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ratcandy · 1 year

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speculating nosk biology things with my now minimal understanding of basic entomology because. I dunno. I can (aka I started thinking about it late a few nights ago and now can't stop thinking about it)

This is HEAVILY based on preconceived headcanons of mine so if you're wondering "where did that idea come from" it came from that time I wrote a zote fanfiction about it. Anyway

A LOT of this is just me rambling and throwing out ideas to see what sticks. And explaining entomology concepts. 'Cause this is also doubling as me studying for my prin. of entomology exam on Monday. So if anything I'm saying here is blatantly wrong,,,, I am running off of what I have been told in class and mixing it altogether in a pot, so I mean. I dunno!!! I am jus saying shit. There's a LOT I'm left to learn and I'm jus running with what little i know so far </3

what I'm saying is. more experienced entomologists pleas be nice to me if u see this sdhgKSJDGH I AM a baby .

anyway REALLY long post below, be warned; as well as REAL BUG PICTURES

So Basically. In my already established nosk headcanons, I had considered nosks as sexually dimorphic (males and females are physically very different from one another). I had it that males were wingless and developed raptorial front limbs whereas females developed wings in place of those limbs.

And this type of dimorphism - where one sex has wings and the other doesn't - does occur in actual insects (which we're assuming nosks are for this, since they're hexapods at the very least). It's just not too common, and usually the other way around. The only example I can think of rn are embioptera/embiidina, or webspinners; females stay wingless and live in expansive web galleries while males are winged for the purposes of going out to find mates.

(image link)

And that's Usually how it goes if one sex has wings. Usually it's the male that develops wings (or both do, but the female can shed them, such as with termites), and that's due to how different sexes have contrasting optimal reproductive strategies (Females produce less gametes and they take more energy to produce, whereas males have a lot more and therefore can have a low investment in individual gametes. Male insects then - for the most part - want to reproduce as much as possible, whereas females are more "choosy" and go after quality males)

Now the thing about biology as a whole is that there's always exceptions to the rule. Nothing is the end-all-be-all and especially not with Bugs. Some insects do it the other way around, where the males are "choosy" while the females compete for them (see: Mormon crickets). There are ALWAYS exceptions!!! So with nosks, let's say the female develops wings and the males do not. What does that suggest for them?

It's kinda suggesting that the females are going to have to be the ones in charge of dispersal. She'll probably have to leave her nest, find a mate elsewhere, before starting her own colony - sorta like queen bumblebees do. Kinda. A little bit. It would make sense if the male nosks are like drones, anyway; usually unable to care for themselves that well and existing to reproduce and then die.

The thing is, and this is my own oopsie since I was young and didn't know all that much, in my previously established lore, all the mate selection is pretty much going on within one nest. It functioned a lot like a pack of mammals as opposed to a nest/hive of bugs. Because if it was functioning like a bug hive, erm. Well everyone in there would be related. So. I can Make Shit Up/Mesh Stuff Together to avoid that, though - there are Things that happen with bugs that can be messed with to better explain some of this. Potentially.

Firstly I gotta talk about a type of polygyny. Specifically resource defense polygyny. This is where a male insect finds a resource that females will need, be it food, shelter, or whatever, and will sit and guard it for when females come around. That male will mate with any female that comes for "his" resource. And there's another called female defense polygyny, wherein a male will gather up a bunch of females and defend the whole lot of them for himself.

SO. What if we (sort of) combined these with sociality in insects, as well as the idea of sexual role reversal? What if for nosks, the nest is the resource? A female will find the resource and guard it, perhaps having her own daughters to begin the inklings of a colony, and then just grabbing any male that comes by and dragging him into the colony. If she can get males to mate with her or her daughters, it potentially could help inclusive fitness (wherein cooperating with relatives increases one's own genetics being passed down, therefore increasing fitness). This would then explain why females are still considered somewhat matriarchal in nosk structures; the female starts the colony, allows the males to have shelter in her nest, and it's up to her/her daughters who gets mates. Eventually, then, one, a few, or all of the females of a given nest would leave to start their own colonies elsewhere, while some of the males would scatter to hopefully find their own mates.

Because I'm assuming it would work like bumblebees, where once the new queen leaves, the old hive dies off. Or maybe not. Maybe some females stay behind with some males, and it just keeps perpetuating as more males stumble across it and the females drag them in.

And/or maybe nosks have their own royal jelly type thing that dictates who the next colony-founding nosks will be. Not necessarily queens, as the daughters are also having mates, but Nest Founders.

The sociality would come in with overlapping generations (the Nest Founder, her daughters, her daughters' offspring) and kiiiind of reproductive division of labor? Not really though. Both sexes contribute to hunting/providing for the den, at least according to my old headcanons, so. Erm. Well honestly even that is weird. Maybe the males have to prove they're worthy enough to stay in the nest offered by the females by bringing in food? Or maybe that's how they prove quality? Uncertain. My train of thought fell off with this one shdgKJDHG

(For COGR purposes, That would explain why Mama chose zot's dad tho. If he's bringing in food consistently, he's proving quality of some kind, even if he's otherwise Just Some Guy)

Definitely no cooperative brood care, though. These guys are still awful to each other. Which is a whole other thing. I don't know if any social insect species are openly hostile with their nestmates unless something is wrong with said nestmate (such as disease/parasitism)?? Maybe nosks are just way too into that whole 'quality' thing to the point of ruthlessness. Maybe female nosk gametes are even more expensive/limited than most, and that's why they're Like That. More cost, more to lose. I dunno. (Though that would be another thing pretty fitting with cogr stuff,,, weak baby = wasted gamete, and if those are super limited, that's a huge yikes)

Ok now I'm really losing track of what I was talking about. I dunno how much of this is even making sense at this point. I should study for ento exam like a normal person and yet here I am . just saying shit about a fictional insect that can morph its entire appearance at will. Which is decidedly not a thing irl bugs can do . that I know of.

Like mimicry yes of course. But this is Advanced mimicry. I can literally only think of those spiders that mimic ants rn and. well it's not like the spider puts on an ant costume while hunting and then looks like any other spider normally. no they just look like this

(image link)

At the same time as all this we gotta remember that nosks, at least in my headcanons, are like. At least a little bit sapient, be that the Pale King's influence or not; so there's that added element. Societal structure is a thing they have, as well as empathy (something they deny/often do not show) and maybe some loose culture. So like. There are complications here, obviously, but again I Am Just Saying Shit.

anyway. um. Yeah. If I think of more things maybe I will make another post like this. I don't know I'm just saying shit

#clamtalk #hollowed bugs #shifts eyes around.#hollow knight #it's midnight who will even see this Right. Right #nosk #yea................#i don't want to tag this with speculative biology/entomology tags because i'm SCARED #i keep constantly looking back at my lecture notes while writing this like What if I said something Wrong and Stupid.#even Unknowingly.#scary.#anyway. runs away . I SHOULD STUDY LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AUAUHRHAHGHHG!!!!!!!!!!!!#VERY long ramble #<- haven't used that tag in a while!!!#bugposting

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exlibrisfangirl · 2 years

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I really need some encouragement and love right now, my friends.

I'm growing more certain every day that whatever is causing my entire endocrine system to slowly shut down is eventually going to kill me, and I'm afraid.

I feel like I'm drowning - flailing and floundering and screaming for help - and my doctors are just sitting in a boat a few meters away, watching and waiting to decide whether or not I really need a lifeline... and I'm terrified that, by the time they catch on and realize that I'm truly drowning, it'll be too little too late.

I don't know what's happening to me (cancer? an undiagnosed autoimmune disease? who knows? not me... or my doctors, lol), but it feels BIG and BAD, and I have this increasing sense of urgency and impending doom I can't seem to shake.

I'm so exhausted (but can't sleep... good luck figuring that one out) and in so much pain all the time, I can barely function. My brain doesn't work. My body doesn't work. My skin keeps breaking out in rashes and hives and eczema. My face and neck and hands and feet keep swelling up (edema). My entire lymphatic system is inflamed, like I have the flu 24/7. The nerve endings in my hands and feet feel like they're on fire. I'm jaundiced. My stomach can't handle solid food. Swallowing is becoming more and more difficult. I can't focus my eyes very well. I can barely tolerate standing/walking anymore without fainting or losing my balance and falling over.

I don't know what to do.

This "new" health stuff (as opposed to all the old health stuff I was already dealing with, which was A LOT in and of itself) has been going on for a while now - like, at least a year - but I've been going downhill rapidly since my serious run-in with COVID last September. I have finally been referred to multiple specialists, but they are all booked out so far, that the first appointment of the bunch isn't until October. In the meantime, I guess I'll just keep forcing myself to go to work (because I can't afford to take time off) and pray that nothing terrible happens?

I can't do this much longer. I feel like it's only a matter of time before I crash and burn and end up in the hospital...

I'm just so scared. Scared and exhausted and in a tremendous amount of pain.

I don't really know what else to say; I guess I just need to feel seen and heard by someone, to know that I'm not going through this scary thing alone.

#sometimes mel says stuff #personal post #chronic illness #spoonie problems

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treesap-blogs · 1 year

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GUYS YOUR MAN IS BACK! WITH A REVIEW OF “THE HONEYS” BY RYAN LA SALA!

Hello, Tumblrians! It’s been a while. I thought I’d post more consistently due to it being my Spring Break time, but alas, I was fatigued and to be honest just needed a break. Even if I post once a week, I put a lot into reviewing everything! Yeah.

BUT! I read some bangers recently. I will get those out of the way first and foremost.

The Honeys is a 2022 horror novel by Ryan La Sala, following a genderfluid teen named Mars. (I’ll be addressing them with they/he/she pronouns this whole review btw, as the MC uses all of those pronounse.) His sister recently died a grisly death after running away from the prestigious summer academy she was attending, and although the uncharacteristic behavior and aggression in her final moments can be attributed to a tumor in her brain by doctors, Mars suggests there was some foul play involved. So, he goes back to the summer academy/camp in question: Aspen, a cisnormative, kinda cultish nightmare, which Mars swore they wouldn’t return to after an incident that happened years prior, but has to in order to investigate their sister’s death. There, they end up somehow befriending the local trio of popular girls: The Honeys, called that because of their beekeeping, are alluringly and suspiciously perfect girls with a pretty exclusive friend group that Caroline was part of right before she died. But, The Honeys are definitely not as they seem, and undoubtedly have a connection to Mars’ sister’s death. On top of that, in the daytime, something within the camp starts messing with Mars’ memories, and they need to get to the bottom of what exactly that is before it’s too late.

The Honeys holds a Book Backstory that, similar to Mars’ memory/POV for most of the book, is a little hazy to me now and I have a vague recollection of the series of events that led to this being something of high priority on my TBR. Maybe I just learned it was a queer horror and was intrigued based on the premise alone! But, my school library had this in its horror shelves, and I checked this one out along with Belladonna in order to clear off some of my Digital TBR. (I hadn’t gotten around to reading Belladonna yet with the Trans Rights Readathon going on, sorry.)

Anyhow! As only my second horror novel, this took a bit of adapting to, but halfway through I was expecting it to be tamer than it turned out. See, for a chunk of the novel, Mars lives in a bit of a haze and doesn’t have much recollection of their original investigation plan due to supernatural events, and as a result a third or so of this novel is summer camp shenanigans that are typical until a creepy event happens and gets shrugged off about 20 pages later. In that sense, it’s close to a slow burn psychological horror. So, if you’re expecting a lot of dead bodies and fear from our protagonist, just…know you’ll have to wait until the last 100 pages for more of that haha. Originally though, this kinda frustrated me because I disliked knowing more than the protagonist did when we technically knew about the same things at different points, but I liked how that part of the plot was wrapped up, and although I was critical of it at the time it makes a lot of sense in hindsight (I was just impatient and wanted a bloodbath I guess).

