#dick is supposed to be about 10 years older than them btw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

creatureofmystry · 3 years

Text

MLB x DC Universe Headcannons

I just love the idea of MLB and DC (expecially Batfam cuz Mari is such a Wayne) being in the same universe and crossing over. So one night, I just had an idea overload of different ways the Marinette would know the batfam/be a part of the DC universe. And if any of my shitty ideas somehow inspire or prompt you, then please be my guest. 😊 _

1) “Ladybugs of Past and Present”

Hippolyta, Wonder Woman’s mother, was once a previous holder of the ladybug miraculous. When Fu activated the miraculous and put them in circulation, Hippolyta could feel its magic waking back up. Knowing there must a reason for it to be out, she sent a message to her daughter. Diana searched, finding Marinette and Adrien as the present holders of the ladybug and cat miraculous. She vouched and brought them into the Young Justice program while they also made their own team, Project: Zodiac (or something like that).

[Sometime when Diana takes Marinette to meet Hippolyta]

“Great Hera, Tikki, you have not aged a day” -Hippolyta, cause she does know how to make joke.

“And I would say the same to you” -Tikki

“Mother, you can make a laugh?” -Wonder Woman, honestly a bit confused cause her mom have never not been serious before.

And Marinette is just speechless cause she’s starstruck meeting Wonder Woman’s mom AND a previous Ladybug holder.

2) “Rockstar Niece”

Jagged Stone is Marinette’s Sweet Uncle J. During the summers, Jagged Stone would take Mari with him on tour. HIs summer tours are throughout America, so Mari gets to sightsee the country. Jagged’s first tour that he gets to take Mari on (5-ish), he’s also booked for the annual (for whatever reason) Wayne Summer Gala. When Marinette meets the Waynes, they are so enamoured (Dick and Tim couldn’t help it) that they tell Jagged he’s always invited as a guest, Mari of course being added to the permanent guest list too. About 6 years later, Mari is practically adopted, spending the first half of her summers with Jagged, going to the Wayne Gala, then spending the rest of her summer with the Waynes. Overtime, she figured out the secrets of the family and was there to welcome Jason back from the dead (when that happens). Anyways, now 11(-ish?) Mari meets Damian and the two become good friends… after an… impressionable first meeting.

“Tch, let me guess, you’re another one of father’s adopted strays” -Dami

“YOU MUST BE DAMIAN!!! DICK TOLD ME ABOUT YOU!!” -Marinette, who just ignores what he said for a hug.

“hiiiiiiiiissssssss” -Dami, touchy with touch

“...” sprays water in his face since he decided to act like a cat.

“I say, Master Bruce, the children are getting along quite well” -Alfred

3) “Pen Pals”

Jon Kent and Marinette Dupain-Cheng are part of an international pen-pal program, starting when they were very young (maybe like 4 or 5-ish, super super young) where they told each other everything (Jon can’t just say that his older bro is a clone made from Superman and Lex Luthor’s DNA, or that his dad is Superman, or that his best friend is Robin, but yea. Lois and Clark probably proofread his stuff until he’s like 9) with pictures and everything. When they’re old enough to get phones & stuff, they call, text and vid-chat along with their letters (love without blood). When Mari is maybe 9-11 (somewhere around there) she starts flying over during the summers to hangout with Jon (and his friends and big brother). While there, she meets Kon, Bat fam, and Clark (some who she already knew, some who she didn’t) & lightly hints that she knows who all they are once she figures it out (it didn’t take her long to do so).

Now whenever she visits and is at Wayne Manor (Jon likes to have sleepovers practically every weekend) while they’re on patrol, Mari subtly messes with their minds (super subtle, they’re the world’s best detectives after all) until they finally look through the cams and see Mari giving them one of those smiles (those shit-grinning cause it’s just so hilarious how it’s gone on for so long) & and a playful wink.

[5 seconds later]

“Mari!” “Pixie-pop!” “Angel!” “Teacup!”

“Seriously, am I the only one with a normal nickname for her?” -Tim

“Ms. Marinette would like to inform you that ‘it took you long enough’” -Alfred (who so knows that the girl has been playing them since the third night she stayed at the Wayne’s)

“Where are my adoption papers?” -Bruce (who is seriously adopting any talented black-haired child)

4) “Mari and Mar’i”

When Mar’i is young, Dick and Kori take her with them to see Paris (btw, this would be during the winter). They’re strolling along through a park and lose track of Mar’i who finds Marinette (9-10 ish). Marinette comforts and distracts Mar’i while noticing the young(er) girl is Tameranian (her hair is very warm and she’s wearing significantly less layers than should be worn for a human of that age during the winter, plus that sun-kissed skin tone. She’s seen Kori in her fashion magazines (and, from time to time, on the news as an ambassador) so she easily make the connections). Dick and Kori finally spot Mar’i with Mari who introduces herself to them. Mar’i asks if she can see her “Auntinette” again and Marinette just goes “if your parents are okay with it.” Dick and Kori are totally cool with it (not many are willing to watch her and have the time to do it) so they ask Marinette if she can babysit Mar’i whenever (with good pay of course) if she’s up to it (cause she’s still pretty young). Marinette can’t say no to Mar’i’s babydoll eyes (and she’s so much easier compared to Manon, who’s only 2 rn), so of course, she says yes.

Now Marinette is Mar’is official babysitter and sees Mar’i often whenever her parents drop her off (using zeta tubes to quickly get to Paris and back). Marinette gets treated like an honorary Wayne (cause she’s the most responsible) and gets invited to their family stuff (w/ travel pay taken care of, of course). It doesn’t take her long to realize the fact that she babysits Bruce Wayne’s & BATMAN’S granddaughter, but of course, being the responsible one she is, keeps the secret… while also playing with them via Mar’i.

[One Day]

After Marinette leaves for her plane…

“Uncle Dami!”

“Yes, Spawn?”

“Auntinette said to tell you after she left that Robin’s sut needs a major upgrade & that you look like a traffic light… whatever that’s supposed to mean.”

[Another Day]

“Uncle Jay!”

“What’s up kid?’

“Auntinette said that to let you know that Red Hood doesn’t make any sense ‘cause Red Hood wears a helmet. Not a hood.”

[The next time]

“Uncle Tim!”

Yawn. “yea?”

“Auntie told me to give you this” (pulls out super caffeinated coffee) “and that Red Robin’s cowl is a menace to all things fashion”

[Again…]

“Daddy!”

“Yes, Starshine?”

“Auntienette said she’s proud of Nightwing’s costume ‘cause it’s one of the only in the batfam that isn’t an astro-city to the fashion society.”

5) “Marinette, the one who’s always getting chosen”

Before Mari became (becomes(?)) LB, she comes across a different powerful piece of jewelry, from a different order of guardians where her will of mind is not only her shield from being akumatized, but it is also what drives her powers. That’s right, Mari walks past a flea market and activates a GL ring. The guardians pick up on this activity and send Hal (it is his sector) to check it out. Hal finds the ring with Mari but it still needs the light of a GL to charge and fully work.

[During the explanation]

“Look, kid-”

“Marinette.”

“Look, kid, I just need to know why you have that ring.”

“You think I know? I was just walking through the market and all of a sudden, this possessed ring, if that’s even what this is, started following me, then zipped in front of my face til i held my hand up so it can put itself on my finger.”

“Kid-”

“It’s MARINETTE. Get it wrong one more time and you’ll see why I don’t need a possessed piece of alien jewelry.” -Marinette, making sure you get her name right. “Besides, if I stole it, I would remember. I’m a klepto” -Marinette, probably holding his ring too at this point.

Hal obviously doesn’t want the wrath of the Dupain-Chengs (just the kid Marinette scares him enough), so he tells the guardians that JL will take care of most of Mari’s training (once they get her a lamp for her ring, of course) & has her take part in training at Mt. Justice with the Young Justice team and special training with the Bats. Mari does all this under the guise of an international student exchange program for Mari to stay with the Waynes (not yet knowing that it’s the bat fam) and attends G.A. Mari doesn’t do much, but it takes her 24-36 hours to know who EVERYONE is.

[the next week after settling in]

“Hey, Mars,” -Dick, in his Nightwing gear

“Hey, Di-is the GREATEST SHOW!” -Mari, changing the subject(… not really)

“How long did it take you?”

