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vmpiires · 4 months

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𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

„𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘”

𝐂𝐖;; mature content. afab!reader, stoner!choso, non-curse/sorcerer AU, no uses of y/n. not proofread so i apologize in advance for any mistakes if they’re made.

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓;; choso had just gotten home from work, a pocket full of tips as usual. the male was pretty tired and he was ready to relax. he remembered that you wanted to watch a horror movie with him, so he made sure to make himself look less tired, swallowing his pride and fighting with his emotions. all for you. but once again…he can’t bring himself to do it. but what happens when he sees you with another man?

₊❏❜ ⋮ part two ⌒

. ݁ ࣪ ، ⌗ masterlist

⌗ ˖⃗ 穿血 — 𝒕.𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 @sad-darksoul @aiyaaayei @a1-ic3

: ̗̀➛ art creds by;; currently unknown. dividers are not mine, if you own these, you may claim them in comments.

: ̗̀➛ WORD COUNT;; 2.2OK

dark mode recommended

do not copy this plot. i’m perfectly fine with inspirations but give creds. if this plot his stolen in any way, the post will be taken down and you will be blocked.

𝐃𝐀𝐊𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 ✉️🖇️;; ya don’t know how happy i am. my pretty princess choso is okay and now he havin girl problems in the story 😭 im glad ya liking this though. hope ya enjoyyyy. reblog to support meeee and if you want more :D (also lmk if you wanna be tagged for possible upcoming parts if i decide to continue)

another note: GO READ THIS and request more storiessss,, my writers block is kicking my ass

“come on, get to it,” choso clapped, trying to get yuji to make his way upstairs. the little boy sighed, getting off of the couch and going upstairs with his older brother still following.

“can’t i stay up for a couple more hours?” itadori tilted his head, looking up at choso. the male sighed.

“you have school and you need to be in bed,” choso advised. though, he was correct and he was just trying to help yuji, he wanted to keep up his plans with you instead of leaving you to watch the movie on your own. “i have a doctors appointment in the morning also. we should be going to sleep.”

“wait why, are you okay?”

“i’ll be okay. it’s just an annual. and you have one coming too, so be ready for that.” choso smiled at his little brother’s consideration for his health. the male picked yuji up and decided to tickle his sides, making the boy laugh loudly.

“okay, now get to bed,” choso announced abruptly, putting the boy back down onto the floor. like before, yuji threw his arms around choso, telling him good night and running up to his room.

after that, choso would take a shower, deciding that he’d wash his hair also. once he finished, he’d dry himself off, shivering from the cold air hitting his skin as he walked back to his room.

back in his room, choso would close the door and start to clean up. making his bed, reorganizing his closet and tossing out things that he deemed useless at the time.

he’d pull the towel from around his waist, leaving him exposed for a moment before he’d quickly put on some clothes. his usual grey joggers. he didn’t even bother putting on a shirt.

choso plopped down onto his bed, finally happy that he could relax. it wasn’t long before his eyes started to close and he drifted off to sleep.

the day’s events quickly faded into nothing but fragments of his memory. even his promises slipped his mind. the male was lying on his stomach, hugging his pillow as if he had nothing to worry about in life.

then it hit him.

his eyes snapped open and he quickly sat up on the bed, remembering you. choso just groaned. he didn’t want to think of you right now. especially when he was just trying to fight his emotions.

you were probably staring at your screen with a slightly disappointed expression when you realized that choso stood you up after nervously agreeing to watch a movie with you.

maybe you weren’t disappointed. you probably had a boyfriend to replace him if he didn’t follow through with his plans with you. he didn’t even know why he was so hung up on you. you had the poor boy losing his mind.

choso was eyeing his laptop that was sitting on the desk, thinking if he should do something to satisfy his worries—if he should call you again.

‘call her? i said that i would do it.’ he thought. ‘no, don’t do that. you’d be wasting your energy. she probably has a boyfriend….you got played…like a fucking idiot.’

choso was now staring at the ceiling with his music playing, smoking a blunt while tears of frustration began to form in his eyes.

he had never been in love before. if the concept was ever brought up to him, he’d shrug it off and not participate in the conversation because he doesn’t know what it feels like to be in a relationship.

this whole situation was upsetting him. it hadn’t even been a week yet and feelings were swelling up in his mind. maybe if he just skipped his break or kept quiet, he wouldn’t be feeling like this.

suddenly, he hears his door opening. as the entrance of his room opens, the smoke from his joint slip out.

“are you okay?” yuji asked. choso looked up, following the voice and tracing it back to his little brother. the male sighed and just took a drag of his joint.

“go to bed, yuji…” he mumbled.

yuji climbed into bed with choso and sat beside him. “how come you’re crying? i never seen you cry before.”

“i—no, you’re too young to understand it. i don’t wanna tell you and you don’t get it.” choso took a drag of his blunt again before wiping away his tears.

yuji went silent for a moment before speaking up again. “i can still listen. just tell me what’s wrong.” the small boy offered. choso looked down before taking a breath.

“i like this girl so much…” choso began, “but every time i wanna interact, i get nervous and i always think about the worst case scenario. another thing, i don’t have time to be in love with anyone. i’d probably be a horrible partner anyway.”

“was it the lady at the store?” yuji asked.

“yes…”

“i knew it. you do like her,” yuji smiled, “um…i think you should still talk to her. she’s really nice—and she smells like strawberries.”

‘how do you even remember that?’ choso grimaced.

“she probably has a boyfriend. it doesn’t matter…”

“did you ask her…?”

choso flushed, “no, i didn’t ask. i don’t wanna ask personal questions to somebody i just met…it’s weird.”

“ask her,” yuji said.

choso sighed and nodded, taking in the advice.

a week passed by and choso had been thinking for a while. no call from you and you got nothing from him. it was radio silence in both directions. it made him feel worse but better at the same time.

tonight, the male was working, showing off how good of a bartender he was with that stale expression on his face. this was the first time he had actually shown off his skill because he was terribly shy.

from a distance, he noticed you walking in with another guy. he wanted to laugh because he already knew that would happen.

‘i was right. my intuition almost never fails.’

choso started to feel the irritation rising up in him despite his dead expression. his body was hot with anger but pain because he knew he couldn’t react like the way he wanted…

because you weren’t together.

the slit across his nose that he was so insecure about, neatly covered with a bandage began to bleed. the thick crimson fluid streamed down his cheeks like tears and slowly down to his lips.

his fingers were stained with the crimson fluid once he touched his face. he quickly made his way to the bathroom, trying not to be seen by anyone.

he stared at himself in the mirror, blood still streaming down his face and hitting the counter as he desperately tried to clean the mess off of his face.

suddenly the door opens. choso covered his nose again with a tissue when he turned around and spotted you walking in. the two of you made eye contact.

“what happened, are you okay?” you walked up to choso and you were about to take him by his wrists to move his hands that had been covering his bloody nose but it was obvious that he didn’t want you to see that.

‘please don’t…’

“nothing—it’s…just a nose bleed.” choso was still covering his nose, blood now streaming down his hands, making a bit more of a mess. you managed to move his hands, revealing the cut that he was so insecure about. you could see his cheeks reddening out of embarrassment now that you seen the one thing that he had been hiding from the world.

you would grab some face wipes from your purse and you bring choso down to your level to wipe the crimson fluid from his face, flinching as the cool wipe traveled over the bridge of his nose.

“sorry,” you whispered.

“no, it’s fine…i think.” choso replied lowly.

“are you sure this is just a regular nose bleed? this is so bad. i never seen somebody bleed this hard unless they busted their ass on the sidewalk.” you comment as you take a bandage out and sticking it onto the bridge of his nose like before.

“it happens all the time, i’m fine.” he replies. “that’s part of the reason why i keep it covered up.”

choso looked down and realized that you were holding his hands now but it was only because you had been wiping the blood off of them.

“you should probably go home, right? you don’t wanna have blood everywhere and then you pass out.” you say. “that’ll be a bit embarrassing."

when choso heard your giggling to lighten up the mood, he smiled a little—it was an awkward smile. the male didn’t smile too often in public or in general. the action felt so foreign to him.

“yeah, i think i’ll go home for the night,” choso says. “and i’m sorry i didn’t call you the other night…i just got-” he stops talking, thinking of a proper word to say. choso didn’t wanna tell you the whole truth just yet. “i just got wrapped up in my head that’s all. i overthink a lot.”

“oh, no. it’s okay, i understand. i was looking forward to talking to you again but i didn’t wanna be a bother because you just seem like a busy guy. always working and taking care of your little brother.” your hands slowly release choso’s and once again, you’re making eye contact with him. you blink when you find yourself looking at his lips.

“yeah…that too-” choso mumbled, “thank you for understanding. i mean, we haven’t spoken for a week, i thought you’d be mad at me.”

“no, i’m not mad.” you said, a bit stunned that he would even think that you were angry at him. “it’s my fault, i probably should’ve checked on you sooner instead of leaving you to your thoughts.”

“i don’t really mind is okay.” choso mumbled.

“hey, how about we do that movie night tonight? i haven’t watched it by myself yet.” you offer, smiling a little.

“you aren’t gonna have that guy there with you, right?” he said quietly. you look behind you and smiled.

“nah, he’s just a friend. don’t worry about that, we’ll have our time together.” you assured. behind your reply, you were a bit surprised to hear him ask about the guy you came to the bar with. though you didn’t have any feelings towards the guy, he definitely liked you.

hence why you’re on this “date” with him….

“i’ll see you after work, then.” choso said and you nodded.

“aw, i thought you were going home.” you teased.

“i gotta feed the house,” choso replied as he began to walk towards the bathroom door. “i can’t come home empty handed.”

and with that, he exited the bathroom.

eventually, you do the same, waving to choso as he made drinks at the bar area. he’d pause for a moment to wave back at you, making you smile.

later that night, choso gets on facetime with you again with a cigarette between his lips. he had on a white shirt with a pair of basketball shorts. his hair wasn’t tied up like he had it all the time. it was down.

the two of you were watching a movie called ‘pearl’, which you suggested because you wanted to have an arsenal of movies before your night ended. you didn’t wanna just watch ‘midsommar’ and hang up.

“she fucked her momma up, not gone lie.” you comment as you watched the movie. choso was pretty immersed, eyes wide was he watched the murder of the main character’s mother.

“yeah…that’s kinda fucked up.” choso mumbled. the male threaded his fingers through his hair and took a drag from his cigarette, trying to keep himself awake.

“oh! that reminds me,” you start, pausing the movie just as the next scene began to play. “there’s a halloween party next week because you know….doesn’t that sound fun? you wanna come?”

“oh—no, i can’t. i have to work and the neighbors aren’t gonna be able to watch yuji because they’re going on a trip and they won’t be back until the second week of november…i don’t have anyone to take care of him.” choso explained, his answer prolonging as more reasons to not go to said party started to come up. you smile at his reaction.

“come on, kids his age will be there. it’s not like it’s a full on adult party. the kids’ll be upstairs and we’ll be downstairs having our fun. and you told me your boss is a chill dude, he should be fine with you calling off.”

“well—well, yeah, i guess but i don’t have a costume and i don’t go to parties. it’ll be awkward and i’ll wanna go home and—”

“choso,” you interject, “it’s okay. just stick by me and when you feel the need to, you can check on yuji. and you have time to find a costume, trust me. so…do you wanna come?”

choso put the cigarette back between his lips and sighed, rethinking all the possibilities and the pros of going to this party.

“um…yeah, sure. i’ll come.”

“good,” you smile before unpausing the movie.

𝐄𝐍𝐃.

⋆｡࿇ ·࣭࣪̇˖ 𖦹°༅༚

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meiliarotten · 7 months

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Team Fortress 2 Kinktober Time Three: Return of the Kink

Day 1: Language of Lust (Voice Kink)

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

Pairings: Medic x Fem!Reader

Summary: The first thing art of my third Kinktober challenge, let’s go besties!

Tags: voice kink, language kink, oral, scratching, gratuitous German, aftercare

Word Count: 4.3k

The Masterlist

You tried to understand Medic, you truly did. He talked about his experiments at length, and anyone could see how passionate he was about them. Still, he often forgot that not everyone understood the medical jargon that he did, and you couldn’t bring yourself to interrupt him. The last thing you were able to understand was something about the superiority of the mega baboon heart when compared to the average human’s. It was all downhill from there, but as long as he kept talking, you would keep listening, nodding along. The truth was you loved to hear Medic talk, and the reasons weren’t entirely innocent.

