#anna you truly deserve better than this

[jamneuromain]

Hello,

Congrates again Sweetie, you really deserves it ❤️

I don't know how many asks we can send and I had so many ideas of combinations

I am sending two of them depending on what's inspiring you. If both of them inspire you, it's even better. 🤭

🥳😶❤️ Steve Rogers

👇🕯😈 Jake Jensen

Good luck 😘

Okay this is definitely a brain teaser

but still, I'm going to go with 🥳😶❤️ Steve Rogers, because this reminded me of an idea I once had...

Disguise

Captain America!Steve Rogers x You

Warning: A little cursing but that's all.

Summary: It's your first mission, and Captain America has told you to disguise yourself. You've followed that order to a "T".

A/N: Hiya! Sorry it took so long to get it out :( I have to say, originally I wanted to write a short drabble where Steve was teaching her a lesson, but then I wondered, why is she on this mission in the first place? and I can't control this drabble which turned into a ~2k one-shot....

"... and the last item on our agenda," Maria took a brief stop from her briefing and looked around the room like a hawk, scanning everyone with her sharp eyes until they landed on the selected few, "congratulations on our fellow analysts who have applied for the field agent assistant position and passed the final test."

With a few claps from the fellow analysts, she paused again, waiting until the claps died down before quickly gathering her thoughts and assigned a few missions to three other analyst/field agent assistant, "And Y/N, I will brief you for your next mission, please stay for a few more minutes after this meeting. The rest of you, keep up the good work. You are dismissed."

It had been an eventful six months with all of your trainings - basically starting up from the ground up, no previous experience being an agent whatsoever - but you made it till the end, even though barely passing all the bars that are required for a field agent assistant. You felt very lucky as field agent assistant only requires 60% of what full-time agents can achieve, and watching your once muscle-lacking arms and legs, now turned out to be somewhat of an amateur wrestler, half of a professional boxer, and a sprinkle of assassin (thanks to Clint for his dart training).

You felt good about yourself. Truly, good.

Maria handed you a slim brown folder with a few pages in it. Opening it with sheer curiosity, you hear Maria picking out a few important points to brief: "There is rumored to be a highly dangerous neurotoxin in the black-market with more than a dozen buyers interested. This mission would be an undercover job in Venice, where the said toxin would be sold to the highest bidder."

The first page had a few sentences of what the said toxin could do. It evaporates soon but kills just as quickly. Victim's skin turned purple in contact with this chemical, looking as if they had suffocated to death. Word on the street? It was responsible for the terrorist attack in Paris last month.

"You would be posing as Mrs. Anna Dashevsky, wife of Mr. Vlad Dashevsky, the notorious couple of wreaking havoc: the train accident in Germany, the bombing in L.A., and a few other dozen of suspected murders and attacks. We have apprehended them both from their Belarus safe house twenty-four hours ago, safe to say that your cover would not be blown since the auction is fully anonymous." Maria had her skeptical look on you, her cold voice brought chills to your spine, "Unless of course, you got made."

"No, I won't, Ma'am." You replied on instinct, knowing fully well that the danger of arms dealers and terrorists gathering in such an auction could possibly be the end of your career - and your life as well, which was why you took a glance at the page of Mr. and Mrs. Dashevsky, making a mental note of the couple's information.

"Good. I shall hope not." Maria gestured you to turn the file to the next page, "You would be working with an Avenger for this mission. Your task is to provide tactical analytic support on the ground. Locate the position of the toxin, get it out, our team would be picking you up two miles south of the venue -" She pointed to a red cross marked on the map, "which is this bridge. If you missed the rendezvous, retreat to the safehouse." Her fingers tapped the red circle on the corner of the map, "Proceed as Protocol 4-12 Agent in Distress."

You scanned over the map to remember the extraction routes, noticing that these are the only pages in the thin folder, "There's no teammate information - am I going in there as Anna alone, or ...?"

Maria shook her head lightly, "You would be greeted by your teammate once you land in Venice, and your teammate would be posing as Vlad, your husband - I noticed you've got a B+ in Russian?" Seeing that you've nodded in confidence, Maria continued, "Good. Practice your Russian, might be handy. Your flight takes off at Runway Charlie in thirty minutes, I'd suggest you head off to the equipment room right now for the gadgets."

"Yes, Ma'am." You dared not linger a second more and headed straight to the equipment room.

First mission on the ground. You could not be more excited.

Turned out, you could. When the famous Captain America greeted you once your plane had landed on a small airstrip in the outskirt of Padova. Where he was leaning by a smooth silver sedan with a fake nose and a fake moustache.

You almost did not recognise him until he spoke.

"Steve." He introduced himself briefly, extending his hand for you to shake. Didn't take much to know the only one named "Steve" existing in the Avengers team was Steve Frigging Rogers, Captain America himself, the golden boy of the States, and the man with the plan.

"Hi! I'm Anna." You put down your briefcase of trinkery, took his hand and shook with a firmer grip than you had imagined. "Well, my name isn't Anna," You smiled apologetically, "It's ..."

"I know, Y/N." He chuckled, opening the car door for you, gesturing for you to sit, "I've got the files Maria sent. We'll talk on the way."

Yeesh, such gentleman. You bit back the grin and sat in the passenger's seat, while he put the case into the backseat.

The drive from Padova to Venice took about forty minutes, during which he briefed you the latter half of the information required. You switched to one of those little boats - which Italian name you still couldn't pronounce - on entering Venice, by that time you were picking up something casual to talk about, just in case the toxin seller had eyes and ears around the potential buyers.

"First time leaving the office, huh?" He teased you lightly, rubbing small circles around your shoulder blade, pretending to be intimate as he spoke softly.

"Yeah." You murmured, clasping and un-clasping your hand due to obvious nervousness, "It's the first time, well ... ever."

"It's okay." Steve smiled warming, practically glowing kindness when he offered to soothe your nerves, "I'd say you would forget about it ..." He shrugged, "But then I would be lying. Truth is, it's always frightening for the first time, but you will be fine." Steve beamed at you, scratching his fake nose, which you thought must be some kind of silicone that created authentic skin-like appearance, "Just give it time."

Your destination was the safehouse marked on the map. After Steve tipped the boat guy generously, he made sure no one was lurking before tugging a key out of his pocket and opened the door.

Maybe it was your expression that betrayed you, because Steve read something from your looks and grinned, "You want to ask me something? Go ahead."

You're that obvious? But you decided it was best to follow orders.

"This safe house doesn't look so ... safe." You commented, "How are we supposed to defend ourselves, if it comes to ... you know," you chuckled drily, "shooting and stuff?"

Steve seemed stunned for a moment, before really taking a good look at the plain wooden floor and the almost ancient decor in the kitchen, the rusty oven, the missing cabinet door, the whole lot suggesting this place hadn't been set foot in years.

"What, this?" His brows furrowed into a knot, as if seeing completely different things.

You nervously waited for his reply.

"Oh..." Realization hit him as he slapped himself on the forehead, pressing a button below the kitchen table, "You mean ... this."

The noise of machine operating out of nowhere startled you, almost immediately sent you into a defensive position. But as the old crappy oven flipped to the other side and showed an array of guns, bullets, knives, and tasers, the dusty kitchen table pulled the planks to its side and revealed a huge tactical screen, and the fireplace tugged a secret passageway open for an escape route, your jaw fell on the floor.

"I might have told Tony about the whole disguise idea for the safe houses and uh," Steve chuckled, "He and Bruce took it way too seriously. Probably got a bit carried away too."

"One little problem, though," You raised your index finger and swiped a line along the greasy stove, making a face, "I don't think there's anything we can find here to eat ...?"

"Don't worry about that." Steve waved his hand dismissively, "We won't be here more than an hour before heading to the auction place. There's a full wardrobe and weaponry upstairs, first door on the right - but I'm sure you have already got plenty in your case - But by all means, take half an hour to adjust, rest, grab what you need, and I want us out of here by an hour. That sounds good?"

"Good. Okay. Thumbs up." You confirmed and headed upstairs with your suitcase, only to close the bedroom door and squeal into your palms.

O.M.FUCKING.GEE!

Captain America. In the living flesh!

On your first-ever mission!

Three soft knocks came through the thin wooden door.

"You alright in there?"

"I'm okay Cap - I mean, Vlad!" You called out, realizing as soon as you spoke that your voice was hoarse than usual.

"Careful there. The wardrobe door is on the left-hand side. Give me a shout if you need anything."

After that, small trotting noises, probably from the footsteps of Steve Rogers going downstairs.

Left-hand side? You eyed the dusty place curiously, poking and prodding the moldy wallpaper. You didn't see any wardrobe, other than -

Your nail bore contact with a piece of metal, from which a grey-ish camera leapt out of the wall, and nearly hit your hand.

It scanned your face, before emitting that rumbling Transformer noise again, revealing a wall full of weapons, money, and of course, clothes and wigs for disguises.

You gasped at the brand-new Magnums on the wall. You took your word back. This was the safest house in the fucking galaxy.

"Ta-da-" You walked down the stairs, "What do you think, Ca - Vlad?"

Steve had his gaze pinned on you for a moment. His expression was close to blank, which was giving you a hard time figuring out what he was thinking.

"Am I overdoing it?" You clenched the collar of your coat nervously, "Anna - I mean, I came from a Slavic root, so this is ... alright? No?"

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting the corner of his lips from the uncontrollable grin. "I would say, that this outfit is ... " He tried hard not to laugh, "It's good, great. Could use a few ... improvements, though."

You were wearing a thick fur coat and a fur hat, sunglasses too, dressing up like a polar bear rolled over in red and brown paint.

"Just because the Dashevsky's are from Slavic roots doesn't mean we have to dress up as good-ole fashioned Russian villains." Steve helped you take off the thick fur coat, smiling to himself, "We still have some time. Care to go through Disguise 101 with me?"

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#steve rogers x you #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #captain america fanfiction #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america fluff #captain america #steve rogers #jammy's 500 celebration #writing challenge

[crithaus]

Percy being 'like that' in perpetuity is so very in character and funny and I'm still not over it truly. He's a shitty little bastard to literally everyone he knows, this coming from someone who loves him dearly, he's a bratty, snooty posh dickhead to everyone and despite that he had Keyleth, Vax, Vex, Pike and god only knows the guests and NPCs crushing on him at least a little bit, yes his heart is very big and he can be so so so sweet and kind and loving to those who have earned his affections but even to Keyleth, his best friend (re: every moral argument they have ever had), and Vex his beloved wife, (re: truly god I can only remember him flat out telling her absolutely not you scrub go bother someone else when she wanted to help him build her broom's seat but I know there has to be more) he's always had the capacity to be an asshole. Capacity and will without fail or hesitation fall back on being a snooty, aloof, uptight prick. (Edit: no hang on it's time to dogpile on mommy's special little man, in one of the prestream vines he literally threatens to skin someone and make a book out of the people leather and no I don't know the context and I don't need to, there's no way it was justified, this dramatic numbskull has literally always been like this)

Percy's traumatic start was not his fault and I would say that Im on the fence about Orthax being his fault because he says himself that he thought the deal was just a dream, but he does then choose to kick off the whole briarwood arc (starting a fight in Uriel's backyard almost getting them jailed for treason, defingering that one guy, setting that house full of people on fire for a second) and then just go full supervillain for a very long little while, and that most certainly is his fault even if the influencing factors were out of his control, and he fucked up a lot. A lot. And VM, his family, forgave him. Plenty of times. Ressurected him despite the dangers and loved him through his truly worst moments and saved his humanity alongside his life. And now here he is denying Laudna that same chance (while she has altogether done far far less to deserve her death) and I am not at all surprised because he lets his fear direct all of his decisions to an alarming degree. And! Not only that but he is wildly impulsive and has a bad habit of making decisions by himself because by Taliesin's own words Percy always thinks he's the Smartest person in the Room at any given time. He lets fear rule him, he's impulsive, he thinks he knows better than or can outsmart the consequences of his actions, and he's unfortunately very good at eloquently explaining himself. A true recipe for disaster. But, he's scared under it all. Has been for a while.

He's scared of Anna, Delilah, Sylas, it might come off as anger but I'd put money on the fact that that's because he could afford to be angry or at least focus on the anger, cuz he had Orthax gassing him up making him think he actually stood a decent chance at killing them all, he had his family besides him and some decent kills under their belt, he had Anna down an arm locked away in his dungeon cell and they had Pike on their side and Sarenrae with her, but I know they scare him far more deeply than he ever wants to admit (because he doesn't like having situations be out of his control either naturally, cuz the first time that happened he was brutally tortured, orphaned, kicked out of his ancestral home and beset upon by a demon taking maaaajor advantage of him) and now that he's free with most of his soul intact, now that his whitestone is once again full to bursting with life and laughter and children (children he never thought he'd deserve), now that he's settled into the leadership role he never thought he'd be ready for, now that he's settled down into domestic life with his wife whom he loves so much she brought him back to life, he is once again letting that fear (and the certainty as always that his every idea is the only one to have) rule all of his decisions. This is so incredibly on brand for Percy I could puke, and I know he's gonna apologize to Vex for being snippy later so fine Matt, well played I suppose.

Percy might be a dick but he's also a pillar of Vox Machina, these selfish dickheads brought out the very best in that bright young man and I know that with a bit of time he'll pull his enormous head out of his ass and get down to business, righting wrongs and writing lefts in true Vox Machina fashion. He's a hero at heart, even if he is retired, he just needs a bit of time to (over)think it all over.

#critical role #vox machina #perc'ahlia #percy de rolo #he's so shitty and petty and hardheaded yes true but hes also the sweetest most gentle man ever and i love him #hes the WORST ever but then he'll make vax his little brooch or he'll title vex to shove it in syldors face and also just to make her happy #make her feel comfortable standing up to her shitty awful worse dad #hes a man of multitudes truly and tal did a phenomenal job #my meta

[prettytoxicrevolver]

Protector | Matt Martin

Four times Matt has taken care of you and the one time you repay him for it wc: 3.4k (strap in friends) this fic is dedicated to all my fellow Matt Martin lovers. the king of dilf nation deserves only the best

One 

Being friends with an entire national hockey league team definitely had it’s perks. Most of the boys on the New York Islanders team saw you as a best friend or a little sister. You tagged along to all the games, kept them entertained when they went out, was there whenever they needed you, etc. 

Matt Martin had always been a bit different to you. He was always protecting you, hanging out with you more than the others, and making your stomach twist more than any other crush you’ve had. He truly had such a hold on you that you were sometimes concerned with how much you liked him. 

“Have you heard from (y/n) recently?” Matt looks up to Noah’s imploring eyes and he tilts his head. 

It comes over him that he hadn’t heard from his best friend in a few days. At the thought he reaches for his phone, dialing your number and listening to the ring with a nervous feeling. 

“Hello?” 

“(y/n)?” 

“Hi,” you croak out, your voice scratchy from the cold that was taking over your body. 

“You sound horrible.” 

“Oh thank you that’s exactly what I wanted to hear,” you respond sarcastically. 

“I’ll be there in 10.” 

Before you can even get a sound out, the line clicks off and you’re sat waiting for Matty to show up. As promised, there’s a knock on your apartment door not longer after the phone call. You wrap your blanket around your shoulders and drag yourself towards the front door. 

Just as you’re about to open it, Matt swings open the door with his spare key in hand. You frown at the older man, his signature worry crease crinkling on his forehead at the sight of you. 

“Bed. Now,” he orders and you turn right back around, a weird twist clutching your heart. 

You climb back into bed, pulling the covers over you and letting the warmth encapsulate your body. You listen as Matty marches around your apartment doing god knows what until there’s a quiet knock on the door. 

You sit up to see him with one of your serving trays, piled on top is a mug, cough drops, medicine, soup (where did he get soup?) and a glass of water. He sets it down on your night stand, moving to sit in front of you and grabbing the mug. 

“Tea, for your throat,” he explains, carefully handing you the porcelain cup. 

You take a sip from it, humming when the contents soothe your throat. Your eyes glance over the rim of the cup to glance at Matty. 