This also gave me a new interest, or I guess a new…buzzword…to look for in books and the like (collective crowd booing): Bee horror!!! I loved it so much. Bee horror isn’t really something new, I know, just look at Candyman for instance(and the new Amazon Prime series Swarm), but I just loved what they did with the body horror here. I loved the bits of bee research put into writing the apiary segments, the absolutely gross body horror we got (spoilers: people get TURNED INTO HONEY. Like, they melt and stuff!!), how the main hive mind was connected to everything and used actual beehive imagery in both metaphor and social structure. So cool. We love to see it.

Also, that ending!! No spoiler section for this review, but I will say that it’s absolutely BATSHIT!

Actually nevermind, changed my mind, WE’RE ADDING A SPOILER SECTION!!

SPOILER SECTION!! Buzz away if that’s not what you feel like reading or you want to go into this book blind.🐝

Ok!!! So. The ending. I was predicting that Mars would end up siding with the Honeys after they accepted them into their friend group, but I was absolutely not predicting the kind of scale or power their group had. The aforementioned “Hive Mind” was connected to the Honeys; they harvested honey from body-horroring some of the counselors into it, and they’d eat the honey to gain connection to this weird plane of reality called The Lace, which connects everyone’s minds together as one entity and makes them like..omnipresent or whatever. It’s so weird, I loved it.

Mars is forced to take on the leading role of Queen Bee, since his sister’s biology and stuff didn’t work with the literal throne and the stuff that came with that, and his parents are insistent about one of their bloodline taking on the title. To have this be put onto a transfemme character, after Aspen’s higher-ups were insistent about them remaining a “boy”, was fascinating to me. I’d have to do more lengthy analysis to properly dissect this, but to have Mars turn against the adult higher-ups while she’s Queen Bee felt like a way of reclaiming that as a means of affirming her identity and gender. (I mean, she’s presented femme throughout the book but that’s one of the only times they’re addressed with she/her pronouns by their parents, and Mars, while they were terrified of the Honeys themselves for a chunk of the ending, doesn’t have any discomfort in how they’re addressed gender-wise once they take on this role and it’s abilities.) Maybe that scene could be enough to convince a few girlies that, by the end, this could probably be a “Good For Her” horror, although it gets a little sketchy once we look into dissecting that? Just looking into the morals and stuff of The Honeys and how they fucked around with memories, will a little bit, and all that. (Not that Mars sides with that or decides to replicate it, even with their new abilities.)

But, I really liked the ending. I’m glad Mars got to get their revenge. It did feel a little “Good For Her”-y.

I do really want to do some analysis on it at some point though because I was thinking about some of the subtext within it and was, again, fascinated. Perhaps I’ll do a reread at some point, see if I liked things more or less, see if there’s anything I missed.

END OF SPOILER SECTION! (There was a flimsy Baby’s First Analysis y’all were not missing out if you skipped)

TL;DR(or TS;DR)(Too Spoilery, Didn’t Read), the ending was delightfully trippy and I tried my hand at dissecting some of the gender subtext within it.

Overall, a solid read! I was a little frustrated at the slowness sometimes, but that paid off in the end and I liked how everything wrapped up. I will always LOVE queer horror, especially stuff with trans protagonists 💪

Book rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars.

~Paz, signing off! ^^

(Book content/trigger warnings: Body horror, loss of autonomy(memory altercation), transphobic and homophobic bullying, frequent insects, blood and gore.)

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thatoneao3writer · 2 years

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Do you have any fluff Karl hc's?

He's my favourite on the Dsmp-

I'll try my best anon :D

- Karl likes to be a punctual person. He's like "i can literally travel through time, there's no reason for me to be late!" Buuuuut yeah, sometimes he's still late. And if it's a very important thing, he'll travel through time to be in time. (He hates to admit it but this has saved him a few times from being late to exams.)

- Karl used to have an old watch to help him remember which time he should return to after time traveling. It's an old thing, kinda rusty. Quackity saw it one time and the next day, he surprised Karl with a new watch. It had both his and Sapnap's inscription on it. Karl loves it, never lets the watch out of his sight. (The old watch is retired and kept in a glass box now for safekeeping. It might've been a present before, who knows :))

- Mostly Karl does time travel to do important stuff, like to prevent something bad from happening. But sometimes, he does it for fun. A prime example would be the one time he pranked Tommy by manipulating time to make it as if he's another speedster. It almost drove Tommy crazy. Another time he also pranked Niki (although he stopped because Puffy got mad on behalf of Niki because "nobody, and I mean absolutely nobody, messes with my girlfriend.")

- Karl is an honorary HIVE member ever since he's revealed to have powers (which makes George very jealous - "Dream why can't you make me an honorary HIVE member??" "George you don't have powers" "So??? I've been here longer I should have seniority >:(" "Geooorge stop making that face-" "make me an honorary HIVE member then!!")

- the only reason Karl doesn't become a full member is because he doesn't really want to. And why HIVE? Well, both of his boyfriends are there. He doesn't want to fight them, ever.

- Sapnap once made him a plushie that looks like Karl's eldritch form. The sewing is a bit messy and unsteady but Karl loves it so much! (This also helped Karl a lot, since at the time, he still wasn't really comfortable with showing his other form.)

- Karl loves watching Disney. Aboslutely loves it. He loves the happy endings and how everything works out in the end. (He still has mixed feelings about all the live action movies though.) Sometimes he likes singing the songs too, and you know what's the best part of watching with your boyfriends? There's enough people to sing all the parts! :D

- 🏒

// this became more karlnapity than just karl but i hope you like it, anon :D

#ttau #karl jacobs #sapnap #quackity #karlnapity

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glapplebloom · 1 year

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Art is Subjective...

Everyone in Cheerilee’s class that doesn’t have a “said on TV” name is sick with the Horsey Hives and Twilight volunteered to read to them. But guess who shows up: Cadence and Shining Armor with their baby Flurry Heart. Wanting some time away to recharge, they were hoping Twilight can keep an eye on her. Spike tries to tell them that she had plans but Twilight accepts. And if you ever had to take care of someone’s kids while you had plans you know how this song and dance would go.

You want to do something, but the baby wants something done. Normally, the stuff you planned gets put aside because if you’re not watching them they may drop their heads on the floor and die. But since Twilight volunteers to read to kids, she tries to do both but ends up having to clean up the mess Flurry unintentionally or intentionally makes. This is because while she’s with Flurry Heart, she’s not paying attention to her.

Like at the Toy Store, because Twilight introduced the idea of a race car, Flurry continued to play it when Twilight was trying to pay for toys. Flurry drew on the chalkboard when Twilight was trying to find a book for kids. She even asked Twilight’s help for the Cake twins but she didn’t pay attention, causing her to do the old Judgement of Solomon tactic. It didn’t work. Flurry is a baby. A smart baby but still one. She doesn’t know better.

So when she lost her doll and was tearing the Hospital apart to look for it, it was Twilight’s fault because she wasn’t paying attention to the Baby Pony that could cause so much destructive power. And luckily this is a lesson for people taking care of babies: it's not about the quantity of time, but the quality. I look after my little sister’s kids but it pales in comparison to my sisters, mother and Grandmother’s care for them.

So what were Shining Armor and Cadance doing? Trying to take a break, they went to Shining Armor’s friend’s art gallery. But as much as they wanted a break, they did miss their baby and they went back to Twilight’s castle. Luckily by the time they did arrive Twilight returned with none the wiser. Still, Twilight told them what happened and said it was her fault. The Parents also take responsibility since they dropped this on her suddenly instead of having this planned. And it ends with what probably should have been done: let Spike handle it.

Which is the biggest issue I have with this episode: you have two people. Twilight seems more than capable of taking care of Flurry on her own. She could have just gotten Spike to set up everything and meet him at the Hospital. Then have her realize she’s late while Spike takes care of everything. Granted, you lose the lesson but this is why you have an assistant. But ignoring that, it’s alright. I wouldn’t say the best of the series, but it could have been worse.

It can’t be canon to GLAB since Twilight just returned. And I doubt there would be a situation where she has to do something and take care of Flurry. Click here for the original review.

#mlp review #MLP Revisit #Green Lantern Apple Bloom #season 7

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livingwithlosingyou · 2 years

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Living with Losing You - 10/14/2022

Lexington to Louisville to Lexington. And more.

Today was incredibly busy. I had off (luckily) so I decided to start my day with a leisurely 5k. I have my race tomorrow, so I want to make sure that I can actually do it / get a little more mileage in before. I had been running less because of the hives. Anyway, that went well.

After that I headed to the GF bakery to get some food because I only have two more days of it before I head home. So bittersweet. Plus, I needed to go to the studio. Today was a tough day since we focused on the James song (your song I wrote to you a couple days after you took your life).

I had to put myself in a bit of a weird headspace today. I couldn’t cry because it would mess with my voice, but I definitely felt the pain. I had to release it with singing versus tears. What was helpful (but also not at the same time) was the fact that I had to sing the same verses over and over again to make sure that we got the best takes. We also decided to take some clips of voicemails you’d left me to add onto the end of the song. Man.... Just when it couldn't get more emotional. Hearing you say that you loved me is such a distant memory. But, I love you in real time. It sucks.

We had some interesting stuff happen in the studio today with the electronics and even with shadows. I will post a picture at the end of the blog for everyone to see. Your dad came into the studio to listen to it, which I should have warned him since it was your song. And the fact that you were talking during it. He was definitely crying, so I am glad that I saw him after I was done singing. We just miss you SO much, James. You were so beautiful. I am sorry you felt so broken.

After the studio I rushed home because I had to head to Louisville! I was initially just going to go there for your friend Audrey’s birthday, but since I couldn’t eat where they ate, I decided to go to the pumpkin jack o’ lantern festival that you and I went to last year, then meet up. I was definitely running late. I was supposed to be there at 7:30pm and I didn’t even get to the ticket scan until almost 8:45pm. Luckily they let me in, but I will say the lady was asking me why I was alone and I got awkward and told her that you passed away. I was wearing the “His Sally” shirt, so I am sure that was already morbidly sad enough. I started tp tear up in line, and cried a little but on the trail. This was your favorite time of year, and this was one of your favorite events ever.

It was the 10 year anniversary, so they did it way bigger than last year. I will post some pictures because my words won’t even do it justice. Just to highlight a few moments though, James’s favorite story / movies were the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit. Well, that had that as one of the exhibits! I was in awe, and definitely cried as I stood there. You would have LOVED that. I am sure you were with me so I am sure you saw it, but still. It’s different. There was also a pumpkin at the end that was put to the music from “My old Kentucky Home”. You used to randomly sing that song. Last but certain not least I HAD to call out the fact that they had the Christmas spectacular preview at the very end. It was so magical and beautiful. There was one time I made James watch that video on YouTube. I always told him that I wanted to get engaged at that event. I was glad that I went because I know you would have wanted me to go, with or without you. I know that you want me to keep going. I am trying.

After that I ran back to my car (I should note that I parked a little less than a mile away because it was so packed) and got a hold to Audrey to see where they were. It was perfect timing for me to quickly change in the car and then drive to meet them. We all met up where you and I went to that Cuban place and grabbed macaroons. It has been hard at times to explore the city, but it is also nice to make new friendships and create different memories so places don't feel as haunted. Audrey is so lovely, and so is her boyfriend. They’re both psychiatric doctors, so I talked with them a little about maybe wanting to get into the clinical field myself. We also talked about maybe even just getting involved with some orgs. They both had great resources and were very encouraging. I was also able to talk to her about you some, and that was helpful for me too. Her other friends that I met were all either in med school or in residency. So cool. Sometimes I wish I would have taken a route like that, but also, everything happens for a reason, and I am grateful for the journey this life has taken me on. I miss you endlessly though. I could have done without losing you.

I ended up staying until a little after midnight and then drove back home. That was rough. I was so tired! And I have a 5k tomorrow morning, so we will see how that goes.

