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storiesforallfandoms · 1 year

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more than a song ~ alex turner

word count: 2937

request?: yes!

“hi lovely! i wanted to request an alex turner x reader. just something based off of the song you’re so dark by arctic monkeys. he’s been friends with you for a while but a side comment from his girlfriend (something just like she doesn’t get how they’re just friends) and it’s just snaps into place. ig just him writing the song and moments of them together. maybeeeee him jacking off imagining her on all fours 👀. something like that! thank youuuuu”

description: in which he starts by writing a song about his best friend who is much different than him, and it turns into something more

pairing: alex turner x female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut (male masturbation), kind of cheating since alex is imagining the reader and not his girlfriend (who will be a made up character, not his real girlfriend louise), also the reader doesn’t really know what alex was doing so idk take that into consideration? idk these warnings are a mess now

masterlist (one, two, three)

It all started with a comment his girlfriend, Cheryl, made.

“She’s so dark. How are you two friends?”

They had just left a night out with Alex’s bandmates and his best friend, (Y/N). It was the first time the two women had met, which Alex was hoping would go well since both of them meant so much to him. They had just barley left the bar when Cheryl made the comment.

It amused him so much that he couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Why do you say that?”

Cheryl gave Alex a look. “Really?”

He stopped walking so he could turn to face her. “I’m serious. What do you mean she’s dark?”

“Alex...she talked for nearly an hour about HP Lovecraft and Edgar Allan Poe.”

Alex waited, expecting her to explain why that was a bad thing. When she didn’t, he said, “Yeah, those are her favorite authors.”

“They’re very depressing authors.”

Alex shrugged. “I’ve never read any of their stuff.”

Cheryl closed her eyes and sighed. “She’s got a very dark personality, Alex. Like murder of crows follow her around, Addams family’s long lost member dark. It’s just weird to me that you’re her friend when she’s so depressing.”

“Hey, you may think that, but she’s still my best friend. I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t insult her like that.”

Cheryl crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him. “Maybe I should be questioning your friendship with her in different ways.”

It was safe to say the night did not go as planned. Alex brought Cheryl home in a tense silence. He gave her a chaste kiss on her cheek before she got out without a word, slamming her door shut behind her.

The night had definitely left a slight strain on their relationship. Cheryl had decided that she hated (Y/N) just because of this idea she had that Alex and (Y/N) had romantic feelings for one another, but Alex refused to end his friendship with her when that wasn’t true at all, and when he had known (Y/N) for so much longer than Cheryl. So, even though they decided to continue their relationship, it wasn’t exactly smooth sailing.

But Cheryl’s comment about (Y/N)’s personality stuck in Alex’s mind. He had never noticed a “darkness” to his best friend. She was just (Y/N), the person Alex had known since they were kids. But now he was thinking about the things she liked, and the way she acted and just her general personality. He found himself humming to himself around his apartment; a melody at first, but eventually lyrics started forming in his mind.

“You got your HP Lovecraft. Your Edgar Allan Poe.”

He quickly rushed to his work desk to scribble down the lyrics as they came to his head.

“You got your unkind ravens, and your murder of crows.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as he thought of Cheryl’s comment about (Y/N) being like a murder of crows. What Cheryl didn’t know was that (Y/N) had a tattoo along the backside of her left shoulder that was a flock of black birds. They weren’t distinguishable birds, but she often said it was a murder of crows since they were black birds. Cheryl would probably have lost her mind if (Y/N) was wearing anything that would’ve showed off that tattoo.

Thinking of Cheryl caused his mind to wander to the turmoil of their relationship. He looked down at the verse and chorus he had written about (Y/N) and thought about the fact that he was in the process of writing a song for his best friend when he had never had thought about writing one for Cheryl at all since they started dating. Maybe Cheryl was right to think Alex felt stronger feelings than friendship for (Y/N).

He shook his head. No, that’s not it. She’s my best friend since we were kids, and I’ve only known Cheryl for a few months. That’s all it is.

“I know you’re nothing like mine, cause she’s walking on sunshine. And your love would tear us apart.”

Alex was at his desk for nearly an hour putting the song together. He had two full verses and a rough outline for the chorus, but it still needed something more. He was toying around with more lyrics when he started writing, “You watch Italian horror and you listen to the scores. Leather-clad and spike collar, I want you down on all fours.”

“Whoa,” he muttered to himself. “Where the fuck did that come from?”

But now that he had written it, he couldn’t help but picture (Y/N) doing exactly what he had written: on his bed, down on all fours, her ass in the air.

He shook his head. “No,” he scolded himself. “No, stop. This is wrong.”

But he couldn’t stop. He closed his eyes and the image was embedded into his eyelids. He felt himself straining against his jeans as he imagined himself knelt behind her, looking down at her ass in the wear, wearing only a pair of lacy black underwear.

He groaned as he palmed himself through his jeans. The desire was far too strong to ignore. He had to take care of this, otherwise he knew he’d have a nasty ache between his legs that he would not be able to get rid of.

Just one time, he thought. Then I’ll never think of her like this again.

Alex unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them and his boxers down to his knees. His dick was hard as a rock and angry red. He hissed as the cool air touched the sensitive area. He spit on his hand and wrapped his hand around the base. His head tipped back as a moan erupted from his throat.

He closed his eyes and the image of (Y/N) appeared again. Her face buried into the pillow beneath her, moans muffled by the fabric of the pillow. Alex’s dick plunging in and out of her tight pussy, her ass bouncing every time his hips collided with it. He imagined that her moans were as pretty as her regular voice was. Picturing that pretty voice moaning his name caused his dick to twitch in his hand.

The wet sounds of his hand stroking his dick mixed with his heavy breathing and moans filled the room. His mind drifted from having her bent over in front of him to having her sat on his lap in the very chair where he was sat. He imagined (Y/N), still just in a matching lingerie set, pulling him away from his songwriting so she could climb up onto his lap and straddle him. He imagined her pulling the fabric of her panties to the side, a string of arousal connecting her needy hole and the underwear. He could almost feel the warm, wetness of her walls as she sunk herself down onto him, and her lips on his neck as she started to ride him.

“Fuck,” he grunted. “God, that feels so good.”

His desire to have her grew, even though he knew he never would. She was his best friend. There was no way she felt this way for him, too. And he definitely was not going to risk their friendship by bringing these feelings up to her. More than anything, (Y/N) was his friend and he wasn’t about to lose her all together. For now, the only way he’d have her would be in his imagination, and he was more than okay with that.

Behind his closed eyes he could see (Y/N)’s perfect tits bouncing in his face. He squeezed the base of his dick a little tighter as his jerking motions became quicker, almost more desperate. He could feel his high creeping up on him, and he was desperately trying to chase it.

In his mind, (Y/N) was leaning into his ear. In a sexy, sultry voice, he pictured her whispering, “Cum for me, Alex.”

And that was all he needed to go tumbling over the edge. He called out her name into his empty apartment as his hot cum spilled over his hand, lap, and some on his shirt. He mentally cursed to himself for not preparing more for the mess, but physically he felt incapable of fixing it. He let his head rest on the back of the chair as he breathed heavily. When he opened his eyes to finally face reality, he was looking up at the ceiling instead of at (Y/N)’s beautiful face.

There was a slight ringing in his ears as the blood flow from his brain to his dick finally went down. It was loud enough that he almost didn’t hear his phone vibrating on the desk and took him a moment to realize someone was trying to call him. He reached out with his clean hand to look at the caller ID, and his heart skipped a beat when (Y/N)’s name and face popped up on his screen.

Against his better judgement, Alex answered. “Hello?”

“Where the fuck are you?” (Y/N) asked, a joking tone in her voice. “I’ve sent you, like, five text messages.”

Alex pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at the lockscreen to see that (Y/N) had in fact tried to text him.

“Hey fucker, what are you doing?”

“Hello? Alex?”

“Quick wanking off and answer me.” (That one both made him laugh and made his heart pound harder against his chest.)

“Listen, can I come over? I wanted to talk about something.”

“I really hope the reason you’re not answering is not what I think.”

“Sorry, I was - uh - I was busy writing,” he said. It wasn’t entirely a lie. “I got really into it and had my phone on silent. Didn’t even know you were texting me. What’s going on? Is everything alright?”

“Well, I’m currently parked outside your place. Can I come in to talk about it?”

He felt his blood run cold. (Y/N) was outside his place right now trying to come in to talk to him, meanwhile he was sat at his work desk with cum over himself after jerking off to the thought of her.

This truly could not be any worse.

“Yeah! Yeah, just give me a second,” he said, quickly trying to figure out a solution to this.

