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inkskinned · 10 months

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you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

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puppetmaster13u · 5 months

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Prompt 129

Danny, now an adult, has just moved to the city of Gotham. Actually he’s been an adult for a while, but every once in a while he has to end his life, at least legally, lest someone get suspicious. Usually whenever Dan or Ellie does an oopsie and pulls a firebird with being reborn through their core.

So legally, one Danyal Nightingale, has just moved to Gotham to open a bakery (Thank you for the wonderful recipes and bonding Clockwork) while taking care of his practically newborn son Jordan. Of course Elnath- Ellie- had to pull a core retreat too, which is just his luck.

It wouldn’t be a problem, but he’s trying to not be so broody. A ghost- even a half-ghost- carrying another core though, has instincts turned up to like, eleven. Which again, wouldn’t be much of a problem if not for someone falling into his dumpster late at night bleeding. A vigilante, which he’s sworn to stay away from that life years ago. And it’s not a lethal wound…

But his instincts are screaming to not let the person bleed all around his nest, and he knows from experience that it would continue to bother him. Which is how he ends up with Batman on his couch to Dan’s glee if the ghost chirps are to go by.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #potential spirit halloween #This is before Tim joined as robin but after Jason dies me thinks #Bruce is on a self destruction spiral and there was a lucky hit that managed to give him a concussion #He might cry a little when he first sees tiny baby Dan peeking at him from the crib #There's no proof of it though and he was out of it so it doesn't count #Danny is not impressed with this man's self destruction spiral #No you can't go back to wherever your base is you are sitting your ass down until your ribs are no longer bruised and youre not concussed #You can also just stay right there until breakfast is done you ancients damned idiot #Eventually Bruce will definitely realize the Nightingale family aren't human but for now he's stubbornly trying to leave #Normally when ghosts reform from cores they don't deage but that's not how it works for halfas who have living bodies #Hence them joking about it being like phoenixes or firebirds #does this count as mpreg???#idk it's like 3am rn lol

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mama-scarebear · 3 months

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I'm ready for my dance lesson Mama 🫣 x

Next time I'll make sure the blue goes Under the diaper 😳

#submission #Saved the best message in my inbox for last #Savored these pictures with every scroll through my inbox #Goodness aren't I a lucky bear to have girls rush to satisfy my wants #You look positively gorgeous and like a perfect little ballerina ready to learn #A very very well earned gold star for you ⭐️

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beanghostprincess · 3 months

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Baron Omatsuri is technically before Water 7, obviously. So now I can't stop thinking about Luffy's burden of carrying everything that happened while going through Water 7/Enies Lobby. Because, unlike what happened in the movie, in Water 7 it's not somebody taking his crewmates away from him, but themselves choosing to leave him. That's an even worse nightmare.

#we're so lucky the movies aren't canon because god luffy my boy are you okay #actually i am very sad the movie isn't canon you know how much angst that provides #it's canon to ME #one piece #monkey d. luffy #baron omatsuri and the secret island

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uncanny-tranny · 11 months

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The idea that trans people in "safe states" shouldn't still fight for their rights isn't the right thing to do, I think. In fact, I'd caution against complacency. We have to ensure that safe states stay safe states. You cannot assume your rights when they are being taken away in many other states

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #transphobia #transphobia tw #also the idea that safe states are immune from being *unsafe* for trans people is pretty wild #like sure in the USA at least there *are* worse states to be trans in #but i don't think assuming you have rights and will continue to have them in safe states will be the right move #i feel lucky to live where i do and i am grateful that i was fortunate enough to have been forced to move here...#...but i also do not feel *safe* here. hell one of the cities i wanted to study in had a huge fucking hate crime occur...#...and that's what we're calling safe. so be careful out there. there is a lot of fighting left to do and it's complex and messy...#...if you're able to foght for that then be careful and safe...#...and if you aren't able to fight don't feel guilty. just rest. it's fucking hard enough out there and you have nothing to apologize for #this post was US-centric because that is where i live but it may apply to non-US countries

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aro-culture-is · 5 months

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aro culture is getting so fucking tired of people using the fact that there's a queer romance in something as a reason you should watch it. like haven't allos had enough of romance? queer or otherwise? I'm not saying queer representation is bad, of course, I'm just fed up with asking what a book is about and in response all I get is "oh it has queer people in it" cool! what is it about? having queer representation is not the be all end all of media can we please have ONE thing without romance in it. please.

