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rosarrie · 2 years

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It would be so fucking easy for you to AT THE VERY LEAST not use the term cottagecore and yet, despite being aware of its racism, you continue to spit in the face of First Nations people. You prioritize your racist little aesthetic over listening to First Nations people and you cannot be bothered to take even the most easy and basic of actions to stand with them. You cannot put even the most minimum of effort in and you continue to tie your art into a racist sunculture. You’re a racist, you don’t give a fuck about Indigenous people and you can go to hell.

I've gotten multiple messages about this now in the same tone so I'm going to assume it's the same person sending them.

I’m going to use this as a chance to talk about the aesthetic of cottagecore as a whole in this post so it’s gonna be a long one. Hopefully this sheds more light on my current stance on the matter.

(I literally have no credibility aside from the fact i draw cute animals on the internet and call it cottagecore but I just gotta make my peace w this person)

I’d like to start by saying I never want to hurt people with my art, that is never my intention, whether intentionally or unintentionally. My art is made to make people happy and so being accused of hurting anyone with what I make upsets me and urges me to make things right.

There’s plenty of arguments to be made about the aesthetic, and I’m not here to be it’s guardian angel, this isn’t a hill I’m gonna die on. I acknowledge that there's problems even within the very concept of the aesthetic itself, but I also don't believe repeatedly accusing me of supporting harmful behavior is the right way of changing this and I'd like to respond to it in a constructive way. I'm also gonna be linking to a bunch of articles/posts regarding the conversation that I think were insightful.

Here’s the main points/problems I'm gonna talk about

To romanticise the idea of living in a house amongst nature away from society is ignoring the struggles of many indigenous people still trying to reclaim land. If everyone were to uproot and go live in a house in the forest away from civilization, you're taking away potentially important land to indigenous people in that area.

It is VERY white. There is an imbalance of POC creators in the cottagecore space, just type in “cottagecore” to google images or pinterest and there’s your proof.

The visuals are closely related to the trad-wife subculture, which is deeply rooted in white-supremacy and the alt-right.

Here’s my take:

Cottagecore is a form of escapism, easily evident in the aesthetic’s rise during the beginning of COVID-19. It’s a form of escapism the same way movies and books are. I can appreciate it’s visual elements while not actively participating in a lot of the activities depicted. I promise you I’m not going to go running off to the woods and building a cabin any time soon. I can understand the anger over trivializing the action of taking away potentially important land for its aesthetic value, but I also don’t think it’s in good faith to assume this is a genuine reality that is going to happen. The majority of people appreciating cottagecore are young, often times queer people looking to it as a form of escapism, not a step-by-step guide.

With that being said, there are however core principles within the subculture. It prioritizes handmade ethically sourced products and sustainability. It thrives off the importance of caring for the space u live in, actively shunning things like fast-fashion and encouraging the integration of slow-living practices into your own life (gardening, growing ur own fruit and veg, learning to cook, etc)

Cottagecore is incredibly white. Very rarely do I see non-white creators being spotlighted, and even when I do, their reach and audience is not nearly as much as their white counterparts. Addressing this issue through actionable achievable tasks feels like, where do u even begin. but I guess talking about the issue? Lifting poc voices within the community? I’m really not someone who should be a voice for this (as a white bitch myself) but I can acknowledge that there is actionable tasks I can take as someone with somewhat of a platform to at least help. I acknowledge the issue, I don’t know entirely what the solution is, but I’ll try to do better.

In regards to the trad-wife similarities, I can understand the argument being made, but the values of each subculture are so vastly different that it seems unreasonable to put them in the same category. Cottagecore is built on the fact that it’s a queer-centric feminist form of escapism, while Trad-wife principles originate from traditionalist christian values of being a mother and providing for your family. I think the overall intention of the comparison is to be made aware of how easily conversation around idyllic cottagecore lifestyle can blend into far-right rhetoric (this post does a great job of highlighting the similarities), but to say the two cannot exist separate of each other feels wrong. I’d like to think I am able to enjoy the cottagecore aesthetic while still critically consuming its content.

At it’s core (lol), cottagecore is a queer-friendly sub-culture that prioritizes nature, slow-living and the soft dainty aesthetic that can be associated. I am able to be critical of it’s downfalls while also still actively appreciating it for all it’s positive elements.

I am always open to the conversation around this topic! There’s definitely still plenty I don’t know about, and I am always eager to learn and better my judgment on things like this.

However! This is the last message I’m going to engage with that immediately jumps to accusatory language! Telling me to “go to hell” for using #cottagecore on my dumb cute art because it proves to u that I'm a racist is not a good use of ur efforts. PLEASE direct your anger somewhere else, I know this is coming from a well-intending place because you’re rightfully angry about injustices that are still present today, but pointing that anger at a 20-something-yr-old artist on the internet that draw frogs and calls it cottagecore is not a productive use of ur time.

Anyway thank u for listening, my dm’s are always open. feel free to reply with ur thoughts. Much love

#txt #rosy speaks #cottagecore #a long read #hope it makes sense #i am not engaging in discourse like this anymore this is the first and last time #if u wanna talk to me about something like this dont do it on anon thats just..... cmon #ask

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gaygoetia · 3 years

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The dhampir Laudna theory: A deep dive

Okay okay so I am actually in love with the theory that Laudna is a) a dhampir and b) has an arrangement with Imogen which involves her feeding on her but let's break down the reasons why it makes sense!

Part 1 - Is Laudna a dhampir?

The first and possibly most obvious thing in support of this theory is Laudna's appearance. She looks for the most part like a normal human or elf (interestingly her ear cuffs make it ambiguous as to which one) except with grey skin. She also has purple lips and black nails which could either be natural or achieved through cosmetics.

While this description could fit a few different 5e races, dhampir is (in my opinion) the one that fits best. It's what I immediately thought of when I saw her and obviously it fits the whole spooky vibe she's got going.

That said, given she's playing an Undead Warlock, the grey skin could just as easily be an aesthetic choice to add extra spookiness to a race that doesn't normally look like that.

So let's take a look at the mechanics of dhampir.

First thing to note is that dhampir is technically a lineage, not a race, meaning it works kind of like a one-size-fits-all subrace which you can apply to any race. So if Laudna is a dhampir she'll still have a base race like human or elf and may retain some of those racial features.

I don't have VRGtR myself so take this with a pinch of salt but from what I can find online, dhampir have the following abilities: Darkvision, Spider Climb, Deathless Nature and Vampiric Bite.

As far as I remember, we haven't seen Laudna use any of these but boy do they fit with her whole vibe. If Laudna doesn't use spider climb at some point during this campaign I will be genuinely shocked.

But of course, "vibes" is not really evidence and I'll admit there's not much to glean from racial abilities yet. That said, I do think Laudna's race is being kept intentionally ambiguous, seeing as Matt made a point to clarify that Imogen is human but no one said anything about Laudna's race when she was introduced.

The third reason I think she could be a dhampir ties in with another popular Laudna theory which is that she's a Briarwood.

For those who are unaware, the Briarwoods are characters from Campaign 1 (soon to be depicted in The Legend of Vox Machina TV series). Sylas Briarwood is a vampire and his wife Delilah is a human. They were based in Whitestone (where Laudna said she was from) and Sylas in particular has black hair with a white streak, just like Laudna.

Given they're a human/vampire couple, it's reasonable to assume that any children they would have had would have been dhampir and given Laudna's age is unknown (plus the various life-extending properties of necromancy magic) this theory is perfectly compatible with the CR timeline.

Part 2 - Is Laudna feeding on Imogen?

So one aspect of the dhampir lineage is that they each have a specific hunger. This hunger is traditionally for blood but can also be for flesh, dreams, life force, cerebral spinal fluid (yikes) and - most notably - psychic energy.

Assuming Laudna is a a damphir, we don't have a lot of clues so far as to what her hunger might be HOWEVER given her and Imogen have been travelling alone together, away from civilisation for a while it's reasonable to assume Laudna must have fed on her at some point.

There don't seem to be any specific mechanics relating to dhampir hunger in 5e so it's unclear how often they need to feed or what the consequences are if they don't, but Imogen said they'd been travelling alone together for "a long time" and it feels fitting for their dynamic that Imogen would volunteer to help Laudna slake her thirst.

As many people have pointed out, Imogen wears a yellow scarf which conveniently conceals her neck from view, potentially hiding bite marks.

Again, it's unclear whether feeding always requires biting or whether it's dependant on the specific hunger that person has. So if Imogen's scarf is hiding bite marks, it doesn't necessarily indicate the type of hunger Laudna has.

That said, given Imogen's psychic abilities, it wouldn't be a huge leap to assume Laudna feeds off psychic energy and if this is the case there could be a really interesting, symbiotic nature to the relationship.

It's implied that Imogen isn't always able to control her telepathy (i.e. when she fails a save after using her telepathy feat) and that she finds it draining and overwhelming, so if Laudna is able to siphon some of that power it might actually be beneficial for Imogen.

So that's pretty much all I've got for now but if all this IS true then there's so much interesting story potential here and I am so so excited to watch it all unfold.

#cr #Critical Role #cr3 #campaign 3 #CR spoilers #CR theories #my posts #southern gothic #imogenlaudna

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sitp-recs · 3 years

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Among Ancient Pines by @graymatters

Artwork by @cambiodipolvere and @onlytheheartknows

Harry/Draco (2021, Mature, 74k)

Every day, Draco Malfoy tries. With every fiber of his being he tries. But he doesn’t much think about what he’s trying for. A fic about challenging assumptions, discovering self-worth, the silver lining in failing to meet expectations, and finding friendship, love, and purpose in a small Alaskan town that’s steeped in magic.

“Rule number one”—Draco lifts a forefinger in the air to begin his count—“no feelings.” He speaks the words intentionally, willing them into truth, hoping for a Time-Turner to appear amidst the clutter on Harry’s table.

My first rec outside birthday gifts caught me completely off guard. I’m gonna preface this by saying that I trust @sweet-s0rr0w’s taste with all my heart, and even knowing her rec couldn’t be anything other than perfect I’m still shook by how much I adored this fic. High chances of being my favorite BB together with Home Truths by @skeptiquex, and they are definitely among my favorite 2021 reads. Ancient Pines reminded me a lot of one of my all-time fave fics, A Sword Laid Aside by korlaena - not in terms of characterization or plot-wise (although hermit Harry sharing his refuge with Draco is totally my jam!). No, the similarities are more related to tone and intent. Both stories feel properly adult, mature and contemplative yet light and tender in a way that feels almost poetic.

This kind of writing always gives me chills and makes me feel like basking in a warm bath, it’s so hard not to mourn the experience once it’s over. Here’s to another fic I wish I could read for the first time over and over! Ancient Pines has a perfect mix of so many elements I personally love: Healer Draco, hermit Harry, wand lore, friends with benefits gone (remarkably) wrong, low key emotional angst, found family, comfort food, Draco & Ginny friendship, a sexy amount of sneaky escapades with many fingers going into belt loops, and much more. Harry and Draco’s dynamics are simply fantastic, from the delightful banter to the passionate lovemaking. I’m captivated by this chill, earnest, observant and tender Harry, his good-natured ways edged just a lil bit with the kind of defiant stubbornness he saves only for Draco.

And this Draco is just the perfect match for him! Smart and capable, warm yet overthinking every little step and grasping for control by setting empty rules he’s bound to break. It’s such a lovely thing to watch them come together amidst the wild and evocative landscape of Alaska, with easy familiarity despite having an unspoken past looming over their heads. It’s even lovelier to watch Draco find his self-worth and identity along the way, coming to terms with what he wants and daring to take a leap plunge of faith. What a touching showcase of character development!

Beyond the gorgeous characterization, this fic also has delightful OCs (Meg & Fee own my heart!) and sets a perfect pace mixing delicious banter, detailed wand magic and gentle romance. And it’s so gentle, and fun, and sweet! Their dynamics feel very organic and the way “Let’s have fun” becomes “What can I do?” reflect how much these characters grow to learn and care for each other. Lastly, I wanna give a massive shoutout to the talented cambiodipolvere and onlytheheartknows who captured the fic’s essence and gorgeous aesthetics with stunning art pieces! Their work got me even more immersed in this universe and put a big smile on my face. If you’re looking for a soft and resonant comfort read, search no more: this journey is your next read!

Read on AO3

#drarry fic rec #healer draco #wandmaker Harry #harrydracobang 2021 #fave

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arotechno · 3 years

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re: Moses Sumney

Originally, I wasn’t going to say anything, because I have a significant audience and I didn’t want to put a spotlight on something if nobody was paying attention to it. But I’ve seen more and more about this, so I decided to say something.

I am not going to boost the original post that’s going around that seemed to start all of this, because I think it’s disingenuous and I don’t want to spread it around any further. In fact, I may regret bringing this up at all, but I digress. For context: some folks have recently learned that Moses Sumney, who wrote the album “Aromanticism”, does not explicitly self-identify as aro. Many are upset about this, and feel that by invoking the name of aromanticism as his album title and leading people to believe that he identified as such, he is profiting off of the aro experience in some way, or using us for his aesthetic.

I deeply understand the frustration I am seeing re: Moses Sumney right now. It is incredibly disheartening to see that a celebrity you thought shared your identity doesn’t, and I think people’s discomfort with Sumney using the title of Aromanticism and leading people to believe he was aro is warranted. While he never explicitly identified himself as aro, naturally people are going to assume as such when you allude to those experiences so heavily and name your album after it. I think all these feelings are valid and I don’t want anyone to feel like they aren’t allowed to feel pissed or let down.

However: I would strongly caution us against this kneejerk reaction some folks seem to have had to cancel Moses Sumney over this. The original post I alluded to frames Sumney’s actions as exploitative in some way, as though he were intentionally profiting off of the aro community somehow. Here are my thoughts on the matter:

1. The aro community is not exactly in a position right now where talking about us really earns you any clout. Regardless, Sumney has stated that he turned down opportunities meant for queer artists because he does not identify as queer. I believe him; it’s certainly okay if you don’t, but to suggest that he has profited off of being perceived as aro seems unsupported to me, given that many critics and reviewers of the album have willfully misinterpreted it anyway. There are very few interviews with Sumney, to my knowledge, that seem to entertain the possibility that he might be aro as anything positive.

