#but I probably failed

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out. #and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day? #or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[felsicveins]

The road to forgiveness is paved with miles of bullying

#okay this is the last drunk JD art for a while HFJEJFKCJEJEJ #i just cant resist a fail girl #trolls #trolls 3 #trolls band together #trolls branch #branch trolls #branch #john dory #trolls john dory #john dory trolls #brozone #comic #tw drinking #tw alcohol #cw alcohol #alcohol mention #probably should do this for the other ones

[potassiumprincess]

i think marinette is worse at resting when she's sick but adrien is worse at sitting things out if he's injured. i have no explanation, these are just the vibes

#ml #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #okay i lied i do have justifications #adrien probably just. would love being taken care of if he's sick #it's maybe something his mom used to do but not ENOUGH #and marinette would absolutely spoil him #but marinette is all I AM FINE IT IS JUST A COLD I AM FINE meanwhile she nearly falls off a rooftop in a dizzy spell #but adrien hate being kept away from ppl he loves. hates not being able to protect them. and an injury is more long-term and isolating #meanwhile...idk marinette feels to me like an injurt would leave her more defeated. she'd feel like she failed somehow #like she is SUPPOSED to be ladybug she is SUPPOSED to keep herself together to keep the city safe #so i think that would take a lot of her energy she'd be frustrated about it yes but also sort of...admit defeat #adrien would find ways to cheer her up though 🥺

[turtleblogatlast]

Was thinking about this again haha

Anyway I adore Hueso and Leo’s dynamic and wanted to include Hueso Jr in it because I like to think Leo can be shockingly good with kids

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt hueso #rottmnt leo #rottmnt hueso jr #rise leo #I wish we actually got to meet hueso jr #he’s so cute from the literal One Picture we saw #and it would have been so fun to see the sardonic Hueso’s son be so happy go lucky #he goes up to Leo all ‘you’re the one my papá always complains about!:D’ #and before Leo can go ‘omg tío talks about me 🥹’ jr hugs him tightly #says he ‘always wanted a brother!!’ #Leo tries not to cry fails and promptly says ‘what if I told you I’m a package deal’ #Hueso Jr now has four big bros #turtle art tag #I JUST REALIZED I SHOULD PROBABLY START KEEPING A TAG FOR ART…

[chloesimaginationthings]

Micheal feeling comfortable enough around Vanessa to show her his scars:

Then Vanny struggling to not make every single interaction with Mike awkward or stressful:

It’s so funny their interactions are totally the opposite

#ask reply #Michael happy to see his other universe sister and tears up in front of her #meanwhile Vanny is struggling to even have Michael not look disappointed around her #The Vanessa’s being opposites is honestly such a good bit #I love drawing them together and reacting to things differently #They are both fail women but in different directions #Vanny will (probably) eventually get Michael to warm up to her #someday I believe in her 🙏🏾

[sheerakk]

#was looking for some fics with these two #I imagine this is one of their first interactions and Hunter is already fed up with Darius #but Darius is just trying to get to know the successor of his mentor and check if he's at least a little bit capable of doing his job #he's also a little weirded out by the similarity between these two #basically I imagine Darius gave him a couple of vibe checks that Hunter had failed #and Hunter takes it as questoning his place in the coven #god darius design is so pink and awful #it's so jover uni starts tommorow #it's like the most boring drawing ever but I'm just still in my I have to get better at backgrounds era #and also if I'll draw 100 awful things I get a decent one eventually #it's like inktober but lasts your whole life and devours your soul in the process #no caption just pure tags now I understand those few people who keep reblogging all my tags cuz I give all the fucking context there #there's probably like 10 things I would spot tommorow that would fix the drawing a whole bunch but I just ...don't want to ig #the owl house #sheerak #the golden guard #darius deamonne #hunter toh #toh hunter #hunter deamonne #toh fanart #the owl house fanart #dadrius #not yet but #you guys most fellow toh fanartists moved on and fanart fiona and cake but I keep brainrotting the same stuff over and over #good old toh trashpile