#electroniccollectiondonut #aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod phoenix #yeah... it's like. this is a bad metaphor but it's all i got right now:#i'm vegetarian. it's not uncommon that if an event is hosted 'with food' that every single main dish contains a fair amount of meat #and most of the side dishes too #maybe the salad has chicken. the soup is a meat broth soup. the main course is steak. i literally cannot tell you how often this happens.#and if you're lucky there's like... bread rolls and butter. sometimes there's the Cheap Salad that's just tossed lettuce #and i promise you from experience: if i ask beforehand i am always told there will be something for me to eat #but like. believe it or not 1) that's not filling 2) it's usually the two poorest quality items on the line 3) i prefer salads as SIDES #i see similar stuff on the occasion i'm told there's any sort of 'rep' for aro folks #it's like... okay but the vast majority of the media is still very romance focused and the elements that aren't are usually... hm #not comparably interesting in how they're executed?#or it's like. kids media. which can be good - but i'd like to be allowed to have content that can be both for an adult audience #and NOT romance

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elialys · 3 months

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"I'm fascinated with people's comments about Helen, too. Everyone talks about, 'Oh, she's dramatic, she's a mess, she's this,' and I'm like, 'Naaah'. There's a little bit more going on, but it's the 80s, so no one's gonna talk about that either. No one's gonna help, no one's gonna protect, no one's gonna save." Anna Torv [x]

THE NEWSREADER | 1.02 "Once in a Lifetime"

#Anna Torv #Helen Norville #The Newsreader #anxiety #anxiety disorder #actually convinced she's got borderline personality disorder tbh #i have been obsessed with helen & her anxiety in this episode from the moment i first watched it #so you get a giant ass gifset from me aren't you lucky #as someone who deals with anxiety this is just captivating #i feel seen but also it hurts my soul #anna is just????#incredible #do i need to mention this looks much better on desktop than mobile again?#1.02 Once in a Lifetime #gifs*#mine

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synthshenanigans · 6 months

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Okay so that means whoever makes it to the year 2100 alive, can claim themselves as the ultimate chonny jash fan

#if you can outlive the song you are the ultimate fan #id be like fuckin 97 #so like if im LUCKY pffft #tbf CJ would also apply since he's 22 so #everyone has a challenge here #i think the youngest cj fans I've seen is like 12-13? so they have a better chance but thats still like 90 years #cj fans fight to the death but in a very very slow manner #living past 20XX & you become The One #chonny jash #moss post #oh yea. pic is from the 20XX Director's Commentary #some aren't in the discord so should explain it lol #can dm me if you want the file for it btw! :D

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mokutone · 10 months

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your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

#yamswers #anonymous #dysphoria discussion #q slur — only because i literally use it in the noun form most associated w/ dehumanization #i love that u asked this on a tuesday. thank u for asking this on a tuesday #happy testosterone tuesday to all who celebrate #i also got top surgery a while ago—which is responsible for about 50% of my average suicidal idealizations vanishing #because my chest was my second biggest site of dysphoria after my voice #it was far less painful than i dared imagine. and far more satisfying. i had an excellent and lucky recovery #my results aren't perfect but oh man. the joy of being able to press my hand (flat) to my chest (flat).#the way that a binder mimics the exact squeeze around my lungs that a panic attack stimulates—#not feeling that when i'm out in public? thank you modern medicine. thank you. oh my god. no more false flag panic attacks #i had to fight my insurance for two years and all the health providers i contacted told me the hoops i was being made to jump through #seemed utterly ridiculous. and it was still gobs of money but i got it. so grateful u cannot even imagine #a lot of people describe their feelings post op as “relief—finally i could see myself”#but i experience...more delight than relief. joy. is joy the absence of pain or the presence of happiness? can i tell the difference?#on my worst days i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on

