#and this should scare the others | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr is used by 21% of adults online aged 18-29 years.

#and this should scare the others

trashmakerarticle · 6 months

Text

Y’all think about those rare times when Batman talks about his sons before they were introduced to the justice league he talks bout his ‘babies’

Batman: ahh yes nightwing, he’s my little boy. Always is full of energy. I love him. He’s just a happy little boy. In fact I have called him here and there he is, my little boy, a bundle of joy he is.

Nightwing: *a fully grown man and almost the size of Batman himself* hey guys :D

JL: that’s not a little boy???

Batman: *pointing to red hood* this is my baby, he’s just a precious baby and I love him so, he is fragile so please don’t make contact. He’s so cute and precious, he’s my precious baby boy.

Redhood: *a 6’2 man, absolutely covered in guns and is the size (if not slightly bigger) then Batman himself, glaring at all of them* don’t talk shit b

Batman: language.

JL: THATS NOT A BABY BOY???

Batman: this is my other son, he is my little genius. He’s so full of innocence and so pure, I love him dearly. Don’t be fooled by that stare, he’s so full of love he can hardly contain it. In fact he is friend shape.

Red robin: *staring down the JL with his Batman glare, already in a fighting stance* I will not hesitate

JL: I do not feel safe

Batman: this is robin, my son. He is very nice, though he might pick at you slightly, he is harmless. He can be prickly be warned but overall he is such a lovely baby and I love him so much

Robin: *gripping his swords, glaring at them ready to fight*

JL: oh my god we’re gonna die

#bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #dc #batman #nightwing #red hood #red robin #robin #justice league #justice league should be scared #honestly I would’ve added the others but it 1Am rn and I’m DYIBG

14K notes · View notes

nelkcats · 8 months

Text

Roomba

Honestly Danny would be the first to admit that trying to overshadow anything after the Technus incident was a bad idea. But he was also a very bored teenager, visiting a strange city at the request of his older sister so, can you blame him?

It had seemed like a fun idea to the halfa the moment he saw a small roomba in a store window in Gotham. It didn't look like many wanted to buy it but it was there anyway.

So yes, Danny could admit that it was all a strange combination of his boredom and lack of sleep because before he knew it he had overshadowed the damn roomba, causing the light above it to glow bright green.

It was just luck that some of his powers worked, because he made it through the store window with no problems, and had some fun chasing the denizens of Gotham all over the place.

It wasn't so much fun when he realized he was stuck inside the roomba; or when some people started to look at the machine curiously, trying to catch it.

He managed to escape with some luck and set about being a real nuisance to anyone he came across, including the clown laughing like a maniac and the live scarecrow, because well, what other option did he have besides waiting for it to sort itself out?

It wasn't long before the bats heard the report of "a roomba on the loose" in disbelief. Dick wondered if Alfred would appreciate them bringing the machine to the mansion to help him with cleaning.

2K notes · View notes

teaboot · 8 days

Note

Congratulations on your kitten! A few (a lot) bits of advice from someone who raised 4 kittens:

Watch your step. It's very easy to accidentally squish them. My kitten used to hide in a pillowcase and she was so small that you wouldn't even notice. Pat down everything before you sit.

Kittens are small enough to hide in EVERYTHING. I thought two of mine were lost. They were just sleeping under a closet.

Kittens usually will try to escape the room as soon as possible. Be careful when opening doors so they don't get out.

Cats will meow a lot to get your attention so you'll open the door.

Don't run around them. They get scared.

Cats will try their best to get food. They will break dishes to get anything with dairy (they push them off the counter). They can open pizza boxes, take off covers. I wish I was joking. They also love to claw open flour bags and dump flour everywhere. Keep your food somewhere they can't open.

Cats love plants. Keep them out of reach or your cat will eat them.

Cats will eat everything. I mean everything. Do not leave food out.

Do not let the kitten get somewhere high. They can get up. But getting down is another story. (usually this is rectified once the cat gets older).

There is a very high chance the cat will sleep on you if you go to sleep.