“Now this part gets a bit complicated, are you paying attention?” Medic asked, gesturing towards a rough diagram he had scribbled on the back of some paperwork. As far as you could tell, it seemed to be detailing how one would successfully prevent the human body from rejecting animal organs, specifically the uterus, for some reason. Usually you wouldn’t question it, but you felt it would be wrong to let him keep going on if you truly didn’t understand. Plus, it might mean you get to hear him talk for longer.

“Oh yes! Of course I am,” you said. “But just in case, could you run it by me one more time?”

Medic sighed, smiling fondly at you in a way that made your heart skip a beat. “I am starting to think you just enjoy hearing me ramble, mein schatz.”

You hoped he wouldn’t notice the soft blush that colored your cheeks. He had no idea how well he had just read you. “Maybe I do,” you said, trying to keep your tone as casual as possible.

“Well, I appreciate that. Not many are willing to listen to me go on like this. However, you don’t have to pretend to understand for my sake.” You noticed a hint of sadness in that statement. You knew how it felt to enjoy something, especially something weird, and have no one to share your interests with.

“I don’t have to understand to see how passionate you are about it, and I like it when you get worked up.” You paused for a moment before realizing how that sounded. “When you’re excited, I mean. Excited about your work.”

Medic chuckled. “Is that so? I have always wondered what you enjoyed out of these conversations we share.” He got a bit closer to you, looking you up and down like an intriguing specimen. “And while I do believe you like seeing me happy, I don’t think that’s the only reason.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, perhaps a bit too quickly. You kicked your legs nervously, hearing the metal operation table you were sitting on creak slightly as you did.

“Let’s see,” Medic said, leaning in, studying you. Suddenly, he started touching you. It was entirely innocent, nothing that wouldn’t be done during a normal physical, even if it did leave goosebumps all over your skin. You started giggling uncontrollably when his fingers lingered on areas that he knew were ticklish. All the while he made mock ‘observations’ about you. “A slight flush, perspiration on the brow… excellent bone structure!”

You narrowed your eyes at him, growing more confused by the second. “What the hell does my bone structure have to do with anything?”

“Nothing,” Medic said. “But based on how much redder your face just became, I would say you like it when I compliment your appearance.”

You stared at Medic, finding yourself at a loss for words. He held your gaze, and you looked away first with an awkward laugh, feeling like he was staring right into your soul. Was this really happening? Was this Medic’s way of flirting?

Placing a hand on your cheek, you found that it was indeed warm. You also probably should have been unnerved by Medic’s comment, given his track record with skeletons. In fact, he had once detailed how he planned to one-up that particular achievement with something he lovingly referred to as ‘the circulatory system heist.’ Honestly, he probably wouldn’t be satisfied until he managed to steal every major organ system in the human body at least once, preferably leaving his victim alive in the process.

Finally, you responded. “It’s not just the compliments. Truthfully, I just like hearing you talk. You have a hot voice.” A moment of silence was all it took for you to realize what you had just admitted. Shit. You had gotten too comfortable. You had said too much, and of course, your immediate response was to stammer your way through a desperate, panicked stream of consciousness. “I mean nice! You have a nice voice, in a normal way. It’s, uh- unique, with the accent, you know? Yeah, that’s it. You would make a good narrator.”

Real smooth. Perfectly executed. He wouldn’t suspect a thing.

He had, in fact, suspected many things. An expression flashed across Medic’s face. First came realization, and then surprise. You weren’t sure whether you should be proud of the fact that you actually managed to surprise Medic, of all people.

“You like my accent?” He spoke with a certainty that implied he already knew the answer. You wished you could blame it on Medic being observant, but the fact was you had basically outed your massive crush on the team doctor in a moment of weakness. The only thing to do now was own up.

“Maybe,” you said, just above a whisper. You’re face was so red, and you felt hot from the blood rushing to your face. “I do have a bit of a thing for it.”

It was definitely more than just ‘a bit of a thing.’

“I am surprised. Usually when it comes to accents people go for the French, or the other romance languages,” Medic said, looking you over like you were a subject to be psychoanalyzed. It made you feel so small, even though you had the freedom to leave whenever you wanted. Not that you would. You liked where this conversation seemed to be going, even if you were embarrassed by how it was initiated.

“I guess I just have unique tastes.” There wasn’t much more of an explanation for you to give. You weren’t quite sure when you developed a thing for accents, let alone Medic’s in particular, but the human brain worked in mysterious ways. While you satiated yourself with the occasional foreign nickname he had given you, there was a part of you that occupied lonely nights with thoughts of how it might sound if he were to moan against your ear, whispering sweet nothings in a language you barely understood.

“I hope that this isn’t the only reason you come to visit me,” Medic said. “I actually thought you enjoyed hearing me ramble about exotic animal parts and Medigun technology, but perhaps that was just wishful thinking, ja?”

“Of course not,” you quickly reassured him. “I guess you could say I came for the accent and stayed for the sordid tales of grand theft skeleton.”

That at least got a laugh out of him. “Well then, I suppose I can’t be too hurt, liebchen.”

Damn it. Your blush had just begun to calm down, too. “That’s not fair!”

“Why not? You didn’t seem to have a problem with my little pet names before. In fact, I think you liked them very much.” His eyes narrowed, zeroing in on you in a way that reminded you of a wolf tracking its kill.

“It’s different now that you know,” you stammered, struggling to keep your composure as you held his gaze.

“How so, schatz?”

You huffed. Now he was just doing it on purpose. You weren’t going to humor him with an answer if he was just going to keep teasing you- until you felt a breath against your ear. “I asked you a question, mein engelchen. I expect an answer.”

“Oh fuck,” you whispered. You hadn’t even realized how close Medic was getting. Now his arms were on either side of you, gripping the edges of the operation table. He probably noticed the way your body stiffened and the way you squeezed your thighs together. Even so, a part of you worried you were being too presumptuous. Was this really going where you thought it was going? “Medic, what are you doing?”

“I thought that would have been obvious,” he said, chuckling softly. “I’m giving you what you want, if you’ll let me.”

“Seriously?” you asked, trying not to be too embarrassed at how the word came out as more of a shocked squeal.

“Only if you want to.” Medic backed away to look you up and down. He still wore a knowing smirk, but there was a hint of sincerity behind it that let you know that if you wanted this to stop, it would stop. You didn’t want that though. You had dreamt of a moment like this, and here it was, being offered on a silver platter, or rather, a silver operating table.

Before you could think, almost as if on instinct, you leaned forward and kissed him. You felt him startle, jolting against you slightly before he melted into the sinfully short kiss. You looked up at him with glassy eyes when you parted. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

Looking up at him like that, you were irresistible. Medic leaned down, kissing you hard. He was much rougher, biting at your lower lip until he could slip his tongue into your mouth. Your legs wrapped around his hips, pulling him against you. He moaned into your mouth as you grounded against him, cursing the layers of fabric that remained between the two of you.

“Medic, please,” you gasped when you parted for a breath.

“How about you beg for me in my native tongue?” Medic said. “After all, I know how much you love it.”

“I don’t know how,” you whined, not even caring that you sounded utterly pathetic. Your voice was already quivering and besides a heated makeout, nothing had really happened yet.

Medic’s gaze softened. You were adorable when you were frustrated. “I’ll teach you, liebe. You know how to say please, don’t you?”

“Bitte.” You responded with some confidence, having heard Medic say it before, usually when asking for assistance on the battlefield.

“Very good. Now, repeat after me, ‘Bitte, lass mich deinen Schwanz lutschen.’” He spoke slowly, and you repeated the words at the same pace, occasionally struggling around the pronunciation that felt foreign on your tongue.

Medic smiled, and you took that as a sign that you did well. “What does it mean?”

That smile twisted into a smirk. “It means, ‘please, let me suck your cock.’”

The heat in your cheeks deepened, and you knew you had just turned a much deeper shade of red. Perhaps it was a bit naive of you to think that what you had just said would be anything other than lewd. “Well,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “Can I?”

“Certainly!” Medic’s swirk widened, his teeth glinting in the harsh light of the infirmary. His eyes tracked your every move as you dismounted the table, pacing around him until he was leaning back on the steel surface and you were knelt down in front of him. His ever present gaze made you shiver. Reaching for his belt, you paused at the buckle, glancing up at him nervously. “Go on, liebling.”

You nodded, wasting little time unfastening the belt and unzipping his fly. With some finessing, you eventually freed his cock, working him up with your hand. The way he groaned at your touch made you squirm, pressing your thighs together in an attempt to quell your arousal. You were quite proud to find that he was already half hard.

It wasn’t long before you could get to work with your mouth. You licked your lips until they were reddened and wet. The noise he made when you simply dragged your tongue along the underside of his cock was maddening. You had fantasized about what it might be like to hear him moan, to watch him come undone with your touch, but nothing could compare to the real thing. You needed to hear more.

Little did you know, Medic had thought about this before as well. He had wondered how you would look on your knees, lips parted and ready to take anything he gave you. You took it so well, too. Your mouth was tight around his shaft, and you did such delightful things with your tongue that made him grip the edge of the table and pulled shaky groans from his lips. “That’s it, keep going, liebchen. Du machst das so gut, you’re so good!”

You shuddered, a low moan escaping you. Although it was muffled, Medic immediately took notice. Your muscles were taut, and you seemed to double your efforts, bobbing your head faster and working your tongue against him. Something he said had certainly motivated you. ‘A praise kink,’ Medic thought to himself. ‘This will be fun.’

“Do you like it when I call you good?” You would have nodded if you weren’t otherwise occupied. In fact, you were so wrapped up in your current task that you barely heard him. He didn’t seem to need any further confirmation though. Medic weaved his fingers into your hair until he had a tight grip close to your scalp. “Let’s see just how good you can be for me then. I want to feel your throat tighten around me.”

He pushed you further down onto his cock. Every move was gentle and gradual. Medic paid attention to your reactions, pausing whenever he felt you gag, letting you adjust until eventually you managed to take him as deep as he hoped for. You were held there, breathing slowly through your nose as you felt his cock press into your throat. Your tongue continued to massage the underside of his cock.

“Sheiße,” Medic cursed softly. His grip on your hair loosened, and you took the opportunity to start bobbing your head again. Only now, you could take him to the hilt on your own accord. Instantly he was gripping the edge of the operating table in a white knuckled grasp. “Oh gott, liebling! That’s so good!” He was panting, and you loved it. Every sound that came out of him was breathy and high pitched, almost sounding more akin to whimpers than moans. “You’re doing so well, meine gutes mädchen, my good girl!”

Of course the praise wasn’t about to let up. You moaned around his cock, doubling your efforts. You were a good girl, you were his good girl, and you wanted to prove it with every fiber of your being. For a moment, you thought you could be content to simply bring him to completion right there, your own pleasure be damned, but it seemed like Medic had other plans. You felt a harsh tug on your hair, pulling you off of his cock. You gasped, the sound quickly turning into a whine.

“Sorry, liebchen, but with the way you were moaning…” He paused for a breath. Medic’s expression was pained, as if he didn’t want to make you stop, but forced himself to. “I was getting much too close, and I still want a chance to fuck you properly.”

You immediately jumped at that, almost literally, as you hoisted yourself back up onto the table with surprising speed. The metal had gone cold, cold enough that you felt it through your clothing, causing you to shiver. Speaking of clothing, you were still wearing far too much of it. At least that’s what Medic seemed to think. He quickly stripped you of your pants and underwear, only allowing your top to remain, to ward off the chill of the metal.

Medic took in the sight of you slowly, relishing every detail. Your legs were spread wide and inviting. Oh, you were positively soaked. He ran a finger over your sex and it came back wet and shining. The gesture left you shuddering. It seemed you were sensitive to even the smallest touch. This was going to be fun.

“Please, please fuck me!” you whined.

“You can’t withstand a little teasing, liebchen?” Medic laughed, letting his hands caress your inner thighs, so tantalizingly close to where you wanted to be touched, but just out of reach. “Don’t worry, you’ll have what you want, but first, beg for me properly.”

