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#could you call it angst
llserenell · 13 days
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“It starts with sorry”
Summary: Vox slips up, he finally finds himself confessing after all these years of rivalry. But, It starts with sorry, doesn't it?
Notes: this is an au made by me and my friend, @culssi! If you would like more information, please check out our shared blog, @rftvs-au. All the information, that we could think of, is pinned. :)
[You’re here] Next chapter—>
Love me dead:
“I gave you SO MUCH" Vox shouted in the other man's direction, an uncontrollable amount of rage coursing within him as he balled his fist and lunged at him, only just missing as Alastor dodged his attack with a well timed sidestep.
Why was he feeling this anger, this rage? What was the reason behind all these emotions? He felt so enraged, so betrayed. Even after all these years, these feelings refused to leave him.
"You gave me nothing." Alastor bit back with a cold expression, eyes narrowing as he sent a tendril towards Vox, only for the TV demon to teleport out of the way. "Nothing?" Vox practically chuckled out, "NOTHING?!" He repeated, his tone turning twisted and violent, "I gave up everything for you! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!" He shouted, his voice glitching and full of emotion as he brought his hands to his chest. "I..did everything i could for you, Alastor." Vox said, his voice threatening to break, "But that.." he chuckled, "that was never enough for you, was it?" Vox asked, looking up to meet the other man's gaze, his expression slightly crazed.
Nothing. Alastor said nothing, standing there with an unreadable expression; his smile remained plastered on his face, his eyes were staring coldly into Vox's, his hands were balled into fists. It was like he wanted to say something, but was holding himself back.
"It wasn't, was it?!" Vox snapped, grabbing hold of Alastor's jacket, "WAS IT?" He exclaimed angrily in hopes to get a response, but still, there was no reply.
For a brief moment, there was silence. Though for the few seconds it lasted, it felt like minutes, hours even! It was ample time to collect himself, to think over things, yet he didn't. He couldn't. All he could feel was this anger, this burning rage as he looked into the eyes of a man he once loved, once cared for. For a split second, Vox's gaze almost softened, his eyes wide as they searched Alastor's face.
“You..." Vox peered into Alastor's eyes, hoping to find a trace of regret, dreading to be heartbroken once more, but there was only a chilling, disdainful glare. "You never really cared for me," he realized, his voice betraying confusion, almost transforming the assertion into a plea for affirmation. "Did you?" he added, a bitter chuckle escaping him as he noticed Alastor's gaze soften slightly.
Electricity sparked from his hands, nails digging into his palms enough to draw blood. "After everything I did for you..." his voice was low, spoken through gritted teeth. "You NEVER CARED!!!" Vox glitched out, a hot pink substance leaking down his screen, eye spiraling as he lunged for Alastor, pinning him to the floor.
Looking down at Alastor, seeing him in such a frustrated state, pinned down like this, it filled Vox with pride, an overwhelming heat rushing down to his groin.
“Fuck, you little bitch…” Vox breathed out, chuckling as he wrapped his hands around Alastor’s neck, slowly digging his claws in.
“You never meant anything to me,” Alastor growled, struggling to get him off, eyebrows knitting together with annoyance. “You ARE nothing.”
Static emitted from his screen, glitching and buffering, his face growing cold as he bared his teeth, raising his fist in a blind fit of rage. "YOU FU-FU-FŲCK-CKING PRICK!!" Vox shouted, delivering hard blows to Alastor’s face repeatedly, immediately feeling a rush of satisfaction wash over him.
He loved the sadistic pleasure he derived from it, yet at the same time, he hated how much he enjoyed it—inflicting pain on someone he once cared for, someone he still cares for. But this rage, this hatred, still coursed through him.
“YOU MEANT THE WORLD TO ME!" His voice was filled with raw emotion, his anger escalating with each word.
Hands grabbed hold of Alastor’s jacket, hoisting him up to meet Vox’s enraged gaze, “YOU MEANT E-ÊVERY-EVERYTHING TO ME!” Vox screamed in Alastor’s face, bringing him to his feet and slamming him into a nearby wall. The only thing keeping him up were Vox’s hands, which digged painfully deep into his arms. 
