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glapplebloom · 3 years

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Which of these soulless corporate movies is the least soulless?

Welcome to the Space Jam. Its your chance to do your dance at the Space Jam. Alright? Alright. Both movies are about a Basketball Star Teaming up with the Looney Tunes to play Basketball. So let’s see which one is the better of the two, starting off with...

THE STORY

Original - Aliens have come to kidnap the Looney Tunes. So they decide to have their fate decided by a Basketball Game. But when the Aliens stole the talent of other NBA players, the Looney Tunes decide to kidnap Michael Jordan (yes, they kidnap Michael Jordan as pointed out by Teen Titans going to the old Space Jam Website). After Hijinks they win the game.

Sequel - Lebron’s son got kidnapped by Al G. Rhythm and to get him back he must beat Al in a Basketball game. Thing is he is forces to get a team and he was sent to the Looney Tunes world where he finds Bugs alone. The others are seeing other Warner Brother properties so Bugs and Lebron work together to get them back. Thing is Lebron wants some heavy hitters and despite his efforts he only got toons. Even worse, the basketball game is not straightforward, more people’s lives are on the line and Al got his son to play for his team. Only until Lebron learned that he shouldn’t push people to be like him do the toons come back and win the game.

Winner - Sequel. Calling the original a plot is giving it too much credit. Its more of a concept that is put together than an actual story. If New Legacy’s story is more complex, its only because it has actual progression as things change.

THE BASKETBALL STAR

Original - As a kid, Michael Jordan was destined for greatness. He knew he wanted to be a big time basketball star and as a promise to his dad will also become a baseball star. He retired and is trying his best, but he’s not a good baseball player. It doesn’t help that others are treating him as something special (because they all want some free shoes ~Starfire). So when the Looney Tunes kidnap him, he didn’t want to help until the Monstars messed with him. Now back in the game Michael plays like he never lost a step and help the Looney Tunes win.

Sequel - As a kid, Lebron wants to play basketball. But he’s also a kid so he enjoys having fun like playing a Gameboy Game complete with Bugs Bunny’s Crazy Castle. But because of that, he lost the game. His coach at the time said he could become a great basketball player if he focused. So he did and became King James. Now an adult, he wants his kids to be basketball players too, but his youngest son prefer to make video games. This causes a riff that allows AL G. Rhythm to manipulate his son to work with him. Lebron, forced into the Warner Serververse has to make a team and is stuck with the Looney Tunes. He thinks they could win if they stick with the fundamentals but between the new rules and bias ref, they’re losing badly. So badly an argument breaks out between him and the Toons during halftime. When he figures out he’s treating them like his son, he realized the only way to win is to let them be them. With that knowledge, he ask his son for forgiveness and earns it. After winning the game, he lets his son go to the E3 Game Camp instead of the Basketball Camp.

Winner - Sequel. Lebron has an actual connection with Looney Tunes as a kid, was excited to meet Bugs, has a character arc that takes place throughout the entire movie. Even if you think he’s a bad actor, he at least felt like he was invested in the story.

THE REFERENCES

Original - For Background Easter Eggs, you got a few Looney Tunes Alumni, though they do repeat. Cameos feature other Basketball Stars and Bill Murray. And references are to things of the 90s: Dennis Rodman, Pulp Fiction, Beethoven and Babe, and for some reason Disney. I think the most clever is Larry Bird appearing. In one of the few sports things I know, Larry Bird and Michael Jordan were rivals. How do I know this? I played an NES game about their rivalry.

Sequel - Background and References subtle and not were all about Warner owned properties. As old as Casablanca to as new as Rick and Morty. We got to see the DCAU once more, references to old Looney Tunes gags and places, MC Hammer, Hanna-Barbera, Mad Max: Fury Road (and one I think is a Nostalgia Critic Reference) and so much more. In fact here’s a video featuring them all. Favorite of mine, Michael Jordan’s Cameo.

Winner - This is all your own preference so feel free to pick who you think wins here.

THE SOUNDTRACK

Winner - No competition. Between the title song (turned meme), the inspirational song (sang by someone who doesn’t know how to use a toilet), and the Monstars Anthem the new one can’t compete. But I will say for those thinking that Porky Rapping is “cringe”, the original also had a certain Rabbit rapping.

