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positivlyfocused · 4 years

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Sometimes I Gotta Seethe In Rage

Three weeks ago I wrote how every negative situation is positive. Well this week brought such a crazy-ass example of that, I shared it with all my clients. Now I want to share it with you.

This story is hilarious. I almost wrote "unflattering", but you'll see at the end that this story flatters me in the sense that I saw how this infuriating situation was also a massive blessing.

Summer's sun, blue skies and Oregon's hot breezy air called me out again last weekend. I love working outside along the Willamette River shores. I enjoy Ospreys above and salmon jumping skyward likely avoiding sea lions and their chisel like teeth.

I decided I wanted more of that, so I packed my bike. I packed light, my portable chair, my iPad and nothing more. I planned to finish reading Ross Douthat's The Decadent Society, its insightful take on current reality had my attention for weeks now. I anticipated exploring Douthat's take while enjoying the Oregon summer.

^^The usual spot I work from on summer Oregon days...by the Willamette's beautiful shores...

That's not what happened though

Oregon's governor recently eased lockdown mandates. With her decree, all of Oregon made similar plans. I expected a few people riverside, but wasn't prepared for crowds that showed up.

A forty minute bike ride turned into an hour while I tried finding suitable, solitary rest stop. I finally decided on a rocky shore devoid of human for lack of any sand. But I had my chair. I didn't need sand.

I parked my bike, set up my chair then settled into Douthat's narrative. Thirty minutes later, a couple with two dogs showed up. The young, tattooed Portlanders led their dogs to the water's edge, unleashed them and threw tennis balls into the river. The larger of the two dogs, a pit-bull, leapt into the water while its smaller puppy companion barked in envy. Then the puppy eased into the water, found it agreeable and went for a swim. I smiled then turned back to Douthat.

Minutes later, the puppy was licking at my bare legs. I'm not a dog person, but I can appreciate a cute pooch. On this day though, I just wanted to read in quiet on a beautiful day. It annoyed me that this dog suddenly was licking my leg. But what annoyed me more was the fact that its owner hadn't done his legal duty of keeping his dog under control.

I lifted my legs away from the pooch, clearly annoyed, which the owner saw. He came bounding to my rescue, scooped up his dog with an apology and returned to his spot. There, he put it on a leash. His partner too re-leashed the Pit-bull.

All that was nice. But it was too late.

I got hooked in frustration-momentum

Momentum is a powerful thing. Especially negative momentum born of oft-told stories. I've harbored negative stories about dog owners who don't keep their dogs leashed and therefore under control as leash laws mandate. So much so it's one of my "pet peeves" (oh god! no pun intended!).

Recently when I read about a "Karen" from Central Park Manhattan who made a racist false police report against a fellow New Yorker who politely asked her to leash her dog in an area where a leash law was in force. The fellow New Yorker, a board member of the New York City Audubon Society who happens to be African American, recorded the whole incident. The recording went viral and popular outrage caused the woman to lose her job and her dog. Reportedly, New York is considering banning her permanently from Central Park and the District Attorney is considering pressing charges against her for making a false police report.

This story came to mind as that puppy slimed me. When its owner grabbed it and apologized, I mused whether he also thought about that Central Park incident.

The problem was, I didn't shake the association, which would have been in my best interest. Comparing my experience to what happened to the Audubon Board Member wasn't really fair. But old stories about my pet peeve combined with that viral Central Park experience in my head creating momentum that swept me up.

For the next half hour I couldn't focus on my reading. My mind swirled around the association, my indignation, my annoyance and frustration....

^^I don't hate dogs. Dogs love me as much as I love them...sometimes...🤣

What happened next was no surprise

The couple decided to pack up and leave, having I suppose, had enough time at the water's edge. As they walked to the bike path, I heard the woman say to someone I couldn't see "Sir, would you mind leashing your dog?"

The irony didn't escape me. "Cosmic Justice" I thought. Little did I know said justice was just getting started...

I couldn't hear the what the person she addressed said, but I heard what she was saying. I also got the annoyance in her tone:

"Why aren't you willing to put your dog on a leash sir?" She asked. I turned, hoping to see who she addressed. I couldn't see that person. She continued.

"My dog isn't friendly," she said. The person said something I didn't hear.

"How many years have you been around my dog sir?" She replied. "I'm telling you my dog is not friendly."

Apparently whoever she addressed had done nothing, so she reached down, picked up what looked like a 40 pound pit-bull and scrambled over rocks the rest of the way to the bike path with her male companion in tow.

I was thinking about karmic kickback, wondering how the couple felt now since they themselves hadn't controlled their (little) dog. Which is why I hadn't noticed that not seconds later another dog was sniffing at my leg!

It's my turn...

I turned in surprise, saw the Husky, then darted around looking for the owner. Presumably this was the same person the young woman spoke with earlier. Finally I saw him sitting in a chair he set up behind me on the bike path's edge.

My indignance increased. "Really?" I thought. "Twice in a row?" What did I expect? I create my reality. Here was the Universe serving me a big pile of pet peeve....a second helping if you will, this time via a Husky and yet another irresponsible owner.

But wait...it gets worse. Or rather, I got worse.

I should have known trying to get the owner to do anything about his scofflaw dog would be futile. After all I saw that play out just seconds ago. Never the less:

"Sir, would you please come get your dog!" I said with force ten annoyance.

The owner looked down at me, at his dog and said "he's alright."

"I'm not!" I said.

The owner said nothing.

At that, I'd had it!

Now I was fully in rage. That's right, I was so angry, I was shaking. I wanted to strangle that damn dog and murder the owner. But I also knew it wasn't the dog's fault. So I directed all my rage (in my mind) at the owner. I wanted to first strangle him, then murder him!

I should mention I had the presence of mind at this moment to see the ironic humor here. A part of me knew what I was doing was ridiculous. It's just a dog. But the principle folks, and the momentum of my pet peeve had me firm in its grip.

Clearly this guy wasn't going to do anything about his dog. There was no way I could recover my state of calm at this point, not to mention focusing on Douthat's prose. I decided then to gather my things and head home in a huff, which took all but a couple minutes.

But I couldn't let it end that way. Noooo.

As I pushed my bike up to the bike trail, I made my "offender" clearly: white male in his 40s, beer in hand, listening to a transistor radio, minding his own business and cool as a 🥒. Perfect contrast to my seething rage, which at this point, boiled over and out my mouth:

"YOU'RE EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON WHO GIVES DOG OWNERS A BAD NAME!" I yelled in his general direction. I hopped on my bike and peeled away on the momentum of my righteous indignation. 😂🤣😊

That wasn't the end of it.

A half-mile into my return trip, it struck me. What happened here? Why am I letting this situation shape how I feel? How I feel is more important than how I'm treated. In fact, I know by choosing how I interpret what happens in my life, I can create reality. Here I was doing what a noob at all this "you create your reality" business would do...

At this point, I should stop and say I know sometimes I'm going to get pissed. It's just part of what happens when an eternal being comes into physical reality.

Thinking an enlightened person doesn't get mad sometimes indicates misunderstanding about how physical reality works. Physical reality intentionally offers variety: things I want and things I don't want. After all, how am I to know what I want if I don't know what I don't want?

How am I to know what thoughts feel better than others, if I don't have a negative experience every now and then?

That's what I thought one half mile into my return ride. And that's when I decided I had the power here. I had choice.

So instead of continuing to seethe, I decided to put my attention on something else. Something more pleasing. So I noticed the blue sky. I noticed the green trees. I noticed how much I like riding my bike, how good the sun felt on my bare legs and arms, how good it feels on a Oregon summer day. In seconds I felt better. My feelings reminded me how wonderful it is working from Oregon's riversides:

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That's when something amazing happened

The more I thought these thoughts, the better I felt. Then...

Ever had an experience where something happens, you react in a less than ideal way, then, later, you get a thought, an idea, an alternative way you could have responded that might have been more effective?

Well that's what happened. In my increasing happiness I received an alternative scenario that played out in my mind. Rather than throwing a tantrum at the guy, I saw my self calmly rise, gather my things and my chair, walk up to the guy and set up my chair right next to him. So close our chairs touched side by side. Then I sat down, looked at him and began politely talking his ear off.

That's when I burst out laughing, a belly laugh so strong it obliterated my anger. I let this alternative reality play through my mind, adding humorous bits here and there – I saw him looking at me surprised, then trying to ignore me, then suddenly packing up his things and stomping off, dog in tow off leash. I imagined him and I actually having a friendly conversation, chatting away like best friends. I imagined him and I sitting there, me chatting away and he trying to ignore my chatting tsunami in quiet annoyance...

And you know what happened next? The entire situation changed for me. No longer did I see him as the idiot epitome of bad dog ownership. Instead he became a shining example of what I could be.

Consider this:

This guy was doing his own thing, oblivious to what others thought and said about him

This guy was in his own reality, enjoying his life with his dog. So was the dog!

This guy had presence of mind, a centeredness so powerful, he appeared unphased by not only one, but two verbal aggressors trying to knock him off his rocker

As much as I want to vilify him, he demonstrated to me vibrational mastery. And at that point he went from villain to teacher.

I want to be like that. I want to be calm in the face of storms.

And, in fact I am, nearly all the time.

Which is another thing he taught me: that I am that nearly all the time. When I'm not, there's always something great in the experience I learn about myself and about my Positively Focused practice.

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #241

“where once a heart was beating, nothing but embers glow. our love, it serves as kindling to stoke this flame’s inferno.”

