Tumgik
#but sometimes i just wish i could get a job. everyone says they hate work but i dont even care
blessedshortcake · 5 months
Text
Delete later
I dont know if its the holidays coming up that has me stressing again or just everything piling up in general but its that time of my existence again when i genuinely consider serious harm to get some kind of significant help or care thats more than "just stop worrying"
I cant take school. Im too burnt out and i dont have time to recharge even tho i only have school twice a week. I have no help from my family because asking them for help will either get me forced to live with an unstable household with my sister or in an unstable household with my mother. In both cases shamed and reprihended but in different ways ig so its a pick your poison moment. I cant win
I havent been to class in months. Im terrified. Im failing i dont have enough grades and none of my classmates know me so i cant ask anyone for help. Im terrified if i drop out the gov will make me pay back the child support ive been Literally living off of since i live by myself and wont be hired anywhere because i didnt graduate yet and here you wont be hired without that for like 95% of job spaces. Youre either a student working or have your diploma or you dont exist at all
I gave up hobbies that cost money ive been doing my best to eat whatevers home so i dont spend extra money ordering in but i just dont have the energy to do this anymore. I want a job. I want a job so bad i want to be done with school i cant do school we literally have ptsd from school and no support from anyone around like family or teachers. I cant apply for therapy again because theres a 6 month waitlist and by then its fucking summer (probably) and even then it takes at least a year to start getting any diagnosis and i never managed to hold down a therapist for long enough. They dont take you seriously here in their eyes we were always just lazy or a little sad or haha teenage anxiety
We cant enter a school building without bordering an anxiety attack even if its just for like an art show or any non education related reasons. We cant learn due to alter to alter amnesia (OSDD i almost never talk about it on here but yea hi system here this is Hell) because in classes we either dissociate too bad due to the panic it causes us to just Be behind a desk taking notes with people to actually remember what we wrote if we did write anything and then if you learn anything at home theres a 10% chance youre gonna be the guy at front to take the test because, again, fear.
What the hell am i meant to do when i feel like the best option here is to either blind myself so i get to be excused since id have to restart my life pretty much or try and pretend i was hit by a car on accident because i cant sign into a ward here. I cant call a crisis hotline like "yea i wanna die it sucks ass here" because my family will again either force me to live with someone mentioned above or kick me out and then what. I cant do this im not gonna do anything harsh that could end me like thats not what im saying here im just frustrated and scared and sad about how hopeless this all feels like
1 note · View note
itsbecomeblue · 3 months
Text
band!ellie 2 headcanons and smau
Tumblr media
sinopse: ellie williams is the lead singer in a band (+some texts with her).
cw: nsfw after the texts with warning! swearing, explicit, reader works in a record store and ellie's a simp, not explicit if reader is fem or masc.
part 1
☆ at first dina and jesse could NOT bring themselves to believe ellie found her girl, but then they met you.
“this shit's cringe as fuck but the way y'all act around eachother…” jesse starts and dina immediately agrees.
“yeah, she's perfect for you, el.”
“i knowwwww, i need her.” jumping like a teenage girl fr…
☆ sometimes she thinks her bandmates like you way too much.
“invite y/n to the next rehearsal too for real.” jesse says after you leave a rehearsal you went to.
“okay man i get it, she's amazing.” with an annoyed expression.
“so… invite her.” dina chuckles.
“no, i don't want any of you jumping on my girl.” but she does invite you anyway.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
☆ she's so stupid tbh, she's gonna sign girls’ tits after concerts and act all oblivious when you swerve her kisses.
☆ and swerving her is so fun istg, she's gonna try like 4 times before she's upset. UPSET! (she will go non verbal).
☆ the type to perform and glance at you like you're about to have sex right that instant (u will, after the concert tho!).
☆ she is a singer herself but turns on the tv and pretends to be the weeknd for you.
☆ she wishes she could rap… actually, no. she thinks she can.
"that was... something." you smirk and she scoffs, throwing herself on the couch she was standing on, mic in hand.
"i'm literally in my rapper era but whatever, you'll see." and you're full on laughing. "don't laugh." and you come hug her and say she's so so special.
☆ you can't open x (twitter) without seeing girls mourning your girlfriend… she's alive not single tho!
Tumblr media
☆ always late for everything, but she tries her best istg. you and the band are TIREDDD.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
☆ nervous about pda… but she likes it, showing everyone you're hers and she's yours.
☆ made a slideshow about how you should move into her apartment… that was kinda like:
“REASONS FRRRR 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯
ALL OF THEM 🤣
we're literally soulmates so we gotta be roommates too???
countless sleepovers omg i'm crying!
i'll never be late again (kinda😬)
we can get a pet tg 😯
i'll get to listen to u sing in the shower more and you know i like hearing you and singing with you while im in the toilet or even outside the bathroom
passionate lesbian sex before sleeping, after eating, doing the dishes, the laundry ALL THE TIME
i love you the most and i want you close all the time
you love me back (i hope) so you gotta want me close too
i want you as my wife asap
think about it, thanks and please my love ❤️”
you moved in… weak mf but can anyone blame you??
Tumblr media
☆ loves cooking with you for friends and family when they come over. just loves being with you in general but even house chores are better with you??
☆ comes disturb see you at your job, your bosses hate her and said they were gonna stop selling their album 😒 (they actually love her).
☆ switches from your serious cool rockstar girlfriend to your silly baby girlfriend in a second.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
☆ when fans edit you, reposts them and comments under them more than on her own (she has a folder of them on tiktok)
“that's my baby so stop gawking.(jk)” “whats her @” “id repost but my gf would be jealous, shes hot asf 🤤🤤” “THAT'S MY GIRL” “creamed💔”
someone said “ellie cant handle allat” and she replied fr “true, she the one handling me 💯💢” SHE HAS NO CHILL
☆ she pays the same attention to potential hate you'd get, she will block them… don't talk about her girl.
nsfw (cw: cunnilingus [e and r!receiving], fingering [e and r!receiving]. switch!ellie!!!!).
☆ you were supposed to be in the shower but ellie saw you stripping out of your clothes and she has to ask to kiss your clit, dropping to her knees. her fingers bruising your thighs and shes eating you out as if she'd been starving. you cum but she's not satisfied yet, she pulls you down on the bedroom carpet with her "give me another one, please." hands roaming your skin ever so softly, sending shivers down your body. she asks what you want, the position, how many fingers, she just needs to please you. and now she's on top of you, pounding you with her fingers and pressing down your lower stomach because she just wants you to cum again.
☆ she's gonna be in bed with you, almost asleep asking you for kisses, then for some touches... and you end up between her legs, sloppy nasty head and some slow fingering. your lips around her clit and kissing her pussy lips and slit and your fingers in and out her pussy. she's whining and squealing, playing with her own tits and caressing ur face. you're humming against her pussy and she's clenches "let go for me, ellie..." you coo and she squirts on your mouth and fingers. soft pants leaving her lips, soon stopping with her caresses on your face as you lick her cum. you look up, hair messy against the pillow and eyes closed. "i love you..." she mutters after you clean her and lay next to her "i love you." you spoon her.
a/n: this is kinda shitty but it's for who asked for more! @kyleeservopoulos @sameenatruther @harrysslutsstuff
2K notes · View notes
exhaslo · 1 month
Note
Can you do like a God Miguel and devil fem reader, this is my first request so please no hate 😭 Oh yeah AND SMUTTTTT
That man is basically a God, haha. Usually I see this request the opposite way, so this is going to be so much fun!
Warning: MINORS DNI, Smut, teasing, taunting, handsy, oral sex (m receiving), riding, rough sex, dirty talk, doggy style, creampie
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"C'mon, Big Boy. Afraid to show a lil ol' devil like me what a taste of Heaven looks like?"
This was a sight to behold. No one had ever dared to question or even go against Miguel's ruling. There was a reason why the two dimensions were split between Heaven and Hell. There were a whole list of reasons.
One of them, being devils like you.
You gave a wicked smile towards Miguel, the God of Heaven himself, the ruler of all Angels. Hell, the very man whom separated the Angels and Devils. He was one who controlled all. One who could change the course of fate itself.
"What's a Sinner like me to do in order to enter your pearly white gates of Heaven?" You cooed, getting on your knees.
"You have already made your choices in life. You must live with the consequences of your actions." Miguel spoke.
You gave a pout, pressing your lower lip out while pressing your breasts together.
"But, it wasn't all my fault! I'm here to confess my sins and do right. Please, give me a chance? Isn't that what Angels do? Give second chances?" You begged.
Miguel grunted lowly as he shooed his Angels away. They had started to whisper amongst themselves because sadly, you were right. Miguel disliked it when a devil would sway the good hearted with cruel twists of truth.
"You wish to be redeemed? How do you plan on doing so?" Miguel asked. You bit your lower lip, finding his scowl hot,
"I'll do anything."
-------
Miguel sure had you work your way into heaven. As God, he personally oversaw your progress. Every human you helped; everyone good deed you did; everything was in his sight.
Even your advances. You were sly as you did your job. Poking your ass out slightly; accidently having a tit pop out; hell even using the old lollipop trick. You were doing whatever it took to try and sway Miguel in your favor.
"Hm, excellent work. Perhaps I just might consider your arrival into heaven after a few thousand more good deeds." Miguel hummed. You felt your eye twitch,
"Thousand? Isn't there anything more..." You slid your hand down Miguel's chest, "Intense I could do?"
"Have you forgotten who I am?"
"I haven't," You whispered in his ear, slowly lowering your tank top, "I know that you rule over everything. You see everything while no one can see you. You poor stressed God."
"I'm not stressed." Miguel huffed as he glanced around the human world, "I know what you've really been after this whole time."
"Hm? You have?" You cooed, "Then why entertain me?"
"Because even a God gets bored."
In the next second, both you and Miguel were in what looked like a human hotel room. A smile curled upon your lips as you spread your legs on the bed, slowly removing your top. You gave Miguel a seductive look, motioning him over,
"So bored that you'll entertain a devil?" Miguel scoffed,
"So bored that one might say I am stressed." He tried to change the topic, but sighed, "Sometimes even I grow jealous of how easily humans find pleasure."
You raised a brow, your smile growing wider. You sat up, reaching for Miguel. Your hands stroking down his chest as you threw your top across the room.
"Allow me to give you a show then?" You whispered.
Swapping places with Miguel, you proceeded to give him a little lap dance. As you moved your ass against his crotch, you started to take your bra off. For a God like him to entertain a devil like you, oh this was going to be good.
You nibbled against his ear as you took off you pants, revealing no underwear. A chuckle escaped your lips as you glanced down towards Miguel's erection.
"Hm, does mini God wanna play?" You cooed.
"Perhaps I could show you what heaven tastes like after all." Miguel played along.
Oh, that made you wet. You hands were all over Miguel now. You just had to strip him, but slowly. You cute little devil tail twirled as you started to grind against Miguel's white robes. You stroked his face, watching his temptation grow,
"Shall I do all the work?" You whispered. Miguel just smirked,
"Weren't you the one who needed to get into heaven?"
You huffed as you removed his robes. Eyes widening at the sight of his dick. He wasn't a God for nothing. With a lick of your lips, you got on your knees and started to work your magic. You had good deeds to do after all.
"How many deeds if I make you cum?" You hummed with a lick of his tip.
"A hundred."
"Oh? Then I'll have my work cut out."
"It's a good thing stamina doesn't exist for me." Miguel said with a smirk, which made you quiver.
Ignoring that thought for now, you returned to stroking and sucking Miguel's dick. Of course God doesn't have stamina. Even devils and angels had it. Well, at least you were trying to earn his forgiveness and not the other way around.
You moaned lowly as you started to take Miguel deeper. His dick was thick and long. Just the thought of him ravishing you was making you horny. Not to mention the sounds of his grunts was delicious. If only you were a succubus, this would make a fine meal.
"Still waiting to be impressed." Miguel teased.
You felt your eye twitch as you kept sucking. What more did he want? Gasping, you felt his hands on your head as he started to thrust into your mouth. Tears started to form as you tried to breathe through you nose.
"Here's your first hundred." Miguel groaned.
You nearly gagged as Miguel cummed inside your mouth. Moving away, you swallowed what you could, but coughed up the rest. There was so much. Wiping your mouth, you glanced at his still harden erection and chuckled,
"If that's the case, then this will be easy."
--------
"Are you giving up already? What a poor little slutty devil you are." Miguel mocked as you bounced on his cock.
You were drooling as you rode Miguel. His dick fit so nicely inside you, stretching all your walls as you fucked him. His tip hit the far back of your cervix, making you really see heaven in a different light. You had only fucked him for a few minutes and you felt like giving in.
"Is this all Hell has to offer?" Miguel asked. You flinched, feeling yourself about to cum again,
"N-No...J-Just....so...ah~" You whined, jumping down once more only to cum.
"This is why you need my help."
Miguel held your waist and started to thrust up inside you, causing you to moan and squirm. His dick was too much. He was hitting you in all the right places. Gripping your hips, Miguel watched your tits bounce as he fucked you from below.
"Tsk, tsk, this poor little devil wants forgiveness right?"
"Y-Yesh~"
"I'll give it to you. One load at a time."
You shuddered towards his words as he released a heavy load inside you. Gasping, you felt Miguel press you against the bed, entering you from behind. His grip was still tight as he started to pound your pussy.
"Such lewd sounds you're making. Does my dick feel that good?"
"Ah~ Ah~ Y-Yes!" You cried out, gripping the bedsheets. Miguel chuckled, listening to the sound of his dick slapping into you,
"Can you feel my holy presence inside you? Is this the taste of heaven you wanted so much?"
"Ah~ Mhm~"
You couldn't think. You felt your eyes roll back as you focused on Miguel pounding you. His hot cum just begging to spill before his next load. This was truly paradise.
"So cock drunk that you can't even think. What a slutty devil you are." Miguel hummed, feeling you cum around him, "But you are doing the best deed there is."
"Mhm!" You gasped as Miguel slapped into your gummy walls faster,
"Keep coming to me for your forgiveness and I'll happily give it to your horny pussy." He groaned, cumming once more, "How does that sound?"
"Ah~ Y-Yes~ Yes~" You moaned loudly.
Miguel just chuckled in response, turning you over. You were out of breathe and fucked out. Miguel glanced at your body, watching your devil wings disappear since you had no energy. Another chuckle escaped his lips as he watched his cum leak out of you,
"Don't suppose you want to start a new race? I have unless stamina after all."
You had a long road of forgiveness ahead of you, but you weren't complaining in the slightest.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I CAN FEEL THE JUDGEMENT FROM ABOVE, BUT WE ALL KNOW I'M GOING DOWN! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!!
554 notes · View notes
hyunniesgirl · 3 months
Text
Bad intentions | Part 1
Pairing: nerd!Han Jisung x popular!reader(afab)
Summary: you thought you could turn Han Jisung into the perfect boyfriend material so you can get revenge on your cheating ex. Little did you know that you would end up getting much more than just a guy to show off.
Genre: fluff, angst, smut(for the story in general, this part has no smut)
Words count: 8,056
Slightly inspired in the movie She's All That
*This is the second fic to my series Love is a mess. The stories can be read as standalones but they are all connected so some details mentioned may sound off.
Disclaimer: Jisung is proud asf, OC has kind of a sad backstory and has anxiety(not explored very deeply but there are descriptions of her symptoms), this part is just suggestive so no smut
Part 2
This story is NSFW and is going to have +18 themes so MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
A/N: okay for the sake of the plot let's pretend for a moment that Han Jisung can be considered anything other than smocking hot, alright?
A/N²: My idea was for all the stories from this series to be oneshots but I just kept writing and writing and this one was almost 13k already and I haven't even gotten to the good part so I thought "I almost never read anything over 10k" so I split the oneshot for the sake of my readers attention span.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Jisung likes to think that he's better than all the guys fawning over you, he likes to think that even if he had a chance, he'd never lust over you. But well, sometimes a strong denial turns out to be an implicit affirmation.
It all started in social studies, he was trying to go over his notes for the test but the conversations happening at the same time didn't let him pay any attention to what was written in the sheets. There were five different conversations happening at the same time, but they all had the same subject: you.
Apparently, you had a boyfriend who cheated on you with a girl from a rival university? Or some trivial shit like that. Jisung doesn't understand why that matters to anyone but you and the said boyfriend. He doesn't understand why everyone feels like such a painful experience is any of their business. But he guesses it comes with the job.
Everyone knows you, you're the classic cheer captain, who dates — or dated — the infamous quarterback in the football team. People envy you, cherish you, they want to be you and he always thought they loved you, but after hearing so many snarky comments about you in the last 20 minutes, he's actually starting to pity you.
Tumblr media
You wanted to kill him, Seunghoon, that bastard. He destroyed a relationship of a year just to get in someone's pants? Fucking idiot. You hate him so much for cheating on you, but you hate him the most for not showing up kneeling at your door and asking for forgiveness. Who does he think he is? He would never have gotten his position on the football team if it wasn't for you, everyone knows that.
It's an understatement to say you are always the best in everything you put your mind into and if you're not the best by nature, you work hard until you become the best. You are smart, pretty, popularity is your thing, you're used to getting everyone's attention wherever you go. Everyone loves you, or at least they pretend well enough.
So when you started dating this guy, who was a nobody it was pretty shocking for everyone else. You turned him into the most popular guy so he could stay by your side, so you expected a little bit of loyalty from him. Guess that was expecting too much from a horny dog like him.
You did love Seunghoon, you wouldn't have dated him for a year if you didn't. But his character was always questionable, that, you won't deny. There's that saying that love makes you blind but you knew that he's no good and yet stayed with him, that's on you.
You can't stand the pity looks people give you when you walk down the hallway, they could at least pretend they are not talking shit about you behind your back.
To think the semester has only just started, you wish you could take a year off to make sure things die down nicely. But if you do, you'll definitely lose your position as cheer captain, there are too many people willing to get rid of you so they can get your title.
It's best for you to try and get rid of these thoughts, so you hold your head high turning on a corner, decided to pretend everything is okay. That's when you bump into someone, dropping the books you have in your hands and your phone screen down on the floor, gasping immediately, the last thing you need right now is a broken phone.
When you lean over to collect your things, the person who bumped into you does the same, going for the phone at the same time and touching hands with you. A strange wave of electricity makes your whole body shiver by that touch, making you snap your head in the direction of the person.
You know him. He's one of the members of 3racha, a music group everyone loves. Curiously, this is the first time you have seen him outside of a presentation. He's clearly different from the other members, wearing baggy clothes and displaying a hair that's undeniable too long with some questionable choice of colors on it. You can't even really see his eyes, however, he has something about him that makes you refuse to take your eyes off him.
He grabs your book and phone, ignoring your shameless stare. Standing up and handing your things to you.
“Sorry, I can pay for your phone's repair”, he says and for the first time in a minute you can divert your eyes from him, looking at the screen, absolutely shattered and sighing.
“No, it's okay. I was the one who was distracted”, you smile, tucking your hair behind your ear. Why do you feel the sudden urge to flirt with him? He's not even your type. Or at least, that's what you think.
He hums, not really interested, taking a paper out of his bag and writing something on it.
“Here, this is my number if you change your mind”, he gives you the paper, saying goodbye and disappearing somewhere in the hallway.
Tumblr media
When you finally meet Seunghoon, he doesn't even apologize, actually, he doesn't look regretful at all. He has a smug smile, as if what he did is not serious, as if he's better than you now.
You always had a thought in the corner of your mind that maybe he had some kind of inferiority complex when it came to you, but you didn't think he would go as far as to cheat on you just to prove he is better in some way.
“You don't harbor hard feelings, right?” He smirks, chin up. “I know you're much better than me, I'm sure you won't mind what happened and we can still be friends”, he's mocking you, you recognize that tone.
You're grasping the fabric of your skirt under the table, did he really pull you away from your practice to say this? The audacity of this man.
“Of course I don't mind”, you smile kindly, acting as unbothered as you possibly can. This is something you learned in so many years of having eyes on you all the time: pretend. You won't give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry or even get mad. If you are able to pretend you don't care at all about him, that's what you're gonna do.
“I'm glad-”, his smile falters a bit, you are sure he expected you to break. That shows how little he knows about you, you would never make a scene in public.
“Actually, I'm even seeing someone else already”, you blurt out, trying to make him more baffled and it works, he frowns and the look of confusion in his face is priceless.
“Well, that's great for you”, Seunghoon clears his throat, trying to regain his composure. “We should definitely go on a double date sometime”
“Of course, I'd love that”, you nod, standing up. “I'll be going now, but it was great seeing you”, you lie, turning around and walking back to the gymnasium.
When it sinks in what you just did, you want to hit your head against the wall. What the hell was that? Why would you even tell him you're seeing someone when you're not? For fucksake, you're sure he's too proud to let this go, he'll try to find out who it is that you're seeing and when he finds out you lied, you'll be done for, faced with utter humiliation again.
“Why would you tell him you're seeing someone?” Mina asks, looking at you like you are the dumbest person alive, and honestly, you do feel like that at the moment.
“I don't know”, you cry out, “I guess I wanted him to feel miserable”
“And look where that got you”, Miyeon says, worriedly.
“I know, I'm an idiot”, you tell them and your friends nod, making you glare at them. “Well, I guess I'll just have to find a new boyfriend”, you say, dreadfully.
“You know it's not that easy”, Mina says, “you built Seunghoon from the scratch to the guy he is today, it won't have the same effect if you get just anybody that people already see everyday, it has to be shocking”
“Well, I don't know”, you sigh, “is there even someone like that here?”
“I don't know”, Miyeon says, “you need someone charming, someone who people can't take their eyes off”
“It won't be good if he's already known, it should be someone who's usually invisible”, Mina completes.
You sigh, there's only one person you can think of who instantly fits that description.
“What about him?” Miyeon takes you out of your thoughts, pointing to someone behind you. “Isn't he part of 3racha?”
“I mean, he fits what we are looking for”, Mina says.
You turn around, finding the guy you bumped on a few days ago sitting at the table behind you, you're sure you can remember his name if you just try a little harder. He's sitting with Changbin, the other guy from 3racha who is kind of your friend.
“But is there something for you to do there?” Mina looks at him with squinted eyes, trying to see how you could improve him.
“He's cute”, you check him out shamelessly, nodding to yourself.
“I'm not sure if you could make Seunghoon jealous with cuteness”, she shrugs.
“He's not just cute”, you bit your bottom lip, thinking hard. “He could use a different haircut and maybe a new wardrobe but I see a lot of potential in there”
“Well”, Mina sighs in defeat, “let's make a bet them”
“Are you in middle school?” You ask her, rolling your eyes.
“If you can make Seunghoon regret cheating on you, I'll give up on trying for cheer captain next semester”, she ignores your question, stretching her hand for you to shake it.
“As if you were going to win anyway”, you joke.
Of course she could win, Mina is your best friend and also the best dancer you know, she could easily steal your position if you didn't try so hard to keep it, so you do what you have to do, shaking her hand even though you don't have a good feeling about it.
Tumblr media
It's been a few days since you decided to make Jisung your new boyfriend, you just haven't figured out how to approach him. For starters, you can't even find him in this damn university, how the hell can a member from a trio as popular as 3racha just walk around without being noticed? That's a mystery you'll have to solve later.