“Alex, I’ve known you for years, you do not have to tidy the place up for me,” (Y/N) said.

“I know, I just need to...I just have to do something before you come in. Give me a second.”

He hung up before (Y/N) could protest any further. He quickly took off his already cum-stained shirt and used it to wipe off his hand and the area around his dick. He threw the shirt with the rest of his dirty clothes, tucked himself back into his jeans, and found a new shirt to put on. Just as he was pulling the shirt over his head, the doorbell started ringing. He quickly raced to his front door and threw it open to reveal (Y/N) stood there.

“Are you done whatever you had to do?” she asked, but pushed past him before he could answer.

“Come on in, make yourself at home,” he teased as he followed her in.

“I always do,” she said with a smirk. “You’re lucky I respect your privacy enough that I didn’t just get that hidden spare key and barge in here before I called.”

Very, very lucky for that, actually.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” he asked her as they reached his living room. “Your texts sounded serious.”

(Y/N) sighed and flopped down onto his couch. Alex sat across from her, leaving a decent amount of space between them. His mind was still reeling from the mental images from earlier that he wasn’t sure if he trusted himself to be so close to (Y/N) right now.

But she seemed very troubled, which was very concerning to him. (Y/N) always talked to him when something was wrong, but very rarely did she physically come over to his place to talk about something. He knew whatever it was had to be very serious for her to show up so suddenly like this.

“I ran into Cheryl at the store just now,” she said, looking down at her lap. “And...well...I know she doesn’t like me. I’m not stupid. I know there’s a reason she doesn’t come out anymore when she knows I’m there, and our brief run ins since we first met always include a glare whenever she sees me. Don’t even try to deny it, Alex.”

He wasn’t going to, but his mouth had been open to speak. He wasn’t even sure what he would’ve said, so he closed his mouth again and allowed her to go on.

“I saw her and decided just to try and avoid her. I expected her to do the same. There was really no reason for her to approach me when it was just her, so I thought. But she came right up to me in the middle of an aisle and she...well, the best way to describe it is she went off on a tirade about not liking me and how she wishes you would just stop being friends with me, and even told me that I should be the one to end our friendship so that she didn’t have to stress about me and you anymore.”

Alex’s hands balled into fists on his lap. He couldn’t believe Cheryl would really go up to (Y/N) like that when he wasn’t around. Like (Y/N), he figured that Cheryl would’ve just walked the other way and left her alone since she disliked her so much. But to go up to his best friend in a public and to go as far as telling her to stop being friends with him for the sake of a relationship that wasn’t even a month in was further than he ever expected her to go.

“I thought you weren’t responding because she got to you first,” (Y/N) continued. “I thought she was going to come to you with some made up bullshit saying that I was the one who attacked her or something.”

“I haven’t heard from her,” Alex said. “I guess she’s waiting till whenever I see her next.”

“Listen, I’m sorry that I’m causing this strain on your relationship - ”

Alex reached out to take (Y/N)’s hand to cut her off. The contact sent a spark through him, but he tried his best to ignore it.

“You’re not the one causing any strain to my relationship. Cheryl is. She’s the one who is feeling so insecure about our relationship that she has to go as far as calling you down to the dirt while I’m not around. I’ve tried everything to assure her there’s nothing to worry about between us, but it’s not enough for her. I think...I don’t think I can continue this relationship with her. Especially not after what you told me.”

(Y/N) looked down at their joined hands. In a soft voice she said, “She’s a fucking bitch.”

Alex smiled and chuckled softly. (Y/N) did as well, and eventually, they were both laughing at her comment.

When the laughter died down silence fell over them. Neither one of them knew how to break it, but they didn’t really feel like they had to. Silence always felt comfortable between the two of them. They never felt like they had to speak if they didn’t want to. They could just sit like this for hours and it would be fine.

But their hands were still joined together. (Y/N) was tracing circles in the back of his hand with her thumb, almost absentmindedly. He liked the feeling of her hand against his. He never wanted to let go of her.

“You said you were writing when I came?” she finally asked, looking up at him. “Anything good?”

“Oh, um, I think so? I haven’t really put it together properly. It’s just a couple verses and a chorus that I have to finish.”

“Can I hear it? Or see what you have written, at least?”

His face burned at the question. He knew he was definitely blushing by the way that a confused look creeped on (Y/N)’s face. How did he show her this song, which was clearly about her and included a line about wanting to fuck her, and not absolutely ruin their friendship in this moment?

“I-I guess, if-if you wanted to,” he stuttered. “But, um...it’s...it’s a little embarrassing because...well, you were my muse for it.”

Her face seemed to brighten. “Really? You were writing about me?”

“Yeah. There’s some lyrics...well, you’d know it was about you the song is released so I guess there’s no getting around it, there’s some lyrics that are a bit...more than friendly.”

And there it was. There was no taking it back.

He watched her face, trying to gauge what her reaction to that revelation would be. She was just looking at him for a moment, as if registering his words, before a smirk crept across her face.

“Then show me,” she told him, her voice low and sultry the exact same way it had been in his imagination.

And Alex swore he had never been more excited than in that moment.

#alex turner #alex turner imagine #alex turner x reader #alex turner smut #arctic monkeys #arctic monkeys imagine #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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goo-berz · 4 months

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Talking about Vivziepops' weird art of minors

I've never been the biggest fan of Vivziepop, I've always knew about their weird behavior (since like 2018 ~ 2019) before they were as popular as they are now.

She has done a lot of weird stuff but the thing I mainly wanna focus on in this post is their character Addison. Addison is a 17 year old gay effeminate fox humanoid from Zoophobia, he's in a relationship with a 19 year old Teacher's assistant named Gustav. Many people get confused by this but Addison has been CONFIRMED to be 17 years old by Vivziepop. Someone had changed Addison's Fandom Wiki page back in 2019 to say they're 18, when this is not true, Vivzie has confirmed they're 17. I did go back and change the age to 17 on the Wiki with the correct age in hopes that people stop believing incorrect information.

Vivzie confirming their age: https://twitter.com/vivziepop/status/1128064633166712832

The tags in this post brings up the fact that Addison is nearly 18 - not 18 yet - They're still 17.

Edit: Oh yeah, I want to add on context to this tag: "I should mention the characters canon ages are higher then when I first made them because as I wrote the story any big age gaps were uncomfy"

I've heard multiple older fans of Vivziepop say that Addison was originally meant to be 14-15 years old, and I've heard that Gustav was originally meant to be in his 30s.

Addison was created 2010, She began shipping Gustav with Addison in 2011, and Zoophobia began in 2012. So the fact she shipped a 14-15 year old character with a 30 year old one to begin with, and encouraged her friend to draw intense NSFW art of them together is so.. weird.

Anyways, Vivzie also hints at Addison being a minor, using wording indicating how young they are in age in their Blogpost introducing the character

"I finally created a few concepts, but the one I have been toying with the most is a young character much like Gale. An albino boy, with an identical albino sister"

If you need more proof, Addison is also preyed on by Mirage, a character that SPECIFICALLY goes after minors... that's basically her main personality trait, that she's a p3d0. She goes after Addison because he's a young submissive boy and easy to manipulate.

Anyways, back on topic. I personally I don't see anything wrong with the age gap of 17 & 19, however I do think it's weird to have this relationship between Addison and Gustav.. he's not exactly a teacher, but he still holds power over Addison due to the fact he's the voluntary teacher's assistant. Back when Zoophobia was popular there were people who found this dynamic weird & creepy considering the fact that Addison is basically a student under Gustav. Also, I just wanna bring this up because I find this weird, Gustav was originally under the impression that Addison was a year one student and much younger than he actually is, yet he still tried to flirt with him.. erm..? Yeah..

Anyways, that isn't the main point. The point is that Vivzie DREW NSFW OF HER 17 YEAR OLD CHARACTER AND HIS 19 YEAR OLD TEACHER... erm.. holy cracker balls? Literally how can anyone excuse these?

Vivzie also drew Gore of Addison too, but I won't post it here cus it's very graphic and weird and idk why she drew it!!

And .. possibly the worst drawing of them all.. Holy titties what is this... If you're wondering, the stuff under the censors is ACTUAL NSFW. It's not suggestive, or implied s3x, It's their ACTUAL WEE WEEs.