All in all today was an emotional day. Good, and bad. It’s almost 2am so I need to go to bed. I have a very bust day tomorrow.

I love you, James. I haven’t even really processed all the emotion from today, so we will see how that ends up working tomorrow.

Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022

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autisticsupervillain · 3 years

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Judicious Reaper AU

Hiveswap/Death Note Crossover

Tyzias Entykk is going heading home for the night when she stumbles across a strange black book on the ground. She picks it up and reads the five rules, written in plain Alternian.

The troll whose name is written in this note shall die.

This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing his/her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected.

If the cause of death is written within the next 40 seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen.

If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack.

After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds.

She shrugs it off and stuffs the "Death Note" into her bag, figuring it's just some weeb thing that Tegiri dropped and she could return it to him tomorrow.

Later that night, she finds herself mulling over the Death Note with the TV on in the background, wondering what it could be from. Tegiri's never been shy about his interests, so it does strike her as odd that she's never heard him mention it. It's not like it could be new either, as Tegiri would've bragged about his new notebook the first chance he got. Just as Tyzias resolves to look it up, Trizza appears on the TV screen.

Trizza subjects her audience to another one of her narcissistic tyraids about how much better she is than everyone else and how she's definitely the rightful Empress. Tyzias, already tired from a long night of work and throughly fed up with Alternia's bullshit for that night, decides to write Trizza's name in the Death Note. Just as Tyzias dryly remarks to herself that "i wwwwish it wwwwas that easy", Trizza drops dead on stage. Tyzias drops her mug in shock.

Alternia is sent reeling on the inexplicable death of its Heiress and Tyzias is left staring mortified at the Death Note in her hands. She quickly throws the book in the trash and resolves to try and get to bed early that day, knowing she'll have a long night of work tomorrow. She doesn't get much sleep that night.

Predictably, Alternia has descended into absolute chaos by the time Tyzias wakes up. Trizza's death has inspired the rebellion to be more overt and violent, actively organizing raids and invasions while highblooded rebels like Fiamat try and seize control of the power vacuum. This leaves Tyzias swimming in so much paperwork that she barely has time to even think about the Death Note in between tending to the emotional needs of a shocked and confused Stelsa and trying to get her work done on time.

In the coming weeks, the Purples and Violets loyal to the Empire begrudgingly unite to try and get a handle on things. Chahut is elected as a stand-in heiress, as she's the only one persuasive enough to convince the castes to work together for the time being. Marvus, however, has a different reaction.

He knows for a fact that Trizza didn't just die. The Messiahs gave him the script, told him how everything was supposed to play out, and Trizza was much to important to drop dead. She was assassinated, she had to be. It was the only rational explanation, even if he didn't understand how just yet. His only choice was to find this assassin and play damage control to try and correct this timeline. Part of him knew that was impossible, that they'd gone so wildly off script that their timeline was doomed now, but that's what made the challenge so appealing.

It's only when her work load had died down several weeks later that Tyzias thinks to pull the Death Note out of the garbage. That's when she found Ryuk standing over her. After she panics and tosses her mug through his head, Ryuk laughs and intoduces himself.

He explains to her what he and the Death Note are and why he dropped it on Alternia. Sure, Ryuk is typically supposed to be one of Earth's shinigami, he's had a lot of trouble finding good entertainment sense "that Light kid died" and figured a more bloodthirsty species could provide it.

"You, however, seem to be an exception to that rule. Most trolls in your place would be thrilled to have this much power. But you seem almost afraid of it. Afraid of what you could do with that power and afraid of what that power could do with you. I can't say any if its human owners had that same wisdom."

Tyzias admits that she doesn't really know what to do with it. She'd always wanted to stage a nonviolent revolution, to reform the system from inside while killing as few people as possible. But, that was before she had the Death Note. With which she could control the Rebellion's body count, only burn down what she needed to so she could come and rebuild it into something better.

Tyzias decides to take her mind off the dilemma by chasing down a case that interests her. Lowbloods had been going missing in her area lately and she wanted to investigate. It would've been easy to just chalk this up to violence in response to Trizza's death, but there were no bodies. No signs of struggle even, suggesting that either the lowblood community had either taken the opportunity to evacuate en mass or they'd been abducted during all the confusion.

She finds her breadcrumb trail and follows it back to one Zebruh Codakk, who'd taken the opportunity to lure lowbloods to his hive with the offer of safely sitting out the violent rebellion. True to form, he immediately enslaved those who accepted his invite.

Unfortunately, this is where Tyzias' case would hit a brick wall. Highbloods enslaving Lowbloods wasn't illegal and it would take months for her to forge enough evidence to convict Zebruh of an actual crime. But.... Tyzias has the Death Note. With the flick of a pen, she could remove Zebruh from the picture and free all his slaves.

So, one night, Zebruh mysteriously dies of a heart attack while a strange troll in a cloak frees his slaves. She introduces herself as a "judicious reaper" and advises them to take as much of Zebruh's stuff as they can and run. Their hives aren't safe anymore, the authorities would likely pin Zebruh's death on them.

Marvus, meanwhile, has been blindly searching for leads on Tizza's killer and hears about Zebruh's death. Through this, he puts together that the assassin is a genuine revolutionary and not just someone grasping for power, given both their targets were cruel towards Lowbloods and killing Zebruh wouldn't likely solidy any kind of power base for them given how unpopular he was. After he tracks down one of the escaped slaves, he learns about the "judicious reaper" who saved them and deduces that the assassin might actually live nearby. After all, they didn't show up at the scene of Trizza's death, but they did show up here. Or, at least, sent one of their operatives here to free the slaves.

He decides to test this theory. He orders a squad of bluebloods to seize control of the town, cutting of the wifi and intercepting all incoming signals, before rounding up a random selection of five trolls from each caste. The plan is to publicly execute them in the town square under the excuse of "quelling rebellion". If the killer does indeed live in that town and they're as altruistic as Marvus suspects, they'll likely kill these executioners to prevent any deaths, inadvertently outing that they live in that small town.

The killer clearly has supernatural means available, as Trizza and Zebruh seemed to die of natural causes, which means that supernatural system likely has rules and limitations to it. This gives Marvus the hunch that the killer might need names and faces to kill people. As such, only some of the executioners will publicly announce their names or take off their masks.

Tyzias is unaware of the ploy and of the full extent of Marvus' knowledge, as she has no reason to believe that anyone suspects that there even was a killer. As such, she's trying to figure a way out of this situation that won't give anyone looking for patterns a reason to think that there might be a killer. Unfortunately, Stelsa is one of the trolls selected to be executed, so her hand is forced.

Luckily, Stelsa's executioner gave both his name and his face, so Stelsa was saved, but Tyzias couldn't save all of them and a good chunk of trolls were still executed. She suspects now that this was a set up, given how weird and candid it was that some of the executioners gave their names and faces but others didn't, but her attention is currently on comforting Stelsa.

Marvus is ecstatic at having his theory proven correct and decides to investigate. Not personally, but by proxy. He's a celebrity, so he can't exactly go asking around himself, nor could any of his associates without raising suspicion. So, he decides to outsource to the last kind of troll that the killer would suspect. Boldir.

Boldir has been a pretty open pain in Marvus's neck for awhile now. He knows she's constantly poking around where she shouldn't be and he knows she's good enough at it to not leave any kind of tangible, solid proof. He'd only been tolerating her because the script said he needed her alive, but now she can play into his hands a little more directly. Marvus tracks her down and meets her in person at her hive, both because she'd figure out he's involved if he tried to deal with her indirectly anyways and because it makes the statement of "I know who you are and where you and your loved ones live". Boldir initially refuses to cooperate, but her interest is peaked when he offers her a favor. Marvus knows about Fozzer and he knows about how his personality has changed. Marvus offers to use his chucklevoodoos to get to the bottom of Fozzer's strange behavior if Boldir investigates this "judicious reaper" for him.

Meanwhile, Tyzias is comforting Stelsa. She's hesitant to open up to Tyzias, as they're matesprites and not moirails, but ultimately, she has no one else to turn to. Stelsa nearly breaks down going over how, not only is Trizza dead, not only does the Empire seem to be collapsing all around her, but the very Empire she trusted just tried to kill her for seemingly no reason. She's scared. Exhausted. Confused. And she just doesn't know what to do.

Tyzias considers revealing that she killed Trizza, all she'd have to do is hand her the Death Note, but she doesn't. Tyzias and Stelsa have always just politely ignored each other's political leanings. Tyzias has never had to lie about it before.

Putting those heavy feelings to the side for now, Tyzias realizes she has to get out of town. Killing those executioners was a big giveaway towards her existence and even potentially her identity, and, if it was a ploy like Tyzias suspects, it's likely the Empire's noose is closing in right that second. Luckily, Tyzias finds her answer online.

It turns out The Mask is one of the trolls Tyzias saved from Zebruh's clutches, and, after going through her files on Zebruh's case, Tyzias is able to figure out she's Chixie Roixmr. Chixie had been singing about the "judicious reaper" who saved her and had gotten people to rally behind them as part if the rebel movement. Tyzias sends Chixie a letter as this "judicious reaper", using her position to fudge the paperwork so this can't be traced back to her, and asks Chixie to perform live in her home town in three nights. Chixie announces her schedule change to her fans online, which sends swarms of The Mask fans to Tyzias's town.

Tyzias spins this to the now very paranoid local government as a potential rebel invasion and gets them to agree to an evacuation. Boldir keeps Marvus updated on this process and Marvus realizes that the killer is making an effort to escape. Deciding this would be the perfect opportunity to just get rid of them in one swoop, Marvus uses his resources to hire Azdaja and Konyyl to attack the evacuation train and kill everyone aboard.

This turns out to be Marvus's fatal mistake. Azdaja abd Konyyl start arguing at a crucial moment, allowing Tyzias, Stelsa, and Boldir to escape unharmed. Boldir even realizes how badly Marvus has shot himself in the foot as now the killer will know for a fact that someone powerful is after them.

Indeed, as soon as Tyzias, Stelsa, and Boldir make it to the next town over, Tyzias looks into the two assassins who tried to kill her. Realizing how expensive their fee is, Tyzias realizes just how powerful the person hunting her is. They're clearly onto her and have no problem bringing as much of their reach to bear on her as possible. So, she decides she has no choice but to take the fight to them.

So, Tyzias writes Chahut's name in the Death Note, effectively beheading the pro-empire side of the conflict. The should force her pursuer to back off and focus on the chaos going on above them, and it does. Marvus has to address this new power vacuum because otherwise he'll be next in line to fill the Heiress' throne, which would put him next on the killer's chopping block. Knowing he can't leave Boldir to handle this case unsupervised, he decides to kidnap Fozzer and use him ti threaten her into line directly. Now, Boldir is forced to wear a recorder all night, every night to make sure she doesn't try to betray him while he sorts things out between the purple bloods and the violet bloods.

Unfortunately, Marvus doesn't have to wait much longer to get results. Boldir is able to pin down Tyzias's identity after she pickpockets the Death Note and gets a good look at it. While Boldir doesn't meet Ryuk, as ahe snuck off before the two could notice each other, she does see that the names written down perfectly match the killer's known victims. That, alongside the rules listed up front, gives her enough proof to pin Tyzias as the killer. Boldir quietly returns the notebook so to avoid alerting Tyzias before informing Marvus.

After getting the rundown on Tyzias's personality from Boldir, Marvus kidnaps Stelsa to strongarm Tyzias into surrendering, broadcasting his demands to all of Alternia. Tyzias calls him and sets up a time and place to surrender, agreeing to come unarmed. In Tyzias's last gambit, she bribes Ryuk into staying out of sight on the night of her execution before sending Chixie a letter containing a page of the Death Note and the front page instructions how to use it. Thus, when Marvus attempts to execute her live before Alternia, he ends up dying as Chixie writes his name in the Death Note.