“Since when do you know how to make tea?” you ask, setting the cup down next to you. 

“Since you always need tea whenever you’re sick,” he responds not looking at you but instead focusing on pouring out some of the cough medicine. 

You stare at him for another minute, your heart doing tricky flips and scary extra beats at the sight of the older islander. 

Matty stays with you through the night. You wake up feeling a thousand times better than the day before and you can only thank Matt for coming to your rescue. 

Two

You crash into your high top table, falling onto the seat with your best friend giggling in front of you. Your phone buzzes incessantly on the table and before you can reach to see who it is, your friend is picking it up and answering. 

“Hello?” Anna greets you with a wide grin and your mouth drops open, your slow drunken movements proving no match against her determination. 

“Uh Anna? Where is (y/n)?” 

You recognize Matt’s voice and start to make grabby hands at the phone. Your friend hands it over and you smile wide when the phone is finally pressed to your ear. 

“Matty!” 

“Hi sweetheart.” 

“Where are you? I miss you, come hang out! I haven’t seen you all day.” 

Your pout is evident even through the phone and miles apart. Matt can’t help the flip of his heart, reaching out towards you as if he could reach you over the phone. As you babble on, he flips over to find my iphone, and sees your at the bar the boys frequented after wins. 

He’s standing and grabbing his keys without a second thought. Halfway out of a apartment he realizes you’re still on the phone with him and he’s registering what you’re saying. 

“And I’m just grateful for you Matty ya know? Like I don’t know what i’d do without you.” 

“Same here honey. Can you stay there for a bit darling? I’m headed over.” 

“Marty you’re coming?! I’ll get you a drink,” you sing out and Matt smiles. 

A short car ride later, Matt is stepping inside the bar, searching for your figure. He hears you first, your adorable giggle floating over the rest of the bar goers. When he sees you, he makes a beeline straight for you, meandering up towards the high top table. 

“Hi Anna,” he greets and the more sober of the two of you turns and smiles at him. 

“(y/n)?” he asks, turning towards you. 

“Matt!!” you yell, throwing your arms around the older boys shoulders. He carefully reaches around your waist, pulling you into him and you let out a drunken laugh. 

“Anna! Matty is here,” you reach up, pinching at his cheeks and Matt swipes your hands away from his face. 

“You’re okay to take her home?” Anna asks, completely ignoring your state. 

“All good. You need help getting home?” 

“All set. Thanks Matt.” 

With that, Anna is gone and Matt’s attention is back solely on you. He tightens his hold on you, grabbing your purse and slinging it over his shoulder before gently leading you towards the front door of the bar. 

You babble the entire way to the car and on the way to Matt’s apartment and while you were a complete mess, he couldn’t stop smiling. Drunk out of your mind and the one thing you wanted was him. It did funny things to his heart. 

He practically carries you into his apartment, dropping your stuff at the front door before leading you towards his spare bedroom. He breaks from you for a moment, running off to grab some water, aspirin, gatorade, and a snack for when you undoubtedly woke up in the morning. 

“No,” you whine when Matt makes a move to leave you again. 

You’re wrapped up in the giant comforter, hands grabbing at any part of Matt you could reach. He settles down in front of you, pushing your hair back and running his fingers through the strands in a comforting motion. 

“You’re so nice Matty,” you mumble out. “You’re like a prince, no! You’re my knight in shining armor. I wish you were mine.” 

With your final proclamation, you fall asleep, shoving your face into the pillows and letting out a quiet sigh. Matt frowns down at your state, happy to have you here and safe in his presence. But, those words would mean the world to him if only you were sober. 

Three 

“Where’s (y/n)?” Matt looks up at the sound of your name, Oliver is the one to question the older hockey player. 

“She told me she was coming,” he says, his hand already drifting to his phone. 

He picks it up to see no new notifications and a nervous feeling overtakes him. He’s about to respond to wally when coach walks in and his words are swallowed. He tries to push away the nerves as he focuses on what Lane is saying and the beginning of the game. 

Matty spends the better half of the game looking around the stadium for your figure usually decked out in isles clothes. He doesn’t spot you once and his nerves continue to grow until the game is over. He ignores the questions about post game interviews and showers, changes, and packs up faster than ever before. 

When he gets to your apartment door he pauses, listening to hear silence coming from the usually noisy household. He slips his spare key into the lock and steps inside, music flowing over him as he does so. He heads straight for your room, the music getting louder which he recognizes as a Taylor Swift song you had played for him before. 

Without a second thought, Matt enters your room, only for his heart to fall to the ground and shatter upon impact. Your form is collapsed on the bed, curled in on yourself and Matt hears quiet sobs emitting from you. 

He rushes over, sitting on the bed and reaching out for you. You jump at the sudden contact of someone next to you, but when you lift your tear filled eyes and see Matt you want to cry all over again. 

“Baby,” he whispers, pulling you into his arms. Your legs splayed over his, your head landing on his chest and his grip tightens on you. 

“What happened sweetheart?” 

“Sidney,” you whisper and Matt can’t help but drop his forehead to the top of your head, sighing quietly. 

“He cheated on me Matty,” you say, lifting your head up to look at him. “He cheated and he said I’m not capable of being in a relationship with him and was so fucking mean.” 

You burst into tears all over again and Matt lifts a hand to try and wipe away your tears. A feeling of rage overcomes him, he considers driving to pittsburgh right now and kicking the crap out of the glorious Sidney Crosby. 

But then you sniffle once more, and Matt knows you need him more than anything right now. 

Four

“Come on please?” Barzy offers big brown eyes and pouty lips in your direction and you melt like everyone else does at his look. 

“Fine,” you agree and he excitedly picks you up, spinning you around before placing a kiss on your cheek. 

“Thank you thank you!” he yells when he sets you down. 

Barzy had been trying to convince you for days that you should go out to the bar with him for a couple of drinks and the potential for a new fling or boyfriend. After your last trip to the bar and secret feelings for his teammate linger, you were unsure whether or not you wanted to tag along. 

But, you loved Barzy and wanted to spend time with him. You knew you’d be fine at the bar with Mat and he reminded you that if you just say the word he would high tail the two of you out of there and back to your apartment in a heartbeat. 

You decide on your signature little black dress for all nights out like this, strappy black heels and a clutch to round it all out. Your makeup is nothing if not smoky and inviting in all the right ways and you find yourself getting excited as you wait for Mat to come pick you up. 

Even though your crush on Matt Martin was palpable and probably not going away anytime soon, you figured a night out with a potential new guy couldn’t hurt. Worst comes to worst you and Barzy leave the bar early. Best case? A new distraction for a few hours. 

“Holy shit,” Barzy greets when you meet him by the front of your apartment building. 

He takes your hand and you do a dramatic little twirl that has him looking you up and down in appreciation. 

“You look hot as fuck.” 

“Thanks I know,” you respond cheekily, earning a playful shove from the isles forward. 

“Come on, I wanna get there before it’s too crowded.” 

You’re not sure what Barzy’s definition of crowded is anymore by the time you’ve walked into the bar. It’s packed from wall to wall and there’s practically two lines of people wrapped around the bar all trying to order drinks at the same time. 

Barzy drags you to the back where a booth is filled to the brim with people. It takes you a second to recognize who everyone is but you’re quick to match names to faces and find a few isles players and their girlfriends or wives there. 

“(y/n)?” 

You whip around to find Marty standing behind you, two drinks in hand and looking more handsome than ever. He’s wearing a black tee, a black jean jacket, and loose fitting jeans to match. 

“Hey! I didn’t know you’d be here,” you lean up and press a kiss to his cheek as part of your greeting and for a second you think his cheeks flush at the gesture but the red hue is gone before you know it. 

“Enough small talk,” Barzy interrupts, taking your hand and pulling you away from Marty. 

Marty watches with jealous eyes as you and Barzy head to the dance floor, the younger isles player spinning you around before pulling you close and dancing far too intimately for Marty’s heart to handle. 

You’re grateful for Mat’s quick intervention between you and Marty because without it, you probably would have stayed glued to his side all night long and not even had the chance to explore your options. 

“Tell me something,” Barzy calls when he pulls you in close again. “How long have you had a crush on Matty?” 

You choke on your spit at his blunt question and he laughs obnoxiously in your ear before planting a shit eating grin on his face. 

“I fucking called it!” he roars out happily and you roll your eyes. 

“Is that why you invited me out?”

“I figured you needed a distraction from the fact that you’re probably never going to make a move,” Mat taunts and you shove him away from you playfully but the action has you bumping right into a stranger. 

“Shit! I’m so sorry,” you yell out to the man. 

When you look up you’re greeted by emerald green eyes and a playful smile. Blonde hair is shaved close on the sides but flops over his eyes and he peeks through the strands to offer you an appreciative once over. 

“Not a problem darling,” he draws in a slight southern accent that makes you want to hear more. 

“Mind if I steal your girl?” the stranger points the question towards Mat and he responds by holding his hands up in the air. 

“She’s not mine so have at it,” he tells him and the stranger grins wider at his response. 

“I’m Brad,” the stranger finally introduces himself as he circles an arm around your waist and pulls you close against him. 

“(y/n),” you respond. 

“Well pretty girl, may I have this dance?” 

You nod and let Brad pull you in and move you around the dance floor. He’s beyond attractive, model status at the very least but something in your heart is telling you to get away from him after one dance. You weren’t sure what it was, but something wasn’t right. 

Marty didn’t think his anger level could go higher than when some prick on the ice said some stupid chirp that dug a little too deep. He’s wrong of course, considering he’s seeing red watching you dance with a random stranger. 

That red? It burns brighter when he realizes the guy is making you uncomfortable. 

After the first dance you try to make an excuse to Brad, telling him you had to find your friends, that you had to go to the bathroom and would be back, or you wanted another drink but nothing deterred him from staying glued to your side. 

His dancing had quickly turned to grinding, running his disgusting hands all over your body and groaning in your ear when he clutched your hip in a vice grip that made your stomach turn so violently you think you might throw up. Your eyes flash wildly around the bar, praying to make contact with someone who might be able to save you from this creep but you seem to have run out of luck for the night. 

When Marty catches your terrified glance flitting around the room it takes all of his willpower not to run over and beat the man senseless. Instead, he strides towards you confidently, pulling you out of the strangers grasp and behind him.

You’re flooded with relief and safety when Marty’s arm wraps around you and securely holds you in place behind him, his towering figure only looking more menacing as he stares down Brad. 

“What the fuck man?” Brad chews out and you watch as Marty’s jaw ticks in anger. 

“I think it’s time for you to go,” Marty snaps back and Brad takes a step closer. 

“Who the fuck are you?” 

“Her boyfriend. So I suggest that if you want to keep all your teeth I would fuck off,” Marty growls out. 

Brad decides Marty probably means every word and throws you one more pissed off glance before stalking away. When Brad has successfully disappeared from view, Matt turns towards you and looks you over before pulling you close. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah,” you choke out, heart beating harder for a different reason now. “Thank you.”

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.” 

And One

You sit patiently at the end of the tunnel, waiting for Marty to come out and escort the two of you back to his place for the night. The game didn’t go the way any isles player or fan wanted and you imagine the locker room is in rough shape as you wait. 

After twenty or so more minutes, Marty stalks out, game day suit back on and scowl placed on his face. You don’t say anything to each other, Matt taking your hand and hauling you behind him as he makes his way out of the arena. You understood his bad mood and didn’t want to push him to talk until he was fully ready and willing to. 

“Martin!” you hear someone call out from behind you and the two of you look to see a hoard of reporters and fans making their way towards the two of you. 

“Fuck,” Marty hisses out. 

You’re about to ask him something but the crowd descends on you faster than you can imagine and you’re swallowed up in it. You feel reporters shoving you forcefully back into the group and you gasp as a girl elbows your side before another pushes past you again and deeper into the crowd. 

You’re starting to panic, the unfamiliar faces boring down on you, the pushing and shoving, the pain of jabbing elbows and sharp glares causing your heart to race nervously. 

“Matt?” you call out, hoping the older isles player can hear your call over everyone. 

“Get the fuck out of my way,” you hear Marty boom over the crowd and more jostling ensues as people move in on him. 

The minute the crowd tore you away from Matt he jumped into panic mode. He knew your hatred of crowds and the fact that these people so callously ripped you away from his side was eating him up. God forbid you got hurt, he would never forgive himself for putting you in that situation. 

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms are circling you and tugging your head into their chest. You feel Marty lift you up and you koala bear your body around him. He carries you through the crowd and doesn't let go until he gets you placed in the passenger seat of his car. 

You’re not sure when your tears had started to flow or even when they stopped until Marty reaches across the car and wipes a few left over from your cheeks. He doesn’t say anything, silent the whole ride to his apartment but when you finally reach his home he breaks. 

“I’m so fucking sorry princess,” Marty chokes out and you frown at his emotion. 

“It’s all my fault I should have left earlier or kept moving when the crowds came I should have gotten to you quicker I would never let anything happen to you I just…” 

Marty rambles on about how he hated what happened today and even through your protests he continues. Your eyes fall over his pain stricken features and you don’t realize what you’re doing until your lips carefully ghost over his. 

“I’m okay. As long as I have you, I’m okay,” you whisper. 

Marty closes the gap between you two, pulling you in and placing you on his lap, wrapped up in his love just where you belong. 

#matt martin x y/n #matt martin x reader #matt martin imagine #new york islanders x y/n #new york islanders fic #new york islanders x reader #new york islanders fanfic #new york islanders imagine #hockey imagine #hockey rpf #prettytoxicrevolver

[theoneandonlygothicrainbow]

Pixar Movie Reviews

I’ve watched, reviewed, rated, and ranked every Pixar film with the exception of Elemental, which I haven’t seen yet, and all of my reviews will be in this blog. The blog will go in chronological order, starting with Toy Story and ending with Lightyear.

I’m sure my interpretations will not be unanimously agreed upon, and that’s ok. These all just my opinions and I respect other opinions as long as they respect mine.

Key:

Pink: Flawless or nearly flawless

Purple: Has one main problem holding the episode back, but still excellent

Blue: Great but not mind blowing

Green: Good but not great

Orange: Above average despite its problems

Red: Pretty average for the most part

Black: Below average or bad

Toy Story

A classic staple of animation, and it’s easy to see why. While a lot of the ideas in this film are pretty dated by today’s standards, the film still proves to be pretty engaging with a lot of the humor, character arcs, and heartwarming moments. Buzz and Woody have a very entertaining dynamic and it’s refreshing to have a protagonist that’s as morally flawed as Woody is. Many are bothered by Woody’s behavior and think he’s too harsh, but honestly, I have the opposite problem. I think the main flaw with this film is the other toys. They’re not infuriating, but a lot of their actions are pretty one note, inconsistent, and dare I say harsh considering what the movie shows us regarding Woody’s character. It’s not a major issue but it does hold this film back for me. There’s also a lot of cliches in this film but again, that’s expected because these ideas were fresh at the time. It’s by no means a perfect film, but it’s definitely a must see for the history.

A Bug’s Life

This film is considered pretty mediocre in the Pixar line up, and it’s definitely one of their weaker films. That being said, I still like this film ok. I think I really like the premise for how dark it kind of is, with the ants having to pay to a higher power and fighting back for it. I also really like Dot. Very cute and sweet, even when Flick, a pretty typical protagonist, fails. Hopper is also an AMAZING villain. He’s very intimidating and brutal in such an awesome way that still fits the story. So what holds this film back? Well, the story itself is kind of hard to buy. Flick believing the circus bugs are warrior bugs is really contrived and silly, and it’s such a forced liar revealed plot line. Liar revealed plot lines are among my least favorite plot lines and this film’s use of it is atrocious. It’s really unbelievable that the town would shame Flick for lying when the bugs were being so helpful toward the town. Also, I hate Princess Anna. She’s so rude and annoying and I hate that she ends up with Flick by the end. They have no chemistry and Flick deserves better than her. It’s not a must see at all, and I don’t know if I’d say I recommend it, but if you want to see it, I think there’s some good stuff to get out of it despite it’s major problems.

