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gretavangroupie · 9 months

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Vigilance (Chapter 22 Part 2)

Word count: 18.7k

Pairings: Jake x Reader, Sam x OC

Warnings: Alcohol, Cursing, Dramatic Themes. Angst Including: Talks of Infidelity, Toxic Themes, Stalking, Arguing, Yelling, Extreme Portrayal of Sadness, Crying, Abandonment, Heartbreak, Talks of Illness, Extreme Illness, Hospitalization, Talks of Death and Dying, Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Physical Violence. Talks of Pregnancy, Pregnancy Complications, Pregnancy Loss/Termination. Smut Including: Kissing, Touching, Fingering, Oral F!Receiving, Oral M!Receiving, Penetration, Rough Sex, Voyeurism. Fluff.

This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.

SAM POV

“Is there a faster setting for these windshield wipers? Cause these things are shit.” You asked Elle as you pulled into the tiny neighborhood in Cape Cod, peering through the thick falling raindrops to see if any of the buildings looked like the one in the Air BnB photos. You’d flown into Boston and rented a car, the perfect small-town birthday getaway, all planned by your lovely Elle.

“Oh, there it is, babe! That one on the corner. It says we can park on the street.” Elle said, pulling on the rain boots she’d ditched the minute you got in the car.

You pulled the car up as closely as you could to the front door of the tiny old house, situated perfectly on a row of about ten others that looked just the same. “It’s so cute!” Elle muttered.

“I can’t even see it, it’s raining so hard!” You yelled over the loud drops pounding on the sunroof. “Let’s wait a second while it calms down before we take everything inside.”

“Mmm…okay.” She complained.

“So anxious to get inside, babe…?” You said, running your hand over the back of her head.

“Maybe. Yes. I’ve just planned this so quickly in the last few days, thinking we were gonna be out on the road instead of getting to do something special. I just can’t believe we actually made it, is all.” She leaned back into your touch, calming her jittery and excited nerves.

You offered her a smile. “I’m excited too, babe. I can’t believe we made it either, honestly. And thank you, for planning this. You’re the best.” You sighed, watching as the rain let up a bit. “We should be soundchecking right now.”

“I’m sorry, love. I know you’d rather be out there playing.” She relented.

“No, no. Not rather. Not rather at all. It’s just you get yourself in this mindset to go and do something like that, it takes a long time to get yourself there. Then it just stops. But it’s okay, shit happens. Jake needs to heal more than anything. Top priority.” You said, giving her a little smile.

“Yes. Top priority. He will be okay, babe. Just needs some time.” She said, clicking the toes of her boots together. “Ready to go in now?”

——

You’d spent the afternoon making yourselves at home in the little house, a quaint place right on the water. The air still had a wintery feeling, but it didn’t stop the place from slowing down. You’d decided to take a walk down into town once the rain turned to a drizzle, seeing what all you could find in your short stay. It was straight out of a Hallmark movie; Main Street still bustled with people and tourists even this time of year.

You picked out a few spots you wanted to come back and visit, making mental note to remember them. Restaurants, record stores, gift shops…everything you needed in one little place.

It had gotten fairly late, and after a tiny takeout dinner, you had retreated to the oversized couch to watch a movie as you both let the jet lag set in.

“So tomorrow. Your birthday. You pick what we do, the whole day.” Elle said as the two of you cuddled up under a blanket when the movie was over.

“The whole day?” You said, scratching your peach fuzz.

“Yep. Morning into night.”

You picked her legs up from the floor and brought them to rest in your lap, massaging her muscles. “Hmm, well I think we should start off taking a shower, and you can wash my hair with that smelly-good stuff you have…” you let your hand travel up her leg, fingers digging into her thigh.

“Then we can walk down to that Bread & Roses place and get coffee…then spend the day just exploring, maybe go out on the boat and see the humpbacks…” your hand ghosted over the hem of her sweatpants, fingers slipping in just barely as she let her eyes bore into yours.

“Mmmhm, then what?” She said.

“Then we can come back and get ready for dinner, you can put on that sexy black dress I saw you put in your suitcase…” your hand snuck below her waistline now, hand grazing over her heat. She smirked hard.

“You saw that, huh?” She asked, clicking her tongue. “That was supposed to be a surprise, Sammy.”

“It still will be, baby. You never cease to surprise me. So then we can go get some seafood, and drink too much wine…” you watched as she began to lose composure at your touch, as you slipped a digit between her folds.

“Way too much wine…” she breathed, arching her back just a little.

“Wayyy too much…” you agreed, allowing your hand to go to work as you maintained eye contact.

“Then we can cuddle up right back here again, and do this again…and again and again…” you slipped your middle finger inside her as her legs fell open under the blanket, and her jaw fell slack.

You sat still, half of you wanting to grab her and take her into the bedroom, the other half wanting to sit here and undo her, with her completely at your will.

You watched as her hands stayed under the blanket, gripping your thigh underneath you. Her face was contorting into beautiful and blissed-out expressions as you worked, hooking your finger slowly deep inside her. “Again and again?” She panted.

“Uh huh, as many times as you want…” you replied, moving your thumb to make tiny swirls on her sweet spot.

“How’s that feel, baby? Feel good?” You asked her, voice low and gravely against the sound of the rain picking back up again.

“Yeah, feels so good…” she moaned a high pitched sound, letting you know she was enjoying herself. “But Sammy, it’s your birthday. You should be the one getting all the special treatment.”

“Eh, yeah maybe. But watching you like this…it’s it’s own special kind.” You began moving your pace a bit faster, adding another finger inside her.

Her head tilted back as her hands gripped your leg harder, completely falling apart right here on your lap. She hummed and gasped for air, her knees opening and closing over and over.

"Sammy, please…keep goi-"

“We’ve got three whole days for you to treat me, baby. Right? You gonna do that for me later, too?”

She nodded hard as her hips began to grind up into your hand. “Of course I will baby. Whatever you want. It’s all yours...” She brought her eyes to yours again, giving you a look that came straight from another world. God this woman…

You brought your face closer to hers, gritting your teeth. “You know what I want right now, Eleanor…go ahead and give it to me…” you growled in her ear.

Seconds later she was coming undone at your words, riding out her high as you continued to move your hand in and out of her, mouthfuls of pitiful words falling from her lips. You swear you could never get enough of her like that, and you weren’t sure you would ever get tired of it. Even if you got nothing in return, just watching her fall apart at your mercy was enough.

“Fuck Sam, that was…a welcome surprise.” She laughed, letting her arm fall over her eyes. “I like the idea of us just doing that kind of thing over and over and over again..” She sat up a bit, wrapping her arms around your neck. “What time is it?”

You clicked your phone screen on the table. “11:49.”

“Close enough.” She popped out from under the blanket, and dashed into the bedroom and then into the kitchen. You heard the refrigerator door open and close, and a few seconds later she was coming back into the room with a plate, with a lit candle sticking out of something on the top.

“Happy birthday to Sammy, happy birthday toooooo Sammy…” she sang, a giant smile on her face as she held her hand in front of the flame while she walked. She set the plate down in front of you. “Make a wish, silly!” She beamed.

You smiled hard at her, rubbing your hands together as you closed your eyes, making a scene out of making your wish.

For the love of all that is holy, please let this discussion I’m about to have with Elle go smoothly, please don’t let her leave me, and please help her to know that she’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me…

You opened your eyes, and blew out the candle. She clapped her hands and took the candle out, bringing the plate up in front of your face. You could hardly make out what it was in the dim light of the room.

“That smells amazing, what is that?” You asked.

“My granny’s old recipe for homemade cinnamon rolls!” She answered, running her finger along the top of it, taking some icing and licking it off.

“When did you make these?!” You asked.

“When you were out running errands the other day. Here, try some…” she handed you a fork and you both dug in.

“Holy shit, Elle. That’s the best fuckin thing I’ve ever eaten. Please marry me tomorrow.” You said with a full mouth.

She blushed hard. “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!” She laughed, sitting back onto the couch and covering herself with the blanket. You placed the plate back on the table, and laid back with her.

You were trying your damnedest to find the right time to talk to her, tell her what you’d done. You knew it wasn’t going to be pretty, and you absolutely expected the worst. You deserved anything she threw your way, and you’d prepared yourself for her to pack her things and leave when you got back home.

But for right now, her yawns were becoming more and more frequent. And you decided it could wait until tomorrow. For now, you’d let yourself enjoy the peace of her presence, just for a little while longer.

“Happy birthday, Sammy.” She said as she gave you the sweetest look, adoration filling her to the brim. It hurt your heart, to know that tomorrow you’d probably be breaking hers.

——

The next morning you and Elle walked hand in hand along the beach, picking up shells as you sipped your coffees. It was chilly and breezy, and the beach wasn’t too crowded just yet. There was more rain in the forecast though, calling for heavy showers and colder temperatures all night.

“Oh my god babe, look!” You suddenly called out, picking a shell up from the sand and bringing it over to her. “It’s abalone! This is my favorite shell!”

You both examined it, cleaning off the bits of sand to let the iridescent rainbow colors shine through.

“Guidance.” Elle said.

“What?”

“These symbolize guidance, within like, relationships and love.” She went on, giving you a tiny sweet smile. “Are you looking for guidance with something, Sammy?”

Uh, fuck. Yeah, kinda. Wow.

You shrugged, gulping down a hard swallow. “Guess it’s always cool to have a little extra help from the…ocean, hah.”

Elle giggled. “So how does 23 feel?” She asked, pushing her heavy waves behind her ear. The oversized sweater she had on was draping over her shoulder, sitting perfectly on her tiny frame.

“Feels like 22 but cooler.” You answered, kicking through the icy water, sticking the abalone in your pocket. “How is 24?”

“It’s the best year I’ve had yet.” She smiled, always being the glass half-full type of person.

“It has been a good year, hasn’t it?” You answered. “Except for, well, our most recent bummer. Hopefully this doesn’t set the pace for the rest of tour…”

“I hope not.” Elle went on. “You wanna walk down to the pier and get a sandwich or something?”

The two of you made your way to get lunch, stopping at little gift shops along the way. You’d ended up underneath the pier after you ate, the air slowly getting cooler as a drizzle blew in. Elle was standing next to one of the pier beams, looking at all the clusters of barnacles stuck to the sides.

“Elle sells sea shellllls…” you sang as you approached her. “Ew, that’s gross. What are all these things?” You asked, flicking away at some of the crusty old growths.

“Don’t take them off! They’ll die if you remove them!” Elle swatted your hand away.

“Shit, my bad.” You hopped back, hands up in surrender.

“Look, babe…” she pulled her arm in front of her, gently grabbing a tiny shell from the cluster. “Ammonite…” she said, bringing it close to her face.

“Well great, now it’s gonna die!” You complained.

“No, this isn’t a barnacle, dummy. It’s an ammonite shell. Do you know how rare these are? And look, it’s opalized…” She said quietly, the wind blowing her hair in front of her face.

“No, I don’t guess… how do you know all this stuff?” You inquired, truly impressed that she did. “You didn’t even grow up near the ocean…”

“I know a lot of cool things, Sammy.” She said blankly, still closely inspecting the perfect spiral shell, in pure awe that she found it.

“Why don’t you keep it? I can make you a necklace or something out of it.” You suggested.

“Really? Can you?” She said, finally smiling.

“Sure. Couldn’t be too hard. Little dremel action. I’ll figure it out.” You promised her. You knew you’d give her anything in the world if it meant she’d give you that sweet smile again.

“I’ll wear it every single day. Never take it off.” She said, slipping it in her coat pocket for safe keeping.

“And what does the mighty ammonite shell symbolize, oh Wise Knower of All Things Ocean?” You teased.

She rolled her eyes and laughed again. “Change. Just, change.”

——

The rain was falling heavier now, as you and Elle munched on your seafood takeout, opting to stay in with your dinner and wine instead of going out. She’d set the table nicely, lit candles and transferred all the food from the to-go boxes onto nice plates. You cracked a few windows, letting the smell of the rain mixed with the ocean air blow in slightly through the house. You were nearing the bottom of your first bottle of Chardonnay, fully intending on starting the second bottle the minute it was empty.

“Babe, you didn’t have to put the sexy black dress on, I was just kidding.” You joked.

She scoffed. “Of course I did, it’s your birthday. Gotta wine you, dine you, and give you a show. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t?”

You giggled. “I’m also glad you got oysters. You know what they say abou-”

“Sam. We all know. You say it every single time we eat oysters…” she rolled her eyes as she sipped her wine.

“What? No I don’t, it’s true though…” you defended yourself.

“I know it is.” She sighed. “That’s why I ordered them.”

“That’s my girl…” you gave her a flirty and devilish laugh. “You’re already killing me in that dress, it’s…truly something. Hope these oysters work their fuckin’ magic…” you said.

She stood from the table, swishing her hips from side to side, knowing she was giving you a show. “All finished, Samuel?” She asked in a sultry voice as she leaned down low, putting her boobs in your face as she took your plate.

“Yes…all done…” you were quickly falling into her trap, getting more turned on with every passing second just by watching her.

“I’ll do the dishes later, we’ve got other things to attend to, hm?” She said, walking back over and straddling you in the chair. She brushed your hair back, hands wrapped around your face as she took you in. Finally she connected her lips to yours, brushing her wine-soaked tongue into your mouth. Her hands wrapped around your head and your neck as she started kissing you harder, giving you immediate indication of exactly what she wanted. God, you were already so turned on, but, you were also bursting at the seams to tell her. You had to talk to her, right now.

You pulled away quickly. “Stop. Elle, stop.”

“What, babe? What’s wrong?” She said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

You began to stand the two of you up, hand in hand, walking to the couch to grab the blanket and lead her into the sunroom. The wall was nothing but big windows, a perfect view of the now stormy waves blowing up onto the beach. There was another giant couch in here, plush and white and covered with pillows. You sat down, motioning for her to join you.

She sat, and you threw the big blanket across you again. “What is it, Sam? You’re scaring me. Is something wrong?”

“No. Well, yes. Yeah, actually.” You took a breath as you took her hands under the blanket, preparing yourself for the storm that was about to hit. The guilt was eating you alive.

“Elle, you know I love you more than anything, anything in the entire world, right?” You prefaced, looking her directly in the eyes.

“Yeah, I know. God Sam, what? What is it?” She asked, anxiety setting in.

“Just let me…” you huffed, running a hand over your face. “That night, in Vegas. I, uh. I did something really bad, Elle.” You felt a lump form in your throat, watching as her eyes filled with dread.

“After Jake left, and you got sick and went to sleep, um. Y/N and I went to smoke, and…things kind of…”

“No, Sam. No…don’t…” she said, letting go of your hands.

You stayed steadfast in your confession. “We hooked up, Elle. Behind your backs. I did it, and…I have no excuse at all. It just… happened. And we both had immediate, immediate regret. It was the most stupid decision I’ve ever made in my life, Elle. And I can never take it back. I will never forgive myself, ever. You don’t deserve that, you never did. And I put our relationship in jeopardy. After everything we built. And I’m so, so sorry baby.” You began to cry a little, seeing the look on her face. She stayed silent.

“I’m so sorry. I should have told you immediately after it happened. But I’m stupid, I guess. I don’t expect you to forgive me. Hell, ever. But I just… wanted to tell you. I couldn’t lie to you any more.” You bit your lips together as the tears fell. You felt relief, but not the good kind.

After a few seconds of hell, she finally spoke. “Does Jake know?”

You nodded. “Yeah, he knew the night it happened. I’m so sorry Elle. They both begged me to tell you, even threatened to do it themselves. But I made them promise me they wouldn’t. It had to come from me.”

"So you lied to me, all that time. All the times we had sex…you told me you loved me, you…” she shook her head, standing from the couch. “You lied to me, Sam. For a good while, why did you-"

“I’m so sorry Elle. Yes I did, I lied to you. And I…I don’t know why I did. I guess I just, everything with Jake happened so fast, and it was so scary, and I was in a weird headspace with that, and worrying about him. And then tour got postponed, I just– I should have told you. As soon as it happened. And I apologize for making that horrible decision. It was thoughtless, Elle. And you don’t deserve that. Neither does Jake.”

She shook her head, letting everything hit her as she sat back down on the other end of the couch. She wiped away a few stray tears. “I think I need a minute. Can you…”

“Yes. Whatever you need. Just, come back to me, soon. Please Elle. Please don’t leave.” You begged, walking slowly to her and holding out your hand. She didn’t grab it. She looked away, pulling a pillow from the stack and curling her body around it, looking out the windows as the rain pounded.

Fuck.

What now?

You retreated back into the kitchen, blowing out the candles and closing the windows. You kept your mind distracted and your hands occupied, cleaning up the table and doing the dishes. You cleaned the entire kitchen, wiped down the counters and even scrubbed the sink.

She just needs a minute. Just needs some time.

After you cleaned until there was not a thing out of place, you grabbed your acoustic from the case in the bedroom, sitting back on the couch in the living room to play a little, hoping it’d bring you some solace.

What came out first was the Age of Machine riff that you wrote so long ago, on a rainy day just like this one. You remembered the day you played it for Jake, thinking it was just going to be something he brushed off.

“Wait, wait…what was that? Do that again.”

“That’s fuckin' scary, Sam. God damn…let’s keep going with it.”

Your fingers plucked away as your mind raced over what had just happened. Was she crying? Should you go in there? Then it hit you, her favorite song.

You began to strum the first few chords of Anthem, hoping she’d hear and come back in and be ready to talk. You hummed along, remembering again when you all wrote it. How simple it was. No frills, nothing fancy. Just good guitar, simple percussion, and really powerful lyrics.

You played for a long while, moving then into something else entirely, big foreboding bellowing sounds then tight and cheery ones, letting the thoughts running through your mind come out through your hands. Darkness fell completely in the house, and you started to worry about Elle, and if she would ever come back.

“Sammy.” You finally heard. You popped up, turning around on the couch to face her.

She walked over slowly, eyes puffy and red and face swollen with tears. She sat carefully on the edge of the couch as you sat up, wanting nothing more than to console her.

“I was going to sleep with Jake that night.” She said finally.

“Uh, yeah? You…you were?” You were caught off guard, knowing that that night had gotten really wild really fast; you knew that while you were busy with Y/N, Jake and Elle were entertaining themselves. You remembered though, not harboring much feeling about it.

“Yes. We talked about it. We were going to…because we assumed you guys were going to, too. Well, at least I assumed…” she scooted a little closer to you as you listened. “Jake and I were…very close that night. And I even texted him and apologized for coming on too strong. But, then Josh called, and I got sick…”

“Yeah, yeah baby that’s exactly how it went. And that’s when I made my decision.” You answered.

“Sam, stop.” She shook her head. “I’m not mad at you, really. I’m… very disappointed. That you lied. Y/N too. My best friend, your best friend.” You nodded. “But that night was so crazy, so uninhibited, we were all, all over the place…I’m sure you were all surprised at me and Y/N taking things where we did, and that’s something else I never really talked to you about. We never…none of us ever talked it through. I guess I know why now…”

“Jake, was he…?” She asked.

“Pissed? Yeah, unbelievably so. Elle, they aren’t together anymore. They’ve been broken up for about a month. Well, since that night. They’ve been lying to us all to keep morale up, keep things normal. But, yeah. They broke up.” You explained.

“What?” She said. “No, fuck! God, Sam. What on earth…”

You nodded, feeling sad for them, too.

“When I texted Jake to apologize, he didn’t tell me that. He barely even remembered he and I being so…close. Sam, if things hadn’t gotten stopped, I was…” she caught her words, shaking her head as she tried to speak. “I was going to ask your permission. I was going to see if you were going to be with Y/N. Because I was going to be with Jake.”

Hm. Okay, well. This conversation wasn’t on your bingo card for the night of your 23rd birthday.

You leaned back on the couch. “What a fucked up situation.” You relented. “But, you aren’t mad at me? How is that even right, Elle? I cheated on you.”

“Yeah, you did. And fuck you for that, truly.”

Deserved that.

“Absolutely, yes. Keep cussing me out. Fight me, slap me if you want. Catch a plane and leave, go back home and pack your things, I get it. I deserve that, because I don’t deserve you, and your heart, Elle. Your big, beautiful, smart, intense and over caring heart. You’re a million times the person that I could even think about being. Just when I think I have shit figured out, you always come and knock me on my ass with something better. You make me want to be better, Elle. All the time.”

“When I’m challenged with something, anything at all, I literally ask myself, ‘What would Elle do?’ I swear to god I do that at least once a day. You inspire the ever living fuck out of me. You make me laugh, because you’re always so unapologetic about being your pure self. When you left, that first time, I swear I didn’t know how I was going to make it. You disappeared, and I was lost for so long, Elle. And when you came back, god, it was like I was whole again.”

You held your head in your hands, listening as a low roll of thunder rumbled in the distance. You thought about Y/N, and how for the longest time, both of them took up space in your mind. Your feelings for them were the same, in love with two people at once. But then, out of nowhere, it hit you.

You moved to Elle, taking her hands in yours. “When I picture my future, when I’m older and we slow down, or whatever. It’s always you there with me. It always has been. Watching Jake in that hospital bed, and watching him fight to breathe as they took him away, his face turning blue and purple as he reached for me, it kinda. Ah, it…” You felt tears beginning to come, now. You hadn’t told Elle about that yet. She squeezed your hands again as you pinched the bridge if your nose, pushing that visual away.

“I watched him go through something that I should have never seen, Elle. It kinda made me realize what’s important in life, cheesy as that sounds. And later he told me that he saw nothing but Y/N’s face as he was blacking out. It made me start thinking…” you were crying hard now. “If that were me, I would see your face. I’d want to see yours. The last person I’d think about, it would be you.”

She sighed deeply as she dried your tears. “Sammy, babe…”

“I love you, Elle. Way too much. So much that it scares me, sometimes. Because…I don’t know what to do with my emotions. You make me feel a way that I’ve never ever felt before. And it’s terrifying. And I run from it. I don’t know why, but I do. Maybe that’s why I made the decision that I did that night. Because I still didn’t want to admit it to myself.”

“Admit what, Sam?”

You took her chin in your hand, bringing your face close to hers.

“That I meant what I said when I was eating that cinnamon roll last night.” You said nervously, every nerve ending in your body on fire.

Finally, finally, she laughed. Rolled her body back on to the couch and laughed. In absolute stitches.

“I’m not marrying you tomorrow, Sam.”

You giggled at her display, feeling like three million pounds had been lifted from your body. You chased her, laying over top of her on the couch, bringing your faces close together as she brought you into her embrace.

“No, not tomorrow…”

——

The storm had intensified, thunder and lightning coming every minute now. You and Elle had spent the last half hour curled up with each other, doing nothing at all but being intimate. Talking, laughing, apologizing and explaining…you let more secrets be shared with her that night than you had ever shared with her before. You got down into the roots of some things, telling her detailed stories and experiences, and letting her know how much you cared for her.

It felt like you had reconnected with her on a cellular level, somehow, and you were thanking your lucky stars that she even was letting you sit with her. It was definitely not how you saw your night going when all of this began. Maybe blowing out that candle really worked.

“Can I kiss you, Elle?”

The very fiber of your being felt like it had been reset, all the reasons you loved her flowing back through your body like a flooding river. The way she kissed you back, the way she touched you, felt like the very first time. You didn’t deserve this…

“I’m nervous, for some reason…”

You picked her up and carried her slowly to the bedroom, never disconnecting from her lips the entire way. You laid her gently on the old mattress, the iron bed frame squeaking as she fell. She still had her black dress on; it accentuated her curves so perfectly and was cut right at her mid thigh…she slid one strap down, pulling it to sit low on her shoulder, before pulling the whole dress down and off, revealing her black lace set. She made intense eye contact with you, bringing her knees toward her chin as she reclined on her elbows.

“Stop giving me those eyes, Eleanor…you know I can’t say no when you do that…”

“Then don’t tell me no…”

You reached down and took your boxers off, letting them fall to the floor as you inched yourself toward her on the bed. You were positively dizzy, the feeling of her skin on yours igniting you into a fire that blazed differently than it ever had before. Her mouth connected to yours in such a way that felt like you were bonded together, feeling every tiny touch and movement as if it were magnified. You were still anxious, nervous for some reason. Like you were about to sleep with her for the very first time. But she comforted you, kissed your sweet spots, walked you through learning her body again.

“Don’t be nervous, Sammy. It’s just me…it’s okay…”

“I know, baby..but the way you touch me sometimes…god.. I swear I could love you all day, and all night for the next hundred years and I’d still never get tired of you…”

It was something brand new. She pushed you back into the pile of pillows, crawled over top of you and flipped herself around with her back to you as she straddled your lap. What a fucking view. She leaned down and connected her sweet mouth to you, licking and pulling and pushing, hands in a soft fury to prepare you for her. Your hands reached down and pulled at her hair, directing her throat to be just where you needed her without forcing her…in and out…her mouth was pure euphoria..hot and wet euphoria.

