#basically what i am saying is be kind to me if i am wildly off the mark of

[ghostofadragon]

ok this is out of the blue but this fandom is super small so theres no one to talk to about it and also I just wanna know: do you have any thoughts on the knife scene in Batman Unburied? because I've been thinking about the podcast and that scene is one of the more stand out character moments imo because on the one hand you have Babs being noticeably scared and on edge during that part implying that despite how nonchalant she seems she (reasonably) must've been on edge like this the whole time she's been around Eddie and that her whole (more or less) cool and collected demeanor is at least in part just a brave face she puts on and on the other hand you have Eddie just straight up not getting that Babs is scared of him in that moment, instead thinking that she is worried he's contaminating evidence and only realizing she's threatened by him after being told to put down the knife thrice which implies he genuinely didn't even consider hurting Babs/Babs thinking he might hurt her an option and that's just kinda interesting imo considering he's a whole professional criminal and possibly even a murderer. aaand this implied difference in how they perceive the whole teamup situation (Babs being constantly on edge while Eddie's just having a relatively normal time mystery-solving) would also fit with how he keeps talking about them as a 'we' later while Barbara keeps telling him off that 'there is no we' (which we know can't quite be true cause earlier she kept referring to them as 'we' too as Bruce points out when they find him). But anyways...what's your thoughts on this scene or their 'team' dynamic?

hmmmm that's a good one! id have to relisten to the scene to really think about it comprehensively but from what i recall i didn't really personally interpret it as eddie straight up not realizing that barbara was afraid of him/concerned what he might do/or etc (like, after the initial misunderstanding anyway) but more that he was kind of in disbelief/maybe mildly amused and maybe also somewhat hurt by it & trying to hide it but like, in an expected way? like, 'oh yeah of course shes going to be weird about it she's A Cop and Has History With Me (Technically) why would she put any regular amount of trust in me to not be a risk with a bladed weapon and i shouldnt get my hopes up for her to not think of me that way' especially since barbara has spent like the past six(?) years basing pretty much her entire opinion of edward purely on his criminal record and specifically that he stabbed her dad With a bladed weapon so like i think its fair to say it was a little bit of a trauma moment on her part lol i definitely agree with you abt barbara being kind of obviously on edge the whole time, i can't really claim to know if this is accurate to canon or not but i like to believe that part of her unease directly stems from the fact that edward makes like, a lot more sense to her than she wants to think about. like she showed up determined to hate him and he does annoy her to some degree for sure but he is making it really hard for her to not sympathize with him and she doesnt really want to consciously confront that. i'm probably biased bc i love that kind of character dynamic but i really am a sucker for characters not wanting to confront that they are starting to enjoy being around someone who doesn't align with like, their personal image of who they are Supposed to like being around. idk i actually have quite a lot of thoughts about how barbara interacts with most of the other characters we see her with vs how she interacts with edward with respects to like, how people routinely worry about or judge the way barbara tends to do things when left to her own devices vs how (as far as i recall) most or all of edward's criticism of what shes doing comes from when shes thinking too far in the box as opposed to too far out of it. idk! they are interesting to me

#i didnt relisten to the scene to type this so please excuse any inaccuracies lol its been a few days #excuse any inaccuracies in general actually i am not very.... secure? in my interpretations of characters. i have no basis to assume that i #am correct about any of this #basically what i am saying is be kind to me if i am wildly off the mark of #what you think is reasonable #but here are my thoughts at least #ask #anonymous

[crossdressingdeath]

Lord Enver Gortash: You seek Gortash? His soul is already suffering at my hands. That is the fate of all those who fail me. Kyvir: If you're not Gortash, then who are you? Lord Enver Gortash: I am Bane, The Black Lord. I am the Ultimate Tyrant. I am Fear, I am Hate. And you - you are the dagger that bled Myrkul's favoured. You are the thorns that prick at my sides. Yet you are proof that still I will rise, and Bhaal and Myrkul will yield. One question asked. Four still remain. Kyvir: Why did you ally with Myrkul and Bhaal? Lord Enver Gortash: Why do red dragons ally with the githyanki? Why did the Broken God befriend Tyr? [Ah, but you already know the answer. By making one ally, you deny them to another.] And by turning mortals illithid, you deny their souls to their keepers. You do not stoke fear by reaping your own fields, but by burning your foe's. Kyvir: You said I am proof you will rise. What did you mean? Lord Enver Gortash: You live for power. You have proven it with every fallen foe, every chest opened, every skill claimed. As long as mortals and immortals vie for sharper blades and louder voices, I am strengthened. So it is for Bhaal and Myrkul - and so it is for you. You make me eternal. Kyvir: I am no agent of yours. I seek power for proper ends, not for its own sake. Lord Enver Gortash: *Chuckle.* Narrator: *The corpse says nothing more. You did not ask a question.* Kyvir: What can I do to earn your blessing, Lord Bane? Lord Enver Gortash: You have already laid the foundation. You gained my favour when you slayed Gortash. Your need for power exceeds even his. Use the Netherstones to commandeer the brain and unleash your infected army, and I will count you among my chosen. Or do not. Your lust for victory still brings you one step closer to me.

Okay, I think this dialogue glitched somewhat. First off I didn't kill Gortash myself, and also I'm pretty sure Bane is supposed to have unique dialogue with Durge? I know I've heard something about him being awfully impressed with them, I think I somehow got the generic dialogue instead. Also there was no audio for the dialogue, which... boo. Let me hear Bane talk through Gortash's corpse.

It is fascinating how Bane kind of just... claims you as his? Unlike Bhaal with Durge there's no big "serve me or die" and unlike Myrkul there's no attempted punishment for killing his Chosen, he basically just says that no matter what you do you'll be getting closer to him, just because you want to win. Even if you don't take over the world, your lust for victory is something that brings you nearer to Bane; he wins no matter what. It doesn't matter if you insist that you don't want power for its own sake, the fact that you want power serves him. I also love how you can straight up ask him how you can win his favour. You don't have to worship him or anything, you can just. ask that.

Also of course: poor Gortash. He really did do his best to serve his master! It's not his fault that things got so wildly out of hand! Losing Durge really did mess everything up, and he tried his best to handle it from there. Is Bane punishing him just for his failure? Because he was willing to share power once it became clear that was necessary? Hell, maybe even because losing his friend did do so much damage; I feel like Banites aren't supposed to be that reliant on another person. But whatever the reason, he just... gets to be tortured forever even though the plan going tits up wasn't his fault, I guess. Lucky guy. The Dead Three are not particularly understanding masters.

#bg3 #bg3 bane #enver gortash

[charmikarma]

hallo it's me. (crookedgrifter) I'm back and I want your davejade / davejadekat thoughts. gimme

my thoughts huh ... i sure am a rambler so you're gonna get a whole essay on this

i guess in thinking abt davejadekat it always starts with jade. which is well enough because davekat has been talked to death at this point, hasn't it? i don't think i could tell you anything new or interesting about that dynamic at this point.

ANYWAY. jade. i kind of get into this in my polar express fic which ik you've read, but she is SO lonely. what the fuck are you supposed to do for ~10 years alone on an island with just a dog?? a dog who could take you somewhere else, somewhere with people, but he won't. and maybe jade knows why because of her dreams on prospit, but also maybe not! either way i think she puts a lot of faith in her dreams. it's kind of the only hope she has for the future.

i think she also has some hope in dave, this really cool dude she has this awkward internet middle school crush on. and dave is super cool to her too! i think it's implied he furry roleplays with her even?? cutest shit ever. i think this is the thing that has made me always love davejade ... they are just. so sweet to each other. dave clearly cares SO much about her.

the other thing about jade is... she's kinda fucked over repeatedly by the narrative, isn't she? she's the last beta kid introduced, so she has a lot less time to develop. the closest she really gets to developing is being really pissed off at karkat after her dreamself dies (i'll talk about this in a sec). her arc basically ends at cascade. her character arc ends in the dead middle of the comic, in a flash animation that contains exactly 0 character development. hussie says so himself in the author's notes. (don't even get me started on the author's notes jesus christ.) everything that happens on the boat is pretty much irrelevant, because it gets retconned out. instead she spends 3 years completely fucking alone, and we like... barely unpack this in canon.

so her life story up until this point is basically: raised by grandpa till ~3-5ish > living on her own till 13 > meeting dave briefly in the game > DAVE FUCKING DIES IN FRONT OF HER, WITH HER OWN BULLETS > she meets john briefly > JOHN AND DAVESPRITE FUCKING DIE > she spends 3 years alone with no solace except "yeah they had to die but you'll see them again in the new session" from alt!calliope and i guess a bunch of sprites and consorts and chess dudes. she says it herself: as nice as it is to have these folks around, they're not able to relate to her. they're not fellow thirteen year old kids. she may not be technically alone, but she is essentially alone, and she just 1. died twice in one day and 2. witnessed the deaths of several of her friends.

more on being fucked over by the narrative - jade actually has a kind of interesting dynamic with karkat in the middle of a5a2! what happens with this dynamic later on? fucking nothing!!!! like seriously i am so interested in this whole. self-hatred parallel that gets drawn between them and then how jade puts her foot down and is like you are fucking nuts. no more yelling at yourself. and it goes nowhere!! this dynamic exists for like, maybe 1% of the comic. it's really fucking sad honestly. even at the very end of homestuck, she has to be sidelined for being too powerful, thereby excluding her from all the endgame convos. like we cannot win with her

ok anyway, here's where i get into the stuff i think is really interesting. at the end of homestuck, alt!calliope tells jade that she's suffered enough, and that it's time for her to live her life how she wants to. we don't see how this plays out in homestuck proper, BUT...... the epilogues. sighs heavily.

i may be an epilogues lover but even i have to admit that jade's portrayal is.... a mess. i don't think it's wildly out of character, exactly, but it definitely toes the line... and it's definitely extremely fucking uncomfortable. it does, however, give me some insight into how i think about jade now, because while the minutiae don't really feel in character, i do think the broad strokes of what they were going for make sense.

jade took alt!calliope's words and said, fuck it. i will take charge! i won't wait anymore! i am going to have what i want. and she does get a lot of that! she gets to hang out with her friends, hang out with her brother, meet a ton of people, have a bunch of sex (presumably when she's older), and so on. but see... doing a lot of things doesn't really fill the emptiness she feels. she has so much love to give and not enough outlet for it. she needs all the love in the world and has nobody to give it to her. and she still has this big fat ten-year-old crush on dave strider that never went anywhere. but the approach she takes to life now is just... so incompatible with what dave needs. same for karkat. they both need a LOT of patience to come out of their shells, and jade is living life in the fast lane. the more she pushes, the more withdrawn they become. it is a disaster.

i want to fix it so fucking bad.

jade needs a lot of character development for all this to work, but the dynamic is absolutely there. some of their convos in early meat are so fucking funny dude, they are such good friends. it is absolutely not for lack of caring on either dave or karkat's part that things don't work out in the epilogues. it's this disconnect between what jade thinks is helpful and what dave and karkat need. i really want jade to find the balance between living at breakneck speed and waiting ten years for something to happen. i want her to feel loved for once in her damn life. and i want dave and karkat to stop being such depressing shut-ins. please guys you could balance each other out if you would just figure out how to communicate

anyway. there's your essay. it's mostly about jade. hope that's ok. i love jade harley so much my ultimate goal is to see her happy and mark my words i will figure out how

#homestuck #homestuck meta #jade harley #davejade #davejadekat #I GUESS?? #this is basically me rambling about jade for 3 hours let's be real here #ask #mine #jadepost

[takerfoxx]

I'm not traditionally a poly shipper (though I've been delving more into it as time goes by), but if there's one that I'm absolutely gaga about, as if in makes my personal top five ships and might even slot in right beneath KyoSaya and SuleMio, it's the one that almost certainly could not and should not happen in canon, but the thought of it still kinda makes me rabid with what could have been.

I am of course talking about AsuReiShin, AKA the Israfel Special.

Evangelion shipping is often a bizarre experience, especially amongst the core trio of pilots. There is just so much material among these incredibly fucked up characters, so many things that ought to be drawing them together, and yet they are all damaged in such specific ways that drive them to behave increasingly toxic, avoidant, or even abusive toward one another. They're all such hot messes of trauma and hangups that, hate to say it, the Rebuild ending of everyone essentially just making peace with one another and fucking off with Shinji hooking up with the controversial new girl that he at least doesn't have any baggage with was probably the healthiest choice, if not the most satisfying.

But even so, the reason I dig this triad specifically is because if you change even just a little bit about each character, you find the same traits that drove them apart suddenly drawing them together, and each individual pairing makes so much sense. Asuka and Shinji is the most obvious, with Asuka's aggressive bullying suddenly becoming proactive encouragement, and Shinji's meek avoidance now becoming the calm, stabilizing force that she needs. With Asuka and Rei it's similar, with Asuka's hatred of Rei's passivity now being being a drive to push Rei to experience and enjoy life and establish an identity, while Rei's gentle observation and lack of a filter would be give Asuka a much-needed source of self-reflection. And with Shinji and Rei, we've already seen how Shinji's kindness has encouraged Rei to step outside of her sheltered world and seek human connection, while also providing Shinji someone he felt was worth stepping up and fighting for.

Now, take all three of those dynamics and combine them together. You've basically got the perfect Id, Ego, and Superego situation. It's practically the adolescent Kirk, Spock, and McCoy dynamic!

Plus, there's also the other factors that would bring them together, even beyond the whole being hormonal teenagers in a stressful situation. Despite having wildly different personalities, they all had their lives destroyed by NERV, from Shinji losing his mother and being neglected by his father, to Asuka's mother losing her mind and taking her life thanks to the Evangelions, to Rei literally being created by Gendo to serve a terrible purpose and thus being robbed of ever having a life. That sort of "in the trenches" experience is exactly the sort of thing that would cause them to form bonds and seek comfort with one another, especially if they were all to learn of each other's past histories, and motivate them to stand up for one another against NERV's machinations, but ah, I'm delving into AU fanfic territory.

Point is, no, I don't think it would be wise for these three to seek out romance with one another, either as couples or all three of them together. But man, if they each just had just a little bit changed about them, can you imagine the pure emotional catharsis?

Note: I didn't really say anything about Kaworu because while I feel that he's probably the healthiest singular choice for Shinji, it's basically only with Shinji, making him his own separate deal entirely.

#neon genesis evangelion #nge #shinji ikari #rei ayanami #asuka langley soryu #asushin #asurei #reishin #asureishin #israfel special #poly shipping

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

Miami Vice S1E18: Made for Each Other

Larry's house burns down, and Izzy and Noogie are sent undercover.

