#but in the mean time get funky wit this

[mncxbe]

Absbsjskajnshajks idk if you’re taking more requests rn, but if it’s not an issue could I possibly request a part two of that fic you posted about reader having a cat ability which means that they’re sometimes in heat??😭😭 maybe with Tetchō and Jouno (only if you feel like it)

Yes of course and my requests are always open although it may take a while to write them♡ Also added Dazai to this one I hope you like it.

1.50♡ p2

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑻𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒖, 𝑱ō𝒏𝒐 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: itty-bitty smut♡/ fluff??

°☆○ 1.50♡ ~ part 1

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊

this smug bastard takes advantage of your state in the most subtle ways; lingering touches, flirtatious smiles and passionate kisses

at work he teases you more than usually, describing all the sinful things he'd do to you if you were in a more private setting👀 really just gets you all riled up for nothing

but when you two get home he acts like a completely different person

"What, bella? do you need something from me?" he always asks with a smirk on his face "Maybe some assistance with your little... situation?"

doesn't lay a finger on you until you practically beg him (nicely); it's not like he'll ever admit it but hearing your desperate pleas really boosts his ego

he does his best to help you in other ways too. he'll do more chores around the house and write your reports at work if you really can't handle them. overall he's a good guy♡

Dazai was lounging around the office, wasting time and avoiding his chores; since you had been sent on a mission, your boyfriend didn't had much else to do. He had his headphones on and was listening to some funky song when you suddenly walked behind him.

Leaning over his frame, you swiftly hooked a finger beneath one of the speakers and lifted it.

"Boo" you whispered lowly, your hot breath sending a shiver down his spine.

"Ah bella here you are. How's my pretty girl doing?" He tried to get up from the couch but you pressed further on his back.

"Bella... Come on let me get up and give you a kiss. I missed you" he whined

"Oh trust me baby. I want way more than a kiss" you said in a teasing voice.

In a matter of seconds, Dazai was back on his feet and had you pinned down on the couch, a mocking smile on his face.

"You're that desperate for me, bella? You've only been gone for a couple of hours. You really can't spend that little time without my touch?"

Your gaze darted around the room, hoping that no one could witness the position you were in.

"I'm in heat, Dazai." you confessed quietly.

"What was that? I didn't quite catch it?"

"I said..." you began, rosy petal blooming on your cheeks "I said that I'm in heat, Osamu. Because of my ability"

"And what does that have to do with me, huh?" he tauned, lips hovering just above the shell of your ear. "Do you perhaps want me to have my way with you here? In the office?"

Your body quivered slightly at the sound of his low voice, making him giggle.

"Get up, bella. And go finish your job so we can leave early."

You nodded your head in agreement before straightening yourself. As you were making your way back to your desk, your boyfriend called out to you:

"Oh and bella?"

"Yes?" you asked sweetly

"Don't forget to ask Kunikida for a free day tomorrow. You'll be needing it after tonight" he replied with a wink, causing your blush to deepen.

𝑱ō𝒏𝒐

you don't have to tell him that you're in heat, he can smell your arousal

just like Dazai, this man gives you the most condescending smile and shamelessly teases you throughout the day

if you work someplace else he'll send you texts to check up on you and gently remind you that he'll provide any help you need once he gets home

but if you're part of the Hunting Dogs good luck. he's all over you all day, making snarky remarks about your "condition"

Jōno also likes to hear you beg; hearing your thumping heartbeat and sweet voice when you tell him how much you crave him really turns him on

will cook breakfast for you if you're too tired in the morning

Jōno woke up with warm sunshine on his face and your sleeping figure next to him. This hour and a half before work, when you'd both wake up and cuddled for a while then have breakfast together was among his most cherished moments.

Usually you'd wake up just minutes after him, turning to face him with a wide smile on your face as you sleepily uttered a "Good morning Sai" and showered him with kisses. Except you didn't do that today.

Jōno knew by the accelerated rhythm of your heart that you were awake, but you were not moving an inch.

"Darling? Is there something wrong?" he asked softly, placing his hand on your waist.

You quickly shook your head as you curled up in a fetal position "No, I'm good, I'm okay". Your voice was shaky and low, as if you were pain.

"Baby please, if you're hurt or not feeling well then please-"

And then it hit him; a strong, intoxicating scent coming from your body. A cocky smirk rose to his lips when he finally understood the cause of your distress.

"You're in heat, aren't you?"

You suddenly turned to face him with a pleading look on your face. "Yea..."

"Well then we must do something about that" he teased, his hand sliding to your thigh. "Would be a shame to let you go to work like this."

Your boyfriend expected you to protest just like you normally did when he initiated such things in the morning, but today you were so compliant. You scooted closer to him, leaning into his touch; eyes glazed in lust.

"Well aren't you needy today, princess?" he inquired playfully. He gently pushed you onto your back and spread your legs, the tips of his fingers skimming along your clothed slit.

"You're so wet already, princess. I can feel it through your clothes" The little moan that left your lips when his lithe digits slid beneath the wristband of your yoga shorts reverberated through Jōno's entire body.

With a swift tug at your pants and underwear he had you undressed, thumb lazily circling your clit. His hot breath fanned against your parted lips.

"Sai, gimme more~" you babbled out, fiercely seizing his wrist as you guided his fingers to your entrance.

Your boyfriend only smiled at your desperate attempt, ceasing his ministrations. "Take what you're given, sweetie. Or I won't give you anything at all" he purred, teeth grazing the shell of your ear.

You immediately complied with his order and released his arm. "Good girl. See, it wasn't that hard, was it?"

Suddenly, he plunged two of his fingers into you; stretching your leaking hole. A ragged moan escaped your parted lips as your nails dug into his forearm, causing your boyfriend to smirk. Your sinful sounds were like music to his ears, clouding his mind with lust. There was nothing he loved more than coaxing those delicious moans and whimpers out of you.

His digits pumped in and out of you at a steady pace; his thumb resuming its circular motions on your puffy clit.

"God baby I'm so close" you uttered in a ragged voice, thighs instinctively squeezing together.

Just as you felt the familiar heat pooling in your core, Jōno removed his hand from your underwear.

"Won't you look at that, love. We gotta go to work or we'll be late." he said tauntingly. You let out a loud hiss at the loss of touch.

"Sai, don't you dare leave me like this-" you cried out but it was too late. Your boyfriend was already on his way to the bathroom.

The rest of the morning was spent in silence hence you decided to punish your partner for teasing you. Of course, you were aware of how much Jōno enjoyed himself; a scornful laughter escaping his lips whenever you dodged his touch and kisses.

"I'm gonna head out, love. Good luck at work!" he voiced before leaving, but you didn't reply. A few seconds after you heard the door of your shared apartment close with a thud.

You spent most of the day in a state of utter annoyance and frustration, not being able to focus on any task you were given. All you wanted was for your partner to take care of your needs but instead he treated you like a plaything, leaving you brimming with pent-up desires.

Around 2 p.m, your phone chimed, announcing that you just received a text from Jōno. A rosy blush rose to your cheeks as your eyes scanned the glowing screen:

'Hi princess, I hope you're doing well at work. I know you're yearning for my touch but I promise I won't leave you unsatisfied tonight. Just be my good little girl and wait a few more hours. I know you can do it♡"

It's safe to say that that night, your boyfriend kept his promise.

𝑻𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒖

my sweet angel he's the most caring person ever istg. he's a bit confused when you tell him that you're in heat since he doesn't really know how that affects him??

but once you explain that you'll need him he blushes so hard; but he takes it well

Tecchou take princess treatment to another level during this time. You get to relax after work while he does all the chores and cooks food

he prepares baths for you or spontaneously buys you a bouquet of roses♡ he's really sweet

you're never left unsatisfied in bed, like never. he has an incredible stamina and a never ending need to please you

The setting sun painted the blue sky of Yokohama in shades of purple, red and ochre, a warm light glowing through the high ceiling windows of the building. Tecchou was compiling his last report for the day when you peeked your head through the open doors of his office.

"Hi Hiro. Got a minute?" you beamed, lips curling into an impish smile.

"Of course, darling. Come inside."

Your sweet boyfriend didn't suspect anything as you closed the door and walked up to him, hips swaying gracefully. You positioned yourself on his lap, snaking your arms around his neck.

"So Hiro. How soon can we go home?"

"Soon. I just need to finish the paperwork." he replied, pointing at the half written page with his black fountain pen.

You pushed your lower lip forward into a pout, impatiently swinging your legs. "Ok but how soon is soon?"

Without taking his eyes off of the report, your boyfriend shrugged. "In a few minutes but... if I may ask, why are you so eager to get home, darling?"

"Oh, well" you said in a honeyed voice "I don't know if I ever told you this but because of my cat-shifting ability I sometimes experience heats"

"And?" he pressed, utterly unaware of what you were implying. His slender fingers were gingerly caressing your hips, making you shift uncomfortably in his lap.

"What I'm saying is that I'm horny, Hiro. And I need you to fuck me."

Your boyfriend's eyes shot open and he droppen the pen, little droplets of ink splattering the pearly sheet; the grip he had on your hip also tightened.

Pleased with his reaction, you ran one hand down his chest, slightly tugging at the buttons of his vest. "But of course we don't need to be home for that. There's plenty of space here" you added, patting his wooden desk.

Upon hearing your daring proposal, Tecchou's face turned a light shade of pink. "I mean... We're at the office my love but I promise I'll take care of you at home, ok?"

You give him a small nod and a peck on the cheek before hopping off his lap. "I'll be waiting for you in the car. Hurry up"

As you walked towards the door you could hear a sudden rustling of paper as your boyfriend haphazardly attempted to finish his work. He caught up with you just as you were exiting the building; of course, you didn't fail to notice his ragged breath. He'd probably ran down the stairs. You let out a soft chuckle as you noticed this.

"So, darling. Is there anything else I can do for you besides, you know...?" he asked sweetly "I mean, how does this affect you?"

"Well, I tend to lack in energy levels and I have a terrible attention span. I was actually thinking about taking a week off work 'till I feel better."

"I see..." After thinking for a few moments, Tecchou grabbed both of your hand and spoke in a solemn voice "Then I will do my best to do as many chores around the house. I'll cook dinner for us too so don't worry about it. Just focus on feeling better, ok?"

The look on his face was of pure devotion and determination; causing warmth to pool in your core.

You rose to the tips of your toes and cupped his face with your warm hands before pressing your lips on his. The kiss was tender and loving at first, but you soon found one of your hands entangled in his coffee-coloured locks as soft moans rolled off your lips. He swiftly scooped you up and made his way to your car.

Your boyfriend placed you in the backseat before taking off his cape and discarding it on the passanger's seat.

"Wait, Hiro. What are you doing?"

His skilled fingers quickly undid the buttons of his vest and he slid it off his shoulders, leaving him only in his tank top which showed his toned arms. All this time his hungry gaze was locked with yours, making you shiver with anticipation.

"Well darling. I guess you're not the only who's eager tonight" he said before joining you in the rear seat; hurriedly closing the door behind him.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd fluff #bsd smut #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #dazai bsd #dazai smut #bsd tecchou #tetchou x reader #bsd tetchou #jono x reader #jono saigiku #jono bsd #jouno smut #hunting dogs bsd #bsd headcanons

[astaroth1357]

We Gotta Talk About Barbatos (And Kinda Solomon But This Ain't About Him)

SPOILERS for up to Chapter 16 of NB

These recent chapters have been giving us breadcrumbs about the pasts of both Barbatos and Solomon, the two of which seem to be deeply entwined. I have yet to make a post about Solomon's past (which gets twistier and twistier by the minute btw), but right now I just want to touch on my questions about Barbatos and... well. The hell is he up to?? I have one question that has been eating away at me the longer NB goes on and I think its answer could solve everything:

Is there only one Barbatos?

What I mean by this question is something along the lines of my Timeless!Barbatos idea from a while ago. Is there only Barbatos, i.e. is Barbatos a being that exists outside of the constraints of time? Is he like the controller/arbiter of time, but not subject to things like continuity himself? When he exists in a certain timeline, is that mirrored through every other timeline (i.e. multiple Barbatos that are spread throughout multiple branches) or is there ever only ONE. Just him. And he selects which timeline to inhabit?

I have this question because there are things about the Barbatos we interact with and hints dropped by others that Barbatos is, potentially, far, far older and far more powerful than I think we can actually grasp.

Thirteen's last point is the one that really makes me wonder, because if Barbatos really has such a broad ability to transcend time and space, then it would be a bit of a nightmare if there were a billion of him running around. Any random change makes a new timeline that makes a new Barbatos with those same godlike abilities until you're completely swamped in the man. Plus, Barbatos never gives us any indication that he speaks to or witnesses his past or future selves, even when he's manipulating things from sidelines...

If there is only one Barbatos, then 1. Little Dia managed to convince, like, the singularly most powerful being in the universe to play House with him, which is such a power move. And 2. That also means any interactions we have with Barbatos in this (or any) timeline cannot be replicated elsewhere. No matter how funky our time adventures get, that Barbatos remains a constant. Thus, NB Barbatos IS OM Barbatos. Probably just hijacked by Solomon to go to past. A past he was no longer present in, because he exists in a continuous state of "present" (his presence is instantly erased from past and he doesn't appear in the future).

And for a being THAT powerful, you really have to wonder...

How much has he changed...?

In Chapter 16, we learn why Beel went berserk and destroyed the Castle. He was triggered by Lucifer explaining a banshee's scream. In OM canon, two kinds of people can hear these screams: those who will die or have a loved one who will die soon and those who have heard it before.

Beel heard a banshee scream in the human world before the War and internalized it as the warning that Lilith was going to die. Naturally, he thinks that if he had told Lucifer then he may have changed his mind but Satan drops this bombshell on us.

A baneshee's warning is supposed to predetermine time. According to Satan, Lilith was alway going to die. But we have a problem here...

Lilith just. Is not dead. Like. Canonically in both the OG title and in NB, Lilith survives the War. So... what gives??