Would you care if your partner did drugs etc? If it was legal here and just for medical purposes, I'd be fine with just weed. Otherwise, I treat the idea the same way as I would a tobacco smoker: no. Has anyone lost their virginity to you? I guess in a gay context? For two females, when is it really... "lost?" Idk. Do you live near a beach? Like... two hours away. Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? Ha ha, yeah... Do you enjoy going through the car wash? I do, actually. I'm still a little kid when it comes to the rainbow soap, ha ha. Have you done anything embarrassing lately? Oh, I'm sure. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? One. Would you consider painting your bedroom purple? Noooo, it wouldn't be cute y'all. Do you actually wear every shirt in your drawer? Ha, no... mainly because there's a handful of them that I'm working to shrink back into. Then there's others I'm self-conscious of because of color and having hyperhidrosis out the ass. Just wearing black disguises sweat the best. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I have one already, but I'm getting it covered at some point. I didn't put much thought into it and has no meaning to me now. I plan on getting the other collarbone tatted too, of course. Are you pregnant right now? Bitch fuck no. Do you still dress up for Halloween? Ugh, no, but only because I can't afford even things to put together my own costume. Not having anywhere to go only further discourages dressing up period. Who was the last male you talked to? My dad. Do you hate cuddling? Hell no, if I like you anyway. Do you have any bruises right now? No. Why did you take the last pill you took? They're my morning prescription meds. My last pill was for anxiety. Could you handle having kids? FUCK no. Nervous breakdowns would happen twice a week, I promise. What outfit makes you feel the most attractive? Attractive? In anything? What a concept. What do you think of people who always wear make-up? You do you, boo. What’s a smell that absolutely makes you gag? Gag, probably vomit. Or feces of some animals. Is there a smell that gives you headaches? GASOLINE. And fresh-cut grass. What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? Sit in the library doing schoolwork or whatever on my laptop. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? Yes. Has anyone of the same sex ever hit on you? Yeah. Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Yeah; been in one already and I'm still open to dating another girl. What do you think of people who litter and do you? I openly fucking despise you. So obviously not. How much time do you spend online daily? If I'm not in school, I can like... guarantee you I'm on the computer doing at least something. Not always the same site, but I'm somewhere. I absolutely hate how reliant I am on the Internet. Do you wear sunglasses regularly? I never do. I need prescription sunglasses. Who was the last person you called? My mom. Do you own a tablet of any kind? No. Do you tend to put things off until the last minute? OH YES INDEED. What are your parents’ natural hair colors? What is yours? Mom's is brown, and I cannot believe Dad was born with blond hair. HOW does that turn black. I was born dirty blonde. Are you afraid of getting shots? Nah, just the injection is kinda painful with how it burns. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? I very much so hate it. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo, I'm too awkward for that. Always have been. What’s the last piercing you got? Tongue. Do you have a best friend? Ye. What’s your internet homepage? Google. Do you have a shower stall or a bath tub? A tub. When was the last time you saw someone attractive? In person? Idk. What do you hear right now? "I Am Hell" by Machine Head. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Same person I like now. Did you speak with your father today? No. Are you currently frustrated with someone? No. Name one of your hobbies? Watch YouTube is high up there and like... the only thing I have motivation to do lately. I really hate it. I want my writing will to come back. What is your biggest worry in life right now? My lack of a job. Do you like hot or cold showers? Hot. Are you happy with your relationship status? I don't have a particular feeling about it. What colors would you like to have at your wedding? Depends on the season and the opinion of my spouse, too. How easy was it to get over the person you last dated? It didn't take too long, though it was really because the event left me believing we were, without question, getting back together once we are independent enough to live on our own/mutually move out. It's still possible we may, should life just play out where it works out, but it also was much easier to accept because we're still completely best friends. Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? Not on paper, but pretty much. How old were you when you first smoked weed? But I never have. What is one thing that you’ve done that a lot of people said you couldn’t? Idk; I don't have a lot of unsupportive people in my life. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Mom. What was the last reason you cried? I listened to a song that deeply triggered my PTSD. Have you ever hated a song, and then later on found that you liked it? Yup, however that works. Did you have a good childhood? It was mostly normal, I guess? Do you play games on your PC? Just World of Warcraft right now. I started Alien: Isolation and Resident Evil 6 FOREVER ago, I just haven't had the motivation to finish either. Do you have a formspring? It's familiar, but I'm actually not sure what that even is. Do you know anyone that is racist? Welcome to the South. Do you have an active sex life? No. Are you defensive about anything? Yes. Have you ever driven 80+ mph? No. Have you ever changed a lightbulb? Yes. Have you ever gotten a bullseye in darts/archery? Darts, possibly. Never done archery. Do you have a Wii? Yeah. Do you own any animals that absolutely hate you? No. What brand is the computer you’re currently on? Acer. Are there any piercings you want but you’re too afraid it will hurt? The pain factor doesn't keep me away from piercings, so no. Do you think ear gauging is gross? When it gets to a certain width, to me anyway, it's pretty ew. I don't judge at all about someone having them, but it can get to a point where it just isn't appealing imo. Are you afraid of anyone in your family? Who and why? No. What’s the last scary movie you saw? Ummmm idk. It's been a long-ass time. I'm sure something in theaters, but I really don't know. Why aren’t you friends with your last ex? We are friends. When did you last spend the night at a friend’s house? A year ago when I was at Sara's. Did you ever watch 2Girls1Cup? Fuck no, I've never even looked into what exactly it is, but I know enough to know I don't wanna fucking see it. Do you have anxiety or depression? *shrugs* Why not both? Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No. Have you ever had your bedroom in a basement? Never even had a basement to begin with lol. Friend asks you to hide drugs, booze etc for them, do you do it? lol no. Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Big spiders. I particularly like writing spiders/orb weavers though, and watching big spiders eat is just fascinating. Have you entered the Lays create a flavor contest? Oh man how long ago was that??? No. Bagels or English muffins? Bagels gotta win it for me. Who is a family member you look forward to seeing on a holiday? On Christmas especially, I love seeing my niece and nephew because they're just so excited. Brings me back to what it felt like as a little kid. Are Easter baskets only for kids? No. My sisters and I each had super cute baskets that Mom would fill until like... two years ago. Now that it's just me living with her, she'll just usually buy me a candy bar or something. Do you do anything to recognize St Patrick’s Day? No. Do you think nutcracker figurines are creepy or cool? No opinion. Speaking of nuts, do you like them? For the most part, no. There are instances however where I can enjoy like little pieces of them with other kinds of food, ex. chocolate. What do you do when you are nervous? Dead giveaway: I'm kneading/playing with my hands. I pace naturally, but I do so more frequently when I am nervous. I'll have a harder time making eye contact, too. Does your family have an SUV or pick up truck? No. Which of your parents do you laugh more with? Dad. Have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral? Wake, yes. Who mows the lawn at your house? Some guy Mom knows through the dance studio. Where do you keep your phone at night? Usually to the right of my pillow, a bit far away, and up more towards the headboard. My bed's a queen-size and it's just me, so I have room where I won't hit it. If it has to charge though, then it's on the table beside my bed. Do you feel comfortable asking your parents or grandparents for money? No in almost every case. I'm only somewhat comfortable if it's Mom and I'm asking for like a snack from the gas station or something like that. What’s the last thing you lost? My phone, I think. If you could have your own car or an apartment, which would you choose? An apartment would be entirely useless as I am in no way competent enough to live alone yet, and a car wouldn't have much use seeing as I only have my permit and STILL pretty much never drive. It'd be more useful than an apartment, though. Last time you hid, and why: Uhhhhh. I have zero clue. How do you like your eggs? I'll only ever take them scrambled with cheese. Favorite Mexican food? Quesadillas. Upcoming event you are dreading? I'm happily enjoying it right now, but in another way, I'm dreading school break ending just because I am INCREDIBLY nervous about the effects of it on my legs with the whole muscle atrophy thing. I'm scared of regressing. Do you have a favorite pen? What kind? No. Do you do more surveys during the day or night? The day. Just shampoo, or shampoo + conditioner? Just shampoo. Conditioner adds oil to your hair, and trust me, my hair does NOT need any extra oil. Scariest driver you’ve ridden with: Dad the day he had to pick Nicole and me up from school and we had a 30-minute drive home. Basically, we got home in maybe 15 or less. He was in a fucking awful mood, speeding like hell, running red lights, passing illegally... I was entirely convinced we were going to die that day. Still one of the scariest of my life. Do you think you’re smarter than the average person? If so, why? It depends on the subject matter; in areas such as English, wisdom, stuff kinda like that, honestly yeah. In areas like common damn sense and mathematics, fuck no. What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why? Paganism. I recently found that Neo-Paganism is the closest description for my spiritual beliefs; it covers such a broad spectrum, and it emphasizes the divinity of nature, free will (so long you are not inflicting harm upon another), the equality of man and woman (plus the beauty of humanity), and one of the concepts of the "ultimate being" includes not an actual deity, but just like this... source of energy and power. I don't even know if I believe it to be conscious, it's just like... the source, and it lies within nature. I'm still doing more and more research into it as I'm thoroughly intrigued, and I continue to feel more at home with its inclusiveness to an array of interpretations. What was the last thing to upset you? So beyond just an annoyance? Probably when this random fucking Facebook post of a father sharing just how proud he was of his son for killing wolves together and sharing purely evil photographs of them playing with/posing the bloody dead bodies (which included making them "snarl" at the camera, and mind you, their mouths were full of blood) popped up on my feed for no goddamn reason. Safe to say, I left a comment and got into a fight with a backwards son of a fuck who thought it was totally kosher to kill these "vermin" and used personal attacks versus logic to try in vain to prove his point, when all he did was accomplish me seeing him as the vermin. Where did you go to the last time you left your house? My sister's house. Do you wear something on your left hand/wrist/arm without fail? Friendship ring with Sara as well as the bracelet she gave me. What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear? Stealing the last answer of jumpsuits. Will you go outside today? Probably not. Are you doing everything you can to make yourself happy? Not everything. I know I could do more. What is a phrase or a saying you try to live by? I don't think I have a set one that I always look to. I refer more to ideas, such as to be unrelenting in your goals. What is something you lie to yourself about? I don't know. I'm not good at that. What has been the best job you’ve ever had? lol What is a holiday, that is NOT celebrated in your country, that you would like to celebrate? Day of the Dead. I know some do celebrate it here, but it's more of a holiday in Mexico. Which nation’s culture (excl. your own) do you find the most interesting? Germany's, from what I remember. We learned quite a bit about them while I took it as a language. They are very serious about honesty and manners. What is something you judge about other people? How you treat others, certain aspects of ones personality (ex., arrogance), and as the previous person stated, to a certain degree anyway, moral/political/religious beliefs. What is something you do not want to discuss? I get really uncomfortable talking about sex, and though no one in my "real" life knows about it (except perhaps Mom due to an outburst during the breakup), I don't like even looking back on the Joel situation. There are also some political things I just don't want to talk about. Do you enjoy solving problems? No, shit's stressful. Are you a kinesthetic, an auditory or a visual learner? Kinesthetic, 100%. Are you an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert? I'm a pretty strong introvert, though not as much as I once was. I can get lonely kinda quickly now, but I still NEED my alone time. Are you socially anxious or awkward? OH BOY AM I!!!!!!! Do you actually think it’s gross to talk about body functions? NO!!!!!!! This needs needs needs to be normalized because it's stuff we all endure, so we should be comfortable talking about these things, asking questions, etc. Have you ever sent a love letter? Yeah. When you look up at the sky do you ever NOT see a plane or vapor trail? Yeah. Welcome to the country. Do you wear any shoes with holes because you can’t give them up? No. When you go out to breakfast, what do you order? Pretty much always pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. What’s the best compliment you’ve gotten from a boss/teacher? That when she came back to teaching, I was the exact kind of student she hoped for. What’s a weird or interesting nickname you gave someone? lmao the first one that came to mind was Connie's "Einnoc." Is there a phrase or mantra you repeat when you are frightened? No. What are you most envious of? Successful photographers lmao. Do you have a friend with a habit that worries you? Yes. Would you rather have coffee, cocoa, tea, or soda? UGH soda. That's my weaknesses. You could take sweets from me, but I'm pretty reliant on soft drinks. When you walk into your best friend’s room, what do you smell? I don't remember, actually... I haven't been there enough. Have you ever purposely broken something that belonged to a sibling? Wow, no. Have you ever worked at the same place as your best friend? No. Do you like to visit famous people’s homes? I've never done that, and I find it disrespectful anyway. Give celebs their privacy, goddamn. Do you take days off from shaving when you can get away with it? The only thing I shave are my armpits, and considering I don't shower everyday, yes. Every time I do take one however, I always shave. Is there anything hanging on your bathroom walls? No. If your SO agreed, would you want an open relationship? No. Have you ever slept with three people in the same bed? When? Why? At some point, yeah, but not in a romantic context. It was with friends or family when we had limited space. Does your family regularly eat sit down meals together? Pretty much never. Who would you like to slow dance with? To what song? SOBS "The Only Exception" by Paramore w/ Sara continues to sob What’s your favorite pet name someone calls you? None that I have now. If you could talk to one species of animal what would it be? Good question. I guess cats, as I have one and would love to know what he thinks. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever seen in person? An elephant, strolling RIGHT by the fence at the zoo. Have you ever used the change counting machine at a store or mall? Ohhh, I remember those! Yes. Would you give mouth to mouth to your dog to save its life? We have a dog I honestly can't stand, and this is gonna get me mentally punched, but I don't know. NO, not BECAUSE I don't like him, but I don't love him enough to deal with those germs. I don't think I could stomach doing it. If you came with a warning label, what would it say? "Is going to be uncomfortable if you say one word to her but craves friendship anyway." Have you ever tried to learn a language on your own? No. Have you ever had a pet destroy something valuable or important? The thing that upset me the most was when Teddy tore up the corner of one of my art pieces I'm most proud of. I cried. It was weird considering he never really tore up stuff... but alright then. What’s the best burger EVER? UGH I'm weak for Wendy's Baconators. Did you ever show up late for an important event? Probably at some point?

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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thebibliomancer · 5 years

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Dark Crystal Age of Resistance ep 3 liveblog

“What was sundered and undone”

Just a stream of thoughts.

The Order of Lesser Service.

Everyone is dunking on Brea.

“The order of Lesser Service is not a punishment. Its an opportunity to lift yourself up by performing the lowliest of deeds.”

Its not a punishment but Brea can’t leave and a possible task is to chew up roots and spit it into baby Nebrie’s mouths. It SOUNDS like a punishment.

“I’ve never met a princess before. I imagined they’d have shinier hair.” EVERYONE is dunking on Brea.

So the Order of Lesser Service is TOTALLY not a punishment but you have to wear a jester hat and also this other Vapran gelfling girl Juni was sent to the Order for hanging out with a boy of a different clan.

It really sounds like a punishment.

“I always thought I’d make a fantastic princess, I have the hair for it. Its very shiny.” I kind of like Juni.

So the service for the day is to swan into a Podling village and force cleaning on them.

They seem awfully happy throwing mud at each other. And bellyflopping into the mud. And eating the mud. And rolling in mud.

“There is no filthier creature in all of Thra than a Podling” cool cool cool cool racism, Gelflings.

Yeah it seems gross but its what they like? So don’t be dicks about it, geez, Gelflings.

They seriously seem upset by all this forced bathing. Leave them alone!

Theres a lot of paternalism here is what I’m getting at.

Seladon just spent five minutes complaining about Brea while Cool Sister Tavra is just trying to hone her sword and mind her business.

Tavra really is the Cool Sister. The Cool Very Patient Sister.

“I can’t be washing Podlings, I had a vision that the world was ending or beginning!”

“Sounds like heatstroke”

“FUCK YOU ITS NOT HEATSTROKE”

Brea cuts a deal with a Podling to not wash them and the Podling immediately dives into the dirt to make dirt angels.

Live your truth, Podling. Live your beautiful truth, you actual potato.

Deet: “What if we fail?”

The First Podling Paladin: “Pssh”

Hup has to explain to underground elf Deet that actually Gelflings are pretty racist against each other and may not listen to her just because she’s an underground elf.

“It may be hard at first but like anything else in life, it just takes time to adjust” -dramatically removes blindfold to make a point-

Rian knows that just because you’re on a quest to save the world and are carrying a plot critical item, doesn’t mean you can’t stop to do a random act of kindness sidequest.

“Thank the harvest we have the Skeksis to keep us safe” Dramatic ironyyyyyyy

Rian immediately gives up the game by protesting that the Skeksis killed Mira.

“We protect the lords. The lords protect the crystal of truth. All lies!”

And he ditches all his castle guard gear so he’s not so easily identified in the future.

Brea trying to hide. While wearing a jingly hat.

Tavra: “You ran away? Good.” Such the Cool Sister.

So news of Mira’s death has filtered to the Vapra by this point. And since Rian is of the Stonewood clan, ooo its time for factional tension I guess.

Cool Sister Tavra has to try to keep the peace between her sister.

Tavra: “I think you and Seladon are more alike than you realize.”

Brea: “That’s a mean thing to say!”

Tavra: “Well, you’re both very stubborn!”

Also both Brea and Seladon can tell from Tavra’s silence when she wants to say something.

“The bonds of sisterhood can be tested… but never broken” Awww, Tavra!

Deet, you’re the most sunny person possible considering you’re an underground elf.

There’s a cool ominous pillar full of swords and Hup wouldn’t let Deet ask someone about it.

“Look at that filthy green Gelfling” well fuck you too, background character.

The Stonewood Gelfling at the bar try to rearrange so there’s no room for Deet but she’s oblivious to bullying and just squeezes in anyway.

Apparently a Fizzgig are just fizzgigs. So Kira was like a pokemon trainer who names her dog Dog.

“Go crawl back into the nest you came from you dirty Grottan” and then they shove her. I think she’s less oblivious to bullying now. But also Hup doesn’t approve of that behavior and launched himself across the bar and beat up EVERYONE.

That’s what a paladin is, Avatar.

“Rascal hole” wut.

I was just thinking that there’s been a dearth of Skeksis so far and BAM scene: castle, in saunters SkekSil.

“Not talk. Just listen.” ‘Hey wanna know about this cool beetle that eats eyes?’

“Noooo never use on gelfling. Only on Skeksis who misbehave. Did you hear screams last night? Friend Scientist was naughty, so saw peeper beetle.”

Chamberlain is one of those people who uses friend ironically, I think. And the nicer the term of endearment the more worried you should be, Gurjin.

“Think Gelfing. If Skeksis do that to Skeksis, imagine what Skeksis do to Gelfling that will not talk.”

“Tell Chamberlain where Rian is.”

“Never!”

-actual affronted gasp-

Librarian: “Weren’t you sent to the Order of Lesser Service?”

Brea: “I ran away. I gotta go steal from my mom”

Librarian: “You wut”

OH HEY FLYING SCENE! Wonder how they did that.

Seladon: “So the person Brea mindwiped is here. There’s been a murder at the castle. Creatures going mad. And there’s a bunch of Gelfling worried about the Blight.”

All-Maudra: “I had to send Tavra on a dangerous mission. And Brea to the Order of Lesser Service. My daughters… gone.”

Her other daughter Seladon: “.... wtf mom”

Seladon gives her mom a pep talk to break her out of her funk.

All-Maudra: “You’ll be a great All-Maudra some day. … Straighten your wings. You look like a lopsided unamoth.”

It was almost positive reinforcement for a second but you just had to undermine it, huh?

And then Brea breaks into the room to do a Theft like right after they leave.

So the Brightest Jewel is part of the chandelier? Of what significance?

Scientist: “Treacherous, perfidious Skeksis! Oh, soon… soon they will all see!”

The guy was a Mad Scientist by default of being a lizard nightmare man but he’s going Mad Scientist “they laughed LAUGHED but I’ll show them all” from his default level of Already Mad Scientist.

He’s also saying all this out loud while Chamberlain is just standing behind him.

Chamberlain: “How is friend skekTek? Good? Mm?” You’re a card, SkekSil.

Oh, cool. Scientist replaced his eye with a cybernetic prosthetic.

Chamberlain found some lab assistants for the Scientist called Gruenaks. I guess this is why the other Skeksis managed to put up with him for so long. He backstabs them all but then gives a shoulder rub and goes ‘lol sorry’

First he’s sour, then he’s sweet. Sour Patch SkekSil.

Chamberlain: “So, we are friends? All is forgiven?”

Scientist: -grudgingly- “It's a start”

Deet is off to see the Maudra Fara and is very tired of the myths that the Grottan Gelflings are all dead. Or bats.

And then Rian shows up. Holy crap, two of the protagonists in the same square mile!

