#bc some of their plays and the way they defend dont really make sense all the time but it's within the rules
I’m fascinated with the op hockey au and ur art that goes with it and was wondering what would the marines be… like would they be refs or rules officials or judges? Like hardly anyone likes the marines and nobody likes rules officials/judges.
asking cause they’re a couple good marines (Koby, Rosinante and Belle Mere)
i mentioned this a little bit in this post but it boils down to them just being generally scattered around sports and sports-adjacent jobs.
i thought mb akainu would be a ref that screws over/directly causes ace injury during a whitebeards vs pirates game; garp works in media (not sports) but doesn't really like the notion that all his kids and grandkids are in pro sports lol; and koby & helmeppo are a rookie espn sports journalism duo (writer + cameraman) that interned at garp's media company for a while before changing to espn (garp was exasperated about it haha). but ye, the marines would be scattered as judges and rules officials and people on the olympics committee, etc etc.
i said nami would be a marketer or mb a sportscaster, so i think it'd be cute if belle-mère did something similar in her day, annndddd idk about cora. i made croc mihawk's manager but i have no idea what doffy would do and how cora would play into all that. would love to hear if anyone's got any ideas tho!
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i just read your bottom mike points and its the most sense ive ever read on that topic, considering im a top mike truther. not so much dom mike, cos i think theyre equals, but your thing about mike chiling and come down to wills level was interesting. it makes me wonder how these dynamics would have played out if there was never this supernatural threat... i got the sense that mike still always led, because of how he approached will on the swings, and their little bickers in the whole group even, outside of monster stuff (like the ghostbusters venkman thing). mike being the de facto leader, soft version when with will, seemed like something that had simply always been. he's soft with will, but usually when he thinks will needs caring for. when will isnt in danger, i dont think mike is soft or chill necessarily. so its interesting that you see a matured, grown-into-himself and secure mike as 'chilling'.
and lastly, if they both come down and meet on this equal level of softness, how is that still evidence of mike being a sub? surely that would make them both soft vers?
but your points did make sense and i like that there are some bottomsub mike people out there who dont just see him as a babygirl
all really fair points anon!!
i think it’s just the way i see it or prefer, i guess? i don’t think i ever claimed that theres evidence of mike being a sub, since i’m of the strong belief that there’s no evidence for their sexual dynamic at all.
it’s really just how i prefer to think about it if i had to pick my favorite dynamic or what i’d lean towards when i’m writing.. lmao i think we’re pretty much on the same page tho, since i’m also a top mike truther who thinks they’re equals. so, sure, soft vers is a great description - but my personal preference is that mike is perfectly fine submitting to whatever will says and (for the reasons i said) will is perfectly fine not only asking for what he wants but also taking care of mike bc he wants mike to feel so good (which there is huge evidence for in s4). i’m not forcing others to see it this way, it’s just what i like 🥲 (also i should note that this isn’t the only dynamic i like when thinking of byler concepts, i like it all 😮💨 but when talking about which part of their canon dynamic is most satisfying/realistic to me i guess?)
(but i’d rather not have more people come to my inbox saying ‘well what you’re describing is actually still dom mike,’ because to me it’s not. i don’t see him that way as a default/usual assumed dynamic for them.)
to address what you said about mike’s behaviors being more dominant-leaning even outside of supernatural stuff, i guess my stance is that you can’t really separate it? like the way he was in s2 from the start was bc he felt crazy about el being alive or not. and him being the softer version with will is yes bc he has a sense of feeling like he’s taking care of someone, ((((((which i could argue isn’t a traditionally masc role but i won’t)))))) but also because it’s a safe place for him. i agree with you that he is 1000% the de facto leader of their group. he also paralleled joyce a lot in s1 with his persistence in getting will back and getting the others on board, while also being the gentlest and most nurturing of the boys with eleven.
what i love about mike is that he isn’t a violent person, like, at all - and it’s shown in the times that he does try and defend himself/others - it’s unnatural. i love that he can be the leader who people look to for guidance but not because he demands it, he just is. he’s the quietest in the party when theyre at the arcade in s2. there’s a common theme of will trusting and confiding in him where he wouldn’t with others. themes of nurturing, safe haven, emotional intelligence, follow mike before the clear shift in s2-3 when things start to become unmanageable for him. there are a lot of things that set him apart from dustin and lucas in s1 as far as typical masc traits and how they treat el (especially noticeable with lucas, since he and mike have pretty similar motive to get will back).
as far as him not being soft or chill w will when he’s not in danger, i guess we’ll have to agree to disagree? i’m thinking about “another 90 miles, why” and the softness in his tone when theyre on the couch, before will discloses that 001 isn’t dead. demanding and aggressive isn’t his default in a comfort setting. it’s just something that’s easy to pick up on for me, something i enjoy exploring more of, and a cool thing about fanfiction is that ability to have different interpretations or see qualities in characters that you focus on more while others choose different ones to expound on.
i’ve always said i think it’s presumptuous to assume the mike we see, with his clear multitude of external pressures, is the one he’ll be years from now. (will too, but mike is the focus here). and it’s really not far fetched when you look at how he is in his earlier days that he’s softer than the typical boy and would likely level back to that when settled and regulated.
thanks for the ask & i’m glad my take made a little sense 🩵 i mostly end up word vomiting when it comes to the mike topic
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career anxiety which turned into existential dread which turned into me guiltily defending my use of stories as narrative framing devices for my own life & human existence as storytelling more broadly (smthn smthn sometimes you gotta be a little mentally unwell to be mentally well)
what is possibly the longest cringe worst thing ive ever put on this webbed site, but i gotta get it out in writing to clear my head and i type more quickly than i write and if there's a post length limit by god i'm gonna find out
with my deepest apologies if this readmore doesnt work
so we had a Big Fancy Meeting at work today, with a group of information professionals from an Outside Institution (some of whom i had met previously), and which i got to sit in on/play tech support for, which was all fine and well for the actual presentation portion of the event, but afterwards when it was informal chatting and the like it was just???
The following things are true:
i actually got to speak with people close-ish to my age and in my profession
it was a very nice and enjoyable experience and we got to talk both seriously about professional things and also jokingly shoot the shit about shared woes with this one outdated archival software that everyone under the age of 60 hates with a passion
i was also incredibly jealous of this group of archivists & librarians because they're all /friendly/ with each other and i am lonely being the youngest person at work
i am also jealous because theyre working on very exciting projects at A Big Institution with Actual Resources and Technology and PROCEDURES my beloved, and not the slapdash kinda thing going on at my work
this in turn made me anxious because there were certain elements of the conversation i couldn't follow and i worry about my professional development at my current job, and that my technical skills are either atrophying, or not growing in a way that would enable me to get hired at A Big Institution like this one (which is the ultimate goal)
this in turn made me more stressed about my current job, which i just got promoted to fulltime permanent for the following
beyond the skill atrophy fear there is also the fact that my boss is grooming me to be her successor when she retires in 5 yrs and i very Much Do Not Want to be here in 5 years
this adds several layers of guilt
i was just promoted so im getting really sweet messages of congrats from random ppl in other departments who i didnt even think knew/care i existed - the people at this workplace are extremely nice, even if im like. meh. about some of the work/procedures/etc
a large part of my promotion being approved hinged on the fact that im undertaking this big technical project that my boss doesnt have the technical know-how to do. so i cant just bail and leave them high and dry without feeling guilt. but also. it's not so fancy a project that someone else couldnt do it. anyone in my field worth their salt and not super old should be able to handle it. sure i work hard and im friendly, but surely that's not that rare in an employee
i dont even KNOW if there's better opportunities out there. but i see stuff on the listserv all the time, and assuming i could land those jobs, they pay better and are at larger orgs and more in line with what i want
there is an element to working non-profit adjacent that is guilt inducing as well as [redacted thing about my work that would make me feel even guiltier for leaving, i cannot say what, but it is Significant]
this of course, tapped into my larger, ongoing sense of ennui and being 'stuck' and fears about unchosen monotony and purposelessness and all that mid 20s recent grad existential bullshit. i cant really do anything to solve it bc yknow, unprecedented housing crisis, rent is insane, im stuck living in a dysfunctional household which traumatized me as a child, etc etc etc. but broadly:
i am afraid of being stuck in a mediocre job forever. my boss has worked for two (2) archives her whole life and has always done non-profit adjacent work and is like. a one man small archive thing. i VERY MUCH DO NOT WANT THAT
i feel guilty for wanting
idk how to want things or be a person (separate issue), but i know very much what i want career wise. i know what makes me happy and satisfied. and i know what im good at. im doing fine at my current job but i know i could be so much MORE and i want that desperately
if my personal life is always doomed to be dismal, as is my family life, can i at least have one thing
i gave up academia for my mental health and some degree of financial stability, can i at least satisfy SOME of my ambitions here?? just a few??
yes this is pride. yes this is ambition. just bc i spent so long extremely depressed and with 0 self esteem does not make me immune to ambition, even if non traditional.
i feel immense guilt over this but i dont stop wanting it
ofc, my brain is a web, all existence is inextricably interconnected, and im listening to the tge audiobook on my commute and rotating csevet in my brain, thara is more personal, more beloved maybe, but csevet is my fave lil guy babygirl and i have a thing for fantasy secretaries, so i am now thinking even MORE of ambition, and how i have it, and how i love that im good at this one complex but boring thing, i am thinking of kip mdang, of kamet, of muire lo, of how some of my deepest loves, in no particular order, include: organization and scheduling, devotion, competency, well-ordered policies and procedures, righteous anger, boring skills being used to change the world for good, small kindnesses, Duty, loyalty to a person or ideal which goes beyond the functional and the expected and which extends into unprecedented levels of intimacy - whether it be friendship, qprs, romance, etc, and also, metadata and research
so. as i sit there sorting this all out in my brain i am like. wow you are a pathetic human being. you are not even a person. like. why is everything being framed in terms of narrative and story. why does everything relate to a Broader Theme or Arc or Meaning.
