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#because i enhoy it and i have the time
asexualbookbird · 7 months
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guess WHAT yall! I finished Legends & Lattes today which means I got to color in the last book in the Read Books You Own journal spread!
Normally this means I get to Buy A New Book, but considering the state of my bookshelves I think I'll find a different reward lol
Anyway! This is fun! I'm going to go make another!
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Scythe chapter 21-25!! (UNFINISHED)
-Oh god it’s the tweaker part ughhhh this makes me so uncomfyyyyy
-i would NOT survive a day in goddard training, i cant handle pain
-When ur neglected you tend to enhoy attention
-this is basically torture
-oh god when yove gone through most of ur life relatively painless this musy feel lolr hell
-at least volt is thete
-he will want too
-“rightmindedness is overrated,” goddard said. “Id rather have a mind thats clear than one thats right”
-death by fire will happen a lor more often
Chapter 22
-again more compassion by not gleaning kids
-longing!!
-TONISTS!!
-“thar which comrs cant br avoidrd”
-g sharp or a flat
-the primordial ooze makes me sickj
-GODDARD
Go back over this chapter
Chapter 23
-ooo searchin time!!
-“my oh my, youve been picking through my brain, it would say if it were allowed, with a virtual wink. Naughty, naughty.”
-citra being very clever!!!
-“the woman, not the dog. The dog couldn’t care less.”
-mention scythe fields
-stop being fatphobic citra /j no but thid book has a weird issue with fat ppl ive noticed
-BENNNN
-“Grandma of death”
-“or if they’re murdered, thought citra” GET YHOSE GEARS TURNING
-OUGH THEY DONT EVEN KNOWW
-god the disconnect citra frels is just ARGH
-DHE DID CHOOSE THOSE COLORSS
-“Guilt is the idiot cousin of remorse”
-Susan!!
-CITRA IS SMARTT
-FUCK YOU GODDARDDD
CHAPTER 24!!
-god rowan,,
-“never lose your humanity,” scythe faraday had told him, “or youll be nothing more than a killing machine.”
-FUCK YOU GODDARD!!
-god thw way goddard uses the same exact phrase ans how its so different is just OUGH
-If hes a visionary id rather be blind
-RAND HE IS UNDERAGE STOP
-God I forgot how creepy this part was
-“we became unnatural the moment we conquered death”
-now i dont like to use the word cult but the book always talks abt backwards and cult-like the tonists are, but im seeing that the new order is more cultlike if anything
-“im decent to everyone,” rowan pointef out. “In case you havent noticed, im a decent person.”
-AAA FUCK YOU GODDARD
Chapter 25
-OHOHO I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN MARSSS
-technically the thunderhead does find a suitable planet
-love smartass rowan
-ah goddard and his ego, like pb&j
-chomsky ans his flamethrower
-massacre it is
-“im not one of them”
-“were angels of death,” said scythe goddard. “Its only fitting that we swoop in from rhe heavens”
-“knock knock” rand
-“guess youll miss the punch line”
-rowan trying to help ppl!!
-“”boo!” Said scythe chomshy.”
-“break stuff.” “Why?” She winked at him. “Because you can.”
-“i am your completion! I am your deliverance! I am your portal to the mysteries beyond this life! I am your final word! Your omega! Your bringer of peace and rest. Embrace me!”
-“welcome to life as a god,” this after Goddard said, “yesterday you were gods. Today you are mortal”
-“May the thunderhead help us all”
-they do end up escaping it!!
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mcrmadness · 7 months
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...
It's again time when everything is stupid. Especially me. And I don't mean that intelligence-wise but in the annoyed-by-everything-wise.
Maybe it's just because autumn seems to be finally here. Days are getting longer and darker and also my mind is getting darker. Everything I create feels like shit or at least not as good as what others do, aka the old friend inferiority complex. Fanfiction? Shit. Drawings? Boring. Comics? Too different and weird. Videos? Too long and not up to date with today's trends. I fucking hate today's trends and I am fighting against them on purpose, which obviously costs me a lot and shows up as the lack of views. But I'm too stubborn to change it, mostly because I would not enjoy creating something only for easy views. Too bad my insterests are not in line with others' interests, and others' creations get more views even if they are not doing that FOR views. Majority just seem to enhoy the same things, and I don't. So I can only blame myself. And what do you think I'm doing here? Yep, blaming myself of course, because it's true.
I need to go to bed. I have school stuff to do this week, and I'm extremely exhausted after this day. Fortunately I have some other projects of mine in the making too, and I don't care if other people will ignore them or not. Okay I lied. I care, but like. Also don't. I'm creating them for me so in that sense I don't care; but when I share, then I care and get upset if I'm ignored because I'm shitty that way.
Well whatever. Fortunately I have other things to think about tomorrow.
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tuggersc0ck · 2 years
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You mind sharing your thoughts about Tugger and Artemis getting it on?
Omg thank you for asking about Artemis x Tugger. I have Many Many thoughts about them that I don't share much outside some fandom pals on discord cause Artemis x Tugger is a very self-indulgent ship for me, but I shall share some thoughts! Also this is slightly more explicit than I usually go but uhh enhoy
Artemis is super submissive during sex. Their job is fairly stressful, so during sex they love having someone (and by someone I mean Tugger) take charge and call the shots.
Artemis is sensitive, especially when Tugger is the one touching them. Every small caress at their body, every little nip at their neck or scruff has them squirming and whimpering under Tugger's hands. Tugger likes to tease at how wet Artemis gets from the simplest of touches, but he also loves how worked up Artemis gets for him.
Their go-to position is missionary, mostly because Tugger loves seeing Artemis’ face as they fuck. He’s never had a partner as expressive as they are, their pleasure so open on their face as they take every inch of his cock. Being a Jellicle, Artemis is incredibly flexible so Tugger always likes to take one of their legs and hook it around his shoulder, allowing him to go even deeper. 
When Artemis really wants to get railed, especially after a particularly stressful day and their mind is cluttered and they need a release, Tugger will take them from behind. While Tugger can’t see their face, the moans and pleas for him to go faster or harder that leave Artemis’ lips as Tugger fucks them hard from behind make up for it.
Tugger doesn’t normally edge his partners since he lives to please, but Artemis has an erotic sexual denial kink and Tugger is all too happy to indulge them. Artemis loves the increased tension being edged creates and how powerful the orgasm Tugger finally allows them to have can be. He’ll start by eating them out, circling their clit with his tongue before fully lapping at their folds and diving his tongue in, knowing where their most sensitive spots are. Tugger feels intense satisfaction at how wet Artemis gets from just a few flicks of this tongue, and he knows all the right places that makes them a squirming mess.
Once he feels Artemis shaking and their moans growing louder, he stops the pleasure, always timing it right before they are about to come. Artemis whines, but the small teasing laugh their desperation gets out of Tugger only makes them even more turned on. Once Artemis comes down a bit, he’s back at it, doing this a few more times before introducing fingers in tandem with his tongue. 
After being edged a few more times, Artemis is so frustratingly wet and turned on and desperate they start trying to be sneaky and secretly get off without Tugger noticing. They’ll try to control their breathing, keeping their moans in in hopes that Tugger won’t notice their impending orgasm. But Tugger is in tune with his partner’s bodies, especially Artemis, and these tricks never work on him. He stops right at the brink of orgasm again, leaving Artemis groaning but Tugger simply laughs again, whispering into their how “those tricks aren’t going to work on him,” his tone taunting but still light-hearted. After all, this is all for Artemis. 