Deet: “He’s much dirtier than me, why does he get to go in?”

Guard: “Because Rian is one of us! Unlike you!” Rude.

So the Rascal Hole is just an oubliette type prison dealie. And its right in the Maudra’s court, like she’s a Jabba.

Maudra Fara: “Your return puts the Stonewood clan in a dangerous position. The Skesis have declared you a traitor to Thra.”

I have to wonder how news travels so fast. Do they have female gelfling couriers sent out to all the clans to spread the word? Is there a fantasy telegraph? I guess even a courier on a landstrider would run fastere than Rian’s tiny little legs.

Rian: “The Skeksis are the traitors! They lied to us about everything!”

Fara: “I will not tolerate heresy from a murderer”

Will you tolerate heresy from a counterfeiter? Whats the crime threshold here that will allow you to tolerate heresy?

Heresy is “belief or opinion contrary to orthodox religious doctrine” so are the Skeksis literally the religion of the Gelfling? I guess the Crystal holds a massive spiritual significance to everyone of Thra and the Skeksis as the Lords of the Crystal would have a level of respect but heresy?

Rian: “I have soul goo that proves I didn’t kill Mira!”

Rian: “Dreamfast with me” which should solve everything but Rian’s dad arrived first and told Fara what the Skeksis told him that dreamfasting spreads the Madness.

Good job derailing this guaranteed plot resolution, Chamberlain.

��You are my father, why don’t you ever believe me?” I can’t wait for Rian and Brea to meet so they can commiserate over bad parents.

-Rian sees chandelier, sees rope, thinks Flynn-y thoughts-

Oh wow thats an awful lot of chandelier. And they’re full of fireflies instead of fire. Because you don’t want puppets anywhere near fire.

And Rian did do the thing where he cuts a rope and lets it carry him to escape.

Aughra: -sees the castle, reflexively- “Bah!”

Skeksis spa day???

Emperor: -applying cream and looking into a mirror- “Ah, beautiful!”

Aughra: “Skeksis?”

Emperor: “Oh shit mom’s home!”

Scroll-Keeper: “AHHH I’M NOT DECENT!”

Aughra: “PAH” -rinses her eye in his bath just because-

Aughra: “I’m unwell because Thra is unwell. I’ve come to see the Crystal, see what ails it.”

Skeksis: “NOPE CRYSTAL IS FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE”

Aughra: “Everything is well? You speak and know nothing! Or is it you know and speak nothing?” Well wordplayed, Aughra.

-starts poking the Scroll-Keeper’s belly with her staff so he has to splash her to get her to back off-

It turns out her interrupting their banquet by being kidnapped in the movie wasn’t her being upset. She’s just that rude at a constant level.

Show her the Crystal before she traumatizes the Scroll-Keeper more.

Wow, the Emperor tries a very daring guilt trip on Aughra. Having gotten her addicted to space, he criticizes her for neglecting Thra and leaving the Skeksis to take care of it.

Emperor: “Then go back to your travels and we can go back to caring for the many you left behind.”

Emperor: “Guards. Throw this useless old crone out of our castle forever!”

The Gelfling guards of course do the “i thought she’d be taller” routine.

A Guard: “My grandfather said she cursed his village with ear mites because they forgot her birthday.”

B Guard: “Well I heard she sneezed and a mountain crumbled.”

Aughra: “Its all true so stay where you are or you’ll suffer the wrath of all eight and a half fingers! BAH!” -they flinch- “BAH!” -flinch again- “Ninny wheelers. Ingrates.”

And then the guards just let her wander off on her own.

-wanders past crystal. Stops. Wanders backwards-

She is not happy with how they redecorated the Crystal with EVIL.

Apparently Past Aughra recorded a message into the Crystal for Future/Present Aughra?

And Aughra tells Aughra “The moment Skeksis possessed the Crystal they abused it.” Aughra is a bad judge of character, apparently.

So the corruption of the Crystal creates the Darkening. And the Crystal or Past Aughra also replays the footage of Mira getting turned into soul goo.

“Gelflings return to Thra when they die. That is the natural order. But when Skeksis consume essence cannot return home. Thra is out of balance, thus the Darkening spreads faster.”

Eating souls is bad for the environment. Gotcha.

“You have lost the Song of Thra.” So now Aughra is off on a quest too. Like Earthbound except singing to the Skeksis isn’t going to make them feel so bad they leave.

Deet is still trying to figure out a way to rescue Hup. By wandering around aimlessly.

What a cute random tree snake rabbit. I keep expecting it to be actually huge and try to eat her.

Dammit Rian, you startled the random tree snake rabbit!

But hey, now two of the protagonists are in the same vicinity and ACTUALLY interacting.

Of course, Rian is massively paranoid now.

Rian: “Who sent you? Maudra Fara?”

Deet: “Maudra Argot! Well, actually it was the Sanctuary Tree.”

Rian: “??? oh.”

Deet has decided that since Rian cut in line in front of her, he has to help her rescue Hup. But he can’t what with being on the run from everyone and having broken all of the chandelier at Maudra Fara’s throne room.

Rian: “It won’t light, the ground is too wet”

Deet: “We’ll see about that.” -instantly succeeds-

Castle living has made you a bad camper, Rian.

Rian: ‘Holy shit the one person who hasn’t heard the lie about me being a murderer!’ -Deet has an epiphany and runs off- “Aww =( .”

It was nice to have two whole protagonists in the same conversation for two whole minutes. =P

Brea returns with the Brightest Jewel. And finds that Onica is now Elder Onica.

Elder Onica: “I served as Cadia’s apprentice for many trine. His memory loss allowed me to give myself a long overdue promotion.”

Hey, whatever works.

Brea was assuming, as I was, that the Brightest Jewel was payment. Which offends Onica because Stereotypes about Sifa. (Sifa Sea Faring? Boo) But the Brightest Jewel is actually a chrysalis and the answer.

Brea: “Oh. …….. I don’t understand.”

Onica: “A great many things.”

EVERYONE dunking on Brea today.

“This is the chrysalis of an Imperial unamoth, the totem animal of your clan.”

Onica: “Ask your question”

Brea: “Ask the moth??????”

Oh thats a pretty moth. Annnnnd it just flew off.

Onica was pretty cool.

Sooooo, wait. Wait. Brea is trying to learn what a vision means and is following a moth.

Annnnnd the moth turned into the symbol on the All-Maudra’s throne and opened a secret passage. Thats some good good fantasy nonsense.

Although I thought the throne room was not on the ground floor so where could a secret throne passage lead?

Questions, questions. Too many questions...

#dark crystal #dark crystal age of resistance #liveblog #episode 3

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alexandreathefirst-blog · 4 years

Text

First Time

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!

Stranger: hi

Stranger: haha sorry

You: nice abs

Stranger: lol thanks

Stranger: like your smile btw you seem cute af haha like wtf

You: how mamy times ur on the gym

Stranger: try 3-5 times a week

You: that dedication tho

You: hahaha

Stranger: haha i try

Stranger: oh shoot and you got that freckle dayummm

You: i did go once

You: i puked

Stranger: you got the whole package hahah

Stranger: oh shoot that means you a hard worker

You: its a beauty mark

You: more like a cursed mark

Stranger: it really is

Stranger: nah

Stranger: beauty mark for sure

Stranger: dides find that super sexy ngl

You: hahah calm ur tits boo

You: im here for wholesome shit

You: but i dont know why im on the unmonitored sec

Stranger: yeah? for example?

Stranger: oh lol like what wholesume shit?

Stranger: you low key "bored" or nah ll

Stranger: sorry im so excited

You: im here for stories and confessions from you guys

Stranger: just always haha like what?

Stranger: what you tryna hear?

You: im not into sext and stripping stuff. Treat me like a commercial from dicks lol

Stranger: haha aight

Stranger: where you from tho?

You: im in the middle east rn

You: working :(

You: you?

Stranger: really

Stranger: how old are you?

Stranger: im basic form the us

Stranger: in FL

You: 23 haha do i look younger?

Stranger: haha yeah you look good for 23

Stranger: is it cold there?

You: haha dont make me smileeee

Stranger: haha why

Stranger: you have a fucking great one lmao

You: nnah im just covering my ppajamas hahaha

Stranger: haha ok..... why tho?

Stranger: protection from the dicks?

You: coz people might think ill strip when i have this angle

You: and they see a shoulder and shit

Stranger: ahh gotcha

You: hahahah correct

Stranger: oh shoot that shoulder...

Stranger: lmao

You: haha shhh

Stranger: haha you funny

Stranger: what time is it there?

You: so are you here for dicks or boobies before u met me?

You: its 2am

Stranger: honestly?

You: oh shit its the us timezone wait

You: 125PM

Stranger: dang nice

You: were on the opposite part

You: wait my sister is calling

Stranger: gotcha makes sense

Stranger: ugh and your voice.... :)

Stranger: you are literally the cutest thing lmao idk why tf you on omelge haha

Stranger: I hate to break it to ya bt... I saw your pajamas

Stranger: haha and even your shoulder ;)

Stranger: watch out

You: hahaha dont get horny or youll leave me

Stranger: haha I would never leave you

Stranger: you would leave me if anything

You: i would if you start asking me to strip off my comfy blanket

Stranger: haha dang

Stranger: I just want you to feel good lol

Stranger: so if you comfy that's chill

Stranger: but you did ask why I was on here....

Stranger: you honestly want to know?

You: noooo haha

You: youre naked

You: and shit

You: so i kinda figure it out

Stranger: haha i got pants on

You: im just stalling you before u encounter some dicks again

Stranger: lol sorry a man's curious

Stranger: ive just never done anything with a girl so i can't help it

Stranger: you know?

Stranger: you gotta remember back in the day don't ya?

You: back in the day?

Stranger: haha when youve never actually done anything with a guy

Stranger: you weren't curious?

Stranger: or want to experament?

You: oh okay

You: so how was your experiment going?

Stranger: haha not good everyone skipped and there were no girls lol

Stranger: that's why im shocked you stayed

You: hahaha so thats why stayed with me

You: even tho i want that non stripping part

Stranger: hnestly yes.. and you are super cute fr

You: haha dont make me smileee

Stranger: I mean idk... even if you don't want that I can't skip you haha

Stranger: I wish i could make you smile lol

Stranger: your so chill

Stranger: and are those little dimples?

You: i dont have dimple look

You: i wish i had.

Stranger: you have little ones

You: how about u?

Stranger: one the corneres of yor mouth

Stranger: nope i dont

You: i love how you smile then go back to the poker face

Stranger: hah you do it too :D

You: haha copycat

Stranger: nah nah nah

Stranger: im defo not copying you

Stranger: i don't have that much style lmao

You: hahaha stop idolizing me

You: its just meeee~~~~

Stranger: haha im not

Stranger: youre just you....

Stranger: and super dope and cute lol

Stranger: haha yes that' smile

Stranger: i love it

You: hahaha tell that to girls around you and you'll get a girlfriend instantlyyy

Stranger: what's that?

You: are u shy in person?

Stranger: kinda

Stranger: like irl yeah...;(

Stranger: kinda sucks

Stranger: like I can talk to em but like scared to shoot my shot and have it be wrong lol

Stranger: guess that's why ive never done anything

Stranger: I just want them to be happy

Stranger: ya know?

You: aww you are soo sweet

Stranger: I don't wanna do anything they have to or want to say no to

You: i bet your future girlfriend would be soo lucky

Stranger: haha hopefully

Stranger: only she might be disappointed I don't know what im doing...

Stranger: do ya think?

You: you look like a nice guy not the douche type you know

Stranger: lol thanks I guess

You: and i bet youll love her endlessleyyy

Stranger: that's the goal ;)

You: well they say nice guy finish last hahahaha i remember the niggahigga

Stranger: haha ess

You: but right now ur stuck with me haha

Stranger: nigahiga is hilarious

Stranger: haha happy to be lol

Stranger: jk..

You: so good to hear that ahaha

You: lol

Stranger: it actually sucks to have to look at your smile all the time

Stranger: like ughhh

Stranger: man its horrible

You: whyy

Stranger: *note lots of sarcasm lmao

Stranger: im kidding your too cute

Stranger: it would never be horrible haha

Stranger: and you have those deep eyes you look deep into

Stranger: why can't you be in the staes?

You: hahaha that why i dont stare at people.

Stranger: why its a gift

You: they get hypnotizedd

Stranger: haha ok that makes sense then hah

You: hahaha US is crazyy right now

Stranger: true that

You: even in my country is crazy

Stranger: what is your country?

You: i can't even visit US even tho i want to.

You: lot of racist stuff on the internet

Stranger: oh dang that sucks ;(

You: Philippines

Stranger: the internet is garbo

You: but most people think im chinese

Stranger: don't listen to it

You: coz of my eyes

Stranger: ahhh that makes sense haha

Stranger: nah that's why you so cute idk why but phillipino's are so attrative

You: hahahaha coz we got everything in our blood. americans, spanish, chinese

You: maybe indian too?

Stranger: haha that explains it

Stranger: got the best of all worlds

You: hahaha we like the powerpull girls

Stranger: lolll you goofy :P

Stranger: what do you do for work?

You: maybe u can visit PH then, my face is very common there

You: im in corporate bullshit haha

Stranger: haha doubt i

You: you?

Stranger: t

Stranger: ah gotcha

Stranger: im in colleg still

You: what course you taking?

Stranger: business managment/ entreprenuership

You: i hate collegee haha the test and stuff

Stranger: haha its tough fr

Stranger: good for me tho

You: haha ur same like me. your gonna be stuck to a desk too in the coming years

Stranger: nope

Stranger: I hope never to be at a deskjob 24/7

Stranger: hope to start a company or go into relations and build a small company

Stranger: my dad does it and has his own businesses and that's wht i hope to get into

You: i hope you achieve that!

Stranger: be my own boss its stressful as heck but workhard itll pay off

You: Dont be a corporate slave like us haha

You: yeah youll be so good at managing people

Stranger: haha someone has to do the dirty work

Stranger: lol why do you say that?

You: hahaha true dat

You: well based on our convo

You: you look nice but has that fierce aura haha

You: im not guru

Stranger: lol fierce aura

Stranger: your too nice

You: haha i hope it wont be a disadvantage

You: being too nice

Stranger: haha you can never be too nice so long as you know when to switch

You: haha from dominant to submissive?

Stranger: haha what do you mean?

Stranger: don't get me don't tease me lol

You: haha sorry your confused face made me smile

Stranger: lol

Stranger: ywe talking about business thenyou ask, dom or sub?

Stranger: haha im lost

You: i think cockteaser is my worst trait. I lead you but no action :(

Stranger: haha i mean...

Stranger: you could change that

Stranger: nothing you dont wanna do tho haha

You: haha naahh im good with reading

You: aww you know me now

Stranger: haha in some senses

Stranger: ;)

You: hahaha im more like into imagining than action

You: i love reading those confessions

You: on what guy do to girls

Stranger: ahhh gotcha

Stranger: haaha that's kind hot

Stranger: im more into action but I love pleasing so like compromise?

Stranger: lol

Stranger: wanna know what i sevretly fantasy?

