In a world where it's not on trend to live a Christian lifestyle, I would like to see my generation become some of the most radical, Jesus loving FREAKS of all time.
There was a time I felt the need to hide my faith. I felt it didn't fit me and was an out of place aspect of my identity. Felt the need to seperate myself from my Jesus because you can't be A, B or C and be Christian... right? I was so wrong. I was wrong to think I must deny my individuality to be a follower of Christ or deny my Christ to be an individual.
I was ashamed of Christ in all His glory, but He was not ashamed of me in all my filth. He is proud to call me daughter as I should be proud to call Him Father. I am now.
In the Bible, demons knew Paul by name. Young brothers and sisters in Christ... let us live our lives so that we never have any doubt whether Hell fears us.
"But whosever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in Heaven." Matthew 10:33
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“I never knew you; depart from Me.”
What? He was joking. He had to be.
I wanted to laugh it off. To see him smile like he always did, to feel his warm embrace. But I was terrified.
But there I stood before his throne, my legs giving out and leaving me on my knees before him. I needed to speak, to make sure this was some sort of misunderstanding.
“Father…what’re you saying?” I whispered. My body was trembling, and my heart was pounding. Sure, I’d made mistakes. Plenty of them. But he’d always forgiven me. He’d made it better. He said he loved me.
“Depart.”
I flinched at his command. What had I done? My mind was racing with every regret I’d had, every mistake and bad choice, every sin. I didn’t want to leave him, not ever. I loved him.
“P-Please,” I whimpered. Immediately tears ran down my cheeks. Not at the thought of going to hell, but at the idea of being apart from him for eternity.
But he didn’t look back. I was nothing to him.
I felt a strong pair of arms lift me from the ground and pull me away from him. From his light. From his love.
“Baby?”
The soft voice stirred me out of my nightmare and my eyes slowly opened to meet his. I was speechless, blinking back tears that only pushed through and soaked my cheeks.
“Daddy?” I whimpered.
The dream had felt so real. Too real. I almost didn’t believe this was him. The real him. But the relief was overwhelming.
I crumbled into his arms and broke down. I had really thought it was over, that he’d rejected me, abandoned me forever.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
He looked so concerned, and beautiful. He was so beautiful. I just cried into his chest and clung to his waist. He was a lifeline, something I would never let go of.
“I thought you didn’t want me anymore,” I choked out. I could hardly breathe with how panicked I was over the dream, but the instant his arms wrapped around me, I felt safe.
“Didn’t want you anymore?” he repeatedly softly. I just nodded, unable to even lift my head because of how scared I’d been.
“Like in the verse,” I whimpered, pointing at the Bible on my nightstand with a shaky hand, “last night, we read Matthew 7. Depart from me, I never knew you. That’s what you said.” I cried.
His arms tightened around my waist and I could feel his lips plant the softest kiss on my forehead.
“Listen to me, sweet girl”
His hand came to wipe my tears away and lift my chin until our eyes met.
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name? And then I will declare unto them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’ That is what we read yes? In Matthew 7?”
“Yes,” I mumbled into his chest. I could feel him trying to calm me down, his fingers moving to gently brush through my hair.
“Yes, that’s right, little one. Not everyone who says to me ‘Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father. And you have done well, my love.”
“I have?” I whimpered. I knew I should believe him, but I didn’t. I sinned all the time. Every day.
“Yes, you have done well. Sure, you make mistakes, but you try your hardest to follow me and love me with all your heart. You’re such a good girl, and I’m proud of you.”
It didn’t make sense. Part of me still felt like I was dreaming, that this mercy couldn’t be true.
But it was.
My grasp around him only got stronger. “You know I love you, right?” I whispered. It was true, I did love him. More than anything.
“I know, baby. I know.”
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