These accounts are poorly archived, so it's hard to find the original post and what it originally said. However after some digging I was able to find out the original text said

“ dollcreep: “ i can only see ‘dark-Günter’ exposing him and addi to a public area like so…so. yeah. Günter says; merry Christmas. god this question is super old. vivz reminded me about it"

So, I'm assuming that Dollcreep drew this, not Vivzie. However I was also able to find out from the limited resources there is that Vivzie reposted this to her accounts Vivzie-zp (unarchived) and ZPanswers, which are also now deleted, but if you view the accounts tumblr archives over the Wayback machine you can see that she did indeed repost this. http://web.archive.org/web/20120801182958/http://zpanswers.tumblr.com/archive

If you don't know, Dollcreep and Vivzie used to be best friends, however aren't anymore. Dollcreep originally designed Gustav, originally named Gunter, and Vivzie bought the design from them. Vivzie designed Addison back around 2010, and taking into account the old caption, this means that Vivzie.. allowed Dollcreep to draw NSFW art of their underaged character ;-; oh my gawd!!! Whatthe heck guys... like I said at this time Addison was still 14 - 15 and Gustav (Gunter) was in his 30s.

Also I want to mention that this drawing was from 2011, so that means Vivzie had this pedophilic ship with Dollcreeps OC for years, & after she bought the rights to the character she decided to.. keep the pedophilic ship and write it into Zoophobia by making him Addisons teacher. That's crazy..?

Anyways, because I brought up Mirage. Mirage is written pretty bad. She was a character meant to be in.. or scrapped from Zoophobia, she was meant to be a villain who preyed on the kids, mainly Addison. Her main trait is that she likes kids

Vivzie's made a bunch of drawings of Mirage preying on kids which I think is pretty weird, especially considering how poorly some of them represent it and make it seem like a joke instead.

and yeah, we all know about this infamous drawing she made of Mirage preying on Kestrel, a 14 year old. Pretty weird

Also when I looked at the web archive of Vivzie's ZPanswers blog (a Zoophobia ask blog) she accepted many weird asks about Kestrel, 14, and Addison, 17, like an ask asking if Kestrel had ever been fucked by a horse & how Kestrel, Addison & others would act when they were drunk. Which is also pretty weird to me I won't lie

Anyways that's all for now. Sorry if this is all over the place its 4am and I just wanted to get my thoughts out that vivziepop is kinda a weirdo

#vivziepop #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #vivzie #zoophobia

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lastoneout · 3 months

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You know what, I just realized something that I can probably add to my list of reasons I'm more ND than I think I am...

So in middle school I found out The Princess Bride was based on a book I immediately decided to read it. But here's the thing, unlike the movie's framing device of a grandfather reading the book to his grandson, the book has one that's basically like an autobiography?? Where the author talks about his grandfather reading him the book as a kid and how it affected him growing up and how, eventually, he decided to "abridge" the original and publish the version you're reading. The author even says Florin and Guilder are real places, and gives "history" on them.

I found(and tbh still find) this part of the book exceptionally boring. It's mean spirted and depressing, and an absolute slog to get through. But I kept trucking through taking everything as complete truth, even though I was pretty sure these countries weren't real places. Europe is big after all and I was in middle school, maybe I just hadn't heard of them before. Thankfully once the "real" book, the story The Princess Bride, actually starts the intersections start to make sense and aren't as boring and I quite liked them more or less, even if they were a little confusing at times. I also read everything after the "real" book ends, an epilog of sorts about the author not being allowed to abridge the sequel bcs Steven King?? Was going to do it?? But there was a bit of this "sequel" included so I read that too.

When my friend, who had leant me the book, asked what I thought, I said I liked it but I didn't understand why the author included all that personal history at the start where he complained about his job and family, it just didn't seem necessary to me and was boring as hell.

My friend informed me that all of that "personal" history wasn't real. The author made it all up. It was as much fiction as the actual story itself. It was satire, you see, and apparently??? very important to read bcs without it you wont "understand" the story. My friend genuinely thought it was super weird that I didn't realize it wasn't true, and also that I didn't like it.

But nah, I thought it was true!! Why would he lie like that?? What was it even satirizing(I still don't really know tbh)?? Why would I need to read all that bs to understand the book?? The story of 'The Princess Bride' made perfect sense on it's own!! I ended up kinda hating the book after that. I felt SUPER betrayed. He said all that stuff like it was true, what on earth was the point of lying?? Didnt he know people would believe him?? Why wouldn't I, after all I almost always tell the truth, lying about all that stuff was dumb and mean and I hated it.

A while later when I brought it up to my godfather he ALSO thought it was silly that I believed all that and didn't get that it was satire, and insisted that it was important for understanding the story.

I still don't get why it's important, and I refuse to read any of it again. When I re-read the book I just skip to where 'The Princess Bride' actually starts and then stop once it's "over". The rest of it is probably important, but to this day I think it's mostly mean spirited and stupid, and idk why he didn't just write the book normally or do what they did in the movie.

Anyway I figure this is like...normal, right? I totally don't have any deeper stuff going on with my brain. When I take assessments I insist I'm great at picking up on sarcasam and satire. Totally great at it. Yeah...

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gray-ace-space · 2 months

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Kind of a mini rant for a second but I feel like that Chris Flemming "was anyone going to tell me?" meme in kind of a fuckton of ways since becoming more aware of just how much ace is in my grayace self

that most people find sex very actively appealing a very large amount of the time??? Like they're not just kinda neutral about it as a default???

That most of the times I've thought "I have a crush on this person" it's just been aesthetic attraction the whole damn time???? Like thinking "oooh pretty"/"Oh no, they're hot" is not usually where it stops for people 99% of the time???

That I don't have amazing self control regarding avoiding teenage pregnancy/ abstaining from sex because of a medication/ not cheating/ stupid sexual purity shit that I was adjacent to bc yay deep south, like my controller was apparently just never fucking plugged in, like it's pretty damn hard to loose a game you aren't playing

Most people find nudity very very very appealing? Like they don't neutral to negative about it??? Like not because I think anything inherently negative about their body I'm just less interested in it naked?? Is that even an ace thing or am I just weird???

Tbh I'm not even sure how gray of an ace I even am bc of all this, like I think there's some gray area, like I've felt some quick pangs of sexual attraction I think??? idk??? I thought the other parts were pretty standard before now so idk???

Like I'm sorry for semi ranting and I know everyone kinda has to figure themselves out for themselves and labels are there to help not define, but like do you have any advice for any of this?

my guy (gender neutral). you are ace as hell.

hahaha no but let me go through these point by point so we can compare notes.

"most people find sex very actively appealing a very large amount of the time" - is that true??? are we sure that's real??

"most of the times I've thought "I have a crush on this person" it's just been aesthetic attraction" - well i get very strong romantic crushes but. any time i say someone is hot i just mean they look cool and i wanna look at them a bunch. maybe some sensual attraction gets mixed in and i like, wanna touch them as well, non-sexually. so. definitely feel u on that

"I don't have amazing self control regarding..." - YEAH. THAT. YEAH. (i was not really deep in the purity culture stuff but as a young teen i was like. what the hell is wrong with everyone. can't they be normal like me)

"Most people find nudity very very very appealing?" - i honestly quite like nudity in a completely not sexual way, just like a body positivity way. maybe it's cause my mom raised me to not be weird about nudity, it's very chill to me and i think most people are beautiful. but i do not have a connection in my brain between nudity and sexual attraction. i do not care. not once in my life have i looked at someone i liked and thought "oh i would like to see them naked". so, is it an ace thing? probably yes

"I'm not even sure how gray of an ace I even am" - this is probably the one where we most diverge because i do actually feel strong enough sexual attraction that i can't mistake it for anything else. it's just that, i think i'm demisexual. so it's for like. 5 people. ever.

are you gray or not? who the hell knows. maybe ur dark gray ace, maybe i'm light gray ace. but i relate to a lot of what you said! it's fucking wild to unpack this stuff. i do not understand allos at all. i'm glad we can agree on that.

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rowretro · 3 months

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𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

WARNINGS: Hardcore Drug usage, underage drinking/smoking, abuse

✧taglist✧: (Idk if there is anyone who asked, but Im starting to confuse every taglist on each series)

✧CHAPTER 4✧

“Are you seriously high this early in the morning? The first lesson hasn’t even started yet fucksake y/n… Riki can’t race tonight because of your junkie ass.” Heeseung complained as the girl rolled her eyes. “Im sober when i'm high or drunk broski, not my fault he’s weak” y/n added as Heeseung facepalmed. The male had walked in on his high sister, snuggled up with a high Riki who had a race scheduled for this very day, beside them a broken, burnt out guitar that had homework stuffed in. She’s one hell of a bad influence on him.

