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spacefinch · 1 year

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Pokemon Incorrect Quotes: Unova Edition

Hugh: *handing out smiley balloons* I have no soul. Have a nice day!

Colress: I don't have one either.

Drayden: Let me see what you have!

Iris: A knife!

Drayden: NO!

Cilan: Fun fact! Blueberries are the only fruit named after a color.

Iris: Star fruit?

Cilan: ♥️ So close! That is a shape ♥️

Colresss: Welcome to physics!

*science project explodes*

*screaming*

Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE 🎶

Hilbert: *banging pots and pans*

Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, WILL YOU TELL US THAT YOU’RE OKAY 🎶

Teacher: Uh, Cheren, can you read number 23 for the class, please?

Cheren: No, I cannot. What up, I’m Cheren, I’m 19, and I never fricking learned how to read.

Chili: Hi, welcome to Chili's.

Elesa: Hey, I’m lesbian.

Emmet: I thought you were Unovan.

Clay: I wanna be a cowboy, baby!

Alder: Hell yeah!

Clay: I wanna be a cowboy, baby!

Hilbert: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Cheren: Why are you guys reblogging this in December?

Hilda: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Rosa: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Cheren: It is February, you ANIMALS

Nate: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Emmet: "Average person eats 8 spiders a year" factoid, actually statistical error. Average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave and eats over 10,000 every day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

Chili: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.

Cress: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Ingo: Perhaps it is the context in which words are spoken that gives them the power of meaning. *yelling* I LOVE YOU, JOLTIK!

Emmet, banging on pots and pans: I DON'T GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF YOU! Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF ME!

Hilda: Would you like something to drink? *opens fridge* We have water, milk, juice, Joltiks, Dr. Pepper…

Cheren: Joltiks?

Hilda: Joltiks it is, then.

Cheren: Wait, that’s not what I meant—

But she was already pouring him a brimming glass of Joltiks.

Ingo and Emmet: *in the middle of an intense Pokemon battle*

Hilbert: Can I get a waffle? Can I PLEASE get a waffle?

After said battle:

Hilbert, pointing at the losing Pokemon: He need some milk

Ingo: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!

Rosa (pointing at a flock of Swanna): Look at all those chickens!

Ingo: *filming in selfie mode*

Emmet: (in background) Bop it! Twist it! Pull it!

Colress (grinning): I'M GOING TO JAIL!

Cheren: Tumblr is just talking to yourself but with an audience.

Cilan: That’s called a soliloquy.

Cheren: Found the theater kid. Get em boys.

Iris: Hey OP, how do we know you’re not a theater kid?

Cheren: I’M AN ENGLISH LIT MAJOR, YOUR HONOR

Cilan: Eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. Your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer.

Chili: Fork

Cilan: Oh, yeah, I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, jester, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin.

Cress: Um, you seem to forget that ‘chips’ can also mean fries. And that’s probably what he was talking about, haha

Cilan: I did not forget anything. I purposely ignore the idea of using British vocabulary to do my part in helping it die out.

Cilan: KNOWLEDGE is knowing that a tomato is technically a fruit.

Cress: WISDOM is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Chili: PHILOSOPHY is wondering if a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?

Cheren: COMMON SENSE is knowing that ketchup isn't a smoothie.

Ingo: I went to the store and bought Quick Oats. The next day, my brother came back with Instant Oats. I will not be humiliated like this. I must now find an even sooner oat.

Hilbert: I hope nobody is evil

Ghetsis: >:)

Hilbert: Oh no

Elesa: Don’t post your negativity on a positive post.

Volkner: Electrons

Elesa: I should kick your ass.

Cilan: Being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also the horrors.

Cheren: People who say ‘oof’ and people who say ‘bruh’ contribute nothing to a conversation.

Nate: OOF

Hilbert: BRUH

Ingo: Early to bed, early to rise, Burger King burger with Burger King fries

Skyla: Later to rise, later to bed, Burger King burger on Burger King bread

Elesa: Eat at morning, eat at night, I participate in a Burger King fight

Emmet: I slap my knees, I slap my thighs, tonight is the night that Burger King dies

Cheren: I currently have seven empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them.

Cilan: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you.

Bianca: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you two.

Nate: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Roxie: *playing guitar*

*suspicious crashing noises in distance*

Roxie: *plays guitar louder*

Hilbert: Big mood.

Emmet: What does that mean?

Hilbert: Well… it means, me too, I guess.

*the next day*

Ingo: I'm worried about Team Rocket using our subway system.

Emmet: Big mood, brother. Big mood.

Ingo: HILBERT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Hilbert: Z is just a sideways N

N: Please stop it

Hilbert: Zo

Elesa: I can't find my earbuds and Target is closed. This is a nightmare.

Burgh: Put a Durant in each ear and they will sing to you.

Elesa: Not a half-bad idea actually.

Emmet: I go to Home Depot

Emmet: I eat the tools

Ingo: Stop it

Emmet: Crumch

Roxie: Is it cheating to teach Toxic to every member of my Pokemon team?

Elesa: Not at all, I'd love to hear them sing it.

Clay: None of y’all know what propaganda actually is, do you?

Hilda: It’s when a British person takes a good look at something.

Elesa: What are you guys going to be for Halloween?

Ingo: Sad

Burgh: Gay

Skyla: Sexy

Emmet: Goblin

Ingo: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds

Emmet: My arms are strong, I would catch you and hug you

Clay: Children, this is dirt.

Nate, Rosa, and Hugh: dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt?

Hilda: Shoutout to all the people who started saying “same” as a joke once in a while but now use it for the most random things like a car honking their horn at another car.

Cheren: Yesterday a book fell off my desk but instead of picking it up, I just looked at it for a second and said “same”

Hilbert: LOL same

Bianca: Why are we like this?

Cheren: Is there anything better than pussy?

Cheren: Yes, a really good book

Cheren: *plays the keyboard*

Hilbert: Who’s the hottest Uber driver you’ve ever had?

N: Ummm… I never went to Oovoo Javer.

*HAS NEVER WENT TO OOVOO JAVER*

Looker: Where’s the best place to buy fireworks?

Hugh: Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?

Looker: Where are your parents? Kid’s sketchy, back to you.

Emmet: *screams into jar and then screws on the lid* Everything’s fine.

Cilan: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?

Nate: Microwave for 40 minutes

Cilan: Why were you microwaving a lemon??

Nate: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges), but I didn’t own any pots.

Cilan: Did you burn an orange too? How??

Nate: Microwave for 40 minutes

Classroom: *silence*

One of the students: turgle turgle

Cheren: WHO TURGLED

Hilda: Hey everyone, today my brother pushed me, so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. Benefits of killing him would be that I get pushed way less—

Cheren: I get that you're angry, but killing Hilbert is not the solution.

Hilbert: When will Ted himself finally show up to the talk?

Bianca: The final boss

Cheren: Guys, you do realize that TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design, right?

Hilda: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer.

Cheren: I love the word methinks. It’s accurate. Me does think. Thinketh me do.

Hilbert: Methinks therefore me am.

Nate (bragging.): I know every digit of pi.

Nate: I don't know what order.

N: He doesn't know what order.

"Hey besties friendly reminder to drink water, feed your lab Rattata, turn off your evil nuclear generator, change out of your dirty lab coat, go for a walk, and take care of yourself!"

“@evilscientist13”

“COLRESS WAKE UP”

“@evilscientist13”

“COLRESS THE REACTOR”

(during a game of Uno)

Ingo: Brother, please, no.

Emmet: I’m sorry. I have to.

Ingo: Please, I’m begging you, after all we’ve been through?

Emmet: I’m sorry. [places a draw 4 card] Uno.

N: Any questions before I move on?

Porygon: *garbled electric noises*

N: ... Great. I really understood that well.

Elesa: This is camp.

Ingo: What does camp mean?

Emmet: Like when something is so yass and slay

Emmet: Do you think Joltiks take fall damage?

Ingo: Emmet, what the heck?

*at Drayden’s home in Opelucid City*

The Pokemon streaming service profiles read as follows:

Drayden: “Person who pays for the account”

Iris: “Granddaughter (Free pass)”

Ingo: “Parasite 1”

Emmet: “Parasite 2”

Cheren: How long does someone have to be dead before it's considered archaeology and not grave robbing?

Lenora: As an archaeologist, I find this a VERY AWKWARD QUESTION.

Cheren: Answer the question, grave robber.

Elesa: Carpe diem— seize the day

Skyla: Carpe noctem— seize the night

Emmet: Carpe natem— seize the ass

Ingo: Seriously, if you guys don't stop reblogging this, I am going to carpe someone's neck and break it.

Grimsley: Carpe collum— seize the neck

Cheren: Not all math puns are bad.

Cheren: Just sum of them.

Roxie: There is so much panic right now and not nearly enough disco.

Elesa: Where do bad rainbows go?

Skyla: …

Elesa: Prism. It's a light sentence.

Skyla: *groan*

Hilda: If you don't know the difference between "their," "they're", and "there", your a idiot.

Cheren: Well, this is awkward.

Hilbert: I was born ready!

Hilda: You were born in Nuvema Town.