Cats CAN open doors. Kittens can't, but older cats can.

Cats think strings are toys. Which means if you wear those pants with strings at the waist to tighten them they will attack you

Cats like to eat hair for some reason.

They will try to drink out of the toilet.

Some cats like to knead you. It's painful bc they use claws. Wear thick pants if they're on you.

It is VERY hard to pick up a sleeping kitten when they're on you. Even if you need to go somewhere.

Thank you!! :D

#I've had cats before lol but never this small #My other cat was about three months old when he came home in a granola box #I'm mostly worried about how young he is #He should NOT be away from his mom at four weeks and I'm scared of fucking up

516 notes · View notes

scrimbly-mc-scrombly-iii · 6 months

Text

love media that’s like- found family but only because they’re literally trapped together. found family but they don’t even like each other in the beginning. forced found family. like we are all completely different types of people and we do not get along but we don’t have a choice to not be around each other. We fight constantly but there’s nowhere else to go and no one else to turn to so we have to be here for each other. we find a kinship in each other not because we like or understand each other, but because we have no other option. and maybe in the end we’re half grateful for that. maybe we find that we care about each other more then we think. maybe it turns out we are a family after all.

i eat that shit right up

#bbc ghosts #dhmis #the amazing digital circus #tadc #dont hug me im scared #its quite a niche trope but god i love it #tadc is still in the “we all hate each other” stage but i have a feeling it’s gonna go in this direction #oh yeah i should also prolly add #ihnmaims

780 notes · View notes

tavina-writes · 6 months

Text

I started writing yet another tag essay in the notes of a different post where OP posited that the reason established relationships that are rock solid or functional are hard to write and find in fiction because there's missing tension due to the lack of will they won't they, and how one way to solve this in a story is to make the characters insane about each other. (The post is here.)

And don't get me wrong! I like when characters are a little or a lot unhinged about each other! and I also like relationships that self destruct, tragedies that end badly, and all that jazz I enjoy these things a lot! They're good things!

But I'm thinking about relationship tension again and how like, okay yes sometimes we want our characters confess they're in love with each other and get together and sail off into a soft epilogue, etc. This too is love!

But I think fundamentally to deny the fact that two (or more) people can love each other deeply, be totally committed to each other, and yet still have difficulties and life problems to tackle together is an underexplored facet of romance. The mundane of this is where the real romance lies on our day to day as people, and I find this so...rarely? tackled in fiction?

Maybe this is because I'm ace, but I feel that there's a distinct? vibe to these sorts of mature and enduring romances where like, the love is there, the commitment is there, but we still have moments we need to work for it because that's life and we work for it because we find each other worth it.

What is more romantic than compromise with someone you care for deeply? What is more romantic than tackling problems together and trying to come to an agreement and sometimes not being able to but still having done your best and accepted the outcome anyway?

What is a long lasting relationship that isn't about give and take and growing together or coming apart? Aren't those stories interesting? How could any long lasting relationship where people are deeply in love with each other be boring when like, to BE in a relationship with someone for ten, twenty, thirty, sixty years and come out the other side of that saying 'you're the one, you're still the one, you've always been the one' is one of the most wild and rare type of relationships to have?

What sort of sacrifice and compromise and work it takes to build that sort of relationship, isn't that interesting? To persist despite moments of doubt and periods of despair and all the work it takes in mundanity? all the trials a relationship like that has to survive and has survived, isn't that still tension? isn't that still interesting?

Maybe it's just me that I find this more interesting than "will they? won't they?" Either they will or they won't but when I'm reading a romance they mostly will! But do they have what it takes to stay there? And if they do isn't that one of the most interesting things in the world to look at?

Isn't that also love?

