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andromedasstarship · 3 years

Text

in the stars - chapter 4

photo credit - @ssa-emilyhotchner

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

warnings - canon typical criminal minds, stalking, angst. pretty tame chapter

summary - “I’m on a date.” You responded flatly. The other end of the line went silent.

a/n - hi besties. so this chapter is p short compared to the last one, i had like 7k something chapter 4 and it just didnt feel right, BUT that means chapter 5 is basically done i just need to edit it soooooooooooo hopefully wont take a long time lol! enjoy, heart yall forever

masterlist // series masterlist // read it on ao3

chapter 3 / chapter 5

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The rest of the team was left in various levels of shock. Everyone was struggling to process the bomb of information that had just been revealed. With hindsight, it was easy to connect the strange levels of tension and intimacy that radiated between you and Hotch. What was more difficult to swallow, was the new understanding that Hotch had been keeping this secret for nearly five years. Random ‘trips’ that Hotch would take out of state or the subtle sprinkles of wealth showing up in the form of gifts suddenly made sense.

This was completely uncharted territory for the entire team. Given Hotch’s history, it wasn’t too difficult to understand how protective he may be of any relationships post-Haley; but the magnitude of your relationship- both in terms of your status as well as length-, and the withholding of information even on the case was a different form of betrayal that couldn’t be kicked under the rug.

Hotch had always been one of the fiercest advocates for unity, truth and an equal playing field when it came to information concerning a case,- Morgan was still feeling second hand embarrassment for Jordan- for him to be the one to hold back such influential info was difficult to fully wrap their heads around. Anger, of course, was felt and there would certainly be time for that anger- not even getting started on the amount of questions everyone was bound to have-, but as the team was silently processing, they all reached similar conclusions. Hotch was displaying a softness and side of him they hadn’t seen in a very long time and they wouldn’t let their valid frustrations get in the way of solving this case.

Morgan was the first to speak, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I need to text Garcia about this.” He said, shaking the phone a bit. Everyone managed to laugh at that, all certain that Garcia would have the most interesting reaction to the news.

“You know…, the other day when she was giving me a tour of her house, I pointed out a bottle of Dalmore 25 she had on the wall. She got really weird about it and I thought she was trying to play modest, but this, this makes a lot more sense.” JJ remarked lightheartedly.

“So now we know Hotch has some game then, huh?” Morgan quipped, a large grin on his face. When everyone just stared blankly back at him, even more confused than they already were he continued. “Do you all not remember when he ‘magically’ got a bottle of Dalmore 45, those start at twelve grand”

Reid was about to open his mouth and add to the conversation, but just as the words were leaving his mouth Hotch stormed back into the conference room. One hand was tightly balled in a fist while the other was gripping his phone.

“She’s not answering her phone. Three times, it went straight to voicemail.”

“She isn’t on set today, when she left this morning she told me she had work related errands to run.” Emily recounted, racking her brain for any more info about your whereabouts.

Hotch strode over to an open laptop at the edge of the table, quickly hitting a series of buttons until a very flustered Garcia appeared on screen; her mouth dropping open when she saw Hotch.

“Questions later Garcia,” Hotch opened, already anticipating that someone Derek would have informed her of the latest news, “I need you to track Y/N. I want her current and last location.”

“Yes sir! I uh, I will do that right now for you.” Garcia responded, clearly doing her best to hold back the hoard of questions and comments she had. The sound of her vigorously typing filled the room. “Alright sir, so the bad news is that it looks like her phone is currently turned off, but! The last place it pinged at was outside of Chateau Marmont about three hours ago. Which for those of you who don’t know this place is notorious for being the A-lister hideaway-”

“Garcia, do a wide search for her name and location for today’s date. Check to see if there’s been any media sightings on her whereabouts.” Hotch ordered. He hadn’t forgotten how uneasy it had made him once he found out how easy it was to locate you. Paparazzi were a different form of ruthless and he’d never realized how difficult it actually was for people in the spotlight until he met you.

“Let me see…, yes sir you are right! I’m getting a bunch of hits of her entering the-” Garcia’s sentence falling off with an ‘oh’.

“Garcia, what’d you find?”

A headline popped up on the screen.

“Emma Co-Stars Pictured Together Out At Lunch: Has The Love Moved Past The Screen?”

Underneath, multiple photos of you quickly loaded. There you were, cheerily standing next to your co-star, looking up at him with a big grin on your face. The photos showed the two of you in different positions as you made your way inside. A few of him as he opened the car door for you. One of you with your arm wrapped loosely around his while you walked up the door. One of you ducking under his arm as you entered the restaurant.

The tension in the room was palpable as everyone did their own mini attempt at profiling the photo. It was difficult, you’d clearly proven to be a great actress and they knew you were capable of manipulating your outward emotions. It was even more difficult considering it was just a handful of mediocre quality photos.

Hotch was tightly gripping the edge of the table, forcing himself to keep a level head. He knew it was unreasonable to get angry over the idea of you with another man, but it didn’t help the pang in his heart as he recognized the genuine signs of happiness you were emitting.

“JJ,” Hotch said, voice dangerously calm, “call the restaurant and have them discreetly tell Y/N that ‘Andi’ is calling her.” Discretion was the highest priority for him, the envelope being even further confirmation that the unsub was closely trailing you. The last thing he wanted to do was either trigger a violent reaction or cause him to go underground.

Back when the two of you had been together, out of an abundance of caution, you used to refer to Aaron as ‘Andi’ in public. You hated not being able to thank him in speeches or mention him in any capacity, so this had been your best way around it.

“Yes sir.” JJ responded, quickly moving out of the room to make the phone call.

“Garcia, do you have any leads on the kid that dropped off the envelope?” Hotch asked.

“No sir. The car he left in was reported stolen a few days ago with no leads as to where it went. Camera feeds loose the car about three blocks away and his face was too obstructed to get any hits that way.”

“Alright, once JJ comes back with confirmation Y/N’s gotten the message, I’m going to pick her up. I want the rest of you to work with Garcia and categorize these photos. Cross reference whatever you can to get a timeline.” Hotch ordered, the rest of the team not being to be told twice.

-----

“Where the hell are you?” Aaron demanded.

Even through the phone, you could tell he was absolutely seething. It was bad, by the time you had picked up the phone you’d amassed a total of twenty texts and nearly ten missed calls from Aaron; not even mentioning the individual missed calls you had from each member of the team. It was bad, but in your defense it had been less than an hour from the first missed call to your current response.

What could you say? You were big on not being on your phone when you were spending time with friends.

“What do you mean, where the hell am I,” you answered, rolling your eyes as you leaned up against one of the private bathroom countertops. “How did you describe it before Agent? I’m very in ‘demand’.”

You could hear him groan through the phone and wondered if he was running his hands over his face; something he used to always do when you were being difficult; he absolutely was.

“Y/N-”

“I’m on a date.” You responded flatly. The other end of the line went silent. As you were debating whether or not you should add the part about it being a publicity date, Aaron’s voice came through.

“End it. I’m picking you up. The drive there from the station shouldn’t be more than 30 minutes.” Aaron said, his voice dangerously even.

“I’m perfectly capable of getting back to the station on my own Agent. I don’t need you stirring up an absolute scene-”

“Y/N,” he started, voice commanding in a way that told you he was serious, “a package was delivered to the station today. Filled with hundreds of photos of you over the years,” he paused again and you could hear him take a deep breath before continuing, “there’s photos of us in there. The unsub knows.”

You went silent, mouth opening over and over, unable to find anything to say. You had always envisioned a world where you and Aaron were some sort of ‘public’ knowledge, but never like this, obviously never like this.

“Y/N, I need to come get you,” Hotch said, his voice much softer now, “I can’t-, I need to see that you’re safe.”

“I’ll make something up,” You said quickly, before adding, “there’s a private valet area, I’ll send you the instructions to get past the gates and I’ll let the security know you’re coming to pick me up.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes, don’t draw any attention to yourself.” And with that he hung up, leaving you stunned in the bathroom. You gripped the edges of the counter, staring at yourself in the mirror. You wished you could stay in the bathroom for hours, desperately needing some time to privately process what Aaron had told you.

That wasn’t in the cards for you though, so you quickly did some pointless attempts at ‘straightening’ your appearance- more for your benefit than anything else- before you turned the lock and left back for your table

You slipped back into your seat across from your friend and co-star Johnny.

“Your friend alright?” Johnny asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” you said with a small smile, “she’s fine. But my Agent called me when I was in there, she apparently managed to set up some last minute FBI consult to help me prep for an audition I have coming up. According to her, she ‘pulled a lot of strings for this’.” You said, rolling your eyes. The lie sliding out of your mouth with ease. “Whoever this FBI dude is, is supposed to come pick me up right about,” you looked down at your phone, “now apparently. So I guess our little date has to end early.” You said, giving him an exaggerated sad pout.

Johnny rolled his eyes at that, giving you a small laugh. The two of you were both equally uninterested, romantically, in each other. But you did get along quite well, so being ‘forced’ into hanging out with each other outside of filming wasn’t bad; you’d probably hang out outside of filming anyway

“No worries, we still on for running lines later tonight?” He asked.

You thought for a moment, before nodding. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Now, help me flag down the waiter, I want to get one last drink in before I go.”

-----

About twenty minutes later you found yourself waiting out in the private courtyard of the restaurant. You were doing your best to calm your nerves, this being the first opportunity you had to try and process what Aaron had told you. You should’ve seen it coming, if the stalker was so obsessed with you, he must’ve noticed Aaron in your life at some point. But you had been so careful.

Then the other obvious thing hit you. His team knew. You were wondering how the team had taken the news when you saw the black SUV come into view. Aaron quickly stopped the car in front of you and before you could move to open the passenger door yourself, he was out of his seat in a flash, coming over to where you were standing.

For a moment you were both silent. You felt tiny under his unrelenting gaze, his eyes scanning your entire being as he ensured himself you were okay.

Without thinking, you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist, ensnaring his arms tight to his side. As soon you realized what you did, you were internally kicking yourself, moving to loosen your arms nearly as fast as you had put them there.

“Aaron I-”

Before you could finish your attempted apology, Aaron had pulled his arms from under yours and repositioned them around you, pulling you tightly against him. Your head naturally fit perfectly under his and you took in a deep breath, letting his scent surround you. It was cliche, but you both were thinking about how perfectly your bodies melded against each other.

You felt his hand rest gently on the back of your head, gently stroking down your hair in a steady rhythm. “I got you.” He whispered, so quiet you nearly didn’t hear it.

You pulled your head back so you could look up at him. “I’m scared.” You said, admitting it aloud for the first time.

Aaron was staring hard down at you, his face soft. “I know,” he started, moving a piece of hair away from your face, “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, okay?”

You nodded at that, missing his warmth when he started to pull away from you. He kept a protective hand on your lower back, guiding you towards the passenger seat. He opened the door and helped you in, gently shutting the door behind you. As soon as your door was shut he wasted no time in getting in the driver's seat, starting the car up again. With a quick check to make sure your seatbelt clicked was in, Aaron peeled out of the parking lot.

A few floors above the courtyard, in one of the private hotel rooms, a curtain was angrily thrown shut.

-----

taglist - @mac99martin @iwaizumiee @kylorendrip @hqtchner @lieswithoutfairytales @ssahoodrathotchner @midsummernightdream @weasleylovers @evans-dejong @itsmytimetoodream @yoshigguk @28cnn @cuddlyklaus @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @yallgotkik @sunflowersandotherthings @averyhotchner @kimmy-k-k @uwu-sebastianstan

a/n- if youve asked to be on the taglist and dont see urself, please send another message! im really bad about putting people on my tag document lol, even if ive like responded in tumblr!!

no permission is given to copy or republish my writing on any other platform or account. if you see this story outside of my blog or my ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own nor claim to own criminal minds or any of the character involved in it.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner/you #aaron hotchner/reader #self insert fic #'stori talks #in the stars #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic

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sbtlns · 3 years

Text

Tiny Dancer

Warnings: smut (!) kind of a crack fic

A/N: so uh we all agree that the finale was trash right? aight just checkin. anyways i reality shifted when i had a high fever and lived a version of this so i figured i would make yall live it too. part two?

Castiel’s cheeks flushed as you moved to straddle the naked angel. His hand moved instinctively to your waist, holding you close as you leaned down to nip at his ear. He groaned at your action, sending a new wave of heat to your core. You continued your ministrations, nipping and sucking at the tender parts of his neck while the debauched angel squirmed beneath you. “y/n,” he said in a strained voice. You stopped your actions to look down at him, meeting his desperate look. You cocked an eyebrow, prompting him to spit it out. “Please,” he strained, raising his hips to meet yours. Deciding you had tortured him enough, you raised your hips slightly and reached beneath you to align him with your entrance. Before you sunk down on him, you gave him one more ‘are-you-sure?’ type of look. He nodded vehemently and you smiled to yourself, returning your focus to his hardened member slightly probing your entrance. You lowered yourself onto him slowly, savoring the way he stretched you out. He moaned a string of your name, each seeming more urgent. “Cas,” you gasped. “y/n.....Y/N.....Y/N!”

You shot up in bed, the sound of Dean yelling your name and pounding on your door startling you to say the least. “Yeah?” you croaked, trying to regain your composure. Dean sighed from the other side of the door, finally, he thought, only took five minutes. “We’ve got a case. Map Room in 5,” he said gruffly. Sensing your annoyance, he added, “Sam made coffee.”

With the promise of coffee, you begrudgingly got out of your bed, shoving the remnants of your dream to the back corner of your mind. You had known Cas for quite some time now, long enough to know that he doesn’t understand human feelings well, let alone romantic feelings. That’s why you decided to try and bury the small crush you had developed for him, which was becoming increasingly harder with the dreams you had been having recently.

Sighing, you got dressed and made your way to the Map Room where you were met with a grumpy looking Dean and a smiling Sam. “Coffee,” Sam said, reaching from his seat to hand you a fresh mug. You were about to thank him when Dean cut you off, “I said 5, not 7.” You threw him a bitch face before turning back to Sam and mouthing thank you, and he smiled in response. You sat down across from Sam as Cas walked in, looking a bit flustered.

“Sorry I’m late, I was caught up in another matter,” he rushed, making his way through the room to join you at the table. “ ‘S alright, Cas, no sweat,” Dean replied, sitting down with a grunt, across from you and Castiel. “Hold up, I got here before Cas why does he get a ‘no worries Cas,’” you mocked in a high pitched voice, “while I get a ‘how dare you be two minutes late,’” you said in you best gruff Dean voice. Sam almost spit out his coffee, earning a huff of annoyance from Dean. “Maybe because Cas didn’t make me bang on his door for five minutes while he was off in dreamland” he countered. Your face blushed at the mention of dreaming, trying not to think of the hot sex scene you had just dreamt about the angel next to you. “Whatever” you huffed, “let’s just get on to the case, yeah?”

Sam nodded, pulling up his laptop. “So get this, reports of cattle mutilations, power outages, and now three missing persons reports all in y/h/t. I’m thinking demons. What about you guys?” Dean nodded, sipping at his coffee. “Sounds like our kinda thing” he replied. Castiel nodded silently in agreement. Sam turned to face you, “y/n, thoughts?” Your heart was beating fast and you were sure your cheeks were red. Sam looked at you with furrowed brows. “Hey, you good?” he asked concerned. You forced a smile and nodded, realizing now that the three men were all staring at you. You cleared your throat before saying, “Yeah, it’s just...that’s my hometown is all.” You sighed, “You’re right, sounds like demons though,” you added quickly before taking another sip of coffee. The three men shared a quick glance.

“Um,” Sam started uneasily, “You gonna be okay taking this case?” he asked genuinely. You hadn’t shared much about your past with the boys, nodding and laughing at the stories about their past they told you and quickly changing the subject before anyone could ask about yours. You nodded curtly, raising the mug to your lips again. Memories of your past filled your mind, not totally unpleasant, but enough to make you uneasy about returning to your hometown. You were silently hoping that you could get in kill whatever douchebag demons were causing havoc, and get out without having to deal with anything dealing with your old job.

Sam didn’t seem convinced. “You sure? I mean we could always call Garth and see-” “I’m sure,” you cut him off. You stood from your chair abruptly, causing the legs to squeak unpleasantly. “I’ll get packed and meet you guys in the garage,” you said before turning on your heel and making your way to your room. You grabbed a bag and filled it with the essentials, glancing at the pair of cowboy boots sitting long ignored in your closet. You sighed to yourself, remembering happier moments from your old job, before management became a shit show. Feeling nostalgic, you decided to throw the boots in your bag before zipping it and heading to the garage.

The boys were already chatting by the car when you made your way to the garage. You threw your bag in the trunk, closed it, and climbed in the back of Baby, the boys following suit. On the drive to your hometown, Dean sheepishly handed you a stack of cassettes, his way of apologizing for earlier. You beamed back at him and picked out your favorites, handing them to Sam to queue up. Not before long, your eyelids grew heavy and you drifted off to sleep in the backseat.

Dean must’ve hit a bump, because you woke up with a start, disoriented for a moment. It took a second for you to realize that in your sleep, you had laid your head on Castiel’s shoulder, close enough to him so that you were practically draped along his side. You quickly scrambled back to your side of the car, not missing the soft smile and forlorn look Cas had given you. “Oh look, sleeping beauty’s awake,” Dean joked. You stuck your tongue out at him, settling back into your seat. “So y/n, we found out that all three vics have something in common, they’re all regulars at some place called The Saloon” Sam filled you in, placing a Southern drawl on the name of your past employer.

Your blood ran ice cold and you stared back at him with wide eyes. He was still smiling, pleased with himself for his accent, when he realized you were panicking. The smile dropped from his face. “What’s wrong?” he asked, drawing Dean and Castiel’s attention. Dean shot you a confused glance from the rearview. “What’s wrong princess? Don’t like linedancing?” he joked. You gulped. “Um,” you started. “I uh...” you cleared your throat. “I used to work there,” you mumbled. Sam raised his eyebrows in amusement and Dean fought back a laugh. “Wha-you,” he wheezed, struggling not to burst out laughing. “Our very own tiny dancer, huh?” he mused. You huffed and crossed your arms across your chest, cheeks burning red. Sam turned back around in his seat, holding his laughter in with a smile. Castiel broke the silence, “I don’t understand, is it shameful to dance in a line?” With that, the boys couldn’t hold it in any longer and burst out into fits of laughter.

The rest of the drive wasn’t too bad, besides Dean’s off-tune humming of Elton John’s Tiny Dancer. You pulled into town and checked into the nearest motel, silently thanking the universe that Dean had booked two separate rooms. You might have offed yourself then and there if you had to spend another night listening to Sam’s snores. After settling in, you got dressed in your FBI best and met back by the car. The four of you drove to The Saloon, you becoming more and more anxious the closer you got. Dean pulled up to the gravel lot and took in the building with an amazed look. He kept his eyes on the building as he got out of the car, “Oh ho ho, get look at this,” he said incredulously. Before you stood a massive red barn with a huge blinking neon sign of a half naked woman riding a bull with a lasso spinning in her hand.