i am forcibly reminded of being undiagnosed, unmedicated, aged 18/19 and trying to explain smthn really personal about myself to someone i knew from youth group and him being like. wow. you describe everything and relate to everything from stories.
to this day i live in embarassment over this moment. but also. lowkey. fuck him. and tradcath circles be WILD, the social dynamics BAD, and it was not the place for me to be, even tho i latched on to it lacking any other social contact at the time. if a complete mental breakdown, latent OCD, and a really painful loss of friends is what it took to get me out. like. i cant say i dont regret the loss, but also, i like who im becoming much better now
ANYWAY. i got thinking about stories and why i am and am not extremely cringe
i am a big believer in storytelling is the oldest human activity. it's the most fundamental human activity. this isn't some nihilistic devaluing of the human person, the soul, the human experience, it is instead and elevation of the story. because like. stories are what we do to live. it's why we live. it's how we communicate. storytelling is how we turn to another person and we attempt to communicate the innermost secrets of our heart. language is a flawed tool always ultimately falling short. but we use stories to share ourselves with each other, to be recognized and known, and throughout the ages, to share our grief and love, to know to oneself, no, i'm not the only one, others have experienced this before too. stories are balms and inspirations and are ultimately reflections of their creators, they reflect some Truth about the human experience back to us
im not even talking like. published stories. tv shows. mcu ification of media. i mean /stories/. in whatever form. from whatever time. this isn't a fandom thing - though there is overlap, im not talking about consumption for the sake of consumption, or consumption as a personality trait
i mean like. stories as the bedrock of humanity because it is the only way we can attempt to understand ourselves. stories are foundational because the human person is too complex, having too much of the image of the divine in it, to ever be really fully successfully understood. and so of course. of course we turn to stories in times of trouble, and triumph, and all the times in between. how could we not turn to stories to attempt the divine understanding that is always ultimately beyond us?
(i have a whole other locked and loaded series of thoughts on storytelling in faith traditions, and specifically how the bible is a literary work as well as a spiritual one, and the reasons for this reflected in the human soul, but i digress)
so really. maybe i am pathetic and cringe and a fake not real person (i am all of those things), but i hope it's not because i think in stories, in themes, in arcs. everything is tangled in my brain, inextricable, i can do nothing else, i know nothing else, i would not want anything else, unless it were the full divine understanding beyond mortal means
and besides. i am trying. to be better. to be more. to have comforts and hobbies beyond this. the crafting. the cooking. the career ambitions that arose when i found something that i was good at and enjoyed and was /me/. my insatiable need to learn to dance.
i dont know where im going with this. i barely know where i started. it's stories all the way down, because it's people all the way down, and we are all mirrors of each other and we are all connections with each other in a vast caring world. or. so i like to think
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oh? (<- curious abt your pathfinder character)
[heavy breathing] oh my god you dont even know the brain worms I have for this character. they dont have a name (they have a name ive been calling them for simplicity but its not like their actual canon name, I just needed something quick for the oneshot I played them in to try pathfinder) but theyre like one of my favorite ocs I have. oh my god. so theyre a catfolk, theyre a tuxedo cat, and this didnt get explored at all in the oneshot I played but their backstory is 'reflection.' meaning that they literally got magically pulled out of a mirror. like oh my god. their background is acrobat, technically. their class eventually becomes swashbuckler. The 'original', the person theyre a replica of, worked in a circus as an acrobat and tightrope walker and such. My pathfinder character got pulled out of a mirror in the hall of mirrors. can you imagine. you are just quite literally pulled into existence, you dont know by what, you dont know where you are, you've never been alive before, you've never thought before, you look like an adult bc youre an imperfect replica of someone who was, but you've never existed until now, and you just have to fucking deal with that??? so for like 3 months they stay living and working at the circus, because where else are they supposed to go?? they dont know anything else!!
im not entirely sure what happens with this part of the lore yet, but they either get framed for killing their original, or the original goes missing or something, something happens and it makes replica look really suspicious, and so its kind of the last straw, and they decide to leave and become their own person and explore the world. this is where the swashbuckler class becomes a thing.
At some point along the way, theyre given or steal or something a sword called a 'bastard sword', and bastard swords are called that because they have no 'family' as far as swords go. well guess what, my character doesnt either.
They have a really hard time for a while, obviously they havent been around for a long time to learn social cues or anything, and theyre forced to learn rather quickly that people dont take kindly to reflections.
ive been trying to decide whether or not they themself have a reflection, because on one hand I like the idea of it being a detail for other people to notice that something is up, and like it makes sense, they were the reflection of course they dont have one of their own, but also like it would be equally as angsty and cool for them to have a reflection and to constantly be having the existential crisis about 'thats a person in there. I was in there.' and people would probably make fun of them for being 'confused' about mirrors but no, there is so much to unpack there
the art potential this character has is so so so much to me, either waking up your first moment of sentience either being surrounded by empty mirrors, not knowing what a mirror is anyway to know you even should have a reflection, or your first moments of sentience being surrounded by copies yourself, in a room where you are aware that they are people just as much as you are, that they are you but simultaneously a replica of you and the existential issues of that oh my god
I need to draw them in a jesters costume or something and just make angst about them being 'the fool' or other assorted circus themed angst because my god I have brainwork's about this character you dont even know
Fun fact about them: one of the errors in their being a replica is that they dont have claws, they were copied without them, and so just imagine you are brought into a world entirely unfamiliar to you, you dont know who or what or where you are, and you dont even have a way to defend yourself. everyone in the world who is like you naturally has a way to defend themself, except you, who arguably needs it the most. just another way that you were a mistake.
(part 1 this got too long and it wont let me post, part 2 in reblogs)
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ive been really wanting to get into metal gear lately and i noticed you draw art for it, do you know where i should start??
HIIII 💙 YES . this is the playlist but Ok so I know it may seem intimidating at first, I thought it was too when I started watching it a few months ago, but it was so easy to get rlly into that It stopped feeling so massive! I watched the first two games (“metal gear” 1 & 2 (not to be confused with metal gear *solid* 1 & 2)) but I don’t think they are a great place to start watching for attention span’s sake. Especially bc everything in them is retconned later on, but the summery IS still important so I’ll put like that for you before you start getting to the starting point under the cut:
MG1: The first Metal Gear game follows Solid Snake, a rookie of the FOXHOUND special operations unit. He is sent by his superior Big Boss to the fortress in South Africa known as Outer Heaven, with the goal of finding the missing squad member Gray Fox and investigating a weapon known as Metal Gear. Big boss was secretly the leader of a terrorist nation state. Big boss was holding nuclear weapons/robots ready to threaten the world with, he wanted to make an independent military nation for soldiers to be free. Snake defeats Big Boss in the last battle and escapes the Outer Heaven compound as it crumbles in flames behind him. After the end credits, a message from Big Boss is displayed saying that he will meet Solid Snake again. (You may think this is confusing since he died in the fires, but it’ll make sense way later LOL)
MG2: Set in 1999, a few years after the events of the original game. Solid Snake must infiltrate a heavily defended territory known as Zanzibar Land to rescue a kidnapped scientist and destroy the revised "Metal Gear D". Snake faces off against Gray Fox in Metal Gear D and eventually destroys the mech. Both men later fight hand-to-hand in a minefield, and Snake finishes him off. (because greyfox had remained loyal to Big Boss.) also Kaz Miller, FOXHOUND’s survival consultant also sided against Big Boss during the Zanzibar Land Disturbance, in favor of Solid Snake (this is just letting u know solid snake and miller were familiar and mutually respecting since he is in mgs1) As you can imagine this entire “i was tricked into helping a nuclear development and had to kill my bro” bummed solid snake out. So by MGS1 (METAL GEAR *SOLID* 1) he is a legendary solider who repeatedly has tried to retire.
Congrats! Now you can start watching, if you’d like to play them most of the games are accessible on the xbox and such but I watched most of them on YouTube. Skip metal gear 1 & 2 (THE FIRST TWO THT DONT HAVE “SOLID” IN THE TITLE) and start from this sequence onward (its already in order on the playlist dw i just wanna diagram it:
Metal Gear Solid -> Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty -> Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (this is a Big Boss centered prequel very important) -> Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (ends Solid Snake’s Story timeline) -> Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (continues the prequel story that continues onward from this point) Metal Gear Solid Ground Zeroes (this is a short game demo that sets up the main setting of Phantom Pain. also TW on this one for very detailed torture tactics..) -> METAL Gear Solid: The Phantom Pain (end of series)
they made another game but kojima left the making of MGS Rising which is pretty irrelevant (2 me) but takes place during the Solid snake and co.’s timeline. but I haven’t played it yet/ it’s spotty in canon-ness
i sooo so recommend mgs, it helps if u know whats happening in its real world counterpart (our real world rn) because its a rlly fun game thats all abt how war is a terrible thing in many ways. but its also a game tht doesnt take itself too seriously and thats why i love it sm too, it keeps you smiling and laughing at how crazy all the characters act and how silly some of the situations are. most ppl hate mgs for that reason but i think its such a specific brand of goofy that it makes it an unforgettable experience. for example: solid snake has a rant where he explains bisexual men dont rlly care what a homophobe would think of them. kojima is canon god. big boss believes in santa clause. people are named stuff like deep throat. its insane.