“Jisung? Why would you want me to set you up with him?” Changbin asks, confused.
“Well, I find him cute”, you shrug, that's not a lie.
“He's not your type, he's totally different from Seunghoon”, he stares at you with a brow raised, sipping from his drink.
“Why would I want someone like Seunghoon? My reputation is almost ruined because of that guy”, you say.
“You got a point”, Changbin sighs, “let me talk to him first”, he can feel something is up but with all the mess happening in his life already, he doesn't have the energy to dig any deeper.
Jisung stares at his friend for about five minutes, no words being said. Why would someone like you want to go out with someone like him?
He's pretty popular because of 3racha, but not near as popular as you or your friend group. Everyone knows he's an awkward guy, when he's on stage his personality changes, he's confident, it feels great, like he could conquer the world, but when he goes back to real life, he just doesn't feel the need to be perceived. Jisung doesn't have a reason to be popular outside of the stage, he's fine with being invisible.
“So, what do you think?” Changbin asks.
“I don't know”, Jisung shrugs.
“Think carefully, it's not everyday that someone like y/n wants to go on a date with an ordinary guy”, the older one insists.
Well, maybe he likes being ordinary. He always thought he wouldn't be like those guys who would do anything for a pretty girl, now it's his chance to prove it.
“You can tell her that I appreciate the thought, but I don't think it's a good idea”, Jisung says, confidently. Even though he wants to punch himself after saying it.
Changbin sighs.
“If you're sure about it”, he shrugs, standing up and walking to the kitchen.
What if he's just letting his prejudice get in the way of meeting someone nice? He sighs to himself, there's nothing he can do about it now.
Well, that's unexpected. Did you go so low as to be rejected by just anybody? How could Jisung not even accept a single date with you? Are you ugly? No, you're sure it's not that. Are you boring? It's not that either, of course. You don't think there's a single thing that would make him turn you down. Maybe you're not his type? No, you're everyone's type.
You won't give up, though. Han Jisung has too much potential for you to just leave him be, you're sure you can make him be even better than Seunghoon ever was. So you march to social studies, you asked Changbin who reluctantly told you that Jisung takes that class.
You enter the classroom earning a few glances, smiling kindly at the people you know and introducing yourself to the ones you don't.
Jisung is seated in the corner, writing something on his notebook, earbuds on. You walk up to him, sitting by his side and waiting for him to notice you, which doesn't take long. He feels a presence too close to him, making him turn to look at you.
He frowns, taking his earbuds slowly, trying to process your present so close to him.
“How can I help you?” He asks and you tilt your head, he's even cuter up close.
“I heard you turned me down”, you say, leaning over the desk to watch him.
“Yeah, sorry”, he shrugs nonchalantly, hurting your pride even more. He should feel at least a bit apologetic, shouldn’t he?
“What do I have to do for you to go out with me?” You push more. You even came here looking for him, you're not going to be discouraged just by a bit of indifference.
“Why do you want to go out with me anyway?” He frowns, it’s not that he doesn’t want to say yes, it’s just that every time that he feels tempted to actually lust over you his pride gets a little more hurt, did you think there was no chance of you being rejected by him?
“Well, I like you. You're cute”, you tell him as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
“You don't even know me”, he scoffs, ignoring the fact that you called him cute.
“That's exactly why I want to go out with you, dummy. So I can get to know you better”, you smile, knowing he won't be able to get out of this situation without telling you why he won't go out with you.
“Well, you’re not my type”, he clears his throat, adjusting himself on his seat and trying to sound convincing, you’re clearly everyone’s type. “And I don’t think we would have much to talk about”
You’re going to fight him on this, argue that you’re a very interesting person that can talk about a lot of things, but the professor enters the classroom, eyeing you and tilting his head in confusion, since you passed this class last semester.
“I’m going to let it go for now”, you stand, “but don’t think you’re getting rid of me”, you huff, walking out of the class. He sure is stubborn, but you’re more.
Jisung feels like he's in those movies with a stalker following him around. You know, when the protagonist is sure that someone is watching them but every time they look around there's no one there? Except that in his case, you're always there. Every place he goes has you in it, glaring at him.
You're not actually glaring at him, even though he thinks you're. You're just shocked that he still hasn't come around to accepting going out with you, so you have to stare at him because you have to understand him. Why is he so different from the other guys? Of course you don't think you're better than anyone, but since news of your break up with Seunghoon broke out, your phone has been blowing up with texts from guys you didn't even know had your number, saying weird things and asking you out. So why is the only person you want to hear from, not giving a shit about you?
You ask Changbin's help but he refuses to meddle anymore than he already has, saying that he knows your intentions are not entirely good so he won't help anymore.
“Did you know we have a class with your new crush?” Mina says while looking at herself in the mirror of the clothes store you're visiting.
“What?” You take your eyes out of your phone to look at her, you have been staring at your screen for thirty minutes, trying to fight the urge to just call Jisung. He gave you his number so you could charge him with the repair of your broken phone but you already had it fixed, maybe you could use that little incident to your advantage.
“We have French with him, you chose Spanish, right?” Miyeon asks, looking around to see if she likes anything.
“Are you for real?” You ask and she looks at you, nodding. “Do you think there are still open spots in your class?” You ask, lost in thoughts.
“You're not going to switch classes just so you can get close to him, right?” Mina turns around to look at you, a brow raised in questioning. “Right?” She presses after you don't answer.
“I kinda prefer French though”, you smirk, standing up. “The school's office is still open now, isn't it?” You ask and both of your friends exchange looks, sighing and shaking their heads, sure that you're a lost cause.
It was not difficult to switch classes, you used up all your charm with the office’s secretary so she wouldn't argue too much about it. You just need a warm smile, some tiramisu and to compliment her nails.
You enter the class smiling victoriously, seeing your friends seated side by side and finding Jisung sitting alone in the back. You waltz over there, putting your things on the desk and sitting by his side.
Jisung takes a deep breath, side eyeing you for a moment.
“Are you serious right now?” He sighs, “you know you can't just keep coming to my classes, right? That's lowkey stalking”, he argues, making you chuckle.
“I don't know what you're talking about”, you shrug, “I'm enrolled in this class”, you tell him, pulling a paper with your schedule printed on it and showing it to him. “This is the only spot available”
He looks around to check, biting his bottom lip, embarrassed. He should have checked before assuming things but that doesn't change the fact that you have been around him too much lately.
“Okay”, he sighs, fidgeting on his seat.
“If I'm really making you uncomfortable I can find somewhere else to sit”, you say, even though you want to make him give in and accept to go out with you, you don't want him to feel genuinely bothered by you.
Jisung on the other hand feel likes he can give in at any moment, the second time he saw you looking at him he wanted to stand up and just go to you, telling you he would accept to go out with you, fuck his pride.
“It's okay”, he clears his throat, “You can sit whatever you want”, he says, making you smirk.
“I mean, are you sure?” You lean in his direction, glancing at his lap.
Jisung chokes immediately, coughing so much he thinks he's going to die, you didn't mean what he thinks you do, right?
Class starts before you can mess with him a little bit more, you didn't think you would have so much fun teasing someone.
Jisung stands up and leaves as soon as the professor says the class ended, he doesn't want to stay close to you for a minute more. He couldn't pay attention to class because your scent kept coming his way. He would glance at you and you wouldn't even be acknowledging him, paying 100% of attention in class. It did make him upset that he didn't seem to cause the same reaction in you as you do to him.
Except that, as stated before, you're very good at pretending. You really wanted to tease him every time you caught him staring at you, you could see everything he was doing with your peripheral vision and you wanted to giggle with every time he pouted while looking at you.
That's proof enough for you that not being his type it's not the reason why he's reluctant to go out with you but you didn't even think about the possibility of him not liking girls at all.
“As far as I know, he does like girls”, Changbin tells you. “I'm not sure about guys though, maybe he does too?”
“Well, that's good then”, you sigh, crossing your arms and nodding to yourself, lost in thoughts.
Changbin stares at you for a moment, with a brow raised. “Binnie, can't you help me out? Just this once” You plead again, giving him puppy eyes.
“Nope, I'm not sure what your intentions are but what I know is that you don't do things without a reason”, he shakes his head.
You sigh, poking the inside of your cheek with your tongue, you know how to convince Changbin but it's the first time in your life that you have to resort to such dirty methods.
“You know, I met someone really nice one of these days”, you tell him, smiling friendly. “She's really cute and she has been helping me in a class we have together”, Changbin glares at you. “I think you know her, but she doesn't seem to like you at all…” You pout, making a show.
“What are you trying to say?” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I'm trying to say that if you help me out, I can do the same”, you shrug, “you have so many virtues, Binnie, I'm confident I can make her see you in a different light”
You can at least try to convince her that Changbin is a good guy even though she's absolutely sure that he's bad news.
“Are you saying I should sell out my best friend so you can help me?” You see Changbin hesitate and that's when you push a little more.
“Come on, it's not like I'll do something awful to him”, you say, “I just want one date”
He sighs, nodding.
“Okay, alright”, he grunts. “I'll help you out just this one time and that's it”
“You're the best!” You say, clapping your hands excitedly.
This is definitely not how you thought the help would happen. The sun is burning your skin and the giggles of people around you are making you stressed. A pool party, why did he think this was going to be a good idea?
Just because you're at the same party as Jisung it doesn't mean you'll get a chance to talk to him or even accomplish your goal but even though the odds are against you, you are still going to try.
The day is too hot, the pool is bustling with people and you're uncomfortable in your bikini. In most days you love your body, you think you're pretty just the way you are but sometimes you have bad days, where you feel like everyone is staring at every single flaw you have.
You came to the party because you couldn't lose the opportunity but you can't see Jisung anywhere and your anxiety is only growing bigger. So as soon as you get the chance to escape, you do it. You wander around the frat house, looking for a place with no one, maybe Changbin's room is empty since he pretty much doesn't live in the house.
You walk up the stairs, swerving in the middle of the crowd who are talking and laughing with drinks in their hands, it's very overwhelming.
The corridor where the rooms are have less people, so you walk until the end to find Changbin's nameplate on the door. You knock twice to make sure there's no one there, the music in the pool is pretty loud so you can't hear if there are voices in the room but you wait a few seconds so people can get dressed if there is someone fucking there. You open the door slowly, finding the room empty. Hurrying inside and closing the door so no one sees you going in.
It's a pretty huge room with things that suit Changbin's personality to a T. There's gym equipment all over the place, a big bed in the middle, a door you can only guess leads to a private bathroom and a TV that you're not sure was ever used. But again, your friend only comes by the house once in a while since he lives in an apartment downtown with Chan and Jisung.
Changbin managed to convince Jisung that it would be a good way to promote 3racha if they threw a party and it didn't take much convincing to the frat president since that guy loves partying.
You sit by the bed, trying to take deep breaths. The burning sensation in your chest is easing a bit with the calm and silence of the room. Silence that is immediately interrupted by the door of the bathroom being opened, just to show a half naked Han Jisung coming out of there with just a towel wrapped around his waist.
You two stare at each other for a minute, both not sure what to do next, both frozen. You manage to stand up, turning your back to him, face burning with embarrassment.
“I'm sorry, I didn't know there was someone already here”, you clarify. “I- I knocked on the door”, you inform him as if that could change anything.
Jisung finds your reaction funny, he didn't take you for the shy type, who gets flustered by seeing a man like this.
“I was showering, I didn't hear the knock”, he says, walking to Changbin's wardrobe to get some clothes he leaves there for eventual emergencies since the frat house is closer than his house to the university.
“Yeah, I guessed that”, you gulp, trying to calm your beating heart. You didn't get to take a good look at him, but the little you did made you quite surprised. Jisung is pretty athletic and hot.
“You can turn around now”, he says. You do it slowly, still embarrassed.
“I'm sorry again”, you sigh.
“It's okay, it can happen”, he shrugs, sitting on the bed. He can't help but look at you too for a moment, you're wearing a deep green bikini that goes perfectly with the tone of your skin. You have a thin transparent shirt that doesn't leave much to the imagination making him bite his bottom lip. If you try to make a move on him again right now, he won't be able to say no.
However, his not very pure thoughts are interrupted by your uneasiness, shifting your weight from a leg to another, hands trying to cover your thighs. Did he look at you for too long? Did he make you uncomfortable? Jisung diverts his gaze from you immediately, he's always proud to say that he's not the same as the other guys who are just horny and nothing more, but look at him now.
“I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable”, he stands up, ready to leave the room, “I'm sorry”
“No, you didn't make me uncomfortable”, you say, taking a step closer to him to stop him from leaving. “I was already feeling not great”, you clarify.
“Did something happen?” He asks, worried.
“No- I-”, you stop yourself from talking more, why do you actually want to talk to him about your problems? You don't even know him. “I'm having a bad day, my self esteem is kinda low so I feel like everyone is staring at every single flaw I have”
Jisung stops for a moment, malfunctioning. His head tilting to the side as he stares at you with furrowed brows.
“Exactly which “flaws” are we talking about?” He asks, making quotes with his fingers.
“I don't know”, you glance down to your feet, feeling embarrassed. “There are so many girls here who are much prettier than me”, you sigh, “oh, I'm not jealous of them, they are great. I'm a huge activist of women hyping up other women”, you add quickly. “Usually I won't let myself compare to other people, but when I'm having one of these days I just can't help to think things like: is my hair pretty enough? Should I go on a diet? Maybe I should hit the gym more often so I can look like that”, you sigh, you sound ridiculous. You are supposed to make him want to go out with you, not scare him with all your insecurities.
Jisung stares at you for a few seconds, realization hitting him. So you're human too, he already knew that, but seeing the pretty and popular y/n come out of the pedestal people built for her, makes him believe that maybe you're very different from what he thought about you.
“I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this”, Jisung clears his throat, trying to not sound like an idiot, “but I think you're pretty and even though you may have some flaws, everyone has. I can assure you yours are not in your looks”
You feel your cheeks growing hotter, that's surprising, a guy never managed to make you blush.
“But you said I'm not your type”, you pout, seizing the opportunity to tease him.
“Well, I had to say something so you would stop coming after me”, he sighs, “clearly it didn't work”
“So, will you go out with me?” You ask, hopeful and he sighs.
“Why do you want to go out with me so badly?”
“I already told you, you're cute. Also, you make me feel at ease”, it's not a lie. Jisung is the first person other than your friends that effortlessly makes you comfortable.
“Fine”, he huffs, “I already gave you my number so just text me”, he tells you and you smile, is this finally happening? Did he finally say yes?
Tumblr media
You planned a whole date in an amusement park, it's cliche for a first date, although you never really went on a date there. You have never done this before for any guy you dated, but there's something about Han Jisung, you just want him to like you.
He's waiting for you in front of the park, looking nervous while scrolling through his phone. You bend down a bit, tilting your head to make him notice you.
“Hey”, you smile waiting for his greeting that doesn't come. Jisung is not easily impressionable but you just leave him speechless every time, he always takes a few seconds to take in your beauty before his brain starts functioning again.
That's the reaction you wanted from him and you are glad you managed to get it. You spent almost four hours getting ready, changed outfits at least ten times and did and redid your makeup over and over. In the end, you chose a natural look. You put on a tight high waisted skirt, a tank top and sneakers since you would be walking a lot. Your hair is down and your make-up is light, so it won't get smudged by hot weather.
“H-hi”, Jisung says, trying to recompose himself, he's not sure if he should comment on how pretty you look or if that would make you uncomfortable.
He can't help but think that it's wrong of him to be there with someone like you, someone totally out of his reach.
“What should we do first?” You ask excitedly, it's been years since the last time you went to an amusement park with your family.
“I think we can walk for a bit and see what catches our attention”, he says and you nod, walking into the park.
There are so many people, Jisung can't help but notice how you're looking around like a child getting to know a new place.
“Do you come often to these kinds of places?” He asks.
“Hm, not really”, you answer, turning around to look at him. “The last time was when I was a child probably”
“Oh?” He frowns. “You seemed excited, I thought your ex boyfriend must have brought you here at least a few times”
“Yeah, well, he was not really the romantic type”, you shrug, a sad smile on your lips.
Jisung doesn't like that, you always look confident and happy, he doesn't want to see you sad again.
“He is an idiot then”, he avoids your gaze, looking around while speaking, “If I had a girlfriend like you, I would move heavens and earth to make her happy”
You feel your heart skip a bit, your cheeks growing warmer and in a few seconds your whole face is burning. You can't believe Han Jisung is making you blush again, saying these words that are messing with your heartbeat.
“Should we go to the haunted house?” You ask awkwardly, trying to change the subject, pointing to the building at the end of the park. You try not looking at him, not sure if your cheeks are still red.
He hums, not really understanding why you look so flustered, he's sure you must hear this kind of thing all the time.
You two enter the house, looking around while walking into the dark. You were very confident in the beginning, you love horror movies, but jump scares are really not your cup of tea and that's the problem. The moment a doll(you assume) holding a knife with a ghost face mask pops out of nowhere you jump… into Jisung's arms. The way his arms immediately wrap around you in a protective position does something to your heart and honestly you feel hot all over.
You didn't even notice the little scares he got, or how he squeezed you every time some scary character showed up. The only thing you noticed was his unexpected strong arms embracing you the whole time until you left the haunted house.
Jisung didn't want to let you go. The moment he felt the cold breeze touching his skin, he knew he had to step back, you are not scared anymore. But he just doesn't want to. You look fragile, shy, endearing. Jisung shakes his head, he shouldn't be thinking this, he thought he would be immune to your charms, but it turns out that he understands now why all those guys fawned over you.
He tries taking a step back, threatening to get away from you but you snuggle closer to him, a hand swinging fast to your shoulder so you could grip his hand in place.
“Can- can you keep holding me for a bit?” You ask awkwardly, not really wanting to look him in the eye.
You had no idea you missed being touched this much, you never noticed how cold Seunghoon’s touch was until you felt Jisung's warm hands on you. You're embarrassed for looking so fragile in front of him but not enough for you to let go, not at that moment.
“Yeah, sure”, he tells you, coming closer again and squeezing you against his chest. “Should we walk around for a bit?”
You nod, too lost in his scent to say anything.
Jisung felt strange for a moment. He's not used to letting his instincts take control, he's a very restrained guy. But he can't help but peek at your thighs when the skirt you're wearing rides up a bit, you're tiptoeing while trying to shoot the target with the water gun you have in your hands, like that would help you win.
“Do you really want that plushie?” He asks when you lose once more. “You could probably buy a better one with the money you're spending”, he points out and you pout.
“Where's the fun in that?” You cross your arms in front of your chest. “It's so much more exciting to win the prize”
Jisung finds you cute, you are just so different from all the rumors and how he thought you would be. Other than being someone who's high and mighty or arrogant, you're cute and funny.
Defeated, he sighs, paying for another round. This time he's the one trying.
It's difficult the first time. He never played this game so he has to get used to and understand how to win.
Jisung doesn't notice but you're not looking at the booth or to the target, you're looking at his face. He looks more handsome when he's focused, he has his lips pressed in a thin line and his grip on the water gun makes you shudder just thinking about how that grip would feel on you.
After a few tries, Jisung wins, asking you to choose what plushie you want.
“That one”, you point to the big quokka hanging in the wall. “It looks a bit like you”, you say when you get the plushie, lifting enough so you can compare it with Jisung.
“I'm cuter”, he pouts.
“Definitely”, you assure him, hugging your new plushie while Jisung’s ears grow hotter.
“Should we go to the ferris wheel?” He asks, looking at the time. It'll probably be your last ride since it's already late.
“Yes!” You jump excitedly, “I never had the chance before”, you say while you two walk in the direction of the big attraction.
“Not even when you were a child?” He asks, remembering you said that was the last time you went to an amusement park.
“My parents are not very fun to be around and my little brother was too young”, you say, shaking your head, “I was never very proficient in doing things by myself so I just didn't go”, you shrug.
Jisung feels that there's more to unpack into that topic, but he's not sure if you want to talk about it with him or right now. So he just slides his arm over your shoulder, surprising you by his bold move. You can feel your cheeks growing hot, are you blushing again?
When you hear the gears turning, excitement spreads all over your body but as soon as the cabin stops in the air, you're not so confident anymore.
“It's quite high, isn't it?” you say, looking down, feeling a little dizzy.
“Are you afraid of heights?” Jisung asks, panicked, seeing your face turning pale.
“No, of course not”, you shake your head frantically while shrinking in your seat, “I can't, I'm always at the top of the pyramid in our cheer stunts”, you tell him.
A sudden wave of air brushes over the cabin, making it shake slightly and you turn even more pale if that's even possible.
“You know it's different right?” He grabs you by the arm, pulling you closer to him. Jisung slides one of his hands on your waist, squeezing you close to him and with the other hand he cups your face, making you look at him. “Keep looking at me, you don't have to look down”
Jisung doesn't know why he feels this urge to protect you, of all the people he knows, you're probably the one he thinks needs the least protection. You keep staring at him, he is pretty, his lips are plump and inviting.
“Are you going to kiss me?” You ask when he licks his lips, huge doe eyes staring at him and waiting.
“Do you want me to?” He asks back, not really sure of what to do. Jisung is not certain, his heart is beating fast and his hands are sweating, you look so beautiful, so close to him.
So when you nod, he just loses control of every part of himself that was holding him back. He's sure after this, there's no going back, he's lost forever, but maybe he doesn't mind if it means it's you he's lost in.
His lips are soft, clumsily pressing against yours. You can tell he's unsure of how to proceed then why does his grip on you make you burn? He's squeezing your waist against his body like you're going to disappear if he doesn't hold you strongly and the hand he has cupping your cheeks, slowly slides to your hair, pulling it lightly, making you whimper.
In an instant his lips are not on yours anymore, he's trailing kisses down to your neck. You shiver, feeling his warm lips against your cold skin.
“Ah, Ji-Jisung”, you gasp when he bites your neck, sucking the area so deliciously it makes you bite your lips so you won't moan.
He hears your plea, kissing you once again and you notice you are the one that didn't know how to proceed. You've been squirming in his hands this whole time without touching him at all. You take a hand to his face, caressing his cheek and the other goes to his hip, pulling you even closer to him but before you can go further, the shake of the cabin going back down takes you out of your haze. You're in public, you had absolutely forgotten about that.
You stop the kiss, giving a peck on his lips before moving away. He looks disheveled, lips swollen and eyes searching for yours in an attempt to know exactly what you are thinking. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Now that he got a taste of something he should have remained oblivious to, he's not sure he'll be able to let go.
The ride home was awkward, to say the least. You are silent the whole time and Jisung is freaking out. He can't help but think he screwed up really badly. How the hell could he make you lose all interest with just a couple of kisses? Did he go too far by giving you a hickey? Maybe you don't like this kind of thing, you're a cheerleader after all, your image is important.
You on the other hand, have too many thoughts running through your mind, never did a man make you feel so desired with just a kiss. The way he embraced you so possessively was too much for you, Seunghoon never did anything like that. You were always the one searching for his touch, for some affection but it was never quite enough. His touches never really gave you what you wanted, you always thought it was weird, you thought maybe there was something wrong with you.
But how could Jisung make you feel so many things with a simple touch? A simple kiss? You're so lost in thoughts that you don't even notice when the car stops.
“We’re here”, Jisung says, not really looking at you.