Made for Each Other suffers immensely from coming right after The Maze, which is a true "the system is broken" classic Vice episode. Made for Each Other is a comedy breather, and actually kind of great in its own right, but where it sits in the progression of the series feels more like a deflation than a break.

Made for Each Other is also almost comically homoerotic-- it's the episode that convinced me that Sonny is supposed to be a textually closeted bisexual man on my first watch through of the series, but on a repeat watch it's somehow even more obvious. Why are there all those half-naked bears on a boat? Why is the entire plot basically "Stan and Larry sort of have a breakup because of Stan's new girlfriend and then get back together at the end?" Why does Izzy keep saying things like nubile and anal? Why does the camera linger so very long on his and Noogie's cigarillos touching? What's up with the repetition of 'shafted'? Why are all the guests at Noogie's wedding like, extras from a Boy George video?

Why does this happen?

(plz draw your OT3 like this)

Anyway I actually really like Made For Each Other upon rewatch, it really just should have been placed elsewhere in the season. It's a fun, silly episode, and a little levity is necessary in a series that is often so very bleak.

The episode opens with Sonny and Rico trying to catch a counterfeiter, and Rico is bitchy and condescending to Sonny in a way that I think is supposed to be "ha ha, my criminal persona is a dick," but actually just comes off as "ha ha, I am a dick." It seems like he's trying to impress the counterfeiter by throwing Sonny under the bus. This occasional cruelty towards someone he does genuinely like is a fascinating part of Rico's characterization, and part of what elevates his character writing to "actual nuanced person" and not "nice Black sidekick who always supports the main white guy." Rico absolutely sees himself as more educated and worldly than Sonny, and occasionally he lets that slip. He has a very complicated relationship to both class and geography-- he's a New Yorker (...from the Bronx), he wears a perfectly tailored suit everyday (...and is a poorly paid cop), he idolizes Sonny for his football career but also thinks he's a bit of a yokel. As someone whose own class status is a bit shaky, Rico tends to get a little mean when it seems like he might be 'found out.'

Zito almost gets blown up in the ensuing warehouse fire, and Switek flips out. A short while later, a surprisingly chill Zito says he believes things are "either in whack or out of whack," shortly after while they discover that his entire house is on fire.

Please note the company that moves Zito's stuff to Switek's house:

I am dying

Trudy and Gina, in their only real appearance in the episode, very sweetly present Zito with a new fish as an office gift. Sonny is a dick about it.

Swi and Zito go to investigate BONZO BARRY who is a shady stereo and computer system dealer who has a FUCKING SEAL in his store

Michael Talbott is wildly overacting this entire episode, like to the point that I wonder if they had to turn down his mic

Noogie is marrying a stripper(?) named Ample Annie. They argue about going to Disneyland while she's practicing her routine. She does a striptease down the aisle. She is perhaps the only person bonkers enough to keep up with Noogie.

Stan's girlfriend, Darlene (who was Larry's girlfriend a short period of time ago), is extremely unhappy with Larry staying at their house, and spends the entire episode either complaining or being upset that the conditions are not right to bone; frankly, Stan does not seem to like her and she does not seem to like Stan. The most likely reasoning behind this is "bad 80's hurr hurr the ol' ball and chain" comedy, but considering the homoeroticism of the episode I'd like to think it could be a comment on compulsory heterosexuality

Izzy and Noogie show up at Stan's and, in one ridiculous whirlwind, declare the current case "theirs," ask who is the "Captain Kirk of this Enterprise," and start eating Stan's breakfast

In one scene Tubbs asks Zito and Swi if they want backup and they both very loudly yell NO like he's the reason everything has been on fire in this episode

Switek asks Zito at one point, "do you ever think about the future, Larry?" and Zito answers No.

This is funny the first time you watch the episode!

This is not funny anymore after Season 3.

The bad guy (whose crime seems to be like. Selling stolen stereos or something equally stupid) has a boat full of half-naked men with guns. This is not remarked upon.

Then we get to the Night Talk scene. I've talked at length about this scene before, but basically: Zito has been kicked out of Switek's and is sleeping at the station; Sonny comes in, romantic music plays, Zito basically describes Switek as the perfect man, and Sonny tries to get Zito to come back to his place (and fails.) It's very gay. I like to think that Sonny has a burgeoning crush on Rico at this point but is certain Rico is straight (and also. Y'know. Was a bit of an asshole at the beginning of the episode.) and takes desperate, tragic shot on Zito because of that. Zito politely declines because his heart is already spoken for.

Meanwhile, Stan is unable to perform sexually because he's thinking about Larry.

I'm sure that means nothing.

The outfits at Noogie's wedding are just. They are. Truly they are something.

The priest is a leather daddy. Many people appear to be in space blankets, including Noogie. Annie has a tearaway wedding dress. The pianist has the world's most incredible zebra shirt. There are headbands and weird hats abound.

By contrast, all the members of Vice look like they're supposed to be at a PTA meeting. (Also Sonny looks like he wishes he could ask where the punch is but doesn't want to bother Gina and Trudy, who are clearly each others' plus-ones.)

And the episode ends with Switek and Zito, side by side, at a wedding.

#miami vice #miami vice s1 #s1e19 #made for each other #larry zito #stan switek #izzy moreno #noogie lamont #sonny crockett #my gifs

[dapg-otmebytheballs]

SAY THE PARASOCIAL THING SAY IT

Aksjfhk okay

This got super long but basically I was thinking about that post about Phil being more open in his boundaries and I think he actually always has been! More under the cut

I think Phil has actually always been more self-assured in his interactions with the audience and I have some idea(?) of why that is. Phil has been around forever on YouTube, he is kind of a performer in a very classical way. You can see this in like how he carries himself in his liveshows, using very basic tenets of performance that we're taught like face the audience always and fill up any lulls in the conversation. There is always a screen between the creator and the audience, of course there is. But the culture we see now of internet celebrities and their audiences having very little boundaries because of how accessible creators have become to audiences wasn't as prominent back then. You understood as a creator that your audience will make whatever they want of what you're saying and you can't account for any bad faith readers. Phil always came across to me as someone who knew how much he wanted to put out there and was self assured in it. He doesn't feel the need to clarify stuff, and likewise engages with fandom in a similar good faith. What goes on in his life and what informs his thoughts, beyond what he shares, is none of our business, that was an understood thing and he's left it at that. And what fandom talks about, how we interpret stuff, how we do our parasocial shit is also not meant to be more than a performance, it isn't supposed to Say Something Serious about the creators, which is also understood. And though of course audience interactions started getting wildly out of hand some years after Phil started posting, he still is a product of a time where that wasn't how things are meant to be and he maintains that distance with ease. Thinking about stuff like draw Phil naked where he engaged with it in good humour, or how he didn't mind having sponsorships and clickbait titles because there's an implicit understanding that this is All A Performance so he doesn't have to try and "act authentic". There's a confidence he has in his role as an entertainer, and that informs how he interacts with us. (also I had expressed this all much better earlier but Tumblr ate it up so now I have to type it again sorry if this reads weird ;-;)

On the other hand, Dan seems to worry about all that stuff a Lot More. (And I was apprehensive about saying this so I thank anon here for allowing me to say my parasocial shit XD) And the thing is, the reason I notice that is Because I am literally like Dan about that stuff when interacting with an audience (I did some videos as well yeah, but also when I've organised events that I had to host, or presented poetry somewhere, etc etc) where I constantly feel the need to qualify everything I say and do very worried I'll come off as being maliciously bad, or even perceived as being a certain way or having a certain tone when I don't. I find it in rather positive ways with Dan too (like correcting language in old videos or pulling them off when there's something in there that aged badly or could be seen in bad taste). But other times I see reflected in him my own tendency to overcompensate (self referencing how he is making Easy-Content a la 'some shit a youtuber would do', making sure he doesn't come across as having the wrong political opinions by stressing on his principles when something like that comes up 'don't settle for neoliberalism' ((also he is totally correct and I actually do love those clarifications just fyi)) )

You can see this play out so well that time when Phil accidentally says 'cockies' instead of 'cookies' and Dan makes a 'cut that out' motion and Phil just laughs about it and corrects himself and Dan goes "Are you keeping that in??"

There's probably a lot of factors to why they have those particular styles of interacting, and really there's merit to both. Phil knows where the boundaries are and ever since him just speaking random shit hasn't had the extra issue of possibly outing Dan before he's ready, Phil has just gotten even more open with how he speaks, but I truly think he doesn't care as much what we think about him. It's like, what's going on in his life is none of our business and what we're making out of our parasocial relationship with him is none of his business, which is a great way of approaching being a creator and unfortunately something that is becoming less and less of an option as the culture shifts completely with generations that have been within this internet creator culture since they were born.

Dan having entered the scene later on when this kind of culture had started (plus of course his own issues that did Not help the situation) means that it made sense for him to approach us with that bit of hesitancy and that he continues to do so. I know I have that hesitancy about how I word things because I've also seen people be taken out of context and treated in really bad faith and that is a completely understandable thing to take into consideration.

But yeah Phil being the "quiet one" has never really meant that he is less certain/more shy to me, personally, I think he is an incredibly professional entertainer is the thing and I love love love that about him because he's of a dying species in the current climate.

#asks #parasocial time #dnp #dan and phil

[phdmama]

For the trope mash-up post, may I request Fake Dating and Soulmate AU for Drarry please, if it sparks any fun inspiration?

(P.S. you're wonderful and I will love literally anything you come up with, even if it's not for these prompts, I just got super excited when you posted this 💜)

No, YOU'RE wonderful!!

So this is what came to me - and I can actually see the rest of the story but I have to go adult for a bit, but I am going to come back later and write some more of this! (As per usual, this is pretty much SOOC and unbeta'd, etc etc.)

Draco’s known since the Final Battle. 

He’s pretty sure Potter has no idea, whether it’s that no one’s remembered to tell him about soulmates, or that his mark hasn’t activated yet, but he treats Draco exactly the way he’s treated him since they'd all arrived at University. He’s unfailingly polite, cool and distanced, and deeply disinterested in one Draco Malfoy.

Which isn’t, you know, how you’re supposed to treat your soulmate.

The thumbprint on Draco’s wrist had flared to life when Potter had grabbed his arm to haul him onto the back of the battered broom that carried them both out of the fire. He’d almost fallen off at the way Potter’s magic had rushed over him, through him. Draco had always heard the stories that connecting with your soulmate could be disorienting, but since it happened to him in the midst of mortal terror, Draco’s not sure his experience was typical.

It’s also very rare that one person connects and the other doesn’t, although it does happen. It takes time for the bond to solidify, to grow into a true soulmate connection, and obviously, that’s not happened here. Basically, Potter is a faint echo in Draco’s mind, enough to distract and ache a little, nothing more than that.

All this to say, it’s weird when Potter comes dashing into their suite common room one Saturday afternoon, looking wild-eyed and somewhat disheveled. It’s a rainy day, raw and windy, the kind of day where Draco does not plan to leave the building if he can help it. Potter is damp and windblown, so he clearly had other ideas. Fucking weirdo.

Potter looks around wildly, and lights up when he spots Draco curled up on the couch under his favorite striped blanket.

“Malfoy,” he says eagerly, and Draco blinks up at him in surprise.

Potter’s never sounded happy to see Draco before.

“Yes?” Draco says cautiously. “Can I help you?”

Potter nods vigorously. “You can, yes, absolutely. I need you to pretend to be my soulmate and go to the gala with me tonight.”

“I beg your pardon?” Draco asks, trying to make sense of the words he’s just heard. “You need me to what?”

Potter hangs his coat on the rack by the door, kicks off his grubby trainers and makes his way around the couch to plop down next to Draco.

“I need you to pretend to be my soulmate and go to the gala with me tonight.”

“That’s what I thought you said,” Draco says. “But also, what the fuck are you talking about?”

Potter sighs, lets his head rest on the back of the couch and runs a hand through his unruly hair.

“You know how the press…” his voice trails off and he flushes.

“Follows you around incessantly and makes your life a living hell?” Draco says dryly. “Yes, Potter, I’m aware.”

“Well, someone thought it was a good idea to advertise that I haven’t found my soulmate, and to suggest that anyone who’s unbonded should come to the gala tonight and you know. Shoot their shot or whatever.”

Draco sits bolt upright, outraged. “What the hell? That’s bullshit. That’s not even how it works!”

Potter just sighs again and slumps down even further, eyes closed. “Yeah, I know that, but it’s turned into this whole thing, and every girl in the greater Oxford area, apparently, is now coming to the gala.”

“Can’t you just… not go?” 

Potter shakes his head, looking miserable. “No. The Fund is really important to me. I promised to speak.”

“So your solution is to fake a soulmate bond with a man?” Draco asks and Potter snorts.

“Okay, well, when you put it like that, it does sound stupid. I just thought if I could get them all off my back for a bit… No, you’re right. I’ll just have to get a bodyguard again, I guess.”  

He sounds so utterly miserable that Draco can’t help but feel sorry for him, which is why he finds himself saying, “Yeah, I’ll do it.”

Potter opens his eyes to stare at Draco. “What?”

Draco shrugs. “I’m not doing anything tonight, there’ll be wine at the gala, yeah?”

Potter looks excited but then his face falls. “But what about your soulmate? What if they’re out there looking for you?”

Draco looks away and swallows. “That won’t be a problem.”

Potter’s eyes narrow. “Why not?” He sucks in a breath and whispers, “Malfoy, do you know who your soulmate is?”

Draco just nods and there’s a long silence while Potter clearly puts some picture together in his head. He’s never been stupid, Draco concedes. Since for all intents and purposes, Draco is unbonded, Potter must know there’s something wrong with all of it.

Finally Potter says, “If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” Draco says and finally turns to look at Potter. “It’ll be fun,” he says carelessly. “What should I wear?”

#my writing #trope mashup #Drarry vignette #fic beginning #I ask that you check in with me before finishing any of my vignettes #THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING

[nikethestatue]

A Match Baked in Heaven

Chapter 4 Here

Part V

My Girl

Nuala W. Raith.

27 years old. A cyber security senior analyst at the New Scotland Yard. Graduated from the London School of Economics. First job was with Accenture, but was quickly recruited by the government due to her phenomenal computer skills. Fairly successful modelling career in her teens and early twenties. Longest relationship was with a Canadian hockey player. Their engagement broke up when he was photographed with a scantily-clad stripper whose head was buried in his crotch. 

Hobbies: gaming, football, rugby, cooking, live concerts

Competitive swimmer throughout her uni studies

Elain printed out the profile and placed the page in her bag. She slid her IPad into it as well and then went on to put on her coat. 