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I am asking about heypetekey drama.
okay there's,,, so much here. chris himself has said that this whole thing is only abt 75% true but i'm putting it all under the cut anyway FDHSJKFDSK it's also not really,,, heypetekey drama it's like petekey + chris who's in lvoe with mikey but also pete and chris definitely kinda have a gay thing drama. i don't know what i'm saying anyways
this isn't like. i'm sure some of this won't make sense if you don't already have background knowledge of them but i'm Hoping it kinda might if not. idk dig up the petekey masterpost or something
anyways so heychris had a girlfriend and her name was heykate and pete slept with her bc?!?!? idk!
so chris posts this thing on his livejournal about it!
an open letter to pete wentz.
it takes a lot to make me mad.
it takes even more to infuriate me.
so, after all this time i finally learned the truth. that it was you telling my ex girlfriend lies and secrets. despite even giving you the pass card after i caught you trying to talk dirty to her online, this is how you repay me? no wonder why you couldnt look me in the eye on the bus last summer and no wonder why you avoided me every chance you got.
you hug me and tell me you love me then you tell lies to my girlfriend behind my back to lure her away from me? you tell her i cheat on her and then you tell me to come stay on the bus?
you are a spineless fucking sham.
i regret every second i spent defending you and your selfish ways.
dont forget, i know you. not that shitty glammed up poser image you present to the masses to consume. the dude i knew never would have worn a fucking dinosaur shirt or sold out one of his friends. the dude i knew had heart and fucking loyalty. well lil buddy, you are fucking done.
you want to sell me out to the most important person in my life and then have the audacity to make ME think I did something wrong to not deserve your friendship? you fucking arrogant bastard.
since we’re discussing sellouts lets discuss how when kids give you presents you laugh at them and throw it straight in the trash. oh yeah, ive seen it many times. lets talk about how you talk shit about the fat girls that are your fans and mock their letters. you are fucking undeserving of every ounce of attention you’ve ever gotten. from every one of your calculated business moves to your “spontaneous” jumps in the crowd parts to your well rehearsed cliche lines you’ve been spouting for 400 shows in a row. you’re boring, contrived and old. “oooh, no one loves me, its sooo hard being on magazine covers and tv shows. someone save me from me.” what are you, fucking 12? go light your little candles ask yourself why no one will ever truly love you. its amazing no one has caught on to your little fucking show. you’re nothing more than a shitty opportunist business man with even shittier fashion sense.
so pack up and move to whatever million dollar house you’ve picked out in california paid for by your lies and hypocrisy and deceit and selfishness and over medicate yourself like youve been doing for years…because guess what? no one wants you here anymore. you are not welcome.
oh yeah, hows that straight edge tattoo doing? as well as the tattoo for your “crew” who now refer to you as a fraud and a con? stay gold dude, stay gold.
remember this each night of the tour when you play the lie, “hey chris, you were our only friend.”
downplay it all you want by saying the song is about “friends”, but guess whos fucking name you’re saying each and every night? mine. thats right. what a bunch of fucking phonies. sing the songs you dont even believe in anymore. fucking liar.
you know the friends i have and you know how we feel about loyalty.
you know who im talking about and you know they’re not happy either.
so dont get caught slipping and you better make damn sure you watch whos on your guest list because a plus one might come backstage to punch your fucking teeth out and tear the windpipe from your throat.
you fucking sell out.
oh, and next time you decide to write another song about me, do it right you fucking coward.
so uh. pete replies on the fall out boy lj. and like,,,, you can imagine how awful that must've been for chris
oh what a monster we’ve created.
when i am called by my manager to read a post that is burning through the internet it makes me wonder. ive never responded to rumours or shittalking online, no matter who it came from- at the same time there is nothing that makes my blood boil more than reading this- being who i am, my first instinct is to blow it off- but then i consider how anytime anything is written on the internet people believe its true- no matter what, no matter the biases or subjectivity of the sources. my first instinct is to lash out- to say everything i think about you and every situation- to defend myself and attack you. as unbelievable as it is- i am an extremely insecure person- everytime i read something about myself negative or positive i react in probably the exact same way anyone would.
but like i said- i am going to continue to do this my own way, what i consider to be the higher road. i understand when we get angry we often lash out- ive done it myself on many occassions. if you want to talk to me about any of this call me on my cell phone and we can do it one on one-
i will not be responding to anything else-
however, the attacks about our fans and the people that listen to this music and read these words is completely offbase- the fans of this band are my entire life- ive lost my girlfriend, my friends, much of my “normal” life- just to keep this relationship going- this isn’t to say that i dont make mistakes, take misteps. just because youve seen me on tv or at a show doesn’t make me anything less or more than human. you dont ever see the other side of the way we agonize over every decision we make or try our best to please everyone- because we’ve given up in bands before and we know how it feels and we dont want that to happen. everyone in the band is upset about this- remember everyone that makes up fall out boy- they all wanted me to voice that we appreciate our fans and friends that weve met more than anything- and that we realize because of where we are all the arrows are pointed at us- but we will try our best. and we do try our best. we also, have far more faith in the intelligence and dedication of the people that believe in us to think that they will be swayed easily. if you want to hear other stories of how we actually talk about our fans or think of them please ask other bands, they will testify to how we really act. we just want you to know that in four years when noone cares, we still hope you are there. im not going to freak out or whatever, but please an attack on our fans or our relationship with them as a p.r. move is uncalled for.
this doesn’t need to be reposted anywhere- i am sure that fob fans know where to find it.
chris if you want to talk the phone line is there.
i wrote this pretty fast so i apologize for the typos and run-ons.
until then, thank you to everyone who reserves judgment and has my back until the end of time.
- petey
(idk why that bit formatted weird sorry)
so chris replies again on a different journal i think?
heterolifemates.
i wont lie. i hate being this dude.
i wish it wouldnt have come to this but goddamn, hes right.
no one knows how to break a heart like he does.
which comes across as weirdly gay but shrug. and around now is peengate. chris denies doing it but the timing lines up Really nicely. and like. i don't know getting publicly humiliated by a band that's BLOWING UP? when you weren't even in the wrong? also i'm fairly sure that pete sending chris nudes was like,,, a thing since i think he offered them for help fixing his printer once?! yeah idk
and nowww mikeyway gets involved! hoping you've got like background knowledge on petekey and what went on summer 2005 if not,, i mean you could ask me too o.o FDSHJFDS sorry if i get tinhatty around here too
anyways
chris said he "went to california and fell for a boy who had a girlfriend" and then literally RIGHT AFTER. posted these
and then pete does this
shrugs
so pete and chris weren't friends but they were still friends with each other's friends and i'm fairly sure they're like,, on good terms again but definitely not best friends or anything
in 2013 chris said "But I still do have a crush on Mikey."
this year. 2022. chokes and dies.
do you know how normal i have to be about these images anon.
also earlier this year or maybe last year? idk but chris commented on one of mikey's posts i think getting mad he never came to the catcade (chris's cat cafe!) when he went to chicago (fic potential just sayin)
um the end probably for now :thumbsup: i left some bits out but ! ehhgjgndnj
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MANAGER!SEIJOH AU
a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
anon:
- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛
- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn
EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD
okayokayokay
so this is a what if thing
like what if ushijima was your older brother
SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING
you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom
you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother
this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in
duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him
he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two
then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved
mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house
thats what brought on your love for volleyball
you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him
but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it
you liked whatever your brother liked
he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you
especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream
even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height
‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’
*insert lenny face*
AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF
CAN I PLEASE DIE
however
when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi
like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father
you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him
so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child
lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi
yall youre like 5
i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time
in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt
maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again
you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too
she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection
your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something
you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway
the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study
‘tadaima’
you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice
‘oh? y/n?’
his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand
your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there
your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago
as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking
they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that
you and your friends are like 12 tf
you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot
‘hey, papa’
you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin
‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’
you nodded
there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop
the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man
your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in
‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’
oh god of course you did
they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!
with old coach ukai
‘what did she do now?’
your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice
‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’
there was a smile in your face
your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess
she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family
obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother
‘so when are we going back?’
you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school
takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news
‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’
nah bro you didnt even care about the last part
literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked
‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’
and thus brought you back to japan
you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life
OH
your BROTHER!
okay
so waka-chan def heard you coming back
your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there
‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’
LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO
there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact
however
there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him
but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!
he would do anything in his power to do so!
when you arrived
your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around
in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’
okay wait i love grandma usui
you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms
‘nana’
you sobbed and she hugged you tightly
‘im so happy youre back home’
your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home
old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay
the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself
‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’
your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room
‘nii-chan’
you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms
you ran into them and he held you tightly
‘i missed you. so much’
he whispered and you nodded
it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again
oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young
so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you
duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her
polite but distant
due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp
there
you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun
and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend
the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu
but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful
lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap
during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager
goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY
him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well
he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately
LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI
‘y/n-chan!’
‘y/n-chan!’
‘y/n-chan!’
hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you
tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now
ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?
‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’
you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick
‘there once was a man with-’
lets just say
you were definitely your brother’s sister
sometimes though
you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki
you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing
they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength
‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’
‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’
you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<
‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’
duh a compliment from a girl?
dead
shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him
this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done
semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america
‘did you see celebrities down the street?’
he asked you excitedly one day during lunch
you stopped then smiled softly
‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’
nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities
OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI
taichi is a generally quiet guy
like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him
but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice
usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning
you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym
‘kawanishi-san?’
you called out and felt guilty when he jumped
‘oh, hey’
he aknowledged
‘wha-’
you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes
‘what are you doing?’
you tiredly asked
taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height
‘im training early’
he answered
‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’
you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression
‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’
taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart
‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’
he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin
‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’
you reasoned
he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair
‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’
yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you
usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball
maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary
his game face was practically a mean face
basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school
duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them
but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki
‘WHHYYYY!!!!’
‘NOOO!!!!!’
‘why can’t you?’
semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it
‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’
oh right
the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system
it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago
since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum
‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’
tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm
‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’
oh dear
USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA
they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter
‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’
uhhh
well
tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager
hehe
surprise?
but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team
even as a manager
meanwhile in seijohhh
OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~
okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name
therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!
you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1
and you still are their adorable baby manager
you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him
was it traitorous?
maybe
but you actually even help them when they practice
duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji
‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’
matsukawa commented and you just smiled
‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’
LMAO
little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under
there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up
BUT
you cant always be sneaky
it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting
you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly
‘TOMUTOMU!’
you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug
this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too
your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much
these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED
meanwhile
the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to
‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’
oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up
‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’
‘ill find her’
matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble
but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up
they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them
is that
you?
with
shi
ra
to
ri
za
wa
oh my god
‘y/n-chan!’
oikawa shouted, being the first to speak
you jumped and your own eyes widened
‘oh. oh no’
you mumbled
the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked
period
‘what is happening’
iwaizumi mumbled
yea the others were just shocked period
‘hey guys’
you waved and you motioned them closer
‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’
you smiled uneasily and they could see that
‘aaand?’
oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story
you sighed
‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’
you mumbled the last part
but they heard you
‘HAH?!’
you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them
‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’
you babbled
‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’
mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team
‘i came to the country late’
‘THE COUNTRY?!’
well,,
turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/
even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything
they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,
they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou
‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’
‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’
wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy
‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’
makki said and they nodded
it was true
you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team
so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka
you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile
‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’
watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus
‘yea. lets go home’
as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum
‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’
oikawa whined and pouted
but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head
‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’
oikawa didnt seem satisfied though
‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’
iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it
well
you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously
‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’
oikawa screamed
a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!
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Hello im a Tommy enthusiast who watched that one stream where he monologued to foolish for like hafe an hour bc i heard it was a cool stream or wtv to realize how much amazing character moments it had that barly anyone in this damn fandom is talking about so ill fucking do it
(Only after finishing this i realized i wrote 1.7k words LOL OOPS)
If u dont know what in talking about its this stream (apologies for linking a clips channel the actual vod on foolish's channel is deleted by now)
Also heads up /rp /dsmp every time i refer to someone here by name is their character unless stated otherwise bc writing c! Before every name Is tiring LOL
Also // suicidal idealization , death mentions
The conversation starts off with foolish and tommy mining for Wilbur, and foolish questions how simply mining will solve the problem to which Tommy reponds with "they dont get solved, do they? It just ends uo with some madman screaming 'Hes solved it!' And now look at him." And how he wants to "prevent the problem before it goes outta hand" something that clearly references Wilbur and his destruction of lmanburg, which paired with him collecting stone for Wilbur as the way to stop said problems he believes if he does anything he can for Wilbur and support him by his side enough this time around, that he wont do anything like thay again, which as im writing this makes be realize by doing that we learn hes blaming himself for what happened to Wilbur in November 16th and pogtopia and a whole, by not being enough for Wilbur in his mind.
The conversation continues, foolish off hand asks why would tommy want to stop Wilbur? Weren't they friends at some point? To which tommy leads foolish to lmanburg and tells him the story of the nation (how it was him and Wilbur's nation, how they made it to espace dream's iron fist and how they held an election "which puts your life on the line, which is good- if you're confident but- perhaps we were too confident", how they lost)
Tommy: "You know the phrase: 'treat other how you wanna be treated', foolish? People dont ever listen to it. Wilbur- he decided he wanted to be treated poorly so he treated everyone around him poorly "
This Tommy quote, to me at least, so so amazingly strong in conveying how understanding he is? To the world around him. Like-
I have not seen one person bring this quote up, and yet its (at least to me) shows such growth and understanding in Tommy i saw little to nothing like it in other streams. It shows he understands, he knew Wilbur didnt change just because, he knows he was struggling, that he thought everyone around him were againt him, were going to abandon him the first chance theyll get- and he thought he deserved it. So he, as a last way to defend himself against that, hurt them first, abandoned them first, so theyll see how much of a 'bad' person he was and take him out- and tommy saw right through that, possibly understanding it more after exile.
This next qoute was talked about much more but i still wanna bring it up
Foolish: "Do you believe in second chances?"
Tommy: "Oh, no I don't really believe that its not really a thing for me foolish its just that-" *sigh* "- i believe everyone has a little bit of good in then and this is not about giving him a second chance or a third chance- its not about *chances* foolish. Its about not giving up on the poeple you care about. "
Which. I mean. I dont know how healthy that mindset is, but comign from Tommy it makes so much sense.
Techno, tubbo, eret, sapnap. These are all people Tommy used to be extremely close to, had either a war or had been betrayed by them, and yet still found it in his heart that he still cares for them, with all of these, they did horrendous things, that hurt tommy physically and mentally, while also not being once or twice, but a contentious thing, but while tommy is to this day still effected by their actions he still found it in himself to forgive, because he knows he fucked up too, a lot, and he knoes they learned from their mistakes just as he had (except c!techno FUCKKK c!techno mf doesnt learn SHITTT) and he knows, when the time comes he knows hed want the people he hurt to forgive him too. (And he wants Wilbur to do the same)
Next qoute i will cut to a couple parts because its really so good and full of character i had to bro
Foolish: "Do you consider yourself to be the good guy or the bad guy?"
Tommy: "It really depends who you ask, isn't it? Yknow? If you asked dream he'd say im *his little toy that he plays with* you know? It doesnt.."
This part really stunned me when i first heard it because, and correct me If im wrong, but i dont think tommy ever acknowledged how dream sees him, and how right he has his viewpoint too. Just the fact tommy is so *painfully* aware of how dream doesnt even see him as a person anymore but just a toy to mess around with for a while than just throw it away when it get too boring really hurt me. Someone give this kid a hug
(Continued) Tommy: "...foolish, honestly? I used to consider myself 'the good guy', you know? The fuckin'- second in command! But these past- these past like six months or so, foolish, everything got so much harder than it was before. Because before it was just us vs bad guys, it was all so clear! But- its not been 'clear' for so long, right? It wasn't; 'these are the bad guys! These are the good guys!' Now it's : 'he's doing this and it makes him a bit worse-' i mean, it all got so complicated, so- i don't know. Depends who you ask."
He says this, in response to foolish asking if hes a good guy- but its awfully similar to if Wilbur asked him if they were the bad guys. Because foolish just asked about him, and yet in his answer tommy made sure to keep using the words "us, he's, guys" as if hes not really talking about himself, as if hes explaining how Wilbur was wrong. Which he was. Also something interesting ive noticed, he says "the last 6 months or so", which indicated that with Wilbur he knew better to follow his word and leadership- with Wilbur he was always on the right side but when he lost him he felt much more lost alone, and couldn't trust himself enough to be on the "right side" .
Foolish: "I dont know, it all seems strange because just from, you know- hearing from others and, you know, learing a little bit, its seems like you've been the hero, you've been the villain, the conqueror, the savior, and, even now, i have no idea what you exactly are."
Tommy: "that's up to you to decide, isn't it? Im just- *uh* i dont know. These days, foolish, I'm a little weaker than i used to be"
Foolish couldn't be more right with what he said, another example of this we see where a character acknowledges tommy never sticks to one thing us Charlie when calling him "tommy fron nowhere" which shows more how he cant stick to one thing, during the course of him on the server he had been friends and enemy with nearly everyone, been on pretty much all sides, and while never really intentionally, being in the center of conflict. When foolish says he doesnt know who tommy is anymroe at this point and all Tommy says in return is that "hes a little weaker than he used to be" does to show he misses who he used to be, with lmanburg, with Wilbur, when he knew who he was, now he doesn't know who he is anymore, but still so desperately want to be more demonstrated by the lines coming rigth after that one:
(Continued) Tommy: "..I'm not- I'm now who i want to be, but-"
Foolish: "Being honest with you, Tommy, that's the same case for me as well."
Tommy: "...heres the thing, foolish, unlike you i dont really have a choice. I have to try and be who i want to be, because if i dont, very bad things are gonna happen in this server. And now that Wilbur's back i can't- quite frankly *no one* can risk that. So i dont really have a choice."
Tommy want's to change- he wants to be better than he is now, to be closer to who he used to be, no matter how impossible that might be, but he also sees it as an immediate thing, he wants to change now, or asap, which is why hes collecting stone for Wilbur in the first place- old him would've done that with ease just because Wilbur asked and he wants to have that back so badly, asap. The way he talked about this reminded me of when he tried getting over his trauma stream before he went in the prison to kill dream: he knew he wasnt the best but he tried getting over that asap to go kill dream asap. He didnt wanna take the long road of years of healing and instead thought he could get over it just like that, and that experience clearly didnt teach him anything because now hes trying to slide back to the relationship he and Wilbur used to have and ignoring the drastic changes they both had plus the bad moments that were the reason they feel out in the first place, or maybe he knows, but at this point, after everything that happened to him and the server, he doesnt care anymore? He knows hes not the same he was and he'll never be the same, because thats not how it works, but his mentor, president, big brother is back after so long tommy felt so lost and alone he thinks maybe, this time around, with Wilbur, he could try and be better again.