He also loves how rough Artemis gets after they’ve been denied a few times, pulling at his hair or even shoving him back down forcefully to continue. It riles him up seeing the usually calm and collected tribe historian like this.
Once he decides to let Artemis come, it’s always when he’s fucking them, wanting that anticipated release to be on his cock than his fingers or tongue. It doesn’t last long for either of them, Artemis practically on the brink of orgasm since they started and Tugger so turned on from edging Artemis to hell and back, there’s no way he’s going to last. 
Right when Tugger is to come, he’ll drag a hand between their bodies and play with Artemis’ clit, whispering into their ear how sexy they look right there and then, telling them to come. And once that orgasm finally comes, it hurts Artemis hard. Their voice is hoarse, so it isn’t loud, but their entire body shakes and they almost black out from the intensity. Tugger fucks them through their orgasm, thrusts that grow erratic and he comes with a low growl as Artemis clenches around him. 
This type of play is pretty hard on both of them, so they don’t indulge in this very often. But when they do, it makes them feel even closer both physically and mentally. 
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lovelyisadora · 3 years
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Hmm do u have any hcs abt milo + marcia after he comes back in flyte? Maybe his reaction to the whole "stayed in zeldas cottage in the swamp then spent a month in the worst dungeon in the castle and also nearly died like 6 times" thing 👀 also maybe them from fyre onwards abdjdbfjr also marcia is my favourite too so I will never be annoyed that ur hcs are marcia-centric 😌😌
post flyte:
· milo has no expectations upon his return to the castle. most likely, there isn’t anyone who even remembers him. he wants to see his daughter, and maybe—maybe—find out what happened to marcia. there is no doubt in his mind that she’s still alive. she has always been capable of taking care of herself and he knows alther would never let anything happen to her. but when marcia had suddenly and with no warning ended their relationship, she had said she never wanted to speak to him again and she does not say things she does not mean. he doubts a decade has changed her mind, so he has no plans to seek her out personally. but then it’s marcia who is extraordinary wizard and not alther and suddenly he can’t breathe. to make everything worse, she is staring at him as if he is a ghost and then she hugs him, as if she never told him she didn’t love him.
· after the confusion with his daughter—jenna, the heaps named her, which isn’t what cerys wanted, but milo likes it—he hesitantly seeks marcia out again. if she never wanted to speak to him again, she wouldn’t have embraced him so hard. he needs to know what happened in the decade he was gone and there isn’t anyone else he can ask. she hardly looks at him as she tells him that it was a double assassination. that alther and cerys died the same night. he tries to get her to tell the rest. why do the heaps have his daughter. where was she that night. was she safe. were they all safe. but marcia isn’t talking.
· he has to learn what happened from the others. his daughter reluctantly tells him how marcia took her away from her parents—the heaps, she corrects herself, uncomfortable—to save her life. that together they saved her brother from the snow. that they lived in the marshes together, and then jenna doesn’t want to talk anymore either. silas asks him if he can convince marcia to see a doctor, and when milo asks why, silas shuts his mouth. “sorry, I thought marcia had—nevermind.”
· marcia doesn’t know what to think about his return. she truly thought he was dead, but now that he isn’t, everything is muddled. she had never meant it when she told him she didn’t love him. that she never wanted to speak to him again. she had only said it because he wanted children, a marriage, and he was never going to get it from her. she tries not speaking to him if only to protect herself—she is still head over heels after all this time, and whatever his feelings for her, he won’t feel that way once he sees what she’s become. but it’s hard. it’s so, so hard. because all he has to do is smile lopsidedly, all he has to do is laugh, and—“oh,” marcia thinks. “fuck.”
· marcia thinks she is so clever but milo knows her. she isn’t fooling him. she is thinner than he remembers her, bonier. she walks as if her bones were broken and put back together wrong. she avoids any mention of the decade he was gone. he tries—“marcia, why did silas think you needed to see a doctor,”—but marcia always has an excuse. she has a headache. septimus has a lesson. “goodbye, milo.”
· the only reason milo leaves again when cerys appears to him and begs him to seek out the jinn to protect their daughter is because jenna doesn’t want anything to do with him and he cannot get through to marcia. he doesn’t know where they stand. he doesn’t know if they’re friends, if they’re anything. he isn’t even sure if he can say that she’s talking to him, because she isn’t, not really. when he tells her he’s leaving again, though, it gets her attention. “you’ll say goodbye before you go?” she asks, and it’s means everything to him. his heart flutters. “and I’ll write,” he promises, and finally—finally—he has gotten her to smile.
post fyre:
· marcia was never jealous over his time spent with hildegard. she’s angry with herself and taking it out on him. a few months after his return he told her that he wouldn’t do this, whatever they were, with her again because he refuses to let her make decisions for him or shut him out. if they weren’t ever going to talk, he was done. if he was with hildegard, it meant he was done. it meant she took too long to sort herself out. but that turns out to not be the case, and while she’s still not sure where they stand, a few weeks after everything settles back to normal she seeks him out. “I’m not okay,” she finally admits, after years of pretending that she was. “I’m not okay and I don’t know if I ever will be, but I want this,” and marcia tells him everything.
· by this point milo has pieced together enough over the last few years to know what happened to her, even if she’s never said it herself. it’s how he knows to grab her hand in the lift, it’s how he knows to help her down the stairs after she and jenna have defeated the ring wizards. he is able to sit there and listen to her with minimal tears even though it fucking hurts, even though he's still horrified for everything she’s endured, for everything literally no one else knows about.
· they don’t really date the second time around, but he still takes her to the little theater in the ramblings. she’d liked it well enough years ago, and she likes it well enough now. he also steals her away from her desk for long walks, and slowly—so slowly—she gets over her fear of the water. he can even manage to get her to sit on the riverbank with him and dip her feet in.
· the first time she’s on his ship she’s terrified and it’s so painfully obvious, but they do not leave the quay and they do not go below deck and he holds her hands the entire time. it gets easier and easier after that
· after seven years, milo decides to return home. he hasn’t been back since he left as a young man. he casually brings this up to marcia. he wants her to go with him, and she understands what this is. this is a proposal. “milo, I am never going to go with you,” she says, and he is silent for a long time. then he presses a kiss to her fingers and steps away from her. he is going anyway. it may be some time before he comes back. this is it, then, and while he does see her again in the weeks before he leaves, it’s different.
· hours after he leaves, marcia is in a meeting with other wizards and cannot stop thinking about it. she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her, why it’s so difficult for her to be happy. she frowns, because really, what’s stopping her from being happy? why not go with milo? she can’t fuck anything up any more than she already has, he’s proven that time and time again. she’s the healthiest she’s ever been, the castle hasn’t had a crisis in years, septimus is adept enough he can hold his own for a few months, and jenna can manage just fine without her. “I’m sorry madame marcia, are we boring you?” one of the wizards sneers, interrupting her thoughts, and marcia stands abruptly, mind made up. “yes,” she says bluntly, and leaves because she is going to take a risk. she is going to be vulnerable. she is going to do something she wants to do for once, and where is septimus because someone will need to know where she’s going.