His vision looked blurred, and he could feel the blood trickling down his face. His eyes widened and filled with panic as he was met with bright monitors staring down at him, giant claws digging through his sleeves and into his skin. “I LOVED YOU, ALASTOR!!” Vox shouted, “Vox-“ Alastor spoke with a shaky voice, a cough following shortly after, “I LOVE YOU!!” Vox interrupted, breathing heavily, slowly shifting out of his demon form, his grip on Alastor’s arms loosening as he came to a realisation.
He messed up.
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Yayyyy, I finished the first chapterrr!! I’m sorry for the bad and out of character writing, this is my first fanfic in this fandom and I haven’t watched the show (I’ve only seen some scenes)
There may be mistakes, and I apologise for that, you lot. I’m not the best at writing, but I’m hoping to improve so I can give you all the satisfaction of enjoyment.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please comment what you think, what you like, and ways I can improve! I’d love to see your thoughts!
Sorry, I’m terrible at writing 🥲
@venusforfran here’s the finished product, I hope you enjoyyy!!❤️❤️
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‘her dream ride is probably a jeep or something…’
my dream ride :
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blushweddinggowns · 11 months
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Idea expanded, Rockstar Eddie falling head over heels for Bartender Steve working in a high class club type of joint. He sees him working one night and thinks God damn, he's hot. I'm taking him home tonight.
Except bartender Steve has developed a significant distaste for celebrities and rich people in general because of getting cut off from his homophobic parents for coming out and the general bad way many have treated him at work whilst sloshed. But lucky for Eddie, Steve doesn't recognize him. And even though he started off in a trailer park, the fame has gone to his head a little and he asks Steve out with the full intention of getting into his pants and never seeing him again.
But oh no, would you look at that Steve isn't easy. And what Eddie thought would be a booty call ends up being a ten hour date around the city where he has more fun than he even thought was possible. Just from talking with Steve about anything and everything, flitting to parks and museums. And Eddie doesn't even realize until he's back at his hotel that they didn't even kiss.
And they go out more and more, and Eddie likes him more and more and he finds out where the rich people hate comes from. And it scares him. So he keeps lying. Like an idiot. And he tells Steve a fake last name, he tells him a fake job (which is only half fake because he did used to be a tattoo artist) and he rents an air bnb that he pretends is his own place. And the lies keep getting more elaborate to cover up more lies. And he keeps refusing to meet Steve's friends out of fear that they'll recognize him. And he really just drove himself into a corner here because he is absolutely in love with Steve at this point but how the fuck can you have a normal relationship when you are pretending to be someone else?
Turns out you can't, and Steve finds out the truth despite his efforts. But the twist is, he thinks it's fucking hilarious. After a normal period of What the fuck reaction time he gets over it. But never let's Eddie live it down.
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6/27 Edit: Welp, now there's a fic.
Two fics actually. The other is by KikiZ on ao3 which is great if you're not looking for an explicit fic! Because mine will be. It's also a bit more introspective than what I got going on, and also thus far, hella romantic.
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aerknight · 7 months
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@naffeclipse orcas beach themselves to hunt seals orca!eclipse beaches themself to hunt y/n :)
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factual-fantasy · 2 years
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(Part 1) 😈 I should have never been given the power to draw.
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mactavishsgfandwife · 12 days
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"candy" by paolo nutini is so simon riley coded
"i’m a heartless man at worst, babe and a helpless one at best"
"i know you got plenty to offer, baby but i guess i’ve taken quite enough" "well, i’m some stain there on your bedsheet you’re my diamond in the rough"
"darling, i’ll bathe your skin i’ll even wash your clothes just give me some candy before i go"
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underyourbedtoday · 2 months
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Captain John Price as your emotionally-unavailable-but-weirdly-devoted-to-you-but-not-enough boyfriend that feels more like a situationship than a relationship because he never placed you high enough
Anyway I think I might write this
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lilacfiresoul · 1 month
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slap, april 5 -- @jegulus-microfic -- 971 words
feat. regulus being distracted by james at quidditch. i mean, who can blame him?
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The only thing on Regulus’ mind is that Gryffindor cannot win this match. He doesn’t care if they win against Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw later on; it’s just that Regulus absolutely refuses to lose to James Potter of all people.
Lurking on the edge of the quidditch pitch, Regulus watches the game play out below him, scanning the area for any glimpse of that shiny gold ball whizzing through the air. But all he sees are the red and green colours of the quidditch uniforms as the Gryffindors and Slytherins dart about, accompanied by the blurs of whizzing bludgers, hit by beaters, and the quaffle passing between hands. No sign of the snitch at all.
