#because jade’s never lusted over another before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chimivx · 1 year

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TASTE. -> 'Haven' from the POV of Hyunjin. (Part One of ?)

summary: "Bad things happen in love. That's why I've spent my entire life rejecting it. Everyone I've ever fallen for has failed me, and it's happening all over again, and I get to watch."

word count: 11k

warnings: 18+, infidelity themes all throughout, toxic friendships/relationships, mentions of sex, alcohol abuse, struggles with mental health themes, cursing, if I missed anything PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

a/n: So, this is happening. This is altering my entire Haven universe. Originally, this is the time period I had Haven set in when I first created it... I see a rewrite happening in the future. Enjoy this, and please leave me a message of your thoughts! YES, I had to name the female MC. If she has your name, congrats!

Fixating my eyes on the bland, white ceiling above me, I lay awake for the third night in a row, unable to shake the thoughts that infected my mind like a parasite. Incessant mocking strings of words that my subconscious seems to have created itself for the pure purpose of self torture. Life’s always been that way though, my subconscious versus my conscious mind, both whispering things to me in a way that made it difficult to decipher what was actually real.

During the night after I’ve buried myself beneath my sheets was when they loved to linger. When things got quiet, the thoughts crept out, spilling me secrets, but if it was a night like tonight, they screamed. For weeks now, they’ve been screaming.

Mere hours ago, before the lights were shut off, I had my arms wrapped around the girl who now slept soundly beside me. Straddling my waist with her hands tangled in my hair, we took one another with a hunger, sweating while she sang out a beautiful song inspired by her own lust fueled desire. Each and every time we slept together it was disgustingly greedy, yet relieving, and all the more mind-numbing.

Jade, fast asleep, her eyelashes tickling her cheeks, always appeared as beautiful as her name introduced her. Much like the stone she shares a title with, her personal qualities weren’t as far off. Since I’ve met her she’s been level headed, mature, and honest. Never once have I had to question her sincerity whenever I’m seven inches within her, nor have I wondered whether or not she’d stray away from me.

Until about two months ago.

It was probably my own damn fault somehow, I just can’t seem to piece together where it began, or what the underlying cause was. Within these nights laying awake I start to assume it’s the subconscious cooking it up, but if I attempt to delve deeper into the situation it seems to appear before me clear as day.

She was falling in love with Minho.

The nine of us friends had been hanging out for almost half a year before Jade and I started to hook up. Our group was formed beneath the roof of Haven, all of us were regulars, and Minho was a bartender there, so naturally we grew attached to each other.

Jeongin and Seungmin knew one another previously, childhood best friends or something, if I can remember, as did Minho and Han. Changbin was a close friend of mine through school, we attended university together a few years back, the two of us in the same fraternity. He had a good friend at work, Felix, who he ended up bringing around, and the blonde seemed to find a place with us. That boy was an Aussie, like Chan who was introduced to us through Jade. Those two were college friends as well.

Naturally we fell into little subunits as all friend groups do, though we clung to the ones we started out with. Jade, I’ve noticed, couldn’t let go of Chan, and for good reason. He was a good dude, he worked in a gym, and I didn’t absolutely hate his guts. At least I knew that if she was with him she was going to be safe- which is a thought that always shook me to the depths of my core, and it wasn’t because I was worried about her well-being.

Well, maybe it was because I was worried about her well-being, but that was what terrified me. I had gotten to the point with her that made me want to throw it all away, it was entirely nauseating, every waking second of it.

Taking a glimpse of her now in the dark where she lay with her lips slightly parted, her gorgeous hair pushed backward and her hands beneath the cheek that lays on one of my pillows, there’s a pit that forms in my stomach, one that sends an electric spark up into my heart, spreading throughout my nervous system. If she was dreaming her lips would twitch. I’d gazed at her enough as she’s slept this past year to be able to figure out what was happening in that spectacular mind of hers without her needing to use words to express it.

It’s how I knew she was falling in love with Minho.

Lurching forward with a gentleness to not disturb her, I press the palms of my hands to my eyes and rub vigorously, trying to clear my head of the things I didn’t want to hear. Taking a slow, deep breath with caution, I sense the familiar tightness around my heart and sigh.

As soon as I think about it, it happens. Another breath rips through my chest without warning, and then another. They were coming in quick, their speed relentless, my heart accompanying their pace. I glance down at Jade who hasn’t seemed to stir. She was asleep, I didn’t want to bother her, I wasn’t sure I wanted her help at all. I knew what I needed to do.

Tossing the covers off of me my feet hit the floor, a cool sensation shooting up my legs helping to ease the panic in the slightest way. Hurrying for the door I snatch the doorknob and throw it open, my head beginning to go dizzy.

I rush into the kitchen with a clobber, slamming my hands onto one of the counters feeling absolutely no pain. Blind with anxiety, I begin to rifle through cabinets, slamming their doors along with a couple of drawers.

Where is it, are the only words I can conjure up.

A couple minutes later, or it could’ve been thirty seconds for all I can actively be aware of- I find it. A little more than half a bottle of Don Juilio that Changbin gifted me for my last birthday. It was pushed in the back, hidden behind Jades margarita mixes and fruity shit she’s tried to put me on. Jutting my arm in, knocking over stacked plastic cups and packages full of bendy straws, I maneuver the round glass bottle out of the cabinet without knocking over anything expensive.

Plopping to the floor, I pop the tequila open and take a gulp. It’s cool against my tongue, but it should burn a little as it goes down. It doesn’t. Taking another swig I can’t even feel my chest warm like it should while I drink this. I can’t feel a thing.

Typically this gets paired with some sort of soda, adding a dash of the tequila into the glass before the fizzy mixer is poured inside. Changbin was better at making the drinks, he has been since college. At every party he was the one in charge of the alcohol, making sure we never got a keg. With Changbin it had to be dressed up, a little more spicy than average- which was how he preferred his women.

To me, it didn’t matter. In college I drank to get drunk, and apparently my friends would agree that that still reigns true. I didn’t care if the alcohol was aged perfectly, if it was pricey or if it was cheap, nor did it matter the packaging it came in. If it cleared my head, made me forget what I wanted to forget, and got me off, I was set. Which, ultimately, was how I preferred my women. Or my men. Or my… people.

I knock back another gulp of Don Juilio.

I’d never include Jade in that analogy, though. She was different. She was infectious. She made me break my rules.

We were together, but we weren’t together. We shared a bed, she lived within the walls of my apartment, but we weren’t together. She had her own dresser in my bedroom, her toothbrush resided in my bathroom, but we weren’t together. In the morning’s she’d cook me breakfast and bring it to me with a kiss on the cheek, but we weren’t together.

My heart fluttered whenever I would think about her. She found ways to turn my cheeks pink on days when I never thought I’d smile again. She was magnificent.

Jade was the only girl in my life who didn’t throw herself at me the moment we had met. Most women I interact with try to pick me up or ask if I’m single, then try to get me into bed- you don’t see me complaining- but, Jade. The very first thing I ever said to her was sarcastic, something smart rolling off my tongue when our eyes first caught a glimpse of one another, and she laughed.

It wasn’t a cute laugh. It wasn’t a ‘oh my god, cute boy, you’re so funny, let me giggle like a girl to get you to like me’ laugh. Her laugh was loud, and it was quick, and it turned heads. Essentially she was really scoffing at me, unable to believe I had strolled up to her and Chan at the bar and been so confidently cocky.

She got me right back with a joke that crippled Changbin and Chan, she tossed something together fast about how I compared to one of the neon lights on the wall. It was a flamingo holding a bottle of tequila if I’m not mistaken. Even then she knew me, she could see me.

Months after that was the first time we had kissed, inside Haven, those wooden planked walls becoming a safe place for us. Then soon after we seeked sanctuary in a bathroom stall, drunkenly stupid enough to fuck without caring who came inside to use the other one beside it.

I had played a careful game, intrigued with how she seemed to play it right back. That’s what drew me to her. She was equally as meticulous as I was, though she appeared like the type to want stability, and after getting to know her some more, that’s what she craved.

Dealing with me she knew she wasn’t going to get a relationship, at least not the kind where we’d call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. That was something I didn’t do, something that made my skin crawl.

Titles were a subject for disaster, it always ended in a mess, at least from what I know. I’ve had my own share of enough broken hearts in the past to be repulsed by the idea of a title. Of exclusivity. Belonging to someone, and someone belonging to you, only to have them rip your heart out and tear it to shreds after they confess that they see a forever with you, leading you on, isolating you from your friends and family.

People leave. People don’t care.

With Jade I figured I was saving myself, protecting us both from the horrors of heartbreak. But, somewhere within the year I broke my rules.

I was insufferably in love with her.

And she was falling in love with Minho.

Another swig from the bottle I grasped. And then another.

She was falling in love with Minho. I could see it in her eyes whenever they spoke.

He was capable of giving her everything she wanted.

Another swig, that became more of a gulp.

She was falling in love with Minho, and I was doing everything in my power to push her away. I was wrecking her trust, breaking her down, making her cry, and she wouldn’t leave. I was telling her things to her face, things I had done, things that would cause any person in their right mind to leave me, and she wouldn’t go.

Another gulp.

Our friends said things to me, things I couldn’t begin to put together right now, but I knew they weren’t nice. They watched me hurt her again and again, they’ve tried to tell her to leave me, I know that they have. I know Minho has gotten her ear before, this one shocked me the most, because if she was going to listen to anyone I figured it’d be Minho.

My heart yearned, it ached for her.

The worst part about it was that she loved me too, at least I think she does, seeing as though she’s still here after I’ve cheated on her three different times. I’ve slept with three different girls, and she hasn’t left. Jennie, who I met in Haven, a senior in college out here visiting family for the summer. Lia, who I met at the liquor store, she lived a few neighborhoods over. Nayeon, who I met- No. I never had sex with Nayeon. I kissed her though, and she touched my dick.

Another gulp. The glass clangs against the ground as the bottom of the bottle hits it, my arm getting heavy.

Jade knew everything. She found out about Nayeon last week, and she’s still here.

God, I love her, so fucking much, but I’m pretty sure she’s falling in love with Minho.

Another… another gulp, I attempt. My arms fall limp first, then my back meets the tiled floor, and I don’t know if it’s because of the Don Juilio that’s nearly empty or the panic attack.

“What the fuck, Hyunjin.”

Her spine chilling tone wakes me up. Opening my eyes to the sun leaking through the windows, I turn my chin to look at her and take a deep breath, one that inflates my lungs completely. Jade, standing behind me at the door she just slammed shut, is draped in golden rays of light. It definitely wasn’t morning.

A dull ache rips through my head, my eyes feeling like they could roll back and sink into my skull. They’d roll down to my stomach that churned as I moved my eyes around the room. I was still in the middle of the kitchen splayed out on the floor.

Jade was dressed for work, all black head to toe, with her hair pulled back to keep it out of her face. A little nametag was perched on her chest by her left shoulder where her name was spelled out in cute block letters that she wrote herself. In her hand she carried a brown paper bag that gave off the scent that something delicious was inside, something I’d devour if I wasn’t fighting away nausea.

“I brought you dinner,” she said, her tone flat. Looking away from me she takes herself over to the table and tosses the bag onto the wood, not caring whether or not its contents got jostled. A sigh contorted with a groan escapes her as she walks down the hall toward the bedroom, pulling her shirt over her head.

“Dinner,” I mumbled, rubbing one of my eyes. Attempting to sit up, I roll onto my side and tuck my knees into my chest, propping myself up on them along with my hands. The headache roars through my brain, the room turning blurry for a few seconds.

Sitting back on my heels my hands swing to my side, my left pinky finger tapping what felt like glass. Turning my chin down slowly, I hook my pinky into the lip of the bottle and pull it onto my lap, sighing at what I’d found. An empty bottle of Don Juilio Tequila sat in the dip of my thighs.

“Jade?” I called out, looking toward the bedroom where she had disappeared. I don’t remember how I ended up here.

In a pair of jeans that hugged her hips just right, and a white tank top- that I think was mine- tucked into the front of the waist, Jade turned out of the doorway, shooting me a glare. Her hands were occupied with a brush, pushing her hair backward with the bristles before shaking it all forward. When she tossed it back it was like she moved in slow motion.

God, she was beautiful.

“What?” her tone didn’t match her appearance. She was pissed.

Gesturing toward the floor, moving like I’d aged seventy years, I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. “When did I…?”

“Beats me,” she grills, perking a brow. “You were there when I left for work, I figured you’d be up by the time I got back, like last time.”

“You didn’t hear me get up?” I asked, genuinely looking for help. Jade simply shakes her head. “I don’t remember getting up.”

“You sure made a mess,” she scoffs, then disappears again.

Turning over my shoulder, slowly, I’m greeted by half open drawers and cabinets. The one beside me, the liquor cabinet, had its contents spilling out the front onto the tile. Plastic red cups were scattered about, and bottles inside the shelf were knocked over.

“What the fuck,” I whisper to myself.

“You can clean it up,” Jade said, coming back out into the kitchen now with a pair of boots on her feet peeking out from under her flared jeans. She’d put lipstick on, a mauve color, and some mascara. Always so simple, yet convicting, and she didn’t even know it.

“Where are you going?” I asked, watching her dance about the kitchen, unpacking the bag she had brought in, crumbling it up to push it into the garbage that lived beneath our sink. Her jeans stretched as she bent over and my heart wanted to burst.

“Haven,” she said, turning around to look down at me. Her eyes travel to the glass on my lap. “Han, Chan and Minho are going.”

Minho.

Suddenly her shade of lipstick made me want to smash the bottle I held into a trillion little pieces. I remembered how I’d gotten here on the floor.

“Oh,” I mumbled, bobbing my head, gazing up at her through the dark pieces of hair that fell onto my forehead. Jade’s eyes study mine, hers laced with uncertainty and a shit ton of empathy.

“You can come with me, yanno,” she said, her sharp tone easing down to one nicer. Licking my lips, tasting a tinge of the tequila, I nod. She offers me a small smile and a hand.

She aids me to my feet and gives my cheek a quick kiss before she whispers, “You need help.” And she’s sufficiently, accurately, shot me in the heart. Though it was spoken with quaint intention, it didn’t soften the blow, not when I’ve heard those three words before. The first time was degrading, and humiliating, and it didn’t come from Jade.

Taking the bottle from my hands she places it on the countertop much more carefully than it appeared I had been moving last night. She backs away from me with two steps and gestures behind her.

“Get yourself ready,” she said. “They want to meet at six.”

Right. Minho.

“If you want,” she adds before I can walk away from her, “I can call Changbin, maybe ask if he wants to join us?” Rubbing the back of my neck I take a breath. How, in her right mind, is she being nice to me?

“He works,” I said, dropping my hand at my side, “But… sure.”

Checking out my appearance one last time, Jade smiles, bigger this time. I can’t even begin to imagine how I look after hours passed out on the floor in a drunken daze. My headache pounded like a kickdrum in my ears and it felt like I was wearing twenty pound weights on each of my limbs.

“Okay,” she sighed. “I’ll give him a call, go take a shower.”

Taking myself down the hall, leaving her in the kitchen, I step into the bathroom and lock the door behind me. Pressing my back against the white wooden panel, I groan and close my eyes for a couple of seconds. The thought of having to put up with Minho for another night made me more nauseous than the tequila, and the fact that Jade was all done up for the evening threatened to make me panic.

Panic and Minho. That was definitely how I ended up in the kitchen on the floor. It always stemmed from there, the overthinking, the imposter syndrome, the false thoughts that weasled into my mind without consent. Imposter Syndrome was laughable, and it is. I wasn’t under the impression Jade was falling in love with Minho. I knew she was falling in love with Minho.

Oh my god, Hyunjin, turn on the shower.

Tearing back the curtain I spin the knob on the wall to scorching hot, letting the small room fill with steam. If I could sweat out this hangover in a few minutes I’d be good to go for the night, I’d be back on my game, ready to handle Minho and her other friends.

Jade said she’d call Changbin, and I prayed that she would. Chan and Han were great, but they were the closest to Minho. Add Jade into the mix pestering her best friend Chan all night, perpetually flirting with Minho without even realizing, and that leaves me alienated, all to myself. Bad things happen when I’m left to myself. Jade would obtain another reason to leave me, and I guarantee, no matter what, she still wouldn’t.

I wasn’t going to be the one to break it off. It wouldn’t be me saying the words, I needed Jade to say it. She had to be the one to leave me, I loved her too much to let her go.

The heat swirling around the air did anything but make me sweat out my condition, instead it made me even more dizzy and nauseous, prompting me to collapse in front of the toilet, getting sick, twice.

Now that made me feel a little better.

Rubbing a few fingers over my lips I slipped two between my teeth, maybe I could make myself do it again…

“Jinnie?” Jade knocks on the door a couple of times. Slapping both hands to the ceramic, I look at the frame and gulp.

“Yeah?” I question after clearing my throat.

“Changbin said he’ll come by after he gets off work,” she said, “Felix is going to come with him, too.” The skinny little blonde Australian boy. Changbin liked him, and those two got along really well. Felix was funny, the moments I’ve spent with him I’ve enjoyed, so I guess his presence tonight would do me some good.

“Okay,” I mumble, willing her with my mind to walk away. “Thanks.”

“We’ll have fun tonight,” she said, hovering by the door it seemed. “I promise.”

You’ll have fun tonight, I huffed. If her attention was going to be on Minho and her friends for the evening I suppose I could take it upon myself to get to know the boy who acted as Changbin’s shadow whenever they were around. Kind of quiet, Felix seemed shallow, like he wasn’t always all the way there, but I probably didn’t know him well enough.

I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt and not let his bleach blonde hair and ditzy smile he always wore get in the way of getting through to him personally. A friend of Changbins could easily be a friend of mine. Being so hooked on Jade I’ve barely had time to even learn where Felix lived. Maybe he’d be the best distraction for the evening.

And so, the subunits within the group will shift. If my predictions were right, if Jade was… falling in love with Minho, then there was no doubt she’d get pulled away by Han and Chan. It already seemed as if those three had a plan set in place to pluck her out of here, so I needed a second option. I needed people on my side, people to stand with me if the nine of us were to separate, or if Jade were to leave me.

Changbin and Felix seemed like an excellent option.

Jade always said that Haven was musty. The old bar was just that, musty. It smelled of heavy old pine and Budweiser, the dark wooden planked walls keeping every scent trapped within the close quarters. There wasn’t a single window on any wall except small rectangular ones in the bathrooms. The screens to the outside were old, a little ripped and covered in cobwebs.

The bar had to have been open for, like, twenty years, since at least the middle of the sixties. The walls and stained concrete floor gave away its age. Arnold, the man who owned the place- Minho’s boss- appeared to be from the sixties as well. Some days I’d be willing to half listen to the history lesson he gave our group whenever he approached us to greet Minho, the old man gloating about his bar, how it’s been family owned for years and that he cannot believe ‘young people’ like us still loved to come here.

Jade loved to listen, she found it fascinating it seemed. Most times I could care less, I just wanted a drink, and I’d love nothing more than to tell Arnold what he could do better with his building, starting with the windows in the bathroom.

It wasn’t my favorite place, but it gave me Jade, and I’m still trying to piece together whether that was a good thing or not.

I could place the blame on the neon multicolored lights or the cheap drinks that were poured heavily for bringing this selfless, incredible girl into my life. These four walls were the reason I was suffering. Something stirred in the air here, something that induced us all into a love drunk haze. Like some type of hallucination you don’t realize the outcome until you’re living with it four months later, saying ‘I love you’ every night.

Already on the dance floor, Jade was moving effortlessly beside Chan. The dark curly haired boy wore a cut off tank, a t-shirt he cut the sleeves off of, and jeans shorts rolled at the knee. A brown belt was strapped around his waist and a skinny gold chain hung snuggly at the base of his neck.

We’ve been here only ten minutes and the two were already a drink deep, lost in the music that blasted from the speakers on the walls.

Sitting at a table in the back corner that our group always occupied, I was slouched in one of the creaky wooden high top chairs with my hand wrapped around a glass full of liquor I was unable to get down. I wanted to chug it before Han and Minho showed their faces.

At least before Han showed his face. The boy was a nuisance. He was loud and nosey, he had to know everything about everybody. I limited the amount of conversations I shared with the chestnut brown, fluffy haired boy. He would never get his sticky little fingers on any of my dirt, but with how he’s gotten close to Jade I can only assume he’s already heard it all. I’ve been on the receiving end of one too many questionable glances recently.

“Jinnie!”

Glancing up from the glass my eyes were attempting to shatter a hole into, I found Jade swaying her hips side to side waving a hand toward me. She wore a smile, a big one. Beside Chan was when she was the happiest, especially if she was also within these decrepit walls.