· milo laughs when his ship arrives in the first port and marcia is there to greet him. he spins her around and she kisses him and “let’s get married,” she says, and that is that
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princemick-archive · 2 years
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Can you please make a list of the drivers and tell what you think about each of them. Only if you want to, but I am curious. 😽
...alright, okay, whole grid under the tab ya'll also if i say I hate someone rn and I start saying I love them tmmr dont be surprised my brain does that sometimes
charles: I genuinly like charles, seems like a good person w an insane amount of talent genuinly enjoy watching him drive a lot, one of my favs on the grid.
carlos: ......I am a culer. I do not like this man.
max: I, ugh, I love fanon max if that counts for fucking anything, irl max makes me uncomfortable but I get it, he has a weird charm but yeah just no. also dont really enhoy the way he races so that also doesn't make up for him being a dick.
checo: I dont have to much of an opinion on him but I like how respectful and kind he seems to be all the time. also incredible driver!
lando: listen ya'll okay..........I used to simp, I dont like him a lot rn, he just gives me bad vibes, he just feels to much like a 15 yr old gamer boy and I do not enjoy that. I like him w max and dan a lot tho
dan: BABIE BOOYYYYYYY. one of my favorite drivers on the grid, incredible driver, fantastic human. my favorite in my hyperfixactions are always the optimistic flirty lil bitch and that him, he is just so wonderful he makes me very !!!
lewis: king, one of the best to ever do it, style icon. yeah just, I mean its lewis, pretty high maintenaince man who gets what the fuck is going on in the world and isnt afraid to say it.
george: I dont like care about this man at all, he doesnt give me good or bad vibes, he exists, he looks like he wouldnt know what I meant if I would ask him to hold my drink as I go to the bathroom
esteban: noddle man who jsut seems genunly kind. I really like him, dont know to much abt him but the bit I do is just him seeminly being a good and kind person who just a lil dramatic and I love that for him
nando: stupid old slut man who I despise deeply (affectionate)
pierre: I hate how attracted I am to this man but hes an incredible driver and the way he carries himself is just, so hot. so uh, thumbs up.
yuki: I dont feel to much abt him but he seems wonderful and kind and I genuinly think hes an incredible driver and I hope he gets to show that more this season.
lance: no real opinon, rich boy, kinda shit driver, who doesn't seem like to like driving. eh. other people deserve that seat more.
seb: *holds gently* my beloved little idiot man I love you so much you stupid lil freak. he needs a haircut.
val: yes
guanyu: funky lil fashion man who goes zoom well. thumbs up.
nicky: look at lance opinion. Just like him a bit more because he genuinely seems to enjoy driving and is actually pretty okay when you look at his junior career.
alex: wonderful man! he is so good so soft so kind, I like him a lot he just gives off such good vibes.
kev: a whole man and a half whos completely fucking insane and exactly my kinda guy for that, love him so wonderful so supportive.
mick: I..........d-do u even want me to start. litteraly my favorite person on the grid for so so so many reasons. the way he holds himelf, the way he is socially aware the way he has so much pressure on him and is still able to have fun and live a life and do what he does and be kind and he so incredible, the way he cares so muhc about everyone on his team and helps out and makes sure everyones okay i just.....I love him but I need him to break and go mad schumi please and thank you.
alright, feel free to disagree or try and convince me otherwise in my asks im open for change unless its abt mick, if u dont like mick the fuck r u doing on my blog fr.
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barnesbabee · 4 years
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Promise? || K.H
Summary: From best-friends, to enemies, to lovers. What else?
Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Reader
Words: 3k-ish?
Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff
A/N: I’m not good at soft stuff, so if you hate it give me a break please
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ᴄʀ: ʙᴀʀɴᴇꜱʙᴀʙᴇᴇ
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 Being in love is tough, everyone knows this, but being in love and having to keep it to yourself, being in love and having to watch the man of your eyes every day and not being able to do anything... It broke your heart. It was the classic "I fell in love with my best-friend" scenario, and you were so, so scared. You didn't want to tell him, not cause you thought for a second he'd stop talking to you or ignore you, far from that, but because you knew that the second you confessed your feelings, he'd become conscious and nervous about every little thing he did. If the hug he gave you was too intimate and he'd be leading you on, if he touched you too much, if he didn't give you enough attention, if he gave you too much attention... And you didn't want that kind of stress, so you backed away. 
  You let life go on as usual, and it was so damn hard. Hongjoong's beautiful, innocent smile, his glistening eyes, his prominent jawline, and even his small hands that would often meet your own made your heart jump out of your chest, and you prayed to God that it went away.
  To your dismay however, your heartbreak came sooner than expected. A couple of months after you accepted the idea that you loved that man more than you're supposed to, he introduced you to a girl. A beautiful girl by the name Areum. Her hair was short and dark, and she had bangs that almost covered her almond-coloured eyes.  Her skin was spotless, she was almost Hongjoong's height and she had a slim figure. 
  Although he had introduced her as a friend, you knew he didn't think of her like that, and it didn't take long before he finally started introducing her as his girlfriend. You had to smile through the pain, but you were happy for him and cheered him on of course- the absolute glee and joy in his expression as he talked about her couldn't be mistaken, he really loved that girl.
  And because you had no luck, the shit hit the fan pretty quickly. Areum became jealous of you, and she began restricting the contact between you and Hongjoong. It started as "forbidding" kisses on the cheek (even though Hongjoon still sneaked in one here and there), then hugging, then almost being near him. It made you furious that she was trying to push you two apart, but you didn't speak about it, you wanted Hongjoong to be happy.
  One day though, it all went down the drain. The girl forced Hongjoong to cancel your movie night, and you were beyond furious. You and him had been waiting for the Black Widow movie to come to the cinemas for months, and now you’d have to enhoy it alone because she was insecure!? Certainly not on your watch, you could tell when things spiraled out of control.
  You stayed back after school to talk to her. You knew she always stayed extra time in school to study since Hongjoong always bragged about how hard-working she was. You made your way to the library, looked all around, waited, and nothing... 
  Great.
  You'd just spent a whole hour in school for no reason.
  You started making your way home, and as per usual you passed by the school's field so you could make your way to the back of the school, where the road that led to your house was located, but a couple of moans and groans caught your attention.
  Someone was making out underneath the benches! It was none of your business, but you wanted to check out the secret couple going at it in school, because let’s face it, you were nosy.
  As soon as your eyes made contact with the couple you felt like imploding and exploding at the same time. It was Areum with some guy that definitely wasn't your Hongjoong. You covered your mouth and ran from the scene and to your home.
  You didn't know what to do. It wasn't your relationship, you shouldn't butt in... But it was your best friend and he deserved to know the truth... But you didn't want to break his heart...
  You let yourself slide down the wall until you were sitting on the floor with your knees to your chest, and grasped the sides of your head out of despair.
  You had no idea what would be best, but you decided to tell Hongjoong. It was heartbreaking, but it was the truth. You called him up and waited for him to pick up.
  "Y/N? Come on, if this is about the movie you know I can't go and I've apologized-"
  "You need to come over."
  "What?"
  "Come over. I have something really important to tell you."
  He sighed from the other side.
  "Y/N I don't know if it's a good choice to go over."
 "Hongjoong can you please just get here?"
