#as someone also in their 30s it's really jarring how people just don't get what it was like during the early 00s

[uninformedartist]

So just finished watching the ep so review. Spoils ahead:

So the episode was ok to me, solid 6/10 one of the better episodes which since this was supposed to be an "extravagant" ep why does it got better quality than the main eps, idk Viv has her moments like this ep and other eps its a train wreck in writing ect.

Mammon worked on my nerves, from design to his movements, personality ALL of him was annoying, which props for an annoying Villian but its Villian I never want to see back again and he's hinted for some sort of return.

Side tangent: Mammon is like the how many-ith Villian to get a return ep/hint at one. It was 1st cherubs, then dorks, then stella/ice twink, striker/crimson now Mammon & according to the leaked storyboards a ghost guy that tries to talk IMP into off-ing themselves... its a flipping lot and cherubs & dorks seem to be forgotten dispite dorks knowing & having hard evidence they exist, flip Viv chill it with your Villian of the week cos its way too many now.

Anyway, Blitz didn't need to be in this ep besides the flashback. Ozzie got him to talk Fizz out of being Mammon's puppet but ultimately Ozzie spoke him out of it & gave him courage to quit/confront Mammon. Even Blitz being a bodyguard/killing people for Fizz could've been any imp. Blitz is starting to feel like Steven from SU, in every ep even tho the ep doesn't need him/ the episode surrounds topics a wee child shouldn't be in (i.e Lapis trauma dumping on Steven & he a child isn't really equipped to handle that situation).

My fave part of this ep was Ozzie and Fizz. Ya'll I legit prayed Viv wouldn't mess these two up and my prayers were answered. Absolutely a joy these two were. Fizz especially what a darling. Loved that small scenes with him and the deaf imp child, l dont know sign language but it looked genuine animated and was just sweet moments.

From their interactions, Fizz's panic attacks/self doubt felt & were genuine... I felt that as someone that has panic attacks from high stress on my studies/life. It was just handled well. Fizz feeling less than and needing to prove himself from 1. his past 2. his appearance, that accident affected his self image/worth so much (why I felt him forgiving Blitz was too hastily done but I digress) & 3. him doing this Mammon contest still to gain/earn Ozzie's love for him cos Fizz believes Ozzie only sticks around because of this fame Mammon gave Fizz. Ozzie finally saying what he loves about Fizz was lovely, wanted that in the 1st ep but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Their song was... I didn't like it BUT the message in it was beautiful. Lastly Fizz saying fuck you to Mammon from the courage/strength Ozzie gave him was a nice send off... also Ozzie saying he loves Fizz ah ngl that made me smile agh I just love them. I want to see them more than the Stolitz show but thats only a wish. Props Viv, you get 1 brownie point not messing this up.

Last findings, the ep was bloated as hell my soul Viv please stop cramming so much in an ep, this one is 30 mins long & yet still felt bloated. Pacing was a motherfuka damn it was bad & the swearing was jarring (its a Viv written ep I don't expect any less but still gonna point it out) and the comedy wasn't so prominent in this ep, Blitz/Mammon gave some comic relief but in the best and worst ways:

The way the VA delivered this line "to be fucked" made me laugh, the line is cringy but the delivery lol gold

Aand Blitz, my soul shut the fuck up & get out this ep. Last ep & this one he said something so agonizingly cringe I pulled my face

The world of HB is legit American hell or earth just painted red since Fizz named all these places in America just "hellified" where his fans come from.

And very last, congratulations Salem glad you got the cathartic send off you deserve from working under Viv, truly fuck you "Mammon" indeed :) also glad they credited you this time.

#vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #spindlehorse critical #helluva boss criticism #my post #can we get a moment for Salem cos heck yeah for them whoooo!!!!

[goron-king-darunia]

Eggtober 21st, 2023

"Strange Flower" or "Controversy" Overcooked Hard-boiled Egg with Mayonnaise

(Clip Studio Paint, Gouache Brush, Airbrush for Paprika and Pepper. 12 colors, about 30 minutes.) Woke up with this idea. Mayo is a controversial condiment and I 100% understand. I hate custard filling in things like donuts. It's goopy, a little salty, and it has that texture to it that screams to your brain that "this is uncooked and probably bad to eat." And I think mayo is like that for lots of people, but worse. Because it's salty and a little sour and that same "uncooked" texture all sends the same signal but more like "this is rotten and falling apart. It's not good to eat." But I like mayo. Maybe I just got introduced to it in a more postitive way than custard or creme pat. Maybe because most creme pat comes to me in a donut at room temp and mayo usually comes from a refrigerated jar. Maybe it's because both are a little salty and eggy and so mayo reads as "a good sensible condiment for burgers and sandwiches and slaw salads" while creme pat reads as an "aberration that could only be put in a donut by accident." But then I think humans just kind of don't like seeing fatty substances all in one big glob. Same way lard is a common cooking ingredient in many non-USA countries but people in the "northern" non-farming USA see lard and only think "byproduct" like bacon grease and feel a visceral disgust the way I feel about burger grease. I think a lot of things are like that in life. Some of it's genetic, like the way cilantro tastes like soap to some and like a tasty floral herb to others. Some of it is experience, like a taste aversion to plums after a bad summer. And some of it is social. How we're taught to be disgusted by "byproducts" because that's not the thing we're intending to make, or it only happens when the thing you're making turns out "wrong." Some of it is political. I'm sure you all have ideas. And I think, on the one hand, disgust is useful. We get sick if we eat expired foods. We can die if we eat the wrong berry or mushroom. Being wary of the new is safe. An on the other hand, unbridled disgust is the enemy of curiosity and growth and discovery. When we turn away from things that make us uncomfortable, we lose a chance to learn.

So on the one hand I think this piece is about my experiences becoming a more adventurous eater in my adulthood. I still don't like creme patissiere. But I'm not going to waste a donut because of it anymore. I don't like red bean paste. But at least I know what it tastes like now, and it's not just a blind discomfort around something new. I'll never get over how the texture of glutinous rice cakes remind me of chewing gum, a thing I've been taught to spit out. But I can understand why people like mochi.

And I think on another hand (many hands today) this piece is also about how @quezify plays with disgust and horror and beauty. And how that curiosity disgusts some people and enamors others. How it ties you in knots. How wound dressing and debridement are all at once an act of love and an act of mutilation. How there's beauty there in something so instinctively disgusting.

Dunno exactly. That's what the art's there for, I guess. To express what I can't quite put in words. I hope it's disgusting, and I hope it's beautiful.

I wonder if @lady-quen's breadbugs will have fun with this one?

Speed paint~

I don't know if my style can really render any gravitas to it, with how soft everything is, but I hope it speaks to someone.

#Eggtober 21 2023 #Eggtober 2023 #my art #art by GKD #speedpaint #Hard Boiled Eggs #Mayonnaise #mayo

[chloecherrysip]

Now that I've had a few hours of sleep and am marginally a human being again, let's talk about the mario movie some more! SPOILERS ALL THROUGHOUT THIS POST UNDER THE CUT (if you want to see my non-spoilery thoughts and the first part of my spoiler talk as well, here's that post from last night! Be warned that it's pretty all over the place because it was 4:30 in the morning and I was really tired lolol)

After thinking about it more, I truly do have some PROBLEMS with this movie (will talk more about some of that below and I covered a lot of the issues in my first post too) and I do wish it was better overall and not so painfully surface-level with all the character interactions - I can understand why some people REALLY don't like it while others love it! It's joyful and energetic and BEAUTIFUL but if you spent months and months theorizing and speculating about deep character interactions and a very emotional story, it does really sting to finally see how there is virtually NONE of that and the plot feels kinda empty as a result. :(

But! I'm definitely not upset or anything like that, and I'm still gonna see it two more times in theaters with a smile on my face! TRUTHFULLY (and if you've seen my blog before, you know this about me) what I cared about most in this movie was getting to see Mario and Luigi be adorable onscreen and have a good, healthy, loving relationship, and you do get that to some degree, even if it's nowhere near enough. I can make my peace (and write a lot of fanfic, LOL) regarding the rest. :)

Here is a list of moments between Mario & Luigi that made me happy:

FIRST OF ALL, SOMETHING THAT I'M NOT ACTUALLY SURE I LIKED BUT WAS CERTAINLY A CHOICE: Mario's nickname for Luigi is Lu????? He calls him that 3-4 times and at big moments, too. It started to be cute to me, even if I wish they'd gone with "Weegie" or something similar, but it's a little jarring at the beginning for sure.

In general, they are just very physically affectionate with each other! There are one or two quick hugs in the beginning scenes before we even get to the reunion. Also, I can't remember the specifics but the very last scene is them basically teasing/poking each other before running off into the day together and it's cute. :)

Mario is SO protective of Luigi in the Brooklyn scenes and let me tell you, as someone who cares DEEPLY about that, i was LIVING. He gets mad at Spike and tries to pick a fight only when he insults Luigi, and there is also a silly scene with an angry dog and Mario just instinctively puts his arm up in front of Luigi when things get a little scary/focuses on making sure he doesn't get hurt, and I was just having the BEST time. Honestly, I loved the Brooklyn stuff so much that I sincerely wanted the whole movie to just be about that, and things took a downhill turn for sure when the separation happened. :(

Someone definitely predicted this before the movie but Mario hates mushrooms as a food and Luigi likes them. During a dinner scene, Mario is slyly separating mushrooms from his food and putting them onto Luigi's plate in a way that suggests he's done that a LOT. Such a quick shot but I just liked the detail!

THE RUNNING THROUGH THE CONSTRUCTION SITE AND MARIO DOING RIDICULOUS PARKOUR BUT ALSO STOPPING TWICE TO MAKE SURE TO TURN BACK AND OPEN THE GATES SO LUIGI COULD COME THROUGH NORMALLY. There was just something SO funny and sweet about [crazy jumping and leaping] [quiet, thoughtful pause to open the gate] [MORE CRAZY JUMPING AND LEAPING, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING, SIR] [another quiet, thoughtful pause to open the 2nd gate], I loveeeeee

Once again, just gotta be obnoxious about being right that the dialogue in the warp zone was "nothing can hurt us as long as we're together!" I HEARD THE LINE AS THIS IN THAT PREVIEW FOOTAGE AND EVERYONE CONVINCED ME IT WAS DIFFERENT BUT LOOK WHO'S LAUGHING NOW (i'm sorry, just let me have this win haha)

There is a sad moment where Mario and Luigi's dad clearly doesn't believe in their business and he even says to Mario something like "the worst part is that you're dragging your brother down with you" which is clearly upsetting to Mario so he leaves the dinner table - but then Luigi leaves the table too to come and sit with him and reassures him that he's not dragging him down and it's just a sweet, comfortable moment between them that I very much wish went on a little longer (the theme of the whole movie lol)

(Also, Mario and Luigi still live with their parents and share a room, they're clearly pretty young and are treated like the "babies" of the family. I wish we had seen more of their room other than a very extremely brief shots!!)