Beel can hear a banshee scream and nobody else can. There's no question that someone was supposed to die. Which only leaves three options:

1. Lilith is dead. Even as a human, she perished.

2. Lilith was never made human... Someone lied to Lucifer and she's actually dead.

3. Barbatos fucked with time to save Lilith.

Option 1 would be pretty lackluster, all things considered. Though it would be a little darkly humorous if Lilith fought and survived in a Celestial War, then got hit by a car one year later or something.

Option 2 would be... so fucked up. But could also shed some light onto Diavolo's guilt about taking in the brothers. Like, imagine if he knew that nothing could be done for Lilith and still tricked Lucifer into eternal service anyway knowing that he could never check his bluff. That would be downright diabolical... and out of character, so I don't think that's the case. (Though, I could see Barbatos lying about it if it gave Diavolo Lucifer's loyalty in the end.)

But Option 3... I think that's actually spine-chilling. Imagine if Diavolo ordered Barbatos to find some way to twist time to save Lilith. And not just spare her life, but to somehow turn her human. That means that we're already playing the events of an altered timeline.

Now combine this idea with our Singular Barbatos theory. If there is one Barbatos, then this is the only timeline where he currently resides. If Barbatos wasn't in THIS timeline, Lilith would be dead. In every other timeline, Lilith is dead. And if OM keeps the detail about MC's lineage, then MC NEVER GETS TO EXIST. They can only be alive in THIS BRANCH OF TIME. There are no other MCs. Just the one (and the corpse that got phased out of being, but we don't talk about them). And this could explain why MC's very existence would be so important to a time-travel being like Nightbringer. There's only one MC to use.

Now, since MC is so powerful (possibly as being that is an aberration in time) it makes me wonder a whole lot more about where someone as powerful Solomon actually came from... How much meddling as Barbatos really done here? If... it was even Barbatos at all. 👀 (Speculation for another day)

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me nightbringer spoilers #obey me nightbringer theories #obey me nightbringer #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me thirteen #omn spoilers #omnb spoilers #omnb barbatos #omn barbatos

[albatris]

Since it's come to my attention a lot of folks don't know ATDAO....... here's an intro post :3c

All the Doors are Open! A funky lil sci-fi-ish, fantasy-ish, horror-ish tale about some South Australian kids going about their daily lives... oh, and also reality is collapsing and cracks between universes called Ports are appearing, letting otherworldly energy leak through and wreak havoc.

Four plotlines intertwine into one big stupid plotline, n the key players are as follows:

Tris Greer, panic attack in human form, who just witnessed a freak car accident that somehow caused his older brother to blip out of existence. The relevant authorities prove supremely unhelpful, so he takes it upon himself to find the truth and bring his brother home, even if it means a daring trip into an unstable air bubble between dimensions - a task easier said than done when he’s anxious enough just leaving the house.

Yun Sung-won, edgy intimidating badass hiding nooo insecurities or trauma whatsoever, who can suddenly bend and break the reality around her the same way Ports do. The shiny new destructive powers might be kinda cool - if the crack in reality inside her wasn’t chaotically deteriorating... and if she didn’t work for the Department of Interdimensional Instabilities, whose whole shtick is eliminating dangerous interdimensional energies.

Shara Aleng, conspiracy enthusiast and amateur paranormal investigator, who's new in town and on a mission. She's been able to see cracks in reality no one else notices since she was a kid, and, armed with just a handheld radio, she's mapping interdimensional fault lines and hunting down the source of the apocalypse.

Kai Lancaster, peddler of haunted antiques and mender of cracks in reality, who went to investigate an abandoned house for an hour and emerged to find seven years had passed. They're now grappling with the emotional and social repercussions of their trip out of time, having been tossed into a life that's moved on without them. And how can they try and re-enter their family's lives when their family has spent seven years grieving them and fighting to get back to any sense of normality?

Anyway. It's a cheesy power of friendship story about the human capacity for kindness and connection! It’s also full of horrifying things that will make your skin crawl <3 We got existential horror, we got body horror, we got cosmic horror... we got love and courage and joy in the face of despair! Also, we got mentally ill heroes, including one with psychosis and one with a dissociative disorder, whose experiences are never demonised or used as cheap plot twists :3

Here is the them:

I'm not posting much about it at the moment but it's my longest-standing WIP and very close to my heart :D I've been working on some version of it since I was 16! Lemme know at any time if you wanna be added to the tag list~ I can't guarantee I'll work on it soon but I CAN guarantee I'll work on it sometime!

#atdao #writeblr #I'm doing a complete overhaul of the plot #i think maybe an equal delve into all four povs which is gonna be a lot of work but fhdjskdj doable maybe

[daydream-cement]

Dinner Mix-Up

Larissa Weems x Reader

This is a super special birthday story for my wifey @funky--lesbian. She was the one who gave me the idea and I'm simply writing it out for her. It was so wonderful meeting you IRL Tuesday <3

She had been insanely busy. So busy that she was coming home late in the evenings, long after you retired to bed. In the mornings, she left before you woke, needing to get into the office before she had any students cause trouble during the moments she slept. You could tell Larissa was running herself into the ground.

With the arrival of the Addams’ girl and her family, not to mention the beast on the loose, Larissa was at wit's end with the school year. Time and time again, you tried reminding yourself that this semester was one of the worst the headmistress had ever seen, but you couldn’t help but feel forgotten about, in a way. She was always so tired and completely unwilling to share the burden with you, making it nearly impossible to support your girlfriend. 

Two days prior, you waited up for her, watching her trudge into the bedroom, strip herself of her clothes, and crawl into bed. Sleepily, you gather her into your arms and gently dance around your feelings as you pull the pins from her hair, “I missed you so much today, darling. I wondered if you would like to go on a date with me on Friday?” 

“Mhmm... I would love that. I miss you.” Larissa hummed, happy to have her hair loosened and her face buried into your chest. 

“How about that sweet little Italian restaurant that just opened in Burlington?” You scooch yourself down in bed, keeping your arm around her. The two of you had been dating for years, Larissa always keeping you level-headed while you helped her find peace on her craziest of days. 

You could tell she was on the verge of sleep from how her breathing began to slow just a bit, her grip around you loosening a tad, “Mmokay, darling... I’ll call tomorrow for reservations...” 

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, you whisper, “I love you.”

“I love you too...” She mumbled back, nuzzling her face into you before going still. You knew it would be just a few moments before she was sleeping, which made you smile in the fact that she was at peace. Even this short conversation was making you feel closer to Larissa, settling many of your worries about the two of you growing apart.

Well, that was until you got to the restaurant and waited... and waited... and waited. 

You sat in the restaurant like a fool for over an hour. Larissa hadn’t even bothered to call or respond to any of your attempts at communication. 

At first, you drove home fuming, ready to give Larissa Weems a piece of your mind upon returning home, but when you entered and Larissa was nowhere to be found, you broke down. You couldn’t help yourself when you curled up on the couch and wept as Larissa had absolutely broken your heart. 

Was a relationship just too much for Larissa right now? Perhaps Larissa was reminded of her old feelings for her roommate with Parents Weekend two weekends ago? Or maybe she didn’t really mean it when she said she loved you? There was always the chance she was saying it out of habit and it had lost all meaning to her. 

All of your ruminating had you spiraling. Your whole body shook from the sobs and the decorative pillow on the couch was soaked with your tears. How could you and Larissa have fallen this far? You would do anything to make her love you as she once had. 

The front door opened with a jolt, Larissa slamming it behind herself when she saw your form sitting on the couch. With her deep rapid breaths and the way her eyes narrowed in on you, she was in an absolute rage, “Where were you?!”

“Where was I?! Where have you been? What is wrong with me?” You began to verbalize your spiraling, shouting straight back at your girlfriend, deeply conflicted by your feelings of anger and sadness, “I just don’t know what I can do to make you love me! I can- I can be different. I can change. What do you want from me? Do you want me to be more like Morticia? I’ll do whatever you want... Please... I love you...”

“Nothing is wrong with you! I just waited like a fool for hours and you didn’t show up!” Larissa circled the couch and dropped onto the cushion next to you, ready to argue. Her brows furrow at the mention of Morticia’s name, the sight of you weeping so openly bringing tears to the woman’s eyes, “I don’t know why you even mention her! I love you, not her.”

“What do you mean I didn’t show up? You didn’t show up!”

“I was sitting there at a beautiful, romantic, candlelit dinner waiting for you! You are the one who bothered not to show!”

“Candle-lit? The place isn’t that fancy! Don’t pretend you were there!”

“It’s a five-star restaurant! What do you mean it isn’t fancy?” Larissa’s tears were fading into a cry-laugh, her anger fading into an amused confusion. She reached into her coat pocket, pulling a handkerchief to dab at your tears. 

You spoke with a slight shake to your voice, “We went to different restaurants... Didn’t we?” Her soft laughter began to make you laugh, coming to realize that you had been at different restaurants, standing one another up while being stood up. Larissa’s beautiful hand reaching out, coming to grasp your face.

You dove forwards, wrapping your arms around Larissa’s middle, and felt her arms hold you tight. Her tone was thick with regret, “I think we did.” 

“I’m sorry, Riss...” You mumbled into her neck, the floodgates had opened and all of your emotions were ready to come pouring out. There was so much you had kept from Larissa during the previous months and now you were ready to divulge it all with her. 

“Honey, it was just one big misunderstanding...” Your girlfriend attempted to soothe you once more, hand to the back of your head as she cooed to you, worried you still felt guilt for the switch-up. 

Gripping her a little tighter, you crawled into Larissa’s lap, spilling your heart to the woman before you in hopes she could come to understand all that you had been feeling, “No... I’m sorry that life has just been so much recently. I’m sorry you are overworked and that I can’t do anything to help you.”

“Darling...” Larissa gathered your face in her hands, thumbs stroking your cheeks, “You keep me sane. Coming home to you each night... Just seeing you in bed waiting for me is... everything. From all of this, the one thing I’ve realized is how I can’t live without you.”

Her words were an incredible comfort to hear as you returned the sentiment, “I can’t live without you. I love you so much, Larissa.” You turned your face into her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm, your eyes not leaving hers. 

The headmistress chuckled, shaking her head as you hadn’t quite understood where she was going with her thoughts. Her hands on your face dropped, one coming to grasp your hand while the other reached into her jacket pocket, her gaze was more intense this time, “No... Darling... I truly cannot live without you.” 

You finally understood when your eyes gazed down and saw the small box at Larissa’s fingertips. The beating of your own heart became rapid as you could hardly comprehend what was happening in this moment. After all of this, all of the pain and heartache you put yourself through, your girlfriend, your love, your everything wanted to marry you. 

“Rissa...?” You questioned, still not able to fully understand how she could be proposing after all of this. 

“Marry me... Please. I can’t live without you.” Larissa wasn't quite asking as much as she was pleading with you. She needed to know you would be by her side always. To be her peace and bring her sanity in the darkest times of her job. 

You must have confused the woman as you shook your head ‘no’ out of pure disbelief, but your words quickly countered your actions, “Yes, yes, a million times yes.” Rather than put the ring on your finger, you dove into Larissa’s arms, tackling her to the couch and pressing a deep, loving kiss to her lips. 

Tonight had been a rollercoaster, but you knew Larissa had been your rock and now she would be until death do you part. 

#gwendoline christie #gwen christie #larissa weems #principal larissa weems #principal weems #principal weems x reader #larissa weems x reader #angst #hurt/comfort #fanfic #oneshot #wednesday netflix

[caesium-55]

Lewis just wants to sleep. He's tired. He just arrived yesterday from Las Vegas and he needs to grant himself a lazy day or else, he'll go insane. He already planned out a perfect morning. You, on the bed with him in the most innocent sense—Lewis wouldn't mind sex because sex is nice and all but he also loved just resting with you and basking in your existence and your being—freely drifting in and out of the realm of sleep, no annoying alarm waiting to ruin his morning with that god-awful buzzing nose, basking in the silence and peace of a morning in the quiet part of Monaco, and letting the hours pass by without care. Then, when you both get sick of the sheets, you go down and grab breakfast in that café just across the building that sells amazing crepes.

But he wakes up and your side of the bed is cold and empty and panic sinks in his system quickly. He glances around the room. Sunlight peeks through the tiny gap of the black out curtains in the window. Besides the night lamp, it's the only source of light in the room. Your phone is not on the bedside table, Lewis notes. That means you slipped away from the bed and left the room some time ago without Lewis noticing. Usually, he'd feel it if you even just twitched and he'd wake up in a heartbeat, but the jet lag and the exhaustion that engulfed his entire body must have stopped him from doing so.

He sits up and rubs his face with his palms. He decides to follow after you downstairs.

The door abruptly opens with a loud bang, making Lewis flinch and turn his head towards. Lewis's face transitions from sleepy to shocked to confused.

You're wearing a gown that greatly resembles the type of gowns that the female cast of Netflix's Bridgerton wore in the show. It's a mixture of lilac and pink, both are pretty colors. Your hair is fixed into an elegant half-do with a plastic tiara to complete everything. On one hand, you carry a portable Bluetooth speaker. In the other, a microphone. You sport the most serious facial expression in the universe but nothing about you screams seriousness at all. Especially not with the funky-shaped eyeglasses that sit on the bridge of your nose.

You slam your hand against the light switch next to the door and the entire room brightens. Lewis chuckles at the sight of you, eyes twinkling with mirth. The room never feels more alive than it does now.

"Ta-da."

"Good morning, baby."

The intro of the song starts blaring through the speaker. A strong beat of drums. Then, you began to sing.

“After the war I went back to New York

A-after the war I went back to New York

I finished up my studies and I practiced law

I practiced law, Lewis worked next door—"

"Baby, you practice medicine—"

"Even though we started at the very same time

Lewis Hamilton began to climb

How to account for his rise to the top?"

You point the mic towards him. Lewis smiles and shrugs his shoulders.

"Man, the man is non-stop."

Lewis chuckles, amused. You are getting into it. You put your mic on your mouth again.

"Gentlemen of the jury, I'm curious, bear with me

Are you aware that we're making hist'ry?

This is the first murder trial of our brand-new nation

The liberty behind deliberation (Non-stop!)

I intend to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt

With my assistant counsel

Co-counsel—"

Lewis tries to leave the sheets so he can get his phone and capture you in video. You stop him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Hamilton, sit down."

"I'm sat."