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11 Anti LO Asks
1. I feel like RS shits on Artemis when I feel like she isn’t bad as everyone makes to be. When she meets persphone, her look on the pink goddess was she’s never had a chance to bend the rules or even live a little. She takes her to a party, let’s her meet her brother and their friend, normal stuff. She didn’t have mind powers to know what Apollo did, and she did try to apologize for upsetting persphone with a cake. I wouldn’t say the two are besties but she did try to help persphone best she could. And now Artemis is used to excuse Persphones genocide crime.
2. Took them long enough to make Artemis' body like every other woman in the latest free episode wow such diversity 🙄
3. Hear me out, Apollo takes Daphnes hibernation to frame persphone as more of a nymph turning people into plants. We now have the whole cast know that’s what she’s capable of and unable to fix. Idk I just feel like persphone isn’t gonna face any consequence “oh community service gee golly sounds like fun” really deflated me since ya know persphone not only kill mortals but turned a nymph into a plant.
Hades said this was his domain to deal with yet he’s not gonna help out his ex gf who he witnessed turned into a plant after he wasted her time using her as a place holder. RS is afraid to give persphone any form of growth.
4. i mean, i wouldnt pay upwards to nearly 50 dollars for a book version of something i could read for free on my phone in the format it was made for either.
5. what i dont get is if rachel wants the endgame to be kids then why is adoption not an option? its not even brought up, there is only focus on biological kids. more so, and i HATE the fandom does this bc rachel is so easily swayed by them, but its always boys too? the only kids hades seems to have in myth (excluding the orphic ones) is either the furies (which cant happen in LO) or makaria, so daughters, but it seems the fandom and rachel care more to follow the male heir trope for some reason :/
6. im just sad she had such a unique style but now its just gone. even her sketches on twitter, so we know its her doing it instead of a team, just lack that charm and style it once had. i just dont get how she lost that unique edge so fast. the majority of LO is in this current style too while her original one, which is what made it popular, was only in the first 20ish episodes.
7. It doesn't make sense that Artemis n Apollo got to morder a buncha people without a pass and didn't get send to court but the only reason it doesn't make sense is because RS decided 'lol scene's looking like shit for perse, time to pull out another greek myth that makes everyone else look bad lololol' (also why isn't perse defending Artemis if she lovse all her frieinds so much? Like PLEASE RS STICK TO SMTH)
8. Where can we go to read the bonus chapter?
From OP: Currently, there’s not a way to read it online from what I’ve seen.
9. I don;t get how when the villagers murder perse's friends, they get killed, but when perse kills, she gets community service???
From OP: That’s because nymphs are more valued than humans. It’s kind of weird because in LO, nymphs are lower class and aren’t really treated with respect either. They’re like slightly above mortals in terms of importance.
10. if we reach episode 200 of LO and they're still not a couple i might actually lose it. true beauty and lets play are both dragged out too but even they both have more romance going on than dragging it out this much.
-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----
11. FP TALK: So i had to catch myself up with the past episode of this and… my god i just remembered why the HELL I dropped it. So basically Hades found out from eavesdropping and then Persephone was technically FORCED to talk about it while Hades kept PUSHING IT!!! Only for him to become that pissed off and for Persephone to stop him from that form!? Bitch I would’ve told him that he’s overstepping boundaries. And for him to say “what doesn’t kill you make you stronger” to her??? B r u h, that turama doesn’t make you stronger, it hurts and it stays with you no matter what. Yes you can heal from it but yet Persephone is still healing, only for her to keep. Wing forced to talk about it??? That’s horrible and not what she would need to hear. Also why the hell do I sense a Apollo redemption?? I hate where this is going. Why did I pick this up again??😓
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same i thought the lexi and fez thing was really cute. i didn't like how fez's storyline ended though, i don't think he's dead but it just seems weird to me that they got ashtray to shoot like that at the police like he's impulsive but he's not stupid. he wanted to defend fez but i just think he would have known better than that
also i kinda understand cassie and i disagree with all the hate she gets. i dont defend her actions but people seem to forget that she had that dark past with her dad and she has been objectified and treaded so badly by men so i can't blame her for having low self esteem and craving male validation. i really enjoyed lexi's play especially the nate part but she did cassie dirty with the carousel part so i understand cassie for having that breakdown even tho her monologue was very clicheic and poorly written 😭
ash is like 12 so it makes sense to me he reacted the way he did like yeah hes a smart kid but he still got the brain of a kid so long term thinking/fully grasping the concept of consequences isnt the easiest thing for him to do especially in the middle of such a high stress traumatizing situation. that whole scene got me anxious as fuck tho like i my brain was basically just repeating what fez was saying like i just kept thinking ”dude thats just a little boy like hes just a kid pls dont hurt him” like damn
i will always have a soft spot for girls like cassie bc i used to befriend and take care of girls like her when i was that age so i have love and empathy for her bc of that. i think ppl hate her bc shes basically exactly like soooo many girls that age and her deep insecurity, naivety, attention seeking and desperation for love and approval is something a lot of us can relate to like a lot of girls see themselves in her and watching her fuck up is like watching ur own most embarrassing moments and behavior as a teenager and it frustrates us bc we just wanna shake her and tell her to get it together and love herself bc its like watching a version of ur younger self in the worst way
btw id feel some type of way about having a whole ass play made about my personal life in front of the whole school as well especially if i wasnt warned or given a heads up beforehand
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on the torture thing i know it was a while ago but. i feel like downplaying the whole torture thing that happens in dsmp is so. hm. people will be like "think about all the pain c!whoever is going through!" but. you are defending torture. like c!tommy literally had a whole turnaround bc with c!techno he would torture ppl (also i wanna remind that c!connor got tortured canonically- he forgave c!tommy but he is still traumatized from it iirc. its more cemented in canon than c!fundys torture is, where the latter seems to be more that the yelling is canon but the torture was exaggeration and had no bearing on the plot, just one of the few times where a cc is messing around w their friends in a semi canon way) and as such tommy like. grew out of torturing ppl and Doesnt Want That To Happen Ever. tommy torturing others was resolved and he decided not to do so because its immoral.
and then theres the other three torturers. c!sam, c!quackity, and c!dream. obviously c!dream is just completely in the wrong. theres no debate to be had there. c!sam was completely in the wrong as well, also no debate, he cut off his (at the time i think freshly exes iirc?) boyfriend's arm and tortured him and took his first life over worthless things- yes while spiraling but mental health deteriorating is a reason, not an excuse. spiraling does not justify irrational torture of a loved one. people who gloss over this moment, or hell, even praise c!sam for it are.. uncomfortable to be around at best. especially if excessive (and there are people who praise him for it and not in a "c!sam is an interesting and complex character" way but in a "he was in the right" and even girlboss comments kind of. are icky here. [also not to bring race but hm as a poc maybe the fandom could stand not to romanticize the torture of a poc by a character played by a white man. i dont blame cc!sam, not at all, and i think it fits in the story and is not something to criticize the creator for. but please god fandom be normal towards c!ponk. treat him as a person who was hurt by c!sam not just someome c!sam is still in love with after torturing and killing and amputating him. please. hes a person outside of that relationship.])
and then.. c!quackity. even more complicated than c!sam, really. but i still think its immoral to torture a prisoner who cant fight back, abuser or not. i genuinely think dream deserves to die over getting tortured, or at least just. left alone in prison. at most wait a while and then maybe make attempts at getting through to him and if they dont work let him be. but torture is immoral regardless of who you're doing it to and id argue that saying its okay takes away c!dream's humanity. c!dream is a terrible and disgusting person but to treat him as less than human (and i dont mean from like. a design point. nonhuman dreams fuck i mean this in a morality sense) feels.. off to me? like as an abuse victim treating an abuser as just some toy to fuck up is,, idk. it feels off. like im sorry to break it to the fandom but terrible people are still people and treating them as less than people because theyre terrible just doesnt work. it takes away how serious it is that people hurt each other and that the pain will stay. people die, killing c!dream, if anything, actively acknowledges that hes a person who can die like everyone else. torturing him does not. i dont care as much about like girlboss or w/e statements w c!quackity bc yeah hes doing somethin about an abuser but its a terrible solution and c!quackity is an immoral person for doing it, understandable motives or not. c!quackity is more sympathetic than c!sam and c!dream (and while not currently more sympathetic than c!tommy, their reasons for torture do differ and id say that c!quackity has a more sympathetic reason than c!tommy did) but hes still wrong for doing this.
like. idk. dsmp fandom learn how to realize that just because source is full of gray morality doesnt mean that you should start genuinely defending immoral actions just because they arent equal to real life. theres a difference between how dsmp government and pandoras vault just cannot be compared to irl government and prison because they dont function the same and how, in the roleplay, the fictional torture is like irl torture whether you like it or not. the way that the characters' mental illnesses and deteriorating mental health mirrors real life and the way that the abuse c!tommy and others go through mirrors real life is the way that the torture that characters who are canonically effected by it mirrors real life.
of course i could just be more pissy than i need to be but like. i also do not think its Super Serious. i just think that while people can joke around maybe theres some stuff that just shouldnt be treated as Not Serious and Definitely Justifiable just because its fiction. have fun if you want, make girlboss jokes and continue to enjoy the characters because theyre written amazingly and be lighthearted about it if you dont want to be super serious. no one can or will stop you. just. yknow. make sure you arent genuinely defending something horrible. dont be like the people who defend how c!tommy was and is treated just because he fucks up. c!tommy has done some fucked up shit but he doesnt deserve to be treated as less than human and that spreads to everyone in the story. sorry for the super big ramble i just think about this a lot idk - (the dsmp fandom is scary so im not revealing myself just yet. so like idk. im just gonna be 🎭🎪 anon for now)
anon you are so smart i really don’t have anything to add
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Why I think Feysand were OOC in ACOSF
I hope that no one misunderstands from the title but let me say this is a 100% PROfeysand post. so if you hated feysand even before acosf, then this post isn't for you.
