#anyways. if it gets cancelled they can at least not turn nick straight

[mourningmaybells]

people miss the fact that archive 81 is a horror comedy and also has gay people it’s so sad

#fuck netflix god.... #anyways. if it gets cancelled they can at least not turn nick straight #im so sorry melody you deserved so much better #a81 #archive 81

[thetheatregang]

The First Date Incident

Synopsis: When Julie goes on her first date, the boys just can’t help themselves. They have to spy on her. No self control. Nope. Not even a little bit. 

This is my first fic for JATP, and my first real fic since the beginning of quarantine so PLEASE go easy on me and PLEASE leave e some feedback! It goes kinda quick because I’m still trying to get back into the groove of writing but I hope you all love it!

Shout out to @easthighdrama and @itsjuliemolina for reading it and giving me some tips!

Monday. Julie Molina usually loathes Monday’s. This particular Monday, however, would not be a day like any other day at Los Feliz High School. 

Ever since her band played at the legendary venue The Orpheum, a few weeks prior, she has been riding the popularity train. People Julie has never talked to in her life are talking to her in the halls like they’re her best friend. Some of the popular senior girls even asked if she wanted to come to their party, to which she had to politely decline, as Ray would surely kill her if he found out. 

But to top it all off, the guy she’s had a crush on since grade school, Nick, has been talking to her more than ever!

“H- hey, Jules! How’s it going?” Nick calls out, approaching her locker. He pulls out from behind his back a bottle of apple juice from the cafeteria.

“Oh! Apple juice? How did you know?” She beams nervously. He knows because she tweeted about how bad she wanted apple juice last night, but the carton in the fridge was all out. It was a lame tweet, she knew that, but she can’t help but blush at the fact that Nick totally reads her tweets.

She’s liked Nick for so long, it’s hard to not get flustered around him. His cute smile and perfect hair just give her butterflies, she can’t help it. Even though when Nick asked her out before, and she rejected him, those feelings haven’t quite gone away yet. Probably because she only did so, because of her feelings for Luke, who, as Flynn has pointed out many times, isn’t even actually alive. She can’t really date a dead guy...

“I just had a feeling... Anywho, I was hoping to ask you something! Do you have plans this weekend?” He smiles, his eyes sparkling. Nick has had it bad for Julie ever since the band played that show in her backyard, and especially since she agreed to be his dance partner.

“Just rehearsal with the band, why? Did you wanna hang out or something?” She wonders aloud. This is it! This is iiiiiiitttttt! The moment she’s been waiting for since grade school.

“Well, they’re doing a horror movie marathon at the Westin Theater tomorrow for Halloween, so I was thinking maybe I’d pick you up, and we could go check it out?” He smiles. “Like on a date?”

“YES!” She exclaims, a little too enthusiastically. “I mean, yeah, sure! That sounds chill!” Nice save, Julie, nice save.

“Cool!” He chuckles. “I’ll text you the deets!”

Nick smiles, lowkey flipping his hair out of his face as he walks away. And within seconds Flynn appears.

“Did Nick just ask you out?” She squeals bouncing up and down.

“Maaaaaaayyyyyybe!” Julie teases. She cannot even believe she’s saying these words. A date? With Nick? Flynn couldn’t believe her ears.

“Give me all the details!” Flynn demands.

“He’s picking me up tomorrow to go to that horror movie marathon at the Westin! He told me he’d text me!” She squeals excitedly. 

“He’s gonna pick you up? Like in his car? Is your dad gonna be okay with that?” Flynn replies worriedly. Crap. She’s right. Ray is going to freak.

“I don’t know, um, I hope so…” She sighs. This is gonna take some convincing.

______

After arriving home from school, and having a less than pleasant conversation with her father about dating, and boys, and boys with cars, she heads out to the studio. 

“Guys?” She calls out entering the studio after school. No answer. This is strange because there’s almost always at least one of the boys in the studio when she gets home. Julie throws her backpack onto the couch and starts writing in her notebook. 

“Hey Julie!” The boys greet her as they poof in from wherever they came from. 

“Hey! I’m cancelling rehearsal tomorrow! I’ve got plans!” She tells them nonchalantly hoping to god they’re not gonna press the issue. 

They press the issue. 

“You’ve got plans that are better than rehearsing for our next gig?” Alex questions confusedly. 

“Yeah, what are you doing? You got a hot date or something?” Reggie teases laughing. 

Julie goes silent, not making eye contact, staring straight at her journal. 

“WAIT I WAS RIGHT?” Reggie exclaims. “I’m never right!” 

Julie can’t help but hide her smile. 

“Oh my god! I’m right! I can’t believe I’m actually right” Reggie continues before being fully cut off by Luke. 

“Wait seriously? A date? With that boy you were flirting with in the hallway?” Luke asks, with just a hint of jealousy in his voice. 

“We’re just going to a movie! It’s not like I’m gonna marry the guy!” Julie sasses back. 

“What are you going to see?” He inquires, sounding even more protective. 

“There’s like a horror movie marathon at the Westin Theater for Hallowen so we’re gonna catch one of the showings!” I inform them. 

“Oooh, guys love taking a girl to a scary movie. That way he can hold your hand whenever something scary happens!” Reggie chuckles. 

Luke gives him a look that immediately shuts him up.

Part of Julie likes that the guys are so protective of her. It’s comforting to know they have her back, but at the same time it’s like having three older brothers that could scare him off at any given moment with just a little ghost power.

“It’s just a movie. Stop overthinking it!” She warns. “We talked about boundaries, remember?” 

The boys all nod in agreement and move forward with rehearsal.

 ______

“I’m really glad you agreed to go out with me!” Nick tells me, opening the car door for Julie to get out. “I know you initially said no, but I’m really happy you changed your mind…” 

“Yeah, totally! How could I say no to a scary movie! I love scary movies. Ghosts are totally my thing!” She smiles, thinking she’s hilarious. 

“That’s awesome! The movie I chose is totally full of ghosts and monsters and stuff!” He informs her excitedly. 

Nick hands the employee the tickets, and they head into the theater. They find some good seating in the middle row, as the theater is more or less empty. 

Just before the movie begins, the boys poof into the very back row. 

“Do you see her?” Luke whispers to Reggie, Alex, and Willie who have all taken it upon themselves to play spy on Julie’s date. 

“There she is!” Reggie points, grabbing a seat with the extra large popcorn he stole from behind the counter with his ghost skills. 

“Are you guys sure we should be doing this?” Alex questions, apprehensive about the whole ordeal. 

“Oh absolutely. What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t check this guy out for Julie?” Luke smirks. 

“Yeah. This is basically research. Plus, this way, when we ask how the date was, and Julie refuses to tell us, we already know!” Reggie explains. 

This does not make Alex any less apprehensive but at least Willie came with them. He’s been looking for ways to get Willie and the boys to hang out for a little while now, and this was the perfect opportunity to get them all in the same room. 

“What is this movie anyway?” Alex looks around to see if anyone’s ticket is out. Alex has never been a horror movie fan. 

“Who knows, but if Julie can handle it, you can too, bud!” Luke smiles comfortingly. 

As the horror fills the screens, Luke watches Julie and Nick like a hawk. Nick yawns and puts his arm around Julie like guys do at movies, which just about drives Luke crazy. 

“You ready boys?” Luke says, clearly getting ready to go mess with them. 

“Absolutely not! If she finds out y’all followed her here she’ll freak!” Willie rolls his eyes, pulling Luke back to his seat by the shirt. 

Reggie hides behind Alex’s fanny pack from every spirit that enters the screen, before realizing that he too is dead, and begins relating to every ghost in the movie. 

“Don’t go in the creepy house! Don’t go in the creepy house… AHHH!” Alex yelps as the main characters enter the haunted house. He quickly notices he has left his seat and is now sitting comfortably in Willie’s lap, who is honestly enjoying the movie. 

“You scared, Hot Dog?” Willie grabs onto Alex’s hand and smiles. “Don’t worry, I got you!” He says comfortingly. Alex blushes. 

Reggie, who has officially gotten bored of the movie, begins tossing little popcorn crumbs at the screen, and other movie goers. 

“Dude cut it out?” The guy in front of them turns around, looking genuinely freaked out when he realizes that no one is behind him. 

The boys all laugh. How have they never thought to haunt movie theaters before?

Without thinking, he tosses one at Julie. 

Julie lets go of Nick’s hand, and fixes her hair, only just barely noticing that something hit her. And he probably would’ve gotten away with it too, if he hadn’t done it again. 

The second piece of popcorn hits Julie’s neck and she turns her body around in her seat. The guys sink really low in their chairs. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She whispers under her breath. 

“I’ll be right back. Gonna go get a refill on this icee!” She smiles at Nick, getting out of her seat. 

“Do you think she saw us?” Alex asks quietly to the other guys. 

“Yeah, definitely!” Willie says as Julie approaches the back of the theater. 

“All of you, outside, now!” Julie mutters as she exits the theater. 

The boys follow obediently. 

Julie stands outside the door of the theater with her arms crossed. She gets out her phone and puts it to her ear. 

“Heyyyyyy Julie! What are you doing here?” Reggie smiles awkwardly. 

“Are you guys serious right now? What happened to boundaries? What happened to not overthinking it?” She scolds, rolling her eyes. 

Alex sighs. “We’re sorry. We shouldn’t have intruded…” 

“You’re darn right you shouldn’t have intruded!” She rolls her eyes. “This was a total invasion of privacy!”  

“I know... We just couldn’t help ourselves. We had to make sure he treats you r-” Alex begins. 

“Nope! No excuses! I don’t wanna hear it! I called boundaries, and you all broke them!” She interrupts. “I’m going back in there. If you guys follow me again, I’m coming for all of you!” 

“But I wanna see how the movie ends?” Reggie complains. 

“Don’t. Even. Think about it.” Julie warns, walking back into the theater.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #julie x luke #julie molina #luke patterson #alex jatp #reggie jatp #willie jatp #nick jatp #my fanfiction #paige in the new decade #sonsetcurve

[georgescatcafe]

the rising chariot — 2

rating: t warning/s: none pairing/s: platonic dream team, karl jacobs/sapnap genres/tags: percy jackon and the olympians au, friendship, angst summary: Nick Pappas isn’t sure it’s normal for teenagers to be sent across the United States on a quest that could potentially kill them, but Nick has started to realize that everything he thought was normal is entirely false. George Davies doesn’t particularly want to spend three consecutive days with this new camper and that son of Hermes who snagged his win in Capture the Flag two weeks ago, but he knows he has to suck it up and go with them, no matter how irritating they may be. Clay Bryce just wants to prove himself and show that he’s more than that troublesome kid from Cabin Eleven, but even as the leader of this quest, he’s not sure how to when Nick has fire powers and George is practically capable of mind-control.

Yet what they feel and want will mean nothing if they don’t complete their quest. When a petty feud between gods has Apollo threatening to take the Sun from the sky, the three must head out to stop him, but not just that—they’re in a race against an ancient enemy of the god, one who definitely will try and kill him if it gets to Apollo first.

+ao3 +masterpost

Floris came by his house again the next day. Nick stared at him as he stood in the doorway. “School’s cancelled indefinitely,” Floris told him. “They said they’ll work on rebuilding as soon as they can, but while we still don’t have a physical school, we get summer break early.”

“Happy birthday to me,” Nick replied, though there was no mirth in his voice.

Floris smiled anyway before his eyes got all shifty, and he leaned forward, as if looking for something. “Are your parents home?” Nick wondered if Floris knew about his situation. He knew about Nick’s mom; or, at least, Nick assumed he somehow did. It wouldn’t surprise him that he knew about the rest of his living arrangement, either.

“I managed to get taken away by a deranged cop the day they left for their anniversary,” he answered. “And they aren’t putting that on hold for me.” His younger sisters—homeschooled, lucky them—were sent to their grandparents last week. The only reason Nick didn’t go was because he was old enough to handle himself. Or so he thought. “I’m home alone.”

“Nice,” Floris hummed, hand settling on the doorframe thoughtfully. “So about yesterday….”

Nick held up a hand, wincing as a headache bloomed behind his eyes. “I really don’t want to talk more about it.”

Floris made a face, but Nick was being honest. The whole ordeal just made him feel sick. “It’s good to—”

“Talk things out, I know,” NIck replies, “so you said. But, look, man, that was really traumatic, okay? And I think I hit my head too hard on the door because I was seeing things, and it was just really scary. I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

Floris studied him, gaze intense, and Nick straightened up under it, shoulders moving back and chest puffing up slightly. It wasn’t an intimidating look, but there was something… unnerving about it. He felt he had to prove something. Finally, Floris sighed. “It’s probably for the better for once. Just… if something like that happens again, you should take this.” He held out a small card, and when Nick took it, he realized it was a business card.

“Call me, okay?” Floris asked. “Don’t be a stranger.”

Nick stared at the card for another second before looking back up at the other. “Okay,” he agreed. “I’ll call.”

Floris gave him a final smile before pivoting on his heel. He was about to walk off when he spun back around. “Oh, uh, I made these for you.” He held out a baggie filled with what looked like lemon bars. “I don’t recommend eating them all at once. I’ve found they’re pretty good for when you need comfort food, or, like… healing. Or something.”

Nick accepted the bag. “Uh-huh. Thanks.”

“Yeah,” Floris said, before smiling for the last time for real and turning, heading down the walkway and taking off down the road.

Nick looked back down at the lemon bars. They weren’t his favorite. He definitely wasn't going to eat them all at once. Dumb of Floris to even tell him that.

He went about his routine like usual, now that school was out of the picture. It was a bit weird actually, sitting down to a day of mindless video games with no guilt, no homework to turn in or tests to study for. (Granted, most of his homework was left incomplete, and most tests were taken with no studying involved prior. Not that Nick was a dumb kid, school just… wasn’t for him. In case you couldn’t tell by the whole burning it down thing. Not that he meant to do that. Just to be clear. In case you missed that fact.) Nick sunk deeper into his beanbag chair, fingers flying across his Xbox controller as he focused on the small TV in his room. He wondered if his parents knew about his early summer already.

Probably not.

He played until the Sun went down, only stopping to pee or get food, and his routine looked very much like that for the next three days until his parents returned, and he found himself thrown into the monotony of chores and errands. It was preferable to reading-induced migraines, but he also missed the break from home school provided. The town he lived in on the edge of Houston was easy enough to navigate on foot, and his dad had started to give him driving lessons, but the lessons had to be put on hold for work, and walking around the city was a lot less fun when there was no one else to walk with.

The business card he’d taken to keeping in his pants’ pocket ever since Floris gave it to him seemed to become a paperweight then. Nick pulled it out.

Floris Larkspur Keeper Half-Blood Hill Long Island, New York [phone]

The information on it was terrible to read, in some fancy, looping font, but Nick understood it well enough once he squinted for a while. He frowned at the address and phone number. The number was obviously toll-free, meant more for business rather than personal use, and the location itself… New York? Nick frowned before returning the card to his pocket.

He’d have better luck running into Floris in the grocery store. Besides, the only bit of info on the card that didn’t leave him more confused than how he started was Floris’s name. Nick bit the inside of his cheek. Maybe Floris wasn’t the best person to walk around the city with.

Nick sighed, wondering if his stepmom would maybe send him on a grocery run. He was surprised when he walked into the living room to see his parents sitting on the couch, staring at him expectantly.

“Is something wrong?” he asked. “I didn’t mean to burn down the school. I promise.”

His stepmom rose from her place on the couch. “We believe you,” she said, hand coming to rest on his shoulder. His heart pounded as his gaze dropped to her hand. “You aren’t in trouble. Actually, the opposite.”

He stared at her before turning to his stepdad.

“Your birthday, Nick,” he said.

His birthday. He completely forgot about it. He looked at his stepmom.

“We’re sorry we weren’t here to celebrate with you,” she told him. “That was our fault. So we did something extra special for you.”

“You didn’t miss much,” Nick replied, even as she guided him over to the couch where his stepdad opened his laptop.

“With no school,” his stepmom said, “we figured it would be okay if spring break came early.”

And there, right on his dad’s laptop screen, a ticket to New York City.

Nick’s eyes turned to saucers as he stared between his parents, gaze going from his stepdad, back to his stepmom, then vice versa. “You’re kidding,” he breathed.

“Your flight goes out in two days,” his dad said. “A week there and straight back.”

“By myself?” Nick asked, hardly believing his luck.

“You’re sixteen,” his dad replied, even as his stepmom made a face.

“We have a second ticket,” she explained. “We can resell it, but… if you wanted to take a friend—a responsible one.”

Nick didn’t have many friends. Constantly switching schools did that to a kid. He stared blankly at his stepmom, who offered him a tentative smile in return. He tried to give one back, but his mind was reeling, wondering who to invite—if they’d really let him go on his own or not.