Gritting his teeth, Regulus sits back on his broom, trying not to get irritated as Remus Lupin, his brother’s boyfriend and Potter’s friend, calls out another score for the Gryffindor team. He glances at Barty, who’s expression is thunderous, offended at the applause that erupts from the Gryffindor stands, beater bat clenched tight in his hands.
And then his eyes latch on Potter, who’s positively grinning, because Regulus has no doubt that he was the one to score that goal. Regulus wants to slap that smirk off his face. He hates it—how James practically radiates cockiness, arrogance, superiority; how a slight curve to his mouth in Regulus’ general direction makes Regulus lose his train of thought, simply as if the tracks his train was running on hadn’t been built yet; how, and he’s convinced about this, James does it more because he knows the effect it has on people.
Regulus, as much as he’d like to be, and tries so hard to be, is not immune to James Potter’s charm.
Barty’s teased him for it multiple times, from knocking the handle of his broom against Regulus’ if he’s been staring too long whilst they’re waiting for the field to be free, to making comments about James’ body under the quidditch uniforms, sly smile on his lips as Regulus glares at him. It’s uncalled for.
Speaking of Barty—below, he whacks a bludger with such force that the crack resonates throughout the pitch. It goes whizzing toward a Gryffindor chaser, who’s soaring determinedly toward the Slytherin goal post, clipping the back of her broom, causing her to drop the quaffle. A resounding cheer comes from the Slytherins.
“Looking for the snitch, Black?”
Startled, Regulus whips his head to the side, scowling when he notices James gliding up next to him. He flies so easily, almost as if it’s no effort for him. To be honest, Regulus thinks he flies the same, but seeing Potter do it, too, is annoying.
“Shouldn’t you be scoring, Potter?” he bites out, looking away before James can dazzle him with that stupid, idiotic, infuriatingly sexy smile.
“I think we’ve got it until control,” he says confidently. “You seem to be, unfortunately, on the losing side.”
Regulus rolls his eyes, snapping, “And you think that automatically means you’re going to win, do you?”
“You tell me,” comes James’ smug reply.
Still scowling, Regulus looks back at him over his shoulder, giving the Gryffindor chaser a once-over, before raising unimpressed eyes back to James’ face, where a—for fuck’s sake—smile is twitching against his lips. Against his permission, Regulus feels himself getting hot, a flush creeping up the back of his neck.
If he could strangle his broom, Regulus’ would be dead with how angrily he’s gripping it, his knuckles white like he’s holding on for dear life.
A loud cheer from the Slytherin stands eclipses Remus’ voice as he announces, “10 points to Slytherin.”
Regulus smiles triumphantly. “Well now we’re even.”
“For now,” James replies, and for a second, his gaze flicks only slightly to the right of Regulus’ ear, before it snaps back to his eyes. “You still haven’t found the snitch.”
“Neither has your seeker,” Regulus retorts. “So you’re really not as far ahead as you think—”
“Black!” someone screams, a loud, frustrated scream, and Regulus flinches, almost falling off his broom. He steadies himself just at the right time, breathing heavily. James, seeing Regulus is alright, straightens on his broom, as if he were going to try and grab Regulus before he fell.
Giving him a weird look, Regulus peers down to where Barty is, because it was his voice that was calling at him. “What?” he screams back.
His best friend is waving his arms frantically and pointing, and Regulus squints at him. If he starts to make fun of him and Potter together …
Then he hears it. A low, flickering sound, and immediately, he swerves to track it. Blazing like a small sun, Regulus spots the snitch hovering behind him on his right, its delicate filigree wings fluttering.
But just as he’s seen it, it’s off again, and Regulus stares after it, momentarily frozen. Until the red and gold robes of the Gryffindor seeker zooms past him, and he snarls, giving chase. He thinks he hears James laugh behind him, but he’s not sure.
“Looks like the two seekers have found the snitch,” Remus declares. “It’s going to be a tense battle to who wins the game. James, I think I speak for the whole of Gryffindor house when I say you should’ve distracted Regulus more.”
A roar of laughter meets Regulus’ ears from the stands, and his gaze darkens. He vows, as he and the Gryffindor seeker close in on the snitch, to never let James Potter’s smile distract him again, especially during a quidditch game.