She just received a message on her phone stating ‘come out, matchmaker!’ That was exactly what she expected from her wild and untamed client.

Piglet was freaking out at the door, snorting and grunting and giving a few pathetic little barks, while he clawed at the door, impatient to leave.

“Will you calm down?” Elain muttered, and opened the door for him and he sprinted out like his arse was on fire.

There was a Bentley idling at the curb and the moment Piglet rushed out, the car door opened and Azriel Night stepped out.

Elain Archeron paused in the doorway, watching her client and marvelling at his ungodly handsomeness. Unlike his usual uniform of jeans, boots and some kind of basic shirt, today, he was wearing a dark suit, which hugged his tall, slender, muscular form to ridiculous perfection. The white shirt that was open to the chest didn’t hurt either. The dark tattoos that snaked from under his shirt and spilled over his neck and his hands made him look dangerous and desirable. It was the dichotomy of his whole being in a handsome dark package–he was a combination of dangerous and damaged, aggressive and gentle, thoughtful and mannerless, inelegant and stylish.

Suddenly, he squatted right on the sidewalk, and opened his arms wide, while Piglet leapt at him, nuzzling at him wildly, and Azriel hugged him and stroked him. 

“I missed you too, my little matey. How are you doing?”

Piglet stood on his one hind leg and placed his paws on Azriel’s shoulders, going in for a full body hug.

“How’s our girl? Is she wearing purple today, since you are rockin’ your purple tie?”

Azriel already knew the drill–outside, Piglet wore coats, ties or scarves. Today, he had on a Burberry jacket and a purple scarf that matched his coat. At home or inside, he wore his stylish bows.

At that moment, Elain stepped out of the house, and Azriel looked up and whistled loudly.

“No...she is wearing a trench coat…nice touch. I hope there is nothing underneath it…”

“Mr. Night!” Elain snapped at him, blushing profusely. “You are being scandalous and utterly inappropriate!”

He laughed, watching her, as he stroked Piglet’s back.

Elain seemed to look rather sensible, in her camel knee-length trench, a large leather tote over her shoulder, and sexy brown leather booties, but somehow, she made it all look incredibly elegant, and dare he say, sexy. Elain never went for ‘sexy’, but somehow, she made all her pristine, somewhat old-fashioned outfits look alluring. The fact that she was wearing subtle, nude fishnets didn’t hurt either. Azriel always found himself intrigued by what she was going to wear, and so far, he distinctly recalled each and every one of her ensembles. Now, he was actively pondering if the fishnets were stockings? 

“She is mad at me already! I think it’s our record time,” he whisper-shouted to the dog. “Is it my fault,” he addressed her, “that trench coats look good on sexy women and make me wish that there was nothing beneath them. It’s every man’s fantasy, you know.”

“I am not here to fulfil your fantasy,” she cut him off. “I am simply wearing a coat.”

“Mmmm.” 

He waited for her to come down the stairs and then extended his hand to her. She shook it reluctantly and he smiled brightly at her, his expression teasing.

“Did you watch the game?” he asked immediately.

“Hello to you too,” she said, while Azriel opened the car door for her and Pinky leapt in eagerly, ready for a new adventure.

“Well, hello then Ms. Archeron,” Azriel murmured, leaning so close to her that his nose almost skimmed her cheek. ”Allow me to help you inside.”

She frowned at him, as she slid inside the car, and Azriel followed her right after. 

“Good afternoon, Miss,” the driver greeted her.

She greeted him back and then looked at Azriel, a bemused expression on her face.

“Where is Mr. Night? What did you do with him? And who are you?”

He laughed, throwing his head back and she looked at his thick throat, swallowing audibly.

“I mean, a car, you are being almost polite, dressed in a suit…that’s not the Mr. Night that I know. Usually he curses, argues and taunts me relentlessly.”

“Aw, Ms, Archeron,” he ran his index finger over her long lock. “Day is still young. There is time for all that.”

“Oh, phew,” she pretended to wipe her brow. “I was getting worried.”

“You shouldn’t. The arsehole is still here and happily present. So, back to my previous question?”

“Which is?”

“Are you wearing anything under the trench?” he teased and she seethed at him as usual, crossing her arms on her chest and glowering at him. 

He raised his hands in mock surrender and said, “Okay, okay. I’ll behave. But…are you?” he whispered quickly.

“One more word, and I am leaving,” she warned.

“Dev, drive fast,” Azriel ordered and the driver smiled, as he sped down the road. 

Meanwhile, Pinkly crawled over Elain and landed on Azriel’s lap, totally disregarding Elain’s displeased hiss. Azriel chuckled, while Pinky pressed his flat face against the window. 

Elain reached into her bag and took out a pretty box with a scowl on her face. She pushed the box into Azriel’s lap without saying a word and then turned to the opposite window.

“What’s that?” he pondered.

“For you,” was all she answered. 

Curious, very, very curious, he opened the box, while Pinky tore his attention away from the window and was now panting with anticipation.

“Is that for me?” Azriel gasped, but it was genuine surprise, and not mockery. Surprise and utter delight.

The box was filled with biscuits of all kinds. Homemade.

“I said it was for you,” she shrugged like she didn’t care.

“You baked? For me?” he whispered in disbelief.

“Well, not just for you,” she argued quickly. “We had Sunday lunch at my sister Feyre’s. She served some very dodgy salmon,”

“How dodgy?” he smirked.

“Dodgy enough that we mostly ate mash and these biscuits that I brought. I had baked entirely too many. So,”

“I am getting the overflow. Thanks, pretty matchmaker!” she elbowed her gently. “I can’t believe you thought of me and made me a box!”

“Well, these are lemon,” she began pointing at different varieties of biscuits in the box. “These are almond horns. Those are orange and hazelnut,”

“Oh my god,” he marvelled in appreciation.

“Chocolate and coffee nibs. And plain shortbread.”

He looked at her. Really looked at her. Her old-fashioned, picturesque beauty, the enormous eyes, the beautiful hair, and for once, he saw someone special. Someone who didn’t fit any moulds that he was familiar with, and once again, he was at a loss. He didn’t know what to make of her.

“Elain…” he said softly, and then immediately corrected himself, “Ms. Archeron. This might be the most thoughtful and kind thing anyone’s ever done for me. I thank you. Truly.”

“You are welcome. It’s not a big thing, but you seemed to enjoy them.”

“More than you think. You baked for me. Made something with your hands…That means a lot.”

“Well, enjoy it,” Elain said gently, while Pinky was growling with impatience.

“Can I give him one?” 

“Just the plain shortbread,” Elain allowed, and Azriel fed one of the biscuits to the overexcited dog, who chomped on it noisily and messily. “He is perpetually hungry and if he could, he’d eat the whole box. He climbed onto the chair and then somehow got on top of the table and ate a whole bowl of raspberries. That was yesterday. A couple of days before, he somehow snuck into the open drawer of the refrigerator, stole a bag of sausages, ate them all, and promptly got diarrhoea…So there is that.”

Azriel was laughing silently, his whole body shaking. 

“Oh no. Why did he get the shits?”

“Because he ate like 7 or 8 sausages. He is a smallish dog. It would be the equivalent of me eating maybe 15-20 sausages. I’d get diarrhoea too!”

“Valid. What else?”

“He ate three bananas, peel and all, again by way of stealing. Then, when I wasn’t looking, he grabbed half of my cheese and onion sandwich, and ate all of that too.”

“What about the dodgy salmon?”

“Even he wouldn’t eat that!” Elain laughed. “He did eat a good heap of mash and gravy, a bread roll with butter, then proceeded to steal my sister Nesta’s steamed tofu,”

“Jesus Christ,” Azriel gasped in horror.

“Immediately spat it out,”

“Not blaming him at all. I’d spit it out too!”

“And then went to my father and cried fake pug tears to him because he was so upset that he stole and ate the wrong thing. Of course my father then had to feed him cheese and ham. As compensation of some kind. Emotional distress I am assuming?”

“My god I love him!” Azriel groaned. “I might have to steal him from you.”

“Well, then you’ll die,” she warned placidly. Azriel was laughing loudly now, considering her nonchalant tone. When he finally came to, he prodded,

“So?”

“I watched the game,” she confirmed. “You did well–one goal and two assists.”

“What about Pink?”

“Piglet watched it too. Now I can show him reruns of football games–he seems to enjoy watching things run.”

“And I am a thing that runs?” Azriel chuckled.

“You certainly are. You have incredible stamina,”

His mouth quirked and he crooned, “You have no idea…”

Elain gawked at him, and then realised what she had said, and rolled her eyes.

“You do remember, Mr. Night that I am not the one who is auditioning to be your potential wife?” She reminded him primly. “I am not the match. I am the matchmaker.”

“How can I forget? Unless you finally change your mind and just go for it,” he proposed. “You already know what you’d be signing up for with me. I have a pretty good idea about you as well. I don’t know why you are fighting this so hard?”

“Yes. I wonder why indeed.”

They were driving through the city and Piglet was panting with enjoyment, looking out the window.

Azriel gently rubbed the dog’s furry neck, relaxed against the back seat, manspreading widely. Elain threw inquisitive glances when she thought he wasn’t watching, and they mostly landed below his waist. As was his usual manner, Azriel let her look as much as she wanted. The car was big enough–even with his height and spread, there was plenty of space. So it was her choice to look, and it would be rude of him not to let her.

“I don’t want you to get so close to him,” Elain said suddenly.

Azriel looked at her quizzically.

“Piglet,” she clarified. “He is getting attached to you. He waits for you at the door,”

At that Azriel smiled, but Elain continued, 

“He thinks of you as a friend.”

“I am his friend,”

“But this is all temporary. You understand that, don’t you? Once you are matched with the right person, our relationship will end. And I don’t want Piglet to think that you’ll be around, coming to play with him or be present in his and my life,”

Azriel chewed the inside of his cheek for a long while, thinking about what she said.

“It doesn’t have to end,” he said at last.

Please don’t.

Don’t end it. 

“You are a client, Mr. Night,” Elain added, “I can’t imagine you’d have time for me once you are getting to know your future wife and getting married.”

“That’s it then?”

“Couple of months, maybe three, at most,” she confirmed. “That’s how long most of my associations with my clients last. One lasted a year, but that’s highly unusual. Besides, you are under a time constraint. I imagine that by January, we will be done.”

“I am sorry, but I disagree, Ms. Archeron,” Azriel said firmly. “Perhaps this is how things have gone before, but I cannot accept it. Let’s come up with a new agreement then…a new plan,”

“What sort of plan?”

“Something that would allow us to keep in touch beyond this initial agreement,”

“Like what?”

He shrugged, scrubbing his hand over his chin.

“Teach me manners?” he proposed. “Proper manners. Like a gentleman.”

Elain laughed, “I am not a miracle worker, Mr. Night. I am not sure I have the capability to do something like that.”

“You aren’t giving yourself enough credit. But for now, why don’t we just leave things as status quo. Three-four months is a long time. Lots of things could happen in that timeframe. Meanwhile, I’d like to keep meeting with you and Pinky.”

“Yes, I suppose,” she agreed, somewhat reluctantly.

“Do you not like me, Ms. Archeron?” he queried, no hesitation in his question.

“No, I wouldn’t say that,” she admitted. “But you are an usual client for me, and I struggle with reigning you in,”

“Perhaps you shouldn't try? And just let things be as they are?” he suggested. “Maybe I am not meant to be reigned in?”

“It’s beginning to look like that,” Elain sighed. “Now, where are we going? Why couldn’t we meet at my office?”

“Where is your sense of adventure?” he smiled. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Hmmm…Very, very marginally.”

“Aw, you wound me, Ms. Archeron! But I will take you to a place you’ll undoubtedly enjoy.”

Elain looked outside the window and suddenly felt Azriel’s large, heavy palm cover her hand. He was silent, but he threaded their fingers together and held her hand firmly in his.

She turned her head and breathed, ‘Mr. Night’.

He looked straight at her, his face emotionless as usual, but said just as softly ‘Ms. Archeron’. He almost dared her to say something, or tug her hand away from his, but he wouldn’t allow it, and just kept her in place. To her credit, she didn’t attempt to either.

Piglet turned his head and looked at them, assessing the hand-holding. Then, bouncing with a surplus of excitement, he jumped on Azriel, bucking and shimmying wildly, before rolling onto Elain’s lap, waiting for a belly scratch, and then slithering back on Azriel.

“See, he is on our side,” Azriel chuckled, scratching the supple rolls of fat on the pug. “He is team Elriel.”

“Team what?”

“Elriel,” 

“I don’t know what that means.”

“El–for Elain, and Riel for Azriel. Duh? Do I have to teach you everything?!”

“Where do you even come up with this nonsense?” she looked at him, perplexed.

“Elriel is not nonsense, Ms. Archeron. It’s our ship name. Pinky is the first shipper.”

“My god. You’ve read too many romance novels, Mr. Night.”

“Yeah, well, it gets boring on the road,” he shrugged. “So I read.”

“Romance novels?”

“Fantasy. Dark romance. Romantasy. Whatever.”

“Romantasy?”

“Are you judging me?”

“No, no. Not at all,” she shook her head, stifling a laugh.

They crossed the river, and Elain looked around, trying to figure out where they were going.

At last, she exclaimed, “Borough Market?”

“Nope,” he popped his lips.

“Where then?!” she whined.

“Patience.”

“I want the apple crisp!” she begged.

“You always seem to want some kind of apple crisp,” he teased. 

“It’s my favourite. This one has bruleed custard on top. It’s so goooddd,” she moaned.

“Maybe next time,” he promised, smiling to himself.

The appreciation that he had for Elain’s unabashed love for food and eating was hard to describe. All the other women he ever went out with insisted on salads, pretended like they weren’t hungry, opted for tofu and seaweed, and in general, avoided eating as much as possible. Elain was about tea, and custard, and cake, and hearty stews.

“We are here,” he said at last. The car parked and he went to open the door. Pinky hopped out first, and then Elain climbed out and threw her head back.

“We are going to the Shard?” she asked.

“We are!” He curled his arm offering it to her and she took it. 

Elain seemed surprised, but she followed him nevertheless, while Pinky stepped in front of them with his usual self importance, like he knew where he was going. Azriel could only dream of having this dog’s confidence!

The three of them took the lift up to Shangri-La hotel and were immediately greeted by an obsequious female hostess, who looked at Azriel like he was a dick-on-a-stick.

“Mr. Night, please follow me,” she flitted about, swaying her hips, as she paid no attention to Elain, and ushered them to a table in front of the windows, which overlooked the stunning vistas of London. It felt as if they sat right on top of Tower Bridge. Piglet plastered his face against the window, snorting with amazement. Whatever he was seeing, he was very impressed. 