Luigi DOES immediately sell out Mario when Bowser goes for the serious mustache damage, LOL, but the way it's done is honestly so cute and once again, just reemphasizes how much Luigi loves Mario XD He's basically like "YES, I know him, he's my brother Mario and he's the best guy ever!" (And then Bowser, who is preoccupied with Mario = romantic rival for Peach's affections, is like "would a princess find him attractive???" and Luigi is like "if she has any common sense, she should!" (lol, that line could be TOTALLY wrong, I don't remember, but that's the gist of it, I promise) or something like that - just hyping Mario up when he's not even there, LOL

in Mario and DK's "darkest moment" scene where things seem hopeless and they're arguing, Mario says something like "well, at least your brother's not going to die because of you!" and noooo, bb, it's not your fault ;; (this scene could have been done SO MUCH BETTER with a few tweaks, btw, but I will get into that)

Luigi bringing coffee for Mario at the end of the movie in their respective cups :) :) :) So simple but I am a very simple person who just wanted to see little moments like this :) :) :)

I have GRIPES with the final battle scene but seeing Mario and Luigi work together and take care of Bowser as a duo was still good!!! Nothing can hurt them when they're together!!!

Also, already talked about this at length in my first post, but one more time: Mario saving Luigi from falling into the lava and their reunion hug is just my favorite moment of the movie, no contest, it goes by so fast and I wish it was longer but I can be happy with that alone and I can't wait for the screenshots/gifsets where I can see all the details of it more clearly and don't have to rely on my awful memory. Literally just going to think about that split-second of Mario holding Luigi's face with both hands in an unbearably sweet, gentle way forever. These brothers love each other very much, your honor ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

ALSO ALMOST FORGOT: FLASHBACK TO THEM BEING BABIES (AND THEY LOOK SO FAITHFUL TO THE ORIGINAL DESIGNS TOO!) AND MARIO PROTECTING LUIGI FROM A BULLY (lol I very much wish it was a longer and/or more creative flashback, but STILL sweet)

AND NOW THAT I AM DONE WITH BEING POSITIVE ABOUT MY FAVORITE BOYS, LET'S ~*~COMPLAIN~*~

First of all, still CANNOT BELIEVE that "I'm not afraid! I'll do anything for my brother" didn't make it into the movie, are you SERIOUS, it would have been perfect in SO MANY PARTS, they recorded it and everything, why???? IS THERE A DELETED SCENE??? ARE THERE SEVERAL DELETED SCENES??? I DEMAND JUSTICE FOR THAT PERFECT LINE, I WILL MOURN IT FOREVER

The editing in general is a little odd sometimes and it really DOES feel like a lot of scenes should be there that are missing. Another VERY weird cut is in the scene where Peach, Toad, and Mario are crossing the bridge with the Cheep-Cheeps and they just immediately cut the scene when one latches onto Mario's face and don't even include the cute stuff from the trailer with Peach trying to help him??? Like, WHY???? WHY DID THOSE FEW SECONDS NEED TO BE CUT??? I DON'T UNDERSTAND

I think one of the most painful things about this movie is that, as a writer/creative person, I can see SO many small opportunities throughout the movie where a couple of extra minutes and some tweaks in the writing would have made SO much difference. An unbelievable amount of difference! The overall structure of the story and the plot is good! The story of Mario wanting to reunite with his brother and Peach wanting to protect her kingdom (that took her in and cared for her when she was all alone in the world) is solid! But they never give the EMOTIONS surrounding these things ANY space to breathe beyond one line here or there, and that is SUCH a mistake and I can't believe no one thought to do something differently here.

FOR INSTANCE: The "darkest moment" scene with DK and Mario! It goes by so fast, but there is some good stuff there that, if the movie took a MOMENT and really let their pain/fear for their loved ones and their shared complex of unsupportive fathers BREATHE, would work SO MUCH BETTER. Like, I can easily imagine a rewritten version of that scene with very similar dialogue but just MORE of it (more pauses, more emotion, more reactions to one another's problems, more recognition of their similarities, etc) would have made it like a DAGGER in the heart. SUCH a missed opportunity. I am itching to rewrite it, LOL. (I am itching to rewrite a LOT of scenes!)

ALSO: Luigi is my LOVE and he is adorable throughout this, but I'm gonna be the first to admit that his scrap of an arc in this movie (if you can even call it that) is so lackluster and his heroic moment at the end genuinely doesn't feel that earned! AND ONCE AGAIN, WITH A LITTLE EXTRA WRITING/ROOM IN THE RUNTIME, IT'S A VERY SOLVABLE PROBLEM

And the solution is: build out the prison scenes and have Luigi actually talking to someone else who is locked up!!!!! Other than a couple of lines and jokes, the prisoners don't TALK TO EACH OTHER and Luigi just spends a lot of time looking sad. We don't get ANYTHING about his thought processes while he's captured other than he is thinking of Mario and hoping his brother comes to save him like he's always done.

WHEN CRANKY KONG AND THE OTHER KONGS SHOW UP, HAVE THEM SHARE INFO ABOUT MARIO'S APPARENT DEMISE WITH LUIGI!!! HAVE LUIGI TALK TO HIM (OR THE PENGUIN KING, OR SOMEONE) ABOUT HOW HIS BROTHER'S ALWAYS LOOKED OUT FOR HIM BUT MAYBE SOMETIMES, HIS BROTHER MIGHT NEED SOME SUPPORT TOO AND HE'S GOTTA BE STRONG FOR HIM TOO

It doesn't have to be a long or especially deep conversation, but some lines of dialogue like this would make that moment where Luigi realizes that Mario is right, nothing CAN hurt them if they're together and he's gotta be strong for his older brother too and he jumps in to protect him from Bowser hit SO much harder. That's all it would take!!!

I HAVE ACTUAL WORK TO DO TODAY AND CANNOT GO ON AND ON ABOUT THE MARIO MOVIE FOREVER BUT LAST THOUGHT FOR NOW: the more I think about the final battle, the more I'm conflicted, haha. The twist of everyone from the Mushroom Kingdom ending up in Brooklyn is definitely SHOCKING in the moment and pretty creative but I don't know, I had my heart set on a more classic version of Mario VS Bowser. It just doesn't hit as hard as it could in the end because of how silly the setting is. :( (But the Mario and Luigi teamup with the power star is great, and the music IS fire) (Also LOL at myself for thinking "Luigi won't fight at the end, that wouldn't make sense since Mario had to train" - he just knows how to fight, the movie goes with what's cool over what's logical and that's fair XD)

Also, the end of the movie is a tad confusing and has some pretty huge repercussions for this version of canon? ARE THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM AND THE REAL WORLD PERMANENTLY MERGED TOGETHER BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED??? That's definitely what it seems to imply with Mario and Luigi waking up in their Brooklyn room and then walking out straight into the Mushroom Kingdom! It's pretty bizarre! (Honestly, what I was expecting was that the Bill would destroy the warp pipes and Mario and Luigi wouldn't be able to go home, which I might have preferred, as sad as that would be.)

That's all I got for now! I'm sure I will have more thoughts in the future, haha.

#mario movie #mario movie spoilers #super mario bros movie #super mario bros movie spoilers #would love to hear your thoughts if you agree/disagree with anything i said! #it really is wild to see such STRONG reactions on either side of the spectrum #seeing a LOT of positive feedback and then a LOT of people who are MAD and yeah. i honestly get both sides. i am both of you lol #cherrysip hc's & rambling

[colleyuriko]

Tanz der Vampire, Hamburg, 21.12.23, 19:30

Graf von Krolock - Rob Fowler

Professor Abronsius - Till Jochheim

Alfred - Vincent Van Gorp

Chagal - Oleg Krasovitskii

Herbert - Jonas Steppe

Koukol - Alexander Ruttig

Sarah - Sandra Bitterli

Magda - Anja Backus

Rebecca - Carina Nopp

Tanzsolisten: Paolo Valenti / Andrea Giola / Kezia Coulson

Gesangssolisten: Lorenzo Di Girolamo / Simon Loughton

Ensemble: Jessie Vos, Frederik Stuhllemmer, Keny Oslen, Ian Vrolijk, Artem Salastelnyk, Demi Hubers, Nicole Klünsner, Rachel Bahler, Anne Hoth, Carina Fitzi, Chloe Lee Hill, Alice Giammerioli, Ginevra Serra Cassano

Orchester: Stage Operettenhaus, Dirigent: Martin Gallery

I had such a good time. I'm dumping my thoughts behind the readmore.

Everyone was fantastic, I was really curious to hear Rob Fowler as the new von Krolock and Anja Backus as Magda live especially.

The stage in Hamburg appeared a bit narrow compared to what I've seen online from other shows, I was a bit nervous with all the capes flying around during Rote Stiefel. During Einladung zum Ball Krolock's cape caught on the door to Alfred and Abronsius' room, but it was a quick fix with a tug lol.

I was actually really amazed Sarah took Krolock's hand towards the end of Einladung zum Ball and started to rise out of the bath. And during Totale Finsternis she went in for a kiss (that didn't happen) but holy shit, this Sarah was on it.

I really enjoyed Alfred, but it only just hit me how jarring it is to have Für Sarah right before Die Gruft. One song is about how brave he'll be, but the other how he's scared. Sure you can play it off as funny and ironic, but it tripped me up a bit this time round. It was so charming to hear Für Sarah live. And bless Vincent Van Gorp for having to crawl back on stage again during Tanzsaal to grab Abronsius' helmet he needs for the quick change.

I was trying to keep my eyes on 5 different characters during Tanzsaal, I think I missed Herbert doing something to the Vampire in the blue wig's sleeves. >.< I enjoyed this Herbert. I was a bit nervous because my mother was with me and I don't quite know her opinions, but imo this Herbert was not as giggly as some I had seen in recordings and so Wenn Liebe In Dir Ist seemed less as a joke. I know we as a fandom love Herbert and you may have a different opinion, but the whole 'make the bite attempt look like SA' as the punchline of the scene and whatever Chagal and Magda have going on are the things I warn people about when I recommend the musical.