Hilbert: When I was your age… (tells Hilda something he did a few minutes ago)

Nate: A theif

Cheren: Thief?

Nate: Theif

Cheren: I before e, except after c

Nate: Thceif

Cheren: No

Hilda: (singing) A potato flew around my room before you came—

Hilda, Hilbert, Cheren, and Bianca: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Hilbert: I'm nuts about these nuts. But you know what I'm also nuts about? My close good friends!

Hilbert: *gestures to Hilda, Cheren, Bianca, Nata, Rosa, Hugh, and N* My close good friends!

Ghetsis: Remember one time I liked you?

N: No.

Ghetsis: Good, because IT NEVER HAPPENED! *evil laugh*

Cilan: Would anyone like some stew? Would anyone like some stew? Would anyone like some stew?

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clicheantagonist · 19 days

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15 Lines Of Dialog

Thankies @aceghosts and @adelaidedrubman the tag! 😘

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well! (Y'all know I can't do that.)

Some of my favorite Alex lines:

“Is that why you hate him? ‘Cause he cockblocked you?” - Alex @ Wesker, joking about Chris in Little Tyrants

“What’s your name? Who’s your daddy? Is he rich like me?” - Alex playfully serenading Jake (yeah, Wesker's son Jake, that one) in AU: Something About Infinite Cycles (unposted as of right now) Yes, she knows.

“Listen. One does not say ‘no’ to getting to do a Scarface in the coke. When was I gonna have that opportunity again?” - Alex telling Kit about a very damning photo of herself Wesker keeps on his desk in their untitled fic (The Unholy Throuple Universe)

“Boy went to law school and still isn’t smarter than my drop-out, yee-haw ass." - Alex talking to herself (judging John's lack of foresight) during the Reaping in Drown Me And Call It A Baptism.

“Um…this is…exactly what it looks like.” - Alex's response to Wesker catching her sparking up a joint after-hours. In a Holiday companion oneshot to Little Tyrants that explains their first hook up (during the S.T.A.R.S. days) and the circumstances surrounding it.

“I’ve been making and breaking monsters for twenty years – what makes you so special?” - Alex being a [playful, I promise] smartass in response to a comment Butcher makes about being a monster, in my still Untitled The Boys AU (I'm having so much fun there. I get the hype. It's awesome.) “Aw, c’mon! Something got loose after they got my ass?!” - Hearing Wesker tearing through bodies at a black site she's been caught and detained in. I posted this as a WiP here.

“I’ll kill him. I better not ever find out if he sticks his dick in that bitch.” - speaking (bitching) to Alex Wesker about Excella's proximity to Albert in a scene from Little Tyrants.

“If – allegedly - I’m willing to eat my own, imagine what I could do to you?” - a joke/threat regarding her nickname, in response to being questioned by Feds (derogatory) about her presence in Russia during the Caucasus outbreak of 2003 (Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles) in Little Tyrants.

“Ya think it was God’s grace that kept you fuckin do-gooders alive all these years? It was me. I spared you. D’you know how many opportunities I had to bring your heads home as trophies? You show some fuckin respect.” - In her Rick Sanchez era when she snaps during the events of RE5 in Little Tyrants, properly encountering Chris and Marshall again after betraying the cause. Wesker is very proud in this moment.

“I need to know I have a place. That I won’t be another dying star. Like Excella. Marcus. Sergei. Birkin. All the others that worked with you who thought they were too big to fall.” - trying to express her fears regarding Wesker's obsession with his New World Order (RE5) + past history with partners - she's not so much worried for the world, she's worried about them. (Priorities, girl.) I love this line because it's such a good example of how she doesn't shy away from dangerous topics; and she's willing to name his previous partners to impress upon him she knows she has good reason to worry. From Little Tyrants.

“Couldn’t trust you with no dirt. Retrieving your virus gave me leverage, and that made me more comfortable." - During her affair with Neil Fisher (Resident Evil Revelations 2); she's telling him very directly who she is and how she operates in explaining why she gave him a chance. I posted this as a scrapped WiP here

“I had to level the playing field. I’m a sore loser.” - to Butcher, regarding a life-altering decision she makes in near total secret. He asks why, and this is how she says: "cause my ego can't take anyone, even a Supe, kicking my ass and getting away with it." They really do mirror each other in ways I hadn't realized till just now. I swear I'll post some of this when I figure out where it's going/how long I expect to be invested. From the as of now Untitled The Boys AU

'Oh, I'm doin' a big stupid. The Lord God himself could come down and be like 'No, bitch' and I'd pretend I didn't hear him.' - Alex's inner monolog the night she and John start hooking up in Drown Me And Call It A Baptism. I didn't give her inner voice enough recognition here, but I should of. I love her running inner commentary.

Tagging, If y'all wanna (ignore me if you have): @socially-awkward-skeleton @josephslittledeputy @shallow-gravy @carlosoliveiraa @i-am-the-balancing-point and whoever else may want to.

#writing memes #tag games #original character stuff #my writing #little tyrants #au: in the company of monsters #ship: im starving darling #ship: the unholy throuple #drown me and call it a baptism #au: something about infinite cycles #ship: i love you like an alcoholic #otp: faith healers #mary post #this was hella fun! i loved picking lines and going through everything #alexandra shepherd #ship: beautiful thieves #au: feel good drag

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dean-a-mean-tae · 4 months

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100 Followers Event

CLOSED

In celebration of getting 100+ followers, I decided to do this little event. Thank you, my gorgeous loves, for all the love and support! I hope you guys enjoy this.

ASKs

*.·:·Rules.·:·.*

Event last until December 30th

You can request any Stray Kids member

I have no limit on how many characters you choose

You can choose any AU

I'll try to do drabbles with at least 300 words

Regular guidelines apply as well

Prompts can be reused

Specify who you want saying what

"Nicholas says the bold stuff and you can let whoever say the rest" or, "Hyunjin say italics and Nicholas say bold and Minho say the normal stuff"

Or you can give me free range and I'll make whoever say the prompts

*.·:·AUs.·:·.*

Soulmates

Hybrids

Vampire

Werewolf

Soft Yandere

Hero/Villian AU

Grumpy x Sunshine

Royalty

Demon or Angel

*.·:·Genres.·:·.*

Fluff

Crack

Hurt/Comfort

Horror (I might suck at this ;-;)

Platonic or Romantic

*.·:·Prompts.·:·.*

"Wait, don't go."

"Can I have a hug?" "You know you don't have to ask, right?"

"I'm not giving you anything!"

"Get your own!"

"I'm sorry." "No, you aren't."

"I'm sorry." "Not your fault."

"Don't look at them. Look at me. You're doing amazing."

"I'm proud of you." "I didn't do anything." "You're alive."

"Why are you so sleepy?"

"I'm gonna hang up so you can sleep." "No."

"You're so mean!" "I'm not, but I can show you mean."

"Are we ignoring the hole in the wall?"

"Your Highness-" "Stop calling me that." "What do I call you then?" "My name?" "...Your majesty?" "I'm gonna hit you with this book." (Can be a different title)

"Where do you think you're going?" "Away?" "Away where?" "To a faraway land-" "Answer the question." "I'm going to piss! Can I go to the bathroom?!"

"Guys?" "We aren't going that way!" "Guys?" "That way or back! Cause I'm not going with creepy old man. No offense." "Hello?" "Can we talk about this?" "Guys!" "What?!" "Don't yell! There's a man in the window." "No, there isn't." "They're not lying! He's right there!"

"Are we ignoring the massive claw marks?" "Ignorance is bliss."

"That's not what I had in mind, but I'll allow it 'cause it's funny."

"I know y'all heard that." "Nope." "We're choosing to ignore it." "Well, now we can't cause it's coming this way." "How can you say that so calmly?!"

"On a normal day, we would be eating a sugar night snack right now." "You guys eat human food?" "You don't?!" "You're missing out."

"This is why you don't lean over someone sleeping." "How the hell was I supposed to know he would break my nose?!"

Thank you again, my gorgeous loves!

#deantae updates #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz x male reader #stray kids x male reader #skz imagines #skz x 9th member #stray kids imagines #yang jeongin x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #lee minho x reader #lee felix x reader #bang chan x reader #kim seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #hyunjin x reader #han jisung x reader #seo changbin x reader

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okmissgirl · 10 months

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Absolutely Normal Nonsense

HEHE I'm still alive and this some real nonsense y'all 💀

Also happens to fulfill the Future catagory for HellCheer Aniversary Week day 4.

<- Last Nonsense

——————————————————————————————————

🥜 Sweet Nothings (and sour somethings) 🥒

To you I can admit

That I’m just too soft for all of it

“You gotta try it with peanut butter.”

“I — what?”

“Take your spoon, scoop some of it up—”

“Is this—?”

“Nuh-uh, you have to get a lot more. Like a heaping scoop. Here, let me—”

“Sweetheart, I know the logistics of it, I can… okay that’s — Chrissy that’s just straight up peanut butter.”

“But it tastes good! Especially when you spread a bunch on top of the pickle and the juice is still there, ugh, the contrast is phenomenal… I feel like I’ve ascended or something.”