Naturally, of course, it does. Even stars in space can’t compete against the light of the sun forever.
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ghostdrinkssoup · 11 months
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thinking about the first time will sees hannibal after three years. how the highly sophisticated man he remembers now looks wearier, his hair a little shorter, the lines in his face a little deeper. how he’s been degraded but still holds himself with pride and dignity, refusing to be humiliated. how will is a married man and really thought he was doing okay but knew he was kidding himself the moment he laid eyes on hannibal again because it doesn’t matter how much time passes he’s still horribly in love with him and never truly moved on. he knows he lost his heart the day hannibal gave himself up, and it didn’t start beating again until this moment, three years later. and the ache of it hurts so much more than it did before. if anything, the longer they’re separated the worse it gets
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agent-calivide · 8 months
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I don’t have the headspace for an entire new fic because I just started one bUT
Consider with me:
Handler has been getting progressively more and more worried about Phoenix, we see this in game. He’s gone from “oh haha, those escape pods are death traps!” To “Hold on agent- I’m putting on my wetsuit, I’ll be there, I’ll save you!”
So, story spin with me.
Handler watches as Phoenix is assigned to a mission, one much like all the others where it’s a multi-mission long assignment where Phoenix has to save the day. But things get more dangerous with each mission, not just more dangerous, more deadly. Handler has had to watch his agent “die” 3 times. He’s grieved them. He’s felt relief in their survival. He’s grown so attached to them.
And he’s watching them go into a dangerous mission and has to face the possibility of losing them again. But he can’t take it, he just can’t. So he pulls a couple strings, cashes in an IOU, and has Phoenix removed from the mission.
But Phoenix isn’t happy. Far from it actually. They’re so angry and upset, they’ve put so much time and energy into this mission, they almost caught up with the culprit, only to get pulled off at the last second?! How is that fair? The risks are part of the job, Handler knows that!
The two get into a massive fight, Phoenix arguing that Handler’s not their father and can’t just take them off missions he deems too dangerous, and Handler begging them to not make him lose them again. That he can’t handle mourning them again.
Phoenix just scoffs and storms off, and Handler has to just be left to his own devices…
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nonokoko13 · 8 months
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Me when the first coherent thought I have in the morning is that Grim was either abandoned or his biological parents died and the only family he has ever known are three ghosts everyone was afraid of so everybody left them alone for centuries and a human who doesn't belong who doesn't entirely fit there just like them so they were all alone until they found each other.
Ghosts tied to a space which is unsure whether they can leave or not and a human who may have somebody waiting them back home and may leave with no chance of return. Who can't take Grim with them because where they come from things such as fantasy creatures and magic only exist in fairytales so he'd either live hidden from the world or in danger of being treated as a monster and experimented on because when faced with what it's new and different the world reacts with anger and fear and want to control it and tear it apart until nothing it was before is left.
He doesn't know or understand this but MC does and that's why they would have to leave him behind. His dream of studying magic and be the greatest mage wouldn't come true on Earth, that's the reason they would tell him. It's true even though it's not the main reason why. But Grim would understand they just don't want to stay with him and prefer to leave and forget him because if they did love him they would stay.
Then again he could try to dig up in his origins and find his first family but what if time travel exists and MC from a previous timeline was who gave him the ribbon, his first gift and only possession before arriving at NRC? Meaning MC was the person his world revolved around before he even knew who they were and there was no other family he had.
Doubting the trouble squad has ever have a heart to heart conversation about Grim and MC's fates if or when they depart either because they have forgotten or pretend they aren't aware but deep down Ace and Deuce and all of MC friends know but prefer to keep ignoring it instead of confront their feelings. Grim and Malleus being the only ones who may have never think of it until the moment arrives nor accept it. Just like young children who believe their parents, their pillars, their everything that makes them feel safe, would always be there until death knocks at their door. Because MC have friends and a home in Twisted Wonderland and they need them so why would they leave?
They know MC keeps searching a way home and wondering if their loved ones misses them as much as they do and how much time have passed on their planet without knowing MC wishes they could have it all so they didn't have to choose between their previous family and the one they found there. And neither Grim or Malleus won't admit they know because thinking of it brings back the feeling of abandonment and losing everything that make them feel completed.
