#back of my brain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vlindervin7 · 1 year

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being fluent in a second or third language truly does not guarantee a smooth interaction with your native languages, i’m over here fighting for my life trying to translate the most basic words for my students

#it doesn't help that i have to translate into french i think... bc my vocabulary is much more #extensive in dutch or at least more easily accessible cause ill know the words in french when i see them but they are buried so far in the #back of my brain #jasmine has thoughts

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indigo6f00ff · 7 months

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need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this.#but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt.#i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

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honeytuesday · 1 year

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i am at the very beginning of the rest of my life. this truth will not change with age

#that passage about choosing to live each day like yoube already died and been brought back to live again #it is doing numbers on my brain

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shadowtraveled · 2 months

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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy

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yuzuuu4 · 27 days

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(post 2.1 quest) unexpected

#they make me so ill i swear to god #im delusional therefore aventurine lives and ratio welcomes him back like this #i need 2.2 yesterday #excuse how messy it is bc i just wanted to get the gay out of my brain #its still there of course #ratiorine #dr ratio #veritas ratio #dr ratio hsr #aventurine #hsr aventurine #honkai star rail #hsr

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catmask · 4 months

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rotating this freak

#im trying to figure out how to draw my fursona more three dimensionally and im fighting every spirit and demon in my brain to do it #its hard to draw back views three dimensionally like the abck of the head. i need to figure out how tf to do that #fursona #img #my art #furry

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spookberry · 4 months

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Idiot to Idiot communication

#there's a part 2 to this in my brain but idk if I'll draw it and this can stand alone fine too #danny phantom #my art #van life au #agit technically #i like when older danny grows his hair out but i could kinda see him avoiding it as a way of avoiding that evil alt future #like hes uncomfortable with how it likens back to it #but maybe having van around and seeing that alt future version try to be a better person in their 2nd chance could #ya know relieve any of that anxiety #so i wanted to illustrate them having a conversation about it #but i got stuck on thia funny beginning part #who knows if I'll get around to the serious part

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lotus-pear · 4 months

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doing skk meme redraws instead of sat prep >:)

#someone pls get them out of my fucking head my brain isn’t allowing me to draw anyone else #pls put me out of my misery i don’t know how much longer i can be obsessed w these pathetic losers #running back to my toxic ex every week except the toxic ex is my skk obsession #also i drew the hat this time i’m so proud of myself 🤩#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #soukoku #skk #lotus draws

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kitmarlowe · 5 months

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#doctor who #dwedit #jodie whittaker #thirteenth doctor #gif #14 freaking out just sent me back to 13 and this happened #the scenes i remember anyway #a mess of a post to match my mess of a brain #because she was very much Not Okay #miss yoooouuuuu

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wardingshout · 4 months

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Zelda goes mushroom girl

#tloz #a link to the past #zelda #link #my art #I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one...#I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea #I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat.#it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd #if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl......#I'm falling back into my old ways rn though #anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends #like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder #they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it #in a proper way that might make sense....#if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth #and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh

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mishoru · 8 months

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Start Carving, Darling

#I said I'm back and then forget to post here #I swear to god my adhd is fucking my brain #illustration #art #procreate #hannibal #will graham #hannigram #dr lecter #hannibal fanart #hannigram fanart

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dearabsolutelynoone · 1 month

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“…This Author refuses to believe that theirs is anything but a love match.” - LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS, 15 JUNE 1814

Julia Quinn, The Viscount Who Loved Me (Bridgertons, #2)

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chrollohearttags · 6 months

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we don’t talk about plug!eren, who is the perfect gentleman. The one who holds doors open for you, great manners with your folks, best friends with your younger siblings and cousins, your homegirls love him and just an all around good dude. The one who would drive clear across town in the middle of the night to get your favorite snacks, the one who’d hear you stressing and talking about some bill or expense you have and quietly go take care of it. “I already told you, don’t worry ‘bout that, mama. It’s handled.” Or the one who never exposes you to his lifestyle because it’s the last thing his princess needs to concern herself with. He’s so sweet, kind and loving..one would never guess he wouldn’t hesitate to kill a dude who shorted him on his money or supply. Or that just shortly before coming home to you, he probably beat someone unconscious for trying to set him up on a lick. You wouldn’t know a thing..not when he quietly slides into bed, where you’re lying flat on your stomach, in nothing but a t shirt, bonnet and panties, waiting for him to slide them off while he kisses down your spine. Muttering in your ear to just stay still and let him take care of you. “You awake, mama? I missed you..” In the deepest gruff as he delicately touches your skin, appreciating every inch. And you realize just how much he does when he spreads you open from behind, gripping your asscheeks and planking firmly on top you as he feeds you deep, passionate strokes. Slowly drilling you..with those sweet whimpers underneath him. You didn’t even have to move an inch, all he needs you to do is keep moaning and let him claim that beautiful pussy. That spot opening up so nicely after a couple thrusts. His tattooed hand and gold watch placed at the small of your back to keep you pinned down. “Mmm…just like that, baby. You ain’t gotta do shit..daddy got you.”

and he always will take such good care of his girl.