#anyway. sorry for the vent. i don't mean to ruin people's fun from what they actually like from the manga | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imaeraser · 3 years

Note

Hello!

I really love your headcannons about Strawhats with Teen reader, that's why...

If you don't mind - Can I ask for Platonic Strawhats with Female! Teen reader that tend to be the quietest in the crew because of her shyness?

I also had and the next idea after this one- but I don't want to overwhelm you with it. Take care of yourself!

Have a nice day!

Sorry for the wait, here you go!

Luffy

He was intrigued by you

That’s why he forced you onto his ship. And then he realized that instead of having a convoluted backstory, you were shy

And quite honestly it was refreshing

Even though he likes being around Chopper and Usopp and be loud as heck, he likes spending time with you

You balance him out

And even though you’re not an adult, he’ll go to you for advice. This makes the rest of the crew confused (and low-key mad) because he doesn't want their advice

But most of the time he doesn’t take your advice anyways

I think that you two are close, seeing as he is endlessly extroverted and will break through your walls no matter how hard you try

Most of the time he leaves you to your own devices, but he will drag you to large parties and make you feel as welcome as possible

He does the same on the ship, but that was never a problem anyways because everyone likes you

Feels the need to protect you, not only because you’re a member of the crew, but also because you’re the youngest

10/10 I can see him giving you some of his food (only some)

Zoro

Ultimate big brother vibes

Likes to go to you for a quiet space because the ship can be loud

So he spends a lot of time with you… sleeping

He also half-asks questions to fill up the space and gets to know you pretty well

He also feels a need to protect you since he sees you as kinda weak (but almost everyone is weaker compared to him)

He will also feel the need to shield you from the craziness of the ship

Like sir, it’s nice that you care, but they can take care of themselves too you know?

Doesn't incorporate you into the crew since… he’s mostly sleeping. But he would try, and he would fail because they already like you

Cue him being shocked that he wasn’t your only friend on board, but to be fair he is sleeping most of the time and not watching you

He likes the calmness you bring to the ship, good for his meditation sessions (but I don't think you want to just sit there why he meditates)

I can see you having fun with him and Chopper, maybe play a board game

8/10 calm down sir, they can take care of themselves

Nami

She’s like the cool and fun older sister

She likes to dress you up in her old clothes, and then gush about how cute you look (no, not her super tiny bikinis)

She takes it onto herself to guide you through… whatever I guess

Also feels the need to protect you from dudes

I think that she gives good advice, but when combined with Robin the two of them give life-altering wisdom

You can go to her for anything from how to sew to how to manipulate people

Always gives you juice when the crew starts drinking

If the ship starts to get too rowdy she will shout at everyone to keep it down, and then turn to smile at you as if her actions were for you

She will share her tangerines with you

I think that she wants to protect you, but is frustrated at the fact that she can’t be as strong as the Monster trio (but everything works out in the end)

If you borrow money from her, she will reduce the interest (only by a little)

9/10 only downside is the interest (if you ever borrow money)

Usopp

He was high-key suspicious of you

To be fair he is suspicious of anyone and everything, and seeing as you were quiet he was on the edge

But after you saved his life, he gets all buddy-buddy (really Usopp? You got saved by a teenager)

I think the two of you would get to know each other when he’s working on a new invention, and you guys are having idle chatter

Now he tried to act like a cool older brother. Always ready to swoop in and talk about his “accomplishments”

He will do just about anything to make you laugh

I can see some crazy (but fun) times with him, Chopper, and Luffy

He would give bad advice, but occasionally he does have some piece of wisdom

He would try to protect you, but… yeah

He ends up feeling bad, and incompetent. But tell him that he was amazing or something and he’ll be fine

I think he would get frustrated when you beat him at a game of cards

10/10 he is just so fun to be around

Sanji

Also acts like an older brother

He tries to protect you from guys, saying that they’re all dogs (but then you point out that he’s a guy)

This also means he tries to limit your time around Zoro, saying that he’s a bad influence

Then the two start to fight and right as they pull you into it, Nami hits both of them and carries you off to eat or something

Gives you more food because you’re still growing

He is a surprisingly good listener and when he chimes in his advice are always good

And like all of the crew, he will try to protect you from danger (ma’am you are still a teen, why are you on this ship? Oh wait, Luffy…)

I said he acts like your older brother, but he also acts like a proud dad sometimes

Like sir, why are you crying? All they did was perform twinkle twinkle little star on the piano (Brook taught you)

He also tries to restrain his pervert tendencies around you, but when they inevitably happen he can’t look you in the eyes for several days (he also smokes more. It gets to a point where you have to confront him)

He also teaches you how to cook

8/10 he can get a little extra sometimes

Chopper

If things get too crazy on the ship, he likes to go to you

I feel like he would try to act like a big brother, but you would just pet him (sorry Chopper)

I can see Chopper trying to get you to socialize more with the crew. Just drags you out with his tiny Reindeer paws

I can see you confiding in him a lot because it’s kinda like venting to a stuffed animal (again, sorry Chopper)

He gives (almost) child-like advice, but it’s so simple and it always works

I think you would beat both him and Usopp at games, and then they would proceed to chase you around

He would try to protect you, but he also knows that you need to push yourself to get stronger, so he lets you fight some of your fights

When you end up hurt, he always makes sure to be extra vigilant with your care

I believe that you would also try to protect him, but his pride would end up hurt

I think you two would spend a lot of time in his office for a quiet place to read (and for him to do work)

He makes you help him organize stuff

10/10 a great duo

Robin

She is the kind older sister

She is such a good listener, and her advice would solve all of the world's problems

If things get crazy on the ship, you go to her. She has the presence of calm around her that just soothes you

I think she would also like to participate in dressing you up with Nami. That means you get to wear Nami’s old clothes and Robin’s old clothes

Robin always has an extra book and cup of tea reserved for you. Tea times are when you two like to ramble about anything and everything. This is also the place where you can vent and the both of you talk about your past

She would like to teach you about world history, while you listen and ask questions

She would try to teach you how to read one glyph, but if it’s too hard she stops (and low-key gets sad)

Robin also lets you help her garden. She enjoys having a person keep her company while she does the things that make her happy

She thinks that you are too adorable, and that also makes her go into a momma bear mode when she thinks you are in danger

She will yell at crew members, and she will annihilate the enemies

Robin sees you in a similar way to Chopper, so if you say something dirty or cuss, her image of you will be ruined

10/10 she is perfection

Franky

I see him as a weird uncle figure

He mostly hides in his workshop and creates weird but cool inventions while you watch him and ask what he is doing

I don’t see you two talking about important things, just you two having fun and making jokes

He is fun to watch, but when he tries to get you to participate— it’s even more fun

I can see Robin trying to shield you from him (hey, he says he’s a pervert)

He would share his cola with you (I can see some very fun crew bonding time when everyone gets cola and huddles around Franky’s new invention)

Franky is the opposite of shy, so sometimes it gets to be a bit too much

Like sir, please leave them alone for one second

I think that Franky and Usopp would try to teach you how to make things

And if you like to prank people… they’ve created a monster

Expect all three of you to get yelled at

8/10 pretty good, but he does say some stuff that you don’t get sometimes

Brook

Another weird uncle

When he asked to see your panties, both Robin and Nami slapped him so hard, he had flown off

He never asked again

I can see him joining in on the Robin history over tea, and add things in he knows from living during the period (dang he’s old)

He occasionally makes the tea you three drink

I think he would try to teach you how to use a sword, and then get yelled at so he teaches you to play instruments instead

He’s a surprisingly easy-going teacher, if you don’t practice he’s not mad. He just assumes you don't want to learn. That means he won’t teach you, which leads you to practice

He would let you peek inside of his skull and then jumpscare you. It works every time

Brook would tell you about what he did during the two-year time skip, all while you’re laughing at the fact they called him Satan

I think that being around you and Luffy would make him remember his days as a teen

Starts to get all weary like a dad (and just like Sanji)

7/10 rough start, but good ending

Jinbei

He is the dad (not like, is)

He is always concerned for your health, and whether you should be fighting or not

He told Luffy that it was ridiculous to bring a teen on board, but then he realized Luffy is only 19…

Jinbei is always there to make sure you feel included, and will often leave the crew’s festivities just to hang out with you

Honestly, his old man self likes the quiet you bring

If you ask him, he’ll tell you about Fishman history (also over Robin History Tea Times)

100% tries to protect you. I think that can make you frustrated at times, but he has saved you so you can’t be too mad

So he teaches you Fishman Karate (it gets Robin’s stamp of approval because there are no sharp objects)

Jinbei gives the best advice, again dad and old man

He’s able to see different perspectives and tell you the best course of action (that gets annoying when you just want him to take your side, but you have Nami and Robin for that)

Also is proud of you when you achieve something (part of the tears dad group)

10/10 every group needs a parent figure

387 notes · View notes

hoaqins-funk-house · 3 years

Text

Springtrap

Yandere

Male Reader

Part 1

Sitting in the black swivel chair, you spin once or twice before coming to a stop, grimacing at the feeling of sticky floors beneath your shoes. This place is brand new, how the hell are the floors sticky?