So i've seen a lot of interesting theories about feysand's and in particular rhys' behaviour and choices throughout acosf. and while alot of them seemed possible and may have been the case canonically speaking, even as a feysand stan i just couldn't seem to wrap my head around some of the things they said and did in the book. they just both seem OOC, its the only pausible explanation for me.
To understand why feysand were OOC in the book we have to look at this through a narrative perspective. as in we have to ask why would the author write the character/s in this way?
a quick overview of what a character arc is
so there can be a lot of variations of a character arc in a story but the basics is as follows (how does the character go from point 'a' to point 'b'):
the 'big lie' - the views/beliefs/actions the character has at the start which will be challenged throughout the story (this is point 'a')
the 'incident' - a plot point in which starts development of the character. something that spurs the character into action, this most ofter happens when they are placed in an unfamiliar situation. this usuallyy is the intial challenge to their 'big lie'. at this point the story will move forward and theres no going back.
the midpoint - the character changes conciously or subconciously, they start to recognise their own flaws in the 'big lie'.
world collaspes - this is usually on the heels of a victory, the character reaches the lowest point in their journey. they finally confront 'the big lie' and forces to stop this deception they inflict on themselves. they can destroy it or it will destroy them.
the climax - the reason for the story. the reason why the character had to take this journey in order to get to this moment. the moment that the character will decide once and for all whether they will go forward to point 'b' or regress back to point 'a'
the resolution - the character reaches point 'b'. their view/beliefs/actions have changed, they no longer believe in the 'big lie'.
So obvisouly the main character in acosf is Nesta. What sjm does in her books is that every plot point and development of secondary characters is in service to the arc of the main character. None of the character's outside of Nesta have their own development. Not even Cassian, any sort of changes or developments he undergoes is in service to Nesta (a complete missed opportunity for Cassian but that a whole other point). And before anyone tries to say otherwise, you can have development for characters even if they are secondary ones (and for a book that is 800+ pages long it is definitely possible). An example is with his can also be seen with Gwyn. Her leaving the library for the first time was a huge moment for the character, but she did so, in order to comfort Nesta after her big fight with Cassian. It was also so that Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie could all be together in Illyria so they could be kidnapped and forced to enter the blood rite (where the final showdown occurs with Nesta and the villan).
so what has this got to do with feysand and why are they OOC?
In fact the entire plot with feyre's pregnancy was made to give chracter developments for Nesta. There was nothing written in the book that suggested any developments for feyre and rhys. it did nothing for them. Nesta needed to become central to the story and the only way sjm thought to keep feyre side lined was to make her pregrnant. It was also just lazy writing and world building bc there is no way that rhys would have though of this when he and feyre were trying for a baby.
SIN #1 The Shields
Rhys practicing shields (shield thats doesn't even allow anyone to even touch her) on feyre, which she just allows. the book explains because of the fact that there is more danger to her now that she's pregnant. Narratively, this would make sense if there is a payoff. Like later in the story if feyre was in physical danger and the shield saves her or if the shield became a detriment to her in some way. But no nothing like this happens. Rhys 'practices' the shield on her and thats it. Rhys, who was the same person that trusted feyre enough defend herself against the weaver. It was totally out of character that he would shield her to the point that Cassian can't even kiss her on the cheek (sounds familiar huh). and the same goes for feyre, who has no problem with this (*cough* tamlin locking her up *cough*). Thats is some OOC behaviour.
So what were the point of the shields? well since sjm made it canon that fae can smell when a female is pregnant, the biggest way they came into play was in the scene when rhys lifted it long enough so that everyone could sense that that feyre was pregnant. And It could have been just that, feyre and rhys were expecting a baby, and Nesta can go along with her development, they did not need to intersect. But it did, and we'll come back to that later. This scene is a lighthearted moment in the book, one of the rare few where all the characters are happy and celebrating a good thing. acofas we knew that rhys and feyre decided to try for a baby, and seeing it pay off here was enjoyable for the readers.
But what else does this scene do? through Nesta's perspective, we can read her thoughts on it, and though she doesn't reveal much its an important character moment for her. the readers can see that she can feel happiness for someone else beyond the self-loathing she guards herself with, it shows that she is a character worth rooting for.
SIN #2 Rhys concealing the dangers of the pregnancy from feyre
oof this one is a doosey. this was the most baffling thing to come out of acosf for me. there is literally no reason or explanation that would make sense for rhys to lie to feyre like that. It offers no development for the two character it affects the most: rhys and feyre. there no fallout on rhys' end for lying to her, and there is no turmoil for feyre such as falling into depair like we told she would (the whole reason that rhys was hiding it in the first place).
When Nesta finds out that the pregnancy was most likely going to kill feyre and the baby. instead of Nesta disagreeing and urging Rhys to tell feyre, she doesn't say anything and forms a temporary truce with him, a character she has always had conflict with. It also serves as the incident that allows Nesta to have her 'world collapse' moment in her character arc. How else was Nesta going to realise what a shitty person is was being if she didn't do something so absolutely shitty? in a fit of rage, Nesta reveals to feyre that the pregnancy was going to kill both her and the baby. she get taken away on a hike in illyria (because???) and she reaches rock bottom after she comes to term with what she did. the story is taken away from velaris and the inner circle, and any conflict and resolution that happens between feyre and rhys, if it even happened at all, happens off page. again furthering my point about the pregnancy having no impact on the two characters is affects the most. After Nesta's fleeting moment of enlightenment, and her swordplay sex marathon with Cassian (urgh) she returns to velaris and nothing has changed between rhys and feyre. there isn't really much of a development with Nesta's relationship with feyre, their 'reconciliation' occurs all of less than one page and doesn't even happen out loud, just mind to mind. Now that Nesta has had her important character moment, nothing else matters (again lazy writing).
SIN #3 Everyone dies
ok so yes everyone has said their two cents about this and i agree with it. Feyre and nyx had to die so that Nesta could have her climax moment. It is the climax of the story since it is the big story development right before the resolution. and about the bargain - feysand decided in acofas that they were going to try for a baby. meaning that it was after this decision that they struck the bargain that they would die together. so at some point they would have thought of the fact they would have a child/children when the both die. im sorry but do they seem like the kind of ppl that would make a suicide pact even if it meant leaving their children behind? TOTALLY OOC for me. and i dont know i guess also the stakes weren't high enough with just the threat of feyre and nyx dying.
So feyre and nyx are dead and rhys will soon follow and Nesta intervenes to save them. Its also a self-sacrificing moment bc she has to give up her powers in order to do this... Showing that she does truely love her family and the depths of her powers. (seriously idc how you stan or hate how does anyone this good book?). don't doubt that in the future books sjm will find a way for Nesta to get her powers back (whatever they are (pure death WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???))
So Nesta saves the day, everyone is fine and nothing has changed except Nesta is nice now probably. the end.
welp this got way longer that i expected but anyways long story short there was nothing about the pregnancy that gave development to feysand characters and it was all for the development of the main character.
i don't claim acosf!feysand and sjm better fucking leave them alone in the rest of the books.