“Bitte!” you cried, recalling your earlier lessons. “Bitte, Medic!”

“You remembered! Very good.” He dragged you forward to the edge of the table, sliding his cock against you, past your entrance and up to your clit. So close, so agonizingly close. “Now let’s add some new vocabulary. Say, ‘bitte, fick mich.’”

“Bitte! Fick mich!” You didn’t hesitate like before. There was no need to speak slowly and sound out words. Desperation apparently did wonders for your pronunciation.

“Perfekt.”

Medic’s cock was coated in your arousal, twitching against you. He was just as needy as you were, he was just better at hiding it, but there was no need to resist anymore. In one quick thrust, Medic lets you feel every inch of him. The noise you made was animalistic. You clung onto his arm, pulling at the sleeves of the white coat that he still wore. You didn’t even mind- the uniform was starting to become part of the appeal.

He groaned, thrusting slowly, savoring the feeling of your warmth around him. You watched, enraptured by the way he buried himself within you. “So good,” he muttered. You glanced up at him, meeting his eyes. “Is it good for you too, meine liebe?”

Medic stroked your cheek gently, his gaze softening. “It feels good. Fuck, Medic! Please fuck me harder!” you gasped, bucking your hips uselessly.

That moment of gentleness faded as soon as it arrived. Medic gripped the edge of the table for leverage as he fucked you against it. The metal creaked beneath the barrage, but it wouldn’t give away. This table was built to hold the likes of Heavy, there was no way it would buckle. Any other surface very well might have, though.

“I’ve wanted to do this for such a long time,” Medic groaned, his voice low and his breathing heavy. Even now, he tried to take in every feature, committing the image of you taking him so nicely to memory. Everything from the gentle bounce of your chest to the way you bit your lower lip in a vain attempt to smother your own moans would be a detail he could call upon during lonely nights. “If only I knew sooner that you were so smitten with something as simple as my voice.”

Suddenly, his grip shifted to your waist, pulling you forward to meet his thrusts. You keened, feeling him drive deeper into you. He rocked his hips against yours, letting you grind and adjust to the newfound depth.

“Medic,” you began, struggling to catch your breath enough to speak. “Medic, I want- oh fuck!”

“What is it, liebchen?” He paused, letting you regain enough composure to speak. “Go on, tell me what you need.”

“Just keep speaking to me, please, until I come,” you pleaded.

“What would you like to speak about?” He asked, a knowing smirk on his face.

“Anything,” you said, hesitating for a moment before continuing. “And could you maybe do it in German?”

“Natürlich, kleine Taube. Ich glaube, du willst es härter, ja?” Now unable to understand him, the ferocious pace you were subjected to came without warning. You held onto the edges of the table, feeling the metal dig into your fingers as your grip tightened. Medic’s fingers pressed into the softness of your waist. You gasped when his nails dug in as well, adding a delightfully painful edge to the pleasure. “Das gefällt dir, nicht wahr?”

The pain was gone almost as suddenly as it began. You whined, unable to hide how much you had enjoyed the rougher treatment. It wasn’t long before you got another taste. Medic’s hands moved down to your ass, his nails leaving little crescent shaped indents in the supple flesh there as well. You were starting to pant, mouth agape and gasping as he suddenly lifted your hips upward.

“Gott, du hast so einen schönen Arsch. Das nächste Mal sollte ich dich von hinten nehmen.” This new angle proved to be very effective. You were much louder like this, his cock hitting all the right spots. Medic knew that if he were to simply touch your clit right now, you would be coming for him in seconds. However he wasn’t ready for this to end just yet.

Your moans were music to his ears. Should any of his fellow mercenaries pass by the infirmary right now, it wouldn’t be hard to determine just what was happening. The thought managed to rouse some envy in Medic. Your sweet sounds were for him alone. Perhaps it would be better to quiet you down for now. Leaning down, he pressed his lips roughly to yours, muffling your noises. You still whimpered between kisses, but they were soft and subtle, just barely loud enough to reach his ears.

“Magst du es, wenn ich dich küsse? Soll ich weitermachen?” he murmured, stealing another soul reaping kiss. This was quite liberating, being able to say whatever he wanted to you, only to watch you melt at the sound of it every time. “Du musst nicht antworten. Es ist für mich offensichtlich.”

You rolled your hips to meet his. He felt the way your muscles flexed under his hands, and he knew you were close. You whimpered and gasped, haphazardly bucking against him, chasing the last bit of sensation that would tip you over the edge. Your expression was a beautiful mix of desperate frustration and overwhelming pleasure. It was a sight that brought Medic dangerously close to losing control. Realizing he was reaching his limit, he finally showed you some mercy, knowing that the look on your face when you came would far outweigh anything he had yet seen.

“Komm für mich,” he groaned. One hand splayed out on your lower stomach, his thumb reached down to rub quick circles over your clit. You may not have known German, but you could most certainly infer what that meant. You shuddered, back arching, letting out a harsh sounding moan as your orgasm overtook you. “Du fühlst dich so gut an. Ich komme- scheiße!”

Now that you had reached your peak, Medic’s inhibitions seemed to be gone. He chased his own climax, thrusting into you roughly and unevenly. When he finally went still, you had practically gone limp beneath him, overstimulated and teary eyed. When he came you could have sworn he was even louder than you were. You almost wondered if he was playing it up, given your affinity for his voice, but on the other hand, Medic was loud and proud in most situations. It would only make sense that he was a bit of a screamer himself.

When he finally came down from his high he noticed how you were trembling. It was clear that your body was overwhelmed. A few tears managed to spill down your cheeks, even as a blissed out smile remained on your face. You probably didn’t even realize you were crying. Medic withdrew carefully, making an apologetic sound when you whimpered at the sensation.

“You’re going to be sore tomorrow,” he said, stating the obvious. Medic observed you for a moment, making sure you were alright, before you suddenly found yourself being hoisted against his chest. You wrapped your legs around his waist for stability as he lifted you off the table and carried you towards an offshoot of the infirmary. Before you could ask where he was going, or how the hell he had the strength left to carry you like this, Medic opened the door to reveal a small, but cozy room. This was clearly his personal quarters. It made sense that it would be part of the infirmary.

“Why are we here?” you asked. Your words were soft, as if raising your voice above a whisper might shatter the pleasant afterglow that had began to settle over you.

“It is quite late. The least I could do is let you stay the night.” Medic laid you down on the surprisingly plush mattress. This was luxury compared to your barracks. You stretched out before burrowing into the blankets letting them engulf you.

“Thank you,” you whispered. “For all of this. That was so good.”

“I had fun as well, mein Täubchen.”

That pet name was new. He had used it a few times tonight, but only now did it pique your interest. “What does that mean?” you asked.

Medic smiled softly. “My dove.”

“Oh,” you said, too flustered to say much else. Being compared to one of his beloved pets felt nice. It made you feel delicate, like something to be cared for.

“You blush so easily!” Medic said with pure glee. You almost expected him to pinch your cheeks. “I will definitely enjoy this side of you, liebe, so easy to tease!

“Yeah, yeah,” you said, trying to brush it off, even though you knew your face was practically glowing with the flush that you were sporting. “Maybe we can do more tomorrow. I’m exhausted.”

“Of course. This was quite an eventful day.” Medic kissed your forehead, an oddly tender gesture after all the rough treatment. “Get some rest. I will join you once I’ve cleaned up in the infirmary.”

Medic left and you closed your eyes. When he returned just a few minutes later you were already asleep, snoring softly in your sanctuary of pillows and blankets. He had never seen you so relaxed before. You murmured something unintelligible when Medic slipped under the covers beside you, whispering for you to go back to sleep as he draped an arm over you, feeling your body press closely against his in the peaceful darkness.

#tf2 x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #merc x reader #minors dni #smut #tf2 smut #team fortress 2 #cross posted on ao3 #tf2 #kinktober #Kinktober 2023 #medic x reader #tf2 medic #medic tf2 #medic team fortress #medic team fortress 2

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hiddencityhijinksau · 2 months

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I'm totally gonna create art for this - already have - but in the meantime I should probably explain this concept lol.

So basically, in one way or another, the turtles each stumble upon the Hidden City at around age 8 to 10, and decide to keep it a secret from their bros >:3

Leo is the first one, technically, when he goes out to explore NYC when he's eight, and discovers Run of the Mill Pizza, because I'm obsessed with the Uncle Hueso idea, but he doesn't go to the actual city until much later, though he knows of it's existence.

I actually kinda started writing this starting bit? It's totally unedited and missing bits but whatever, I'll include it under the cut.

Leo peered up at the manhole cover from the bottom of the ladder, imagining what he would see if he climbed up and lifted it. The young turtle mutant didn't get long to think about it, hearing his brothers call for him.

"I'm coming!" The 8 year old ran to catch up with his family, sending one last considering look at the rungs of the ladder.

Later that night, after his brothers were asleep and his father was dozing in front of the TV, the red-eared slider crept out of bed, utilizing all the stealth skills he'd learned from the lessons Splinter thought he hadn't been paying attention to. Once safely out of the Lair, Leo practically sprinted down the route to the manhole cover he'd spotted earlier. There were entrances closer to the Lair, of course, but this way, if he got caught sneaking back in he could say he was just wandering around the sewers.

Reaching the top of the ladder, the slider paused for a moment, savoring the adrenaline of what he was about to do. Splinter never even let them explore the sewers without him, nevermind letting Leo venture out on his own. And now he was about to go Topside!

Shoving at the metal disc with all his strength, Leo cautiously poked his head out, eyes wide to take it all in. Of course, this wasn't his first time on the surface – Splinter had taken all the boys with him once or twice for scavenging trips, especially when they were younger. But now, Leo was here on his own! This was so exciting!!

The slider climbed out of the manhole, tugging the cover almost back into place, but leaving a small gap so he could get in later, as he wasn't sure how to lift it from the top side.

Bouncing in place, Leo looked around the alley he'd surfaced in with a wide grin, wondering what he might find.

Hmm. There wasn't much in this alleyway. In fact, it was pretty much empty. Nothing but a few scraps of cardboard and a colourful graffiti tag decorated the concrete.

Well, Leo didn't come here just to hang out in one measly alleyway! Full of confidence, the eight-year-old marched to the end of the alley, pulling up the hood of his sweater as he rounded the corner.

Even with the late hour, there were still people on the streets, eyes focused on getting to their destination. No one paid attention to the small figure in a battered green hoodie hurrying along, sticking close to the wall.

Leo ducked into the next alley, heart pounding. Okay, so that was a lot more nerve-wracking without Dad or Raph than he'd thought it would be.

Luckily, he realized as he took in his surroundings, this alleyway was much more interesting than the one he'd come out of. There was a huge dumpster on one side, and the walls were covered in graffiti. Even better, the far end of the alley was actually a corner, meaning there was more to explore!

Leo started poking around, kicking at the small piles of trash and inspecting the locked dumpster. Not finding anything cool, he moved on, admiring the graffiti.

He ended up turning two more corners while following the trail of graffiti, and found himself facing the street again. The constant something of spray paint broke off at the corner, meaning the skull painting in this alley stood out sharply.

Bla blah blah some yokai open the door to run of the Mill while Leo watches from behind a dumpster or smth

Leo's eyes sparkled. Was that actual magic?! Donnie said magic was impossible, but Donnie also said it was impossible for the two of them to be twins, and Leo knew that wasn't true. The turtle bounced forward with glee, eager to see where those people had gone, only to stop short when the portal closed in his face.

Leo frowned. Clearly, he just hadn't been fast enough. Wait, what was that gesture they used to open it? Leo lifted his hand, trying to mimic the pose he'd seen, and wiggled it with great concentration.

Nothing happened.

Huffing, the boy tried again. And again. And was glaring at the wall, ready to shout at it to let him in, when he heard someone approaching the alleyway. Eyes lighting up with an idea, Leo darted behind the nearest dumpster and peeked out, watching carefully.

Sure enough, another mutant-like person entered the alley, heading for the graffiti tag. Leo stared hard at the gesture they made, but instead of waiting and trying to copy it, he darted in behind them as soon as the portal opened.

As soon as he was inside, Leo stopped. And stared.

There were so many people! And none of them were human.

"This is the coolest place I've ever seen," Leo whispered to himself in awe. He slowly started walking further in, craning his neck to stare at every little detail.