  He finally agreed and after a painful ten minutes of waiting, he was knocking on your door. You took him to your bedroom and you both sat down on your bed. Hongjoong looked at you expectantly as you took a deep breath and chose your words carefully. Ultimately you decided that there was no easy way to say this, and that you should just be frank and straightforward about it.
"Areum is cheating on you."
Those five words hit Hongjoong like a truck. He didn't move for a second, and when he did his head turned to you slightly and his face showed disbelief and betrayal.
"What?" He simply asked.
 You took a deep breath before explaining.
 "I was coming back home late from school," you omitted the original reason why you were even in school as it wasn't relevant "and when I passed by the school's field I heard someone under the benches and when I checked it out it was Areum, with some other guy..."
  Hongjoong was enraged. But a type of anger you had never seen in his face before. It was a mix of disgust and indignation. 
  "How dare you!?"
  He yelled at you and stood up, fists clenched beside his body. You were shocked by his stupid reaction. You followed him and stood up.
  "Excuse me!?" You asked, perplexed.
  "How dare you even imply that she would cheat on me!? Areum would never do something like that, you're just saying that because you're jealous!"
  Your heart was shattered into a million pieces upon hearing those words. How could he take her side in this story? How did your best-friend of years not believe you? And most importantly, how could he say something so hurtful to you?
You held back your tears and tried to speak, even though your throat was burning.
  "I don't know if you're in denial or just in the mood to be an ass, but I know what I saw. Areum is unfaithful and you should bring it up to her or you're going to get hurt!"
  He stepped closer to you and looked you in the eye, pure rage displaying on his own.
  "Don't you dare say those things about her, or even imply that she'd do it."
  You were left speechless.
  Upon obtaining no response Hongjoong turned away and left your house, making sure to slam the door as he stepped out. You immediately sunk to your knees and let the tears fall.
 You dreaded for the next day, but it came nevertheless. You sat in class and Hongjoong's seat was empty, which you thought was weird. He didn't usually miss class... For a second you hoped that he had actually brought it up to Areum and he just felt bad about the truth. You grabbed your phone, ready to text him, when the door to your classroom opened. Hongjoong entered, followed by Areum, and bowed to apologize for being late.
  They were both smiling and your eyes immediately darted to the purple marks on Hongjoong's neck. Your heart sank at the view.
  "Hongjoong." You called in a whisper.
  He turned around and glared at you.
  "I thought I made it clear yesterday that I don’t want to speak to you."
  You couldn't take it. It was too much. You could handle your heart being broken, your feelings getting ignored, and being stepped on, but you certainly couldn't handle Hongjoong treating you like this.
  He was your ray of sunshine, he had always been there even when you lost control, and this wasn't him. 
  You ran out. You didn't even think, you just... ran. You took nothing with you, just your phone that happened to be on the pockets of the jacket you were wearing. Your legs stopped when you reached your bedroom. 
  You were sobbing loudly and think streaks of water fell down your cheeks. Your mother, who had come home early, ran up the stairs, concerned about you.
  "Y/N? Y/N what happened are you okay!?"
  The woman kelt beside you and pat your back while her eyes scanned your body for any visible injuries.
  You tried to explain it, through your sobs and sniffles, but barely anything came out. 
  "Breathe, Y/N. It's okay..."
  Your mom hugged you, trying to calm you down. Eventually, when you were able to talk, you spoke to her.
  "Please, let me move in with dad and go to school there."
  Your dad was temporarily living somewhere else in Korea because of work, and "somewhere else" seemed just like where you needed to go.
  Your mom was a little sad to hear this plea of yours, but after hearing the explanation, and after seeing how much pain you were in, she agreed to let you finish the last term with your dad.
 The next day you didn't show up to school, and two days later you had already asked for transference. 
  By the beginning of the following week you were living with your dad and ready for the new school. When your dad saw you, you looked like a different person. You were gloomy, you had a blank expression at all times and it worried him.
  Back home, Hongjoong hadn't even noticed you had moved, but he was about to, and in the worst way. 
  Hongjoong had decided to reward his girlfriend for her hard work, and he showed up later in school with some snacks for them to share. And he found her working hard for sure, working hard on undoing some random guy's belt.
  When he didn't find her in the library, a little red flag waved in his head and he decided to check the field, like you had told him. There, he saw exactly what he dreaded: his girlfriend, Areum, with some guy that wasn't him.
  He threw the food onto the floor and tore the two of them apart. He didn't care who the man was, Areum was the one cheating on him. Hongjoong didn't even know what to feel.
  "Why?" Was all he could manage.
  "Hongjoong, you're very sweet and caring but... I need more. You never tease me, you never try anything, and I'm almost taller than you, what am I gonna do when the time comes? Pet you?"
  Hongjoong was incredulous, humiliated and most of all, in pain. His mind went blank for a second, before the image of your face flashed in his head. He had to apologize to you. He made sure to tell Areum how disgusting of a human being she was and how they weren’t dating anymore for sure, and then sprinted over to your house and knocked on the door loudly. Your mom opened the door, and as soon as she laid eyes on Hongjoong, her face displayed a gelid feeling.
  "May I help you?" She asked.
  "I need to talk to Y/N, please..."
  She huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
  "You came a little too late Hongjoong, she moved."
  Hongjoong couldn't believe it... He was so deep in his denial that he had hurt you to the point of you moving away... The next weeks he spent desperately trying to contact you, but of course you had done everything in your power to stop that from happening, you wanted to leave everything behind and start anew...
  The both of you spent the last few months of school miserably. You both felt alone. Hopeless. Helpless. In pain. 
  But there was nothing to do now, Hongjoong had messed it up and he'd forever have to live with the burden of losing you.
  Both of you eventually enrolled in a college and got in. You secretly hoped you could leap into Hongjoong's arms and have him spin you around like the old times, to celebrate it, but that was buried in the past (or so it seemed).
  However, on the very first day, as if by destiny, there you were. Standing a couple meters from Hongjoong. You were both immobile in the middle of the hallway, staring deep into each other's eyes, crying a million silent apologies at each other. When Hongjoong opened his mouth to speak, you turned away, and he realized just an "I'm sorry" wouldn't do the trick. He had been extremely insensitive to you, and he thought he could live with that, but he couldn't handle seeing you every day and not holding you. He didn't want to.
  As time went by, he found himself reminiscing the old days, and he quickly began missing the sweet way you'd caress his cheek, the way you'd brush his hair with your hands, the way you hugged him tightly... Everything.
  And every second that passed, it became unbearable to not be around you. The way you smiled at small things surrounding you, the way you had let your hair grow, the way you'd still let yourself get distracted by every little thing. He missed you so goddamn much.
  One day he stopped being able to just watch. He didn't dare talk to you, however, and he hated that. But he poured his feelings in a letter, describing how sorry he was, how he never stopped loving his best friend, and how he missed the duo.
  Hongjoong found out which dorm was yours and he slid the letter through the door, then going back to his own dorm.
  He was sitting on his desk when someone knocked on his door. He opened it, not knowing who it could possibly be, to find you with red, puffy eyes and a clenched jaw. You threw the letter in his face.
  "Are you kidding me!?" Your voice was shaky as you yelled at him.
  His breath hitched immediately, and his words were caught in his throat. Initially he raised his hands to wipe away your wet cheeks, but he decided not to. Hongjoong didn't speak and gave you time to let out all your frustrations.