THE VILLAINS

Original - The Big Bad is Mr. Swackhammer, owner of Moron Mountain and voiced by Danny DeVito. Sadly he doesn’t do much but be the big bad boss of Nerdlucks. As their tiny small self, they don’t leave much of an impression but they really stand out after stealing the talent of stars and become Monstars. They become big, mean and slightly more different.

Sequel - Al G. Rhythm is an algorithm the Warner Brothers studios use to help make movie ideas. He wants some recognition and thinks if he can get Lebron on board he can earn it. Sadly, when Lebron refused, he didn’t take it well. So when he saw Lebron’s son take interest in him and ran away from Lebron, Al used that to his advantage. With that, he makes Lebron force to play a basketball game while manipulating his son to not only allow him access to his data but get him to play as well. The Goon Squads are a result of that as its Lebron’s son’s data on other basketball players mixed with superpowers.

Winner - Give Don Cheadle a Disney+ Show Disney! As great as Danny DeVito is, he’s just not in it long enough like Al. Can be manipulative yet also very agro.

THE TOONS

This category will be done differently. I’ll be focusing on their takes on Bugs, Lola, and the Rest. I am not including Daffy in this equation because he’s perfect in both.

Bugs - In the original, Bugs is Bugs. Wisecracking, carrot chewing, master manipulator as always. In the Sequel, he’s one of the few that stood in Looney Tunes world because that’s where he could be him. But the loneliness made him miss everyone (after all, how can he pull off schemes and pranks without victims). And while in the original Bugs saves Lola from being squashed, Bugs risks his life to ensure Lebron doesn’t get deleted when executing the glitch. It makes Bugs’ actions seem more noble than just saving the girl he likes.

Lola - In the original, she’s a “sexy” no nonsense girl who plays basketball, and that’s it. And despite her attitude, became a damsel in distress and Bugs’ prize for rescuing her. in the sequel, she wants to do her own thing, even doing an Amazon Trial to become one, but failed to complete it when Lebron and Bugs was in danger and finding out Lebron’s son was in the line. So she’s there to give the team another good player and also be a moral support. In fact, its thanks to her that Lebron realizes what he’s been doing to his son.

The Rest - If the original got one thing over the Sequel, its number. A lot more Looney Tunes play in their game in comparison. With the exception of Granny who was a cheerleader, every toon was in the game at one point. I can’t say the same for the Sequel. With that said, the Sequel did get to show their personalities more. Like compare Wile E. in both. In one he gives the Monstars a bomb. The other has him using an Acme device, placing bird seed on the button to get the Roadrunner to press it repeatedly, only to have himself be caught in said machine. They all got the chance to do their thing instead of sharing a spit take.

THE BIG GAME

Original - The Looney Tunes are losing badly in the first half. Why? Because they didn’t go looney for... Reasons. After being tricked into drinking Michael’s “Special Drink”, then they decide to go looney. This allows them to catch up but then the Monstars decide to take them out, which they do despite these attacks being pretty tame to what they can normally take. With a few seconds to go, Michael scores one more basket to win.

Sequel - The Looney Tunes are losing badly in the first half. Why? Because Lebron is forcing them to play normal basketball despite their opponents and the game itself is anything but normal basketball. When they came back, they came back Looney and managed to catch up and even get ahead. But then Al decides to cheat since he controls the game. Thanks to this being the kid’s game, they know that if they perform a glitch they can take control away from Al long enough to score one more point and win. And thanks to Bugs’ sacrifice and his son moving a power up right underneath him, Lebron slam dunks the final point and wins.

Winner - The sequel. There was no reason for the Looney Tunes to be less looney in the first half in the original and its short live as each one gets taken out. Meanwhile the Sequel gives a valid reason for everything to happen.

My Winner - Space Jam: A New Legacy

Both movies are basically overgrown commercials trying to get you to buy stuff. The original was based off a Shoe Commercial and banking on your nostalgia on Looney Tunes and Michael Jordan the Basketball player to make you interested in seeing him back on court and new Looney Tunes content. The new one is basically for HBO Max. And both movies have also not credited people who deserve to be credited. But between the two of them a New Legacy actually feels like its trying to justify its existence.

Lebron has a connection with the toons through childhood, has actual stakes in the game, and actually feels invested in the events. The original was basically the Nike commercial stretched to a movie length. And to me, that makes a New Legacy a better movie.