Marvus puts the pieces together as he dies, realizing that the strange black book filled with names that Tyzias had was how she killed her victims. He laughs and congratulates her for putting on one hell of a show before his heart stops.

With the pro-empire side soundly decapitated and with no one as competent as Marvus or Chahut left to carry the torch, Alternia swifty falls to the rebellion. Tyzias is offically given the title of the Judicial Reaper after her rebel friends rescue her and offer to shower her with awards. But, Tyzias puts all if that to the side. She needs to talk to Stelsa.

Stelsa is hurt, bitter that Tyzias did all of this behind her back. For as long as she had known her, Tyzias had said that she wanted to change Alternia peacefully. And, as much as Stelsa tried to dissuade her, she respected that. But, Tyzias assassinated the Heiress the first chance she got and now, one sweep later, had effectively taken over Alternia.

Tyzias tries to explain everything to her. She didn't want to overthrow anyone until Zebruh and Marvus forced her hand, she even hands Stelsa the Death Note and introduces her to Ryuk to prove it, but Stelsa is done.

Tyzias had the chance to tell her everything. Explain everything. Maybe even convince her of everything back when Stelsa was looking for comfort when the executioners showed up. But that moment is gone now. Stelsa leaves Tyzias behind with tears in her eyes.

Boldir catches up to Tyzias drinking at a bar. She introduces herself, explains how shes knows her, and apologizes for everything. She explains how someone she cared about was threatened and how she was currently tryinf to convince the rebels to let Fozzer out of containment due to his imperial bootlicking attitude. Tyzias symoathizes and the two bond over shared stories. Ryuk is bemused by the fact that Boldir doesn't seem intimidated by him.

After being given a high rank in the Rebellion's new regime, Tyzias is able to bring about the world she'd always dreamed of. Turning Alternia into a better world, step by step. After Glybglob is killed and the Condescension defeated, Tyzias finally works up the courage to confront Stelsa again.

After Tyzias took over, Stelsa wasn't really sure what to do with herself. So, she hid and watched the world change around her from the safety of her hive. Fear turned to curiosity and that turned to wonder. Stelsa has, during her sweeps in hiding, seen the ways that Tyzias had improved upon life on Alternia and is, after countless sweeps, willing to forgive her.

Sweeps later, after the Alternian Empire has been reshaped from the ground up and after Tyzias's body finally starts to give out, Ryuk comments that Tyzias is probably the only person he's seen win when handed the Death Note.

"Most people I give this thing too tend to lose. Usually because they try to cheat death, play God, or win big. But you? You didn't do any of that. And you won because of it. Sure, it made things a bit boring in places, but ut made things pretty fun too."

Ryuk writes Tyzias's name in his book. "Well, Tyzias, so long. It's been interesting."

#hiveswap #death note #tyzias entykk #stelsa sezyat #ryuk #marvus xoloto #boldir lamati #chixie roixmr #crossover #long post #judicial reaper au

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cherienymphe · 4 years

Text

Promised (Lucifer Morningstar x Reader)

WARNINGS: dub-con (with a hint of non-con)

IF THIS OFFENDS YOU PLEASE DNI

summary: when you start waking up with bruises you can’t explain, your nightmares turn into a reality.

This could honestly be for any fandom really because its...well...Satan, but I want to hop on Luke Cook’s dick so here you go.

Fog twisted around your feet as the rough grass tickled your skin. Your hands were outstretched, but you couldn’t see past a foot in front of you. Your steps were slow, unsure, and you looked around you. You were alone.

“Hello?”

Your voice echoed, confirming what you already knew, and nervousness overtook you. You slowly began to recognize these woods, and you frowned. You knew these trees, you’d grown up playing in these trees. You took another step forward, and a root suddenly took hold of your foot.

You stumbled back, only to fall as another root wrapped around your other foot. A scream tore from your lips as you reached out, hissing when more roots slithered around you, biting into your exposed skin. You tried to push yourself forward, but they pulled you back. One snaked around your head, forcing itself into your mouth as your screams became muffled.

You rolled your shoulder as you descended the stairs, a frown on your face as you walked into the kitchen. Your roommates looked up at you in concern as you reached for a mug, letting out a contented sigh at the smell of coffee.

“Another bruise?” Maya asked, worry filling her dark eyes as she eyed you.

“Yeah,” you sighed as you poured the steaming liquid into your cup.

“Did you ever go to the doctor?” your other roommate asked, his deep voice accusatory.

“I did, actually,” you said, cutting your eyes to him with a small glare. “Just like you suggested. She said that its clearly something I’m doing in my sleep, probably the result of nightmares I just can’t remember.”

Damien scoffed, approaching you, shaking his dark hair out of his eyes.

“She’s an idiot. How could you possibly be doing this to yourself?” he wondered aloud as he pulled your shirt down your shoulder.

Both of them hissed as they eyed the dark coloring along your skin.

“Jesus,” Maya gasped, getting a closer look.

“Is it worse? It didn’t look that bad before I took a shower this morning,” you mused.

“This is ridiculous, Y/N. There’s no way you could be doing this to yourself. This has been going on, for what, months now?” Maya questioned, outraged.

You brushed past her with a shrug, wincing as you did so.

“I’m considering getting a sleep study done, because I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this,” you complained.

Damien snorted from behind his own mug, and you eyed him. You glanced at Maya to see that she was doing the same.

“What?”

“You know my thoughts on the matter,” he murmured.

“For Christ’s sake, not this again,” Maya mumbled as she left the kitchen.

You stared after her before resting your gaze on him, his hazel eyes studying you.

“Look, Maya didn’t grow up in the kind of households we did. She doesn’t believe in this stuff, but you do, and you know just like I do that something strange is going on here, Y/N,” he whispered.

You shook your head. You’d had this conversation with Damien before, and while Maya simply wrote his words off, you couldn’t. The both of you had grown up in religious households, and even if you wanted to stay far away from any of your parents’ beliefs, they’d been ingrained into your brain for years.

“My parents are…fanatics. I can’t believe in the things they do. I refuse, because if I did, I would drive myself insane, Damien.”

“Y/N… For the past few months, you’ve been waking up with bruises and scratches that you can’t explain. Some of them in places you wouldn’t even be able to reach,” he hissed. “Certain items of yours have gone missing, and the ones that do turn up show up in the craziest of places. Just last week, you found your earring underneath a cup in the cupboard.”

You swallowed, afraid of the truth in his words.

“Something isn’t right here, and you know it. If you want me to come with you, I will, but you…you need to speak with someone. Someone other than a doctor,” he suggested.

You sighed as he brushed past you, staring into your mug like it would give you all of the answers.

You collected your book and rose from your seat as the sound of excited students surrounded you. Discussions of plans over the winter break filled your ears, and you grimaced. You’d had plans to go down south for the break with your roommates, but the strange happenings as of late were making you reconsider.

“Ms. Y/L/N. A word?” a familiar voice drifted over the chatter.

Your eyebrows rose in confusion, but you descended the steps to approach your professor, anyway. He was an old balding man with a gravely voice. A little weird at times, but he was a great professor.

“What are your plans for the break?”

Your confusion grew at his inquiry. Not once had you ever seen him take a personal interest in any student.

“I think I might go back home. I had other plans, but…it looks like those may be changing,” you honestly answered.

He hummed, dark gaze fixed on you. You fought to hold eye contact. Something was off…

“You won’t have any trouble finishing the assignment, will you?”

You tilted your head.

“No, of course not. Why…?”

“I just thought those nightmares of yours might interfere with your education.”

His calm visage didn’t match the nature of his words, and you blinked, processing them before stuttering out a response.

“I-I’m sorry. What?”

You blinked again, and suddenly his dark eyes were red to the point where there was no white left, bleeding almost. Before you had a chance to make a sound, his hand was gripping your arm, and you winced as it burned. You tugged on it, but he only tugged you towards him, and you tripped over your feet.

“Enjoy your mortal life while it lasts,” he hissed.

His voice was different, deeper, ominous even, and you shook as his nails dug into your skin. You jerked away from him only to land on your butt, looking up in horror as he began to convulse. You hurried to your feet, taking a few steps back as he looked at you, looking just as he always did with a small smile on his face.

“Ms. Y/L/N… Did you need something?”

You stared at him for a painful amount of time before hesitantly shaking your head. You gripped the strap of your bag before turning away and rushing from the classroom. You had just barely run into Maya.

“Woah! There you are. I was waiting outside for you before I realized you were probably talking to your professor,” she said, steadying you.

Her face fell at the look on yours, and she became worried.

“Y/N?”

“I…”

You didn’t even know what to say. How could you possibly explain what had just happened? It had happened, right? The painful ache on your arm from where he had grabbed you answered that question.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You blinked, focusing your eyes on her as you shook your head.

“N-nothing,” you whispered.

She didn’t look convinced.

“Are you sure?”

You shakily nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Yeah…um. I just…I think I’m gonna go home for the break,” you replied.

Her eyes widened.

“What? Why?”

“I…don’t feel the best. I’m not really up for our plans, and I want to see my parents.”

Maya tilted her head at you, a frown on her beautiful face.

“Y/N…you loathe your parents,” she scoffed with a chuckle.

“That’s not entirely true,” you sheepishly protested.

She crossed her arms over her chest.

“What is going on? I thought you wanted to celebrate your birthday together, and now you want to spend your 21st, of all birthdays, in Greendale? With your overly pious parents? Has Damien gotten to you?”

“Look Maya, whatever is going on with me…it’s taking a toll on me. I’m losing sleep and hallucinating and waking up almost every morning with a fresh set of bruises. Partying down south for my birthday isn’t going to make this go away. I’m just not in the mood,” you explained.

She sighed, eventually nodding in understanding.

“…and while my parents literally give me hives, in some ways they are a source of comfort for me. My old house, my old room…those things are familiar to me, and that’s where I want to be.”

“No, I get it. I do. I just really wanted all of us to celebrate your birthday together. I mean, how many times do you turn 21? It’s one of those ages that’s considered a milestone,” she pouted. “…but if you need help packing, just let me know.”

She pulled you along, and you looked over your shoulder at the closed lecture hall door like it was going to burst open and drag you inside any moment.

Your chest arched upwards, back rising from the surface as fire traveled through you. Hot hands slid up your legs, fingers dancing along your skin like butterflies. A sharp nip at your hip pulled a low moan from within your chest, and you reached out. Your fingers slid through smooth hair, and a low rumble followed soon after.

You wanted to see, but you couldn’t, and you didn’t know why. Had you gone blind? Was something obstructing your vision? Nails dug into the skin of your hip, and you gasped when a lithe form covered your own. You reached out, running your hands down a smooth chest, and a pleased hum filled your ears. The voice that filled your ears was sinful, slinking around you like silk.

“I shall enjoy claiming my prize very much.”

You awoke with a gasp, sweat clinging to your body as your eyes adjusted to the sight before you. Your bedroom door was open, the figure of your mother filling it as she stared at you with wide eyes. You slowly sat up, chest heaving as you gazed at her.

“What is it?” you quietly asked.

She cleared her throat.

“I made you breakfast. I doubt you’ve had a homecooked meal since you’ve been away,” she chuckled, but it sounded…off.

“Thanks. I’ll be down in a little bit.”

She hesitated for a moment before eventually walking away, and you took a moment to gather yourself before standing. You winced as you walked towards the bathroom, reaching up to rub the back of your neck. You barely spared the mirror a glance as you got undressed, turning on the shower before hopping underneath the warm spray of water.

You were starting to remember pieces of your dream, now, and you wondered what on earth could have made you dream of that. You had never been a sexual being. You had thought that you simply weren’t ready when boys showed interest during your high school years. You had written it off to simply being focused on more important things like school.