Toy Story 2

This film is such a huge step up from Toy Story 1. In fact, I’d argue this was the film that really cemented the Toy Story franchise into fame. It’s honestly one of the most polished films I’ve ever seen, and probably the best sequel film I’ve ever seen as well. The humor in this film is honestly among Pixar’s best. There are a wide variety of jokes and I don’t think a single one misses. The heart behind this film is also very strong. It’s a really heartbreaking follow up about Woody’s realization and fear that he’ll eventually be replaced, and wanting to avoid that heartbreak for the interests of the other toys. Speaking of which, Jessie, Bullseye, and Pete are all very charming characters. Bullseye is adorable and I love how he acts like a dog. He often serves as someone who makes Woody truly doubt his actions. Jessie is also very interesting. Her whole story with Emily is very sad and all of her PTSD with abandonment is really sad. It’s really heartwarming to see her find family again with the rest of Andy’s toys. Pete is also a pretty good villain. I love how manipulative he is of Jessie and Woody and seeing him lash out is really intimidating. I also love Buzz and the other toys in this film. They all have a decent amount of highlight in the rescue mission and I love the role reversal they pull with Buzz trying to bring Woody to reality. The other Buzz character and Zurg are also pretty fun, even if it is a bit odd that toys didn’t suspect that he was off, but it’s not totally unbelievable. This film has so much heart and variety that I think everyone would find something they love about it.

Monsters Inc

This film is one of the most famous Pixar movies to date and it’s easy to see why. The worldbuilding is really creative and interesting. I like seeing a lot of different monsters that vary in style, personality, and ability. It’s also cool to see the film set in a factory like setting and have it be really interesting. The main characters in this film are very strong. Mike and Sully have a great dynamic and they share a lot of iconic and funny lines. This film honestly has amazing humor, definitely among Pixar’s best. Randall is a pretty menacing threat and a good representation of a coworker having a bitter rivalry for a promotion. And Waternoose is honestly the best twist villain in animation I’ve ever seen. You don’t expect it because you already have Randall as a villain, but at the same time, it makes sense that he would be so adamant about harming children with how fixated he is on keeping the company running. He’s an amazing representation of corrupt CEOs who do immoral things to keep profits coming (*cough cough* pretty relevant in this day and age *cough cough*). Boo is adorable and her bond with Sully is so charming and sweet. I also really love the romance between Mike and Celia. There are a couple of story contrivances that bother me and prevent me from calling it a perfect film (the scene where Boo escapes the door for the first time in particular has a lot of that), but this film is still a lot of fun and definitely worth quite a few watches.

Finding Nemo

This movie is considered a classic among Pixar films, and while I can’t say I love this one as much as others, I do think it’s pretty great. The underwater world is absolutely gorgeous, the overall theme about disabilities and being protective over them is really beautiful, and the adventure is really suspenseful and great character development for Marlin. I loved Dory’s character and how she helps Marlin see the fault in his actions. She has a lot of great inspirational lines that are still well used to this day. Nemo and Marlin have a pretty realistic child and parent dynamic that escalated well to the main conflict. Darla is pretty funny threat that’s realistic for the fish to be scared of. The comedic moments are hit or miss for me, but the ones that hit are very funny. Also, this is a film I blocked out from memory because a lot of the imagery scared me when I first saw it when I was younger, particularly Hank chasing Marlin and Dory and Nemo getting taken away by the divers. Even watching this now, I’m still shocked by the amount of scary imagery in this film. It’s kind of weird when coupled with some of the more juvenile (but not super obnoxious) humor. I’m also not a huge fan of the tank gang, even if they do have a lot of good jokes. I still definitely recommend this film, as I’m sure my issues with it are not very common because many rank this as one of Pixar’s best and I can see why.

The Incredibles

Wow this film is…incredible (haha funny pun). I love how it takes the concept of a family of superheroes and plays it realistically. The dialogue in this film is very natural. The interactions between each of the family members feel authentic, and it gets you invested in each of their personal hang ups. The whole idea of society banning superheroes is really interesting and it definitely helps capture the “midlife crisis” and “glory days” vibe the film is going for with Bob. I imagine a lot of older audience members will relate a lot to both Bob and Helen with their struggles about an unsatisfying job and trying to raise their kids the best they can. I also really like Violet and Dash. They aren’t as well fleshed out as the parents but they still feel like real kids who are struggling to adapt to the world around them, especially a world where superheroes are illegal and villains want to kill them. Syndrome is a really strong villain as well. I like that he’s so bitter about Mr. Incredible ignoring him and his technology and plan make him feel like a major threat. The action is well blended with the drama of the main story and is really engaging to look at. There’s also a lot of memorable side characters like Edna Mode, Frozone, Cari, Mirage, and many more. This film is just all around very sophisticated and I definitely recommend it.

Cars

This film is often considered to be mediocre in Pixar’s lineup, and yeah, that’s definitely true. The worldbuilding is easily this movie’s biggest flaw. A lot of this world just feels like “human world but everyone is a car”, and the world definitely has a couple contradictions. It leaves a lot of questions for people watching this film and it can distract from the main story. The story itself is alright though. Lightning learning to be less arrogant isn’t the most amazing arc in the world, but it’s fine for what it is. And I can appreciate some love being shown for Route 66. I don’t think the romance between him and Sally is that well developed though. The side characters are kind of a mixed bag as well. Mater is really annoying, and a lot of the other side characters are just kind of forgettable and occasionally annoying. I do like Doc and King though, as they were interesting and charming whenever they were a focus. Chick Hicks is a passable and funny villain, even if it’s odd that the physical sabotage wasn’t really prohibited mid race. The two best things in this film for me are Life is a Highway, an AMAZING song, and the ending where we see Lightning’s arc wrapped up in a pretty satisfying way. This film is definitely flawed in a lot of areas, but it does have some charming moments. Not a must see but not a must avoid either.

Ratatouille

Fun fact: before doing this Pixar marathon, I had never seen this film before. And GOD do I wish I saw this sooner because this film is beautiful. It’s among the most thematically rich films I’ve ever seen. I love how the film puts a twist on the theme of “anyone can cook.” The critic makes it known that not everyone has the capability to cook, and the film further shows this with Linguine, who was trying to be someone he wasn’t and felt the need to live up to his family member’s legacy. Instead, they make it known that a great cook can come from a wide variety of backgrounds. The ending is easily the highlight in this regard with how it brings these themes together. Easily the best ending to any Pixar film. On top of that, this film really helps you love cooking so much through the amount of passion the characters, particularly Remy, have for it. I kept feeling hungry throughout this film when I watched, which was enhanced by the beautiful animation. And the side characters in this film are also very funny along the way, with a lot of their jokes being very subtle yet still able to be picked up on. The intro definitely bored me a little bit, but considering the differences in lighting compared to the rat sewers and Paris, I’m guessing that was intentional to show how Remy hates being a rat. If so, I applaud this film for it’s very good visual storytelling, along with everything else about it. It’s a very mature film that not everyone would find engaging, but it’s definitely a very well written and thought provoking film that I urge EVERYONE to see.

WALL-E

I see so many people consider this film Pixar’s best, and after seeing it for the first time, I can definitely understand why. The first half is absolutely beautiful with the amount of wordless storytelling about WALL-E, EVE, and Earth in general. Seeing WALL-E and EVE bond is very touching and adorable, and it also provides a decent amount of slapstick humor. I love the overall environment of Earth and how desolate and ruined it is. The second half is often considered to be weaker, but I’d argue it’s just as strong as the first. While there certainly isn’t as much wordless storytelling, there is still a lot of it. We see how lazy and dependent humans have become after leaving Earth, especially in their body mass. There’s also that beautiful scene of WALL-E and EVE dancing in space, and we also see a lot of different robot characters that vary in personality and humanity, in which Otto, the villain robot, has no sense of humanity and is merely following his prior orders. And the captain’s line “I don’t want to survive, I want to live” is among my favorite lines of dialogue in anything. While this film can definitely be pretty slow at points, this film is an incredible cautionary tale about environmental issues and global problems in general. I think this film will always continue to be relevant no matter what situation humanity faces. Definitely watch this one if you haven’t already.

Up

Out of every Pixar film, this one is easily the most overrated to me. The theme about remembering the small moments with people rather than the grand ones is a great moral, but the film doesn’t have a great connective tissue to the message. All it has is the first 10 minutes (which is nice but pretty overhyped imo) and the callback to scrapbook before the climax. The whole bird adventure is technically fine but I found it pretty boring for most of it. I guess it’s meant to be a reflection of how the smaller moments (protecting the bird) are more meaningful than the larger moments (going to Paradise Falls), but I feel like there could have been a more engaging way to execute that idea. I also didn’t like most of the characters. The dogs are cute and funny, but Russell and Carl are kind of eh. They are relatable and have some good moments, but they also have a lot of irritating moments. The villain is definitely one of the better twist villains due to how early his reveal is, and I like that he’s an antithesis about desperation for adventure, but other than that he’s not very engaging or interesting. This film is pretty great in a lot of ways, but it’s definitely not top tier Pixar, nor is it a film I’m in a hurry to see again in general.

Toy Story 3

I don’t this film is quite as perfect as Toy Story 2, but it is still an absolutely fantastic entry to the Toy Story franchise. The progression about the toys moving on from Andy is a really natural and emotional progression to take. I’m sure this was an emotional film for people attached to the Toy Story characters and/or those who related to the big change that moving to college is. The denial over growing up is a very realistic feeling to have and it causes a lot of emotional weight for the toys, as they realize Andy does really care about them despite having outgrown them. The daycare setting is pretty fun and I love the variety of toys we meet this time. Barbie and Ken, Lotso, Big Baby, the monkey, the telephone, the toys at Bonnie’s house, and even some of the background toys are really memorable. And the rest of Andy’s toys get a decent amount of highlight as well. Lotso is a very effective villain who is a great foil to the other toys about moving on from their owners. The way he manipulates and takes control is especially scary. If I had any complaints, I do think it’s a bit odd the toys don’t believe Woody when he said Andy wasn’t abandoning them, and I wished Buzz had a bit more going on than being essentially mind controlled for half the time, but this film is still a lot of fun and deserves the love it gets.

Cars 2

I think it’s no surprise to say that this film is Pixar’s weakest. And it’s astonishingly bad considering their line up of films beforehand. The whole plot is very forced. The racing and spy elements don’t blend well at all and making Mater the main star is very annoying. The spies act unreasonably stupid for the plot to go anywhere and most of Mater’s jokes are very bad. The reveal behind the villain is also very confusing and makes no sense considering the context of the rest of the plot. There are also confusing world building elements that are mainly left over from the first film but they are still annoying. The whole friendship message is pretty cliche and is not a very good match with the spy plot. Lightning is also uncharacteristically sympathetic towards Mater for half of the film out of nowhere. This film does have some positives with a couple of very good jokes that land as well as some somewhat heartwarming moments from the side characters, but overall, this film feels like such a mess that didn’t need to be made at all. I recommend you skip it.

Brave

Yeah this film kind of sucks. It doesn’t really piss me off that much but it just feels very cliche, boring, and predictable. It feels more like a low tier Disney movie rather than a Pixar film. The story is very uninspiring and the characters are the most unlikable and bland out of all the Pixar movies. Merida is such a brat, which is definitely the point of the film but the execution of her arc is very sloppy that it doesn’t feel satisfying when she learns by the end. Eleanor is also very obnoxious and Merida’s little brothers are useless and don’t fit the film’s darker tone very well. The animation is also pretty poor. The lighting is unusually dark to the point where I can’t see a lot of the time. It’s unfortunate because this film starts off well with a cool mystery in the forest, and it has great music and an interesting setting. Not to mention that the archery moments are really badass and cool. But those attributes sadly just make me notice the poor story and characters more. To me, this film had a lot of potential to be very mature and artistic but it’s cliche and forced story beats make it very bland. I don’t recommend this film.

Monsters University

Out of every single Pixar film, I think this one is the most underrated. This film really adds a lot to the world building about the science behind scaring works and how doors are made. It’s really cool. Mike and Sully also have a very entertaining dynamic between the hard worker who just wasn’t meant to be a scarer and the coaster who is relying on his raw skill and family name. I like these two separate character dynamics. They are pretty realistic to many people in college. The overall mature theme of dreams sometimes not coming true is also beautiful. It’s really refreshing to see things not work out perfectly for Mike, even though he really wanted to scare. Sometimes dreams aren’t meant to be, but it doesn’t mean you can’t find happiness in other ways, like Mike eventually realizes by the end of the film. The climax is also very epic. A lot of emotional moments between Mike and Sully and both of them feel like very flawed characters who learn a lot about life through college and their mistakes. This film is a lot more mature than you would expect! The scare games plot is definitely the weakest one, as it has a lot of cliche, forgettable, and sometimes annoying moments with Oozma Kappa, who aren’t awful but they’re definitely not super interesting. I like that they included an adult in college though, as that’s rare. But the scare game plot also proves to be pretty satisfying in the success and some pretty solid jokes. Honestly, I definitely recommend you check out this film. I feel like people are sleeping on how great this is.

Inside Out

God…words can’t describe how much I adore this film. The overall concept about exploring someone’s brain is so fascinating, and the way they portray a lot of these psychological concepts is so interesting and creative. It really helps people, even those not well versed in psychology or neuroscience, understand how the brain works. The dream world being a movie studio, the unconscious being a deep cavern, the imaginations being a row of exhibits, long term memory being an infinite route (like real life!), it’s all so cool! The characters in this film are also very strong. All of the emotions are flawed yet likable characters who have their own perspectives on certain issues that surprisingly don’t come off as one note. I also like the small amount of depth and character given to Riley and her parents. They feel like realistic people who would act the way they do when certain emotions are in control or out of control. The jokes are also very funny. I like how they match with the characters and emotions of the situation as well as fit with the setting. The themes, OH MY GOD THE THEMES. The themes are written so strongly, it’s among the best writing I’ve ever seen. The message about accepting sadness and bad emotions is written in subtle ways throughout the whole film, as well as ways that are very obvious for the characters to learn and understand. It’s a very human film that can resonate with everyone. Everyone feels sadness and everyone wants to push it away, but sometimes it’s incredible necessary. This film is the only Pixar film to have ever made me cry, and it made me cry 6 TIMES. The ending in particular gets me everytime with how heavy, satisfying, and authentic it feels. This film is just…absolutely flawless and incredible. It’s not just my favorite Pixar film. It’s not just my favorite animated film. It’s my favorite film of all time.

The Good Dinosaur

Ironic to me that Pixar released my least favorite film from them after they released my favorite film. While Cars 2 is objectively worse, I would rather watch that than this because this film is one of the most boring films I’ve ever seen. There is such a lack of story for me to get invested in, and half of the time I feel like the film is trying to cover that up by showing pretty scenery. What little plot there is is pretty typical: a dinosaur wants to prove that he’s courageous and then gets lost and has to find his way home, while learning to be courageous. It’s a fine enough story but a lot of it feels dragged out and uninteresting. The theme is just so dry and boring, as well as the characters. Arlo and Spot’s relationship is very mediocre. I like the scene where they explain what happened to them with sticks, but other than that, they feel like every other buddy duo in every other film. The other characters are pretty forgettable too. I also think a lot of the scenes are pretty gruesome compared to the very minimal and kiddy story and characters. It doesn’t really mend all together that well. There’s also a lot of story contrivances, such as Arlo surviving a wave his father was killed in (and the death has NO emotion because it happens in such a stupid way). Definitely don’t watch this one. It’s not entertainingly bad like Cars 2 COULD be. It’s just boring and not a good time.

Finding Dory

This is a hot take, but honestly I like this film more than the first one. I think it does a better job at showing how disabilities don’t limit us as people and that we can still accomplish things regardless of them. I also found the newer side characters to be a lot more fun and interesting this time around. Destiny, Bailey, and Hank are a lot of fun and I like that they are further representations of disabilities. There’s a lot of respect with the subject in how they don’t really bring too much attention to the disabilities. They’re simply there and a part of them, making the lesson feel natural. I also love how they explain a lot of Dory’s attributes from the first film, such as talking to whales and reading. The aquarium is a fun location for this film with a lot of cool hijinks as Dory finds her parents, which proves to be such an emotional journey. This film is definitely very similar to the first one and Marlin is a bit harsh, but overall I thought this film was a lot of fun and an improved version of the first.