2. While it is understandable to be upset with Sumney for not being clear about whether or not he identified as aro when the album was released, it is unfair to expect him to use the labels we would like him to if he does not want to, even if the experiences he has described are tangentially similar to our own. This is particularly important given that Sumney is a Black man, and as he himself has stated, Black folks are often not given the same agency over their identity and orientation that white people are. Especially when he is a public figure--Sumney is a Black artist who deviates from the heteronormative standard, regardless of how he labels himself (something he himself has explained), and thus he was always going to be boxed in and picked apart by media outlets looking for someone or something new to sensationalize for clicks. At the end of the day, while being a celebrity, he’s still just a person, and he doesn’t owe anyone constant corrections or explanations of his identity or the use of labels he does not want to use.

3. “Aromanticism”, the album, was deeply influential in the aro community at the time of its release in 2017 and remains as such for many to this day. Many arospec folks resonated with it in some way or another, and frankly just seeing someone in the public eye acknowledge the very existence of aromanticism and create art related to aro or aro-adjacent experiences was groundbreaking for many of us during a time when the word “aromantic” hadn’t even been added to the dictionary yet. And that’s something else important to note--even if Moses Sumney doesn’t identify as aromantic, the experiences he talks about in interviews and alludes to on the album are aro-adjacent ones. To that point:

4. I understand that many feel like their identity has been used as an aesthetic. Even if that wasn’t Sumney’s intent, I think it’s valid to feel that way. But if we don’t allow anyone who doesn’t explicitly self-identify as aro to even invoke the name of aromanticism in their art, we will be hard-pressed to find anyone willing to talk about us at all. Maybe I would feel differently if we were in a place where talking about aro issues was the latest trend and Sumney could truly profit off of us, or if the album was a complete willful misrepresentation of aro experiences. But I don’t think either of those things are true, and I am troubled by the fact that an album that has been lauded as a piece of iconic aro media is suddenly being cast aside as exploitative and bad simply because Sumney doesn’t actively share our identity labels (a fact that was publicly accessible long before this, just for what it’s worth, though I don’t blame anyone for not knowing that).

Again, I want to reiterate that I don’t intend to invalidate anyone’s feelings on the matter. I share some of those sentiments myself. But Sumney’s work (both on the album itself and in interviews and statements he has given surrounding it) to challenge amatonormativity should not be discounted. Personal feelings about Sumney’s handling of the situation notwithstanding, the release of the album was in and of itself a net positive for the aro community. I personally don’t think him not identifying as aromantic discounts that in any way, and I fail to see the issue with that.

tl;dr Please don’t take anyone’s interpretations of Moses Sumney’s words and actions as gospel (including my own!). “Aromanticism” is an album that resonates with many aro experiences, written from his own experiences, and its positive influence doesn’t disappear once people realize that Sumney isn’t aromantic. By all means, feel however you want to feel about it and about him--but I would discourage anyone from jumping to conclusions about Moses Sumney’s intentions and cancelling him/his work because of it.

#aro #aromantic #aro community #moses sumney #long post #op #sorry i'm not putting a read more on this because i have decided it's required reading

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wedreamedlove · 3 years

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Xu Mo vs. Mo Yi [Character Study]

I can never get over the aesthetic of these two pictures placed side by side LOL. But, anyway, the point of this post is to nip any undue comparisons in the bud and claims of copying organize my thoughts and compare these two characters to highlight their similarities, differences, and further explore each character through these contrasts.

Q) If you like Xu Mo, would you like Mo Yi?

Honestly, I think this depends on what you like most about Xu Mo. I already knew beforehand that I gravitate towards characters who think 5 steps ahead, are predominantly logical, and scholars/gentlemen, so it’s not surprising I bias both Xu Mo and Mo Yi.

However, as I got to know Mo Yi further (Themis is around 6 months old now), I find that he’s distinctively different from Xu Mo on three crucial points that’ll determine whether people from either camp will like the other character.

1) Stance on Others

In a post for Xu Mo, “Into Your World”, I argued that Xu Mo is an alienated genius who had troubles getting along with others, until he mastered the social game as an adult. However, you can still see glimpses of this as he tries to understand MC’s world and shares his own.

To be fair, Mo Yi’s past is still under wraps but I feel confident in saying that, while he was probably highly intelligent compared to his peers [SR Sculpted Heart], his isolation doesn’t seem to come from his innate nature but rather his social position (there’s heavy implications that he’s like some sort of noble or something) [SR Snowy Pine Fairytale].

IMO, these backgrounds really shaped the way these two men interact with the world.

Xu Mo has a detached and indifferent view towards other people. They simply exist and don’t bring anything positive or negative to him. His ambition to ensure the survival of humanity reflects this too because it’s pure utilitarianism; everyone (apart from MC) can be sacrificed equally for the greater good. If anything, he probably finds other people to be interesting subjects to study, no matter what kind of person they are. IIRC the only time he expressed dislike to people, or a group of people, was when he told Hades he enjoyed killing thieves LOL.

Meanwhile, Mo Yi has an elitist streak to the point where he and his MC actually clashed opinions and debated each other [SR Warm Fingertips]. It’s incredibly ironic because he’s a psychiatrist who treats his patients without judgment, but at the same time he looks down on so many things and people (PUAs, people who betray love, hypocrites who only seek power and fame) [Ch2; Personal Story Ch1-3; SSR Moonlit Ball].

One of the things I noticed early on is that Xu Mo draws from the Eastern scholar archetype, “Xu Mo Character Study”, while Mo Yi actually draws more from the Western gentleman archetype.

So, just to summarize this section, Xu Mo is detached from the world naturally and likes to observe people and try to blend in. Mo Yi deliberately draws a line between him and others and, at times, has the casual cruelty of someone born as nobility (arrogance is carved into his bones, even if he tends to keep it low-key because he generally has a “gentle and polite” attitude).

2) Stance on Love

Xu Mo didn’t understand love, or really even emotions. Love is grown between him and his MC (there’s multiple analogies throughout the game about how their love is like a seed). I think [Ch25] pretty much sums it up for Xu Mo, where he goes through that emotional rollercoaster and muses about how, at the end of human evolution, emotions should be discarded. He also admits that MC taught him the “fear” of a normal person, because now he has someone he cannot give up no matter what, which goes against his previous utilitarian beliefs.

Compared to this, Mo Yi fell in love at first sight. Yes, you read that right. The “scientist and logical” archetype fell in love at first sight LOL. Not only does he acknowledge it right off the bat, but he fully embraces it too and believes that real love makes people better versions of themselves [Personal Story]. Mo Yi is a through and through psychiatrist in that he never underestimates how primal emotions (and love) can be.

Heck, not only is this central to his personal story, but we also have hints that one of Mo Yi’s parents fell in love at first sight with the other person (and he inherited their predisposition for that). Unfortunately, their love had a tragic end and Mo Yi seems to have a huge grudge against his father for whatever happened to his mother (again, Mihoyo is keeping this a mystery LOL), but Mo Yi explicitly confirms that even if his love leads to a tragic end he will still walk down this road and attempt to change it [SR Cool Summer].

IMO one other difference between them re: love is this exchange that lives rent free in my head which I saw in a Xu Mo/Reader/Mo Yi fanfiction LOL. Bear with me here.

Mo Yi: Wearing a mask for a long time will tire you.

Xu Mo: It’s enough just to wear one in front of the necessary person.

Xu Mo and his MC make great efforts to understand each other’s worlds, but this understanding comes from the doors he chooses to open to her. He reveals himself as much as possible, but I think he’s an inherently private person (and there’s all that Ares stuff) so there are times where he hides things so that he doesn’t worry his MC. I think this is enough to count as a “mask”. Sometimes he pretends he’s okay when he’s not.

On the other hand, while I think Mo Yi shares the sentiment in not wanting his MC to worry unduly, he tries to reveal himself as much as possible. There’s an amazingly relatable conflict in him here where he wants her to know every side of him, but he’s also terrified of how she’ll react if he shows her his ugliest sides and imperfect sides (he has some sort of phobia or fear about imperfection, but Mihoyo has been keeping mum on the exact details of this so far) [Personal Story; SR Sculpted Heart].

It’s pretty ironic that Mo Yi wants to be perfect, but he realizes that the more perfect he is the more of a sense of distance there’ll be between him and his MC because of the subconscious pressure someone “perfect” brings LOL [SSR Border of Light and Darkness].

3) Stance on Growth

If you haven’t realized that one of Xu Mo’s greatest themes is the phrase “Take your time in growing”, then what have you been reading? Jkjk, but seriously this gets repeated in multiple places, although my brain always goes back to [Blossom Date] for this.

Even if he and his MC start off with fundamental differences (she believes all people have inherent worth and can’t be involuntarily sacrificed), he wants to personally watch the journey of her maturation. He also subtly guides and teaches her. Unfortunately, due to circumstances of the main story, he doesn’t get his wish and she grows up a lot out of his eyes, but their relationship still revolves around him wanting her to have as much time as possible to grow.

He’s, for a lack of better word, extremely gentle about this (setting aside as much of the Ares and story parts as we can, because LovePro’s story is tragedy on tragedy LOL). I think [Autumn Blaze Date] shows a good analogy for this, because he holds the bicycle steady for MC until she can get going on her own, and he also catches her the first time.

Meanwhile, Mo Yi... ha ha ha. I just came out of chapter 3 for his [Personal Story] and let’s just say his philosophy is tough love. It’s ironic because, in many of his other dates, he wrestles with an internal conflict to protect his MC but also to let her experience all sorts of things to both test and temper her.

This is going to touch on the previous topic about love for a moment, but a part of Mo Yi’s love at first sight experience is also “testing” the other person through all sorts of situations and, after seeing all their different sides, he can determine whether his love at first sight is one that’ll last for the rest of his life or if it’s just a fleeting moment of beauty and emotion.

He also extremely respects his MC’s sense of justice and pursuit of the truth in the world, no matter what she encounters, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this is what drew him to her in the first place. But MC’s occupation and beliefs will make her confront a lot of dark and dangerous things and so, whenever possible, Mo Yi lets her confront these in “controlled” situations to train her. If I had to make an analogy, IMO, he’d let his MC ride the bicycle and pick her up only after she falls, or when she’s like 0.1cm away from the ground LOL.

Mo Yi is (perhaps rightfully) called out on this by another character, who believes Mo Yi is too arrogant in believing everything is under his control and he can prevent MC from getting hurt whenever he lets her get into dangerous situations, and I’m interested to see if Mihoyo will let him experience failures with his philosophy so he can grow more, like the things Xu Mo went through re: his personal beliefs [Ch24].

Overall

I don’t know how well I explained myself, especially for people who don’t know anything about Mo Yi, and each section goes back and forth between the two characters LOL so here’s another section that attempts to describe their overall atmosphere.

If, like I said in my Headcanon Notes, Xu Mo makes me immediately think of all the words for soft, gentle, light, still, water, etc etc., then the words I constantly think about for Mo Yi is messily human. He’s like a bundle of contradictions, but coherent because it’s being intentionally done.

Mo Yi doesn’t discriminate against his patients, yet he can be elitist and looks down on others. He wants to let MC have dangerous experiences, but also wants to protect her. He wants to be perfect, but he also wants to reveal himself entirely to his MC because that’s real love.

In contrast, Xu Mo has a very clean and orderly personality LOL. You can draw clear cause and effect lines from his personality to his actions.

So, anyway, these are two interesting characters who start off with similar archetypes as scientific logical men of scholar/gentleman dispositions, but yet they’re also on opposite ends for a lot of things such as their approach to emotions and the world.

Oh wait, lastly, because I don’t have a good place to put this—but I think it’s funny—is that both characters are pretty possessive and greedy, but while Xu Mo does things in a sneaky, cunning and fox-like way Mo Yi gets ridiculously open about his jealousy and it’s hilariously cute but also almost childish? I often forget Mo Yi is older than Xu Mo by a year, because Xu Mo honestly feels a bit more mature than him LOL. If we count them actually aging by when their game came out though, then Mo Yi is 28 and Xu Mo is 29 now.