#writing #idk I just think maybe we should have more of these types of stories #I find mundanity interesting #maybe it's just because my parents met each other at 18 and 19 respectively #and have since moved across the world #had three children #multiple medical scares #and made so many sacrifices and their life stories are SO interesting #and yet they've come out the other side each day still being like #'you're the one and you've always been'#that makes me feel like these sorts of love stories are perhaps one of the wildest types of romances that we could ever have #and I'd love to see it more in fiction

585 notes · View notes

kingkatsuki · 15 days

Text

IMAGINE!!! You’re a Princess from a neighbouring kingdom hand picked by the Midoriya dynasty to marry the young Prince Izuku. A man who has riches far beyond your own city, and it’s a marriage that could unite the two kingdoms to forge an even stronger bond.

Except, while you’re living in the castle and preparing for your marriage to Prince Deku— you end up falling for the King’s bodyguard, Bakugou Katsuki.

#like imagine him finding you in the library late and night when he’s patrolling #and telling you that you should be in bed!!#but you feel like the only person besides Deku who isn’t scared or intimidated by him #and you make him stay up late with you as you read him your favourite books #or tell stories to each other🥺🥺🥺#and he finds himself trying to avoid you because this is dangerous and if anyone found out the King would have his head #but Deku tells Bakugou to go with you while you go into town #to ‘protect you’#and he just finds himself falling even more in love with you

183 notes · View notes

uncanny-tranny · 7 months

Text

I love (sarcasm) that the two options for working when disabled are:

1. Work at the risk of (permanently) disabling yourself further. Go home to a paycheck that won't cover much, but at least you have money. Fight the urge to cry when you're home because you're in so much pain and you can't do basic things anymore

2. Don't work. You'll be in just as much pain, plus you will have even less money. Getting a disability check probably won't cover anything, but chin up! A single dollar is better than no dollar, right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Nobody should be forced to make the decision to work or starve, but there's an added layer of torture when your body literally cannot handle these options. My heart goes out to us all, the world can change for the better

#disability #ableism #ableism tw #i'm still in pain after this shift i am feeling so fucking pissed #NEITHER of these are necessarily a 'privilege' and there are layers to this fucked-up cake #having money is better than having no money. but nobody should have to put their lives on the line because there is no. other. option.#i'm glad i can work but i'm so afraid of my body and my safety and my future. i'm scared that i'm only going to Get Worse because of work #every disabled person on government support should get $60004737 as their funds for the month #also point two is sarcastic are the end if that wasn't clear #kinda scared for my future ngl! 👍👍

502 notes · View notes

slackershipper · 1 month

Text

one of my favorites parts of chapter 416 is when cale acts cute for no reason:

Cale shouted while looking at Choi Han who took his sword out to fight for real.

“Fighting!”

“Ha!”

Choi Han chuckled at Cale speaking Korean.

if you aren't too familiar with korean culture, let me tell ya this: when they say this, they also normally lift their hands in a fist, in a cheer kind of way. so when i read this, i couldn't help but imagine him doing the same.

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #cale henituse #kim rook soo #choi han #choicale #no 'cause he was so scared of choi han's reaction to the truth that he acted cute without even realizing xD #choi han being annoyed that dorph was interrupting their fight was also very nice. he should be allowed to swear and be rude at others more #this chapter is one of my favorites okay

278 notes · View notes

bolly--quinn · 4 months

Text

The craziest part of the episode to me is the ice cream table exchange about Beth tbh like Morty truthfully believes that Rick would say

“This may as well be our real daughter because she’s just as real as you.”

and

“Put it this way. You’re all basically NPCs. Only Morty and I are real, so your side quests don’t matter. The main quest is us.” (referring to he and Diane exclusively)

And when Diane, rightfully, combats him for his thinking with

“You’re disgusting. You’re talking about our baby girl like she’s theoretical?”

Beth throws in “Welcome to the family.”

Which might be one of the most heartbreaking lines in the whole thing to me because Morty has observed Rick enough to believe that this line of thinking is entirely in character for not only Rick but for the rest of the family too. Like Morty truly believes that Rick doesn’t care about them in anyway and that when faced with this, even Beth would just respond with the belief that this is the norm, at least from Rick anyway. So much so, that he uses an outside character in Diane to call out how insane it is.