You begin pacing around the room, hands waving around in theatrical fluorish.

"Our client Levi Weeks is innocent

Call your first witness

That's all you had to say

Okay

One more thing–"

You walk up to him and Lewis waits for your next move.

"Why do you assume you're the fastest in the room?"

"Because I am?"

"Why do you assume you're the fastest in the room?

Why do you assume you're the fastest in the room?

Soon that attitude may be your doom!"

Lewis shakes his head at you.

"Why do you drive like you're running out of time?

Drive day and night like you're running out of time?

Every day you fight, like you're running out of time

Keep on fighting, in the meantime."

Your number ends with you doing a dramatic pose and Lewis bursts out laughing, the sound mixing with the fading music.

"I love you so much. You have no idea."

This is far from the ideal morning he's planned out. This is not quiet. This is not peaceful. This is boisterous and obnoxious and too much energy so early in the day and every bone in Lewis's body still screams exhaustion.

But Lewis wouldn't trade this morning over the peaceful morning in his mind. Not when you looked so happy singing and rapping that Hamilton song. You theater nerd. God, Lewis didn't know he was physically capable of loving a person this much.

"Hey baby, if we get a son, can we name him Alexander?"

"Whatever you want."

Lewis wishes this morning will never end.

#lewis hamilton #lh44 #lewis hamilton x reader #lh44 x reader #established relationship #f1 x reader #formula one #formula 1 #f1 imagines #fanfic #hamilton musical #fluff #Spotify

[somehow-a-human]

The Ineffable Timeline of Season 2

Monday on Whickber street & Gabriels arrival.

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY

Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday -Thursday - Friday

I've decided I'm going to start chronologically breaking down each day of season 2 in it's own post and the discontinuities/weirdness therein! Complete with timestamps, notes on sideburns, the illustrated bible, AND SO MUCH MORE!

I'll be tackling the minisodes/flashbacks as their own lovely little break down posts so we can just focus on present day events for these!

I will be keeping a running tab on Crowley's sideburn length along with the scenes we look at, denoted simply as: Long or Short at the end of scenes he is part of. My theory on the sideburns goes as far as demonic mood ring, to timeloops, to television is filmed out of order and it means nothing hehe, but why not keep track for Somebody's sake?

So Let's get going then, shall we?

Monday aka Episode 1 aka The Arrival

Unknown Time - We see Crowley on a bench reading a newspaper (the Tadfield headline tells us Adam is still in Tadfield and still swaying the weather!) and Shax visits him and gives him his mail, and mentions something is going down in heaven, but we don't know it involves Gabriel yet, and we don't know what time this takes place so theoretically it could be the day before, or even days before, but let's just say, sure it's early in the day Monday. Short.

10:35 (Crowley's phone) & 11:35 (Crowley's watch) - Crowley throws away the mail from Shax; he's with the Bentley. Shax shows up and says the heaven business involves Gabriel. Long.

11:20 (Bookshop clock) - Aziraphale receives Maggie's note on his way to open the bookshop. This seems to be a consistent time with his opening hours as posted and the lighting of Whickber Street.

11:23 (Maggie's watch) - Aziraphale goes to forgive Maggie's unpaid rent and pickup his records. "I know what I'll be doing for the next 21 minutes!", I don't even need to begin to try and describe why this complicates everything but let's take that at face value for a moment to look at the timeline of events.

11:40 (Estimated time) - Lets say Aziraphale decided to listen to 21 minutes of music (regardless of what tune he's actually chosen to listen to) and when we next see him in the bookshop he's not finished his music yet.

~ I think we all already know this but this is the first time that time gets funky and weird ~

4:20 (Bookshop clock) - Maggie goes to get a coffee from Nina and while she's in the shop they witness Gabriel arriving at the bookshop. (Mind you he arrives from the far end of Whickber Street past the Dirty Donkey, not the Dirty Donkey elevator). Now let's say time was following our previous events, it's just before noon, you're Maggie so you go to grab a coffee from the cute gal who runs the coffee shop, sure all good. Makes sense to me. But when Aziraphale gets up to open the door to Gabriel we VERY clearly see the bookshop clock showing 4:20.

4:26 (Bookshop clock) - Jim tries hot cocoa.

4:30 (Bookshop clock) - Aziraphale brings the cardboard box and fly inside the bookshop, calls Crowley and asks him to meet him at the coffee shop. Crowley says he'll be there in "2 minutes".

4:32-4:45ish (Estimated time) - Aziraphale and Crowley meet at the coffee shop and discuss something going on in heaven. The mysterious "honolulu roast" sign appears behind Crowley in this scene. They head back to the bookshop and Maggie stops Aziraphale on the way to thank him again about the rent. Short.

Maggie tries to gift Nina a record and says she's getting something "end of the day", girl were you not there just 20 minutes ago?! Nina asks if she wants a skinny latte and she says "no I'd be up all night", so again, did you not get one 20 minutes ago?!

5:00 (Bookshop clock) - Crowley discovers Gabriel in the bookshop. Long. Crowley and Aziraphale discuss what to do about Gabriel in the backroom. Short. Crowley leaves the argument and walks through the bookshop. Long. Crowley is struck by lightning and locks Maggie and Nina in the coffee shop. Short.

Crowley's sideburns change length multiple times just in this one encounter in the bookshop.

Unknown time - Crowley is in the Bentley when Beelzebub shows up and relays the Book of Life threat to Crowley. Long. Crowley drives back to Aziraphale. Short.

9:02 (Nina's phone) - Nina and Maggie are freed from the Coffee shop by Crowley.

9:06 (Bookshop clock) - Crowley does the apology dance, and they discuss hiding Jim. Long.

~ Our second big weird time discontinuity time jump weirdness happens here! ~

12:40 (Bookshop clock) - Jim shows up at the top of the stairs, and the clock has suddenly moved to 12:40 or I guess 8:00 depending on a which hand is the hour hand truther you are. Long.

-end episode, and monday-

SO!

WHY?

What is going on with these weird skips? Why did Aziraphale specifically say he knew what he was going to do for 21 minutes? Was it an in universe clue about the timeline, or was it a hint to the audience about the hidden record serial number Shostakovich clue that's been found by @sendarya ? Maybe both?

Humor me...

Lets say maybe Aziraphale had just gotten really drawn into his music and listened to it for another 4 and a half hours before Gabriel knocks on the door, and completely forgotten to open the bookshop, sounds like something Aziraphale would do. Okay that would be all good and fine with me.

So why then is Maggie going to get a coffee at 4:20pm and then going back for a tea 20 minutes later? Alright sure she's already had one coffee at 4:20 and she can tolerate one bout of afternoon caffeine, but not two so she gets tea. She went back 20 minutes later cause she's awkward and whipped over Nina, okay cool, all fine with me, We've explained away the first time skip!

But then why does the bookshop clock jump nearly 4 hours before the hiding miracle? I've got diddly squat.

Throughout all of the scenes for Monday, or rather Episode 1, Aziraphale's illustrated bible is open to the same image in each shot: "Joseph Known to His Brethren". So I can conclude at the least these scenes, are shown to us sequentially. As far as I can tell, nearly the entire season is presented sequentially. I haven't really seen evidence that suggests to me at least that anything is out of order like I have seen other suggest. There is one scene, which will be addressed when it's time comes in it's own post, but even with it's moving I don't see any real change happening to the story. That is not to say however, that we're always seeing sequential scenes from the same timeline. Literally anything is possible and it's so fun to imagine what season 3 will actually be. I mean, there is a literally bin of red herrings in the opening credits so clearly some things are meant to mislead us.

Let me know your thoughts or anything you can think of that I might have missed that stood out to you in any of these scenes!

Continue the Timeline:

Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday - Friday

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #crowley x aziraphale #good omens meta #michael sheen #david tennant #good omens 2 #good omens clock #good omens clues #good omens theories #ineffable idiots #im too ill to be employed at the moment and this is giving me something to do while i cant work so thanks neil #wish it paid my bills too tho

[isa-ghost]

Perhaps some headcanons about qPhil and the hardcore deities?

YESSS

qPhil headcanons masterlist

Okay so like, with all of these keep in mind my current personal headcanon/theory is that qPhil is hcPhil with his memory lost/altered by The Federation prior to arriving on the island. However it is that they got him, they wiped/suppressed his memory of his past just like other islanders and clipped his wings.

So TECHNICALLY these are hcPhil headcanons but also qPhil.

He's ofc closest with Rose. Unless you count Kristin as a hc deity. Rose was extremely fond and pleased of the way Phil would come along and take it upon himself to restore or touch up the builds that document the history of the gods, purely for fun and curiosity's sake. His love for the beauty of it all attracted her.

He's next closest with Ocean Overlord, though you'd assume otherwise because OO almost never personally connects with Phil in any way. No spiritual or supernatural signs, no personal talks or showing himself. (It's because the fool is sleeping or off catering to his whims). But Phil fishes a lot, and speaking as someone who practices witchcraft, you don't need to formally work with or worship a god to please them with the things you do. Fishing would be considered a devotional act to OO from a Pagan pov, so the fact that Phil does it so often and also cleaned up some of Flowerfall for him and Rose means OO likes Phil a lot. He's "a funky lil bird dude."

Phil is next closest with Blaze. She's also very hands off but deliberately so compared to OO. However, she still has a deep respect for Phil despite her distance and he admires the shit out of her in return. He thinks she's an absolute badass. His skills and wit impress her and his frequent visits to her domain and his love for her servants He & She amuse her. She's never seen a human so set on visiting the Nether frequently, let alone her domain specifically. Also he won't hesitate to take down a Piglin, and that's always a plus to her. (His gold farm pleases her deeply).

And ofc, of the deities we know of, he's least close with Ender King. Phil isn't exactly sure what specific event kicked off the way things are now, but EK just generally isn't something you want to mess with no matter what. EK probably disliked Phil from the get-go because he has friendly relations with the other gods, who all contributed to his failure & death. On top of that, the cave he rots in under Endlantis is like one of those haunted places you just Do Not Ever Go because it's very likely you'll go home with something attached to you (and Phil did). EK picked up on Phil's penchant for stealing & collecting cool things and how strong he can be (he has to be, he's a survivalist!) & did exactly that. He's been cooking on the potential vessel stuff since the day he met Phil.

Rose is the one who's always left him a sign of some sort that would confirm his assumptions about the history of builds and their relation to the gods. She never left him direct communication like she does with the books on QI bc she never intended to get that direct, but it's much harder to leave him subtler hints in a totally different world so she speaks to him via books instead.

I've said this before somewhere but basically the reason Rose (& EK, but him for malicious reasons) reached out to Phil on QI was not only to warn him of & protect him from EK but also to try and trigger Phil's memories of his life in the world he's really from and break him free of The Federation's meddling with his memory. She's had little success so far, kinda timed things badly given that the Feds had JUST locked him in the Birdhouse and fucked with his sense of reality. And EK kinda made that worse.

Ender King chose to officially act on his desire to possess Phil outside of the hc world because a) the other gods can't protect him as easily on QI and b) Phil himself is also nerfed and therefore easier to fuck with (thanks Federation <3)

Even now that EK's attempts to possess him are done with (for now), Rose is continuing to protect Phil and his family. She intervened when the Purgatory workers attacked, she'll intervene on other threats. But she only can if he's not around others. She's trying to keep herself secret from anyone outside the Death Family. Though she wouldn't be object to Fit knowing since he knows about EK. And she likes Bagi too. It's just easier to not start making tons of exceptions. Though overall, Phil is the one who's more strict about keeping the deities secret. Rose is more lax about it but acknowledges it's easier this way.

Part of why EK is the lil asshole that he is is bc he Knows Phil and Rose want the gods kept secret so he went out of his way to be like HEEEEY THIS IDIOT BIRD HAS A SECRET OOOO and intentionally made it look like it was a dark secret at that. Sewing mistrust among Phil's allies further isolates him and makes him an even easier target. : )

Phil has a feeling Blaze wants nothing to do with QI (and he's right). Any contact from her will be done begrudgingly and probably not until the Nether is opened bc otherwise she has to not only realm hop but world hop and that is more trouble than it's worth in her eyes.

Phil's honestly surprised he hasn't heard anything from Ocean Overlord while on QI yet. Especially post-reset. He lives beachfront more or less, he fishes a fuckton as of late, he goes on boating adventures often. And QI's whole shtick is that it's a vacation island or whatever, which is like OO's entire vibe. Phil's a bit baffled.

Semi-related, Phil's insistent that OO isn't JUST a bit of a sleepy or lazy idiot. That's a fucking god. Who rules the ocean. The unforgiving motherfucking ocean. He truths OO as a crouching tiger hidden dragon in terms of power. He thinks it just takes A LOT to piss OO off. (*side-eyes Ruthlessness from EPIC the Musical and wrings my little gremlin hands maniacally*)

Phil isn't entirely sure of the inter-deity relationships/dynamics and leaves it at "it's none of his business." They can tell him or imply it on their own time, if ever. All he knows is that Rose/Blaze/OO strongly dislike EK and that's all that matters to him. Anything else is assumption on his part and he's just Not gonna do that.

If he didn't want to avoid being asked 9487385728 questions from his friends, he'd probably have lil altars of some sort for Rose, Blaze, OO, and Kristin to honor them. And they'd maybe have an easier time communicating with him through them.

He's been wondering if/when the other deities reach out to him on QI if they'll ever make lil domains or something the way Rose has made her Sanctuary

#qsmp #qsmp philza #philza #q!philza #hardcore season 4 #philza hardcore #qphil headcanons

[vintageshanny]

I'm curious - if you were able to have Elvis sing a private concert for you, and you got to pick the setlist too, which 15 songs would you ask him to sing?

Oh my gosh, I love this question so much! I could probably spend weeks (months? years?) trying to decide on the perfect concert list, but I tried to just go with my gut. But honestly, to see and hear him utter even one note live would have been a complete dream come true.

Trying To Get To You – This is a must. This is a song that I think he must have really enjoyed singing because it popped up in his shows throughout his entire career, and I have yet to hear a live version of this where it sounds like he “phoned it in.” He gets deep into it every time. It’s also the song that made me fall in love with him. ❤️

If I Can Dream – I get goosebumps just from watching this on a screen; I can’t imagine the way it would have felt to be in the room while he sang this. The power and raw emotion in this vocal just blows me away.