“He is a support animal. We have all the documentation,” Azriel told the hostess, but she waved her hand at him.

“Of course, Mr. Night. That wouldn’t be a problem.”

“He is very well-behaved,” Azriel assured her, while observing Elain’s pinched little face. She wasn’t liking what was happening here.

Finally, the woman left, and Elain muttered, “Why even ask me for help? You have a ready-to-go wife right here. Wives on tap, I am sure.”

Azriel laughed at her.

“If I didn’t know you better, I would’ve thought that you were jealous, Ms. Archeron.”

“Jealous? Hardly,” she scoffed. 

“Phew, I was beginning to worry that you were developing feelings for me and my company,” he snickered. “Allow me,” he offered to take her trench–something the hostess should’ve done, but apparently, she was too star struck.

Elain unbelted and shrugged the coat off and Azriel looked her over with interest that he wasn’t even trying to hide. 

“Blimey,” he exhaled. 

Elain wore a form-fitting nude jumper and a knee-length skirt with brown and purple abstract pattern. Frankly, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the round pair of glorious tits that the jumper did all kinds of favours for. He even liked the one strand of fat pearls around her neck. 

“None. Don’t worry. But,” she looked around, “this is nice. Thank you, Mr. Night. I appreciate the thought. Imagine–I’ve never been here before. It’s been on the list of places to go, but we never could make it. So, thank you! I’ve just checked an item off my bucket list.”

“The pleasure is mine, Ms. Archeron,” he included his head. “Care to share what else is on your bucket list?”

“No,” she told him immediately, as she pulled out her IPad from her bag. “We are here to talk about you.”

He held the chair for her and she sat down.

“And here I thought that this Pink Afternoon Tea will thaw you a bit! Champagne at least?”

“I’ll have a glass,” she agreed graciously.

“You are not pregnant or anything like that, right?” he goaded her. 

She rolled her eyes and told him, “Not that I am not aware of.”

“So. There is someone in your life to get pregnant by?” he pressed.

“I’ll be asking you a series of questions,” Elain said, ignoring him and his probing. “Please answer truthfully. I am building your profile. There are no right or wrong answers.”

“May I tell you something meanwhile?”

“Sure.”

“You look sexy as fuck, matchmaker. It’s dangerous.”

She sucked in her breath and nervously picked at her pearls.

“Mr. Night…”

“Ms. Archeron. I see what I see.”

At that moment, their champagne was delivered, followed by waiters with the tea service. Elain exhaled a relieved breath. 

It looked spectacular–Reuben sandwiches, Truffle Egg and Cress, Smoked Salmon, Coronation Chicken–all done in various shades of pink. There were chicken liver parfaits, and tiny burgers. Pink scones, clotted cream and strawberry jam. And a variety of little architecturally-impressive pastries–a layer cake with pistachios and cherries, raspberry plum cake, something called shang mont rose, and the Pink Sphere. 

The Pink Afternoon Tea at the Shard (Shangri-La Hotel, London)

They even brought a bowl of water and a bowl of whipped cream for Piglet. 

“It’s beautiful. Almost too beautiful to eat,” Elain commented, inspecting all the offering.

“Almost,” Azriel raised his champagne flute. “But not quite. To us, Ms. Archeron. To our tenuous friendship. Maybe it will grow into something more.”

Elain glanced at him and whispered, “maybe,” before sipping her champagne.

“I won’t be able to train properly after all this,” Azriel commented, as he bit into one of the sandwiches, “but you only live once, yeah?”

“Your first concert?” Elain asked, looking down at her IPad.

Piglet already polished all the cream off, and was now snoring softly under the table. 

Azriel thought for a second, and said,

“Eminem. I was fourteen. Cass and I snuck out and slept outside all night, but we got in. It was incredible.”

She smiled and whispered, “that must have been amazing…”

“It really was.”

“Favourite movie?”

“Fight Club.”

“Favourite singer or band?”

“Led Zeppelin.”

“I could’ve guessed. You seem like the type.”

“Oh, and what type is that?”

“Old-fashioned, but rebellious.”

“What about you? Tay Tay? Adele?”

Elain wrinkled her nose.

“If we are talking singers, then it’s Amy Winehouse,” she said. “Band–it’s always the Rolling Stones.”

“Ahhh…well, that’s to be expected.”

“Why?”

“You like the classics.”

“Look at us, figuring each other out.” Her tone was vaguely sarcastic. Then she asked the next question, “First celebrity crush?”

Azriel took a while to think about that one, sipping his tea, and finishing up his little burger.

“Brad Pitt.”

“Oh?” Elain smiled. “Really?”

“He is a beautiful man. What can I say? In ‘Troy’ I think.”

“First thing you do when you wake up?”

“Think about football,” he told her instantly. “I am dedicated to my game, my team, my city. I work hard for what I do.”

“What was your dream job when you were young?”

“I didn’t think I’d have one at all,” he told her honestly. Elain didn’t know how to follow up on that statement. “Thought I’d be in a gang, or something. Maybe in prison. Maybe dead,”

“That’s…very grim,” she frowned.

“That’s the reality of those lads who I grew up with. My reality. I just happen to run well with a ball.”

“How do you think others view you?”

“They either like me or hate me. I am good looking, so some respond to that. Others cannot abide my character. I don’t care, to be honest. I only care about the opinions of very few people.”

“Who?” she asked quickly, though he suspected that it wasn’t part of the questionnaire.

“Cassian, I suppose. Rhys. My team. Coach. You.”

“Me?”

“Yes.”

Elain hid her face behind her cup, aimlessly picking at her sandwich, but Azriel watched her closely. 

“You can’t ask questions like these and not expect uncomfortable answers,” he reminded her simply.

“Why me though?”

“For a posh, prissy bird, you are surprisingly accepting. I suppose I appreciate that, so I don’t want you to think of me…badly.”

“I don’t, you know.”

“I do. And that’s what’s so surprising. You are a nice sort of person.”

Elain adjusted her hair, trying to make herself comfortable, and asked,

“What do you not tolerate?”

“Disloyalty. Random cruelty.”

Her eyes fell on his scarred hands, while he spread some jam on his scone and popped it in his mouth. Despite the scars, his hands were attractive. Big and strong and sure.

“Where do you want to live?”

“London. It’s home. It understands me.”

“Biggest fear?”

He didn’t say anything for a while.

“I’ll tell you,” he drummed his fingers on the table, “but we say it together. You say yours, and I’ll say mine.”

“Mr. Night,” she began, but he interrupted her.

“No, Ms. Archeron. This is the way we do it. If you don’t like it, move on to the next questions.”

Elain sighed and murmured ‘fine’.

“On three then…One, two, three.”

Loneliness.

Both of them blurted the same word at the same time.

Loneliness. 

Elain stared at him. A little shocked. Azriel only chuckled. 

“Well then…”

He smiled again. 

“I might need more Champagne.”

“I'll ask lighter questions,” she promised quickly, not commenting on their shared fear.

“Please do, before I get black out drunk at Afternoon Tea at the Shard. Do they have whiskey here?”

“Mr. Night, you aren’t drinking whiskey!”

“Not yet. But I might soon. Are you eating your burger?”

“No. You can have it.”

She typed something in her notebook and he meanwhile ate her mini burger in two bites.

“Do you wear pyjamas to bed?” came the next question, and Azriel huffed at it.

“No. I sleep completely naked.”

She cleared her throat and went on,

“Boxers or briefs?”

Azriel grinned and leaned back in his chair, as was his manner when he got comfortable and amused. 

“Well, well…Boxer briefs, Ms. Archeron,” he answered with a wink. “I normally like everything to be tucked in there, and not flop in the wind.”

Elain snorted a laugh.

“You see,” he continued. “The Lord hath endowed me well in that region. There is much to hold in place. It’s like wrestling a python into my poor drawers every morning…”

“Oh, how tragic. It must be very difficult for you,” she mocked.

But Azriel didn’t miss the lovely blush that spread on her cheeks. 

“It is a struggle, but one that I accepted humbly. Wouldn’t be surprised if they could see it all the way in America. Makes our American cousins all kinds of edgy seeing a British cock in all its glory.”

“Oh my god,”

Leaning towards her, he whispered conspiratorially, “don’t tell Cassian. He gets a bit…competitive.”

“Your secret is safe with me,” Elain promised.

“Hardly a secret. Anything else you’d like to know, matchmaker? Or see?”

“The most significant of your tattoos?” she hopped over his proposition just like that.

He rubbed his chest, and said, “A Churchill quote: It is the time to dare and endure.”

“Is that something that helps you?”

“Something to keep me grounded when things get tough. I also have this one,” he pointed to his forearm. “Arsenal crest. And a Union Jack on my shoulder.”

The next question was Azriel’s favourite. Elain asked,

“Maradona or Pele?”

“Diego Armando Maradona,” he said at once.

“Do you believe in god?”

“No.”

“Can you change a tyre?”

“Yes.”

“The first thing you look at in a woman?”

“Her gaze. Her look.”

“Have you ever been in love?” she asked quickly, without raising her eyes from the tablet.

“No. Never. Have you?” he asked quickly.

“This isn’t about me,”

“Answer the question,” he ordered.

“No, Mr. Night. I have not been in love. Do you want to marry?”

“Seems like I have to.”

“If you didn’t need to.”

“Marriage changes little, but if the woman wants it, then yes, I would marry.”

“And children? Would you like to have children?”

“Yes. Four.”

She glanced at him and repeated, “Four?”

“Yes. Four.”

“What do you know how to cook?”

“Steak. Only the best eggs you’ve ever eaten. Really good lamb stew. A bacon sandwich. You won’t go hungry with me, pretty matchmaker. Don’t worry.”

“Is this another proposal?”

“Always!” he grinned at her. “Now that you know everything about me, am I making a more appealing candidate?”

“I am sure that you are, for others. I am not looking for a husband, Mr. Night,” she reminded him dryly.

“Why hasn’t the ginger bloke closed the deal?” Azriel started on the pastries, popping one of them in his mouth whole. That solicited a frown from Elain, but he only smiled at her. “What’s he waiting for?”

“Why do you think it’s the man, and not me?”

“You are a fucking matchmaker, princess. Of course you wanna get married. Come on now,” he bubbled his lips. “It’s like saying I am a footballer, but I don’t want to win the Ballon D’Or. Of course I do. Probably no chance of it, but nevertheless, the dream is there.”

“Maybe, hypothetically, I want to get married. But it’s nothing and to no one specific,” she finally relented. 

“Well, that’s a start,” he smiled. “Anything else? What do you want to know? My favourite colour? It’s cobalt blue, by the way. Funny how you wore a skirt in that colour the first time we met. You think it’s a sign?” he winked at her.

“No. I do not.”

“You are so hard to impress,” he complained jokingly. “Tough little cookie. But I’ll break that hard exterior and will get to the soft, gooey inside, the delicious centre.”

“Mr. Night, please remember that ours is a professional relationship. You aren’t breaking me in or whatever it is you just said. It definitely sounded wholly inappropriate. 

“I, however, must ask you more personal questions…Which, honestly, I am dreading,” she added sombrely.

Azriel stretched his very long legs under the table and crossed them at the ankles, before lacing his fingers on his stomach and smiling like an asshole at her. 

“Come on then, pretty matchmaker. Bring it on! I won’t put the moves on you–unless you want me to–and I will behave,”

“Why am I doubting everything you just said?” she whispered with a heavy sight.

“Oh, don’t. Come on, ask away!”

“I preferred you when you were reluctant and a moody arsehole, like you were at our first meeting.”

“Oh, I am still that. Don’t worry. But I am making an effort here and want to make your life a bit easier.”

“How are you in bed, Mr. Night?” she blurted out. “Any specific preferences that a prospective match should know about? Dominant? Submissive? Rough? BDSM? Any fetishes? Any musts? Any hard limits? And how do you feel about fidelity?”

“Well, fuck me that’s a lot of questions! I think I will have that whiskey after all.”

They waited for his whiskey to be delivered and Azriel took a sip, smacking his lips with appreciation.

“You are a bad influence, Ms. Archeron,” he told her. “You make me want to live.”

She looked at him and his declaration with surprise.

“And you don’t live otherwise?”

“I dunno. With you, things seem…easier. Lighter? Like I don't have to worry about my form constantly, or think about the game, or training, or restrict myself. It’s nice, you know. It feels like there is more to the world, and to my life than what I am used to. I can have a drink, and have some pastries, and wear a suit…Not just trainers that sponsor me, or salads and leafy greens and lean protein.”

Elain smiled, “You sound like my sister Nesta. She is a dancer. She is very careful about what she eats,”

“Hence the tofu that makes Pinky sick.”

“Indeed.”

He resumed his position, with his hands on his stomach and then said,

“I am rough. As a lover.”

Elain stopped typing in her IPad and stared at him, clearly not expecting this nugget of info to drop on her lap.

“Rough?” she repeated at last. “As in…violent?”

He chuckled.

“Nah, I ain’t violent, pretty girl.”

“Mr. Night,” she snapped.

“Sorry, sorry. Ms. Archeron–where I come from, fucking is quick, hard, rough and unromantic. There ain’t no flickering candles, soft music, gauzy curtains,”

“I am impressed and a bit alarmed that you just used the word ‘gauzy’,” Elain commented.

“All, I’ve been hitting the dictionary every night. Picking up fancy words to impress you with!”

“You should be impressing your future matches,” she reminded him with a meaningful look, and he nodded in acquiescence. 

“Yeah, I remember. The matches.”

“So, you are rough,” Elain repeated. 

“Listen–on and off for a few years, I didn’t even have a place to sleep when I was a teen. Three months with one family, six weeks with another, four days with another…Stretches of time in between where Cass and me had to fend for ourselves. But you know…needs must and all. My dick was a teenage dick regardless of what my family situation was, so I had to get it where I could.”

Elain listened without commenting, her face expressionless. Azriel wasn’t sure if she was shocked, or repulsed, or judging him. That damn poker face of hers was on point.

“And where could I get it? Against the wall near the chippy, or on a park bench, or in a stairwell. That doesn’t bode well for lengthy sessions of tender lovemaking.

“So I go in pretty rough. I’ll make you come–a lady, I’ll make a lady come–but if she is looking for prim and proper that ain’t me.”

He scrubbed his hand over his face. 

“I ain’t mean, Ms. Archeron. I am an athlete–I am controlled and powerful. Before I took up football, I used to box. There wasn’t much else to do where we lived, and because Cass and I were so big, we joined the local church’s boxing club. It taught me how to control my strength, my physicality, and my size. There ain’t ever been a need to be physically rough with the girl. Why? What’s she gonna do against me, you know?”