I also liked this less screechy Abronsius. I thought the sound system could have done his fast songs more justice and it's a shame that this version of the musical doesn't have Abronsius call for Alfred at the very end any more. I love the Finale, but it kicked in so suddenly I missed some of the callback to the beginning of the musical and the tragedy of it a bit.

My mother had clocked that Sarah's family was Jewish with the Menorah during Das Gebet but she asked me if it was a recent addition. I was glad I had looked into it once. As far as I understand it, Roman Polanski (who is Jewish, that's the only thing I am focusing on here) had written 'Fearless Vampire Killers' to get back at Vampire Stories being based on antisemitic stereotypes. The Satire being that Chagal was actually Jewish this time. You want a Jewish Vampire? You're getting one, that kind of attitude. I read that the film was even supposed to have a scene in it where Chagal couldn't have his coffin in the graveyard with the other vampires because he was Jewish. Even as a Vampire he would still face antisemitism, to hold a mirror up to the vampire genre, but this was deemed too controversial by the the editors or someone and it was cut out of the film (which I have never watched, btw. Didn't really want to give Polanski more of my time than I had to, because of the Reasons). So my theory is that Magda and Chagal get pushed into the crypt in a wooden box as an allusion to this cut scene. But yes, in short, the Chagal family have always been Jewish. Whether or not Tanz der Vampire succeeds in being satirical or not I cannot judge for sure. (I had the compulsion to look all of this up because Chagal singing about it's totally OK sucking other people's blood worried me... I wanted to know what place this was coming from)

I was happy that Magda and Chagal got to sing some of the "Was ist dabei..." at the end if Geil Zu Sein ist Komisch outside of the coffin as well. It gave the performers a bit more time visible on stage.

One thing I thought was a bit of a shame was that the mirrors for Wenn Liebe in Dir Ist were rather narrow and in parts obscured by a column so that it was really hard to notice the dance double playing the reflection. We were also sat right in the middle of a row looking straight ahead to the stage. I don't think my mother noticed the dance doubles in Tanzsaal, either. I knew to look out for them, but it wasn't easy to see from the middle.

Sitting right at the back we also got the full blast of the flash lighting that happened during Einladung zum Ball, Carpe Noctem, and the second Finale. It was really unpleasant. If you are light sensitive, I'm afraid this would ruin your visit to the show. I don't know how it is in other areas of seating, but it's worth asking about if you ever do want to see it and are photosensitive in any way.

I had briefed my mother beforehand that the melody she was going to hear was Total Eclipse of the Heart because I didn't want her to be thinking and wondering where she had heard it before and be distracted from taking in the show or nudging me to say what the song is.

EDIT: I just remembered, the switch from Sarah to dance double Sarah in Rote Stiefel in this Hamburg production is a magic trick. All of a sudden there were two Sarahs and I don't even know where she came from. Super cool.

I think I mentioned everything I wanted to dump down soon after seeing it.

Oh wait, I am so glad I got to see Carpe Noctem live. Black Vampire my beloved. Grateful the dancers seem to be able to freestyle to some degree. Andrea Giola didn't do that jump where Black Vampire does the splits in mid air, and I'm grateful because otherwise my mother might have brought up when I used to do gymnastics XD

Made a shirt for going, btw. Didn't quite finish, but it was wearable ^^;;

Actually, I'm just going to add this thought here too while I'm at it: I'm just so enamoured by the fact that not all performers in a musical are native speakers and will learn the songs for their role in a language that is not necessarily known to them. When I was little, I was told if I want to do anything with languages I should become a translator and my mother kept talking about politics, being an ambassador, etc. But even now I never felt that kind of job is me. I'm not saying a musical performer's job is easy, it's very demanding and takes incredible dedication, but I'm a bit sad no one ever highlighted the language aspect to me. When Drew Sarich mentions in interviews he was sent to Germany with nothing but a lead role and a language coach and now I feel like his German sounds cleaner than mine, or Ivan Ozoghin says he only had two weeks to learn the German versions for Krolock, I'm still so impressed even though I will also learn Japanese songs I like by heart like the little weeb I am. What I am trying to say is: the arts also have space and reasons to learn another language, the musical industry is more international than I had ever thought it was, and there is more to "I want to do something with languages when I grow up" than being corporate. I now have a 9-5 office job that has nothing to do with languages, but sometimes I do wonder what turns my life could have had if my parents didn't have this vision of me in a business suit.

#tanz der vampire #Musicals #Actual blogging lol

[theowritesfiction]

‘Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters’

I love the encounter with June, and how she has dropped the Uncle Lazy for 'creepy uncle' when speaking about Iroh. So those unsolicited advances didn't go unnoticed. Good reason to slap Iroh with 50 extra Jerk Points. And damn that is some heavy Zutara baiting.

I feel like Book 3 commits some of the same crimes as the last few seasons of Game of Thrones. Suddenly, the actual distance between places doesn't matter and travel from Fire Nation to Ba Sing Se barely takes a day. Once again, someone has invented fast travel. And I get that most people won't notice this, but to me it's very jarring and annoying. It gives the feeling of things being rushed.

Okay, unlike the Gaang I am not so happy about encountering this collection of crusty old men with dubious motives. I hate that Pakku is still an asshole to Sokka, and for the sheer gall of approaching Kanna again, Pakku gets 50 more Jerk Points. Also, all these old men are here for something... important? Yeah, the counter siege that was pretty much unnecessary, except to give Iroh bragging rights for having taken Ba Sing Se after all. Iroh is still drinking the kool aid of destiny, only now it has become about taking Ba Sing Se back from the Fire Nation. Convenient how that changed, huh?

I love the little cameos of all the past Avatars (I couldn't help but notice how each and every one made me more interested in them than I was ever interested in Aang) And also just upon this re-watch I realized that I have been channeling Yangchen in all my arguments of what Aang should have done - sacrifice your own spiritual needs for the good of the world. Yes, exactly! That would have actually taught Aang a very important lesson for the future. Also, for talking smack about Kyoshi, Aang gets 30 Jerk Points. She ushered in an era of peace, you judgey little asshat.

I love that it was Katara who came to reassure Zuko in his moment of doubt before speaking with Iroh. Katara extending her compassion to Zuko means that she has truly accepted him as a friend, and it is just a beautiful moment.  As is the reunion between Iroh and Zuko, not going to lie.

I don't care about Iroh's excuses of not fighting Ozai, sorry. History will see it as a brother fighting a brother for power. Yeah, what will history see Zuko fighting Azula for? Also, suddenly Iroh sees that becoming the Fire Lord is Zuko's destiny... I don't know where to begin with this contradictory old man. Although... I'll be honest, Iroh doesn't actually tell Zuko to fight Azula. He just tells Zuko that he needs to be in place when Ozai goes down. (Also how the fuck does Iroh know that Azula didn't go with Ozai and stayed in capital, like news don't travel THAT quickly) Still, for all the convenient destiny bullshit and evasiveness about facing Ozai, I'm going to slap Iroh for 100 more Jerk Points.

And sorry, but Zuko's comment about putting Azula in her place was always going to get him points. I really wish he hadn't phrased it that way, it's... not good. 120 Jerk Points.

Also there was a lion turtle I guess

Book 3 Jerk Points with 2 episodes to go:

Zuko - 840 Ozai - 700 Aang - 690 Yon Rha - 400 Iroh - 150   Sokka - 110 Roku - 100 Hide - 80 King Kuei - 60 Toph, Pakku - 50 Haru - 30

#my atla rewatch #atla book 3 #sozin’s comet

[egg-emperor]

sorry can you tell that I've had enough and that this was kind of the last straw lol

first of all: what the actual fuck

second of all: this was my response that's long enough that I look insane in my YouTube comments but it's just normal for me here lol

The small moments of humanization for Eggman in previous games were so much lighter and more in character because they didn't try to apply things that were impossible for the type of character he is to feel or change to do so reasonably. So it feels jarring and forced in this game for them to suddenly play it up so much. This kind of stuff doesn't work for every kind of villain that exists and some of them should just be allowed to be evil, expected to be what they were created to be without wanting to change every single thing about them and make them into a different person, taking away all the things that are appealing about them as evil characters. Evil can be fun and entertaining and characters don't always need a good side.

You can believe we need more villains that are humanized to the point they're redeemed and aren't so bad and stuff but... I have absolutely no idea how people are thinking that this works for Eggman, I can't fathom it. The whole point is that he's a deeply selfish self centered egotist, which is exactly why he wants to take over the world. He shouldn't be expected to be able to care for others because his core important character trait is literally against the entire idea and that's why they didn't show that before now. They really tried to disregard the defining traits of his entire being to try to make this happen and I don't think this is a good thing.

Also we definitely shouldn't want to become Eggman and he's not the type of guy we should redeem. The guy that carelessly harms animals and the environment, manipulates and gaslights people into getting what he wants, is carless towards innocent people getting hurt and sometimes even tries to target them intentionally like when he tried to blow up Station Square in Adventure, tries to kill Sonic and friends who are children sometimes as young as 8 and saying it will be "[his] pleasure" to do so, enslaves other beings to force them to work for him and keeps them there by causing them pain and fear, mistreats his creations and other robots severely by yelling insults and hitting/destroying them, has no remorse or empathy for all the people he hurts in any way, terrorizes the world to try to get what he wants- a world where he rules and forces people to worship him with no sense of self and freedom ever again. I can go on and on. There are some characters that have gone so far that you cannot convince me that after all this time and all they've done, they'd very abruptly change in heart like that.

Eggman isn't a flat or boring villain just because he didn't have a good soft side and empathy and he doesn't need to be given one. Eggman isn't someone they should use for us to try to be inspired by and want to become, not every villain needs to be to be great characters. He's a monster but he can be funny and he does have feelings and passions but just not ones that involve caring for others. Humanizing a villain, fleshing them out, and making them feel real can be done without suddenly implying that this character can suddenly change in 5 mins after 30+ years. It's very poorly done and I can't understand how the English version's lazy cheap attempt at forcing a dynamic to try and get emotions out of people is actually working. But then I remember it's because people don't actually like real villains and want all of them to change. Sigh...

I'm so glad that this was toned down severely in Japanese and presented in a way that feels so much more like him and actually adds up with his behavior and actions in other games and actually considers and respects them, instead of forcing a huge drastic change of entire character at the end like they did in English.