“Not as long as the Kryptonians…” -Mari, going off into a tangent (still trying to change the subject”

[When Marinette meets Tikki]

Back in Paris:

“Sooo… I’m getting powerful jewelry that gives me powers and a suit, needs to be recharged, and comes from some Order of the Guardians? What’s the difference between you and my ring?” -Marinette, who at this point is very confused as to why she keeps getting picked on for this kind of stuff.

“One’s alien, one’s magic” -Tikki, hoping Mari will end it there & lowkey hates that the GL Corp. got to her first.

“They’re both non-human made energy sources” -Mari, cause once you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it all before.

“You can’t heal the Akuma without the miraculous, and there are more than just rings. Yours are earrings, there are hair clips, bracelets, necklaces and more” -Tikki, after having a minute to think

“Fine, only because you said they’re the only way to heal the, what was it again, akuma?”

6) “Their Unofficial Official Barista”

Part of Tim’s job as Co-CEO, is to make sure all the branches are running smoothly, sometimes that means he has to fly abroad to manually check in. Tim goes to Paris to check on the W.E. Paris branch. He goes to a nearby Patisserie (Tom and Sabine’s) to see a young Marinette (somewhere from 8-11) drawing in her sketchbook at the counter. She explains that her parents are at a catering event, but she’s there to man the little bakery. Tim asks for a super caffeinated coffee and Marinette makes it with ease, claiming it was on the house with how bad he looks (and how much sleep the man clearly needs). Tim begs for her knowledge and asks if she can teach his butler. Mari’s willing to show him the next time he comes, so he gets the whole fam to go (viz tubes so they don’t waste time) maybe a week later. Everyone gets their own drink (plus a free pastries) and Marinette teaches Alfred her coffee, but it’s just not the same so Tim, using the tubes, goes to get coffee from the girl whenever he can.

Mari is horrible at getting up on time (the life of an insomniac, never getting to sleep even if you want and then barely waking up on time) that she is up super early, makes Tim his coffee (plus a croissant) and tries to go back to sleep (making her inevitably late). Tim would walk up to the pick-up counter where his cup and to-go bag is while Marinette runs out of the house to get to school. Eventually, the rest of the Batfam (as well as the Laegue, TT, and YJ) frequent the place, slowly becoming (Dami too) Mari hides it, but she knew all the batfam the first day they came and she showed Alfred how to make the coffee. When the others start making more regular appearances, she learns the identities of YJ team, WW, GLs, and others. Obviously when LB and CN appear as heroes with HM as their villain, they immediately reach out to help. Because 1. Batfam clearly notices that it’s Mari and they sure as heck won’t let her deal with that by herself, and 2. The JL is worrying too much about their favorite barista (even though she’s not really one), especially with the Gigantitan scare. So, of course LB & CN (can’t make him bad everytime) get inducted into YJ.

[After Ladybug finishes defeating Gigantitan and detransforms]

“Bean! Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” -Tim, being an even more protective older brother than Dick, which shouldn’t be possible

“Yes, I promise. I’m fine” -Marinette, who just accepts the fact that she’s adopted an older brother (and his famliy)

“Tube over, we’ll have Alfred make sure” -Dick, already pulling out the medical supplies for Alfred.

“I-”

“You shouldn’t worry your brothers like that, Marinette. Now come over so Alfred can clear you,” -Bruce, who just happens to overhear the conversation

“I’m sorry, Miss Marinette, they are very adamant that you’re in pitch perfect health before going out again,” -Alfred, who’s not actually sorry

“Fine” -Marinette, accepting her fate of her adopted, protective family.

7) “Thicker Than the Blood We’ve Shed”

Why is Marinette so freakishly strong? Because she was trained to be. Before she could even talk, Mari was taught to be an assassin. She and Damian were frenemies, both competing for top spot as best in the League (of Assassins). They often spared together and became rivals who pushed each other (which sounds great in that context if you forget about the fact that they’re killing people and turning it into a competition). When Damian’s care is turned over to Batsy, Mari also comes along for the ride. She implements herself into Dami’s classes at G.A. & watches him from afar. (Damian, not being an idiot, of course knows all this and knows that it’s probably for Mari to give a report to Talia.) When he becomes Robin, Mari obviously knows, but waits to see if anything drastic would happen (his care was given to the Batfam, they had already expected this to happen.) She then heard word of the bounty Talia put on Damian’s head. Marinette knew there wouldn’t be much she could do to help, but she ave Dami a warning about the upcoming situation before fleeing the country.

From there she got to France, changed her name (it wasn’t originally Marinette, it was Shénqí, chinese for miraculous/magical (or something else if you want)), was adopted by Tom & Sabine, and left her time in the League in the past. When she received Tikki, she didn’t want to be a hero because she didn’t think she deserved it after her up-bringing. Eventually, she did become LB (being a trained assassin does help with lucky charms, considering she was taught how to kill with basically every and anything), and life was good for her. Then Rossi came.

[Gotham field trip]

While at Wayne Tower…

“How idiotic are they?” -Damian, who after reuniting with his long-lost sister-from-a-different-mister (yes, Marinette was able to convince him to say it once), can’t understand the stupidity she has to deal with.

“Are you Robin?” -Mari, who is too tired, so just goes straight into the analogy

“Yes.” -Obvious and simply is.

“Exactly” -Mari, who can’t even put a limit to the amount of thought the one brain cell the class shares doesn’t use. I mean please, the so-called “reporter” believed that the first cosplayer she saw was the actual LB when they don’t even have the same hair! And let’s not forget the origins arc, where LB’s first citizen save was Chloe.

294 notes · View notes

mrsluttystark · 4 years

Text

Repeat After Me Part 2

Part 1

You guys have no idea how much it meant to me that part 1 was so well received. Thank you from the bottom of my little starker heart!

Tags: nff, age difference, former teacher/student, mention of daddy kink, mention of choking

Word count: 3.1k

Read below the cut

Peter wakes up five minutes before his alarm, like he always does. He absolutely hates the shrill screech of it. His bed creaks and groans as he sits up and swings his legs over the side. Suddenly, the springs that had previously been holding him up collapse under him, making him yelp in surprise. Peter made a mental note that maybe it was time for a new bed, he’d been holding on to the rickety twin mattress he had all his childhood since it was the only thing he had left from May’s.

He usually went into the lab on Saturdays, even though he was supposed to be off during the weekend. It’s not like he has plans or anything, but he guesses he could shift his schedule around a little to go mattress shopping.

His arm darts out like clockwork and taps his screen to turn the alarm off before his phone could utter the first mind melting ring. Peter runs a hand through his hair to brush some stray curls out of his face and stretches before getting out of bed to do his morning routine.

It’s not until Peter sits down at his two-seater dining table with a bowl of captain crunch berries, two pieces of toast, and a cup of earl gray tea, does he finally check his phone.

The spoon is barely out of his mouth when he sees the notifications. Eyes wide, he chokes on the cereal trying to force its half chewed self down his throat. He can taste the oat milk is his nose and it is not good.

Mr. Stark accepted his friend request and messaged him? Peter looked around his apartment, skeptical. Was he dreaming? Was this one of those life-like dreams where he gets ready for the day then wakes up and has to do it all over again? He looked down at his arm, should he pinch himself? No, Peter, that’s stupid.

He shook his head and looked at his phone again, opening the Messenger app.

Hey, Kid.

Shit, he was toast. Collecting himself, Peter took a deep breath to prepare himself for a conversation with his former high school teacher (that he may or may not want to fuck him senseless and cuddle afterward). He racked his brain thinking about how to approach this. Should he be bold?

Hi, Daddy. Please cum down my throat? Yeah...that might be too bold.

Hello, Mr. Stark. I humbly thank you for accepting my friend request. Ugh, too weird.

He’s overthinking it, he knows. Peter types out and deletes maybe five more messages before he finally settles on:

09:10 am

Hi, Mr. Stark. It’s Peter.

09:11 am

Parker.

Peter threw his phone down on the table and put his head in his hands, bowl of cereal soggy and forgotten. He made a face at it and pushed the bowl away, pulling his toast closer. He took bites of a slice distractedly and washed it down with some tea. He’d regret not eating a proper breakfast later, but right now his appetite was replaced with a turning feeling that he couldn’t quite place. His phone vibrates on the table, startling him from his thoughts.

From Tony Stark 09:22 am

Yeah, Peter. I did read your name on your profile.

09:23 am

Right. Sorry.

From Tony Stark 09:23 am

Don’t worry about it, Kid. Just pokin’ fun.

09:24 am

(sweating emoji)

Thanks for accepting my friend request btw, Mr. Stark.