Actually, on that note, how is everything so covered in dust?

Sighing, your mindless fidgeting comes to a stop as the phone, just as dinky as the walls around you, begins to ring. You pick it up but put it back on the table, eyes drifting to the laptop and swing-out tablet. When you flip the former open, you note the four buttons, each relating to something you would have to reset when it comes time to. The latter has cameras that are scattered around, including a separate tab for vents. There’s an option to block off vents, which sends a chill up your spine as you glance to the big ass one at your side.

You decide to block that one off for now.

Humming, you familiarize yourself with the layout of the place, deciding to ignore the shadows that crept through your vision.

Your unenthused eyes scan and take in everything. The replicas (you had seen the originals, and they were permanently stained with both the smell and color of pizza sauce and lawsuits) that were in and around the office, as well as the little bobbleheads that sat on your desk of the animatronics, which were, for some reason, human? You boop the one who you assume to be Freddy, hearing the familiar squeak.

A small smile comes to your lips.

It was at this time that you realized you had completely ignored the man on the phone, but you couldn't really bring yourself to care.

The little drawings that were put up were authentic; not just anyone could recreate what a child's mind spits out and decides to draw.

That Freddy looks a bit fucked up.

The posters were cutely designed, and after getting the gist of what everything was and how everything works, you were on your phone the rest of the night.

When six strikes, you casually leave, giving the building a quick once over as you leave the doors, locking them behind you.

If every night is going to be like that, this is going to get boring.

He’s stuck.

This suit traps him like a rabid dog, eager to stay gripped onto his neck.

Still, things would be changing soon.

He can feel it.

He can feel it as a fresh breeze, the first in many years, hits his nostrils, sending a wave of euphoria through his system. The bloodied musk that hung in the dank room was not a pleasant one.

He can feel it as his body accepts this new host, more and more, until soon, quite soon, he will become one with his vessel.

Just as the animatronics before him did.

He ponders.

Why was he being freed from this prison of his own design?

Is he being taken somewhere?

…

Will there be a night guard to terrorize?

A grin takes to his broken lips as he ignores the pain and blood that comes from them. Oh, a night guard! Truly, that will be a sight!

He can't wait.

For now, however, he must play dead.

My, that voice that shouts with excitement from behind him…

It sounds so familiar.

"Bring the truck around!" He calls. "I found one, a real one! It's got the rips, the weird colors, and what I am going to assume is pizza sauce! Ohohoh man, I hit the jackpot with this one! Fazbear's Fright needed something, and here it is!"

His congratulatory tone made the man within the suit want to throw up. Finding him was nothing to be happy about; he is despicable, incapable of redemption, and an awful being.

And you know what?

That's just the way he likes it.

So to have someone happy to find him, especially for their own purposes?

He won't let it stand.

Yeah, if this place has a nightguard, he'll kill them without mercy before burning the entire thing to the ground.

Might as well make it fun for himself.

As light peeks through, clearly originating from a flashlight, he feels his pupils shrink, resisting the urge to let out a groan as his weak eyes ache from their decades of being in the dark.

"Whoahoh! This one looks gnarly!" The same man as before speaks, probably referencing the organs and tendons that were showing. "C'mon, let's get it up!"

His grin only grows as two people lift him onto a dolly, beginning the move.

Goodbye, saferoom.

And hello, Fazbear's Fright.

Humming, you walk into the building, skimming over the decorations once more before noticing something.

The papers that had fallen onto the ground from before, they had dirt on them. Not surprising on its own, but when they were in the shape of tire tracks?

You decide to follow them, using your memory of the cameras to guide you through the building, which was already rather linear anyway.

Entering the last area, you could see a rather dilapidated animatronic suit, with organs visible and its fur matted with blood. Real blood. The old Springbonnie suit was nearly green from how old and dirty it was.

Your eyebrows raise. "Is that guy just stupid or did he knowingly bring in a suit that has a dead body in it?"

Honestly, you didn't care. "Eh, whatever. It'll probably start moving when I start my shift… I've heard those rumors about the other locations." You turn, stretching, unaware of the eyes that followed you or the head that turned your way.

Damn, does he want to kill this one?

Well, he can think it over more soon. After the merge.

He grins again, feeling his uneven, gouged skin begin to flare with pain.

You exit the room fully, making your way back to the office with all the urgency of an ADHD-riddled person doing laundry.

Which is to say… not much.

You fall into the chair, cursing as the thin mesh cushion does nothing to protect your tailbone from the metal frame of the chair. The phone rings not a moment later, you picking it up and laying it on the table again, eager to ignore it just as you had done before. You stretch again, arms raising above your head as you begin to flip through cameras, finding the rabbit in the same spot it was in before.

You yawn.

Hopefully it starts moving soon, or else the entire reason you took this job would be unfulfilled.

You were bored, and you remembered this place from the times you had gone with your younger brother, who was now in his early twenties. You, however, were 28 years of age, with nothing better to do than 'investigate' the Fazbear's Fright that opened up. Still, if that rabbit has a corpse in it, it should make things more fun.

As you lazily flip through your cameras, you set it down and look to the side, seeing a rather dirty looking man with an eyepatch and fox ears. To his confusion, before he could lunge at you, you reach out and swipe a hand through his chest. You continue to swipe forwards and backwards, the incorporeal man stuck standing there until you leaned back.

"So, you're a ghost."

His mouth opens as if to retort, but he just gives up and leaps at you, you not even looking at him anymore. He closes his mouth halfway through the jump, and with an unsatisfied sigh, he disappears.

You continue flipping through the cameras, checking in on the rabbit a couple of times before shoving the tablet out of the way, opening the laptop to have it ready and sitting back in your chair.

You glance towards a shifting figure in front of the window, the hat and bear ears telling of who it is. He limps along, eventually falling beneath your view before seemingly phasing through the wall and leaping at you. You stare passively as he does so, him not completing the jump to instead stand in front of you, confused.

For shits and giggles, you wave your hand through his chest once or twice.

"Why… aren't you… scared?" He croaks, voice ruined from years of no use.

"Oh, was I supposed to be scared?" You genuinely ask. "Uh, sorry. If you do it again I promise I'll hyperventilate."

"Don't try to… lessen your survival chances…"

"Okay. My bad."

He sighs, and after annoyedly rubbing his face, he disappears.

You flip out your cameras once more, finding the screen obscured by static and a small error in the center. Lazily, you reset cams.

When your screen clears, you check the rabbit. He looks… strange. Like his body is evolving in front of your eyes.

To be honest, you don't give enough of a shit to watch a potentially world-changing discovery if it looks that gross. You aren't paid enough to, anyway.

At this pay grade, you even coming into the damn building is volunteer work.

You check your phone for the time, seeing a cool time of one in the morning.

"Aside from that science experiment gone wrong happening in the back room, it's still really damn boring."

However, it's still not boring enough to watch that transformation or whatever. That corpse (well, at this point, you kinda doubt it's dead) can do whatever the hell he wants with that suit. It's his body, not your business.

After another fifteen minutes of staring at a wall, you check the cameras to the sound of loud clicks and pops, now seeing a heavily scarred man with 1.5 rabbit ears in place of the suit. He takes one step out from his original spot, body heaving forward before he lifts himself up, looking up at the camera with a grin.

"Huh. That's new." You say, watching him jolt forward, continuing to take steps before relearning how to walk smoothly.

It only takes him a moment to rocket off.

"I doubt that's good." You mumble, beginning to flip through the cameras to follow him before playing a sound in the room behind him, making him pause. He turns, walking back with a confused expression.

Continuing to flip through cameras, you watch as the man, who you'll dub Rabbit Guy, wanders, seemingly having lost his focus. Hearing a sound to your left, you pay no heed to whoever it is, instead waggling your hand in what you would assume to be their torso.

"You're strange…" They say.

"Uh-huh. If you'd excuse me, I am currently working on keeping Rabbit Guy the hell away from me." Your voice is monotonous but sincere; you aren't trying to be sarcastic or mean, just trying to tell them the facts.

Glancing to the side, you see that it was a child, so you were waving your hand in his collar. "Oh, my bad. Does that… make you guys uncomfortable?" You ask, retracting your hand.

"No, we can't feel it."

"Huh." You blandly respond, playing the sounds to lead Rabbit Guy back to where he started, before resetting sounds as you weren't able to play them anymore.

It seems like Rabbit Guy is getting progressively more and more annoyed at being led back, if his attempts to move fast enough to avoid the sounds or block out his ears meant anything.

His body was responding to the sounds, not him.

It was then that he disappeared, so you check vents, finding him in one that led directly to the room beside your office.

You block it off, much to his annoyance, before yawning and sitting back as any thumps you hear from inside the vents come to a stop.