“Ascended? Peanut butter and pickles is a religious experience for you?”

“Yes and I am a staunch believer and no sacrilege will be permitted in my house, so here comes the um, starfighter airplane jet thing… and…”

“Wha— don’t just! Baby, I am agnostic at best—”

“And you will see the light and be compelled if you would only open wide—”

“Ok princess, first, before I poison myself, how did you go from oreo and peanut butter cookies to this?”

“...put it in your mouth first.”

“Wh— I am not—”

“Please? Pretty please? For me?”

“Oh baby doll, you’re so sweet. No.”

“But—”

“No ma’am.”

“Ed-die!”

“Chris-sy!”

“Give it a chance, the flavors, the textures — look at me baby, would I ever steer you wrong?”

“...”

“Eddie!”

“Sorry, but I am very sure you would, case in point, I can’t even see the beaten path right now—”

“Oh boo, where’s your sense of adventure? Where’s the man I fell madly in love with who used to do those disgusting beer kegs in college and use the same towel every week for months?”

“Jesus Christ, woman — that dumbass is dead. Hallelujah.”

“But I want him back! Just for tonight? C’mon sweetie, one lick.”

“Oh my god.”

“I’ll eat the rest?”

“And you’ll tell me who put you up to this? I brought that jar yesterday — there are only three pickles left mamacita — I know you’ve been going to town on these all day. That acid reflux is gonna be righteous tonight.”

“I promise it’s 8/10 worth the heartburn — that’s how good they are! … And I was bored, so…”

“Bored?”

“Eh okay well, not completely, but that’s besides the point! Try it? Please?”

“Ughhh, fine, fine…”

“Really?! Aw, Eddie—!”

“Hmm, since you asked so nicely… bottoms up, I guess…”

“Hehe, enjoy…”

“...”

“...and?”

“Uh, cool your jets — I gotta analyze the flavor, the texture and all that shit…”

“Oh… well, hurry up!”

“My word, where is your patience, Christine? Hmm, I guess… it’s um… huh.”

“Huh?”

“...s’not bad.”

“Not bad? So that means… you like it?”

“I do not hate it.”

“You love it!”

“It’s palatable, princess.”

“See!! Oh my gosh, I told you! I told you, it’s the fucking contrast — like peanut butter and jelly!”

“Uh, strong comparison, but I get what you’re saying. Now, who rummaged through our cupboards and got pickle juice all up in the peanut butter jar? ‘Cause I know it wasn’t you — that’s something you’d get mad at me for.”

“Well… Robin came over…”

“Of course. Of course — you know, I walked into that one. Like in the back of my mind I thought “Eddie, what if it’s Bucklely who’s eating all your shit?” and at the time I didn’t wanna believe it but, tsk… should’ve known.”

“What! How could you say that? Robin’s so much fun!”

“Yeah, until she starts packing our food in tupperware boxes and taking it to her place.”

“She does not do that.”

“I’ve seen it with my own two eyes, Missus Munson.”

“Edward Munson! You know how boring it is, staying at home 24/7?! All I ever do is fold, wash, and dry all the clothes we brought and then dig out some more for tomorrow to fold again and then I eat and watch reruns of Seinfeld. I try to cook but then my feet hurt. I try to drive to the grocery store but no, I can’t get behind the freaking wheel! I want to practice the stretches we learned in class so I put on exercise videos but I can’t even follow along with them! I sit there like a beached whale! There’s no one to call and everyone’s at work except me! There’s nothing to do, I’m slowly going out of my mind and, and… you know what, give me that—”

“What are you — hey! I was gonna—”

“NO! You don’t deserve a peanut butter pickle! Shame on you, making fun of me like that when Robin was so kind to come over and watch a movie with me, help make cookies, and introduce both of us to this delicious delicacy. You should be thankful!”

“Aw Chris, I am thankful; just didn’t know you had it so rough baby—”

“Ey! Get away, you! Don’t try to kiss me! I’ll stick this glob of peanut butter in your hair—”

“No you won’t.”

“I will.”

“Uh, okay… I’ll just eat it off, but sure. “

“Eddie!”

“Okay, okay pretty girl — I’m thankful that Buckley broke into our house so you could have some adventure for the day—”

“— I mean, you told her where the house key is buried, so that’s kinda on you—

“However, I’m at your beck and call whenever you need me.”

“... I guess.”

“You guess?”

“I dunno, Munson. The way you look at those campaign sheets sometimes… kinda has me worried, is all…”

“Perish the thought, fair maiden! For I find you tantalizing, bewitching — the object of many a man’s desire but alas, you are mine, Christine, and I’ll fall upon my own sword if there ever is a day I find myself blind to such godlike beauty…”

“... hmm…”

“Hmm? Too much?”

“No… I never said that… “

“Then pray tell… hmm, what? Is it a secret? Would you whisper in my ear? Don’t be afraid, you can tell me…”

“No, no secrets here.”

“Oh…? “

“I do have a question though.”

“And I await with bated breath to hear it.”

“.... you fancy me a goddess, good sir?”

“Of course I... yes.”

“Am I to believe I am just a simple spirit you found looking into the glade?”

“N-no, never you are not just any goddess. You are more brilliant than Aphrodite herself.”

“You swear?”

“On my life…”

“...”

“... Chris—”

“Alright, help me get down from here.”

“Oh! Uh, sure, but why do you—”

“Honestly, my ass is getting numb and I didn’t really think this through once I actually got up here so…”

“Well, can’t have a sore ass on my watch, sweetheart — just lift your—”

“I’m heavier than before okay, so be careful with you back and don’t—”

“Pfft, babycakes you weigh 30 pounds soaking wet as we speak… there we go. Hmm.. I kinda like it, actually.”

“Like what?”

“You know…”

“I don’t, actually.”

“Well… I’ve been meaning to ask… is my queen gonna claim her throne tonight?”

“... Eddie—”

“I’ve been waiting. Thirsting. Praying fervently that I could show my fealty to you once more. So… please…I—”

“What… what if I’m… I’m not… too…”

“Never, never… ah… never, Christine…”

“Shi… I… okay.”

“Okay?”

“Please.”

Oftentimes, Eddie is struck by the fact that he gets to come home to Chrissy Munson née Cunningham everyday. To find his wife sitting on the kitchen counter, scooping peanut butter onto a pickle stick, so far removed from the hustle and bustle of his chaotic workday. But he guesses that’s natural.

He hopes the feeling lasts a lifetime.

*BONUS*

“fifty-eight one-thousand, fifty-nine one-thousand… and… okay… okay, that’s…”

“...Chrissy? Chris, what are you doing in the shower? Is everything okay…? Cause uh, I woke up and your side of the bed was like wet with… something. I didn’t smell it or anything but uhh… you can wake me up when stuff like that happens. I know it’s normal and I can help—”

“Eddie! You thought I wet the bed? I’m no child!”

“Well yeah, I know that… but you’re also—”

“I’m in labor. Well, I’m pretty sure I am, at least. My water broke in bed.”

“...what.”

“Yeah, I woke up and it was like, everywhere, and it kept dripping down my legs… kinda gross. I wanted to take a shower.”

“Wha… holy fuck, can you rewind to, uh, Jesus… um, are you really, seriously—”

“Yup, I think so. Can you help me get out of here please?”

“Uh, uh, okay, yeah, no problem I can — I can do that.”

“Great!”

“Shit… maybe we shouldn't have done so much last night?”

“No. We do a lot most nights. I don’t think that made a difference here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Honestly? I think it was the pickles.”

#hellcheer #eddie x chrissy #eddissy #eddie munson #chrissy cunningham #hellcheer anniversary week #first baby #oneyearofhellcheer #day four #should i start numbering these?#somebody let me know 👀

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scringleydingleydoo · 1 year

Text

i'm just saying if I was apart of the Harry Potter verse, shit would be different. I would ask the important questions.

"if the guys so dangerous why hasn't anyone tried shooting him yet?"

"hey, dont shit on the USA, people who lost the war aren't allowed to speak. I'm allowed to shit on it cause i'm from the United States bitch."

"I'm just saying, ive never seen someone get up after being shot in the head."

"Y'all ever wonder how big his wand is? Like i know hes evil and wants to kill us all, but do you think hes evil, wants to kill us all, and a virgin?"

"Cedric Diggory? More like Cedric-get-that-dick-in-ME-"

"Wait, our professor is a fucking WEREWOLF?! LIKE FROM TWILIGHT?!"

"No Ron, muggle pictures dont fucking move.....Wait if wizard pictures move does that mean-FRED GEORGE, PLEASE TELL ME THAT WIZARDS HAVE THEIR OWN VERSION OF PLAYBOY-"

"In my defense, the little bitch was being a racist prick and where i come from we beat up people who talk shit."

"Lockhart? more like LockSHART am i right?"

"That Luna girl is so weird and off putting, do we know if she's single?"

"For the last time Ron, no, Americans don't use bald eagles, we use owls same as you guys."

"That's Virginmort? Where's his nose?"

"So, do you think his nose was all he lost when he got revived or do you think that he lost....other things as well."

"I wonder if Voldemort ever gets diarrhea? Don't look at me like that, it's a serious question!"