You look at him, seeing him biting his bottom lip while squeezing the wheel.
“I had fun”, you tell him, shyly. His head snaps at you, a deep scowl on his face.
“You did?” He asks confused and you giggle, tilting your head.
“Yeah”, you bite your bottom lip, leaning over him without breaking eye contact. “I thought I made it clear by almost melting in your arms while you kissed me”, you tease, seeing his ears growing red.
“I thought maybe I did something wrong, you were quiet”, he looks at you waiting for some more reassurance.
“I'm sorry”, you cup his face, caressing his cheek, “it's been a long time since I felt the way you made me feel, I needed time to recover”, you tell him, pulling him in for a brief kiss.
“Wait, but what about-”
“That's what I'm telling you”, you chuckle, bitterly, “can you imagine feeling more in a night than you ever felt in a year with someone else? It really makes a girl think”
“Ah”, he nods, understanding what you're saying now. “Then, can I call you when I get home?” He asks eagerly, now that he knows that you did enjoy your time with him.
“I'd be mad if you didn't”, you give a peck on his lips, getting out of the car and walking to your front door, waving goodbye to him.
Walking into your empty house you come back to reality. For a moment, just a moment, while having fun with Jisung, you forgot how lonely you really are. It's always been like this, you're already used to it.
Your parents always wanted a boy, so it was disappointing for them when they had a girl. They tried for years to have a boy, getting more and more frustrated as time went by. You were five when they finally made it, their desired son was born and you were left aside.
It's not like they gave you any attention before, but after your brother was born, you were completely forgotten. The first time you went to an amusement park was when you were eight. It was your birthday and you begged them to take you there but in the end you couldn't really enjoy anything. Your brother was too little to play in anything and your parents didn't really want to play with you.
You feel a single tear run down your cheek but you shake your head, you shouldn't be doing that right now. You had fun with Jisung but that's that, you don't want another heartbreak the same as with Seunghoon.
You feel your phone buzzing, taking it out of your pocket to see Jisung's name lightening the screen and an involuntary smile grows on your lips, completely ignoring what you just thought.
“Hey, did you arrive safely?” You ask, walking up the stairs.
“Yeah”, he says, not sure why exactly he wanted to call you. He already said goodnight to you, did he want to hear your voice again? Why is he being so weird tonight?
“Okay, that's good”, you chuckle, putting the phone on speaker to start undressing.
Jisung sits in his bed, he knows you're probably tired but he doesn't want to hang up.
“What are you doing?” He asks, hearing the shuffle on the other side of the line.
“I'm changing”, you answer nonchalantly, not knowing how red his whole face turns the moment you finish saying that.
He doesn't say anything, making you look to the phone to check if he's still there.
“Want some pictures?” You ask playfully, making him choke on his own breath, coughing violently.
“No, I mean we- we just had our first date- I- I don't want you to think- it's too soon”, he rambles saying all that in half a second, making you laugh genuinely while you wander around your room.
You snap a picture of yourself, sending it to him and he freezes when he sees the notification. When he opens the text though, you're wearing a cute pajama with bees stamped on it, making him laugh too.
“You're cute”, he says and you stop in your tracks.
“It's been years since someone last called me cute”, you pout, sliding under your covers.
Jisung guessed that much, your type of beauty is not on the cute side. You have sharp features, most people could say you're on the sexy side and he would too, before tonight. Now, under the cover of a popular hot girl, he found a girl who's hot and popular but can be cute and funny too.
“Goodnight, y/n”, he says, throwing himself back in the bed.
“Goodnight”, you say, feeling your eyes heavy after hearing his goodbye.
Part 2
Tumblr media
A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.
844 notes · View notes
goldenroutledge · 10 months
Text
intimidated
Tumblr media
pairing: jj maybank x kook!reader
word count: 5.3k
summary: you’re there for jj when it matters most. (inspired by this post)
warning(s): sprinkles of angst, but fluffy in the end.
a/n: the song i had in mind while writing this was intimidated by kaytranada & h.e.r <3
jj maybank masterlist
© goldenroutledge || do not plagiarize, repost, or translate my work in any way
Tumblr media
JJ Maybank didn’t need handouts. As he told it, his independence was his most valuable asset. It’s what made him a pogue through and through. “Is freedom anything else than the right to live as we wish?”— An Epictetus quote JJ scribbled down, bored as ever in his freshman English class. His life motto condensed into twelve simple words, whether his newfound ‘freedom’ was out of his control or not. Either way, he played the cards he was dealt.
His friends— no, scratch that— his family, were his escape to comfort. A soft, pillowy landing from the nose dive that was his life. A foreign concept to him until he met John B, then Pope, then Kiara, then you. A refuge of safety, ironically enough, given the many times you all had looked death in the face.
Even though the pogues had already started wearing matching friendship bracelets that Kiara made by the time you came along, it was a smooth transition when you were welcomed into the group with open arms. By some more than others at first, given your kook status. But just as they’d embraced Kie, your initiation into the group was no different.
While it took time for JJ in particular to come around, his reservations were understandable. At first, you gave him his space and he gave you yours. Always letting him set the tone and lead the way.
As time went on, JJ soon decided he wouldn’t mind having you around him all the time, there was no going back. JJ loved to the point of no return, and it was incomparable to anything— or how anyone else could ever make you feel.
At times, he felt like that was all he had to offer. Nothing but fierce loyalty and protection over the ones he loves most. But you. To JJ, you were the fine line between hideaway and heaven itself. Even if he thought he may not end up there, he was sure that it would be you he’d meet at heaven’s gates.
Amongst any conflict or tension within the group, you always provided a safe haven for him to retreat to, though he had difficulty admitting it. In a way you had a solution for everything. Keeping tensions low and spirits high in the process. You were the original peacemaker of the group, before his precious gun came along.
Right now, it was almost all he could think about while he sat there, beer in hand, listening to John B and Sarah argue in the distance. How he wishes you were here, to ease his nerves and settle the anxiety simmering in his chest.
JJ hated this. He hated that nobody seemed to get along anymore. With all that was going on with the others, he wouldn’t even think to mention his problems. The looming eviction notice on his house, one of few things he had left on this island. While everyone’s lives continued to progress, JJ’s was at a standstill. No job, no parents, and now his friend group was falling apart at the seams. And with everyone else occupied these days, he was alone.
JJ, selfless as usual, would hate to bother you, no matter how badly he wanted to. He knew you’d have some inspirational shit to say to him. Though he’d poked fun at it sometimes, he’d never needed anything more right now.
The sound of footsteps came before JJ saw them, watching Sarah storm off and away from John B as he stood there, tense and silent.
JJ could be hot headed at times, that was no secret. He could understand his friends' quarrels to an extent. But he couldn’t look past the fact that you all were supposed to be sticking together, especially right now. When he said that nothing good could happen once you all returned to Kildare, he knew he was right. Call it a gut feeling.
-
Naturally, Sarah told you everything. Confidant, mom-friend, advisor— all titles bestowed upon you by your close group of friends over the years. You’d always tried to be as neutral as possible in times of conflict. Though in matters of the heart it was nearly impossible.
Days after her fight with John B, she found herself laying on your bed, venting all of her bottled up frustrations about him and the state of their relationship.
“I’m a mess, Y/n. I feel like such a mess.”
You looked at her sympathetically, knowing there wasn’t much you could do. Just listen, just be there in her time of need.
“So, I took my bag from the Chateau and I left. Kie’s parents told me I couldn’t stay, then I went to JJ’s and he wasn’t home. He’s working at Guffy’s again last I heard.”
You briefly glanced up at the mention of JJ’s name— and it didn’t go unnoticed by Sarah. Instead of divulging about it, she continued her rant.
“Then I was just wandering around, because it’s not like I had anything better to do. And who sees me drinking at Tiki Bar? Topper.”
“Topper?”
“Topper.”
You internally cringed at the mention of the Thornton boy. He was always nice when you saw him, nothing bad nor good to say about him. But you knew deep down he was Sarah’s achilles heel. He reminded her of everything she once had, the person she once was. Lately, you couldn’t help but crave some normalcy too.
“So.. what happened?”
She sighs heavily, dropping her hand across her eyes. “We went to Mase.”
“Alone?”
“We went with some people from KDC. The old crew, Kelce, Phoebe…”
“Is that it?”
“We made out.”
Sarah squeezed her eyes shut in fear of your reaction, knowing it’d probably show on your face before anything.
“Oh.” You swallowed back any judgment you might’ve had, compartmentalizing your love for John B and choosing to hear Sarah out. “And how do you feel about it?”
“Awful. I mean Topper has been so good to me lately with everything going on, he’s always there to pick up the pieces and I just feel bad. It was a mistake.”
“It can’t happen again, y’know. Not if you want to work it out with John B.”
“I do, I wanna work it out with him.” She urged. “And then the next morning we had breakfast. Kie came into the restaurant and saw us together and I think she got the wrong message. She said she’s staying out of it but I can tell what she’s thinking.” Sarah takes a deep inhale, and a deep exhale to follow. “What do I do, Y/n?”
It still baffles you at times that you’ve become the voice of reason. You hope Sarah doesn’t notice that you feel uneasy about the whole thing. “Just… be honest. Don’t let John B find out from anyone other than you. He’s gonna be upset but he has a right to be.”
The blonde sits up, crawls over to you and envelopes you into her arms. “Don’t know what I’d do without you.”
-
Sun reflected brightly off the boats docked at the marina, the two smoothie cups in your hand sweating from the sweltering heat. Your family's boat was kept here at Guffy’s; particularly when your parents weren’t in town to cruise around the island and daydrink with their kook friends.
At least you had an alibi, just in case you happened to run into JJ. The two medium strawberry banana smoothies you carried might need some explanation, though.
Ever since you all had made it back to the island, JJ had been hard to track down. He was rarely in one place for too long. So where else better to catch him than at work?
“Y/n? How are you doing today?” Billy questions from a distance away, putting on his friendliest smile for the daughter of his best clients.
“Can’t complain. Happy to be back.”
“And it’s good to have you back. Everything alright with the boat?”
“Oh yeah, everything’s fine, I just realized I left behind my favorite sunglasses.” You explained, hoping your excuse sounded authentic enough.
“Alright. You take care, now.”
“Actually… I was wondering is JJ around?”
“Maybank? He was here a few days ago.”
“Hm, I could’ve sworn he was working today.”
Billy sighs, eyebrows furrowing. “Listen, Ms. Y/l/n, I know you want to advocate for your boyfriend and all but JJ can’t work here.”
Confusion spread through your features this time as you genuinely had no idea what the man was getting at. You chose to not correct him when he’d mistaken you for JJ’s girlfriend.
“Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good kid. I know he wants the job back but Guffy put a pin in it. I’m sorry. Really not much I can do.”
You forced a polite smile on your face as the dots connected, remembering the melting smoothie you held in your left hand while your half-finished one remained in your right. The two of you exchanged brief goodbyes before you quickly left the marina.
If JJ really hadn’t been working at Guffy’s again, where the hell was he? His act of disappearing was unmatched, but so was your skill of guessing.
If a game of hide-n-seek is what he wanted, a game of hide-n-seek is what he will get.
-
Grass brushed against your ankles as you approached JJ’s home, your steps careful as you looked around for him.
Going to JJ’s home was forbidden. When Luke was around, that is. He was a phantom— an ugly, dark presence looming over the quaint home that would otherwise feel serene. The chirping birds in the trees couldn’t tell the difference.
You haven't been here many times. The times you had been here weren’t anything you nor JJ wanted to remember. The feeling of uncertainty creeped into your mind from your past visits. You never knew what to expect.
To your left, there was a beautiful, never-ending view of the water past the grass of the Maybank’s yard. You hadn’t noticed that before. This spot had probably seen some beautiful sunsets. In a moment of imagination, you almost pictured sitting there with JJ on the plush green, hand in hand, watching the warm hues of the sky melt into a dark night.
The caution tape wrapping around the wood of the house caught your interest as you made your way onto the porch, also noticing the eviction letter left on the door, moving closer for a better look.
“Y/n?”
JJ called out, appearing from around the corner of his home, startling you out of concentration as you re-read the notice again and again.
As if you didn’t come over to finally see him in the first place. Though you couldn’t speak— for once unsure of what to say. ‘Sorry you’re getting evicted?’, it just didn’t sound right. Then again it might’ve been better than standing frozen and staring at him, silently, like you were doing.
“What are you doing here?”
“I- um…. I brought you a smoothie.”
You held out the cup, approaching him and handing it to him. He stood there dumbfounded, eyebrows furrowed. His lips eventually pursed into a smile as a way to say thank you. This wasn’t the relaxed JJ you were accustomed to; nonetheless he was still the JJ you loved.
“Why are you here?”
“I told you. The smoothie.”
“You came all the way out here from your mansion on Figure 8 to bring me a smoothie?”
“What?” You scoffed, his tone dictating where the conversation was headed. Most likely nowhere.
“Go back to reading by your pool or something. You shouldn’t be here.”
“I haven’t heard from you in days, JJ. I’m just checking up on you.”
“So what? You touring around the Cut now? Delivering smoothies to lost pogues? Is Heyward’s your next stop?”
He resumed tinkering with his bike, and from the looks of it he was working rather aggressively— desperate to distract himself from the conversation at hand.
“I miss my best friend. Am I not allowed to miss you anymore? I mean it’s not like we were stranded on an island together… not knowing whether we would live or die!”
“Well, we’re not exactly a big happy family right now. You should know that.”
“Yeah. John B and Sarah are on some kind of break. But that doesn’t mean I can’t see you, that doesn’t have anything to do with us. I thought we were past the whole picking sides thing.”
“I’ve been busy.” JJ shrugs.
“Busy working? At the job you lied about having?”
His eyes snapped to yours immediately. Your heart clenched as soon as the words left your mouth, you didn’t mean to go too far. But at least you had his attention.
“What, are you stalking me now? Or did you hire a P.I. to figure that out?”
“Hilarious, JJ. I was at the marina earlier to grab something off my boat. Actually hoping I would run into you but, whatever.”
“Yeah. Whatever.”
A few moments of awkward silence lingered between the two of you, as you kicked a pebble around with your foot.
“I know you don’t owe me anything… but you could’ve just told me.”
He paused his movements, thinking about how he was going to respond.
“Tell you what? That I prefer mixed berry over strawberry banana?” He jested, smiling to himself.
“I’m not talking about the smoothie, idiot.”
His eyes drifted over to his home, knowing exactly what you were thinking, just afraid to acknowledge it.
“My problems aren’t your problems, Y/n.”
“And I know that. I just wanna help you, however you’ll let me.”
“Well, you can help me by not helping me. I’ll figure it out. Always do.”
“All I’m saying is you don’t have to figure it out alone. I’m here.”
At that, he dropped his tools, running tense hands through his hair. “But you aren’t here! You don’t have to live like this and you should be glad that you don’t!”
He raised his voice at you, frustrated. JJ was never good at putting his feelings into words, especially when it came to actually expressing them.
He didn’t know how he could tell you about everything. The worst day he’s ever had, the lowest he’s ever been. He couldn’t see a way in which he could tell you all of it and carry on the same. You were always a constant in his life. He needed it to stay that way, by any means necessary.
“That doesn’t make sense, JJ. What’s the point of having anything nice if I can’t share it with the people I love?”
The both of you were taken aback at what your explanation implied. In actuality, it took all of your power not to say those three words to him outright. But you couldn’t, not like this.
“You don’t have to pretend to care that much. I’m sure you can find another community service project to focus on.”
“Community service?” You chuckled emptily, baffled at his ridiculousness, though deep down you knew this was how he dealt with things. He simply didn’t know anything other than defensiveness. “That’s what you think this is?”
JJ closed his eyes in exasperation, wishing this conversation away. He could hear it in your voice, your feelings were hurt. Maybe not as bad as when your 8th grade crush asked someone else to the Valentine’s dance— but even a little was too much.
“If you’re gonna reduce our decade of friendship to me doing charity work, I guess there’s no changing your mind. I’m just wasting my breath.”
The words were stuck in his throat. He wanted to apologize instantly, but now he wasn’t sure if his apologies were something you’d wanna hear at the moment. He wasn’t sure if you’d believe him.
For all the disingenuous apologies he’d accepted over the years, he’d hate to put you on the receiving end of one. Even if his heart truly was in the right place, JJ couldn’t muster up the courage to show it.
“You don’t have to antagonize me. Because everything you’re blaming me for, it isn’t my fault. Just like this isn’t your fault either.” You gestured to the eviction notice at his door.
“Yeah.” He mumbled. “You’re right.”
“Say what you want about me, but I just wanna know that you’re okay. And if it’s an apology you’re looking for, you’re not gonna get it. I’ll never apologize for that.”
He nodded, unsure of what else to say. All he could do was try to understand.
Realizing he had no further comments, you turned your back to leave.
“Will I see you at the Chateau tomorrow?” You asked over your shoulder, hope remaining in your voice despite the uneasiness that remained between you two.
“Don’t count on it.”
“Alright, well… bye.”
JJ waves, before muttering a monotone ‘thanks for the smoothie’ as he watches you go.
-
Since returning to the island, it was an unspoken thing that you all were to meet up at the Chateau at some point. And with all the new developments in your lives lately, these meetings were much needed.
Pope handed you a beer as he came into John B’s living room, opening one of his own as he sat down beside you.
John B and Sarah seemed to be laying low, but it was clear they were back together or had come to some sort of resolution.
Kiara was going on about how much shit her parents had been giving her lately. They’d been hovering— watching over their daughter’s every move from the moment she set foot on the island again.
Pope told the group about how Cleo had won over Heywar in record time, much faster than John B or JJ. Pope’s parents simply wanted the best for him, and knew that the danger and mischief his friends came with couldn’t be productive.
“We’ve been best friends for what…? 13 years?” John B recalls. “And your dad can hardly stand the sight of me but Cleo won him over in a few minutes? How?”
“Are you surprised?”
“Not at all.” John B holds his hands up in surrender to Cleo, Pope smirking beside her as he witnesses the interaction. “Just confused.”
“I have many superpowers, John.”
“Apparently! Winning over Heyward is like, unheard of in this group. At least for JJ and me.” John B explains, sipping his beer.
“Speaking of, where’s he at?”
At the shift in conversation, you can feel several pairs of eyes fall upon you. All you can do is act as normal as possible, tipping off any of your friends always ends badly in the case of keeping a secret. Until the cat’s out of the bag, your friends will make it their personal mission to reveal whatever it is you’re hiding.
You raised your eyebrows, pretending to only catch onto their stares moments later. “Why’re you looking at me?”
“No reason. It’s not like you guys are secretly together or anything.” Pope mutters under his breath, catching a glare from you at his false claim.
“We’re not. I wouldn’t know where he is.”
John B hisses, pretending to shiver. “Is it a little chilly in here? Or is that just Y/n’s cold shoulder?”
You roll your eyes, further proving his point until Sarah chimes in, pondering if she should speak up about what she knows.
“I actually stopped by JJ’s the other day. He.. wasn’t home.”
“Oh yeah, didn’t he go fishing? Probably not back yet.” John B remembers.
“I don’t think he’ll be going home anytime soon.”
At this your eyes meet Sarah’s hazel ones, full of hesitation. You shoot her a look of ‘whatever you’re about to say, don’t’, and you hope she is wise enough to pick up on it.
“Why is that?” Kiara questions, confused.
“He got evicted.” Sarah blurts, regret spreading through her expression as she sees you react; you don’t react. And that slightly terrifies her.
“Really?” Pope asks in disbelief, though not too surprised. More so disappointed that his best friend had to endure this, silently at that.
“Yeah. When was the last time anyone’s heard from him?”
The group silently recollects for a few moments, Kie pulls out her phone to review her latest texts with the man in question.
Instead, you’re wondering how the hell Sarah even knew about this to begin with. How long could she know about this and just stay silent? Forget not telling the group, how long could she keep this from you? How could she not help her friend who was clearly in need of support?
“How long have you known?”
Sarah appears confused, wondering where your line of questioning is coming from.
“I- uh. After John B and I fought I went there, remember Y/n? I was hoping I could stay but he wasn’t home. That’s when I saw the eviction notice.”
“And you waited, I don’t know, a week to bring that up?”
“Y/n, it’s not like I intentionally kept this from you, okay? We know how protective you are over JJ.”
Her words strike a cord within you, already on edge regarding JJ Maybank because of your argument with him the day prior. It was still a sore subject, even more so made by having no one to confide in about it.
“It’s not about that, Sarah. You didn’t even have to tell anyone at all but you didn’t think to maybe find out if he’s okay? At the very least?”
“I was a bit homeless at the time, Y/n, sorry about that.”
“Oh, right. You were too busy hooking up with Topper to care about the well-being of our best friend? Good to know the bare minimum is impossible for you.”
Sarah scoffs, John B shakes his head in exasperation. Kiara stays silent mostly, being no stranger to your and Sarah’s sister-like fights. She couldn’t even disagree with you, though with her parents keeping her on lockdown it was hard to do anything about it. She wasn’t in a place to have an opinion.
Pope and Cleo shared looks, communicating wordlessly as they had grown to do. Being away at Heyward’s kept them out of the loop quite a bit.
“JJ will figure it out, Y/n. Relax.” John B reassured. Though he was defending his girlfriend, now that they were in a ‘good place’ again, you felt anything but reassured at his carelessness around the subject. You’d think of all of you, John B would understand the most.
“Relax? Why should I relax if JJ is in trouble? If anything, you’re too relaxed!”
“I’m sorry you feel that way but you don’t have to take it out on Sarah, this isn’t even her fault! Not all of us want to fight your battles.”
“If you had any sense left you’d realize this isn’t about me. This is about our friend, who I thought we all cared about. At least enough to share this kind of news. We’re talking about his well-being here, I mean he’s losing the house he grew up in and nobody seems to care about that?”
“If he wanted us to know, he’d tell us.”
“Like he’s ever going to do that! You know better than anyway that he won’t!”
“It’s not my problem.”
“Mhm. It’s a shame JJ’s busy solving all of yours.”
“Y/n, please. Can we just have a chill night?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be his ‘best friend since the third grade?’ Because you don’t fucking act like it.” You huffed, standing up to get rid of your beer can. At this point you were rambling to yourself, more than okay with the group hearing what you really thought about them and their carelessness for the situation.
“Indeed. Which is why I don’t need to force him to tell me shit, okay?”
“Why are you such an asshole, John B?”
“Y/n, I just found my dad. So, excuse me if JJ’s living situation isn’t at the forefront of my mind.”
“I never said it had to be, but you’re acting like you don’t even care!”
“I do care! We all do!” John B shouts. “And maybe if you’d let up on him he’d actually come to you about this stuff!”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m saying, maybe JJ would give you the love you so desperately crave if you weren’t fucking suffocating him.”
“John B!” Kiara warns.
Sarah held her face in her hands, knowing John B had crossed the line. Maybe he had one too many beers in his system. Either way, hell was about to break loose. And when it came to JJ, hell hath no fury like you did.
Your head felt like it was about to explode. How could your friends seem to be so comfortable with this? The same friends that claimed to leave no pogue behind, to never turn their back on one of their own.
If that was true, then what was this? From the looks of it, nobody even pretended to give a damn.