#mr love queen's choice #tears of themis #mlqc xu mo #mlqc lucien #wdsjb mo yi #love and producer #weiding shijian bu #mlqc #love and produc(ing) meta #tears of meta

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wearulikeanecklace · 3 years

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coney island and evermore: taylor’s apology to kaylors

it rained today and for the first time i was able to really sit down with evermore and try to work through the heartache and confusion caused by lyrics that had me taking turns between filling my wine glass in the kitchen and crying in front of the bathroom mirror

because i finished all the wine and am too dehydrated to cry anymore, i offer a hesitant but nonetheless hopeful interpretation of the heart-wrenchingly volatile emotional forklift of an album that is evermore

upon the first listen through, i really was convinced that kaylor had broken up. every time a new album gets released, it becomes increasingly difficult to understand the meaning behind songs that appear to have satisfying interpretations for both swifties and gaylors. for me, the two songs that really cut deep were coney island and evermore. they all seem to have this soul-shattering rawness with references to the struggle that tay has given kaylors a peek into throughout the years. after listening a few more times (and crying way more than a few times), i no longer think this song is about losing karlie- i think it’s about losing kaylors, the fandom that has stuck by her and vowed to stick around through her journey, as she has slowly but surely gotten closer to coming out and into her authentic self

fellow tired kaylors have definitely been vocal about their disappointments and decisions to stop following or supporting kaylor when times get tough and it seems that we’re back at the dead end we started from. but more than that, specifically i think this was written as a result of the backlash and hurt that came from the long pond sessions and taylor crediting toe with co-writing betty and straightwashing the entire song and narrative- something that was so sacred to the hope not only we felt, but that everyone felt, about betty being the queer anthem that could open a real window in the darkness to let the daylight shine through

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Break my soul in two looking for you But you're right here

perhaps this line is referencing her playing on two different narratives, looking for the community that can see through the PR lies and cover-ups- the fans that see her and support her and karlie together

If I can't relate to you anymore Then who am I related to?

this line cuts deep because she compares losing the fans that see her for who she really is as losing family- it’s such a special relationship to have with lgbtq+ fans, one in which we relate to taylor and her truth that she tells in her lyrics, and take comfort in knowing that she is like us

And if this is the long haul How'd we get here so soon?

again, i think this makes a lot of sense in the context of how many kaylors were vocal about how they really gave up after the william bowery ordeal, when most of the time we hang in there and proclaim to be in it for the ‘long haul,’ when she finally comes out

Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you?

this line is the one that made me fully trust that this song is a kaylor apology, because it references the Spade riddle, of love not being able to grow in closed fists, but rather open hands. her connection to us through her queerness of her songs is so sacred (and delicate), and it was incredibly painful for her to take that from us in the long pond sessions, especially when she could’ve remained vague in her explanation

Over and over Lost again with no surprises Disappointments, close your eyes And it gets colder and colder When the sun goes down

i think this captures how long kaylors have waited and continued clowning only to be disappointed or robbed of hope when she stunts with toe or reverts to straightwashing her music and persona

What's a lifetime of achievement If I pushed you to the edge? But you were too polite to leave me And do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

were all her achievements worth it when she wasn’t being her authentic self, and when she denied her truth so much to the point of losing the only people that could see it? kaylors constantly say something along the lines of “if she doesn’t come out by the next album, i’m done with her,” but then they’ll continue to stick around and continue to postpone the time that they will officially give up (did i leave you hanging every single day?). we were too polite, too invested, and we had too much love for tay to give up hope

if her coming out album really was going to be called ‘paradise,’ i imagine the ‘rogue’ being 1989 and rep, the first of album that strayed from denial and moved closer to acceptance, made clear by the more and more explicit queerness of lyrics and aesthetics. it kept us around imagining that she was close to coming out, it validated us and let us place our trust in her that one day paradise would finally happen.

but of course it didn’t and even after all this time, she is still stunting. she asks for forgiveness, for if we do give up because we stop trusting that she will finally come out, or for when she does, but it has taken so long that it’s no longer a big deal to us

The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go Sorry for not making you my centerfold

i think this references the 1989 era and the fast pace of it all, the lights that never blind her, and especially this era where the glass-closeting began- where we all became die-hard shippers of kaylor

she apologizes again- i know many people think this is about karlie and a reference to magazine covers- but i genuinely believe this is a reference to her career and PR in general. kaylors were never given the attention that swifties are- she can never publicly declare her love for us or interact with us in the way she wants in order to maintain her public narrative. we just stay in the background, having our own interpretations and trying to pinpoint the truth in her art, but we never get the spotlight. the easter eggs on magazine covers and big-time interviews are always filtered and not the total truth- though she does feed us well with kaylor hints and references behind the scenes.

But when I walked up to the podium I think that I forgot to say your name

this line falls into a similar meaning- when she stands on podiums thanking her fans for support and how happy she is that people can relate to her music- but she is never able to thank us kaylors, who see her for her and relate to her truth in her music

coney island is an apology to kaylors for not being able to acknowledge us or the truest parts of herself just yet

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as for evermore, i think taylor is again using this song to work through and make sense of the pain that her and kaylors felt together after the betty explanation in the long pond sessions.

Gray November I've been down since July Motion capture Put me in a bad light

these lines reference November, when the long pond sessions were released and the backlash occurred not long after. the sessions are the film that put her in a ‘bad light,’ showing her credit toe with betty and slowly destroy us with the seemingly never-ending nervous hetsplanation of betty being written from a male perspective

I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone Trying to find the one where I went wrong

i think this references the song visual for betty on Spotify, which was her walking along the ‘stone wall’

I rewind thе tape but all it does is pause On thе very moment, all was lost Sending signals To be double-crossed

i think these lyrics probably provide insight into her rewatching that moment of the sessions, another moment where she is freezing her ground and not being able to move forward into a future where she can be open about who she is. some people thought that her explanation of betty was intentionally supposed to sound ridiculous, or that we’d know she was lying- that she was giving us signs that this was not true and that it was just to satisfy the other side of the fanbase, give promotion to toe, or strengthen her chances of winning more Grammys. she thought she was doing what she always does, splitting herself into two, playing both sides- but she did not recognize how much this would hurt us, how much we would lose by losing betty.. and by words coming from her own mouth especially. our loss turned into her loss because so many kaylors gave up after this moment

i won’t go into detail surrounding lyrics that seem pretty evident regarding the pain and hurt that being in the closet and letting down kaylors has caused her, but i do strongly believe that through these lyrics, she is speaking to us <3

#evermore #coney island #gaylor swift #gaylor #taylor swift #betty hits harder #betty #folklore #kaylor

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lifewithsyfe · 3 years

Text

PLAYING WITH FIRE

Not quite sure how to put this into words, but someone else needs to know what I know. This story can save so many people and I won’t feel right until it’s consumed by as many as possible. I can’t express how many times I’ve tried to get this out. I almost even gave up on it, but God wouldn’t let me. So, let me make another attempt at it - this is how I escaped the devil:

It was a Friday night, April 5th, 2019.

I’m at El Rey on U street, having a few cold ones by myself. Just got off work, taking it easy...

Then, I end up running into and old “friend” I used to hangout with. Known him for about 7 years at the time: (Dave) - tall, black, dreads, above average build.

After a couple of drinks, he asks if I want to hangout at one of his friends house. Said we can smoke there and that she has a lot of drugs.

So I accepted cuz I was originally going to let the night unravel on it’s own and it didn’t sound like such a bad idea at the time.

It was a habitual routine I developed during my heartache…

I’d go out alone, run into a group of people I knew, bar hop ‘til we ended up at an after hours spot (or someone’s place) and shamelessly sleep my next day away.

So we get to the front of his friend’s building and it’s like a 60sumn-year-old lady:

(Robin) - fat, white, short, blue hair, top row gold grill and “ride or die bitch” tattooed on the back of her neck (amongst a couple others, but that one stood out most cuz it was in my face, while she was unlocking her apartment door).

At first, I thought it was a descriptive-type of tattoo. Like, she was saying that that’s what she was.

But in retrospect, it was almost like it was something she was saying to me - you’ll see what I mean later, if you don’t get it now.

Oblivious to what was about to happen next, I continued to walk through that door...

Something felt off, but I just figured it would be something low-level weird.

I’m always seeing signs that show somebody dabbles in magic or the dark arts, but I figured “if I’m not actively practicing divinity or doing weird rituals, it won’t personally affect me…if I don’t create a ceremonial invitation, then I’ll be okay.”

Now, I’ve already had a good amount of spiritual experiences at this point (good and bad), but for some reason I just didn’t think anything like this would happen…at least not to me.

I thought I had it all figured out, cuz I thought I’d seen it all - or at least enough.

I should’ve known though…I was just so emotionally numb at the time, I was doing anything to feel anything.

I mean aesthetically, she looked like she’d have a few good stories or something. Needless to say by now, but I ignored the red flags.

So, moving forward...

We walk in, sit on the couch, watch skate videos and start breaking down.

After a few minutes of small talk, they offer me some acid from a vile. Emphasizing how it was very high grade stuff - but I didn’t need much convincing anyway.

I was very into psychedelics and considered myself extremely experienced in that realm.

But just because I did it a lot, didn’t mean I was. You couldn’t tell me I wasn’t though.

It was usually my go-to for when I needed that unrivaled escape from reality.

So yeah, I took the witch’s brew thinking it was something I considered fun.

Once it starts to kick in, I can feel her beginning to stare at me from the end of the room - with a big grin on her face.

She then suggested that I take my jacket off cuz I’m going to end up getting really hot, and cackled like it was the funniest thing the world to say.

It was something she said a couple of times too. At first I didn’t know exactly what she meant, I just thought she was a basket case - but she was implying that I was going to end up in Hell…you’ll see what I mean.

A few moments go by and they suggest we move the party to the rooftop cuz her place was limiting and we could see more from up there.

Plus, she wanted to blow bubbles…and I figured “tripping indoors is boring anyway, why not?”

Now because I took my jacket off and left it in her apartment, I began shivering after a while.

I didn’t expect for it to be that windy, I wanted a nice little breeze.

So she says she’ll get me one, cuz she had to go in for more soap anyway - comes back and asks to put this fur coat on me.

It was a nice coat, so I let her.

So I’m cozy now and she gives me a tour, showing me the cool visible parts of the city.

Telling me not to be afraid of my true potential and that I can obtain everything I want.

I was feeling pretty good about those words, until I thought “that sounds familiar…what if she isn’t speaking in general?” - but I just chalked it up to her being an old hippy.

She then grabs my arm and tells me to look at this red wall, as we walk to the other side of the building. I figured it’d be something visually enticing she was trying to share, but this was going to be her first attempt at hypnosis.

She asked if it felt like my soul was being massaged - encouraging me to ride it out. Essentially, trying to get me to put my guard down, saying “this is where dreams become reality.”

Then, I began seeing holographic outlines of people in the wall. The traces reminded me of a glowing snail trail.

Right after, I saw myself turn into a block of flesh and almost being slid into the wall if I stared any longer.

But like I woke up in one of those falling dreams, I snapped out of it.

With a laugh attached, she says “damn, almost!”

And that’s when I stopped letting myself be completely naive. The veil was clearly being lifted before me and I needed to be alert. It’s just, I had this slight muffle surrounding my common sense.

Now I knew hallucinogens were considered sorcery in the Bible, but I figured - one more time won’t hurt. It’s not like I wasn’t still smoking and drinking.

It’s just crazy, cuz it was after learning about what the fallen angels taught us, is when I decide trip again.

I blatantly chose to play with fire and defy God that night.

See, these hypnotic spells are telepathic contracts. Once the manipulator is installing a vision, it’s at the last second where it becomes your choice to see what happens next.

It nudges at your curiosity, feeling like it’s a part of the trip you’re supposed to let ride out.

But every time I almost did, my heart wasn’t having it and I’d snap out of it again.

Every time she would cast a spell, I could feel my soul almost getting pulled out - with a malicious presence surrounding me.

The goosebumps I got from this thing, felt like it was ready to defile me in every way possible.

In disbelief that what I thought might be happening, wasn’t - I tell myself “let me not cause a ruckus for no reason, I am trippin’ after all. Think of something positive.”

But now my eyes are shifting everywhere, cuz I keep getting a glimpse of whatever’s approaching.

Even with that many peculiarities, something kept me in denial.

Still though, she tries another set-up and tells me to look at how high up we are, as she gestured for me to look down from the rail. As if I didn’t already know, but I go cuz I also didn’t want to be rude.

So I grab the rail and lean over…

(Dave) says “don’t let go,” giving me this wide-eyed look with a smile and said “you feel it, don’t you?”

Then just like that, my heart jumped and my mind began getting flashes of demonic symbols and images like subliminal messages.

My vision was about to go black, like the circle closing at the end of a cartoon…until I snapped out of it and backed up with my head on a swivel, angrily questioning them.

That’s when I caught (Dave) behind me, quickly hiding his hands.

Now I’m on survival mode and it feels like I can’t even make a step without risking my soul. I can feel that I’m being made a fool out of, but of course they gaslight me and try to calm me down…

I still didn’t want to believe I was in this kind of mess, but I’d be naive to let all that slide so easily.

So with caution, I’m trying to plan my escape - playing it as cool as I can, but my body is getting heavier by the second.

She then lifts her speaker and says “listen to these different frequencies, it can change your mood.”

I really wasn’t trying to listen, because I needed to leave and I didn’t trust her at all now. Especially not with anything sound related.

But then out of nowhere, I hear a distorted garble come out of the speaker and hit my ear.

I said “huh!?”

Then (Dave) was like “oh, you heard that...?”

I looked away and acted oblivious, cuz I felt that if they knew I could hear that, they’d bring out the big guns.

(Dave) laughed, saying to Robin “wait, he still don’t know what this is yet?”

Unintentionally, or intentionally letting me know.

So I tried to leave and they started laughing. Trying so hard to keep me there…

(Dave) said “you already ‘bouta do it, it’s better this way anyway.”

Then he was like “look at my hands, this shit trippy, right?”

Followed by him creating an infinity symbol with his waving hands.

Now this infinity symbol was made of light and floating in mid-air in front of him after he did it.

Right after that, he did the hermaphrodite/goat-headed deity’s pose, flipping his hands and head perfectly in a stiff dance.

Which then caused me to see it’s true form in my minds eye. I snap out of it once again, trying to get a hold of my reality.

Once I can see them again, it’s like time stood still and only I could move.

I’d look around and they’d be frozen.

At this time, I can hear them having two conversations, simultaneously.

All I caught was (Dave) say “he can’t hear us in this plane.”

Then as he slowly got up - like I was tuning through a radio, I hear a screeching static clear up. The sound then becomes like an electronic bleating and bellowing from a goat, in-sync, surrounding him.

At this moment, I’m a part of their their collective conscious conversation - essentially telepathy.

Then they began letting me know who they were.

Saying that they were angels, that they were around before us and that I can be like them.

The whole time they were talking to me, they were trying to weaken and hypnotize me with hand signs - trying to convince me. Thing is, when they did try to convince me, they’d always talk around the subject at hand - but once you know what the subject is, the situation becomes clear.

A lot of people might think they’d get physical and get out of there. I just don’t think they’d understand how it is fighting sleep paralysis, awake.

I also knew that one false move would take me to the ‘sunken place.’

I knew I couldn’t just stand there though, but right before I grab the door to get to the elevator, (Dave) says “okay, you gon’ be waiting on that elevator forever; this is a REAL trip…c’mon, I thought you liked this shit.”