"Hey, Ginny, is your friend Luna single? I wanna ask her to the Yule Ball thing!"

"Luna you are the weirdest girl I have ever met, it's amazing, will you go to the Yule Ball with me?"

"Dude Hermione looks good as hell, whoa. Ron's a fucking idiot."

"Luna, I wanted to ask if- ("Yes, I would like to date you Juni.") well alright then, glad we got that out of the way."

"Wait, so you guys were just gonna skip a year of school and go off on some grand ass adventure across the country and you DIDNT INVITE ME?!"

(The poly juice potion scene in the 7th book.) "Ewww, this guy has wadded up tissues in his pockets, what the hell!"

"Holybshit this is just like that movie flushed away, I cant believe i'm about to flush myself down a toilet-"

"Y'all have issues, not saying I don't, but i'm better than y'all."

"I had my parents send me a glock. Just in case."

"EVER HEARD THE PHRASE 'NEVER BRING A WAND TO A GUN FIGHT' BITCHS?! EAT MY FUCKING AMERICAN MADE LEAD-"

(7th book when The Golden Trio goes back to Hogwarts): "Omg Luna! You look even more off putting than you did the last time I saw you! Its amazing!"

"Yknow, if we had shot this Virginmort guy like I suggested, Harry wouldn't be dead right n-HOLY SHIT HE'S ALIVE?!"

"YEAH MRS.WEASLY YOU TELL THAT BITCH WHO BOSS!"

(after the battle): "Damn how y'all gonna get the funding to fix this shit?"

anyways tell me if y'all want more of this tomfoolery

#harry potter #luna lovegood #i had a crush on luna lovegood as a kid #hermione granger #ron weasley #draco malfoy #goblet of fire #order of the phoenix #harry potter incorrect quotes #the sorcerers stone #prisoner of azkaban #harry potter and the deathly hollows #chamber of secrets #halfbloodprince #harry potter memes #america #america BITCH #CAWCAW

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kacchania · 1 year

Text

(EM)

You all suck ass and suck glass

Like a fucking

Math lab

Gonna fuck you up,

Bitch,

Now it's last class

Cause you're all fucking daft

So I'ma mash that

And subtract that,

Like bitch,

This is Math class!

Eat a Kraft pack

Flash a dashed draft

Oops, we matched that!

(Actually, more like mathed)

Yo Mike, I dislike you

And I wanna strike you

And I wanna fight you

And I wanna Like you

(Ayo, that's kinda gay)

Yo bro,

Is it gay if you say

I beat off to dudes in anime

And I prey

On ya cock

And ya mom

(Chorus Mike)

Ayo Em,

That's kinda fem

You're a weird queer and maybe

You should just disappear

Before I hear

About your career

You got me fearing for my rear

Like, that fear is severe

That you'll appear

And be near

Maybe you shouldn't interfere

Yo, it's Em again!

Old friend,

You're offending and spending

So you can go and pretend that

You're feared and

That you're leery

And sceery

But really,

You're the joke

And I fucked ya hoe

And I fucked ya bro

Now bend over

So you can descend into

Me fucking your back end and

Then I'll apprehend you

And then you'll blend into amends

But by then

You'll be condemned

'Cause you said that we ain't friends

But last night

You was something different

Last night, you was a

Bitchin'

But of course,

In the end,

I'll fuck your bitch

Then your head

'Cause it'll be cut off

'Cause you didn't comprehend

That we are friends

But not any longer 'cause

You're dead

And I'm alive

And I'll be getting all this

Bread and head

From yo bitch

And yo sis

'Cause she shed her true skin

She a cocksucker

Just like your mom is

And your dog is

And your socks

(Em chorus)

I'll screw the socks off you,

So if you don't

Like it then,

You shouldn'ta screwed

Me in the first place

'Cause now, look who in third place

While I'm in third base

Fucking her ass straight

(Em final)

Damn, friend..

Coulda been avoided

If you kept ya mouth shut

Isn't that right, Glen?

Oh wait

She can't speak, and guess why?

(Mike)

All out, dogs out

So nigga

Watch who you talk to,

Man you is a bird

A pigeon at that

You white fuckin bitch,

Thinking you black?

Short midget,

Thinking he the shit and

He really not, he's just a

Pigeon

I'm tired of you white rappers

Infiltrating black slappers,

ya damn cracker!

'Cause really, you're just a Jasper!

A Casper who won't last long

And by tomorrow,

you'll be the one being

Forgotten

And lost and

I'll be the one fixing yo

Bitch in the back seat and

She gonna be real needy

Gonna need my seed in her

Yo, your bitch hit me up last week

Talking some "He don't fuck me!"

Man, you really is gay

How you think a gay white man

Is gonna make it as a rapper?

That's right

Yo ass is a gay cracker!

Looking up to trans lands

Bitch, you should be hit by a train

So that it could rain

With yo blood

And I could take yo lane!

(M FINAL)

This non nigga really thought

He could take me

Knowing that I

Fucked his bitch in HD 3D

All my fans love me

Meanwhile your fans are

dis-gust-tang!

(SNOOP DOG)

Yo,

Look at these niggas doing their

Bitching!

Not knowing that they're victims

Of a system

But I got wisdom!

Tryna warn these niggas

That they're being hitmen

Against each other

Like really nigga?

I thought you was better then that

Turns out, y'all just wack

And that's fact

All y'all do is cap

#eminem #fan song #pretend its eminem #fanfic

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motherofmabari · 1 year

Text

CHARACTER SONG MEMES TAG

Game Rules: Choose one of your characters and list songs that fit them.

tagged by @gvnseylike 🥰 thank you!

I went a lil ham, and this is edited from a longer list lol. These are, of course, all for my beloved Gemma Hawke.

The Weight - Amigo the Devil

I am the weight this town / Is never gonna lose / It's been awhile since I've held anything / As close I have you / They'll write about our story here / For years to come / Maybe even more / 'Cause there's never been a love like this before

Walk Me Home - Pink

Tryna stand up on my own two feet / This conversation ain't comin' easily / And darling, I know it's getting late / So what do you say we leave this place? / Walk me home in the dead of night / I can't be alone with all that's on my mind / So say you'll stay with me tonight / 'Cause there is so much wrong going on outside

We Can Build a Fire - Autoheart

Who in their right mind did you think you'd find / Standing behind you / your guardian angel? / Don't be ridiculous / man up / this is it / We can build a fire / I am not a liar

Trapped in a black case / dignity misplaced / How good is your poker face? / We're gonna need it / No more little boy / to survive / we destroy / We can build a fire / We can build a fire

Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation / I've never been afraid of any deviation / An' I don't really care if you think I'm strange / I ain't gonna change

Already Gone - Autoheart

If you're already gone / Can I have / Just one last / Moment to say / I love you / I understand / I do

It's the way you push your shoulders back / And puff your chest / As proud as a robin / It's the way you never back down from an argument / It's your God-given right to be right

Welcome to the Family - Avenged Sevenfold

Why won't you listen? / Can't help the people you're missing / It's been done, a casualty rerun / Welcome to the family

I try and help you with the things that can't be justified / I need to warn you that there is no way to rationalize / So have you figured it out now? / So have you figured it out? / You can't win this fight

Liability - Lorde

The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy / 'Til all of the tricks don't work anymore / And then they are bored of me / I know that it's exciting running through the night but / Every perfect summer's eating me alive / until you're gone

Confessional - Janet Devlin

Holy water on the tip of my tongue / There's so much sin for just 21 / Hear my penance and all I have done / This self destructive war I've won / I've come out from under / To die another day / And though the honesty hurts / The crying was worse / Now tell me I'll be saved

And I'm gonna tag @oxygenforthewicked, @becauseanders, @telumendils, and @nonbinarywardenamell, if y'all have time and desire to do it ofc, and anyone else who wants to! 🥰🥰🥰

#OC Song challenge #Gemma Hawke #amigo the devil #Pink #autoheart #joan jett #avenged sevenfold #Lorde #janet devlin #My girl is under a lot of pressure and suffers from extreme survivor's guilt #But she'll be damned before she backs down from a fight when someone needs her help

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sl-ut · 2 years

Text

brutal

CHAPTER FOUR

pairing: glenn rhee x reader, oc!alexander x reader (siblings), various x reader

description: jim can't stop digging, and he can't remember why until it's too late

warnings: graphic violence, death, swearing

words: 2.5K

date posted: 28/02/22

previous part | next part

Beyond the treeline, the group came upon Jim as he drove a spade into the dirt of the open field repeatedly, creating deep holes in the earth. Y/n watched him with furrowed brows as he ignored Shane's pleading for him to stop, or at the very least, take a break from his position in the direct sunlight. Next to her, Amy clutched at her arm as she watched the man work himself into a heavy sweat.

"Just give me a second here, please."

"What do you want?" Jim finally paused his labour, breathing heavily as he held eye contact with the Deputy in front of him.

"We're just concerned, that's all."

"Dale says you've been out here for hours." Morales called out from behind Shane.

"So?"

"So why are you digging? You headed to China, Jim?"

