#bless these old gay robots.........................

[magistralucis]

what have i done 😂

#trazyn the infinite #warhammer 40k #warhammer 40000 #necron #necrons #props to my fiance for actually indulging this request 🤣💖 it's not a perfect or a complete print yet but i love it sm #(a bit of his staff broke off during cleaning but it can be greenstuffed no biggie) #it's only been a few days and now i'm... i'm committed to this dude somehow. gotta figure out how to paint him #and i don't know shit about object source lighting so i guess i better start learning fast!!!!!! djbfhffgfhgh #bless these old gay robots.........................

[pikp0kcas3]

The Hazbin Hotel fandom’s issue with accepting aromanticism and asexuality

Now that it is officially Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I want to talk about this!

I find that, as an aroace myself, I am constantly grasping at good representation and coming up empty— it usually ends up in one of two ways.

One: the character is portrayed as emotionless, cold, and robotic in nature. It’s the question aromantic and/or asexual people are often asked: “Are you heartless?” The answer is no, of course, but general media makes it out to be the opposite.

Or two: Their lack of attraction is seen as something to “fix” because they “haven’t found the right one yet”, and they end up with a partner as a “happy ending”.

It frustrates me greatly because of how little people actually see aromanticism or asexuality as a true part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

So when I watched Hazbin Hotel, and I found out about Alastor being aroace, I was over the moon. I was on cloud nine. I also saw how his voice actor has looked up the term as an attempt to learn about aroaces, which makes me OVERJOYED?? Amir is truly a blessing, and I love that he’s proud to embody a character that’s part of our community. It’s so beautiful to finally have a proper character, a fan favorite at that, who just so happens to be aroace— and that’s another thing I love about this.

It’s never explicitly stated in the show (though it is stated in interviews), but it’s rather clear when you’re watching, isn’t it? Alastor’s aversion to any sort of sexual advancement, coupled with Rosie’s blatant “I know you’re an ace in the hole” comment sort of spell out his asexuality pretty clearly, as well as what side of the spectrum he falls upon. In addition, his Valentine’s day card was strictly platonic, which caters to his aromantic side. It feels so validating to finally be represented, to finally have a character in media who shares the same lack of interest in romance and sex as I do.

When I entered the fandom to look for more content, I kind of expected to see the same respect for Alastor’s orientation there too. But that… wasn’t the case? I am fully aware that aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums— of course, aromantic and/or asexual people can enter those kinds of relationships. I’m not denying that and they belong in the community as much as anyone else on the spectrum.

But, the more I see the same line again and again and again, the more it feels like an excuse to just ship what you want.

Usually I don’t mind shipping? I’m often a firm believer in people shipping what they like as long as it’s harmless and they don’t go crazy over it. I also know for a fact that Viv doesn’t have a problem with people shipping her characters. They are fictional, after all.

But in this case, people are ignoring the very thing that makes Alastor a part of the aroace community! People are ignoring his lack of romantic or sexual attraction!

Is this not the same as changing a gay character’s orientation to suit a straight ship? If not, how so? I’m told that we are a part of this community, so why aren’t we being treated like it? Why is it so hard to accept the people on the end of the spectrum who aren’t interested?

Something I’ve been noticing throughout my life is that society has not exactly progressed very much on the idea of accepting asexual or aromantic identities. Maybe we have, a little, since the old days— but hell, people in “the old days”, which in truth wasn’t very long ago, believed that asexuality was a medical condition to be “fixed” by taking the right medication or having sex. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. And on the romance side, you’re seen as a “late bloomer” or “boring” if you don’t express interest. These days, being friends with someone is treated like a gateway to them possibly becoming a lover. Not getting married, not going on dates, not wanting a partner— it’s all treated like a crime when it’s not.

Maybe I’m selfish, or sensitive, or I’m butthurt over nothing, or I’m making it all about me. Maybe I’m gatekeeping or whatever the term is. But please, please, please, I just want an aroace character like me who simply is not interested in sex or romance.

And I want fandom to respect that. I admire the creations that fans make— the art, the animatics, the writing and the character analysis. And I want people to keep creating because creation is indeed a beautiful thing.

But I really would like people to treat aroace identities like they’re important. Like it’s more than just a spectrum to get wiggle room to wrangle in another ship.

#aromantism #aromantic #aroace #asexual #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #lgbtqia #alastor aroace #PLEASE i just want people to LEAVE HIM ALONE #“but it’s a spectrum” STOP USING IT AS AN EXCUSE #RESPECT AROACE PEOPLE WITH ZERO INTEREST IN ROMACE AND SEX #let us have this #we barely get anything as it is #but just to clarify i don’t believe that most people are being intentionally rude about it #nor am i discouraging people from creating fan content because it is FAN CONTENT and you can express yourself #i just would like people to understand a little more that #yes it is a spectrum and it covers an extremely wide range of orientations #yes ANYONE who identities as someone on the spectrum is completely valid #if you wanna argue with that i am showing you the door and kicking your sorry aphobic ass out #my point is that the spectrum is not a loophole. it is not an excuse and it is NOT okay to just use it willy nilly for your convenience

[creacherkeeper]

lost township characters! <3

to give folks a little more idea what were talking about when we say insane things on here <3

lost township is a 5e homegame taking place in a 1880s wild west equivalent dnd world, mostly in the small town of lost in the state of undersun

pcs:

cass bluebell - she/her. human drunken master monk. local extremely repressed middle aged lesbian who inherited the local saloon from her late mother who she had a Totally Healthy relationship with. spent years investigating her mother's murder at the hands of the brownbird. has an adopted 6 year old son named davey. played by @strangetorpedos

divine intervention shook - she/her. aasimar eloquence bard. former southern belle, current poor schoolteacher. has been described as a cat so confident she can scare off bears. likes sticking her nose where it doesnt belong (affectionate) and bestiefying middle aged people. played by @beatricexbenedick

flint monroe - he/him. fire genasi divination wizard. main personality trait is that he is 12 and we love that for him. orphan being cared for by the shook family. has a giant crush on maeve and a (somewhat joking) rivalry with will. too smart for his own good and has a pet robot mouse named sparky. played by @agentcalliope

maeve marigold - she/her. ??? swashbuckler rogue / hexblade warlock. former sex worker, current psychopomp in training of the raven queen. accepted the role of psychopomp and then afterwards asked what that word meant as she is illiterate and still learning a lot from divine. says literally the most buckwild shit at all times. played by kaity

morel - they/them. firbolg spores druid / knowledge cleric. the biggest awkwardest sad cow that did ever. lives in a hut in the woods and offers healing for the most rejected of society. a chosen prophet of the god of decay. in a former emotional affair with cat clyde, kidnapping victim, now just bein real gay w her on main <3 played by @floralprintshark

will orville - he/him. human werewolf gunslinger fighter. half badass cowboy, half sad tired middle aged man who desperately needs a drink (preferably water sorry will). was traveling around being sad and doing vigilante justice, has been bestiefied and adopted and is ALSO now gaying it up on main. has a late husband named levi and a horse named romulus. played by @weightedlive

npcs:

cat clyde - she/her. orc. formerly the wife of bobby clyde, murder victim of the brownbird. actually hired the brownbird to kill her husband cause fuck that guy. currently bein real cute with morel. shy, nervous, loving, and attentive. mother of morgan eve "kitten" clyde, excitable 7 year old half-orc

lizzie no - she/her. human/coyote shifter crown paladin. the sheriff in town, afflicted heavily by messy bitch disease. unfortunately very in love with divine which finally got discovered after her hiding it for like 7 years. seemed like an uncaring/incompetent sheriff for not solving murders, secretly sleeping with the white hat assassin doing them

brandi carlile "the brownbird" - she/he. aasimar vengeance paladin / wild card rogue / arcane archer fighter. the white hat assassin in question. slutty lesbian who will flirt with anything that moves (including will, known gay man). aasimar of the evil god of chaos, death, and alcohol. just looking for a good time. in love with lizzie </3 the party did fight her and they nearly all killed each other but she has been Bestiefied. can summon ghosts, as a treat

sarah shook - she/they. human. wife of divine, adhd as all fuck, life of the party, loves being a stay at home wife and doing gardening and cooking and playing her guitar. assumed that divine knew she was poly and gave lizzie her blessing and also a shovel talk and then afterwards had to explain to divine what poly meant

"hawk" shook - he/him. human artificer. brother of sarah and brother-in-law of divine. an absolute mess but trying his best. has had unfortunately messy hook ups with most of the men in town. cant hold down a job but just started working for cass at the saloon. almost got arrested by lizzie for selling snake oil. doesnt know he's an artificer

latrowe - he/him. coyote psychopomp. formerly Just A Coyote, granted humanoid form and intelligence in a godly lovers exchange in order to be the psychopomp of the raven queen. currently training maeve. very formal and polite unless he's scampering up walls or eating out of your garden. flint accidentally got him bound to the mortal plane by giving him a nat 1 on a spell save with a portent roll. mostly just wants to be a coyote again. forgets that its impolite to read peoples minds

waylon jennings - he/him. current zombie, former ???. rich old gay dandy. kind of a major bitch. the benefactor who funds most of the town. adoptive father of lizzie, scruggs, and kelsey. tried to convince will to murder brandi for Reasons <3

earl scruggs - he/him. orc ?? barbarian. waylon's bodyguard and adopted son. big buff bear with a lot of tattoos. managed to romance will and short circuit leo's brain for two full minutes <33 immigrant from vilayav, so speaks in a thick russian accent. no thats not his real name <3

kelsey wilson - they/them. ?????. waylon's assistant and adopted child who has been with him since they were very young. doesn't talk to people outside the family much

major gods:

ama & ata - she/her and he/him. bear mother and bison father. gods of fire and food respectively, and families, caregivers, and the home. divine and sarah are followers

kathairein - they/them. vulture god of decay, disease, fungi, and scavengers. partners with the raven queen. morel is one of their chosen prophets

the raven queen - she/her. raven god of the transition of life and death, knowledge, divination, and the moon. in charge of the realm of the dead. latrowe and maeve are her psychopomps

sidewinder - he/him. rattlesnake god of protection, safety, medicine, and the sun. will's late husband levi was a follower, and lizzie is one of his paladins

the jack - no pronouns. jackalope god of death, wiles, trickery, survival, and alcohol. the only god in the pantheon to have an alignment (chaotic evil). brandi is an aasimar of the jack

#lost township #its blorbo time babeyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #bea did one of these for lensa and i wanted to do one for lost <3 #and yes all the npcs are named after musical artists look i thought it was going to be a short shot so it was much more sustainable then #im having fun w it tho

[fantomcomics]

What's Out This Week? 8/16

too hot to write witty sentence

The Approach TP - Jeremy Haun, Jason A. Hurley & Jesus Hervas

When airport employees Mac and Abigail find themselves snowed in after a blizzard, they witness a terrible plane crash-one that's been missing for 27 years! But it's not the sky that deserves dread, but what lies beyond it.

Mac, Abi, and the remaining airport crew feel helpless to stop the rampage of a supernatural predatory stowaway. But with the blizzard continuing to rage and the creature nesting in the airport, how will the stranded people survive?

Billie Blaster & The Robot Army From Outer Space HC - Laini Taylor & Jim Di Bartolo

Don't you hate it when your archenemy launches your latest invention into space, accidentally creating a robot army that falls into the clutches of an evil alien emperor? Well, that's how Billie Blaster's day is going! The genius child of two famous scientists, Billie is an inventor extraordinaire and the star of the annual science fair, much to the disgust of her nemesis, Tiny Hector Glum. But now their rivalry has gone too far, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance. Can Billie prevent an intergalactic war that's kind of totally her fault? With her pet goat, Lucy, a giant robot head, and a toilet weasel from a distant planet, she might just stand a chance. Join them on their perilous adventure, in a spaceship without a bathroom.

Blessed Curse SC - Mario Cesar

Ever since he was a boy growing up in Brazil, all Acacio wanted was to please his parents: get good grades in school, meet a nice girl, stop being so... gay. Mário César's multi-award-winning graphic novel explores the horrific application of Conversion Therapy and what it's like to grow up gay in Brazil. This is not an easy read. But to prevent Conversion Therapy from continuing to be applied, it's a necessary one.

Born Sexy Tomorrow GN Vol 1 - VVBG

Join Blaze Galaxy and J-450n as they pew-pew their way through the galaxy, dancing in cantinas, warring with stars, battling galacticas, and fleeing from Blaze's crippling emotional problems at the speed of light. Blaze Galaxy, a reckless renegade spaceman rogue, lives by his own rules. Fighting, feasting, fostering human-alien relationships from planet to planet, he fears nothing... except commitment. His current mission: to save the human race from certain extinction (again). Just another Wednesday, really. Until he accidentally awakens J-450n, an (adorable) assassin cyborg created by a race of perverted aliens, whose prime objective is to eliminate human life. Only J-450n's been programmed to imprint upon the first living being that he sees...

Buzzing GN - Samuel Sattin & Rye Hickman

Isaac Itkin can't get away from his thoughts. As a lonely twelve-year-old kid with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), everything from studying to looking in the mirror becomes a battle between him and a swarm of unhelpful thoughts. The strict therapy his mother insists on doesn't seem to be working, but when a group of friends invites him to join their after-school role-playing game, the thoughts feel a little less loud, and the world feels a little brighter. But Isaac's therapist says that exposure to games can have negative effects on kids with OCD, and when his grades slip, his helicopter mother won't let him play anymore. Now Isaac needs to find a way to prove to himself, to his mother, and to the world that the way to quiet the noise in his head may have been inside him all along.

Chilling Adventures Presents: Strang Science One-Shot - Magdalene Visaggio & Butch K. Mapa

Danni Malloy is Jinx Holliday's best friend, and where one goes, the other is sure to follow... even if that means through hell and back and forth through the depths of space and time. When Danni receives a mysterious message from former friend Dilton Doiley, Danni is horrified to learn that he's built a time machine and it's gone terribly wrong-and now the three of them have been transported to warped version of Riverdale, where nothing seems quite right. It's up to Danni to set things right and bring them back to the present day, and the hometown they know and love... and she might have to explain a thing or two to Jinx about what's going on, too! Strange Science explores Danni's personal history, time travel, and the importance of being to be true to yourself and what matters most to you.

Disney Villains: Hades #1 - Elliott Kalan, Alessandro Ranaldi & Karen Darboe

FROM THE CLASSIC DISNEY FILM HERCULES - THE LORD OF THE UNDERWORLD FINALLY TAKES CENTER STAGE!

Hades - the lord of darkness! The most deceitful and scheming of the Greek gods!

The one god not invited to the weekly brunch at Mount Olympus!