Morty believes that Rick only cares about Diane and literally everyone else doesn’t matter and that’s just so sad to me, especially when we have seen otherwise but he can’t be faulted for thinking that when Rick carries that facade with him almost always, and especially to Morty directly.

#rick and morty #Rick and morty spoilers #fear no mort #Morty smith #Rick Sanchez #diane sanchez #Beth Sanchez #Beth smith #please put this boy in therapy my heart aches for him #he and Beth are so tragic to me #Morty truly believes that Rick is only capable of loving Diane and that scares him and it is a rational fear #the show itself spends so much time on this that Morty only ever says ‘the Rick that killed your WIFE’ and ‘dead WIFE’#because he has seen first hand how Rick doesn’t care about others including Beth as he literally left a version of her in a world he ruined #like Morty has seen Rick do so much that he can’t even fathom the idea of Rick even loving his own child (not even the c-137 original)#like he thinks her death doesn’t even matter to Rick because why should it she’s not Diane she doesn’t matter #like it’s so tragic because Morty looks at this man who he cares about so much and sees that his mom cares about so much #and doesn’t believe that he could possibly ever even love them not even a little a bit 💔

181 notes · View notes

iwritenarrativesandstuff · 2 days

Text

Killua and the Power of Wishes

Okay going to try and make this coherent because the amount of wish association all through Killua's character development makes me want to chew plaster.

As a fair warning, this analysis ended up being long as hell, and I didn't even include everything I could've said. This is also just one lens to analyze Killua's story arc with, and I feel there are other valid interpretations of some of these moments. This is just one of mine, so keep that in mind please.

One last warning that this analysis does discuss emotional manipulation and abuse, as is par for Killua's background.

Let's set the stage with one important piece of info: Killua's birthday.

Killua's birthday is July 7th, the same day as Tanabata. Tanabata is a folklore-rich festival where according to legend, the two lovers, weaver Orihime and cowherd Hikoboshi, represented by the two stars, Vega and Altair, are allowed to reunite once a year after separation. A popular custom of Tanabata is to make wishes by writing them down on tanzaku, then hang it on a bamboo tree so that the wish might one day come true.

Tanabata is also known as the Star Festival. Please keep this in mind, because I'm going to come back to it.

To finish setting up the lens for this analysis, I'm going to need to dig into the game-changer scene for Killua's early characterization - his confrontation with Illumi at the end of the Hunter Exam, and specifically, the exact nature of Illumi's manipulation of him.

I say "game-changer" because it really is - up until this point, it's kind of fair to not fully know what to think about Killua. Certainly, he seems excited to hang out with Gon (he approached him first, after all) and he's friendly enough, but he's also arrogant and claims to be motivated mainly by boredom. For all intents and purposes, Killua seems set up to be Gon's dangerous yet charismatic rival... but then this scene happens and it completely turns it all on its head.

Because Killua may have mentioned his family was controlling before, but he seriously downplayed the severity of it - likely because he has no point of reference for how awful his situation actually is other than it makes him feel bad and trapped. Illumi's appearance immediately shifts our understanding of Killua from runaway murder kid with annoying murder family to straight-up victim of emotional abuse, and dissolves his cockiness instantly to terror.

What does all this have to do with wishes? Glad you asked. Let's look at some of Illumi's dialogue.

[ID: A screenshot from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. Killua looks up, sweating and conflicted, as Illumi tells him "You don't want anything or wish for anything." End ID.]

This is the crux of Illumi's (and the family's) control. Killua's desires do not align with the family trade. They must be excised from him.

When Killua insists that he does have something that he really wants, Illumi says "Tell me what it is you want", in a mockery of a certain other sibling who would have helped fulfill this wish - Illumi asks only so he can completely dismantle it. And Killua isn't even really surprised at Illumi's words, just heartbroken. You can tell this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened.

Killua states his wish quite fervently; he really means it. But his words are not rebellious, nor cathartic. Instead, he answers Illumi quietly, as if fearful or ashamed, almost reminiscent of a sinner's confession.