  "I can't believe you. I tolerated when that bitch stole you, I tolerated when you canceled shit because of her, and then when I try to look out for you and protect you, you humiliated me! You belittled me and took her side instead of mine and refused to talk to me the next day. Do you realize how broken I was!? You were my everything! I loved you so, so much. And not just in the way you think. But I swallowed all that and tried to move on. Now you're here and you apologize via letter? What, did the smoke signals not work!?"
  Hongjoong didn't quite know what to say, but he had to speak.
  "Y/N, you don't know how sorry I am, okay? I couldn't live with myself for so long after I found out you were right, I hated myself. But I had never experienced what I was experiencing with Areum, I didn't want to believe what you were saying. I was so, so mad that I hurt you so much, and if you don't want to forgive me, I understand, but I'm begging you here, I need you."
 There was silence, and the tension between you was rising. You looked into his pitiful eyes.
  "Did you miss me?"
  This question took him by surprise. He expected you to yell at him, tell him you hated him, or even just leave without another word and never talk to him again.
  Hongjoong chuckled at your question.
  "If I missed you? Y/N, I cried myself to sleep every night. I messaged your deleted accounts every day. I had to take down every picture of us on the walls because the pain of possibly not seeing you ever again was too much. I lost myself when I let you go."
  That was all you needed to hear. You embraced his body and held him tightly. It took him only a couple of seconds to hug you back, and both of you stood like that for a long time.
  It was like half of you had been repositioned and you couldn't be happier. When you pulled away his hands rested on your hips and yours played with the hair on his nape that had grown considerably. You looked into each other's eyes: you were both smiling and crying. and your cheeks had a red tint to them.
  You two giggled at your silliness like you were kids, but the feeling instantly dropped to something else. Your eyes simultaneously darted to the other's lips, and you couldn’t resist each other, it had been way too long. 
  You moved your lips against his softly, and you didn't know if it was because you had missed him so much or if because you'd wanted this your whole life but he tasted so much better than you had ever imagined.
  You pulled away, and there was not a trace of doubt in either of your faces, you wanted this. Hongjoong smirked and closed the door behind you while pushing you on the bed.
  The luck seemed to be on your side for once, and the guy whom Hongjoong shared his dorm with was out with his parents that had come to visit him, so you were free to do whatever you wanted.
  He hovered on top of you for a second, before you grabbed his neck and pulled him down, so your lips were connected once more. You had always been the boldest out of the two of you, and that applied even in this situation it seemed.
  You slipped your tongue in his mouth as hips were grinding against yours. You moaned into the kiss, and you could feel a tent forming in his pants, and the pressure of his crotch on yours increased.
  Eventually, he slid his hand under your shirt and pulled it off. He stared at your bra and blushed a little. You just chuckled and caressed his cheek, then proceeding to remove your bra for him. 
  He blushed harder, but tried to hide the fact by kissing down your jaw and neck, leaving and few bites here and there. You tugged on his hoodie and he removed it quickly, exposing his chest as well. 
  His lips then teased around your right nipple, before taking it into his mouth as your fingers tangled in his hair.
  While this went down, one of your hands sneaked down and palmed his hard cock through his shorts. He moaned onto your skin as you applied more pressure on your hand.
  He pulled away from you and his breaths grew heavy.
  "Keep going, please..." He begged.
  You pulled your hand away and sat up in the bed, pulling him down in the process and straddling him. You brought your lips to his as you rubbed your womanhood against his hard-on. 
  His hands gripped your waist tightly and you were both moaning onto the kiss.
  "Please, please Y/N..."
  He pleaded, almost out of breath, when you pulled away. He didn't have to say it twice as you were as desperate for it as he was. 
  You stripped from the rest of your clothing and the man did the same. You sat on his thighs and looked at him for a second. You were both a little nervous, but you were sure this was what you wanted.
  Hongjoong lifted you as you aligned his cock with your entrance, and he slowly lowered you on his hard member.
  Both of your mouths were agape and eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. Hongjoong moaned as he watched you sink on him, while you threw your head back and called for his name. 
  With the help of Hongjoong, you moved up and down on his dick. His hips eventually started thrusting into you harder, and his fingers sunk in your hips.
  You grabbed his wrists and moaned louder for him, as you were about to climax. His thrusts became sloppier as he was about to come as well.
  You locked eyes, and you realized how beautiful he looked: glazed, hungry eyes devouring your figure, mouth agape moaning because of you, beads of sweat rolling down his face and his bangs stuck to his forehead.
  Your walls clenched around him and you came, with a loud cry for his name. He then hurriedly removed himself from you and pumped his dick a few times, before coming all over your chest and stomach.
  He was a little embarrassed about the mess he'd made, but you just laughed it off and plopped beside him.
  The two of you were silent for a while, trying to calm down and catch your breaths, and then he held out his pinky finger.
  "Promise to never leave me again?" He asked, hopeful.
  You smiled and linked your pinky with his.
  "Promise."
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lennydaisy · 4 years
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!The Book Review That No One Asked For! !I Didn’t Say I Was Good At Reviews!
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WARNING! There might be spoilers but I’ll try and keep it to a minimum...
Welcome to my bookclub🌼 where we complete one book every blue moon! Today’s review that no one asked for is about the amazing book that is ‘The Midnight Lie’ by Marie Rutkoski.
When I say that this book was constantly on my mind after reading a chapter I mean it was constantly on my mind 24/7.
Calling all Sapphics: READ THIS MASTERPIECE!!
So here’s my shitty explaintion and opinion of what I understand and read...
Set in the beautiful city of Ethin which has a mysterious history that no one on the island seems to know anything about. We follow the protagonist, Nirrim, who seems pretty comfortable with her current life situation despite living in the very bland and home of the lower social class, The Ward. A place secluded away from the rest of the city by a huge wall.
So basically this mad bird called the Elysian bird goes rouge from its owner and is fly all over the city. And the poor, rich old lady wants her pet back and is giving an award, I think??? But I’ll get back to that later...
Anyway, a couple rooftops later and we’re in prison and this is where we meet the mysterious Sid. I love Sid. And so will you, I’m willing to bet the only £5 I have to my name on it.
So, Nirrim can’t actually see Sid because the cell is really dark, but basically when they get out of jail Nirrim sees boobies and goes ‘ohhhhhhhh’ and Sid goes ‘yeahhhhhh’ and Nirrim goes ‘cool’.
Now when I say that Sid is smooth, I mean she is smooth. She literally just proved, on sentence at a time, that I am not straight. She’s so charming and dreamy and I can’t blame Nirrim for chasing after her because I would too.
Ummmm, so Nirrim has like a mild case of Stockholm syndrome when it comes to her guardian Raven and I hate this bitch so much. I am struggling to put into words my distaste for this lady.
Sid saves Nirrim from Raven with the promise of an adventure and Nirrim of course says Yes!! And that where all the tension rises. Like just kiss already.... please.
Sid is a liar, but a hot liar so it’s okay. Nirrim is just whipped and also in denial-kinda... same.
I don’t have much else to say because I think everyone should read this book and I have purposefully missed out sooooo much information for that very reason.
So, in conclusion... Sid come and collect your girl she’s gone a bit- a bit weird.
No one will probably read this rubbish post about this masrerpiece of a book, but I enhoyed writng it anyways.
Yah, BYE.
