#anti-tween romance | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

popculturebuffet · 4 years

Text

Hickman’s X-Men One Year In: Part 2: The Dawn of X

And we’re onto part 2. Since it took me a while to talk about Hickman’s Series outside of Giant-Size and the setup here, that’s in part one if your curious, I split this little retrospective into two parts, with this part here talking about the rest of the books. This isn’t to say they aren’t great, many of them are, it was just easier to do this as a two parter so with HIckman himself out of the way how did his hand picked batch of talented writers handle the lofty status quo he set up?Find out under the cut. Pax Krakoa baby.

Mauraders Okay just to get this out of the way this is my second faviorite x-book running, after X-Men itself and it often equals it and far and away the best tile of the run and restored my faith in Gerry Duggan. Duggan is not a bad writer and I blame the messy finish of his otherwise awesome guardians run with infnity wars on marvel trying to cram other characters into it and then a weird mash up idea that while cool, kept the guardians out of their own damn event and from confrting a now mad gamora, but that and deadpool made me forget the guy is a good writer and can do great things. Maruaders however won me back to him with intrest. A unique concept, the x-men as pirates helping ferry goods to krakoan allied states and ferry trapped mutants from hostile ones, is fucking awesome. The only thing missing is nightcrawler and it’s clear hickman has other plans, though I still feel he shoudl’ve been on the boat as he has both the relation to kitty pryde and pirate pedgree that fit in perfectly. Speaking of kitty after years of writers misusing her due to having a crush on her as a kid and shoving her into half baked romances with peter quill and her ex peter rasptuin, the latter failing so badly that marvel pulled the plug on their wedding because fans clearly didn’t want it, and battling my own reluctance ot see her front and center again, Duggan makes good use of her again: Kitty is given the unique hook of the portals not working for her and no one, even her old friend Doug after he gets back, being able to figure out WHY. Though I do hope Doug does show up here and explain it more, as him being kitty’s best friend once is rarely brought up since he got back and it’s silly it hasn’t been. But rather than take this on the chin Kitty strikes up a crew consisting of big sister Storm, first class graduate x-man, badass gay and kitty’s friend and ex iceman, bishop who reluctantly joins as her bishop more on that in a second and the best of them by a mile: Pyro. The original, finally brought back and given some intresting backstory: he was the first mutant brought back and felt good about it..t ill he realized that despite sacrificing himself to save a, if your familiar with the various cartoons this will be baffling but trust me, reformed senator kelly as Pyro himself was dying from the legacy virus, only to find out they did him first because they considered him expendable basically and naturally was upset over that, drunk a bunch of the liquor kitty smuggled in, for logan naturally, and passed out and then joined in on the rescue mission that formed the team because why not and stayed because it was a great offer. Speaking of offers with a new purpose, Kitty accepted her old enemy Emma Frost’s offer to be red queen, which includes a seat on krakoa’s council and was basically emma’s way of saying fuck you to her old cohort who she was forced to bring back on to handle the seedier side of Krakoa’s dealings via his underworld connections, sebastian shaw. Emma is the fincical backbone of krakoa, having the shipping connections to get the flowers in and out and now having kitty to handle the stuff she can’t and do some of the shipping, as well as again tell Sebastian, who naturally wants both gone and is pissy at Emma being so far ahead of him, wants gone. And while he’s seemingly succeded with kitty I not only have every expectation that while ressuection is failing to work on her she’ll be back, but that trying to murder one of the most beloved x-men whose consdiered family to among others three of krakoa’s captains, bishop after this series, four of their council, five if you include Doug whose best friends with both his left arm which is also a deadly space robot and the very place they live on. The only reason he’s not going to die 80 times in increasingily horrifying ways is because the five can’t take on that kind of workload and one murderous ass beating from half of krakoa and krakoa itself is close enough.

Emma is easily one of the books best parts, being written back as she should: An anti hero who while quick with a cutting quip, truly cares for her charges, and mutantkind as a whole and has grown from the monster she started as or even the kind of person who’d use a therapy session from a desperate man having issues opening up emotionally after apocalypse used his body as a rental car to convince him to fuck her. And yes that’s how things started with Scott and Emma and yes it’s really fucked up and yes the story treats it as such, though I still wish Scott would get actual therapy, but as Linkara recently pointed out in his House of M Review the Marvel and DC universes weirdly lack therapists for the most part and thus it was left on my mind the last two weeks.. and yes I know DC tried but when your final product at trying to serious tackle mental health is heroes in crisis.. I award you no points and god have mercy on your soul. But while Emma and Kitty get the lions share of the focus the rest of the group is enjoyable, well done and intresting, if not given many arcs to themselves, but still have enough character moments to counterballance that. The standout of the rest of the crew is easily Pyro, taken from “why is he still dead despite being super popular and used in a heavy role in X2 that’s garnered fans of that version to this day and bafflement he became a foot note in the next movie and used in every adaptation” to fun side character with a skull on his face and a love of booze and setting things on fire. He’s finally given the respect he deserves sorta and while I hope more is delved into his ressurection angst, he’s a ton of fun and it again makes me wonder why it took 20+ years to bring him back, but i’m glad the right person did it. The rest of the crew are fun with Bishop being another standout. That being said part of the reason there isn’t a lot of focus is simply because in additoin to our brave crew the book is juggling a LOT of characters.. the morlocks and calisto, both given a proper treatment after wya too long, jumbo carnation a minor character from morrisons run who was introduced in the same issue he died is emma’s designer, shinobi shaw and christian frost, the latter I question why a main relative of one of marvel’s a-list mutants who was one of marvel’s earlier gay characters hasn’t been used in a big way till now but no time like the present, Sebastian and the people he shares his big bad spot with Homines Verde aka those tweens who ran the hellfire club during jason aaron’s run because the man is nuts and who I only seemd to liked, brillinatly revamped as a racist replacemnt for the hellfire club and so far a clever threat. The book is just stuffed iwth good characters, beautiful art, and a great tone that combines spectacular humor with really good story and worldbuilding. It’s also a nice contrast to hickman’s stuff: don’t get me wrong I love hickman’s writing style but it’s nice to have something JUST as good.. but with a cheerier tone and less weariness to it, while still not lacking weight. I can’t wait to see where this goes.. it’s a pirates life for me.

Excalibur: Like most of the dawn of X-Line outside of fallen angels, more on that in a minute and even then that had an intresting new directoin for betsy braddock, I was pumped for this one. A team I loved: While I struggled to find a run I loved with Claremont’s run having Brian Braddock be a raging dick whose terrible to his girlfriend and gets away with cheating on her and Claremont not really bothering to explain Saturnyne or other characters and their history with Brian well to us yanks who never had the chance to read those tales.. though why stories by alan moore and chris claremont haven’t been republished properly or in epic collections is beyond me. Warren Ellis, who I now loathe for being a scheming weasel who treated women like garbage, had a decent run with plenty of warlock, in a weird phase where he thought he was doug, Moira and Wolfsbane stuff I loved.. but also had 30-40 something pete wisdom shacking up with 18 year old at most kitty pryde, with Pete at the time being basically Warren Ellis badass self insert character, and given recent revelations i’m pretty sure he damn well knew kitty was just 18 and even if he didn’t having his own fanfic character deflower her is just all kinds of EWWWWWW. He also had Colossus, fresh of being a villian for a while for understandable reasons, nearly beat pete into a coma in a jealous rage over the ex.. the ex he dated while she was still a minor, and left because HE , and editorial, was uncomfortable with it for damn obvious reasons. I can see why fans like to see her as bisexual and pair her with Illiayna.. I mean why the fuck not? They have better chemistry than most of he hetrosexual intrests and are paried because of that and not because the writer wanted to make out iwth kitty as a teenager and forgot “oh yeah she’s fictional and i’m 40!” Christ thank god for Gerry Duggan. But yeah moving on from that I was still pumped as a magical x-men book with Besty Braddock now captain freaking britan, and apocalypse on the roster. And rictor and jubille? nad rouge and gambit I guess.. I don’t knokw if they fit but whatever. Sign me up. The actual result is a mixed back. I do like Tini Howard’s work here to a point: Betsy gets good character stuff and theres actually good tension from the fact that the new captain britan is no longer primarily a british ctizen, and the book brought back a character I felt marvel needed to do more with: Jamie. if you don’t know, Jamie is betsy and brian’s, her brother and the former captain britian, older brother who went insane due to his powers and thus just goes around in his underwear convinced reality isn’t real and he can do what he wants and the tension with Jamie refusing to have anything to do with his brother for no good reason is really good. Rictor and Apocalypse are likewise good sensable additons: Rictor turns out to be a natural to being a druid which is a nice twist and makes sense given when he lost his powers the biggest issue with that was loosing touch with earth after having a connection to it be a vital part of him for years. Apocalypse as an ominus chess master slowly securing magic for mutantkind with some goal we’re about to get answers to is really investing and adds a layer to his character, that much like doctor doom he’s as much sorecer as he is scinetest and given the guy’s immortal, it dosen’t feel like it was pulled out of nowhere. The problem is the other half of the cast.. dosen’t really work. I fucking love Jubilee, a faviroite of mine as an xman despite not being a huge 90′s x-men cartoon fan, just feels kinda shoe horned in. Her son becomes a dragon and she worries about him constantly, but her worrying about her son possibly not being a mutant on mutant land could be done in any other x-book, and fraknly I feel her personality would fit better with the maruaders, and it’d be intresting to see kitty and her on the same team since both really haven’t interacted. Here she just feels like “well tini wanted jubilee and no one else did soooo I made her son a dragon to justify getting her”. I feel more could be done and hope Tini has better plans for her. Rouge is one of my faviorte x-men and All New X Factor and Kelly Thompsons work with him and Rouge made me like Gambit again, and I DO love their marriage and it was a way better idea than the one Guggenhiem had planned.. but while the idea of Rouge being reborn is intresting and all, she still dosen’t really get to do much and like Jubilee just feels weirldy out of place while Remy has that plus he’s annoying, as while he’s the only one rightfully supscious of apocalypse he also won’t shut the fuck up about it for five minutes. Ig et where he’s coming from but it dosen’t make him less annoying. These aren’t bad characters, but sof ar they just feel weirdly out of place in a magic based book and unlike Rictor tini hasn’t made any of htem but Rouge feel in place.