You: whaaat

Stranger: like very intamate sensuall start with like cuddling ahhh

Stranger: it would be amazing

You: have you ever tried that?

Stranger: be the big spoon holidng someone so close

You: youre good with words

Stranger: keeping each other so warm as i wrap my arms arudn them

Stranger: then softly kissing the back of her neck with my lips

Stranger: as she feels my soft breathe on the back of her neck through her hair

Stranger: ugh it would be amazing

You: i had goosebumps reading that

Stranger: ugh such a tease... I want her to feel so good

Stranger: get goosebumps and have the shivers

You: she would be very lucky

Stranger: just tease her and let her feel amazingg

You: tell me more please

Stranger: id just be holding you close hands on your hips wrapped all the way around you

Stranger: as the little spoon youd look over your shoulder

Stranger: our eyes would meet and lock gazes our lips moving slowly closer and cloer

Stranger: seemingley drawn together

Stranger: then our lips would finally meet

Stranger: softly caressing eachother as our eyes closed and we just felt the moment

You: its so good it hurts so much. i cant even breathe

Stranger: so close so warm so much energy courseing between us

Stranger: ugh yes

Stranger: wed bgin to roll aroudn on the bed

Stranger: so much passion

Stranger: our lips locked so tight

Stranger: our lungs would be gen to get sore and tight from not breathing but i wouldnt care

Stranger: id just press into your lips more

Stranger: you being my everything

Stranger: then finally to breathe id slip my lips down look you in the eyes and wed both smile

Stranger: as m my eyes looked at your whole beautiful body as we were on the bed

Stranger: so amazing

Stranger: slide my lips down sloly from your lips down to your chin

Stranger: to your neck

You: damn ur sooo good

Stranger: you trusting me wholly exposing your vulnerable neck

Stranger: thanks ;) just imagine what i wish we could be doing

Stranger: your beatufil amazing self ughhh it would be soo good

Stranger: its honestly making me horny.. so sorry if i get too excited ;)

You: girls would be so jealous reading this chat from you

Stranger: id be kissng your neck softly yet passionately as my hands held you by your smalll of your back and your hip

Stranger: feeling your body up and down with my waarm rough yet gentle hands

Stranger: just teasing you wanting you to feel soo good my lips would continue to move down

Stranger: slowly kissing your chest

You: never in my entire life i would imagine this would happen

Stranger: looking you ito your eyes after each amazing smooch

You: i feel like reliving those gone wild stories on reddit lol

Stranger: well if you wre from FL it would have to happen

Stranger: haha yes it would be so perfect

You: if i were in florida you would never glance at me

You: im too small to be noticed haha

Stranger: my hands would slip up under your shirt and yud draw a short breath but trust me anyway

Stranger: amazing things come in small packages

You: that could be ur branding for ur business haha

Stranger: my hands would realol sure

Stranger: ugh you are so cute i love it

Stranger: does it make you feel good?

You: the air here is so thin i have to breath so heavy

Stranger: ughhh that is amazing

You: its so good it hurrrrts

You: thank you for making me feel this way :)

Stranger: ugh id wanna make your eyes go back into your head just imagining

Stranger: how amazing it would be bb

You: my feet is all curled up just imagining it

Stranger: ugh yes ;)

You: you swoop me with you words :(

Stranger: should I keep going?

You: go on

Stranger: and feel free to add in or suggest things

Stranger: where was i?

Stranger: u remmember?

You: wait

Stranger: ugh and you have th eperfect hands <3

You: your hands is under my shirt

Stranger: yes thats right

Stranger: Im just about to make my big move

Stranger: im so nervous but I go for it annyway

You: but you found out i have a petite body

Stranger: my hands under your shirt my lips kissing your ches from your

Stranger: low cut chirt that sags

Stranger: your petite body is so small under me and my big hands

Stranger: im 6'2

Stranger: (fr)

You: you would just toss me

Stranger: and my hands slip behind and unclip your small petite perfect bra

Stranger: id be very gentle or unless you wanted something else

Stranger: ;)

You: gentler please

Stranger: your bra would just seemingly slip off

Stranger: and wed again look at each other and grin

Stranger: you slightly nervously in anticipation

Stranger: but exceited

Stranger: i relieved you are feeling soo good

Stranger: id then go down to your stomach

Stranger: lifting your shirt up and crawling it up your stomuch right above my lips

Stranger: at your wasitline moving up

Stranger: then to your bellybutton and slightly above

Stranger: before id pause

Stranger: look you in the eyes and keep going

You: damnnnn its so hot!!!

Stranger: running my hands up ands down your perfect petite and small body

Stranger: you are amazing

Stranger: so sexy and hot

Stranger: in those same pajamas your n

Stranger: in*

Stranger: then id get to your ribcage with my lips

Stranger: youd draw in a deep breathe of pleasure

Stranger: it wold give me the courage to keep going

You: my hands is so sweaty just reading

Stranger: right up to the very bottom of your bossom

Stranger: id be in awe of your amazing bidy

Stranger: making me so tunred on

Stranger: my lips wold quiver and keep going

Stranger: so softly yet excitedly with passion

Stranger: (if we disconnect add my snap)

Stranger: masonbrink 8

You: i just waxed down there :o

Stranger: masonbrink8

Stranger: your perfectly smooth body

You: i dont have a snap!!!! :(

Stranger: im at the bottom of your soft boobs so amazingas im lifting youru pj's with my hands kissing rihgt behind

Stranger: how can we find if we lose eac other?

Stranger: my intenet is bad

Stranger: internet*

Stranger: I keep lifting....

Stranger: your pjs are now up to the bottom of your nipple

Stranger: im teasing you so hard and it feels so good for both of us

Stranger: as I rip my shirt off too

Stranger: show my abs as you run you perfect hands over my abs and i have you lift your hands

You: my heart is beating soo fast

Stranger: we hgaze deep down into each others eyes and I lift yoru shirt

Stranger: exposing your amazingly soft supple body

Stranger: your petite breasts

Stranger: are they big or small or medium?

You: my boobs are small but my nipples are always hard

Stranger: ugh that' the perfect comboooo ;)

Stranger: kissing your underboob

You: perfect for bitting

Stranger: working my way up not missing a single spot

Stranger: except the nipple

Stranger: im just teasing it

You: what a tease

Stranger: making them harder and harder

Stranger: my hands are grabbing you by the hips feeling all along there

Stranger: my bb is amazing

Stranger: then I do it

Stranger: look up and grin

Stranger: I move right to your left nipple

Stranger: teasing it soft t first

Stranger: with my tongue and lips then to your other one

You: jusmyo marimar

Stranger: as I get a little bit more playful

You: hahaha

You: its omg in spanish

Stranger: haha what is that?

Stranger: ugh yes perfect

You: i want to roll on my bed its so perfect :(

Stranger: then I tease your little rock hard nipples with my teeth

Stranger: fotly biting them teasingly as my hands are having a great time on your perfect body

Stranger: and you are running yours all along my abs going down to the waist

Stranger: feel free to do whatever bb

Stranger: i want you to feel soo good

Stranger: if your want to rooll or rock a little or tease a little feel free ;)

You: my hands is too small to explore every inch of you

Stranger: your small little hands meeling the edge of my waistband

Stranger: feeling*

Stranger: teastingly snapping it as I giss your beatiful nipples

Stranger: and I do it right back slipping my hands into your tight little wastband

Stranger: ugh yes your sooo cuteee

Stranger: so sexxy

You: sorry i have to get comffyyy

Stranger: its perfect i can teell you are because I think you are moaning a little bit ;)

Stranger: that is so sexy making you feel soo good

You: i know its so hard not toooo

Stranger: just echaling with pleasure

Stranger: do it I want to make you moan bb

Stranger: I want you to just feel it all

Stranger: so then I was teasing your waistband as I kissed your nipples

You: this is heaven right nowwww

Stranger: id slowly go down off of them

Stranger: never missing a spot but working my way back down

Stranger: then skip a bit to your bellybutton

Stranger: wanting to make yowanting to make you soo wet for met

Stranger: your freshly waxed body id just slip right down it

Stranger: my lips nearing your bandline

You: its hard for me to get wet. try harder :)

Stranger: edge of your underwear and your pajamas

Stranger: ok:P

Stranger: tell me if you are getting wet tho bb

Stranger: with my lips nearing your sensitive spot

Stranger: my hands on your thighs as im on top of you

Stranger: your layig back with your arms above your head

Stranger: clenching the pillows trying not to squirm too much

Stranger: my hands soflty touching your thighs teasting them

Stranger: just brishing closer and cloer on your inner thigh

Stranger: you know its coming but cant wait

Stranger: so sxcited you can't contain a little shiver and soft moan

Stranger: so I think im gonna do it

Stranger: should I d it?

You: no

You: you go back to my lips

You: teasing me more

Stranger: you knew what was coming :P

Stranger: I keeo going down but then

Stranger: im sooo close to your tight little pussy starting to get wet then I pull back

Stranger: look you in your eyes and go back to your lips

Stranger: pasvery softly very softly

Stranger: quick kiiss then pull away taking it all in

Stranger: feeling every inch of your soft lips as they are so moist and n chemistry with mine

Stranger: i continue to hold you by the small of your back and do this over and over

Stranger: holding the back of your head and kissing you

Stranger: softly

Stranger: slowly getting more passionately

Stranger: we begin rolling on the bed and around the room

Stranger: we don't care we are just locked in enamored

Stranger: just fully enveloped in teh moment and each other

Stranger: I pull away once again

Stranger: leaving your lips midair trying tdeperately to meet mine

Stranger: then you feel my lips on your neck again

Stranger: with your eyes closed you jsust embrace it

Stranger: it feels so good

Stranger: sending shivers throuout your body

Stranger: sort engouh to be gentle and leave yo wanting a little bit more

Stranger: just a little bit mroe passion

Stranger: the passion that is always growing between us

Stranger: you just close your eyes in pure bliss

Stranger: as I pull away and you never know where my lips will land

Stranger: jsut slowly teasing yoru chest

Stranger: maybe surprisingly on your nipple as they are soo perky and hard like they are so cold

Stranger: or maybe on your vulnerable exposed nck

Stranger: or maybe on your perfect soft lips wating there to meet mine

Stranger: my hands just holding you close

Stranger: pulling you in

Stranger: as you wait for my lips to land in thos places you are running your hands along mmy body

Stranger: from my chest across my abs

Stranger: to my beck as our lips meet

Stranger: neck*

Stranger: around my back just soaking it all in

Stranger: as am I with you

Stranger: you feel over my shorts how beautiful you arelly are

Stranger: with how much you are teasing my

Stranger: me

Stranger: with your small little hands you just feel how hard your making me in my pants

Stranger: busting to get out but I won't stop kissing you

Stranger: I won't stop n omatter what you do

Stranger: then I finally give us some distance

Stranger: we look each ohter up and down

Stranger: you grin and slip my shorts off

Stranger: leaving me in nothing but my boxers

Stranger: you can feel my warmth as my shorts are slipped off and feel me pressing up against you

Stranger: once again my lips begin to make their way down your body

Stranger: just crawling ever so slowly

You: this is ittttttt

Stranger: it seems like a lifetime

Stranger: i get to your waistband of your pajamas finally

Stranger: I look up, we grin

Stranger: we both know this is it

Stranger: I slip my hands down your pajames holding you by your hips and go give you a quick kiss

Stranger: right on the kips

Stranger: foftly as I slowly slip donw your pajamas

Stranger: you hardly notive but feels so good as your being freed

Stranger: what did you say?

You: dont type so fast

You: cant barely read it

Stranger: ok perfect

Stranger: you are just so beautiful

Stranger: I see your whole body laid out before me so small and beautifully petite

Stranger: perefection

Stranger: I continue to slip your pajames down and take them off your ankes as they get caught

Stranger: you are just lying there... in bliss

Stranger: we are feeling so amazing

Stranger: almost as if te moment will lsat forever yet only 2 seconds

Stranger: completely naked except our unerwear we are in totall hapiness

Stranger: your eyes rest on my boxers and you grin

Stranger: hands go down and tease me so much

Stranger: right around my cock making it sooo hard as you brush the edges of it

Stranger: it feels so good on your small hands

Stranger: evyour hands are even

You: i dont really know how to do hands

Stranger: a bit sweaty beacuse your nervous

You: im more of a mouth kind

Stranger: its ok

Stranger: then you surprise me

Stranger: I go back up to your lips and neck

Stranger: teasing them once more

Stranger: then

Stranger: all the sudden

You: why are u thinking

Stranger: you reverse it

Stranger: I lie down and you come up on me

Stranger: our lips still locked as we flip

Stranger: but now your on me your short little legs feel my whole body as your resting on me

Stranger: then you begin to do something

Stranger: exactly what I did to you

Stranger: you you work slowly from my lips

Stranger: to my neck

Stranger: caressing so carefully and gently with your perfect lips

Stranger: I let you go becaues it feels soo good

Stranger: then you keep working down from my neck

Stranger: occasionaly pausing

Stranger: as you run your funger down the center of my abs

Stranger: feeling every bumb as syour finger and lips pass over it

Stranger: you are just seeing the pure tease on my face and are enjoying every socnd

Stranger: your lips begin to get close

You: i love every word

Stranger: you see the elastic of my boxers

Stranger: with a great smile you continue

You: think of me when you do your thing later

Stranger: with great anticipation

You: WAAAIIIIT my battery about to die

Stranger: plug it inn

Stranger: all fresh and ready to continue?

You: go on

You: is it kay to eat my sandwich

You: youre making me hungry

Stranger: :P well you wil be eating something soon ;)

You: hahaha

Stranger: do you ever tease yourself while you read?

Stranger: too feel good to the max?

Stranger: even if you don't show

You: no i just let it feel sore down there

You: throbing

Stranger: haha your such a tease

Stranger: is it throbbing rn?

You: it stopped coz u stopppped

Stranger: ugh well you were so close

Stranger: so close to my waistband

Stranger: your eyes begin to catch my bulge

Stranger: a perfect smile goes

Stranger: across your face

Stranger: your blood is rushing full of pure bliss

Stranger: your hands are sweaty

Stranger: you are trhobbing from all the teasing

Stranger: so you contnue

Stranger: your view is here iwth only my boxyers

You: damnnnnn

Stranger: then you see my bulge

Stranger: kissing each abdomen

Stranger: you want cam on my face or here?

Stranger: because I want you to feel so good

You: faceeee. i love ur reaction

You: every small breathe

Stranger: ughh yes

Stranger: you are such a tease

Stranger: makng me so tunred on

Stranger: do you think you can help me after?

You: lets see how it goes

Stranger: ok ;)

Stranger: so you were at my waistband with your lips

Stranger: questioning

Stranger: do you make the move and finally give me everything ive been wanting?