“Y’know,” his dad started, “there’s this one kid I’ve run into a couple times, at the gas station, the store, kind of funny looking, ginger, always asks after you.”

Oh, God. “That’s,” Nick hid his face in his hands, humiliation rising in his throat, “Floris.”

“A friend?” his stepmom asked, hopeful.

Nick nodded.

“Perfect!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “And clearly he cares about you. I think that’s a good one to take.”

“Mom,” he said, even as the name tasted bitter on his tongue, knowing his actual mom was still out there, “no. There’s got to be someone else—or I could go on my own, right? Right, Dad?”

His stepdad said nothing. So that was just a fib, then. Nick’s face fell.

“I think Floris would be good,” she urged. “You don’t have to spend every second together.”

“But you’ll want us to,” he argued.

“I just want you safe,” she said, “and I know your dad wants the same.”

Nick made a face.

Finally, she made one too, expression souring. “Nick, we just want to do something nice for you—for once. Can’t you just accept it?”

“I,” Nick made a frustrated noise deep in his throat, “why now? You’ve never cared. Is it because I almost went to prison?” He looks to his stepdad. “Do you feel guilty or something? That you couldn’t stop them from taking me, just like you couldn’t stop them from taking Mom—my real mom,” he added quickly, unable to stop the glare he shot at his stepmom, polite as she may be.

Her hand flew to her chest, as if stung, and his stepdad sat up, brows furrowing, lips downturned in a severe frown. “Nick Pappas, don’t you dare talk to us like that,” he scolded.

“Or what?” Nick snapped. “You going to kick me out? I bet you’d love that! You wouldn’t have to look for a new school anymore; you wouldn’t have to look at me and be reminded of her. You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”

“What’s gotten into you?” his stepmom cried. “You’re never like this!”

“I’m just tired!” Nick shoved himself up off the couch. “Thanks for the trip, but oh my God, just leave me alone—please!” He stormed into his room and slammed the door shut, pressing his back against it and immediately pressing his face into his hands.

He almost died Friday, and they didn’t care. Of course they didn’t care! And now they wanted to act nice, and he was supposed to just accept it? Without a modicum of suspicion? It was so not fair. He brought his legs to his chest, hands sliding from his face and elbows resting on the tops of his knees. He buried his head in his arms. None of this was fair.

What felt like an hour but was probably just ten minutes later, a soft knock at the door startled him into lifting his head. He scooted away from the door, and it opened slowly. In the doorway stood his stepmom. Nick bit back a groan.

“What,” he said.

The petite woman lowered herself to the floor, closing the door behind herself and taking a seat across from him. “I’m sorry I’m not her,” she replied.

Nick glared at her crossed legs.

“I mean it,” she promised. “I’ve never tried to be her—”

“You wouldn’t want to be her,” Nick grumbled.

His stepmom paused before a hand came to rest on his knee. “I never met her, but if she was anything like you, she couldn’t be bad.”

“You’re just saying that.” Nick’s glare strengthened. “I can’t stay at one school; I’m always setting things on fire; I almost went to prison just last week. I’m a terrible son.”

She didn’t say anything to that. 

Nick flattened his lips. 

“I’m sorry,” she finally said. “We’re… not good parents. I never wanted to be a parent. I am now, and I wouldn’t change it, but I’m not your mom, even with you calling me that, and I don’t want to replace her. And I could never be her because I know how much she meant to you, and I couldn’t do for you what she did.”

“You don’t even know what she did,” Nick snapped.

His stepmom sighed. “Can you please just accept this? I had to talk your dad into keeping the tickets after what you said.”

“You should have let him sell them,” Nick replied. “I deserve it.”

“No, you don’t.” She patted his knee. “You’re right. You did almost go to prison—you wouldn’t have deserved it, though. I think wrongful imprisonment deserves a trip to New York.”

Nick allowed a laugh to fall past his lips, bitter.

His stepmom took it. “Your flight leaves in two days. Tell your friend to come with you. You’ve got a whole week to run around NYC like the teenager you are. Have fun.” She gave a gentle shove to his shoulder. Nick rocked with the motion. “Okay?”

Nick stared at the floor.

“Okay?” she repeated.

He nodded.

“Good.” She pushed herself from the floor, running her fingers lightly through his hair before leaving, closing the door softly behind her. Nick squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a shaky breath.

Have fun. He can do that.

When he finally hunted Floris down at the grocery store the next day, he told him about the trip. “It’s short notice,” he apologized, “but it’s a week.”

“New York?” Floris asked. Nick felt like if the ginger had a tail, it’d be wagging.

“Yeah,” he replied. “A week and then we come home.”

“Got it, captain,” Floris said. “I’ll pack my bags tonight and meet you at your house bright and early tomorrow morning.”

“The flight doesn’t leave until noon.” Nick frowned.

“I like being prepared,” Floris replied. “Are you ready?”

“More or less,” Nick nodded, “not like I own much anyway.”

Floris stared at him, eyes narrowed, before nodding also. “See you tomorrow then.”

Nick gave him a mock-salute. “See you tomorrow.”

#sapnap #fundy #mcyt #karlnap #pjo au #georgenotfound #dream #fic #fanfiction #updates every friday #hfh

[littlemsstark3000]

Another request by @queeenpersephone from the 50 Kissing Prompts list. ❤️

*****

46. A lingering kiss before a long trip apart.

AU where Natasha was the SHIELD representative to Stark Industries in Iron Man 1 instead of Phil Coulson. She and Tony ended up dating and this story is set between IM1 and IM2 - he had just discovered the arc reactor's defect.

"Tones, don't give me that look."

Natasha stopped stuffing her duffle bag and stared straight at Tony who just walked into their room and sat lazily on the couch to watch her. His face void of emotion, but his eyes and the tensed jaw gave away what he actually felt.

"Why? Any kind of look won't work on you anyway." Sarcasm laced his voice.

"Is this some kind of a guilt trip?"

"Nope," he bluntly said before checking his watch and adding: "But look, you might be late for your own trip."

"Hey," she dropped a shirt on the bed and crossed arms on her chest. "We talked about this. If I get called, I go."

He stood up and walked slowly to her smirking. "You do. You always do. I can't count how many times anymore. Did I ever stop you?" Then his face turned dead serious again. "No. Just this once."

Natasha pursed her lips and shook her head. Tony was already right in front of her, they were almost toe to toe.

"Everything's settled, we're leaving tomorrow, then you get just one message from Nick effin Fury and you've changed your mind." His tone was flat; he did not need to do anything more for her to feel how dejected he was.

She sighed heavily. This was not a time to argue, and she considered where he was really coming from.

Trying to calm him down, she placed both of her hands on his shoulders, grabbing them gently as she ran her thumbs on his chest. "Don't make it sound like I'm excited to go just like that. This is duty, Tony."

He fell silent, looking away from her, then let out a resigned breath, too.

"Babe," she reached out to cup his face. He wrapped his arms around her waist in return.

"I'm sorry that I have to cancel last minute, but we can reschedule, right? We can still go when I get back."

"And what if they call you in again?" this time, his voice sounded vulnerable.

"I'm turning off my mobile for a while after this op."

"Can you take a leave?"

Natasha could not blame him for doubting. He knew how much her job meant to her. But he still needed convincing on how much he meant to her as well.

"We will. And we'll go for that vacation, not because you think you are dying but because I just want you to rest your mind."

Tony froze. "What -"

"The palladium poisoning? Blood toxicity test? I've known it for a couple of days now." Natasha cut him lightly and forced a smile. "Come on, I'm not your girlfriend and a spy for nothing. I notice everything. And I know you."

He had to see that she was not mad at him for keeping it, and she also would not let him suffer alone any longer. She pulled him into a hug.

"We're getting through this, Tony. But you gotta tell me all about it. We'll pull all strings, even if I'd need to use SHIELD."

Natasha felt more than she saw him agreed. He nuzzled her curly hair and they stayed like that for awhile, before he walked them to bed. Tony sat on the cushion with her on his lap, facing him.

"You know that more than the trip, I'm also concerned about you, right? That's not your usual op. That's Hydra." His voice has completely changed. Gone was the indifference, all she felt was tenderness.

"I know that, too." Her fingers slightly combing his hair.

"Just... Be safe, okay?" Tony caught her eyes.

"What you said," she pressed a point finger to his arc reactor, indicating that he gotta do the same.

"I'm not kidding, Natasha. You update me or I'm following you to that other side of the world."

It was her who spoke seriously again. She knew that he could do that, too. "Don't be ridiculous. You're not using that suit until we figure out how it won't harm you in any way."

"Then update me. At least me know what's happening," he emphasized.

Natasha pressed a firm kiss on his cheek. "I'll try to be back sooner," she reassured, locking his focus on her.

She initiated another move, planting soft kisses to his lips to appease him, until he willingly took over. His arms tightened around her hips and her hands were on his nape and collar, pulling him even closer. She moaned softly when Tony bit a little, urging her to open up so he could deepen the kiss. It was an unspoken promise....

You're not losing me. I'm not losing you either.

They just linger for minutes, both catching their breaths, savoring the moment before they separate temporarily.

#kissing prompts #kiss #tonynat #tony stark #natasha romanoff #tonynatasha #iron widow #ironwidow #iron man #black widow #au #mcu #marvel #otp #im1 #im2 #fanfic #ao3

[watchmegetobsessed]

Shawn Mendes // Boundaries Part 12

yoooo im back with a new part!! okay this sounded like im a shitty rapper.. im really losing my shit lately over school but whatever... anyway, enjoy! shower me with your thoughts!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10  - Part 11

I’m an emotional wreck when I get into the car and Nick greets me with a friendly smile. The silence is comforting, though I miss the country music Shawn used to play every time he was in a good mood.

I’m not a nail biter, but I nibble on them as we are getting closer and closer to Shawn’s place and I’m trying to come up with a plan on how I want to do it. Should I just blurt it out or should I build it up properly like a speech that ends with me telling him that he is going to be a father?

None of the options seem to be right, so after a while I give up and decide to just go with the flow.

When Nick rolls into the garage my nerves are exploding and my hands are shaking when I get out of the car. I take the elevator and I feel like my stomach was left in the garage when the elevator moved up.

The door opens and I walk into the familiar apartment. I hear his singing voice coming from the kitchen even before I could see him and it immediately brings a smile to my lips. I don’t know what I was expecting to see or how I imagined our first meeting after our emotional goodbye, but it feels… normal.

I walk into the kitchen and he looks up at me from the instant soup he is making and a wide smile dances to his beautiful face. He looks just as handsome as I remembered, his hair is now a bit longer, a curl is dancing on his forehead with every movement, but it’s beyond adorable. I have to fight the urge to curl it to my finger.

“Hi!” he greets me and stepping closer he pulls me into a hug, and I feel like I’m finally safe and home.

“Hi,” I whisper against his hoodie as I wrap my arms around his waist. Smelling his scent makes is even harder to peel myself off of him when it’s long over the friendly duration for the hug. “Instant soup, huh?” I ask hoping to make myself forget about the aching pain in my chest that I’m feeling now that he is standing next to me again.

“I don’t have lunch or dinner dates anymore, so I’m more often stuck here alone. And I’m still not a chef,” he chuckles shaking his head.

“Ordering is still an option, you know?”

“I… haven’t been quite in the mood to talk to strangers, not even a delivery guy,” he mumbles anxiously as he puts a spoon into the soup and stirs it. Steam is dancing above the bowl indicating that it’s still pretty hot, so he doesn’t attempt to taste it, just lets it sit on the counter.

I can relate to how he is feeling and I’m surprised he shared this detail with me. I was afraid he would be distant and sullen with me, but his honesty is calming me.

“Do you want a glass of wine or something?” he asks walking over to the fridge. I almost say yes immediately, some alcohol would definitely work for me, but then I realize that I can’t. Because there is a teeny-tiny baby in my stomach now.

“Um, no thank you,” I shake my head and watch him grab a water for both of us.

“So, not that I’m rushing you, but I’m really curious about what you wanted to talk about.”

We make ourselves comfortable on the couch and I feel my anxiety coming over me. I have no idea how to do it, but I can’t just blurt it out. I need time to think.

“I… I’ve been missing you.”

He gives me a doubtful look and I’m afraid he can see through me, but then he doesn’t question if this was my original intention. But I start talking again just to be sure.

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot and I just couldn’t get you off of my mind. I know I was the one who wanted to end everything, but… I guess I can’t do it.”

I feel horrible. I should have told him straight away instead of talking bullshit. Well, okay, it’s not bullshit, it’s true, I’ve been missing him as hell, but this is not why I came here.

He runs his hand through his hair and I think back of the time I used to do this without a second thought. Now I’m sitting next to him with a decent gap between us, so our legs can’t touch.

“I missed you too, Naya. So much. But… what do you want to do? I mean… I’m happy to start seeing you again, but we have to figure this out, how we want to make it work.”

I nod with a blank stare and I don’t know what I can say. If I don’t tell him about the pregnancy test I’m just fucking everything up, making him believe things are turning right and we can start over again, when truth is, everything is about to turn upside down.

For my luck, his phone starts ringing somewhere in his room and he excuses himself rushing into the room to answer the call.

I growl angrily as I reach for my bag and grab the test. I stare at it and can’t help but grimace. What am I doing here? I can’t ruin his life, I was the stupid one who forgot to take the pill, so it’s all my fault. A child would blow up his whole life and I can’t put up with the thought of messing everything up for him. I shouldn’t have come here.

I jump when I realize he is walking out of his room and in my sudden confusion I tug the stick to my coat’s pocket hiding it as I jump to my feet. I have to leave before I fuck something up.

“Where are you going?” he asks with raised eyebrows.

“I-I gotta leave. I’m sorry.” I mumble nervously as I head to the elevator, but he grabs my arm and… and everything happens too fast.

His grip is not too hard, but it’s strong enough to pull my hand out of the pocket and the stick slides out with it as well. It falls to the floor and the clinking makes me jump. I totally freeze right at that moment, giving Shawn the chance to reach for it.

As I watch him pick the test up from the floor I hold my breath and pull my shoulders up, as if I’m afraid he is about to explode. He hold it between his fingers, stares at it for the longest few seconds before his eyes slowly move up to my face. I’m biting my lips, feeling the tears dwelling in my eyes.

Why didn’t I put the damn test back into my bag? Why am I such an idiot?

“Shawn, I-“ I start, but I don’t get to finish, he cuts me off.

“Is this yours?” he asks in a firm voice. I nod.

“I took it this morning. I threw up last night and realized I’ve been late for over a week, so I bought the test and…”

“Did you do it on purpose?” I hear his next question and the words freeze to my tongue.

“What?” I manage to say.

“Did you get pregnant on purpose? Were you planning on it?”

His expressions are hard, he seems mad and it’s scary to see him like this. I didn’t want to upset him and his questions catch me off-guard. I stare at him in disbelief, but it soon turns into anger. How can he think I did this on purpose?

“Sure, I thought it would be fun to mess up my and your life as well!” I snap back angrily. “Of course I didn’t! I forgot to take the damn pills!” I growl as I snatch the test from his hand. Now I’m raging and I’m offended by the accusation.

“You told me not to worry about it! And yet, you have a positive pregnancy test in your bag now!” he retorts just making it even worse.

“I’m sorry, I was too busy trying not to fall apart! I’m sorry I’m human! But if you think I did this on purpose then I’m leaving now. It was a mistake to come here.”

I turn around furiously, but he grabs my arm again holding me back. When I turn back to him his face is completely changed. He doesn’t seem mad anymore, more like… desperate.

“Hey, hey, hey. I’m sorry! I didn’t… I just- I’m in shock, okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“And you think I’m not shocked?” I scoff in disbelief. “This morning I found out that I’m pregnant, I came here to find comfort and maybe to find out what we should do now, and then you accuse me of doing it on purpose!” Tears are running down on my cheeks and though I try to push him away, he pulls me to him and closes his arms around me no matter how badly I’m trying to get away from him. “I’m so fucking shook, I’m terrified and I really thought seeing you would make me feel better, but I’m still so afraid.”

Now I’m full on crying, I’m sobbing into his shirt but he doesn’t seem to care. His strong arms hold me tight to his body and I just want to stay like this forever. He is stroking my hair gently, soothing me without letting go of me. I’m glad he is holding me because my knees feel like jelly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, I wasn’t thinking. It’s okay baby,” he whispers into my hair pressing a kiss to my temple.

“I’m sorry for raging so bad. I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster in the last 24 hours,” I mumble wiping my tears off of my face, but I know my eyes has already swelled and as red as a tomato.

“It’s fine. Come on, let’s sit down and talk, okay?”

