#camelot on crack | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strawlessandbraless · 6 months

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15th anniversary rewatch of Merlin, a family show

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oautincorrectquotes · 13 days

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Henry: So, I heard you like bad boys?

Violet: Not really.

Henry: Oh, thank god.

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dragoonandthedolma · 5 months

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Merlin would’ve loved Hozier and I will die on that hill

#merlin season 5 #bbc merlin #merlin #arthur pendragon #camelot #hozier #does he put crack in his songs or something because i listen to them on repeat #merthur #seriously #i mean it

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trashburgersblair · 4 months

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(ID in alt text)

#Oh boy this was a fucking ride to make but I did it!#Its done!#Enjoy the drumb #Also click for better quality I think #My screen is still cracked so I don't really know how good the photo is- but I tried my best #the mechanisms #the mechs #drumbot brian #the hanged man rusts #hnoc #high noon over camelot #My art #the mechanisms fanart

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justaz · 4 months

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as much as i hate uther, i don’t believe him to be homophobic. him and gaius definitely experimented when they were younger. i think it much funnier that uther doesn’t care that merlin’s a boy. yeah sure he’s a little stuck on the class difference (why on earth would arthur go for a servant???). but the thing that really sets him off, has him spitting with rage, is the sorcerer part.

he doesn’t care that his sons gay, he can even excuse the class difference, but he draws the LINE at sorcery

#no homophobia in my camelot #in fact everyone is queer #bbc merlin #merlin emrys #uther pendragon #arthur pendragon #merthur #uther welcoming his son in law with the ghost of a smile bc uther is a Dick but he does vaguely care for his son and his happiness #then doing a complete 180 the second he sniffs out the magic like a bloodhound #just frothing at the mouth as merthur is sucking face and tangling tongues in the back of the room #passive aggressive meat cutting while staring daggers at merlin #tom and jerry ass antics #that’s what i wanna read #gimme crack fics #NEOWWWWW #uther poisoning merlin’s food so merlin fills others chambers with a bunch of goats that are shitting and pissing everywhere #while eating all the fabric in the room including his expensive imported silk sheets #no one knows how merlin managed to get all the goats up there without raising any alarms #uther pushes merlin down a flight of stairs and merlin lands like a family guy character at the bottom #merlin cursing uther for a day or two to only be able to sing instead of speak #uther sending assassins after merlin and merlin waiting until uther gives a big important speech in front of all of camelot to pants him #despite how hard uther pulls...his pants just wont come back up. he overcorrects and falls on his face #uther vs merlin rivalry ftw #i know of 'no. just...no' by theroundbartable but thats about it

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pattdork · 1 year

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Beatrice: have you read about King Arthur?

Ava: King Arthur came a lot, didn't he?

Beatrice * baffled *: I think you mean he is associated with the court of Camelot.

Ava: No, really. I've read, literally, that King Arthur came a lot. I'm sure.

Beatrice: Camelot... It's CAMELOT.

Ava: You sure?

Beatrice: Yeah, it's his court. Where he held court. It's a place.

Ava: right... but do we know if he came a lot? Or, like, just the same as an average man?

Beatrice * trying really hard to process Ava's train of thoughts and blinking slowly *: The only evidence anyone has in that regard is that he had one child.

Ava: right... so probably not.

Based on this Cunk On earth scene: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYfVYjMH/

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athenodora-sulpicia-writer · 1 year

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If these six had a party together this video would be the results.

-Miss P and Vesper trying to be responsible adults.

-Vanessa was forced to come.

-Morgan’s already had four glasses of wine.

-Artemisia disappears part way through and then reappears less then sober.

-And Miss G was simply ditsy and strange.

This was so much fun to make.

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achillesuwu · 1 year

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Back on my it would be HILARIOUS if Merlin dates someone for a loooooong time some centuries after Arthur's death and that someone is immortal and it drives Arthur INSANE because they are in good terms and are not afraid to show affection (basically Merlin being like : I'm 1557 years old for Gods sake. I can and will be affectionate with my besties)

What if Merlin has an inside joke/game with his friends group where they randomly say dramatic movie/serie/book quote to each other and Arthur does NOT know that they are joking

Merlin's vampire ex : I told you 🙄 you never listen to me

Merlin : You are right, I'm sorry

Arthur : *doesn't know why but has a bad feeling about this* *suspicious glare*

Merlin, *put a hand on his ex's shoulder and use all of his acting skill* from now on, what you say to me, what you do for me, I’ll remember all of it—I won’t forget a single thing.

Merlin : You’re really great. I like you.

