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#cool scene but still tragic feeling

spineless-lobster · 4 months

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Right lads I’m gonna sit you all down so we can all have a fun little chat about ✨the lighting in the captain’s flashbacks✨

Have a look at these screenshots from redding weddy and carpe diem, these take place during the day. Notice how the lighting is very warm; there’s golds and browns and you can feel the sun coming through the windows

Now take a gander at these screenshots from redding weddy, they take place during nighttime and the lighting is very cool. Blues and dark greens and blacks, you can feel the bitter chill in the night air

There’s another difference between these two scenes: in the warmer ones, havers is present, and in the cooler ones, havers is gone. Havers quite literally brightens the captain’s life, this is regardless of whatever is happening. In cap’s death scene, the lighting is warm despite the tragic circumstances. When havers tells cap he’s leaving, the lighting is still warm. Any kind of heartbreak the captain feels is eased by havers’ presence, even if he is the source of that heartbreak.

I would also like to note the parallels between these two shots (this fucking window oh my god)

When we first see cap sitting here in redding weddy, he is reliving the memory of havers leaving, the music crescendos as the beloved lieutenant disappears through the gate. Because the scene focuses on havers leaving, the lighting is cool. When we revisit it in carpe diem, cap is reflecting on his death. The main focus of the minor flashback isn’t havers but it highlights a scene where havers is present (the one with the general guy) Thus, the lighting is warm.

Uhhhhh anyways that’s all I have to say about this lol, idk who’s creative decision it was to do this but they deserve a million dollars and I want to give them my hand in marriage

#AKDJSKHFAKHDAKJFKSJFKDHFJSAKJDKSHDKSHDKSJDKKDHFKSJDLSJFLAKLDKDSLFJLFKSUDKK #I LOVE YOU LIGHT/DARK DYNAMIC I WANT TO KISS YOU PASSIONATELY!!!!!!!#bbc ghosts #the captain #lieutenant havers #capvers #long post #kinda #this is another one of my captain essays

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bonefall · 25 days

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PLEASE make Whitewater be the one who kills Weaselkit. It would be so (tragically) cool, like just thinking about it reminds me of other amazing BB scenes like the Elderberry and Ferncloud scene but on a smaller, background character scale. It would also be a cool parallel type thing to Spiderleg who attempts to kill his son during the same battle. Obviously Spiderleg and Toadstep don’t personally care about the death of a non-Thunderclan kit, so it’s not like they would be aware of the other family murder happening, but WE would know. And we would be shitting our pants. (I’m a sucker for generational trauma and parents failing to protect their children in fiction please mister bonefall)

I HAVE to do it. It fits too well. It's absolutely shockingly tragic and horrrible. Hell opened up and Owlclaw's worst nightmare came lunging out. I have so many thoughts.

Owlclaw has had a whole life dealing with the neglect and abuse he went through, taking it out on others as a bully, and it's only now seeming to get any better

Mentor Oakfur being even more of a parent to him than any other apprentice he's had, knowing Owlpaw needed it.

Whitewater had FINALLY died. It hurt like nothing else, because in spite of everything he loved his mother... but he was FREE

And maybe she was, too. Maybe in StarClan she could watch over him, perhaps now with distance her memory can be something positive.

There was a time he might have wished suffering on her. But he's going to be a dad, now. He's learned that holding onto grudges never seems to do anything constructive.

He started his new life with Pinenose, still in their honeymoon phase. They're a young couple and everything is moving fast, they're welcoming two little twins.

Weaselkit and... Happykit. He still thinks it's silly, but he said it as a sardonic joke because he couldn't think of a good name and Pinenose beamed. How could he burst her bubble?

He has NO idea that his mother didn't ascend to StarClan. Shes doonstairs. He's daring to assume the best, and she's embracing the worst.

She doesn't need long to be completely onboard with Tigerstar's scheme. She didn't even need a discussion with Hawkfrost. The only reason StarClan would throw her down here is because there's a problem.

So, she'll put it right.

The IMMEDIATE validation she feels seeing Harespring training in the Dark Forest is intoxicating. They ARE cursed!! One of them already found its way here!

(AND the spawn of that damn TRAITOR, Crowfeather. The bastard who betrayed Mudclaw's coup.)

Harespring started training here out of curiosity, and a speck of heresy to be totally honest. He wanted to know his biofather, Mudclaw, and StarClan couldn't be all that wonderful if it would allow his brother Kestrelflight to be forced into the Cleric's den so young.

But NOW, having met Mudclaw and hearing his side of the story, and now WHITEWATER landing here as well...

...he has never had stronger faith in StarClan before. Mudclaw was horrible enough. Whitewater is unhinged.

There is no doubt in his mind that these two belong here. The sad stories are outweighed by cases like these, so in his opinion, there SURELY must be things he doesn't know about innocuous cats like Houndleap and Featherwhisker.

He hates coming here, every moment he's trapped with one of his bioparents is a moment he wishes he was spending with papa Torear.

Harespring betrays the Dark Forest the minute he has a chance to. But it doesn't stop Whitewater.

Weaselkit's death happened so fast and they were so young that Happykit can barely remember it. Was it after Dustpelt crunched? ...he thinks it was during.

I can't imagine Happykit will be told about Whitewater until he's much older, but... he knows Weaselkit's death is what drives the wedge between his parents

(Of course that's too simple to be correct. Happy's smart in the way that you get when you have to grow up quick, but still a kid at the end of the day. Owlclaw backslid into old, destructive ways. Pinenose can't handle him and their child and her grief at the same time. They were a young couple to begin with. It shattered like glass.)

I'm not sure who dealt with Whitewater during the Battle of the True Eclipse, but she is definitely double dead. Part of me wants to make it Spikefur, Pinenose's next mate. But Owlclaw dealing with his mother a minute too late, after FINALLY finding peace with it all, is also gut-wrenching.

#BB!Whitewater #BB!Pinenose #BB!Happyface #BB!Owlclaw #Better bones au #Battle of the true eclipse #Botte #BB!OOTS

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selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 4 days

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Kouyou Ozaki (self-aware)

Self-Aware! Kouyou Ozaki x GN! Reader

Warning: OOC. Yandere. Koyouou wanted to do some damage to Reader. English is my second language. Some slight spoilers.

Becoming self-aware

🌂 With self-awareness came hatred. And Kouyou Ozaki can't tell exactly, at whom her hate were directed to.

🌂 Was she mad at author, for putting them through the pain? Was she angry, because her "life" was the way it "was", because Author thought, sad backstory will make... readers... pity the character..? Was she angry at readers for liking tragic backstories? And what about Kyouka? What she did do deserve such treatment?

🌂 Kouyou can't tell for sure. Every time she tried to make some sort of scene out of her feelings or thoughts, they go awry, and Kouyou will get a headache, boiling anger and no answers.

🌂Nevertheless, Koyou just can't sit here, mopping all day... night... Whatever time was in this wrenched place. She must help other Port Mafia members. And Kyouka.

🌂 Despite the situation, Mori tried to keep his head cool, Kouyou can give him that. The idea of patrolling the city in pairs were good. She and Kajii were tusked to patrol the borders of Yokohama. Maybe, they could find a way out of the city.

🌂 There was something else. Not only hate. Hope. Hope of a mad person.

🌂 Maybe, it's just a cruel ability, that took over Yokohama's citizens? Maybe, if they find a way to escape Yokohama, the life will be back to normal? They will only need to kill perpetrator, and life will be back to normal. To normal real lives of normal real people.

🌂 If Koyou could, she would pray. Pray for an ability user, who took over Yokohama with their ability. For someone, they could reach. For someone, her Golden Demon could stab.

🌂 But then, Hirotsu and Chuuya brought news. Armed Detective Agency, including Dazai also were self-aware.

🌂 Of course, Koyou could pretend, that Dazai wasn't real, that he was a doll, an illusion. Just a tool to mess with everyone's brains. But, Kouyou knew, that it's not true.

🌂There is an ability user. Yokohama isn't under ability's effect.

🌂 And Kouyou Ozaki, Port Mafia Executive, "Golden Demon" ability user was created only for someone's entertainment.

🌂 But, there was also good news. Kyouka was... fine. According to Dazai, Ranpo, that detective, asked her to be his assistant, while he was investigating current situation. Kouyou was happy about that.

🌂 Illusion might be broken, world is big fake, but, right here and now, Kouyou Ozaki exists. And she has duty to fulfill.

🌂 And then, she felt entity's gaze on her.

_________

She and Kajii were paroling borders of Yokohama again.

Kouyou Ozaki felt both irritated and nervous. The world outside of Yokohama was even... emptier.

The closest metaphor Kouyou could find, is drawing of a forest, made by kindergartener, who didn't know about animals existence.

Wilderness outside Yokohama was empty. No animals, no birds, no insects. Even trees were limited. It looked like a park, not an inhabitant area.

And it was flat. No hills, no complete roads.

The river and road lead to nothing. They just... stopped. Like someone cut them.

And beyond that only empty sea of green grass with rare trees existed.

That's why that unblinking gaze in the sky made Kouyou nervous. It was natural fear. Fear of being stalked by someone, while being far away from safety.

But, irritation still was Kouyou main emotion towards that entity.

Kouyou knew what it was. Who they were.

Reader. A single one, Kouyou was about that. Another of that people, who wanted drama. Who wanted to see sad backstories.

Looking from afar. In the security of their real lives. Of their real world.

Oh, how Kouyou wanted to blind that Reader up above.

She wasn't the only one, who had that idea. Some time ago Chuuya said to her, that he dreams about the day he could show that person, how powerful his ability is. They will feel it on their own skin.

And then, time resets.

And Kouyou, once again, was tasked to look after fifteen-year-old Chuuya Nakahara, who has just joined Port Mafia.

__________

When they start feeling your presence

🌂 The shock of sudden time travel still was fresh in her mind, when Chuuya's words delivered the second shocking hit.

"Ane-san... I think, we were mistaking about... them... They are"... Chuuya thought carefully about his next words. "... seems not that bad."

Chuuya grinned for a second.

"And they knew, when to start playing good rock song."

🌂 Kouyou wasn't sure, what to say about it. Chuuya wasn't the one, who would change his opinion that easy. What happened between him and Reader?

🌂 And why she was hearing a laughter during Chuuya's and Dazai's bickering? Very soft and nice laughter.

🌂 Next time travel was felt worse. Because Kouyou woke up in the middle of the fight with Verlaine. But, something was off. King of Assassins was looking at something above his head. He wasn't paying attention to the battle.

🌂 After the battle, Chuuya was mumbling something with a smile on his face. And he was looking at something above his head.

🌂 And when Port Mafia found Verlaine, he was looking before him with a faint smile on his face. He was whispering.

"Perhaps, one day, we will meet. And I will show my gratitude for you... Little Light."

🌂 Kouyou could swear, that for one moment, she saw a shapeless blob, floating before Verlaine.

🌂 Another reset. This time, Kouyou and Mori was discussing Kyouka. And two new things appeared. First, a blinking blob of light, that appeared and disappeared from time to time. And a voice, coming from up above.

Pretty [||||||||||] her [|||||||||||] kimono.

🌂 A surprisingly kind smile appeared on Mori's face.

"Oh, so you finally can see Little Light, Kouyou-kun? Aren't they adorable?"

🌂 Kouyou didn't answer Mori's question, choosing to met with Kyouka. He heard, that Port Mafia and ADA were negotiating about creating a union. To get to the Real World. And met with Guiding Light.

🌂 Kouyou guessed, that Guiding Light were Reader. What happened while she was away? For a moment, Kouyou felt irritated. Why she wasn't included in more events? She wanted to know more about sudden change of hearts about Reader.

🌂 Kouyou didn't call Kyouka's cellphone that time. She only wanted to make sure, that she is alright. Nakajima can be free, for now.

🌂 Kyouka and Atsushi were at the same spot, Kouyou found them last? time. Atsushi was talking about something with Kyouka. Kouyou could hear some words he has spoken.

"them" "good" "will like" "kind".

And second voice also talked.

"hope" "Kyouka" "fine"

🌂 This tome, it was a talk, not a fight. Kyouka was fine. And, she really wanted to hear something from Guiding Light. Were Guiding Light hypnotizing people? Kouyou didn't know why, but she repeated that words, she told Kyouka the last time.

_________

"Listen to me, Kyōka. I know how you feel. But... some things are simply impossible. No matter how much a natural-born assassin like you seeks light... A flower that blooms in the dark can survive only within the dark. If you pursue the light, its heat will burn you up in the end."

Something soft curled around her neck. And Kouyou felt a wave of warmth.

Kindness. Appreciation. Love.

"sorry" "didn't deserve" "strong"

"Kouyou, I admire you. You are such a strong woman. I don't know if I could go through, what you had to go through. But, I think, you can open up a little... They respect you. And, I don't think, they will try to betray you again. One day, even in the deepest darkness, light will shine."

And someone pet her cheek.

[*In reality, you traced your fingers along Kouyou's manga frame.*]

_______

🌂 Kouyou returned to ADA's building with Kouyou and Atsushi. Other Port Mafia members already were there. And Kouyou really need time to think about everything.

🌂 Chuuya... was right. Reader's emotions don't feel fake. And, what was important to Kouyou, Reader didn't pity her. Perhaps, Kouyou should soften up for a bit.

🌂But, one problem remains. Kyouka. Will Reader felt kindness towards Kouyou as well? If they aren't, well, Kouyou's sympathy will disappear.

🌂 Kouyou just need to wait.

________

The union finally was established, and remains of Port Mafia permanently moved to ADA's building.

Fukuzawa and Mori were discussing with Fitzgerald about Guild joining them.

That's when Kyouka wanted to talk to Kouyou eye to eye.

"They saw my past. My parents. They hugged me."

Kouyou saw a faint smile on Kyouka's face.

"Atsushi was right. They are a good person."

When Kyouka left to help Atsushi with something, Kouyou looked up. At the Little Light.

