#but why am i getting euphoria from a freaking tv
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Hey, uh... See these guys here?
I don't know what their collective aesthetic is. Pinstripes of paralyzing power? Deviantart dandy? Fang-tastic?
Whatever it is, they are all very gender.
#hazbin hotel#gender euphoria#sir pentious#hazbin hotel vox#alastor#hazbin hotel lucifer#why do i vibe with them so much though???#character design#fabulous#chefs kiss#but why am i getting euphoria from a freaking tv
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Request Rules: if anyone would like to request, that is…
hi, me again. yeah, i’m not dead thank the lord and jesus (i’m not religious it’s just something i say). that hiatus didn’t last long. i mean, at least i tried. oh! and i guess i gotta make an updated ‘about me’ post because there’s something that i need to add that i’ve been sitting on and thinking about for a long long time. since wanting to be called that other name, i think. ANYWAYS, here are some rules;
1. please please before requesting, tell me if anything triggers you, what you do not want put in the oneshot.
2. okay say for example somebody wanted… idk, quicksilver fluff or something. please state which one and which fandom eg. fluff with pietro. i can never tell, i usually write for peter though, but i’m gonna try my best to also now write pietro.
3. after some considerations and thinking i have decided that since all ‘ahs’ characters are horrible in their own way that i will portray them as they are. horrible people. no more ‘awh look at the cutie they just ***** ******* ****** and ****** and then they ***** ***** *****’ NO! none of that. they’re all scumbags, end of. and i can recognise that.
4. if you would ever like an oc in your request, please tell me. i know for like ahs and xmen and all that it’s usually reader inserts which i don’t mind obviously. like go get ‘em, y/n! but if you would like an oc tell me. state their name and some features like hair and eye colour for example or if you want a randomised one, let me know 😉
5. ooh also i do sometimes base my fics off songs and / or incorporate songs into my fics so if you like that you can drop a song in your ask too :)
6. NO MORE SMUT ABOUT TATE LANGDON. am i clear? haha you thought i was being serious? no way! i’m still gonna write it and if someone has a problem with that, tell me.
now i will list the fandoms i write for below:
• marvel
(i will admit i haven’t seen every marvel movie 🫣🫢)
• xmen
• euphoria
• r*verdale (i know i know, but i love toni and kevin! also i have not watched season 5)
• thirteen reasons why
(not hannah)
• harry potter franchise, including the fan made; voldemort: origins of the heir. because mattheo riddle 🤭🫠
• the days, kick ass, never back down, basically everything evan peters is in
• reality tv, to some extent
• midsommar (pelle is freaking adorable, dude) and hereditary
• stranger things
• american horror story (again admitting something here, i don’t remember if i watched all of 1984 or not and i forget almost everything that happened in roanoke)
happy monday and happy requesting!!
another thing before i finish this post; i am working on myself and my mental well-being and health behind the scenes so it could take a few days to get to every request. also, everything from my inbox disappeared except like two things, so if i haven’t gotten to yours i’m so sorry, please send it in again if you would like to
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I guess I can liveblog me watching the premiere of Genera+ion and I'll be honest im only watching this because Justice is in it haha.
Genera+ion Ep.1 liveblog
This is rated TV-MA so watch at your own discretion.
Spoilers below as always
I'm glad this girl is wanting to call 911 which tbh she should of just called 911.
Chester:
Hi Chester this is cute but that would have been a dress code violation. Well at least this is realistic because he is getting a dress code write up.
I dont know how high-schools do this now but they had a bin of alternative clothing aka old school merchandise and extra gym clothes for you to change in.
This is semi realistic to how kids would talk to teachers in high-school aka not knowing the concept of boundaries.
Chester and Jules Vaughn would get along if only to steal eachothers clothes.
Oh he plays sports and is popular.....
Yea my alma mater high-school would have been like heres another violation because Chester is just walking around on school grounds like this:
Nooooooo please not another student/teacher relationship brewing. I hope this ends up just with Chester having a crush that isn't reciprocated but he learns and grows from it. I thought teacher student relationships were messy and gross even when I was in high school with a teacher crush.
Oh he's sad and alone but is super popular.
Wait Nathan is really at this party and is real and they are going to meet.
Yea thats not something to joke about Chester, even if it was like some repressed just sad phrase that sparks concern in a lot of people.
Who was that girl?
Who is this girl?
Where's Nathan? Uh what is going on? This is weird. (The setup of this conversation and the writing of the coversation is just weird and feels like something that wouldn't happen.)
Greta:
Someone has a crush? Or maybe she just compares herself a lot to this other girl.
Ana seems so fun. Ay I love this kid lmfao he is playing video games in a wig.
Oh she is gay.
This is how arguments with teenagers sometimes go as an adult, you just stand there like huh while they blow off that hormonal anger.
Uhhhhh this girl is a homophobe with gay parents.
So these stories do move in tandem got it.
Her story is so short by comparison
Nathan
What the fuck kind of p**n is this damn kid watching? Hot dogs?
They are self censoring themselves in a arguments? Just dont cuss at your parents and then you won't have to yell because who the hecking first place told you etc. etc. This sterile ass family calendar, ew.
The sibling chemistry when these two are supposed to be buddy buddy siblings is so so dry. They don't even feel like siblings.
Hydroflask sksksks
Oh he was drawing on her arm the entire time what does it say.
They are bringing up the savior feminist person that every single generation has.. That person always brings stuff like this up in the wrong class like math.
So their relationship is sour already? Huh?
Oh there is a church in this school or is it just
A dick pic?
Uh why would she record that? That is fucking weird especially because she is his little sister and she was snooping. All of this because he took a pic of her?
What a bitch threatening to out him (Even as someone who was outted i really am tired of this storyline being told time and time again in regards to queerness. Also its usually always happening to very non femme white m_n), and she is really low key homophobic. No wonder she's friends with that other homophobe girl. Why does she care if he's gay.
What high-school student is listening to Jessie Ware at a house party?
This is why he was freaking out? Because he got a little cum in his eye. Weird as fuck.
OH thats his sisters boyfriend's cum, oof. But who sleeps with their siblings brother? Especially a sibling that they were super close with? Revenge? For what?
Does he like this girl too and that guy since he's apparently bi.
This writing of this show is again sigh.
Oh it was her house party, why the fuck would he write that on his friend fucking weird. Me and my friends wrote on eachothers arms in high-school but it was drawings of pigeons and gloomy bear sometimes song lyrics. He wrote property of.....that's weird as hell.
Who is she i wanna know more about her?
And its over.
Overall: for a pilot this is meh very very lackluster, which is a bad sign for a pilot. There is little that makes this show special to me from the first episode. Which special can come from a lot of things but this episode did not have that special thing. I am going to watch the other two uploaded episodes to get a better idea of the show. I do think this show is much more realistic than a lot of other teen dramas. In terms of the scenarios happening are more palatable and the moments of 2nd hand embarrassment are realistic. Those moments thats are supposed to be funny or give you a chuckle feel very dry. In general the writing is......
I do think people who are adverse to programs like Skins and Euphoria (which euphoria is realistic but has dramatics and is very in your face about heavy topics) will enjoy this. This reminds me of shows like Degrassi and Grand Army with a bit more "grit" and not as graphic as other teen shows. Warning there is still some mentions, alluding to, and depictions of sexual encounters and p**n. If anyone else watched or watches this show im interested in your thoughts.
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⊱┊14
i awake to footsteps rushing up and down the staircase, the kind where you're late for something. not only does that tell me that it's morning time, but the fact that there's blinding sunlight shining through the thinnest crack in the curtains where both sides meet in the centre.
kayrem's sleeping on his stomach, all sprawled out. his pale back with beauty marks sprinkled all over makes me weak, but his ash brown hair brings me back to my senses; it ain't fucking ink black!
"kayrem, you gotta wake up."
he needs to get the fuck out, like, now.
"mmm, marie.." he mumbles, rolling over so that he's facing me, "a little while longer.."
"no, kayrem."
he mumbles again, pulling the covers over himself as a refusal, but this action also removes if off me.
"shit! don't look! don't look!" i quickly grab the covers again.
he literally laughs in his half~asleep state.
"so not funny," i mutter, flustered.
"i don't know why you're freaking out," he murmurs nonchalantly. "i was in you last night, marie."
the heat instantly rushes to my cheeks. some part of me wished he had forgotten, that we both had forgotten. i don't regret it, but it's more like a weird feeling. i feel out of place. a puzzle piece that one tries to fit in the incorrect template. i feel...wrong.
"mum and dad are awake. they'll notice that you're missing from your room."
no answer.
"kayrem, get up, please," i urge.
no answer again.
guys after sex are so lazy.
i decide to get up first.
"cupcake, stay with me," kayrem grumbles, gripping my arm. "i like it when you're next to me..." the libido in his morning voice taunts me.
i clear my throat and wriggle free from his weak hold.
-ˋˏ ༻🥂༺ ˎˊ-
i'm on literally house arrest, my brother as my stupid babysitter! i’m hoisted up on the kitchen's wooden benchtop, watching tv on the other end of the room whilst munching on cereal.
our parents have gone off to finish the last of the reporters at the old house so we can move back in. maxi's at school, and kayrem...well, he's heading down the stairs ~ shirtless and in red flannel pj pants.
"morning, sunshine," kayrem smiles through his yawn.
"uh, mornin'," i purse my lips, hitting him with that co~worker smile.
he bites his bottom lip..seductively before going off to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. "how'd you sleep?" he stands across from me, twisting the cap open.
is that a trick question or something?
"f~fine."
i continue taking spoonfuls of cornflakes, making sure to focus my attention on the tele and not on him. for whatever reason, my gaze returns back to him. ugh! i absorb in his skinny but lean frame. he pretends that he doesn't notice me evidently checking him out. i think he likes the attention...
"warm today, ain't it?" he gazes out the windows.
"um, yeah!" i reply rather too upbeat which makes the situation even awkwarder! quickly, i follow his scan out the windows to cool down my fluster away from his judgment.
he chuckles under his breath.
"what are you doing?" i anxiously question his sudden presence right in front of me.
"spread your legs."
“what?"
he places his hand on my knee and another hand on the other knee before firmly spreading them apart, then he comes in between them and whispers, "i'm hungry."
the bowl trembles in my grip.
"…for some cereal," he clarifies nonchalantly, lifting up my spoon and collecting some cornflakes on it.
i internally relax.
instead of bringing the spoon to his mouth, he brings it to my mouth. "open," he touches the spoon to my lips.
i open my mouth and he feeds me the spoonful like a baby. i start to chew when kayrem leans in and envelopes his mouth over mine. it catches me so off guard that the bowl i'm holding tilts and a little bit of the milk pours over his abs. he doesn't care though, rather, he deepens the kiss.
"most delicious fucking cereal i've ever tasted, cupcake," he says between the kiss, eating the cornflakes right out of my mouth.
i set the bowl aside and drag him closer between my legs as we make out. my breathing elevates and a sense of intense lust gushes through me. i am so angry at myself, but it’s his fault. he knows just how to make sure i'm his whenever he wants me to be his.
"wait, stop, we shouldn't," i retract.
"you practically told me to rape you last night, and now you want to back out?"
"it wasn't like that!" i snap.
"sorry, but i don't break promises, sis," he uses my words against me. "now lean back," he instructs. "i want another taste..." he adds in a whisper.
i get soft again.
a button, a zipper and a tug later, kayrem has his mouth against the base of my underwear.
"kayrem..!”
he sucks my folds over the fabric and toys with my clit. all the windows are completely uncovered; anyone can practically see in. i catch a glimpse of a car going past, and like a reflex, i kick kayrem in the shoulder. he stumbles back, confused and infatuated.
"no," i tell him like i'm taming a dog.
another car goes past and he sees me looking at it nervously.
"who the fuck cares if anyone sees? i'm just enjoying breakfast. no crime in that, babysis.”
like a dog to a bone, he returns and drags my underwear down. he begins sucking..licking..probing..swallowing. he really knows how to…eat.
"mm..fuck," i grind into his face, creating more friction for myself. "you've..." i throw my head back, "got to..." i grab his hair, "stop,” i push him deeper into myself.
"moan for me, baby, moan for me."
"ahh, fuck, kayrem, f~faster..!"
giving his tongue a break, he rams two fingers into me and begins pumping in and out vigorously. i go from a molten lava cake that's been cut in half to an active volcano.
"w~what's happening to me..?!"
"it's okay," he takes a step back. "you're squirting."
"what?!" i throw my palms over my vag, stopping the gush. it feels like i'm peeing!
"marie, christ, you look so damn fuckable right now," he observes me with broad, broad eyes. "effing wish you were sitting on my face."
"i don’t squirt," i say angrily.
"hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of. guys dig that shit. you've actually made me a fuckload hornier."
"i'm not!" my eyes blur up.
"okay, okay," he quickly says. "it's okay, okay? i'll help you hide the evidence, cupcake," he smiles softly before reconnecting his lips with my wet folds, and just like that, he pumps my euphoria levels right back up.
"oh god, yesss," i scream. "oh my god!" i spot a familiar grey blob backing up into the driveway. "oh my goddd!"
kayrem continues.
"get off! get off!"
the car door shuts.
"get off!!!" i slap him hard on his back.
"ow!" he lifts his head up. "what the hell, marie?! you're so confusing!"
"mum's here!!"
keys dangle at the front door.
"what? she is?!" he glances out the window and sees her parked tesla. "oh fuck! fuck! what the fuck?! why the fuck?!"
i jump down, collect my pants and run behind the benchtop.
the door sways open.
"hey, mum!" i scream.
"jesus!" she holds a hand to her heart. "you startled me half to death, roséah."
"oops, aha! sorry, didn't mean to. um, why are you home?"
"forgot some important paperwork..." she answers me, looking around dubiously. her scan stops at kayrem as she watches him awkwardly eat the rest of what's actually called breakfast. "ahem, kayrem, please put on a shirt. you can't be walking around like that in front of your sister."
"oh," he looks at his chest, or past it, i can't tell. "uh..." and he faces me.
i shake my head at him questionably.
he gulps, licking his lips nervously.
"kayrem. shirt. now," mum dictates.
"right..mother..just.."
he's still staring at me in some code that i'm supposed to magically understand.
?!?!?!?!?
he glances at the fruit bowl which has a batch of bananas on the top.
so?
oh.
oh.
"this is bananas!" i scream again.
"jesus, roséah!" mum jumps in fright again. "what is with you?!"
"sorry," i cringe. "uh...would you like a banana?"
whilst her attention is fixed on me, kayrem slips away.
"no, and for the love of god, use your inside voice."
i nod, peeling up one for myself.
she leaves.
i roughly take a bite out of the fruit…yummy?
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You’re Alive, You’re Alive
Paring: Danny & Linda Reagan
Rating: M
Genre: romance, smut
She didn't know exactly where she was- somewhere in Manhattan, but she had no idea where. She had a feeling, a weird, strong feeling she needed to find someone- a man. She had no idea if she knew the man, but her gut and heart were screaming "find him!" She tried, asking around for him and getting now where since she couldn't produce a name or face or any sort of defining feature or characteristic. Feeling almost defeated, she went into one more bar.
She stood at the bar, talking to the bartender. "Excuse me. I know this is going to sound weird, but I'm looking for a man. I don't know his name or where he lives or what he does, but I need to find him."
"How can you be lookin' for someone you know nothin' about?"
"I don't know." She sighed and looked up at the tv. There on the screen, was a handsome man talking to the press. "Hey! That's him!"