“What?” I call out to her, my voice nearly drowned out by the bass. Jade takes a breath to answer, but instead hurries over to my side. Chan’s eyes follow her, the content of his expression subtly shifted into unease- at least I think it did.

Jade grabs onto my bare arm and gives me a shake, one that tumbles my stomach. “Come dance, please?” Her voice is sappy-sweet. The drink in front of me appears all the more appetizing.

“Why?” I asked, looking up into her pleading eyes. “You have Chan, go dance with him.”

Her lips form a pout. “I wanna dance with you.”

“I don’t want to dance,” I said. “I still don’t feel good.” Half of a truth.

Jade’s pout dissolves into a frown, her eyebrows taking a nosedive as well. “You never want to anymore,” she said quietly, dropping her grip on me. “What can I do to make you want to dance?”

“I… I dunno,” I shrugged, folding my arms across my chest. A playful smirk tugs at her lips. “You can let me-”

Nudging me with a hip she pulls at the bottom of her tank, untucking it from her jeans, wiggling it up a bit to flash a bit of her midriff. “No, I can get you out there,” she giggles, “I know I can.”

“Stop,” I said. She only slips her tank up a bit further, drifting higher and higher until I reached out and pulled her arms down to her sides. “Stop!”

Rubbing her palms against the denim she wore she bobs her head and licks her lips. The playful energy was wiped away the second I touched her. Taking a step away from me she mumbles, “Bet when Changbin’s here you’ll dance.”

Her black boots take her away to her best friend who, if he wasn’t before, was definitely glaring at me now.

“Fantastic,” I said to myself, focusing back down on the glass that was leaving a ring of moisture on the faded table in front of me. Add it to the list of reasons her friends hated me, or the list of reasons she should leave me, but won’t.

What I said wasn’t a lie, I truthfully wasn’t feeling well, and she knew that. She woke me up only a couple hours ago. I was hungover, and tired, and nauseous, and anxious. Jade didn’t know the anxious part, I kept that to myself, but she knew everything else. I didn’t think it was a crime to not want to dance when I barely had enough energy to hold my head up.

Part of me hates to admit that she was right. I planned to get up somehow when Changbin got here, but only because he was my safety net. Dancing next to Chan, who’s most likely out for blood, without backup wasn’t on my to-do list tonight.

Wrapping my hand around the glass I take a swig, fighting it down with a nauseating cringe. The dark liquor burned the back of my throat, warming my chest. “Christ,” I mumbled. My eyes flicker up to some commotion happening on the dance floor, and to no surprise, Han is there already running his mouth. The boy's hands move a mile a minute, attempting to keep up with his words.

His hair was styled differently, typically it hung over his eyes naturally parted in the center, but tonight the fluff was straightened, completely covering his forehead. In each ear he wore two diamond studs, one smaller and one larger, in size order with a silver chain around his neck to match. Looking at his hands that were latched to Jade’s shoulders I’m surprised to find him ringless. Normally he’d adorn his fingers with flashy rings, more jewelry to show off what a phenomenal job he had.

If he’s not talking about other people, he’s talking about that damn job. His dream job, his fantasy, his ‘so lucky to get straight out of college’ job- working right below the head of the company, the assistant for the CEO or the boss, whichever one Han says. I can’t even remember what the company even does. Jade’s brought it up, something to do with… stocks? Banks?

Either way, he’s the CEO’s son. He was getting that job whether he really wanted it or not, and now he gets to brag about his most amazing life.

I knocked back another swig of my drink with the intention of Han becoming a blur, he moved quick enough anyways, and then another when I noticed the three of them were looking my way. Jade’s smile had started to fade, Chan was biting his bottom lip, and Han wore a grin.

Here we go.

Almost taking out three different people after he detached himself from Jade, Han swaggered over to the table as if he’d already been drinking. When he sat down and leaned toward me, he reeked of vodka and his heavy ass Calvin Klein cologne. In case his get up wasn’t enough he had to make sure people knew he had money by his scent. I’m pretty sure people in the next town over could smell him.

“What in the hell are you doing over here by yourself?” he asked, resting an elbow on the back of the chair he had to jump into. He was four inches shorter than me.

Raising a brow I answered quietly, “Didn’t she already tell you?”

“Who?!” Han’s expression twists into goofy confusion, his eyes going wide. “Jade? No, she didn’t tell me anything. I asked where you were.”

“Oh,” I said, eyeing his flattened hair. Between the gleam of the shiny strands and his gaudy jewelry, his style and personality were entirely out of balance.

“Why so moody, bad boy?” he teased, nudging my arm with an elbow. Pulling away I curled my lip and glared behind him. Jade and Chan couldn’t care less, Nelly Furtado was blaring through the speakers and they were singing every word.

“Not moody,” I sighed. “Hungover.”

Han glanced at the drink in front of me and smirked. “Then you may want to drink that a little faster.”

Gritting my teeth, I said, “Believe me, I’m trying.”

The two of us are startled by a shriek from the dance floor, and then a shout. Han whipped himself around and before I could brace myself he’s shouting as well.

A muscular figure with broad shoulders and silver hair dressed all in black was swinging an arm around Jade, hugging her half around the shoulders. It appeared entirely innocent, the way he kept his head tilted away from her, and how he only allowed himself to use one arm.

Jade used two, throwing both around his chest, keeping her body on the side of his. Given another circumstance she’d have buried herself in him completely, but maybe she just wasn’t drunk enough yet.

She fit right beneath his arm perfectly, like the little crook was made for her. They were both just the right height, neither one was too tall nor small. Jade was shorter than me, way shorter than me. She was shorter than Han, and that kid was short.

“Minho!” he shouted, gripping the back of his chair like a child, dragging out the last letter in the dreaded name that kicked me in the stomach. Tipping my head backward I’m able to down the rest of my drink easily, getting used to the burn, finding a comfort within it as my insides are ignited with nerves.

Silver hair is flipped toward us at the table. His eyes were dark, they always were, but even more so as he took me in. The rare lit up smile on his face falters as our eyes meet, almost as if he knew I was onto him. As much as Jade had been pining after him, Minho had been after her just the same.

The boy dressed in black, just as I was, carried himself with a confident swagger. Minho never cared too much about anything, but all at the same time, cared entirely too much. He was an expert at hiding how he was feeling, it made him a tedious person to be around. Without a quirk of a brow or a frown to go off of, I could never tell what was going through his mind. Unless he was around Jade. The cold exterior seemed to melt a bit if she were around.

“What’s going on?” I hear Minho ask, which can only mean he’s coming closer. Han was beside me, of course he would come closer. The two were attached at the hip.

Standing in front of Han, Minho takes a hand to his best friend's cheek and gives it a squeeze without making a face. I feel his eyes pan over to me, the two soulless pits of dismay attempting to eat me alive so he could swoop in and take away my Jade.

My heart starts to beat heavily, pounding against my ribcage. Curling my fingers on the empty glass I clung to, I debate getting up to refill my glass, but that would give Minho an invitation to talk about me. The two were babbling about Han’s work day anyway, would they even care if I left?

Slipping out of my chair I try to catch my balance, almost falling into the table. Both Han and Minho exclaim some sounds of shock, then laughter once they realize I’m steady on my feet. Faking a smile I tip my empty glass and pop my eyebrows.

“And this was only one,” I said, rounding the table, attempting to escape Han’s dreadful cologne and Minho’s resentful glare.

“And counting last night, or, this morning. Stop the tequila!” Han laughed, waving a finger in my direction. Rolling my shoulders back I eyed him curiously. Minho takes in my figure and I want nothing more than to crawl away to the bar, where I can drown my sorrows in liquor and be alone. He had a way of making people feel so small.

Mulling over what Han has said, I chuckled and nodded, wiggling the glass around. “So she did tell you already,” I said, shooting him a glance with as much intensity as Minho was grilling me with. Han’s lips pull into an adorable smirk as he lowers his chin and flashes me his puppy dog eyes.

“I didn’t want you to know she told me,” he said, his tone sweet. “If you wanted me to know you would’ve said something.”

“Told you what?” Minho asked him, looking between the two of us. Rolling my eyes I heard Minho laugh as I turned over my shoulder to finally walk away. He would get the info out of Han in a heartbeat, in fact, he didn’t really need to ask him, Han would let it slip out eventually. He’s got an uncontrollable desire to gossip, his well being depended on it.

Keeping my eyes pointed forward I make it to the bar without any distractions and plant my glass down on the wood that matched the tables and sit down on one of the stools with a cushion flatter than my will to stay here for the night. The bartender with blonde hair hanging at her shoulders in what I assume is her natural curl pattern approaches me and takes my glass, giving me a smile.

“What’ll it be next?” she asked, resting an elbow on the edge. Her blue eyes hint that I should make my way back here later after her shift is over. She couldn’t have been older than me, if anything she was a bit younger. I’ve seen her here behind the bar a couple of nights prior to tonight, meaning she must not know who any of us were yet. The other bartenders knew how to fill up my glass and leave me be, like Minho.

“Uh, may as well give me the bottle,” I said, and it made her laugh. Attempting to smile, the sound she makes resembles one that every other female I’ve come into contact with has made.

“I’m afraid that’s against the rules,” she said, leaning toward me, now resting both her elbows on the bar. Mimicking her, I cross my arms over my chest and set them on the ledge. She took my gesture as some sort of incentive because the smile that took over her glossy lips gave me the impression that she thought I was flirting with her. “You come around here a lot?”

“Unfortunately,” I mumbled, peering down at the glass she took from me. “You’re new. My friends are here all the time, you’ll get to know us eventually.”

“You with Minho?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. Nodding in response I watch as she laughs to herself and taps the glass on the wood. “I gotchu.”

“What’s your name?”

“Dina,” she said. “Are you Jeongin or Changbin?” It was my turn to huff out a laugh.

“Close,” I smirked. “Hyunjin.”

Dina’s blue eyes are sparked full of intrigue. “Ah,” she sings aloud, “Interesting. In that case,” she holds up the glass, “I really do gotchu. Gimme a minute.”

After grabbing the glasses of the people beside me, Dina whisked her way down the bar to whip up whatever she had planned, or whatever she had heard about me from Minho, and that I can only imagine is a trip. Her flirty eyes switched to ones that irked my soul. She attempted to look through me, she wanted to know me, but only my dirt. No one ever wanted to know more.

Knitting my hands together, I draw my thumb over a small callus on my palm, hook my feet on the rungs of the stool beneath me and sigh. The appearance of my hands reflected how I felt. Torn up, battered, and bruised. As repulsive as they were to me, Jade could never, ever get enough. She couldn’t even describe why they did what they did to her, they just drove her nuts, and she didn’t even care if my work beat them up, she said it made them sexier.

In all of my time spent with her, an entire year, she almost always zoned in to my appearance- complimenting how I looked, messing with my hair, kissing my knuckles, admiring my nose. In those moments that’s when she turns into the other girls, briefly, when she’s got her fingers laced in my hair and she’s biting my lip- because at the end of the day that’s all they want from me.

A full glass is placed in front of me pulling me out of my thoughts that were seconds away from spiraling. Dina is back with a small smile, popping a straw into the tall cup. With a wink she leans over the bar and whispers, “You’ve got a blonde checking you out over there.” Her blue eyes flicker behind me momentarily before she smiles warmly and hurries away to take care of her other guests.

I’ve got a blonde checking me out over there. She definitely didn’t know us, or didn’t know I was kind of involved with Jade. Unless Minho’s recruited her as well, making her play wingman to push me further away from the group, further away from Jade.

Picking up my glass, I place the straw between my lips and spin around on the stool to find this blonde, to see if she was even worth any of my time. I hadn’t decided if tonight was a night to create another problem or not, my main focus right now was to get drunk enough to not be able to remember what Jade and Minho get up to.

Dina was funny. Amongst the sea of people there wasn’t a single blonde aside from herself, which I had to admit, was an excellent play. I spotted Jade between Minho and Chan with her head tossed backward and her eyes closed, feeling the music as they all moved to the beat. Looking for Han, I wasn’t able to place him which was equally relieving and terrifying.

Scanning the rest of the crowd by the door, and then by the DJ, it was pretty packed for a weeknight. Then again, Haven was always bursting at the walls. With the heavy pours and the cheap prices one wouldn’t expect different.

Taking another long sip of the deliciousness Dina has curated, I start to spin back around on the stool, but then I find the blonde.

Wedged against the furthest wall Han sat on the lap of a curvy woman with long black hair with his arms wrapped around her neck. He had his cheek pressed to hers, and his lips were moving a mile a minute as he spoke to a boy in ripped jeans and t-shirt- Changbin. As happy as I was to see him, my eyes were glued to the tall, gangly blonde hovering behind him with his back pressed to the wooden planked wall.

It was Felix. It was Felix.

He was quick to catch me looking, his eyes darted away faster than anything, focusing on the people in front of him.

Hands shoved in the pockets of his baggy jeans that hung on his tiny frame, the loose shirt he wore, covered in tiny green and blue stripes, was cut low enough to give me a glimpse of his collar bone and the tanned skin that lived under it. I’ve seen him wear this shirt before, except it was around Christmas time in December and he paired it with a white long sleeved shirt beneath it for warmth.

There was a watch on his left hand strapped to his thin wrist, and when he adjusted his arms to cross them over his chest I found that he was wearing a couple rings on his middle fingers as well.

His skin was smooth, tan and glistening, and freckles littered his cheeks all the way across his nose. Felix looked like summer, it was as if the sun shone just for him.

The blonde hair that was cut short in the front but grew longer in the back made it hard for one to figure out if it was his real color or not, he could pull it off so naturally. Tonight it was a little curly, twisting against the nape of his neck and over his deep brown eyes covering his brows.

He was simple. He always has been since the day I met him. Happy, too. Felix never seemed to have much to complain about.

Looking at me again with only his wandering eyes, I can’t help it. Lifting my glass, I smile. Dina had no idea who he was, she barely had a grasp on who I was, he probably wasn’t checking me out, if anything he may have been contemplating joining me or not, but with how we don’t really know too much about one another maybe he was nervous or something-

Walking toward me. Felix was walking toward me.

I felt the need to sit up straight and I did. I also tucked my hair behind my ears, cursing myself for not bringing a tie to pull it back with.

Leaning backward against the bar, I slid an arm over my waist and put my other elbow on it, taking another sip from the straw in my glass that was a real curse. Dina should know this as a bartender, you shouldn’t drink alcohol through a straw.

“You know you shouldn’t be drinking that with a straw,” is the first thing to leave Felix’s mouth as soon as he’s close enough to me. I nearly choked on my liquor as I swallowed it while I laughed. The sunshine smiles, perfect teeth all in a row.

“I was just thinking that,” I said after a breath. Turning around to place the glass down, I face Felix again and place my hands between my knees, letting the knobby joints squeeze some warmth into them.

“Hi,” Felix said, his hands sliding back into his pockets.

“Hi,” I said, noticing there was a three foot gap between us. “Wanna sit? You drinking?”

Shrugging, Felix gestures back to Changbin. “I drove us, not sure I should have anything.” His beauty didn’t correlate to his demeanor, he was stiff as a board. Maybe he was nervous.

Glancing to the empty stool beside me, I look at him with only my eyes and smile. “Doesn’t mean you can’t sit.” He had trouble breaking into the group when he first came around, this much I knew, so without a Changbin to hide behind I felt responsible for… well, him.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he said with another shrug. A smile toyed with his plump lips, like it was always there.

Walking around the opposite side of the stool to avoid getting too close to me, he hops on with a soft sigh and shamelessly lets his gaze fawn over me. Feeling grateful that I’d showered, I smiled and spun around so we were both facing the bar.

Just be his friend, I thought to myself, you need a friend.

Which then reminds me how shitty I am at the friend thing. I only ever see anybody when I’m here, and most times it isn’t voluntary, I get dragged out of the apartment by Jade. I wouldn’t even call half of the people I hang out with friends anyway, so it wasn’t like I had many to keep up with. After college Changbin was the one to keep up with me, somehow understanding that I’m shitty at the friend thing-

“Keep overthinking and you’ll give yourself a headache before the tequila gets a chance to give you one first,” Felix’s accent is thick and it turns my ears pink, and not because he’s just read me like a book. Blinking a few times I glance his way and find his big eyes studying me. They’re slightly narrowed, and darting from either one of mine after they draw a conclusion from my brows.

Rolling my shoulders back I attempt to relax my expression finding myself clenching my jaw to the point of it feeling sore once I unhinge it. “Damn,” I can’t help but huff a laugh.

“You okay?” Felix asked. He receives a drink from Dina, which I assume he ordered while my mind wandered into the void yet again. She gives me a cheeky look before she disappears.

“Uh, yeah,” I muttered, leaning forward to suck down my drink until it was almost empty. Felix shakes his short glass around taking a small sip. “Thought you weren’t gonna drink?”

Licking his lips, I totally tried not to watch, he extended his arm to put his glass in front of my face, nodding his head once, telling me to take a sip. Flustered by his forwardness, I lower my chin and let him guide me to taste it.

The clear fizzy bubbles were simply a glass of Sprite.

I cringe at the intensity of the fizz making him laugh, and the boisterous, melodic sound is enough to paralyze me. The edges of his eyes crinkled, and his eyebrows perked up slightly, wearing the amusement purely in his complexion. His smile though… that was enough to cure a bad day, and it was happening without me even realizing it.

“You choose… Sprite?” I sneered, smacking my lips a few times before guzzling down what was left in my glass between the melted ice cubes. Felix laughs again. Soda was the bane of my existence, it was utterly disgusting, I couldn’t see why anyone would find it refreshing or as a first choice for a beverage- but I’d suffer through a glass just to keep him laughing.

“It’s good, you jerk.” The grin he wore negated his choice of word. “I’m responsible for another life tonight, I can’t drink.” Admirable.

“Still,” I shot him a sarcastic side eye, “It’s soda.”

“I just think you’re upset that your taste buds can’t handle the excellence that is this carbonated beverage,” Felix said. There’s a brief pause between us, one that makes us fall into a fit of laughter.

“Carbonated beverage,” I repeated, making us laugh even harder. “So specific.”

“Oh god,” Felix groans amongst the laughter, rubbing a hand over his eyes. Setting down his glass he massages his temples and takes a deep breath. “It’s been a long day.”

Following his breath I took my own, I hadn’t laughed in a while. “You worked, right?”

Dina swung back around to swipe my glass, replacing it with another full one and a wink.

“I did, and it was exhausting,” Felix said. “Everyone and their mother showed up today, I had, like, no breaks.”

Sipping my drink that tasted sweeter than the second one, I twisted my body toward him in the slightest. “Are you in the same… the, uh, same place as Changbin?” I asked tentatively, half worried he’d be offended that I never properly learned what he did for work.

With a smile he nods, sipping his amazing soda. “We’re still in the same place, just different positions, if that makes sense?” I give him a small hum to encourage him to go on. “We’re both with the kids, but Changbin kind of floats around the entire building while I stay in one wing.”

“Right,” I said quietly, zoned in on how expressive his face was as he spoke. “‘Cause he’s the music, and all that.”

Felix’s smile widens. “He’s the music, I like that.” I begged the blush not to rush to my cheeks. “He really is. The kids love him. I swear, most days we don’t make it through without him, ‘specially where I’m at.”

Furrowing my brows I rest my chin in one of my hands. “What do you do?”

“I work with the high risk kids,” he said, giving his head a little shake. “Anxiety, trauma, depression, PTSD. I’m usually the last option before… Well, if what I do doesn’t work out for them, they get admitted.”

Suddenly the quiet, smiley, always nice Felix made so much sense. He was a children's therapist alongside Changbin who worked in music therapy for all ages, all cases. No wonder Felix could feel what I was feeling when he sat down. That’s probably the reason he was checking me out from across the room. He had the ability to see the dark cloud over my head.

“A busy day means you helped a lot of kids,” I offered, taking note of how much I had drunk while he was talking. I was almost down another glass. Felix rolls his eyes slightly, the first tinge of negative emotion I’ve seen touch his angelic features.

“God, I hope so,” he said, shaking his glass. “I have one boy whose mother’s on the verge of taking him in, even though I’m doing everything I can.”

He didn’t intend to, but his words tumbled me back to twelve years old, when I’m pretty sure I had my first bout of panic. My mother was never around though, it was just me and my dad, and god forbid I ever felt nervous in front of him or tried to tell him I didn’t feel good.

“How old is he?” I asked. Felix pressed his lips together in a silly smile.

“I’m not supposed to tell you,” he said, then leaned in toward me to whisper, “Twelve.”