One Night – Another one from early in his career that he kept coming back to. The way he can’t stop himself from dancing to this in TTWII is simultaneously adorable and sexy.

Swing Down Sweet Chariot – I picture him really excitedly getting into this the way he did in The Trouble With Girls. It’s so sweet the way he couldn’t contain his love for gospel music.

Such a Night – I think it would be so hot to hear him make those sexy noises and moans at the end. And since it’s a private concert, who knows what might happen…😉

Any Day Now – I don’t think he ever sang this one live, but it’s such a beautiful song about the bittersweetness of love. I would have loved to see what he could do with it on stage.

Lawdy Miss Clawdy – Oh, what I wouldn’t give to see him accompany himself on piano for this the way he did on closing night February 1970.

Heartbreak Hotel – I love the way he sort of made this into a slow bluesy number when performed it live. And the piano riff is perfection to me.

My Babe – I love blues music, and he makes this song so sexy when he performs it with his little ad libs. Phew…

Just Pretend – I mean, the riffs he threw into this song during his performances. Enough said.

Funny How Time Slips Away – His performance on this always sounds so effortless, and it’s another one where every live performance sounds amazing to me.

Tomorrow Never Comes/Make the World Go Away – I’m cheating and putting these together because I would love to hear this kind of powerhouse vocal performance live.

You’re the Reason I’m Living – As far as I know, he just sang this once, as kind of a dedication of love to his audience. It would have been amazing to witness that.

If You Talk in Your Sleep – This is such a funky song, and I love how he was just grooving up on stage when he performed it live.

Unchained Melody – There are really no words to describe how beautiful/special/meaningful it would be to hear this one. This exemplifies to me how he gave his all to his fans to the very end.

Honorable mention: I Can’t Stop Loving You - Something about his live versions of this and how passionate they are gives me a whole new appreciation for this song.

If anyone wants to reblog or comment with their own list, I’d love to read it! ❤️😘

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S

IMDB BLURB: A troubled security guard begins working at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. During his first night on the job, he realizes that the night shift won't be so easy to get through. Pretty soon he will unveil what actually happened at Freddy's.

WARNINGS: It's pg-13 dude.

RATING: It's not horror, but it is FNAF.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER:

Munch: SO it's time for us to watch Five Nights at Freddy's. I previewed this last night but Biscuits refused to watch it until now.

Biscuits: I don't have any tequila, I'm sad about this. I do have whiskey.

M: I unfortunately must remain sober. Everyone seems to love this movie, I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm just a curmudgeon.

B: Dude it's five freddys at night. It's like that wojack meme of them pointing at freddy. It's him, the fredbear from the night. By the way this movie was announced 8 YEARS AGO. A time when I was still invested in FNAF lore.

M: I admit to knowing a fair amount of FNAF lore myself, but it kinda ends after the 3rd game because I stopped caring. Oh yeah the movie.

B: What's happening?

M: A security guard is going through some shit. It's incredibly dark. You can almost tell what's happening. He's gonna get his face eaten off by a freddy head. As is par. To make you think this is a horror movie.

B: The new Saw movie looks great! Bold choice to do a crossover with Five Nights at Freddy's.

M: I do like the look of things. They did a good job of recreating the pizzeria in all it's glory, it's very accurate.

B: Blumhouse because of course it is.

M: The opening animations an obvious nod to the games. There are SO many.

B: I like the funky synth music. It's no Toreador March, but….Josh Hutcherson has emerged from a decade of irrelevancy! Formerly known for his critically acclaimed role in Trapped In An Island with Josh Hutcherson.

There make be snakes!

M: He's a decent dude, he should have had the fame that Jennifer Lawrence had. Josh, I mean MIKE, has a sister he has to take care of and he's a security guard at…some mall. Doesn't matter. He's into dreams.

B: He hasn't aged a day, he's just acquired some facial hair. Now he's chasing some kid and his dad, he thinks he just witnessed a child abduction but actually…

M: He just beat the shit out of some dude for no reason. And now the employment department!

B: This is the kind of discrimination single dads face on a daily basis, Josh.

M: And now Matthew Lilliard, who is COMPLETELY SQUANDERED in this movie. He has never put less than 1000 percent cunt into every role and they wasted him.

B: Two months at a job? Me too, Josh.

M: His uh…job counselor is kinda sus.

B: Listen bud you have limited job options, join the club.

M: Are you suggesting we get a job at the FNAF pizzeria?

B: I wish all job counselors were this honest. The hours are bad, the pay is awful…

M: They keep not saying his last name which I guess is supposed to be a twist so we think he's Mike Afton but the twist is he's Mike Schmidt. No spoilers tho.

B: The twist is he's Michael Myers! He has a weird little sister and she does creepy things.

M: Possibly psychic. Very sixth sense going on here. Mike has a bit of a pill problem and somehow can go to sleep listening to the most annoying bird sounds in all existence. ASMR you're trapped in an aviary.

B: I remember this part of the FNAF lore. Where he has a little brother who gets kidnapped. Is this canon? I think they made this up for the movie.

M: It's not.

B: Why does he have a child?

M: It's his sister.

B: So his parents just popped out another one 20 years later???

M: Sure, why not. And now the awful Aunt and the best character in this whole movie. DOUG the lawyer. I love him. She wants custody of the sister, Abby. Mike doesn't want this. He's kind of a jerk about it though.

Doug is the most relatable character in the movie tbh

B: There has to be some sort of like…inciting factor. We gotta have some reason why he's gotta work at five nights at fredericks. He's gotta keep custody of his sister. Finally, Five Nights at Freddys is in the Five Nights at Freddy's movie. If I'm in the movie theater with my five year old son, he doesn't care about Josh Hutcherson! He wants to see the funny guy from the youtube video!!

M: Well TOO BAD! Because there's a lot more Josh Hutcherson than Freddy's.

B: What year is it?? It's implied to still be the 80's but the place is all closed down and they have an old looking tv? They gotta keep it ambiguous or people would start talking about the bite of 87 or whatever.

M: There are so many easter eggs. The celebrate poster from the game, the fucking desk fan, the training video, I could go on and on.

B: This training video is def 80's. This technology existed in the 80's btw, the government was just hiding it from everyone. Actually they're alive because ghosts and not lithium batteries but…What a great analog horror video. I'm subscribing to this channel.

M: Balloon boy jump scare! Nothing ever happens on night 1 though. So Mike is just gonna take a walky and then take a nap.

B: I can almost see anything in this fucking movie! It's so dark! It's like watching a Zack Snyder movie. Maybe in a theater it would look better...?

M: I really think it's just the fucking death of film lighting period. I do think the animatronics look good. They look really damn good.

B: They looked kinda crap in the trailer. Sleempy Mike. Now he's having more PTSD nightmares about his brother getting kidnapped.

M: But wait! There's more chilluns! In his dream, as is normal.

B: We're the children from the FNAF who got murdered.

M: You are correct. 6 am reference! Time to go home. Mike isn't paying his babysitter.

B: It's nice to have a girl who will watch his sister for free. I assumed they died in cancer/plane crash. Sparky's is a reference. That's MatPat.

M: The babysitter is sus. And her other friend and the evil aunt are having lunch while conspiring against Mike. I love Doug.

B: So the Aunt is like…the villian…the antagonist character?

M: I mean…sort of. It's possible she's in cahoots with Afton on some level but it's never confirmed. Back at home Mike is being a terrible parent again and Abby wants to go to FNAF world with him but this is a really bad idea. Now…if you were a criminal….and you wanted to make Mike look bad, when would you go trash the place?

B: When he's there.

M: Thank you. Mike is asleep again.

B: Thanks Blumhouse I can almost see what's going on in the movie. How many times are we gonna see sweaty Josh running around in a forest in this movie?

M: You have no idea. He's dreaming of the FNAF kids again because he thinks they know where his brother is. One of them cuts him and he bleeds IRL.

B: Wow I was scare.

M: And now there's a cop at the door. As is also normal and part of the FNAF canon.

B: Vanessa is a reference.

M: That's not a reference, that's part of the canon! Because why not.

B: They had to put some shit from security breach in here cos it's the new one.

M: Vanessa suspiciously knows a lot and isn't giving us any info why.

B: Mike, just Mike. No last name.

M: Vanessa is here to give us some EXPOSITION. Because fuck show don't tell!

B: It's great that all these arcade machines are still plugged in after 10, 20 years.

M: This part made me have Chuck E Cheese flashbacks.

A powerful bear...named Frederick Entertainment Fazbear

B: Playing covers of popular songs was a big thing in these types of restaurants.

M: Something something some kids went missing.

B: Back in the 80's!! Could you please tell me what fucking year it is??? This motherfucker is listening to a cassette player so unless he's some kind of hipster? I hated that scene btw. Go away I hate you.

M: Unfortunately she will be here so much more.

B: So the criminals are breaking in…after he's left???

M: Yes!

B: Even if you wanted to frame him, the CCTV footage is gonna tell them when you were there! But okay I guess?? Oh there's still money in the arcade machine? It's not like they empty those every day.

M: I love the random older man who's just hanging out with these teenaged criminals.

B: He's been bustin up abandoned buildings since back in the 80's!

M: One of them finds Chica's cupcake and it does a spooky and then Chica does a spooky. Almost all the violence happens offscreen because….pg13.

B: They couldn't make this an R rated movie because it's Five Nights at Freddy's. The people who grew up with it are all adults now but the target audience remains basically the same.

M: Bonnie does a spooky.

B: I literally can't see anything in that shot! Also appreciate the attempt to get away with a huge bag of COINS, the heaviest and least valuable denomination of money you can get. You might have 50 bucks MAX in quarters.

Also Bonnie. he's cool.

M: The point is that they're all getting murdered. Offscreen. Very darkly. And yet they did not even try to bother Mike.

B: Mike left!

M: It's been two nights he's been there though!

B: Okay…I guess.

M: Freddy bites Max the babysitter completely in half. But we only see the shadow.

B: We get Plato's allegory of the cave violence! We never get to see it directly.

Also Sparky the Dog. he's cool.

M: Back at home Abby draws more pictures and Mike Mike's all over the place while she magically finds the custody papers.

B: They're watching public domain cartoons.

M: From the 80's. Vanessa shows up at their house to tell them that someone broke into the pizzeria. She found Mike's pills.

B: The year is killing me, is it the 90's??? Early 00s maybe? If it was the 10's everyone would be on their smart phones. Is this really criminal negligence?? He didn't lock the doors to this ABANDONED BUILDING!!!?? IT'S ABANDONED!!!

M: Now Mike is gonna exposit all over Vanessa about how he takes the pills to try and remember the dream of when his brother was taken in a lucid dream every night. He's very talented to have the same dream every night.

B: I really hate Vanessa, she's completely insufferable.

M: I agree. Also can I take a moment to talk about how fucking SLOW this is. The pacing is awful.

B: I don't give a shit. I don't care about your dreams. Shut up. I'm here with my 10 year old who wanted to see the funny Fazbear on the screen and he's ASLEEP right now! That wasn't even english on the walkie talkie, when cops talk on those they don't just go GNWEUIFHB98FHNWIEFNEI

M: Your son is now 10???

B: Shut up! I don't even have a son!

M: We are halfway through.

B: I do not understand. What even is gonna happen.

M: So Mike is gonna take Abby to work at FNAF but I gotta stop for a minute because…people DIED in there. Did Vanessa find the bodies? Are the bodies still there? Did someone clean them up? She didn't even mention that to Mike????

B: Who called the police to report the break in?

M: If they did, did only Vanessa show up??

B: Is Vanessa even really a police officer?

Vanessa is lookin pretty SUS. (that's still a funy joek in 2023, rite?)

M: That's a very good question! Mike is just like, you're gonna sleep and I'm gonna watch the monitors and this is a totally safe idea. Abby is well known to behave.

B: I'm sure nothing bad will happen.

M: I guess he's gonna clean up. If he was Nick Cage this would've been done forever ago.

B: He's gotta stop and have a cola and play pinball.

M: Actually, he's gonna nap! Because that's the responsible thing to do!

B: All the excitement from the FNAF games you love like DARK ROOMS! NAPPING! AND OFFSCREEN MURDER! Well I guess that last one is fair.

M: So of corpse, Abby wakes up and fucks off. But it's cool because of reasons.

B: Bro…is this the only way we could convey the story of the missing kids…80 sequences of Mike in the woods? A lot of the people watching this already know all this. This review makes it sound like I just hate FNAF and that's not really the truth.

M: I don't hate FNAF at all, but this movie is so utterly middling. We're halfway through and 90 percent of the movie has been Mike dreaming. But now he's out there and the animatronics are all there and alive and playing with Abby.

B: He's gonna fight Freddy with a chair.

M: Just like in the games. They're well known to be friendly to children.

B: Abby is a special psychic child.

M: Mike is wigging just a bit as anyone would.

B: I mean in real life they're wired to the stage so…yeah.

M: Freddy is still looking at Mike like, you're on thin fuckin' ice.

B: Wow this movie is jam packed with chills and thrills and I am on the edge of my seat right now. To quote Arin Hanson, "Just…something happen, PLEASE!"

M: I mean some dudes got killed but...

B: I couldn't even see it happening! Hey Abby wtf is going on btw.

M: Her friends she's been drawing all movie are apparently the FNAF kids because of course they are. How she knows them???

B: You'd better start believing in ghost stories Mister Hutcherson…

M: Mike is like hey remember our dead brother who died ages before you were born? You drew him getting kidnapped, so…explain. Was it the boy from my dreams? Oh it was?

B: Trying to use her psychic powers to solve a crime but all they talk about is a yellow rabbit. Exploit your sister to resolve your own personal trauma. I don't see this going well.

M: Back with Vanessa who is at FNAF for some fucking reason, Mike and Abby show up and Mike is like hey did you think to mention that there are ghost kids possessing the robots? And now they're gonna build a fucking fort. The animatronics too. This is a real thing that is happening.

B: How does something like that even right itself….?