Obviously, a slight like this calls for the total destruction of the gods of Olympus. To make that happen, the hot-tempered ruler of the underworld needs to acquire the magical Golden Fleece of Colchis. Unfortunately, the Fleece is guarded by a sleepless dragon and soldiers made out of teeth, so Hades assembles a ragtag group of morally questionable adventurers to help him steal the Fleece before some dude named Jason and his Argonaut bros swoop in and ruin his perfectly logical plan.

Dwellings #1 (of 3) - Jay Stephens

SHOCK! TERROR! FUN! SATURDAY MORNING MEETS THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT IN AN ALL-NEW, BI-MONTHLY LIMITED SERIES PRESENTED IN PRESTIGE FORMAT, 72-PAGE CHAPTERS WITH TWO COMPLETE TALES IN EACH ISSUE!

Welcome to Elwich - an oasis of American perfection, where the schools overflow with cheery-eyed children, lovingly adorned homes line the historic boulevards ... and only the crows can see the deep, festering rot that lurks beneath the pristine surface. Murder. Demonology. Possession. Obsession. Elwich has them all on offer-and behind every DWELLING awaits a horrifying new story to be told!

Dying Light GN - Fred Van Lente & Adam Markiewicz

With a lengthy original graphic novel tale serving as a prequel to Dying Light 2 and bonus behind the scenes content from the smash hit video game, Dying Light: Night Generation is an essential companion for fans of the franchise.

Set right before the start of the new game, and 15 years following the events of Dying Light, the story stars orphans Daud and Aisha. They were just children when the Harran Virus outbreak struck the world, and have known nothing other than the plague for their entire lives. Evacuated and found by Berg, they were trained to become Night Runners, to work together and steal for him as his influence grows among the Survivors. Reaching young adulthood, Daud and Aisha are finally sick of living under his thumb, hatching plans to run away together. When the secrets are discovered, Berg sells off Aisha to a rival. Forcing Daud on a harrowing journey to rescue his love, through the deadly Volatiles and utilizing the game's signature parkour.

Eiji and Shiro: From Zeroes to Heroes GN Vol 1 - Kaya Azuma

A collection of fantasy and supernatural shorts with a heavy comedic tone from one of the Boys Love world's most infamous comedic writers. Mobuyama "Eiji" A-Ji and Mobuyama "Shiro" C-ro have lived their entire lives as nothing more than "extras" to other people's stories. It can't end like this, right? There must be a way out! Both sharing a common goal will try anything that allows them to change their destiny. Anything.

The First Adventure Of Sherlock Holmes: A Study In Scarlet HC - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & Vincent Mallie

London, 1878. Poor Dr Watson returns from India completely penniless and on the verge of despair when he meets Sherlock Holmes, a whimsical guy who also happens to be looking for a roommate. The pair move into 221 Baker Street when one of Scotland Yard's top sleuths enlists the talented Detective Holmes to help solve a dark murder case. Together, Watson and Holmes will lead the investigation and cement a partnership that will last for years to come.

Flung Out Of Space: Inspired By The Indecent Adventures Of Patricia Highsmith GN - Grace Ellis, Hannah Templer, & Joan Schenkar

Flung Out of Space is both a love letter to the essential lesbian novel, The Price of Salt, and an examination of its notorious author, Patricia Highsmith. Veteran comics creators Grace Ellis and Hannah Templer have teamed up to tell this story through Highsmith's eyes, reimagining the events that inspired her to write the story that would become a foundational piece of queer literature. Flung Out of Space opens with Pat begrudgingly writing low-brow comics. A drinker, a smoker, and a hater of life, Pat knows she can do better. Her brain churns with images of the great novel she could and should be writing - what will eventually be Strangers on a Train.

The Girl Who Became A Fish GN - Osamu Dazai & Nekosuke

Another spectacular collaboration from the Maiden's Bookshelf series, this dark and intense fable by the great giant of postward literature is brought to vivid life by contemporary master Nekosuke. Suwa, a charcoal burner's daughter, lives together with her father in a small village at a foot of a mountain so remote it doesn't even appear on maps. Slowly she comes to realize the dark futility of her life, leading to a strange and elliptical transformation... Dazai depicts the adolescent awakening to death and the desire to escape through this quiet and ominous tale.

Heart Gear GN Vol 1 - Tsuyoshi Takak

After Roue accidentally activates Chrome without a base program, what's essentially his soul, she and Uncle Zett invite him into their makeshift family and encourage him to choose his own purpose. But when an insane machine attacks their home, will Chrome survive, much less find his purpose?

Land Of The Living Gods TP - Isaac Mogajane & Santtos

It is said that when the world dies, the spirits of the first people will return to witness the last days of humanity. Well, the spirits have arrived, and the end is here. But not everyone has given up hope.

Naledi, a teenage girl living in the deserted city once called Johannesburg, has always believed that there is a land hidden away in time where the gods still live. And where there are gods, there are miracles. Perhaps even miracles that are big enough to save our dying planet. And so, after a lifetime of isolation, Naledi will head out into the unknown with little to hold onto but her faith - and her magical pet plant, Buyo.

Pen & Ink: The Many Deaths Of Laila Starr #1 - V. Ram & Filipe Andrade

BOOM! Studios is proud to present the next installment of PEN & INK: a deluxe art-focused format featuring stunning black and white interior artwork with artist commentary.

Experience the first issue of the Eisner, Harvey, and Ringo Award-nominated The Many Deaths of Laila Starr in a whole new light, with exclusive notes and annotations from artist Filipe Andrade.

Rakuda Laughs GN - Katsuya Terada

New father and troubled yakuza Rakuda gets a call from his colleagues tasking him to dispose of a random body. The job is fishy, but when you are a gangster sometimes you have to just do what you're told. But in this case, who gave him the job is the problem. A young hustler named Amazaki has tasked him to take care of a corpse without any info on who the body is and how to get rid of it. Turns out the body belongs to their gang lord... Now the gang and the cops are after Rakuda. And with danger around every corner, there are now very few moments for jokes in Rakuda's world.

Rare Flavors: Tasting Ashcan #1 - V. Ram & Filipe Andrade

The Eisner, Harvey, and Ringo Award-nominated team of Ram V and Filipe Andrade make their celebrated return, and you can get a first taste in this exclusive ashcan edition!

Tantalize your senses with this amuse bouche introducing this creative duo's next masterpiece marrying the supernatural, Indian cuisine, and the cutthroat world of chef-driven celebrity in what will be the most talked about new comic of 2023!

This ashcan will be strictly limited to its first printing, never to be printed again!

Red Zone TP - Cullen Bunn, Mike Deodato & Lee Loughridge

Called in by the U.S. government for a secret international mission to Russia, unassuming American professor of Russian and Slavic Studies at NYU Randall Crane finds his history in the Soviet Union begin to thaw and reveal itself. When the team of commandos sent to protect him end up dead, Randall finds himself forced to fight his way out of the former U.S.S.R. using skills he thought he'd left dead and buried in the cold, hard streets of the Mother Russia a lifetime ago.

The Sea In You GN - Jessi Sheron

A whimsical dark fantasy retelling of "The Little Mermaid," The Sea In You upends everything you thought you knew about magical creatures of the deep, on a whirlwind journey to a whole new world you've only dreamed of before! 15-year-old Corinth was just trying to clean up the beach; she never expected to meet a mermaid, let alone be nearly drowned by one. It was the start of a very strange friendship! After Skylla, the deadly fanged mermaid, mysteriously lets Corinth live, they grow closer through a cautious exchange of stories, gifts, jokes, and sign language. Mermaids, it turns out, eat people, but however terrifying Skylla may look, she's a little younger, a little smaller, and perhaps a little too soft for all that. Bewitched by Corinth and their growing bond, she learns about all the best things in life on land: books, burgers, donuts, and this strange chattering human sound called laughter. But a storm is brewing-both at sea and in Corinth's increasingly dangerous relationship with her obsessively jealous boyfriend-and a magical bargain may be the only thing that can save her, at a tremendous cost.

Sparks & The Fallen Star GN - Lyndon White

The stars are going out. Night never ends and while others only wonder, Sparks, the bravest little robot, sets out to discover the reason why. Enjoy this beautiful tale about friendship and overcoming adversity.

Specs TP - David M. Booher & Chris Shehan

Small town. Ohio, 1986. All Kenny and Ted want is to not feel like outcasts. What happens when a pair of X-ray glasses mysteriously appear? The magic specs open a world of possibilities for these misfit teens through the granting of literal wishes! Things start out innocent, but when they wish that their bully would disappear, things take a cursed turn, with far darker consequences than they thought possible...

Tabegirl: Art Of Jun SC - JUN

Powerfully cute! Jun's TabeGirls are the embodiment of what makes Japanese character designs so beloved, as they capture young ladies at their purest... while chowing down on scrumptious eats! Collecting nearly one-hundred full-color portraits from Jun's growing collection of web-illustrations, comics and promotional art, fans of the artist will have plenty tasty images to sink their teeth into.

The Cull #1 (of 5) - Kelly Thompson& Mattia De Iulis

Something is Killing the Children horror vibes mix with The Goonies-style adventure as five friends set off to shoot a short film on a forbidden rock near their home the summer before they all go their separate ways. But that's not really why they're there. One of them has lied. And that lie will change their lives forever.

Those Who Helped Us GN - Ken Mochizuki & Kiku Hughes

Basketball-loving Sumiko Tanaka, then 11, narrates this graphic novel about the World War II incarceration of Japanese Americans. Through her eyes, we watch as her family is forced from their home and subjected to indiscriminate racism as they are shipped off to the concentration camp called Minidoka in Idaho. But Sumiko and her 17-year-old sister Yuri also see acts of charity and solidarity from their non-Japanese neighbors and friends in the Seattle area that make them hopeful for the future. As the young girls struggle with the horrors of being imprisoned in the dusty desert, they also find solace in the fact that some people chose to help.

Ultralazer TP - Pauline Giraud, Maxence Henry & Yvan Duque

The people of the planet Topoy live in peace, surrounded by lush nature and magical, infinite resources. But the King of Beasts, who maintains balance on this world, is in danger. His protectors, Horb and Booko, will need to set off on a long journey if they want to save their planet...

On planet Topoy, everything has been peaceful for a long long time. People and magical creatures have been living in peace for generations. But danger came from space! The buzzards attacked and changed Topoy forever. Do they want the planet's natural resources? Yes. But they also want the King of Beasts, the supreme being that ties everything on this world.

Enter Horb and Booko, two protectors and servants of the King. They can't let their planet plundered! Their only hope? An ancient legend: the Ultralazer! Forgotten by many, this power could unleash the power they need to save the planet.

Washington's Gay General: The Legends & Loves Of Baron Von Steuben HC - Josh Trujillo & Levi Hastings

This graphic novel biography tells the true story of one of the most important, but largely forgotten, military leaders of the American Revolution, Baron Wilhelm Von Steuben, who brought much-needed knowledge to the inexperienced and ill-prepared Continental Army. As its first Inspector General, Von Steuben created an organizational framework for the US military, which included writing the Blue Book guide that became the standard for training American soldiers for more than a century. Beginning with Von Steuben's career in the Prussian Army, Trujillo explores his recruitment by Benjamin Franklin, his work alongside General George Washington at the Battle of Valley Forge, and his eventual decline into obscurity. In Washington's Gay General, Trujillo and Hastings impart both the intricacies of queer history and the importance of telling stories that highlight queer experiences.

Whatcha scooping up this week, Fantom Fam?

#wotw #what's out this week? #comic books #comics #comic book #comic #manga #Washington's Gay General #Ultralazer #Those Who Helped Us #The Cull #Tabegirl #Specs #Sparks And The Fallen Star #The Sea In You #Red Zone #Rare Flavors #Rakuda Laughs #The Many Deaths Of Laila Starr #Land Of The Living Gods #Heart Gear #The Girl Who Became A Fish #Flung Out Of Space #The First Adventure Of Sherlock Holmes: A Study In Scarlet #Eiji and Shiro: From Zeroes to Heroes #Dying Light #Dwellings #Disney Villains: Hades #Chilling Adventures Presents #Buzzing

[loracarol]

Friend invited me to go see Lightyear the other day; spoilery thoughts under the cut in no particular order.

I will say, I probably turned to my friend and whispered, "I Would Die For Sox", three or four times? (The theater was pretty empty and there was no one around us.)

I liked it. Probably won't go to see it in theaters again, but I liked it.

The music was lovely.

Chris Evens was lovely.

BUZZ LIGHTYEAR IS A GIANT FUCKING NERD LMAO

NEEEEEEEEERD

The puppy dog eyes lmao

He would have gone along with the new management until they tried to kill decommission his robot cat lmao

The newbie team!! I loved all of them!! Especially that old lady on parole.

Taika Waititi's character.... Can you imagine though, if your nerd, accountant friend/boyfriend/husband/whatever went on a fun scouting weekend thingy, and then aliens attacked while he was outside of the safety bubble and you think he's probably dead but you hope not but you're pretty and then the bad guy is defeated and everyone is safe and your nerd shows up and is like, "oh actually I helped!! with a pen!! and now I'm joining fictional NASA to be a space ranger." Like???

Bless him

I'm not an animation person, but I thought that the hair on the Black characters was well done? Like, texture wise, and it looked, to me, like the light reflection was done correctly for the hair texture.

Izzy is wonderful and I loved her. I would watch a sequel movie just about her tbh.

I get why they didn't do the whole "Zurg is Lightyear's father" thing like from Toy Story 2; in that movie it felt like an obvious Star Wars joke. In the Toy Story universe, Star Wars had been out for ~20 years, and out of it it's been out for over 40? Years? If they played that straight either in or out of universe, it would feel less like a funny joke and more like a blatant rip-off.

As for the lesbian character

Is this Bury Your Gays? On one hand, she does die relatively early into the movie, but that's due to time dilation shenanigans; in universe she dies at like, 70 or 80 with a loving family, a kid and a grand kid. Buzz is the one that misses her life due to time dilation, she's still there living it.

Anyone mad about it for homophobic reasons.... You're fucking stupid

Basically, Buzz keeps trying to fix his mistake which involves doing a bunch of experimental space flights that mess with time dilation and he refuses to give up; we see time going by by him seeing Alisha and her wife's lives change - once when he comes back, they're engaged, once married, once pregnant, once congratulating kid for graduation, etc.

At one point, Alisha tells Buzz that she probably would never have met her wife, Kiko, if Buzz hadn't messed up in the first place and landed them all on this island. Put a pin in that.

Also, when Alisha says she's engaged, Buzz immediately asks who "she" is, so Alisha was already out/comfortable with Buzz knowing, which I thought I was cute.