Up close like this, with a few inches between us, I could’ve counted the freckles on his cheeks if I wanted to. He didn’t stay within my personal bubble for too long before pulling away and sipping his drink.

His jaw could cut glass. I could literally slide my hand over it and it would hurt, that was how sharp it was. Although, as sharp as some of his features were, like his jaw or his collarbone, everything about Felix was soft. He was gentle. He was beautiful. No… He was pretty. And to me, that was a step above beautiful. Almost anything could be beautiful, but not everything could be pretty.

I think I’m a bit tipsy.

Clearing my throat, directing my attention to his eyes that gaze at the neon signs on the wall, the ones giving his round cheeks a tinge of a yellow glow, I asked, “What’s he deal with? The boy?”

Felix turns his chin, giving me another look that’s supposed to tell me he’s not allowed to share. The batting of his lashes, that definitely wasn’t intentional, makes my stomach flutter.

What the fuck?

“Let’s just say he’s kind of a nervous guy, okay?” he said, ending the discussion. “What about you?” Felix shifts his shoulders to face me like I had done to him. “Did you work today? Help a lot of people? You do that too, yanno.”

An exasperated breath escapes me. Dropping both hands into my lap I lean backward and shake my head. “No, no work for me today. Or yesterday.” Felix nodded, letting his gaze fall down my torso again before it came back up to my eyes. It was curious, how it felt like he was observing me. The friends in the back would do the same, yet when Felix does it, it doesn’t feel vulgar.

I’m shocked he even remembers what I do. It’s not like it was a career of importance, all I did was service cars in a mechanics garage- hence why my hands were destroyed, I hated the gloves, I worked with them bare. I wouldn’t say I helped people in the way Felix or Changbin did, I wasn’t healing people’s past’s, or working through their trauma, I was changing their oil, or repairing the engine beneath the hood of their ancient vehicles.

Like, seriously, the eighties happened six years ago. Get with the times. Get a new car.

“Do anything fun today, then? Anything exciting while I was coloring on the floor with a nine year old?” Felix’s smile is charming.

“Uh, well,” I began, wondering if I should share the events of last night, or, early this morning, with him. Then again, if Felix was to become a close friend that meant I had to share these things with him. I’d totally tell Changbin, shit, he’d be the first person I called if I didn’t share an apartment with Jade.

Damn it, Jade. It was like I had forgotten about her the second I saw Felix.

Whipping my head around to find her, she was perched on a high top chair with a glass in her hand full of a pink colored drink. One of the guys grabbed it for her without a doubt, they must’ve scurried over to the end of the bar Felix and I didn’t occupy to slyly get by.

Chan was next to her, a muscley arm around the back of her chair. Han and Changbin had found them, occupying the other seats with drinks. Minho and his silver hair, and his sturdy back, and his defined cheekbones were facing away from me. He was across the table in front of Jade, standing, leaning on the wood with a foot propped up on the rung of Han’s stool.

They were looking at each other, Jade’s eyes alight as she ran her mouth. When she paused to sip her drink, Minho spoke, and she watched him like he was made of stars.

Beside me Felix turns, following my line of sight.

“Everything okay?” he asked, like he could see my heart slipping out of my chest. “Wanna go sit over there?”

“Definitely not,” I whispered harshly, declining his offer with haste. Directing my attention to the bar as Jade’s discussion seemed to intensify, I sighed a bit dramatically, making Felix laugh.

“Did something happen?” he questioned. A quick shake of my head isn’t enough to satisfy him, and though it didn’t feel as if he was pestering me, I didn’t want to spill my insecurities to someone who didn’t know an ounce of my struggles. “You guys didn’t break up, did you?”

Slamming a hand on the bar I nearly broke my neck to shoot him a glare. “Do you want to be my therapist?”

My bitter tone slaps him across the face, hard. His lips pull into a small pout and his eyes go extremely wide. Taking a breath he gives me a small nod of his head.

“I’m sorry,” he said gently. “I overstepped, I’m sorry.”

Raising a brow I wait for him to say absolutely anything else before I choose my response. Apologies weren’t something I usually received, I was always the one to do the giving. All Felix had done was ask me some simple questions that I didn’t want to answer, it surely didn’t seem like anything to apologize for.

“No,” I shook my head, blinking a few times. Felix’s pout dissolves. “I’m… I’m sorry.” Familiar tasting words. Now this was normal.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Felix shrugged, brushing away the matter, sipping his drink. “I shouldn’t have pushed it, we can discuss more of my clients even though I could potentially get fired.” His smile returns and the polite change of subject puts me back in foreign territory. My comment wasn’t lashed back at with a rude remark, nor was it used against me. Felix didn’t get upset, he understood my backlash, why I did it, and moved past it without an explanation.

“I’m sorry,” I felt the need to repeat myself, keeping my eyes locked on his.

After another sip of his soda he puts the glass down and twists to face me completely. A smirk toyed at the corners of his lips.

“You don’t have to apologize, Hyunjin, it’s alright,” he said, reaching over to tap the top of my knee quickly. The sound of my name rolling off of his tongue was spine tingling.

“Yes, I do,” I said, turning myself to face him directly, our knees now touching. My legs were a little longer than his, so eventually my knees were going to have to end up between his.

“Why?” he asked, twisting his brows, giving his head a slight, endearing tilt.

Swallowing hard, I clear my throat and dart my eyes around his face to search for an answer. I had no idea what to say. I was taught growing up that if you made someone upset, you were to apologize for it. Jade’s heard the word ‘sorry’ more times than she can probably count.

The way Felix made a face after I snapped made me want to apologize, but I hadn’t a clue why he was questioning me for it.

“Uh,” I mumbled, finding warmth and comfort within his dark chocolate eyes, enough of it to try to speak up. “I thought I, uh, hurt your feelings, when I…”

Felix waited patiently for me to finish and only butted in when he realized I couldn’t put it together.

“I fired you up first,” he said. “I crossed a line after you tried to shut it down. You established a boundary, you had every right to bark like that.” I couldn’t hide the laugh that escaped me at the use of the word bark. Pressing my lips together in a small smile, I shook my head.

“You really are a therapist,” I said, dragging my eyes sarcastically over his tiny frame. Felix pops his brows, his grin glimmering with glamour.

Lifting his glass like I had before he sat down, he said, “A fine one, at that.” He takes the rim to his lips and shoots back the rest of the bubbles.

Taking this time to admire him and his perfectly sculpted profile, I cannot seem to shake the feeling of desire that begins to manifest within my chest. And, not a desire that I was used to feeling three drinks deep into a hangover recovery night. I wanted him to keep talking. I wanted to watch his lips to tell me more about this boundary thing, and how I wasn’t wrong for having feelings, and I wanted to ask him why talking about it felt weird.

If that would be him talking about work, I felt bad asking him to do it. I know how it feels to get off of a long shift and then have someone ask me to check their tires, I’d hate to make him use his brain when he should be having a fun night.

Felix was eyeing me back, bumping one of my knees by accident as he adjusted his feet under him. Realizing I was staring, I glanced at my glass quickly and found it empty.

When the hell did I finish that?

Looking back at Felix, he was still focused on me. He was waiting for me to say something. My tequila blundered thoughts couldn’t come up with anything smart, and beneath his gaze it was impossible for me to whip up anything sarcastic. He waited. He wasn’t going to… push.

“You look like you wanna say something?” he asked. Okay, he was waiting, but I guess he also wanted to help.

“I do,” I said, and he nodded. “But, I don’t want to… overstep.”

What the fuck is going on, I don’t talk like this.

Felix leans his cheek against the fist of the arm that rests on the bar, and the plush skin squishes on his knuckles, his appearance softening even more so, if it were possible.

“Say it,” he shrugged again. “If you overstep, you overstep. I’ll communicate it with you if you do.” His smile tells me a secret, it tells me he knows my objective. Calm, nice Felix finally shows a hint of mischievousness.

Darting my tongue between my lips, I notice that Felix tries his hardest not to watch. Rocking one of my knees into his I glance down at where they touch and lift just my eyes to look at him. A bit of his bottom lip has gone between his teeth, nibbling at the inside. The chocolate brown eyes that were once sweet had shifted to something that startled me a little to see. I didn’t know Felix was capable of eyes like that.

His knees close, catching one of my legs between them as predicted. “Don’t act so surprised, you’ve been looking at me exactly like that since I sat down,” he said quietly. My lips part, in surprise, and I’m incapable of conjuring up words. Alas, the air within Haven claims another victim. With a small nod of his head to the dance floor, Felix leaned toward me and whispered, “Either tone down the arousal, or tell me what’s happening with Jade. I don’t do cheaters.”

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yaksha-lover · 5 months

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Yandere question anon here. I completely agree on Rook and Malleus being on the list and Jade and Floyd aren’t too surprising. But I’ll be honest, you picking Jamil completely caught me off guard. That’s just not a character I immediately think of when looking at who would be most likely to have “yandere” tendencies.

But in the end, like you said, all of the boys are easy to twist into a yandere archetype. Though do you have any personal favorites? A specific depiction of a character or theme to a fic?

Haha maybe that’s just my bias that slipped in then because I’ve started to like Jamil a lot and read some great yandere characterizations of him. I do think that Jamil tends to slip under the radar though for how unhinged he can be, both in book 4 and events (as he should tho, I would be like that too after what he’s been through).

I’ve written a bit about this before, but (imo) Jamil has a lot of other priorities that occupy his mental/emotional energy than seeking out or just getting into a relationship. So IF he does, I expect it would have to be something that really gets his attention, enough that he’s willing to forgo his general misgivings about people and the world, and actual put effort into maintaining the relationship (taking away from his own personal time and agenda).

Also, I think there’s something to be said about how his forced submission and subservience to Kalim’s family has affected his thoughts on relationship dynamics. Jamil never wants to be at the mercy of anyone’s whims again. How can he avoid this? Complete control and dominance in any relationship he’s in. Jamil wants to be the one deciding things, the one who gets to have power for once. That’s sort of why I see him as potentially falling to a ‘yandere’ type, not obsessive in a delusional or romanticizing his darling way, but in a ‘I deserve something good after everything I’ve suffered way.’

As for depictions I like (pls no one judge me💀, this is just fictional), I pretty much enjoy almost every trope. I have a big interest in reading yandere fics, because I just find it very fascinating to combine genres like horror and romance (or even horror and comedy).

This is probably already obvious because he’s the main character I write, but I really like any multitude of yandere Malleus depictions. Protective Malleus? Possessive Malleus? Jealous Malleus? Insane Malleus? Delusional Malleus? Mean Malleus? All of them are great.

I tend to enjoy mean yanderes in general, and considering nrc is a villain school, I think a few of them fit in well in this trope because of their innate personalities. Leona is another one of my favs, and he definitely isn’t the type to be forwardly all sappy and cute even with someone he likes, so I tend to feel his meaner depictions are more canon and just more interesting. ‘Yeah he likes you, is obsessed with you even, but you’re never going to know it’ type thing.

In denial yanderes are also great, I like the dichotomy of being entirely obsessed with someone but also your own brain not being willing to process that obsession for what it is, instead blaming it on something like hatred and resentment. The mix of feelings of love and lust and hate and guilt are really interesting to me. As for twst boys, Rollo definitely comes to mind for this trope, or even maybe Sebek?

I also really like more manipulative yanderes who seem very innocuous at first. The type to be your friend, to cry and guilt-trip you into staying with them over going on a date with someone else, who always clings to your side. I think this works well with characters like Epel or even Azul.

Anyway, thanks for asking, it was fun to reflect hehe.

#tw: yandere #sorry this response got out of hand in terms of length again 💀#yaksha-lover replies

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dftea · 4 months

Text

Of Dances, Distractions, and Dangers

Three dancers, three dances, three dangerous distractions.

Jaskier & Geralt & Yennefer, pining and longing and stabbing, oh my! (geraskefer)

Jaskier launches into another crowd pleaser with a smile on his face and a twisting in his gut.

Yennefer and Geralt are gliding around the dancefloor like two people in love, as if there is no one else in the room. Thank the gods that Jaskier can’t grind his teeth while he’s singing or he’d have only gums left.

He knows it’s a ploy - they had discussed it at length, after all; argued over the risks, the potential reward. He knows he’s the distraction, the flashy airhead bard with his silks and smiles, while mutated and magical senses of witcher and witch seek out the threat.

But it's difficult to play his part when he’s so horribly jealous.

He could handle it when they were just fucking - not well, admittedly, but he was younger then. Now there’s fucking with feelings, and he’s definitely too old and too jaded to crush on his best friends like this.

Of course, because he can't take his eyes off them, he notices the man with the dagger just as he raises the blade.

His fingers slip on the lute for the first time in a decade or more, the discordant note obvious and awful. Geralt’s gaze fixes on him, catches his expression, and then he’s spinning and sweeping the would-be assassin's legs out from under him.

And Jaskier picks up the tune like nothing’s happened, nodding to the band in encouragement, as armed guards drag the broken man away.

He catches Yennefer’s nod of gratitude, the kind of gratitude a lioness displays to a gazelle she’s about to devour, and his stomach turns over in an entirely new way.

He is so fucked.

When they arrive at the tavern, there’s already a bard in residence, so Geralt has to suffer Jaskier’s extensive complaining about the loss of coin and then, worse still, his delighted horror that the bard is playing his songs.

She isn’t terrible, with her throaty warble and her delicate lyre, but that doesn’t stop Yennefer and Jaskier from whispering and giggling throughout her first set.

Geralt isn’t sure when the two of them became friends or when they started doing…whatever this is, where Yennefer will learn too close to Jaskier’s lips and he will idly trail his hand over the skirt of her dress.

All he knows is that it makes him feel…something, and he isn’t sure exactly what it is or whether he likes it.

Which is when the bard starts singing “Her Sweet Kiss” and Jaskier drags Yennefer up to dance with him.

Above the music and the crowd, Geralt can barely hear Jaskier murmuring the words against Yennefer’s ear, but her light laughter in response cuts straight through the tavern’s tumult.

And then Jaskier looks over Yennefer’s shoulder, straight into Geralt’s eyes. He smirks, and then turns Yennefer in his arms so that she can look at Geralt while leaning against him.

Which is when he realises that he’s been played, that the gods-damned bard and witch are teasing him.

That the feeling is lust and something else, something sweeter, a honey-coated longing for two people he trusts to be two people he pleases in every way he can imagine.

And they knew before he did, of course, because they’ve always been quick and smart and adventurous in a way he can never hope to match.

Jaskier twirls Yennefer again, takes her back into his arms, and puts on a show for Geralt’s benefit. The way his lips brush against the soft skin of her neck alone…

He stands and strides towards them, grabbing hold of Jaskier’s wrist - all strength hidden beneath flowing fabric, but without an ounce of resistance. Not for him.

“Upstairs. Now.”

His bard’s smile is blinding, and that lilac-scented laughter follows him all the way to their bed.

III

The xenovox buzzes to life on her dressing table, unexpected and dreadful.

“Something’s wrong with Geralt.” Jaskier’s voice is quiet, clandestine. “Strange. He– no, fuck!”

The tiny box is suddenly quiet as a stone, and Yennefer seizes hold of it, portalling to the vicinity of its twin.

She stumbles out into woodland, too still and hushed for the early evening. She looks around the tree she almost walked into - and her heart seizes in her chest.

Jaskier dances around Geralt, one hand raised to his bleeding head and the other held before him, a delicate silver dagger clutched in a white-knuckled grip.

He moves like someone who was trained to the sword, the way a guard captain might shape a young viscount destined for an earldom.

Which is no use at all against a rampaging witcher, even one who seems to have forgotten how to use a sword and is brandishing it like one might wield a stick.

Yennefer can feel the wrongness rolling off Geralt in waves, but she isn’t close enough to affect it. She will need to touch him to grasp hold of whatever has ensnared him.

“Help is coming,” Jaskier tells him through bloodied lips, striving to be calm. “You just have to hold on.”

Geralt responds by taking a swipe at Jaskier, who stumbles back a step or two, belatedly remembering he has a dagger to block with. Little more than a letter opener, really, and Yennefer will insist he carries a real blade in future.

In the future she must create from blood and fear and desperation.

She sees the exact moment that Jaskier notices her: the quick succession of relief that she’s here, the realisation that he must be the distraction, and the resolution to protect her, even though he is fragile and foolish.

“Help is coming,” he repeats, with a wobbly smile, and allows Geralt to stab him.

The blade sticks in the meat of his shoulder, and Yennefer leaps across the clearing to lay both hands on Geralt.

She hears screaming, she tastes blood and ozone, and she forces her eyes open to watch Jaskier’s face as Geralt lets go of the sword and places both hands on their bard’s face.

“Jask…no, you’re bleeding…”

“You’re all right,” Jaskier says, faintly, then pitches forward into Geralt’s chest.

Yennefer is vaguely aware that Geralt is holding them both up, the bleeding bard and the spent sorceress, in a parody of the many nights they’ve spent in torment and lust.

“Fuck,” he says, emphatically, that one word carrying the weight of his guilt.

“Not right now, darling,” Jaskier slurs, and Yennefer cannot help the sob of laughter that escapes her lips.

Later, they will lie together, Yennefer pressed against Geralt’s broad back, as he curls around Jaskier and kisses the pulse at his neck to prove he’s alive.

And Jaskier will laugh and sing a few lines about worrywart witchers, earning him Yennefer’s laughter and Geralt’s grudging smile.

The perfect accompaniment to the dance that ends with the setting sun, that sees them sleeping beneath the stars, dreaming of a constellation of three.

#the witcher #the witcher fic #geraskefer #hurt/comfort #dftea writes

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outpost51 · 9 months

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I'm still trying to imagine having 49 types of magic in one wip lol

Go nuts you say? 😏

6. COURAGE - What's the last word you had to google the definition of?

19. FEAR - What is your greatest fear as a writer?

31. LUST - Who is your hottest OC?

42. SOUL - What is your favourite WIP?

45. STRENGTH - What kind of scene are you best at?

49 Questions

starlit ilysm you matched the FUCK out of my energy

6. COURAGE - What's the last word you had to google the definition of?

wastrel, apparently! cannot for the life of me figure out....where i used it. hold on. OHO I NEVER POSTED IT HEY YOU WANT SOME ANGST I'LL SHOVE IT AT THE END

19. FEAR - What is your greatest fear as a writer?

despite overcoming the "i write for myself, and other people enjoying it is a nice bonus" fear (with a not-so-insignificant amount of emotional battle scars at the end), i can't seem to shake "but what if they hate it?"

31. LUST - Who is your hottest OC?

this is so hard (lol) just because i write erotica and therefore i design ocs that are (supposed to be) hot, but i think it's a toss-up between kadmos, rima, and zadimus?

42. SOUL - What is your favourite WIP?

hhhhhhhhh this changes from week to week tbh. right now, between a rock and a hard place is fighting me tooth and nail, so it's in the naughty box. helix? helix.

45. STRENGTH - What kind of scene are you best at?

fighting and ✨spice✨. those are the ones my friends go most feral over, and they're my target audience c:

anyway have some wlw grief-pining and some very yummy (subjective) waterlogged ghost imagery that takes place between chapters 2 and 3 of stellar parallax.

with mood music, natch.

★・・・・・・★

bitter bright wings.

this thing, all things, devours.

mature || 430 words || c/w: implied sexual content, vague gore?

Hannah didn’t sleep. Not since first contact, not since whatever other atrocities they’d had her commit in the name of exploration, expansion, extermination. As her physician, Dr. Chakwas felt the compulsion to nag her about it, offer sleep aids, ensure she got enough rest to properly harass General Arterius, or whatever it was she did in those meetings.

As her friend — nothing more, no-fuss, it had become her mantra, the thing that helped her sleep at night — Karin was perfectly content to settle for cold skin and trembling limbs wrapping around her and stealing a bit of peace in what narrow time frame they had left before wake-up calls started rolling out. Sometimes that cold took a bit more than no-fuss to chase it away; on those nights, she didn’t settle for anything, not until they were both breathless and laughing and the wake-up call had rang sometime between round three and round seven. They had better things to count, after all, as they drug them out of each other one-by-one.

It was another one of those nights, then, she thought as those cold limbs squeezed tight around her waist. “One day I’m just going to sedate you,” she scolded lightly.

A rush of frigid saline swilled over her back in response.

Karin spun violently in the embrace, already reaching for the phone’s blinking emergency call button — the deep, dark green eyes she once thought she could spend hours gazing into, that held an ever-raging storm like Jupiter’s Great Spot, had clouded over, turning them a milky jade.

Amazing how Hannah was still recognizable beneath all the discoloration and bloat one acquired when dropped into a watery grave. “Help her,” she rasped.