#other

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emmy-writes-sometimes · 4 years

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Sneaky

You’re Chris’s daughter. When he tells you that he’s going out for the night, you take the opportunity to have your boyfriend over and hope that he doesn’t find out.

“Why are you on your phone during school?” Your dad asked as you picked up your phone. You rolled your eyes.

“You’re the one who called me,” you scoffed.

“I know, I’m just messing with you. Cheadle’s in town and asked me if I want to get dinner, so you’re on your own tonight. I’ll bring you something on my way home if I don’t hear you’re throwing a wild party.”

“That’s fine,” you shrugged. “Have fun.”

“I’ll be home around nine-thirty. You know the drill, lock the door, feed the dog.”

“Yep.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You clicked the call shut and locked your phone, prepared to put it in your locker so you didn’t get in trouble with the school, who insisted everyone put their phone in their locker during classes. And then you turned to your boyfriend, who was standing beside you.

“What was that about?” He asked.

“My dad’s going to dinner tonight, so you can come over,” you relayed. You lied about the last part – your dad was very strict about letting boys come over, just because he knew how he used to be with girls and you were exactly like him and the last thing he wanted was to have to take you to get a pregnancy test at the age of seventeen.

“He said I could come over?” Your boyfriend, Jack, raised an eyebrow. Your dad loved him, really, but if he knew you’d asked him to come over he’d say no. He would give you a hard, fast no.

“Well, he’s going to be gone, so it really doesn’t matter.” Jack laughed.

“You’re crafty. I’ll bring homework so when he comes home and I’m still there, we won’t be doing anything he wouldn’t approve of.” You rolled your eyes. Jack was a good kid, and that was probably why your dad loved him so much. Jack wouldn’t so much as touch your lower back unsupervised.

“Oh, come on.”

“He’ll find out, and I’d rather not get yelled at,” Jack responded. The bell rang for your third to last period and Jack looked up at the ceiling, kissed your cheek, and left for his own class. You walked to your own, grateful that at least you’d have some company.

You pulled into the driveway at half past three, knowing your dad was already gone, and were greeted by Dodger waiting for you at the door. You kneeled down and pet him before letting him out to the gated backyard. And, knowing Jack would be over right after football practice, you went and took a long, hot shower. You weren’t trying to seduce him, you were seventeen, but you still wanted to look prettier than you did earlier. You knew your plan was working when Jack walked in the back door, since he parked his car at the park down the street so your dad wouldn’t figure it out. Honestly, he probably would, but Jack would be gone by the time he got home.

“Can I borrow your books?” He asked as he walked up behind you, kissing your shoulder.

“You actually want to do homework?” You pouted a little, watching as he kneeled down to pet Dodger.

“That’s why I’m here,” he winked.

“Come on. I’m setting an alarm for nine so you can be long gone by the time my dad gets back.” You walked up the stairs, watching as he picked Dodger up to bring him too. You swore both your dad and Jack loved the dog more than they loved you. He dropped the dog down at your bedroom door, watching as the dog made his way over to the little dog bed beside yours.

“I’m getting in bed,” you announced, crossing your arms. “Feel free to join me.” Your boyfriend laughed.

“You do that. I’ll be over in a second.” You gave him a sly smile, knowing you were about to get what you wanted. In a few minutes you had your headphones in and were avoiding homework by watching Netflix, while he was beside you using your lap as a way to prop up a textbook.

You must have fallen asleep, because the next time you woke up, Jack was shaking you. It was dark outside, your phone was dead, and you glanced over at the digital alarm clock on your nightstand. You sat up, hearing the familiar noise of your dad shutting a car door. Jack looked alarmed, probably because there was no way out of the house if your dad was there. The only way to get back to his car was to go out the front door, where your dad was.

“Oh my God,” you sighed. “You should’ve plugged in my phone or woken me up, or…”

“I forgot what time it was! And you were sleeping really well,” Jack tried to say.

“Ugh, just get under my bed! And pull the skirt over you!” You shoved him away and stood up, listening as the key started fumbling in the front door. Even after living in that house all your life, your dad could still not work the keys. You watched Jack crawl underneath the bed, saw his backpack, and threw a folded blanket over it to hide it. And then you sat in the middle of the bed, plugging your phone in, and tried to act innocent.

“Sweetie?” You heard your dad call up to you. The smell of fast food wafted to your nose, making you realize how hungry you were, and you heard his footsteps on the carpeted stairs. You looked down again, hoping that Jack underneath the bed wasn’t noticeable.