Mockingly he asked “yeah, I guess you gon’ think twice about taking LSD again huh?”

I was thinking in my head “fuck, did I really just lose my soul? Is this how it happens? Is this where it all ends?”

I thought that was it, so I was about to give in and accept the offer - see what benefits I could get, if any.

Then from there, every time we almost sealed the deal, I would feel a hungry fire approach me from behind.

The one time I decided to look for where it was coming from, I got a vision with an orange blur in it - slowly materializing, until I could make something out of it. With the bit that I saw, I knew it was me being swallowed by fire and not dying.

Immediately after, almost as if I had touched the flames themselves, I yelled in confusion “wait, what? No! Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior!”

To which (Dave) nonchalantly responds “okay, you do that...that [N-word] died a long time ago.”

I look at him with disgust and continued to pray.

Telling God that He would never abandon His children if they encountered evil and that if there was a way for Him to save me to do it.

(Dave) says that I’m blowing his trip and leaves to the gas station.

At this time I could’ve left, but I still didn’t want to be alone in an elevator with him.

So as I’m praying, I begin to feel the dark grip they had on my heart loosen up. It was like my heart was pumping electricity throughout my body, then all around it. I could feel the forcefield - Christ had arrived and I could move my body freely. No more fear in taking the wrong step.

So on (Dave’s) way back, (Robin) announces it and says let’s go downstairs and get him. That’s when I hear (Dave) say - not yell, “open up” from all the way downstairs and I was amazed...I was like “wait, can he still hear me?”

With him responding “DUH! Damn, you some shit!” and continued on his way.

So if I was to leave, this was going to be my chance.

In the elevator she tries enchanting me again, but I rebuked every attempt.

I’m trying to maintain focus the best that I can, so I don’t slip - which made this elevator ride unnecessarily more intense than it needed to be.

Once the elevator door finally opens, I see (Dave’s) silhouette behind a thick glass rail, carrying an ominous slouch.

Walking towards me, he notices that I’ve calmed down. So when he sees my face, he smiles and asks “oh, you’re good now?”

I replied “I am and I’m not with the goofy shit y’all up to - I’m gettin’ the fuck outta here.”

So as I’m walking towards the exit, he yells “that’s not the way out!”

To where I respond “fuck y’all!”

You would’ve thought I opened the door before touching it, the way I left out so fast.

As that door closed, I did a little jog to get across the street.

But a few seconds later, I feel this tingle in the back of my brain, as though it had neck hairs that stood up.

I look over my shoulder and noticed he decided to follow me…of course. Shortly after I noticed him - with that bull-like slouch, he started running.

Now I was a little ahead of him, so I didn’t start running yet. I had to make sure I knew where I was going before exerting my energy.

Every time I moved my head, I could feel the tingle coming from his direction.

So there was no losing him - but I am fast.

I couldn’t call a ride because my phone was dead and I couldn’t go to anyone’s house at the time, cuz it was around 5am now.

As (Dave) got closer, I felt my vision going black and my body getting heavy again. A lot stronger this time…time to kick it into high gear.

Once it clicks into my head that the easiest place to catch a taxi in such a heated moment would be in Adams Morgan, an opportunity presented itself.

Ahead of me was a crosswalk and the orange hand was counting down it’s last seconds. Everything I ever learned told me I wasn’t going to make it, but I wasn’t going to stop running either.

So when my foot lands off the sidewalk, is when the cars to my left and right begin to move.

That’s when everything moved in-slow-motion…and a burst of energy launched me across the street.

I’ll remember that moment as my own Air Jordan.

That moment bought me time, but he kept going too. This is when I start hearing echoed garbles crawl off buildings and jump into my ear “you acting like a bitch - come back!”

Perfectly as if he was next to me…I look behind me and it’s like he hasn’t broke a sweat. Completely focused.

From the gas station diagonal to the 9:30 Club, to the McDonald’s in Adam’s Morgan.

My body wanted to give out most of the way, but soul wouldn’t allow it.

I just had to keep running until I found a taxi - which I did.

That’s when (Dave) caught up, yelling “you look like an unk right now!” cuz 4 taxis stopped for me in that intersection.

To where I respond “I don’t give a fuck, I made it out alive!”

I get in the car and tell the taxi driver to drive towards Maryland, that I’ll give him the address on the highway.

Finally, after surviving a living nightmare, I made it home.

I went to my room, played some worship music, got on my knees and wrung myself out of tears to Christ.

Afraid to sleep because I knew they could contact me in my dreams.

So I didn’t until the drug wore off in the afternoon the next day…

I even felt that burn on my back as if it was sunburn for the next couple of weeks.

I’m so grateful to still be alive, because I’m 100% positive I’d be in Hell (with something else in my vessel) if I didn’t call on God that night.

It was like I was tiptoeing on a needlepoint to keep my soul.

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bettsfic · 3 years

Text

february pinned: the real & the ideal

in this month’s edition of my lowkey writing-related newsletter, in addition to my writing-related post roundup and consultation availability, i have short story recommendations for you and an essay on the nature of reality in fiction!

if you want to receive my lowkey writing-related newsletter directly, you can subscribe here.

in other news, i finished two fics this month:

digging for orchids (hualian, 43k, explicit, fake marriage au)

let ruin end here (hualian, 8k, mature, neighbors au)

full newsletter below the cut, or you can read it here.

oof,

what a month. january is already a rough time. throwing in a pandemic, a coup, and an economic revolution spearheaded by reddit just seems unfair. as for me personally, the spring semester came at me fast and even though it’s only week 2, i am already buried in grading. which i realize is my fault, considering i’m the one who assigned homework.

so after hearing your feedback, i thought i’d make this newsletter even more writing-related by writing more about writing. this month i’ll start off by talking about the nature of reality in fiction in a segment i call “been thinkin a lot about.” more on that below.

new resource

i’ve compiled a folder of PDFs of the short stories i teach most often, which is to say, the stories i like enough to re-read every semester. most of them are literary fiction but a few veer into fantasy, sci fi, and horror.

i know before the MFA, i didn’t really know what a short story was. like i knew, abstractly, the concept of a short story (it is as it sounds), but i could only list a couple i’d ever read as an adult, and i hadn’t read anything that had been published in the last decade. i remember wondering why i was even being asked to care about short stories. who writes short stories? who reads them? apparently, a lot of people. short storyists are a lot like fanwriters in that they make no money and when you talk about your writing in public, people give you that “why would anyone waste their time with that?” look.

so here’s why i was asked to care about short stories: a good short story gives you the entirety of a world in a very condensed space. moreover, it can sometimes leave you as satisfied as a novel in a fraction of the reading time. all the stories i’ve compiled here are ones that stuck with me, that i find myself recommending over and over to writers who want a good example of developing character, or weird narration, or establishing stakes.

if you’re a writer considering publication or an MFA in creative writing, i highly recommend familiarizing yourself with short stories, if for no other reason than to get the feel for them so you can write some of your own. if you can get a few short story publications under your belt, it’ll be easier to open doors when you’re ready to query agents for a novel. also, short stories make a great writing sample for grad programs, workshops, fellowships, residencies, and grant funding.

if you want to check out more short stories but have no idea where to start, the 2020 best american short stories just dropped in november, or if you want a cheaper one, used copies of 2019 and earlier are available on thriftbooks. if you want an overview of the history of the (american) short story, there’s also the best american short stories of the century. fair warning, though, while it’s more diverse than expected, it’s still a bit heavy on dead-white-dude writing.

content warning: the stories in the above-linked folder may depict instances of sexual assault, suicide, and/or abuse. i have not labeled them individually with warnings but i hope to soon, as well as provide a catalog with summaries.

i’m also still working on my essay and novel recs. more to come on that hopefully next month.

writing-related posts

how i quit my banking job to do a creative writing MFA

how i learned to read faster/stop subvocalizing

how to write when you have no time or energy to write

my experience writing fic in small/dead fandoms (aka fics that will probably not get any traffic)

how to describe facial expressions

how to ask for help from your professors

how to navigate tenses during flashbacks

how to separate yourself from your work

how (and why you might want to) write a shitty first draft

why you should consider making the climax the inciting incident

for a complete list of my writing-related posts, check out this masterdoc (which i still need to update it with the past few months’ posts).

stuff i’m into rn

i’m about halfway through the rhetoric of fiction by wayne c. booth which has more or less become my narrative bible. it’s a little dated (1961) but it tackles banal writing adages that are somehow still believed, like “show don’t tell” and whatnot, and breaks them down with amazing insight, clarity, and research. it’s a bit of a dense text so i’m only reading a few pages a day, i think the first time i’ve ever let myself read something so intentionally slowly. now i’m kind of obsessed with doing things slowly. reading slowly, writing slowly, cooking slowly. i even drive slowly, because it’s so rare to go anywhere at all, and i want to enjoy it. also, it’s very snowy where i am. also also, the battery died in my car this month and i really have to make it a point to drive more often.

february availability

i have 2 openings for initial writing consultations in february! if you’re interested, please fill out this google form.

you can learn more about my services on my carrd.

been thinkin a lot about

compulsory reality in fiction. many of us have probably received feedback along the lines of, or thought to ourselves as we read, “that’s not realistic.” many of us believe, consciously or not, that fiction that is more “realistic” is inherently better than fiction that is less “realistic.” for some of us, real means a saturation of details, the clear depiction of the surfaces of things. reality is found in the rendering thereof; if you can “see” it, it’s real. for others of us, it might be the development of complex characters and their growth across a narrative. and for yet others, reality is subtlety, or misery, or the idea of “slice of life,” a term i don’t think means anything, because aren’t all stories a slice of a character’s life? what would a story that’s not a slice of life look like? you’d either have to take away the “slice” part and render a whole life, which is impossible, or you’d have to take away the “life” part and create a dead story, which may be possible, but why would you want to? even if you wrote a story about a rock, the rock would be brought to life by virtue of being written about.

anyway. i think the word “real” is a shitty word for the same reason “slice of life” is a shitty phrase: everything is real and therefore nothing cannot be real. slices of life are all we know because we are alive and cannot truly perceive not being alive; reality is also all we know, and any depictions beyond reality are thus made real because they have been depicted.

so the “goal” for fiction to be “realistic” seems to me to be a false one. all fiction is real because it exists and no fiction can be truly real because it’s only a facsimile of reality. not to get all “this is not a pipe” but writing is just making squiggles, and we as a community of English-knowers agree that certain squiggles correspond to certain sounds, and certain sounds together make words which conjure meanings. and words put together into sentences into paragraphs conjure even more complicated meanings. and when those paragraphs are woven into narrative we create yet more and more complicated meaning.

every time you write anything — a text message, an email, a tweet, a fanfic — you are taking the infinite abstraction of your own cognition, narrowing it into a single concept, and representing that concept with patterns in the form of sounds represented by letters and given meaning with words, so that the infinite abstraction of your own conscience can be fractionally witnessed by the infinite abstraction of someone else’s. and even though we can’t definitively prove for ourselves that any other thing possesses a consciousness, writing shows us the shape of someone else’s mind, and tells us we are not alone.

and yet we still expect writing to be “real.”

have you ever read a story where a character sneezed? like just, a description of a sneeze for the sake of it, with no purpose or function in the plot? if not, is it because our characters aren’t real enough to sneeze, or because the sneeze isn’t relevant to their plight? what would a written sneeze look like, and why would somebody want to write it? moreover, why would somebody want to read it? that leads me to wonder, do we depict reality in the service of narrative, or narrative in the service of reality? in other words, do we write to portray reality (sans sneezing), or do we depict reality to constrain our writing, the way one might request bumpers when bowling so as not to fall in the gutters?

i’ve never read an artful rendition of a character pissing or shitting, either, even when those things are related to a character’s plight and circumstance — stories involving long road trips, living in the woods, being kidnapped. the only exception i can think of is when those things are eroticized (we do not kinkshame here in this lkwrnl), the same way it’s rare to find detailed sex writing that isn’t for the purpose of reader arousal. are there just some things about the nature of being human that are too intimate, too complex, or too boring to write?

once i wrote a murder that takes place in a small fictional midwestern town in the 90s (for the ~aesthetic), and it went uninvestigated by said town’s police force. early readers repeatedly commented along the lines of, “that’s not realistic.” and i thought, no, if anything, the incompetence of police is too realistic for the heightened reality i’m trying to render. have you ever heard of a cop solving a murder that didn’t come with an obvious suspect or immediately found evidence? i haven’t. that doesn’t mean those cases don’t exist, but i definitely think they’re less likely than mass media has us believe, and the average small-town police force has far less motivation (and possibly training) to solve crimes than we think.

i started working on the above-mentioned novel in 2016, and my goal was to depict a reality that hovers above the surface of plausibility. in this novel, which is based on macbeth, a preteen girl, mercy, becomes jealous of the love her best friend elisa shows to her father. mercy decides to get her older and very unstable brother to kill him. naturally the deed goes awry, but it does occur, and the cleanup is far messier than anticipated.

is it plausible for a 12 year old girl to plot and execute the murder of her best friend’s father? no. is that what this book is about? yes. a book about a 12 year old girl who has a perfectly healthy relationship with her best friend and who has no feelings toward her bff’s father one way or another is probably far more “realistic,” but that’s not the book i’d want to read and certainly not the one i want to write. my goal of a heightened reality is what henry james calls the intensity of illusion, the thing that allows a reader, through the witness of one’s distilled cognition into language, to exit physical, knowable reality, and enter a new and unknown reality. and isn’t climbing to that higher place, that intensity of illusion, the purpose of fiction? if it’s not, what is?

the best feedback i got on the aforementioned murder scene was from one of my professors, who, of the perfect calm of all children involved, said, “they just shot a guy. at least one of them would be freaking out.”