I nod my head and he pulls me back to the couch. He gently takes my coat off and sitting down he pulls me close, circling an arm around my shoulders. His body’s heat is attracting me like I’m a bug and he is the only light in the room. I cuddle to his side and enjoy the momentary silence as I slowly realize I’m somehow relieved. The secret is out, he knows about the test, now we can focus on figuring out everything else.

“I’m sorry about the pill. I should have been more careful, it’s my fault,” I mumble and looking up at him I my gaze meets his soft eyes. All the anger and doubt is gone by now, I have my soft Shawn back, thanks God.

“Don’t say that. I should have been more persistent about using a condom too. We are in this together. But we really have to figure out the next step.”

“The next step is that I have a doctor’s appointment for tomorrow. These test are pretty reliable, but I need to see a professional as well.”

“Cancel the appointment, I’ll get you one in a private hospital. They are very trustworthy and we can sneak in without getting noticed.”

I don’t protest, I’m more than happy to keep it a secret for as long as possible. The last thing I need is to get recognized as I’m going to the gynecologist with Shawn.

“And we have to tell at least Andrew. He would kill me if something got out without him knowing about it.”

“He is going to hate me for life,” I sigh sadly, shutting my eyes closed. He runs his hand up and down my arm soothingly.

“Hey, don’t worry. Andrew is a smart guy, he doesn’t hold a grudge for nothing. And as I said, I was there too when…” His other hand gently slips under my sweater to my stomach. “When this baby thing happened. You remember?”

His playful smile calms me a bit. I’m suddenly very aware of his warm palm on my stomach and it’s so strange, to think about the tiny baby in my stomach.

“Shawn?” I speak up after a few silent moments.

“Hm?”

“I’m scared.” My voice is just a dying whisper and the damn tears are flowing again from my eyes, I can’t help it. Startled from my sudden mood change he sits straight up so he can look into my eyes, he cups my face in his hands and runs hid thumbs across my cheeks.

“Don’t be. It’s going to be alright. I’m not letting you do this alone, okay?” I nod my head sniffing like a little child. “I know it’s very sudden and scary, but you are not alone. I’m here and we are in this together.”

Now I’m crying because he is the sweetest person alive. His kind and soothing words comfort me like nothing on the world and even though this is a shitty situation I’m still happy I get to do this with him.

“I just… Don’t feel like I’m ready for this,” I choke out shaking my head.

“You will be ready for this when the time comes. I know we can make this work, okay? Just… don’t give up. We have someone else to think about now,” he lets out a small chuckle making me laugh through my tears.

Thanks to the emotional shock we both went through we doze out on the couch soon. When I open my eyes it’s already dark outside, meaning I spent almost half of the day napping with Shawn on his couch. His arms are hugging me protectively as he is spooning me from behind. I don’t want to wake him up, but one, I really have to pee and two, it’s time for me to leave, I don’t intend to spend the night here. Our situation doesn’t mean we are back on track.

I successfully peel myself out of his grip and make it to the bathroom. After quickly taking care of my business I check on him, he is still sleeping, now hugging a pillow to his chest. I take a moment to admire how peaceful he looks right now. No drama, no worries, just his angelic face that I still love so dearly.

As I feel myself getting emotional I turn away and grabbing my stuff I leave. I don’t call for Nick, I get a cab and head home.

I guess my message is clear to Shawn, he doesn’t call me that day. In the morning he texts me that he is picking me up at the café to go to the clinic and he also lets me know we are having a meeting with Andrew and Justin later, though I have no idea who Justin is. Definitely not Bieber.

Elisa is not home when I wake up, I’m thankful I don’t have to face her, she knows me too damn well and I know it would take one look and she would know something is off. I need more time to figure things out.

I have a beanie on and my scarf is covering half my face so I’m not recognizable. From my previous month spent with Shawn I expect him to be distant and moody after I left without a word yesterday, but I guess the situation is different now. I’m welcomed with a bright smile as I sit into the car.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” he asks me kindly.

“Um, fine. I was a bit nauseous in the morning, but I’m better,” I sigh tiredly. I leave out the part where I spent ten minutes kneeling next to the toilet because I was pretty close to throwing up. “Who is this Justin we are meeting later?” I ask.

“Justin Stirling. He is in my team, he has been doing a lot of marketing stuff for me lately, but he was busy with family stuff last month.”

I nod my head noting the information. The rest of the car ride is spent in silence. I feel so strange, before this whole pregnancy drama Shawn was always the dominant one, especially because he was kind of my boss. But now he looks so lost and confused, my news yesterday must have thrown him over the edge. He is looking out for my every mood and it’s starting to make me feel uncomfortable.

We make it into the clinic without anyone noticing us. This is definitely not how I imagined my first trip to the doctor when I become pregnant. It’s far from idyllic, I’m nervous, my hands are shaking so I hide them in my pocket, Shawn is like a jumpy kid, looking out for everything around us.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Hosier, please, come in,” the doctor greets us. She is a lovely middle-aged woman with a warm smile which is quite calming. We follow her into the room and while I sit up on the white bed Shawn takes place next to me. “So tell me, what do we know so far?” she asks as she is getting ready for my examination.

“Um, I’ve been late for about nine days now, in the past two days I’ve been feeling nauseous and I threw up once. I took a test and it came out positive.” I’m nervous to talk about it with Shawn right next to me, but I try not to think about it.

“Okay. Any pain maybe in the lower stomach?”

“No,” I shake my head.

Soon my pants and underwear comes off and I sit with my legs up while Dr. Hosier is facing my lower half. She keeps asking me questions, I just stare up at the ceiling and answer them like a robot. Shawn looks tensed as he is looking at the doctor.

“I’m going to do an ultrasound quickly,” she informs me she helps me put my legs down. I’m trying to breathe evenly as she pours some jelly on my stomach and starts roaming it with that… something. I don’t even know what these things are, this is how unprepared I am!

All three of us is staring at the screen that is filled with black and white void, I don’t see anything, but the Dr. Hosier freezes the picture and puts a circle around a teeny-tiny dot in the lower part of the image.

“Well, I have news. You are in fact pregnant, Miss Duvall and that little dot is the baby.”

I guess she can sense how unwelcomed the situation is, so she keeps her congrats to herself. She quickly tells me that we need to reserve another appointment soon, she talks about vitamins and useful information while I wipe my stomach clean and get dressed.

“Here, this is for you,” she tells me handing me an envelope. Opening it I see two copies of the ultrasound picture. I just thank her quietly wanting nothing more than to just finally leave the clinic. It is official now, I’m pregnant.

The realization hits me hard across my face as we walk out of the room and head to the car. Neither of us is talking, I’m scared, mad and desperate about the situation and I’m pretty deep in my thoughts when Shawn takes my hand and stops me before I could walk out of the building.

“Naya, let’s… talk for a minute, okay?”

I just nod my head as we sit down in two seats in the corner. No one is batting an eye at us fortunately.

“I, uh- I just wanted to tell you that… I know it’s scary and everything, and Andrew will probably explode when we tell him, but… I’m totally in.”

“In what?” I ask confused.

“In this. In us, in investing in this pregnancy. I want to be part of it, no matter how crazy things will get. And I guess I’m not saying anything new if I say I want us to… continue from where we were before things went downhill.”

“Things didn’t go downhill, our work came to its end and I did the logical thing.”

“But this is not work anymore. I want to give us a chance.”

I stare at him with mixed emotions. I don’t know what I want, I need time to figure out my next step. I have so much to worry about now that my feelings for Shawn must come second… or third… I’m more worried about what Andrew will say, how I’m going to work and what will people think if it ever gets out.

“I need time. It’s just too messy for me now. I’m sorry, but… I need to figure everything out.”

I can tell my answer doesn’t satisfy him, but he doesn’t protest. Pressing his lips together he nods shortly before we continue our way out of the clinic.

I’m shitting my pants when we reach the office complex where we are supposed to meet Andrew and Justin. I have no idea what to expect, but I’m sure it won’t be too pretty. Shawn tries to calm me telling me that it will be alright, but I know we are in trouble.

Shawn knocks on the door that has Andrew’s name on it and when we get the approval he opens the door.

“Ah, hey! I didn’t know you would be here too,” he immediately says when he sees me, confusion all over his face as he shakes hands with Shawn shooting him a questioning look. But he just ignores it and turns to the other guy in the room.

“Hey man, this is…” he starts gesturing at me, but he is not sure which name to use, so I step ahead and hold a hand out for Justin.

“I’m Naya. Hi.”

This is already over the work relationship I formed previously, my real name is justifiable. I see Andrew’s surprised face from the corner of my eyes and I know he is a smart guy, he must be putting the picture together slowly. But I bet he has no idea about the bomb we are about to drop onto him.

“Hey, Justin. Nice to meet you,” Stirling shakes my hand and soon we all take our places. Andrew is behind the desk, Justin is leaning against the bookshelf in the corner while Shawn and I are sitting in front of them.

“So, what is this meeting about?” Andrew questions. I turn to Shawn and he is already opening his mouth to answer.

“I have something to tell you, but I hope you won’t get mad. I just want you to listen to me.” Andrew nods and Shawn continues. “So… During the one month Naya and I kinda got cozy, if you know what I mean. In the last two weeks things escalated quickly, so it all took a romantic turn. But, um, w-we ended it when the month was over,” he adds and I’m staring at Andrew, trying to read his expressions, but I can’t. He is like a statue.

“Okay, go on, what is the problem?” he asks leaning back in his seat, but I have a feeling he already figured it out, because when he looks at me I can feel his eyes burning into my skin.

“We made a very reckless and immature mistake by… Um, we- we didn’t…” Shawn’s stuttering is getting under my skin, so I take a deep breath and just blurt it out.

“We didn’t use protection and I’m pregnant.”

The room falls silent, Andrew is staring at me, Shawn is staring at Andrew, Justin is staring at Shawn and I’m staring at the floor. The words felt heavy in my mouth and I’m afraid my heart is about to jump out of my chest.

After what feels like eternity, Andrew takes his glasses off pinching the bridge of his nose as he takes a few deep breaths. Once he places the glasses back he leans on the desk and finally speaks.

“Have you been to a doctor or you just did a test?” he asks in a calm, but distant tone.

“We went to the clinic together today. I was there, it’s one hundred percent,” Shawn answers for me.

“How many weeks are you?”

“It’s the fourth,” I mumble ashamed. Andrew’s questions are prim and strict, it all feels like an interrogation.

I look at Justin for the first time since Shawn started talking and his face looks blank, but I can tell his thoughts are racing, trying to figure out what to do with the situation.

“Okay, and what do you want?”

I furrow my eyebrows confused.

“What I want? I don’t understand it…”

“What do you want?” He repeats. “Money? Followers? A job? What do you want?”

“I don’t wa- You think I did this to get stuff from you or Shawn?” I ask realizing what this is about. Shawn’s first reaction was almost the same and now I’m definitely hurt. I never made them believe I’m a scheming bitch, why does everyone think I’m using them?

“Of course the thought crosses my mind, otherwise, how could you be so reckless to have unsafe sex?” he asks as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but it’s just making my blood boil.

“Andrew, it’s not-“ Shawn starts, but I cut him off.

“How dare you accuse me of being such a horrible person? You know nothing about me! Just because I work as an escort doesn’t mean I have such low life choices as getting myself knocked up by a client! You know what? It was a mistake to come here.” I grab my bag and throwing it on my shoulder I stand up, ready to leave. Everyone moves with me, Andrew and Shawn jump up and Justin takes a step towards me, all three of them to stop me, but the intentions are not the same. While Shawn wants me to stay because he cares about me, Andrew is just afraid is I slip out the door he can’t control the news anymore.

Shawn grabs my wrist and gently pulls me closer to him.

“Please don’t go, let’s talk.”

“You are not leaving without a confidentiality contract, no way you are walking out just like that,” Andrew growls and it’s just making it worse.

“You’re not making me do anything. I don’t need anything from you,” I spat at him and Shawn stands between us, as if he is afraid we would start a fist fight.

“Let’s calm down and talk, okay? Please!” he pleads, but behind him Andrew doesn’t seem too committed.

“I can’t deal with him if he is treating me like a bitch,” I say in a low voice, but the room is small, so everyone can hear it. Though I don’t care.

“Andrew, would you calm down? It was all an accident, she is not trying to ruin me,” he tells his manager turning to face him, but he is still holding my wrist.

I can tell Andrew is boiling inside, holding himself back not to throw the desk at me, and we are staring at each other like two hungry lions over the last piece of meat. Poor Shawn is standing in the middle, hoping he won’t have to pull us out of a fight anytime soon.

Then he takes a deep breath and nods.

“I’m sorry, but this was… quite shocking. I wasn’t expecting this.”

“I get it, it was a shocker for everyone, but let’s just talk about it, okay?” Shawn offers and I’m too tired and emotionally drained out to start a fight, so I nod my head agreeing.

We manage to sit back to our previous places and Justin stands right behind Andrew as we try to start it over again without the accusations and drama.

“I’m sorry for reacting so harshly,” Andrew starts, obviously thinking through his choice of words. “I’m just shocked, but of course, I don’t think you are trying to use Shawn. So… Let’s figure out what to do,” he offers and we all nod agreeing. “Was abortion ever an option?”

“No,” Shawn and I answer at the same time even though we never discussed it. Despite the difficulties of the situation I wouldn’t be able to abort this baby, it’s just impossible for me and I guess Shawn thinks the same way.

“Alright, then we need a strategy,” Andrew tells a bit more like to himself than to us as he is staring down at his desk. “Um… Are you guys…”

“Are you guys together now?” Justin asks speaking up for the first time in a while.

I see Shawn turning to me from the corner of my eyes, and his gaze is burning my temple as he is staring at me.

“It’s… it’s undefined. I have to figure a lot of stuff out.” I say feeling a bit guilty under their examining looks.

“But this is all joint now. Your decisions effect our work as well, I’m sorry, but you can’t just run free. Obviously, Shawn wants to take part in the baby’s life, so we have to work together. What stuff do you need to figure out?”

I feel awkward and anxious as I realize that he is right. I have to worry about myself, the baby and also consider Shawn as a third party, because he has the right to take part in this journey. I owe him honesty.

“I-I have to think about work, I need to talk to Joshua, because as soon as it gets visible I can’t work. But then I need money, because…” I don’t finish the sentence, I’m not ready to share my giant debts with them and listen to their pity. No way.

“Naya, I can support you financially. Let me help you out!” Shawn sighs obviously being over my shit, but I’m just too stubborn.

“No. That’s your money. I have my own problems to solve,” I protest.

“But I told you, we are in this together! I won’t just watch you struggle.”

“I can’t ask you to do me such a huge favor,” I shake my head staring down at my hands. I’m ashamed to admit how much debt I have to pay for every month.

“You’re not asking, I’m offering it.”

“Shawn stop!” I snap at him as I feel myself getting emotional again. “You have no idea how deep I’m in this shit! I inherited 1.2 million dollars of debts after my mom disappeared and left my number to everyone she was owing to, so now I’m paying thousands of dollars every month, because if I don’t, I might end up dead in a dumpster!”

My outburst is followed by total silence and my eyes are tearing up pretty quick. I didn’t mean to say it out loud, I never want people to know how much I struggle because of my own mother. She was a failure, never had a decent job so he paid for her debts by asking for more money from different people. Living this lifestyle for almost ten years can send you down the spiral, and when she disappeared after I moved out from her she left 1.2 million dollars worth of debt, forcing me to start working as an escort since this was the only job that offered me enough money each month to cover everything. I’ve paid back about half of the money by now, but I’m still coughing the rest every damn month. I was once late with paying, the next day two not too friendly guys showed up at my apartment and taught me a lesson with their fists. I never want to experience that. I scared the shit out of Elisa when she saw my black-eye.

“Can we… Can we have this conversation sometime later? I’m really not feeling good,” I say after a long time. I guess I shocked everyone with my outburst, they are all speechless. Shawn is the first one to recover after the scene.

“Um, Andrew how about we all have lunch tomorrow and talk about this? I think we all need some time to adjust the situation.”

I thank God for this offer, because I’m nauseous and anxious to sit here and talk about the future that involves a baby in my belly.

“It’s a great idea. Let’s just think about everything and come prepared the next time,” Justin nods agreeing and Andrew seems to be on the same page as well.

I put on my coat and keeping my gaze down I leave the office while Shawn exchanges a few words. I stop at the hallway waiting for him, chewing on my bottom lip I’m on the verge of crying once again. A few minutes later Shawn appears and seeing my long face he wraps an arm around my shoulders pulling me to his chest and this is exactly what I need right now.

“How about we get some takeaway, go to my place, eat and… just chill. Hm?” He offers mumbling into my hair, running his hands up and down my arms soothingly. I just nod my head, I’m too weak and stressed to talk and though I know I shouldn’t be getting closer to him, I just can’t resist. I need his presence, I want him to tell me it’s going to be okay, I just need somebody.

No.

I need him.