Under normal circumstances, Y/n may have snorted at the comment, though she had found herself becoming less susceptible to the effects of humour. She couldn't exactly decipher if it was due to the situation in general, or perhaps it was due to worry for her brother as he went off in search of Merle Dixon.

"What does it matter? I'm not hurting anyone."

"Yeah, except maybe yourself. It's a hundred degrees out here, you can't keep this up."

"Sure I can. Watch me."

"Jim, they're not gonna say it so I will. You're scaring people. You're scaring my son and Carol's daughter." Lori stepped forward.

"They got nothing to be scared of. I mean, what the hell, people? I'm out here by myself. Why don't you all just go and leave me the hell alone?"

"We think that you need to take a break, okay? Why don't you go and get yourself in the shade? Some food maybe. I'll tell you what... maybe in a little bit I'll come out here and help you myself. Jim, just tell me what it's about. Why don't you just go ahead and give me that shovel?" Shane negotiated.

"Or what?" Jim challenged.

"There is no 'or what'. I'm asking you. I'm coming to you and I'm asking you, please. I don't wanna have to take it from you."

"And if I don't, then what? Then you're gonna beat my face in like Ed Peletier, aren't you? Y'all seen his face, huh? What's left of it. See, now that's what happens when someone crosses you."

Carol visibly stiffened from her place next to Y/n. The teenager placed a meek hand on the woman's arm in comfort as she hugged her daughter to her chest.

"You weren't there," Amy defended Shane, "Ed was out of control, he was hurting his wife."

"That is their marriage," He roared, rage flooding his veins, "Not his, he is not judge and jury. Who voted you king boss, huh?"

"Jim, just give me the shovel. I'm not here to argue with you."

In a scuffle, Shane snatched the shovel and began to wrestle it from the man. Once it was out of Jim's grasp, Shane tossed it to the ground and forced Jim into the dirt, confining his movements.

"You got no right!" Jim chanted like a prayer, though he was visibly relaxing in Shane's grip, losing his fight by the second.

"Jim, Jim," Shane soothed, "Nobody's gonna hurt you. You hear me?"

Jim sobbed loudly at Shane's words, "That's a lie. That's the biggest lie there is. I told that to my wife and my two boys. I said it 100 times. It didn't matter. They came out of nowhere. There were dozens of 'em. Just pulled 'em right out of my hands.

Y/n closed her eyes at his choked words, reminded of the fact that others had not come out of the apocalypse quite as fortunate as her. Sure, her mom was in a different country, but there still stood a chance that she was still alive, and she had her brother to protect her in a world where she had no idea how to protect herself.

"You know, the only reason I got away was 'cause the dead were too busy eating my family."

***

The search and rescue party had been gone longer than anticipated. After dealing with Jim’s intense side effects of sunstroke, the camp had gone back to a relative sense of normal. Or as normal as they could be while they anxiously awaited the return of their fellow survivors. The longer they waited, the more unsettled that Y/n was rapidly becoming.

The day had come to a close, and the group was left to prepare themselves for nighttime. The bass that Andrea and Amy had managed to catch was roasted over the fire and served with a side of mushrooms. Y/n’s plate was empty within minutes of it being filled. It had been the biggest meal she had eaten in days, not to mention the tastiest. She had never been a very big fan of fish nor mushrooms, in fact they would never normally be a part of her diet, but she would consider anything to be better than a lukewarm can of kidney beans. She smirked, picturing how annoyed Alex would be that he was missing such a treat.

Despite the few who were missing and the drama that had ensued over the past two days, the remainder of the group seemed to be in fairly good morale. They swapped stories and jokes over the fire, retelling their lives before they had all come together under these… unprecedented circumstances. Y/n watched on quietly, occasionally laughing along when someone made a particularly funny comment.

“I’ve got to ask you something, man,” Morales chuckled, “It’s been driving me crazy.”

“What?” Dale tilted his head.

“That watch.”

“What’s wrong with my watch?”

“I see you every day, the same time, winding that thing like a village priest saying mass.”

“I’ve wondered this myself.” Jacqui mused.

“I’m missing the point.”

“Unless I’ve misread the signs, the world seems to have come to an end. Or at least hit a speed bump for a good, long while.” Jacqui explained.

“But there’s you, everyday, winding that stupid watch.” Morales finished.

“Time… it's important to keep track, isn't it? The days at least. Don't you think, Andrea? Back me up here.” Dale glanced at the blonde woman, who only shrugged to prompt him to continue, “I like… I like what, um, a father said to son when he gave him a watch that had been handed down through generations. He said, ‘I give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire, which will fit your individual needs no better than it did mine or my father's before me; I give it to you not that you may remember time, but that you may forget it for a moment now and then and not spend all of your breath trying to conquer it’.”

Y/n shared a look with Amy across the fire as silence overcame the congregation that had gathered around the bonfire, only broken by the crackling of the logs and Amy as she scoffed a laugh.

“You are so weird.”

The others broke into laughter, each sending a comforting smile Dale’s way as he leaned further into his lawn chair and threw his hands up in surrender. If it weren’t for the small smile that grew on his own face, Y/n may have mistaken his reaction for blatant annoyance, but Dale had certainly taken quite a liking to the Harrison sisters.

“Hey, where are you going?” Andrea turned to catch her younger sister as she stood and moved towards the RV.

Amy glared down at her with wide eyes, “I have to pee. Geez, you try to be discreet around here.”

“Oh,” Y/n set her plate on the ground in front of the firepit as she stood from her own seat, “I have to go too.”

Amy nodded, slowing her pace to wait for the younger girl to catch up. She glanced over her shoulder as they approached the camper, bumping her shoulder into Y/n’s with a smirk as they grew further away.

“So?”

Y/n furrowed her brows, “So, what?”

Amy groaned as she held the door open for Y/n, “So, how’s Glenn?”

Y/n sighed, “Do you ever get tired of talking about that?”

“Hmm, no, not really.” Amy shrugged, “Hey, the world ended. I’ll take whatever kind of drama I can get.”

“I wouldn’t call it drama.”

“So there is an ‘it’.” Amy pressed. “I knew it. You were both acting weird this morning before he left. So are you going to tell me, or do I have to torture it out of you?”

Y/n snorted, pulling out her best Russian accent, “I’ll never talk.”

Amy giggled, pushing Y/n’s shoulder as she sat at the table, motioning for Y/n to use the bathroom first, though she did not relent on the interrogation now that Y/n could not escape her questions. Y/n cursed herself for allowing Amy to trap her in the small bathroom.

“Did he profess his love for you?”

“No.”

“Did you profess your love for him?”

“I don’t love him, Amy.”

“Did you hook up?”

“Amy.”

“Sorry, sorry,” She laughed, feigning innocence, “So you just made out, then?”

Y/n’s lips parted, silent for only a moment before Amy’s shriek broke through the door.

“Oh my God, you made out with Glenn?”

Y/n forced the door open, an icy glare in her eyes as she stalked towards the older girl, “No, I did not make out with Glenn. We just, you know, kissed.”

Amy grinned widely at her, “I knew you two would get together. In a world of zombies, you two are definitely endgame. This is all just like a movie or something.”

The teenager shrugged, hugging herself tightly, “Amy, it was just a kiss. And I’m not even sure if I liked it that much, you know? I mean, he’s the only guy close to my age around here, what if I’m only feeling this way because he’s just there?”

“I mean, it’s definitely possible,” Amy pursed her lips, “Or, maybe you should just go for it? Realistically, we could all be dead by morning, so what’s the point in just beating around the bush?”

Amy stood to strut past Y/n, but halted in the doorway of the bathroom before turning back with a wild fury in her eyes, “You used all of the toilet paper?”

Y/n laughed as she shrugged, amazed at how quickly her emotions had shifted, “There was only one piece left!”

Amy scoffed as she moved to the door of the RV, “Yeah, real nice. I play therapist and you can’t even repay me by leaving the last bit of toilet paper for me?” She pushed the door open, calling to the others at the campfire, “We’re out of toilet paper?”

Y/n watched in slow motion at a dark claw grasped at Amy’s arm, a look of surprise crossing her features before a scream of terror ripped through her as the walker sunk it’s teeth into her arm.

Those who were still sitting at the campfire leapt into action, children being guarded by their parents as the few who were armed began taking out the walkers as they approached, but like a hydra, two more took the place of each fallen geek.

For a moment, Y/n considered closing the door of the RV. She was unfit to defend herself, let alone anyone else, and would be completely protected from the walkers. Then, she thought of the others, how they would be killed, and that if she had secluded herself, she would still die in a matter of days from hunger. Instead, she snatched the largest screwdriver from Dale’s toolbox and lunged forward, plunging it through the temple of the zombie that had continued attacking Amy with a loud cry, though she was unable to protect her from the second walker that snuck up behind her before it took a large chunk out of her neck.

Andrea was at her sister’s side in a moment, killing the walker and helping her to lay in the dirt as she sobbed, screaming for her sister to get up and keep going.

She had managed to take out another handful of walking corpses before her choice of weapon finally failed her. The tool became caught in the skull of one walker, leaving her defenceless against the others who were quickly advancing on her. Y/n tugged on the handle of the screwdriver with the entirety of her strength, closing her eyes as she began to accept her fate; The sinking of their rotting teeth into her flesh, the roughness of their decaying skin scratching against her own as they clawed her apart. But it never came.