“Hey!” You called at him as he entered the doorway to your room. You could smell Jack’s cologne a little bit, but you were wearing one of his old t-shirts so it could have just been that. If you didn’t stop acting paranoid, your dad would definitely find out. Your dad appeared in the doorway to your room holding a bag of food and a drink.

“Hey, how was school?” He asked.

“Fine,” you shrugged. “How was Don?” Your dad walked over to you and handed you the bag of food. You tipped your head when you realized there were two burgers and three sets of fries in there, almost like…

“Good.”

“Why’s there so much food then?” You asked, confused.

“I was halfway home when I realized I forgot to get you anything. And I drove past the park and saw Jack’s car. By the way, Jack, how’s your mom doing after the surgery?” You froze, eyes going wide, as you heard motion under the bed.

“She’s good!” Jack called. You shut your eyes, sighing, ready for punishment. “Thanks for the food, Mr. Evans.”

“Yeah, just ask me next time instead of sneaking guys into your room and under your bed that I know you haven’t cleaned in ages,” your dad sighed. “Jack, if you’d like to come out, you’re welcome to eat here before I drive you back to your car.”

“But… but we…” You stuttered. “What?”

“You’re talking to the king of sneaking girls into his room,” your dad said. “Oh, by the way, Jack, you can park your car in the driveway next time. Just make sure there’s room for me.” He winked at Jack, causing you to look over as he emerged from the bed. You felt your cheeks going pink.

“Yes, sir.”

“Also, did anyone feed the dog? Or were you two busy taking naps?”

#chris evans fluff #chris evans imagine #chris evans x daughter!reader #chris evans x teen!reader

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Episode 1: Marvel and MCU Easter Eggs

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This article contains Marvel’s The Falcon and the Winter Soldier episode 1 spoilers, possibly spoilers for future episodes, and the wider MCU. We have a spoiler free review here.

Marvel’s The Falcon and the Winter Soldier episode 1 has finally arrived on Disney+. Now, those of you hoping for mystery box storytelling and surreal weirdness the likes of which we got from WandaVision may be a little disappointed. But those of you looking for some gritty street-and-spy-level action with a deeper look at life in the post-Snap/Blip MCU, well, you’re in luck.

Oh? But you’re here for Marvel Comics and MCU Easter eggs, you say? Well, you’re still in luck, friend! The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is full of subtle nods to Marvel and Captain America history, and continues to connect the dots in the ever-expanding MCU.

Here’s everything we found…and if you spot something we missed, let us know in the comments!

Sam Wilson

The stuff with Sam ironing his own shirt, or trying to help his sister get a small business loan is some real “the mundanity of superhero life” stuff that we rarely get a glimpse of in the movies, but that was such a hallmark of what separated Marvel Comics from their competitors in their early days.

In the MCU, Sam is from Louisiana. But in the comics, he was born and raised in Harlem, New York City.

Sam’s sister, Sarah Wilson, also known as Sarah Casper, was introduced back in Captain America #134 back in 1971, and created by Stan Lee and Gene Colan. She’s made only a few appearances over the decades and mainly exists for the novelty of having the patriotic superhero be known as “Uncle Sam.”

The boat that Sam’s sister maintains is named Paul and Darlene, named for their parents, and those were indeed the names of his parents in the pages of Marvel Comics.

Sam’s drop out of the back of the airplane at the start of the Captain Vassant rescue mission mirrors Steve’s in Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

The MCU’s version of Bubo is also back in action! Redwing is still very helpful during Sam’s “government contracts” it appears, as long as no one else messes with the drone’s wires. Also, Sam’s personal devotion to the Redwing drone is a nice nod to the fact that Redwing is a real falcon in the comics, and Sam’s pet/buddy.

Sam gets to have a sombre conversation with James “War Machine” Rhodes (Don Cheadle) in what is perhaps just the first of many unannounced The Falcon and the Winter Soldier appearances by other members of the MCU. We already know there will be a larger role for Sharon “Agent 13” Carter in later episodes. Who else might show up?

Bucky Barnes

Fittingly for his Marvel spinoff series, Bucky is introduced in the same way he was back in Captain America: The First Avenger – catching the tail end of an alleyway fight.