Her mouth opened to ask who, exactly, Hannah wanted her to help, but something jerked her out of bed and dashed her onto the floor.

“Dr. Chakwas!”

If Pressly’s shouting hadn’t managed to wake her from the nightmare, falling out of her chair certainly had. “Someone better be dying,” she grumbled, barely making an effort to rise.

“Shepard.”

That name had always given her wings, hadn’t it? “What happened to John?”

“The commander is fine.” A sneer twisted up Pressly’s features. “It’s his wastrel of a sister causing problems again.”

Karin’s jaw creaked with the effort of holding herself back. She’d taken an oath to do no harm. “Well, what are you standing here for?” she barked. “Clear a path.” Punching him wouldn’t help Jane, she told herself.

She imagined Hannah knocking his lights out instead as she snapped on a fresh pair of gloves.

#ans.txt #my fic #shorts and oneshots tag #helix series #stellar parallax

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fonulyn · 1 year

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My turn, my turn, my turn.

1: Which fic did you finish and go, "Well, I didn't see that one coming"?

2: Which fic were you surprised did as well as it did?

3: Which fic did you feel sad to finish?

oh fun! :D

lol okay i (surprisingly) couldn't pick just one so here's my top contenders and my reasoning for them.

heal the scars and change the stars (Piers/Leon, getting back together, near death for Leon but what else is new :'D) lmao this one came to me in a dream, i literally woke up all "okay then" and had to then work it into a bit more coherent thing, but it ate at me until i did so. but yeah didn't see it coming, my subconsciousness cooked it up from somewhere lol.

also life healed like a wound (we will be alright) (Piers/Leon, breaking up and getting back together) was a similar thing, I woke up one morning with the breakup scene seared into my brain and I just had to write it. but of course I couldn't let them be unhappy so i also had to fix it! i thought i'd write a couple of fics for this pairing, but somehow it ended up taking over my heart in a storm. now this series has over 100k words and i've written like a hundred fics of the pair so :'D we all see how that turned out.

my jaded heart is yours to poison with your flame (Krauser/Leon, DC-ish) was also something similar, I played Darkside Chronicles with my brother and I thought I'd just write one quick fic to get the pairing out of my system :'D surprise, lmao, to this day it remains one of my top fave pairings :'D

there are others, too, that I never thought I'd write but somehow did. the Chris/Wesker smut, it's not a pairing I'd be particularly into but the fic demanded to happen, or the Adam/Leon companion piece for Tir's fic that I legit still don't understand where it came from :'D, or the monsterfucking series considering I thought I'd forever be too chickenshit to write any of it, or the Krauser's back series I firmly thought would be just one fic but turned into a trilogy :'D

or last chance garage (ot3 retirement fic lol) that was supposed to only be a quick 2k at most, but turned into 8k somehow before letting me go. not complaining, i think it turned good, but it wasn't exactly the intention lol.

2. the angsty answer is that the ones i desperately want to do well never seem to, and then the ones that actually do well are some random things i just threw out there lol. the less angsty answers are:

outside of the RE fandom I'm legit surprised that nobody's perfect (TOG, mostly a group fic tbh) got so popular, it's a feelgood "I think I'm funny" kind of fic lmao and it's got almost twice the kudos to the next most kudosed fic of mine. i mean it was fun to write, it still makes me smile, but i thought some of the more serious fics i put much more thought into would be better received :'D not complaining, it's nice that the feelgood fic did well. another one i'm surprised about is the super old kpop fic (Resurgence) that I reposted on ao3 on request, because holy shit i've never gotten that many comments ever. not even when I was actively in that fandom.

in the RE fandom I'm mostly surprised that now drunk on lust I drown in you (forever within I'm lost in you) (Chris/Leon, get together pwp) was as popular as it was. it was supposed to be a quick short pwp, it ran away from me, and i guess that's a good thing :'D also my first fic in this fandom, we didn't know how to fly so high (burned down before we reached the sky) (Chris/Leon, getting back together, idk what else random tropes), i... when I posted the first chapter it got exactly one comment and I thought "oh well, might as well finish anyway" and it was supposed to be my first and last RE fic. but looking back at it now? it's accumulated quite a nice amount of feedback over the years, which is nice :)

also the Leon has a son, surprise! -series did surprisingly well lol especially since the second part has an OC-centric pairing.

3. short answer is none, really, because i'm in general always happy when I get something done and finish a story! it's such a nice feeling of accomplishment when i can look at a complete fic and let it be free.

but I suppose that when I'll finally wrap up the self-indulgent series it'll be a bittersweet moment and i'll be sad to let it go. although right now i've been stalling with it anyway. feelings are complicated. but yeah, that series has been a part of my life for so long it'll require some mourning when it's gone.

#thanks for the ask :D #lol it's kinda nostalgic #looking at old fics #me and my fics #ask and i shall answer #attackpoodle

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mollymauk-teafleak · 2 years

Text

I will listen, tell it all (chapter one)

As promised, I'm reworking my beloved courtesan au! In the form of putting a background pairing from the widomauk centric stories front and centre, with a fully fleshed out world now, I hope you enjoy!

This is also an already belated and extended wedding gift for my wonderful friend and percahlia queen @minky-for-short! And thanks as always to my most favourite person @nb-fearne for beta reading!

Please comment over on Ao3 I would super appreciate it!

-------

Vex'ahlia loves her life, as one of the most celebrated and beloved courtesans in the city. And what's not to love? She has her brother, her family and all the confidence and assurance in herself she was missing back in Syldor.

And now she has a new client, one Percival de Rolo.

------

Art is subjective. A very drunk dealer for the Rexxantrum Gallery had whispered that in Vex’ahlia’s ear, not long after she’d become a Jewel.

She didn’t remember much about that particular appointment, the poor dealer had been a little drunker than clients strictly should be that early into their hour together. But she did think of that, the thing about art being subjective, whenever she walked through the brothel’s foyer and saw the portraits hanging there. Because she knew they meant very different things to different people.

The clients walking through the doors, sometimes in large, raucous groups already half drunk and giggling their way through dirty jokes, sometimes furtively with hoods drawn up, sometimes confidently like they thought this place was another corner of the world they owned, to them the portraits were a menu. They were there to be gazed at in awe if they’d heard of the famous Jewels, they were to be lusted over, they were to steer a decision. They beckoned.

Every courtesan who worked there had one, framed in gold and hung in the same order of the apartments they occupied, painted skillfully and richly by an artist friend of Marion’s. They were explicitly provocative, what wasn’t directly on show was strongly hinted at, full of winks and nudges to particular skills or specialties. For example, there was a reason that Beau- Jade, according to the plaque under her portrait- was depicted eating a peach and twirling a cherry between her fingers, in a way that could only be described as delightfully obscene. To the prospective clients walking past them, these portraits made promises and crooked fingers. Come in and call me yours for however long your gold lasts.

But Vex knew Marion looked at these portraits and saw her family. The names on the little brass plaques might be their stage names, gemstones rather than people, but the grande dame of the Jewellery Box had made sure they never felt like possessions here. To her, the one who’d welcomed them all no matter where they’d stumbled in from or how heavy they’d thought their burdens were, these paintings were a very unconventional family portrait. Vex had often caught the soft spoken older tiefling gazing at them with a gentle expression, before she went out to light the red lamp every evening.

Some of the Jewels looked at their portraits with a wry smiling pride. Some rolled their eyes at them, cringing fondly at some of the decisions made in the heat of the moment. Some of the ones who’d been here the longest lamented the times when they’d been that flexible or wondered where that particular piece of jewellery or silk had ended up. Most felt many things when they looked at these depictions of their selves who weren’t themselves, the roles they played as long as that red lamp was flickering above the door.

Everyone saw something different, things that were hard to put a name to, things that hid behind other things that were easier to deal with. But Vex’ahlia had only ever seen one thing.

The courtesan’s name was Onyx. She was depicted in a forest, standing tall with her curtain of black hair swept back by a wind that you could almost feel in the richness of the oils, proudly showing her slightly pointed ears. Majority of the material she wore was on her forearms in the form of two fine leather braces, very little left to preserve her modesty anywhere else but that wasn’t exactly the point now, was it? What was left was soft and dark as shadow to match her hair, like she was some hunter goddess cloaking herself in night. Her only ornamentation that wasn’t designed to stop an arrow was a necklace laying in the valley of her breasts, a purple crystal on a leather tie. All her finery was instead concentrated into the magnificent bow she drew back, all supple, gilded wood with fantastic carving, all the power of it bending to her wiry muscles. Onyx was strong, unapologetically so.

Vex’ahlia often spent her quiet moments, in the milky light of dawn when the rest of the courtesans were stretching and chatting in the lounge or devouring a well earned breakfast or simply collapsing into sleep, sat in the foyer gazing at her painting. Sometimes she would doze off sitting here, usually to be found by her brother, who’d just wake her gently and help her upstairs to her room without asking questions.

Art may be subjective but Vex knew exactly what she saw when she looked at her portrait. She saw someone she’d always wanted to be so desperately. Someone she’d lost, back in Syngorn, when she’d so briefly held that bow before it was taken and broken along with any faith she’d ever had in herself. Someone she’d been trying to be after they’d left, when Vax had needed her to take charge and lead and find a path for them, but it had never fit right, like a pair of boots on the wrong feet.

Vex saw the person who, now she was safe in the Jewellery Box, she was growing to know better and better each day. Someone she wasn’t going to lose again.

Every Jewel had their own ritual for getting ready. But Vex and Vax did things the way they’d always done it. They did it together.

Vex was wide awake, as always, already fed and watered and washed, twice over after a long visit to the archery butts Marion had kindly put into one of the unused tower rooms for her. Vax slouched through the door that adjoined their rooms just as the sky was darkening into dusk and the lamp was an hour or so from lighting.

“I’m not doing your makeup for you,” Vex said, as soon as she saw him skulk through the background of her dressing table mirror.

Her brother gave a plaintive whine, taking a nose dive into her bed, messing up the way she’d neatly made it half a day ago, “Stubby…don’t make me walk all the way up to Shaun’s…”

“Shaun should tell you the exact same thing I’m about to tell you,” Vex was unmoved, opening a gilded box of powder and starting to dab it lightly onto her cheeks, “Quit being lazy and do it yourself.”

There was an indistinct noise from her pillow, one she knew her brother well enough to interpret.

“You’re too sleepy to do it because you wake up half an hour before showtime,” Vex reminded him, moving onto her eyes, applying kohl with a much heavier hand than she’d done the powder.

Vax turned his head, hair spread in an inky halo around him, “I had a long night! The Marquet ambassador wanted me and Mollymauk at once.”

“So you did half the work you usually do?” Vex arched her now accentuated left eyebrow at him.

“I had to keep up with Molly!” the indignance was enough to sit him up, “Do you know how hard that is? The guy’s a bloody acrobat!”

Vex rolled her eyes, “Very well. You had a long night. What’s your excuse for oversleeping the rest of the time?”

Vax broke out his most devastating weapon, pouting and filling his eyes at will in a way only a trained actor could do. Or a brother.

“Because I have the best sister in the whole wide world who helps me get ready. Usually…”

Vex sighed and put down her lip paint, pushing back her chair, kicking it out and pointing to it, “Fuck you. Sit down.”

Vax’s face lit up like a sunbeam, triumphant. He scrambled out of her silk sheets to sit down before her, tilting his face up expectantly. Just like every evening.

“You could break Shaun so much faster. Why do you bother with me?” Vex sighed, though they both knew fine well she’d already planned her outfit and finished her make-up so she’d have plenty of time to help him. Just like every evening.

Vax smiled a little guiltily, “Please don’t tell him this because I still want him to marry me. But I like the way you do it better.”

Vex chuckled, putting a steadying hand under his chin, “That man is head over heels for you, Scrawny. He’d marry you anyway. Close your eyes.”

“Still, I’m not taking any chances,” Vax obeyed as powder puffed up in clouds around his cheeks, “So. What’s Onyx’s book like tonight? Will I be able to steal you away for a dance?”

“You can have as many dances as you like,” Vex hummed, lost in the comforting familiarity of applying makeup to a face identical to her’s, save a few light scars here and there, “I haven’t got any pre-arranged appointments tonight.”

Vax’s eyes snapped open in shock, causing him to yelp in pain a second later when he inevitably got powder in them.

“Rub your eyes right now and I will end you,” Vex told him calmly, “I told you to close them.”

“Come on!” Vax frowned but he did keep his hands at his sides, “You’ve not had a free night since you started working here!”

Vex dabbed gently at the tears that were running down his cheek, “Well, I had Lady Ashra but she had to cancel last minute. Not enough time to find someone else to fill the hours. You know how it is in the summer, so people off at their fancy coastal manses…I’m looking forward to a quieter night, actually.”

Vax had never been one to flatter herself but she’d learned better since becoming a courtesan. She knew she was a very popular choice in the Jewellery Box, she always had been. Her books were usually full months in advance, with parties and galas and fancy dinners during the evenings and a string of paying lovers every night. Those who paid for her time praised her conversation skills, her wit, her dancing, giving her something of a reputation about the city.

It was amusingly ironic. Not good enough for the elves of Sygorn but more than fine for the nobles of Rexxantrum. It was an effort not to think of the cruel things her father would say at that.

“Well, I’m sure it’ll be someone’s lucky night,” Vax hummed, his voice soft and musical and just the right amount of mocking, “A surprise visit with the famous Onyx…”

“Shut up,” Vex rolled her eyes as she lightly filled in his lips with a lighter red than her’s, “What about you? Who’s Obsidian spending his night with?”

“Well, technically I’ve got de Rolo on the books tonight, he’s in the city on a trade deal,” Vax hummed, clearly enjoying the gentle touch of the brush, he’d always loved having his makeup done, “But I think I’m going to bring Shaun into it.”

Vex paused, “De Rolo’s coming round? He’s a big ticket, are you sure you want to share?”

Not that she had personal experience. De Rolo wasn’t one to ascend the winding stairs with a lady but he had the generosity they often saw with people who couldn’t be themselves outside of the Jewellery Box. Secrets were worth a little more.

Vax tilted his head, “Me and Shaun are the same pot, Stubby. I’m kind of about to sign up to share everything with him. And besides, de Rolo needs it, the poor fellow’s got daddy issues coming out of his ears and you know lads like that absolutely flock to Shaun...”

“Oh does he now?” Vex smirked, folding her arms.

Her brother opened his mouth, realised what he’d said and snapped it shut again, raising an accusing finger.

“Hey now.”

Vex cackled, shooing him out of her chair and back towards the door, “Thank you, Scrawny. I’ll be smiling about that one all night.”

“Fuck you,” Vax groaned, though his heart wasn’t in it, he was fighting a wry smile himself, “But one dance. Promise?”

“A dance,” Vex put her palm on his chest, over his heart, the way they’d always done when they were making a promise to each other, “Now. Go put on something revealing and expensive.”

She watched as her brother disappeared into his own room, lingering a few seconds longer than she really needed, just like always. Just in case. Only when she could hear him scrambling through his wardrobe, making silks whisper and ornaments rattle, did Vex close the door.

Onyx was rather looking forward to a quiet night.

“Friends, please, show your thanks to our wonderful Petal!”

Vex and the other Jewels scattered around the lounge hardly needed to be told twice. While the clients applauded, they stamped their feet and whistled and whooped, bringing a grin to Petal’s face as he bowed up on stage. His routine was worth the clamour, the lithe halfling had seemed to untether himself from gravity entirely, turning and twisting in mid air and conjuring bursts of pink blossoms from nowhere to swirl around him and look like extensions of his costume.

But what really lit up the stage was the fact that Petal- Orym to his family, once the lamp had gone out- so clearly loved what he did. That faint sadness tucked into his eyes only ever faded when he danced.

With the performance done and the next one not for another few hours, their bard shifted into something light and airy, something that could facilitate conversation but also someone could close their eyes and lose themselves in it if they needed a moment. This new bard was still finding his feet amongst the Jewels, still blushing and stuttering whenever anyone teased him as they always did with the new ones. But Storm certainly knew his business even if Dorian was still getting comfortable. He would though, they always did.

Not everyone could be a Jewel. But those who did were always meant to be.

Vex made her way to the bar, thinking she could allow herself another drink. The night was maturing and still her time was her own. She did love her job but this chance to linger in the lounge and chat with her family, enjoy the music and the dancing alongside them without being whisked up the stairs, was proving to be a treat.

Like Storm and Petal, Sapphire wasn’t a Jewel in the sense that her time could be purchased. But she had been the first to get her gemstone nickname from Marion, the one who had started the tradition in the first place. A gift from a mother to her daughter that she’d then so kindly extended to the rest of them. And those who’d been here long enough could still remember when Marion’s little Sapphire- Jester, a true name she’d more than earned- had been too small to be seen past the bar she now operated every night.

As Vex approached, passing from the brighter lights of the stage area, through to the softer lamp light of the bar and the semi-private booths, Jester was handing off one of her dangerous concoctions to an unsuspecting customer. The glass was piled high with as many fruit garnishes and magical flourishes as could fit and the colour alone could cause a bitch of a hangover.

“I call it Rainbow Candyfloss Toxic Explosion!” Jester announced grandly, conjuring a burst of confetti along with her exuberant jazz hands.

Vex laughed as she leaned against the bar, watching the customer teeter off with their listing tower of fruit, sugar and alcohol, “I hope that comes with a health potion chaser. They’re going to need it.”

Jester beamed brightly, “Does that mean you don’t want one, Onyx?” Only gem names once the doors opened to the public.

Vex pretended to think, humouring her, “Perhaps later. For now I’ll take another of your lovely Marquet Sunrises.”

Jester blew a raspberry, “Boring. But only because it’s you.”

“Thank you darling,” Vex reached across the bar and gave her a pat on the cheek.

However much she’d rather be experimenting, Jester soon had a tall glass full of swirling, glittery yellow and red liquid in front of Vex.

“It’s nice to have you downstairs tonight,” Jester pushed it over to her with a sweet smile, a smile for a friend and not a customer.

“Nice to be here,” Vex gave her one in return, though some commotion by the entrance drew her focus.

“De Rolo is in the building,” Jester hummed, happily snacking on her own garnishes, “Your brother better have stretched good.”

Vex snorted, wrinkling her nose at Jester. The bar had a good view of the gossamer curtains of the entrance, she didn’t even have to crane her neck to see the tall, handsome Julius de Rolo standing there, all of his lordly charm on full display as he kissed the back of Marion’s hand and bowed low before her. He looked every inch the man he was, oldest son and heir of the famously beautiful, famously rich city state of Whitestone, confidence lighting him up from the inside.

Only the trained eye of an experienced courtesan saw the relief he hid behind that smile. The full, deep breath he was finally taking, now he was in a place where he didn’t have to hide. Where he could go upstairs with whoever he wanted.

“It’s so sad,” Jester was clearly seeing it too, her voice pitched low, “I’m sure if he just told his parents he was gay they’d be fine with it and he could be happy…”

Vex reached over and took Jester’s hand where it rested on the oak bar, squeezing gently, “Their problems aren’t ours, Jessie. We can only give them what they need while they’re here with us.”

Vex didn’t blame her for being optimistic, for having a storybook ending in mind for everyone who walked through their doors. Jester had only ever known the Jewellery Box, her mother who loved her and cherished her, the adoration of her two girlfriends, and a family all around her. She’d always felt safe.

But the world wasn’t The Jewellery Box.

“Oh,” Jester’s voice flooded with excitement, her eyes widened and fixed back on the entrance, “Something new!”

Vex glanced over. The something new was another man, younger than Julius. The feature that struck first and hardest was his eyes, probably because they were amplified by a thick pair of owlish glasses. Then the rather unruly mop of dark brown hair that had clearly fought back against the attempt to wrestle it into anything acceptable. Then the strong jaw, the large nose, the myriad of familial similarities that left no doubt as to who this young man was.

“Not de Rolo,” Jester hummed interestedly, “De Rolo s.”

Vex tilted her head, sharing her friend’s immediate focus on this new but not so new face in their midst, “I thought the next one was a sister? Maybe she’s not one for the cat house.”

“I’m not so sure this one is either.”

Jester wasn’t wrong. This younger de Rolo- though not as young as Vex had first thought, he simply had a youthful face- was looking around the Jewellery Box like a chick who’d wandered into a nest of snakes. A lot of first timers came in with that look, especially if coming here hadn’t been their idea. And judging by the way he clung to his brother’s sleeve, that was the case.

Greetings given and introductions made, Julius steered his younger brother towards the lounge, clearly his appointed time with Vax’ildan was not for a while. Once their backs were turned, Marion caught Vex’s eye deliberately and signed a quick message to her, in the hand signal language all the Jewels knew.