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relaxxattack · 6 months

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when i spend a whole hour reverse image searching a stim gif because one single person in a chain of stimboards decided not to credit any of the gifs they used

#those people are SO ANNOYING #because bitch i KNOW you got it from somewhere...#spend an hour trying to find alternate posts of it that aren't part of the same chain #sometimes i don't even find the OP but i got lucky and did this time thank god #why don't we all just source the OP of the gif instead of the last person you grabbed it from #because all of this chain nonsense is so annoying #anyway. rant over [insert mic drop sound effect here]#stimboards

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mrcowboydeanwinchester · 22 days

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it's JOCASSIE it's FOOTBALL AU it's PUBLIC HUMILIATION they're ENEMIES and TOXIC ABOUT IT and jo is HORNY. it's also 1.5k and called 'people want more and more' up on ao3 now hehe

#this one is the weirdddd one i was writing a few evening ago #so fun so different so weird !!#two fics in one day for you aren't you lucky !!#jo harvelle #cassie robinson #jocassie #spn fic #sapphicnatural #josjoyousbday #ola writes

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phantom-of-the-501st · 3 days

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We've Taken Different Paths and Travelled Different Roads

New fic? New Fic. 😙 A series of snapshots throughout the lives of the Domino Twins

@saturn-sends-hugs @inkstainedhandswithrings

SPOILERS FOR TBB INCLUDED

"KRIFF! Not again."

"Echo, are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Doesn't seem like you are, vod. Is it getting too much?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"YES!"

"You know, it's okay to admit that you're not doing too good. Therapeutic even. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, we all have our weaknesses. I just didn't realise yours would be a paintbrush."

"Fives, if you don't shut your mouth I will push you out of the top bunk while you're sleeping. Again."

Fives let out a dramatic gasp and clutched at his chest. "Rude! I'm just trying to help you out. If you're struggling that much-"

"I am not struggling. I just can't get this kriffing line straight..."

"Sounds like you're struggling to me."

"FIVES!"

"Hey, no need to get grouchy, vod. You're just jealous that my armour came out so flawless." Fives leant back on his hands, a smug expression on his face. Echo glanced at Fives' armour, which was laid out to dry, and his eyes fell on the tribute to Hevy.

"You made a spelling mistake."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No I did not." Fives picked up the piece in question. "You're just mad that you can't get your lines stra- KRIFF!"

Echo laughed.

_._._._._._._

"I won that one!"

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did!"

"Fives, that was an illegal move. If anything, that should get you disqualified."

"No illegal moves on the battlefield, Echo. I mean, what you gonna do in a fight? Stare a separatist down and tell them that they're disqualified from the war?"

"We're not on the battlefield, Fives. We're having a sparring match in a training room. And that was an illegal move." Echo went to the bench for a drink and to rewrap his hands. Fives was bouncing from one foot to the other on the training mat.

"You're just mad that you lost."

Echo rolled his eyes. "Illegal move, Fives. Illegal move."

"Sore loser, Echo. Sore loser."

Echo turned to stare his brother down, unimpressed. Fives just grinned back, still hopping about.

"Come on, vod. One more round. I might even let you win this time."

Stars, Echo wanted to punch his brother in the face sometimes. "Fine, one more round. But no cheating!" He pointed an accusatory finger at Fives and made his way towards the mat. Bracing his feet against the floor, and bringing his fists up, Echo tilted his head. "Shall you count down or shall I?"

"I will! Okay, five, four, three, two-" Both of their comms beeped from the bench.

Bringing themselves back to a normal stand, the two made their way back to their armour, Echo picking up his comm as soon as he reached the pile. "It's a message from Rex. He wants a meeting with us. Something about a rescue mission."

"Well," Fives said cheerfully, gathering his things "better not keep the boss waiting!"

_._._._._._._

"I'm sorry for shouting at you."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I shouldn't have been so harsh. It's just..."