-

I AM SHOOK ARE YOU SHOOK LETS ALL BE SHOOK no im just kidding I WROTE IT hahaha okay im done here bye

taglist:  @damnigotadime @jrock-1987 @dacutiehart @ricchhelle @shar-is-my-name @hollandechart

#shawn mendes #shawn #mendes #shawn mendes imagines #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes fanfictions #shawn mendes x reader #magcon #mendes army #boundaries #boundaries series

[jobrosupdates]

‘Sucker’ Punch: The Behind-the-Scenes Players to Launch Jonas Brothers’ First No. 1 | Variety

The trio's manager, A&R and label chief explain how an authentic thaw in sibling relations led to a strategy of silence, then shock and awe.

March 11, 2019 by Chris Willman

America is collectively a sucker for the Jonas Brothers again — or at least that’s the strong indication from first-week results for their comeback, a full decade after the trio last had a top 30 single. “Sucker” just became their first song ever to top the Billboard Hot 100, and the first by any band to debut at the top of the chart in more than 20 years. According to Buzz Angle Music, the first seven days for “Sucker” racked up a combination of 30 million audio streams, 16 million video streams and 88,000 digital sales, on top of a fast radio start that found nearly every pop station adding the tune.

How’s it possible one of the biggest phenomena of the late 2000s never had a No. 1? Back in their original heyday, radio and older fans were both mutually suspicious of any act coming out of the Disney camp, no matter how massive the ticket sellouts or record sales (they had four straight platinum or double-platinum albums, if you count the “Camp Rock” soundtrack). Ten years later, pent-up fan energy is meeting no such gatekeeper resistance.

“As big as they were previously, they’ve never seen this kind of chart action, which is pretty wild at this point of their career,” Monte Lipman, the chairman/CEO of Republic Records, tells Variety. “They were an arena act, but in terms of the traditional record flying up and down the charts, they never had that. From the outside looking in, I was always intrigued by their success and thinking about what would happen if they had a record that stormed the charts on top of all of that, like they do now. So we’ve been having a blast.”

Crucial parts of the campaign: “Having Nick’s and Kevin’s wives and Joe’s fiancée be a part of the video was really powerful, and that visual provided a lot of fuel at launch that was beneficial to the whole campaign,” says Phil McIntyre, founder/CEO of Philymack, their management company. “And the platform of James (Corden, whose show featured the Jonas Brothers for an entire week) was phenomenal and made for great, fun content that travels.” The “Carpool Karaoke” was even revealing enough about the brothers’ personal story to make up for a lot of interviews they could have done and didn’t. But prior to the video and Corden, the perhaps even more critical component in the plan was… silence. “It was definitely part of our strategy, to try to keep it under the radar, and it was helpful that it stayed there,” says McIntyre, “because we were totally expecting that it wouldn’t.”

“As hard as it is to keep a secret in 2019, especially when you’re three of the most followed guys online,” says Republic’s EVP of A&R, Wendy Goldstein, “they did a great job at keeping it quiet. And the Jonas Brothers as a band may have been dormant, but their individual development and success probably contributed to amplifying excitement. They’ve been out there for six years in the public eye, but not as Jonas Brothers,” she says. “It was the perfect tease.”

Adds Lipman, “Because when you think about the marketplace, nearly 150,000 new songs are made available every single week, and the greatest competition we’ve got right now is that sheer volume — the static, the noise. So in this case the best thing to do was almost the opposite, something without any messaging, and literally just drop it out of the sky — and ka-boom, it’s the loudest bang you can create.” But everyone was concerned the secrecy could be blown at any moment. “Any time the guys were ever seen in the same room together, the rumors started flying. So there was a lot of denial, absolutely.”

Plausible deniability, though, because the Jonases really did have another reason to be in one another’s company — a documentary — and the recording was an outgrowth of the unofficial on-camera therapy sessions undertaken for that.

“A year ago, we started making a documentary with just the intention of telling what an incredible story these brothers have of taking this journey together and growing up in the public eye together as a family, and the ups and downs of it,” says McIntyre. “And it was not to necessarily make new music or anything like that. So it unfolded in the most authentic way possible, and I think that’s part of why there was an element of surprise, because for the most part when they were seen together, most people thought it was for the documentary.”

When did a documentary shoot turn into a resumption of the Jonas Brothers as a commercial and artistic enterprise? “I would say it was toward the end of the summer last year,” McIntyre says. “Because we probably did four or five different trips with the brothers: They went to Australia where Joe was shooting ‘The Voice.’ They went to Jersey and to a couple other locations, and probably after the fourth or fifth location, they had sort of processed through so much of the things that tore ‘em apart earlier in their career, and just started to get honest with each other. And there’s a magic to when they’re together, and as much success as anyone’s had on their own solo journey, it doesn’t necessarily compare to what they’ve experienced as brothers. So it was toward the end of summer that they started to have the conversations around it, and it was at that point that I said, ‘I’ve got to get with Monte and talk through this.’ Because in my mind, there was only one place to do this, and that was with Republic. I just knew that they would they would be able to nail it.”

Finding a new label home for the Jonas Brothers, many years after their departure from Disney’s Hollywood Records, wasn’t a stretch. Republic had had Joe’s interim project, the group DNCE, and been jointly involved with Island Records on Nick’s solo career.

Lipman says he didn’t offer any preferences for which stylistic direction the Jonas Brothers should take their new music, once he was brought in. “Monte Lipman? No,” he chuckles, as if the idea that he’d get personally involved in their A&R is a laugh. “I learned a long time ago just let them let them do their thing. The cool thing about working with the Philymack camp in particular and the Jonas Brothers as their partners is that when they come to the table, so much of it is been vetted, and ‘Hey, this is the way we’d like to present the music. This is the aesthetic.’”

But Goldstein did get highly involved as recording continued — and had a strong preference when it came time to pick a single out of the supposed two albums’ worth of material the trio has recorded. “There are some really powerful bangers ready to go,” she says. “But ‘Sucker’ just had a vibe. It felt like a great way to come out. I think everybody agreed on that.” After her persuasiveness, anyway. “There definitely was a debate as far as what the first look would be,” says McIntyre,  “and to Wendy’s credit, she was the one who said, ‘I feel strongly that “Sucker” is the right first sound and first song.’”

“Sucker” is much more akin to the dance-oriented material Nick and Joe have done in the interim years than the guitar-based, power-pop sound the brothers played in the 2000s. At recent “secret” shows in New York and L.A., the group sounded like they did in the first part of their career — that is, like a straight-up, heavy-on-the-hooks rock band — and they rearranged the one new song they played, “Sucker,” just enough that it fit in with the guitars-and-live-drums ethos of their old sound. But that may not be an indication of where the eventual album will be headed.

“Creatively, they’ve evolved, as any artists would after a decade,” says Goldstein, not quite willing to commit them to a genre. “I don’t think it’s tied to any era in particular. They were adamant about making an honest, real and somewhat raw comeback. They draw on their history together, but it’s an exciting new chapter.” McIntyre is a little more committal about how fans shouldn’t expect the new material to exactly revive the 2000s: “I would say that you will be able to see and hear the influences of what Joe did in his solo career and what Nick did in his solo career come together in a very natural way.”

It was a good time for the brothers to reunite, personal reasons aside, because although their solo endeavors had kept them somewhat in the limelight — Nick as a solo artist and Joe with DNCE had both made the top 10, and had ongoing success on the dance charts — neither had had such an ongoing run of hits that a resumption of the brother act would seem like a step backward. Nothing was guaranteed: The last time the Jonas Brothers tried coming back after a layoff, in 2012-13, on an indie label, the media and radio weren’t much interested, and their personal disagreements took such a toll that a planned album and tour were canceled as they officially broke up. But clearly a few years of their absence as a collective made the public heart grow fonder.

“They were part of a lot of people’s most influential years, of their childhoods or beyond,” says McIntyre, “and so I think that the timing of them bringing those positive, good times has resonated, and people appreciate them now for being the soundtrack to their lives.” Plus, there’s the small matter of the song being good, “so we do get the opportunity to get a whole new audience that isn’t there for nostalgic reasons. It’s very much a two-pronged strategy.”

As for an album, “We’re working through the timeline now,” McIntyre says. “I think everybody would like to get it out as quick as possible, so I would look to the first half of this year.” As for a live return, the brothers had 35 minutes of material very solidly rehearsed for their secret El Rey show last week, but the nature of a tour is still under discussion. Picking up where they left off at the height of their careers, in arenas, has been part of the conversation, but so have more modest venues. Nick leaves this week to shoot a “Jumanji” sequel, which may put a slight speed bump in those discussions.

Will the documentary, done in partnership with Amazon, come out simultaneously with the album? “As of right now they’re separate things,” McIntyre says, “but we’re looking at it. Because as you tell this story, you realize that so much of the story revealed itself through the process that then led to the music. So we’re playing with just how to kind of roll out the two bodies of work.”

McIntyre says some healing had gone on before work on the documentary started, but the filming process caught any sense of alienation further breaking down. “I think that they are like most families out there — that they had touched on the issues enough to be able to move forward, but they didn’t really get into it,” says the manager. “They didn’t go into the depth of where the hurt was each one of them really felt in those moments, and being able to articulate it and explain it to each other. That was a discovery along the way of making this. It wasn’t something that we knew was there, necessarily; it was once we got into it, we sort of all looked at each other and were like, ‘Wow, there’s a lot of layers to this that need to be discussed.’”

Lipman also says the documentary will further reveal that the reunion “is not a marketing ploy. It’s not anything that was calculated. It wasn’t a money grab.” But if they’re able to mint some out of the finally refreshed brotherly love, that will be a significant Jonas bonus.

Source: Variety

#jonas brothers #phil mcintyre #monte lipman #text #article #2019

[words-that-made-me-fall]

Risking Stars

Hanktonio (Hank Voight/Antonio Dawson) established relationship, multi-chapter (#risking stars)

Summary: His heart was pounding in his ears, the frigid air stinging his face. He was shaking, whether it was the cold, the adrenaline or the fear, he didn’t know. He didn’t care about any of that right now though. The only thing he cared about was finding Antonio. *~*~*~*~* Hank Voight has absolute confidence in his team’s abilities. However, some things were not within their power to control, and that could mean life or death for any of them.

Warnings: Non-consensual drug use, some violence, a bad word here and there

Inspired by, and for @hardcore-flower!

(chapter one HERE) 

Chapter two: Antonio

“You want to get out of here? Introduce me to Enrique Cuenca.”

Broyles looked at him in disbelief, eyes flitting over to Hank’s, who met his eyes squarely, “Really? That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

*~*~*~*~*

“Tomas.”

Antonio pushed off the wall he was leaning against at Santos’ approach.

“Boss wants us to dump the truck,” Santos tossed a bag to him and continued walking without waiting for a response or for Antonio to follow.

They loaded the truck and car and drove out separately. The silence they had been in lasted through torching the truck and a few minutes into their drive back. Out of the four guys in Cuenca’s crew, Antonio preferred Santos’ company to the others’ so far. He was older, laid back, didn’t ask too many questions and kept to himself for the most part. While he wasn’t immediately extending a hand in friendship, at least he wasn’t an outright dick.

“You got family, Tomas?”

Antonio looked over at Santos, who didn’t take his eyes off the road in front of him, “A son.”

“Mom’s not in the picture?”

“We separated a few years back.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“Was for the best, really.”

“So you’re doing this for your son?”

“Yeah,” Antonio answered, wondering where the other man was going with this, “He’s the best thing I’ve got going on in my life right now.”

“I have a daughter. Her husband died, left behind her and their newborn son,” Antonio’s heart broke for Santos and his family. This man was trying to help his family. And this was always the hardest part about working undercover, “I do it for them.”

It sounded like Santos was trying to remind himself more than he was trying to tell Antonio.

When they got back, an angry Cuenca stormed off to his car, phone in his hand, muttering something under his breath.

“What’s up with him,” Antonio wondered aloud.

“How about you leave him to his business,” Santos snapped.

Antonio looked over at the man, but his eyes were still locked on where Cuenca had disappeared. He seemed troubled by their boss’ behavior too, though.

Santos caught Antonio watching him and shook his head with a muttered, “Your guess is as good as mine, anyway.”

*~*~*~*~*

“Something’s got him on edge,” Antonio explained to his three superior officers, “He’s constantly checking his phone, he’s second-guessing his decisions, snapping at his guys.”

“Anything on Medrana?”

Antonio shook his head, gravely, “Haven’t seen him or heard of him. There’s a guy in the crew - Santos - I think I could get him to talk to me, find out what might be going on and what happened to Medrana.”

“They planning anything soon?”

“Yeah,” Antonio thought he caught a flash of annoyance on Sergeant Montgomery’s face - it wasn’t Antonio’s fault he was doing the man’s job for him - as he answered Lt. Beck, “They’re meeting a buyer tomorrow night at Rickman’s Auto. Supposed to unload a few kilos of H.”

“We could bring them in,” his own sergeant suggested, “lean on them.”

As they waited for Lt. Beck to make a choice, Antonio noticed Montgomery rolling back and forth on his feet, cold maybe, or impatient, or both.

“We’ll take ‘em at the buy,” Beck decided. He looked at Antonio, “If you can, try to find out what happened to Medrana.”

He would, because something told him that they may not be able to force the answers from Cuenca and his crew.

He and Hank stayed back while Lt. Beck and Sgt. Montgomery left. When they were alone, Antonio leaned back against the railing and brought his hands up to blow warm air against his fingers. Hank stepped closer and reached up to cover Antonio’s hands with his own gloved ones.

“Sorry, I forgot to bring them.”

Antonio chuckled, bringing his hands down and turning them to grasp Hank’s, “It’s fine.”

Hank squeezed his hands lightly, “Are you okay?”

Antonio let out a sharp breath, “Yeah, I’m good. But the sooner we get this over with, the better,” Hank’s concerned gaze made him want to brush off his own unease, but he wasn’t going to lie to his partner, “Cuenca makes me nervous. He’s too unpredictable. His crew is feeling it, too.”

Hank studied him closely before he spoke, quietly, “You don’t have to do this. We can find another way.”

“No, I can do this.”

The older man shook his head, smiling, “I know you can. I’m saying you don’t have to.”

And that was the greatest reassurance, knowing this man had no doubts in his capabilities and would always have his back.

“We’re close. I just have to wait him out until tomorrow.”

Hank nodded, easily accepting his answer. And the confidence Hank held for him, shown plainly on his face, made him love the man even more.

“I should go,” Antonio sighed. He didn’t make any move to leave though, betraying how much he’d rather stay here, with Hank.

He brought a hand up to cover Hank’s, which was now resting against his neck.

“Be careful.”

“I will.”

*~*~*~*~*

“Forget it, the buy is cancelled.”

Antonio looked up as Cuenca walked into the room. He was stuffing his phone into his pocket and he looked angry.

Internally, he cursed. Intelligence was waiting to grab them at that buy.

“Boss, what’s going on?” one of the guys, V, asked,

Cuenca didn’t answer, instead he ordered, “Find Jamie. I want to talk to him. Now.”

He left without another word, his crew looking at each other in confusion.

“Well, you heard the man,” Pama shrugged, pulling out his phone and dialling Jamie.

When there was no answer on the third call, Pama sighed, “He’s probably tweaking, passed out in his favorite spot.”

“I’ll get him. Nick,” Santos nodded at Antonio, “you’re with me.”

They were driving when Antonio finally asked, “Is he always like this?”

Santos let out a long breath, “No. He’s only been like this since…” he paused as if considering whether or not he should be saying this, but continued, “since Fabella, the guy who’s spot you filled.”

Medrana. Antonio’s heart pumped faster when he realized he could finally figure out what happened to his fellow detective. “What happened to him?”

Santos must have been really bothered, because he just came out with it, “All I know is Enrique comes back from somewhere, and he’s furious. He pulls Fabella out, saying he needed his help, has something for him to take care of. Then, Enrique comes back, and Fabella never did.”

“Did he kill him?” Antonio asks quietly.

“I don’t know.”

They find Jamie at the lake, and bring him back to Cuenca. Antonio has a bad feeling about it all, but his presence is demanded elsewhere, and by the time he’s back, Jamie and Cuenca are gone again.

*~*~*~*~*

The day after Jamie’s death, Antonio’s terribly on edge. He’s hoping he’s not too obvious about it. Cuenca’s been out all morning, and none of the guys know what’s going on either.

Antonio’s phone sits like a two-ton weight in his pocket. He just needs to let Hank know when Cuenca arrives and they can make their move. But the man isn’t here.

They’re scattered around, doing their own things, when Cuenca bursts through the door, and he is livid.

“Boss?” V calls, alarmed. And he’s not the only one. Everyone is shocked by his abrupt behavior, Antonio more so when he realizes Cuenca is headed straight for him.