M: I have no idea. I don't know why Mike is suddenly on board with all this. I would not be under there with them.

Everyone's just vibin' :)

B: Mike is finally asking questions he should have been asking a long time ago. Vanessa explains the springlocks because that will obviously be important later. And Vanessa, who was like YEAH FORT is now like HOW DARE YOU BRING ABBY HERE.

M: Who the hell are you Vanessa, that's something you should've asked like forever ago. Abby tries to strum Bonnie's geetar and gets minorly electrocuted but it's no big.

B: Oh my GOD. Sorry Abby, I'm kind of an asshole.

M: So now he's gonna do an even bigger asshole thing and call Aunty Shrew to come babysit and possibly you know…take custody of his sister so he can keep napping. Abby is not happy. The Pharmacist is the second best person in this movie.

B: He's doing dream magic because.. it's…you know. He couldn't just do this at night.

M: It is night.

B: It was just morning!

M: It took a really long time at the pharmacy okay. And now for the UMPTEENTH TIME, trapped in a dream forest with Josh Hutcherson.

B: But whyyyyyyy.

M: The ghost children are like, hey give us Abby and you can dream about your dead brother. And he's like OKAY. Mike kinda is an asshole. He immediately changes his mind but that's not how a deal with the devil works. The kids run around him uh…slicing him up for some reason.

B: And now he's in the saw trap where the first security guy presumably died.

M: Good thing it's slow moving. But he gets out becaus he's the protagonist.

B: Okay so…the bodies are still here. There's some gore. That's your PG-13 right there.

M: In the super secret room nobody can ever find but two people have now stumbled into. Back with evil Auntie, Abby is hiding in her room and Freddy is just there.

B: Frederick is in the house. You somehow didn't hear him enter even though he must weigh a ton. Like as much as a small car. He's murdered Auntie Jane.

M: And now the chillest taxi driver on earth who is somehow fine giving a ride across town to a small child and a giant animatronic.

I gifed the animatronics because they're the most interesting thing on screen but trust me, these gifs severly overstate how much they are in the movie.

B: How does Freddy even fit in a human sized car?

M: I don't know.

B: Vanessa is tending to Mike's wounds. She conveniently found him. They tried to kill him. Yeah…they do that. Why did you just leave the bodies there Vanessa? And why haven't they started to decay?

M: Vanessa is still not telling us shit. But Mike tells her that he said yes to giving Abby to them and she tells him they're gonna make her like him.

B: In the movie a lot of things aren't very clear. Vanessa tells us that the bodies of the dead kids are in the animatronics.

M: Like…how would people NOT NOTICE. But this is canon.

B: How does Vanessa know all this?

M: She tells us about AFTON.

B: The man behind the slaughter. The purple fellow. Okay, that's not canon that he's her father?

M: Hell if I know, I stopped following lore well before Vanessa showed up. Also somehow Afton killed Mike's brother.

B: Where did he put Garrett's body?? That's like SIX children now, are there six kids in each animatronic??

M: Vanessa's master plan is to taser the animtronics that are somehow being controlled by ghost children who are being controlled by William Afton. But she's not gonna go with Mike because Afton is her dad and stuff.

B: Let's fix that with a controlled shock. It's a good thing it's taking Abby a long time to get murdered.

M: Freddy considers murder and then reconsiders. Abby is being taken by Chica to the back room to be put into a device that looks suspiciously like the Baby animatronic. Meanwhile Mike is tasering Freddy and Bonnie.

B: I never understood what Chica did in the band anyway. Backup vocals? There's no way they could feasibly be playing this music with just one guitar. My suspension of disbelief is totally destroyed, Mister Fredbear. Don't you need to re-arm a taser?

M: Yep. But he gets Abby.

B: You've been an idiot about most things, Mike. To be fair. You should go.

M: The cupcake looks silly attacking but I do like it's design. I actually like the animatronics a lot and it would kick ass if they were like…

B: IN THE MOVIE!! For more than like 20 minutes of screen time in this two hour long movie.

M: See also, Matthew Lilliard. They squandered all the best parts of this movie. In favor of an hour of dream sequences. Abby and Mike again get separated but she hides in the ball pit and now….the best part of the movie. Golden Bonnie is here. Who is also Afton but no spoilers.

B: Me in the Dashcon ballpit.

M: Vanessa shows up 20 minutes late to the party with uh…nothing. I do love the way they did the whole golden bonnie thing. Though I'm really unsure about how he's controlling them? Vanessa apparently has a gun.

B: You're gonna shoot your undead father with a gun? Oh he's alive!

M: For now. He is also the job counselor. To absolutely nobody's suprise. (editor's note: biscuits did not at all realize this while watching the movie) She shoots daddy but somehow that isn't enough to activate the springlocks. Afton stabs his own daughter as Abby frantically draws pictures to show the other kids that he's really the bad guy. Afton gets all springlock failed and they drag him off into the back room.

B: Well canonically all this happened a really long time ago, but the movie doesn't care about the timeline. I always come back, yeah, way too many fucking times, bro.

M: And now everything is great and Abby is happy and Mike looks exactly the same.

B: The pacing is…so weird.

M: They stop by the hospital to see Vanessa and set up a sequel!

B: Well I mean if there's one thing FNAF really loves, it's sequels. This movie is so boring. Can we visit my dead friends some time? NO.

M: laughs Yeah, no.

B: Okay, movie SAVED by using the Living Tombstone. I'm amazed that they got the license for this.

M: I laughed out loud, I fucking loved it. It's the best thing. Oh Jim Henson's creature shop worked on the puppets, that explains why they looked so good. Final thoughts?

B: It's just…really lame. There's a couple cool scenes and some cool stuff at the end but the rest of the movie isn't worth it. There's so much rich lore, SO much lore, and a rich universe that they had an infinite well of stuff to draw on, but they made up this whole other plot about Josh Hutcherson's family problems and it's just…lame.

M: I just really feel like it's takes itself way too seriously.

B: Like terminally ill seriously.

M: And they squandered all the best parts of FNAF. The animatronics should have been the FOCUS. Not the dream sequences. Afton should have been a MUCH bigger part of this. There was so much cool stuff they could have done but it's not about that. All the little easter eggs for the fans are great but ultimately…pointless.

B: And again, isn't this supposed to be for the fans? For people who already love FNAF? But it's not really.

M: I grok that in order to reach a wider audience you gotta kinda do that but

B: The FNAF fandom is MASSIVE! The majority of it is just like…Trapped in Freddy Fazbears with Josh Hutcherson.

M: Fair.

B: And like…if you like the movie that's fine. For me it's just kinda meh. It's not something I would watch again on purpose. It just made me wanna watch Willy's Wonderland again. Not worth the 8 year wait time.

M: 8 years…and this is what you came up with?? 8 years and Doug was the best part of the movie? I don't hate it. I don't love it. I'm a fan of the FNAF games, I just feel like it's a massive missed opportunity and that people need to remember how to light a fucking film. I'm tired of Hollywood just giving us the most banal experience possible for whatever reason.

Munch and Biscuits out, yo.

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie review #munchflix #movie review #william afton #josh hutcherson #fnaf spoilers #steve raglan #matthew lillard

[seokjinsonlyone]

btw i love how accurately you depict each member cuz 99% of bloggers here make bts seem like discord daddies 😭

but who do you think in bts would be the scariest in an argument with their partner?

to me, I feel like the maknae line would be scary if you made them angry enough like imagine jk swole tatted ass yelling at you and having you backed into a corner idk

listeeeennnn as sexy as they can be sometimes, me and the tannies just go back way too far to only see them in that occasional state of being like… i’ve seen jimin kick himself out of a chair and hobi play celine dion out his nostril on a recorder like u just gotta be fr from time to time 🫡 that being said

i don’t think jk would be the scariest like he may be big nd buff but he’s still a baby our kookoo baby star candy angel prince puppy would get more upset than anything in an argument like i can see him just getting really exasperated if he was tryna explain himself to you but you won’t hearing or believing him like he’ll be more ready to cry than anything like he’s just so accustomed to being our baby light bulb funky little pop star golden maknae that he’s just used to sitting there and taking it so i really believe that in an argument he wouldn’t be that aggressive however i do think that if you pushed him hard enough he would get loud wit you for a second just to shut you up before you make him reach his limit. scary meter: [5/10]

you know who i do think is really scary tho? hobi 😳. he may be all smiles and giggles and sunshine but when you piss him off the dark clouds roll in fr 😬 like say the wrong thing on the right day and you gon be in for something treacherous keep in mind this the same man that threw a banana at jungkook like the last time i heard of throwing a banana at someone was in mario kart now i can’t really see him raising his voice but he WILL back u into a corner like i have a clear vision of him red in the face gritting his teeth spewing straight up venom if y’all get into it real bad. scary meter: [9/10]

now when you think about a bangtan fight it seem like jimin always at the scene of the crime. u got the mandu incident, the time him nd jungkook got into it nd ended up hugging in the rain, on burn the stage when tae nd seokjinnie was having it out he was scolding them afterwards like he just always there for a tussle. so when i imagine fighting with jimin i can just see you popping off on him saying this and that and him talking over you saying this and that until you say sumn crazy and he gon tell you to watch your mouth, get fed up and tell you to leave him alone and don’t call him or something, and then try to storm out (and that’s when you grab his wrist before he makes it out the room and kiss him on da mouf and let him push you up against a wall and y’all make up 😏 way before y’all come to an agreement). scary meter: [6/10]

i think if you were to fight with seokjin i can’t say for surely that it would be super scary but by NO MEANS will it be a pretty sight to see. like we know he like to run his mouth so if y’all fighting he gon get to talking fast neck and ears gonna be red and whatever he saying to you it’s gonna be MEAN if you push him there he will raise his voice but i think that’s about it like your feelings gonna be super hurt at the end of it bc he know exactly which buttons to push but if you’re ever scared it’s gonna be bc you think he leaving bc one thing about seokjin is he not afraid to cut a person off. scary meter: [4/10]

yoongi wouldn’t hurt a fly nor would he give the impression that he would hurt a fly like yeah he's agust d and we’ve seen that the inner rage does exist but he the embodiment of the pen is mightier than the sword like if anything his anger runs cold like you can go ahead with the fussing and fighting and yelling crying carrying on but he not wit da dramatics you can talk to him or you can go somewhere he not doing all that so would he be scary in an argument? nah. scary meter: [3/10]

joonie is a big buff man real tall and muscly but that’s not what makes him scary bc as big and buff as he is he is equally kind and gentle but there's a definite streak of unrefined aggression that lives within him and if you ever tapped into that it'd be bad bc it's like he holds back so much that when the flood gates open you will drown like downturned eyebrows nose scrunched up red in the face volume at 100 he's gesturing wildly got you backed in the corner ya know the WORKS but i do think it'd be a real quick burst tho like he's gonna absolutely lose it for all of a minute before regaining control of his emotions and he'd apologize for talking to you like that immediately. scary meter: [7/10]

hands down 100% tae is the scariest member to fight with like i'm specifically thinking of that time that rumor was being spread and he went on weverse saying he wish he could like stab the reporters with needles or something like that like if at all possible DO NOT piss him off because he is just so firm in all his beliefs and convictions like he is not backing down and i think he is also the most dramatic so if you take him there he's going to make the most of it like it'd be a steady build up him just continuously getting more and more upset until he's stomping around yelling at you like there's slamming doors and harsh words i wouldn't put it above him to punch a hole in the wall depending on the severity of the situation just like he is naawwwttt the one. scary meter: [10/10]

a/n: AGAIN SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO RESPOND TO THIS forgive me 🥺🤲 ALSO LISTEN can not say for surely how firm MY beliefs in this take are bc like i just am not intimidated by people like they just aren't scary to me unless they carrying a gun that's the only time i be scared 💀

#bts #ask of interest #bts fanfiction #bts headcanons #bts x reader #namjoon x oc #seokjin x reader #yoongi fanfic #suga x y/n #j hope fanfic #hoseok x reader #park jimin x you #kim taehyung fanfic #jungkook fanfic

[unexpectedbrickattack]

hi again 👋👋👋 anyway i would LOVE to hear any thoughts you might have about fake pep and his interactions with other characters if you're amenable to that! i love him and there is So Much going on there and you always have stellar hcs so id love to hear them!!

Ive been shying away from drawing/writing anything with fake peppino bc frankly ur right; there IS so much going on with him 😭 so much so that it almost feels impossible to settle on something concrete 😭 This is also bc I link Fake Peppi and Pizzahead together, which means I also have to work on characterizing that punk 😭😭😭 But I will still try to get my thoughts out

(OKAY THIS IS REM FROM THE FUTURE OR PAST OR SOMETHING AND IM HERE TO SAY THAT I RAMBLED SO FUCKING LONG THAT I DIDNT EVEN GET TO THE ACTUAL ASK OF THIS FUCKING ASK!!! I JUST TALKED ABOUT FAKE PEPPI AND DIDNT WRITE A SINGLE INTERACTION. SO UM. THIS ASK IS NOW ABOUT FAKE PEPPI AND ONLY FAKE PEPPI IM SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭 ILL GO MORE IN DEPTH W DYNAMICS N SUCH SOME DAY BUT NOT TODAY)

Fake Peppino is Not the first clone; hes one of the Last ones Pizzahead worked on. The ones you see in the war level are the closest, appearance wise, to Peppino, but they arent the brightest and will often behave like [insert test subject] but with Peppinos face on it. The emphasis on appearance first resulted in some physically identical, but otherwise, dull witted clones.