he was totally right, but it opened up a lot of questions for me. by what standard did he reach that conclusion? was it something in the chapter itself, was it his personal understanding of the work of narrative, or was it the logical conclusion of the slim plausibility of the scenario? moreover, where did i come up with the idea that all of my preteen characters would commit a murder and proceed to be very chill about it? if an implausible scenario begs the expectation of emotional distress, would it be more compelling to buy into that expectation or deviate from it? is it even my obligation to be compelling when i can never have a cogent grasp of the personal tastes of my audience?

that brings me to what appears to be reality’s opposite: idealism, the state those of us who write fanfic are often trying to achieve. we’re working in an entire genre of ideals, of happily ever afters, of hurt that is always followed by comfort, of glossily rendered sex during which everyone orgasms and no one has to pee afterward. we fix broken texts and continue incomplete ones. sometimes, we want to make existing things better, deeper, more complicated. but all the time, we want to make a text more than what it is.

some see this process, this drive for the ideal, as antithetical to realism, and i think that’s part of the reason fanfiction and other idealistic genres (romance, etc.) get a bad name — the assumption that more real (which for some means more miserable) is better, and therefore its opposite, the ideal, is worse. for them, i have this quote from vladimir nabokov:

For me a work of fiction exists only insofar as it affords me what I shall bluntly call aesthetic bliss, that is a sense of being somehow, somewhere, connected with other states of being where art (curiosity, tenderness, kindness, ecstasy) is the norm.

the ideal, aesthetic bliss, the intensity of illusion. these are all phrases that boil down to the same thing: you the writer get to define the constraints of your own reality. you get to choose if your world even complies with the known laws of physics. and if it doesn’t, you get to choose which ones to break, and why to break them. you get to choose if your stories take place in a real house in a real town on a real day. if you wrote a story that takes place on september 11, 2001, would the events of that story be shaped by the events of that actual day, or are you writing a better world where 9/11 doesn’t happen? consider the consequences of both: why might you want to write reality? why might you want to write ideality? how do these things shape your identity and goals as a writer?

no matter where a work falls on the real-ideal spectrum, you have to accept that prose itself will only ever be a verisimilitude of reality and therefore an interpretation of it, one that might be interpreted differently by a reader. in writing and everything else, you can never have complete control over what others perceive. it’s like giving someone cash as a gift. they might buy themselves something nice with it, or they might spend it on groceries. the point is, eventually we all have to let go of our realities.

#lkwrnl #pinned

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askkrenko · 3 years

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Krenko’s Guide to Pokemon: Eevee Line

Part 1. Because seriously.

DESIGN:

Eevee was intentionally designed to be some sort of generic wild critter that could exist but doesn’t. Given traits of all sorts of small, furry things, the purpose of Eevee is to be cute, lovable, and evoke the feeling of ‘some animal.’ It is simultaneously known to everyone and completely unknown. Everyone recognizes Eevee but nobody actually knows what it is. Eevee is, above all else, THE ‘normal’ Pokemon.

And honestly, it’s totally freaking adorable. Eevee is the best rabbit dog fox kitty thing that ever was, and nobody doesn’t love Eevee. Its design basically couldn’t be better. There’s a reason this fuzzlewuzzle regularly competes with Pikachu for being the face of Pokemon. Sure, it can’t quite win, but it’s up there.

But the concept of Eevee is really the interesting one. Eevee was the first Pokemon with branching evolutions, and while other Pokemon have gotten such since then, Eevee has always had the most. Starting with three in Generation 1, there are currently eight possible evolutions of Eevee, and there could easily be more on the way. This puts the Eevee line in a really notable position. I always love when a Pokemon has a unique gimmick, and while in combat each Eeveelution might just be another, having an Eevee with so many options to choose from makes it an interesting Pokemon to obtain.

But before we discuss the designs of any evolutions, let’s talk about the non-evolved alternate form: Gigantamax. Like Pikachu and Meowth, GIgantamax Eevee is just a gimmick. The Pokemon’s not strong enough to be used, and Gigantamax Eevee can’t actually evolve, so it’s just there to be big and fluffy and cute… and it just fails at that. It’s not that Gigantamax Eevee isn’t cute- of course it is- but it’s not cuter than Eevee is normally, and the big bushy collar isn’t nearly as fun of a unique touch as Meowth being memes or Pikachu going back to its fat gen 1 design. Sadly, Gigantamax Eevee is a waste of everyone’s time.

And now onto the actual evolutions.

VAPOREON:

Vaporeon is an interesting and unique creature, with large fins on its head and small ones down its back and tail giving it the appearance of a fish, but still with a clearly mammalian mouth and legs. Vaporeon is clearly aquatic and clearly related to Eevee, but other than that it simply doesn’t look like anything. And yet Vaporeon still has a clear design and aesthetic, as something that could maybe possibly be something between a dog, a seal and a dolphin. It’s an elegant, clean design that looks fantastic without looking absurd.

JOLTEON:

Jolteon’s just yellow with spikes. It’s simple, but it works. There’s nothing weird about Jolteon’s design in the least, though admittedly that means there’s nothing overly special about it. Jolteon is just what happens when you take Eevee and make it cool, and other than the bright coloration there’s nothing particularly odd about it. One of the more subdued Eeveelutions, I like it, it’s cool, but I don’t exactly have specific praise for it.

FLAREON:

Flareon looks even more realistic than Jolteon. The red coloration’s a bit bright, but other than that it’s just a big ol’ floofy floof. The shape and color of its fur suggest fire, but unlike many fire types it doesn’t feel the need to actually be on fire. Like Jolteon, Flareon is a good, clean design.

It’s also noteworthy here that the first three Eeveelutions have big collars, like Eevee does. The rest do not. Honestly, I really like this part of the design, but I understand why not all would have it.

ESPEON:

The psychic evolution, Espeon’s purple colors are a bit more out there than the previous three, and my first instinct when looking at it is that it’s supposed to be hairless like a Sphynx Cat, but then it has those huge tufts on the side of its face that are clearly hair despite it not having tufts or even signs of fur anywhere else. They’re too high to be whiskers, too, so they just come across as weird. In fact, everything about Espeon is weird, and not always for the better. The split tail is a cool design, but I don’t understand what it’s going for. The jewel on the forehead I DO understand as a psychic focus, but it’s so obviously artificial compared to the previous Eeveelutions that it feels out of place. In fact, the core concept of Espeon feels a bit out of place. Most of the Eeveelutions are the result of stone or location radiation, and Umbreon happens at night. Espeon levels up in the day time with affection, and somehow becomes a psychic type. A psychic type whose pokedex entry calls the Sun Pokemon.

Eevee’s whole gimmick is that when exposed to weird stuff it transforms, so I have a hard time understanding why a happy Eevee turns into a psychic type during the day. If it was just about the strong bond with its trainer, why does the sun matter? And if the sun does matter, what’s going on with its everything?

Espeon ultimately just doesn’t work for me. It reads wrong as a creature and I don’t understand how it fits in with other Eevee lore.

UMBREON:

Okay, what’s up with those circles? Black fur I get. Gold stripes I get. Floofy tail, red eyes, sleek body, sure sure sure. I am totally on board with that. But those clean, obvious golden rings absolutely take me out of this design. I get that they’re supposed to be moonlight rings or something, but I’d have been much happier if this thing had golden spots instead of such clean shapes, to make it look more like a realistic animal.

As far as actually fitting though, it makes sense as a Night-based Pokemon, but the Moon thing is a bit more of a stretch. It’s not nearly as bad as Espeon and the Sun, but Eevee plus Moonlight should result in a brighter, glowing Eevee, not a darker, more sinister Eevee. Umbreon also has a serious issue of its abilities not being what it says they are. For example, the Pokedex says it’s got poison; Umbreon has never naturally learned a poison type attack. Its rings glowing is supposed to be one of its key features, but none of its abilities reflect that.

This isn’t to say that I dislike Umbreon or Espeon overall. Some of my favorite Pokemon have been Umbreons and Espeons. Their designs just really don’t sell the story that they’re trying to.

LEAFEON:

So, now this is more like what I’m talking about. Eevee + Moss Rock/Leaf Stone = Eevee that’s turning into a plant. It’s still an animal, but with its ears and tail and some of its fur turning into leaves so it can now photosynthesize. Also the leaf is a sword because that’s bitchin’.

Now, while I am totally on board with Leafeon’s concept, I do think the design could’ve used a bit of tweaking. The head and tail are great, but the little leaf things coming off the body look a bit odd, and I’m not really sold on the mostly tan color scheme. I think it’d have looked better with more browns and greens. Specifically, brown legs and belly, green back and neck. Maybe a leafy collar like the original Eeveelutions all had collars. Still, I like it overall.

GLACEON:

I don’t particularly like Glaceon. While it reads as an Ice Eevee it doesn’t read as an Eevee infused with Ice or adapted to Ice so much as it reads as an Eevee with design elements that look ice-like. The sharp diamond shapes over it don’t actually have anything to do with ice the way Jolteon’s spikes are the result of electric charge or Flareon’s floof looks like fire. Further, the addition of what is clearly a hairdo is just sort of weird. It’s too sharp to look like it comes naturally and while it makes for an interesting visual element it doesn’t mean anything or serve any purpose in the Glaceon itself. At least Espeon’s split tail was supposed to be for sensing things. Glaceon just has huge flaps that are definitely a disadvantage in a fight and don’t seem to serve any purpose other than possibly attracting a mate.

Glaceon is a solid design for a creature but not for ‘this is an Eevee mutated by the ice element.’

SYLVEON:

OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ABOMINATION!?!?

Oh, it’s a cute fairy Eevee that’s pink and blue with ribbons and bows? You’d think so, and I don’t mind the color scheme for a fairy type but THOSE ARE NOT RIBBONS AND BOWS. Those are ‘feelers.’ Those are FLESH. Fur-covered, wriggly, boneless flesh.

This is bad. This is wrong. This is not okay.

This is not a fairy. This is an eldritch horror. Foxes should not have tentacles, and tentacles should not have fur.

And that’s not even getting into how much I hate Sylveon’s evolution method. Eevee evolves into Sylveon when it has affection and knows a fairy type move… but Eevee can just learn Baby-Doll Eyes on its own at level 15, so this isn’t a feat or anything special, it’s just a normal part of raising an Eevee. The worst part is that this is some weird new and special method to explain why you couldn’t have done it before, but the only actual change here is that Eevee didn’t learn Baby-Doll Eyes naturally before, so instead of something being discovered the world has just been rewritten to allow Sylveon to exist.

Because Sylveon is a monster from outside reality that has forced its way in here.

I hate Sylveon. I hate Sylveon so much. And to truly understand how much I hate Sylveon you need to understand that I love Eevee. I have two Eevee on my nightstand- named Artemis and Apollo after my Espeon and Umbreon from Gold and Silver. I make it a point to use Eeveelutions in every game, because I love them so much. One of my oldest RP characters was a Jolteon named Flash. On Halloween, I had one of my video game characters dress up as an Eevee to go to a costume party in an MMO. Which obviously didn’t have an Eevee costume so I had to assemble it. So my hate for Sylveon isn’t just ‘oh, this is an icky Pokemon,’ but I take its existence as an insult to Eevee, who I love so much.

You came to the wrong Eeveehood by Dakunart

TYPING:

What type do you want? Eeveelutions come in eight different types, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. But that’s Pokemon for you. And in the future we’ll probably get even more types. I just hope they have good designs and aren’t disgusting abominations.

STATS OVERVIEW:

We’ll talk about stats of Eeveelutions individually, but for now let’s note what they all have in common: numbers. Every evolved form of Eevee has a 130, a 110, a 95, two 65s, and a 60, for a total of 525 base stats, making for Pokemon that are highly specialized in some areas and very weak in others. This results in all of them having at least a decent stat array, except for Flareon, though whether their array is offensive, defensive, or more balanced varies.

Eeveelutions by Endivinity

MOVES OVERVIEW:

As with stats, we’ll discuss them for individual evolutions, but as they’re all evolved from Eevee they do share a large amount of their move pool. Eevee is notorious for learning Baton Pass naturally, a move so powerful and useful it’s been banned in many formats, and though it requires chain breeding, Eevee’s one of a relatively small number of Pokemon that can learn Wish.

Yawn, Substitute, Protect, and Rest all offer strategic options, and though not available in the current generation, Eevee could previously learn Toxic.

Actual attack forms for Eevee to learn pre-evolution are pretty limited, but an Eevee can learn Shadow Ball and Iron Tail, both of which have their uses.

Eevee does have a number of unique attacks, primarily from Let’s Go Eevee but also the Z-Move Extreme Evoboost. While all of these are viciously powerful to the point of being outright broken, Eevee’s evolved forms can’t learn them, and thus they’re not relevant in most competitive play.

Next time, we’ll start going down the list of forms and discussing them in the specifics. This one’s a doozy.

Eeveelutions by Lushies-Art

#Krenko's Pokemon Guide #Eevee #Jolteon #Vaporeon #Flareon #Espeon #Umbreon #Glaceon #Leafeon #Sylveon #Eeveelutions

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beevean · 4 years

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How I’d fix Shadow The Hedgehog (game)

What’s this? The game is already 15 years old and there’s no point into talking about it? Maybe so but I really like this game and I wish it didn’t make so many stupid choices :(

Instead of starting from Westopolis every time you want to take a new route, let the player start from the stage they wish. For example: I completed the 100% Dark route, and I want to take the Miracle of Love route where Shadow gets redeemed by Amy, so I restart from Cryptic Castle and do the Hero mission instead of the Dark one, changing my path from here. Simple as that.

10 endings may be overkill (see below for an idea to make them more bearable), but if you expand on them, most of them could be interesting. Show the full consequences of your actions - oh, you wanted to play the bad guy but chickened out at the very end (Pure Dark-Hero)? Okay, you’ll get an entire cutscene (or an entire block of text à la Forces if the devs are lazy) of Shadow ruling over the Earth as its new misantrophic dictator.