Cars 3

This film blew my expectations out of the water. Granted, my expectations were not very high, as it’s a Cars film, but I’m genuinely shocked at how good this film is. The worldbuilding issues are nowhere near as prevalent as they are in the first film, as they try to draw their focus away from that, and the overall story is a lot more interesting than the story of the first two Cars films. I think a lot of older audiences can relate to Lightning’s struggle about falling behind with a newer generation of people in whatever field of work, and trying not to let other people tell you when you’re finished. The overall focus with Doc was really sweet, and it’s really moving to see Lightning try so hard to keep racing until he realizes mid race that he’s not cut out for it. I love the final act of this film because Lightning was able to accept that he’s not qualified to race anymore and give that opportunity to Cruise, a newer racer who has a chance to prove herself, and also take Doc’s legacy of mentoring Lightning. Cruise was a hit or miss character for me and the other side characters, while nowhere near as prevalent in this film as the other films, still have their annoying moments. But Lightning’s overall journey is immensely satisfying. It really feels like this film was an apology for the first two Cars movies, and if that’s the case, I accept their apology wholeheartedly. Nowhere near a perfect film, but it’s a triumph of quality for this franchise. I honestly recommend this, especially to people who have already seen Cars 1. I think they will underestimate the amount of emotion they’ll feel while watching this miracle.

Coco

Before my Pixar marathon, Coco was my second favorite Pixar film behind Inside Out. But after watching a lot of new films and rewatching this one, this film definitely moved down in the rankings for me. That being said, it’s still absolutely fantastic. I love how rich in Mexican culture this film is, as you could not really set this film in another place without dramatically changing the entire story. The whole story itself is really cool. I like how they take the “follow your dreams” lesson and apply it to the reality of corrupt celebrities desperate for fame to the point where they leave their family and morals behind. Miguel is a pretty relatable protagonist that acts like a real kid without being super annoying. And it definitely hurts to see the family be so judgmental of music. It makes you hate them, but at the same time, sympathize with them, because you understand where they’re coming from. The whole Land of the Dead world is absolutely gorgeous and I love the worldbuilding with the skeletons and the spirits. The colors are beautiful and it makes every frame stunning. There’s definitely a lot of emotion with the beautiful song “Remember Me”, which didn’t make me cry like it did for many others, but it was definitely pretty close to making me cry. I like how they foreshadow the song being stolen with the fast version with Cruz feeling kind of out of place and unnatural. So what brings this film down? Two things. One, Dante was useless. He was really gross and was mainly there to be a nuisance, apart from knowing over the photo, which could have been changed a little. Two, Cruz is a good villain with an interesting ideaology, but his actual plan and actions are kind of stupid. He shouldn’t have made a film resembling Hector’s death. He shouldn’t have kept Hector’s photo. And I don’t really understand why Hector didn’t really mention how he wrote Remember Me and Cruz stole it from him. Hector himself is a fun character though, and his love for Coco is so sweet. It’s still an absolutely wonderful film despite a somewhat weaker villain and comic relief animal, and I definitely recommend it.

Incredibles 2

This film gets a lot of hate, but I honestly enjoyed this film quite a bit. I like how this film puts more of a focus on the Superheroes being illegal law and trying to overturn that. It’s funny to see Bob try his best with parenting, as we didn’t see too much of that in the last film. His jealousy with Helen is a little inconsistent and weird at first, but I like how it develops into an inferiority complex. I also like how they focus on how being a superhero affects Violet and her love life with Toni. Dash was pretty annoying and one note in this film though, which is kind of disappointing. The story behind Helen’s plot is really interesting and the action is very good. I also like meeting more superheroes and seeing their powers. Winston and Evelyn were pretty cool characters for most of the film. I do like how they shared the same situation but had different perspectives, one wanting to legalize heroes and one wanting to ban them. Which does bring me to the biggest problem: Evelyn as a twist villain. Her actions and ideaology don’t make too much sense in universe, as she did a lot to raise heroes up, more than what was needed. And Winston didn’t really notice the goggles at that point either which is kind of annoying. Bottom line, the story itself is not as polished and cohesive as some other Pixar films, but there’s still a lot of good stuff from this film that makes it worth at least one watch.

Toy Story 4

Easily the weakest Toy Story film. I definitely would have preferred if this film never existed in the first place, as Toy Story 3 is a much better closer for the franchise. But I will acknowledge that this film does have a decent number of quality elements. The idea of having an antithesis to the first 3 films is interesting. I like how they make Woody’s loyalty unhealthy to the point where he needs to consider other life opportunities that are better for him in the long run. It definitely challenges the ideas of the first 3 films, particularly Toy Story 2, and that’s pretty daring all things considered. There are some solid jokes and moments with Bo Peep, Gabby Gabby, and Forky that support the main conflict well. The hijinks are alright with the van, old timey shop, and the carnival, though not as fun as the ones in the other Toy Story films. Bonnie is adorable and I can buy that she doesn’t really play with Woody as much, even if Woody meant a lot to Andy. It is kind of cruel and unusual to have the parents be so neglectful of Woody though. I’d expect them to know more about the importance behind the toys, particularly Woody. Even if Bo Peep says that “kids lose toys all the time” (a very good point that definitely supports what this film was going for, toys being able to find purpose without owners). The story itself is definitely not very tightly written, as the plot meanders a lot, Buzz’s B plot is awful and annoying, and there is so little relevance to the rest of the gang that they could have been cut entirely. I also can’t stand Duck and Bunny. They were so obnoxious everytime they came on screen. Out of all the Pixar films, this one is easily the one I’m the most mixed on. There are some interesting if not controversial ideas in this film that may be emotional to some and aggravating to others. If I could describe this film in one word, it would be “challenging.” I think whether or not you want to see it depends on how attached you feel towards the other films, but I do think there is some good stuff in this one.

Onward

A lot of people really don’t like this film, which I can somewhat get, but I still thought it was a good time. I think the fantasy like world about magical creatures abandoning magic in favor of technology is a really cool idea. While this film doesn’t really focus on that idea that much, I do like how it plays into the main plot about Ian trying to assert himself and grow, as well as him realizing that Barley helped him a lot through that. The ending is easily the highlight, as we see Ian make an adamant decision that puts Barley’s happiness first. Ian and Barley have a nice and realistic brother like bond that’s definitely a huge facet of them overcoming their personal struggles. The overall magic system is neat. I like that there are specific spells that Ian needs to use and it results in a lot of really cool fight scenes and character designs. There’s definitely a lot of creativity in this film. Sadly, I think this film could have really utilized said creativity a lot more and in a lot more interesting way. There are definitely a lot of contrivances and annoying moments in this film that prevent it from being great, not to mention a lot of missed potential, but I still think it has some charm and heart to it that make it worth a watch.

Soul

This film is amazing, and while I can point to many recent films to refute the claim that Pixar has lost their touch, this film would definitely be the first one I point to. The whole idea behind the purpose of life and finding what keeps us going is beautiful, and there’s so many smaller moments that capture that idea, from 22 eating food to 22 catching the leaf. Joe is a very relatable protagonist and his love for jazz is really touching and inspiring to people who have that passion that keeps them going. The great before world is gorgeous visually and I love the way they set up the souls obtaining their erth pass. 22 and Joe have a great dynamic that develops into something very meaningful for both of them, and I like how vague they leave things by the end. The start of the movie has Joe have an idea with what he wants to do, but as he keeps talking to people about life and as he remains unsatisfied with the gig, he realizes he still needs to figure things out. This is further reflected in the title card being shown only at the end, saying that Joe’s life truly begins now. Bottom line, this film is an absolute masterpiece that shows us that Pixar still has its magic touch.

Luca

I loved this film a lot more than I thought I would. I heard from other people that it was a really slow paced and simple film and I was worried that I was going to be really bored with it. But this film is unbelievably charming in its simplicit nature that I got pretty attached to the story. I even cried at a couple points. Luca, Alberto, and Giulia are all very charming characters that have pretty simple goals that you can’t help but get attached to due to their enthusiasm. It’s really cool to see Luca explode about the world he was restricted from for so long and seeing him fall in love with a lot of stuff from it. Alberto and Luca have a beautiful friendship and they play off each other very well. I also love Giulia’s father. He’s very sweet and I like how he has an arm missing just because he was born that way. Props to body diversity! This film also handles liar reveals very well, with Alberto exposing himself rather than Luca and Giulia being more concerned with their safety than the fact that they were lying. And I also love how Alberto reflects on his jealousy over Luca’s friendship and Luca reach an understanding with him. The whole outsider message is there, even though it’s not a big part of the film, and it’s a really realistic fear many children have growing up. Main reason I don’t think this film is a 10/10 is because I don’t like the bully villain nor do I like the parent subplot of them trying to find Luca, but at the end of the day these aren’t things that will ruin the film at all. It’s still a very sweet and cozy film that many people will love.

Turning Red

This film is epic and I HEAVILY disagree with the majority of the criticism against it. The whole film really plays into the idea of growing up and becoming a person separate from your family. I like how this is reflected in Mei’s culture as well, as Chinese culture tends to be very collectivist in nature. While I am not Chinese myself, and thus cannot comment on the accuracy of representation, I really appreciate the overall aesthetic and how it adds to the story. From Mei’s mother being overbearing and her dad not so much, to Mei embracing elements of individuality outside of her culture, this film has a lot of thought. And considering how this film was directed by a Chinese woman and the feedback I’ve heard from Chinese people is pretty positive, I’m inclined to believe this movie has very strong representation. I really buy the exaggerated style because it portrays family dynamics and growing up very realistically. Mei, along with her friends, feel like very real teenagers. They have a great dynamic and memorable personalities that surprisingly never got overbearing. Their bond is very sweet with how much they care for each other. The climax is also amazing with how Mei’s friends and family team up to save the day, further shown with the combination of the mantra music and 4Town’s music during the ritual. And WOW 4Town’s music is so good. Everytime they sang the song, I was having a really fun time. I love how the lyrics are all about individuality. And I also love how a lot of the things Mei embraces are often perceived as cringe by most people. Growing up is a messy experience and teenagers are often incredibly cringy when trying to figure out who they are. But the cringe never really gets that overbearing. If anything, it really helps add to the film’s comedy, which is very strong. I was so close to giving this film a 10/10, but sadly, one thing is preventing me from doing that: Tyler. Tyler is just a really annoying prick that kind of got off way too easily, especially when he was acting racist towards Mei in a later scene. The film didn’t really need him in all honesty, and anytime he was a focus, he was really obnoxious. They definitely show human sides to him, but if they wanted to redeem him, his arc needed a heck of a lot more polish. But this film is still absolutely amazing and I highly recommend EVERYONE to see it.

Lightyear

I was really nervous about this film, as I heard a lot of people consider it among the worst of Pixar, and I felt like the film was a huge executive push ever since I saw advertisements for it. Having seen it now, it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting and I don’t think it’s Pixar's worst film. But it’s still a pretty big mixed bag that is among the weakest they’ve ever made. I think this film had a lot of really cool stuff going for it with the overall space ranger aesthetic and music. It’s very cool and it definitely makes you curious about the world the film takes place in. But sadly, the world is not fleshed out well at all. If you can buy the whole time travel space plot point, which is a bit of a hard one to buy, it’s hard to get invested in Buzz’s struggle when we don’t see a lot of the world he’s living in changing, nor do we have time to get emotionally invested in his fear. All we really have is a nightmare that’s way too short for us to get invested in. Buzz’s overall character is kind of inconsistent and bland. A lot of conflicts he faces kind of come in and out and they don’t really help his arc become satisfying in any way. The side characters in this film, with the exception of Sox, are pretty mediocre and forgettable. Their dynamics feel unoriginal and it makes it hard to get emotionally invested. And of course, I’ll address the most infamous part of this film: the Zurg reveal. Zurg is a pretty poorly written villain whose actions, ideologies, and of course, overall existence, don’t make a lot of sense in the universe they’ve made. And the dynamic between Zurg and Buzz is so lifeless and rushed that it doesn’t feel suspenseful or emotional at all. Honestly, I feel like this film had potential to be a really interesting and good spinoff from the Toy Story universe. But as it is, it’s just a mash of mediocrity.

Final Ranking

Leftmost in each tier is most preferred

#pixar movies #toy story #pixar #a bugs life #toy story 2 #Disney #disney pixar #monsters inc #finding nemo #the incredibles #cars pixar #ratatouille #wall e #up pixar #toy story 3 #cars 2 movie #brave pixar #monsters university #inside out #inside out pixar #the good dinosaur #finding dory #cars 3 (2017) #pixar coco #incredibles 2 #toy story 4 #onward pixar #soul pixar #turning red pixar #lightyear pixar

[homebody-nobody]

this is me asking about your theories about mike and anna's teen pregnancy 👀👀

OKAY SO

Through watching season three, we know that Mike and Anna are having their fifteenth anniversary party. We ALSO know that Kie is obviously over fifteen. (this could also be interpreted as the *restaurant's* 15th anniversary, but I think it's a wedding anniversary, specifically on Vibes and Vibes Alone.) With these two pieces of information, we can infer that Kiara Carrera was born *GASP* out of wedlock. We can also BACK UP this inference with a line from season two, when Kiara says 'you're afraid I'll sleep with a pogue and end up pregnant, just like you did.' (we are hoping against hope that this is not foreshadowing. Please, Pates, for the LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY do not ALSO throw teen pregnancy into this mess. I digress.)

All of this information taken together points us thusly -- Kie was an unplanned pregnancy. We also know that Mike and Anna are significantly younger than Big John and the Heywards, although we have some allusion to the fact that Luke knew Anna back in the day. (Don't get me started on my Maybank Family Meta. It's *detailed*)

In order to dive into my theory that Kie was a teen pregnancy and it influenced Mike and Anna's 'success,' we need to examine Mike's (minimal) relationship with JJ, and JJ's storyline in season three. A lot of JJ's arc in season three (and in the other seasons overall) involve a decent amount of self-deprecating humor and some supposed-to-be-funny lines that just make you Really Fucking Sad. We see the culmination of this with Mike's line 'he's just like his father' and JJ stealing Mike's money clip. (Which like, I get that it was bad and it was a symbol and shit but like. Mike deserved it.) Kiara, naturally, is furious with him for 'giving them a reason.'

Essentially, JJ is a character that was born with a nasty reputation (thanks Luke). In past seasons and ESPECIALLY in this one, we understand that JJ *believes* everything said about him. He *believes* he's a bad influence/a loser/a bad kid/and just like his dad. (heartbreaking.) Part of the very heart of all the jiara development in season three involves Kie being FURIOUS that JJ would believe all that shit, both on his behalf, and AT HIM for believing it. When he says 'I'm sorry' in 3x09, he's apologizing for stealing the money clip, but he's also apologizing for believing what Mike (and everyone else) says about him, and apologizing for letting that be the reason he was convinced they shouldn't be together.

Now, bear with me. Because I believe that Mike hates JJ with such a fury because he used to BE JJ. Except, in Mike's case, his relationship with a girl from the other side of the island only ENFORCED that belief, rather than undermining it. Mike believes that he had to work hard to get out of the cut, and resents JJ for not doing the same work -- Mike truly believes that he was once a no-good dirty-rotten petty thief, and thus believes that JJ is, too. Except, in his eyes, he 'did the work' to get out, and JJ is, well. not doing that.

This is where the teen pregnancy loops back in. Mike and Anna own a restaurant. To start a restaurant, you need investors. If it was the Cut Community that pulled together behind them to support their dream, Mike would undoubtedly retain an ENORMOUS sense of loyalty to that community, and STILL be shitting on Figure Eight to this day. But, he's not. Why, you ask? Probably because Anna's Parents were the initial investors for the Wreck. If Mike got Anna pregnant and Anna's family Had Feelings about it, Mike would have had to PROVE that he intended to provide for Anna and Kie. What better way than to start a business. Anna's parents probably invested in it in order to preserve their relationship with their daughter and parent the best way rich people know how -- by throwing money at the problem.