Fake Peppi was the first attempt at replicating Peppinos actual personality over appearance and it works moderately well, its just that. Hes a little funky lookin. Which is okay! Its the first attempt !! He’ll get more time to try again! They give Fake Peppi a little run down shop to manage (that he almost immediately converts into a pizzeria) while they work on perfecting the clones. But then Peppino actually storms the tower after being threatened w the Pizzeria Begone Beam, and hes tearing through portals so quickly that Pizzahead literally has No Time to try and work on these new clones. Fake Peppi is the First of this new experimental line of clones, and hes one of the Last. (Said bc i do intend on making my own little peppi clone someday heehee)

Fake Peppi passes as a pretty Normal creature. Hes a bit Tall but not absurdly above average. I drew him pretty goopy and lanky on my first (and only ) attempt at drawing him, but the more i think about it, the more I want him to just be a taller, slightly offputting Peppino. I like the idea someone had of Fake Peppi mimicking the stylized, cartoonish logo design of the pizzeria, so hes got a bit of a doofy lookin face. Its very round, with soft looking eyes and permanent blush on his cheeks. When hes trying to look Less Scary (bc he is a bit aware now that hes a little Off), you can see his mouth on his face like a Normal person. When hes relaxed and/or unfocused, it kind of just. Disappears. It makes his face look kind of like a little butt or a peach heehee

Fake Peppi acts pretty similarly to Real Peppino. Hes quick to anger, and quick to frighten. Hes a bit of a goof and he likes to entertain (which completely threw pizzahead off; hes like thats. Not right? Is it??). He has more or less the same mental capacity as Peppino, shares similar skills and hobbies, and enjoys the same kinds of food that Peppino does (with mild variation). Hes very relaxed and easygoing with a tendency to act a fool and be a little playful, which leads Pizzahead to believe that despite what hes personally seen (from stalking this poor man), Peppino is Also inherently a bit of a fool and a little playful and also capable of being relaxed and easygoing.

Fake Peppi is prone to the same kind of anxiety and panic attacks that Peppino has, only he does not have decades of experience with them to know how to manage it. So the time he spends with Pizzahead is Not the smoothest. The combination of Just Being Created and having Crippling Panic Attacks leaves him with an almost Blank Slate, memory wise, by the time hes left with the pizzeria. When Pizzahead visits Fake Peppi again to give him the lift key; hes basically a stranger to him :0

(Peppino tries to help with some grounding techniques for panic attacks, but since they Both default to self soothing stims, hes not that much help 😭)

Conversations are as smooth as they can be with his garbled speech; he can understand what hes being told, and he will write down what he Wants to say with pen and paper. Eventually, he ‘upgrades’ to a phone with proper text to speech, so he uses that quite often. I know the backwards speech is canon (or at the very least extremely popular) but its very hard for me to read and parse in my head, so i am deciding against that 😭

Hes hard to understand bc despite having a similar vocal pitch to Peppino (a bit high), it rubberbands in a way that makes it sound incredibly croakey and scratchy. The more excitable he is, the more incoherent he becomes. With (immense) effort, he can speak clearly, but its almost as difficult as someone trying to suppress their stutter; hes much more comfortable using his phone to talk. I can see him learning sign language at some point; Peppino does Not know sign language but he IS capable of learning, which means Fake Peppi is Also capable of learning.

Overall Fake Peppi is Peppino with enough variance to give him his own personality. Some of the things he does shines a bit of a light on Peppinos personality; its like, if Peppino DIDNT have to struggle with a failing business and crippling debt and being drafted into a fucking war, what kind of Peppino would you get? And as a surprise to Pizzahead, its a relatively sweet and goofy guy!! And if he took the time to interact with the Real Peppino instead of an idealized version of him (like pepperman and vigilante have started doing) then he would see that. Oh well.

#answered #chattin #fake peppino #long post #it was SO fucking long #i literally scrapped like 4 paragraphs this was so gargantuan #also #tibli i am so fucking sorry #i was like ‘interactions; got it!’ #‘i guess i should share my thoughts on him so that the interactions make sense’ #and then i wrote a fucking essay #and i would STILL have to write the interactions 😭😭😭 #so i think i will just talk about him more to make up for it #i want to draw some stuff w them but im doing soooo much comm work to afford an upcoming trip #im going to see my sister :)! i already paid for the ticket but i wanna get these people their sketches #anyway it means i have no time to doodle #so these asks are really the only way i get to still engage w this silly game #so there will be a lot more chattin on this blog again heehee

[hell-drabbles]

Okay cursed thought because my mind won't let me rest

But yeah

So

Christmas event right?

We know the premise of wtf happend and how it happened

And uh

Anglification companion.........

Yikes

But yeah moving from that

It's kinda funny how reader becomes a angel of sorts (not really) and Minhyeok became a demon of sorts and Ra-On is the only one among their friends that remained "human"

Also the idea with Gabriel is funny which kinda scratched my mind into thinking of a idea where Ra-On has a harem of demons while companion has a harem of angels

But onto the main idea that's been in my mind

Raqi❤️

Specifically Raqi with Companion reader

How would the dynamic be?

Dante Anon

Yup that is entirely the intention. Ra-on staying human, Minhyeok becoming a demon, if only temporarily, and the Companion being an angelic creature of sorts. It's a cheesy thing, but I'm trying to enjoy my cheesy themes so that's staying.

A harem of angels huh... I can just imagine one of the high angels going "Well, at least that one is cuter than you." Like, the angels legit prefer the Companion over Ra-on. And Ra-on would be dissatisfied for just a moment because he wants to be desirable to the beings he finds beautiful, even if they are trying to kill him like the scatterbrain he is. And then he would remember what exactly these angels did to the Companion and be pissed/scared all over again.

Now as for Raqi's role in all this... Okay, so Raqiel still ends up being kicked out of his position as teacher, but rather than being sentenced to being bait to the devils below, he's delegated to caretaker of sorts to the Companion. This happens very early on in the Companions stay, so there wasn't enough time for the possessiveness to really manifest. Raqiel's wings are still very much broken here. And by caretaking, I mean general wing maintenance, and just someone who will go out of his way to make sure the Companion is in the least amount of pain as possible as a person that is also not quite welcome in Heaven.

When Raqiel is not in Heaven, he's able to separate and cut off his relationship with his home, though not quite in a healthy fashion. But, since he's here in Heaven still and cannot participate in battle whatsoever, shit gets complicated. And add onto the fact that he wasn't beaten the shit out of by a mob of angels when they landed in Hell, so the yearning to be part of the masses wasn't broken beyond being.

But, when Raqiel eventually gets attached to the Companion, he will end up wanting to leave this place, if only for their sake.

Now as for the Companions feelings on Raqiel? Does not trust him obviously but isn't actively hostile to him, especially since they were witness to the breaking of his wings right before being assigned as their wing's person. The Companion is just, visibly tired and defeated while Raqiel takes out all the ingrown and blood feathers. Painful, oh most certainly painful, but it's the only way they can sleep at night. Companion doesn't trust that Raqiel will hold his loyalty towards them over his homeland, but only Raqiel is allowed anywhere near them.

Basically a little companionship between two people that have been dealt a shitty hand by those in Heaven. A sort of silent thing, almost domesticated in a way. You know, other than the Companion venting out all their anger on Raqiel when he suggests it. Because we can't forget this man is kinky. Companion gets to get their anger out, and Raqiel gets his relief. It works.

I love my fucked up man. He's so funky.

But of course, when the other angels start getting attached to the Companion, shit is going to happen! You know how these guys get. Jealous little things they are.

#admin #embittered companion au #oc.raqiel #dante.anon

[rimouskis]

In the interest of wanting to love life again: what was your favourite moment of the Penguins season this year? Any happy memories?

I had a really great season, man.

I saw games with seven different fandom friends and got to introduce three of them to the city for the first time. I got to see so many wins alongside them, including several friends' first pens wins. I got to watch the Pens win a Pride game, which was amazing and so fun.

I got to see Geno's 1000th game in Chicago (with my family, who'd never been to a hockey game before), and then flew back to Pittsburgh to see them celebrate it on home ice—with Geno winning it in a shootout that was probably the coolest experience I've ever had in a hockey arena.

I got to see Tanger's 1000th game and share that with a friend. Seeing the funky fun little warmups (which I missed for Geno's in Chicago because the arena workers were mean 😂) was super special and cool.

I got to go to the night of assists, which was a lifetime experience, special and made all the better by getting to share it with a fandom friend.

I got to go to a Geno fan signing with another friend, and say hi to him as he signed my jersey and thank him for signing with the pens. he said he was glad to sign, too:)

I got to live through contractgate, which was horrible-at-the-time but also a really unifying experience.

I felt a thousand, no, a million times worse when Geno pulled that dumbass "I'm gonna test free agency 💅" move this summer that made me just SOB in the arrivals lane at an airport on the very first business trip I've ever made in my career ahahaha.

and it's weird and silly, because I'm a person who really needs to reframe those upsetting moments into something good. it's how I live with them. I remember how hopeless I felt—my plane had been turned around, I was late to my first business trip ever, I was about to meet my high-powered boss in person for the first time, I was standing in the Detroit heat waiting for 45 minutes for a shuttle to take me to the grimiest hotel I've laid eyes on because my connecting flight had been delayed until the next day... and I was just crying into my mask as I tried to console my fandom friends and keep my wits about me because it kind of felt like the world was ending.

and it wasn't... about... the team. in a way it wasn't even fully down to being about geno. do not get me wrong: I was personally devastated by the idea of him not coming back. he's one of My Guys. I was in denial about what I would do if he didn't sign with the Pens. I was so torn up about it that I stayed up for hours even though I was exhausted.

but the fear that kept me up in that really weird, shitty hotel room was the thought that my fandom was going to circle the drain because of it. we saw what a ship split did to tk/np, didn't we? their situation was different from sidgeno's... they lacked the amount of history, the sheer years... but nonetheless, I'm really, really aware of how small and tight-knit our corner of hockey fandom is. I was terrified of the possibility of geno leaving and that fracturing this really beautiful chunk of the internet that I've called home for the majority of my adult life, at this point.

that didn't happen. not only did it not happen, but I was in a vacation dreamland, barely needing to work on a business trip in the most gorgeous fantasyland location I've ever seen, having impressed my boss and nailed my part of the trip. all my anxiety—over the trip, over my job, over my fandom, over geno, over sid, over my friends dealing with this—was real, but it didn't win. instead I practically experienced euphoria on the shoreline.

I remember getting the text from a friend at close to midnight or whenever it was. geno had signed. things were going to be okay. things were going to be great.

and they were. I had so much fun this season, man. I really did. I wrote 14ish new fics this season. I participated in three (four? maybe more?) fic fests. I went to so many games that I felt gluttonous about it. I talked to tons of people all over this fandom. my friendships grew stronger. I traveled to two different states to visit fandom friends. I'm flying across the ocean to see more in the coming months.

and like... that's what matters. that ACTUALLY impacts my life, more than a man leaving a team, more than a team losing games. as important as certain players or records are to me, that's all stuff I can come to accept (well... some things I can accept. I don't think I'd ever have gotten over geno had he left. I get nauseous thinking about it. let's not muse on it. it didn't happen and that's what matters).

what I wouldn't have been able to accept was this space—this fandom, this lovely little corner where we talk about and joke about and blog about and meme about and write about the pens—unraveling. I'm not naive enough to expect this place to be around forever, and it already looks radically different from what it was when I joined it, but I'm determined to help preserve it for as long as I can. I want this to be a fun space. A creative one. Someplace where we're having a good time but also talking about things that matter to us and learning about the sport.

I told you all in a post a long while ago after I went to seattle that I want to be more assertive and honest about how much online friendships mean to me. the fact that there's this online community is sick. we're all in this cool little boat together and that is impressive and interesting and unique and I love it. I love fandom, and I love THIS fandom, and I love Sid and Geno and what we do in the name of their friendship. this place has enriched my life in ways I can't even tell you about. it's so cool. it is SO cool.

so.... I don't know what else to leave you with but this picture of the coastline I sat at on a cool July night, with my career changing in amazing ways and my anxieties quelled and my body flooded with adrenaline over the news that Geno Was Back and my mind BURSTING with creativity over a new story idea that was billowing out of me like smoke.

I sat there, headphones in, a song by one of my favorite bands playing on repeat as the sun set and the world turned the most intense shade of blue I'd seen in my life. I kept mouthing along to the words—Die if I must, let my bones turn to dust, I'm the lord of the lake and I don't want to leave it.

I just couldn't get over how lucky I felt. what a life I had. what fortune had come into my life. how crazy it was that things, like they seemingly so often do, worked out.

if I REALLY wanted to be trite, I could say something right now like "well, it was about time my luck ran out." but I don't feel like it has. tonight wasn't fun, but this season isn't about tonight for me.

this season is about:

the look on my friend's face as we caught sight of Sid at the night of assists and had that christ-he's-real moment

starting a podcast with my friends and getting to create silly goofy stuff in fun new ways

my dad being kind of alarmed at me screaming down at the ice and getting to explain to my sister what a power play was

getting to boo and cheer with the fans (and my friends). during overtime and the shootout for Geno's 1001th game, and the ecstasy of him winning it all.

having players walk past me and my friends at our dinner tables randomly in the city and getting to laugh about how cool/funny an experience that is 😂

having geno help me win a game of blackjack, which will forever be one of the coolest things I've been able to experience

organizing trips for people who've never seen the city before and having them tell me how fun experiencing pgh is, which is so meaningful as someone who's done a lot of growing up here

meeting new friends, both online and in person, and getting to learn about them and write with them and create with them

writing. writing. writing. the thing I've loved to do since I was a child. the thing I want to dedicate myself even more fully to.

reading the works people in our fandom write and share, which is such an overwhelming act of community and passion that I need to remind myself of how extraordinary it is

sitting out on the edge of the water and marveling at what a life I had, literally none of it possible without fandom. nothing in my life has shaped my literal life path as much as this fandom and S+G.

this is overly sentimental and perhaps cloying, but god, do I mean it. I mean it so earnestly I can't even be embarrassed about it.

life is good. tonight was hard, and I saw things that are going to stick with me and probably upset me, but the positives outweigh the negatives as a rule in my life. I can't live otherwise. I won't tell anyone else how to deal with stress or fear, and I'm trying to get better at that, but in the meantime I'll leave you with that image of the big blue world all laid out in front of me and me feeling every feeling in the world there was to feel, because I was so overwhelmed with the previous 24 hours that it was all I could do to sit there and let it run its course.

I'm an optimist, for better or worse, because it's the way I make life bearable. and, because I'm also kind of corny, I'm going to go back to that blue dusk eating up the whole sky and melting into the water and remember how I felt.

that's why I'm here. I hope there are moments from this season that made you feel like that, too. I hope you, like me, feel that those moments greatly and meaningfully outweigh bad ones.

it was a good year. I can't wait for whatever comes next.