“You’re fucking terrible, John B. This isn’t even about me at all! You just can’t stop deflecting from what a shitty friend you are. I mean, JJ would die for literally every last one of you guys. And he almost did! On multiple occasions! But instead you’re gonna neglect the one person who's seen you through all your bullshit and as soon as it’s over you’re gonna pretend like nothing happened? Like the Earth is back on its axis? The world doesn’t fucking revolve around you, John B. That’s just not- that’s not something you do to someone you love.”
There wasn’t a need to announce your departure, as it was so quiet inside that you could hear your own breathing.
As hard as it was to fight with John B like that, you couldn’t deny the weight that had been lifted off your chest. Your spirit was lighter. It was therapeutic, really. So therapeutic you felt peaceful enough to go home and take the longest nap ever recorded, maybe in John B’s own hammock just to prove a point.
Entranced in your own thoughts, you didn’t even register JJ resting in the hammock himself, hands intertwined behind his head. Not asleep, but wondering what your next words will be. The walls of the Chateau were thin enough, echoes of your voices amplified by the open windows.
He wasn’t sure if you simply didn’t notice his presence or if you were flat out ignoring him, walking past like he was invisible. Testing the waters, he called out from behind you.
“I never really thanked you for the smoothie.”
You froze in your tracks, face heating up and muscles tensing at the thought of the argument he probably just heard and decided not to barge in on.
“It’s alright. Wasn’t looking for praise.”
JJ met you halfway, taking note of your tired eyes and your feet dragging against the grass.
“So, what? You’re picking fights for me now?”
“You heard?”
“I think Ward Cameron heard. All the way from Guadalupe.”
“Stop it.” You warned, cracking a smile for a split second. JJ was good at that. Making you smile no matter the circumstances. “I stand up against injustice. That’s all.”
“Then are you still mad at me?”
“About what?”
“Yesterday. The whole… note on door situation.”
“Could never be mad at you, JJ. Especially not about that.”
He softly smiles, one that you return. It’s been a long time since you’d shared a small moment like this. Too long.
He gestures for you to come closer and slide into his arms as he’d held them out for you, just like you belong there.
“I am sorry, though.” JJ mumbles the words softly, almost into the crook of your neck as if he was speaking to you and you only. “I know you’re just trying to stick around for me.”
“Yeah. Just trying to be wherever you are.”
“You don’t have to fight for me, y’know.” I’m already here. Though you may not have caught on instantly, nothing he’s ever said has made as much sense.
“Sorry, J. Sometimes I just feel like we don’t deserve you. Like I don’t deserve you.” You admitted sheepishly.
JJ scoffs, and you’re not sure why. He’s often sarcastic, but it’s hard to tell what he’s really thinking in these situations.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Y/n?”
Your eyes meet his, hesitation behind them.
“You’re the one who doesn’t deserve me? Is that a joke?”
You looked at him as if it were obvious, like the line had already been drawn in the sand. This fact had already been decided; there was no going back, not now, and not ever.
“I know I’m not the smartest person, okay, but you’re making no sense.”
“Come again?” You asked, equally as confused as he was. It was incredulous for anyone to believe JJ of all people wasn’t worth it— as if he wasn’t worth someone who would go to the ends of the Earth for him, someone who would defend him six ways to Sunday. There was no one in your life more deserving of such a thing.
“Listen, Y/n...”
“No! You listen. Nobody should treat you like that. Especially our friends! As if their problems are bigger than yours or something. It’s just fucked up for any one of them to act like they don’t care because I know deep down, they do. They care just like I do but they just suck at showing it. Mostly John B. He sucks the most. And I’m not exempt either, I mean I should’ve checked on you sooner-”
“Shoulda, woulda, coulda.” JJ interrupted, placing his hands on your shoulders. “Y/n, it’s okay. I don’t need anything.”
“I know that. I just want to love you. Because I really do. I really love you, JJ. Like bad. So bad that it’s probably sad at this point but I really don’t care anymore! Not about what John B has to say, not about anything, because I’ll never regret it. I’ll never wish that I didn’t love you.”
That stupid weight again, feeling as if it’s taking off like a rocketship and leaving your conscience for good. It makes you want to scream the words from the rooftops. Over and over and over again.
Confessing feels good, but kissing JJ feels damn euphoric. His lips are on yours before you can even register what’s happening, too busy being self-aware to realize the way his eyes turned glossy, or the way he’s gently got one hand on your waist and one hand caressing your cheek.
“He’s got it all wrong. I love you, too.” JJ confesses after pulling away from you, briefly taking his eyes off yours to glance at the Chateau. His head shakes as he says it, that starry glint in his eyes so undeniably present. “So bad.”
He earns a giggle out of you as he mocked your words to him just a few moments ago. But now, things were changing. He couldn’t stand before you and pretend he didn’t feel the way he did. Not anymore, not ever again.
Not after you’d shown your love for him so confidently to everybody, time and time again. JJ Maybank wasn’t sure about many things in life, but you weren’t one of them. This was surely the best decision he’d made in years.
“Come over.” You whine between kisses, breaking him out of his trance. If you let him, he’d kiss you forever, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
JJ raises his eyebrows, smirking.
“For dinner. We’re having sloppy joes.”
JJ, unresisting temptation, leans in again and moans against your lips dramatically. “What about dessert?”
You give his hair a tug and kiss the smirk off his face, whispering to him a secret.
“And maybe dessert.”
Tumblr media
taglist: @ilovejjmaybank @missevi @nxsmss @cameronsrafe @msgorillagripcoochie @bibliophilewednesday @tovvaa @rudybarnes @annab-nana @reawritesthings @moniamaybank @outerbankspreferences @laneylaneylaney @jjpouggues @pogueslandia @mildkleptomaniac @whcclxr @mrs-cameron @it-was-never-meant-to-be-boys @alanniys @amourology @luversgirl + jj maybank taglist: @destourtereaux
2K notes · View notes
zg0nuwa · 10 months
Note
Hey, hope you're fine...and i see that you're another fan for Miguel (we are) can you write the father day with his daughter and the reader as his wife please:(?....(i just hate my daddy issues)
★ best dad ever ! ⎯⎯
Tumblr media
i don't think you understand how much power you just gave me with this (i had like half of this written already but tumblr crashed and i was one step away from going into my joker era)
miguel o'hara x wife!reader
warnings ; angsty fluff, i tried experimenting with the spanish but i feel like i failed miserably, lowercase intended, i'm not a spanish speaker so you're free to correct me on the spanish.
Tumblr media
miguels work schedule was very unstable. there were times when he would be gone for the whole day and then there were times when he could spend most of the day at home. you understood, for the most part, he had the multiverse on his shoulders no matter how hard you wished for him to have a much less dangerous job. of course not everyone knew why he sometimes had to disappear for long periods of time.
and one of them was your daughter. all she knew was that " daddy does very important things and he has to go but he will always come back ".
this year, fathers day rolled up on a sunday which meant not only your daughter was home but also you. for your husband it was a little more complicated. he woke up in the middle of the night to a notification from lyla about another anomaly going nuts in the wrong universe. you loved the ai but in this particular moment you wanted to explode her with your mind.
" i'll be back before sunset, i promise " with that and a kiss on your forehead he left through the portal in your bedroom.
the next time you woke up that day was because of your daughter. she climbed onto your bed and started to shake you lightly with her small hands.
" mom? where’s daddy? " you opened your eyes to gabi hovering above you with her favorite plush animal pressed close to her chest. she had this disappointed expression on her small face. you knew it was because of miguel being gone. she planned this whole day for him, you even helped her organize everything.
" i’m sorry sweetheart… daddy had to go to work. " you pulled her in so her head was under your chin. she clung to you like a small koala bear as you played with her thick brown hair. definitely his genes.
" but, he promised he'll be back before your bedtime sooo, we can still make something special. what do you say about that? "
after a small argument about who gets the cooking part of preparations, which obviously ended with you being responsible for it, you and gabi got to work. as you were looking through your old mexican cuisine recipe book [ that you definitely didn’t bought only for miguel to feel more at home during meals ] you saw your dughter holding a box of artsy stuff.
" cariño, ¿qué estás haciendo allí? "
" making daddy a poster! it's going to say 'el mejor papa de todos'! " you couldn't help the big smile from appearing on your face. you knew how much time miguel put into teaching gabi spanish and it always warmed your heart when they sat down at the dining table and simply talked in spanish, your husband making little corrections in pronounciation or grammar from time to time. but no matter what he always looked as if he had hearts in his eyes.
you knew miguels work schedule was unstable and sometimes took him out of the house for a whole day, and you understood. but gabi not so much. so here you are, 10:48 pm on the clock and no sign of your husband. you spent the past two hours comforting her and promising her that it wasn't miguels fault and that he loved her. finally at around 11 pm she fell asleep in her bed. you turned off the cat shaped nightlamp and as quietly as possible closed the door to her room.
with a heavy sigh you went back to the kitchen to start cleaning everything up. while puting away food into the fridge you heard a specific glitching sound and you already knew who showed up home.
" you're late. " you weren't really mad at him , it was just tiring sometimes.
" i know, i'm sorry love... it's just - things got a little out of control. " you didn’t look at him and his first thought was to come behind you and hug your waist hoping it would make you feel even a little bit better. “ was there something that i forgot about today? is that why you’re angry? “
" i’m not angry, but your daughter is. she planned the whole fathers day for you. "
" ay, coño… " he sounded defeated, tired, and disappointed in himself. you pulled yourself away from him and came up to the poster gabi made, its was rolled in a tube to not spoil anything before the big reveal. you handed it to miguel with a tiny smile on your face. he was a bit confused for a second but he got the memo and rolled out the paper to it’s full extent. you could see the tears forming on his waterline as he chuckled. probably because of the spelling mistake made by gabi that you didn’t have the heart to point out.
" me and gabi made a deal for you, you have take us to the zoo tomorrow, and she demands that you let her piggyback the entire time to repay for your sins. "
" i guess there’s no other option. " he said with a smile.
Tumblr media
cariño, ¿qué estás haciendo allí? - honey, what are you doing there?
el mejor papa de todos - the greatest dad ever
ay, coño - oh, fuck
1K notes · View notes
arcanumofthestars · 2 months
Note
sorry if its weird- I just got out of a toxic relationship and have been absolutely LIVING! for the Hazbin and Helluva boss boys being sweet! Could you maybe do something like ideal dates they would do with a reader? Anything really- just in the genre of like 'cute little scenarios you'd make up before falling asleep'
ps loved your alastor headcannon <3
Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss boys' ideal dates (part 1)
Sum: Where they would prefer to spend their time with you as a date.
Characters included: Alastor, Lucifer, Angel Dust, Blitzø, Stolas, Moxie
Warnings: none, it's just fluff, except for like, three curse words and Angel Dust's job (I've put a note on where that part starts). Reader is gender neutral, if I have missed a pronoun here or there please let me know.
Alastor
Alastor lived in the 1930s. That’s all that needs to be said. A really classy dinner in the most expensive restaurant there is, with low lights and candles. And live music. Oh, the live music. Hell might be a filthy place, but the songs are… well… heavenly. You chat and laugh and eat with the soft sound of the sax playing in the background, the Imp on the stage singing “Somewhere over the rainbow” in a sensual voice. Once you finish eating, Alastor gets up and goes over to the stage. He says something to the musicians and they start playing a quicker rhythm, which you quickly recognize to be one of the most popular dances in the 30’s, called the jive. And you’re not surprised when your date offers you his hand and guides you to the dancing floor.
After a long night, you two go for a walk outside, chatting mainly about the Hotel. You tell him that you believe in redemption, and he finds it foolish, yet adorable. After that, the conversation gets deeper. You talk about secret hopes and regrets, about your lives on earth, what you would have done differently. It’s the first time Alastor is being this open with someone, and you know it. Your date ends with him walking you back to your hotel room and kissing your hand gently, before he wishes goodnight and walks away with one of his few real smiles.
Lucifer
Lucifer gets easily bored- no, tired with all the “King of Hell” bullshit. After all, he’s just a father whose wife recently dumped him. And at first it was really hard for you two to get close, him being afraid you would leave him like everyone else did. You’re not that kind of person, and he knows that now. Still, going out can sometimes be too much for him. All the Sinners and Hellborn running the moment they see him, it makes him feel more lonely, even with you by his side.
So he prefers to stay at home. You two make something to eat, like pancakes (they’re his favorite, trust me). As you eat, you start talking about anything and everything- except ducks, that’s a sensitive subject. The conversation will most likely end with Lucifer showing you some old album with photos of him playing with Charlie when she was a child. After you finish eating, you cuddle on the couch, watching TV. He ends up falling asleep in your arms (you’re the big spoon and I’m not negotiating over that), your fingers caressing his blonde hair.
Angel Dust
Before you proceed, I would like to note that this work includes mentions of Angel Dust’s job. If this kind of content is triggering for you, I would suggest reading only the second paragraph.
Angel’s job is a great part of his life. He might hate it because of Valentino but it is what he does best. So of course he wants to show you his talent- pole dancing. The best place to do that is a famous club near the Hotel (one that Valentino doesn’t go to often.) The owner is more than happy to have the famous Angel Dust dancing exclusively in their business, even if it is only for one night. The show starts, and Angel dedicates the night to you, making all the sinners turn around to see the one that stole the pornstar’s heart. The Spider Demon doesn’t fail to make you blush repeatedly during the show, teasing you openly, in a way you haven’t seen before, not even in his movies.
After the performance ends, you’re too shy to even talk to him, a situation that ends with huge amounts of laughing from both of you. After that you go for a walk outside, and probably have some takeout, because, well, Charlie decided that four times a week the Hotel will be serving boiled vegetables for dinner, “so everyone can stay healthy”, and it isn’t exactly the ideal food for a day. You two end up dancing in the music of some other club in the city, hidden from all eyes. Angel is amazed with the fact that you can enjoy something as simple as that. When you finally head back to the hotel, he replays the sweet moments over and over again in his head and that’s maybe one of the first times he’s blushed from something like that.
Stolas
When I say Stolas has money, I mean you couldn't spend one milionth of it in this lifetime, even if you wanted. He's used to paying for everything, so he really doesn't mind you choosing where you want to go- even if it is the most expensive place in Hell. He has a small panick attack on what he should wear, poor thing hasn't been to a date since, well, forever. He is extremely nervous when he comes to pick you up, but quickly relaxes when you start a conversation. The place is absolutely adorable after all you chose it, and the food is really delicious. Well, I don't have to say much, it's your typical ideal date.
After you two finish eating, you go to the Owl Demon's house (or castle I don't think something that huge is a house). You stand at the balcony for a long time, gazing at the stars, occasionally making a comment on astronomy (after you found out about Stolas' obsession with celestial objects you made your own research). The moments are truly blissful, and when he takes your hand and guides you inside, it's the most sweet thing you have ever seen- he doesn't want anything but you close to him, to feel you scent as he wraps his hands around your waist, burying his face in your neck, trying to get as much of you as possible. Not in a naughty sort of way. Just you, him, and the stars.
Blitzø
Blitz simply doesn't have the time. Don't mistake me, he loves you, but his job is taking up most his days and even with Moxie and Millie's help, he barely manages. He always finds a way to be with you if not daily, three or four times a week. Sometimes you just visit the I.M.P. "facility" and tidy up a bit while he's away, maybe make lunch for everyone and hang out with Loona, who surprisingly thinks you're a very cool person. Sometimes you join him in his little "adventures" in the human world, after all it's a great workout and you have to keep fit.
If Blitz actually finds some time to spend with you exclusively, it will either be eating snacks, cuddling on the couch with him complaining about work. Or. The most extreme fucking thing you ever imagined, like, extreme sports or something. The Imp loves the adrenaline in his veins, and you do too, once you get used to it. After all you'd do anything to spend time with the man you fell in love with. You're a bit dazed afterwards but for some reason he loves seeing you tripping around.
Moxie
Moxie is what you'd call a lovebird. The stereotype one. He buys you flowers and escorts you to the car, putting a rose in your hair or something like that. His suit is literally perfect and you wonder how many times he must have ironed it before he came to your place. Moxie is nervous. Really really nervous. He wants everything to be perfect, but once you reassure him, telling him that everything will be perfect just because you two are together he finally gets to relax. As he drives you there, you constantly ask where you're going (he only told you to dress classy and he's not disappointed with the results), but he doesn't tell you anything. "It's a surprise, you'll like it, I promise". The place is absolutely gorgeous but you can't help but wonder how much it cost... But Moxie's got you covered.
It's the ideal date. And gosh you have so much to talk about. When it ends (the Imp implies every four seconds that there will be more), the moment finds you standing in front of your house door, starting into each others eyes. Because in Hell, you found a soulmate.
That's all for now! I'm sorry that it's too short, I didn't have more time with my upcoming exams. I promise there will be a lot more though! I'm already working on a part two.
The characters that will be included are: Husker, Vox, Valentino, Adam, Sir Pentious, Fizzarolli, Striker.
If you want me to add any more, feel free to ask.
My requests are closed at the moment, regarding anything else. I will open them again around mid or end of March, though it's not sure yet.
Thanks for reading!
-Selena
280 notes · View notes
meidnightrain · 21 days
Text
AN UNFAVOURABLE OUTCOME❞ - aventurine
summary: sometimes a gambler takes risks to win, but this was one that he wasn't brave enough to take
warnings: reader is gn, reader and aventurine are rivals, angst, hurt/no comfort
notes: first entry for ten days writing for aventurine while i wait for his banner. i tried writing like 😭
taglist(open): @akutasoda , @yvnaology , @tragedy-of-commons , @ryuryuryuyurboat , @staarri
Tumblr media
you never understood the sigonian with the pretty eyes and a voice as smooth as honey, parading around like he owned everything in his sight; it was just that AVENTURINE hadn’t bought it yet. even worse was that he was a rank higher than you at the ipc, which would mean that you’d be subjected to being used without even getting a say. it was just one rank, but it felt like more; he was at the top of the tower while you were still at the bottom of the stairs. 
his eyes always lingered on you for reasons you could never decode; it would always be a mystery to you. but your immense dislike and hatred for him were not subtle. in fact, you personally ensured to display your disgust in his presence in hopes of ticking him off, but it never worked. that would only make you hate him more. 
it wasn’t until you got paired together with this mission that something in him snapped; it was uncharacteristic of his sultry character. from a peacock fluffing his feathers to one of squawking rage. it triggered him to see you with someone else in the dim lighting of the casino. the atmosphere is slow, a lavender haze of colours and shadows, but all he could see is you. and he knows that it’s just for show, but it wounds him so. you were only doing this to garner intelligence for your mission, but he hated it. he hated the way that you smiled at that stranger because he wished that it was him.
he couldn’t stop himself; his hand reached instinctively to grab the stranger’s hand from caressing your face for a mere split second. you’re shocked; he practically appeared out of nowhere. last you saw him, he was busy gambling his way to the top of this casino, which had never seen the likes of him before. 
“i think the lovely agent here could do without your company.” he smiled through clenched teeth, his sunglasses not doing a good job of masking his emotions in his glare. the man huffed, retracting his hand from the his and walking away with annoyance. AVENTURINE could feel it, anger practically steaming out of your ears because he ruined a perfectly good target.
he sighed, smirking as he removed his glasses. "you are as cocky as always if you think that just sweet-taking will help you get the information you need."
“i try my best.” you shot him a grin that didn’t quite reflect the expression on your eyes; there’s vitriol in your tone that splashes on him like acid. did it matter if your touch burned him? surely it couldn’t be any more painful than the marks they’d left on his body like that burn on his neck, forever proclaiming to the world his status as a slave worth no more than a handful of copper coins. and it was worth the pain if this was the closest thing to love he’d get.
“cocky isn't good.” his tone was serious and slightly harsh, unlike the cool persona he displayed at the table. he met your leer with a level-headed stare, observing you blankly and ensuring that it did not betray his heart. 
“it gets you in trouble, and right where you don't want to be.” he said, and his tone softened a little just for you, but you’d never notice it. you were always too blind to see the way he acted around you because you were blinded by hate.
“but it makes you take risks that you won’t ever take if you lack the balls to do so.” you retorted. you never knew when to back down; that was something he always admired. even if he knew that would be the cause of your downfall, you’d be bringing everyone down with you in the process. 
AVENTURINE clicked his tongue, shaking his head from side to side like you would chide a kid. "risks are only good when the possible good outcome outweighs the bad consequences, and you have to remember that risks can backfire."
your ego was bruised by his words, not that you would have admitted it. he always got in your way, and you didn’t know why he couldn’t leave you well enough alone to handle it yourself. “how hypocritical of you to say, when you take the biggest gambles nobody dares to bet their money on.” 
"i take risks, yes, and i’ve taken the biggest bets... but what's the difference between mine and yours?"
you shifted back when he sauntered close to you, your noses nearly touching each other. you could smell the scent of sickly sweet soulglad in his breath, warm on your face as he whispered to you. "i calculate."
his eyes softened for just a moment, and you could have missed it if you had not turned your back on him. “hey, just… be careful. that’s all i’m asking you to do.”
"i just don't want you to get hurt, is all, and i’ll be damned if you do get hurt." he murmured, and you couldn’t have heard him over the loud music from the instruments and the cheers from the crowd as the encore started. he watched, voice stuck in his throat as you turned away from him. all he ever wanted was for you to look at him. not like that would ever happen. he’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t scared to see you throw yourself into danger headfirst. 
he hated you like you hated him, but not in the way you were thinking. he hated how you managed to ruin his flawless plans without any effort; he hated how you could crumble the brick walls and navigate through the sandstorm that shields his heart; he hated that you didn’t even know what you did to him; he hated that you didn’t even like him back.
and those three words were a risk that AVENTURINE would never take, for your answer was an outcome that would be unfavourable to him. 
Tumblr media
© AVENTURNE 2024. DO NOT COPY, REPOST, SHARE, TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD MY WORKS ONTO ANY OTHER SITE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION
196 notes · View notes
farfromstrange · 1 year
Text
Customer Service | Matt Murdock
Pairing: Matt Murdock x afab!reader
Summary: After a particularly rough week, all you want to do is cry. It has you on edge and makes you say things you don’t mean. After letting out your anger on your boyfriend, he makes it his mission to take care of you for a change.
Warnings: SMUT, 18+ MINORS DNI, oral (f receiving), Matt Murdock eats pussy like a champ, fingering, squirting (I feel filthy), emotional hurt/comfort, no use of y/n, no pronouns, reader has female body parts, 1st person pov (?)
a/n: As someone who quit their job in customer service for the exact same reasons I have stated in this fic, this is very personal to me and self-indulgent, again. I wrote this after a particularly bad day. Sometimes I wish Matt were real so he could actually do this to me.
Tumblr media
There is nothing in all of existence that I loathe more than people. Why I chose to work in customer service in the first place has become more and more of a mystery to me. I could have quit after the first week, I should have, but whenever the thought crosses my mind, I tell myself: ‘It’s going to get better. You will get used to it.’ I did not, in fact, get used to it. Or, I did, I just started to hate myself even more. Every day I get home from an eight-hour shift, I’m tired, I’m exhausted and I feel the desperate need to throw myself off a cliff. 
