#and may all the happiness love and lots lots of health come to your way bby!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stellarsagittarius · 10 days

Text

⏳️🪐 12th House and How Your Mental Anguish Affects You 🪐⏳️

Exchange readings: Open: You (Tarot) x Me (Astrology)

12H ruler in 1H

Imma give you a hug first, okay. What you have gone through, like the experiences that you have had with the world at large, all that you have seen in your life, you internalized it all. You have sort of taken it upon you to be the witness of the suffering around you. Because you feel it all so personally. The person you have become, the thoughts and beliefs you carry are the way they are because of the absurdity of life that you have felt so deeply. It has shaped you, a lot. Next time, try to detach. It is not about you, it was never about you, it about them. You are observing, not absorbing.

12H ruler in 2H

When you are at that lowest point, second guessing everything, it really does affect your ability to manage your resources. And more often than not it can make you feel like you are not worth-it, or that you simply do not deserve to be happy. Especially if you have Chiron in the 2H too, it can feel suffocating because you keep on doing thing, trying to make it work, but you never feel like you did enough. Affirm to yourself about your successes, keep a gratitude journal and remind yourself that your need/wants are all valid.

12H ruler in 3H

You can completely obsess over finding out the reasoning behind why certain things happen the way it did. It's like you want to understand, you want to make actual sense out of it, why your problems are causing you the things that are happening. This can lead to a detachment from actually allowing yourself to feel things out and like emotionally get in a better shape first. You can get stressed out about the facts, a lot of the times. Perhpas communication is something you truly struggle with. Talk it out with someone, understand your feelings first and then a lot of the facts will start to make sense too.

12H ruler in 4H

A lot of your turbulent thoughts and experiences affect you very deeply, like the depth which can make you question your entire existence. Now, I gotta be honest with this one, you are clearing up a lot of karma from your family lineage. You are going to the very root of the issues. Because these mental anguishes aren't surface level for you, they are seated very deeply within your psyche. You have to face these deep seated demons, otherwise you can keep them shoving them down, till it becomes completely unbearable to face yourself. On the positive note, learn to be vulnerable with yourself, learn to be more accepting of what you are going through.

12H ruler in 5H

When you are at the low point in your life, you start to put a great distance between enjoying yourself and becoming completely oblivious to your childlike nature. You need to embrace your inner child. Do what you want, but do not do it because you feel like you can't do anything else with your life. There needs to be like a balance here, between enjoying yourself and knowing when it can get destructive. Too much of anything never did good. You can struggle with finding that simplistic joy in life. So try and spend time alone for a while, maybe get a coloring book or just try and bake cookies. You don't have to be good at something to enjoy it. Even if it's loving yourself.

12H ruler in 6H

You can neglect your health like nobody's business. These thoughts, stress and anguish can manifest directly in your body. That's what it is. When you are not in a good energy, you know you need to reconnect with your body. This may come initially as a bit challenging to truly get yourself to do, but, once you build that habit over time, you will realise how much you have mastered yourself. Focus on your physical well-being. This placement is very simple. You don't need to spend time spaced out and in another world. Get down and strengthen your body, you will notice that you will start to feel much more better in your mind.

12H ruler in 7H

When you get to a low point in life, the point where you are confronted with your old habits, fears and challenging emotions, it highly reflects in your relationships (more so the romantic kind). You can easily slip into unhealthy patterns with your partners, like seeing them with rose colored glasses or not having a proper sense of boundary with them. And you may even fear that true vulnerability with them. So when that happens, seek to be honest by being polite. You are not for everyone, and the ones that are for you will always understand this. Relationship can either make you or break you, choose the people wisely.

12H ruler in 8H

At the lowest points in your life, the people who aren't by your side intentionally, remember them because they are not supposed to be a part of your life. A healthy bond is where both people are there for each other, and that's exactly what life keeps teaching you over and over again. Your biggest anguishes are be caused because of the way certain people treat you and use you for their own benefit. When that happens, remember your biggest enemy is what you do not choose to see within those who take advantage of your kind nature. Yes, we can witness everybody's suffering, but at the end of the day everybody is responsible for themselves.

12H ruler in 9H

When you are at that low point in your life, you can question your faith a lot. There is a feeling where trusting your morals can become really hard. It's like when you know you truly love something, but the mere beliefs that everybody has instilled within you from birth hold you back. And you may even be the type who rebels often because of this thing. Create your own beliefs. That will require you to question what you have always been taught, don't be afraid to question it. You need let yourself see thing. At your lowest you can really see in black and white. Take a step back and observe. Read and learn.

12H ruler in 10H

Many of your mental anguishes come from you struggling with what kind of image you want to uphold between other people. You may struggle a lot with showing up between people or excessively thinking of what other people may think of you when you are at the low points in your life. You can often feel like other people look so deep within you, within the things you want to hide from everybody. When that happens, remember that what others think of you is absolutely none of your business. As long as you know that you are on the right track, you don't need anyone to tell you otherwise.

12H ruler in 11H

You are learning to trust in your dream and not hold yourself back from achievement. You know when you are at those low points in your life, there could be a deep seated fear of missing out on opportunities. You can start to second guess your own hopes, uncertain if you even deserve to have what you want or not. There could also be this sense of feeling like there is no hope left for you, like there is nothing anymore you want to have. When that happens, try to remain grateful, look at all the cool things you have achieved till now, appriciate yourself, open yourself up to something new.

12H ruler in 12H

When you hit rock bottom, it's like plunging into the deepest recesses of your mind, where you confront your fears and doubts about existence. It's a heavy burden, carrying the weight of your own struggles and the suffering of the world within you. At times, it feels suffocating, like you're lost in a maze of your own thoughts, trying to make sense of it all. But amidst the darkness, there is also potential for a lot of spiritual growth. Your journey through the depths of your psyche can lead to a greater understanding of yourself and the universe. Meditate often, and write your thoughts, talk to someone like-minded. Do not isolate yourself either.

______♡______

That's all! Thanks for reading!

#astrology #natal chart reading #astrology readings #natal chart #astrology chart readings #astrology chart #12th house

915 notes · View notes

leoascendente · 4 months

Text

PAC/ Major blessings of the new year ✨️

Hi my loves! Welcome back to another pick a card, this time focused into the new year and what will be the major blessings this new year has in store for you. As always, take a deep breath and take a moment to choose your pile, I suggest you to pick the one that makes you smile the most.

I wish you the best year possible, may peace, happiness and love be always by your side every day of this new year ❤️

Decks: Woodland wardens oracle, Raider Waite tarot and astrodices

For private readings click here / 2024 readings are open

My blog in Spanish here

All pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners

Pile 1/ pile 2/ pile 3

Pile 4/ pile 5/ pile 6

Pile 1:

This new year will be your year of preparation, there's something huge coming into your life at some point but first you need to learn some new skills to get and keep the success you are looking for. Universe is giving you extra time to prepare what you really want to achieve, it's like a period for trying new things and tests what works best for you, especially in matters of career and money because you'll be very lucky in these areas. If you are thinking into opening your own bussiness and be an enterpreneour, this year will be a lucky year for you but the cards wants you to focus on burocracy and legal matters too, you'll have it easy but there are some things you'll need to learn before, like paying taxes on time or investing money wisely

Your areas of luck will be about starting projects and trying new things it's all about taking the lead without fearing risk, whenever you follow your inner compass you'll find yourself attracting more abundance than what you expected. You'll also be very lucky when it comes to gain wealth and what will play the most at your favor is your knowledge about burocracy or legal matters, not only for this year but the years ahead where you'll be managing big amounts of money.

This year will be filled by happiness and meaningful changes, sometimes change can be overwhelming but for you this feels like something you've been waiting for a long time, a desired transformation of your reality. You are the group that got more major arcana, so this 2024 will be an end of a cycle where your life will take a 180-degree turn, there's also this energy of getting out of your head so much and starting focusing on your present moment. With the empress and the magician cards, I see you'll feel a lot more grounded and, for what I'm feeling, this will help you attract money easilly, you'll be a literal money magnet this new year. These two cards are also indicators of a good year of prosperity with work and money, the empress also indicates a huge physical glow up and a boost in your confidence, you'll feel super empowered during 2024 :).

Pile 2:

This new year brings you balance and stability, you'll feel a lot more supported and certain about the path you are taking in life, things will feel more peaceful for you this new year. If you deal with anxiety or something of that sort that involves your mental health, I see a big relief over 2024, you'll be making a lot of progress in this area. The major word I channel is balance, on your outside circumstances but mostly when it comes to yourself and your inner wellbeing, I feel my heart rushing and a knot in my stomach that are slowling relieving, this year might also involve some kind of spiritual or emotional healing too. If you have difficulties dealing with stressful situations this year will also bring you clarity to discern what's best for you and where to invest your precious energy.

You'll be lucky when it comes to find new ways to develop your passion or how you share it with the world, you'll be very lucky if you use some kind of social media or technologies to promote it too, especially if you are an artist. Your intuition will be improving too, if you follow it you'll find sucess at the end of the road, your guides will also be taking relevance in your life. Btw, blue will be your lucky color during the year

This new year will end up some conflicts you were dealing with, the feeling that you needed to constantly fight will dissipate in a very natural way, it will happen progressively in a time where you'll feel like you can finally sit and relax, you might feel extra tired sometimes but it will be because your nervous system will get out of survival mode. You end up a karmic cycle of your life that will allow you to focus on your finances and being productive at work because you got the ace and the 8 of pentacles right after the card of the world, so working and seeing progress will be a major theme of your year ahead, if you are into handcraft of some sort you can get extra income with it. You'll be also getting out of your comfort zone more often to find beautiful things outside of what's known to you, this will be a year of adventures that you'll live with peace in your heart.

Pile 3:

There's an improvement on your energy levels and your home life, you'll feel a lot more healthy and vital during the new year, I don't usually talk about health in any of my readings but your pile deserves it because your body is regenerating positively somehow, whatever you are doing to take care of it just know it's working and will give you proofs of it this new year. There's also a major message about your home life and how it will be taking a more important role in your life, maybe it's something as simple as to be able to decorate it the way you like or it's something more relevant like making a renovation of pipes or fixing leaks, whatever it is, it's something you've been wishing for a long time, It could also be that you'll finally be moving to the house of your dreams.

Your lucky areas talk about health again with virgo in the dices, I see trying to have a healthier habits will help you in this aspect of your wellbeing, maybe create a healthier routine or something that sort (it will be different for each of you reading this), always do what's most aligned with yourself. You also got pluto and the third house so this year will be good for you to transform yourself, maybe stepping out of what's known for you and try new practices, it could also be that you are re-learning some thinigs after an spiritual awakening. For a little amount of you this could mean taking a different approach when it comes to your physical health and needs.

Uhhh things got interesting with your tarot cards! There's a lot of love entering your life my dear :), you got so many beautiful cards that I had to take a minute to channel and summarize all the info. After a period of healing and purification all your dreams will start to come true, the healing process might seem too intense because you'll be getting a lot of channelings in a short period of time but suddently everything will start happening for you, it will happen in the most unexpected way at the mostt unexpected time, you won't see all the happiness coming, even if you receive signs you won't be paying that much attention. You got the star, 10 of cups, ace of cups and the empress, if this is not an omen of your true love entering your life I don't know what it is haha, maybe the message about the home means that you finally meet the person you are going to create a home with because you got the king and knight of pentacles at the bottom of the deck so this person is arriving with commitment, peace and stability. Congratulations my dear, you'll be discovering love in many different aspects of your life during this new year.

Pile 4:

Your major blessing is some kind of dharma, it's something that will make you gain hope in Universe's protection over you, this will come through other people that will communicate things to you that will feel like an eureka moment where everything starts to make sense. Honestly, this feels like making amends with the past, do you know when you see the bully of your high school after 10 years and all the rage dissapears because that person is having a nightmare of a life?, it's not about being happy about other people's suffering, it is more the feeling of there's someone up there watching everything we do and no one leaves without paying their karma.

You area of luck is about the people that will enter your life, I see you reuniting with your soul tribe this year and finding lovely people that will treat you with respect and admiration. If you are someone that has dealt with the worst aspect of human nature, this year will be a proof from Universe of all the good traits humans have, it's like Universe wants to compensate you for the battles you have gone through, you'll find your place and your people in this world.

With the tarot cards I'm seeing that you'll be meeting the most lighthearted and positive aspect of life, there's happiness, support and love entering your life to stay. You'll be moving on from a lot of mental patterns that were holding you back, it's like you have learnt the theory and you are finally dealing with the practice that you thought it would be supper difficult and challenging and will ressult into being the most easy and peacefull process ever, like you don't even have to make any effort because everything will be moving at your same pace. Between all the new positive people entering your life, there are a lot of chances to find a romantic soulmate there, because of the cards you got I see an unblock in your heart chakra that will unblock your love life too, especially for those that have been single for a while. At the bottom of the deck you got the 6 of swords and the wheel of fortune so this new year will be a shift in your luck to the positive aspects of life, you'll also be feeling more hopeful and optimistic.

Pile 5

Your pile is the only one that has one extra oracle card and it's because that card wanted to fly and land on the opposite side of the room, not to give you spoilers but it was the card of romance. This new year will bring you a lot of different blessings, I see 3 major ones at least, romace is very prominent through all your spread so this year you will meet your true love and will start your life together as a couple. Another blessing I see here is some sort of independence (it will be different for each of you so take only what resonates), it can be moving alone to a new place, working by yourself or releasing emotional attachments, whatever independence means to you is what you'll be getting this new year. I also see admiration from people when they look up to you, you'll be receiving adoration from others, like getting a fan club or something like that, it feels like people being devoted to you, so you might viral or achieve some level of fame throught the new year

Your lucky areas will be taking care of yourself and your beauty on the inside and the outside, if you've been thinking about changing your style this year will be very favorable for you in this aspect, also for beauty treatments or anything related to your image and appearance. Another lucky area will be your drive and inner power, you can rely on this aspects whenever you need a boost of confidence, remind yourself your talents and keep moving, you are your most powerful lucky charm <3

Uhhh Divine counterparts energy here in your tarot cards, the magician and the high priestess and the king and queen of cups, so you'll be finding a person so in tune with you that it gives me goosebumps all over my spine, you'll understand what a twin flame connection is after this person enters your life, btw, it's someone completely new, no one from the past. Your overall message about this new year is success and moving on from what no longer serves you, this new year you'll be aligning with your happiest and most successful version and honestly, I feel like you won't have to do that much because Universe is pampering you during the whole year

Pile 6

Your oracle card's literal is happiness, so honey, happy days are here again for you, I see even see you crying of joy a few times during the year. You are my spiritual pile and my dear, this year you'll be having magical moments with your spirituality, you'll see miracles happening in front of you, I'm literally hearing 'a glitch in the matrix' so you'll be seeing and undestanding Universe in such a deeper level. You'll be nourishing your soul during this new year, you'll be more in tune with your inner child and you'll be focused into what's best for you and your happiness, life will also be very gentle with you.