The male wasn’t racing due to his recent high, he couldn’t take the risk of going on the track, speeding and seeing stars before he even got to the juicy part of his young age. He was too young to die. He hated it. God he’d never even look in the direction of coke ever again… So he called her up to smoke some weed after school. “Why did he even do that shit he’s never even done it before…” Heeseung mumbled as y/n frowned, turning to him “That was his first time?” the girl asked, now feeling bad for even agreeing to do coke with him.

“Yeah, guess he wanted to try and since you're a junkie who knows literally every dealer to even breath in South Korea” Hee added as the girl rolled her eyes “he does weed though right?” She asked as Hee frowned “Yeah, anyone could get weed if you think about it, anyways point is, let him influence you, stop influencing him, if you deal any hardcore drugs with anyone, dad will happily give you his position as a drug lord.” Hee pointed out as the girl turned to him, glaring holes into his head, the poor girl failed to notice the obviously closed door before her as she walked into it, hitting her head pretty hard.

“AHH FUCKING FICKLE HEAD- ” She groaned as she sat on the floor "every goddamn time" Hee snickered. Heeseung sat beside her, the two sitting on the freshly mopped school grounds, by the tall lockers. They had arrived early to school since Heeseung was dropping her off. "You know... Riki used to race illegally... and well some one who had connections to a more legal company saw him and his skills which is how he's so famous now." Heeseung pointed out as he turned to her.

y/n sighed as she took a sip of some cold, refreshing gin out of her flask, as she turned to Heeseung "It's not going to happen Heeseung... racing is just a princess dream." Y/n simply said as Heeseung sighed. If it was anyone other than Heeseung Jungwon or Sunoo who dare to even bring up racing with her, that person oughta go home with a rearranged face. It seems Riki was lucky.

It's funny how something someone loves so dearly and always dreamed of having some day, could turn into something they dread so much, they don't want to even hear anything of it. To y/n racing was her first love, her bittersweet lover who left her with a fresh wound that can never be treated. Maybe she stuff a human in that car shaped hole in her heart.

Heeseung patted her head as he got up "The offers always up if you're down to make your dreams come true." Heeseung said as the girl scoffed "I don't have dreams... dreams are for losers" she remarked. "Well, I know a little 7 year old who always annoys me with her dream plans to be a racer in her flaming pink race car with a nice disco ball inside... I'm sure you wouldn't mind making her dreams come true" Heeseung added with a smile, seeing that she didn't spit any snarky comebacks at him.

"Even if she's being a stubborn, annoying and showing me a little attitude, she's still my baby sister... I'd hate for her dreams to disappear like that" Heeseung simply said before leaving the girl with her own thoughts. It's true, her whole childhood, she always wanted to be a racer. She never actually watched any racing programmes, just the fast and furious movies, her favourite being 2 fast 2 furious. Perhaps why the specific pink colour of car

✧𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓✧

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three--rings · 6 months

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So it turns out there were a lot of things from S2 I was waiting to pass judgement on until I saw how they played out and...I ended up not thrilled about. And it's all these little things that keep bothering me.

Things I'm not happy with in OFMD S2:

-Jim and Olu feel retconned into not being in love. Like I know we want to talk about happy polycule but it feels like they aren't even very close this season? They were even more of a secondary ship than Lucius and Pete in S1 but we got essentially no good Jim/Olu stuff in S2. Instead we got the Olu/Zheng Yi Sao romance which on paper sounds good, but lacked chemistry. Especially from Olu's side. I feel like they kept repeating that "break in your day" thing cause they didn't have anything else. IDK weird weird decisions were made. I don't mind the Jim/Archie stuff at all but that was also not given any real romance time. They kissed and then I guess that was that?

-While on the subject of Zhang Yi Sao...why was she there? Like, don't get me wrong, I love her character and her inclusion in the show, but while the build-up in the first few episodes was great, then...they did basically nothing with her. Her entire plan was foiled by a moron in a split second and then..IDK she's now just riding on the Revenge and not even in charge? She's come way down in the world and I don't like it.

-Izzy dying. I don't mind the death scene itself, (though i wanted Izzy's friends on the crew more involved) but I think having him die shifts the genre and is disappointing in a way that feels unlike this show. more to be said obviously but not in this post.

-Speaking of that scene I grow more and more annoyed with Izzy saying "they love you, Ed." Not because it's not a great sentiment that would be narratively meaningful, but because it's NOT DEMONSTRABLY TRUE. Who loves Ed on that crew? Maybe Fang? There was absolutely no moments between Ed and crew after ep 3. They tolerate him for Stede's sake is all I can say. They love Stede. They love Izzy. And then Ed just leaves them and they are probably relieved.

-the way the central problem the whole season with Ed and Stede was communication but they never actually do anything about that, just declare victory.

-the way there was no climax or resolution with any antagonist in the last episode, they just barely escape, swear revenge like they're gonna head into battle, and then retire. Which makes ZERO sense and it bothers me SO MUCH.

-The lack of Stede and Ed costuming. IDK if it's because I've been writing a fic for a year centered around the clothing but like the show feels incomplete if they're not getting to dress up. I was looking forward to Ed wearing more than his leathers and we got a rice sack. This is entirely a personal gripe and not important but, yeah.

-Zero focus on the crew and no new info about any of them. I was really, really looking forward to getting more backstory, more personal info on characters like Roach, Frenchie, Wee John, but no.

And yanno, the thing is that I'm not unhappy with what S2 GAVE us. I like most of it. I love eps 1-6. Though 6 is showing the pacing issues badly. But what I miss is what we DIDN'T get. None of the stuff on screen was bad per se or couldn't have fit into a very excellent, cohesive season of TV. But I feel like all the connective tissue, all the thematic resolution, all the stuff that would have made it shine was missing.

Like they had a bunch of notecards of great scenes and filmed them but forgot to write the parts to connect them in a meaningful way? IDK this season feels a little like a first draft?

Not eps 1-3 though. I feel like they were perfect, and then they ran out of time/energy to polish the rest. (4-5 were also great, but they could have fit in with the rest better ultimately.)

I feel like people who are happy with this season are like 'we got this moment and this scene!' and that's great and cool and I also love that moment but I'm still left unsatisfied by the whole, yanno. Sigh.

#ofmd #ofmd critical #ofmd meta #my meta #I started writing this like thursday but then lost my computer #so yeah #I don't hate it but it's flawed...

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imaginarylungfish · 2 months

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AUDHD 👏 GOJO 👏

I’m right there with you so, in true AuDHD style, I’m zooming into your inbox to infodump because I’m ALWAYS desperate to scream about this (shout out to @ellionwrites for patiently and compassionately listening to my unpolished rambles about a lot of this stuff in private)!

I actually have a LOT of thoughts about 236 and how it’s Gojo’s “unmasking”. That chapter is really emotional for me because of how well it articulates my personal experience of navigating the world as an autistic person. This post (and especially its tags) from right after it came out says it in a much more concise way, but Gojo’s upset pout breaks my heart because, to me, that's evidence of “no matter how much you try, people will misunderstand you” and damn… that hits a little close to home 🥲

It’s why his death had such a strong impact on me, especially when it felt like half the internet was ignoring the actual words Gojo said to claim “he never cared about that stuff, he was arrogant from the start and you just misread him". In combination with “it was the best ending for a character like Gojo" — right after we find out how deeply lonely he’s been, never able to truly connect with anyone after Geto left? Well, it was mindblowingly meta and, therefore, pretty painful to read.

I wrote an analysis of Gojo’s character in 236 and, even though I wasn’t viewing him through an autistic lens for that particular post, I think my words under the cut still read that way — that’s how baked into his character I think this stuff is! I genuinely think the two pairs of sorcerers sitting with their backs to each other is a visual representation of the double empathy problem. I'm not sure autistic and allistic people can ever arrive at a place where we fully understand each other, but that doesn’t mean autistic people have to carry all the burden and remain isolated. That’s why it’s meaningful that Gege makes it clear that all the characters care about each other, even if they don’t see eye-to-eye.

Glad to see you shouting about this reading of his character, because I haven’t seen many people talking about it. Some people are very hostile to ND headcanons, especially for characters as popular as Gojo, which is why I haven’t really talked about it much myself. However, I feel like any fellow AuDHDers who read my fic must be side-eying me constantly because I don’t think I’m subtle about how I write Gojo’s character at ALL 🤪

Maybe it’s time to be brave and publicly share my 236 AuDHD!Gojo manifesto for the five of us who are standing in a circle screaming about this! Cheering you on and sending lots of love ♥️

Ahhhhh thank you so much for this infodump!!!! I was on a AuDHD!Gojo rampage last night as my brain worm hit right as I should have been going to sleep. But such are things....