You find him standing in the room where he had entered the vent, irritated as he glares at the camera. Preemptively, you reset all, thankfully right as cams and sound go out.

Sighing, you lazily check through cameras, brows slightly furrowing as you look for him. He was completely gone, not in vents or in rooms. It really is unfortunate how many blind spots and shadowed areas there are.

When you hear the thumping of the vents, you search through them, only finding a stupid knick-knack laying on its side halfway in your sight.

Looking to your side, you peek into the vent, leaning down to see if anything was there. Your gaze meets Rabbit Guy's.

"Shit." You say, quickly switching cams over to this one and holding down the seal button.

Your eyes shift back to him, finding him way too close for comfort. As you lift your finger to let the gate close on the vent, the man (who was crouch walking) catches it, forcing it back up. You hear something grind that definitely shouldn't be grinding, and you have a feeling that that vent cover just might be broken.

Getting out of the vent, he stands over you, waiting for some sort of plea or… literally any response at all.

"So, you, uh… come here often?" You ask, leaving him genuinely at a loss.

"Wh- was that a pickup line?" His rough, baritone voice catches you slightly off-guard.

You weren't expecting something that was pretty much a zombie to have such a good voice, or a slight british accent for that matter. "Was it? Shit, more people've flirted with me than I thought."

"Really? That's all you can come up with before your death? I'd hate for those to be your final words." He lightly teases, leaning against the wall with a mean grin.

You look up at the ceiling with a vague smile, his eyes widening momentarily. "To be honest, of any place to die, I'd much rather have it be in a place where I know I'll reach the front pages than in some random alley."

His grin falls into a frown as he watches you turn to him, the smile still on your face. It feels strange.

He feels strange.

Why does a random night guard make him feel so…

So… comfortable?

You were calm, collected, not making any sudden moves or even attempting to exit the chair. Theoretically, the perfect prey, but not a satisfying kill.

If he even wants to kill you, that is.

“What’s your name?” He asks, watching as you spin to face him in your chair. You would be taller if you stood, but he would still have a few inches on you.

“Y/N. You?”

“I’m… William. Or, rather, I was, when I was well and truly human.”

“And now?” You ask.

“I don’t exactly have a name.”

“Can I still call you William, then? Well, if I live long enough to do so?” You ask, eyes moving up to meet his. Looking up at him like that… He wishes the hot feeling in the pit of his stomach would go away.

“...Fine.”

“I mean… are you going to kill me?” You ask, face not shifting as he glares down at you.

“I won’t kill you on the first night, you need to give me more entertainment.” At least, that’s what he told himself.

“Oh, so we’re both here for the same reason.” You blankly say, his face contorting from a glare to confusion once more.

“You’re here… for entertainment?” He slowly asks, answered by your nod.

“I’m certainly not here for the pay. This place gives like half of minimum wage but I can’t complain about it because the other part is supposed to come from tips. Somehow.”

“How do you even live?”

“Well, right now I’m on an paid leave due to some unfortunate deaths in my family. To be honest, I never really cared for any of them, but hey. I’ll take any chance for a break I can. Then I got bored.”

He huffs out a laugh. “So you went to another job on your break?”

“Listen, getting a month off leaves a man with little to do when capitalism has left me with no hobbies. Besides, this gives me a great excuse to continue avoiding people.”

His lips curl into an amused grin as he leans forward, lowering his head to be eye level with yours. "Well, you won't be avoiding me." He practically purrs, you averting your eyes at the tone he uses.

Why would he say it like that?!

His golden eyes follow you as you close the laptop's screen, enjoying your reaction. You…

He'll keep you around.

You're entertaining and friendly. Open, and… warm.

He wonders.

You're human, and fully alive. He's a revived corpse who merged with his vessel. You probably are very warm compared to him.

When he comes back to his senses, he notices you slowly raising out of your seat, hand outstretched towards him.

Well, might as well take the chance.

He grabs your wrist, looking down at you unimpressed. You quietly huff, falling back into your chair and forcing him to move away from the wall in order to not dislocate your wrist.

Well, his hypothesis is correct. You are very warm.

He feels the tightening in his gut, not wanting to let go but knowing that he will have to.

You, however, don't actually care either way. You begin your attempt again, this time with your left hand. Slowly raising out of your seat, you actually manage to stand fully up before he notices again, grabbing your other wrist.

"What are you even trying to do?" He asks, a light sneer on his lips.

"Well... uh, I was trying to… boop your nose? If you're bonded with one of the original suits, then I figured either you or Fredbear would have the sound effect."

He lets out a few short laughs, his sneer replaced with the same amused grin as before.

"I'm afraid neither of us have the sound effect. That only came about with the second and third generations of animatronics."

You hum, interested.

His eyes quickly scan over you, taking in your form. This position, practically holding you hostage… Needless to say, he didn't dislike it.

Still, he releases you as he catches you glancing at what he assumes to be a phone. Things have advanced quite far since he was trapped.

You turn it on quickly, checking the time. “Well, we have around an hour and a half before my shift ends, so…” Pausing, you check the time again. An hour and a half?

He steps closer, you glancing back up at him before leaning back as he leans forward, looming over you. “Tomorrow, you best make this more fun for me. I’ll greet you, but then I’ll head to the back. Try and stop me from getting in.”

“Uh, sure. Are you still planning on making the punishment for loss, uh, death?”

His eyes narrow in coordination with a widening grin. “That’s for me to know. You either figure it out, or you don’t. It all depends how well you play.” His gruff voice slightly echoes in the mostly empty building, you nodding in response.

“Oh, cool. Can I tell my brother about you?” You ask suddenly, him quirking a brow as he stares down at you, easily at least half a foot taller than you. He was always tall, but now that he’s in this new form, he grew to be somewhere from 6’6 to 6’8. You sit down once more, exacerbating the height difference.

“Feel free to. Just know that if he ever comes around here, he won’t be alive for very long.”

“I doubt he will. He’s always preferred Foxy the most because he has taste, but-”

“Taste? For liking that liability-strewn fox? You like him as well?”

“To be honest, I never really liked any of them more than the other. I was in my emo phase when I went to see them, so it was practically illegal for me to like anything. But Foxy had sharp teeth and a wicked lookin’ hook, so… I guess I did.”

He hums, clearly slightly annoyed.

“Are you jealous that I liked the fox more than the rabbit that isn’t even the same generation as you?”

“I really should kill you.” His irritated expression shows the truth to your statement.

“It’s okay, I’m willing to call Springbonnie my favorite.”

Now, William was confused. Your tone… you weren’t joking. You were being genuine about something as stupid as this? What is with you?

“You’re very confusing. I think you joke, and then I listen to your tone and you’re genuine. But still, I wouldn’t mind if you did so.”

“It’s not nearly as confusing as how time passes in this place. It’s been like ten minutes since I met you but the clock says like three or four hours have passed.”

“What? Really?” His brows furrow as he steps closer, finding another excuse to close the distance between you both as he leans over the chair, seeing you pointing to the screen. “How strange…”

“Yeah. It doesn’t seem like tomorrow’s hunt will last for six hours, then. Thankfully.” You sigh.

“What, do you not want to feel like my prey for six hours straight?” He grins, leaning over further until his arm rests on your shoulder.

You shiver. “Why do you have to say it like that?”

“Because it makes you react, obviously. It’s entertaining to watch you squirm from something as simple as... the tone of my voice.” Of course, in order to prove his point, he does exactly what he did before, lowering his voice a few pitches and upping the growliness of it.

In covering your eyes, you also cover your cheeks, which have gained a slight flush. “William, I am begging you. Please, please, please, stop talking like that.”

And, naturally progressing, he was left somewhat stunned by the sound of your pleading tone. There’s just something about it, especially as you say his name, that makes him want to…

...makes him want to chase, and capture, and possess forever.

You as his prized prey, and him as the hunter.

“I’ll use it when necessary.” He vaguely answers, watching your head droop.

“I’ll take what I can get.” You concede breathily.

He chuckles, hearing the chime of a bell, signifying 6 in the morning. "Well, I suppose I'll see you tomorrow, then. Don't keep me waiting."

"Asshole. I won't." You turn your head away from him, hiding the flush on your face, and stand up, stretching. "See ya, William."

He hums, eyes tracing your form as you stretch. It was a nice view, watching the button up shirt crease around your back as you stretch, clearly hinting at the muscle beneath. His eyes did drift lower once or twice, and that's how he figures out that damn, you have a really nice ass!

You begin to walk out, and he follows you with his eyes, watching you turn past the replica Freddy husk and unlock the door, exiting into the fresh morning. His eyelids droop, gaze slipping up as his lips curl into a wide grin.

“Y/N… I won’t kill you. Especially not when I’m presented with such an ample opportunity to make this into something so entertaining.”

Well…

Is that the only reason?

Of course, he knows it isn’t.

His grin falls, leaving him coldly leering at the aged panels above him before his sight shifts back to the room around him. As he exits the office, he glances at the stained and shaded glass of the door, not allowing much, if any, light in. He turns away, heading back to where he was originally.