That being said I could ignore that more.. but the villians are also week. So far at least, as the return of Satyurne has given the book it’s first good antagonist.. but what I feel drags the book down the most from it’s potential is the bad guys; Morgan Le Fay is the first antaognist, being mad at apocalypse’s intrusions and corrputing Brian.. but her motives are just so boring: She wants power and to rule, she hates mutants... while “hates mutants” is a qualifier for every other antagonist so far, she just feels bland.. Tini just dosen’t make her feel like a good antagonist and it’s a shame as mutant hater or not she’s something DIFFRENT from the throngs of mutant hating conspiracies, mostly from russia in the other books... she’s just so bland it dosen’t work. And after her is Cullen Bloodstone who as far as I can tell is written out of character.. haven’t read his book but I had both a friend confirm it and having read his marvel wiki entry, it just seems like an odd turn to have him be a racist asshole. But even with all my problems and underwhelm here.. I still WANT the book to get from okay to amazing, and feel it genuinely has the potetial. I’ve seen books sharply improve after a rough first arc, Duggan himself showed me that with his Guardians run. Sometimes it just takes time for something to truly blossom and I have a feeling even with my issues, with x of swords coming up howard’s going to flip it all on it’s head and leave me standing there gasping like a moron. I have hope for that. And if nothing else the book is at least UNIQUE. And not in a trainwreck way: by giving mutants a piece of the magic pie and having them tackle far weirder threats, it’s at least doing something new and it probably lands for other people if not me, and if nothing else it does brian 80 times better than the claremont run did. not a high bar but I do like the character and it’s nice to see him take such an intresting path, and the same goes for Betsy. Tini’s still got magic to do, and I have a feeling it’s going to take me by storm very soon.

Fallen Angels: Now for the other half of the coin as it were. Some fans weren’t happy about Betsy getting her old body back, and yes Psylocke wasn’t orignally asian but a white british woman bodyswapped iwth a japanese assasian and yes that’s as ludicrious and unteitonally offensive as it sounds, because horrible implications of said Body Swap or not, Psylocke was one of the few asian superheros of note. So to compromise , Hickman and co decided to split the diffrence: Betsy would come back and get a rank up to captain britan, while Kwannon, said assasian, would take over as Psylocke. Hence Excalibur above and fallen angels here and I was excited about it. The Body Swap thing went on a decade too long and this way fans got the character they knew as Psylocke in another book while the face they recognized would finally get some fleshing out. I was excited about that and while probably the least excited about this book of the intitial 5, it did have an intresting lead, two characters I did like (Kid Cable I grant was only under hickman who turned him from that brat version of cable who killed the one I really love to a good character in his own right), and an intresting antagonist in a sentient machine. In practice it was okay. The best I can say is that writer Brian Hill DOES do a great job taking a mostly minor x-character and really fleshing her out and making her engaging and Kwannon’s quest to save her daughter is really compelling.. but the premise of those who don’t fit with krakoa dosen’t work with the roster given. Laura Kinney is not only sticking with the x-23 name after dropping the wolverine mantle for no reason previously, something Hickman fixed as soon as he realized how fans felt for her apperance in the main book, while Cable feels nothing like the far more fun version from Hickman’s X-Men and later Duggan’s Cable. Add in Husk and Bling who do deserve to be on a team but feel out of place here, and it just.. is okay. The book has an intresting angagonist and a great lead, but just dosen’t work as a team book and would’ve been better off being JUST about kwannon herself, who is far and away the best part about the book and i’m glad she got fleshed out. Not TERRIBLE but nothing special and it’s a shame given the antagonist, whose name I can’t even remember at this point, is intresting and ties into mutantkind’s greatest enmies being man and machine accoridng to house and powers.. basically a decent concep twith a flawed execution. Maybe hill’ sbatman and hte outisders run is better. I need to get on that. That being said the premise and idea is so far being done well in Hellions which we’ll get to, even if I’m being cautious really getting into the book with Zeb Wells track record. But more on that in a bit.

X-Force: Time to make noise, bad guys leave us no choice.. you know the rest. But yeah X-force. The concept here grabbed me, having X-Force rather than just be the black ops squad but be literal black ops for krakoa, was really great and fit the brave new world.. what worried me was the writer, Benjamin Percy. Now a lot of x-fans probably knew him from the much beloved “Wolverine: The Long Night” podcast, which i’ve heard is utterly fantastic as is it’s followup.. but I hadn’t heard it, and had only heard of Percy from DC comics where under his belt was an okay teen titans run and a not very good and politcally unsubtle green arrow book. And i’m not against politics in comics it just wasn’t done at all well there and the “oliver queen looses hif ourture due to a shadowy conspiracy thing” was already done better by jeff lemire. So yeah I was going to give this a chance but figured like those books it’d start strong and then peter out. I. Was. Wronnnnggg. X-Force is easily one of the best of the dawn of x and uses said premise well. It started a bit roughly, mostly becasue the first arc idnd’t make clear x-force didn’t exist yet but was a great origin story: a squad of military commandos working for a shadowy consirtum who become x-force’s big bad, plunge onto Krakoa and massacre a bunch of mutantas and assinate charles xavier. He comes back, though it’s trickier for obvious reasons, but it’s clear from this, and from wolverine and kid omega’s sucessful investigation and finding domino, that this can’t go on and thus X-Forces is formed; The intellegence and black ops arm of Krakoa and the one arm of it’s goverment exempt from the ‘dont’ kill humans rule”. What followed was nearly a years worth of fast paced adventures with good character stuff: Wolverine is in his element, kid omega, while I had my doubts due to quinten being way overused , turned out to be a perfect choice basically being a more compitent teenage sterling archer, cocky and loving this but also really good at his job, while Domino gets a great arc dealing with her trauma over her mutalation and having some of her power stolen by the shadowy masked dickheads while Colossus deals with his trauma over what went down when he rescued some Russian mutants, with the book slowly building up new threats and towards a showdown with Russia, something that’s also been built up by conflicts in Wolverine and Mauraders, which again makes the world of x feel more like an actual world instead a bunch of comics in one cast herd. Jean Grey is good for intellegence, though by now seems to have noped out as she couldn’t take the toll, it’s not for everyone and most notably after 5 or 6 years of being treated worse and worse and written worse and worse and becoming a bigger and bigger piece of shit Beast is FINALLY put in the right spot: his darker turns aren’t ignored but he’s back to being an actually intellegent hero as X-force’s director, still a bit greasy but now for good reason and without a god complex or some such bullshit and with a tiny bit of his humor back. Not much else to say really, X-Force is well paced, enjoyable and gritty, getting the spirit of the team at it’s best down right while doing something fresh with it.

New Mutants (Ed Brisson) Last one, New Mutants is the odd duck of the dawn of x line in terms of how it was launched. Fallen Angels ended up being a mini series both due to Hill being busy and it’s cast being needed elsewhere but will presmibly get a follow up later, but it’s not the ONLY mini series in the line with Fantastic four/x-men, the giant sized one shots and now Empyre: X-Men all debuting in wave 2. New Mutants however is the first book to change writers and said writer STARTED in the middle of hickman’s run, partly due to scheduling delays but even before that it was partly by design and those issues haven’t been collected yet, with hickman’s short run being collected first. So you have a run that builds off what Hickman started but with it’s own ideas that started insidei t and suprisingly it .. really works. While I do think there are better books in the line Brisson’s new mutants is enjoyable, combining humor and character work. New Mutants focuses on the sextant, which was first brought up in hickman’s run, the series of habitats for younger mutants on krakoa that the new mutants look out for, and while the original new mutants are in space, Armor decides to try and bring some old friends in to join in paradise with the help of Glob Herman, that big pink guy with a visable skeleton and eyes, and Maxine and Manon, who in the tradition of layla miller were created for an event and not great htere but turned out amazing under the right writer.. who I think also wrote that event but whatever, a pair of empaths and telepaths who have trouble grasping the right ethics for using their powers. The four go to get one of my faviorite x-men back: BEAK! I missed him even if he’s weirdly suddenly repowered. Beak and his wife Angel only haven’t joiend in with their kids because his dad’s sick, and things soon escalate when a bunch of criminals try holding them all hostage and it’s up to boom boom, bored since everyone left her alone, to save the day! After that we deal with Magik rangling them and the team’s new mission statment: not wanting ot mess up again like she did with beak, who did join them but not without loosing his dad and then his memory of his dad thanks to the twins misguided efforts, Armor still wants to try welcoming new mutants in with the vetrans help, and thus we have our puprose: focusing both on how these younger mutant 20 somethigns of various ages from early to late work together to make a better world nad help their own get back to this world. it’s intresting.. I’m not in love with it like mauraders or x-force, but it’s still pretty good and their first big foe so far, DoX, a blog that well.. doxes mutants that haven’t arrived yet, seems to be intresting. Not much to say just pretty good and and better at mixing comedy and character stuff, and getting the cast right. Ed Brisson had already proven himself on old man logan, but this cements him as one of the hottest new x-writers around and i’m glad he was given a book here. He’s also succeded in making me actually like Glob Herman so that’s a plus.

Fantastic Four/X-Men The first title of wave 2 and easily one of the best, right up there with mauraders nad probably JUSST behind it and ONLY because i’ts a mini series, giving the X-Men their first real step into the rest of hte marvel universe. Sure the 4 had cameoed in the first issue and there’s been mentions of krakoa in other books and one off issues but mostly Krakoa really hadn’t impacted anything.. but that first issue also set things up with Scott’s conversation with Sue Richards

Yeah and in case those who haven’t been aware of what’s going on with the FF lately and either remember franklin as a 6-11 year old or wondered why the hell he was suddenly a teen when they read this crossover, it’s actually simple; At the end of secret wars the Richards family was put on a bus, also so marvel could shove the ff as a proper team out the door due to the whole fox rights thing, and when Dan Slott had brought them back.. and cleverly had more time pass for the richards than for the 616 proper, so he could age Franklin up to his late teens and Valeria up to her early ones, allowing the richards children to actually age since Franklin’s age always had to stay vauge due to marvel’s vage and wobbly time scale. This way they get both consitant ages and more agency. But the return also came with a price as Franklin, who if you didn’t know is so powerful he can create whole universe and shape the sturcture of the universe, had his powers break saving his family, and thus since he came back, he’s onlyg got so much of them left in the tank before they run out entirely, and it’s been an issue for him in Slott’s run as he worries about being the normal human in a fantastic family and comes to a head here, though rather than Hickman himself, who as mentioned last time has a marvelous track record with the family or FF series writer dan slott Hickman choose a wild card for this, though had both Hickman and Slott’s permission to do whatever he wanted: Chip Zdarsky, a modern marvel for marvel who’d writtne the four in marvel two in one but for some reason didn’t get the main book and this book makes me hope whenever Dan Slott bows out he gets his turn and while this is his first x-men work, Zdarsky proves he’s just as good here as is in most of his work on Howard the Duck, Jughead and Star Lord.. a weird selection I know but all classics.