However, once you’d started college, and no desire to explore had ever arisen, you’d just accepted that maybe it just wasn’t for you. You would have labeled yourself as asexual long ago, but…you did want to have sex. It crossed your mind from time to time, but you’d never come across anyone who sparked that in you. Of course, in high school, that wasn’t surprising because high school boys were a nightmare, but even after getting outside of Greendale and going to college and traveling… You found it very strange that you hadn’t come across a single person who piqued your interest.

So to have an incredibly vivid erotic dream out of nowhere was…odd. If you closed your eyes, you swore you could still feel his skin on yours. Hear his voice…smell him. You frowned, pausing in your cleaning as you realized you did smell him. It was a very distinct smell, like burning cedar mixed with citrus and leather.

Your vision suddenly became hazy, and your hands fell to your side. Your eyes fell closed, and you tilted your head as the faintest of touches brushed along your neck…like butterflies. Steam filled the bathroom, but you paid it no mind as a soft moan slipped from your lips. There was another faint brush along your back, but it was gone just as the sound of your mother’s voice reached you.

“Y/N! Oh my Lord,” she cried as she yanked the curtain back, shutting off the water.

You blinked your eyes open, widening them as she wrapped you in a towel and helped you out of the tub.

“That water was scolding hot! Are you okay?”

You blinked again, slowly looking down to see that the palms of your hands were red from where the water had been hitting them directly.

“Y/N, how on earth did you not burn yourself? I came to check on you when no more hot water was coming out of the kitchen sink,” she continued, running her hands along your face to check your temperature.

“I-I’m fine. I must have lost track of time,” you murmured.

She eyed you with a look you couldn’t place, and you hurried to reassure her again.

“Really, mom, I’m fine. I’ll be right down.”

She hesitated before shakily nodding, leaving you alone. You sighed, turning to face the mirror before freezing in your tracks. Just there, on your breast was a bit of raised skin, almost like a brand. It was small, practically invisible, but you still noticed it. You slowly reached up to run your finger along it before hissing as pain shot through you.

You stared at it in confusion for the longest time before eventually shaking your head and exiting your bathroom to get dressed.

“So how has school been? Have any of your professors given you any trouble?”

You recalled the incident just before break but swallowed it down as you answered your father.

“It’s been great, actually. My grades this semester are nearly perfect,” you answered.

You’d been home for almost a week, now, and it was the first real conversation you were having with your father. Once you’d hit high school and realized how crazy your parents actually were, your relationship with them had soured like milk. Your father more so than your mother. While she had been willing to compromise with your desire for more freedom and leniency, your father was not. If anything, your desire for a somewhat normal life only forced his hand harder. It had nearly driven the two of you to stop speaking for good.

After all, all you wanted was to spend Friday nights with friends instead of reading passages of the bible for hours on end. For once, you wanted to spend a Sunday doing something you enjoyed instead of inside of a church all day. You hadn’t thought that was too much to ask, but apparently you had been wrong.

You fingered your fork, picking at your food before placing it down with a small sigh. Damien’s words were on your mind. They had been for days in fact. Both you and Damien had grown up in similar households, but they couldn’t be more opposite in nature. While your parents were religious freaks who sacrificed any small pleasure in life for God, Damien’s parents were into astrology and the occult and the like.

You’d grown up having the bible beat into your head. Damien grew up watching strangers come in and out of his kitchen during the evening’s for readings and love spells. He watched things like Ghost Adventures and True Crime. In your house, a dream about snakes was a sign from God to pray more. In his house, a dream about snakes meant…he probably wanted a pet snake.

Damien was weird, but you liked him, plus he claimed that he’d experienced some freaky things for himself growing up. Things that solidified whatever he believed in, and you could respect that. It didn’t matter if he experienced those things or not, he believed he did. You, on the other hand, had yet to experience anything. All your life you’d had God and the devil drilled into your brain, and all your life you had yet to witness any sign of either of them…until maybe now.

You did loathe your father, that was true, but you hated to admit that you were somewhat desperate at the moment and would go to him of all people for help.

“Dad…”

“Hmm,” came the familiar response.

“I wanted…to ask your advice on something…”

Your voice was quiet, but it carried nonetheless because you heard your mother stop humming from the living room. Your father looked at you from over his paper for a few seconds before eventually setting it down. You took a deep breath, but you didn’t know why you were so nervous. You knew what they were going to say. You needed to pray more. You needed to read your bible more. They would probably even suggest a short fast to get closer to God.

“I… I’ve been having dreams…nightmares really.”

Your father frowned, and you heard your mom enter the room to stand at the door.

“At least, I think so. That’s what my doctor thinks-.”

“Doctor? Why are you going to a doctor?” your mother asked, coming to stand beside your father, now.

You looked up at her with a sigh.

“For the past couple of months now, I’ve been waking up with bruises and scratches that I can’t explain. My doctor thinks its my own doing due to nightmares that I can’t remember, but… Sometimes they’re in places I can’t even reach. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Your mother’s eyes were wide, both horror and tears filling them as you spoke. You frowned at her before looking at your father, his face grave as he took in your words.

“Well?”

Neither one of them responded, and you watched as your mother put her hand to her chest, a sob escaping her. Your frown deepened, confusion filling you as you got a reaction you were not expecting.

“Mom…?”

She turned away, stumbling into the living room as her sobs reached your ears. You slowly looked to your dad, and he gradually stood, looking as if he was going to be sick.

“What is going on? Please don’t tell me that you think I need an exorcism or-.”

“Y/N…”

You snapped your mouth shut at the sadness in your father’s voice. You had never heard him like that in your life, and you gave him your full attention. Your mother was still crying, and you were starting to grow worried.

“It seems it wasn’t enough. None of it was enough,” he murmured as he turned away.

“Dad, what are you talking about? What wasn’t enough?”

You turned as you suddenly heard your mother coming from down the stairs. You hadn’t even realized she had left. She hurried into the kitchen, dropping a small box in front of you. She was still sobbing, and she took a step back as you carefully reached for the box.

With a shock, you discovered that it was full of pictures. Your parents had told you years ago that there were no childhood pictures of you, but they had clearly lied because here they were. Every single one of them was of you. Some of them were of your parents holding you as a baby, and some were just of you alone. Standing in front of a playground, a school, a mall. As you flipped through them, you realized that they all had one strange thing in common.

Every single picture, whether it was you alone or with your parents, held a shadow. A strange shadow stood behind you in every picture, and you slowly pieced together the shape. A goat. At least, it looked like one. It was much taller than any of you, and the horns curling back from its head were humungous, but all in all, it was the shadow of a goat…man.

“What…? What is this?”

Your father was facing you when you finally looked up, and his eyes were…defeated.

“Your mother and I weren’t always…like this…so pious. 21 years ago…your mother and I were struggling to conceive,” he began.

“I had already been through 3 miscarriages,” your mother softly threw in.

You gasped, eyes widening.

“Mom,” you sadly replied, having no idea of any of this.

“We were at a loss on what to do. We’d been to countless doctors, reproductive clinics, and nothing was working. Eventually…we started to pray. We prayed constantly for a child, and…it seemed as if God was ignoring our pleas,” she continued, tears filling her eyes again.

“We grew desperate,” your father whispered. “We…eventually started to pray to…anyone who would hear us. At last, someone did…hear us. The devil himself.”

You scoffed, a slight chuckle escaping.

“Dad,” you chided, disbelief coloring your tone as you eyed him.

Your face fell at the look on his, brows furrowing as you turned to look at your mom again. She wouldn’t meet your eyes, and despite how ridiculous their words were, something in you knew them to be true.

“Mom…?”

Your own eyes were glassy, now, fear creeping into you.

“We made a deal with him,” you mother softly said. “He vowed to bless us with a baby girl, and he would give us 21 wonderful years with her, but on her 21st birthday…he would come to collect her.”

You abruptly stood, your chair falling back as you did so. You felt like your heart was going to leap from your throat.

“No… No? Y-you’re not making any sense-.”

“We didn’t realize the gravity of what we’d done. We didn’t understand that we had made a deal with Lucifer himself…and that he would come to collect. When you were born, there on your chest, was the tiniest portion of raised skin. If you looked closely enough…you could see that it was three sixes…all lined up,” your father confessed.

You gasped, hand flying up to press against your chest.

“It went away after a few days, but as soon as we could, we tried to have you christened, but… The water burned you. It was hurting you,” your mother cried.

You stumbled back away from them.

“When you were five, we tried again. Only this time we tried baptism, but it was the same thing. The water…it hurt you. So we tried everything. We brought you up in a devout household hoping that it would be enough to undo what we did…enough to save you,” your mother continued.

You continued backing away from them, shaking your head in disbelief, but you knew they were telling the truth. Even if you hadn’t seen the mark for yourself earlier in the week, you knew everything they were saying was true. Everything suddenly made sense.

“How… How could…?”

“We were so young, Y/N. We were young and desperate and didn’t fully understand-.”

“Didn’t fully understand? You made a deal with the devil! What’s not to understand? Oh my God,” you cried, pressing your hands to your forehead as you stared at the kitchen floor. “My birthday…is in two days.”

Your mother reached out towards you, but you slapped her hand away.

“Y/N!”

You ignored her, hurrying up the stairs as you rushed to throw your clothes in your bag. You grabbed your car keys and your coat, rushing back downstairs and passed them, ignoring their calls.

“Y/N, where are you going? You can’t…you can’t run from this. We tried,” your father pleaded with you.

You turned to face him, hand on the doorknob as you glared at him.

“Not only do you sell me off to the devil, but now you expect me to just sit here and let this happen?”

He didn’t respond, and your mother pressed her hand to her mouth, fighting to quiet her cries.

“Y/N,” he whispered.

You took a deep breath, eyeing both of them.

“Maybe you were never meant to have a kid. Did you ever think of that? Did you ever wonder why of all people to answer your prayers for a baby, you got Satan himself?”

They didn’t respond.

“Not everyone is meant to have a child, and that’s okay. You should have accepted that, but instead, now you’ve damned me in the process.”

You turned, slamming the door shut behind you on your way out as you ran to your car.

You rushed down the wet road, racing towards the end of town. You blinked tears away, fighting to see through the pouring rain. You knew that you were going too fast, but a part of you didn’t care. Surely dying would be better than whatever was in store for you. Although you wondered… If you died, would you go straight to him, anyway?

Your hands tightened on the steering wheel, and you once again wondered how your parents could do this. How could anyone be that desperate to have a baby that they’d sell them off on their 21st birthday? So many things suddenly made sense, and you wanted to scream. You suddenly gasped as something ran across the road, and you slammed on the breaks. The car slid and swerved before sliding off the road into a small ditch.

“No,” you screamed as your car came to a halt.

You pressed on the gas, but it didn’t budge, and you only succeeded in digging it deeper into the dirt. You cursed and slammed your hands against the steering wheel before letting out a sob. You looked around, hoping for any way out of this when you screamed in fright.

Just outside of your passenger window was a figure, and as you squinted you realized it was a man. He was waving his hands at you, mouthing something. You cracked the window just a bit, only enough to talk through.

“Would you like me to get help?”

His voice was smooth, and there was a slight accent there, but it was faint. You swallowed, nervous, but you decided that you feared what was after you more than you feared this man.

“I need to get my car out of this ditch. I have to leave here as soon as possible,” you said over the rain.

He nodded and pointed down the street.

“There’s a house not far from here. A woman lives there. I can go use her phone if you’d like,” he suggested.

You quickly opened the door, stepping out of the car, almost falling into the ditch in the process, and nearing him.

“N-no, I can come with you. I can use her phone myself,” you hurried to say.

You didn’t want to be alone, and you looked around, suddenly remembering that something had run across the road, causing you to crash in the first place. You looked back up at him, and he nodded.

“Alright.”

You walked alongside him, relieved when the rain let up. If you were back at school, there was no way you’d walk with some strange man in the middle of the night, but this was Greendale. The only bad thing that ever happened here was deals with the devil, apparently.