Thus, Mike believes that the only way out of the Cut is by bowing and scraping to those on Figure Eight, treating them with 'respect' and 'earning' their approval (money). We also have bits and pieces of Anna telling Kie that she wants Kie to have the opportunities she had, and that they had to 'work hard' to get into the island club, maintain their reputation, etc. This evidence supports the idea of Anna being a disgraced kook, and, combined with Kie's comment about 'getting pregnant with a pogue,' gives us a pretty solid reason why Anna and Mike wouldn't be automatically accepted by Figure Eight and the rest of 'Good Society.'

The 'teen' part is mostly based on the anniversary party vs. Kie's age, but is enforced by the fact that Mike and Anna are TERRIFIED of Kie running around with 'those boys' at her age -- probably because Anna did the same thing, and ended up pregnant and at the mercy of her own parents. It's also looped in by them being afraid that she's 'throwing away her future.' Projection much, babes? Anna 'threw away' her future when she got pregnant at Kie's age, and explains her absolute desperation to keep her daughter from doing the thing.

That's about as coherent as I can make it lol so I hope it makes sense!!

#answered #jjmayday #this one got away from me sorry #i have a lot of thoughts #obx meta #obx theories #long post #you're asking me about my theories? #I've waited YEARS for someone to ask me about my theories!

[lialox]

Character analysis: Kratos and Lloyd

Why give Lloyd the locket? Why send Kratos to Derris-Kharlan?

At first I thought it was weird that Kratos gives Lloyd his locket in the Kratos-route in game. Like imagine if your dad gave you the baby photos he kept in his wallet? Like wtf would a kid do with that, it’s a dad thing to keep around. That thing would would do more good for Kratos, all alone in Derris Kharlan anyways. His office being plain and having no decorations is canon. He deserves a family picture up there.

But writing and trying to understand what goes on in his head made me get it. Kratos in game has a habit of giving Lloyd literally everything. Spoiled kid. He doesn’t question the “why”, he either shows Lloyd how to get it, or gives it to Lloyd on a silver platter. He’s fuelled by immense guilt and is doing everything to make up for it.

Early on in game Lloyd voices his frustrations to Kratos more than once about not knowing anything about his parents. I think Kratos was trying to give Lloyd a memory of his family, before all the bloodshed and trauma, since Lloyd wanted to remember so badly. Parents was the topic of the day in their Flanoir scene. Their relationship was good enough at that point that Kratos was comfortable enough to allow Lloyd to acknowledge Kratos as family. Lloyd goes easy on him at the fight before Origin, because he understands how much Kratos actually cares when he sees that Kratos kept that locket with him the whole time.

In every other route, Kratos would still be sulking, and give Lloyd everything EXCEPT a memory of them as a family so that Lloyd can move on without his shitty father. Lloyd does not hold back and severely injures him with all of his pent up frustration. I’m a fan of Kratos’ character but I truly believe he is a terrible father during ToS. He’s only doing what he does to make himself feel better, it’s not really about Lloyd, it’s really about his feelings and his guilt. 

Lloyd understands people pretty well. He gets that from Dirk for sure. Maybe Anna.

So while Dirk is right that some part of Lloyd wanted to go with him, there’s an even bigger part that knows Kratos needs to work on himself. “He’s got his own things to do.”

Because if anyone else in his party were to go to a different planet to save a race, he wouldn’t let them go by themselves right? If it was Colette, or anyone else he had a high affection with he would go on that journey together. The entire plot of ToS begins because Lloyd is NOT the type of person to let the people he cares about journey alone to save people.

Does he realize this means he may never see his dad again? Absolutely.

Is there a possibility Kratos was looking for a place to die out in space? Lloyd knows this.

Why does Lloyd still send him off? Lloyd trusts him enough to understand that “there’s no meaning in dying”. Getting sent to Derris Kharlan is literally serving a lifetime sentence in solitary. Kratos needs this for himself, to ease the immense guilt that he has. If it was about Lloyd, he would have stayed and made up for lost time and done everything he can to help him in his goals. He is the only human who knows all the secrets of the world and has the most experience in leadership, diplomacy, and guiding the masses when the planet itself changes. He is the most powerful ally Lloyd will ever have in the regenerated world. The option to let Derris Kharlan complete a 100 year cycle on its own is also there since it’s not like the angels will die, nor would the lifeless beings do anything other than ordered. (What, like they’re going to die of hunger or old age with those Cruxis Crystals?) And he's forgetting that the Desians ALSO need to atone and he can't atone for them. Kratos has the option to just dump everyone there and procrastinate finding a place for the half-elves of Cruxis until the comet completes its orbit and returns to Aselia. 

But he doesn’t stay. Because it’s not about helping Lloyd.

He’s a weak man who pushes everything on his child, including the absolution of 4000 years worth of guilt and disregards how his child feels. He’s so used to lying that he’s disguised his selfishness under “I’m doing this for my son” but it’s not. He loves his kid for sure, but Kratos’ one and only motivation is guilt.

Guilt for failing to take care of Mithos as he promised Martel. Guilt for making a mess of the world. Guilt for killing Anna. Guilt for being Lloyd’s father, because that fact alone almost got him killed several times. 

He tends to make the wrong decisions because his focus isn’t actually on morality or to a certain extent, family. There’s a scene in Tales of Fandom where he tells Mithos he’s ok with Lloyd living out his days as a monster and it doesn’t matter as long as he’s alive so pretty please spare his life. Disgusting. The foundations of his actions are all about how to make himself feel better, and acting on that selfishness often times makes things worse.

TLDR; Kratos sucks. Lloyd understands Kratos better than Kratos does.

#tales of symphonia #kratos aurion #lloyd irving #character analysis #Anna needs a divorce #I hate Kratos only as much as Kratos hates himself

[theyaresogay]

wasn’t sure if i should fully trust that the fluff is here to stay, BUT YOU WERE SO NOT LYING, also i definitely believe you now when you said you prefer writing fluff. CUS THAT CHAPTER WAS THE CUTEST TEETH ROTTING FLUFF.

I still am loving all the tiny lil details you add that just contribute to how much they know eachother, Jade KNOWS her favourite food, also every thought she may have about it, and that she’ll be a lil late. Just gah the lil things made it so much better.

OH AND I SO CALLED IT THAT THE THREE FOR THREE GAME WOULD BE CUTE LATER.. also like so useful for closure, with Kit thinking sorsha made jade be her friend, so glad that was addressed.

i’m so certain i had a dumb smile at the what does love feel like “it feels like home”, nah cus you’ve built Kits character so well that her being vulnerable and talking about her feelings freely hits so much harder.

i could honeslty talk about this chapter forever, but i can’t just not talk about how considerate Jade is for taking things slow, i feel like that’s almost what makes them so perfect cus Kit is used to having all these walls up to protect herself but she doesn’t necessarily need them for Jade cus she just understands. idk but the way you write them is just so perfect imma have to say this fic is for sure my no.1 fav.

Anyways glad your concert went well, and THANKYOU.

I TOLD YOU! FLUFF IS FUN TO WRITE! (sure, sometimes angst is, but teeth rotting sugary stuff is the best)

The little tiny details! I mean, they're bound to know a whole lot of crap about each other considering that they've been best friends for a million years. I love adding tiny things like that though, it really does make it feel more real.

Anna and Kit made it up and have a!ways been cute together, and I thought, you know, who's the other really cute couple? Jade and Kit. So naturally, they get to be cute with it. :)

They both really need closure about Sorsha and she's gonna get an earful, don't worry.

SEE!!! I TOLD YOU! The angst sucks, but it's got a massive point. The main reason for it in this story is that Kit wouldn't believe a lot of the things Jade said if she hadn't been through it, wouldn't believe she deserves it. But now she does!!! I'm glad it hit hard, it was supposed to, so I'm glad I accomplished that.

I love all of the comments! Ranting about Willow is amazingly fun!

Jade is very aware if the fact that it's basically lesbian culture to move too fast, and Kit's been through too much shit for her to not make sure that she doesn't hurt her. She wants Kit a lot more than she thinks they're ready for, so she's trying to make sure that neither of them get overwhelmed because they both have a lot of trauma that has not been dealt with. All of the open honestly with Jade! Kit really does trust Jade with her life at this point, but who wouldn't?

OH MY GOSH NUMBER ONE FAVORITE?!?!?!?! DUDE, YOU ARE SO KIND!!!!! YOU'RE AMAZING, AND REALLY COOL, AND SUPER NICE, AND I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH!!!!! (ngl i'm kind of freaking out rn 😂. Imagine me dancing around my house with a really stupid goofy looking grin, and you'll get the picture)

Oh my gosh, thank YOU! You always give such kind words and it makes my day every time. Truly wouldn't be doing this without you reading. Super fucking happy you're enjoying this!

#willow 2022 #jade claymore #kit tanthalos #fanficition #comments that make my heart stop of happiness

[selfindulgentpoorlywritten]

Here is my fic for @tippedbykreider for @antoineroussel ‘s 2k22 winter fic exchange! I’m sorry for the delay getting it finished and posted, things were a little crazy for a little while. I started one fic, realized I wouldn’t have time to finish it, started another fic, got scared you may not like the kinks, started a third fic, finally finished! I’m going to give this another read through later to make sure I didn’t miss any typos or anything, but please let me know if you find any!

Rating: T

Pairing: Jamie Oleksiak/reader

Words: 6552

Warnings: heavy COVID mentions

Summary: Jamie has awful taste in women.

Knowing Jamie has been one of the biggest joys of your life. It has also been one of the most frustrating experiences you’ve endured.

For all that he is the sweetest, kindest, funniest, and all-around best person you’ve ever met, he also has horrible taste in women. The first time he’d dated someone shitty, you’d assumed it was a fluke. It was early on in your friendship, and you figured it was an outlier. You’ve learned over the years that it was not.

The first woman, Chelsea, had dated Jamie for about two months. She was a generally okay person, just not a great significant other. You didn’t get to know too much about their relationship, since your friendship with Jamie was so new, but you’d heard enough to know that she wasn’t exactly the attentive, affectionate partner that Jamie deserved. They went on about three dates over those two months, and from what you’d heard, she spent most of that time on her phone. There was nothing wrong with her, per se, she just wasn’t a good fit.

The second woman, Anna, was a bit more… unhinged. She was nice enough most of the time, but her moods were notoriously mercurial. More than once, you were witness to her shouting at him out of nowhere before storming off. You’d been friends with him for about nine months at that point, and the two of you had gotten close enough that the behavior made your blood boil. Luckily, he didn’t stay with her for long.

The third was actually a great person, which surprised you. About a year into your friendship, Jamie had met Blair at a bar and they hit it off. She was exceptionally kind, and loved to laugh. It seemed like a much better relationship, and you’d been sad when they broke up. Despite meshing so well at the beginning, they apparently just didn’t have enough in common to sustain the relationship. You’re still friends with her to this day, and grab lunch together on occasion.

As far above average as that match had been, the next had been much, much lower. Maddie was the type that gave you a bad feeling from the beginning, no matter how much she smiled and laughed. Whenever you were around, she kept her face steeled in a tight-lipped smile, staying glued to Jamie’s side. You’d known him for a couple years by that point, and he was firmly your best friend. For being so big and intimidating, Jamie’s a softy at heart. The first time he came to your place at 1am and cried into your shoulder, you’d decided Maddie was your enemy.

Jamie always came up with an excuse to stay with her, so all you could do was support him and wait for him to come to his senses. When he showed up in the middle of the night, scratch marks up and down his arms, you’d nearly driven to her house to tear her face off. Of course, he’d brushed it off as “not a big deal”, but it only took a month and a half for him to finally leave. Three-quarters of a year wasted on her.

Luckily, he’d taken a break from dating after that. He’d been traded to Pittsburgh shorty after, and politely allowed you to hide your tears when you hugged goodbye at the airport. The move had ended up being good for him, both personally and professionally. The Penguins’ coaching staff truly helped him improve, and he played better than he ever had. His dating break gave him time to repair some of his busted self-esteem, and you watched from a distance as he became the same Jamie you’d known before. The same Jamie you’d fallen in love with.

Because that’s part of the problem, isn’t it? It’s not just that Jamie has questionable taste, it’s that you’ve been standing right next to him for years, arms open, and he’s never noticed. At first, you’d hoped it was just because he was oblivious to your feelings, but you’d eventually had to accept that there was no way he could’ve possibly not realized, and he’s just not interested. It hurt, and it still does sometimes, but you’re more than grateful to be his best friend anyway.

When he got traded back to the Stars, he’d once again politely ignored your tears when you picked him up from the airport. Being shuffled around like that had been a bit of a blow to his self-esteem, but he’d done alright. It didn’t hurt that they’d made it to the playoffs the next year, either.

You’d been prepared for the rush of the post-season, but then the pandemic happened, and everything stopped.

The two of you spent months trapped together in your little one-bedroom apartment. He probably could’ve gone home before everything completely shut down, but had decided to stay with you. He’d asked so simply one night, his casual tone too intentional to be genuine, and you’d been helpless to say no. Not that you were opposed to spending uninterrupted time with him, but you knew he’d end up missing his family.

Working at the hospital made you an essential worker, so you didn’t get a break to learn to bake bread like everyone else. You got extra shifts, and more responsibility, and new protocols. You complained the least about all the extra PPE needed to deal with the COVID patients, so you got assigned to as many of them as the Charge Nurse could justify. It was hell, but your light at the end of the tunnel was knowing Jamie would be there when you got home.

He played house husband the whole time, taking such good care of you that you couldn’t help but fall more in love with him than you’d thought possible. The two of you had been sharing your bed the entire time, but having his big body curled around you, shielding you every night, meant more and more as time went on.

The playoffs got rescheduled, the team both eager and full of dread. Your bed was too big, too cold, for months. At the end of September, he had the perfect opportunity to return home after their loss. Instead, he came to mope at your apartment, a barnacle stuck to your side whenever you weren’t at work. He went back to Toronto eventually, and you got used to being alone again.

While he was home for an extended off-season, he met Rebecca. Being so far away meant that you didn’t get to meet her face-to-face, but she’d appeared in some of your video chats with Jamie. Her appearances steadily increased over time, until you couldn’t talk to Jamie without her by his side. When they’d broken up, he’d just shrugged as he told you the reason.

“She said it was you or her,” he’d said, “So of course I picked you.”

The way he said it stuck in the back of your mind after that: of course. Of course he’d picked you. Like it was easy. Like any other option was ridiculous. He chose you.

A month or two before the expansion draft, Jamie got quieter, and you knew. He wasn’t coming back to you.

You were excited for him, really. He had the chance to be the inaugural class of a new franchise, the face of a team. He wouldn’t be stuck in the Dallas heat, this comparatively lackluster city. He’d get new opportunities and find new happiness. And yet the small, selfish part of you wanted to lock him in your apartment and never let him go.

There’s no teary airport goodbye this time, Jamie heading straight to Seattle from Toronto. The second the schedule was released, he’d called to set up a date for you to visit during a homestand. You found a week in January and booked your plane ticket immediately. Just in time for you to visit, he found another girl.

Meeting Nathalie gave you much the same feeling as meeting Maddie had– as upbeat and nice as she appeared, a heavy feeling settled in your gut anyway. The plan for your first day in town had initially been to laze around Jamie’s apartment and watch bad movies. Mostly, that’s what you do. But Nathalie had apparently been insistent that she meet you, so the three of you had done lunch together. Much of it was spent listening to her chatter about how proud she was of Jamie, and how cool it was that he was a face of the Kraken, and how great the view from his apartment was.

Unfortunately, a lot more of your trip was spent with her around than you’d anticipated. If you and Jamie went to a meal, she was there, talking about an outing they’d gone on recently. If you and Jamie stayed in to play video games together, she popped by, showing off some nice gift Jamie had gotten her. When you went to one of Jamie’s games, she was in the seat next to you, babbling about how nice the WAG section is. You hadn’t even been seated in that section, wanting to be up against the glass to see the game better. Yet, she seemed to feel the need to rub it in your face at every turn, how many nice things Jamie did for or gave her.