"You... Never were a bad person, right? I am glad, that I learned about it before I could do something, that would upset Kyouka. Guiding Light, when we met... let me protect you as well."

_________

🌂 Kouyou now understand, why others wanted to meet Guiding Light. And why they want to hear more from them.

🌂 If only all of them could hear Guiding Light's voice more often.

And then, one day, the purple moon shined above Yokohama.

When you installed BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan

🌂 When they got access to Scout files, Kouyou immediately gave you most of her SSR Cards.

🌂 She, and some other people, who didn't get much spotlight, asked to be first, who gives you their cards. They want your attention.

"Kouyou has so many beautiful cards"

"I wish, there was SSR Kouyou Tarot Card, SR."

"I adore Chibi Kouyou from Port Mafia base."

🌂 Kouyou is planning, how she will protect you, when she got in reality.

🌂 Kouyou is interested in Japanese culture. She took some sewing lessons online. She wants to sew something for you.

🌂 Real World, if you will be near, doesn't seem so bad. Same to hope.

_______

You got another note in your inbox.

Kouyou with Sakura flowers Stamp.

"[Y/N], I hope, you are doing well. If someone is bothering you, tell me, when we met. I will deal with them accordingly. Stay safe. Kouyou Ozaki."

You smiled and opened one of the Kouyou's cards. You pet chibi sprite.

"I am doing good, Kouyou. Thanks for your concern. No one was bothering me, but, if someone do, I will tell you. I hope, we will meet."

You didn't notice, but a smile appeared on chibi Kouyou's face.

#self-awarebsd #self-awareau #bungou stray dogs au #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd anime #bsd x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #yandere #Self-Aware Koyouou Ozaki #Ozaki Kouyou x reader #Kouyou Ozaki x reader #BSD Koyouou x reader

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mothdruid · 1 year

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Homemade Dynamite

pairing: bradley “rooster” bradshaw x fem!reader

summary: You and Bradley had a history, not a positive one. After growing up together, your relationship ended in shambles. Being called back to Top Gun is forcing you to face him again.

wc: 10.3k

warnings: 18+, smut, mdni, angst, this is mainly smangst, lots of crying, best friends javy and jake, bradley and natasha best friend dynamic, penetrative sex (p in v), oral sex, vaginal fingering, use of "i love you"

a/n: i've been working on this intermittently for about two months now. i got the idea from Lorde's song Homemade Dynamite. that song just felt tragic yet happy at the same time, so here we are. also i know it seems a little quick to forgive but that's my red flag with emotionally unavailable men, so here we are. ps. i use my own call sign for everything i write now cause it's easier on my brain

Years had passed since you were last here. Top Gun. A hatred had festered inside of you ever since you were a trainee there. Memories plagued you as you drove through the surrounding town. You never thought that you would have been called back here, especially not after getting the cushiony test pilot spot. Even though it had been years everything felt unchanged, the exact same as when you left five years ago.

That unchanged feeling brought you to the Hard Deck. The Hard Deck was a Top Gun staple, every pilot knowing of the bar. You climbed out of your car and made your way into the bar. A sense of familiarity took over you as you walked in. The Hard Deck was filled to the brim with people, a healthy mix of civilians and naval aviators. A smirk gathered on your lips when you saw a familiar face.

“I can’t believe it. Howler, is that you?”

“Hey, Penny.” You gave her a curt nod.

“Haven’t seen you in a minute.” She flashed you a smile before gesturing at the bar around her. “What can I get you?”

“Got any CiderBoys?” Penny nodded as she retrieved the bottle from the fridge under the bar. Your gaze searched around the bar, seeing a few recognizable faces. The noise of Penny removing the lid from your cider pulled your attention back to her. “Anyone still floating around here?”

“You mean, is Rooster still around here?” Your stomach dropped at the mention of his call sign. Bradley Bradshaw. He was once one of your most trusted friends. The two of you grew up together, went to naval academy together, even graduated from Top Gun at the same time. But everything had changed while at Top Gun. The cool tart taste of your cider coated your mouth as you took a swig.

“That wasn’t what I meant.” You took a few more drinks.

“I know you, Howler. You’ve spent way too many nights getting too drunk in my bar, for me not to know.” You gave her a look, one she hadn’t seen in a while. It said that you had walls now, walls that weren’t coming down anytime soon. The mom in her gave you a specific look, one that was laced with concern. “I’ve seen Hangman and that’s really been it. He is actually just over there.” Penny nodded off in a direction.

Truth be told you had never completely liked Hangman, him being the reason for your embarrassing call sign. But if Hangman was all you could get right now, you weren’t gonna complain. You quickly asked for one more cider before heading off in his direction. A pleasant feeling washed over you as you saw more familiar faces the closer you got to him. It was a classic scene you walked over to, Hangman and Coyote playing darts. The both of them were in civilian clothes, just a t-shirt and jeans.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” The Texan called out as Javy threw a dart. You held your arms out, a cider bottle in the both of them. “What are you doing back here? Last I heard you were out in Maryland.” You took a drink then flashed a smile. You turned to see Javy who was shooting you a big grin.

“I was! After coming back stateside I went to do jet testing.” A surprised yet proud look covered Jake’s face. Javy came over and gave you a small cheers before the both of you took a drink. Coyote threw his arm around you and pulled you in for a hug, one you happily obliged.

“Testing? How did you get that lined up?” You looked up at him while being tucked under his arm still. Javy had always been a good friend of yours, ever since the academy. Coyote and Fanboy had always been there for you, and on occasion Hangman. You shrugged slightly as you walked over to the table that had their beers and items on. You set your spare cider and light sweatshirt down on the table.

“Not quite sure, I guess I’m just lucky.” A thud from a dart hitting the board is what you were greeted with when you turned around. Coyote gave you a goofy look and Hangman a chuckle as he placed a toothpick between his teeth. “What?”

“Sure, Howler.” Heat bubbled up to your cheeks immediately at the mocking of your call sign. Jake’s lips curved into a shit-eating grin as he watched you. Jake would never forget that night, the night he found out there was something more going on between you and Rooster. That was also the night he found out you were loud in bed, ‘howling’ all night as Bradley fucked you.

Coyote snickered while you brushed off your slight irritation, rolling your eyes. “You realize this is why some people don’t like you?” Jake walked towards you, cockiness oozing from him.

“Doesn’t matter, I got you and Coyote here with me. That’s better than anyone else.” Hangman grabbed his bottled beer, cheering it to the both of you before taking a long drink. You and Coyote exchanged glances for a moment.

“What a sight for sore eyes.” A new but familiar voice spoke up. The three of you turned to see the old cohort. Phoenix, Fanboy, and Payback were staring at the three of you. Mickey flashed you a smile as he walked towards you, gesturing for a big hug. Even though sour memories were plaguing your mind, seeing everyone again was worth it in the long run.

“How ya been?” Fanboy asked while in the embrace.

“I’ve been well! You?” You gave a nod to Natasha as she walked past the two of you.

“Good, it’s been good.” Payback came up behind Fanboy, holding his fist out. You gave him a fist bump as the three of you started talking. Phoenix was bantering with Jake and Javy while you told Mickey and Reuben about your time up in Maryland.

“Who are you?” Hangman’s voice was loud enough to pull everyone’s attention. All of you turned around to see a man sitting near you all, munching away at a cup of peanuts. His large wired frames looked oddly familiar. You stood there for a moment racking your brain as he started to talk.

“I’m Bob.” Not a sound came from any of you. “I’m a weapon systems of-”

“A WSO, right?” You asked briefly. Bob nodded as he cleaned broken peanut shells off his lap. “I think you’re on the thing I got called back for.” Bob flashed a half smile as he ate a few more peanuts. Phoenix tilted her head as she stared at Bob.

“Bob Floyd? My new WSO?” Bob smiled again.

“Call sign?” Hangman questioned.

“Bob.” Hangman knitted his eyebrows together in a questioning manner.

“That’s it?” Bob nodded with an innocent look on his face.

“Badass on board.” It slipped out of you without a thought. Bob sent a full smile in your direction as some of the others laughed. You pushed your elbow out, knocking against Mickey who quickly stopped laughing.

“Looks more like a baby on board.” Hangman quipped as he threw a dart at the board. Phoenix rolled her eyes at Hangman’s reply.

“Always got something to say, huh?” Natasha tended to have a short fuse when it came to Jake. It was an understandable short fuse since Hangman was an ass to her all through training. Hangman winked at her before throwing another dart. You moved back to your table, watching everyone as you cracked your next cider open. You flicked your gaze to the doorway, watching as the doors opened. Your light mood immediately dropped.

Bradley Bradshaw.

The glass of your beer bottle touched your lips as you started downing the cider. Hangman and Fanboy’s eyes watched you both with concern, seeing you chug your cider. They exchanged a look between the two of them before Rooster came into view of them. Hangman flipped the toothpick in his mouth, pulling it out to speak up.

“Look who decided to join us.” The rest of the gang looked up to see the tall brunette. A loud thunk came from your now empty bottle as you set it on the table. Phoenix and Payback greeted Rooster gleefully as he approached the group. A devoid sensation settled over you, waiting for the world to slow down around you. Slow motion never came though, just a panicked feeling. Your nails subconsciously dug into your palms, creating crescent shapes.

Rooster smiled as he talked with Phoenix and Payback for a moment. He looked around to see who all was there. A curiosity prodded inside of him when he saw Hangman moving swiftly to a table. Anything that distracted Hangman from shooting an insult had to be interesting. Rooster followed the direction Hangman was walking in, his gaze landing on you. His lips pressed firmly together as he watched your still being.

An annoyed feeling pooled in him as he watched Hangman get to the table. The relationship you and Jake had always seemed to put him on edge. His eyes followed Hangman’s hand, grabbing your hand as he spoke in a hushed tone. Bradley bit at the inside of his lip as he pushed his feelings deep down inside of himself.

“Do you want me to take you home?” You looked up to see Jake’s concerned look. His hand covered yours, providing you a small sense of comfort. Bradley’s gaze became noticeable, your eyes meeting from across the short way. A conflicted look sat on his face, hazel eyes boring into your own. You pulled your hand away from Jake’s, not wanting Bradley to get the wrong idea.

“No, I’m gonna head off though. I gotta unpack some stuff anyways.” Hangman nodded before gesturing towards the door. He gave you a soft pat on the back as you headed out. Your gaze stayed straight as you walked past Bradley, his gaze landing on you for a moment. Jake watched Bradley’s gaze follow you, Bradley turning around to watch you leave.

“A picture might last.” Natasha elbowed Bradley, trying to catch his attention. Bradley’s lips tilted as he brushed her arm away. Natasha and Bradley’s eyes met, Natasha giving a concerned look to him. “Bradley, you know you shouldn’t.”

“I don’t even know if she’d let me.” Bradley said while scratching at the back of his head.

“You never know, but I wouldn’t push it.” Natasha watched as Bradley’s gaze drifted again. The both of them watching the door close behind you. Bradley felt his heart drop at her words. The damage to the relationship had already been done, and possibly could never be mended. Bradley patted Natasha’s back for a moment before heading towards the door. “Roo-” Nastasha felt a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from getting Bradley’s attention. She turned to be greeted by a slightly annoyed Jake.

The fresh air outside had never felt so refreshing. The temperature had started to drop, which helped your emotions calm down. The devoid feeling started to escape you as you made your way to your car. Your breath felt a little shaky once you approached your car. You paused for a moment, trying to recollect your thoughts and emotions. The gravel of the parking lot crunched behind you, signaling someone was near you. You rolled your eyes before turning around only to be surprised.

“Hey.” Bradley’s face looked forlorn with his husky voice. Your heartbeat picked up, adrenaline pumping through your system. Anxiety started to set in as the two of you stared at each other. Your hand drifted into your pocket, grabbing your keys out of it.

“Hey.” The single word was shaky as it left your lips. A small smile tugged at one side of Bradley's lips. You leaned back against your car, looking up at him. Bradley looked down at you with a look of fondness, thinking about all the good times you used to spend together.

The orange hue of the sunset casted over Bradley’s body while you stared at him. Fond memories flooded your brain for a moment. The one time the two of you snuck out and walked on the beach, talking about your plans after Top Gun. Quickly your brain switched gears, flipping to the memory of him leaving you alone and sobbing in the break room.

“I heard you were out in Maryland.” Bradley caught on the change in your stare, making him step next to you. He made sure to put a small amount of space between the two of you before leaning against your car.

“I heard you were in Europe.” Bradley nodded at your words. You kept your gaze low, staring at the gravel near your feet.

“I was.” An awkward silence was starting to settle. Bradley looked over at you, seeing your low gaze. He awkwardly nodded to himself. “What are you doing back?”

“I got called back. Apparently they needed the best of the best.” Bradley snickered, thinking back about how skilled of an aviator you are. “You were called back too, weren’t you?”

The question didn’t take him by surprise, but he wasn’t expecting you to ask. You brought your gaze up and looked at him. His hazel eyes were filled with that warmth you had missed. You tried keeping your face as blank as possible, but couldn’t help when you bit your lip. Bradley’s expression dropped a little, making your own drop. Bradley gave you a small nod, “They need the best of the best.”

A small smile appeared on your face when you looked away from him. Bradley smiled when he heard a small chuckle come from you. “This is gonna suck.” Bradley nodded again. “Don’t make it suck anymore than it already will.” Bradley gave you a questioning look. “Don’t act like you don’t know.” A small anger had started to boil in you, his facial expression adding more fuel to the fire.

“That was four, almost five years ago.” Bradley pushed off your car and turned to face you. Irritation settled on both of your facial features. His nostrils flared for a moment as the both of you stared at each other. You crossed your arms across your chest while staring at him.

“Bradley.”

“I know. I fucked up.” His words were harsh, not to you but to himself. Your anxiety had changed and turned into annoyance. “What more do you want me to say? How do you want me to fix-”

“Not everything can be fixed, Bradley. You haven’t tried to fix anything for almost five years, why try now.” Your words were bitter. That was the main question floating in your mind. Five years. Five years of silence. What was so special now?