But the prince will have both Silver and Sebek and his grandmother for the rest of their lives with him once he returns home, people who was there from the beginning. Time to grow with them and accept they'll leave too. Everyone will graduate and go home and except special occasions each one will go their own path.
Grim will stay with somebody else but it won't be the same for him because he already had a family he wanted to keep together and failed to do so and without the dorm ghosts and MC the only thing left for him is the wound he carried before finding them opened once again that will remember him that nobody in this world can stay by his side forever so he'll stay and search a way to reunite with MC again and wonder if they miss him as much as he does and wishing MC have had everyone they loved in twst so they didn't have to choose or if they had to they had chosen him instead in the end and thinking of how all the future plans they shared and promises they made of growing old together were empty and the words that made him happy about how they loved him now hurt and they failed him and he failed to have everything he wanted and they left they left and he's thinking of them even after promising himself he wouldn't anymore a lie just like theirs and he's crying again and it hurts it hurts and
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badolmen · 4 months
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I wish we got more moments of the Walkers being Family like. The opening of “Brave New World” where Hesh says he let Logan sleep a bit longer because he figured he could use the rest set the bar too high for the rest of the campaign. You don’t really get anything like that line again - there’s the “Sin City” and “The Ghost Killer” cutscenes as well but those are both high tension, ‘holy shit don’t hurt my brother/I am dying son but I’m proud of you’ lines. And honestly Hesh’s “All or Nothing” Rorke File where he talks about his misplaced guilt after losing Elias…it’s almost a bit weird that he doesn’t reference how Logan is handling it at all (especially considering he was the one manhandled into shooting their father).
I guess the first unlockable Rorke File where Elias talks about taking the boys to the beach counts, and Hesh’s “Logan’s got my back, and I got his. He’s my brother.” but it just feels a bit stilted compared to the natural tenderness of the “Brave New World” opening.
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bisexualcherdegre · 6 months
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Loki & Mobius | Suburban Legends [+S2]
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playertwotails · 8 months
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hello, i saw an ask were someone asked you if you thought tails ever attempted to find his parents and it made me wonder if you ever thought of a scenario were tails father had no idea he even existed or he was led to believe by tails mother that she gave him away and he couldn't find him?
Okay I read when you sent it and been thinking about this one for the whole time. Sorry for the late reply but my sister had her baby so things have been busy.
But moving on from personal stuff, I love this idea but I'm gonna take it a step darker....what if Tails' mother told his father that Tails tragically died.
So going into my take of an AU for this here and it's gonna be long so putting it under the cut
So what if Tails' mother was actually from an influential family or something or they both are. But image is VERY important to her. So when she had Tails with his two...well..tails she was immediately not okay with this cause (spongebob mocking voice) "whAt WoulD oThEr peOpLe tHInK." So Tails' mom starts-a-plotting.
So while Tails is still a baby or like at least like a one year old, she goes on a trip with just her and Tails. So during this "trip" she tragically "loses" Tails and she goes crying home that he died in like a storm or an Eggman attack or something. In reality she legit just left him in a random forest on West Side Island.
So without a body Tails' father looks for him but tiny little guy in a big world and his mom purposely telling him the wrong area means 0% chance of finding baby Tails.
Years then go by and Tails and Sonic start gaining notoriety for their shenanigans and their adventures get back to Tails' parents sphere of influence.
Now obviously they can't 100% confirm that this Tails is their kid but like how many two tailed foxes can there be??? So Tails' father is pretty gun-ho of tracking down Tails just to like at least see if he's maybe their long lost kid, but his mom uses the excuse of she's still so "upset" and "traumatized" from losing him that she doesn't think they should go cause "What if it's not him?! She couldn't possibly handle loosing her baby a second time!!!" (cue fake tears worthy of an Emmy). But the whole time she's like internal sweating like "oh fuck what if he finds out that's our kid and I actually straight up abandoned him!!"
She manages to delay a trip for them to find and talk to Tails for a while but eventually Tails' father just goes and tries to track him down himself.
Side note 1) - I'm thinking that Tails' parents didn't have another kid because while his mom claims it's from the trauma of losing her first baby it's really because after her first kid came out with what she believes to be a deformity she's scared a second one would too. So no surprise siblings for Tails (though that would also be interesting to explore - I ain't got the brain capacity for that in this particular post)
Side note 2) - it would be interesting if during her stalling time she hires people to try and either straight up kill Tails or just someone who would fake the paternity tests to say Tails is not their kid. Maybe both???? You know what yeah why not both.