The only endings I really don’t like are the Neutral ones where Shadow out of nowhere believes himself to be an android. It’s stupid because it can easily be disproven (people often say that Shadow could cut himself and see if he bleeds, but I’m sure Omega could also tell if he’s organic or robotic) and because it only makes sense if you reach that ending through Iron Jungle: if you pass through Air Fleet or Space Gadget it seems that Shadow wakes up one day and has a mental breakdown. I’d change the Neutral-Dark route to have Shadow join Eggman’s ranks (because I really want some justice for the poor doc), the Neutral-Hero to be like the Semi Dark-Hero ending (Shadow simply deciding he knows what’s best for himself, not really learning anything), and the actual Semi Dark-Hero ending could be Shadow suddenly trying to repent for his actions, but it’s too little and too late.

Don’t force the player to replay 10 times to get the final ending. I’d personally remove the Last Story entirely because it ruins the point of the game in many ways, but if it’s really necessary to keep that Devil Doom fight, it could be integrated into the Pure Hero-Hero ending, as a bonus.

Have the ally dialogue in the game reflect your choices. For example, Rouge in G.U.N. Fortress should sound dejected, disappointed and desperate to bring back what little good Shadow has left in his heart; Black Doom in Final Haunt shouldn’t ask for Shadow’s help as if he didn’t ignore him for almost the entirety of the story, he should express his anger and frame his mission as a “last chance” he’s generously giving him or as a threat. Make them reference past missions if it makes sense. Again, consequences of your actions.

The bosses are a mess. Not only they’re too easy (with the exception of Sonic and Diablon which is just annoying), the ones in the middle of the game don’t take in count the mission you’ve beaten before (typical example: Shadow helps Black Doom but he still summons Black Bull to kill Shadow) and the ones at the end need to be far more than just 3 for 10 endings. Either move some of the mid-game bosses at the end of the paths (the Egg Breaker would be a better last boss than the Egg Dealer, and the Blue Falcon would be fun to fight in Cosmic Fall), change the dynamic of the battles depending on the ending (Black Doom could take advantage of the different environments and situations in G.U.N. Fortress, Cosmic Fall and Final Haunt), or come up with new battles entirely (for example, you could face just Sonic at the end of the Pure Hero-Dark path since they’re both children at heart).

The enemy system needs to be reworked entirely. First, make so that they attack you depending on the ally you have - aliens don’t shoot at you if you’re with Black Doom, G.U.N. soldiers don’t shoot at you if you’re with Sonic or one of his friends, but both of them attack you if you’re alone (it makes sense in-universe that they don’t know if you’re friend or foe and it also compensates for the Neutral missions being the easiest by far). Second, no need for those pointless “kill all enemies to proceed” parts, unless you give the player a way to circumvent them (it happens sometimes, when you can either Homing Attack a row of enemies or drop to kill the enemies of the opposite faction, but not often enough). Third, related to the previous point, no more bullshit like what happens in Cryptic Castle or Mad Matrix - I shouldn’t be forced to kill enemies that earn me scolding at best and harm my score at worst. And especially no more completely idiotic parts like what happens in Glyphic Canyon.

While I would just remove Black Doom entirely because who cares about him, that would change the plot too much. I’d rewrite him to put more focus on his creepy “we’re saving humans by turning them into cattle” mentality and on his implied mind control abilities (like the way he toys with Shadow in The Doom) and by giving him more funny quirks - the one time I liked him was when he got scared of the thunderstorm at the end of Sky Troops, lol, give me more Black Doom not understanding how Earth works

You want an edgy game? Fine. Go really all the way. Make a parody of cheesy action movies. Make the players laugh intentionally. Cute little Shadow with a gun twice his size should be the entire vibe of the game.

I don’t mind most of the “kill all enemies” missions (some of them are really cathartic), but to improve them I think that at least there should be some spares - for example, the mission wants you to kill 20 enemies, but there are 30 in the level. A radar would also work fine, especially in labyrinthine levels like The Doom. But in any case, I’d like more missions as fun as Circus Park Hero, or missions where you simply take a different path like Space Gadget Dark.

why did you promote the bike so much if it sucks ass, fix that and the car while you’re at it, or better yet don’t put them and leave the vehicles that do something special like the high-jumping walker

Make the game a little prettier :( almost every level is so ugly to look at. Use more tropes and colors! Where are the ice levels, the fire levels, the water levels? Why aren’t the jungles greener, why does everything have to be grey and purple? I don’t ask for a Sonic Heroes aesthetic, but an Adventure/2 one would work well.

Feel free to add anything else I might have missed!

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sh #not touching the plot itself because it's such a mess i wouldn't know where to start #and anyway i sorta like it in a so bad it's good way

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bbq-hawks-wings · 4 years

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Really long ask - Part 1: Hi, sorry for this long rant, but I just wanted to vent since I saw this latest story posted on AO3 and I am restraining myself on commenting on their story so I'm just letting my anger out here about it and other issues regarding fan-depiction of Hawks. It's vaguely related to your post on how DabiHawks or Dabi+Hawks stories make it all about Dabi and always made Hawks out to be the one who starts the problems in their relationship or is the one trying to get Dabi's

Content warning: passing mention of r*pe in a fanfiction.

LOOOONG post under the cut.

(Cont.)

Dabi's attentions when it's canon that it's the complete opposite. This latest story that came up in my feed was about Hawks "harassing" Dabi (who apparently has a backstory of r*pe) and Twice helps Dabi works out his feelings. Among the hoards of tags condemning Hawks, they decided to use "Hawks is very uncool in this fic heads up" so that's another one to add to my filters. I think I also have to block the "Dabi Needs a Hug" tags too bc he's always woobified like heck.

I really want to read stories where Hawks interacts with Twice since they have a bond/drama with each other, but people have been adding Dabi and either making it seem like Hawks has been gaslighting Dabi in their "relationship" or with Twice. I can acknowledge stories where Hawks feels guilty for what he had to do or Twice being anger/betrayed over Hawks' actions since that is actually what happened; but I will not stand for Dabi claiming Hawks took advantage of Twice or Twice and Dabi having feelings for each other with Hawks in the way bc Dabi is a) the one who let Hawks in b) knew Twice is gullible and c) used Twice as bait. Even in the stories that are cute/causal+funny, Hawks is always the one who gets threatened with fire, harsh insults, or guilted into compliance but the seriousness of the first 2 are always brushed off and the third kinda makes me want it that Hawks doesn't have friends bc most people write him as a bad friend who only cares about his own problems (especially the ones that write Hawks like a celebrity/night club person).

On writing Dabi, his issues always take priority over everything else, his family loves him, and the lov is always chill with him. He's usually written as the fun asshole/caretaker (bc of his big brother status or ablity to cook). Those factors aren't bad by itself, but it's extremely irritating when the writers/artists can give that level of care to Dabi, but just reduce Hawks to a meme who is a workaholic for the government/scared of punishment & not bc he really cares about the people he saves/helps. It's not like I hate the DabiHawks pairing, but the majority of the content (esp the recent ones), are frustrating to read & Hawks' character is usually written in bad out of character extremes. I am really mystified that I'm praying for canon content rather than fanmade most of the time.

Phew! After the back and forth it looks like we got to the end of that! (Or did we?! *Dun dun DUUUUN*) If not, though, feel free to keep the asks rolling. Lol Foxy and I are usually pretty happy to receive as many asks as people want to send even if it takes us a while, individually, to get to it. Now to finally address what you sent.

I find myself in a weird place when it comes to OOC fanfic because on the one hand people can write whatever they want, and I don’t really have a place to criticize them; but also when they blatantly and willingly misinterpret a character so they have grounds to bash on them it also leaves me acutely uncomfortable. I don’t think I’d call it “problematic” as much as a squick? Like, if they’re willing to blow past all the obvious proof to the contrary about their claims of a fictional character just because they hate them, then are they willing to do the same thing to a real person? Usually, those kinds of thoughts are pointlessly extreme, but we know those who unironically and/or unapologeticly call fans of the heroes “bootlickers” so... It’s like, ooc vent fics are also fine; and if you want to rewrite a character to fit the narrative scheme you’ve set up that’s cool as long as its tagged (“ooc [character]” or something) and/or just mention in the a/n that they knowingly and willingly mischaracterized them for the sake of the fic. Just. Don’t. Claim. It’s. Canon.

And speaking of canon, as much as I’m sure Horikoshi knew Hawks and Dabi were going to end up shipped I think it’s obvious that he never was going to canonically write them ending up together, yet here comes the “canon must validate my headcanon” crowd calling him a bad writer because the author had some bigger narrative goal in mind than having two pretty anime boys kissing.

And the worst part to me is, I feel there’s a distinct slice of the DabiHawks crowd missing out on some of the possibilities of this ship by intentionally mischaracterizing them. Like, the aesthetic equal/opposite draw of the ship is phenomenal as it is and I don’t even ship them, but I can see a wide range of possible fics based solely on the principle that they are canonically incompatible!

At the end of the day, Dabi is a dime-a-dozen edgelord - that pain in the butt OC that so many newbie D&D players make that they think is so deep and dark and mature, but is about as cookie-cutter as they come. It’s not that this kind of character is unsalvageable or a hopeless Gary Stu character, just that they don’t often come across as compelling in and of themselves or that they need more than just selfish hatred to carry them through a series. Two kinds of edgelords that can be done well are the “Out of the Ashes” edgelord and “I’ll Pull You Into Hell With Me” edgelord. The first kind recognizes there’s more to life than their sad backstory and getting even and thus choose to aspire to more noble causes - think Joel from The Last of Us. The second recognizes they’re actively doing wrong and come to embrace it - being more concerned with getting what they want than taking the moral high ground - think Frank Castle, aka the Punisher - and even these darker, “unsaveable” kinds of edgelord antiheroes can have redeeming qualities such as meeting and helping a young hopeful and telling them, “I know I’m on the road to hell, so if you want to save yourself you’d better not follow me.”

Dabi actually has what he needs to become the second type right now (assuming he’s Touya) and could even evolve into the first not unlike Kratos from God of War, but that potential can’t be fully recognized until you admit that he’s fundamentally self-centered and a bad person as-is. He may have the tragic backstory complete with justifiable hate at his genuinely abusive father, but rather than using that as fuel to see that never happen to anyone else like it did him - he just wants to get even. He burns people alive, knowing well he’s participating in the same destruction that his father committed to make him what he is now. He doesn’t recognize any of the merits of hero society and is only concerned with burning it to ash. He could use what happened to his family to incite compassion in his heart and take others under his wing, but instead he uses people as a mean to his own ends. He isn’t even proper grimdark - he’s just your run of the mill egotistical megalomaniac with a punk aesthetic.

And that’s still a good character in the grand scheme of things, maybe just not alone! Moreso, it’s a good villain and EVEN BETTER when you put him next to Hawks who is at his core:

Fundamentally Hopepunk!

Hopepunk is about being good and kind as an act of rebellion against a cruel and unfair world no matter how bleak it gets or how badly you’re beaten down. Despite his own cruel past, Hawks still has a heart to help others for no other reason than to help them, he constantly changes the odds to save as many people as he can when he’d be given a pass for letting the cards fall where they will, and not only is his aim to “help others” but to make sure that there’ll never be need for heroes again. He’s an active rebel against the system fighting with kindness and goodness, fervently looking and listening for the next opportunity to do good.

In agreement with you, Hawks and Twice are interesting to explore because while Twice is an optimist looking to make the world a better place, he’s still a step or two removed from Hawks’ worldview because Twice refuses to let go of the “family” he found for himself while Hawks is willing to sacrifice himself for others. That dynamic is so interesting, and it’s what made them so initially compatible and subsequently heartbreaking in canon.

And it’s such a disappointment to see this unwaveringly earnest character reduced to “shitty fratboy” so often. For a lot of people newer to his character I can understand the confusion, but there really isn’t an excuse if you’ve been reading the series, and the possibilities for fics with this canon personality are just so much more interesting to explore, especially with Dabi as his sort-of opposite.

For DabiHawks to work well, you have to recognize that something has to give in either of them. Some of the juiciest, most angsty content is when you have two characters grow close together over commonalities only to be reminded that despite everything else they share, that One Thing will always keep them from truly being able to see eye-to-eye. Either Dabi has to grow past his hatred and relearn compassion and empathy, or Hawks has to lose grip of that hopeful vision he has and fall into despair. Both options are good to explore, but both require the acknowledgement that Dabi’s view of the world is fundamentally bleak and selfish, especially compared to Hawks’. For a supposed revolutionary out to change the world for the better whose a diamond in the rough with a heart of gold, that’s not exactly on-brand; and at the end of the day the issue is that some are unwilling to admit that what they wanted Dabi to be is likely not going to happen and they love that fake version Dabi more than they love what Hawks actually stands for which is why Hawks always gets the shaft in the end.

I still personally hold a bit of a grudge against the DaiHawks ship as a whole purely because, as you said, Dabi always seems to take priority over Hawks instead of letting the two build a dynamic together. Hawks is always the one who has to give, and the torture porn some have made him go through to “make the ship work” is downright disturbing to me. Even at its height DabiHawks content completely flooded the Hawks character tags on Tumblr with some of the same problems that have persisted to this day such as emphasizing their aesthetic as opposed to their dynamic and rampant mischaracterization.

Anyway, that’s my long-winded response. What do you think, @autumn-foxfire?

#long post anon #autumn-foxfire #let's talk hawks

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tenshindon · 3 years

Note

Have you gotten Yamcha for the ask game yet? Or Tien? 😊

i have received Neither Chaps !!! So I will now do them both :) Pause on that :) gonna put this under a Read More since This Will Be Long <3

Yamcha:

Give Me A Character and I Will Answer:

Why I like them:

Uhhhh A Lot Of Reasons. Like. A lot. BUT I will be brief and say I like him because as a kid I always thought he looked cool and I always thought his first fight with Goku was radical. With My Big Man Brain Now I love him for just how sincere of a guy he is? And how loving and friendly and supportive? And I make fun of him for it but the wolf aesthetic genuinely is really cool- not to mention how he loves to change up his outfits and hairstyles!