“You not gonna touch me, Sam?”

Her free hand reached back and ran a finger along the lace barely covering her ass, pulling it to one side as she invited you to touch her. You pulled it more to one side, and her back arched hard for you, revealing her dripping entrance as she continued to close her throat around you. You brought your hand to her, feeling her wetness soak your fingers. “Mmhm…” she hummed around you, causing your dick to jump in her mouth. “Keep feeling me Sam, keep touching me like that…”

The visual was insane, the lightning like camera flashes into the room, each time burning the erotic images into your mind. Your fingers were working her, deep and slow as she hummed her lips around you, bringing you closer and closer…you were sure you’d never felt her like this ever before.

“So gorgeous, my Eleanor…your mouth feels so fucking good baby…”

She arched more for you as her mouth popped hard off the top of your dick, the loss of contact almost bringing tears to your eyes. “Need you to fuck me into this mattress, Sam. Can you break my back, baby?”

You were putty. Melting and running all over the place. You pulled her back, disconnecting her mouth from you as you brought your tongue to her entrance, suddenly feeling the need to taste her. So fucking delicious. You let your tongue delve into her as far as it could go, reaching into her as she pushed herself backwards onto your face.

“Fuck, Sammy…yeah…”

She was whining as you ate her, flipping and flitting your tongue into her as the thunder rolled louder now. Right as you felt her body begin to shake, you repositioned yourself, standing high on your knees behind her as you pulled her panties to the side again, ripping them just a tad in the process. You teased her, the head of your dick begging to push all the way into her, fill her up with everything you had.

“Do it, Sammy please…I can’t wait any longer, fuck…”

She buried her head in the bed, her hands reaching into her hair to grasp it. “Huh uh, my job…” you fisted her hair, tightening it around your hand and pulling her head back slowly, but forcefully as you slowly entered her. Thick and sticky and so ready for you, she felt like heaven. Her sounds alone were enough to get you there, so you pulled back harder. “Arch it for me baby, I know you can do it…”

Her body was at an almost 90 degree angle as you fucked slowly and languidly into her, pushing as deeply as you could go, one hand tangled in her hair and the other pulling on her hip…giving you leverage to move her into just the right spot. She spread her legs a little, lowering herself into the bed a bit more, and allowing her to fuck back into you.

You both were moving slowly, her body dipping low with each thrust and meeting you perfectly as you hit her g spot. “Don’t fucking stop, Sam…right…fucking…there…” she was whining, mewling and purring sounds into the air.

“You want it harder, baby? Think you can take it?” You asked as she nodded. The thunder was clapping now as her asscheeks hit your thighs repeatedly, her muscles flowing like shockwaves with each hit.

You pulled yourself out, earning a groan of displease from her. Hand still tangled in her hair, you stood from the bed and pulled her along with you, walking her to the wall by the bed. You gently pushed her against it, letting her cheek fall flat against the white paint. You lifted her left leg up, hitching the back of her knee in the crease of your elbow.

“Spread for me, babe. There you go…”

And you entered her again, pushing her into the wall. She was considerably tighter like this, and the new position garnered you almost complete control. She was almost unable to move at all. But her sounds continued to fill the room…you knew she was loving it just as much as you were.

“I’m close, baby…almost there…” she said, breathless and sweaty as you fucked up into her.

“Hang on, go with me…I’m right there too…goddamn you’re so fucking tight…”

Your name poured from her mouth as you poured into her, bodies shaking together as you pressed your front against her, her forehead rolling against the sheetrock. When your head came back into one piece, and her body stopped jerking, you snuck your hand around in front of her, between her legs, finding her clit and immediately rubbing small circles.

You went insane on it, flicking it from side to side as you continued to press her into the wall, your still-hard dick resting comfortably inside her. Her cries sounded almost close to tears. You kissed the back of her neck, biting into it as you felt her writhing again.

It surprised her, the overstimulation making her shudder. Her body stiffened as you worked your middle finger over her already swollen bud, begging her to let go again. Her walls were still squeezing around you, still inside her. You almost felt like you could let go again, yourself.

“I know you’ve got another one in there, baby. Let me have it…give it to me again…”

Her hand reached behind her and grasped your shoulder, pulling your torso against her back, fingers digging into your shoulder muscle like she was holding on for dear life.

Within seconds she was soaking your dick all over again, her knees threatening to buckle as she doubled over. Her cries were almost pathetic, shrieking and breathless as she came again.

“There it is, just for me…so gorgeous Eleanor…” you growled into her ear.

When she finally came back to life, you pulled yourself out of her, but still kept a firm hold around her limp body, walking her carefully back over as you both crashed back onto the bed in pure exhaustion.

After a few minutes, she perked up lying on her elbow, looking at you with so much love in her eyes.

“What?” You asked, smirking as you rolled to rest on your elbow too.

“Do you really want what you asked me while you were eating the cinnamon roll?” She peeked through one eye. Her words made your stomach drop and your mouth go dry.

“Yeah, I do. One day, down the road. I can picture it…” you rolled over to your back, looking at the ceiling. “Three kids, maybe four. All really close in age, so they can grow up together like we did. I want to find a big house with a bunch of land, so I can have a massive garden. And a bunch of dogs. Giant kitchen with tons of windows…and all four of my pianos in different rooms. I’m gonna teach all the babies how to play every instrument that I can, whatever they want to learn. The house will be filled with music all the time. And I wanna write songs about them, and for them…that’s what I want.” You huffed a breath, looking back over to her.

“And you know what the best part will be?” You asked.

“Tell me.”

“That you’ll be making those cinnamon rolls for us every week…all the time…the kids will love them…” you brought yourself over to kiss her. “And they’ll love you… and I’ll love you…until we’re old and gray, baby. Until the day you tell me not to. I promise. I promise, I promise…”

—

JAKE POV

You hear her alarm go off on her phone, startling you from your sleep. Her face turned towards you as her own eyes fluttered open. She squeezed them back shut as she reached over to snooze her phone. You smile realizing it’s another morning you’ve woken up and she’s still in bed.

It’s warm under the sheets, you don’t blame her for not wanting to leave. If it were up to you the two of you would stay cocooned in the sheets all day. She throws her arm over her eyes blocking out the morning light, trying to get those five extra minutes. You lay there just looking at her, watching the rise and fall of her chest as she fights to get back to her dream.

Minutes later when her alarm sounds again, she rolls over towards it and groans, grabbing it from the charger and laying it on her chest.

You reach your hand out and place it on her arm, “You better get moving baby, Josh will be here soon.”

“I know, but I am so tired, we stayed up too late watching last night. I fell asleep in here, again.”

“We can take a break from watching if you want to.” you offer.

“No! I mean, we don’t have to. I just need to force myself out of here.” she giggles.

“Every night I ask you if you want me to take you back in there and you say no…You say you want to stay…” you goad.

“Ugh, I know Jake, sue me…” she says, tossing the blankets off of her, and standing from the bed.

“Don’t be like that…You know I don’t want you to anyways. Like waking up to your face.” you smile.

She steps into the bathroom and shuts the door; your signal to start the coffee before she has to leave. It had been several nights since the family dinner and each one of them was spent twisted together watching a TV show until the both of you fell asleep. At least that was your excuse for it.

As the coffee pot started to gurgle, you grabbed a to-go mug, and waited for the pot to finish brewing. You leaned against the counter, scrolling through your phone as she stepped into the kitchen. She was in a pair of crimson colored leggings, and had on a sports bra that matched. Her hair was in a high ponytail braid down her back, resting just at the criss crossed straps of her sports bra. Shit she looked practically edible.

She had your flannel tossed into the bag hanging from her shoulder, and her birkenstocks in her hands, dropping them to the floor to slide into them as she approached you.

“Again, is there any type of viewing package at the yoga place.” you said, pouring the coffee into the mug.

“No, Jacob…” she says, rolling her eyes and reaching out to grab the mug from your hands.

You look at her again, somewhat jealous that Josh gets to spend the morning with her, looking like that. Fucker.

“I will be back after, okay?” she said, spinning on her heels.

“Hey, wait…” you asked.

You swallowed nervously as you grabbed her free hand in yours, “You wanna go do something tonight?”

She furrowed her brow, “Like what?”

“Something fun, just us. Like we used to.” you offer, feeling your heart beat out of your chest.

“Oh, like a date?” she smiles.

“Do you want it to be a date?” you ask hopefully.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.” she grins, squeezing your hand.

“Okay, yeah, then like a date.” you say, releasing her hand.

You see Josh’s car pull up through the front door window, and look back to her, “Your ride is here…Be careful okay, check your surroundings…all of that…”

“Okay, I will I promise and Josh is with me. But…I’m excited… for tonight.” she smiles walking down the hallway. You are right behind her, ready to close the door, but as she slips out she spins around and places a barely there kiss on your cheek. “See you later…”

You smile as you watch her ponytail swing as she jumps into the passenger seat of Josh’s car, waving through the window as they pull away.

—

You spend much of the morning racking your brain for ideas of what the two of you could do tonight. You’d never felt so much pressure planning a date before, but then you realized. It’s Y/N, she won’t care what you’re doing as long as it’s you she’s doing it with. You knew just what to do, and you knew she would love it.

You grab a quick shower and dig through your closet, looking for something to wear down to the studio. Today would be your first meeting back with the guys to start practicing for the South American leg of tour starting up. You were itching to get your hands back on your guitar, ready to turn the amps to one hundred and just rip for a few hours.

Shortly after 11:00 you heard the front door open, and heard her setting her things in the hallway, kicking off her shoes.

“Jake?” she called.

“Up here!” you called out to her from the music room, checking out the strings on your guitar.

You hear her climb up the steps and round the corner, still looking gorgeous as ever.

“I’m back…” she giggled.

“I see that.” you smile, twisting the knob on the headstock.

“You excited to go play today?” she asked, leaning against the wall.

“Hell yeah, but you know what?” you asked.

“What?”

“I’m more excited for after…” you smiled.

“Yeah? What should I wear on my date with Mr. Jacob Kiszka this evening?” she smiles.

“Mmm…” you hum, rubbing your lips, “A dress. But bring a sweater or something.” you answer.

“I think I can work with those requirements… I’m gonna go take a shower, but, have fun today and don’t over do it, okay?” she pleads.

“I won’t, I won’t, promise.” you answer, sliding your guitar back into the case, and locking it.

“I’ll see you tonight?” she asks.

“Not soon enough.” you smile, watching her blush and run down the stairs.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket and as you pull it out you see a familiar name cross the screen.

misscarsonneely: Guitar question? I’m sure you’re never going to see this.

You smirk, it is a miracle you saw it.

You: I probably have an answer…

misscarsonneely: Wow, I can’t believe you saw this. Okay, so I have been feeling a little inspired lately and decided to put those new strings to use, but when I play it sounds…bad? Like off kind of? Maybe I just suck? Lol.

You smile and laugh, knowing exactly what the problem is.

You: I usually never check my messages to be honest, surprised I saw it too. How about you text me instead. I’ll get you fixed up.

You send her your number and wait for her message to come through, adding the new contact to your phone.

Carson

11:23pm: Have I reached the guitar guru hotline?

You

11:24pm: You have. So I think what you are describing is it being out of tune which happens sometimes when you put higher tension strings on. Could you maybe send me a video so I can be sure?

Carson

11:28pm: Do NOT laugh at me, it is the only song I know.

11:28pm: *Attachment*

You open the video and let it play, stifling back the laugh that escapes you when you hear ‘Cheeseburger in Paradise’ ringing out terribly through the speaker.

You

11:30pm: Okay, yes. So the strings I put on your guitar are all I had to choose from, and they are high gauge and high tension so they are putting your guitar under a little more stress than it's used to, so it is spinning the knobs itself to release that tension and its causing your guitar to lose its tuning. It’s probably going to do that a few times until the strings are settled, so just re-tune your guitar and you should be set. Well, until next time. ;)

Carson

11:32pm: I swear I’m not an idiot. I really did tune it yesterday and it sounded fine so when I picked it up today and it sounded like that I never thought that maybe it was just out of tune. God I’m sorry I bothered you with that.

You

11:35pm: No, I know you’re not. You just aren’t used to those type of strings. Asked Sam to grab some to give to Josh, and that's probably all I had in my kit.

Carson

11:36pm: And I appreciate it soo much. Thank you again for doing that.

You

11:37pm: My pleasure Miss Carson, let me know if you need help with anything else.

Carson

11:38pm: Thanks Jake. Promise I won’t bug you with more stupid questions. Lol

You

11:39pm: I can assure you you’re not bugging me. Not in the slightest.

Carson

11:40pm: Good to know ;)

You stare at the message for a bit before locking your phone and shoving it into your pocket. You grab your guitar case and make your way downstairs, grabbing your keys and heading out the door, set for the studio feeling happier than you had in weeks.

—

It felt good to be back to it. God it felt good. But it felt even better knowing you’d be back on the road soon. As much as you were enjoying your time at home with Y/N you craved to be out seeing the world. And it was even better when she was there with you.

You started small, playing through a few songs, working your stamina back up to what it was. You had another week or two before you left for South America and you were convinced that if you just came in and did a little bit everyday, you would be back to where you were. Almost like muscle memory.

After a particularly long jam session you checked your phone seeing that it was damn near time to leave to make it home in time to get ready for your date.

You slung your guitar strap over your head and turned off your amp, unplugging the pick up and beginning to pack up your things.

“Damn Jake, what lit a fire under your ass?” Sam asked.

“I gotta get out of here. Have plans tonight.” You replied flicking your glasses down over your eyes.

“With who…” Danny winked.

“Your motha…” you said in your best British accent.

“Good. Go. In fact what the fuck is taking you so long? Get outta here…” Josh said, shooing you out the door.

You turned to the guys and offered them a quick wave as you stepped out the door ready to wine and dine your favorite girl.

—

You stepped into the front door and deposited your guitar case against the wall, calling her name through the echoey house.

When you heard no answer you called out again, “Y/N? Where are you my love?”

“Jake?” She said, stepping out into the hallway as she fastened her earring. You nearly stopped breathing at the sight of her.

“Sorry babe, didn’t hear you come in!” She smiled walking over towards you.

“Is this okay?”’she asks, running her hands over her navy blue dress nervously before looking up at you.

“Everyday I think there’s no way you could possibly be more beautiful and everyday I wake up to just that. You look gorgeous.” You say, seeing the blush creep across her face.

“Jake…” she whines.

“It’s true. I’m going to change clothes and then I will be ready to go, okay? Why don’t you have a glass of wine and I’ll be out in a minute.” You say.

She nods and flits off to the kitchen as you turn on your heels heading for the bedroom. You had stewed over what to wear for your date all morning, finally deciding on a pair of pinstripe slacks and a black button up. You knew she liked it, and she was always particularly handsy when it came to you leaving your shirts open, so it seemed like the natural choice.

You kick off your jeans and your t-shirt and throw them in the hamper, hearing a knock on the closet door. You spin around and see her standing with a wine glass extended towards you.

“Can’t drink alone…” she coos.

You take the glass and laugh, “You’re not supposed to see me like this until after, baby….”

A short and sweet ‘hm’ leaves her lips as she spins away to let you finish dressing. You sip the red wine and feel your insides warm as you fasten the bottom buttons of your shirt. You slide on your slacks and a pair of loafers before picking a necklace from your wall.

You give yourself a once over in the mirror and step into the bathroom to spritz yourself with cologne, taking a deep breath and tossing back the rest of the glass of wine.

She’s sitting on the couch in the study, lazily scrolling through her phone as she sees you step out. Her eyes scan over you top to bottom lighting your chest on fire. Her gaze grows dark and she bites her lips together stifling back the words that want to escape.

Reaching a hand towards her, you ask, “Ready my love?”

—

“Two for Jacob…” you said to the hostess. She grabbed two menus and guided the two of you to a small candle lit table in the corner of the restaurant.

You pulled her chair out for her, letting her sit before pushing her in. You took the chair across from her, laying your napkin across your lap as she perused the drink menu.

“Can’t believe you got us a reservation here last minute… you know this is my favorite place in the city.” She smiled shyly.

“I know it’s your favorite and when I called earlier to see if they had any availability tonight I wasn’t hopeful but by some stroke of luck…” you trailed off. “Anyways, I’m happy they got us in. Fate I guess.” you smiled.

“Thank you, Jake… for doing all of this. For planning this and asking me…” She said.

“Of course baby, wish we could go out more. But I was thinking, how about when we are out on the road, you and I sneak off and find somewhere cool to eat in the long stop cities. Just us. Keep working on us…” you say, reaching for her hand. She laces her fingers with yours and you smile feeling her hand in yours.

She nods her head excitedly, rubbing her thumb over yours.

“Okay good. Can’t imagine being on the road without you, you know. Want to see the world with you.” you admit, seeing her eyes grow teary.

“Me too, Jake.”

A few minutes later the waiter arrived to take your drink orders, both of you opting for specialty cocktails, sure to have both of you feeling more relaxed in a matter of minutes.

As they arrived you tapped your glass to hers, “To our first date…” you smirked.

“And hopefully not the last…” she replied with a playful smile.

You both sipped your drinks, carrying on normal conversation and talking about all the cities you’d be traveling to in the upcoming months. You both ordered your food, and as you waited you checked the time on your phone to make sure you were still looking good.

“Have a hot date?” she asked with a smirk.

“Sure fuckin’ do…” you grin, “I was just making sure we’re good on time. Our next activity starts at a very specific time…”

“Oh, we are doing something else?” she asks.

“Yep, this is going to be a proper first date. When we are done here I am taking your to the movies, where I am going to spend half of it working up the courage to hold your hand.” you say.

“Oh gosh, well I will make sure I position my hand on the armrest just right to make it not look super obvious that I want you to.” she laughs.

“Can’t wait.” you smile.

“What movie are we seeing?” she asks.

“Well, that was the hard part. There were hardly any options. We have tickets for The Northman. I know it’s not really your thing but we can pick another if you don’t want to see that.” you offer.

“Jake…Do you think we’ve been watching The X-Files every night because I am really into alien mystery shows?” she asks.

“Um…” you hum.

“We could be watching Antiques Roadshow and I wouldn’t miss a single night…” she says.

“And why’s that Y/N…” you coax.

“You know why.” she smiles shyly.

“Tell me, I want to hear you say it.

“Because I just want to be there with you. Lay with you…Want to feel you run your fingers over my arms, and hear your laugh, and feel you twirl my hair between your fingers and kiss my head when you think I’m asleep.”

“So you aren’t leaving on purpose.” you smile.

“Absolutely on purpose.” she smiles.

“So don’t.” you reply, locking eyes with her across the table.

You feel her foot brush your leg and you swallow back the overwhelming urge to kiss her, and thankfully the waiter arrives with your food, putting a stop to your sudden urge.

The two of you continue to talk as you enjoy your food, downing another drink and sharing a few more laughs. You check your phone again, and see that you are right on time, as long as the bill comes in the next few minutes.

With the sign of your name on the line and the toss of a few bills on the table you are walking hand in hand down the sidewalk towards the movie theater, buzzing from the alcohol flowing through your body.

“Does my date require any concessions?” you ask, playfully.

“No your date is miserably full from dinner, but if you want something you should get it! I can’t even remember the last time you went to the movies.” she says.

“I can’t remember the last time I went either…” you say rubbing your lips. “Come on, let's go find some good seats.” you say, clasping her hand in yours as you step into the musky smelling theater, ready to hold her hand for the next two hours straight.

—

Obviously, the two of you rushed to the very top row of seats in the theater against the wall, any other seats simply not making any sense. You took the seat to her left, removing your jacket and setting it in the seat beside you. The advertisements before the previews began rolling, and your heart rate began to pick up. Why did you feel like you were 14 again, on a date with a girl you’d had a crush on for two whole weeks?

The two of you shared a few glances, her hands folded and rested comfortably under her chin as her elbows balanced on the armrests. Suddenly the lights went down, and the previews started. The quick heart rate from earlier got even worse. You didn’t know if it was the nerves from being on a real actual date with her again, or the fact that you were so starved for her touch after the week you’d had, but you found your insides rolling around on themselves with want for her. Her touch, any kind.

You looked at her with your peripheral, the light from the screen bouncing off her face. She smirked a little, feeling your eyes on her. You made it through the five or six new movie previews, but you couldn’t name one. All you could think about was the gorgeous girl to your right, shoulder to shoulder with you.

Finally the lights went down even more, and you noticed that the only other people that had made it into the theater was another couple around your age, who had chosen to sit down in almost the front row. A theater almost to yourselves.

The opening credits began, the loud music rattling the walls and chairs. You felt your palms begin to sweat with nerves, so you wiped them across the thighs of your pants, and rested your elbows on the armrests, jokingly fighting Y/N to claim the spot. You heard her laugh through her nose, moving her elbow around to make room for you.

“You know, if you wanted the arm rest all you had to do was ask.” She whispered, bringing her mouth to your ear. Instant chills. “And if you want to hold my hand, all you have to do is grab it.”

She pulled back, turning her attention back to the movie. Deep breath, it’s just Y/N.

You held your hand out, palm up, and she happily laid hers in it, interlacing your fingers with hers and squeezing tightly. Okay, good. Okay.

You looked to her, smiling ear to ear. The feeling of holding her hand was sending bolts of electricity straight up your arm, and you began rubbing your thumb across her knuckles.

The movie went on, you only paying half-attention to it. In an act of confidence, you brought her hand to your lips, lying a long and sweet kiss to her palm. She started gushing, shying away and giving you a smile so sweet you felt like melting. She then repeated your action, kissing each of your fingertips and then your palm, her mouth parted and half open as she slowly laid kisses all over your scarred hand, like she remembered where she pulled each and every shard of glass out all those years ago.

Then, she did something that caught you so completely off guard that you felt your head spin. She brought your pointer finger slowly into her mouth, running her tongue along it, closing her lips tightly around it, and lightly biting the tip…shit. You exhaled, getting so extremely turned on from such a simple act. Then, she switched your fingers, stretching it all the way to the back of her throat.

Fuck.

When she finally removed it, you were writhing in your seat. She turned back to the movie like nothing had ever happened. Your heart was beating in your ears as you decided to meet her energy, snaking your hand down to her thigh, letting it slip underneath her dress, and grip the tender part of her muscle. You watched as she scooted forward just a bit in her seat, obviously enjoying this game so far. You took it further, letting your hand travel higher and higher until your fingers were ghosting the fabric of her thong.

The next thing you knew, her hand was mirroring yours, traveling with a tight grip up the inside of your thigh. Shit shit shit. She didn’t slow down, she didn’t shy away. Her hand lightly grazed your bulge, before completely gripping it in her hand. You couldn’t stop yourself from looking directly at her, but the expression on her face was begging you to touch her more.

You let your hand go up further, touching her through her panties. You held eye contact as you both touched each other, driving the other absolutely insane. You were hoping and praying that she would move to unbuckle your belt, and like she was reading your mind, she did.

Your free hand moved to help her, your chest already heaving. She kept her eyes trained on the movie while you maneuvered your belt and zipper, and when you got everything unlatched, her finger tips sunk below the waistline of your boxers, pulling them out so she could reach her hand all the way in.

Fuck what is happening shit shit…

You felt your already damaged lungs lose every bit of air at her touch, her hand gripping your dick and squeezing it, moving her hand as much as she could with it still tucked away in your boxers.

You gathered your thoughts quickly…two can play this game, baby. You let your left hand pull her thong to the side, wasting no time in going straight for the place you knew would drive her wild. God, she felt so perfect. You’d almost forgotten…her hand on you mixed with the feeling of her on your fingers was making your vision blur. She scooted down in the seat a bit more, giving you more space to feel her completely. Should you…?

Just then, the door to the theater slammed, and in walked another couple, coming up the stairs and taking their seats near the middle of the theater. You closed your eyes, sighing a frustrated huff while you glanced to Y/N, her opposite hand covering her mouth.

She started to giggle. She removed her hand slowly, and you did the same. She was trying hard not to laugh out loud, holding her nose closed as she caught her breath.

“What the fuck are you laughing at?” You whispered, readjusting yourself in your slacks.

“We’re acting like a couple of horny teenagers feeling each other up in a damn movie theater, and we almost got caught. It’s just funny, okay?” She laughed again through her strangled whispers, causing you to feel a chuckle leave your chest. It was kind of funny.

After you calmed down a little, you leaned in close to her ear, sharing the armrest now. “Doesn’t change the fact that even though I’m not a teenager, I’m still extremely fuckin’ turned on right now and I want to leave this movie as soon as humanly possible.”