As you walked with him, you found yourself eyeing him. He was incredibly handsome, probably the most attractive man you’d ever seen in your life. His dark hair was slightly curly, almost boyish in a way that complimented his sharp features nicely and contrasted against his fair complexion. He was tall, and with a start you noticed how nicely he was dressed.

A nice red silk shirt hugged his frame while equally nice black slacks and shoes covered his lower half. You looked at his hair again, and noticed that it seemed undisturbed by the rain, which was more than you could say for yourself. Upon a closer look, you realized the same was true for his clothes. It was like the rain just slid right off of him. You suddenly blinked, glancing over your shoulder and noticing that your car was the only thing there.

Where did he come from?

You suddenly stopped, and he took three more steps before he stopped too. He turned to face you, tilting his head to the side as he eyed you. His dark eyes were unyielding as he stared you down, and your stomach started to churn.

“Where is your car?”

He raised an eyebrow, the faintest of smirks on his pink lips.

“Car? No, I don’t have one. Never cared for them, really…”

“Then…how did you get here? What were you doing out here?”

His smirk morphed into a smile as he clasped his hands together behind his back.

“Why I was looking for my bride, of course.”

The way he said that struck something in you, and you took a step back.

“You see, a promise was made to me that once she reached a certain age, she would be mine…”

“No,” you whispered with wide eyes, tripping over your feet as you backed up.

“…but I got wind that she was trying to run off before the wedding,” he said with a grin.

You turned and ran, only to run into a chest. You pushed yourself away from him with a scream before darting across the road into the trees. Sticks cracked beneath your feet as you tore through the trees, the darkness around you threatening to trap you for the devil that was on your feet. You hissed when a branch caught the skin of your cheek, tears and rain mixing with your blood.

Something suddenly tripped you, and you landed on your hands and knees. You struggled to stand, sobbing as you did so, but when you did, he was there. You raised your eyes, your gaze connecting with his as you shook your head.

“Your parents could have better prepared you for this, no?” he began as he started to circle you. “They could have brought you up in worship of me. Primed you for this day. It was the perfect opportunity to gift me with the perfect bride.”

“Please,” you begged, mirroring his movements, afraid to take your eyes off of him.

“No, instead they try to fight it, fight the pact they made with me,” he hissed to himself, anger on his beautiful features.

You wanted to be sick.

“I…I have two more days-.”

“Oh, what does that matter when you’ve been promised to me?” he scoffed, stepping towards you.

You took a step back.

“You’ll just spend these next 48 hours trying to come up with a way to get away from me. We both know it,” he whispered.

“I’ll-I’ll do anything. I’ll find you someone else, someone who wants to be your bride-.”

“…and you don’t?”

The boyish smirk was back, and he tilted his head to the side. You frantically shook your head as you took another step back.

“Really? I find that quite amusing…considering you were rather welcoming of my touch the other night.”

Your eyes widened as you registered his words, realizing that it was him all along who’d been in your dreams. A shudder traveled through you, remembering the way that fire had been lit inside of you for the first time in your life. Was he leaving the bruises and scratch marks too?

“Of course, I did,” he answered your mental question, and you gulped. “Consider it to have been a…preview of sorts of what’s to come.”

He took another step forward.

“I…”

“You were tailor made for me, dear. I extinguished all of your desires long ago so that the only touch to please you…would be mine,” he purred, stepping towards you.

You took another stumbling step back, body almost paralyzed with fear. He was only inches away from you, now, and he pouted at you as he reached up to brush his finger along your wet face.

“It would be a shame to let my work go to waste.”

He lightly shoved his hand against your shoulder, and you fell back. Only instead of landing on wet earth, you found yourself landing on a soft bed. You scrambled to sit up, pushing yourself to your knees, and you yelped when you felt him at your back. You turned around, but he wasn’t there.

You looked around the dimly lit room, lit torches lining the space, casting light onto the large dark bed. It was warm, but not overly so. It was the kind of warm that settled within you, heating you up from the inside out rather than the outside in. Tears kissed your eyes as you wondered where you were. Some part of you already knew.

You felt a faint touch on your arm…like butterflies, and you spun around again. You came face to face with nothing.

“Tell me, Y/N…”

His voice was in your ear, and you found yourself paralyzed.

“Haven’t you ever fantasized about the pleasures of the flesh?”

His hands wrapped around your arms, pulling your back into his chest. You could feel the hard planes through your jacket, and you knew that he was bare. You blinked, leaning away from him, but he followed, brushing his nose along your ear.

“Has the complete animalistic carnality of it all ever plagued your thoughts?”

You closed your eyes as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m the only one who could ever fulfill that for you, you know?”

He tilted his head, and his lips brushed against your cheek. Burning cedar filled your nose, and your eyes fluttered.

“It’s because you were made for me in every literal sense of the word. Before you were even conceived, you belonged to me. You bore my mark from the day you were born,” he purred.

He reached up to brush his fingers along said mark, and you lazily wondered when he removed your clothes. You could feel the bare skin of his chest pressing against your equally naked back.

“You are mine, Y/N, and I do not like losing things that belong to me,” he firmly said, gripping your jaw as he turned your head to face him.

You trembled in his arms, and he wiped your tears away.

“Although I suppose I can’t blame you for trying to elude me. Your silly little parents failed you. I suppose I will have to punish them for not properly preparing you for this day, but that can wait…”

He tilted your head back, dragging his lips down the side of your neck. You felt him smirk against your skin as you softly moaned.

“I have all the time in the world for that, but for now…”

He turned you around, brushing his nose against your own.

“I wish to bring my bride to be over the edge again and again and again,” he murmured.

He laid you down, giving you no time to process what was happening as he covered your trembling frame with his own. His lips were suddenly everywhere, leaving a fire in their wake. He reached up to take your hands and place them on his head, fingers tangling through his dark locks as he kissed down your stomach.

He kissed every part of you that he could think of, and a gasp escaped you when he finished by parting your legs and pressing his lips against the most sensitive part of you before crawling up the bed. You pressed your hands against his chest, pushing against him and he pulled back to look down at you with a frown.

“I…”

“How silly of me to think that you’d accepted your fate. After all, you are in my bed, naked, and beneath me. You are simply out of time, my dear,” he said, kissing along your neck.

“Please-.”

You cut yourself off when he gripped your hair, hard, and you winced. His teeth grazed your neck before finding their way to your ear.

“I can be a most doting dark lord and husband…so long as you devote yourself to me in every single way, hmm?” he mockingly said.

He settled himself in between your legs, and you shuddered as you felt his hard length brush against your thigh.

“…but if you fail to do that in any way…daddy will be very, very angry,” he slowly whispered into your ear.

You swallowed, staring at the flames that were now above you.

“Do we have an understanding…my queen?”

You nodded, and his grip tightened, causing you to gasp.

“I like verbal confirmations,” he demanded.

“I understand,” you whispered back.

There was a brief pause before he eventually let go, pressing one hand into the pillow beside your head while the other reached in between you.

“Good,” he purred.

He filled you without warning. You yelped, reaching up to dig your nails into his skin, and he only moaned in response. He froze above you for a moment, basking in the feel of you wrapped around him. He leaned down to softly brush his lips along yours, and your eyes fluttered again, before he pulled back. Your harsh breaths filled the room as you fought to get used to the feel of him.

The sting brought tears to your eyes, and you had no choice but to hold onto him. He hummed into your mouth, rolling his hips into yours as he pinned you to the bed. Every stroke stroked the fire within you, pulling moans and gasps from your lips as you made sense of what was happening to you.

“The next two days shall she be spent like this,” he whispered against your lips. “I will take you a thousand times over until you can hardly move. I’ll completely break you until the mere memory of me inside of you brings you to your knees.”

You moaned into his mouth, his words going straight to your core.

“You will not leave this bed until the day of your birth, and on that day…”

He paused to let out a low moan, dark hair brushing along his forehead.

“On that day you shall become my queen. We will have a grand unholy wedding with every being who matters in attendance to witness the coronation.”

You pressed your nails into his back as the bed rocked with your movements.

“Wouldn’t you like that?”

Afraid to say anything other than words of agreement, you nodded.

“I…I think so,” you panted.

“You think so? No, no,” he murmured. “That won’t do.”

He slowed his thrusts, dragging his cock against your dripping walls in a lazy manner. You threw your head back, lips parting in a silent moan, and he chuckled darkly.

“You’re in hell, now, my dear. You can indulge in anything you could possibly ever want,�� his voice was hypnotizing.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when he leaned down to wrap his lips around a hardened bud. One hand dragged down your stomach to play between the neat patch of curls in between your legs. You jerked underneath him as he pressed his thumb against you.

“You still fear me…as you should but give it time. Soon enough, you’ll come to crave me just as I have craved for you all these years.”

You wrapped your legs around him, and he grinned down at you.

“Yes,” he hissed, the sound echoing around the room like a thousand snakes. “Your parents might have failed to mold you into the perfect bride, but I’ll take my time doing what they didn’t.”

“What…what are you…going to do to them?” you panted, sweat clinging to your skin.

“It shouldn’t concern you, pet,” was his low answer.

“But-.”

“Doesn’t it anger you to know that they just kept you blind, blithely unaware of your fate? Hmm?”

“They-they were scared-.”

You cut yourself off with a moan when he pushed his knees underneath your thighs.

“They were cowards. Idiotic cowards to boot. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about them. You are in my care, now, and I will take good care of you…”

You felt something building low in your stomach, and your eyes widened. You tightened your grip on him as he kept his pace steady, eyes widening even further when his dark gaze suddenly bled to crimson. For a moment, you’d almost forgotten whose bed you were in.

“Such a pretty thing you are when you’re about to cum around me,” his voice was deeper, ominous, and it echoed throughout the room.

Your moans grew louder, legs trembling as you screwed your eyes shut. You felt yourself fall, a ringing in your ears and an inferno roaring within you that had you clenching around him. You felt his eyes on you, watching you as you came undone, and you were not surprised to see a sinister grin when you opened your eyes.

Exhaustion filled you, and you blinked. He tilted his head at you as he tutted, gripping your chin to tilt your head up.

“No, no, my dear. You have all of eternity to rest. My words were true when I said I’m going to break you…”

He gripped your legs, throwing them over his shoulder as his red gaze bore into yours.

“…and I’m just getting started.”

tags: @xoxabs88xox @darkficsyouneveraskedfor @sherrybaby14 @darkficreposter @illbegoinhome @salomewrites @youngmarquis @lovelymoonkiid @villanellevi @harringtonsblackgf @sebabestianstan101

#lucifer morningstar #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer #lucifer x reader #luke cook #Dark Fic #satan #satan x reader #the dark lord #the chilling adventures of sabrina #tcaos

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bookofmirth · 3 years

Note

So uhh, if you've seen the livestreams you'll know how much sjm loves az and how exited she is to write his story. Now, I see many fans saying he's toxic, and though I don't share that opinion, I accept that we all see things differently, but I wanted to say that I don't think sjm is going to make him the bad guy, not a chance. I read a lot of paranormal romance (sjm too) and the guys are usually like this, you know, "horny 24/7 and want to kill all competition", is the trope kinda sexist? Sure but I find it hot and so does sjm, and though this might be an unpopular opinion, i think az is the least possesive of the three brothers, like, if elain told him she wants lucien az would back off, actually he waited like a whole year/two unil elain came to him.

So my point is, sjm is not pulling a tamlin 2.0.

Also, and this is biased, the "elriel is toxic" argument isn't that strong, bc the things most non elriel shippers find toxic are things sjm finds sexy.

I'm rambling, sorry, whatever, I just wanted to put that out there but I 100% believe we all can and should have fun shipping whatever we want-

I just hope sjm works magic and that somehow we're all satisfied with the next couple which I highly doubt hahaha a girl can dream

I agree with some of this stuff, but not all of it. Lemme explain.