Stranger: you decide not yet

Stranger: run your finger along it then you go back to my lips

Stranger: lying right on top of me

You: tease you moreeeee <3

Stranger: and we go into another long makekout

Stranger: im practically bursting at my boxers

Stranger: but you dont care

Stranger: you can tell

Stranger: you feel it on your body as your laying on top of me

Stranger: then onve again

Stranger: I flip you over

Stranger: this time exploring a bit

Stranger: kissing your shoulder

Stranger: gently right to your collar bone

Stranger: making you really feel every breathe as yoru lungs are so tight

Stranger: your small little body is so wound up

Stranger: you can't take much more so you decide to do it yourself

Stranger: you rub your hands and fingers across your clit really quickly as you quickly inhanle

Stranger: it is so close throbbing

Stranger: but you take them off

You: but you stopped me

Stranger: just teasing them that muchh more

You: you want to be in control

Stranger: I grab your hand

Stranger: yo need to wait

Stranger: You need to wait for my mouth to finally please you fully

Stranger: you won't want to move your hand but you allow me to place it back on the bed

Stranger: where you have to hodl the covers

Stranger: im holding each breast taking turns

Stranger: mteasing you more and more than I thought I could each time

Stranger: your nipples are so hard

Stranger: sticking straight up

Stranger: right into my mouth where they brush my teeth as i gently play with them

Stranger: softly yet a little tough so it doesnt hurt

Stranger: you are having to do all you can to keep you hand from slipping back to your underwear

Stranger: slowly teasing under there

Stranger: you begin to move your hand

Stranger: but again

Stranger: I catch it

Stranger: you trhob harder and faster than you were before

You: you tease so mch i love ittt

Stranger: your body is seeming like it is yelling every muscle in your body

Stranger: just do ittt

Stranger: it weill feellll sooo goood

Stranger: just rub it a little more

Stranger: but im hokidng your hands in place iwth one of mine

Stranger: as I sense your uge and am fighitng it for you

Stranger: you can't control your short sharp breaths

Stranger: and your exhales as you are moaning

Stranger: so softly

Stranger: yet so despereatley

Stranger: I begin to notice something as my lips once agin slip down below your belly button

Stranger: your panties are getting a bit wet

Stranger: i grin and look up at you

Stranger: I see you want me to keep going down so bad but i continue to hold your hands

Stranger: Ido go down

Stranger: of shoot

Stranger: I randomly matched iwth someone else

Stranger: she has her tits out

Stranger: im sitll just holidng

Stranger: you

You: hahahahah what do you mean u matched with someone else

Stranger: another tab

You: go on let me eat first

Stranger: no

Stranger: Im gonna skip here

Stranger: dnne

Stranger: you are too aamzing

Stranger: my lips are still hovering so close as they pulled of your stomach

You: she must do all the action im here for the pussy throbing stories of yours

Stranger: right above the wetspot on your panties

Stranger: you want it so bad

Stranger: but I continue to move downward

Stranger: right to your bare thighs

Stranger: my lips land right on thm after softly kissing your panties on the way by

Stranger: you though that's what you wanted....

Stranger: but really

Stranger: It just made your urg efor more worse

Stranger: yurge for more*

Stranger: my lips are on your thigh

Stranger: slowly going to your inner thighs so perfect

Stranger: my hands up on your chest

Stranger: I feel something in your legs as I get close

Stranger: they quicker a bit

Stranger: jsut shake a little

Stranger: your hand begins to fight mine

Stranger: but I hold it down

Stranger: not allowing it to satisfy your pussy

Stranger: no matter how hard you fight i you can't get there

Stranger: liek now

Stranger: you can just brush over it yet you can't linger

You: sorry iwas distracted something in my mouth

You: from the nuttella

Stranger: as im hoding you ther all I can notice is your panties getting wetter and wetter

Stranger: its ok

Stranger: your moaning is getting more often and more often

Stranger: once again I lift my lips

Stranger: then ever so slowly

You: coz were getting on the best part

Stranger: move them to your panites

Stranger: right over them

Stranger: you can practically feel my breathe

Stranger: teasing down your clit and g spots

Stranger: you quiver again letting out a huge sigh

You: where is the g spot

You: i cant even find it

You: :(

Stranger: hopeefully we will find it in a minute ;)

Stranger: instead of kissing right down n it I smile again

Stranger: so gently rub up it with my han as I bring my face back up to yours

Stranger: our lips going to meet ocnce more

You: no

Stranger: only this time all that is racing through your mind is your pussy

You: dont kiss me

You: with vag juice on ur moth

Stranger: I will kiss you

You: noooooo

Stranger: i don't have juice yet

Stranger: I just barely kissed your pantie befre it was all wet

You: once u go down theres no coming back to my mouth

Stranger: But I still won't totally kiss you

Stranger: just one little smooch on the neck

Stranger: my hands getting as close as they have ever been

Stranger: just the edges of my fingers brishing the edges of your panties

Stranger: you can practiacally feel me going all the way

Stranger: yet instead

Stranger: I pause

Stranger: One more time

You: i still havent reciprocate

Stranger: Keep an eye on your hands making sure you don't go to please your pussy

Stranger: as I slip my boxers off

Stranger: since you know it isn't time yet no matter how much your pussy is screaming at you you woldiny jump on me as I allow you

Stranger: quickly kiss over my chist to my abs

Stranger: this time it isnt just my bulge you feel

Stranger: you feel mmy bare warm cock

Stranger: aginst your thighs as you slide down lips getting closer and closer

Stranger: you feel it pules as your pussy throbs

Stranger: seemingly made for each other

Stranger: yet I don't allwo it yet

Stranger: yout mouth is on my happy trail lips forming a kissing grin as you imagine

Stranger: finally

Stranger: you are getting down to what you pussy is really craving

Stranger: you feel it throb with your heart

Stranger: I put my hands on thour head

You: not yeeetttt

Stranger: holding your head steady

You: i need to do you first

Stranger: I make you look me in hte eyes

Stranger: I grin and say im a gentleman

Stranger: so a furiosly flip you over

Stranger: hold your hands down again

Stranger: this time go straingt to your thighs and lower abdowmne

Stranger: I notice your panties are almost soaked

Stranger: so much wetter than before

Stranger: I thin this is finally it

Stranger: your nipples are fully erect

Stranger: your pussy is so tight and wet it is throbbing harder than youve ever had

Stranger: your breath speeds up with anticipation

Stranger: as I look up at you kissing your inner thigh

Stranger: Once more I feel you quivker only more than ever before

Stranger: but you let out a sigh

Stranger: imagining it is just another tease

Stranger: im just gonna pull away leave you wanting forever

Stranger: but no

Stranger: as you close your eyes

Stranger: waiting to be left thhrobbing once again

Stranger: about to give up

Stranger: you suddenly fel it

Stranger: feel it

You: i want to be on top

You: guide me

Stranger: my fingers brushing acrossyour

Stranger: panties

Stranger: sliding them off finally

Stranger: as we flip over

Stranger: you getting right on top of me as I slip your panties onto the floor

Stranger: your legs spread on either side of me

Stranger: you are finally ready

Stranger: so excited of finally not being disappointed

Stranger: do you want to tease a littleunder your blanket as we finally make it? feel free it will add to the story if you want

Stranger: I hold your hips

Stranger: two hands as you are right on top of me

You: no i like your storyyy

Stranger: you reach down with your small little hands

Stranger: yes I will keep telling you

Stranger: it

Stranger: grab my cock and realize its been waiting as much as you

Stranger: you just feel it up and down

Stranger: fantasizing about how good it will really feel

Stranger: just lost in the moment

Stranger: it feels like perfection that will never end

Stranger: after a minute

Stranger: I take oe hand

Stranger: and finally decide

Stranger: to guide you

Stranger: I take control of my throbbing warm cock and look you in the eyes as you sit on both knees

Stranger: directly on top of me

Stranger: your eyes closed in pure bliss

Stranger: anticipation

Stranger: I take my cock

Stranger: with my other hand your body

Stranger: slowly guide it won

Stranger: down

Stranger: the tip just brusihng your throbbing pussy

Stranger: we are finally

Stranger: after everything

Stranger: both totally bare

You: is the other tab still open? :(

Stranger: exactly where we want to be

Stranger: no

Stranger: I skipped her for you

Stranger: ;)

Stranger: why do you ask?

You: i heard something just now

Stranger: as my tip just ever so slightly brusehd your pussy

Stranger: it is magic

Stranger: both of our eyes close

Stranger: we can't keeo em open

Stranger: as our eyes roolll back

Stranger: our breaths shorten

Stranger: we gsasp

Stranger: its more than youve imagined

Stranger: as I slowly rub my tip against your wet throbbing pussy

Stranger: slowly warming up

Stranger: your pussy seems to be reaching out and grabbing

Stranger: almost trying to pull me in it just want to go

Stranger: but I slowly just apply more pressure

Stranger: you just lower yourself with each inch your eyes go back further into your head

Stranger: and your exhalesrunrn into louder moans

Stranger: you sllwoly got down past the tip

Stranger: there are still 5 more inches and your tight pussy wants it all

You: what with the other sound :(

You: i cant concentrate :(

Stranger: you keep going as you feel it right up against your walls

Stranger: im sorry I have no idea

Stranger: its just me and you tho

Stranger: 5 more inches

Stranger: you just sit down even further

Stranger: 4 more

Stranger: it alread fells like heaven

Stranger: youre pussy is just gushing now

Stranger: just wants to lubricate to go deeper

Stranger: I go out after 3 inches in

Stranger: youve only gone halfway

Stranger: back in nice and slow

Stranger: as you exhale moaning with me

Stranger: as finally Im getting to enjoy your whole perfection

Stranger: as we become truly one

Stranger: you are up to five inches

Stranger: feeling so full and like you can't go

Stranger: but you push yourself all this anticipation building you up wanting to take it all

Stranger: finally

Stranger: you succeded

Stranger: you feel it up in your small body and it is pure completion

Stranger: you feel it right against your walls

Stranger: and wiggle in pleasure

Stranger: so warm

Stranger: so hard

Stranger: so tight

Stranger: so perfect

Stranger: you just go up feeling it slide along

Stranger: then back down

Stranger: youre still fully stretching and loving every second

Stranger: you on tom of me hands on your hips

Stranger: encouraging you to go faster

Stranger: you are slowly speeding up

Stranger: moaning

Stranger: more and more as we go faster

Stranger: just gasping for ari yet loving it all

Stranger: never wanitng to end

Stranger: then i begin to move my hips

Stranger: thristing

Stranger: somehow going deper than you though possible

Stranger: you know what we finally find?

Stranger: i ht something you neer have felt before

Stranger: it sends electricity througoutyour whole body like youve never felt before

Stranger: you shake

Stranger: as I thrust it happends again

Stranger: you are in awe

Stranger: pure pleasure

Stranger: just feeling us work as one

Stranger: so deep it is your G-spot

Stranger: every ride up and down is like a new snensation

Stranger: you can't stop

Stranger: it is the best feeling in the world as you feel it perfectly and me smiling up in bliss a tyou rding me

Stranger: your moaninng gets uncontrollable b

Stranger: but you don't care

Stranger: you just want more

Stranger: so I slow down

Stranger: then go nice and gentle

Stranger: as your breathing settles I then go fast again

Stranger: shocking you

Stranger: with that shivering g spot

Stranger: again your back to maoning so muucchh

Stranger: you can''t stop

Stranger: you are feeling as if your pussy is throbbing again

Stranger: youve never had this feeling or beeen this wet

Stranger: getting all over my cock sliding up and down

Stranger: we are running out of breath but don't care

Stranger: fater

Stranger: faster

Stranger: yes you moan

Stranger: just like that

Stranger: over and over

Stranger: felling of happiness overflowing

Stranger: screaming yesss

Stranger: it is everything you imagines

Stranger: then as we are going faster and faster you begin fto feel this new thing

You: everything and more

Stranger: yes and more

Stranger: youve never felt this before

Stranger: you feel as if your pussy isn't just throbbing but your gonna let loose

Stranger: a feeling you cant control

Stranger: you can't do anything but moan and go faster

Stranger: it feels better and better

Stranger: so your going faster and faster

Stranger: bumping up and down

Stranger: g-spot g spot gspot

Stranger: you didn't think this was possible

Stranger: then all the sudden you let one loose

Stranger: you scream as if in pain but it is pure pleasure

Stranger: you couldn't get wet boefore

Stranger: but now

Stranger: your letting it al out

Stranger: your pussy begins to gush all over

Stranger: squirting all over my cock as you go up

You: i neer tried that before

Stranger: it is so amazing

Stranger: you never triend squirting?

You: i dont think i can

Stranger: all women can if it is right i think

Stranger: some more and some less

Stranger: but you can

Stranger: did I make you wet at all?

You: when i feel i gotta pee i stop pleasuring myself

Stranger: you just need to let ygo

Stranger: that's the difference

Stranger: you feel it all building up

Stranger: then almost like you have to pee

Stranger: while your riding me

Stranger: but you don't care this tiem

Stranger: its too good

Stranger: you keep riding

Stranger: I don't stop

Stranger: then you let it all lose

Stranger: never knewo you could do it

Stranger: but let it all go almost like your beigng

Stranger: inly it feels like perfection

Stranger: you are in pure harmony

Stranger: squirting everywhere but I don't care because Im there too

Stranger: as I pull out you continue to squirt

Stranger: and on your final moan... i can't hild it

Stranger: let loose all over

Stranger: finally my rock hard cock can't take it

Stranger: it explodes shooitng cum

Stranger: all over as you are insipire for one last squirt

Stranger: as you rub your clit

Stranger: we finish together

Stranger: sighing with totall satisfctin

Stranger: it was perfect

Stranger: my first time

Stranger: and your first time squirting

Stranger: and finding your g spot

Stranger: we lie next to each other

Stranger: breathe

Stranger: look at each other

Stranger: then smile ;)

You: its so perfect

Stranger: then we fall asleep and can't wait for nect time ;)

Stranger: it is perfection :)

You: youve been rock hard for almost 2 hours

Stranger: hah ayeah.....

Stranger: its huritng my balls now lol

Stranger: so im starting to not get as hard its all pent up

Stranger: do you want to try something or are you satisfied?

You: im so satisfied i can touch myself

You: you need to do it also

You: or else it will hurt

Stranger: yes ;thank you

Stranger: do it together?

You: i dont like people seeing me when i touch myself. But i want to hear you

Stranger: did i earn it?

Stranger: it would be so amazing

Stranger: ighhh

Stranger: I can't make noise still but you can watch

You: let me turn off the lights so i can concetrate.

You: whyyy

Stranger: I have a roomate

Stranger: aww turning lights off ;(

You: hahaha how can you jack off with a room mate

Stranger: its ok I guess I just wish wait I can still see you

Stranger: because you are too sexy lol and he is sleeping

Stranger: its exciting

Stranger: daring

Stranger: edgy

Stranger: you ready bb?

You: i wish you could read some of it to me but you have a roommate :(

Stranger: yes maybe next time

Stranger: is there any way of contact?

Stranger: bfoere we do this?

Stranger: ugh your so dang hot teasing with that lip

Stranger: make me want to do this soo badd

You: our convo is too damn sexy

You: we can meet again here next week

Stranger: it is

You: its too dangerous outside

Stranger: email?

Stranger: yes

You: lets make a tag here

You: im only available every saturday.

Stranger: my email is [email protected]

Stranger: saturdays are best for me

Stranger: email for time?