[ID: Two screenshots from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. In the first Killua looks down with a troubled expression, saying "I want to become friends with Gon...". In the second, his face is hidden as he stands with hands clenched at his sides with a spotlight on him. He says "I'm sick of killing people..." End ID.]

It's such an innocent, simple want.

And Illumi proceeds to make him feel like even something so simple is harmful and selfish of him... not to the family, but to Gon.

In a matter of a few minutes, Illumi breaks down Killua's wish by:

Acknowledging this desire, but twisting it into something that will inevitably fade over time, thereby causing Killua to doubt his own conviction and feelings -> "Gon is a novelty, a radiant presence who has piqued your curiosity. No more than that."

Acknowledging that Gon is someone important to Killua, and undermining this by telling him that by his very nature, he will eventually bring harm to Gon, which makes him feel as though Killua cannot trust himself to be a good friend -> "If you try to be friends with him, you will one day want to kill him... because you are, by nature, a murderer." (As a... delightful... bonus, this is also apparently how Silva and Illumi justify their treatment of Killua to him - "This is the essence of your existence and we taught you accordingly." Like they adapted to Killua's nature, instead of them molding Killua into who they wanted him to be.)

Delivering an ultimatum - to fight Illumi and win, or else Gon will die - that Killua is doomed to fail due to his upbringing and the needle in his head. Since Killua doesn't know about the needle, he assumes this is his own personal failure, something Illumi feeds into -> "You're just not qualified to make friends."

And it's the last point that breaks him. The first two shoot down Killua's present wish, but the last proceeds to shatter any hope he might've had of wishing for anything similar in the future - he has told him that his desires are weak, temporary, inherently dangerous to those around him, and worst of all, aren't enough on their own for him to deserve friendship and love from others. And the clincher: Killua feels like all of this is his own fault, that there is something inherently dangerous and wrong with him!

So, it doesn't even matter to Killua anymore if he fails the Hunter Exam. To him, he just failed the only test that mattered.

10/10 manipulation, Illumi. Fuck you, seriously.

Killua's character arc is mainly his quest and struggle to refute Illumi's arguments and to shake off the manipulation and the ways in which his family have molded and controlled him. And by far, the most difficult part of his conditioning to shake off is this idea that he is undeserving of anything more than what he is already given.

It's almost like the family has drilled it into him that wishes are dangerous. How interesting.

Thankfully, however, there are two parties to Killua's wish here - Gon, too, is a part of it, and it is not simply his reciprocated desire to be Killua's friend that saves him, but also his recognition of Killua's situation for what it is (notably, when no one else correctly identified the true issue).

"You know it wasn't his choice. You manipulated him, kidnapping his spirit!"

The ensuing Zoldyck family arc emphasizes that Gon is 100% correct: the main hold Killua's family has on him isn't physical - it's all emotional.

Killua breaks one of his shackles when Milluki threatens to have his new friends killed, but he only breaks the rest when Zeno tells him he's free to go. So, if Killua could break loose at any point, was this still a rescue like Gon said?

Well, yes - just because he absolutely could've broken out physically at any time, that does not mean he could just leave. That's the nature of situations such as this - it's not as simple as "just leaving". Support is necessary, as is actually having something tangible outside the situation to go to - otherwise there is little point to leaving at all. Gon (and Kurapika and Leorio) showing up to free Killua showed him that his wish was reciprocated and allowed him to break one cuff - this is the start of his journey, but he still has a long ways to go. Notably, he again hesitates and closes off when Silva asks what he wants.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 42. In the first, Silva asks Killua "...would you like to see [Gon]?" Killua's expression is complicated in the next panel - he's closed off and uncertain. Silva continues "Be honest, Kil... what do you want?" End ID.]

Killua will backtalk and casually break his shackles and death glare his family... but he's too fearful to voice his wants aloud.

