#and the thing is i really should’ve known this was going to happen sooner or later but i had convinced myself it wouldn’t

[thexmistress]

The Dilemma

Sukuna x Reader

🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮Warnings:: Angst of course, slight mention of sex, manipulation, toxic relationship, spineless reader, etc etc :p 🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮

That feeling you get when you try your hardest to reach out but your efforts go in vain. That feeling you get that rises up from the bottom of your stomach….. traveling up your chest… then to your heart where it festers…. The pain is so unbearable but for some reason you find comfort in it…. It gives you reassurance that you still have some fight in you… still have hope that you can keep the remnants of your relationship from deteriorating. You started off strong at first, you truly did, but now it just feels like you’re in the middle of ocean trying to keep afloat on a wooden plank. You felt useless and overwhelmed.

Looking down at your phone you see that all 6 of your messages were read by Sukuna earlier this morning. Your last message being a ‘Good Morning ❤️’ accompanied by a ‘Read 7:34am’. You knew this was bound to happen sooner or later. You should’ve known this was coming and prevented it but you kept opening your mouth and kept fucking things up. Chuckling to yourself as you put your phone down and continued to paint on your canvas but that feeling again was starting to creep up to your chest, and before you knew it, your eyes began to water while you struggle to keep your hand straight. Who knew drawing a line could be so hard? You try to focus on the painting but your mind keeps going back to the last conversation you guys had 2 days ago.

🝮🝮🝮🝮

“I just think it’s weird how she’s always calling you….. like I understand you guys are friends but really baby? It’s literally 12am… I think that’s a bit much…” you peeped at the clock on the nightstand and noted the time was actually ‘12:40am’. Your voice that once held passion and certainty came out timid, scared that if you said something wrong it would upset him, but even then your efforts go in vain as you see your lover roll his eyes at you and sigh heavily as he began to rub his face with hands exasperatedly.

It’s that feeling again. You feel it bubbling in your stomach as you instantly regret what you just said but it was already too late the moment he opened his mouth and began to invalidate how you feel like usual. It was always the usual to you so much to the point where you started to second guess your own feelings. Your gaze that was on the floor flickered back up to him catching a quick glance at his eyes but the moment you seen the annoyance that flooded his eyes you quickly look away not being able to handle the way it made that feeling in your stomach skyrocket to your chest. “Are you really starting this bullshit again? Really Y/N?”

His questioning lingered in the air for a few seconds until he felt even more annoyed by your silence. “Well you brought it up right? Why you not saying anything? Look at me when I’m talking to you like a normal fucking adult!” The tone of his voice made you snap your eyes up, holding back tears but the stinging feeling it was causing in your eyes wasn’t helping. “Why are you crying? Why-“, stopping mid sentence he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and sighed, “Listen. I’m not going to explain this again. Mei is just a friend. I don’t see you making this a big deal when Yuji or one of the bros call me around this time. Mei is a bro. A. Friend.”

🝮🝮🝮🝮

That’s right. Just a friend. Okay maybe you are toxic….. you make a mental note to not bring that up again but you’re starting to feel it. Starting to feel tired of everything. The no text backs unless he feels like it, how he’s so quiet on the phone and you’re always carrying the conversation, the ‘parallel play’ that you’ve become accustomed to and the fact you didn’t even know it was a thing until you were on Reddit asking strangers were you wrong for wanting to spend time with your boyfriend alone instead of always sharing him with his bros. You will always remember that day but only because of how much his words shattered you.

🝮🝮🝮🝮

“Bro what the fuck! Kill him!” Sukuna was yelling at his monitor fully engaged in the game with his headset on both ears but the volume was still loud that you can hear the giggles of his friends through them. It was the typical people in the PlayStation party; Satoru, Yuji, Suguru, and Utahime. You peeked at him but returned your attention back to your kdrama you were watching on your phone (had to get romance from somewhere right?). You couldn’t help but to start to feel annoyed and a bit angry at the fact that you were supposed to be over his house to spend time with him since he was off from work today. You usually wouldn’t mind this but lately that’s all you guys have been doing and it’s starting to bother you. Come over his house, sit on his bed while he plays the game then fuck.. How Romantic.

Before you went home you spoke about how you felt and how it feels like you were getting the bare minimum since you were the main one who would suggest hanging out or making plans, the main one calling first, the main one trying to make conversation because if you don’t speak he’s more than likely not going to start a conversation…. It’s like you’re just here. You were nervous and felt like you just committed blasphemy for even letting that slip out your lips and apparently he thought the same to because he gave you a look as if you just stabbed him in the chest and you can’t really remember all the things he said but what will forever stick to you was when he said,

“why are you measuring my love with ‘effort’? If you love me and I do give you the bare minimum that should be enough.”

🝮🝮🝮🝮

You didn’t even noticed you stopped painting until you started to sniff realizing that you were crying. You put down your paintbrush and wiped your tears and nose as you picked up your phone to see no notifications from Sukuna as expected but you couldn’t help but to feel a little hope that he would text you. It’s been 2 days since you’ve heard from him and you’re trying really hard not to come off as clingy so you’ve been sticking to texting him and not holding it against him because like he always says he’s a bad texter.

You go on instagram to see that he posted yet another story and you can’t help but to start another turmoil within yourself…..

‘Am I truly asking for too much?’

‘Am I too invested?’

‘Is it too much to ask for a clingy, emotional available boyfriend?’

You sighed as took a picture of the almost finished portrait of Sukuna and posted it on your instagram story before sending it him with a text that follows ‘Almost done! 😊’. You were about to put your phone down until you felt a vibration causing you to look back down at the screen to see him reply ‘❤️’. Suddenly you felt lighter and that nagging feeling went away causing you to feel nothing but relief.

See, he still loves me.

#sukuna x reader #sukuna angst #angst #fanfic #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk angst #jjk sukuna #sukuna #oneshot #toxic relationship #toxic love #yuji itadori #gojo satoru

[heartpascal]

you’ll find the key

▹ — joel miller x platonic!f!reader

▹ — summary: part five of if the door wasn’t shut — after feeling hopeless, you decide it’s time to heal

▹ — a/n: guys, i apologise for the wait! usually it doesn’t take me so long to write but this was a bit of a struggle!! i hope it lives up to any expectations :( i love you guys sm <3 pls leave ur thoughts + feedback and if u would like to see anything else in this series !!!

▹ — warnings: bad mental health, arguments, like two much needed hugs, so many apologies (my brain is failing so please tell me if there’s anything i’m missing!!!)

▹ — general taglist: @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915 @erensloveinterest @dazedshoon @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @sleepygraves @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @ilybbg @rvjaa @oliest19xx @pedropepsi @sunflowersdrop @truthfuleeyours

masterlist

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR

check out howl’s song associations!

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It was still storming outside.

Snow was coming down in heavy bouts, swirling all over the place with the force of the wind, and it was almost a goddamn blizzard. The ground was covered in it, and if it weren’t for the people already out in the streets, using shovels to dig away the snow in front of doorways, you were sure everyone would’ve gotten snowed in.

Not that you were going anywhere, anyway.

You hadn’t left Jesse’s side since you had gotten back to Jackson, after Tommy had a talk with you. They told you he was going to be absolutely fine, that all he needed was rest and to keep the wound clean. You still worried about him.

Part of you, despite knowing that what happened wasn’t your fault, still felt guilty. Out of the two of you, you were the more experienced one, and you should’ve known better, right? Should’ve caught wind that something wasn’t quite right sooner? You should’ve done something, protected him better, maybe?

You didn’t know exactly what you could’ve done differently, and you tried not to think of the possibilities, because the last thing you needed was to drown in guilt when you already felt bad enough.

Tommy’s chat with you hadn’t helped, either, and you know it was only because he cares, but it still hurt. The way he had looked at you, so angry, and scolded you for going back out there, for going after Joel when you and Jesse had barely made it out yourselves. He had called you irresponsible, which you would’ve argued against, if you hadn’t felt so guilty over the events of the day, if you hadn’t been worrying about Jesse.

You didn’t want to think about him being right, about how you could’ve gotten Jesse killed today, or yourself, god — Joel could’ve died, trying to save you. But was that really your fault? You wondered if everyone blamed you for Jesse getting hurt, as much as you blamed yourself.

“Are you really brooding, right now?” Jesse croaked, startling you from where you stood at the window beside his bed, staring out at the swirling snow. You turned to him, seeing his raised eyebrows, and felt almost thankful about the annoyance that arose when he looked smug, like he was right. “Unbelievable!”

“I’m not brooding, you asshole.” You murmured, unconvincingly. Jesse grinned, shaking his head at your denial.

“Oh, you so are.”

“I should’ve let them finish the job.” You responded flatly, breaking into a smile when Jesse laughed. The quiet lingered for a moment, both of your smiles slowly falling as the weight of everything that happened registered between you. “I’m sorry.”

Jesse’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you, his fingers picking at the edge of the blanket settled over him. “For what? Saving my life?”

“No, Jesse, I should’ve never put us in that situation. Especially after Pete left. I know better.” You replied, stepping towards the guy who had quickly become your best friend. You shook your head, eyes flickering around the room, until they settled on him. “Tommy took me off patrols, anyway, so.”

“What?” Jesse questioned, mouth hanging open. “Why?”

You stared at him, blinking in your confusion, and you tilted his head back to check his eyes were focused, that he wasn’t concussed, or something.

“Do you not remember what happened?”

“I remember just fine, thank you.” He responded, eyebrows creased as your hand left his forehead. Both of you wore incredibly confused expressions, neither knowing what the miscommunication between you could be. “Why would Tommy take you off patrols?”

“Jesse, you could’ve died.” You said, watching his face for the reaction, as if the information was new to him.

“Yeah, but that wasn’t your fault! You’re the one who saved me, who got me out. I don’t understand.” Jesse said, voice raising as he got slightly heated. He lowered his voice when he sat up, and pulled at his stitches, hissing in pain.

“No, I got us into it, and I was lucky to get us out.” You told him, as if it was a confession, and you frowned. You didn’t want to think about what could have happened to Joel, didn’t want to say that for once, the world had been on your side, letting you get him out, too. You didn’t voice it, but you don’t know what you would’ve done with yourself if he had died, trying to save you.

Jesse shifted, voicing your name, but you stopped him, smiling tightly in his direction. “It’s fine, Jesse. It’s for the better. Besides, means I’ve got more time to do my pottering.” You teased, though the words didn’t quite reach the way your teasing usually sounded. “Anyway, Dina showed up.”

“What? Why? Did she actually?” Jesse asked, his eyebrows raised as he looked to you with suspicion, like you were about to be making fun of him.

“‘Course she did. Whole town knows what happened, and she was worried about you.” You said with a grin that didn’t meet your eyes.

“The whole town?” He questioned, shutting his eyes and dropping his head back with a groan when you nodded your confirmation. “My family are so going to kill me, aren’t they?”

With a laugh, you reached forward to mess up his hair, “Oh, Jesse, you sweet thing. We’ve already devised a plan on how we’re going to do it.”

He slapped your hand away, glaring, but a smile pulled at his lips. He knew it wasn’t true, knew you were just entertaining his dramatics. What he didn’t know, was that his family had already been in, had already scolded you for getting their golden boy into trouble.

You moved back to the window, seeing a man across the road had given up on shovelling the heavy snow away from his door. Something heavy had settled on your chest, and you took a deep breath to try and get some oxygen past it. You didn’t blame Jesse’s family for what they had said to you — if you had been in their position, you probably would’ve been the same. They hadn’t quite approved of you, anyway, so you didn’t take it too personally. You were more than aware of everything you had done wrong.

Somebody cleared their throat in the doorway to the room, and you turned away from the window to see Joel stood there. He nodded his greeting to Jesse, a tight smile on his face.

“C’mon, kiddo, Tommy wants you to head back to the shop.” Joel said, repressing the sigh that wanted to leave his chest when you only nodded, stepping away from the window with a final glance outside.

“Well,” You said to Jesse, trying to muster up your best smile, “Duty calls, I guess. Feel better soon, okay?”

He called your name when you walked away, passing Joel as he stood beside the door, but you ignored it, feeling that weight grow heavier. Joel followed after you, a frown on his face.

You knew the route out already, and figured Joel was just the messenger, but he followed along, a few steps behind you as he limped on his injured leg. The wind was harsh when you opened the door, and you shivered when snow was immediately blown in your face. You lingered in the doorway, both hesitant to go out into the awful conditions, and feeling bad for leaving Joel hurrying on his bad leg.

Joel didn’t say it, but you knew he was here because Tommy didn’t want to see you. You couldn’t say you were surprised — not after just how angry Tommy had gotten. His face had been red, the steam pouring from his ears practically melting the snow around him, and it was the first time he had ever yelled at you.

“You doing okay?” Joel asked, hesitantly, as he paused in the doorway beside you, watching you as you wrapped your coat tighter around you. He knew that nothing was fixed, not even close, but there was something.

“I’m fine, Joel.” You replied, and he could hear the exhaustion in your voice, the way it pulled on your words. It was easier to hear than it was to see, but he just caught the slump to your shoulders, the way you held your eyes shut for a moment, before going to brave the snow.

He walked beside you as you headed towards the ceramics shop, your pace a touch slower than usual. You shoved your hands in your pockets, eyebrows creasing when you realised you must’ve taken your gloves off at some point. You tried not to sigh when you realised that they were probably lost, and just decided to chalk it up to another disappointment in an incredibly frustrating day.

When you arrived at the ceramics shop, it was a mission to get through all the snow that had started blocking the door. You would probably be snowed in, by nightfall. Joel helped you get rid of as much of it as possible, his gloved hands doing most of the work after your bare ones become too numb to continue.

You opened the door, feeling heavier than you had in months, and left the door open as you moved to the back of the shop, turning on the heater that sat there. You let your hands linger in front of it, just gritting your teeth at the sting that followed from warming them too quickly.

Joel lingered in the doorway, frowning at you, and furrowed his eyebrows as he called your name, watching your turn to face him. “I’m sorry.”

You gaped at him, stunned.

“You should have gotten a choice. It wasn’t my place to decide that for you, or to leave without havin’ a conversation.” He continued on, his words jumbling the slightest bit. “I still think you stayin’ was the best thing for you, the safest thing, but for whatever it might be worth, I am sorry.”

When your silence lingered, Joel nodded tersely, and stepped away, smiling tightly as he left the shop, shutting the door behind him. You blinked at the closed door, unsure what to do, unsure if you should have said something. But even if you should’ve, what would you have said?

It wasn’t okay, not in the slightest, and everything around you seemed to be crumbling. Tommy wasn’t speaking to you and Maria would be more than upset with you, too. Jesse was in the infirmary, and that was on you. And even as you looked around the ceramics shop, all you saw was cracked paint on the walls, and dust that settled no matter how many times you wiped it away.

Hell, even the misshapen plates and bowls on the shelves just made your chest hurt. You didn’t feel any sort of pride for this place, anymore, and it was painful. It stung at the deepest parts of you, and you just settled down on the dirty floor in front of the heater, holding your head in your hands as you blinked back tears.

Why did you think you could do this?

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Initially, you didn’t intend on avoiding Jesse.

In fact, you had plans to go and visit him the day after everything went to shit. It was just that when you opened the shop door, the outside looked far too unfriendly, and you knew his family would be in his infirmary room.

Perhaps it was a cowardly move, staying at the shop, locking the door and pretending the outside world of Jackson didn’t exist. Really, you were going to go and see him the next day. Swore to yourself that you would. But when the next day came, you didn’t even attempt to unlock the door to leave, figuring that it would be best to just leave him and his family to it. Dina was probably with him, too, so your absence wouldn’t be felt all too much.

Each day you said you would go, started with you justifying your staying in the shop. It went the same way, waking up and thinking you should go and see him, but the moment you got into the front of the shop, you thought better of it.

You blamed it on everything but what it actually was. Whether that be the snow, the heater in the shop that broke, the concept of him having quality time with his family… you used it all to reassure yourself that he didn’t need you by his side.

Besides, you knew he wouldn’t be in the infirmary for long. And by the fifth day, there was a knock against the shop door, barely heard over the howling wind outside. You remained in the back room, telling yourself it was probably nothing important, and after the heater broke, you couldn’t afford to open the door, anyway.

Even with the door closed, your breath misted in front of your face, and you had to rub your hands together more than once to generate heat, especially considering you seemed to have misplaced your gloves.

On day six, you kept all the lights off, and didn’t bother to poke your head around the doorframe to see who was knocking at the front door. After a few moments of loud knocking, his voice called out your name, and you were sure he was likely squinting through the shop window, trying to catch sight of you.

You barely even noticed the way you held your breath so it wouldn’t cloud the air, and alert him to your presence. You pretended the harsh exhale after he left was just a sigh of exhaustion. In some ways, you guessed it was.

By day seven, he knew what you were doing.

“Open the door,” Jesse yelled, still knocking wildly against the wood, and you were sure he was peeking in the window, too. “I’ve been to Tommy’s, the dinner hall, the greenhouses, the stables, hell — I even went to Joel’s. I know you’re here, stop hiding.”

You stayed in the back room.

After a while — much longer than you expected, especially given the still-awful weather — Jesse gave up, leaving the door at last. You frowned at the empty can of food in front of you, chest aching from the cold and everything that had happened over the past few days.

