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#bruce wayne and his kids
soybento · 11 months
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love seeing batman drawn in increasingly formless and vague shapes and the only identifiable details about him are the eyes of his ten children inside his cape
It implies a certain omnipotence to his parenthood, like if you took away everything there was to take away from batman as *batman*, all that'd be left is his absolute parental spirit
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sistertotheknowitall · 2 months
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My current on-going obsession/hyperfixation with Batman is thriving thanks to the fandom. Particularly the BatFamily fandom, particularly any interaction of Brucie Wayne and his 10+ kids.
Like -
Valley Girl Bruce Wayne lives in my head rent free. (@red_finch on tik-tok does skits and I love it)
Bimbo Bruce Wayne and his equally ditzy eldest, amazing. (I don’t get nearly enough of Dick being the little shit that he is)
Tired Dad-Bruce and the gremlins he barely (if at all) keeps under control. (Their favorite pass time is raising his blood pressure)
Trying-to-be-a-good-parent Bruce and his brood of Traumatized (TM) half feral children (I’m always thinking about hurt/comfort).
I love cannon, but it has hurt me too often. DC gave us Wayne Family Adventures and it gives us so much. The fandom, however, has and continues to give me more. ❤️
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ikiprian · 1 month
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ugh i know bruce probably has some lame ass ubiquitous american broadcast voice, but SO BADLY i want him to have just. the world’s THICKEST jersey accent
“jason peetah, swear ta god, i’m gonna cawl alfred and get ‘im to tawk some sense into ya. do you want him to know what you been up to? yeah no. yeah no! ‘swhat i thought! yeh breakin ya butler’s heart!!”
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p1nkshield · 1 year
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Reporter: Tell us Bruce, why have you recently decided to work out more? Do you just want to compete with our Clark? Or is it-
Bruce: My kids.
Reporter: I’m sorry what?
Bruce: I work out so I can still lift them.
Reporter: …
Bruce: if you have nothing else to ask I’m going to leave now. Let’s go Jaylad.
Bruce just picks up Jason and leaves.
Jason looks like a large dog that clearly isn’t used to being in the air.
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Like this.
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frownyalfred · 25 days
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random people in the Justice League: man Batman is so tough on those kids. I bet he trains them ruthlessly at home. that must suck so much.
Bruce Wayne, assembling all of his kids into the Cave at 2 AM on a Wednesday for weirdly intense “bonding” time: so here’s the overview on how to crush someone’s fingers while shaking their hand and pretend it’s their fault. there’s several techniques, defensive and offensive, that all depend on initial thumb placement—
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deadsetobsessions · 3 months
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Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.
“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”
God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.
Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.
“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”
“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”
“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”
Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.
“What happened?!”
“My word, master Danny!”
“What is it?!”
“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”
Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.
“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”
“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.
“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.
“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”
The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.
“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”
“Danny.”
“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.
“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.
Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.
“Sorry.”
“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.
“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”
Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…
“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”
“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.
“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”
The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.
“Done.”
“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”
“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”
“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”
“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”
“Very well.”
“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.
——
“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”
“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.
“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”
“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”
Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.
“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”
“Tt.”
“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”
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dudedidujust · 1 month
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Au where Damian comes to Gotham with the goal of infiltrating and eventually overthrowing Batman instead of inheriting the mantle. Not much changes from canon except for the fact that he views everything that batman owns as his. That's his future cave and his future batmobile. This also includes his robins. After all everyone knows Batman wouldn't really be Batman without them.
Cue a very bewildered Tim being lectured on his eating habits by a righteous Damian who won't let one of his people take shortcuts with their health.
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abisalli · 1 year
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bring your kid to work day 
★bonus:  he’s impressed 
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arttuff · 3 months
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brucie wayne is not immune to the sudden urge to hug his son
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astorianyxkings · 5 months
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There's always people theorizing how the Batfamily hides Jason disappearance and reappearance, but I literally haven't seen anyone use the best explanation: Witness Protection.
Like this literally answers every question. The Death Certificate? They had to fake his death. The empty grave? Obviously it had to be believable. The time when Wayne Heir "Richie Wayne" refused to step foot in Gotham and talk to his father? He was pissed about Jason's (non) death. Brucie Wayne's very real depression after his death? Well he lost contact with his son and he was under immense stress from the government.
Like this literally answers every question I can come up with. Why has no one said he was in witness protection? And if people have done it, send me fics and prompts because I'm obsessed.
And the best part is, the Waynes are so stupidly rich that they could pull it off. Lex Luther could try and conduct his own investigation but somehow he can never find anything concrete. And if he gets too close either Babs hacks them or Tim just calls up Conner for a distraction.
One time Jason gets cornered and asked how he felt about returning to his life after being in Witness Protection. Unfortunately, him and Bruce weren't on the best terms to explain the whole story but he comes in clutch. He spins the tale about how heartbroken he was to see his brother, father and grandfather grieving and how honored he was when he learnt his new little brother idolized him. Tim got ahold of a copy of the interview and will never let Jason live it down.
The media doesn't ask Bruce questions about Jason's death because last time they did he broke down and a suddenly furious reporter chastised them and reminded them that while Jason may be alive Bruce still mourned his death. The picture of Bruce in tears at the interview is currently one of Jason's favourite lockscreens.
Same goes for Dick. Any questions of his brother's death results in (1) Richie Wayne ready to throw hands at any and everybody, (2) his wife (well one of them) Barbara Gordon threatening the reporters or (3) That same Metropolis reporter chastising the whole community again.