Why I don’t:

I have no reason to hate this man. Like none exists. In The Most Platonic Way Ever he’s literally the perfect man and I would take him home to meet my mom and even then she would be happy with me dating a man if it was Yamcha Dragon Ball.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

I have so many favorite Yamcha moments and ergo episodes good god help me BUT I will name ONE off the top of my head so I’m not stuck here forever and I really love the baseball scene in Z for Many Reasons it’s just so good it plays on loop in my brain 24/7 so I Will Say episode 10 of DBZ :)

Favorite season/movie:

The Tien Saga.... legendary.... yes he did get his leg broken but everything before AND after that??? Immaculate. Perfect. Astounding. No The Tien Saga Is Not Therapy But I Will Use It As Such

Favorite line:

Anything Yamcha says is music to my ears and is pure gold, and aside from The Iconic “Looking good, Tien!” quote from Budokai 3, I gotta say my actual favorite quote??

“No big deal. Bones heal, just like everything else.” -Yamcha to Tien in reference to his broken leg after the 22nd World Tournament

Like. It’s SUCH a simple line but it’s SO telling of Yamcha’s character?? Tien literally broke his leg with no concern of the long-lasting effects of doing so, not to mention his dickish behavior beforehand towards Yamcha beforehand. So for Yamcha to just be ready to forgive him at the drop of a hat when he sees Tien’s seem sincerely apologetic? Dude no one talk to me I’m going to write an essay again.

Favorite outfit:

I Mean This In The Most Platonic Way Part II but Yamcha can make Literally Any outfit and hairstyle look good it should be illegal. However I am legally required to choose One (1) outfit and at this point we should all know how much I adore the desert bandit fit of his. It’s just such a classic and cute look to him (not to mention The Sword <3)

OTP:

Oh You Know :) but if you don’t it’s Yamcha and Tien- even as just Friends They’re So Good I’m Going To Write An Essay like god I want what they have so badly.

Brotp:

I love his relationship with Puar, like I genuinely would love a small arc dedicated to how they even became friends in the first place since their origin together is so mysterious yet intriguing? But aside from The Obvious answer I love his brotherly relationship with Goku and Krillin! Unfortunately that relationship wanes as they all get older but I’ll always cherish the moments where he radiated such Big Bro energy.

Head Canon:

I’ve got a dumb amount of headcanons it’s terrible BUT I think my favorite headcanon is that Yamcha’s leg never properly heals after the 22nd Tournament.

Unpopular opinion:

I. Have a lot. Of unpopular opinions. Just genuinely loving Yamcha’s an unpopular opinion in of itself BUT One of my unpopular opinions is that Yamcha’s a flirt, a cheater, and promiscuous. If he’s ever portrayed as a flirt towards women, I can give it the smallest pass in the world that he’s trying to cope but even then that’s such a stretch in my opinion- and I guess this is on top of being a headcanon but Frankly I don’t think Yamcha’s ever even kissed anyone- he’s playing the long game everyone he’ll get his kiss on his wedding day btw that’s like. Partially a joke; I joke around a lot that Yamcha’s Super dedicated to the whole Nothing Until Marriage idea lmao.

A wish:

For the love of God Yamcha pack up your shit and Puar and just move in with Tien your apartment’s shit.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

Honestly? I kind of don’t want Yamcha to get a girlfriend? But I also DO because he wants that the most in life and it’d be great to see SOMETHING nice happen to him!

My only gripe with him getting a girlfriend (and hopefully then a wife) would be that his girlfriend wouldn’t be that well defined of a character and she’d just be said in Passing Mentions.

5 words to best describe them:

Perfect, immaculate, loyal, courageous, lovely

My nickname for them:

Furry, Dumpy, and Wolfie!

Tien

Give Me A Character and I Will Answer:

Why I like them:

Again I Have A Lot Of Reasons BUT I love how like. Deceiving he is as a character. Like ask anyone and 90% of the time people will say Tien’s smart and serious and No Bullshit but no he is exactly the opposite he’s dumb as shit in any department outside of farming and fighting and he’s such a lil’ jackass when breathing next to Yamcha.

Sincerely though, I absolutely love his character development- it’s one of my favorite arcs in Dragon Ball to be honest but That’s An Essay For Another Time. I also love how funny he can be, intentionally or not, and he’s surprisingly really relatable at times? And just his dedication to fighting’s really neat too; at this point he MUST know he can never be stronger than Goku but he still tries nevertheless and that’s really indicative of his bullheaded personality.

Why I don’t:

You could not pay me to dislike him I’d sell my kidneys for Tenshinhan.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

Any episode from the gang’s escapades on King Kai’s planet good lord save me. That’s where Tien’s existence shines the best it’s so good.

Favorite season/movie:

His own saga man like. As much as I LOVE Redeemed Tenshinhan I also love how much of a jackass he was like why was he like that LMAO

Favorite line:

Again, aside from The Iconic x2 “Looking good, Yamcha!” quote, I gotta say it’s:

“Yes... sir! <3″ -Tien preparing to strike Goku with the volleyball fist during the 22nd World Tournament.

Also “I left Chiaotzu and Yamcha behind. This seems too dangerous for them.” -Tien to Gohan during the Resurrection F saga

Favorite outfit:

Like Yamcha, Tien’s outfits always hit. Not a SINGLE one misses. BUT I gotta say I love his classic tits-out look- more so for the fact I like how he shows off his scar as a kind of way to say he’s moved on from the Crane School like Damn Son you love to see it :,) Deep reasons aside, my second-favorite outfit’s got to be the Buu Saga listen man everyone just had the Hottest outfits in the Buu Saga you can’t blame me.

OTP:

Oh You Know :)

Brotp:

Tien has Two (2) friends in his life man the pool’s small but even if it WAS larger I would say Chiaotzu anyway LMAO. Love them dudes man.

Head Canon:

Tien is just. Terribly academically and socially stupid. The Social Ineptitude isn’t even a headcanon that’s just fact but when I said he’s stupid in every department But Fighting And Farming I meant it. Flirting with Tien is a nightmare. If you’re not Yamcha or Chiaotzu joking with him is a headache. He’s only smart in the vocabulary department other than that he couldn’t tell you how many planets are in the solar system. He’s dumb as rocks but is smart enough to convince everyone around him he’s smart because he knows what picayune means.

Unpopular opinion:

I have nothing but love and respect for Krillin, but it makes like. No sense to insist Krillin’s the strongest human on earth. Tien does not go hard on that grind 24/7 just for everyone- writers included- to reduce him to such trash when fighting. But why pit two kings against each other you know?

A wish:

Please just give him one good sexy fight that’s all I’m asking for. Also Tien PLEASE use the solar flare you dumb motherfucker YOU INVENTED IT??? Actually all of my wishes are fighting related but yeah Tien for God’s Sake acknowledge how crazy your move kit is and fuck it UP MY GUY.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

Tien please don’t get a random wife I fortunately cannot see that happening but for the love of God Toei if you make that happen I will actually commit arson. Any other fear I could have either has come true or cannot happen.

5 words to best describe them:

Deceivingly smart dumbass I love

My nickname for them:

Headass, Slap Head, My Man/s, Bald Motherfucker, Polyphemus Headass (I know Polyphemus is a cyclops but shush), Four Arms, Machamp, Stitch, Roach, King, and Ikea Dresser

#snap chats #both of them are really relatable to me for different reasons if i'm honest #but yeah !! hi :)#i had to be brief because if i wasn't we would be here for nine years #also yes i do have a lot of nicknames for tien and yes they are all insults #yamchaas #reply

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reverielix · 3 years

Text

guidelines

⇢ Please contact me if any of the links aren’t working. ⇠

general information

⇢ Writing is a form of self-expression, communication and escapism for me. I enjoy writing as a hobby, however, it is not my job. I don’t have an upload schedule nor do I owe anyone anything in regard of my writing.

⇢ I strike to create a safe space for humans of all ethnicities, sexualities, etc. and do not tolerate hate speech, discrimination or other forms of disrespectful behavior on this blog.

⇢ I currently only follow stray kids, bts and nct, but am always open for recommendations, whether it be artists to discover, songs or other content.

⇢ Have fun reading and feel free to politely correct any of my mistakes like inaccurate presentation of a certain group of people or other issues you might see with my content.

⇢ Although I am of age, I do not write smut or create any other explicit piece of content on this blog. So please, respect my decision, and keep it pg on here.

⇢ And most importantly; Always remember to stay kind!

request guidelines:

⇢ my requests are currently open

⇢ I exclusively write for stray kids (I don’t know many groups yet, but I’ll eventually write for bts, nct and/or other groups/artists in the future)

⇢ you can request any format, pov, character, genre, ...

⇢ ... except smut!

⇢ you can include as much detail as you like (be creative!)

⇢ Do you have something in mind? Send it in! ⇠

character asks:

⇢ with this type of ask, you can directly talk to any of my characters

⇢ make sure to include the character’s and fic’s name

⇢ please note that I intentionally leave specific plots unresolved

⇢ I think this type of ask gives you an opportunity to get to know my characters better and interact with them as well

( ⇢ feel free to use this as a ‘I wish I could’ve told him/her/them...when they/she/he did...in the story’ type thing)

⇢ Wanna talk to my characters? Send them an ask here! ⇠

astrology asks:

⇢ if you haven’t noticed yet, I’m very into astrology

⇢ astrology asks don’t work a certain way

⇢ you can request astrological compatibility with the members (please send a screenshot of your birth chart if possible)

⇢ we could talk specific aspects of astrology or certain placements

⇢ you can ask about a character’s chart (because you better bet I have charts for characters or a vague idea of them in my head as I outline my stories or approach my pantsing process)

⇢ or you can request an astrology-based piece of craft (e.g., stray kids aesthetics based on their charts, guesses for their rising signs, x as a boyfriend considering astrology, analysis of aspects in a member’s chart, ...)

⇢ the freedom we can have with this is endless and maybe I’m even going to open an astrology side-blog for this, who knows...

(⇢ I purely view astrology as a fun tool for an attempt to understand the complexity of the human psyche. In no way do I think that an astrological birth chart is an accurate representation of a person. I enjoy the mentally stimulating concept of breaking down and interpreting aspects and planetary positions. Additionally, I seek knowledge regarding the ideas behind astrology and astrology as a whole while I acknowledge its incoherence with science.)

⇢ Do you also enjoy astrology? Then, this is the link for you! ⇠

fic recs:

⇢ my fic recs can be found here

⇢ but I’m also on the hunt for fics!

⇢ you can send me any piece of skz fan fiction

⇢ the only thing I don’t want to receive are smut fics (you can send me fics with suggestive content in them when the plot doesn’t revolve around it / I can just skip the smut without missing too much, or preferably any relevant information)

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writing asks:

⇢ as you can obviously tell just by looking at my blog, I’m very passionate about writing (and by following you’d know I’m also a slow drafter, because I simply enjoy discovering new ways to write and play around with words)

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⇢ you can ask questions, submit posts or message me about anything writing related and I will be happy to engage in a conversation revolving around one of my favorite things: words

⇢ let’s learn together!

other:

⇢ you aren’t limited to the categories listed above as I’m always looking for communication and new ways to learn

⇢ with the aspects mentioned, I simply tried to give you an idea of what you can message me with

⇢ make sure to read the general info section above, as I’ve already answered many potential questions and explained general guidelines there (if you still happen to have any questions, feel free to let me know)

⇢ thanks for engaging, and have a nice day!

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anangelicday-mrwolf · 3 years

Text

Wolfsbane : Noblesse Fanfic (post-ending)

(previous chapter)

Chapter 42 – Does This Mean I Can Hope?

“G-good evening to you, sir.”

Lunark bowed to Raizel out of gut reaction, but he gave not a single sign of acknowledgment.

He merely positioned himself, reticent and elegant, bestowing shine upon the entire balcony, so tiny and unimportant, by simply staying poised.

Like a lake in silent slumber under the moonlight.

Like a crane standing upon a snowy meadow.

Those who know him well would have seen immediately that was his characteristic way of responding to someone’s greetings.

Unfortunately, Lunark’s personal history with the Noblesse was not long enough for her brain to identify such behavioral pattern of his.

“Forgive me for making myself a guest without your permission.”

Lunark spoke, feeling compelled to defend herself once more. To her greatest relief, this time Raizel yielded a visible reply.

“...Have no concern. The door of this house is always open to my family. And their guests.”

Instantly relieved, Lunark let her shoulders slouch, and her head thawed enough to dissect Raizel’s words.

‘A family, huh?’

What a heart-warming term, thought Lunark.

During the course of her personal chronicle as a warrior of wolfkind, she could not find a chance to experience what a family is like.

It has been several centuries since she parted ways with her biological parents, and she had been admiring Muzaka and thus aspiring to be a warrior since young.

She had never allowed idleness to dare constitute her life, in a fierce, almost bloody competition against fellow werewolves, ones she would have dubbed her friends or colleagues had she been part of the human world.

Naturally, her life has come to center on her identity as a warrior and the relations based on such identity.

Including, for example, the “warrior crews” and their “components” within her race.

Or the “elders” she used to share elder’s chairs with, before her departure from the Union.

And as of now, she has only her “fellow warriors” and “lord” to bring up if she is asked to name those meaningful to her.

From her past to present, she has found relations somehow distant from “a family.”

Which is why she could not stop retracing the terminology from her mind.

And she could not stop thinking about Frankenstein, who provided a family for Raizel.

‘Ugh, not again...’

Her self-reprimand was close to a lament.

The werewolf beauty’s head dropped, and Raizel’s crimson eyes flashed with intrigue as she was exhibiting the top of her head in the presence of the Noblesse.

Which did not last for long.

She presumed Raizel was not hinting any accusation for her visit.

For such reason, she could not imagine why he would confront her now, when he was mere minutes away from a snack party with his friends.

Apparently Raizel read the question from her stare; his aesthetic lips slid open.