As he walks, he lets his form shift, feeling his body grow to his previous monster rabbit self, the creaks of his metal joints loud in the silent building.

He ignores any shadows that creep in the edges of his vision, the specters traversing without sound.

“This is going to be… boring.” His voice, far rougher than before, comes out unfeeling and croaky. As he returns to his previous position, slouching over once more, he decides to use his old tactic to pass time; inflicting enough pain on himself to fall unconscious. It doesn’t matter if his dreams are infested with darkness, nor how much he suffers in them.

It was better than the boredom of sitting in one position with an unchanging environment.

He begins forcing his muscles to flex and strain within the suit and pull against the beams they have welded to, making him grit his teeth before the searing pain fades away, along with his vision.

Goodnight, Y/N.

“Yo.” You greet your brother, the man tiredly yawning as he ruffles his hair.

“Heya, Y/N. What’re you up so early for?”

“Well, I got bored and got a night shift job at this dinky little horror attraction opening up next week. I decided to tell you about what happened there before I head off to sleep.”

“You got bored during a break from your job so you… got another job?”

“Y’know, William said the same thing.” You say, your brother narrowing his eyes at you.

“A coworker?” He asks.

“Eh, not quite… he is the reason I stayed up to talk to you, though.”

He hums, walking around the couch you were splayed on with your shirt half unbuttoned.

“So, to begin my tale, you remember Freddy’s? The pizzeria with the animatronics?” You question.

“Yeah?”

“Well the horror place I went to is based off of that; it’s filled with replicas and a few actual things from the pizzerias of the past, but something came in tonight that was… different.”

“Which was?”

“An animatronic. One of the originals, Springbonnie. Granted, the suit was ripped to shit and covered in enough dirt to be green, but it was authentic. It even has the dead body! Well - not so dead body, but still visible.”

“Did you call the cops?” He asks, worried.

“Hell no! I’m not paid enough to give a shit about what could-or-could-not-be a dead body. Either way, he transformed into a human, which was rather odd, but-”

“Just to be clear, this rabbit had a dead body inside and transformed into a human, and you don’t question it?”

“No. Continuing on, he got into my office and then we talked for a bit, I learned that his name is William, time passed really weirdly, and then we struck a deal where I have to keep him out of my office or I'll maybe die.”

“You’re still going back there?! And ‘maybe die?!’”

“Yeah, he said the knowledge about whether or not I die from losing the hunt was ‘for him to know.’ I didn’t question it further.”

“You know, Y/N, sometimes it feels like I’m the older sibling. You’re fucking stupid.”

“I’m well aware.”

He leans over the couch, glaring down at you. “Then wisen up and quit that damn job.”

“I’m good. William is good company.”

“He threatened to kill you!”

“And? He hasn’t. Yet.”

“You infuriate me, gayboy.” He says, stepping away from the couch.

“Cool. I’ll sleep here for now, when you get back from work I’ll definitely be up.”

“Whatever.” He waves his hand at you, ignoring the middle finger pointing his direction from behind the couch’s back.

---

Part 2

also a lot of the stuff i write from now on may be male reader inserts lol

heres my springtrap design

here's the updated design lol

#springtrap #springtrap x reader #william afton #william afton x reader #afton #fnaf #fnaf x reader #fnaf 3 #yandere #yandere fnaf #yandere springtrap #five nights at freddy's #yandere x reader #x reader #male reader #male insert #reader insert #fnaf springtrap #gay

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savrenim · 3 years

Note

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

#my life #my writing #ifmlam

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magnusgoetia · 3 years

Text

Transcript of a Sinner’s Conversation: A Meeting with Caecus

--Begin (In Medias Res)--

Sinner: You kiddin'? Dyin' was the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Caecus: There’s nothing you left behind? No family to miss?

Sinner: My family? Fuck 'em, I'd ‘ave hired 'elp to kill 'em already if it meant they'd be dead-dead, and I wouldn't have to spend time wiv 'em down 'ere. It wouldn't be right for me to force this on my friends either, but they'll be 'ere in due time anyway. I can wait.

Caecus: So, you’re expecting your friends to join you here as well. The wait must be awfully lonely.

Sinner: Ah, not really. I’ve made friends while I’m ‘ere. The shit I can do ‘ere is like, fucking magic and with it I can make up for what I lack in a lot of different ways. Just wish I could remember how I ‘ad died.

Caecus: Maybe it’s better not to remember… Not all of us intended to be here, after all.

Sinner: No. No, perhaps it’s best not to remember. I quickly found out that it's not just evil folks that end up here, lots of good folks, plenty of weird ones too. I'm sensing you’re of the “gooder” ones, you radiate...well, it’s 'ard to describe, but I don't sense any hostility from you at the very least, even though you were born ‘ere.

Caecus: How amiable of you. But remember, a birth is just a new beginning of sorts. You couldn’t have been alone since you were… delivered to us.

Sinner: Ah, you’re a poetic type aren’t ya? Anyway, I’ve not made many friends but I do ‘ave a particular fondness for this one clown...me an' 'im seem to 'ave this weird connection wiv each other. Actually, he's more of a jester type, though rather embarrassingly his name escapes me...

Caecus: Are you, by chance, referring to an imp named Blocko?

Sinner: Yeah, don’t surprise me you know ‘im. He seems like the type to ‘ave a particular reputation.

Caecus: That he does, and yet a divine will connects us. I’m being led to believe your intriguing appearance has an even more… intriguing history.

Sinner: Riiiight...Well, you know what they say about skeletons and closets. Though I suppose I ‘ave nothing to hide ‘ere...Well, to put it simply, I was a broken kid. I never got help, and I did... unspeakable things to anyone who ‘ad wronged me—or simply didn't like.

Caecus: Even the purest of souls can be corrupted by another’s sins.

Sinner: Yeah...Well, it's not like I'll stop doin’ what I did while I was alive, with all that murder and hedonism. Though death has a way of humbling some people...In any case, the murders mostly stopped as I grew older. I seemed to have preferred to just traumatise people instead, ruin lives of the people I saw as bad or evil.

Caecus: Then you found a different punishment for those you had judged.

Sinner: I suppose so. A lot of it involved me spying on groups of people. I'd worm my way into the seedy societies that thought they were safe in their little circles and collect dirt on them. Really sick shit too by the way but don’t worry, the hypocrisy wasn’t lost on me either.

Caecus: Oh? You judged yourself a hypocrite yet continued along a path of self-appointed righteousness... Why?

Sinner: I don’t know, maybe a sense of catharsis? A lot of these were people who I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about killing or whatever. Sometimes it was more personal too, there were—still are people I am attached to up there that got hurt, and I took my revenge on them in their place.

Caecus: Ahh, how noble. Fighting for your friends.

Sinner: Yeah, there was this one particular bastard. Actually, there were a few…but…eh, nevermind…this one particular guy who was essentially lying to one of these “friends” and caused them a psychotic breakdown. I didn’t take action right away, but I did end up killing ‘im. Didn’t even bother hiding the fact it was a murder.

Caecus: What made you wait?

Sinner: Money, mostly. It makes the world up there spin, and you need a lot of it to get anything done, right? Well, I ‘ad to wait until I ‘ad enough money to fly to the states on top of all that shit involved in immigratin’. When I settled in, that’s when I made my move on a buncha grudges. This guy was just the first. Moving to the states made my life a lot easier in some ways. Was a lot easier to sleep when I took care of the grudges too.

Caecus: Oh, wow. You must have had remarkable resolve to keep a “grudge” that long… Tell me, did all of them truly deserve it?

Sinner: No, most didn’t, but I am…was, an angry person. I found I was very much capable of venting my anger, to put it mildly, and I was much too young when I had...shall we say...discovered it.

Caecus: Young minds are impressionable.

Sinner: Right, and the fact that I was generally good at getting away with it made me feel just that little bit better about it.

Caecus: So, you exploited that validation to continue justifying your actions. Most sinners in your position never reach awareness...

Sinner: Yeah? I’ll take that as a compliment, but I was totally emotionally disconnected when committing my crimes. Afterwards I pretty much always dealt with conflict. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch. Though I had largely stopped my ways. I’m ‘aving way too much fun down ‘ere, and even though I won’t drag ‘em down here with me, I’d love to have my friends join me eventually.

Caecus: Would they be pleased being here, embrace this existence like you have?

Sinner: I dunno, some of them have a hard enough time as it is with one existence, I doubt they’ll be too happy to find out there’s another waitin’ for ‘em. The others I’d imagine would be quite surprised all the same, being atheists and such, but I reckon they’d come to like it.

Caecus: An existence you cannot escape is itself a prison. Albeit, choosing to enjoy it in spite of that perspective is a marvelous thing. If you could imagine them in your presence, what would you do?

Sinner: Again, I dunno. It’s hard to tell when they’re not here yet but I am somewhat interested in what’ll end up happening should they get here. I dunno if I’ll be able to tell if it’s them even.