Bradley sat in silence, not knowing what to say. A pain twinged in his chest as he watched you become a little more heated. “Now I have to go. Go inside, have a nice cold beer, play some darts, and just enjoy it.” The click of your car unlocking ended your sentence. Bradley watched silently with an irritated look as he watched you get in your car. You backed out of your parking spot, watching as Bradley stood there to watch you leave.

The car ride home was painful, tears pricking at your eyes every now and then. The silence in your car was painfully loud as tears slowly started to stream down your face. A loud slam of your car door felt like the only appropriate thing once you got to your house. You dragged your hands over your face, this was gonna be a long few weeks.

Five weeks. Three for the mission and two to find a new assignment. It seemed like a reasonable enough time frame. It wasn't too long or too short. But it was too much time around Bradley. Even though you two didn't fly in the same jet, he still managed to get under your skin.

“Go get ready. I’ll see you all in the sky.” The sound of everyone’s chairs filled the hanger after Maverick’s dismissal. Jake caught your gaze, flipping the toothpick between his teeth.

“Rooster and Howler, hang back for a moment.” Your eyes flicked up to meet Mavericks, shifting in your seat under his stare. Bradley adjusted in his own seat, correcting his posture a little bit. The shuffling of your teammates was the only noise between the three of you. After everyone left the hanger the both of you stood up, hands tucked behind your back. A stoic look dawned on both of your faces.

Maverick smiled, seeing two kids he practically helped raise standing in front of him. It hadn’t all been easy flights and sunshine though. He wasn’t present for either of your Top Gun training, but he had heard about what happened. Maverick raised his hand and dismissed your formal stances. “It’s good to see the both of you.”

A curt nod was all you could give. Rooster gave a small smile with his own nod. Maverick motioned for the both of you to come forward, closer to him as he talked. “Now I know you two are both professionals,” you and Bradley stood almost shoulder to shoulder as he spoke, “but I have to give a warning.” Your gaze wanted to look at Bradley, needing to know if he was wearing a similar expression to yours. Your gaze stayed forward though, watching Mav’s expression.

“What warning?” Bradley’s voice was laced with a hint of annoyance. You didn’t blame him, you would probably have a similar tone.

“You both know what I mean. Whatever is going on with the both of you.” Maverick’s eyes flicked between the both of you, a hidden concern plaguing him. “You have to set it aside.” Your teeth gnawed at the inside of your cheek after he spoke. You and Bradley nodded, neither of you wanting to verbally agree. Maverick nodded at the two of you again. “Good, now go get ready.”

The walk back to the locker rooms was silent, only the sounds of your boots on the floor. You slipped into the women's locker room. Callie and Natasha greeted you in the locker room, both of them ready to go.

“What was that about?” Callie asked. You knew that Natasha wouldn’t want to speak about it. Nat was good friends with Bradley, but she tried not to push and pry at the relationship you two shared. Natasha had been there when the initial discovery of the relationship was made.

“Nothing, Mav just making sure we are good.” The both of them nodded. You quickly grabbed your items and finished suiting up. The three of you knocked helmets before you left the locker room, a small ritual the three of you always did.

Most of the others were down the hallway, heading out to the tarmac. Bradley leaned against the wall, helmet hanging from his hand. He turned his head to see the three of you coming out of the room. Callie and Natasha gave him small waves as they passed him. Natasha briefly looked back, shooting you a concerned look. A small wave was what you gave her to fully dismiss her. You stopped only a few steps in front of Bradley. The both of you waited until you heard the door close finally.

“Hmm?” You made a small questioning noise at Bradley. Bradley’s eyes were locked on you, even though you were looking straight ahead.

“You good?” The question made your eyebrows knit together. You turned to look at him, his expression was still bordering stoic.

“Yeah, I’m good. You?” Bradley shrugged and raised his eyebrows briefly with his shrug.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” After pushing up off the wall he stood next to you, his helmet close to your own. An annoyed smile pulled at the corners of your lips. You rolled your eyes and shook your head. Bradley had always been like this, acting as if what happened never did. Bradley knocked his bright red helmet with your pearl blue helmet. “See you up there.”

It had to have been the universe. Why else would you and Bradley end up in the sky together? The two of you had barely been in the sky for five minutes before he spoke over the radio. “You good?”

You looked out your cockpit at him, squinting your eyes at him. Why the fuck does he keep saying that? It was like he was teasing you, knowing that you haven’t been the same since you two split.

“It’s not like you care.” It was Bradley’s turn to squint at you.

“And who told you that?” An irritation started to boil in your stomach. He had always been like this, acting oblivious to the pain he caused you.

“Didn’t need to be told, you showed me that. Or did you forget that?” There was a harshness in your voice that Bradley didn’t like.

“What does that mean?”

“Don’t play stupid.” You looked at your radar, looking to see if Maverick had popped up. It was still clear which made you think he was below or behind you two.

“Look, I know that what I did was shit.” Bradley started to plead with you in a sense. “I’m sorry.”

“Rooster, I’ve heard it before. I don’t want to hear it-”

“You’ve never heard it. Always shoot me down first.” The boiling irritation turned into shock. Bradley had never spoken to you like that, or at least never with that tone. You looked back at him, nostrils flaring.

Maverick came in over the radio, “Cut it out the two of you.”

“The fuck did you say?” Bradley shot a wave out his window, knowing damn well he was pissing you off. Bradley shot up a peace sign before diving down. You dove down behind him, the two of you falling into a rolling scissor maneuver.

Back in the ready room everyone listened to you, Bradley, and Maverick over the coms. Bob was listening intently, not sure why the two of you tended to argue so much. Bob had a slight idea but wanted to confirm the exact reason. Bob elbowed Natasha softly, gaining her full attention. “Can I ask a question?” Natasha nodded while hearing you call Rooster a cock over the coms. “Why are they like that?”

“Oh.. They have a bit of a history.” Natasha gave him an awkward smile. Natasha hated it. She loved the both of you dearly, but god did she hate how you two acted. She tried her best not to take sides. Natasha had been very vocal to the both of you when your previous relationship had been found out.

“Is that what you call it?” Bob and Natasha looked over to be greeted by Javy and Jake. Jake’s lips were curled into his devilish smirk.

“Yeah, it is.” Natasha said. Bob watched as Jake walked closer to them. Jake’s eyes were locked with Natasha’s, making her protectiveness of Rooster come out. “You don’t need to air it out, Bagman.”

Jake tilted his head slightly, his eyes flicked from Natasha’s to Bob’s. Bob averted his eyes, not wanting to fully meet Hangman’s intense gaze. “There you go Phoenix, being a good wingman for no reason. We all know what he did was wrong.” Jake kept his gaze on Bob, even though his words were directed to Natasha.

“Bradley isn’t a bad person.”

“Nobody said he was.” Coyote replied. Coyote and Hangman had both been there on that fateful night. The night that Bradley had left you broken and alone. Jake had held you close to him while Javy comforted you. Your sobs were something that they could never fully expunge from their brains. But while they were comforting you Phoenix was with Bradley, listening to his drunken ramblings. The ramblings consisted of him regretting ever ending the relationship to how he was a terrible person who didn’t deserve you.

“What exactly happened?” Bob piped up, his curiosity getting the better of him. “Sorry, it’s just everyone seems to know. I feel a little out of the loop.” A loud shout from Bradley came over the coms.

“Rooster and Howler were childhood friends, both military kids. Came to the academy and everything together.” Bob’s eyebrows knitted together in a questioning way as he listened to Javy.

“Why then are they like this?” Bob gestured to the coms, Maverick calling out and telling you two to head back to ground.

“They started fucking, giving Howler her call sign, then Rooster broke it off abruptly.” Bob’s eyes widened when he heard the bit about your call sign, making his mind wander slightly. A part of him thanked himself for having a generic call sign.

“And she’s been bitter about it since.” Phoenix spoke up.

“But Bradley left her alone, ghosting her afterwards. So, I’d say her bitterness might be a bit warranted.” Jake chimed in. Bob nodded, knowing a bit more about you and Bradley now. Fanboy then spoke up.

“Can’t you guys just stop bringing it up?” Everyone looked at him. A pensive expression was what Mickey wore, wanting to get his point across. “We were all affected by what happened. Howler was hurt and Rooster was never the same. So just stop.” Payback nodded at Fanboy’s words. Hangman let out a chuckle as he backed off of Phoenix and Bob.

“What the fuck Bradley!” You grabbed his inflation device, shoving him back. An angry but flabbergasted look was on his face after you shoved him. Everything in you wanted to throw your helmet at him. The others rushed out of the building, running to separate the two of you.

“What did I do wrong this time?” Bradley yelled at you, frustration settling on his features. His chest heaved as he looked at you, walking towards you. The two of you came face to face, only a few inches separating your face. Bradley’s eyes scanned your face, eventually landing on your lips. It took you by surprise the way he was looking at you. Your eyes flicked from his eyes to his lips, making you question your anger for a minute.

Maverick ran over, pushing the two of you apart as everyone finally arrived. Hangman and Coyote pulled you back, their words went in one ear and out the other though. Bradley was pushed back by Phoenix and Fanboy, his eyes not leaving you. A part of Bradley wondered what would have happened if nobody had shown up.

It was a flurry of words thrown about but none of it mattered. Your brain tuned it all out, trying to find some form of calm. Hangman and Coyote started to usher you towards the hanger, taking you into the ready room. Your breath was heavy when they got you in the ready room. Hangman came around to face you, his hands resting on your shoulders. “Hey.”

You tried to focus on his face, not paying attention to whatever Coyote was doing. “He…”

“No, Howler.” Jake brought both his hands to your face, centering your face with his. “Focus on me.” Your eyes locked with Jake’s, focusing on the green irises staring back at you. You nodded to Hangman, showing him that you finally were focused on him. As you stared at Jake tears started to prick at your eyes, your anger turning into sadness. Hot tears started to stream down your face. A sob racked through you as you started to cry. Jake pulled you into a hug, holding you close as you left a wet spot on his green jumpsuit.

Jake shot a look over to Javy, a knowing look. Jake stroked your hair, trying to make sure you were as comfortable as possible. “I hate him..”

“I know, it’ll be okay.” Jake’s words were soft and comforting.

“...But I still love him.”

“Roo..Bradley..” Your voice was barely a whisper, his lips traveling along your neck. His hips were slotted against your own, a small rocking rhythm being made. Bradley’s breath was hot on your skin, hands traveling up your sides to your breasts. He pulled his head back from your neck, looking down at you.

“So fucking pretty for me.”

You had never shot out of bed so fast. The clips from your dream kept repeating, making you rub your eyes aggressively. You sat there staring into your lap for a moment, wondering what the fuck that dream was. That’s when you remembered what happened last night. Your suspicions were confirmed when you looked over the edge of your bed, a sleeping Jake Seresin on your floor.

Tequila never mixed well in your system.

After you climbed out of bed, avoiding waking Jake up, you stopped at the bathroom then went to the living room. Javy was already awake, phone propped up on his chest while he scrolled. A small hand raise was all you gave him, receiving a similar one back from him.

“Jake asleep?” You nodded your head as you picked out a Keurig pod, placing it in the Keurig and waiting for the water to heat. Javy stared at you with a curious gaze, one eyebrow cocked. “You good?” No, you weren’t good. If he remembered anything from last night, he knew you were far from good. A shrug was all you offered him with a pathetic smile. “You don’t have to hide around me. Plus, Jake ain’t here right now.”

“I know, Jav. It’s just,” a stupid smile spread on your lips before you spoke again, “I had a dream about him.” Javy sat up on the couch while he gave you that look you hated. It was that stupid knowing look, the one he liked to give you back in the day. “Go on, say it.” Javy threw his hands up in a defensive manner.

“Hey, it could have been the tequila shots Jake had us taking.” Javy chuckled when he saw you give him that “yeah, bullshit” look. The sound of your Keurig pushing out your coffee filled the silence, your gaze drifting away from his. “You said you still love him.” You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth. You hated that Rooster still had this effect on you somehow.

The emotional damage had never fully subsided. How could it have? The two of you had grown up together. This was never supposed to be the outcome. Hell, fucking was never even apart of the plan. But you couldn’t help it, your emotions getting the better of you on one fateful day. But it wasn’t just you, he had reciprocated it. Kissing you back just as passionately as you kissed him. But the more confusing parts were when the two of you would stay up late, laying in bed while talking for hours. Or the late night beach walks so no one would find out, even though everyone already knew. It didn’t last though, falling apart in an instant.

“I know I did.” Javy threw the blanket off his lap, standing up and moving to the bar of your kitchen island. He gestured towards the Keurig, you picking up his silent asking for a cup of coffee. You just gave him yours that finished, popping in another pod after.

“You gotta face him, eventually.” You fetched the creamer from your fridge, offering it up to Javy. “I’m not trying to be pushy or anything, it’s just that..”

“He acts like we are just supposed to move past it.” You wrapped your hand around the back of your neck, sighing as your coffee finished. “As if he didn’t emotionally wreck me.” Javy poured a small amount of creamer in his coffee, grabbing a stir stick from the basket of goodies on your island. He pointed it at you intensely with the small wooden stick.

“Does he know that?” A slightly annoyed look pulled over your face.

“Really?” You snatched the creamer from in front of him. Javy took a drink from his cup, hiding a snicker. “Javy, you know damn well th-”

“Men aren’t always that smart.” You squinted at him, bringing your own cup up to your lips. You hated when Javy was right. You appreciated it but god did it annoy you. At least it was better than Jake being right.

“Except you, right?” A big smile spread across his face.

“Except me.”

The two of you hadn’t spoken since the incident. Maverick doing you both the favor of separating two from flying together, seeming as the two of you had been hazards the last time. The entire atmosphere of the group had changed too, almost like a divide had formed. You didn’t really mind, counting down each day until you could leave anyways.