“A bidding I have for you.”

“A bidding...?”

The situation was so sudden, out of blue, because of which Lunark could feel her logics thinning.

Raizel kept his gaze locked upon her face as he continued.

“Frankenstein, it concerns.”

Right then Lunark could feel a pregnant weight plummeting from her head to toes.

‘Frankenstein?’

Automatically and habitually, anxiety and tremor started to creep upon her entire form, causing subtle yet definitely-there wrenches in her chest.

That was when a well-known fact about nobles knocked her memories.

All nobles are gifted with mind control, and it is common for them to utilize such endowment to sketch what lies within their audiences.

‘Did he notice that I have feelings for Frankenstein...?’

Promptly following her cognitive process, a grief almost biting shook her undivided presence.

‘Is my love so unacceptable, so outrageous?’

Muzaka already lectured her to withdraw her feelings, and she could still remember how bitter she had felt.

And now she is faced with another lecture from Raizel.

Lunark minced her lips, despising herself for lingering for the sake of her stupid curiosity.

She was hit with an urge to bolt away from her spot, but she was educated enough to tell herself that there is no way she could commit such discourtesy to the Noblesse.

Instead, she steeled the dual ventricles of her heart and intentionally disconnected her mind.

She did not want to listen to whatever Raizel had in his mouth to ruthlessly drill her heart with.

To her appallment, her eardrums disregarded her stance and sharpened themselves for Raizel’s words, perhaps because they would involve Frankenstein.

“Anything do you know about Frankenstein?”

Upon hearing him, her eyes were inadvertently drawn to his countenance.

“What do you mean by that...?”

“Quite a long time has passed since Frankenstein left this place for his individual mission. Nothing have I received from him ever since, though the distance between us I deliberately maintained, in honor of his choice.”

Raizel provided no further explanation, yet Lunark could picture what his most trusted lieutenant would have appeared upon leaving his house, as bold and determined as a patriotic general about to face off against millions of invaders to his homeland.

Lunark gave her head a few waves without realizing it, and Raizel squinted his eyes in a mysterious shape as he witnessed her action.

“Frankenstein is bound to me under our contract, breathing within our spiritual essence as a mental link. Which stays in power as we speak.”

“You mean... At this very moment?”

Lunark was mystified. She knew Frankenstein and Raizel were at least miles away from each other.

She projected a link of the Noblesse is nothing like those from the lesser nobles, until he revealed that is not the case.

“Frankenstein remains in the dark regarding this – ever since I have returned, more influential and substantial our link has grown. Now distance serves as no barrier for me to feel the climate of his heart, one of small changes I have gone through since my return; natheless, as a secret I have kept so far, for I feared I would add one more to his troubles.”

Lunark briefly wondered if he could hear Frankenstein’s heart as they were conversing.

The moment she thought of such possibility, her heart tore itself from her dominance to fire a soundless scream of inquiry: Do you know by any chance how Frankenstein feels about me?

Luckily her lip muscles remained loyal to her and secured her screech within quiet.

“Howbeit, not available to me are all of infinitesimal emotions and ruminations embroidered upon his heart. The book may be his heart, but it will not open its pages and allow its lines and characters to pour into my cognition. It will simply spill some of its most predominant words only occasionally.”

So mind control is not another name for a master key, murmured Lunark in her head upon learning something new.

The topic was quite appealing, but she was still clueless why he would mention it to her out of all people.

“And to my gravest dismay, as of late the words from Frankenstein’s book were too heavy and too dark in depth and color.”

“What do you mean by that...?”

“I am afraid too shy is the reason in treating me. It is true that I am his master by our contract of blood, but it is not in my power to pick out and examine his heart whenever I please, as if picking out books from a library.”

Lunark began to squeeze her brain for a potential theory, calculating everything she knows about him as of now.

She already knew that Frankenstein is pushing himself to his limit to find out the secret of Raizel’s return, even taking tonics to force insomnia upon himself.

And it was highly likely that the darkness within Frankenstein is the result of his strain.

‘But how come I have a feeling that there is more to this than it seems?’

Raizel is utterly respectful of individual choices and decisions; nevertheless, here he was, seeking her privacy to discuss Frankenstein’s state without his knowledge. Which suggested to Lunark that Frankenstein’s emotional state is somewhere very far from healthy or normal.

“Anything do you have to provide for me about this?”

He even asked her right in her face, because of which Lunark could see how serious the situation was.

And she felt so remorseful that there was nothing she could tell him.

Or rather, she could not tell him though she had something to tell him. She did not want at all to do something Frankenstein would not be happy with.

And Raizel would note that she is hiding something on purpose; however, she could only hope for his understanding regarding her deceit.

To her gratitude, Raizel did not pose any more question or accusation, though Lunark felt something was off.

‘Why would he ask me about Frankenstein?’

Even a toddler would be able to speculate that there had been a communication or two between her and Frankenstein, in coordination of their tasks.

‘But it looks like it’s not simply because I’m his... His ally in battlefield, to say. Or did I go too far?’

Perhaps her heart was shrieking too ardently.

Or perhaps the inquisitiveness on her face was too conspicuous.

But Raizel did not hesitate to clarify.

“For a reason and cause I have yet to explore, your name would spark in my head whenever I collect Frankenstein’s heart. It has happened in the past, but recently the occasion has turned more frequent.”

“Beg your pardon...?”

“Like I said, the pieces I can collect from Frankenstein’s heart are keywords from a book he safekeeps within. In other words, the shards of his heart that would ebb and flow into my mind are what he holds priceless to himself.”

Suddenly Lunark could feel her head spinning.

Her brain cells were busily replaying what the Noblesse just disclosed, in furious skepticism of her comprehensive aptitude.

“I do not know how you would accept this, but... I suspected the tempest in his heart is somehow related to you.”

That was when with a thump Lunark’s heart resonated in an unnatural way.

Her heart was adrift in midst of chaos, glittering in a surreal color – a color she would have labeled as “hope.”

“Hey, Rai! Where are you?”

“Hurry up! It’s almost ready!”

As she was frozen, baffled by her own reaction, a boy and a girl called upon Raizel, and his head rotated towards the living room.

“I believe it is of no manners to hold you any longer. No easy decision would have been your visit, with your pathway teeming with tasks. I wish you a safe return.”

Raizel gave a solemn nod before he turned away.

Lunark was glued to her spot, before she hopped from the balcony, her a motion very clumsy for a werewolf warrior.

‘There is storm in Frankenstein’s heart... Because of me?’

Of course, concern was the first and foremost thing that gripped her heart. After all, it was about Frankenstein out of all souls.

At the same time, she could not restrain her mind from whispering: Does this mean I can hope...?

She came to find herself looking back at Frankenstein’s house, before she gritted her teeth.

‘Snap out of it, Lunark. This is not what you are here for.’

Her job was done, and it was time to leave.

Feeling how her heart grew murkier upon her every self-rebuke, Lunark was about to kick off from where she stood, when someone called upon her.

“Wait!!!”

(next chapter)

Like I mentioned at the end of the previous chapter, this chapter centers on conversation between Rai and Lunark. This is something that troubles me whenever I present Rai in a chapter: how to make Rai’s speech eloquent as expected from the Noblesse but at the same time easily readable and understandable. And his appearance has never failed to trouble me so far lol. By the way, Lunark’s parents have never been mentioned in the original webtoon, let alone featured. I didn’t want to waste the progress giving my personally invented details about them, so I just decided they parted with their daughter long time ago (though that created another question to be left unanswered for my fic). Now this fic is moving on to the highlight of the entire plot, and I will do my best to unleash everything I have built up so far. :)

#korean webcomic #korean webtoon #fanfic #noblesse #frankenstein #lunark #frankensteinxlunark #wolfsbane

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missanthropicprinciple · 4 years

Photo

personal aesthetic | cunning woman

[★ lengthy description under the cut, do not remove if you reblog, credits and more information under photos★ ]

I’ve been doing a lot of research into the cunning folk of Britain. Cunning folk, both women and men, have many names and existed (and I assume, still exist) all over Europe since the Late Medieval period. They were practitioners of folk or “low” magic, performing spells and charms. They were also more or less employed to function as fortune tellers, detectives (of a fashion), match makers, used herbal medicine, and worked against malicious forms of witchcraft. Their position in relation to Christianity and supposed Devil-worship is complex, as cunning folk were in most cases Christians themselves, yet the Church often grouped them in with Satanic witches. They were semi-literate and often of a slightly higher social position than the average laborer.

The only depiction of a cunning person that I am aware of is in the television series By the Sword Divided (1983-85) which centers on one fictional family’s experience in the English Civil Wars (1642-51). Created by producer John Hawkesworth, the show was deeply rooted in historical fact. The cunning woman of the household is Judith Crabbe, commonly known as “Minty” for her “skill in herbs.” Although she is a seemingly frail old woman, she lances boils, performs abortions, delivers babies, and is in possession of some deadly poisons. In the episode The Sound Of Drums, she instructs that a woman whose mother has just died of the plague should be stripped and washed and she herself gives the woman ragwort to “take away the poison,” and douses her head with dragonwort in order to “drive away all infection.” Although germs were not discovered until the 1850s, this fictional account implies there was knowledge of needing to cleanse and disinfect to prevent the spread of disease. In one deeply disturbing episode she is brought to trial during a brutal witch hunt, but survives. She explains that she is a cunning woman like her mother and that she knows charms and herbs and potions “all to do good.” Sadly, unlike Minty and genuine cunning folk who had actual herbal knowledge, many supposed cunning folk were profiteers, playing on the innocent and gullible common man.

In terms of my own identification with cunning folk I have spent a long time considering my connection with their practices. I decided that being a Wiccan is not for me. I have occasionally referred to myself as a witch. I am essentially a total skeptic, raised to question my half Catholic/half Church of England background, and never baptized. I am not a practicing Catholic, I prefer C of E in many ways but I have enjoyed the ritual of Catholic traditions and have found comfort in the Virgin Mary. However, if anyone asks about my faith I am certainly agnostic. I respect everyone’s religion and I stand by the fact that I personally cannot prove the existence or non-existence of a Christian God or any other Gods and Goddesses. I do not believe in or worship the Devil or any other deity. I have respect for many and find inspiration in them but that is where it ends. As a child I repeatedly tried to believe in ghosts, fairies, and God, but I am a non-believer. I do keep an open mind and often consider the presence of spirits and genius loci in terms of biological feedback, and/or other qualities of perception that humans possess that we are not yet aware of. While I am a non-believer I am a highly sensitive person and am learning to trust my own intuitive nature. I also take into account that knowledge of the human brain and body is somewhat limited; who knows what we will learn in the future.

As for practices, I conduct certain rituals similar to actual cunning folk. Divination is not something I wholly believe in, as I don’t particularly believe in magic beyond ones own powers of agency, instinct, and intentionality. I do, however work with tarot cards which have been in use since the mid-15th century. By all accounts they were based on playing cards, elements in nature, and even Christian symbolism. To me, they are tools with which to unlock ideas, knowledge, and wisdom in one’s own mind.

As far as crystals go, I do not know if they have any connection with cunning folk. The use of crystals in magic goes back thousands of years - people such as the Ancient Sumerians used them. Each gemstone or crystal is believed to have healing powers and I’m unsure if I believe in that but at the same time the symbolism of each stone is meaningful to me in the sense that it is a connection with a person’s intentionality. In general, intention is one of the most powerful aspects of a person’s journey, spiritual or otherwise. I have often employed nuummite which is an excellent and rare grounding stone. While it is unknown to me if stones have actual healing powers, just holding something that is thousands of years old is incredibly exciting and calming.

Tea is an important to me on multiple levels. I am mindful of the fact that tea was stollen by the British from India, China, and Japan and so while I am often noted for my “Britishness” when it comes to tea, I understand that it does not originate in my culture. I love Earl Grey, which is a powerful black tea most often made with Assam tea and oil of bergamot. To avoid the high levels of caffeine I usually steer towards camomile and am exploring other herbal options. Tea forms the intersection between comfort and health benefits. (Again, I am not aware that tea is in any way a part of cunning folk practices.)

Cooking is certainly a part of anyone’s life as we all have to eat, but in our current day a lot of us rely on take-out/take-away and restaurants rather than our own skills. I am lucky enough to come from a family who cooks a lot, or at least, has done in the past. My father was quite good at baking, particularly cheese scones (a WWII era family recipe), profiteroles, and quiche. His mother, from what I remember, was a great cook, making roast meals and cooking lots of vegetables for Dad and the family from the 1940s to the 1990s. My mother is a good cook as well and Dad and I noted how we were very lucky to have homemade meals most of the time, with quality meat and organic vegetables. My mom’s mother was a good cook and both her grandmothers were excellent cooks, especially great-grandmother Theresa. She cooked for her family as well as working as a cook for a wealthy local jewelry family. She specialized in traditional Swabian German and Hungarian dishes from our heritage. We still have her kitchen knife which we use regularly. I’m slowly working up to mastering my great-grandmother’s recipes, but so far I’ve only worked on some baking - popovers, sponge cake, and gluten free cookies. Next I’d like to make sticky ginger cake, focaccia, and other things like salsa and pickles. I don’t know of any explicit connection between cooking and cunning folk but food and healing go hand in hand to a certain extent and coupled with herbs and the like it seems fitting.

I’m not particularly skilled in herbs as yet but I’ve used a lot of rosemary, basil, and thyme in the last few years. My goal is to become thoroughly familiar with the use of herbs in cooking or in making any sort of mildly curative ointments in things. (However, I am a firm believer in modern medicine and science and aside from exercising great caution concocting any herbal remedies, I will always look to actual professionals if I am in need of serious medical attention.)

In conclusion, my journey to becoming a cunning woman or healing woman has no real end because as humans we never stop learning. As I study more about cunning folk, witchcraft, and herbalism I will have a better understanding of my direction and purpose.

#personal #long post #personal aesthetic #cunning woman #cunning folk

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