There are days when it’s easier. The elderly couple who comes in every Sunday, for example, to drink their coffee and have a lengthy conversation over a piece of cake, never fails to make me smile. They’re always kind, and forthcoming and they tip, even though I know they don’t have the money to.
Or the woman who likes to pick up lunch for her husband, she always calls me sweetheart, and she’s never bothered if her order takes just a little too long. The regulars chat me up and I like it because it makes me feel less alone behind the counter, as life passes me by and I can’t help to stare at the clock every five minutes to calculate how many hours of the day are left. They make it easier to forget about the overtime I inevitably have to put in every night. They know I don’t eat enough or smile enough or drink enough, and so they make me smile because they’re good people. 
But some continuously want to tell me how to do my job, the one I’ve given blood and sweat for to master down to the smallest detail, and those who treat me like I’m responsible for their bad days and those who don’t care that I’m human, I just have to serve.
It’s so exhausting that some people don’t care about the workers behind the counter. I hate that my boss doesn’t seem to care either, that we don’t get paid enough, and that I’m expected to jump whenever they want me to. I got a life too, but that doesn’t matter because I’m cheap and they love to use those who never learned how to say no.
I physically can’t tell them I can’t work whenever I’m asked to pick up an extra shift, or when I’m sick or have to do anything else. It’s not even my main occupation and yet, here I am! Every day, I tell myself, I should just quit. It’s not my responsibility if they can’t treat their employees right. It’s not my responsibility they’re understaffed. I’m a student, I go to college, and I’m working hard on my degree - why should I prioritize my job over the thing that will determine the rest of my life? 
And yet, every day, I go back. I go back and I work until my feet hurt and I’m sick and I’m tired and all I want to do is just cry. I go back because I, for the life of me, can’t say no. I can’t quit. I want to, but I can’t, and it’s killing me inside that I can’t talk about it the way I want to. In the end, I will always feel like everything is my fault and that I messed up, even though all I did was show up to work and turn into everyone’s punching bag. 
My stupidity is what got me here. Usually, I would be home now, studying, but they asked me to pick up a late shift at the cafè again, and I worked for seven hours with only a fifteen-minute break in between - I look horrible, I smell of coffee and cake, and my body is hurting in all the wrong places. The weight is heavy in my stomach. I’m nauseous. I ate, but not enough. I’m hungry. I feel sick. Even the smallest sounds make me want to jump up the wall, kill someone, or perhaps even both. I’m angry, and I don’t even fucking know why because nothing happened. Other than a rather messy day with too much to do and too few people to do the work, the people weren’t even rude and I’ve had worse days - still, I feel everything at once and it’s ridiculous, really, because I’m an adult and I should know better than to let a rough day affect me. I don’t. 
When he called and asked if I wanted to come over, I said yes. I didn’t want to, but saying no? Not something I would do, especially not to him. I walked into his apartment with a lump already in my stomach. The door creaked - God, I told him to oil it - and that was the first strike. I tossed my key into the bowl and it promptly fell back out. Second strike. My coat slipped from the hanger the second I hung it up. Third strike. I breathed, I had to, then went to the kitchen to make some dinner. Cooking usually works, usually, but the day must have gotten to me because the fourth strike - the fucking milk being expired - happened way too soon and it hit me, hard. After that, I was pretty much done for, and I knew, I just chose to ignore it. 
Of course, I should have known I would screw up everything else, too.
“Hey, sweetheart,” his voice is kind and soft in my ear as he presses a kiss to my cheek. His stubble has never been something to bother me before until that very moment. I flinch away, not sure why. If he realized it - which I’m sure he did - he doesn’t show. 
“Smells good,” he says. 
I put the garlic into the pan. It smells too much like garlic and I hate it. 
“What you making?”
“Pasta,” I tell him. 
He kisses me again. “Mh-hm. How was your day?” the question is stupid, but it’s normal and he always asks. He gets himself a beer - only himself - removes the cap with his mouth and then leans against the counter. 
He shouldn’t infuriate me. He shouldn’t make me angry just by standing there and asking me questions couples ask themselves, but inevitably, he does. And I hate myself all the more for the way my voice sounds when I answer him. 
“Fine,” I say. 
“Fine?” he asks. “How was work?” I feel like he’s getting suspicious. “You only had two lectures today, right? English lit and what was the other one?”
“Linguistics.”
“Ah, yes. Your least favorite.”
Perhaps that’s why I’m angry. 
“You know,” he says and the tangent he goes on after revolves around him and only him, and while I don’t like talking about myself, that doesn’t mean he has to unload all of his stress on me - I don’t know why I think that way and it’s scaring me because I don’t actually feel that way, but at that moment I do and it’s all very confusing.
I just want to lock myself in his bedroom and cry. He looks so good with the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up. He’s wearing his glasses, still, but his tie is loosened and he smiles because he knows I love that smile. I should love it. I should love the way his muscles tense underneath his shirt or the way his dress pants hang impossibly low on his hips, but for the first time, I don’t. I don’t love anything, I just feel anger, which makes me hate everything, but mostly myself. 
I must have zoned out. Suddenly, he’s calling my name and he’s calling me sweetheart and he’s poking me with his hands - no, he’s stroking my hips, hugging me from behind, and it’s all too much. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I lie. He knows I’m lying. He can hear it in my heartbeat. He can feel it in the way I move away from him to rinse the now-empty pan in the sink. 
How is the food already finished?
“You didn’t listen to a word I just said,” he dares to sound offended. 
“No, I did.”
“Really, what did I say?”
“You and Foggy had a case, didn’t go well, bla bla bla. Same as every day.”
He sets the bottle down. “Alright, sweetheart, what’s wrong? I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”
“Oh, so just because I don’t care about hearing the same story repeat itself every day and you whining about it means there’s something wrong with me?”
He’s taken aback. Quite frankly, I’ve never snapped at him before, not like this, not out of nowhere, and we’ve been dating for over a year. With his super senses, there is little that eludes the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, especially when it comes to his girlfriend. I hate that it’s like this. I hate not having any privacy, even when I try to. But I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want privacy. Or, I think. I don’t even know what I want. I know I want to be around him, but at the same time, it hurts because the anger is too damn hot to swallow, and his concern doesn’t make it any better. It should be, but it’s not. I’m a lost cause. 
“I was just telling you about my day,” he says. I would yell back at myself if I were him, but he knows me. He knows yelling doesn’t help. He knows I’d cry, but maybe that’s what I want. Maybe I want him to yell just so I have a valid reason to cry, to be angry. 
I want him to hate me the way I hate myself. 
That’s why I can’t help it anymore. “Maybe I don’t want to hear about your day.”
“What?”
“The world doesn’t revolve around you, Matthew!”
He’s confused. I don’t blame him. The second the words left my mouth, I regret them. They make me sound like the most selfish person on the whole planet. I can’t take them back though. If I did, he’d know something is wrong and then he’d worry, he’d pity me and no, I don’t want that. I want to rile him up. I’m not sure why, but it makes me so angry that he’s so calm and I’m… well, I’m me, but I’m also not me. I’m a stranger in my own body. 
I put the pasta in a bowl. It stinks of alcohol and tomatoes and garlic, too much of it. I wonder how anyone could eat that. 
“Here,” I shove it into his hand, “You’ve been served. I’m gonna take a shower.”
I’m a bad person. I’m pretty sure I am. Who yells at their boyfriend because they can’t deal with their own problems? Who makes the person they love more than life itself feel like shit on purpose for no reason whatsoever? A sane person wouldn’t. We have never been a normal couple, Matthew and I, but we’re trying. Turns out, I suck much more than I thought I would.
It’s not the age gap, I’m sure of it. I’m in my last year as an English Major and he’s a defense attorney. Somehow, we make it work. He loves me, I know he does. He’s afraid of rejection - he thinks everyone he loves will leave him, which is why it took us a while to find together. I should have known my words were going to hurt him unimaginably. He thinks he did something wrong, but it’s not him. It’s never him. He’s damaged, but he’s nothing if not perfect to me, most of the time. 
I’m heavily crying at this point, trying to conceal my sobs, but it’s not working. The water is loud, not loud enough to fool Matt’s hearing, but even if he were to hear it, he knows better than to provoke me any further. He doesn’t know what’s going on and neither do I, so it’s just the two of us silently waiting for the other to come around. He shouldn’t have to feel that way. And so I cry more because God, I do not deserve that man. I don’t deserve his kindness or his love. I don’t. I really, really don’t. 
And once I’m out of the bathroom, I remember why I don’t deserve him. 
The table is set for two. Candles substitute for the harsh ceiling light. He knows it gives me headaches sometimes. He put a bowl out for me and a glass of wine. White wine. The sweet kind. The kind he hates but keeps around in case I ever need a glass. He’s drinking red wine. It’s cheap, but it looks expensive and he likes to feel special from time to time. 
I hug my arms around my body. He has his back turned to me, fixing a salad in the kitchen - I must have forgotten it. The way he moves is almost angelic. He moves as if nothing happened, as if I didn’t just treat him like a bitch. He’s singing my favorite song or humming it, anyway. The room smells of him and me and the food I loathed before, but watching him do all of this for me, even now, is sucking the air out of my lungs and suddenly, I don’t mind the thought of eating with him.
I only want one thing. I don’t want to ask for it and he’s not going to do anything unless I talk. We agreed on that from the beginning, no matter what kind of intimacy it involves. Without consent or a proper conversation, nothing will happen. And I curse myself for not being able to speak without the tears blocking my view again. 
“There’s a sweater on the couch,” he states. He knows I’m cold. “And some fuzzy socks, if you want.”
The clothes smell like him. 
“I put some more salt in the pasta. I think you forgot to salt the water, so I took it upon myself. I hope you don’t mind. Also, I tried to make your favorite salad dressing, but I’m not sure if I managed to get it right this time.”
He smiles and then his glasses are gone and he has an apron on and he looks like he loves me, really loves me, and that’s it. I pull my legs up to my chest, falling deep into the couch and I cry. All the pain just comes exploding out of me like an active volcano. 
The leather dents next to me. “Comfort or solution?” he asks. It’s so casual, I get the feeling he’s not mad at me. 
“I don’t know,” it sounds so broken.
His arm finds around my shoulder. “Is this okay?” I can only nod. Yes.
He moves me gently so I’m in his lap and he can rock me like a baby. It feels good to be loved like this, but it’s also suffocating. Still, I can’t help but fall deeper into his hold because this is, in fact, all I needed. Too stubborn to ask for it, I almost ruined something good. I know I did. He knows, too, but unlike me, he knows the difference between me being mad at him and being mad at the world. He knows I don’t mean what I say unless we’re fighting, and this isn’t it. We’re not fighting. I’m just angry and I want to cry, even while crying, and that makes me cry even more. 
“You want to talk about it?” he asks once I can finally breathe again. 
I blow my nose like a disgusting person and say, “Yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe.” And that about sums up all of my life. 
“Is it school?”
I shake my head. If it’s not school, it can only be one other thing. 
“Work?”
I nod. 
“Anything happen or just a bad day?”
“Bad day.”
“That’s why you yelled at me? I didn’t do anything wrong?”
“No,” I say truthfully for the first time. “I’m just angry. I don’t know, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Maybe next time try telling me though. I was actually scared I did something until I heard you cry in the shower.”
I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I tell him that, to which he only chuckles. 
“You know how many times I acted hostile towards you after a long day?” he says. “It happens. It’s okay.”
“I just… I’m so stressed all the time. I hate work and I hate people and I hate not getting paid enough or on time, but I can’t quit because you know, I’m me and they know that, so they take advantage of my inability to say no, and it sucks because I’m so tired of working more than I go to school, but I need the money, and so I can’t leave until I’ve found another job, but no one else wants me, so now I’m here, trying to see the good in this stupid job, but I don’t. I can’t. I hate it. I hate everything and everyone and I hate myself and I think I’ll get my period soon because this should not be upsetting me this much.”
His hand on my back manages to soothe me. 
“Thank you,” I say, and I mean it.
He smiles down at me, all loopy, and his sightless eyes are focused somewhere on my forehead, which makes everything so much better. 
“I love you.”
And yes, I love him too. I love him so fucking much, it hurts. 
“I love you too, Matty.”
As soon as I say his name, he knows what I want. He knows I need to destress. He knows I can’t eat until I can forget. 
“Is there something I can do?” he asks, but damn him, he already knows. 
“Can you…” no, I can’t ask him for that.
“Yes?”
“Matt, can…” No. “You know what, never mind.”
“No, sweetheart. Tell me. What do you need?”
“I just…” my chest heaves a frustrated groan. “IneedyoutoeatmeoutuntilIcantremembermyname.”
He enjoys it. He gets off on it, my desperation. “Sorry, what?”
“You heard me.”
“I don’t think I did. Can you repeat that?”
“God.” My face is burning. 
“I’m sorry, it’s just, this is the first time you actually asked me and I love hearing you ask for the things you want. It’s sexy.” 
Somehow, that’s even worse. My thighs clench like I’m some pathetic little schoolgirl with a crush on her teacher. 
“You know, maybe you can ask for a raise tomorrow, or quit altogether,” he says. “But for that to work, you have to tell me what you want right now.”
“I asked you to eat me out until I can’t remember my fucking name!”
“Thank you. Wasn’t so hard, was it?”
If there is one thing Matt Murdock is incredibly skilled with, it’s his mouth. And I don’t just mean the words that come out. Essentially, it’s all in his tongue. He’s managed to render me speechless on more than one occasion, and he knows. He knows I love when he touches me, but there are times when it has to be about me, and only me, and he’d gladly suffocate between my thighs. He’s told me that time and time again.
He keeps telling me to ask him if I want something. I never do. I hate asking for it because it’s embarrassing. It’s good that he knows what he’s doing, that bastard because if he didn’t, I wouldn’t be cumming and I wouldn’t tell him. Somehow he always gets the job done, no matter how stressed I am. 
That’s why I need it so badly. I need him to take care of me, no matter how long it takes. I know it might take a while because I’m tense and he knows too. He reads my body like an open book. That’s how he knows I’m horny before I even do. 
He doesn’t move for another minute. He just stares at me. “You want me to take care of you?” he asks.
“Please,” I beg. 
“Guess I’ll have dessert before dinner today then.”
He lifts my head and then he’s suddenly on top of me. He’s sliding me up the couch so he can fit in between my legs. I’m dressed in shorts, a t-shirt, and his sweater and for a second I wonder if it’s even worth it. I’m ovulating, I’m bloated. I feel like shit. My hormones are all messed up. I can feel the weight of my boobs tear on my back and I’m pretty sure the hairs on my legs prickle his cheek as he kisses them. It’s making me want to take back everything I asked of him. 
My confidence has taken a low blow this past week. 
Though Matt doesn’t care, he never does. He digs his nose between my thighs and takes the longest whiff I’ve seen him take in a while. To be fair, the last time we saw each other, he was busy with work. We didn’t have time for intimacy, which hardly ever happens. He moans. 
Smug bastard.
“You’re so beautiful,” he tells me. It melts my heart. The compliment means so much more knowing he can’t physically see me. To him, I’m beautiful. He couldn’t care less about what I looked like. Although sometimes I wonder what picture he has made up of me in his mind. 
His lips are on mine fast. I can’t help but sigh. They’re so soft. He doesn’t rush, he just kisses me and then kisses me some more. I tangle my hands in his hair. I’m sure, this is what heaven must be like.
“Let’s take this off.” His sweater joins my shorts on the floor. “May I?” He hooks his fingers underneath the waistband of my panties. “Or do you want me to keep them on?”
I have no doubt he could do it with five layers in between and still make me cum.
“Off,” I say. I want this. I have to remind myself that my insecurities mean nothing – he loves me. He wants to do this for me. He wants to do this because he likes it, or else he would say it. 
Matt is vocal, but I’m not. If he doesn’t want to do something, he’ll say. Can’t say the same about me, which is why he asks repeatedly, even after I already told him it’s okay. He wants to make sure I’m on board, that I don’t feel pressured and can pull out any time I want, but I don’t, because the second the cold air hits my bare cunt, all I want is him. 
I can feel his eyes searching for me. “Hey,” he says my name. “We’re not playing this time, okay? You can cum when you need to and how many times you want to. You just have to lay back and relax. I’ll take care of you.” 
He intertwines our fingers on either side of my spread thighs before he dives into me. It’s slow and steady. He doesn’t care about fucking me with his tongue like he usually does. He licks and bites, but mostly, his tongue and lips stay around my clit and they suck. They suck so good, I see stars behind my eyes. His touch sends shocks down my spine. My sensitive walls clench around thin air, but his head is so far between my thighs, I still manage to feel full. 
But no matter how hard I try, I can’t focus. It feels so good, way too good, and on any other day, I would’ve come by now. His beard burns into the inside of my thigh as I rock against him. I try to, but it’s exhausting. I can feel the coil in my lower belly clear as day, and yet it’s too far out of reach. I need it, I crave it. 
I can hear myself saying, “This could take a while.” And he laughs because he finds it funny. It’s not funny though, it’s serious. I hate the fact that he makes me feel so good and I can’t find it in myself to enjoy. 
“Close your eyes,” his breath fans hot against my folds. “And just stop thinking.” 
He makes it his mission to ruin me. I close my eyes and as soon as I do, he’s on me. It’s not just his mouth. One of our joined hands reaches up to touch my breast – he twists my nipple through the shirt until it’s hard and has his attention. The other reaches behind me and lifts my hips. The next thing I know, he has me propped up on a pillow. The muscles in my lower back relax. I sigh. It’s so good. 
He’s given up on slow and steady. His head moves in circles as he abuses – I don’t have another word for it – my clit and eats the rest of me like a man starved. I realize I need it fast and I need it hard. He knows it before I do. His tongue expertly parts my wet folds, a mix of arousal and spit trickling down my thighs, but I could care less. He’s inside of me and then his thumb is there and it’s rubbing and rubbing and rubbing and I’m so fucking close, the knot in my stomach feels like it weighs a hundred pounds, and it’s applying sweet, sweet pressure on cunt. 
“Fuck!” I throw my head back into the leather. My back arches impossibly high, and his head squished tightly between my thighs. I need him closer. His hair is so soft, it makes me want to cry, and I do. I cry, but not in a sad way. I cry out because yes, God yes! and then I’m cumming, suddenly and without warning, hard, all over his face, and it doesn’t stop. He doesn’t stop.
The growl is animalistic. It vibrates perfectly through my pussy and I can’t help it – it barely takes two minutes until his lips start hurting so good as they keep sucking my clit, a series of ‘one more’ leaves his lips in a plea, and I’m rocking against him hard. I’m begging him, “Matt,” but I’m not sure what for. 
“C’mon,” he says, “you can give me one more.”
He’s right. God, I hate when he’s right. My toes curl and I push his face so deep into me, I’m convinced he’s running out of air, but that’s what makes him moan and it sends me over the edge.
I’m pretty sure I passed out. The pleasure is so intense, my stomach feels like it’s being torn apart and then put back together. The world is dark and for the first time today, quiet. 
Something nudges my cheek softly. It’s his hand. Matt kisses me and I can taste myself on his lips. “Hey,” he coaxes me back into lucidity. “There you are. Are you okay?”
I nod.
“You need anything?”
It’s a reflex, reaching for him. He gasps slightly when my hand touches between his thighs, expecting to find a visible bulge, but there is none. I’m not sure if it’s my mind playing tricks on me, but there is a visible wet spot where his dick is supposed to be. 
“Did you-“ I finally open my eyes. He looks so drunk in the candlelight. I realize then that he is drunk on me. 
He buries his head in my neck. “You’re not the only one who’s been worked up all week,” he says. 
“You just- oh, my God.” I never thought it possible that it could be enough for him. “Thank you.” 
“No, thank you. You’re always so good to me. Good girl. But I think-“ his finger steals my breath as it circles my entrance and promptly slips it inside of me. “You can cum for me again.” 
I arch into him. My chest brushes against his. Our shirts suddenly feel like too much clothing and I’m desperate, so I tear at the buttons until they come apart. He has his arm back underneath me, holding me flush against him as if he’s afraid I might slip away. 
A wanton moan escapes me. “That’s it,” and his praise is even better. “Think you can take another one?”
He adds a second finger. It burns but only because even after a year, I’m still struggling to take any part of him. His fingers are thick and they’re rough and they’re scratching my inside walls just right. They massage the flesh. He’s pumping his fingers in and out and in and out, and he adds his thumb back on my clit because he knows I won’t be able to cum without it.
All of the stress falls off my shoulders. I feel him everywhere, his kisses, his touch, his hard nipples against mine. He’s hard again, poking against my thigh. I reach for him and he whines, he whines into my mouth. I’m not sure which one of us will come first. I suppose it’s me, it’s always me. He makes sure it will be me.
He hits as deep as he possibly could. His fingers curl inside of me and then, “There it is!” Is so victorious, it makes my eyes roll back. He keeps hitting that particular spot over and over again. My hand clutches his shoulder. I want to scream, but all that comes out is a series of whined and pathetic moans. I can’t help it, my muscles contract around him. 
“Damn, you’re gonna break my fingers,” he says. His chuckle is breathless. “You close?”
I hum.
“Do me a favor,” and I expect him to tell me anything but what he requests, “Don’t cum.” 
It’s rude. It’s cruel and it’s vile and I want to murder him because just as he says it, the coil tightens impossibly tight and I need to let go. It’s painful to hold it in, especially now. But I do as he tells me nonetheless. I want to please him. 
“Matt,” I moan. He’s so unfair and he knows it.
He smirks. “Just hold on a little longer.”
“I can’t!”
“Yes, you can. I know you can.”
“St- oh, fuck!” He hits my sweet spot with twice the intensity. I almost cum, but only almost. I keep it together, no matter how much it hurts, and it’s making tears prick at my eyes. “Please, just let me cum,” I hate begging him. “Please, Matty.”
“Shhh. We’re almost there.”
His thumb speeds up. I can see heaven. God is reaching his hand out for me. My stomach is in a tight knot, so tight, the silk might rip any second. The pressure is unreal. My muscles have been trained by him, I admit, but nothing can prepare you for this. Nothing can prepare you for the times when Matt has his mind set on something and he’s going to take it. He’s going to take you. 
I can’t think. It’s too much. I know I’m going to disappoint him. The animal inside of me is beyond satisfied and she wants out. She wants to let go. She loves the feeling of his fingers buried to the hilt inside of her. She loves him, and loving him tends to turn into sweet, sweet torture.
I moan his name again. His cock twitches underneath his dress pants, hot against my fingertips. 
“Almost,” he promises. “I just want to try something.”
What could he possibly want to-
“Cum.”
I’m flying. My back lifts off the couch and if it wasn’t for him, I would be dead by now. My body is shaking. It’s earth-shattering and it’s wet and it’s everywhere. I can feel the orgasm tearing me apart from the inside, blood rushing in my ears. My senses go black. I can’t see, feel or breathe. Everything is too much. It’s burning, it’s heavy, but it’s amazing.
His fingers don’t stop until he has milked the last drop of me until even the last ounce of stress has left my body and I’m limp. I’m a corpse. I’m barely breathing, a wet sack of potatoes in his arms. 
God, the look on his face. He’s cumming too. The wet patch on his pants has doubled. It’s not from me, although I’m suddenly very aware of the fact of what he just made me do.
“Oh.”
“Fuck,” he growls. “That was amazing.”