You hadn’t left the shop in the past seven days, surviving off of the short supply of long-life food in the cupboards. But that was your last can of it. As much as you knew you would have to leave, have to go get some more food in order to survive, you still didn’t want to. You didn’t want to see anyone, didn’t want them to see the shame that was so visible in the curve of your frown, the dip of your brows.

It made it easier to hide, knowing Jesse was the only person looking for you. There had been no sign of Tommy or Maria, which pained you, but didn’t surprise you. Part of you wondered if they’d ever speak to you again, but you didn’t want to linger on the question, too afraid of the answer.

It was day eight that you had no other choice — the temperatures were dropping even further, and with no heater it was becoming too cold for you to take. The need for heat and food led you to the dinner hall, which was surprisingly empty, and you settled at your usual table with a plate of cooked food, feeling the chill that had begun to settle in your bones fade.

Most people would be staying inside their homes, the cold too much to bear, so you were surprised when Ellie waltzed into the hall, eyes scanning the room as she made her way over to grab herself some food. You dipped your head when she began looking in your direction, and clutched at the fork in your hand, holding your breath.

“So you are alive.” Ellie drawled, settling down in the seat opposite you with her plate in front of her. “You know your friend has been coming ‘round for the past few days, won’t leave us alone.”

You shrugged, not knowing how to respond.

She sighed, poking at the food on her plate. “Thanks for going back for Joel, by the way.” She pretended not to see the way your head snapped up, eyebrows furrowed as you looked at her.

“I wouldn’t leave him to die out there,” You said, after a moment, the words hesitant as they left you. “Especially when he went to try and help me.”

Ellie nodded, shoving food into her mouth, and you quickly followed her action. The silence between the two of you stretched uncomfortably, and you hated how everything had changed. Why couldn’t they have just let you come with them? Why did they have to push you so far away?

“He’s a good guy,” Ellie said, a frown on her face. “He makes stupid decisions, but only because he cares about us.”

You looked at her, wondering when the two of you had grown up. You remember the jokes you had shared during your travels, the way she had been able to make you smile even when doing so seemed impossible. She had made life in the apocalypse almost bearable, and now here you were, sat at the same table, but miles apart.

“Maybe, but you were right about one thing. I don’t know what happened, so if you ever want to talk about it, I’ll listen.” You told her, instead of acknowledging her words about Joel. You didn’t want to think about him. You didn’t want to think about any of it.

It would be painful, you were sure, to hear about everything they had experienced. You could guess that a lot of it wouldn’t be pleasant, and it would likely hurt to hear about all the things you had missed out on, all the things that maybe you could’ve protected them from. But you were willing. It wasn’t forgiveness, it wasn’t a ticket back to being in each other’s lives, but it was progress.

And progress was all that you could offer, so it would have to do.

“I’ll, uh, keep that in mind.” Ellie said, a tight smile on her face as she looked at you, her eyebrows slightly raised in surprise at your words.

You nodded, and the two of you ate in silence.

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After stocking up on some more long-lasting cans of food, you were prepared to hunker down in the shop for a while longer. You hadn’t been able to trade for another blanket like you had hoped, but you weren’t all too surprised. With the stormy weather, everybody wanted more warming supplies.

You had survived worse conditions, though, in worse places. One harsh winter in Jackson wouldn’t kill you, even if your heater was broken, and you still hadn’t found your gloves.

The shop door was locked once again, and you had taped the bottom of it to try and stop the cold draft from seeping into the room. You considered bunkering down in the back room, taping the door shut and staying in there with all the blankets and layers you had, but you thought better of it. You wanted to be able to hear the front door with ease, still on edge after the ambush with Jesse, especially considering the raiding attacks that had slowly begun to ease off.

Despite whatever had gone wrong, however angry Tommy may be, you knew he’d rely on you if the time came. You were sure of it. Everything the two of you had built couldn’t have been toppled by this one event, right?

Your gun was still laid by the shop door, and your ammo never left the jacket you always wore. Just in case. If anything were to go wrong, you wanted to be ready.

The call of your name shook you from your racing thoughts, the contemplation of everything that could happen pausing as your head snapped up. Maria’s voice was loud, and she hadn’t knocked. You didn’t have a surname — didn’t know whoever came before you long enough for them to tell you, didn’t know everyone who came after long enough for them to share their own. So she settled on your first name, yelling it loudly.

“Open the door!” Maria demanded once again, kicking the bottom of it with her foot. “Come on, open it. You’re not fooling anybody, and it’s freezing out here, little Troy can’t stay out here too long.”

With a sigh, you stood. She knew how to get to you — bringing baby Miller was a harsh plan, especially because it gave you no choice but to let her in. Not that it was much warmer in the shop than it was outside, but she didn’t know that.

You unlocked the door, pulling it open just to fit yourself into the crack of it. Facing Maria was terrifying, because you didn’t know what to expect. Even as she held on to baby Troy Miller, who was bundled up in more layers than you could count, she was totally unpredictable. She could be in a motherly mood, or that merciless Jackson council member.

“Hi,” You said, nervously. “What’re you doing here?”

She raised her eyebrows, stepping forward until you’d opened the door for her to step inside of the shop. Maria’s stern expression immediately fell, and you could feel nerves building in your stomach.

“Is your heating out?” She asked, turning on you suddenly, harshly. When you nodded meekly, she handed Troy over to you, not faltering even when you opened your mouth to voice your confusion.

He babbled at you, a toothy grin on his face, and you held on to him tighter. It hit you then, how much you actually cared about these people. Your brain short-circuited when you thought about something bad happening to this family, and it made you feel sick. Suddenly, you were regretting the meal you had eaten with Ellie.

“Well, I think Jeremy should be able to fix it up.” Maria sighed, standing from where she had crouched down to inspect your broken heater. “But he’s way busy with other heater issues. Come on, you’ll stay with us.”

“Maria.” You urged, repeating her name another time when she didn’t answer you, too busy thinking about options and solutions, as always. “I’m fine. Go home.”

She sighed heavily, turning to you with that stern look she’d been wearing since the moment you were left behind in Jackson. “I know you and Tommy are going through a rough time, but he loves you, and if he knew you’d been living here with no heat?” Maria shook her head with scoffed laughter, not reaching for Troy even as you offered to hand him back, instead moving to pack some of your clothes into a bag. “Come on, let’s go home.”

“It’s not my home, Maria,” You said softly, perhaps the softest she had ever heard you.

It was disquieting, at the least, for you to behave in such a way. Throughout the whole time Maria had known you, you had been sharp edges and bitten words, even when you had grown to care for them, that hadn’t changed all that much. It was a constant, your stubborn attitude and harsh nature, always slamming doors shut too hard, always charring food when you were unsupervised, because you’d turn the heat up too high. You were impatient, practical, realistic. You weren’t soft.

Maria’s face curved into a frown, and she stopped her presumptive actions in packing up some of your things. She looked at you, looked at the lines that were beginning to dig into your expression, looked at the way your shoulders slumped as you held on to her son.

“Maybe not,” Maria offered, and looked around at the shop that was not as pristine as the last time she had seen it, before looking back to you. “It could be, though.”

You shook your head, sighing but not finding any relief from the action, only feeling the same tightness to your chest. “I’m not a Miller.” You said, and it was true, because the space behind your name remained as empty as ever, that absence something you had felt your whole life.

“You’re as much a Miller as I am, as he is.” Maria reasoned, gesturing towards her son in your arms as she looked at you. She didn’t want to say too much, didn’t want to overwhelm you, but you had practically been adopted by the two Miller brothers. Two men who were so far from perfect, who made so many mistakes that they almost lost you, who cared too much. Hell, even if you weren’t consciously aware of it, you had adopted their mannerisms and tendencies.

It showed in the way you held Troy, the same stance that Tommy used. It showed in the frown on your lips, that looked far too much like Joel’s to be a coincidence. The furrow between your brows reflected Joel and Tommy’s own, a crevice built from worrying and frustration and anger. You reminded Maria too much of how Tommy had been when they first found him — eyes glassy, lost, and without purpose.

She had seen the change in you since you had been left in Jackson, so many ups and downs, but you had been doing better. And now, here you were, looking more lost than you ever had.

“That’s not true, Maria.” You replied, tense. It wasn’t true — Troy was a Miller by blood, and Maria was a Miller by marriage. Both choices that Tommy had made. It wasn’t the same for you, it couldn’t be. Tommy had never chosen you — Joel had dropped you in his lap before running away, and didn’t that make you the furthest thing from a Miller?

“It is true.” Maria refuted, stepping forward to hold a hand firmly against your face. “You’re a Miller, no doubt about it. Now come on, we’d better get going. Got a lot to talk about.”

She was finishing shoving your things inside of the backpack at her feet in a few moments, and was swinging it over her shoulder before you could protest, making her way out of the door. Holding her son, what choice did you have but to follow?

The two of you were silent on your journey to Rancher Street, and you felt the nerves bubbling up from your stomach, leaving an unpleasant tingling in the back of your throat. It was tense, though that could have been all from you. You were still holding Troy, having him half buried in your jacket to make sure he wouldn’t be cold, despite the fact your jacket wasn’t the warmest.

When you arrived to her house, Tommy wasn’t there. She didn’t say anything, so you didn’t mention it, much preferring to ignore the issues that would likely arrive whenever he returned. Instead, you settled Troy down, removing some of his layers at the rush of warm air that came the moment you stepped through the door.

Your hands were tingling, in a strange state between feeling and numb after the sudden temperature change. You settled them under your legs when you sat down on the couch, Troy at your side as Maria clambered about the kitchen, having already dropped your bag down beside the sofa.

When she came back, it was with a steaming mug that you recognised — one of your very own design. It was a dark green, close to black, and had your poor recreation of a bear on it. You remembered thinking it was going to come out brown, remembered the shock when it was green.

She handed it over, and you used the hand with slightly more feeling to take it from her, holding it close to your chin to allow the steam to flow over your features, warming your nose. “So,” Maria said, drawing your attention from where you’d been keeping an eye on Troy, keeping the hot mug away from him. “First, you and Tommy fight, and then you ignore your best friend?”

You stared at her, teeth clenched in shock, and recalled the way Ellie had mentioned the boy. Clearly, he was pestering everybody who knew you. Maria’s eyebrows raised, looking expectantly at you.

“‘M not ignoring anybody.” You murmured, voice catching in your throat as you spoke, and you took a sip of boiling hot tea to get rid of the lump that had formed. The burn soothed you, in a strange way, warming your insides the slightest bit as you breathed steam.

“Mhm, is that why he’s been ‘round here, bugging us ever since he got out of the damn infirmary?” Maria asked, expression tightening slightly as you winced, and knew she had got you.

You shook your head, moving your other hand from underneath your leg to cradle the mug in both palms, breathing a relieved breath at the warmth finally reaching your fingers. “Doesn’t know how to stop, does he?” You said, moving your eyes to the swirling drink in the mug, not looking up even as Maria hummed. “I’ll tell him to leave you be.”

“Ah, but that would require talking to him, which you clearly haven’t been doing.” She told you, a slight teasing lilt to her voice, to make it seem less serious than it truly was.

Maria remembered the night you and Tommy had arrived home, with you shoving at his shoulder whilst he laughed loudly, a bright teasing smile on his expression. It was probably the lightest she had ever seen the two of you, with Tommy not feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders for just a moment, and you smiling like you hadn’t faced unspeakable things. She remembered the way you had scrambled to correct Tommy’s statements, whacking a hand against his forearm when he interrupted you.

She remembered Troy waking up from where she hadn’t long settled him down, and remembered the way you had immediately gone to calm him down after hissing a “Look what you’ve done now!” at Tommy, who had only laughed.

Maria remembered the way her head had settled against her husband’s shoulder, exhausted to her very bones, motherhood feeling much harder than she remembered. Especially with her aged bones, keeping up with a baby was more difficult than she remembered. She didn’t want to think about what it would be like when he could actually run around. Maria had just been grateful to have you there, to be able to rest with Tommy, trusting you to look after her son.

You challenged her motherly instincts, sure, but Troy was on another level — it was a lot more to deal with when your child wasn’t basically self-sufficient.

“I’m going to,” You said, though there was doubt in your voice. “I am.” You repeated, as if that would solidify your statement, as if it would make it any more truthful.

“Listen,” Maria sighed, saying your name, and waiting for you to look up from your mug before she continued. “I know what happened on that patrol. I know. And it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault, so why are you ignoring Jesse?”

You swallowed, scratching a fingernail over a small crumb of clay that hadn’t gotten smoothed down before being fired. “I just… I care about him, and he could’ve died, Maria. Tommy was right, I—I was irresponsible, and I could’ve gotten us both killed.”

Maria shook her head immediately, picking Troy up when he began to fuss, and she stopped you. “No, Tommy was speaking from a place of anger. Of fear. You did everything right.” She affirmed, staring intensely at you, as if daring you to argue against her. “Except, maybe, going after Joel, but I know why you did that. I get it. If I had been in your position, if it were my…— I would’ve done the same thing.”

“I just didn’t want him to die, because of me.” You said, voice quiet again, and Maria’s heart ached for you, something squeezing so tightly in her chest that it physically hurt. “I don’t want Tommy to hate me forever, either.” You added after a few quiet moments, eyes following a bubble around the edge of the mug.

“He doesn’t hate you, kid, not at all. He was scared, he didn’t want to lose you.” Maria reasoned, but you still didn’t feel better, not after just how angry he had gotten. Not after he had practically shoved you out of his sight, the moment he was done yelling, unable to even look at you. Not after he had sent Joel as a messenger, refusing to speak to you himself.

“Maybe,” You offered, because it was the best you could do. You couldn’t agree with her, couldn’t disagree, either. The only person who would actually be able to decide those things was Tommy — and he was nowhere to be found. “I’ll talk to Jesse.” You decided to say, in the end, hands gripping tighter on the mug. Just saying it aloud made it seem all the more real, and you regretted it a moment afterwards, thoughts stuck on what Jesse would say, what his family would say.

“Good.” Maria said, nodding at you, “He’s a good kid, he deserves to know his friend is still here.” She stood to her feet, heading to the kitchen with Troy in her arms, waiting for her to feed him.

Twenty minutes later, when Maria had gone upstairs to put Troy down for a nap, the front door banged open, a rush of cold air being let in.

“Maria!” Tommy yelled out, his voice panicked, and you could hear him shuffling through his bag in the still-open doorway. With furrowed brows, you placed the cold mug down on the floor beside the sofa, standing up and making your way to peek into the hallway. “Maria, you here?” He shouted again, more desperate this time, and when you finally saw him, you saw that he had snow still clinging to him, and he had brought clumps of it in on his boots, slowly melting puddles on their floor.

“Tommy?” You questioned quietly, both not wanting to speak to him, but also getting increasingly concerned by his behaviour. His head snapped up to you, and he blinked in surprise, his shoulders slumping and hands pausing in their rummaging.

“Oh, thank god.” Tommy said, approaching you quickly and wrapping his arms around you tightly before you could get a word in. You blinked, shocked, and slowly wrapped your own arms around the man, who just held your head closer to him in return. “You scared the shit outta me.” He admitted, a slight tremor to his voice. He breathed out a heavy sigh, arms squeezing, and you wanted to look at him to express your confusion.

“Is everything okay?” Maria asked, a slight panic to her own voice, but she relaxed at the image before her. Tommy’s eyes opened as he rested his head on your own, and he looked to his wife as he nodded gently.

He moved away from you slightly, hands moving to hold your shoulders tightly, finally able to see your confused face. He sighed, his shoulders dropping like they had been holding the weight of the world. “I went to the shop, wanted to apologise. Couldn’t find you or your things, and it was freezing.” Tommy told you, his head dropping until his chin rested against his chest for a moment. “Thought you left.”

His arms pulled you back to his chest, and you didn’t resist him, though your heart was racing in your chest, blood rushing in your ears.

Maria frowned, “I didn’t know you were going. The heater’s broken, so I told her to stay with us.”

Tommy nodded again, his breath held in his chest as he let his heart rate calm down. You let him hold on to you until he was ready to let go, just keeping your face hidden in his shoulder as your arms wrapped loosely around him, fingers numb from the cold once again.

When he finally released you, you took a small step back, cheeks warm with remaining shame from your last conversation with the man. The rest of you, however, was freezing, especially since you had removed your multitude of layers in the warm house. Tommy frowned as you shivered, cursing under his breath as he turned to shut his front door, his frown deepening when he saw the water covering the hallway in front of the door.

He waved Maria away when she gave him a stern look, and she nodded once she saw his expression, smiling tightly at you before heading back upstairs to settle Troy back down, after he had been fussing from his father’s shouting.

Tommy turned to where you stood, hands wrung together to try and generate some more warmth between your digits. He sighed again, a seemingly very common thing for him at the moment, and he stood up straighter to talk to you.

“I’m sorry,” He told you, his voice reflecting his words in its apologetic tone. “I should never have spoken to you the way I did. Wasn’t fair of me to blame you for things that weren’t your fault. Or for me to judge you for doin’ exactly what I would’ve. What I should’ve.”

You stared at him, at the way his hands clenched and unclenched into fists at his sides, a slightly nervous habit, you had noticed.

“Tommy, you were right,” You responded, continuing on even as he shook his head, “I messed up, and I could’ve gotten Jesse, or Joel, or even myself killed.”