She took a deep breath, teeth gritted tightly as she watched the screen. “Let’s go.”

——

You both made a mad dash out of the theater and toward the car, the brisk night air bringing you back to reality for the time being. What the hell just happened in there? As you made your way through the parking lot digging for your keys in your pocket, Y/N rushed up beside you, taking your hand in hers as you walked. Oh.

You gave her a knowing glance, and she gave you a glare that could’ve killed you. She really wants this to keep going…get it together Jake.

You both hopped in the car, and you started up the engine, backing out of the parking space. When you got on the road, you cleared your throat. Neither of you had said a word since you left the theater, and frankly, you had no idea what to say. All you knew was that you were absolutely starving for her, and the tension between you was so thick you could almost see it. Was this really happening? It’s been over a month…

You let your left hand drape across the steering wheel and your right balance on the console, nervously running your fingers over your lips.

“Are you anxious, Jake?” She finally broke the silence.

Uhhhh…

You cleared your throat once again, feeling the threat of a tiny cough tickle your throat, still not completely rid of your illness. “Yeah,” your voice cracked. “Yeah not gonna lie, Y/N, kinda anxious.” You told her truthfully.

“Me too.” She said meekly, sinking into the chair.

You reached your hand out for her again like you had in the theater, letting her grasp your fingers with hers. Still feels so perfect.

“Do you wanna go home? Or…” you asked, making sure she had the same thoughts as you.

“Yeah. Let’s go home.” She said.

“What uh, what about the rules?” You asked her.

“Well, we didn’t break rule #1, and we kinda broke rule #2…”

“We broke the fuck out of rule #2, babe.” You laughed.

“Yeah, well. I guess, since we never um. Stated a rule #4, it doesn’t really, technically exist, right?” She offered.

Holy fucking shit she wants to do it.

“Yeah I…I don’t remember us saying that one was in the book, do you?” You replied nervously.

She shook her head from side to side. “Won’t change anything though… We’re still, not…”

You nodded. “Right. Yes. Won’t change anything at all. Still very much…not together.”

“Right. Not together.” she said, looking at you longingly.

You brought her hand to your mouth again, this time not letting it leave your lips until you were pulling down your street.

——

HER POV

Did he really want to do this? Should you do this? As the car pulled up to the house he put it in park and shut off the engine, as he turned to look at you. Your hands were still clasped together but now rested on your lap. Your brain started to swirl with panic. Would this undo everything?

“Jake, I’m sorry I did that in the movie theater. I shouldn’t have.” you said quietly.

“No, I… It’s okay. I liked it…I’ve…missed your touch.” he replies.

“You have…” you question.

“Are you kidding me? Yeah baby…” he scoffs. “Come on, let’s go inside…”

You nod and open your door, stepping out onto the sidewalk as he rounds the front of the car to meet you. Your brain was still rushing with want but you knew in your heart that you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t be with him like that until the two of you were back together. Right?

“I can see you overthinking it.” he smirks, unlocking the front door.

“I’m not…I’m just…I’m scared it will undo all the progress we’ve made. That part of our relationship was always solid. I’m just scared we will fall back into how things were…” you explain.

“And what’s wrong with that?” he says, stepping inside and tossing his keys on the table.

“I was a terrible person. Partner…I just want to be what you need in a partner and back then, I wasn’t. You deserve better Jake.” you say.

He steps up to you and grabs your arms looking into your eyes, “I can assure you that you are everything I need. Everything I deserve. Everything I want. If you want to wait, it’ll fuckin’ kill me, but I will wait. I will always wait for you, Y/N. Okay?”

He slides his hand down your arms and twists his fingers with yours.

“Are you sure you aren’t mad Jake? I feel like I just teased you so bad, and you planned the most perfect date and now I am leaving you high and dry…We shouldn’t have taken it that far…” you say.

“Baby this was never part of the plan. I never expected anything. I just wanted to take you out, have a little bit of fun outside of the house. Everything else was just extra. And honestly just feeling your hand on me even if just for a minute was enough.” he pauses. “I mean I guess I was kind of expecting a kiss at the end of the date…” he says playfully.

“So walk me to my door and maybe you’ll get it…” you tease.

He releases one of your hands as he walks you to the guest room door pausing as you turn to face him, “Thank you for the date. It was so much fun…I hope we can have another one day…” you taunt.

“Mmm it’s looking pretty good so far…” he smirks, leaning his head towards you placing his hand on your cheek as he presses his lips to yours. You wind your hands around his waist and pull him closer to you. He pulls your bottom lip between his, sucking at it gently as his tongue swipes over it. You open your mouth just slightly to let him in, a gentle whine leaving your mouth.

“Mmm fuck…” he growls as he pulls away. “We have to stop. I want you so bad. I’m sorry Y/N. Anyways, thanks for coming with me tonight. I hope you… sleep well…” he says, stepping back from the doorway.

You twist the door knob and step inside, “You too…” you breathe, your head still rushing with want.

You close the door softly and stand there, heart pounding as you think about his mouth on yours, his lips, his hands on your skin. Your body fills with goosebumps and your breath catches in your throat. Next thing you know your hand is reaching for the door knob throwing it open ready to run straight to his room, but as the door flies open he's there, leaning against the wall.

“Jake…” you breathe.

“Baby…” he replies, pulling you into him.

Your mouths reunite once again but this time it's faster, more frenzied. Both of you positively dripping with need for the other. You tangle both of your hands into the hair at the base of his head as your lips fight to kiss every inch of his. His hands reach down and cradle your thighs, pulling you up to wrap your legs around his waist as he walks both of you as quickly as he can towards his bedroom.

Your lips never part from him, kissing his jaw, his neck, fuck… anywhere you can reach. He kicks open the door walking straight to the bed and dropping you onto your back into the fluffy duvet.

He steps back from you, unbuttoning the last buttons of his shirt and throwing it to the floor. He kicks off his pants and rejoins you on the bed, hovering over top of you as his lips connect to the skin of your neck. He brings one of his hands to your chest, grabbing your tits as frantically as he can. His fingers hook into the strap of your dress, sliding the fabric down your shoulder to reveal your bare chest.

“Goddamnit Y/N…” he breathes.

You squirm underneath him, desperate to feel his lips on your skin again.

“Tell me you’re sure.” he demands.

“I’m sure! I’m sure! Please!” you beg.

He pulls your dress the rest of the way off of your body, leaving you both in just your underwear. He studies you, his eyes running over every inch of your body like it’s the first time he’s seen it. Your eyes flick to his nervously as his gaze grows darker.

He runs his hand down your chest, and over your stomach, letting his fingers graze your heat as he swipes them down your legs. Your hips buck up into his feeling his hardened length brush your skin.

He sees the look in your eye when you feel it, a smirk pulling up the corner of his mouth. “Every fuckin’ day. Every day I have to fight that off. I’m not gonna fight it anymore baby.”

“Please Jake…” you beg.

His fingers hook into the lace of your thong all but ripping it from your body as he uses his knee to spread your legs. You’re breathing heavily, your chest rising and falling quickly as you wait for his touch.

“Where was I…” he said, swiping a finger through your wetness.

“Somewhere like here…” he said, pushing two fingers inside of you, causing your back to arch up off the bed.

“Yeah, yeah. Right there, huh baby…” he growled.

His free hand comes up to twist one of your nipples between his fingers, a whine leaving your lips at the sensation. “You always have made the prettiest sounds.”

He hooks his fingers up into you, as he lowers his lips to your other nipple, sucking it into his mouth and biting gently.

“Jake…” you moan.

He releases his mouth from you, continuing to pump his fingers in and out, “Yeah baby?”

“I can’t wait. Please. Just…please.” you beg, reaching to pull his boxers down.

He pulls his fingers from you and pushes his boxers the rest of the way off, kicking them to the floor to join the rest of your clothes.

Your eyes travel down his torso to his dick, before you flick your eyes back up to his.

He snaps his fingers and points to the top of the bed, “Get in the middle.”

You quickly move yourself backwards as he crawls onto the bed between your legs. He bends down, licking a hot stripe up your center, as you sigh into the air.

His left hand comes up to rest next to your head as his right grips his length and drags his tip through your folds.

“Jesus Christ Y/N, I swear to god I’m not going to last five seconds.” he pants.

“If we’re going to break the rules, we are going to fucking break them.” you breathe.

With a grunt he presses inside you and a whine rips from your chest at the feeling. He is breathing heavy over top of you, trying to keep his composure as your insides adjust around him.

“Fuck me, you are so tight. Feels like the fucking first time I felt you around me…” he pulls his hips back to try to start moving, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he lets out a breath.

“Shit, yeah I need a second.” he pleads.

“Jake, I need you to move. I need you to fuck me right this second.” you beg.

He swallows harshly and pulls back, before pressing into you again with a deep groan. You can see him fighting it, he wants to give you what you want. He wants this to last the rest of the night. You can feel every sweet inch of him as he moves inside of you, your walls clenching around him with every thrust.

“Jake…fuck…fuck I missed you. I…” you breathe, digging your nails into his back.

He attaches his lips to yours, licking into your mouth as he starts to move quicker, hitting your sweet spot with every stroke.

He lowers his lips to your ear, whispering into it as he works both of you towards release.

“You feel so fuckin’ good baby. My gorgeous fuckin’ girl…” he growls.

He starts to roll his hips, causing his tip to slide against your g-spot in slow meticulous strokes as he presses his hand to your pelvis to increase the pressure. You cry out in bliss as the sensation takes over your body.

“Feel good? Feel good when I fuck you like that? Been thinkin’ about it for weeks. The things I was going to do to you when I finally got you back…Better than I imagined baby. You always are…” he whispers.

He pulls out all the way, grabbing your knee and hooking it up over his hip as he presses all the way in to be fully seated inside of you. You clench down around him, and his eyes shoot open to lock with yours.

“I can’t hold it…” he breathes.

“Don’t…” you pant.

“Want you to cum with me.” he begs.

“I’m there… just keep going…” you answer.

He brings his thumb to his mouth, licking it before pressing it to your clit making rapid circles. You arch up into his touch, and whine.

“Yeah just like that love, you’re so close. My good girl, let me have it. Let me fill you. Can I do that? Can I fill my girl?” he coaxes.

“Please Jake! Fuck!” you cry, a tear springing from your eye.

“Now baby, right fuckin’ now!” he says, grabbing your hips and pulling you impossibly closer to him as his cock jerks violently inside of you. You feel the fire blaze through your chest as your release washes over the both of you, completely tearing your consciousness apart. He grunts your name as his warmth fills you, the room filled with breathy moans and whimpers.

He releases his grip on your hips trying to slowly pull himself out of you without making a huge mess, but as he pulls out, it spills out of you and onto your legs. He groans as he watches, his eyes flicking to yours, which you’re sure are completely blissed out.

He brings himself to lay on top of you, pressing his lips to yours over and over, until you’re both giggling and smiling.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t go longer. I…It’s been a month without you…” he says, rolling off of you and onto his side.

“Jake…I was barely holding on too. But…” you pause.

“But what…” he asks, running his finger down your sternum.

“But I want more.” you whisper.

“Oh thank god…” he says, turning your body onto your side, and pulling you into him. He lifts your leg and positions himself at your entrance, slowly pushing inside of you.

“I don’t know if I will ever get enough of you Y/N…” he whispers into your ear.

His hand reaches around to the front of you swirling his fingers over your clit as you arch into him.

“Oh fuck stay like that, keep your back arched like that, holy fuck…” he begs slowly thrusting in and out of you. He continues to whisper sweet praises into your ear as his hand travels over your body so softly, so gently.

His hand comes back up to wrap around your front holding you tightly to his chest. Suddenly you feel the air between you shift, this is no longer frenzied and furious sex, no, somewhere it shifted into slow and tender love making. There were no more harsh movements, there were no more dirty phrases. It was just you and him. The both of you showing each other you’re still here. You’re both still in there, loving each other, through it all.

He pulls out of you and you spin to face him, near tears as he presses his lips to yours in a kiss you know is laced with love and adoration. He pulls your hips towards him, as you part your legs to let him back in. He presses into you until he is fully seated and breathing in deeply the scent of the two of you together.

You wrap your arms around his neck as he slowly pushes and pulls in and out, his eyes never leaving yours once.

“Remember, that night in the hotel room, I told you to stop telling me you loved me.” he says, continuing to move.

“Yeah…” you breathe.

“Please don’t…” he begs.

You press your lips to his, your tongues tangling together as he moves inside of you.

“Why did you say it?” you ask.

“Because it was killing me that I couldn’t say it back…I never stopped loving you.” he answered, starting to pant.

“I found out right after that, what I did. Crawled into bed with you. Just wanted to be close to you. Had to tell you I loved you too. Couldn’t breathe until I said it. You didn’t hear it, but…” he continued.

“You do?” you ask.

He grabs you and rolls to his back, bringing you to sit on top of him. You spin around to face him, repositioning yourself on top of him, as you begin to roll your hips slowly.

“Y/N there is nothing in the world that you could ever do that would keep me from loving you.” he answers.

You lift off of him before dropping back down, repeating the motion until the both of you are crumbling closer to your second orgasm.

His hands guided your hips, as he talked you through it, his touch tender and loving as he spilled into you for the second time. You rolled off of him and into the bathroom to clean up, opting for a quick rinse in the shower before you both returned to the bed.

You helped him change the sheets and he disappeared down the hallway, returning with your pillow and your cell phone.

You pulled on one of his t-shirts and a clean pair of underwear before you slid into the bed next to him and cuddled into his side.

“Hey baby?” you asked, into the dark room.

“Yes?”

You rolled closer to him and looked up towards him, “What do you want to do for your birthday?”

“Hmmm…That…” he giggles.

You dig a finger into his ribs, “No seriously…”

“I am being serious.” he laughs again.

“Jacob…” you warn.

“I don’t know. I just want to spend the day with you…See Josh, and the guys…nothing fancy. Just want to do this. This feels good. Makes me happy.” he answers.

“Okay, okay…” you say, pressing a kiss to his bare chest.

“Are you excited to go to South America in a few days?” he asks.

“I am excited, I have always wanted to go to Brazil.” you answer.

“I can’t wait to take you, it's so beautiful there. There are so many cool places to eat and things to see…” he gushes, “...and to spend every night just like this…”

“Jake… we… won’t spend every night just like this though…” you say.

“What do you mean…” he asks, turning towards you.

“We…we’re in separate rooms, remember?” you remind him.

“No…cancel it, change it, or whatever…You sleep with me damn near every night Y/N…I’ve kind of grown partial to it…”

“I know baby, but this is part of that growing up thing I am working on. I think we need to stay separate while we are on tour. At least while we aren’t together…”

“I don’t want to be separate. I want to go out, play our shows, eat good food, and make love to my girl every night.” he says.

“Jake, we can’t do that either…” you say nervously.

“What so this was just…Just a one time thing?” he asks, stopping the hand that's been rubbing your arm.

“No…I don’t know, I don’t know what we are supposed to do but I feel like we need to limit it as much as possible. I know it will be hard but we have to… try.”

He lets out a sigh, “Okay, well, if that’s what you want, I’ll do it.”

“It’s not what I want Jake, but it’s what we need, as a couple. To keep rebuilding our relationship, without using sex as a buffer.” you say.

“I know. I just, need you…sometimes.” he admits.

“I know babe, me too. And I think sometimes is…fine. We just need to wait until neither of us can take it anymore and then…” you pause. “Think about how good it felt just now…”

“Fucking perfect.” he answers.

“Exactly, and I feel like emotionally our relationship is getting so much better. If we can just keep… doing what we’re doing…I think we can be together again and I can be the person I want to be for you.” you say.

He pulls you into his chest and kisses your head, “I know baby. I want you to be happy. I’m so glad you are still coming with us. With me. Still want to go eat at cool places with you. We can do that, right?”

“Yeah babe, we can do that.” you say reaching up and pressing a kiss to his lips. “And for the record I am fully intending on sleeping just like this all night long.” you say wrapping your arm around his waist and nuzzling your face into his neck.

“I’d be sad if you didn’t.” he says, wrapping his arms around you.

You both start to drift off, your mind swirling with thoughts of Jake and Brazil, when your phone chimes on your nightstand. Your eyes pop open and you roll over to grab it, squinting as you read the name.

Elle

11:47pm: We need to talk.

You lock your phone and set it on the nightstand, swallowing nervously as you return back to Jake.

“Who was it baby?” he asks, voice groggy and still half asleep.

“It was Elle. She wants to talk…”

—

The next morning you woke up almost exactly how you’d fallen asleep, tied and twisted with Jake, your limbs sweaty underneath the heavy covers. The memories of the night before came swirling back as the muscles of your insides began to throb. It really had been a while. But you welcomed the uncomfortable sensation, truly being thankful you could fulfill your human needs so effortlessly with him.

His hair was overtop of your face, just where you liked it. He stirred beside you, flipping his face to the other side, taking his locks with him. Then he propped up on his elbows, rubbing his face before looking at you with the sweetest smile.

“Mornin' sunshine.” You said, taking in the sight of him grinning with all his teeth. “You look like you got laid last night.”

“I’m on cloud fuckin’ 9, baby.” He giggled shyly, rolling himself to you and placing his elbows on either side of your head. “Actually got to sleep with the hottest girl I’ve ever seen last night.” He went on, laying sweet kisses to your lips.

“Oh really? How was that?” You played along.

His tongue brushed inside your mouth, instantly bringing back that feeling of want that lived deep in your bones. “Fuckin’ amazing. Perfect. I’d give you all the details, but…” he clicked his tongue. “Unfortunately I probably won’t get to do it again for a while, she said she wants to take things slow.”

“Ahh, that sucks. Well, maybe from time to time, when you’ve both built up so much tension…” you let your hands travel down to grip his ass, letting your fingernails dig in and pull him toward you, pressing his morning hard-on directly to your heat.

“…you both can talk about it again. Ya know, just hooking up every once in a while. You’re both adults, right?” You suggested, leaving the conversation open ended.

He moaned through a little cry, pushing himself against you again. “We are both adults. Nothing wrong with some healthy sex every once in a while, right?”

You pressed your lips to his again, licking into his mouth as you felt him hold himself back. “Nothing wrong with it at all…” he mumbled. “God you’re fuckin killing me again, Y/N. I gotta get up. Gotta go, do something…anything…” You giggled as you watched him walk to the bathroom, still completely nude. “Let’s go get coffee.”

——

Half an hour later, the two of you were sitting outside of your favorite coffee shop, sipping from your cups and sharing an oversized blueberry muffin.

“My abs are sore.” Jake said quietly as he stirred his coffee.

“Sore? From what? We hardly lasted five minutes each time…jeeze. Must be out of shape…” you shook your head at him playfully.

He scoffed. “Ugh leave me alone, it’s been a while. Plus I haven’t exercised in like, two months. I almost died of fuckin’ pneumonia and laid in a bed for two weeks, did you forget?” He spat back, sounding bratty as hell.

“Hm. Well. Guess you’ll just have to build that stamina back up then, won’t you?” You winked.

The courtyard in front of the coffee shop was semi crowded, lots of people with dogs and baby strollers. You watched as a young mom pushed a double carriage to the table beside you, parking it there and pushing the sun visor up to reveal two sleeping baby boys.

“Is anyone using this table?” She asked, taking her backpack off.

“No, no. All yours.” Jake smiled and moved a chair out of the way for her.

“Got some tiny ones there.” You said.

“They’re three months old today. Meeting my friend to celebrate their milestone with some coffee and way too much sugar!” She laughed.

“Oh, I bet you need all the caffeine you can get, huh?” You said.

“That’s an understatement…” she laughed as she waved her friend over to join her.

You and Jake sat in silence for a while, people watching and finishing your coffees. You started thinking, right then and there, about something that you truly hadn’t thought hard about in years. Something that, until recently, you’d buried away so far in your brain that you’d nearly forgotten, and the fact that you’d almost forgotten made you sick. A part of your life that you didn’t discuss, that you didn’t bring up, that was a secret from everyone you loved.

“What’s wrong baby? You’re being kinda quiet…” Jake interrupted your internalization.

You perked up. “Oh, nothing. Just kinda sleepy still.”

“Okay. We can take a nap later, if you want.” Jake suggested.

“Yeah, that sounds good to me, babe.” You answered blankly.

You both glanced over to the mom again as one of the babies woke up and started crying. You watched as she picked him up to console him, and watched as the other one instinctively opened his eyes at the sound of his brother’s crying.

“Ya know, me and Josh always used to wonder which one of us would end up with twins, since there’s such a big chance of that happening through generations. I always thought it’d be him.” Jake said.

You watched as the second baby moved his head around, eyes darting side to side, looking for his counterpart. Your heart nearly shattered into pieces. Even as young and tiny as he was, he looked lost, like his compass was going haywire…

“Watch it be Sam.” You responded.

Jake’s head snapped your way. “Really? You think? Why?”

You shrugged. “Just would be funny. Hey, you think your brothers would wanna come over for dinner tonight?”

“Yeah, probably. I think Sam and Elle are back, Danny texted me last night-”

“No, Jake. Just your brothers. Your blood ones.” You interrupted, earning a very strange look from him.

“Uh..I guess. I can… ask them. Why just them?” He pressed.

Your mind spun around as you tried to pull an excuse to get the three of them alone together.

“I want to talk to them. You. Just you three. About… everything.” You only half-lied. “Together, as a family.”

“Okayyyy, yeah, I’ll text them now. Uh, our house? 5:00?” He said, pulling out his phone.

“Perfect.” You took the opportunity to take your phone out as well, pulling up the text from Elle.

You

10:31am: Coffee tomorrow?

——

The rest of the day proceeded normally, you and Jake went home and did end up napping the rest of the afternoon away, him walking on eggshells at the uncertainty of why you wanted just Josh and Sam to come over this evening, but never pressing the issue with more questions.

“I’m starting the pasta babe! They should be here any minute!” Jake yelled from the kitchen as you finished up some laundry.

“Sounds good! I’m almost done here!” You shut the lid to the washing machine, nerves suddenly overtaking your body. You felt your face flush pink, and your stomach flipped over, making you feel sick. You leaned backwards onto the machine, fanning your face as the blood finally traveled back to your brain.

You rushed into the guest room, pulling the drawer to your nightstand open to reveal your barely-yet-used journal. You flipped to the last few pages, finding the old photograph perfectly safe there.

Fuck, you can do this.

Little did Jake know, you weren’t okay. You were terrified. And you were about to share with them your deepest, darkest secret.

——

“…and it wasn’t even the priest, it was his barber all along!” Josh had finished up with a twenty minute long joke, sending the four of you into stitches.

“That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard, Josh. My god.” Sam said.

“Well, it made you laugh didn’t it?” Josh retorted, making Sam throw his hands into the air.

Dinner was drawing to a close, and you knew the guys were getting antsy with their curiosity of asking them here tonight. All three of them.

“Another bottle, guys?” You said, standing from the table and clearing some of the plates away.

“Yeah, sure. And also when you come back, can you bring the reason you asked just us two to come over tonight?” Sam snapped, turning around in his seat to face you. Fuck you, Sammy.

You turned to shoot daggers at him, only to be met with three of almost the exact same face staring back at you. You dropped the plates into the sink, admitting defeat.

You slowly walked back over to the table, taking your seat. The three of them leaned in closely, watching your next move. You cleared your throat.

“Alright, alright.” Deep breath. “So, this…isn’t easy to say…so forgive me if I get, a little emotional, okay?” You asked, looking to all three of them, the people you loved most in this world, looking at you with so much worry and concern in their eyes you could explode.

“We grew up together right? Since we were babies, and stayed so close all these years, so I feel like I can trust each of you, even after all the bullshit we’ve been through, what I ultimately was the cause of, right?”

They all nodded, speaking quietly that yes, of course you could trust them.

“Sam, my very first chosen friend. Always there for me and always my rock ever since we could walk. I think you know me better than I know myself, and that’s a little terrifying. Always calling me out on my shit, and helping me fucking cause it, too.” You giggled, hoping that one day all of the stuff that happened in Vegas could become a joke.

“Well, ya know...” He laughed.

“Josh, you’re such a good big brother to them. And to me, you always were. You don’t even know you’re doing it, but you keep all of us so grounded and so in line, and so in love with life that you should win an award. And thank you, for helping me here lately. Taking me out of my comfort zone and under your wing. I don’t think you know how much I appreciate it.”

He nodded a sweet you’re welcome.

“And Jake, what the hell. Where do I even start? I’m so excited about this new life we’re building together, and how supportive you’ve always been of me. All the shit I put you through, it’s been some of the most horrible and beautifully messy times of my life. And I’m so thankful for you and all you do for us.”