From Tony Stark 09:26 am

No big deal, thanks for the request, it’s been a while.

And Tony is fine, you’re not my student anymore, Pete.

09:26 am

Yeah, okay. Tony. I can do that

So you remember me?

From Tony Stark 09:27 am

I remember all my students

09:27 am

Really???

From Tony Stark 09:28 am

No, not really lol

But I do remember you, you were a lot skinnier back then.

09:30 am

(eye roll emoji) And you were a lot younger

From Tony Stark 09:31 am

Ouch, that was uncalled for

09:32 am

You asked for it

So what have you been up to?

From Tony Stark 09:34 am

I’m a mechanical engineer now, quit teaching a few years ago. What about you?

09:35 am

That’s awesome! You were way too smart to be a teacher.

I’m a research chemist

From Tony Stark 09:38 am

Thanks, kid.

That’s about where I’d thought you’d end up, as smart as you are.

09:40 am

Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Stark

Tony*

Sorry.

From Tony Stark 09:40 am

Everywhere?

09:41 am

Everywhere.

From Tony Stark 09:50 am

Say, Pete. I don’t actually have a habit of checking this app and I’m about to head out of the house for the day. I’d like to continue this conversation, so here’s my number if you wanna text me [hidden contact information].

No pressure of course.

From Tony Stark 09:53 am

Peter?

New Message

To: Tony

You know who I am.

From: Tony

Had me there for a second kid.

I’m about to drive, I’ll text you in a bit.

Peter put his phone down for the first time in almost an hour, eyes straining to refocus after staring at his screen intensely for so long. His heart was pounding in his chest and his cheeks were starting to ache from smiling. Had that really happened? Peter brought a hand up to rub at his jaw, still in a daze. He was finding it very hard to believe that this wasn’t some elaborate dream because there is absolutely no way that this could’ve happened in real life. Talk about a glitch in the simulation.

He really got Tony Stark’s phone number, and he didn’t even have to ask for it!

Peter scoffed in disbelief, no fucking way! He opened the Facebook app again and went to Tony’s profile. Turns out there wasn’t much else on it, he had a total of 3 profile pictures and less than 100 friends, none of which were other students and only a few midtown teachers. So, he either was a very private person or he didn’t use Facebook at all. And if it was the latter (or both for that matter), why did he accept Peter’s friend request in the first place?

Peter decided not to think about it right now.

He went to his profile pictures and glanced at the current one he already studied last night. The previous one was just the Guns N’ Roses album cover for Appetite for Destruction. Classic Rock fan, noted. His first profile picture, though, was an absolute masterpiece. Tony looked to be on a beach somewhere, his hair was wet and messy from the clear blue salt water. Peter wanted to run his tongue over every inch of the olive toned skin exposed to the sun. His smile was radiant, framed by neatly trimmed facial hair, with thick, dark eyebrows peeking over his sunglasses. Swung low on his hips right below a toned stomach were hot rod red swim shorts that stopped in the middle of his thigh, showing off his tan legs dusted with dark hair.

Peter tried not to look, he really did, but he could not stop his eyes from landing on the older man’s crotch. And he was not disappointed. There, curving onto his thigh, was a long, thick unmistakable dick print. Peter’s mouth watered at the sight as his own cock stirred with interest.

Fuck. He wondered how big he really was in person. How far he could take it down his throat. He wanted to know how it would feel to be stretched and filled by Tony’s cock.

Scooting his chair back abruptly, Peter shot up off of it. His hard-on tenting almost painfully in his pajama pants and it was starting to create a wet spot. Mattress shopping can wait, Peter needed to cum, like, yesterday.

He rushes to his room and yanks the drawer of his night stand open, revealing a wooden box. Peter unlatches the box and grabs a bottle of lube and his veiny lifelike vibrating dildo with a suction cup right behind the silicone balls from his small collection. This one was by far his favorite, it’s eight inches long and he loved feeling the veins and the girth of it filling him up.

Peter lays a towel down on his bed and climbs to the middle, carefully avoiding the new dent in the mattress. He bunches up the pillows behind his back so he’s laying at an incline, then starts rubbing himself over his pajama pants while he uncaps the lube and squeezes some onto his fingertips. Clumsily, he pulls and shimmies his pants down his hips with his left hand, breath hitching when his heated erection makes contact with the cool air in his apartment. It lands with a light smack against his abs and Peter tugs his shirt up and under his chin. Kicking his pants off his bed, Peter spreads his legs. He can feel his hole puckering in anticipation of being used.

His left hand begins lightly skimming his torso, feeling his abs contract under his finger tips. Bringing them higher, he rubs across his chest, pinching his nipples softly. Peter rubs the lube between his thumb and forefinger to warm it up, then starts rubbing the tight ring of muscle in circles, making his cock jump.

Once he’s coated, he sinks a finger in slowly to coax himself open. His left hand continues caressing his body, skirting across the area right above his cock. Peter lets out a plethora of whines and pants, eyes screwed shut at the feeling. The image of Tony’s face urging him to take another finger.

He knows Tony’s fingers would be thicker, stretching him wider than Peter ever could with his own. The younger man hoped his former teacher would be able to handle him the way he wanted. Peter imagined large, strong hands encircling his throat while the other gripped hard on his hips while he took him.

Three of his fingers are buried deep in himself before he even touches his neglected, leaking cock. His left hand comes to collect the precum pooling at the head and dribbling down his shaft, allowing his hand to glide along his hot skin. He strokes himself lazily as he pulls his fingers out and reaches for the dildo. Uncapping the lube again he slicks up the silicone and brings it to his open, waiting hole.

Pulling his left hand off of his cock, Peter grabs one of the pillows and stuffs it under the small of his back.

He imagines Tony looking down at him with dark, analytical eyes, watching Peters every movement. The rise and fall of his chest, his heaving breaths. The way Peter keens when he’s stretched like he longs for the sting of it. Would he fuck into him slowly or would he seath himself in one smooth, quick stroke?

Peter chooses the latter.

He cries out as he pushes the dildo balls deep into his ass without pause. The pain from the stretch mixes deliciously with pleasure. Sweat beading on his forehead has Peter’s curls sticking wetly to his skin. His entire body is covered in a thin sheen of it.

The young man turns onto his left side, dildo still deep inside him. Peter reaches around his back with his right hand and grips the bottom of the suction cup. He sighs, easing the dildo out slowly before pressing the button at the base of the shaft to turn on the vibration and ramming it into himself once more.

Tony would be taking him from behind, a long arm encircling Peter’s body, hand coming to grip him at the base of his neck, right above his collarbone so that he could pull the younger man down and onto his thick cock while he fucks up into him.

Peter continued to fuck himself roughly with the dildo while he thought of Tony’s hard body doing it to him instead. He’d whisper dirty things in Peter’s ear while he fucked him. Tell him that he’s such a good little slut for his teacher. Peter whined at the thought, he’d love it if Tony let him call him Mr. Stark in bed.

He starts stroking his cock faster, feeling his orgasm build in the pit of his stomach. His right arm is starting to get tired from fucking the dildo into his ass for so long, he’s gotta cum soon.

Peter’s eyes fly open when he hears his phone vibrate through the thrumming in his ears. It’s a text from Tony.

How’s my favorite student? Miss me?

That does it. Peter’s entire body jolts as he cums all over his hand and the towel he laid on the bed, a high whine caught in his throat.

He’s still trying to catch his breath a few minutes later, after he eases the dildo out and places it on the towel. He wipes his hand off on it as well before he grabs his phone. He definitely needs a shower now. Then he’ll go to the mall.

To: Tony

Don’t flatter yourself

To: Tony

Maybe a little

Tony can’t help but smile at his phone, he might have been a little too eager with the message, typing it up as soon as he put his car in park. The easy banter going on between him and Peter was refreshing. Tony couldn’t remember the last time he felt genuinely excited to talk to someone, let alone text.

As the conversation kept flowing while Tony picked up his dry cleaning, he could only deduce that it was because they were nearly equal on an intellectual level. It may have helped that Peter was easy on the eyes as well.

They talked about their projects at work and the research behind it, what it was like at Columbia for Peter, and how MIT had been to Tony. The older man made a mental note to ask where Peter worked at a later date, maybe he could recruit him. He learned that Peter’s favorite colors were blue and red. That he hated horror movies but watched them anyway just to spite himself. He loved rom-coms and (surprise, surprise) sci-fi movies. He couldn’t cook to save his life, Tony assured him he could give him lessons if he wanted, he could make a mean Chicken Piccata.