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soybento · 10 months
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Jason : hunts down and decapitates 8 people, continues murdering by establishing himself as a crime Lord, stabs and shoots his brothers multiple times
Batman fandom : aww but he's been hurt!! By the Big Bad Joker :(( ahhh my poor, precious baby!!! come here, yes, okay, you can keep your guns, Bruce is a meanie, yes he is, we know, promise we'd kill the joker for u, shhh, we'd do it just <3 for <3 you <3
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bbbbbbbbatman · 6 months
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Bruce and Clark start dating and Clark finds himself spending more time around the batkids and whenever he's losing an argument he just says "yeah? well I fucked your dad."
It's very effective.
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bet-on-me-13 · 2 months
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Danny holds an Intervention for Brucie Wayne.
So! Danny is the head of R&D at WayneTech, and he often works closely with Bruce and Lucius when they want him to make "Proof of Concept" Gadgets and Vehicles. He doesn't question the absurdity of some of the stuff he builds, he was raised by Mad Scientists after all, all of it seems perfectly normal to him!
But he has noticed something concerning about his Boss.
He really needs to get his Partying in control. Every time he comes into work he has eyebags covered by makeup, some bruises from tripping while drunk, and he is always super cagey about what he did last night. Danny asked some of his coworkers about it, and they noticed it too.
They also bring up that he sometimes comes into work with a really foggy mind, which is probably the aftereffects of doing some kind of drugs at whatever party he was at the previous night.
Even his Hangovers seem really bad! Worse than usual, but he powers through them and keeps acting like his normal Himbo self! Danny realizes that Bruce needs to calm down. He has Kids to take care of, and Alfred needs less work on his plate
So he contacts a bunch if Bruce's Friends, his Family, and even a few coworkers who brought up their concerns to him, and he stages an Intervention.
...
Bruce didn't know what to expect when he walked into the conference room at Wayne Enterprises. He had been called in by Danny, his head of R&D, for a Meeting earlier that day, but Danny had failed to explain the purpose of the Meeting.
He had barely made it on time. He had spent the entire night chasing down Scarecrow, and a slip up had caused him to get hit by some Fear Toxin, which took forever to work its way out of his system. It didn't help that the Antidote gave him a splitting headache.
Bruce opened the door to the Conference Room, and was met with a mishmash of faces. Clark was sitting close to the head of the Table, with Lois at his right, and Diana to hers. In the crowed he could also see Dick and Steph holding in barely contained laughter, with Tim looking a little lost to the side. Damian looked as if he would rather be anywhere else, Duke was looking as list as Tim, and Cass was just smirking at him with a look of amusement.
He could also see the faces of various employees of Wayne Enterprises, among them being Lucius and Tam.
What was going on?
The door closed behind him, and he turned to see Danny standing behind him.
"Bruce, this is an Intervention."
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noxcheshire · 2 months
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I just think
It’d be really neat if Danny looked more like Martha Wayne than Thomas Wayne.
LIKE
I love the Danny Fenton looks like Thomas Wayne or Danny Fenton is Thomas Wayne reincarnated — but the BEAUTY of Martha??
Of Alfred interacting for under five minutes with Danny, dabbing his eyes and going, “That is indeed Martha,” I WANT IT. I want Martha who was spunky and sassy and wanted to do good for her town the same way Danny wants to do good for Amity Park.
I want Martha who loved to take Bruce and the family out to star gaze because her baby had never seen the stars before, and the way his eyes light up like a mini galaxy takes her breathe away the same way that Danny feels when he turns his head up to the sky yearning for something he knew loved but doesn’t know what.
I want Martha who would literally find trouble in a paper bag because she can’t help her curiosity the same way Danny can’t help tripping over his own ghostly tail and making a mess of things before he figures things out.
I want Martha who would fight men who thought they held power, going absolutely feral from stress the same way Danny does when he’s tired of not being able to do his homework or pick up a vacuum against the wall to clean because ghosts.
I want Martha who loved the pearl necklace that Bruce had picked out for her birthday, and Danny reaches towards his neck and startles when his fingers only touch skin when he is certain there was something supposed to be there. I want Danny whose eyes linger on whites and pearls when he passes by open window stores in the mall, fingers itching to flick a nail against the smooth surfaces.
I want Martha who died bleeding underneath the hand of a gun, hoping to everything above that her boy would be safe, and Danny whose body burns at merely looking at the makeshift guns his parents create in the lab, his heart pounding desperately with a yearning to save there was someone she wanted to save the ghosts.
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frownyalfred · 13 days
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“people in the JL hate Batman because he’s so strict” nah. people in the JL hate Batman because all of their sidekicks wanna hang out and train with the batfamily and come home asking questions like “so when are you going to get a plane?” and “why don’t you know how to do [complex judo move]?”
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p1nkshield · 1 year
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Bruce being just as guilty of introducing Jason to people like he is but a small little guy.
Bruce at gala supporting youth literary comprehension programs: Have you met my son Jason? As stubborn as kids can be I managed to get him to attend.
Beneficiary: oh that’s wonderful! Does your son enjoy literature?
Bruce: oh absolutely! That’s what convinced him to even come! He has so many respectable hobbies for someone his age. Kids these days rarely find value in the classics but not Jason! Honestly he reads more, and more in depth, than I do! He’s a little mechanic too! When I first saw him he was trying to take the tires off my car with a lug wrench that was bigger than him! It was quite a sight and a rather unconventional way to meet your son but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Beneficiary, blinks as they try to process all the proud dad info: …well that’s lovely, we have some activities for the children of the donors so that none of them get too bored!
Bruce: that’s great! I’ll let him know. Jason, can you come here for a moment?
A very tall, wide, and muscular man turns around and raises an eyebrow.
What a coincidence, that dude must also be named Jason.
He walks towards them
Jason: what do you want old man?
What
Bruce: there are activities at that table if you’re bored.
Huh
Jason: thanks for the memo but I’m not exactly at coloring book age anymore remember?
Bruce: I suppose you’re right :(
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