One could argue that her example of lesbian love is what literally saves the day in the end; the bad guy has Buzz convinced that they can go back in time and fix everything. Buzz is tempted, but then he remembers that that would destroy Alisha's happy life with Kiko and he can't bring himself to go through with it. It's literally thinking about Alisha's lesbian life that saves the day.

I mean, could I write an academic paper on this? No. Do I think it was intentional? It's Disney. But if you told me to make a 5 minute improvisational speech about it, I think I could do it.

It's a cute movie. I enjoyed it.

#Lightyear #Lightyear spoilers

[tradgediesofthehosts]

Updated lore, All characters with abilities, and Announcement

Sorry I failed to keep the promise of posting when party pack 9 got out. To make up for it, I’ll post a new list of all of the characters and their abilities but first, I should also get into the other types of abilities. Keep in mind it also has stuff to do with genetics, not everyone can develop an ability in this au.

Tragedies (T) are curses or magic that are a result of trauma. For example, if someone was nearly drowned, the can develop water breathing. Once someone develops a tragedy, the can’t give rid of it.

Comedies (C) are blessings or magic that developed as a result of life changing events. Being accepted into your dream college can grant you the ability to read books without opening them.

Sins (S) have nothing to do with religion (religion doesn’t really exist anyway?) they are abilities that are gained by doing horrible acts, the one thing all of these have in common is those with sins gain immortality, so they can't die of old age or natural causes, however they can still die. Sins also tends to corrupt an individual, but having a support system prevents that for the most part.

Blessings (B) are rewards or a result of a deal. 

Lores (L) are abilities that are learned or developed via scientific means

Hearts (H) are abilites that are biological or with in bloodline. they can also be recieve when someone get’s reincarnated or revived

Mechanics (M) are mainly exclusive to robots, but they’re abilities built with technology

Objectal (O) abilities used via object like a pocket watch

Hopefully that explained them well enough, I’ll list the character’s and their abilites. 

You don’t know jack series pre jackbox

Nate Shapiro-Incubus-he/him-gay

H-Charm (mind control basically)

Buzz Lipman-Changeling-he/they-aroace

C- Improv (If needed, can create the perfect sentence for whatever situation he’s in, sadly they suck at using it)

H-Shape shift (as long as it’s a humanoid form)

Helen-human-she/her-lesbian

L-Curse sight (can see whatever curse someone has and imeadieatly how to accommodate)

Guy-half giant-he/him-questioning

H-Height(can change height to a minimum of 5′6 and a maximum of 8′1)

Cookie Masterson-human?-he/him-bisexual

T-Botany(ability to grow and control plants, gained after accidentally eating a poisonous plant )

L-Taxidermy(ability to control dead animals), Resurrection (bring people back from the dead)

Schimitty-half human, half quip- he/him- bisexual

L-Quiplash (ability to turn into a quip), Resurrection

Jackbox Party pack 1

Drawful host-air siren-she/they-Asexual

H-Charm, flight

L-Doodle (Doodle’s come to life)

Jackbox party pack 2

Motherboard-robot-any-aroace

M-Audio (can change what sound is being played, organic and inorganic, within a certain distance. For example, with in 15 feet, he can make a cat meowing sound like a bear)

The Quips/ all of the quips

L-Quiplash (however they’re mainly stuck in their quip form)

Jackbox Party Pack 3

[REDACTED]-Mostly Human with demon lineage-He/They- arospec Homosexual

T-Blood lust (the insatiable thirst for murder once activated) Super Natural Madness (ability to see ghosts)

H-Dark portal (ability to use the darkness as a portal) Soul controlcability to control souls, anyone who is related to demons can do this)

S-Fear mongering (the ability to feed off of fear)

L-Resurrection, Sew bending (ability to control anything associated with sewing)

Toby-half human half ghost-he/him-queer

T-Ghostshift (he is stuck between the lines of being alive and being dead, and can easily shift anyone and himself between the two), bloodlust

Alan-human-he/him-straight

L-Resurrection

M-Spy(he can retrieve any information)

Tee KO dragon- Dragon- mainly he/they - unlabled

L-Sewbending (however a different variant, he can summon tee shirts at will)

Jackbox Party Pack 4

Felica-eldritch queen (or at least eldritch)- she/her-pansexual

T-Lovesick (if any mortal she’s in a relationship with see’s her true form, the relationship will be destroyed in one way or another)

L-Cupid(Boosts relationships between others), Love reader(can figure out information about others that have something to do with romance or sexuality)

Todd-internet demon-he/him-questioning

M-Troll break (can break an internet troll’s computer’s and sanity within seconds)

Party Pack 5

Mayonaise-genetically modified cat- he/him- unlabeled

L-Shapeshift

Binjpipe-AI-she/her-Asexual 

M-Algorithm(ability to create copies of people based on their internet usage)

“Cookie”-Rouge AI-all pronouns- AroAce

M-Algorithm, project(ability to project images as a hologram, used when he hosted Champed Up)

Party pack 6

Gracion (aka the nerd)-human-he/they-asexual homoromantic

T-trivial recall(ability to recall any trivia, [REDACTED] had to implement a rule for him so everyone else had a chance to win), super natural madness 

Detective Chambers-human-she/her-unlabeled

T-Clue seek(ability to discover very specific facts and details about a criminal when investigating, however when used too much, the facts get twisted and less logical, sometimes even untrue)

Dr.Ro-quip-she/her-bisexual

L-quiplash, persona (ability to detect personalities)

Dictionarium host-angel-she/they-demisexual panromantic

C-Word(ability bend words and gibberish at will)

T-Stone(ability to turn into stone)

Party pack 7

The demons from DATD-demons

H-soul control

Party pack 8

Laverne Caverne- undead spirit -she/her - pansexual

S-monster breath(prolongs periods being near her turns you into a monster)

T-Honesty (forces people to tell the truth, was developed after being killed during the Salem witch trials, God damn it Abigail Williams)

M.Bubz-aquatic-parasite possessing a water dispenser- they/them-aro ace

H-Possess (ability to control anything, in this case, a water dispenser)

THE WHEEL OF EPIC PROPORTIONS-god of trivia and luck- it/it’s - unlabeled

H-SPIIIIINNNNN (ability to answer questions when spun with consent)

Lord Tippet- human - he/him - straight

T-Blood lust

O-Time loop (ability to create a time loop in a certain area, requires a pocket watch)

Lady Raven - demonic humanoid- she/her - bisexual

T-Bloodlust, dark portal, wilt (creates a path of dead plants when walking on them)

H-Soul control

L-Ink flow (ability to control ink), Crow’s call (ability to summon a murder of crows), cryptid language (able to decipher any non-mortal language at will)

S-corruption (ability to corrupt others without anyone realizing it), fear mongering

All weapons drawn player characters-human

T:Blood lust, inkflow

Party Pack 9

Cookie ai - ai - it’s/it - ehhhhhhh

M-Algorithm

Professor Naners- monkey - she/her -unlabled

L-Nonsense (ability to work with anything nonsense)

Roomerang host(forgot their name)-human-any pronouns- gay

T-Abstract reality cable to create a mini abstract pocket dimension)

Junktopia wizard- humanoid - he/him - straight

L-frogification (can turn people into frogs, spite being a wizard, this is the only one he fully mastered)

Original Characters and their involvement of their story

Axen- aquatic siren - he/him - gay

Importance: Trivia murder party survivor, Murder Hotel employee, related to the mermaid meeple

H-Charm, water breathing

T-Siren’s call (ability to lure people their deaths or away from him for defense)

Elizabeth - human with elf ears - he/him - asexual biromantic

Importance: Murder hotel employee

B-secret truth(ability to find out any form of truth or secret, but can not explain it out loud, it’s a family blessing that has been around longer than the blood lust curse)

Jax- formally human, now fire element- they/them - queer

Importance: Murder hotel employee, basically [REDACTED]’s adoptive son

T-Phoenix (ability to control fire and fire resistance), bloodlust

Stora-demon-she/they- asexual

Importance: Closely connected with [REDACTED]’s family, murder hotel employee 

H-soul control, galactics (ability to create a small window to space)

Author-mostly human with angel lineage- he/him - gay

Importance:[REDACTED]’s boyfriend (more on him next week)

S- Regenerate (is able to regenerate and quickly heal any injury, however can’t feel anything other than pain, but they’re extremely muted in comparison to a normal person feeling the same amount of pain)

Now time for the announcement, I will be trying to post something on here weekly, key word try. School is very chaotic, so bare with me. Next week will be about Author, the week after that will be an updated post about the murder hotel employees. Hopefully I can also work on a webcomic as well, if that’ the case, it’ll be posted monthly to give me time to do stuff. Anyway have a good day peeps.

#jackbox au #jackbox games oc #You Don't Know Jack #Jackbox Games #trivia murder party #trivia murder party 2 #quiplash #weapons drawn

[nityarawal]

3/16/2024

Don't Force (Eloning)

Morning Songs

You'll Never Force

Love

You'll Never Force

Me

You'll Never Force

Elon

For Eternity

For You'll Fail

F-eloning

Stealing Funds

Need Britney

Blessings

From All The

Moms

It's Really

Black And

White

Not Gray At All

Government Took

And Took

From Moms

You Steal Her Oil

Steal Her Defense

We Don't Want

Trans

And Certainly

No Car Salesmen

Enticing Our

Kids Into

Tesla Doje Day Trader

Cons

During War

Gambles

Carbon Queen's 

#Rockets

Knights

Hoping To Save

Moms'

How Many

Children Played

Diablo

All Night

For Six Months

Begging For

Eternal Love

To Save Them

How Many

Children

Begged For Mom

For War Is

Very Scary

Not A Meme

To Laugh At

And We Remember 

That

Nightmares

Unforgettable

Embryos Begging

To Abort

How Many

Children

Begged For

Mom

Don't Forget 

Me

Don't Lose My

Namesake

Don't Let Officer

Enoch

Rape

My Sisters

Into Jane

Does

Elon Says

Stephen Miller

Will Help

At America First Legal

Is It True

Refund Everyone

Better If Lexus

Toyota TM

Pulls Through 

For Own Crimes

Karmically

But Eloning

Will Perform

Regardless

But AFL Paralegals

Ghost My Ladies

And Sell Our

Data Like

Everyone Else

Google Justifies

Terrorism Against

Moms

Lies

Close The Courts

We Don't Need

Them

Close The Politicians

Campaigns

Exploiting

My Ladies

Frustratin'

Goddesses

It's A Sin

Close Space-X

Close Nasa

Close Airforce

All American Military 

Cease Fire

End World War Three

Send Kids Home

'Cuz Doggy Style

Ain't Gettin'

Any One To Mars

Promise 'Ya

Tell Errol 

Musk

All The Jewish Big

Second Gentlemen

To Go

Go Gay Boys'

Who Mollested

My Brothers

And I

In Cybercars

These Sales Boys'

Are Causing 

Problems

Close Lexus

Toyota

Time To Recycle

Them

Close The 

Giga Factory

In Berlin

Raping My

Physicists

Did You Really

Think

I'd Want An

Old Man

For President

Rather Than 

My Kids

Did You Really

Think Any 

Politicians

Ambitions

Was More

Important

Than My Kids

Or Any

Movie Or Robot

Never Geeks

Get Your Stars

In Order

Prioritize 

My Co- Parents

Will Rise

My Co-Parents

Will Survive

My Co-Parents 

Will Make 

Walls And

Boundaries

From The Rapists

Of Junk Art From

Force

And Politicians

Whom Betrayed

Me

My True Love

Will Discover

All He Needs

For My True

Love Will

Honor What's 

Sacred

In You

And Me

Peace,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal 

[girlactionfigure]

There's something I need to get off my chest.

I'm an Ultra-Orthodox, Chassidic, Hareidi Jew. I live in Jerusalem, in an area that is exclusively Ultra-Orthodox Hareidi for street after street, suburb after suburb, for miles and miles. In all of these neighborhoods where the roads are blocked off and no cars drive on Shabbos, each black-hat-wearing family has many many children and literally no TV’s. I personally only ever wear black and white clothes, my wife only dresses in Chassidic levels of tznius (modesty), and my boys and girls all attend mainstream Hareidi Chassidic schools where the main language is Yiddish. My kids don’t and never will have smartphones, nor have they ever been on the internet at all. Period. They don’t know what social media is and they’ve never seen a movie — not even Disney animation. 

Having lived exclusively immersed in this culture for the last 21 years, I think I'm sufficiently qualified and well-researched enough to state that the consistent depiction of Hareidim and Torah Judaism by mainstream media, from Netflix to the daily news, is somewhere between delusion, slander and the literal equivalent of racism. If you consider yourself less closed-minded than how you imagine we Hareidim to be, then permit me to share a few personal details about my family, and other families in our neighborhood, to see how well your mental narrative matches up to reality:

- Besides learning Torah each day, most of the men in our neighborhood work full or part-time.

- Many women in our area work. Some even manage their own business or company. These are not special or “liberated” women — it’s so normal here it’s not even a discussion point.

- My wife is a full-time mother by choice, who despite attending an Ivy League College,  finds it a profound and meaningful thing to dedicate her life to. If she didn’t, she’d go get a job. Mind you, she also attends Torah classes each week, works out with both a female fitness coach (who’s gay) and a frum Pilates instructor, writes and edits articles for a couple global websites and magazines, and personally mentors a number of women. None of this is seen as unusual. 

- Kids in our community go to Torah schools where they learn (surprise!) Torah. They are fluent in three languages from a young age and the boys even read and understand a fourth (Aramaic). All the kids learn grammar, math and science. Weekly after-school activities have included music (violin, drums, piano), Tae Kwon Do, swimming, art, woodworking and robotics. The girls' school teaches tools of emotional intelligence. The principal of the boys' school doesn't hesitate to refer to kids to OT if needed. I practice meditation with my children multiple times each week. None of our kids think the world is literally 6,000 years old. They devour books about science and think it’s cool. They know dinosaurs existed and don’t find that existentially threatening. They have a telescope with which they love to watch the stars. 

- The women in my family (like the men) only dress modestly according to Hareidi standards. The girls don't find this burdensome or oppressive. Period. They aren't taught that beauty is bad. They're certainly not taught to hate their bodies, God forbid. Each morning when they get dressed, they are as happily into their own fashion and looking pretty as any secular girl is. They just have a different sense of fashion than secular culture dictates. (Unfortunately for me,  it's no cheaper.)

- The local Hareidi rabbis we receive guidance from are deep, warm, sensitive, supportive and emotionally intelligent. If they weren’t, we wouldn’t go to them.