Tony couldn’t even bring himself to feel guilty about it at all. The conversation was innocent and Tony was a flirt by nature, Pepper never had a problem with it. If anything, this thing with Peter was just a budding friendship. The universe knows Tony needed someone to talk to.

Around noon, Tony’s stomach started to grumble, not surprising considering the hearty breakfast of black coffee he had this morning. Peter mentioned earlier that he’d been craving Gyros, and that didn’t sound half bad right about now. He was a few blocks away from the mall anyway.

From: Peter

Here’s a contact picture, in case you needed one...

[see attachment]

The picture Peter sent was absolutely adorable. His bangs fell over his forehead, slightly parted to the side so it wasn’t completely covered. Tony felt utterly entranced by the younger man’s smile and the way his left eyebrow looked like he’d slept with his face buried in a pillow. He was wearing a T-Shirt with a science pun on it, as if the kid couldn’t be any dorkier. Tony loved it.

To: Peter

Is that a sly way of getting me to send you a selfie back?

Cute shirt by the way, where ya headed?

From: Peter

Maybe...did it work?

I’m going shopping for a new mattress, old one crapped out on me.

To: Peter

Here, since you asked so nicely

[see attachment]

From: Peter

Oof, you can just delete mine. You just made me go from a solid 6 to like a 2

To: Peter

Hey, give yourself some credit, you’re definitely at least a 5

KIDDING, I’d rate you a solid 9, kid. Just because there’s always room for improvement

From Peter:

I would just like to know who gave you the right to be so sassy and RUDE

To: Peter

Definitely my narcissistic ego

No, but seriously Pete, you’re stunning. Don’t listen to the old guy

From: Peter

Pls you’re not that old, Tony.

To: Peter

A man after my own heart. Thanks, kid.

From: Peter

Anytime :-)

You’re more like my friend’s hot dad if anything

To: Peter

Little shit.

From Peter:

;-)

Tony shook his head fondly and stuffed his phone in his pocket as he entered the mall, looking around for something indicating what direction the food court was in. He hadn’t been to this mall in a while, he admits since he’s been making more money it’s kept him from coming and eating the fast food they had here. So he followed the signs until he got to the food court, and noticed there were still quite a few tables open for him to sit and eat at. He made a point to stay as far away from the family with three screaming children as possible.

He scanned the choices until he found somewhere that had gyros and went to go stand in line. The menu wasn’t too extensive, he could either get a gyro platter or a falafel platter, and he already knew what he was here for. His eyes fell from the menu to the person in front of him. Not to be a creep, he’s only human, but he had a fantastic ass. A perfect little bubble butt.

The man was a little shorter than him, he had a trim waist that opened up to broad shoulders not bigger than Tony’s. Incredible figure. He’s probably a dancer or a marathon runner. He also noticed this man had brown curls. That made him snort softly to himself, he either had a type or Peter just invaded his mind in a short amount of time. It could be either, honestly.

His eyes dropped to the phrase printed on the back of his shirt.

Never trust an atom, they make up everything

Ha. Peter would love that shirt.

Wait.

Peter has that shirt. It’s the one he was wearing in his selfie.

“Peter?”

The man in front of him whirled around to look at him with a puzzled expression. Tony suddenly found himself unable to move or say another word. He was instantly captivated by doe eyes and one of the prettiest faces he’d seen in a long time.

He watched his confusion turn into realization and then disbelief and dare he say: panic.

“Tony?”

@sweetqueen449, @slut-for-starker, @dim-ships-johnlock, @starkerhowlter, @sthefystarkersworld, @crazycocococonut, @bris-sins, @delicateavenuenacho, @ironspiderstarker, @katzenbaby1, @spider-iron-man, @rebel13lion39, @twokinkybeans, @frenchfrostpudding, @cherrygoldlove, @silkystarkk, @icandoakickflip, @irondaddio, @briesb1tch

creds to @problemchildnoonewanted for some of the messages in the beginning

#starker #sluttystark stuff #starker fic #starker au #ironspider #tony stark x peter parker #tony stark/peter parker #peter parker x tony stark #Peter Parker/Tony Stark

157 notes · View notes

typinggently · 3 years

Note

More about Feral/Thot Bruce and his relationship with his villains, please~ <3

Ahhhhh yes of course!!!!! ❣️❣️ I’ve taken this to just brainstorm a little, so it’s a bit messy! (sorry 🌹)

I have to say, for quite a while I had this strict division in my mind between Thotty Bruce and Feral Bruce but I’ve come to realise - “crazy and perverse”, right?! So??!! I really think Feral Bruce would have every reason to start something with his villains. Good for him, honestly. (And we KNOW he likes bad girls so you can’t tell me that he doesn’t like bad boys too. You can’t. It’s practically canon that he’s into it)

But all my justifications for horny bs aside -

Firstly I once again have to bring up Lil Kim? How many Licks?! The fact that “startin’ fights in your yard” wasn’t just her ego talking but, according to genius, there was a problem in the 90s with inmates legit starting fights over who got to jerk off to her magazine shoot?! I- Hello?! That’s the energy we want for the villains.

(That got me thinking whether the Gotham underground is as hot for Brucie as they are for The Bat, considering Brucie is much more...out there. But I think that wouldn’t be very public since it’s known that Harvey Dent will hurt you if you talk badly about Brucie)

Now. What’s Bruce into?

For one, there are people he genuinely has connections with in real life and who he just genuinely crushes on - which is basically just Harvey, isn’t it? Those two have a very complicated relationship, there’s a lot of angst and all that, of course. But we can’t deny the fact that back in the day they had incredible chemistry. I still really like the whole Matthew McConaughey idea for Harvey, which would mean he’s a whole 10 years older than Bruce, but...man that’s sizzling?! 20somerhing Bruce at the beginning of his HottieThottie Brucie phase making absolute moon eyes at this serious-friendly lawyer?! I could talk about it for ages. If we go with the idea that Harvey knows who he is (which just seems very likely to me), I wonder how that translates into their villain-Bat relationship. There’s a LOT to be explored here.

So. There’s another group with villains who Bruce most definitely could (or did) fuck around with, such as Slade, Bane or Croc. Mr Freeze, too, for that matter. Also I’m putting Ra’s into this category. :). Powerful people who have a relationship with him that goes beyond schemes and fights, or who are intelligent and mayhaps compassionate at times, who Bruce may not agree with but nonetheless respects. And who are hot!!!! I have to say it!!!! Bruce has to sit in his cave and listen to recordings of Bane’s speeches or watch Croc in confinement just tear through metal and ??!!! He’s just?! Not supposed to drool all over that?!

Absolutely ridiculous to expect that of him. Instead, we should all applaud him that he manages to keep his cool and actually fight those people?! Most of them can definitely tell that there’s chemistry there (And by that I mean anyone but Bane honestly. I love him and I love the “what do you MEAN ‘suck my cock’ I’m here to crush your skull” vibe for him so much).

Just like good guys can get a bit hot for the bad guys, bad guys can have a very intense reaction to guys who’re just...good. You’re going to try to stop me? You think you can just put on your tight little suit and punch me? Oh that’s cute, that’s hot

Additionally, The Bat has something very irresistible about him. It’s the feral energy, it’s the black outfit, the sexy claws, the weirdly acrobatic fighting style. Even people like Penguin and Mad Hatter, Scarecrow and Riddler aren’t really immune to it. It’s not like they would actively pursue anything like Slade might, but they can feel a certain pull. The Bat to them is what those sexy villanelles and femme fatales are to detectives. Danger, someone you want to avoid, but also incredibly appealing.

So when I say that The Bat’s got their dick’s hard, starting fights in their yard, I don’t just mean that Croc and Slade get into an argument about wether the other is lying about making the Bat come untouched (neither of them is lying btw), or Harvey breaking some crook’s nose because he said The Bat is nothing but a guy in a slutty costume. I mean that when someone brings that guy up, there’s an immediate tension. Silence falls.

Unfortunately, there’s no photo shoot with Bat in an aqua green wig, playing around in a foam-filled bathtub, but the memories of a rough voice, sharp nails, a flash of a trim waist are MORE than enough to have the villains foaming at the mouth.