“Yeah yeah, let’s just get this over with,” you huffed, pushing past him and walking into the bar. The familiar scent of beer and cigarettes hit you the second you walked in, taking in the sight of the huge stage in front of you along. A few girls were dancing on stage, with a handful of customers sitting and watching. You heard the door open behind you as the boys stepped in and sighed before turning to face them. Dean looked like a kid on Christmas smiling widely and looking around the bar, while Sam scanned the room looking for the owners. Cas stood in place, staring perplexed at the women dancing. You followed his gaze to the stage where one of the girls was swinging her hips slowly and deliberately to the beat of the song. You turned back to him, his head cocked to the side as he mumbled, “Well that’s inappropriate.”

Trying to hide the blush creeping to your cheeks, you quickly turned back around, just in time to see your old manager strutting towards you. You took a deep breath, ready for the coming bullshit. “Well well well,” he said with a smug smirk on his face. “If it isn’t Miss Daisy Duke herself.” You felt your cheeks get hot and heard Dean snort. “I’m sorry,” Dean said, looking at you like this was too good to be true. “Daisy Duke?” he repeated. Your cheeks were burning by this point, praying that the floor would open up and swallow you whole.

“That’s right,” your old manager said in his chill inducing Southern drawl. “You know how it goes, ‘nice legs...daisy dukes...makes a man go-’” he whistled, finishing the line and turning your cheeks an even deeper red. “Miss Daisy here was our pride and joy,” he said, turning to Dean. “Best dance this bar has ever seen,” he finished, turning back to you. He smiled devilishly at you, humming in contentment. “To what do I owe the pleasure, Miss Daisy?” he asked sickeningly sweetly. Fighting to hold on to whatever shred of dignity you had left, you pulled out your fake badge and held it up. “It’s Agent Jett now, thanks,” you spat, flashing it in his face before putting it back in your jacket pocket. He squinted back at you. Sam cleared his throat in attempt to break the tension before telling him about the missing persons reports. Your old boss soaked in the information Sam was giving him, but stayed silent, still squinting at you.

Sam looked uncomfortably between the two of you before clearing his throat again and asking, “Do you have any security cameras that might have caught anything? Any possible witnesses?” Your old boss shifted his glance to Sam and replied, “Maybe.” Sam stared back, waiting for him to continue. When he didn’t, Dean cut in. “Maybe?” he asked gruffly with an eyebrow cocked. Your old boss nodded, pursing his lips together. “Depends,” he stated simply, crossing his arms. You could tell Dean was losing his patience quickly because he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “On what?” he asked, voice tight. Your old boss simply shrugged. “On if Miss Daisy will give us another show tonight.”

Your jaw dropped open. Did he say what you thought he said? Sam, Dean, and Cas all turned to stare at you, trying to gauge your reaction. Dean looking more amused than anything, and Sam trying to see whether or not he had to step in between you. “I’m sorry, what?” you croaked. Your old boss gave you the same devilish smile that sent chills down your spine. “I said,” he took another step closer to you, “I’ll talk...if you would grace The Saloon with one last dance. For old time’s sake.” The three boys looked at you expectingly. You looked incredulously among them. “You can’t be serious,” you protested.

He was. You found yourself back in your motel room, changing out of your FBI clothes and into your shortest denim shorts and your most revealing tanktop. You silently cursed yourself for packing your boots, as it seemingly jinxed you into your current situation. After you were changed, you fell back into your old routine of hair and makeup, becoming almost unrecognizable in the mirror. As you were applying the last bit of hairspray, you heard a knock at your door. “Y/n, we gotta go!” you heard Dean yell. Sighing, you slipped into your boots, took one last look in the mirror, and summoned the courage to open the door.

When you opened the door, it took them a second to react, all three reacting differently. Sam looked at you with raised brows and an amused smile, Dean whistled, and Castiel’s eyes widened before slowly trailing down your body. You felt yourself blush under his scrutiny, until it became unbearable and you snapped your fingers in his face. “My eyes are up here buddy,” you feigned anger, startling him from his trance. “I-uh m-my apologies, y/n” he stumbled over his words, looking down at his feet. Dean laughed and clapped his shoulder before walking towards Baby.

The drive over was silent, with the occasional ‘heh’ from Dean, as he thought about the ridiculousness of this day. You dreaded every mile he drove closer to the bar, wondering why Castiel couldn’t have just used his angel powers to make your old boss cough up whatever info he had. You sighed as Dean pulled up to the bar once again and begrudgingly opened your car door. “Did you guys really have to come?” you whined, trying to stall. “Of course we did princess. What if the demons are here tonight?” Dean said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes at the excuse. Sam turned to you with a look of pity. “Seriously though, y/n, if you’re uncomfortable at any point just say the word. We’ll leave and we can find another way to get the information,” he said and smiled softly. You nodded and sighed before making your way into the barn.

You opened the door and to your dismay, the place was packed. You groaned as you stepped further in before you made eye contact with one of your old coworkers. “Y/n?” she said shocked, a huge smile forming on her face. “Jimmy said you were coming but I didn’t believe him, no one did,” she said before pulling you into a huge hug. You relaxed into the hug, her being one of the very few people in town that you still kept in contact with. “Yeah well,” you said pulling back. “One night only kinda thing,” you finished, choosing to ignore the way her and Dean were eye-fucking next to you. She turned her attention back to you and took your hand. “Well, we better get you stage ready, Jimmy’s queuing up your signature!” she said excitedly, pulling you away. You threw a quick glance behind you at the boys before realization dawned on you. “Hey!” you yelled back to them, getting their attention. “Do NOT sit in this section!” you tried to point to the front left, but your friend was pulling you too fast and they just gave you confused looks.

Before you knew it, you were back stage, pacing with anxiety. You heard the current song stop and you dreaded what was coming. “Ladies and gentlemen,” you heard Jimmy’s chilling voice draw out. “Please give a big Saloon welcome...returning back to the stage... Miss Daisy Duke!” You shoved your nerves down and forced a smile before strutting out on stage. You quickly fell back into your old routine, strutting around the stage and swaying your hips to your opening music. One dance and that’s all you said to yourself. You knew that from the song Jimmy had chosen, your signature, that in the middle of the routine you would have to go down to the audience and dance for whoever the spotlight shown on. You continued your dance, praying that the boys had listened to you and had chosen anywhere else to sit. As the part of the song drew closer, you scanned the audience to gauge about who you would be giving a lapdance to. Dean raised his hand to catch your scanning eyes, with the biggest smile you’d ever seen on him. You rolled your eyes before realizing that they hadn’t taken your warning and had sat in that section.

You shot him a death glare before turning back to your dance, hoping that the spotlight would shine on anyone but them. The drunken cheers and whistles from the crowd were just about the only thing keeping you from running off stage and straight to the motel. You heard the cue in the music, prompting you to saunter down the main steps and into the audience. Sighing to yourself, you grabbed the mic and made your way to the steps. The music stopped, prompting your lines. “Gentlemen,” you said with your best honeyed Southern accent. “It’s one of your lucky nights” you finished, and the music started back up. You felt all eyes on you and tried to keep yourself from freaking out as you continued your routine. You heard the third cue in the music as the spotlight came down. You held your breath, praying that it would land anywhere but where it did. To your horror, it landed on Castiel.

Fuck you thought. The angel looked utterly confused, looking up and around him, completely thrown off by the sudden wash of light encompassing him. If it was possible, Dean’s smile grew even wider as he excitedly looked to Cas and clapped him on the shoulder. Castiel looked at him through furrowed brows, before following his gaze to you. You locked eyes with the bewildered angel, walking over to him as sexy as you could. A surge of confidence filled you when you saw his Adam’s apple bob and his jaw clench. In accordance with your routine, you walked right up to Castiel and kneeled in front of him, gently nudging his knees apart so you could settle between them. Castiel looked down at you with wide eyes, throat bobbing once more.

“And what might your name be, handsome?” you said into the mic, part of the routine. You held the mic out to Cas, which made him even more confused as he stared into your eyes, searching for any clue as to why you were asking for his name. The music was stopped again, waiting for his reply. Dean elbowed him, prompting him to answer. “Uh... Cas-Castiel,” he finally spat out. You mouthed a quick I’m so sorry and gave him an apologetic look before standing up and saying “Well, Castiel, I’ve got a special treat for you.” The music came back on and you handed the mic off to a stagehand, before turning back to Cas.

With the spotlight still on him, you sauntered over to Castiel, swaying your hips to the music along the way. He sat unnaturally still, legs still apart from when you spread them, just barely exposing the small bulge beginning to form in his pants. You felt heat pool in your core at the sight, struggling to keep your focus on the routine. You made your way back in front of him, before turning away from him to swing your hips to the music. Turning back around, you saw him watching your movements closely, his once bright blue eyes now dark, pupils blown out from lust. You swallowed before placing your hands on his shoulders and climbing onto his lap. This surprised him, as his breath caught in his throat and his hands flew instinctively to your hips. You leaned in to whisper “don’t touch, the bodyguards won’t allow it.” He ripped hands off of you as if your skin burned him and he looked up at you with wide eyes.

You began grinding against him, moving your hips to the music and gaining more drunken cheers, one distinctively from Dean, earning him a smack on the back of his head from his younger brother. Castiel couldn’t care less about the audience, you had his undivided attention. He couldn’t help the noises coming from the back of his throat, nor could he seem to keep his vessel under control. His hands twitched at his sides, desperate to touch you. You felt him becoming harder and harder, making it more difficult for you to stay focused on your routine. You climbed off his lap, danced in front of him some more, and then sat back down, this time facing away from him. You ground you ass against his hardened member, earning a low moan from the angel. You felt your panties dampening, enjoying this just as much as he was. You continued grinding against him to the music, the crowd continuing to cheer, and Castiel continuing to squirm beneath you.

Once more, you stood up from him, danced more of your routine, and straddled the utterly debauched angel. You worked hard to avoid eye contact, but slipped up and locked eyes with Castiel. To your delight, he donned the same desperate look from the dream you had earlier that morning. You shifted your hips to grind against him, causing his head to fall back to his shoulders and his mouth to part slightly. More heat pooled in your core the more you ground against him, a coil starting to form in your belly. Fuck you thought to yourself. Luckily, the fourth and final cue came in the music, signaling your return to the stage. You breathed a sigh of relief, climbed off of him, and pecked his cheek before sauntering back to the stage to finish the song. From the stage, you watched Castiel shift uncomfortably in his seat, trying and failing to conceal his tented slacks.

Finally, the song ended and you blew a kiss to the crowd before skipping off stage, thankful to be done. While you were chatting with some of the girls, Dean came to get you, trying to hide his amusement as he told you Sam had gotten the tapes from Jimmy. You breathed a sigh of relief, glad that this night was over. Dean walked you back out to the car, where Sam and Cas were waiting. Cas looked up hearing footsteps, and his eyes widened when they met yours. He quickly looked down and avoided your stare until you got back to the car. The four of you got in silently and sat for a moment before you heard Dean breathe in as if he was about to say something.

“Don’t,” you said quickly. “I don’t want to hear anything about tonight ever again. Capiche?” Dean muttered something under his breath and Sam gave you a tight nod, eager to also forget the events of the night. You took a deep breath and turned to Cas. “Castiel,” you began, and you could’ve sworn you saw him flinch at your words. “I really am sorry. I wasn’t expecting it to land on you, I told you three not to sit there..” you trailed off. He couldn’t meet your gaze. Instead he nodded and replied, “Our apologies for not realizing your meaning.” His eyes momentarily flicked up to yours before landing back down into his lap. You followed his gaze, and he seemingly noticed, as he once again shifted in his seat, trying to conceal the still obvious bulge.

This was going to be a fun ride back.

#castiel #cas #castiel x reader #cas x reader #castiel x reader smut #castiel fanfiction #supernatural fic #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural crack

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missmorosis · 3 years

Text

Bad Days

AHH hi everyone! So this was kinda all over the place- also @urmomoness i couldn’t put him in jail. I just couldn’t. Not even for his ponytail crime.

Enjoy another Zuko x Reader! Sorry for doing this to Zuko ahaha- I’m writing like two more Sokka x readers soon to MAYYYBEEE make up for it!! 💖

AHH also! I just reached 40 followers & this is my 200th post :) I love all of you guys, thank you so so so much!! 💖🧡🥺💛💚🥰💗😭✨💜

Pairing: Zuko x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k :)

Warnings: None!

Summary: Zuko was having a really bad day until Y/N came along to cheer him up!

Zuko was having a bad day. Scratch that, his day was worse than bad.

To start off his day, he clicked his phone on to check the time. The time “7:49 AM” flashed up at him. He had 41 minutes to get to work, which was enough time since he just had to get in the car by 8:00. It was a thirty-minute drive, and his shift started at 8:30. He got ready, throwing on some clean clothes, brushing his teeth, and combing his hair. He hopped into the car, sticking his hand into his pocket, searching for his keys.

Shoot. He forgot his keys. He ran back into the house, almost tripping over himself, frantically searching for his car keys. He looked under his mail, around the counter, and in every drawer. Where were they…?

On the edge of his vision, he spotted something bright yellow, hidden under some papers. He shuffled them around and sighed. Thank goodness for Y/N. She had attached a neon yellow cat keychain onto his keys. Now slightly smiling at the memory, he ran back to his car, starting his engine. He pulled out of the driveway but frowned.

Why was the engine making that sound? The car sputtered to a stop. Zuko cursed, jumping out of the car to try and see what was wrong. Smoke was blowing out of the front, and Zuko knew that he couldn’t take the car to work anymore. The only choice he had was to go on foot or catch a bus. The coffee shop was 12 miles away, so he decided to go with riding the bus. He Googled the nearest bus stop and went from there. The closest bus stop was 5 minutes away, and the bus was 3 minutes from reaching that stop!

He ran as fast as he could in order to make it in time, rushing past trees and almost tripping over himself a couple of times. Breathing heavily, he plopped onto the bus stop bench as soon as he arrived. The bench was cold, but he didn’t mind. He was just relieved that he made it in time-

What was that…? He squinted at something in the distance and cursed. The bus already left, and it was getting farther every second. Zuko pulled his hair in frustration. WHY. DID. EVERYTHING. SUCK.

Sighing, he started jogging on the sidewalk, heading toward the coffee shop.

“Zuko?” A white car pulled up next to him after a good amount of time jogging. The window rolled down, revealing a smiling Y/N behind the wheel.

“Y/N! Oh thank goodness, can you please drive me to work? I woke up on time, but I couldn’t find my keys and my car broke down, so I had to take the bus, but the bus left witho-” Y/N stopped Zuko from rambling and unlocked the car door.

“Get in, loser,” she said, laughing. Zuko let out a sigh of relief as he got in next to her, closing the car door behind him.

“Thank you so much, you’re a lifesaver.” He meant it. Zuko didn’t know what he would do if she wasn’t here right now.

“I know. You owe me some boba later, though.” Zuko rolled his eyes.

“Fine. Please take me to work, I’m going to be late.” Y/N started the engine and drove on course to the coffee shop. As soon as they arrived, Y/N blew Zuko a kiss goodbye as he ran into the shop. The bell jingled as he opened the door, rushing in as fast as he could. He glanced at the clock on the wall and cursed under his breath. He was an hour late.

“Zuko. Why were you late? We couldn’t open on time, since you’re our only worker today. I know we said it was going to be a slow day, but that doesn’t mean you can just show up whenever you want to.” His boss looked stern. Zuko looked at the floor, nervous for what was about to come.

“I’m sorry, my car broke down.”

“You missed one hour of your shift.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Zuko. There are a lot of others who want this job. You aren’t exactly the best at making coffee either.” Zuko bit his lip. He knew what was coming.

“I- I know.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to give your job to someone else. I’ll send your last paycheck to you on Monday.” His heart sank. He was officially fired from his job for being late. He knew that the manager was really picky about their workers, but he didn’t know that being late was enough to get fired.

“I... understand.” He opened the front door of the cafe, unable to look anyone in the eye as he walked out. The bell jingled again behind him when he closed the door, leaving the coffee shop behind. He walked away, biting his lip to stop himself from crying. He was just fired. He had no job. He let that sink it. He was just fired. He had no job.

He looked around to see that Y/N’s car was still in the parking lot, and she was just getting ready to pull out. Zuko ran up (he was getting tired of running) and knocked on her car window. She looked up, giving him a perplexed look, but perhaps looking at the state Zuko was in, her face softened. She reached out to open the car door for him, and he fell in.

They drove for a bit in silence, and Zuko thought about what just happened. What was he going to do…? He had no job, he needed a new source of income. He sighed, causing Y/N to glance at him. She kept driving until they pulled up at a boba shop, and now it was Zuko’s turn to look confused.

“Y/N, what are we doing here?” he asked. Y/N smiled at him.

“Well, I know you already owe me boba, but I decided to treat you since you look like you need it.” Y/N parked her car and got out. Zuko opened and closed the car door, making sure that Y/N locked the car, just in case, before he went on. Y/N grabbed his hand and pulled him with her into the boba shop.

He had never been to this place before, and as he stood in line with Y/N by his side, he saw that the shop was called “The Jasmine Dragon.” Hm, interesting name… Zuko thought the name had a nice ring to it.

When it was his turn to order, he had no idea what to get, but luckily, Y/N had his back. “We’ll take two White Lotus teas, please! One with boba, and one without.” Y/N turned to Zuko and whispered, “I promise you’ll like it! It’s totally your taste. Also, I know you hate boba, so yeah.” She remembered... Zuko’s heart felt warm. Y/N remembered the littlest details about him, and he was lucky to have her.

Together, they sat down at a table for two, waiting for their order. When one of the employees called their order number, Y/N gestured for him to stay seated as she went to get their drinks.

She was taking a lot of time to just pick up drinks… After another minute or so, she came back with two teas in her hands. They were aesthetically pleasing; some foamed milk floating to the top of the translucent drink, a bit of brown sugar falling down from the sides. Zuko almost wanted to “instagram” it, even though he wasn’t even that type of person.

“Come on, try a sip.” Y/N pushed one closer to Zuko. He pulled it to his lips, trying a taste. Oh. Oh wow. It was sweet, but not too sweet. It was light and cold, refreshing his taste buds. The flavor was a perfect balance-

“This… this is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.” His eyes widened. Was it possible for anything to taste this heavenly?

“I know, right?! It’s SO good! People say it’s the best in the entire city of Ba Sing Se and I agree.” She stuck the straw into her mouth, drinking the tea as if the straw was permanently stuck to her lips.

Together, they walked out of The Jasmine Dragon, drinks still in their hands.

“Oh!” Y/N turned around to face him. “There’s more!” Her eyes twinkled. More..? “I scored an interview on Tuesday for you! I saw that they were hiring, and I knew something happened to your job earlier.” That’s what she was doing…

“Y/N…” His voice trailed off. “Thank you.” He smiled at her, unable to express his gratitude.

“You still owe me boba!” She laughed, getting into the car once more.

Zuko was having a bad day, but when he ran into Y/N, his day got a lot better.