#I just couldn't BELIEVE #someone would say this #everyone really always forgets Eggman and everything he does #dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #my post #rant

[agentem]

Some thoughts on Grogu After I took an Edible.

You know how you block out memories that are traumatic? I think that is what Ahsoka means when she says Grogu's memory is "dark." He was being passed off from person-to-person like a football, never knowing if he was safe from Order 66, the Jedi Inquisitors, anyone who wanted him for cloning reasons or information about his species (possibly to be used again Yoda?). He tries not to get attached to these people anymore, like maybe he did for Kelleran Beq, Jar Jar Binks, Queen Apailana, whatever rebel, whoever locked him up in that dark pram with lots of guards defending him--they all die after awhile. So it's best not to get attached. (He's been on the run for like 30 years, right?)

But then he has Din Djarin. He likes Din Djarin. He's a good fighter. And Grogu can read minds so he knows who alike their stories are. Din was rescued by the Mandalorians and became a fervent supporter of this religion. He's not a secular Mandalorian. He deeply believes in the keep your helmet on all the day creed.

He sees Grogu for what he is--just a scared boy who needs rescuing. Sure, he might have magic powers but some people really get upset when you use your magic powers so you shouldn't or you'll get caught. (This is part of the reason Grogu doesn't like using the Force. It leads to exposure and makes him vulnerable.)

-- It is nice that the Armorer gives Grogu his rondell in "The Foundling" when he is having his PTSD flashbacks. He just exposed himself by using the Force against Ragnar and he worries about that. She says it is to keep him safe and reminding him he is part of this community now. She is reassuring him he will be safe.

Luke sees who he doesn't want to be which is actually a cool thing. He was like, "Hey do you want to be a Jedi or a Mandalorian, check only one box." Grogu wants both. As Luke says, a short time for him is an entire lifetime to someone else. If he stays with Luke, then he will lose the opportunity to have a Dad. Luke fully expects his school to work. There will be more Jedi to train Grogu after Din Djarin dies.

I also rewatched the first Season Finale to observe Grogu's reactions to Moff Gideon. (He definitely hears Daddy and Cara talking about going back to the Client and is like "no no no, they will kill you I will drive this spaceship away... oh you grabbed me. damnit. I am thwarted. I hate being small.")

He also trusts both Din and Greef Karga. We see him use the Force to heal Karga even before Karga is on their side. I'm not sure how much Grogu can actually understand of the thoughts and feelings he senses in others. I don't think he knows Greef was planning on betraying Din and did this to sway him. But I do think he likes that both Din and Greef are realists. They will do what they have to do to protect what they care about (for Greef it is his planet and for Din it is Grogu). Grogu gets that. He's just out in the galaxy trying to stay alive, feed himself (I don't' think he got fed a lot at the facility he was at when Din found him), and not get caught. He doesn't have room for higher ideals like religion or government and he probably doesn't fully understand them either. He is a child even if he's not as much of a "baby" as some people think.

(It's very weird and out of character when he lashes out at Cara Dune. I know Grogu thinks she is actually fighting Din, so he is trying to protect his Dad. But it's possible he isn't a big fan of the Rebellion either. Like maybe some of the people who "protected" him were trying to use him for their ends? Just a thought.)

ANYWAY. I didn't see any particular reactions from Grogu to Moff Gideon. But I was reminded that Din says he hasn't heard the name "Din Djarin" spoken aloud for years until Moff Gideon says it. He doesn't have a clan. He is only Mando, a Mandalorian.

So that got me thinking about the Armorer. Because in this episode, the season 1 finale, she also calls him Din Djarin--meaning she knew his name all this time and was waiting to see if Din would ever claim it. Then she tells him he is "as" Grogu's father, which Grogu seems to really like. He's all, "I get to keep him?"

It's interesting that the Armorer doesn't call him, "Grogu of Clan Mudhorn" at the end of Season 3 because I think that would be name if going by solely Mandalorian Creed. But she is also acknowledging familial bonds. She names him Din Grogu, presumably knowing the naming convention of Din's home planet that Din himself doesn't remember.

Maybe she knows the trauma of what happened to his family still influences Din (his hatred of droids and the Empire all come from that original family) and being Mandalorian isn't his only identity, no matter how much he wishes for that to be so early on.

I guess this is why Mandalore is always having factions and infighting. They are literally "clannish" because they have clans and families that matter to them. The bug Bo Katan speaks of is actually a feature.

#star wars #grogu #din grogu #din djarin #the armorer #greef karga #mandalore #mandalorian #the mandalorian

[eriexplosion]

Clone Wars - Bombad Jedi

The concept of this one sends me every fucking time.

Like, I'll be real, when I first started Clone Wars I had no idea what the show was going to be, but I had a picture in my mind and "Jar Jar is mistaken for a Jedi Knight" was actually much closer to what I expected than the more dramatic episodes. It's still hilarious though.

"Heroes are made by the times" more like heroes are made by *checks notes* wearing a cloak. Apparently that's all that anyone needs to be a Jedi!

Anyway the intro to this is hilarious, Padme didn't want to risk diplomacy by bringing a clone escort but she WILL bring Jar Jar the walking embodiment of chaotic interference. Surely this will cause zero diplomatic incidents whatsoever. Even Palpatine is like MAY I RECOMMEND NOT FUCKING LETTING THAT BITCH TALK?

I LOVE Rodia though. Nothing is as visually pleasing as putting a city in a bubble.

As hilarious as this episode premise is, the Padme and Onaconda plot is a good one. Onaconda's desperation to help his people makes the betrayal feel tragic rather than rage inducing, though it would have been nice if this were set a little later in the season and we had an episode where we were allowed to see his and Padme's bond a little bit rather than her info dumping about what great friends they are just before everything goes to hell.

But that's enough seriousness! Back to Jar Jar trying to charm the local swamp dwellers! Literally just fucking shenanigans all over the place, slapstick bit after slapstick bit. How is this the plot that they emphasize in the description over literally everything else, we just don't know.

"Oh no... Jar Jar's been killed... I knew something like this would happen." DID YOU? DID YOU KNOW 3PO?

In general I'm not usually huge into slapstick but I will say that this cut:

Is the funniest fucking thing to me. He just stares exactly like this in silence. Why is his face cut off like that? Why did they frame it this way? What the fuck is happening in this episode? (Ignore how blue that second shot is, the cap site I normally use to grab my pictures didn't have the right moment of his. Expression.)

Even better is the fucking exchange when they find the robe.

"Thatsa looking like a Jedi robe. Whosa you supposing this belongs to?" "I wouldn't, um... know."

RIP C-3PO, eternally burdened by Knowledge.

The sight of Jar Jar in a robe has struck the horror into the hearts of Nute Gunray and every battle droid in the area. I love the underwater shots in this segment though.

Through all this we get the TINIEST glimpses of the Padme b-plot, never more than a minute at a time before going back to Jar Jar Binks and C-3PO Slapstick Theater. Padme's action sequence escape is pretty cool though.

"I regret the transmitters on the ship are out of order." "What?" "The ship has been destroyed." "Battle droids?" "No." "Jar Jar?" "Jar Jar."

Is this made to be funny exclusively to your average 10 year old, yeah, am I still endlessly amused by it in my 30s, also yeah.

Onaconda's scenes are such a contrast to this because he's here struggling with the actual guilt of potentially getting someone he cares for executed by a monster, that he's made a horrible mistake and doesn't know how to undo it. And then we're back to Jar Jar being Jar Jar and more battle droid hijinks.

Mood whiplash, mood whiplash EVERYWHERE.

Special shout out to this Creature that Jar Jar encounters underwater, though. I absolutely love this creature.

The creature being instrumental in catching Gunray is so funny because Gunray is trying to Escape by walking at a moderate pace. I don't know if he's actually capable of running.

Padme giving Onaconda the easy out to rejoin the Republic without incident and finally getting his people the help they need is a sweet little scene to end on. I really do enjoy this episode, it's silly but it's sweet, my favorite combination.

#the clone wars chrono rewatch

[spiralingsights]

uuuuhhh. do 16 thru 30 for barry w that tingy tingy <3

BRUH /POS WJEHBFEWJBFEWHBFEWHJ

---

What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

cops, mostly

What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

the first thing he typically notices is his nose !! other people first notice his lips or eyes

Who do they love truly, 100% unconditionally (if anyone)?

William, Michael, Elizabeth, Gregory, and Gaia of course !! also his little sister, Dorothy

What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they’ve been avoiding?

kill them, probably

Who do they like as a person but hate their work? Vice versa, whose work do they like but don’t like the person?

he loves William deeply, but some of the newer animatronics freak him out (he doesn't trust them). and i think the vice versa would be an author i don't know

What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it?

handshaking, and no lol <3

What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character?

clean out closets by getting in them ???? Bartholomew is claustrophobic

What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn’t / don’t even remember?

killing that guy in high school :/ his parents remember, they just don't know it was him

Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it?

Bartholomew would never steal <3 (it was probably white chocolate chip)

What subject / topic do they know a lot about that’s completely useless to the direct plot?

he had a psychology hyperfixation for a while. he never uses it when it would be best used

How would they respond to being fired by a good boss?

🥺😭

What’s the worst gift they ever received? How did they respond?

the scratchiest sweater imaginable. he wore it once and then was never bothered about it again

What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want?

he tells people he wants everything to be calm. really, he just wants his family to be safe and happy, even if life is chaotic.

How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them?

":/ that sounds like a you problem"

When they make a mistake and feel bad, does the guilt differ when it’s personal versus when it’s professional?

considering Bartholomew struggles to feel guilt at all, he feels none professionally and saves it all for personally

#asky doo #pure bxy 💚 #s/i: bartholomew afton

[fallynleaf]

Jasmine and Nutmeg for the ask meme! Mmmmm, fragrant.

ooh, thank you!!