“No.” He said firmly, reaching out and holding onto your shoulders once again, his grip tight as if you might slip away. “I was wrong. You hear me? I should have been proud, proud that you were so brave, that you saved your friend and your— and Joel. I should have been proud that you made your way back, that you did it without some old shithead tellin’ you what to do.” He rambled on, shutting his eyes and looking almost regretful.

You ducked your head, feeling far too emotional, a lump formed in your throat at his words. Just somebody who you looked up to, who you trusted, telling you that you hadn’t done anything wrong… it was almost too much.

As many mixed feelings as you may have had over the whole situation, the most prevalent one was guilt. It had been surrounding you, weighing so heavily on you, hell, you didn’t even realise how much it had been pulling you down until Tommy came in, lifting it all off of your shoulders.

“You did good, kid.” He told you, squeezing your shoulders, and you hated the way your lip started trembling.

“Stop, you’re gonna make me cry.”

Tommy laughed, the sound watery and almost broken off, “You can cry as much as you want.” He pulled you in, feeling your arms squeeze around his middle as he held on to you so tightly, he was almost sure he’d never let go again.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Your closed fist was raised up to the door, a hair’s width away from making contact with it, but you had frozen. And it wasn’t because of the cold.

There was something that had settled heavily in your stomach, making your whole body feel heavy and slow. You felt, distantly, like you might throw up with the way it was sitting, but tried not to think on it too much. You were aware of the way your chest was rising and falling, almost too aware, and you tried to put it out of your mind as you attempted to steel yourself.

“You gonna knock, or are you just gonna keep standing there, looking stupid?” A voice asked from behind you, making you spin on your heels, fist pulled away from the door. You held a hand against your chest, breathing a heavy sigh as you saw the culprit of the scare.

“You’re an asshole.” You murmured, eyes studying your beaten up boots that were covered in melting snow. You looked up to him, and felt some relief when you saw Jesse crack a slight smile at your reaction. It faded far too quickly for your liking.

“So?” He prompted, eyebrows raising at you.

You frowned, repressing the urge to grumble at him, but you knew that he should’ve been the one angry at you. Hell, he probably was. “I just came to say… I’m sorry.”

“For…?”

“Are you kidding?” You asked, annoyed. But when his expression didn’t budge, you sighed through your nose. “Okay. I’m sorry for ignoring you after the infirmary, and I’m sorry you got put into the infirmary at all.” You said, looking back down the where the melting snow was seeping into the hole at the side of your boots. You should probably get new ones.

Jesse didn’t say anything for a moment, and you picked at your fingernails while you stared at the ground, your nerves sending your pulse into a fluttery mess.

Finally, you heard him snickering, and your head snapped up. “Well, I just can’t believe this. You, apologising?” You glared as his smile slowly grew, though you knew that the whole thing wasn’t quite solved, at least it was good to know that Jesse was still acting his usual asshole self with you. “Come on, you little asshole.” He said, gesturing for you to follow him. You did.

He glanced at you every so often, shaking his head at your stoic expression.

The two of you arrived at the dining hall soon enough, standing in the queues silently whilst waiting to collect food, until Jesse nudged you and led you over to the table you so often shared.

“You do realise I would never blame you for something that happened on patrol, right?” He asked, eyebrow raised as he awaited your response, shovelling food into his mouth as if he was starving. He reminded you an awful lot of Ellie, in that way. You wondered if they had met.

With a roll of your eyes, “Well, now, yeah. Do we have to talk about this? I said sorry, didn’t I?” You murmured the last part, shovelling your own food into your mouth, refraining from rolling your eyes again when Jesse snickered at you.

“How could I forget? You prefer to brood rather than talk about your feelings.” He responded.

“Okay, I don’t brood—”

“Yes, you do—”

“And do you enjoy talking about… feelings?” You said, ignoring his interruption. He stared at your raised eyebrows, the expectant look on your face.

“Sometimes, I do.”

“Maybe when it comes to—”

“Dina!” Jesse said in a high pitched tone, cutting you off and looking at you with widened eyes. You looked behind you, seeing the girl of the hour approaching your table, an amused look in her eye. She nudged you with a grin as she walked past, sitting on your left and smiling widely at Jesse’s surprised expression.

After settling down, she looked back up to meet Jesse’s eyes. “What? Cat got your tongue?”

You snorted out a laugh, not expecting to hear such an old expression coming from her — it sounded like something Joel might say. Jesse glared at you, unamused by the grin you and Dina shared.

“Yeah, Jesse.” You goaded, smiling at his indignant huff. “Not want to talk about feelings, anymore?” You asked. You leaned backwards as he swiped his arm out, trying to knock the cutlery from your hand as it was heading towards your mouth. Dina laughed at his failed attempt.

“So you two are talking again, then?” Dina said when her laughing faded, and you glared at the way Jesse grinned, unhappy with the fact he was telling her such things. You supposed that you couldn’t blame him — after all, you had spoken to Maria about it. It just so happened that Jesse was your only friend your actual age.

“Unfortunately.” You grumbled, eyes narrowed at the man.

“Unfortunately,” Jesse mocked, making a face at you. “Somebody finally came to their senses!” He said, after he was done poking at his food as he frowned at you.

“Somebody is having regrets about it.” You responded in turn, smiling sarcastically at him.

“Back to normal, then.” Dina concluded, smiling when the two of you nodded. She didn’t know you all too well, but from the time she had spent with you in Jesse’s infirmary room, she was a fan. You clearly cared about Jesse, way more than you would admit, and she could admire that.

You looked at Jesse, “Back to normal.” He echoed, smiling at you.

You pretended that the sigh you let out wasn’t one of relief.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

“You should really clean this place up, you know.” Jesse commented as you unlocked the door to the pottery shop, his eyes scanning around the room, the chill to the air making him shove his hands in his pockets. He looked at the dust covering the surfaces you usually cut clay on and raised his eyebrows.

“Well, I’ve been a bit busy.” You replied, moving to the newly fixed heater that Tommy had brought over when he walked you back to the shop that very morning.

“Oh, yeah, avoiding me.” Jesse said, grinning mischievously when you shot him an annoyed look over your shoulder, focusing on turning the heater on, placing your freezing hands in front of it when it finally started shooting out some warmth. You sighed at the sting, just glad to feel your hands once again.

You sat down on a dusty stool, turning to Jesse when he sat down beside you, relishing in the heater that was finally working. “Okay, so maybe I’m not the best with… feelings.”

“No kidding,” Jesse snorted, his smile fading when you stared at him, deadpan. “Sorry, go on.”

“But I can say that I do care about you. Sometimes. When you don’t piss me off.” You told him, drawing in a shaky breath that filled your lungs with cold air. “I just… relationships are complicated, you know? And painful, a lot of the time. I didn’t wanna go through that again, I guess, but you’re persistent.”

Jesse smiled as you spoke, somewhat amused by your words, but even you could see the softness to it. The absence of that teasing edge his grin usually held. It was reassuring.

“If this is about Joel—” Jesse attempted, shutting his mouth when you cut him off.

“—It’s not about him.” You interrupted, quickly, the back of your neck feeling hot despite the heater being quite far from you. “Or maybe it is, I don’t know.” You added on, after thinking about it for a second. You generally tried not to think of Joel, or the whole situation with him and Ellie, but could it really have effected you that much? It’s not like Joel was the first person you had lost.

He was the first to walk away without a fight, though.

A small part of you fought that fact, because he came back. Did that not mean anything?

“Can I speak yet?” Jesse asked, a slight teasing lilt to his voice. It brought you out of your thoughts, and you smiled despite the topic at hand. With a nod from you, Jesse went on, “Thanks. I’m just saying, maybe Joel isn’t all that bad. I’m not defending what he did, but the guy clearly cares about you.”

“So I should just— just forgive him? For leaving me?” You asked, looking at Jesse as if he had all the answers.

“I don’t know, that’s up to you,” He said. “Maybe you don’t need to forgive him. Maybe it’s time to just… move on with your life. Forget about what he did, and focus on what he can do. You miss him, don’t you?”

You frowned, looking away from the intensity of Jesse’s gaze. The two of you were friends, yes, and he was the closest friend you’d ever had, maybe besides Ellie. But being so open, it was strange. Likely the effect of the apocalyptic world you lived in, and perhaps it was another difference between that world and the little safe haven of Jackson, Wyoming.

“‘Course I do. He and Tess… they were everything I had.” You replied, your eyebrows creasing at the thought of the woman, at the memory of your life in Boston QZ. It made you realise that it had been a while since Maria had cut your hair, and Tess would’ve chastised you for not reminding her to cut it if you had let it gotten this long in Boston.

It all felt so far away.

When you thought of Tess, your heart ached. Though, it wasn’t quite the same as it had been on your journey with Joel and Ellie. You felt her absence, maybe more than ever, but it wasn’t all bitter. You felt… appreciative of her. She may be gone, but at least you got to have her for a time.

You really wished that she could’ve seen this place, though. You often wondered if she would’ve liked pottery.

Joel would probably know.

“Tess may be gone, but Joel isn’t. Not anymore.” Jesse reminded you, hesitant in his words. You realised that you had never really told him, or anyone, about Tess.

“Y’know, if Tess were here, she’d probably tell me to get over myself,” You laughed at the thought, a sad, watery laugh, but Jesse smiled with you despite not knowing the woman. “She’d kick Joel’s ass, though.”

“Is that even possible? Joel’s like… badass, man.”

“Nobody was more badass than Tess. She was awesome. Used to boss Joel around, all the time, she ran half of the smuggling underground at Boston.” You smiled when Jesse raised his eyebrows, surprised. “And she used to cut my hair. Always told me it was better to keep my hair short, even though she had long hair.”

“Bit hypocritical, isn’t it?” Jesse asked, humour in his words.

You shrugged, “Think she was just trying to keep me safe, in her own way. Tess didn’t want to keep me, to start with. Joel convinced her.”

The more you thought about it, the more you realised that it really was because of Joel that you were allowed to stay with the two of them. You remember hearing them argue on a few occasions, something about a great family that Tess knew nearby. But Joel had never let you go too far.

He’d told you about Tess’s family, though it wasn’t really his place to do so. He had done it in an attempt to comfort you one night when you were young, after you had gotten upset at Tess disregarding you yet again. Joel had explained that she didn’t like getting attached to anybody, especially kids, after she lost her own child. He had told you that it was what they had bonded over, at the start.

“Sounds like this Joel guy really wanted you around, huh?” Jesse said teasingly, only grinning when you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Shut up, you asshole, when the hell did you get all wise?” You asked, glaring at him as he feigned an innocent look. You cracked first, smiling at his expression, feeling a softness to the grin as he matched it with one of his own.

“Distance makes the heart grow wiser, I guess.”

“It’s fonder, Jesse. It makes the heart grow fonder.”

“Shut up, I’m the wise one here.”

You looked at Jesse then, as the two of you shared a laugh, and you wondered if this is how friendship felt before the apocalypse, or if that warm feeling in your chest was exclusive to post-apocalyptic relationships.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

“Didn’t think you’d be coming back here.” Joel commented gruffly as he made his way to the kitchen with a nervous energy about him.

“Me neither,” You said idly, watching him fumble around the kitchen. You wondered if it was just a Miller thing, being terrible in the kitchen. It certainly seemed like something Joel and Tommy had in common, but you hadn’t really thought about it when Joel had asked if you wanted some tea, in a bit of a panic at your presence.

He didn’t say anything in response to that, seemingly mulling your words over. Joel didn’t really know what to make of your presence, certainly not expecting to see you at his front door when he opened it.

“Oh, wait,” You said suddenly, causing him to look over to you in the doorway from where he had been about to put tea in the two mugs in front of him. You pulled your backpack around on your shoulder, digging through it for a moment before pulling out a bag. Joel’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked between you and the bag, waiting for an explanation. “Look.” You said, handing it over to him.

He took the bag, opening it up and unable to help the grin that broke onto his face at the sight of coffee beans, the scent of them immediately soothing some of the man’s tension.

“Where’d you get these?” Joel asked you, his voice lighter than you had heard it since Boston. The sound of it made you grin, despite everything.

“Found ‘em on a patrol, a while ago. Been hiding them from Tommy, so don’t tell him.” You responded, realising that this was probably the lightest conversation you and Joel had held for a very long time. How long had it been?

“Wouldn’t dream of it. He’s a thief, always has been.” Joel said, smiling. “Right, the tea.” He said after a moment, placing the bag of coffee beans beside the mugs he’d set out.

You snickered as you noticed the mugs, grinning as Joel turned to you in question. “Seems like Tommy’s not the only thief in the family.” You said, gesturing toward the white and orange mug he’d placed down, recognising it from the batch you’d given Tommy and Maria.

Joel, at least, had the decency to look slightly embarrassed about stealing the orange coloured owl mug you had made and gifted to his brother. Either that, or embarrassed about getting caught. It had slipped his mind, really, more of a habit to grab it out of the cupboard, considering it was the one he used all the time.

He opened his mouth to try and craft some sort of defence, but felt any words he might’ve had die on his tongue as he turned to you. Seeing you smiling, well, it wasn’t exactly an unfamiliar sight. You often smiled at Tommy and Maria when he caught sight of you with the two of them, hell, you smiled a lot around that friend of yours, Jesse. Joel even remembers the times you would smile back in Boston, even though life in the QZ was much harder than life in Jackson.

But it had been a long time since Joel had seen you smile in his presence.

Each time you and Joel interacted after he had left you behind, your face had a way of falling, of crumpling in on itself before it hardened, staring at him with an expression of stone.

It had his heart aching in his chest, finally seeing you smile around him. He hadn’t realised quite how much he had missed it.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, after he stayed silent for a moment too long, the smile on your face fading into something of confusion. Joel shook himself out of his melancholy thoughts, clearing his throat and offering up his best smile in return.

“Nothin’,” Joel answered. “Nothin’ at all.”

You let his response linger in the air between the two of you for a few moments, and it seemed that the both of you were thinking of how life used to be. You were a long way from Boston.

“I could’ve made you your own, y’know.” You said, after a the silence stretched on, reaching out and picking up the mug he had stolen, looking at all the imperfections that had seemed invisible, all that time ago when you had made it. You’d like to believe you were much better in your craft, now.

“I like this one, just fine.” Joel responded, plucking it from your hands with a raised eyebrow. You snickered at his actions, moving to look around the kitchen, missing the soft grin stretched over the man’s face.

“God, you fixed that?” You asked suddenly, taking a wide step to look at the slight imperfection on the countertop, where you remember carving a deep gash in the material one night by shattering a particularly heavy plate upon the counter. You were almost sure it wasn’t fixable, that perhaps it could look better, but would always be extremely noticeable.

Joel nodded, back to his task of sorting out tea, but spoke when realising you were faced away from him. “Oh, yeah. Took me a couple tries, though.”

You hummed in response, going back to looking around the kitchen that you remembered so well. Most of the damage you had caused on the room had been fixed, which created a strange feeling in your chest, though you couldn’t tell quite what it was. Relief? Disappointment?

It wasn’t as hard to be in this house as you had expected it to be. You were awaiting that crushing feeling in your chest, that emptiness that left your ribs aching. Surprisingly, you felt… light, almost.

Joel didn’t know exactly what to expect.

On one hand, he wanted to feel hopeful, to belief that this would be the beginning of your relationship with him healing. But then on the other hand, he was reminded of just how much he had hurt you, of the tears that had spilled from your eyes when he had left you behind, the grit of your teeth when he had returned. He tried his best not to expect anything at all, to just remain… happy that you were here, in this moment.

Even if there were no other moments like this one.

He tried not to focus on how much that thought hurt.

“You and Ellie settled in, then?” You asked, trying to fill the silence in the room. There was also that part of you that wanted to know, that wanted to know everything.

Joel repressed the sigh that built in his chest. “Gettin’ there. She, uh, she’s had a tough time, but you know Ellie. She loves to be gettin’ into everybody’s business.” He refrained from looking in your direction when he asked you the same question. “You settled in alright here?” He wanted to add more on, but thought it best not to try his luck.

“I guess so.” You responded, thinking of how different your life was now, to how it was back in Boston, or even to how it was when you were on the road with Joel and Ellie. “It was… tough at first, but Tommy and Maria were good to me. And I got the shop, so.”

“And that boy?” Joel asked, trying to remain casual, though you heard the suspicion.

You smiled at his question, at the way he avoided looking at you. Back in Boston, when you had been much, much younger, Joel had tried to get the thought into your brain that boys were bad. He was protective of you, and distrustful towards the world. You couldn’t blame him.

“Jesse? He’s, uh, he’s my best friend.” You told the man, shaking your head at the way his shoulders relaxed the smallest bit. “He’s a good guy, you know. I care about him.”

As protective as Joel was, though he knew that he didnt really have any right to be, he couldn’t deny that it was nice that you had a friend your age. That you could count on someone, could trust someone, out of your immediate circle. He remembers that you had been lonely in the QZ, with only him and Tess for company, nobody your age that you could speak to or trust.

It had been a relief, almost, when you and Ellie had developed a friendship on the journey. Joel only hoped that the two of you could have that again.

“I’m happy for you, kiddo.” Joel responded, the nickname coming out almost like a reflex, like it was involuntary. It was what he had always called you, though, so you weren’t surprised.

“Jesse, uh— it was actually Jesse’s idea for me to come here.” You said, and Joel couldn’t deny the relief that spread through him when you didn’t immediately reject the nickname, or pull away at the sound of it.