Your lucky areas have something to do with your soul mission, especially if you are the kind of people that loves helping others and would like to dedicate your life into a major service for others. It's something related to healing, it can be your own or this might be more related of a soul mission that involves helping others, whatever it be, you'll be receiving rewards because of this. Another lucky area will be the people that will enter your life, you'll have an amazing support system in the people you will know this year.

You'll be knowing a soul mate this year! You got 2 and 10 of cups and a lot of major arcana, so I see a major connection with a romantic soulmate but also there are a lot of soul mates that will enter your life to align you with your soul mission, every person will come with a lot of knowledge that will make you feel fullfiled on a soul level. There's also a shift in your luck but it will be mostly driven by your own mentality, you'll feel stronger and more confident in whatever your passions are, you'll be also having some sort of realization about what you want to do with your life and will plan how to make it true, Universe will be favoring you in this aspect.

#witchblr #leoascendente #divination witch #tarot #tarotblr #pac reading #pick a pile #tarot reading

611 notes · View notes

rolanpilled · 5 months

Text

Why I Fell In Love With Rolan, A Character Analysis

I will be going through Rolan's lines, along with the devnotes, to try and explain my interpretation of his character.

This is coming from having spent 30+ hours combing through his dialogues, reading all of his books, listening to every voice line for context, and replaying every scene of his that's currently accessible.

TW: Mentions of abuse, family death, implied suicide

Very long post under cut. Get the Arabellan Dry out!

A few notes before getting into this:

In the game files, Rolan is referred to as "Prodigy", while Cal and Lia are referred to as "ProdigyBrother" and "ProdigySister".

Rolan is a character whose outer words and inner thoughts often do not align - for most of the game, he refuses to show vulnerability in front of Tav, reserving his softness for his siblings. This can be interpreted in a number of ways, ranging from a self-confidence issue to an avoidant attachment style. Though people are free to have their own interpretations, I will mainly be focusing on my own readings of his personality.

I am not a psychologist or a licensed health professional, but I have personal experiences with the mental health disorders I will reference in this post, and I have done a lot of research on the topics involved.

Part 1 - Elturel, and Rolan's past

"Rolan. Just... Rolan."

There isn't much you can tell about Rolan's life except that he's from Elturel and that Cal and Lia are his siblings - after all, he doesn't give you much info in the first place. He doesn't know you, he doesn't trust you. Why would he?

The information you get about his family and his life before BG3 come from minor dialogues, and using Speak With Dead on his corpse. The picture they paint isn't a happy one.

[Player: What's your name?]

[Rolan: Rolan. Just... Rolan.]

[Player: Do you have any family?]

[Rolan: No... family... no one.]

[Player: No family? What about Lia and Cal?]

[Rolan: They are... brother and sister. Cal says... I am family, but...]

Rolan doesn't have a family name. We don't know if Lia and Cal do, but it can be assumed they don't, else he might have taken theirs. The first thing that sticks out to me in this dialogue is that he doesn't consider himself to have a family, even though Cal and Lia say he's part of theirs.

The question is, what could have caused this? If his blood family was simply dead, wouldn't he refer to them as "dead" or "gone"? Instead he says he has "no one" and "no family", perhaps implying that his parents just... abandoned him. Either way, it gives the impression that he has issues with being abandoned, and may project a sense of toughness and arrogance to make up for his insecurity.

And there IS insecurity here - he outright says that Cal and Lia tell him that he's no different from family to them, but deep down, he doesn't seem to be able to accept it. That he can only reveal this information to you after death, having been so guarded in life, is heartbreaking.

As for his life in Elturel, not much is said, but a lot can be inferred from his attitude.

[Cal: Elturel was the last time the three of us talked like this. Let's hope it lasts until Baldur's Gate.]

After leaving Elturel, it appears Rolan, Cal, and Lia didn't have much time to talk. This is from the party scene - a scene where they're drinking, laughing, and joking amongst each other. Clearly the journey hasn't been the easiest for all of them, though one thing we can take from this dialogue is that they've had this friendly, sibling-like relationship for a long time.

From what we know of Elturel and the Descent, things were NOT pretty down in Avernus. Many people died, and after the city was returned to the surface, tieflings were driven out of the city, as we all know. Something important to think about is how exactly this might have gone for the three siblings: how exactly they ended up in the Grove, travelling with the refugees. The context seems to imply that the siblings were travelling on their own, not necessarily considered a part of the group, but this is debatable and not entirely clear.

So what brought them to Baldur's Gate? What finally drove them out of the city? Did they leave before things got worse, or were they driven from their homes with stones and violence? It could really be anything, but the one thing that's clear is that their primary reason for heading to Baldur's Gate is for Rolan to start his apprenticeship with Lorroakan.

We know that Rolan wrote Lorroakan a letter: multiple letters, actually. We're not sure if he wrote to other wizards, but from his dialogue, you can tell that Lorroakan's been someone he's respected for a long time, both for his magical skills and his political beliefs. Though he's never met Lorroakan, you can find a copy of Lorroakan's biography on his desk at Sorcerous Sundries - there's an admiration established early on, and the player is led to believe that Lorroakan is a powerful wizard (though if you bring Gale with you, he comments on Lorroakan's shady reputation, hinting at something darker beneath the surface).

What could have driven Rolan to write so far away, seeking apprenticeship? Was it out of a sense of desperation, wanting to leave the city but needing a way to take care of his siblings? Was it curiosity? A sense that Lorroakan might be his last chance to make something of himself after being denied what he felt like was his rightful destiny? As a tiefling, he must have faced some discrimination for his heritage - I can speak to my own experience here, growing up as a person of color in a majority-white community was genuinely traumatizing to myself and my non-white friends. Not only do we receive open bullying and ostracization for our appearance, there's something even more insidious that often happens to minority populations - neglect. A general disinterest in our accomplishments, a lack of encouragement and attention towards kids that don't fit the norm. If this was something Rolan had to experience, it's no wonder he felt angry and eager to prove himself. He's been neglected his all his life, and he finally has a chance to show everyone who doubted him that he really does have the potential to be a great wizard.

Rolan himself appears to be in his mid- to late- twenties, bringing up the question of what he's been doing his entire life if not magic. It's mentioned that he was able to conjure a flaming cat from when Cal was as young as 8, so depending on the age difference between the siblings, Rolan might have known magic from a very early age. So why, then, is he a mere wizard apprentice at the start of the game? He's surely had a lot of time to learn himself.

[Lia: Try not to get too close, Cal.]

[Rolan: Yes. Remember what happened last time?]

[Cal: I was eight and you magicked up a kitten. How was I supposed to know it was made of fire?]

What could have happened along the way? He might have just not found the time or the opportunity to be able to study, especially as a tiefling without a family or the money to pay for an education. In my interpretation, Rolan carries a lot of unvoiced shame for not having been able to "fulfill his destiny" until now. He projects an outward mask of confidence and arrogance to hide his vulnerability, his insecurities - that his family isn't really his family, and that he isn't really destined for greatness. His natural reaction to vulnerability is anger and denial, which we'll explore more in the later sections.

(It is mentioned in the devnotes, though, that Rolan "has truly worked his ass off to get here". Prodigy is not an ironic title - he's likely had to self-study to the point where Lorroakan felt that he had potential. He has a right to be confident, but it doesn't negate any potential feelings of unworthiness.)

Additional info - Rolan, Cal, and Lia, on top of having known each other since Cal was 8, also share a mother figure, who is deceased. There is no mention of a father. It could be that this was Lia and Cal's actual mother, who took Rolan in, or a number of other possibilities - it could be that ROLAN'S mother took the three in, or that she just happened to be an unrelated woman who adopted three orphans.

[Cal: We should have a little party when we reach the city, like we did for mum.]

[Rolan: That 'little party' lasted from sundown to sunrise. Lia would like that.]

This dialogue can only be accessed if Lia dies but Cal and Rolan live.

So we've set up a few key details about Rolan's personality: his arrogance may harbor hints of insecurity or desperation, he has issues with feeling abandoned or neglected, and he's potentially been denied his chance to learn magic in the past. We will explore these in detail in the next few sections, along with another troubling tendency of his - perfectionism, and the self-blame that comes with it.

Part 2 - The Grove

"I'll not gamble our lives, our futures, for people who are as good as dead."

If you recall his dialogue in the grove, Rolan seems to distance himself from the other refugees, focusing only on the safety of his siblings. Let's unpack this in his own words -

[Rolan: This isn't Elturel and I'm not responsible for every damn tiefling in the world!]

[Rolan: I made no such oath, and I will not be held responsible for these people.]

This is in contrast to Lia, who believes that they should help what she considered to be their 'kin'. Remember that Rolan often refers to the refugees in a detached way, refusing to associate himself with them.

At a first glance, it might seem like Rolan is fixated on his apprenticeship - he wants to get to Baldur's Gate straight away, so he can begin studying under Lorroakan. Lia accuses him of the same, causing Rolan to react with anger.

But if you think about what Rolan's underlying motivations might be, you might have realized something that Cal and Lia most likely recognized too - he's worried for his siblings' safety.

The grove is an open, unprotected area, and they're being menaced by druids on one side, goblins on the other. There's only a few fighters, Rolan, Cal and Lia among them, and none of them are strong enough to take on either group. Even if Rolan feels a sort of kinship with the other tieflings - which I'll expand on in a second - he prioritizes the lives of his siblings over them, and doesn't want them to sacrifice themselves for people he doesn't even know.

Now, the other theory - what if Rolan doesn't identify with the other tieflings, because he's been cast out by them before?

I'm going to inject my personal experience as an immigrant here. Life as an immigrant can be profoundly isolating, especially if you have few relatives in the area. Rolan may have been so attached to Cal and Lia because they took him in when his own people rejected him - for some reason, even other tieflings could have seen him as an "outsider", and refused to help him when his parents abandoned him or died. If you tie in the theory that he was a tiefling born to human parents (which would be taboo), it could have been that they rejected him for not "being tiefling enough". I'm aware that in-universe there's no one unified "culture" of tieflings, but even in groups without a unified culture, there are still small pockets of people with certain internal customs. It could be that Rolan failed to fit in due to his heritage, that he was rejected for his personality, or some other reason, but my interpretation for his refusal to help fellow tieflings is that he never quite felt the same kinship for them that Cal and Lia did. It could also be that he holds resentment towards them for abandoning him - abandonment seems to be a central theme in Rolan's story, and likely contributes to his feelings of inferiority and unworthiness.

(He does seem to know Infernal, though I don't know whether that's a cultural thing or an innate trait to tieflings.)

If the fight is held at the grove, Rolan, Cal, and Lia stand near the back of the cave to protect the children. They can be found arguing with each other on potential battle positions. Afterwards, if the tieflings and all three of the siblings survive, they can be found by the entrance of the cave, where Rolan again behaves arrogantly towards you and claims he could have handled the goblins on his own.

All of this is quite standard for his character and projects the image of an arrogant, selfish person who only seeks to protect himself and the people that matter to him, which is likely what he wants. It also lends some credibility to the interpretation where he was rejected by other refugees - if he felt neutral towards other tieflings, it might have made more sense if he was less derisive towards them. Instead, he consistently detaches himself from his people, drawing clear lines between them, with a hint of bitterness that seems to have a painful origin.

The rest of Act 1 is Rolan acting like his standard self - bratty, arrogant, and dismissive of others. That is how most of us met him, though he won't stay that way for long.

Part 3 - Moonrise

"But what good am I if I can't do this... this one thing?"

(Author's note: "This one thing" is travelling alone through a cursed, necrotic land, breaking into a prison staffed with dozens of trained guards, and personally facing an immortal chosen of the literal god of death. Rolan is a Level 4 wizard.)

As you already know, at the start of Act 2 Rolan is drinking himself to death alone. His brother and sister have been dragged away screaming by the cultists, and he's overwhelmed at the thought of never seeing them again. Naturally, he's quite angry with you, but if you read his lines closely, you can see that you're not the only person he's angry at.

[Rolan: Gods damn it all. I can do nothing right - not a damn thing!] [Devnote: Furious - mainly with himself]

[Player: You're supposed to be at Last Light.]

[Rolan: I'm supposed to be saving Cal and Lia!] [Devnote: Frantic, worried for his siblings]

[Rolan: Instead, I found myself cornered by shadow-fiends and in need of rescue. From you, of all bloody people.] [Devnote: Pissed off and taking it out on the player]

[Player: You were trying to help your family - you're too hard on yourself.]

[Rolan: Or not hard enough.]

[Rolan: I've failed Cal and Lia, again. Be on your way - I'll return to Last Light... I know when I'm outmatched.]

Rolan is someone who feels deeply responsible for the safety of his siblings (this lends credence to the idea that he's the eldest of the three). He may argue and bicker with them, but he could never abandon then, nor could he forgive himself if something were to happen to them. He is clearly carrying an unbearable amount of grief and guilt for allowing his siblings to be captured, but he's so emotionally repressed that he chooses to bury his sorrow under a mound of anger. Being drunk doesn't help - it's mentioned by one of the kids, Ide, that he's been through three bottles of wine by the time the player reaches the Shadow-Cursed Lands.

That much is obvious just from reading his lines, but his angry reaction to the player is, as the devnotes say, a way of taking out his pain and frustration on other people. He might feel guilty about it later, but in the moment, it's the only way he knows how to cope with them. This isn't his only instance of externalizing his self-hatred.

If Cal dies and Lia lives, the player has the option to break up an argument between Lia and Rolan. If they fail to neutralize the situation, Rolan will tell Lia (or Cal, depending on who lives) to get out of his sight permanently.