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

book or movie, i'm honestly not sure. wrestling show, absolutely yes. there are honestly quite a few of them. many of them i'll never watch again simply because they're so dang long, and even though i loved them in the moment, i know that they'll never be as good in the future because i won't be able to revisit that unique point in time in which they came into existence originally. some of them, though, i wouldn't watch again for other reasons.

the example that stands out the most is probably AEW's Brodie Lee Celebration of Life, which aired on december 30, 2020, and which was possibly the most emotional media experience i've ever had. i've repeatedly struggled to explain this to non-fans, but i will try again! this was a wrestling show that happened when we were basically unable to have funerals, thanks to the pandemic (and we should have probably been unable to have wrestling shows, too, but thank DeSantis for that), so it essentially was a funeral, except it was a very public one in which the wrestlers, the crew, the fans, and his family all mourned the loss of Brodie Lee (who had died unexpectedly a few days before the show after battling health issues for months) the only way we really could. i actually really, really hate funerals, but this show, man... this show...

the thing about wrestling is that actor and character are one and the same, in a way they aren't for movies or tv. this show was simultaneously about the death of the character Brodie Lee and the man Johnathan Huber. it was sort of about his entire legacy as a wrestler and all the lives he touched throughout the years, and particularly the lives he touched in AEW during the short several months that he was there (one of the greatest tragedies in the company is that the show where Brodie was supposed to debut, in his hometown, was the first show that had to be filmed in an empty arena due to covid. he died without ever getting another chance to perform in his hometown).

everyone was in character but not at the same time. it was fake in the way that wrestling always is, but also real in the way that wrestling always is, too. i think a lot of tragedies are really about finding a way to grapple with the reality and mindless cruelty of death by folding it into a narrative, and that's exactly what this show did, all while giving the characters and their performers a space to grieve as well as celebrate someone who'd had an immense impact on them. AEW's booker and president, Tony Khan, basically completely rewrote his plans for the show that week and put the company's main storylines on pause so that they could devote the entire show to Brodie.

i don't know how it would even come across to someone who isn't a wrestling fan. parts of it would probably be very off-putting and jarring, in the way that pro wrestling is such a mess of contradictions (it's belief and disbelief at the same time, walking that fine razor's edge between fiction and reality). but they wrote it for people who understand what it's like to live in this world, who live in the world that Brodie lived in.

it was a show that was exactly what it needed to be, exactly what it should have been. no more and no less. the wrestlers were out there putting on the performance of a lifetime and then just breaking down into tears after their match was over. MJF was maybe the only person who never broke character because he had to play the villain so that Brodie's eight year old son, whose real name was Brodie (everyone called him "Brodie Jr." even though Brodie was only his father's ring name, not his "real" name), had a tangible bad guy to vanquish and got to play the hero on national TV and save some of his favorite wrestlers after he had to experience one of the most horrific things that can happen to a child.

at one point, Brodie's old tag partner Erick Redbeard made a surprise appearance. he was carrying a sign that said "goodbye for now, my brother. see you down the road". i don't believe in Heaven (and the concept of it honestly distresses me), but in that moment, i thought, "maybe Heaven can exist in kayfabe".

this was a show with a very long tail. eight years from now, if AEW lasts that long, Brodie Jr. will probably debut as a wrestler (he technically already has an AEW contract, though of course he is still a literal child), and some of these old threads will probably get picked up again as he attempts to reckon with his father's legacy. some other dominoes have already fallen: Bryan Danielson mentioned this show as one of the reasons he jumped ship to AEW from WWE in 2021, and CM Punk also listed it as a major reason why he decided to put his faith in AEW and come back to wrestling in 2021 after seven years of retirement...

(it stood out to Punk that the AEW roster didn't leak anything about Brodie's health problems until his death. in 2022, however, the boat got a lot leakier, which spurred on Punk's increasing distrust toward his fellow wrestlers, ultimately leading to his undoing, and nearly the undoing of AEW as a whole. it shook the company at its very core and seriously threatened the golden lovers story, my favorite wrestling story (and possibly favorite love story?) of all time, but THAT is a different story...)

sorry for the very long answer about a subject that you don’t care about! 😅

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

unfortunately i am currently stuck living with my parents for the foreseeable future, and i don’t have a whole lot of control over how my overall living space looks. i’ve thought quite a lot about what i want to have, though, and what i hope my future house looks like, if i’m ever able to actually live on my own for the long term...

i think i’ve probably told this story before, but my blog title, “all green and idols,” came from the Alan Moore comic Providence, where a character was quoting the 1902 novel Felix by Robert Smythe Hitchens. i have not read that book! but the quote was specifically describing a room, and as soon as i read it, i was like “wow that is my ideal house aesthetic, actually??” i’ve always been someone who has had trouble committing to one coherent aesthetic choice. i like too many things! and many of the things that i like are contradictory, and sort of compromise each other aesthetically if i combine them. but i do believe that “all green and idols” somehow embodies the full spectrum of aesthetics that appeal to me, and is actually a workable theme? so that is what i aim for, and what i wish my house to eventually look like.

#mizufae #thx

[soracities]

Sometimes I’m glad I never received any sort of romantic attention/I’ve actually avoided it due to personal trauma because I believe it has played a role in the fact that I’ve grown so detached from the obsession with youth that we see nowadays. I’m in my mid twenties and I feel somewhat disconnected from the world around me because the thought of turning 30, 40, hell even 50 60 and so on doesn’t scare me at all.

What is it that terrifies us so much? It can’t be just the fear of losing our attractiveness, I refuse to believe that and I also refuse to believe that so many intelligent and/or well educated people are still so terrified by the thought of growing older

I remember my mom, who’s a university professor (not to say that a profession in academia makes you better than anyone else, I’m just saying that she’s actually accomplished and satisfied with her professional - and also personal - life) who apparently never cared about obsessing over her appearance, never followed fashion trends or wore make up, told me that she fell into a depressive episode after turning 30 just because the very fact that she turned 30

Don’t get me wrong, I mourn the loss of my “youth” as well but just because I miss the wasted opportunities and the carelessness of my teenage years, it has nothing to do with my appearance or shame over growing older

But there’s absolutely nothing embarrassing or shameful about growing older and I hate society for making us believe that life (especially for women) ends after you turn 30 because it’s absolutely not true and so many new paths can open before us at any age

i hate it too, entirely! i think that's a very good and also interesting point about romantic attention, especially for women, because the fact that we've conflated youth with physical attractiveness and attractiveness with so many things and projected so many moral and personal attributes to them means that worrying about your looks is never just worrying about your looks: if it was, we'd all agree a lot more easily that these things are completely trivial but lines around the eyes are never just lines around the eyes and laugh lines are never just the physical engraving of joy onto your body (how beautiful is that?) -- they're always these politicised markers that remind you your value as a human being is conditional and as you move further and further away from whatever idealised form they've taken this decade, the further and further away you are getting from (the perceived idea of) being someone who matters, and who, therefore, is deserving of love and care and respect and consideration and even just basic decency.

more generally, though, sometimes i do think that fear has a lot to do with the expectation that Adulthood is something you'll enter with full readiness, confidence, and a thorough awareness that now You Know Exactly What You're Doing when in reality....it really, entirely, absolutely isn't. and when you do get to that "older" age and realise that, actually, you never feel fully ready or won't necessarily feel like a real Adult -- or rather, won't feel like an adult in the way that you, as a child or a teenager, looked at and considered the other adults around you and built your expectations on your perceptions of their knowledge and maturity, which could only exist because of the gulf and lack of your own awareness at that age -- the reality and the expectation clash in such a jarring (and scary) way that we think it's something missing in our wiring while everyone else has it figured out (they don't, either). we give quite a bit of leeway to youth i think, generally speaking anyway, and make exceptions and space for not knowing things or messing up because "they're just kids" or something along those lines and sometimes i think part of the fear is that once you get older you no longer have that, at least not on a societal level: you can be aimless and clueless at 22 (even though, at 22, you may feel you're doing it wrong and are running out of time) and most people around you will accept that as just being part of being 22 -- you're less likely to get that at 32, or 42, even though there is so much you will also be trying to figure out at those ages because we've assigned "figuring things out" to an age bracket instead of acknowledging it as a very natural process of life.

in any case i really am so happy for you that you are able to have such a healthy relationship to the idea of getting older because life is literally far too short to be worrying about something that you can't control so you may as well embrace every part of it. i also hope that whatever trauma you are carrying from the past is something you have been able, or will be able to, get help for if you need it so you can move forward into all the years ahead of you with added lightness xx

#ask #anonymous #the road is long and we have time

[tinyboxxtink]

"Black Magic" *Part 12*

Ayyyyy I fixed it!

For those who missed it, I wrote this chapter also on my phone because apparently I'm addicted to this story I can't focus on my real life even when I'm out.

Also sorry this is short but it was written in a Target parking lot on my phone. And also-- I just wanna put off "THE" part. 😂😬😘

Part 11

Part 13

Tag list

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

-----

Rafael shook his head, still reeling from your encounter. You had no idea what the hell you were talking about, he loved Olivia. He was sure of it. But the last thing you said nagged at him. Even if you had been some kind of crazy mind reading witch, that didn’t stop him from telling Liv about his father.

He had never told her, and if he was really honest with himself, he had no intention of telling her any time soon, maybe ever.

Why didn’t he want to tell her?

-----

Rafael decided to show you, he went straight to Liv's bridal room and knocked on the door.

"Yes?"

"Liv it's me."

"Rafa we can't see each other before the ceremony! It's bad luck!" She called through the door.

"Well it's more bad luck if we start this marriage with secrets." He replied.

Olivia's eyes widened: was he...was he going to tell her his middle name? All on his own? She KNEW you were full of shit

"O-okay just tell me through the door." Her eyes lit up with hope.

"No, I need to be looking at you or I might lose my nerve"

That was good enough for her! She swung the door open.

Rafael stared at her in awe, she had never looked so beautiful in all the years he knew her. He knew you were full of shit, he loved her completely.

"Liv I haven't been honest with you. My middle name isn't Antonio."

"It's not…?" Her eyes began to well up. It was happening. It was really happening.

"No, it's…." He paused and gazed at her. She was beautiful, she was perfect.... But there was no...safety.

"It's Ronaldo," he lied. "I just wanted you to have the right name on the marriage license"

"God damn it Rafael are you fucking kidding me? She yelled.

"What are you talking about?" Rafael was taken aback.

"Why can't you just tell me your real middle name? Why is that so hard for you?!" She yelled again..

"I'm sorry, you know that I'm lying? You know my real middle name?"

"What.. ? Yes...maybe, I don't know," she stammered.

"How do you know my middle name?" He asked.

" I, um...did...did you finish the flask I gave you?" She asked softly.

"....Excuse me?" Rafael asked suspiciously. He turned and walked back to his room. Olivia followed behind him quickly.

"You mean this flask that you supposedly gave me for our wedding day?" He asked, holding up a silver flask with his initials on it.

"You mean this nice loving gift, a token of your love on the most important day of our lives? You're asking me if I 'finished this'?"