“I’m also so proud of you guys.” You said, looking to Jake and Sam. “After all that shit in Vegas, you two can still find a way to love each other. And I am so wholeheartedly sorry about how that all went down. From the bottom of my heart, I swear.”

Jake reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly.

“I don’t know if you know, Jake, but Sam watched you go through something really traumatic in the hospital, and when he told me about it, god, it tore me to shreds. Seeing the love you guys all have for each other, it…” you couldn’t stop the tears that were forming in your eyes, as Jake squeezed your hand harder. “It made me realize some things. And I don’t want to run from it anymore. I want to share…everything. With you guys. With my family. Even my secrets.”

All three of them adjusted in their chairs, curiosity and apprehension written all over them. You stood up, went into the guest room, and re-emerged with your journal. You sat back down, and flipped to the very back page. You pulled the tiny photograph that was stuck between the pages, seeing it one last time by yourself before it became not only your secret, but theirs, too.

You turned it around so all three of them could see.

Sam and Jake simultaneously sat back in their seats, physically blown away by what you were showing them.

A blurry black and white sonogram image of a baby. Your baby. The one you never got to meet.

“It’s okay, it’s okay…it’s neither of yours…look at the date…” you said to them as you realized their instant state of panic.

“January 14, 2017.” Sam said, his breath falling out of him with relief. “Oh my god…”

“Baby, what the fuck is going on? What is this? Your name is on this…” Jake said, letting his emotions start to rise.

“Yeah, Jake. That’s because it was mine. Mine and Andy’s.” You relented.

You watched as their faces were painted with happiness, then shock, then sorrow.

“I never got to meet this baby, because right before I found out, Andy started showing his true colors in a more public way. Remember the night of the New Years Eve party? When he found us out on the porch?” You looked to Jake.

“The night he put his hands on me there, left bruises on my arms…all the horrible things he did even before that, you know. Well, I found out two weeks later. I didn’t tell him I was even going to the doctor to find out for sure.” Your tears finally decided to run over. “The night before my appointment, he was drunk. We got into an argument, he pushed me so hard into the wall that it busted a hole through. I thought for sure that if I was pregnant, I would have lost it that night, anyway. So I fought him off of me for another hour or so, let him pass out on the couch. The next day at my appointment, lo and behold, the baby was alright. But I wasn’t.”

“I was so devastated…the nurse at the clinic saw the bruises on me, noticed how much of a shell of a person I was, slipped me a brochure for noticing the signs of domestic abuse. God, it threw me for a loop…I never even thought that that was what I was enduring, all that time. Seeing it there on paper, that Andy was abusing me while I was being told I was most definitely going to be bringing his child into the world. It…fucking…” you were sobbing hard now, finally feeling the weight of the subject coming to the light like a weight off your entire being.

“I had to make the hardest decision of my entire life, that day. I had to decide. I had to keep myself safe, and I could barely do that. Andy was getting worse by the day. The thought of having to bring a baby…god, I couldn’t even…” you took a deep breath, feeling Jake’s arms wrapping around your back, pulling you tightly into him.

“Fuck, Y/N…” he cried into your hair.

You continued. “I never told Andy about it. I kept it a secret…from everybody. I felt so ashamed. A few weeks after I had the procedure, one of Andy’s fraternity brothers’ girlfriends decided to let it slip that she knew I was there…she worked at the clinic and recognized me I guess. Bitch. Completely against the fucking law, but. They told Andy, and he was infuriated. Said that I took something away from him without him even knowing he had it. Hated me for it, called me horrible things. Thinking back now, maybe I should have told him. I guess I could have given him that much. But honestly, things were getting so bad that I truly don’t think that tiny thing would have survived another night of its mother being thrown into the dining room table.”

Jake’s arms held you steady, his hands rubbing across your skin. You finally got the gumption to look at Josh and Sam, both of them absolutely fraught with sadness, tears falling hard from both of their faces. You could tell they were dying to speak, but neither of them had any clue what to say.

“The reason I’m telling you all of this is because you deserve an answer. I’ve lied about it for months. That’s why he’s stalking me. That’s why he’s been following us everywhere, breaking in and stealing your things…He’s obsessed with giving me what he thinks I deserve for taking that away from him. I’m scared he’s not gonna stop until he gets it. He’s getting worse, he’s in it too deeply now.”

Josh’s hands were folded in front of him, covering his mouth as his leg bounced up and down. Sam had his head hanging from his fingers laced through his hair, staring at the tiny photograph. Jake finally released you, squatting beside you to speak. He brought both hands to your face, slowly drifting his thumbs under your eyes to catch the tears that just wouldn’t stop coming.

“I love you so much, Y/N, I swear to god I do. I’m so sorry…” he whispered, pulling up to embrace you again. You let your arms wrap around him, your safe place, your home. He’d finally told you he loved you, after weeks of not hearing those words fall from his mouth.

“I love you too, Jake.” You said through cutting sobs. “I’m so sorry I never told you, told any of you. I should have been honest from the get go. I was just too afraid to tell the truth of why he was following me. Could’ve saved us a lot of difficulty.”

“No, no no…” they all chimed in unison.

“No, Y/N. That was something you didn’t have to share with us. You could’ve kept that secret for as long as you needed to.” Josh said.

“Yeah, this is him being crazy, not you. Don’t worry. We’ll keep you safe. All of us will.” Sam added. “He’s not gonna get what he thinks he deserves. We won’t let him.”

“Yeah, no way that fucker is getting anywhere near you ever again.” Jake added.

You nodded. “I’m trying really hard, guys. I’m trying to be better. I think getting this off my chest was the real start of it.” You said, tears staining Jake’s shirt. “I’m ready to heal.”

The other two silently made their way over to you and Jake, wrapping their arms all around you and each other as they held you in their own cage of protection.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, all embraced together, but right then you knew you’d made the right decision in telling them. They harbored no blame, no judgment, no ill feelings toward you. Just love. Devastatingly perfect love.

——

After a few minutes of silent sobs and embarrassed tears, the four of you stood to gather yourselves.

“Well, that was a lot, sorry guys.” You laughed nervously, stepping away a bit.

“Please stop apologizing, Y/N. There’s nothing at all to be sorry for. If anything you should be patting yourself on the back, for sharing that with us. That’s a huge step.” Josh said.

“Yeah, babe. Don’t be sorry to us. We’re all gonna get through it together. One step at a time, okay? We won't leave you.” Jake said, rubbing your shoulders from behind.

Sam walked up and took you in a giant embrace, his chin resting on your shoulder as he spun you in little half circles. “Can’t believe you held that in for so many years…I’m–I’m so sorry, Y/N.” His whisper was quiet in your ear. This was the closest you’d been with Sam since…

“Thanks, Sammy. It’s alright. In a dark place for way too long…ready to walk away from it.”

He pulled back, taking your head in his hands. “And we’ll be right here to hold your hand as you do. Okay?” You nodded, more tears forming as you felt his familiar comforting touch. He laid a sweet kiss to your forehead, and backed away. A little more light conversation added some happiness to the heavy atmosphere, and you suddenly felt yourself become extremely exhausted.

The air changed, and Josh and Sam caught the drift that it was time for them to go home. “Thanks for listening to me, guys. Means more than you know.” You told them as you walked them toward the door. “I’m gonna tell Elle and Daniel soon, so. Just wanted you three to know first.”

They nodded, sending you more sweet goodbyes as they shut the door behind them. You turned to see Jake leaned against the countertop, his face completely sunken in with an expression that didn’t make sense.

“You wanna go for a walk or something?” He said.

You sighed, walking back over to wrap yourself up in him. “No, I gotta clean up the kitchen.” You said.

“No, baby. That can wait until tomorrow. It’s fine.” Jake replied.

“Okay…kinda wanna go lay down again.” You laughed.

You walked under his arm back to the bedroom, changing into something comfy, and sliding back under the covers with him. He took you up in his arms, pulling you close as you let yourself finally breathe.

“I don’t know what to say, babe. I’m proud of you for being strong, though. I can’t believe you went so long holding that in…I couldn’t imagine what you’ve been going through keeping that to yourself.” Jake said, laying his cheek to your hair.

“I almost called you. That day I went to the clinic. I didn’t want to be alone, didn’t want to go by myself. But, I just…”

“You should’ve called me! I would have gone with you, talked to you…” he said, voice rising.

“You were in Europe, Jake. Not even in the same time zone. But, I did it. Got through it. It all…worked out…” you said, squeezing him tighter.

“I know…I’m so sorry baby.” he whispered.

You took another deep breath. “Jake, there’s more, though…”

He pulled back a bit, looking at you sternly, pity on his face. “More…?”

You buried your face in his chest. “After everything with the baby, in the year or so after, when I’d go to my annual checkups, they told me it was a miracle I even conceived at all. And after the procedure, I was left with a lot of internal scarring. Lots of… strange complications. Told me it would be extremely difficult for me to even get pregnant ever again, without intervention.”

“Fuck, babe…” he mouthed. You felt his body go limp.

You sat up, able to look him in the face now. “That’s why…that’s why I never told you about it. I didn’t think you’d want me anymore, if you knew I might not…”

“Shit, Y/N, no. No no no, please don’t.” He sat up and squeezed you again, more sobs rattling through your chest.

“It’s not fair to you, Jake. You deserve that. And I was selfish in not telling you, but I just love you so much, and everything was so scary and crazy, I didn’t want you not in my life…”

He pulled away, grasping both of your hands in his. “Listen to me, Y/N. You’re it for me. Okay? You always have been. I’m ready to have you any way you are, no matter what. Please, don’t for one second think that I think less of you. Ever. You’re the most amazing thing in my life and I’m not ever letting you go.”

“But what if I can’t give you what you’ve always wanted?” You cried.

“You are what I’ve always wanted, Y/N. Only you! As far as that goes…we will figure it out, babe. You and me. We’ll make it through all that together, okay? We have tons and tons of options. I’m not even worried about it.” He pulled you into him again, qualming your tears as he soothed you. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, but first we have a few places to stop along the way.”

“You think we will get there?” You breathed.

“Yeah baby… I know we will. I think about it almost everyday.” he says.

“You do?” you whisper.

“Yeah Y/N. I…I know you’re the one. You always have been. I was stupid to ever let you go. I’m not going to make that mistake again. I swear.” he says, pushing the hair from your face.

“I love you Jake.” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He pulls you down on top of him, holding you close to him as he kisses your head, “I love you too Y/N. I always always will. Until the day I die. I swear it.”

As you let him hold you, your mind raced again but a little more peacefully now, knowing that this was just the beginning. You’d started on a brand new journey, and family had taken on a whole new meaning. Facing it head on was going to be the challenge, but you felt stronger than ever. Ready to weather a new storm, with your compass heading set toward calmer seas.

But in the back of your mind lingered a persistent demon, one that had haunted and tormented you for years on end. And though you felt safe here in your lover’s arms, you knew that the storm was still brewing, waiting, ready to wash you away the second it could.

When someone we know and care about is impacted by domestic violence, it is hard to know how to help. But friends and family are important in supporting people experiencing domestic violence so they feel empowered to leave. Waiting for the perfect words could keep you from seizing the opportunity to change a life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, there is help. All it takes is one call to the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or Text START to 88788 to discuss your situation.

For more help identifying the signs of domestic abuse visit this site for tons of helpful resources.

If you are pregnant and unsure about your feelings or what to do next, we recommend calling the All-Options Talkline at 1-888-493-0092 from anywhere in the United States or Canada. All-Options offers unconditional, judgment-free support for people in all of their decisions, feelings, and experiences with pregnancy, parenting, abortion, and adoption.

Vigilance The Outtakes : Disruption

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deerlottie · 12 days

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Okay but R being obsessed with the girls boobs? Especially Shauna’s.. Like y’all have had a weird sort of “Friends with Benefits but not really” sort of thing going on that mainly consists of Shauna fucking the shit out of you and shit talking Jackie and her boyfriend the entire time (because you both know that’s who she really wants) and you just can’t stay away. R more or less being the team’s bicycle because they aren’t good at sports but they are good at stress relief.

Shauna gets pregnant and therefore super horny and R just can’t stay away from her chest. Biting at her chest, sucking her nipples, pinching, it doesn’t matter, R enjoys doing it and Shauna seems to enjoy it. Being woken up in the middle of the night so Shauna can hump against your tdick as she all but shoves her chest in your face with a mumble about “pressure” or some such thing. You both know she’s just woken up from some wet dream or another but you’re happy to get her off if it means more of her chest in your face. You don’t even care if she calls you Jackie in the middle of it, not really.

Pregnant and horny Shauna needing some kind of stress relief and you’re the only one she allows to touch her now that Jackie’s gone.

always been iffy and pregnant sex idk why 😭 but with shauna its okay because....shes shauna. but ughhhh being their stress reliever :3 especially after a bad game or rough day :( theyre just all on you trying to get a piece and staring at their tits while they ride your tdick.

her breasts are so sore, and you feel bad about how much shes complaining about them so ofc you help her out! laying her down and just worshipping them - massaging and biting at them until shes sighing out in pleasure. sometimes after sex, she ends up sleeping on top of you with her chest in your face incase either of you wakes up horny :P

thinking of her after jackie's death... shes even crazier and she exclusively only calls you jackie during sex. sometimes she'll slip up and call you jax while asking you to come with her to find some more branches for the fire too. only saying this cause i saw a tiktok about it yesterday 😭 but lifting up her stomach while she humps your leg to get off and she's so louddd :( just raspy little moans and nearly ripping your pants with how hard she's clawing at you.

also....i feel like she would For Sure take you into the shack where jackie's body is to have fun times in there too 😭😭😭

#shauna shipman thoughts 💭

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faithisasuperstar · 5 months

Text

better in the dark → coral

coral!tbosas x reader

a/n → i have the feeling that my writing has been getting progressively worse (it’s getting short and sloppy + my grammar is slipping) because i’ve been trying to write so much all at once lol so i maybe just maybe will take a short break before posting anything else

notes → in which you savor some of the last moments you will have with coral before the games, even though you can hardly see her. feminine intended reader

warnings → possibly the WORST thing i’ve written (but i still want you to read it lol), sorry guys, inspo is low at the moment. very very ooc coral in my opinion. not edited & uploaded via iphone

coral’s hands brushed yours as she reached them through the bars. you allowed her to grab onto them, shivering at her icy touch. even though it was the middle of a rather hot summer, nights still grew chilly.

“we’ll meet again tomorrow morning to have a final goodbye.“ you informed her in a whine, she hummed in response. for some reason, saying it out loud hurt. but the ache in your heart seemed to waver as coral reached a hand up to cup your face, causing you to look her in the eyes for the first time tonight. you were afraid that if you made eye contact with her you wouldn’t be able to let her go, but it was too late now. mentally, you cursed yourself for how fast you got attached to people. in the two weeks that coral had been in the capitol, you were sure you had fallen in love with her. and maybe you had been looking at her through rose colored glasses, but even then, rose colored glasses had no effect in the dark night. deep down you knew you had fallen for her.

no matter how much time you spent preparing her, there was no guarantee that she would win the games. out of the other girls, sure, she was one of the strongest. but the guys were what you worried about. reaper and tanner posed a huge threat to the girl, but coral assured you that she could handle it. not to mention jessup, who was easily the biggest and strongest tribute of them all. your mind was working overtime as you brainstormed all of the different ways she could win, and the possibilities of her being killed. you were so focused that you hadn’t realized you were biting your lip, almost to the point of drawing blood. it wasn’t until coral began gliding her thumb over your knuckles that you were taken out of your trance.

“what’s wrong?” she asked you, mildly concerned.

“just… thinking about what could happen out there.” you admitted, eyes softening.

“i told you already, baby, don’t you worry about me. i’ve got it covered.” she smiled reassuringly at you, though you could hardly tell because of how dimly lit it had become now. it was almost like the moon was hiding from you. you felt as if she was far too calm for someone in her situation, it irked you. while you had been beyond anxious all day on behalf of coral, here she was, all mellow in the face of death. maybe it was just a facade on coral’s part, but you felt helpless at the fact that you didn’t know how to properly help her.

“but coral, i’m your mentor!” you reminded her, as well as yourself. bringing up your status reminded you that falling in love with a district tribute would be more than looked down upon in your society. “it’s my job to worry about you-“ you stated, but were cut off as she pulled you closer to her, pressing her lips to yours. you melted into her touch, unable to stop yourself from leaning in closer. but sadly, the kiss seemed to end as soon as it started.

“that shut you up,” she teased, smirking.

“you can’t just… you can’t just do that!” you complained in a huff, pouting.

“you won’t allow a dead woman one last kiss? you monster!” coral joked, chuckling silently.

“don’t say that either, coral. you’re not going to die.” it seemed more like a bitter attempt to convince yourself rather than coral. besides, you were supposed to be the cynical one here, not her. but then again, she had every right to feel that way. when twenty-four go in and only one comes out, it was easy to feel hopeless. who were you to dictate how she felt? you felt like a terrible, entitled person, and maybe you were. but coral seemed to look past that. you avoided her eyes once more, looking down at your shoes instead in guilt.

“i’m just joking, pretty girl.” she remarked, but her tone seemed more solemn now. your eyes wandered back to hers. silence hung in the air as a few moments passed.

“is it bad that i might love you?” the question slipped from your mouth in a single breath.

“yes,” was her grim reply. it broke your heart to hear, even if she was probably right. but that didn’t stop her from pulling you close once more, pressing her lips against yours passionately. thank goodness for the dark. if she had seen you in this moment with your nose runny, puffy, red eyes from crying so much, and cheeks flushed, you were sure you would die of embarrassment. but all your emotions seemed to flutter away when she was this close to you now. when her lips were on yours, nothing in the past, present, or future mattered, it was just coral and you.

#coral tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #the hunger games x reader #thg x reader #thg fanfiction #coral tbosas x reader #coral thg #coral x reader #coral #tbosas x reader #tbosas fanfiction #coral thg x reader #Spotify

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damn-stark · 1 year

Text

Chapter 2 Stars and scars

Chapter 2 of Moonlight

Chapter 2 Scars and stars

A/N- Are you guys enjoying it?

Warning- Swearing, Aegon, some fluff, LONG CHAPTER, blood, violence, ANGST.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode- 1x08

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

“We join today at the Seat of the Sea to commit the Lady Laena of House Velaryon to the eternal waters, the dominion of the Merling King where He will guard her for all the days to come.”

Not long ago a raven came with the tragic news of Lady Laena’s death not so long after arriving at Dragonstone. Ever since then your father has been quiet as he grieved his sister. And ever since then, you’ve wanted to have something to say besides “I’m sorry”, but you cannot find any words to make his pain any less. Not this time.

All you can offer him is your comfort as he stands watching the guards wrapping a rope around the casket.

“…As she sets to sea for her final voyage, the Lady Laena leaves two true-born daughters on the shore.”

You wish you could offer your cousins comforting words too. And you have shared a few sweet words since you saw them again after missing them, but it doesn’t feel like enough. It truly feels like you haven’t done enough to console them or your father.

“Though their mother will not return from her voyage,” Ser Vaemond says loudly to be heard over the crashing waves. “They will all remain bounded together in blood. Salt courses through Velaryon blood. Our runs thick, our runs true….”

You blink slowly as the words register in your mind. It doesn’t affect you right away, they were nice words, but you then follow his line of gaze and see Ser Vaemond looking at your mother and brothers as he spoke those words, and you realize exactly what he’s referring to. What an asshole.

“And our must never thin,” he adds and only further narrows his glare, making you begin to curl your lip to a scowl.

However, it’s at that moment as well that Prince Daemon laughs. He just laughs. It’s his wife’s funeral what's so funny to him?

Does he know?

“My gentle niece,” Ser Vaemond continues to say gently against the sea breeze whilst the guards begin to drag the casket to the waters below. “May the winds be as strong as your back, your seas as calm as your spirit, and your nets be as full as your heart. From the seas, we came. To the sea, we shall return.”

The casket splashes into the water, causing your father to drop his head and let out a shaky breath while tears fall and hit the stone below your feet. You can’t say you share his grief, she was your aunt but you hardly knew her since they lived so far, you only ever talked to her the times your grandmother Rhaenys took you with her to visit them.

You can’t say you feel grief and heartbreak, nor do you ever want to feel that ache, you don’t want to lose your parents…at least not yet, but you do hug your father's arm tighter and only nuzzle your head more on his shoulder.

He reacts to your touch this time. He doesn’t lift his head, he just lifts one hand off the other and gently caresses your arm with his thumb to tell you he acknowledges your comfort. So you remain like that for a while longer, even as the people join the festivity above you remain by your father's side just standing in the silence of his grief. Even as your mother and brothers go up you stay with him, and he never complains. It seems he appreciates having someone to quietly comfort him. And well, you also find relief in giving such comfort.

Perhaps you would have stayed with him all night if he wanted to stay there, but your grandmother then came to you.

“Darling, why don’t you come with me and eat something, hm?”

You lift your head off your father's shoulder to meet her gaze and hesitate. You don’t want to leave him alone, but maybe he does want some privacy, so you let him go and walk up with her.

“You’ve grown a lot more since the last time I saw you,” she mentions softly. “You’re almost a woman grown.”

You shift your eyes to meet hers and nod in agreement. “I am. Sometimes though, I do wish I could stay young forever.”

Your grandmother laughs softly. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll enjoy adulthood. There’s a lot to enjoy.”

You blink with disbelief and probe on that. “Is there? Sometimes I’m unsure.”

Your grandmother cups your shoulder and stops you as you reach the table of food. “I can guarantee you there is. Once you look past all our responsibilities as women and royalty.”

You muster a soft smile at her words even if you’re unsure whether to believe her or not. You don’t add anything on the matter though and soon sigh and begin to lose your smile.

“I’m sorry,” you tell her sincerely. “About your loss, grandmother.”

You reach over and give her hand a gentle squeeze. Said woman holds your gaze and softens her smile. “Thank you, darling, now why don’t you grab something to eat and go with your cousins. They might need a few kind words or just your company.”

You nod in agreement and do the first thing she told you to do, but then find yourself away from your cousins and against the balcony that overlooks the crashing waters below after you catch a glimpse of your father just standing on the shore. Lucerys and your uncle Prince Daemon stand at opposite sides, each doing their own thing while you just watch your father let the waves crash into his legs.

For once being still and doing nothing doesn’t bother you, you’re too worried about your father to do anything but be as close as you can out of concern. You just watch him with pity, and with annoyance at your own self that you can’t help him.

“Afraid he’ll drown himself?” A manly voice interjects.

You lift your eyes to look at who had spoken beside you and see your uncle Prince Daemon. He looks a bit smug about what he just said too—is his wife’s funeral some joke to him?

Or is this how he grieves?

You sigh. “I’m just worried,” you answer out of respect. “I’m sorry for your loss, uncle.”

Prince Daemon blinks and lets his gaze linger on you for a moment with his lips slightly parted, and then his eyes just partially narrow. You can’t read what he might be thinking, all you can do is watch as he steals a glance at the crowd. You quickly follow his line of gaze and notice that he’s looking at your mother; she has her back turned and there’s other people around her, but you know, you feel that’s who he’s looking at before he drops his gaze and sighs.

“Thank you, Princess,” he finally says after a few awkward seconds of silence of him just staring.

You hum softly and offer him a partial smile before you look back at your father. You were going to find comfort by slouching and crossing your arms over the balcony to rest your chin on your hands, but you then catch a glimpse of Lucerys’s even gloomier look and turn to face your little brother instead.

“How are you holding, Luce?” You ask him.

Said boy slowly lifts his gaze to meet yours and sighs deeply as if he feels the greatest sorrow of all when in reality he’s just sad because everyone is. He didn’t know Lady Laena, nor does he know that….his real father, Ser Harwin is dead—

A fire in his cursed castle, Harrenhal, they said.

Shame really, Ser Harwin was a good man. He really loved your mother and siblings, you could tell that much.

“Will mother die too?” Lucerys asks in a shaky voice.

Oh, sweet boy.

You crouch to get at his level and shake your head. “One day,” you tell him the truth. “Dying is a natural part of life. But you don’t have to worry, Mother won’t leave us anytime soon.”

Lucerys swallows thickly and doesn’t lose the grief from his face. “Will you die?”

You can’t help but smile as you shake your head again. “You’re stuck with me for a long time.” You assure him and reach over to ruffle his hair. “That sound good?”

Lucerys lets out a relieved breath and nods. “Yes.”

“Good,” you whisper and stand up straight. “Now why don’t we go to Baela and Rhaena?”

Lucerys turns to grab his wooden horse once again. “I’ll stay here a bit longer.”

You don’t force him or try to argue, you leave him be and steal one last glance at your father before turning to head to where Rhaena and Baela are. Albeit you do run into someone not so long after you depart.

“Where is your father?” Your grandfather Corly’s asks you as he pulls his eyes away from the crowd to meet yours.