Merlin : Or in other words, I fancy you, I love you, I want you, I can’t leave you, I whatever you.

The Knights who aren't on the joke either : 0.0

Merlin : I just really like you so much. I don’t want anyone but you—it can’t be anyone but you.

Meelin and his vampire ex : *look at each other dramatically*

Merlin and his vampire ex : *go back to talking like nothing happened* so as I was saying Janet is adopting a new cat and—

*Litteraly the next day*

Merlin, holding soup : You must know. Surely you must know it was all for you.

Arthur, in the background : *choking on his tea*

Merlin : You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once.

Merlin's 809 years old bestie : *tears in her eyes & muffling her sob* (laughing at Arthur's face)

Merlin : My affections and wishes have not changed. But one word from you will silence me for ever.

The Knights, Gwen & Arthur, looking at Merlin's vampire ex and being speechless at Merlin behaviour :

Merlin's vampire ex : *chilling*

Merlin : lf, however, your feelings have changed... ...I would have to tell you, you have bewitched me,body and soul, and I love..I love... I love you.

His friend : come on merlin you are not even trying to be original *sobbing* (laughing) *take the soup from Merlin's hand*

Arthur : EXCUSE ME!?!

#Merthur #merthur crack #Merlin quoting #Wangxian #Pride and prejudice #But also many other work #They are centuries old being so they definitely love to quote some obscure thing #Arthur pendragon #merlin emrys #merlin bbc #the knights of camelot #gwen merlin #Sir lancelot is also chilling in the background with Merlin's vampire ex btw #He definitely knows what is going on #My shit

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aus-nobody-asked-for · 8 months

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Merlin, but everytime Uther catches a magic user either Morgana or Arthur breaks them out. This is going on since Morgana turned eleven.

Somehow they've never met each other while helping the prisoners. Also both of them are quite sure that the other one would definitely tell Uther about their crime. Uther, more paranoid than ever, is desperately trying to find the cause of the escapes and his ideas are getting more and more dangerous for Camelot.

On his first day in Camelot Merlin does not run into an execution but catches Morgana smuggling the accused out of the Dungeons.

Merlin, now manservant of Arthur Pendragon, starts using his new position to gather extra resources for their mission. With the sudden increase of arrests this does not stay unnoticed.

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vulgarvulcan · 1 year

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gaius: merlin, i checked your-

merlin: gaius, can i get a ride to-

gaius: no. listen, i checked your browsing history-

merlin: okay, i was honestly trying to spell “pianist” then all of a sudden all that just popped up and i didn’t-

gaius: no, i’m talking about these

merlin: what?

gaius: “how to hurt your friend’s father”?

merlin: found some pretty good ideas

gaius: “is it illegal to hit your friend’s father”?

merlin: turns out yes it is

gaius: “are old men strong”?

merlin: okay that one wasn’t clear

gaius: “how much does a hitman cost”?

merlin: 10,000 pounds

gaius: “how to make 10,000£ fast”?

merlin: wasn’t very helpful

gaius: “how much is 3 pennies”?

merlin: not that much

gaius: “where to get a hitman for 3 pence”?

merlin: there is none

gaius: i just don’t get it. “are princes allowed to date peasants”?

merlin: they are not

gaius: “is arthur pendragon single”?

merlin: he is not

gaius: “who is arthur pendragon’s fiancé”?

merlin: some bitch named elena

gaius: “do you go to jail if you cheat on your fiancé”?

merlin: you don’t

gaius: “will a hitman take out two people?”

merlin: uther, elena

gaius: this is ridiculous! “will i go to jail if i hire the hitman”?

merlin: i will

gaius: “do you get to take showers with other people in jail”?

merlin: you do

gaius: “what happens in the showers in jail”?

merlin: uuuuhhhh

gaius: “things that people go to jail for”?

merlin: robbing banks

gaius: “what does robbery mean”?

merlin: to steal stuff

gaius: “where is the closest bank to my house”?

merlin: down the street

gaius: merlin, this is crazy! and where do you need a ride to anyway?

merlin: the bank

#if camelot had shit like the internet and showers and banks #i am so dumb #this is inspired by a tiktok by jasonbankscomedy #incorrect quotes #merlin #merthur #arthur pendragon #bbc merlin #incorrect quote #colin morgan #bradley james #uther pendragon #anthony head #crack #funny #meme #tiktok #emrys

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sehnsuchts-trunken · 2 years

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new uquiz! it's a bbc merlin themed one this time and it's purely crack, so have fun with it!!!