Joel floundered for a moment, looking for something to say, eventually settling on uttering a quiet, “Sounds like a smart kid.”

You smiled, taking the mug off of Joel as he finally finished making the tea, avoiding your eyes. “I guess.” You replied, cradling the warm ceramic mug tightly in your hands. “Somehow, he seems to know what I need to hear, before even I know.” You said, humour coating your fond tone.

Joel smiled. “Sounds familiar. Tess was always like that, with me.”

It was one of the first times Joel had openly mentioned her name since she died. For some reason, it made your shoulders feel much lighter, like the burden of not being able to talk about her had been weighing you down.

“I miss her.” You confessed, looking for his reaction.

“I do, too, kiddo.” Joel admitted, his words softer than you had ever heard them. You thought about what it must’ve been like for him, to lose the companion he had held as close as he dared for close to two decades. You couldn’t imagine.

You hesitated, opening your mouth, before closing it again, only going ahead when Joel gave you a reassuring nod. “You knew her much better than I ever did.”

“I suppose.”

“Do you think you could… I don’t know, just— just tell me about her, one day?” You asked, the hope in your words making Joel’s heart ache.

“‘Course. I’ll tell you whatever you’d like to know.” Joel said, smiling gently at you, nodding his head towards the living room, a soft look on his face as he sat down beside you on the couch. “Ask away, kiddo.”

You were quiet for a moment, feeling lighter than you had possibly your whole life. “Do you think she’d like pottery?” You asked, sharing a knowing smile with Joel. He laughed at the concept, something so amusing about the idea of Tess Servopoulos, the renowned smuggling boss, sitting in your shop and making dinnerware.

“If it was with you, I reckon she’d have liked anything.” Joel responded, something truthful to his words.

You smiled, and asked more about her.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller one shot #joel miller imagine #joel miller x platonic!reader #platonic joel miller #platonic joel miller x reader #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller x you #tommy miller imagine #tommy miller one shot #joel miller father figure #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #tommy miller angst #tommy miller fluff #tommy miller father figure #tlou imagine #the last of us imagine #tlou one shot #jesse tlou #heartpascal writes

[i-write-sometimes-maybe]

Celebration- Lady Lesso X NeverFem!Reader (NSFW)

Synopsis: It was a night of many celebrations.

Warnings: SMUT. Alcohol consumption, kinda bratty bottom!reader, top!Lesso, some book descriptions, blindfolds, toys (vibe), denial, overstimulation, fingering, oral, biting, tears, tribbing w/toy, allusions to choking but not really, gets emotional at the end.

Word Count: 6.8k

A/n: Okay if I’m being totally honest, this kinda drags on (not in a bad way) because I have been lacking with motivation for smut, but it makes it’s incredibly intimate, so I’m not entirely complaining. I’ve been wanting to get this out FOR-EVER. Like longer than it should’ve taken. ENJOY 🥰🫶🏻

© This is my work, you have no right to repost my work for any reason without my explicit permission, all rights reserved.

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎

It was a celebration of sorts. The staff was celebrating many things. Goodness prevailed, Rafal had fallen, the schools had joined, and Sophie and Agatha had returned to Gavaldon.

In all fairness, you did enjoy having those girls at the schools, not to get you wrong, but you were more than pleased to not have any antics started by Sophie anymore.

As a Never professor, you should've enjoyed it, but seeing the strain it put on your Dean, it wasn't enjoyable at all.

Lady Lesso had to deal with the newest reader starting things and challenging her, while she also had to deal with her past not only being brought up again but reoccurring.

Because of this, Lesso was not herself. A little rougher with everyone, that part you did enjoy, but there was something hidden within her. And you wanted to know what it was, you wanted to comfort it out of her. To be the one holding her while she sobbed like you knew she desperately needed to.

The triumph of that is what Lesso was celebrating currently. She would've been more angry with Good winning, once again, but she couldn't bring herself to care after all these past few events she had to go through, again. Something about watching it happen to another, hardly able to do anything about it, was almost worse. Almost.

Dovey, on the other hand, was tipsy off of her one drink and bragging about the already-known information to everyone, all the Ever and Never professors. No one cares that Good won again, you merely rolled your eyes.

You desperately wanted to down a few drinks. Not necessarily to get drunk, you were no light-weight, but enough to make this little 'celebration' fun. But instead, you were just standing off to the side, people-watching as your first shot went un-sipped and warming in your hand.

And by people-watching, you were watching one person. Watching how Lesso smoothly drank her clean whiskey on the rocks, downing it a little sooner than she probably should. You wouldn't admit just how impressed you were with the way she handled her alcohol, downing each drink and acting as if she was drinking mere water.

You hid your slight panic when Lesso made eye contact with you. Her eyes darting to the glass in your hand and back to your eyes with a single eyebrow raised.

How'd she know that you haven't drunk anything yet tonight? Was she watching you the same way you were her? You didn't think you were being that obvious.

It was now or never.

Instead of making a fool of yourself, trying to come up with an excuse, you decided to just drink it. You weren't a giggly drunk, or a mean drunk, or the runaway drunk. No no, what you were was almost worse, at least according to you.

You raised your glass in her direction, feigning a toast, and downing it in an instant. You didn't quite catch how Lesso observed each move of yours as you downed the liquid, watching as a droplet of liquor dribbled from your chin and down your exposed chest, all thanks to the low-cut dress you decided on.

How you didn't notice her eyes glued onto you as you took one of your fingers and swiped up the alcohol from your breasts and delicately sucked it clean in a moment, she'll never know.

It was almost instantaneous, the moment the alcohol hit. It didn't make you dizzy or nauseous, no, it made you unbelievably horny. You still had your entire self-control, that wasn't the problem. You weren't a handsy drunk, you were simply a horny drunk. Not even a horny drunk, seeing as it happens with just one drink.

You couldn't tell if the immediate flush on your cheeks was from the alcohol, embarrassment, horniness, or the way Lesso was still looking at you.

It was probably the combination of all of them.

You set the shot glass down and tried to look away, knowing that if you kept looking at her or if you had another drink, it wouldn't help your situation.

The liquor went straight to your center the moment the liquid went into your stomach. An almost uncomfortable heat starts between your legs and spreading everywhere else.

This really wasn't the time or place for this, there was a reason you only drank in your quarters or why you quickly left when you did drink.

You tried to not think about your predicament, to not think about Lesso, but that was proven impossible as she made her way in front of you. Little did you know, your sudden uncomfortable shifting was obvious.

"Is there a problem, darling?" At first, Lesso was truly a little concerned but it shifted into something more when she noticed your thighs squeezing together at the pet name.

"Oh, not at all, I'm all good. Just, trying to make some fun with this so-called 'party'."

Her signature smirk appeared on her face, "I can help with that."

With a pulse sent to your already aching pussy, you would've sworn it was the alcohol. But you only had one shot, no way were you already imagining things. You can handle your liquor better than that.

"Wha-?" You thought that maybe neither of you was thinking straight, but that was quickly disproven too.

She leaned closer to your ear, not helping your issue in the slightest of ways, "I can help you with your little... situation."

A low chuckle emitted from her when your thighs squeezed again accompanied by an almost undetectable thrust of your hips, almost.

You smirked as well, seeing her smirk and hearing the melodious chuckle, reaching out to grab the lapel of her blazer and pulling her even closer to you, "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Oh my pet, I intend to keep it." She pulled back to look at you once again, matching lustful looks on both of your faces.

Silent words were exchanged as she just grabbed your hand. Of course, you allowed her to pull you from the ever-dying celebration.

The walk back to her quarters was unbearably long. The remnants of your self-control had snapped once her door was closed.

You reached out for Lesso's tie again, this time wrapping it around your hand before using it as leverage to pull her closer to you. Your confidence increased tenfold when you saw how her pupils increased from your little action.

Lesso decided that the time you took to examine her sultry eyes was too long, no longer wasting time she pulled you into a bruising kiss.

You could tell with the way her lips moved on yours that she had been wanting this too, for at least as long as you have.

A breathy moan was immediately consumed by the redhead as soon as it escaped your throat, all due to Lesso biting down on your bottom lip, the action causing the wet spot in your panties to grow even more.

Lesso moved you back, pressing you against the wall, and placed her hand by your head, effectively pinning you to your spot, though you had no desire to leave.

She pulled back from you just enough to get a quick look at your now-flushed face, "My beautiful pet."

Before you could even think of some sort of response, she reattached her lips to your jaw, slowly moving them down toward your neck.

You wanted to whine at the speed she was moving but your excitement and the anticipation unknowingly stopped you.

You need to feel her, to have her against you, persuaded your actions as you reached out to hold onto her waist, just to have her as close as possible to you.

The closeness you two were currently sharing wasn't enough, you needed more of her. Just as her lips had made their way to the nape of your neck, you began pulling the blazer off her shoulders. A chuckle came from her at your eagerness, but all you could think of was that you wanted to feel more of her.

It was driving you mad.

When Lesso pulled away from you to drop the blazer, you allowed an audible whine to escape. Her deep amethyst eyes were looking into yours, causing you to get lost for a moment.

"Tell me what you want," She spoke softly, her tone sending chills across your skin.

You tugged her waist further against you, "More," You were beginning to be breathless, the anticipation becoming overwhelming.

"Tell me exactly." She continued to pry.

You bit back your desperate sigh, knowing that none of your noises would sway her into simply giving in to you. No matter how much she loved hearing them, or how badly she wanted to hear more. No matter how badly she already wanted you.

"I want to feel you. I want you to touch every part of me, make me fall apart. Make me yours." Your last statement was a mere whisper as you moved your lips to rest near her ears.

She may be the one who's currently in control, but she can't rid you of your confidence. Not that she'd ever want to.

She hummed, the same torturous smirk coming to her face, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you've imagined this unfolding before?" It wasn't a question, you knew that.

You tilted your head, "Well, do you?"

"Do I what?"

You smirked this time, "Know better?" Gods, the things she was going to do to you.

Her smirk turned nearly sadistic as she stayed unmoving, you began to fear maybe you crossed a line but that thought was diminished as she reached behind you to slowly unzip your dress.

You wanted to complain about the speed she was pulling the zip, knowing you could've been bare before her eyes with magic, but something about the way she looked into your eyes as she was doing it was oddly intimate. Yeah, you definitely weren't complaining.

Nothing about her wavered as she moved to pull the straps off your shoulders, the chill in the room finally running through you. But it was her touch that sent a shiver down your spine, the anticipation beginning to be overwhelming.

The dress fell off your torso with ease but caught on your waist. The dress, luckily, wasn't too fitted so with a little bit of your help it quickly fell the rest of the way to the floor.

Lesso wouldn't admit just how at a loss for words she was when she saw you, her throat going dry yet her mouth watered with her desires.

A few of your insecurities rose forward as she stayed unmoving, still staring at you, but all of your worries diminished when she spoke.

"You, are absolutely stunning," Butterflies filled your stomach with just how breathless she spoke those words.

You were left standing in a sheer black-lace bra, with matching panties, leaving not a single thing to the imagination.

"It's your turn, I think it's only fair." Your voice was just above a whisper, knowing that if you were any louder your voice would likely waver.

She played into it, leaning back slightly to watch you as your eyes raked over her. You couldn't decide what you wanted off of her first, you knew you wanted it all off. You decided on the vest, mainly cause that was the next thing standing between you and her bare skin.

You looked directly into her eyes as you popped one, two, and then the third and final button of the vest. You continued to watch as Lesso pulled it off her shoulders and let the garment drop to the floor next to her blazer.

Just as her hands went to the bottom of her button-up, you stopped her with your hands on hers.

"Wait! Let me, please let me." With a smirk, Lesso released the fabric, moving her hands back to the wall beside your head.

You pulled her closer to you with the loops on her trousers before untucking the shirt. Your eyes couldn't leave your hands as you watched, slowly more of her perfect body and porcelain skin was revealed. You could feel the anticipation making your head spin. But as your eyes remained on your task, Lesso's eyes stayed on you.

She loved how she could see the desire within them, the desire for her. Never, not once, has she ever felt more wanted than she has with you. You may not have realized it, but she noticed every single glance you threw her way, how could she not?

You still couldn't tear your eyes away from her, even once the the shirt was fully open, your eyes roamed across every part of her. A part of you was not at all surprised that she chose to abandon the common bra and go with the more comfortable sports bra.

A small smile formed on your lips as you noticed freckles on her chest, and a few peeking out from under the button-up on her shoulders, that was another thing that you didn't notice Lesso saw.

Lesso was taken by surprise as you swiftly pulled her flush against you, you wanted to feel her against you too bad to wait any longer. Taking advantage of this new position, you started leaving kisses on Lesso's neck, the sensation causing a hum to come from her. Chills had erupted across your skin, and unknown to you, across Lesso's as well, as you finally felt how perfect her skin felt on you.

You craved to hear all of the other noises she could make, that you could cause. And once you stepped out of your dress, you knew that Lesso gave in to her cravings as well.

She was no longer wasting time as she pulled you across the room to the awaiting bed, still perfectly made. That is, until Lesso's knees came into contact with the edge of the bed, prompting her to sit down. Her hands slowly ran up your sides as you moved to straddle her.

Though neither of you noticed, nor cared enough in the moment to pay attention to it, you knew that from this point forward neither of you would be able to go without one another. The addictive touch she laid against your sensitive skin, the chills she erupted just by the ghosting of her breath, you wouldn't be able to go without it now that you're aware of how thrilling it is.

Just as her lips came back to your neck, your arms involuntarily wrapped around her own neck to pull her closer against you, the feeling of her suckling your skin to leave a mark caused a breathy moan to escape you.

And boy, did that moan just snap the last remaining control Lesso had. In a blink, she had switched positions to where you were laid against her bed, hair sprawled out on the duvet and face beginning to flush, that was a scene she'd devote to memory.

"Gods, the things I'd do to you." Her eyes roamed over you once more.

It had been a hefty moment since you said something smart in return, you tsked, "You keep making promises, but I've yet to see results."

Lesso's eyes shot to yours at your audacity, only to see your eyes blown with lust. She'd be lying if she said this didn't have any effect on her.

"Oh, pet. We've only just begun."

You wrapped your legs around her waist, the slight friction was enough to make your breath hitch, gods you were so fucking desperate, "You're still wearing more clothes than me." You quirked your eyebrow, watching as a smirk slowly came to her face.

Instead of simply untangling you from her, she pushed your legs further up her waist. You had a slight pout when you realized it was your body that was obstructing your view of her unbuttoning her trousers and sliding them off. But your pout didn't last too much longer, not once you began to feel more of her soft skin against yours.

You had to fight back any possible sounds that you could've released as you saw her crawl back up you after releasing your legs from her, the way she did so was almost primal, stopping just at chest level. Your eyes could help but flutter a bit once you felt the warmth of her trailing kisses all across your chest.

Your hands instantly came up to her head, entangling in her fiery locks as she startled suckling on a spot just below your collarbone. A hum involuntarily came from you as you felt her hand roam up your side.

Just as her lips started trailing further down your chest, her free hand moved to your hip to steady herself. The moment she squeezed your hip was the moment she nipped the exposed top of your breast, just peaking from the top of your bra. The sensation was soft yet intense enough to make your head spin.

The near-silent whimper and tightening of your grip on her hair certainly didn't go unnoticed by the Dean.

"Pet, if you want something, you need to speak." You practically felt her words on your skin as she just barely lifted herself from you.

You took a stuttering breath, anticipation taking over your thoughts, "Gods, please, I need more,"

"Mmm, very good," She left one final nip to your skin before pulling back.

Lesso adored how much you were squirming, but she could tell you were trying to keep yourself from moving too much. And she unknowingly made it her mission to see just how much she can make you squirm, after all, she's just barely touched you.

She finally reached behind you for the clasp of your bra, able to do so with your back being slightly arched in attempts for more contact. The moment your breasts were freed, Lesso was transfixed. She would've taken longer to admire how the cold air caused your nipples to nearly instantly harden, but her desire to finally taste you was too strong.

She quickly decided that she was done wasting time, that she would take her tastes and bites with pleasure, hoping to soon see you fall apart. Sure, it was your pleasure, but it was her selfish need to watch her cause it. To hear you call her name as you finally come on her fingers and tongue.

A small moan left your lips the moment you felt her lips wrap around your left nipple, the sound becoming slightly louder as you felt her tongue swipe over the sensitive bud. Your hand moved to her waist, pulling her weight on top of you. Lesso didn't mind too much as it allowed her greedily to feel more of you.

You could feel your arousal becoming increasingly harder to ignore, and you just knew that you had long soaked your panties. Lesso had switched to your other nipple, knowing that she couldn't go without giving attention to both.

Lesso moved to the valley between your breasts, leaving a mark and starting a trail down to your navel. While this would've been plenty to make you even more desperate, her hands moved to where your thighs met your cunt, yet she never quite reached where you wanted her.

"Fuck! Leo, please!" Tears of frustration were starting to arise, "No more teasing!"

Something else ignited within the redhead at hearing the breathless whisper of her name.

"Say it again, say my name again."

"Please, Leo,"

She smirked, "Oh, how I love my name sounds coming from your desperate mouth." She nipped your hip, before pulling back and looking at you.

You thought you were going to get another remark or even some more teasing, but you were pleased to see and feel as she curled her fingers under the waistline of your panties and pulled them down your thighs, practically ripping them off past your knees and tossing them off to the side.