You look out at sea and respond. “At shore. He’s been there for quite some time.”

He pats your shoulder and throws you a quick passing comment, “okay thank you, darling.” He then walks past you, and you look back and watch him approach Lucerys by the balcony railing.

You pay them no mind and then look ahead to walk to your previous destination, having to maneuver through the crowd of guests paying their respects. You pass by Aegon too and hope he keeps distracted by the serving girl he’s bothering.

But your hopes are futile since he quickly manages to run up to you and throw his arm around your shoulders. “Sweet niece,” he greets with his wine breath wafting in your nose. “How I've missed you so. Home is truly not the same without you, the halls stand quiet without your precious song, and the castle is dull without your beauty.”

You shove his arm off you and part your lips to rebuttal, but someone cuts in first. “Leave her alone, Aegon.”

It’s Aemond.

Both Aegon and you look at your side and see Aemond approaching you both. And you both smile, albeit you smile at Aemond out of awe, and Aegon smiles at his brother out of mockery.

“Oh, feeling protective already brother?” Aegon teases Aemond. “Such a gentleman,” he snickers. “But you need not worry, I was just telling her how much she’s missed at home that’s all. But,” he snickers. “If you wish me to leave her alone, I will.” He shoots you a smirk before he turns and chases after another poor serving girl, letting you turn to Aemond and making him walk with you toward your cousins.

“Do you miss me terribly?” You ask.

Aemond swallows thickly and then answers. “I suppose…sleepless nights are quite boring now that you’re not there to keep me company.”

You smile wider at his response as your cheeks begin to burn. “That’s good,” you say nervously, which is odd to feel around him. “I too have now spent my nights bored. Albeit, at Dragonstone in the middle of the night when the castle is quiet, I can hear the dragon's songs. They sing at the moon…at least I like to think of it that way.” You smile softly. “There was also one night when I was out on my balcony and heard a cry I never heard before. It was the howl from a wolf; it was the most beautiful thing I’ve heard. It filled me with so much joy.”

Aemond hums softly in comprehension and you look at the sky ahead.

“Well at home you can hear the occasional shout from a worker or a drunk from the streets below.” He says with a teasing smile.

You chuckle and nod. “Yes, I remember, but strangely I don’t miss it. I enjoy the silence.” You blink and look down, catching at that moment the distant narrowed gaze of the Queen trained on you.

Her narrowed gaze makes you uneasy, but you don’t leave Aemond’s side like she probably wanted you to, you stay and continue to talk to him. “I’m sure you’d like Dragonstone. It’s quite nice.”

“I'm sure I would,” he says in agreement.

You look away from Queen Alicent and notice that you’re now approaching your cousins, and your grandmother with them so you turn and face Aemond. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Aemond looks at Baela and Rhaena and then meets your gaze to nod before he parts away, letting you approach Rhaena, Baela, and your grandmother.

You offer both of your cousins a faint smile before you fall by Rhaena’s side and take her hand to give it a comforting squeeze. You proceed to stand in silence and can’t help but glance ahead, noticing Prince Daemon first and right away noticing he's focused on something ahead of him again, so you follow his line of gaze and catch your mother just across his eyesight.

Why do they keep looking at each other? Sure you might be young but you recognize those…longing stares.

What if he turns out to be your mother's lover just as Ser Harwin was hers, that’d be…well it would be good since Baela and Rhaena would be closer, but it’d be weird, no?

He’s sort of odd now that you’ve met him….

Regardless, you look away and focus back on your cousins before you notice more of what you don’t want to see. “Do either of you want anything?” You ask. “I can go get it for you.”

Rhaena shakes her head, and Baela speaks up quietly. “I'm fine, thank you.”

You’ve already said you’re sorry, so you just stay with them and wrap an arm around Rhaena to pull her in a hug.

She finds comfort in your partial embrace and wraps her arms around you to keep you close as she cries more. You let her stay for as long as she needs, you don’t mind, however, soon thereafter your mother walks over to your brothers nearby. “Go to bed,” she tells them.

“But mother,” Jacaerys rebuttals.

“Go to bed,” she insists as if in a hurry. She then looks over at you to meet your gaze and then points at your brothers with her eyes, and lastly, points at the building, letting you understand one thing; take your brothers to bed.

It's a speechless look, but you’ve learned to read what she means.

“I’m going to bed,” you tell Rhaena and Baela after you pull your gaze away from your mother's disappearing figure as she climbs down the steps that lead to the shore. “Goodnight. I’ll see you on the morrow.”

Rhaena pulls away from you and nods, letting you crouch to press a kiss on your grandmother's cheek before you meet up with your brothers and grab their shoulders to walk them to their chambers.

——

*LATER THAT NIGHT*

Quiet. It’s quiet and peaceful at Driftmark.

Much like at your new home Dragonstone, you can hear the waves crashing. That sound is loud but it brings comfort and lulls you to sleep right on top of Astraea.

Sure, you were sent to bed by your mother, but it was far too early for you and Astraea isn’t chained up and far like in King’s Landing, so you took advantage of her freedom and came to her resting by the shore. And! She also took no time to gently fly you under the stars, she loves your company and being around you, she also finds comfort in flying under the stars and skimming over the glimmering ocean with you resting on her back.

The only reason why you wake up is because she lands on shore, otherwise, you would’ve been perfectly fine sleeping on top of her all night even if it would’ve been uncomfortable.

“<You’re right,” you mutter to Astraea in High Valyrian as you sit up and stretch out your arms. “I should return to the castle.>” You let out a yawn before you swing your leg over your saddle and climb down.

When you hit the soft sand you keep your hand on your dragon and graze it along her as you walk to her head. “<I’ll return tomorrow,” you assure your dragon. “Promise.> You offer her a smile before you press your forehead against her.

Astraea mewls softly before she gently leans against you, causing you to grin brighter.

It hurts to leave her even if you’re still in the same place, but you must return before someone doesn’t find you in your quarters and causes a panic. Albeit you do take the long way back inside because you make sure to stroll through the grounds and really take in your father's home place.

It is rather small in truth, but it's still beautiful. And there’s a lot of room to roam. When you get close to getting inside, to avoid running into guards right away, you avoid the big doors and find a tunnel that leads inside.

Now you find that it is brightly lit by torches aligned along the stone walls, but it seems rather unoccupied, regardless of the fact. However, you're still careful and walk slowly in case there is someone.

And just as it seems like you’ll make it out of the tunnel without running into someone, you catch the sound of rustling feet against the sand and dirt floor and stop immediately to listen in.

“You will die screaming in flames just as your father did!” Someone exclaims; it’s a familiar voice that seems to belong to Aemond, but it’s filled with a rage that’s unknown to your ears. “Bastards!”

Your breath catches in your throat out of disbelief at the sound of his words, leaving you unable to move as you grow terribly confused as to why he would dare spit out such a venomous insult.

“My father is still alive.” You recognize that crying instantly, it’s Lucerys.

Why is he down here too?

Without waiting a moment longer, without waiting for any context over what’s going on, you break away from your spot and head to where the voices come from.

“He doesn’t know does he?” You hear Aemond snap. “Lord Strong?”

Is Jacaerys there too?

You quicken your pace and finally come across the scene, catching Baela holding onto Rhaena; whom are bleeding. You then notice Lucerys bleeding and crying on the floor, and lastly you notice Jacaerys with a blade gleaming in his hand, and then Aemond with his back turned to you with a rock in his hand. They’re fighting, but why?

Regardless, neither of the boys notice you, it seems Jacaerys is too focused on Aemond in front of him to notice you hidden under the shadows. The girls do notice you, but they don’t call out to you as to not startle Aemond or Jacaerys.

You take that in your favor to break into a sprint and charge at the spot between both boys. And yes, Jacaerys has a blade in hand, he looks the most guilty without any context, but Lucerys is crying and bleeding the most, and so are your cousins. Aemond might be your best friend, you might be partners in the future, but your brothers come first. Always. Without a fault.

It’s why you call out to Aemond first. “Aemond—”

However, just as you get in between Aemond and Jacaerys, suddenly something sharp and hard slices up over half of your face, triggering writhing pain, and causing blood to begin pouring out. And since you were caught off guard the power of the impact knocks you to the ground.

The moment your body hits the ground Baela and Rhaena cry out your name, as soon as Jacaerys snaps from his stupor he calls out for you too, and finally drops his blade and falls on his knees beside you.

Tears escape past your eyes because of the pain even if you’re trying to be strong. “Ar—are you okay?” You try to ask Jace as you slowly lift your face to meet his worried gaze.

But at that moment, Aemond interjects with your name uttered in disbelief.

You slowly meet his widened gaze and notice the cuts on his face that are bleeding as well, while that anger you heard in his voice before is gone now as he sees your cut barely hidden under your hand as you try to press on it.

“I,” he shakes his head and steps forward.

Yet before he can get any closer a cry breaks out in the stunned silence that filled the tunnel. “Don’t touch my sister!” Lucerys shouts as he charges at Aemond and swings the blade he has in hand up against Aemond’s face.

Right away Aemond cries out in pain and falls to the floor grabbing at his face, while Lucerys begins to slowly approach you.

“Aemond?” You call out and sit up.

“Cease this at once!” A voice booms and hurried footsteps rush inside.

You look back and see that it’s Ser Harold and other Knights of the Kingsguard.

“Get away!” Ser Harrold commands as he approaches Aemond writhing in pain.

“Give me your hand,” Rhaena breaks your attention away from Aemond.

“Princess,” a knight calls out and approaches you as Rhaena and Jacaerys are helping you to your feet.

“Gods be good,” you catch Ser Harrold mutter.

You try to look at Aemond, but then you’re led out of the tunnel by the knights.

“Lucerys,” you call out to the boy walking by your side. “What happened let me see.”

Your little brother turns to face you as you’re getting escorted to the main hall, and you see that his nose is bleeding and a bit crooked.

It must be broken.

“You’re bleeding,” he points out as the blood slows down but keeps trickling down your burning cheek.

“So are you,” you point out. “We’ll get you better, okay?”

He nods and raises his hand to let it hover over his nose. You then turn to your cousins to examine them, but it doesn’t seem like they broke anything. “Baela, Rhaena, are you two okay?” You ask anyway through your pain.

Baela meets your gaze and quickly finds your cut and nods. “Yes, we’re fine. You’re not.”

You hum and then try to look back at Aemond following behind all of you, but before you can see how badly he’s hurt you’re ushered into the hall. They sit you down by the doors, and your brothers and cousins surround you whilst Ser Harrold walks Aemond close to the fireplace to sit him down on a chair, blocking your view and only letting you hear his complaints.

Soon the room begins to fill as maesters are brought in, one for Aemond and one to tend to you. Queen Alicent, Helaena, and Aegon then rush in, your grandfather the King then follows and looks immediately bewildered by what he sees; Aemond getting his wound cleaned and stitched up, and you in the same predicament, but says nothing, he watches instead.

After the maester stops your bleeding and begins to clean your wound, you feel how long the cut is; it starts from your cheek and trails up to where your cheekbone starts. It's deep too, or so you heard the maester say through the stinging pain that clouds your mind as he daps the wet cloth on your cut.

You do hope the pain will be over soon, but it only worsens as the maester then begins to stitch up your wound. Luckily Lucerys and Rhaena are holding your hands, it comforts you.

However, you still don’t know why the fight was caused. Like the adults in the room, you’re just learning too.

“How could you allow such a thing to happen?” You hear your grandfather finally ask. “I will have answers.”

“The princes were supposed to be abed, My King,” Ser Harrold says.

“Who had the watch?”

“Young prince was attacked by his own cousins, Your Grace,” Ser Criston interjects.

“You swore oaths to protect and defend my blood,” your grandfather argues.

“I’m very sorry, Your Grace,” Ser Harrold apologizes. Unlike Ser Criston.

“The Kingsguard has never had to defend princes from princes,” the young knight counters.

“That is no answer!” Your grandfather cuts him off.

“Almost done,” the maester tells you as he impales the needle in your flesh once again, making you wince and hold on tighter to Rhaena’s hand.

“It will heal, will it not maester?” You overhear Queen Alicent ask about Aemond, causing you to hold your breath.

“The flesh will heal,” the maester responds, “but the eye is lost, Your Grace.”

You gasp softly and lower your gaze from the disbelief and guilt, even if it wasn’t you who caused it.

“Where were you?” Alicent then yells.

“Me?” Aegon asks and then exclaims. “Ow! What was that for?”

You look up and see her hitting him, but why? He wasn’t even near, you only came across them because you were sneaking back into the castle. Aegon is a creep, but he wasn’t there to deserve to get punished.

“That was nothing compared to the abuse your brother suffered while you were drowning in your cups, you fool!” Alicent spats at Aegon with unnecessary fury against him.

“What is the meaning of this?!” The sound of your grandfather Corlys’s voice booms in, making you want to look back, but you can’t, so you're just left hearing him, and then your grandmother as she rushes in after him.

“Baela! Rhaena!”

Both girls look back, however, Rhaena doesn’t leave your side, but Baela does meet your grandmother halfway.

“What happened?” Your grandmother asks her before she calls out your name with worry and finally comes into view before you, along with your grandfather.

“Gods,” she mutters as she crouches down beside the maester and places her hand over your arm.

And now that you see her, now that she comforts you, the emotions get the best of you, the pain riddles you, and you can’t help but begin to cry.

“Will she heal?” Your grandmother asks, whilst your grandfather tilts his head to study your cut.

The maester finally pulls back and looks at your grandmother. “The flesh will, but it will scar.”

You gasp and your chest only gets heavier with more emotion.

“Who did this?” Your grandfather demands to know. “Who did this to you?”

You swallow thickly and without saying anything you look over at where Aemond is sitting. Both of your grandparents follow your line of gaze and find Aemond.

Before your grandfather can say anything though, the door opens and you instantly hear your mother call out to you and your brothers.

You drift your eyes over to her and see her rushing over, causing your grandparents to move to the side to let her reach you.

Now that you see her too, those emotions weighing you down find a way out through a shaky sob.

“Let me see, let me see,”

You slide your hands away from Lucerys and Rhaena’s hands to grab your mother's wrist as she cups your jaw and tilts your head to study the now stitched-up cut.

“Will it heal?” She asks the maester the same question just asked seconds ago.

“Mother,” you whimper out.

“The flesh will heal,” the maester repeats. “But it will scar.”

Your mother's gaze falls back on you filled with pity and hurt. “Oh my sweet,” she whispers and caresses your other cheek.

“Lucerys,” you point out now. “He’s hurt too.”

At the mention, her eyes snap to your brother still beside you. “Show me, show me,” she says as she moves to focus on him.

“I’m sorry Mother,” you instantly apologize. “I was out with Astraea and when I got there he was already hurt. They all were, I’m sorry.”

She swallows thickly and lets her gaze linger on Lucerys nose for a second longer before she meets your watery gaze. “It’s okay, my sweet, it’s okay. I believe you,” she assures you.

“I’m sorry Luce,” you now direct at him. “I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head very softly and assures you just like your mother did. “It’s okay it’s not your fault. Are you better?”

You sigh and nod to comfort his worry. “I will be.”

He grabs onto your hand again and stays close as your mother looks back at the crowd. “Who did this?” She asks.

“The twins and the boys attacked me!” Aemond blurts as he turns around on his chair, letting you finally see the injury he sustained—His eye is swollen and red, the cut is long and deep, and it starts over his eyebrow and crosses across his eye, ending on his cheek.

As the other kids begin to argue back in their defense all you can focus on is Aemond’s wound. The blood is now dry but to your own guilty eyes, it's bright, still fresh, and the cut is still open. All that you can think about is the fact that he’ll never see out of that eye again.

Will he hate you now too?

“It should be my son telling the tale!” Queen Alicent cutting into the kids' argument breaks you from your train of thought.

“He called us—”

“Silence!” Your grandfather cuts everyone off and only provides more tension.

“He called us bastards,” Jace whispers to your mother, making her stand and turn to face the crowd.

Before she can say anything though, your grandfather calls out to you, making you slowly drift your eyes over to him. “Tell me the truth of what happened.”

Your gaze snaps to your mother as she peers back. You don’t ask her anything out loud, but you ask for reassurance with your eyes.

She nods softly, letting you return your attention to your grandfather.

“I’m sorry, Your Grace, but I was not there to see all of the fight,” you tell the truth. “I was out with Astraea and when I was coming back inside I ran into them already fighting. I tried to stop it, but…” you hesitate as you’re stuck whether saying his name even if everyone knows already.

Can you go against him? You ask yourself.

“Say it,” your grandfather commands as he notices your silence.

“I was hurt on accident…”

“I didn’t mean it,” Aemond blurts. “She got in the way.”

Your gaze drifts to where he is, and even if he doesn’t turn around, you keep your eyes there for a lingering second before you continue. “After that is when Lucerys hurt Aemond,” you finish and right away drop your gaze and begin to bite the inside of your left cheek.

“Now you, Aemond,” your grandfather continues as he begins to limp towards Aemond. “I will have the truth of what happened. Now.”

“What else is there to hear?” Queen Alicent cuts in. “Your son has been maimed. Her son is responsible.”

“It was a regrettable accident.” Your mother quickly cuts in.

“Accident?” Alicent quips. “The prince Lucerys brought a blade to the ambush. He meant to kill my son.”

You quickly look up and begin to narrow your gaze on Alicent, knowing she was being overly dramatic.

“My daughter was maimed as well, and my sons were attacked and forced to defend themselves and their sister.” Your mother counters with anger. “Vile insults were levied against my sons.”

“What insults?” Your grandfather the King questions right away.

“The legitimacy of my son's birth was put loudly to question.”

“What?” Your grandfather presses your mother.

“He called us bastards,” Jacaerys cuts in, bringing a brief silence as everyone involved takes in what was said.

“My sons are in line to inherit the Iron Throne, Your Grace,” your mother continues. “This is the highest of treasons. Prince Aemond must be sharply questioned so we might learn where he heard such slanders.”

Said boy looks back with his eyebrow furrowed in what you can read as…annoyance?

“Over an insult?” Queen Alicent mutters. “My son has lost an eye.”

Over an insult that he had to learn from someone; your grandfather wouldn’t say it, maybe others at court would, but why would Aemond listen to them, which leaves the one person who spends the most time with him, her. He learned it from her.

“You tell me, boy,” your grandfather presses Aemond harder as he gets closer. “Where did you hear this lie?”

“The insult was training yard bluster,” Alicent quickly cuts in for Aemond. “The lot of boys, it was nothing.”

“Aemond,” your grandfather ignores her. “I asked you a question.”

“Where is Ser Laenor, I wonder? The children’s father.” Alicent cuts in again, this time with an off topic question, as if she’s nervous. “Perhaps he might have something to say in the matter.”

“Yes,” your grandfather agrees with her for the first time tonight. “Where is Ser Laenor?”

“I do not know, Your Grace,” your mother responds, “I…could not find sleep. I had gone out to walk.”

“Entertaining his young squires, I would venture,” Alicent dares to rebuttal, making your face twist to a scowl, and for a scoff to escape past your lips.

Not only that but in the silence that consumed the hall you manage to hear a snicker, you quickly look over at where it comes from and see Ser Criston snickering like a gossiping girl. What a piece of shit.

You let go of Lucerys hand and fist your hands before you try to push yourself. However, before you can get up, a heavy hand pushes you down. You quickly look back and see that it’s your grandfather Corlys.

He doesn’t say anything, but you know not to pursue anything, even if all you want to do is call Ser Criston out.

“Aemond,” your grandfather the King cuts in and ignores Alicent’s comment. “Look at me. Your King demands an answer. Who spoke these lies to you?”

You let out an annoyed breath and tilt your head to try and see him, but there’s people in the way so you wait for an answer in the short silence.

“It was Aegon.” He deadpans.

“Me?” Said boy asks in confusion.

Now the attention goes to him, and your grandfather the King limps towards him as well to interrogate him. “And you, boy? Where did you hear such calumnies? Aegon! Tell me the truth of it!”

“We know, father,” you hear Aegon answer. “Everyone knows. Just look at them.”

All eyes drift to your brothers by your mother. Nothing is said but the tension heightens, making you sink further in your own seat.

“This interminable infighting must cease!” Your grandfather the King shouts as he slams his cane against the stone floor. “All of you! We are a family! Now make your apologies and show goodwill to one another. Your father, your grandsire, your king demands it!” He then begins to walk away from his children, no one adds anything else on the matter, but Alicent then interrupts and tries to continue the argument.

“That is insufficient. Aemond has been damaged permanently, My King. Goodwill cannot make him whole.”

“I know, Alicent. But I cannot restore his eye.”

“No, because it’s been taken!” She cuts him off.

“What would you have me do?” Your grandfather argues.

“There is a debt to be paid,” she daringly shares. “I shall have one of her son's eyes in return.”

You gasp and stand up to pull back Lucerys as he backs away out of fear.

“My dear wife—”

“He is your son, Viserys!” Alicent cuts your grandfather off with a shaky voice. “Your blood.”

“Do not allow your temper to guide your judgment,” he counters regardless of what she said.

Albeit she continues. “If the King will not seek justice, the Queen will. Ser Criston, bring me the eye of Lucerys Velaryon.”

Your eyes widen with shock, whilst you also fill with fear. However, you still tighten your grip on Lucerys shoulder and continue to pull him back with you.

“Mother,” he cries out desperately.

“He can choose which eye to keep a privilege he did not grant my son,” Alicent adds.

“You will do no such thing,” your mother counters as she lifts her chin.

“Stay your hand!”

“No, you are sworn to me!” Alicent yells over your grandfather.

Considering Ser Criston was just giggling, you wouldn’t put it past him to do it, but he surprises you. “As your protector, my Queen.” He says, making you smirk at the ground.

“Alicent, this matter…is finished,” your grandfather tells her. “Do you understand?”

Alicent doesn’t say anything luckily, letting your grandfather turn again and add on. “And let it be known, anyone whose tongue dares to question the birth of Princess Rhaenyra’s sons should have it removed.”

Your smirk deepens.

“Thank you, Father,” your mother says before she turns to face you and your brothers. “Come on, let's go to your chambers to put you to bed.” She says.

You nod and sigh with relief as you’re finally liberated from the tension of this hall. However, just before anyone can leave, shouting breaks in the hall again, this time it’s Ser Harrold.

“Your Grace—Stay with the King!”

“Alicent!”

You blink and look up, catching Queen Alicent storming over with a blade in her hand. “Mother!” You cry out.

Said woman quickly stands up and turns around, managing to slap her hands on Alicents shoulders.

“Hold your approach!”

You reach out for Jacaerys and pull him back with you and Lucerys, whilst your grandfather Corlys also begins to push the three of you away.

“Do not, Ser Criston!”

“Alicent!”

Your eyes fly to every corner of the room; to your terrified brothers, where your grandfather the King is, to Ser Criston as he begins to charge over at your mother and Alicent, but quickly gets stopped by Daemon. You then look at the house guards that begin to block you as they surround your mother and Alicent, and lastly, you look at your mother as she’s trying to hold Alicent back. Panicked tears fill your eyes and worry begins to make your heart pound.

“You’ve gone too far,” your mother spats at Alicent.

“What have I done but what was expected of me?” Alicent cries. “Forever upholding the kingdom, the family, the law. While you flout all to do as you please.”

“Alicent!” Your grandfather bellows. “Let her go!”

“Where is duty?” She continues to spat. “Where is sacrifice? It’s trampled under your pretty foot again.”

“Release the blade, Alicent!” The hand Lord Otto finally speaks but with no urgency.

“And now you take my son's eye,” she continues to add through tears. “And to even that you feel entitled.”

You let go of your brothers and take a step forward since neither let go of the other.

“Exhausting, wasn’t it?” Your mother rebuttals. “Hiding beneath the cloak of your own righteousness. But now they see you as you are.”

With those last words whispered suddenly you catch Alicent swing the blade down, causing your mother to stumble back towards your grandfather Corlys.

You quickly break away from your spot and approach your mother, catching now that Alicent had cut your mother's arm in her fury.

“Mother,” you whisper with shock.

Metal then clashes against the floor, and when you look over you see Alicent has dropped the blade now after she did what she did. Now she looks remorseful, but it’s too late.

“Do not mourn me, Mother,” Aemond cuts in, breaking away all the attention from the tension. “It was a fair exchange. I may have lost an eye…but I gained a dragon.”

He briefly meets your gaze, but you look away out of guilt for what happened to him, and also anger for what just happened to your mother.

“This proceeding is at an end,” your grandfather once again ends the argument, but now it's finally finished, no one speaks, silence once again fills the hall with even thicker tension, and Daemon approaches your mother, your brothers by her, and you, as if protecting all of you.