[Rolan: You deserve nothing. You two are cowardly parasites, and I am disgusted it took me this long to see. Get out of my sight.] [Devnote: Furious in his grief, lashing out, being as hurtful as he can to his surviving sibling]

[Lia: Fuck you, Rolan!]

[Lia: Insufferable, arrogant little prick. Argh.]

[Lia: Everything is about him, everything is about his pain. Godsdamnit, Rolan!]

It says a lot to me that if one of his siblings dies, that he has to be convinced out of lashing out at his surviving one. He seems to be like a person who deals with strong emotions by lashing out, likely as a defense mechanism to make himself appear stronger than he feels. This is a common technique used by people with self-esteem issues - to avoid drawing attention to their own vulnerability, they lash out and externalize their feelings with anger to bury the grief. Lia says as much in this ending - to Rolan, everything is about his pain, and he's managing it in the only way he knows how. He knows he's hurting his siblings, he knows it's wrong, but he engages in it anyway, a common trait of people who dislike themselves. If Rolan didn't have his apprenticeship, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that the death of his siblings might have caused him to spiral and give up on life altogether.

Interestingly enough, in the end where both Rolan and one of his siblings die, it's implied that the remaining sibling commits suicide. You can read more about it here - it gives some insight into Rolan's motivations, and serves to emphasize exactly how much this apprenticeship means to him. Rolan lives for two things, though it really just is one thing - his siblings, and his apprenticeship, which means more to him because it represents a hopeful future for his siblings. Every clue in the game points to his siblings being everything to him.

But let's move away from this bad ending for one second, and back to where we are. Rolan's been drinking himself silly, yelling at children, and eventually storms out into the SCL by himself. Being an apprentice wizard, few expect him to survive on his own, and true to form, he has to be rescued by the player again.

Though I think this line is currently bugged and unavailable, he actually has lines reacting to the shadows.

[Rolan: My magic is not to be trifled with - leave or die!] [Devnote: Exhausted and scared, but trying not to sound it]

Rolan, emotionally repressed fool he is, is once again attempting to appear big in order to protect himself from what he fears. Whether it's the shadows, or the loss of his siblings, he reacts to stressful situations with a brave front, attempting to push people away so they won't see him at his worst state.

This is one of the common symptoms of an avoidant attachment disorder - an attachment style that causes people to push others away if they get too close, avoiding emotional closeness and being uncomfortable expressing vulnerability to others. I interpret Rolan as having this kind of attachment style, which is often formed from neglect or abuse as a child, resulting in a self-sufficient but emotionally cold person. It can lead to the breakdowns of close relationships, as evidenced by Rolan pushing away his surviving sibling (potentially in order to save himself the grief of having to go through their death again). People with this disorder often cut off people before they can be cut off, in order to save themselves the pain of being abandoned again.

Some recognize the negative impact of their behaviors more than most, and though Rolan never comments on it, it can be inferred that he feels some measure of guilt for the way he behaves. If convinced to lay off of his surviving sibling, he immediately apologizes, recognizing his mistake.

[Cal: Do you wish it was me who died? Instead of Lia?]

[Rolan: Gods no, that's not what I meant. Never, Cal. Never!] [Devnote: Realizes what he's just said. Backtracking, apologizing, sincere]

[Rolan: Shit. I'm sorry.] [Devnote: Disgusted with himself and what he's just said. Looking away, sincere apology]

[Cal: Me too.]

We can see here that Rolan IS capable of self-reflection and guilt - it just takes more than a nudge to get it out of him. He says as much if you manage to rescue both siblings, thanking you and apologizing for his behavior - not an empty apology, or made out of necessity, but a genuine, heartfelt admission of guilt and gratitude. This kind of mature response from him says a lot about his character, and hints at a capacity for further growth in Act 3.

As Cal says, Rolan can be stubborn, but he's never malicious. I see this as an indicator of the immense guilt he holds inside him - though he externalizes his rage towards anyone and everyone, deep down, the person he blames the most is himself.

Which leads me directly into a talk about perfectionism, one of Rolan's defining character traits.

Rolan, at his core, is a perfectionist. The feelings of failure for not being able to save his siblings, the arrogance that belies a certain type of self-hatred, and a willingness to attack others in order to deflect from his own vulnerability - all of these traits tie heavily into perfectionism, which Rolan consistently displays traits of. At the start of the game, he spends every line with the player bragging about how he and Lorroakan are going to become household names, how they will boast of this meeting to others. To an extent, I'm sure he believes it. He's just been invited to what he considers to be a prestigious apprenticeship, despite everyone having considered him a failure. Naturally, he's excited despite the trauma of Elturel and Avernus, and wants to get to Lorroakan immediately in order to fulfill his destiny (he refers to it as his destiny several times throughout the game).

This makes what happens next all the more tragic.

Part 4 - Baldur's Gate, Lorroakan, and ending the Cycle of Abuse

Picture this - you've been rejected, abandoned, considered a lost cause for most of your life, accepted only by the siblings you just barely avoided losing forever. But the journey was worth it. You're finally here, in the city you've dreamed of, studying under who in your opinion is one of the most powerful and respected wizards in the world.

Then you get there, and you don't learn a thing. Your teacher asks you nonsensical questions and beats you as a punishment when you're wrong. It's unsurprising that when the player enters Sorcerous Sundries, that Rolan seems a bit more dejected than usual.

Much has been said about the depiction of abuse in media, but as a survivor of domestic violence, I found Rolan's reaction and justification of his abuse very accurate for someone suffering from DV. True to his personality, the very first thing he does is deny that anything's wrong, continuing his trend of burying his emotions in the hope that they'll go away.

[Player: I know the marks of subjugation. Your face - what happened?]

[Rolan: Nothing for you to worry about.] [Devnote: Master Lorroakan hurt him, but he doesn't want to say]

[Narrator: *His voice catches. Something's wrong here.*]

Survivors of DV often feel great shame towards their abuse, often blaming themselves and refusing to speak about it out of fear of appearing vulnerable. True to that, Rolan doesn't say anything about what Lorroakan's doing it, resorting to another common tactic for abuse survivors - implying what's happening without directly stating that the abuse is occurring. This is often out of fear, especially if the victim is still close to the abuser - in this case, Rolan not wanting to jeopardize his apprenticeship, or possibly be abused further for disclosing it to someone else.

[Rolan: Be very sure before you make to visit Lorroakan. He's got a beastly temper.] [Devnote: Sounds a bit disappointed in the player]

[Rolan: Master Lorroakan is... a difficult man.] [Devnote: Gently touches bruised face, distant]

Abuse survivors often hold a great deal of guilt for 'allowing' themselves to be abused, more so if the abuser considers them weak or easy to manipulate. There's often a stigma - "why didn't you just leave? You knew it was bad, yet you stayed, so there must be some blame on your part." This is not an uncommon belief amongst survivors, and through his journal entries, it can be inferred that Rolan holds a similar belief. Rolan's journal, and his VA's fantastic reading of it, can be found here. Rolan is clearly aware that what's being done to him is wrong, but he persists - in my opinion, partially because he believes it's worth the benefits involved, and partially because he feels a responsibility towards his siblings to succeed after 'failing' them so tragically before. Again, perfectionism, guilt, internalized self-hatred: easy traits for a horrible man like Lorroakan to take advantage of.

There are a few possible endings for Rolan here, the first being if you side against the Nightsong with Lorroakan.

The thing about abuse, as Larian so excellently portrays it, is that it is often perpetuated in cycles. A person who's been hurt is more likely to hurt others, whether as a response to their pain, or in an attempt to spread their misery in order to feel less alone. Though not all survivors become perpetrators themselves, many perpetrators are survivors themselves. Rolan is no different - if Nightsong is captured, and Lorroakan is killed in the fight, he will immediately attempt to cage the Nightsong himself and harness her immortality. This could easily be seen as an attempt to get strong enough that no one can ever hurt or take advantage of him again.

When the player next long rests, Rolan will be found dead, having been killed by Aylin - perhaps a mercy, to avoid him from becoming just the same as Lorroakan.

But the player who cares for Rolan wouldn't let this happen to him, right?

Rolan's attitude towards the player gradually changes over time, but nothing shows his growth more than his good ending, where you save Cal and Lia and side with the Nightsong. When you bring Nightsong to the tower, Rolan will be shocked, in disbelief that the Nightsong was a person all along. He turns against Lorroakan on the spot despite the other man's threats to ruin his life (a common tactic employed by abusers to control their victims).

[Lorroakan: Boy! At the ready. Once I've taken control of the aasimar, she must go directly into the caging runes.]

[Rolan: No, Master Lorroakan. I would have never assisted you if I knew you planned such horrors.]

[Rolan: You lied to get the Nightsong here. Made us all believe she was nothing but a relic. I have seen what true leadership can accomplish - but never under your tutelage.]

[Lorroakan: Watch your tongue, you child! I could make it so that no wizard in the realm will touch you.]

[Rolan: If they're all like you, I think that sounds like an excellent bargain.]

It takes an immense amount of courage to stand up to one's abuser, so to see Rolan so bravely stand against the man who hurt him was a positive surprise to me. It also shows just how much the player has changed Rolan for the better - your leadership and selflessness has inspired him, given him the bravery to stand against his abuser. It's a powerful scene, and I admit that watching it brought a tear to my eye, brief as it was. Few people get the chance to take revenge on their abusers, so it was cathartic to see Rolan thunderwaving him onto the balcony before letting Aylin snap his spine.

After the fight, Rolan thanks the player, finally feeling safe enough after his abuser's death to reveal what happened to him. Though it's implied that he feels some shame for being victimized, much of it is likely from the shock of the sudden event, and by the next day he's regained much of his enthusiasm - he still has the ego, but with less arrogance and more acceptance of the player's presence. Rolan's growth, from hating and mistrusting the player to eventually trusting them enough to show his true, kind self to them, is what really made me fall in love with him and his character arc.

Ultimately, Rolan's story isn't just about learning to lay down your pride and accept help from others - it's about abandoning perfectionism and elitism, accepting your own faults, and choosing to grow as a person. For Rolan, the player begins as an annoying, meddlesome force, someone who "moralizes" to him about saving others when he wants no part in doing what's considered "right". By the end of the game, he realizes just how lucky he is to have you in his life - without the player's influence, he could have easily gone down the worst path, the path of narcissism, ego, and disregard for others. But because of a string of coincidences, he was saved from that fate, and was allowed to grow and accept that there's enough room in his heart for more than just the few people that care about him. He learns to lay down the perfectionism, accept that making mistakes is a part of change, and feel his feelings for what they are - whether they're gratitude, fear, or even sadness.

For someone who struggles with avoidant attachment disorder, seeing Rolan's character change throughout the game greatly inspired me to change the way I was approaching my own relationships with people. Avoidant attachment disorder is not talked about very often, both in the medical field and in everyday life, and people suffering from it are often misunderstood or considered to be 'lost causes' - to see Rolan so capable of change inspired me to change myself, and I'm sure I wasn't the only one who felt this way.

When he takes over Ramazith's Tower, Rolan decides to distribute Lorroakan's knowledge to the world, and tells you about his plans to open a library. This is the most obvious sign that he's changed - the player's willingness to help him despite getting little or nothing in exchange has inspired him, and he becomes a kinder, more open person. He learns to trust again, to love again. It's unclear what happens afterwards, as he's not present in the epilogue, but the heartwarming conclusion to his arc can be seen in the issue of the Baldur's Mouth Gazette after Lorroakan's death -

Despite everything, Rolan makes it to the end, having vanquished the trials in front of him with the help of the player. He gets his tower, his knowledge, and shares it with the realms, finally able to realize that he's worthy and deserving of a happy life.

Thank you to Larian for bringing Rolan's story to life, to Mr. Taylor for his excellent portrayal of this character, and to all the Rolan fans for showing him so much love every single day.

I have met so many amazing and talented friends from the community around this character, and I'll forever be grateful for everyone who showed him the love I feel towards him.

I can be found on twitter at @gimblebock.

#rolan #rolan bg3 #bg3 rolan #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #rolan cal lia #lorroakan #bg3 lore #long post

703 notes · View notes

moonbaetarot · 1 month

Text

Pick a pile

What makes you a good person

1. 2. 3.

Pile 1

Your a peaceful person you like to keep your peace. Your someone who goes with the flow your ok with change and new things even if your scared of a situation you know it’s all going to be ok. You stay true to yourself you’re not flashy you don’t flex your money or newest finest things you have. You see things from every perspective you’re not quick to judge you know everyone comes from different paths in lives and may see things differently. You may have struggled with mental health, anxiety or depression in your childhood or teen years this really played a part in who you are today. You may be a teacher or want to be a teacher of some sort or had a teacher in your life who you looked up to I’m getting miss honey and Matilda vibes. You make what seems impossible possible. Someone here could be 22. You have a lot of stability you’re ready for anything. You see everything as an opportunity. You don’t let people get in the way of your path in life. You know how defend your self you usally don’t tho if someone says something about you you just like I feel sad for them like “you must be miserable to hate on me” but if you need to defend yourself you’ll snap and get your point across.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 2

Being a good person may feel hard sometimes. it’s like you do everything for everyone and get nothing back. You over work yourself for people who don’t deserve nothing from you. You’re worrying about pleasing others over your own happiness. You may feel like being a good person gets you nowhere. (I’m sorry love if someone in your life and doesn’t appreciate you you need to cut them off you deserve so much more then people who don’t appreciate all you do, you are so important and you will find someone that will appreciate you.) You take care you others I’m getting empathetic energy like if someone around you is sick your fast to get them whatever they need because you remember what it’s like to be sick so you wanna help them get better. You stay committed your very goal oriented if you put your mind to something you’re doing anything to get there. Someone here may be very close to their grandma or used to when they were little. You find a way to see the joy in fun in life even when things aren’t easy. You’re good at giving advice you know just what to say in any situation. Someone here may have very long hair or like to their elbow. You know how to keep a promise. You need to learn to cut people out your life love someone in your life isn’t good for you.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 3

You use past situations to help better yourself. You work well with other people and groups. People see you as approachable you have a very friendly energy about you that makes people wanna talk and be friends with you. I feel like you’re a very good friend always checking up on people making sure everyone’s ok and making sure no one feels left out when y’all hangout. I feel that sometimes your face may say other wise tho lol someone here may have a rbf or just look mad or tired sometimes. You are good in relationships you were made to me a lover I’m hearing “best I ever had”. When you have kids you’re going to be the best parent you are going to love those kids so much And unconditionally. I feel like having kids is going to change you for the better if there things you don’t like or flaws you have become a parent is going to change all of that. I feel like you’re a trustworthy person people trust you with many things. You look out for people you love and protect them from people with ill intentions Your able to see the bad in people and they will think there slick and getting away with it but you see right through them. You have a mothering healing energy people feel safe around you being around you just feels like a big hug. You have a very soft submissive girly energy.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

#pick a card #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a pile #pick an image #tarot cards #tarot deck #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #pick a crystal #pick a reading #pick one #pick a deck #pick a number #daily tarot #tarot #free tarot

278 notes · View notes

che444 · 6 months

Text

Being (the “I am” state)

(Long post)

I think the most common instance I see in the community when interacting with asks and reading different struggles we all have/have had during our journey, is that people don’t just let themselves be.