[tereladea]

i have not stopped thinking about them

#steph lauter #pete spankoffski #npmd #nerdy prudes must die #hatchetfield #team starkid #raghhh lautski worms in my brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #lazy ass doodle idc!!!! i'm having thoughts about steph and her cringe fail boyfriend that she loves very much #she's the type of girl to wear hairtie bracelets i just KNOW it #he probably has the world's worst posture!!! i know it!!!! #ok . no more tags

[omg-snakes]

This idiot just scared me half to death by choking on water immediately after eating. I was still feeding other snakes and out of the corner of my eye I saw Mouse the Everglades rat snake take a sip from her bowl and then pull back like it bit her. Then I heard her sputtering and coughing.

I took her out and checked her mouth and then watched her for a while. Like most of my rat snakes, she tolerates handling but she's not keen on having her face touched so that was fun. She wasn't too pissed at me but she did conveniently open her mouth wide when I got near it!

She was definitely gurgling at first and I saw clear water come out of her glottis, but she seemed fine after a few minutes and was clearly still thirsty. I scrubbed her water bowl again (nobody wants to drink backwash) and refilled it. There was no mucus or signs of a respiratory infection so she's on observation. If I hear even a huff from her by tomorrow evening I'm making a vet appointment on Monday.

Oh, Mouse.

#mouse #snake #snakes #reptile #reptiles #reptiblr #rat snakes #rat snake #patternless Everglades rat snake #probably a hybrid #snakes are fearsome predators #i guess we all fail sometimes

[smokin9-box]

Yasss finally finished this, can you believe it? Took me the entire week but hey.

And was the first time drawing jax so that was fun

Tho I wasn't sure how to finish it

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #jax tadc #tadc fanart #tadc ragatha #pomni tadc #tadc jax #tadc pomni #ragatha tadc #pomni x ragatha #ragatha x pomni #ragapom #jesterdoll #buttonblossom #why does this ship have so many names? #i might have failed my math test cauz of them #i know jax skin is probably rubber #idc #its almost as if its FANART #were fans can draw THEIR depiction of the character

[lotus-pear]

got like five asks requesting aku or chuuya so i just drew them together🗿

#i don't ship them btw lol i hc them as mentor/student but you guys can do whatever ig #idk how to draw aku im so sry his hair is so hard for me fsr💀💀 #since bones or asigiri didnt give them interactions i had to do it all by myself :( #its hard knowing your two favs will never get screentime together even tho they probably see each other everyday at work #also they are so father son coded after dazai left i'd like to think chuuya took responsibility for aku #since aku was the result of his partner's failed apprenticeship so chuuya felt an obligation to pick up where dazai left off #anyway they’re besties but i can’t prove it #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #ryuunosuke akutagawa #akutagawa ryuunosuke #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #bsd #lotus draws

[kaiserouo]

Tired Ghost

#i don't wanna spend too much time on this #(wrote an essay about how i thought vanguard hacking kit was developed) #yep that's not lorem ipsum #i just wanna see ghost complaining don't judge me too much #i didn't take history class in the ishtar collective (TM) those are all ooc don't actually read into that #if you actually know what im saying then you'd know i probably failed my computer security lesson #also the traveller probably gave them similar tech so their physical architecture should be similar #also ur a nerd lol #destiny 2 #destiny hunter #destiny ghost #destiny 2 art #my art

[nocek]

I should be finishing second part to previous comic buuuuut.... instead here you have a valentines special ;P

#spiderverse #valentines day #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #deadpool #wade wilson #peter b parker #spiderman #across the spiderverse #mayday parker #lyla #god bless the build in flower petals brush #first time I ever used it XDDDD #probably first time ever i used any effects brush XD #spiderdads #kinda? #spideypooldads? XD #spideypool #also kinda #wade is trying to woo miguel and it's failing spectacularly #miguel gets too distracted by the means to focus on the ends XD #simple hey wonna fuck would be way more effective come on #or maybe i'm projecting to much of my asexuality on him XD which is funny given how oversexualised he gets in general XDD

[lancteu]

family game night !!