A/N: hopefully this wasn’t too bad! firing zuko was honestly hard but ofc he has a y/n to cheer him up! LOVE YALL!! thank you for reading 🥺💖

again, thank you for 40 followers & 200 posts :)

Writing Masterlist

Taglist! @urmomoness

#zuko x reader #zuko #atla zuko #atla #atla imagine #atla x you #atla x y/n #atla x reader #zuko x y/n #zuko x you #zuko x yn #zuko imagine #zuko one shot #atla oneshot

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lluvguts · 3 years

Text

Cool Blue ; Chapter Ten

⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚☽˚⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚☽˚⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚

waiting for stars to intertwine

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☽ a/n: totally forgot to add this to the masterpost. if you've read ch ten on ao3 already than ignore this update!! there's gonna be a wip coming yall's way soon too, so be on the look out for that!! <3 love you guys

☽ warnings: blood, self-harm mention, angst

☽ fic masterlist

⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚☽˚⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚☽˚⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚

Luca's heart hammered in his chest, the pain resurfacing, and no matter how hard he hugged his sides, trying to squeeze the heat from inside of him like slippery seaweed, nothing worked. He swam past the island, to cooler, harsher waters, to his home--his actual home. Not whatever he was feeling when he was around Alberto; whatever sort of home that was.

He told Alberto. A monster. That was what he was. He wasn't human, and Alberto made quick use of that information by shoving him off his knees in one swift motion, and leaving his dried-out beach towel as a reminder of it. He told him. So why did he...let it get the best of him?

His head swam, a thick heat-haze clouding his thoughts as he neared the mossy structure, blinking in the darkening waters. Luca touched the edge of the cave entrance, and winced hearing his mother's sharp intake of breath at his presence outside the house. She appeared, followed by Lorenzo, glaring down at him.

"Uh..." Luca mumbled, his words slurred. The throbbing in his gut hadn't dissipated yet, and neither had the phantom-like trembling between his shorts. "...Hey mom? Can - Can I come in?"

Daniela assessed her son before her, the shine, the sweat from Alberto's dark skin had crept beneath his scales and made a home there in the crevices, like old sand. He breathed, and the older boy's (the human's, he corrected himself) smell came rushing back with full force. Immediate. Filling his lungs sweetly but enough that he spluttered on the bubbles slipping under his tongue.

"I told you," Daniela said sternly to Luca's father. "When am I ever wrong?"

"What are you talking about?" Luca's mind began to wander without any direction, aggressively going back to the one time when he was younger and would often forget his curfew at sunset, and Daniela had joked (or had she?) she'd send Luca to The Deep with his uncle if he didn't come home at a reasonable hour. "I know it's late, I'm sorry! I just caught up in something, I swear it won't happen again Mom!"

Lorenzo frowned from behind his wife and placed his webbed hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. It was an unspoken discussion translated between the tense water.

"No, 'Renzo! Don't start with this now! You smell it too!" Daniela growled, taking her son's arm and lifting him up in the water, sniffing his crown of blue fins. "So strong, it's a damned sailor's lighthouse beam!"

"And it's land monster too..." Lorenzo commented softly, scenting the air. Daniela's eyes widened in her anger and her grip on Luca tightened.

Her tone was dangerous, venom. "You went to the land monster town? Where there's humans? In your heat??"

"Mom, no--" Luca protested, her claws beginning to hurt from where they were grasping his shoulder.

"Don't interrupt!" She snapped back. Her tail thrashed in the water, making Luca tense even though his body was already on-edge. "You...You're gonna have to wait this out someplace else! We'll send for Ugo. I can't know that my baby was out there...doing things...with some filthy land monster girl."

"Boy."

Luca and Daniela turned to see Lorenzo, who flushed in embarrassment at getting noticed.

"What?"

"It's clearly a boy, Daniela," Lorenza swam closer and examined the fevered pink scales on Luca's waist and chest. "Smell it. It's...I don't know, hun. It's stronger, I guess. I know when there's a man on those land monster boats, and that," He pointed to Luca. "Is definitely a boy. Land monster. A boy-human, whatever."

Monster. A monster. That was what he was. Luca hovered above the long sea grass of their home, in awe. He could get all of that, just by smelling him?

Daniela's flashing yellow eyes brightened and she clamped her mouth shut, words coming out quick and held back. "That...That. Doesn't. Help."

She released Luca's arm and went to Lorenzo. Luca's tail curled protectively around his leg, trying to soothe himself.

"W-Wait! You can't just leave me out here!"

"We're not leaving you," Lorenzo replied simply. "But until your heat is over, you can't be around the other kids, Lu. It's better if you stay with your uncle Ugo until the Summer season is over."

They had gone. Luca watched, but didn't truly see his parents' figures fade into the darkness of the house, where they slept, and he remained awake.

"Stupid heat! I - I hate being like this!" Luca curled in on himself, claws raking his belly, long rutted cuts chasing his fingertips. The pain burned, deeper now with the thin streams of blood billowing up above his line of vision in watery red ribbons. He averted his wavering gaze, but the blood was everywhere, seeping into his very scales. Everything simmered, a constant feeling of dread and want that was unreachable, had no low point but only one shattering crescendo all throughout his body. Constantly. Searching for relief Luca dug his claws into the pink scales deeper, stronger...

"Luca!"

"...Alberto?"

It was just a dream--or a memory. The clean tile walls of Alberto's bathroom came into focus, half-blurred from where he was lying, curled in a ball along the water in the bathtub. Alberto rose sleepily from the floor, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. At some point in the night bath towels were placed in the water for Luca, and though he didn't remember when it had happened, sifting through the weird reoccurrences of the day before, Luca knew Alberto had done it. He looked around in the stagnant bath water, to his abdomen, and the flakes of dry blood that floated across the shiny film of the surface like autumn leaves. He shivered.

The memories were short, hardly a scratch on Luca's conscious mind. Alberto had carried him all this way, from the boat into the house. A tiny serving dish once had peaches on it, but only smelled faintly of them now. Giulia's voice (what he could recall of it, trying to think back made his head hurt, everything hurt, really. He hardly remembered much of Giulia, except for her wild eyes and equally brazen red hair) was tender behind the door the night before, whispering and giggling to Alberto. She left to sleep, and Alberto stayed. He really, truly stayed. And the pain. The pain, the stupid sea-folk problems he couldn't just wait out or buddy up for--

"Are you okay?" Alberto put one cautious hand on the lip of the bathtub, eyeing him. Luca shook his head, as if to chase away the feeling, then realizing it actually translated as a no, Alberto I am anything but okay right now, he nodded his head with more urgency. He shifted in the water, the bath towels huddled around his body made a sort of nest, Luca noticed, even if he had been the one to do this. A nest, making a home for a mate, for love...even out of instinct. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did he even--

"If you say so," Alberto yawned and fell back onto the pillow he'd brought from his room, and tugged the blanket closer around his chest.

"You..." Luca tried, scanning the faded paint on the bathroom walls, the chipped mirror, the little smudge in ink over the medicine cabinet. He avoided looking at the crumpled blue tarp cast over by the toilet. "You stayed here? With me?"

"W-Well," Alberto spluttered, laughing a bit, not glancing at him. "I kinda had to. Cause, you know, no one knows you're here. And - and, my Papa had work today. Well he doesn't, not really. It's too early in the day for anyone to be open after yesterday, but he likes to be in the town with his buddies sometimes, when everyone else is asleep."

I kinda had to. Like he was...liable. He was just a...what was the word Giulia used? A little pet.

"Oh. Right, okay," Luca said absently, tracing his claw on the edge of the tub. Monster. Stupid monster. Dumb heat. Animal. Stupid, horrible, disgusting--

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Where's Giulia?" Luca asked finally, maybe a little too quickly.

"Oh! She's uh...probably still sleeping."

"I'm sorry, Alberto."

"Do you maybe want to, um...talk about it?"

Luca put his chin on the edge of the bathtub. "About what?"

"The uh...back at the island--" Alberto wrinkled his nose and stared at his knees.

"Not yet." He felt Alberto's green eyes on his scales, whispering, prodding ever so softly. But he just wasn't ready.

"Hey, it's okay," Alberto leaned down and put his head at eye-level with Luca. "It's a sea monster thing, right?"

Luca nodded, wiping his flushed face. He couldn't cry, sea-folk weren't designed for something like that, but the burning in his eyes sure felt like he was.

"We have things like that, too. For humans, I mean." Luca hated that Alberto used that word, it was...a barrier. Human. Alberto blushed and looked away. "It's pretty embarrassing, actually. But, we go through it too, you don't have to feel so alone...It's normal."

"But..." Luca mumbled, his hands clenched beneath the water. But what I did...It was gross. Why haven't you left yet? Why aren't you turning me in? I'd be worth a lot of money above the water, I'm sure. Alberto? Are you even listening? Take me away! Send me to The Deep--

"Don't be sad."

"I'm not." He muttered.

"We can do something else," Alberto said back, sitting up now to straighten out his blankets. "And if you want to talk about it later, then you can. Since you're...uh...sounding a bit more present now.

"Okay...What is it?"

He watched him rise off the floor and gather the blanket and pillow to his chest, and head for the door. Alberto looked back over his shoulder, smiling now.

"As long as you don't eat it...We can paint?"

#luberto #luca paguro #luca movie #luca fanfic #luca x alberto #alberto scofano #luca2021 #luberto fanfiction #luca fanfiction #gay fish movie #luberto fanfic #luca fandom #luca pixar #luca 2021 #luberto luca #alberluca

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sleepy-exe · 3 years

Text

Shapeshifter AU - 4

Iwaizumi x f!reader

<< Part 3 | Part 5 >>

Summary: Iwaizumi goes stargazing with Y/n at a park in the forest. She tries to find out what he knows. She then stays the night with him for more info, but what’s the plan? Sakusa just wants his friend to be safe.

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: y/n makes bad choices, and is kind of a creep but confronts that, poor Sakusa’s driving skills get shit talked and he ain’t even here, murder mentioned (1) one time, I prob got too detailed with the car reveal, sakusa is best boy, iwa’s a total dad

Genre: sfw (for now, 18+ regardless), shapeshifter au, strangers to potential enemies to friends to lovers

a/n: I probably wrote too much about the car, but I’m a car guy (gal? person?). I hope yall like stars/stargazing. This is like borderline fluff. Also did you like Sakusa’s contact name. Cause I thought it was funnier than it actually is.

Part 4: It Can’t Hurt

Now outside the bar, the two of them headed for her car. There was only street parking when Y/n arrived earlier, so she had to walk down the street for a good 5 minutes or so to get there; all along they chatted about Ikuno. She never really came here except for the dive bar. It was only about a 15 minute drive here from work, so that was a bonus, but otherwise she had no reason to be in Ikuno.

Reaching her black Civic, the doors unlocked. She crawled into the passenger seat herself as Iwaizumi agreed to drive to the park. Being a shifter, she’s not too afraid of being in the car with a stranger. Surely she could defend herself against one guy - she’d be alone with him in the car and at the park. On the other hand, if he thinks there’s something weird up with her, such as being able to turn into a wolf, she wondered why he would even agree to tag along. Wouldn’t he be afraid of her?

Once he was in and shut the door, he was checking out the interior: black with red accents on the dash, doors, and steering wheel. In dash computer, racing style seats and petals. “When you said you drove a Civic, this isn’t what I was expecting.” He found the push start before bothering to ask for the keys.

“She’s cute, huh? ‘17 Type-R. My baby,” she went on, running a hand over the dash affectionately and giving it a little pat.

“’Cute’.. Not sure if that’s the word I’d choose.” He gave her a concerned look, “You really want a stranger driving your.. ‘baby’?”

“What are ya shit at driving?” She teased, “Please. I’m not letting you take off without me.” The memory of Sakusa learning to drive a manual in Type-R when it was new popped in her head. That was a rough day for her poor car. If this guy really knows how to drive a manual, then it can’t be any worse for it than when Sakusa is driving. She chuckled, “A friend I let drive it, I taught him to drive stick in this. He still isn’t great, but he doesn't stall it nearly as much as he used to.” She shrugs and taps on the screen in the dash, setting the GPS for the park.

“You taught your friend to drive in this?” He started the engine, put it in first gear, and pulled out of the parking spot flawlessly.

“To drive a manual,” she corrected, “He could already drive. He just only drives automatics. I tried telling him these are a lot more fun.”

The bar isn’t that far from the highway, so they were on it in no time. Driving down the highway, again he was shifting through gears smoothly. A nice change from the rough shifting she usually experiences while riding passenger. She should really get Sakusa to practice more. Not that he wants to. Deciding to text Sakusa, she pulls out her phone and sends him her GPS location for their little outing. Just to be safe. It’s not even quite 10pm yet, so he shouldn’t care. Though regardless he’d never complain about this sort of text.

More time went by as they traveled down the highway. They sat in silence, other than the engine and various street sounds. It wasn’t too awkward and Iwaizumi has yet to complain like she’s used to. If anything, he might be enjoying the ride.

With a buzz, she checks her texts. Sakusa replied and asked that she check in later so he knows she's safe. As much as she mentally shit talks his driving, she knows he’s an amazing friend and she loves him to death.

Checking his text, she was reminded of Oikawa’s text in the bar essentially asking if she were single. Though he was likely teasing and just trying to text something other than ‘hi’ or his name, but why not have fun with it.

>> To ’Oi-chan‘: “who’s asking?”

“So,” she breaks the silence, “Have you been to this park?”

“What one is it again?” He glanced at the GPS’s listed destination, “No, I haven’t been in that area. At least not that I can’t think of.”

“But you’ve been south of there then?”

He hesitated. “I haven’t been in the forest or surrounding parks. I've just been by them. I have friends that live around there and down the street is a convenience store right by the tree line that I sometimes run to if I’m over there.. But other than that, I don’t know the forest or the area for that matter.”

“I see.. It’s really beautiful out there.”

“Maybe I’ll have to go sometime when the sun’s out then. You’re a regular, right? Maybe you can show me around?”

Well. Sort of.

Not a regular at the trails and parks. Or being there during daylight hours. “I wouldn’t say regular.. I haven’t been to this park in ages.”

He had no response. Only looking out the windshield as he exited the highway. The GPS showed only 8 minutes left. The area ahead full of trees.

Y/n directed Iwaizumi where to park as the gates to the parking lot were closed. All nature parks are closed at night after all. There was even a sign stating that and warning visitors not to enter after dark, but where’s the adventure in following those warnings?

“You.. Sure we should be here?” Iwaizumi asked warily, walking alongside her in the grass. They left the car along the road, but no one should be out here this late so it’s fine.

“Like legally or..?”

“Y/n!”

She laughed and led him to an open field. The trees were far enough from this spot to give a clear view of the sky, stars twinkling, crescent moon shining. This really is the best place to stargaze. She wasn't lying about that.

“Hey! Don’t run!” He yelled as she took off for the middle of the field, giggling in response.

“I’m sure you can catch up, Mr. Athletic Trainer!”

“That’s not-“

But she wasn't listening. Instead she was slowing down as she reached the perfect spot, sitting down in the grass. Very soon he was sitting down too, a couple feet from her.

He wasn’t even in arms reach. “Okay, so what now.”

She smiles at him then looks to the sky. It can be hard to see the stars with how bright the city was, but out here was far enough away from any unnatural light source that she could pick out constellations. Well, the ones she knew anyway.

The both of them sat quietly, looking to the stars, hearing nothing but the nocturnal sounds of the woods surrounding them. Generally such spaces were incredibly calming, but with the anticipated conversation her heart was pounding. She still didn’t know anything for sure and her excuse of too many people around to ask questions, like at the bar, didn’t work here. Alone, far from anyone, in her element - what better time to find her answers.

In a low voice, still admiring the stars, she spoke, “So.. You’ve seen me ‘round before, huh?”

She peeks at him from the corner of her eye. No response, he’s only staring forward. So she continues, “Like at that bar? ..I’m not in Ikuno much, and deeper in the city can be so crowded, I doubt you would have noticed me anywhere there.” She tried not to jump straight to the point. Frightened prey always ran after all.

In a similar tone, he answers, “Maybe the bar.. Maybe we crossed paths elsewhere..”

Still looking up, though not at anything in particular, she hummed. “I think I’ve seen you before too.” She could feel his eyes on her now, but chose to not make eye contact and instead point up to a small constellation she found. She named what she thought it was aloud, pointing it out to Iwaizumi.

“Where?” He squinted at the sky, no idea which stars she was pointing to.

With a snicker she inched closer to him. Tracing a finger in the air, “Look. Right there. A few kinda go in a line and some off the side.”

He keeps staring at the sky, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Pretty sure you’re just crazy.”

The look she threw his way was comical, “No! I’m not!”

“Uh huh.. Definitely crazy.. You didn’t bring me out here to kill me, did you?” He looked back to her, serious as ever, “..‘Cause Oikawa will be so upset if I don't show up for lunch tomorrow. Seriously. He’ll whine so much, and he has your number now. He’ll absolutely call you and whine, thinking I’m ignoring him. You don't want that, right?”

She stared blankly at him. For a second there she really did think he was serious. “..Yeah. That sounds really annoying. I’d hate to have to deal with a sobbing Oikawa.” She attempted a playful tone that may or may not have failed. She followed up with a chuckle for good measure, “Guess I can’t commit murder then. That’d look bad on my record anyway. Plus, someone as pretty as me in prison? No thanks.”

He laughed and leaned back on his hands, gaze back at the sky. Tension down, she scooted closer. “There really is a constellation there, I swear.”

“Yeah. I see it.” He glanced towards her for a split second, “I was just fucking with you.”

Her jaw dropped. “Rude!”

She returned her attention to the sky, searching for any other constellation she might recognize. He even pointed one out to her, though he couldn’t remember what it was called. Unfortunately, she couldn’t either, but it was definitely a constellation. Had to be.

“..The convenient store you said your friend’s by. I think I’ve seen you there before. Maybe you recognized me from there?” Silence, but she noticed he was looking at her again. Slowly she turned her head to meet his gaze. Keeping calm, she gave him a light smile. He didn’t look all that uneasy, like she felt in her gut. She spoke with warmth, desperate to keep the conversation from getting uncomfortable, “Iwaizumi?”

The corners of his lips ticked up and mischief shined in his eyes. “What are you a stalker or something?” He laughed as she scoffed. “Fine. I've probably been there enough times. Maybe I did see you there before.”

Leaning her head back, she looked at the sky once more, but this time she wasn't searching the stars.

He doesn't seem like he’ll be a problem..

She was sitting much closer now than when they first arrived at the park. Carefully, she leaned her head on his shoulder, inhaling orange and sage and something else. She glances up to him before quickly averting her eyes to the stars one more time.

Soon both of them were walking out of the field. “I can take you home,” she offered.

Iwaizumi was trailing close to her side, heading back to the car that was left forgotten along the small paved road. Luckily, no authorities showed up. “I might take you up on that. It won't be out of the way will it?”

“If you’re in Ikuno, then that’s not too awfully far off from my drive home.” She gave him a teasing look, “Unless you would rather go to my place.. Though Ikuno is closer. Maybe I’ll just stay with you.”

He rolled his eyes and complained, “Are you really inviting yourself to my apartment?” Nudging her arm with his, and teased, “Think I wouldn’t invite you myself?”

She cocked a brow, “Oh?” Car now in sight, she heads for the driver’s door, making the car unlock. “I’ll drive.” Opening the door she added, “Just put your address in the GPS for me.”

Mini mission complete.

>> To ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’: “didn’t die. didn’t go home tho”

Following Iwaizumi into his apartment, Y/n kicked off her shoes by the door and hung up her coat. He had done the same and was headed for the kitchen to the right. “Hungry? Want anything?”