The bartender looked up, "that's the commissioner's son- Danny Reagan's his name."
"Danny Reagan. Do you know where he works, where he lives?"
"Where he works, yeah. Over at the 5-4."
"The five-four? What's that?"
"Have you been livin' under a rock? It's a police station."
"Could you tell me where it is?"
She listened closely to the directions, nodding along, everything sounding vaguely familiar. "Thank you."
She set out on her journey, not knowing at all what to expect. What if this Danny character was married? What if he had kids? Or what if he was sleeping with that pretty Latina standing next to him on the tv screen? The woman had so many questions, questions she craved answers for: the most important one being "who the hell am I?"
**********
"There has to be something we missed," Danny was standing at his desk, shifting through papers strewn haphazardly across the surface.
"We just told the press everything's fine." His partner, Maria Baez, lifted her hand in a shrug.
"We have to lie to the press to keep them at bay. This doesn't seem like a normal murder. It's all too... neat."
"I can head over to the neighbor's again, see if they actually have more to tell us."
"Good idea."
"I'll keep you posted." Baez grabbed her coat and left the building.
"Um, excuse me."
There was a tap on Danny's shoulder and he turned around to face the woman. His heart immediately started pounding for reasons unknown.
"You don't know me, and I don't know you, but... something is telling me to look you up. I think- what's the matter?" She stopped her talking, a look of concern crossing her face. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"
"What's your name?"
"I don't know."
"Where'd you come from?"
"Somewhere dark and dingy and scary. Jersey, I think."
"How'd you get here?"
"Hitched rides until I came to Manhattan. Asked around about you, and when I got an answer, I came here. Why? Is something the matter?"
"This is going to sound weird, but do you have a tattoo on your ankle? Two Chinese symbols?"
"Those are Chinese?" She plopped her foot on his chair, the skirt she was wearing riding higher up her thigh. "What do they mean?"
"Peace and mind, love and happiness."
"Oh! Those are good things to have."
Danny licked his lips, swallowing hard. He was freaking out, and he was sure it was due to the stress of the case. "This will sound weird again, but... do you have a tattoo, right above your ass? Left side. A puzzle heart, one side blue, the other side purple? The blue has 'Danny' and the purple has 'Linda'?"
"Uh... I don't know."
"Can I check?"
"Here? In front of all these people?"
Why wasn't she protesting him looking in the first place? If she was who he thought she was, she'd protest immediately. "No, back here."
She let him take her hand, and her stomach fluttered. She followed him as they weaves through the detectives and into a back room.
"May I see now?"
"Okay." She turned around and pulled her skirt past her ass, letting rest at her thighs.
There he saw the tattoo, and the scar on her back from the bullet. He backed up until he sat on one of the cots.
She looked behind her, and pulled up her skirt. She walked over to him, "what's wrong? Are you sick?"
"I know who you are."
"Really? Who?"
"You're Linda.... my wife."
"Your wife?" She smiled widely, "alright! My name's Linda?" When he nodded, she continued, "Linda what?"
"Linda Rose O'Shea Reagan. We have two kids: Jack and Sean. Jack's in college, and Sean will graduate high school this year."
"They're so big!"
"Gentleman, too. Like you taught them."
"Danny, if I'm your wife, then why aren't I with you and our boys? Why was I-"
"In New Jersey somewhere?"
Linda nodded, sitting next to him on the cot. A warm feeling filled her chest; it was familiar and comforting, and something she hadn't felt in three years.
"You were airlifting a patient-"
"Nurses don't do that." She interrupted, "how did I know that?"
"They don't, which means the crash and everything was staged. Meaning you were kidnapped for three years, and are now back. But you've got amnesia."
"Amnesia? Is that why I can't remember anything?"
"Yes."
"Where do we live? Will you take me there? How did you know that I'm your wife?"
Danny answered the last question first. "You look exactly like my wife. Only her hair was dyed blonde, and she had cut it a little past her chin." He pushed her long brown hair behind her ear. "And the tattoos. Linda had- you have tattoos like the ones I described, and are on you. You've got a-"
"A what?"
Should he tell her about the bullet in her back? About how she was shot twice? "A scar on your back, sorta near your spine. I'd know those tattoos and scar anywhere. It was your eyes, too. My wife has the most electrifying blue eyes I have ever seen."
She looked into his eyes, again feeling the warmth in her chest, and somewhere decidedly lower. "Are you going to kiss me?"
"Oh, hell yeah." He cupped her cheek with his palm, bringing her lips to his. A sense of relief and euphoria washed over him as she kissed him back; if he had any doubt she wasn't his wife, it was gone now. No one in the world kissed him like Linda kissed him.
Linda didn't want the kiss to end; she hadn't been kissed for three years, and she didn't even remember being kissed before she was taken away from her husband. Her breathing became heavier as the kiss intensified. Reluctantly, they both pulled back for air.
"Danny, you said I was a nurse. I was wearing scrubs before I was able to shower and get a new pair of clothes."
"You were the best nurse... can I take you home?"
"Will you?"
"Yes." He left work with her, leaving no explanation with anybody as to where he had gone off to this time. The drive to the house was a little awkward- what does one say to their dead wife who's actually alive but has no memory of anything?
“Is this it?” Linda looked at the cute home when they pulled up to the driveway.
"Not much, but it's home."
"No, it's cute. Did I live here?"
He swallowed again, "no."
"How come?"
"I'll tell you later." He walked over to her, reaching for her hand.
She wouldn't let him, "tell me now."
"Our old house- there was a fire, and we lived with my Dad for a bunch of months. You died- were kidnapped May 28th. I got this place in August."
"Oh."
"C'mon," he held his hand out again, and this time she took it. "I'll show you around."
Linda listened carefully as he told the story behind the pictures to her. She was filled with love and melancholy, realizing she didn't remember the life she had.
"It looks like a nice life. I wish I could remember it."
"You will. It'll come back to you." Danny frowned when she started to cry. "Don't- don't cry. It'll be alright." He hugged her tightly, rocking her back and forth.
When her tears stopped, she quietly asked, "will you take me to the bedroom?"
Danny was surprised to hear that, even though that had been what he wanted to do ever since he discovered that Linda was alive. He led her to the bedroom without a word, and closed the door behind them out of habit. "It's lovely in here, without you."
She smiled at that, "I've missed you. I didn't even know who or what I was missing, when I was gone. But I now I know. It was you.... you protect me, don't you?"
"I didn't protect you from being taken." It was out of his mouth before he could keep it in.
"That wasn't your fault." She had no idea if that was true, but her husband needed reassurance. She stepped up to him, pressing her lips against his in a sweet kiss. She slipped her hand to the back of his head, the other one resting on his chest. The warmth inside her spread much like her husband's warm tongue in her mouth. She knew she missed this, even if she didn't remember it.
Linda moved her hands beneath his jacket, resting them on his shoulders. She took the jacket it off, and it landed on the floor in a crumpled heap. She moaned when Danny took off her cardigan, her hair getting frizzy from the dry air and static electricity.
"I was a blonde?" She nearly whispered, focusing on popping the little white buttons to his powder blue Oxford shirt.
"And a brunette some of the time. But mostly blonde." His shirt joined his jacket on the floor.
"Semper fi," she traced the inking on his chest, above his heart.
"Code of the Marines. Always faithful."
"You're a marine and a cop?"
"Ex-marine."
"Were you honorably discharged?"
Danny thought about his answer- he really wasn't. He could'nt be 'honorably discharged' if he was the only one who made it home. But he didn't want to upset his wife, so he answered, "yeah."
She traced his other tattoo, the Orange one on his right shoulder. "Linda Rose, with a rose."
"That's you." He took her blouse off, then her bra, and they were both half naked, standing in the bedroom.
As sexy as he was, standing there in no shirt and his tie still around his neck, Linda slowly started to remove the tie. "Were we kinky? Did we ever use this tie?"
He thought about being literal, telling her it wasn't that exact tie, but he decided against it. "We were fairly kinky. You liked being constrained."
"Really?"
"Mhmm."
"Interesting..." she pressed against him, sloppily undoing his belt. "Your pants sit low on your hips." With the belt discarded, she dipped her fingers into the waistband. "I like it."
Danny moaned when her hand sunk into his underwear. How he missed this, missed her! He missed everything about her, and was thoroughly convinced all this was a very vivid dream. There was no way he was this lucky, getting his supposedly dead wife back in his arms again.
Linda kissed his neck, nipping at the flesh as she unbuttoned his pants and slid the zipper down. Together they kicked their shoes off, with as much ease as they had had before she went away. If they had been sitting, drinking coffee, Danny would have to come up with the impossible task of telling the family all of it was fake. He didn't even know it was fake until an hour ago, and dare he say he was happier than the day he married the Angel?
"Linda," her name escaped his lips as her own found that spot on his neck. He felt his pants slip down to his ankles, and he stepped out of them while tugging Linda's skirt down. He picked her up slightly, away from the skirt, and sat on the bed. She straddled him, both of them in only underwear.
"Is this a rule?" She whispered nearly breathily, sending more heat through her husband's body.
"What?" He started kissing her jaw, palming her breasts with his hands. He smirked at the moan that came from her when he tugged on a pert nipple.
"The... the mutual taking off of- ah!- of clothes?" She barely got the question out, mostly focused on how she was pressed against him.
"Unwritten rule."
Her "Oh" turned into a low, dirty groan in the back of her throat as Danny's fingers tapped the front of her underwear. He dragged his finger across the dampening fabric, nipping at her collarbone. "Danny..."
"What is it? What do you want?" How easily he fell back into one of her favorite bedroom games.
"Touch me." She moved her hips, her core rubbing against his fingers. "More."
Danny obliged, feeling his underwear tighten further as he felt Linda's now wet undies. He scratched at them, pleased her eyes closed and her mouth dropped open. "Your wearing too many clothes."
As he hooked his fingers in the band of her underwear, she answered, "you too."
Clumsily, they rid of their underwear, and soon she was sitting on his lap again, fabric barriers gone. A curse fell from her lips when she felt him against her. It had been years since she was this happy, this pleasure stricken. It felt fantastic and very, very new all at the same time.
Danny's fingers found her entrance, and he teased her by doing the 'come here' gesture. She rolled her hips, signaling she wanted more. He slipped one finger inside her, then quickly added another, her choppy breaths hot against his ear. Only for a moment or two did Danny stop the movements. He faltered slightly when Linda's hand wrapped around his aching length. He moaned her name, and she kissed that spot beneath his ear, moving her hand up and down.
He had had about thirty seconds to think on how this would go. He was pleased how easily it was going, as if Linda hadn't been taken away from him at all. It had the feeling of a normal nooner. He pulled his fingers out, picking her up and laying her on the bed.
Linda attached her lips to his, her hand still pumping his length. He moaned in her throat, and she knew she was so close. Her toes curled as he started kissing his way down her body; a filthy sound came from her mouth when he pressed his lips against her heat. She was breathing through her mouth as shocks or pleasure pealed through her body, "Danny."
He lifted his head slightly, "yes?"
"I want you... inside me."
He complied, pressing himself into her until she whimpered. He stopped quickly, knowing that whimper wasn't one of pleasure. "Linda?" He swept her hair from her face.
"I... it's been a bit."
He felt stupid for not thinking about that. He found her hand, lacing their fingers together. "Tell me if it's too much?"
She nodded, squeezing his hand. They locked eyes as he slid fully into her, and for a few moments, the sting was enough to make her cry. Then she got used to it, and kissed him, murmuring into his mouth to continue.
She found her high first, screaming out his name. He followed her, the old habit of making sure she was happy first, still with him. After another round in the shower, they laid together beneath the covers.
Linda traced nonsense patterns on his chest, her eyelids getting heavy. "That was fabulous."
Danny chuckled and kissed her head. "I'm so glad you're back. You have no idea- I was..." he had wondered when the tears of joy would hit him.
Linda lifted her head, "you're sad?"
"No, I'm so happy." He crushed her against him, hugging her tightly. "You're alive, you're alive. And it's real."
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I Love You, Colby Brock
Hey everyone, so I guess this is my first imagine so enjoy 😆 or not, that’s cool too. If you have any ideas or requests feel free to message me.
Gif is NOT mine, I got it from google so props to the rightful owner!
—
You were sitting on the couch watching Netflix with your boyfriend Colby
You were snapped out of your thoughts when there was a knock on the door. “Come in!” Colby’s deep voice said loud enough to hear over the tv. Sam, Colby’s best friend and one of his five roommates, came into the room. You instantly paused the tv, knowing that Sam wouldn’t interrupt this precious time unless it was important. “Hey guys, would you mind helping me out with a video. It’s a new series on my channel and I want you guys to start it off.” Sam said confidently with his statement. You smiled at Sam, more than willing to help with his new series. “Sure, what do we have to do?” Colby asked moving the blanket that covered both of you.
~~
“What’s up guys! Welcome back to my channel! So I told you guys a few weeks ago that I wanted to start doing more serious stuff on my channel and today is going to start that. I have Colby and Y/N here, say hi guys.” Sam said and pointed the camera at you two sitting across from each other in the living room, Sam made you guys move to the main floor of the house for more “filming space”. “Hi guys!” You and Colby exclaimed at the same time, Sam the set the camera back on himself to finish the rest of the introduction. “So I have Colby and Y/N sitting across from each other. One person is going to have headphones in with their music blasting, while the other person tells them something they’ve always wanted to tell them and vice versa. This way neither will know what the other one said until I post this video. So with that out of the way, who wants to go first?” Sam asked. You immediately stuck your hand up. “I do!” You exclaimed. Sam laughed as he set the camera on the tripod while Colby put his headphones in and started to play his music loud enough not to hear you but not loud enough for you to hear it. “Alright, whenever you’re ready Y/N/N” Sam said standing behind the camera.
“Colby Brock, I don’t even know where to start. But I will start by saying thank you. Thank you for loving me when I didn’t even love myself. Growing up I always thought that I had to love myself first before I could love someone else and after I met you I realized that was the biggest lie I’ve ever heard. You showed me how to truly love myself. My whole life I’ve been bullied and never felt like I belonged anywhere, until I met you Colby. You showed me the most beautiful things in life, you change my perspective on not just the world; but how to live in it. You taught me how to take chances and to step out of my comfort zone. Thank you for being so patient with me, we were suppose to move in together this summer but because of my family issues, we have to postpone until next year, adding more time to this stupid long distance and for that I am truly sorry Colby. I want to put you first and to give this relationship my all and it physically pains me that I can’t do that yet. I love you so much Cole Robert Brock, you’re my actual world. You’re the cause of my euphoria.” You expressed letting a couple of tears flow down your face. “I’m so sorry Sam, I don’t think you wanted it to get that deep.” You apologized to the blonde boy as Colby took out his headphones. “No, that was absolutely perfect Y/N.” Sam said. You looked at Colby, fear covering his face knowing that he didn’t hear a word you said but yet you were crying right in front of him, it hurt him that he didn’t know how to help you; you gave him a soft smile letting him know that you were okay. He nodded as you put your headphones in and started to play your music.
“Y/F/N Y/L/N, you’re my everything. We met when I was in such a dark place. I was thinking about quitting YouTube and letting everything go. But the day we met at the party, changed my life for the better! You helped me find myself again and to relight my passion. I’m able to be myself with you, which I can’t do with a lot of people. But there’s just something about you that I just can’t hide anything from. We’ve had talks that have been so deep and so meaningful that I seriously question myself as to how I got so lucky to have someone so understanding like you in my life. You’re my light in this dark world. These past past four years have been the best four years of my life and I never want to not have you in my life. I know that some stuff has to be settled out in Michigan before you can officially move here but I need you to know that I will wait for you as long as I have to. Yes long distance sucks but you make it worth it! I love you so freaking much!” Colby exclaimed giving you a thumbs up, letting you know that he was done.