A lot of us believe(d) that we have to work hard for everything, and we take that and apply it to manifestation. Maybe you feel it is too easy to just provide to yourself in imagination, you think there must be something else you have to do, that it can’t be that easy. Well, my love, I see you, I hear you, and I have been you. But, I am glad to inform you that when you reach this beautiful garden of truth and learning yourself and how this world works, that it is in fact, that easy.

As children, we played so freely in our imagination, even when we did not have the best days. We were always enthralled with our wildest dreams, excited by the mere glimmer of something new, even if we may have lost the ability to return to that sanctity as life become complicated, and imagination was thrown away for the sharp and harsh situations that life may have thrown at us. But I assure you, that you never lose the ability to imagine, it is never gone for good, maybe put to the side but never lost.

Imagine states being in a big shopping mall. You can try on any state you want, you can fill your cart up with fancy coats and dolce bags if you embody being rich (I am rich, I am financial free, I am always receiving gifts), you can fill your cart with heart patterned sweaters and lovely smelling candles if you are focusing on manifesting love or self love (I am loved, I am chosen, I am beautiful), and if you are trying to embody the state of being unloved you can fill your cart with no happy ending romance books and candles that smell like cat piss and back way alleys after it rains (I am unloved, I am not appreciated). Best deal is, it’s all on the house, all you have to do is pay in your mentality and accept this state as your own.

Now, let’s say you get to the register and you realize you don’t have enough mental bucks to spend on feeling rich today, let’s say life has been going crazy and you can only lay in bed, you feel overwhelmed by everything and you can’t raise your vibes right now.

Well, you’re in luck!

There is a layaway where you can store any state you plan to return to, even if you just need to wallow for a bit. The person at the register doesn’t look angry or upset, the look at you with the same witty smile, and hand you slippers, comfy socks, and a complimentary box of chocolates! You get your receipt and it lists all of what you have on layaway, waiting for you at any time! You can leave confidently knowing that you still have them, they just have to be picked up when you’re ready!

Now let’s break this down:

Clothes and different items you can place in your cart = the state you are wanting to be in

employee at the register = your subconscious, you

Layaway = an infinite amount of states that are always accessible to you because everything is you, they never go away, they are just not being made aware of to come into fruition

The register = the point of deciding, from the moment you make that transaction and put on your new clothes, you are now occupying that state, and the unfolding begins.

My love, those parts of you that you may feel like you have lost due to the harshities of this world are never gone, you just had to put them down because all you had the energy to focus on at that time was what you had to get done (working to make ends meet, dealing with a tumultuous relationship, having mental health issues) and that is okay. It may feel like you need to apply that survival mode to get these good things too. But no my love, you do not. You have been doing this since you were a child, your gift is limitless and always exists inside of you. Use your beautiful and boundless imagination internally to give yourself what you want externally.

When you are down, when you are sad, when you feel like you cannot hold yourself to a new state, work through your current one, do not run away, do not ignore it, do not fight against it to be perfect. You are already perfect and you always will be, Angel. Imagine yourself on a throne, as a famous movie star, go into the depths of your imagination and soar, feel the essence of what is like to be your true self. That doesn’t require you to lift a finger, so be gentle with yourself. No one is angry that you didn’t stay in the state today, you are not a failure, you are learning, and time is not your god, you are god.

when you feel as though you cannot do it today, don’t, but when you can, return to yourself as a child, and bask in your boundless imagination, treat yourself to bliss and never stop and your 3D will have no choice but to give it to you. All you gotta do is go shopping, and that mall is always there for you sweetheart. It is never too late to shop for a new look, you can change it at any time.

I love you, from my gracious heart to yours,

Luv, che 🌷

P.S

PUT THE 369 method DOWN, GET SOME SLEEP AND WATCH A COMFORT SHOW! 💕

#law of assumption #manifesting #neville goddard #self concept #manifestation #desired reality #loassumption #manifest #loa #shifting realities

443 notes · View notes

ivesambrose · 5 months

Text

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ❅

1. 2. 3.

Claim one or all, it's up to you 🕊️

A small gift from me to you on my solar return 🤍

Winter Sale ☃️

Personal Readings

Masterpost

PayPal

Thank you for the tip 🌹

Picture 1

⋆ You'll be blessed with a love that feels like home or you'll give love and vulnerability a chance.

⋆ Home life will improve if you have been dealing with certain issues related to your house or where you live in the previous months. You'll be able to decorate your surroundings in the way you want and feel more grounded and in tune with your personal space. Any paper work etc will get sorted or finalized.

⋆ Harmony in friendships and making peace with the past. Even making ammends with someone.

⋆ Fated friendships and visits to places you've wanted to go to since a very long time perhaps since you were a kid, teen or young adult.

⋆ Picking up new creative hobbies that make you happy.

⋆ If you've been struggling with your self image, having any hair or skin issues etc you'll see gradual improvement.

⋆ Financial growth in any artistic or healing/nurturing venture/career. Improvement in finances in general.

Picture 2

⋆ Your patience will be rewarded. It will all pay off. While reading this you know exactly what I'm talking about, this could be one or multiple things. Just know that you no longer have to wait. If you know something is already done or is yours, you'll eitherway feel reassured about it, right?

⋆ Courage to leave your current place or situation and venture out. Discovering your life purpose and having fun along the way. You're ready for this adventure!

⋆ No longer being the lone wolf.

⋆ Inevitable changes and breakthroughs.

⋆ All the upheavels of the previous months are gone you can breathe now.

⋆ Power in your words and intentions, whatever you intend will manifest. For some, justice will also be served especially if you have been wronged repeatedly by someone despite the chances and benefit of doubt you've given them. Any legal matters will resolve as well.

⋆ Success in business venture, could be existing one or something you get into. You'll be attracting influential people as well. A new cycle of your life is starting, be excited but take care of your health.

Picture 3

⋆ Being unapologetic in your creative expression. You may have locked yourself away but you've also had enough. Fortune favours the brave.

⋆ Freeing yourself from a situation/place/relationship or even health issue that has been trapping you. You felt confined even severely depressed but you'll be overcoming that. This was a big hurdle on your path for quite some time, now you stand right on top of it.

⋆ Travel to desired destination or a message that paves the way to something significant.

⋆ Not having to prove yourself anymore.

⋆ Someone who tried to dull your shine will fall.

⋆ Possible relocation.

⋆ Making the right decision. Oftentimes a lot of stagnation comes with lack of clarity and not knowing what to do, having the right intuition that serves as a map is an underrated blessing and it will indeed be bestowed on you.

#free readings #tarot community #divination community #pick a card #pac #pile a pile #pick a pile tarot #pile a picture #psychics #psychic reading #spiritual community

322 notes · View notes

lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 1 year

Note

hi dear just wondering if you're taking request? If not then feel free to ignore me but I was wondering what or how would the yandere twisted wonderland boys react to a willing reader who actually finds there yandere tendencies hot and endearing and actually does not mind being locked up or the reader is just generally obsessed as they are with them hahaha sorry if it's to hard but if you find it uncomfortable then feel free to ignore me dear

Yandere-Obsessed | Yandere Twisted Wonderland x Reader

Malleus Draconia

“I will never let you leave my sights again!”

“Why would I ever?”

After nearly obliterating those he feels as though are a threat to your health

He snaps

With glowing green eyes, he refuses to let you go despite any protests you may have

But you have none

Immediately jumping into the near-dragon amalgamation’s arms as you lovingly rub your cheek against him

“I’m so happy, you feel the same!”

“Wait…does…this mean you purposefully orchestrated the incident?”

“Hehehe maybe?”

“...You love me as well?”

“Ohh Malleus I adore you!”

He’s near melting

You guys are the couple that sits in public places with hardly any space between you as your constantly looking into each other's eyes

Its a fight should anyone intervene

On both ends

Sebek’s reeling but he gains a whole lot of respect when you easily threaten his life

Malleus and you are in your own world

Most people don’t get killed only because you two are so focused on one another no one really penetrates your bubble

“My child of man it felt as if my heart was torn in two! I can breathe now that your in my arms again!”

“Oh Mal-Mal!”

Jack Howl

“W-wait (Y/n) i-its not what you think!”

“Really? It looks like that guy was suffocated to death and your burying him.”

“(Y/n)-”

“You can’t bury him yet until we remove any and all traces of you! See!? Your nail marks are a dead-giveaway!”

“Uh–”

“Here we should just burn this part that way no one will know!”

“T-thanks?”

“Of course, baby.”

He’s always felt guilty for the stuff he was doing in your name

But to see you his beloved, his mate assure him

Brings him an air of confidence

Now he knows that you acknowledge him and will even defend him

Like a true mate!

He’s so pleased he doesn’t have to fight you to accept him

Rather he’s fighting you from doing the same

It just makes him so embarrassed you care for him

“Love you don’t need to do away with the other contestants!”

“But look at your blush! You won’t mind it all that much you can step down from your high horse for me? Right?”

“...Fine b-but you promise to spend the rest of the night kissing me, right!?”

Idia Shroud

“Y-you knew I was watching? T-the whole time?!”

“Yup! I’m surprised you hardly noticed the ones I had on you!”

“W-what!?”

Any semblance of the love-obsessed mad scientist is diminished by your overwhelming display of love

He’s too busy reeling from that obsessed look you give him

He’s so easy to dominate from then on

Avidly obeying all your promises to terminate anyone who talks to him

All with a love-obsessed blush on his face

But even with your reciprocated love, he’ll eventually want for more

Whether he convinces himself you're faking it or that you are trying to outshine his love

He’s turning the tables on you

Coming up with something that will really blow your socks off

Something to show you he is the ultimate yandere in this relationship

“Darling, how clever you summoned the robots of S.T.Y.X to eliminate all your rivals. But believe me, I will do the same.”

“Hehe you misunderstand, muffin! They’re aren’t only here to eliminate my rivals but there also going to escort you to my love dungeon!”

“Love dungeon?”

“Yeah, how’s that for yandere!? I love you more than anyone even you can’t compete with me!”

Jamil Viper

“So if my suspicions are right you’ve been using snake whisper so that they’ll all stay away from me, right?”

“...”

“Don’t look so tense I wanted to thank you! And I wanted to ask if you noticed my own attempts to be noticed by you?”

“W-what?!”

He’s usually on top of it when it comes to knowing about you and hiding his feelings at the same time

But he completely skimmed over your various attempts to reciprocate his violent-obsessive tendencies

He’s reluctant to believe you

But when he does he’s falling even more in love

He plans to occupy all your time

And doesn’t mind when you start sleeping at Scarabia just to be closer to him

He loves it so much

He acts so much goofier because he’s falling in love all over again

“You better not be lying to me about this…”

“Trance me if you really want to know!”

“Maybe I will.”

1K notes · View notes

lilithgreye · 3 days

Text

Life Path 1

youngest souls (along with 3’s), leaders, masculine, athletic, argumentative/anger issues, must work hard and no shortcuts in life (unless there’s also an 8/28 in your birthday), tend to have very original ideas, good at bouncing back from the bottom, biggest goal should be becoming a leader in some way

Life Path 3

youngest souls (along with 1’s), child-like energy, strong communication skills, random but they usually have a good weight loss story, make the best lawyers, outgoing but if not they can socialize well when they need to, lots of friends (depending on other numbers), argumentative/know it all, funniest, most likely to be criminals, immature at times, witty, depending on other numbers will often have a youthful appearance/baby face, biggest goal should involve having an audience

Life Path 4

hard worker, must work hard for anything they want in life/things don’t come easy, disciplined, wealth number (only through hard work), always at the top of the music industry (ex: drake), best criminal justice workers (ex: detectives, cops), often obsessed with sex, obsessed with true crime, good at bouncing back from the bottom, biggest goal should involve finding work that they love

Life Path 5

most conventionally attractive, high sexual energy, health, change, travels a lot/must travel a lot to fulfill purpose, good at travel jobs (ex: pilot, flight attendant), often perverts, fun to be around, free spirited, need their freedom to be happy, doesn’t enjoy when people try to restrict them in any way or tie them down, good entertainers, unpredictable, second most likely to cheat, biggest goal should involve traveling the world

Life Path 6

best friends to have, nurturing, homebody, family oriented/makes good parent, depending on other numbers may struggle with weight, good cooks/bakers, most have a lower iq but a small percentage are genius’ depending on other numbers in their birthday, usually struggle with mental health, biggest goal should be having a family or a close friend group that supports them

Life Path 7

intelligence based on logic rather than emotions, usually one of the smartest people in the room, struggles with love, enjoys being alone, good with technology/at technological careers, prone to injuries/sickness more than other signs (depending on Vietnamese zodiac and other numbers), can be unfaithful romantically depending on other numbers, most likely to be homosexual, blunt, most likely to cheat, biggest goal should be mastering knowledge in one of their primary interests in life

Life Path 8

money motivated, karma comes quickly to you and the people who hurt you, ambitious, powerful individuals, underrated influential number, beauty is based on karma and unattractive 8’s will have bad past life karma but attractive one’s don’t (ex: tyla), weight is based on karma, workhorse, judgmental, experiences ups and downs with money but usually gains wealth when older unless there’s unresolved karma, doesn’t get away with dishonesty easily, good at bouncing back from the bottom, controlling, biggest goal should be making money and experiencing the material world

Life Path 9

most attractive number of extreme beauty if karma has been worked through (ex: madison beer, megan fox), strong feminine energy, spiritually connected, strong intuition, adapts well to surroundings, great performers/singers/rappers/entertainers, best actors (ex: timothee chalamet), best scammers, best manipulators, simps, egotistical, most challenging reincarnation (of the younger souls), addictive personalities, best at crypto, often have a rough childhood, good swimmers, have the ability to make others a better version of themself (except 11/22/33), unfortunately they’re often the most hated, hard life path for men to have but easy for women to have, 9’s tell you a lot about how you are, biggest goal in their life should involve feeling complete in life

Life Path 2/11

old soul, most emotional/empaths, feminine, best athletes, most likely to be famous, one of the 4 beauty numbers, strong charisma, inspiring, attracts copycats, peace maker, spiritual guider/messenger, one of the most challenging life path’s, at a low vibration can be emotionally unstable, talented writers/authors

Life Path 22

old soul, hard workers, good at building things in all aspects of life, good at destroying things in all aspects of life, strong build (body), the best at body building, great fitness trainers, wisest, good architects, at a low vibration can be violent, vengeful, one of the most challenging life path’s

Life Path 33

oldest soul, the most challenging life path you can have, most influential/impactful number, best teachers, soulmate is a 32/5, high vibration (people will always benefit from being around a 33), enlightenment, good therapists/counselors, big ego, matrix makes them suffer the most as this is their last reincarnation, you’ll rarely meet one that doesn’t smoke/drink/do drugs (if they don’t then they really know how to handle their vibration well), good at bouncing back from the bottom

#lifepath number #lifepath #numerology #matrix #numerology blog

149 notes · View notes

olittlestaro · 1 year

Text

Aries and where you are the most independent

×Please take into consideration that what i talk about in this post may be affected by your other placements and aspects×

Aries 1h-You are overall independent and have a strong sense of identity!You knew who you were from a very young age and your ideas and the way you present yourself are very unique.You got a pioneer spirit and might be a trend setter(without even knowing🤭).On a darker note,you might have been ostracized or even bullied growing up for your uniqueness and people tend to react in an agressive way to your ideas.