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queersette · 4 years
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Man, that "drive a truck into the water while the radio croons" is one of my favourite scenes. But I honestly always loved Man From U.N.C.L.E. exactly /because/ of the enemies to absolute allies that Illya and Solo go through! (Coupled with the distinct /lack/ of anyone actually putting the moves on Gabby and letting her be in charge of those vibes, while the boys cook and buy accessories for her)
Yes! no you are right I’m just going to ramble a bit and explain my tags and stuff but as a warning I’ve only ever talked about this so my written thoughts may be all over the place and also I am too excited to talk about man from uncle
I Also really really enhoy the enemies to allies arc Illya and Solo go through, I think it’s super interesting and well done and I really wouldn’t have it any other way however I do think that it is an interesting choice to base the movie reboot around the team coming together when the original man from uncle series is about Illya and Napoleon being partners and being international spies fighting THRUSH together (and in fact Illya wasn’t originally part of the main cast but their chemistry on screen in the pilot episode meant that he became the other main character), and like on the one hand I get that it’s got more drama and a “will they won’t they be able to work together” vibe which seems similar to other reboots around the time, like for example the star trek movies where they also made the relationship between Kirk and Spock more anatgonistic which, in my opinion, seems to be about changing these male friendships into bickering more antagonistic ones because of “we can’t have people think that they’re *gasp* gay!” even though probably to a lesser extent in man from uncle because the Point is that they do become absolute allies who would betray their country for the other by the end of the movie so yes! I hope that explained a bit of what I was going for in my tags as well as the fact that I Do love the movie for what it is doing and I’m incredibly invested in the progression that they go on and the both saving the other from certain death/torture stuff (and also when I say that “it doesn’t work” in the movie I mean that when talking about adapting a 60s tv show centred around two agents who are friends and partners whilst also being American and Russian rather than it not working in the movie)
And yes! I love Gaby! I have previously recorded a 9.5 minute long voice message to my friend about Gaby! I definitely think the fact that the movie posits her as Illya’s love interest but also doesn’t, as you say, have anyone putting the moves onto her is really interesting! and cool! and she’s honestly having a good time being in control of the vibes, and especially with her also being a agent it makes the whole thing into like! she’s also playing The Game and doing really well at it, only helped by the fact the boys don’t know that there is another player.
And yeah like, I know that my experience of the movie and also what I enjoy from it is also heavily influenced by my own experience of it? it’s really a comfort piece of media for it and I have fixated on it for a couple of months evert year for the past couple of years, and like I personally relate to and project a lot onto the character of Napoleon Solo for various reasons that would add another 3 paragraphs and like both of those together end up being like “I’ve decided what I enjoy out of this film and will continue returning to those and whilst I don’t want to read criticisms of the movie I have some personal issues or opinions that colour my experience as well”
Also just, I’m fixating on it and I Will Make Bad Memes Freckle! No One Has Stopped Me Yet!!
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unhuman-feeling · 5 years
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I really wanted to have a fic finished for Trick or Pete this year, but unfortunately, uni is kicking my ass and I wasn’t able to get past 300 words lol.
The fic that I never wrote was based off this picture. I got a new drawing device at the beginning of the month (very exciting!!!) and this was one of the first things I drew with it. I never did finish the fic, but I wanted you to have the picture because I was happy with it and that doesn’t happen often rswgbersklhn.
The fic was about Pete and Patrick going trick or treating, despite the fact that they were just a little-bit-too-old for that now. Patrick was new to town, and having lived most of his life underneath the watchful eye of his religious helicopter parents, he’d never had the chance to go out on halloween before. Pete, having heard that, was appauled, and snuck him out of his house to go.
He told him to wear a red shirt, and had found a pair of devil horns at the dollar store for a makeshift costume. The closest that Patrick had was a dark orange, but that didn’t matter.
They trick or treated that night, running back and forth between houses, nearly getting caught by Patrick’s Mom a couple of times, but it’s the most adventurous thing that Patrick’s ever done and he can’t get enough of the thrill. They slowly gather more candy, and visit a grounded-Joe and a babysitting-duty-Andy, with flashback scenes to some very cute flirting over the past few weeks at school.
The fic was going to finish with a kiss, suddenly interrupted by the roar of Patrick’s Mom’s car’s engine, who drags her son away from his night of adventure, but Patrick doesn’t mind by then. He’s wearing a smile bigger than one he’s ever worn before, and the warm glow in his stomach won’t fade anytime soon.
So that was the fic. If anyone wants to actually write the thing, go for it my dudes. I’m sorry I didn’t get it finished, but I hope you at least enhoyed the three paragraph summary??? I’m working on major assignments at the moment and trying not to drown, but we’ll see how we go
Big love <3. Can’t wait to read everyone else’s halloween fics once I get my consumer behavior assignment done!
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dolphin-enthusiast · 4 years
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May I get a matchup please? I've never done this before, but I'm really curious as to who I'd be matched with! I'm a straight female who is a perpetually tired college student. I'm studying to be a game artist (because I love video games and art), which means I'm stuck at my desk or laptop 25/8 because I also have personal projects that I am working on. My zodiac sign is Scorpio. My favorite color is blue, so I love walking on the beach or (1/4) 🌟
"going to aquariums. I also love space, and looking at the stars. I plan to go back to school to get a PhD in Astronomy/Astrophysics someday! I'm also trying to teach myself Japanese and Italian.   My personality type is INFJ-T, also called the Advocate. I've been told by my managers that I'm very affable. I've also been called wise by my friends, despite being young. I'm the one they call when they're having a bad day, and need an ear to vent to (2/4) 🌟
(but I have a hard time talking about my own problems without feeling guilty about it). I'm also highly creative and intelligent, but I have a problem of working too much and procrastinating. As a result I tend to feel a mixture of burnout and non-burnout from time to time. I hate crying in front of others, and hate showing that vulnerableness, so if you ever see it that means I trust you very deeply. I like going out to the places I stated above and also museums, observatories, (3/4) 🌟
and conventions some day, but I also like staying home and working on my personal projects or just relaxing. I don't mind pda from a partner, but I'm just as fine being in the same room together as we do our own thing. I value friendship just as deeply as romantic intimacy, and for a partner I can not have that intimacy without the foundation of friendship. I hope that's good! I tried looking up your rules and can't find them so please let me know if I did something wrong ;; (4/4) 🌟"
I match you with...
BRUNO!
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You sound like a really hardworking and determined person and that is something that he appreciates in people. Much like you he also has a BIG habit of overworking himself and totally understands you whenever you insist that you must continue your work no matter what, yet he'd still remind you to take care of yourself and will go all mom on you (he really does need to take his own advice though.)
He loves your creative side and appreciates how wise and understanding you are. While he's glad that you're a good listener and that he can always vent to you, he will always let you know that you can talk to him about anything and will tell you to never feel guilty for it. On top of that he gives superb advice as well. On another note he finds your fascination with stars and astrology overall pretty interesting and would enhoy going to museums and observatories with you. Anything science related is game to him!
He too values friendships just as much as romantic relationships despite not being too trustful of others. But nonetheless he is glad that you have the same mindset as him. Not to mention that while he isn't too big on pda he does love relaxing with you quietly and cuddling you on the couch/bed!
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"Sing me to sleep, I don't want to wake up on my own anymore."