And once again, asked by his father what he wants, he is subtly set up to fail. His wish is granted, but made conditional - "Do not betray your friends", something Killua is regrettably set up to do by virtue of the needle in his head that he, again, doesn't know about. Silva fully expects him to fail and come back home, disillusioned, believing it's his own fault due to his "nature", and trusting in Silva still as a "reasonable" figure in his life.

This condition placed on his friendship is what drives much of Killua's fear and insecurity with regards to Gon for much of the series - the idea that Killua has to earn his right to friendship, and that if he doesn't, he will lose it, one way or another.

It really makes me wish that Killua had actually gotten to hear Gon's views on friendship from the beginning of the Zoldyck Family arc, because it entirely refutes this entire philosophy. He even outright refuses to go through the Testing Gates at first, purely because he thinks the sentiment of needing to prove yourself just to be friends is completely outrageous - he only relents because there is no other way.

[ID: Two screenshots from episodes 21 and 22 of the 2011 HxH anime adaptation. Gon looks up at Illumi and firmly states "[Killua] doesn't need to earn the right to be my friend!" In the second, Gon's face is seen in profile and close up as he asks "Why would you test your friends?" End ID.]

I doubt it would've truly prevented Killua's insecurity from manifesting even if he had heard this, to be honest - his issues with usefulness are very deep-rooted in his upbringing - but still, it would've been nice for him to hear, I think.

However, that's not to say that this exact sentiment doesn't come through in their interactions.

Gon, as Killua's friend, cares about what Killua actually wants and wants to make sure Killua knows that - and that's part of what makes the Whale Island conversation between them really important.

[ID: Two images, both of the same scene from HxH chapter 64, and episode 37 of the 2011 anime. In the manga panel, Gon has turned his head to look at Killua directly, who looks shocked and taken aback, to say "I like hanging out with you." In the anime screenshot, Gon has turned his whole body to face Killua, and says "I think it's fun to be with you." End ID.]

I see a lot of people chalk this up to just Gon being Gon, but it reads to me as much more deliberate than even his usual honesty. He's turned so he's looking directly at Killua, which is a sure way to make his words come across clearly. The lead up to this is Killua, again, not knowing or being able to vocalize what he wants. He doesn't have a goal to work towards like Gon, he only knows what he doesn't want - he's a mix of envious and admiring towards Gon, who knows what he wants and simply goes for it.

But this conversation makes it clear that they have a shared wish - they both want to be friends, and they'd both like to stay together. It's not about earning, to Gon, it's only about if they both want the same thing - mutual, not conditional. There's a nice almost call-and-response type dialogue here, where Gon asserts that he likes spending time with Killua (very directly lol), then shares that Killua is the first friend his age he's had. This prompts Killua to say that Gon is his first friend ever, and that he does have fun with him. And just like that, Gon replies "Then let's stay together!" and pointedly includes Killua's desire to find a goal in their, now shared, upcoming journey.

Overhead, a shooting star appears in the sky. A mutual wish is granted.

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 64. The night sky is full of stars. In the centre is a shooting star. End ID.]

Hm. Stars. Remember how I told you to keep that in mind, all the way back at the beginning? Their association with Tanabata, making a wish on a shooting star, etc. etc.?

Well, buckle up because this star is going to make you experience so much sadness now.

[ID: Panels from HxH chapter 286. The first is a conversation between Killua and Meleoron where Killua asserts he intends to "go down in flames with [Gon]". When Meleoron looks concerned, Killua brushes off the declaration as a joke. In the second image, Killua is turned away, his outline pale, as Meleoron thinks "Why... did you looks so sad... back there?" The last image is a cloudy night sky filled with stars. At the centre of the panel is a shooting star. End ID.]

Yeah, it makes its reappearance directly after Killua has "jokingly" resolved to die with Gon if it comes down to it, after "since it means nothing to you".

I am assured, in Japanese, the word choice here is 心中 (shinjuu), the word for double suicide, where the intent is to die at the same time in the same manner in order to be reunited in the afterlife. The implication here is that Killua, having increasingly grown insecure in his place by Gon's side but unable to voice this, knowing that Gon is hurtling down the path of no return, thinks back to their conversation under the stars where they both mutually wished to stay together and, because he believes that it is no longer possible for him to help Gon, has resolved to stay by his side in death, and after it.