#feral bruce hours #dc #filth #twobats #and a lot more #but I have no idea wether they HAVE ship names

35 notes · View notes

joy1579 · 4 years

Note

Hey! So... When I started to play Mystic messenger I was a teenager, so I was wondering how the boys and Jaehee would react discovering that MC was a teenager too (platonic of course) I loved your headcanons btw ♥️

gah its been forever and a day since i was a kid. and even then i was like really bad at being a kid heh what do teenagers do? all i did was hide in the library and avoid socializing oops. whatever i had a lot of fun writing this! honestly i think they would all be very protective of you since the RFA really feels like one big family!

Jumin

He is proud of you and wants to provide you with future opportunities because that’s how he cares about people, by giving them a means to earn money and have purpose. Also he is very interested in what you can teach him about pop culture.

- Age doesn’t matter to him too much. Maturity does and you had proven your maturity by helping the RFA faithfully and well

- In fact, he is very proud of how well you did and mentions that your professionalism at such a young age shows great potential should you apply to C&R (you know him well enough to take it for the compliment it is intended to be)

- His presence practically drips with “proud dad preparing for his daughter’s future” vibes and considering the 11-year age gap you suppose you couldn’t ask for much better

- That is until he hears you chatting on the phone and using slang he’s never heard before

- Now he’s curious and asking questions. You show him some him some vines you have saved and teach him a bit about pop culture leading to an unlikely but very fun friendship

- You and he tease zen a lot by having Jumin use made up slang and you pretending its super cool and zen’s just not with it. Also imagine getting Jumin to do a secret handshake just to piss Zen off. It ends with the “nyah” pose

Yoosung

Acts like your best friend that you enjoy teasing. He wants to be a good role model but that shiz is hard. You two bond a lot over stories about school and the struggles of exams.

- He is very relieved to not be the youngest anymore because now maybe everyone will stop treating him like a baby. (spoiler alert they won’t. Ever.)

- He worries that he’s supposed to act like a big brother. He doesn’t know how to do that! He’s always been the baby brother, or the youngest member, or the newest intern. How does one be responsible?

- Tries and fails to intimidate guys away from you to “protect” you (but zen said it was his duty to keep you safe! He said all men are wolves MC!)

- “If all men are wolves why isn’t he worried about you Yoosung?” “huh? Hey wait yeah! Does he not think I’m a man?!” “ go get em tiger. give zen a piece of your mind”

- He helps you with homework a lot but no cheating! He tells you about the time he cheated to pass a class only to get to the next level class and understand NOTHING it took a lot of tutoring and studying and work to fix that mess. Best to learn it now while it’s still learnable.

- He refuses to teach you LOL “don’t end up like me MC! Be better!” you learn it anyway and end up playing with him frequently. The rest of the RFA blame him for this much to his dismay.

Saeyoung

he wants to protect you in his own frankly silly way. still meme’s it up but doesnt want anyone “corrupting” you. actually he kind of treats you the way he would treat saeran.

- He fights with V for the first time when V suggests leaving you in Rika’s apartment (with a bomb) but reluctantly comes around and does what V says

- Stays a meme lord and is psyched if you can manage to out meme him

- Definitely teases you about your age a lot (Yoosung is secretly glad to not be the ONLY one getting teased for being young)

- “guys we have to protect the baby she has her whole life ahead of her”

- Is the most adamant about not swearing, drinking or smoking around you

- “y’all need Jesus there are CHILDREN here”

- You may have to call him out on this behavior because seriously wtf you know for a fact hacking isn’t the most ethical or legal occupation and he’s gonna lecture you?!?

- He may joke around but he up’s his protection game up about 10 notches because for real you have your whole life ahead of you

Zen

he basically adopts you okay. he wants to be your cool big brother friend and be everything his family never was for him. he takes care of you and stands up for you every chance he can.

- He finds out very early on because the second he starts flirting seven shuts that shit down telling him your too young for that. He asks how young and is shocked but recovers pretty fast

- You know the protective big brother trope? Yeah that’s him

- He’s your ride or die friend too. Need a ride to school? He’s there on his bike, some dick is harassing you? He’s there to scare the punk off, and even though he doesn’t want to fight a kid he will if he has too

- If its girls who are harassing, you he picks you up to give your rep a bit of a boost (it never hurts to be seen with such a handsome guy after all and if he shows up on his bike he’s also got the badass vibe going on)

- He has ALWAYS wanted a little sister and now he’s adopted you. You’re his little sis now and he’s wrapped around your finger. He swears he’ll be a better brother than his brother was

- He is so proud of all your accomplishments and is determined to encourage your dreams the way his parents never did (he might be living his family wishes vicariously through you but hey he treats you good so it’s cool)

Jaehee

- She’s a bit worried about you taking on such a big responsibility as the RFA guest liaison at such a young age. What if your grads drop? Or you family gets upset? What if you had to also work a part time job and this interfered your young you need to be able to rest and live your life. (when you point out that she should do the same she brushes you off)

- Not much changes honestly, she’s always been the RFA’s mom after all.

- She gets a little stricter about language and “inappropriate” topics

- She definitely encourages you to study and do well in school (and avoid any job’s Mr. Han offers you)

- She still down to be your friend though! She’s all ears when you need to vent about school and you are always ready to lend an ear back when Jumin is giving you a hard time

- You swap girl power ballads and she helps you set up a Zen fan club at your high school

Saeran

- Look he didn’t intend to kidnap and actual kid and he’s honestly a bit panicked when he finds out your age you looked older than that he swears

- Thankfully your mature enough and smart enough to do what’s needed of you and he supposes as long as you don’t have a family searching for you it should be okay

Ray

- He’s a little more reserved but honestly not much changes he’s still innocent and devoted he calls you princess and tries to spoil you as much as he can he may not see you as a romantic interest but your still his obsession.

- He likes that you trusted him even more since your young and therefor more vulnerable. You’re his family now, a better family than he’s ever had.

- If you are the princess, he is your knight in the strictest definition. Which is to say he is devoted to protecting and serving you out of dedication and reverence rather than romance.

Unknown

- He’s more verbally aggressive than physically aggressive

- He doesn’t try as hard to seem intimidating because he thinks of you as a child, and he doesn’t have to prove how tough he is to a child it’s obvious after all.

- Also his visits are simultaneously shorter and more frequent. Shorter because he tends to get flashbacks easier (since he sees you as a child despite you being a teen) and more frequent because they are less satisfying since he doesn’t let himself be physically aggressive.

Vanderwood

(IDK why but I feel like he probably had an actual family with a girlfriend/wife and possibly a very very young daughter before the agency. Maybe she left him and that’s why he’s so impressed by MC’s dedication in the secret ending. Or maybe they’re both dead because broken hearts make more money than whole ones. Either way I think a teen MC would remind him of his possible family and so he would be hell bent on separating you from the danger and drama of literally everything that happens in the game.)

- He’s legitimately (and rightfully) concerned about you when he see’s you on seven’s CCTV feed

- protective and angry dad mode activated

- threatens to tazer seven into oblivion if he lets something (or causes something to) happen to you

- “what the hell are you doing she’s a civilian AND she’s got her whole life before her, you and I might have thrown away our lives but she didn’t! whatever’s going on you had better fix it NOW”

- He is not speaking with you. No way no how. Every word he says to you puts you more in danger and he is not having your life on his conscious

- That being said the second you’re in danger he is all in on ANNIHILATING whatever has put you in danger

#mysme #mystic messenger #mm #jumin #jumin han #yoosung #yoosung kim #seayoung #seven #luciel #zen #hyun ryu #jaehee #jaehee kang #saeran #ray #unknown #vanderwood

94 notes · View notes

tlbodine · 5 years

Text

Fluffy’s Diary: Entry 1

I guess most teenagers hope nobody reads their diary, but I hope somebody does find this if something happens. Like, I stole this legal pad from by some lady’s phone just to write this down so if we all go missing or whatever somebody will know what happened.

My name is Fee. Okay so it’s actually Fluffy, but nobody knows that. They figure it’s short for Fiona or whatever.

Here’s a riddle: what happens when a couple garou get drunk and stop caring about bloodlines and purity and shit?

A short, hairless freak of nature, that’s what.

Also hi, yeah, that would be me.

Anyway. This whole thing started when the clan decided to send me and my dad to Disneyworld. Not my real dad, obviously, but Lupus, the guy who’s been raising me since I was abandoned for being a freak (totally unfair btw, -they’re- the ones who bumped uglies so why is that my fault?) Also, yeah, his name is Lupus, stupid names are kind of a family tradition.