So entranced was he, that he didn't see the bony figure approaching until he nearly face-planted into their suit.

"Where are your parents, little pepino?"

Leo froze and looked up at the sound of the voice. Towering over him, arms crossed, was a frowning... skeleton?!

Instantly forgetting to feel guilty at being caught, Leo blurted out, "are you dead?!" His eyes were wider than they'd been all evening, he was sure. Because, come on, that was a walking, talking, skeleton man!!!

The aforementioned skeleton man, somehow, raised an eyebrow. "No, I am not dead. Have you never seen a skeleton yokai before?"

"No," Leo responded, eyes still wide. "What's a yokai?"

"Que pasa con este niño," the yokai muttered under his breath, then continued in a normal tone, "Yokai is what we are. You, me, and everyone in this restaurant is a yokai."

"Oh. Hey, what was that language you were talking in?"

The yokai looked at him weirdly, but Leo really did want to know! He'd only said one sentence but it sounded so cool! Leo already knew he wanted to learn it.

"Spanish. Why are you here, niño?"

"Uhhhhhh... Dad... sent me?" Leo cringed a little at the blatant lie, and decided to distract him with another question. "Can you say something in Spanish?!"

The yokai sighed. "Tell me your name and I'll consider it."

He beamed. "I'm Leo! What's your name?"

"You can call me Señor Hueso."

"Whoa, is your name in Spanish?! Wait wait wait you gotta say something in Spanish now! I told you my name!"

"Deberías estar en le cama, tortuguita."

"Coooool! What does that mean?"

"It means 'you should be in bed, little turtle'. Let's go, out, time for you to go home." Hueso began pushing at Leo's shoulders, nudging him towards the door.

"Whaaaat? Come on, you can't kick me out! I just got here!" Leo dug his heels in, refusing to be pushed.

"This is a restaurant, not a daycare. I do not have time to be babysitting lost children. Out!" With one final shove, Señor Hueso let go of Leo and prepared to shut the portal.

The turtle mutant stumbled and whirled around as soon he was free. "Wait! You're just gonna let a child wander around New York alone? At night? Isn't that illegal?"

"Well, since you won't tell me where your parents are..." Hueso trailed off with a raise of his eyebrow, waiting to see if Leo would offer any more information.

Leo huffed in defeat. He didn't want to admit it, but he was getting tired, as it was already far past his usual bedtime. "Fine, fine, I'm going! But I'll be back tomorrow!"

----------------

Leo did in fact come back the next day. Hueso wasn't there when Leo scampered in behind a weird frog yokai, so the slider was quick to scurry off into the restaurant, hoping he could hang out for a little while before Hueso found him and kicked him out again.

To be continued...?

#rottmnt #hidden city hijinks au #hiddencityhijinksau #rottmnt leo #rottmnt señor hueso #señor hueso #run of the mill pizza rottmnt #turtle tots #turtle tot leonardo #turtle tot leo #fanfiction #its a draft tho #i still havent totally figured out how to use tumblr #its been months #have a poll ig

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foodsies4me · 2 months

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February Malec fic rec!

Thanking @kalalab for this month's theme which is enemies to lovers! The same rules still apply, about one fic per author, but all of these authors have other brilliant fics you should be reading and if you want to add your own recs in the comments, tags, or reblogs please feel free to do so! 😊

Also, I have tagged the authors whose Tumblr account I know, but if you'd prefer I not tag you, please tell me so! I don't want these to be annoying for the authors.

One-shots:

Rumor Has It by Lecrit: A human AU which is not something I'm generally a fan of, but Lecrit just writes so well that I gobble this up anyway.

Summary:

Magnus widens his eyes at him, silently asking him to just give him this one. Alec simply curves one of his stupidly perfect eyebrows in response, a simple gesture that carries the weight of a call for challenge. “Looks like you’re gonna have to postpone your wedding for now,” Maia giggles next to him. Magnus huffs, flexing his jaw. “Oh, it’s on, Lightwood,” he mouths at him.

Also, because I suck at keeping to my own rules, I'm adding a second fic rec that I maybe love just as much by Lecrit aka the way to a chef's heart. But, in my defense, both fics are great and one is about cooking and baking. I am weak when it comes to food, okay?

Anyway, summary:

After a scorching review on his restaurant in one of the world's most famous food magazines, world class chef Magnus Bane is set on finding the food critic who dared to slander his art and make him change his mind. He doesn't expect someone as stubborn or infuriating as Alec Lightwood

you're the light that i won't let go by oh-la-fraise: Another human AU as well as an Enemies to Lovers with a twist.

Summary:

There were three unspoken rules to the Manhattan Institute of Higher Learning, New York’s premier private K-12 school: 1) Respect that the space under the football bleachers was for sex, and only for sex. 2) Don’t eat the cafeteria meatloaf. 3) Never mention Mr. Bane to Mr. Lightwood or vice versa, unless you wanted the whole class to get extra homework.

careless curses by @alexanderlightweight: I don't know what to say that isn't already stated in the summary except I love it when alexanderlightweight writes dark themes. (Or just writes in general).

Summary:

The Lightwood family has been cursed by death for generations and now, Alec lives with death hovering over him. Sometimes life is the curse and death the reward.

Ten Not-Dates That Magnus Bane Spends Falling In Love with Alec Lightwood by Aria_Lerendeair: Magnus is hilariously done at the start of this fic.

Summary:

Magnus was going to have words with the Clave. They would be decidedly unpleasant words, and they might be accompanied by a few very pointed magic blasts and maybe even curses. They deserved it. Another Lightwood in charge of the New York Institute?

Multi-chapter fics or series:

All the Costs are Even by tsujiharu: A fic that deserves more love imo, is this Pride and Prejudice retelling. Also, I'm just now realizing that most of these are Human AU's despite me being notorious for generally not liking them, lol.

Summary:

A modern day Pride and Prejudice AU, in which a disgruntled lawyer and an aloof entrepreneur can't seem to get over their pride (and prejudices?) and admit their very obvious attraction to each other.

love is a four-letter word by @la-muerta: Do la-muerta fics need to be recced? Probably not because I suspect most people have read them. Am I still going to to rec them because I love them? Yes! So here is another lovely human AU fic where first impressions maybe aren't what they seem.

Summary:

Magnus knows he's one of the best editors in the business. So when the bigoted director of the publishing house he works for gives their grandson's best friend the promotion Magnus deserved to get, he decides that it's the last straw. Magnus intends to go out with a bang and take his new boss down with him — but he didn't mean for it to happen quite so literally.

Crush On You by @gospi: A FTH fic of 2023 that had me laughing at how salty Alec is about crushing on Magnus. A lot of fun.

Summary:

An ancient, unsuccessful recipe for starting new relationshipsalliances: A dash of rumors. A sprinkle of heritage. A smidgen of jealousy. A dollop of chaotic disasters. A shitload of assumptions. Let it simmer. Enjoy!

My True Love Gave To Me by AlxSteele: Christmas repeats itself endlessly for Magnus and while it's annoying he does end up learning a new side from the awful baked Alec Lightwood. Surprise, he isn't all that awful.

Summary:

Magnus Bane had a plan, a perfect Christmas Eve just like always. Hang out with his friends, bask in the Christmas Spirit. Then everything went wrong. Now he's stuck reliving the same day again and again and again. The bright side? Maybe Alec Lightwood isn't as terrible as Magnus always thought.

A fic that I am sure most people have already read because it is wonderful (which is the reason why I didn't add it last month even though it's a wing fic) is Fall Without Wings by @notcrypticbutcoy. It's a brilliant fic that's all.

Summary:

Or: In which the Nephilim have wings, are taught to loathe Downworlders, and Alec is presented with a conundrum when Magnus Bane saves his life.

#Fic rec #Malec fic rec #I don't know if people actually read this #but these also give me a reason to reread fics #so it's a win either way #also these are a lot fluffier than my previous rec list #which means the next one has to be angsty again #j

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anewp0tat0 · 10 months

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AAAAHHHHH!! CONSIDER MY SHIT FLIPPED!! THE BLACK BUTLER LIVES! What are your thoughts on the new art style?

BRO I'm with you, flipped like that pancake I managed to throw half out the pan😩 I still can't believe. best Monday every fr.

and ooo thanks for the question, I wanna hear your thoughts after this👀 I've already said a little bit about this in the tags of some other posts, as well as touched on it in my master post of the crew, but I suppose I may give a big final answer(for now, from this teaser).

judging the art alone, not the fact that we get a new anime or anything exciting like that, just the art alone... it's very pretty!

yea this is very pretty. the kid looks great, small and good, and his hair looks feathery and neat, so I approve. I think they nailed his general proportions, I think they'll do a great job at keeping them consistent during episodes! the image to the right does looks a tiny bit like a 3d asset, which is a bit jarring compared to the previous anime style, but I'm flexible towards this change. even if he looks like a video game cutscene character, I usually love cutscenes!!

but here's the drama I'm sure you're here for. yes, unfortunately, there are some wee things that I don't love as much🤏

the first thing, it really doesn't matter and I should shut up about it now... but YOU asked so ajdjfksksk why did they have to shrink sebs jaw cmon my favorite art of him ever was during the Greenwitch arc so don't tell me I'll NEVER be able to see that style of him animated😫 I just like prominent features man. I know he's meant to be pretty but but but....

ah okay. heres the main thing that I think most people may agree with.

these are two screenies of sebster from the teaser. honestly, as ☆luxurious☆ as his lashes are, I'm not a fan of the left image. the airbrush on his hair feels a tad overdone. I love the attention to detail, especially in the one on the right, it shows a lot of love! but there's just something about it that's a bit off for me.

and I think after 24 hours I've finally figured it out: it's the colors.

the realization started to hit me when I saw my favorite edit so far here by @ashxketchum. the colors have been edited to be much more saturated and warm. and I think this is exactly what is missing here.

I even tried my own hand at it, and yea personally, I think slapping a saturation, tint, and just a BIT of contrast on the whole thing can do numbers on it.

already I like it(no I'm not just praising my own work, it's not the best edit out there I did it in 30 secs). I think the reason for this is because the background is very rich in contrast and warm tones, so the characters(particularly sebastian who is all black) stand out when they are muddy and low contrast. I love stylistically when contrast is high, but that's just a personal thing, and I shouldn't hold a studio to those standards.

I tried it for the poster too though, which again I felt was a bit off. official art has never been the most top tear, and the poster is GOOD, the background is awesome and the two peeps looks amazing. but my problem with it was clear once I did another color edit.

(edit on the right)

again, I feel like everything was very muted in the left original, not to mention a tad monochromatic. I really think a kick of contrast and hue could do wonders.

BUT. I know that at the end of the day, it's not a big deal. I don't really care. would it make my day or whole year if they slapped a color filter on it, or continued to work on the color grading of the scenes? probably yea! but my opinion isn't obsolete, and most of all, I look forward to and respect the artists decisions.

so no I'm not "fixing" the art😅😒.

and finally, I think this is awesome:

(I had forgotten but this gif is edited by @kilruas from this post)

GORGEOUS. could it turn some people off cause it's mostly cg? maybe. idc though. gorgeous. gimme some of that beverage.

sorry for the rant, hope it's what you wanted! I think that's everything... I like it 85%!

#my asks #thanks for the ask bud!#kuroshitsuji #black butler #kuroshitsuji 2024 #2024 anime #my text posts

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born-to-lose · 2 years

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Never Stopped Loving You

Pairing: current!Slash x fem!reader

Requested by @being-worthy

Summary: You and Slash get hate from the media because of the age difference in your relationship, so he has to make a hard decision...

Tags: breakup, angst with happy ending, age gap

Words: 1,417

A/N: I know I haven't posted fics in ages and this is one of my first attempts at writing since June, so I'm even prouder of myself that it turned out so long. Also, count this as one of the belated annual coping fics.

Tag list: @warriorteam1924 @slashscowboyboots @losers-yurio @lost-in-the-80s @yoshidas-girl-forever @jennyggggrrr @tuffduff @jonesyownsmyheart @rhyetaylor62 @smells-like-perfect-senses @whered0wego @rumoured-whispers @stradlin-cold-heartbreaker @aggressive-slytherin @cherry-jams

Tip me if you want!