"I.. well…" she stuttered.

"And what exactly is this Olivia?" He turned and headed to the bathroom of the groom suite.

"No Rafael, don't!!!" Olivia chase after him frantically.

Rafael opened the flask and poured its contests into the sink. To his horror and disbelief, a dark purple liquid poured out of it; as if it was purple and blue mixed together.

"Holy shit…" Rafael muttered.

"Oh my God!" he just stared in shock as the liquid dissipated down the drain. Olivia could only stand frozen in shock and couldn't speak.

"Oh my God, that girl was right wasn't she?" He stared at her.

"What girl? Was there a girl here?" Olivia quickly turned defensive. "Rafa you shouldn't listen to random ass people--"

"Oh no, fuck that Liv!" He screamed. Throwing the flask across the bathroom.

"What the hell was that?!" He gestured to the sink, now empty of the contents of the flask. "What the hell did you do to me?!

"Nothing!" She stuck to her denial. "It's just the color of the special liquor that I bought you. It's some kind of wine," She tried to think of a lie on the spot, but she wasn't great at it.

"Oh that is a load of shit!" Rafael scoffed while throwing up his hands. "I can't believe this...I can't believe some random ass girl knew more about me than you. She's right isn't she?"

"Rafa come on--" She started to speak, but Rafael wasn't hearing it.

"Oh no fuck that, fuck 'Rafa'. We're past Rafa, don't call me that!" Rafael screamed. "That girl was right, wasn't she? You made me forget her. I'm actually in love with her, aren't I?"

"No! You were never in love with her! That shit was fake. It was as fake as this!" She slapped her hand over her face after saying the last part inadvertently.

"Oh my God...This whole thing is fake. You manipulated my mind. You made me think that I was in love with you!" Rafael felt sick to his stomach.

"You are in love with me!" Olivia screamed. "You just needed to realize it," she added softly.

"And you wanted me to drink more so what? You could make me forget this ever happened so that I would marry you willingly? Like your little robot?" Rafael paced the room angrily.

"No I love you Rafael! That's why I did this! I did this for us!" She was crying now.

"That's BULLSHIT!" Rafael yelled.

"You didn't do this for me, you did this for you. You don't love me at all! If you really loved me, then you would want me to be happy no matter who that was with! I'm not your fucking Ken doll Liv! I'm not some guy you can just manipulate and tote around like some lap dog, doing whatever you say. That's not what love is!"

"Rafael come on, just look--- just, just drink this," she pulled out another vial from her bra. "Just drink it and you'll forget about this, and then we can be happy!"

"Are you not hearing me at all Olivia? Rafael asked her in actual disgust.

"You're still just trying to stick to your delusion? Don't come near me with that. In fact don't come near me at all. I can't. I can't even look at you right now," He started to storm out of the room but Olivia chased after him.

"Where are you going!?!"

"To get back what you stole from me!" Rafael yelled back, running out of the church.

----

You stood there in front of the penguins with Maria and Chloe just staring at them. It had gotten dark now. The tank was lit up, brightening the cave with its neon blue water. They looked so happy, just swimming and carefree, not a care in the world.

"Look at you guys," You sighed. "So happy, so innocent. You wouldn't lie to each other, you wouldn't manipulate each other, you just love each other unconditionally," You started to tear up.

"Oh honey…" Chloe came and put an arm around you.

"He's not coming, is he?" You looked at her with tears now dripping down your face.

She looked down at her watch; it had been about an hour since you had shown up there. That was about 20 minutes from the church. So it had been a while for Rafael to change his mind.

"I mean... I don't want to be Debbie Downer or anything but--" She have you a pity look.

"30 more minutes?" You pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

"Alright…." She looked at Maria who just shrugged sadly. Then she linked an arm in yours, laying her head on shoulder. "As long as you need."

------

Rafael was in an Uber, heading towards Central Park. He couldn't decide how he felt at the moment. He was enraged with Olivia for fucking with his emotions, his brain, his heart. How long has it gone on for?

Now that it had been a while since his last "dose", he was starting to realize he couldn't remember yesterday, or any of the past week, and it scared the shit out of him.

How could she do this? How could she just take memories from him like taking cookies out of a cookie jar? And with absolutely NO remorse? She was STILL trying to control him even when he was confronting her! Did she ever really love him? Were they ever really friends? It was like losing a lover and his best friend in one fell swoop.

And then there was you. Maybe you really had been Liv-- his lover and best friend. But she had taken that too, he had no memory of you whatsoever.

Even now he struggled to even remember your name. He was pretty sure you had said it in his dressing room, but all the shit he had in his system still left him all foggy. He did remember you knew his middle name, his Broadway dream.

You knew about Eduardo, how could he have told you about Eduardo? How important were you to him? How could he just forget that? He wanted that back, that safe feeling you were going on about. You were absolutely on the money about him never feeling safe once his Abuela had moved in with him and his mother. His mother's house never felt safe, even after Eduardo left.

His Mami was wonderful, but he never felt like he could ever fully be himself with her, because she wouldn't accept him. Which is why he never felt comfortable sharing himself completely, ever.

He wanted that safe feeling so badly….he wanted his feelings back so badly. Even if they were someone he supposedly didn't know.

"Uh….hey man are you ok? The Uber driver's question made him realize he was crying. The driver was awkwardly glancing back at him.

"Ahem...yeah no I'm fine. Can we uh...can we go any faster?"

"Hey man I can't control New York traffic," he gestured towards the stand still grid of cars.

He was still 5 blocks away. He wasn't entirely sure just how in love with him you were, though you were pretty damn hysterical at the church.

Would you wait all night? Have you already left?

"You know what, I think I can walk faster than this," Rafael told the driver as he got out on the curb and began running towards the park.

"....Don't forget to rate me five stars!!!" The driver called after him.

----

You glanced down at your phone, it had been 45 minutes since you had asked Chloe for 30. Maria was asleep on a bench, Chloe was falling asleep on your shoulder.

He wasn't coming. Olivia had won. You had to accept it.

You put your phone down and walked up to the glass of the penguin tank. They were all sleeping, except for one. They all were wearing these adorable harnesses that had their name on them, hers read "Penny".

Penny was sitting on a rock above the water, just staring at the "shore" of their enclosure.

You wondered if there was any explanation for that-- you googled "PENNY PENGUIN CENTRAL PARK ZOO". An article immediately came up. You scanned it, reading a particular sentence.

"....Penny's mate was killed in an accident at the zoo six months ago. Penguins are notoriously monogamous, so it's likely she won't ever take another mate. She just spends her night and days looking towards the place the Zookeeper's took Leonard from the enclosure."

Your heart broke, tears came to your eyes for the millionth time that day as you pressed a hand to the glass.

"I'm right there with you Penny, I know how you feel babe…" You sniffled as if the penguin could understand you. But she still continued to stare, waiting for her love to come back.

You wiped tears away and walked away from the tank over to Chloe and Maria, shaking her awake.

"Let's go," you sniffled.

"You sure honey?" She asked you as Maria stirred awake.

"Yeah…. it's over," you sniffled again, all out of water in your body.

She let you lean on her as you walked back up the stairs to the park.

You were so downtrodden, you didn't notice you had left your phone sitting in the enclosure.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fanficton #law and order svu

[all-about-seggs]

Haikyuu boys as Husbands Pt.1

A/N: these are pretty random so please excuse the crappyness.

Trigger warning's : Tw: pregnancy for Bokuto, implied sexual content in Oikawa's and Kuroo (not that much tho).

Oikawa Tooru-

Tries to be the perfect husband by waking up early and attempting to do all the chors and make breakfast. Then you wake up to the sound of your husband crying over his burnt toast and spilled cereal with a sink full of dishes¯\(°_o)/¯

Lots of kisses and flirting even after years into marriage bc "we gotta keep the spark alive!!"

He will never truly feels like you're his bc of his own insecurities (he may still have them no matter how amazing he has become) so he is still kind possessive and easily jealous. And he is still reluctant to share you with your own child as well if you ever decide to have any. Still has a childish side.

Will buy you cheerleader dress so can 'cheer' him during his matches and whines when you refuse to wear them. But his face lights up soon enough when you offer to wear it in the beadroom for him(๑♡⌓♡๑).

His idea of keeping the married sex hot even after a while is.... Roleplay ofc. Doctor/nurse, Master/maid, Owner/pet are a his top choices.

Buys you dresses and jewellery that accentuate your features and sometimes may make you embarrassed as well if you are not used to wearing form fitting stuff. He just wants to show you off.

Still looks at your wedding and honeymoon albums or any other old photos of you two and gets emotional. The dumb sap.

Kuroo Tetsuro -

I can see him marrying in his early 30's, Kuroo is a traditional guy and likes the idea of family but also not someone who rushes to make such an important decision so after getting into a serious relationship he might pop the question as soon as he's sure you're the one.

Calls you Mrs. Kuroo randomly for no reason.

Likes annoying you to no end. Although by now he knows your boundaries he still tries to push them cuz he loves getting any sort of reaction out of you.

He is probably pretty rich by now so he definetly buys you expensive gifts or brings back little too many souvenirs whenever he goes on his business trips.

He is pretty open about his affection for you so he often verbalize his love by saying I love you or telling you how much you mean to him.

He has been the one to take care of others and was always the mature one but he loves it when you pamper him and take care of him.

As the years pass on he gets more and more kinkier. Wants sex a LOT. He is good at expressing himself through both words and actions. And he's really good at makiy all the dirty talk he does true.

His heart melts everytime you are there to welcome him home (starts kissing you then and there).

Good at doing house chores and do them with you cuz it's a good bonding activity. Tho he can afford a maid.

A guy who likes banters in good nature. You're probably the couple who brings in the laugh with your back and forths everytime you go to any get-togethers.

The only time he will get flustered is when you openly express your feelings to him. Even then you are gonna have to corner him to render him speachless and that's not an easy feat. He's in the business line afterall.

Bokuto Kotaro :

He is always so full of energy. He's like a little pup everytime you pamper him or praise him.

Likes to be the little spoon especially when he's feeling down.

Wakes up before you and although he admires your sleeping face he definetly loses his patience and wakes you up pls don't be mad he's baby(◕દ◕)

He picks you up every time you kiss hug or when he gets excited (which is a LOT)

Goes through the daily dilemma of ' I want to show off my wife but what if they fall in love with her?' *Starts getting jealous of imaginary people*.