It is…weird? But your father isn't here to do it either so it’s…nice?

Your mind can’t really give it too much thought though. So you leave it sort of weird since he’s just an uncle, but nice because he’s being protective. Instead, after all that madness you can find some sense of relief, worry still chokes you up since your mother is still wounded and a faint tension does cover all of you, but you aren't in the hall anymore surrounded by so many people, or having to listen to arguing.

And maybe you shouldn’t let the tension build, your mother has had the chance to scold all of you now that you’re alone, but she hasn’t.

“You will scar,” the maester lets your mother know. “But the wound will heal.”

You drop the tension from your shoulders as you let out a relieved breath.

“Valyrian steel cuts clean.” The maester finishes saying before the doors open. When you look over you see your father finally walking in. He walks further into the room where you all reside, and his eyes fall on the maester finishing stitching your mother's wound before he glances at Lucerys with cotton in his nose, and then at Jacaerys who probably only got bruises, and lastly his eyes fall on you and the wound on your face.

“Gods,” he says and studies your scar for a moment longer. “Is everyone all right?” He asks even if he sees his answer.

Even then you nod softly even if your cut fucking stings.

“The broken nose is the worst,” the maester lets him know.

“Thank you, maester,” your mother interjects. “Leave us.”

Said man doesn’t hesitate to get up and collect his things before doing what he’s told.

“You as well,” your mother then directs at your siblings and you. “You’ve already found enough trouble today.”

You part your lips to argue, but you consider her pain and just suck it up and nod. “Yes, mother.”

You gently grab the shoulders of Jacaerys and Lucerys and nudge them out with you. When you pass by your father you offer him a sweet smile and give his arm a gentle squeeze, he returns the acknowledgment before you walk away and leave the room.

“How about we take a stroll outside, yes? We can be by the shore and get our minds off all this matter?” You suggest to your brothers for your own benefit. “We can even bring Baela and Rhaena.”

Lucerys twists around to face you and begins walking back. “I want to do that!” He exclaims and then looks at Jacaerys. “Jace do you?!”

Your brother looks unsure, but he doesn’t deny the request. “Sure,” he gives in.

You beam at them and then focus on Lucerys. “Go grab a cloak while I get changed.”

Lucerys nods quickly before he turns and runs with Jace, letting you walk to your chambers. And just as you reach the doors there outside the door is Aemond.

He seems to get surprised when you approach your quarters, and you fill with disbelief at his own presence. Yet you can’t muster a word as all you focus on is his wound. Those emotions of guilt and shame that you wanted to avoid feeling come rushing back at that moment.

You wish to apologize to him even if you didn’t commit the act, but all you can do is part your lips.

Aemond licks his lips before he parts his mouth, he steps forward, but he too falls silent and just holds your gaze.

He was probably leaving soon too, which means you won’t see him for a long time, but still, nothing comes out. Instead, you turn and walk in your quarters. When the door is closed you linger there for a moment and fight with yourself whether to go and apologize and ask how he’s doing, or not. But the guilt doesn’t let you move so you walk further in your quarters and let him walk away.

You’ll speak on the problem when the event isn’t so fresh in your mind, and when the guilt isn’t as heavy. As of now, you change out of your old gown and into a new one to try and hurry up and meet up with your brothers.

However, when you leave your quarters and enter the hall, there they are at the other, but between them and you is a handmaiden, one of Queen Alicent’s.

“Princess,” she bows her head before continuing. “Queen Alicent and the King request an audience with you at the grand hall.”

You blink in disbelief and fill with worry. “Alone?” You ask.

“Your mother and father will be there,” she informs you, bringing some ease, but not enough.

“All right,” you sigh and walk past her to reach your brothers. “Go, I'll find you two later.” You offer them a small faltering smile.

Neither Jace nor Luce argue, they remain curious as to what could be happening, but they go and do as they’re told while you head to the grande hall alone. Before you reach the doors luckily your parents catch up to you.

“What’s going on?” You ask your mother.

“I don’t know,” she shrugs quite nervously, but she tries to hide. “We’ll find out.”

The doors open and there they are, the Queen and King. The King watches you all walk in, his gaze lingers on your mother before he averts his gaze, while the Queen stands straight up and firm with a fur cloak over her body, looking elegant and regal, and stern and intimidating for the first time.

Not because she hurt your mother, but because of what she might want.

Wait…

Is she going to accept the marriage proposal?

Your hopes rise now at the thought.

“I apologize for such a spontaneous audience,” Alicent breaks the awkward silence. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”

Your mother shakes her head. “No, Your Grace. We were just finishing catching up on last night's matters.”

Alicent nods and averts her gaze for a second before she draws out a deep breath and clasps her hands in front of her before continuing. “The King and I have come to an agreement on a punishment for what happened to Prince Aemond.”

Oh….

Just like that your hopes that had begun to rise and overtake the guilt, get squashed, heightening the guilt that riddles you.

“Punishment?” Your father counters and shakes his head. “It was a regrettable accident.”

Right away Alicent’s eyes snap to your father and she rebuttals all well collected. “The matter was discussed already Ser Laenor, it won’t be brought up again. If you had been there then you could have given some insight, but you weren’t.”

You glance at your father and see him drop his gaze and sigh.

“It’s decided that the Princess will be sent to Winterfell to be the ward of Lady Margaret Karstark, the wife of Lord Bennard Stark…”

Just like that, the guilt you felt disappears, it no longer torments you, now fear and shock slams into you, making your heart feel as if it skipped a beat, and causing a gasp to escape past your lips, whilst everything around you blurs.

Your greatest fear is coming true, you’re being sent away. Far from your mother, brothers, and father. Far, far away to the edge of the world where it never stops snowing, where the sun is a rare visitor. You’re being sent away...

“Mother,” you mutter in a broken voice and said woman grabs your arm and begins to pull you back behind her to shield you as if that would stop you from being sent away.

“She will reside there for five years, perhaps Lady Karstark will make a true lady out of her and she’ll drop this…wild and reckless behavior,” she continues to add on. “She will then go to King's Landing once she’s turned 17 to marry Prince Aemond.”

And you won’t even return to your mother after five years, you’ll go to her, the evil bitch Queen. A witch with no kindness in her heart to those who aren’t her kids.

“Is this your decision father?” Your mother asks your grandfather directly. “To send my only daughter away from me? She needs me. She’ll need me.” She says with a voice she was trying to keep serious and collected, but you can hear the cracks as tears threaten to spill.

“She did not do anything,” your father cuts in on your defense. “She was only protecting her brothers and trying to stop the altercation.”

“She’s a Princess, Rhaenyra,” Alicent ignores your father. “Beautiful at that matter, and part of two noble families, she will be sent away regardless...”

You shake your head and can’t stop your tears from breaking out. Your mother and father keep trying to argue against what was decided, your mother fought the most, but nothing after that comment traveled through your ears, your mind races with far too many thoughts to take in anything else. All you know is that nothing changed their—her mind.

It’s almost as if Alicent knew your fear and was toying with it on purpose just to be evil. She definitely knew how much your mother loved you and toyed with that too, using what happened as an excuse to be even more cruel to her. She made your nightmare come true.

It’s why out of desperation and heartbreak you run out of the hall. Your parents were probably calling out for you, but you didn’t hear that either with how loud your heart was pounding, and how loud your thoughts raced.

You run out of the castle even as your vision keeps clouding with tears, you continue to run and run until your feet trip over something, causing you to fall on your knees. It’s only after that moment that you realize you’re now out at the beach, on the rough grains of sand, far from the castle.

Maybe if you continue on you’ll be far away so you won’t have to leave. You can try and leave…

You lift your head to look at the miles of sand ahead and come to see Astraea descending from the sky. She lands before you and growls softly before she wraps her neck and body around you, keeping you safe from the clutches of the Evil Queen Alicent, and safe from going to Winterfell. She comforts you and keeps you from running away at that moment.

But maybe you should climb on her and fly away even still, she won’t argue or turn around if you don’t want her to.

Yet, of course just before you can think of climbing on the saddle, she begins to uncurl herself as you hear someone approach. You don’t check who it might be right away, you’re too upset to do it and wish to be alone.

You hoped that message would come across while you remained lying on Astraea. But it doesn’t.

Your name is called out by Aemond.

You almost don’t want to give him your attention, but you can’t help it, you wipe your tears away and slowly look over at him cautiously standing at a distance.

“Aemond,” you mewl.

Said boy swallows thickly and nods stiffly. “I’ve heard,” he mutters. “My mother told me.”

You draw in a shaky breath before letting out a shaky sob. “I-I’m being sent away. Far to the edge of nowhere.” You drag your legs up against your chest and hide your face on your knees as you hug your legs to find comfort. “I won't see my mother, or-or my father. My brothers…” you trail off and snap your head up to look at Aemond, noticing that he’s closer now.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble as the thought of what happened crosses your mind as well. “I am.”

Aemond shakes his head. “It was not you. You need not worry. Why don’t we,” he pauses to take a seat beside you against Astraea and then continues sweetly. “Talk about you.”

You scoff. “What is there to say? The…Queen,” you correct yourself before you can offend his mother in front of him. “…Decided. Unless you want to run away with me then there’s nothing to be done.”

Aemond keeps his eye trained on the sand below and remains quiet for a moment until he finds words he thinks will comfort you. “Why would we run away? We are meant to marry when you return to King’s Landing. I will be far older, more mature, worthy of you.”

You sniffle and slowly drag your eyes to the side to meet his single eye.

“If I leave, if we leave,” he continues. “I don’t know if I will ever be a worthy husband. We will be reckless, miserable.”

“I don’t think so,” you say and look at the clouds forming in the sky. “We will be free from any responsibility…Perhaps I will just run away alone,” you snap and turn your head away.

“I…don’t want you to run away,” he whispers.

You’re upset he’s turning you down, but you can’t help but look back at him in disbelief.

“Stay,” he adds. “Here in Westeros. Please.”

Please? And so softly spoken too?

Well…you don’t want to break your mother's heart either.

“Okay,” you whisper to Aemond without more of a fight. “Fine.”

Aemond releases a small sigh of relief and then lets a silence bask the both of you that lets only the sound of the crashing waves fill your ears. Neither of you move, he doesn't try to run off, and no one comes over yet to bring you back to the castle. You were left alone, in peace, and comfort, letting Aemond slowly reach for your hand to wrap his around yours and secure it in his hold.

You get surprised by the gentle touch, even if he's always been kind—he's just never been the first one to take your hand, it was always you. So it's a nice and heartwarming change that he reaches out first. It makes you smile.

“I will wait for you,” he breaks the silence. “I swear I will.”

As sad as you are about being sent away, that does heal your heartache.

If only your heart can fully heal by not being sent away, but, nothing will change this new fate that branched out in your path of life.

Nothing stops it.

——

*SOMETIME LATER*

“Here…I wanted to give it to you for your 13th name day, but now seems like the perfect time,” your grandmother says and opens a small golden box, revealing a beautiful dark gray glimmering chain necklace.

It was like your mother's necklace she wore often, the one made of Valyrian steel.

“Is it Valyrian steal?” You muse as you brush your fingers over the pendant that the chain necklace carries.

Your grandmother nods with a prideful smile on her face. “Yes. It is,” she assures you and picks it off the box, letting you study the three-headed dragon from your Targaryen family sigil that’s embedded on the pendant. She then turns it and you see the mythic seahorse from your Velaryon family sigil, and it only wows you even more.

“It’s beautiful, I love it!” You squeal and turn to let her clip the necklace around you. Once she’s done you turn and wrap her in an embrace. “Thank you, grandmother.”

She returns your embrace and squeezes you tighter. “I’ll write, all right? We will keep in touch.” She reassures you.

You pull back and nod with a wobbly smile.

Now it’s your brother's turn, and so far you’ve kept from crying, you’ve remained strong, but Lucerys is crying, making tears well in your eyes as well.

“Don’t cry, Luce,” you tell him and crouch down to wipe his tears away. “We will see each other again. I will write all the time. It will be as if I never left.”

“But it won’t because I won’t see you. Don’t leave me,” he cries and throws his arms around you before crying harder. “Please Mother, don't let her leave!”

Tears run down your cheeks and you squeeze him gently. “We’ll see each other again, don’t worry…I love you.” You try your best to comfort him.

He then pulls back and sniffles. “I love you too.”

Next is Jacaerys who is tougher than Lucerys, or so he's pretending to be. You can see the tears gleaming in his eyes.

“Promise to write?” You tell him. “All the time? So I won't miss you a thing?”

He nods. “I will.”

You offer him a soft wobbly smile before you pull him in an embrace. “I love you too, Jace. I’ll miss you, brother.”

Jacaerys lets out a shaky sigh and lingers in the embrace. “I’ll miss you as well.” He then pulls back and drops his head to hide the tears that manage to escape from his eyes.

Next is your father. Now those few tears threaten to turn into a sob.

“Every time I look at the sky I’ll think of you,” your father says as he cups your cheek, making you grin

“And I of you,” you redirect and hold his gaze for a lingering moment before you throw your arms around him and keep him close to you in hopes you wouldn’t be able to leave like this.

Albeit even if he doesn’t want you to pull away and leave either, he loosens his grip and lets you slip away to lastly move on to your mother. Now those tears no longer stay, you can’t be strong saying goodbye to her. You immediately hug her and sob into her shoulder.

“I will write to you every week,” your mother assures you. “Maybe even sooner than that. All right, my sweet girl?”

You nod and comfort her too. “I will write back each time.”

“If anything happens you tell me, come to me if you must,” she presses so you can always keep it in mind. “I love you, my darling girl. So much.”

She presses kisses on the side of your head and lingers before she forces herself to pull back. However, instead of letting you go, she presses a kiss on your forehead first. “We will see each other again.” She says tenderly.

You nod in comprehension and catch the tears that roll down the curve of her cheeks. “I love you, Mother,” you return just as affectionately. “I’ll miss you.”

Your mother offers you a sweet smile and caresses your cheek one more time before finally letting you go before she just didn’t.

But even then you make it your job to drag your feet and take as much time as you possibly can to board that ship. And once the ship does depart from the dock you stand at the end of it and watch as your mother's figure turns smaller and smaller, the others seem to have left, but she remained there until neither of you were visible.

After that the only companion you had left was Astraea, she followed the ship, casting a dark shadow over the deck for the month that it took to arrive at the harbor called the White Harbour. Once you made your way to Winterfell the shadow remained cast over you until you arrived

What was once bright blue skies, green hills, and warm air turned to gray dull skies, white hills as nothing but cold snow was seen for miles on end, and a bitter air nipped at your flesh. It was truly a bland place deprived of color, secluded with nothing around it. No oceans, no towns, or people.

The first person you laid your eyes on once arriving at Winterfell after miles of no one was a young man it seems. He stood on the wall that surrounded that gray castle. He wore a big fur cloak that stood out against all the others. Even if you weren’t close you do notice that his piercing eyes are dark, and intimidating as well, but it intrigues you; his face is pale too, and he isn't terrible to look at.

You always imagined northern men to be scary, to be huge men, but he wasn’t that. He's alluring and takes your breath away.

You are hidden in your carriage, but it seems he saw you too and that makes your heart skip a beat like nothing has before.

A/N- We’ll have two full chapters of Cregan content!

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne

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finnydraws · 4 days

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don't eat that (r.a/reader)

Pairing; Rhett Abbott/Reader

Word count:905

Description: While hiking with Rhett you get to show off your knowledge about the native plants your boyfriend tries to eat

genre(s) slice of life, fluff

warnings: while not explicitly stated, I did write this reader as autistic. While not ALL autistic people are like I've written her, I’ve loosely based her off my own flavor of autism so…. Mention of poisonous plants and their side effects.

Hiking with Rhett was always a trip. Half of the time he packed enough snacks to feed a small village, and the other half you would only get about a quarter way through the hike before he began to complain about being hungry. If it were anyone else asking to go on such a trip Rhett would say no with very little hesitation, but with you looking at him with those eyes he can't help but hide that he's more of a horse rides and working kind of outdoorsy than the willingly walking 5 miles to relook at the cool plants growing around the Abbott ranch kind. Today was an “I'm hungry” day.

Normally at this point you and Rhett would turn around, make lunch and try again another day, but today had been particularly hard for you and he would hate to see your disappointed look at the thought of turning around. So he came up with a different solution. “Hey baby, you wanna go look for some berries with me?” Wyoming forests were good for berries, many growing rampant and wild and just perfect for the taking. The thought of the tangy taste of the native red currants growing all through the forest already making Rhett's mouth water.

And so began the hunt for Rhett's favorite fruit, which mostly consisted of Rhett bringing you fruits that looked VERY different from the hard red berry he should probably recognize. At this point it was comical just how far off he was at identifying a fruit that his mom had cooked with for the majority of his life. For about forty minutes this back and forth of Rhett asking “are these them?” and you responding with a soft “no baby, it's not” only for him to lose a little hope of ever finding something to eat (which he would have 20 minutes ago if he had just listened to you when he held up some very much edible red chokeberries. But when he heard you say they weren't HIS fruit he stopped listening) went on. Until just when Rhett had fully given up hope, and was about to ask you to head back and get a snack, he spotted them. Hiding in the trees, small, round, some orange, and others red, currants.

He grabs the fruit without thinking. Picking as many ripe red berries as he can carry without crushing them in his calloused hands, and excitedly bringing his haul to you. “Baby look! I found ‘em!” He's so excited he barely even waits to confirm the fruit with you before holding one up to his mouth to take a bite.

“DON’T EAT THAT!” You yell before he can. “Don't forget, bittersweet grows out here too, and they look very similar. But bittersweet berries will kill you so quick, and also painfully” you continue. Rhett drops his horde of berries like they were burning him (which now that you pointed them out he did notice the subtle itching, burning feeling in his hands) “bring me to the plant you got this from please.” and so he did, leading you to a large oak tree, with a thick wood vine creeping its way up the tree. Attached are yellowish green,smooth leaves, and orange capsules split into three sections, opening up into the red berry. “These are bittersweet berries baby… they’re part of the nightshade, or Solanaceae, family. If you eat them it can cause headaches, dizziness, abdominal pain, internal bleeding, slowed blood circulation, paralysis and even death” you try to continue your speech about the deadly plant but the sad look on Rhett's face stops you in your tracks.

He looks so defeated, and hungry. “Can we go back baby, ‘m hungry and i don’ wanna get us killed jus’ cause i wan’ food.” you know you can’t argue with his logic, there are more poisonous plants out here than edible ones, and he’s been so sweet continuing the hike despite him wanting to go home that you give in almost immediately. You follow him home, trailing just behind him and still eying the plants you pass, just in case. And then YOU spot them. A low to the ground shrub, with green palmate leaves, with three bluntly toothed lobes.

And red fruits.

“Baby” you call. Yet nothing in response. You try again, a little louder. “Baby. come here.” he does turn around at that, approaching you and eying the small shrub you’re wildly gesturing to. “RED CURRANTS!” Rhett lights up.

“Really? They ain’ those nightshade plants?” he questions, looking at you hopefully.

“Nope!” you say, popping the p. You stick one of the juicy red berries into your mouth for good effect, before making your shirt into a makeshift basket and picking as many ripe ones as you can. “Let's bring them back and make some jam” but Rhett is more preoccupied with stuffing his face with the berries than gathering any for later. He looks cute like this, hunched over the shrub he looks like when a child is given candy on halloween, worried someone will take the sweet treat from him before he can thoroughly enjoy it. You give him a moment to pick the shrub clean, happy to see him feeling better. “Come on now love, let's get you some real food.” Rhett stands up, brushes the dirt from his pants and gives you a small smile.

“Let's go home baby.”

#outer range #rhett abbott #rhett abbot x reader #lewis pullman #fanfic #self insert

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lavendertales · 1 year

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Guilty pleasures: Chapter 3

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: cautious with your questions to and about Ellie, Joel snaps at you in private, the conversation culminating with a very surprising twist. But even that can't prevent you from drawing your own conclusions about Ellie.

word count: 4.7k

A/N: TENSION. that's all. this is a birthday gift for @katronautt. Happy birthday, my love, I hope your day is as cool as you ❤️and happy Valentine's Day to you all, my sweet lovebugs!

AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS & MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!!!

gif: @magnusedom

series masterlist | AO3

JULY

The air had grown thinner in the past month. Everyone could feel the warmth of the season wearing them down to the point where all they sought to do is kick back and enjoy a cold drink.

Despite the low number of raids and sightings of infected, the patrol group remained alert. You didn’t mind, really; starting the night shift when the sun was going down, after having spent most of the day in the sun, it offered you a sensation you hadn’t felt since your childhood back in California. If anything, it made you nostalgic. Even with everything that was going on.

Since news broke out that Tommy singlehandedly took care of a group of raiders in June, the people in Jackson have become more vigilant of their whereabouts and surroundings, but there was also a bizarre concoction of fear and admiration targeted at the man who built an entire town from scratch. Tommy was just as loved as before—people just knew now to never get on his bad side.

The other Miller brother though, that one was the thorn in your back.

Things have gotten more… quiet between the two of you. Which was preferable to the rest of the patrol who were growing tired having to listen to you bicker all the time. But, since that June night when the two of you nearly committed what could’ve only be described as a fatal mistake, Joel simply distanced himself from you. And you followed his lead; you did the exact same thing. It was much better this way. You both relished into the stillness of the environment, neither one of you being on the talkative side, and you only spoke when absolutely necessary.

The interesting thing about that? It grew to be bothersome. It was actually kind of upsetting that all you and Joel did was gaze at each other from afar, eyes darkened by unspoken things that you would’ve rather buried than to ever allow to come to the surface.

And that made you even grumpier and angrier. You failed to understand this kind of reaction to someone who repeatedly called you stubborn and relentless, and it was causing you to lose sleep too, to dwell into the littlest things and put them for observation under a microscope.

You knew why this was happening, of course. It was a no-brainer. But it’s not like it was your fault. Not even his, really. It was a silly little moment of distraction, nothing else. So what if you were caught in the rain and his calloused hands were over your waist, keeping you close, and you were unable to look away from his lips?

It was nothing but a momentary privation of judgment, a mere result of years of solitude and finally coming in contact with human warmth.

But, rather than stewing in your confusion, you chose to mind your business and go about your days as usual. Aside the occasional run-in with the infected, your life in Jackson has been pretty boring throughout the past seven months, as opposed to the unstable and chaotic life you’ve led in the past seven years. You can’t really complain though; it’s been a nice change of pace. It makes you think of your family, how they would’ve fit right in here.

Today, however, upon Annie’s request, you agreed to train some of the kids in town how to handle weapons. It wasn’t the easiest task if you really thought about it. You found it to be a grim scenario, teaching children how to use guns. But the world you’re living in is cruel and unforgiving, and there are worse punishments than death. In retrospect, learning how to defend yourself from a frail age might be a preferable choice than the alternatives.

A bullet flies right by your head, and you duck instantly. You search the fairly small crowd of children to find the culprit, and your eyes land on a brown haired, doe-eyed teenager. You make a face when you remark the guilt on her face.

“Sorry,” she apologizes.

You inch towards her. “Ellie, right?”

“The one and only. I think.”

“So you’re the infamous Ellie.”

She looks you up and down, eyes landing on the holster strapped to your right thigh, then moving back up to your figure.

“Saw you around with Joel,” you explain, unwilling to be misunderstood. You knew that sometimes people found your dry-spoken words to be intimidating, and you didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. Trust was very important, and a must-have in any situation. “He seems fond of you. Which makes me think he’s part human.”

Ellie smiles, and so do you. “Jury’s still out on that one.”

“Ah.”

Her eyes drop to your holster again. “Can you teach me how to use that?”

You follow her eyes to the same spot, noticing she’s referring to the special knife you keep in the holster. You then raise your brows at her.

“What for?” you ask rather amused.

Ellie shrugs. “What if I need it?”

“You mean my one-of-a-kind knife that only I possess? Highly doubt it.”

“You said it yourself, it’s not a regular knife. I mean—look at that thing! It’s got that curve thing right there… it’s a nice blade!”

You suppress a chuckle, staring in admiration at her. She’s got spunk, alright. She’s excited and funny and warm, in spite of everything that the world may have thrown at her. You suppose that’s the magic of being a kid. You can still find the light in the darkest of places.

“Not many kids are interested in weapons, you know?” you tell her as you pull her aside. “Take a look around. They don’t wanna do this. But it’s a necessary evil. You, on the other hand… you’re a pretty special kid.”

“So I’ve been told.”

There’s playfulness and sarcasm in her voice, and it makes you like her more. You can definitely see why Joel took a shining to her as well.