So, like, there’s some stuff you have to know about Lupus. Like, he’s totally weird. He carries this cell phone around on him everywhere but I don’t think he’s ever paid the bill so it doesn’t work. And I guess he kind of comes off as a mega creeper even though honestly I think he just wants to be loved even if he’s...not great at communicating it. But he’s really awesome, too. He’s only like 10 years older than me so he starting watching out for me when he was just a teenager, which is super cool. And he knits me sweaters so I don’t get cold (being a bald freak of nature and all that), and okay yeah they’re hideous and unravel but it’s the thought that counts. And he’s so cool he even let me meet up with that cute guy I met online and bring him with us on vacation. Who can say that about their dad?

Anyway, so the deal is, our packmates were always complete dicks to us, so I probably should have been more suspicious when they said they were sending us on an all-expense-paid Disney vacation, but how was I supposed to know it was a setup?

Okay so maybe I figured it out about the time the Citron they gave us broke down on the side of the road in nowheresville West Virginia (is this even West Virginia?) and when we all added up our cash and figured out we had about $46 between us.

Also there was some dude in the trunk? Apparently? I was getting a corndog at the time so, like, I’m going on second-hand info here, but supposedly this dude is some kind of outdoors-enthusiast traveling “preacher of Gaia” (uh, whatever) who ran afoul of some really pissed-off Jehovah’s Witnesses who locked him in the back of that car. Which all sounds completely ridiculous until you spend like five minutes with the guy, because honestly, once you have to listen to that dumb mouth of his flap around for a while, you want to stuff him in a trunk too.

So that’s how the whole lot of us ended up in Willington or whatever, I guess.

On the bright side, people here have been super nice to me. These two ladies bought me corn dogs, and a wolf delivered us a pizza in the forest, and then I got breakfast and even some fresh clothes, even if they are like mega huge on me, so everything’s coming up aces for Fee.

This lady who was helping us out -- she says her name is January but I think that’s totally an alias because, lol, what a stupid fucking name -- says they’ve been having some problems with Black Spirals, and kids showing up murdered, and the whole damn forest stinks of Wyrm. And apparently all of it might be linked to some kind of cutting-edge gaming company called Tellus?

And we kind of sort of agreed we’d check it out and help them deal with their pack war situation if they’d help us get the hell out of town afterward.

Oops?

So that’s the deal. If you’re reading this, probably figure that we went to check out that escape room the Tellus company set up, and probably it didn’t go so great.

But hey, maybe it’ll be awesome!

Maybe it’ll even be almost as good as Disneyworld!

#paw prints across willington #werewolf the apocalypse #this is the tabletop game the morlock is running #its hilarity and shenanigans #four idiots on a road trip #pawprints over willington #pawprints across willington

6 notes · View notes

stories-tales-myths · 3 years

Text

Fairytale: König Drosselbart / King Thrushbeard

A German fairytale that I grew up with. It's supposed to teach a lesson, but it's actually really fucked up.

.characters: Princess [vain], King [her father], suitors [various], King Thrushbeard, Beggar

---

1. Enter beautiful young Princess. [Let's face it, she is a teenager. There are different versions with her age 14-18] King wants to marry her off.

2. King invites suitors [really just an assortment of inbred creepy old guys with titles and money] and because he is soo kind and progressive and loves his daughter soo much, he wants to let her choose who to marry

3. Suitors line up, Princess judges. [It's supposed to feel like that scene from "The Emporers new groove", but Princess actually has some good points] 'You are like four times my age' 'You smell as if you have never taken a bath in your life and I'm supposed to touch you?' 'I think you killed your last wife because she only had daughters. Did I hear that rumor right?' 'You look like a pig.' 'You're drunk.' 'Your parents were siblings and you only want to marry me because you don't have any sisters.' 'You live several weeks away and I don't want to leave my family and home like this:' [Add to your heart's content. Some good points, some shallow points. Seriously. The tale always gets told with shallow and reasonable criticisms, but the audience is always supposed to feel as if all points are shallow. I told you it's creepy. I have never heard a version without at least the age-thing and some reference to alcohol. But SURE, Princess just needs to suck it up. ] and finally: 'You have a funny beard. You look like a thrush. I shall call you King Thrushbeard.'

[This is a thrush. What a cute little birdie.]:

4. Somehow, this pisses the King of. [Maybe he used to sport this style in his youth]

The King throws a tantrum:

'You, my beloved daughter, are an ungrateful brat. You refuse to marry any of these wonderful suitors, these noble noblemen that would actually be perfect for you. And now you make fun of this handsome fella.

Obviously, I [mis]understand you perfectly: You don't want to marry a nobleman, so I guess you don't want to be a princess anymore. And you embarrass me in front of my old friends and drinking buddies, so I guess you don't want to be my daughter either.

You shall get your wish: The next beggar I see shall be your husband. You won't ever see this castle or me ever again.

Now go to your room, I will have a drink or two with these WONDERFUL men.'

5. Princess does not believe her father. Nevertheless, the next morning comes. There is a beggar. The beggar asks for a few coins. Instead, he gets a 14-year-old [or whatever age you picked] child bride [Child, yes. Even if she's 18, he's like twice her age at least] They have a very small wedding and then leave the castle. Princess cries the entire time. [reminder. The story usually gets told with the emphasis that Princess deserves this and is just being an ungrateful brat right now]

6. Beggar and Princess on their journey. Because she is now severely dehydrated, she stops crying. And she fucking scared. [Because her father just GIFTED her to a strange man without her consent and even went so far as to tell her, that whatever happens, she CANNOT come back and ask for his help. And she has no idea where the strange man lives or what he will do to her.

To clarify: The 'noble' suitors would have been pretty bad too. But she would still be a princess and have at least some protection. There would be a court and she would never be completely isolated. There would never be even a risk of her being forced into prostitution or sacrificed to some heathen god or many being eaten alive.

Most of that does not happen, but she can't know that for sure. Just imagine how you would feel in her situation. ]

To distract herself she starts to make light conversation:

"Who does that pretty meadow belong to?"

> "Oh that. It belongs to King Thrushbeard."

"Who does this lush forest belong to?"

> "Oh that. It belongs to King Thrushbeard."

...

[She always asks about something rich or pretty and it always belongs to King Thrushbeard. It's a day-long journey, so just do as many repetitions as you'd like. ]

7. They arrive at a really small, sad little hut.

Princess: "Who does that shabby hut belong to?"

Beggar: "That belongs to me. And because you are my wife now, it's your home as well. I expect you to cook and clean for me and tend to the garden, and I expect you to do well because I don't have time for a lazy wife.

[EWW]

[8. She probably gets raped. This part is never explicit because today's versions of any fairytale for children are rather tame. And the older versions don't NEED to say anything, because they originate in a time when OF COURSE you just casually raped your wife, especially on your wedding night.]

9. Princess has to deal with chores and fails, because of course she does. And Beggar is pissed and yells at her a lot. [He might also hit her.] But at least he is only at home at night, although she has no idea where he goes every day.

Options include

-basket weaving (She has bloody hands after this)

-pottery

-cooking (she doesn't actually fail at this, the soup is just a little bland. Beggar yells at her anyway.)

-cleaning

-laundry (almost drowns in a river)

-selling things at the market (she fails by being run over by a horse in this one.)

10. Beggar is fed up with his permanently 'mopey' [traumatized] and useless 'wife' [underaged slave]. So he sends her away to work at the castle as a kitchen girl.

Nobody recognizes her. [There are several possible reasons as to Why That Is. One worse than the next:

a) King may have ordered everybody to pretend to not know her. Just to make her feel miserable.

b) Princess is now malnourished and possibly sleep-deprived. Possibly her trauma manifests in severe nightmares. She isn't clean, her hair is different, she may have lost weight. Possibly her demeanor has changed too. Gone is the confident and playful girl. This girl speaks quietly, walks quietly and hunched over, and flinches at sudden movements.

c) Princess might be older now. We have no idea how long she lived in the hut with Beggar. A week? A year? Five Years? Who knows?]

11. She is actually relatively happy. She makes friends, learns skills from the other servants (who are actually patient and don't just yell at her). Maybe she gets to say hello to her horse again.

And Princess gets to steal small pieces of the exquisite food her father eats. [don't worry everybody does it] She picks these pieces up and puts them in a small pot under her skirt to eat them later. [Don't ask me about the logistics here. This is one of the big mysteries of my childhood. Why a pot? That must be uncomfortable. How inconspicuous can it be to do this? What if the King eats soup? ]

12. One day, there's a big banquette. King Thrushbeard is there, spots Princess, and says something like 'What a pretty girl. I don't care that she's working right now. My dick says I wanna dance with her, so I'm gonna.'