New. Undecided. Reassure. Downstairs for now.

Vex gave her mistress a subtle nod, hunger’s eyes tracking the brother’s movement through the fairly ample evening crowd. They took a table by the stage, Julius immediately turning to greet the Jewels around him, while his sibling sat frozen.

Jester had seen her mother’s message, “Have fun, Onyx.”

Vex took her drink, blowing Jester a kiss as she moved back into the press of bodies, “Thanks for the drink, Sapphire.”

She took her own table next to theirs, waiting for Julius to leave for his appointment before making her approach, sipping her drink and listening to the music. But, as she’d always done, even before she was Onyx, she let a little of the conversations around her tune in. A survival tactic she’d never quite managed to shake.

Julius had turned back to his brother and his tone was a one she recognised, she’d both heard it from Vax and had given it to him, “Perce, if you’d be more comfortable waiting at the hotel, I don’t mind. I’ll even come back with you if that’s what you need.”

His brother had an edge of panic in his voice, “No! No, you don’t have to do that, I…I know how much you look forward to coming here. Don’t ruin that just because I’m being-”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Julius’ voice was still gentle, “Percy, it’s okay. It’s a new place full of people and you’re far from Whitestone. But that can be a good thing. You’re safe here, I’d never bring you somewhere dangerous.”

“I know,” some of the nervousness had left the voice of the young de Rolo- Percy, she could now think of him as.

“Maybe in time, this place can do for you what it’s done for me,” Julius said reassuringly, “And if not, that’s fine…look, I need to head upstairs. Just have a drink, listen to some music, try to relax. I won’t leave without you.”

A scraping of a chair being pushed back and footsteps that vanished into the low murmur of the crowd. Percy sighed and Vex heard him shift, probably looking around anxiously for how to order a drink.

Her cue.

“Good evening,” she didn’t inject anything into her voice but genuine friendliness, standing and turning to face him with a dazzling smile as though she’d just been happening by, “I haven’t seen you around here before. Though your face is familiar…”

Those owlish eyes widened in alarm for a second before he registered the welcoming tone, “Oh…um, good evening, my lady.”

Vex liked him already, “My name is Onyx. And yours?”

Percy took her hand and, honest to the gods, pressed a kiss to the back of it like they were at some lord’s ball, “Percival de Rolo. At your service.”

“Percival,” she rolled the name around her tongue, smiling, “Well, it is a pleasure. I know all this can seem a little daunting at first, we Jewels do like to go all out but it can make the basics a little hard to decipher for newcomers. So might I order a drink for you?”

He visibly relaxed, “Please. Would you join me?”

“I would be delighted,” she said earnestly, like doing just that wasn’t the task she’d been set for the evening.

She signalled over to Jester at the bar for two glasses of wine. Wine was always a safe choice with young lords, they’d grown up on the stuff. It always set them at ease and, crucially, it was easy to water down when needed.

“Apologies, I didn’t answer you,” Percival spoke with the formality of the upper classes, “I probably look familiar because you know my brother, Julius.”

Vex gave a sigh of realisation, like this was new to her, “Oh of course! Dear Julius, he’s such a favourite around here.”

Percy nodded and opened his mouth to say something more but at that moment a large crowd of young rakes moved past them, the loud voices and clamour raised by alcohol and frivolity making Percy flinch hard and duck his eyes. Vex frowned gently.

“Yes, he’s…he’s my brother, my older brother, I…” Percy tried to pick up the threads of his thought but his eyes were darting around the room now and his fingers were tapping on the mosaic tabletop.

“So you live in Whitestone too?” Vex asked kindly, leaning forward, trying to distract him with a question, “Julius has made it sound so beautiful.”

Percy’s wide eyes flickered back to her. The wine glasses appeared on their table at that moment, making Vex send a prayer of thanks to Jester, and the young lordling eagerly seized his.

“It, ah, it is,” Percy took a small sip, more grateful for the glass to hold than the contents of it, “The peaks around it are beautiful and…and the snow…”

The room around them erupted in sudden cheers, as some overly merry sorcerer Fearne had in her lap ascended the table and conjured miniature fireworks that filled the space with sound and light, probably to amuse the faun courtesan who they knew as Alexandrite.

Vex laughed in delight as gemstone light fell across them all in bursts. Sometimes the clients provided their own entertainment.

“Would you believe that’s one of the top mages of the Arcana Guild?” she chuckled, turning back to Percy.

Only to see him ashen faced and shaking.

Vex acted fast, reaching across the table and putting her hand on his, feeling them tight and ready to break the glass in his hand, “Percy?”

“Is…has Julius gone upstairs already?” his voice was barely audible under the crackle and fizz of the miniature fireworks but Vex had good hearing.

“He has but I’ll get him for you,” Vex promised, already guiding him to his feet, “Come on, I’ll take you upstairs where it’s quiet. Is that okay?”

Percy nodded, muscles tensing hard at every fresh burst. Vex put a steadying hand on his arm, finding the shortest route through the tables and knots of people, taking them towards the door tucked away in one corner, the one that was surrounded by gorgeous stone carvings of erotic scenes and climbing ivy. She pressed the gem of her onyx bracelet into a particular leaf that looked no different from any of the others but every courtesan could find in the dark.

There was a low, faint rumble of stone but nothing discernable changed about the door itself and Vex knew no Jewel in the tower felt any shift. Such was the magic that allowed Marion’s tower to hold exactly the number of rooms it needed, no more and no less, and to save any tipsy clientele from a possibly dangerous trip down the spiral staircase that did exist beyond the door if no room was summoned.

Pushing open the thick oak door revealed Onyx’s room. Not Vex’s room, that was carefully hidden away behind the back wall of this expansive space, with its enormous bed and windows that showed a lush forest beyond that didn’t actually exist. It was tastefully and extravagantly decorated, all with Vex’s input, but she was sure Percy didn’t care one jot for the hunting tapestries and decorative bows bolted to the walls and faux animal skins. It was quiet as soon as the door creaked shut and that was all that mattered.

“Here, come sit,” she guided him to the bed, sat him down, “Deep breaths now. In and out, that’s it.”

Once Percy’s shallow, rapid breaths had started to lengthen and deepen, Vex snatched up a jar of large glass beads set on the bedside table, designed to magnify the candlelight.

She tipped them across the blue silk sheets, “Here. Count these for me, Percy. And keep up those deep breaths, you’re doing well.”

He seized on the task with palpable relief, setting his shaking hands to sliding one bead at a time over to his side, mouth moving silently as he counted. By the time he was at twenty, his fingers were still and he was breathing evenly again.

Vex smiled gently, reaching over and squeezing his shoulder, “Good. Feeling alright again, Percy?”

“Yes,” his eyes moved to her face, embarrassment opening up deep wells inside them, “I…I’m very sorry, my lady, that was…I shouldn’t have allowed myself to lose control like that…”

Vex cut across him gently, “You don’t need to apologise at all, Percy. Apologies are for when you’ve done something wrong. I’ll just message my brother and we can have Julius down here in just a moment-”

“No,” Percy yelped and then instantly blushed, “I mean, forgive me. But please, I really do feel okay, I don’t want to interrupt Julius. He deserves a night to…to himself, I don’t want to ruin it.”

Vex frowned gently and sat next to him on the bed, “I’m sure Julius would care more about you feeling safe.”

“I do feel safe,” Percy insisted, “Now. Here. With you.” The blush on his high cheekbones darkened.

“I’m glad,” she smiled fondly, delicately breaking their gaze to gather up the beads, giving him a chance to compose himself.

“How did you know what to do?” he asked after a moment of cleaning his glasses on the hem of his shirt, “It was exactly what Julius or my sister would have done, I thought there was some instruction manual for my mind that only they had access to.”

Vex chuckled gently, running her thumb across the cool, smooth beads in her hand. Suddenly, she wasn’t meeting his eye for her own benefit.

“I used to have moments like that myself. I simply did what my brother would do for me.”

Her voice was small all of a sudden, as if the unexpected truth was a weight pressing down on it. Why she’d chosen to give this stranger a piece of herself, her real self and not the courtesan they all came here to see, Vex couldn’t say. And she braced herself, fingers tightening around those beads, waiting for the inevitable punishment, a reflex from another place and time. Vex had been trying to be braver since she became a Jewel but showing a weak spot like that was just reckless.

But Percy’s voice was as tired and as gentle as it had been since she’d met him, “I’m sorry to hear that. But I’m glad you’ve got someone to help you, like I have.”

Vex glanced up, surprise meaning she didn’t care if it was a good idea of not. But the young man sat across from her just looked exhausted, a little lost but glad to be sat there with someone who could understand at least a small part of him. An understanding that could go both ways.

Vex tilted her head, smiling, “Would you like to stay up here with me until Julius is done? You’re safe here, I promise.”

Percy looked hopeful but he bit his lip, “You must have better things to do tonight than that, my lady? This might be my first time in the city but even I’ve heard of the famous Jewels and your name is always one of the first anyone mentions.”

Vex shrugged coyly, leaning back against the pillows of the bed she never slept in, “Actually? I was looking forward to a quiet night.”

It might not have been the night she was expecting but Vex couldn’t say she hadn’t enjoyed herself.

They sent down to the bar for a second attempt at some glasses of wine and just sat and talked. Percy’s nervousness never left entirely, it seemed to just be an indelible part of his personality, but he grew comfortable enough to chat with very little coaxing from Vex. She had a suspicion that Percy rarely got this kind of attention on himself.

Which made a lot of sense as he explained that he was in the middle of six other siblings. He was the spare, the second oldest boy, enough into his majority now to start being noticed and getting some duties of his own that he didn’t feel ready for. Tagging along with Julius on one of his many business trips to sell the family residuum in the city was something of a test run. Percy had always been excited to go on these excursions with his older brother but, as it happens, doing it while feeling the intense scrutiny of your parents somewhat took the fun out of it.

Percy didn’t tell her any of this so explicitly, of course. But Vex was an expert at reading around and through the words people actually said, she always had been. There was so much to be heard just under the surface, you could follow any thread to their hopes, their dreams, their resentments. In the same way there was never just one noise in the forest, no matter which one happened to be the loudest.

Especially with someone as innocent and instantly trusting as Percival de Rolo. He was clearly a young man who’d been given no reason to believe the people around him had anything but the best intentions. These things happened when you grew up in a palace and you had the right surname.

But Vex had told him she was safe here and she’d meant it, so she let him open up to her. She only reclined back on the pillows and listened, sipping her wine and enjoying the part of her job she’d always found easiest.

It turned out Percy’s deepest desire wasn’t to be a diplomat or to hammer out deals or take over some arm of his city’s government or any of the options normally open to a second born son. Percy de Rolo wanted to be an inventor. He wanted to take things apart and see how they worked, he wanted to make them run better and easier and more efficiently. Not to be rich, not to make piles upon piles of gold, but simply because he enjoyed doing it.

Vex realised at some point, when she had no reason to be realising anything, that she’d stopped smiling because she was doing her job, because she was playing the role of Onyx. She was just smiling because she felt like it.

“But I’ve been talking about myself for hours,” Percy stopped suddenly, some of that learned formality slipping back in as he clearly realised he’d been talking about clockwork for longer than most people tended to talk about that sort of thing, “Apologies, my lady…”

“Onyx, please,” Vex smiled soothingly, waving away his embarrassment, “It’s my job, to listen to talk about themselves, after all.”

“And you don’t mind that?” Percy tilted his head.

“Not in the slightest,” Vex answered honestly, “I love every part of my job, I wouldn’t do it if I did.”

“No. I don’t imagine you would. I don’t think anyone could make you do anything you didn’t love,” Percy gave the kind of smile that made Vex realise that, where she was a listener, he was an observer. She heard things beneath the surface, Percy saw them.

“Not any more,” she said softly, again surprising herself with how easy it was to let this young man see past the silks and jewels.

Percy didn’t press, just like he hadn’t last time. If these small vulnerabilities were sudden metallic glints beneath the sand, he was simply nodding and letting them be, instead of digging for treasure.

Or bits of broken glass. It depended on where you stood.

All Percy did was nod and give a smile edged with familiarity, “I’m glad. I’m glad you got out.”

Vex wanted to ask. She almost did, in spite of what she’d told Jester, in spite of one of the foremost rules of the Jewellery Box that kept them safe, Vex wanted to ask. Their problems aren’t ours. But something about the way Percy smiled, the way he meant his words so sincerely, made her want to ask why he felt this connection with her.

“You will too,” she settled for reassurance, reaching across the space between them to rest a hand on his knee.

Percy blushed a little, in that endearing way he had, “Thanks…maybe when I’m older and Jules is in charge. Or perhaps I should run away and be a courtesan, hm?”

“Oh, I’m sure you’d be a wonderful Jewel,” Vex grinned, sipping the last of her wine even down to the last few drops, never one to waste any, “I think you’d look very fetching in silks.” She twitched the hem of her own translucent blue gown.

“Well, I couldn’t be a worse courtesan than I am a client,” he admitted, throwing a gangly arm across the backboard, pulling open his dress shirt where he’d undone the laces.

Vex tilted her head, letting a little more of Onyx into her eyes, “Well. Next time Julius comes to visit us, maybe you can have another go?”

The way Percy nearly dropped his glass, spluttering for an answer and turning the colour of the wine dregs inside it, warmed something in her heart that she’d feared had grown a little numb in all the time she’d been doing this job.

“I mean…” Percy caught his wine just in time, mouth still moving with more words than it could handle, “I…if that wouldn’t be…I would love to, obviously…”

Vex nearly didn’t hear the soft message sent through her onyx earring over the sounds of their giggles.

All done with Julius, Stubby. Put his brother back together and bring him down.

Vex rolled her eyes at the note of amusement in Vax’s voice. She could practically hear the eyebrow waggle. He’d only laugh harder when she told him how she’d actually spent her time upstairs with Percy.

Though she didn’t want to know what he’d say if she told him it was the best night she’d had in a while.

Back in the foyer, Percy’s armour of awkward formality returned, lingering with her while his brother went to hail a carriage. He even kissed the back of her hand.

“I did have a wonderful time tonight, my lady,” he said sincerely, “Thank you for your kindness.”

Vex stroked her braid absently, her smile soft and fond, “It was my pleasure, Percy, honestly.”

He straightened, eyes drifting to the portraits on the walls, catching on her’s. A terrible fear seized Vex’ahlia in that split second, a fear that came from the younger version of herself that still flinched at every flaw whether it was really there or not. That frightened young half elf in a city where every brick told her she was worthless, she worried Percy would look at her portrait and think it was tawdry, cheap or, worse, that he’d just see another item on a menu. Because wasn’t art subjective?

But Percy just smiled, behind those adorable owlish glasses of his.

He looked back to Vex and murmured softly, “She looks strong. And I’m very glad to have met her.”

“Then make sure you come back,” Vex spoke softly too, as if they were trying not to be overheard. Like this moment was just for them.

“I’m sure you’ll see me again, my lady,” he promised sincerely, giving her a last, low bow before finally disappearing out into the hazy light of early dawn.

Vex didn’t go back upstairs, not yet. She sat on the soft, velvet benches and spent some time in comforting silence, gazing at her portrait, the way she’d done so many times before.

Vex’ahlia knew what she saw when she looked at her portrait and now she knew it wasn’t just her imagination or wishful thinking.

Because Percy saw her too.

#courtesan au #percahlia #vaxilmore #please comment!#would super appreciate!

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beommiya · 2 months

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A soft groan escaped from Xuan's lips, as Kibum's ass pushed and rubbed right into and against what was by now a semi, he'd been fighting to keep from turning into a full blown erection, given that he had no clue if Kibum was sharing his desire and would have wanted to get it that step further. "Then I guess I should kiss you more... Here... And maybe there... And all over...~" The man's voice is like a soft velvet touching Kibum's inner ears, his lips then proceeding to plant more butterfly kisses onto Bum's neck, nape and down to his shoulders. It almost appeared as if Xuan was actually hungry for him, fighting hard his own intense craving of just having him then and there. But he knew better, he wanted to prolong the fun and good time between the two of them for as long as possible, give the younger an unforgettable first night with him, of pure intense passion.

Truth be told, Xuan's own little crush wasn't something that appeared out of nowhere just because of a glimpse he'd stolen in the bathroom or the sight of Bum's body looking so good underneath him. He'd caught interest in the young man when he first laid eyes on his photos brought in by his henchmen sent to investigate the whole rumor that a bunch of druggies had been started flocking on his property late at night. And it only proved to grow with their first interaction and everything that followed next. Xuan had been impressed, charmed and pulled in by this bold fella and now all he wanted was to know him like he knew his own body.

"With me you'll never have to hide your true self ever again, baby. I promise you. I want you to be true to yourself the same way you are true to me..." Xuan adds in between kisses and he places his hands on Kibum's hips, turning him around so that now Kibum would be facing him again. Their eye met yet again, and Bum can now see too the darkened color in Xuan's eyes and the passionate lust burning beneath those jade green seas. "Since you enjoyed the back massage, allow me to treat you to a front massage too." The man grins and grabs the oil bottle once more, making sure their lower parts would brush again, given that in moving him, Xuan made sure he'd now land right between Kibum's legs. "And please don't hold back from voicing out anything else you might desire. Tonight I want to make you feel good, fulfill all of your wishes, Bummie!~"

"Yes, you really should kiss me more" he encouraged Xuan to offer him the much desired kisses. And fortunately, there were plenty of them, tickling his skin, making him shiver under his soft touches and sigh in content. "Your kisses feel so nice~" His eyes were closed, biting his lower lip whilst enjoying this moment to the fullest. A part of him wished for Xuan to never stop kissing his body but another part of him ached to turn around and be able to face him, admire him, even hoping for a real kiss and taste his lips for the first time. At this point Kibum was aching for Xuan, dying to drown into his beautiful green eyes.

"The word 'baby' made him so weak and Xuan's voice made him melt underneath him; until the position changed, and he found himself on his back, with his legs spread out and with Xuan strategically positioned in between them. The unspoken desire in Kibum's eyes met the burning lust in Xuan's gaze and In that moment, Kibum's silent request was clear. But before Xuan could even figure it out, the spell broke as soon as he reached for the oil. The motion caused friction between their lower parts and Kibum's hips jolted almost involuntarily, almost eager to feel the delicious friction again. His cheeks were burning with shame cause he figured Xuan did it on purpose, right? It must have been on purpose, nothing was an accident, not when it comes to Xuan. "A front massage? How does that even work? Hmm, is that your excuse to touch me all over?" he asked in the most innocent voice, tracing his own fingers over his exposed chest, down to his torso and all the way to his lower abdomen. "You can touch me, I mean, give me a front oily massage" He wanted Xuan to touch him, kiss him, to close the gap between them and explore the unknown territory of shared intimacy. "Show me how it words" he pleaded, playing with Xuan's robe cord, the only thing was keeping that robe wrapped around his body.

@phoenix-of-jade

#dealer verse 2 #anon reply

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anemia-rp · 2 months

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"Heh, I know, right? It's really cool!" The comparison makes Xuan chuckle and he looks at his partner with an endeared warm look in his eyes. Teru's silliness never failed to make him smile. "I wouldn't want your heart to leave me... I'd feel sad if it did, because you wouldn't be the same beautiful and sweet guy I know without your big, golden heart." Xuan pouts and gives him another soft kiss on the lips. "I love you and I don't want to ever lose any part of you!"

Then, as their make out session starts and progresses nicely, the both of them getting really enraptured into the moment and their passionate desires, Xuan groans lowly into the kiss, as he feels Teru's ass grinding against his crotch, making his erection even harder than it already was. This was the kind of effect that only Teru could have on him and not only because the younger was an incubus, but because Xuan was crazy about him from every point of you. The incubus's struggle with undoing his pants makes the Chinese chuckle, as he pulls back from their kiss to breath and comment playfully. "I think it's because of your impatience that the pants are posing such a challenge, love. But I like it when you are so desperate for my dick. Makes me crave you even stronger!~" Xuan whispers sensually into Teru's ear, before giving it a kiss and descending onto his neck to kiss and bite it. Another groan follows, when his dick is finally free and Teru's fingers wrap around him, making Xuan want to buck his hips into his touch. "Let me help you with your pants too." He whispers against the younger's hot skin and retrieves his hand from inside Teru's pants to use both hands on unbuckling his belt and undoing the buttons and zipper, rushing then to pull them off of the young man. That finally done, he rests his hands on Teru's hips and waits for him to finally start riding his rock hard cock the way both of them love.