You never would have thought you would meet Slash at an opening night for an art gallery somewhere in California, but what was even more surreal was that he was the one who started talking to you.

"Are you one of the artists?"

You turned to look at him and smiled, shaking your head. "No, but one of my friend's artworks is exhibited here. She's somewhere…" you looked around, gesturing to the staircase. "Somewhere over there probably."

He chuckled lightly. "That's cool! I'm Slash, by the way."

Slash offered you his hand and you shook it. "Nice to meet you, I'm (y/n)."

You had no idea how, but your conversation didn't end there and you kept talking and talking until he called you a taxi as it got late and your friend was nowhere to be found. But not before he gave you his number with the words "Feel free to call me sometime if you like".

That's how it all started and at some point, you were dating. Neither of you ever really made it public, you just went out together and left it to people to figure it out themselves. At the beginning, there were some worries about your age difference, but you were both happy and his children liked you too, so why should you let something small like this get in your way?

Of course, your relationship was good fodder for the media. Headlines on tabloids like "Slash dates someone who could be his daughter" or "Who is the girl dating the rockstar 30 years her senior?" were not uncommon. What was worse than this, though, were the nasty comments on social media and the speculations that you were just after him for his money and fame.

What they didn't seem to realize was that neither you nor Slash posted any couple photos, which you definitely would have if you had really wanted to become famous as Slash's girlfriend. All they had was photos of the two of you shot by paparazzi in public and the name of your private Instagram account, which was on account of some dedicated fan who went through his entire following list and compared profile photos to the blurry pictures of you which could be found on any celebrity gossip website now.

Then again, you were not the only one who got hate. More than a few people called Slash a creep and a predator for dating somebody this young. However, this didn't seem to bother him much as you were in your late twenties and thus an independent, consenting adult who had already built up a life. He was more upset about the comments about you, calling you a gold digger, a whore and whatnot.

However, after a couple of months of pure bliss - aside from all the hate from outsiders - Slash made a hard decision.

"So this is the end?" you asked, a lump in your throat as you attempted to hold back the tears.

He sighed, his voice shaking as he replied, "Believe me, it wasn't easy for me to make up my mind at all, but… you know I only want the best for you and I can't keep watching you getting your reputation ruined just because you're dating me. You deserve so much better than this."

You really wanted him to stay, but at that moment you weren't able to come up with arguments why he should rethink that decision. Your mind was all over the place and you were too busy crying to comprehend everything else he said.

Slash held you in his arms, staying silent because he had no idea how to save this situation when he was the one who ruined it in the first place.

You understood where he was coming from and it was more or less inevitable that this day was going to come sooner than you would have liked, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

But as time passed and you reconsidered everything that had happened, you were beginning to question if the critics really were the only reason why he left you. After all, he had never said those three words to you. Admittedly, your relationship was less based on words than on actions, but you would have liked to hear him explicitly say he loved you too from time to time. Perhaps some of your friends were right when they had asked you if you were sure it was a good idea to date someone 30 years older than you - and a famous musician at that.

One night, shortly after you got home from work, your phone rang without you expecting a call from anyone. Still, you answered it and you stopped breathing as you heard a familiar voice you hadn't heard in five months.

"Hey, it's me, Slash. I… would like to talk if you have time. Can you come over? I don't want to have this conversation on the phone."

There was a short pause before you murmured, "Yeah, I'm on my way. See you."

It was pretty late and you wondered why he would want to talk to you right now, but what would it hurt to come see him just this once?

He didn't live too far away from you, so you arrived at his house in less than 10 minutes. Slash already opened the door when he heard your car stop and he was biting his lip as he watched you walking towards him. "Please come in," he said quietly and you followed him inside.

The two of you walked into the corridor and then the living room, sitting down on the couch. You had almost forgotten how much you had missed this place.

Before he started, he took a deep breath and told you what was on his mind without further ado.

"I never stopped loving you. That's why I only called you now. I thought I could get over you if I kept some distance so I could forget about my feelings for you, but I couldn't. There hasn't been a day that I didn't regret breaking up with you. I just thought it's for the best because I hated how everyone made you look like the villain. I've heard a lot of shit being talked about me, I don't care about what they say anymore. But you… you always said it doesn't bother you but I could tell it did-"

You blinked in confusion, processing everything he had said so far, before interrupting him. "Wait, what? No, it really didn't bother me as long as we were together. I knew what I signed up for and I knew we would get hate from people, but we agreed that we wouldn't let something like this come between us."

There was a pause during which Slash was clearly trying to think of what to say. As you briefly looked around, a framed photo of you and Slash on the wall caught your eye and you bit your lip, looking back at him. "You never stopped loving me?"

"Yeah… I feel stupid now for breaking up with you over this and I don't even expect you to give me another chance, but I would be really grateful if you could. I swear I won't let you go so easily this time."

His teary eyes told you that he really meant what he said. Thinking about how to respond, you kept still for a moment.

Sure, the breakup hurt, but why else, if he didn't genuinely want you back, would he have called you to have this talk now after five months had passed? There hadn't been any problems in your relationship besides the media, so why shouldn't you try again? Some may say it won't work out this time if it already hadn't in the past, but you'll never know if you don't try.

"To be honest… I still love you too," you confessed. "And I think we should try again, but please promise that this time we really won't let some haters get between us, okay?"

Obviously relieved, he smiled and nodded. "I promise. Thank you for giving me another chance."

Softly returning the smile, you opened your arms to wrap him into a hug and rested your chin on his shoulder. A part of you wanted to say something, but you would have enough time to talk with him later now that you were together again, so you remained quiet and hugged him tighter.

#mel writes #slash #slash x reader #slash imagine #slash fic #saul hudson #saul hudson x reader #saul hudson imagine #saul hudson fic #guns n roses #guns n roses x reader #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses fic

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jimothystu · 6 months

Text

Talk Hockey To Me

Tagged by @david-reinbacher - thank you Alek!!

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey

So I was kind of assimilated into the hockey world through Blue Jays moots (ty <3), and it was a slow progression for me to 1) start watching 2) pick teams I liked and 3) regularly watch. BUT what really made me be like holy fuck was the final game for the Habs in the 2021/2022 season where they had 10 goals and Cole got his first hattie and people chanted Guy's name. That was insane and just gave me chills the entire time.

2. Your first ever fandom friend

Like I said, I was assimilated through Blue Jays moots, so all of them!! But probably specifically @donttelltheelff <3

3. The jersey you would most like to own

I'd love any jersey tbh. They're so expensive and I have none - so any for my favourite players would be great.

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

Jimmy Stu. James. Timmy. The wettest rag in the league. My beloved floppy piece of bread.

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

There are a lot in my humble opinion. Juraj Slafkovsky/Arber Xhekaj, Cole Caufield/Nick Suzuki, Thomas Chabot/Josh Norris (though Jeh and I have been going a lil crazy with them lately...), Quinn Hughes/Josh Norris.

6. Your favourite on-ice moment

When G got his 1000th career point and the entire Sens bench went onto the ice to hug him mid game!!!!!! Vibes per 60 were through the roof!

THEN

link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

Anything @canadian-as-puck writes for Chabs and Josh! These fics keep me sane.

AND

link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

Honestly 99% of the fics I've written the last sixish months have been ones I'm really proud of and loved writing and rereading. But here are my top 5:

Intoxicated: Tim Stutzle/Brady Tkachuk; silly fic where Timmy's high and drunk and can only speak German

Don't break the dam or you might drown in the current: Tim Stutzle/Brady Tkachuk; my longest single chapter fic in which the weight of being the Sens captain finally gets to Brady

You don't go to parties anymore: Thomas Chabot/Josh Norris; Josh stops going to Thomas's house parties and Thomas is desperate to know why

Desperate times call for desperate measures: Tim Stutzle/Brady Tkachuk; Brady's an idiot and has to win Timmy back after not realizing they were dating

Do's and Don't's: Tim Stutzle/Brady Tkachuk and Thomas Chabot/Josh Norris; G is sick of their pda

Tagging @donttelltheelff @canadian-as-puck @gordiemeow @graves-makar @may-the-puck-be-with-you @kylesdubas @lam-ila - no pressure + sorry if you don't wanna do it!!

#tag games #about me

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haet-sal · 1 year

Text

Hug in A Letter // juhaknyeon x reader

Told in a series of letters. Haknyeon never thought he’d find the person that’s the sole reason he’s alive again, or that his life would continue… and yet, now he’s in university doing both those things.

Tags: ANGST, haknyeon x reader, FLUFF, lover from the past/meant to be type of romance, cold!reader, shy!hak

Warnings: scars on wrists and arms (cause unexplained), bullying, Y/n is a rigid bitch, miscommunication, love triangle but not really

W.c.:8.8k💗💞💗💗💞

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Y/n,

You probably don’t remember me, huh?

That’s a weird way to start a letter.

Why am I weird about this? It’s not like you’d ever read it…

Sorry, I’m not a letter guy. But I just had to talk to you and if it is in the form of unread ink then let it be. I just…

I never thought I’d see you again.

Really. You were an angel that appeared to me that winter day, purer than the snow around me, even when that dirty maroon blood was tainting it: you wiped the blood off my lips with the back of your hand, and when it stained your skin, I pulled away you said:

It’ll be okay.

That’s what you said.

Today you were with your friends when I saw you. We’re in the same year. Of course we’re in the same year. It’s not news to me. It’s just…

You joined the photography club. I realized it when you were behind me, signing up for the same thing. You wrote your name under mine, and for a minute I just gawked, before I told myself to keep walking. I don’t want you to hate me.

My father’s been telling me I need to socialize like a real college student, that if I keep acting like a loser that’s all I’ll ever be. He says I should stop acting so haunted by the past, because nothing can hurt me now, but I always feel like I’m still in that snow. Not that I’m doing this for him. I’m not even doing it to see you—I know you would never like me, of course I do. I’m just… Photography sounds fun. It’s something I used to enjoy, before I became The Monster That Fails to Enjoy Anything.

Legitimate title. My sister made it up on our family vacation.

I’m still recoiling from the whiplash of having you stand there, right in front of me, or well, behind me once I turned around, anyway.

I must have turned around with my head down for a long time, because when I looked up you were walking with your friend, ahead of me.

Already people were whispering things about you, things I knew and didn’t know, like: you’ve spent a good chunk of your life overseas (knew that), your brother Younghoon is a model (knew that), your family’s famous (which I knew, more or less).

The Photography club wanted to initiate us this very night, and just before I got into the hall they rented for this, I kind of wanted to back out. Just walk backwards, say sorry, no one would miss me anyway. I wanted to see you, y/n, but also… I didn’t…

I was just scared. You’d think I’d get over all these fears after everything that happened, but really I just became more and more of a clockwork robot broken by anxiety.

One of the initial seniors from the photography club convinced me to go.

“N-no,” I said, “I’m okay.” These days my voice doesn’t reach as loud, but I hoped it was loud enough to hear—only, of course, he doesn’t care what I want.

“Come on!” His name was Jaehyun. “It’s more fun the more people we have, you’ll have fun.” I guess I got the better end of it, because the female members he recruited and persuaded into attending the club night by several winks and… this weird flirty thing he does with his eyes that makes them fall all over him.

But he knew I was nervous, so he walked me into the club, and was also the one to offer me a seat next to him, in the front row in front of the stage.

I didn’t get to look back into the crowd to see if you were there, so I tried to concentrate on the group activities, which is something I should do if I’m trying to be normal, and there was:

President Choi Chanhee, who was actually a photography major already signed to some art gallery that wants to show his photos

Ahn Sohyun, the vice-president of the club, an impressive feat since she was only a year above us.

And the new freshmen introduced themselves one by one: me, Donghyuck, Kevin Moon, a girl named Rachel, Changmin… you.

You mumbled your name like you were embarrassed to be here but I heard it nonetheless, and when you were speaking I finally got a chance to look at you—not to be creepy, but… to make sure it was you.

I mean, of course it is. You look like you, and your name… I guess I was just never sure if you existed for real, like you’re someone I only see on TV, so whenever you’re in the same room with me, it’s just…

The freshmen started to dance and have snacks after that, classic initiation night, I guess. It’s the end of summer but still feels like the middle of it, and the night was hot and everyone’s already discarded their jackets in a pile.

I’m the only one still standing with my hoodie zipped all the way up.