Caecus: And how do you dare to enjoy existence now?

Sinner: Well, I’ve been doing everything I’ve ever wanted to do but could never do in life amongst other things. It’s kinda embarrassing, but I played a bunch of video games, so I miss those quite a bit. I’ve found plenty of ways to fill that void though. Some of your movies are pretty sick down ‘ere, and importing goods from the other rings to ‘ere means I don’t miss out…mostly, on their fun too. I just wish I could explore the other rings; I don’t get why us sinners can’t.

Caecus: Decretum is often difficult to understand. However, it would seem a blessing that you’ve been placed with the multifarious company of the pride ring.

Sinner: True enough, whatever that means. There’s a lot of strip clubs, greedy businesses and shit, stuff you think you’d only find in the other rings. Though I think I probably would’ve ended up in wrath if we landed in the rings based on our sins.

Caecus: Most catechisms view wrath as an excessive anger. You strike me as having more control than the average sinner.

Sinner: A lot of people on the surface woulda said the same too, I was and I suppose still am really good at keeping it in check, well, good enough to not make it obvious anyway. Though it’s been a lot tougher down here.

Caecus: This is a realm of collective temptation, after all.

Sinner: My only judge here is myself and perhaps my peers if I let them. I still kill down here, but it’s been in self-defence. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone out of anger yet but let’s just say I’d feel sorry for the poor sod who happened to piss me off on a bad day.

Caecus: You’ve always been your own judge. I suspect the lack of good comparisons for your behavior here has coaxed you further.

Sinner: Actually, I could tell you about the first person I “killed” down here. It was soon after I woke up. I suppose this guy thought it’d be easy—fresh sinner, just in time to be another tally mark on some statistic.

Caecus: A second death, the lake of fire…

Sinner: Uh...yeah, I reacted on instinct and it musta been a sort of “kiss of death” type shit. I only touched the dude with my hand, and he just kinda…shrivelled up and died. You know…like when a cartoon character eats a lemo—ah sorry, you can’t watch TV.

Caecus: Ah, yes… a shrivelling death is nevertheless descriptive.

Sinner: Anyway, I have a bunch of other powers too but that one I’m most afraid of you know? I can drop the ambient temperature of an area so shit gets cold, have some form of telekinesis and a buncha other stuff, like I have some kinda control over this weird glowy energy, it’s how I have my eyes, which are purely for show, I don’t need them since I can see perfectly fine without ‘em...not that you’d know I even have ‘em.

Caecus: I’m aware you observe our world, in a traditional sense. My observations are just a bit more… unorthodox. And I feel as if your fear is not from a lack of understanding.

Sinner: Well I seem to have it under control, but I’m afraid in a moment of weakness I might react without thinking, you know? I’ve not had it happen yet, but it would be so easy when flippin’ out that I just give ‘em the ol’ touch of death.

Caecus: Even a king’s heart is just a stream of water to the hand of… fate.

Sinner: Gonna be honest, I haven’t the foggiest of what you just said. Though if I’m being honest myself, I couldn’t care less if it was someone I didn’t know anyway. Only really care about my friends and such. You seem pretty neat yourself.

Caecus: The impression is mutual. It’s not often that I’m seen as anything other than senseless and intimidating. I don’t find it unwarranted, granted; my appearance is as disconcerting as my psyche.

Sinner: How do you even know what you look like? It’s not like you can just look into a mirror.

Caecus: I was presented with a vision soon before I arrived, my last blessing I suppose… Regardless, my rebirth is a tale for another time. I’ve relished in your company long enough, and I must answer my calling. I’m sure our paths will converge again.

Sinner: Hey, I hope so too...uh....

Caecus: Please, call me Caecus.

Sinner: Well, it’s only polite to give you my name too. I go by many names here, but I am quite fond of “Mr. Death” as silly as it sounds.

Caecus: Silly, yes, but very becoming of you. A pleasure, Mr. Death.

Mr. Death:Well, don’t let me keep you. I’d like to see you again sometime, Caecus. I’ll take my leave.

Caecus: All in due time.

--End--

#hazbin hotel oc #helluva boss #helluva boss oc #hazbin hotel #transcript #Mr. Death #caecus #blocko #story

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rpdwong · 5 years

Note

I am so annoyed at going to Ada Wong tag and seeing Ada and Aeon hate too it's no use to block tags because people are just gonna tag any tag possible, look i don't wanna sound shady but cl-n has no basis and is not even a ship (like it has no content) and Aeon always has been there but all of this makes me annoyed at the fandom I know theres ships but why tag Ada? after all these years Leon still loves her its explicit why all this hate on Ada? I am findin this very depressin and weird... idk

ughn i just wanna enjoy my tag and its hard to be okay with all this hate specially when they compare with a ship thats a NOtp idk... It is just being upsetting seeing Ada receiving all this hate all the time since the re2 remake has been released i hope we get even more aeon its the only ship w leon that exists but yet i feel people are being so blinded and biased Ada is not 1% of what they made in their delusional and mistaken heads ANYWAY sorry i know im venting in ur blog and its not fair

Character hate is definitely one of those things I do not enjoy about fandom. I completely agree with what you say, anon, and I’m sorry this is making your fandom experience less enjoyable. In my opinion, this is one of the problems Tumblr has with its tag system, instead of letting people create communities. You can get hate there too, but it’s more difficult to join a community to spread hate than just tagging your post about hating a character.

I don’t think having more or less and/or canon content makes a ship better or more valid, and Leon/Claire fans have enough interactions to warrant it and the general idea that they’re good friends, so by all means go forth, ship it and enjoy it. But that definitely shouldn’t include hating on Ada (I’m not saying all Cleon fans do this, of course! Sadly the Ada hate comes every corner, but it happens some times when it involves shipping). I’ll admit I didn’t use Tumblr actively before creating this blog, so I was just lurking in my fandom tags - but it seems pretty clear that the fandom etiquette says you should NOT tag your hate. It’s ok to dislike something and rant about it in your own blog, but don’t tag it. It ruins everyone’s time in fandom and it seems clear that kind of people are just looking for a fight.

As you say, most of Ada hate comes from people’s biased vision of what Ada is, sometimes ignoring what the canon has actually established. Again: this doesn’t mean you have to like her. Everyone has their own cup of teas, and maybe the type of character Ada is isn’t yours (or Ada/Leon as a pairing). But investing time on hating things is such a waste of time, I can’t really understand why people do it. This is especially sad here, because Resident Evil fandom is kind of small and when I see something like this come up, it just gives me war flashbacks from other bigger fandoms (like Star Wars and Reylo, for example).

That being said, this is my two cents on how to avoid all the drama and have a good time in fandom: instead of searching the tag, try to follow blogs that share positive Ada content and support Ada/Leon. Muting tags (like cleon and/or leon x claire, if you’re seeing a lot of hate on those) should also do the trick. And finally: block people. If you see they’re spamming the tag, just block them. I know some people feel bad about doing it when they’ve never interacted with said users, but seriously, this is the internet and we don’t owe anyone our time.

I think RE2make has ignited a new spark to the fandom, and definitely to the Ada/Leon ship (I noticed it in how much more content there is in the aeon tag, all my Ada/Leon fics in AO3 are receiving WAY more kudos/comments than ever, and we’re getting more fics as well!). Don’t worry about venting, anon, and I hope I could help you a little bit. Fandom is about having fun and enjoying what you like, so try focusing on that and forget about haters. They’re not worth your time.

Also: let’s spread all the Ada Wong love, because our girl deserves it

#ask #ada wong #Anonymous

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artificialqueens · 7 years

Text

New Man Pt. 5 // Don't Leave (Biadore) - Fucking Awful.

[A/N: We’re almost done! Finally time for some payoff. This is a long one, not sorry about it. Song is Don’t Leave by Snakehips and MØ, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQGcfudKBBs Enjoy!]

Danny finished sound check later than he’d hoped, with just a few minutes before the club’s doors opened and an hour until the show. Thank God I’m not getting into drag tonight. He had been performing more and more frequently as Danny, undefined by gender or need to wear specific clothes, makeup or wigs unless he felt like it. It was part of the liberation of moving to Seattle, and in this moment he was especially glad because it made his prep time pretty short.

Danny thanked the band and the sound engineers as he dipped backstage to get ready. He kept on his black jeans and Docs, slipping a red-and-black flannel over a black mesh crop top and leaving it half buttoned. He considered putting on one of his wigs – his long witchy black one, or maybe even the bright red mermaid wig as a throwback – but decided against it. Already self-conscious and nervous, a wig would just give him one more thing to be anxious about. As if I don’t have enough to freak out about tonight.