Stranger: every sat is different for me

You: 2AM your time?

Stranger: 1AM my time?

Stranger: that would be best

You: whats ur timezone?

Stranger: Central

You: hmm whats our tag

Stranger: first timers"

Stranger: ?

Stranger: first timers

You: its too common

Stranger: what then?

You: blanket

Stranger: ok

You: can u check if theres similar

You: on your other tab while sexting with me

Stranger: sure

Stranger: didn't fine anything

Stranger: blanket

Stranger: 1am

Stranger: Saturday

You: what time is it now?

Stranger: 6:55

You: am?

Stranger: yes lol

You: you didnt sleep?!

Stranger: haha no

You: im sorry hahahha

Stranger: ive never done this and you were too perfect and you wanted to keep going haha

Stranger: so 1AM next saturday again?

You: wait let me set a reminder

Stranger: ok

Stranger: then we finsih off to make it memorable?

You: haha okay you can only here me okay

You: i need to concentrate

You: to find that freaking g spoty

Stranger: please to

Stranger: do*

Stranger: I will try my best without seeing you

Stranger: what do you want to see from me?

Stranger: face or my cock bb?

Stranger: yes bb tase it make it so wet for me

Stranger: tell me when your getting close with thumbs up

Stranger: im so hard for u rn

Stranger: if you can talk and tell me when your close ill cum with you

Stranger: yes find that g spot bb

Stranger: fast n slow

Stranger: deep strokes bb

Stranger: show me ur face if you can bb

Stranger: mmm im sooo hardd

Stranger: ready whenver you are bb

Stranger: get soo wet fro me

Stranger: so I can go nice and deeo

Stranger: scraping those walls

Stranger: and say yes bb when your close an dI should go

Stranger: ride me bb

Stranger: nice and fast then slow

Stranger: fast for a bit

Stranger: then faster then slowww

Stranger: im edging so hard for you bb so close

Stranger: take it niceand deep bb

Stranger: im so close to cumming bb

Stranger: are you?

Stranger: answer real quik sexy

Stranger: i can't hold much longer

Stranger: im about to cum

Stranger: did you cum bb?

Stranger: ready for me?

Stranger: thumbs up or say yes or type bb

Stranger: I wanna cum for you

You: soooo hot <3

Stranger: you too ;)

Stranger: wich you could see how much that was for you

You: sorry i didnt see ur chat

You: i was so focused

You: go clean an dsleep all sunday okay

Stranger: haha thank you

Stranger: do you finsih good?

You: i dont know if its done coz its still throbing

You: you know i cant squirt

Stranger: ;)

Stranger: well I hope you had a great night

Stranger: im gonna get some sleep now :)

You: go on then good morning haha byeee

Stranger: bye ;)

Stranger has disconnected.

#blanketomegle

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zumpietoo · 2 years

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Look, I’m really pissed that yesterday was like the ultimate Cole day AND had a shit ton of confirmation Jug won’t be Slizzy’s doormat again for a very, very long time...if ever....plus my entire gg of shipmates are spiraling and leaving in droves....so I’ll just try and push this narrative to make myself feel better, hmmm?

And it’s totally a BH thing! Plus I made Chip, Penny AND Used Napkin watch and they ALL agreed with me! Or rather even inanimate objects decided to go with it after begging me to STFU.

They’re professional actors and I’m well aware they’re great!

(also it would be “badly” Miss Masters Degree/Teacher)

And by “universally unpopular” I mean, OFC, I didn’t get my way and am a racist asshole!

Someone please explain why my entitled ass isn’t getting their way?

The thing is, I KNOW it’s bias----because I’m a total racist on top of everything else. Plus how can I delight in hating Cole/Jug if every narrative everywhere negates all my arguments?

Oh and I’m also aware THIS is the real block to BH----or at least I’m running with that, cuz also can’t accept PP fucked the dog (and a druggie and a weasel) IRL

I wasn’t rooting for Jug and Cora/Jessica, but they were horrible and abusive to him and that gets me soooperrr hot and bothered, so yeah, I got off on that. But Jughead with somebody who cares about him? GROSSS!!!!!

Also....really, BARFIE has chemistry? Dude, neither of them can act their way outta a wet paper bag and they despise each other IRL. Noooo...

I am soooo busy!!! And totes not bitter!! Or racist!!! Or a completely horrible, disgusting piece of trash!

It’s hilarious this is from one of the peeps who gets REALLY pissed off at the prospect of BH being ded cuz Cole doesn’t want to work with PP, huh?

Both Erinn and Cole have interviewed extensively that they enjoy working together very much----and Moonlighting was crap, you moron.

And Cole and Erinn do a great job....again, stay bitter, bitch. Not like it’s gonna change what’s written, canon or on screen....nobody GAF if you’re “disappointed”, either....

And you could just not watch...

Ummm....once again, if this were true----they’d have recast or gone in a different direction long ago. Also do love the ongoing, uber Republican anecdotal agreement as proof of majority arguments....

And OFC, wants Tabs as Mammy/Jug’s still a loser in her snide, bitchy, racist eyes.

Again, both are actually the two best actors on the show....so, yes, they can and do....and, again, your disparagement won’t change this.

Ummm.....dude, they cast Erinn entirely to be Jug’s love interest....are you seriously this fucking stupid/ignorant?

And guess what? They’re gonna continue....and LBR, this is impotent rage and can’t wait for your noobie/sock ass to get pissed off enough that you finally fuck off for good.

Gotta reblog to lick some sock ass!

That wouldn’t be what “shoehorning” is, anyway, buuutt.....”they know we don’t like”???? Ever think cuz they DGAF if you do or don’t?

Plus they work fabulously, you’re (again) a disgusting racist AND pissed off at not getting your way.

Soo....Cole is professional enough to have no issues whatsoever with working with his sexual harassing ex.....but then completely and intentionally flubs scenes with his new costar because he.....”doesn’t like her”????

Duuuuddeeee......

Yeah, the directors look at it and it’s good and you’re watching with shipper goggles.

Because they have great chemistry, Snorty....again, that your biased ass insists otherwise is immaterial

OMG.....yeah, a VD shipper is such an excellent source....duuuudeee.....KokeJ and Crotchi also have no chemistry....failll....

A) they aren’t B) why TF would they? Or is this a conspiracy to go with all the rewrites/refilming/curse/AU on a whim?

Ummmm.....I;m not making sense here, I just hate not getting my way. And, again, am racist

Yes, that’s it!!! They want to spend millions to irritate perhaps 20 randos on tumblr!! Because you’re THAT fucking important, cuz DUH!!!

Oh and in answer to all you racist cuntwipes? Go ask your kween why it’s happening, hmmmm????

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boonies · 6 years

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802 reboots and there's only one thing Eleanor wants more than redemption. Eleanor/Chidi; PG-13; 2,200 words.

"You're like goldfish I let loose in a great big ocean," Michael complains tiredly, Eleanor 13 sitting before him with a defiant scowl, "but you just keep—but you just keep swimming in a circle." "Fun fact, Michael," Janet 13.5 lectures over his shoulder, producing a deformed fish tank, "goldfish are strictly freshwater fish." Michael gives the fish tank a bleary-eyed look. "It's just," he starts again, resigned, scrubbing at his stubble, focusing on a distressed Chidi 13 instead, "I gave you a literal eternity to do literally anything you want, and what do you keep doing." "Each other," Janet cuts in helpfully. Michael clicks the button. * Sleepy, Eleanor 16 sighs into the table, cheek pressed to a coffee-stained essay, sprawled over a scattering of dogeared books, eyes focused on Chidi's broad back. "Steven Seagal." Chidi 16 pauses to process. "Oh," he corrects her, patient, offended, secretly flattered, tapping a stick of chalk to the blackboard, "Senegal." "Steven Senegal," she nods wisely. * "You've been my own personal GPS," Eleanor 75 confides with an earnest, desperate grin, fingers digging into his arms, "recalibrating me no matter how many wrong turns I chose to take—" "Ironic," Chidi 75 mutters under his breath, shoulders stiff, eyes averted, "considering my directional insanity—" "—which is how I know The Good Place isn't really a place," Eleanor argues, undeterred, turning her face to glare at Michael with a perfectly confident smirk, "it's a person." "No," Michael frowns, head tilted in consideration, "no, it's definitely a place—" "No, it's definitely Chidi," Eleanor huffs with unholy determination, "I finally figured it all o—" Sighing, Michael snaps his fingers.

* Eleanor 121 settles on the outskirts of a deserted kebab neighborhood. "You're our first resident or something," Michael tells her and books it. She spends two weeks alone. "Janet," she sighs, bored, lifeless, looking up from her pillow when Janet dutifully pops in. "Can you get me a turtle. I kinda really need a turtle right now." One fresh turtle takes a heavy hesitant step atop her skewer-cluttered nightstand. "Janet," Eleanor calls again. "Can you get me tiny glasses to put on the turtle." Janet gets her tiny glasses to put on the turtle. "Hey, Janet," Eleanor asks, lost, "why the fork am I doing this." Janet offers her a cheerful, "Unclear." * "Lemme try... Perfect Credit Score," Eleanor 204 tells the froyo dude, scanning the menu, "And Glasses here's gonna have... how's New Socks sound?" Visibly pleased, Chidi 204 shuffles closer. * "—she lives to vex me," Chidi 321 tells Tahani 321 with a long-suffering, impatient huff, stranded in her greenhouse during a daily shrimp air raid. "Technically, buddy," Eleanor 321 defends, almost fondly, crouched behind a large fern, "we're kinda dead." "This is what I mean!" Chidi points out, incredulous, adjusting his glasses. "I mean," Eleanor shrugs, tugging at one of his belt loops to scoot closer as a giant shrimp flies overhead, "I could maybe be responsible for our shrimp kamikaze friends or I might not be, is this really the hill you wanna die on, man." "As you pointed out, Eleanor," Chidi argues hotly, fixated on the insistent fingers wrapped around his belt loop, "I'm already dead." "This is precisely," Tahani snaps, the brim of her stupidly large hat shielding her stupidly beautiful face, "why I've banned you both from seeking shelter on these premises—I shan't allow myself to become a personal mediator again like I felt obligated to when my good friends, Ben and Jennifer and Jennifer—" A severed shrimp carapace crashes through the greenhouse, nicking her hat. "Out." * "Huh," Eleanor 401 nods to herself, realization dawning, "you and me—I guess we're technically illegal immigrants." Jason 401 cocks his head at the Xbox. "That's racist." Eleanor ignores him, crossing her arms and sinking deeper into the couch. "I smuggled myself into forking heaven." She pauses for a beat. "Wow, this has gotta be the worst thing I've ever—nope. Sold bags of Zayn's breath at two One Direction concerts." Unconcerned, Jason squints at her, controller held loosely in his palms, lollipop dangling from his mouth. "If I had to pick one direction I guess I'd pick south. No, left. No, up—" "We need to turn ourselves in." "Pass." "Listen," Eleanor starts, "Chidi would say it's our moral imperative to—" "Noooo," Jason whines loudly. "Chidi would say," Eleanor persists, then pauses. "Oh." * "Look," Eleanor 599 starts the negotiations, clasping Chidi's clammy hands between hers, "you should come with me to Mindy's. Because..." she takes a shaky breath, nape and collarbones itchy, "because you're the Bonnie to my Clyde, Chidi, the Karl to my Hans Gruber, the Kronk to my Yzma—" "I... " Chidi 599 manages, traumatized, "I don't even know where to start, Eleanor, you understand that all of these are bad guys, please tell me you understand, it's very important to me that you understand—" "Chidi, I only understand that you have to come with me," Eleanor tells him, soft, sincere, scared. "It's important somehow." Chidi watches her for a moment. "Okay." * "Everyone else is forking," Eleanor 666 announces casually, breezing into the guest room, mouth full of popcorn shrimp, "so we should, too, you know, probably." "Eleanor," Chidi 666 bristles, flustered, uncomfortable, visibly struggling to keep his composure and his bookmark in place, "if everyone else jumped off a building, should we?" "Bro," she points out, kinda smug, kinda shy, gesturing at the book in his lap, "we literally just finished a chapter on how conformity makes us human." "Oh, of course," he complains, nervously adjusting his glasses, "now you pay attention to my lessons. Wait. You're paying attention to my lessons, Eleanor, that's—sadly—the proudest I've been—" "Cool," she says, tossing her bucket of popcorn shrimp aside, "but are you turned on." Chidi stares. "Weirdly," he blinks, "yes." * "Perhaps," Michael says into his recorder, perched precariously atop his windowsill, only peripherally aware of Eleanor 704, "next time I could maybe tinker with the bluetooth settings—" "Wait," Chidi 704 says, gripping his chair, glasses slipping down his nose, "next time?" "Oh, right," Michael summarizes flippantly, "yeah. Okay. So we've been through some version of this like 704 times." Unenthusiastic, he sticks his hands up in surrender. "Surprise. I'm a bad guy and so are you. Let's see, what am I missing—ah, yes." He spares them an accusatory glance. "I had to reboot you jerks, like, every couple of months." "Wait—wait, what—704 reboots?" Chidi asks, horrified, vein in his forehead pulsing. "No, what—at an average of two months per cycle," he turns to Eleanor, eyes wide, left shoe tapping restlessly, "that's... 117 years." Eleanor waves him off with a dismissive scoff, "That can't be right but I don't know enough about math to dispute it." She pauses for a beat. "Why do I know that word." Michael arranges his face into a desperate sort of condescension, thumb poised over the clicker. "Character development." * "The bad place must be frozen over," Eleanor 782 tells Nightmare George Washington, "because I definitely think I have the hots for a nerd. Like. I'm not super into him or anything." The clown painting stares back. "Fine," Eleanor concedes, "I might be super into him." She turns. "Tahani, at the risk of failing Bechdel, what do you think." Tahani 782 looks up from a Better Homes and Gardens magazine, criminally long legs crossed at the ankle, hair swept to the side like a sexy mermaid. "I think dedicating an entire article to snacks is a neoteric atrocity. In this economy?" Eleanor narrows her eyes. "About feelings, Tahani. These terrible things I'm apparently having." Tahani rises with elegance, the hem of her dress sweeping down her perfect calves. "Eleanor, I must, as the Floridians say," she lectures airily, patting Eleanor's shoulder, "respectfully stay in my lane." "Fine," Eleanor complains, agitated, unnerved, defensive, "fine, I'll just figure out feelings and how to "have" them on my own—" "Eleanor," Tahani points out, placing one of Chidi's tabbed books in Eleanor's hands. "Not quite on your own." * "We don't belong here," Eleanor 800 murmurs lazily, cheek smushed against a couch cushion, ripped bag of chips cradled in her arms. Squatting by his Playstation, monk robes caught on a stack of games, Jason 800 nods sagely. "Ya, we musta used some legit cheat codes, dog." Expression blank, Eleanor watches him blow a peace kiss at the ceiling. "Dude, we have to leave." Jason gives her a scandalized pout. "Before we get Chidi in trouble," Eleanor clarifies, coaxing, "before we get Tahani in trouble." Petulantly, Jason sprawls on the floor. "I don't wanna leave. I like it here. I like how the pizza is always deep dish and how the Jaguars air on every channel and how my budhole—" "It's the right thing to do," Eleanor eulogizes. "You and me, we gotta do what's best for Chidi and Tahani." "Noo, homie," Jason sits up, slapping the rug, "what about what's best for us, huh." Eleanor nuzzles the bag of chips. "What is best for us, Jason." "I dunno," Jason admits, looking constipated, "but I do know Tahani makes me smarter and Chidi makes you gooder, so." Eleanor opens her mouth to protest, then bites down on a chip with an affectionate, lopsided smile. "He does make me gooder." * Eleanor 802 says, "Do you think it's weird." Chidi 802 says, "Always and everything, yes, but what specifically?" "That Michael deep-fried our brains 801 times and I still just..." she gives him a sideways glance, sitting by the kitchen counter, VCR queued up. "Found you." Chidi shifts atop the stool, brows knitted, fingers anxiously clawing at his knobby knees. "Perhaps, mathematically, it was mostly inevitable, since there were only four—" "I have to show you something," Eleanor interrupts, thumb paused over the play button. "Do you wanna see? It could, you know. Totally change everything, be a total plot twist, a jumping of the shark, maybe." Pained, Chidi offers her a tiny indecisive wheeze. "Well," he starts eventually, wary but focused, "according to Thomas Gray, ignorance is bliss. But also, uh, there's Francis Bacon, who argued that knowledge is power—" "I'm not gonna lie, Chidi," Eleanor shrugs one shoulder, palm upturned. "Imma side with food, not colors." Chidi pauses, a brief hint of surprised admiration softening his features. Eleanor's heart catches in her chest. "So can I show you." "Yeah." * "Hey, quick question," Chidi says on the train, fragments of the neighborhood dismantling behind them, "and I feel like I need to qualify it with a—" "Chidi." "Right, sorry," he says, pressed to her side, studiously examining his knuckles. "I've been thinking a lot lately—" "Shocker." "—and I think—feel—think I should mention a principle we didn't have time to cover in class," he rambles, adorably sweaty, "one that closely relates to skepticism, in which we have to assume that because we can only experience our own mind, every bit of knowledge outside of it is unsure and unreal—" "Solipsism," Eleanor nods politely. Chidi pauses, almost awed, lips parted, eyebrows raised. "What," Eleanor offers defensively. "I read ahead." "Oooh," Michael calls from the back, "that's how she got you in Reboot 413." Thoughtful, Chidi turns to meet her eyes. "Wait, so you know about solipsism but not where Senegal is?" "Chidi," Eleanor whines, "I'm from Arizona. We get our maps from... 1886. Countries like Africa—" "Again, Africa is not a c—" "Haven't we left The Bad Place?" Tahani demands sternly, then demurs, "I mean. Do carry on..." Awkwardly, Chidi squares his shoulders. "It's just that, hypothetically, what if none of this is real." "The probability of that is absolutely high," Janet agrees. "Oh, my stomach," Chidi groans, then refocuses. "If none of this is real, then none of the reboots, including the one where..." he trails off guiltily, "Cannonball Run II happened, happened." "Oh no, Burt Reynolds doesn't win the race?" Jason asks, noticeably upset. Eleanor ignores him, gently slipping her hand in Chidi's. "Look. What matters to me is that none of the reboots erased what I care about." She hesitates, mumbling, "You." "Oh, dang," Jason hoots, "Chidi's a virus." Five pairs of eyes laser in on him. "Yea, Chidi's like this one virus Pillboi got that one time we tried to download Party in the USA on LimeWire but it was actually a," he crooks his fingers at an angle, aghast, "cartoon porn, yo." He nods in remembrance, somber. "He never could get rid of it after that." "Are you saying, Jason, in your... graciously simple manner," Tahani translates delicately, "you believe we are inside a computer simulation." Jason purses his lips, thinking. "Okay... yeah?" "Oh," Chidi says, seeking guidance from the train's ceiling, "that wasn't helpful at all, Eleanor." Eleanor knocks his knee with hers, smiling brightly, hand still in Chidi's. "It was for me." Incredulous, Chidi observes her for a moment. "How." Eleanor's smile grows. "I'm cool with a computer simulation or eternal damnation or even Alabama," she tells him with a kind of unshakeable trust. "As long as I'm stuck with you."