#uquiz #bbc merlin #merlin #camelot knights #knights of the round table #sir lancelot #sir gwaine #sir leon #sir elyan #sir percival #mordred #does he have a sir #idk #arthur #too #crack

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strawlessandbraless · 11 months

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Uther if he was only a bit of a homophobic asshole:

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oautincorrectquotes · 1 year

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Regina: The real treasure was the memories we made in Camelot.

Killian: I almost died!

Regina: Ah yes, that was my fondest memory.

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justaferalcrow · 11 months

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Merlin (bbc) Characters As Things My Friends And I Have Said

Gwaine: I actually almost set something on fire this morning 😎 Percival: Something as in himself. Arthur: I think you just killed the rest of the braincells I had for today. Gwaine: You're only willing to jump off a cliff if you die in the process?? Elyan: Sure, it'll end before I know it. Gwaine: Change of plans, we're bungee jumping. You bring the cords I bring the snacks. Merlin: WHAT KIND OF SOCIOPATH JUST DRINKS BEAN SOUP??? Arthur: I need one of two things right now, eight hours of sleep or an ungodly amount of caffeine. Since the sleep isn’t going to happen, I better go search for some coffee. Gwaine: So now you're gonna kill me for the aesthetic? Leon: Bank tellers do voodoo? Percival: 'Cause who needs a spine, right? Gwaine: YEET THE CHILD Gwaine: I'd be willing to die if it meant someone would name a dog after me. Merlin: Steal the doggo. Arthur: How do you expect a horse to be a politician? Merlin: Idk what to eat. Gaius: I'd suggest food. Gwaine: Kill the Spanish with a sickle. Percival: The language, not the people, don't worry. We're not racist. Merlin: Coffee shouldn't be defiled by the evil that is milk and sugar. It should be pure. Stimulating. A slap in the face to wake you up. Bitter to sustain you. It shouldn't be a pleasure. It should be a privilege. Arthur: IT'S GARLANDS YOU ABSOLUTE BABBLING FOOL! Merlin: NO, IT'S BUNTING, EVERYONE SHOULD CALL THEM BUNTING! Gwaine: NO, IT'S FLAG THINGIES! Percival: GUYS, THEY'RE TRIANGLES! Gwaine: gasp You're right though. Merlin: Another one of my friends wants me to kidnap her, we have a whole trip planned. Gwen: Milk is an ingredient, not a beverage.

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liroyalty · 5 days

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"Oh... you got one of them Anns. ... Good luck, her nosiness will be very annoying."

"I love my little bluebird, & if anything happens to her, I'm killing all of you bitches & then myself. Starting with you vampire, because you're the most likely to do that shit."

"Hey, I might not have a sister or a friend, but I have daughters! I would never!"

"... Holy shit. Did the insane one just take a moral standing?"

"Maybe she isn't completely insane."

"When you remember that Fiona is the closest thing to Ann in that universe, it makes sense."

"... Can we count Fiona as being the most unhinged Ann then, even if she's a child?"

#suzanne ying li fiorenobila {divine empress of night}#『v!ffxvi』#『v!witch of the woods』#『v!queen of dracul』#『v!house of the dragonriders』#『v!ffx』#『v!enchantress of camelot and avalon』#crack!raiding the royal treasury

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merlinfic · 2 years

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um, excuse me? i was dying

Author: JoeyTheMusician

Rating: T

Setting: Canon AU

Word Count: 30,448

Summary:

Gideon is a fourteen year old boy who wants to know the real tea. Camelot has a lot of secrets to offer.

1. The prince's manservant has magic and everyone knows (except the prince)

2. The prince is in love with his manservant and everyone knows (except the manservant)

OR The Office if it was Merthur in Camelot...

“Shouldn’t you be doing- do you have a job?” The two turned to him.

“I don’t have a job. I’m fourteen. Mum makes good money in the kitchens and I just stay out of trouble.” Sir Gwaine raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, you do a good job of that, do you?” He blushed. It wasn’t like he had been arrested yet.

“How do you come to the banquets if you’re not a servant yourself?” Merlin was gawking at him as he asked. It was the most emotion he had had on his face for days.

“Shouldn’t you be more concerned about yourself? The love of your life is over there getting courted.” Gideon pointed over his shoulder.

Reader’s Comments: This is one of the most well written fluff pieces I have read that is slightly long with just perfect characterisations. The OCs are just too good and I always read this when I wanna feel good.

Thanks to @emrysmalfoy for sending in this rec!

#other: readers recs #merthur fic rec #merlin fic rec #rating: t #canonau #30k40k #setting: camelot #relationship: get together #theme: crack #theme: magic reveal #theme: humor #arthur: pining #arthur: oblivious #arthur: jealous #~#mod danielle

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