“Anything else?”

“All that other stuff you’d mentioned–BDSM, dom and sub–I don’t have any interest in that. I don’t particularly like inflicting pain, especially not on women. But if you’d like me to spank you or tie you up, I’ll tie you up. Whatever you fancy, Ms. Archeron.”

Elain blushed violently and adorably, as she scrambled to pretend to type something.

“So you do like to be spanked?” he grinned at her. He knew that she was fake typing right now.

She squirmed in her chair, and woke up Piglet, when she poked him with her foot. He snorted his disappointment and then emerged from under the table and immediately looked at Azriel with a pleading gaze. 

“I saved you a sandwich,” Azriel chuckled, tearing a piece of the sandwich and feeding it to the pug. “Coronation chicken, no less.”

Piglet began chomping on the sandwich with delight, finding a kindred spirit in Azriel. 

“I am still waiting for an answer, Ms. Archeron,” Azriel teased. “Spanking? Tying up? Are you a dom? Or do you like to submit? And before you tell me that this is not about you, I’d still like to know.”

“Well, this is not about me,” she hissed.

Azriel cocked his head to the side and looked at her with a humoured look in his eyes, asking,

“Are you a virgin?” 

“For god’s sake, Mr. Night! Why are you asking me this?!” she demanded, scandalised.

“No shame in that,” he said lightly. “If you are, I mean. I am not judging.”

“Well, I am not, Mr. Night. I am a grown woman. And not a virgin. Are you the one who is going to be asking questions now?!”

“Yes, now I am kind of into it. What’s your favourite colour?”

“Pink!” she snapped.

“How about favourite food?”

“Sushi!”

“Cold raw fish–yum. But like I said before, no judgement.”

“Feels like judgement,”

“What else can I ask?”

“Nothing!”

“Do you find me handsome?”

“No!” she cried out.

“No? But I am a handsome footballer, what’s wrong with me?”

“Your gigantic ego.”

“Ego just corresponds to other parts of my anatomy,” he shrugged innocently.

“Oh lord. We are quite finished here, Mr. Night. I think we should get the bill.”

“I think I’d like another whiskey,” he argued.

“Well, you’ll be drinking it alone.”

“Naw…Pink is staying here with me. I am feeding him sandwiches and you know he ain’t going anywhere. Sit that pretty plump arse of yours down, Ms. Archeron. We’ll go soon enough.”

She pouted, but her traitorous dog was only proving Azriel correct, as he slurped his water and chewed on the sandwich that Azriel kept feeding him.

“My arse isn’t plump,” she muttered.

He glanced at her and smiled, “I’ll be the judge of that,” he decided. “Hope the ginger bloke appreciates your arse and worships it the way it deserves to be worshipped. It’s a hella nice coupla buns. Sorry and all…but I noticed,”

“No. More. Whiskey.” Elain ordered, wiping her brow. She was going to lose 10 kilos by the time all of this was going to be over. This man needed to be in some special institution. 

“I know what kind of a wife I want!” he suddenly declared, rubbing his hands excitedly.

“Oh you do, do you? Please tell. I am…well, scared, but also intrigued.”

“I want the kind of girl who kisses me at red lights.”

“That’s actually…kind of romantic,” Elain agreed, surprised. He made no sense this man, but he definitely kept her on her toes.

“Yeah, kind of like she can’t even wait to give me a hot and sloppy one. So she waits until we are at a red light and goes for it.”

Meanwhile, Piglet finished his sandwich and ambled towards the massive wall of windows, looking out with great interest. Because he was wearing his Burberry jacket, and now stood in front of a window overlooking the Gherkin, the Tower of London and the Tower Bridge, charmed tourists and other guests began pointing at him and oohing and ahhing with delight, completely awed by the stylish pug.

“They gonna start taking photos of him.” Azriel whispered to Elain, and she smiled, nodding, while she quickly snapped a pic of her own.

“Going on his Insta?” he joked, while the waiter brought another whiskey. Azriel figured that he might not be leaving here any time soon. He hadn’t felt this relaxed in god knows how long. 

“Obviously!” she tapped something quickly on her phone and in the next minute, showed it to him.

It was an amazing photo, considering that she barely even moved to take it–but Piglet looked like he was floating above the city, his expression pensive, his jacket on point, every landmark below him captured with crisp precision. 

Enjoying London Town #puginthesky #whenpugsfly #puglyfe

“How do you even come up with these so quickly?” he shook his head, but then quickly requested, “send it to me. I want to have it. Also, it’s a gorgeous pic!”

“Thank you.”

Elain reached for her bag and then withdrew a folder, which she lay on the table, between the two of them.

“What’s that?”

“Mr. Night, I wanted to mention this before we go further.”

“Sounds ominous,” he huffed.

“Are you currently…sexually active?”

He cocked his brow at her and chuckled, “what a question, Ms. Archeron! Why? Are you interested?”

She ignored the suggestive quip and said, “It’s just that it would be preferential if you maintain a certain amount of abstinence while being matched. You can certainly decide to engage in sexual relations with the match when the two if you are ready, but I would ask you to treat it as you would a normal relationship…”

“I’ve never been in a relationship,” he sipped his whiskey. “So I am no expert. But I think I can manage it.”

“You truly haven’t been in a relationship?”

“No. Not really.”

“And yet you can abstain?” she confirmed.

“Matchmaker,” he sighed, “I am almost 30, I have some self-control. It’s been a while since I’ve lost control over pussy,”

“Mr. Night!”

“Sorry, sexual relations. Listen, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my youth. Nothing too terrible, but I should’ve done better. Now I am the Captain, and the younger lads look up at me. I want to do right by them, make sure that their careers don’t blow up, that they are careful with their money and the women that they are with. With us–you can get one injury, and it could be career ending. Everything you’ve been counting on, planning on, expecting, working for a decade towards–poof, gone! All because someone made a bad tackle, or you ran wrong, or a ligament snapped. And you are left with nothing, all the contracts and games and endorsements are gone just like that,” he snapped his fingers. “Everyone thinks they’ll be a Ronaldo, or a Messi, or a Zidane, but that’s untrue for most players. 

“So now, I feel a sense of responsibility. Look at me–I am an old fucker,” he laughed. “But it’s true. So yeah, I can abstain. When we travel, I don’t party all that much. After dinner, I usually go back to the hotel and play Candy Crush. Or read dark romances.”

At that, Elain giggled, “you do not read dark romances!” she argued.

“Yeah I fuckin’ do!” he insisted.

“Such a liar!”

“Telling you,”

“Okay, so what are you reading currently?” 

“Shantel Tessier’s ‘Carnage’,” he reported immediately. 

“What?”

“Yeah, it’s super smutty,” was the verdict.

“You do not read Shantel Tessier!” Elain gawked at him adorably, completely taken aback.

“You’d be incorrect. Listen, I had an injury a couple of years ago and was in rehab for two months. I was bored out of my mind. The nurse who was taking care of me got me hooked up on dark romances. I fuckin’ love that shite!” he admitted excitedly. “You ladies write some bloody crazy shit. Never read anything like that written by a man!”

Azriel glanced in Pinky’s direction and smiled widely. The pug was legitimately posing for photos and creating a mini stampede around him. He was even giving over the shoulder looks, not to mention all sorts of side and front poses, knowing exactly what needed to be done to gain the most reaction. 

“Hey mate, you can photograph him, but don’t touch him,” Azriel said protectively, when some guy wanted to pick the dog up. “He doesn’t like anyone but me and my girl touching him. He bites.”

Maybe the truth was stretched a bit, but whatever. It worked, because the bloke stepped back cautiously and didn’t attempt to touch the dog anymore.

‘I am not your girl,” Elain said quietly, crimping the napkin on her lap.

“No. But you could be. Nothing’s stopping you,” he said simply.

With that, Elain pushed the folder towards him and explained,

“Your first match”.

#elriel #elriel fanfic #my writing #elain archeron #azriel #azriel and elain #elain #pro elriel #elain x azriel #A Match Baked In Heaven #new chapter #Acotar Fanfiction #Elriel fanfiction #elriel fic #acotar

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi Makenzie

It's the anon with the partner with the 4 hour plateau period again (this seems to be the quickest way to clue you in about who this is again) and I'm glad to say I've taken your advice to heart and slept on it. Yesterday my partner and me had a "fight" (between "" because we just talked openly about what bothered us and there was no shouting, threatening or physical violence, which I am extremely happy about but also makes it hard for my brain to catalogue it as a fight- let's just say it's good this is my first relationship, huh?) about a situation they pushed me into despite my earlier protests and how I shut down afterwards -we're good!- and I brought up how the sexual stuff has been weighing on me. I told them what you told me re: sexual incompatibility and breaking up and they basically immediately apologised, told me sex isn't that big of a deal to them after all and that they don't think we have to break up over it.

I've been fearing our first fight since we started dating, but I'm glad to be able to report that it actually helped strenghten our relationship: I now know I have to work on being more assertive around my boundaries instead of pussyfooting around them and they promised they will do their utmost to listen when I say I don't feel up for stuff.

As for the comments on that original post who expressed their concern about me: please don't worry! I'm good! My partner is one of the sweetest people I know, even if they can be hard-headed (and of hearing) sometimes. They did not willingly pressure me into anything, and the one time they did disregard my 'no' (about a social thing, don't worry!) they really regret and we will both work to ensure that won't happen again.

Thanks for everything!

hi anon,

oh boy! I'm certainly glad to hear you and your partner were able to have a disagreement without physical violence (although unspeakably concerned that you feel the need to specify that and sound so relieved about it), and it's good that you were able to express your needs about sex. like I said in my last answer, the two of you not having sex with each other anymore was like... the bare minimum of what needed to change here.

now, having said that, I'm going to be so real with you: for eight years now I've tried to keep it pretty neutral in my responses and meet my anons where they're at instead of passing judgment, but based on everything you've told me in your two asks I do not like this relationship at all and your partner sounds like they kind of suck.

here's literally all the info I have based on the two asks you have sent me: you met your partner a month ago and, in your own words, they "upended my understanding of myself by somehow making it so we're in a relationship together." in the month you've been together, your partner has

told you (their transmasculine partner) that they wished your body looked more like actresses in porn

told you "on the very first day" that they need to get off only to do a switcheroo when you brought up the idea of breaking up

made you feel wildly insecure in your relationship for your lack of interest in sex

pushed you into a situation that you were actively protesting, re: your fight from this ask, with a possible SECOND instance of this based on your last paragraph

straight up if you were one of my friends talking about your relationship this way I would be BEGGING you to break up with them. this is an insane amount of emotional distress for a MONTH

#sex edventures 2023

[freakartack]

I love your Orbulon and space bunnies are sea creatures propaganda how do you even come up with that it’s so cool‼️

Thank you!! A fun fact about me is that i am actually insane about invertebrates. So when wario presented me with two made-up invertebrates i went a little insane. I do play it kind of fast and loose with these guys so i'm sure an actual specbio enthusiast would not be impressed but i'd say 40% of my creative decisions are also based in what would be the funniest (such as making sure the polyp looks like a bowling pin)

I have hinted at this via my orbiology poster but i have an entire orbulon corkboard living in my head so here is the bulk of that iceberg

Based on orbulon's aversion to heat, big ol' sunglasses, and milky complexion, i think that he is the interstellar equivalent of a cave olm. Instead of an underground cave i think he lives on a gas giant far from his system's sun, which would be cold, dark, and have a thick atmosphere for him to "swim" through. ("What about the air pressure?" You say. "Hold your horses" I say. "It will all be worth it in the end.") This reason i think it is worth it is because my model for this is uranus, the gas giant whose atmosphere contains notable amounts of, and i cannot stress this enough, methane. Tell me a more warioware planet

I also think that his planet is predominantly blue, not just because of the youranus thing but also because whenever he gets really scared he literally turns blue. Check it out

I think this is NOT the same as blushing, but a fear response similar to cuttlefish changing color to camouflage with their environment via chromatophores in their skin. Unfortunately when orbulon is scared shitless he does a bad job of it and just defaults to his home planet color, but when he actually thinks about it he can change his color and shape to be whatever he wants (such as a pretty woman).

3. On a similar note, orbulon does not have teeth but he can shapeshift his mouth to create the facsimile of teeth. This is a cool party trick but you need to know that the fake teeth are still squishy and it's really gross.

4. Orbulon's eyes are uber-sensitive to light which is why he needs those impenetrable coke-bottle sunglasses. He also doesn't have eyelids, so during his 24-hour naps his eyes are open the whole time. Sweet dreams.

5. This is going to veer out of plain biology and into his society so i'm not going to go too deep into this but basically i think that telepathy is an integral part of intraspecies communication and that their society is very communal as a result. Think like ants with pheromones, not a hivemind in that they lose their individual identities but they're definitely less atomized than humans. They're also wildly intelligent and have canonically developed time travel technology to the point where the average person can just have a time machine built into their car. This gives a little insight into orbulon's mindset here

(I don't think he's very clever by orbulon standards)

This is getting too long and crazy so i'm going to top it off with one more thing. I know orbulon is supposed to have smooth skin but in my heart i wish he had the texture of these bad boys

#If any of this is contradicted by the new game that just came out do NOT tell me i will cry #not art

[lemonhemlock]

If you were one of the writers of the show , how will you write Aegon's character? His development, his bond with his dragon, relationship with his children, wife, siblings etc...

Like how he will be from his childhood to his adulthood + how he will be as a king and how he will become after the war...

Like you free to not use Tom's interpretation or Sara+ryan's interpretation if you don't want to.

I'm interested to know how will you write F&B Aegon and i hope you write it in details if you have time because i love reading your ideas.

What a monumental ask, thank you! This character has had such a hold on me; I can feel the potential radiating off this combination of screen + page. I ranted in the past about how I disagree with the choices they made with him, but they did endow him with an exasperating capacity for greatness, a lot of it thanks to TGC's interpretation.

I do think that Aegon could have been one of the most memorable ASOIAF characters and one of the most thrilling explorations of kinghood. I am not referring to people's already-cemented views of him; I am speaking of building the most compelling version of this character possible within the basic narrative of FB, beyond any fandom sectarian lines. Basically, what I'd like to do with these raw materials is to construct a character that people will love, but that they would find very, very uncomfortable, in a prickling-beneath-the-skin type of way.

I am also well aware that this will start to diverge wildly from canon, so don't feel compelled to point that out. I know already. This is going to get very, very self-indulgent since that was the nature of the ask.

Trigger warning for everything. Needless to say, I'm not writing a wholesome script here.