With this power outage, Franklin is worried his dad is, at least subconciously, not really trying to help him and to make matters worse teh x-men show up to offer their help.. and Franklin his birthright. The arguments made by both sides are great and I will be covering the series in full soon but in a nutshell the four dont’ want to give up their son/nephew, Reed dosen’t trust Xavier and feels he wants to use his son’s powers while the x-men feel it’s franlin’s choice and he’s old enough to make it, he belongs with them and he’ll be safer there. It also works because Franklin understandably isn’t swayed by either as neither is reallyt alking to him more at him, especially his parents .. and only tries the gate when Kitty Pryde, the two bonded back in the 80s and a young franklin stopped her from comitting suicide long story but really moving, is the only one to tell him it’s his choice. This dosen’t go quite well though since Reed Richards, father of the year, decided to make a device to mask his son’s mutant gene and no one, including his own family, is happy about htis. Naturally Franklin, with Val’s help, runs away.. and then as if it couldn’t get worse DOOM shows up wanting to help so now it’s a three way dance between them for hte fate of franklin. The series has gorgeous art form the dodsons a really damn compelling story and great setup for further stories for both lines and feels like the best of both franchises. It’s the x-men’s first huge impact on the rest of the marvel universe,a nd it feels like it with the ending showing that and showing this might not be the last time both sides crossover. It’s everything you could want from a crossover and i’m only being so brief because I want to review it soon as a huge fan of both groups. Easily one of the best x-men stories of the line and one of the best stories for both groups period.

Wolverine: We’re onto the final two, and Percy’s second book and the first solo.. and it’s logan again! Makes sense though: Wolverine only just came back from the dead, and while both is daughter and alternate future self carried the woverline banner for him, the original hasn’t gotten his own ongoing in some time. And so far.. it’s pretty good> the first issues a bit messy due to it’s lenght, but overall the book is intresting and has Logan graple with being the best at waht he does and if he can be better or if he deserves paradise while also delivering a compelling solo mission teaming Wolverine up with a federal agent who resents mutants. it also does some good world building, explaning why Krakoan drugs have things like wait lists (they want to control production closely both to avoid having the flower taken away and for quality control), and expanding the russia subplot while using Dracula of all people as a major antagonist, which is clever especailly since this isn’t his first rodeo with the x-men. Just a fun book wiht loads of promise.

Hellions: NOt much to say here as it’s hard to judge after two issues, buti f nothing else this series brought back the delightfully batshit Nanny, who just with last weeks issue offered to nurse Greycrow (who had his name changed from scalphunter because of course marvel did why wouldn’t they) and falling down. It combines humor with an odd but well thought out cast and makes Alex Summers intresting without making everyone else assholes, a hard but earned feet. If it continues to be good.. I dunno, especially since i haven’t been impressed by any of zeb wells other works especially his new mutants run, good god that one’s am ess, but so far he’s winning me over with a clever concept and roster full of deep cuts. Final Thoughts: I won’t be covering Empyre: X_men, though I did enjoy it and i’l save that one for next time. For now this has been a hell of a year of x-men comics, with even the weaker books still having something intresting and none being outright terribule and only one had a bad grasp on some of it’s cast and for a line this big and expansive, that’s a gold medal achivment. After YEARS of stasis the x-men have finally risen again better, bolder and stranger than ever. IS every book A+ gold star etc etc, no, but what’s important.. is that it’s all DECENT. There’s enough standout books to make it work but as i’ve made clear what isn’t the best of the best is still good or decent. There’s nothing bad, no one phoning it in or not giving an effort, everyone is trying thier hardest and succeding on SOME level even if not completely and that.. that’s truly amazing and I look forward to more of it as this line continues. Pax Krakoa and hopefully i’ll see you again.

12 notes · View notes

toomanyfeelings5 · 5 years

Text

the definitive ranking of pulp! the classics covers and summaries, from worst to best

(Note: Pride and Prejudice was not included in this list, as there were only poster and greeting card options for the work, and not an actual book or summary. Had a book and summary been provided, it would have ranked lowest for unoriginality. It’s literally just 1995 Colin Firth staring moodily at you. The caption is “Lock Up Your Daughters...Darcy’s in Town!” which is just unfortunate, frankly, and honestly laughable.)

16. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

You take a novel that’s positively overflowing with drama and give it THIS cover? THIS summary? Absolutely uninspired.

Here’s looking at you Cathy...

Childhood sweethearts turned star-crossed lovers, fuelled by bitter jealousy and dark revenge. She’s pretty and posh, he’s a moody brooding bastard. Heartbreak, alcoholism and plenty of illegitimate kids – it’s a perfect Northern drama.

Where is the feeling? The screaming violins playing as we read? The moors? The time skips? A hint of the positively bonkers plot that only a Bronte could compose?

15. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Oh, the heterosexuality of it all. On an Oscar Wilde novel, no less.

Hey girl...I’d sell my soul for you!”

Dorian Gray might be as pretty as a picture, but he's paid a devilishly high price for it. He'll stay drop-dead gorgeous, but there's something nasty festering in the attic...

Pretty as a picture and still lusting after ladies? Please. Pulp! Classics, you can do better.

14. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Again, we must speak the ancient chant: Oh, the heterosexuality of it all.

When it came to loving...He knew which Daisy to pick!

Sorry old sport, but Gatsby has a bigger house than you, prettier friends than you and a Rolls Royce to cart them all round in. To a backdrop of popping champagne corks and orchestral jazz, our hero bids to buyout his old adversary, perennial jock, Tom Buchanan and reclaim Daisy, his favourite bit of High Society totty.

Nick Carraway gets not one mention, which is odd given that he’s the narrator, the protagonist, and Gatsby’s most ardent love interest. Also strange is the cover’s insistence that Jordan Baker, known lesbian, would swoon over Gatsby. Doubly strange is how tiny the women are in comparison to Gatsby’s massive frame. What is, again, bamboozling, is how the slogan on the cover seems to imply that Gatsby knows how to pick a woman. He doesn’t know how to choose anyone, let alone love them. All Gatsby truly knows is the desperate pursuit of a fruitless dream.

13. Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

Romeo looks like he could be Juliet’s father. Juliet looks like an Upper East Side Widow, not at all like the tween girl she really is.

Too wild to live...too young to die!

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou…. Oh wait, he’s hanging around in the garden again. Will young Romeo and his Juliet ever be able to express their raging hormones? Or will their feuding families make this romance blossom into a poisoned flower? Either way, both their houses are totally plagued!

“Wherefore” means “why,” not “where,” though I do have to award points to the summary for placing the blame squarely on the feud and not on these doomed young lovers. Though again, young isn’t the operative word I’d use to describe this version of Romeo and Juliet.

12. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe

This is what one would expect upon seeing a pulp cover of a classic novel. Not much originality or flair is present, but at least some sense of the story is conveyed.

Solitude was driving him nuts!

Cannibals! Captives! Coconuts!

One man’s love of the sea leaves him stranded on a desert island with nothing but a few goats, a bible and a parrot for company.

Will he ever escape? Will his new pal Friday learn to efficiently press a goatskin jerkin? Or will solitude send him totally barmy?

WILL Friday learn to efficiently press a goatskin jerkin? One must read to find out, I suppose...

11. Tess of the D'urbervilles

Marilyn Monroe?????

She’s...no angel.

The original Wessex girl!

Tess is just a humble milkmaid when the local landowner has his wicked way. Her new beau, the smarmy Angel Clare, is none too pleased when he finds out she’s already been deflowered. What is a girl to do? Bloody revenge of course, and an ending to touch the hardest of hearts.

At least the summary blames the terrible men in Tess’s life rather than Tess herself, unlike the tagline on the cover. And while Marilyn Monroe seductively lounging about with a drink doesn’t recall the faintest essence of Hardy’s novel, one would like to imagine Tess relaxing in whatever clothes she pleased, a straw dangling out of her drink, a smile on her face as she answers to no one and spends her quiet evening in solitude.

10. Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

An innocuous cover; the men’s faces hint at the comedic nature of this novel, and yet...something nags the brain upon looking at this.

To say nothing of the dog...

Incompetence, embarrassment and general disaster - no it’s not PMQs, it’s a trip down the Thames! Three hapless fellows and a world weary dog decide they need a holiday from their exhausting hypochondria. Hilarious mayhem ensues.

To say nothing of the dog indeed: Why does the dog on the cover have a human face?

9. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

All one can say upon viewing this cover is: Jeff Goldblum, is that you?

Change really BUGGED him!

Poor old Gregor. One day he's depressed about his dreary travelling salesman gig, the next, he's roaching around the apartment and disgusting his family. All that's left is creeping the walls and eating garbage. How's his sis ever going to find a sugar daddy with her grotty bro in tow?

Gregor isn’t grotty, he’s our six-legged hero in this tragic tale.

And yet in the end, the question that haunts us all echoes in our minds in an unceasing echo: is that Jeff Goldblum?

8. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Alice as a hippie is eye-catching, but not particularly creative.

This cupcake was off her head!

What HAS happened to little Alice? Taking 'shrooms, hanging out with hookah smoking ne'er-do-wells and being dragged to court. That's gonna be one hell of a hangover!

As much as I’m intrigued by Alice wearing heart-shaped sunglasses and a peace sign necklace, the summary and the cover consist of one joke and one joke only.

7. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

I just like how Dr. Jekyll in this cover looks equally as fucked up as Mr. Hyde.

No more Mr. Nice Guy... There’s a sinister man about London town with something of the night about him. Mr Hyde is mad, bad and has a penchant for bumping off MPs and other kindly innocents. Will his friend Dr Jekyll be able to stop him? Or is there something more to their relationship than meets the eye…? Only the intrepid Utterson can get to the bottom of this mystery, but what will he find in Dr Jekyll’s lab?

Points to this summary for including Mr. Utterson, and for insinuating that Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde may be clandestine lovers.

6. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

Ladies, gentlemen, and otherwise, don’t we love it when a greedy rich man gets bludgeoned by a mace into being more generous and kindly towards others?

This cat was a drag....’til a midnight wake-up call...

Christmas?! What a load of Humbug. Mistletoe and Wine just don't do it for Scrooge; he's a workaholic miser with an attitude problem. If he doesn't change his ways, he'll end up with no friends and Tiny Tim won't last the year. Let's hope some spooky night-time visitors can put the jingle back in his bells!

Ring-a-ling-a-ling, Mr. Scrooge. The mace is raised and the bells are ringing.

5. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

The tag-line made me, as the youths say, laugh out loud.

Whoops! Apocalypse....

The horror! The horror!

Kurtz might be the apple of every brutish imperialist’s eye, but his God complex is getting wildly out of hand in the depths of the jungle. What on earth will Marlow find when he finally gets downriver? Devil worship? Savages? Heads on sticks? Or just another nutty white man with his knickers in a twist?

Surprisingly anti-racist summary made this jump to the higher echelons of this esteemed list, though of course that doesn’t excuse this novel’s abhorrent and embarrassing fake-deep racism. It also must be noted that the tag-line should have been “Whoops! White supremacy!” and the text of the novel should have entirely consisted of Chinua Achebe’s essay on the work.

4. The Hounds of Baskerville by Arthur Conan Doyle

The cover alone is a winner. A rabid chihuahua out for blood? Inspired.

Murder...Mystery...Walkies!

A desolate moor, a diabolical dog in need of a muzzle and some inbred locals; Sherlock Holmes is really up against it. With the help of his trusty sidekick Dr. Watson, Holmes pieces together a mystery that has captured the imagination of readers across the decades. All whilst practising a serious coffee and cocaine habit.

The tag-line is fun and catchy, but sadly this summary must be admonished for insisting that Dr. Watson is merely a “trusty sidekick” to Sherlock Holmes. Heterosexuality strikes again, reducing the impact of the striking cover design.

3. Dubliners by James Joyce

Finally! Some style, some panache, some flair to accompany these short stories about being sad and horny in Ireland.

Stuck in the Liffey with you...

Booze, Sex and Hot Floury Potatoes… Those Dubliners are at it again!

Liars, thieves, whores and priests… James Joyce sure knew how to throw a party! This relentlessly downbeat collection explores the very worst aspects of human nature, and doesn’t leave out the juicy bits. It might not be in the best possible taste, but who doesn’t want to get down and dirty in Dublin?

The summary and cover work in tandem to wholeheartedly convince me that Dubliners is an action-packed, slick collection of stories detailing the wild escapades of a motley cast of ragamuffins, and I gotta hand it to the folks over at Pulp! Classics for injecting some bonafide vintage cool into Joyce’s work.

2. Othello by William Shakespeare

I have so many thoughts on this. Mr. T. as Othello is fascinating, as is the tagline, “Some kind of Bard...aaaaasss.” Is this a commentary on blaxploitation media? One can’t help but recall Mr. T.’s reasoning behind his mohawk, his gold chains, to honor his ancestors and assert his living, unshakable humanity in a racist society. Is this is a genuine effort on the part of Pulp! Classics to imply that a blaxploitation-influenced adaptation of Othello could reveal deeper truths to the play that we have had yet to glimpse?

Some kind of Bard... aaaasss

He’s a bardass brother with the love of a fine woman. That is until some cloven hoofed honky starts talking crazy about variously hued sheep tupping the hell outta each other! You gotta pity the fool who gets shafted by the green eyed monster. Let’s hope Othello can work out who to trust before it’s too late…

The fast-paced alliterative language of the summary harkens to Shakespeare’s own wit-fueled dialogue and penchant for creative language. The summary also calls Iago a devil, which is apt, and implicitly criticizes his racism, hinting at the play’s greater tragedies to come. The cover and summary also work in tandem to emphasize Othello’s jealousy and destruction: the “green-eyed monster” is mentioned, and the cover itself is a putrid green. An excellent example of what a vintage cover and summary can achieve.

1. Frankenstein by Mary Shelly

You all knew this was coming.

This kid was born on the wrong side of the lab...

Frankenstein’s monster is on the rampage; terrorising the locals, unleashing murderous hell… and reading novels in his spare time. Can his petrified creator stop this reign of horror before his girlfriend gets the chop?

A James Dean-inspired creature, thereby making them a queer icon? Masterful. The creature being “born on the wrong side of the lab?” A stroke of genius; that they’re called a kid puts the poignancy of the monster’s plight into even greater relief, while simultaneously emphasizing their tragic charm. The clear distinction between Frankenstein and the creature? Reader, I exhaled in a cathartic release of tension. The loving detail that the creature reads novels in their spare time, like any other leather-jacket wearing, motorcycle-riding ruffian with a heart of gold? Beautiful.

Truly, the obvious queer energy of this cover and summary highlights an overlooked dimension of Shelly’s great work while also paying homage to what draws us to this Modern Prometheus time after time. Do we care about the petrified creator in this summary? Not at all. He’s not on the cover, appearing both rebellious and gentle. We are here for the creature, in their leather jacket, on their motorcycle, novel sticking out of a back pocket on their jeans, ready to whisk us away to a place where even monsters like us can find solace, and be at peace, and commune with each other. We need only take their outstretched hand, and be willing to leave the mundane world for something better, for the chance to no longer be alone.

#books #art #classic works #i'm going to purchase a copy of that frankenstein cover and no one will stop me

16 notes · View notes

elizabethrobertajones · 6 years

Note

Is there a particular reason supernatural hates twilight?

Oh my god that’s a complicated one :P I think it’s largely a cultural response to Twilight, which was really disliked in general pop culture by everyone but the target audience of teen girls, largely for its creepy message of stalking and purity culture, and the fear that tweens were soaking up a bad message of shitty relationships and shame. Which I guess wanders a bunch of territory about how much tweens know their own heads and can be allowed to like the things they like without being mocked for it, but then I grew up as a teen during the craze but surrounded by virulent anti-Twilight feeling from intellectual writing snobs outside and in the relevant genres, and have since wandered into the YA fantasy genre myself as a writer so I have a lot of feelings about this and need to fiercely learn to defend my own writing against the instinct that saying the 4 main characters are all 17 and female in the first book is an instant cause for deflection and embarrassment about its perception, so, you know, this first paragraph ends in the meme about “in this essay I will -”

Sera Gamble is an actual Twilight fan, however, fitting the secondary demographic of attractive women of the same broad description of Bella/Stephanie Meyer with a heart shaped face and long brown hair so I can totally see HOW it got her when you add in whatever amount of personal spookiness ends up with you writing on a horror show for 6 years at least :P Very much the secondary demographic of the novels after the teen versions of the same women >.>

The writer of 6x05, however, is a dude, and there’s something deeply mocking about most of the portrayal, except I suspect the bar scene in the cold open, which IS mocking but seems to have been overseen by a Twilight fan to get in tons of accurate details with a level of absolute parody perfection. Kristen and Robert are honestly some of the best rando side characters :’)

Dean also is avidly not the sort of Twilight demographic and given his job probably finds the whole mythology ridiculous, so making jokes about killing vampires and calling them “Twilight” derogatorily is one of his favourite jokes. 6x05 implies Sam and Dean have a fair amount of passing knowledge of Twilight because it was a huge craze, and even outside my circles of fandom and writing and being a teenage girl etc at the time it was inescapable culturally… It’s one of the few things for teenage girls that Dean genuinely seems not to like, and he even seems to be totally cool with other YA, like mockingly calling Kevin “Katniss” with a reasonable amount of affection/implied admiration of her archery skills or whatever.

I kinda think the new writer (Brett Matthews) went overboard on selling Adult Men Mock Teenage Girls For Their Interests in that scene where they’re in Kristen’s bedroom, because for once Sam and Dean - and this is SOULLESS SAM too - are in agreement about the other books and Twilight, and Dean having his own Pattinson moment later with Lisa, is not confronting being a sexy creature of the night stalking and harming his love interest at night after sneaking into her room, in any sort of way betraying interest in a supposedly female/teenage property like a bunch of other stuff he likes. Since Sam is soulless that scene should be written that Dean has a secret “it’s not so bad” feeling, but it never comes and he slaughters all the vampires and reclaims his agency and the metaphor that Twilight is rapey and bad represented by those vampires remains the entire main message with the girls being disproportionately punished, while even the guys who Boris assaulted and turned being socially better off, with the women as angsty poetry writing chattel the recruiters are “allowed to bang”

It’s enough of a bad taste that it goes past the point of being fair and has strong and disappointingly surface level misogyny about how vampire romances suck, and for an episode that deals heavily with assault themes, still misses the mark by punishing and blaming the girls without seeing them as sympathetic victims, instead punishing them for liking the crap edgy teenagers like >.> Idk if Sera missed the nuance or it only got worse once it was filmed or if it was funny to her and she was engaging in some self-deprecation as well or what (no one would argue Twilight is well-written but its narrative and love story is compelling to the psyche in a way that can’t be denied considering its massive hysterical popularity at the time and that means I’m shamefully coming to realise that bashing it and dismissing it outright even if I think it’s a bad book is shamey and thoughtless, and not considering the people who DO like it and why…)

Whatever it is we ended up with an episode which somehow starts as a loving if kind of mocking parody/subversion of Twilight that rapidly turns into shitting all over it in a really depressing way, which gives the entire flavour of the show’s teasing of Twilight that bad flavour… At the end of the day it’s all common garden variety misogyny and hating what teenage girls are interested in, though. Lovingly told through a lens of a whoooole bunch of adult men mocking it, in the writing, directing, characters and actors, and only the show runner is actually a fan, which just gives it that really weird flavour of being a KNOWLEDGEABLE hate-wank about the books.

#Asks #6x05 #we don't talk about season 6

29 notes · View notes

treessixtynursery · 3 years

Text

The best plants that smell like marijuanas

We can't stop snorting smiles because we are still through our caffeine haze from the day, like an army of leopard-print A-woks as we check out the succulent marihuana we found on the other side of the gettyphone-charging-cone. It's claimed it smells like marihuana, so we think we might be smart with our new vocabularies. Instead of declaring True Colors, we might call them fucund, hemp, or mindplant.

Just hang on to it.

marijuanas plants? Not that thing?