So he doesn’t have time to react to the punch thrown at his face.

He can feel the skin of his cheek split with the hit, and then he’s on the ground. The guys are frozen in their spots as Cuenca searches his pockets and grabs his phone, only to smash it under his boot. He pats him down, and when he’s satisfied Antonio doesn’t have anything else on him, pulls him off the ground by his collar just to punch him in the face again.

“Police scum!” the man yells furiously, punctuating each word with a kick to Antonio’s midsection.

He can’t hear anything over his own gasps for breath, but he’s pulled to his feet, and then he’s deposited in the corner, and tied to a pipe, his mouth covered with a strip of duct tape.

Dammit. Dammit.

*~*~*~*~*

As it got dark out, Santos and Pama marched him to the car behind Cuenca, and they drove to a familiar construction lot. He’s dragged past the Crime Scene tape, and to the edge of the lot, where they finally stop.

Cuenca’s back is turned when he feels two small items dropped into his pocket on his right side. He looked over, and Santos gave him a small nod, his face determined. When Cuenca turned around, Antonio noted the gloves as he threw a pair of zip ties to Pama.

“Re-tie his hands behind his back.”

The order is barely finished when he is kicked in the back of the knees, and he drops to the ground.

His hands are freed, only to be forced behind his back and tied up again.

Cuenca reached into his pocket, and Antonio’s eyes widened at the sight of a small syringe.

He motioned for Pama and Santos to leave, and they did, Santos hesitating a split-second.

“Police,” Cuenca spat, uncapping the needle, “Well, your death will look no more noble than those you stuff into cages.”

Fear tore at his insides as Cuenca grabbed his hair. He fought his grip hard, but it was useless, as Cuenca easily jabbed the needle into his shoulder and pushed the liquid out of the syringe.

His head wrenched forward, Antonio was blindsided by the knee that collided with his head, and collapsed to the ground, stunned. Cuenca dropped the needle to the ground, and walked away.

He tried hard to get his bearings, but he was seeing stars.

When he was finally able to think, he felt the panic coming back full force. Knowing he had to keep calm and call for help, he took a few steadying breaths, then rolled to his side, moving his hands to his pocket and trying to slide the items out.  

With some difficulty, he slipped what turned out to be his knife and a cell phone out of his pocket. He exposed the blade and started cutting at the zip ties. It was while he was doing so, however, that he started to feel it. It was like a cord snapped, leaving him floating in a vacuum. The ache in his ribs, in his head disappeared. A wave of calm washed over him, his hands slipping, and as he tried to keep his head on task he could feel the knife slip a few times and slide against his wrists.

When the ties snapped off, and he reached for the phone, his limbs were starting to get heavy. He struggled to keep his eyes open as he typed out the numbers and called.

Hank’s voice.

His chest felt heavy, and he rolled to his back, eyes taking in the dark sky above him.

The stars above him were comforting, a beauty, like Jamie said. No wonder Jamie liked it out here.

*~*~*~*~*

He was so tired, but he forced himself to open his eyes. He was pulled against something, someone, warm and solid. Alarm rang dully in his head, until he recognized the voice in his ear.

“Hank?” What was going on? His partner sounded distressed. Where were they? It was pitch dark.

“Yeah, I’m here.” He couldn’t keep up with what was going on. He couldn’t even catch up.

He could feel himself shaking. His joints were stiff, made more apparent when he was pulled to his feet, and could barely stand on his own two legs.

Stumbling along as Hank led him to the car, he was glad when he finally leaned into the seat, exhaustion hitting him.

The warm air felt good, so he leaned into its path, and everything faded away, until Hank leaned him back against the chair, and a few seconds later, pulled him out of the car and then helped him lay couch.

*~*~*~*~*

“Oh god. Antonio?” Kim’s scared face was above his. She turned around quickly and he heard her place something light on the table.

The fog in his mind was hard to fight through. Where was he?

He tried to move, but he was forced to stop when his muscles protested, painfully. The movement also brought a pounding in his head, and he squeezed his eyes shut against the pain.

“Can you drink this?”

Opening his eyes a bit, he saw the cup in Kim’s hand, a straw poking out in his direction. And, his dry throat and thirst made itself apparent then.

She helped him drink and let him settle back against the pillow. He closed his eyes, and tried to relax past the ache in his bones.

Sometime later, he didn’t know how long, he heard Hank’s voice again.

Cracking open his eyes, he looked around the dark room, but didn’t see anyone.

A few words were slipping through, “overdosed, hospital, Montgomery, Internal Affairs…”

Then he heard the door open and close, and Hank sigh as he walked into the living room. He followed the other man’s progress as he started to clean up the first aid kit on the coffee table. When the other man paused and picked up a familiar white spray, Antonio was alarmed to see Hank’s knuckles were bruised and discolored.

“Hey,” he wasn’t even sure he’d actually spoken aloud, but Hank turned, his eyes softening as he smiled.

“Hey, you’re awake,” Hank put the tube down and squatted down close to Antonio’s head.

He let out a sigh as Hank ran a hand through his hair, feeling his headache melt away a bit at the touch. His eyes fell closed at the light kiss Hank pressed to his lips.

“How’re you feeling?” the older man murmured, resting his fingers against Antonio’s cheek.  

“Tired,” he breathed, “achy.”

Remembering the bruised knuckles, he reached a hand up to Hank’s and pulled it down to look, “What happened?” He already had an idea though.

Hank stayed silent, teeth grinding and eyes flashing in anger, before he closed his eyes to take a steadying breath.

Antonio swept his lips over the joints and dropped his hand only to reach up and put a hand to Hank’s cheek. To his surprise, when Hank opened his eyes, there were tears threatening to fall. His chest tightened at the sight, and acted on instinct. Lightly, he tugged Hank forward, pushing up to his elbow despite his protesting muscles, to rest his forehead against his.

“It’s okay. We’re okay.”

Hank nodded shakily, wrapping his arms around Antonio firmly and resting his head against the crook of his neck.

#fanfic #hanktonio #multichapter #risking stars #drugs #established relationship #love #hurt/comfort

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 1 Part 5

The next part is here ! Let’s see what will happen to our guys :)

Liam Monday September 25

Nonchalantly, the young lad headed towards the kitchen. He just woke up, and he felt unmotivated. Why are we forced to start lessons on the morning ? He would have prefer to work only the afternoon. The unicorns were still asleep, lucky magical creatures ! Anyway, he opened the fridge and took the jam (his mother gave him strawberry jam), then grabbed the bread and prepared his breakfast. From his position, he could hear Nick, playing videogames in the living room. Did he have been playing the whole night ? Now used to his roommate's habits, Liam was able to sleep despite the noise. And by the way, when he had gone back home from work, Nick had been still awake playing. Well, it's his life and he does whatever he wants. The young boy finished his breakfast, and headed towards the bathroom. When he passed by the living room, his friend declared :

"Get ready dude, our guests are coming soon."

At first, Liam just nodded. Then, he realised Nick said "guests". What's he talking about ?! We're waiting someone ? (Liam was a bit inattentive, he could miss some informations from time to time, but a meeting ?) (Well, after all he forgot his own mother last sunday...)

"I told you Rebecca and Colton were coming for the group project."

"Colton."

The chestnut boy feared to see Colton. After this... painful moment with Barbara and her boyfriend, he had noticed this one was in their promotion too. And moreover, in his tutorial group. And I freaked out. But of course, Nick and Rebecca chose him for the project. Feeling perfectly awake now, Liam looked at his roommate, thinking about a pretext to run away. Nick, slumped in the sofa, was focused on his game. Besides, the brown lad noticed with a bit of surprise a tiny roll of fat covering his friend's belly. What am I imagining ? He's just bloated because as always, he stuffed himself. After all, several empty bags of chips laid around. (Rebecca had already considered their living room to be a pigsty).

"I'm sorry Nick but... I have something to do this morning." Liam eventually ventured.

"What are you talking about ? You told me you were free to work this morning !"

I don't remember... He often didn't remember what he had said. (Which sometimes led him into troubles). But he needed a reason to avoid Colton as much as possible, or he would have to face Barbara. I might be overreacting a bit... But anyway, I'm launched into this now.

"I left something... at Pasta's Place." he lied poorly. "I need to go this morning before the lesson..."

Nick (who was still playing and fortunatly didn't see Liam face) (Liam was a bad liar, and he was blushing like hell when it came to lie) nodded slowly.

"Okay dude, just go. We'll start without you."

Once in the street alone, Liam felt idiot. He was doing all that only to avoid a conversation about his ex and his family. It's because bad things happened... To be honest, really bad things happened, but he wasn't forced to reveal everything. And the more I shun Colton, the more suspicious he will be about my behaviour. Sadly, Liam was digging himself in deeper. He had been looking to the restaurant for at least thirty minutes, wondering, when someone hailed him. It was Rebecca, and while she was coming closer, his brain started to freak out. Gosh, what is she doing here ? And what can I tell now ?

"I was looking for you." she panted, evidently left out of breath. "I ran everywhere to find you."

"Something bad happened ?" he asked.

She appeared worried, and Liam having quite a good imagination, he was thinking about the worst. Did Colton just eat Nick ? What about the unicorns ? If the forces of evils were already there...

"No, absolutely not. But you weren't coming back, and Nick told me the Pasta's Place was just at ten minutes, but you left like one hour ago. So we were getting preoccupied."

He blinked, surprised. He didn't realise how much time passed. And I didn't expected Nick to be worried... Rebecca stood up straight and stared at him, perplexed.

"Did you find it ?"

"Find what ?"

"The thing you have forgotten."

Again Liam blinked. He totally forgot he had faked forgot something. Am I having memories issues or what ? She already was considering him stupid, but now...

"Yes, I found it." he eventually whispered.

"Nice. By the way, Colton cancelled at the last minute because he had a transport issue, so we have decided to put the project back and the lesson is also cancelled... Liam, are you fine ?"

Realising he was smirking like a kid, the lad stopped. Colton isn't here. Finally a bit of luck. He smiled to Rebecca, and declared :

"We should go back now."

And he started to walk, pleased by the good turn of this morning. (After all, he just avoided Colton). (And they wouldn't work on this annoying project). (He even might go back to sleep, after all).

Later this day, at sunset, Liam was alone at home when someone knocked on the door. We're not waiting anyone... Curious, the lad opened, and ran into the last person he wanted to see.

"Hi son." greeted his father. "You're doing fine, as far as I can see."

Isaac Strucker smiled. Nonetheless, Liam didn't smile back. What is he doing here ?! Why ? When he had moved in town, the young lad had expected to never see him again. His father left the family twelve years ago, when the eldest was only six, and had just came back from time to time, without any justification. Still today, Liam remembered his mother crying, alone in her bedroom, when she discovered she was pregnant of her third child but without any man to help her. And this last summer, Isaac had come back again for... reasons. He had decided to retrieve the children. Since Liam's mother had financial problems, and  thanks to his good lawyer, Isaac won the trial, and Chloe and Luka had to move with him. By luck, Liam was becoming independant, so he avoided this situation, but he kept an huge rancor towards his father. And now he's here, in front of me like if nothing happened. The forces of evil.

"Your mother told the judge you were depressing and not eating well, but it seems to me like your are in good shape Liam." declared his father with a smirk. "I wonder what will she invent next in order to prevent me for helping my children."

"You didn't help us when we needed you." retorted the freshman.

"That's why I'm back now boy. And if you need money, I can give you whatever you..."

"I don't need your help." interrupted the lad. "I'm doing fine by myself. Why are you here ? What do you want from me ?"

Isaac lowered his eyes humbly. He almost seemed sorry, but Liam wasn't naive. He took everything from my mother. She lost her three children in the same time. That's not how you make amends. The young lad remembered those nights, when he helped his mother to take care of Luka, the youngest. He remembered the longs evenings with Chloe, alone at home while their mother worked at her second job. We always managed to live without him, and we were happy. He annihilated everything.

"I can't force you to forgive me Liam." eventually stated his father. "But even if you don't believe me, I was worried since your mother told to the court you were depressing. I just came to see if everything was fine."

He took a break, but the brown boy knew he wanted to add something. He just waited, holding his urge to punch his father. The unicorns had told him he wasn't a good idea..

"Furthermore, I think Chloe and Luka would be happy to see you during the holidays... If you agree to come at my place, of course."

"I thought they were allowed to see mom during the holidays ?" questionned Liam.

"Well, not anymore... My lawyer wanted to prove to the court she was a compulsive liar and too desesperate to be a good mother, and thanks to you, it will be easy."

"Thanks to me ?"

Isaac took off his phone, and smiled cheerfully.

"I filmed you, and, in this way the court'll see you're perfectly fine. This added with the others proofs I collected will be enough for the judge. I was pretty sure you were at my side, my son. Thanks you."

And without waiting a reaction (Liam was too astounded to react quickly), his father just left him while shouting :

"See you for the holidays !"

Rebecca Thursday September 28

"Well, I guess I just have to buy another trash can." mumbled Nick, barely disconcerted.

The young girl, as for her, was dismayed. What the fuck this trash can did to deserve this ? It was dismantled, completly destroyed. And according to Nick, it was only the last victim.

"I understand he got issues with his family, but butcher a trash... Was it necessary ?"

She started to get worried. She would manage to ignore Liam's listlessness, but since monday, he had those surgings of violence she feared.

"I guess the trash can is good for the trash can." laughed Nick. "Anyway, let's go, Theo is waiting you for the training."

"How can you be so quiet ?! Your roommate is a violent guy."

"Nope. Family is the explosive subject, but otherwise, he's totally nice. And anyway, currently, he's just a serial trash can killer. I don't know what they did to him."

"I'm not kidding dude ! You should be prudent."

Nick stared at her with entertainment.

"Are you worried for me ?"

She rolled her eyes. He's impossible. How the hell could we have become friend ?

"As you said, he's a serial trash can killer, so how long before he attacks you ?"

He stuck his tongue out, and headed towards the door with the dead trash can in his hands.

"Let's go Miss Savage !"

Once they were changed and ready to swim, Nick, still wearing his vest, sat on a bench, took his gameboy and lost his interest for her. Watching him, Rebecca chewed her lips. He wasn't doing any exercise, and he was eating junkfood all day long. Just, she had no problem with him doing this, but Bob would disapprove. He wanted her to be in an optimal environment, which meant with healthy and athletics people. Until now, she lied to him, affirming Nick was a good swimmer but... But soon, Bob will come here to see if I'm telling the truth, and he'll find out what's really going on. She had to do something. Nevertheless, she would think about it later, because Theo called her to train, and she joined him. For a moment, she did a series of lengths, focused on her performance, but then, she glimpsed Liam. The chesnut haired lad was absent-mindedly dipping his feet in the water, staring into space. He's so weird... According to Nick, he had some family's issues he didn't want to talk about. But something went wrong on monday, and since, he was destroying trash cans from time to time. Rebecca was curious. She considered him like a friend, and she wasn't the kind of people to let friends alone. And yeah, to be totally honest, she was worried for Nick. To live alone with a violent man was dangerous, especially when this one was taller and beefier than you. Consequently, she headed towards Liam, and sat next to him. (Obviously, he didn't notice her... This guy was seriously daydreaming). (Sometimes, she was jealous about this ability : he could simply be somewhere, and forget everything, simply by watching the sky... that was a kind of superpower).

"Liam, I think we should talk. Look, I saw the trash cans you destroyed, and I think you should calm down a bit, because this is scary. Yeah, Nick is scared."

It was a little lie (honestly, she was convinced Nick was afraid but didn't show it) but probably the best way to make Liam react. For that matter, he looked at her, and sighed lengthily.

"I'm sorry for Nick. I didn't know he loved his trash cans this much. Anyway, I'm fine now, so don't worry. I just needed to...unwind a bit, you see ?"

"If you have problems Liam, we're here to help you." she whispered.

Honestly, she didn't expect him to talk. She knew him now (at least as much as someone could know this moody dude) and he wasn't the kind of people speaking about himself easily. She was fine with this, because herself was a secret girl too.

"Everything's fine." he assured (as she expected). "Thanks you Rebbie, I'm gonna tell Nick I'm sorry about the trash cans. I seriously thought he hated those."

The black girl smiled and nodded, letting him go. Did he retain only that Nick loved the trash cans ? Because it wasn't my point at all...

Later this night, once the training ended, Rebecca was going to left with Liam and Nick when Laura came to her. The short blonde girl looked a bit worried. She had dark rings under her eyes, and hold her bags strongly, like if she feared to be attacked.

"Sorry to bother you Rebecca, but I may have a favor to ask you." she started quickly. "Theo can't bring me back home this night, and I wondered if you could come with me. I have... infamous neightborhood to go through."