So let's turn him into this generation's Commodus.

This will mostly be imagery and vibes, because I don't have a lot of plot point thought out.

Some of the descriptive tags I use something when referring to green family dynamics are those of #an incestuous autophagous family gradually violating every boundary until every kind of social role leeches into the next #collapsing onto itself in psychosexual neurosis. Sound very pretentious, I know, but it's basically this idea of House Targaryen retreating within its family unit as a result of trauma, but ending in a process of cannibalization. I would have Aegon be the main exponent of this type of breakdown. So I will usually choose the most fucked-up option whenever possible, but I'd focus mostly on innuendo & psychological fuckery, rather than anything more graphic. I mean, this is a TV show, still.

Consequently, one of the readings that I find the most disturbing (and entertaining) is that of Aegon wanting to crawl back inside Alicent's womb, to revert to that pre-birth state in which they weren't separated, they were still one whole and whatever particles of him lived inside Alicent were safe and warm and protected. I am going to link to a few posts I made that describe this type family dynamic (1, 2, 3, 4, 5). This is pretty intense, granted, but imagine if there were a TV show that had the balls to implement this kind of dynamic. I mean, if you can't realise it within ASOIAF-verse, then where?

So I would have Aegon mirror Alicent in the way that she's trying to keep her family together. Aegon craves his family, he wants to feed off of them and wants them to feed off him. He wants them all to collapse into each other back to that original state of being physical parts of Alicent in a far-away time that coincides with Alicent's girlhood. It's often said in meta that Cersei views her children as extensions of herself. I want the opposite for Aegon, our most self-aware, fourth-wall-breaking character: I want him to know that he is an extension of Alicent. This will only become apparent to the viewer later, because we start in a completely different way.

I'd say that this could work very well, because on screen Alicent & Aegon look a lot alike. The casting directions really pulled through here. Alicent seems to communicate often through touch - she will anxiously grab at whomever she's talking to or she will engage in self-soothing gestures. I'd have Aegon inherit that from his mother, that need to physically connect with his family. He'd like them to hug him, but they don't initiate, so he grabs at them to stop them from leaving or just so he could feel them. In one of these scenes, I'd have him look wistfully at her and say some creepy melancholic shit about how they have the same face. "If you were a man, you'd be me." (IF I WERE A MAN, I'D BE JAIME - IF I WERE A WOMAN, I'D BE CERSEI - you get it. We're running with this).

Similarly, I would have Aegon willing & eager to accept violence from his family as an act of love. As long as his mother slaps him, it means that she loves him, it means that she cares, it means that she deigns to touch him. She can do it in public or in court & he won't react other than being weepy. (fans love this anyway, he's never beating the pathetic wet rat allegations) I'd also give Ser Criston the privilege of knocking Aegon about. Heck, the entire Kingsguard (those who did not desert, at least, because it means they are truly loyal to him). I want to toy with the idea of the trappings of kinghood - the king doesn't have absolute powers, he is a prisoner in his own right OR does he just choose to give them up and be pushed about for whatever reason? I want the viewer not to know what Aegon is going to do, whether he will pull rank or whether he will submit.

For Aemond, I've already provided a few links above on how I'd portray their relationship. With Daeron, I'd have him be ecstatic - finally, someone who doesn't look at him with disgust & disappointment! (Mostly because Daeron has been away for a long time and hasn't had time to be disappointed by Aegon, but, oh, well) Finally someone who will withstand his hugs! I'd have Aegon be very caring-big-brother like.

With Helaena, I'd give him a better relationship, because it's just more interesting to me than to have him another awful targhusband. Aegon is not someone who has a lot of patience, but for Helaena, he could channel Alicent sometimes (IF I WERE A WOMAN I'D BE MY MOTHER) and get through to her.

I've already spoken to death on the issue of their children - the most interesting and toxic option for me is if none of them know who fathered them, but they do not care. Sometimes they wonder, but as a curiosity. The children belong to all of them. They are all Alicent's, anyway. She made them all via parthenogenesis. (this is a joke lol). Feel free to disagree with this, I do not care; make your own AU.

I would also age them up, frankly, because it's ridiculous for teenagers to be doing all of these things anyway. I'd have them be in their early twenties - with Alicent maybe around 38? That's still young, before any of you gets their knickers in a twist. So maybe another 10-year time jump after the eye incident.

I've already written a post on what I'd change about Season 1, but I'll add a few more indulgent changes.

I would give baby!Aegon the white hart symbolism just to fuck with Rhaenyra.

I do like Ty Tennant's Aegon and wouldn't change much about him, except give him more things to do. If I could add an extra episode between "We Light The Way" and "The Princess and The Queen", I'd fill it up mostly with interactions between all of the children. Jace, Luke, Aegon, Helaena, Aemond & Daeron. Have them do stuff separately and together. Show more of Aemond being bullied, but also have Aegon rope his siblings into some silly adventure. Show them how to navigate the secret tunnels. Convince them to sneak out into the city. Do something cute with them, so it's not all doom & gloom.

I would portray young Aegon as someone who is naturally talented but doesn't apply himself. That annoying instinctually smart kid that never does his homework but somehow coasts by. Have his peers be annoyed at this and view him as an arrogant twerp. Make him an arrogant twerp, so it's not just an opinion.

One thing that I haven't really seen discussed all that much is the effect Viserys' illness might have on Aegon. He sees the throne cut his father and infect him to such a degree he becomes a walking husk of a man. He thinks, he knows that one day that will be him. If "all goes well", he will have to sit the Iron Throne and become infected and diseased like that. (This is false, but we'll only realise later. The throne will never cut Aegon. It will hurt him in different ways).

His father doesn't care for him anyway, so Aegon subconsciously rejects all this. He needs constant stimulation to take his mind off this gruesome fate. I would give him Prince Hal energy. Mingling with the common people, bawdy, rude, whoring & drinking his liver out. Perhaps by doing all this, he believes he will disqualify himself from the position? Or that no one would be so mad as to place him on the throne. We could have some fun by showing him getting into street fights over the dumbest shit. Just behaving like a general rapscallion. Yes, I would cut the rape and the child fighting rinks. 🤦‍♀️

I would like to develop his relationship with Rhaenyra somehow. When he's older, maybe entertain the idea of him having the same attitude towards Rhaenyra as Aemond has towards him - jealousy, viewing her as depositing all of father's love, despite her not doing anything to "earn" it. In effect, she is being just as irresponsible as he is, only that she's passing her bastards off ahead of him in the line of succession, while he's drinking and whoring. Yet, he is the only one being looked down upon.

I'd make both Aegon and Sunfyre have a soft spot for children in general. It's a surefire way to get the audience on your side. Show him playing with his own children and being goofy with them.

Blood & Cheese is a very good opportunity to delevop deranged! Aegon. Maybe have him torture and kill Blood himself. In the books, he orders every ratcatcher to be hanged. This can go as dark as you like. If you're really feeling lugubrious, he could kill them himself, one by one (???) Show him in his unhinged era, but also show him comforting his sister and mother. I wouldn't be framing him heroically here; he is turning into a villain. I'd show his family a little wary of him, like all this revenge action is getting too much. Aegon looks back at them and doesn't understand why they're being cagey - this is all for their protection and dignity, don't they see?

I have this idea of a scene of him delegating Crown business to Alicent: open court day, she is hearing petitions. Aegon insists that she be the one sitting the throne that day, not Otto. This image of him waltzing into the throne room, splattered in blood from one of his "interrogation" sessions, the whole proceedings stop, everyone bows down to greet him, Alicent starts getting up from the throne, Aegon says there's no need. His mother is the steward of the Crown. He stands there looking on in fascination as she dispenses justice, because it gets his rocks off to see her wield his power. Have him smirking at people as if to say "this is my power trip as well". I'd also include ambiguous cues that would make fans write essays upon essays on the fucked-up implications. So, for example, I'd have people address Alicent as "The Queen", not the Queen Mother or Queen Alicent or the Dowager Queen, while Helaena would be Queen Helaena. No shade to Helaena - I just think it's a lot more messy this way. I'd like to emphasize how she is the boss of them - the King is just there to be a sovereignty-donor.

I would change a lot of things about the military aspect of the war, so to speak. I would make things more even, not give Rhaenyra so many allies because it makes more sense. No ridiculous Lads army and I'd probably render Cregan Stark irrelevant by the time he decides to march down south. I'd also like Aegon to participate in more battles in his own war. So I would not give him Anakin Skywalker-level injuries after Rook's Rest. There's the southern front with the battles of Tumbleton, there's the western front where the Greyjoy fleet is attacking the Lannisters... IDK. I feel like we could give him more to do in this regard. I have this image of him maybe fighting alongside Daeron, getting injured and Daeron enforcing a shield circle around him to get him to safety. Whenever he is injured and bedridden, I'd turn him into a wet-eyed rabbit crying for his mummy. In relation to Aegon, the audience should feel like they want to push him down the stairs, nurse him back to health, then push him down the stairs again.

When he gets smuggled out to Dragonstone, I need him to use all of his car saleman skills and convince the people of Dragonstone to side with him. This should be Aegon at peak politician. Make the commonfolk start believing in his cause. I'd frame him like a cult leader here for shits and giggles. Maybe introduce some comedic moments to lighten the mood a bit. I'd like to parallel injured!Aegon to injured!Sunfyre somehow. Aegon craves affection and so does Sunfyre. Headcanons here and here.

Getting injured by Morning would be the final straw for Aegon. My idea is for Rhaenyra to take Alicent as a hostage when she flees to King's Landing and have Alicent witness Rhaenyra's demise. Have her beg Aegon for mercy, while he remains cold-blooded. This is her son, her baby boy, the one time he decides to disobey her and not heed her advice is when he decides to kill her soulmate. He holds her tenderly while she sobs and fights to get to Sunfyre. (If I were a man, I'd be Aegon).

This is where we can play with crazy, off-his-rocker Aegon. He wants to behead Baela and needs to be calmed down. He oscillated between wanting to kill Aegon III, geld him, send him to the Wall or cut his ear off. He breaks down thinking of his dead brothers. He keeps at Sunfyre's side all times and weeps bitterly as his dragon dies. He is a river of tears and they don't stop flowing. When Sunfyre finally dies, Aegon orders his bones be transported to KL and placed in his chambers.

He takes his mother and goes back to KL where his daughter is. It's time for demented girl dad Aegon! He keeps Jaehaera with him at all times, while dispensing punishments that oscillate between fair and cruel. He has no mercy for the Shepherd's lambs or pretender kings. He is the King. He keeps Jaehaera on his lap, reads to her, plays with her, entertains her child-like trains of thought. Sometimes he asks her how intense should the punishments for traitors be. (I would not make her "simple" in this re-telling, jesus christ).

Alicent advises him to marry her to Aegon III, so as to unite the two rival claims. Aegon refuses. My daughter is the rightful heir / I will not have Rhaenyra's blood dirtying my throne / Andal Law states that a daughter comes before an uncle, isn't that what you taught me all my life?? He knows that this is the best compromise, so as to avoid another future succession crisis, but he just can't bring himself to do it. He pleads with Alicent, tells her he'll sire another boy on Cassandra Baratheon. He'll fix this. Only the best for his sweet little girl. He'll create a proper husband for Jaehaera, just like his mother created the best wife for him with Helaena. Alicent nods and agrees, but doesn't hope that the future will be so simple for them anymore. "Very well, but until that son is born, why don't you betroth them, just in case". Aegon concedes.

Life is not really that great for Aegon at this stage. He is in a lot of pain, prone to bouts of weeping when he remembers his dead family members and dead dragon. He tries to comfort himself thinking of Cassandra and how he plans on claiming another dragon or hatching an egg (he's never been a hatcher, none of them were). That keeps him going for a few more days/weeks. Eventually, he realises that he cannot keep living this half-life, suffocating with this agonizing need for his siblings and dragon. He will tell his mother and daughter that his love for them is enduring and drink the poison himself.

Alicent marries Jaehaera to Aegon in the world's most depressing funerary wedding. They are all she has left - a girl who looks like her children (and her) and a boy who looks like Rhaenyra (rhaenicent reborn!). I would end the story like PRINCESS Shireen said: "two scared children spouting oaths they didn't understand, all that was left of the mighty House Targaryen".

I would end the series with the image of Queen Regent Alicent of House Hightower, hearing petitions, sitting on the Iron Throne, where her son placed her. The throne never cuts her. It hurts her in different ways. She is so young, still. Young forever. The children look like her children.

#aegon ii targaryen #SPOILER ALERT: JAEHAERA LIVES #ryan condal call me 🤙 #this has been so rambly sorry #do not read if you're not into wild AUs with a green bias #i probably missed a lot of things but these are all my (disjointed) thoughts for now #hotd fic

[myjunkisyuzuruhanyu]

Some thoughts about One Piece on Ice

Thanks to some help by one kind fan I managed to watch One Piece on Ice. 😍 Thank you so much! ❤️

Admittedly I probably wouldn't have watched the show if Shoma wouldn't be the star of the show. I was so interested to see his character portrayal because it's so out of Shoma's own character.

But before I talk about Shoma here are some other thoughts...

First of all I am quite clueless about the anime or manga of One Piece which probably would have helped to understand the story better because I don't own any Japanese language skills, so I won't say anything about the story. I just wish I could appreciate the whole story better. (I have basic knowledge of the characters and I watched a couple anime episodes when I was like 12 years old so 😅)

I think anyone who has seen pictures of the show, knows how amazing the costumes are and how close they are to their animation counterpart (I mean at least I know the characters with my less than good one piece knowledge)

It's quite a different than usual ice show. It really tells a complete story, no "extra" skating to just show off, every skating is implemented into the story. It really feels more like a theatre on ice than an actual ice show. It's not easy to produce a theatre that needs to tell a story from 3 viewing angles. Usually theatres are directed to watch from the front. Here it's watched from 3 sides, which on a stream made it sometimes difficult to see the conversation that was going on but in the arena it's needed. (Tbf no stream or video can ever give justice to a theatre production no matter if on ice or in theatre just because the circumstances are wildly different. I won't elaborate on that but let you tell this by a musical nerd who watched countless musicals live and on screen)

The choreography ideas are great. Especially cool are the choreographies for the fight scenes, each fight scene has a different set up. The spcial effects on top of it are so cool. Congrats to Kenji Miyamoto for this show and also congrats to the lighting and special effects designers. These things really add a lot.