"My heart will stay where it is, don't worry! In my chest. Though…you hold it in your hands as well, being so damn gentle with it." The last words almost turn into a whisper, him biting his lip and humming in the pure joy Xuan sparks him on a daily basis. But the sweet kisses are just as much his new addiction. Not to mention everything else that includes physical contact. Romantic words are definitely his love language, but he needs touches just as much. Kisses. And sex, it is as simple as that.

Teru /loves/ the effect he has onto Xuan. To be able to arouse him this much. No surprise he becomes even greedier and more impatient. How should he be able to wait for one more second to become one with the man he loves? "Fucking hell, I'd rip all my clothes into pieces for you!", he warns, being desperate in any sense, his hellbent eyes glinting fiercely, becoming red from lust. Though he calms a little since Xuan stays more composed. Shuddering though and groaning, lifting his head to make space for the other's lips and teeth on his neck. Cursing delightfully when he finally holds the object of his desire in his hand. If possible he would have sucked it and took it into his butt all at the same time, this is how much he craves it. However he has to be patient for some more seconds - what pays off. His own length springs free, but he doesn't give it any attention. Instead he kneels over Xuan's lap, guiding the delicious tip to his waiting entrance after having wetted his fingers to rub them over his hole in a quick way to prepare himself. With some deep moans and some more high-pitched whimpers by chance he takes the other in, looking into his eyes meanwhile. "That's the fucking best thing in the world", he pants, leaning his forehead against Xuan's. "I need you so damn much, Master. I love your fucking cock to the moon and back!"

@phoenix-of-jade

#phoenix-of-jade

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ljsstories · 2 years

Text

Prologue

In the beginning there was man, and that is how it all began. The truth is, there was indeed a man, his name was even Adam, but he did not begin his life with Eve, far from it. He wasn't even the first human created, Lilith was made first from the soil of the Earth! God had a plan, he didn't really think it through, when Lilith was plopped into the Garden he gave her Adam, also from the soil, to populate the world. Sadly Adam didn't seem to bond with Lilith and their children were not as God had expected, so he banished her and their children and made another human named, you guessed it, Eve. He used one of Adam's ribs to create this symbol of womanhood, and Adam fell for her instantly. He wasn't the only one though! While God was busy playing with his new toys, his son Lucifer grew tired of his father's many schemes. Most of the time, Lucifer is portrayed as blond with piercing blue eyes and always extremely beautiful. That depiction is mostly true, except he isn't blond, his hair is very dark, almost as black as the night sky, and it only makes his blue eyes seem even more mesmerising. His beauty often hides his darker side, he wasn't evil to begin with, even now he's not truly evil, he's just totally jaded, bitter and cynical. Back when God was making his little planet called Earth, Lucifer's dislike of humanity started because of delusions of grandeur and his arrogance. Being instructed to bow down to these lesser beings was a step too far for him and he rebelled against his Father when he was told to show them respect and to treat them as equals...that was until Lucifer laid eyes on Eve, a human, you see the true reason that Lucifer was cast out of heaven and banished to hell was down to a simple act of lust...but if you ask him, he calls it love.

Like many of the other archangels, Lucifer possessed skills and certain powers, all of his siblings had different "party tricks" and Lucifer's favourite was shape shifting, in particular transforming into a serpent. Now the Garden was almost impossible to get into if you were an angel, God's creatures however, well they got a free pass. And so Lucifer was granted entry in his serpent form, he just wanted to see Eve in the flesh, just a little peek. She was so cute in her little fig leaf outfit, her long brown hair and hourglass figure. Lucifer's only obstacle now was Adam, the big dumb smelly human that she was living in the Garden with. Lucifer visited a few times before he made actual contact with the object of his affection. God had told Adam and Eve not to touch the fruit that grew on the largest tree in the Garden, they happily obeyed and the tree remained in perfect condition, never picked...until one fateful day. Lucifer watched Eve fawn over stupid Adam, even bear his children, it drove him mad. She only had eyes for him, he was a handsome specimen, even Lucifer could appreciate how aesthetically pleasing he was. During his constant visits to the Garden, Lucifer's older brother, Michael, grew suspicious of him and where he was disappearing to. Archangels rarely left heaven and when they did it was under God's instruction, but young Luci was always rebellious and wasn't one for following the rules. He had already devised his plan to attract Eve and make her his forever, he just needed to deal with the dumb blond who's whole life was controlled by the organ in his fig leaf and not the one in his head. Lilith, now roaming the Earth and transformed into something demonic and vengeful outside the Garden, was easy to manipulate, Lucifer promised her Adam if she would just help him get Eve out of the Garden to be with him, and in return Lilith could take her rightful place beside her husband. There was only one problem with this plan, Lilith didn't want Adam back, she wanted him dead. Luci wasn't bothered how she distracted him, as long as he got Eve it was of no interest to him. The only problem with his plan was that Adam would be banished but there was nothing stopping God from creating another human for Eve, so Lucifer had to make sure she would be banished too. Bring on the fateful day!

Lucifer slithered into the garden and sat at Eve's feet, when her head was turned he transformed into his angelic form and startled her. She looked him up and down, "Who are you? You're not Adam!"

"No!" He replied, Lucifer felt tongue-tied and shy, something he'd never experienced before, "I'm Lucifer, and I have a gift for you!" He produced the Forbidden Fruit from behind his back as Eve gasped.

"Oh no, where did you...we're not supposed to touch that! It is forbidden!"

"It's okay, my dad owns this place, he won't mind!"

"So...you're an angel?" Eve's wide eyes scanned his face. Lucifer smiled bashfully, unable to meet her gaze.

"Better!" He mumbled, "I'm an archangel!" With a smirk he thrust the fruit under her nose, "Go on, have a bite!" He winked at her, seeing her eyes sparkle at the prospect. She really wanted to, he could tell. It took a few moments, but then Eve took the fruit from Lucifer and pressed it to her lips, staring him in the eyes for an age, she finally bit into it as the juices trickled down either side of her mouth, "Good huh?" Lucifer nodded with a huge smile, she was his now, there was no way his Father would ever forgive this!

"Mmm!" Eve murmured, swallowing down the bite of fruit, wide eyed, she turned heel with a squeak and announced, "I have to tell Adam, he'll love this!" Lucifer groaned then he was hit with a realisation, if she went to Adam...

"Noooo, wait!" He called to her lazily, "Don't do thaaaat!" Stifling a laugh, he watched as she skipped into the little forest where they slept, passing children running around, the two older ones, Cain and Abel, bickered and threw fists at one another, a regular occurrence, as their mother called out to their father...

"Adam!" Eve exclaimed as she reached the little alcove, "Adam you have to taste this it's..." Her words got caught in her throat as she was met with a horrific sight, Adam being straddled by some sort of hideous female creature, "A-a-a d-demon!" She exclaimed and backed into something solid, Lucifer.

As Lilith continued to writhe and moan atop of Adam, he desperately tried to free himself from underneath her. "Eve!" He panted, as his attempts to push Lilith aside were to no avail.

"No-no-no, it's a demon!" Eve cried, as Lucifer took hold of her arms and tried to calm her. Lilith produced a dagger and raised it above Adam's heart, but before she could deal the fateful blow, he managed to escape from under her and ran to Eve.

However it was too late! Adam vanished, Eve screamed, then Lilith vanished too. Only she and Lucifer remained, until he also disappeared while exclaiming "Oh sh-..." Adam's punishment for committing adultery was to roam the earth outside the garden with Lilith and their children. Eve was severely reprimanded and sent back to the Garden to raise her children, and Lucifer...

Well we all know the story, or do we? Lucifer was brutally punished by God, his Father, and under his orders, had his wings clipped by Michael. He was then cast out of Heaven, falling to earth, but he didn't stop there. God gave him a job, one that no archangel or demon wanted, the job of overseeing Hell! As Lucifer landed on the burning ground of the Underworld, dragging his body up he shapeshifted one last time. The beautiful blue eyed archangel known as Lucifer was now a red skinned, cloven hooved, horned monster consumed with bitterness and rage. His heart broken and his body bruised, he could no longer be Lucifer the archangel, he was now reborn...into Satan!

Next⏭️

#TheDevilsDeal #writeblr #writerblr #writing #writing community #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #wattpad #story #story telling

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thediaryofaudreysaxton · 2 years

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September 17th, 2022

Vulnerability as required in a story; the choice to be exposed and susceptible creating giant obstacle. Writer’s duty to create characters jaded and troubled in some way. Struggling because they’re twisted.

What’s a nightmare?

A vivid, unpleasant dream.

And yet somehow we must show them it’s ok to trust. Find a way to give them strength to let go of their fears and open themselves up to another.

Any other topic is boring.

Desire, rejection, disappointment, and the fleeting yet exhilarating extreme joy in romantic lust/love is my world.

Maybe this why I’m more stupid than a boy.

I’ve spent the mass majority of my internal dialogue in the last twenty years ricocheting between; am I fat? and how do I get my current conquest to kiss me?

Not leaving much time to fall in love with; algebraic equations, geographical concepts, botany.

Tectonic plates are massive slabs of earth lithosphere, the rigid outer part of earth. Similar to cities or a walnut drupe, everything is in layers. People, trees, buildings, sex, animals, concrete, plastic and water. Like the symbols in an algebra equation, my relationships with others and myself represent quantities without a fixed value, called variables.

I don’t care much about the world besides what people think of me and what they think of each other. Also, I like to be outside.

Half the people lie with their lips, the other half lie with their tears. I lie with both.

I fake cried on the phone to my boyfriend the other day. I felt myself doing it and tried to stop. But it was too late because of how quickly it worked.

Reinforcing a disappointing, hoping to be disproved, perception; the only way to make my boyfriend listen to me is to make him think he’s hurting me.