Lesso nearly moaned herself at the sight of you being completely soaked.

"It's all for you," You spoke breathlessly, watching how Lesso licked her lips before staring directly into your eyes.

"Oh pet, it better be all for me,"

You smirked at her tone, "Uh huh, and what if it wasn't?"

She got up to her knees and gripped your thighs, yanking you down the bed, you were nearly eye-level with her. The look on her face almost made you want to take it back.

"I'll show you." Your stomach filled with nervousness and excitement at that statement.

Before you could even realize, in the time of a blink, she was back between your legs. She swiftly pried your legs apart and pulled one over her shoulder.

It's like with your words, she had to prove you wrong. That she knew she'd have to ruin anyone else for you, anyone else but her. But she didn't have to try that hard, you didn't even think of anyone else but her already.

Your head fell back against the bed at the first swipe of her tongue, gods you were so fucking desperate.

A whole moan finally left your lips and your hands flew to Lesso's hair as she started devouring you as if you were her last meal for the next millennia. Her hands were wrapped around you and laid against your hips, her grip unrelenting and you knew you'd have marks to remember this time for days to come. Not like you were complaining.

Her tongue was expertly gliding over your clit, as if it already knew all of the spots that caused you to squirm. The suction and swirling combination she did stole the breath from your lungs.

"Fuck! Don't stop!" Your back arched further off the bed and Lesso could feel your pathetic attempt to close your thighs, it was blatantly obvious you were so close to your orgasm.

That blissful orgasm that you knew only Lesso would be able to bring. The very same orgasm she ripped from you as she stopped her ministrations.

You whined, tears of frustration brimming your eyes, "Fuck! Why?!"

"All for me, right?"

Your pleasure-clouded mind wasn't thinking straight, "What?!" Your back collapsed against the bed, your eyes searching hers for an answer before she spoke.

"Tell me, it's all for me. Tell me, that this pretty pussy only gets soaked for me. Tell me that you're all mine." She was looking square at you, her eyes going more dark with each word she spoke.

"Yes! It's for you!" She responded with a bite to your inner thigh, and a wince escaped you.

"Not good enough. Again."

"It's all for you, always for you," You paused to think about the words she said. "This pussy is yours. I'm yours."

A pleased smirk graced her face and she returned to your throbbing cunt again, she could taste your desperation, but she couldn't wait to taste your come.

Her tongue was swirling around your clit like it previously had, slowly building up your peak once more.

Just as your fingers threaded through her fiery hair again, her fingers started tracing your entrance.

"Please! More!" She didn't have to be told twice.

Two fingers instantly slipped into your pussy, all thanks to you being completely soaked. Lesso had never heard a more delicious sound before than at this moment. She couldn't find it within her to do anything that would potentially stop you from making more of those sounds.

She started thrusting her fingers at a generous speed, never ceasing her actions on your clit. Gods know you were nearly seeing white as she did so. One of your hands began fisting the sheets beside you, and you would've sworn you had torn them.

"Yes, Leo!" Your moans were motivation enough to keep her going, to ignore the strain of her jaw and tongue and ignore any possible burn in her forearm.

She had begun curling her fingers, instantly hitting the right spot within. And after a few brief moments, she could feel your thighs begin to quiver under her.

Just as you were about to voice your impending orgasm was about to arrive, she stopped. She didn't ease out of it, she pulled back.

The tears had finally fallen, "No! Fuck! Come on, please let me come!" You begged.

You begging with tears down your face was now Lesso's favorite thing.

"I told you, we've only just begun."

It may have only just started, but damn did you want to come. You still couldn't squeeze your thighs to relieve some of the desperation as her grip on your thighs hadn't eased.

You knew that what you were about to say would get you your way, "Please, I wanna come. I wanna come for you."

Lesso's eyes would've darkened more at that sentence if it was possible, you saw as she tried to bite back another smirk as she swallowed. You saw her head turn back to your thigh and you knew you had won as her tongue peeked out to taste your mid-thigh, trailing up back to your dripping cunt.

She resumed once again, continuing to swirl the tip of her tongue over your clit. You hoped that this would finally be it, that this would be when she finally let you come. You knew that this would be the hardest you've come in a while, if ever.

Your moans hadn't ceased since she returned to your needy pussy, and they only got louder as she inserted her fingers again. She was unforgiving in the way she wasted no time to gradually speed up her fingers, instantly going the pace and curling her fingers the same way that swiftly brought you to your near high earlier.

And just like before, it didn't take too long for you to get close once again. Your neediness with her speed and skill caused you to return to the edge of your orgasm quickly.

"I'm gonna come, please don't stop! I wanna come for you!" Your words were beyond rushed, hoping she wouldn't deny you again. Your grip on her hair became stronger, just as the shaking in your legs did.

Lesso did nothing this time but hum. You took that as her approval, that and the fact that she didn't pull away or stop again. You bit onto your bottom lip as your body tensed, though you quickly released it as you finally came with a curse and Lesso's name. Your orgasm hit you harder than a tsunami would meet land.

"Oh, fuck, Leo!" Your back finally had a chance to relax as your body fell flush against the bed.

Lesso slowly stopped her actions, allowing you a moment to calm yourself without stopping the pleasure too suddenly.

She started leaving more love bites along your inner thighs before she pulled back and looked at you.

"Do you trust me?"

It took you a moment to catch your breath, "What? Why?"

"Do you, trust me?" She annunciated.

"Yes, I do."

"Excellent." She said nothing else but summoned a black silk tie, which you assumed was one of the ones she frequently adorned. "This will go over your eyes," Excitement distracted your neediness.

"Say 'red' and I stop, got it?" She crawled up your body, moving to straddle your waist and you took a moment to steal a glance of her perfect body.

"Got it." She smiled and reached down, setting the tie over your eyes.

Soon, your vision went black. You felt her tie the tie behind your head and you couldn't wait to see what she would do next.

But she got up. You wondered if she was simply standing, observing your needy and pathetic self squirming on her bed all sprawled out and waiting for her. But you heard the sound of a drawer sliding open, you tried your best to hear any other clues as to what was about to take place but it was nearly silent.

Suddenly after a few moments, you felt her hands roam across your body. Slowly her hands worked their way from your thighs to your hips, up to your chest where they only stayed on your breast for a moment, much to your displeasure. Her hands continued up until one of them lightly wrapped around your throat. Only the slightest of pressure was added, but Lesso was beyond pleased to hear a whimper come from you at that action.

Her hand stayed in its place, the pressure in which it was wrapped around you increased slightly as you realized she was beginning to straddle you again. You registered that in the moment she was gone, she stripped the rest of the way as you felt her own wetness come into contact with your lower stomach.

"So beautiful," She whispered for the second time this night.

Her hand moved from your throat as she moved to be kneeling between your legs, but it didn't land anywhere else on you. You strained your ears to hear any hints and what she could have been doing.

But, you didn't have to strain too hard before you heard the start of a buzz, and you knew what was to come. But the idea of Lesso having one came to mind, the idea of Lesso bare on her bed using one caused a whimper to come from you and wetness to start dripping down your thighs.

"Oh, god!" You nearly screamed as the vibrator was pressed against your sensitive clit.

The vibrator brought you back to your high nearly instantly, all thanks to it being on full power and you being incredibly sensitive and desperate. You knew you couldn't take it if she took this orgasm from you again.

"Oh, fuck!" Your back arched to the point where your neck wasn't in contact with the bed any longer. "Please don't stop, I'm so close!"

"I'm not going to stop," Her eyes raked over you, loving how a layer of sweat adorned your perfectly heated skin. "If you're going to come, come."

With her near demand and the continuous stimulation, you couldn't resist. You screamed her name as you saw white. You tried searching for her to hold onto, but in the half second you tried and failed you simply relented to grip the sheets once more.

You couldn't catch your breath, the vibrator still being firmly pressed against your abused clit no matter how much your hips bucked at the stimulation.

"I-I can't-"

"I told you, I'm not going to stop." You didn't see it, but you could hear the smirk in her voice.

One hand stayed attached to the sheets but your other reached down in attempts to shun the friction from your cunt, just to give you a moment to breathe. But Lesso's free hand grabbed your wrist and moved your hand above your head.

"That stays there." Her time left no room to argue.

The vibrator stayed on your swollen clit, your thighs began to shake again but this time, not from denial. You felt Lesso grab one of your legs and move it atop hers and her other leg swung over you. It took you a moment but once you heard a delicious moan of her own, you finally pieced together the position you were now in, both of your hips were nearly connected.

Lesso couldn't ignore her own need anymore, she had moved you around her so she could have access to the vibrator too. And the mental image of this position, her between your legs and the vibrator pressed against both of your clits, just pushed you that much closer to the edge.

"Leo, I-I'm close again!" You were surprised that words managed to come out as you were so breathless.

Another moan came from the redhead, seeing your orgasm is one thing but this one, she'll get to feel it too, "Wait, wait for me."

And oh dear gods did that single sentence give you the willpower to hold off long enough so that you would get to come with her. You realized with this willpower came overwhelming pained pleasure.

Lesso was getting close to her own orgasm, rocking her hips into the vibrator. Each increase in pressure almost sent you over the edge but you'd be damned if you didn't get to come with her.

"You ready, pet?"

"Yes! Yes! I wanna come with you!"

"Go on, come pet," She was breathless too.

"Oh shit!" Your legs shook a bit harder and your hips bucked again.

That buck being the final push to send Lesso over the edge too. Your name falling from her lips luckily didn't go unnoticed by you, even in your near-blacked-out state.

You tiredly attempted to pull yourself up the bed, "Can't. Too much." You tried to speak, but your voice and body were weak.

Your body still had residual shakes as you heard the vibrator shut off and as the blindfold was removed.

You felt the bed beside you dip and you processed that Lesso was hovering over you. You looked at the care-filled face of the Dean for a moment before trying to focus on catching a breath.

You felt her hands come to your thighs, but before you could protest anymore for the night, her hands began massaging your twitching thighs.

There was a comforting silence that was shared between the two of you for a moment, Lesso still opting to bring sensation back to your legs.

You were finally starting to come back, you realized as your thoughts became more clear. And she realized too as your eyes began to look around more and lose their clouded appearance.

"How are you feeling?" Her soft voice was just above a whisper.

You looked from the side to her, seeing concern laced in her features, "I'm feeling damn good if I'm being honest."

She couldn't help but chuckle at that, knowing you had finally come back to her.

"Good, I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." She added as she stood off the bed.

"Don't think I could if I wanted to." You simply responded, earning laughter from the Dean.

She was very much aware that you likely wouldn't be able to move, which is precisely why she got up to get the rag to clean you up with.

She returned with a damp cloth, wiping your sweat-covered face and chest before moving between your legs. The events left a mess all over your thighs, nearly to your knees, which is a first for you. Again, not like you were complaining. Lesso abruptly looked at your face when you winced the moment the cloth came into contact with your beyond-sensitive clit.

Lesso got rid of the cloth, still looking to find something that may soothe you.

"Are you thirsty? Would you like something to eat?" You smiled as she pushed some of your hair away from your face.

"I'm all good, I'd rather be close with you if you don't mind?"

"Of course, I don't mind," She said as she got back on the bed beside you. "We will have to shower tomorrow at least, we absolutely smell of sex."

You chuckled this time, "All thanks to you."

Lesso only had a playful eye roll as a response. You shuffled closer to her, wrapping your arm around her waist. You both still enjoyed the feeling of each other's skin on your own.

The moment was calm, neither of you quite ready for sleep as energy surprisingly still coursed through your veins. You delicately ran your finger over her side, a kind action that Lesso was certainly not used to.

Your mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Lesso, partly replaying the amazingly wild events that just took place, but mostly of her reserved behavior. Well, more reserved behavior. You knew that something wasn't right and you not only wanted to know what but you also wanted her to know that you're here to listen.

You moved your face up to see her a little better, watching for a moment as she stared up at the ceiling with a nearly undetectable smile on her face.

"What are you thinking about?" You inquired.

"Nothing, nothing at all." That was all she said.

You had allowed a few minutes to go by, mainly so you didn't possibly ruin the moment with your conversation, but you couldn't go any longer without addressing your thoughts.

"How are you doing?"

Lesso scoffed, beginning to sit up and sat on the edge of the bed. That response told you everything you needed to know, she wasn't doing alright.

You stopped her before she could stand up, "Look, I'm sorry if I crossed a line or if you don't want to share but I thought it would help. I know something is not right. And if you don't want to talk about it, I won't make you. But, I'm here for you if you do."

She looked over her pale shoulder at you, and you could see the start of a tear gleam in her eyes, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you actually care."

"Well, do you?"

"Do I what?" The Déjà Vu hit both of you at the moment she spoke.

"Know better."

She scoffed again, but this one was different.

"I do care." You added.

"I just, never thought I'd have to endure something like that again. So, I pushed it all down and-" She cut herself off and shook her head.

"Talk to me, please?" You sat up with her, ignoring the way your legs protested. "I hate seeing you hold this in."

She relented, laying back down on the bed, trying hard to not get close to you like she desperately wanted to, "I pushed all the memories down. 'Out of sight, out of mind', right? But all this just made me realize I wasn't okay, I guess."

You were at a loss for words at her confession, a part of you knew that's what was bothering her, but hearing it and hearing her emotions coating her words was entirely different from your expectations.

Since you had no words, you simply just laid back down beside her and pulled her onto you. Her arm instantly wrapped around your waist as she buried her face in your neck.

"I may not know exactly what you've been through, but I do know that you won't have to go through that ever again. Not while I'm around." You spoke with certainty as your hand returned to her hair, your nails lightly scratching her scalp.

A soft kiss was placed where her lips lay against your neck, "I know." You weren't sure how she knew, but you were glad to hear that she fully believed the words she just spoke.

"No matter what you go through, from now on you won't ever have to go through it alone. I promise you that." You were so disappointed that an amazing woman like Lesso had to go through so much all by herself, going through hardships alone.

She may be the Dean of Evil but she didn't deserve that, no one does.

"You can't really promise something like that." She whispered.

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere. Everything you go through, I'll be with you for it. You've already marked me and you can't it back." You gestured to your body, now covered in love bites thanks to the redhead.

You felt lighter at the sound of her laughter, "Okay, okay. You make a good point." You could feel her smile against your skin.

"I usually do." You planted a kiss on her hairline.

At this moment, with the admissions now in the air, you knew that though the future may not be set in stone you also knew that you'd be alongside Lesso. The way you both just poured your all into each other finally caused you to be calm enough to feel tired.

Your body feels full exhaustion, Lesso fully relaxed against you.

"I think it's time we get some sleep." You suggested as you summoned a light blanket to lay over your bodies, you knew that neither of you wanted to get up but you needed to be covered.

"Mm, me too." You would've pulled her closer to you if it were possible, so instead you just strengthened your grip on her.

Lesso may be this Evil being to everyone else, but she knew you never really saw her as that. And now she knew that you saw her for who she was. That you saw the humanity within her, and for that, she couldn't be more grateful. In the few moments before she gave into sleep, she vowed that she'd do everything in her power to make sure you'd know that she was there for you in the same way you were for her. She vowed that you'd never have to wonder if you're worth it.

But both of you vowed that the other would never have to be alone again, that you'd have the other beside you through it all.

🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮

Taglist: @inlovewithgreta @v3nusxsky @just-your-casual-nerd @pebbleswritessometimes @hxzxrdous @bigolgay @scream-queenlover @darkth1ngs @sgelessoanddoveykissing @i-like-reading

#charlize theron #lady lesso #lady lesso x reader #sapphic #leonora lesso #leonora lesso x reader #lesso smut #lesso x reader #soft lady lesso #lesso x reader smut #lady leonora lesso #sge netflix #sge #sge fanfiction #sge movie #sfge #sfgae #lesbian smut #wlw smut #smut #fanfic #oneshot

[strniohoeee]

Dolor

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader💌

Synopsis: Y/N can sense that Chris and hers relationship might not last. When they talk will they work it out, or call it quits?🫂

Warnings⚠️: None, I was just feeling a sad Chris imagine today 🥹 shit lowkey made me tear up….it do be hitting home

Song for the imagine: Changes- XXXTENTACION

You’re changing, I can’t stand it

My heart can’t take this damage

And the way I feel, can’t stand it

Everyone knew….everyone saw it, but I chose to ignore it. Not wanting to come to terms with how Chris and I’s relationship was truly going. We were dating for two years at this point, and it just wasn’t the same. Chris was no longer mine….we just weren’t meant for each other.

This started within the last 2 months, Chris just started being different, and I feel like we almost grew apart? I was always with him and his brothers, but it just wasn’t right I wanted us to go back to normal? I’m not sure what I wanted honestly

It really started to make me question what was going on between us when their fans started commenting on their videos, their posts, my posts….making edits, and assuming things about our relationship. It made me physically sick….if it was clear as day to their fans why couldn’t I just come to terms with it?

There wasn’t any anger towards one another, but there just wasn’t any of that love we used to have….our honeymoon phase was finally over, 2 years later….. I just couldn’t let Chris go. He was all I had…he was all I ever wanted, but I knew it was coming soon.

I knew Chris was going to break up with me at some point. As a woman you just know when a man no longer has interest in you, and it broke my fucking heart.