Like idk why it didn't truly hit me until now, but I can't unseen Gojo as AuDHD. (It was probably because I re-watched "Everything's Gonna be Okay" with some AuDHD representation and then I started thinking of other AuDHD characters and immediately thought of Gojo.) I did play with the idea a few months back, but it hit me with full force yesterday.

Idk like I get a little annoyed with people who think I or others like Gojo just because "he's hot" because like okay fine yes (but also I think I just have gender envy but that's a whole other can of worms). But also, no no no that's not it! My love for Gojo is more than that! He speaks to me as a character. He's misunderstood. He's seen as something he isn't. In my eyes, he's neurodivergent (and queer). And Geto was the only other person who ever saw him for who he really was.

Gojo's death was really hard on me. I remember exactly where I was when I read that chapter. And then the airport. Fuck. EmOtIOns. At first, I tried understanding Nanami's words. I really did. But really, I just didn't if I'm honest. Those words were a shock to me. Like yeah okay he's selfish (but like aren't all humans?). He also helps though! Isn't that obvious? And at the end? He wanted to have an equal to go all out with in a fight. Again, why was that bad? He was also helping! What's the issue? He's a fallible human. Like you said in your analysis, he contains multitudes. What's wrong with that?

So, like many others, I thought maybe I misread Gojo. But no. Now I think the missing piece was that Gojo is AuDHD and Nanami didn't quite get that. He didn't understand Gojo's actions. (And ahh god that lil pout. Gojo was just living his life and people saw him but they never ~saw~ him.)

I think the visual of the sorcerers back-to-back is a great metaphor for the double empathy problem. I never saw it that way, but I see it now and like it! And I think you're so right with the fact that the characters still respect and support each other even if they don't understand each other fully. I think that's a theme woven throughout the story.

Blahhh I feel like there is so much textual support for AuDHD Gojo. Like him being blindsided by Geto's defection because he didn't see Geto's decline (and don't get me started about Autistic!Geto with his strict black-and-white thinking), him just blabbing about sweets when he meets up with Megumi before fighting one-finger Sukuna at the beginning, the fact he thought revealing Yuuji to his classmates at the exchange event would be funny (cause hey, I thought it would too until it happened and I saw oh hey, it wasn't), etc. Plus, his blindfold. His overall personality. Like, it's such a heavy mask. Now I see that.

I feel like people either love Gojo or they hate him. (I immediately gobbled up your analysis and 100% agree. And I think people's reactions to his death are pretty telling.)

So, thank you for the yummy AuDHD!Gojo content. Please feel free to send me more/link me to things. I feel like I have a million more things to say but my brain is jumping all over the place and I've already spent 40 minutes this morning on this when I should have been getting ready for work. Hehe, whoops.

Gojo is AuDHD. I will die on this hill. Let's keep staring and screaming at each other about this. Sending you good vibes and love as well 🤍

#gojo headcanons #audhd gojo #neurodivergent gojo #autistic gojo #adhd gojo

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project-sekai-facts · 10 months

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I saw a post on reddit awhile ago that said the arcs in the game are somewhat focused on one character, idk if this is true since i don't read every story but if it is, which characters have had completed arcs at this point? Sorry if this makes no sense lol

yeah that is true that most unit arcs have more focus on one character, not all of them do though (MMJ generally seems to be more balanced with the focus than everyone else). that said the character-focused unit arcs don't fully complete an arc for that character, just part of it. so they don't go stale after only a few events.

the first Leo/need arc was mostly focused on Shiho and her goal of going pro. At the end of Honami's first event, she gets scouted by STANDOUT, which then leads into the plot of the next few L/n events, culminating with Leo/need deciding to go pro together. their second arc doesn't seem to be focused too much on any one character, and is more focused on the idea of what their next steps to becoming pros are. at the time of writing they have one event in this arc left to go, but they did end up getting signed at the end of their last event.

as i said MMJ generally has a much more balanced focus. if anything you could argue that both arcs have more focus on Minori since she gets a lot of the most important events that have all the big steps in their journey, but the focus is still pretty evenly spread. at it's most basic, their first arc is "we're gonna be idols" and the second arc is "now we're getting somewhere".

VBS is a bit weird since they kinda have different plots between the subunits. Vivids started out being about Kohane coming into her own as a singer, as well as how An deals with all that. They're also the ones who introduced the plot with RADder, even before that became the main focus in 2nd arc. Meanwhile Toya and Akito dealt mainly with their own personal stuff in the first arc, and they interact with side characters more. Also both their events often involved the team becoming closer. Collectively there was an overarching plot about holding an event to surpass rad weekend, and they then held their first gig in their first arc ender. 2nd arc was An and RADder centric, I think you could probably work that out though. Again though, BAD DOGS was a little less focused on that than Vivids was.

The first WxS arc is Emu-centric, with her trying to uphold her grandfather's legacy in the park. it's teased briefly in the first two WxS events and then becomes very important in the last two events of their first arc. the second arc is more focused on the concept of the group having to disband in future, but Rui’s had a fair amount of focus in this arc, since it ties in well with his character arc (his 3rd event was entirely focused on the concept of the group disbanding, and the last few events have ended with him teasing something that connects to that plot).

The first N25 arc started off like it was going to be focused on Mafuyu, then from Secret Distance it shifted focus onto Mizuki (and Ena trying to help them) and there was literally two events after SD which focused on that, one of which was the arc ender. Second arc was very obviously centered on Mafuyu and her relationship with her mother I don't think this one needs explaining.

#im bad at summaries #asks #mod talks

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cursedvibes · 5 months

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omg I finally found someone who cares about Kenjaku and interested in them as much as I do. I always felt like most of the annoying fans (cough Geto/stsg fans cough) see them as an extension of Geto and not their own character with a unique personality, also they’re not really popular with Japanese fandom so there’s that…

Sooo idk if someone has already asked you that question but I just wanted to know what do you think of the existing paradox within Kenjaku’s behaviour? I’m talking about the fact that they seem to behave differently depending if they’re being observed or not, in such cases as: Kenny generally treating Yuji like a tool for their plan but saying “thank you for getting along with my son”, while they were walking with Yuji’s friend inside the “cursed space”, in complete darkness, not observed by a single soul — I’m still not sure whether it was just a way for Gege to emphasize that Kenjaku is, in fact, Yuji’s parent (if some readers didn’t catch it in ch.143) OR it should be interpreted as Kenny saying “oh yeah thanks for helping me to fulfill my plan by befriending Yuji —> resulting in him finding a finger”… but I also wonder could it be their real, genuine feelings? The fact that they actually care about Yuji in a sense would probably feel weird a lil bit but on the other hand there are also cases where they act contradictory, for example looking down on Tengen in general when fighting Yuki & Choso, mocking Tengen in that scene where they sit in front of TV, but the moment they’re not observed directly - the moment Tengen dies - they say their goodbyes to her and call her their “friend”. You see what I’m trying to imply? I might be completely wrong on this but it kinda feels like Kenjaku has an issue with the whole true feelings/emotions shtick. It probably makes sense since they should stick to their plan and any kind of attachment might ruin everything, it’s high risk on their part — Kenjaku shutting down their excitement immediately after they start feeling something real for the first time in hundreds of years, pressing Takaba to the ground — once again, understandable, but I do wonder if it results in something more in the end. There is also a theme of loneliness/intellectual loneliness specifically that is associated with Kenny so I’m honestly sooo fascinated by their character and I’m looking forward to see how it all unfolds.

Also do you have any analyses/meta posts about Kenny maybe? I’d love a link or something and I would definitely read it!!

Hi! Always lovely to meet a fellow Kenjaku fan! It's a real shame that Kenjaku so often gets overshadowed by other characters, particularly Geto, even when the story is focusing on them (as we can currently see) and when they are talked about, then often purely in the context of stsg, when they have so many more meaningful connections and ones that are also more important to their character.

The stuff you bring up about Kenjaku's contradicting behaviour is exactly what's been ghosting around my brain the past months or year even. I talked a little bit about it recently here and here. As far as other analysis posts go, what I could remember (and find again on my blog...) there's something about Kenjaku's motivations and how I think "for the lulz" is a bad way to describe it, a post about their perspective on death and a post reflecting on the power Kenjaku & Tengen have over Sukuna and Gojo, despite those being technically "The Strongest". I hope that's helpful and what you were looking for?