One by one, the walkers who had surrounded her began dropping to the earth, round bullet holes marking their foreheads as black blood and chunks of brain and flesh began splattering onto her face. Glancing up, her eyes met those of Glenn, who ran to her side as soon as the dead assailants had fallen.

“Are you okay?” He asked, “You’re not bit?”

She stared down at the corpses at her feet before looking back up at him with red-rimmed eyes, voice caught in her throat, “No, I don’t think so.”

Y/n peeked over to where Andrea continued to kneel over her sister’s body, wailing as the final few walkers were killed. She whimpered as she eyed the large puddle of blood that had formed on the ground around her body. Glenn gulped as he followed her line of vision, quickly pulling her into his embrace to protect her from looking at it any longer.

“Amy,” She whispered quietly, tears beginning to dribble down her cheeks to stain his t-shirt as sobs began to wrack her body.

“I know,” His voice cracked as he cradled the back of her neck gently, pressing her face into his shoulder.

“Y/n!” Alex sprinted towards the pair, tearing his sister away from Glenn and into his own hold. “Oh my God, you’re okay.”

Y/n leaned further into her brother’s chest, muffling her increasingly loud sobs. In the mess of events that had occured in the past few minutes, her concern about the wellbeing of her brother had all but left her mind, which only upset her even further.

The safety that they had created for themselves had collapsed. Their camp was no longer safe, and over half of those who had once been survivors had been killed. Unsure of how to go on from there, the remainder of the campers wept quietly as they listened to the eerie, harrowing wails of Andrea Harrison.

#twd #female reader #reader insert #x reader #imagines #the walking dead daryl #the walking dead #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead imagines #the walking dead x reader #glenn rhee #maggie greene #glenn rhee x reader #daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon

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neveda · 3 years

Text

Death Note and Godliness, or, Who's the Real God — Kira (Raito), or L Lawliet? A Short Cross-Linguistic Overview.¹

Abstract: this short linguistic overview on Death Note is going to include Hebrew and Japanese, in an attempt to prove a point. It is also going to include IPA, so, if your device can't show IPA symbols, it's a You problem.

Introduction

Death Note is a Manga series, on which an Anime was based. The anime series has one season, and just under 40 episodes. To those unfamiliar, here's a recap: Raito Yagami (or Light Yagami in English) is a gifted child who grew up to be more successful in high school than you, is smart as fuck, and also athletic. He's Toni Kroos with a complete Abitur and parents who aren't athletes, and he also was born in Japan, and not Eastern Germany. But they're both Ugly But Some People Find Them Hot. Light is bored af because he's still got that gifted shit going well for him in high school, and he's very clean, and doesn't like to see people (or beings, which soon will be explained) littering.

Ryuk is a Shinigami (death god in Japanese lore) who does like littering. He's also very bored of doing shifts and killing people. Both Light and Ryuk are really bored. Completely unfittingly, the first chapter/episode (i don't remember tbh) is titled "Boredom".

In the anime, death is done by shinigamis, but instead of like, reaping or whatever death is doing in some beliefs, they write names in their notebooks called "Death Note". This is a clear reference to people writing names in notebooks and circling them with hearts, as i have demonstrated in another article.²

Back to Ryuk, the littering Shinigami. Ryuk, in his deep and painful boredom, decides to sow some wind, and thinks, that since he's not your conventional reaper, he won't reap storms.

Thus, Ryuk, while sitting on a cloud like some angel in these ugly stickers that would stand for lots of copyright lawsuits had the renaissance ninja turtles were alive, lets go of his Death Note and litters the Earth.

It falls in Light's school grounds, he even sees it from the window (he apparently doesn't have my dad's 10-6 eyesight and can't read or see what exactly is ht e thing that falls. In true Non-ADHD fashion, he proceeds to listen in class, and waits patiently until he has time, goes downstairs, and picks up the litter, aka the Death Note. Light, unaware this is s Death Note, understands that the sky can't litter, and decides to look inside, in case someone wrote his name and circled it with hearts. It is not the case, as it is, as mentioned, a Death Note.

fig. 1 – the Death Note user's manual

Light is quite curious. First of all, why doesn't it have his name with hearts? (Because he's narcissist). He takes it home to take better look at that black elementary school-like notebook.

In his Man-cave, he takes this better look he was planning on taking. and sees the user's manual in fig. 1.

He, of course, thinks it's a joke. Because he's very Smart, he thinks it's a dumb joke.

This doesn't, however, prevent him from trying it anyhow. While he is very curious, and Very Atheist and shit, he still doesn't take unnecessary risks, and writes the name of a criminal who appears on the news.

And, surprise! The criminal dies and Light is sure it's a coincidence, but Ryuk, the Littering Shinigami, visits Light and says, "Aye, it's the real deal m'dude. M'ma'am, with great power comes great responsibility, don't forget that" and eats Light's apple whole. No one but Light can see Ryuk because of something something.

fig. 2 — light and ryuk walking (and flying but very low) down the street.³

Light, the Good (non) Samaritan he is, uses it on other criminals, with some weird muscle seizures while writing. His second use of the Death Note is also noteworthy, when he saves a woman being harassed and assaulted by a biker, whose name he already heard before.

After that, Light begins looking up all criminal databases, and writes criminals' names that he finds in the Death Note. He does that without adding a CoD⁴, so it'll be clear someone is behind all these deaths; in my article,² i mention how i believe he does it both as a plot device, but also because he's very uncreative.

This gets into his head, however, and he proclaims he's gonna be God of that world. A perfect world with no crime and all that. He calls himself Kira (basically pronuncing Killer in Japanese, where there's no L sound). He says he's justice, god, blah blah blah idc.

Enter L. L is a detective like Sherlock but smarter, better, and not as Gary Stu as Sherlock. Also not British and doesn't look like a dead groundhog covered in vegemite.

L doesn't show his face, but only a letter. L. But he kinda seduces light to kill a killer Lindon B. johnson but only with Ls (Lindon Lee Lindman?) whose been captured but nothing about him was published. Very secret, much undercover. L knows now where Kira (Light) is, which is, well, in some areas in Japan (as in, he knows which area, idr which).

L is the second main character, with Light. Because if this, we will not cover Light's girlfriend who's all misogynistic stereotypes into a character, Makami GodFetish who nuts when someone says Kira; Near and Melo who are like L but kids.

This article is my attempt of explaining why, in my opinion, L is God, and not Light.

Death Note and Godliness, or, Who's the Real God — Kira (Raito), or L Lawliet? A Cross-Linguistic Overview.

Shinigamis are sort of gods. They're Death Gods, and can't be killed.

Light is killed at some point. In the manga it's pretty saddening and like, dramatic. L also dies (:sadyeehaw:), but I still think he's the God in the story.

While others might give the canon and use quotes, I'm using my preferred method of, as you might've guessed from the title, linguistics. Now, i don't have Linguistics degree nor do I know Japanese, but for this article, i use Hebrew and English with simple Japanese to explain my theory of why L is God.

I shall start with the Japanese name, Eru. Eru is the Japanese pronunciation of the name of the letter L (ʔell→ʔeɾɯ̥). It is canonically translated in English to ell, and his symbol, L, is depicted in both manga and anime afaik.

If so, L's name is El, which, coincidentally, is the romanization of the Hebrew word אֵל (ʔel) , meaning God.

And so, L = El = אל = god.

Conclusion

In this article, I have attempted to prove, through linguistic comparison, how L is God. I find myself to be very correct and I hope you too. If not, it's okay, it's not like i can relate to it, idk what it's like to be a dumdum.

I hope you liked it and that it'll help y'all when in academia.

Yours,

Me.

¹ this article was written after exchanges with a colleague of mine with Linguistics degree who's watched Death Note, in which i have expressed how i believe L was God all along because of his name. I then proceeded to write this article and ignored her for more than an hour. Sorry sis, ily.

² lmaoo never written that article. Will do if somebody asked me to tho.

³ fig. 2 was edited by me on my phone with an outdated system, and i couldn't change the direction of the labels. Not ashamed to admit it is a Me problem.

⁴ Cause of Death. While I do wish Light played some CoD (Call of Duty), he didn't. If he did, he wouldn't be bored as he'd be a gamer, and have games to play before he's all bored and starts using that Death Note.

#death note #l lawliet #death note manga #yagami light #light yagami #raito yagami #yagami raito #lawlight

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welcome-to-afterlife · 4 years

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I just read the obey me after life ell crossover and I'm so excited to see the next post because it was 🔥🔥🔥 but now my brain at 3 am is chugging out a custody battle for mc fanfic that I'll never write and I'm holding you accountable for it

Finally finished! This is a lot longer than I thought it would be, but I still had a lot of fun writing it.

AFTERL!FE X OBEY ME CROSSOVER

The air was buzzing with tension. Hushed voices filled the room as spectators poured into the courtroom, both from Devildom and the Otherworld. Humans and demons sat in the audience, waiting for the historical decision made today. No human from the Otherworls had ever been sentenced to work at Devildom, but that was about to change.