“Nah, thanks though.” She helped herself to the armchair in the corner across the room. His home felt warm and cozy, the sofa now to her right looked just as comfortable as the chair she’s in, coffee table mostly neat with books and a stack of papers. A soft area rug covered the center of the living room, covering a large portion of the wooden floors, the walls were a soft tan and to her surprise not completely bare. An entertainment center sat against the wall opposite of the sofa, a bookcase next to that. And there’s the large window to her left on the wall behind her. It gave that homey vibe. Looking lived in, but not a mess.

>> From ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’: “Do you plan on going home or are you going on one of your late night runs?”

>> From ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’:“Should I stay up waiting on a I’m home text?”

Iwaizumi walked in from the kitchen with two glasses of water and placed one on the coffee table in front of her.

>> To ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’: “neither and no”

>> To ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’: “go to sleep sakusa”

>> To ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’: “and thank you”

>> From ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’: “I want to ask but also don't want to know so goodnight Y/n. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Without spilling his water, Iwaizumi fell back on the sofa, watching as she typed away on her phone. “Letting someone know where you are?”

“Maybe,” she mumbles, setting her phone in her lap, she reached for the water.

“I mean, that’s a good habit to have if you are.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Sure you don't want anything to eat?”

She laughed, “Do you normally parent the people you bring home from bars?”

“I’d hardly say I brought you home when you invited yourself over and then complained about being tired halfway here,” he complained.

“Well, I appreciate that ya offered to take over and aren’t forcing me to drive home tired.” She smiled then looked around again. “Do you have a dog or anything? Anyone live with ya? ..Ah! If you don't mind me asking.”

He shook his head, “No. No pets and it's just me here.”

Finishing her water, she carefully set the glass back on the coffee table. “I’m not hungry, but don't let that stop you from eating if you are.. If you don't mind, I may clean up while ya eat.”

“Of course,” he leaned forward to set his half empty glass down and retrieved hers before standing. “I’ll show you where everything is.”

She followed him down a short hallway as he led her to a bathroom. He pointed out anything she might need and got her a towel, as well as offering her clothes to sleep in to be more comfortable. She sniffed different soaps and such while he stepped out for a moment. Returning quickly with what appeared to be a t-shirt and sweatpants. She thanked him as he left the bathroom once more.

“Oh hey,” he stopped in the doorway and pointed in the opposite direction of the living space, “My room is that way. I’m just going to sleep out here.”

“Oh no no no,” she held a hand up, “You sleep in your bed. I’m fine with taking the sofa. I’m already using your place for tonight, it's no bother.”

“I can’t let-“ With the look she shot him, she cut him off. He lifted his hands, “Okay.. I’ll be in the kitchen for now.”

And with that he was gone, door closing behind him. Flipping the lock, she turned back to the shower. Turning it on, she messed with the temperature until it was just right before stripping and getting in.

After a probably longer than necessary shower, she felt clean and now smelled of sage, orange, and black pepper. Sweeping her damp hair back and out of her face, she got into the clothes he left for her. Which admittedly didn't fit the best, but they’d work. She stared at her dirty clothes for a moment before deciding to just leave them in a neat pile in there and picked up her phone.

Stepping into the hall, she didn't hear anything. Walking around the kitchen and living room, she determined he must be in bed already. Setting her phone aside, she situated the newly found blankets and pillows on the sofa and turned off the lights after opening the curtains to let some light into the room so she could find her way around the unfamiliar space. Crawling into the blankets, she played on her phone quietly, too awake and unsure about the decision she made to stay here. She was supposed to find out what she needed and go home. And yet somehow she was in the home of the very person who kept her up all those nights ago, wondering if he had seen her and what was going to happen if he did.

But nothing has happened. And the last sighting was over a week ago.

And he’s been nice to her even though she’s been a total creep.

What’s the plan?

Part 5 >>

#shapeshifter!haikyuu #shapeshifter au #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi x y/n #iwaizumi fanfic #wolf shifter #iwaizumi x reader #shapeshifter #iwaizumi scenarios #strangers to friends #strangers to lovers

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scaredandbored · 4 years

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frailty, thy name is leonard mccoy

(title is a rip-off of shakespeare’s line “frailty, thy name is woman” from hamlet)

warnings : THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THE WARNINGS

1- look bones gets kidnapped by aliens who are totally against their planet’s agreement with the federation and he gets beaten up pretty bad. im not sure how to warn specifics for this, but there’s physical violence and blood and stuff so if you don’t like that, this isn’t for you

2- this is my first time writing with a vague plot in mind so please feel free to tear into it with the ol’ constructive criticism

3- there IS a lengthy discussion of a “global viral pandemic” but it ain’t covid and it ain’t earth so s’long as words like “outbreak” “viral” “pandemic” “global pandemic” “isolation” etc don’t bother you it should be ok

4- bones is in it so there is cursing. also spock kinda gets Overly Protective so if yall dont like that give this one a skip (not that im always shit at writing spock anyway)

5- oop character death didn’t expect that but the plot goes where the plot wants to go

no editing we die like men

it IS a spones fic who do you think i am

words : 3,523

When the Anti-Federation Rebels did not return by the time Leonard’s throat had begun to itch with thirst, he started to realise that he wasn’t critically injured Had any properly trained Starfleet officer been put in his situation, they probably wouldn’t even bother showing up to medbay at this stage. But he wasn’t properly trained. Just a bumbling country doctor the fleet had stupidly thought would thrive while being held responsible for the lives of the entire crew of their flagship. He wasn’t built for this kind of thing, he wasn’t trained. Physically and emotionally weaker than the rest of the crew, and completely ignorant of the politics and mind games involved in space travel; he was in pain. All he had wanted was to try and stop the spread of the virus, and look where that had gotten him.

He’d strong-armed Kirk into taking this mission. Pulled in a few favours. He’d not been keeping a particularly close eye on the negotiations happening between the official representatives of Caughlaigh and the United Federation of Planets, but when he’d heard about the viral outbreak on the main content of the planet, Leonard McCoy knew they weren’t equipped to handle the situation. The night he first heard about the outbreak, he’d asked Kirk what he’d known about Caughlaigh, to which the captain had responded : “To be perfectly honest, not much, Bones.”, before neatly taking Spock’s rook with a knight. Spock had raised an eyebrow at Leonard’s sudden breaking of the comfortable silence in the room. The eyebrow crept a millimetre higher at the captain’s unprecedented move. Leonard decided to drop the conversation and forget about it. He knew he didn’t know everything about the situation. He knew Starfleet would’ve looked at the medical capabilities of the people of Caughlaigh and reacted accordingly. He knew Spock was underestimating the importance of that particular move made by Jim. He’d thought maybe he was underestimating the Caughlaigh officials. Jim had won that particular match.

Two days later, a recommended news story on his personal PADD told him the situation on Caughlaigh had escalated from an outbreak to a pandemic. There were cases in every settlement on the main continent, and the spread of the virus to the other two smaller continents was inevitable. He’d hung behind after watching Spock destroy Jim at chess three times in a row to tell the captain what he’d learned. Jim had smiled softly in the way he always did when Leonard was being unnecessarily worrisome. “I’m sure the powers that be are making sure no-one is in any real danger.” A friendly clap on the shoulder that the rest of the crew would’ve taken in their stride shook McCoy slightly. “Now, I recommend you get yourself a good night’s rest, Bones.” Leonard had grumbled something about not knowing Jim had gotten a medical license.

Another two days later, another recommended news story. The first deaths from the virus had happened in the epicentre of the pandemic, the largest settlement on the main continent had lost their main healer and her most trained assistant. McCoy set up his PADD so that any articles regarding the Caughlaigh Pandemic would be automatically downloaded, available to read even if they entered some electromagnetic storms or some other astro-phenomenon he didn’t fully understand.

A week later, three inhabitants of one of the smaller continents passed away. Leonard had gone to Jim with the intention of seeking comfort from the closest thing he had to a friend on this godforsaken tin can. He’d come back six hours later with a promise from his captain and Starfleet that the Enterprise was going to assist with the Caughlaigh situation.

A day later, Leonard hand picked multiple ensigns and a few nurses to take with him to the surface to work on the frontlines. Commander Spock had formally contested the logic in sending down the ship’s chief medical officer to work in a hospital instead of working on a cure back at the ship. Leonard’s friend Spock had requested he be unwavering in his sanitation and self-preservation on the surface.

He’d only been on the surface for a week when he’d been knocked out while he was scrubbing up for a surgery. The anti-federation rebels had noticed his uniform and taken him for a great deal of questioning. They used a method that was rather... forceful.

They had left him alone, finally. Maybe they had realised he wasn’t going to cooperate. Most likely they were taking a break to make sure they didn’t render him useless before they could exploit him for information. Lucky for him.

Leonard McCoy didn’t enjoy bright lights at the best of times; as a boy growing up in Georgia he’d always been mocked by his peers for his adverse reaction to the harsh sunlight, whether it was violently scrunching up his face or wearing sunglasses every time he stepped outside the door. He’d eventually stopped wearing the sunglasses, migraines be damned. A kid can only take so much ridicule. Now, decades later, he found himself irrationally wishing he’d taken his sunglasses with him. He had to focus on how much the harsh, almost surgical lights were paining him. Had to, unless he wanted to focus on the rest of his aching body.

He could heard the sound of his captors making their way back into the room he’d been strapped up in, and began to pull helplessly at his bonds, which did nothing but give him friction burns around his wrists and ankles. He tried to speak but instead of his voice, a pained hiss of air rushed out from somewhere low in his throat as a clawed foot connected with his stomach.

Clinically, Leonard registered the puncturing of the skin over his stomach, but failed to extrapolate any further medical analysis as pain seared from the wounds. A fist connected with his nose. There was a crack, then more pain. He could feel blood rushing down his lower face, could feel it looking between his lips, could taste it when his mouth opened in a gasp for air as something constricted his breathing.

Thrashing his head, Leonard desperately tried to get a glimpse of who was in the room with him, tried to figure out where they were coming from, where they’d hit him next, but the lights were blinding him, his eyes were burning, he was pretty sure his nose was broken, he was bleeding, he... he was alone.

An open palm struck his face while another clawed foot pressed painfully at the base of his spine. It was probably his imagination, but Leonard thought he could hear his old bones creak and groan under the pressure.

His lips grew tacky with the blood that continued to gush from his nose, and his head spun. He couldn’t stop himself from jerking his arms instinctively to press against the throbbing wounds to his stomach, which caused the restraints on his wrists to dig into his skin.

A cold, almost-leather strap was clamped around his neck, and it was tight, much too tight. He tried to tell them, desperate mewlings that went ignored as his nose kept bleeding and his stomach kept churning and he couldn’t think and then there was a strong, cold, seven fingered hand gripping his jaw, forcing his chin up.

A growl, from someone Leonard couldn’t see, corresponded with a significant tightening of the grip on his jaw. His head was full of feathers, he was sure of it. A soft, swan-like down that was probably stained brick red from the steady stream pouring out of his nose, out of his gut-

He felt his jaw shatter and his head hit the ground.

***

“Bones, please respond.” The captain had been comming his CMO for upwards of an hour now, ever since he failed to give his morning report. He hadn’t been particularly worried about Bones’s failure to report precisely on time; he’d always had an awful internal clock. The only reason he was starting to worry now was that his away team hadn’t seen Dr.McCoy since lunchtime yesterday.

Now, if it had been an away team of senior officers, he’d believe Bones would’ve felt no need to check in with the crew, but he’d taken down a bunch of ensigns to try and give them some experience on the field, and Bones was the biggest mother hen Jim had ever met. “Spock, life signs?”

Spock hadn’t looked up from his console all morning, which was a worry in itself. “The doctor removed his comm badge before retiring last night, earlier than normal, captain. He has not reattached it since.”

“You’re telling me we can’t find him?” Jim was trying to keep his professionalism, but when his friend was unaccounted for on a politically volatile planet, he thought he could be forgiven a little terseness.

Spock took longer to reply than usual, his hands fiddling with what Jim knew to be more sensitive equipment than their general sensors. “There is no terran life-forms outside of the planet-side transporter location within our sensor range, captain.”

“And what exactly is our sensor range, Mr.Spock?” Angling for less confrontational, Jim found himself using a tone of voice he knew Spock had difficulty discerning whether it was angry or not. To make up for this, Jim perched himself on the edge of Spock’s console, placing his hand on the back of the chair and leaning in closer so he could look at the readings himself.

“We can scan the entire surface of the planet with the assistance of the numerous towers planet-side. However, we can only penetrate approximately six feet below the surface due to the composition of the planet’s soil. It contains isotopes which-”

“Thank you Mr.Spock, I understand.” Normally, Jim would indulge Spock in his analysis, but time could very well have been a resource they were lacking. “Six feet, you say?”

“Affirmative, captain.” Spock was looking directly at him, his normal micro-expressions invisible to Jim.

“Well, at least we know he’s not dead.”

“Captain?”

“I’ll explain later, Mr.Spock. Mr.Scott?” The crackle of the infamously bad reception from the engine room rang over the bridge’s intercom.

“Aye, captain?”

“Any chance we could get those sickbay kids back onboard?”

“Aye sir. I had someone repair those transporters this mornin’.”

“Excellent. Bridge out.” Kirk took a steadying breath. Just one. He couldn’t let the panic he could feel settling low in his chest affect his ability to command the ship. Especially when the livelihood of the ship’s CMO depended on that ability. “Transporter room?”

“Sir?”

“Have we got a lock on the away team?”

“All bar one, captain. Do you have the coordinates of Dr.McCoy?”

“Not right now, no. Beam up the rest, and have them report to my ready room.”

“Aye, sir.”

Jim closed his eyes for a moment, vaguely aware of Spock standing up from his station. “Alright, Mr.Spock. Let’s find out what we can from these officers before we go jumping to any conclusions.”

***

Leonard woke as his head was thrown against what felt like a stone wall, blood bubbling in the back of his throat. He could only hope the blood was from his nose and not his lungs, although both his face and chest were aching equally.

A hand pinned him to the wall by the back of his neck, grinding his face against the gritty surface. Tiny pebbles scraped at the skin of his face, and he could feel his head spin as concern about an infection flitted in and out of the overwhelming bouts of different kinds of pain. A burning pain on his face from the fiction between his cheek and the gravely wall, a sharp pain in his nose (broken, if the amount of blood pooling above his upper lip was anything to go by), another sharp pain somewhere on the back of his head (sticky substance on back of neck: sweat or blood?), various, almost insignificant pains along and around his torso, an overall stiffness, and, oh Jesus.

A shriek ripped its way out of his severely dehydrated throat as a scaled fist collided with his side, tugging at the skin which they had haphazardly sewn back together while he’d been knocked out. The area around the wound was warm, and the second the fist made contact with his side he could feel something oozing out of it. Not good, his brain helpfully supplied. The scream that had perforated the room left him whimpering in pain, his jaw a horrific cocktail of sharp, stabbing pains and dull aches, a bitter metallic taste stinging at his taste buds.

A voice, speaking a language he didn’t know, was coming from somewhere in the room, too far away to be his assailant. Then, right beside his ear, from a tongue not designed to verbalise Standard : “They come.”

Leonard could feel a sharp talon being pressed against the junction between the hinge of his jaw and his ear, not piercing the skin, not yet. It took him a while to try and figure out what they meant, then he gave a sharp, barking laugh followed by a coughing fit, splattering the wall he was pressed against. Jesus Christ. “You’re on some goddamn dumb shit if y’all think they ain’t halfway across y’all’s galaxy by this point.”

The faraway, foreign vocalisations. The talon jabbed forcefully into his skin, making him groan, feeling a warm trickle of blood slither down his neck to pool with whatever was dripping down the back of his neck.

He’d been crying since before he’d woken up, at least he thought so. “They ain’t comin’ you goddamn idiots, get your paws the fuck offa me.” His voice was thin and non-threatening, even to his own ears. The talon dragged itself down, towards his carotid artery. Leonard’s shriek was trapped in his throat as he squirmed, pressing himself further into the wall in a pathetic attempt to escape the motion. He could hear the owner of the slowly advancing talon release a hiss, before jerking it back up to his ear, deepening the wound.

He could hear his own sobs bouncing off of the walls, echoing around his head. They weren’t coming. They couldn’t come, they’d get caught too, they had to leave him. The shudder that ran through his body tugged at the rancid stitches in his stomach, the shifting of his clothes hitting him with his own stench: dried blood, fresh blood, sweat, urine, and vomit.

Must’ve thrown up while unconscious.

Why didn’t I choke on it, damnit?

His stomach heaved, his stitched popped, and he felt himself crumple, but was unconscious before he felt to the ground with a dull crack.

***

“Captain it’s been three days-”

“I won’t give up the search-”

“I would not suggest we cease our search, captain. I was suggesting you allow me to proceed ahead at my own pace, as I believe I will be more efficient in locating the doctor than the security team.”

“I need you here, Spock.”

“You do not.”

Jim had never seen Spock like this before, never born witness to his unwavering loyalty secondhand. He was used to being found by a Spock who had already begun to lose his version of a frantic disposition. He did not know what to do with a Spock who looked like he was going to go ahead with his own plan regardless of orders received. “Spock-”

“You have many competent officers aboard who would be willing to assist you in interviewing the locals.”

Jim tilted his head, giving his first officer a warning look which he had a feeling went ignored. “Are you suggesting my search team is incompetent, Mr.Spock?”

His eyebrows jumped as Spock clearly opened his mouth to give his agreement. Spock quickly checked himself and closed his mouth, took a deep breath, then leveled Jim with a look he knew all too well. Spock had picked it up from him. “I am merely noting your CMO has been missing for three days, presumed in mortal danger.” It was a vulcanised version of the look Jim got before disobeying a direct order from a superior.

“I need you back alive. Both of you.”

Spock blinked once in what Jim hoped was a promise before he was gone.

***

The team of redshirts trailed behind Spock as he followed the sound of a gentle scraping his human teammates had not been able to hear. The sound grew louder as they wound their way through a cave system that was almost too dark for him to see in. Spock’s already brisk pace grew even faster as a pained groan joined the scraping noise, an eerily human expression of pain.

The team following him broke out into a full sprint the second they heard a yell coming from directly ahead. Spock froze at the familiarity of that yell. He’d heard it more times than he cared to, and his stomach lurched at what it implied. Snapping into action, he easily outstripped the rest of the team, who yelled for him to stop.

Spock did not stop.

He burst into a wide open cavern flooded with bright light, felt his second eyelid slide shut, and in the split second it took for his eyes to adjust, there were three pairs of eyes fixed on him. Two threatening, reptilian humanoids watched him carefully, as Spock stood, frozen. McCoy was looking at him, but his eyes were glazed over, his face gaunt and bloody, his bare feet slipping in a puddle of his own shockingly red blood as he was held up by his neck by one of the two friendly locals. Spock felt cold, and he could feel his heart drop to his pelvic girdle as he was unable to see the rise and fall of the doctor’s chest. He couldn’t move. The captors were stood in shock, uncertain what to do with their intruder.

“S....Sp....” McCoy blinked slowly and tried to speak. The sound of his voice struggling up through a restricted throat, past a mangled jaw, desperately trying to form the sounds of his name brought a fury Spock had never known.

He felt a growl rumble in his chest, and when the lizard holding McCoy by the neck gave the doctor a shake, Spock launched himself. He was vaugly aware of a scuffle ensuing behind him, but his focus was totally on pulverising this creature who had dared to try and take Leonard from him.