- My boys assume they will grow up to learn Torah, as much as they want to, and then when they’re ready, get a good job or learn a profession to support whatever lifestyle they choose. My girls assume they’ll be wives and mothers (which they can’t wait for) but they're also warmly encouraged to train in whatever other profession they desire. (My 9-year-old daughter, chatting with her friend in the living room, just commented, "I want to be a mother and a teacher and an artist." Her friend replied, "I'm going to be a ballet teacher.") All options are on the table, and their future seems bright.

- We love living in modern Israel, feel proud and blessed to be here, and frequently count and celebrate its blessings. Everyone in my area votes. Sometimes not even for Hareidi parties. I pay taxes. (And they’re expensive!)

- As a Hareidi person, I’m glad we have Hareidi representation in the government — though I don’t always love or approve of how the Hareidi politicians act, or what they choose to represent. For the record, I'm equally dubious about secular politicians, as well. 

- While I don't spend much time in Tel Aviv, I do have a few close Hareidi entrepreneur friends who have founded high-tech start-ups there, and are — Boruch Hashem! — doing very well.   

- We don’t hate all non-religious people. Our kids don’t throw stones at passing cars on Shabbos. I doubt they even know anyone who would do that or think that it’s ok. We frequently talk about the Torah value of caring for and being compassionate towards everyone. As a family, we proactively try to find ways to judge others favorably (even those people who throw stones at passing cars on Shabbos.)

- We invite all manner of religious and secular Jews to join our Shabbos meals each week and the kids are open, happy, and confident to welcome everyone. (No, we're not Chabad.) One of the many reasons for having such guests at our table is to teach the kids this lesson.

- While we would technically be classified as right-wing and we don’t at all buy the modern “Palestinian” narrative, we certainly don’t hate all Arabs, nor do we have any desire to expel them all from the land. We warmly welcome anyone seeking to dwell here with us in peace and we are pained and saddened to see the suffering and loss of lives of all innocent Arab families and children — as would any decent human being.

- Of the few local families I know whose kids no longer identify as religious, none at all chose to disown their kids. The very thought, in such lovingly family-dedicated communities, is hard to imagine. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm just saying it's not as common as it's made out. Rather, these families have tirelessly, profoundly, compassionately committed to maintaining any connection with their children, and to emphasize that, no matter what, family is the most important thing. Because it is.

- We aren't just living our life blindly, dogmatically following empty religious rules; rather, we are frequently engaged with, exploring and discussing Torah's richness, depth and meaning. Our kids honestly love learning Torah, praying and doing mitzvos. They’re visibly excited about Shabbos and festivals. This lifestyle is in no way oppressive or burdensome for them. If you suggested to them it was, they’d laugh and think you were crazy.  

- We Hareidim are normal people: we laugh, we cry, we buy too much Ikea furniture, and we struggle with all of life's daily ups and downs, just like the rest of you. Some of our communities are more healthy and balanced, some are less so; some of our people are warmer, nicer and more open, some are more closed, dogmatic and judgmental; some of our leaders are noble and upstanding, and some are quite frankly idiots…JUST LIKE ANY SECULAR NEIGHBORHOOD IN THE WORLD TOO. But having grown up living a secular lifestyle myself, and today being Hareidi-by-choice, I can testify that in these communities there is generally a greater and more tangible sense of well-being, warmth, tranquility, connection and meaning. We love and feel blessed to be living this life and wouldn’t want any other.

If this description of Hareidi life is hard to swallow, be careful not to push back with the often-used defenses like: "Well, you're just an exception to the rule...", "You're just American Hareidim", "You're baalei teshuvah", "Well, I know a bunch of Haredim that aren't like that at all"....because the truth is, while there might be many Hareidim who aren't like what I described above, it's still an accurate description of literally hundreds of thousands of Hareidim in Israel and the US — a decent portion of all Hareidim in the world. Which is my very point — how come you never see this significant Hareidi demographic represented in the media, television series, or the news? How come we mostly see the darkest and most problematic cliches instead? 

And finally, if all the facts I've listed above about our communities are hard for you to accept as true, then perhaps the image you have in your head about Hareidim is less based on facts and reality and more based on stereotypes, fear, hate, and discrimination — like any other form of prejudice in the world. 

Care to prove me wrong? Well, you're welcome to come argue it out with me and my family at our Shabbos table on Friday night. It would be a joy and honor to have you. 

Doniel Katz

[sitp-recs]

Hi! I've recently started reading Drarry on ao3 and I wanted to ask you for recommendations of good and cute fics (with a happy ending please) that are long (maybe more than 50k) sorry for all the requests. Hope you have an amazing day!

Welcome anon! I’m so happy you’re enjoying the fandom ❤️ to be honest I don’t read much fluff in general, especially when it comes to long fics, but I think you might like these. I consider them ultimate feel-good stories and despite the occasional bit of angst, they all have wholesome happy endings. Enjoy!!!

Another Heart Whispers Back by @slytherco (2020, E, 53k)

At twenty-five, Harry Potter is still a virgin and sorely lacking in options to change that state anytime soon. To help him find a plus one for Ron and Hermione’s wedding, and maybe kill two birds with one stone, Harry’s friends set him up on a series of blind dates. The only problem is, there’s something not quite right with each of their candidates. In which Harry learns that some things are worth waiting for, that looking and seeing are two very different things, and that his heart’s song has been heard a long time ago.

Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi (2016, E, 57k)

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

Modern Love by @tackytigerfic (2020, E, 61k)

Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is. And it really doesn’t seem fair that Draco Malfoy is back in Harry’s life, all of a sudden, and even though he’s wandless, and living with Muggles, and making his mother cry with his lifestyle choices, he’s happy. So what's he doing right, that Harry isn’t?

The Promise of Summer by Omi_Ohmy (2019, M, 66k)

How was Harry supposed to know that coming back for eighth year would be so confusing? Everything is the same, and yet not the same. And nowhere is this more obvious than with Draco Malfoy. Harry finds himself once more watching and following Malfoy, trying to work him out. When they are drawn together to heal the castle, Harry doesn’t just find Malfoy - he also finds himself.

Headlights in the Snow by Saras_Girl (2016, M, 71k)

What’s big and purple and smells like tea? Harry is about to find out.

Right Hand Red by @lqtraintracks (2015, E, 73k)

Harry felt Malfoy's breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory. Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy. Malfoy felt inevitable.

Criminal by @the-sinking-ship (2020, E, 83k)

Things were going just fine for Draco Malfoy. He successfully conned and counted cards across Europe and America, amassing a small fortune, along with a lengthy rap sheet. That was until he made the grave mistake of returning to England for a high stakes card game and got himself caught – by Harry Potter no less. Now, Draco is stuck in England under Auror Potter’s guard with no friends, no distractions, and no escape. How the hell will he pass the time? And since when did Potter get so bloody fit?

Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by waspabi (2016, T, 93k)

‘You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work.

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by nerakrose and dustmouth (2018, M, 96k)

Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry. Features: Little League Quidditch, an abundance of bath bombs, happy endings, and gay robots in space.

Soup-pocalypse and The Great Curry Cataclysm by SquadOfCats (2018, E, 104k)

Eleven years after the war, Draco Malfoy leads a quiet, boring, and perfectly respectable life, thanks very much. Or, at least he does, until a sudden and very unexpected veela awakening causes him to throw soup all over Harry Potter in the middle of the Ministry cafeteria.

Written on the Heart by who_la_hoop (2016, E, 113k)

When he’s hit by an illegal love-spell though, Harry finds he has more to worry about than whether or not Blaise Zabini actually wants to be his friend. For if everyone affected has been blessed – or cursed, by the look on Malfoy’s face – with a magical tattoo revealing the name of their soulmate, what does it mean that Harry’s skin remains completely bare?

What We Pretend We Can't See by gyzym (2017, M, 131k)

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

#anon #asks #long fics #fluff

[candlecat624]

I posted 10,181 times in 2021

35 posts created (0%)

10146 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 289.9 posts.

I added 159 tags in 2021

#candle speaks - 80 posts

#candle is gay - 29 posts

#ruththe reckless - 10 posts

#ask - 8 posts

#anon - 7 posts

#candle tried stuff - 7 posts

#fnaf - 6 posts

#the candle melts - 5 posts

#art - 4 posts

#candle gets an ask - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i’m not sure i just know that i’m not feeling too good and i’m too ashamed to say anything so i’m just resorting to staying quiet and this

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Reasons why tumblr not letting you send images in group chats in both a blessing and a curse

1.

11 notes • Posted 2021-06-24 00:51:01 GMT

#4

Litwick, (Yes I am using that nickname now) I get that you are running on energy drinks but I am running on a single coffee I had over 9 hours ago I'm so tired why the questions/lh /j /nm

Because I was having a depressive episode and when I started asking Mal the questions and saw they were enjoying answering, I spread to Kuru and now you to spread a little bit of fun! If you want I can stop tho, I know you’re not in FNAF anymore :))

13 notes • Posted 2021-06-27 19:57:05 GMT

#3

So tempted to make a blog for one of my coping mechanisms but I’m scared I’ll get hate for it :((

13 notes • Posted 2021-07-23 15:23:46 GMT

#2

HATE DISCORD GROUP CHATS GOT ME REFRESHING EVERY 2 SECONDS JUST TO SEE IF THERES A NEW MESSAGE SO I DONT ACCIDENTALLY GO ‘KABDHSAJDBSJABSB’ AT A SMALL CHILD WALKING INTO CHAT SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF THE 20 YEAR OLD LIKE- PLEASE-

26 notes • Posted 2021-06-23 23:53:50 GMT

#1

Hello.

Here at Fazbear Entertainment we value our employees and our owners. That being said, we'd like to extend a very big: Fuck you. This is courtesy of Mr. Afton.

awww how sweet i wont accept it if it doesnt come packaged in a pretty RED with WHITE box not the other way around it makes me feel like a dead child in a robotic suit

30 notes • Posted 2021-06-27 19:26:09 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #candle tried stuff #SCREAMING AHAHAHAHA #NOT THE VENT POSTS OH MY GODHAHAHAHAH

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 7

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV. There is violence in this chapter.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: *chants* BRUCE FLUFF BRUCE FLUFF BRUCE FLUFF. *sings* they're ain't no big thing just show them a little swing. Beneficial Cucumber. Author's notes are spoilers without context at this point... Y'all-

My beta, @miscmarvelwritings . We make the best duo. I am her dumb of ass and she is my gay. I love her.

Tony was elbow-deep in a robot when I came out of the elevator, Peter holding up the spare part needed, hovering next to the engineer. Without preamble, I was directed to help and dutifully fulfilled Tony's requests. Nothing indicated that my evening stunt ever happened besides Pete's faint blush; I might as well have written it off to the tank top hugging the upper part of my body in all the right places.

I was disappointed, I won't lie to myself - I expected Tony to tease me at least a little bit, snark something vaguely lewd and move on. But the engineer was quiet today, eerily so, almost to the point where it seemed he was ignoring me on purpose. My pride didn't let me begin any of our usual banter so I frowned in silence, making the appearance of a very focused person. Bolts and screws - most interesting things in the world!

As usual, I clocked out first around eleven thirty, leaving Pete and Tony some time to discuss their secret science stuff. Usually I would be exhausted by this point which left little to no room for jealousy but that night, emotions hit me like a freight train and it took me every ounce of my willpower to head out to Bruce's for the inevitable "I'm disappointed in you/Fuck safely" round of brainwashing.

My brain kept returning to the downwards tilt of Tony's mouth and the somber mood around him. I hated seeing him so...unhappy and tense.

The moment I set step in Bruce's lab, I saw the man's back hunched over a tube, I felt the same energy coming from him. What a fucking day! The sigh that left my mouth was resigned. "Bruce?"

A couple of seconds passed before he turned. He attempted a smile but it didn't reach his eyes at all. "Hi, Princess."

I cocked my head in defeat. "If this is the part where you lecture me, let's get over it. Or even better, you say nothing and we carry on," I pursed my lips, inspecting my nails in favour of actually facing the scientist.

I heard the click-clack of his instruments being placed on the table and the soft taps of his shoes against the tiled floor. His arms reached around my shoulders before I could even attempt to pull away, one of his broad palms tucking my face into the crook of his neck.

"I'm not mad, baby girl," He told me quietly.

I felt some of the tension dissipate, wrapped my arms around him, coming to a realization the man was all but melting into me.

"Just stay safe, alright? I don't want you to get hurt," With the same quiet tone, Bruce gently shushed my worries away. "If something is wrong, you can come to me. You know that, right?" He sounded painfully hopeful as he withdrew just enough to capture my face in his hands, forcing me to look him in the eye.

Something about the look in his eyes made my heart ache. I didn't have the heart to refuse, nor did I want to, so I nodded. Promptly, I was embraced yet again, his lips resting on the crown of my head, both of us swaying gently.

I've never wanted to cry so badly in my entire life.

"I'm a fuckin' mess, Bwucie, you haven't got a clue what you've gotten yourself into," I settled for a round of self-deprication instead. Bitter as it was, it was the barenaked truth.

"Then you're a beautiful mess," I could feel the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. So I smiled, too, obscured by his lab coat.

As much as I didn't want to leave the embrace, like, ever, I had to get home before one o'clock - before mother went to bed, zonked out on Valium and Ambien from the endless supply closet courtesy of my dad. "M'hafta go home," I mumbled.

Bruce sighed deeply. "I'll grab one of Tony's cars and drive you," He went over to remove his lab coat as I gaped. "I'm a forty-five year old man, I can drive." He chuckled humorlessly.

"Tony won't mind?" I asked the first question that popped into my mind to attempt dispelling the awkward moment.

"Trust me, he won't mind at all," Bruce mumbled darkly. I wondered what's up with that but the immediate future for me was already planned out: I was really looking forward to going home, crawling into bed with my clothes on and having a good old fashioned cry.

We made quick work of locating a set of keys and peeling out of the garage in Tony's shiny Audi R8, tires squealing on the wet pavement. It had stopped raining sometime during my robot building but the city was still filled with puddles. I could smell the moist, decaying leaves through the tiny gap of the window, the city was drowning in autumn like I was drowning in my own cluelessness.

The adrenaline rush, the weight of Tony's foul mood, the grief and pleading that radiated off Bruce mixed into a horrendous cocktail of misery and pain. Too much pain for my little, weak, dumb heart to handle. And all these people out in the streets, dressed to the nines despite the disgusting weather - laughing, hugging and drunkenly giggling, it was like salt on my wounds, rubbing it in how much of a good time they were having.

"This your house?" Bruce pointed at the black, high gate of the entrance to my garage.

"Yeah, it's a bit much," I nodded absentmindedly, seeing Bruce's eyes bulge at the sheer size of my estate. My mother wouldn't settle for any less than the best so having a monstrously huge (for NYC) home was what she got. Dad just signed the checks.