I never expected to have it in myself. “Oh, Jesus.” My words are highly blasphemous but I don’t care. I’m not even sure how to feel. The blush creeps up my cheeks and I close my legs a little. Everything is so wet. It’s all me and some of him, but mostly me. Just spurts of cum all over his hand and his couch.
He clicks his tongue, shoving my thighs apart. “Don’t go shy on me now,” he says.
“No, it’s embarrassing.”
“Embarrassing? Sweetheart, I’ve never felt more proud of myself.”
“I just- your couch. Oh, God.”
“I’m pretty sure the couch will survive it. Leather is easier to clean. How do you feel?”
I sigh, snuggling against his chest. “Better,” I have to admit. “Much, much better.”
“Good.” He kisses my neck. “Can I have my fingers back now?”
“No.” I like the feeling of him inside of me, even if it’s just his fingers. It makes me feel complete, almost. 
“Okay.” 
“Just gonna rest my eyes now.”
“You do that, sweetie. I’ll be here.” 
And he is. He always is. I wake up, and he’s there, and he always will be because he promised me this is forever. Us. Me and him. And I realize then that I’ve never been more in love with another person than I am in love with Matt Murdock.
3K notes · View notes
Note
slashers x child!reader who likes to take apart their toys to make little inventions/new toys
*dies* I didn't add Billy and stu because I'm so tired and have no inspiration
Slashers x child! Reader who rips other toys to built new ones.
Michael
You probably got old dolls from a few decades ago from Judith's old toys she had when she was a child or his.
Michael didn't care that much that you were destroying the toys until he saw you either only ripped a limb or a head.
He then came and saw you with a toy he never saw before when he recognised some parts and realised you built a new toy out of different toys.
He'll admire it like how he'll admire his "art works" after killing someone. The more weirder and creepier the more he'll like it. although he'll like any kind of invention you make.
When you ran out of toys he broke in a toy shop once and got as many as he could and gave them to you.
You got a whole shelf of your little inventions and he stares at it whenever you're gone and he has nothing to do.
Sinclair brothers
They got you either old toys of theirs (I hv no idea if they had toys as children) or toys around the town.
Bo was like 'why??' when you took apart your toys parts but when he saw you building a new one he thought 'wait that's kinda cool actually' he thinks of it like repairing or building a car so when he actually is repairing a car he'd like it if you were also building something so that you can both look like father and daughter doing similar things. When you finished a piece and showed it to him he probably petted your head and said "good job", what he really wanted to say was 'oh my god, oh my god holy shit it's beautiful you built something in so proud of you'. Got one or two of yours as a gift to him and he keeps it extra safe.
Vincent was ecstatic when you showed him your new toy and told him your little hobby, now you both can make art! He could be painting or wax sculpturing and you could be building with him. He's so proud of you whenever you managed to fully make a toy he howls a bit in delight and gives you two thumbs up and he probably sketches your toys because he thinks they're so interesting. He'll be a bit sad when he sees his childhood toys broken though he thinks your new ones are totally worth it. He sometimes likes you watch you do your thing and helps you if you can't figure out what to make.
Lester was also whying when he saw you taking apart the toys, did you hate it that much? But he went wowing when he saw what you were actually doing and totally watches you make your new toys. He will say so many praises when you finish it, will talk about it to his brothers and bo acts annoyed but he secretly wants to hear all about it too. Wants to learn how to build too, it gets boring having nothing to do driving around all day you know. except when tourists are here but scratch that the twins will sometimes find you both together on Lester's trunk on a challenge to see who can build faster and better, its a tie everytime. Jonesy would be there to watch you two (everyone's watching) if you run out of toys then he'll bring you abandoned cheaper ones.
Hannibal
I think it all started when he brought you expensive nice ones and you took one look at it and then ripped it. He almost choked on air when he saw that.
"y/n.. Why did you do that if you didn't like it you could've just told me..."
When you told him about your intentions he replied with,
"I wish you could've told me that sooner, I could've brought cheaper ones." he pinches the bridge of his nose.
And he did. And he watches with great interest on how your little invention will turn out and smiles and praises you when you show him your art piece. Also like Michael he had shelf/shelves full of your works. Informs Will about this too this is how it goes.
_________________________________________
Will, Will look what y/n made.
Hannibal it's 2 am.
_________________________________________
He's a happy little cat when you talk to him about your toys and he's just glad he adopted you. Like Vincent you both can do your little art things.
2K notes · View notes
cecilebutcher · 3 months
Text
Eᴀᴠᴇsᴅʀᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ
Tumblr media
!!Likes do nothing, Reblog instead!!
Summary: you eavesdrop on your boyfriend. (Vil, Malleus)
Warning: swearing, stress, Malleus being too pure for the world.
For: @boopshoops
Word count: 1.6k
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
V.Shoenhiet
Being in a relationship with the Vil Shoenheit was all fun and games.
Until he starts working.
While yes, you adore the blonde and he’s an amazing boyfriend.
when he has work he suddenly forgets that there are people around him
And that meant he tended to ignore everything and everyone around him for the sake of utter perfection in his performance.
And while you do understand how important this is to him. (And you by extension)
Sometimes you wished he’d just drop his work and go back to normal.
This was one of those instances.
It’s been around a week since Vil started shooting for his new movie. And while at first you were extremely excited for him and even more happy, right now you were extremely annoyed at the beautiful blonde.
Currently you were sat at the Pomefiore lounge waiting for Epel so the two of you could finally go out after what feels like years of you waiting for the short male. “Bonjour Trickster!” The sudden voice made you jump a bit, and the face didn’t make you feel all that comfortable either.
“Hey Rook, what’s up?” You asked the blonde smiling down at you “anything entreating going on with you today?” He sighed as he took a seat next to you on the comfy purple coach “non, I’m just worried for Roi du poison” that managed to catch your attention.
Rook, being Rook, noticed the concern on your pretty features “Trickster” He said as he looked at you “would you do me a small favor and check on Roi du poison?” Not even a second after he had asked, you were already on your feet heading towards the houswardens room.
You were practically running through the halls of the castle like dorm, trying to get to your lover as fast as you could. Soon you arrived to his room, and before you knocked you heard his angelic voice from behind it.
“I get that I have a shoot this weekend, but you have to understand I have other priorities” you drive in your place, he was obviously talking on the phone. On one hand you could knock the door, which means he’ll have to end the phone call. And on the other, you could just leave and come back in a bit.
Instead of choosing A or B you decided on C, listen in on his phone call. You placed your ear to the door and waited patiently. After a bit he started talking again. “No I don’t want to loose the job, but I’ve been neglecting my duties as a housewarden and student….. yes it is important, I have to be a role model to the other students……. No…. No I get it but”
He let out a sigh, and annoyed and tired sigh “listen, just give me this weekend off, I’ll get my housewarden and student duties over with and come in next week…. Yes…. Yes I promise” anger pulsed through you. Vil was a sweetheart who cared deeply about both his dorm mates and his studies, and now here comes work keeping him from both these things.
You wanted to barge in there, snatch the phone from his hands, and yell at whoever he was on the phone with. You hated when people decided to tell Vil what to do. Yes they were technically his bosses, but still!! Vil deserves to get breaks so he can live his life as a teenager!
Just as you were about to actually barge in, someone grabbed your arm and yanks you away. That someone was none other then your oh so beloved friend Epel Feilmer. “What are you doing?!” He yelled/whispered out at you “If Vil finds out you’re eavedropping/“ “He won’t do anything!” You yelled/whispered back. “Listen, I’m just worried about him ok?” The purple haired let out a sigh before saying “I know I know” his accent returned “I’m worried about Vil as well, but you have to let him be alright?”
You nodded with an annoyed frown “now come on, we’ll buy some gifts for him while we’re out to make him feel better” you said a quiet ‘ok’ as you started to follow him, after giving a last glance at the wooden dorm room door. You took out your phone and sent him a small ‘Love you<3’ text and left.
All you knew in that moment, is that once iou come back you’ll spoil the fuck out of your boyfriend and dote on him till he dies from love and affection.
M.Draconia
Malleus Draconia.
How you managed to date the Malleus Droconia, Prince of fae, you will never know.
But even thought people say he’s terrifying (which you thought was stupid, he’s literally just so cute)
He’s a wonderful boyfriend.
He’s kind, caring.
And fucking badass.
So you did what anyone with common sense did, and decided to surprise him with home made ice cream.
It took you ages to find the right ingredients for the salted caramel ice cream you were making, and took you even longer to make the ice cream. But the end results were amazing.
Currently you were headed to the Diasomnia dorm with the container in your arms. Once the dark castle was in view you took a deep breath and walked towards in. Once inside you were greeted by the sight of Sebek lecturing Silver while the older male dozed off.
“Hi guys!” The two turned to look at you, Silver smiling and Sebek with his ever lasting scowl “Hey mc, what are you doing here?” Asked the silver haired male “I’m here to see Malleus!! I have something for him if that’s ok” you replied with a smile.
“The young master is busy right now it’s Lilia, it’s best to come back later” Sebek crossed his arms as he spoke. Silver just gave you a ‘you know how he is’ look about Sebek and flopped down on the couch besides him “or you can just wait”
You nodded at them before quickly going to the kitchen and placing the ice cream inside so it wouldn’t melt while you waited for your lover. Once back at the common room you were glad to see Sebek no longer annoying the poor boy and instead on the couch next to him tapping away at his phone while Silver slept peacefully. You sat down next to the sleeping sophomore and waited.
After what felt like years, but according to Sebek only 30 minutes, you were bored and extremely tired of waiting.
So you decided to do what any other sane person would do in this situation, and barge into the crown prince of briar valleys room.
After getting your oh so amazing ice cream, you started going up the countless stairs of the Diasomnia dorm. After countless hallways you were finally able to find the large door belonging to the Diasomnia housewardens room.
Before you were able to knock on the door, signifying that you wanted to enter you heard the oh so majestic voice of your beloved boyfriend talking to his oh so wonderful father and mentor, Lilia. Against your better judgement you decided to place your ear to the door and listen in, mostly simply to hear Malleus’ voice.
“Are you sure that would suffice Lilia?” A smile appeared on your face as your beloved boyfriend’s voice came through the closed door, even if it was muffled a bit “Maybe the child of man would like something more? A diamond necklace or a ruby bracelet perhaps?” You could hear Lilia’s sigh. A sigh he let out meaning ‘you truly are stupid’
“Malleus. Mc wouldn’t care weather you bought them 30 pure diamonds and pearls or picked up a flower for a garden for them. Trust me, what you have is more than enough” you smiled fondly at the thought of him bringing you something. Knowing malleus it could range from a tiny rock in a shape of a heart, or an actual castle just for you.
Before you could hear more and ruin whatever surprise the fae had prepared you, you knocked on the door. The two stopped talking, and a few seconds later the door opened to show the gorgeous face of your beloved. “Oh, Child of man! What can I help you with my dear?” He greeted, his eyes going soft as a smile of adoration appeared on his lips.
You held out the container and spoke “I made you ice cream! It’s salted Carmel flavored” somehow, the smile grew softer as love filled Maleus’s eyes. He took the container from your hand and placed a free hand on the back of your head, bringing it closer before planting a gentle kiss atop your locks.
“Thank you dearest, it means the world to me that you brought me this” you gladly returned the smile before quickly planting a kiss on his cheek “I need to run, But come by later ok?” You said as you started to walk away “we can make ice cream sandwiches together!” You disappeared from his sight before he even had a chance but to reply to you.
But you knew he’d come. He always does. No matter what if you called he’ll be there in less than a minute. And you loved him so much for that. As you walked towards the staircase leading to the dark room lounge, you wondered what exactly had Lilia and Malleus discussed.
Whatever it was, all you knew that Lilia was correct. As long as it came from Malleus, you would cherish it even after death.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ahhhh I really hope you liked this!! I know it’s nothing compared to the amazing drawing you drew but I tried to make this good<33
Tumblr media
comments are more than appreciated. but reblogs help the content reach more people so please reblog if you want to like<3 likes do nothing. Seriously, don't like, reblog.
Likes<<< reblogs.
210 notes · View notes
daughterofthequeen · 4 months
Text
A New Diagnosis
Tumblr media
Pairing: Joel Miller x autistic daughter!reader
Summary: I have an idea. Joel Miller x daughter!reader, based in the camps they had everyone in after the outbreak(so a couple days after Sarah’s death technically) and the reader is a high functioning autistic who stims. So when they get to the camp and because of all the stress she has been under, it’s causing her stimming to flare up like crazy. So Joel and Tommy had to beg and plead to the soldiers, trying to let them know she is autistic and she wasn’t infected, that she just can’t control her stims.
Warnings: Angst, crying, cussing, stimming(not really a warning but its in the story), overstimulated meltdown, denial, most likely inaccurate chain of command about construction work or construction jobs in general, might be a little ooc Joel in one scene I’m not completely sure but it feels like it and I hate it😠😤.
A/N: the reader symptoms and preferences are based on my own, which is also where this idea came from. Ever since the show came out I just wondered what did they do to the people with ticks and stims at the beginning of the outbreak. I mean they eventually had to come up with a way to tell a difference in the beginning of the outbreak before they had the infection detector things, right?
I honestly might rewrite this because I don’t know if I like how this turned out. Usually I’m pretty good at picturing what characters would say in a certain situation, but there’s one part of the fic that I’m not so sure about( you’ll know it when you read it I’m sure). But it’s crazy because I’ve been living like this since the ages of 4 or 5 and it still extremely difficult to describe stimming, even harder writing about it. But I wish I had a Joel Miller parent so I guess I’m projecting a bit in this fic. And this may also be longest fic yet.
So I decided to make this into two parts because I want this posted today because it was supposed to be out yesterday and I don’t want to wait any longer.
Mockingbird (Part 2)
Taglist: @miss-celestial-being @ilovemydinoboi @taraiel @distorted-twink @geralallfandoms @your-shifting-gurl @daemontargaryenwhore @mihstar
Tumblr media
What started out as a regular day went to hell in the span of a couple hours. I mean homes being set on fire, families separated, innocents slaughtered due to the fear of a sickness they had no cure for. But I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? Let’s start from the beginning. My name is (Y/n) Miller, and this is the story of how everything went to shit.
I was only 4.
Tumblr media
As a kid you’re oblivious to almost everything, but sometimes a child’s behavior can reflect the type of day the family will have whether they realize it or not. And my attitude had been off all that week, until my father’s birthday aka outbreak day. I called it the calm before the storm. That week I was in an overall bad mood. All of my senses had been on high, being overstimulated plus the struggle of always being alone in school. I mean don’t get me wrong I use to talk to some of my classmates, but most likely than not I would’ve been playing by myself either from trying to avoid the bullies or because nobody wanted to play with me in general. But hey, you can’t miss what you’ve never had. I never really understood people, I still don’t but I had my family and they always made everything okay. They never made me feel different about myself. Regardless of me being only four, I understood that the repetitive behaviors were definitely not normal. Along with the what I now know as stimming; physical, vocal, scripting, ticking, etc. I could go on and on about everything that makes me different, but my family had always helped me feel normal. To be honest I didn’t start realizing I was doing all that stuff until one day my dad sat me down and asked me ‘what are you doing’ and ‘are you okay?’, which made me more self-aware. And then there was school, the weird looks and the mean jokes came into play. I’ve rarely caught my family staring, but I knew they were. Growing up and remembering the past helps you realize things you might’ve missed or didn’t understand as a kid. Like the concerned/confused stares I would catch my dad or uncle Tommy giving me before I was diagnosed. I just didn’t know what the looks were for. But the day my father finally decided something was indeed wrong, that it wasn’t just a phase, had him making an appointment to my clinic fast. It was the first time my stimming caused me serious pain. Well, from what I can remember anyway.
Tumblr media
July 23, 2002 - Austin,Texas (Y/n is 3 years old)
The day started out like any other. I woke up in my sister’s bed, once I got my bearings I got out of the bed and headed down stairs to see my dad and my sister having one of their many daily debates
“I’m just saying your generations music has nothing on ours- (Y/N)!” After hearing Sarah saying your name, Joel turned around seeing you standing in the kitchen doorway rubbing your eye.
“Hey babygirl. Did you have a good sleep?” He asked as he turned off the stove top and went to pick you up.
“Mhm. I’m hungry, daddy.”
“That’s good because I just cooked your favorite breakfast.” He said as he kissed your cheek and sat you down in the chair across from Sarah, who got the two of you orange juice. Joel then went to grab the plates. There were eggs, sausage, french toast, and he sat a bowl of grapes next to you knowing how much you love them. You all started eating your breakfast. You went straight for the grapes and started eating them, until you spotted something that looked weird to you. Frowning, you push the bowl away and went to the food on your plate.
“Something wrong with your grapes?” Joel asked you noticing the way you frowned up.
“They dirty daddy.” Causing Joel to frown in confusion.
“Dirty? I just washed ‘em.” Joel leaned forward and grabbed the bowl and didn’t see anything abnormal about the grapes. The water in the bowl didn’t even black specs in it that grapes leave behind. “They look fine to me.”
“No. They dirty daddy, look.” Standing in your chair, you leaned over and pointed to a grape with a light brown streak on it and another where it was brown from where the stem was.
“Oh, that doesn’t mean they’re dirty, baby. Grapes just to look like that sometimes or because they’ve gotten older. That’s all.”
“Ew.” You mumbled.
“They’re gonna taste the same.” Joel said as he sat the bowl back down next to you.
“I don’t want them anymore.” You say pushing the grapes away.
“They’re fine, (n/n). I actually think the small brown areas actually make them sweater.” Sarah says trying to reassure her baby sister.
“No.” That was your final statement before you went back to eating the food on your plate.
“Ok, you don’t have to eat ‘em.” Joel states as him and Sarah go back to eating their own food.
———
“(Y/n)!!! Come back here!”
“No!”
“We go through this every time you use the bathroom!”
Sarah was currently chasing you around the house. A daily thing really, but for the last few months you have determined on not washing your hands after using the bathroom. And not with just Sarah. With Joel and Tommy too. Joel usually would have to keep a firm grip on you that disabled you from moving away from the sink, and to keep you from running or flailing your arms around as an attempt to keep him from making you wash your hands.
The first time that happened you guys were at a restaurant. He would be surprised if that whole side of the restaurant didn’t hear you,
Tumblr media
“Daddy, I have to use the bathroom.”
“Ok.” Usually he would have Sarah take you but her and Tommy’s food had made it to the table. And since he was still waiting on his, there was no sense in stopping her from eating. He took you out of the high chair, and you two headed to the restroom. After the long process of putting toilet paper on the seat, he sat you on the seat and let you do your business. Once you were finished cleaning yourself up and him flushing the toilet, he waited for you to go towards the sink. But you headed towards the door instead.
“Don’t forget to wash your hands.” Joel said from his spot on the wall he was leaning on with his arms crossed.
Turning towards the sink, you clasped your hands to your chest, letting out a low groan of disgust.
“What is it?”
“I don’t want to touch it.”
“What the sink?” You nodded.
“You have to wash your hands, babygirl. Come on.”
“No.” You whined, and Joel knew then the two of you were going to have a problem.
“Babygirl, please.” He said in a pleading tone and tired tone.
“No!” Joel sighed then picked you up and held you over the sink as he usually would when washing your hands, but this time due to your decision of fighting and squirming in his arms, he had to get a gentle but firm grip on your hands to wash them himself.
Tumblr media
“(Y/n).” That caused you to stop in your tracks. The sound was unfamiliar until your mind put together it was your father’s voice. He never says your actual name unless you were in trouble, and even then it would depend. But him calling your name was enough time for Sarah to scoop you up and head to the nearest sink which was the kitchen.
Sarah sat you down after she finished washing your hands. After getting free you pouted and went into the living room to continue playing with your toys before your bladder interrupted you. So invested in what you were doing, you didn’t even hear your Uncle Tommy come in the house.
“What’s for dinner today?” He teased, rubbing the top of yours and Sarah’s head as he passed by each of you.
“I don’t know you’ll have to ask this guy. He was supposed to go to the store but surprise, he didn’t.” Sarah says with a sarcastic smile towards her father who was going through bills. Joel head turned towards Sarah giving a bored look.
“We’re ordering pizza.”
“Fine with me.” Tommy states triggering Joel to role his eyes.
“Of course it is.”
Sarah went upstairs for the book the two of you were reading. To ‘keep her ahead of her future classmates’. While Sarah was upstairs, Tommy eyes trailed over to you, he smiled as he watched you in your own little world playing with your toys while talking to yourself. He watched you for a minute until he saw you stretching your neck. Normally he would’ve thought nothing of it until he realized it was happening constantly. At first they were only seconds apart, then you would stop for a few minutes and start again. There wasn’t an exact pattern, but he caught the rhythm of it.
“Buns neck been bothering her?”
“No.” Joel answered absentmindedly, still invested in the papers he wished he could use as a coaster without consequence.
“You sure?”
“Yeah I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be sure?” Joel asked, getting annoyed by the fact he kept getting interrupted with his task.
“ ‘Cause she keeps stretchin’ it like it’s bothering her.”
Joel looks up at Tommy who had a slight worried look on his face. Joel then turns around in his chair to see what his brother was talking about. And true to his little brother’s words there you were stretching your neck and shoulder in a way that looks painful if he’s being honest. Joel turned back around to his brother with an equally concerned look. He leans closer towards him and lowers his voice before he started talking signaling Tommy to do the same.
“I don’t know why she does that, and every time I ask her if she’s ok she tells me she’s fine.”
“Maybe she has a crook in her neck.”
“No, if it was a crook we would know. She would be a lot worse. She tends to panic when she has one of those, and doesn’t do a lot of moving around. To stop the ‘bouncy feeling’. This. This is something else. And it’s been getting more frequent lately.”
“Frequent?”
“Yeah, this started a few months ago. It’ll leave and come back after a few weeks, but like I said it’s been happening a lot more often lately. She does it with her hands and wrist too.”
“Hm.”
Joel turned back towards his youngest. “Babygirl, you okay?” He said in a tone reserved for only you and Sarah when she’s upset about something.
You look up from your toys, bright innocent eyes finding your father’s concerned ones.
“Yeah.”
“You sure? Your neck not bothering you?”
“No.” You replied while standing up from your place on the floor and walked over to your father. When you got close enough he automatically picked you up and sat you on his thigh.
“Then why do you keep rollin’ it around honey?”
“I’m not.” Joel frowned in confusion. He’s clearly watching you do it so, either you’re lying for some unknown reason or you just don’t know that you’re doing it. But he’s always able to tell just by asking one question.
“Are you telling me the truth?” Simple, but it works. It was a question he would ask you every time he would think you were lying. And every time you answer you have a tell. When you tell the truth you tend to answer pretty confidently, but when you lie, you always fiddle with something whether it be your clothes, your fingers, or just bouncing your foot.
“Yes.” There’s no fidgeting. Covering up how even more confused he was in the moment he just nodded in understanding even though he didn’t.
“Ok baby, you want to go back to playin’ with your toys?”
“Yeah.” You replied getting down from your father’s lap before he even had the chance to put you down. Then you ran off to start back playing until Sarah came back down the stairs.