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the issue with certain lgbt advocacy orgs, a great example being the uk’s stonewall, is that they have unfortunately adopted some of the most extreme tenets of ‘gender identity theory’ (? for lack of a better descriptor). so the existence of detrans people is reacted to with hostility or suspicion because they are a threat to a part of that ideology (‘because these people inherently are this thing no one who has these experiences would ever want to detransition’ etc). this is really damaging bc it means that they effectively have foregone protecting dysphoric individuals (and gay people, in many ways) and especially dysphoric teen girls. any talk of introducing other options for dysphoric individuals as alternatives for those who probably shouldn’t transition or as a precursor before the serious medical intervention that transition is is offered, is viewed as inherently anti-trans rather than people pro-dysphoric people’s ability to access varied healthcare as though transitioning works for some, it verifiably does not work for everyone and is offered to children at younger and younger ages as a catch-all solution when often there’s other factors at play (misogyny, CSA, neglect, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, autism in girls, etc). I’m probably just saying things you already know but it’s just disastrous for everyone when advocacy orgs give up serving the interests of people they supposedly represent, bc none of this protects trans people in any way. it just makes them more liable to being taken advantage of by medical professionals and surgeons who ultimately have their own monetary investment in trans healthcare that is obviously highly suspicious on its own
tbh i don’t think it has anything to do with “gender identity theory” as you put it and more to do with two facts: 1) lgbt orgs, like many social orgs, have long had a sexism problem, and 2) lgbt orgs have become increasingly corporate over the past few decades. detrans people are very inconvenient if you want to make money off of unregulated medical treatment that you have no training to perform. like, in the 60 minutes piece, one of the psychologists to work at the first gender clinic in the US pointed out how several unlicensed clinics have popped up all over the country that dont follow the WPATH guidelines or even the basics of informed consent….and i am aware of many detrans people that criticize the affirmative model, but even people who have pioneered that model are raising concerns. which is why i think like yes, differing views on gender are relevant, but it’s a facade for these deeper issues that have long existed, you know? it’s not actually anything new even if though its an unprecedented situation. if that makes sense lol
but i do agree with a lot of what you are saying, in that it leaves all dysphoric people out in the cold. people not only deserve safe medical treatment, but they deserve proper informed consent and follow up. what is unacceptable is clinics that posit themselves as reducing harm and providing aid, when what they’re really trying to do is skirt the guidelines to make money off of people who are sometimes in a desperate or difficult situation. thats also why these conservative bans on treatment are not designed to help anyone (obviously) because they are only going to force people into a more desperate posture. they also offer no meaningful remedy or reform or regulation. but of course we know they don’t care. what hurts is lgbt orgs participating and defending these kinds of practices. and it does have the effect of limiting self-expression and self-conceptualization by pushing this idea that you HAVE to medically transition to be authentic, which is what’s often stated in the cruel backlash to detrans women in particular. that they aren’t/weren’t “real” trans people. but what does that mean exactly? and how is that determined? obviously a lot of these women are reidentified, but what about those who aren’t? or are somewhere in the middle? what about trans people who have regrets? who have, for lack of a better word, botched procedures? who don’t respond well to blockers or hormones? what are they supposed to do if organizations that purport to represent them are hellbent on maintaining a culture of silence around these issues? why tell kids who are still developing their sense of self that this is the primary or sometimes only path they can take, as too many orgs do? why create new binaries if you’re claiming to want to eliminate them? a lot of the implications of this discourse are the same old essentialism, and that’s a problem. but that is what happens when you have movements that despite their reliance on and overlap with feminism, opt not to meaningfully challenge gender as a system of oppression. and men across the board have had this problem, it’s just that men in the lgbt community aren’t any exception
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This isnt necessarily an attack on you but the fandom in general gets annoying. Brittana always got scraps so ofc that was their proposal, I dont think Santana would go all out though shed truly want something more close and intimate with brittany. But in general brittan always got scraps and not fully well developed plots. They didnt even get their own wedding which didnt even make sense and makes me cringe the whole encounter of trying to get Blaine and Kurt to agree to get married together with them. (Its the writers and not brittana but everyone psychic analysis what brittana did as if it's not just a lack of care from the writers)
Okay, this is a response to my tags about the brittana proposal (just to catch everyone up)
So first off I’d like to say I personally believe whenever anyone shits on a character’s actions, it is always an indirect attack on the writers.
E.g. When people say they hate Rachel, they’re talking about the way the writers wrote her character, or the plot lines Rachel has and her actions that the writers wrote. (I guess a small amount of people might just not like her bc she’s portrayed by Lea Michele but I personally think only liking fictional characters if their actors were good people is a dangerous game to play— especially since it’s Hollywood, I don’t doubt that there’s only like 5 decent actors full stop) ((this is not me defending Lea Michele or anything))
So my mini thing about their proposal wasn’t an attack on brittana really, I don’t even write it in a ‘why would Santana do this’ kind of way I don’t think.
Secondly, yeah I agree Brittana got a lot less of everything really. They probably got the most screen time together as a couple in s6 and their plot lines still seem rushed.
Klaine got an entire season to enjoy a long engagement and have character development together as a couple. Their proposal was the cliffhanger for s4, building up over 3 episodes, and the entire first episode of s5 was basically centred around that proposal (sure there were other plots but When people remeber ‘love love love’ I don’t think many are thinking about the wildebrams storyline)
Brittana get a small proposal in the choir room surrounded by a few friends and some kids they don’t even know, and it gets interrupted. They don’t even get to kiss??
Hell I’d argue even Finchel got a more romantic proposal, with some actual build up and weight behind it, and it’s a giant plot point that spans over the whole of s3 really (considering they don’t officailly break it off until Rachel goes to NY in 3x22).
So yeah, I fully acknowledge Brittana got less. I felt like that was the point I was making in my original tags, but that might have not been very clear and I’m sorry if it felt I was attacking the characters.
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hey from one nd person to another the comic where fm gordon says a slur seems kind of in poor taste. ik ur not intentionally making light of it and tht occurring in fm should be criticized but while you dont make it out to be a good thing making jokes about it and calling him a "slurboy" is kind of questionable? it makes it seem more like a plotpoint and angst rather than the creator of fm genuinely fucking up in the past (and having moved on from it)! i think exploring fm coming to terms with being nd is a good idea but this isnt the best way to do it. if you want me to explain my point more lmk if/when u post this and i will! someone already made a post abt it but it was kinda strongly worded and i wanted to approach you more calmly because i genuinely dont want to call you out or start drama or anything ;-;
first off thank you for being civil and patient with me i appreciate this ask a lot- also this got long- im not in a flying rage or anything when i bold or emphasis text, i just needed it also for my own readability and since im not the best at wording- hopefully this hellsite works and my response is under the cut
i would like to know how is it in poor taste when freemind explicitly gets clocked at the very end for saying it. the entire point of the comic was to show that saying the r slur has existed in his source and is bad
im not sure how much more direct i can get, with the disclaimer/warning list growing longer and longer and out there for a huge sign that says “this au can get dark as fuck and these subject matters are treated seriously/not something to mess around with.” Like yes, there are some jokes in the asks and other comics, but that specific comic is not supposed to be “haha thats funny”. it has a serious tone using a rough sketch style bc i was super tired and wanted to vent
was it just the direct reference to it that just made people uncomfortable? because thats 100% understandable, and i made sure i tagged it appropriately (although admittedly, a little bit late since i thought the filter would catch at least the main thing)
i think what some people somehow got from it is “exploring sensitive content = endorsing said content” which! that is not the intent! i absolutely do not want people saying that word! I don’t want people thinking that is any way okay for this character to say
its more of a damned if i do address it, damned if i dont.
if it never comes up, people are gonna assume that ‘oh this character says slurs and is shit, surely the creator or fan-creator MUST be okay with it and woobifies freemind and absolves him of any mistakes’ or something like that. no. this asshole has an arc and i want to do it right. its serious and i think it shouldn’t be shoved under the rug
and people just. dont want to read for context for whatever reason. theyll start watching it and get taken aback by the slur and start blaming me ‘hey you never warned for this’ when very early on i keep mentioning over and over ‘you dont have to watch it if you dont want to! This has slurs and 2000s internet brand humor/style’ You really dont, I’m not forcing you to watch it- Literally all you need to know is either canon half life or hl/vrai. thats it. fm mostly follows hl1 with very slight changes.
so i had to make something that:
1. warns people who arent aware and dont want to go through my asks or about/warning pages (for whatever reason) and just want to see the art
2. also NOT downplay freemind’s canon assholery. listen, i kinda despise writing mean and cruel characters, theyre hard to do, and a lot of people get shit for doing it wrong or people going “character = author”
i’ve also considered leaving the bubbles blank, but then people could fill it with whatever they want, then blame me for being vague. or they’d fill it in with a different kind of slur that freemind has never used, even if he MIGHT be the type to do that. I needed to explicitly mention that it is ableist slur. There are shitty racist and other problematic jokes, but never those kinds of extreme racial slurs to my knowledge.
Although I do see your point that maybe joking about it outside of the serious stuff might not be the best route. The slurboy jokes are getting stale, and I will try a better way to remind people.
The thing that gets to me is that it feels people are more than ready to defend either Ross Scott or Gordon Freeman the fictonal character himself. I don’t??? really care for Ross Scott, so I don’t know if he’s ever brought it up specifically. I’m not really calling him out or cancelling him. Idc for some white man’s feelings, im only bringing the timeframe of That era and reworking it to fit in This current era.
And I hate to break it to people: Gordon Freeman is a blank slate character, you can project whatever the hell you want on him as long as it’s not freakshit illegal garbage. The machinimas (fm, hl/vrai) do have SOME characterization that I want to nail down. It fucking sucks when characters are ooc, and I’m trying not to do that, even if it means sacrificing some comfort. But still mostly staying in my comfort zone if that makes sense
Now about the callout that I do not want to engage with the op directly:
Honestly im very surprised the comic was called out when i just. thought my stuff is relatively tame on exploring the bad shit canon freemind does. ive seen him in fancontent where they really dont hold back and its still played off as ‘kinda funny’ tone.
I really don’t know if people just want any reason to hate me for whatever reason. That’s fine I guess, I can’t please everyone and they dont have to like me.
But like. isn’t it so much easier for the op of that to block me and the post and move on. Why kick up such a fuss. I can see that thinly veiled death threat of a vague. That’s pretty fucked up- Like holy fucking god, you do not have to like my stuff. I’m not holding you at knifepoint to like my stuff. I’ve specifically made two different tags (one general au, one specific au) if anyone wants to blacklist it for their own reasons I do not need to know. I don’t want to know.
You’re allowed to be uncomfortable. You’re allowed to unfollow/blacklist/block.
However you just don’t go ranting about it for something you horribly misinterpreted. If it bothers you so badly, literally just. drop me a message to clarify. thats it. or save yourself the time and block me.
I’ve blocked the op for both our sakes, but if anyone wants to send this post to them, then thats fine. I don’t want anything to do with them.
I don’t want to link the post and blow it up. I just want shit clarified, dropped and we can move the fuck on with our lives.