Bruce hummed.

I made a face, reaching for his warm hand and giving it a squeeze. "Thanks, Bwucie," Smiling at him, I used up the last of my good mood to show the gratitude he deserved.

He pulled me into a tight hug right over the middle console. It wasn't comfortable by any means with the numerous buttons and switches poking at the soft of my stomach but there was nowhere else I'd rather be than in his arms during that moment. The breaths that left me felt like they were punched out of my chest cavity by steel-toed boots.

"Good night, Princess. Sweet dreams." He kissed my cheek, lingering just a tiny bit.

I did the same, rubbing softly against his stubble and giggling at the ticklish sensation. "Night night, Bwucie."

I waved at him again as I unlocked my front gates and watched him speed off from behind it, obscured by the shadows of the decorative trees growing right behind the fence.

Bruce's face had morphed into something akin to torment or suffering the moment I disappeared from his immediate eyesight and it baffled me to no extent. I ransacked my brain left and right, searching for a reason I might have inadvertently caused him to feel that way but found none. The only logical reason was that he was just lonely. He didn't have many friends from what I gathered and if judging by the proud tone in which he spoke of Will-Mr Davies today, he desperately needed some other company than his teammates. I wish I could have helped.

Mother was nowhere to be seen when I entered the house so a beeline for my bed was successful. The ugly, loud, dry-heaving sobs weren't in any shape or form attractive or acceptable to show to anybody but me so when they forced their way out of me, the pillow keeping me company. I cried as for everything that was happening to me as much as I sobbed because of the self-pity I was indulging in.

It was pathetic, really. My mother would scoff and my father... Well, he'd offer me to 'cheer up, throw a party, do normal teenager stuff'. The bottle of wine I kept in my closet was empty in no time: I justified that as a single lady in a big city, I was entitled to relax once in a while.

Who was I lying to? I downed a bottle in twenty minutes just so I could fall asleep and begone from all this bullshit for a while.

On Monday, I anonymously submitted the documents pertaining to Thompson's behaviour to the school board and to a local newspaper that was known to dabble in socialite gossip. Next day, an investigation was promptly launched and important-looking people started to appear in the hallways, going in and out of the principal's office. Flash was pulled out of class by two police officers: at this point, half the student population was unashamedly filming it on their smartphones, me included. With grim satisfaction, I sent the video directly to the group chat with an added message of "so long, fucker".

Steve didn't even remark on my profanity, just sent a thumbs up.

It really fuckin' blew up the next morning. The news was plastered across every paper, every social media site - "Midtown Principal's son arrested for grand theft auto and assault", "Midtown Principal Being Investigated for obstruction of education" and other ridiculous headlines that had me, Bucky and Natasha in shit-fits.

Flash returned to school on Wednesday accessorized with a pretty ankle monitor and a sullen frown. During lunch, he sat only with two of his closest minions instead of the chatty group he was usually seen with. Everybody avoided him like the bubonic plague, even teachers ignored him.

With the final bell, me and Pete went on to look for Happy outside the school territory.

I was spending nearly every evening at the tower either in Tony's or Bruce's lab or sandwiched between Wanda and Bucky on the couch, gossiping while TV shows mutely played in the background. I had found a second friend in the face of Winter Soldier who, much like me, spent a lot of his days occupied by the internet or in a general state of confusion. Bucky was charming, funny and very flamboyant. I enjoyed the no-nonsense attitude and zero fucks that he gave the world in general.

The moment I stepped on the other side of the gate, I immediately knew something was wrong. Peter squirmed uncomfortably beside me, looking frantically in every direction, trying to spot Happy's car in vain.

"Ay, Parker," The familiar obnoxious voice of Peter's bully reached our ears. "You wanna tell me how you got your grubby little hands on that file?"

Thompson had brought back up with him, the idiot that he was. He was standing off to the side, leaning against the fence while five older boys surrounded us in a tight circle.

"Leave us alone, Flash, you're already in trouble," Peter tried reasoning with the bully meanwhile I... I was searching for a cleaner, dryer spot to dump my $1500 bag onto in preparation for the inevitable. I was no stranger to swinging my arm - as a frequent house party guest, I've had to fend off enough unwelcome advances. I've been told I have a mean, mean right hook.

"Bold of you to assume Peter would actually steal something," I stated in a bored tone once my bag was out of the way and Pete was standing securely behind me. I wasn't afraid of Flash, mostly because I knew he'd step back for the fear of retaliation from my family was usually too much.

"Oh, look at that, the weirdo is talking," Thompson mocked, getting up and standing right in front of my face. "You know, I don't get why the likes of you have to go to school with us, normal people. See, Peter here might be a little wimp but at least he won't shoot up the whole school one day because his daddy didn't love him enough," Thompson decided to test his luck. To finish his epic tirade with a flourish, he spat on the ground next to me.

I snorted. "Wow, that's an awful lot of smart words for someone as dumb as a doorknob," I shook my head in disdain. "Look, either you go now or I'll sue you so far up your ass, you'll be sucking dick in prison just to get something to fill your stomach with." And wow, that comeback was really, really good. I was proud of myself.

I saw pure rage mar Thompson's already ugly face into something demonic and ducked at the last moment, feeling the blunt sting of his knuckles connect with my left cheekbone. Reflectively I swung, too, decking him straight in the nose with all the rage and despair that was burning deeply inside of me at that time.

I heard gasps all around me as the students whispered, shouted and cheered at Thompson's confused form hitting the ground. He held his face and his palms were stained a deep crimson; I felt something warm on my face, copper in my mouth.

"Does anybody want some of that, too?" My tone was icy. I shrugged off the hand that landed on my shoulder, glaring down one of the boys who came with Thompson.

"Shit, cops, RUN!" One of the students suddenly shouted and just like that, both me and Flash were surrounded only by a handful of students who had filmed the entire incident on camera. God bless technology!

"Uh, I think you're bleeding," Pete timidly remarked from behind me, hand still awkwardly outstretched towards me. He cast a guilty look to the side where Happy was running towards us, phone held to his ear, no doubt already on the line with Tony and the rest of the Avengers. Shit, fuck, SHIT. I didn't plan for this!

The police officers called an ambulance for Flash and took my statement while I was holding my bleeding nose up to the sky, much to the officer's dismay. Happy had passed the officer his mobile phone and I briefly heard Tony's voice saying that I will be taken care of in the tower's medical suite - and let's face it, no cop will go against Iron Man's charm and wit.

As an eighteen year old, I could refuse the on-site medical assistance that the city provided and my parents weren't required so I was let go after my statement was taken and my injuries photographed.

Not that the photoshoot really was required. Multiple people had the incident on video, from multiple angles. It was an open and close case. I called my mother in the elevator (she didn't answer) and left her a voice message with the bare facts of the situation and my current whereabouts.

Seeing the whole team assembled in the living room, some nervously twitching, some anxiously pacing, I couldn't help but let out a slightly hysterical giggle. "Oh my god, guys, I'm not in a coma, stop acting like I'm in a coma!"

Bucky was the first to approach me, carefully hugging me and steering me towards Bruce. He looked a bit rough, green-ish? I guess. But the first aid kit was already on the table and Stephen Strange was hovering nearby.

"You decked the sucker real good, doll," Bucky's Brooklyn accent made his speech less intelligible but he definitely got all the cookie points for the heat and the passion.

"Ditto. Should've kicked him in the balls, too," Natasha smirked and Steve mirrored her smirk with a darker twist.

"I'm going to sue him so darn far up his ass," Tony seethed, looking absolutely livid.

"Don't worry, mother's got it handled," I obediently laid down on the couch, staring up at Bruce's wide eyes and Stephen's focused face.

"You are fearless and fierce, dear lady," Thor boomed from somewhere.

All of this was making me... Emotional. I just punched a piece of human garbage, it was not a big deal, okay? He had it coming. I chuckled uncomfortably, wincing when Bruce began dabbing at the dried blood on my face with a piece of gauze soaked in alcohol. "Petey, you alright?" I asked, worried about the sudden onset of silence from the usually chatty boy. He mumbled something. "Speak up, I can't hear shit with all the ringing in my ears."

That earned me a worried look from doctor Strange and a frown from Bruce.

"I should've protected you-I mean-it's not that you can't do it yourself, or because you're a girl, it's just-I," he suddenly stopped.

"Go ahead, kid," Tony urged him with unmistakable kindness in his voice.

"You see, I'm-I'm actually Spider-Man and I'm afraid to accidentally kill someone, 'cause I'm really strong." Pete blurted out.

I had to replay his words several times in my head to get to the gist of what he was actually saying. Shy little Peter? Spider-Man? So that's why he was such a fucking pacifist? I mean, it made perfect sense if he really was strong enough to lift cars and hold together collapsing bridges like I'd seen on YouTube.

"Huh," I stated after a brief pause. "I guess I did double the work today, dumped out some trash and prevented a potential murder. I'm on a roll and I deserve chocolate cake," I rambled to distract myself from the incoming dull headache and the sting of the alcohol against the split skin of my cheek.

Strange chuckled, looking, possibly, the happiest I've ever seen him. Bruce giggled too. A tiny bit.

"Friday, order the biggest, most expensive chocolate cake that can be delivered in... Two hours," Tony immediately spoke up.

"Cake," I mumbled happily, a strange drowsiness overcoming me, making my eyelids droop. "Hey-mmm, doc?" I slurred, seeing Stephen's face fall. "M'think m'concussed, f'king 'ell!" The snort that left his mouth was absolutely hilarious; I started giggling, too, startling Banner into action.

He picked up his phone, saying something I didn't understand at all.

"Y'kno," I had this totally bright idea I absolutely NEEDED to share with everyone. "Y'kinda look like the guy... Wha's'is name... Bendy-snap Crum-ble-sticks? No, wait," Snorts and giggles began to resonate through the room as the amount of Doctor Stranges suddenly multiplied by two. He was a WIZARD, that was so cool! "I think... Mmm, yes... Benadryl-Claritin? No-no-no, 'das meds," Woah, a lot of people were there and they were suddenly all laughing. I wondered what was so funny. It was hard to think with so many people laughing; my temples were pulsating uncomfortably. "Wait, I know, I know!" There were wheezing noises now, noises that distinctively reminded me of Tony and Wanda and Bucky. "Bubble-butt Coitus-snack!" I triumphantly exclaimed, finally happy to have gotten it right.

The laughter turned into truly demonic cackling, surrounding me, they were so loud I almost managed to get fully afraid. And then, I passed the fuck out.

TAGLIST IS OPEN Y'ALL.

@another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem

#tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x you #bruce banner x y/n #bruce banner x reader #Bruce Banner fluff #stephen strange x reader #stephen strange x you #Stephen Strange x y/n #doctor strange x you #doctor strange x reader #bun writes #party favours #IN THIS HOUSE WE PROTECT PETER PARKER WITH OUR LIVES AND FACES

[umbrylcrow]

top 5 luca roles?

Is it bad that the instant I finished reading this ask I knew exactly what my answer was gonna be? Some might disagree with me but this is my own person opinion sO...

Nicolò di Genova/Nicky - The Old Guard (is this any surprise? I have such an infinite tenderness for Nicky. He’s so good but can also kill you at the drop of a hat. Legends only)

Primo Nizzuto - Trust (is it strange to say that even though he’s number two (and the only reason he is is because putting him at number one with Nicky would be “cheating”) I would argue this is Luca’s best role? I can’t really explain why it just...is, in my opinion. I also haven’t met a single person yet who’s walked away from Trust and hasn’t had Primo on the brain for a long time afterwards. Hell, my fiancee was even like ‘I hate you. I hate how much this character lives in my head rent free now” after I had her watch it lmao. Also on another note, will never be over the cameraman being obsessed with getting an ass shot in every time Luca was on screen. Those 70s pants really loved his assets...and I’m not just talking about his ass either)

Cesare - Non essere cattivo/Don’t Be Bad (sometimes...I think about Cesare and cry. I’m not even exaggerating, as I type this now I’m getting misty eyed. I was not prepared for the absolute emotional turmoil this film was going to give me and now whenever somebody tells me they want to/still need to watch it, I tell them to have tissues nearby because they will need it)

Guido Caselli - Tutti i santi giorni/Every Blessed Day (guys, gals, non-binary pals, I am begging y’all to settle for nothing less than a Guido in your life please. Ugh, this character is such a good boy, such a loving partner. Such a fucking nerd. I would die for Guido)

Lo Zingaro/Fabio Cannizzaro - Lo Chiamavano Jeeg Robot/They Call Me Jeeg (this character is what Suicide Squad’s Joker and Marvel’s Loki wishes they were and frankly I find those comparisons an insult to this character (and I don’t even hate Marvel!Loki) he’s so delightfully unhinged. Honestly the best superhero villain I’ve seen in years. It helps that the film doesn’t take him 100% seriously either. Also...that karaoke scene? *chef’s kiss* Legendary. American cinema can only wish)

Special Mentions: Mickey Miranda - Die Pfeiler der Macht/A Dangerous Fortune (this mini-series isn’t even good but Mickey is a fucking delight. Deranged, bisexual whore. I love him so much. Literally the only good scenes are the ones he’s in. Everything else? Meh. If you can find a supercut of only Mickey’s scenes then watch that)

Paolo - Il padre d’italia/There Is A Light (Paolo is a sad gay and I love him so much and this film also made me cry my eyeballs out. It’s honestly one of my favorites)

Martin Eden - Martin Eden (sometimes I want to fucking strangle Martin (but like...that’s the point???) but gods, the movie is so good and Luca acts the fuck outta this role. I’m also mad that, as a writer, I can relate to Martin in some ways, like the frustration of people telling you what to write vs. what you do write/want to write.)

#Anonymous #luca marinelli #he has so many good roles fffff- #i also really loved him in the fabrizio de andre biopic #tbh i don't think there's a luca role that i actually hate???? #nicolo di genova #primo nizzuto #cesare #guido caselli #lo zingaro #fabio cannizzaro #mickey miranda #paolo #martin eden #the old guard #trust fx #trust #non essere cattivo #don't be bad #tutti i santi giorni #every blessed day #lo chiamavano jeeg robot #they call me jeeg #die pfeiler der macht #a dangerous fortune #il padre d'italia #there is a light

[friendofhayley]

Drarry Fics to Quarantine to: Below you’ll find 20k+ Drarry fics that will make you want to scream, cry, pace around your living space, and laugh to

🐍 Vortex by @xanthippe74 (20k) Soulmate AU / EWE

“Don’t worry, my dearest one,” Draco’s mother told him when he confided his worries to her. When he was old enough to feel the pangs of adolescent longing, but still too young to sense the storm gathering around them. “Magic will overcome any distance or obstacles to bring two soulmates together when the time is right. Circumstances will arise that steer them in the right direction; strange coincidences will make their paths cross again and again. Then the most wondrous moment arrives, when you both realize that your soulmate, your perfect match, stands before you, and from that day forward your hearts will be one.”