You took your headphones out as Sam started to speak. “That was awesome guys! Thank you guys so much for helping me out with this!” Sam told you both as he began to pick up his camera. “No problem man, just let us know when it’s ready to get posted.” Colby told him. “Will do bro!” Sam told his best friend before leaving the room.
~~ 2 Weeks Later ~~
The last few weeks have been absolutely terrible. The family drama kept getting worse along with the drama at work. You were starting to get very irritated with your family members with all the constant fighting and bickering about the current situation your younger brother was in. He was getting into bad business with bad people and getting extremely violent, making your mother afraid to be alone with him while your dad worked midnight shifts. Which was the reason why you couldn’t move to California to be with Colby. You loved your brother to death but somethings going on with him that no one else could explain, not even himself.
You stayed in Michigan to protect your mother at all costs, so that she wouldn’t have to be alone with him. But it was starting to get to the point where his actions were getting extremely annoying and very old. You had enough of your brother and you had enough of your brother fighting your dad. You were just over the constant fighting, there was no escape from it. Work seemed to be your only safe place but that quickly changed when a few of your coworkers started to have drama with you because of the way you looked and did your job.
You just wanted to be back in California with Colby and your friends. But Sam never texted back about the video, which was very unlikely for him. You had texted Sam a couple of times, expressing to him that you wanted to be with Colby when the video came out and that you would have to book your plane ticket in advance. But Sam never texted you back about it, only causing more anger and frustration.
You finally got home from your stressful day at work ready to just go to your room and cry. The only good thing about the day was that it was Friday and you didn’t have to see anybody for the next two days. You walked in the house to see Colby standing in the front room. You dropped your bag and ran into his arms burying your face in to his neck and started to cry. Colby knew all about your problems, you texted him every day, keeping him updated on everything; he hugged you even tighter as you begin to cry harder.
“Hey Baby Girl, I missed you!” He said when you finished crying and began to calm down. “When did you get in? How long have you been here?!” You asked before wiping your face. Colby grabbed your face in between his hands and looked down at you. “That doesn’t matter babe, the only thing that matters is that I’m here now.” He said before he kissed you softly. “Now, lets watch Sams video.” He said pulling you onto the couch.
#colby brock#sam golbach#aaron doh#corey scherer#elton castee#jake webber#katrina stuart#brennen taylor#youtube#youtubeimagine#colbybrockimagine#imagine#devyn lundy
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Worst Acid Experience
So as the title states I would like to share an actually unbelievable story with you guys about a horrible night of terror I had a few months ago that completely changed me as a person. I’ve only confided in a few other people about this but I feel as if posting about it might help somehow.
Let’s get right into it. I’ve tripped acid many many times before and ALWAYS had an incredible time, straight euphoria and slight visuals on about 2-3 tabs each time (always paper), so I thought hell, why not take some acid tonight. So I had a friend drive me downtown to buy 2 tabs from a friend of a friend, took 1 on the way back and another when we arrived home. Keep in mind these were dark blue gel tabs and I had no idea what they were. Being the pothead that I am, I wanted to smoke a blunt before the acid kicked in, still very optimistic.
TRIP BEGINS HERE: Fast forward to about 20 minutes after the blunt, I’m on Xbox with a few friends when I noticed some slight visuals kicking in faster than usual. That’s nice, I thought, finally. All of a sudden I looked away from the tv and I could see the tv on the floor. I immediately freaked the fuck out, stood up, threw my headset, and started realizing how intensely I was hallucinating. Pressure starts to build in my temples and my ears start ringing loudly. This is it. I’m gonna die. That’s all I could think. Sheer utter terror fell through my body as I screamed and cursed. I legit felt like this was the end. The pressure finally builds to a certain extent and then POP. The ringing in my ears pops and the pressure explodes into a burst of color in my vision with large black splotches I could see very vividly. The rest of the night I spent dealing with horrifying hallucinations such as prismatic shapes flying in sequence over one another with what sounded like a roaring jet engine in my ear. All I could do was lie there crying while my senses were barraged by this hallucinogenic artillery. At one point I very vividly remember seeing green numbers floating around the room, I remember (at my worst point around 3am) hearing what sounded like computer dial up sounds and hundreds of screaming people as if they were being burnt alive. I even remember thinking that my girlfriend, who at the time over the phone was trying to assure me I wasn’t going to die, was actually trying to kill me. I tried calling other people but the numbers were floating off the phone and I couldn’t for the life of me unlock the passcode. Somewhere in the middle of this I remember my whole body tensing up and shaking violently like some type of mild seizure, and in the morning I vomited many many times.
The next day was absolutely horrible as I had to go to work feeling like my whole life, essence, and very being didn’t exist. I was extremely constipated on top of that. Feeling like you are actually going to die, like you just made the ultimate mistake and now you’re going to cease to exist, and for several hours at a time, was utterly the most awful thing I have ever experienced and I honestly wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. Anyone.
If anyone has had a similar experience I would appreciate the opportunity to hear about it. I haven’t really found anything close to what happened that night.
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Fighting the Good Fight [Ch. 8]
Alec Lightwood just wants to run his Institute in peace.
This is the story that could’ve unfolded if Jace didn’t exist.
Rating: Mature
Pairings: Magnus/Alec, Clary/Izzy
Tags: Jace doesn’t exist, transgender alec lightwood, retelling of the TV show, Internalized Transphobia, Panic Attacks, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Lightwood Siblings Feels, Izzy and Alec are parabatai, Family Dynamics, homophobia
AUTHOR’S NOTE: TRIGGER WARNINGS
HOMOPHOBIA: The fallout from Clizzy's kiss is rough, as you probably all would've guessed. Maryse is a nightmare about it, but Alec calls her out.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE/MANIPULATION: Maryse manipulates/guilt trips Alec into things he doesn't really want to do. It's not fun, but keep in mind Alec does get a happy ending!
TRANSPHOBIA: Maryse is very flippant about Alec's surgery and dismissive of Alec's feelings on the matter. Lydia """"""accepts"""""" Alec but insists that he must get "all the surgery" before she'll consider him her husband/fiance.
INTERNALISED TRANSPHOBIA?: Alec refers to himself as 'not a real man', but he uses air quotes around it - he's being sarcastic/satirical. However, later, Magnus walks in on him wearing a sports bra and he refers to himself as 'not decent' because he's ashamed of his chest etc.
DEPICTIONS OF GRIEF: Simon dies, and Clary is obviously grieving.
RACISM: Lydia is racist. She calls downworlders 'demonic beings' and ignores Luke's concerns and expertise whenever possible. Alec calls her out on it, and Magnus calls her family ancestry out on it... It's iconic.
Previous Chapter
Episode 8: Bad Blood
Everyone in the room was staring at Izzy and Clary, utterly silent. Alec cringed at the sound of their lips smacking together, not daring to glance at his mother, who had stopped dead in the doorway. After a long, tense moment, the two women in the centre of the room seemed to come back to themselves, and broke apart.
“What did I just do?” Izzy whispered, her wide eyes fixed on Clary’s.
Clary pressed her lips together, her expression warm and relieved. It took her a minute, but Alec saw the realisation dawn on her face as she looked around at the shadowhunters staring at them. “Oh come on,” she laughed nervously, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “It’s the 21st Century.”
Izzy squeezed her eyes shut, and Alec, as freaked out as he was, couldn’t stop himself from leaping over the rail he’d been leaning on and crossing to her side. Izzy’s fingers had turned white from how hard she was gripping onto Clary’s hand, and Alec took her elbow.
“Hey,” he said softly, “I’m proud of you.” He didn’t know what the fuck they were going to do to fix the rage he could sense rolling off their mother over by the door, but he knew that Izzy needed to hear his voice, right now.
“Should I not have…?” Clary asked, the euphoria she’d felt at the kiss totally gone.
“Everyone, get back to work.” Maryse’s voice made all three of them tense, and the shadowhunters who’d been watching and whispering dispersed.
Izzy and Alec looked at each other for a long, long moment, squeezing each others’ hands, and then glanced at the doorway.
Maryse was gone.
“Fucking hell,” Izzy murmured, letting Alec go and pulling Clary into a hug.
Clary rubbed her back, looking over Izzy’s shoulder at Alec with a frown. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure this out.”
“I’ll go and talk her down,” Alec promised, though he could feel the anxiety blooming hot in his chest as Izzy let Clary go and turned to look at him. “I’ll fix this. You… This was the right thing. This is good.”
Izzy sighed, putting her hand on his chest. “Don’t promise her anything stupid. You don’t owe her a deal. This is my mess to fix.”
“I’ll check in on you later, yeah?” He nodded, unable to lie to her. He knew full well that the minute Izzy had kissed Clary in front of everyone, she’d inadvertently sealed his fate.
Maryse was in the office, and Alec felt ill at the memory of what had happened the last time he’d spoken to his mother, and the last time he was in this room. He didn’t knock, squaring his shoulders as he walked into the room. Maryse was looking out the window, hands knotted tightly together behind her back. Alec perched on the edge of the desk.
“Clary could be a good political match for Izzy if we bring down Valentine.” Alec stated. “Clary is a Fairchild. If she is the one to bring in Valentine she will be one of the most influential people in the Clave overnight. Izzy could do worse.”
“Have you forgotten,” Maryse said coldly, “that Miss Fairchild is a woman?”
Alec sighed, looking up at the bookshelves. It was easier, with the two of them looking away from each other. He could be businesslike, not let his feelings get in the way. “Yes, she is. Which means that Izzy and Clary’s partnership could go down in history. Izzy Lightwood will be remembered forever as the first openly sapphic shadowhunter. You always wanted a place in history.”
“Do you hear yourself, Alexander?!” Maryse sounded almost hysterical. “How on Earth are the Lightwoods meant to go on if Isabelle shacks up with a woman and you transition? Max will be our only hope, if we can hold on that long…”
“We don’t need to pop out babies to matter, mother. Izzy is worth more than her goddamn womb.” Alec insisted, “besides, they could adopt. Get a donor. Whatever. We have options. What we should be focussing on, what you should be focussing on, is making sure that Izzy is happy.”
Maryse shook her head. “Do you think Isabelle will be happy when she’s shut out of Clave missions? Do you think she’ll be happy to lose her career?”
“Oh, come on.” Alec snapped, getting to his feet and walking around the desk to look his mother in the eye. This was long overdue. “Stop pretending that this outrage is for our benefit. You are freaked out at the thought of your precious little girl being queer, just like you can barely look at your fucked up eldest whenever he reminds you that he has a goddamn vagina. Isn’t that right? Come on, mother, admit it.” He taunted, raising his chin. “You hate the sight of us.”
To her credit, Maryse looked horrified at Alec’s words, gripping his shoulders tightly. “I could never hate the sight of either of you. Ever. I’m scared, Alec. The two of you scare me. What you mean. My whole life, all I’ve been focussed on is getting you and Isabelle institutes of your own to run. And I just don’t know how that is going to happen with the two of you both so determined to ruin yourselves. You don’t know the Clave like I do, Alec. The second that your father and I are gone, they will cut you off. We are the only things standing between you and a deruning, do you understand that? They will use any excuse to get rid of the two of you.”
“Why?” Alec demanded, “why are they so threatened by us? We’ve done nothing wrong.”
“Shadowhunter numbers are dwindling, year on year. If people like you see you and Izzy as examples, if more and more shadowhunters start getting into same sex relationships and transitioning, what do you think will happen to the birth rate of shadowhunters? This isn’t just about you and Izzy. The Clave will see it as a threat to the future of our race.” Maryse explained, rubbing up and down Alec’s arms. “If we were mundanes, I would support the two of you with my whole heart. But we don’t have that luxury, Alexander. You have to marry someone. You have to. Soon.”
Alec had to admit, he hadn’t thought of that. It was a horrific, heartless suggestion; that the Clave wanted to keep queer people in the closet, but… He could understand. Shadowhunters were needed to protect mundanes. They needed the numbers. The whole point of being a shadowhunter was that you put your own selfish desires aside for the greater good.
Izzy deserved to have happiness. Alec would have to protect her, work hard, climb to the top, to keep her safe from the Clave. He couldn’t bear to think of her living a lie.
“Who do you have in mind?” Alec asked quietly, taking a step back away from his mother.
Maryse inhaled sharply through her nose, and closed her eyes, letting the relief wash over her. She knew Alec would see sense. “We have a few possibilities. For now, focus on getting the Mortal Cup while your father and I vet the girls. The moment the Cup is in Clave hands, we’ll schedule your top surgery, and…”
“I’m only getting surgery if you let a warlock do it.” Alec told her, “I know you don’t think it’s possible, but I am not risking getting turned into a forsaken in a surgery I’m not even sure I want. That’s the deal. I’ll get top surgery if you find a warlock to do it. I’ll think some more about bottom surgery, look into my options. I promise.”
Maryse pursed her lips, but she could see that Alec wasn’t going to budge on it. “I’ll reach out to Ragnor Fell in Idris and see if he knows of any warlocks with medical training. You’ll feel so much better once you get your breasts removed, Alec, you’ll be so happy. You’ll be healed in no time and then we can start introducing you to some young women in Idris. I heard that the Lovelace girl is looking for a suitor, perhaps…”
Alec tuned out his mother and the excited light in her eyes, trying to focus on not vomiting. Trying to focus on breathing nice and slow. He couldn’t afford to lose his mind again and end up at-
Magnus’.
Alec’s breath caught in his throat, and he felt tears welling hotly in his eyes. He had to stay away from Magnus, he had to make sure he didn’t make another mistake. He had to focus on surgery, his duty, marrying a girl. The moment he had the cup, or the moment his mother knew he had the cup. He’d give himself a few days, to prepare. To mourn the life he could’ve had if he wasn’t a Lightwood.
“I’m late for training,” Alec said, his voice sounding far away to his own ears, and left the room on autopilot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I’m so glad we got away from that crowd, all those people…” Izzy murmured, tugging Clary into her room, “it’s so intense.”
Clary swallowed hard, sitting on the edge of Izzy’s bed. “You don’t regret it, do you?”
“Everything happened so fast,” Izzy sat down next to her, putting her head on Clary’s shoulder. “I didn’t have time to think. I thought that the demons had you, I thought for sure you were hurt, and then you were there, and looking at me like…”
“Like I care for you?” Clary asked, smiling into Izzy’s hair.
Izzy hummed. “Exactly. I just forgot about everything else; I knew I had to kiss you.”
“Well,” Clary laughed gently, “at least you skipped the awkward coming out dinner.”
Izzy snorted, her arm looping around Clary’s waist as Clary’s hand landed in her hair. “That’s one way to look at it. My parents are going to be furious. And Alec…”
“Hey,” Clary nudged her, ducking her head to make eye contact, “let’s worry about that later, okay? We have the mortal cup, we’re both crazy about each other… Life is good. Sure, maybe tomorrow will suck, but we’ll get through it. Promise.”
“Promise is a strong word, Fray. I’ll hold you to it.” Izzy said, her eyes soft with affection.
Clary held up her pinky finger. Izzy raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s a pinky swear. You lock your pinky fingers together and then promise on it. Damn, don’t shadowhunters have childhoods?”