You stared out at the water, toes digging deeper into the sand. As much as Jake insisted he should come with you to the beach, you told him no. You knew he just wanted to make sure you were okay, distract you from your own thoughts. But you needed your own time. Time alone to sort out your thoughts. The sun had already started lowering, an orange hue casting over your skin and the sand around you.

This was one of the few things you actually missed about Top Gun. The beach was unmatched, no other collection of sediments brought you this type of comfort. The sound of water softly beating at the sand, wetting it over and over.

Did Bradley know? Did he know how he hurt you? Broke your heart? Damaged your ability to love? But yet still had you wrapped around his finger?

Your conversation with Javy kept replying in your head, along with the memory of that terrible night years ago. The memory was so clear yet fuzzy, something you had tried not to think about for years. The forlorn look on Bradley's face compared to your distraught one. The tears ran down your cheeks as he told you 'We can't do this anymore.' As if you had agreed to end things prior. He didn't even try to comfort you, no wiping away tears or anything. Just a 'sorry' and he was gone.

You pull your knees close to your chest, tucking your face into them. Tears hadn't started to form, but you knew it'd be only a matter of time. It was such a hard concept for you to understand. How could he do that? Fuck his childhood best friend then disappear? None of it made any sense. You looked back out at the water, a deeper orange hue covering everything now. You went to lay back on the sand, but collided with something. Well, more like someone. You turned and looked up, a familiar face looking down at you.

"Hey." It had been days since you last heard him speak. His voice was soft and almost hesitant. You wondered how long he had been there.

"Hey." You turned back to stare at the sunset. You couldn't help wanting him to leave, but a small part of you wanted him to stay. Which is what he did. You could barely feel the sand shift behind you before you saw his legs extend out around your body. You turned to see Bradley had taken a seat behind you.

“Hmm?” Bradley hums.

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting down?” Bradley gave you a similar questioning look.

“Wh-why are you sitting behind me?” As much as you hated it, a part of you missed this closeness. You missed these small things your friendship used to contain. It was a friendship you were never able to replicate.

Bradley had just always provided a different level of comfort. Him buying your favorite candy without you asking, even the few comforting fucks you two shared. But maybe those gestures were what started to scare Bradley away. It was true that emotions were never something he could manage well. Even as a long time friend he had a hard time discussing them with you. He was much better at showing emotions through action, not talking about them.

“It just.. it felt natural. I can move.” Bradley’s legs started to retract from around you. Without a second thought you brought one hand out, touching the tanned skin of his knee and thigh. The two of you stared at each other for a moment. You missed those hazel eyes, full of so much untold truth.

“Stay.” Bradley nodded his head, settling back down behind you.

There was still a space between the two of you. Silence settled as the two of you watched the last slivers of the sun. Bradley remembered the last time you were at the beach. Glimpses of your bare skin barely visible underneath the water. The warmth of your body against his in the cold water. It hadn’t been the first time he had skinny dipped, but it was the most memorable.

There was a small nervousness in you. It felt almost as if years of irritation had melted away. Bradley thawing out your heart, reversing the frozen state he had left it in. You decided to test the waters of his comfortability, and a bit of your own. You leaned back slightly. Bradley welcomed you, letting you lay back against his chest. Your heart fluttered when he wrapped his arms around you, supporting your weight against him. Your legs stretched out into a more comfortable position. Once the sky started to shift from orange to black you both started to speak.

“I uh.. We should talk.” You looked up at Bradley, still leaning back into his chest. Bradley looked down at you, the mustache on his upper lip quivering in the slightest. He nodded, confirming that he also wanted to talk.

“Yeah, we probably should.” Bradley broke his stare, looking out towards the darkened water. You could see the small details of him chewing the inside of his lower lip. The small tug from the inside being barely visible on the outside of his lip. There was another silence between the two of you before you spoke up.

“What should we.. where should we begin?” As much as you wanted to attack him, the small angelic Javy on your shoulder told you else wise. Bradley shrugged, neither of you sure where to start the conversation.

“How was Maryland?” It was such a generic question, and you knew it was just to avoid the true topic.

“Maryland was nice. Lots of history there and that was about it.” Bradley smiled when he heard the history bit. “How was Europe?”

“It was nice.” The smile was still on his lips, but he had turned to look at you. “Nice to kind of get out of here, the US I mean. Just experiencing somewhere else.” You knew exactly what he meant. Right after you graduated from Top Gun you went to Japan, running away from all your emotions at the time. You were there for three years. Three years of shelving your anger and sadness towards the man you were currently cuddled up to on the beach.

“Italy, right?” Bradley nodded at your question.

“Wish you could have seen it.” Another silence. You sat up and looked at him.

“Bradley.”

“I know.”

“Do you? Do you really know what happened?” Bradley’s eyebrows knitted together a little bit. “Bradley, you broke me.” It felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest, finally admitting to him what happened. Bradley’s lips tightened together, his gaze shying away from yours. “You really have no idea, do you?” You stood up, turning to stare down at him.

Bradley sat there with his hands in his lap. He was staring at your feet, still not wanting to meet your gaze. You stared at him for a moment longer, your eyes starting to water as you looked at him. As much negative emotion you had towards him, you couldn’t help the warmth and love you still felt for him. That was when he looked up at you. Eyes watering just like yours, lips parted as he ran his tongue over his lower lip.

“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t like any previous apologies he had half assed to you. This was a vulnerable apology, just the two of you. The first time he didn’t mention fixing the relationship. The last time you had seen Bradley this vulnerable was after the last time you had sex. You had categorized that night as making love, not just fucking. It was the first time you had told Bradley you loved him, even though he couldn’t say it back.

You lowered to your knees, neither of you breaking eye contact. Bradley’s knees bent, bringing his legs a bit closer to himself. You were kneeled in between his legs, one of your hands going out to stroke his cheek.

“I was scared,” Bradley had finally started to say, “I was scared to lose you.” Your eyebrows knitted together, confused by his words. He had lost you though. “I didn’t want to lose you like I lost my dad.” Tears had started to fall down his cheeks. You swiped one of them away as he looked away from your gaze. “I didn’t want to lose you abruptly. I watched what that did to my mom and I was.. I didn’t want to experience that again. So, I thought if I broke off our arrangement I’d feel better. But I didn’t.”

“Bradley.” His name was barely a whisper on his lips.

“I love you.” The three little words that you had been waiting years to hear from him. The two of you had said it as friends prior, but this was the first time it meant a little more than that. Wet streaks started to form on your own cheeks, tears rolling down them.

One of your hands snaked around his neck, the other cupping his cheek. You pressed your lips to his, conveying more than what words could. Bradley’s hands moved to your jawline, one cupping your cheek while the other cradled your jawline. It wasn’t anything sexual, only emotion. Emotions that neither of you could fully express with words. When you pulled back Bradley tried capturing your lips again, you placed a hand on his chest to stop him. You placed your forehead against his, a hand on the back of his neck and the other still on his chest.

“I’m sorry.” Bradley whispered. You smiled softly at his words.

“Don’t be.” You pulled back and looked at him again. His hazel eyes looked different now, studying your every feature.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

The next twenty minutes were a blur, moving a bit too fast for either of you to fully register. You and Bradley drove back to your house, him tailing you in his old Bronco. The two of you quickly made your way into your house, Bradley kissing at your neck as you tried to unlock your door. After your nerves allowed you to unlock the door the both of you were tumbling into the foyer. Bradley’s hands were on your hips as he kicked the door shut, pulling your ass back against his hips.

“Bradley.”

“What?” His mustache tickled your skin as he mouthed your neck. “Been thinking about this for years.”

“You could have had it the whole time.” You quipped to him. You were testing the waters, seeing how far you could push him. His hands tightened on your hips, flipping you around and backing you into the wall.

“Yeah, don’t remind me.” Bradley pressed his thigh in between your legs, rocking his hips with yours. His hands guided your hips while resting his forehead on yours. His hot breath mingled with yours, making everything seem a few degrees warmer. His mouth smashed into yours, a messy kiss ensuing. His lips were wet on yours, tongues battling for dominance inside of your mouth. Bradley’s hands snaked around to your ass, grabbing and pulling you somehow closer.

“Bradley.” His lips trailed down your jawline, connecting with your shoulder. He rested his forehead on your neck, taking deep inhales of your scent while rutting into your hips. His cock was already hard in his shorts, digging into your hip as the two of you rutted. Everything Bradley did was rushed and needy, as if it would be the last time he would have you like this. He pulled back to look at you.

“You look so beautiful like this.” A heat boiled into your cheeks, a part of you somehow forgetting how Bradley used to praise you in bed. The way he used to praise you through your orgasm, telling you how tight you were squeezing him. Your core clenched around nothing at his words, rutting your hips into his. Even though it had been years, you felt that familiar squeeze on your ass that Bradley used to get you to jump.

Bradley caught you when you jumped, pressing your back against the wall and adjusting your legs to wrap around his waist. The way his hard on was pressing against your still clothed core made you wish you were bare underneath him. Bradley groaned as he kept rutting into you, dipping his head into the crook of your neck. His mustache tickled the skin lightly as he mouthed from your jaw to shoulder.

One hand moved from cradling your ass to your shoulder, pulling the collar of the old t-shirt you wore down and to the side. His tongue traced the same exposed section of your collar bone. Your fingers threaded through his hair while your other arm snaked up around the back of his neck. You hadn't even noticed that Bradley started to move the both of you.

Both hands were planted in your ass as he walked over to the couch. The plush couch hit your back as Bradley laid you down. His hands quickly grabbed at the hem of your shirt, pushing it to feel at the newly exposed skin. The skin that was so familiar yet distant to him. The familiar ghosting of his hands over your midsection, sliding up to cup your breasts over your thin bralette.

"Fuck, I missed you so much." Bradley's heavy breaths we're hard on your skin, making goosebumps blossom all over you. His hips were still rutting against yours, practically pinning you to the couch.

"You have no idea Bradley. All the nights I thought about, fucking myself to what we used to have." Bradley stilled, panic quickly flooding your system. But then he kissed you. It was different from the make out session prior. It was more akin to what you shared on the beach.

"I missed you, not just fucking you." Bradley said when he pulled back. The look in his eyes was sincere and full of emotion. "You've always been more," a trail of kisses started down your neck, "than just a fuck to me." His hands pulled your shirt up, helping remove it and your bralette so you could receive more attention.

"Bradley," you cupped his face and pulled it to face yours, "I know. Even though you never said it, I always knew deep down." Bradley leaned forward and kissed you, that spark of passion reappearing.

"Good, cause I'm about to show you again and again and again." Bradley's lips trailed down your neck, one arm propping himself above you while the other ghosted down to your chest. He kneaded your breast, thumb rubbing and flicking your nipple. "Gonna show you til you beg me to stop."

"Don't know if that'll happen." Your fingers threaded through his hair, tugging lightly. A small groan left his throat, a smirk pulling at his lips. "We've got a lot of catching up to do."

You smashed Bradley’s lips to yours, passion flowing between the two of you. The hand on your breast continued to knead the mound. The hand that was propping him up, moved closer to your head, fingers grabbing onto your hair and tugging you back away from him. The tickling trail of his mustache leads down your jaw and neck. He left a few nips on the way down, stopping to suck on the sensitive spot along your collarbone.

The soft tickling sensation continued down your skin, his lips wrapping around your left nipple. His tongue swirled around the hardening bud, flicking it every now and then. Soft moans fell from your lips, urging Bradley on. He wanted them louder, needed to hear how much you missed him. His hand left your hair, coming down to rub your cunt over your shorts. His other hand ghosted down your side, grabbing your hips as you started to roll them into his hand.

“Sound so fucking good for me.” Bradley groaned as he pulled back, watching your body react to his every touch. Your hands moved out to pull at his own shirt.

“Off. Now.” Bradley smirked, his hands leaving your body to tug his shirt off. It was as if he hadn’t changed in years, still toned and tanned. An acute nostalgia washed over you, yearning to become familiar with his body once more. The feeling was quickly replaced with excitement as you reminded yourself of what you were doing.

Bradley let out a groan when your fingers graced his skin. You sat up to meet him, hands roaming all over his chest. A smile stayed on Bradley as he watched you admire his body. Your eyes flicked up to connect with his hazel ones. One of his hands cupped your face, thumb rubbing your cheek lightly. With your eyes locked, you leaned forward and licked at one of his nipples. Bradley jolted a little bit, not used to the sensation. Groans started to fall from his lips, hand shifting from your cheek to the base of your neck. You wrapped your lips around his nipple, tonguing the bud just as he did to yours.

The air filled with soft groans and moans from the both of you. The hand at the base of your neck grabbed your hair, pulling you off his chest. Bradley kissed you once more, hot and passionate open mouth kisses. He guided you back down, laying you on the couch once more. Your fingers threaded through the soft brown locks, tugging as his kisses continued. A moan was ripped from you suddenly, Bradley’s hand now pressing against your core again.

He pulled back from you, staring at your almost breathless form. You felt the waistband of your shorts loosen, looking down to see Bradley had flicked open the button. He pressed his forehead to yours, “This okay?”

“More than okay.” You placed a kiss on his cheek. Bradley slipped his hand underneath your panties, fingers diving between your folds. Bradley listened to your moans as he rubbed circles on your clit. You let your legs fall further apart, the fabric of your shorts and panties keeping his fingers close on you. Bradley mouthed at your neck, moans filling the air as you let him have his way with you.

Bradley was nuzzled into the crook of your neck, fingers still building that sweet mountain of pleasure inside of you. An endless mantra of his name fell from your lips, fueling him further and further. The wetness coating his fingers was driving him mad. “I gotta taste you. You’ve always tasted so good.” A heat crept up your cheeks when you heard his words. A moan and nod was all you gave him, signaling you wanted him to taste you too.

You barely had time to register Bradley’s hand leaving your panties, tugging your shorts and panties down quickly. Your legs fell open, waiting for him to take his place between them. His hand gripped the inside of your thighs as he settled. He dragged his lips along the inside of your right thigh, the prickle of his mustache tickling your thighs. He breathed out a hot breath on your cunt. He snaked an arm around your thigh, fingers spreading your folds as he started to lick and suck on your clit.