— Asleep, The Smiths
I have my first day of menstruation today but I still manage to ride my bike. It was my first time biking uphill to west end. My chest was burning once I got on the top. I also brought my camera so I can take pictures. I tried but I am not satisfied with my shots though. But it's okay because I really enhoyed just riding around, listening to music and being part of the nature. It is a nice day. I was supposed to go to a temporary theme park but my lazy ass held me back. Maybe I can do it later this coming week. Then I showered and do some work stuff. I hope I could finish it this week end.
I still can't get over her. I still go back to those months when we arent jaded of each other. I miss her voice. Maybe I can only miss her. Will I ever see her again? ~0928
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zukoromantic · 5 years
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Late Secret Santa 2018
So I am technically a week too late with this, but better late than never... right??
MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES!!!
This is for the DuckTales secret santa thing and I got @im-sacred67 !! (They seem like a really cool person, I hope you have a merry christmas my friend uwu!) Along with a couple of other things they enhoy the Webby x Lena which is mY JAM so here we go.
So at this point Webby and ONLY Webby knows that Lena is her shadow. I went for that as I didn't want to fill this thing with my angsty headcanons, I figured that wouldn't make for a nice tone as a gift. SO HERE WE GO I GUESS??I hope you somehow enjoy this, whoops
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"Webby, that's... still not actually how you're supposed to do it, I told you." Huey cringed at the sight of Webby landing safely in front of him after decorating the giant Christmas tree in a way that others would have considered 'dangerous'.
Dewey who had been hanging some candy canes on the lower branches of the tree took a few steps back until he was standing next to his brother. He took a look at their work. "I think it looks awesome", was all he commented.
One look at Huey made Webby be able to tell he was more than ready to contradict that statement. Before even being able to open his bill however, Donald approached from behind and wrapped his arms around the two of the trio.
"Ooh", he started, "we're not gonna fight on Christmas day. I think the tree looks-", he paused for a second. "Um, very pretty!"
Webby had to supress a grin at Huey rolling his eyes.
"Don't be so down, Hubert. There is no wrong way to get Christmas spirit into the house. Or - the mansion I guess."
In that moment the door was being opened in a loud manner.
"Hey everyone!"
"Hey Launchpad!", Dewey greeted him back.
"The tree's looking great once again!", the pilot said.
Webby watched as everyone started talking and chatting about this special gathering. She decided this was the perfect time to withdraw from the group. "I'm, uh, gonna go", she said, knowing nobody noticed anyway during the mess that their talking seemed like.
Without anyone following her she went upstairs to her room. Once she had entered she locked the door and breathed out in relief.
As she took a few steps forward she made sure to keep an eye on her shadow until the light was behind her in a way that made it appear on the wall in front of her.
"Lena?"
No response.
"Lena", Webby said now with more certainty. "I know you can hear me."
She watched as her own shadow started to change its figure and turned into the silhouette of her best friend. It wasn't an unfamiliar sight by now yet it still never failed to amaze her.
Even when she started to speak it gave Webby a weird feeling. "What is it?", she asked, slight anger in het voice.
"Lena, do you really not want to celebrate Christmas with us? It's gonna be so much fun, I promise!"
Lena sighed. "Webby, I really don't. You know I never celebrated Christmas before and I don't want to make everything awkward. Besides, do you think now is the right time to tell everyone that the shadow of your uncle's greatest enemy is still around? In... in a way at least..."
A frown formed upon Webby's face. So far Lena had not wanted to tell anyone that she was still present. She had said that she didn't want to upset anyone. At least not yet. Webby knew that was stupid and still she had to respect her best friend's decision. However that did not mean she couldn't try and talk her into reason.
"But it's so magical!", she insisted. The Duck family had seen more questionable things during their adventures, an old friend returning would not spoil the mood, she was convinced. Celebrating without the whole family present - or at least as present as could be - did not feel right. Lena was a part of the family, despite what she thought.
"I believe you... I just don't feel like it, okay?"
Even by the few features that her friend had been left with Webby could see the sadness on her face. She sighed in defeat. What was the point? She wasn't going to convince Lena any time soon. And even if she could she didn't want to force her friend into doing something that she didn't feel well about. She sat down onto the red carpet of her room and just stared at the ground. "I guess I just really want you to have fun again. You know, like back before the whole Magica-taking-over-thing."
"What?", Lena asked, judging by her voice a bit shocked. "No, no, I am having fun, believe me! Don't worry about me!"
Webby raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Because being trapped in the two-dimensional world of shadows without interacting with anyone is so much fun?"
"I am interacting. With you. Remember? Besides, do you have any idea how terrible it was to constantly have aunt Magica - I mean, Magica at your throat? I wasn't free either back then, I constantly had the pressure of listening to every single stupid word she said. Now I can hang out with you and don't have to worry about her anymore in any way. It's like a vacation to be honest."
Though even the motivating look on Lena's face couldn't quite bring Webby to smile. "But - wouldn't you rather spend your time with your family? And I'm not talking about Magica. I mean the family you actually belong to. You know, us."
"You know, you keep saying I'm a part of the family. What makes you even say that? What do I even have to do with all of you in your eyes? I mean, yes the triplets are nice and I did talk to Scrooge and your grandma a bit, but - the only person I'm actually, you know, close to, is..." Lena didn't finish her sentence. She looked away. Webby wasn't sure if shadows could cry. But if they could, she was pretty sure Lena was close to it. The sadness, almost fear, in her eyes made Webby feel a stabbing pain in her chest. Lena really thought she did not fit into this family. This huge crazy family. With nephews, housekeepers and butlers. With pilots slash drivers and granddaughters of employees. Why wouldn't someone who saved all of them from certain doom and - more importantly - a close friend who meant a lot to them not have a place in this? Why couldn't Lena see that? Why didn't she see how amazing and special she really was?
"You know what?", Webby asked. "If you don't want to celebrate Christmas with a big family, then let's just spend a little more time together now. Just the two of us. You are supposed to celebrate Christmas with the people you love the most after all." As soon as those last words left Webby's bill she felt her cheeks blushing a little. She wasn't even exactly sure why.
"But isn't everyone going to wonder where you are?", Lena asled with an undertone of slight disbelief.
"Don't worry, I'm sure we still have some time. They're quite the crowd so I don't think they'll realize I'm gone too soon. Besides we were only planning to eat dinner in, like, 45 minutes."
Lena gave it a short chuckle. A sound that made Webby's heart jump. "What's so funny?", she wanted to know, grinning already.
"Oh, nothing special. This only reminded me of our first meeting. When we ruined Ma Beagle's birthday and the triplets came looking for you because you weren't at the beach anymore. They were totally freaking out at the playground."
Webby couldn't help but laugh too. "Pfft, yeah, that was fun."
As quickly as the joy had found its way into Lena's eyes however, it left them again already. "We were always having fun. Before I met you, I didn't even know what 'having fun' actually meant." She chuckled again. "Sorry, I'm being super cheesy right now."
Webby looked into her eyes. "It's okay", she said, moving a bit closer to the wall that the silhouette of her friend could be seen on.
A few seconds they just sat there, looking into each other's eyes. Webby fully took the moment in.
"Lena?", she broke the silence.
"Yeah?"