Ten years after that conversation, the idea of perfectly-matched soulmates feels more like a curse than a blessing to Draco. Who would want a soulmate who was a schoolyard bully, a Death Eater, and a convicted felon? Certainly not Harry Potter. And Draco is determined to take this secret to the grave.

🦁 Evitative by @k-vichan (222k) Slytherin Harry / Slow burn

In the summer before his fifth year at Hogwarts, Harry is drawn to a room in Grimmauld Place. Like the Gryffindor he is, he enters the room without fear. The room is a library, and Harry is surprised to find that he’s eager to learn.

Then he gets the bad news: he’s been accidentally expelled from Hogwarts, and he needs to be sorted again. Everyone is confident that he’ll go straight back to Gryffindor, but with what he's been learning, Harry’s not so sure.

🐍 Nice Things by aideomai (22k) Hogwarts 8th year / Touch-starved boys

The first thing that happened was Theodore Nott came back from France.

This officially put the number of eighth year students up to seven across three different houses, which was, according to McGonagall, quorum, and meant that the school would no longer simply add a few beds to their existing dormitories. Instead, the eighth years would be given their own lodgings. You will be welcomed, McGonagall wrote in a letter that accompanied the standard supply list, and lodged in the Gatehouse.

🦁 survival is a talent by @shanastoryteller (338k+) Soulmate AU / Found family

In the middle of their second year, Draco and Harry discover they're soulmates and do their best to keep it a secret from everyone.

Their best isn't perfect.

“Are you trying to get killed, Potter?” Malfoy drawls, stalking forward. Quick as a serpent himself, he reaches out and grabs the snake just below the head. It thrashes in his grip, but is no longer able to bite anyone. “This is a poisonous snake, and I doubt anyone brought a bezoar with them.”

Harry glares. He opens his mouth, and feels the beginning the snake’s language pass his lips, and this isn’t what he wants, what’s the point of insulting Malfoy if he can’t understand him –

Malfoy’s eyes widen. He slaps his hand over Harry’s mouth, “Potter, what the hell–”

🐍 Soup-pocalypse and The Great Curry Cataclysm by @norelationtoatticus (104k) Veela Draco / Pining

Eleven years after the war, Draco Malfoy leads a quiet, boring, and perfectly respectable life, thanks very much. Or, at least he does, until a sudden and very unexpected veela awakening causes him to throw soup all over Harry Potter in the middle of the Ministry cafeteria.

🦁 Twist of Fate by Oakstone730 (302k) Memory Loss / EWE

Draco asks Harry to help him beat the Imperius curse during 4th year. The lessons turn into more than either expected. A story of redemption and forgiveness.

🐍 There Is Always the Moon by @firethesound (159k) Cursed Draco / Fake relationship

Draco's life after the war is everything he wanted it to be: it's simple, and quiet, and predictable, and safe. But when a mysterious curse shatters the peace he'd worked so hard to build, there's only one person he can trust to help him. After all, Harry Potter has saved his life before. Now Draco has to believe that Potter will be able to do it one more time.

🦁 Azoth by zeitgeistic (faire_weather) (88k) Magic nerd boys / Hogwarts 8th year

Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care.

🐍 you’ve got the antidote for me by Kandakickass (20k) Soulmate AU / Terminal illness

When Harry Potter unintentionally severs their soulbond before it can fully form, Draco Malfoy resigns himself to a slow death and decides not to burden Harry with a soulmate he's made it very clear he doesn't want.

He's never been selfless before, but for Harry, he can try.

🦁 Say My Name by Thunderbird487 (199k) Hogwarts 8th year / Character growth

Harry witnesses something unexpected in the 8th year boys' showers and starts to see Draco Malfoy in a whole new light. The question is now, what is he going to do about it?

A coming of age Drarry tale about letting go of the past and building the future.

🐍 Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy’s Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by dustmouth, nerakrose (96k) Asexual Harry / Slow burn

Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.

Features: Little League Quidditch, an abundance of bath bombs, happy endings, and gay robots in space.

🦁 Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop (70k) EWE / Time loop

It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he's falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him?

🐍 Veela-Struck by Lomonaaeren (148k) Veela Draco / Slow burn

Veela don’t have destined mates, and thank Merlin for that. Draco wants to date Harry Potter because Harry is one of the few people in the wizarding world who treats him decently. But when Harry refuses, with his refusal focused on Draco’s creature blood, Draco sets out on a different journey than he ever expected.

🦁 Purity Control by frnklymrshnkly (28k) Hogwarts 8th year / Redemption

In which Harry tries to ignore his trauma with fantasy Quidditch but Malfoy's Thereness™ is distracting and all his classmates want to talk about are unicorns, virginity, and Muggle music.

🐍 Away Childish Things by @letteredlettered (153k) Hurt/Comfort / EWE

Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.

The last thing Harry remembered was talking to a snake. The snake had talked back—or sounded like it had—and then the glass had disappeared, and the snake had escaped. Dudley had blubbered like a baby, and Harry had got in trouble—or he thought he might have done, but that was when it started to get hazy, like grey swirls inside his own head.

#this fic rec is long but worth it!!! #drarry #fic rec #harry potter #hp fic rec #mine

[illdesigns]

Kloktober Day 9

crossover or fave au

my favorite au featuring the most coveted ship - magnus/therapy

rated m, warnings for brief talks of canon typical violence, self harm

The office had a smell. That was the worst part. Not the pastel walls or the various ceramic kittens and cherubs or the pale yellow sofa that sagged as Magnus sat in it. It had an absolute perfume smell to it, like he had his face buried in a field of flowers at all times.

Well, it wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was a special kind of torture that most people were not privy to - the sound of mechanical fingers clicking a pen.

“You gotta talk for this to do anything, you know,” Magnus’ eye tracked the man behind the desk as he wheeled back and forth in his office chair. “C’mon, big guy. I know you got a lot going on in that head of yours. What’re you thinking about?”

“Leaving,” Magnus replied briskly. “So I can have a beer and pretend this didn’t happen.”

“You use alcohol like that a lot?” Twinkletits asked curiously, pausing his rolling but not the pen clicking. “To cope with things? You a heavy drinker?”

“No,” he snapped. (Translation: Yes.)

“When you drink, how many drinks do you have? Just one or two, five or more?” he wasn’t subtle in what he was asking. Which is why Magnus hated therapists. He had tried it, once or twice, even before everything in his life really went to shit. When he was just depressed about being in his early twenties because being in your early twenties fucking sucks. And there had been one afterwards but, well, she just didn’t work out either. Dropped him after the whole stabbing story. “Talk with me, Magnus. You’ve got a friend worried about you, you know.”

“I don’t have friends,” it was out of his mouth faster than he intended and he winced. Whatever. If that got back to Toki somehow, Magnus could sue right? Patient confidentiality, HIPAA or whatever? Twinkletits wrote something on the pad in his hand. “What are you writing?”

“Don’t worry about me. My job is to take notes about this stuff for future reference, you just talk. Why don’t you think you have friends? Toki cares about you a lot. He set this up for you, asked you to come down and see me. That’s a friend, right?” Twinkletits offered.

“Yeah,” Magnus spoke with a hint of guilt, looking at his hands. (Translation: Yeah, actually.)

He felt the urge to sneeze, covering his face with the crook of his elbow, rubbing his nose and sniffling. That fucking smell was still covering every surface of his nostrils and it was starting to give him a headache.

“What’s that smell?” he asked.

“Bless you. Lavender. Keeps people calm,” Twinkletits beamed at him. It was funny, because he felt the urge to bash his head into a wall the more he had to inhale it. Not very calming. “And speaking of calm…Toki told me some interesting stuff about you.”

No. No, no, no. Magnus looked up at him again and his eyebrows knit together in suspicion.

“Like?” he asked, knowing the answer.

“So, do you wanna tell me about what happened back in…” he checked his notes. “1999? Ol’ Nate mentioned it too. Feels like it’s important to bring up.”

“Oh, he tell you he did this?” Magnus gestured to his dead eye.

“He told me he did that after you, uh, you stabbed him. But yes, he did,” Twinkletits wrote another little note. Magnus could only imagine what the little dossier Dethklok has on him now will look like. But it’s easier to imagine Offdensen smirking as he reads it, easier to imagine a list of reasons why Toki shouldn’t hang around him laid out in front of him, easier to imagine all of his plans unraveling because he went along with this.

“He, uh…” Magnus paused. Even if he was going to lie about what happened (not that he would be believed by a guy on their payroll anyway) he wasn’t sure...what had happened. It was always a blur when he tried to remember the details - his thought process, why it happened. It was like he blinked and opened his eyes to Nathan beating the shit out of him. “Not much to say if he told you.”

“What about from your point of view?” he prodded, steepling his skinny robot fingers. Why did their therapist have robot arms, anyway? Magnus found that more interesting.

“I dunno, man. It just happened!” he was defensive already, arms crossed over his chest, leg crossed. Shut off. “Things just happen, you know? Like before then I’d have problems with getting mad really easy. People would like, call me stupid and I’d blow up on them or something bad would happen and I’d get depressed and cry it out then take it out on people. And they started to hate me for it, and I started getting worse than that. I see you writing, dude, what are you writing?”

“Just writing what you’re saying. Helps me keep track, okay? Nothing bad,” Twinkletits waved him on. “Go on.”

“I...well, I dunno. It just got worse. I was mad all the time. Thought about hurting myself a lot. Then I started doing that. Thought about hurting other people a lot after that, and then…” he shrugged his shoulders. “Then I did. And got kicked out and live in a little one room apartment while my old friends have this giant sprawling mansion and shit now, who cares.”

“Do you think about that still?” he picked his head up curiously. “Do you think about hurting yourself or others?”

Magnus paused for a moment and thought. Who didn’t think about hurting themselves? You know, just get so frustrated and filled with nervous energy you had to hit yourself in the head a few times? And there was the time before last that he had hung out with Toki, where Toki had sat and talked and talked and talked for too long and Magnus had imagined grabbing his hair and slamming his face into the table to shut him up.

His mind flashed to a basement in an abandoned building. Silver chains and a silver face, both hungrily waiting for their captive.

“No,” he said softly. “I’ve gotten better with that.”

Twinkletits smiled. Checked his clock.

“You know, I gotta wind this down today but...thank you for opening up! Doesn’t it feel nice?” he stood as Magnus did, breaking the distance quickly. He held out a hand to shake and Magnus found himself taking it. His grip was stronger than he expected but metal couldn’t be limp wristed, could it? “I appreciate you opening up at all. We can continue this next time you stop by to hang out, okay? Toki can fill me in so I can make space for you. Oh, before you go-o-o-o-”

He turned to grab something from his desk. A sticker sheet. Magnus frowned as he watched those mechanical fingers peel one off.

“I’m not in Kindergarten. I don’t need a gold star,” Magnus grunted as he felt Twinkletits’ hand on the lapel of his jacket.

“Oh, this isn’t a gold star, buddy! It’s something better,” he beamed up at him. “It’s a banana sticker. For a job well done! You obviously don’t open up easily and I’m sure all that’s a sore subject, so even the little bit we talked about was probably a big step for you!”

Magnus looked down. Well, it sure was a banana sticker. Okay. Seemed a little too gay for his taste but whatever. He was just going to peel it off and toss it the second he could anyway. Twinkletits gave him a wave when he departed and Magnus was stopped outside of the therapist’s office by all but running into Toki dead on.

“Hows it go?” he asked excitedly, then his eyes found it. “Ohhh, you gots a stickers already?! That’s goods, it took me forevers to get ones! Man I gots to do somethings specials as we hangs out today!”

“What?” Magnus raised his eyebrows in confusion as he spoke, looking down at it. It was just a goddamn sticker.

“It’s a big deals! Means you dids a good jobs. I’m prouds of you, pals!” Toki said, face lighting up and eyes crinkling as he looked at Magnus.

Proud. For a sticker? But, Magnus tried to really think of when the last time someone told him they were proud of him. Whatever. He’d take it. He let out a little grunt as Toki wrapped his arms around him in a crushing hug and that gave him more pause. His arms hung by his side limply, his chest and throat suddenly hurt and Magnus wracked his brains for the last time that someone had given him a hug, either. More than ten years ago probably, five figures huddled in front of a camera to commemorate some successful show or something.

So Magnus kept the sticker. So what? It wasn’t anyone’s business if he did or not. Or if he kept the others that he accumulated over the next few months. Or if he found it easier to keep his hair up in a bun at this point. He’d been growing it for years, he could keep it up now and then. Or if he did a few other things, like wear a shirt now and then, change up his style a little bit. And there was a tiny part of him that found it funny as fuck when Dethklok stared at him with a mix of confusion and horror as Toki drug him into the living room of Mordhaus, proudly talking about his brand new friend.