"Fives, it's okay. I promise you."

Fives sighed and curled up on himself even more. "I just miss him, ya know?"

Rex came to sit next to his brother on the floor. It was cold and definitely not comfortable, but Fives didn't look like he was going anywhere any time soon. "I know, vod'ika. I know." He put his arm around his shoulders. "I miss him too. And I get why you're angry. It's not fair. Nobody deserved this, let alone Echo."

"I'm just so mad at him." Fives clenched his fists and let out a shaky breath. "I shouldn't be, but I am. After everything we went through, after losing our squad, we promised each other we'd always be there. Always.

"And maybe it was stupid. No... it was stupid. We're in a kriffing war. It was a stupid promise to make." Fives tilted his head more towards the floor. "But I'm still angry at him for breaking it. Why did he have to run, Rex? Why?"

A sigh. "Because it's Echo. He'll always put others before himself, even if it means risking his own life. He'll always be there for the people that need him."

"But I need him." Fives said. The expression on his face was enough to break Rex's already shattered heart a billion times over. The look in his eyes was pleading, desperate, so painfully childlike. "I need him, Rex. And he's not here."

_._._._._._._

"Do you think there's anything after death?"

"Stars, Fives! Bit of a heavy question isn't it?"

Jesse took a swig of his drink and stared at his brother, who was sat on the other side of the table, looking nowhere in particular.

"I'm just asking. We're all gonna die at some point and it'd be nice to know what comes next."

"This is about Echo isn't it?"

Fives looked at Jesse, expression unusually blank. "I didn't say it was about Echo."

"But it is, isn't it?" It had been months at this point, but no-one could blame Fives for still dwelling on it every now and again. Echo and him were inseparable, you never found one without the other unless something went seriously wrong. The only time they'd be apart would be if it was forced (or if one finally got so sick of the other's antics they had be away for a few hours, even if for the sake of everyone in their vicinity). So for Fives to be left without Echo...

Fives looked down at his own bottle, swirling it gently. "Sometimes..." His hand stopped. "Sometimes I wonder if he's still there somewhere, watching."

Jesse understood. Every clone had felt that way at one point; once you lost that many brothers, part of you always hoped they never truly left, that you would find them again someday.

Fives went back to swirling his drink. "What do you think he'd say?"

"What do I think Echo would say?"

"Right now. What do you think he would say?"

"I'd think he'd say 'Fives, you shouldn't be drinking this much the day before a major training session, you idiot.' And then drag you home."

"I meant about the death thing."

"Okay, well I'd think he'd say "Fives, stop thinking about kriff like this. This is why you shouldn't be drinking this much the day before a major training session, you idiot.' And then still drag you home."

Fives let out a half-hearted chuckle. "Yeah, that sounds about right." He took a swig from the bottle. "I just really need to see him again."

Jesse softened slightly. He knew Fives needed someone to joke with him every now and again, especially when he was down, and he would always be that person, but he also knew that his brother was hurting. He would always be haunted by what happened at the Citadel. "I'm sure you will, vod."

"Really?" Fives stared at him.

"Yes." Jesse knocked back the last of his drink and stood up. "But not right now. I'm gonna take you back to the barracks before you give yourself alcohol poisoning. Kix is still mad at you for the last time you got too drunk."

"I didn't mean to throw up on his helmet!" Fives pushed himself up. "It was his own fault for leaving it on the floor."

_._._._._._._

"I just hope they're back together again."

"I know, Rex. I know. And I'm sure they are, causing as much havoc as they did when they were here." A small smile crossed Cody's face at the thought of those poor souls who finally thought they had found peace being made to deal with a couple of rascals in blue and white paint. "If anything, they're probably causing even more trouble. The entirety of Domino Squad, including two ARCs? It doesn't bear thinking about."

That got a laugh from the Captain. "Can you imagine Wolffe having to deal with that?"

"He'd defy all odds and come back from the dead if he was confronted with that lot."