"I miss you. I miss you a lot." Webby felt like she was close to tearing up. It was true. She missed her friend so much it hurt. She missed her everyday. Every time she saw the triplets having a good time, every time she was having a good time herself. It always reminded her of how Lena couldn't be having such a good time along side her. It just didn't feel right. If they were supposed to be a team how could she be having fun while Lena was trapped on walls and floors, only catching a glimpse of this world's beauty and colors. It wasn't fair. She wished she could just tell uncle Scrooge and they would all find a solution together. After all, as one of the most famous adventurers of all time - and probably the oldest duck in the world - he had to be able to figure something out. If only Lena would let them.
"You don't have to miss me. I'm right here, remember? Actually, as your shadow, we're now closer than ever. No reason to be down", Lena was trying to cheer her up.
"I know. But you're not really... You know, actually here." Webby placed her right hand on the wall next to the image of her friend. A compassionate look on her face, Lena slowly put her own hand in that spot. It might have been her imagination but Webby was sure she could feel the hand touching her own.
"Trust me, I am here. And I mean - I'm more than honored to be your shadow."
Webby was going to smile at the comment, but she just couldn't. Not the loving words could fill the slight feeling of emptiness inside her chest. She knew it was ridiculous. Lena was right after all. She was around. Webby didn't actually need to miss her. Yet she just couldn't help but feel sad. "I do believe you", she said. "I just wish you could be here. You know. Like for a hug."
Lena startled back at that last sentence and what had felt like her hand before was now nothing more than the cold wall. As a slight wave of disappointment overcame her, Webby removed her hand from the spot as well.
"I guess", Lena said and Webby wasn't sure but she felt like what she saw in her eyes now was guilt. Guilt? Because of what? Because of Webby? Did she feel bad for her now? That wasn't how things were supposed to be. Lena was the one who needed her life back, not her. After a split second however her expression changed into a slightly more positive look. "You know... I suppose tomorrow or whenever this whole Christmas thing is wrapped up, we could, I don't know, tell Scrooge about - this whole thing. If you want to that is."
Webby gasped in excitement. Though she was suspicious as to whether Lena was just saying this out of guilt or not. "You mean it?"
"Well, you probably do have a point, don't you? I mean maybe the old man can do something after all." She began to smile while she was speaking these words. But it wasn't a forced smile that was only trying to reassure Webby. Ahe knew that smile well. This was a true smile, she could tell. And it was this moment that made her be certain that Lena was not saying this simply out of guilt. She wasn't entirely sure what that look in her friend's eyes was however. If she had to choose she would have said it was hope. Hope that perhaps she would be able to actually be around again. Not just as a shadow but as a whole being. As herself.
Webby was overcome with such a sudden wave of joy, she would have hugged Lena if it had not been for the circumstances making it quite difficult.
"You won't regret it, I promise!"
"Let's hope so." And there she was again. There was the Lena that Webby knew. Not as sad, not as scared, not as sorry. Just Lena. The sassy girl who always managed to be cool and would always be able to think of a clever come-back to anything under any circumstances. Webby could not supress a grin. That was the Lena she wanted to see again, the Lena that she hoped she was going to see more often from now on. Once she regained her physical form everything would be fine like it used to be, except better. They could go back to going on their little adventures together and Lena would finally have a family. One that actually cared about her. One that made her feel home. With all those thoughts, Webby was almost sure she cared about Lena more than she herself did. Well somebody had to.
"So, I believe you should be heading back to the others then. We don't want them worrying too much again, do we?"
"You're probably right..."
It was hard for Webby to loose her gaze from her friend, but eventually she managed to step towards the door. Before unlocking it she gave Lena one last look. She smiled.
"Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas to you too."
After she had opened the door and exited her room she checked if her friend was still there. But as she looked she had to realize that her shadow had gone back to its usual shape. There was no Lena. Just the result of the light not being able to enlighten the space behind her. It was funny to think about, considering she knew how much more to her shadow there really was. At least for now. If she was right, uncle Scrooge would know - or somehow find - a way to get Lena back her physical form. And if there was anything she was certain about as of this moment, it was that things would somehow work out. They would find a way. As family. After all, that's what they always did. That was just a fact.
Merry Christmas!!
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michaelebudd · 6 years
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Time.
This post instantaneously got deleted as sson as i posted it so i guess im just gonna have to fucking wrote it again. Fuck tumblr thanks. It wont be as good as the fucking gold that i wrote before but thats fucking fine.
I increasingly find it difficult to make time for the things/ relatuonships that i love. Specifically my stepmom. Ya know as a thirteen year old and a fifty year old, the real thing that you have in common is that youre both so lost in the world and we related on that and we ysed to be able to just talk about anything and everything. We used to stay up all jight playing board games and card games m and yes she treated me like shit, but ic ant really blame her for treating me like absolute garbage when her life gas literally veen nothing but absolute garabge. All the shit that happened/ happens to her is so underserves. Whether or not she was telling me her problems because she was drunk or because she wa going theough some insane menopause blood pressure bullshit. The fact is, is that it was real. Not alot of things in this life are so ducking tangible so its hard not to even look at the things that are bad and still want to touch them because theyre so real. I dont think we understand as kids how much our parents love us. But we also dont understand the betrayal they feel when we grow up, because you help a little person grow and change and then they just fucking leave you like your nothing and that must be so heart wrenching and as kids we just dont get it and i dont thunk we truly understand until we have our own children. Its like losing a friend slowly. I dream of a day where i can sit down with my stepmom ams just enhoy all the little things like we used to ya kniw? Play some fucking card games, ill be lie 30 so lets gave a fucking beer. And i want to give her grandchildren to love so badly. She deserves them so much and she would live them so much. She truly is my second mother and shes treated me like her own and she loves me like her own. I am truly her son. Yes, its been garbage alot of the time but theres also been so much fucking love. And soemtimes love is all we can really expect and want from another hukan being. That and understanding of course. Id love to say there was more good then bad or that there was more bad than good to cut this affirmative line but i cant. Its far more complicated than that. Its joy. Its goodness. Its creation. Its love. Its hatred. Theres no way to measure it or to say its been great or horrible, more than just to say that it has been and that is enough for me. I feel so bad because i dont think about her enough and i feel like i cant give her all the credit she deserves. I want all the happiness in the world for her. And i just wish i had the time to make her feel all the love in the world. But i have friends and i have grandparents and everything and my career. I just miss the hours upon hours of trust and compassion we gave to one another. I want to play fucking war and yahtsee with her and just speak once more. But weve changed so much too. Its so calm and we dont need each other in that way anymore. I think were both alot less lost. And as much as thats a good thing, it doesent change the fact that we had as two hukan being is gone. I think its kind of like a best friend who you drift a part from, but will always be there for you no matter what. Shes so strong and she works so hard and she deserves the best things in this life. Despite the bullshit. It doesent matter. She is good and theres so much good and beauty she has given to me. And i am so thankful for that.
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Alright, so I'm right in a void of motivation to do anything. Not that I lack energy or time. I'm just... I don't even know. Fuck this. I'm listening to Bohemian Rhapsody so I don't have to think about something else.
Fuck this. Fuck me. Fuck my life.
I'm sick and tired of this shit. Can't even enhoy Queen. And I'm telling to y'all, because I can't express myself by oral, and I wouldn't even know who I should tell it to. I've got nobody close enough apart from my family, and they have their own shit to deal with...
Fuck this shit, man. Fuck this shit...
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