#NOOOO THE QUAKITY TUMBRK WHY #speedran rhus so fast #i am of the belief that atleast one of them tape uno cards to the back of pokemon cards to fuck w the others #danny keep a consistent michael design challenge failed #michael afton #scrap baby #golden freddy #springtrap #fnaf fanart #guh #send he #lp #i probably should have pulled upcatleast one reference tbh #my art

[scintillyyy]

there is something where. hm. like yes, tim can be condescending towards steph, he was written by dixon, it's inevitable. but also since, for a very long time, he was the only one supporting steph's decision to be a vigilante & the only one giving her any sort of attempt at formal training, tim is also the one who tends to get held accountable for her by the adults in their lives when she does mess up, or acts reckless, or makes a mistake. because the fault is considered to lie with his failure to teach her properly, so even if it shouldn't be tim's fault, because it's the fault of all the adults who are refusing to take any sort of responsibility, her behavior does end up reflecting on tim.

so you end up with this thing where to steph: her and tim are equals in a relationship. they are similar aged vigilates & the disparity in their training and experience isn't that important. because she's trying and working really hard & her methods do end up getting the result she desires/end up working in some way, shape, or form, so she's doing good enough to be on equal footing with tim wrt this whole vigilante thing. after all, they're both kids! there's no real difference between them except tim gets a little more training than her. and she's not wrong in that if an adult were to actually officially sanction her & train her she would be on more equal footing with tim as far as they're just two kids who are choosing to be vigilantes.

where to tim he's operating with the knowledge that that their relationship is one thing, but their jobs as vigilantes is a completely separate thing. and them being equal vigilantes is really not considered the case to any other active gotham vigilante. experiencewise, before steph even showed up on the scene, tim had had at least his six months of dedicated training with batman & occasional training with nightwing. he had also had his weeks of dedicated daily training in paris with the rahul lama & then his speed training with lady shiva. he does have probably close to at least 8-9 months of training and experience and working as robin on steph at her first appearance. he's also at a point where he is considered by the adults around him to be trained & skilled enough to be able to train jean-paul valley at that point. this disparity only worsens during the time before they start dating where tim finishes his training in paris with the rahul lama along with getting even more ongoing specialized training from batman & nightwing and steph...continues to be self taught. so the adults around them have expectations for tim that they don't necessarily have for steph, and since tim is the one training her & the expectations for tim at this point are that he's an autonomous, skilled vigilante in his own right (and has been since he was left in charge of azbats), if steph does mess up & tim is the one choosing to sanction & train her, then her mistakes & recklessness becomes tim's fault for not training her properly. although in a perfect world, she wouldn't be his responsibility in this way, that's just how everyone (batman, nightwing, the birds of prey) views it. & like. as someone who takes students at her job. it's not entirely wrong that while a mistake made by a student is on the student & it's also very much considered ultimately the fault of the instructor for failing to recognize that the student wasn't ready or skilled enough for something that they made a mistake, because as the more experienced professional, it's on you to recognize the limitations of the student & supervise/guide them accordingly. which tim is in the position of everyone feeling that steph is his responsibility to manage, because he's often the only one who thinks she should be given a chance & is trying to give her a chance.

it's an inherent power imbalance, formed the the fact that tim is the only one willing to instruct her for a long time, sanctioned & reinforced by the adults around them.

#like yes tim is condescending at points #but also she does make mistakes and when she does #the adults tend to consider that tim is the one they feel is in charge of her #ergo it's on tim for failing to control her. which is a heavy expectation & not one you should be casting into a relationship #and there's another thread there where steph doesn't necessarily care as much about reputation or perceptions #whereas tim is a little more cautious regarding you can't just say you're sanctioned and then mess up #because that reflects poorly on the brand #and he's probably a little overcautious but you know i don't think he's entirely wrong #in that the people's ability to trust the symbol comes from competence & the assurance that they won't mess up so uh

[yadntve]

welcome to bible studies

#trigun stampede #trigun #nicholas d. wolfwood #vash the stampede #tristamp ww has never read this book in his life methinks. he probably nearly failed sunday school #(adds another chainsmoking meow meow to my collection) #i also read the whole manga in three days. brainrot is no joke.... #my art