Wrapping an arm around Leonard’s chest elicited a pained mewl from his tiny doctor, which sent another surge of red through Spock, as he shoved the creature away from them instead of trying to pull Leonard away, but the creature dug its talons in instead of letting go. Spock could feel Leonard jerk forward, pulled by the nails embedded in his neck. A strangled noise left Spock as he leaned forward and sank his teeth into the hand, which released Leonard in surprise. Immediately, Spock slipped McCoy behind him, his concern slowly growing to outtake his anger as Leonard’s pained noises grew more and more frequent. Backing into a corner, Spock’s eyes did not leave the advancing opponent.

There was a flash of light, the lizard fell, and Spock immediately turned to Leonard, his hands flying to the psi-points on the doctors face without hesitation, totally unaware of the frail hands shakily trying to pry him away. Spock joined to McCoy without hesitating, ascertaining the extent of the damage.

That wasn’t a very good idea, darlin’.

Spock had not wanted his first meld with Leonard to be like this, not filled with more pain than he knew the doctor could withstand, not feeling the ghosts of what he knew, logically, were recent, fatal wounds, and older, debilitating lacerations and fractures.

You may not leave.

Since when have I ever done what y’told me to, Spock?

His thoughts were... surprisingly direct for a human untrained in vulcan ways, but the way they were growing gradually quieter was enough to send Spock into a panic which he tried desperately to tamp down.

On Vulcan, one’s spouse always obeys their husband.

Who’s t’say y’ain’t the one who’s ‘posed to do th’ obeyin’?

Spock felt a flash of pain as Leonard tried to smile, then the connection went dead.

Leonard had slammed up a mental barrier, and Spock did not have time to wonder where he had learned to do that, not as he was desperately pressing at Leonard’s psi-points while fixedly staring at the increasingly unsteady rise and fall of the his chest. Spock’s gazed fixed in horror at the stark white slip of collarbone protruding from the skin with every inhale.

By the time the familiar fizz of the transporter surrounded them, Spock was no longer fighting against the mental barrier, but was still unable to make contact with the spirited doctor.

***

Jim had known Spock’s expression had meant he was going to disobey an order. He’d hoped by giving the order Spock had wanted, to bring his two best friends home, to avoid that. He should’ve known better.

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princessselene126 · 4 years

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Hey yall, emotional abuse, physical pain (not self harm, just illness pain), brief mention of periods, and shitty parents tws coming up.

So i generally try to keep my personal life off here unless I won’t be posting for a while and want to let you know why (like i did with my ear infection.), but I’m having a really bad week and a half and desperately need to vent. Feel free to completely ignore this because I don’t expect anyone to respond, I just need to get everything off my chest--although any suggestions as to what the fuck I should do are more than welcome.

My dad and stepmom have been controlling any emotionally abusive for pretty much my entire life--because you know, abuse doesn’t just start randomly and it’s not something that you can easily fix.

Anyway. When I went home for my ear infection, my stepmom got kinda mad about it. Mad might be the wrong word, controlling is probably better. I didnt tell her or my dad that I was coming home to see the doctor for a few reasons:

I knew if I told them, they’d tell me i should tough it out and go to class

They’d say that i was being over dramatic and that it couldn’t possible hurt that bad

They’d ask why I couldn’t have seen a doctor in Milwaukee (where my college is and 1.5 hours from home), why I needed to come home for something like that.

So I didn’t tell them. While I was home my stepmom texted me asking how I was doing. At the time she didn’t know I had an ear infection or that I was home, so of course like the idiot I am, I was honest and told her I came home sunday night. Seriously I think honesty is my fatal flaw. She, of course, asked why and I told her that “I cant think right now, let alone take a bus somewhere I’ve never been before. I tried to get into the dr at school, but they dont have any openings until wednesday.” I was able to get into my doctor at home on monday, two full days before I would have been able too at school, so it seems logical that id go home right? I couldnt hear out of my right ear anyway, so it’s not like I would have been able to pay attention in class and actually learn anything.

She drops it or that day.

But my stepmom, being my stepmom, of course texts me back a few days later (fthursday or friday i think) because she thinks that I should have tried harder to find a doctor here. She said, and I fucking quote this entire goddamn text

Hey so I just want to clarify with you ... you could have gone to a dr there you know? You guys didn’t have to come all the way home and back. good lord. Just find a clinic thats an urgent care or er. you might have had to pay more out of pocket, but so what? And you have 2 insuraces, so that wouldve helped more too. Just saying. So I thought I’d let you know instead of doing all that craziness back and forth. Make it easier on yourself next time kiddo.

And this has me fucking livid because:

I literally explained to her why I didn’t find someone in Milwaukee days before.

She’s insinuating that it’s too inconvenient for my mom to come get me.

And my stepdad had off on tuesday, so he gladly took me back too school. No questions asked. No complaints. He even bought my antibiotics for me (which I was totally prepared to pay the $10 for myself) before we left.

She’s talking down to me as if I had no idea that I could do this.

I can’t afford to pay more out of pocket right now, even if I might (read: MIGHT) get reimbursed for it later.

Going home literally WAS making it easier on myself.

So I send a screenshot of this text to my mom of course, and she replies almost immediately just going off. My mom and I havent always had the best relationship (she has some emotionally abusive habits too, but she knows about most of them, acknowledges them, and tries her best to fix them), but I know that she will always be there for me. She’s that person who will drive an hour and a half just to come make sure someone is okay, and she has done so 2-3 times in my 2 years at college. She doesn’t care if I’m 45 and living on the other side of the country, she will drive or by a plane ticket to hep me if/when need it. So my mom is beyond pissed off that my stepmom would ever imply that coming to get me, take care of me, is an inconvenience.

I reply a simple “i know” to my stepmom, because I know better than to give her a long winded explanation. She’ll just come back at me with an even longer block of text basically telling me how wrong/stupid i was to not just see a dr in the area.

And of course, of fucking course, she replies with a long block of text anyway basically telling me the same fucking thing. She does this several times and I keep doing the “i know” “yeah” “okay” thing because I just didn’t have the fucking ENERGY you guys.

But then she says

my goodness you’re a peach sometimes. Just trying to help and maybe you guys didn’t think of that.

So by this point in time my patience was completely GONE. I have absolutely none left. I know when my stepmom calls me a peach it’s just her “nice” way of saying “you’re being a fucking bitch.” ((Keep in mind this entire time I was taking screenshots and sending them to my mom so she could be mad with me.)) And so I fucking went off in the nicest way possible. I tell her

no, you’re trying to be in control of the situation that had absolutely nothing to do with you

I was going to just try going to a dr the next morning, but then my mom called and I was crying and she asked if I wanted to come home, so I said yes. It wasn’t an inconvenience to her, though it feels like you’re trying to make it seem that way. And [stepdad] had off so he was easily able to take me back.

I’m not an idiot, im an adult fully capable of doing things myself. But i also recognized that I needed help and accepted it when my mom noticed I did as well

Because yes. I was in so much pain that I was actually crying from it. I usually have a decent pain tolerance (horrific period cramps will do that to a person), but for some reason whenever I say that I’m genuinely in pain my stepmom never seems to think it could be “that bad.” And... that’s exactly how that went. I was soooo prepared to just tough it out and wait until Wednesday if I absolutely had to. But then my mom called and I may be 20 years old but there are those times when you’re an adult and you just need your parent. You need your parent to tell you it’s going to be okay. You need your parent to hold and comfort you. You need your parent to take you to the dr. And for me this was one of those times. I so very rarely ask for help but this time i needed it, and there’s no reason for my stepmom (or anyone) to make me feel like I should be ashamed of that.

So she said something brief to that and I didn’t reply back. Ne next moring she sends me another text starting off with something along the lines of “I’m hurt by how you treated me last night...” and I didn’t read the rest because I knew it would make me mad. I did, however send a screenshot to my mom again.

The next day I call both my mom and my paternal grandma to talk about this entire conversation.

My mom thinks that I should cut off ties with them for at least a few months because this has been overwhelming me so much. I agree with her, but I’m concerned about my younger siblings (not that they’ll get hurt or anything, but that I won’t be able to see them) and also my aunt is getting married in may.

And my grandma was livid too. She’s never liked my stepmom because she’s always thought that she’s treated me like shit. (For a long time i mistakenly believed that my stepmom was a better person than my mom, but I was an impressionable child/teenager then). My grandma and I talked about times when stepmom made me feel bad about myself or treated me as lesser than my half siblings. And my grandma agrees that I should keep my distance, but she asked me to not cut ties, and to keep a decent amount of peace, until after my aunt’s wedding.

Which I understand. I get it. I love my aunt a lot and I truly dont want to cause any problems at her wedding, she deserves the world. But at the same time I don’t know how much longer I can take this you guys. I’m supposed to go to a water park for a night with my dad, stepmom, and siblings during my spring break (it was a christmas present from my dad to the family) and I’m absolutely dreading it. I don’t want to go. My mom says I should just lie and say I have to work, but again, fatal flaw here is honesty, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that. I want to see my siblings too, but I really need to start taking care of myself.

I’ve spent far too long worrying about my family even after not living at home for the last two years. I need to take care of myself. I do. But I honestly don’t know how to do that without causing a family feud in the process.

And the reason this was all triggered again today (after not having talked to anyone on my dad’s side since saturday) is because I got a call from a random number while I was in class today. It was a call from my home city and whoever it was left a voicemail. In the back of my mind I started worrying that it was my dad and that he wanted to talk me into not being upset with my stepmom (he’s a terrible person too but that’s a rant for a different day).

I have yet to listen to it because the idea of talking about this with him makes me nauseous. At the same time, not knowing who called is making me overwhelmingly anxious. I don’t know what would be best:

Ignoring the voicemail, or listening to it and potentially having to talk to my dad?

Toughing out being around my family until after the wedding, or risk causing a family feud by cutting ties?

I just... I’m so lost you guys.

#personal #tasha talks #i could go into so much more detail about how fucking broken i am because of all of the things ive dealt with in my family #but this is the bare minimum needed to understand just what the fuck is going on right now #im not feeling ok #mr stark i dont feel so good #even trying to joke like that is falling flat right now #im in panic mode and i don't know how to stop #this has been keeping me up at night #seriously #i cannot sleep #i feel sick #and so drained #all i want to do is sleep #delete later #probably

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marvelgbt-posts · 5 years

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It’s Not A UK Thing|| Part II of ‘You Can Stay Under My Umbrella’

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4 (not yet posted)

{Tom Holland x Stylist! Male Reader}

Warnings: none- except for bad writing

Summary: Helping Tom with his lines, his costume, and other small side stuff...

A/N: “Peter Parker here to pick up a passport, please.” isn’t thAT hard to say… also forgot ‘mate’ is an everyday word in the UK, oops

*not edited*

“Peter Parker pere top a pasp ahh- god dAMMIT!” Tom sighed, running a hand though his already disheveled locks. You were sitting by your desk, sewing a tear in one of your sweaters while Tom was on your bed, rehearsing some lines for Far From Home.

“Peter Parker here to pick up a passport, please,” you reminded him. Tom threw his head back in frustration, “I knowww. How do you say it so easily?”

“Maybe it’s because I don’t have an accent like you? I dunno, but it really isn’t that hard. Just focus on the words. Trust the process. Be patient. Take it slow, say it slowly for me.”

Tom sighed, taking a deep breath, “Okay, ‘Peter Parker here to pick up a passport, please’.”

“Good, now faster. And keep going until you get it right. I’m going out for a bit for some food, want anything specific? Or I’ll just get some Cup-Noodles if that’s fine.”

“Yeah, noodles are fine.”

“Cool,” you picked up your keys, leaving your room and out the door, into the cold air.

Tom took this moment, turning it into an opportunity. He got up from your bed, fixing the shirt that had somehow managed to slip up. He moved to your desk, looking at the freshly resewn sweater you had finished just moments before. He took a moment to appreciate the soft and even patterns of how you stitched it together. “Hm,” he looked around, his hand lingering on the fabric a bit before moving with his body. He went to a bookshelf of yours, scanning his eyes through the multiple framed photos. One of you as a kid- maybe 6 or 7- another of your little sister when she was 2, sucking her thumb with wide and curious eyes. There was a family photo, you, your parents, your sister, and your family pet that you had kept with you once you left the house.

Tom picked up a photo of you with another girl. He hadn’t recognized her before, so he assumed she was an ex. Or maybe a current girlfriend? He hoped not. Why?

He placed the photo back, his thumb brushing over your happily still face, eyes shielded by the sunlight in a pair of dark sunglasses. Recently, you were more sleepy and groggy. It was hard for you to fall asleep due to stress, and would resort to finishing up projects due next month as a way to get your body tense enough to relax. Tom felt bad, he knew his job wasn’t as hard as those who worked behind the scenes- yet didn’t get enough recognition. You being included. Yet, you were so much more than just a stylist. You fixed his suits. You fixed his regular, everyday clothes. You helped with his lines. You offered to feed him and made sure he was well rested. You were basically his mom in the States. At this point, people would have assumed you two were already living together. Zendaya was no exception.

***

“Hey, Tom. This Thanksgiving, wanna go to your place, since you and (M/n) live together now?”

“What? We don’t live together!”

“But- wait, what? No- you’re always over there, though. I’m so sorry, I just assumed-”

***

Tom never mentioned it to you, though. He thought you might think it was weird, and would want him to start coming over less.

He flopped back onto bed, reaching over to take the forgotten script into his hand, flipping through the pages and going through the movie. He sighed, missing you already. He let his mind wander to the past few days, then the past few months. Then to the day he kissed your cheek. He wanted to tell you so badly that, that kiss was more than a ‘UK thing’ and he wanted to be more than coworkers.

But how would the public react? He knew he had made it clear he looked for more personality in a person, but he never officially came out to the public as- for the use of the umbrella term- gay.

“Uhnn, I hate thisss,” Tom hissed into his papers, which had now rested softly against his face as his hands were above his head, resting by the opposite side of the bed. Whether he was talking about the script, younger twister line, the kiss, or all- Tom didn’t even know anymore.

***

“Holland, I’m home,” you called out to the boy in your room. You locked the door as both Tessa and your pet shih tzu, Harper, greeted you at your feet. You placed the groceries in the kitchen before acknowledging both of them with a pat on their heads. You went to undo the cheap wrapping of the noodles, putting them in hot water to loosen it up. “Holland?” You called out to the actor, worry bubbling in the pit of your stomach. “Tom? Thomas?” You continued to call out carefully, expecting the worse. You slowly began to walk towards your room, hoping Tom was in there

There was a small hum coming from inside your room, making you look inside. “Oh my god, Tom...” you sighed, seeing Tom curled on his side into your pillow, head buried into it. His script had folded and crinkled, laid discarded on the floor due to Tom’s inability to keep it in his hand in his sleep.

You decided to wake him up, “Tom, Tom, Thomas… THOMAS STANLEY HOLLAND!!”

Tom jerked upward, looking around, “Mom! I’m sorry, I didn’t he-ah… wait… this isnt my room. (M/n)!” Tom whined, falling back onto the bed, rubbing his eyes. “Sorry dude, but you need to get up now. Noodles are waiting for us down stairs, I’m so freaking ready to stab my chopsticks into them and totally not show off my amazing skills,” you joked, winking. It wasn’t meant to be flirtatious- just a quick wink, the kind you’d send on your way out of a room or after saying something funny. But Tom was a blushing mess. You hadn’t taken notice, he hoped.

“But it’s so late! And I’m so tired!” Tom whined, eyes fluttering back to sleep. You sighed. Irritated, but feeling playful, you made your way to the bed and grabbed Tom by his waist, lifting his arms to move around your shoulders as you hoisted him up by his butt.

Man, only god could own an ass like his.

Tom’s face flushed, “(M-M/n)! Put me down!”

“Nope, you wouldn’t get up. So now face your punishment like a good boy.” Wait, no thats kinky-

Tom hid his face in your neck, sighing due to tiredness. You could’ve sworn he was breathing in your cologne, “To be honest, I’m too tired to fight back, mate.”

“Hm,” you cooed, rubbing his back a bit before making your way to the kitchen. By now, your noodles had loosened up enough to eat. You placed Tom on the couch, letting him sink into the cushions. You picked up your chopsticks, beginning to eat as some random kids cartoon played. You glanced at Tom, he hadn’t touched his food, but his attention was focused on the show. “Tom, do you not want the noodles? Do you want something else?”

Tom looked at you, eyes widening, “Oh! I forgot about those!”

“Here-” you placed your now empty cup of noodles down onto the coffee table in front of you. It had been over 24 hours since you last ate a ‘full meal’. “Say ahh...” you took Tom’s noodles in your hand, proceeding to feed him. Tom blushed, opening his mouth a little. “Tom, im’ma ‘bout’a drop this everywhere. Open your mouth- there we go,” you say. You were a little tired, making your words sound jumbled and merged together. “God, your mouth seems so small. You suck dick like that, Holland?” You smile playfully, yet tiredly.

Tom’s eyes widen, “What the fuck?!”

You burst into a fit of laughter, “HAHA- sorry, just. I don’t know. Thomas-”

Ohh, this is where shit gets real. When you call him by his full first name.

“- the day you kissed my cheek. Was it really just a UK thing?”

Tom tensed, this could be the day you would find out. The day you could be something more. But what if it went all wrong?

“Tom?” You say, brushing some of the strands of hair that got into his eyes.

That was it, that was the reassurance he needed. “No, mate. It’s Not A UK Thing.”

“Sooo, what? You like me?”

“Well, actually- its more like love,” Tom awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, refusing to make eye contact with you. You chucked, putting down the styrofoam cup, now only containing liquid and some bits of vegetables, and moved your now free arm to wrap itself behind Tom’s neck. He was already pretty small by himself, but with you next to him- your large body now practically hovering over his- he felt like an ant.

Your lips had connected to his, causing a small spark of what felt like electricity to run down Tom’s spine (and yours).

“Glad to know that, Holland. Glad to know.”

so, i might make a part 3, focusing more on the girl in the photo with you that Tom picked up, would yall be interested? it might contain angst, cuz i kinda wanna write angst--

#tom holland x male reader #x male reader #male reader #tom holland #gay imagine #marvel imagine #marvel cast imagine #mlm imagine #tom holland imagine #mlm #marvelgbt imagine #marvelgbt #oneshot #gay oneshot

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faunusrights · 5 years

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OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 9

oh goody!

well this is it. the Date Chapter. the chapter, in which, the Date happens. lowkey im so fucking hype for this stupid goddamn chapter AAAAAAAAAAAA this is when the sexy got kicked up about seven notches and i know its gonna be a fucking twenty from here on out so LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

“Is this your date, Ms. Fall?” he asked.

Cinder didn’t look away from Glynda. “Mhm.”

STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GODDAMN GATE WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A SECOND TO EVEN GATHER OURSELVES JUST STRAIGHT UP HUH!!!!!!!!! ‘is this your date’ im legally dead

What the fuck.

already im fucking THRIVING im so glad this chapter’s mood got encapsulated within the first ten seconds and im definitely gonna have to re-read this chapter for the full unannotated experience OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD IM SO READY

Glynda’s thoughts ricocheted inside her head like coins left in a dryer. A part of her couldn’t understand what was happening and disengaged. The rest of her, grasping for purchase in all this, reasoned that going with Cinder was better than staying here confused, alone, and utterly displaced.

glynda ‘i aint ever had a gf before’ goodwitch at her PEAK right here. like GOD shes gone from ‘cinder’s trying to murder me’ to ‘cinder just plopped me right into a date’ like CINDER. CINDER YR CHANGING GEARS SO FAST. YOU DIDNT EVEN SEND FLOWERS OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is it because shes a u-haul lesbian or

Higher, Glynda realized the dress itself was backless, revealing the black tattoo she’d seen so often before, perfectly centered between sharp shoulder blades.

this gay energy is BONKERS, quite frankly??????? where did cinder get her dress from? why does she have it? did she buy it just for this fuckery? or will she pull the ‘i just had a this lil number laying around’ line????????? does she wanna seduce glynda to death?????? was this PLANNED OR DID SHE JUST DECIDE SHE WANTED A DATE AND WTH LIFE REALLY IS SHORT ON REMNANT THESE DAYS?????????? cinder fall please explain your workings to the class

maybe Glynda wasn’t the only one who’d become adept at reading her opponent.

👏 when 👏 will 👏 they 👏 kiss 👏 already 👏👏👏👏

me: this is a slowburn also me: if u assholes dont give me this in the next ten seconds-

“Unarmed? As if you could be so helpless.”

cinder’s style of flirting is just. commentating on a person’s deadliness. that’s IT it’s the only TRICK SHE HAS and its working, is the thing,

im reading the description of the table and remembering the shitpost and oh my god i have to draw this???? hell IS real!!!!!! COULDNT YALL JUST TOSS EM IN A PLAIN BOX,

Cinder eyed her from her bastion of dark cushions,

cinder, ass-deep in cushions: this is peak cuddle territory come and join me

Cinder, for her part, seemed delighted Glynda had noticed. Touching the pendant more gently than Glynda might have ever thought her capable of, Cinder said, “Yours? You didn’t seem to mind parting with it.”

im still deeply enjoying this powermove the novelty NEVER wears off (and at risk of light spoilers i do enjoy its place in this story 👀)

Cinder let the necklace drop, settling against the swell of her bust once more,

/lightly coughs 👀👀👀

im losing my MIND at how gay this bit is i physically cannot HANDLE IT and if they even describe the meal once im gonna pop off cause i am. SO HUNGRY RN. AAAAAAAAAAAA

Cinder indicated a dish of lamb and vegetables, served on a bed of rice and drizzled in some sort of sauce.

SRY THIS ISNT GAY BUT OH MY GOD IM SO HUNGRY I WANNA E A T I T THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD UGHGHGHGHGHGH WHY DID THIS CHAPTER HAVE TO BE TODAY OF ALL THE DAYS,

Glynda cleared her throat, working out: “The Grimm.”

like. GOD WE KNOW GLYNDA IS JUST SO FUNCTIONALLY BAD AT CONVERSATION BUT OF ALL THE THINGS glynda please just. just. stop thinking abt her sexy tattoos for a fifth of a second,

“You can control them.” A sedate blink. For all the world, Glynda might have just commented on the weather.

which is a faux pas for a date!!!!!!!!!!! at least tell her the DRESS IS SEXY WE ALL KNO WHATS WHAT YR THINKIN ABT

Glancing down as though it were being pointed out to her for the first time, Cinder shrugged and adjusted the end of the glove a little higher on her bicep. “And?”

a quick aside im enjoying how like... visually expressive cinder is in this remaster! i can see her facial expressions and her motions really clearly in my mind’s eye which is a fun little boon if only because i have to redraw this nonsense hjsgdfjhfksgd but cinder’s got a Good Face this time around! A QUALITY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should know by now, there’s something about you that’s simply irresistible to Grimm.”

HERE COMES THE PLOT (and a single surviving line so far... this one sentence has survived all the world could throw at it... we stan)

Cinder straightened, and Glynda saw that this was what she’d been waiting for.

“It isn’t every day the great Glynda Goodwitch kneels before her adversary, is it?”

HELLO??????????????????????????? WHATS THIS WORDING????????? honestly tho for a second i thought she meant like. quite literally and i thought id missed some PROPER SHIT RIGHT THERE BUT YEAH WTH!!!!!!! C I N D E R

“You cheated. You can’t beat me on your own.”

yes glynda we gathered that yr a top

“Really, Glynda? Poison?” she sneered, something like offense simmering in her expression. “After all this?”

looks at the camera

anyway,

god im literally losing grasp of words to say because theres such a charged mood in this scene............. theyre brushing fingers............ trading jabs.......... im slurpin it up babey!!!!!!!! this rly is the BEST remaster of this whole scene it DESERVES this wordcount!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Beat you,” Cinder corrected. “And call it a point of pride.”

yes cinder we gathered yr a brat,

this dynamic is why this fic is so fuckign good when will winter have a swift return to add even more fuckery to this wild ride

Then, with a heavy-lidded look, Cinder found Glynda’s hand between them, the touch so sudden and daring that Glynda flinched. The fabric of those gloves was smooth against Glynda’s flesh, and for all that cruelty had marked every other instance of contact between them, Cinder was surprisingly gentle.

whomp there go my nuts

WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO MADE THE EXECUTIVE CHOICE TO ADD THIS LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO???????????? im losing my BRAINCELLS

What she wasn’t ready for was for Cinder to guide her hand to her own throat and hold it there.

THERE IS IT THERE’S THE KINK IT’S BEEN SPOTTED

oh my GOD what even IS THIS WHO ADDED THIS SECTION WHO ALLOWED THIS TO COME TO P A S S WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO????????? HEWWO??????????

Now… Now Cinder interested her.

tbh how can i liveblog this? what commentary can i POSSIBLY add that we arent already all THINKING. we just launched into a level of hell so deep that lucifers gonna have to pull some goddamn tricks to follow us down here!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS SCENE! THIS MOMENT! IM SCREAMING

Glynda mirrored the expression back at him, and finally, he coughed, not making strong eye contact with either of them. He set their plate before them and hurried out without so much as a check-in.

i just KNEW that was gonna happen JHGDSFGJHKSDF he was gonna walk in on SMTHNG but i didnt think itd be CINDER’S CHOKING KINK,

okay i took a break and ate my weight in roast chicken and we’re back babey

Almost nervously, her fingers carded through her own dark hair, and there, among the locks, Glynda spotted a glimpse of something white, structured and ridged.

AND I AM INSTANTLY KNOCKED BACK UPON MY ASS 👈W👈H😨A👈T👈

It was easier to ignore the rest of it—whatever it was.

glynda you are a fool and a moron im withering into DUST

On no level had she expected those to be Glynda’s words.

then what... did she expect... well probably -- and rightly so -- ‘bitch WHAT ARE THOSE’ TBH

wait sorry i have to jump back because i forgot customary fingerguns on the most brazen bit of Shit yet:

Cinder was occupying herself with something else: the head of a dragon, perched over the door and staring down at the two of them with red, glossy eyes.

👈👈👈😎👈👈👈

okay BACK TO THE FIC

Fangs snapped together around the word.

aka back to me horni

/chanting TEETH! TEETH! TE

okay but the reason i doubled back to catch that fingergun is because we’re getting ass-deep into plot now!!!!!!!!!!! WITCHES AND DRAGONS BABEY......... HERE’S WHAT OFFAL HUNT IS ALL ABT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant rly drop more fingerguns than that because any astute reader will start realising the dots im shouting abt and honestly half the fun of this fic is the ride so >:3c

“Funny. I was sure he would have told you.”

that blow was so low i think cinder hit the concrete with that one

oh god theyre gonna get to the bit and i-

“Is that what all of this has been about? You called me here to remind me that I'm autistic?”

/SCREAMS

The words were delivered firmly, calmly, but Cinder’s response was the opposite, sudden upheaval seizing her. Her expression opened in something akin to panic. “Wh—no? What? No! That's not what I—”

/SCREAMS

oh my GOD CINDER YOU HAVE FUCKED UP LEGENDARILY!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD SHE WAS FELL ASS-FIRST ONTO A LANDMINE OH MY GOD

offal hunt v1 cinder: im totally in control and im playing glynda every step of the way

offal hunt v2 cinder: OH JESUS OH FUCK OH NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT-

Cinder seemed genuinely stressed now, speaking quicker as though trying to bury the last sixty seconds.

i knew this remaster would have sections that would blow me away but this bit really took the fcuking cake DGHSJFSJHFDG holy SHIT this is AMAZING

It was difficult to tell in the low light, but if Glynda wasn't mistaken, there was a bright flush of embarrassment coloring Cinder’s cheeks.

this is SUCH prime content hey remember in one of the early liveblogs that cinder would descend into full dork? WELL THE DESCENT CAME EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /pops bottles

“Cinder.” There was a very real line of threat in Glynda’s tone. “Don’t.”

oh this whole scene just keeps getting better i am LOVING this dynamic now!!!!!!! before it was all pretty one-sided so having the conversation rock back and forth is 👌👌👌

That Witch soul of yours—it was designed to void out everything but the prey before you. To be numb to all human emotion. To focus on the hunt and nothing else.

finally the fruit of 50% of my fingerguns COMES TO LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! PLOT PLOT PLOT

“This is bullshit.” Jabbing an accusing finger at Cinder, Glynda said, “You’re a liar. You’re a criminal!”

i LOVE glyndas pottymouth in this its such a good like... change from her being strict and formal and teachery and now shes full on gremlin huntress hell YES BABY!!!!!!!!!! GO OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“There’s all kinds of things I bet he never told you.” Cinder continued. “Did you know he was close to your predecessor? The Witch who came before you—they were inseparable.”

SRY IM LIKE STRUGGLIN TO COMMENTATE because so much of this like. speaking as an Old-Ass Reader this is like. a LOT! A LOT HAS CHANGED and yet,,,, stayed the same,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yall kids WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL CHAPTER LIKE................ 15 FOR THIS SHIT (but like. chapter 15 was different because this chapter used to be like chapter 7? so now everythings moved along so chapter 15 doesnt sound that impressive but trust me it was a different fic back then)

When they fell away, burnt and ruined, she could see Cinder’s bare arms for the first time. The red lines drawn across her skin sloped down the entire length of her arms, circling her elbows, carved into her wrists. They ended right at her hands, ensuring any long-sleeved garment would hide them. Every covered inch of her was filled like a canvas, like abstract art.

lets pause the fight scene for glynda to be gay!!!!! god im. okay look i said this earlier but im so glad we have more cinder like this tbh. the first version was rly lacking w/ cinder content until late-game when the plot sorta. got itself going? but now we’re eye-deep in this content i LOVE cinder i love this WEIRDO who is a HUGE LOSER and IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Glynda could not dispel the fear that she had been telling the truth.

and after committing Some Amount In Damages, we’re at the end of the chapter!

okay so i really enjoyed this version SO MUCH MORE. everything abt it was polished and worked together so much better and it really needed the space to breathe in its own chapter. its been horny, gay, intense, hilarious, and way more in one chapter and its SO good this really is PEAK offal hunt!!!!!!!!!!!! good job diesel and kc but im still going to murder you both,

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog

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sol1056 · 6 years

Text

I think all yall choreograph the asks or something. I seem to get the same topic in batches. This time, two non-anon and one anon (not counting DMs even), so I’m just going to wrap it all up together since there was a lot of overlap.

behind the cut: where I get ideas, beta readers, writing ahead, writing fast, editing fast, dealing with OCs, writing emotional scenes, and how I learned to write. questions about publishing and agents will be in the followup.

where do you get your ideas

the ‘what if’ questions. the source might vary -- a story if it’s fanfic, or history if it’s profic. by what-if, I mean a throwaway comment, implication, plot hole, gap, or missed chance. what if the characters end canon with this other dynamic, what if the protagonist goes left instead of right at a crucial moment, what if Lý Chiêu Hoàng hadn’t been deposed as queen regnant, what if Nobunaga had survived the attack at Honnō-ji, what if Nyi Roro Kidul had founded her own people, etc.

from there, I stage that moment in my head like a fractal, seeking out the most interesting ways everything could go wrong. what I'm looking for is an image, a bit of dialogue, capturing that moment of sacrifice, betrayal, a twist in some way. this either ends up as the precipitating event, the midpoint, or the finale (basically one of the three pivotal emotional points). then I work backwards from there. for ffic, I need to figure out how characters get from canon to that point; for profic, I figure out what kind of characters would end up there.

do you have a beta reader

uhm. not really? I’ve asked for help a few times, when I’m not sure of a particular characterization, but other than the first chapter of Bonds (for reasons I’ll explain in the followup), I don’t usually bother. after all, it’d be horribly rude to send off a chapter and then expect anyone to respond inside of a week. let alone a few days. I envy people who have the patience to wait on a beta reader ‘cause I feel like their stories are tighter as a result, but since there are small amazonian frogs with more patience than me, I figure what I write must stand or fall on its own.

however, I do tend to bestow snippets liberally on whomever’s talking to me online while I write, and I pay attention to their reactions. in fanfic, I’ll also sometimes run a scenario past a few people to see if their gut instinct on a characterization matches mine. that might be a kind of narrow-focus beta reading, maybe.

do you write some/all before you post

nope. I totally post-as-I-go (and yes that does mean at some point I was writing about 6K nightly, I’m not proud). if you said I had to write the entire thing, edit carefully, review, even let it sit for awhile before posting, I’d probably hurt something. or I’d just explode from the enforced waiting.

for profic first draft (or fanfic final draft, same thing), I plan 2-3 chapters in advance. then I write until the word count hits 6K or so, call it a chapter, post, and start on the next chapter. I do that until I run out of plan. then I assess again, figure out the next few chapters’ plan, and repeat until the story feels done.

how do you write so fast

because a) I type fast, and b) you’re reading what’s effectively the first draft. writing that first go-round is always quick. I just sit down and spit out words. it’s polishing it into profic-levels, that editing phase, that can take weeks, even months. I’ve written pivotal scenes from scratch five, six, seven times if that’s what it takes. you’re just benefiting from my laziness with fanfic, basically.

how do you edit so fast

actually, I don’t. I tend to do it in fits and starts. even fanfic, if you compared first version posted with the current version, you’ll find changes here and there. mostly smoothing choppy parts, disambiguating, or just clarifying a muddy description. sometimes readers report a phrase felt wrong, or didn’t make sense, and I’ll tweak the offending line.

there are tricks to make it easier, though.

for profic, I write in scrivener, with a font of Open Sans, Lato, or Avenir, depending on my mood. a first pass of editing for the glaring issues, then I shift to full-screen display and change the font to Baskerville Old Face, Perpetua, or Oregon LDO. the radical font-change means sentences don’t end visually where they did before, and the serif element means I have to slow down slightly to read, a lot more will leap out at me. with fanfic, I write in google docs and post in AO3, but otherwise the font-changing process is similar.

how do you keep OCs from taking over

an OC is just a character who was -- or might’ve been -- in canon but had no lines. they’re third person from the left, in that crowd scene in episode 17. they occupy the same world, and they have a story of their own -- it’s just not this story. they have a goal, but the core question is: does their goal support or conflict with the protagonist? there’s the tension those OCs can provide.

on a more basic level, just don’t give them POV, and remember they exist to push the protagonist forward, or hold the protagonist back. if the reverse happens -- the protagonist pushes the OC forward, or holds the OC back -- then you’ve made the OC a major character and now the story’s warping to suit their goals. the focus must remain on the protagonist; it’s their story, after all.

how do you write a character’s emotion so the reader feels it

use restraint. a scene’s strongest emotion lies in the gaps between what the characters are telling and what they’re showing. restraint is how you create those gaps.

avoid the impulse to ever say the character feels anger, feels joy. instead, have the character do something or say something that expresses the emotion.

also, either we acknowledge an emotion, or we don’t. the first has no conflict, kiss of death for tension. the second, though, that’s basically a fight scene: the conflict is between the character and their own emotions. the key is choosing between word and deed to show the character’s purpose (narration or dialogue vs action). whatever’s left becomes the other half of the conflict.

use scent, taste, sensation, sight, sound to project the emotion, distance it from the character. like, they can breathe fine but the air is stuffy. their hand isn’t shaking; the paper just won’t hold still. leave it to the reader to draw a line between the narrative’s tone and the character’s mental/emotional state.

second, keep the sentences relatively short. think of the jump cuts in a filmed fight scene (or sex scene) -- you don’t need to see every move. that gets boring, fast. show only enough for the reader to connect the dots; what they put in the gaps will always be far more powerful for them than anything you'll achieve when spelling it all out.

here’s the real challenge, and one of the hardest kinds of scenes to write (but so satisfying when you nail it) -- a character who acknowledges one emotion while denying the truth beneath. this is the character who’s furious but refuses to admit the hurt powering that anger. or the character who’s happy on the surface but jealous or broken-hearted beneath.

my advice: overwrite the scene, take it to eleven... and then go back and cut one line in every four of dialogue, then do the same in the narrative. keep only the strongest lines. do another pass. keep going until the scene is down to a quarter the original length, and see what you’ve got.

how do you write so well

err, okay, setting aside the discomfort of being asked that -- ‘cause I see flaws all over the place, starting with just plain overwriting, srsly, is that word count really necessary -- whatever skill I do have, I learned in one simple way.

by critiquing other writers, and getting critiques in turn.

not beta-readers -- my experience with beta readers is that they don’t really tackle the story, though they may comment on characterization. mostly I’ve only ever gotten line edits (spelling, grammar, punctuation) and... that’s not really a critique, that’s a copy editor’s work. it’s valuable, but not what I mean.

a critique analyzes the work. they mark illogical or unrealistic dialogue, note missed opportunities for rising tension, point out potential plot holes or discrepancies. a good critique is sensitive to spikes and lulls in the pacing, and at a line-level it’s often attuned to repetition or ambiguity in word choice, muddy metaphors, even the ‘sound’ of the prose.

for every critique you do, you’re training your inner editor. I don’t catch everything (certainly never on the first pass), but having a stronger inner editor means being able to reflexively identify weaknesses. plus, exposure to other stories teaches you ways to fix those mistakes. to the point I sometimes edit as I write ‘cause I can already see what needs fixing.

lastly

if you want to write better, read better. critique everything.

this is not criticism, this is critique. this is why I post meta about whatever I’m reading/watching. by approaching a story through that analytical lens, I can peel apart what works (for me) and what fails (for me) and study my reaction. the goal is to duplicate what works and avoid what doesn’t.

you can’t learn to build a car engine just by looking at the outside of a car, after all. you gotta get in there, get the dirt and grease up to your elbows. take it down to the bolts, understand how it got put together. the same goes for writing. never be afraid to take apart anyone’s stories to see how they work.

and then, go write.

#writing #fanfic #editing #characterization #storytelling #vld #voltron

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survivor-iceland · 4 years

Text

Ep. 2 - “I will not be a little tea pot this time” - Ellie

dylan r

OKAY! New game! I’m excited to start! I’m just kinda trying my best to socialize, I’m horrible at talking to other people, my plan early is usually to just win tribals and form small connections with people

Although I flopped SO HARD during that challenge it’s unbelievable I literally tried that for hours & I couldn’t do it like literally

Not much else, I’m just kinda vibing.

Jack

So Ellie totally spilled that she's gonna send stuff to our tribe so i'm telling my tribe that. I think raffy is gonna do the same. Also im thinking everyone on one so that we mess with them.