Meanwhile, marijuanas plants whenever we change our name it makes us even more of a schmuck, but bear with me. Been running around with the idea that poi with dogs, a shopping mall romance, and a history of installing cringe taking forever to register on our SLAss? It's only a matter of time. As we, by various confusions, had carved out the doomed, miscarriage of self-assurance previously marketed by the absurd sensation that goes viral every summer, it seemed kinda silly to go to any kind of trouble to reverse things. But the self-conscious nagging of our whimsical self at nagging tweens that still can't spell luau, monstrosity, and tropical is just weird. We're past resisting that feeling.

A person can only be plants that smell like marijuanas by their own self. Ever experienced the benefit of being a person? When you really let it go and help it go and learn to not put yourself in situations where you inevitably do whatever, it all becomes much easier, and no matter how hard it is to go, it's all okay. Because we're starting the moment for you.

Here you go: Lovely marihuana. Not your ability to smell like party boy supreme, either. Can you imagine a revolutionary new hit single, like Anna Kendrick-laced by a luscious, acid rain-speckled shot of marijuana, where uplifting danceable beats paired with a relaxed, golden buzzy odor overcome at any angle absolutely makes you wanna be The Drunk Fast-Faster Sensation Walking Everywhere Everywhere Around Your Inn? How easy would that be? Sounds like the star of the show, huh? Everybody's every pop culture sensation can hold their head high. Eat.

At any rate, since ketchup? Although we're still not on the anti-ingredients bandwagon, yes. We went for the real thing, THC, one of the top priorities of getting it like clones los Angeles. I saw on the commercials before the election. Want it but I already have some mason jars of it? Of course you do. Over to you. Yeah? Please do. How to remove the urine filled mason jars without vomiting at a mass of undetermined spores and cannibalizing our tiny brains. “I am now a plant that wants to pull a 2 Wheeler through your new mason jars. Gett this Mule everywhere.” But no. Not really, not really at all. Kind of like a shit naked lamp they provide for the comic relief in this post—immense, it's on Craigslist now. Want some gol

#plants that smell like marijuanas #marijuanas plants #marijuanas plants seeds #cbd

0 notes

goofygoldengirl · 6 years

Text

Why You Should Be Grateful That Miraculous Ladybug Is Out Now Instead Of 2008

Ok buckle up kids cause this is gonna be a long one and its gonna get wordy and grandma might ramble a bit. Fellow old timers feel free to chime in if I missed anything.

Disney Channel? You Mean Sh*ty Channel!

Most of you were too young to remember this but from about 2006-2012, before the advent of Phineas and Ferb and Gravity Falls, no one over the age of about twelve point five would ever admit to liking anything on the Disney Channel. Yes that’s right the Disney Channel, the literal embodiment of what might happen to you if you took about fifty cups of Red Bull mixed in with exactly 50 packets of Splenda. Edgy tweens and even edgier teens across despised The Disney Channel with all they, no we, had. Its shows and unfortunate stars were the butt of every single joke, degraded in ways that probably would not be cool now, and boy oh boy if you actually watched The Disney Channel you kept it on the down low. Considering that Miraculous Ladybug is now being distributed by Disney when not on Netflix, the hypothetical switch from Nick to Disney would have been the show’s death sentence. Don’t believe me? Look what happened to Naruto when it moved from Cartoon Network to Disney.

I Will Go Down With This Ship And You All Are Going Down With Me!

If you think the whole love square plus bonus Kagami and Luka are riling up the fans then oh boy I have some news for you. Ten years ago would have been TEN MILLION times worse. This was back when the Twilight craze just kicked off and let me tell you the dynamics of the Edward/Bella/Jacob triangle made its way into fandoms everywhere. Multishipping and polyamory did not exist. You had your OTP sail or sink til the end and damn every single motherf*er that got in your way. Another shipper? Start an argument on your site of choice and watch it blow up to epic proportions as others joined in. Sometimes your hatred was so strong that you resorted to creating immature anti shipping fanart and fanfic with a long detailed description on how much that ship sucked. If there was rival love interest in canon? Vilified beyond reason in fanworks. If they had no bad traits, ka pam! Let’s create one. Already a bit of a jerk? Now they’re the devil and should go to hell. Especially if said character was female, because hey the average teenage girl back in 2008 had a sh*tton of internalized misogyny. And how you said would this apply to Miraculous Ladybug if it came out ten years ago? There would be intense infighting among the shippers of the love square itself. You had to pick one side and stay with it, even if they’re both the same two people. And don’t get me started on all the love triangle AMVS that would feature Adrienette feat Kagami and Luka. There would be dozens of: Thinking of You by Katy Perry, My World by SR-71, or Facedown by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

Click Out and Close The Laptop!

Ok let’s be mature about this guys. Once a show gets an audience with a demographic of teen and up, certain fanworks (they used to be called lemons) will pop up. Back in 2008, it wasn’t common knowledge to most teenagers that it was highly illegal to depict explicit underage smut. Most sites did not have a good filtering system, and even if you weren’t one of those people lying about your age to gain access to mature content, the likelihood that you’d stumble upon something you didn’t expect, want, or prepared to see was very high. However, with that being said, most people then, like now upon finding out that Adrien and Marinette are both 14, would agree that our lovestruck duo are way too young to even consider engaging in activity beyond kissing.

It’S NoT A PHASE MoM!

2008-2009 was the height of emo and scene. If you happened to not be what most media consider to be in the “popular crowd” at your school, then you knew someone who was and get acquainted with the music, looks, and all that goes along with it. And if you have a character who dresses like a cat, wears black, and looks edgy enough for you, Ladybug would get sidelined to the point where everyone believes that Chat Noir is the main character. Or even better: Adrien himself gets sidelined because he looks too preppy and because he’s not sad enough. And oh that’s not even touching upon the sh*tstorm that would happen once Luka would get introduced. You think everyone is fawning over Luka now? Ten years ago there would be no escaping from him. Everyone and their OC would have been paired up with Luka because there is actually a hot emo guy on tv. If the creators decided to poll the fans and ask who they thought was the most attractive dude, Luka would be in the first three spots. Any episode without Luka would be deemed to be unwatchable. Deviantart stamps with Luka that flash song lyrics from Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, My Chemical Romance, Evanescence, Hawthorne Heights, Linkin Park, AFI, Green Day, and all the other bands I wish I could add but can’t would take up the bio on everyone’s deviant art page. Someone would photoshop Luka’s head on Gerard Way’s body and call it the sexiest thing that ever existed. I am serious dudes, you should be glad it’s not 2008. I’ve been there.

And that’s the end folks. Excuse me while I reach for my glass of wine and drain it.

#miraculous ladybug #fandom commentary #long post #2008

17 notes · View notes

thusspakesophie · 6 years

Text

Miscellaneous Meditations Rewatching PotC <3

I’ve been rewatching the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. (no, the ones that came out after my tweens don’t count) I think Curse of the Black Pearl is the purest joy of any viewing experience I know of??? I actually adore every second of it. It’s perfect. Jack is obvs a slytherin. So is Elizabeth, albeit of the borderline-gryffindor bad-tempered and honour-valuing (even if herself lacking) variety. Will is a cinnamon roll gryffindor who sometimes tries to be a slytherin, bless him. His father is even more precious; he might even be a hufflepuff. (Everyone around him is busy turning into eels and sharks and he’s all ‘imma be a beautiful coral reef with sea flowers and starfish~!’) Barbossa is also a textbook slytherin. I didn’t appreciate him enough when I was younger, so here’s some love for Barbossa <3 That Pirate voice tho~ A+++ (Why is Drapple so famous, when ... Barbossapple? Barbapple? Applossa? exists??? Did Draco ever spend an entire movie going on about how miserable he was cursed because he couldn’t eat apples? Did he ever die with one clutched to his heart? Or come back from the dead just to bite apples with RELISH? No. No he did not. Inferior apple romance.) Norrington is another textbook gryffindor who has slytherin moments because who doesn’t in these movies? I mean seriously the number of double crosses in At World’s End (leaving aside the ones in Dead Man’s Chest) is completely out of control. I must’ve seen that movie half a dozen times by now and I still couldn’t tell you the plot. My favourite piece of reasoning is where Sao Feng decides that the best thing to do to a captured goddess right before releasing her is try to rape her. Like, that will totally make things better for you when she’s all-powerful again?? Tho now that I pride myself on my naval expertise thanks to Patrick O’Brian, Barbossa casually being like ‘loose the cannons!’ to capsize the ship has to be up there, stupid-wise. ‘Loose cannon’ is an expression for a reason dude. All you will get is a ship full of holes and an entire crew with pulverised bone jelly instead of bodyparts. Elizabeth is like 95% motivated by horniness for the entire second movie Pintel and Ragetti are a brOTP for eternity Also eternal props to the ridiculous fight choreography and brilliant score. These movies are a pretty compelling argument that you literally do not need anything else to be delightful. Jack and Will in Curse of the Black Pearl are the most precious comedy duo. The latter doesn’t get enough credit for that, imo! CotBP is kind of supposed to be an anti-corset commercial, and somehow totally failed. For me, anyway. I might even have been more excited to wear my first corset because of it. Oops. Go figure. ;) :P Cutler Beckett is a great name. Also speaking of things I missed/didn’t appreciate as a kid, he totally doesn’t have a dick. No wonder Jack is so quick to think of guys being eunuchs. Oh and villainous harpsichord theme A+ Battle of the theme music is an impossible choice. Drunken cello and swashbuckling magnificence? Epic romance? Headbanging (and heartbeat-based - I see you character nod) electrobass + orchestral kraken glory? Tender musicbox turned tormented organ? I LOVE IT ALL Every villain should be required to angstily play the organ. It’s badass. 1000% approve. Kylo Ren take note. That poor Kraken just got killed off because it was OP. It ate the Pearl once and they were like ‘oh shoot it needs to... not exist in the next movie... or else we can’t have a 40 minute battle in a whirlpool’. Realistically speaking there is absolutely no way Cutler Beckett wouldn’t be like ‘you have a ship that’s nice SET THAT TERRIFYING BEASTIE ON ALL MY ENEMIES STAT’ Actually that’s probably the stupidest decision in the entire thing: keeping Davy Jones’ heart-in-a-box on board his own ship so that its guards can be conveniently slaughtered and leave it available for whoever. Anyone with a particle of sense would hide that thing on the biggest hunk of land possible and be like ‘if I don’t get back from our meeting on time it’s toast’. Also what is the point of those two armadas at the end? They all assemble for some impressive wide shots and then do *literally nothing* but watch while the flagships battle it out. Like ??? “How can we make our sea battle more epic?” “Maybe it can be during like, a huge storm” “Yeah it’s in a whirlpool” “Oh sweet. Uhm. How about, add a ton of air ballet?” “Perfect!” The progressive absurdity of Jack’s cannon-and-rope acrobatic escapes is beautiful. He literally flies out of a whirlpool and a collapsing sinking ship during the last one, on a seaweed-sail parachute, with a heartbroken bride in his arms. I mean.... OK. XD