Regarding what you said about Kenjaku's contradicting behaviour, I think it all ties back to Tengen and their dispute because here you can see very well that Kenjaku both cares about Tengen, but also puts her as the centrepiece of their plan and is thereby ready to sacrifice her when push comes to shove. Despite going through with capturing her, Kenjaku doesn't seem very happy with how things ended with Tengen. They like her, respect her, see her as an equal, but are also very frustrated by her stubbornness and inability to change or even engage with the world. They had to force her in the end to do it and they didn't even get a good conversation with her after waiting centuries to see her again. She just kinda went along with what they did, again showing no resistance or strong will for survival. So Kenjaku doesn't really hate her, they are just frustrated with her non-actions.

You can also see that in the words they scream at her in ch 205 about having actually lived and gained new experiences, contrary to Tengen, who stuck to her old ways. It seems like they wanted to bait her into a response, a discussion, something, but they didn't get anything. At this point it was probably not surprising to them. I assume Tengen used to argue with them a lot more back in the Heian era and that is what Kenjaku is currently missing. Even if people disagree with them, Kenjaku wants to be presented with interesting perspectives by people who understand the world like they do. Tengen clearly used to have that, she build jujutsu society on it, but then she decided to distance herself from Kenjaku out of self-preservation and...maybe weariness? Hard to say at this point, but she was clearly not about allowing her body to evolve to discover new things about cursed energy and humanity.

Kenjaku tried to find something similar in Yuki, but she doesn't engage enough with them to bring any meaningful discourse (unfortunately, I wish the two had discussed their world views more during their fight). So now that Tengen is gone or controlled and can thereby not give any meaningful intellectual input, Kenjaku is looking for new people to fill that hole, new friends who are equal to them, challenge them and also give them some sort of stimulus they have been missing for centuries apparently. That's part of why they do the merger in the first place. They want something that can truly surprise them and present them with something completely new.

Besides intellectual curiosity, Kenjaku just seems lonely. Unlike Sukuna, who is fine just playing around with others, eating and having one person to rely on, Kenjaku seems to want more people around them. Not many I assume, but they need friends and currently they seem a bit desperate to find new ones, seeing how they even ask Hazenoki to hang out with them. That's also where we see that contradiction. Kenjaku wants friends, but over the last millennia their plan has taken up so much of their headspace that they are ready to kill said friends for that end and that tendency to use others for their gain is also what keeps them from finding new connections because obviously nobody wants anything to do with them when they get treated like that. They ask Hazenoki to be their friend, despite both of them knowing he has to die for the Culling Game to end and their plan to progress. So at best he could've given them company for a few days and then they would've killed him. But at this point Kenjaku is even fine with that. Hell, they are talking to dead people and the thin air (a non-listening Tengen). Not a good sign for the state of your mental health.

Takaba is interesting because he came to Kenjaku out of his own will and offered to give them something interesting/funny, basically fulfil their conditions for friendship. He doesn't even mind that much that Kenjaku is trying to kill him. Perfect candidate for friendship, but by being so open, forthcoming and generally being a weird guy, he unnerves Kenjaku. For one, they aren't used (anymore) to people being so friendly with them without any self-serving motives, listening to them and sharing their interest. Like with Sukuna & Uraume, Kenjaku is always the one who engages conversations and meetings, the two don't care about Kenjaku unless they need to further their personal goals. Similar with the reincarnated sorcerers. Kenjaku approaches them for a binding vow and the entire relationship depends on serving their own benefits. The other thing is that Kenjaku doesn't seem used to having someone they share so many common interests with and who they can indulge with, without ulterior motives playing into it. In this case it's comedy and pop culture instead of cursed energy, but that doesn't seem to matter and solving the riddle that is Takaba's cursed technique gives Kenjaku another reason to get invested in/with him.

It's like you said, Kenjaku wants connection, but when presented to them, they get uncertain and awkward on how to deal with them and don't seem to want to get too attached because they will kill them in the end anyway. With Tengen that was less of a problem because she's immortal and will always exist in some way, but not talking to her still seems to be very aggravating for them. Even with Takaba, despite having the time of their life and feeling better than they have for centuries, Kenjaku will have to kill him in the end. At least with how the Culling Game rules are now (they could change them...). Takaba is also very hard to kill... The ocean scene where Kenjaku goes from happiness to trying to drown Takaba honestly perfectly encapsulates their mental state towards close relationships, including how they treat Yuuji. Someone gets too close, they try to push them away like they're allergic to feelings. It's like a defence mechanism. If they want to follow through on the plan they have been working on for thousand years, they can't afford to dally around with some random clown, even if they like his company.

Same with Yuuji. I think Kenjaku does care about him in some way and sees him as their son, but that just doesn't keep them from hurting him. They sound proud of him in Shibuya and excited to see what he will evolve into. I think they banked on Sukuna switching vessel and Yuuji using his special body to become hopefully something interesting in the future, using Sukuna's cursed energy as a kickstarter for his development so to say. I mean, if Sukuna hadn't switched vessels, he would've been useless and unable to ever come out again after Shibuya and Kenjaku was clearly preparing for him to participate in the Culling Game. So Yuuji being a vessel/cage was only a temporary solution.

So I think Kenjaku's words to Sasaki are genuine, but they are also thanking her for starting the whole finger situation (Yuuji was the one who found it, but Sasaki was the one who wanted to play around with it). I'm also wondering if they intended for her to look into Yuuji's past and confront him with his parentage because they know Sasaki is very curious and Yuuji's parent he never mentioned turning up in her bedroom and telling her about a death game they started seems like something that she wouldn't be able to brush past. I mean, they didn't say this to Iguchi, who was also Yuuji's friend, only Sasaki. Only question is, how do they expect Sasaki to get in contact with Yuuji in the state Japan is in? And then there's of course the question of if Gege will even pick up this plot threat again.

Being interested in seeing what Yuuji will evolve into is Kenjaku's own way of showing they care, you could say. They don't give a shit about Choso's power level or potential after all, he's just a failure. Yuuji's potential is what makes them care and I think having birthed him themselves plays into their feelings as well, since Kenjaku clearly has a very close attachment to the womb, pregnancy and birth. Their interest in him is self-serving, but that doesn't mean they don't care or deny any parental feelings (at least not when in the right company, where they can open up more). Hell, despite looking down on Choso, Kenjaku does call themselves his parent. There's only a bit of blood connecting them, they didn't even birth him, but they don't deny their familial connection. So yeah, despite all that, Kenjaku always treats people bad because their own interests come first.

The current fight is interesting because Takaba could give something different to Kenjaku. He can entertain them, satisfy their curiosity and show them something new. He proofs that they don't need to go through with the merger, that there are other options they could take and might even end up happier for it, but I also think that Kenjaku will not use that opportunity to turn around. They have come too far, suffered set-back after set-back for thousand years just to get to this point, so no matter how good the alternative is, they will not give up on the merger. Tengen is already captured, she can't stay inside them forever and when she's set free, she will likely wreck chaos even if she doesn't merge with other humans. This fight shows us what Kenjaku could be or less destructive ways they could take, but at this point they are too far gone. I'm really curious to see how this will all play out and how this fight will end, what it will mean for Kenjaku, their plan, the protagonist team and how exactly they will deal with Takaba. Highly doubt it will mean anything good though. Either way, I smell some character development incoming.

#asks #kenjaku #jjk spoilers

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scoobydoodean · 7 months

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I see this held up as major proof of Dean's badness, but couldn't it also be proof of Cas having faith Dean can get past anything without Cas having to change his behavior? The way it's structured the onus is on DEAN to work through it, not others to change or make amends. ---- CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.

I see what you mean in a general sense, and it's extremely possible that Cas is thinking about his own past fights with Dean and Dean forgiving him, and from the perspective of the critique you have in mind that you're refuting, I agree. But of course deancrit casgirls will forever insist that Cas has never in his life done anything harmful to Dean either accidentally or on purpose, so any time Dean might dare try to hold him accountable for anything, he's actually just making shit up and being toxic and controlling, so here Cas is just apologizing for his own abusive relationship. You can only get their take by being deliberately obtuse/disingenuous.

That said, the context of that line (from 15.13 "Destinty's Child") is Cas answering soulless Jack's question about whether Dean will eventually forgive him for murdering Mary.

CASTIEL: Hey, Jack. JACK: Cas, you know what's good about being dead? CASTIEL: Uh, as I recall, very little. JACK: Well, when you come back, you – you really get into all that life is. Hot, cold, sweet, spicy, funny, scary. CASTIEL: And are you? "Into it"? JACK: I want to be. But I don't... feel things the way I used to. Before I lost my... CASTIEL: Your soul. JACK: I used to feel things. In my bones. It was glorious, and sometimes unbearable. But I felt them. Now, I understand joy or sadness, but... I know those things aren't in me. I understand why Sam and Dean were angered by what happened to Mary... CASTIEL: By what you did to Mary. JACK: Yes. I see that I've caused them pain. And it's clear that things have changed. Especially with – with Dean. Will he ever forgive me? CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on. JACK: How long will that take? CASTIEL: I don't know.