Currently I was at the triplets house, and I just sensed this vibe from Chris all day. He was constantly in thought and anxious, and it made me sick to my stomach. I know what he was thinking, what he was plotting, how he wanted to go about it, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him. I wasn’t sure if his brothers knew because it didn’t seem that way, but man I have never wanted to disappear more than in this moment.

I was watching Chris in the kitchen pacing back and forth, deep in thought. God I hated this, he was so unhappy with our relationship, and trying to make it work, and here I was dragging him along forcing him to do something he doesn’t want to.

Chris had finally walked down to his room, but before going down he looked over at me…..no emotions, no smile, no warmth, his eyes looked saddened and burdened like he was fighting himself to talk to me. I looked into his eyes, and looked away. I couldn’t sit here and hurt myself

About five minutes later my phone vibrated with a text from Chris

My Baby🐣

-Hey, could you come to my room I want to talk

My heart sank…I felt a lump in my throat begin to form. I just wished in that moment I was not in this position, that I didn’t know Chris, and that I didn’t put myself through this for two years.

Reluctantly I got up, telling Nick and Matt I was going down to talk to Chris. I headed down the steps and walked to his room….not wanting to enter, but I took a deep breath and walked in shutting the door behind me

He was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands…make this stop….take this pain away from us

I sat down next to him hoping he’d start talking first. I felt this overbearing feeling of nausea

“I’m so sorry” he said finally looking up

“You don’t have to be…I know where this is going” I said looking over at him

“I just….I just think we shouldn’t be together anymore” he said finally looking at me

“I had a feeling” I said rubbing my lips together in anxiety

“I just feel like we’ve grown apart. I feel like what we had was amazing and I’ll cherish every moment. You were the best thing to happen to me in my whole life, and I love you so fucking much, but I just feel like we’d be better off separate” he said getting tears in his eye

“I should’ve known sooner when everything changed. I’m sorry for that, sorry for not allowing you to feel safe enough to come to me sooner, and express how you felt” I said to him allowing my eyes to get watery

“This isn’t your fault okay. We are humans you know, we grow apart, and although it may suck it’s what’s best for us” he said letting tears falls

“I just love you so much this is hard Chris” I said letting my tears fall too

“I love you so much, okay? I’m just not in love with you anymore” he said sniffling

My heart shattered at those words. The only guy I’ve ever loved, and he’s telling me he fell out of love with me

“I just don’t understand how we got here” I said wiping my nose

“It’s normal. People grow apart, relationships end that’s just how life works, and it’s not fair, but everything happens for a reason” he said wiping his nose

“I know Chris, it’s just hard I’ve loved you for so long, and now we will no longer be together” I said crying a bit harder

“I’m so sorry, I need you to know that you’re the woman I want to want. You have no idea how badly I want that to be you” he said looking down and shaking his head while crying

“I know…and that’s okay” I said in a whisper

“It’s just I’m going to keep pursuing what I’m pursuing, and you’ll be doing what you want, and we just won’t have time for each other, and this will cause us to resent each other. I’d much rather break it off now than to ever grow any form of hate in my heart for you, okay?” He said rubbing my back and crying with me

“Yes…yes I know, and I’m so glad that you’re doing what’s best for you, but this is going to be so fucking hard. I don’t know that I can let you go” I said breaking down even more, choking out broken sobs

“You will okay baby, you will hurt and so will I, but we’re both strong and we will be okay. We will survive this, and who knows it could be the right person at the wrong time. But without taking this break we will not know this” he said wiping his nose again

“I love you Chris. I love you so fucking much” I said sobbing

“I love you, and I will always love you. You will always be my number one girl. You will always be in my life no matter what, but for now we have to take this time away from one another” he said pulling me in to side hug him

“Yes Chris. We will be okay, I will be okay. I will keep it pushing for you. You will always have my heart, and I hope that you eventually see a future with me” I said hugging his arm that was wrapped around me

“But for now you have to let me go, you have to let me let you go. I need you to do that for me” he said pulling away

I leaned away, keeping my head down and nodding. I finally lifted my head up to look into his red eyes

“Okay I can do that for you” I said crying

“You will always be my girl okay. You are my life, and I love you so much” he said smiling at me

“You’ll always be my number one guy. I love you so much” I said smiling back at him

He pulled me in for a hug, and one last kiss

“I’m going to miss you” I said pulling away from him

“I’m going to miss you too, and I hope we’ll eventually cross paths. If you ever need me just know I’m here for you okay. I will always be just one call away. I hope in a few months time we can hang out again as friends” he said smiling at me

“I hope we cross paths too, and I hope we can continue this friendship in the future” I said wiping my eyes

“We will..I’m never not seeing you again” he said laughing a little bit

“I love you” I said looking into his eyes as I choked on my words a bit

“I love you too” he said giving me a reassuring smile

“Should we tell your fans? I won’t be in the videos or with you guys anymore” I asked him

“Only if you want to” he said

“I think we should. Maybe uh you can make a post about it tomorrow, and then I will too” I said nodding at him

“That’s fine with me” he said standing up from his bed

“Okay cool. I uh think we should tell Matt and Nick” I said

“Yeah we should” he said

We both left his room, and walked to the living room where Nick and Matt were.

“Hey guys” Chris said

“Hey you guys okay?” Matt asked

“Um yeah. We just wanted to let you know that we broke up” Chris said

“Oh…” They both said

“Uh yeah it’s for the best, and we’ve decided to full on break apart, so I’m going to be taking time away from you guys as a whole” I said to them

“We’re going to miss you so much” Nick said looking sad

“I’m going to miss you guys too, but maybe we’ll eventually see each other” I said trying not to cry

“We will. I hope nothing but the best for you guys” Matt said smiling at me

I looked at them before fully breaking down

“I love you guys so much, and please never forget me okay” I said crying

“We would never. We love you so fucking much” Nick said getting up and running over to hug me, Matt getting up and joining us in a group hug

We all pulled apart, teary eyed and sad

“I love you guys, and I’ll be seeing you soon. I’m going to head out now” I said wiping my eyes

“We love you, and always reach out to us for anything” Matt said

“I will. Thank you guys so much” I said waving at them

“I’ll walk you out” Chris said wiping his eyes

“Okay” I said giving him a weak smile

Chris walked me down to my car before giving me one last hug, and then he pulled away

“I guess this is bye for now” I said, unlocking my car, and sitting in it. Closing my door and turning the car on and rolling my window down

“It’s not bye, it’s see you later” Chris said wiping his tears again

I smiled at him putting my car in reverse

“I’ll see you later then Chris” I said to him slowly backing up

“I’ll see you around” he said trying to give me a reassuring smile

“See you” I said giving him one last smile before rolling up my window, and backing out his driveway, and then driving down the road

Leaving behind the man I’ve loved for two years, the man who was my everything. Just completely driving out of his life and potentially never seeing him again. Of course we would love to see each other again, but that could be 1 year from now or 10 years from now….I allowed myself to break down in my car. This was going to be so fucking hard.

The next day Chris and I decided that he would make the post and collab it with me, so I can share it as well, but he picked the picture and wrote the caption attaching the song see you later by Jenna Raine. He posted it and within minutes the comments and DM’s were flooding in. Our post getting shared and edits immediately being made. Nick and Matt even shared our post adding comments on it, and what to expect from them now that I’m no longer in the picture. So many people accepted our decision, and so many people were sad about us splitting. Most of his fans loved us, and they were so distraught.

I hadn't read the post yet I was scared to have to finalize this decision we made, but when I did I broke down immediately

❤️nicolassturniolo, matthew.sturniolo, sturniolo.triplets and 650,000 others

christophersturniolo: I have loved this girl for the past two years of my life, and I will continue to love her. We have decided to separate as it’s what’s best for us in this chapter of our lives. We will always love one another, and we hope that one day we cross paths again. Y/N may be the right person at the wrong time, and while we figure this out we’d really appreciate it if you guys respect our privacy. She will no longer be in our videos, and we want you guys to respect that decision we have made. We love you guys dearly❤️. But most importantly I love Y/N with my whole heart….she will always be my number one girl. Even though you didn’t make it to the end of my story, I’ll always have the corner folded down on your page; because it was one of my favorites. I love you Y/N🥀

This message broke me. I loved Chris so much, but I had to let him go. I hope to see him in the future.

The End

This was pure self indulgence and now I’m sad LMAOAO. But let me know if you liked this one 🥹🖤

-J💅🏽

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets imagines #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #Spotify

[jihyocentric]

after jihyo’s first pregnancy with jisoo, the changes that her pregnancy forces her to go through become part of her life, never really losing the habits brought to her by her new responsibility as a mom, even after giving birth.

jihyo becomes organized, grows as an adult during the nine months she waits for jisoo, finding pleasure in keeping her life as stable and in order as she could. for that reason, jihyo can’t understand how she fails to notice something as crucial as her body’s rejection to her birth control pills.

jihyo should’ve noticed sooner.

if only her job wasn’t demanding special attention from her during the past weeks, she would’ve known that the pills weren’t working for her anymore. the excessive stress and, among other things, the lack of sleep, weren’t only caused by her hectic schedule, but also because her body was going through changes.

and so, jihyo only understands something might be happening with her when other emotions are affected.

she cries more often and has drastic mood swings, her body demands more food, her clothes don’t quite get tight but jihyo notices her tummy is just slightly elevated, just barely, nearly impossible to see and feel. if she wasn’t attentive, it would take her longer to acknowledge the subtleties of an early pregnancy blooming into her.

jihyo looks at the mirror, raising her shirt carefully, stopping when her belly is visible. she’d been afraid of looking at the mirror from the moment that being pregnant again became a real possibility, but she gathers enough courage to look at herself, impatient to know if her suspicions were true.

“oh,” jihyo holds her breath, turning to the side, checking if she was seeing herself clearly.

nayeon would have never noticed something as little as a bump that was barely there, but jihyo did. the moment she puts her eyes on her tummy, a hand instinctively nuzzling her bump, she knows nayeon managed to get what she wanted. through unexpected ways and without jihyo’s approval, but she did. and jihyo couldn’t be happier.

“you okay there, hyo?” nayeon knocks at the door. jihyo hadn’t locked it, but she waits for jihyo to ask her to come in, a sleepy jisoo in her arms equally eager to see her mom but barely awake.

jihyo lets the shirt fall to her thighs, trying to hide the smile on her face as she opens the door.

all nayeon knew was that jihyo felt sick, which was true — she had woken up with the urge to throw up. while jihyo wasn’t exactly as sick as she was when she told nayeon she’d skip work for the day, she still needed a day off to get her mind in place.

“hi mommy,” jisoo yawns, arms leaving nayeon’s neck to wrap around jihyo’s, being received with open arms by her mom.

jihyo laughs softly at the way jisoo holds her plushie bunny, her tiny fist grabbing the bunny tightly by its big ears, diligently taking care of her mama’s gift, not letting it fall to the ground or taking her eyes off of it for a second.

“good morning bun,” jihyo kisses her little girl’s head, a happy sigh slipping past her lips.

nayeon checks on jihyo, still worried about her. “i know you’re not feeling well and i’ll get her ready to daycare, but she wanted to see you.”

jihyo pouts without realizing she was doing so, shaking her head when nayeon mentions taking jisoo away, not wanting to waste her day off without her baby to make her company.

“she’s not going today,” jihyo mutters, pecking jisoo’s forehead a couple times, the baby dozing off slowly in her lap, too sleepy to be happy about not going to school. “i feel better now, i’ll stay home with her.”

jihyo wasn’t going to stay at home, but she tells nayeon she will to let her heart at ease while nayeon was working. there were things she had to do outside, getting a pregnancy test was one of them.

although she had seen the changes on her body with her own eyes, jihyo had to be sure that it was all real, that jisoo would get a sibling and that nayeon would get the second baby she yearned for.

“are you sure?” nayeon bites her lip. “i could stay too.”

“no!” jihyo cuts her off way too eagerly, making nayeon mumble a small ‘eh?’. “we’ll be fine, nayeon. i know how to take care of myself and you should use your sick day when you’re actually sick.”

nayeon wants to tell jihyo that she doesn’t care if she’s a grown adult that’s more than capable of taking care of herself. for nayeon, jihyo was still the same girl she fell for in high school. nayeon wants to stay, take care of her apparently sick wife and not miss out on the fun their daughter.

but jihyo was, unfortunately, right. nayeon had flexible schedules, certainly less hectic than jihyo’s, but it was better to keep her sick day safe for emergencies in case anything were to happen.

“fine,” nayeon sighs. “but i’ll do my best to leave early.”

“you better.” jihyo smiles, swaying jisoo gently in her arms.

after nayeon leaves, jihyo allows herself to sleep some more. she wasn’t the type of person to stay in bed, but she hasn’t been sleeping properly and she didn’t want to disturb the baby in her arms, going back to bed as soon as nayeon kisses her goodbye.

she’s awaken by jisoo’s soft giggles, hearing loud purring next to her. bbuyo, jisoo’s dear friend, could never leave her alone, even when she was sleeping.

“good morning, mommy!” jisoo sits on jihyo’s tummy while jihyo yawns, complying as bbuyo asked for pets, exposing his tummy for her to rub.

“good morning, soo,” jihyo smiles.

jihyo had slept with jisoo on her lap, something that used to be routine for them. jihyo used to have jisoo glued on her at all times when she was a smaller baby.

they would sleep in the same position jisoo was before she got busy with their cat: with jisoo’s head tucked into jihyo’s neck while jihyo held her comfortably, keeping her safe and sound in her mom’s warm embrace.

“hey, bun,” jihyo calls and jisoo looks at her. jihyo runs her hand over her baby’s hair softly, caressing her lovingly. “since you’re not going to school today, what do you want to do?”

“stay with you, mommy,” jisoo replies, falling back to her original place with her head on jihyo’s chest, looking up at her mommy with her eyes shining.

jisoo was truly just like nayeon, despite carrying most of jihyo’s features. in love with her mom to the point she’d easily skip anything else to stay with her, no matter how tempting other activities outside might be. besides, if her two best friends weren’t with her to play outside, then there was no point on playing at all.

“we could go to the park,” jihyo offers with a small smile on her lips. “and take bbuyo with us.”

“what about beom and wannie?” jisoo asks, only interested in playing at the park if she had her friends with her.

“they’re at school, bun.” jihyo explains. “but we could go see your auntie and wait for them there.”

jisoo gets excited at the thought of seeing jeongyeon. it’s mostly because visiting her auntie meant eating good food, and whenever her mom stayed home with her, the meals wouldn’t be the best (or edible at all). her stomach rumbles as she thinks about lunch made by her auntie instead of her mom.

but at least jihyo’s breakfast wasn’t necessarily bad and jisoo eats well before jihyo gives her a shower and gets her ready to go out, not even complaining about the fact that jihyo gave her the fruits she didn’t like, all because she knew jihyo was sick. nayeon had told jisoo to do her best and behave, promising to her baby that her mommy would heal faster if she was a good girl.

as for jihyo, she decides that nayeon would know about their little trip to jeongyeon’s later. jihyo would only let her know that she was at jeongyeon’s when she knew nayeon would be returning home, not wanting her to worry, aware that nayeon would drop everything if she thought jihyo was seriously sick or walking around while she was sick.

jihyo takes a different path on her way to jeongyeon’s, keeping her eye on jisoo and bbuyo in the backseat, jisoo on her safety seat and bbuyo in his carrier. she makes a quick stop to get what would determine if she was pregnant or not, getting no questions from her daughter except when jisoo becomes interested in the gummy bears displaying next to the cashier.

it’s still early when she arrives at jeongyeon and momo’s house, and she knew jeongyeon would be there because jeongyeon often worked from home.

“am i babysitting today?” jeongyeon asks as she opens the door. bbuyo scratches his carrier, wanting to get out, and only then jeongyeon realizes jihyo brought the entire crew with her. “i’ll stay with the baby. the cat is not welcome here.”

“leave him alone.” jihyo warns, making her way in with jisoo holding her hand.

“make yourself home, i guess.” jeongyeon stares at bbuyo as jihyo releases him. jisoo leaves jihyo’s side and runs to jeongyeon, raising her arms for jeongyeon to pick her up, making the older woman forget about the menace walking around in her house freely now. “and how are you, babygirl?”

jisoo settles comfortably in jeongyeon’s lap, a fan of being held. “i’m okay, but mommy is sick!”

“sick?” jeongyeon looks at jihyo questioningly. she seemed fine for her.

“a little…” jihyo blushes, thinking about a way to tell jeongyeon without letting jisoo find out. “but i got medicine to make it better.”

jihyo shows jeongyeon the pregnancy test inside her bag. jisoo couldn’t understand what was written in the package, not even aware of what was inside, but jeongyeon freezes when she understands the type of sickness jihyo felt.

“oh.” jeongyeon gasps. “that’s...”

jisoo gets distracted with jeongyeon’s hair and jihyo allows herself to bite her lip nervously, deep down already knowing that she was pregnant, but getting the confirmation that she was indeed carrying nayeon’s baby a second time would make it all real.