#warning.... this post is long #AND cheesy #🤡 sorry I am what I am!

[noodyl-blasstal]

Falling for You

It's @taznovembercelebration day 27! We're so close to the end of the month! Today's prompt was "Ow!" - just to warn you, there's some mention of blood, it's not extensively, but there is a grazed and bleeding knee.

Read below or on Ao3. Catch yesterday's here if you missed it!

-

“Ow!” Says Taako, loudly, really loudly, because if he has to be in pain then he at least gets to yell about it.

He debates just staying down. Maybe if he simply melts into the floor he won’t have to deal with the consequences of falling over and spilling his very large, very expensive, ‘treat for the week’ fancy drink down himself in public. His knee’s definitely bleeding, he can tell from the prickly pain, and also all the blood on it when he tried to look. Maybe if he just pretends it’s not happening it’ll be fine? No one can laugh at him if they think he’s seriously injured.

“Are you okay?” Asks Kravitz. Handsome, unobtainable Kravitz.

Because of course he does. Who else would witness Taako in a ridiculous moment if not Mr-Put-Together, Mr Casually-Wearing-A-Three-Piece-Suit-Every-Day-Of-His-Life, Mr Taako’s-Perfect-Man?

Taako plays dead. More time to think.

“Taako?” Kravitz sounds worried enough that Taako cracks an eye open.

Kravitz’s face is close, he kneels close by, hand out as if he wants to touch but isn’t sure if he’s allowed. Welcome to Taako’s world.

“Hey handsome, what’s a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?” Taako rests his head on his arm, casually, mysteriously, handsomely.

“I was just here to get a drink and… well.” Kravitz struggles to find a nice way to say ‘I saw your idiot self stack it and tip a bucket of coffee which was more milk and sugar syrup than anything else over yourself and that derailed my day a bit actually.’

“Well, as you can see, cha’boy’s all good, funky fresh, just, you know, hanging out.”

“You’re hanging out?” Kravitz asks, voice cracking slightly.

“Uh huh.” Taako doesn’t nod, it feels a little bit like his brain’s going at a different speed to the rest of him.

“Down here?”

“Yep, what part of this looks like it wasn’t on purpose?” What’s with this interrogation! It’s just plain rude not to believe his blatant lies.

“Taako, you’re bleeding.” Kravitz’s voice is so low, so soft, he’s close enough that Taako can smell his weird mix of old man cologne and bow resin and it shouldn’t be hot but it is every time.

If he’d known all he had to do to achieve this level of intimacy with Kravitz was lob himself on the ground he would have done it ages ago.

“‘Tis but a scratch, my man.”

“The source material doesn’t paint that quote as being the best defence here.” Kravitz is smiling now. Taako likes making him smile. Maybe he could do it more.

“Well Taako’s fairly sure all the important stuff is still attached. No need to worry”

Kravitz looks like he wants to test that theory. Taako’s willing to let him. He has some suggestions about which bits Kravitz should check on first.

“Hmm.” Kravitz sounds unconvinced of Taako’s okay-ness. “At least let me take a look at your knee.”

“Fine.” Taako says. He sighs dramatically, flawlessly feigns a huff.

“I mean, I won’t if you don’t want me to, I don’t want to touch you without permission or…”

Taako’s already rolling over. Stupid respectful idiot.

“There you go handsome, get an eyeful.”

Kravitz snorts, grabs a pair of latex gloves from his bag, and begins prodding.

“Does Taako even wanna know why you’re carting those gloves everywhere with you, kemosabe? Got a hot date? Or do you just look for men to prod in the street?” Taako realises a second too late the implication nestled in what he’s saying, but fuck it, he smiles through it and hopes Kravitz doesn’t mention anything.

“It could be both.” He says, absently, focused on making Taako’s knee hurt as much as possible apparently.

“It sure coul… Owfuck!”

“Hmm.” Kravitz frowns at his knee.

“Having fun there?” Taako tries not to squinch his face up too much as Kravitz prods again.

“Huh? Oh! Sorry Taako. I’m just trying to make sure the cut’s clean and the bleeding is stopping.”

“Uh huh. Remember it’s attached.”

“I should hope so… ah. Yes. Sorry, I’m not used to dealing with patients who can feel pain. Anyway, you look to be fine, I think it’ll close up soo…”

“Nope, no way, turn that horse around there my guy, why are you dealing with patients and why can’t they feel pain?”

“Because they’re dead.” Kravitz says, as if that’s a reassuring answer to the question.

“You have to tell me right now if you’re a serial killer.”

“I’m a doctor, Taako, I work in the mortuary.”

“Yeah, sure, that’s what they all say, if I had a gold piece for every time…”

“How many times have you heard that?” Kravitz interrupts.

“Look, cha’boy’d have one gold piece, but still.”

“Has Sloane didn’t mentioned my job then?”

“What do you think?”

“She didn’t?”

“She didn’t.”

“Shit. I mean, er…”

“Fuck?” Taako supplies, helpfully.

Kravitz laughs again, gold star to Taako.

“Fuck.” Kravitz affirms. “I thought this time she might have mentioned it as then it wouldn’t send you running because you were warned and armed.”

“Hey, bones, look!” Taako wiggles both of his arms. It’s feeble, he’s shaken, but it succeeds in making Kravitz laugh again. “I’m armed.”

“It certainly looks like it.” Kravitz drags his eyes appreciatively over Taako’s biceps and he feels a rush of gratitude replace the resentment towards Lup for making him do the ridiculous plank challenge with her.

“Cha’boy doesn’t exactly have a conventional job either. I don’t mind if you’re the grim reaper.”

“I don’t collect souls, Taako… only toes.” Kravitz can’t keep a straight face long enough to convince Taako of the lie.

“Uh huh. How about numbers, do you collect them?”

Kravitz smiles broadly. “I don’t know if I’m interested in a collection, but if the right one came my way I might be inclined to acquire it.”

“I hear 3 is a magic one.”

“Hmmm, no, I think I’m okay for 3.”

“42? Meaning of life, pretty spiffy if you ask Taako.”

“I’m all good on that front. Contractually I have to believe working is the meaning of life, otherwise the government can fire me.”

“You’re a hard one to please, Mr Reaper Man… how about, Taako’s number?”

“Now that’s a number I’d be very interested in acquiring.”

#TW Blood #It's not extensively mentioned but there's a scraped knee and it's bleeding #taz nc #taz november celebration #Noodyl Writes #Taakitz

[fictionplumis]

Here's a fun little idea that's bound to rife with conflict and hijinks, one which I was not planning on writing this much on but I did. If anyone wants to write an actual Steddy Hands thing about this, fucking go for it my dude, but here's my rambling.

A modern AU, maybe a college thing, where Ed and Izzy are roommates, nothing more. But they've known each other for so long they might as well be married, y'know? Ed isn't a very touchy guy, but he's comfortable enough with Izzy to toss himself over Izzy's lap and annoy the shit out of him, and Izzy does the bare minimum of fussing because it's Ed and Ed can do whatever the hell he wants in Izzy's eyes. Izzy does Ed's taxes and makes sure the registration of his motorcycle is updated every year. He knows all of Ed's obscure passwords and makes sure the bills are paid on time. Ed knows Izzy's usual order from every takeout place in a twelve mile radius and then some and goes to most of Izzy's fencing competitions and listens to him rant about his day. 

Izzy is obviously in love, in love, right? Yeah. Everyone knows that. Except Izzy has no idea how to function in that state and truthfully, he's pretty content with things. Does he have sad, rough wanks whenever Edward isn't home? Oh yeah. Does he have sad, rough wanks whenever Edward is home? Of course. Would he be happier and better adjusted if Ed fucked him on the living room floor twice a day? --Why am I even bothering answering these, we know the answer is yes. But even without that, he has Ed, so it's like, fine or whatever. 

And Ed loves Izzy. That's his little shithead. His comfort problematic dickhead. He finds Izzy's dry wit and sarcasm amusing, enjoys mildly inconveniencing him to see him scowl, and just in the most basic forms, loves Izzy. 

Why aren't they a couple then? 

Because, like, they're dumb. Obviously. 

Izzy is an angsty little shit that doesn't think Edward is interested in him like that and is desperate to keep things exactly as they are so he doesn't risk losing Ed. Ed is just content and chill to keep things how they are and doesn't think Izzy is interested in him that way. He's just a sexually repressed little dude in general and Ed isn't going to take advantage of that, not to his best friend, so while he absolutely notices how often Izzy stares at his lips when they get into a heated spat over something, it doesn't mean anything. 

(It absolutely means something.)

Enter Stede Bonnet, the funky dude that shows up one day at one of Jack's parties, IDK. He's all dressed up and just really excited to be a part of the action, guys! Now usually Ed has taken to spending these parties scrolling on his phone, laying on the couch with his head in Izzy's lap because getting wasted and puking over the balcony of Jack's dorm has gotten old. But then he sees this blond angel in a salmon colored blazer and slacks and is like, "Izzy, holy shit," and the next five hours of Izzy's life consists of sitting there between the two of them, nursing a rum and coke that isn't strong enough while those two prattle on about their lives. 

They hit it off instantly. Izzy isn't jealous at first. It's just his usual amount of malice and whenever it rubs Stede the wrong way, Ed just waves it off because that's Izzy, mate, he's always like that. Stede is wary but accepting. Izzy is bored and assumes Edward's infatuation will eventually wear off and things will go back to normal.

For a little bit there's this awkward space where sometimes just Stede and Ed hang out, or a mash of their two friend groups, but it's often the three of them, and Izzy is pretty much just there, off to the side, not really interested in participating, and Edward is mostly focused on Stede, which isn't too much of a problem because he's seen Ed get like that before. They'll fuck or something, and then Edward will lose interest, no biggie.

Now from Stede's perspective, these two are a thing. Which is a shame, because he's really become very attached to Ed, and for a couple they don't really have great communication skills. Izzy always seems jealous and annoyed that his boyfriend is paying so much attention to someone else, and Ed never seems to notice. Usually in a situation like that, Stede might try to draw Izzy into the conversation, or draw Ed's attention to Izzy but-- 

But Izzy's kind of a bitch. 

So really, it's Izzy's own fault that Ed wants to pay attention to someone who isn't a bitch. Like let your boyfriend have friends, Izzy, damn. Ed's at least making an effort to make sure Izzy is around, watching movies with them, dragging him out places and such. Surely a good boyfriend would try to engage. So that's on Izzy. 

But then during a movie night a week and a half in or something, Ed kisses him. In front of Izzy. And Stede's brain kind of short-circuits, meanwhile Izzy hardly bats an eye. He'd been kind of assuming Stede and Edward had been macking on each other anyway, just not around him, and when Stede gets all flustered and it looks like Edward is interested in taking things a bit further, Izzy just stands himself up, says, "Yeah, you two have fun, I'm out," and heads for his room because fucking finally. Now Edward can get this out of his system and things can go back to being normal.

Stede's whole concept of things suddenly shifts. 

Clearly, Stede is now in a throuple. 

Which he's down with! It's just... Even if this is more of a Stede/Ed and Ed/Izzy dynamic, he really should learn more about his partner's partner, right? It's polite. So while Izzy spends the next week warily eyeing Stede and Ed, waiting for the attraction to wear off, Stede is spending his alone time with Ed asking about Izzy, and spending their time as the three of them trying to get to know Izzy.

It's... Not easy. Because Izzy suddenly seems more bristly now that Stede is officially part of the dynamic, more resentful that Edward is spending so much time with the new guy, and Stede gets it! Ed doesn't mean to, he's sure, it's clear whenever Ed talks about Izzy that there's a lot of love there and he's used to Izzy's eccentricities and doesn't have a problem with Izzy's standoffish attitude--and the way Ed talks about Izzy, he's someone Stede could easily come to like himself! Stede has no problem with a bit of attitude directed his way, just... Maybe a bit less purposely biting? And maybe not constantly. He'd like to have actual conversations with Izzy, like Ed does, and some comfortable but companionable silences, a bit of dry yet playful bantering and such. Surely Ed really doesn't mean to spend more of his time with Stede than Izzy, it's just that Ed is pretty easily distracted and these two really aren't the best at communication. 

Now, did Stede ever ask if Ed and Izzy were a thing? No. Did he ask if he  was now involved in a throuple? Also no. Did he ask if Izzy was okay with Stede being involved with Edward? Yeah, actually. He asked Ed first, specifically, "Are you sure Izzy is okay with this?" to which Ed was like, "Pssh, yeah, 'course, why wouldn't he be?" and then he later asked Izzy, "Hey, are you actually okay with... This?" and Izzy gave him a nasty look and said, "I don't fucking care what Edward gets up to." You know, like a liar. And Stede just assumed they knew exactly what he meant.

All this to say that Stede is equally fucking terrible with communication.

However! Stede assumes he's great at it and clearly these two need some help, so he decides he's going to help them become better for each other, and maybe that would make Izzy less unbearable to be around. 

So Stede starts kindly suggesting that maybe Edward make some more time to spend with Izzy one on one, so as to not make him feel left out. He doesn't understand Ed's initial confusion, nor he does he see the resulting fight when Edward confronts Izzy to ask if he said anything bitchy to Stede, because dude, stay the fuck out of my relationship, you've been acting like a dick to him from the beginning. And Izzy says some shit because he's angry and jealous and then he storms out and spends the next three days sleeping on Jackie's couch. 

Stede feels awful, because Ed is all upset about what Izzy said, and while no, it wasn't fair, and Stede is pretty upset about it too, it is kind of his fault. He admits that Izzy didn't say anything to him, he just thought Izzy seemed a little... Jilted. And Stede doesn't want to get in between them like that. It wouldn't hurt to make more of an effort to show Izzy he was cared about, would it? 

And Ed's like, "Well... No. Guess it wouldn't. Guess I haven't really been good at that, just took it for granted that he knew."