The ACTING!!! OMG the acting is so good for an ice show. These are skaters not actors (besides Miyu) and all of them do an amazing job. There is a lot text going on especially for Marin, who is actually the main star of the show, no one has as much to do besides her and she is emoting so well to an audience. She really should be thinking about going to theatre. Rika Hongo is one of my favorite characters in this whole show. This suits her so well. How she can implements the skating skills into the character and how she is never off charater. And SHOMA OMG OMG OMG 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 How can this be Shoma? He can act. Like really. He's full of energy, full of different expressions, he is a come to life animated character, acting over the top like it's suited to the character and on top he does skills on ice I haven't seen him do anywhere before. Admittedly I was sceptical about Shoma acting and on top such a "quirky" character, but they couldn't found a better person for it.

I applaud the full cast for their acting. And they stayed in character until the very end until the curtain call.

It's a great show from the ideas, to the choreography, to the costumes, to the acting! ❤️

What an amazing show! 😍

Do I have any negative points about the show? 🤔 Well only one thing...the availability for ppl outside Japan is a disaster. I know countless ppl who would have paid to see the show on stream but weren't able to because of the geoblocking and trouble finding a working vpn or credit card. It probably has to do with copyright but then at least give the fans an explanation...The other small critique is simply on me personally😅...without knowing Japanese or One Piece it was not the full experience it would surely give...but you know what maybe that actually gives me a reason to really learn Japanese and to watch the anime/manga 😉

If anyone wants to and is able to watch. Do it, you won't be disappointed!

#shoma uno #figure skating #one piece #one piece on ice #personal

[slavicviking]

Sport's Day (Steddie WIP)

Just a little snippet to entice you because I was (am?) having a writing crisis and this little thing helped me break out of it. Takes place right before summer break in 1985

“Jesus Christ, what the f-“

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” a girl yelps. “I was trying to tie my shoe but I have, like, no coordination so I kind of fell over you? I didn’t mean to do that, I’m so sorry. Balancing on one leg is so much harder than it looks. Like, honestly, how do cheerleaders even do that thing where they-“

“Whoa, hey, it’s fine,” Eddie jumps in before the girl – Robin Buckley, turns out – faints from lack of air. A yellow ribbon hangs limply off her wrist. Maybe it makes him a bad person but there is a sense of relief knowing he will not be the only ‘uncoordinated’ one on the team. Harrington is going to have an aneurysm for sure.

Robin blinks down at him, lips pulling down in a frown. “Oh, it’s you.”

Okay? Mean.

“Yes?” Whatever imaginary comradery Eddie hoped for seems off the table all of a sudden. Well, that’s a bummer. “Why the long face? Not happy to see a fellow nerd on the team?”

“You stepped on my sandwich last week.”

Ah. Well. That would do it, he supposes. The lunch break speeches… they sometimes get a little intense. Eddie gets a little intense, is what the rest of the Hellfire Club would probably say. Eddie’s shoes have known to slam face – sole? – first into the best of what the Hawkins High cafeteria had to offer; which is not saying much, to be completely honest.

“My humble apologies,” he tries a little bow and hopes it comes off as sincere. Buckley looks less than convinced. Tough crowd, what can he say.

“Alrighty, I think that’s all of us,” Harrington’s overly cheery voice thunders somewhere from above him and Eddie, like a moth drawn to a flame, has no other option but to look up. With his hands power-posed onto his sinfully slim waist and the sun positioned perfectly behind him, Steve Harrington seems to have taken it upon himself to alter Eddie’s brain chemistry, braincells leaving left and right, leaking right through his ears, never to be seen again.

“You’re drooling,” Robin’s monotone informs him from his right and he promptly slams his mouth shut, even though he knows the claim is wildly exaggerated. Buckley may be the best or the worst person he’s ever met – he needs to befriend her.    

“First up is the relay-race. We need four people. Anyone up?”

Harrington is met with painful silence and that does dim the cheery smile a little bit. Eddie wonders if that is where the King Steve comes out of the hiding, all scary, sharp teeth and disregard of basic human decency. He himself stills, for once not wanting to draw any attention to himself, feeling like a student who doesn’t know the correct answer which, not to brag, if you asked Higgins or any other teacher in Hawkins High, is something Eddie excels in. Curiosity, though, is a fickle thing and he’s fallen victim to it more times that he can count, and so when the uncomfortable silence drowns on, Eddie can’t help but take a look around to meet the Team Yellow, so to speak.

Fred Benson peers at him from his thick glasses. A group of scared freshman cower together. There’s a couple of band kids other than Robin Buckley who forgone glaring at the back of Eddie’s head in order to chew on her lip nervously and stare at the ground. Not a jock in sight.

Steve Harrington couldn’t have landed a worse team if he tried.

Surprisingly he doesn’t look like he’s about to piss himself over it.

Huh.

Probably will post the whole thing tomorrow ok bye

#steddie #my writing #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #stranger things

[wowbright]

Today was soooo stressful.

There were also moments of non stress.

Went birding with my old people. My friend X is one of the first people I met when I moved out here and spouse refers to him as "yo boy," a recognition of high friendship status in our household. Probably the most outgoing and friendly among the birding crowd around here. He's in his 80s now and started having in the past few years what the doctors diagnosed as seizures. He's on anti-seizure meds and he's losing sight in one of his eyes. He says his memory (mostly in the recall of facts) isn't what it used to be. He wonders if he's getting dementia but that hasn't been diagnosed and I kind of think (not a medical diagnosis) it's more likely to be depression. He's been pretty glum lately, really is not adapting well to the changes in his body and feels very limited by them, it doesn't feel like he can engage in most of his hobbies anymore. He can't drive anymore either because of his vision, his wife taxes him most places. He mostly goes birding for the social aspect, though he does seem to enjoy the easy finds like the larger water birds. (His vision issues make looking through binoculars hit or miss and he has given up on wearing his hearing aids when birding.) He said he recently went into the doctors for a rash, took one of those wellness surveys during the intake, and the first thing the doctor wanted to talk about was not about the rash but whether or not he had any guns in his house. (He doesn't.) He tells me he's not suicidal and doesn't have a suicide plan, but over the past few months he's expressed more than once that maybe he would be okay with dying already. I listen, and then he tells me a terrible birding joke.

He does get excited over the number of songbirds and ducks we see today. I am pretty happy with our sightings too. Canvasbacks!

I run some errands and on the way back in a 40 mile an hour zone with nowhere to pull off, my car starts acting wild. First thing I notice is that the defroster stops working. Then the radio cuts out. That I noticed that the brake light is on, even though the emergency brake is definitely not engaged (I check). I have forgotten where the switch for the hazard light is. The hand on the speedometer is waving wildly between 0 and 40 mph, even though I'm going at a steady speed. I find the hazard light switch, hit it, but nothing happens. I reach an intersection and turn onto a smaller road, but the power steering isn't working so it's a bit of a task, especially when the steering wheel momentarily freezes up completely in the middle of the turn. The car is moving but there's definitely some miscommunications going on between the gas pedal and the engine. I am on a less busy (but still busy) street, my goal is to get down far enough so that somebody turning right around the corner doesn't just hit my car, park in the right lane (there are two lanes in each direction) and turn on the hazards. BUT WAIT THE HAZARDS AREN'T WORKING. So I just keep going and hope I can pull into the next side street. I reach a side street, pull sideways into it. The side street goes uphill and the car does not have enough power to make a complete right turn or to go up that hill, so basically I am parked across one of the lanes. Fortunately it is a dead end street into a shishi residential neighborhood, and it's the middle of the day, so no one is trying to go in or out of it. Call my spouse who doesn't answer, call again, no answer, police officer stops and wants to help push the car to a safer place but that's a no-go. She also mentions that I probably should not sit in the car in case it gets sideswiped. (Oh yeah whoops.) Tow truck shows up after about 10 minutes, and it turns out that this really was a good street to pull into, because I only see one vehicle going in or out the entire time I'm waiting, and it has no issues going around my car.

Well, survived that! The car is back at the apartment along with the groceries that were in the trunk, but it's not going to run until we get it towed *again* to the repair place.

If only the alternator (we're assuming that's the problem) had waited two more months to crap out, because we'll be living in the city by then and could feasibly just not have a car at all. That won't work in the meantime though. Sigh.

#depression mention #firearms mention #car stuff #me

[aloneinthehellfire]

Chapter 2: Fears

Season One | Season Two | Season Three

[Raining Hellfire: Season Three]

Word Count: 2628 words

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, just a little sad

[A/N: I hate how slow this story has started off but pls enjoy and let me know what your theories are so far if you have any]

Fears

You arrived at Scoops Ahoy just in time to hear Robin’s taunting voice.

“And another one bites the dust.”

You walk passed two girls with ice creams currently giggling to eachother and you shake your head. Steve’s flirting had failed once again.

“You are oh-for-six, Popeye.” She marks a tally on her board, one she had made during a break when she was getting incredibly bored of Steve’s whining about not having a girlfriend.

You walk up to the counter, not knowing that Steve hadn’t noticed you there.

“Yeah, yeah, I can count.” He says, already sick of Robin’s jokes.

“You know that means you suck.” Robin mocks and he tightens his lips.

“Yep, I can read too.”

“Since when?”

You hold in a laugh, Robin shifting her gaze slightly to notice you leant against the counter. Steve stared down at his shoes and in that moment she sends you a suspicious wink and you raise your eyebrow. What was she up to?

“It’s this stupid hat.” Steve complains, walking towards the divider Robin was behind, “I am telling you, it is totally blowing my best feature.”

“Yeah, company policy is a real drag.” Robin jokes, leaning to him, “But, you know, that’s not really your problem.”

“Then what is?”

She risks a glance to you and you straighten, shaking your head.

“Maybe... your heart just isn’t in it?”

“My heart?” He raises an eyebrow, “What kind of bullshit is that?”

“I just mean that, hypothetically, deep down… you don’t want to date those girls.”

You start to make your way around the counter, swinging your arms around wildly to shut her up. It only entertained her further.

“Then what girl do I want to date?” He was confused now but incredibly intrigued.

“Have you ever considered that the girl you want to date is-”

“You should just tell them the truth!” You interrupt and Steve practically jumps out of his skin, stumbling.

“What the fuck, dude?” Steve stares at you, wide eyed.

You laugh awkwardly, “Oops.”

“When did you- never mind.” He shakes his head, sighing.

You send Robin a glare and she shrugs, disappointed.

“What’s your big idea then? Since everyone is apparently involved in my love life now.” Steve looked to you, crossing his arms as he leant back against the wall.

“Not our fault you keep whining about it.” You surrender, leaning against the counter. “But… you should at least think about telling them the truth. Girls like that.”

When Steve raises his eyebrow, you shrug and Robin sighs.

“You know, she’s right.” She nods and Steve groans.

“She usually is.” He complains and you smile slightly, shrugging it off when Robin catches you, “The truth?”

“Yeah?” You say like it’s the most obvious solution.

“Oh, you mean, that I couldn’t even get into Tech and my douchebag dad’s trying to teach me a lesson, I make three bucks an hour and I have no future? That truth?” Steve deadpans, awaiting your response.

“You might get a date out of pity?” You wince and he looks to you.

“Wow, thank you so much.” He sighs before slumping his shoulders. “And I’m sorry for complaining. I know you’re basically in the same boat I am.”

“Aye, aye.” You laugh, pointing to his hat. You immediately shut your mouth when he glares at your attempt for a joke.

“Hey, twelve o’clock.” Robin snaps her fingers and you turn to see a group of girls heading towards the counter.

“Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Okay… uh…” He looks to you both, nodding. “I’m going in. And you know what?”

He quickly throws off his hat

“Screw company policy.”

You and Robin exchange looks.

“Oh, my God, you’re a whole new man.”

“Woah, you’ve been Steve Harrington this whole time?”

He sends you both a mocking look before turning around and practically scaring the life out the girls.

“Ahoy, ladies! Didn’t see you there. Would you guys like to set sail on this ocean of flavour with me?”

You shake your head in amusement, turning to Robin.

“I can’t believe that man used to be the biggest flirt in high school.” You shake your head, watching as Steve fails to charm yet another customer. It was a little sad, actually. You figured if Steve Harrington couldn’t get a date, you had no chance.

“Hey, Y/n?” Robin tilts her head at you as you still stare at Steve.

“Hm?”

“Why does Steve think you didn’t get into college?”

“Shh!” You practically shove her head through the divider, making your way through the doors to meet her on the other side. “Because he doesn’t know!”

“Why not? I thought you two were best friends?” She frowns.

“We are. Which is why-”

“Why you didn’t tell him you got a scholarship?”

“It’s…” You squeeze your eyes shut, waving your hand in the air, “Complicated.”

“What’s complicated about it?” Robin suddenly smiles, leaning towards you. “Oh, is this one of those stories where you realised you fell for your best friend and you don’t know how to tell him so you give up every life opportunity just to spend time with him?”

You blink at her. “How pathetic do you think I am?”

“Then what?”

“I… I couldn’t do it.” You admit, pacing slightly as every decision you made leading to this flew through your mind.

“Do what?”

“Leave.” You slump into a chair. “I was so excited for years about the possibility of leaving this place. I mean the whole reason I wanted to was because of my sister but then one day she just showed up and that plan was cancelled. And then it was gonna be me and Eddie…”

Robin slowly nods, humming. “So what I’m hearing is that… you’re scared?”

“I was on my own when I moved here.” You shake your head, looking at your hands, “And I hated it. I guess all my graduation plans had involved another person. And, I don’t know, I just hate the idea of being on my own again.”

I hate the idea of losing everyone I love.

“I get that.” She solemnly nods, sitting back in her chair. “The fear of being alone? Haunts me.”

“Just… don’t tell him.” You plead. Robin glances at the divider before looking back at you, a sincere smile on her face.

“I won’t.”

“So… what amazing, life changing plans do you have tonight?”

Steve asks, leaving the mall’s locker rooms in a fresh set of clothes and practically staring daggers at his Scoops Ahoy uniform.

You step away from the wall to see him wearing his soft yellow jumper over a pair of faded jeans.

“I thought I stole that.” You point to the jumper, frowning.

“You did.” He hugs his torso protectively, “And you gave it back to me that one Christmas, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” You sigh, yawning.

“You have an obsession with my jumper.”

“I just really like the colour.” You comment without thinking, shaking your head back to reality when you realise. “And to answer your question, I have very interesting plans tonight.”

“Really?” He raises a sarcastic brow.

“Hey, I can have interesting plans.” You insist, Steve only raising his other eyebrow. “I’m an interesting person!”

“You’re something.”

You punch his shoulder.

“Ow.” He rubs his shoulder, shaking his head. “Okay, fine, what is this interesting plan of yours?”

“I don’t want to tell you now.” You pout, crossing your arms.

Steve laughs, rolling his eyes. “Very mature.”