This why women are labeled manipulative and hysterical. We are conniving and unknown, lonely and regrettably evil. Forced to be this way. Learning through failure and success that power is gained by fooling men into believing they’ve had control over us the entire time. When my boyfriend finds my clit after rubbing my left labia for 30 seconds, I don’t say, “Jesus, there it is! Took you long enough!” Instead, I begin to moan and writhe; letting him believe he is bringing me to a place I’ve never been before just because I want him to stay.

~~~~~~~

Example of being vulnerable; I left an exchange with a stranger feeling confused.

Example of being a genius narcissist; I know real and perfect confidence is a consolation prize given to mediocre people.

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scottybrock · 3 years

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The Show - Beck/Jade/Reader

A/N: THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING A FIC THAT HAS A POLY COUPLE IN IT, PLS DON’T ROAST ME

“Move,” Jade ordered, slamming her lunch tray on the table. Tori glared at her, but Jade was unfazed. “You kissed Beck during your first week here,” Jade reminded the thin brunette. Beck scrunched his nose at the reminder, subconsciously lifting a hand to wipe at his lips. “That was because you poured coffee on my head!” Tori whined.

You glanced at Jade, who smirked. “Be glad it was iced coffee,” Jade responded, roughly shoving her way between you and Tori. “If you ever try to put your dry lips near my girlfriend, you’ll have to worry about more than a cup of coffee.” Tori yelped as Jade slammed her hip against hers, but you welcomed the contact, leaning closer to your girlfriend. A small smile pulled at the corners of her lips. “Hey,” You grinned. Jade’s bright blue eyes lit up, and her expression softened. “Yeah, hey,” She grumbled. Beck shifted closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Hey babe,” He greeted. Jade rolled her eyes at him, but a soft smile spread across her face. “Whatever.” She grumbled.

Tori tilted her head, her brows furrowing. “How is it that Jade has not one, but two significant others, and I’m single?!” She whined. You exchanged a look with Beck, then rolled your eyes. Jade glared at Tori. “What’re you trying to say, Vega? That I’m hideous, so therefore I deserve to die alone?” She snapped. You nuzzled your face into the crook of her neck, pressing a light kiss to her neck.

Her glare softened as she turned to you. “Excuse me, I’m trying to scare the wazz out of Vega,” She murmured, trying to stop the giggles that were building up in her chest. You pressed another soft kiss to her neck, and she sighed, her tense posture relaxing, leaning against you. Beck leaned over and brushed his lips over Jade’s. “Yeah, but there are more… pleasant things that we can be doing with that time,” He smirked. You lifted your head from its comfy place to turn around and kiss him, your tongue pressing against the seam of his lips.

His response was immediate; he gripped your hips with bruising force, pulling you onto his lap. Jade leaned over to scatter rough kisses along your neck, biting lightly at your soft skin. “Guys,” Tori cleared her throat. You ignored the waifish brunette, running your hands along Beck’s back, pulling him impossibly closer. Jade’s kisses and Beck’s tongue were doing things to you that weren’t entirely appropriate in a school setting.

With great reluctance, you slid off of Beck’s lap. His hands gripped your hips as if to hold you there, but seeing the determined expression on your face, he relented and gave your hips a final squeeze. Jade’s kisses tapered off, and you finally looked at the table. While you’d been occupied with your boyfriend and girlfriend, Andre, Robbie (plus Rex, but you couldn’t stand the puppet), and Cat had all found their way to the table. “Whoa,” Rex said. If he could, he’d be grinning like the little leper he was. “That was hot, babe.”

Jade’s brows furrowed, a thunderstorm of emotions flickering over her flawless face. “Call my girlfriend babe again and you’ll lose an arm,” She snarled. Robbie shielded Rex protectively as Andre snickered. Tori looked on with an amused expression, a subtle smile curving her lips. Cat let out a high pitched giggle. “One time, my brother…” She started, then adopted an offended expression when your friends all groaned, nearly at the same time. “What’s that supposed to mean?!” She exclaimed. Jade ignored her, turning to Beck. “Get me coffee,” She demanded. You perked up, giving your boyfriend a hopeful look. Beck caved almost instantly. “What’s the magic word?” He asked playfully.

Jade’s glare sharpened. “Now!” She snapped at the same time that you shouted “Please!” and offered your boyfriend a charming smile. Beck rolled his eyes at Jade, but bent down to press a firm kiss to her lips. Her expression softened, and she looked up at him with those beautiful blue eyes and uttered in a soft, sweet tone that she reserved only for you and Beck. “Please?” She requested.

Beck’s handsome face lit up, a toothy grin settling on his lips. “Be back in a minute.” He acquiesced. As he walked away, Jade shouted after him, “Two sugars!” He turned back and gave her a thumbs up. Jade turned to her salad and began violently stabbing it as hard as the plastic fork would allow. You didn’t bother reminding Beck of your coffee order; after all, he’d been your boyfriend for almost three years. He knew what to do.

You were broken out of your reverie by Tori asking Jade if she could have a cucumber from her salad. Jade glared at her frenemy. “No,” She snapped. Tori pouted, sticking her lower lip out. “C’mon, I just want an itty-bitty piece of cucumber,” Tori whined. Jade rolled her eyes, then picked up her entire salad, aiming it at Tori. Tori shrieked, ducking for cover. Andre immediately grabbed his backpack, ready to make a run for it. Cat was oblivious, eating her pizza without a care in the world. Robbie let out a whimper. You just watched, waiting to see what your beautiful girlfriend was going to do.

Much to your amusement, she didn’t throw the salad at Tori. She chucked her half-eaten salad directly at Rex, and by extension, Robbie. The salad hit the two of them, landing with soggy splat. Robbie’s jaw hung open, his eyes wide. Jade glared at him. “That’s for calling my girlfriend babe,” She snarled. Robbie glared back at her, then immediately cowered away from her when he realized what he’d done. Without another word, he grabbed his backpack and his puppet and hightailed it away from the table.

Andre and Tori laughed. You snickered, which brought a small smile to Jade’s flawless face. Jade raised an eyebrow at them. “I think you should leave,” She said, her tone matter of fact. Andre was well aware that when Jade used that tone, she wasn’t asking- she was telling. “Alright,” He acquiesced. “See you guys in Sikowitz’s class,” He stood, but Tori stopped him, furrowing her brows once more. “Why do we have to leave?” The songstress complained. Jade’s smirk sharpened. “Because,” She drawled. “While I no longer have a salad to throw at you, I have these,” With that statement, she whipped a pair of scissors out of one of her boots.

Tori had a look of absolute horror on her face as she fled the table, with Andre following close behind her shouting, “Why’d you hafta ask why?!” Cat followed behind them, gleefully proclaiming, “Weee! I love running!” You giggled, pressing a soft kiss to Jade’s lips. “Wanna tell me the real reason you scared everyone away?” You asked, your voice teasing. Jade’s perfect lips curled into a soft smirk. “Maybe I just want to spend time alone with my boyfriend and girlfriend,” She replied, shifting so that you could pull her closer, your legs brushing against hers, then finally entwining. You pressed a hand to your chest, your voice playfully mocking. “Jade West, whatever do you plan on doing with me?”

Jade’s gorgeous face lit up, her smile roguish. “Oh, I plan on doing a lot with you,” She murmured. Your cheeks flushed, and you nudged her. “Oh yeah? Like what?” You teased, your lips brushing gently over the shell of her ear. She shivered. “Maybe when Beck gets back… We can go to the janitor's closet and ditch fifth period,” You suggested. Jade’s cheeks flushed, the redness contrasting quite lovely with the paleness of her skin. Her smile was uncharacteristically shy. “I’d like that,” She replied softly.

Beck returned, balancing three coffee cups. “Where’d everyone go?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow at the blush on Jade’s cheeks. You reached for your coffee, taking a quick sip. “That’s not of importance right now,” You replied, a devilish smirk appearing on your face. Beck’s other eyebrow rose; he knew when you had that look on your face, trouble wasn’t far behind. “Oh yeah?” He asked, handing Jade, who looked rather flustered, her coffee. “Then what is of importance right now?”

Your smirk grew and you glanced over at Jade, who was squirming in her seat. “The important thing right now is that our girl has some needs that need to be taken care of.” You replied. A matching smirk flashed over Beck’s face. He turned to Jade. “Is that so?” He looked unbelievably smug. How could he not be, when he knew that he was about to fuck two of the most gorgeous girls? “Well, babe. How about we move this somewhere else? Wouldn’t wanna give anyone a show, would we?”

You shrugged, your eyes glinting playfully. “What if I would?” You teased. Beck’s eyes darkened, and Jade whimpered in the background. Beck set his cup of coffee down and pulled you to him, his hands gripping your hips tightly once more. “Fuck the janitor’s closet,” Beck’s voice was low and gravelly. “We’re ditching for the rest of the day. I’ll give you and Jade a show you won’t soon forget.”

Jade stood on shaky legs, and you and Beck pulled her in close, so that you formed a small circle. Jade’s fingers ran up and down your leg, causing you to shiver. “I don’t doubt that,” Jade smirked. “Never had a reason to complain before.” You nodded in agreement. Beck growled lowly, moving one of his hands to grip one of Jade’s hips as well. “I’ve got no complaints on my end either,” Beck remarked, his dark brown eyes practically pitch black with lust. “Now get your sweet asses to the truck so we can get to the RV, and I can fuck you both into the mattress until the sun comes up.”

You grinned slyly at him, then glanced at Jade. “Can I fuck Jade into the mattress, too? You can watch.” Jade shifted slightly, letting out a soft whine. She loved that idea, and it was obvious Beck did too, as he pulled you into a bruising kiss. You nipped at his lower lip, eliciting a low moan from him. “Get to the truck now,” Beck growled. “I’m gonna call us in sick. I want both of you in the truck and ready to go by the time I get back.”

“I’m already ready to go,” Jade grinned. Beck let out a soft groan. “Let me go call us in sick, stop tempting me.” Jade’s grin sharpened, and she collected the abandoned coffee cups. “We’re most certainly going to need energy to go until the sun rises,” Jade shrugged innocently. Beck grinned, then hurried back to the school. The lunch period was long over, but the fun was just about to begin.

“Don’t take too long, or we’ll start without you!” You called after him. Jade laced her fingers with yours, and the two of you began walking to the truck. Her smirk would have made the devil proud. “I like the way you think.”

You grinned at her. “And I like the way you taste.” Jade’s cheeks flushed once more. “Ditto. I like the way you taste. Now stop talking, or we’re really going to have to start without Beck.” She grunted, opening the door for you. You pressed a soft kiss to her lips in thanks, then slid into the car. Jade joined you seconds later, resting her head on your shoulder. You wrapped an arm around her to pull her closer. She inhaled deeply, then snuggled closer.

The driver’s side door opened, and Beck slid in. “We’re all set,” He told you and Jade. His dark eyes glinted with the promise of pleasure and love. “Are you ready?” Jade made a soft noise of affirmation. You grinned back at him, your eyes twinkling. “Always.” You replied.

Beck’s smile widened. “Then let’s get this show on the road.”

#beck oliver #jade west #jade west x reader #jade west fanfic #jade x reader #jade west fanfiction #beck oliver x reader #beck oliver x jade west x reader #victorious #cat valentine #andre harris #robbie shapiro

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besotted-eros · 3 years

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BabyDaddy!Eren on Father's Day

NSFW under cut(MDNI)//breeding, dirty talk, dom!eren, mommy/daddy usage, alcohol, breastfeeding, unprotected sex, pregnancy.

Eren, who has made your life so much harder than it needs to be. A hook up gone wrong, a letter to the condom company, and an adorable little bundle of joy that you're head over heels in love with... Even with the fact he has the same eyes as his annoying father.

Eren, who knows that he gave you the night of your life. Whose smirk is lethal every time you see him, who undresses you with his eyes the moment his gaze lands on you. His words are warm as you meet with him for drop offs or picks up. He focuses on the baby for the most part, cooing lovingly as he shoulders the bag. But as you make your way back to your car, you can feel how he stares, it touches your curves like a physical thing. It makes you think of how his hands felt.

Eren, who is an absolutely amazing father. Adores his son, goes above and beyond to make his disorganized bachelor pad of an apartment into something appropriate for a child. Who had came over to help you paint your nursery as well, spent the whole time poking at you. Stepping too close, purring compliments in ways that make your thighs clench. Reached over to tug at the strong of your thong when your sweats ride too, saying he liked this pair better than what he's seen you in. You rebuke him, rolling your eyes. He never stops flirting.

Eren's eyes opening wide, filling with tears that he'll forever deny when his son toddles up to his door on Father's Day. The baby's wearing a tiny little varsity jacket, just like the one Eren had in university. He's holding a mug, with a tiny blue handprint stamped on the front. Eren sweeps him up, kissing his face as he praises his little man. You grin from your spot by the car, leaning against it as you watch him carefully extract the mug and vow to never use another cup. His jade gaze moves to yours. He's grateful, deeply grateful. "Happy Father's Day." You call out. It's only his second, and you wonder if he'll cry every time.

Eren, stepping from his door. This is the first time you've seen insecurity on his expression, sheepishness making him seem younger. "Do you want to come in?" You say something about it being his day, but he shrugs, smoothing his son's hair back. "You're the one who made me a father."

Eren, making you breakfast despite your complaints as your baby demolishes cantelope as though it owes him money. The vulnerability in his face is covered again by his cocky grin, asking you if you remember the last time he made you breakfast.

Eren driving like an actual human being. Calm, cool. First to the park, where he takes picture after picture of sun covered smiles, reapplies sunscreen on the dot. You notice the way other moms check him out, admiring his muscular arms, how his chestnut hair falls across his face when he leans down to pick up his son, or pushes him on the swing.

Eren, who only has eyes for you.

Eren tucking your son into bed, exhausted after a long day of playing and a big dinner. He pours you a glass of wine as you sit on his sofa, nursing his own. You haven't sat like this in a long time. Haven't spoken like this to him in even longer. He's wearing a simple black t shirt, the neck of it wide to show off his pretty collar bones, the sleeves hugging his biceps. It's no wonder you let him pick you up at that bar.

The conversation turning to kids, Eren asking you if you would consider another. The question feels loaded, and his green gaze never leaves your face. You're sitting closer together than you remember.

Eren smells like sandalwood. He's on top of you now, pinning your body to the sofa. All you had said was that you would want another. You liked being pregnant weirdly, and you love being a mommy. His eyes had slowly widened, and by the time you said mommy your fate was sealed.

Eren's demanding hands peeling off your jeans while his mouth claims yours. "Can't fucking do this anymore, teased me for too long. And now this? You like being a mommy?" His tone is almost incredulous, but it's thick with lust. He palms you through your satin panties, fingers pinching and rubbing your lips. He's stroking a fire in you. And you've been dry kindling, waiting to burn for so long.

Eren yanking your shirt neck down hard enough to rip it. The bra is pulled down as well, your hardened nippled released to the air. Your areola is large, and his eyes trace it almost lovingly. And now covered by his mouth. "They're so big now, fucking watched them grow. Wanted to do this the moment I knew." He grows against your skin as he suckles. He's drinking from you, drawing the sweet milk from your breast. You're pulling and tugging at his hair, gasping for relief as he invades your every sense.

Eren's cock. It's almost bigger than you remembered. It fits his figure so well, long and veiny, but girthy enough to make your toes twitch in anticipation. It bursts from his black jeans as he yanks them down, heavy balls swinging. You're on your knees before you even realise, tongue lapping at the firm shaft, at the soft skin of his sack. He encourages you, fist twisting your hair. Tells you to kiss his balls nice and sweet because he's gonna breed you with them.

Eren on the ground behind you, pushing your face into the soft cushions of the couch. Coffee table has been haphazardly pushed away to give him more space as he ceaselessly pounds you. His broad, muscular chest is pressed to your back, his mouth hot on your shoulder and neck. Biting, nipping, degrading and lifting all in one. His hands grip your hips like they were made to be his hand holds. He keeps pulling you back, making your ass bounce. Telling you you have the perfect child bearing hips, that's why he first eyed you. And then when you got pregnant he fisted his cock every night, the sight of you filling his naughty dreams. But this time he's gonna do it right. This time he's gonna fuck you through it.

Eren, asking you how badly you want to be a mommy again. Pulling you onto the ground fully, throwing you onto your back so he can move your legs to your chest, fold your body into a mating press. His face is twisted in pleasure, eyes heavy lidded, body jerking with each time you slide along his cock. Your pussy walls are plush, wet, clinging to him. You're begging for it. Your body knows. So you call him daddy, pleading for him. Begging for daddy to breed your needy pussy once more.

Eren's cum, filling you up in a way that's utterly sinful. Hot and sticky, coating your inside and dripping out onto the hardwood. He lays against you for a moment, chest heaving with exertion.

"Maybe next year I'll get two mugs."

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silverrstarrr · 3 years

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extra hand

Update note: Happy spring break loves! Here's a smut I never finished but I still wanted to post it. I'll be taking break from writing eren. I recently started simping for geto Suguru from jjk so😩

Okay, so this is my first smut. I'm just experimenting and playing around with things. I WOULD LOVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, but don't bash me bc I'm a little sensitive and then go off 🥲. Song? Um, don't get mad at me but killshot by Magdalena b. slowed n reverb and no guidance remix, slowed n reverb.😕🦴

Pairings: erenxf!reader, smut!

Warnings: fingering, swearing, idk??

"Fuck!"

You tossed your phone onto the nearby bed in the spawn of annoyance, watching the mobile device bounce up a few times, then settling down into the soft comforter. Why were you irritated? It was because he hasn't texted. Eren Yeager haven't texted you back.

Your relationship with eren was a toxic one. You weren't the type to romanticize or fetishize "toxicness" but here you are, putting yourself in one.

Eren was your boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend? The both of you used to talk, met at a dumb frat boy party. This should have raised red flags immediately but you guessed the alcohol was to blame for it.

You guys had a small heated makeout session in one of the corners, away from the crowd. Sadly your friend was vomiting all over the place and had to take your leave.

Slowly you started seeing each other on campus and exchanged numbers. He'd always flirt with you, crack small jokes and was a good listener.

Sometimes he made small gestures and teasing comments that made the tension between you two, very heavy.

You started talking to him more than usual. you were sure eren only gave you his number to call you anytime he was in the mood, which happened often. It was obvious he's been with other women before cause, phew, he knew how to put it down.

Despite being fuck buddies, he was always down to chat and talk about things. You adored everything about him. How unkempt his hair was, the way he'll always ask how you were feeling and was willing to help you–his beautiful jade eyes.

Anytime you were upset with him, he always knew how to catch your attention again. From all this, you caught feelings. Real bad. But eren didn't feel the same, well so you thought.

Eren was walking around campus with another girl, arm slung around her shoulder, him whispering sweet nothings in her ears as you watched her face get red and started laughing. He even took you on small dates to restaurants and hanged out at his dorm.

You stood there dumbfounded. He played you. You guys were never a thing, you didn't understand why you thought you'll be different, he's a fuck boy after all.

He hit you up later that night, wanting to have a sesh in his car. Your emotions were spilled all over the place. you messaged him back questioning about the girl he was with. You sounded so desperate and you hated it.

From the way you were texting he knew you've caught feelings and automatically cut you off.

You were shocked, you hoped for him to just clear things up and tell you those overly used line: "she doesn't mean anything". You know, what most guys tell their girlfriends after being caught cheating.

But that was 4 months ago. He recently got in touch with you two week ago. How dare he just try to slide back into your life as if nothing happened? you were beyond pissed but you still messaged him back anyways. What the fuck? You're just going to get hurt all over again. You guys were chatting for a good week and decided to meet at his dorm.

"Hey y/n, long time no see, huh." He said

you clicked your tongue. "So you just ghost girls out of nowhere and hit them back up whenever you feel like it?" you were absolutely irritated, you wanted to punch his stupid face.

Eren rolled his eyes and let out a tiresome sigh. "It's whatever, get over it. I messaged you back, correct? You should be happy."

He was high. You could already tell by the way he smelled and the reason why he texted you out of the blue.

"Fuck you, Eren." You stormed out of there with your blood rushing. You were so angry but wanted to cry so much. "Whatever"? Was he serious?

You immediately called an uber and went home.

You rented out an apartment with one of your friends from high school. They were out most of the time so you never really saw them.

Automatically, eren was blowing up your phone with text messages. You didn't answer them, and kept him on delivered.

Which didn't last long because early on, on Tuesday, you messaged him back.

He was obviously upset you left him up and dry for a week but got over it.

Now, you're here. Waiting for his reply once again, your last text message was three days ago. It was currently Saturday night, 6:48 pm.

He hasn't responded since Wednesday. Was he going to ghost you again? Maybe he found another girl to mess with? bzzt bzzt You instantly whipped your head back, and stared at your phone's now lightened screen. You had a notification,

From eren.

Unlocking your phone, you checked what he sent.

"Can you come over?"

"pls?"

You read, then reread, then read again. He wanted you to come over? he's doing it again. He's fucking doing it again. He responds three nights later, what the fuck.

You didn't respond at first. Just staring at the open conversations.

You guessed eren saw that you read his text and three dots appeared on the lower left, he was typing.

"y/n, I know I fucked up but please can you respond at least?"

Your thumbs swiped against the keyboard.

"say what? what do I owe you a response for?" You sat down on your bed as the blue bubble sent.

"my phone got messed up, I dropped in it in the rain on my way back from practice. It cracked really bad"

You studied the screen not knowing what to say. You couldn't tell if he was lying or if it was true. But it did rain on Tuesday, so his story wasn't completely untruthful.

"I'll be over in 10"

That's it, you gave in to him. You're just setting yourself up again for another heartbreak.

You decided to prepare yourself. This was going to be a long night

—

You had your jacket on as you stepped out the door. It was still winter, luckily the piled up snow died down.

You quickly jogged to your uber and entered inside. the driver took off shortly after you came in.

The drive was pretty short, he was only ten minutes away. you wished it was longer, so you could lecture yourself for the decision you made.

You hoped out the car and went inside the boys dormitory. His dorm was on the left wing, so you proceed towards that direction.

Eren shared a dorm with Armin, you hoped he was there just in case a heated argument happened because you had a feelings one would come.

Arriving at the hall where all the rooms were at, you walked down the hall checking the numbers, so you'll know which one was his.

You despise that you remembered it as you stood in front of his door.

You pulled out your phone to shoot him a quick "here" to notify your arrival.

Not too long after, a tall brunette opened the door, he immediately grabbed your wrist and pulled you inside.

The room was dim and dark, other than the dark purple LD lights.

You felt your back make contact with the door behind you, he snaked his free hand around your waist. He pressed his lips against yours, you could feel his impatience as he tilted his head slightly to the side to deepen the kiss.

He pulled away ever so slight and licked the bottom of your lip asking for entrance, so intoxicated by his lust you simply obeyed and parted your mouth slightly. His warm tongue slipping in exploring every inch of your mouth.

You ran your other hand over his black t-shirt trailing up to his neck soon afterwards interlocking your fingers in his brown locks. Although the kiss felt rushed it still made you melt, and gave a small throb down in your area. You slightly tugged on his hair earning you a groan into the heated kiss.

The butterfly’s in your stomach were going on a rampage and your heart was beating out of your chest. He slightly pulled away from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting your mouths together.

"...eren," you moaned slightly.

He was looking down at you, you were so stunning beneath him—face already flustered from one kiss. he wanted to here his name once more.

traveling down to your neck, he started showering it with wet kisses, and continued traveling down. He reached your collarbone and gave it a small bite, as the skin turned red, your grip in hair grew tighter. You were a mess, already ready feeling slick in between your legs as you rubbed them together, desperate for any sort of friction.

eren slid his hand upwards from your waist to your shirt, his soft hands grazed your bare skin—rubbing slowly, sending shivers down your spine.

you released another breathy moan as he continued at your neck. Hearing you moan was a blessing to him, he couldn't stop thinking about you ever since your last encounter.

He wanted to defile you, run his hands all over your body, touching placing only he knew he had access to—having your fingers intertwined in his long locks as he heard dumb founded mewls, begging him to stop teasing and give you what you wanted.

He pulled himself away from your neck, leaving you stunned at his sudden stop.

" why'd you st-" you were cut off by the jerk at your arm once again. He was taking you to his room as you trailed behind him, not saying a word.

Reaching his room, he pulled you inside, his lips crashed against yours once more, he kicked the door with his foot and closed it, locking the knob.

Your mind was fuzzy, you felt so heated and felt your pussy clench against nothing. You wanted him so bad, his impatience was rubbing off of you. But you couldn't bring yourself to tear away from his mouth, his lips felt so soft against your own. It made you feel wanted by him again, as if he never ghosted you and needed you this whole time.

Your back touched the soft mattress of his bed as he climbed on top of you, you were going haywire. you gave in to him with no obligation whatsoever and was dominanted in response. you can't say you didn't expect this from the moment he decided to text you.

His hands slithered up your shirt, pushing it up, grabing a hold of your breast through the bra. you smiled at his eagerness to touch you, how long has he been like this? using your elbows to support you, you raised your upper back from the bed as his other hand came around and unhooked your bra.

The butterflies in your stomach wouldn't stop, the warmth from his body felt attonishing against your own. sloppy kisses smothered across your lips, each break releasing a moan from one another, hearing throughout the room.

You laid back down as his hand large hands began fondling with your breast, your nipples were already hard from all the foreplay.

Eren hips started to grind against your pelvis,

"Fuck..." he moaned out, his face was already red, blushing like a dumb teenage virgin.

You break the kiss and sat up to remove your shirt, eren gave you space to do so–moving back a little. You tossed it on the floor, on the otherside of the bed, along with your bra, which was sitting next to you since eren took it off. You knocked you shoes off as well.

You immediately leaned towards eren wrapping your arms around his neck, lips already on his own, making him fall towards your direction—giving you a chance to wrap your legs around his waist. Your back made contact with the mattress once again and you moved your hips, grinding your heated core against his crotch.

"Dammit y/n...fuck, I can't stand this...when you do this to me."

Eren followed the same action as you. Releasing small moans and you both continued to dry hump one another.