“should i take it now?” jihyo asks, her heart racing.

jeongyeon nods. “go ahead.”

although she knew it would take long seconds of waiting for the results to be ready, jihyo steps into the nearest bathroom in a hurry, undoing her pants as swiftly as she could.

on the other side, jeongyeon tries to process the information while talking to jisoo, asking her where her toys were, even offering beom and wannie’s toys because she knew they wouldn’t mind lending them to their favorite girl.

jihyo puts her pants back on once she’s done with the test, impatient as she waited, biting her nails, walking back and forth. she wonders what nayeon’s reaction would be if she found out she was getting another baby, able to visualize the happiest smile on nayeon’s face.

jihyo was happy, truly happy, but part of her felt angry. she wanted to be aware when she made love with nayeon aiming for a baby, just like they did with jisoo. she wanted to have planned the baby before getting pregnant, upset because she couldn’t control it the way she wanted — but still wishing that the test came out as positive.

“how did it go?” jeongyeon knocks at the door, taking jihyo away from her thoughts.

“wait,” jihyo opens the door. “where’s jisoo?”

“playing the twins’ stuff.” jeongyeon steps inside. “are you…?”

“i don’t know! i think so.” jihyo sighs. “see the result for me.”

jeongyeon, apparently as eager as jihyo, snatches the test from the counter, her eyes widening when she sees two perfect lines.

“i guess i’m getting another copy of you to babysit soon,” jeongyeon mutters, showing jihyo what she’d just seen. “does nayeon know about this?”

“fuck.” jihyo takes a deep breath, trying hard not to cry in front of jeongyeon, but her attempt is useless. “uh, no she doesn’t. and she won’t.”

jeongyeon places the test back on the counter. “why? did you two fight?”

“no…” jihyo sniffles, hugging jeongyeon, who only hugs her back because jihyo was pregnant. jeongyeon rolls her eyes, thinking about the next months she would have to spend treating jihyo well because she felt guilty if she poked fun at her while she was pregnant, slightly annoyed at the news solely because of that. “i-i’m not ready to stop saying no when she asks for another baby. she’s s-so cute, jeong!”

jihyo cries harder into jeongyeon’s chest, happy tears that she can’t control, her body starting to understand that she was pregnant again, making her sensitive.

“you two are disgusting.” jeongyeon sighs, knowing jihyo wasn’t listening to her at all, too busy thinking about a thousand things involving pregnancy, nayeon and jisoo’s new sibling.

jihyo only allows jeongyeon to break the hug when she hears jisoo’s voice calling for her, drying her tears quickly to go tend to her baby, almost crying again when she sees jisoo and hears the word ‘mommy’, wondering what jisoo would think about having a sibling to share her mommies with.

#drabble #nayeon #jihyo #jeongyeon #nahyo #domestic!nahyo #sfw #non rq #took a while but here it is!

[jackiequick]

Operation Baby Rescue / Fast & Furious Fic 🏁 (Part 1)

-

Pairing: Deckard Shaw x Valentina Toretto

Fast and Furious fanfic

Setting: The Fate Of The Furious

Continuing to this fic 🏁

-

To say this wasn’t how she planned her week to go like this, was a understatement. One minute she’s doing a mission with her crew when suddenly her own brother turns to table, going completely rogue on them. How lovely—not! What made it even more or less weirder was that called to retrieve her playful Brit a week later, but before that she visited him, firsthand at the prison center for men like him. He walked in and sat in front of her, even in that jumpsuit he still looked amazing in her eyes.

She sat down picking up the phone on the wall, placing up to her ear, “How’ve you been, Deck?”

“Could be better. Hey, I’m sorry about what I did, you didn’t deserve that to happen. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Deckard said with his ear up to the phone letting out a sigh, and give a side smile with made her return the gestures.

“We talked about it. It’s the past Deck, we can’t change anything that happened. We gotta move from it, honestly we should’ve been honest with each other.”

“We made it a rule when we first started seeing each other at the vacation homes, to not mention too much or stay in the past, be in the moment. We’ve should’ve known better and talk about it.”

“You’re being too forward, do you know something I don’t? I swear to god Deck if you plan on—”

“Relax! Val, I know better than to break out of here to see you. I’m not mad at you and Owen is alive god knows where.”

“Good…I miss you.”

“I miss you too…say we share a bit, as soon as once I get out of here?”

“I’ll be sooner than you think.”

-

Sooner happened rather quickly, as Mr. Nobody waited outside the prison center that he had Valentina hijack into about a exact week later. The sounds of shouting, alarms ringing, things breaking and running could be heard from the other side of the wall. Val put a timer on the clock as Mr.Nobody smirked watching the scene take place on his handheld tablet. It was priceless, 4 minutes and 27 seconds later Deckard Shaw and Luke Hobbs came rolling in a fighting standoff ready to pounce at one another. “Not bad, gentlemen.” Said Mr. Nobody with a grin and satisfying nod explaining his job for both men while Val was biting her lips smiling at the sight.

At the facility where everyone met, Valentina stayed behind for a moment, stepping into the room where Deckard was fixing his clothes. She stood outside the doorway with a grin as she said, “Nice view. You look good.”

He turned around with a matching grin and he walked over to the girl. “You’ve haven’t seen me in a while, that’s why your eyes are staring onto my face.” He said in pride in his voice knowing it was true and he was staring into at his girl the whole time here.

“You really miss me?”

“You have no idea.”

“Then kiss me.”

“Is that request or a demand?”

“You choice whichever one you believe it is. I like to think it—”

Valentina wasn’t given a chance to finish her sentence as Deckard laced his fingers crossed the back of her neck as his lips crashed gently but quickly onto her. A surprise gasp escape from her before she kissed him back and wrapped her hand onto the small of his back. A deep breath was taken away from the pair and smiles were laced on their faces. Val pulled away chuckling, “That was-i didn’t expect to you do it.”

Deck laughed with his hands still rested on her cheekbones, “Would you have expected anything else from me? I am determined.”

“Oh i know how determined you can get. Remember our first date in Italy? You asked me out right on the spot that afternoon.”

“I’m a man who knows what he wants, love. And in this case, it’s you. I made you feel happy, didn’t i?”

“Yeah you did, you still do.”

“But no more, funny business from you or i might have to make you mine.”

“Make me you’re what?”

“My wife.”

Before Valentina had a chance to give good comeback, Mr. Nobody called them out. Or should i say, Little Nobody called them out to see the team. Val went first and meet up with her gang, her friends—her family. They all talked about the idea of Dom going rogue and how they can get him back, especially with Cipher being the target with Dom. Just then Deckard Shaw made his appearance as Roman, Luke Hobbs and Tej stood up ready to pounce at the man. Letty rolled her eyes grumbling in annoyance and Ramey stayed quiet in her chair with a slight glare. Little Nobody and Mr. Nobody explained onto why Deckard was here and how he can help them find Dom. Soon enough they all got to work.

—

Ramey, Tej and Deckard used their brains and witty to track down Cipher and Dom’s current location which lead to their facility that was blown up by their bounty. Dom and Cipher came in exploring as he blow up the walls, threatening the group, even kissing in front of Letty who glared in disbelief as she yelled out her husband’s name. Val was in shock and glare at the pair, shaking in her head in disgust and disbelief. Soon enough they all left having the group ears ringing and glaring at the job at the hand involving Dom. Val stood up next to Roman and Tej while Ramey tried again to find their nearest next location, Val smirked figuring out the placement before they said the word. New York City.

And they were off to New York City undercover in a stinky mess of a fish truck, it took them a few hours to get there but they did. Mr. Nobody had a surprise up his sleeves, a warehouse filled with cars, gears and weapons to be used once Dom was found. Roman kept asking for the pretty bright orange car but after some negotiations he settled for a white one instead. Little did they all know, Domenic had plans out his own for the gang, needing two of the players to do a underground job for him. Deckard and Val. He needed them to rescue his son, a small package but a loving adorable one that needed to be delivered to his safe house safely, at least until the job was done.

Dom appeared in New York with his connections from his past undercover to deliver the message to Val and Deck when ready. Santos and Deckard’s mother Magdalene "Queenie" Shaw. Mr.Nobody called them out to the streets with Little Nobody coming with them in his own car. Val was set in her velvet vehicle driving off with the team behind Letty and Roman, Hobbs in his own truck, Ramey and Teri paired up together in a comfortable spot with it their car and Deckard driving next to the center cars when he received a message on his phone from mother and Dom Toretto, not knowing about all of the job set in stone yet.

Soon enough they were off! All of them against Dom for a suitcase with expressed interest inside for Mr. Nobody. To say they failed was a understatement to say the least, as Letty ran out of her car towards Dom and the assistant for Cipher to followed Dom around. It was a sad argument between the husband and wife, Val heard it from her walkie talkie as she noticed Deckard and Hobbs running as well. She followed. Val slides over and under crowds, ending up in street nearby an alleyway when she saw it. Dom yelling as he shot Deckard in the side causing the man to fall onto the pavement. Deckard was faced down on the ground not moving as Val let out a whimper from her lips, tears held back with a anger washed over all of it.

Dom glares towards Deckard soften as he noticed her standing there, giving his baby sister a certain type of look. It was a certain look at Val knew very well in fact, her big brother Dom had a plan set in stone. The man always had a plan in mind. He wasn’t the bad guy here, he never was and he was just being manipulated into doing the dirty work for Cipher for a reason. She’s holding something against him, to make Dom work for her but he couldn’t say it to the team. Val face soften as she noticed his body language shift as he looked into his sister soul with a slightly bruised, stone cold face. It was like a bruised shoulder of a a look that gave Val the signal to wait for it as Dom ran off. Before Val can say a word and race after her brother, Hobb swooped her into his arms and carried from the horrific scene.

-

Hours past, the place was silent as the crew looked around in frustration, concern and confusion at what just happened. Hobbs watched Letty and Val with a careful eye knowing what Dom did must’ve sting. Roman wanted to rub Letty’s shoulder for comfort but didn’t know what exactly would happen if he did to that. Val left a note for Mr. Nobody and Hobbs saying she doesn’t know if she’ll return for a while, needing some fresh air. Val walked out of the facility, stomping onto the pavement noticing a truck across the street and hummed in confusion but curiously.

Walking up to the truck, a light smirk placed on her lips. Val noticed it was Santos at the wheel grinning at the girl.

“Linda! Girl where you’ve been?” He said calling her ‘pretty’ in Spanish, holding up a small note for her, “Here.”

“Of course you were recruited!” She replied chuckling while taking the note from his hands and reading it, “Holy shit..”

-

Thank you for reading it. That was part one. Remember like, comment and share if you enjoyed it! 🤞🏼

Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @t-nd-rfoot @mandylove1000 @blueboirick @sherlkore @meirafireshield @hanlueluver @rooster-84 @blackheart-beauty and etc

#the fast and the furious #fast and furious au #Val x Deck #jenna dewan #deckard shaw #fate of the furious #fanfic #f&f #fanfiction writer #writing for the soul #writing for the sake of writing #writing for fun

[bonesbuckleup]

oooh snippets from the batfam fics that haven’t been asked already (or also maybe please more snippets from already asked ones?) I just love batfam, okay?

Lemme check here, hang on--Let's go with Tim does Home Alone, an early adoption AU in which a nine-and-a-half year old Tim is unexpectedly home alone at Christmas time when his boarding school had to close for a bug problem and his parents were out of the country. Tiny Tim has also just seen Home Alone for the first time, and has, in true Tim fashion, set up a bunch of Home-Alone-style traps around the townhouse and tried to reenact bits of the movie (going to the grocery store, ordering a pizza, etc etc) to varying degrees of success.

Unknown to him, the bats have recently come into some intel that Drake Industries may or may not be involved with some Crime TBD. On top of that, they're pretty sure that someone involved may have information about their identities (due to reasons I haven't figured out) Since the Drake family is abroad for the holidays, it's a great time for Nightwing and Batman to break in and see if they can find any evidence.

By the time the traps are sprung, it's too late to back out. Tiny Tim becomes convinced he's now a super villain for lighting Nightwing's mullet on fire like that, so he really leans into his new evil role even as he despairs attacking his heroes like this.

Eventually new-to-Robin Jason also shows up, recognizes what's happening, and leads to this snip:

“Hey, yo, Kevin McCallister!” Robin calls out. 

Tim goes still at the name. He should’ve known that Robin would recognize the movie. He wishes Robin was the one to get here, hours ago, before Tim went full dark side. Robin would’ve kept it fun, would have connected the dots sooner, instead of letting Tim accidentally make it scary and bad so fast.

Robin says, “You can come on out, kid, you’re not in trouble.”

Oh, no, Robin’s a liar. Tim wishes he didn’t know that, because he’d like to think that Robin tells the truth, but Tim’s definitely in trouble. Tim shot Batman in the butt with a crossbow. He lit Nightwing’s head on fire. He got them both with the ice. He did these things and he did them at Christmas. He’s a villain, a bad guy, the lowest of the low. It’s Blackgate for Tim, or maybe even Arkham. Tim’s gotta be crazy to be this deep this fast, right? He shrinks down further. He doesn’t think he’ll do well in a jail or asylum.

Robin ventures further into the townhouse. From his hiding spot on the landing, Tim can see him looking around. “I mean it,” he says. “I’m sorry these two dinguses fucked up, uh, messed up your Christmas. I made them wait outside. They’re not gonna bother you anymore. Hello? You here? Kev?”

There’s nothing else for it. Tim stands up and peeks over the railing. Robin clocks the movement immediately, and holds up a hand in a wave. Slowly, very slowly, slow as he can, Tim eases down the stairs until he’s standing in front of the vigilante.

“Macaulay Culkin, I presume,” says Robin.

“M’Tim,” he says, because it’s hard to talk around the painful lump that’s swelling up in his throat.

#WIP meme #mail #anonymous #pandering for asks #Batfam #DC #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #The main thing keeping me from finishing this one is coming up with Tim-Drake level traps lmao

[xseekingsaturnx]

slipping through my fingers

A study of "I love you"/"I know" that I found in my drafts. Enjoy, all who are interested. Han Solo/Leia Organa

///

Somehow she’d always known they were running on borrowed time, precarious moments all loosely strung together by the will of luck. 

Or—by the will of the Force. She doesn’t know which. The two most prominent men in her life have such divided perspectives concerning how things come to be. Personally, Leia’s never quite believed in luck. And the Force is a little out of her element. Bygones, she supposes. 

But if either happens to exist, Leia prays one will intervene. Now would be the time. 

Please. 

Leia curses herself for not knowing, not realizing sooner. She curses this star-forsaken gas mine and Lando Calrissian’s crackling audacity. Most of all, though, Leia curses the name of Darth Vader. So help her, she has half a mind to go tearing at him full force, screams rattling her throat. 

But Leia knows better than that. It would only worsen matters. Not that things could get much worse, but she’s not in any mood to risk jinxing the situation. 

Not when Han’s life is on the line. 

“Nothing to worry about,” he’d said, upon their landing in this traitorous sky metropolis. “Trust me.” 

She’d trusted Han, truly. Really, she had. It was Lando who triggered her suspicions and it was Lando who betrayed them. Leia should’ve trusted herself, when have her instincts ever led her astray? 

Now the love of her life is being ripped from her white-knuckled grasp and Luke is most assuredly on his way, moments from tumbling into this mess, just as Vader intended. It’s a disaster, it’s a catastrophe, it all could’ve been avoided if only she—

Leia’s mind is racing faster than Coruscant traffic, there’s so much static between her ears that she hardly notices Chewbacca’s raging tantrum or Threepio’s panicked shouting. She’s lightyears away, she may as well be back in that revolting slug’s throat, that’s how utterly useless she is—

Han’s gaze locks with hers, green and brown mingling, expressions tight with sorrow and suddenly Leia is rendered immobile. The most basic of functions now sit just out of reach. Breath hanging idly in her lungs, heart resting motionless in her ribcage. For one electrifying beat they are a portrait, etched in the shattered passage of time. 

The next double-crossing second sends time barreling onward once more and in a desperate instance of impulse, Leia is grabbing his shirt and Han is crashing into her and they’re tangled together in a kiss born of a nebula. 

They’re breathing each other’s air, starved of this closeness, passion rushing through fingertips and fingers brushing through hair and all Leia wants is this. This this this, this forever, until the end of time itself. 

And just as suddenly, Han is pulled away, brute force dragging him farther from her arms, farther from her lips, farther from her, and Leia has never known a pain like this. 

That pain—that hollow, yawning cavern spreading through her chest—is what drives her to the words.

Words she’s never said, words that were always reserved for family, words so powerful that perhaps Leia’s gripping some obscure hope that they might reconcile this tragedy. 

The words leap from her mouth.

“I love you!”

They explode, echoing across the chamber, dancing their way to Han’s awareness and she sees the way his eyes flood with something cosmic. 

“I know.”

He knows.

He knows he knows he knows—

That smart-mouthed son of a bantha, of course he knows, he’s known all along but she’s too late, too late, and the platform is lowering and Han is disappearing and—stars, if the circumstances weren’t so bone-achingly grievous, she might actually laugh. 

He knows. 

That information isn't much but it’s enough, it’s enough to fill the chasm, it’s enough to soften the sharp-edged agony coursing through the tunnels of her veins. Twin tears streak down both cheeks and she doesn’t even care, she doesn’t care about her reputation or her image or anything.

With a final inkling of self-preservation, Leia turns away, burying her face in Chewbacca’s fur coat because she can’t watch anymore. Everyone has limits. She should’ve reached hers years ago. It’s nothing short of miraculous that her knees have the strength to keep her standing, the cold, durasteel floor has never looked so enticing.  