#the good place #eleanor shellstrop #chidi anagonye #♪ idk the tags for this ♫#eleanor x chidi

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theabominableblogger · 6 years

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My Reaction to “Gotham” S4E19

We gotta wait two weeks until the rest of the episodes!!! Which is actually a pretty smart move because “Infinity War” premieres next week.

Initial thoughts and predictions about the last three episodes of S4 are included as well after the reaction.

AN: I managed to record my reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

*imitates the Epic Voice Trailer guy doing the Gotham commercials*

OK, this recap is totally full of spoilers for me because I haven’t seen those episodes yet so this is my first time seeing Ra’s in action and I’m trying to catch up with this show...

What did they inject her [Tabitha] with?

OK Barbara, what are you doing?

*Some League Members sneak attack Barbara* Oh wow!

“How should I know?!? You’re ninjas!” That’s... racist...

“I’m [Barbara] the Demon’s Head. My hand is a freaking lightbulb!” *snorts*

So the Demon’s Head can tell.. the future... with the flashlight hand? OK...

Bruce, your car’s so loud!

“You don’t have a covert mode on this thing?” No, cause it’s not the Batmobile yet!

*Bruce quiets the exhaust down* Ohhhh... there we go!

“All I know is it’s about Barbara and it’s important.” WHY? Why would you go along with that?

Bruce, why? Just get back in the Batmobile!

“Barbara needs our help.” Why?

They’re gonna bring him [Ra’s] back from the dead?!?

I like this music here [that plays when the other League members take some of Bruce’s blood to bring back Ra’s]

Ohhh my God!

Ooooohhhhhh my God!

Wait, what about the Lazarus Pit? Can’t they use that? Just... throw him in?

Yeah, didn’t Sofia get shot in the forehead? How is she still alive?

“What am I [Ed] to you [Lee]?” Good question.

What the hell is this storyline? Like, where are we going with this?

Freaking Oswald...

That sass, oh my god...

DID HE [Ra’s] JUST RIP OUT THE DUDE’S THROAT?

I knew Barbara wasn’t gonna last as the Demon’s Head!

Ohhhhhh who called it?? I did!

“I heard your offer. And here’s my counter...” Bite me.

“Bite me.” There we go!

“Ohhhh... God, are you kidding me?!?!?” HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

“We did not come here to fight.” No, you [Oswald] came here to mope. And bitch and complain, Oswald.

“Little advice: be sure to skim some off the top when she tosses you aside.” What? I’m sorry, what?

“Turns out the old boy’s club don’t appreciate a woman calling the shots.” I don’t think it’s that....

“I [Barbara] need to do my own thing.” Uhhhhhh.... Barbara, no...

How are they doing Ra’s half-dead zombie mouth? Is that prosthetics or CGI?

“You [Barbara] think that [the lady in the painting] was you? She was just a whore...” Ooooohhhh....

“You really thought you were an incarnated queen? But in truth, you’re just an unstable nightclub owner whose greatest accomplishment was the murder of her own parents!” Oooooohhhh....

Now there’s more flesh on his [Ra’s] hand now. There we go.

OHHHH... WOW!

WE GOT SWORD-FIGHTING RA’S AL GHUL! YES!!

*accidentally whacks laptop with a clothes hanger in excitement*

Oh that looks AWESOME!

*Ra’s impales a League member through the back with his sword from across the street* OHH WOW!

Bruce just looks pissed!

Are they [people from the Narrows] eating bugs?

Oh yeah, she’s [Lee] like the leader of the Narrows

When is Lee gonna get back to Gotham?

“You don’t get it, Jim.” No, I don’t get your [Lee’s] storyline.

“We’re gonna kill the son of a bitch [Ra’s].” How?

Why does Bruce have to the one to kill Ra’s?

*laughs* Uhh, what?

I like Alfred’s suit

Ohh my God! Haha, they’re [Alfred and Tabitha] pretending to be married!

[Selina gets lowered down through the roof to steal the knife] *starts scatting the Mission Impossible theme*

And they [the embassy security] don’t even notice the knife being gone!

No cameras were on or anything that caught that? Really?

I don’t like this whole split personality thing going on with Ed.

I don’t like this...

Or... plot twist! What happens if like both personalities figure out what’s happening and they kinda *claps hands together* merge together or something like that? I don’t know.

Selina, what are you doing?

“Give me [Barbara] the knife!” Noooo

“Stay back, muffin!” “Don’t you even go there, love!” Hahahaha!

*Barbara points a gun at Bruce* Really?

*Barbara shoots out the tires* Oh, that’s mean...

Nooooo... they [Tabitha, Barbara, and Selina] took the Batmobile!

“That lovestruck moron, Ed, is floating down a river of dopamine deep within the primitive circuit of my brain and I need you to help me drown him.” Ohhh.. wow.

“And how big is the score?” “Uh, about a hundred million. A piece.” Ohh, big payload.

“Stabby-stab!”

“Maybe call back up?” “I [Barbara] did! Here they are!” Really?!?

“Selina, we’re strongest when we’re together.” But this is a terrible plan!

Does she have to do a special spell or all she has to do is lift up her flashlight hand [to summon Ra’s]?

Like “for the glory of Merlin, daylight is at my command!’ kind of thing...

Jim, what are you up to?

45 branches?!? Of a bank?!? In one city?

*Ra’s appears after the lights flicker and go out for a moment* Ohhhh that’s cool!

“Ouch.” HAHAHA!

*Ra’s throws Barbara through a glass window* Oooooohhhh, wow!

*Bruce runs in and tackles Ra’s off of Barbara* Ohhhh, Bruce in with the assist!

What?

Oh, it’s the future!

*Barbara sees Ra’s kill Tabitha* Ohhhhh....

Wait, it’s another future thing!

“[Ra’s] You win. Just don’t hurt her [Tabitha].” Oh snap.

Ra’s funeral outfit that he’s wearing currently, with the hood, looks pretty sweet. And with the ascot tucked into the vest.. that’s nice stuff.

*Ra’s starts transforming back into himself after getting the Demon’s Head back* Uhhhh... everybody run?

Ohhhhh.... wow!

*Ra’s breaks the knife in half* Shiiiiiiitt!

Bruce’s probably like “Man, I gotta learn how to do that Stealth Hi-Bye in the shadows like Ra’s does!”

Oh he [The Riddler] double-crossed them [Oswald and Butch]!

“If you come against Lee, you come against me.” *cue incredulous look toward screen*

Take a shot every time Oswald goes into crazy yelling mode

Wasn’t it like a few episodes ago where the Riddler broke Oswald out of Arkham and they had their whole working together thing?

I like that shot of Ed putting on the bowler hat

Lee...

“[Lee] You know your rights.” Oh wow. Cold!

Barbara, what are you wearing? That’s hideous.

*Barbara’s League members pledge their loyalty to her* Ooohhh, so she has her own army now?!?

Ohhh... OK, things are getting interesting!

Can’t they just forge it [the knife] back together?

*Bruce leans in to kiss Selina* Oh oh ooh ooooohhhhhhh....

*Ra’s interrupts* OOOHH!!

Has he [Ra’s] been there the whole time?

“You have no idea what I’ll become.” “Of course I do. At least, what you could become.” He’s telling the future!

“When I took back the Demon’s Head, I saw a vision of a cataclysmic event soon to befall this city.” No Man’s Land!

“A cleansing fire that will purify, destroy, create.” Ohhh..

“I will use it as a mighty forge, molding you into a dark knight of Gotham.” Aaaahhhh!!

Oh wow!

OK, does that mean that for the No Man’s Land storyline coming up, does that we’re gonna get a “Batman Begins” kind of situation? Where they would have to close off the Narrows and leave Scarecrow to go nuts in there.. and then...

“A cleansing fire...” yeah, they’re gonna try to burn it down! Yeah, it’s gonna be like the Great Fire of London and burn Gotham down to the ground. Are they gonna have that as well as the earthquake? Because with No Man’s Land, the earthquake caused the government to segregate Gotham from the rest of the world (like no one was allowed in or out). So how is this gonna work?

Or maybe Ra’s hasn’t seen like the whole future yet... no, he has to know, because Barbara had that whole Butterfly effect thing with seeing what decisions were bad for her to make. So maybe he’s not telling Bruce the whole truth...

And with Season 5, if we ever get a Season 5, is gonna be a soft reboot because they’re gonna bring in more Batman-related elements so probably in the season finale, Bruce is gonna step up his vigilante game and all that (but I highly doubt he’s gonna go full Batman at the age of 18 like whoa, little soon, buddy).

And promo pictures of some of the villains doing their own thing were released already, so that’s probably how this season’s gonna end. Wow. Because we have Jeremiah stepping in as the Proto-Joker (who looks eerily like young Jack Napier from the 1989 Batman), and then all the others... wow!

And then, what’s gonna happen to Ecco? She’s his [Jeremiah] bodyguard! Like, he said that she pledged his life to him or something like that and he looked pretty freaked out when he though Ecco was in danger. I don’t know what’s gonna happen to her.... I really hope she lives. I know there’s a lot of theories going around about her.. there’s a theory that she’s gonna be Harley Quinn, which I’m not sure about.... while I kinda find it interesting, I’m more leaning toward the fact that there is another character from “No Man’s Land” named Echo, and that’s who she is. Or...theory time: what if Ecco ends up teaming up with Bruce and Gordon and she’s like “Hey, so Jeremiah’s going off the deep end and I want to make sure you guys can take him down rightfully but in order to do that, I’m gonna be a double agent for you guys and still work with Jeremiah as his bodyguard.” I can see that happening...

How is the end of this season gonna go?

#to our deaths and beyond #Gotham #gotham spoilers #FOX #the blogger reacts #looked at the stars and considered a reaction #barbara kean #tabitha galavan #bruce wayne #ra's al ghul #lee tompkins #edward nygma #oswald copplepot #no man's land #jeremiah valeska #jim gordon #selina kyle

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kittenwatchesthings · 6 years

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Geostorm Liveblog

It’s been a hot minute ( many many hot minutes, actually) since I liveblogged here, and that’s because The Core fucked me up so bad that I still haven’t finished it. Yeah. That was a year ago (or longer, because I picked a theme that doesn’t timstamp my posts). I got as far as the geode and noped the fuck out, but to this day I am still pondering the velocity and force needed for a pigeon to break windows. Just saying.

Anyways, it’s Superbowl Sunday and I could care less and Redbox had a deal so I picked up Geostorm. I will tell you how much I know about this movie.

Gerard Butler is in it.

Gerard Butler controls the satellites that control the weather.

The satellites get fucked up.

They fuck shit up.

There are giant tsunamis.

I think there were like six tornadoes in NYC or something IDK I watched the trailer months ago.

I think he has a daughter because they always have daughters in disaster movies right?

Let’s get started.

This movie is rated PG-13 for destruction and violence.

Annnnnd we start with the child voiceover because Drama™. Climate change!