“(N/n), story time.” Hearing that you stood up and headed over to the couch with your sister. Before you sat down you picked up your stuffed bunny, Tommy got it for you when you were two. They used to use it to stop you from crying, but now you take it wherever you go. You laid down across the couch with Sarah and had your bunny in front of you in the same position you were to Sarah. She opened the book to where you two left off and started reading stopping at every few paragraphs to let you read.
Joel watched the two of you, his world. He would never understand how a mother would want to give this up.
“Have you thought about getting her checked out?” Tommy’s voice broke Joel from his thoughts.
“Checked for what?” Joel asked frowning at his brother.
“Joel, are you serious? Something could be wrong.”
“She’s fine, Tommy. She’ll grow out of it.”
“Grow out of it? Don’t you want to make sure?”
“Tommy, please.” Now Joel was lying. To himself especially. But that is understandable, what parent wants to accept that something may be wrong with their child. It was a scary thing to think about.
“What if it’s somethin’ wrong? Wouldn’t you want to get Bun’ the help she needs as soon as possible.”
“She doesn’t need help Tommy. I’m telling you she’ll grow out of it.”
“Joel-”
“Just let it go.” Joel whispered in a hardened tone, trying to keep his voice down so the girls wouldn’t hear that anything was wrong. “Look, would you order the pizza for tonight. I’m trying to finish up these bills.” Tommy mumbled a ‘sure’ and got up to make the call. He understood why Joel didn’t want to talk about that kind of stuff, what parent does? But knowing his stubborn nature he won’t act on it unless something happens that causes him to. After hearing the voice of the pizza lady on the line, Tommy uses it as a distraction to get his mind off his niece and his stubborn mule of a brother.
Tumblr media
January 16, 2003 - 6:30am
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
Sarah sat up with a soft groan and stretches, when she heard whining. She turned toward her sister who was hiding under the covers.
“Time to get up (n/n).” Sarah was about to stand up until she heard you cry out. She pulled back the covers to see you in a fertile position, hands covering your ears, eyes squeezed shut. “Come on (n/n), we- what’s wrong?” Sarah asked starting to panic seeing a tear fall from your eye.
“Too loud!” Sarah was confused for a second before she remembered the alarm was still going off. She quickly reached over to turn it off, and brought you into her arms. She laid you on her chest, rocking you back and forth while rubbing the top of your head, and she softly shushed you until you calmed down. When Sarah heard your cries turn into sniffles and looked down at you.
“You okay?” She asked softly rubbing the top of your head. She was confused as to why you reacted this way but, whatever the reason, it had her extremely worried. After seeing you nod your head she was able to relax, but she knew she still needed to tell dad about what just happened. Sarah got you up so, the both of you could start your morning routine. Everything went semi-smoothly, but that’s to be expected after your reaction to the alarm clock she’s not all that shocked about your agitated behavior. Sarah had just finished fixing your shirt when there was a knock on the bedroom door.
“Come in.”
“Hey, you girls almost ready?”
“Yep, we were just about to head down for breakfast.” Sarah stood from her kneeling position in front of you, letting you know that she was finished. And after going to tuck your bunny in bed you walked over to Joel.
“Unfortunately, you two are going to have to eat breakfast at school.” He said as he picked you up.
“Ew, why?” Sarah asked.
“Well your Uncle Tommy called and said there’s been an emergency at the house we’re working on so, when he pulls up we gotta go.” He grabbed your book bag and started down the stairs since you had decided to fall back asleep, not that he blamed you if he could he would have too. A minute later Tommy pulls up and surprisingly the Adlers weren’t outside, then again they were leaving a little earlier than usual. But, either way they didn’t have time to stop and talk. Sarah was dropped off first, then you. And it wasn’t until Sarah sat down in her first period class when she realized she forgot to tell her dad what happened this morning.
———
Time Skip
Normally, when school gets out you would ride home with Denise, due to her daughter going to the same school and Sarah’s school getting out 10 minutes after your school does. Then add another 20-30 minutes of her having to take the school bus then the city bus to get home. When Sarah makes it to the neighborhood she has to pass by Denise house to get to yours which is when she picks you up, but today didn’t work out that way. It started when Joel got a phone call from your school.
Joel and Tommy were currently managing the workers that were doing the framework of the building they were working on. Well Tommy was, Joel was trying to keep calm while talking to the construction manger.
“Look all I’m saying is we should be getting paid more since we’re working more hours than what we were told we would be working, don’t you think.” The construction manger has been going back and forth with Joel for about 10 minutes now, way too long for Joel’s liking.
“No, I don’t. Especially since the reason we’re in this situation is because you guys didn’t do your jobs right in the first place. You’re lucky you’re still gettin’ paid the amount that was agreed upon.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that if you and your guys spent as much time working as you do talking and taking breaks you probably would’ve done your jobs right the first time, and we wouldn’t be in this situation, or behind a day.” The manger didn’t take too kindly to that statement, and Joel was so close to losing his nerve until he was saved by the bell, literally. Right before he was about to tell the construction manager that he can stick it where the sun don’t shine, his phone started ringing.
Joel sighed while taking his phone out of the carrying case to see it was the preschool calling much to his confusion. He didn’t even notice the construction manager was still talking.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take it up with Tommy.” He said while waving him off and answering his phone. “Hello.”
“Mr. Miller.”
“Yeah.”
“This is Elizabeth, (Y/n)’s teacher. We need you to come to the school.” Joel immediately sighs, dragging his hand over his face.
“What’d she do?” He replies in an exhausted tone. He never gets calls from your schools unless it’s to let him know he needed to bring a change of clothes for you. All the preschoolers have to have an extra pair of clothes that’s to be kept in the classroom just in case the kids have an accident or something. But you’ve been acting out a lot lately, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it was for something like that.
“It may be better for you to come up to the school so we can explain it to you face-to-face.” Joel didn’t like the way this was sounding. It was hard for him to pinpoint the emotion that was coming off her voice, which worried him more.
“Okay, I’m on my way.” He sighed while hanging up the phone. He walked over to Tommy who looks like he actually did tell the construction manager to shove it, going off the look on the of their faces. “Tommy, I need you to watch over everything here for a while.”
“What’s goin’ on?”
“That was (Y/n)’s school, they need me to go up there.”
“Is everything okay with bun’?”
“I don’t know her teacher wouldn’t tell me anything. I’m sure she’s fine, she probably just got into it with a kid in her class again.”
“Okay, call me when you find out what’s goin’ on.”
“I will. Alright I’m off, and make sure they actually do their job correctly this time.”
“I got it, go on.”
After that Joel made his way to the truck. Even though he says he’s sure she’s fine, he couldn’t help but worry about you. The tone of your teacher didn’t sound good at all. She sounded worried. And sad? Were you sick? He could deal with a common cold, but your teachers tone indicated something worse than that. And there has been a deadly virus going around the world, it hasn’t made it to America yet at least that’s what they’re telling everyone. But what if it has made it over seas? There’s no cure for it, and what if you had it? That couldn’t happen, to you or Sarah. He wouldn’t know what he would do if he lost one of you. No. Stop. That’s not going to happen. That would never happen. He hates when his mind gets like this, but as a single father the need to protect the two of you is the most important thing to him, and that makes him worry even more because that’s something he can’t ever fail at, and he doesn’t even want to think what’ll happen if he does.
He gets out of the truck and speed walks towards your classroom. He had gotten into his own head, but there’s something inside of him that’s telling him this is as serious as it feels.
“Mr. Miller.” He turns upon hearing his name being called, seeing your teacher standing in the doorway of the office.
“Where is she?” He asks as he makes his way to her. Once he got close enough he realized the tone in her voice wasn’t sadness, but pity? Why would she pity him, and where were you?
“She’s in the principals office. But! But before you go in we should probably explain what happened and why.” She said stopping him from brushing past her.
“What did she get into a fight with another kid or somethin’?” Joel ask impatiently.
“No-”
“Okay, then it can wait.” He moves to fast for her to stop and walks into the principals office to see you sitting in a chair with dried tear stain down your cheeks. He quickly kneeled in front of you gently grasping your hands in his.
“What’s wrong, babygirl. What happened?”
“I wanna go home.” You mumbled
“Ok, you want to tell me why?”
“Mr. Miller, we really need to talk to you.” The principal finally spoke up motioning to the officer hallway. He huffed as he stood up and followed the principal out, but not before he kissed your forehead and told you that he would be back.
“Okay, what’s so important that you had to drag me away from my daughter, who’s been crying? And why is she crying? I swear if that Richardson kid put her hands on her again-” He was annoyed with everyone at this point everyone besides you obviously, he just doesn’t understand why they couldn’t tell him while he comforted his daughter.
“We’re sorry, Mr. Miller. We just didn’t want to make her think that she was in trouble, we just got her to calm down.”
“So, she’s fine?”
“Physically, yes.”
“What? What does that mean?”
“Ms. Elizabeth?” The principal could he was getting upset so she found it best to let your teacher explain what happened.
“Mr. Miller.”
“Would y’all stop calling my damn name and actually tell what the hell’s going on with my daughter?
“Well (Y/n) has been in an agitated mood all day, but that’s not the problem. Uhm, the kids just got back from lunch about 30 to 40 minutes ago, and after they eat I usually let them have play time before I start their last lesson for the day before nap time. Today during play time (Y/n) had a little outburst.” Elizabeth knew she was beating around the bush, but that’s because she has heard this conversation happen many times with other teachers and parents and most often than not the parents don’t respond to well.
“Little outburst?”
“Well not really an outburst, but more of a meltdown. This is the special needs teacher, Ms. Thomson, and a friend of mine so I know what signs to look out for in a child. And (Y/n) has been showing these signs since the beginning of the year. They can be overlooked especially in girls and be seen as ‘normal’ and in a way it is. For her anyway.”
“What are you talking about? Signs for what?” Joel asked in frustrated tone.
Ms. Elizabeth look over at the special needs teacher to nervous to continue, and to make sure that she’s positive of (Y/n)’s condition. To which her friend responded with a nod.
“We think (Y/n) has autism. And before you say anything, the signs are all there. I’ve been watching her since her first day of becoming my student. And we highly recommend that she be tested.”
“What? She’s not autistic. I think I would know if my daughter had autism. Look at her, does she look autistic to you?”
“Autism doesn’t always have a look Mr. Miller, and just because she doesn’t have a physical disablement doesn’t mean she’ll be any less autistic than someone with one. That’s why we recommend getting her tested to find out how far she is on the spectrum.”
“You sound so sure that, that’s what it is. How did y’all come up with autism from her having a ‘meltdown’? And what do you mean by meltdown?”
“Well after I sent the kids to go off and begin playing I noticed (Y/n) hadn’t moved from the table, she just sat there, covering her ears with tears in her eyes. She had been in that position since they came back from lunch. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me the other kids were being too loud. But before I could offer a solution the students behind us started screaming louder than what they were, which triggered somewhat of chain reaction with the rest of the class, so I turned around make sure everything was ok but when I that’s when (Y/n) ran to the bathroom and locked herself in. I had to send the other kids to sit in a classroom with another teacher. (Y/n) was crying. Sobbing. When I unlocked the door she was sitting in the corner squeezing the sides of her head so hard it looked painful. All to try and block out the world because it was too much for her. It broke my heart to see her like that because (Y/n) is sweetest little girl I’ve ever met, and to see her in pain like, any child, it’s a hard thing to see. I had to wrestle with her a little to keep her from hurting herself, but I was able to get her calm enough to sit her in my lap and have her hold onto me while I called Ms. Thomson, who was able to calm her further until she reassociated with everything around her.
“Pain?” That’s when the special needs teacher finally decided to step in and say something.
“It’s called a sensory overload, Mr. Miller. It’s very common in the Autism Spectrum. It’s when someone on the spectrum becomes to overwhelmed with the world around them, and if they can’t find some kind of outlet from everything more than likely it’s going to cause a break down in one way or another.”
“That doesn’t mean she’s autistic-“
“Mr. Miller. Does (Y/n) walk on her tippy toes?
“Yeah, but all babies do that.”
“How does she act when she is in a large crowd or around someone she doesn’t know.” Ms. Thomson was completely calm while asking these questions. Knowing that getting agitated or saying something wrong could keep you from getting the help you need.
“The same as any other kid.”
“Does she get in mood where she doesn’t want to talk or just can’t talk in general?”
“Ok look, you’re only naming things all kids do.”
“Yes, but like every thing else on the spectrum there’s a line where it occurs more than it should. Let me ask you one more question Mr. Miller.
He doesn’t even reply he only took a breath to let her know he didn’t want to talk about the topic anymore. Still in denial, even after everything they just told him.
“Does she tend to twitch, or repeat her movements? Have you ever seen her stiffen or strain her body?” Joel didn’t even reply.
“Your silence speaks volumes Mr. Miller. Please, get her tested. It will help her make it in a society that wasn’t made for her. Giving her benefits she can use to even the playing field with neurotypicals. Don’t you think she deserves that?” Joel really didn’t want to accept this. Knowing that if you are autistic, you’ll face more difficulties in life. All because you were different. Difficulties you’re already facing, he just didn’t want to admit it.
“What do I need do to get her tested?” Joel asked after his little debate. All he can hope that the test comes out as negative, but that’s a long shot, given the special needs teacher already seems so sure, the test was just to confirm it.
Ms. Thomson who was smiling after hearing his agreement answered him. “Nothing, I already have an appointment set up for her with a neurodevelopmental pediatrician, who is also a good friend of mine. So, as soon as she finishes with the evaluation you will get the results. I just needed your approval.”
“Okay. Uh, thank you.”
“No problem.”
“Is it ok if I take her home?” Joel ask looking towards your teacher.
“Yes, I think that’s the best thing for her right now. Being in her safe space with all her things will help her get some much needed rest. I will write down the appointment information and what you’ll need for the evaluation and put it in her backpack for you.”
“Thank you.” After that Joel walked back into the office to see you playing with one of the pens on the principals desk in one hand and your head laying on top of the other. “Hey babygirl. You want to go home?” He asked as he kneeled in front of the chair, while making sure to keep his voice at a low level. Once you nodded he stood up, gently grabbed your hand, and the two of you went to get your bag and appointment information.
Tumblr media
January 20, 2003 - 1:00 p.m.
Joel and Tommy were on their lunch break at a burger place when Joel’s phone started ringing. He cleaned his hands and took his phone out it’s carrying case before answering. “Hello?”
“Is this Joel Miller?” A woman’s voice.
“Yeah?”
“Oh, good. This is Tonia, the neurodevelopmental pediatrician that did (Y/n)’s evaluation.”
“Right, so what were the results?”
“Well, the documents are ready for you to come and get them, and I will break everything down once you get here, if you want.”
“Uhhhh yeah, I’ll be there in about 20-25 minutes.”
“Ok, see you then. Bye bye.”
“Bye. Get up Tommy, we gotta go.”
“I’m still eatin’”
“Tommy, bring it with you. Jesus.” Joel mumbled as he rolled his eyes at his younger brother.
They made it to the building, and Joel was doing his best to remember the way to the correct office while also trying to calm his anxious mind. When they made it to the office, Joel knocked on the door frame of the open door before walking in Tonia’s office.
“Here you go.” She said as she handed the papers to Joel who noticed it was about 15 pages.
“Wha-what am I looking at?” He asked looking up at the pediatric who let out a low chuckle, she gets the same reaction from almost all of the parents she encounters.
“Well first things first, I’ve concluded (Y/n) does have ASD. She is what we call a high-functioning autistic, and I came up with that diagnosis based on her teacher’s observations, your own, and from the activities I had her to do. The evaluation explains everything of what that means in detail like her sensitivity to sounds, her not liking to touch certain things, lack of social skills, etcétera.”
“So, what does this mean for her?”
“Well, she can stay in Ms. Elizabeth’s class, there’s no need to move her to the special needs class permanently. But she does have special education, and all that means is that Ms. Thomson will take her in her classroom to help her find ways to calm herself when she feels herself getting overstimulated. Or if she can’t and Ms. Elizabeth sees she is getting overwhelmed or she tells Ms. Elizabeth she’s getting overwhelmed they’ll send her to Ms. Thomson class or a quiet place for her to calm down. And maybe she’ll even have better luck with making friends in the special needs classroom than she does in her regular class. And education wise it means when she gets test she can go to a different classroom to take it and she’ll be able receive more time on any tests she has to take as well.” She looked up from her notes, making sure she got all the main checkpoints, but when she did Joel’s face told her everything she needed to know.
“Mr. Miller, the worst thing you can do for her is to feel bad for her. There’s no reason too.”
“No reason to? The whole point of this was to make sure she gets the help she needs to keep up with everyone else.”
“No, the reason for this was to make sure she had the help if and when she needs it. Academically (Y/n) is one of the smartest kids in her class, actually in her grade. It might take more effort, but she’s keeping up with her classmates. Some of the worst things you can do is pity her, hold her back due to being overprotective, or use it as an excuse to make her seem more fragile. I’m not saying she’s not going to have challenges because she is, but all you have to do is stay beside and make sure she keeps working at it till she gets it. And stay way from describing her condition as ‘slow’ or ‘retarded’. And you can’t punish her because of her stimming or overstimulated behavior. Not saying that you would! I mean- you just wouldn’t believe how many parents would get agitated and angry about things their child can’t control, but I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’re attentive to her, and that’s something she’s going to need from you growing up.” Joel nodded in understanding still skimming through the evaluation packet.
“Thank you for doing this in such short notice.”
“No problem. She’s one of the sweetest kids I’ve met. And cutest.” That caused a smile to appear on Joel’s face. He hasn’t been able to smile much since Thursday, always thinking about you and the whole situation. Which has been weighing on his mind literally 24/7.
“Thank you for this, you have a nice day.” He said before turning around to leave out the office.
“You as well.” She replied also smiling at Tommy, who smiled and winked back, reaching his goal of getting her to laugh.
Tumblr media
Joel barely made through the door before Sarah hit him with a “what’d she say?”
“Uhhh- where’s (Y/n)? And how’d you know she called?”
“She called the house phone first. And (Y/n) is upstairs, I just got her out the tub, which she didn’t like, at all.”
“She didn’t want to get out?”
“No, she didn’t want to get in. But she should be finished putting on her pajamas by now.”
“Ok, go get her and I’ll tell y’all the results.”
“Ok.” Sarah ran upstairs to get you, when you both got down stairs and sat on the couch, Sarah sat on the right side of Joel, and he picked you up and sat you on his lap tucking you into his side.
“How was school today, honey.” Joel turning his head towards you.
“Good. Ms. Elizabeth gave me headphones to put on my ears when everything got too loud again.”
“Did she? That was real nice of her.”
“Yeah. How was your day, daddy?”
“It was really good, babygirl. Thank you for asking.” The smile you gave him made his whole day. He thought back to what the pediatrician said about not pitying you because that’s not something you need from him. Looking at you now he realized she was right. He’s going to do his best to give you what you need. Whatever it may be, and he knows you’re going to grow into a smart and beautiful woman. He reached down and kissed your temple getting laugh out of you, a sound he would never get tired of.
Joel turned his towards Sarah, about to ask her how her day went stopped him before he started.
“My day was fine, the same. What did she say?” Joel paused for a second before he chuckled at her before pointing to the where he sat the evaluation.
“That’s the paper, she gave me that explains everything.” He blinked and Sarah had the papers in her hand, while she started reading he turned back to you to explain everything to you somehow.
“Ok babygirl. Do you remember test you had to take with the lady a few days ago?” After you nodded he continued. “You remember she told you it’s going let us know if you think differently than everybody else?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, it turns out you do.”
“Is that bad?”
“No! No, no, no. It’s not bad at all, and don’t let anyone tell you that it is. Ok?”
“Ok.”’
“All it means is some things may be a little harder or more overwhelming to you than other people, but it also means better at other things too.”
“Like what?”
“Like being artistic, and solving puzzles. But it also means you can be smarter than others in your class. You may have to learn some things in a different way, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be smarter. You already are. Ms. Elizabeth told me you were one of the smartest people in your grade.”
“She did!?”
“She did.”
“Wow.” You whispered in awe.
“Yeah, that’s a big deal, and daddy is so proud of you. You remember that, ok? No matter how big you get.”
“I promise, daddy.”
“Good. I love you babygirl.” He said, pressing another kiss to your temple.
“I love you too, daddy.” You said placing a kiss on his cheek.
“Awwwww, that’s so sweet. What are we eating for dinner? I’m hungry.” Sarah interrupted and Joel huffed out a laughed placing a quick kiss on her temple as well.
“I’m proud of you too baby.”
“I know, dad.” She said softly smiling.
“How about we go out for dinner? I really don’t feel like cookin’.”
“Fine with me. Come on (Y/n), let’s go put some clothes on.”
“Okay!” You said as you jumped up from Joel’s lap and ran off to catch up to your big sister.
Tumblr media
A/n: Long story short the story was too long🤭🙇‍♀️😭 so I decided to split it into two parts. I hope you guys enjoy, sorry I took so long. But I love you guys for being patient, I really appreciate it.
208 notes · View notes
ordowrites · 17 days
Text
wants, desires
cw: afab reader (pronouns not used), slight not sfw content, mentions of masturbation (m), mentions of oral (f. receiving), mdni, minors do not interact, pining, yearning, fantasizing, self indulgent. slight fluff. no established relationship. slow burn. the reader is not the Traveler, the reader is a Vision user. slightly ooc. fade to black.
word count: 2,781
diluc month!!! i love this man and i wish to squish his cheeks between my hands. tbh for as much as i love to imagine him suave, i feel like he's the type to long and pine before awkwardly try to romance someone. i'm sorry for the length of this fic, i got carried away.
Tumblr media
Diluc is a gentleman, he is known for his polite way of talking, and perhaps his standoff-ish personality but he is, all around, a gentleman. Raised in nobility, Diluc was taught how to behave and act accordingly, even if he found some of the rules to be stifling. He remembers his father once telling him that there are even proper and acceptable way to court someone (man or woman, so long as he did it properly, it would be alright).
He never listened to those rules much because he always figured he wouldn't need to court someone, after all, arranged marriages were still very common and everyone had assumed he and Jean would be marrying each other (until she turned down his spur of the moment marriage proposal with a polite smile and multiple apologies). After his father died, Diluc had decided that his life was too dangerous to bring someone else into it. Nobody has seen the hell he'd seen and he wishes to keep it that way.
Until you came into the picture, your smile rivaling the sun and your laugh infectious. You came here from Fontaine, is what you explained, showing your encased Vision. You worked for The Steambird for awhile but decided to move back to your late parents home nation of Mondstadt, because your father had always spoke so wistfully of it. So, you'd quit your nice and cushy reporter job and joined the Adventurer's Guild and are now able to work at its branch in Mondstadt.
He'd memorized every detail you shared with him, because you were just so fascinating to him. Diluc hated the way Kaeya's arm slung around your shoulders as if the two of you have been buddies your entire lives. Rosaria barely graces you with attention, simply electing to enjoy her drink with two extroverts intent on disrupting her peaceful night. You do not care for any rude putdown, allowing it all to roll off your shoulders.
When Kaeya becomes too drunk - supposedly - to carry on a decent conversation with you, Diluc picks up the slack. It's awkward and uncomfortable at first. Your name is sweet in his mouth, he tastes it and swirls it around some and fears that if he speaks it, he may taint it.