The husband who would do all the heavy work for you. Open all the jars. Shift all the furniture.

Just can't do house work all that well. But that isn't to say he doesn't try.

Really listens to you. Your every wish is his command until he gets distracted.

Buys too many clothes and forgets about them as soon as they go into your closet.( You had to give him a stict warning to not buy more unless he wants to go without kisses for a week, he almost cries at that).

Wants you to cook for him all the time even if it's not possible . Became a huge smiley giggly mess the first time you packed him lunch or better yet, went to his gym to drop it off. Even if he's a professional athlete he'll never turn down anything you made for him. Pouts if he has to share if with his team mates. Hinata always gets jealous of him during your mini lunch dateÓ╭╮Ò. He wants a cute wifey too.

Okay this might not be for everyone so feel free to skip this, tw: pregnancy

Bokuto definetly wants kids. Like not just one, atleast 2 or ideally 3. It probably comes from his own fondness of his siblings but if you don't mind then he would love to start a family with you quite early into the marriage. But! If it's not your cup of tea then he'll accept it, tho he might need a proper explaination and even a bit of convincing on your part before he finally gives up the idea.

#haikyuu #anime #hq #haikyuu!! #hq!! #haikyuu headcanons #headcanons #tw: pregnancy #slight smut #smut #haikyuu smut #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa tōru #kuroo tetsurou #Bokuto Kotaro #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu bokuto #oikawa toru x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x you #bokuto x reader #mostly gn reader #husband headcanons

[who-am-i-no-one]

Emma. (2020)

I watched this movie in late January. After multiple viewings and re-reading the book, I have a lot of thoughts about this adaptation.

It seems rather strange, given that Emma is part of my holy trinity of Austen novels, that I didn't watched the most recent adaptation earlier. I think it was mostly due to my initial impression that Anya Taylor-Joy's otherworldly looks didn't quite match what I had in mind for the titular character. I decided to give this version a try after watching Queen's Gambit. Not sure that Anya's looks will ever grow on me, but she did impress me as a young actress who seemed to have a maturity beyond her years.

Long story short: really wished I had seen this movie earlier! It is absurd and heartfelt at the same time, imo, the version that best imbues Austen's humor. It is now my favorite adaption, with the possible exception of Clueless, and I'm not quite sure how much of that is just nostalgia.

From the casting to the direction to the script to the costumes to the set to the soundtrack, I could tell the creative team really put a lot of love into this project. It's always a joy to watch something that's made with love and made well.

Direction

Autumn de Wilde's directing is quite good. I would never have thought this was her first feature. She certainly has a unique and colorful style, which is probably to be expected for such a famous photographer.

Funnily, while watching the movie I kept thinking it reminded me of early Hollywood romantic comedies like Bringing Up Baby (incidentally one of my favorites) or The Philadelphia Story, and then reading interviews and seeing that she had tried to bring in some of that style of humor made me feel rather validated. Also the servants' reactions were awesome!

Absolutely loved the fact that they decided to show that Knightley and Emma were in love with each other very early on in the story, with Knightley more aware of it. I've read some people complaining about the surprise of Emma's being in love being ruined. But come on, did anyone reading two chapters into the book think it wasn't going to be the two of them together in the end?

Loved how much of Knightley's point of view we got in this movie. This is one repressed pinning man. I can totally see this Knightley riding ventre a terre from London in the rain because he thought Emma was heartbroken.

The only gripe I had was the lack of Frank and Jane's subplot. As it seems they shot some scenes for that, I assume it was the director's discretion to take them out. I remember thinking while watching the movie that they must have expected the audience to be familiar with the story because some things just didn't really get explained or extrapolated on a lot. If you hadn't read the book it'd be 30 minutes or more into the movie before you put two and two together and figured out why Mr. Knightley is always at Hartfield.

Script

The script takes most of the dialogue directly from the book, which is awesome. I love Austen's writing because there is a certain musicality to it and retaining that in large part for the movie really made it better for me. The deftness with which Eleanor Catton moved dialogue from one scene in the book to a totally different one in the movie was quite brilliant. Everything flowed so well.

The scenes that differed from the book were also excellent - namely, I really loved the Jane/Knightley duet, the infamous nosebleed and first kiss scenes. 💖 I thought the screenwriter used those changes to quickly establish plot points and character arcs well.

Costume/Hair

Not a Recency expert so can't say much about the costumes and hair as far as period correctness but from reading other reviews it seemed like they were very true to the period. Obviously appreciated them taking the time to show the audience how men got dressed in that time (purely for research purposes obviously 😜).

Emma's dresses were all quite beautiful. I especially loved the black evening dress, the pink one with the roses and the proposal dress. Also loved the little pop of red shoes that went with the proposal dress. As someone who wore red shoes with her wedding gown I heartily approve.

Absolutely loved how Emma's curls unwound as her life unravels. Similarly think they must have done the same for Knightley to a lesser extent. His hair during the card playing scene at the Westons was quite terrible.

Set

I! Loved! Hartfield! It looked just like a doll house. Really most of the sets looked good enough to eat. So much pastel. Reminded me of French macarons.

I liked how everything in Donwell Abbey was shrouded in Holland covers. Makes a good point that Knightley barely lives there at all, that his home has been with the Woodhouses for quite a while now. Which, of course, makes his sacrifice at the end just a little bit less of a sacrifice?

Soundtrack

Isabella Waller-Bridge's music really meshed well with the tone of the entire film. The male and female opera singers, sometimes sounding as if they are bickering with each other and other times seeming to be in duet, was a brilliant touch. The folk music was a little jarring at first but really grew on me.

Johnny Flynn's end credits song "Queen Bee" is amazing. I love that we get Knightley's perspective at the end with a song written and sung by Knightley. It's a lovely coda to the movie. And now, if the next Austen hero doesn't write one for his SO I'm going to think him a very poor sort of lover.

Cast

Anya's Emma was really great. I'm glad they allowed Emma to be her bitchy self. Lol. I haven't watched the 1996 and 2009 versions in a while but I distinctly remember them making Emma too nice. I recall writing after watching the Garai version that Emma was actually mean and they should have let her be mean! If she's not a brat in the beginning, how will we see her change for the better later on? I love what a snob and how manipulative this Emma was and so assured of her place in her little society but still had the vulnerability of almost an imposter's syndrome which I feel most people can relate to.

Her chemistry with Johnny Flynn's Knightley was off the charts. Pretty much every scene they had together I half expected them to reenact the library scene from Atonement lol.

Mia Goth was a wonderful Harriet. She really captured Harriet's inexperience, naivete and diffidence. The orgasmic sounds she was making during the gypsies attack scene were awesome. Although, I could probably have forgone a few of Harriet's scenes for more Frank and Jane.

Not sure why they made Mia go brunette since the book specifically mentioned Harriet was fair? Perhaps having all three leads as blondes was just a bit too much. I'm also not sure if I liked Harriet's ending as I really don't think Emma, even in her most contrite mood, would invite further friendship from a tradesman's daughter and soon-to-be her husband's tenant farmer's wife. This seems a piece of modern day wishful thinking on the part of the creative team.

Bill Nighy was so good as Mr. Woodhouse. He made it so believable why everyone would do everything in their power to accommodate his whims. The gag with the screens was too funny. He was able to sketch out a lonely quirky old man who is afraid to lose those close to him in very limited screen time. Absolutely loved the scene where Emma was heaping blame on herself and he just sat with her in sympathetic silence.

Miranda Hart's Miss Bates was excellent as well. She has long been one of my favorite British comedic actresses but she can also do drama well. Her reaction to Emma's teasing on Box Hill and her forgiveness of Emma later brought me to tears.

Josh O'Connor's Mr. Elton was deliciously creepy. The carriage proposal scene was at once a little scary and hilarious. I actually liked the portrait scenes a little less because I found the acting there slightly affected and veering into 1995 Mr. Collins territory. But as Austen described Elton as having "a sort of parade in his speeches", this was much more forgivable. Really loved Mr. Elton's determination to eat cake during the Eltons' visit to Hartfield.

Tanya Reynolds was an excellent Mrs. Elton and in very little screen time was able to bring to life this meddlesome nouveau riche. Adored her little shimmy during the ball.

Amber Anderson's Jane really looked as if she were in a decline. Callum Turner did a good job as a slightly restless, mischievous and immature Frank Churchill. I did feel his looks were a bit too modern but that's just my personal view.

Given how many scenes they had I thought they used the time they had pretty well with furtive glances and sly smiles at each other to establish the relationship.

Connor Swindells was such a love sick puppy as Robert Martin. Did this role ever get cast in other adaptations? I don't seem to recall at all.

Special shoutout to Oliver Chris's John Knightley. Absolutely had me in stitches.

And last but never the least, Johnny Flynn's Mr. Knightley:

To preface, I will never not fall for Mr. Knightley in any version that I watch. And really, get yourself a good looking enough actor with good enough chemistry with Emma and good enough acting chops and you should have a fairly successful Knightley.

I judge all my Knightleys by the Box Hill scene. And up to that point in the movie, I really liked Johnny Flynn's Knightley. He was playful and sexy and jealous and slightly bitchy as well. The duet scene was lovely because I always appreciate a man who can play instruments and sing well. The sexiness and chemistry of the dance scene was off the charts. That's all well and good. And like I said before, given any well cast actor, I probably would have liked them in those scenes as well, just as I've liked Northam's and Miller's Knightleys.

But, the Box Hill scene absolutely blew me away. To make sure I was not just biased towards the last Knightley I saw on screen, I did go back and compare each version's Box Hill scene and I am, actually, even more blown away. Some of it is a credit to the directing and script, but a large part of it is Johnny Flynn's acting in that scene.

As far a script and directing, the set up to the fight scene was fantastic. Loved Anya's expression changes after she makes the joke. Loved Miranda Hart's Miss Bates as she realizes what Emma meant. The silence that followed. Knightley's shocked face and how sympathetic he was to Miss Bates. Can probably write a whole thing just about this scene alone.

I loved the fact that Knightley had an internal struggle as to whether or not to approach Emma and reproach her for her behavior. I know the book has him tell Emma about his struggle but that just doesn't work as well for me on screen.

During the scene you can just tell how frustrated and disappointed in her he is even though he tries to keep his voice low. But the way he reprimands her does not at all feel lecture-y and I feel like part of it is because it seems like he starts to lose control a little bit as well. His voice starts to crescendo as she stubbornly refuses to admit she was in the wrong and culminates in "badly done, indeed!" with actual fingerpointing. Yikes.