And yeah—I have seen people refer to Cas's little speech here as "condoning child abuse" and other bullshit. Because how DARE Dean not forgive soulless Jack for murdering his mother (something soulless Jack is unable to actually really acknowledge he did). I mean clearly any time someone murders your mom because she made them mad and threatened their sense of security by asking if they're okay and saying their concerning actions can’t stay a secret… That’s just natural understandable stuff! You need to forgive the person who murdered her instantly and if you don’t idk you’re kinda overreacting don’t you think? :/ I mean your mom probably deserved it kind of anyway for reading the room so wrong and talking about getting a person help. And I mean if you don't forgive the person who killed your mom or do anything trying to stop them from hurting more people you're really a child abuser... toward an adult... who murdered your mother in cold blood and is unable to even understand why it was wrong in any sense other than an intellectual one like he read it from a book... preferring to refer to it as "What happened to Mary" instead of acknowledge it as something he himself did because he was mad and felt threatened—which is what he circled back to in "Jack In The Box" too. It's only when Jack gets his soul back that he's able to actually feel true empathy, acknowledge his real actions and the gravity of them, and give an actual sincere apology. Because his soul is actually important—something this fandom refuses, by and large, to notice.

Anyway, this fandom's take on Mary's murder and soulless Jack vs. regular Jack is overwhelmingly a bag of wet third grader vomit and feces so what can one expect?

#mail #soulless jack killing mary is popularly regarded as an accident... but it's pretty transparent that it wasn't?#or rather it was on purpose but he regretted it the second after it happened. but that is still. Something he chose to do. Not an accident.#He saw her as a threat to his relationship with Sam and Dean and he acted.#This is indicated right before he kills her. He admits it outright also right before calling it an accident which unravels that whole idea.#It wasn’t pre-meditated but in that moment he wanted her to die. She was going to tell everyone there was something wrong with him.#And he did not want that.#It wasn't an accident and he can't handle his own culpability because it threatens his belief that he can make things be the way they were #before it happened. Which is why he killed her to begin with! He didn't want anyone to know/think anything was wrong with him!#And just like soulless Jack just wants everyone to forget about it and act like nothing happened and he's fine...#Many fans want Dean to forget about it. They want Dean to believe and say and feel and think that Mary did not matter.#And that being upset at her literal murder (even if it was an accident—which it was not) is bad and evil.#And Sam's great capacity for numbness (which we already saw in season 13) strengthen's their own lack of empathy for Dean #in a situation that in real life they would understand unless they're actual psychopaths.#It's only because Dean is a character in a narrative representing the need/capacity to be loved and accepted at all #that these demands that his thoughts and feelings bend to everyone else's emotional needs become so disturbingly intrusive #dont feed the stans after midnight #and cas is my best friend #hot girl cas

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goldensunset · 2 months

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i’m not about to draw a minimum of twelve entire pictures but i wanna do this anyway (i guess i could just edit the images in there but that’s lame lol)

•my favorite gym leader is probably either tulip or clay! something about tulip i just always found very endearing and respectable and i love clay’s no-nonsense attitude and sheer strength. plus he gets bonus points for his daughter being lacey

•fav champion is clearly volo. like how could you not classify that as a champion fight. that was so freaking hard man. runner up goes to kieran though bc he was also really hard for me. but of course if we’re talking official true pokémon league champions then cynthia

•fav elite four member has gotta be lacey. i adore her. first time i’ve ever lost to the same opponent multiple times in a fair fight (aka being prepared and on-level). she’s sooo cute and fun! she also terrifies me severely

•favorite protagonist is akari no surprise there. la does such a good job of making it clearly important why the protag is the protag. it offers a legitimate in-universe explanation as to why this one child in particular is so much more powerful than all the others. out of place in time and space, literally chosen by a god… the way certain characters question her humanity, both in a good and evil way… it’s so good

•favorite rival… well pokémon fans use the term rival really loosely. it can mean any friend character that you battle for funsies even once. it can mean literal arch nemesis. idk. arven stole my heart with his story but i don’t consider him a rival like most people do so that goes to cheren. i love his story and he has also mopped the floor with me several times

•favorite antagonist is also volo next question. i’m sick in the head about him. n is a strong and clear second place obviously though. i’ve done enough rambling on here about them

•professor laventon is the guy ever he feels like he actually personally cares about akari so much. that’s her dad. the way he’s actively involved in plot stuff, he accompanies the team on field missions even when he really doesn’t need to… he’s always there. you see him a lot. and he’s clearly writing the pokédex entries himself and they’re absolute gold. but seeing as professor is also a broad term because they’ve been really breaking up the older tradition in recent games, i nominate director clavell as second place bc i respect the guy a lot. that old man (tm) enjoyer here

•fav battle facility leader… well. i don’t really have one bc i’ve done very little with the battle facilities in the two games i’ve played that had them lol. so i guess throwaway answer is ingo but mostly for pla reasons. actually i think he counts as a battle facility leader in pla with the daybreak update and i’ve done some of his stuff so he does in fact count for me

•for fav clan member i’m gonna say arezu i like her a lot. she tried doing the right thing in a very chaotic way and i respect her for her efforts. plus her design is cute and she gives great haircuts and her noble is adorable

•character from other media… well i’m obsessed with the way n is portrayed in pokespe. perfect blend between sad prettyboy and freak behavior. they just made everything so intense. and i love oshawott from poképark 2 with the way he’s trying so hard to be serious and cool but snivy keeps getting on his nerves lol. that’s the reason i chose oshawott in pla bc that was the only of those pokémon i recognized

•i’m classifying arven as miscellaneous bc like i said i don’t consider him a rival but MAN!! man… this guy just got shortchanged so many times but i’m glad he was able to get closure for his parents’ disappearance and death and that he can move on and just live his own life. also certified dog lover moment

•top fav character… yeah you all know it’s volo LOL. completely shrimp fried my brain. the absolute hyperactive high i was on when he revealed himself. made even more insane bc i had literally been spoiled that he was a twist villain but i had no other context so i was just waiting the whole game for him to be evil. imagine the sinking in my gut when the credits rolled and it didn’t happen i thought i’d been embarrassing myself the whole time but then the postgame punched me in the gut HARD. i thought he’d end up being like the sad sympathetic frenemy guy where you don’t really want to fight him but NOPE full on evil full on he was just using you. made even better by the context that he had been your biggest fan throughout the whole game while everyone else had been suspicious of you. i lost my entire mind. once again second place to n though

#pokémon #legends arceus #bw #sv #dppt

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bunglegaydogs · 11 months

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Hiiii I'm just sending an ask because they're all different posts (read : I'm lazy) so please don't mind me lol

First and foremost, YOU ARE AMAZING AT EXPRESSING YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR ESSAYS ARE ALWAYS SO NUANCED?? SO YOU SAYING THAT WAS A HUGE COMPLIMENT OMG- I love reading your bsd essays so much and it's just now that I realised that they're all your essays abaammw some of the best in the fandom really. I'm always baffled when in the middle of an essay you go "I may not be articulating my thoughts right" or "this is kind of just put together" because girl you're amazing! Never stop writing these please ajajahsbw ALSO! Hearing your little thoughts and feelings pop up in the middle of an essay makes it so endearing to me. Like, that's a whole ass person writing these many words just to express how much they like this show and they're so adorable! (So sorry if that's offensive idk if calling someone adorable is)

Also, completely unrelated lol but this is exactly why I prefer to ask people questions instead of googling! Knowing that the person explaining is a human has their own opinions and hearing their feelings and experiences is so much more better and relatable than reading stuff off a Google website. Also your pfp is the cutest everyone has cute pfps nowadays 😭 anyways yes cute pfp :D

Actually getting to the point now:

1) yes yes Oda and Dazai's relationship is so dear to me I love them sm and I adore seeing Atsushi all caring for his mentor 😭 he's basically Dazai's emotional support cat!! Dazai let the boy in please I'm begging you he can purr probably and it would melt away your stress pls pls (Maybe everyone in the ADA sees Atsushi as their emotional support cat...)

2) Mori is a piece a shit, and you should be allowed to say it. I'm never biased in my writing but I loathe that guy with my very being and the whole people who like Mori thing really got me reconsidering...was *I* the bad guy for not liking a character when I actively liked a character very similar to him? Then I realised, I completely respect and treat equally all the people who don't like/hate Dazai. I don't treat them any different just because they don't like a character. And that's what I should expect too!