I still really fucking appreciate how Elizabeth learned to be an expert swordswoman in the like, few months’ space between the first and second movies. She was a feisty damsel in distress, but still a damsel in distress, so giving her the power to fight back made 12-year-old me *extremely* happy. And her becoming the Pirate King was even better so I completely forgive the nonsensical plot leading up to that~! :3 I love how easy it is to fuck with pirate politics. ‘Nobody ever votes for anyone else so literally anyone has the ability to be kingmaker. And by literally anyone we mean Jack Sparrow, because of course.’ (Jack Sparrow = Winston Peters) Rewatching these movies is very strange because it’s like they contain my past self in them. I hadn’t realised quite how many of Jack’s jokes made it into my friends’ personal collection. I remember a lot of ‘my peanut’ ‘Nobody move! I’ve dropped me brain’ ‘Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this madness’ etc. It’s like a shrine to the mid-2000s cult of raNdOM. “Why is the rum always gone?” - the human condition, a summary. A+++ Existential commentary.

Tia Dalma is played by Naomi Harris! I guess that’s why she always looked familiar. #mysterysolved Ditto Stellan Skarsgard. Elizabeth’s stunt with her ‘haunted’ wedding dress is wonderful. I love how subtle it is. (TORTUGA in flaming letters) (Also damn they actually do roll with the bad luck, fated tragedy etc thing with that marriage... tho even in the image of that dress sinking into the ocean there’s a nod to how Elizabeth was never suited to the restriction of her old life, symbolised by the suffocating corsetry. So it’s sad but also maybe it kind of suits them to end up Pirate King and Captain of the Flying Dutchman. I’ve always really loved that all the main characters end up in a different important position. Will will make an excellent psychopomp.) I have other thoughts about magic and epic romance in PotC but they were too serious and lengthy to include. I’m putting them in another post <3 Anyway, I still love these movies!

22 notes · View notes

lildark1 · 7 years

Text

I hate the Anti-Sanvers on Facebook - Personal Rant

Reading the comments on Facebook about Alex and Maggie’s relationship makes me hate humanity sometimes:

“It’s supposed to be a superhero show, about Supergirl stepping out of her cousin’s shadow. We don’t need this romance” It’s still about that dickweed, the Sanvers is a very small portion of the show. If you don’t need romance then we don’t need clark/lois, kara/james, any of that. Relationships are a part of the story too. If they didn’t have relationships they’d be robots or just unfeeling aliens.

“Only a small portion of us like this, the rest of us think it’s useless” Excuse me, who the hell are you speaking for? Almost every one I’ve talked to about this loves the Alex/Maggie storyline. Is it perfect? No, but it’s something we need to see. We need to see that coming out stories aren’t all about pre-tweens and teenagers. Hell I’m nearly 30 and I’ve just started coming out as demi/asexual.

“It feels rushed.” Maggie was only introduced this season and the two don’t get a lot of screen time, so yeah, it is rushed. I would love if we could have more relationships like Clarke and Lexa, with build up and tension and all that good stuff (without the bullet, fuck that shit), but we don’t always get that. Ya know what I think feels rushed, the Mon-el/Kara relationship, but you don’t see me bullshitting it do you?

“This is just another gay agenda being shoved down our throats” Like heterosexual story lines have been shoved down everyone’s throats for so long? Wanting shows and movies that showcase OUR story isn’t an agenda or fad, it’s about fucking time this is happening. We deserve to be able to turn on our tvs and see characters going through situations that we’ve dealt with, like coming out, worrying about our family’s reaction, struggling with our very identity.

“I’m not homophobic, but...” No, uh uh. That BUT negates anything else you’re going to say. You’re being homophobic, shut up.

“It’s supposed to be about Supergirl” You’re right, and the show Supergirl has always been about family. Alex is the most important person in Kara’s life so of course she’s going to be a big part of the show. And this show is about finding your own way, breaking out of the molds people put on you. Alex is finding something that makes her happy, she’s true to herself. Another common theme in this show.

#rant #supergirl #sanvers #maggie sawyer #alex danvers

44 notes · View notes

mrmallard · 7 years

Text

I’ve been a bit harsh on some things over the years. I wrote a particularly scathing attack on DD/LG stuff that I genuinely went too far with (even as I continue to inch away from kink stuff in general due to evolving tastes), I wrote a scathing Man of Steel calling it a punchy, grimdark piece of shit that earned me a death threat, and early in my blog’s history I wrote a fair few anti-SJW things that was more railing against the idea of over-sensitivity and cherrypicking words to attack someone rather than supporting the rights of people. I still have an issue with people cherrypicking words and throwing a person’s combined history at them to break them down, and while I still believe in the good that social justice blogging is aiming to do, I also spent more than enough time in that circle and I can’t tolerate the always-on, ever-upset atmosphere that drains the energy out of you one blog-post at a time.

This is about none of that. I’ve made my peace with those subjects. But there’s one thing that I haven’t budged on - If anything, I’ve gotten more hard-line about it as of late.

I cannot stand fandoms where people think it’s okay to attack each other, like feral children biting each other until someone draws blood. Fandoms have been going sour for me for a few years now, but it’s only recently that it’s been hitting a tipping point - thanks in most part to Sherlock and the continued campaign of rabid Johnlock shippers.

The following post will be my diatribe about rabid fandom and how they actively hurt their shows. Expect SuperWhoLock and Avatar: The Last Airbender shenanigans.

First of all, a disclaimer: I’m not against all fandoms, and while I’m going to be going after a gay ship, I’m not homophobic. Because surprise surprise, you can think someone is being a massive assholish baby about Johnlock and care about/support gay or queer issues. You can read anything you like into what I say, but if you’re going to break me down for being an ignorant redneck or what have you, please note that a harsh opinion on a fictional ship and its fanatical following isn’t tantamount to saying “gay people have enough good things, and they still want more? Ungrateful little sods.” I only call out rotten behavior because it is rotten. I’m also not against the ships themselves, moreso the idea that it is THE ship and you are OWED the ship and not getting the ship legitimized is DEGRADING and DECEITFUL. That is a trait that applies to ships of all orientations.

I’ve also been in a few fandoms in my day, and I still interact closely with some splinter groups of fans. I’m a big Evangelion fan, I read Questionable Content and have since I was 13 and I’ve been posting in a forum about said webcomic since 2012. So please - don’t take what I say as a sweeping critique of all fandoms, or all fans. Because there are fanbases that are polite or small enough not to be fucking crazy and legitimately harmful to the people around them.

So with my opening statements out of the way, let’s dive into the face-meat of this post - Sherlock is about as toxic as it was three years ago, and has managed to garner an even crazier conspiracy squad full of elitists, loudmouthed “enlightened” fans and ridiculous degrees of fan-wank. It’s gotten so bad that I hear Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss are getting pretty fed up with the constant hate.

Tell me - what is particularly sane or healthy about obsessing over a non-existing “true” finale of the show, the date of which was derived from taking letters from a show’s credits, breaking them into numerical equivalents and multiplying them to get a date and time? Shows don’t do that. Network shows definitely don’t do that, and very rarely do they disrupt their planned broadcasts - especially for a hardcore contingent of fans who have been harassing them for years. What makes you think that you, a driving force in crazy, is so deserving of a hidden fourth episode that the BBC has to fuck their other programming over to appease? You aren’t. No-one is. Maybe a crazy Netflix show could do that, since digital distribution is a lot less committal than network television, but it hasn’t happened yet and it wouldn’t happen on a broadcasting station as established as the BBC.

The very thought of a real-world conspiracy to “reward” shippers for their diligence and patience, made in the face of Moffat and Gatiss explicitly stating “IT’S NOT HAPPENING”, is nothing more than entitlement. You feel entitled to John Watson and Sherlock Holmes smooching, you want it to happen so badly that you would weave subtext and hidden clues out of thin air and screech when the actual showrunners shoot it down - I mean there’s nothing wrong when that context is shared and agreed upon among the fandom, but when you throw it in a producer’s face as “OBVIOUSLY canon” and try to destroy the show by mass-complaining through the BBC’s official complaint form because the showrunners didn’t legitimize it, that’s a massive fucking problem that stems from entitlement. They’re either wrong about their own creation, or they’re hiding something that only you and your friends, the true fans who rebel against the filthy Casuals™, would understand, and you rally behind them to say “It’s okay, the world is ready for Johnlock!”, to coax them to part with their precious love-baby and to show your support.

But there’s no fucking love-baby. There never was. It was a fan reaction that continues to spiral into insanity every day because you think these two are so right for each other that the thought of them not fucking is offensive to you.

The “original sin” that broke me out of fandom happened here on Tumblr, in 2013. You remember Avatar: The Last Airbender? Funnily enough, it predates Korra’s shipping wars by six years - and it continued to rage past the advent of Legend of Korra. It was still sparking in 2016.

Avatar was the first show I consciously shipped for, and I was a Kataanger. I liked the idea of Katara and Aang eventually pairing up. An opposing ship, Zutara - Zuko and Katara, the fans of which called themselves Zutarians - were the aggressive arch nemeses of the Kataang shippers. I took part in the shipping wars, but after a while, I just got sick of it. Moreso after I saw the entire show, where not only was Kataang the one that made it out alive - as I feel it should have - but the show could have survived without any pairings, because the group had a great number of platonic relationships. Take romance out, and you still have a pretty decent ragtag bunch of misfits. I still feel like Kataang was telegraphed from the first few episodes, and a ton of arguments I heard for Zutara to justify it at “canonical” - Zuko seeing Katara in Aang’s arms in the first episode and disliking Aang because he looked like he was hurting a pretty girl, telling Katara that he’d “save her from the pirates” in the Water Scroll episode (the pirates he hired to tail the Avatar, and the situation being that he was blackmailing her with a precious family heirloom to sell out the Avatar - really romantic, right?) - were self-righteous, taken out of context at best and smugly insufferable at worst. I still have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about Zutara.