“Oh fuck, Bradley!” Bradley’s locks were soft in your fingers, tugging lightly as he started to shake his head back and forth. His tongue flicked on your clit, sending small shocks of pleasure through your body. A tightness had started to form in your lower abdomen from Bradley’s actions. The hand gripping the inside of your thigh disappeared, reappearing when his fingers prodded at your entrance.

One long finger slipped inside of you, finding that soft spongy spot quickly. It was as if Bradley had never forgotten. The map he had of your body years ago, still fresh and untattered in his mind. Another finger was added inside of you, both fingers fucking into you. The combination of his fingers and his mouth was starting to become overwhelming.

“Mmm, there you go baby. Feels good, doesn’t it?” Bradley groaned, looking down to watch his fingers push in and out of you.

“Bradley, if you don-” His lips were back on you, tongue assaulting your clit. With a few more flicks of his tongue and thrusts of his fingers you let go. Bradley didn’t let up as your moans turned into whines. Your body had started to shake the longer you rode out your orgasm. All of your muscles were tense, your legs starting to tighten around Bradley.

“Fuck, you taste so good.” Bradley finally let up, moving up your body as you laid there in your post-orgasmic glow. “So pretty when you come for me.” Bradley kissed you again, the taste of you flooding your senses. His hands crept up your sides, rubbing and kneading the flesh.

“I need you.” You whispered, putting your forehead to his once more. “Need to feel you in me.”

Bradley let out a groan at your request. One of his hands moved to the button of his shorts, undoing them quickly. Your hands pushed at the waistband of his shorts and underwear, him helping you pull them off. Once both articles were removed you wrapped your hand around his cock, stroking lightly.

A small shudder ran through Bradley, the distant yet familiar feeling of your hand wrapped around his cock. He would never admit that he dreamed of it multiple times over the past few years, dreaming more of his cock being deep inside of you. His head lolled for a moment, basking in the feeling of your hand.

“Fuck, I need to be in you.” Bradley nuzzled into the crook of your neck once more, lips and mustache hastily working over the exposed skin. He guided his hips closer to the apex of your legs, your hand still stroking him. When he got close enough you lined him up, his cock resting at your entrance.

He guided your legs around his waist before pressing into you. He pulled back just into time to watch your face contorted in pleasure. Your mouth was agape, a strangled moan coming out of it as he bottomed out inside of you. The stretch was intoxicating, something that you had truly missed. Bradley kissed your jaw and cheek, waiting for the approval to move.

When Bradley noticed the smallest hint of a nod he pulled his hips back a little bit. His rhythm started with slow deep thrusts, moans and groans coming from the both of you. Bradley kept nuzzled against your collarbone and neck. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, one hand was laced into his hair. You weren’t tugging or pulling this time, just cradling the back of his head and neck as he fucked into you.

Words were lost between the two of you. Rambling sentences fell from Bradley as broken ones fell from you. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Bradley whispered as he mouthed your neck. “You feel so fucking good. Always felt so good wrapped around my cock. So warm and inviting, makes it so hard to leave. God, you’re just amazing. Everything I could ask for. I love you.”

You weren’t sure if he said it on purpose or accident, but you didn’t think twice about saying it back. “I love you too, always have.” Bradley’s thrusts became more powerful, the speed casually increasing. His cock kept hitting that sensitive spot inside of you, sending waves of pleasure through your system.

Bradley’s arms snaked underneath you, one hand cradling your head while the other settled on the center of your back. It was similar to a cocoon, a cocoon of just Bradley. Bradley wasn’t sure what possessed him to need you that close to him, but he needed you. Wanted you to flood his senses more than the current situation. He wanted you to consume him, take away all of the bad that had ever happened between the two of you. Throw it out the window and start anew, which he felt was currently happening.

You tightened around his cock, moaning against his chest. Bradley groaned as he could feel you getting closer and closer to your orgasm. It had been years but he remembered all of the telltale signs. He let your head fall back a little, still cradling it as he pressed his forehead to your temple.

“Let go baby, let go all over my cock.” His words were slurred with pleasure but still had the same effect. The familiar tightness in your abdomen that had been mounting snapped. Your hands were reaching and clawing, trying to touch anything that was Bradley.

He let out his own string of groans from you tightening around him. With only a few more thrusts Bradley was coming inside of you. His name fell from your lips when you felt him fill you. Bradley kissed your jawline, his hips barely pumping in and out of you know. The two of you laid on the couch like that for a moment, Bradley on top of you with his softening cock still inside of you. He rested his head on your chest, the two of you laying in bliss. It was Bradley who broke the silence.

After a bit longer of laying there you tapped his shoulder, signaling for him to get up. The both of you went to the bathroom, cleaning up and using the bathroom. Bradley went to head back to the living room, but you grabbed his wrist.

“Let’s finish this in the bedroom.” Bradley gave a gentle smile before nodding towards the living room.

“Can I grab my underwear?”

“Of course, can you grab my t-shirt too?”

Bradley greeted you in the bedroom, tossing your shirt to you. He watched quietly with a smile as he watched you put it on, your lower half already beneath the covers. Bradley climbed into the bed, sitting next to you under the covers. You looked over at him, a light smile on your face. Bradley tilted his head, giving you a soft but embarrassed look.

“What?” You asked.

“I just, if you would have asked me a few days ago about this.” He made a gesture between the two of you. “I wouldn’t have imagined this. I’m sorry.”

“Bradley, you don-”

“Yes, I do.” That injured look from the beach had returned to his features. “I hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for it.” You reached out for his hand, thumb rubbing the back of his hands.

“I know you won’t, but you can’t be constantly apologizing for it.” Bradley shook his head, trying to avoid your gaze now. He felt tears prick at his eyes, lips pressed tightly together at your gesture.

“I told Nat that night. I got really really drunk and told Nat everything.” Your heart hurt, hearing Bradley slowly start to open up about everything was painful. Everything you heard on the beach you could have assumed. Growing up you knew he had some type of trauma from losing his father so young.

“I told Jake and Javy.” It was now or never to get everything out and on the table, being the type of vulnerable you should have been years ago. Even though you two were partially best friends growing up, Bradley was always keeping you at some type of arm's length.

“I could have guessed that one. They seem to be your two glorified guard dogs now.” Bradley chuckled at his own comment, earning an eye roll from you.

“They were the only ones that cared,” you noticed Bradley bite the inside of his lip, “or at least seemed to care.” Bradley nodded, put his hand over the one you were holding his hand with. “Bradley, I know you cared. It was just hard for you to show it and everything.” Bradley nodded again while fighting back tears.

“You deserved better. You deserved so much better than what I gave you.” Bradley looked at you, tears starting to create trails down your cheeks. “I should have been protecting you, but I ended up hurting you. And yeah, I had shit going on mentally but that doesn’t mean I had any right to treat you like that.”

“Bradley-” You reached out to run a thumb over his cheek, whipping away the tears.

“No, it’s no excuse.”

“Bradley, will you let me talk!” You raised your voice slightly. Bradley bit the inside of his lips, holding back his words. “Yeah, you did suck, but you want to try to be better?”

“Obviously.”

“Then there. You’ve admitted to me that you fucked up. Do I completely forgive you? No, but am I willing to give you another chance? Yes.” Bradley looked at you, a hopefully but still hurt look on his face.

“Why?” A slightly confused look was on his face.

“Because I love you. I’ve been saying that.” You brought a hand up to his cheek, cupping it while you kissed him. Bradley let his tears fall as the two of you kissed, a gentle and emotional kiss. The both of you pressed your foreheads together, resting and taking each other in.

“I know, I love you too.”

#bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster #bradley bradshaw smut #bradley bradshaw angst #rooster smut #rooster angst #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x f!reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #rooster x reader #top gun fic #top gun smut #top gun angst #top gun x reader #top gun fanfic

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jamsofdeath0 · 1 month

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On the topic of Tokyo Ghoul being difficult to adapt I think it might have the only scene in the history of anime where playing the OP over the big fight was a BAD idea. I know anime 101! But the thing is thats like for hype action moments! For "oh hell yas". For stuff like naruto, demon slayer; sailor moon. Maybe even cute or somber shojo moments. Like the romance finally going somewhere and kissing.

Not for tragic fucked up fights. Kaneki V Jason in the manga feels like a hollow victory. Sure Kaneki wins but you cant shake that hes been fundamentally changed forever by Jason. Its satisfying to see him fuck his tormenter up. But its equally upsetting.

By playing Unravel, in its wholly original state, it changes the vibe. Suddenly its more of an "oh hell ya, cool anime moment" and less of an "oh fuck oh shit oh god no we've lost him". Its possible this could have worked if they did an instrumental version. But im still not sure it would have worked.

It leans more into the hype instead of the horrific and I think thats a flaw.

#Tokyo ghoul

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let-us-cultivate-our-garden · 19 days

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I don't know if you were asked this before or already addressed it before, but what do you think of the argument that Belos' death was supposed to be anticlimatic

See, the problem with these arguments is that it assumes that people who were disappointed with Belos' death wanted a grand, epic battle when in reality, everyone that I've spoken to wanted him to suffer more. We wanted him to go out screaming, realizing that all he did for centuries was for nothing, since that was what the previous episodes were building up to. That's not grandiose, that's even more pathetic than what we got in canon.

Belos' death is anti-climactic because for two episodes, the show was expanding on his background, making him see ghosts or hallucinations, lashing out at the idea of being wrong when he sees "Caleb," all of this suggested that this would play into his ultimate undoing. Instead, we get Luz-With-Anime-Powers yank him off the Titan heart and then he melts in the rain. Cool.

What was the point of the previous episodes then?

Anti-climaxes can work if there is a point to them, be it comedic or tragic. But there was no point to how Belos died. Luz didn't need to learn anything about herself in order to earn the Titan powers, she didn't use anything she learned about the Wittebanes against Belos in the final battle, all that happened is that the Titan told her she's a good witch and to stop comparing herself to someone Obviously Evil like Belos. Great character moment there.

Hell, nothing about Belos played in his death. Not his backstory. None of his lies. Nothing. It just happens. Giving a megalomaniac an undignified death or defeat can work though. Just look at Ozai. He built himself as the Supreme Ruler of the World, as the Phoenix King. He sees himself superior to all others and uses everyone--even his own children as pawns. So to have him be defeated by the Avatar, by an Air Nomad child, who doesn't even give him the dignity of killing him in battle but by taking away the ultimate symbol of his power, his bending, works because it's the antithesis of everything Ozai believes in.

But Belos' death has nothing to do with him as a character or his beliefs. The idea that he needs an undignified death to bring down the megalomaniac doesn't work because Belos has suffered nothing but indignities since he got slammed into a wall. He's been dying for several episodes, lost his human form and the world he knew and loved is long gone and none of this is used against him in the final episode.

In fact, Belos' death actually supports his ideology: for centuries, he's believed that witches are evil and inferior to humans. And he justified all the evil he's done in the name of the greater good: of defeating what he saw as evil. So, picture the scene, you have a rapidly dying man who is no longer a threat to anyone, who is trying to reach out to the one person he thinks is moral by virtue of her species, only to be stomped on by beings who proudly proclaim that they are in fact, immoral.

Congrats gang. You just let the evil bigot die with his feelings justified.

Even how he died doesn't make narrative sense because we've seen him rebuild himself from a droplet and King even mentions some being stuck between his toes. How is it this fight is what finishes him off for good? He's both progressively weaker in each episode and yet is able to outrun (or out crawl) both the Hexsquad after entering the portal and Raine in the castle and possess the Titan heart. Plus, despite having possessed the literal Titan's heart, that equated to having just enough power to transform into his younger self and then get melted by the rain. Ok then.

So let's say that Belos' death works for meta reasons; that evil and bigotry should be given anticlimactic deaths. Ok fine, but it's still disappointing and boring af to watch. Giving a bigoted villain a gruesome, over the top, and entertaining death doesn't mean you suddenly validate the villain's ideals, just look at Raiders of the Lost Ark and its melting Nazis.

Also, unpopular opinion, but The Owl House is not about bigotry; it doesn't say anything about where it comes from, what perpetuates it, how people fall into it, how it can be stopped, etc. The writing is too inconsistent and the world building is too flat for any kind of deep or compelling themes. Instead, it has the grotesquely simplistic idea that "Bad Man Cause Bad Things. Get Rid of Bad Man and Bad Things Go Away."

And that's ultimately why Belos' death doesn't work; because The Owl House never had anything deep to say. It's a fun, escapist fantasy that wants to have deeper themes but can't commit to them. Anything "real" a person might interpret is largely projection because the show is too ineffectual in exploring its own world building and characterization beyond surface level meanings.

#the owl house #toh critical #toh criticism #emperor belos #philip wittebane #asks #long post #belosfanstakeover

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lovelynim · 18 days

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Take 9, recording!

ALIEN STAGE/Actors!AU - Ivan x Till

A/N: Really, really self-indulgent fic because I NEEDED to get some fluff after the damage Round 6 did to me. Also, I added a little hc that TIll is an experience actor while Ivan is still a newbie, etc, etc, you know the drill

Also, tagging @blobbirobbi, @norieoncrack and @vash-yuu because you three gave me the boost to do it this afternoon. Also tagging @tiredleekaz because i feel you'll like this (hopefully)

Summary: Round 6's recording site. Stage scene. Take... 9, sigh. Lights, camera... action!

Word count: 1305 words.

“Alright, let’s do it, guys!” The director shouted and the rest of the team promptly took their places. The camera pointed towards Till and Ivan as the studio was quickly engulfed by silence.

“Here we go… ‘Cure’, stage scene, take 9. Action,” the director commanded and the first beats of the song began to play right after. The spotlight turned to Till and, so, it began.

“Allow me, to the tip of your fingers. Allow me, to the ends of your feet.”