I feel like a hitman going after Tails would be interesting though cause I'm always a sucker for protective older brother Sonic and you can bet that it would be in overdrive if someone goes after Tails with the express purpose of killing him.
So while Sonic and Co. are fighting off hired hitman and trying to figure out who sent them, this random ass guy shows up claiming to possibly be Tails' father. Immediate alarm bells start going off in all their brains (double for Sonic if you include the SAT-AM cartoon episode where Eggman legit made fake parents claiming Tails is their lost kid for the express purpose of kidnapping him).
So they all start looking into this guy and actually do go through with a paternity test. And surprises of surprises when it come back positive. They then proceed to do it 5-8 more times with different Drs (or whoever does this idk) to make sure he ain't faking it somehow. But nope turns out that yep this is Tails' real dad who is saying he's been looking for him this whole time. (press X for doubt from Sonic and Tails)
But when Tails' father starts explaining his side of the story including where Tails' mother claims to have lost Tails. Tails and Sonic are immediately suspicious cause where his mother told his father he was lost is basically on the other side of the planet from West Side where Sonic found him.
They reiterate this to Tails father, who they are still suspicious of that's he's lying but they trying to figure out what's real and not from what he's saying. And the man is confused cause lookin at a map he also knows 2 + 2 ain't equaling 4 between their two stories.
Cue all them deciding to go to Tails' mother to see what she says from her side of things. The whole time still having to fight off various hitman cause they still coming.
They get to Tails' parents home town and Tails' mom immediately plays up the "oh woa is me, I don't want to get attached until I know he's really my baby." And at this point she's at the top of everyone's (but maybe the not the father's yet) list of being behind the hitman so no ones buying her bs.
So to try and catch her in her lie they ask to do the paternity tests with both of them (not telling her they've already run Tails' fathers multiple times with all positive results). And lo an behold, both come back negative. And she immediately tries to play the "oh how tragic you are not our kid, but best be on your way" but whoops the father reveals the like 6 positive tests he's already done so now she's caught in her own lie.
And idk where to go from here so if anyone want to "yes and" this post (or really any of mine) feel free. Just @ me so I can read them.
Hope you liked my take on this idea
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classificationhell · 1 month
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For some reason, I will really love the symbolism Of Lucifer locking one of his children up in a place kinda like the garden of Eden. Like he treasures you so much that the only cage he could imagine, trapping you in is essentially paradise. I’m really tempted to write a fic about it. Canonically I know he would never do this but I like to think of something forced his hand, he would.
Like idk heaven would only let him have one kid because they don’t want hell to get too strong so he hid you away so they couldn’t find you. Or maybe without Lilith around he just decides to be selfish and lock them away to protect them. Such a fun concept Mourning star would definitely do this.  
Omg yes, he would, especially the True Daughter Mourningstar! He'd want to create a little Eden where not even the Angels could reach them. This sounds like a fun idea, also if it wasn't Mourningstar, but an otherwise normal Lucifer there'd be a lot of angst potential there for being the one that was locked away and not allowed outside. I imagine that they would finally be revealed once they decide that they're making a stand against heaven. Lucifer himself may feel guilty about how he had to keep them sequestered away from the world because he feared what heaven might do if they found out about his second kid. Meanwhile, they have extreme social anxieties and insecurities, as well as possible agoraphobia due to not having been allowed out. Oooo would they even know about Charlie, and would Charlie even know about them? I imagine there'd be a lot of deceit going on to try and keep as many people as happy as possible, ooo in it that could be the main reason Lucifer felt so absent from Charlie's life as a youngster he's having to try and be father to two separate children. My only question would be where's Lillith in all this? Interesting idea you have there though ^^
Also, if you or anyone else wants to use any of my AUs or ideas as a jumping off point or just to borrow from you're more than welcome. All I ask is you cred classificationhell for inspiration, and on Ao3, I'd really love if it was tagged as inspired by one of the works so I could find it easily. I'd be very interested in anything anyone does for this.
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alicepao13 · 2 months
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Charlie: I'm going undercover as a prison inmate.
Joe: Have I told you today that this is the most harebrained thing you've ever thought of?
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