...holy shit, kid.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 4th ending of the 2011 anime. In the first, Gon and Killua stand back to back as meteors fall around them. In the second, they stand facing away from the audience towards a body of water under a night sky filled with stars - Gon throws a stone, which flashes in the air like a shooting star. End ID.]

And of course, here's the shooting star again in the 2011 anime's Nagareboshi Kirari ending, as well as it being the subject of the song itself and rather explicitly referencing that wish to go on a journey together, to stay together, because... Madhouse hates us. I guess. :'(

What started off as a simple wish for a friend deepened into a wish to always stay by Gon's side. This is largely good at first! Killua is able to explore and experience genuine friendship, to get a taste for freedom, and use the power of his fervent wish to protect his dear friend in order to rid himself of Illumi's needle. However, the more Killua wants, the more he traps these wishes in monologues within his own head and does not voice them aloud. Part of it is that he already feels he's been given much more than he deserves - seeing himself as a creature of darkness and Gon as light - but a greater part of the issue here is not that Killua is afraid to wish for things, but that he is afraid wishing without "compensation" will inevitably lead to horrible repercussions - namely, losing who he loves.

In order to feel worthy of staying with Gon, of earning his friendship, Killua works hard to help Gon achieve his goals, taking on the role of wish grantor, growing to do practically anything needed to support him for seemingly nothing in return - but that's not 100% true. Killua wants at least some appreciation, whether he admits it or not - it's a security thing, and it also clearly makes him happy, even if he's not great at accepting it. He insists in Chimera Ant arc that friends don't need to thank friends, but this declaration always read as very sudden to me or like a rationalization, and it's relevant to remember that this is at the peak of Gon isolating himself and self-destructing before his eyes, and Killua's own insecurity regarding his importance to him.

Killua might not mind doing things without thanks, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like to hear that Gon appreciates him. He clearly does appreciate verbal confirmation of their bond! We know this.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 2011 anime. The first is from episode 61. Killua smiles down at the ground with his hands in his pockets, the colours having gone soft and bright. The second is from episode 70 during the dodgeball match. Gon smiles determinedly in the foreground as Killua looks shocked next to him. End ID.]

Keeping all this in mind, Killua's story, or at least this part of it, couldn't have concluded in a better way than his rescue of Alluka, the wish grantor.

Now, I could probably write an entire other analysis on Alluka and Nanika alone, but for the sake of not making this any longer than I already have, I'm going to go through only a few points. Alluka is incomprehensible to her family because they make no attempt to understand her, with the exception of Killua. The only thing they do seem to understand, when explained to them, is the demands made after Nanika grants a wish - this, of course, fits neatly into their own predetermined views on "earning" and "punishment". However, beyond this, they make no attempt to understand her, and since her power is deemed dangerous and uncontrollable, she is locked away.

They are worried, first and foremost, that Alluka will bring harm to the family, and there's two ways in which this could be true:

As a function of failing to fulfill her requests, of course

Because she, just by existing, threatens the family's status quo

I stated at the beginning that Killua's desires do not align with those of the family business, and he's always apparently been more open to understanding others - he asks Alluka and Nanika questions to understand them, and treats them with respect, while his family are more so focused on subjugating anything that might be a threat. This is what Illumi tried to drill into Killua after all; never fight a superior opponent - everything is about assessments of relative strength, which leaves no room for open-mindedness or getting to know people.

Faced with a daughter who is clearly incomprehensibly powerful, and a son, the would-be inheritor of the family trade, who is showing a disturbing amount of willingness to befriend instead of retreat from her, the family made the decision to excise Alluka not just from where she could "harm" the family power-wise, but also likely to secure their control over Killua, who they then set about practically programming to not have any more wishes for himself, or at least to not be able to vocalize them without fear of loss or retribution.