Then he losses steam and looked regretful, almost devastatingly so, at his own outburst and perhaps felt that he was losing her by giving this speech and looked as if he would have said something more - an apology or some words of comfort to soften the blow? - but didn't.

This remorse and the struggle at the beginning really bookended the scene for me.

Absolutely loved his Knightley, and, really, him as an actor after that.

The proposal scene as well was very good. His delivery was just really good. The way he said "If I loved you less then I might be able to talk about it more." with some regret and then closing his eyes as if he can't believe what he just said. Soooo good. Also, he cries very pretty, lol.

The delivery of the three "yes" during the kiss scene as Emma asked for confirmation that he really was ok with giving up his house to come live with them was also brilliant. It just kept getting softer and softer but he never breaks eye contact. Absolute chef's kiss. His closed eyed little smile of content after Emma kisses him just made me melt into a puddle.

Yup, overall I'd say I rather liked his interpretation of Mr. George Knightley. 😜

I did wish they hadn't giving him such sideburns but after watching some Emma interviews I can totally understand. If he didn't have the sideburns there'd be more complaints about how young this Knightley was. He's got such a baby face.

...I seemed to have written an entire essay on this movie...yeah, I just have a lot of feelings and thoughts about this version...

#Emma #emma 2020 #jane austen #movie review #austen adaptations

[contentgreenearth]

TRUE TYPES POST #27: JOE

DISC: S/I profile; result: S/I (C), slot 30* (this is the most typical version of S/I)

SOJT type: fully differentiated Ni-f ( D>A dominant serves as dominant)

MBTI type most resonant: INFP* (this is the most typical version of INFP)

What were  you  like  in high school? 

In high school, I was smart, I got good grades, and was in NHS. I also acted in the theater department, sang in the choir and played drums. I was definitely not part of the "in" crowd

What is your  greatest  fear? What do you  do to address it? 

My greatest fear is change, and I've made a conscious effort to try to be more flexible and spontaneous, so that change isn't quite as jarring. But unfortunately, it still is

Was  there a time in your life where you felt you hit  rock bottom? What was the  situation  behind  it? 

No. I feel, a lot of times, like I'm kind of on the outside looking in, when it comes to life experiences, so I don't really know if I've personally truly lived enough life to hit rock bottom

Where  would  you  put yourself  on the social spectrum, and why? 

I'm an introvert, but a more social one. I'm close to an ambivert, but not quite

What are some things that really bother you? 

I absolutely hate being told what to do. It also bothers me a lot when people pull me into their conflicts, and want me to mediate or solve them. Sorry, folks. I hate conflict, and I'm not a problem solver. Please leave me alone

What,  would you say, are your biggest strengths? 

It's kind of hard for me to look at myself, but I can tell you what people say about me. They say I'm non-judgmental and kind, and a good listener. I don't know how true those views are, or if they really match with reality

What,  would you say,  are your  biggest  weaknesses? 

For this one, people say I'm very stubborn and set in my ways, that I jump to conclusions a lot, and that I have some things I do on a routine basis that are not helpful or beneficial in any way. But once again, I'm not a good judge of this, and don't know how true these views are either

When  you  switch  your  attitude between  introverted  and  extroverted,  or vise versa,  what are  you  like?

When I'm extroverted, it's almost like I'm not afraid of anything. I could be wrong, though

What was the hardest  thing  you  ever had  to  do? Why was  it  so  hard? 

I can't really answer this question, because I don't think I've really experienced hard times. Like I said, a lot of times, I just don't feel fully present in my life, so a lot of these are hard to answer

What are you  like  when  you're  sad? 

I'm not very emotional, and I don't really get sad. But if I did, I'd certainly deal with it in a private way

How masculine/feminine  do  you  feel  in relation  to others  of your  gender? 

I feel average for the most part, maybe a little more masculine than most men, right now. In the past, I have had some "feeling feminine " moments

Here's  4 focuses  you can have in  life: tasks, people,  objects and ideas.  Which one would  be  your  primary focus and why? Which one  would be your  secondary  focus  and why? 

Ideas are definitely first. They rule over me, and my thinking, for sure. Next, I would say people, because, as I said earlier, I'm social for an introvert

What do you  do to have fun? 

I think it's fun when me and my family can do something fun together. It can also be fun for me to be alone, and spending time in my thoughts

What was  the  nicest thing you ever  did  for  someone,  and why did  you  do  it? 

This is a hard question to answer for more reasons than one. If I have to....people say I give good advice, but it's more philosophical than actually practical. People say I've helped them too, but I didn't particularly view what I did as helpful, but I took the compliment anyway. I guess that's what happens when you live your life like an outsider looking in. You really don't know what's true, what's false, what's real, and what's a misunderstanding. Sorry about that

That's okay, Joe. Thanks for sharing with us

An interesting thing to note about this is that I was quite surprised when Joe, and some others like him, ended up being INFPs. INFP is yet another type that has been grossly misrepresented in the typing community from the days of Kiersey and Grant on. Joe, however did fit the description of INFP in Gifts Differing, and also fit a lot of descriptors that Jung function bloggers Akhromant and Rin-entropy mention for INFPs, and based off of that, I have to say Marston (DISC) and Jung (functions) called this one right.

Additional typologies I've been able to do since:

Big 5: high on O,A,N. Low on C and E (RLUAI)

Enneagram: 5w6, sx/so, 592

Additudinal Psyche: VELF

Greek Temperament Blend: Phlegmatic/Sanguine

#typology #mbti stuff #infp

[darkpoisonouslove]

1, 5, 23 :)?

Thank you!

1. What themes would you like to write about that you feel don’t get explored very often?

Themes aren't usually the first thing that emerges in my stories (and tbh I write a lot of romantic love, trust, loneliness, etc. and I feel like those have been done to death) so I'll just list some things that I want to see more in stories. The themes might emerge from there.

- established relationships - 99% of the media I've watched/read focuses on the pre-relationship period like it's everything and once they get together, that's it. I love fairytales but that's the only place where "and they lived happily ever after" ending is something I won't call bullshit on. Irl the problems don't end after people get together. In fact, getting in a relationship is usually the easy part. Sustaining that relationship is what's hard. Unfortunately, when most writers think of hardships to put happy couples through, it's usually some kind of stupid jealousy or cheating drama and I think that's the reason why so many works avoid the inclusion of couples in established relationships. The creators just don't know what to do with them and that's sad. Also, I feel like this phenomenon is fed into by the fact that the understanding that your life ends at 25-30 has become so prevalent nowadays and people in established relationships usually land in the over 25-30 age category. So I would really like to see more exploration of building a home for yourself with someone else especially if one - or both - of you haven't yet fully figured out your own lives regardless of age.

- (grand)parent/children relationships - this might be mostly due to me watching/reading YA/NA fantasy/sci-fi but I rarely (if ever) see the protagonists (or any of the characters, really) have any kind of relationship with their parents. I get it that the presence of adult/parental figures may (seemingly) limit how active the teenage protagonists can be in the story but I'd say that that's more a problem of bad writing rather than anything else. The fact that the characters have mentor figures to rely on does not necessarily have to mean that they have to give up their autonomy. In fact, making their own choices in contrast with what they were advised by the adults might highlight their agency further. And the thing that's really jarring to me is that these teenagers/new adults go through so much trauma that would crush any normal person but they're fine even though they don't have any kind of stable moral and emotional support from an adult. I know teenage years are hard and getting along with parents can be more stressful than helpful but parents are still a big part of any teenager's life and I think that there should be place for them in a story. Some examples of where such dynamics are done well are: Jumanji: The Next Level, W.I.T.C.H. (especially the episode where Nerissa is trying to kidnap Yan Lin), Crooked Kingdom (Six of Crows #2), books #3, #4 and #5 (I think) from the Underland Chronicles, The Hunger Games (even if this is more an example of how you can separate the parent from the kids without them being physically absent). In all those examples, the kids make their own choices despite the advice and guidance the adults can provide them with but you're still reminded of that family dynamic and it not only serves a purpose in the story, but is also adorable.

- fantasy based on the author's own cultural knowledge and experiences - it's common knowledge that a lot of fantasy just has a generic medieval Europe setting. I really do get how it can be easier for new writers to fall into that because it's familiar from everything they've read and would therefore demand less efforts to write. I've been there myself. But when you really look at it, it doesn't take less efforts. If you want to be accurate, you still need to do a lot of research that wasn't handed to you in the ready products that you've already read. So if you have to research anyway, you can just try to do something that is both more original and closer to your heart. Taking inspiration from your own culture and the stories you've grown up with. It instantly adds a breath of fresh air to the story and helps it stand out amidst all other fantasy. Even if you don't draw from any stories and mythology you've grown up with, using your own experiences and crafting your world to reflect them will surely make it more interesting than just copy-pasting what you've seen others do.

- magic explored as an extra sense - this is one of my biggest pet peeves. Authors will write characters having magic but they won't have any kind of sensitivity towards the magical happenings around them. As in someone else with powerful magic is about to attack them but they feel nothing. It just annoys me to no end. Now the good news is that this doesn't really happen quite as often as the other things I've listed here. I can think of many shows that do this well (OUAT for one, Fairy Tail, LotR, at least three others that escaped me while I was typing the rest of this paragraph) but it still makes me livid when it's missing (*cough* Winx Club *cough*).

5. Would you rather write a happy ending that soothes the soul or a tragic ending that hurts the heart?

Whatever the story needs. I have no problem writing devastating endings if I think it'll suit the story. In fact, I won't allow myself to write a happy ending that's nonsensical in the story. I don't care how badly I'll have to hurt myself and the readers with the angst. That being said, I do try to write the happiest possible ending for a story. I wouldn't make the ending depressing just to be dark and edgy.

23. Do your prefer reading series or standalone novels and does that reflect on how you write?

It depends, and no. Standalone books are better from a time management PoV. You can invest less time in them and you still get a complete story (it's also cheaper). Plus, that way you can pick up other books instead of keeping up with the same story of a series. However, I do prefer TV series to movies and that is also true with books to an extent (depends much on the story and the quality of the writing). You can spend more time with the characters and get to know them. The downside today is that a lot of series are just unnecessary cash grabs because the first book (or the first three) was successful. It really depends on the book/series in question. My preference in reading has no bearing on my writing, though. Any idea I have will grow to novel-length and even into an epic series if I allow it. It's just how it is and I have to remind myself to slam the brakes at some point.

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