The two sat there laughing. They'd decided not to go back to their camp, instead choosing to sit and watch the sun set on the horizon. It was calm, quiet, the most peaceful it had been in a long time. And they knew it wouldn't be for long. They had another mission to set out for tomorrow, but right now, in this moment, everything was still.

"How long do you think it would've taken Fives to try and climb that?" Rex pointed at a large, sprawling tree not too far from where they were sat. "I reckon he'd run at it the second he saw it."

"Yeah, he would. And then Echo would go storming off after him, muttering every curse word in the book, and threaten to drag his hide back to camp."

"You say that, but I can guarantee someone would've gone looking for them later and found both of them hanging out on a branch, ignoring all of their responsibilities."

An idea struck Cody.

"Race you up the tree."

Rex stared at him, wide-eyed. "Ya what?"

"Race you up that tree."

"What?! Why?! We're supposed to be the mature ones here, vod! We can't just go careening off into the forest to climb a tree!"

"Who says we can't? Our generals are currently elsewhere." Cody's eyes glinted with a mischievousness Rex hadn't seen since they were kids. "And you know Echo and Fives would've loved this."

"Which is exactly why it's a terrible idea!" Rex said frantically. "All plans that those two loved should never be touched with a hundred foot pole, let alone attempted!"

"Come on, vod. I thought you of all people would be a little more lenient than that. It'll be fun." Cody got up and brushed the dust off his legs. "Unless you're scared of getting caught."

Rex was silent, thinking. Cody knew he was winning. Just a little more pushing...

"Never thought I'd see the day that Captain Rex would give up and-"

"Oh you are on!" Cody watched Rex launch himself towards the tree, before sprinting after him, cackling.

With the wind in his face, and the dirt kicking up beneath thundering feet, he hoped that, wherever they were, the Domino Twins were laughing, revelling in the chaos of their two superiors barrelling through shrubs for a race up a tree. They deserved that extra laugh at least.

_._._._._._._

Rex couldn't believe it. After all this time. After all the mourning and the grief and the rage... Echo was alive.

Echo had been taken to be looked over as soon as they got back to Kamino, but Rex could still see him, clear as day. Pale, cold. Metal ports all over, pulling at the skin. Limbs fused to composite and wires and things no human should be bound to. So very different from the Echo that Rex remembered. But so very alive.

Everything hurt. Yes, they'd found one of their brothers, Echo, and had managed to bring him back home. But it hurt. It hurt to know that they had left him behind. It hurt to know that he had spent endless rotations in a constant state of torture. It hurt to know that Echo would never be able to go back to the man he once was.

And it hurt to know that Fives never knew.

Fives was gone. He died thinking he was the last Domino standing, died thinking that he would be reunited with all of his brothers, with Echo... but Echo was right here. Fives never knew that his brother lived. And he would never know.

They should've been reunited. The pain and grief Rex had seen in Fives was too much to think about. The way he had collapsed, screaming, and fallen asleep simply out of pure exhaustion after returning from the Citadel. They should never have been separated. And despite bringing Echo back, Rex had to fight the ever-looming shadow that was the knowledge that he would never be able to bring the two back together. A forever-fractured whole held in pieces by the gaping chasm of death. There was no way to bridge that gap, not without Echo being lost again.

And it hurt. In a situation that should have brought so much joy, it hurt. Because Echo knew.

Rex didn't have to say anything. Echo just knew. When he saw that Fives wasn't there to get him, it fell into place. There was no way his brother wouldn't have been there for him. Not unless he was gone. And in some ways it was worse. There was no screaming, or crying, or shouting as there had been with Fives. Simply silence. A silence so deafening that Rex had almost wished, almost begged, for Echo to break down. Because he could see the wound inside Echo grow wider and there was nothing he could do to close it.

It hurt. It hurt to know that Echo knew. To know that after coming back from all of that, all he went through, his home was gone, destroyed, brought to rubble by the simple fact that his other half wasn't there. Echo would never be the same after Skako Minor.

And he certainly wouldn't be the same without Fives.

_._._._._._._

"He should be here. After everything he did, he deserved to be here, fighting alongside us."