Now, you don’t know the full story. You only know the bits and pieces Tommy deemed acceptable to confess to you. All you heard is that Ellie was wanted by the Fireflies and that Joel was supposed to deliver her to them, but changed his mind and saved her from them, killing an entire group of people who stood in his way. There were some pieces of that puzzle you could put together without anyone telling you anything explicitly, but you kept to yourself. You sure as hell wasn’t gonna ask Joel about what happened.

“So? What do we think?” Ellie asks. “Do we have a deal?”

You frown, half amused and half impressed with her boldness.

“It’s not up to me, you know.”

“Sure it is. It’s your knife, isn’t it?”

You huff, staring at her and hoping that she’ll get the message without you actually saying it. Luckily, she does; within the next second, she makes a face to reveal her disappointment.

“Do not say it’s up to Joel,” she nearly whines. “He’s just gonna say no.”

“Okay. Then I can say no.”

“Oh, come on! We’re at a how to use a gun camp filled with kids and you’re gonna deny a kid a little weapon?”

“You still gotta work on your aim with the regular gun. You nearly shot me in the head.”

“Holding a grudge, I see.”

You smile. Unbeknownst to you, Joel is somewhere in the background, your silhouette in close proximity to Ellie’s having caught his attention. He watches carefully, a dozen scenarios invading his mind at that very moment.

“It’s not a grudge,” you reassure her. “I just think that if you can’t handle something as simple as a gun, you won’t be able to handle this knife.”

“A knife is easier than a gun.”

“You think so?”

Ellie nods, and you pull out the knife, twisting it between your fingers. Her eyes go wide with admiration, thirsting for knowledge. Then, as you hand the blade to her, she looks at you utterly stunned.

“Go ahead,” you tell her. “Stab me.”

“Uh… what?”

“You said it’s easier than a gun. Show your work. Try and stab me.”

“I’m not gonna—“

“Try to.”

Indecisive, Ellie holds the knife, weighing it. Then, she moves towards you, swinging the blade as you instructed. You duck, and as she pulls away, she notices a little string of blood coming from her hand.

“Shit,” Ellie says under her breath, noticing her bleeding palm.

You take the knife back from her and sliding it into the holster.

“It’s not a regular knife,” you say. “You were right. Which means that if you don’t know how to hold it properly, you’ll most likely kill yourself before you kill someone else.”

Joel moves closer in the background, reckoning something was wrong. He sees Ellie slouched, staring into her palm, and his pulse starts to race.

“If you’d teach me—“

“You already tried to shoot me today, so I’m gonna stick with no. And as much as you might hate hearing it—or as much as I hate saying it—Joel is technically your guardian. If he says it’s okay, I’ll teach you.”

“So that’s not gonna happen.”

You shrug. “Looks like we’re both stuck on Joel.”

“We?”

Taken aback by your own words, you clear your throat as your eyes drop to her hand, still bleeding in the slightest. You take it in your hands, examining it, but she shyly pulls away, dragging the sleeve of her shirt over it.

“It’s just a cut, it’s not that bad,” you try to reassure her.

But Ellie looks even more hesitant as she gulps, staring into the ground.

“Why are you wearing long sleeve shirts in the middle of summer?” you ask. “Aren’t you warm?”

“I’m good.”

Her tone, like her face, drops, and it only raises more questions for you. Questions you don’t pose. Instead, you put a hand on her back to guide her through the crowd and head to the little stand you and Annie set up for this exact purpose, filled with medicine and bandages. You wrap her palm nice and tight and in the process, her eyes catch the tattoo on your right wrist. She opens her mouth to say something, to ask you questions, but when she glances over your shoulder and sees Joel fast approaching, she goes silent.

“Are you okay?” Joel asks Ellie, and she nods. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Ellie says. “A little scratch.”

His dark glare goes to you, and you can tell he’s angry.

“Why don’t you go back to the group?” you suggest to Ellie.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

The tension between you and Joel must’ve been more obvious than you thought.

“What happened?” Joel asks you instead.

“She wanted to try out my knife, I said no. She insisted she can handle it, and I proved to her she can’t.”

“By cuttin’ her?”

“I didn’t cut her. She scratched herself with the tip. I told her this kind of blade can be dangerous if not held properly.”

“Wrong time to do a show and tell.”

You huff, visibly displeased. “What’s up with Ellie, though? Why is she still wearing long sleeve shirts?”

The question stuns Joel. It’s written all over his face; you swear you detect some fear in his eyes too, but dwelling into that wouldn’t bring you anything good. Maybe just another headache and sleepless night.

“I’m not her father,” Joel retorts coldly. “She can wear whatever she wants.”

“I’m just saying. It’s the middle of summer, it’s hot as all hell. You’d think—“

“I don’t know, okay? What’s with the interrogation?”

You frown at him, raising your hands in surrender. “Pardon me for taking an interest.”

“Others have taken an interest in her before. Didn’t turn out so well.”

“The Fireflies?”

Joel’s face hardens with anger as he moves closer to you. You can even hear his teeth clenched in fury. You haven’t seen him this mad thus far.

“What the hell do you know about that?” he growls.

“I know that the Fireflies are just an excuse for doing fucked up shit of their own,” you reply, hands crossed at your chest. “They’re not so different from FEDRA if you think about it. So I’m guessing that whatever happened that made Ellie wanted by the Fireflies, it had to be a huge deal.”

Joel keeps quiet, munching on his bottom lip as he stares you down. You’re a stranger, basically, and the history between him and Ellie is known only by the two of them, Tommy and Maria. And there’s no way that Tommy would reveal everything to a stranger, even if he valued your skills and even thought of you as Maria’s right hand.

“I don’t want to know what happened,” you tell him. “And I don’t care about it. I was just expressing interest in Ellie. She’s a great kid.”

“She is,” Joel admits rather grudgingly.

“You got nothing to worry about. You and I, we’re just on patrol together. If you wanna ignore me because you got scared or whatever, that’s fine by me, I don’t care.”

Joel’s stares you down with a vicious twinkle in his eyes, as if he’s suggesting you to stop talking before you regret it. But you don’t care; you said the truth and if the truth is bothering him, there’s some food for thought.

“I’m not scared, and least of all of you,” he emphasizes viciously.

You inhale, rolling your eyes. The gesture brings out to the surface even more anger, anger that Joel can barely contain.

“Whatever you say.”

You turn your back to him, to which Joel responds with his fingers curling around your wrist and holding you in place. The touch is unexpected, electric, and the grip itself is far from harsh. On the contrary: it holds a gentleness to it that you wouldn’t have thought such a rugged man is capable of.

“If you’re talkin’ about that night on patrol last month—“he starts, but you instantly cut him off.

“I’m not talking about that. I was just pointing out the facts. You’re the one who brought it up.”

“How the hell are you so—? Jesus fuckin’ Christ.”

He lets go of you, rubbing his temples as he impending sensation of a headache takes over. He looks at you, shaking his head in dismay. When he sees a smirk forming in the corner of your mouth, he furiously licks his lips.

“How the hell am I so—what?” you ask, downright curious.

“Quit askin’ about Ellie,” he warns instead.

After Joel storms off, you smile in Ellie’s direction. You notice she doesn’t even roll up her sleeves, and your suspicion lives on. You don’t go around asking anything, though. It’s dangerous to talk about such things out loud, especially when this is merely a hunch at the moment. A very strong hunch based on plenty you’ve seen, but a hunch nonetheless.

You respect Joel’s words though, which again, it baffles you. Normally you wouldn’t care, but minding your business is top priority right now.

Which is why you’re surprised when you find Ellie on your doorstep later that evening. She has the same spark in her eyes as she did when she asked about your knife, which points to curiosity.

“Ellie,” you greet her, doing nothing to conceal your astonishment. “What are you doing here?”

“Well… I was gonna ask you something, if you don’t mind.”

“If it’s female-related, I understand why you wouldn’t ask Joel.”

Ellie chuckles, rubbing the back of her neck. “I don’t know why everyone thinks I tell Joel everything, or that we got some sort of father-daughter relationship.”

You scoff, hiding the laughter that’s about to come out of your mouth.

“You’re kidding,” you tell her. “That man was ready to shoot me today when he thought I hurt you. I’ve never seen a man so protective over anyone. He cares about you. A lot, based on his reaction.”

“I care about him too, he’s a pretty cool and badass guy, but he’s not my dad.”

“Sure he isn’t. Come on in.”

As Ellie enters your little house, she takes a quick look around, fidgeting with her fingers. You find the habit quite adorable, seeing as how Joel struggled with that too sometimes when he thought no one saw him.

Fuck. Did you just use adorable and Joel in the same sentence?

Fuck no.

“So, what are you doing here? What can I do for you?” you ask.

“I saw your wrist tattoo today. It’s pretty cool.”

You sneak a glance at your left wrist, then you look back at Ellie.

“Thanks,” you say. “You came all the way here to compliment my tattoo?”

“I came here to ask… if you’ve got any other tattoos.”

“Why?”

“I’m… thinking of getting one.”

Let me guess: on your right wrist.

“Where?” you ask instead.

“Not sure yet.”

You notice the hesitation on her part, but you have enough common decency to pretend like you don’t.

“Okay, well,” you start, taking a seat on the couch with Ellie following suit, “I got five tattoos in total. The one on my left wrist, then one on my right thigh, one on my left ankle, one behind my left ear, and one on my lower back.”

“Can I see them?”

You raise your brows at her, and Ellie’s face gets flushed.

“I didn’t mean that to be in a creepy way,” she quips, rather embarrassed. “I know some are private. I meant… for visualization.”

You smile reassuringly at her, and she seems to relax a little.

“Yeah, we’re not that close,” you joke, and that manages to steal a giggle from her side.

“Which one is the biggest?”

“My lower back tattoo.”

“What’s it of?”

“A snake with a half moon.”

“Whoa. Cool!”

The look on her face is quite adorable. You can tell that no matter what life threw at her, Ellie still carried some of that childlike innocence.

“What about the others, what are they of?” Ellie asks.

“I got a flower with leaves on my ankle, butterfly on my thigh, M for my sister Maya behind the ear and the rose on my wrist, which… you’ve already seen.”

You search her face for any reaction, anything that might tell you what she really noticed about your tattoo, but nothing appears. After all, she only caught a glimpse, a fleeting look. She didn’t have time to study the real reason behind the tattoo.

“You said the M is for your sister?” she inquires, and you already got a knot in your throat when you murmur a faint “mhm”. “Where is she?”

“Uh… filed under ‘people I’ve lost’.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

You clear your throat. “What about you, what tattoo do you want after all?”

“I don’t know. Something big enough to cover… scars.”

“Where?”

She falters yet again. “Right arm. I can’t—I can’t show you.”

“That’s okay. I wasn’t gonna ask you to. But I do hope this is helpful.”

“It is, thanks.”

“Why me though?”

She shrugs. “I think you’re pretty badass and I like you.”

To that, you smile. “You’re pretty badass yourself.”

“Does that mean I get another go at the knife?”

You shake your head and reply No before she can even fully finish the sentence.

“What happened to your sister?” Ellie asks.

The air feels constricting as you stare at her, trying to verbalize the answer. Turns out, seven years in the making and the wound still remains fresh.

“That’s a… that’s a story for another time,” you say with a bitter smile.

Ellie knows better than to push when the conversation is clearly sensitive. After all, there are things about Riley that she can’t quite fully disclose, even though, paradoxically, she loved to talk about her.

She rises from the couch, headed for the door when she turns to you and sports a charming smile.

“Thanks,” she tells you, and you nod. “I don’t know why Joel keeps insisting you’re annoying.”

You do nothing to conceal your surprise at the reveal. “Aw, he talks about me? How nice.”

“He complains a little too much to make his case believable.”

“Yeah, well. Tell him I think he’s just as stubborn and thick-headed.”

“Tell him yourself.”

Your eyes shift to the window, noticing his silhouette on the porch. He’s got his hands on his hips, and his face is darkened by anger. You shake your head and huff whilst guiding Ellie to the door.

“Speak of the big, bad wolf,” you greet him.

“Ellie, get outta here,” Joel tells her.

“I was going anyway. Sheesh, such a drama queen, relax.”

Joel waits until Ellie is out of earshot. You both watch her get farther and farther away till eventually, it’s just you and him on the porch, underneath the stars-filled sky.

“May I help you?” you ask.

Joel is like a ticking bomb. And with those words, you just pushed the button.

“What the hell do you want from Ellie?”

“She’s the one who came to me.”

“For what? What do you want with her?”

You’re taken aback by how spurred on Joel is, how protective he’s become of that sixteen year old girl and the lengths he’ll go to in order to keep her safe. It doesn’t intimidate you though; if anything, it makes your hunch turn into something more.

“She came over to ask me about my tattoos,” you carefully enunciate each word. “That’s all we talked about. She was here for ten minutes. I didn’t snap her neck.”

Joel makes a dissatisfied sound. “I told you today to stop askin’ about her.”

“And I didn’t. Get it through your thick head: I have no interest in hurting her. I have no intention of hurting anyone here.”

Jaw clenched and lips pursed, Joel looks at you, some of his anger vanishing.

“She’s just a kid,” he says, guttural. “She’s been through enough.”

“I am well aware of that.”

“She doesn’t need other problems.”

You cross your arms at your chest. “You think I’m a problem?”

“I don’t know. Are you?”

You inhale slowly, painfully aware of how close you are to one another. The thick, dry summer air is boiling in between you, rendering this moment even more asphyxiating.

“What are you so terrified of?” you ask him.

You can tell the question stumps Joel. He frowns, his lips quiver, and he looks at you with genuine confusion.

“What?” he retorts harshly.

“What makes you freeze dead in your tracks when there’s someone else around you?”

Joel’s frown deepens as he tries to determine whether you’re being serious or not.

“In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been in this fuckin’ outbreak for twenty something years.”

“The infected don’t scare you, not anymore,” you continue seemingly mindlessly. “I know, cause that’s me. I see ‘em, I’m ready to shoot them down. Most of the time, anyway.”

You open your mouth as realization sinks in, watching a distressed Joel Miller drink in the sight of you.

“It’s human contact that terrifies you,” you conclude. “You can’t stand having people around you. You’re surprised when they stay.”

“I’m surprised when they don’t wanna kill me.”

“Lemme guess. Sad and tragic past, now you refuse to let anyone in because you’re afraid of the hurt and you can’t do it again. You tell yourself you can’t keep losing people you care about.”

“Just—stop.”

His voice is husky and harsh, filled with painful undertones that make you wonder of the tragedies in his past. You wonder what pieces of him are so far gone that he refuses to let anyone in.

That, in return, is scary to you.

“What’s the fuckin’ point, anyway?” Joel asks as if he’s having an internal monologue. “Some are lucky enough to live another day, others could die tonight. Living is a luxury. And getting’ attached… it’s got no upside to it. We’re gonna lose in the end no matter what.”

“I understand that,” you reply, much to his surprise. “Clickers, infected… those are easy. They have but one purpose: to kill. Humans, on the other hand… they’re tricky. You may never know what’s inside their heads. That’s the terrifying part.”

“You got your degree in psychology or somethin’?”

You stifle a chuckle, resorting to a mere smile. “Or something. What I can’t quite put together though is why you’re afraid of me.”

Joel cocks an eyebrow in your direction, growing more alert and aware of the fact that he is so close to you he could count your eyelashes. He swallows harshly, nearly breathless.

“Afraid of you?” he fights back. “I could pin you to the ground in one second. You ain’t a threat.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. You avoid me, you refuse to talk to me directly, but I hear you do talk about me with Ellie, quite a lot… so what gives?”

Joel does not avert his eyes from yours. On the contrary, he stares you down, fighting a losing battle with his own mind. There’s something about your words, so tantalizing and filled with shameless subtexts that cause his head to spin and his breath to come out ragged.

“Pin me down then,” you instigate him. “Pin me against the wall for all I care. You’re not doing it, and you are not going to. Because you’re afraid that you don’t actually find me annoying at all.”

The twitching in Joel’s fingers worsens, his heart racing and his throat completely dry, as opposed to his mouth which is damn near watering.

“Keep talkin’, see what happens,” he mutters.

“I think nothing’s gonna happen. Wanna know why? You talk a big game, but you’re just—“

The warm, intoxicating sensation over your mouth doesn’t register at first; it takes several seconds before you realize that this is, in fact, Joel Miller who’s kissing you.

His lips are tender against yours, but his hands provide a harsh contrast with that as they grab your hips and hold onto them for dear life. His moustache is tickling against your upper lip, his tongue glides against yours and you sigh; you actually sigh right into his mouth, the sound reverberating throughout Joel’s entire body and making him feral. You cup his face, desperately holding onto him, onto anything that might provide some stability because this… this is something wild and needy, and it utterly consumes you.

Joel is practically holding you into his arms as he’s kissing you like a starved man. There’s an omnipresent throbbing in your body, but especially in your belly, and you squirm against him, starting to crave more.

But then, Joel pulls away from you as abruptly as he began this whole shenanigan. Breathless, he stares at you with a hunger you wouldn’t believe if he weren’t right there in front of you.

Lips swollen and reddened, you fight to regulate your breaths. “Did you just—?”

“No.” His answer is rough, quick to deny everything.

“But I—“

“It’s nothing,” he says, licking his lips. “Don’t make a big deal out of this.”

You remain speechless. Truthfully, you’re not sure what could you possibly say right now. You messed around and teased him and now here you are, lips swollen from a kiss that Joel Miller gave you. A wet, needy kiss that opened a floodgate of desires for you.

He mumbles something to you before he leaves. What, you don’t fully comprehend. You’re all alone on the porch on that hot July evening, trying to process the fact that you shared the hungriest, most passionate kiss of your life with someone who did everything to keep you at bay.

Maybe this is why.

And maybe his overprotectiveness over Ellie isn’t that far-fetched either.

After all, protecting a girl who’s immune to a fate worse than death is a big deal.

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#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller fluff #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fluff #guilty pleasures series

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b0g-b0y · 1 year

Text

Ghost x m reader x Soap Part 1 2 3

Request @denzellovehazelnuts

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The sound of paper flipping filled the room well Price watched Ghost read over a file of a man that Price thought would be a nice asset to 141, the file being on a guy named y/n. Price wanted a second opinion on recruiting him, he didn’t have as much experience in the field that being the only reason for Price hesitating he didn’t want to feel responsible for sending a man to death. A sigh left Ghost's lips before he spoke. “I think it’s a bad idea having some bloke that hasn’t been in the field that long. His skills seem useful, good for in and out missions that need to be fast and quiet. Says he’s crazy good with a pistol including shooting long range with one, don’t think I’ve seen that before. It would be a gamble, Captain.” Ghost finished.” We can have a trial run then, during a mission you can tell me how he does he’ll be with you.” Price finished speaking and he didn't miss the glare that Ghost gave him which he ignored.

Later that night after the rest of 141 got the news of a new member joining. Ghost and Soap layed down on the small bed, Ghost was playing with Soaps hair well the Scott rested on top of him.”Simon, look at me, what are you thinking about?” Soap asked softly, finding Simon's other hand intertwining their fingers together.”Simon answer me, I can’t read your mind”. Soap looked up at Ghost waiting for him to respond.”I’m not looking forward to the new bloke” Simon mumbled. Soap gave a small hum, waiting to hear more.”I’m babysitting him on a mission” Ghost grumbled.” Just you and yourself huh Simon”. Soap spoke. “Never Johnny, not when you’re with me”. Simon kissed Soap's hand, in hopes of just sitting In quiet now.” I’m sure you won’t be babysitting Simon, just don’t leave the poor guy behind and have him hike through a town full of enemies with you telling bad jokes”. Soap said jokingly. Simon couldn’t help but roll his eyes.” Shut up, let’s just sleep please Johnny”. Simon asked. Soap hummed in agreement and snuggled closer to the Brit soon drifting off into sleep.

The day y/n arrived on base to join 141 they had him run the basics including a room clearing exercise, getting to choose what guns he preferred. It wasn’t surprising when y/n chose a pistol as his second weapon the first being a vel 46 a SMG that offers high mobility and a fast firing rate, with those guns it wasn’t a big surprise y/n was in and out with the optical course. 141 watched y/n intently when completing these tasks, y/n wouldn’t lie,141 watching him made him feel anxious. But as far as he could tell he did good and got the all clear and he’d be off on a mission with them soon in a week or two. That didn’t stop Ghost from watching y/n whenever he went on a run or when y/n went to the shooting range. It started to freak him out a bit, whenever in Ghost's company neither one would speak and with Ghost's wicked side eye it wasn’t a comfortable time but it’s not like you would say anything about it. As far as the team could tell you weren’t a big talker. At least dinner was more comfortable, it was filled with chatter and complaining.” I'm tired”. Soap said, leaning on Ghost. The biggest smile spread across y/n's face.”Hi tired, I'm dad”. Y/n said. Causing Soap to burst out laughing hitting his knee on the table in the process. Ghost let out a sigh, he’s lost his Johnny to a dad joke. Gaz just smiled, he was just happy to hear more from you. And Price gave you a pat on the shoulder.

Ever since that dinner Soap spent more time with y/n always hoping to catch more of those cheesy jokes. Ghost was a little possessive over Johnny so he often joined the two of you, sometimes telling a dark joke of his own, surprising him when you responded with laughter. Ghost wasn’t used to someone laughing at his jokes besides Soap on the rare occasions.

The night before the mission Ghost and Soap laid in their shared bed. Soap leaning into Ghost's bareback, well his arms he’s Ghost close.”Still think you need to babysit the guy?”. Soap asked.” You aren't going to let that go Johnny aren't you”. Ghost replied.”Nope”. Soap said. His hot breath on Ghost's back caused Simon to arch his back slightly.”I think y/n will be fine he’s more capable then I thought, now cut that out Johnny”. Simon spoke softly.”Cut what out?”.Soap smiled. Soap purposely blowing hot air on Simon's back, well moving his hands to his hips.” I mean it Soap, cut it out or you’ll sleep alone tonight we got the briefing tomorrow”. Simon's threat didn’t work on Soap clearly.” I’m sure y/n would let me sleep with him, maybe he’s a cuddler.” Soap knew he was playing a dangerous game, Ghost didn’t like to share. Ghost turned around looking at Johnny before laying on him like a sack of bricks, Soap wasn’t going anywhere.” Ok ok I’ll stop, I'll sleep, I can do that.”Soap said finally giving up.

When the mission did come it turned out it would be just Ghost and Y/N it made sense it was just the two of them all they needed to get was some data from a pc a quick in and out mission. And for the most part it was an in and out mission everything was going good to good. Almost out of the building with the data you secured Ghost ahead of you making sure the path was clear you saw a man creeping up behind Ghost, you couldn’t shoot the man there was a risk that the bullet would pass through and hit Ghost. Running up to the man grabbing him from behind kicking the back of his knees pulling the guys head back before you beat the back of the guys head in with your pistol. “Bloody Hell that was close, good one.” Ghost said. Everything was good after that the only fuck up being a dead guy giving a trace the two of you were there.

After the mission giving the data to Price and the report. Ghost went his septet for the most part. But that didn’t last long after a nice warm shower y/n was making his way back to his room only to see Ghost again this time with Soap. Y/n eyes stared at the two Ghosts mask moved slightly up as Soap kissed the lieutenant. It shouldn’t have hurt he knew that the two had something going on just didn’t know it was that, the best course of action was to quickly turn around and go somewhere else y/n had some thinking to do he felt like an idiot after all it was stupid it like Soap it was stupid that he thought he had a chance.

Soap moved away from Ghost. He didn't notice that you were there to see both of them kiss for a split second.”Johnny can we talk about y/n for a bit.” Ghost asked, they moved into their bedroom for more privacy.” What about y/n Simon?” Soap said as he played with Simon's fingers.” Were you joking about sleeping with him, be honest with me Johnny.” Simon locked his hands into Soaps, stopping him from playing with his fingers.” I wasn’t joking.” Soap spoke quietly. He was scared of what Ghost would say next, he couldn’t predict his next sentence.” Johnny, I'm not upset at you.” Ghost grabbed his Face making Soap look at him.” I think I like him too, Johnny.”Ghost took his mask off and threw it on the bed.”You want me to find out if he’s up joining us huh big boy.” Soap said with a smile.” More or less. I’m willing to share you, Johnny, if y/n wants.” Ghost spoke.

#cod x male reader #x male reader #cod x male!reader #john soap mactavish x male!reader #soap x male reader #soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #ghost x male reader

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rocknrollbabe14 · 1 year

Text

I Wanna Be Yours (Part 3) (Joseph x Reader)

Rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Warnings: Dirty talk, masturbation (both female and male), phone sex? If I missed anything, let me know.

Sorry if there are any spelling or grammar errors. Did not proof-read heavily.

Read part one here, read part two here.