I know sjm loves Az, just like she loves Nesta, Eris, Lucien, and Rhysand, etc. They are her characters. Why wouldn’t she? I’m not sure what that has to do with ships or books or anything. She said that Eris is her favorite Autumn Court character, right? And he’s clearly been an asshole. I have OCs, and they all exist for a reason. It’s not about loving them or not.

Elain didn’t come to Azriel, they ran into one another.

She'd waited until everyone was asleep before venturing back down, where she'd leave her gift amongst his other, opened presents, subtle and unnoticed.

And the argument about Az, I’m not going to use the word “toxic” (never have, in fact) because people are throwing it around a lot lately to basically mean “bad” without any underlying understanding of what that looks like in a relationship, romantic or otherwise.

However, I’d like to point out that when I analyze Azriel’s character and what a potential relationship would look like with Elain, I am not arguing that that’s why it wouldn’t be canon. I am explaining why I, personally, do not ship it. Those are different things.

I do agree with you that sjm has written a relationship similar to what I have predicted Az and Elain would be like - feylin. She’s written this before, so I don’t understand how some people fail to see the similarities. Did Tamlin love Feyre? Hell yeah he did. And there was a lot of sexual tension and then straight up sexy times between them. He’s still mourning her two years later.

But was Tamlin in a place where he could have a healthy, supportive relationship with her? Nope. They imploded big time, despite loving one another. That’s what I’m arguing. Other people may frame their analyses differently, but I’m saying that Az is full of rage and jealousy and he just isn’t currently in a place to have a lasting romantic relationship. Jumping into a romantic relationship with someone who requires so much emotional labor, who needs to be constantly reassured that they are good enough, that their touch isn’t “tainting” their lover, etc. it’s exhausting and will ruin a relationship. Take it from someone who knows this personally. (And honestly, this still puts me on the fence about gwynriel. I literally only ship them because it’s what she wants, I don’t actually care about Az in this equation because of this whole paragraph.)

I also think that both characters (Tamlin and Azriel) deserve love. Everyone does. It doesn’t have to be romantic love, though? Which is why I also said in this post from March 12th that I don’t think Azriel will become Tamlin 2.0, which means I also agree with what you said in that regard. Here are the relevant bits of what I wrote:

Tamlin is basically a cautionary tale for Azriel and I don’t see how people can have read this series and not see that. Not see that sjm wrote Azriel in a very specific way in that extra.

Will Az get to the same lonely, dark place that Tamlin has ended up? I doubt it. He has a much better support system than Tamlin, for one. He also is being set up to have an HEA, for another. There isn’t a war on, no Amarantha holding everyone hostage. Their histories and personalities, the people they are surrounded by are different - the way they deal with their emotions and trauma is not.

I think a lot of the disagreements right now are coming from 1) just having different interpretations, and then 2) seeing that other people have those different interpretations and trying to justify why ours are more “right”, even though that’s almost impossible to do. Also I think that we are reading arguments and forgetting where they come from, so groups are getting mushed all together as if they are a hive mind and so then I get stuff like this saying “Azriel won’t turn into Tamlin” and then I have to be like “yah I know I literally said that before”. (No shade on you anon, it’s happened a bunch but this example is right here.)

It’s like saying I prefer feta and the fandom trying to explain to me why brie is better. idgaf, I just like feta. So yes anon, let’s all just have fun! I don’t mind genuine discussion and differences. What would be the point of me posting and everyone just saying “same” all the time?

#acosf #acotar #anti e*riel #antielriel #azriel #tamlin #ask #anon

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citadelspires · 3 years

Text

Been thinking a lot about gender lately (I say as if I am not always thinking about gender) and I have reached a point where it fully has settled in how much the world and everyone in it is so strictly enforcing the binary in a way that just absolutely sucks, and even infects my own way of thinking despite my being a non-binary individual. Honestly I’ve had a lot of personal revelations about how my own thought processes and such have been rewritten by the binary focus, and since thinking about that and finding those points in myself so I can combat those binary focuses I’ve been so much happier with gender related things and my mental health has been better. So this post is being made in hopes someone else finds it helpful too.

The main point of thinking and realization I’ve been doing is how the binary is so strictly enforced by so many people in so many spaces. That’s the biggest issue honestly. LGBTQ+ people might be reading this and be like “oh yeah it’s so annoying how the Straightsᵀᴹ do that” but like. no. I wish I wish LGBTQ+ spaces didn’t do that. But honestly? In both my own personal experiences and in so many of the ways I’ve seen time and time again the LGBTQ+ community, especially on online spaces, reinforce their own version of the binary, the death grip so many queer people and communities have on the binary view of the world is even worse.

There’s a lot of things I want the general world to handle better when it comes to non-binary gender viewpoints. But in the end, all of those desires are quality of life things, I don’t actually care what they think of me. But the queer community is supposed to be the space where inclusion and acceptance is happening. This is the place where I am expecting to have the fact that gender isn’t binary respected, and to have people act like it. And people really like to think that just saying “oh yeah non-binary people are valid” is doing that. There’s so much more to it.

To be honest this obsession with the binary isn’t even limited to hurting non-binary people, if anything they’re not even the ones getting the worst of it. Really paying attention and actually getting into it I feel like queer spaces, especially online, have created our own brand of purity culture. And it fucking sucks. I’m not just throwing around buzzwords there, it’s seriously happening. There’s a hive mentality of like. A girl needs to always be interested in other girls or femmes and no one else. A boy can only be interested in other boys or mascs or no one else. As if there isn’t so many other ways humans can express themselves and their relationships that are just as queer. And sometimes even the people who are willing to admit that those types of queer relationships exist maintain the obsession with Pure Queer kind of, anything less than the “gayest possible option” (a sentiment that already makes me want to throw up) is inherently lesser. Do y’all know how many people this fucks up?

This hurts nonbinary people

This hurts ace people.

This hurts aro people.

This hurts bi people.

This hurts pan people.

This hurts straight trans people.

It’s fucked up.

And even beyond the scope of relationships the obsession with binary reaches all the way into peoples personal identities, which is where my experiences as a non-binary person really show up in this.

The response to coming out as non-binary is consistently (or at least consistently enough to be deeply unsettling) an expectation that you will choose to be transfemme, transmasc, or a literal perfect balance of androgyny.

We have no obligation to base our gender around the only two people are willing to respect.

The non-binary experience is NOT drawing a line between “Male” and “Female” and then picking a spot to land on. The non-binary experience is vast, three-dimensional, and beautiful. We didn’t stop limiting ourselves to one of the binary options just so we could pick from three or four variations. There are countless genders and options and your relationship with your own gender is something no one else has the right to dictate. Regardless of how it makes people feel, non-binary people are allowed to have genders that cannot and should not be forced into an explanation revolving around its relativity to the binary.

It’s insanely frustrating because as much as there is an expectation for amab nb people to become transfemme/androgynous or afab nb people to become transmasc/androgynous as if nb is just Diet mtf/ftm Trans, even people talking about how “we should respect non-binary people who are comfortable aligning closer to their birth gender” (which, Yeah Of Course We Should) leave out the part where Those Aren’t The Only Three Options.

I’ll be honest. I was born male. When I was questioning my gender and settling on non-binary I defaulted to sprinting in the direction of femme because that just felt like what I was supposed to do. And for a while there it was alright, because I had spent so much time perceiving myself as a male that the perception of femme was fine. But eventually it began to weigh on me, and it began to have all of the problems that being male in the first place had.

I did not escape one binary prison just to lock myself in a different one.

I’m not masc. I’m not femme. I don’t owe you androgyny to your desired specifications. I’m non-binary. When it comes to how I’m non-binary and what that looks like. The only one who gets to decide that is me.

For a long time I hated how I looked. I felt this desire, this Need, for my body to look different, to be different. For many trans people (newsflash non-binary people are trans, get used to it) that’s totally a valid thing! It’s okay to not be comfortable in your body. But for me? At least in terms of my prior desire to change aspects of myself, that desire was motivated by a need to “Look More Non-Binary.” That’s the problem. I’m supposed to need and want all this stuff to have my non-binary card be validated or whatever. But honestly? I’ve had a revelation, I actually don’t really mind my body or how I look. I kinda like it actually. I was so focused on the external certainty that “this is what a non-binary person looks like” I wanted to meet these qualifications without ever really thinking about how I personally felt about them.

Here’s the thing.

There is nothing I will ever be able to do in my entire life that will make me look more non-binary. That entire thought process is laughably backwards.

Non-binary is not something I can change myself to look like.

I already am. Nonbinary looks like me.

#citadel speaks #long post #no seriously #my absolute longest post ever #this has been on my mind lately and I just #really needed to get it out there #gender #non-binary #lgbtq+#trans #listen to non-binary people #listen to trans people #listen to every kind of person I mentioned on that list #the amount of times I see people get mad at and shit on bi or pan people who are dating people of the opposite gender #or in any kind of relationship that isn't strictly 'gay'#it's not laughable and its not funny #because it's fucked as all hell

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pegasister60 · 3 years

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A triumphant return can still happen in the pirate au without having to go to canon. Prison break with canons and broadswords and scythes, anyone? Purpled slicing through defenses like putty, Tubbo using rapiers and a longbow to totally ignore Dream’s armor. And if this really is after the whole “you’re a monster” mess with Tommy and Tubbo and Techno, it would certainly be an interesting reunion.

Y’know there’s actually a C plot.

A plot is Tubbo and Purpled kicking ass and taking loot.

B plot is Dream, Tommy, Techno, Phil and Ranboo and all that prison stuff.

C plot comes after the destruction of L’Manberg.

—

(I didn’t bother to comb through this one for typos so just take it as it is.)

—

After Dream’s decimated the nation and won the war. After Quackity has to go into hiding because of the bounty on his head.

The rest of L’Manberg’s people turn to each other in their time or loss and mourning.

It’s when Ghostbur is going through the chests where Tommy left his things that he realizes that Tubbo’s compass is still moving.

In the AU they work like Manhunt compasses instead of just being tied to locations.

Ghostbur realizes that Tubbo is still alive somewhere, missing even after all this. He shows it to Eret who’s the first person he comes across.

Eret rushes to Niki and Fundy and they decide to start a search party. They need something to throw themselves into and searching for a lost friend is exactly what they need.

Initially they’re very underprepared and have to return to the Greater SMP to stock up on supplies after they realize its gonna be a long journey.

They build a carriage and get horses to pull it. They expect to run into Tubbo any day now but the amount of ground he’s covered is surprising.

Eventually they ask around villages and see the wanted posters. Most of the villages they stop in only have Tubbo because he’s the distraction while Purpled sneaks around, so for the longest time they’re fucking baffled at how much he’s done.

They’re not sure how to feel about the fact that Tubbo’s a criminal now.

They know it’s not impossible to catch up because sometimes they’ll pass through abandoned campsites and cabins that must’ve taken time to build. They look like they were lived in.

They look like they were built by Tubbo.

So they keep hope and take supplies from those buildings before continuing on.

Eventually they start closing the gap.

The the food left behind is sometimes still edible. The livestock that were released from their fences haven’t wandered too far yet. The villages they pass through are still in disarray.

Then they catch up.

They catch up to Tubbo by stumbling upon a base built in a flower forest.

The farm is still whole and tended to. The bees haven’t disappeared from their hives. The livestock look happy and healthy and are still in their enclosures.

There’s a large two-story cabin with scaffolding in place of the right side of the roof, still a work-in-progress.

There are dogs in the doghouse that start barking once they spot them.

Fundy and Niki climb out of the carriage and stand behind Eret as someone emerges from the cabin.

It’s not Tubbo.

“What are you doing here?” Purpled asks with a hand on a sheathed sword.

He waves to his dogs and they fall silent.

“We’ve been looking for Tubbo. He disappeared one day and we were worried,” Eret explains.

“How long have you been looking?”