It was dark and Rex and Echo had hunkered down inside to escape the biting wind and lashing rain outside. Echo was due to go back to the Batch the following day and help them rescue Omega and the other clones from Tantiss, so the two had taken some time to just sit down and rest.

Rex knew it was going to be a rough night. There was too much going on to get any decent level of sleep, and Echo had hit the point where he was once again thinking about his lost brother. Rex couldn't blame him. It was hard not to think about Fives at a time like this.

"I mean, he was the one who found out about the chips in the first place. None of us would be here if it wasn't for him. He deserves to bring the whole system down." Echo was wound up, like a tightly coiled spring, and Rex was just waiting for something to snap. Whether it was now, or tomorrow, in a few rotations time, he didn't know. But he knew that Echo would snap eventually, and whoever was on the receiving end of that blind rage would not have a good time. That was something Rex was certain about.

"You're right." Rex responded. "He should be here. And I'm forever angry that he never got the chance to see this. But you know who is here?" Echo glanced at him. "Us. And if anyone can carry on his legacy, it's us, especially you."

His brother didn't say anything, simply turning to stare ahead of him.

The Captain continued. "I see him in you sometimes. Now more than ever." He chuckled. "You used to be the rule follower, the one who would try and keep Fives somewhat in check. Now I see you running around causing just as much mayhem as he used to. I've seen Jawas with weaker thieving skills than I've seen from you over the last few weeks!" He could see a smile tugging at the edge of Echo's lips.

"Just keeping you on your toes, old man."

"Hey now! I try telling you how proud I am and you give me even more grey hairs." Rex rolled his eyes. "What am I going to do with you?"

"You were trying to tell me you were proud?"

"Yes!" Rex said with exasperation.

"You called me a thief." Echo's expression was blank but the Captain could see the twinkle in his eye. He was messing with him.

"Yes. And I was about to tell you how proud I was of your thievery but I'm not going to anymore."

"Are you mad that I called you old?"

"No."

"You're mad aren't you?" Rex should've been annoyed but when he saw the cheeky grin across his younger brother's face he couldn't help but melt.

Yep. Definitely like Fives.

"You'll be the death of me some day."

"I better not be," Echo said, slightly more serious. "People here need you."

"And they need you as well. I may outrank you Echo, and I may have more experience, but you are more than capable and you have proved yourself more than enough. We need you in this fight. We can't do it without you. I can't do it without you."

Echo had started to drift again. Rex could see it. "I just feel like I'm taking his place. That he should be here instead of me."

"You both deserve to be here." Rex put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "You deserve to be here just as much as he does. You aren't taking his space vod'ika. Never forget that."

Echo gave him a small smile.

"I'm proud of you."

"I thought you said weren't going to tell me-"

"Fives would be proud of you."

Echo froze. Rex held his gaze firm, grip on his shoulder tightening.

"Go out there tomorrow and do what you do, vod'ika. We'll be with you every step of the way. Both of us."

Teary eyed, Echo glanced away and swallowed. They sat in silence for a few minutes, processing. Tomorrow was going to be difficult. It was going to be a push. But Rex knew his brother was more than capable. He just hoped and prayed he didn't lose him again.

Rex wasn't sure how he'd ended up in the position where he could lose one of the twins for a third time, but here he was. There was only so much time you could keep those two apart, and Rex knew that time was ticking down. For now he just hoped that it wouldn't be tomorrow.

Echo had started picking at the paint on his pauldron. The colour had started to chip away, but the orange still held some of its vibrancy. "You know..." Echo said, not looking up from the armour "Fives would be laughing at me right now."

Rex raised an eyebrow, confused. "And why would that be?"

Echo pointed at the wobble between the orange and white "Because I still can't paint the kriffing lines straight."

#another fic!#aren't you a lucky bunch #my brain seems to be running atm which is fun #I only ever intended for this to be like three snapshots #but I kept getting ideas #so enjoy #the bad batch #the clone wars #the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #tbb echo #arc trooper echo #arc trooper fives #the domino twins #captain rex #commander cody #jess #Spotify

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