The black girl nodded slowly. Why he couldn't escort her ? What a good boyfriend... The two girls left the pool, and once she informed Nick about her change of plans, Rebecca followed Laura. Soon, they ended up alone in the darkness, faintly lit by the only street lamp working. They walked in silence, and the big girl felt unsure as much as they keep moving. Strange noise resonated around them.

"Are you... making this walk every night ?" she asked in order to say something.

"Yes." agreed Laura. "But usually, Theo is with me, and because he's tall and strong, we avoid most of the problems."

"Only most of them ?"

A trash can fell into the floor. (Why it was necessarily a fucking trash can ? He could not be a street lamp ? Or not, because it would be really scary). Rebecca took Laura hands, ready to run, but suddenly, the whole street lit up. A bunch of girls shouted something incomprehensible and rushed her.

"Welcome to the sorority Rebbie !" yelled Laura. "Here is your private induction seminar ! Have fun !"

And before she could say anything (like the fact she wanted to sleep because she had classes tomorrow) she found herself lifted and she lost the control.

Pete Sunday October 1

This ass. This ass. The young lad could not resist but stare at this handsome ass. Theo sport a tight black swimming trunks for the tournament, and exhibited his hunky body for the great pleasure of his lover. Nevertheless, Pete could only watch by far. Obviously because Laura was there, too close, and also because he didn't succeed to please Theo again. Since his conversation with Bradley more than a week ago, the idea of gaining weight in order to attract the captain was growing in his mind. He didn't know if it was really healthy but he was like an addict asking for more drugs. I should talk to him about this but... I'm not sure how to broach the subject. Anyway, while the organizer called the 100 meter crawl swimmer, Pete headed towards the restaurant, and glimpsed Nick, Rebecca and a stranger who were looking to the pool while eating a meal. He joined them and smiled.

"Hi dudes. Can I sit with you ?"

Nick nodded, and the freshman took it for a yes. He knew Rebecca wasn't exactly liking him, but whatever. I don't care about her after all. By the way, this stranger is cute. He was brown, with a beautiful and delicate face, and two glowing blue eyes. Noticing Pete was staring at him, he introduced himself as Colton, Nick and Rebecca's friend.

"Nice to meet you." responded gladly the blond guy.

For a moment, they watched the swimmers and commentated the performances. As Rebecca declined Theo's offer to make the tournament, and because Pete as Nick were too bad, they were all just watching and supporting their team. Now that I think about it, I never saw Nick swim... Outside, the organizer declared Theo winner of the 100 meter, and they all clapped with enthusiasm.

"I knew he was the best." laughed Nick. "We should eat something to celebrate his victory."

"Eat again ?! Seriously dude, you just finished your meal !" took offense Rebecca.

"And what are you gonna do to stop me, mom ?"

Nick stood up and went to the buffet, ignoring the fact his friend was holding an insult.

"He'll finish like a fat cow." she complained. "Don't tell me I didn't warn him."

"Maybe he'll, but that's his problem you know ?" replied softly Colton. "If he prefer eat than watching his figure... As long as he's happy znd healthy, there's no need to worry, right ?"

Rebecca nodded slowly, but Pete was completly focused on Nick, who went back with a huge tray of food. Did he seriously want to eat everything ? By the desesperate look of Rebecca, he wanted to. However, around them, nobody seemed to be displeased by the glutton, and Pete found himself quite fascinated by the way Nick stuffed this food down his throat. He glanced at Theo, who was outside with some friends, and then went back to Nick. Maybe... Maybe if I do the same and gain a bit of weight... I would get Theo back... Or even better, I would have Theo only for me...

After the tournament, Pete went to Mcdo for is work, and managed to eat the most greasy food he found, before he came back home. In order to gain weight rapidly, he already had quite a good idea. Since he was member of the culinar club, he was making the diner for Mike and himself, while his roommate was doing the cleaning and the shopping. And as a football player, this one used a caloric poder (highly compound of protein) in order to maintain his muscle mass. Of course, with a high amount of exercise, it worked quite nice. However, Mike told me that when he took this poder, he had to eat less and as healthy as possible, like salads. Otherwise, it's too fat. But Pete wanted greasy food. He wasn't a big eater, his stomach had a low capacity, but the poder wasn't nourishing, so he could easily swallow it with a big plate. By doing this for several days, he would gain a bit of weight, and Theo would be turned on. That was why Pete started to prepare a huge meal for him and Mike, and then put some poder in it. Mike is doing so much sport, and is so tall, he'll not see any difference. Then, he sat on the table, and called his roommate.

"It smell delicious !" was glad this latter. "You outdid yourself... Are we celebrating something special ?"

"I heard you won the first match of the season." lied Pete. "So here's the reward."

It was a little lie, nothing too bad after all. Mike looked at him, and mumbled :

"I was on the bench the whole time but thanks I guess. You're cool."

"Yeah, I know."

They both started to eat, and for the first time in his life, Pete felt the desire to devour as much as possible, because he knew it was the only way to please Theo.

To be continued

Hope you liked it :). Well, to those who wonder, the main plot is around Liam, but through other characters we can explore more of their college society. The first chapter is also a kind of introduction. There are 6 parts left !

There is still a lot to go through, especially for our poor Liam... What in his past is so unpleasant that he wants to forget it ? Rebecca is still looking for her place in this new place, will she manage to find it ? And will Pete succeed to reconquer Theo ?

If you want to know more about Liam, don’t forget to read my previous story ; The High School Game !

See you next week ! (I hope :x)

#the college society #CS #liam #Rebecca #Pete #Liam's father is here ! #Nick vs Rebecca the war continue #Who is Colton ? #I like him #weight gain #stuffing #chapter 1 #part 5 #My Story

[nickovaughn-blog]

It’s Nick’s Birthday (and he’ll cry if he wants to) → Para 009

Where: Nick’s Apartment When: Wednesday November 8th, Nick’s Birthday. Summary: It’s Nick’s Birthday, and he has plans to go out, but nothing lately seems to go as planned. Rating: PG-13. Some vague mentions of assault and hints towards drug use.   

Nick had always loved birthdays. Whether it be his or somebody else’s. He loved the excitement of it and the idea of celebrating another year of not dying. He usually had a lot of fun on Birthdays. Today, though, he couldn’t quite grasp onto his normal level of Birthday optimism. There were certain traditions and plans that he couldn’t just drop, though. At least not without people asking him what was wrong or trying to pry him for details. Thankfully, this year, he hadn’t planned much. The first half of the day was spent with family, and now he was at his apartment waiting for Miles’ to come over so they could both go out. He didn’t want to tell him that he wasn’t particularly excited about it, because they’d just started to actually hang out again. Nick felt comfortable with him, and while he didn’t necessarily want to go out and hang out with people, he didn’t mind hanging out with him. So Miles’ was on his way, and he knew it’d be okay. The only problem was that it was getting colder, and he was not one to handle weather changes well. He needed to grab his jacket before they headed out; he knew he needed to so Miles wouldn’t question him in leaving the apartment in just a T-shirt when it was as cool as it was. If only the last place he left it wasn’t strewn across a chair in his room. He still hadn’t managed to make himself go in there yet, and his first instinct was to just say fuck it and go out without the jacket and just deal with the potential questions. He knew he had to suck it up, though. He was being dramatic, and fucking stupid. And he’d already been stupid when he freaked out on Miles. So he found himself slowly making his way towards his room, his heart beating familiarly in his chest as he did so. When he reached the closed door, he hovered his hand over the doorknob for a moment before slowly twisting it open. And seeing the room again instantly made him feel sick again. He had to close his eyes for a second and will himself not to be stupid again and turn away. Making his mind up, he straightened up and walked further in, planning on heading straight to the chair and grabbing his jacket off. And he was doing just that, eyes narrowed on the jacket and the jacket alone. And just when he reached out to grab the jacket, he spotted something on the desk in front of him and promptly froze. It was some dumb shirt that Jude had borrowed weeks ago and brought back that night. On Halloween. And Nick had never wanted to tear up something with his own hands so badly — but instead, he felt his breathing pick up rapidly and his hands begin to shake again. Without thinking to grab the jacket, he was turning sharply on his heel and striding out of the room, slamming the door sharply behind him. Shaking his head, he tried to compose himself, although whatever good mood he’d been in was now gone. Keeping his head down, he walked straight to the counter that had his phone, and picked it up —- texting Miles without even giving it a second thought. ‘I don’t think I can go out tonight.’

Miles was still reeling since the last time he’d seen Nick. It was odd to even think that that had happened to anyone close to him, let alone his best friend. And he wasn’t even there for him until days later because of their constant stupid fights. Miles really didn’t want anything like that to have to happen again — for something terrible to happen while they weren’t communicating for some ridiculous reason. Miles had reluctantly left the next morning, and they were in constant contact since then, which was helpful. And now they were going to go out for Nick’s birthday just like they always did. It was going to be okay, and normal. Just...different. But maybe different was okay. It didn’t have to be the same as it always was. Miles didn’t know what he was expecting as he neared the apartment. He was feeling a little more nervous this time around, probably because the last time he’d seen him Nick had pretty much been a nervous wreck. And Miles wasn’t blaming him, of course; but he had no idea what he would see on the other side of the door. Before Miles could even get that far, though, he got what he didn’t expect: a text from Nick, cancelling on him. Miles’ brow furrowed in confusion. Had something come up? He was close enough to Nick’s place now that he could talk to him about it there rather than over text. At least, he hoped so. Worst case scenarios flashed through Miles’ mind as he got to the door and knocked. Maybe Jude had shown up and Nick couldn’t leave. Unlikely, sure; but not impossible, and it made Miles anxious as he waited. “It’s me,” he called through the door. “D’you wanna talk?”

Nick would feel guilty about this later on, after all was said and done. But right now he felt cornered. He felt like he was being picked apart and judged --- something he didn't want to feel from Miles of all people. After everything that happened, he didn't want to feel like someone who had to be Mothered. He just wanted to feel like things were normal.  set his phone down shortly after texting Miles, turning away from the counter as he did so and running a hand through his hair. He knew in his heart he was overreacting, but he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted things to go back to normal; he didn’t want to be like this. But the idea of having to go out at that moment was just as bad as going back in the room. He didn’t want to admit it, but in the back of his mind he still felt like he could run into Jude at any given moment. And that possibility terrified him. Taking a moment to calm himself down, Nick wasn’t expecting to hear a knock at his door. Jumping at the sound, he froze for a moment before hearing the sound of Miles’ voice. Clearing his throat, he willed himself to pull it together. “Yeah — one second.” He called back, hoping the shakiness he felt wasn’t audible in his voice. Walking towards the door, he unlatched the door before pulling it open and silently holding it open for Miles to come in. “Nothings wrong.” He said quietly. “I’m okay — I just don’t think I can go out tonight. I just—” he shook his head. “If you still want to, Murphy’s getting off work soon. Maybe he could go instead.”

Miles was relieved to hear Nick’s voice, to know whatever was going on wasn’t as bad as his mind was telling him it could have been. He breathed a sigh of relief just as Nick opened the door to let him in. All looked fine as far as Miles could see. “I’m not going out without you on your birthday,” Miles insisted. That would have been a total dick move. “What...what changed your mind?” He had a feeling, and he didn’t want to push sensitive topics, but he figured he should ask anyway. Nick would tell him anything he was willing to say. “Nothing happened, right? No one came here or anything?” Not that it was any of his business. But it sort of was now. He thought he was kind of a part of this by now.

Nick: Nick wasn’t even processing that it was Birthday anymore. It didn’t even matter, he just didn’t want to have to go out. He wasn’t really sure what he wanted, but he knew it wasn’t that. “That doesn’t matter, wouldn’t hold it against you.” He said absentmindedly as the door fell shut behind the. Nick shook his head at the question, not quite sure how to answer that. “I don’t... I just don’t feel like it. Nothing happened. Not really.” He knew Miles was worried, and he didn’t necessarily want to talk, but he knew his friend was paranoid. “No one came here.” He answered, trying to weigh what he should and shouldn’t say before deciding. “I tried to go in my room again.” He tried to explain plainly without letting too much emotion overwhelm him or get in the way. He didn’t want to freak out on Miles again. “I thought I could go in there. And I thought I could go out tonight, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Miles shook his head. “No. It’s not right.” He wasn’t going to budge on that, that was for sure. “Okay. It’s fine. We don’t have to go out.” He really didn’t care. It was tradition, sure, but sometimes more important things came up. And what could he do about it? It wasn’t like he’d have fun without Nick anyway. Upon hearing he’d tried to go into his room again, Miles understood, and he felt himself deflate a little bit. He just felt...bad. Not bad for him, he didn’t pity him or anything shitty like that. He just wanted to help him and he wasn’t sure how. “Oh. Okay, well, uh...did you need something specific in there?” he tried. “I could get it for you. We still don’t have to go out but I can get it anyway.”

Nick nodded at that, truth be told barely paying attention to the conversation. He’d already made his mind up that he was staying in tonight, and it wasn’t anything like he’d done on past Birthdays, but things were different now. Everything felt different; wrong. “I’m sorry, man. Maybe sometime soon, okay?” It was a halfhearted offer, and he wasn’t completely sure he’d be able to fulfill it anytime soon, but he’d try to get it together. He didn’t want to be scared to go out places, or to his room. He never liked feeling scared. The fact that that’s all he’d been feeling lately made him feel disgusted with himself. “I just wanted my jacket. It’s on the back of my chair.” He eventually said. “If you don’t mind... I need it. It’s getting cold.” Though truth be told that was only half of the reason he wanted his jacket back so bad. “If you don’t want to go out, you could always stay here with me.” He tried to smile at him. “Can’t guarantee it’ll be any fun for you though.”

Miles nodded. “Yeah. Sometime soon.” He didn’t know how serious that was, but it was the thought that counted. He couldn’t expect Nick to do anything for him. He was going through some shit and Miles was going to respect that. Nick explained the whole jacket thing and Miles nodded. “Got it. No worries, man.” It was the absolute least he could do. “Yeah, I’ll stay here, sure. Let me go get that jacket first, though.” He gave Nick a smile before heading toward his room, opening the door and going in like it was nothing. Because for him it wasn’t, and that was the strangest part. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that someone had made Nick genuinely afraid to enter a room. Miles looked around, of course not feeling any different, but even visualizing what went down in there made him slightly nauseous, and he shook his head. Fuck Jude. The guy could burn in hell for all Miles cared. He was pulled from his thoughts when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Miles checked it, only to find a text from Lily, checking to see that they were still meeting up. Oh shit. Lily was supposed to be a part of this whole birthday celebration too. Nick was being so nice about it all, even letting Miles bring her along to his own birthday. And now Miles was about to ruin it by simply sighing out loud at the message and putting the phone back into his pocket. Lily would understand — he hoped. Nick needed him right now. Miles tried to push it out of his mind by going to get the jacket instead. He wanted to get back to Nick, to solve this whole issue of Nick’s night by just giving him the damn thing, so Miles yanked it off the chair forcefully. When he did, he must have sent something flying out of the pocket, because he heard something hit the floor with a quiet thump. “Whoops,” he said to himself, turning to retrieve whatever it was he dropped. He scanned the floor and his eyes landed on...a plastic baggie? Miles bent down to pick it up and upon closer inspection, he noticed there were pills inside. That was...strange. He wasn’t sure what to make of it at first. He picked up the baggie and examined it in his hand, thinking that this probably wasn’t just ibuprofen in Nick’s pocket in case he got a headache. He didn’t know if he should be confronting him right now, especially about something that might end up being no big deal, but that didn’t stop him from exiting the bedroom holding it, stopping in the doorway. “What’s this?” he asked directly.

Nick now he felt cornered. He felt like he was being picked apart and judged --- something he didn't want to feel from Miles of all people. After everything that happened, he didn't want to feel like someone who had to be Mothered. He just wanted to feel like things were normal. couldn’t help but feel guilty about everything. The fact that Miles was here putting up with his bullshit was one reason. Nick had never felt more weak in his life — being too scared to go into a simple room or go out to a bar was pathetic. He knew it was pathetic, and he hated the fact that Miles kept seeing him like this even if he was being nice about it. Nick didn’t want to have to rely on him; he knew he shouldn’t rely on him. But he needed his jacket. Or more specifically, he needed what was in the pockets. He was hoping that the contents would help him get through the night, and now he felt like he needed them even more than before. So even if he felt slightly bad about sending in Miles to retrieve it, he didn’t feel guilty enough to stop him. He wanted his jacket, but it felt like he needed it. Planning on slipping away to the bathroom with his jacket once Miles came back, Nick anxiously waited, tapping his foot in an offbeat rhythm as he did so. He looked up as Miles came out, expecting to see the familiar jacket in his arms. Instead, his eyes fell upon a familiar baggie and his blood ran cold. Nick froze, and almost as though it were second nature, his defenses kicked in. “Why do you have that?” He replied sharply, shoulders tensing. “Did you go through my pockets while you were in there or what?”