“Barely,” Izzy smiled, twisting her pinky finger around Clary’s.
“I swear that we will get through whatever bullshit your parents throw at us, and we’ll make sure Alec doesn’t break his back bending over backwards for them.”
“That’s a big ask,” Izzy sighed, snuggling into the crook of Clary’s neck, “he’s got the world’s biggest martyr complex.”
“He’ll be alright.” Clary offered, her voice soft. Izzy’s hair was so soft between her fingers, the dark curls twisting around her knuckles as she slowly raked them through the long strands. Izzy hummed happily, sated and sleepy all of a sudden. “Hey, you want to lie down?”
“Yeah, you’re sending me to sleep.” Izzy laughed softly, pulling away to scoot up the bed, landing with her head on the pillows.
Clary followed, unclipping her bra under her shirt and tugging it out through her sleeve before lying down. “It’s been a long day. We’ll meet up with Alec tomorrow morning and decide what to do with the cup, but for now, we should get some sleep.”
“I’m not gonna argue with that,” Izzy murmured, shifting closer to the other woman and slinging her arm around Clary’s waist. “I hope you’re a cuddly sleeper.”
“I can cope with it for you,” Clary smirked, knowing full well she was going to gently roll away the moment Izzy fell asleep. They lay facing each other, Clary’s fingers drawing gentle circles up and down Izzy’s back as Izzy stroked the soft skin of Clary’s waist where her shirt had ridden up. Their feet were tangled together, and Clary sighed out loud at the calm that washed over her. Perhaps she’d been a tad touch-starved.
Izzy was wide awake, now. She’d been so ready to fall asleep, but she couldn’t stop thinking about how soft Clary’s skin was, how pretty she looked with her eyes closed. Her eyelashes were so long, brushing against her cheeks. Izzy was struck with the absurd urge to squish the other woman’s face between her hands, and she smiled slightly, burrowing her nose into Clary’s cheek, her arm tightening around the other woman’s middle.
“God, you really are a cuddler,” Clary teased, the flat of her hand warm against Izzy’s back.
“Deal with it, Fray, you pinkie promised to never leave me.”
“That’s not exactly what the pinky promise was, Iz,” Clary snorted, brushing her lips against Izzy’s forehead.
“Well, you’re stuck with me, so suck it up.”
Clary laughed, hitching her leg over Izzy’s thigh. “Alright, alright. I’ll deal.” It wasn’t that it was unpleasant, being this close to Izzy, but Clary knew it would be difficult to sleep with Izzy’s body heat radiating into her.
It was worth it to hear the long, happy hum that Izzy let out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I think we should give the Cup to the Clave. We could use a fake to lure Valentine.” Izzy suggested the next morning, hands on her hips. “It’s too dangerous to dangle the real thing in front of him; if he got hold of it, it’d be the end of the downworld for sure.”
Clary shook her head. “If he realises it’s a fake before we get away from him, he’ll kill us all for sure. He’s no idiot, is he?”
“I’d rather him kill us than the entire downworld.” Izzy shrugged, “it would be a low price to pay.”
“No-one’s dying.” Alec insisted, staring at the screen that monitored the wards around the institute. “I hate to say it, but for now, I agree with Clary. The cup should be kept here, secretly. If no-one knows it’s here, it can’t fall into the wrong hands.”
“But you don’t think we should use it, do you?” Izzy asked, unable to believe what she was hearing.
Alec pressed his lips into a hard line. “I haven’t decided yet. All I know is that Clary has to bring in Valentine.”
“Why me?” Clary frowned.
“Because if you bring in Valentine, the Clave will consider you a hero, and you and Izzy will have an easier time of it. You and Izzy need to take the credit for this mission.”
“What about you? You need the favour with the Clave more than us if you’re going to date Magnus.” Izzy pointed out. Alec looked sharply at her.
“Forget Magnus. I can take him or leave him; you two need to be protected.” Alec insisted, running his hand through his hair.
“Uhhh… No. That’s bullshit.” Izzy argued. “You care about Magnus like I care about Clary. If I get my happy ending, you’re getting yours too.”
Alec groaned softly, shaking his head. “That’s not how this works, Iz. Something has to give, we have to compromise somewhere.”
“Hey,” Clary interrupted, catching Izzy’s elbow before she could launch into a tirade, “we’ll figure out what to do about our personal lives later. For now, we have to decide whether we’re going to go after Valentine by ourselves or involve the Clave.”
Before either Lightwood could open their mouth to argue their point of view, a claxon started going off in the ops centre. Alec looked back at the monitor.
“A demon-blooded creature tried to cross the wards.” He noticed, grabbing his bow. “Let’s go and check it out.”
Izzy and Clary followed him, taking angel blades off the weapons rack as they went. The three of them descended the stairs at the front of the institute, weapons raised and ready, their bodies coiled tight with tension. Izzy spotted him first, the vampire from the Hotel DuMort who’d let Simon go. He was standing in the shadows, carrying something big. Izzy wordlessly nudged Alec and Clary and pointed to his silhouette.
“Don’t shoot!” The vampire called, “I have something you want.”
Alec frowned, and lowered his bow slowly. “Come into the light.” He ordered, and the three of them watched as the vampire walked into the path, under the glow of the streetlamp.
He was carrying a body.
“I didn’t kill him!” The vampire insisted, walking towards them. Izzy growled under her breath, but Alec put a restraining hand on her shoulder.
“Is it a mundane?”
“It’s Simon!” Clary screamed, her stomach dropping to her feet. The angel blade she’d been brandishing clattered to the floor as she sprinted towards the vampire, her green eyes wide with shock as she took in the pale stillness of her oldest friend, cradled in the vampire’s arms. “No… No… This isn’t real…”
“Clary,” Izzy said her name like a prayer, going to the redhead’s side. “I’m sorry.”
Alec hung back, regarding the vampire suspiciously. “Why did you bring him here?”
“I knew the mundane was important to the shadowhunters. And I want to expose Camille as the monster she is. My name’s Raphael Santiago. You need to arrest Camille.” Raphael insisted, “your pet mundane is not the first she’s killed.”
“Alright, let’s… Let’s get him inside,” Alec breathed, avoiding looking at Clary, who was sobbing into Izzy’s shoulder. “We’ll put him in the morgue; no-one will look there. Mr Santiago, if you could join us. You’re going to need to answer some questions.”
Raphael nodded, handing Simon off to Alec. “I’ll co-operate fully with your investigation.”
“Come on, Clary, let’s go inside,” Izzy coaxed Clary off her shoulder, squeezing her hand as they followed Raphael and Alec through the side door and down to the morgue.
Alec was used to death. As acting head of the institute, he’d seen a lot of it, investigated dozens of murders, but he couldn’t deny that he felt a stirring of genuine sadness at Simon’s passing. He glanced down at the mundane’s face as he placed him gently on the table, Clary rushing forward with a cardboard box to support his head. Simon had been kind to him, even when Alec pushed him away. He’d been a little clueless and sometimes got in the way, sure, but Alec had to admit to himself that he’d miss his anxious chattering.
Of course, Simon’s behaviour over the last couple of weeks made sense now. He must have gotten hooked on vampire venom when he was held at the Hotel DuMort. They should have noticed.
“People will be wondering what we found outside the perimeter,” Alec said quietly as Clary started stroking Simon’s hair. “I’ll go and tell them that we didn’t find anything. Nobody will come down here, you’ll have your privacy. Izzy, can you take a statement from Mr Santiago?”
Izzy nodded, and Alec headed back upstairs, his heart heavy. He’d failed Simon.
“I may be a vampire,” Raphael drawled, looking around the morgue, “but I was raised a good Catholic. The mundane deserves justice.” He crossed himself over Simon’s body, and Izzy rubbed Clary’s back.
“The vampires breached the Accords. This could be grounds for war if the Clave finds out.” She told Raphael, her eyes narrow.
Raphael regarded her coolly. “The vampires were not behind this. It was Camille. I have witnesses that will attest to that. She attacked Simon on her own; we thought that he was going to be a simple hostage. She was the one who bit him and got him hooked on venom.”
“Of course you would say that,” Izzy’s chest was heaving with emotion, “you don’t want to be implicated.”
“I could have gotten rid of the body and you’d never have found him. But instead I brought him here. The mundane was annoying, but he was brave. Even had the guts to try and stab me,” Raphael smiled faintly at the memory. “Like I said, he deserves justice, and I don’t want trouble with the shadowhunters.”
Izzy pursed her lips. Raphael had a point, but she also had a feeling that there was more in it for Raphael than justice.
“I warned him to stay away, but it was too late. Camille had given him a taste of her blood and he kept coming back for more. It was only a matter of time before she killed him.”
Clary looked up from Simon’s face with tears in her eyes. “The only reason he ever got a taste of Camille’s blood was because you brought him to her. You kidnapped him, you brought him to Hotel DuMort, you delivered him to a fucking sadistic vampire bitch with a knack for killing people and you think you’re totally blameless?!” She shouted, half-bent over Simon’s body. “You’re almost as bad as she is.”
“I never meant for this to happen. The mundane’s death will be on my conscience for…”
“His name is Simon!” Clary yelled, casting her eyes back down to his body. “Simon… please come back, please…”
“There is…” Raphael took a seat a nearby bench, his hands on his knees, “a way.”
Clary raised her head. “A way for him to come back?”
“Clary, no… Don’t listen to him,” Izzy urged, shaking her head.
“No, I have to! Can we bring Simon back?”
Raphael nodded. “He’s a fledgling. He drank Camille’s blood, so he’s in a state of transition. He could be resurrected. All we’d have to do is bury him and wait for him to emerge.”
Clary swallowed hard. “So I could have Simon back?” Her heart began to race, and she swiped at her tears with the back of her hand. “Alive and breathing.”
“Clary, no, he wouldn’t be the same. He’d be a vampire,” Izzy explained. He wouldn’t be alive or breathing. It would be awful for him, he’d be out of control, unable to think past the bloodlust. He wouldn’t be your friend anymore.”
Raphael snorted. “You people really believe everything the Clave tells you, don’t you? Simon would be overwhelmed for a few days, but with the support of the clan he would be his annoying, nerdy self in a week.”
“You don’t know that!” Izzy retorted, “you can’t possibly know that.”
“I’m sorry, which one of us has actually been turned and which one of us has read about it in books?” Raphael spat. When Izzy didn’t respond, he turned his attention back to Clary. “It’s almost sunrise, so I have to go. Simon must be turned into a vampire tonight or staked through the heart to put him to rest.”
Clary swallowed hard, sniffing back tears. “And if I do neither?”
“His soul will be trapped for eternity.” Raphael answered, getting to his feet. “You have until sunrise to decide what to do with Simon. Whatever you decide, I hope that you will be sure to arrest Camille for his murder.”
Izzy breathed in slowly. “We’re not interested.”
“No, we are. Izzy, let me think about this.” Clary insisted, looking over her shoulder at the other woman. “This is my best friend, he’s my responsibility. It’s because of me that he’s dead, it’s my choice.”
Izzy sighed in resignation, and nodded. She knew that she’d feel the exact same way if it were Alec, at the end of the day.
“Here’s my number,” Raphael handed Clary a business card, “let me know what you decide to do.”
The moment Clary nodded he was gone, only a soft breeze left behind where he’d sprinted away. Clary breathed out a shaky sigh, and looked back down to Simon’s face. What would he want?
“Clary, I have to go talk to my parents, but I can make an excuse if you need me here,” Izzy told her gently. She’d ignored the text for the past ten minutes, but now that Raphael was gone she didn’t feel as unable to leave Clary’s side.
“Go,” Clary said quietly, “I want some time alone with him anyway.”
Izzy squeezed her shoulder, pressing a kiss to her hair, before making her way up the stairs to the offices. Alec had texted her telling her that their parents wanted to discuss something with them. As if today could get any worse.
The three of them were already sitting in awkward silence when Izzy made it to the office. Alec was sitting on the couch, and their parents were stood together behind the desk. Izzy nodded in apology to the two of them before quickly taking a seat next to Alec.
“Now that everyone’s here,” Robert eyed Izzy warily, “we have some things to discuss. Isabelle, your mother told me what happened with Miss Fairchild.”
Izzy swallowed hard, reaching for Alec’s hand. He took it and squeezed it tightly. “I care about her.”
“That much is obvious,” Robert nodded, eyes on the desk in front of him. “But you have to understand the implications for the rest of us if you decide to pursue a relationship with her. If you do go ahead and choose to be with Miss Fairchild, then the four of us have to depend on Max to give us a political union. Now, that would mean-”
“Clary is from a pure shadowhunter family; why is she not a viable political match?” Izzy demanded, though she knew the answer.
“Because a viable political match is not viable if you cannot produce an heir.” Robert answered patiently. “Now, it is not the act of homosexuality that worries me, I’m not homophobic. I just-”
Alec and Izzy both snorted, glancing at each other out of the corners of their eyes.
“Listen to your father,” Maryse told them severely. “As I explained to Alec yesterday, the Clave will not accept couples that cannot produce children purely because we need the numbers to survive. Now, luckily for you and the rest of us, Alec has agreed to an arranged marriage.”
“You did what?!” Izzy exclaimed, ripping her hand out of Alec’s. “You promised me you wouldn’t promise them anything stupid!”
Alec grimaced. “Technically I didn’t.”
“Alec, you can’t. Are you fucking insane?!”
“This is Alec’s decision,” Robert pointed out, “and he made it for all of us. I for one am proud of his self-sacrifice in this matter. It won’t be easy for you, kid, I get that. I know you have a lot of anxiety about surgery, but I’m sure that you’ll be happier in the long run.”
Alec kept his head down, not willing to look any of them in the eye. He heard Izzy sniffle next to him, and his chest tightened.
“You’re going to force your son into dangerous surgery he doesn’t want, marry someone he doesn’t love, and you have the audacity to say that he’ll be happier for it? Fuck the fuck off, Dad.” Izzy stood up, her eyes teary but determined. “You disgust me. The both of you disgust me. You don’t know either of us, not really. You don’t give a shit whether we’re happy or not. You just want to cling onto power. That’s all that any of this is about. The only reason you ever accepted Alec was because it was good for the family image to have a firstborn son to carry on the family name, because that matters more than anyone’s wellbeing. Honestly, I would rather get deruned and kicked out of this fucking institute than watch Alec throw his life away on some prissy Idris society girl. I won’t fucking do it, I won’t!”
“I want to, Iz.” Alec said quietly. “I want to do this.”
Izzy deflated a little, looking down at her brother. “You don’t mean that.”
“All I ever wanted was to be normal.” Alec pressed his lips together. “I just want to run an institute. I want a career, and a family. I want those things. And I can have them. We’re going to find a warlock doctor to operate so the risks will be minimal, and… I promise, I’m okay with doing this for you, for all of us. It’s my duty. It’s my honour to fulfill it.” Alec reached for her hand. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t have agreed to it if I didn’t want to do it.”
Izzy’s lower lip wobbled. “But Magnus…”
“Who’s Magnus?” Maryse demanded, but the siblings ignored her.
“It never could have worked. It’s okay. I’m sure that I’ll get along great with whoever I end up marrying. We’ll have a solid relationship that isn’t all dramatic and romantic, it’ll work for me. So please, calm down. I’m fine.” Alec smiled weakly. “I need your support in this, Iz.”