By the end of the trip, you were almost as glad to be away from her as you were sad to leave Jamie. That may be an exaggeration, considering how it broke your heart to leave him, but it was certainly a relief to not have to listen to her anymore.

You and Jamie had texted on a nearly daily basis for years, and had started scheduling a weekly facetime session when he moved. After your trip, it felt like Nathalie had to chime in during every call to show you some new present Jamie had gifted her. Luckily, she didn’t sit around for the entire call every time, like Rebecca had.

You’d never seen Jamie buy someone so much stuff, or take them on so many dates. He’s a generous, thoughtful guy, but this seemed excessive.

As the second half of the season dragged on, you spent more and more time comforting Jamie about the team’s struggles. They weren’t playing well, obviously, and Jamie missed the easy chemistry he’d had with Miro and the Stars. You continued to assure him that it would come, that it had to be expected that their first season would be rough, that he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Even the media had begun to change, the team focusing less on him and more on other players like Tanev. It wasn’t like Jamie to care about something like that, and yet it had him feeling useless. You weren’t convinced that it didn’t have something to do with Nathalie’s obsession with his notoriety.

The breakup hadn’t come as a surprise. Jamie had told you a couple weeks before, quietly under his breath, that he thought she was going to leave him. You’d done your best to reassure him about it, but you both knew he was right.

What surprised you was how badly he took it. It was clear that he was attached to her, of course he was, but her departure put him in a downward spiral. You’d figured the pressure and shame of a failed season contributed to it, but that clearly wasn’t all. It was only when he’d broken down with you on the phone one night that you got it: he thinks he’s not made for love. Bad relationship after bad relationship had warped something in his brain, made him think that there was something inherently wrong with him, that this kept happening.

There had been a lot of emotions crashing around in you that night. You hadn’t let him see them, had focused on comforting him. But laying in bed that night, staring at the ceiling, you couldn’t help but feel it all. The sadness that Jamie could feel that way about himself. The anger that so many women had hurt him. The heartbreak of knowing that you love him, could love him in the way he so desperately wants, and he doesn’t want you to.

The off-season has been fairly standard. Jamie went home for a few weeks to commiserate with his family and cheer himself up, then did a little jet-setting around to see his friends. He talked to you all throughout, but your favorite was when he sent you pictures of him and the Finnish Mafia in Helsinki. Roope had driven down from Tampere so Jamie could see them all at once and they were all cheesing for the camera in front of the Suomalinna, arms around each other. It was the biggest smile you’d seen on Jamie’s face in months.

It was the first time since he was on the Penguins that he’d needed to schedule a trip to see you. Usually he would just come back to Dallas a little early before the season to spend time with you, but that wouldn’t work anymore. Instead, you find a week in August that you can get time off of work, and he buys his ticket before you even hang up the phone.

You pick him up from the airport with the A/C blasting, trying to stave off the Texas heat. Judging by the way he’s wiping his forehead immediately after stepping out of the doors, he’s lost his heat tolerance from being spoiled in Seattle and Toronto. You rush over to give him the biggest hug you can manage, lifting him off the ground just the littlest bit. He clutches your back and laughs, kissing the top of your head a couple times. You slide his bag into the back seat for him, letting him escape into the passenger side. He used to put up a fight about you handling his bags for him, but has long since given up. Your parents had taught you it was polite to help someone with their bags, and you were nothing if not polite.

The drive back to your place is filled with lighthearted chatter about the weather and all the sights you pass that he hasn’t seen in a while. He points out a little burger joint the two of you used to go to, insisting you have to eat there before he leaves. Honestly, you’d do whatever he wanted. You’re just glad to have him back by your side.

When he goes on roadies, he never unpacks, knowing he’s going to be leaving wherever he is in a day, max. In contrast, he unzips his suitcase as soon as he makes it into your room, already knowing which drawers will be half-empty for him. He’d taken almost all of his things when he moved to Seattle, but you hadn’t had the heart to fill the spaces they left with anything else.

Your plans for his visit are nebulous, mostly ideas one of you threw out here or there. You knew he’d been too jetlagged to do anything the first day, so you made sure to stock up on snacks and schedule a delivery from his favorite Thai place for dinner. The first thing you do is take a nap, which is nice, because you worked late last night and then were too excited to sleep much.

Having a one-bedroom keeps you from having most people stay over, unless they’re fine with sleeping on the couch, but you never worry about that with Jamie. From the first time he’d stayed too late and you’d steered him away from the couch and into your bed, the two of you shared your bed whenever he was here. It was never awkward, even on the occasions when you wake up to Jamie’s morning wood pressing into your back or hip. You just know each other too well to let things like that bother you.

You haven’t gotten the privilege of waking up with his arms around you in a long while, and you luxuriate in the feeling for as long as you can after waking up. His breathing is soft and steady across the top of your head, the skin of his neck soft where your face is buried in it. The alarm going off couldn’t be less welcome.

After a good stretch and some emphatic yawning, the two of you venture into the kitchen to gather up snacks for the movie you’re going to watch. Something new and obscure has come out on Netflix, so you’re excited to see if it sucks or not. You settle in against the arm of the couch, spreading your legs so that Jamie can lie himself between them. His head rests on your chest, his legs dangling over the other side of the couch. People always ask you why the end table on that side is so far away, and this is the exact reason. You can only tolerate Jamie accidentally kicking the lamp off of it so many times.

The movie sucks, as it turns out, but in the good way that has you laughing and making snarky comments. You maneuver yourself out from under Jamie when the doorbell rings, gratefully accepting the food and tipping the delivery person. Jamie perks up at the sight of the restaurant’s logo and it makes you smile.

You sit cross-legged in front of the coffee table to eat, putting on one of your comfort shows so that you don’t have to watch too closely. After all this time, Jamie knows well enough that small talk grates on your nerves, so he’s open and honest and raw when he opens up about his fears for the upcoming season. You listen quietly, nudging his leg with your knee when he finishes.

“You know I’ll still love you even if you never win again for the rest of your career, right?” you ask, offering a gentle smile. Jamie ducks his head bashfully, bumping your shoulders together.

“I know,” he replies, able to smile a bit on his own, now, “I love you too.” No matter how many times he’s said it to you, hearing those three words still puts a fluttering in your chest. It’s clear that he means it in a friendly way, the same way you tell all your other friends that you love them, but your heart doesn’t seem to know the difference.

You talk about your own problems at work as you finish eating, before trying to lighten the mood as you clean up the empty containers. He tells you about his time back home, all of the antics he and Penny pulled. His love for his family always astounds you.

You sit tucked up underneath Jamie’s arm, leaning against the headboard as the two of you scroll on your phones before bed. It’s not a good habit, with the blue light and whatever, but these quiet moments with Jamie are worth far more than an extra half hour of sleep.

You wake the next morning to Jamie propped up on one elbow, looking down at you with a small smile on his face. It makes your heart skip a beat, before flowers take root and bloom there. It’s not the first time you’ve caught him doing this, but in the past couple years, he’s stopped looking away and pretending it didn’t happen as soon as you wake up.

When you’re alone, you usually skip breakfast, but you know Jamie can’t do that. You sit at the counter as he cooks, allowing yourself to indulge the urge to watch the muscles in his back flex with his movements. He’s not a fan of clothes in general, and you’ve never complained about him roaming your apartment in nothing but shorts. He joins you at the counter to eat, the two of you discussing plans for the day. Pavs is in town, so you hit him up to see if he wants to do lunch, an invitation he quickly accepts. There’s a cool immersive Van Gogh exhibit you’ve been meaning to visit, which Jamie easily agrees to. Then you’ll do dinner at the burger place, then come home for some video game time.

As you get ready for lunch, you have a hard time picking an outfit. You don’t want to be too hot, but you also want to look cute. You putter around from the dresser to the closet and back a few times before Jamie shakes his head at you. He ducks into the closet, emerging with a blue sundress covered in sunflowers.

“‘Cause Van Gogh, yeah?” he says, offering it to you, “Plus it’s my favorite.” The Van Gogh reason would’ve been enough for you, but you’re definitely wearing it if it’s Jamie’s favorite. Despite your indecision, you still manage to arrive to the restaurant on time. Pavs and Sarah are already there and seated, so you join them out on the patio under the big white canopy. Pavs gives both Jamie and you huge bear hugs, and you give Sarah a good squeeze too. As much as you have more opportunities to see them, you’ve been slacking on keeping in touch with the Stars crew.

Lunch goes off without a hitch, the four of you catching up on everything you’ve missed while apart. Nathan starts seventh grade in a few weeks, which he is apparently not thrilled about. Sarah has a new side project restoring antique furniture, and you insist she has to teach you all about it. Joe is already gearing up for the season, and teases Jamie a little about it.

The Van Gogh exhibit is actually really cool, huge rooms filled with projections of his work. The soundtrack is perfect, changing to match each piece. A few times you turn to Jamie, only to find him looking at you rather than the art. You’re admiring the way the colors bathe his skin just as much, so you don’t think about it.

The exhibit doesn’t take as long as you expected, so you spend a little time driving around with the windows down, enjoying a more temperate summer day. The wind ruffles Jamie’s hair, making it glint gold in the sunshine. He’s doing the little wave motion with his hand as you speed down the highway, singing along to the radio loudly and off-key. It may be your favorite sound.

When it’s finally time for dinner, you circle back to University Park. The restaurant is small, but has that cozy family-owned feel to it. There are impressionistic paintings in warm tones on the stucco walls, the booths and seats the same red vinyl they’d been last time you came. The checkerboard floor is slightly sticky under your shoes when you step up to the counter, which should be gross but is oddly comforting instead. You ring the bell once, smiling as a portly man with a grey mustache and a bald spot emerges from the kitchen.

“Y/N, Jamie!” he calls with excitement, “Where have you been?” It’s been over a year since you’ve come here, so it’s surprising that Angelo even remembers you. No matter how much the both of you had come over the years, the restaurant industry moves quickly, and you hadn’t expected him to recognize you. He pulls you into a quick hug over the counter, tugging Jamie down for one afterward.

You catch up a little, asking about Angelo’s sons and the restaurant as he puts in your order. His son Mateo is in college now, going to UT for computer science, so you’re surprised to see him peek out of the kitchen. He smiles when he sees you, coming around the corner fully to pull you two into hugs just as his father had. 

After a little more chit-chat with the two, Mateo returns to the kitchen to make your order, and Angelo shoos you to the side so he can take the order of the couple that comes through the door. You and Jamie talk amongst yourselves, remarking on how tall Mateo has gotten. He must have gotten the height genes from his mother’s side of the family, but you remember when he was a scrawny preteen mopping the floors, barely tall enough to kiss your cheek on his tip-toes. His father had embarrassed him to hell and back one time by telling you that Mateo had a crush on you, but it was cute.

Once given your food, you retreat to a booth in the back corner, the same one you’ve always sat at. The food is even better than you remember; maybe Mateo should be going to culinary school instead. There are a few new fish in the tank next to your table, and you point them out to Jamie so you can figure out names for them. Generations of fish have been named by the two of you, here.

The restaurant stays open late, so you’re not worried about taking your time. You’ve closed the place down before, but you’ve definitely got some time tonight. Besides, there are a couple small groups still sitting, so it’s not like you’re the only ones.

Angelo always plays the music a little louder than other places you’ve been, probably because he has a hard time hearing it. When a song you love comes on, your conversation stops, and Jamie nudges your foot with his own.

“You wanna?” he asks, not needing to elaborate. It certainly won’t be the first time you’ve danced together here, and hopefully it won’t be the last. It’s one of the things that had endeared Angelo to you, years ago. You stand, taking a step forward so you can offer Jamie your hand. He takes it happily, bouncing out of his seat to join you. You catch some of the patrons giving you a look out of the corner of your eye, but you’re not particularly concerned about them. Spending a lot of time around someone Jamie’s size will get you used to odd looks, and it’s actually made you much less self conscious than you used to be.

With one of your hands clasped in his and your other on his hip, you start swaying him a little. He smiles, squeezing your shoulder with the hand settled there. He always lets you lead, a master at following whatever crazy move you try on a whim. The song is so upbeat that swaying just won’t cut it, so you start dancing for real, swinging him around. You bounce on the balls of your feet, leading him around in circles and abstract shapes, pushing him away to pull him closer, jumping as you twirl him so that you can get your joined hands over his ducked head. You’re careful of the decorations and tables, even as you fling Jamie out by one hand, only to spin him back into your chest.

You’re singing along, the words coming easily from where they’re ingrained in your mind. Though you’d never admit it, you’re genuinely singing them to him. This song has always made you think of him, from the lyrics to the way the music makes your heart thump. During the bridge, you do the little move where you roll your balled fists around each other in a circle, leaning forward and back toward him in time with the beat. He mimics you after a moment, alternating his leaning so that he’s doing the opposite of you.

When the chorus kicks back in, you grab his hand and start flinging him around again, jumping and sliding and somehow avoiding stepping on each others’ feet. Suddenly, he stills you by pulling you into his chest, holding you tightly as he stares down at you. He cups your face in one hand, smiling as he sings.

“I know you’ve heard it from those other boys,” his eyes are unbearably soft as he gazes into your soul, “But this time it’s real, it’s something that I feel.” Time stops around you, everything fading out until all that remains are the points where he’s touching you. Everything about him is soft and sweet, from his eyes to his smile to his hand gentle against your face. Just as suddenly, he pushes you away to swing you in a circle, twirling you and leading the rest of the dance. It’s a good thing he does, because you’re not sure you could muster up the brainpower to lead right now.

When the song ends, Jamie dips you on the very last word. He holds you there for a moment before pulling you back up. A table of four college students claps and hoots, Angelo joining from his place behind the counter. One of the other two tables just smiles at the two of you before returning to their meal. The only response you hear from the last table is one of them saying “how come you never do anything like that”.

Jamie returns to the table like nothing happened, gathering your bag and the trash while you try to gather your brain from the floor. Saying goodbye to Angelo and Mateo is enough to break you out of your stupor, and you think you manage to seem mostly normal. The smirk Mateo shoots you just before you turn for the door makes it clear that you weren’t completely normal, though.

Jamie spends the car ride home on his phone, tapping out messages. He seems a little flustered about whatever he’s saying, so you leave him to it. Probably better than straight out asking him what the fuck that was.

By time you get home, it’s late enough that you decide to skip the video games and go straight to bed. All through getting ready, your mind refuses to stop thinking about it. You replay the moment in your head over and over in the shower, dissect every minute facet of his facial expression as you put on pajamas. As you sit in bed, staring blankly at your phone, you can’t shake the way his palm on your cheek had felt.

Jamie falls asleep before you do, head resting on your chest as you absently pet his hair. You feel insane. It’s not like the two of you haven’t been flirty before, but something feels so different about it, this time. When he sings, he’s usually belting out something awful in the car. But he’d kept his voice so low, like he was singing just to you, like he was whispering you a secret. And his eyes– you’ve only seen him look at you like that a few times before, but you’d always had to catch him in the act. He’d never let you see on purpose.

After a few hours of trying unsuccessfully to sleep, you give up. You work your way out from under Jamie, making as little disturbance as you can as you roll out of bed and leave the room. It meant nothing, and you know it meant nothing, because it always means nothing with Jamie. You’ve completely built your lives around each other by this point, but he’s never given you reason to believe that it’s anything more than being best friends. And you’re fine with that! It’s totally okay! It’s better than okay! But sometimes he does things like this, and that last little bit of space between you feels like a yawning chasm in your chest.

You’re not sure what to do since you can’t sleep, so you just sit on the couch and fuck around on your phone. You send your next best friend a long explanation of the event, followed by an even longer rant about it. She works overnights, so it doesn’t take her long to respond. She can’t call you at work, so you shoot messages back and forth about this, wanting to cry a little more every time she tries to convince you that this means more than it does.