[In other versions he only notices her because the weird pot shatters and THEN decides to dance with her.]

13. Up-close, Princess realizes something:

King Thrushbeard IS the Beggar

14. King Thrushbeard officially introduces his wife to the world, Princess reconciles with her father. There is a second wedding, big this time.

[In some versions the King knew all along, in other versions he doesn't and just finds this hilarious.

In all versions this counts as a happy ending btw.]

---

Now the lesson here is that girls should always be kind and just do what their dads say. I guess. It's a terrible lesson.

#story #german fairytales #fairytale #creepy old man #terrible fairytales #thrushbeard #questionable morals

1 note · View note

bloodinyourcoffeestream · 6 years

Text

one month of practice teaching

ＴＲＡＮＳＣＲＩＰＴ

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WTF I HAVE SO MANY STORIES TO TELL YOU CAN I JUST CALL????????? I'M CRYING EVERY WEEK IS HELL WEEK WHEN YOU'RE A STUDENT-TEACHER

actually i would most likely just break down ya kno if my hair isn't this short i'd consider getting a haircut again, why do my kids have to be so rowdy what the actual fuck???????????????/ i've walked out on two of my classes already which is super Not a good notch on my performance but jesus fuckin christ no one ever said it would be this hard (maybe except that one senior who advised me to shift courses when i was a sophomore)

i'm saying this so often these days but i've never been this Tired in my entire goodamn life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ya know how yoi outgays itself in every episode?? it's like that for me except each day outstresses the previous one time to die

ya i'm sorry it's just ughughhuhuhuhguhughughuhuhuhguhughuhuhuhughu teaching is fun and all but? i thought i'd stop getting stressed once i get adjusted to the environment but holy fuck it seems everyday that passes reduces my tolerance for my kids' antics

i'm a pretty chill teacher in general i let them have free reign in my time as long as they submit their outputs on time. we start the class late up to 20mins to wait for the latecomers!!!!!!!!!!! they can like eat and play music and even walk around or do stuff for other subjects and even fucking sleep!!!! (they even played 'stupid love' and 'kalimutan mo na yan' and 'titibo-tibo' in my class and i never judged them for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) they can easily gain my permission when they want to excuse their whole class to practice for their mapeh cheerdance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i joke around with them!!!! i treat them all like i personally ejected them outta my damn womb & raised them for 16 or so years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm a pretty chill teacher in lectures too i try to be as jolly as possible!!!!!!!! i try to make discussions interactive!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm generous with recitation chips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (u can get chips just by sweeping the floor and erasing the board!!!!!!!!!!!!) i spend all night designing lesson-related games so that my kids wouldn't get bored!!!!!!! i give them plenty of time before the deadline!!!!!!!!!!!!! (like we spend a whole week for each output!!!) i go around the room during hands-on activities to make sure they're all doing their work properly!!!!!!!!! i even lent them my drafting stuff & provided them with bond paper bc i know how broke they are!!!!!!!!! you should come & sit in one of my classes they'll be the best thing you'll ever witness. i swear. i'm the best B-)

so holy mother of fuck why can't they give me the 1 ounce of respect i deserve? i'm so kind to them is it so hard to be kind back???? why are they all after my blood??????//

being strict's not my thing because strict teachers get less respect and u know it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sinasaway ko sila + nagtataray ako minsan pero sandaling-sandali lang then back to bibo hotdog na aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i'm so sorry for this rant i know i'm not supposed to be complaining to you i just. can't bring myself to tell my co-teachers bc they just tell me to be strict. and i can't for the life of me be strict. i literally forget which kids were noisy and rowdy after a maximum of 10 seconds!!!!!!!!!!! i easily forget which classes i'm supposed to be angry with and treat them well again the next day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! uhuhhuhuhuhuhuhuuuhhuhughughghuhuhuhuhuhhghugh kahihiyan ako

which is why i walked out of two of my classes; i feel like i've done everything to deserve their respect and it turns out i still don't. and idk what to do with them anymore honestly

i'm so stressed na bimb. minura ko na yung lower sections na hawak ko legit if my advisor/cooperating teacher(CT) finds out i'll get a bad rating for sure (and if i get a bad rating, laude is cancelledt) (super bigat na batas sa high school teachers na bawal magmura). i told them verbatim; guys kayo di ko kayo ginagago kaya pwede ba ako huwag niyo ring gaguhin? (which sounds light but not when coming from a hs teacher ok? some of them audibly gasped wow high schoolers are so soft) but even that didn't seem to have an effect on my raucous kids hanunah

anyway i just feel so weak now?? i forgive too easily specially especially after they've apologized or stopped being dicks + they make me smile so easily bc they're mostly so sweet & funny??????? why don’t i have the ability to stay mad & hold grudges & be strict hahahahhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuetangina

some 'anonymous feedback' i got was that, para raw akong baliw, one minute galit then the other bati-bati na ulit, tas parang be-babyhin ko pa yung mga sinita ko. inexplain ko nalang na di ko kayang magalit then my CT said kailangan kong maging consistent - kung galit, galit talaga, or else magmumukha talaga akong baliw. or di na ako susundin kasi parang joke lang ako magalit

b i h

iyak na c acoe

i'm sorry this is so long i feel like we haven't talked in years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm writing this in the faculty room actually haha i feel like i'd stop functioning if i don't type these out, my head is such a wreck rn bc i keep getting bad feedback about my teaching strategy, sorry for all the exclamation points :(((((((

yung CT ko pa, he's always insisting that my lower-sectioners are just a bunch of assholes, KSPs, and lazy fucks, but they're not!!!!!!!! they're actually really sweet, they can be competitive when motivated properly, and they have so much potential???? their grades might be mostly seven-liners – (yung isa kong anak aNG SAYA-SAYA NIYA NUNG BINIGYAN KO SIYA NG 79 LIKE ?????) (pinaulit ko yung gawa niya btw tinuro ko ulit sa kanya kung alin yung mga mali niya hahahahaha then naging 103/100 pa yun) (may +5 kasi pag nagpasa before the deadline so ayun) – but they're the ones who are maparaan/madiskarte; i know they're the ones who's most likely to succeed in real life. they're also the ones who greet me on the corridors & off-campus with those cheerful "hi ma'am"s!!! ma'am buhatin ko na gamit mo!! ma'am ako na magwawalis!! idk if i’m a fool but i only see kindness & initiative in their actions?? these pabibos are gonna go far, i believe in them so much, i really go

the top-sectioners my CT puts on such a high pedestal are mostly GCs and self-entitled, always have their noses in the air & think they're better than everyone including me. always competing with their "Friends", crab mentality, always memorizing my material even if i always tell them to Understand instead of memorize bc they'll never learn shit that way????

i'm so dismayed bc there's a very specific mould that determines whether you're a 'good teacher' or not. and that mould is so, so different from what my shape is. that mould goes against my beliefs and principles; that mould is nearly everything i've been wanting to fight against when i decided to be a teacher and holy shit it looks like i have to fit in that stupid, ugly mould if i want to graduate. nevermind cum laude; i'd never graduate unless i fit in that bullshit mould

shet bes magpapakain ako sa sistema makakuha lang ng diploma

ily so much baks thanks for listening to my stupid rants. i don't know who to turn to, everyone else is like 'ganun talaga' or some other bs i wanna jump off a cliff, pls i'd rather disappear than magpalamon sa sistema. tangina ng sistema

why do i have to be so stubborn why am i like this?????