Part of Izzy wanted to slap some sense into him, but the bigger part wanted to bury her face in his chest and cry and thank him for sacrificing his happiness for hers. She could never, ever repay him for what he was about to do for her; the least she could do was be there for him on the next steps of this fucked up journey he was taking. She took his face in her hands. “I love you so much, Alec. You know that, right?”
Alec nodded, his smile a little more genuine, and stood up to gave her a hug.
Maryse and Robert looked at each other, relieved that Alec had managed to talk their daughter round. “There is one more thing,” Robert told the two of them, which made them pull away from each other and sit back down on the couch. “The Clave is concerned that Miss Fairchild is corrupting the professionalism of our institute. After they heard about the display in the ops centre, they decided to send an envoy.”
“They’ll be coming to observe us, how we operate, and to take over the investigation into Valentine. Mostly they’re coming to scrutinise our leadership, so you two need to make sure not to do anything to cause the Clave to doubt us.” Maryse insisted.
Alec squeezed his eyes shut. Of course. As if the past few days hadn’t been shitty enough. Of course the Clave would send an envoy when they’ve got a vampire fledgling hidden in their morgue.
“When are they coming?” Alec asked tonelessly.
“Any time in the next couple of days,” Robert answered, straightening his tie. “Alec, I know I don’t have to remind you not to out yourself while they’re here. Only a few people in the Clave know about you, and the less people in Idris gossiping about you, the better your chance of finding a marriage.”
Izzy glared at their father as he walked out of the room, clamping her jaws shut so she wouldn’t yell again. Alec looked dead inside; he needed her attention more. “It’s gonna be okay, Alec. We’ll get through this.”
“Yeah,” Alec sighed heavily, standing up from the couch. “It can’t possibly get any worse, after all.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Clary, please, please, answer the phone. I can't take it anymore, I have to go to Camille. Something's happening to me, I feel like I'm losing my mind. I need to know. Camille could have answers. I don't know what else to do. Please, please pick up the phone."
Clary sniffed back another round of tears as the message finished, and she looked back down at Simon's body. "I'm so sorry, Simon. This is all my fault. If I'd never gotten involved with the shadowhunters, you'd never have met Camille." She shook her head, rubbing her knuckles into her eyes. "I have to bring you back. I can't... I can't let you go, I need you. Your Mom needs you. I have to bring you back. You understand, right? This wasn't your time, it's not right. It's not fair."
She paused, like she was expecting someone to answer. There was no-one else in the room; Clary was sitting there alone, clutching Simon's cool hand. She took a shaky breath, and nodded to herself.
"Yeah, I'm gonna bring you back. I have to."
Izzy would have a lot to say about it, Clary knew, but she couldn't do anything else. She slipped Raphael's business card out of her pocket and sent him a message, telling him to meet her in the nearby cemetery at sundown, and to bring a shovel. He texted back mere moments later to tell her she had made the right decision.
She didn’t bother replying to Raphael, and instead called the one person she knew would stand by her side no matter what.
“Clary?” Luke answered on the second ring, as dependable as always. “Are you alright? Is there a problem with the Cup?”
Clary swallowed hard, trying not to let the pressure in her eyes build into tears again. “Luke, something terrible has happened. Simon’s… H-he’s dead. Simon’s dead!” She whimpered, pressing her hand to her mouth.
There was a shocked silence on the other end of the phone. “I’m so sorry, Clary.” Luke said, after a moment. “How did it happen?”
“Camille from the Hotel DuMort got him addicted to her blood. He went looking for a fix and she killed him. In cold blood.”
Luke let out a snarl that was definitely not human in origin. “There have been rumours about her for years. You want me to have the wolves bring her in?”
“I just… I need to talk to you about becoming a downworlder.” Clary said quietly, “you’re the only one I know who’s been through it.”
“You’re thinking of burying Simon and letting him turn?” Luke guessed. He sighed when Clary didn’t answer. “It’s hard. He could lose his family. But… If he has you… Then I think that he could do it. If it wasn’t for the friendship of your Mom, I never would have made it as a wolf. But thanks to her, I did okay.”
“You did more than okay, Luke,” Clary sniffled, smiling sadly. “You’re the alpha.”
Luke chuckled. “Thanks, kiddo.”
“So you think I should turn him?”
“I think that if you do turn him, it should be because it’s what Simon would want. Not what makes it easier for you.” Luke answered. “Uh, I have to go… The wolves are restless, I think there’s something encroaching on our territory… I’ll meet you later, alright?”
“Yeah, okay,” Clary said softly, before hanging up the phone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey, Max, where do you think you're going?" Alec spotted Max skulking around the edge of the ops room, looking guilty.
Max turned to look at him, a sheepish look on his face. "I want to use a real weapon for training. I'm sick of those stupid wooden daggers, they're rubbish."
"When Izzy says you're ready, you can use real weapons, but until then you have to listen to what we tell you." Alec pointed out, squatting down so he was eye level with his brother. "I did the exact same thing as you when I was a kid, stole a weapon to practise with, and look..." Alec held up his hand, showing Max a faint scar on his palm.
"Did it hurt?" Max asked.
"Oh, yeah. A lot. Had to have stitches and everything." Alec told him, and Max grimaced, taking a small dagger out of his pocket and putting the hilt in Alec's hand. Alec smiled, and ruffled Max's hair.
They both looked up as they heard a portal forming in the doorway, and Alec's stomach dropped to his feet as Valentine sauntered out with a faint smile on his face. Shoving Max behind him, Alec unglamoured his bow and fired an arrow right at Valentine's face.
To Alec and Max's horror, Valentine caught it in midair effortlessly.
As Alec notched another one, Valentine pulled out his stele and slipped it across a glamour rune. Alec dropped his arms as the silhouette of Valentine obscured and was replaced by a severe-looking blonde woman, dressed in a practical gray business suit.
"I'm Lydia Branwell," she announced, "envoy from the Clave."
Alec and Max looked at each other, their eyebrows raised in matching expressions of shock. Lydia walked towards them and held out her hand towards Alec. "Yes, welcome to the New York Institute. We didn't expect you until tomorrow. That was… Quite the entrance."
"I wanted to test your reactions," Lydia answered, shaking Alec's hand. "You must be Alexander Lightwood."
"Yes, sorry, that's me. My parents are in the office, I can take you if you'd like."
“No need, I’m here,” Maryse spoke up, walking down the steps towards them. Izzy was hot on her heels, still looking emotionally drained from the events of the day.
“Maryse, the Clave has instructed me to take temporary control of this Institute, just until we can ascertain what exactly has gone wrong here.” Lydia explained placidly, and Alec swallowed hard, exchanging a worried look with Izzy.
“Well, how on Earth are you supposed to assess our leadership if we are no longer the leaders?” Maryse demanded, folding her arms.
Lydia made herself welcome, walking across the ops centre to look at the various screens showing demon activity and shadowhunter movements, pointing her stele at the monitors every now and then. “You can take any issues up with the Clave. I’m just here to assess what I see. And in order to do that, I’ll need full clearance.” She looked around, frowning as she noticed a very notable absence. “Where is Clarissa Fairchild? I was under the impression that Alexander had been tasked with monitoring her.”
Alec tilted his head to the side. “It’s Alec, and at present she’s in the field. Training with the rest of our interns. I was headed out to go and check on them when you arrived.”
Lydia scoffed, walking towards Alec slowly. “You’re telling me that you’ve allowed Clarissa Fairchild, Valentine’s daughter, out and about on the streets of New York?”
“Isn’t she also your cousin?” Izzy pointed out scathingly.
Lydia turned to look over her shoulder at the other woman. “Distant cousin,” she sneered. “Get her back here as soon as possible. She will not be allowed outside of the institute as long as I’m in command.”
“That won’t be a problem,” Maryse assured her, “Miss Fairchild is in good hands.”
“Oh, I hope so, for your sake.” Lydia replied coldly.
Alec’s phone buzzed in his back pocket, making him jump a little. Everyone who ever texted him was in the room, except Magnus. He fished his phone out of his pocket, surprised to see a message from Luke. His eyebrows creased as he read the message, and he jogged over to the monitor.
“Here’s something you should see,” he murmured, bringing up the satellite imaging over the docks. “Something has attacked the Jade Wolf, where the New York pack live. Luke Garroway and his wolves managed to take it down, but they have no idea what it is. Most likely it’s one of Valentine’s experiments.” Alec flicked the photos Luke had sent him from his phone to the screen in front of them. The humanoid was grey and bled green viscous fluid, and was very clearly dead.
“The werewolves’ headquarters? You’re in contact with Lucian Greymark?” Maryse looked utterly confused.
“It’s inappropriate for a wolf to have direct contact with a shadowhunter. Mr Greymark should have reported this to the Clave.” Lydia pointed out.
“And it would’ve taken the Clave a week to send someone,” Alec snapped. “It’s my job to protect the mundanes and downworlders of this city from demonic beings, and that’s what I’m going to do. Has the Clave got a problem with that, Miss Branwell?”
Lydia’s eyebrow quirked. “Downworlders are demonic beings.”
Alec laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, great, just what we need, another heavy handed racist running this place looking for another heavy handed racist.”
“Alec-” Maryse warned.
“No! I’m going to take a look at this thing. You can come with me or not, I don’t give a shit. I’m doing my job, and if the Clave and Little Miss Valentine here have a problem with it, you can kiss my fucking ass. See you.” Alec turned on his heel, leaving Izzy, Maryse and Lydia staring after him in disbelief.
After a moment, Lydia trotted after him, catching up with him at the door. “I’m not a racist, you know.”
Alec said nothing, just looked up at the sky as he slowed his pace to allow Lydia to walk beside him without jogging.
“I admire your values but you have to follow protocol, that’s what got you in trouble with the Clave.” Lydia pointed out.
“Yeah, that’s why the Clave hates me. Because of my passion and unorthodox methods.” Alec muttered sarcastically.
Lydia frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Alec’s eyebrow quirked. “You really don’t know?”
“Oh, you mean because your parents used to be in the Circle?” Lydia asked grimly. “I’m sure they don’t judge you based on-”
“Wait.” Alec stopped in his tracks. “My parents used to be in the Circle?!”
Lydia’s eyes widened, and she looked at Alec apologetically. “Did they conceal that from you?”
“I… They were in the Circle?” Alec had always known that his parents had a certain level of disdain for downworlders, but he didn’t think it was any worse than any other shadowhunter family… Apparently he was wrong.
“Yes, but they turned against Valentine before he fell. They were double agents at the end of the uprising, so they were spared of punishment.” Lydia explained, “they were… I suppose you could argue that they also helped bring Valentine down.”
It all made sense now, Alec realised. The pressure, the way that Maryse and Robert had sought to make sure that all three of their children kept their noses squeaky clean, why they were so keen to make Alec into the perfect heir… They wanted redemption. They wanted Alec to make people forget their dark past.
They were using him to cover up their mistakes.
“It doesn’t change how I feel about the Lightwoods,” Lydia insisted, taking his elbow. Alec pulled it out of her grasp, his nose wrinkling a little. “Your family has always had a strong alliance with mine. They’ve been a powerful force in the shadow world, and praised for their devotion. I admire that.”
“Devotion?” Alec laughed. “Some devotion.” The two of them stared at each other for a moment, and Alec glowered, looking away with a cough. “It shouldn’t have surprised me. It figures, really.”
“Anyway,” Lydia murmured as Alec started walking off again, grappling for a change in subject, “ I can see why all the girls in Idris are clamouring to meet you. You’re very… Tall. And brooding. I’m told that’s what girls are supposed to like.”
“And you don’t?” Alec asked, eyes flicking around the shipping containers as they passed into the docks. For all they knew, another one of those monsters could still be lurking around.
Lydia shrugged. “I’ve already had my love story. And I hear yours is just beginning…”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Alec had honestly never been so uncomfortable in his life.
“You’re looking for a wife. Or did I hear wrong?”
Shit.
“Uhhhhh…”
Lydia smiled, tangling her fingers together behind her back. “Let me guess. Not your idea?”
“Not even close,” Alec snorted.
“My parents tried to set me up too. Luckily I actually loved the guy they chose.” She explained. “But… He passed away last year. We were going to run the Lisbon Institute together, but then it was all ripped away. My love… My dream job...”
“I’m sorry,” Alec answered, the silence between them growing heavy. “Is the marriage thing the only rumour about me in Idris?” He pressed tentatively, watching his feet as they walked along.
“It’s the only one I’ve heard. Why?”
Alec pursed his lips, glancing over at her. “You sure you want to know?”
Lydia shrugged, though curiosity was evident in the way her eyes were darting to his face and away, over and over again. “I’m not here to judge you personally, just your leadership skills.”
“We’ll see,” Alec muttered, stopping and folding his arms. “I’m transgender. I don’t have a dick. I have boobs. I’m,” he raised his fingers in quotation marks, “not a real man.”
“Oh…” Lydia looked puzzled, her eyes sweeping down and back up Alec’s body. “I see.”
“My parents are pressuring me into surgery and marriage so I can be a useful heir,” Alec looked away from her, the confusion on her face making him anxious. “They don’t want to tell my future wife about it. It feels like lying. Well, it is lying, by omission. But then no-one would want me like this, so… What can you do?”
“That’s not true,” Lydia said quietly. Alec looked back at her, raising his eyebrow. “It wouldn’t bother me. And… Not every shadowhunter woman is particularly bothered about having children, so… You never know.”
Alec frowned. “Why are you trying to spare my feelings?”
“I know I made a bad first impression but I’m really quite liberal,” Lydia sniffed, shrugging a little as she started walking once more. “I figure what people do in private is none of my business. You’re a good shadowhunter, devoted to your family, and… You look like a man to me. So… What’s the difference?”
Alec watched her for a moment, rooted to the ground with a nauseating mixture of shock and unease. After a moment of inexplicable fear, he remembered himself, and rushed after her into the Jade Wolf. Luke was looking at Lydia with open distrust, but he relaxed a little as he saw Alec come through the door. Lydia was already bent over the creature on the floor, apparently having ignored the werewolves hovering uneasily in their own space.
“Hi, Luke. We came as quickly as we could.” Alec shook the alpha’s hand, nodding briefly to him before joining Lydia at the creature’s side.
“Honestly I didn’t expect you until tomorrow. Thanks for coming, Alec.” Luke answered. “It looks like a forsaken, but-”
“It definitely used to be a human, and it has runes. It’s a forsaken.” Lydia assessed, and Luke gave Alec a meaningful look.
“As I was saying, it was a lot stronger than your average forsaken. It took five wolves to take that thing down. And it seemed to be after something, it seemed focussed, like it had a plan. Why would a forsaken wander in here by itself? Not like it fancied some Moo Shu… This is Valentine’s work, no doubt. I think he’s after me. I used to be his parabatai, until he literally fed me to the wolves. Would make sense for him to want to get rid of me now that he’s gaining power again.”
Lydia hummed, not looking up at Luke as he spoke. “We’ll take the body back to the institute, do a full autopsy.”
“Hold up.” Luke put his hand out, and Lydia finally raised her eyes to look at him, “I get that I called you… Well, I called Alec… But what I didn’t want is someone to come down here and just take over. I’m trying to catch Valentine, this body could help the pack find him.”
“Coming in and taking over is kind of Lydia’s thing,” Alec told him, the two men quirking eyebrows meaningfully at each other as Lydia’s gaze swept over the body on the floor.
“I know I come across as abrasive!” Lydia said crisply, “but we all want to catch Valentine, and we have better resources than you do here in this… Restaurant. We’re all on the same side, here.” She made eye contact with Luke for the first time since she walked in. “Can we agree on that?”