“Fuck, man.” Danny sat in front of the mirror, catching a glimpse of himself for the first time all day. He had black bags under his eyes, evidence of insomnia from the night before. After the Brunch-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, it had been an exhausting afternoon: Screaming at Shane over the phone (and later calling to apologize, only to get voicemail), rambling like a crazy person to Jinkx and Ben, panicking over his text messages to Roy, crying to his mom for a few hours, venting to Alaska, apologizing to the Seattle crew, and watching Trainwreck 3 times high with Johnny to get his mind off of everything.

Still, after all of that, he couldn’t sleep. Even though Roy had said he would come to the show, Danny was to worried and wired to shut his mind off. He pulled his phone out to read the texts for the millionth time:

The first message: If you want me there, I’m there.

Followed immediately by a second: You’re right, we have a lot to talk about. But I won’t let you down.

And the third and final, coming a few hours later, that freaked Danny out: I’m so sorry, kid.

What does he mean, I’m sorry? What’s he going to say? It was that last text that played on a loop every time Danny closed his eyes, kept him awake. The way he saw it, Roy didn’t have anything to apologize for. Yes, he had been an idiot not to tell Danny about his breakup – especially if he was going to try to make out with him. And yes, he shouldn’t have distanced himself from Danny since the move. Of course, he never should’ve started dating that piece of shit in the first place…

Ok, so maybe Roy did have some things to be sorry about. But still, that text just didn’t sit right with Danny. Getting increasingly anxious, he decided to smoke a quick bowl before he dove into his makeup. He packed a small-ish bowl and as he was about to light it –

“You know smoking is bad for your voice, Daniel.”

What in the fuck? Danny whipped around, shocked to hear that accent. “Shane?!” He threw down the pipe and ran over to Australian, nearly tackle-hugging him at full sprint.

“Someone has to be here to keep you in line. How are you, babe?” Shane sat them back by the makeup table. “Besides the obvious.”

Shit. Danny didn’t realize how bad the bags under his eyes were. “I know, I was just about to cover them up. I look like a fucking raccoon.”

“Not that, you idiot. Look, I know what’s going on. After you called me screaming like a deranged banshee yesterday –“

“I’m really sorry about that, I tried to call you –“

“Hush. After you called me, did you really think I wasn’t going to turn around and call Roy? Honestly, you both can be so dim sometimes. Anyways, I called him and he filled me in on what happened in the last few days.”

Danny sank. “Oh my god, you must think I’m such a shitty person. I swear Shane, I didn’t know what was going on. I never would’ve said any of that if I didn’t…I just…you know how much cheating kills me…and I thought he was – “ He couldn’t get a coherent thought out, so it was time to just ramble “ – He made me feel like I was a whore or something, and I guess I didn’t realize I was mad that he has been avoiding me for so long, and it all came out at once, and I said really awful things to him, things I knew would hurt him as much as I was hurting, and I had been listening to Adele, and – “

“Deep breath pussyface, you’ve got a show to do.” Shane cut him off. “And actually it’s the exact opposite. Roy is pinning it all on himself. You two really are a match.”

At that, Danny cracked a smile for half a second – before panicking again. “No! Wait it’s not his fault. I mean, yeah he did some fucked up shit that he should definitely explain, but then he just walked away and left without a fight.”

“Danny, what else could he have done in that situation? He was at a table full of your friends, getting put on blast for his relationship and being called a heartless – “

“Ok how was I supposed to know what” – Danny tried to defend himself, but he was quickly blocked.

“Hey, I’m not blaming you. Not at all, babe. You’re both idiots, but that isn’t news to me.” Danny was a little offended, but he also knew that (at least in this case) Shane was right.

He continued. “You both reacted the way I knew you would – that you knew you would, if we’re being honest.”

Again, Shane was on the money. In his endless analysis of yesterday’s events, Danny had always known that blowing up at brunch would just make Roy retreat into himself. While Bianca Del Rio was always ready for a fight, if you managed to really cut Roy Haylock he’d need to lick his wounds. It was the same way Roy should’ve thought about how Danny would react to cheating…

“But you can’t keep doing this, dancing around things. If this weekend is any indication, you’re both going to kill each other if you can’t just come clean and figure out how to be together. I’ve heard you both say a million times how in love you are with the other one – you owe it to yourselves to say it to each other for once.”

Fuck, when did he get so smart? “Damn, Shane.”

He looked pleased with himself. “I had a whole 2 hour plane ride to think of that.” Danny had to laugh a bit at Shane’s sudden smugness.

“There’s that smile I love!” Shane went in for a hug. “Ok, so now the fun part.” Shane clapped his hands together in excitement, distinctly looking like a blonde twink Mary Poppins. “What are we going to do about this? What’s the big rom-com move that’s going to put all of this back on track?”

“Oh god, don’t ruin it by calling it a rom-com move.” Danny shoved him off, lovingly. “I have something in mind, but I don’t know if he’s going to feel it. I don’t even know if he wants to fix it, his response to coming to the show was so weird.”

Shane looked confused. “What do you mean? I was talking to him when he texted you back” – Danny shot him a raised eyebrow – “and I thought his response was really sweet.”

Danny grabbed his phone and pulled up the texts to show him. “You thought ‘I’m so sorry, kid.’ was a sweet response? Does that mean something different in Australia?”

“What? Let me see that.” Shane grabbed for the phone, and let out an exasperated sign when he finished reading. “Ugh, that little troll sent that after we all left –“

“We all?”

“Me, Jinkx and Dela, yeah. When we hung up –“

“A full fucking army - What was going on yesterday?”

“Oh please, like you both don’t need as many people as possible to help you triage this situation. How many phone calls did you make yesterday after we talked?” Danny was silent, busted. He made a doe-eyed face at Shane, one he knew always made him laugh at how transparent it was.

“Uh huh, that’s what I thought.”

“Ok whatever. The point is, is he going to forgive me for what I said? Because if not –“

“Danny, I think that man would forgive you anything. You could murder one of his dogs, he’d just buy a knew one and name it Adore. You just need to nut up and show him you’d do the same. Show him you want him to stay, and fight for this the way you want him to.”

Danny cracked a smile. “That I can do.”

—

Shane sat with him in the dressing room, helping Danny stay calm and get ready. He did keep trying to talk Danny into all kinds of crazy makeup and outfits for the night, but Danny stood firm in his choice – he had to feel 100% himself tonight. The only way this was going to work was if he was honest and vulnerable, no face or fashion for armor. He kept his outfit, throwing on a quick smoky eye and dark bruja lip and keeping his shoulder-length hair down.

When the club manager came in to give a 15-minute warning, Shane left to go join Roy, Jinkx, Ben and Johnny in the VIP balcony. He gave one final bear hug, moving in for a cheek kiss before Danny could stop him from leaving a lip print.

“Even if you just wear Chapstik, I don’t want that shit all over me.” Danny hugged him tighter.

“Very funny, you cunt. Now go get your man.”

—

Once the show started, Danny was finally able to settle his nerves. If there was one thing he could count on, it was that being on stage would feel like home. In his element, he was invincible.

Thank God they’re in the balcony, I just wish they’d turn down those fucking lights. Danny could easily spot Roy at the front of the second level, but the stage lights were just bright enough to block a real view of his face. He tried to divide his attention evenly between the roughly 100 people packed into the intimate venue, but his focus kept veering back to the balcony. He hoped Roy was smiling, dancing, laughing – anything that involved enjoying himself and not hating Danny.

He had some cause for concern here, mostly because of the songs he was doing that night. It hadn’t occurred to him while running the set list, but Danny might be sending a mixed message: he did “I Can’t Love You,” “ICU,” and “Save Your Breath” from the last album, but at least those were standbys that (he hoped) Roy remembered were a standard part of his show now. He had also worked “I Adore You” back into rotation, and was really proud of his covers of “Million Reasons” and “Perfect Illusion” – all together, they kind of said the opposite of what he wanted to put out there tonight.

So when it came time to close, Danny knew he needed to make a show out of it. Let’s go, Noriega. Give him what he came for. His heart was beating in overdrive, half nerves and half performance.

“Alright guys, thanks so much for coming out tonight. I love all you and this city so goddamn much, and the fact that you come to see me as Danny as much as you come to Adore is so amazing. I really appreciate each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart.” He paused to take in the cheers, electrified by the energy of the crowd.

“Because I feel so comfortable with you guys, I want to try something new. There’s a cover I’ve been working on for – ok, if I’m being real the last 12 hours, but I’m really feeling it right now and I want to share it with you. Is that something you guys would be into?” Again, the crowds cheered and Danny felt empowered. I really am fucking Tinkerbell.

“Alright, fuck yeah! First, can we drop the lights real quick?” The lighting tech shut off the majority of the lights on the stage, save for a spotlight on Danny. “Oh shit, no not that. Full lights, just a little – dimmer? I wanna see…everyone.” Danny looked pointedly towards where he knew Roy was standing, hoping understood that he just wanted to see him.

After a minute or so of Danny awkwardly vamping, the crew got it. “Clap for the tech team, everybody. God knows they’re the real heroes here. Ok…ok so I better get on with it.”