Miles watched the way Nick’s expression changed, how seeing what was in Miles’ hand completely shifted the mood. If that didn’t tell him something sketchy was going on then he wasn’t sure what would. “It fell out when I picked the jacket up,” he explained. It was the truth, of course, and whether Nick chose to believe it or not was up to him. Miles maintained eye contact. “What is this, Nick?” he asked again.

Nick was overly defensive, but he didn’t think this would ever happen. He was always so careful. He thought he’d shoved it so deep in his pocket that it couldn’t just fall out that easily, but apparently he was wrong. His heart now hammering in his chest for another reason, he squared his shoulders. “What’s it look like, Miles? They’re pills.” He wasn’t going to say what kind. He didn’t need to know. Nick outstretched his hand. “I need them, okay? It’s not a big deal. Just give them to me.”

Miles eyed him carefully. Did Nick really have a drug problem he had no idea about? Was he really that clueless? Or Nick was just that good at hiding it. He glanced down at Nick’s outstretched hand, but he dropped his own hand down to his side, still holding the pills tightly in his fist. “Need them for what?” he asked. “What kind of pills are they?” It may not have been his business before, but now it was. He didn’t care much about prying if this was an actual issue. “If it’s not a big deal then I think you can tell me.”

Nick was getting angry. Not necessarily at Miles, but at everything. This whole day, this whole shitty year. The fact that Miles had Nick's pills clutched in his hand like he was his Mother finding porn under his bed. "Does it matter?" He said sharply. "It's not a big deal. I just take them when I'm stressed, or whatever." They were uppers, things he'd gotten from someone he'd loosely called friend for years who specialized in that sort of thing. He wasn't really lying to him. He did take them when he was stressed, he just left out all the other times he took them when he felt he needed them. "Stop treating me like I'm six. I know what I'm doing. You're not my Dad, dude." He swallowed the lump in his throat. Who cares?"

Miles couldn’t say he was surprised by Nick getting snippy with him. Miles was completely invading his privacy but he wasn’t sure if he should care about that or not. This was definitely cause for concern. At least for him. “That’s bullshit, Nick.” He wasn’t angry, and was trying to keep his voice level. He was just...nervous, really. He didn’t know anything about this stuff. “I’m not treating you like your six. But the fact that you had to hide this from me tells me it’s probably more than what you’re letting on.” He looked down at the baggie in his hand. “I care,” he said simply. “I care what happens to you.”

Nick shook his head as Miles spoke, set to argue. He didn't want to get into this. He didn't want to give Miles more of a reason to treat him like he was a mess. At that moment, he wished they could go back to the way things used to be so badly. When Miles didn't know things about him he didn't want anyone to know. When they were friends who just hung out and had fun and made stupid jokes. "What, do I have to tell you everything? Are you my husband now too or something?" He reached out his hand again, not giving up. "Well, you need to stop. Stop worrying about me. I fucked up the other night. But I'm fine. Just give me my stuff and let it go. Please."

Miles could fight it and keep them away from Nick, but he didn’t see that doing any good right now. Especially when Nick was getting even more defensive with him. Miles raised his eyebrows at that, feeling completely taken aback. “I—” He didn’t even know how to respond to that. Uncalled for, sure; but he didn’t feel like he should hold anything Nick said against him right now. So even though it stung when it really shouldn’t, he ignored it, instead lifting the baggie to place it in Nick’s outstretched hand. “Consider it forgotten,” he lied, following up by handing him the jacket as well.

Nick would feel guilty about this later on, after all was said and done. But right now he felt cornered. He felt like he was being picked apart and judged --- something he didn't want to feel from Miles of all people. After everything that happened, he didn't want to feel like someone who had to be Mothered. He just wanted to feel like things were normal. Seeing Miles give up on the argument caused him to deflate slightly, and he slowly wrapped his fingers around the baggie before letting it fall back to his side. He reached out to grab his jacket with the other arm. "I know you think you have to look out for me. But I'm okay." He was trying to be okay. "You need to worry about yourself. And Scout." He paused for a second. "And Lily. Okay?" He swallowed. "I'm sorry for being a dick --- just. You don't have to worry about me."

Miles exhaled, folding his arms across his chest. “I already said it’s forgotten. So you don’t have to look after me now. I know where my priorities lie.” He didn’t need Nick to tell him who he should be looking out for. Especially because Nick apparently wasn’t fond of Miles’ true preferences. “Fine with me.” He uncrossed his arms to take off his own coat. “Now let’s let it go like you said. Let’s start Stranger Things over again since we didn’t focus on it last time.” It wasn’t their usual birthday tradition, but this year it would have to do. “I hope Murphy isn’t too let down.”

#009

[zrtranscripts]

Season 6, Mission 16: Poison

Report anything suspicious

JODY MARSH: Is it a bit weird that we know Pit Viper has the contract on Selma? Do they usually advertise that sort of stuff?

AMELIA SPENS: In general, their favored form of advertising is heads on spikes. I don't know how the Laundry learned Pit Viper have Selma's contract. Perhaps Sigrid wanted it broadcast to discourage others from running.

PAULA COHEN: To discourage others from running? From her Handmaid's Tale-style fertility baby serum factory?

PETER LYNNE: And they weren't even injecting babies with zombie spit in Gilead.

AMELIA SPENS: [parks vehicle] Well, this is as far as I can take you. Highgate, the badlands of London. Well, some of the worse lands. Anyway, I'm not getting nearer the Pit Vipers than this.

PETER LYNNE: Surprised you got as close as this, to be honest. You going soft?

PAULA COHEN: Or do you like us, Amelia?

AMELIA SPENS: I've always liked you, but liking has nothing to do with business. And this is business. Buying out Selma's contract is worth a shot. If you manage to deal with Pit Viper, they'll be grateful I sent the business their way. And if you don't make a deal with them, they'll be grateful I sent their targets their way. Win-win-win.

JODY MARSH: I'm always surprised. I should try to stop being surprised. That could be my New Year's resolution, actually: don't be surprised when Amelia seems helpful, but actually has an angle.

AMELIA SPENS: Oh, but if you weren't surprised, it would hardly be as much fun! Right, you lot. Pit Viper's HQ is in the London Underground. You have my directions. You'll have to do some fast talking when you get there. 

See up there, amid the plumes of oil fires and the burned buildings? That hellscape is what remains of Highgate Station, and is absolutely the safest way into the Underground, this side of the wall. Well, I've got to be back at New Canton soon for an oil treatment. Go on. Do what you do. Run!

PAULA COHEN: It doesn't sound safe.

PETER LYNNE: It's not likely to be safe. I heard the London Underground was totally filled with zombies.

PAULA COHEN: I heard there were enclaves down there. Found their way to the Cold War bunkers and have been living off old tinned SPAM ever since.

JODY MARSH: We've got to do this. Pit Viper are after us and after Selma, but they're neutral. Like Amelia, they just go to the highest bidder. So if we can buy out both our contracts, they'll be working for us against Sigrid, not against us. And I'm sorry, Peter, Paula, Five, but you've all shown you're more indestructible than most.

PETER LYNNE: No, that's fair. I've got more lives than a Christmas number one, and I like to think I'm not quite as annoying.

PAULA COHEN: [laughs] If you want annoying, I'll sing you the dreidel song if we get through this. All right, Five. Let's get down these stairs into the pit of Hades.

JODY MARSH: Amelia's map is pretty clear. She's put it together from – oh, nice. She's written, "Compiled from the reports of those of my people who made it back alive." She says at the bottom of the staircase, you turn... towards the skeletons.

PETER LYNNE: Ooh, look, there are actual skeletons nailed up to the wall here. What delightful taste in interior decoration the inhabitants of these tunnels do have. [gasps] You could ask Zoe and Phil to do a radio segment on it, Jody. "Post-Apocalypse Decor: Dos and Don'ts."

[zombies moan]

PAULA COHEN: And to add to the ambiance, there are zombies. How chic. Five, you take the lead. Time to run.

PETER LYNNE: Oh yay! Someone's smeared this part of the wall with their own blood and feces!

PAULA COHEN: How do you know it's their own? There are viscera there. I suppose it might be somebody else's body cavity contents.

PETER LYNNE: Hmm, you make a fair point, Doctor, as you always do. Someone smeared this wall with blood, feces, and viscera of unknown origin.

PAULA COHEN: Pit Viper's doing a very efficient job of trying to put people off finding them.

JODY MARSH: That's what everyone says about them. They're an unstoppable killing machine. Once they've taken on a job, they never give up. There are no lengths they won't go to to do what they’ve set out to.

PETER LYNNE: Well, if you're going to be a deadly assassin force, at least be an excellent one, I suppose. You know, I think this is almost as bad as commuting in London before the apocalypse.

PAULA COHEN: Oh, I don't know. At least we're getting somewhere. No one's canceled our transport, and we don't have to deal with Southern Rail apologizing for our inconvenience in a totally unconvincing way, which makes it clear that, ideally, they'd like to inconvenience us some more. Possibly using blood, feces, and viscera of unknown origin.

[train creaks]

JODY MARSH: Guys, a train has just come loose from its siding uphill from you. It's rolling towards you!

PETER LYNNE: Is that a coincidence, or does someone know we're here?

JODY MARSH: No time to find out now. Run!

PETER LYNNE: Paula, Five, up here!

PAULA COHEN: Five, take my hand!

[train passes, PETER LYNNE and PAULA COHEN laugh]

JODY MARSH: Wow, that was close!

PETER LYNNE: You know, last time I was in London, something similar happened to me. Your wife almost didn't save me, Paula. I think she'd have left me there to be crushed by the train. 

PAULA COHEN: But would you rather she had?

PETER LYNNE: [laughs] I think maybe I would have, then. I don't know. It's funny, isn't it? Keep expecting this grand moment. Flash of meaning where I realize what I'm for, and why I'm like this. It didn't come. Had to work it out for myself.

PAULA COHEN: Yeah, I know what you mean. For a long time, I asked myself, why me? Why was I infected? Why is it me who can't even play with my daughter without checking myself for nicks and scrapes every time? There's never an answer. Why did one person die in the apocalypse and another didn't? Because we're all subject to the laws of randomness of the universe.

PETER LYNNE: I like that. We're a playlist on shuffle. Things just come up. Sometimes you think you see a pattern in them, but it's you making the pattern, not the world.

PAULA COHEN: Ugh. More zoms I think, Jody.

JODY MARSH: Um, Amelia's map says it's an enclave of city commuters.

PETER LYNNE: I see them in the dark corner of the platform. 10 of them. Teeth filed to points, and pinstriped loin cloths. They're holding – are those broken shards of iPad?

PAULA COHEN: Not too dangerous, then.

JODY MARSH: Amelia's map says they dip them in a noxious compound of flesh-eating bacteria that can destroy even zombies. She also says, "Do remember, bankers are the ones who ran the economy off a cliff. They know how to muck stuff up."

PETER LYNNE: She's got a point. Which direction?

JODY MARSH: Straight ahead, then right. Go.

[spear thunks into wall]

PETER LYNNE: And one final spear outrun. The bankers have given up for now.

JODY MARSH: Amelia's notes say, "Don't kid yourself. They'll be back, and in greater numbers." I think she put that stuff in because she thought Sam would be on this mission. Have you noticed how they're getting friendly since they've been working on the baby rescue together?

PAULA COHEN: Yes, but I don't like to think about it. We'd better keep moving. How far are we from Pit Viper now?

JODY MARSH: Amelia's notes - mm. Get a bit sketchy here. She says, "If you get this far, you'll have done better than most people I sent down here. I think the commuters ate most of them! Well, you should find Pit Viper if you continue down the tunnel until you find another train. Or a building."

PAULA COHEN: That's vague.

PETER LYNNE: Oh, God. Look at that.

JODY MARSH: What are you seeing?

PAULA COHEN: Peter's pointing to... the wall of the platform?

PETER LYNNE: No, the shadows. The shadows, they're following us, look!

PAULA COHEN: Oh, no. It's headless zombies, Jody. Those indestructible zombies. The ones you can't kill by taking the head off! They must be behind us. We can see their shadows. God knows what would happen if one of them bit me.

PETER LYNNE: Or me, or Five. We've got to get out of here. Run!

[zombies growl]

PETER LYNNE: They're not getting any closer.

PAULA COHEN: They're not getting any further away!

PETER LYNNE: Yes. Peculiar. They've been exactly keeping pace with us, just a little behind us the whole way. Just a sec. Stop a moment.

PAULA COHEN: Stop?

PETER LYNNE: Just three seconds. I'll time it. One Mississippi, two hippopotamus, three extraterrestrial. Look.

PAULA COHEN: They've... stopped.

PETER LYNNE: Intriguing, isn't it?

PAULA COHEN: What are you doing?

PETER LYNNE: Heading back a bit to see what's going on. I shouldn't think Pit Viper will thank us for leading a horde of indestructible zombies to their hideout. Probably won't put them in a deal-making mood.

PAULA COHEN: Fair enough. Something is off here. Let's go with, Five. Huh. Would you look at that?

JODY MARSH: Again, I can't see.

PETER LYNNE: They are decapitated zombies with their heads in their arms.

JODY MARSH: So maybe get out of there?

PAULA COHEN: They're nailed to a little wagon. Look. There are remote controlled brakes.

PETER LYNNE: That's incredibly efficient. Keep everyone at bay, minimum effort or danger. Brilliant tactical work.

JODY MARSH: Yeah. I've heard that about Pit Viper. Always get the job done.

PETER LYNNE: Yes... yes, they would.

PAULA COHEN: Watch out. Someone's coming. It's... a train guard. She's still wearing her RMT uniform.

GUARD: I see you've passed the final obstacle. You must be here for the Pit Viper.

PETER LYNNE: Why, yes, we are.

GUARD: Come with me now. Run!

[classical music plays]

JODY MARSH: Where are you guys? My cams are giving me nothing.

PAULA COHEN: Jody, it's actually lovely! Nice, quiet tube carriage. Upholstered seats, curtains on the windows. Pit Viper have set themselves up well. Protected and secure.

PETER LYNNE: Feared by everyone, they can go anywhere. Talk to all sides. How very, very clever.

GUARD: Are you ready to meet the Pit Viper?

PETER LYNNE: Oh, I think we are.

PAULA COHEN: Jody, there's a door at the end of the carriage. The guard is just -

GUARD: [opens door] Step inside, please.

JODY MARSH: Where are you, now?

PAULA COHEN: An office. Very tidy. Utilitarian. A map of the new UK on the wall, and there's... a person in a viper mask sitting behind the desk.

GUARD: I'll leave you now with the Pit Viper. You parley alone.

PAULA COHEN: Yeah, um. Thank you. [door closes, music turns off] Uh, Pit Viper. We're here from Abel Township. We know you have a contract on us, and... we wanted to discuss it. [sighs] Oh, look. Would you mind taking the mask off?

[cloth rustles]

JODY MARSH: Are they doing it? Taking the mask off?

PETER LYNNE: Yup.

PAULA COHEN: Oh, Jody. You'll never guess who Pit Viper is.

JODY MARSH: Is it - ? Oh God, it's not Sigrid, is it?

JANINE DE LUCA: No, Miss Marsh. It's me, Janine.

#zombies run #zrs6 #s6m16 #poison #zr transcript #zrs6 spoilers

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The Best ‘Bachelor In Paradise’ Finale Recap You’ll Ever Read: The Last Day Of Amanda’s Childless Vacation

Well fam, we did it. We made it to the finale of and all it took was one sex ed class from Chris Harrison, a crudely mishandled sexual assault allegation, the downfall of Dean, and more scallop jokes than were really necessary. BUT WE FUCKING DID IT. I feel like I’ve aged 20 years in the process and my liver has definitely taken a hit here, but I guess I’ll do anything for cause to watch reality TV rejects fornicate on a Mexican beach, even if it jeopardizes my health and wellness. It’s important to know yourself.

Side note: I have now convinced my roommate—and her German friends from out of town staying with us this week—to watch this show. I’m really making strides with US-German relations here. Just call me a fucking ambassador.

Anyway, the episode starts with Chris Harrison emulating my mother when she inquires about my love life at massive family gatherings asking the remaining cast members to define their relationships. He’s really taking his responsibility as host to the next fucking level.

^^Actual footage of Chris Harrison in Paradise rn

Dean looks legitimately terrified at the thought of marriage even though barely three months ago he was going to PROPOSE to Rachel. Whatever.

Lol I love how Chris just dips after dropping this truth bomb. Like, if you want to stay in Mexico and have semi-decent accommodations with free WiFi and actual walls for your room then you’ll need to 100 percent commit to this person you’ve been dry-humping all summer. Can’t wait to watch these people implode under that kind of pressure.