The family's nickname for Killua is "Kil" or "Killu", which is deeply fascinating to me as a reader - nicknames are expressions of endearment, typically, and I actually don't doubt that here. Killua's family does love him, but their love comes with conditions. He must be molded into the perfect son, and every part of him that doesn't fit must be excised.

So: Killua's memories of Alluka are suppressed with the needle, and she is further cut from his life by dropping the "a" from his name (the Zoldyck children are named like a game of shiratori - Illumi -> Milluki -> Killua -> Alluka -> Kalluto). The nickname is also like a command or order "to kill", which is of course what they want him to do.

Saving Gon through saving Alluka and Nanika forces Killua to have to face down the last and hardest of Illumi's manipulations to shake, and that's the notion that a wish, that kindness and friendship and love, cannot be unconditional without severe repercussions - where the people he cares about get hurt because of him, something he cannot envision being forgiven for.

It's a little sad to me that after spending most of the series struggling against his family's teachings that they didn't lead to Killua betraying Gon at all, as he'd feared... but to him betraying Nanika, by sending her away.

Here is this little girl with a bloodstained past, incredibly powerful and dangerous and capable of amazing feats, treated as some evil thing by those who fear her. But she is kind at heart. Her true strength lies in healing, not killing. And she only takes commands from Killua.

Illumi thinks this is because Killua is the only one with control over her. Killua believes this is because she wants praise. They're both partially correct, but this is not the full reason Nanika does what Killua asks of her.

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146 of the 2011 anime. In the first, Nanika smiles and says "I love Killua." In the second, Killua looks at her, stricken. End ID.]

Nanika loves him. Everyone has been trying to figure out all these complicated rules and conditions on her wish granting and why Killua is the one exception, but the answer is exceedingly simple. She loves him, and wants to do nice things for him so he can have his wishes granted. It's the only way she knows to get the love that she wants in turn.

Just like her brother, Nanika makes herself useful to earn love and appreciation from someone who accepted her when no one else did.

Even though he knows Nanika just wants to help, he still sees her presence as a danger to the person he sees as pure and innocent who must be protected. He sends her away because her "nature" is to be a threat to Alluka's safety, even if she doesn't intend to be. Killua's fear of Illumi and repercussions causes him to make a horrible mistake.

And Alluka tears into him for it.

[ID: A set of panels from HxH chapter 336. A furious Alluka glares and asks Killua if he made Nanika cry. When Killua stutters, she demands he apologize to her. End ID.]

You tell him, girl.

Oh hey, this looks a little familiar, huh?

"Apologize to Killua!" says Gon to Illumi after Illumi sends Killua away.

Nanika should not be the one punished for the actions of those trying to control her. She certainly shouldn't be forced to leave those she loves, or have to earn love from them.

And neither should Killua.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 336. Alluka yells, tears in her eyes, "If you're going to protect me... you have to protect Nanika too!!" Killua looks shocked, then his eyes widen. End ID.]

It's interesting to me that this is the line that snaps Killua out of his fear enough for him to properly speak with Nanika and apologize. One party cannot receive all the protection, nor can the other only give and give limitlessly.

Killua makes it clear to Nanika when speaking with her that he will protect her, and that she doesn't need to earn affection from people by granting their wishes. He promises they will both be there for each other - Killua will praise her whenever she wants, and not just when she does something for him, but he also doesn't refuse Nanika's desire to grant his wishes. It's mutual, not conditional.

And on the heels of this "betrayal", Killua asks for what he never thought he could receive - forgiveness. And even though Nanika is clearly still very upset...

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146. In the first, Nanika and Killua face each other, both of them teary. Nanika says "Kay." In the second, he has pulled her into a hug. Nanika is teary, her fingers gripping Killua's back tightly. End ID.]

...she doesn't even have to think about it.

I do think Killua still has a ways to go, but he is in a position right now to learn from his relationship with his sisters about balance - that love is not just selfless devotion, but also allowing those who love you to help you and make you happy too. I think that's what unconditional love is, in a way - supporting and working together with the people you love to make each other's wishes come true.