@josephs-quinns

The plane ride back home was both physically and mentally exhausting. Leaving the airport and preparing to go through your terminal, you felt the tears pooling in your eyes. At any moment you were afraid you’d falter, allowing yourself to break down. Somehow, you managed to pull through, even managing to look back to wave to Joe, however, when you did—he was already gone much to your bewilderment, almost sending you over the edge.

You sniffled as you boarded the plane, taking a seat beside Amanda.

“Said goodbye to your British lover?”

You shot her a death glare.

“Right, sorry. I know it’s hard for you.”, she resolved, giving you a reassuring touch on the shoulder.

You sighed, feeling heavy in your chest. “I just—am I ever gonna see him again?”

Amanda sighed. “If he truly cares about you, Y/N, he’ll make a way. Just the same as you will.”

You nodded, trying your best to remain positive. Your phone dinged.

-I know this sounds dumb, but I miss you already.

A smile curved into your lips, feeling some sort of relief. You stared at your phone screen for a moment before responding.

-Not dumb at all because I already miss you too. Getting ready to take off. I’ll text you when I get to my next stop.

Another ding.

-Okay, love. Call me when you get home. No matter what time it is, okay?

Your fingers typed back quickly.

-I promise I will. Can’t wait.

After landing at the airport near your home, you said goodbye to Amanda and Christine. You had left your car at the airport. Loading your luggage felt daunting, your drive home only about twenty minutes at best. It was late, one in the morning. It was near six in the morning in London. You turned the radio on, anything to keep you awake. The jet lag was beginning to get to you, your mind beginning to wander. What were you doing?

Arriving at home, you shut your car off. You decided to forego unloading your luggage, feeling too exhausted. Unlocking the door, the familiar scent of home hit your nose. You had a scent plug-in infusing, the scent of coconut filling your nose. You wasted no time in kicking off your shoes, your house quiet. It had been several nights since you had spent a night alone. You went upstairs, undressing and changing into your short night gown.

While brushing your teeth, your phone buzzed. You picked it up.

-Made it home yet, love? Just checking in on you. I’m worried sick.

You decided you would finish brushing your teeth before calling him back. After rinsing your mouth out, you slinked off to your bedroom and climbed in your king size bed, instantly feeling the cold, empty sheets meet your skin instead of the warm, welcoming arms of Joe. Just days before, he would pull you into bed and kiss you causing you to laugh until it led to you both kissing passionately, touching each other sensually, rubbing your hands up and down each other’s curves before turning into full blown, passionate sex.

By no means were you complaining, but right now you missed him so damn bad. You turned on your television lowly, giving some background noise. Taking a deep breath, you dialed Joseph’s number.

“Hello?”, Joseph’s voice answered groggily.

“Hey, Joe. It’s me.”

“Hey, love. How are you?”

“Fine, just got into bed.”

“Without me?”, Joseph teased playfully, the pout evident in his voice.

A small giggle came across the phone line. “Yeah, unfortunately without you.”

Joe sighed, his sleepy voice in full effect and sexy as ever. It was like honey, sweet as it fell on your ears. “I know, love. My bed feels so empty.”

Your stomach twisted in a knot, a sigh escaping you. “I feel so empty.”

Joe chuckled easily. “How do you mean that?”

“It can go both ways—lonely and empty without you inside of me.”

He chuckled, this time more seductively. “Mhmm tell me about. I miss you and your tight little cunt.”

You twirled your hair, lying in bed. “Are you sure you just don’t miss sex?”

Your response was cheeky, you’d admit.

Joe’s voice was softer. “I miss sex with you but I miss you so bad, love. Miss you cuddling up to me with your head on my chest….”

Your stomach twisted further in a knot, a soft sigh escaping you. “Tell me more, Joe.”

You could feel your heart begin racing while your mind began to wonder. You knew what you needed—you needed a release, you needed to cum. As taboo as it sounded, you were now debating taking care of yourself. The lack of Joe inside you was driving you crazy. It was just the jet lag, you tried to tell yourself.

“Miss waking up with you in my arms, starting to kiss you….”, Joe’s sleepy voice was turning you on even worse, the knot in your stomach tightening by the second.

“Oh yeah….”, you sighed softly.

What you didn’t know, was that on the other end of the phone the same thing was happening to Joe, feeling his cock becoming hard just at the sultry, soft sounds you were making on the other end of the phone. He was doing his best to resist the urge of palming the growing bulge underneath his sheet. It was early morning in London, but he was taking the day off. It was too hard to miss you. He needed a day to recuperate and get his thoughts straight.

“Yeah, miss rubbing my hands down your thighs, squeezing your ass…”, he continued.

“Joe….”

“Mhmm like that love?”, he groaned softly.

Joe was fighting the urge to grab his cock, beginning to stroke it. It was bad that he already woke up with a hard on, but hearing your voice was making it near impossible.

“Love it, Joe….”

“Wanna do something about it, love?”

“And what do you mean by that?”, a smirk evident in your voice, fighting your own urge to do something about the growing feeling deep in the pit of your stomach.

Joe chuckled. “Mhmm wanna take care of our problems together? Maybe talk each other through an orgasm?”

Your heart began to soar, practically beating out of your chest. Pure adrenaline was coursing through your body, your heat beginning to feel eager at his suggestion.

“And how do we do that?”

Curiosity was laced in your voice.

“Mhmm, maybe FaceTime?”

Part of you was reluctant to agree, feeling a little embarrassed. Being with Joe was one thing, he could help make you feel less awkward, helping lead the way. He made you feel comfortable.

“Is that okay, love?”, Joe repeated.

You nodded before responding. “Yes.”

“Okay, love. I’ll switch the call over to FaceTime if that’s okay.”

“Sure.”, you giggled, the nervousness melting away.

You heard Joe shift slightly before your phone alerted you that he was prompting you for a FaceTime. You wasted no time in accepting it, a clear video popping up on your phone screen. You could see your own reflection in a small rectangle at the top of the screen. Instant smiles appeared on your faces. Joe’s hair was wild, curls everywhere. It made you instantly miss waking up beside him, running your hands through his thick, curly hair.

It was obvious that he hadn’t been awake much longer than the duration of your phone call.

“Damn, you look so beautiful.”

“I look exhausted.”, you joked playfully.

He chuckled easily. “You’ve had a very long day, love.”

You felt your heart beat a little faster, feeling Joe’s eyes on you—even if it was over FaceTime. There was a moment of silence before Joe spoke up again.

“It’s been a hard day for both of us.”

“Have you slept at all?”, you asked as Joe rubbed his eyes.

“Barely.”, he admitted.

Part of you felt sorry for him since you felt partially responsible.

“Sorry.”

“What are you sorry for, love?”

“I don’t know—I feel like it’s partially my fault.”

Joe breathed easily. “It’s not, love. You had to go home. I understand.”

You smiled softly, looking down at your bedsheets. How badly you wished and wanted him there beside you in bed and really help you take care of your problem.

“Now, let me really take care of you and help you—even if we are apart.”

“You really mean that?”

“Of course, love. Why don’t you pull that gown up or off—whatever you feel comfortable with.”, his voice was becoming seductive.

“Which do you prefer?”

“Off—slid your sheets down so I can see your beautiful sexy tits.”, he breathed, closing his eyes just expelling the words.

As a smile spread across your face as you took your free hand, beginning to tug at the hem of your gown. It was as if Joe could read your mind.

“Prop your phone against the pillows, love. It’ll make it easier.”

You swore every time he opened his mouth, the knot in your stomach twisted tighter. His half awake, sleepy sexy voice was driving you crazy. Shifting in bed, you propped your phone up on some pillows while making sure he would get a full view of you. He grunted softly, all eyes on you. His eyes were hazy as you sat up in bed, pulling the gown up your thighs. You felt the soft fabric scrape your abdomen as you lifted it up and over your head, feeling a cold chill cascade over your body, causing your nipples to harden.

Joe’s breathing immediately hitched at the sight of your bare body. All that you had on was the pair of black panties you had put on before you left his house to catch your plane. The ones that caused Joe to come behind you and squeeze your ass, causing you to almost jump out of your skin while trying to brush your teeth. All he could do was devilishly smirk at you as his hands roamed further up your body as you continued to brush your teeth, laughing.

It was a scene you could get used to waking up to everyday. It might have sounded stupid, but there was something about looking at yourself in the mirror, toothpaste on your mouth and him standing behind you with a smile spread wide across his face, hands roaming up your body to your breasts before giving them a squeeze. It was always something you had desired in life. You all hadn’t exactly put a label on what you all were, but with Joe, things felt different.

“God, you’re so sexy. Wish I was there with you.”, he groaned, eyes still fully focused on you as he began to reach down, pulling his cock out of his underwear and beginning to stroke his cock,

“Wish you were too.”, you sighed softly, beginning to run your right hand up your abdomen, squeezing your right breast, wishing it was his hand instead of yours.

His was so much thicker, firmer, broader—feeling so much better than yours did. You were yearning for his touch.

“Mhm baby, wish those were my hands on your tits.”

You smirked, a soft half moan-half chuckle escaping your lips. “Wish they were too, Joe.”

You loved when he played with your breasts—squeezing them, rubbing your nipples in-between his thumb and pointer finger, pinching your nipples—you loved it all and missed it all. How long were you going to have to go without seeing him again? Feeling him again? You all hadn’t discussed when or even if you all would see each other again. Sure, he promised you at the airport he’d see you again, but did he really mean it? Was he really going to go through with it?

Trying to push the intrusive thoughts from your head, you took your nipple between your thumb and pointer finger just like he had, beginning to twist and rub it. A moan fell from your lips, the sound sweet and harmonic in Joe’s ear.

“How does it feel, love?”

“Not—not as good as your hands.”, you admitted, continuing to work on yourself.

You barely noticed that Joe had propped his phone up as well, giving you a view of him stroking his cock. Your core instantly began to ache, stomach twisting and turning.

“Is that so, love?”

“Yes.”

“Well, mine don’t feel as good as yours does when they’re wrapped around my cock.”

You giggled lightly, still propped up in bed and rubbing on your breast. You threw your head back easily, letting small moans out.

Joe chuckled. “That’s so sexy baby, watching you touch yourself.”

Baby? That was a new one.

“I can touch somewhere else.”, you smirked, tease evident in your voice.

Joe’s eyes fluttered shut, voice becoming low and raspy. “Yeah, you’d do that, love?”

“If that’s what you want.”, you breathed.

Joe chuckled again, continuing to grunt softly as he worked on himself. Your eyes wandered to his hand working up and down his length. “Don’t you want to? You deserve to get a release too.”

“Yeah, I’d like too—I just don’t feel good at it.”

There it was. Your nerves and self-doubt were beginning to get the best of you. Joe’s hand began slowing down, slowly stroking himself. You were waiting for him to call this whole thing off, telling you to forget it since you were so awkward and uncertain of yourself.

His eyes opened again, looking at your video on his screen. “Aw, come on. I’m sure you know how to pleasure yourself.”

“I haven’t done it—a whole lot.”, you admitted lowly.

“I can help you—I have a good idea of what you like.”

Your brow furrowed, lips twisting as you debated the idea. “I mean—I haven’t really done it in front of anyone.”

“It’ll be okay, love. But you don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

Hearing the slight dip of disappointment in his voice caused you to immediately bring your hand down to your heat, instantly feeling the warmth.

“Need to lay down.”

“Lay down, love. Just relax, we’ll work through this together.”

You nodded, tr ying to catch your breath as you hit your mattress with a soft thud. Joe hummed as he took int he sight of your body stretched out against the length of your bed. His core ached as he continued to stroke himself, feeling like he was starting to reach his climax. Instantly, he told himself to back off stroking himself, to slow down a little bit. You both had plenty of time. All he had planned today was to mope around, take a break—maybe go hang out with Wesley.

Wesley was chomping at the bits, wanting to know all the details of your week in London that mostly consisted of time with Joe. Joe had kept quiet, keeping most of the details at bay. It was driving Wesley crazy, curiosity getting the best of him. He didn’t have to know every detail, but he would like to know about the girl who was driving his mate crazy. Even Wesley could tell a change in Joe’s mood since you had left. He wasn’t as happy or peppy.

“Alright, just start by inserting two fingers, preferably your index and middle finger, love. Don’t rush it. Start slow, slow circles.”

“Oh-okay.”

“Just show me how you touch yourself, love.”

Joe watched you with groggy eyes, drawing out his strokes. Joe’s words spurred you forward, your hand slipping between your thighs to feel exactly how soaked you were. It was obvious that the only thing that would satisfy your desire was him.You needed his touch, his kisses, his cock—you wished he could split you open again and make you forget your own name, You needed—desired him and this was the best you were going to get right now. You’d have to settle and make it work.

“Okay.”

Trying to keep your hand from shaking, you used your index and middle finger to push your pussy lips apart while you allowed a soft moan to escape. Joe was watching in awe, his cock beginning to ache as he continued to stroke himself, squeezing it tighter between his palm and fingers.

“That’s it love, fuckin’ amazing.”

It had been awhile since you had pleasured yourself. You felt a little rusty, deciding to slip a single finger inside your dripping cunt. You moaned, pressing the tip of your finger against the spongey spot deep within, your back already beginning to arch at the gratification of this simple movement,

“Joe, it’s not enough….”, you whimpered softly, feeling vulnerable and a little stupid as your thumb circled your swollen clit—without Joe instructing you.

Joe chuckled easily before his laugh resolved, making him realize he missed and yearned for your touch just as much as you did his. “I know, I’m so sorry, love. I promise I’ll make it up to you soon.”

“When is soon?”, you hissed, already feeling those knots in your stomach double over.

There was a hint of frustration in your voice.

“In a couple weeks?”, Joe suggested, groaning. “Even though it seems like a long time—I could come there or you can come over here.”

“Can’t miss work—”, you interrupted him.

“We’ll figure something out, love.”

You groaned softly. “Joe…..”

“Let’s just focus on pleasing you right now, okay? We can talk about this all you want once we’re done. Is that a deal?”

You sighed before nodding, trying to refocus your attention on your problem at hand.

“Good, love.”, he began, his voice calm, smooth, and soothing. “Now, slip another finger in there.”

You whined at the intrusion of another finger entering your heat, your warm, velvet walls clenching around both fingers now. The heat was coarsinng through your body, rising from your toes to your cheeks becoming red and hot—much like a pressure cooker whistling as it came to a boil.

“Good, love. Just nice and slow—in and out—gentle motions, okay?”,n Joe cooed on the other end of the phone.

You followed his instructions, running your fingers in and out in gentle motions, eyes tightly closing as you began chasing your own pleasure. He laid on the bed, feeling his own precum begin leaking out of the tip of his cock, running down his length. He wiped it away slightly, continuing to work on himself while coaxing you through your orgasm.

“Very good, love. Feeling okay?”

“Feels good….”, you moaned out.

“Perfect, now can you add another finger for me?”

“Another?”, you squeaked, wondering how in the world you were going to make this work.

He hadn’t even used his third finger when he fingered you.

He nodded. “It’ll—make you—feel fuller, baby.”, he grunted.

Once again taking his instruction, you added a third finger causing you to start choking on your own lustful sobs stuck in your throat. You felt yourself pressing your body further into your mattress to get any sort of relief. Your eyes shot open, hazy with desire and lust as you noticed his cock on the other end of the screen, continuing to leak precum. It was practically causing you to go dizzy. His eyes were closed momentarily, struggling to keep himself from cumming.

“Joe—are you close?”, you whimpered.

Hearing his name roll off your tongue caused his eyes to shoot open. “Um—mhmm, getting really hard to hold it back, love.”, he admitted.

You took your own free hand, pressing down on your abdomen as you own fingers continued to work inside your cunt, both causing the sensation to heighten almost instantly. “Shit, Joe—so close.”

“Cum for me, baby. Wanna see how coated those fingers are with your juices after you’re done.”

“Cum with me?”, you pleaded, feeling your orgasm begin climbing deep inside you.

It felt like a roller coaster—where the car climbed the track at a steep angle, the anticipation building inside you.

“Don’t you want to watch me cum?”

You groaned softly. “We—can—watch—each other.”

You were almost reaching the top before you’d take the plunge—the car feeling like it was going to come off the track. That was the best way to describe how an orgasm felt. You turned your head to face your phone, letting him see your face as you continued to pleasure yourself. He smiled at the sight, softly chuckling to himself as he copied your motion. His cock was standing fully at attention, twitching and pulsing as he stroked his cock—doing his best not to cum before you but it was becoming very difficult.

“Joe….”

“Yes, love?”

“Gonna—gonna cum—ri—right now.”, your words were staggered, drawn out as you felt the feeling in your abdomen swell before instantly resolving.

You felt your muscles contract around your fingers, juices instantly beginning to spill over your hand. The moan released from you as you felt complete and utter pleasure washing over you was all it took to send Joe over the edge. He groaned as he felt himself release—his cock beginning to pulse as his cum began to spurt out as his cock pulsed and twitch, the thick, white ropes of his cum going all over his hand. He didn’t seem to mind, riding out his orgasm.

“Fuck, Joe.”, you whispered softly, a smile spreading across your face, bringing your fingers up for him to see, surprised at how wet you were.

He was out of breath, smiling. “What is it, love?”

“That was amazing—even if we are apart.”

His chest was heaving as he cleaned his hand off. “You like that? Would you want to do it more often?”

“Yeah, that would be amazing until we see each other again….is it going to be a long time?”, you asked softly, pulling your sheet up over your nude body.

Joe sighed softly. “I don’t want it to be.”

He grabbed his own sheet, pulling it back over him for a moment.

“Is this going to work, Joe?”, you asked quietly.

Joe felt his heart start racing, he didn’t want to imagine life without you—now that he knew you. He had felt empty for some time, even if he did have his friends and fame. It wasn’t enough. He desired companionship and now he had found it, he didn’t want to let it go. Things with you felt easy.

“We will make it work. I’ll figure something out. Let me see what my schedule looks like over the next couple of weeks, okay?”

“Okay.”, you smiled softly, a yawn escaping your lips.

“Get some sleep, love. I’m gonna get up and get started for the day now that I’ve talked to you.”

“Okay, goodnight Joe.”

“Good morning, love.”

You both ended the call, your eyes closing. Your body was finally going to give into its exhaustion. You felt like you were living in a dream. Everything was going perfect, you were waiting on the other shoe to fall. How could he be the perfect guy? He was everything you had dreamed of, however, you didn’t imagine you would have found him on an entire different continent. But you were glad you did.

Back in London, Joe sat up on the side of his bed. His pillows and sheets still smelled like you, only making him miss you worse. He sighed before getting up out of bed and heading for his bathroom, getting ready to head over to Wesley’s. He looked at the corner of his bedroom where you had kept your suitcase, the spot now empty. He was trying to not think about it but it was impossible.

-Coming over today?

Joe unlocked his phone, beginning to brush his teeth after washing his face.

-Yeah, be there in a little while.

Joe laid his phone down, turning on some music to help distract him from his very quiet house. He almost needed to be anywhere but his house today. Hanging out with Wesley would help distract him. Joe finished freshening up, throwing on some jeans, a black t-shirt, and his baseball cap. He grabbed one of his jackets before heading out, the wind instantly chilling him. Just a few nights ago, he was walking down these same streets with you. He shook his head easily, everything reminding him of you.

It wasn’t a very long walk to Wesley’s apartment. As soon as Wesley welcomed Joe into his apartment, he eyed his best mate, realizing he was still down in the dumps.

“Are you okay?”, Wesley asked easily, face scrunched up in apprehension.

He hoped he didn’t set Joe off, sending him into a spiral about you.

“Just tired.”, Joe sighed, rubbing his face.

Wesley rolled his eyes playfully behind Joe before coming over to sit on the couch opposite of him. Wesley knew his best mate and he knew when he was not telling the entire truth.

“You miss her.”, Wesley stated directly.

Joe glanced up at him, brows furrowed easily. “That obvious?”

“You’ve not been the same since she left.”

There was silence between them for a moment before Joe sighed. “Yeah, I do. She’s only been gone a day and it feels like so much longer…..”

Wesley smirked easily, looking down at his cup of coffee. “Have you talked to her about seeing her again?”

“Yeah, we just don’t know when.”

“Do you think you both can make this work?”

Joe sighed, falling back against the loveseat while almost looking defeated before blowing air. “I don’t know—I want to.”

Wesley nodded, sipping his coffee. “I mean, someone is going to have to move—if things grow more serious.”

Joe glared at Wesley. “You don’t think I know that?”

Wesley shrugged easily. “Just saying. And I don’t see you leaving London permanently.”

Joe sighed again. “I know, I know. But I am just thinking about seeing her again and we’re still seeing where this goes. It’s still very new, Wes.”

Wesley scoffed playfully, a smirk growing across his lips. “I feel like you’re already very head over heels for her. I just want the best for you.”

Joe sighed, looking out the window. This was going to be a long few weeks.

The next few weeks felt like they drug on forever. You were at work, scheduling appointments and answering the phone. You stayed busy as a receptionist in a doctor’s office. It was three p.m, much later in London. You and Joe talked as often as you could with your differing schedules. It was hard seeing as you both lived on different continents, but you were making it work. Either you stayed up late or he got up early, alternating it out.

Joe had kept his word, his flight to the United States scheduled for a week form now. Remember how you were waiting for the other shoe to fall? Well, that was about to happen. Your phone dinged easily, a small lull in your busy evening at the doctor’s office. You picked up your phone, face immediately scrunching in confusion as you read the text from your best friend.

-Hey. Have you seen this?

A link appeared below the text, you clicking it. Your heart dropped as your read the title and noticed your picture. It was you and Joe from the back while walking down the street, but it still made your heart drop into your stomach.

Joe Quinn’s Mystery Girl? The Stranger Things actor was spotted with a mysterious new girl a few weeks ago in London. No details on who his mystery girl may be, but rumors are flying. Many reports say he is dating casually, not looking for anything serious. An anonymous source submitted the photo.

Your blood ran cold. Joe had warned you this was a possibility, but you wanted to be naive and not believe it could happen. But it had. You instantly excused yourself to the bathroom, dialing his number.

“Hey, love. Did you get off work early—”

“Have you seen this post? About us?”, you interrupted him.

Panic was evident in your voice as the phone line went silent. “Um, no. What’s going on?”

You sighed, feeling like you might break down at any second. You rubbed your face, wondering if you could truly handle this lifestyle.

“There’s an article about us. I’m your mystery girl. My friend Amanda sent it to me just now.”

Joe sighed. “Don’t worry about it too much. These sites are rumor mills, they’re trying to get under our skin.”

“People will hate me, Joe. They’ll find out who I am.”, your voice rose an octave.

Another sigh from Joe. “No, they won’t. You’re not famous, that’s something you have going for you.”

You groaned, sliding down the wall in the bathroom.

“Joe….I don’t know if I can do this.”

His heart skipped a beat, his biggest fear coming alive. “What—do you mean?”

“I mean, this is hard. It’s hard to be away from you. It’s hard getting published all over the internet. I’m scared to even see what people are saying about us.”

“Woah, woah—just calm down, love. It’s going to be alright.”

“How do you know?”, you shot back, instantly regretting your sharp tone.

“I just know. And so what if they do? If we become more serious, people are going to know who you are. To be far, I warned you this was a possibility that night.”

You narrowed your eyes, feeling slightly pissed off. “I didn’t know this is what you meant—exactly.”

Joe sighed, trying to regain his own composure. How was he going to talk you off this ledge? He didn’t want this to be how things ended. He hated when his fame got in the way of things, especially something good like this. He couldn’t count on his hands the times he had something go wrong like this.

“I’m sorry, love. I didn’t know. I tried to look out for people watching us. Guess I didn’t do a very good job.”, he sighed, defeat in his voice.

You took a deep breath, instantly regretting even getting upset. It wasn’t his fault that the picture got published.

“That’s why you kept looking around that night?”

He nodded, even if you couldn’t see it. “Yes.”

“Joe.”

“Look, if you want to end things I understand. It’s hard dating a celebrity and my fame always seems to fuck up personal—”

“Joe, I’m not ending things. I just—I’m not used to this.”, you sighed, your turn to calm him down.

You heard him breath a sigh of relief. “I know, love. How do you think I felt when I practically got famous over night? I didn’t know how to cope or handle it. If it hadn’t been for my family and my friends—I’m not sure how I would have gotten through it.”

You rubbed the lace on your top. “I know. I’m sorry for being so selfish. At least I do have you to help me—navigate this.”

“I’ll always be there for you, love. We will get through this, I promise.”

You smiled. “Thank you, Joe. Well, I guess I better get back to work.”

“Okay, love. I’ll call you after work. I can’t wait to see you in a week.”

Your smile widened across your lips, admitting that you couldn’t wait to see him either. Everything was going to be fine. Little did you know, this was only the tip of the iceberg.

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