So let me get this straight. Basically their choices are: go on a date to figure out what they are, leave as a couple, or get engaged? That’s what you’re telling me rn? ABC, have you SEEN the men you forced these dime pieces to socialize with? Have you?!

Jesus Christ. I rest my fucking case.

Lacey is the first one on the chopping block to be vulnerable. She asks Daniel if he’ll go on this date with her so they can continue to see where this blight upon humanity relationship goes. I’m watching this whole interaction and all I can think is, Daniel has all the makings of someone that should be attractive but yet instead makes me want to rip my fingernails off and claw my eyes out with the bloody stumps. Ya know?

LACEY: I’m really, really, REALLY desperate enjoying my time with you. Will you go on this date with me?

DANIEL: I’m not done with you yet. You still haven’t seen the fireworks in my pants.

ME: 

Jack Stone goes next. He pulls Christen aside and asks her to be his girlfriend because apparently this is the eighth fucking grade. Seriously though, am I watching or an episode of ? It’s honestly hard to tell.

JACK STONE: I want to leave Mexico holding hands with you.

CHRISTEN: lol

Wow this conversation is not going well at all. Jack Stone keeps bringing up the hand holding thing and Christen looks genuinely alarmed that he thinks he can even breathe the same air as her once they get back to the States.

“Does he think we have a love story?” — Christen for the fucking win right here.

*slow claps* That’s it, I’m team #ScallopFingers forever. Honestly, I’ve never been more proud of a virgin who can’t drive.

My German friend after sitting through barely 15 minutes of this show: I thought there’d be more nudity.

Honestly, you’re not wrong. Same.

Adam and Raven decide to also go on the date. Adam looks shook that anyone would want to sleep with him. Aw, Adam, give yourself some more credit! All Raven’s got to compare you to is Nick!

It’s Dean and D-Lo’s turn to DTR and I don’t know if emotionally I can handle watching these two life ruiners ride off into the fucking sunset for a happy ending. I just don’t know if I can stomach it—WAIT. Did he just dump D-Lo?? FOR KRISTINA?? 

I. AM. SHOOK.

Dean keeps talking about how he fucked up and he misses Kristina and all I can think is:

Side note: Does Danielle L have butterflies tattooed on her the backs of her ankles? She does, right? And it’s all starting to make sense now.

Last but certainly least, we have Amanda and Robby, a couple I do not give one single shit about. They have their talk and Amanda completely breaks down at the thought of having to spend the rest of her life with Robby and his Instagram followers. And, like, same girl. That sounds terrifying.

ROBBY: I just don’t understand. Why would you do this?

AMANDA: Honestly, this was just a paid vacation away from my kids. Don’t push it.

THE FANTASY SUITE DATE

The three remaining couples sit down with Chris Harrison and are told that this isn’t just any date they’ll be going on, but a fantasy suite date. So no more dressing in drag or hot tamale eating contests, the cast members will actually have to, like, connect with one another tonight. Wow. This show is wild.

Everyone pretends to be shocked by this news but, like, let’s not pretend that y’all haven’t been screwing on sand dunes all summer long. Please.

Lacey professes her love for Daniel and he’s like, “yes let’s make this Facebook official.” And they say romance is dead. Tbh this is the first time I haven’t been completely disturbed by Daniel’s presence. You’ve really changed him, Lacey.

Next we get to see Derek and Taylor’s date even though I completely forgot that these two were on the show. They’re really making lasting impressions here. Taylor says something about needing to emotionally and spiritually connect with Derek bang him before they can pursue something more serious.

GERMAN FRIEND: Did I get the language right? Did she just say if the sex is good they can officially date?

Yes, yes you did.

Adam and Raven have their date and Adam pops the fantasy suite question. You can literally see Nick and his sexless turtleneck flash before Raven’s eyes. She’s v nervous about saying yes to the fantasy suite because she can’t fake an orgasm be vulnerable one more time.

AFTER THE FINAL TEQUILA SHOT ROSE

Okay this segue from Raven and Adam’s date to the tell-all portion is really throwing me off. I’m feeling v confused rn. Did  Raven sleep with Adam? Why is this a cliff hanger? Who is responsible for cutting the footage of this episode?? ANSWER ME, ABC.

Of course the sexual assault scandal is STILL being talked about. Like we get it, ABC. You don’t want us to morally blame you for ruining two people’s lives for TV ratings. Your message is loud and clear.

Chris brings out DeMario and Corinne for the world’s most awkward reunion.

CHRIS HARRISON: So where do you go from here?

DEMARIO: Well I’m going to therapy.

CORINNE: I am also in therapy.

Thanks, ABC! I feel SO much better about these two now!! It’s good to know they’re doing so well!

Tbh I could give a shit about the rest of these losers but this whole Kristina-Dean-DLo thing?

They put Dean in the “hot seat” and he looks low-key terrified. Like he knows that every woman in the audience wants to castrate him rn. Side note: can Chris Harrison put other people’s exes in the hot seat? Asking for a friend…

They show the whole Kristina-Dean-DLo love triangle footage and it’s still super hard to watch. Hard to watch in the sense that if I continue to watching it I cannot be held responsible for my actions. Just saying.

DEAN: *sobs watching the montage*

GERMAN FRIEND: He is an actor, yes?

YES.

Kristina keeps talking about how she will always love Dean and blah, blah, blah. She will 100 percent still bang him after this.

Dean gives a very heartfelt speech about how he still loves Kristina. He’s tearing up, I’m tearing up. The more wine I chug, the more I’m willing to forgive Dean and give him another chance. Kristina is one lucky bitch. Dean is reformed. Dean is beautiful. Dean is perfect, no man will ever measure up to how amazingly Dean has proven himself toda—WAIT. Danielle L says the FIRST interesting thing she has ever said on this show when she calls out Dean for calling her an hour after leaving the show. One. Fucking. Hour. AND HE’S STILL TRYING TO GET WITH KRISTINA. 

That’s it. You’re done. Cancelled. See you in hell, Deanie Babies.

And because ABC likes to waste my time, they also bring out Robby and Amanda. They were supposedly dating outside of the show for Instagram likes but broke up because they “wanted different things.” Like, Robby wanted to respond to thots’ comments on Instagram and Amanda wanted to have a father figure free babysitter for her kids. 

Meanwhile Satan’s spawn the twins are desperately trying to stay relevant by butting in every three fucking seconds into Amanda’s breakup story. Robby apparently cheated on Amanda after the show and we know this because the twins kept the receipts and are ready to blow up his spot on national television. The twins are like that friend who will key your ex’s car even though you’re the one that got cheated on, not them.

Wait. The twins are me. I am the twins.

Now we get to move on to the actual couples. Daniel and Lacey did not make it past the fantasy suites. Apparently Daniel couldn’t pretend to like Lacey for more than five seconds after hooking up. In other news, the sky is blue.

CHRIS HARRISON: Why would you say you loved Lacey if you didn’t mean it?

DANIEL: *looks at Lacey* I said I loved you? When?

And just like that, I’m repulsed again. Goddamnit, Daniel.

So I guess Raven and Adam slept together? She looks like she actually had an orgasm too. Good for you, girl. I guess all it takes to find true love is a boob job an open mind and an open heart. 

Derek and Taylor prove that they are the strongest couple on this show. Derek. And Taylor. Let that sink in for a minute, k?

Whatever. I guess Derek has a big enough dick connected with her on a deeper level in that fantasy suite because they’re still in love and making it work long distance.

Taylor keeps talking about how “naked” and “vulnerable” Derek was that night and I 100 percent believe Taylor has a crying fetish. She clearly gets off on the tears of her lovers. Don’t try and tell me different.

The season ends with Derek proposing to Taylor. It’s all very staged sweet but honestly all I can think is “I really hope a twin comes out and says she slept with him.” Where’s a twin when you need one.

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The Best ‘Bachelor In Paradise’ Finale Recap You’ll Ever Read: The Last Day Of Amanda’s Childless Vacation

Well fam, we did it. We made it to the finale of and all it took was one sex ed class from Chris Harrison, a crudely mishandled sexual assault allegation, the downfall of Dean, and more scallop jokes than were really necessary. BUT WE FUCKING DID IT. I feel like I’ve aged 20 years in the process and my liver has definitely taken a hit here, but I guess I’ll do anything for cause to watch reality TV rejects fornicate on a Mexican beach, even if it jeopardizes my health and wellness. It’s important to know yourself.

Side note: I have now convinced my roommate—and her German friends from out of town staying with us this week—to watch this show. I’m really making strides with US-German relations here. Just call me a fucking ambassador.

Anyway, the episode starts with Chris Harrison emulating my mother when she inquires about my love life at massive family gatherings asking the remaining cast members to define their relationships. He’s really taking his responsibility as host to the next fucking level.

^^Actual footage of Chris Harrison in Paradise rn

Dean looks legitimately terrified at the thought of marriage even though barely three months ago he was going to PROPOSE to Rachel. Whatever.

Lol I love how Chris just dips after dropping this truth bomb. Like, if you want to stay in Mexico and have semi-decent accommodations with free WiFi and actual walls for your room then you’ll need to 100 percent commit to this person you’ve been dry-humping all summer. Can’t wait to watch these people implode under that kind of pressure.

So let me get this straight. Basically their choices are: go on a date to figure out what they are, leave as a couple, or get engaged? That’s what you’re telling me rn? ABC, have you SEEN the men you forced these dime pieces to socialize with? Have you?!

Jesus Christ. I rest my fucking case.

Lacey is the first one on the chopping block to be vulnerable. She asks Daniel if he’ll go on this date with her so they can continue to see where this blight upon humanity relationship goes. I’m watching this whole interaction and all I can think is, Daniel has all the makings of someone that should be attractive but yet instead makes me want to rip my fingernails off and claw my eyes out with the bloody stumps. Ya know?

LACEY: I’m really, really, REALLY desperate enjoying my time with you. Will you go on this date with me?

DANIEL: I’m not done with you yet. You still haven’t seen the fireworks in my pants.

ME: 

Jack Stone goes next. He pulls Christen aside and asks her to be his girlfriend because apparently this is the eighth fucking grade. Seriously though, am I watching or an episode of ? It’s honestly hard to tell.

JACK STONE: I want to leave Mexico holding hands with you.

CHRISTEN: lol

Wow this conversation is not going well at all. Jack Stone keeps bringing up the hand holding thing and Christen looks genuinely alarmed that he thinks he can even breathe the same air as her once they get back to the States.

“Does he think we have a love story?” — Christen for the fucking win right here.

*slow claps* That’s it, I’m team #ScallopFingers forever. Honestly, I’ve never been more proud of a virgin who can’t drive.

My German friend after sitting through barely 15 minutes of this show: I thought there’d be more nudity.

Honestly, you’re not wrong. Same.

Adam and Raven decide to also go on the date. Adam looks shook that anyone would want to sleep with him. Aw, Adam, give yourself some more credit! All Raven’s got to compare you to is Nick!

It’s Dean and D-Lo’s turn to DTR and I don’t know if emotionally I can handle watching these two life ruiners ride off into the fucking sunset for a happy ending. I just don’t know if I can stomach it—WAIT. Did he just dump D-Lo?? FOR KRISTINA?? 

I. AM. SHOOK.

Dean keeps talking about how he fucked up and he misses Kristina and all I can think is:

Side note: Does Danielle L have butterflies tattooed on her the backs of her ankles? She does, right? And it’s all starting to make sense now.

Last but certainly least, we have Amanda and Robby, a couple I do not give one single shit about. They have their talk and Amanda completely breaks down at the thought of having to spend the rest of her life with Robby and his Instagram followers. And, like, same girl. That sounds terrifying.

ROBBY: I just don’t understand. Why would you do this?

AMANDA: Honestly, this was just a paid vacation away from my kids. Don’t push it.

THE FANTASY SUITE DATE

The three remaining couples sit down with Chris Harrison and are told that this isn’t just any date they’ll be going on, but a fantasy suite date. So no more dressing in drag or hot tamale eating contests, the cast members will actually have to, like, connect with one another tonight. Wow. This show is wild.

Everyone pretends to be shocked by this news but, like, let’s not pretend that y’all haven’t been screwing on sand dunes all summer long. Please.

Lacey professes her love for Daniel and he’s like, “yes let’s make this Facebook official.” And they say romance is dead. Tbh this is the first time I haven’t been completely disturbed by Daniel’s presence. You’ve really changed him, Lacey.

Next we get to see Derek and Taylor’s date even though I completely forgot that these two were on the show. They’re really making lasting impressions here. Taylor says something about needing to emotionally and spiritually connect with Derek bang him before they can pursue something more serious.

GERMAN FRIEND: Did I get the language right? Did she just say if the sex is good they can officially date?

Yes, yes you did.

Adam and Raven have their date and Adam pops the fantasy suite question. You can literally see Nick and his sexless turtleneck flash before Raven’s eyes. She’s v nervous about saying yes to the fantasy suite because she can’t fake an orgasm be vulnerable one more time.

AFTER THE FINAL TEQUILA SHOT ROSE

Okay this segue from Raven and Adam’s date to the tell-all portion is really throwing me off. I’m feeling v confused rn. Did  Raven sleep with Adam? Why is this a cliff hanger? Who is responsible for cutting the footage of this episode?? ANSWER ME, ABC.

Of course the sexual assault scandal is STILL being talked about. Like we get it, ABC. You don’t want us to morally blame you for ruining two people’s lives for TV ratings. Your message is loud and clear.

Chris brings out DeMario and Corinne for the world’s most awkward reunion.

CHRIS HARRISON: So where do you go from here?

DEMARIO: Well I’m going to therapy.

CORINNE: I am also in therapy.

Thanks, ABC! I feel SO much better about these two now!! It’s good to know they’re doing so well!

Tbh I could give a shit about the rest of these losers but this whole Kristina-Dean-DLo thing?

They put Dean in the “hot seat” and he looks low-key terrified. Like he knows that every woman in the audience wants to castrate him rn. Side note: can Chris Harrison put other people’s exes in the hot seat? Asking for a friend…

They show the whole Kristina-Dean-DLo love triangle footage and it’s still super hard to watch. Hard to watch in the sense that if I continue to watching it I cannot be held responsible for my actions. Just saying.

DEAN: *sobs watching the montage*

GERMAN FRIEND: He is an actor, yes?

YES.

Kristina keeps talking about how she will always love Dean and blah, blah, blah. She will 100 percent still bang him after this.

Dean gives a very heartfelt speech about how he still loves Kristina. He’s tearing up, I’m tearing up. The more wine I chug, the more I’m willing to forgive Dean and give him another chance. Kristina is one lucky bitch. Dean is reformed. Dean is beautiful. Dean is perfect, no man will ever measure up to how amazingly Dean has proven himself toda—WAIT. Danielle L says the FIRST interesting thing she has ever said on this show when she calls out Dean for calling her an hour after leaving the show. One. Fucking. Hour. AND HE’S STILL TRYING TO GET WITH KRISTINA. 

That’s it. You’re done. Cancelled. See you in hell, Deanie Babies.

And because ABC likes to waste my time, they also bring out Robby and Amanda. They were supposedly dating outside of the show for Instagram likes but broke up because they “wanted different things.” Like, Robby wanted to respond to thots’ comments on Instagram and Amanda wanted to have a father figure free babysitter for her kids. 

Meanwhile Satan’s spawn the twins are desperately trying to stay relevant by butting in every three fucking seconds into Amanda’s breakup story. Robby apparently cheated on Amanda after the show and we know this because the twins kept the receipts and are ready to blow up his spot on national television. The twins are like that friend who will key your ex’s car even though you’re the one that got cheated on, not them.

Wait. The twins are me. I am the twins.

Now we get to move on to the actual couples. Daniel and Lacey did not make it past the fantasy suites. Apparently Daniel couldn’t pretend to like Lacey for more than five seconds after hooking up. In other news, the sky is blue.

CHRIS HARRISON: Why would you say you loved Lacey if you didn’t mean it?

DANIEL: *looks at Lacey* I said I loved you? When?

And just like that, I’m repulsed again. Goddamnit, Daniel.

So I guess Raven and Adam slept together? She looks like she actually had an orgasm too. Good for you, girl. I guess all it takes to find true love is a boob job an open mind and an open heart. 

Derek and Taylor prove that they are the strongest couple on this show. Derek. And Taylor. Let that sink in for a minute, k?

Whatever. I guess Derek has a big enough dick connected with her on a deeper level in that fantasy suite because they’re still in love and making it work long distance.

Taylor keeps talking about how “naked” and “vulnerable” Derek was that night and I 100 percent believe Taylor has a crying fetish. She clearly gets off on the tears of her lovers. Don’t try and tell me different.

The season ends with Derek proposing to Taylor. It’s all very staged sweet but honestly all I can think is “I really hope a twin comes out and says she slept with him.” Where’s a twin when you need one.

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