Alec nodded at Luke. “We have an expert forensic pathologist, highly trained in all the creatures of the shadow world. We’ll tell you what we find.”
“If it doesn’t compromise the security of the Institute,” Lydia amended quickly, and Alec sighed.
Luke pursed his lips. “Fine. You win.”
Back at the institute, Alec and Lydia heaved the forsaken corpse onto the examiner’s table. Lydia bent over it, looked at it more closely. “We need to make sure magic wasn’t used to create this,” she told Alec, “are you on good terms with the nearest High Warlock, as you are with the werewolf alpha?”
Alec pursed his lips. “I know a High Warlock. I’m not sure if he’s the closest one, but he maintains our wards and has helped us in our efforts to bring down Valentine. He’s trustworthy.”
“As trustworthy as warlocks ever are,” Lydia sighed, straightening up. “Go on, who is he?”
“Mag-” Alec swallowed hard. He sensed it was a bad idea to bring Magnus here, with Lydia overseeing everything, but Magnus really was the best warlock Alec knew of who’d come on short notice. “Magnus Bane.”
Lydia hummed, a smile appearing on her face. “You know, I must admit, I admire Bane’s work. My ancestor was there when Bane created the portal. It’s a treasured family story.”
“Oh. Wow, I had no idea Magnus created the portal.”
“You’re on first name terms? So you know him well, then?” Lydia asked, tilting her head to the side curiously.
“Yes, yes, sort of… Magnus is very, um… Quite magical.” A beat of silence passed between them, and Alec glanced at Lydia’s expression, feeling his cheeks heat. “You know, he’s very good… At magic. Very impressive.”
“So I’ve heard…” Lydia said slowly, her eyes slightly narrow as she looked Alec up and down, like she had when he told her that he was transgender. “Anyway… Send him a fire message. While I’m sure your sister is a very capable pathologist, I imagine Mr Bane will be able to see things that she won’t.”
Alec nodded, grateful for the excuse to get the hell out of there.
He needed to work some shit out, preferably on a punching bag.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Magnus was disappointed when he portalled to the institute and Alec wasn’t there to greet him. He’d been hoping, since the fire message bore Alec’s signature, that it was Alec who wanted to see him, but instead a short, slightly evil-looking blonde person advanced on him with their hand stuck out. Magnus almost leapt straight back into his portal and went home.
“I’m Lydia Branwell, envoy from the Clave,” they told him, and Magnus quirked an eyebrow at her, tentatively taking her hand. “We have a corpse for you to look at.”
“Right…” Magnus said slowly, the name Branwell ringing a bell, but then most shadowhunter family names did. “I assume I’m going to be paid for my expertise?”
He was not doing this for free unless Alexander was involved.
“Of course, of course!” Lydia insisted, “the Clave would never take your services for granted, Mr Bane.”
Magnus fought the urge to scoff. “Of course not,” he answered smoothly, allowing Lydia to lead the way to the autopsy room.
“I just wanted to say, your work on the portal was incredible, it changed the shadow world forever. My ancestor was actually there when you-”
“Oh, yes. Cecil Branwell. Yes… That’s why your name is familiar...” Magnus nodded, “if I recall, he attempted to take credit for it,” he mused, “and only agreed to put my name in the history books because I threatened to curse his firstborn…”
He smirked at the look of horror on Lydia’s face.
“I’m joking, Miss Branwell. I never threatened to curse his firstborn.” He assured her, and she laughed nervously.
“I was going to say…”
“I actually just threatened to expose his admittedly impressive collection of werewolf porn.” Magnus hummed, leaving Lydia standing shocked outside the laboratory as he glided inside.
He was happy to see Isabelle standing there all dressed up in her lab clothes, but he couldn’t help the pang of sadness that Alec was nowhere to be seen.
“Magnus!” Izzy smiled, a scalpel already in her hand, “looking sharp, as always.”
“I could say the same to you, my dear,” Magnus smiled, rolling up his sleeves. “Now what do we have here?”
Izzy frowned, looking back down at the forsaken. “I’m not one hundred percent sure, but it’s some form of forsaken. Someone did something extra to it, but I can’t figure out what. Think you can help?”
“I can certainly try,” Magnus nodded. The corpse certainly looked like a forsaken at first glance, and Magnus hummed as he waved his hands over it, assessing it with magical probes.
“I waited until you came before I cut anything up,” Izzy told him, “I didn’t know if it would affect your assessment. I can’t wait to get my hands on that thing.”
Magnus smirked, “speaking of which, how is Alexander?”
Izzy snorted, and elbowed him gently in the ribs. “He’s… Honourable to the point of stupidity. You know what he’s like.”
“That sounds about right,” Magnus nodded. “He hasn’t been answering my texts.”
“He’s had a lot on his mind…” Izzy answered diplomatically, not wanting Magnus to hear Alec’s surgery news from her.
“It’s just so hard to tell if Alexander’s even interested.” Magnus sighed, “I mean… I can’t fathom why he wouldn’t be…”
“I don’t know if you noticed, but my brother is not exactly warm and fuzzy,” Izzy pointed out, “just give him time. He’ll come through, I’m sure of it. There’s just too much going on in his head right now. Maybe… You should go and find him, when we’re done here.”
Magnus finished up his magic, and grabbed a pen from the counter. “I’m done. Work your own magic,” he smiled. “But yes, I was planning to. I haven’t seen him since he practically ran out of the loft the other day. He seemed stressed.”
“Stress is his middle name these days. Alexander Stress Lightwood.”
“Then perhaps a few dozen well-worded compliments from me would lift his mood.” Magnus reasoned, and Izzy smiled over her shoulder at him as he wrote his notes.
“I know they would.” She looked back at where she was cutting into the forsaken’s rib cage. “Don’t give up on him, Magnus. He’s a knucklehead, but I think that he could make you really happy, you know? He has a big heart.”
Magnus’ eyes warmed where they were fixed on the page before him. “Oh, don’t worry, Isabelle. I’m no quitter. Speaking of which… I’m going to deliver the preliminary findings to the rightful head of this institute. Any ideas where I might find him?”
“He said he needed to punch something, so try his bedroom. He doesn’t like to work out in the training room.” Izzy told Magnus, apparently distracted by something interesting in the body. Magnus hummed, and made his way out of the laboratory. Thankfully, Miss Branwell had disappeared.
It was easy to find Alec’s room; a simple spell to sense the auras of people in the building and Magnus could feel Alec’s energy, vibrating with… Conflict? Unease? Whatever it was, it wasn’t good, and it made Magnus quicken his steps ever so slightly. He could rhythmic dull bangs coming from behind the closed door of Alec’s quarters, and knocked three times, his report tucked under his arm. The bangs stopped, and Alec called for him to come in.
Evidently he didn’t expect Magnus to be the one looking for him, and he yelped loudly when he caught sight of the other man, wrenching his arms across his body. “Magnus! What are you..?!”
Magnus was frozen for a moment, eyes going wide at the sight of Alec glistening with sweat, wearing baggy workout trousers and a white sports bra translucent with perspiration, his bare arms pumped from the punchbag, his abs framing a delicious-looking happy trail that slipped down...
Remembering himself, he spun around so his back was to Alec, and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you’d be… So hot. I mean… Sweaty. I mean… Working out.”
Smooth.
“I should be wearing a shirt, it’s my fault, I’m… Not decent.” Alec muttered, grabbing for a t-shirt and yanking it over his head.
“There’s nothing indecent about you, Alexander,” Magnus insisted, still facing the wall.
Alec smiled a little at that, shoving his hands in the pockets of his pants. “You can turn around now.”
“For the record,” Magnus said sheepishly as he turned around, “you’re seriously, seriously lovely to look at. I’d even go so far as to use the word dreamy.”
“Did you come here just to compliment me?” Alec teased, unwrapping the boxing tape from his hands.
Magnus grinned. “Well, yes. But also to deliver this report on the preliminary autopsy findings to the head of the institute. I’m always the absolute height of professionalism.”
“Oh, of course,” Alec snorted, looking at the folder in Magnus’ hands, “but I’m not the head of the institute. And I never will be.”
Magnus’ eyes trailed down to Alec’s arms again, watching as a bead of sweat slipped down the inside of his bicep.
“Magnus, it’s like…” Alec sighed, and Magnus looked back up at his face. “It’s like my whole life has been a lie. Everything I’ve ever known about my family, about my heritage, about my duty, it’s… Gone. Just like that. And now I don’t know what to do. Who am I supposed to be pleasing?”
Magnus frowned. “Alexander, you’re supposed to be pleasing yourself. No-one can live your life for you.”
“I’ve done everything for my parents, for the Clave, to honour them. And… They’ve let me down, Magnus. Again and again. I’ve done everything that they’ve asked.”
“Maybe…” Magnus smiled gently at the younger man, “maybe you should start living for yourself. Do what’s in your heart.”
Alec sighed, running his hand through his sweaty hair. “You know… You’re right. Why are you always right? It’s annoying.”
Magnus smirked, patting Alec’s shoulder. Damn, that was muscled, he thought, inhaling sharply, “comes with 400 years of life experience.”
Alec chuckled, and folded his arms. He wanted to say something more, something… He felt like he knew what he had to do, and he knew that Magnus wasn’t going to like it, but right now he wasn’t confident enough in his decision to explain himself to the other man, so he just kept quiet, enjoying the soft look on Magnus’ face.
“I should go,” Magnus announced, “people might talk if America’s sluttiest warlock hangs around in Alexander Lightwood’s bedroom for too long…”
“Don’t say that about yourself,” Alec replied, eyes fond, and Magnus shrugged.
“I own my sluttiness. I’m never going to apologise for enjoying sex,” he insisted, “besides, it’s fun to mess with shadowhunters’ fragile sensibilities. You should’ve seen the look on Miss Branwell’s face when I told her that her ancestor was a racist prick.”
Alec grinned. “Man, I wish I’d been there to see that.”
“It was poetic, really.”
Alec bit his lip, taking the report from Magnus’ hands. “Thanks for stopping by, Magnus. You always know what to say. I appreciate it.”
“Anytime you need to talk, Alec. I’m here. You know that.” Magnus nodded, letting himself out of the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clary felt sick watching Luke carry Simon through the graveyard. Simon was like a son to Luke, and Clary knew that no-one would understand Simon’s struggle when he rose like Luke would. While Clary was confident that Simon would want this, that he wouldn’t want to be ripped away from his family and friends like that, she still felt a sense of dread at having to explain to him exactly how he’d been brought back to life, and the consequences of her decision.
“You’re doing the right thing,” Raphael told her as they approached him. “Not only will Simon get another chance at life, he’ll help us to imprison a very dangerous vampire.”
“Save your political agenda, vampire,” Luke spat, putting Simon gently down on the ground and taking the shovel from Clary, “Simon deserves more respect than that.”
Clary nodded, running her thumb over Simon’s prayer shawl. “He deserves forever. And we’re going to give it to him.”
Luke straightened up as he heard a vibration in the air, and Raphael rushed to Simon’s side as Camille stopped a few dozen feet away from them. Clary pulled out her angel blade with her free hand, glowering at the woman who’d murdered Simon. Camille didn’t look half as dangerous as she actually was; she was slight, skinny even, with impractical stiletto shoes and a slinky red cocktail dress. The only thing that made her different to any rich bitch living in SoHo was the pair of gleaming white fangs brushing her lower lip.
“What do you want?” Clary demanded.
Camille sneered at Simon’s body. “I want my property back.”
“Your property?!” Clary snarled, rage broiling inside her and pushing her to walk purposefully towards Camille, angel blade outstretched. “He was a living, breathing human being and you took him from me.”
“If you’ll just hand him over, I’ll be on my way.” Camille sighed, barely sparing Clary or her weapon a glance. Luke hurried to hold Clary back, tugging her back towards Simon.
“Let me at her, Luke, I swear to God, I’m going to rip her hair out,” Clary growled, struggling against Luke’s iron grip.
“She will snap your neck before you could get close.” Luke insisted.
“You’re not laying a hand on him.” Raphael told Camille, “he’s going to make sure that the Clave puts you away for good.”
Camille pursed her lips. “Fine. I tried to do this the nice way.”
With a snap of her fingers, dozens of vampires appeared out of the shadows, surrounding them on all sides. Clary sniffed and raised her chin, unphased. If she was going to be ripped apart by vampires, so be it. She’d rather that than leave Simon’s body to be dumped somewhere where it would never be found.
“I’m glad you brought everyone here to witness your demise,” Raphael taunted, “Camille killed this mundane. She brought the shadowhunters to our door. She’s been breaking the Accords for too long, now. She will lead us to ruin. We can get rid of her. I have all the proof I need, right here.”
Camille laughed, though her eyes betrayed a hint of fear. “Are you trying to overthrow me?”
“If you kill Luke and I to get to Simon, the shadowhunters and the wolves will destroy you.” Clary pointed out to the assembled vampires, which made a few of them look at each other with uncertain expressions. “You will be obliterated by the Clave, if you aren’t ripped apart by Luke’s pack first.”
The vampires all moved at once, Raphael included, and closed in on Camille.
“Don’t listen to them! Raphael doesn’t know the first thing about leading; he’s a child. And as for the shadowhunter and her little lapdog…”
“You will destroy us in pursuit of your own selfish desires,” Raphael growled.
“We can fix this! If we just get rid of the body, this mundane means nothing!” Camille insisted.
Clary clenched her jaw, moving so quickly that Luke didn’t have time to grab her before she was standing in front of Camille. “Simon means nothing? Over my dead body.” Her fist sailed through the air and landed with a satisfying crunch on Camille’s nose, sending her reeling back into the crowd of vampires. Apparently, that show of strength from Clary was enough for them, and they surrounded Camille with a loud hissing sound, restraining her and dragging her back to Hotel DuMort as a team.
Raphael stayed behind, much to Clary’s surprise. He picked up one of the shovels and helped Luke dig Simon’s grave. While they worked, Clary knelt down next to Simon and put his prayer shawl on his chest.
“When your grandfather gave you this at your bar mitzvah, you told me how much it meant to you. It was the symbol of the day you became a man. Simon…” She wiped her nose in her sleeve, feeling the tears pooling in her eyes again. “No matter what happens, no matter what you are or what you become, you will always be that man to me.”
She held Simon’s hand until Raphael and Luke were done, and as Raphael lowered Simon’s body into the ground, Clary clung to Luke, burying her face in his chest.
“He’ll be alright, kiddo. He’s got us. He’ll always have us.” Luke soothed, stroking her hair. “Come on, we need to cover him over before dawn.”
Clary nodded, sniffing back her tears, and grabbed one of the shovels.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once Alec had showered, he put on his binder and his lucky denim shirt (Magnus had seemed to like it the first night they met, so Alec figured it made him look good), and headed to the office, where he knew Lydia would still be working. He had to give her Magnus’ report before Izzy’s came in. She seemed somewhat surprised to see him, but gestured to the chair opposite her.
“I have Magnus Bane’s findings. He found no trace of magic being used to create the forsaken. Izzy’s still working on it in the lab, I believe she’s waiting for blood test results.” He told her, handing her the report. He chose to stay standing, tangling his hands together behind his back as Lydia flicked through Magnus’ report.
“Seems strange that Mr Bane would deliver it to you rather than me...Though I’m not surprised, he took an instant dislike to me, this afternoon.” Lydia commented, a hint of bitterness in her voice.