Jack

My audio is going crazy and cutting out and im like AM I BEING SPOKEN TO????!?!?

Jack

I'm chatting with maynor and stephen and thats going good. but also Raffy is cool but imma try to put some false ideas about the cookie game on him

Raffy

There was one hinky vote for me which tells me that people think I am push-y and a leader on this tribe which is not ok. I mean I want to win challenges, but I don't want to be seen as aggressive. However, I guess I cannot help it. I need to get into an alliance soon. Otherwise, I'll find myself not within a majority. I guess my social game isn't strong enough so I need to rely on my strategic game.

Keith John

Well, its been about three days since the game began, It's going okay for me. We won Immunity so game talk has been on the low. The time difference really screwed me over, I wasn't part of the latest immunity challenge discussion. Even though I wouldn't have contributed much in that convo, Having no input or talk during such moments puts me on the back foot (socially). The saving grace is that I was able to connect to four others through one on one convos. That has helped me built a sort of majority alliance, But as a thumb rule of survivor, unless we don't through a vote together. U cant trust anyone. Hopefully, it sticks and I am able to get through the first few votes. I don't know why but I keep getting a feeling that maybe John and Cormac are telling me what I wanna hear and make me feel comfortable. I hope that isn't true and the alliance is genuine. Cause I feel I really get along with them and can really work with them for a long time. I think both of them are awesome. The only other person I trust is Zoe, we just connected quick. Sierra though in my alliance I haven't yet had a strong one on one conversation with her. let's see what's in store in the coming days

Jack

Were planning to fuck with the other tribe by sending a spy to seed some accidental plan spillage. John’s a smart cookie. MaynorJay. I am slightly sad you split me and Timmy up. The cast reveal and seeing Timmy in that tribe i was like :0. But you did make it one world so i could still talk game with him 😊. Plus i missed being hosted by you. ❤️

John

this plan i concocted could either be really good or really bad. all we gotta do is throw the other side off their scent. but can we do it and make it believable? i guess we will find out tonight.

Ellie

Cookies is chaotic: more detail coming later

Jack

I took a risk for the idol hunt that might cost me my vote at the next tribal. I'm both regretting this decision and thinking it'll probably maybe be worth it...?

John

ok my plan dissolved like an alka seltzer. that’s fun. we love that. i just hope we win at this point. if we lose, that’s going to make things quite interesting.

Ellie

K so lack of communication has officially reached another level, this would be easier if people spoke???? Even Joseph did and he had finals!!!!! Some people have time to try to get on my good side and strategize but not to fucking talk about the challenge???? Some of yall👀👀

Sierra

Sitting out of this challenge was agonizing! I couldn’t be a part of any of the strategy talk for the challenge itself... so I had little to no clue what to expect as I watched. I really don’t want to go to Tribal Council, either. I’m hoping that we can pull out a win and I won’t have to stir the pot and potentially show my cards alliance-wise this early in the game.

Dylan C

I haven't been talking to people enough today and should probably do some of that. Well, I certainly will if we go to tribal but I'm hoping we don't

Jack

Cromac and I chatted for a bit and agreed on a sort of alliance, so that's a thing. Other than that I have fingers crossed for us winning this challenge!

Sierra

So we lost immunity, and I’m PISSED. We fully expected Keith to get 60 cookies from our tribe alone, but he only ended up with 55. That means that somebody on our tribe did not play into the tribe’s strategy. Now my butt could be on the line and I didn’t even have a chance to play in the immunity challenge! I feel relatively safe with my alliance, but anything could happen between now and tribal. Here’s hoping my five stick together!

Timmy

We won!! There was strategy used on the tribe but also people just tried to take control of what everyone else was doing. Like if they try to do that for the challenge they’ll try to do that for votes and that’s not how I’m trying to roll. It kind of sucks that the people I want to work with are on the other tribe. I want to message jack bc they seem chill based on the call last night after tribal. Also there is no way I’ll get an idol bc these slide puzzles are ridiculous.

Sierra

Right now it looks like the votes will be heading towards Stephen. I really like him and think he could be a good ally... but the numbers are against him right now, and that makes it difficult to save him. I don’t want to sink my game attempting to save his... so it looks like Stephen will be the first one voted off of our tribe. I’ll really miss having another literature lover on the tribe, and I’ll miss having some intercontinental diversity, but I’d rather save my own neck right now.

Maynor

So I am now in an alliance with Cormac, Zoe, Sierra, and John. And it is called Maynor’s lovers for some reason. But it now got changed to Maynor’s Angels. 👀 jay came to my host chat and was like ___ is shook. And i died as well. So far the target seems like it might be Stephen that was brought up by John. But we still have until tomorrow so who knows. As long as im safe that is all that matters.

John

hi. i’m john, i’m 20 years old, and i’m absolutely worried stephen has an idol. he just...doesn’t connect. and it puts me on edge. so i want the vote to be somewhat split. we need to put the majority of them on stephen, but have one or two of us worms put down someone else’s name just in case stephen pulls out an idol. no matter what, us 4 (me, cormac, sierra, and zoe) need to get through this vote so we have the majority.

Jack

WOW. Okay so Cormac and I a pretty tight rn. Plan is to vote either Maynor or Stephen. Cormac is closer with Zoe, who i haven'y heard from much. Sierra and I have had some banter with Sierra and opened up private channels with them. Imma check that they're good with Stephen or Maynor, and which they'd prefer.

Jack

Sierra seems to want to keep Maynor around more than Stephen while I'm feeling the other way. I'm down with either so hopefully things work out.

Dylan C

https://cnet2.cbsistatic.com/img/tcQaSg5LL_0-HBuWFPxpguK71TM=/1092x0/2019/06/06/b11ccfac-685e-4cb2-a239-b09af07b1baf/toriflynn2.jpg

Jack

IDOLS EXSIST. And hopefully Stephen and maynor dont have any

Jack

I MADE A DUMB CRAZY PLAN. Like I said to the others it basically, we make a chat with Stephen, tell him heyyyyy lets vote Maynor, then go and actually vote Stephen. I feel a little bit evil but also i totally get the reason blindsides are so popular. I FEEL LIKE A SPY!

Dylan C

I love you, Jay

Jack

The trap has been set, hopefully Stephen falls for the it and nothing goes to shit. And also that Cormac's not pulling a con on me. I doubt he is but pArAnOiA.

Jack

STEPHEN RESPONDED AND HE SEEMS DOWN WITH VOTING MAYNOR AND BELIEVES CORMAC AND ME AND I CHATTED WITH JOHN AND HES DOWN WITH VOTING STEPHEN BUT O MY GOD IM SO NERVOUS. sorry bout the caps lock, I feel like it was needed to covey my FEELiNGS

Jack

All the gears are locked in. Everyone's voting Stephen; Stephen seems to be on board with voting Maynor; Maynor will hopefully stick with going for Stephen; and Keith will maybe hopefully I hope go with what me and Cormac are going for.

That started off so confident and turned into "Hm maybe I'm not sure I hope"

John

ok so here’s the tea sisters. our original target was stephen. he’s more reserved, kinda quiet, but he’s going after less active players (ironic, right), and apparently he is targeting keith. so if an idol is played, it might be him. so the worms are talking to jack and trying to get him to come on board for our plan. jack goes into complete paranoia mode between all of us, and we’re concerned he’s a flight risk. so the vote is shifting to jack. being erratic is more dangerous in this game than silence is.

John

lmao if this blindside on jack completely backfires and i go to EOE, i’d actually scream over how much work is going into it. this is so messy and complex for literally day 4 of this game that it perplexes me. it’s either gonna be 4/3/1 or 5/2/1, i’m not sure yet. but strap in folks, we’re experiencing turbulence. the plane may be going down.

Jack

Other than Keith everyone's locked in to vote for Stephen, even Maynor. Me and Stephen chatted and he complimented me saying that i don't seem like a new player cause I'm so comfortable in chat and I'm here like "hahahah yeah so weird not like in acting all calm and collected at you so you don't know I'm voting for you." I do feel a bit bad voting out Stephen now that I've got a better vibe on him, and I've been leaving little hints of "sorry for voting you out" and "hope you come back from the edge" at him, but doing them as me saying "Oh I feel so bad for voting out Maynor" so that I don't blow my cover but yeah. Here's all my guilt dude ^

Joseph Collins

We got an immunity win which was nice. Apparently Malarkey (Melrakki) played with some type of strategy. And Ulfur went coocoo for coco puffs and won. So I’m happy about that. Putting a plan in motion to get some threats out soon. Need a really good numbers advantage first.

Zoe

GOD okay wow this is so much. We lost the immunity challenge, which is funny because I said that I was pretty confident we were going to win. I'm not concerned about being sent home, I'm almost positive Cormac would tell me if he knew, and I have good relationships with people in my tribe. And very good news: Well, after literally teaching myself how to do a slide puzzle, wrestling with the god-host herself over reference images and website dysfunctionality, I finally reached the end of the idol hunt and located a very beautiful advantage, which is to call a blind vote and then see what people vote even though nobody else can. I read it a few times and then facetimed with Cormac to tell him the good news, and we agreed we would keep it until swap or merge and use it to see where peoples' loyalties lie. We discussed all of our options, our relationships with different people, and who we want to keep close until later. I have a good relationship with Timmy and Maynor, and I think Dylan C as well, so that will come in handy when we swap and after the merge. We also solidified an alliance with us and Keith. FUCKING MEANWHILE, over in tribe Machievelli, the "oh, worm?" alliance has gone absolutely nuts strategizing over this vote. Jack has made everyone very paranoid by asking every person in the tribe who they were voting for. He had never messaged me individually before, and then just popped up and said he wanted to make sure I was voting for Stephen, which is who "oh, worm?" was originally going to vote for. I think it was Cormac who brought it up because Jack keeps info-dumping all of his thoughts onto him, but we all agreed to vote for Jack. Cormac and I discussed how to tell each person, one of those resulting in a final three deal with Keith, entitled "Zoe and the boys" as well as a yet to be titled final four alliance with me, Cormac, John, and Keith, yet to be named, that neither John nor Keith know about. Ultimately we said that we'd check back in in the morning and determine if anything had blown up overnight with Jack, since he seems to be very paranoid.

Jack

MWAHAHAAHHA Stephen believes out plan to vote maynoris genuine but it is a TRICK. Hope he doesn't hate me tho, seems like a nice guy. Those read receipts are just real sus being off man. but he tots believes me, Cormac, and Sierra.

Zoe

It's been more of a quiet morning, though we are all tense about what is going to happen at tribal. We don't think there is anything crazy happening with Jack, and ultimately we aren't telling Stephen about the plan in case he ends up telling a person he isn't supposed to. It should turn out to be a 6-1-1 vote, hopefully none of those going to me. I want to play a low key game here: I want to be making the decisions with Cormac, making tight alliances with other players, and then having them go out and do the dirty work. John seems like a good guy and a good player, and I also feel like he thinks he's the leader of our little group. It's definitely in our best interest to stay tight with him, but we have to be wary of him making alliances on the other side as well.

Maynor

I’m so fucken nervous and I swear if im voted out second. Ugh. Jack can go home. Like i did nothing to you and you just decide to come for me for no reason? Like wow. Jacks the target and I hope the people ive been talking to and aligned with are telling me the truth cuz it would totally suck if they are lying to me. There is really no reason to take me out who is active instead of jack who isnt active and just barely coming on. Fuuuuuuck me. Im be paranoid the whole fucken day arent I.

Stephen

So this tribe is kinda dull, so theyve chosen a dull vote. Maynor. I like maynor but he has been a little silent. The big question is: is there a majority alliance out there? The answer is yes, of course there is, there always is. I make my survivor career on not being in majority alliance then tearing them apart when the tea gets spilled. See: Tashirojima.

Jack

Made a bit of a conection with Ellie from the other tribe, and she seems pretty open to working together if we make it to the merge or if theres a tibe swap

Raffy

I am happy that we do not have to go to tribal. It allows me to be more social with people on my tribe without the threat of a vote looming over our heads.

Justin

This round was a lot more chill. Mostly cuz we won immunity, but I'm still keeping my relations with everyone good. I realized this round that Cormac, whom I have been talking to since last round, is on the other tribe lol. Luckily, I didn't tell him any compromising information, and now I have a connection to the other tribe. Plus, Keith from the other tribe reached out to me and we had a really good conversation. I like him a lot and I see myself working with him in a swap or merge. He is from Pakistan so he is also in the eastern hemisphere as well as Stephen. So, I was thinking I could possibly make an Old World alliance because we are closer to each other in times. However, Cormac has told me that his tribe is most likely voting out Stephen so that won't work out. I would say the only alliance I have so far is with Cormac, so I need to make something official with a player in my tribe before other people get them. Specifically, I want to ask Timmy to be in an alliance.

Maynor

Today has been really quiet. I really hope the people telling me im good are telling the truth. I hope my connections are strong enough to let me survive this first round. Im so nervous and ugh i hate this feeling. Id be extremely sad if I go over an inactive.

Raffy

Truly. Honestly. I'm so lazy. I don't want to do the idol hunt lmao

Jack

I can't remember if i already did a confessional about this but in case i didn't: Ellie and i chatted a bit and she seems open to working together later in the game and Cormac seems down with that plan too. Idk if i cant /trust/ Raffy but he also seems cool too

Ellie

So I feel like Raffy is a tiny bit annoyed with me sometimes cause I do share a lot, but I will not be a little tea pot this time. Raffy and I talk strategy all the time and he’s my closest ally but it honestly feels like I barely know him while my other close ally, Dylan, I have bonded with a lot and know a lot about them while still strategizing with them. It’s weird but I’m not going to push. He told me to stop talking about past games, and I’m like ? If I don’t mention you we’ll be chill

Ellie

Also we bonded with jack 👀

Maynor

Tonight, i may be leaving. Ill just be really sad. Mad at first cuz i tried my hardest in first immunity and then someone decides to mess up in the 2nd if by accident or on purpose. Mostly ill be sad cuz i wont be able to play with Timmy. I finally got to retalking with dylan and really miss them. Mostly ill be sad cuz let jay down for giving me a 3rd chance after my performance in rotuma. Ily Jay. Hopefully i stay. ❤️❤️❤️

Dylan C

I have to choose whether or not to do a part of the idol hunt where if I do it, I risk losing my vote at the next tribal I attend, and if I don't do it then I start the idol hunt over. Heck. I'll probably do it tbh.

Maynor messaged me a few minutes ago to say that he thinks he's getting voted out tonight, and that he enjoyed talking to me again. I don't want to see him go, in part bc I wanted to try to ally with him at some point and also just because I like him. Also I don't know what's going on on the other tribe but? Y'all are gonna vote out the guy who held a cup over his head for over two hours for your tribe? Smh

Jack

I really like Dylan C's vibe. Imma PM them later some more and see if that's a thing

Sierra

The vote switched when Jack started getting paranoid — his name wasn’t even coming up until he started asking everyone if they were SURE that they were down with the plan. It felt really awkward to have to reiterate over and over again that we were on his side... and it made it difficult to believe that HE was really with US. I’m really grateful that Stephen gets to stay around for another few days!

Dylan R

Ok so I did all of the puzzles for the idol hunt & then I FLOPPED on the challenge so: I have my clown outfit on.

I’m trying to make friends but it’s hard 🥺 I think if we go to tribal Joseph will go before be but I got some serious catch up to do if I wanna win

John

i know keith was originally our fifth, but i’m kinda wanting to work with maynor the more i talk to him. i want a fifth that will side with me if needed. and idk if keith could be that fifth that would benefit ME. it’s also just a thought. not tied to the idea yet. stay tuned kids.

cormac marek

Alrighty very eventful times leading up to our first tribal. I have been involved in like 13 alliance chats. Me and Zoe had an hour call last night on how she found an advantage to be kept between the two of us. It was amazing! Keith seems on board for anything. He has a "as long as its not me" gameplay. The core worm alliance was going to vote out Stephen but switched it to Jack after he became insane. It was sad because we were going to include Jack in on the deals. Maynor was told that Jack was gunning for him so that's a vote for Chaos Kass. If all goes smooth it will be unanimous. Stephen asked me right before tribal and I told him Jack was gunning for him and that majority was going for him. Hopefully this means he will be with us. It is really tricky. Let's see how the blood rolls

Joseph Collins

Patiently waiting on next immunityyyyyyy.

Timmy

Jack is trying to get maynor out...so jack can go.

0 notes

whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

Text

I heard about the 64% of all lives matter wanting the blue lives matter to do the bottom breath exercise

Compared to the, especially much lower 41% of black lives matter positive response out of only 1/3 of the voters saying yes they would exercise. Thier 41% was for anyone else to, not just blue matters

These numbers are broken down from bigger numbers

I really like this. This anger and revenge and hate from all lives matter people

Remember the conversation was, "please stop killing us, our black lives matter"

"Shut up nigg** we will kill you all, blue lives matter"

Then all us went all lives matter. Some in shock and so on and what have you. Some to settle, some to continue the fight.

So I'm glad to see so many continue the fight.

And that is what I am saying.

I obviously am All Lives Matter. I prove that. But I took my time and watched the conversation and listened to myself and felt the arrogance. And i took sides.

And i said Black Lives Matter. Because of what was said.

But I defend blue lives, criminal lives, illegal alien lives, all lives. Because all lives matter

I'm just black panther to the core.

And that's how they are:

a life is a life

A life paid is a life cost.

They taught me that.

My richest most developed understanding of the world was taught to me by negros

My most in depth acceptance of kindness and love and myself was taught by the Harringtons.

The world gave me the black Panthers

My mom directed me to the Harringtons.

They are what gave the black Panthers depth.

Not words. Not soldiers on the streets.

Humans.

Like I said the other day, same as for with criminals and so the Harringtons allowed me to embrace what I hated myself most for. To give others a chance. Like,Jesse James. Others.

Unfortunately they've pushed me so far I can no longer

Love like what I got from the Harringtons has been pushed so far away

By criminals like Jesse James and i will say Jesse in particular m he also for by Malcolm.

So these movements and protests they help people get together and like Seattle's Mayor says, with love.

Its not about anti-others.

Black Lives Matter or all lives matter.

It's about being around love. Acceptance. Protection. No matter who you are or where you been or where you'll go.

It's like being with the Harringtons.

It creates calmer and happier people.

Sure the white supremacy are out with a vengeance and not y'alls business, but we relabeled our SMS to help our planet with that problem

Fun oddity... I saw a video of this guy randomly picked to check the system. Bec it's fairly new and it's not SMS: brightgady but another because of the limited people and rarity of people allowed to kill with permission.

Its called The Brightside of Hell. Because that's where it sends people. LoL.

And so.

This guy all skinny and in all black in an umbrella was breaking windows and he's been driving me nuts since day one i saw that guy. I wanted to kill him,but at the same time i knew i should not.

So, today they tell me he was checking the routing system of people dressed similar and people with big afro hair was the reason for the umbrella.

And they went into a group in a building. Left their bank and credit cards. Phones. All everything traceable. Some others had the same exact umbrella. All skin tones. Big afros also. Because that was a concern for me... An afro being thought of as something else. Just because i seriously seriously love afros

Only African Americans can wear an afro. True story.

So I really treasure it.

So they all left in a mass. Like in a line and then walked around. Some traded the umbrella off and so on. Changed clothes. They did anything possible to confuse the system. Changed gender type clothing and put on wigs. And did stuff they never ever did before.