Aries 2h-You are financially independent(or will be)!But even as a child,you knew how to manage your money and things.You don't need somebody else to tell you your worth,as you have a lot of trust in yourself.You might also have a very unique voice that makes you stand out.The negative side here is that you don't know how to ask for help,be it money matters or a boost of confidence.You might also find that your values are very different from the ones of your peers.

Aries 3h-You are an independent thinker!You might also be an only child or the older sibling.On rare occasions,you might've grew up in a neightborhood where there weren't many children besides yourself.You are a very fast thinker and always come up with new ideas.The negative side is that you had a very different way of learning from your classmates and in class,you either felt bored or left behind.This placement also makes it hard for you to collaborate with other people and might indicate a dangerous or aggresive environment(school or neightborhood).

Aries 4h-You are independent from your family!In my opinion,its a pretty difficult placement to have,as you didn't grew up with a sense of unity in your family and no matter the circumstances its hard for you to truly feel like you belong.Might also indicate a violent childhood and family life,usually from the mother's part.On a brighter note,the independence you were taught in your childhood will help you later on in your adult life,as your already know your way around things.Also,you might find that you will create a "soul family" later on in life with people you care about,so don't lose hope,you are not alone!

Aries 5h-You are independent in your hobbies!You don't need other people to enjoy yourself and just like aries 3h,you might have been an only child.(For 18+)You don't mind the idea of quick flings and are a pretty adventurous person on this part.You might have had a few partners throughout your life.Allthough you are not really good at "being part of a team",you are very creative and are good at expressing yourself in a very unique way.The negative side here is that you often feel lonely when it comes to your interests,as not many people from your area share the same prefrences and skills as you,and others often feel the need to compete with you in any activity you do.

Aries 6h-You are independent in your daily routine!Even as a child,you were left to deal with things on your own,especially when it comes to health matters.You needed to learn how to schedule appointments and take care of yourself,all on your own.On the good side,your body is vey healthy and you are very intuitive when it comes to your needs.When it comes to your work environment,the people are competitive and often times,you are left on your own,not having many colleagues friends,but you are a very hard worker and its not hard for you to get a promotion if you really put your mind to it.Overall,its not hard for you to find motivation in your day-to-day life.

Aries 7h-You are independent in your relationships!Allthough your partnerships might suffer a lot because of that.You are not one to always think about love and relationships and are pretty happy on your own.Even tho this might make you a bit sellfish at times.Its pretty difficult for you to express your affection in relationships,and often tease your partners.Nonetheless,you are a very dedicated and protective lover and will always fight for love once you find it.Also,you might not really like the idea of "bussines partners" and you prefer to work by yourself.

Aries 8h-You are independent when it comes to your vulnerability!Not many people were there for you when you felt exausted or just needed a good cry,and that made you very closed off.This also made you hyper-independent in your romatic relationships and friendships.You were often left to deal with your "demons" on your own,and this made you pretty scared of your shadow side.When it comes to your shared resources,you might often find yourself as the provider in your relationships.(For 18+)Also,you might have a few kinks that you don't share with other people you know(BDSM,hair-pulling, scratching etc.)

Aries 9h-You are an independent learner!Your most important experiences and adventures are done by yourself.You didn't really had a lot of people to learn from when you were younger and had to teach yourself many things.Especially when it comes to your interests.Your belief-system was also formed based on this.You grew up thinking you NEED to be independent at all costs,and that made you a bit fickle as a person.You might also be/have been very independent in university or college,meaning you most probably had a job and payed for your things with your own money.If not,this was the time when your sense of independence was formed.

Aries 10h-You are independent in your career!And since this is the MC,you might also have a reputation of being independent.Your long-term goals don't usually include other people(so relationships are not one of your aspirations).Also,your career might require you to be independent.Another thing would be that your father taught you how to be independent(it depends on your relationship if in a healthy way or a neglectful way).

Aries 11h-You are independent in social groups!You will often find that your goals and dreams are different from those of your peers,and this means that the path you took to get to them was pretty lonely.You also find riots to be very important,as you often fight against the system.You have the power to reshape and change the world,but that will usually be done by yourself.Also,you are pretty independent from your friendgroups or any social community.You don't like to identify yourself as part of something and often this means that you have a lot of friends but never one main friend group.

Aries 12h-You are independent in your beliefs!Some themes here are pretty similar to those of aries 9h,as they are both Jupiter houses!You will find that your beliefs about spirituality,the afterlife and the way your subconcious works will be pretty different from the ones of other people and this will often put you in tense situations where you will have to fight for what you believe in,as you will be challenged a lot.On a darker note,you might live in a constant fight or flight mode and have mental health issues.Whenever a chapter of your life ends you will also feel pretty alone,and might have the tendency to retreat yourself.You are also scared to share your secrets with other people or rely on them for that matter,which further leads to your "i'm on my own,i need to be independent" attitude.You will also find that a lot of your dreams will have themes related to independence.

#Aries #astro notes #astrology notes #astrology #astrology observations #houses #Spotify

2K notes · View notes

lasirenatarot · 9 months

Text

💫🌟WHAT BLESSINGS ARE COMING YOUR WAY? 💫 timeless pick-a-card reading.

- SIDE NOTE: some days my intuition is craaaazy (today 23.07.2023 is one of those days😂), so I decided to do this very random reading. It may be disorganized and totally not resonating for some, but it may help others, as Im writing all that I get without a clear topic, so enjoyyy!!

Piles:

1->2

3->4

Photos: Magdalena Frackowiak for Harper’s Bazaar USA, september 2009

PILE 1

Okayy so possible blessings coming your way, those who chose pile 1:

Short term luck; possible salary raise/ bonus/ promotion; for some it may be a sum of money you didn’t have to work much for or somebody simply just gave to you, money you won from the lotery or gambling; giveaway wins; finding a banknote on the street; finding lost jewelry/items; for some it may be more sales of your products that certain month if you’re a business owner etc. - the main point is you will get sth bc of luck (money/present/item..), not much hard work.

More $€x, pl€asure, parties, celebrations (carefree times basically) coming your way.

You may go on a holiday where you celebrate sth, have pl€asurable experiences. All this may be after time in which you have been waiting on for a loooong time. Prior to that you may have been « isolating » yourself a bit so you can work on yourself, your mental health, cleanse yourself spiritually from bad energy you’ve had in you from the past & heal from sth.

Tip for this pile: don’t go into excesses; do everything in moderation - drinking,partying, $£x, don’t take unnecessary risks, don’t be greedy or careless with your money; going against that may lead to an unpleasant a-ddiction of some sort.

PILE 2

Hope after tough time. You may get good news about a situation you’ve been worried about; You may find a solution to a problem, the truth about sth which may later lead you to the solution..

Someone might have lied to you/ did you wrong, bc of that you felt like your « life » was falling apart but it was actually a blessing; Learning who was a fake person in your life and who was actually faithful was the blessing;

You will have new beginnings in your life- might be a new job/new relationship/new friends/even new home or area where you live;

some may start new important friendships, change in social circle is sth prominent in this pile; you might feel way more valued and happy in this new social circle;

Some might have found out about infidelities /lots of lies, which may be the reason for all these changes; the situation may look bad at first sight but it will free you from a burden that was never yours ro carry in the first place.

Changes might happen very quickly;

You will get on a new journey to find your true happiness

PILE 3

Okay the first thing I got may not resonate for many but if you’ve been wishing for a child/pregnancy, or to start a family, it may be coming soon.

Those who are not looking to start a family it may mean that you may have some carefree days coming ahead, you will live your life like a baby, without that much responsibilities;

Some may get some sort of inheritance;

Money

Moving to a new house;

A lot of you may cut ties with their past, get rid of their past bad habits, toxic people and situations; you have to leave your past experience behind in order to live your ‘dream’

A dream of yours you tought was impossible to get may come into fruition during this time you’re reading this/near future. You just have to be strong and keep the faith.

Love for many of you!!!!

You may get help from a female figure or your intuition on sth that is bothering you;

PILE 4

Healing;

GOOD HEALTH ( for me that is the biggest blessing that’s why I wrote it in all caps )

Huuuuuuuge changes in your love life!!!! I cannot stress this enough, so many signs here in the cards.

If you’re single, the love interest you meet might be VERY masculine, career oriented, might look cold on the outside (won’t be true when you get to know that person tho, they seem like a sweetheart, u just have to get them out of their shell..); might be a foreigner or you may simply meet them away from home/abroads;

Your « cup » will be overflowing with love and emotions, but you don’t have to lose yourself completely. Boundaries and everything in moderation are important things to have in relationships😄

If you were mistreated in previous relationships - you will get your justice.

Those who are in a relationship might get proposed to or move in together; become official if you haven’t already, sth like that => getting to the next level.

Glow up, confidence boost; end of melancholy;

You will get things you’ve even have not let yourself dream about bc it seemed delusional at the time, what u get will exceed all your expectations;

Off topic but, Pile 4, be careful of envy, gossips&lies. Get rid of your subconcious limitations.

As always, leave a comment if resonated & follow for more.

- La Sirena.💋

489 notes · View notes

astrologylunadream · 3 months

Text

Is this a healthy connection? 🤔⚠️✂️ (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hi it's Lunadream🖤 This will be a more honest reading, so keep in mind the messages will be straightforward regarding your person and there might be some harsh/sensitive subjects mentioned within these piles. We will see if they are healthy for you or not, remember that you come first always.🤗 hope you find your message⭐️

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🖤

Pile 1🔗

Pile 2🎞

Pile 3🫙

Pile 4🔦

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> ✂️

Pile 1🔗

Sign energy: Despair, Pluto, Innovation, Want, Closure, 12th house, Mars, Moon, Taurus, Leo,🪝🧨🎡👈

👤Your person's energy: This is someone in a tight situation right now, like things are crazy in this connection omg. A lot of negative thoughts and feelings especially about themselves, they want to change I'm hearing. Your person may not be happy with themselves right now, feeling out of place or not good enough.😞 Prominent signs are Pisces, Aries, Scorpio, Cancer, Taurus and Leo a lot of signs in there. They want closure so maybe something happened between you guys, it could have been the truth or someone said something. For some of you this person's mother figure could be involved, or they have a tense relationship with their mother or family. Maybe their family had a problem with you.🫢💥 They have chaotic emotions and find it hard to show how they are feeling. Some of you may feel obsessed with this person I'm hearing like you're hooked on them or they are hooked on you. I feel like your person is just like going in circles, they may make the same mistakes again and again. Yeah this person really isn't happy with themselves or this connection I'm hearing it's them not you.🥺🌧 Of course your person is really attractive mostly a higher level, their aura is magnetic and deep. They are intuitive and come up with many new ideas in their head. There is a lot of confusion surrounding your person, secrets and things gone unsaid. There is so much you guys don't know about eachother and what is going on.🤯🔍👤

🤔Are they healthy for you: Universe, Kabedon, Avoidance, Food, Sadness, Leo, 8th house, North node, 4th house, Lilith,🎎📱🏎🍫 Wow okay this is a lot to take in. So your person is definitely causing some pain for the both of you, things are just so deep and intense right now. You have such an intimate connection and it's a little stressful actually very stressful. There is just such a tense energy to you guys.😬😮‍💨 I feel like... the situation they have you in is just not the best for you I'm sorry. The universe is honestly saying you may not have a future with this person, like you should avoid them. They could be kind of pushing you to a corner in some way, like they are causing you to be stuck in a situation you shouldn't be.🫸This could be a cycle like hole you've been shoved in. For some of you this person is a narcissist or have those traits, they may not realize what they're putting you through or put you through.😔 You may feel comfortable or familiar with this person but a lot of times comfort isn't the healthiest in the end change is what you need especially in this situation. You have control over yourself or just walking away if you feel the need to, of course take what resonates but I feel like you shouldn't contact this person anymore.📵❌️ Leave them on read I'm hearing, the choice is yours to decide. There is symbolism here like you know when you have that chocolate and you may want to take a bite but you know it's bad for your health, you may feel it's much easier to have the candy when you're having a tough time but it is only gonna be bad for your health. This person is like the bar of chocolate. There is a vicious cycle from this person, I feel like it's something they can't really control. I'm getting that they really want to change and feel terrible about everything, it's causing them sadness and they would want you to be set free.😓❤️‍🩹