When the overhead light flicks on, you nearly jump out of your skin. You whip your head around to find Jamie sauntering into the room like he hadn’t just scared the life out of you. It’s silent as he makes his way over, settling on the opposite end of the couch. He crosses his legs under himself, leaning his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. He seems honest in his curiosity, worry tinging the edges of his expression. You lock your phone and put it face-down in your lap, hunkering further down into the blanket around you. Obviously you can’t tell him what’s really going on, but you’re also having trouble thinking of an adequate cover.

“Just couldn’t sleep, I guess,” you shrug. It’s weak, but you’re hoping he’ll let it drop. He doesn’t.

“Something’s wrong,” he says, knowing you too well to miss it. You pull the blanket up to your chin, wishing you could pull it over your head and hide until this all went away. The absence of any denial only proves him right.

“Hey,” he says, reaching out to softly grab your ankle through the blanket, “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.” You don’t want to, but it would be even more suspicious to hide something from him. You tell him everything, and he tells you everything, and resisting that would set off alarm bells in your head too. You’ve gotta come up with something quick. Maybe something about work?

“What was that earlier?” you blurt out, “At the restaurant.” Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. If your brain was a separate physical person, you would fight it. Jamie just looks confused.

“What do you mean?” he asks. Part of you wants to come up with something, anything else, to drop the subject entirely. A slightly bigger part of you knows that it’s too late for that, and kind of wants to know what he’ll say.

“When we were dancing, you–” you pause, trying to figure out how to phrase what you’re asking, “You grabbed my face and sang to me. You’ve never done that.” It’s true, he hasn’t. There are implications to you asking this, probably, but what’s said is said. It’s better than asking something even stupider, not that you could think of something stupider.

“Oh, that,” he says, huffing a laugh and leaning back a little to rub the back of his neck, “Yeah, I don’t know why I did that.” That’s not what you were expecting. You’re not sure what you were expecting, but it wasn’t “I don’t know”. There’s disappointment inside of you, and a little anger at the fact that he could do something like this so nonchalantly, as if it wouldn’t tear you apart. He can’t really be blamed, though, because you’ve never told him how you feel.

“Oh,” you reply, staying in your blanket cocoon, “Okay.” You’re still miserable about it, possibly even more now. With the question unasked, there was the chance that there were some type of feelings behind the action, no matter how slim. Now, with an answer that dismisses the entire affair, you know it was just another nothing.

He doesn’t say anything, and neither do you. You can tell he’s looking at you, but your gaze is stubbornly fixed on the small pieces of fuzz you’re picking off of the blanket. The tone of your last statement is unusual for you, and he’s probably trying to figure out why you’re upset. As obviously as in love with him as you’ve been for a long time, he’s always been too oblivious to pick up on it, and you don’t expect him to this time, either. Yet, your brain is still running through a thousand thoughts a second trying to figure out how to respond if he accuses you of it.

“I lied,” he says finally. That gets your eyes to shoot up to him. He lied? About what?

“I do know why I did that,” he continues, squaring his shoulders like a soldier preparing for battle. Something about his tone makes it seem more like he’s a man walking to the gallows. You wait for him to finish the thought, fingers frozen around the fuzz you’d been in the process of tearing off. His face does a few interesting things that you can’t quite decipher, before he meets your gaze again.

“I did it because I’m in love with you, and I’m too scared to tell you,” he says. For the second time tonight, everything stops. Both of you are stock still, not even breathing, as if any tiny disturbance would have everything crashing down. Something breaks the spell for him, but you’re still stuck.

“And I totally understand that you don’t feel the same way!” he says, the words coming out in a rush, nerves clear in every syllable, “But sometimes you do something and I have a hard time not telling you, and we were dancing, and you looked so beautiful, and…” He trails off, swallowing hard. You may be having a stroke.

There’s no way this is real, right? You fell asleep texting Ella and this is a dream. Because there’s no way that Jamie is sitting here, telling you that he’s in love with you. Despite all your fantasizing, you’ve always known that he’d never reciprocate your feelings, and yet. Yet here he is, telling you the exact thing you’ve yearned to hear for years.

Whether your brain wants to believe or process it, your body has begun to react as if it’s real. Your cheeks are heating, your chest tight, butterflies spawning in your stomach. Jamie just said he loves you. Jamie just said he’s in love with you.

“You don’t have to say anything, but I’d really like it if we could stay friends,” he says after a long silence, wringing his hands, “Please tell me we can stay friends.” The fact that Jamie is the one who’s so nervous about this is wild. The fact that he could think that you would ever, in a million years, reject him, is ridiculous.

“I don’t want to stay friends,” you finally manage to get words out. You should have picked better words. The crestfallen look that overtakes Jamie’s face is heartbreaking, and he’s already stammering for something to say. You emerge from your cocoon, leaning forward to take his hands in your own.

“I don’t want to stay friends,” you repeat, adding, “Because I’m in love with you too.” The 180 that his face does is so incredibly endearing that you’re overcome with affection for him. His smile is wide and toothy, his eyes bright.

“I’d rather us date, instead,” you say, aiming for smug but missing the mark by a mile with the way elation is filling your voice. Jamie laughs once, joyous and disbelieving. He squeezes your hands hard, shaking them a little. It’s good that you get to have this moment, because your heart is about to burst and kill you. You’re going to keel over from happiness.

“We should do that,” Jamie agrees, his tongue darting out across his bottom lip quickly, “Can I kiss you now?” And how could you say no to that?

“You should do that,” you reply.

#jamie oleksiak imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #andis coping mechanism

[finleycannotdraw]

yes syanna deserves punishment but her stupid sister won't punish her. We know this from the dialogue with Dandelion in the ending where Dandelion visits Geralt. No one denies that syanna suffered a lot and undeservedly but she absolutely does not deserve to be forgiven for the crimes. and this is what happens in the 'good ending' syanna had psychopathic tendencies even before she was diagnosed with the curse. For those who choose Yennefer because of books, Syanna's death should be canonical. syanna is Renfri created for the dlc. What did Geralt with Renfri? Butchered her in the middle of Blaviken. He should do the same with syanna. She is my most hated character from the entire witcher universe. Dettlaff is not completely good character but psycho sisters are not better than him. the perfect ending for me would be with both sisters dead and alive Dettlaff. But I only had with syanna dying. Dett deserve a second chance just like Regis in the books

Okay, so, you’re making the issue black and white when it clearly isn’t. Syanna and Dettlaff were both hurt and made bad decisions, and I think Dettlaff deserves more sympathy than he’s given by the game and the fandom, but you’re arguing that.. Syanna is just the villain, straight up, full stop? Yes, what she did was inexcusable. But one of the main ideas in the witcher is that there is no lesser evil, it’s just people and their choices! That was the whole point of Renfri’s story!

Your comparison to Renfri disregards and disrespects the point of the character and the message of her death. Yes, Geralt kills her, but it was based on a decision at a moment’s notice and he regrets it later. He carries her brooch with him for over two decades! He was prompted to choose the lesser evil, but truly, it was just different evils. He did what he thought was best with the information he had! We all do this, every day! This happens with Syanna as well, because yes, they are parallel characters. One difference is that Syanna had power over Dettlaff, but Renfri never had power over Stregobor. Dettlaff and Stregobor are not parallels the same way Syanna and Renfri were written to be.

You said, “syanna had psychopathic tendencies even before she was diagnosed with the curse”. She wasn’t diagnosed with anything! She was born, and the time of her birth made everyone think that she was a monster. That’s not her fault! What are the “psychopathic tendencies” you’re talking about? Lack of caring about others? First of all, that’s insensitive, and second of all, she’s an insecurely attached rich princess who was thrown out of her home for reasons she had no control over. She doesn’t know how to be a person. That’s why I think she deserves to live and learn.

Also, what’s the point of bringing up Yennefer???

Same with Anna Henrietta! Why do you think she deserves to die? According to story canon, she’s a beloved leader! Toussaint is prosperous under her leadership! Yes, her priorities are skewed, and she should see that Syanna is punished, but she’s blinded by the fact that her sister is alive! Anarietta was not only one of the reasons for Syanna’s banishment, she was also hurt by the way their parents treated her! Her reaction to learning that Syanna is alive is completely reasonable, and wanting to protect her is too. At this rate I think the issue is yours and not the game’s.

You’re allowed to hate her. I’m not saying you shouldn’t. But none of this is broken up neatly into right/wrong, black/white, good/evil the way you seem to believe. Come back when you understand that people (and all stories about and portrayals thereof) are more complicated than that.

#I didnt even talk about how regis influenced my decision #anyway. I’m not here for the negativity. i think they all deserve better. i probably won’t answer any more anons with this sort of message #dettlaff #dettlaff van der eretein #syanna #sylvia anna #the witcher #the witcher games #The witcher 3 #tw3 #the witcher wild hunt #blood and wine

[cpd-55055]

i would like to hear your honest opinion do you think that since a few seasons (seasons 8, 9 and 10 1/2) PD has become boring in terms of story and writing and in general?

Short Answer: Definitely! They have lost their creativity and intensity. In the past seasons, every episode brought us to the edge of our seats. But now, both the cases are boring, and the personal stuff is getting repetitive.

Long Answer:

You probably didn't ask for a rant, but I'm giving it to you anyways. Sorry in Advance! 😊

To be honest, S8, as a whole, wasn't that bad. The Upstead stuff was amazing. Kim's story with Makayla was really sweet and meaningful for the character. I liked Kevin's storyline at the beginning and how the Doyle shooting was wrapped up. But I didn't like how every Kevin episode was about the blue wall and his race. Vanessa's sudden disappearance is something that still bothers me, but I guess we have to blame COVID for that. The cases were interesting and intense at the same time. And although it was a character-centric format, I really think the balance between personal and case was good. And let's not forget the epic finale they had. In my opinion, the best finale PD has ever done.

For S9, you have to evaluate it as two parts, 9a, and 9b. 9a was really good. The continuation of the Roy storylines was perfect, and the end, even though it felt a little anticlimactic with North's character, was a decent wrap to the storyline. The Upstead angst was worth it. The flow was starting to become choppy, but since the content was so good, I ignored it.

9b, on the other hand, was just a disappointment. Anna was introduced in 9a, and I still don't understand why they couldn't wait till 9b. Her character was so confusing. I liked her sassiness and her boldness, but her relationship with both Voight and Jay was all over the place. I also don't understand what the whole point was of having Jay create "a deal" with Voight in 9x09 if he never actually followed through with it. I liked the whole Kim fighting for Makayla during the adoption, but everything after that felt pointless. Like they needed something to give Burzek a storyline. There was no reason to kidnap and traumatize a young girl who was already previously traumatized. Instead of showing Makayla recovering from her kidnapping, they should have taken those episodes to focus more on Kim and her trauma after losing her baby one season and then being shot and left to die the next. Don't get me started on Kevin and his "relationship" with Celeste. I actually thought Celeste and Kevin had great chemistry and potential, but they literally ruined it in the first episode they introduced Celeste. Kevin deserved better than that. Anna's storyline had way too much focus than it needed. It just dragged on for too long, and the finale was just sad. There was no intensity or drama. Compared to its previous finale, this one was boring. Still bitter that we never got Will and Hailey scenes in 9x13 and never got worried Jay in 9x22. Why spend so much money and time on an explosion if there is no drama afterward.

S10 so far... let's see. The Anna stuff of 10x01 felt weird. We never really saw Voight move on from Anna's death. It just felt incomplete. And somehow, all this mess led to Jay crossing lines and deciding to leave 3 episodes later. The biggest disappointment of this season is how Jay was written out. He deserved better than being given 3 episodes to exit. It was rushed, sudden, and truly unnecessary. I'm glad that Hailey is getting a lot of screentime, but I'm not glad that all her screentime is sad Hailey on repeat. The acting is superb, but come on, stop finding more ways to make her sad. I'm not gonna dig into Burzek's situation, and how I feel about that. All I'll say is I just hope they stay like this. Torres is an interesting character, and I like his partnership with Kevin, but I do wish that they did a Torres episode before Jay's departure. Jay was the one that brought Torres to the unit; it would have been nice to see Jay help Torres fit in and slowly shift to Torres and Kevin. And I feel like it's a season too late to bring up Kim's trauma. My guess is they're gonna use this to bring Kim and Adam together, but why didn't they do it last season. I guess the only good that that's come out of S10 so far is how quiet Voight's character is. He has truly been in the background, even during the Sean/Chief stuff.

I think the big difference for me is that during S8, I was actually interested in every character's episodes. But now, I could care less what happens to everyone else. All I care about is Hailey and hoping that there is a happy ending for Upstead.

#chicago pd #hank voight #hailey upton #jay halstead #kim burgess #adam ruzek #kevin atwater #dante torres

[thesinglesjukebox]

MEGAN THEE STALLION - "HISS"

We have now arrived at our last song of the month. We will not be covering any other songs this month. See you in March!

[7.73]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: As a lifelong Barb, it saddens me to see Nicki enter a paranoid, truly despicable frenzy. The only upside? We get songs like this.  [9]

Anna Suiter: Megan might have created a brand new season! [9]

Nortey Dowuona: Megan said one line and ended Nicki's career in one fell swoop, rendered Cardi B irrelevant for another year, and notched another hit. I expect you all to be at the next tour. And be there early! [10]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: It's a category error to think of this as a diss track – it's more a supernova-level airing of grievances, as comprehensive of a litany of disdain as I've heard in rap. It loses something in listenability as it goes on -- Lil Ju & Bankroll's beat feeling a little like an endurance test as it grinds you down -- but maintains its fundamental appeal no matter how many times you loop it. Megan's charisma, both as an instrument of inward love and outward spite, shines true. [7]

Will Adams: It's not a tour de force, it's a tour de ferocious: Megan's near non-stop onslaught is a marvel to listen to, no matter the beat's plainness or the mid-point spoken word bit that trips up the momentum. [7]

Thomas Inskeep: Is any rapper right now better than Megan when she's on one? Based on "HISS," maybe not. Also, she doesn't get the credit she deserves for her little vocal tics, her "ah!"s and "ha!"s, which are nearly as good as Michael Jackson's. [7]

Ian Mathers: Delightful throughout, but I must admit I giggle like a small child every time I get to "when I'm in the gym I think about bitches that I'm shitting on." [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: The energy is undeniable, but the moment when the beat drops and she talks only dampens the mood. Ultimately, this isn't a song I care for, but I appreciate that it makes me want to root for her. [5]

Katherine St. Asaph: The fury and virtuosity are both undeniable, even if I'm not really sure whether I like this or just support it. [7]

Leah Isobel: It is very satisfying to hear Megan in firebreather mode, especially since it's so well-deserved; she's gotten a raw fucking deal over the past couple of years, and if anyone has the right to let off some steam by shit-talking everyone else, it's her. She has the technical ability and linguistic smarts to back up her aggression, too. But as satisfying as it is to see her skill and subtlety send one of her adversaries into a week-long tailspin, there's also something a little disheartening about the spectacle. "Cobra" pushed at the edges of her art, trying to articulate her real struggles within the frame of her party-starter persona, and did an admirable job of inverting her usual performance of sexuality and strength into vulnerability and entrapment. By contrast, "HISS" feels boxed in, not just by the constraints of her public image but by the constraints that the perception of her public image places on her actual selfhood. When she raps, "Say he fucked Megan, and now he the topic / These n***** thinking they lowered the value / All this free promo, I'm turning a profit," the video shows her nude with her hands tied behind her back: her body, constricted, defenseless, and presumed to be available just because it is visible. That's the real anger that animates "HISS": anger that her humanity is not and will never be enough, because of what other people think about her body. But people don't want to hear that, so instead, we get beef. Yum. [7]

Taylor Alatorre: "Um. Miss... Thee Stallion, ma'am? I'm... not entirely sure if you have a full and accurate understanding of all the processes that factor into the monetization of social media clicks and page views, as well as certain other key elements of the modern attention economy. If you would like to register for my quick-and-easy 6-week course, you could soon be earning a-- oh. I see. My bad. I-- I'll just be going, then." [9]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#megan thee stallion #music #rap #hip-hop #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

[adrianasunderworld]

I'm gonna include this in Twisted Princess AU. I wonder how the princesses feel about Crowley and Clara having this romantic vibes. Snow White will likely be happy to see Crowley being with someone while most of the girls find it weird that someone wanted to be with Crowley.