At first I tried to look for you, but I quickly gave up. I don’t even know what I’d say to you. It would be weird if I just kept sitting when everyone was either drinking or eating or dancing, so I tried to walk around, keeping my eyes on the ground—it’s a habit I learned a long time ago, a habit I can’t unlearn because eye contact scares me—and then I spot you, you’re talking to Choi Chanhee, about his photos and his major. I don’t even know what your major is.

The party transformed completely into a dance thing, and everyone was now crowding around the stage, where they encouraged freshmen to get up and dance, one by one. You were spared the treatment, because everyone was rather afraid of you, or were in awe—either way, you didn’t need to subject yourself to embarrassment like that.

Someone pushed me into the stage lights, I guess it was my turn–and I just froze there, on stage, and everyone’s looking. I search for you but I can’t see through the blinding lights.

“Haknyeon’s cute,” someone says.

“Haknyeon-ah! Do you have abs?”

“Show us!”

I tried to get off the stage, but just like 5 years ago I’m pushed back, there’s no way to escape, and I’m back under the lights again, and everyone’s laughing—not at me, I know that, but there’s no way to control the rapid beating of my heart.

“You’re sweating.” Rachel reached over and pulled the zipper of my hoodie down, and then quickly, with action that shows she works the coat room at restaurants, slid the hoodie off my sleeves.

I should have worn a long sleeved shirt. But I like the one I had on then, you know? I like the color of it…

At home I just walk around with short sleeves, sometimes less—my scars don’t scare me, and I’ve been living with them for, like, 4 years? 5? It’s just a part of me now. All the itching and extra skin and discoloration, it’s a part of me now.

I guess when people see it it makes them want to touch and observe me like a lab rat.

But everybody in the room did that side-eyed glance at my scars, the kind where they’re apologetic about the curiosity, but they still stare—

And that’s when I realized all the attention was on me. Even you—you were watching me, too, except you didn’t have that friendly, initiation-night smile like everybody. You had a blank stare, dark eyes like doll’s eyes, so tough but stunning. And you looked like you were bored of me, which, I have to admit, I’m bored of myself too.

But everybody else certainly wasn’t bored. They were intrigued, disgusted, whatever else—by the scars on my arms. I gingerly put my hoodie back on, while you just looked away.

So you don’t remember me?

Rachel was the one that handed me the hoodie back—it wouldn’t help me now, but it would palliate the staring—and when I looked back at you, you’re talking to Chanhee again, although he looked distracted.

The party went on all night, and I had half a mind to just stay for half of it, and after the scar thing no one talked to me, anyway. There was free beer, though, so I drank a little. It would be weird if I walked out after that scene—but also no one was talking to me.

I lounged around for a bit in the room, but suddenly someone takes me by the arm, and I’m walking unwillingly out the hall.

It’s Ji Changmin, who is nice enough. He grins at me. “We needed some fresh air,” he says, “here, I bought you your own cold one.” It was a beer.

It was club night all over campus, so there were people from every club walking around us, as we sat on a bench behind the garden statue, shrouded in the dark.

“It’s alright,” Changmin told me. “It’s not on you that everyone is a freak.”

I don’t like that word, as much as I use it on me. Plus, the fact that they stare makes me the freak, not them.

“If they stare, it’s because they’re mannerless bastards. Not because of anything you did.”

We just sipped from our cans in turn, sometimes talking about our lives, as we introduced ourselves to the other. Changmin initially wanted to join the dance club, but apparently he was ‘overqualified’ and Chanhee, the president, asked him to join his club, ‘on knifepoint’, he says, “he was literally pointing a pair of scissors at me when he asked me to join.”

As we sat in the dark, people would pass by, sometimes talking about me.

“Did you see the scars on him?” comes a voice, and Changmin saw me cowering in my seat, although we were covered by the statue and they couldn’t see that I was sitting right there. He nodded at me to be quiet, it would be over, anyway. “He must be sick—do you think someone did it to him?”

“Maybe he did it himself. Look at the look in his eyes—crazy son of a bitch.” I held my breath until those people had passed by.

Changmin sighed at me. Clinked our beer cans together. “Here’s to this semester—at least you’re being talked about.”

We both walked back to our dorms later that night, but with a group from the club. I’m finally included in a group, again… it feels good. But I know you went back in that blue racecar-looking… thing… that’s way too cool to be called a car, and I know you have an apartment somewhere close but also expensive. Tonight, like always, that day flashes by in my eyes, and like always, I wonder, why me? Why did you save me? Were you just bored? Righteous? I can’t think of more reasons.

I don’t know how to sign this letter so I’ll just write:

From,

Haknyeon

Dear Y/N,

I guess you’re looking out for me, even till now. You’re really a nice person. I can’t even stop telling you how nice of a person you are, if only I could get the words out… if only we could talk.

Changmin is still the only person that talks to me. It’s great that we’re in the same major together, and although you’re not, your name is the only thing on everybody’s lips. It’s quite a major feat.

“Y/N spent half her life in America.”

“Y/N’s brother, Younghoon, is an international model.”

“Y/n’s a bitch.”

This statement broke through the gossip that started before the lecture, and I almost turned around to see the source of it, because who’s saying that—but I fought the urge, I was going to lay low, anyway, plus I can’t act like I know you, because I don’t.

“What do you mean, she’s a bitch?” someone asks. Thank God, I’m not the only one with questions.

“Did you see the way she didn’t talk to anybody except for the club president, Chanhee? She’s only interested in connections.”

“Of course, she’s raised like that… rich people have no manners.”

“She told me to shut up this morning—like, real mean, glaring, ‘shut the fuck up’. And she stared down everybody at my table—that qualifies as bitchy, doesn’t it?”

“Jeez, what were you saying?”

“I was just saying—” the guy’s voice drops to a lower octave, but the lecture hall was dead silent that I could hear: “—was just saying Juhaknyeon’s weird, that everyone saw his arms last night, and it’s covered in scars, just discussing it, civilly.”

“And she told you to shut up?!” someone asks in shock.

“She threw a coke can at me. ‘Shut the fuck up’ real messed up, angry voice.”

Someone laughs. “Does Y/N L/N like that guy? Like, for real? Because why else would she—”

“Who knows? But they filmed him taking his jacket off, didn’t you know?” someone says. “Everyone in the uni knows he’s a freak—no matter what Y/N has to say about it.”

I guess I’m screwed. I guess we’re both screwed. But… is it okay that I feel a little happy about this? I always knew I would have a hard time fitting in, but the fact that you’re trying to defend me makes me happy. That I’m kind of in this with you—you, and Changmin.

I guess it kind of makes me a loser if I keep thinking of you as a friend. We haven’t even talked.

Anyway, thank you.

From,

Haknyeon

Dear Y/N,

I don’t get it. Why are you doing this to me?

The more I think about it, the more it looks like it’s just a long-winded joke. Your brother or someone set you up to this. It’s surprising that you’re here, but more surprising that you act like you know me.

We don’t know each other. I keep telling myself that.

Today is club day, and they’re going to a village somewhere in the rural parts, apparently there’s a waterfall there. Chanhee funded the trip, but needs more people to sign up. I almost didn't go, no one asked me specifically, and Changmin’s not going, either. I wanted to lay low.

I thought you were going, but soon Sohyun and Rachel cornered you and asked if you would. You looked annoyed. You always do, but…

“Ask Haknyeon,” you told Rachel. “If he goes I’ll go too.” And then you slammed your locker shut.

Of course that day only ended with Rachel, Yunjin, Sakura, all the other boys and girls with a crush on you, cornering me and asking me to go on the trip.

It’s funny, because they never even considered me as part of the club, and now they’re begging me, “Haknyeon it’ll be so fun. You’re one of us!” It’s… hilarious. If only I still had a heart to laugh…

But all this socialization in my life trained me into being unable to say no as an answer… so of course I’m going, and I told them that. Rachel excitedly walked off to tell you—I don’t know what your face looked like when she told you.

Why would you do this to me? Why would you mention me by name and force me into that? It’s strange, Y/N, do you still see me as that boy in the snow? That I’m weak, that you could destroy me?

You could destroy me, I know that. But why would you want to? I thought you were nice to me.

I guess I’m going… on that bus with the rest of the club on that long winded road. To a motel surrounded by farms. I still don’t understand why you mentioned me, except if it were some sick joke.

I guess I’ll see you on the bus.

From,

Juhaknyeon

Dear Y/n,

Fuck. Did we just fight? What is this?

I’m writing this on my notes app in the back of the bus while that guy Donghyuck’s beside me, eyes closed, trying to sleep. I don’t even feel like this is secure enough of a position to write to you, because what if the words mirror off the window and everyone can see?

But I’m hiding and writing.

Why am I such an idiot? There’s no one I want to meet more than myself, so I could beat him up. I’d skin him from the inside out if I could, that bastard.

So today started with the bus ride—I mean, literally started, I wasn’t even awake until the bus started moving—and I was completely resigned to my fate, this would be three whole days of torture, living with people, riding a bus through roads that could make the strongest stomachs carsick… hotel food… the list goes on.

You enter the bus with a frown and your bag, and sit in a single seat at the front. I gawked at you for a second, before I realized that other people could see me looking and draw conclusions.

So I sat in a four-seater, don’t know how I ended up there—with Donghyuck and Rachel and Sakura.

“Does y/n like you?” Donghyuck asked somewhere along the ride, just when we were starting to doze off.

I just shifted in my seat, not making eye contact. I think someone needs to teach me the art of eye contact again, because now people’s gazes scare me, especially kids my age. It’s like they’re searching for a way to bring me down, they could get up at the next move and just—I feel safer with my eyes closed or on the ground. “No,” I answered. Well, it had been more like, n-n-n-no.

“I mean it just doesn’t make sense. She doesn’t even smile to anyone, but with you—” Donghyuck sucked in a breath. The others with him just nodded along. “She even told Sohyun she’s not going on this trip if you don’t come, isn’t that weird?”

“Maybe she didn’t want Hak to be left out?” suggests Rachel. “Because of freak-rumors and such?”

“You must think she’s an angel or something,” says Sakura. “Y/N’s so nice to you, isn’t she? She made sure you got on this trip.”

Just as I feared: food from unrated restaurants in the middle of nowhere. The bus stops for relief, and we eat, if Changmin were here maybe I would be more comfortable but I’m just sitting with Donghyuck and the girls, we ordered bibimbap, which even the four of us couldn’t finish.

You sat away from everybody, in a solitary table eating nothing. You bought a coke bottle, though, and kept drinking. I stared at you for a bit, which made Donghyuck nudge Sakura. “They’re in love,” he told her. “It’s some secret relationship.”

Our secret relationship came to this.

I cornered you beside the bus stop where you were washing your hands; everybody was still eating. You glared at me when I came near, so I knew I wasn’t welcome, but I was kind of mad at you, too, so:

“Why are you doing this to me?” was my first question. I didn’t mean for it to come out like a demanding challenge.

“Doing ‘this’ to ‘you’?”

“Why did you tell them you’d only go if I came?” You looked even more annoyed than before, so I go on: “is this… a joke? Did someone put you up to this? Are you trying to hurt—”

“Idiot,” you sneered under your breath. “Fucking idi—I didn’t want to come, as you can see, I didn’t think you would! I just said that so we could both stay home, but who fucked it up, Haknyeon, who?” You kicked at the wall in front of you angrily, and I stepped back a little, trying to give an angry person space. You just rolled your eyes, and then walked past me, colliding first into my shoulder deliberately.

When we all get back on the bus, you’re in your single-seat, sunglasses on, with a frown on your face. Someone asked you “who shit in your coffee?” and you snarled through gritted teeth, “shut the fuck up.”

Now I’m here sitting beside Donghyuck. Did we fight? Do we even know each other well enough to fight?

I just don’t get it. I hate myself for fighting with you, I should have kept my mouth shut. I don’t know why I started it in the first place—it’s not like I’ll ever get real answers, anyway. I should have shut up, now I feel like I’ve lost your trust, and whatever you felt when you were protecting me, you wouldn’t do it again.

I really hate myself right now.

From,

Juhaknyeon

Dear Y/N,

You’re sleeping 4 feet away from me right now, which is, well, cool, but I’m gonna stay awake all night to make sure you’re safe. The latch to the door is broken for some reason, adding to my vigilance. Plus everyone in the club is horribly drunk, so I…

I’m gonna stay awake. Gives me more time to write this letter, anyway.