📞Messages from your person: I went too far, Right now, I want to keep this private, I hate when they act like they own you, I want to steal your kiss. (They may feel guilty about their feelings for you as it may not be the best for you.💔) Extra cards: Tight, Obsession, Blush, Innocence, Consume (This person is really into my pile 1's even to an unhealthy extent, but I feel like they hate themselves for it. Like they really want to hold on to you but they know deep down they should let go.😢😰)

Thank you my pile 1's. If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message.🖤

I hope you this reading provided clarity on your situation ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If it did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the chain emoji~🔗 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! Take care of yourself and see you in the next reading🫂

Pile 2🎞

Sign energy: Mutable, Mind, Skill, Suspicion, Fine, 6th house, Eros, 9th house, Virgo, Jupiter,🐙🎧🪄🦀

👤Your person's energy: This is a very bright and well rounded person. They have a really attractive mind lol the way their mind works may turn you on.😳❤️‍🔥 They're good at many things, may multitask well. (Especially with the octopus symbolism) I just heard magic worker, like they may be unbelievably good at a lot of things. Signs in their chart may be Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces but a lot of Sag/Virgo energy in here. Mutable signs may be significant so think Virgo, Gemini, Sagittarius, Pisces. They have a lot of hobbies, try out new things often.🚀⭐️ You may have certain suspicions about them, like jumping to conclusions and stuff. There is a lot you wonder about them, but they don't mind if you're suspicious of them for whatever reason. It doesn't bother them I'm getting. They just sort of shrug their shoulders, because to them they feel like they have nothing to hide.🤔🤚 This person is pretty talented and into a lot of different things. You may learn a lot from them, probably a good teacher too. A lot goes on in their mind, so many random thoughts lol.😂🧠💡 You may feel really attracted to the way they speak, listening to them carry a conversation. They do it well too, your person is really good at handling anything that's thrown at them. Improvising is one of their specialties. They can work with anything I'm hearing, maybe they have had many different jobs? Take what resonates, they seem like the type to job hop lol. Because they like testing themselves with new things.😎💫

🤔Are they healthy for you: Capricorn, Guidance, Innovation, Work, Unafraid, Scorpio, 10th house, 11th house, 12th house, 3rd house,🩲🧐💜⛪️ Okay so your person provides a lot for you guys, like this is a very beneficial connection for my pile 2's. They help you through your fears and setbacks, you may easily discuss your career plans with them. Maybe some of you share religion with eachother.🤝 I am definitely picking up on this being a healthy and successful relationship, there is a lot to learn from this person. They communicate new ideas and ambitions with you, dreams and desires that seem out of reach will seem much more achievable with the help of this person.✨️💡 I just love the nature of this connection, it's so helpful and reliable. They will help you through tough times and things that may scare you. You will feel successful with this person. If this is a friendship it is definitely a healthy one, a wonderful companionship. You two would also make great business partners take what resonates.💼 For those that this is a romantic connection they definitely teach you a lot, intimacy may bring you a new perspective and will be very successful. I feel like you guys just work together. (maybe some of you are actual coworkers with this person haha😂) There is just so much provided with this person, a bright and uplifting relationship. They will help keep you focused on what you really want and get it. You will no longer be afraid of failure with this person, and they will help you accept it and move on to greater things.😊🏆

📞Messages from your person: Ever heard, There's people who want to hurt you, I want to be your ex, You let me, You're too pretty to be sad. (They won't have you feeling down at any point, they wanna help you pick yourself up and keep going!🌟) Extra cards: Sensitivity, Routine, Bite, Disturbance, Swim (Some spicy messages too so interpret that any way you'd like😏❤️‍🔥)

Thank you my pile 2's. If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message.🖤

I hope you this reading provided clarity on your situation ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If it did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the film emoji~🎞 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! Take care of yourself and see you in the next reading🫂

Pile 3🫙

Sign energy: Soul, Lilith, Mouth, Lose, Treasure, Earth, 5th house, Neptune, South node, Pluto,🔍🕹🏚🆕️

👤Your person's energy: This person has an attractive demeanor, I sense a lot of people are curious about them. They like to play around and have fun, indulging in some bad behavior even.🙊❗️ Prominent signs are Leo, Pisces, and Scorpio. Earth energy is present. Some of you may have a past with this person, you lost them or they lost you. Someone feels like they let go of a prize, I'm feeling regret from that person. Your person is mysterious and alluring, they have a dark soul.😈🖤 They tend to want a lot of power in relationships, they may date around or that's something they wish to do. They like finding new things to entertain themselves, taboo hobbies are possible. Indulging in spirituality or shadow work even. Your person has a magnetic presence about them, and so many charms😫❤️‍🔥 Their mouth may be a prominent feature that draws attention, you probably fantasize about it too🙈 I'm getting siren vibes from your person, they just draw you in mysteriously. Captivating looks and aura. They can be very playful and fun, they seek pleasure at all times. Definitely don't like being bored, they hate it.😂 But your person is actually really observant, they look into things. Very mindful and curious. I feel like they enjoy placing bets, maybe you lost to them at something? That could be something that happens between you two.

🤔Are they healthy for you: Valentine, Lose, Comfort zone, Care, Self reflection, Neptune, Venus, Taurus, Eros, 6th house,👿🫗🗯💔 So you may see this person through rose colored lenses instead of the full picture. You look over the realistic version of them and only see them as the old them or the version you're used to.😟🪞 I feel like this person teaches you self love in some way, maybe you had to go through a lot to finally love yourself. You are more vulnerable in the relationship, as your person has the upper hand. They may hold things over you like you owe them or guilt tripping you.🙏🥺 Yes you may feel really attracted to this person but you need to ask yourself if they are a good person or not. Think about the way they treat you or others. They may not be out for your best interest, ulterior motives may also be present.🤨 The advice is for you to let go of what you're comfortable with and shift your perspective, you may feel used to thinking they are the one and that you love them. But maybe you are making yourself believe what was only true in the past.⏳️ Everyone changes and so does this connection, your person may want to do things you aren't comfortable with and if so say no!❌️ You come first, don't let anyone push you to do things that aren't good for you. The advice is for you to focus on your well-being and self care, don't let others manipulate you with love or anything else to get their way. If you set clear boundaries you can make your relationships healthy and safe. Don't be blinded by others words that could be lies.✋️✂️ That may not be this person but other people in your life, take what resonates.

📞Messages from your person: This is all my fault, There's distance between us, Close your eyes, I know you, Keep going. (Your person wants you to stay strong, and find worth and respect in yourself because you don't deserve to be treated unkindly💓) Extra cards: Meant to be, Aura, Consume, Warm, Play

Thank you my pile 3's. If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message.🖤

I hope you this reading provided clarity on your situation ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If it did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the empty jar emoji~🫙 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! Take care of yourself and see you in the next reading🫂

Pile 4🔦

Sign energy: Play, Defensive, Pluto, 7th house, Community, 8th house, 5th house, Mercury, Air, 6th house,🍓🗞🍑👆

👤Your person's energy: Lol so the first thing that came up is that your person is more plump, they may get a lot of attention to their behind😂 Main energies are Scorpio, Libra, Virgo, Gemini, and Leo. People talk and think about this person a lot, they may have a crucial role in their circle of people. They contribute a lot I'm hearing, so much news I'm hearing "talk of the town". For some of you this person made the news take what resonates. I feel like this person is good at acting maybe it's their calling.🎭✨️ They may have a sweet smell to them, and often wear a nice perfume/cologne. People may talk behind their backs a lot, so they have their guard up. Your person may be more closed off or defensive, they don't want to openly trust those who could be out to get them. They may have a nice behind or that's something attractive about them😂😂 If they're working I feel like their coworkers are on the toxic side tbh. They are all up in everyone's gossip, some people talking really good about them and others talking trash😱 But I feel like they've been really sweet to some of you guys, take what resonates. They're a very attractive person overall people may secretly be kinda obsessed with them🫢 A lot of people are actually romantically interested in this person but like I feel like they hide it. Your person is good at coming up with solutions and ideas, very helpful I'm hearing.

🤔Are they healthy for you: Cutie, Control freak, Shoes, Universe, Reckless, Neptune, 8th house, Earth, Moon, 12th house,👨‍🍳🩻🪫🫰 So your person is a little clingy in some way, maybe they tend to depend on you with things. I feel like pile 4 is smart though like you see through this person and their intentions, you may be seeing a power struggle between the two of you. There is a lot of daydreaming and avoidance of reality in this connection, omg for some of you this person has a problem with substance abuse only some!!😭 I'm seeing ways to detach themselves so any kind of coping for that, escapism may be an issue here in the relationship.💭 To you this person may feel very distant right now, like physical/emotional distance take what resonates for you, something feels out of touch. Like it feels like there's nothing you can do, you feel helpless in this connection.😞🔧Also this person drains a lot of your energy and emotions that is a message the universe wants you to be aware of. Now your person definitely has some unhealthy fantasies that they shouldn't act on, it feels like the relationship itself isn't necessarily unhealthy but rather the desires for it are unhealthy. Soo your person is a little bit of a freak😂 They may want to do a lot of bad things with you even hurtful to themselves or you. Just be careful that you or your person aren't going off the deep end with the intimate side of things.🔪👿😬 I can see that going to a dark place if they don't get control of their wild fantasies. Yeah so your person takes a lot from you mentally, emotionally even physically for some of you. This connection is a very draining one and it takes a lot from both of you. Maybe that is the unhealthy part is how consuming this connection can be for you two. I get the vibe you both are still young and reckless in some way, and if this relationship is a mature one and both parties are responsible it can definitely be a healthy one.🤗💌

📞Messages from your person: Don't be sad, I was wrong, You might get scared, Something is pulling us together, Tell me what's bothering you. (Yeah okay so you may be shocked with how much of a freak your person is lol maybe you've seen this side of them but like it is intense wtf🤯) Extra cards: Achievement, Read, Body, Music, Tea (I am getting a sense that this person does really care about you tho. There is a deep desire to be with you guys my pile 4's, I think they're willing to work on themselves and this connection for that♡)

Thank you my pile 4's. If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message.🖤

I hope you this reading provided clarity on your situation ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If it did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the flashlight emoji~🔦 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! Take care of yourself and see you in the next reading🫂

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

223 notes · View notes

maxidentscene · 2 years

Text

little things you did to make them big softies

⚘ genre. fluff

⚘ members. ot8

chan appreciates the way you care for him when he cries

It’s hard, doing what he has to do. The responsibility is a lot and some days that’s just hard to hide. You only continue sipping on your drink and watching the dumb cartoon on tv as Chan sniffles beside you

He watches you get up, shooting you a sad smile when you toss a box of tissues his way. He expected you to pry, to point out that he’s being vulnerable, to ask him why he’s crying like other people would

But you don’t. You sit there, cuddling into his side as it shakes, scraping your nails against his stomach softly in a way that can tell him that you’re right there

“Don’t you wanna know?” He asks with a crack in his voice, dabbing the corners of his eyes with the tissues and figuring you may at least want an explanation

Your simple answer of ‘no’ sends a frenzy of butterflies off in his stomach, hearts practically in his eyes as he looks down at you, silently thanking you in his head for letting him be the happy and sad sides of himself with you

lee know puts his claws away whenever you warm up a towel for him after his showers

It’s extremely simple, maybe as simple as it could get yet it speaks volumes. You find it as second nature by now to throw a towel in the dryer for a few minutes so that it’s nice and warm for Minho after a shower or lower body bath

Not a lot of things can make him soft, it takes some digging but this is one of the things that really make the tips of his ears turn bright red. It’s endearing, your thoughtfulness is something that he’s never experienced from anyone else before and it feels so good

“How was your shower?” You’re quick to hop onto the bed next to him where he’s sitting, towel now around his neck to catch the droplets from his damp hair. He mindlessly pulls you into his side, keeping his hand at your hip as he watches the tv

“Good,” he mumbles so low it’s almost unheard, but you smile nonetheless, pleased with his answer. “You…” he’s finding the words to say, nervousness making him bite his lip, eyes looking at the ceiling as he thinks. “You don’t have to warm up my towels if you don’t want to.”

You only roll your eyes, resting your head on his shoulder. “Don’t lie to my face like that,” you tease, not surprised to hear him make a sound of disapproval. “You love it. You love it so much that I just have to keep doing it.”

changbin physically can’t hide how much he adores you when you massage his body after a workout

Exercise can be hard on the body depending on what you’re doing and it’s always better to care for the muscles before and after hard work. Knowing this, you’re always more than happy to meet Changbin after a shower and have him lay out for you

“Don’t you ever get tired of this?” He peers at you behind his shoulder, enjoying the feeling of you kneading his shoulders and back. You stop suddenly and land a soft smack on his side

“Get tired of what?” You ask with a defensive tone, moving down to massage his hips, working out all of the tension that the exercise brought on. “Taking care of you?”

He can’t win, so he won’t try. Instead he brushes the topic off, pushing his face into the pillow in front of him to hide the lovesick smile plastered on his face. Sure, it will never be admitted, but he loves this. He looks forward to this

It’s so touching that you worry about his health to this extent, enough to help him ease the post workout knots and soreness. You were a gem, you were an angel in his eyes and he’s forever grateful to be under your care

hyunjin melts while looking at the newly bought pencils that he’s been wanting for ages on his desk

He had to do a double take, pinching himself just to make sure it wasn’t a dream. Were those what he thought they were? Where did they come from?

Of course, he could’ve gotten them for himself, but you knew he wasn’t going to. Hyunjin hadn’t gone a single day for the past week without gushing over a specific pack of pencils he discovered on YouTube, eyes glittering as he watched them in use

“Oh! You don’t like them?” You joked as you walked up beside him, wrapping your arm around his. He jumped and tripped over his words, explaining that he loves them, that he loves you and you could only laugh. “Gosh, not even a thank you?”

He stopped rambling altogether, standing still and absolutely dumbfounded, his body suddenly becoming all warm and fuzzy. It was hard to hold back his smile, so he didn’t

“You’re insane,” he was on cloud nine, he felt that he could laugh so hard that he’d faint, the happiness that you gave him was irreplaceable and he loved that

han finds himself at a loss of words when you pull all nighters with him

With his schedule and just his sleep patterns in general, he often finds himself up at later times than he’d like. Whether it be by personal choice or work, he’s going to sleep sometime in the early morning

This already takes a bit of a toll on him because while he’s awake, everyone else around him is asleep or busy with their own things. It leaves him alone, which can be both a good or bad thing for him depending on the day

Not you though. You know how he feels, you know when he needs someone else with him in the late hours of the night, so you try your absolute hardest to stay up with him, which could be easy or hard for you

Either way, he finds it totally endearing. “I wish you’d stop sacrificing your beauty sleep for me,” he laughs at his own words, facing you on the bed and stroking your cheek with his fingers. “Don’t harm yourself on my behalf.”