If you’re reading this and don’t know what the post is, please don’t bother. I do not want people going after the op with threats, please keep it civil, I’d prefer if you don’t engage with the post at all on my behalf.
Despite this huge wall of text, I do not want this to be a big deal, so please don’t ask me about the details.
_
As for anon, feel free to dm me either on here or. Maybe on discord if you’d still like to suggest or have something more cleared up. I’m still willing to hear any kind of feedback, and i want to thank you again for being reasonable about this
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tua s1 rewatch with my roommate
episode one (I forgot for the first episode oops):
I have been treated to pictures of a lovely cosplay of Klaus who won a cosplay contest my roommate was in !!
Klaus putting his arm in front of Five during the funeral fight is good shit
“I have heard like nothing about Vanya” “yeah that’s pretty much how she’s treated in show as well”
“I can see why he’s the fandom favorite” - about Klaus
“Istanbul is in the firST EPISODE?”
I forGOT about the “rapists can climb” line when he breaks into Vanya’s apartment omg but also like,, his dumb arm wound
Episode two:
HERR CARLSON
Aww baby fives first time travel his little smile. Baby. Baby boy. And the dawning horror in the apocalypse baby nO
Five: you got anything stronger
Also five: takes one sip and then fills up more, takes another sip, and then immediately puts it down ?????
The motel dude for hazel and cha cha just looks at them like “yeah these are serial killers” and just rolls with it
Also actually why tf doesn’t the commission spring for better stuff?? Why would they cut costs?? They time travel? They could game the stock market so hard ?????? Give the assassins their own rooms omg
Also why didn’t five like. Crush his tracker. Why did he just leave it whole and intact outside of the Griddys.
Forgot how much I love Agnes
(Oh man it is storming bad here it just BOOMED)
Also idk if Diego actually deserved that taser hmmmmm but also like,, communication lads five was literally right there killing people and Diego is like “hmm something is up here” like. Yeah Diego ur big brother “I can get my sibling in trouble for something” senses are tingling
Wow I really did repress all these Allison and Luther scenes huh. Also it’s still super cute that Allison read Claire moon books
Allison: dads heart gave out, which wasn’t how I was expecting to find out dad had a heart but it tracks
“SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE BEN... said with love 😘”
Did five actually sleep at Vanyas?? The sofa looks undisturbed but he had to wait for work hours to interrogate the meritech people,, five,, please sleep. The whole “IF YOU CALL ME YOUNG MAN ONE MORE TIME” interaction makes more sense with five on. Zero sleep.
I didn’t remember that Patch straight up knows about the umbrella academy oops. Like she clocks Diego as overcompensating for his childhood. Queen
Is that an umbrella adademy Diego cross stitch on Diego’s wall?? Did he buy that? Make it?? Did grace make it?
Vanya, walking into the academy: five??? five? pspspspspsps
Also like. Who was Vanyas therapist??? Clearly they did not help her
Aww the tow truck driver :(
I know the show wants me to dislike Patrick I KNOW,, and I think her fathers funeral is extenuating circumstance?? But still Patrick is valid for not giving an inch regarding his ex who mind controlled his child. Vanya didn’t really deserve Allison snapping at her but like. She had some good points. Allison arguably would have had to deal with vanyas book more than anyone else
Five smiling proudly at Klaus’s drama at meritech bless but also KLAUS DONT BREAK GLASS ON YOURSELF
Me, spotting Leonard: BASTARD
Love how everyone greets Diego in the gym and don’t question all his knives or anything like “yeah that’s Diego he lives here and loves knives :)”
Why could Leonard have not been like. A normal ass guy. Vanya needs friends who sympathize with her holy shit get this person some socialization
Pogo really did have to lead these kids by hand to the recording rooms because literally no one was super invested in reginalds ~murder mystery~
ahafahJAGSJWGAI MY ROOMMATE JUST SAID POGO IS THE BEST CHARACTER SO FAR,,,, I will probably never include pogo in my fics because I do Not Care About Him lmaoooo
Aww five does to see Dolores and being like “it’s been a rough couple of days :(“,,,,, baby,,,, but also tag yourself I’m hazel going “elastic wrist splint yesssssss”
Five I am begging you PLEASE get some sleep
OH FIVE SHAKING DIEGO IN THE APOCALYPSE TO TRY AND WAKE HIM UP OHHHHH OH :(
Episode 3:
my roommate is super faceblind which is an issue bc she identifies people mainly by hairstyle so seeing the s2 stuff on tumblr is tripping her over bc she keeps seeing diego and going ??? who is that again? bc she’s seen his longer hair
okay there is no way that the eggs that grace put in that pan are the ones that ended up on the smiley face breakfast plate,,, but also grace that whole scene was a mood honestly i would be like “okay maybe mom killed dad BUT he deserved it sooooo”
“what the FUCK” - my roommate about cha-cha’s shitty wound care where she holds a curling iron against her arm
i didn’t remember that five got shOT AT THE DEPARTMENT STORE did i just erase that from my memory?? i mean yeah it’s a graze but he stitches it up and then slaps a bandaid on it so he has a wound that needed stitches on his shoulder for the entire show ??????? is he okay???? that would make moving your arm,,, painful,,,,,
a bandaid just slapped over it i’m actively yelling
“Sometimes when I see a million gifs of a show before I watch I get really surprised when they talk but he is exactly what I expected” - my roommate, about five
“I noticed they’ve only really showed diego in really badly lit scenes so far” - my roommate defending her lack of ability to recognize diego
i’m still laughing about pogo literally having to point out the murder tapes and now allison and luther are investigating and just. allison is lowkey defending grace and i’m laughing
“why is he saying woodwork is embarrassing that’s like one of the most middle of the wood hobbies to have. you’re respectable to grandpas who used to carve wooden ducks AND twenty-year-olds who can’t make anything to save their lives” - my roommate on leonard peabody
“i think he’s already crossing some lines he’s met this lady ONCE” - roommate on leonard/vanya
five having flashbacks in the car :(
did allison and luther draw straws for who went to fetch which sibling?? allison was like “dibs on vanya” and luther was just like “aww :(”
five luther and klaus in the van - BOYS NIGHT BOYS NIGHT let’s go pick up diego
“the coat he’s wearing does have a nice swish to it” - roommate about klaus’s coat
luther being like “you’re just as messed up as the rest of us and we’re all you have” like luther,,, baby,,,,, you literally ARE all he has,,,,,, his family is the only thing he’s really cared about since he was thirteen and maybe before then :(
“I can’t tell if those are supposed to be cake or yeast donuts... i think extruded donuts are cake donuts but she said she lets them rise so maybe they’re yeast?” - my roommate focusing on all the things that i do not
sometimes i forget that hazel and cha-cha pretended to be private detectives trying to find a lost child in a potentially dangerous situation,,, five would be disgusted
“she shouldn’t get a vote” “i was gonna say i agree with you” “she should get a vote!!” this is peak sibling energy honestly i think i’ve had that exact interaction with my siblings voting for a movie or something
“hashtag android rights”
“I want to be the tailor who gets a call one day that says ‘i want you to make clothes for a chimpanzee”
is it telling that only luther in the flashback didn’t really talk to grace at all,, i mean five didn’t either but i think he was gone by that point in the flashback ????
wait diego tells grace that she worked for him for thirty years,,, the kids are 29 and later it’s implied she was built bc vanya kept killing nannies when they were like four but maybe s2 clarifies that some more?? or diego just is rounding up
“that’s an interesting fabric to her skirt” - my roommate about grace’s outfit
forgot that hazel and cha cha broke the door to the manor busting in,, do they ever fix that?? we’re only at episode three do they spend the rest of the season with their door open to anyone on the streets
okay that bathtub is WAY too small to allow for klaus to be moving his elbows about like that underwater smh
“how is HE useful on mission??” my roommate about klaus
where is the SECURITY SYSTEM??? luther LITERALLY said that reggie was more paranoid and yet some assassin can just bust down the door and have unrestricted access????? he built a whole ROBOT but no security system????????
“maybe it was like,, practice for the kids? someone breaks in and they take care of it? wait no that doesn’t explain the thirteen years they’ve been gone?”
“why WAS he on the moon?” - about luther
“I want to see what she’s embroidering!!” about grace during the gunfight in the living room she’s absolutely ignoring diego getting shot at
what is a rope-a-dope,,,, diego yells “EVER HEARD OF A ROPE-A-DOPE???” at luther but like. no i haven’t. what does that MEAN diego
aww i forgot they played sinnerman, love that song
“what are you doing dude, rumor has it you’re not shooting at me that’s all you need to do” i mean. the roommate is not wrong. allison could just end the fight with a yell. i understand she’s pissed off and has rumor trauma but like cha cha is actively trying to murder them
how is luther not winning he literally has super strength. does hazel have super strength? just punch the man and knock him out jesus y’all suck at this smh
why is there such intense music we all been knew about luther’s strength - oH HIS BODY
forgot about that
is it allison’s fault that klaus got kidnapped because she didn’t literally just rumor them to give up?? like she literally has that power. she could have been like “i heard a rumor you left and forgot about us” it didn’t even need to be violent?? i understand she has rumor trauma but this i feel is allowable circumstances
diego showing his worry about vanya by getting angry which honestly i think all the siblings do that rip none of these idiots have even heard of healthy communication in their LIVES
you know,, i don’t think vanya can drive. she takes the bus. she took a taxi to leonard’s house. we see her walking a lot. does she know how to drive?? i imagine that the umbrella academy were taught bc of mission related stuff but,,, vanya wasn’t?? that’s just depressing tbh
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