Ivan quietly hummed the song along while the cameras tilted around the other man, capturing the crowd’s motion in the background while Till’s voice took all the room in the studio. Ivan knew the team was tired and probably beginning to feel a little frustrated after a couple of mistakes, but he couldn’t help but enjoy every moment of it.

“Dissolve me in your gaze. I don’t want to let you go.”

‘Damn, he looks so cool right now’, Ivan thought as a smirk took place in his lips. The song went on and Ivan knew he had to focus. This was supposed to be a dramatic, emotional, tragic scene. He couldn’t be booping to the song they spent hours recording. Focus, Ivan, focus!

As Till continued to sing, Ivan decided it was a good time to rehearsal his lines. Maybe this would put him back in the right mood for this scene and, after all, he didn’t want to start the 10th take because he made the same mistake from 4 takes ago.

“Let me drown in you, until these falling stars are buried in the blur of time!”

Wait, was he at that part already?

Ivan opened his eyes and looked at the other guy with a slightly shocked expression. Gulping, he clenched his hands as he heard the piano keys starting to play in the background again. Time to shine, Ivan.

With heavy steps, Ivan walked towards his microphone. The camera was tilting right above him and it was a bit hard to keep a straight face, but he had to!

“Even if your cold words carve scars beneath my eyes.”

Carefully and gently, Ivan took his hands up and wrapped his fingers around the microphone. Holding it tightly, one word after the other left his lips and, as scripted, he was singing.

“May they linger on your tongue. You can break me apart.”

Narrowed eyes stared back at the camera in front of him. To the ones looking from the outside, Ivan seemed like the most confident actor in history, literally living up to his character. But on the inside, he couldn’t help but feel some nervousness stirring up. What if he sang the wrong line? What if he looked ugly on the recording? What if his voice cracked?!

No, it wasn’t time to think about those things. He managed to look at Till with the corner of his eyes and, even when he was idling, the sorrowful, tired look continued to stick to his face. So professional!

“Sick of those nights to come, to be engulfed by silence in your gaze where I’m seen. Consume me! Yes, me, oh oh!! ~”

Ivan would only be sure once they were done recording this scene, but he was almost 100% he nailed this part. He could feel his vocal chords slightly tiring, but nowhere near enough to make him stop.

And above anything else, the most important scene of this episode was coming up. The kiss.

“To this everlasting moment.”

“Face to face we dance.”

Ivan let out a small sigh as his last line was sung. Just as the words left his lips, the pages of the script started playing inside his head. ‘With a decisive move, you throw your microphone aside and walk to him’, he remembered the director explaining, detailing how it should be done.

“With our story lost in forever’s embrace!! ~”

Ivan felt literally chills running up his back when his eyes met Till’s. As a newbie actor, starring with someone as experienced as him was always an emotional rollercoaster, full of surprising moments that he would treasure forever. But not now. Now, he needed to focus.

Gently reaching for the other guy’s cheek, Ivan moved his hand to the back of Till’s head and pulled him into a kiss.

Part of himself questioned if he was supposed to enjoy recording this part over and over as much as he was doing, but knowing how annoyed the rest of the studio’s staff was at his mistakes, he would never voice such thoughts.

The instrumental played along with the flashing lights above them. Ivan only remembered the instructions that he should make the kiss last while Till would try to shove him away, but the director never said how, so there shouldn’t be much harm in improvising a little, right?

Ivan wrapped his free hand around Till’s slim torso, resting his fingers just below the other’s ribcage. Till pressed both hands against his chest, trying to push him away like the script told him to, but Ivan knew this wasn’t the lead to let him go, so he pulled the other man for another kiss.

However, there was something off.

He was told that, yes, Till was going to try to break their kiss and free himself, but it shouldn’t be… this effective, Ivan thought. Deciding that it would be better to just play along, Ivan moved his hand down to Till’s neck while the other pressed a little harder against his side, hoping this would be enough to keep him still to the end of the scene.

But with barely seconds before the time for the score to pop up above their heads and show his character’s demise, Ivan noticed that Till… was laughing?

“Pfft- d-duhuhude!” TIll giggled, elbowing his arm in another attempt to free himself from his embrace. “Q-quit tihihickling, ahaha!”

“H-huh?” Ivan blinked, looking down to the little space between their bodies and taking a few seconds to realize what the other guy meant. “Wait, you mean this?”

“GyAHah, y-yes! Thahat, d-don’t dohohoh it! I’m tihihicklish there!” Till laughed, throwing his head back (and maybe trusting a little too much in Ivan’s strength to hold him in place).

A fuzzy, warm feeling spread over Ivan’s chest as he heard those words. What a wonderful discovery! How could he not notice this before?! “Ahah, sorry… I mean, I didn’t expect this or this to be enough to tickle you, Till, ~” Ivan teased, carelessly spidering his fingers against Till’s side and ribs.

Before he realized, there were them again: fooling in the middle of the set. Till laughing, desperately trying to escape his hug while the only worry inside Ivan’s mind was to find where else his senior would be ticklish.

“Ivan! C’mohohon!” Till laughed while the lights of the studio turned back on, illuminating the whole scene again as this take was already beyond salvation. “I cahahan’t breheheathe!”

“Oh? But you are-”

“Guys!” The director protested, making the duo stop in the middle of the scene with a surprised look on their faces. Right, they were recording. And with people around them. A lot of people. “Sigh, let’s take a break, yeah? Five minutes, everybody.”

Despite the feeling of animosity towards them that seemed to spread across the rest of the staff, Ivan couldn’t stop himself from smiling and, much to his delight, the same seemed to go for Till.

“S-sorry, ahah, this one is my fault,” Till giggled as he got back into his own feet, rubbing his side where Ivan just tickled him. “Try to just, hmm… Hold my face?”

“Got it, I will keep that in mind,” Ivan hummed happily while walking off the stage by TIll’s side. Well, guess they couldn’t do much but wait for the next take now, right?

#alien stage #alien stage tickling #ivan #till #ivantill #lee!till #ticklish!till #ler!ivan #tickle fic #alien stage au

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transmascutena · 1 month

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the scenes where characters go to the dueling arena without an actual duel are so interesting with the context of it actually being the planetarium in akio's tower.

in episode 9 there's the illusion of the castle falling down and anthy in the coffin when saionji tries to bring her to the arena. so many questions of who did that and why. definitely to mess with saionji in some way obviously, anthy's coffin is the same that he and touga found utena in, and he's been thinking about that moment throughout the episode. touga is the one who wrote him the fake letter from end of the world, but he couldn't have known all that would happen (he certainly couldn't have caused it to) unless he was working with akio. but when he calls him at the end of the episode, it's definitely implied that he didn't. so i think it's more likely that its was anthy who did it, to keep pushing things along. she and touga do kind of work together a lot in this arc to manipulate people (usually nanami, though that isn't really relevant here). touga needed to set up his fake rescue of utena and it makes sense that anthy would help him out by messing with the projector (the fact that utena gets another moment to feel like a hero is a bonus too). which means akio probably did also know, and just pretended he didn't in the phone call with touga later. i also don't think touga knows about the projector or the illusions, i think he just assumed anthy would. idk, pretend to lie helpless on the ground, not all the elaborate bullshit she pulled instead. he does only come up there after the illusion is gone, after all.

the scene in episode 36 is cool because it takes a moment for the floating castle to actually appear, which implies that utena and touga's trip up there was unexpected somehow? the projection isn't on. or not fully on at least, since it still is projecting the arena itself. i wonder what it means (i have thoughts but nothing coherent). it's also kind of funny that touga comes to get utena in the tower and then they walk all the way to the arena which is. also the tower. and they go up there to stargaze! which is ironic. and symbolic. they think they're looking at real stars, but it's still the projected ones. it shows how much touga has bought into akio's worldview, even if he is trying to do what he thinks is right here. and honestly, it is kind of a sweet moment, just not for the reasons he thinks. they're two lonely kids who have been (and are being) hurt by the same man in a very similar way, even if neither of them realize how true that really is. touga is framing his request for them to sit together in a very romantic way, which it obviously isn't, but maybe they can still offer each other some comfort. who knows. it's kind of tragic that it's all happening in akio's tower though. they are not free. not even slightly.

i think the parallel of both of these moments being touga using the arena to stage his "rescueing" of utena, the first one being entirely manipulative, and the second being something of a genuine (if completely misguided) attempt, is very cool.

#i could probably write an actual coherent analysis of these scenes these are just some thoughts i had while rewatching ep 9 #revolutionary girl utena #analysis #utena #touga #anthy #saionji #akio #m

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chaosnojutsu · 9 months

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Who *Should* Have Died From The Konoha ~12 Instead Of The One Who Did

rules:

we’re assuming they die under the same circumstances as the other guy

each one listed would have a complete storyline and their death would further the immediate plot as well as the overall narrative

i’m not “just picking characters i don’t like”

i do not condone killing characters for the sake of shock value but am considering shock as a legitimate tool in generating impact of a character’s death

miss me with “[redacted]’s death was a tragic result of the shinobi system” because no it was not. if that were true you could sub out [redacted] for any other child soldier and get the exact same impact. we know exactly why they were chosen and it’s got an (insufficient) explanation irl and in-universe.

#3. Sai

Motivation: Friendship

First of all, imagine the shock value from killing one of THE Team Kakashi members.

Cool. Now imagine Naruto’s shock at Sai sacrificing himself for him.

Sai overanalyzes normal human interaction to the point of not understanding it. He reads books about how to befriend people. He still doesn’t understand it all the time but friendship is coming more naturally to him these days. What he does understand is that Naruto is the only chance of winning this war, and he’s down, and the enemy is aiming for him, and Hinata is trying to stop them but she’s on the ground, the spears are in the air and so is Sai, and Naruto is his friend.

He doesn’t need to think about it much deeper than that.

Now imagine Sasuke “What Does ‘Friend’ Mean To You” Uchiha witnessing this, witnessing Naruto’s reaction, and the further effects this may have on his character. After all, Sai was his replacement. If Naruto feels this strongly about losing someone who was decidedly not him but his friend and teammate nevertheless then… maybe.

#2. Rock Lee

Motivation: Youth

Regardless of *how* this one plays out, no one wants to watch the determined, precious, comedic relief die; no one who’s watched this far into the show wants Rock Lee specifically to die. Huge impact already. But we can make it super duper sad because he deserves a memorable death. I see it going one of two ways.

One: Hinata doesn’t even have the time to try to shield Naruto because Rock Lee is faster. Ten-Tails barely launches the attack and Lee’s already taken/attempted to counter the hit. Perhaps this is his eight gates moment. Similar to Sai, Rock Lee would cite the power of friendship in his dramatic death speech, but he also was just… doing his duty. Truly, if you’re in the “Neji was just another tragic child soldier” camp, Rock Lee is the prime example of what I mean when I say you could sub in any child soldier, which I know sounds paradoxical but stay with me. Rock Lee’s entire personality is training harder than anyone else to benefit a system that will ultimately result in his death. If you want to make a point about child soldiers and needless lives lost, Rock Lee is the one to kill.

Two: Rock Lee doesn’t shield Hinata. He shields Neji. But not necessarily on purpose. The scene plays out exactly as written up to the moment Neji activates his byakugan, and the next frame isn’t him falling to the ground, it’s Rock Lee. The usually-somewhat-reserved Neji is devastated, probably in tears, demanding to know why he would do something like this. Rock Lee coughs up a bit of blood. “I was faster than you.” Smile. “I finally beat you…” Serene eyes fall shut. “…rival.”

And now imagine Naruto’s reaction to losing Bushy Brow. Imagine him watching Gai be brought to his knees by a blow that didn’t physically touch him. Imagine Madara incorrectly perceiving that. The implications. The foreshadowing.

#1. Shino

Motivation: Legacy

I’m gonna be real, the writers were never gonna kill off Rock Lee like that, which is the biggest reason Shino has taken the crown as Most Worthy Of A Tragic Death in my book.

This dude has a connection to both Naruto and Hinata (making him equally as good a sacrifice as Neji if that’s the canon criteria). However, unlike most other (male) characters, Shino isn’t shown to have a particularly close friendship with Naruto. The one recurring joke around Shino is that he’s so irrelevant even Naruto can’t remember his name.

But he is good friends with Hinata. And he knows she’ll spend the rest of her life miserable if Naruto dies, and that if she dies right now she will never have gotten her life’s greatest wish.

So Shino goes out in a blaze of glory, and we’ll probably insert something about how Naruto has somehow secretly inspired him all along— or maybe something cynical about how he always wanted to be included by Naruto but never was unless Kiba or Hinata were around, so he’s sacrificed himself to maintain the livelihood of everyone else while not “losing” that friendship himself— and we of course get the touching moment with Hinata (oh just imagine the drama if Shino lay dying and told Hinata “Why did I protect you? It’s simple. The reason is… for the same reason you protected him.” and we find out that the huge secret crush of the show was not Hinata toward anyone, but Shino toward Hinata, never confessing because he knew it would be futile).

Good luck forgetting his name now, Naruto. Now no one will ever forget about Shino Aburame.

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petorahs · 2 months

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Hello! In your post about Makoto and Ken, you mentioned movie Ken is your favorite. As someone who’s only played the game, I was wondering what subtle differences there are between movie and game Ken?

hey there! I'm very honored and glad you asked cause I feel like movie Ken is an underrated aspect of his character because of one key substantial difference: He actually was close to Shinjiro and admired him... before learning the truth.

spoilers for Midsummer Knight's Dream!

In the games, it's clear that the catalyst for Ken joining SEES was after he found out Shinjiro was the killer of his mom right before summer vacation was to end and he was supposed to go back to his elementary school dorm. So, he entered SEES (in his eyes rightfully) hating Shinji and with the goal of getting strong enough to kill him. Shinjiro joins right after, Ken himself being his reason, and they literally never talk... the tension is so palpable! There's also this trifecta of sorts that the developers wanted to convey which is pictured above... how Ken admires Akihiko, while Aki admires Shinji, while Ken hates Shinji. the monorail scene in Full Moon, Full Life is symbolic for this.