Just to recap because I feel like we might forget how we ended up here:

The bus ride was horrible. It’s more horrible that we’re gonna have to ride it all over again when we get back to the city later, it gave everyone motion sickness. No one’s prepared for the ride home.

But we saw the waterfalls! Well, the rest of us did, anyway. You stayed on the bus playing games on your phone. I snooped around and gawked a little–it’s one of those dashing games. I guess even that monotony is better than hanging out with the rest of us, huh.

Chanhee loves the waterfalls (read: took 19,686 pictures). Everyone did, actually. You can’t see anything from the bus, but inside there’s a stream and it’s really pretty. Everyone swam. Except me, I guess, you can probably guess why I didn’t.

And then we drove to the motel, where we were planning to get drunk for the whole night. I thought it’d make everything weird if I went, so I didn’t go. I just sat in the motel room, charging my phone. Thinking of writing you another letter, but I don’t even know what I’d say.

The guys went out to drink around 9. At 10, there’s a knock on the door—the latch is broken, so it just slides to the side.

Your head poked in. “Oh, you.”

I gawked at you wordlessly, pathetically actually. But you didn’t hate me so much. “Can I stay here for a bit? It’s scary in my room.”

I nodded, and you came in, immediately lying down on the mattress they laid down for us. “Aren’t you gonna get some shut-eye, too?” you asked me.

I just shook my head. We stayed there in silence for so long. I wanted to ask why you didn’t go to drink, but I couldn’t get it out, couldn’t get myself to speak to you. You let me do my thing, which was staring at my phone like it’s the most interesting thing in the world, when really all I wanted to do was stare at your face. Ask you questions. All about you, all about that day in the snow.

You spoke first, though. I never speak. “I’m sorry about earlier today.”

I wasn’t expecting an apology at all, so I’m surprised. “Huh?” finally, some sound from me.

“I was just… I didn’t eat anything, so I guess I was hangry. It’s fucked up. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

I shrugged. “Used to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to be used to people treating you like that.”

You looked at me in a special, peculiar way. Not hating but also not enjoying my company. You saw me scratching the tag on my back, it’s hot and I’m covered in sweat. And I’m still wearing a jacket over my shirt. “Take it off,” you say, “the motel heating is fucking off its rocks, it’s like 30 degrees in here.”

I just shook my head and mumbled it’s not hot at all, but…

You crawled over to me and swiped the sweat off my forehead. “It’s just the two of us here, Haknyeon.”

I gripped at my sleeves. “No…”

You gave up easily, thank God. You sat back on the mattress. “Fine, I guess. I’m sleepy.”

“Do you remember me?” I ask out of the blue, and it should have been quiet, I didn’t even mean it for you to hear, I was just wondering it to myself, it’s become a habit of speaking my thoughts out loud because usually no one’s around to hear…

“Do you know me?” you asked in return, louder than me this time.

I looked away. “No.” Which was true, I didn’t know you other than that day and chance sightings, and I’m not delusional enough to force a connection.

“I’m sleeping,” you say. “I trust you, so I’ll just sleep here. Is that okay?”

I said yeah, and then you’re curled up with a pillow. I dug up a fan from the closet and plugged it in facing you so you’d be a little cool. I’m still keeping my jacket on, though. It just gets weird if anyone sees it, even you, who knows how I got them.

Thank you for trusting me.

From,

Haknyeon

[continued on back page]

Okay, I just… I’m having flashbacks again, as bad as it is. You’re still asleep. I’m writing this in the small flashlight, in case turning the big lights on would wake you up. There’s been a few club people coming back to sleep, but I won’t let them in my room—not unless it’s a girl that I can trust around you anyway, but neither Rachel nor Sohyun are back.

5 years ago was the worst year of my life. I guess it was always like that since I was a kid, people didn’t seem to take my side in fights, or I was always under the upperhand… but it didn’t get as bad as freshman year of high school.

On the day you talked to me, it was snowing.

Winter may be the cruelest month to do these things in. One time I stood wearing a mere short-sleeved school shirt in ankle-high snow, with the boys all standing around me—my puffer jacket was clogging the toilet in a stall on the second floor—and they were saying “it’s not that cold,” all the while wearing 4 layers, the pure irony. And the snow fell all around us.

On the day you talked to me, they weren’t around. I was bleeding from my head, I swear the blood was frozen and congealed with my eyelashes, everything was just cold and painful, and I was wearing one jacket. Hands in my pockets. They’d intimidated me into kneeling in the snow, and demanded that I kneeled there until they came back. It was almost past lunch, and they would either actually come back to torment me more or just go back to their classes, mindless of me.

I tried to report them, a few times. I tried to get my parents to help me. It was always the same thing—even the bullies themselves wouldn’t come to the office with me, it would be the students’ representative, which happened to be your brother, Younghoon–he’d apologize, and do nothing. He just kept saying “we’re all friends. We just need to respect each other.” to me, as if I was the one needing to respect people.

You walked up to me, that day in the snow. It was lunch time, and everyone was eating inside, I know students stared but they never got closer. But you did.

“Get up,” was what you said. Just like now, today, you’re impossible to read. I thought you were angry at me—I’ve seen you before, I know you’re Younghoon’s sister, I know nobody could help me, so…

“Get up, let’s go to the hospital.”

I didn’t move. If anything, I kneeled firmer than before, sinking into the snow, head facing the ground. I’m meant to be sorry, although I don’t know for what.

“Get up!” you yelled at me. “If you won’t get up, you’re gonna get sicker.”

You kneeled down with me, and I opened my mouth, I said, “don’t,” the sound got away from us with the wind and you didn't hear it.

You wiped the blood off my brows. “It’ll be okay.” It was staining your hands, and then it fell onto the snow, maroon against pure white. I was the one dirtying it.

That’s when I looked up at you, finally, although I wasn’t supposed to. “Kneel with your head bowed” had been the order. But when I looked…

You looked angry. “Get up,” you said again, this time with your arm hooking with mine to pull me up. And yet, I planted myself on the ground, afraid they would hurt us both if you got me.

“Juhaknyeon, please.” You knew my name. That was the most surprising part of it. “Get up, come on.”

Tears and blood congealed and froze around my temples, I don’t know what I’m doing. Crying icicle tears and still planting my knees on the ground. I can’t get up, I can’t.

You gave up eventually, and I didn’t watch it happen—I kept my eyes on the ground. Praying for something. But when you came all my prayers were answered, and after that… they never bothered me again.

I don’t know what you did, but I know you did something. It was you. You did more than Younghoon ever could, you saved me.

I’m always going to see you as an angel, that day in the snow. I’m sorry my blood stained you, it was dirty. I’m trying to never bleed that way again. Thank you for then. I think you might be the sole reason I’m alive. Now I have to protect you, which is why I’m here staying up. In the moonlight, the outline of your nose is really pretty.

That’s creepy to say. I just wanted to compliment you, sorry.

Note to self: just so I remember to tell you: Rachel eventually came back to the bedrooms and I let her sleep in the same room with you, warning her that the latch to the door is broken. Writing this in my own room with Kevin and Chanhee. It smells like soju here it’s unbearable. I hope you’re sleeping well, though, good night.

—Hak

Dear Y/N,

Are we friends now? It feels like I need a bigger audacity to assume that. An audacity I don’t have.

I guess if the things that happened to me didn’t happen, I would be a happy person. Someone who easily makes friends, someone kind… As much as I wish I were that person, I also don’t want someone else to go through what I did. I guess I just think that I can take the worst of it. Anyway, today it really feels like the worst of it is over. Changmin texted me ‘hey loser, how was the trip’ and I wrote back. I finally have a friend… or friends, since the whole club is so nice to me.

I don’t know why, but they’re a little iffy about you. I find it weird they think badly about you, but when I try to defend you it just makes things worse. I would tell people that you helped me out back in high school, but… I don’t know if you’d like to let people know we’ve known each other that long.

Man, you can sleep. You sat on the bus with your head resting on the window, and just went to sleep. It’s not even like you’re part of the hangover crowd, which everybody is, because just look at Chanhee. I’ve never seen eyes that tired.

You pulled me in to sit with you, though, and like everything you do, I don’t understand it. I just sit quietly. Writing to Changmin on the phone, which I have all sounds off and set on vibrate mode, so it doesn’t disturb you. Everyone’s quiet, and the bus curtains are drawn.

Some time along the ride, your sleeping figure started to lean on me. You were asleep, I’m sure, and that moment was when I let myself dream…

In the universe where I was never hurt, I have an audacity big enough to believe I should be the one kissing your lips. I ask you out. You fall asleep on me, just like this. You put your hand in mine. You feel my forehead by pressing yours against it when I get sick. When I lean into you, you won’t pull away—because I’m not a loser with scars. Because I’m not me. And that’s the only way you’d ever like me.

I thought no one saw us, that we were shrouded on the dark bus… but I guess everyone saw. When we’re on campus again, Donghyuck and the others teased me about it, some of them clasping my arm in a side-hug.

“Juhaknyeon, what the hell did you do that the ice princess is all over you?”

I don’t know, either. I just don’t know why you would keep helping me all this time.

From,

Hak

Dear Y/N,

Okay, I feel like I need to apologize for my earlier wishful behavior that you were mine, because today you came to the club meeting with your boyfriend.

Of course you have a boyfriend. I shouldn’t be surprised. I guess it’s a good pairing, too, because Youngjae is bright, happy, so funny, and his family is just as affluent as yours. I guess he’s the exact type you should ever go for.

But anyway Youngjae arrived at our club meeting today all flashy, and Chanhee was over the moon because apparently they know each other. Youngjae’s parents own a gallery and everything, and they talked for a bit. You looked so happy and bright, bragging about your boyfriend. “This is Eric! He and I got close when I was studying in L.A.”

And Eric mingled with the club, everyone likes him. Some people thought we were a budding love triangle, though, if only they knew how we were really connected. They’d just feel bad for me, hoping on someone just because they saved my life once.

“Ayy,” someone went, whistling over the club sounds, “what about Juhaknyeon… he’s gonna be heart broken his princess has someone like Eric.”

“Are you jealous, Hak?”

I just shook my head.

But later when we’re partnering up for the club projects, you jumped over to my desk and said you wanted me as a partner. I guess you really do think of me as a friend—which I’m happy about! If nothing else at least we’re friends.

So now we’re partners in this project. Chanhee gifted me a camera to use for the club—he has many, he says. I would be bragging about it to you, but Eric’s around, and… I didn’t want to complicate things for you.

Eric tried to talk to me, though, which I found weird. He asked me about my major, how life is, and all that. Do you talk to him about me? I guess it’s only natural… But at the end of it, he told me, “I think you’re a good guy, Hak.” I guess that means he trusts me around you?

I kind of feel bad for wishing you were mine, because I don’t know, it just feels wrong now, and I’m sorry. Anyway, in other news, Sohyun asked me out today. She wanted to know straight up if we ‘wanted to try’ to date, and I said yes, I mean… just for the experience? Plus she’s always nice. I want to thank you for always being kind to me, though, because without you I wouldn’t have the confidence to go out with her.

I’ll try to actually talk to you sometime.

From,

Your Hak

Dear Y/N,

Eric was kind of aggressive towards me when I saw him at the end of all my classes, in the parking lot. I don’t even know why, because I just found out you two aren’t dating, so… why was he so mean, out of nowhere?

I guess I want to ask you but I don’t want to make you mad, either.

You looked actually happy when I met you for the project today. The whole catch is that we don’t have to do anything, really, for the club, our photos probably won’t even be selected for Chanhee’s project. But I tell you this and you said:

“No way! You like taking photos, so we’re gonna take your work to the gallery!”

You weren’t frowning or cursing when you said that, and you seem… not mad. Maybe I am a good influence around you, haha.

I should ask about you and Youngjae, I thought, so I did, “so you must be really glad Eric flew all the way here from L.A.? What are you guys doing?”

The same expression on your face that resembled gray clouds. “We’re just hanging out.”

Okay…

“So how long have you been dating?”

You gasped. “Wait you thought—”

I’m embarrassed for embarrassing you. “You’re not—?!”