Both the defendants and plaintiffs sat at the front of the room. On the left side, the Morningstar family were checking over all their belongings to make sure they hadn't forgotten anything. Besides them was the future king of Devildom, Diavolo, and his butler, Barbatos. Lucifer was talking to Diavolo with great concern, pointing to Solomon, who was shuffling through the endless papers on his desk. Although the sorcerer had never touched a law textbook in his life, the Otherworld laws had a strict human-attorney-only (dead or alive) policy. While Lucifer insisted on contacting his lawyer contacts in the human realm, Diavolo opted for Solomon. The future king of Devildom claimed that Solomon had the best understanding of their situation and that his slithery tongue would be the cause for their victory. Lucifer could only hope that he was right.

On the right side was noisy chatter from Nyang Lead Manager, Housemaster Sei, and the soul reapers from the 14th Department. Unlike Lucifer, the reapers were confident and relaxed. They had the upper-hand in the situation as Youssef, the lawyer with an record-breaking winning streak, was their attorney. The only being that was anxious was the Lead Manager, who was too busy hissing at Youssef to notice the judge entering the room.

As the judge walked into the room, the crowd became silent. Behind her was the manager of the 14th Department-- the focus of the case. The judge stood at the center podium while the manager positioned themselves behind the left podium.

"Welcome everyone. Today we will begin the formal proceedings for the civil case Morningstar vs. The 14th Department." The judge slammed the gavel on the podium. "I will decide whether the manager of the 14th Department should transfer to Devildom or continue their activites in the Otherworld. We will begin the proceedings by asking the plaintiff to state their case."

That was Solomon's cue. He stood up and cleared his throat. "Your honor, the Morningstar family-"

"Make it quick, dumbass. You guys are gonna lose anyways," Quincy shouted from the opposite side.

The entire court turned to him, including the judge. "Sir, I highly suggest that you compose yourself in this professional environment or else your will be forcibly removed. Mr. Solomon, you may continue."

Ethan rolled his eyes and whispered, "Great going, you brat."

Mammon and Levi snickered as Quincy crossed his arms and glared at them.

Solomon glanced at his papers once more, before continuing. "As I was saying, the Morningstar family believes that the 14th Department's manager is best suited for Devildom. They have already spent an entire year as an exchange student and returned for an additional amount of time. We believe that their managerial expertise would benefit the exchange program as the manager would be in charge of guiding new exchange students. As a human, they would be able to provide emotional support and act as a resource for information....."

The brothers watched in amazement as Solomon handled himself with poise and grace. Diavolo grinned and elbowed Lucifer's ribs. I told you he'd be great.

"Wow, he's almost as good as Lucifer," Satan said.

"Who knew that academia could be so sexy?" Asmo whispered.

"Looool so you're into nerds now?" Levi asked.

"I'm hungry," Beel groaned.

"Shut up, all of you. Or else I'll hang you from the roof by your feet," Lucifer hissed.

"Hey, I didn't say anything! Why ya threaten' me?" Mammon exclaimed.

Meanwhile, the soul reapers began to worry. Solomon was a lot more throughout than they had expected. The longer he talked, the more likely the judge would agree with him. Ell, in particular, was so anxious that he went on another sneezing fit. Although Licht tried to assure him that everything would be alright, Ell couldn't ignore the possibility of losing the manager. He was supposed to be their guardian angel. What type of angel was he if he couldn't protect them from other people? Fortunately, Housemaster Sei anticipated this, so brought a noise-canceling mask for the angel.

Once Solomon finished presenting his case, the judge spoke. "Thank you, Mr. Solomon. Now we will ask the defendant to speak."

Yousseff shuffled his papers. He took a deep breath and stood before the court.

"Your Honor," he started. "The 14th Department believes that the manager should not transfer to Devildom. This the first manager in the soul reaper history. Consider it a test run, if you will. With the manager, we will be able to determine whether having a manager is effective in soul reaper activity, especially purification rates."

He took a paper filled with graphs and charts. "According to this report from the Reaper Archives, the 14th Department had the lowest purification rates last 5 years."

"What the hell? Is he trying to embarrass us?" Sian shook his head.

"Have some trust in him. After all, he's the lawyer," Nine shrugged.

"With this in mind, the department leaders believed that we would benefit from additional managerial support. And ever since then, our purification rates have increased by 30%. Furthermore, we are the only department to have such a large in increase in rates while maintaining the ethical aspect of purification." Youssef continued.

"If that is the case, why not take another human as the manager? Mr. Solomon made it clear that the manager was the first exchange student who has extraordinary magical capabilities, so their presence is important in Devildom. What makes them so special that you cannot retrieve a replacement?"

"Yeah, why can't y'all just pluck another human from your Otherworld thingy?" Mammon leaned back in his seat.

"How about I pluck your glasses and shove them up your ass," Quincy snorted.

"Why use glasses when there are a whole variety of toys? That's much more fun, no?" Asmo said.

"Sir-" The judge started.

"There are children in the room, you filthy, narcissistic freak," Ethan snorted.

"Order!" The judge shouted.

"Don't talk to my brother like that!" Satan shouted.

"Then stop trying to steal our manager, or else I'll bite you!" Kati growled.

Mammon laughed. "Listen pipsqueak. You see Beel over here?" He patted Beelzebub's muscles. "He'd swallow you whole and eat the rest of your team."

"Well I'll be happy to inform you that I've got a whole magical book on how to control demons," Ghilley held up a golden book in his hands.

"Order in the court!" The judge shouted again.

Lucifer glared at the soul reaper, his wings slowly unveiling themselves from his back. "Where did you find that?"

The judge sighed. "Sir, didn't I just-"

Quincy snickered. "What? Now you're scared of some tiny book? I thought you were supposed to have big ego. You know, after God kicked you out of-"

Lucifer lunged for the younger demon. Mori pulled out his cards and threw them at Lucifer's direction. The Avatar of Pride dodged, shifting his target to Mori. But before he could cause further damage, Diavolo and Barbatos grabbed his arms.

"I'm so sorry for Lucifer's outburst. However Quincy, that's a large statement from a demon with a major inferiority complex," Diavolo's smile was tight and thin.

"Alright let me at this motherf-" Quincy ran, but Ethan and June held him back.

"Order in the court!" The judge slammed the gavel. "The next person to speak out of turn will be permanently banned from this establishment."

Everyone sat back in their seats, sending glares to the opposition. The judge looked at Youssef, who continued his case.

Once Youssef ended presenting his case, the judge thanked him and reexamined the paper on their desk.

After a minute a long minute of silence, the judge removed her glasses. "Well both sides make compelling arguments with the manager's prescience needed at both locations. However, we're missing the most important part."

She turned to the manager. "My decision is entirely based on your response to this question, so I'd like you to answer it with some thought."

The manager nods. "I'm ready."

"Do you want to stay in the Otherworld or live in Devildom?"

#afterl!fe #obey me #afterl1fe #obey me swd #afterlife

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crystu-cii · 3 years

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Of course!! 💕💞💕💕💕💞💞

What a MOOD XDD OKAY I FEEL YOU ON THAT ONE SHOT THING TBH- LIKE IF YOU TAKE TOO LONG TO GET TO THE GOOD SHIT ILL JUST GET BORED YALL--

wHEeze okay mood-- I actually went in my backyard with a mask on today(not intentionally, my sister sprayed febreeze and I'm sensitive to fragrances soo-- but the entire time I was like "wtf I'm telling crys about this later" XDD

XDD YEAHHH-- XDDD oms MA'AM GO GET SOME SLEEP WH..... TAKE A NAP MISS......

XD also baby jail- puts a laundry basket over him- there now I'm safe-- dangg never had a pet?? I recommend a dog(specifically shelties/sheltie mixes!! They're beautiful and playful!! And the type of dog I've had all my life :3) I.. ban?? Like ban ban??? Wh????