You poke your tongue out at him. “Fine, if you must know… I’m meeting Nancy.”

“Wait.” He stops, halting your steps toward the car park. “You. And Nancy. You and Nancy?”

“Why is that so hard to believe?”

He sent you a look and you continued walking.

“We have tickets to see a movie at the drive in.” You explain, feeling a little happy that Nancy agreed in the first place.

“When were these plans made?” He interrogates as if you were hiding something.

“Uh… like a week ago maybe? She was at the pool when I was working and we just started chatting.”

“Cool. Cool, cool. Very cool.” He nods, avoiding your eyes.

“Oh.” You stop this time, Steve looking back to you with a confused look. “Should I not go?”

“What? Of course you should.” He walks the small distance back to you.

“Will it not be too awkward for you? I mean, you’re my best friend and she’s your ex and I didn’t really even think about that at the time but there might be some kind of bro code that I won’t know cause I’m technically not a bro-”

Steve waves his hands wildly in front of your face. “Y/n! It’s fine. I’m not upset about that.”

“Then why are you upset?” You frown.

“I-” He takes a breath, “I don’t even know why. I actually have plans tonight anyway.”

“Really?” You question, sceptical.

“Yeah, yeah.” He furrows his brows, staring straight ahead as you walk out into the parking lot, “I, uh, actually... got a date.”

“Are you serious?” You smile, jumping over to him, “When did that happen?”

“You know, when you and Robin were busy chatting away. One of the girls gave me her number. Lisa.” Steve shrugs, acting nonchalant.

“That’s… cool. I'm happy for you.” You nudge his shoulder and he laughs awkwardly as you both step toward your cars.

“Have fun with Nance, yeah?” Steve calls out, half a smile on his face.

“I will.” You smile, sort of giddy at the idea that you and Nancy were finally reconnecting, “Have fun on your date!”

“Yeah.” He mumbled, getting into his car.

You jumped into your car, the radio immediately turning on. You’re about to switch it off when the familiar lyrics blare out loud.

‘Til now, I always got by on my own

I never really cared until I met you

And now, it chills me to the bone-

You switch it off, sitting back in your seat, smiling to yourself. It had been a while since you heard that song. It was all you ever played during high school, blasting it through your headphones to calm you down. You’d lost the tape a long time ago.

Driving in silence, you pass the abandoned steelwork plant, glancing over before shuddering in disgust. The usually eerily empty building was now home to scurrying rats. No wonder it was shut down a long time ago.

As you park your car just outside the drive-in theatre, you glance to the sign and see Nancy isn’t stood at your planned meeting place. Glancing at your clock, you realise you’re a few minutes early and decide to lean against your car as you wait.

Nancy Wheeler was practically the first friend you made when you moved to Hawkins. You had met Steve around the same time but with Nancy it was different. She welcomed you into her family and gave you a safe place to deal with things. She never really judged you until Barb’s death.

You knew it took a huge toll on her, one you could completely understand. But it didn’t bond you. It broke you over time and ever since, you’ve felt a little piece of you missing. Now, you were getting the chance to reconnect, to mend what had been broken.

But you should have known better than to believe in miracles in Hawkins.

Minutes turn into a painful hour when you realise she isn’t going to show up. The movie playing in the background of your disappointment was already half way done and you decide you really aren’t up for it.

Slipping back into the car, your eyes start to sting. Not because Nancy didn’t show up; your anxiety had already prepared you for that. You just hated the idea of being alone. Especially today of all days.

You started the car, shaking off the tears as you pulled back onto the road and drive back the way you came. The silence soon becomes unbearable and you reach over to switch on your stereo.

Before you could press the button, your car lets out a very unhealthy noise and very soon starts spluttering at you, slowly breaking down until you come to a devastating stop.

You sit frozen until smoke starts forming from the hood.

“Shit, shit, shit!” You mutter as you ran out of the car, throwing open the hood and coughing against the smoke. “No, no. This can’t be happening.”

Your throat tightens and you take a deep breath. You calmly walk back to the driver’s side and sit back in your seat, slamming the door shut behind you.

In frustration and defeat, you lean your head against the wheel, tears starting to fall. You glance at the faded yellow ribbon tied onto one of the loops of your trousers before you mutter under your breath, eyes squeezed shut.

“Happy birthday, Lillian.”

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Lillian! Happy birthday to you!”

The room broke out into cheers as you watched your best friend blow out the candles on her cake.

“12! You are so old now.” You giggle, just for her to playfully shove your shoulder.

“You’re older than me!” She laughed with a grin, brushing her long black hair away from her face.

“A lady never reveals her age.” You smile and she rolls her eyes.

“You’re such a dork.”

“Okay! Presents!” Her mother calls out, Lillian’s father placing a few wrapped boxes on the table in front of his daughter.

“Open mine first!” You insist, handing her the rectangular box practically covered in soft yellow ribbons. Her favourite colour.

She delicately unwraps her present, careful not to rip any of the material. She always liked to keep the ribbons you gave her.

As she pulls away the paper, she lets out a soft gasp and breaks into the brightest smile you’ve ever seen.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” She squeals, pulling you into a tight hug.

You laugh with her as her father peers over your shoulder at the illustrated box in Lillian’s hands.

“What is… Dungeons and Dragons?”

She would have loved my friends now, you thought as you sit up, only to rest the back of your head against your seat.

The grief was never going to leave you, no matter how hard you tried. Ever since that night, you’ve felt cursed. Like anyone who came too close to you would be signing their death sentences.

Wiping away your tears, you stare out into the darkness as the headlights illuminated the path in front of you. You vaguely remembered seeing a telephone box up ahead and so, with a reluctant sigh, you get out of you car and begin walking.

Your arms hugged your sides tightly once you were fully aware how late it was. The dark surrounded you as you fell further from the safety of your car, your feet forcefully taking you further. Once the light behind you vanished, you cursed under your breath. You just needed to make one phone call to Jack and you’d be out of this mess.

Another step and your eyes catch a glint of light up ahead. As you get closer, the light splits into two, shining onto the telephone box beside it. Another car. Frowning, you cautiously walk over.

“Please don’t be a murderer.” You chant with whispers, taking deep breaths to calm your nerves.

Approaching the car only resulted in disappointed. Steam was leaving the engine and you sigh. You weren’t the only break down tonight. But then you notice the cracked windscreen and only when you step back do you realise you recognise the car. Your breath is caught in your throat as you stare, every worst scenario running through your mind.

It was Billy’s car.

Chapter 3: A Bad Feeling ->

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[teamdarkweek]

Let us consult the text of origin together:

My thoughts under the cut, but you can just enjoy the video.

General observations:

Let us never forget Rouge's wings are pink here. In sa2 they were black, they have since been purple. I think it's possible she covers her wings in some kind of think fabric or latex to match her outfits and maybe protect her - but primarily for the matchy matchy

In the shiny toy-ish style of heroes, Omega looks incredible. He looks so much better than everyone else.

Team Dark take in turns to be the most determined; it genuinely feels to me like they all do want this. Nobody is just in it for the loyalty or ride.

Team Dark should get to fight Team Rose. I would love them to duke it out with the Girl Scout commander and his two most loyal members.

Opening Cutscene:

First let us appreciate: Rouge just broke in to Eggman's again. Iirc she inserts herself into SA2 basically the same way. Plot driving queen.

It is odd to me that Rouge had no idea what she was finding, but did know the code. This 'happening upon' Shadow has always seemed strange to me and I am suspicious of it. It seems to me they might have wanted her to be looking for him, but bottled it at the last chance. Especially because she doesn't seem to be working for GUN here, this is just very convenient.

Omega is legitimately scary when he's first introduced, with a lot of the hallmarks of classic horror monsters in this first sighting of him (the close ups, the prey-through-predators eyes shot, all the action shots to keep you confused, minimal speaking etc.. I have no statement on this, it's just neat.

It must be quite a traumatising thing to wake up to, but Shadow takes little time to react. I really like that he doesn't recognize his name when Rouge says it.

It is weird to me Rouge just sits in shock at being shot. Was she not expecting a trap? Perhaps she got hit in the head or something?

Omega's aiming just before Rouge splits them up is so funny. I said I wouldn't use screenshots so this post doesn't become too slow to load but look at this:

His hands just circle around wildly. Shadow is going straight for you. Either you're not aiming for him or you're not calibrated correctly my love.

Rouge's exhausted and shocked face is adorable and I love it so so so much. This is peak Rouge IMO

The fact we see Eggman's base trashed - loudly trashed - and he does nothing about it could be a first nod at his current predicament we see in the Chaotix story, but I may be reaching.

I love the start of the chorus as they're coming to an understanding. I love This Machine, maybe more than I love my boyfriend but not more than I love my cat. It's so up there though.

Rouge bounced Shadow off Imega when she scooped him over and he rebounds into a defensive stance. No notes just cute.

Shadow's eye roll as she makes them all put hands together. You just woke up how are you so sassy? Amazing. No notes.

The actual skipped conversation must have been quite short, since Shadow knows nothing and Omega is a new robot, but I hope it included Omega inteoducing himself at least a bit. They don't say his name in this cutscene, or Rouge's but the audience probably knows her. Its just odd to me because I feel like team sonic say eachothers name a lot, but my memory may be faulty.

Seaside Hill + Ocean Palace + Egg Hawk

"Immediate destruction if distracted." Omega fully threatens to kill them if they don't work hard enough. I am not complaining, but he is a scary boy and we should remember this.

We should have known this wasn't Eggman because he reacts to Omega (an obvious E series robot) and not Shadow (a literal living weapon he had had locked away that should not be walking around). But me personally was a dumb kid who was too bad at video games to get to play team darks story before I had to go home so here we are.

Grand Metropolis + Power Plant + TC

Rouge has the least reason to be targetting Eggman, but she is quite determined here. I would suppose it is on behalf of Shadow, since she doesn't know Omega that well to be heart broken for his plight. It's nice to see that she too expresses her sentiment by violence, something often reserved in fanon for Omega and arguably Shadow.

Further to the above: she starts a fight with Team Chaotix literally and only because she is in a fighty mood. They were fr walking away, minding their own business. I also think that Espio's assumption that they might have it in for the client is valid, since they've probably been jumped by enemies of clients before. Rouge is literally just on a warpath and mad at the world. Iconic of her.

Casino Park + Bingo Highway + Robot Carnival

I do wonder what Rouge was wondering. If she was wrong, perhaps? Or what the Chaotix were doing? She couldn't suspect they're working for Eggman, could she?

Omega works in metres because he is no fool

Shadow is actually very calm talking to Eggman here. It suggests that either Rouge has not filled him in on anything much about Eggman, and/or he wants to learn for himself and isn't taking her and Omega's hatred at face value. This may make him seem a bit dozy here, but I actually think it's a sign of how untrusting he is, and with good reason. I have often seen the take that Rouge should have told him what's going on, but I propose that it is possible she told him some, he didn't believe her easily, and so she stopped telling him before the crazier stuff, because he'd never believe that. A bit of a leap I know.

Rail Canyon + Bullet Station + Egg Albatross:

This is the first time I think Shadow seems really determined. I propose it's because Eggman snubbed and disregarded him, and that is literally a tortuable offense. Joking aside, it's nice to hear the change in his voice now he's more set on his target.

Rouge is less sure of herself now. Tbh, it's probably been a really stressful day for her. She may need a rest.

Shadow offering Omega his revenge instead of fighting him for it is a nice touch. What a good team player!

Omega's shaking fist at the fake Eggman gets me. I love it. It's so ott and goofy but also a great way to communicate with his limited face.

The Shadow Android scene is actually quite frightening, like with Omega's introduction it has a little touch of horror. Imagine how you'd feel, if it were my android clone I would feel pretty nauseous and scared.

'Ultimate Life Form Data' - Metal answers the question of 'is Shadow a Robot?' As soon as it was asked, but nobody has ever listened to Metal Sonic about anything, and they aren't about to start today 🥰❤️. But did Metal know what Shadow was? We presume it had seen the Shandroids, and knew they weren't him, otherwise Metal would have just copied one of them.

(Frog Forest + Lost Jungle) + TS

"Talk about being stubborn and full of surprises" is so uncalled for from Shadow's perspective. He's never met this guy, how dare he read him like that.

This fight is so stupid, I almost believe it's just them being friendly. You know Sonic's pretty freaked out at seeing Shadow again, but I have had kittens before and sometimes they just have to show their excitement with biting. I think this might be that? Because Rouge left no particularly bad blood with Sonic. Now if she and Knuckles started it, I would understand the hostility, but Shadow and Sonic totally start this one.

Do you think Sonic felt bad that he went straight in to fight Shadow when Shadow fully just had no facts in his head to help him make good choices? I'd feel bad lol.

Hang Castle + Mystic Mansion + Robot Storm

Shadow tefuses to answer Rouge's question then proceeds to loudly answer it to himself with her just metres away. Keep being you, Shadow.

I like that they refer to Omega to ask if it's the real one, even though he can't - nice team trust moment.

Egg Fleet + Final Fortress + Egg Emperor

'Even if I'm not real - I'm still the Ultimate Life Form' resolving Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) before it even begins. In seriousness, it's quite a contradictory statement, probably because he doesn't know much about what that means. Has Rouge told him? We haven't seen someone explain that in the cutscenes, so I presume so.

Rouge immediately turning away from Eggman's body is so funny to me. 'K cool bye'

The first time I'd forgiven her not seeing that it was clearly Shadow in the goo. But Rouge, come on now. Why would they all be the exact same alien goo container with a spiky starshaped thing in them? You have seen Shadow Android. This shock is not necessary.

Why is there not enough goo to cover the ears? They can hear you guys.

'Hey Omega, did I ever tell you that Shadow is a Robot? And, well, nevermind - good luck." ARE YOU TRYING TO GET HIM KILLED? I also have to presume she genuinely believes this here. It's such a weird line.

Omega is so smart. He has been dumbed down of late, but he's not stupid anywhere here. It is perfectly reasonable to assume that the one kept separately with it's own guard robot is at least more important than all these mass stored without an E unit dedicated to protecting it.

"Some things never change, do they?" How would you know? Did she tell you this? That's such a funny portrait of herself for Rouge to paint. Forever unsuccessfully trying to steal chaos and master emeralds, generally predisposed to being rude and disobedient? Or did he just observe that himself.

They leave it off like Omega may not be a recurring character from here. I wonder if they weren't sure if he'd be liked, since in SA2 they killed off a character that ended up being the most popular thing they'd made since the series began. Nobody is competing with Shadow's cult fanbase, but I wish more people like me loved big robot boy.

#shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e-123 omega #team dark #text post #video #long post #Youtube