You only shake your head, going back to the game on your phone, tilting it to the side so he could watch it too. “It just means we get to spend more time together.” Those words made his heart swell and his smile brighter

felix felt his eyes sting when you cooked up one of his family’s recipes

It’s no secret that he’s homesick, it breaks your heart to watch him smile fondly at family social media posts and listen to all of his fun memories in Australia. You have the unbearable urge to help ease the pain just a little

That being said, you’re thrilled once his mother responds to you, sending over one of his favorite homemade recipes because you asked. Tonight would be a special dinner

You had waited until he left for the day to start preparing, getting to work and following carefully step by step. It wouldn’t be hers but you hoped it could feel like a comforting hug from home when he ate it

“Wow,” he was rendered speechless, dropping his bag right where he stood in the doorframe, shock washing over him at the smell alone. He looked at you all teary eyed and you almost cried yourself. “This is what you’ve been doing all day? For me? Really?”

Felix’s arms wrapped you up in the biggest hug, you could feel his tears wet your shoulder but you didn’t say anything. He knew right then and there that he really did love you with his entire, gigantic heart

seungmin gets so flustered when you send compliments via text

On one hand, he would much prefer to hear your kind words in real life but his schedule doesn’t allow time for that. He finds it hard to spend actual quality time with you, even if that’s all he wants

But to receive constant words of encouragement and praise? You go out of your way to remind him why you love him, why you think he’s so so special every single day and it makes his heart flutter in his chest with every notification

Looking back through your texts is one of his favorite pastimes when he’s away from you. “I saw your performance, your voice just keeps getting better and better!” This isn’t something to boost his ego, this is something you’re saying from your heart to let him know that he’s doing good

It hurts him that he has to resort to social media to spend time with you lately, he’s only hoping to spend so much time with you when things are calmer. Seungmin will always accept your feedback with open arms and he can’t help but fall for you, managing to make him feel loved even if he’s countries away from you

Someday, he’ll be able to repay you for all of the strength your little messages have given him. There will never be a time where you’ll feel that the relationship is one sided and that’s a promise he’s made with himself

jeongin has a bit of a bigger smile when he finds out you tidied up his room for him

He’s not disgustingly unorganized, there are just a few things that could be put where they belong and his bed is almost always at least a little messy. It’s all an easy fix, and you’re more than happy to take care of it while he’s out with his busy agenda

You already figured that it would be nice for Jeongin to come back to a nice and cleaner environment after another long day, but you didn’t pinpoint just how much it meant to him

He felt so much love for you as he walked in and saw a freshly made bed for him to rest in, clothes back in their drawers, dust cleared off of the picture frame holding a candid of you two. You left a sticky note on his dresser, telling him that you’ll visit again in a few days

You picked up the call he made to you seconds later, ready to ask about his day. “You have no idea how much I love you,” his voice sounds a little shaky yet full of sentiment. “This was really nice to come home to.”

Nothing made you happier than knowing that you made your boy feel better, especially after a rough day. It was just a little fixing up but it meant the world to him

#bang chan x reader #chan x reader #lee know x reader #minho x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader #han x reader #jisung x reader #felix x reader #seungmin x reader #i.n x reader #jeongin x reader #skz comfort #skz headcannons #skz fluff #skz x reader

3K notes · View notes

lavendercharm · 2 months

Text

Linger, Chapter 5: Kiss With A Fist/Human Nature

A/N:

Ya'll. Writing this chapter felt like a marathon. But I think I'm ultimately very happy with it. Please let me know what you think!

This chapter is a bit longer, and I think it deserved to be named after two songs because of that. "Kiss With A Fist" by Florence + The Machine definitely fits the first half of this chapter and was one of the first songs I added to my playlist when writing this story, so I knew I wanted to use it for the big public confrontation.

The vibes toward the end are different. I discovered this song earlier this week and haven't been able to stop listening to it, so maybe I'm just reaching to try and justify including it lol. But "Human Nature" by Barrie is what I decided to use for the second half of this. Cause they're spitting facts when they say "Human nature doesn't always come easy" lmfao.

This is far from the end of this story, but it may be a second before you hear from me, depending on how busy the next few weeks are. I say that - watch me turn around and post something this weekend lol.

Thank you to everyone who's stuck with me thus far. I love you and I'm so grateful to know you're along for the ride.

---

Summary: From the moment you meet her, you can't stand Melissa Schemmenti.

Warnings: Strong Language

---

Barbara Howard did not take days off. It was only recently that she allowed herself her first mental health day, and while she could see the benefits, she had been eager to get back to her classroom, her students, her best friend, and even her coworkers. The life of a teacher was unpredictable, and the life of a teacher at Abbott Elementary came with its own unique set of challenges, but Barbara had seen a lot in her decades of teaching. With some hard work, support from her fellow teachers, and the grace of God himself, she had seen and survived it all. Barbara Howard could conquer anything thrown her way.

However, if Barbara had the magical gift of foresight, she might have chosen Monday morning to take her second mental health day in her entire history at Abbott.

As it was, Barbara could not see into the future, and so she entered the teacher’s lounge at 6:30 AM, on the dot. She claimed her usual spot, made herself a cup of coffee, and began sorting through her lesson plans for the week. She enjoyed her few moments of serenity in the lounge prior to the arrival of her more talkative coworkers. It wasn’t unusual for Melissa to arrive a bit later, especially on a Monday, so Barbara thought nothing of her absence. She politely greeted Janine and Jacob as they entered together; she did the same for Gregory shortly after. As the three younger teachers gathered at their table and discussed their weekends, Barbara continued her work, occasionally reacting to what she overheard. And when you entered the lounge, your first time visiting in the morning, Barbara was mildly surprised, but she shot you a warm smile all the same. She noticed you seemed to be a bit tense, but she chalked it up to the fact that you were still very new.

Melissa had talked her ear off about you last Monday, of course, explaining your tardiness and the shots you’d taken at her about her age. When Barb pressed her for details about your confrontation and what you’d said to each other, she simply said, “I took care of business, a’right?”

While Barbara agreed it was unprofessional of you to arrive late, she also knew Melissa better than anyone else in Abbott did; she knew Melissa could take things too far. Melissa was as passionate as they came, which meant she was one of the best teachers at the school. On the flip side, she also had a short fuse. Barbara knew she didn’t have all of the details, but she didn’t think much of it - you were a sub, after all. She expected she’d never actually meet you.

So when you arrived in the lounge for lunch the day after your explosive argument, she was shocked. While skeptical of you, she couldn’t help but admire your tenacity. You’d come face to face with the wrath of Melissa Schemmenti and still returned to Abbott. You’d introduced yourself, and as far as Barbara could tell, you were perfectly polite and well mannered. The displeasure and hostility radiating off of Melissa was felt by everyone in the lounge, but aside from giving her close friend a pointed look, Barbara chose to ignore it.

You’d continued showing up the rest of the week, greeting Barbara every day before taking a seat with Janine and Jacob, as well as Gregory, occasionally. The younger teachers seemed to have taken an instant liking to you, the four of you sharing stories from previous schools or discussing the latest movie releases. You’d even had a good-natured exchange with Ava one morning. The principal had leant against the corner with her phone and talked you through her “roster”, whatever that meant. Barbara was sure she didn’t want to know.

Barbara observed how seamlessly you integrated into Abbott’s social circles - with the obvious exception of the red head who always sat to her right in the lounge. Melissa pretended you didn't exist, which would have been fine if it wasn’t the elephant in the room. Your first day in the lounge, Janine had tried to talk to Melissa about you. She’d turned to Melissa with a huge grin on her face and said, “Man, Melissa, you’re so lucky to have such an awesome sub as your aide.”

Melissa had glanced at Janine over the rim of her cat-eye glasses, and in a sharp tone, retorted, “What sub?” That’s all it took for everyone in the room to grasp her unspoken message: If you value your life, drop it. The only reaction Barbara saw was a sharp flash of your eyes before you turned your back to the older woman and called Janine over, changing the subject.

But last Friday, Melissa caught up with Barbara after the school day ended and explained that you’d just given her two VIP tickets to the Eagles game on Sunday. If there was anything that would help Melissa forgive your transgressions, it was that. Once again, Barbara found herself impressed with you - you took the initiative to make amends and you’d knocked it out of the park. She was happy for her friend. She’d told Melissa, “Just think of how much you’ll be able to accomplish now that you and that young woman can work together. Now, you and Gary go enjoy that ball game.”

A week after your first morning at Abbott, all of the water was seemingly under the bridge, and the staff room could breathe easy again. No one paid much mind to the anxiety radiating off of you. For the most part, the energy in the room was calming as the day began.

The sudden CRACK of the door slamming into the shelves violently ripped the room’s occupants out of their morning zen. It was enough to cause everyone to nearly jump out of their skin. Heads whipped in the direction of the doorway as Melissa’s furious form charged into the lounge. Her attention was initially on Barb, but as she opened her mouth to speak, her eyes locked on you. The blush of fury rose instantly in her cheeks. She ripped her bag off of her shoulder and tossed it in the direction of her regular table, nearly hitting Barbara in the process, and as her eyes narrowed, you could practically see the steam rolling off of her as she hissed out, “You.”

And that’s when Barbara knew any chance of a peaceful morning had gone out the window.

—----------------------

As your weekend began, it didn’t take long for it to sink in that you were well and truly fucked. You completely failed to consider the consequences of your little scheme. There’s no way in hell Melissa wouldn’t be out for blood at the start of the next school week. The smartest thing to do would be to never return to Abbott, move to a new city across the country, and change your legal name. You went back and forth between chastising yourself for being ridiculous, and being so ridden with anxiety that you couldn’t eat. You felt so stupid - what did you think would happen?

Ultimately, you reached a point where you couldn’t handle the crushing weight of what you’d done alone, so you’d spilled to Ava. Her response had been about the least reassuring thing she could have said.

You did WHAT? I didn’t know you were crazy like that! You’re gonna die girl. I’m not even joking. We gotta go out this weekend, cause it’s your last one alive. I’ll make sure you have fun tho. Do you own any latex?

After refusing Ava’s offers to make your last days on earth worthwhile, you spent most of the weekend drowning in anxiety and imagining how Melissa would bring about your demise. You decided you had to do your best to prepare. You literally couldn’t afford to not go back to Abbott, especially after getting your headlights repaired Saturday afternoon. Under the anxiety, you could feel the ember of your rage, still pulsing with a red-hot glow, so you decided to grasp ahold of it. What you’d done was shitty, sure. But compared to smashing headlights? All you’d done was get even.

Seeing as you couldn’t afford to uproot your whole life and leave Philadelphia, the next most logical thing to do was to never be caught alone in a room with Melissa ever again. You were pretty sure this was something you could pull off - you figured you had two weeks left at Abbott tops, and as long as you had kids or other teachers in the same room, you would have witnesses who could recount your violent death should Melissa murder you.

This is what caused you to arrive at Abbott on Monday morning a full hour and a half before you needed to be there. You’d dithered in your car for about fifteen minutes, debating driving away and then talking yourself out of it. Eventually, you braved the outdoors, darting into the building and down the hallways as quickly as you could. You practically sprinted past Melissa’s classroom door - the lights were out, but even though you logically knew she wasn’t in yet, your mind conjured a vivid image of her jumping out of the shadows like a monster in waiting. You slowed down and tried to control your breathing as you entered the teacher’s lounge, and you were immediately soothed to see how many people were already there. Even better, Melissa was absent.

As you passed Barbara, you gave her a hesitant smile. You actually liked Barbara, as much as you can like someone who’s polite and whom you don’t know very well. You figured it may be the last chance you get - surely the woman would turn against you once Melissa told her what you’d done. Janine, Jacob, and Gregory were all sitting at your usual table, and after preparing your morning coffee, you quickly situated yourself in a seat, thankfully facing the door to the lounge.

“Hey!” Janine said, shooting you her adorable, slightly gapped-toothed smile. “How was your weekend?”

“Oh, uh… it was fine,” you said, your eyes darting toward the door as it opened. Not Melissa . “Mostly caught up on chores… had to get some work done to my car, fun stuff like that.”

“Car problems are tough,” Gregory said, spooning a bite out of his bowl of plain oatmeal. “What was wrong with it?”

“Uh…” you hesitated, unsure if you wanted to share what was really wrong. It would inevitably lead to questions and the last thing you wanted was for everyone to know the details of your feud. It was one thing for everyone to know Melissa didn’t like you - there were very few people Melissa actually liked in general. But it was another entirely for them to know she’d smashed out your headlights. Something generic - a bad alternator, maybe - would suffice.

You didn’t even get the chance to lie.

Despite the fact that you could see the doorway, the resounding SMACK of the door slamming open still made you jump. Before your brain knew what it was processing, in stormed Melissa Schemmenti, thick heels clacking on the linoleum tiles. She wore a form fitting pink sweater, the neckline questionably appropriate, and skin tight black pants. Her saint necklaces shimmered from their home on her collarbones. You supposed she wanted to look hot when she killed you.

It only took a moment for her eyes to lock on you, and in that moment you knew things were about to get ugly. To your surprise, seeing the flustered state she was in created a feeling of immense satisfaction. She was furious because your plan had worked. You didn’t even fight the smile that began to find its way onto your lips. The anxiety wasn’t gone, but you relished in the triumphant feeling of landing a critical hit.

“ You,” she hisses, tossing her bag from her shoulder. The tension in the air was thick enough to be cut with a knife.

Your eyebrows shoot up, feigned ignorance in your voice as you point at yourself and respond, “Who, me?”

She starts toward you, and everyone else at your table scatters. You’re shocked to see Janine step in front of you, her hands up placatingly. “Melissa-”

“Shut it, pipsqueak, and get out of my way ,” she growls, her gaze over Janine’s head burning holes in you.

“Hey!” You spit out, anger spiking and crowding out your anxiety. You’re suddenly standing. “Don’t call her that!”