“Eric’s a friend.” You frowned, looking down at the ground. You didn’t meet my eyes for a long time. “You thought we were dating? And you were happy about it?”

I don’t understand why you’d be upset that I’m happy for you… I didn’t say that, though. I just shrugged. “Sorry, it’s just—you two looked really close, and when you introduced him—”

“And you were happy I’m taken?” you shrugged my hand off you, and I didn’t put it on your shoulder a second time. “Anyway. We’ll take pictures good enough to get into Chanhee’s collection, alright?”

“I think we should make you the subject,” I told you. “You’re the prettiest thing anyone can photograph…” I trailed off. I wished I hadn’t said that, and anyway you barely heard me.

But you did hear me, though. You barked out a horrible laugh. “I guess now that you know I’m single, you can flirt all you want, huh?”

I tried to defend myself: “I wasn’t flirting, I was just saying you’re—”

You didn’t listen to me, you were playing with your camera.

You were in a good mood, up until lunch time. I sat with the photography club, and you mindlessly followed me there with your tray. The usual gossip ensued, but I wasn’t paying attention to it, I was just looking over at you. If you were eating well.

Sakura mentions my name and I suddenly get sucked back to reality. “So, Haknyeon and Sohyun are a thing now, right?”

“Holding hands~” Donghyuck teases, “there’s a photo of you two in the campus couples’ instagram.”

“Congratulations, you two…”

I looked away, unable to take the attention, and across from me Sohyun smiled. “Thanks, you guys…”

“Haknyeon and Sohyun?” I’ve never heard your voice so small, it made me cock my head to the side to watch you speak. You’re standing with your back turned to me. “They’re dating?”

“Holding hands,” says Rachel.

“Ah, Y/N’s sad~ She likes Haknyeon,” someone says.

You glared at Sohyun. “You think I don’t see right through you?” you hissed at her, and then you stood up, with a tray of half-eaten food, and walked off. I should have tried to stop you, because you never eat well, but Sohyun tried to talk to me now, and I can’t just shrug her off, we’re sort of an item now. I tried to text you, though, and you didn't reply. I’m still waiting on the text about the project.

Which brings me to my next recount: I don’t know what’s with it, but, like, Eric was kind of aggressive towards me when I saw him at the parking lot today. He bumped into my shoulder, actually rather harshly, and went: “next time think about what you’re doing.” What does he mean? I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, per se, at least to him…?

Anyway, I’m still waiting on your text. I’m thinking, I’ll really have you read all these letters, just so you can understand me better. I don’t like it when we fight.

Anyway, I’m sorry. If you’re in a bad mood you can come to me, though. :)

Your Haknyeon

Dear Y/N,

This is a joke. I might never forget this conversation, it’s riding my mind and I can’t—

Y/n, you’re lying, there’s no way that

This is killing me.

When you met me today you’re actually in a good mood. You don’t even always dress like this… colorful, like spring flowers. You look pretty.

Words just flow and flow out of you, and sometimes you’d ask me about Sohyun.

(“Did you go on a date with her?” “Yeah” *snort* “That’s great.”)

I asked you why you didn’t bring your camera, and you shrugged. “It was actually Eric’s. I don’t actually own a camera—I don’t like taking photos.”

“But the club—?”

“Listen,” you said, “I might have learned the basics on lighting and angles, but I have no interest in photography and my gallery on my phone is all empty—I don’t even have an instagram.”

“I don’t have insta either—Wait, you don’t like photos?” I asked. “Then why did you—come here? This far? Join the club?”

“You were in line,” you say. “In front of me. I saw you, so I… signed up right after you.”

“What?”

“I like you.”

I made a noise that’s somewhere between a gasp and a cry. I don’t ask ‘what’ again, even though we both know that’s what I’m thinking.

“Haknyeon,” you say, “no matter how anti-social everybody else in the world thinks I am, I still try to be your friend, don’t I? I’m the one making the first move everywhere with you—I ask you to sit next to me on the bus, I invite you to parties myself, I asked you to be my project partner.”

“Y-yeah,” I say slowly, camera dropping to hang on my neck heavily. Nervous, so I’m playing with my hands. “Um… why do you do that?”

“Because I like you,” you insist. I’m dumbfounded, but you look angry that I’m dumbfounded and don’t believe you.

“You like me?” I probe, “After you’ve seen me in the snow—after you saw me like that, all… hurt…”

“I've liked you since then,” you say. “Actually, even before that. Before we even met in the snow. I always knew who you were, and liked you.”

I just gawk wordlessly until it makes you roll your eyes.

“Well,” you say, sighing, “you have a girlfriend, so I’m confessing. I know nothing will come out of it.”

“You don’t know,” I said suddenly, before I could stop myself.

“Don’t know what?”

“My pain. You don’t know how bad it is, how painful it was, so… you can’t like me. Because you don’t know me.”

You scoffed. “Yeah. I guess. I don’t know anything, huh.”

But I was wrong, Y/N, which I just decided I am, after I’m in bed thinking about today. I was wrong. I mean, there’s no way you like me, maybe you’re confused—a 5-year-old confusion. But I was wrong to assume you had no pain in your life. The way you glared at me when I said it just says it all. I was wrong to say that… But I guess now I can't take what I said back.

From,

Hak

Dear Y/N,

I have a feeling I might need to talk to you instead of writing letters I’ll never send. Maybe this will be the last one.

I just needed to talk to you about Sohyun.

We’re not dating anymore. I don't know what you'll think, it’s not like you were betting on us failing, but… well, nothing could keep us together! Not when Sohyun only wanted me to one-up you, anyway—and, yes, I knew it all along. I just pretended to be an idiot for a bit. I thought…

Nevermind what I thought.

What were you thinking?

Sohyun and I met at the school cafe after dark. She was angry, and I swear something was off, and one of her acrylic nails was broken. She was fuming when she stormed towards me, it was almost scary. “I’m going to fucking kill Y/N L/n!”

I’m always a little guarded for you, so I ask what happened.

“She attacked me,” Sohyun insisted. “She yelled at me—oh, I am writing this on the college forum, let everybody know what a fucking freak that girl is—she gets everywhere because her family’s famous, she’s arrogant, you know—”

“What did you do?” I asked out of the blue, just because I wanted to know, but she changed her entire demeanor at me, like a bird with ruffled feathers. A fight.

“What?” she spoke with narrowed eyes (that was about the time I realized I fucked up), “What does it matter what I did? She came over to my table and yelled insults at me.”

“What did you do that made her mad?” I asked. It might have been the most engaged I’ve ever been in any conversation with Sohyun, and it pains me to admit it’s about you.

“I’m dating you, if someone attacks me this way, you’re supposed to protect me,” Sohyun says adamantly, wringing her wrists everywhere. I think she might be madder at me than at you. “What kind of boyfriend—do you know what I go through trying to support you, walking on eggshells about those ugly fucking scars all over you, everyone thinks I’m a saint, so you should also—”

“Okay,” I say.

“I’m just saying, I do it out of the goodness of my heart, Haknyeon. Not just being your friend, but also trying to be your girlfriend.”

“Well you don’t have to be either.”

She gasps. “I am not getting dumped by a—” She hurled insults at me, one after another, that I was barely even sorry for her anymore. At the end of it, I smiled. My first real smile in a while.

“Dump me, then. Whatever you feel fits. I’m going home.” It was the most damage I could do, with my character. Somebody else would have hurt her more. I slinged my bag over my shoulder, and walked out on her.

I think I might need to give up on the Photography Club. I made an enemy out of the vice president, after all. It’s funny, it genuinely brought me joy, but I don’t feel bad when I think about leaving.

Because you don’t like it there, either.

—Your Hak

You’re sitting on a bench outside of the dorms, even though you don’t live there. It wasn’t the first time. You know Haknyeon’s window has to be somewhere in the visible lighted up windows, and sometimes you walk by, just to see if it’s still lighted up, or if it’s off, he’s sleeping, or sitting in the dark. As creepy as that is. You’ve always been curious about him, ever since high school. After that day in the snow, you threatened his bullies. You had to move away to America after that, but you made Younghoon keep an eye on them, never hurt a hair on Haknyeon’s head ever again.

You liked him for so long, and you hoped, if you ever did meet again, you’d at least have the courage to say hi. But it really happened, and the first night you saw him again, you couldn’t gather the courage. Instead you talked to Chanhee, and everybody else, just anyone but him. You couldn’t gather the strength.

You only loved him in the only way you knew how: protecting him. Telling people off when they used him as a gossip tool. When Sohyun used him… you fought back. That’s how you ended up here, in front of his dorms, with a swollen eyelid.

It’s necessary to mention you’ve never been in a fight before.

“What are you doing here?”

That’s Haknyeon deep voice, which you recognized immediately. With a sigh, you turn around.

“It’s not so I can see you, trust me.”

Back to his withdrawn character, he balances himself on his heels, mumbling, “why fight?”

“I think you mean ‘why did you fight’?” He kept staring at the ground. “Your taste is girlfriends is horrible…” You tutted. But your eye was hurting. “Do you have an ice pack or something? My eye really hurts.” Which was half truth but half just wanting to spend time with him.

Haknyeon takes you to a convenience store in the corner of the building block, and basically nurses you, carefully pressing the ice pack to your eye.

“How could her nail just scratch you?”

“Ow,” you say, “be gentle.”

“By the way, you’re really bad at fighting.”

“I literally fought her for y—” you stop yourself. “I mean. I just… she’s annoying.”

“I never realized.”

“Yeah, your perfect little girlfriend, huh?” you scoffed.

Haknyeon smiled like he had a secret, as he hummed, pressing the pack to your eye. “It must really hurt…”

“I think you’re been in more pain than me.” It just slipped out of your mouth, so you backpedal. “I mean… fuck, what’s wrong with me?”

“So you do remember everything,” he concluded.

“I don’t forget anything about you, actually. Not since the day we met—but meeting you here was an accident, I thought I’d have to search through facebook or insta to get your contact back again.”

“Well, I don’t use instagram so you’re lucky we met here…” Haknyeon smiled, expression warm and the ice pack on your face lessening the swelling. “Do you really mean it, that you’ve liked me since high school?”

“Every day since I met you. It’s love at first sight.”

“You don’t look like the type to believe in it, funnily.” He looks up at you, grinning. He’s never looked at you this way before—his eyes had some wonder in them. Like the space between stars, dark under the streetlight shade. “I don’t have a girlfriend, if you were wondering.”

Doubtfully, you quirk an eyebrow at him. “For real?”

“I decided ice princesses are better than universal-nice girls.” Haknyeon grinned at you. “I’m not… I’m not saying I need an answer straight away, though. It’s fine if you’ve changed your mind—”

“Haknyeon,” you say, “I made up my mind 5 years ago, when I saw you in the snow.” You reach over and swipe at the hair on his forehead, just like you wiped the blood back then. “Is this okay?” you ask, inching closer towards him.

“It’s okay.” His eyes closed, as if he’s trying to feel the moment with every cell in his body, and you take the opportunity to kiss him, closed eyelids and soft lips.

When you pull away, you swear you’ve never seen Haknyeon so smiley. Which makes you gloat. “Let’s see Sohyun top that,” you hissed under your breath. Ha! You kissed your crush of 5 years.

And you would keep kissing him… and kissing him and kissing him. And he never pulls away from you, no matter how cold, annoying, or mean you get. Sometimes all three of it at once.

“You’re dating Juhaknyeon,” Donghyuck gushes. “I mean, I knew you liked him, but what’s all that with Eric, and Sohyun—”

“We’ve known each other for a long time,” you answered, “ever since freshman year of high school.” And you don’t hold his hand but you look over at him, into his sparkling eyes.

“Wow,” says Donghyuck. “First love?”

“Wow,” says Chanhee, with more emphasis. “Our first photography club couple!”

Haknyeon’s slowly starting to wear short sleeves, now. Soon it’ll be spring, and you can see the cherry blossoms, in the warm weather… and he’ll take off his jacket for once. Scars do heal and fade, and after you’ve kissed his, he swears, they’re fading out more quickly than ever. Not that you needed them to fade: you loved him for the scars, not despite, and you like him, just like this.

For Chanhee’s project, Haknyeon submits just one entry: you, in the snow, wearing almost the same outfit when he met you. This time, the snow remains white, pure. He’s not bleeding anymore.

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