Interacting with you was a different level for him, it was strange because you were the first one in his life to make him lose his footing, make him lose his breath, and make him nervous. But not in the same way Adelinde makes him nervous when she places her hands on his hips and gives him a disapproving stare when he tracks blood and mud on her clean floors, not in the way Jean makes him nervous when she challenges some of his more intense ideals. This nervous was different, like if he messes up, that's it. His words are carefully chosen, he practices your name every morning, trying to get used to saying it in hopes that if he sees you around, he can call out to you like it's a normal, every day occurance.
And he does see you around sometimes, in the green uniform assigned by the Adventurer's Guild (truly, you would look much better in the clothes he could provide if you were his-) but you're always too busy to stop and engage in conversation. This does not stop you from waving at him, acknowledging his presence when he accidentally stops and stares for a little bit too long. Sometimes he gawks like a teenage boy and he can't help himself.
Diluc is a gentleman, he knows better than to have thoughts about you - it feels wrong when you creep into his mind too late at night and leave him wanting. His hand around his cock, his fingers working quick as he guiltily thinks what you might look like undone because of him. Wonders what you might taste like, how your legs would quiver around his shoulders while his tongue laps hungrily at your folds, and wonders what you'd sound like when you call out his name in desperation.
When those nights happen, he can't even look at you in the eyes when he sees you next. Diluc knows all of this is normal, but it doesn't feel normal for him.
He has your favorite drink memorized - you aren't a heavy drinker, alcohol wasn't much of a thing in Fontaine unlike coffee and tea. So, always one drink, nothing heavy, but it you like it sweet and fruity. Unlike Kaeya, he lets you have a free drink every once in awhile, tries to relish in the way you look at him with wide eyes and a bright smile. Tries to ignore the way his heart pounds and his breath quickens when you thank him. (You could ask him for the entire world and he will try to get it for you)
Diluc tries to recall all the lessons his father gave him on romance and dating, realizes that many of those lessons are a bit outdated and perhaps, would not work on someone like you. He considers asking Adelinde before deciding that he didn't want the third degree from his head housemaid (who is more like a mother to him).
So, he elects to watch you from afar - learn your likes and dislikes because talking to you is somehow harder than fighting a Mirror Maiden or being involved with a particularly difficult business partner.
And it dawns on him how stupidly mundane and normal it is to have a crush on someone. Diluc wasn't ever sure he was capable of normal. He can't do things normally and he's come to accept this at some point.
By some happenstance, he learns of your favorite flower and orders a bunch of them to be sent to you - anonymously, of course. Although, he wishes he could have your attention when they arrive at your doorstep from Fontaine, wondering if you're happy to receive them or not.
"Someone sent me flowers," you mention to him, one evening. Lately, you've been coming around more and more without Kaeya with you. You've made your own little group of friends here, easily fitting right in and he always tries to imagine where his place would be in your group of friends and it always spirals to him as your partner, your beloved. Your husband. "The note that came with it was very sweet, but I wish that it wasn't anonymous so I could thank them. I've been missing Fontaine recently."
Diluc swallows the lump in his throat, clears his throat - a strange nervous habit he has.
"Would that not take the romance out of it?" When you give him a strange look, he feels his face grow a bit hot. "I mean, I hear some of the maids talk about how they'd love to have a secret admirer, something about it being more romantic."
"Master Diluc," you gasp. "Are you, perhaps, a secret fan of romance novels?"
"Did I not just tell you I only hear these things from the maids?"
You smile a bit. "You're hard to tease, you know that?"
"My apologies." You blink, confused and he clears his throat again. "So, who do you think might have sent you those flowers?"
You open your mouth to say something, possibly another teasing comment before deciding against it. "I'm not sure," you admit. "I don't often have romantic entanglements. I had one partner back in Fontaine and it ended up as a disaster. We were colleagues and it was so stupid." You sigh. "He was never the type to buy me flowers."
Diluc makes note that he will spoil you proper with flowers when you become his.
Tumblr media
After a few weeks, he orders you another batch of flowers - this time a mix of your favorite and another common flower from Fontaine. Rainbow Rose, pretty pink roses that he pictures would liven up the manor, and be in abundance at the wedding the two of you could have.
No, he has to tell himself. You can't get that far.
"What is on your mind tonight?" Diluc asks as he makes your favorite drink. You look at him, as if trying to read him. "That secret admirer of yours again?"
"Yeah. Flowers, again." You say. "No note this time, which is disappointing." You rub your forehead. "Master Diluc, what would you do if you have the feeling some anonymous person was trying to court you?" Diluc gets the feeling you're fishing for answers.
"That has never been a concern of mine." He tells you. "Most women who try to catch my attention are never discreet about it."
"You make it sound like that's the worst possible thing in the world."
"If they were not doing this simply so their fathers could secure a better business deal with the Dawn Winery, I suppose I wouldn't mind it." He doesn't dislike it but none of those women ever really hold his attention, although he's entertained a few of them in his time, the courting never went beyond a few meetings before they'd decide he just wasn't for them.
"You don't strike me as the type to like being given that kind of attention," you admit. "Ever the evasive and strange Master Diluc. Perhaps I have you pegged all wrong."
"Oh?"
"Mm," you say as you take a sip of your drink. "Rich men tend to throw their money and power around to garner themselves a romantic partner. Honestly, it's gross."
"Well, I have never seen the point in doing so." Diluc answers, bluntly, feeling a bit insulted you'd even thought of him that way. "So tell me, then, how do you like to be courted?"
"Well, for starters, as lovely as the secret admirer thing is, I prefer if someone can actually tell me if they have feelings for me," you inform him. "Anonymous flowers once is nice, twice will have me wondering if they even respect my time."
"Ah - would you like other gifts then?"
"No - well, I don't - ugh, that's hard to answer." You push your hair back and he loves the way it falls around your face. He loves that, even though you don't get drunk, you can get a bit more relaxed and looser with your words as you drink. "I mean, I'd like if the person who is...trying to court me as you say, would just tell me and do it properly."
"I see."
"Have you never been in a romantic relationship before, Master Diluc?" Maybe you do know and he should come clean. He swallows, Adam's apple bobbling.
Once, he thinks. Jean and I had this whole fake wedding when we were kids. But that doesn't count.
"Not really, no."
"Oh."
In this moment, he desires to lean over the counter and kiss you. See what you taste like with remnants of that fruity drink on your lips, if you would get angry or if you would lean into the kiss. He desires for his hands to wander, for you to invite him to touch you even further -
"Aw, drinking without me, my delightful friend?"
"Evening, Captain."
"Kaeya."
Tumblr media
Diluc is a gentleman, and he is quite the heartbreaker, he knows this. He'd sent many noble women crying by accident - rejection hurts or his indifference is worse. Adelinde would scold him many times for it, reminding him that he should still be considerate of their feelings. But it's never his fault that they get upset for being told he's not interested.
With you, he has fantasized about kissing you, dramatic love confessions (because apparently those are a thing in romance novels from what he's heard Hillie and Mocco say as they worked), or just simply telling you, but it feels wrong to simply confess.
This pining is getting him nowhere, and he worries about sending you more flowers and earning your ire instead.
So, at the advice of Adelinde - after he tried to lamely claim it was Kaeya who was looking for the advice - he starts to write you letters. Many, but none quite fit what he feels. He can give you all the flowery words in the world, but they are not succinct enough. Diluc isn't exactly the best at words, not like Kaeya, who can have both men and women swooning very quickly. He's always held the attention and engagement of crowds and Diluc finds himself envious of that.
Finally, he elects to do something so stupidly simple.
He writes you a letter in the dead of night, exhausted from a days work, requesting if he could court you properly this time around. And he sends it.
Because of course he did.
Because that's what a proper gentleman should do, right?
Tumblr media
You are late for your weekly visit to his tavern, and Diluc finds himself wishing he had Charles manning the bar tonight instead of him. Though why should he be acting like a lovesick schoolboy? He is a grown man.
An hour goes by, and you're not in your usual spot and he fears he may have driven you off with that letter that never should have been sent in the first place.
When you do finally arrive, it's an hour before closing and you look beat. But your smile, when you see him, is still as radiant as the sun (though perhaps that's him imagining things, he doesn't know anymore).
"You're...late." Diluc observes as you half slump in your seat, bag dropping to your side. "Are you okay?" Perhaps you haven't read his letter and that's why everything is almost relatively normal.
"I'm okay," you finally answer as he starts to make your drink. "Sorry I'm here an hour before you close, it's been a long day."
He sets the glass down in front of you. "Do you wish to talk about it?"
"Tsarvitch is such an asshole," you grumble. "Tsarvitch? More like Tsarbitch."
"Yes, I hear he can be a bit difficult." You lapse into a silence, watching him. "Do you wish to talk about something else?" You reach down, grabbing your bag and pulling out an envelope with the Winery's wax seal in blue. He has to look away.
"I received this letter from the Dawn Winery," you tell him, pointing to the blue wax seal and the return address. You pull the letter out of the envelope, and it's clear you've read it multiple times since he sent it a week ago. "From someone asking if they could properly court me." He doesn't want to look at the contents of that letter, he was deliriously tired when he wrote it. "Who, at the Dawn Winery, could have sent this?"
"I'm-"
"How come you didn't sign your name?" Diluc can't answer that. He doesn't remember what was going through his head. "My answer, though, Master Diluc, is yes. You can properly court me."
His heart pounds in his chest as he meets your eyes. Of course, the answer was so simple - Archons, why couldn't he have done this in the first place? A few whole months wasted, when he could have spent it with you in his arms.
"Are you sure? I'm-"
"I'm sure." You interrupt. It's not often someone of nobility seeks to date someone who is not a noble, but he can't help it. Diluc just hopes that they won't eat you alive, though he has a feeling you can handle your own when it comes to the more judgmental types. He may have to protect them from you.
"In that case," Diluc says, hoping he won't scare you away. "May I kiss you?"
"Always."
He delights in your answer, moving to step outside of the counter so the damn thing isn't in his way so he can fully and properly enjoy you. He cups your face between his hands, bending down some and pressing your lips together. Soft, sweet - Diluc is a selfish man sometimes and he longs for more when you break away.
You whisper something as he pulls you back in for another kiss. Your hands wrap around his shoulders and entangle in his hair. A small part of him longs to lift you up and take you on the counter, but he needs to take this slow. He is a gentleman after all, properly court before bringing you to bed with him.
Yet, you refuse to let the kiss end this time around, chasing after him.
"I want you," you whisper. "Diluc."
"No dinner first?"
"Ugh, you can make me breakfast instead." That was all he needed for him to quickly close down the tavern. Diluc is a gentleman after all, and it'd be rude to keep you waiting.
146 notes · View notes
kairiscorner · 9 months
Text
happy birthday — miles 1610 x reader (birthday special)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
↳ summary: miles never gets a day off from being spider man, which causes him to lose track of a lot of things, even his own special day. luckily, he has the sweetest partner in the world to help him remember and celebrate. ↳ word count: 1,536 ↳ a/n: i did not realize it was my son's birthday on the third, i'm so sorry it's late SJEBCBFIVBRFVBRBVVRBO BUT I HOPE THIS IS GOOD ENOUGH TO MAKE UP FOR IT, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY BOYYYY AND I HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE THIS <333
Tumblr media
and he does it again, spider man saves the city from more mutated villains! ...and is currently late for biology class. miles hurries out of the scene and swings over to a less noisy block in city to messily change out of his spider suit and back in his school uniform. the day was jam-packed with so many goings-on for the boy and his workload as both a superhero, student, and son are piling up into one big mountain of work for him.
though he's not one to forget easily, a few things escape his mind without him realizing it. he's been in a rush for too many things too fast, he can't keep up with all the demands quickly. you were worried about miles trying to please everyone and do his part, however you knew very well a lot of what he's doing is beyond his responsibility as being miles morales, resident artsy nerd; though you couldn't blame him, being spider man was a full-time job he couldn't just up and quit.
you would get worried often when he'd reply late, he used to reply so quickly to your messages. his texts nowadays don't go without a crying kaomoji with apologies in such expressive all caps. he sometimes forgets some of the promises he makes you since he's out fulfilling so many others from other people, many of which he isn't familiar with, but hey, it's all in a day in the life of being spider man. he really hates how forgetful he's becoming, since he's so busy nowadays, he even forgets what day of the week it is; he's sometimes stuck in last week and remembers all too late what day it is.
but today was important, you knew very well. it was an important day to you and for miles himself, though he didn't realize it, he was too caught up in saving and helping people that he forgot the very day he was waiting for this year with you. though today, you weren't going to let it slip away from him. you called up ganke and convinced him to help you out with organizing your surprise for miles. you two went over to miles' house and, with the help of his parents, cooked up a delicious dinner for him and decorated the place in a simple, yet incredibly meaningful way.
you didn't see miles all day at school since he was catching up with homework and classes that he missed as spider man. his parents didn't know yet, which was how he was still able to get a gift from them, but as one of your gifts for miles that day, you slipped in his locker some copies of your homework and answers to a couple of tests from subjects you two shared. you were his lifesaver, and miles could not express enough thanks to you. he wanted to make up for all the time he couldn't spend with you tonight, though when he finished his rounds as spider man and went over to your place, he found your room empty. he knocked on your front door, but nobody was home.
miles found it really odd, so he tried calling your cell, but you didn't answer either. you instead texted him back, saying you were at one of your friends' place studying for an upcoming quiz. miles sighed but texted you back saying he understood and wished you luck on that quiz. he swung back home and changed again to not raise any suspicions from his parents, though when he entered the front door...
"happy birthday, miles!"
he was taken aback by how not only his parents surprised him, but you and ganke were there, too. miles blinked in confusion, then, disbelief; then when it registered to him the date today was the third of august, the date of his birthday... a smile had curled on his lips as he chuckled at himself. he forgot today was his own birthday! he mumbled questions, like how, when, where, why--you celebrated his birthday even when he couldn't be there for you when you two agreed to, multiple times.
miles felt a little ashamed in spite of the surprise and happiness he felt that you guys remembered his birthday in his stead, but you approached him, with your hands behind your back as you gazed up at him. "hey," you began as miles froze in place when he heard your kind voice. "oh, um... hey." he said awkwardly with a bashful smile as he tried playing it cool, not letting a hint of nervousness slip out of him, but instead releasing a tidal wave of nervousness come flooding out of him. "happy birthday, miles." you said as you handed him your gift to him. he raised his eyebrows as you handed him a thick box, wrapped in red wrapping paper with black accents, all tied up in a black bow.
"f-for me?" he stuttered out as you chuckled and nodded. "of course, birthday boy." "but... but i... i wasn't there for our dates and meet-ups like i promised..." he uttered as he looked down at your gift with guilt filling his voice. you rolled your eyes as you kept grinning at him. you lightly shook your head as you placed your hand on his cheek, bringing his eyes back up to level with your own. "and that's okay, you would've been there if you could, right? i know you have a lot on your plate, not a lot you can share the burdens and responsibilities with, and i... i get it. you can't quit, and i'm glad you save lives before thinking about yourself, but... today's about you, miles. we can make up for the missed dates and meet-ups once life's a lot less chaotic. i'm willing to wait forever for that peace and quiet." you told him with a sweet voice as you leaned over and pecked at his cheek.
miles got flustered immediately as you kissed him, as every word you uttered sank into his heart, filling it up with even more love and adoration for you, he smiled widely and wrapped you in a big hug. "man... i love you so much. i promise i'll do whatever it takes to give us that peace and quiet you deserve." "we deserve, ya dummy." he chuckled at your correction. "right, right, that we deserve." he said as he pulled away and with you encouraging him to open your gift. you called ganke and his parents over as he began to unwrap your gift.
miles had gasped in excitement and utter shock as he unwrapped the gift, you got him the pair of shoes he had been saving up to buy. he had set the gift aside gently and covered his mouth, smiling as he gasped and kept repeating 'no way!' as he jumped up in glee out of excitement. his mother jokingly told you not to have bought him those shoes because they kinda stole his parents' thunder with their gift for him, but she was so happy to know you knew their son well to gift him the one thing he's always asked for.
ganke was filming the whole time, making commentary on how adorable and dorky miles looked right now, and as miles rushed over to you and thanked you endlessly as he held the shoe box in his right hand and your cheek in the left, he couldn't stop giggling and kissed you all over. "hey nerds! how 'bout you two kiss for the camera, huh? the night's young, live it! kiss! kiss! kiss!" ganke chanted as miles' parents side-eyed each other at the notion. miles was a little hesitant since his parents were in the room, but you certainly didn't care anymore.
you gently grabbed hold of miles' collar and gently, you pressed your lips against his. his mother cried out in spanish as his father chuckled and exclaimed "that's my son right there!" miles was flustered and embarrassed at your boldness, but he didn't want to pull away so quickly. he held the back of your head and gently kissed you back. ganke and his father cheered for you both as his mother retreated to get a glass of wine and kept repeating how you two could've just done it up in miles' room!
"this... is the best birthday ever..." miles hushed as you wrapped your arms around his neck. equally flustered and embarrassed, you stared into his eyes as he grinned and chuckled up at you. "even with your parents watching me kiss you, and ganke capturing all this, probably never gonna let us live it down...?" you asked him as he pecked your lips with another quick kiss and pulled away. "definitely." he replied as you leaned over and kissed him again. it was certainly a birthday to remember, and miles promises that he'll earn back all the days you've spent waiting for him and for the gift you got him. though the gift miles had wanted all this time... was nothing more than to be with you, be with you as he turned another year older, and hopefully, celebrate many more birthdays with you, his dearest.
tags !! @k4tsu3 @fiannee @luvstarrstruck @toneystank-3000 @ii01vq @maxoloqy @solecitoszn @q2ie @zalayni @anikaluv
294 notes · View notes
himejoshikomaeda · 22 days
Text
i like that youtube has randomly started recommending videos with less than a thousand views on my home page, but sometimes it just makes me feel a really pronounced sadness seeing a person that doesn't have very many views on their youtube videos, even though most people on earth don't have very many views on their youtube videos (or youtube videos at all). i want you to succeed... i want you to find your audience...
i clicked on a person's channel that i found through this recommendation and there was a video where they were splitting a watermelon that had spoiled to let off steam after being scolded multiple times at work. and for some reason, it just made me sad. i wish that person's boss wouldn't scold them at work. it's mean to make people feel that way. everyone is trying... and jobs are really just... so terrible... so why make it worse? anyway, the watermelon wasn't even really in frame. but that's because they set up the camera by the watermelon after talking about their day. they couldn't see the frame, so they didn't know.
maybe "sadness" isn't the right word to describe how i feel when i get these little looks into strangers' lives, but it's close. it's more like... i'm taken by a sudden awareness that what i'm looking at is an animal. it's just an animal that wants to live. an animal that wants to be happy. an animal that deserves to be happy... in my opinion, happiness is the birthright of any living creature. we are brought into this world no matter whether we wanted to be or not, so shouldn't it at least be pleasant? animals are cute...
sometimes, a cynical part of my brain tries to say "well, you know, they could be transphobic or something" in a uselessly weird attempt at divorcing myself from the sadness i feel when i look into strangers' lives. like, see, you don't need to feel the inherent empathy of walking the same earth as this person, because they might hate you for something you can't control! wouldn't that be awful? ...but it doesn't work. why would it? in the first place, i don't want to live my life assuming that everyone i don't know hates me, just because it's common to hate me.
i hope things get better for that person. and for everyone else. it'd be nice if things just got better for everyone.
95 notes · View notes
jinlias · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
beso - rosé
– listen to ‘beso’ by rosalía and rauw alejandro!
i just need another kiss, one of those that you give me
roseanne was always in your head, whether it was her face, her voice, her laughter, or her lips, maybe even her touch. she was always. on your mind. today, it was her kisses you thought about. how your favorite moments with her somehow involved her laying on her side while u sat criss-cross in front of her.. always talking useless topics before she gets tired of pretending like she isn’t burning to touch you, feel you, taste you.
you kiss like you’ve always known how, like no one has had to teach you.
it’s always then she takes her cue to tangle her hand in your hair and pull you towards her lips, where yours dance against them. her teeth sinking into your lips every now and then so you would make those noises she loved so much.
most times than others all you did at night after a long and tiring day was just that. kissing with only the breaks to talk about something meaningless or inside jokes the two of you had. usually in the dark, sometimes out on your balcony. rosé had grown used to expressing many thoughts and feelings over them, and you had gotten used to understanding them.
being away from you is hell, being close to you is my peace. I love whenever you arrive, and I hate when you leave.
the hardest part was the wait. the wait to see her, to touch her, all while millions of people were seeing her and taking her in every day.
you were so proud of rosé, consider yourself her no.1 fan, but damn, do you wish she could be amazing and successful just a little closer to home.
you can’t lie and say you barely see her, but even with the many times one of you flies to the other, it’s not enough. time feels as if it’s being lost whenever you’re apart.
it’s a repeating cycle, the anticipation builds as the days lead to your reunion, either rosé picks you up at the airport or it’s you who’s waiting outside an hour prior to her flight landing, and then you have the best next couple of days and both of you will cry when it’s time to say goodbye.
“i hate this” you pout on the bed while she finishes packing her suitcase, taking advantage of her visit to refresh the contents of it.
“i know. i do too baby.”
“i hate when you have to go back.” you welcome her embrace, while she wraps her arms around your shoulders and her tummy welcomes the side of your face, her own cheek meeting the top of your head as she leans in search of proximity.
“i don’t think i have to be there tomorrow” she begins the swaying and the searching for excuses as to stay.
“rosie”
“yeah. lisa’s flying in two days, fuck that!” she giggles and pushes the two of you on the bed, a little too excited to be ghosting her job for two more days.
sometimes it works, as shown, sometimes either of you caves and does the impossible to prolong your stay in the arms of your lover.
it forces you to make the best of your time together, even if you’re laying together doing absolutely nothing other than stare into each other’s soul, you enjoy each other’s company so much you soon came to the conclusion you wouldn’t rather be anywhere else.
the best thing I've got, is the love you give to me. It smells of tobacco and melon.
unpacking after spending time with rosé or doing laundry in her absence have to be one of the most endearingly painful situations. endearing, because the musk of her cologne and the faint smell her clothes have gathered because of her cigarettes spring on you endless memories of you and her late at night smoking and talking shit about everyone you knew.
painful because it reminds you of how much you miss her. but you wouldn’t have it any other way. you adore rosé so much you look forward to talk to her even if it’s thirty minutes with as much privacy as the corner in her dance room can allow. she loves you to the point of taking spontaneous trips home whenever she has a break longer than two days, she won’t tell anyone, she will just disappear and her members and crew have to trust she gets to the next destination in time, because she won’t answer any sort of text or call unless someone was dying.
you’ll hold on to the clothes she wore on her last day home until the scent fades completely, hating the infinite battle you had with sleep when she wasn’t there with you. but slowly you overcome it, when she starts getting more of a vote over her career she tried to be home as much as she could, and if she couldn’t be then she would do anything to take you with her.
and it’s more kissing at night while stargazing and less yearning to be together after so long apart. it’s more of the sunday nights you spent either having dinner at a fancy restaurant in the city, or overlooking it from a hill with takeout from your favorite place.
i could tie heaven up, and give it to you entirely
329 notes · View notes