#metalocalypse #kloktober #mine #magnus hammersmith #yes i skipped a few days my work is horrible my b <3

[ranboounlabeled]

Incorrect Quotes

So I had the bright idea one day to make incorrect quotes based on a DnD campaign and the players. Why not post them here? If any of them find this and request this to be deleted, I won’t mind. Blu - DM, any other character you don’t see listed here Tuck - Alzora Autumn/Me - Aria Maria - Yeet Bard - Tad Whipple - Niyana ~ Aria at 3AM: Alzora wake up Alzora, annoyed: What is it? Aria: If butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans/mobians in their stomach? Alzora: The rest of Team Supernova: Niyana: aria what the fuck Yeet: No no, wait. She has a point. Yeet: What if they’re mobian butterflies? Snipe: What if they just feel really tiny butterflies in their stomachs? Niyana: That’s morbid. ~ Aria: is pink panther a lion Alzora: say that again but slower Aria: i don't get it? Alzora: he's the pink PANTHER Aria: okay? but is he a lion? Alzora: Aria. he's a panther Aria: is that a kind of lion??? Alzora: no it's a fucking panther Aria: I just googled it. Are they not pink?  Alzora: AND LIONS ARE??? ~ Yeet: *gets shot* Shit. Alzora: Language! ~ Niyana: Is 4 alot? Aria/Alzora: Depends on the context. Aria/Alzora: Money? No. Aria/Alzora: Murders? Yes. ~ Yeet: Just a reminder that I'm non-binary so if you've got a crush on me, u gay bro ~

Alzora: if one of you says that stupid thing again I will not hesitate to give you frost bite Aria: aw that's so sad alexa play despacito Alzora: starting with you Alt idea from our DM (context, Alzora is an ice dragon and I compare her to Elsa alot): Aria: thats so sad, alexa play Let it Go. Alzora: you will die in 3 days ~ Niyana: THE FLOOR IS LAVA Yeet: *helps Snipe onto a chair* Alzora: *throws Aria off the table* revenge Niyana: There are two types of people ~ Alzora: If anyone says ‘mood’ ‘same’ or 'me’ in response to something I say ever again, I will throw you out the nearest window Yeet: Mood Aria: Same Niyana: Me Alzora calling tad: hello? Tad can you come here quickly? Tad: why what happened? Alzora: well lets just say there’s a gun in my hand, 3 dead bodies on the floor, blood on the walls floor and ceiling, and police on the way Tad: Tad: what Tad: The police are going to be there? Yeah, you're on your own ~ Aria: Mobius is a hot, molten core with a solid crust. Therefore, its a ravioli Alzora: Please stop Yeet, taking notes: No no let her finish ~ Aria: Comparing me and Alzora is like comparing apples to oranges. Aria: I mean, I like apples, and I really don't like oranges. Aria: Oranges are annoying. ~ nesta: fuck your cake! aria: 

~ Niyana: I’ve been working on my evil laugh! ‘Cause everybody’s got an evil laugh, you know, like... Ha ha ha ha HA! Like that. Alzora: Okay, here’s the thing. You’re not ready... for the evil laugh, okay, you can do a chuckle? Like a mildly upset chuckle? After MY evil laugh. ~ Snipe: You're smiling. Did something good happen? Aria: Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Niyana: Alzora tripped and fell down the stairs. ~ Yeet: So, why is Aria mad at you? Alzora: They sneezed and I accidentally said "shut the fuck up" instead of "bless you". Yeet: Alzora: Yeet: How do you accidentally say "shut the fuck up"?! ~ Alzora: Anyone who says 'uwu' or 'owo' again is being arrested for crimes against humanity! Aria: Cwimes against huwumanity. Alzora: I'm going to break your fingers. ~ Yeet, while crying: LOVE IS DEAD AND NEVER EXISTED! ALL YOU DID WAS BETRAY ME AS I LAY SICK AND FESTERING! YOU ARE THE DEFINITION OF DREAD! Snipe: Are you ok???  Yeet, crying even more: NIYANA STOLE MY FUCKIGN WEAPONS! [This breakdown is immediately followed by Yeet trying to beat the shit out of a 15 year-old] ~ Alzora: Good Morning!   Aria: Good Morning everyone Snipe: Good Morning. [ half of everyone else says their good mornings] Yeet: My god you all sound like robots! “good morning” this “good morning” that. Yeet: Spice it up!!! Niyana: HEY MOTHERFUCKERS ~ Alzora: *falls*  Alzora: Alzora: I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies. ~ Aria: Tall people are the enemy! Alzora: I'm sorry, I can't hear you from up here. Aria: I will tie your fucking shoelaces together and you won't even know it! ~ Niyana: But rules were made to be broken! Tad: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Nesta: Uh, pinatas. Alzora: Glow sticks. Yeet: Karate boards. Aria: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Niyana: And rules! Snipe: Don’t forget bones. Yeet: Ye-Wait no- ~ Aria: Onion rings are just vegetable doughnuts. Alzora, used to Aria: Sure they are, Aria. Aria: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. Alzora: Okay. Aria: Lasagna is just spaghetti-flavored cake. Alzora: … Aria, oblivious: Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions. Alzora, crying: Aria, please stop. Yeet, fascinated: No, continue. ~ Yeet: Hey, Snipe, what are you doing here? Snipe: This is where I come to cry. Yeet: What. Snipe: I said this is where I come to be a cool guy. ~ [loud crashing comes from Team Supernova's room, Tad runs in to find the room completely trashed] Tad: What happened in here!? [The rest of the Team are on an elevated surface]  Aria, on top of the bookshelf, shaking: We saw a spider... ~ Yeet: Isn’t it amazing what friends learn from each other? Aria: I learn a lot from Phin because he makes so many mistakes. ~ Aria: AVJDJAHDHSHS Tad: what is that? Aria: a keyboard smash Tad: how do I do it? Aria: just press anything Tad: 7 ~ Alzora: Bitch. Aria: Blocked. Alzora: Wait, unblock me, I need to tell you something. Aria: Unblocked. Alzora: Bitch. ~ Alzora: Don’t say a word. Aria: Aria: Fergalicious. Alzora: I said no words. Aria: Oh, I see. Two weeks ago playing Scrabble, it’s not a word. Now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you. ~ Aria: Olli? Why are you outside? It's pouring! Olli, drenched: The aesthetic, Miss Aria. Aria: Olli, please. Olli: ThE aEsThEtIc, MiSs ArIa! ~ Niyana: There’s no “i” in happyness. Aria: There is if you fuckin’ spell it right. ~ Niyana: Do you care if I take the skin off the Furby? Niyana: I want to make him a God. Once he is free of his sinful flesh he can begin the path towards enlightenment. He will take care of Us. Niyana: Also I want to softhack his circuits. Yeet: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that sentence ever again. Tad, not looking up from his sketch book: I could design some long furby designs if you need me to. ~ Stella: I have a mafia! Yeet: We have a Niyana. ~ Yeet: Bro. Snipe: What bro? Yeet: Tell the whole world we’re bros. Snipe: *whispers* We’re bros. Yeet: Why’d you whisper bro? Snipe: Because you’re my whole world bro. Yeet: B R O. ~ Yeet: Your house is burning down! You can only save one thing. What do you save? Aria: My house?? ~ Aria: Yeet, do you ever want to talk about your emotions? Yeet: No. Alzora: I do. Aria: I know, Alzora. Alzora: I’m sad. Aria: I know, Alzora. ~ Stella: *looking around in closet* What should I change into? Snipe: A better person. ~ Whatever characters Yeet writes into fanfiction: *hugging and vibing* Yeet: Who would ever want to harm such a loving relationship? Yeet, brandishing a pen: I WOOOOULD! ~ Yeet: Chillax~ Alzora: That’s not a word. Yeet: Sometimes the ones who deny “chillax” are the ones who need to chillax the most. ~ Aria: 13 year old me would be both terrified and in awe at who I am now. Niyana: 13 year old me wouldn't think I'd get this far. Yeet: I would fight a 13 year old me. ~ Snipe: Yeet came into my room in the middle of the night, I pretended to be asleep, and they stroked my hair for a minute then left. Are they planning to kill me??? Aria: No they just care about you, idiot. ~ Yeet: Well, I guess you could say I’ve fallen for you. Snipe: You just fell down seven flights of stairs, how are you even alive? ~ Yeet: I wish I could block people in real life. Alzora: A restraining order. Niyana: Murder. ~ Alzora: What the frick is wrong with you? Snipe: Please be more specific and resubmit with the proper paperwork. ~ [on a city bus] Stranger: Are you traveling for business or pleasure? Alzora, in full armor: Combat. ~ Aria: Who ate my fries? Yeet? Yeet: I don’t like fries. Aria: Snipe? Snipe: I don’t need food. Aria: Niyana? Niyana: …It was Alzora. Alzora: Yeah it was. Aria: wh ~ Alzora: They are completely literal people. Metaphors go over their heads. Yeet: Nothing goes over my head... my reflexes are too fast! I would catch it. ~ Yeet: Live by the ass, die by the ass. Tad: S t o p ~ Niyana: Is there a word that is a mix between sad and mad? Tad: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolate. Yeet: Smad. ~ Tad: If someone is trying to rob a civilian, what is the correct course of action? Yeet: T-pose to assert dominance Tad: No. Niyana: Say "Thank you Chaos, for this meal I'm about to have" and then- Tad, interrupting: even worse Yeet, taking notes: Wait, let her finish ~ Aria: Hey Alzora, do you think Snipe feels regret? Because i just saw him choke down one of Tad’s pancakes in half a second. Alzora: Snipe has only one emotion and that’s hubris. ~ Yeet: *peeling a banana* May I take your jacket lol Snipe: Do you think other people can't hear you? ~ Aria: You have to pick your battles, Alzora. Alzora: I’m full of rage and I’m picking all of them. ~ Nesta, T-posing in the hallway: Good morning, parental figure. Tad, not looking up from his coffee: Hello, problem child. ~ Yeet, throwing his head in Snipe’s lap: Tell me I’m pretty. Snipe, lovingly stroking their hair: You’re pretty fucking annoying, that’s what you are. ~ Yeet, hoarsely: I think I'm losing my voice. Niyana: Ha! That means you can't yell at me anymore! [later that day]  Niyana: Turns out, Yeet is scarier when they’re quiet. ~ Snipe: WE'RE SINKING IN DEEP WATER. Yeet: Don't worry. I learned this from a survival TV show. Yeet: OH TOOOOODLES-- ~ Niyana: Who else uses can openers to drink soft drinks? Yeet: This is extremely unhinged I must try it immediately. ~ Snipe: Boil up some mountain dew. It’s gonna be a long night. Aria: You could have said anything else. Yeet: fire burn and cauldron bubble, baja blast to fuel my trouble. ~ Aria: What do you want for dinner? Niyana: How about Sonic? Aria: *whispers* He's so fast how would we catch him-

#I can assure you there's much more but im tired #I'll reblog with more later #incorrect quotes #sonic incorrect quotes #sonic forces #dnd 5e #tad the duck #yeet #aria the jackal #alzora frost #niyana the cat #dnd incorrect quotes

[britishassistant]

But I Like One Piece (16)

Surprisingly, Lee wraps his head around the idea of reincarnation from another world the easiest.

“It’s like when children at the Orphanage are adopted.” He explains blithely. “The parents who take them away give them new names, so you can’t ask to visit or see how Shinpachi is doing anymore, but the person who was known as Shinpachi still exists. He just has a new life with a new name somewhere far away.”

There’s a moment of contemplative and slightly horrified silence.

“Huh.” She says. “I-I guess it is kinda like that. I am Mayu, I just...remember being someone else before that. Somewhere very, very different.”

“Mayu—” Her mother pinches the bridge of her nose. “How-how do you know that this—this other world even exists?”

Well, she’d known they’d need proof to believe her, one way or another. Hopefully this will be complex enough that it should suffice.

She takes a deep breath.

«It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the will of the fight, risin’ up to the challenge of our rival. And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night, and he’s watching us all with the eeeeeyyyyyyeee—of the tiger.»

Naruto grins. “Hey, it’s the singy thing!”

Lee gives a little round of applause. “You have a very nice voice, Mayu-chan!”

She tries not to blush and fails miserably.

Gai-sensei nods. “A most youthful tune, Mayu-chan. But do the sounds have any meaning?”

“Wait just a moment.”

All eyes turn to her father, whose head is hanging down, hair bracketing his eyes.

“Those sounds...aren’t they...”

She feels a drop of sweat slide down the back of her neck. Otou-san is the second son of a samurai clan after all; it’s no surprise that he can recognize a foreign language just by hear—

“They’re the noises you used to make when you were a little baby!!” Her father yells, pointing a dramatic finger at her.

“NO!!” She yells back, cheeks aflame. “Well, actually, yes, they kinda were, but they weren’t just baby noises!!”

Okaa-san gasps, pressing a hand to her cheek. “Dear, I can’t believe I couldn’t remember! You were so sweet, Mayu-chan, always going ‘aa dun uda’sta oo’.”

“That’s because I was trying to say «I don’t understand you»!” She groans, covering her eyes. “I didn’t understand this language back then! I just wanted to know what was going on!”

“Hey, hey, Mayu’s Tou-san,” Naruto says, eyes sparkling with mischief. “What was Mayu’s first word?”

Her father exhales and strokes his chin while looking off into the distance with a nostalgic twinkle in his eye. “Well, let’s see. She would’ve been about twenty months old or so—”

“IS NOW REALLY THE TIME FOR THIS STORY?!” She cuts in desperately. “I’m trying to prove the existence of another world by showing that I know a language that no one in this world has ever heard of and is far too insane for anyone with a brain to have made up!”

“Insane?” Says Lee, tilting his head in confusion.

“English is the pirate of languages.” She mutters darkly. “It goes around and beats up other languages and steals their words.”

“Is there anything about your past life that’s not related to pirates?!” Okaa-san asks, exasperation evident in her tone.

“I like pirates.” She says, hurt.

Her mother shoots her an unamused look. “Ketsugi Mayu...”

She holds up her hands in surrender. “Pirates were kinda mythical in my past life by the time I was alive. There were historical ones, but people romanticized them a lot. Like ninja.”

“What?! How dare they, that’s really rude, believe it!” Naruto fumes, crossing his arms. “...Kaa-san, what’s rom-an-ti-sized mean anyway?”

“It means they make up stories about them to make them seem...nicer.” Okaa-san explains. “Usually by pretending they aren’t as violent as they really are.”

“Oh.” Naruto thinks about this. “That’s dumb. Ninja are already cool, they don’t need to be nice.”

“Pirates are cooler.” She says.

“They are not—”

“Don’t start.” Her mother says in her scary week-long-ban-from-cooking voice.

“Yes Okaa-san.” They chorus.

“But wait.” Lee’s now frowning. “If the only ninja are historical, then how did countries in your past life defend themselves?”

“With armies of soldiers. Normal ones.” She replies. “ Though those might be replaced by flying robot drones by now. There used to be ninja in Japan—may still be even if only in name—but there wasn’t anything like chakra in my past life, so we developed technologically to fight each other instead. Now the world’s kinda in a stalemate peace because we’ve developed so far that the planet will become unable to support human life if we ever go all out.”

Lee stares at her, then drops his head, fists trembling in his lap.

Gai-sensei presses a hand to his shoulder. “Lee.”

She grows alarmed as tears begin to drip off of her friend’s face. Oh shit, she hadn’t meant to insult his dream. “Hey, Lee—”

“Mayu-chan.” His voice is surprisingly steady. “Did you mean everything you said? You aren’t making anything up?”

She hesitates but shakes her head, mouth twisting in consternation. “Yes. I did mean it. Lee, I’m sorry—”

Suddenly his arms shoot up in the air, fists still clenched. When he raises his head, his tears are sliding around a wide and dazzling grin.

“There’s a world of ninja without chakra.” He whispers, tone awed. “They don’t need chakra to become strong. To become ninja.”

Gai-sensei beams back and ruffles Lee’s hair into a haystack. “Of course! A youthful spirit and the willingness to work hard are what truly make a ninja!”

“And our Lee has that in spades.” Okaa-san says fondly, smoothing some of the now-haystack back into place. “You’ll be a fine ninja, I’m sure of it.”