They brainstorm some ideas, like having more nights where it's just Ed and Izzy, maybe have a nice dinner in, try to cook for him or order something a little nicer. Make it a weekly thing. And Ed mentions Izzy's competitions and goes to look up when the next one is only to see in it's a couple days and Izzy didn't mention that. He always mentions that. Why didn't he mention that? Shit, fuck, had he really been neglecting Izzy so much that Izzy didn't even think it was worth mentioning his competition? It's a big one, too. Now Ed's all sad again and Stede is like, "This is okay, it's fixable. You know about it now, you can show up and surprise him!" 

So Stede helps Ed make a big sparkly sign that says GIVE 'EM HELL, IZZY! Ed's shown up to most of Izzy's competitions for support, cheers him on, but he's never made a big deal of it like this. The sign is huge, florescent, embarrassing as hell in a way that Ed loves and knew Izzy secretly didn't mind. Stede declines to come, because it really should be about them. 

Stede is so happy he's able to help Ed find ways of being a better boyfriend. 

Ed's so lucky that Stede is willing to help him be a better friend. 

Izzy is... Embarrassed. And flattered. And he's so distracted by Ed showing up with his big sparkly sign that he gets second place when he deserved first but fuck it, it doesn't even matter. 

Ed explains that it was Stede's idea, and that Stede helped him make the sign, and that he's going to try to be a better friend and be there for Izzy more. And that he thinks Izzy should talk about his feelings more, and Ed plans on doing the same, because it's good for them! He cares and he doesn't want Izzy to feel like they never have time to themselves, and this is all Stede's suggestion, he really knows what he's doing, Iz, and he doesn't want our friendship to be strained because of him.

Which Izzy finds so fucking stupid and suspicious and clearly this is Bonnet's way of making himself look better and make Izzy look like the irrational asshole. Or he's just pitying Izzy, and that's just as bad. 

So despite all of Stede's good intentions and Edward's willingness to make time and be more considerate of Izzy's feelings, things do not get better. 

Then we have Lucius!

Now Lucius and Pete are an official thing, but they're open. Pete's not interested in anyone else, but he's supportive of Lucius and when Lucius starts up a somewhat consistent thing with Fang, they talk it out to make sure it's okay, and then they let Fang know that they've talked it out and it's cool. And Fang's talked about it with his platonic partner Ivan to make sure it's okay, and yeah, everyone's cool all around. 

Lucius has been hearing about Stede's relationship off and on in dreary sighs and he's occasionally offered bits of advice that's been mostly ignored and really, he just doesn't want to get involved, because he's met Ed, and Ed is kind of intimidating honestly, and it's just like, absolutely not his business. 

But then he's over at Fang and Ivan's to work on an art assignment when Izzy slams his way in making a fuss over something, and Lucius hears Stede's name a couple times mixed up with curses and shit, and Izzy is an absolute dick to him, and a dick to Fang and Ivan, and when it becomes clear they're too busy to indulge in his bullshit, Izzy goes stomping away muttering about useless fucking shitheads too busy drawing dicks to be of any help. Lucius is like, "What the fuck was that all about?" 

And Ivan rolls his eyes and is like, "Izzy's been going through some shit with his best friend dating this guy..." 

So now Lucius has two wildly inconsistent and dubiously accurate descriptions on what the fuck is going on with Stede. In his brief interaction with Izzy, Lucius has determined that this is a man who's only orgasms come from sad, furtive wanks in his room and it's probably been that way for YEARS now, like Izzy Hands is so sexually frustrated and repressed it's not even funny except for the fact it's actually HILARIOUS, and he's so glad that he never really go involved in this mess, because it means he can get involved now and wreck Izzy's entire life in a way that's very much needed for him. Gonna get that fucker laid.

Lucius becomes an agent of pure chaos on a mission. 

So the next time Stede looks all dour and is sighing a lot, Lucius is like, "Okay, lay it all out for me, what's going on Stede? I want to help." 

And Stede, like... Sort of, vaguely lays it out with the most recent problem and Lucius nods sagely and goes, "You know, maybe you're going about this the wrong way. Maybe instead of trying to keep your life with Ed and Ed's life with Izzy separate, you should be trying to bridge the gap between you and Izzy." And Stede makes a face and Lucius is like, "No, no, hear me out for a second. You said things were a little tense but mostly fine when the three of you were casually hanging out, right? And then it got a little tenser once you and Ed starting spending more time together. It's even worse now that you're giving Ed more time to spend with him away from you. Maybe he doesn't feel left out from Ed, maybe he feels left out from you and Ed. Some people aren't meant to have a boyfriend who has a boyfriend. Some people are meant to have two boyfriends." 

Which makes perfect sense to Stede for some reason. 

So he brings it up to Ed, that maybe they should all three hang out more, like they used to. 

And Ed is like... Tired. 

Because Izzy has been so fucking frustrating, and he doesn't know what the fuck is going on with him anymore, and he's not really sure this is a good idea because Izzy had straight up become hostile and unhinged at this point. Little do they know it's only because Izzy is so fucking confused as to what Stede's GAME is. There has to be a game, right? This has to be some kind of trick. Pity. SOMETHING. And he hates it, he hates not knowing what Stede's intention is, and hates that his suspicions are only making Ed pull away more because Ed doesn't see that something is fucking wrong here, he doesn't see that Stede is probably a conniving little shit that's plotting something and thinks he's so much better than Izzy, but Izzy sees it, he SEES IT DAMMIT.

At least with the three of them hanging out more, maybe Ed will start catching on. 

Stede puts himself in the middle this time, between the two of them. Tries to reach out more Izzy, rope him into the conversation, tries to be friendlier. Is met with nothing but suspicion, confusion, and reluctance because for the life of him, Izzy can't figure out this NEW game. More pity, probably. He doesn't like it. He'd rather it be Ed, but Ed is usually silent and sullen and uncomfortable on the other side of Stede, because he lowkey hates listening to Stede try only for Izzy to continue to be a dick.

A few uncomfortably tense hangouts later, and Stede, in a desperate attempt to bridge the gap, realizes he has spent the entire movie night holding Edward's hand, so he reaches out to take Izzy's too. 

He feels Izzy go completely rigid and chances a glance over at him to see him staring back in absolute bewilderment. Stede gives him a soft smile, equal parts reassuring and imploring, and rubs his thumb over the back of Izzy's hand. 

And all hell breaks loose. 

Izzy's on his feet yelling at Stede. Then Ed is on his feet yelling at Izzy. And Stede isn't even sure what either of them are saying with how they're yelling over each other but he wedges his way between them, tells them to stop, and Ed stops, but Izzy is still livid, still yelling, only this time Stede can hear something about not wanting your fucking pity so he just. Does the stupid thing. And shuts Izzy up with a kiss. 

And it works! 

Izzy is thoroughly shut the fuck up enough that Stede can now go, "I don't pity you, you stupid, stubborn man! I just want us all to get along, for Ed's sake if nothing else! He deserve that, doesn't he?" 

Izzy just stares at him in some mix of horror and shock. So Stede hesitantly glances to Edward to silently ask if this was a normal thing, only to see Edward looking just as bewildered as Izzy had looked over the whole hand holding thing, and Stede realizes, well shit, he might have just crossed a line. Because he knew Izzy was more... Conservative when it comes to PDA. After all, Stede had never see Ed and Izzy so much as kiss in public. They're liberal with touches, or WERE anyway, but even hand holding never happened. 

And he's just like, shit, I crossed a line, didn't I?

Izzy is still processing. Edward is like, "Uh... Maybe? Dunno. I should say yeah. Most people would say yeah. I always thought it would be a line of mine. If you would have asked me where my line was, I would have said yeah man, right the fuck here. Definitely a line. Like. Seeing my boyfriend kiss my best friend should probably be a fucking line but it's not? It's not. Nope. Actually. Pretty chill with that. Maybe not chill, chill probably isn't the right word, I'm not chill right now, but I think if it happened a lot more often I could be chill with it. No, but right now I'm just... Wow, Stede, you really just fucking did that, just went in there and-- Damn. That was kind of hot." 

And Stede is relieved and flattered and like, "Well, I mean... I just thought-- Wait. Wait, hang on. Friend?" 

And Ed's like. "Uh. What?" 

"Friend. You called Izzy your friend." 

And by that point Izzy's brain has started to work again, vaguely, and he mutters a hoarse, "Best friend, he said best friend." 

And Stede is just. Confused at first. And then he thinks about it, about all of it, and the mortification starts seeping in until he wails, "I thought we were both dating Ed!" And when they look confused he flails around a bit and goes, "I thought the three of us were in a relationship! I thought you and Ed were together but open, and then Ed started dating me, and-- and--!" 

Ed catches on first and starts laughing. Izzy catches on and shoves Stede, not hard but Stede lets himself fall back onto the couch as Izzy starts chewing him out for being an idiot and what the fuck made you think something like that, you imbecile!

And Stede's only defense is, "You two acted like a couple who had been together a long time!" 

And Ed's like, "Yeah, 'cause we've been friends forever! But Iz doesn't feel that way about me."

And Izzy's like, "Don't fucking put words in my mouth, you're an imbecile too!" 

Which of course leads to them actually sitting down to have a frank and serious conversation about what the past few months have all been about, and about Ed and Izzy's relationship before that. There's apologies made, heartfelt from Ed and reluctant from Izzy. And when the conversation peters out and Ed mutters, "Okay, so... What now?" Stede looks between the two of them. Ed, with a pinch of guilt in his brows. Izzy, looking away, shoulders set miserably but his jaw clenched in expectation of a blow, and Stede just says, "Why don't we start over? Try this from the top, but this time do it the way I thought we were in the first place. The three of us. I think, now that we all know what's going on... I think maybe we can figure it out this time around."

(Spoiler: They do.)

#steddy hands #stizzy #blackbonnet #gentlehands #gentlebeard #idea wont leave me alone so im throwing this out into the void #there is no adoption fee #besides like #linking me the fic or w/e

[walriding]

character info sheet.

Name. Miles Luis Upshur Ramírez

Name meaning. Miles -- Latin, soldier. Luis -- Spanish, famous warrior or renowned fighter. Upshur -- English, literally just means 'from the upper shire', but the fun fact significance is that Upshur was the middle name of the famous American journalist Bob Woodward. Ramírez -- Spanish, wise / renowned ruler / counselor

Alias.( ses ). Fun Mount Massive nicknames: the Host, the Apostle, the Witness, Little Pig, buddy, etc. As far as actual aliases, he's used various combinations of his four names on fake IDs before -- i.e. Luis Upshur, Miles Ramírez, etc.

two pictures you like of your character.

The money shot, the big cryptid moment, the only third person view we canonically have of Miles:

2. Probably what I consider to be the definitive Oscar-as-Miles photo, one of the things I saw and was instantly assured of my FC choice. It might sound stupid but Oscar is such an irrevocable part of Miles to me. I can't see him any other way, and having such a strong visual representation of him has always been a huge help in making him feel real for all these years:

three headcanons you never told anyone. Disclaimer that I have probably mentioned all of this at some point but it's been seven years of writing this guy and I fear I'm out of completely new material lol

He's never been much of an exercise buff but Miles used to be into running. He had a set circuit when he lived in DC and tried to keep a consistent schedule even when traveling for work. Never got to marathon level but did a lot of 5 and 10Ks, even a half marathon here and there. But it's not something he does anymore largely because there's... really no point. One of the benefits of being possessed and also kinda dead is you don't need to workout! Yaaaaay! Unfortunately without the endorphins and the satisfaction of exertion, running has lost its luster.

Prior to Mount Massive, Miles had a long-term boyfriend from college until they were in their late 20s. The last couple years of it were a tumultuous on-and-off-again relationship that started to deteriorate after he lost his staff reporter job and had to travel more. Prop 8 meant that same sex marriage was off the table, but they talked about engagement and building a serious life together. If Miles hadn't lost his job he probably would've proposed. But, then, if he hadn't lost his job a lot of things would've been different.

Miles is genuinely obsessed with roadside tourist traps -- giant balls of twine and other objects, weird architecture, fake alien sites, that sort of thing. The kitschier the better. If you're roadtripping with him and he spots a funky sign, he's pulling over.

three things your character likes to do in their free time.

Listen to music -- he's almost always got tunes on in the background but will sit down and really get absorbed in an album when he can.

Read -- mostly current events articles, sometimes a good nonfiction book.

Drive -- loves driving around the middle of nowhere to clear his head, even though it's not quite the same without the Jeep (rip).

three people your character loves.

Not technically a person, but the Walrider. Judge him if you want, but after a decade he's accepted that they're fucked up soulmates that were always meant to be <3. It's been a slowburn enemies to lovers journey, but over time he's adapted and stopped hating it for things that weren't really its fault. He's gone from denial to acceptance to tolerance to feeling genuine affection for the Swarm. Maybe it's too complicated to really define as love, but he can't think of a better word.

@mslangermann in some form in all verses always.

People with conviction. People who stand up for themselves and the things they believe in. People who are thoughtful and who care about something bigger than themselves.

two things your character regrets.

Not being a better son and brother before everything went to shit. His life choices and the prideful stubbornness with which he committed to them drove a wedge between himself and his parents, which trickled down into a strained relationship with his sisters. In hindsight, they were just worried about him and only wanted what was best for him -- but he was too absorbed with his career and trying to piece it back together to see that. He regrets arguing with them so much. He regrets not making the most of the time he had when he didn't know it was running out.

Somewhat verse specific, but he very deeply regrets what happened with @mslangermann's husband Blake after Temple Gate. Murkoff picked him out of the wreckage and brought him to another facility -- Miles found him while trying to dig up whatever he could about the cult. Blake was completely catatonic, and probing around in his mind revealed that there was nothing left of him mentally, either. Rather than leave him to suffer in Murkoff's hands, Miles elected to put him out of his misery. And still hasn't told Lynn. He doesn't regret doing it -- truly, there were no options that would have saved Blake -- but he regrets not being honest with her. He also blames himself a bit for not finding him sooner and possibly preventing tragedy.

three phobias your character has.

the dark

confined spaces

heights

tagged by : @demcnsinmymind ty!!! tagging: @cyberpawn, @slidethirtysix, @paramnesias

#long post #it's been a hot minute since i've really done an in depth meme for miles #i miss rambling about him <3 #(ᴅᴏᴄᴜᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴀᴄǫᴜɪʀᴇᴅ) ;;; ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