Janine turns to you, holding a hand in your direction now too. “It’s fine, she calls me that all the time-”

“It’s not fine!” You shout, fists balled. Your eyes are glued to Melissa’s. “You think you can say and do whatever you want because no one will stand up to you. Well, I’m not going to put up with it!”

“Oh my god, please stop this. I will never psychologically recover from seeing your dead body,” Jacob pleads, wedged between the corner of the room and the fridge for cover.

“Can’t believe I was dumb enough to trust ya,” Melissa growls. “And after all that bullshit about ‘olive branches' and bein’ cordial.”

You smirk. “Oh, right! How was the game?”

Melissa starts forward again and Janine has to physically hold her back. She’s shockingly effective in spite of her small stature.

“Ya know I didn’t get into the game! Gary and I went all the way to the stadium, but you gave me fake tickets! We wasted our whole afternoon and got harassed by security!” she shouts.

“So what are you gonna do about it? Beat me up? Call the cops on me?” you challenge.

A deeply offended look crosses Melissa’s face as her jaw drops. “Are you callin’ me a snitch?” she snarls. She surges against Janine one more time, who manages to keep her back again. “That’s low, even for you!” Melissa says nastily over Janine’s shoulder.

“Oh, that’s low?” You ask incredulously. “Low like smashing someone’s headlights out?” There’s an audible gasp from Jacob in the corner, and you feel the heat of everyone’s gaze turn from you to Melissa, the whole room enthralled by your verbal tennis match.

Melissa glances around her before pointing an accusatory finger at you. “Ya can’t prove that was me!” You thought someone would have to have been born yesterday to believe that; anyone who worked at Abbott knew that’s exactly something Melissa would do.

“Oh yeah, because everyone else here keeps a bat taped under their desk like a neurotic asshole!” you proclaim, throwing your hands up in the air.

“I’ll show you ya stronza- ” Melissa hisses, pushing past Janine and beginning to reach for you. Your arms come up to instinctively protect your face, but before she can reach you, a figure closer to your height blocks your vision.

“THAT IS ENOUGH!” Barbara Howard bellows. The whole room comes to a standstill, frozen in time. Even Melissa has been stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide in shock as Barbara looks accusingly between the two of you. You feel immediately ashamed. “Are you both not grown adults? I cannot believe the absolute foolishness I’ve just witnessed!” She rounds on Melissa. “Especially from you!”

“Barb, she-” Melissa starts.

“I don’t care if she insulted your cooking to your face, you do not behave like catty teenagers! We are professional, grown people! Acting like this in front of your peers? Disgraceful! ”

She rounds on you, her eyes narrowing. “And you. To think that I was beginning to think highly of you. You went to all that trouble to make fake football tickets, just to get back at Melissa? Have you ever heard the phrase ‘An eye for an eye’ ?”

The pit of shame in your stomach is sickening as you slowly lower your arms, your eyes unable to meet Barbara’s. Feeling like a petulant child, you couldn’t help but mutter, “She started it.”

“And now I’m ending it!” Barbara yells. You feel her grip the sleeve of your sweater and pull. You stumble after, seeing her grasp Melissa as well. “You are both coming with me!” The rest of the lounge doesn’t move a muscle as Barbara Howard physically drags you into the hallway.

She marches with both of you in tow, Melissa sending you the nastiest glares she can muster from the other side of her friend. Stopping in front of a classroom full of bright colors and tiny chairs, Barbara turns to both of you. “This has gotten completely out of hand! You are both going to sit in my room and we are going to work through this. I don’t care if it takes all day - you will NOT be allowed out until you can act like civilized adults!” She folds her arms and gestures her head forward. You stare back for a moment, thinking she must be joking, but the woman doesn’t budge. After a moment longer, you enter the classroom. You’re followed closely by Melissa, who stalks to the other end of the room.

Barbara closes her door and pulls down the window blind. She turns to you both, her eyes closed and her shoulders rising in deep, even breaths. Eventually, she opens her eyes, and commands, “Take a seat.”

You glance around and only see chairs for children. You begin to protest, but the look on Barbara’s face prompts you to simply grab the nearest chair and plant yourself in it. Your knees are comically close to your chest and you don’t know where to put your hands. You settle on resting them on top of your knees. Melissa is pacing back and forth, muttering to herself - you guess she gets to ignore Barbara’s request.

“Now,” Barbara begins. “We are going to talk out your problems so we can put this whole mess behind us. Your students deserve you at your best, and you cannot be your best when you’re at each other’s throats!” She’s stern, chastising, and you feel ridiculous. “Where did all of this animosity start? Why are you angry with Melissa?”

You can’t help but scoff because the answer should be obvious. Barbara presses her lips together in annoyance and you quickly reply, “Well, where do I begin? Aside from smashing my headlights out, she’s done nothing but disrespect me since I stepped foot in her room. She was insulting me before she even learned my name!”

“I never learned your name,” she pipes up spitefully, and you whip your head around to glare at her.

“Memory not as good as it used to be?” you retort. A muscle in her jaw jumps out as she clenches her jaw, her face coloring once more.

Before she has a chance to rip into you again, Barbara cuts you both off with a stern, “Knock it off!” She looks exasperatedly between the two of you before pinching the bridge of her nose. “The Lord is testing me today,” she whispers to herself, shaking her head. She turns her attention to the fiery woman across the room. “Melissa?”

Melissa comes to a stop, planting herself and leaning her weight onto one hip. She rolls her eyes, gesticulating wildly as she speaks. “If we’re goin’ back to the start, then first things first, she strolled into my class thirty minutes late. Didn’t even have the decency to apologize.”

“You didn’t give me a chance to!” you protest. “I hadn't even stepped into the room before you were criticizing me. It’s not like I did it on purpose, it was a complete and total accident. And then you started insulting how young and inexperienced I look.”

“I was just givin’ you a hard time, that’s all,” she says indignantly. “How was I suppose ta know you can’t take a joke?”

Your head whips toward her. “And smashing my headlights? Was that a joke?” you retort incredulously.

Her eyes narrow and her tone is venomous as she hisses, “Nah, that was for throwin’ away my school supplies, stealin’ lunches, and callin’ me a bitch.”

You hear Barbara’s sharp inhale and jump to defend yourself. “Those supplies were all broken or unusable! You have so much on your hands with two classes and I was just trying to help you. Also, Janine gave me that lasagna because I forgot my lunch, I didn’t steal anything. You wouldn’t give me a chance to explain myself before jumping down my throat. Not to mention calling me degrading names in Italian!”

Barbara raises an eyebrow and gives Melissa a knowing glance. “Melissa uses gabbortz quite often, it’s nothing to get offended over,” she says, an attempt to reassure you.

Melissa’s eyes dart to Barbara’s as she huffs, “Uh, it’s gabbadost , Barb. And I mighta used somethin’ more… vulgar.” To your disbelief, the red head practically looks sheepish at this admission. Her arms cross in front of her as she shifts her weight, and your eyes are drawn to how the motion causes her cleavage to swell ever so slightly. Feeling heat flood your cheeks, you dart your eyes all over the room, attempting to find something else to fix them on. Luckily, neither woman seems to notice. Barbara’s eyebrows are furrowed in an inquisitive way that suggests she’s waiting for the shorter woman to elaborate. Melissa lets out a puff of air. “I mighta used the ‘P’ word, a’right?”

Barbara’s eyes widen as her mouth drops open in a gasp. “The ‘P’ word? Melissa Schemmenti, you don’t mean-”

“Yeah, yeah, the one I save exclusively for Kristin Marie. That ‘P’ word.” You don’t know who Kristin Marie is, but Barbara looks positively scandalized.

Tearing her eyes away from Melissa, Barbara stands and turns away from both of you, hands on her hips and head shaking in disapproval. As she takes her turn pacing across the room, the disappointed silence from the older woman allows the weight of the last week to settle on you, and you find yourself suddenly exhausted. You lean forward, your head in your hands and the shame rising inside of you like a tidal wave. How did you get here?

“Well, I think you both have been sufficiently horrible to each other,” Barbara says, turning toward you. “Now explain how this has all made you feel.”

You and Melissa groan in unison. “Come on, Barb,” Melissa starts, but Barbara holds up a single admonishing finger to silence her. The Italian woman becomes subdued immediately, and you notice how different Melissa’s reaction is to being silenced by Barbara.

“How has this made you feel?” the older woman presses, her tone of voice a warning to comply. Melissa leans against the wall, refusing to budge. You all sit in tense silence for what feels like an eternity, and you wish the floor would swallow you up. She was using the same tactics on you that you might use on two fighting eight year olds.

Eventually, you can’t handle the tension any longer and you burst out, “I feel totally disrespected!” You look to Barbara and she gestures for you to continue. “I uh… I feel belittled, and like you don’t take me seriously, but I think the worst part is I never got the chance to prove to you that I belong here… you wrote me off before you even met me. I’ve worked hard, and I love what I do, so to have you disregard me right off the bat, just because I made a mistake and I look young… it felt pretty shitty,” you admit, the confession coming out of you in one long rush.

“Especially because… I was excited to work with you,” you add quietly. You’re suddenly enamored with the floor, unable to bring yourself to look either woman in the eye. You feel exposed and vulnerable, and you’re majorly uncomfortable with it.

You’re forced to endure your feelings of discomfort for a few more torturous minutes. Suddenly, your eyes widen in shock as a husky voice meets your ears, and it takes a moment for your brain to process the words.

“I guess I feel a lot of the same,” Melissa admits. You raise your gaze to meet hers, and she’s staring at you intently, the earnestness reflected in her jewel-green eyes making your heart skip a beat. “Felt like you didn’t really care when you were late. Some a’ these kids? They got plenty of adults outside of these walls that don’t really care. That’s the last thing they need here. And then ya walked in and you look so young… I couldn't resist teasin' ya. But then you got me back and I got defensive, and I shouldnt’a.” She shifts her weight, casting her eyes to the floor. “I bought all those supplies with my own money,” she admits. “So seein’ you throwin’ em away, it really rubbed me the wrong way. But… you were right. I was tryin’ to stretch em when there was no more room to stretch. And then seein’ my lasagna on your desk… I know I can be a real hot head, and I took it out on ya and it wasn’t fair.”

As you look at Melissa, her red hair shining under the fluorescents and her evident unease at her own candor, there’s a swelling feeling in your chest and a warmth slowly spreading in your limbs. “Melissa,” you say, and her head snaps up to meet you. You search her eyes, waiting for her to snap at you for using her first name. She doesn’t. She simply waits, holding your gaze, and you can’t quite read what’s behind her eyes, but you suspect it’s something far softer than she’s shown you before.

You allow yourself to swim in those emerald pools for just a second longer before you admit, tenderly, “I’m sorry.” You see her shoulders drop ever so slightly, tension releasing as she allows your words to sink in. “I’m sorry for what I’ve said about your age. I’m sorry for throwing your things away without asking. And I’m really sorry about the Eagles tickets. That definitely wasn’t my finest moment.” You say the last bit with a touch of humor. You pause for a moment, before adding, “I’m not going to apologize for the lasagna, though. Janine insisted on giving it to me, and it was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever tasted.”

You see her eyes widen, her brows raising in surprise. A genuine satisfied smile graces her lips, and you can’t help but momentarily wish things had been different over the last week so you could have seen more of those. That smile made her entire demeanor change.

“Well,” she says, eyes flashing with her own humor. She shoots you a sly grin, and you return a small smile of your own. “If I’m bein’ real with ya, I’m impressed. Fake tickets? Pretty diabolical,” she continues, admiration in her voice. Her smile fades, though, and she brings her hand up, pressing a knuckle to her lips briefly in thought. She sighs, murmuring, “I’m sorry too. I shoulda given you a chance before jumpin’ to conclusions. And, uh… I’ll pay for ya to get your headlights fixed.” She mutters that last part, and you notice that she didn’t apologize for smashing them - but you know it’s as close as she’ll come, because you’re not sure she entirely regrets it. You’ll take what you can get.

“Thank you,” you murmur, and once again you suddenly can’t look at her anymore. Luckily, Barbara draws your focus to her as she clears her throat. You both look toward the older teacher as she stares down at you, a smug, triumphant smile dancing across her full lips.

“Now, was that so hard?” She asks, her voice teasing both of you. For the first time in days, you feel like you can breathe fully again. Melissa rolls her eyes, pulling herself away from the wall, but you detect a hint of relief radiating off of the woman as well.

“Don’t expect us to hold hands or nothin’ Barb,” she says as she heads for the door. When she reaches it, she pauses and turns to you. She considers you for a moment, and you begin to feel warm underneath her gaze. Finally, she says, “Well, ya comin’? We got lessons to plan for the day. How do ya feel about teaching Science?” Her tone is gruff, commanding, no nonsense. The carefully curated tough exterior of Melissa Schemmenti is back in place. But you’ve seen the slightest glimpse of the human being underneath.

“Right behind you,” you reply, and a tentative grin breaks out across your face as you stand and begin to follow the short woman. You pause briefly though, a thought entering your mind, and you turn to Barabra. Your hands grasp each other behind your back as you rock forward onto the balls of your feet, and you convey your gratitude by giving the older woman the warmest smile you can muster and uttering, “Thank you, Barbara.”

She returns your smile, her own radiant and warm, and you can’t help but feel like you’ve been blessed a bit. “My pleasure, dear. Go on, I’ll see you at lunch.” You nod in agreement, and turn on your heel, following after your lead teacher. You’re not friends - seeing as your time is limited at Abbott, you don’t imagine you ever will be. But you feel lighter, and there’s a newfound respect for the short woman. And for the first time since you stepped foot inside Abbott Elementary, you feel excited for the day before you.

-------

A/N:

Yes, I'm sorry, Gary will be briefly mentioned/perhaps even making small appearances. Stay strong lol. Controversial opinion but I don't hate Gary. Did I think he was good enough for Melissa? HELL NO. Do I think he should have respected her wishes and listened to her when she explained her boundaries? HELL YES. But ultimately he was just a big dumb guy who was infatuated with Melissa Schemmenti, and to that, I relate. Still, I wasn't mad about that split.

Fun fact - if you've watched season 3 episode 4 already, I wrote the Ava roster line before that episode aired. I died laughing when the kids were talking to Gregory about his roster. We don't need to talk about the firefighter exchange... denial is my favorite state.

#melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #Spotify

129 notes · View notes