Threepio is rambling on, robotic anxiety rolling from his speakers. Leia hopes Lando feels this anguish, she hopes he’ll remember it for the rest of his back-stabbing, rotten existence in this merciless galaxy. She hopes the torment of guilt will haunt his sleepless nights, she hopes it’s unbearable. 

And when the steaming slab of carbonite is lifted from within, Leia’s eyes have a mind of their own and she risks a treacherous glance. 

There he is. Her whole heart, frozen in a contortion of dismay. Stuck there. Trapped there. She wonders if he felt it. She wonders if he was afraid. 

She shouldn’t have looked.

Vader’s imperious rumble cuts through the air, “Well, Calrissian? Did he survive?”

A question, reminding her how dire these circumstances really are, reminding her he might not have survived— 

Leia’s stomach lurches with anticipation and she’s seconds away from another spiral, but then Lando chimes in. 

“Yes, he’s alive. And in perfect hibernation.” 

Relief. Alleviation rushing across sweat-soaked skin, premature consolation spreading like the sunlight of daybreak. He’s alive. Han is alive. And despite the trials she knows are about to bend her in half, Leia feels oddly renewed. Love has finally found her. She sure as hell isn’t about to let it slip through her fingers.

#starwars #han solo #leia organa #princess leia #empire strikes back #fanfic #myfic #romance #wrote this two years ago i think #whoops

[solar--system]

Holy shit I got posted! It only took me three years of being a system online.

Let’s go through some things because as I mentioned in an earlier post these subreddits spread misinformation!

1. All these alters from their favorite shows games, and general YouTubers.

We have 1-3 fictives in our system. 1-3 because I’m thinking two of the fictives that “formed” recently weren’t real. I think someone in the system took on the personalities of characters from our hyperfixation show and we mistook it as a fictive. I’m not certain on this yet though.

2. Makes memes almost weekly about how silly their altars are being in headspace.

Funny cause we dont post about other alters in our system much. And we don’t really have access to headspace so… how am I making weekly memes about these things?

3. And makes new alters every week.

Depending on if those fictives are real or not, we havent formed a new alter in 3-4 months. And the last split before that was 7 months away. So we don’t split often and we’re a system of about 15ish. Huge numbers I know /s

4. They shared a post about Inside out and Riley having alters. I’ve linked the post because it was a silly post I reblogged saying that you should’ve realized you were a system sooner based on how much you rated to the emotion characters in inside out.

But I’ve finally done it. 3 years of being open as a system online and I finally got fakeclaimed. I just wish they had better reasoning. Honestly the post probably happened cause I said r/FDC and r/SC spread misinformation. Here’s a fun fact for everyone. Endos spread misinformation, these subreddits spread misinformation, and yes even CDD systems spread misinformation. Anyways thank you for this new honor. Try harder next time though, kay?

Here’s the link to my post in case anyone wants to check it out. I find it funny so no harassment or hate towards the poster or any commenters. I wanna see what they have to say.

#dissociative alters #actually did #actually dissociative #did community #dissociative identities #endo dni #traumagenic system #osddid #traumagenic did #dissociative system #tw fakeclaiming #fakeclaiming mention #system cringe #fake disorder cringe

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for putting my child’s and mine responsibilities above all else?

To preface this - I (36M) am a ruler of a small kingdom. I have an amazing husband (34?NB), and together we have a wonderful daughter (13F). We raised her together, and I love my family incredibly so.

Some time ago, however (about 5 or so years) my husband left the country. Or, rather, the world - he’s from a different world altogether, and has a home there as well. (We met long ago as kids, when he was pulled into my world by a rogue wizard, and we had to literally stitch together pieces of my kingdom.) I didn’t mind at first - I’m well aware of how much my husband loves his home and how he loathes to separate from it for too long (not to mention his home world/planet seems to be a magnet for all things strange and dangerous, judging by his stories, and he’s more or less their last line of defense if anything were to happen to local king and his most loyal knight). So we had an arrangement - he would spend half a year in my kingdom, and half a year at his home in his dimension. So all was well.

Unfortunately, as you’d surely figure by now, he… didn’t come back.

Fearing the worst, and having no means to communicate between dimensions, of course, my first thought was to go search for him. (As powerful and tough as he is, he’s NOT invincible - one of his many adventures as a kid did nearly kill him.) But I cannot just abandon my kingdom - and my child - for my own selfish desires. So I had to instead continue upbringing our daughter alone.

Now, here’s where the issue lies. My husband and I absolutely doted on our girl, and he often would tell her stories about his old adventures - and his home world as well. His world, known as “the world of peace”, was so vivid in the imagination of our little girl, that she begged him to take her to see it one day. And my husband did promise her that, once she gets a little older. As you may guess, that promise was never fulfilled.

Over time, our girl grew restless. She offered me time and time again that if I cannot leave the kingdom, then she can go look for her father. To which I am solidly opposed. Not only that might put her, the sole heir to the throne, in danger, but I risk losing the last member of my family. (Which I… kind of have a history with - I never knew my father, and my mother left me and abdicated the throne when I was very young.)

Our arguments grew more and more heated, until eventually, I snapped and forbade her to even think about leaving - she’s a princess and is supposed to learn and prepare to eventually become the next ruler in our threadline. This argument was the last time I saw my daughter, because the next morning she disappeared without a trace.

The reason I’m writing this is such: I’ve managed to locate my husband. He and his close friends had formed a rescue party since our daughter (and my husband’s adopted child - which I’m hearing of for the first time) somehow ended up kidnapped. I’ve joined this rescue party, and we had to venture to yet another parallel world (this is a long and mostly unrelated to the issue story). During some downtime, my husband and I had a somewhat strained conversation about our daughter, his disappearance and her escape. He does admit, that he should’ve let us know he’s alright sooner (turns out, he was taking care of said adopted child, and he didn’t quite plan on staying for this long), but he also pointed out that I’m being too harsh on our daughter - and I might be the reason she ran away. I tried to refute his arguments, but the doubt lingers.

Do you suppose he might be correct? Am I really too strict and should remember that she’s only a kid? My husband is nowhere near royalty, so he doesn’t quite understand all the responsibilities, but even from a position of a father my worry wouldn’t let our girl go alone.

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[intrepidacious]

What if Reader said no at the diner in blind roads? 😌💕

no plan b

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 700

warnings: a variant of bucky meeting the reader in blind roads aka my bonnie and clyde au. please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

a/n: you know how some characters are doomed by the narrative? this is that, i think.

It went something like this:

The stranger’s eyes softened as he looked at you, and it sent your heart into a flurry. The feeling should’ve been unsettling, really, because this was something new, something big and instinctual and perilous. In truth, though, you didn’t quite dare to put a finger on it.

"Come with me," he said gently.

Your hands twisted into your skirt and you cleared your throat, your thoughts still whirling. He noticed your hesitation, apparently, because he tucked his head between his shoulders with a breathless chuckle, his glance now focused on the cup of coffee in front of him, long fingers trailing along the rim.

He had nice hands, you thought. Rough and callous, but his nails were clean. You didn’t get that all too often in these parts, where everyone and their dog was caked in earth and manure all year round.

"You seem real swell, stranger," you said finally, a nervous chuckle escaping you. "But you know, I’ve known you all of five minutes."

"That’s entirely on me," he said. "I’da stopped by a lot sooner had I known what I’m missing."

There was a sheepish tone to his voice that was so entirely in contrast to the wink he sent you it made you want to kick yourself, but it was too late now. He didn’t push it, no matter how much your heart secretly ached for it; he just ate his pie with a pleased hum on his lips, and when he left, it was with a tip of his hat in your direction. A gust of icy wind rushed through the diner, and then he was gone.

You were left shivering.

That night, you lay in bed for hours, unable to fall asleep as you stared at the ceiling. All your life, you’d only known this. This was safety. This was boredom.

This was anything but forget-me-not eyes.

Deep inside, you knew that you were meant for something other than waiting on farmers and cleaning tables, but what exactly that something was, you weren’t exactly sure. That sort of thing seldomly came all written out plainly.

Certainly, though, fate wasn’t something that just happened without you doing your part.

Wasted chance, you thought, curling up on your side and pulling your blanket over your head, unsure if the familiar smell made you feel better or worse.

Your gloomy mood continued all through the next day, and so you didn’t lift your head from the magazine you were listlessly flicking through at the counter when the bell chimed and the stomp of boots announced a new customer.

"It occured to me I was awfully rude yesterday," a smooth voice commented and you froze as someone slid onto one of the barstools a couple of feet from you.

"Do tell," you said, your tone carefully neutral. You kept your eyes on the black-and-white photograph of Clara Bow, as if that was the most interesting thing in the room.

"I didn’t even introduce myself."

"Most folks don’t generally do that."

"Well, I ain’t most folks."

You did look up, then, putting your head in your hand. No one had ever smiled at you quite like that, all boyish charm and dangerous fire.

He was wearing the same suit as yesterday, but his hair was combed with a proper part now and there was a tiny splatter of blood just below his cheekbone where he must’ve nicked himself shaving. His fingers were tapping against his thigh restlessly.

"Besides," he continued. "I got plans."

"Everybody’s got plans," you answered, as if your breath hadn’t hitched at all at the confident raise of his brow.

"Everybody’s got dreams. I got plans." He leaned forward, his elbows propped on the counter. "Tell me to go to hell and you’ll never see me again."

You saw it then, your fork in the road reopening, and you knew with every fiber of your being that you weren’t gonna play it safe a second time. You simply weren’t able to resist.

So you poured him a fresh cup of coffee and slid it over with a tilt of your head. "Then how would I ever learn your name, handsome?"

He grinned.

thank you for reading!! please leave a comment if you want to make your local writer jump with joy. if you want to see more of my writing, check out my masterlist or follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications 💛

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes oneshot #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfic #blind roads #no plan b #what if #ren 🐝

[mlmxreader]

bored prompts

first thing’s first; this prompt list is explicitly and only made for the usage of @mlmxreader​; unless you have explicit permission from me, please do not use this prompt list for your own writing. thank you! 

��I get it”

“You’re in an oddly good mood… what did you do?”

“I don’t give a fuck”

“Just leave it til tomorrow”

“Don’t say my name like that.”

“I s’pose we’re just all used to the violence by now”

“We were soldiers”

“I don’t want to bury another friend, never again”

“It never fucking ends”

“Sit down, have a beer”

“Do you have any fucking idea how worried I was? How fucking close I was to tearing everything apart, just to make sure you were safe?”

“I try not to think about tomorrow, try not to think about how we might never make it home”

“It’s a deal”

“Nothing compares to you, no- no one can even try and come close”

“Hey! Hey, calm it!”

“Look at me, look - it’s over, it’s done”

“Oh, fuck”

“I can’t take more”

“Lead ahead”

“Who am I to understand?”

“What have I become?”

“Promise me you won’t be angry, first”

“You can borrow my shirt - borrow, as in temporary”

“Would you stop being so jealous over nothing?”

“I couldn’t ask for more”

“I want you to meet my family”

“You smashed a chair, I’m not surprised you’re bleeding”

“I’m not exactly a prince charming on a white horse.” “No, but I never wanted that - I wanted you”

“Sometimes… sometimes I wonder what the fuck we’re doing here”

“It’s alright, look, look at me - you’re alright, it was just a nightmare”

“You’re so lucky”

“What? I needed an excuse to get you alone”

“You always say you’ll call, but you never do”

“I keep thinking you’ll stop loving me… but you never do”

“I think I fell in love with you from the start, from the moment I met you”

“I need you”

“If I could, I would play you a thousand love songs”

“Is it all in my head?”

“I should’ve known sooner, should’ve guessed that you’d never actually look twice at me”

“You’re right, I can’t stand the thought of you being with someone else - but there’s a reason, I promise”

“Where were you last night?”

“Tell me the truth… was there someone in your bed last night?”

“Maybe it is just a little selfish of me”

“Here we go again”

“For fuck’s sake…”

“Fuck that”

“You look… wow”

“C’mon, it’s just a little house party, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“Fuck everyone else”

“Don’t start with that shit again”

“Why do you stay with me?”

“Please, talk to me”

“It’s not like you to admit you were wrong”

“Are we having fun?”

“You best stay here the night, the rain hasn’t stopped”

“I am so, so sorry that I kept you waiting for so long”

“Just one chance, that’s all I’m asking for”

“Oh, I love it when you call me that”

“I loved you for so long, I won’t stop now”

“I missed you, I missed you so fucking much”

“I keep having these dreams that we’re together and then… then I wake up”

“For what it’s worth, I wanted to stay”

“Can you forgive me for being away all this time?”

“Hey, look, I found that old photo of us”

“Is it too late?”

“It was only going to be a matter of time before you found out”

“What the fuck are you laughing at?”

“Oh, c’mon, it’s obvious you’re in love with him - let me, y’know, help”

“You actually like this shit?”

“I’m not playing this game with you”

“I just wanna tell you how I feel”

“How dandy”

“If it’s alright with you, I’d quite like to take you dancing”

“You can call me whatever you like, handsome”

“I’m yours, nobody is gonna take me away from you”

“I thought I was content to be just friends… but I’m not, I’m really not”

“Never thought I’d feel this way for anyone until I met you”

“Why do you bother to keep me around?”

“Don’t break my heart”

“Why didn’t you answer?”

“For a long, long time I wanted nothing more than to be at your side”

“We can be together tonight”

“Why should I give a fuck?”

“Your heart rate is abnormally fast”

“You and me? In a fake relationship?”

“It’s just for one night, please”

“Please, I don’t wanna talk about it”

“You really hurt me back there”

“Quit looking at my ass”

“Maybe we’re better off not telling anyone… at least until things calm down”

“This is the sixth day in a row you’ve woken up in my bed… are you sure you don’t want to move in?”

“I love you, I love you”

“Don’t stop on my account”

“Would you fucking relax and take a break for once?”

“Well, that’s new”

“You… you love me?”

“You look so handsome when you’re trying to concentrate”

“Do you enjoy the view, by any chance?”

“Take my coat, we can’t have you freezing to death”

“If you don’t shut up, I might have to kiss you”

BEFORE YOU REQUEST, READ MY RULES & GUIDELINES

[chicken-fifi]

Unwanted Rumors - Song Joongki Imagine

Requested by anon: Can i ask an imagine of song joong ki when you are a member of a very famous idol group, and in a interview the mc is trying to create a dating rumor with another actor, making him envy, because you are not public? Happy and cute ending?

Word Count: 707 words

From where he stood, Joongki could see how uncomfortable you were regarding the interviewer’s latest comment.

“I mean, you and (actor insert) seemed to have very good chemistry in the drama,” he said trying to get an answer out of you, not getting the hint. “It must take a lot of time to be able to develop that kind of chemistry with someone.”

Your group’s leader noticed your distress and quickly began speaking, not hesitating to take a slight jab at the older man.

“He’s our senior in the company. We’ve practically known him since before our debut and he’s bought us all meals from time to time. It’s nothing more than a siblinglike bond between all of us and him. You can understand that right? I mean given your bond with your co-star in your own drama,” she said with a polite smile on her face leaving him a bit speechless to say the least.

Joongki bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing too much before asking his own question, trying his best to let the nagging thought about the friendship with your senior not bother him.

“Speaking of siblings, your new single has been described by you all as being a love song to each other expressing your sister like bonds. Can you guess some more about that and the album?”

Your eyes met his as you gave him a small smile, it didn’t quite reach your eyes but it was something. Another member began answering his question before he quickly followed up with another, just you were all called away to get ready for your next performance on the music show.

As soon as the cameras were cut off and their mic packs were being changed for new ones, Joongki took a moment to approach his fellow co-star ready to give a piece of his mind. 

“You should’ve dropped the subject the moment (y/s/n) started getting offstandish,” he scolded.

“We needed to get something out of them and besides everyone wants to know and I’m willing to bet there’s more to it than meets the eye between them.”

Taking a deep breath in, he walked off not wanting to get into a petty argument over this with anyone and accidentally reveal his own relationship with you. While you weren’t dating your senior, you were dating him and having that news break right as your group’s new album was being released wouldn’t be good.

While things became a bit awkward between him and the other interviewer, they were able to finish filming rather quickly and were soon let go. Joongki stayed back roaming the hallway where your group’s dressing was located waiting for a chance to get to see you and personally apologize for the mess of an interview you all have to put up with.

The youngest member of your group was the first to step out dressed in jeans and t-shirt. She quickly spotted him and sent him a teasing look before motioning for him to go over. He stood outside the door, quickly getting noticed as your members all greeted him before excusing themselves and leaving you two alone in the dressing room.

You were seated on the small couch drinking some water, “They’re probably all pressed against the door wanting to listen to us.”

He sat down beside you and took your hand in his, “I’m really sorry that happened. It shouldn’t have and I should’ve stepped in sooner.”

“(actor insert) is going to have a field day with this one. I think he’s scheduled to be on a show with him in a few days. It’ll be a miracle if he doesn’t let something slip about you and me.”

Joongki’s thumb stopping rubbing your knuckles, “He knows?”

“He saw us on a date a few weeks ago. He’s sworn to secrecy but I don't know how much longer we’ll be able to remain a secret.”

“Let’s see what happens in a few days and then we’ll go from there. I don’t want anything to ruin your guys’ comeback. Not when it’s been so long since all of you have been able to have one.”

“Thank you and I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#actor imagines #actor scenarios #kactor imagines #kactor scenarios #song joongki #song joongki masterlist #song joongki imagines #song joongki scenarios