You tugged at his shirt, wanting him to take it off. You didn't like it when you were the only bare and he knew this, a small chuckled erupted from his throat as he got on his knees–hands grasping the hem of the shirt, tugging it over his head.

You laid there in awe, he still kept his shape after all these months. You guessed those practices were really paying off. Your hand trailed up his torso, feeling his sculpture chest beneath your palm. His skin was so soft, you drifted your hand back down, passing over his abs.

"You like what you see?" he said smirking down at you.

"Shut up." you spat out.

Eren moved back down to your chest and took a hold of your breast, bringing his mouth to your nipple–while his other hand supported his weight. He gave it a long lick eyes flickering up at you, checking your reaction. His mouth was warm, his heavy breath touching your skin while he decided to play with your nipple.

You released small grunts as his red tongue swirled around your perked bud, closing his mouth then releasing it—leaving kisses and bite marks all around your breast. You were prepared for all the purplish marks you'll in the morning, you prayed you had your ointment at home.

Using his other hand, he slid his hand down your stomach, earning another moan from you. His touch felt so ethereal, this was what your body was craving for all these months.

His hand slid past your joggings, making contact with your cotton underwear. He dipped his fingers between your lips, gathering the slick that was leaking from your heat. His fingers brushed against your clit, as you moaned his name,

"eren—hnng, stop teasing—"

His only response was a smirk as he released his lips from your nipple with a wet pop sound.

"look how wet you are for me, hm? what happened to that attitude that you're so keen of?" his index finger continued to rub against your entrance, your clit getting some friction in the process. His middle finger plunge into your hole, sliding is easily from the lubrication of your wetness as he began pumping his finger in a steady motion, each stroke going deeper and deeper, stretching you out.

"nnghh—fuck eren..." your voice pitched at a higher tone for a moment.

you haven't felt like this is a while, his long digit fitted perfectly into your hole.

"hm? look how tight you pussy has gotten without me, can't wait to feel you around me."

Eren pulled his finger out, using his index to spread open your lips, then gathered some more slick as both fingers went inside.

He was prepping you up for his length, since you haven't had sex in a while. His fingers started to scissor you, both spreading out in your core—stretching you out even more.

Your hand immediately went for his hair and tugged at it with a grunt, eren moaned at your aggressiveness with his brunette locks.

"s-stop...mfhh." another soft mewl escaped your lips.

Eren pulled out his fingers and rested them in your panties.

"Stop?" He knew what you meant, he always does. his eyebrow turned to an arch, waiting an answer.

"m'didn't mean for you...to," you couldn't form a sentence, your mind was so hazy from the heated atmosphere between you two. you wanted his touch again, you hated the feeling of you clenching around nothing.

eren gave your chest a few pecks, then one at your neck close to your jaw.

"use your words, y/n." man, he was enjoying this too well. He missed this part of you so bad, having you a complete mess under his touch.

"I want you inside of me." The last word was spoken in a lower tone, you were embarrassed. Never knew you'll hear those words come from your mouth again.

"Good girl." He bought his fingers up to his mouth as he sucked on them, swirlying his pink tongue around his digits while directly making eye contact with you. Releasing them with another wet pop, he start to work on his joggers.

Moving off of you, he swing his legs to the edge of bed, pullng down his gray sweats as it hits the floor–slides it across the floor. He did the same with his boxers.

You did the same, taking off your bottoms along with your damp panties, placing it over with your other clothing.

erens cock slapped against his abdominal, precum already dripping from the slit of head.

He gave himself a few strokes, groaning loudly as he shifted back to your direction. Settling between your legs, he uses his hand to trace his pink tip between your folds, slipping between your lips constantly—gathering lubrication.

"m'mfgh...stop teasing eren," your chest was heavy with anticipation, you wanted him inside you so bad. His free rest on your bended knee, his fingers drawing circles.

"shhh, y/n—I know." He coos.

Finally, he dipped his cock into your seeping hole as your velvety walls draw him in–not giving him a chance to adjust from tight you were. You both moan in unison, feeling contentment, getting what you guys wanted you at last.

" hnng, you're so tight...shit," erens eye closed shut while he pushed the rest of his length inside you. Even after stretching you out with his fingers, you were still tight and eren enjoyed every second of it.

Once he was in all the way, his cock was a snug fit—he waited for you to adjust so he could move.

Your chest now heaving up and down, you give a little nod—signaling it was okay to move. Drawing his hips back, he slid out of your core completely and immediately thrusted forward entering back to your wet core.

Eren began thrusting into you at a steady pace as his both of his hands grabbed your legs, resting them behind your knee.

You knew it'll be a long night.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

update note: HAHAHA IM BACK GUYS MORE FANFICS. I'm finally on spring break 😭

#x reader #anime #attack on titan #eren headcanons #eren x reader #eren yeager #eren yeager x reader #aot x black reader #eren jeager x reader #eren jeager #eren jeager headcanons #armin x black reader #eren aot #eren yeager smut

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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 3 years

Text

IUI - The Way I Love You

bear with me here folks

I know the Idiots are usually soft af. but my lovely spouse/fiance/soon-to-be-fiance and beta @dani-dandelino hit me with an idea and I added a dash handful of angst bc i couldn’t help it

Warnings: feelings of inadequacy, fear of breakup (no actual breakup I promise), miscommunication, drunk af Geralt, past shitty relationships, happy ending tho I promise, there’s tears but they’re happy I swear.

______________________________________

Geralt only ever got sloppy drunk when Jaskier was the DD. It wasn’t necessarily that he didn’t trust anyone else, it was that he didn’t trust his drunk boyfriend not to goad him into something stupid.

The last time they’d both gotten fucked up outside of their apartment they woke up with three traffic cones and a “Speed Hump” sign in their living room. When they asked Triss what happened she sent them a video of them giggling as they tried to fit the sign into her trunk.

After hanging the sign in their apartment, they decided it may be best to take turns.

This particular instance, they’d dropped Triss and Yen off and were on their way home, Geralt’s head lolling against the window as he fought to stay awake.

“I’m not carrying your perky ass upstairs,” Jaskier laughed, snapping his fingers near Geralt’s ear.

Geralt grumbled but sat up straight and leaned into Jaskier’s outstretched hand, “Radio.”

Affectionately rolling his eyes, Jaskier pulled his hand away and flipped on the radio. Geralt immediately gasped and started singing along off key and slurred. The first time Jaskier heard Geralt scream along to Taylor Swift he’d been shocked, if extremely endeared.

“BUT I MISS SCREAMIN’ AND FIGHTIN AND KISSIN IN THE RAIN! IT’S TWO AM AND I’M CURSIN’ YOUR NAME! SO IN LOVE THAT WE ACTED INSANE, AND THAT’S THE WAY I LOVED YOUUUUUUUUU!”

Jaskier turned the volume down to a reasonable level when Geralt cranked it so loud his ears might start ringing. He rolled his eyes when Geralt started singing it to him, taking the shortcut home and trying to ignore the little pit forming in his stomach.

When the song ended Geralt turned the radio down and picked up his hand not gripping the steering wheel, “Jask?”

“Mhm?”

Even in the car, Geralt glanced around conspiratorially before whispering, “I have a secret.”

Fear flared in Jaskier’s chest but he took a deep, calming breath, reminding himself who he was talking to. His boyfriend thought secrets were fun. Mostly because Geralt’s version of a secret was keeping what he made for dinner a surprise until Jaskier got home. He’d even felt guilty not telling Jaskier he was seeing a therapist when they’d started dating. For all his gruff exterior and suspicion, Geralt really was an open book with those he loved and trusted. Jaskier had a very different idea of what secrets in a relationship meant.

“What’s that, love?”

Geralt giggled as he traced the edges of a magnolia on the back of Jaskier’s wrist, “That is the way I love you.”

Luckily for Jaskier’s car, they were rolling up to a stop sign. He had time to loose his breath for a moment and fight back the initial feeling of shame and anger with himself before he pulled his hand away and gripped the steering wheel as he punched the gas.

Through gritted teeth, he said the gentlest thing he could think of, “We don’t kiss in the rain.”

Geralt frowned, almost pouted at him, “I still love you.”

A part of Jaskier wanted to scream at Geralt, another part wanted to pull over and make him walk home, thankfully the loudest part reminded him the idiot was just drunk. He didn’t know what he was saying and he thought he was being sweet. There was also a good possibility he would cry himself to sleep in the passenger seat if Jaskier yelled at him and last time he tried to carry Geralt to bed his back hurt for a week.

“I love you too,” Jaskier sighed as he pulled into their parking spot.

He didn’t sleep well that night. Not because his sweaty, smelly, and fidgety boyfriend clung to him in his sleep, but because he couldn’t stop thinking about the ride home.

Jaskier had lived in relationships like that for most of his adult life. Hell, even in his teens. They were nothing but all consuming passion with no connection to support it and left both parties jaded and lost. When he left his mentor he’d sat in Yen’s chair for hours and hours, until his arm had gone numb, and the only thing he could think was ‘never again’.

And now Geralt thought he was being cute. The ridiculously meticulous and serious man was only ever sappy when he got drunk and now instead of reveling in it like he’d like, Jaskier was staring at the clock on his nightstand calculating how exhausted he’d be in the morning as the minutes ticked by.

Turns out, he was at least in the land of the living by the time Geralt shuffled into the kitchen with his hands in his hair and a pained expression.

“Feel like shit.”

Jaskier hummed in agreement as he sipped his morning tea and shifted in his seat to see better out the window.

After popping a few anti-inflammatories and nibbling on a cracker before giving up on food, Geralt lumbered up behind Jaskier and draped his arms over his shoulders, “What’s wrong?”

“S’nothing. I’m just being… touchy.”

Geralt pressed a light kiss over the hellebore tattoo on Jaskier’s neck, “I doubt it.”

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes as Jaskier laid his hand over Geralt’s arm across his chest, “I don’t want to lose this.”

“Why…? What makes you think you would?” Geralt was a little slower on the draw hungover, but he knelt next to Jaskier’s chair and rested a hand on his knee as he waited for a response. He only ever looked so worried when Roach had an abscess and it broke Jaskier’s heart. He didn’t want to say it and ruin everything.

After a deep breath in, he mumbled out his answer, “Do you really love me like that song?”

“What song?” Geralt breathed, his thumb brushing back and forth over Jaskier’s knee.

“The uh, Way I Loved You one.”

Geralt searched his face for a beat, the crease between his eyebrows only deepening, “Of course I do.”

“Fuck,” Jaskier breathed, biting his lip to keep it from wobbling as he forced all the air from his lungs in the hopes it would do something to stop the tears from falling. When it was clear he would lose the battle he leaned forward with his elbows on the table, hiding his face in his hands.

“You… don’t want me to?” Geralt sounded close to tears himself, but he didn’t take his hand off Jaskier’s thigh.

“No- yes! No?” Jaskier sniffed and wiped at his face but didn’t lean back to look at Geralt, “I- Geralt I can’t just fill a hollow relationship with lust. We ha- I thought we had more? But if you want the- the fights and the hate fucking- I don’t- Geralt I don’t want that. Not with anyone but not with you. Ne-”

“Hey, hey,” Geralt tugged at Jaskier’s arm, gathering him to his chest when the brunette melted into sobs, “I don’t want that. That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry, love. I’m so sorry I let you think that.” He cradled Jaskier’s head to his shoulder, pressing kisses into his hair between softly spoken apologies and reassurances. They stayed there until Jaskier’s tea went cold and his sobs were closer to little gasps.

Eventually, Jaskier lifted his head and met Geralt’s eyes, “H-how do you love me?”

Geralt licked his lips, his voice barely above a whisper, “Not- It’s not hollow.”

Jaskier squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his forehead to Geralt’s, “Please?”

One of Geralt’s hands came up to cup Jaskier’s cheek as he took a deep breath, “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you… I never wanted to be romantic with anyone until you. You… You make me feel… safe. I’m never bored of you or numb or sick of you. This is the first relationship I’ve had where I bother to fight, Jask. I love you so much it makes me do things I never thought to do and I’m glad and I never want to change anything about us. Never.”

A shiver ran down Jaskier’s spine as relief flooded his whole body. His throat ached from crying and his shoulders were sore from holding all that tension in a way they hadn’t for years, but he’d never felt so good. Geralt loved him. Him. Not some tumultuous relationship or the sex or the drama of it all. Someone finally loved him for him.

It hadn’t really hit Jaskier till then. They’d said ‘I love you’, sure, but he hadn’t really believed Geralt, just like he’d stopped believing the string of selfish lovers before him.

“Thank Mellitelle,” Jaskier laughed, just on this side of hysterical as he tightened his grip around Geralt’s shoulders, “I fucking love how boring we are. And you. Fuck I really really do love you.”

“Even when I smell like my regulars?” Geralt teased, intentionally huffing a little extra and dosing Jaskier in his horrendous hangover morning breath.

Jaskier wrinkled his nose but smiled and kissed him anyway, “Of course.”

“Mhh,” Geralt pulled away for a moment, brushing his thumb over Jaskier’s crows feet in a silent request for him to open his eyes, “Can we go back to bed?”

“The crying does it for you, huh?” Jaskier chuckled, his voice was still weak but his laugh was genuine.

“I’m so dizzy, Jask,” squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head ever so slightly, Geralt plopped back onto his heels. If Jaskier hadn’t witnessed just how much he drank he’d say he was lying, but Jaskier was truly surprised he’d even climbed out of bed this morning.

“Mkay, up. Back to bed then.”

They settled under the blankets and tangled themselves back together. Geralt hummed, closing his eyes and squeezing Jaskier a little tighter.

New, happier tears threatened at the corners of his eyes but he pushed them down, opting to trace the corner of Geralt’s buttercup tattoo peeking out of his shirt, “I love you.”

Geralt took a deep breath in before he sighed out a rumbling, “I know.”

“No, Geralt. Really,” Jaskier laid his hand over the yellow and green ink, “I’ve said these words more times than I can count but I don’t think I ever really understood them until you.”

“Jaski-”

“I love you,” Jaskier’s interruption was far smaller and far more fragile than he had intended. His words just continued to spill out, “You’re steady and calm and I’ve never had that. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be like and I’m constantly scared I’m gonna fuck it up…”

Comforting fingers ran through his hair as Geralt murmured his reply, “Me too,” Jaskier just squeezed his shoulder in a bit of solidarity and a bit of selfish comfort, “But I think we’re doing alright…”

“Why’s that?”

“Well,” Geralt started, shifting so he was practically engulfing Jaskier, “we both still love each other, and...” his boyfriend pinched him when he trailed off, pretending to fall asleep in a way that always mad Jaskier giggle, “Ow- and you use the hooks by the front door.”

“I do, don’t I?” Jaskier sniffled, “And you used your words.”

“I’d use all the words for you.”

“All of them?”

Geralt really was drifting away this time, his words coming slowly as his arms relaxed and Jaskier felt their full weight over him, “Not well, but I would...”

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theotheroccassionalfanficwriter · 3 years

Note

That Rosaria x reader fic was absolutely perfect. I would love to see one of Beidou with a strap on x F Reader if that’s alright!

Sorry it took so long, this is a bit tame compared to Rosaria, less horny and more smut with feelings. Anyways have a Beidou x F! Reader that was inspired by Tian Guan Ci Fu’s OST

Singing Magpies in Liyue Harbor

Beidou x Female Reader

Rating: E for explicit description of sex and yearning

Summary: No matter how far you have fallen, in Beidou’s eyes you would always be that noble lady that she had fallen for.

---

If there was a list of people Beidou had a soft spot for, you would be the first on the list. No one knew why, much less you, a fallen noble lady but even so it was one of Beidou’s guarded secrets. The reason eluded you, and you made your peace with it. You didn’t care about why she would be sweet to you, or why she would choose you to warm her bed at night.

‘There are some things,’ You thought ‘that are better left in the dark.’ This much you knew after falling from grace, being trampled upon and mocked by your former peers.

“Are you thinking about the past again?” Beidou asked, her sleeping robes were wide open and the scent of plum wine lingered in the air.

From the mirror of your boudoir, you stared at her, smiling softly and fondly. Beidou was a handsome and beautiful woman, toned stomach and in this particular night filled with ambiguous air, she was alluring with her soft eyes and teasing smile.

“How could I not?” You replied, “That I can live well is because of your grace.”

And it was the truth, you were a noble lady of high birth, pampered and spoiled by your family. You had never experienced any hardship, never had to starve, or live under the stress of making ends meet. You were Liyue’s most sought after flower, up until your family fell out of grace. How great was the praise for you was equal to the scorn and mockery you received.

And at the lowest point of your life, when you had resigned to sell your body just to feed your family for one more day, she had arrived before you. You were just a stranger to her, a fallen noble lady who only had the mastery of the four arts as a redeeming quality. And yet, she was the only one who had offered you warmth.

You felt her arms wrapped around you, a familiar comfort as you passed your days in her service. It didn’t matter that your reputation was reduced as Beidou’s whore behind your back. What mattered was this gentle warmth that saved you from the brink of despair.

You felt her lips pressed gently on your hair, and you smiled softly and foolishly in love with this woman who slayed beasts. You smiled at her through the mirror, your lips were painted with red rouge, cheeks flushed with the heat from the plum wine and your arousal.

Slowly you dropped the collar of your inner robes, ever so slowly enticing her with the gradual reveal of the skin of your nape, your smooth collarbones, and then the valleys of your chest. Beidou watched everything unfold with eyes burning hot as her calloused hands gently and reverently touched your hair moving it away to bite at your neck playfully. And with practiced ease, began to disrobe you, all the while never taking her eyes off you in the mirror.

You watched her back with half-lidded eyes, hazy with the beginnings of lust as her hands roamed over your body, teasing you mercilessly with her skillful fingers. There was no need for words between the two of you, not in this instance, where your body was completely Beidou’s to play with.

You moaned when her fingers dipped inside the folds of your pussy, body arching in pleasure as you sought after the feeling of her fingers against your clit. You feel her kiss on your cheek and you opened your eyes and found yourself still being surprised by the sincere look of love in her eyes.

“Beidou…”you called out her name softly, pleading for more, there is a part of you that wonders what your past self would say now, with your shameless act of lust.

But all thoughts of self-mockery was washed away by Beidou’s sweet kiss, as if you were her precious lover and not some one she had saved to warm her bed. Her mouth devoured you as her fingers plunged in and out of your pussy, you kissed her with all that you had, arms circling on her neck as you exchanged heated kisses.Your robe was wide open, breasts rubbing against Beidou’s naked chest as you felt her fingers curl and give you your first orgasm of the night.

The ship was silent, and the sea was calm, amidst such peaceful scenery was the sounds of debauchery coming from Beidou’s resting quarters. Beneath the soft orange light of the lamp were two bodies moving in rhythm. You on the bottom and Beidou on top, attached in front of her was a jade dildo, strapped on her hips that laid perfectly in front of her pussy.

You moaned with each thrust that slid in and out of you easily, your breasts jiggled with each thrust Beidou made. She smiled at you as perspiration gathered on her forehead, her own pussy clenching at the dildo that was inside her. Each thrust she made inside you would make her pussy take in the dildo that was attached at the other end of the strap on.

The erotic squelched of your wet pussy only served to aroused her, making her chase her own orgasm as you came another time. Beidou didn’t stop moving even as you came once more from oversensitivity. The sheets of Beidou’s bed were already drenched with cum and sweat and despite that, you made no move to stop, only continuing to beg her for more.

You embraced her, eyes shut as you kissed her and had your tongue explore the inside of her mouth. You tasted the plum wine she had drunk and found yourself intoxicated from the lust and the taste of the wine. Beidou detached your mouth with the slightest reluctance before turning her focus on your perked up nipples, glistening with sweat and saliva from the numerous times she had already sucked and bitten it.

Beidou’s thrusts didn’t stop even as her mouth plundered your breasts once more. Her free hand held yours, entwining it as if ensuring you would never escape from underneath her as you moaned her name. Your pussy clenched as you came once more, you opened your blurry eyes as you watched Beidou’s face overcome with pleasure.

You smiled before kissing the top of her head softly, “Let me ride you?” You asked as Beidou let you maneuver her body to have her lie down on her back.

“Mmn.” She answered as she helped you steady yourself and watched as you easily slid pussy down the jade dildo. With dilated pupils and rising arousal, Beidou gripped your hips as you began to slowly move up and down the dildo before gradually raising your speed until your breasts were bouncing from the force of you slamming your g-spot again and again against the tip of the dildo.

It didn’t help that Beidou’s hips met the timing of you slamming down the dildo, thus increasing the amount of force that was sending you to celestia with the pleasure that came from having your g-spot pounded. The same could be said to Beidou who was enjoying the feeling of having her pussy pounded and the erotic sight you painted. The smell of wine in the room was now mixed with the combined scent of Beidou’s and your arousal.

The moans and grunts that eminated from Beidou’s room painted an erotic night in anyone’s mind that was close enough to hear it. The way you looked as you chased after your pleasure made Beidou yearn for you stronger than usual and she couldn’t help but pull you down for a kiss. She hugged you tightly as she kissed you deeply and moved her hips for both of your pleasures. As you both stopped for air, your eyes met with red ones, in that moment as your hair slowly slid down and tangled with hers, you could not help but feel your heart quicken, your cheeks to heat up.

“I…” You paused, not knowing if now was the right time to say it.

“It’s alright,” Beidou comforted you “we can just sleep for now.”

And you slowly feel your body relax as you lowered yourself to her side, eyes looking at her as Beidou turned to bring you closer to her equally naked and messy body. You could feel your heart fill up with messy unspeakable emotions, ones you swore to do away when your entire world had turned its back on you.

And yet as the clutches of sleep took you in its gentle embrace, you couldn’t help but think, ‘Before I met you...I never realized how easy it was to be happy.’

As you slept well in her arms, Beidou didn’t bother to hide the swelling emotions in her eyes as she remembered the first time she had met you. On that hot summer day, with hunger in her stomach and desperation setting in. She was brave and foolish enough to steal from a noble lady, what misfortune it was to be caught and berated harshly.

And yet, on that day when she had resigned herself to death, you had stood in front of her. Gentle and kind, eyes without a shred of pity as you ordered her servants to let go of you, treating her wounds with precious medicine. Feeding her and allowing her family to live for one more day.

She had resigned herself on having her measly pride trampled on, resigned to the misery of poverty and yet you who stood on top had given her hope. Beidou never forgot how you had protected her worthless measly pride back then nor did she forget the life-saving grace you had given her.

The reforms your family made to help eradicate poverty was what gave her a chance to turn her life around. That act of kindness that was nothing in your eyes was burned deep in her heart. The words you spoke that day had laid the foundations on who she was today.

“No one would like to steal unless they are forced to do so, let this child go. A few missing fruits would not bring our family into starvation but these fruits can let their family live another day.” You spoke with sincerity and Beidou knew that you were truly kind.

She had spent each day since then sneaking into your courtyard, hoping to catch a glimpse of you, running away when caught and yet you made no move to complain. Allowing her to come and go as she pleased, giving her food, clothes and mora.

She watched as you grew up, changing from a sweet and energetic girl to the ideal noble lady of Liyue’s nobility. She took tabs on you as she built her reputation, hoping to get the chance to get closer to you. But life had its twist and turns, by the time she had gotten the reputation she needed to get close to you, it was too late.

You were no longer Liyue’s top beauty, a flower that had fallen into disgrace with your family’s debts. Beidou had searched for any news of you, paying handsomely just to know your outcome. She was unresigned, and determined to return the life debt she owed you.

Each rumor and mockery that was made against you was wound in her heart. To her, you were a beloved lady that was meant to be adored forever, loved by the people around you. And yet, the friends she thought cared about you as much as she did abandoned you easily, trampling upon your dignity as if the past friendship was mere trash.

Who would have known that she would find you in Liyue Harbor’s red district. Eyes as empty as your cold smile as you allowed yourself to be appraised. In that moment, seeing your out of season clothes and the lack luster shine of phoenix hairpin, Beidou made the boldest decision she had ever made.

You had already suffered enough, in her eyes, you were just an innocent daughter carrying the sins of your father. So she snatched you away from your prospective buyer and bought you for herself.

“1,000,000 mora for her” Beidou said as she pulled you into her arms, “you can get the payment from the Northland bank under my name.”

And she took you away without looking back. Beidou knew that you could feel her hand shaking but even so she carried on, ignoring the whispers as she took you aboard the Alcor. She couldn’t allow you to be tainted, to be plunged in the pit of despair just to live another day.

On that day, in the privacy of her quarters, Beidou swore that you would never experience such humiliation and hardship again. With trembling hands and sorrowful eyes, she asked for you to spend your life, to walk hand in hand until both of your hairs turned white.

“It is my blessing to have received your grace at this time” you answered her and gave yourself to her that same day. A part of Beidou wondered if you regretted that you couldn’t wear the red clothes of a bride or enter the bridal sedan.

She wondered as she gave you your first experience with pleasure if a part of you resented that salvation came in this form. But even so, she didn’t want to stop as she tasted you, as her mouth left a trail of bites and kisses down your body.

She savored the taste of your pussy as she lapped your juices up, her hands held your thighs tightly as she made sure to make your first time pleasurable. She wanted you to forget all painful things and only look forward to the joy and prosperity she would bring you.

“Beidou” You called out her name, so softly, pleading for something you weren’t even sure you knew and it was enough to make her heart swell and acknowledge what she had been ignoring for a long time.

“Don’t cry,” She appeased you, kissing away your tears as she gently coaxed another orgasm out of you “I’ll take care of you.”

“I’ll never make you suffer again.”

“I’ll always be by your side.”

“You’ll never be abandoned again.”

Beidou muttered all these promises as she fucked you again and again until daybreak arrived and you had already passed out from exhaustion. And now as she lay beside you she couldn’t help but grab a few strands of your hair that fell on your face.

She brought it close to her mouth and kissed it gently.

“It’s fine if you never remember, but my dear, I want you to know that what I love is you and not the state of you.”

#Beidou x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact beidou x reader

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