But as a teenager - around 16 - I realized how fucking moronic it was to be actively angry about shipping. Both ships can have their highs and lows without being canonical, they can co-exist in peace. People don’t need to sling shit at each other to justify their love for their ship, because people are going to find different things romantic or sexy and it’s no-one’s business to tell them that their feelings are wrong. The sole idea behind shipping - love - is not an ideal that’s worth clawing out someone’s eyes over. I eventually stopped shipping Kataang for a while.

Fast forward to 2013 - at that point, I’m 17 going on 18. I’ve chilled the fuck out, I’m on tumblr, I’m ready to see some cute fucking fanart. I browse the tag for a couple weeks. It’s all good, the fanart is good.

Then a newcomer makes a post that mentions Zutara. People strain themselves not to get mad, and tell this person not to mention Zutara in the Kataang tag, because it’s an insult to their ship and it’s rude to mention it in the Kataang tag. Then the newcomer says “Alright, I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I just see some points that go towards Zutara or Kataang, and I’m not too fussed about which one is ‘correct’ or not.”

The tag FUCKING EXPLODES.

The newcomer is called a troll, Kataangers firebomb the Zutara tag for their perceived “attack” on Kataang, and hostilities are actively stoked by both sides. It calms down in three days. Because so much as mentioning another ship’s name in another ship’s tag - not putting it above the other ship, not trying to offend, just mentioning it - is an offence punishable by fire.

These fandom people, new fans and classic, grown-up fans like myself alike - even older fans in their twenties - are as fucking embarrassing, hostile and shitty as a bunch of tweens were back when the show was still on.

I commented on all that, and people sent me defensive messages about how it was alright to act like a petulant child on the internet, because it’s something they’re passionate about and insulting that behavior is insulting to them. I relent and chill the fuck out.

That entire scenario? It happened three separate times, always in its entirety.

The fans of a thing I like couldn’t leave something alone, like conflict was a fandom tradition and they were proud to take up some sword and shield to defend the honor of their favorite characters. The slightest slight against them was grounds for combat, for anyone with a heartbeat to break out the claws and slash at their “opponent” for invading their territory. The word “militaristic” is thrown around a fair bit in fandom, sometimes as a cover for “fascist”, but the Avatar fandom? Pre- and post-Korra? It felt like people were LARPing combat scenes by smooshing their hands on their keyboards, to cause the most distress.

And that brings me back to Sherlock.

Johnlockers, TJLC or whatever the acronym is - the most vile, blind, deaf fans of the bunch, but not every Johnlock shipper - can’t play nice with any other ship. Johnlock is the end-goal, and they will pursue the blood of Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss if they are not handed to them what they feel is rightfully deserved.

That is a sick way of thinking.

You can’t enjoy Johnlock for its own merits, revel in the material you are handed by other fans? The only option is for the pairing to become canonized, and the showrunners are in denial to the degree that they’re beaming you and your friends coded messages to say that it’s okay, that it’s going to be a thing, and that you can’t lose hope? If Johnlock isn’t canonized, the LGBT community has taken a shark-sized bite and will not be insulted by these BBC fascists who strung them along for so long?

I have a theory, and it’s a bit crazy. Maybe - just maybe - Mark Gatiss isn’t coding a secret gay relationship into a show because he’s gay himself, maybe him and Steven Moffat never intended for Sherlock to be this big maze about two men falling in love and bettering themselves through their love, and they aren’t being cracked down upon by the BBC. Maybe they actually mean it when they say “Johnlock isn’t canon”. Maybe they don’t have enough pull to broadcast a secret episode of their TV show on network television, and you are wasting your time by justifying the intentions of some people you have never met by the fiendish measures you wish that they would be able to take.

And maybe - just by the smallest sliver of a chance - that doesn’t invalidate Johnlock or any of the work you’ve put into it as a super-fan.

Like with Avatar, a pairing doesn’t have to be canon to be legitimate, to cause an effect or stir in a community or individual. Johnlock has already affected the real world, in good and bad ways. People have come together and become friends over the ship. You have the groundwork of a beautiful thing, a ship that has endured for over one hundred years in various shapes and sizes, a ship that has been canon in different continuities - you have the feelings Sherlock gives you towards these ships, and the ship has the clout of decades worth of interpretation. That’s great.

But that doesn’t make it canon in this universe, nor does it make it okay to ostracize and attack people who think maybe it’s not such a good idea to spend nigh-on five years obsessing over a bunch of fictional people. And maybe this unintended ship by the creators doesn’t need to be canonized. Maybe they don’t have to bend to your demands, and they have free reign to make the show that they want - and by exercising that right, they don’t intend by any measure to exploit your or lead you along, and mean no disrespect to the LGBT community.

Maybe Johnlock was a side-effect of Sherlock’s earlier days, or even planned to be canon once upon a time. And maybe the fanbase bloating to a truly sickening degree, flooding Tumblr with millions of uninspired, truly fanatical posts, turned them off the idea.

There’s a thousand things to say about Sherlock as a cultural phenomenon, or as an example of fanaticism affecting the course of a show’s run, and I don’t know any of it. All I know is this: that hardcore Johnlock shippers are absolutely bonkers, and for the past four years I have had no desire whatsoever to watch the monstrosity that spawned SuperWhoLock. I know that I actually kind of want to watch it now because of a multishipper friend who likes Johnlock, but doesn’t stand for any ship-bashing or malicious fan-wank garbage - niceness and kindness towards other fans and towards the show helping to disperse some of the garbage I always saw Sherlock as being encrusted with. And I know that not all Johnlock shippers are bad, the same way not all Zutara shippers are bad, despite my personal investment in it not being canon. Hell, the Kataang/Zutara conflict shouldn’t have lasted into the New Tens, period. We should have known better. I can see Johnlock shippers as being like any other decent fan of anything, provided that it hasn’t engulfed their life like an asbestos fire.

The idea behind shipping is love. In any way shape or form - familial love for the ships focused on “home”, on tight-knit families being formed. On romantic and erotic love, for those who live vicariously through their ships and swoon at the thought of them, or who want to get fucked by some fictional person/animal/object. Through platonic love, who want to see two friends have an unbreakable bond that keeps all involved parties anchored and strong. And I think it’s fucking deplorable that anyone would taint that feeling with hate. Whether you’re Johnlock or anti-Johnlock, or a militant Avatar shipper, or anyone who will belittle, attack or aim to hurt anyone for not conforming to their way of thinking. People like that are fucking horrendous, soul-sucking people. It’s people like that that makes shipping such an unattractive idea to a great deal of people.

My issue with shipping is the legitimate, mouth-frothing fanaticism exhibited by the truly invested, the hate and genuine desire to hurt other people for not believing in something and the sickening entitlement that so many ships are rife with. For a long time I just hated shipping, period - but I can live with shippers and the concept of shipping, as long as those people can act like composed human beings who don’t bay for blood. I have a specific dislike for SuperWhoLock as a whole, but Sherlock specifically - but given that the fans are okay people, I don’t have a beef with Johnlock as a concept or as a whole.

If the outcome of anything I just said boils your blood and makes you want to “stage an accident” for insulting you or your precious thing, by all means - come at me. But I repeat - the idea behind shipping is love. I fundamentally believe that for shipping as a whole, whether it be for the fictional love of two characters or a fan’s love of those characters interacting. That goes for Johnlock as much as it does any other ship. If my grievances truly offend a majority of Johnlock/TJLC people, then ask yourselves - how twisted do you have to be to take personal offence at being referred to as “about as toxic as it was three years ago, and has managed to garner an even crazier conspiracy squad full of elitists, loudmouthed “enlightened” fans and ridiculous degrees of fan-wank”? Does it hit that close to home that it feels like a personal attack, and does that initial summation invalidate anything I say afterwards by sheer virtue of existing?

Anything in this post could be wrong. I could be being too harsh. But if anything I said provides a flood of hate or a fucking bounty on my head for saying it, then you’re a part of the problem I just described. You are literally problematic.

1 note · View note

mrmichaelchadler · 6 years

Text

Twilight Turns Ten: What the Response to a Hit Franchise Tells Us About Who’s Allowed to be a Tastemaker

Ten years ago, the world was deep in the grip of a new film obsession called “Twilight,” released on November 21, 2008.

While the four-book series by Stephenie Meyer about the romance between a human teenager and a vampire was already extremely popular with its audience of teenage girls (and at times older women who were affectionately called “Twimoms”), the film opened it up to as-yet-untapped fans. With the good looks of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart gazing out from posters, the “Twilight” universe multiplied its fanbase tenfold.

Which also, naturally, opened up the fandom to as-yet unprecedented levels of hate. The book series had attracted some ire but mostly flown under the radar, whereas the worldwide, mainstream obsession with “Twilight” that followed the film's release attracted more haters than anyone could expect. Of course, this isn’t unusual for hit franchises. The success of "Star Wars," the Marvel universe, and Harry Potter have all taken their fair share of derision for A) not being “real” cinema and B) being grotesquely successful. But the way that “Twilight” is despised is uniquely gendered, with detractors mostly not dismissing it for its poor writing or filmmaking, but because of the teenage, largely female fans who propelled it past mere hit and into obsession.

“Twilight” was mostly criticized for one of two things: not being scary enough and not being sexy enough. It was almost forgotten that this film was aimed at tween-to-teenage girls, and was about young, female desire; crushes, lust and the fear of unprotected sex. It didn’t have to be horrific. It did exactly what it intended to: give teen girls someone to swoon over, a female lead to see themselves in, and a fantasy to get lost in that ultimately is safer than actually talking to a boy in real life.

The very concept of “Twilight” seemed to offend some critics. Manohla Dargis' review in the New York Times barely managed to contain its disregard, even discussing Bella’s inner monologue like so: “oh-so-confusing feelings, like, OMG he’s SO HOT!! Does he like ME?? Will he KILL me??? I don’t CARE!!! :)” It’s a barely concealed, vaguely misogynistic jab at Bella’s teenage feminine desire and the way that girls allegedly speak.