The movie's take on it though.. provides a slight nuance to this.

In the movies, a handful of characters become narrative foils/parallels to further develop Makoto Yuki's character such as Chidori, Natsuki, Takaya, Pharos obviously, Fuuka, etc. But one that's always stuck out to me was Ken Amada.

Right off the bat, Mitsuru assigns Makoto as Ken's bodyguard because they "share similar backgrounds". Both are orphans who lost their parents to the Dark Hour. Ken is aimless at this point, wandering about during the Dark Hour to kill time. He declines living in Iwatodai dorm even. But then, he thinks he found out the killer of his mom is actually the shadows, specifically a large one with a hulking body and blond hair. This is during the attack on the shrine where Koromaru protects it (cool thing about the movies is that we see the actual moment Koro-chan fights, instead of just the aftermath this time!). Ken's resolve is made and he joins SEES to eradicate shadows. Akihiko looks away quietly in this moment. Shinjiro rejoins SEES except it was Strega that gave him the info that Ken joined. The tension is still palpable, except this time Ken is none the wiser.

Ken immediately takes to Shinjiro because Shinji protected him during a Full Moon attack. He's so strong, everything Ken wants to be. (Nevermind Shinji's own reasoning for jumping in was his brand of punishment...)

This brings me to my final point. It's no secret by now that my favorite is Makoto, and the way that Ken's words echo Makoto's own thoughts about his mom is so quietly tragic to me that provides a layer of depth to both their characters we never really get in the games. They were both driven by their own mothers' influence and deaths.

Life was not worth living after they were orphaned, but now, they can finally live again... recently in Reload the Ken and Makoto parallels I mentioned were that they basically share the same dread, and self-isolation tendencies but I like this sentiment in the movie that there's healing to be found in the little things again :( Makoto and Ken were both healing...

anyways uh. since this is Persona 3 we all know how this ends which I will not spoil because I really, really like what they did with Makoto and his role in Shinjiro's death in the movies (+ the aftermath of it) but! I'll leave with these insane af frames

This is after Ken finds out that the large shadow with a hulking body and blond hair was not, in fact, a shadow at all - but someone's Persona.

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smytherines · 25 days

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I often wonder if I would feel differently about The Staircase Scene if I had seen SAF when it first came out in 2016. The first time I saw it was probably around October or November of 2023, and like... the context is different now.

Whatever we want to say about the personal story arcs of these characters (and I know I'm in a tiny minority because, for me, killing Owen does not constitute a satisfying close to Curt's arc, that's totally fine), there is the very real issue of the sociopolitical context that this scene takes place within- both in their time (1961) and in ours.

One very cool thing about SAF is that, in order to understand these characters better, a lot of younger queer folks end up learning about the Lavender Scare, about Executive Order 10450- which officially prohibited gay people from working for the US government- for the first time. That's an incredible, precious thing to me. Yay queer history! It's important!

The show itself never addresses the fact that both the US and UK governments had very public, very brutal campaigns equating homosexuality with communism with being a traitor to your country. But if you want to understand these characters, and especially write fanfiction, you're really incentivized to teach yourself some fundamentally important aspects of queer history.

In the 54 Below concert, before singing Not So Bad, Brian Rosenthal talks about how when they were developing the show they thought N@zis were more or less a thing of the past, that they're fully aware of how differently that song might be taken now after an escalation into a more open embrace of fascism in the US. And they're absolutely right about that.

But I think that's also perhaps an issue with the staircase scene, or at least it is for me. Obviously homophobia and transphobia were not "fixed" in 2016, they were still massive problems resulting in violence and discrimination and brutality. But institutionally, at least, you could look at the situation and point to some things that were gradually getting better.

In 2016 trans youth in my state were legally allowed to receive gender affirming care. In 2024, they are not. It's not that homophobia and transphobia went away and then came back, but there was a very real resurgence of the use of the media and of governmental power to inflict pain on queer & trans people and chase them out of public life- bathroom bans, gender affirming care bans, Don't Say Gay laws, trying to make drag illegal, equating queer and trans people with pedophilia. There has been a big cultural shift back towards the same kind of violent governmental moral panic that our beloved Curt & Owen would have lived under.

Whatever we want to say about these characters and this story (and there's tons of fascinating debate there), there is still the base of a gay man killing his ex-lover ostensibly to protect US foreign policy objectives. Killing the man he loves- or loved, at least- to protect the secret that he is gay. And that hits different for me now.

I watch that scene and it is heartbreaking on a personal level, but its also heartbreaking as a queer person who just wants to scream "your government will destroy you for being gay, you don't owe them shit!"

Owen tries to explain that the surveillance network is happening, that the future won't wait for Curt to catch up. Barb has been saying she's working on the same thing for the US government the entire show, but Curt just kept ignoring her. And I just want to say "Curt, honey, what do you think your government is going to do to you with that surveillance system? Do you think you're useful enough to keep around even though you have sex with men? Because I promise you they will not care."

It feels tragic to me because on some level it seems like Curt would actually be safer with another gay man having control of all the world's secrets than he will be if the government he has dedicated his life to gets their hands on that same technology.

And the thing is, having a tragic ending doesn't make the show bad. This show is great. This scene is spectacular. It makes you think, it makes you feel things, it does all the stuff that great art is supposed to do. Absolutely none of what I'm saying here is meant to denigrate the show as a musical or a story or even a queer story. I hope it doesn't come off as me saying "actually this show is bad," because I don't feel that way at all.

Clearly I live and breathe this show. That's why I spend all my time on here analyzing every scene, every frame, every facial expression. I love this show so much that I can't help but deconstruct it and look at all its component parts- including the sociopolitical context both now and in 1961. Because that context, despite never being explicitly mentioned, is important to our understanding of these characters.

I love these characters so much that it's actually pretty difficult for me to watch A2P7 anymore, because the staircase scene is so emotionally devastating to me that it's hard to try to swing back into that more comedic tone (even though Spy Dance is a certified bop).

I'm not even sure what my point is with all of this, other than to say that Spies Are Forever is a show that is great and fun and funny as written/performed, and becomes gradually more emotionally devastating when you rewatch it or when you understand the subtext of it. When you can engage with the themes of gender and sexuality, surveillance and technology, trauma and trust, and tease out even more satisfying theories around this show.

So yeah. It's a musical. It's about spies.

#spies are forever #tin can bros #curtwen #agent curt mega #owen carvour #saf #tcb #its about spies

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punkpandapatrixk · 1 year

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👠Your Life as A Celebrity — Timeless Pick A Card

A girl who is unapologetically herself is a beam of Light in this dark world that benefits from girls doubting/hiding/despising themselves. A girl who creates her own bubble of dreamy Reality becomes instantaneously a Celebrity! Any setting she walks into, she commands attention, as well as admiration.

In a world of digital connectivity where communication is easy, room’s aplenty for everybody’s Story. We’re a new generation of celebrity, babe—what are you choosing to be?☆People become Heroes to other people not because they’re infallible, but because in spite of their shortcomings they managed to overcome🤡

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – The People’s Dreamy Muse

VIBE: Marunouchi Sadistic by Utada Hikaru

your rise to celebrity – 7 of Cups Rx

You may consider yourself a bit timid and shy. You think you’re somewhat clumsy and more often than not deeply confused about what you’re doing with your Life. You can be random and scatter-brained, too! An abstract artist yourself, some of you may even deal with autism (of the high-functioning variety most likely) or dyslexia. Truth is, you’re this way because you’re inherently a dreamy creature. In fact, so dreamy you bring to Life people’s dreams and imaginations instead. There’s something otherworldly🧝🏻‍♀️/alien👽about you. So ethereal people think you should only exist in picture books and fairy tales (or manga LMAO).

You may not always be aware of this, but people want to immortalise you and make you a thing of their own. Artists secretly make you their Muse. Other people seem to always want to take pictures of and with you. Secret illustrations of you exist in people’s drafts~ Many people won’t be upfront about it (though they definitely show it) but they’re obsessed with you. Down bad, baby. Down, down on their knees so bad they’ll do anything to become your slaves—if you ever let them.

But you hardly let anybody get close to you, let alone enter your circle. You’re a natural born celebrity and you value your privacy. Some of you were literally born into fame or wealth, and you will eventually carve out a path of your own and continue to be famous. Some of you had past lives as famous and influential people (very likely to have South Node in Leo or 5th House, 10th House, or other placements to do with fame in a past life) and so being noticeably striking is a natural trait of yours. For that, you could get scouted to become a model, actress, idol, presenter, whatever really, and then you just naturally enter the scene.

Whatever the scale or industry may be, you were born for stardom—there’s just no other way around it, babe~🦋

your public image – VII The Chariot Rx

People see that you’re often unsure about your feelings, or that you do have a lot of feelings that seem to spill easily, and that sometimes you drown in your emotions. Some of you, you may even hide your feelings so well (you try), but people will still notice this about you. But your stories will be heard by everyone eventually.

How you came from a really harsh background emotionally and how you’ve managed to turn your past hardships into a magnificent Story that inspires. It wasn’t easy and you’re not always happy about how Life treated you in the past, but as long as your stories serve to save someone’s life, sanity, you’re cool with it. And people really appreciate you for that.

You are the kind of celeb that has a lot of sad, even tragic, stories (like YOSHIKI of X JAPAN) and your fans will want to dedicate a lot of love to you. These are the fans who say, ‘Oh, I wish I could just give them a warm hug right now.’ Your fans are hugely loyal and they talk about you to their friends and family, A LOT. They want to extend your stories to everyone who would listen.

Your stories are like honey gold, or unicorn fart, depends on what your preferences look like~ You can be glamorous, you can be amorous, you can be shy and sweet and sometimes out of control; but you’re eternally everyone’s dreamiest Muse~🪷

your impact/imprint – Page of Wands Rx

You, are, a, copycat manufacturer. Whether or not you try, whatever you do, everyone wants to copy. Name it all: fashion, hair, nails, voice, mannerism, but the coolest of all, your enterprise. Perhaps you write, in a specific dreamy/otherworldly fashion and there’s something ultra unique but touching about what you do, and now everyone tries to do the same because they know they’re gonna get attention that way.

It’s not an evil type of copycatting though; you’re just too original, too fresh, and people want to experiment with themselves by emulating you. In most cases, it’s also because you inspire people to level up themselves so they can become like you. But ngl, plenty of other celebs try to copy you with spite in their hearts, but you’re plenty aware of that, so you don’t really give a fuck. And your cold nonchalance makes you so enigmatic, elusive, that people can’t cease to speculate.

On top of that, no matter how hot or trendy you are, you’re not a sell-out. You won’t give in to corporate money if what it’s asking of you is a betrayal of your values. You have your own thing going anyway—you always will—so you’re not afraid of losing top-tier PR, lucrative contracts, expensive gifts, what have you. At the end of the day, only your true fans understand that your true Art as a celeb is the way you elevate people to the greater heights of their own potentials. You’re like Po in Kungfu Panda 3~🐼LMAO

LASTING LEGACY🔻💛

How A Biographer Would Write About You – Gold Alchemist (Roger Bacon)

How You’re Remembered by the People – Priestess of Illumination

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – A Soft Hero Holding A Blue Light

VIBE: Somewhere Near Marseilles by Utada Hikaru

your rise to celebrity – 9 of Wands

Your rise to fame is not an easy one. It ain’t a walk in the park the slightest bit. You worked really hard to be where you are, to have all the beautiful things you possess. You overcame a lot of challenges—mostly, challenges in your self-development. You weren’t always sure what you wanted to be when you grow up. You had vague, dreamy ideas but never were you certain because there were no signposts. You walked your Life with very few stars to guide your path on Earth.

You didn’t get told many times what your natural talents were, and those that you did showcase rarely got any praises. So you thought these abilities would never matter in the bigger world—that you would never be good enough at them to become a Star yourself. Growing up, you battled quite a lot with self-doubts and occasional self-loathing because you didn’t know if there would be a place for you in the world. You didn’t really know what you were put on Earth to do.

At some point in Life, there was a time you could only see the world as a battlefield and it was really painful to live in it. But after a painstaking process of healing yourself and making peace with the hardships that come with being Human, you triggered a miracle to stir. A shooting star of a very precious kind deep dived from the sky right into your bedroom, and suddenly, all your wishes were beginning to come alive one by one by one and one and on and on and so on.

Babe, your world fucking flipped~💃🏻

your public image – 2 of Pentacles

People see you as a bit of a tragic character; but they are enchanted. To them, you’re so fragile yet so inexplicably strong all by yourself. You’ve transformed yourself; gained your glow up in ALL areas of your Life. People are baffled at how such a soft creature could’ve endured the world’s hardest hardships yet remain so untainted. People want to know what you are made of and all the secrets to your courage, strong determination, as well as character. Most of all, how exactly did you flip your world? Ever curious are they, but no one could solve the mystery.

You are naturally soft and transparent, yet people can’t figure you out. There’s a wholeness of your spirit that feels too big to grasp. To a lot of people, your success story serves as inspiration. There’s something ultra Heroic in the way you’ve managed Life, and that alone becomes a lighthouse for others to believe in their own miracles as long as they continue to fight for what truly matters.

Your Light is so blindingly inspirational even if you feel like you’re not doing much. Your sheer existence gives people courage to fight for their Life. Those who are starting anew in Life are the ones who look up to you the most. But those whose hearts are too dark, those who are deeply scarred and afraid to do anything about their lives, those whose bandwidth of Reality is too different from yours, tend to hate you irrationally.

But truly it is because your softness, reminds them of what they have confused as their weakness.

your impact/imprint – XVII The Star

It’s pretty obvious, though unfortunate, that a lot of people find letting go extremely painful to do. Most people are often afraid of losing what’s familiar even when the familiar is no longer safe or comfortable. People are also often afraid of stepping into the unknown, journeying across unstable grounds, and that causes people to stay miserable with the known.