“We’ve been traveling by carriage for three months now.”

“Three months? I’ve been gone longer than that.”

“Yeah but we’re looking for Tubbo-“

Fundy got elbowed by Niki.

“We’re glad to see you’re doing well, Purpled. We’re just really tired and very close to finding Tubbo.”

Purpled didn’t even bother being offended.

“I know where Tubbo is. I can tell you if you tell me why you started looking so late.”

“We told you, we were concerned-”

“If you were that concerned with him being missing you would’ve shown up a month ago. Why are you actually looking?”

“We couldn’t go look-“

“Couldn’t or didnt?”

“There was a war!”

“There’s always a war!”

“Will you tell us where Tubbo is or not?”

“I’ll tell you when you tell me what you want from him!”

“We don’t want anything from him. We just wanna make sure he’s okay!”

“Then I can tell you he’s doing just fine. Thriving, actually.”

“Yeah, but we wanna talk to him.”

“Okay, so you traveled thousands of blocks because you wanted to talk to him. What else?”

“Would you stop being difficult?”

“Would you start being honest?”

“Enough!”

Niki stood between Fundy and Purpled.

“We wanted to make sure Tubbo wasn’t lost and alone out here! We miss Tubbo and we want him to come home with us! We came all this way and I am not going to let whatever this is keep us from seeing our friend!”

Niki was pink in the face from shouting. She couldn’t read Purpled, but he wasn’t arguing with them anymore.

“Is that true?”

They all turned to where Tubbo stepped out from behind the cabin’s door, arms full of blue ingots.

“Do you all really care about me?”

Any frustration Niki felt was replaced with heartbreak.

“Of course we do, Tubbo!”

“Yeah, man!”

“Why wouldn’t we?”

Tubbo dropped the metal he was holding and rushed into Niki’s arms. Fundy was quick to join in with Eret hugging them all.

Purpled watched the group hug and did not join, just smiled and started picking up the cobalt Tubbo dropped.

A cold nose entered his vision and was followed by a tongue that gave him a lick on the cheek. Purpled threw an arm around Dogchamp as the happy reunion unfolded in front of them.

—

“Dream did WHAT?”

Scratch that. Moment over.

Looks like it’s finally time to give the cannon upgrade a field test.

#my post #I speak #I write #I reply #pirate!purpled au #purpled #mcyt purpled #purpled mcyt #Tubbo #the eret #eret #nihaachu #nihachu #Fundy #itsfundy #dream smp #dream smp au #mcyt #minecraft youtubers

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marrys-dream-world · 3 years

Text

lovers alone wear sunlight (chapter eight)

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven

Read on AO3

Notes: Day 20: Escape. @ladrienjune

Ladybug absolutely detested the cold season.

Tikki had warned her, at the beginning of the end of her normal life™ , that she would retain some of the characteristics of the ladybug insect because of her miraculous. It was just September, so she brushed it off easily, mind filled with the electrifying sensation of flying and the rush of falling for the sunshine that occupied the seat in front of her in class. Of course, now during the old drags of Paris’ rainy season, it never left her mind, especially as she was soaked to the bone.

It had just been a drizzle when she left her house, even though Tikki had strongly advised her against it. But Adrien had been upset during the day, eyes cloudy as he looked out of the wind for most of the period. Ms. Bustier, aware of the good student Adrien is, didn’t call him out in favor of asking Marinette to please look at the board and not her classmate. She had turned tomato red and hid behind her book, but didn’t miss the concerned look her teacher sent Adrien and the way she held him back for a few minutes after class, talking in hushed tones in the empty classroom.

At least I won’t die if I fall. Ladybug thought as she threw her yo-yo at the slippery slopes of the buildings. The rain was starting to get even heavier, but she soldiered on as the light of Adrien’s window grew closer and closer.

When she finally reached it, she knocked desperately, precariously perched on the most solid thing she could find. She couldn’t see Adrien through the foggy and drenched glass, so she almost fell forward when he suddenly opened the window. Fortunately, strong arms caught before she could hit the ground.

“Falling for me, my hero?” Adrien said softly, the ghost of a smile pulling on his lips. Just by seeing him, it felt like the rain outside got lighter and the sky wasn’t as grey anymore.

“Can't deny it, handsome.” She said, cuddling against his chest before her eyes snapped wide open. “I got you all wet!”

“It’s just water.” He shrugged it off, squeezing her shoulder. He seemed to do that a lot, whether she was Ladybug or just Marinette. “I’ll get you a towel.”

“Thanks.” Ladybug said, using his distraction to take in the sight of him.

She hadn't imagined his bad disposition at all. Adrien looked frail, shoulders slumped and skin pale. He walked sluggishly to his closet, the small smile he wore whenever she was around leaving his face.

“Is everything okay, Adrien?” Ladybug asked, unwilling to beat around the bush. They cried in each other’s arms too much (a worrying amount, to be honest) for her to hesitate asking.

He turned to her and opened his mouth and then closed it again, frowning and handing her the bigger towel he got. He motioned for her to turn around and after she did, he started to dry her hair gently with a smaller towel he had in hands.

“Today is my mother’s birthday.” He said simply and it knocked her breath away. “My father and I haven’t really been talking these days, you know why. But I thought that since it’s today, we could spend some time together. It’s not like he would let aunt Amelie and Félix come back here after what happened last time.”

Ladybug shuddered as he thought of Adrien’s creepy cousin. She couldn’t believe that she agreed with Gabriel Agreste on something.

“So I asked him if we could spend the day together, watch one of mom’s movies and maybe get her favorite orange cake just to celebrate her, but he…” Adrien laughed wetly. “Let’s just say I wish he just told me a simple no.”

“Oh, Adrien…” She dropped her towel and turned around to hug his shaking form. “It’s okay, you can let it out.”

“I’m just so tired of crying, Ladybug.” He choked out. “It feels like it’s all I’ve been doing lately. It’s not fair, I should be happy.”

“Adrien?” She said hesitantly, taking notice of the hysterical note his voice took.

“I have friends, I’m going to school and I have a wonderful girlfriend. I should be happy. Hell, I should be ecstatic!” His voice slowly grew in volume and she desantagled herself from his arms to look at his glassy eyes. “Why am I not happy?”

Because of your father. She wanted to say. Because Adrien’s weird complex with his model persona? His isolation from his friends? His family drama? It all boiled down to Gabriel and it would be so easy for her to just say it.... But Adrien was too vulnerable right now.

Because of me. She also wanted to say. Because Adrien’s school life wasn’t as enjoyable with Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s avoidance of him and the whole class aware of their forced break up. Alya urged to talk to him everyday, but just the thought of facing Adrien with no mask after everything that happened made her skin break out into hives.

Because of me. She wanted to say even more, emphasize. Because Ladybug, as Adrien’s girlfriend, was absolutely useless. She was someone whose real name and face he didn’t know, who he couldn’t introduce to his friends and family. And if he did? It was doomed anyways. She felt helpless, relying on words when all she wanted was to fix his problems.

She would never say any of that, though, too scared of ruining her relationship with Adrien.

Like you ruined yours with Chat? A malicious voice rang around her head. It sounded like herself.

“It’s all I ever wanted…” He continued, sounding exhausted. “So why am I like this?”

“You don’t have to be happy just because you have those things, you know?” She said gently, taking his hand on hers. “It doesn’t make you ungrateful or anything.”

“I-I guess so.” Adrien admitted, squeezing her hand. “But I’m just tired of being sad, Ladybug.”

An idea popped into her head.

“Then let’s do something about it.” Ladybug looked outside the window and sure enough, the rain had faded away, leaving the cloudy sky. “You know what always cheers me up? A yo-yo ride.”

“Are you saying…?” He said, eyes becoming more focused.

“Do you think your father would notice if you left?”

He snorted. “Definitely not. But what if it rains again?”

“It’s not like we're made of sugar.” She said, opening the window and holding out her hand. “I would never let you fall. Trust me?”

Adrien’s eyes softened. “Always, my love.”

And then they were soaring through the sky. Even though it was barely after five in the afternoon, the sky was dark enough it looked like late at night, so Adrien got the full experience of soaring through the Parisian night lights. Ladybug had a hard time steering them as she could barely keep her eyes away from Adrien’s awed face and shining eyes. They swung between the building for a few minutes before she noticed he was shivering, so they stopped on top of a very familiar building near her parent’s bakery.

Chat’s rooftop for the romantic surprise that day… She shook away those thoughts before they could consume her.

“I should have told you to put on a sweater before we left.” Ladybug told Adrien, hugging his shivering body to her. “I forget how windy it can get and that I don’t feel very cold in the suit and…”

“Hey, it’s okay, my hero.” He said, sounding a lot more chirpy than before. “I got so excited that I forgot, too.”

“Well, at least I can warm you up like this.” She said, tightening her arms and he hummed happily.

“Maybe that was my plan all along.” Adrien teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You only had to ask, handsome.” Ladybug answered, enjoying the flush it brought to his face. “So, did you enjoy it?”

“Enjoy it? I loved it! It felt so… different.” His smile was brighter than the lights around them.

“Good. You deserve to have nice things.” She said, rubbing his back. “Look, I can’t solve all your problems, no matter how much I want to. But if I can give you anything in my reach, please tell me.”

“You already do more than enough, my love.” And he truly believed that, from the way he looked at her. “I just get overwhelmed, sometimes. I feel like I’m in such a better place than I was last year, so I shouldn’t be so… ungrateful.”

“You’re not ungrateful, Adrien.” She repeated her words from their previous conversation. “It’s okay to be sad.”

“I know that, objectively, but it doesn’t feel like that.” Adrien sighed, looking up from the girl in his arms to the sky. “Uh… Ladybug?”

“Yeah?”

“I think it’s going to-” Before he could finish, it started to rain once again, heavily.

Ladybug spluttered and Adrien, already looking soaked, laughed at the ridiculous situation. She quickly contemplated her options, holding back from just grabbing Adrien and taking him to her balcony so they could hide in her room. Instead, she did what she always did when she didn’t know what to do.

“Lucky Charm!” She shouted, magic flaring up around her and changing her suit to its new form. An open umbrella fell into her hands and she put it over their heads, even if they were already too wet for it to be useful.

“Wow.” Adrien said, eyes shining. “I haven’t been able to see it so close yet. Especially since you’re not, you know, in battle.”

“I’m still getting used to this transformation after transformation stuff.” She said, trying to steady the umbrella against the strong wind. “What do you think of the new suit?”

“I think it suits you.” He said and laughed when she rolled her eyes. “Thanks for lucky charming this umbrella. Think I can keep it?”

“Dunno, never tried to keep a lucky charm. But why? Can’t even buy an umbrella, rich boy?”

“I did have you. It was my mother’s, but it’s safe with a friend. A good one.” His gaze turned melancholic as it slid to the balcony on the top of Tom&Sabine’s.

She was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to tell him. Tell him she has his umbrella, that it meant so much more to her than he could ever think, that there has never been anyone else for her, that her coming to visit him was as much for her sake as it was for his, that she wanted to hold his hand in class, that she wanted to go on double dates with Nino and Alya, that she wanted his father to suck it if he disapproved.That she’s Marinette Dupain-Cheng and she’s irrevocably in love with Adrien Agreste.

But she can’t. And didn’t that hurt?

“I’m glad you have good friends, Adrien.” She said, burying her head on his chest so he wouldn’t see the guilt in her eyes.

“I’m glad, too.” He murmured back, unaware of how her chest was caving in under the weight of so much emotion.

They stayed under the umbrella until the heavy rain wore down. When Marinette woke up with a light fever and a sore throat the next day and her doting mother called the school to say she wouldn’t show up, she only had one thought on her mind.

I want to tell Adrien who I am.

#ladrienjune #ladrienjune2021 #ladrien #ladybug #adrien agreste #ml fic #my stuff #lovers alone wear sunlight

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