Actual quote: “They called it extreme weather. They didn’t know what extreme is.”

(I am not even 30 seconds in this is gonna be great.)

Okay I’m now like a minute in and I have two things to say.

1. These are excellent videos of natural disasters 2. I hope they got permission for the videos

So they’re essentially using explosives to control the weather. Yup. That’s totally gonna work. And they called it Dutch Boy. Yeah. Great.

Ohhhh Gerard is gonna be snarky to the senators. Nice. I like him.

The senator is clearly gonna be the bad guy in this movie. I can’t wait for him to die.

Also Gerard is not really aging very well. He still looks good just not as good as 2005 Gerard.

His brother is clearly a politician because he’s all “you fucked up and I gotta fire you” but at least he kinda cried about it too.

Anyways we’re headed to the desert where shit is about go down I can just feel it.

Who the fuck came up with this

Oh there’s a town completely frozen over OH his hand came off well shit

THE PRESIDENT ONLY CARES ABOUT HIMSELF

Little brother has redeemed himself by caring more about the 300 people in the village that froze to death

fuck you, Mr President

Ed Harris knows what’s up. He says get Gerard up on that space station

meanwhile, in space, a foreign guy (of course, because America is full of racists) is stealing information, and does every single country have its own satellite? even Djibouti? that seems excessive to me.

Nevermind the guy is dead. I 100% thought he was doing normal shit until he stuck the… uh… datapen? whatever. until he stuck it into the binder all sneaky-like. Not entirely sure wtf just happened on the ISS but we’ve just cut to the country where Gerard’s daughter is brainy and fixing something all by herself.

Awww her name is Hannah I have a sister named Hannah

oh now the brothers are fighting

guilt trippingggg

Ohhhhh so there’s another guy on the ISS fucking shit up. I bet he made the airlock open to kill Makmoud. Why the fuck people gotta fuck shit up?

(The answer is that people are fucking awful)

no wait I lied this guy is on Earth, in China, where it is very hot

CAT THERE IS A CAT IT IS PURRING STOP EVERYTHING

Oh um the ground is so hot you can fry eggs on it WHY IS THE PIPE RED HOT OH LOOK AN EXPLOSION

FIRENADO ALERT

what the actual fuck is going on

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

okay I’mma try and wrap my head around this… it got so hot that the gas pipelines turned red hot, overheated, exploded everywhere, and toppled buildings

1. NOT PLAUSIBLE 2. Pipes run at least 3 feet underground which is not gonna get that fucking hot and I’m pretty sure the gas would expand and destroy the lines before they actually get red hot 3. Whether actual fire explosions (and not superheated gas) happen would be up to whether there are sparks or not

okay so it was indeed gas main explosions, thank you Hannah for explaining

still doesn’t excuse the TERRIBLE SCIENCE

Hannah is a smart cookie I like her

still using fucking space shuttles I see and he’s not even in a space suit what kind of space movie is this (okay he’s kind of in a space suit but really)

can u not with the dizzying space images? I’m still fucked up from Gravity

THE Jake Lawson

Also Gerard’s American accent is riddled with Scottish which is likely why he just said he was born in the UK (I like the Scots better than the American anyway roll those r’s baby)

Okay anyway apparently the satellites are getting fucked up by someone IN THE WHITE HOUSE how surprising is that (not at all)

SOMEBODY’S COME TO FUCK WITH CHENG

THE BROTHERS ARE FIGHTING AGAIN

THIS IS NOT THE DRAMA I SIGNED UP FOR

AHHH THERE IS THE DRAMA

I suspect Dassite(?) has something to do with this. But I am worried something’s gonna go wrong on this spacewalk.

SOMEBODY FUCKED WITH JAKE’S SUIT

DAMMIT I SAID NO MORE DIZZYING SPACE SHIT I’M STILL FUCKED UP FROM GRAVITY

FUCK CHENG NO

Really we need this brotherly–ohhhhh it’s a fucking coded message hell yeah Jake

FUCK NOT THE GIRLFRIEND

oh okay Dana is my fave

OMG the girlfriend’s name is Sarah helllll yeah

Ohhhhh Makmoud I am sorry for thinking you were bad you were being good! It is clearly the Americans fucking all of this up

DUSSETTE IS GOOD TOO I’M SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU BOTH

SHIT they weaponized it everything’s fucked up

THE PRESIDENT FUCKED THIS SHIT UP

Max is gonna fuck this up I just know it

FUCK NOT TOKYO

oh hey the giant hailstones from the trailer holy fuck they are huge

what the fuck ice in Brazil

BIRDS FALLING DEAD FROM THE SKY INCLUDING A PLANE

ONE HOUR AND THIRTY MINUTES TO GEOSTORM

FUCK ed harris is onto max

WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THE STATION SELF DESTRUCTING

WHO FUCKED IT UP

IT WAS DUNCAN

SHIT SON FUCK HIM UP JAKE

of fucking course Ed Harris is the one behind it he’s the best at being bad

but why is it the DNC why are they democrats why are the dems the bad ones

SARAH IS BEST AT LYING

GO SARAH GO

THERE’S THE TORNADOES

So lightning just blew up the arena where the DNC was being held and I’m having flashbacks to The Core when a lightning storm fucked up Rome and exploded the Coliseum so THANKS Geostorm

Annnnd Russia is melting and the Prez is skeptical (of course)

FUCK the shithole guy survived

SARAH IS THE BEST

EY NOW HE DEAD

Noooo poor Hannah

SHIT JAKE NO

lol Max and Sarah have you beat fucking Ed Harris

fucking deck him Mr President

HELL YEAH MAX

Anyways, tsunami in Dubai. GIANT FUCKING TSUNAMI. Definitely bigger than fucking San Andreas

NO JAKE CAN’T DIE

HE’S THE FUCKING HERO

THAT WAS THE MOST STRESSFUL FIVE MINUTES I CAN REMEMBER

oh no Ute is gonna die isn’t she

wait she’s still going

okay they’re in the satellite that should be okay right

HERNANDEZ

yay happy ending

Okay so um.

Final thoughts: I got way too emotionally invested in the movie but at this moment (despite what some conspiracy theorists believe) we CANNOT control the weather satellites. We do not yet have this capability and I fully believe that we will not have it by 2019 or even 2025, especially if the US government and public opinion stay as they are right now. This movie was likely based on conspiracy theories surrounding HAARP, which I won’t get into, but it’s safe to say that we can’t control the fucking weather and we’re not going to for a long time.

So uh… nice concept, nice drama, the science fucking sucked. Definitely sci-fi rather than actually fucking plausible. The end.

Science 0/5 Plot 5/5 because fuck this movie Special effects 4/5 because some of the scenes in the space suits looked kinda fake but the rest was A+

#geostorm #liveblog

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ejmcmoon · 6 years

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Black Lightning 1x02

So I decided to react to the Black Lightning Series because it’s so damn good. I definitely recommend watching it. You can find it on the CW’s website if you didn’t catch it. It’s got representation, the writing is great, and the fight scenes are awesome! Please don’t sleep on this show!

Warning: Spoilers below the cut.

Oh no is all this talk of prostitute stuff foreshadowing something happening to the girls?

Wtf is happening to Jefferson?

Yayyyy Lynn x Jefferson moment

But if he only saves the girls and then stops, people can tell it’s him, right?

SEE!! THEY CAN TELL!!

YOU GO, LAWANDA!

WOw this guy is RACIST

I still can’t believe this guy has a name like Latavius and chose LALA

Shit I thought she knew who he is

“Everybody say they praying for me, but aint nobody willing to fight for me” Damn that’s deep. I love LaWanda

SHIT YOU SLIPPED UP JEFF

WAIT WILL’S STILL ALIVE! I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD

Aww she’s still outta school...poor girl Ok I kinda ship Jen with this guy, he’s cute. Better than the douche last episode

GODDAMN HE’S A LITTLE BOY WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIM

Did she not realize she’s bulletproof?

Shit’s about to go down!!!! You messed with the wrong father Oh it was just a water gun lol

“Don’t mistake my patience for weakness, boy” YESSSS YOU TELL EM JEFFERSON YOU TELL EM

Oooh the theme song yass

LESBIAANNNSS Kisses make everything better

I like this BROTP between Jeff and Henderson. They’re fun…. Oh gosh Lawanda, Lawanda,,,,,,

You know I like that they made Latavius (I refuse to call him Lala) a well-rounded character. He’s just sitting there jamming to some music in his car like any other person. It really makes him relatable and I actually like him as a villain

Will is screwed…

So, lemme get this straight he got zapped by lightning and thrown into his car and he survived, but Latavius shot in the head and he’s dead???? What?????

Also, damn Latavius. Killing your own family. Relatable, but still a psycho. I like it

This guy’s a badass. I bet he left that music on in his car so he can feel like a badass in some mystery murder movie with his own soundtrack relatable relatable

It’s official. Latavius is my favorite villain ever besides the fact that his alias is stupid.

“None of that’s gonna matter if your daughter comes back home and your daughter’s dead” Dang LaWanda and Jeff have awesome scenes together

YOU BETTER NOT LET HER DOWN JEFF

YOU LOVE HERRRRRR THAT’S WHAT YOU REALIZED You poor awkward baby HE’S SO CUTE AND THIS IS SO REALISTIC AND UHHHH I LOVE THEM THE SHIPS IN THIS SHOW ARE SAILING FULL STEAM AHEAD I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Honestly this is so relatable my dad never remembers my friends’ names

They’re so cuteee and smooth

“As a neuroscientist, I know everything there is know about the brain, but not so much about the heart” DAMN GIRLLL DAMNNN

YOU RIGHT JEFF YOU RIGHT YOU GOT A SMOOTH WOMAN RIGHT THERE AHHHH THESE WRITERS ARE SOOO GOOD

Oh no this woman better not get hurt I love her so much don’t hurt her

No don’t do it Lawanda don’t do it

Girlll what you doing walking up to a fucking drug lord. You strong, but you stupid

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOO COMMERCIAL BREAK WHYYYYYYYY

Yup this is the part where he cracks isn’t it? Yup he is Why aren’t the lamps flickering?? Awww she was his student. I knew that before, but now the feels are hitting me man. He’s like the black version of mcgonagall and it’s like her having to see James and Lily dead. The feels man the feels LynN shut uuuuupppppp

Oh damn he took her hands off his face savage

BLACK LIGHTNING IS BACKKKKKKK

Ok a black panther ad just came on and I think that’s so fitting BLACK REPRESENTATION FOR THE WINNNNNNN

Gambi’s smart

Man she’s smoking and drinking and probably skipping class. Jen needs to get her life togetheerrrr

You tell her Khalil. I’m glad her man’s talking some sense into her Aww they’re cute

Lynn needs to stop treating this like an addiction “And then he stopped because he was addicted to you” Oh dammmn he came for her life

Yay they gonna get Lala (ugh I hate calling him that)

“Oh he is fine” Just imagine all the black lightning fangirls lmao I love how he’s just casually walking in there and the music is great Okay, the staircase line was great and all, but the elevator’s fast and isn’t latavius gonna catch on that Jeff’s after him?

Oh yay they caught him Damn two dead people busted him gotta clean after yourself better LALA

Why you going out in the dark in a dangerous city? Damn both of these girls are idiots. First Jen and the 100 club and now Anissa does this?

Oh damn another panic attack poor girl YES YOU FUCK HIM UP

YESSSS YOU GET UP WITH A SMILE GIRL I LOVE HERRRRRRRRR THIS FAMILY IS SO BADASS

Oh no is he WATCHING PORN AND DRINKING THIS FAMILY IS BADASS BUT THEY GOT ISSUESSSSSSSSS

Never mind it’s just lynn false alarm false alarm lmao

I love LaLa but tobias seems so one dimensional

Nooo don’t kill himmm i liiiked him

Ugh they’re not afraid to just kill people off

Okay so overall this episode was AWESOME! They had some great quotes and scenes and I loved LaWanda. I hate that they did Latavius bad like that he was so great. You don’t get villains with that much complexity these days and I’m hoping that he just pulls a leaf out of Will’s book and somehow survives. It was illogical with will, but you know I might just let it slide if they do it with Latavius.

Also, to elaborate with the ending scene with Jeff, it’s good that it wasn’t porn and it was just Lynn bc at least he’s loyal you know. But at the same time the way he was watching it is kinda like an addiction to Lynn. It’s like porn but only with Lynn. So I think Gambi’s right. She’s calling his powers an addiction, but she’s the addiction.

And you can see even though they’re “separated” they’re still showing each other affection and it’s kinda like she’s teasing him. (not sleeping in the same bed, saying she’s gotta take it slow). And he goes along with it bc he wants more. So yeah it is an addiction and like any addiction it’s stopping him from doing what’s right. LaWanda was his student and like a daughter to him and Lynn was still tryna stop him

So yeah, they have cute scenes, but Lynn is kinda unhealthy for him at the same time and she’s holding him back. You know, people always tell women to not let men hold them back, but men, don’t let your women hold you back either. And same goes for mlm and wlw. And people who don’t give a fuck about gender. DON’T LET PEOPLE STOP YOU FROM ACHIEVING YOUR DREAMS AND DOING THE RIGHT THING

Which, going back to the wonderful wlw in this episode, Anissa and her girlfriend are clearly a foil to Jeff and Lynn bc when Anissa said that she was busy chasing all her dreams, the girlfriend said that she wasn’t tryna hold her back, which is exactly the opposite of what Lynn is doing to Jeff.

But also, I like that it’s not like they’re having a lgbt+ couple be the good one and a het relationship be the unhealthy one as if het relationships are inherently unhealthy and lgbt+ ones are inherently healthy bc anissa and her gf have their issues just like jeff and lynn have their good moments.

And it’s really nice that the girlfriend wants more than just sex bc I feel like a lot of wlw couples focus on the sexual stuff. Like, why can’t we have sitcom lesbians and lesbians fighting crime and stuff without it being sexual?

But also they balance out the relationships by having this REALLY CUTE thing with Jen and her guy. He’s so cute and supportive and I really liked their get together scene on the roof. It wasn’t some overdone dramatic first kiss scene. It was just two awkward teens getting together and the kiss wasn’t anything big. Also, when he brought out the necklace and she smiled, IT WAS SO CUTE

And he’s just so supportive and he’s just tryna get her on the right track. And he’s got a tough family situation, but he’s still tryna keep his life together. Get you a partner like that.

Also, I love how the girls are going through the trauma in their own ways. Anissa has panic attacks and Jen drinks. You know, in a lot of superhero shows, people go through traumatic shit and brush it off, but these writers are showing the aftermath and it’s great. Also, the girls experience it differently. Jen is outwardly cheerFUL and stuff in an effort to distract herself. And Anissa’s a little more shaken. It just shows that PTSD symptoms always vary depending on the person

But I did like that scene where she threw that guy across the store and got up and smiled like she was proud of herself. That was badass.

Anyway, this review was a mess, but I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy the show. Writers, if you see this, KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK AND I HOPE IT GETS RENEWED FOR A SEASON 2!!!

#black lightning #black lightning spoilers #reaction #1x02

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