Empire’s Will Lawrence was more fair, but did call it “a sometimes girlie swirl of obsession”; Rafer Guzman said in Newsday that "Twilight" “seems best left to its impressionable teenage fans”; Edward Douglas for ShockTillYouDrop.com said it was “catering to the gooey-eyed fans of Meyer's novels and their unrealistic romantic expectations”; and many of the other reviews collated on Rotten Tomatoes mention the teenage fans disparagingly, with many others peppering in a "LOL." Only Roger Ebert appeared to discuss the fans without derision in his review, saying “'Twilight' will mesmerize its target audience, 16-year-old girls” and closing with “I understand who 'Twilight' appeals to, and it sure will.” His review shows that he understands that “Twilight” is not for him, but that he respects the people it is for.

“Twilight” started one of the highest-grossing franchises of all time; the books and the film series have made Stephenie Meyer millions. It ushered in a new era for fandom, with fans battling it out between themselves as members of Team Edward or Team Jacob. “Twilight” was, by all accounts, an incredibly fruitful and beloved franchise—a success. But throughout the reviews, and throughout popular opinion, the vitriol directed at those fans indicates that its fans are not only wrong to love “Twilight,” but that their obsession is somehow dangerous. Their love, essentially, means nothing—because they are brainless consumers powered only by their hormones, not valued tastemakers.

But it wasn’t just the reviewers who hated “Twilight.” Even star Kristen Stewart actively tried to separate herself from the series to become a more “serious” actress; Robert Pattinson often laughs about it in interviews, going as far as to say that were he not in “Twilight,” he would “mindlessly hate it.” At the time of the film’s release, there were entire communities dedicated to tearing apart “Twilight” as avidly, if not more so, than its perceived “obsessive” fans; anti-fans called it “Twatlight” and its fans “Twitards.” They read the books and watch the films, if only to go online and mock the series. They go as far as to produce their own fan fiction; such as New Moan: The First Book in the Twishite Saga, a parody rewrite of Twilight, and videos and memes online such as "Twilight" in 15 Minutes and Buffy vs Edward, putting obsessive effort into their hatred. Stephen King even called “Twilight” “tweenager porn,” further legitimizing the idea that teenage girls cannot be tastemakers. The public assumption that “Twilight is bad” served only to reinforce the idea that teenage girls are stupid and it’s OK to laugh at their interests. In the late 2000s, hatred of “Twilight” became a public performance of othering; you were either stupid for liking it, or smart for hating it. There was no in-between.

The fever surrounding “Twilight” was akin to the one surrounding Fifty Shades of Grey in 2012, as was the vitriolic hatred. The audience was slightly different; Grey, originally a Twilight fan fiction, appealed to an older audience. But both deal directly with the awakening of female desire and were feverishly adored by women. But instead of stepping away and saying, “this is not meant for me,” in both instances, detractors went public with their hatred.

This is not something seen in media for boys that is frivolous or full of plot holes or poorly written. Huge franchises like "Star Wars" or "The Avengers," which are also designed mostly for male teens, are perfectly acceptable media for adults to consume and pick apart critically. But when a new Marvel film is released, even when it is poorly reviewed, there is nothing near the level of public takedown that “Twilight” attracted. Mediocre, even bad, films for men and boys are allowed to be enjoyed as disposable entertainment or at least fade into obscurity.

That is not to say “Twilight” is perfect. Its lack of diversity, its absence of a sense of humor about itself, and its monochrome brooding make it both anachronistic and unwatchable for many. The film's treatment of female desire, its message being that abstinence is the only way to not get killed, is perhaps even dangerous for young women to watch. And Edward’s choice to attend high school as a man of over a hundred years old is nothing short of creepy, especially in a post-#MeToo era. But it offered something to a generation of teenage girls: an outlet for their burgeoning desires, a way of understanding the world, a heroine as plain and quiet as they felt. It seems strange that outlet is through a film that seems to be a rally cry for abstinence, but still. “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” despite being critically acclaimed, tells women that bad things will happen if they have sex with vampires, too.

That isn’t to say, either, that we can’t say we don’t like films aimed at women and girls. But we need to think of a few things first: Why do we hate it? Because other people love it? Because its content is twee, or romantic, or campy, or anything else associated with young women? Were this a film aimed at men but similarly poorly written with campy acting, would we feel so much hate? It isn’t that people hated “Twilight”—it’s the gendered nature and language of that hatred.

“Twilight” is but a blip on the cultural map now, but a punchline still. It serves as a lesson for how we treat female fans, and ten years on, we seem to be making some headway in allowing teen girls to be tastemakers. Their raw, relentless passion doesn’t mean they somehow haven’t dissected their decision to love something: fans can be as smart in their love as any cynic can be in their hate. It’s just a shame nobody realized that when the Twihards were being eviscerated on forums just for purely loving something.

from All Content https://ift.tt/2QXI3BD

0 notes

vinylbay777 · 7 years

Text

Ten Artists Who Got A Big Push From MTV's 'Total Request Live'

MTV is bringing back late 1990s phenomenon ‘Total Request Live’ next week. The new series will feature a rotating line-up of hosts, as well as social media correspondents, presenting a daily countdown of the hottest music videos as voted on by the viewers live. Ed Sheeran and Migos have been confirmed to perform on the first episode Monday (October 2), while Playboi Carti, Noah Cyrus and PRETTYMUCH will perform Tuesday.

‘Total Request Live,’ usually shortened to ‘TRL,’ was a staple of MTV’s programming line-up and its longest-running live show. Over its initial 11 year run, the show became a breeding ground for new artists and introduced the world to many artists that we still talk about today. It gave rise to new genres such as boy bands, bubblegum pop princesses and nu metal, and gave a renewed voice to pop punk. The show’s original host, Carson Daly, became one of the most recognizable voices in broadcasting.

With ‘TRL’ making a comeback, Vinyl Bay 777, Long Island’s music outlet, is taking a look back at some of the artists the show has made popular over its initial run. Here are 10 that pop and rock fans are sure to remember (or might like to forget).

1. Britney Spears: Spears is the quintessential ‘TRL’ success story. She premiered her very first music video, “Baby One More Time,” on the show in 1999, which immediately reached the number one spot on the countdown. From there, the show’s audience grew up with the singer. Over the show’s 11 year run, she had the most videos top the countdown of any female artist. Post-‘TRL,’ she continues to thrive on pop radio.

2. *NSYNC / Justin Timberlake: There were only two artists that could shut down Times Square when they appeared on ‘TRL’ and *NSYNC was one of them. Even though Top 40 radio really wasn’t playing their music on air (at least not in New York), the group was able to get so much popularity from their videos being on the show that they were able to break sales records with their second album. Not only did they make *NSYNC as a group famous, but they helped launch member Justin Timberlake’s solo career too. Each of his solo videos either made or topped the countdown.

3. Backstreet Boys: The only other artist that could shut down Times Square when they were in studio were the Backstreet Boys. They had the first ever number one video on the show and premiered countless others, many of which also hit number one. Unfortunately, they couldn’t do for Nick Carter’s solo career what they were able to for Justin Timberlake’s.

4. Christina Aguilera: Like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera grew up on ‘TRL.’ She premiered her first video on the show, though she didn’t hit number one until her second single premiered. The show’s audience witnessed Aguilera’s many transformations on the show, from sweet and innocent to “dirrty” to classic. And her success endured long after the show went off the air.

5. Blink-182: Pop punk was starting to make a comeback in the late 1990s-early 2000s with Blink-182 carrying on the torch from bands like Green Day and The Offspring. With catchy, fun tracks and creative music videos that poked fun at just about everyone, the band became huge on ‘TRL.’

6. Avril Lavigne: Lavigne became so popular on ‘TRL’ because she was marketed as the anti-pop princess. Her punk influenced pop was just rebellious enough for the show’s tween audience. Now she’s the biggest pop princess in Canada. Go figure.

7. Good Charlotte: Looking back at number one lists, it interesting just how much pop punk influenced the countdown in the early-mid 2000s. Sum 41 and My Chemical Romance both did extremely well on the show while Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy and New Found Glory all topped the countdown at least once. But Good Charlotte seemed to earn the most rock glory from the show. All of the singles from the band’s sophomore album topped the countdown multiple times and “The Anthem” even became song of the year for 2003. Twins Joel and Benji Madden became overnight celebrities and socialites from the popularity they earned on the show.

8. Eminem: How many white rappers do you know of that have proven their staying power more than Eminem. But when his work was introduced to the world on ‘TRL’ back in 2000, he was a relative unknown. After his music took hold and started topping the countdown, he gained a lot more ground in the industry; He started his own label, signed 50 Cent (who also did really well on ‘TRL’) and D12 (who he also performed with), and has won several Grammys including many for Best Rap Album and one for Album of the Year for ‘Recovery.’

9. Limp Bizkit: Besides bubblegum pop, ‘TRL’ also brought us nu metal. Korn were regulars on the countdown, consistently landing singles at number one. But none of the other nu metal bands got as much from being on the show as Limp Bizkit did. They didn’t spend much time at number one, but Fred Durst ended up being a “spokesmodel” for the genre. His backwards red cap, white t-shirt and cargo shorts became a fashion trend. He had the privilege of pretending to date Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. If it wasn’t for ‘TRL,’ he’d have become irrelevant far sooner.

10. Carson Daly: While not a musician, ‘TRL’ gave Carson Daly a career. When he became a VJ, he had already been working for years as a radio DJ in California. With the success and notoriety he received from being on ‘TRL’ and ‘MTV Live’ (‘TRL’s’ predecessor), he became recognizable nationwide. When he left MTV, he left with an NBC late night show. He currently still hosts the late night show and The Voice, is a correspondent for the Today Show and continues to host a daily radio show.

From 1998 until 2009, ‘Total Request Live’ played a large role in popular music. The show gave rise to big names like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera while shedding added light to artists just catching on like *NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys. Pop became an overwhelming force in music because of the show. Even its original host gained notoriety for his role as tastemaker. Whether the new series will be any good or not remains to be seen. However, ‘TRL’ will now get a renewed chance to influence a whole new generation of music fans.

---

Find music from ‘TRL’s’ brightest lights and more at Vinyl Bay 777, Long Island’s top new independent record shop. We have thousands of titles to choose from in a variety of genres, including pop, rock, R&B, Hip Hop and more. Browse our wide selection of new and used vinyl records, CDs, cassettes, music DVDs and memorabilia. Drop by our Plainview location or shop online at vinylbay777.com. With more titles being added to our selection all the time, you never know what you might find at Vinyl Bay 777.

#mtv #trl #total request live #music television

0 notes