So then the guy breaking windows was actually on my own shop front.

And turns out the system is perfect. Its God driven and I hear "hey! And tree!!" From tree himself.

So we have an amazing platform. And i wanted and I would assume the world would want it tested to an Extreme.

The guy that broke the Windows is a little nerd, to himself guy and would never ever do anything like,that and he said He thought he would go home and,cry but he,said instead he felt such a rush and enjoyed it

SMS put out a serious alarm on him and when the kill team went to "interrogate" him of his crimes the actual system screamed at them all rrrrrrl rrrrrl so they knew not to harm him. It has an override to override all sounds blocks so if its turned on vibrate it will do it still.

It said "warning warning. There is something wrong! This is not a normal criminal: proceed with caution, check computer before leaving!"

Obviously he was having a mental break and the internet history would say so. What has he been reading or watching? What kind of help does he need?

And/ OR someone is threatening their life to commit such crimes and the SMS hasnt seen or been notified of anyone.

And they actually had that alert after i attacked Denise and busted her head open.

And it auto downloaded my internet history and the phone numbers contacting me frequently and people from chat apps.

So i was chatting with someone new and so it could been presumed it was due to them telling me to or their influence.

He had been annoying me all fucking day and raging me. -.-

But she tried to throw me out the car in 100° heat. She deserved that shit.

But it also showed i blow up and can't tolerate her and will lose my shit every 4 to 6 months on her.

But it was more violent than usual. But its because of my younger brother. She's all scared of him and treats him wirh respect and shit and he told me how he pulled her hair when she was driving and so that is where it came from. More so than anything. That is exactly what was in my mind. I was all he did it. So can I.

Watch me now. Bitch.

So,fucking tired of her lies!! Fucking throw me out the car. Fuck you.

You think I'm not crippled? Well I'll show you what I can do Because walking ain't one.

Had i been in a happy loving relationship or even in my own house all clean with water and electric then I probably wouldn't done that because I would just been all. Well first take me back to my house. But i would been all I'm bout to get out the car and away from her so i can just ignore her till then.

But it ain't that way, I'm unhappy and im angry and she just wanted to fucking look at me like her stupid eyes were gonna mind control me.

Yeah sure if what you want is a beating.

Tired of people trying to control me.

So movements and protests

Yall stupid white supremacy you think you know shit, all you know is you.

When the rest of us get together in life, in the world, its church. Love and peace and shit.

You stupid ass white niggers don't know love. You know fear. Fear once they finish paying their debt to be shipped that no one will work for you.

Fear of African Americans doing what they want and living their dreams

Well there ain't plantations no more.

So you fucking white supremacy have a problem. And it's me. So you better stay in your fucking houses. You get out ane mix in with any other protests and cause shit and harm ill find you

You have another big ass KKK rally ... Your hoods will be removed.

I ain't gonna say all I'd fucking do to you ignorant white ass fools in need of a REAL NIGGER because i don't want you all doing shit to my people. The ones you don't think belong here.

When Venus joined our human race, we all changed skin color. To Negro. Black. Before we were pink, green. Halo (a shade of white) and blue. Few were purple. Those were mean ones. Like the ones I'm sending out with the Brightside.

So for us all to hide the Venetians because they were as Snoop Dogg shows and as the Egyptian pyramids show, they had dog heads. So we changed to human heads and we all hid in Negro skin.

It was a trick that worked

We told space invaders that had,came to attack us before that we had came and killed everyone and we were a totally different race.

Shit worked man.

So these white supremacy. They're afraid of that black skin.

They really are. And they hate it because they want to take over.

And then compound how the entire North America was fucking empty except for some invading settlers from outer space, they really feel that the Nigger have taken over

Cause they aint been to New Mexico. Because they dumb white trash and they ain't seen how black people aren't all over and didn't take over.

But guess whose fault is that? Plantation owners with the bright idea to get people from all over the world to visit or move to the "new world" and not worry about sea fare, just work for your food and you can explore.

So definitely not the Nigger's fault.

Most African American just came to visit

And some were rich but wanted to work for food doe the week or two to see the feeling

And a lot more paid half or more to do part work and part true vacation.

They never returned

So then they got more people to come search.

And it went on.

Like I said we went to Africa to stop it. Returned Africans and so on.

Shit by the time Harriet Tubman came along there was full blown families here. Ma and pa come to vacation. Brother comes to look for them. Then son then sister then their ma and pa and ya got 5 generations.

And we taught the word Nigger in Africa to be respect.

But we warned "if you hear a white man say nigger he may have your family"

Then they ask the Negro "do you know any niggers? Where they are?"

There was HUGE legendary lessons on how to use the word.

In Africa it meant teacher that was all.

On the long ship rides to America the truth was told about how the word was used. So they used it proper.

No ome trusted outsiders. So if a black boy with a thick accent said "nigger to a black slave asking for help in,secret to find his family, then he would know the boy was a slave and would protect him and hide him for wandering the streets as he was.

We're smart. Every thing was intuition. Few code words.

We knew a Negro slave. How far and much they would protect. How they would risk their own lives.

It would get the search party on the plantation. They could search then leave in secret, have food and rest.

Then off to the next plantation.

The word nigger is sacred. To people like Snoop Dogg and others that say nigga.

They continue to keep the word in use to show love as it was initially used.

As I said before it stemmed from,the word Negro the Spanish word for black.

You need to know the whole black skin culture... They called each other blackie and so on

Like i said we all were Negro once to protect the Earth from invaders. So,we were all happy to be black.

We were invaded and we worked a system to accept other planets 32 other races.

We got lax. We thought we were safe

The walls of Jericho? That is in the Bible. It was am alien sect we were observing to see if we could accept their style and way of life. We could not. We killed them and destroyed their village.

Some like Zulululu had observed us and lied during their observation period. To be perfect like us.

They aren't

Just like people in the white supremacy movement.

Like those in the walls of Jericho they will be killed.

They don't belong under the heading of all lives matter.

They don't fit our world and they are out numbered.

So I will say nigger but as you see I block it out when it's used harmfully against others

Except when I say white bigger because there ain't anything a white supremacist hates more. And there ain't much I hate more than a white supremacist.

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winsomelychic · 5 years

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Staying Private in the Public Eye: A Blogger’s Guide of How to Know What to Post

So, the title might have fooled you because as a blogger there is not much in my life that is private. I have made the decision to open up to the community and share my life - the good, the bad, and the moments in between.

Before I got into blogging, I definitely had my reservations about opening up online to a bunch of strangers at the time. Especially because almost 95% of my photos have my daughter in them. My main priority in life is to keep her safe, but I had this feeling that kept drawing me to starting a blog. It was a way to express my emotions, my journey, and it gave me something to do as I tackled on motherhood and left my job as a teacher. It sort of gave me a since of purpose away from just being a mom to my little one. In this crazy world, sharing about our lives and what we do kind of made me nervous. My goal is to always be REAL with you all. I may share a lot of good moments in my life, but I also want to share the reality. We are now a family living on one income since I quit working, in a new place meeting new people, in a military lifestyle (that is quite demanding), and I am letting go of a lot of things I was used to and changing my life to be a full time mom and wife. So, yeah I think being real with you and where I am in life is important. In order to do this, I have to share it all with you guys. I don’t think it is good for me to only show the highlights, when there is more to my life behind the scenes. So, with that - I had to make the decision alongside my husband about how much to share with you. I wanted to be able to be honest and open, but there is a fine line between sharing it all to you and crossing a line. My husband and I together came up with a list that would help me know how much is too much and most importantly keep my daughter safe. I found it smart to come up with some guidelines to help me feel more safe and comfortable to open up and give me some peace of mind. I am going to share my guidelines with you if you question how to know what to share. Your guidelines may be different - that is ok. These are just some generic guidelines that were important to us as a family as I started the blog.

Appropriate Photos

Every time I post a photo, I always ask myself a few question before pressing upload. These questions are:

Are we going to be okay with this photo in the future? If it is a photo about Marleigh, “Will this photo embarrass Marleigh in the future?”

Can you get private information from this photo?

Can someone use this photo in a negative way that will hurt my family?

Am I okay with a stranger having this photo SAVED on their phone or computer? (It happens. People might like it and save it to send to a friend. A friend might find inspiration and save it. Remember, instagram has a saving method, iPhones takes screenshot - your photo might be saved.)

Does this photo benefit my audience? Are they gaining from this photo or will they like it. (This is not a question to see if it insta worth and to question how many likes- but if I am going to put something private out there are they going to benefit or am I sharing a part of my life that can’t be of help to someone in my audience or give inspiration).

Sharing Location

I do not share my location while I am at the specific location. I may share a broad location but I will never share my exact location. For example, if I am at Disney I will be at Disney but I will not share where I am at that exact time. Usually if I share something on my stories, I have already left that exact spot. It might be a little over the top but it brings us safety. Also, if I share a location in my feed, it is usually after I am gone. Kind of the same idea with my stories!

Details

As an influencer, I want to give you the most information without divulging a lot. For example, when I talk budget with you guys! I will totally share with you guys as much as possible, but I will not share my social security number. I know you think it sounds silly, but it is the truth. One that I have found often is addresses. People will show them in front yards visiting friends or whatnot, just make sure that the addresses are not visible. I will be 100% open with you all, but I will not give you every single private detail that puts my family ar risk. Their safety is my number one priority.

Monitoring following

I say this and I will continue to say this, always monitor your following. I get it - you want a big following especially working with companies. However, having scary people follow you isn’t worth the collaboration in my opinion. I want people to follow me that engage with my posts and don’t give off vibes that they are not there for the right reason. Just be mindful of who is following you. If you have random letters, zero photos, and are private, there is a good chance I will remove you. Lurking accounts cause red flags.

These guidelines are very different for everyone. Yours might be a little more or a little less strict. I find it best to discuss these guidelines with any guardian of the minor that will be showcased if you choose to share photos of your children. For me, my biggest concern was safety for my daughter. I also have to be mindful how much I share with my husband in the military. There are rules that we have to follow as a military family to not divulge certain information. This usually pertains to deployments and stuff that can be taken. I didn’t want to share too much that would go against my husbands comfortability with my online presence and I didn’t want to put something on the internet that one day my daughter won’t like. So these guidelines really help direct me in my posts.

Make a list and use it to help you go through your blogging journey. If you are questioning if you should post, my rule of thumb is to keep it for myself and find something else. If I really like the topic, maybe find a new picture to be the face of the post. If you really want to speak on an issue, be mindful of how you phrase things. This isn’t creating inauthenticity, this is just being mindful of your online presence.

All in all, use your best judgement. Your instincts and decision will be what is best for your feed.

Thank you again I am a Child of God Photography for capturing these moments. Click the link to check out their Facebook page for all my Central Florida friends! They have so many great things coming for the holidays! I will never get over this photoshoot because it was just so much fun and full of true joy! We have some very talented friends who even captured some bloopers of Marleigh pulling my hair and eat grass because a photoshoot with a babe wouldn’t be complete without those. THIS IS REAL LIFE YALL.

xoxo,

Jeana (+ Glen and Marleigh )

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itsjayyyy · 6 years

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September 18, 2018 4:53 pm

wow since it’s been a few days since an update, I had a lot of things to open this entry with, but of course only one topic can be the first i talk about. so, the most recent one: I was just laying in bed thinking about how I need to study for my bio exam tomorrow and also complete the next two modules for econ, but then I realized it’s tuesday and econ hw is due monday nights, and freaked out. I literally went through all five stages of grief, before I was like “it’s okay, it’s only the homework, the exam will pull my grade up” and opened my laptop to start reading for bio. but then I checked econ and apparently because there’s an exam this week, there wasn’t any homework due so HOLLA.

so this past weekend has been annoying, as always. I was at ioa for friday, but we only had three workers total (we normally have 6) for closing, so it was hell trying to close on time. and then saturday I went to usf, which is always hell. not to mention, hhn started so we had to spend an hour cleaning so the night crew would be set. and at the end of my shift, the usf manager has the nerve to say to me that she wants me to pick up some shifts this week. I tell her that I have four exams, and I’ll have to check my schedule, but she says “oh but your availability says you’re free after 4 on tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays” what the fuck!!!!!! don’t go looking at my availability when I’m not your employee!!!!!!! so I kept saying I had to study, I had to see, two of my exams are online, etc and she kept pushing for me to at least take shifts on friday afternoon and saturday, since I should be done with exams by then. I took the saturday shift because by this point my shift ended a minute ago and I wanted to leave, and told her I’d call her to let her know if I can take friday (I won’t.) SO SUNDAY I walk in to ioa (home sweet home), and we have a new coworker!!! And by new I mean he used to work at usf but transferred here permanently. What. “Oh jay we send you to usf because they’re understaffed and we’re overstaffed.” Okay. So I tell my manager that they’re stupid for accepting MORE workers when we have that issue, and she has the audacity to say to my face “oh it’s more than that, he didn’t like it at usf” as if I haven’t spent the last two months telling both ioa and usf managers that I hate usf. Okay. So Sunday, when I next work at ioa, I’m going to speak to my highest manager and tell her that she either tells the scheduler that I am not to work at usf again, or I quit. I have enough money in my savings account to last me a while.

wow. rose deadass drank 6 apple juice boxes out of the 8-pack we had. this bitch clearly doesn’t care if I starve huh.

so yesterday I met up with heather after class in the student union. did I mention how much I love cafe bustelo? I really love it. a good cafe con leche really warms me up. we talked for a while, then I walked her to class. In our conversation, our birthdays came up at some point (I think I said something along the lines of “you didn’t get me anything for my birthday this year! and she said “you didn’t get me anything either!”) and I was like “I bet you don’t even know my birthday” and she said april 22nd. and then later she was like yea well I bet you don’t know mine and i immediately said march 19, so she said she’d buy me starbucks today to make up for it.

today’s morning was really gr8 and also really un-gr8. like, I woke up at 7 thinking I had to leave the house at 8:30 for my ortho appt, and laid in bed for a while before finally getting up and showering. but when I stepped out of the shower and saw the time was 8, I realized that I didn’t leave the house at 8:30, my appointment was at 8:30. cue getting dressed while still partially damp, forgetting heather’s gov’t textbook, and going 75 in a 45 zone. I thank the gods daily that motorcycles don’t get red light tickets.

while driving down the main road leading to my university, I had this white car weaving between traffic. at one point he was behind me, but then when I slowed down in a turn he switched to the right, which ended up being right behind a campus shuttle (you know, the ones that drive 5 mph under the speed limit at all times and you can barely see around. and they’re diesel, ugh!). as he saw me speed up at the end of the curve, he switched back to behind me and sped up too, but as soon as I reached level with the front of the shuttle (and the pickup on the other side of me), I slammed on my brakes so he couldn’t try to go around. Definitely risked getting run the fuck over, but it was so worth it seeing the look of frustration on his face.

I got nearly instant karma, though, because he entered the university through the first turn, when I went for the second a little ways up since it’s closer to my garage. but the traffic light was down, so I had to merge into one lane with everyone else, and then they wouldn’t even allow left turns because it’s too complex for the person directing traffic, so I had to make a right then a u-turn. But it was made up for by the fact that the trike that normally parks in my spot was probably also deterred by the traffic, and I got to claim my righteous spot.

so when I got on campus, I went to heather’s class, or rather, the building it was in since I couldn’t find room 106 exactly. I remembered that my annoying coworker said that her classes were in that building + the one next to it also on tuesdays, but I thought that there was no way I’d actually bump into her considering there are over 60,000 students and the buildings are pretty large, plus I didn’t know what time her classes are.

well, now I know that her class gets out at the same time + same building as heather. we walked towards the starbucks (which is near her next class), and I introduced her to heather, we talked about how it was to work at universal, the sort. and then she was like “well I gotta go to class now, bye!” and i was like bye and smiled and when she was more than 20 feet away I turned to heather and said “that’s the coworker I told you that I hate.”

I love pumpkin spice season!!!!!!!! got a frappuccino tho, because it’s never truly fall in florida. heather got a mango dragonfruit refresher bc I recommended it to her, and it’s funny because the person ordering before us was also named heather and also ordered a mango dragonfruit. As a barista, that’s like my worst nightmare. Luckily they were able to tell it apart because the other heather got a grande. We sat in the starbucks for a while, I explained how weed is a lot more safe than cigarettes, talked about pine hills’ reputation, and how samantha’s mom is so damn disrespectful. This woman drove heather home one day when picking up samantha, and the whole ride was bragging about how samantha was going to be so successful because she’s majoring in some type of psychology and will be making over 90k a year. and then she turned the conversation to how teachers don’t make that much money, and she asks heather how she could do that, just take such a low-paying job. and lemme tell ya how MY GIRL HEATHER FUCKIN SNAPPED. she done said she tired of people saying teachers don’t make a lot of money yall. she said to samantha’s mom, “I don’t know how you’re looking down on my salary when you have three children from three different men with only a salary of $30k.” Y’ALL. the point that heather was trying to make the point that “people from working-class families act as if a salary less than 100k is unacceptable even for an unmarried, childless young adult despite working class families often having a household income of 50k while supporting children just fine,” but damn she really went there. goin off on this good catholic woman for having baby daddies. well samantha’s mom and samantha became very upset. and they told heather’s dad who would not leave her alone until she apologized. as in, he was banging on her door telling her she had to apologize. I said put headphones in and ignore it, she was like “girl you don’t understand haitian parents. my dad literally opened my door with a knife when I locked it.” so she had to apologize :/ but she also made it clear that she didn’t like the way samantha’s mom disrespected her. she tried to make it seem relatable, and be like, “oh what if i said that to your mom, wouldn’t you tell me to apologize” and I’m like???? no???? I would make my mom apologize for being disrespectful first the hell??? then I reminded her about how I literally lived on the streets for 3 weeks because my mom was disrespectful to me.

today after class I decided to take the city bus home, for 4 reasons: I wanted to stay humble and remember where I came from, I wanted time to be able to finish this book, not walking the last half-mile home every day this semester has caused some weight gain, and I really wanted to hold my parking spot against that damn trike, and it seems he comes too early in the morning for me, so I just left my bike there overnight. yea I’m petty.

The book was really good. It’s definitely a hard read, for sure. In the sense that it really will make you cry. At the end, it listed all of the school shooting victims since columbine, plus a small snippet about them (it was like 20 pages long). The one that really got me was an 8 year old, whose text read “shoot me first,” as he wanted to take a bullet so it wouldn’t be used against his classmates. Then, below that entry, a seven year old, who said “shoot me next.” Just typing that is making my eyes water again.

The walk home was super tiring. I’m super out of shape, it was hard for me to even imagine that I did this every single day the entire first semester of college. And I have to do it tomorrow morning again, ugh. Can you believe heather wakes up at 5:30 am???? I’m never seen out of bed before 7, and even then it’s only for things like appointments. But I guess I really should start waking up earlier, because whenever I get on campus around 8 I feel great because I have so much time to study and stuff. but that means I have to buy a coffee on campus, and I don’t know if I want to commit to that expense.

edit: so I originally posted this to my main, and when I saw that I copied it, then deleted it, then tried to paste it into a new post, but I guess I didn’t press ctrl hard enough because it didn’t copy. and I was about to cry bc this is close to 2k words, but then I realized I had a tab of my main open that still had the original post showing, so I copied from there.

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