Alec raised his eyebrows, shrugging a little. He’d never seen Magnus be unfriendly, so he could only assume Lydia had put her foot in her mouth somehow. “I also wanted to talk to you about a… Proposition.”
Lydia put aside the file. “A proposition?”
“Yes,” Alec answered, taking a deep breath as he thought of where to begin. “I feel that our problems are compatible. You need a husband in order to fulfil your dream of running an institute, and I need a strong political partner in order to restore my family’s authority in Idris. If we… Became allies, we could run this institute the way we saw fit. You could make sure that the Clave are happy, and I could get shit done. I know we have slightly different ideas, but we could iron out those differences.”
“Alec… Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Lydia asked, tilting her head to the side.
Alec nodded. “What do you think?”
“You want to marry me?”
Alec couldn’t stop his nose from wrinkling. “I want an ally. I want to be clear. This would not be a romantic or sexual… Thing. This is purely business. I have no interest in women, and I know you said you’ve done the love thing already, so… We’d just be… Allies. Partners.”
Lydia thought about it for less than a second. “Understood. I think we could make it work.”
“So…?”
Lydia smiled. “I guess we’re getting married.”
Alec blew out a long breath. “Right. My parents will be so proud.”
“I feel we should keep it to ourselves until I okay this with the Clave. Of course, you’ll have to have all the surgery before the wedding, so you’ll… You know… Be the husband.”
Alec’s eye twitched, though he didn’t respond. Lydia got up from her desk and took his hands in hers.
“Alec, I promise you, I will do my best to be a good wife.”
“Right…” Alec swallowed hard, realising he’d made a terrible, terrible mistake. “Anyway, see you… Around.”
He got the hell out of there before he could do something stupid like cry or vomit.
“Hey, Alec…” Hodge caught him in the hallway, stopping him with a hand in the crook of his elbow.. “You alright?”
Alec sniffed hard, looking at the wall. “Yeah, just… Need some air.”
“You want to spar with me? I’m getting bored using those dummies.” He offered, eyes darting over Alec’s face, trying to assess what exactly the younger man was feeling.
Alec sighed. If he went back to his room, he might do something stupid like call Magnus. He needed to keep busy, keep his mind off the fact that he’d just ruined any chance at happiness he had in one fell swoop. “Sure,” he answered after a moment’s pause. He met Hodge’s eyes, and it struck him that he felt absolutely no attraction to him whatsoever anymore. For a long time, Alec had felt vaguely uncomfortable around the weapons master, getting a little hot in the face when Hodge touched him casually, struggling to hold eye contact just in case Hodge saw the barest hint of affection in them. Now, though, the only man Alec could see himself holding was Magnus. Perhaps he’d never really been interested in Hodge; perhaps he’d simply been curious as to what it would be like to be admired by a man.
It was wonderful, he’d learned.
It was just a shame that nothing could ever come of it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At the cemetery, Luke, Raphael and Clary sat in silence next to Simon’s grave. Clary was deep in thought, lost in all the memories that she’d shared with Simon, praying that she’d get to make more in the future. Simon was her oldest and most loyal friend, the one that had protected her all their lives, and who she’d failed to protect. If Simon came back, she promise herself, she would never put Valentine and the shadowhunters before him, not ever again.
“You know what my favourite memory is, of you and Simon?” Luke asked, staring up at the moon. It was two days from full, and he could feel it under his skin.
Clary hummed a questioning tone.
Luke smiled, shaking his head a little. “It’s that time when you were… Oh, maybe twelve? And you came barrelling into the apartment, terrified because you realised halfway home that Simon had forgotten to pay for his bottle of soda. He genuinely thought he was going to jail, and you were determined to come clean to me so I could protect you. I remember looking into Simon’s face, and his glasses were two sizes too big for him, and he looked like he wanted to vomit from pure guilt and fear.” Luke chuckled, shaking his head. “And when I told you it was no big deal, you both immediately started insisting that stealing was wrong, and that Simon had to pay for what he’d done. Neither of you would calm down until me and your Mom promised to take you back to the shop to give them some money.”
“And Simon gave the shop-keeper his whole $5 allowance.” Clary said quietly, tears welling hot in her eyes.
“Yeah,” Luke sighed. “I’ve never known a boy so patient, so loving, and so good. You know, before you came out, I thought for sure someday you and Simon would be together. I remember thinking when you went to homecoming together in your first year of high school, that Simon was the only boy I’d ever trust with my little girl.”
Clary smiled, and reached over to squeeze Luke’s hand. “He’s the best.”
“Yeah. His strength is easy to underestimate, Clary, but it’s there. He’s like steel.” Luke insisted, scooting closer to her. “You know where that strength comes from?”
“His determination?”
“His love. His love for us, our love for him, his mom’s love… That’s what’s going to bring him out of that hole.” Luke told her. “The shadowhunters, the Lightwoods and the others, they’re going to try to convince you that emotions complicate life. That they make life harder. And that might be true, I don’t know. But love is what our family is made of, and it’s why we’ve survived all these years with Valentine breathing down our necks. You can’t let go of that love, okay?”
Clary nodded, laying her head on Luke’s shoulder. “I promise I won’t let them change me.”
“Good,” Luke grumbled, kissing the top of her head.
The two of them stiffened as they felt a faint trembling under their feet, and Raphael moved quickly, grabbing the blood bags he’d brought with him as Simon’s hand burst through the soil. Luke and Clary got to their feet, Luke dragging Clary back a few feet.
“He’s going to be hungry,” Luke explained as she gave him a defensive look. “Let Raphael at him first.”
It took only a few seconds for Simon to climb out of the ground, his new strength helping him shove the loose earth aside. An inhuman hissing sound burst from his lips as he raised his head to look at them, and Raphael snapped the seal off a bag and threw it to him.Simon snatched it up, draining it in three long gulps. Clary watched with horror as her best friend greedily drank his way through four bags of blood, Luke holding her back with a hand on her shoulder.
“Drink up,” Raphael soothed, tossing the fifth bag. Simon drank it a lot more slowly, looking around curiously once it was empty.
“Clary,” Simon said, eyes wide. “What-What’s happening?”
Clary glanced at Luke, who let her go, and she took a couple of steps towards Simon. “You um,” Clary said quietly, “you died.”
“What? No, I… I’m not dead, though.” Simon pointed out, the words a little slurred around the fangs that had grown during his transformation. “What was I drinking? I-it… Is that blood?!” He yelped, scrambling away from the empty bags. “Oh my g-” He choked.
“You can’t say it right now,” Raphael told him, “but you’ll learn. There’s a lot you’ll need to learn. But your clan are here for you. As are your family.”
“Yeah, we’re here for you, Simon. All of us,” Luke insisted.
Simon sobbed dryly, trying over and over to say ‘oh my god’, like that could prove somehow that all of this was a bad dream. Eventually, he pounded the earth with his fists, and looked up at the three people watching him.
“Am I a vampire?” Simon asked, eyes shining with tears.
Clary whimpered, and nodded.
“Clary, tell me this isn’t real, tell me this is a joke, this can’t be happening!” Simon begged, digging his fingers into his own grave.
“I’m sorry, Simon, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” Clary cried, stepping closer to him.
Simon squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m a monster.”
“That’s not true,” Luke said gently. “You’re still the same. I promise.”
“You’re the same Simon I’ve known my entire life,” Clary nodded, “the same guy who loves sci-fi, who can recite every line from every Nicolas Cage movie… Who… Who… Once felt so guilty for accidentally stealing a bottle of soda that you paid the clerk back five times over. You’re still the same.”
Simon shook his head. “No, no, I’m not, I’m not. Look at me!” His fingers were molded around his fangs, whimpering at the feel of them, intrusive in his mouth. “Look at me…”
Clary lunged forward, falling to her knees in front of him. “Simon, I will always love you. No matter what.”
“No. No. Please…” Simon fell backwards, stumbling to his feet. “Stay away from me! Stay away…”
With a stiff breeze, Simon disappeared into the night.
“I’ll look after him,” Raphael promised, nodding at Clary before taking off after the young fledgling.
“What did I do?” Clary breathed, pressing her hands into the blood-wet dirt of Simon’s grave as Luke knelt down next to her. “What did I do?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Izzy tapped her pen against the desk, her narrowed eyes staring at the computer screen in front of her. Sighing, she stood and made her way over to the microscope, checking for the fourth time. It was definitely angel blood in the forsaken’s system.
“Why would you have angel blood?” She asked the corpse, looking over her shoulder.
What was the point of injecting angel blood into a human? Was Valentine trying to make a shadowhunter? He’d know that wouldn’t work, he was a scientist, he’d have at least that basic knowledge. So what could angel blood do that demon blood couldn’t?
Izzy’s eyes went wide as she put the pieces together. Demon blood couldn’t get through the wards of the institute, but angel blood could. The other forsaken had gone after Luke, Valentine’s old parabatai. So there could be a second forsaken going after Hodge, Valentine’s second in command… And it would need angel blood to get through the wards!
Before she could even finish the train of thought, Izzy had run out of the laboratory, yelling at people to get out of her way as she desperately sprinted through the corridors. Hodge would be in the training room, she guessed, working.
As she rounded the corner, what she saw chilled her blood.
Alec was on the floor, not moving, as Hodge fought the second forsaken with a couple of knives. Just as Izzy grabbed for a sword of her own, Hodge got the upper hand, and broke the forsaken’s neck with an unmistakable crunch. Dropping the sword, Izzy ran to her brother’s side.
“Alec? Alec, are you okay?” She asked, relieved to see that his eyes were already open.
“Yeah, I think so,” Alec croaked, hissing in pain as he sat up. “He clipped me on the head, but I think my arm’s worse.”
Sure enough, there was blood seeping through his shirt where the forsaken’s mace had pierced Alec’s shoulder. He clutched at the wound, his jaw clenching at the wave of pain that wracked his body.
“It came out of nowhere,” Hodge panted, “how did it get through the wards?”
“It had angel blood,” Izzy told them. “Valentine found a loophole. He sent the forsaken to kill off people who’d betrayed him. I think its mission was to kill you.”
Hodge and Alec looked at each other, wondering if Hodge was the only target, or whether Maryse and Robert were also on Valentine’s hit list.
Only time would tell.
#transgender alec lightwood#shadowhunters fanfic#shadowhunters fanfiction#fighting the good fight#ftgf verse#content#writing
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Questions For Zodiac sings
What’s up guys hello how are you? Welcome to your favorite podcast
For today’s episode, we are gonna answer the questions for the zodiac signs,
okay in TikTok there's a guy who asks questions his name is Brennan I really don't know if I'm pronouncing his name right I'm sorry, well the thing is you have to do a duet to answer them and I think it's really funny, okay he has a series of questions for all the signs of the zodiac, I don't really know if I believe in the zodiac or not but I think it's funny, plus most of the time they always have something good to throw you off, I really don't like to classify myself as an Aries, Leo, Gemini or any sign, I don't even know who or what I am, so today I'm going to answer all the questions.
So let's get started.
Aries March 21- April 20
Are you really a Control Freak? Kinda
Besides your self who is your favorite leader? Ellon Musk Period
When do you feel the most alive? okay four things car, night, cool music, friends yeah PERIODT
Why are you jumping into relationships? This question is not for me. I've never been in a relationship
Best kissers? I don’t think I am, I’m on average
Favorite color red? No
Lucky Number 9? I don’t have lucky number
How rich do you want to be? I really don’t want to be rich I just want to have a decent life, but I want to save the world so I think a lot.
Would you be a great president? No
What big secret are you keeping? I don’t have a big secret, sometimes the people are more boring that every one thing
Okay, guys, this was the question for the Aries. I think I'm 50 percent, Aries.
Next
Leo july 23- Agust 22
How stubborn are you? omg like a 100 percent I really am stubborn
The biggest heart? No
Prefer to be around other people? yes
who are you most jealous of? nobody really
Favorite color purple? No
Like being treated as royalty? if who doesn't?
Most attracted to Aries? kinda
Who’s your favorite comedian? i don’t have one
How do you react when someone ignores you?
It depends on the form and the case but I guess I get angry because it's rude or if it's in the form of relationship I think I'm still trying
How loud i your roar?
okay I think I'm 60 percent Leo I don't know if this is good or bad because a lot of people say it's the most hated sign
Okay next
Gamini may 21-June 20
Social butterfly?
I think it's when you go from place to place all the time and mix with all kinds of people so if I'm a social butterfly
Always changing your mind? cuz I have issues bro, I’m not stable, I don’t have emotional intelligence and I know cuz I made the test for know it
How well do you handle stress? I think I’m in the average
two personalities? I have about a thousand, I think I'm going to name them, I think i have a problem
Last important decision? make this episode and wake up
Is your mind always racing with thoughts? yea but I’m trying to do yoga cuz maybe in the future that can be a problem
favorite color yellow? No
slow to commit to relationships? no
What’s your IQ? I don’t know I think is low and I hate then
How flirty are you? like a 9 I’m sorry mom
i think I’m a 70 percent Gemini
so next
Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21
ask a lot of questions? sometimes
how energetic are you? i think a lot
good at giving advice? I'm the worst. I can give general advice like how to take care of yourself, drink water, but in specific problems I can't do it.
Too generous? no really
How optimist are you? 5 I'm very realistic but I think anything is possible
Can you make people laugh?On a scale of one to ten, I'd say an eight
Reaction when someone lies to you?I can't remember the last time I discovered a lie, but I guess I get angry
Fav color blue? omg yess i really love blue but in blue clothes I think I look great. I don't know. Blue is my color.
The most intelligent zodiac sing? idk
Been mistaken as rude? no
I'm just gonna say I love the color blue
next
aquarius jan 20- feb 19
Are you shy and quiet? No
Hard to trust other people?
no but i think that is a problem
The best listeners? i can listen but im not the best
friends first? no
hate being alone? i enjoy being alone
How do you help people?in any way possible
fav color black? no
Reaction when someone disagrees? I get stressed out
How many times have you broken a promise? I don't remember making a promise to anyone except myself, and I'm not going to break it.
How often do you just lose it? idk
Libra sep 23- oct 22
Are you a peacekeeper? kinda
how charming are you? four of 10
What is your motto? You can do everything
Admit when you’re wrong? its super hard for me
Talk someone out of something dumb?yeah
Make big plans? yeah because i really want a good life and for that i need big plans
Living your best life? im trying
fav color pink? no but its one of my favorites
Why are you indecisive? I really don't think that I'm indecisive
What do you daydream about? collage, my crush, and be independent
Cancer june 21- july 22
How persuasive are you? I'm not persuasive. I'd like to be.