bes

ang sama pala maging weird

tanggap ko na nga sarili ko eh minamahal ko na nga yung pagiging weird ko pero hindi pala pwede; not in this profession; shet bes i need to become normal 2 survive. no fun allowed

now i just want to go home & send u thing whole novel can u believe i've been here since 5:30am!!!!!!! every!!! single!!!! weekday!!!!!! it's 5pm now but i can't go home yet bc i have to check tons of student outputs and write 5 semi-detailed lesson plans so that i can actually rest at home. someone take me out, the footbridge in sandigan is really tempting sometimes you know? the one that crosses over the underpass and u can see all the trucks passing underneath the bridge, plus theres a bunch of electric cables too. and when you're standing on that spot on the footbridge, the view of the sky is super pretty too. (you know what, maybe i'll take a photo when i pass by later. if it's there's still daylight out, that is.) it's so tempting sometimes,, sadly i'll never hear jung hoseok's contagious laughter if i pull any shit

do u think i should drop out now and just. i dunno work as a farmer in pangasinan or somewhere farther, like in visayas or maybe even cambodia where so much myths and folklore thrive, at least that sounds a lot less mentally taxing. i have backpain now anyway; i won't have to complain about that when i'm actually farming

i can't even listen to all the older songs i like bc they make me nostalgic about the past sjhkjhkjdhfkshdk i've told you how much i hate this nostalgia already, it hasn't stopped yet, gods help me!! i keep saying, "sana thesis na lang, thesis na lang ulit" and it's not even funny anymore

i'm so sorry for telling you all this :((( i'm sure you're stressed with school too, i hope i'm not adding to that. don't worry about me, okay? i'm probably not as stressed as i seem anyway, i tend to overact a lot then be perfectly fine after drying my tear ducts and then an 8-hour sleep and like a hot meal that isn't just reheated for the 5th time. i'm so sorry for making you read all this, this is like 5 whole pages i'm sorry :'((((

there's another lower-sectioner i wanna tell you about but this is getting ridiculously long, ask me about patricia sometime ok? it's kind of long-ish hahahaha

but u know what the worst thing is??? I BOUGHT TWO PUDDINGS FROM THE BAKERY YESTERDAY & ONE OF THEM FELL ON THE PAVEMENT JUST LIKE THAT. IF THE GOD'S AREN'T BULLYING ME IDK WHAT THIS IS

0 notes

jacquelineirenegabriella · 6 years

Text

Well... It's Been Awhile.

Oh Tumblr. Still here. It has been quite some time since I made a post here. Probably haven't posted up on here since sometime back in high school. Guess what? I am 20 fucking 3! So probly been about summer between like 4 to 7 years or some shit. I don't know the exact amount I am not really big on math and do not feel like doing that right now so therefore I am not going to. Anyway, I decided to go back and kind of try to start posting to my blog cuz I realize that I actually have a lot that I would like to say. And here, seems like a pretty good place to do it! But first, let me fill you in. I am currently in an all around amazing relationship. My new partner in crime is thirty fucking four. So yeah about 10 and a half or 11 years older. There you go. I did the math for you on that one. You're welcome. Anyway, some may call it a bit of a large gap, but I call it fucking awesome. Our maturity levels seem to somehow meet, almost perfectly, in the middle. Dude pays his bills but I'm pretty sure he likes Batman and Legos a little too much. But that's okay. Because I don't pay my bills and I like cussing a little too much. Anyway, enough about that guy.. Calm down everyone. I only plan on going about as far as marriage and maybe a kid or two, or maybe 3 if things work out different than we planned, and plus spending the whole rest of my life with him. Because I now know how it feels to have met someone so effing crazy yet so effing sensible and saying at the same time. And also, so damn close to perfect.. About as close as any of us humans can get, it seems. I honestly hope that you all eventually find your sensible crazy mix at some point in life too. And if you don't, then that's okay. At least I still have mine. Jk guys, go out there and find your other half. Sometimes maybe just try to look up and down and to the left and to the right (take it back now y'all😉😁) and then somewhere that you maybe didn't even consider existed before... like a magical land of awesome, with purple rivers and multicolored sunsets as well as multicolored sunrises, where they develop beautiful, genuine men with not only the sweet and gentle voice of a freakin angel, but like.. the whole package of awesome. Seriously, and I mean the WHOLE package. 😉😍 Makes sense right? He's also pretty. Js. Just another random fact about my new found gift. (Im always thankful and play with it almost everyday, of course). On to new topic. I have stuff to say and I'm going to say it. Opinions are welcome, of course, however don't respect me to definitely give flying fuck. Because ya pro. Would have about a 50/50 shot. But you know, feel free to express yourself anyway though, even though your opinion will probably be the wrong opinion most likely. Unless its the same opinion as mine. Haha. Just saying. And oh well man, that's life sometimes. So feel free to build a bridge and get over it, sir. Also thank you for reading and welcome back to my shit. Hope you enjoy. And with all that, here are a few random facts to close this post, exclusively made the up for all of you... to clarify, only some are made up. Some are real. And if you want, you can even try to guess which ones are real which or false. Kind of like a game like playing fucking Monopoly. Anyway yeah so...

1. I adore my 34 year old male creature thing person friend boyfriend.

2. I'm super protective over those I love and the most protective over creature thing. Like seriously though, I am not joking. Keep your hands to yourself cuz I will not hesitate to rip then off, along with your face. Please and thank you. 😁

3. In reference to number 2... That ass is mine. Stay away from that ass.

4. Hugh Hefner was not a criminal and did nothing wrong besides probably being a pervy old dude, just,with way more money than most of the other creepy old dudes. Also, who the hell calls themself bunnies. That's stupid. And your stupid. Stop trying to be cute, cuz your not. Your gross. And your a whore. Just like the other 22 million other basic bitches that look just like you. Please stop being repulsive.

5. The Kardashians are also annoying to though, tbh. Like, what is it exactly that they are famous for? Besides maybe Kim's big fat ass. Oh, and btw, nice job on that pornos with Ray J, Kimmy, that was some quality shit. Haha. NOT. My eyes will not be exposed to that level of purr crust. You're gross, and your voice is annoying. But not just you though, also your sisters. Even the little younger Bruce spawns or whatever they are supposed to be. My creature beautiful person doesn't like them either and neither do I. Because they're annoying and like 12 and they shouldn't be on TV. And stop doing what you're doing. I don't judge people, by the way. Not usually, anyway. Not without like, good reason. But hey, I'm only human just like you. Unless you're a robot, then your robot. I am dedicating this particular post, to my once again, very loved yet very old boyfriend. He's probably one of the smartest guys I know. Definitely also, knows how to identify and actively avoid the basic bitches. And has a pretty legit hatred for those Kardashians so yeah that was what this post was about. All for you, sir. (Those damn Kardashians!) Haha.

6. I am however, not one of those 98%. And damn proud. Also, one of my most adored friends, Shannon, is also not in that 2%. I pulled us both out of the shame puddle because we don't belong there. Don't drown, other bitches. Obviously, creature wouldn't be in the shame puddle either but I kind of figure there's a separate one for guys and separate one for girls. I don't make the rules about these things.

7. Is this boxer that is currently sitting next to me in the couch appears to have a ear infection of some sort and wants to sit right up next to me and keeps shaking his head and I'm a little nervous that liquid will come out because that's gross.

8. In all honesty though, we do take care of our dogs just to let everyone know. They are all very spoiled. Especially the one with the stupidest face. Just because you know. Nothing beats bitch Mountain face.

9. I have been living off work for over a year now with new guy that I may have mentioned once or twice above. And things are chill. Good actually. Great. I don't like to be cheesy sometimes. Makes me feel kind of shocked... Plus that one guy saying like right over there and can hear me talk to texting this whole thing right now. But I don't know if he hears things outside of his video game but there's also that chance.

10. He does.

11. Gucci is stupid and overpriced for no reason at all. And to clarify, it's the over pricing that makes it stupid for the most part. I am cool with my Kohl's or Walmart purses. They work and they don't cost me a month or II salary for a piece of fucking thick Fabric or whatever the hell they use to make purses nowadays I don't know but I know it's not damn gold so fuck that.

12. Haha. Thick fabric. Not sure why that's amusing but it is.

13. My boyfriend's name is Gary.

14. Gary said, in regards to number 15. That is amusing because it sounds like dick fabric. I neither agree nor disagree on this. But it kind of does sound like that. But like I mean kinda. With a kinda.

16. I am actually a pretty nice, laid-back person, believe it or not. I just enjoy my cuss words sometimes and stuff and you know Tumblr is going to be my new place to stay whatever basically, whenever. Yep. Opinions. Opinions. Opinions. Because everyone has them. Usually located next to your plumbus.

17. Oh and BTW... I really like music and photography and drawing and video editing and stuff. I also plan on eventually, earning my degree in psyche starting a career in clinical counseling.

18. Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend smokes too much weed. But that's okay.

19. I am so ready to finish and submit this post. But this is 19 so I wanted to bring it to an even 20 by adding one more number. Which may, very possibly, maybe, be the most important or meaningful piece of this whole post. Lr tbe very least. Time will tell. Stay tuned. Or don't. That's fine. Seriously, I wouldn't blame you if you left.

20. I love, writing, relaxing, sometimes napping, being productive when possible, the three annoying dogs, and my beautiful chiseled Angel person.

21. Ha. I lied there's 21 not 20.

0 notes