There's no post defending Dazai, and yet I still like him because I accept his wrongdoings and want him to keep getting better, like Oda told him to. Yknow, the argument would be MUCH different if Dazai was a woman and not a man, imagine bashing someone for liking a teen girl and not liking the guy who groomed her to be his heir. Yeah, really puts things into perspective. I'm not sexist, I treat (respectful) men and women equally, but Mori is just. No.

3) I haven't see it before in any canon source material but I feel like it's definitely true. It's clear that Dazai WANTS to want to keep living, but he can't bring himself to want it because of all the pain he's endured. He literally said in dark era that the reason he joined the mafia was to try and seek meaning in life by being close to death and violence. It's ironic, Dazai feels the most alive when he's about to LOSE that privilege. It could also mean that Dazai only realises the "value" in living when he's about to lose it. Perhaps he thinks of things he could've done, things he'll regret, and that helps him to stop before he actually does it. But in my opinion? I don't think he finds anything of worth in that time. He just convinces himself that he does. This is a personal hc but it's probably likely to be the case.

If you've listened to the song My R, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.(totally recommend btw!).The girl in the song speaks to herself about her woes and the 'other' version of her comforts her telling her about all the things that she DOES have, but by the end of the song, she has lost everything of meaning and she can't comfort the "girl". It is only revealed that the girls she comforted are different versions of HERSELF that she stopped from jumping.

Anyways, in conclusion, SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE THIS BOY A HUG HE DESERVES IT

oh my god oh my god oh my god

i am sat here on the verge of TEARS in my goddamn chuuya cosplay

okay okay give me a second i need to collect myself

you are singlehandedly the SWEETEST person ever im sobbing

literally i cant- thank you so fucking much! you dont understand how much this all means to me WOWOWOWOW <33333333

literally, my brain doesnt let me consume my content positively and so i always think that theyre quite bad or that im the only person who thinks that or that im saying all the wrong things lol

i have so many words and thoughts floating around in my little brain that i just cant find the words for, so thats honestly what those rants are, my delusional 4am thought processes when i deep things too much

and YOU THINK??? genuinely, thank you!!! i love reading people's essays and thoughts, so hearing you say that genuinely just warms my absolute heart <3

and yes yes i do get quite sidetracked very often and start just rambling and adding my own personal twists- genuinely i thought that was annoying for people to read, but you're just putting a big smile on my face right now :) and PLS DONT THINK CALLING ME ADORABLE IS OFFENSIVE I LITERALLY GIGGLED READING THAT SHIT FR. <333

i like to add personal experiences and thoughts into it, just to get my point across, put it into an irl perspective and let people also relate and see what im getting at. (unfortunately) i have the same experiences as most of these characters, and so that is why they're so dear to me and why i get very defensive and passionate writing about them!

and yes! getting your answers and stuff from irl people instead of strange irrelevant responses is much more preferred lol. it's more raw and in depth and definitely a lot more personal! and thank you so much!!! it's genuinely one of my favourite dazai panels istg hes such a pretty mf

1.) i love love LOVE their dynamic, i think it's one of my favourites in the show along with skk and ranpo and yosano. it really fucking hits hard, as all family dynamics do with me fr, idk what it is about them, they just get me. and yes!!! i love when atsushi shows that he cares for dazai it MAKES ME FEEL NICE <3 and that's so real oh my god hes a tiger please PLEASE he can fucking PURR (there was a tumblr post i saw, i can try and find it but it made me actually cry laughing)

THIS ONE i was fucking howling but yes! their relationship is also one that really really gets to me! and yes, he is just the ada's support cat, it's canon, i'm ranpo's sweets

2.) thank you thank you THANK YOU mori is an actual degenerate human being. he's not made to be liked or appreciated or revered, it's just fucking AEUGH. i'm not going to demonise the people who enjoy him as a character, but seriously, it's a big red flag to overlook the canon pedophilia. i saw someone make a defense against him saying "yes, but he's never actually touched kids, so that doesn't mean anything" SORRY? they also went on to say that he "restrains himself" from having pedophilic thoughts with elise, and basically praised him for that. needless to say, it got me feeling fucking icky. and yes! i feel exactly the same. i always think that "oh, maybe i'm the awful one for not liking him? am i bad?" even though, no, i'm perfectly fine thinking that way and i am allowed to think that way. and exactly again! dazai is my favourite character, but i recognise his flaws and his mistakes and don't forgive them. but he's actively trying to "be a better person" (i say this in quotation marks because dazai sees everything he does as inevitably pointless, but still wishes to uphold oda's dying words. i am definitely going to make a post about this in the near future lol) and i dont make my analyses biased towards him, and i stay on neutral ground UNLESS personal opinion comes up, to which i then say that it's my personal opinion, not fact, and that it's anybody's choice to think however they want. if somebody doesn't like dazai; okay! i'm interested in talking with them, and we can both talk about things we're very passionate about and have healthy conversations! unlike some people i have seen on reddit, goddamn. but no, we're not the bad people for hating that knobhead fr. we should all treat and be treated the same as any other fan in the fandom and get along, and i wish we could ALL do that in non-toxic ways. 99% of this fandom are the loveliest people ever, but that 1% just needs to get a grip like omg. we should treat others how we want to be treated, regardless of who favours what ship and who likes what character. and real!!! if gender roles were reversed for dazai, this would be much more problematic, and that's upsetting! dw dw, i dont think its sexist, i think its putting things into perspective bc, either way, its shitty how he was treated. i fucking hate mori. whenever i see people defending him to like, the bone, like not getting into a decent discussion and being civil but instead bashing everyone who says otherwise and completely overlooking the abuse, manipulation, grooming, pedophilia and just him as a sick and twisted person in general, it just really irks me. as someone who has in fact had to deal with separate strands of abuse including many fucking counts of sexual abuse and pedophilia, it disgusts me seeing people overlooking it and it makes me feel fucking sick. that shit is not just something to be overlooked because of the fact that you enjoy mori as a character, he's not supposed to be a character that's consumed positively, he's a bad guy. a lot of characters in bsd are morally grey, but mori is just fucking morally black. he's downright evil.

(TW for suicide and self harm next btw :) )

3.) yes yes yessss!!! again, bringing personal stuff into it, i deal heavily with the whole topic of suicide and self harm. i've attempted twice and still deal with thoughts of it every single day, as well as self harm. so, this is one of my main reasons of dazai being my absolute favourite character, because of the representation and actual presentation of these topics. at first, we're shown them in a whimsical and whacky way, then it gets so much darker once we get into the dark era. it's a complete tonal shift, and it really sets in the gravity of the situation for him. and, as you said, he wants to have that ability to want to keep going and living, and he wants to be able to put the effort in, but he can't/ he physically cannot. as much as he would want to try, he can't. and yes, when he said that it fucking BROKE me fr. just at the chance that he's not able to keep living on anymore as a human is the one thing that keeps him alive, i fucking love asagiri's writing, it's so complex and beautiful. and its so so so real!!! youre literally right idc lmao. youve so eloquently said it im crying, youre putting all my thoughts into words <3

and yes!!! i have listened to the song, i absolutely LOVE it! and i never fail to think of dazai whenever i listen to it </3 and, i also think it's very very much like dazai, because of the multiple different versions we see of him too. chuuya hasn't exactly changed much, but he has gone through some very very complex and deep character developments, such as in fifteen and stormbringer. hes a lot more "tame" and respectful now, and a lot more mature. (except with dazai lmao) aku, we see he's changed slightly thanks to atsushi, but still no major character fucking flip arounds. all these characters we've watched slowly become better and more complex throughout the series. dazai? he just does 180s every single fucking year. hes different at 14 and 15 than he is at 18. hes different at 18 than he is at 20-22. and the different faces he puts on for each and every person, all his masks that he has. there's much variety to dazai; you never know what you'll get. there's so many different sides to him, because he doesn't know who he is. as odasaku saw him, "a lost child crying out". no matter the age, no matter the state, dazai is always going to be harbouring that broken child with him, trying to hide it and build up walls around it, because the only time he's ever shown it, he's gotten hurt or betrayed and lost some key figures in his life. trust issues much?

anyways i am sorry i am sorry i rambled too much lmao

in conclusion, YES, GIVE HIM A FUCKING HUG OH MY GOD PLEASE I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO HUG HIM PLS GOD LET ATSUSHI GIVE HIM A BIG HUG WHEN HE COMES OUT OF MEURSAULT I SWEAR-

thank you so so so SO much for your kind words!!! sweetest person EVER fr <333333

thank you my love!!! /p have a lovely day/night :) <3

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