I am! XDD I'd (at least probably) say something if I wasn't-- of course!!!! 💞💕💞💕💞💞💕

Me too!! I miss hanging out with them :/ but so many live super far sooo :,D OH DEAR-- yeah nonononoooo-- Do Not-- YEAH better safe than sorry nO--

I CAN TELL YOU THAT THE PUMPKIN AND CHERRY PIES WERE DELICIOUS, HAVEN'T HAD THE BIBLE YET- AH YES PHONE WERE EATING A BIBLE HOW COULD I THINK IT'S CALLED A COBBLER-- XDD WH- HOW DARE SHE INSULT PUMPKIN PIES LIKE THAT-- /HJ it sounds fairly weird but hey if it's good than cool!! XDD

BUT tREEeEeeE!!!!! DO YOU NOT ENJOY DRESSING UP??? WHAT ABOUT THE CANDY SALES DIRECTLY AFTER???? WH-- AAAAAAAH HOW COULD Y'ALL-- XDD

Yeahh, I decided not to take any more creative classes in school anymore anyways--they don't suit me at all-- OH DANG-- YALL REALLY OUT HERE PISSING OFF THE CHOIR TEACHER??? DAMNNN-- XDDD YESSS-- awwwwhh :( oh well, on steam you can mood games sooo-- if you haven't asked for it, I recommend the portal games 👀 they're SO GOOD and I'll simp for both Glados and Wheatley, don't test me (unless you're Glados or Wheatley) /hj BUT THEY'RE SUCH WELL-MADE CHARACTERS-- BUT VALVE CAN'T COUNT TO THREE SOOOO-- (but there is a cool portal 2 mod coming out in April 2021(plus another from the past I think!) that looks incredibly promising!!!) and oooooohh I actually haven't seen much about it 👀 but from what I have seen it looks fun!!!!

opens calendar app-- can I just say it's so rare to meet people born in the early months-- like January and February, especially SO EARLY in the months of just unheard of XD I have a singular other friend born in January, on the 21st-- and I knew a girl who was born February but like I don't really like her or know her well so she doesn't count--

lEGITTT LIKE- im OUTTA HERE- xDDD

and omgg XDD im lowkey sensitive to fragrances to- when its too much and all- like i would only spray myself with perfume ome to three times while my mom is here doing like tWENTY SPRAYS AND IM LIKE "hEYo BRO I CANT B R E A T H E" /nm- its wild XDD

AND LEGITTT My mOm NEEEDS SLEPPP- quarantine has ruined her so hard- its ironic- I M supposed to be the rebelious one- XDD

WHWHWHEEZE B AB Y JA I L- XDD and yeahh- well my brother has an aussie dog (the one i said their name was also astro xD) but sometimes im just like- "yeah- thats my dog too-" i even mentioned it on a introduce yourself assignment for school xD and omg i dont know my dog types but i searched up what sheltie dogs look like and OMGG???💞 YESS A FLUFFY DOG I always dream of having a dog soo fluffyy- but i expect that it would be a pain to clean up the fur all the time XDD and well i MeAANn- not really ban but like- whenever i speak about pets at all to my mom- it would go like- me: we cant even have ONE pet? | mom: no | me: how about a fish?? | mom: wELL ***-BRINGS UP EMBARRASING ACTION I DID AS A TODDLER-*** ) so i just assume thats her way of saying- no fish. XDD

and phew thats good! the least thing i'd want is make you uncomfortable in any way ;w;; 💞💞 gosh- even hanging out with friends is like russian roulette- XDD before covid and all i would always go to Larie's house every single weekend because my mom would always go there every weekend to play mahjong (its a little gambling game) and i would just be like "YEAH IM COMIN TOO-" - like OMG- literally friend's moms being friends with your mom is just the definition of LIFE GOALS- and it would be so fun every time i go there too- my mom would play with them till midnight or literally up to 3 am- so me and larie would just do the most wackiest stuff- along with eating loads of snacks and watching random shows or anime XDD ahh its only months ago since it stopped but it already feels nostalgic xD

awh NoW I WANNA TRY PIEEEESS- AND ABHAHAHAHA "HAVENT TRIED THE BIBLE"- I GOT SO CONFUSED WHEN I FIRST READ THAT XDD phone: its the BIBLE | astro: its a cobbler— | PHONE: YOU QUESTION THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY? ) XDDDD

and LEGITTT- WHENEVER we ask them "hey what you gonna dress up this halloween" thEY woULd JusT Be Like "huh halloween whats that--" XDDD but they end up trying to celebrate it with us at the very least- xD anD YEAP WELCOME TO WHEN its the time of the year where the month names start ending with "ber" aka CHRISTMAS CHAOS TIME- /hj xDDD

mann for my school we had to choose between three music electives- band, orchestra, choir- i chose orchestra and it was AWESOME- until it was my last year and THE FUCKING ORCHESTRA TEACHER QU IT (it was reasonable actually- she had a sickness) and the cLASS JUST TURNED TO SHITITITHKAHTLQJF I HATED IT it came from my favorite class to the WORST in an InSTANT im SOBBING- but even the whole school is just utter bull- during that same year- i had six classes(a teacher for each) and guess what- THREE OF THOSE TEACHERS LEFT- LIKE EXCUSE YOU?? my 2020 was already RUINED before even COVID CAME like WTHHH- so yeah it was crazy- at that point we were all in despair and the school became more ghetto than it was before(everyone would keep saying "wErE In The GheTtO RATTATATAAA" every time we reach school grounds- its funny cause its true- XDD) yeah its crazzyy

and Oh YEHAH the mods are sickk- mods make my dont starve together gameplay so much better xDD and ooh i have seen portal before but i never actually played em- i think i was watching the walkthrough of both games just to try to learn what the game was about- but in the end- i forgot everything from what the heck our objectives of the game was other than to solve mind blowing puzzles- XDD but cAN i JUST SAY THE SONGS ABSOLUTELT BOPPED THO? THE ENDING SONGS STILL ALIVE AND WANT YOU GONE GOT ME LIKE in TEARS to how good they were- like i jammed to them for a long ass while xDDD and ohhh i never seen any portal mods before! i didnt even know portal mods were a thing but that sounds SICKKK

and omg xD and wth- now that you mention it- like- SAMEE?? real life wise- the birthdays are scrambbled up- but lately on tumblr almost everyone has their birthdays around the the "ber" times and this has now made me realize it- like omg- XDD

#the rambles of crystu

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

Text

Like Echinacea Sassafrass is included in webMD

Therefore I wanna introduce an uncommon concept combined with another and 4 more

To unveil an absolutely Rare

Archangel Sassafrass; Doctor Calvin Broadus Snoop Dogg, OG.

I of course am Archangel Echinacea. And if you think his name is long try adding in Joan of Arc, Jesus, Cleopatra, Tubman and 3 paragraphs of names that take up 2/3 of a traditional legal sized piece of paper.

Y'all will never get pissed off at me and go all naming yelling my name at Me. Promise you that. At some point Your mood will change.

So you get mad at me start listing my names. It will get yoh through a whole day!

You know it starts at Annie. Then Belle? Then Annabelle to full blown Annabelle Marie then God forbid I hang on the last one.

So I start over and Declan come running with Annabelle "what what?"

"I was just checking to see if it still worked for the rest of the regular humans. Now let's go get something to eat. Lets go to Weck's"

"Oh shit yeah! I thought WE were in trouble!"

We have a dinner game for to learn all my names.

Archangel Echinacea. So when you think you really need me. Reach for an herb. I'm busy in my peace and quiet of life.

But i want you to know I'm still and always will be here to serve God and my community. So if you really need me. I'll be there.

Same with snoop.

Now i want to address the link with cancer. We did studies to see if it could heal. Unknown to Snoop.

It did not. So we to inform him unofficially under cover and to notify the human government that human trafficking was still in existence and aliens on free roaming to keep the CIA prepared to stop alien invasions we listed it as we have

Causes cancer Snoop personal failing to his commitment that he could stop cancer alone. Makes him feel hes causing because he can't prevent.

Its personal and deep. As i said snoop Dogg is often suicidal like I am. So now you see...

Illegal by the FDA. He said "at least stop me to stop human trafficking and slavery especially against these girls into sex traffic!!! Do something please!!!"

One day in 1982 he was crying and withering in the floor in so much inhumane pain for the world.

1997. 1984. 1983. 1994. 1910. 1901. 1009. 1971. You get the picture? Nearly every year he's been alive. If not every 2. Rarely he holds it in for twice every 3. NEVER made it to 4 unless he died. Then would do it at 2 years old.

So we made it onto his plantitary name. So he didn't have to say. It was known.

Usually in the CIA Hes called King Sassafrass.

"I got sassy to Venus to get him on my grass"

Sometimes he get worried because hes from Venus. And i tell him "they're called Venetian blinds on the Windows. They ain't Martian blinds! You are welcome in our homes to look out to keep us protected. Don't worry so much snoop. Just be you and peek out the Windows"

Venetian blinds are named in Honor of Snoop Dogg because he's snooping all the time.

Because me and his woman would be out in the yard and he always be peeking at the curtain and we would make a game of it. Sneaking around the house to catch him in the act

"What are you doing?"

"Ohhh you know... Checking on Venus... I mean the aliens from"

"That Goddess that arrived here with you that you're too shy to admit youre in love with?" I'd tease him in a high pitched sing along voice.

Goddess of Venus Snoop Dogg is married to.

Y'all didn't know. I speak of Mrs Shawntae. Y'all didn't know how important she is to the Earth and all the worlds that we have created, Alex and I.

Venetian blinds "but snoop i said... I'm like you. I don't want them peeking out at your old lady so we won't never mention who she is. Just to you every now and again. But you can peek no matter who she's with"

"But what about the rest of my planet? I want them happy and okay too"

Venetian was the word choice we agreed upon.

It is Earthling.

So if you have "mini blinds" on your Windows at home... Realize that you're cared about so much we had to rename them in 1985 because snoop only had a mini amount of hope we would survive as a human race.

When we return to land. Every single window in every single home will have Venetian blinds installed by trees and dinosaurs.

Not plain white but what I call tattooed.

I'm sure examples are provided on the order website. All free of charge. Because of love.

Which is free.

Help me in congratulating snoop in the posts below keep in mind he now has to hoard tissues cause y'all gonna make him cry too much.

I know. Because he's my friend.

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