Lee sniffs noisily. “Gai-sensei, Chie-oba-san...!”

“Yeah!” Naruto throws his arm over Lee’s shoulders. “An’ then you an’ me an’ Mayu-chan are gonna be on a kickass ninja team together, believe it!”

“I’m gonna be a pirate.” She interjects staunchly.

Naruto pouts at her for a moment, before he brightens again. “Fine then! Sakura-chan can be our third teammate, and Mayu’ll be the pirate mascot!”

“Sakura-chan?” Lee cries eagerly.

“Pirate mascot?!” She echoes indignantly.

Naruto sticks his tongue out at her triumphantly while her father and Gai-sensei turn away to muffle what sounds suspiciously like laughter.

She folds her arms and scowls at the stair in front of her while her mother pats her head consolingly.

Otou-san manages to get his chuckles under control enough to place a hand upon her and Lee’s shoulders. “We’ll always be very proud of you all, whether you’re a pirate mascot—” He fails to hide his snickering under her disapproving gaze, “—or a ninja. We just want you to be happy.”

“Jirou-oji-san!” Lee sniffs, eyes refilling with tears.

It takes another five minutes to get Lee and Gai-sensei to stop crying and hugging everyone in reach.

This is only exacerbated by the fact that her parents lose all rational sense and begin blushing and stuttering helplessly when they’re caught in Gai-sensei’s embrace.

Once everyone’s calmed down a bit, Naruto turns to her again. “So if this world was a story in your past life, does that mean you know the future, or any super cool jutsus?”

“No.” She says. “Because I never read that comic. I only ever read One Piece and argued with idiots who tried to say that that comic was better, which it obviously wasn’t.”

Her mother rolls her eyes at her as she lies, “I don’t even remember what that series was called, or any of the characters from it.”

Naruto narrows his eyes at her. “Then how’d you know you were here?” He fires back.

She stares at him as placidly as possible. He’s her best friend in this world—practically her brother in all but name. Lee is too, and Gai-sensei may as well be a third parent by this point.

She’s afraid of dying again, but she thinks that if it were for this family right here, her family, she’d face it with the kind of smile that only a D could muster.

She refuses to sentence Naruto to a miserable life of second-guessing and unearned guilt over things that he couldn’t possibly control.

Not this time.

Usopp, Nami and Robin give her the conviction to make this lie believable.

“The Hokage Monument.” She tells them smoothly. “It was in the background of almost every panel that idiots who liked the comic would try to show me. I didn’t remember where I recognized it from until I was about four years old though.”

Naruto doesn’t quite look convinced at first, but his expression becomes more accepting as he mulls it over.

Lee, bless him, just nods along trustingly.

Okaa-san tilts her head and stares at her with unnerving scrutiny.

Otou-san touches her mother’s arm, an eyebrow raised in concern, only for his wife to shake her head almost absent-mindedly.

Gai-sensei’s nose twitches.

She holds her breath.

His face breaks out into his usual beam. “I see! So the Will of Fire blazes strongly even in other worlds!”

She exhales, sending a mental thank you to the Rational Trio. “Yes. Any other questions?”

“Did you have a family in your past life?” Lee asks.

She flinches.

“Ah.” Lee’s smile is sad and understanding. “It’s okay if you didn’t—”

“I know it is.” She cuts in, grin feeling stilted. “It’s just—they weren’t anything to special. My Dad was a businessman and pretty strict. My Mum was a housewife and very spiritual. Kinda boring overall.”

Lee nods again, though he looks a little confused.

Okaa-san and Otou-san look...hurt.

She wants to hug them, but there’s a little part of her that whispers that doing so would be a betrayal. She forces herself to turn to a nicer topic.

“I did have a little brother, Harp.” She smiles to herself. “He’s a good kid, you guys would’ve loved him. He’s wizard at doing presentations and performances and things like that, really makes it easy to understand and believe what he’s saying, you know? He’s gonna be a famous actor when he grows up, or a politician, some really great speaker once—”

She freezes. “Shit.”

“Language!” Okaa-san says, but she barely hears her, knuckles white as her nails dig into her knees.

“I didn’t make a will.” She rasps. “I never made—and now they’ll get it all. They’ll take everything, and he’ll still be trapped.”

“Who will take everything?” Otou-san says, steely-eyed and serious. “Mayu, was someone you were related to threatening your family?”

She shakes her head. “Not—not threatening, exactly. S’just.” She makes an abortive movement with her hands. “Living with Mum and Dad was...not good. For me or Harp. They never got on with each other, and both of them were disappointed in us in their own way—anyway.”

“No, why were they disappointed?” Okaa-san says, eyes blazing. “I want to know what they thought was wrong with my little girl.”

“Okaa-san—” She tries to say, flattery and embarrassment warring inside her.

“Nothing’s wrong with Mayu-chan!” Lee interrupts, little chest puffed out. “She’s fine the way she is!”

“Lee—”

“Except that she does curry too spicy.” Naruto cuts in. “And argues with the Academy teachers a lot. But that’s not disappointing, believe it!”

She’s torn between the overwhelming desire to kick him in the shins and give him a great big hug.

Gai-sensei gives what, for him, counts as a discrete cough. “While I’m sure we can agree that Mayu-chan is one of the farthest things from disappointing there is, I believe you were in the process of explaining your dilemma?”

“Right.” She tries to will her cheeks to stop burning.

“Well, I had some money saved up so I could try to get Harp out—hire a good lawyer and see if, while Mum and Dad’s divorce was finalized, I could win custody so he’d get to live with me.”

“What’s divorce?” Lee asks.

“It’s when two people who are married decide they don’t want to be married anymore.” She explains. “So they go to a court of law to make it so they officially aren’t, and each person gets part of what they both owned.”

Naruto gasps, like the idea is somehow shocking to him. To be fair to him, the adults look equally scandalized, so she guesses that’s not exactly a common practice here. “You can do that?! But why? I thought married people were supposed to love each other forever.”

“Usually they do.” She says wearily. “But sometimes people fall out of love, or one person is hurt by the other, or both misunderstand the person they got married to. Dad thought a woman like my Mum would be very business-focused like he wanted. Mum thought a man like my Dad would be very spiritually enlightened like she wanted.”

Naruto looks confused but considering, so she moves on.

“Anyway, I had a lot of money saved up, but because I died without leaving anything that said how I wanted it to be used, Mum and Dad will take all of it, or at least argue over who should get the most of it in the divorce.” She clenches her fists. “And Harp’ll never see a penny.”

“Mayu-chan.” Naruto’s voice wavers slightly. “Did you not love your parents?”

For an awful moment, she’s struck by the paralyzing urge to say “No”.

Then the horror and guilt settle in her gut again like undercooked food and make her feel like she’s going to choke on bile.

“Wh—of course I loved them!” She sputters indignantly. “They were my Mum and Dad. You’ve got to love your Mum and Dad.”

“It’s okay if you didn’t!” Naruto holds up his hands placatingly. “They just don’t sound very nice! You said that they said you were a disappointment! And you didn’t want your little brother to be with them!”

He and Lee are staring at her wide-eyed, as if waiting for her to snap at them again. The same way Naruto and Kiba look around Sakura these days.

She takes a deep breath and tries to make her voice softer, gentler. “I’m sorry for yelling. It’s just, sometimes, you can love someone and know when they’re not very good at something, or in a position that they and other people aren’t happy they’re in. I did love my Mum and Dad, but they are the last people in that world I’d trust with a kid. It wasn’t their fault, but I thought if I could get Harp out, let him grow up happy—”

She shakes her head, worrying the scar on her lower lip.

She’d promised him she’d get him out.

She’d promised.

“How old were you?” Her father asks, voice low. “When...?”

She can’t bring herself to look at him, but he sounds weary down to his very bones.

“I was twenty years old.” She says to the stair in front of her.

“Is that.” Her mother hesitates for a moment. “Is that an old age to die at? Among the people of that world.”

She makes a face. “Nah. I’d been an adult for two years in the eyes of the law, but most people in my past life could expect to live until their lates eighties or nineties before dying of natural causes.”

She hears Gai-sensei whisper “late eighties or nineties” to himself in a tone filled with something like wonder.

It’s that wonder which spurs her to look up and say, “In fact, if you manage to live to your hundredth birthday, the Queen sends you a card wishing you a happy birthday and congratulating you. I had a friend whose great grandma got one.”

Only Gai-sensei looks as amazed by this information as she’d hoped they’d all be. Lee’s trying to muster up the same enthusiasm as their teacher, but he can’t quite. Naruto looks more confused than anything.

Otou-san and Okaa-san are just staring at her like they don’t recognize her.

It hurts too much to hold their gaze.

“How’d you die?” Naruto asks. “Were you fighting a bad guy?”

She rubs the back of her neck. “Not really. A man broke into the flat. I grabbed a knife. He freaked out and his gun went off. He said it was an accident.”

She hisses the last word with all the venom it deserves.

She doesn’t understand anymore why the One Piece anime tried to censor Belle-mere’s death by changing it from a headshot to a bullet to the chest.

A headshot is quick and painless, at least.

She’s so caught up in her own memories that she doesn’t hear her father’s question. “Pardon?”

“What was your name?” Otou-san’s voice is soft and understanding, even though his eyes are pitying.

“...The girl who died was called Tamara Kaur. Her friends called her Tammy or Tim-Tam for short.” She says, a mournful grin on her face. “My name is Ketsugi Mayu. I’ll be in your care, if you’ll have me.”

The quiet that follows this statement, half joke and half plea, is enough to make whatever hopes she was still desperately clinging to crumble like a sandcastle in the face of the tide.

There aren’t many more questions after that.

Aside from the pointed conversation that began with “so if the person Naruto mentioned really was a comic character, then who was the home invader?” and ended with her exasperated mother asking “What do you mean, you ‘accidentally created divinity’?”

She winces. “Kinda that? I just, I was praying to them for normal stuff, and then that day I prayed for help with cutting the lamb and ended up with an entire meal I didn’t remember cooking.”

Okaa-san stares at her for a long moment before burying her head in her hands. She makes a noise Mayu thinks might be a sob.

Otou-san pats her back awkwardly and shoots her what she thinks is meant to be a reassuring smile. “Your Kaa-san’s fine. She just...needs a moment.”

“So it was Sanji?” Naruto whispers to her.

She nods rapidly.

Naruto’s face splits into a grin so wide his eyes almost close. “Awesome.”

“I know.” She whispers back, hardly able to keep from smiling herself.

Okaa-san sends her to turn off all the taps and hang her clothes back up upstairs.

She supposes she has wasted enough water for one day.

She blinks in the mid-afternoon sun when she opens the door to her bedroom, ignoring the masks that are all but pressed against the shut window more out of habit at this point.

She feels too drained to even feel alarmed by their proximity to her home. Talking about her Mum and Dad always did that to her, even when she was in the same world as them.

A phantom hunger pang pierces her stomach.

She shudders at the memory. Oh Luffy, she hopes Harp got out quickly, that he didn’t have to grow up on meals that were either pigswill or denied to him entirely.

He’d be...what, eighteen, nineteen by now?

Reading about Sanji and the adventures of the Straw Hats used to help her get through those punishments.

She sends a prayer to them now that Harp didn’t have to learn how to do that himself.

Otou-san, Okaa-san, and Gai-sensei are discussing something in low, serious voices when she comes back downstairs.

They quiet down for a bit when she steps between Lee and Naruto to get to the kitchen.

When she returns to the hallway, Gai-sensei pats her shoulder with a little too much force, shooting her a megawatt beam and a thumbs up.

“Do not worry, Jirou-san, Chie-san! I am certain that there will be no cause for concern for yourselves or Mayu-chan!”

Otou-san heaves a sigh. “We have every faith in you. It’s just—”

Okaa-san lays a hand on Gai-sensei’s arm. “Please, Gai.”

He solemnly takes her hand in one of his own, reaching out to grab her father’s arm with the other. “Everything will be as it always is. I swear it to you.”

The adults’ eyes seem to glisten as they stare at each other.

She glances at Naruto and Lee, eyebrow raised.

Naruto gives a quizzical shrug. Lee’s almost vibrating as he stares at their parents, eyes wide.

She hates to break up the moment, but there’s an elephant in the room that needs addressing.

She coughs a little. “Um, Okaa-sama, Otou-sama?”

Her parents look over at her, shoulders stiffening.

She worries the scar on her lower lip. “I, ah, just wanted to say, that if you need some time to-to process what I’ve told you, and you don’t want me a-around for it, I can get out of the house, go somewhere else for as long as you need me to—”

Otou-san and Okaa-san stare at her, expressions of pure horror on their faces.

Shit, has she really overstepped by that much? “O-or if you don’t want me to come back, I could always try to find o-other living arrangements for myself—”

“YOU FOOL!”

The slap to the back of her head isn’t nearly as painful as most of the blows she’s weathered during training, but the sheer surprise of the attack has her clutching it and looking up in bewilderment.

Gai-sensei looks madder than she’s ever seen him.

“...Or I could leave the village entirely?” She meekly suggests, unsure of what to say to appease her teacher’s anger.

“And when did anyone ever say they wanted you to leave?!” Gai-sensei booms.

What?

She blinks in confusion. “But I’m not who you thought I was, I have—”

“Are you Ketsugi Mayu?” Her mother asks, voice drier than an over-baked cake.

“Yes—”

“And do you enjoying cooking and feeding people?” Okaa-san walks towards her and leans down.

“Well, yes, but—”

“And you have an obsession with pirates that leads you to act without thinking a lot?” Her mother reaches out and grabs her cheeks.

“It’s not an obsession—” She feebly tries to argue through pursed lips.

“Then you are my daughter.” Okaa-san says. “And you are going to stay right here where I can see you, and we are going to lay down some ground rules about contacting strange deities, do you hear me young lady?!”

She’s so alarmed by the sight of angry tears gathering in her mother’s eyes that she just nods her head as best as she can in this grip.

Okaa-san lets out a little sob and then she’s being enveloped in a crushing hug by both of her parents.

Otou-san murmurs, “Our family stays together, damn what anyone may think. Even if we have enemies on all sides, the Ketsugi clan will weather any blows. Didn’t we already tell you that?”

Then she feels Lee and Naruto’s little arms squeezing her from behind, and the gentle weight that means Gai-sensei has joined the hug too.

“Please don’t go Mayu.” Naruto says, sounding small and scared. “Please.”

She can’t help it when she starts bawling like a little kid again.

#but i like one piece #my writing #one piece #naruto #reincarnation #isekai #naruto uzumaki #maito gai #rock lee #naruto oc #ketsugi chie #ketsugi jirou #ketsugi mayu #bottle episode #eye of the tiger #good parents #bad parenting #past life