He was starting to get nervous again, but refused to let it get the best of him. Just like he’d rehearsed, Danny sauntered over to the drummer and pulled up a second stool to sit down. He needed to set the pace and kick it off.

“So this song is the fucking jam, but just yesterday it started to really mean something to me. And since I’m not always the best at expressing my feelings the right way, I think this song might help me out. So, um, let’s do it.”

After a few whoops and hollers, the audience took Danny’s cue to be silent. He put his foot on the pedal to the kick drum, and started pounding a steady rhythm. After a few beats to set the pace, he started to sing:

You know me, now and then I’m a mess Please don’t hold that against me

Danny had closed his eyes, but he could hear the audience cheer in recognition of the Snakehips track. He kept pounding the rhythm, waiting for them to die down again before continuing:

I’m a girl with a temper and heat I know I can be crazy

Pausing again for effect, Danny looked up and opened his eyes to finally see the face he’d searched for all night looking back at him. Roy’s gaze was locked on his, his expression unreadable.

Danny’s monologue ran as he held the pause – You’re only 4 bars in, keep going. He broke the stare to stand up and cue the drummer, who did a quick roll-off to start the rest of the band and the synth track.

But I’m not just a fuck up, I’m the fuck up you need I don’t see nobody when you focus on me Perfectly imperfect, yeah I hope that you see, tell me you’ll see ‘Cuz I know that you’ve been thinking ‘bout it

He could feel the performance energy building inside of him again, nerves falling away. This is going to work, Danny reassured himself as he launched into the crashing chorus:

Don’t leave, shut your mind off and let your heart breathe You don’t need to be worried I may not ever get my shit together But ain’t nobody gonna love you better

He moved around the stage, trying to get the best possible view of Roy without looking totally manic. No stranger to the stage, Danny knew he needed to let the song build and continued the chorus:

Don’t go, what we have here is irreplaceable No I won’t trade this for nothing I may not ever get my shit together But ain’t nobody gonna love you better than me

As Danny floated out of the chorus, he was able to see just enough of Roy’s face to catch a sad half smile. Fuck, that’s not what I want. He started to focus more of his energy towards Roy, using the only thing he felt he could – music – to fight for him:

In a room full of people, with you I don’t see anybody else When we fight and you’re right, so sorry I make it just so difficult

Danny made a spur of the moment choice to change some words, hoping it would make the message come through more clearly. He locked eyes into Roy’s face just in time for:

But you’re not just the fuck up, you’re the fuck up I love We ain’t like nobody else, tell me so what Perfectly imperfect, yeah baby that’s us, baby that’s us ‘Cuz I know that you’ve been thinking ‘bout it

Moving back into the chorus, this time with a bit more pleading, Danny started to feel uneasy. The song was ending, he had no idea if it was having the desired effect, and he just needed to keep moving. Taking advantage of the stage’s two-tiered setup – admittedly odd for a smallish club like this one – he cantered up the ramp to take an elevated position behind the band.

Well, fuck me – that was all Danny could think once he looked up and out. In that moment, the universe somehow aligned into a perfect goddamn moment and Danny was in a music video. The lighting tech must’ve seen what he was doing and, knowing the song, dropped all the lights around him so that he was basically basking in soft spotlight as he hit the song bridge:

Sitting in the living room, you look at me, I stare at you See the doubt, but see the love I have and it is all for you

The focused lights made it so that he could see clear through to Roy, finally sustaining the connection he’d been looking for all night. Time to sell it, bitch.

Let me wrap myself around you, baby Let me tell you you are everything you are Losing my words, I don’t know where to start

Roy was starting to smile, in earnest now, and Danny couldn’t help but do the same. He was feeling electrified again, but not by the crowd this time. It was Roy, all Roy, always Roy. His felt his heart swelling in his chest, like the fucking Grinch except it was going to explode.

Needing to cut out every possible distraction or barrier that could block him from talking directly to Roy in this moment, Danny yanked out his earpiece as he threw himself into the final crescendo of the song:

But baby, don’t leave me Shut your mind off and let your heart hear me I won’t trade this for nothing

Danny had never felt this energy onstage before, the combination of the audience and Roy giving him all kinds of life. Hitting the final note, he a little was thankful for all the cellphone cameras in the audience to catch this:

I may not ever get my shit together, but ain’t nobody gonna love you better

It was already a long note, but Danny belted out the last word for a good 12 extra beats before doubling over to take a deep breath. He could vaguely hear Shane yelling out a prolonged “Yass!” as he jumped breathlessly back into the final chorus.

As the song finished, the audience erupted in applause. “So, didya like it?” Danny asked coyly into the mic while being nearly drowned out by the cheers. “Thank you guys so much, thank you so- “

He looked up into the balcony to see an empty space where Roy had been, their friends looking around in confusion. In a split second Danny was back in a panic, standing slack-jawed on on stage still holding a microphone but saying nothing. Shane saw him and shrugged, mouthing “I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

The flash from a camera brought Danny back to reality, realizing he needed to get off stage and fucking find Roy. “Sorry about that guys, guess I lost the oxygen to my brain for a sec. Thank you so much for coming, you’re all beautiful. Love you.” He blew a kiss and handed the microphone off to the bass player as he ran off stage.

Danny didn’t make it more than 30 steps to his dressing room before he was once again pinned up against a wall, feeling Roy’s lips crashing down on his. And again he smiled underneath the kiss, but this time he did not break it.

—

It’s happening? It’s really happening. Fuck! Danny’s brain was a mess of repetitive reassurances that he was finally in the middle of a full-on make out session with Roy after 3 years of waiting. There was no point in trying to think coherently, because the rest of his body was pulling focus. He felt currents running to his lips, hands, chest, creeping increasingly south – the nerve endings firing were not in his head.

The only sense working for him right now was touch, and it was doing a damn good job keeping him occupied. Danny was drinking in every sensation: Roy’s lips moving against his, with just the right amount of aggression and care; Roy’s hands moving from his shoulders, gliding firmly across his chest and up to reach his face; Roy’s hair in his fingers as Danny reached to grab something – gently – in response; the lack of air in both of their lungs but unwillingness to break away; the slight hum of Roy’s mouth and tongue as Danny opened up to let him in and they both purred in approval.

Danny felt like he was about to go into some kind of sensory overload as he opened his stance, in the same moment grabbing Roy’s hips to pull them totally flush against each other. They both broke the kiss suddenly – half due to actually needing some oxygen intake, and half at the pleasant shock of the new contact between their hips.

Danny took only half a second to take stock of the dick he felt quickly hardening against his own: Well, this is going to be a fun challenge. He had seen Roy naked a thousand times on the road – they were drag queens on a tour bus, after all – but he’d never felt it. He broke a laugh, thinking about how embarrassed Roy had been the first time Danny saw him de-dragging –

“What’s so funny?” Roy was laughing, too, but there was something different about his eyes. As he laughed he was staring into Danny, keeping that electric current running between them even when their lips unlocked.

Danny smiled even wider. “Nothing, I’ll tell you later.” The last words were mumbled, on account of him diving back into a kiss with Roy. They went on like that for a while, making out like a couple of teenagers in a janitor’s closet during lunch. Danny could’ve sworn it wasn’t more than 30 seconds, but he was proven wrong when –

“Danny, you found him? We’ve been looking outside and in the crowd for a half hour and – oh shit!” Shane, Jinkx and Ben came barreling into the backstage area to see Danny still pinned up against the wall, one leg wrapped around Roy and all wandering hands.

Danny felt Roy put only half an inch of space between their lips, enough to get out a grumbly, “Yes, he found me. Now can you please leave us alone?” before immediately picking up where he left off.

“I – uh – see – well you guys…” Ben was trying unsuccessfully to get something out, so Jinkx jumped in to save him.

“What Dela’s trying to say is that you can do whatever you want, but you probably shouldn’t do it here. We were out looking for you guys and heard a a couple of people saying you guys were back here sucking face. And while I fully support all of” – Jinkx gestured at the tangle of limbs that was Roy and Danny – “this, you should probably do a little problem-solving before your face suck gets social media official.”

This time Roy pulled away fully, moving them both away from the wall. “I hate to say it Danny, but the narcoleptic’s right. We do need to talk.”

Danny felt the nerves and the panic coming back. Never in the history of his relationships (or any others he knew of, for that matter) had any version of ‘we need to talk’ been a good thing. He grabbed for Roy’s hand instinctively, trying to stop him from walking away. The deer-in-the-headlights look must’ve registered clearly on his face, because –

“Relax, kid. Let’s talk in the dressing room. I’m not going anywhere.” Roy smiled at Danny, melting away the fear instantly.

Danny reached up to wipe away the lipstick marks he had left sloppily across Roy’s face – in what had apparently been a 30-minute face fuck, Jesus – but his hand was swatted away.

“You’ve got my purple lipstick all over your face, baby.” God it felt good to call him that again – and mean it this time.

Roy shook his head and chortled. “Trust me, I don’t mind.” He led Danny to the dressing room, shutting the door firmly behind them.