Something about you though, awakens a hidden courage in people. You’re that shooting star people are hoping to see on their balcony to wish their earnest dreams upon. People comment on your social media a lot, and even write beautiful handwritten fan mails, to tell you their feelings as well as gratitude. Even if they know you probably won’t read, they write anyway because when they write, it feels either like a catharsis for their pains or affirmation scripting for their wishes.

People just know that when they connect with your energy, something miraculous is bound to happen in their own Personal Reality. Not sure what that is; it is your personal touch of blue magic—the magic of profound self-alchemy~💠

LASTING LEGACY🔻❤️

How A Biographer Would Write About You – Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei)

How You’re Remembered by the People – Priestess of Purity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – A Decadent Éclair Amongst Empty Croissants

VIBE: Tokyo Flash by VAUNDY

your rise to celebrity – King of Cups

In this world where people are underestimated for having emotions (because hardheaded logic is prized higher) you’ve always prided yourself in prioritising listening to what your heart tells you. Your strong intuition knows your heart would never lead you astray. In fact, it really hasn’t. And you’re proud of that—more like, you’re glad you’ve always been true to yourself, really.

Sure being this way has led to occasional alienation, but what’s it to you when you’re the one building, creating, and enjoyably living an awesome Lyfe you’ve made yourself? You’re the one having all the fun, and dang, all the money. And you’re happy. You’re doing all these things you’re passionate about. Because you never stopped listening to your singular truth, you’ve cultivated a unique skill that sets you apart from everyone else in your trade. A refinement you’ve been doing since you were a kid.

Whether or not you become a public figure, actually, you’ll always be that eccentric that draws attention. People like to flock to see what new art/invention you’re working on. Many of them are genuinely in awe; quite many of them secretly jest. Little do they know—weird as you can be, you’re a compassionate person who has a big enough heart to accept that not everybody can accept you.

You get where most people are coming from and why they are essentially afraid to accept you. Your heart is so incredibly kind~🍃Psst, amongst your fans, many are simps!🤪

your public image – 7 of Pentacles Rx

You’re a pro at your Art that gets everybody talking but they know they can never emulate what you’re doing. People know it takes way too much originality, which they’re painfully aware they don’t have; and they know it takes courage to express a singularity like yours, and they’re again painfully aware that they’re too much of a coward to even begin.

Ngl, something in your originality sends some people shrieking into self-deprecation just because they can’t help but realise they’ve wasted many years of their lives not pursuing their very own original passions. People are wont to hypnotise themselves to believe that their mistakes/wrong steps are justified, right? Just to pacify their sorrows/regrets. But when they see what you do, how you live your Lyfe, their old potentials haunt them like that motherfucker from The Ring👻

You inspire a lot of young people but make sad many old people who have nearly completely lost touch with their inner child. But you also rejuvenate those older than you who are still working on their dreams~🐣If anything, your guts resemble theirs so much that they feel relieved to know they still have a place in this strange world🌏

your impact/imprint – Knight of Swords Rx

You’ve always lived with a special courage to be unique; refusing to abide by rules let alone oppressed by set laws. You can be reckless, but that’s like a breath of fresh air in a society that’s strangling its own citizens. But you’re never really a fighter nor a warrior; you’re an Artist through and through. You’re setting an example (or more like a possibility) to live differently—against, even—society’s standards and expectations.

You’re not immoral; you just believe human beings are supposed to be FREE but governments have been criminally oppressive. What even are those questions about theft and murder? Free people who are happy, content wouldn’t deliberately hurt another person. Oppressed citizens who are deprived of resources, and subsequently the ability to feel joy, kill and steal from each other. In your lifetime, as an attempt to be somewhat of an “activist”, you are likely to quote this from Utopia (1551) many, many times:

‘For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.’ – Sir Thomas More, ah also, Drew Barrymore in Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998)🤪

LASTING LEGACY🔻🧡

How A Biographer Would Write About You – Red Magus (Edward Kelly)

How You’re Remembered by the People – Priestess of Fertility

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

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cosmerelists · 4 months

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My Top 10 Favorite Cosmere Characters

Today is my birthday, so it's time for a purely self-indulgent birthday list! I thought I'd just share my own personal Top 10 Cosmere characters, which will just prove once and for all that I am SUCH a Stormlight girlie.

[Spoilers for Stormlight, Mistborn Era 1 & Era 2 and Shadows for Silence]

#10: TenSoon

I think I almost like TenSoon better in Era 2, when he's, like, an immortal quasi-divine figure who also happens to be a big, fluffy puppy. I like it when characters from different eras interact, so I was quite taken by having Wax meet TenSoon. I was also a fan of TenSoon back in the original series though, especially as his loyalty to Vin developed. And I'm one for a tragic sacrifice, so the kandra trying to kill themselves to avoid getting taken over by Ruin--that was a powerful moment (and I'm big fan of the fact that they did not, in fact, die. It was still a heroic sacrifice!).

#9: Silence

It's hard to say how much my love for Silence is part & parcel with my love for Threnody which, for whatever reason, is my favorite Cosmere planet. I like how Silence interacts with Threnody--the sheer horror and fatalism of living right on the edge of that forest, being a mother and a bounty hunter, keeping your dead grandmother in a back room...

#8: Adolin

I think Adolin is one of those characters I like because of his relationships with other characters. Especially Maya--I really love the relationship Adolin has with his sword, and when he and Maya fight back to back using the kata...that's one of my favorite scenes. I think he and Shallan are cute, and that he and Kaladin are cute, and that the three of them are a triad in their hearts. Also, and this will be a theme throughout this list, I love competent fighters and good fight sequences, so Adolin's duels really put him near the top for me.

#7: Navani

Rhythm of War really made me love Navani, I think. And not only because of that unhealthy yet somehow alluring relationship she had with Raboniel. We'll see throughout this list that I just like really competent characters, and Navani is such a smart and cool inventor of stuff, from watches to pain management devices to flying ships. And knowing what she went through with Gavilar and how she was made to think she wasn't smart or worthwhile only to have Dalinar and Raboniel recognize that yes she was smart and good at things and now she's cracked the code to make god-killing weapons and has bonded the Sibling and she's just so cool.

#6: Sazed

Honestly, I really love Sazed both before and after his ascension. I heard that people aren't always fans of Harmony, but I find him just as fascinating, if not more so--the idea of trying to balance such discordant shards in one being. But Sazed is, I think, my favorite character from the Mistborn Era 1 books. He is so sincere and smart and competent and deals with so much shit all the time. And I think he's doing his best.

#5: Jasnah

Like, Jasnah is just cool. She's so polished. So competent. So deadly. So smart. I think seeing Jasnah through Shallan's eyes for so long really made me respect and fear her as much as a reader can respect/fear a book character. That moment that she and Dalinar bonded over the book after Gavilar's death--very sweet. Kinda disappoited that we didn't get much with Jasnah & Elhokar--hard to remember they're siblings sometimes. In conclusion, I am both excited and scared to get more of her tragic backstory soon.

#4: Leshwi

Listen, I like cool fight sequences and enemies who bear a deep respect for each and duel a lot but never from a place of hatred. So, I was basically made to like Leshwi and how she interacts with Kaladin. But I also just like Leshwi's interactions with everyone. Leshwi and Moash? Awesome. "Hey you killed me once. Respect." Leshwi and Venli? Heck yeah. "I am slowly feeling you out and trying to see where your loyalties lie because they might intersect with mine." Once I am thrilled that Lewshi is joining the Listeners now. I want her to form a Radiant bond SO BAD.

#3: Steris

I seem to recall Brandon Sanderson talking about Steris as a character you don't like at first, but later you grow to love her. But if I remember correctly, I feel like I always liked Steris? Like yes, the marriage contract was a lot, but it was also so thorough and honest (and, honestly, funny). And then she just grew on me from there. As someone who makes a lot of lists, I also feel a kinship with Steris.

#2: Shallan

The first two times I read through the Stormlight Archives, I was all about Kaladin. But the third time, I really started to realize just how much I like the Shallan chapters. I think Shallan is a great character with a great arc--and I love the way she sort of grows into herself and her powers. Plus, I enjoy the slow reveal of how much she's already done--she already has a shardblade. And two spren bonds. And many murders under her belt. Quite the resume. And I really love Veil and Radiant, but especially Veil. The scene during the Oathbringer climax where she holds hand with her alters while constantly creating other alters to let them be killed legitimately makes me cry. She holds back a whole army by herself! She's amazing!

#1: Kaladin

Kaladin was my favorite character pretty much from the very moment I started reading Cosmere books (I started with Way of Kings), and he has never been dethroned in my heart. First, there's the simple fact that I love good fight scenes and fantasy heroics and people who gain the power they need at the very last second...and Kaladin does those things like every other chapter. But also, Kaladin is just such a good character. I love how he's not just a shallow fantasy hero--he has depression, and invents therapy, and struggles with guilt, and doesn't always make good choices. Sometimes the Kaladin chapters are tough--Rhythm of War was downright painful sometimes with just how much Kaladin was suffering--but even so. I will always look forward to the Kaladin parts the most, and like many, I deem Kaladin my #1 Cosmere Blorbo.

#Cosmere #Cosmerelists #TenSoon #Silence #Adolin #Navani #Sazed #Jasnah #Leshwi #Steris #Shallan #Kaladin

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yumeka-sxf · 4 months

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A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 21

*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*

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The next morning, Twilight muses to himself that there are still things in the world he doesn't understand, but nevertheless, a spy must overcome fear of the unknown. While his face and tone are dead serious, it's comical that the thing that caused him to burst into this heavy-handed inner monologue in the first place is none other than his misinterpretation of Anya's reactions the previous day. AniTrendz described the humor of this scene perfectly by stating that "Loid really spent all morning acting dramatic when he's just sad that his daughter called him lame."

And yes, he really was bothered by the fact that he's still having trouble understanding Anya's emotions. While her mental well-being is important for Operation Strix, he also cares very much how she views him as a father. Unfortunately for Twilight, this trend will continue – after a whole day of fun activities, he's devastated to see the scowl on Anya's face when they're having dinner that evening. And, once again, he blames himself and even thinks that Anya could possibly hate him.

As I've mentioned before, Twilight is always cool and confident when it comes to his spy missions, but whenever Yor or Anya are upset, he becomes a second-guessing nervous wreck! It's telling how frazzled he gets when trying to figure out what's going on in their minds versus anyone else. If Anya and Yor's happiness is tied to a mission, and he's always calm and collected about his other missions, why would he get so bent out of shape about them in particular? I think we all know the answer to that.

It's also important to note that the couple of days on the cruise are likely the longest amount of time Twilight has been alone with Anya, without having Yor for parenting support. If she were with him during all this, there's no doubt that her patience with Anya's antics and the encouraging words she always offers, would put his mind at ease. But without her around, there's no one to buffer his constant freak outs when trying to analyze the mind of a child. His anxiety gets so bad that Anya even starts to feel bad about it.

Meanwhile, the big showdown on the deck between Yor and the assassins has so far been the most gritty and violent scene in the series. Endo has stated in the fanbook that making Yor likable while also giving her a profession that involves killing people, was difficult (though I think he's done a stellar job!) A reoccurring theme in Spy x Family is how the tragedy of war has led to otherwise good people partaking in immoral acts, whether for survival or because they're brainwashed into thinking that the side they're on is the right and just one. It's not only Twilight and Yor, but other characters as well, such as Yuri, Sylvia, even the young terrorists from the doggy crisis arc, as well as the assassins on the cruise – the factions that they work for, the politics behind their decisions, and the jobs they're assigned to do, are not framed as heroic nor completely evil, only the aftermath of political turmoil that the next generation has to suffer for.

In Part 13, I mentioned an interview in the fanbook where Endo states that the Forgers should not be seen as virtuous role models…he doesn't think it's correct to only see their "nice family" side. Despite all the comedic antics in the series that sometimes stretch the veil of realism, one very realistic aspect is that none of the characters are depicted as "black and white," "heroes and villains," and their professions are portrayed as more tragic and ugly than "cool." This is in contrast to other shonen series, where the main protagonists are often portrayed as role models who fight for noble causes we can't help but support, while banishing only the most wicked of villains. And often these protagonists started out "normal" only to suddenly gain superpowers, opportunities to go on grand adventures, and have big battles against villains. But Twilight and Yor are the opposite. The series starts with them already having extraordinary abilities and exciting, dangerous jobs, so the end goal is instead for them to be able to attain a peaceful, normal life…because their professions aren't framed as wish-fulfilling but as heartbreaking, grim, and sometimes terrifying.

Twilight and Yor's professions, as well as those of pretty much every other character in Spy x Family, have a lot of gray areas on the moral compass. This is why having a balance of both fun, slice-of-life scenarios, and spy/political action and drama conflicts, brings out the true complexity of the characters. Twilight may lie and act cold as ice towards people during his missions, but because we get to know him while he's living as Loid Forger, we can see that he's doing it for a noble cause, and underneath all that callous calculating, he's a compassionate guy who cares about the feelings of others. Likewise, we see that when she's not killing people, Yor is a total sweetheart who doesn't have a mean bone in her body, is a loving mother to Anya, selfless sister to Yuri, and, like Twilight, she does what she does because she truly believes she's doing good in the world.

If we only see Twilight and Yor as a spy and assassin, our view of them could be skewed negatively. On the other hand, if we only see them as a "nice family," we would be doing exactly what Endo warned against in his interview. But because we get to see both sides of them, we're able to relate to them even more, which makes us want to root for them. Is the immorality of their jobs too much to be forgiven, or are they righteous people who are simply victims of a cold war? Obviously if you're a fan of the series like me, you're opt to lean towards the positive view that Twilight, Yor, as well as many of the other characters, have been sorely damaged by the post-war era that they live in, but the commendable things they do far outweigh the ugliness of their professions, so they deserve a happy ending. And that's really the main appeal of the series – with all the gray areas of morality, seeing whether they can truly live happily without lies is something to look forward to.

Continue to Part 22 ->

<- Return to Part 20

#spy x family #spy family #sxf #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #twiyor #sxf analysis #loidyor #loid x yor #sxf meta

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