How much do you like art? 100% i really love music, movies, films, paint but I'm not good at creating it, so I think it's better to catch it
Are you insecure? kinda but im trying to fix it
How emotional are you? a lot
How big is your imagination? not a lot
Favorite place to go with friends? State fair
Favorite family member? im
Fav color white? no
Favorite tv show? euphoria
How moody are you? 4 of ten
Virgo Aug 23- Sep 22
How sensitive are you? 8-10
Afraid to speak in front of people? no
Get mad when people don’t follow rules? sometimes
Why do you worry so much? because i have issues
What do you do to stay healthy? I exercise 30 minutes a day, try to sleep early and drink lots of water
Hate asking for help? I don't hate it but it scares me
Favorite animal? I think the chicken is the best animal in the world because you don't need to kill it to survive like cows or pigs, I love the egg and it can be your best friend forever having a give and take relationship for life, I think it's beautiful
Fav color gray? no
You talk to your self? Yes, and that's a problem, which is why I created this podcast
How clean is your room? 4- 10
scorpio oct 23- nov 22
Why are you so stubborn? because you have to fight for what you want to have
Are you a “True friend”? yeah
How brave are you? 7- 10
What are you most passionate about? help people
How secretive are you? As a two, I hate secrets because they give me worries and I like to be in complete peace
What pokemon would you be? pikachu
Need to be right all the time? people think that, but the truth is that I like to give my opinion and talk when I know about it, I don't like to talk about things I don't know because they can cause problems, so yeah i need it
Fav color red? no
Scale 1-10 how much of a joker are you? 6
Always tell the truth? no but I’m not a liar
Taurus April 21 may 20
How patient are you? 2
Are you practical? yeah super and that��s why i don’t have a lot of patience
Do you like drees up? sometimes
How responsible are you? 8
Scale 1-10 do you like to cook? 8 I love cooking, following recipes but I don't like how I cook, the taste of my dishes is horrible
Are you opposed to change? no im pro-change, change is always good and some ways
Good at minding your own business? I hate drama, getting into trouble that's not mine, I hate that kind of stress so I try to stay away from places where I'm not called, its for my mental health
Fav color green? no
Easy to make money? no really but i have some ideas
Most reliable zodiac sign? idk
Capricorn dec 22 jan 19
How disciplined are you? like a 7
Are you a “know it all”? no, but that’s my goal
Are you a family person? no
Would you be a good manager? no but i can try it
Is tradition important to you? no really
Do you expect the worst? sometimes
Coke or pepsi products? coke but i like pepsi too
fav color brown? no
Fav music Genre? pop and rap
Do you learn from your mistakes? sometimes
pices feb 20 march 20
are you a compassionate person? yeah
hate to be criticized? if it's not constructive to hate it
why are you always sad? im not sad always im neutral
what are you most fearful of? losing an arm or a leg, an eye, having one of those kinds of accidents, I think it's for brave people to be able to overcome that and I'm not that brave person I'd rather die
Do you play any instruments? no i wish
favorite season?fall I love it with all my being, it's cold and hot at the same time, hallowen, the sky is always beautiful, pumpkins, the color of the leaves I don't know if I could live in one season it would be fall
the wisest zodiac sing? idk
fav color purple? no
sleep all the time? no i hat sleep
do you trust everyone? no really
okay friends these were the questions for the zodiac signs, i really liked answering the questions, i'm going to post the profile of the person who created these tiktoks in case you want to make them, all the information is on my twitter, i really liked this episode i really don't like to classify myself and i think i have something from everyone, in the end we are all the same, we all have insecurities, good things and bad, so see you guys in the next episode hugs and kisses
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https://linktr.ee/Sprinkling_Kindness
Apple Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sprinkling-kindness/id1518358101
Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/show/6sRbt534HdK7ApK26fOneJ
And more for FREE
We have one Official page from our podcast where you can find all the information that you need to know about our podcast
https://sites.google.com/view/sprinklingkindness/principal-page
#podcast#apple podcasts#zodiac#sings#zodiac signs#zodiac side of tumblr#Spotify#aries#virgo#leo#cancer zodiac#geminies#questions#test#sagitarius#acuario#libra#scorpio#tauro#stars#capricorn#pices
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Tumblr just deleted an entire manifesto about how the american education system is corrupt and benefits nobody my personal experinces in each subject and how the counslers and teachers treated me how bullying should be used as a tool to destroy weak traits and seperate the freaks from the normal people how jesse eisenberg plays the same character in every movies yet i call every role he has amazing and am captivated at watching an actual ocd anxiety ridden actor throat punch people he plays steve jobs better then steve himself not fucking steve facebook fucker mark i said steve because i thought of seth rogen playing fetch with maude apatow in knocked up where he fucked that annoying cat commercial lady cause apparently shes so fucking annoying no one will work with her so she is forced to do cat food commercials to pay her bills because the only people that know her now are delusional middle aged divorcees who watch lifetime murder porn because the only way they can get off is by fantasizing about killing their husbands or decaptitating and kidnapping some married guys kids cause he talked to her at the water cooler at the office the office is the most overrated fucking tv show known to mankind the only good thing that came from it was steve carrels career if u want to watch some stupid office comedy why not just watch parks and recreation that has the added benefits of having chriss pratt and aubrey plaza stupid fucking easily entertained mole rat teenagers sit there and binge it on netflix then go to school and talk about how they watched office reruns for the twentieth time in a row what do people do when they are home having downtime its crazy to me that there are people that sit and binge tv shows everyday as their main hobby or downtime activity theres only like three good tv shows h2o euphoria and like ededdneddy die tumblr i had a huge post tonight and u ruined it burn in hell suffer eternally satan worshipers
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Mountain Therapy
I’m standing on top of Ijen Volcano in Indonesia hoping that this surreal, pandora-like landscape will not only make me look cool on Instagram but also give me some sort of clarity.
So I’m staring at the sun come up thinking, I would now like an answer to the question that is often in the forefront of my mind please. The question is a simple one – what future do I want to create for myself?
But when you’ve lost touch of yourself in a sea of open tabs and lucrative detours then the answer is not that simple.
As the clouds clear to reveal the turquoise lake below, any sort of insight is smothered by the need to capture this moment and… well… look cool on Instagram.
But there’s another reason why I’m not getting the inspiration I came for. It’s because this place was too easy to get to (well not that easy, a 3 hour night hike through the jungle) and if there’s anything I know well it’s that struggle creates meaning.
For example, when flying many people prefer the aisle seat even though the view from an airplane window can be incredibly beautiful at times. But let’s say they hiked five days for that view. Then it all of a sudden becomes the most wonderful thing they’ve ever seen.
So I know what I need – a real adventure.
I’ve been editing Reality TV the last four months, I’m so freaking hungry for it. And it’s all good because I’m about to get it in the form of a four day trek to the summit of Mt. Rinjani, Lombok.
What you’re looking at is Lake Segara Anak (child of the sea), a 4.4 square mile lake inside the crater of a 12,200 ft (3700 m) Volcano. And yes, that’s another Volcano in the middle of the lake. Really? Yes, really.
Just a quick break down of the mission:
Day 1:
7:00 am hike 7 hours to the top of the crater / 8 miles (13 km) / 5000 ft (1525 m) elevation gain
Day 2:
2:00 am hike 4 hours to the summit for sunrise / 4 miles (6.5 km) / 3600 ft (1,100 m) elevation gain
8:00 am hike 5 hours to the bottom of the lake / 7 miles (11 km) / 5600 ft (1700 m) elevation drop
Day 3:
9:00 am hike 3 hours to a different spot on top of the crater / 3 miles (4.8 km) / 2000 ft (610 m) elevation gain
1:00 pm hike 2 hours towards the base of the mountain / 2.5 miles (4 km) / 1000 ft (305 m) elevation drop
Day 4:
9:00 am hike 2 hours to the base of the mountain / 2.5 miles (4 km) / 1000 ft (305 m) elevation drop
I can’t wait!
I thought Mt. Bromo in Java would be a nice warm up but I’m quickly learning that it’s a bit of a tourist trap.
The problem isn’t so much that people are asking me to take their photos (thanks selfie sticks), it’s that they want me in the photos. I’m a nice guy of course so I agree but I’m plotting out an escape plan.
I see a narrow path alongside the edge of the crater and without any hesitation, I head in that direction. There’s no one there except a German couple who tell me to be very careful if I attempt to walk all the way around the crater.
An hour later I understand what they’re talking about.
The path is uncomfortably narrow and one side is a 60 degree slope ending in what I thought was lava but it’s just boring old sulfur. Either way I wanted an adventure and I’m definitely getting one.
But the experience isn’t really the moment of clarity I was hoping for. Too much focus on keeping myself in the manageable risk zone and not going too far. I mean what’s up with the ground here?? It pretty much falls apart when you step on it. I have no idea what I’m doing in Volcano land. I need a guide.
It’s 5:30 am when Hamdi, the Reza Trekkers Rinjani guide knocks on my door yelling, “Are you ready for this?” Still half asleep and not really sure what’s happening I instinctively respond, “Hell ya I’m ready!” Then I realize I’m not ready at all and I’m late.
Three hours of intense hiking in and out of clouds later, I’m noticing that the porters are zooming past me. Which is pretty impressive considering that they’re barefoot and carrying 85 pounds (39 kg) of supplies.
For real, I’m a bit baffled by this especially because some parts of the trail are borderline rock climbing. Hamdi tells me that he used to be a porter and on the first day of the job he cried. I think he was joking but maybe not.
He says they wear flip flops and sometimes hike barefoot because shoes are too heavy. Hmm… interesting. After my third fall of the day on the crumbling volcanic rock, I asked Hamdi if they ever slip. He gets all serious and looks at me straight in the eyes saying, “No, porters never fall.”
On hour five I'm covered in sweat, my legs are shaking and I start to wonder, “Why am I doing this?!” Then I turn the corner for a new incredible view.
Oh ya, that’s why.
I don’t want to make it seem like this is some superhuman trek. Actually anyone fit can do this. But I will say that some parts are pretty grueling or what one local called Indonesian torture.
We finally make it to the crater rim where Alto, our porter, hands me a plate of fried bananas covered in chocolate and cheese.
As I take a bite out of this unexpectedly delicious Indonesian delicacy, I feel connected to my six year old self who insisted on putting chocolate spread on top of every meal.
The clouds clear just in time to reveal a sunset so magical that I forget all about the mental struggle I had to endure to get there.
I pass out for a couple hours before my alarm goes off at 1:30 am for one of those, where the hell am I, wake up moments. I unzip the tent to see countless stars not only above my head but also straight in front of me. I remember that I’m 8000 ft high on the edge of a Volcano crater in Indonesia.
Awesome!
I strap on my trusty Forsake kicks and follow Hamdi into the darkness.
Three hours of zombie-like hiking later we reach the final mile which is an extremely steep, sand-like dirt ridge, 12,000 ft above normal, breathable air.
There’s that thought again – “Why!?”
But as painful as this is, I feel like some force has me hooked and is slowly reeling me up towards the peak.
Every couple of steps I look up at the Milky Way which is as visible as one of those long exposure photographs. I do a 360 while staring up at the sky, desperately trying to take it all in. I do this often while traveling – frantically scan the landscape as if I’m trying to catch a last glimpse before it disappears.
Then I realize that everything around me isn’t going anywhere and it’s me who will be disappearing. Hopefully after a long life but just in case it doesn’t work out that way, I’ll go happy because of experiences like this.
I’m actually thankful for this unsettling notion that there’s an end creeping up in the horizon. After all it’s this awareness that’s pulling me up the mountain.
It fuels this wild, one way ticket lifestyle of world and potential exploration. It reminds me to choose experiences over possessions, failure over regret and uncertainty over comfort.
In the exact moment the sun shows it’s first spec of light, we reach the summit. The Pyramid shaped shadow of Rinjani in the horizon stands next to Mt. Batur in Bali and the Gili Islands.
The sunrise is over way too fast just like my 20s and it’s already time to begin the long journey down to the crater lake. I take the first step without having to ask myself, “Why?!”
Did someone slip a molly in my cheese banana? Because I’m feeling way too giddy right now considering it’s a five hour journey, 5600 ft down. And wait, is that a monkey??
We descend further and further into an enchanted fairyland that I thought only existed in Disney movies.
On the other side of that grass hill I'm surprised to see a waterfall with hot spring pools on the bottom. Hamdi, that sneaky man, didn’t even tell me where he was taking me. I take a full shower with shampoo and soap under the waterfall. Whatever, I like to be clean, don’t judge!
We walk to a secluded spot on the lake where Alto has already set up the tents and is now fishing for our dinner.
The clouds are covering the Volcano but Hamdi tells me that it’s about 500 ft (150 m) away. He says that a year ago he was at this spot when it erupted.
He couldn’t hike out because there was too much ash so overnight he got the lava show of a lifetime. I told him I wish I could have seen that and he said, “No you don’t. I cried.” Joking again? I’m really not sure.
As the sun sets we have Ikan Goreng (deep fried crispy fish) for dinner which tastes even better than the fancy Bali food I had a week earlier.
At 7 am I unzip my tent to see that the clouds have cleared and the Volcano is right in front of my face. Hamdi hands me a cup of Lombok coffee, I put on some Bon Iver and sink into some sort of trance-like euphoria.
My mind clears. As if a massive delete button was hit on all the unworthy thoughts that dominate my thinking. In this emptiness, something is brewing. Slowly expanding into what I came here for – answers!
For the past couple years I’ve been on a mission to catch up to this 2.0 version of myself that creates the incredible work I know I’m capable of. I know because I’ve caught him before and he elevated me to new heights in record time. Giving me a taste of success and then disappearing.
But in this moment, I can feel him here. I get hit with a flood of ideas for creative pursuits and an unshakable belief in my ability to see them through. I pull out my journal and try to write them all down.
This leads to an important realization. In order to align with this higher self, I have to stop chasing and instead create an environment where he’d want to live.
I think of it as having a good signal. Four bars means that my mind is fully open to possibilities, I work in a peak state with maximum enjoyment. One bar means I’m going to need a lot of coffee just to produce something that I don’t really care about and I doubt anyone else will.
For example, I know that adventures which push me physically and mentally give a certain energy that running on a treadmill in LA fitness just doesn’t create.
As I write down other conditions that could trigger a good signal, I feel an urge to shut my brain down and go for a morning swim in the lake.
After all, I’m not chasing anything right now. I feel content. I’ve arrived somewhere.
After spending some quality time with Lake Segara Anak, we hike up to the top of the crater and then down into the jungle.
I follow Alto on a detour to find a water pipe so we can refill our bottles. We finally find a thin pipe that runs for miles from a river up top to a small village below where it provides clean water for one hundred houses.
He detaches the tube to fill up the bottles and before attaching it back, I take another shower. I make a bold decision to not use shampoo today. Crazy I know but what can I say, I’m living on the edge.
Surrounded by curious monkeys, we set up the tents then have ramen for dinner. I go inside to relax but accidentally doze off and sleep like a baby until the morning.
We wake up early and complete the trek with an easy two hour hike down to the base of the mountain. I say goodbye to Alto and Hamdi who are still making fun of my ridiculous shower needs.
Feeling accomplished, I make my way to the south of Lombok where I can do nothing on the beach for a couple days.
If any part of you is intrigued by doing a trek like this then you should absolutely book a ticket right now. Just be careful because if you’re anything like me, your automatic excuse generator might kick in saying things like – I’m not fit enough, too old, can’t sleep in tents, scared of heights, not now maybe next year… etc. etc.
If this happens, try telling this voice, “Sorry buddy. I’m gonna go ahead and do this one anyways.” It’ll make one more desperate attempt to stop you, “Wait! What about altitude sickness??” Just hit him with a calm, cool, “Nope. Sorry.”
Why? Because sometimes it feels like you become as tall as the mountains you choose to climb.
- Yali
P.S. Whenever life's craziness causes anxiety, I just think of the Rinjani porters and I feel okay again. I used to think of my greatest accomplishments but this works much better.
#Mount Rinjani#Mt. Rinjani#Rinjani#trek rinjani#hiking#trekking#rinjani distance#rinjani elevation#adventure blog#travel blog#ijen volcano#indonesia#indonesia travel#indonesia adventures#mt. bromo#bromo#volano#volcano hiking#rinjani miles#rinjani guide#adventure photography#travel#whereisyali#inspiration#inspire#amazing treks#turquoise lake#inspirational blog post#lombok#lava
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