Snow White: Awwww...I'm happy to see him being with someone. I'll support it.

Meg: That crow better keep his word to be with her or I swear I will roast him down once he end up someone else.

Anna: This guy better not used her and if that ever happened, I'll punch him out from the boat.

Merida: The headmistress shouldn't rely on others especially a pathetic principal.

Belle: He better not be full of himself or there is chance he will fell from the cliff for being delusional.

Ace: I get you have bad history towards men and with Headmage Crowley but isn't that too harsh. Not all men are jerks you know.

Alice: Have you forgotten what you did to your ex?

Ace: Hey, at least I learn my lesson and decided to just focus in friends than relationship. You don't see me trying to hit any of you unlike with the hopeless romantics.

Guys who have crushes on the princesses: What!?

Clara: Girls, while I appreciate your concern, everything is fine. None of that is going to happen, and even if things don't work out, I am perfectly capable of handling my relationship.

Anna: We all thought that, and yet the worst still happened.

Meg: Besides, you really can do so much better. I mean Crowley? You don't deserve to settle you know.

Crowley: Why does everyone say that to her!?

Merida: Because she can.

Crowley: 🥲

--

But yeah, Snow is the only one that's happy at the prospect of Crowley finding love, especially with someone like Clara. Snow is a romantic like that. But all the other princesses do not approve of this. They all like Clara significantly more than they like Crowley and every time the headmistress comes up in conversation, they give him a hard time. They truly do not get what she sees in him.

#twisted wonderland #miss yuu #twst oc #twisted princess au #dire crowely #clara cristaleria #the white ash intitute

[pixiedustperspectives12]

#6 Frozen 2

You're probably all wondering why I chose Frozen 2 over the original movie. Well you'll find out during my review.

I wanna start by saying this movie has a much better plot than the original. It included both characters equally, I believe in the first movie it targeted Anna more than it did Elsa when they both deserved equal attention. This movie was also way more emotional than the other movie it had me crying tears of joy and sadness at the same time which is a quality I find important in a movie. The original movie also made Elsa look like the villain for the most of the movie when she didn't deserve that at all, she was in a position none of us could understand. One aspect I did enjoy more in the first movie was the love between sisters, I have two older sisters and seeing this sister love makes me think of my sisters and how happy I am that we're all very close and share this love for one another. Now that I addressed why the first movie wasn't my favrouite let's talk about why the second one is my favrouite.

First things first Anna and Elsa both looked AMAZING in this movie, the editors did a great job with their appearance. Both sisters look so much older and more mature than the first movie. I loved this small detail since it showed us that they both grew since the first movie and have more knowledge on how to work together. I love that they changed their outfits completely and didn't reuse the original ones, this proves to me they put effort into this movie.

In this movie I have two favorite songs that I can't pick in between the first song is, into the unknown. The vocals in this song are amazing there is no doubt if you disagree you're wrong, simple as that. Idina Menzel who voices Elsa did amazing she hits a whole ton of high notes perfectly, I was genuinely in shock the first time I heard this song the vocals were just amazing. The vocals in this song are WAY better than the vocals in, let it go, she truly outdid herself with this song. Another thing I loved about this song is how much we find out about the past of the kingdom, in most Diseny songs there is a story however in this one it was so clear and easy to follow even without the visualls I understand what is going on and i just enjoy the fact that the stroy was so clear.

The next song I love is Lost in the Woods. This was the first time we truly saw Kristoff's emotions, I never really knew what was going on in his head but after listening to this song it made everything more clear. This song made me see him as more of a main character than a secondary character, it definitely gave him more of a personality. Jonathan Groff killed this song, his voice was so smooth and the words just rolled off his tongue, I remember obsessing over this song for at least 3 months. I downloaded this song while walking out of the movie theater and played it on repeat for the next 2 weeks, there wasn't a day that passed without me listening to it for a very long time. I remember being in grade 10 math class and listening to this song everyday with my friend Sasha.

This scene right here where Olaf dies broke me, I didn't recover for a few days. Olaf is my favorite character he makes me think of my dad with his personality and jokes so watching him die had me bawling my eyes out. I don't think he deserved his death so i'm happy he came back at the end of the movie, if he hadn't this definitely wouldn't be in my top 10. He is such a lovable character so if he didn't end up coming back I would never forgive Disney. During his death I just wanted to walk out of the theater it was unacceptable.

I can't really think of any negatives about this movie, it's just not the first movie I would pick to watch when i'm bored. I love this movie so much I just wouldn't be able to watch it every week like I could my number 1, I feel like I would get tired of the movie if I watched it to much, which is way I won't watch it to often but when I do, god I love it. For those reasons I rate this movie 6 out of 10 of my favorite Disney movies.

#1 movie hint: Christina Aguilera sang one song in this movie and it said it launched her career.

#disney #frozen

[acrossthewavesoftime]

Turnsgiving Day 4: What If?

I'm a tad late for this one, but hear me out: What if Turn had, in at least one story arc, decided to use a little more historicity?

The series, to phrase it just as pretentiously as John Graves Simcoe quoting Catullus, I hate, and I love. Why I do so, you ask? Because while the topic itself is compelling and I was happy to see a piece of media set in the 1770s, nothing in TURN, which as a piece of fiction only drawing loose inspiration from historical events sadly was marketed as decidedly more faithful to history than it actually was.

I see the necessity of simplifying, abbreviating, and leaving out simplifying events in order to built a drama series around history, but i wish we had gotten to see some more actual interpretations of historic events rather than being forced to follow the less than stellar, and in my eyes rather unsympathetic, main character manoeuvre himself into another sticky situation.

Another aspect that really irked me were the unsatisfying ends the female characters were given: from Abigail to Anna to Mary, they all deserved better.

Now, I am not a script writer, but

What if Mary Woodhull had decided to leave Abe for Henry Clinton?

Mary Woodhull, about to leave a life of misery and cabbage-farming for good, print, colourised, c. 1780.

This sounds absolutely weird, I know, but please hear me out:

I really liked Clinton on Turn, despire his portrayal not having much in common with the man whose name he bears as a very openly homosexual, sociable person. The historical Clinton was the exact opposite of both these things, but it was refreshing to see a sympathetic portrayal of one of the British generals in an American TV show, and I have to say that I find his character deserved better than what paltry screentime he got, and I would have enjoyed to see more him! But alas...

Now historically, Clinton fell in love with a woman called Mary (Baddeley) while in America, a lady with a less than stellar husband who started out as his housekeeper, and ended up as his partner for life. By the time they embarked upon a relationship, Mary Baddeley, the daughter of a genteel family, had a son by a largely absent, cheating husband (whom Clinton took to regarding as his own) solely responsible for the family's social decline and strained finances. If that doesn't sound familiar...

In a marriage of my desire for more Clinton-screentime and a satisfying ending for Mary Woodhull, I could picture Mary being pressured by Abe to interview for the vacant position of housekeeper in General Clinton's household, and getting the job. What begins as a means for Abe to gain information on British military secrets slowly melts into a bashful romance between Sir Henry and Mary. In time, she decides to cease any spying for her husband as she does not wish to deceive the man who treats her with respect and warmth, which naturally causes friction between the couple.

Over time, things get a little more serious; Mary discovers that Clinton is secretly delighted by the presence of her son Thomas in his house, whom he treats affectionately, and rather sooner than later, there is a first kiss.

Mary, religious and aware what rumours of an alleged dalliance with her employer might do to her reputation, decides that, whatever her wishes, cannot allow herself to indulge the idea of a serious relationship, or even just a short dalliance with Clinton-- that is until she, visiting home, catches Abe cheating on her with Anna Strong.

Feeling that there is no way to salvage the marriage neither party had ever truly wanted, Abe having been in love with Anna Strong and she having been originally promised to Abe's late older brother, and tired of being the only one to ever put work into the relationship, bids farewell to her husband for good and returns to New York announcing that she is done with Abe, and her marriage.

In time, Mary follows Clinton back to England where she lives happily ever after in a London townhouse with Clinton, Thomas and the latter's new half-siblings.

If you want to read about the real Mary Baddeley and Henry Clinton, I have previously written a long post about them!

#turnsgiving2022 #turn amc #turn washington's spies #mary woodhull #abe woodhull #thomas woodhull #henry clinton #18th century

[amiramorozova]

Best Friends to Eternal Lovers - Wedding

Amira's pov: 

Aleks comforted me and I was glad that for once I'd won against Baghra knowing this was not going to be easy. The fete was still going on but I didn't want to go back and seemed he didn't either as he kissed me. Kissing him back as I knew we were soulmates and that was the part that Baghra seemed to not understand. 

When Aleksander pulled away he put a hand on my cheek as he knew the hardships we had to go through to get here...four hundred years of finding each other and losing each other..it was undeniably a hard time for the two of us and now I just wanted our life. "We should have ran.." I said as I knew we'd talked about it..tears fell from my eyes of all the pain inside I'd ignored. Aleks looked at me as he kept his hand on my cheek and wiped my tears away. "I wouldn't be as strong as I am now to protect you..to give you the life you deserve Amira. You are stronger than once were back then.. We'd have always been on the run..moving place to place. Never truly being ourselves." Aleksander said

I knew he was right but that didn't change how I felt as he smiled kissing my forehead as he calmed me down. "But things would be different..the fold would have never become a thing..and Grisha.." I stopped knowing Grisha would not be as important as they are now. "Grisha have a better purpose now than they did back then, but you..you would not have had to gone to extreme lengths i-" he cut me off with a kiss surprising me knowing that it was clear on one thing as I kissed him back. 

Aleks pulled away as he looked into my eyes, his dark ones pulling me in like a distraction that I wanted. "You did not need to be there..You could have been killed. Things would not have changed and we have to keep moving forward. Focus on the importance of the wedding." He said as I smiled. I knew the truth of the fact that he'd lost the girl, his healer that day but he was always meant to reunite with me as I nod. 

For the next two months we were finishing up plans, the king had become involved to give us the ballroom to have for the wedding though it was a small private affair but 2nd army was not small in any way so it worked. Last we decided on was the cake which we'd tried and I was glad that we could all agree..

So you can imagine the night before I hardly slept, this day I'd wanted for so long had finally come the next morning. All the things I needed was in the room and we'd agreed to have the youngest Prince and Anna there as Aleks insisted with the King having Nikolai under his care. I didn't mind, the two seemed to be getting along fine. Sometime I fell asleep that in the morning I got myself ready.

Everything in me wanted to run out and see him, hug him but this was our wedding day. I heard a knock on my door and I walked to it but stopped sensing his shadows. "Aleks.." I said as he must have been struggling too. "Four hundred years...that's how long we've waited for this day..and soon it'll be official." Aleksander said as I knew he was right and smiled. "Just a little longer..my love." I said 

When he walked away I smiled and soon it was time, my dad walked me down the aisle and my family was present. Since my colors were kept secret it didn't matter what I was as people gasped at me. "my she does look beautiful." One of the guests said as I was grisha but I looked the part of the bride. 

Making it to Aleks my dad let him have my hand as we both smiled a little before looking at the priest who married us. We changed one of the lines from till death do us part to live our lives together as long as we both shall live. The priest looked at me first "Amira Silina, do you take General Kirigan as your husband?" He asked as I smiled "I do" I said as I would always. When he turned to Aleks before he asked Aleksander answered. "I do." He said as we exchanged rings and the priest announced us as husband and wife as we kissed. 

At the little after party the king set up the wedding cake was shown and we were to feed each other cake which we did. Only we did with forks as we didn't want to ruin what the other was wearing. I loved it and then I noticed Baghra in the crowd despite everything and the horror and bad she'd put me through the fact she came amazed me. 

it's official...I'm Amira Morozova now..to the people here Amira Kirigan. I thought but either way I was happy about it 

TagList: @lifeisingrey​,  @houseoftoomanyfandoms​, @mizelophsun11​, @budugu​ ,   @wheresthesunshinesblog  0

#Grishaverse #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone #fanfic #original story #aleksander morozova #Amira Silina #Amira Silina x Aleksander Morozova #shadow summoner #sunsummoner #tidemaker #dual summoner #darkling #the darkling #Team Darkling #darkling x reader #darkling x oc #Best Friends to Eternal Lovers

[pb-dot]

Why do I never rewatch Last Night In Soho?

Edgar Wright's Last Night In Soho is a strange movie for me. I enjoy a lot of the things it does, the otherworldly sleaze of the lighting, talented actors playing smart characters trying to figure out a mystery, truly jaw-dropping in-camera tricks to portray the impossible, and a saucy twist. It's the kind of movie I'd watch time and time again but somehow, I just can't make myself do it. More musings and Last Night in Soho spoilers under the cut.

Part of it, I suspect, is that Thomasin McKenzie is just too damn good at her job as the protagonist Eloise. She's instantly likable and does the naive enthusiasm of the young and ambitious with such intensity that I find myself entirely unwilling to, as it were, "put her through" the entire cavalcade of fear, humiliation, and doubt of her own sanity that is to follow by actually watching it play out.

It's odd because usually I watch horror movies for that specific niche. I love seeing characters going through fear, pain, and adversity and emerging stronger on the other side. The ghosties, ghoulies, and assorted monsters help to make the scenario sufficiently fictional-feeling, granted, but I get a similar rise from "man against nature/elements"-movies such as Fall.

It could easily be because the main source of horror actually is not the ghosts nor the time-traveling body swapping that lands Eloise in the increasingly unenviable nights of Anna Taylor-Joys fallen starlet Sandie, but rather how incredibly grim the lives of the two women get as the story churns along. Sandie finds herself forced into steadily more degrading sex work, and there are no ghosts or curses in play. The world has just historically been shitty to women, and although Eloise doesn't suffer from the same, she is still belittled, frequently harassed, and gaslit by her supernatural connection and the martial world both.

What really gets to me, I think, is that in the end, Eloise learns that her assumption that Sandie eventually got murdered was faulty and that she instead murdered her pimp boyfriend and several former clients, if not assaulters is the right term here. Not to go all #girlboss here, but frankly, who could blame Sandie? I'm not saying the girl deserves a medal, but surely Sandie is not a villain for this?

It is somewhat ambiguous whether the movie agrees with my take at all, seeing as Eloise's landlady, secretly an older Sandie all along, drugs Eloise and plans to kill her to ensure her crimes stay hidden. It's not an unrealistic reaction to learn your 60's crime spree has been discovered, granted, but it also makes the climax a bit of a bummer.

Eloise and Sandie are in such a powerful position to understand each other at this point. Sandie has been young, beautiful, and hopeful in a hostile city, and Eloise has literally been Sandie. I don't know what sort of peaceful compromise can be reached in this situation but attempted murder and accidental arson seems like a worst-case scenario. The movie to its credit seems to agree that this is a tragic one, but I'll argue that it's not a good tragedy if it isn't inevitable.

The movie does end on a happy note, but it doesn't quite fit, mostly because it didn't seem entirely connected with the rest of the story thematically. It's great that Eloise is doing better, of course, I could watch that girl succeed all day, but it hasn't really been the type of experience she has been having. She has withstood the world revealing itself to be a colder, eviler place than she thought, but she has reached no meaningful synthesis between this fact and her natural optimism. Things just working out for her right now, despite experiencing a small lifetime's worth of trauma and indignities. I guess it's nice if you can get it, but it doesn't feel true to me.

I don't really like to nitpick movies like this, especially movies that I like the vast majority of, but the ending in Last Night In Soho doesn't work for me, and it's probably because of this I haven't gotten around to rewatching it. I feel like there's a version of the movie, at least of the script, out there that I could really enjoy, and that's ever so slightly maddening.

#last night in soho #movies #horror movie #Edgar Wright #Thomazin McKensie #Anna Taylor Joy #gripes #mental health #cw sex work