—

“So, given what just happened, I think it would be best for us to just sit” – Roy let go of Danny’s hand and lightly pushed him down into one makeup chair, walking across to the other side of the small room – “apart. So that we can think clearly.”

“You just can’t resist me, can you?” Danny was enjoying the effect he seemed to have on Roy, making faux-seductive faces to try and pull out some laughs to keep the mood light. Looking over at Roy, he could see him approaching the same level of uncomfortable that he was feeling. It was rare that he saw anything but steely resolve, laughter or compassion on that dimpled face, so it was strange to see Roy looking so vulnerable. “So we should – “

“I’d actually like to start, if you don’t mind. Is that ok?” Roy cut him off, but seemed to be genuinely asking for permission to speak first. What a rarity. Danny nodded in agreement, taking deep breaths to reassure himself.

“Thanks.” Roy started in on a monologue, his face looking down at his hands in his lap. “Alright so – I have to start with an apology. Not just an apology for what happened this weekend, we’ll get to that later. I owe you an – Danny I am so sorry for the way things have been the last few months. I should’ve told you when I first – fuck, let me just lay it out.”

He looked up to lock eyes with Danny, who himself was too afraid to blink for the whole run-on of the speech. “I have been in love with you for years. I didn’t know it at first, and Lord knows I tried to cover it up by dating other people, but I am so fucking madly in love with you that I’m not myself without you anymore. I am so sorry for not realizing it sooner, and for pushing you away every time you tried to show me what I couldn’t see myself.”

Roy looked back to his hands, which Danny already recognized as his self-conscious tendency. “But when you left…when you left for Seattle, it felt like I lost my chance. I lost the only chance at love I was ever going to have, because I can’t love anyone else – at least not the way I love you, which is the only way it’s worth it. So yeah, when you moved I became distant and I tried to find something else to make me happy but it never worked and I –“

Danny couldn’t bear to hear Roy beat himself up like this any further. “Roy, just stop. It’s ok. Really, I understand. I love you, too, and I’ve been in that dark place, but now we can just –“

“No Danny, we can’t just.” Roy cut him off sharply, taking Danny by surprise. He must’ve registered a hurt look on his face, because Roy softened immediately.

“Sorry, I mean we can’t just sweep things under the rug. Not if we want this to work, and that is literally the only thing I want in the world right now. Ok maybe we don’t have to go through all the apologies – as you clearly laid out in your song there, we are both fuck ups – but we need to talk about some real shit.”

Danny couldn’t deny that at least. He’d seen too many promising relationships turn sour because of haste, and there were some real things they needed to lay out on the table.

“You’re right. And here we find ourselves, locked in a dressing room, with nothing but time. So let’s talk.” Danny was proud of himself for taking charge and being so forthcoming. “Let’s…well why don’t we run through them – everything that’s kept us apart in the past. If we agree none of them are actual deal-breakers – ”

“Then I get to start sucking your dick?” Roy cracked in full Bianca voice, and Danny couldn’t help but laugh. Bianca’s always there to break the tension, that bitch.

“Ok stop, take this seriously.” He reached to try and swat at Roy, but he was too far away. “In fact, let’s start there. The first thing that worries me is that you don’t take me seriously, that I’m always going to be a 23-year-old joke to you. You know, a charity case.” Danny made the first offering, trying to ease into it with a little humor.

“Oh, bitch.” Roy replied, unable to help himself from laughing for half a second. “You know that charity bullshit was the only thing I could come up with to stop myself from saying ‘Yes, I’d very much like to fuck this young boy, RuPaul” on national television.”

This wasn’t doing much to soothe Danny’s fears. “But that was three years ago, and I have seen you grow into such an amazing man…It’s been a privilege to be a part of your life and see you realize the crazy, creative, intelligent – yeah, I said intelligent –fiercely independent person that I always knew you were. And I want to be by your side while you live an incredible life, because I know you will. There is nothing about you that is a joke to me, Daniel. I promise.”

How am I going to follow that? Danny wondered internally.

Roy started again. “So now it’s my turn.” Danny steeled himself for what Roy was about to say, expecting the worst. “I’m worried about the age thing. Before you say something, I’m not worried about your age; I’m worried about mine. I don’t want you to feel like you missed out on having – “

“Ok let me stop you right there. I’m not missing out on having anything. Trust me when I say I’ve had plenty –“ Roy laughed again, but Danny pressed on – “Oh fuck off, you know what I mean! I’ve had more than enough relationship experiences and adventures to know that the only one I want to have now or ever again is ours. I’d trade a thousand random hook-ups from the the last three years if it meant spending more time with you – really with you.”

From what Danny could tell, Roy was satisfied with the answer – he was smiling like an idiot, if that was any indication. He took this as his cue to go next.

“Ok, so I’m nervous that you’re too scared to take this risk because you’re worried about what people will say. To be honest I always thought that was the main reason that we never got together, that you were worried about how other people would react.”

Roy took a few beats to respond, making Danny’s skin crawl with nerves. Did I find the deal-breaker?

“I…I understand why you might think that. To be honest, at one point, maybe it was true. Or at least a factor. But now, Danny…now I couldn’t give less of a shit about what other people have to say. You are what makes me happiest, happier than I’ve ever been. Apparently all our friends and family know anyway, so as far as the rest – well who gives a fuck? I don’t want to hide, I want to climb on top of this theater and scream in my damn foghorn of a voice that I am in love with Danny Noriega and plan to tell the world that everyday. Would that be ok with you?”

Danny couldn’t help but blush a little at that one. “Yeah, I guess that would be cool.” He started half-consciously scooting his chair over towards Roy.

“I thought it might be. So my turn again…” Danny could see Roy take a deep breath, gearing up for something heavy.

“This one is tough to put into words, but I’m going to try. I’m worried that I can’t give you what you need. I know that everything that happened this weekend was a mess, but I’m actually genuinely scared sometimes that I can’t show you the same love that you show me. I promise you I feel it, I feel it so strong, in every fingernail and eyelash and breath…” Roy trailed off, and Danny could see him struggling. He kept scooting his chair forward, unable to stop his body from trying to envelop Roy in a hug.

He continued. “You do everything so honestly and openly, with this incredible sense of fun and spontaneity and energy…I don’t want to dull that in you or make you any less…any less Danny. I don’t want to be Prince Eric, making you sell your voice and cut off your damn fish tail just to be with me.”

Danny couldn’t help but laugh, partially to break the tension of something real and partially at the reference. He’ll always be here to remind me I’m a mermaid.

Roy pre-empted his next words, stern and serious. “Before you say anything, I want you to actually think about that. In this moment, with our dicks hard and all the emotions, you can’t make a rational decision. I want you to actually think about that tonight.”

“Ok fine, I’ll sleep on it. It’s always good to sleep on it.” Danny saw the logic, but Roy’s insistence that he didn’t already know the answer in his heart was maddening. “But that runs right into the last thing I have to say – and I hoped I wouldn’t have to say it, but clearly I do. I’m worried you’re never going to stop finding reasons we shouldn’t be together.”

There were a few moments of heavy silence, the things they had just shared hanging weightily above them. It was Roy who finally spoke:

“Well I can tell you now that I’m done. I won’t be putting anything in the way of us, but I’m guessing you’ll want me to sleep on it. So why don’t we just do that. You go home, I go to my hotel, and we think. Tomorrow, if we both still – “

“Oh my god, are you proposing the Sex and the City meet-up thing?” Danny broke into hysterical laughter. “Roy you cannot be serious – “

“C’mon, we might as well do this the right way. Tomorrow, if we both still feel like being together is what we really want, let’s meet back here. We can meet before Shane’s show – they booked last minute him when they heard Courtney was in town. We can meet back in that balcony I was in tonight. And then – “

“And then I get to start sucking your dick?” Danny parroted back at him in his best Bianca impression, not resisting the opportunity to be ridiculous in this moment that was clearly already ridiculous.

“Yes bitch, you get to suck my dick.” Roy stood up and closed the increasingly smaller gap between him and Danny, bending down to kiss him again. “But you’ll have to settle for just this right now.” He lifted Danny up out of the chair and placed him on the counter. They spent a few moments back in their heaven, starting to explore necks and ears and chests, until there was a knock at the door.

“Hey guys? We gotta go, they’re closing out the venue.” Shane could be heard muffled through the door.

Danny reached for Roy and pulled him in for one last deep kiss, trying desperately to put all his longing and passion and love into that one embrace. Then he hopped off the counter, smacked Roy’s ass, and walked over to the door.

“You better show up tomorrow, Miranda.” And with a wink, he followed Courtney out the door.

Danny would be there the next day, there was never any doubt in his mind. It was Roy or nothing, and he’d be damned if he was going to have nothing.

Now he just hoped Roy would do the same.

#bianca del rio #adore delano #courtney act #biadore #new man #angst #fluff #rpdr fanfiction #submission #canon compliant #fucking awful

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