Bucky Barnes has now been pardoned for all the terrible crimes he committed, it’s quickly revealed. Doesn’t look like he’s pardoned himself, mind. Not by a long shot.

Bucky mentions having a sister. While it hasn’t been brought up much, he did have one in the comics. Rebecca Barnes was introduced in The Marvel Holiday Special #1 in a story written by Len Kaminski (hence the notebook Easter egg, which we’ll get to in a minute) and tremendously underrated ’90s comics artist Ron Lim. After the deaths of their parents, Bucky and Rebecca were separated. Her namesake was reintroduced during Heroes Reborn, where Rikki Barnes was Cap’s sidekick in Counter-Earth.

In Derek Landy’s new Falcon & Winter Soldier comics, Bucky has adopted a very chill white cat called Alpine. No sign of Alpine in episode one, but we refuse to give up hope.

Lieutenant Torres

The eager Lt. Torres (played by On My Block star Danny Ramirez) who clearly idolizes Sam appears to be none other than Joaquin Torres, who eventually took on the mantle of the Falcon in the comics. So if Sam is destined to become Captain America on this show, will Torres become his sidekick? We hope so!

Batroc

Just like at the start of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, we get a confrontation with Georges Batroc (ze leaper!), once again played by Georges St. Pierre. Batroc is such a cool but minor Cap villain, and we never need to spend a lot of time with him, but we do hope he keeps showing up from time to time for cool fight scenes, just like he does in the comics. It’s nice to see that while they’ll never give him his ridiculous comics costume, he’s wearing his comics-appropriate colors here.

The Flag-Smashers

The masked baddies of this episode are known as the Flag-Smashers, an organization who want to do away with all national borders. There’s lots of ways this show deals with the weirdness of the MCU after the Snap, but the increasing radicalization of underground supervillain groups appears to be one neat side effect.

They take their name from the comic book supervillain Flag-Smasher (singular). Flag-Smasher was created by Cap writer supreme Mark Gruenwald and artist Paul Neary back in 1985. The original Flag-Smasher was Karl Morgenthau (remember that name, we’ll come back to it in a second), and he was a non-powered costumed terrorist who led an organization known as ULTIMATUM, “The Underground Liberated Totally Integrated Mobile Army To Unite Mankind” (folks, ‘80s Captain America comics absolutely freakin’ RULE).

The woman handing out the Flag Smasher masks was tough to make out, but that appears to be was Erin Kellyman (Enfys Nest from Solo: A Star Wars Story) playing “Karli Morgenthau.” In other words, she’s probably the leader of the organization, not the big, scary dude with super soldier strength. But speaking of him…

The big scary guy is credited as “Dovich” and he’s played by Desmond Chiam. How did he get so strong? Well, the words “Power Broker Watching” appear in the credits, and the Power Broker was key to John Walker getting his super soldier strength, as well as several other minor Marvel characters. Remember what we said about how awesome ’80s Captain America comics are? You’re about to find out!

Sam’s crack about “bad guys” with “bad names” in regards to the Flag-Smashers also applies to real world nitwits who go around calling themselves names like “Proud Boys.”

Bucky’s Notebook

There are some standout names in Bucky’s notebook, notably L. Kaminski (probably ‘80s Marvel writer and editor Len Kaminski) and H. Zemo (as in Captain America: Civil War and this very show’s baddie Helmut Zemo).

We wrote more about those names here.

Captain America

In the Smithsonian exhibit where Sam and Rhodey chat, there are lots of artifacts from Steve’s life, mostly taken from the era of Captain America: The First Avenger like the Howling Commando uniforms, but there’s something else cool there: the actual cover of Captain America Comics #1 by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, the first appearance of the character. Remember, as part of the propaganda effort during the war to make Captain America a symbol of the wartime effort in the MCU, these comics were a thing. This means that Joe Simon and Jack Kirby also existed in the MCU, but their stories were meant to be chronicles about a real person.

Where’s Steve Rogers?

It seems that only a few people might know what really happened to Steve Rogers. Has Old Cap now passed on, or is he alive somewhere ready to make an appearance in the show at a later date? Many fans are still hoping for a Chris Evans cameo, and we’ve seen trailers for the series where Sam and Bucky apparently practice throwing Cap’s shield around out in the woods. Perhaps there’s a secluded cabin nearby…

The conspiracy theory about Captain America secretly watching us from the moon is likely a reference to Nick Fury in the comics. The events of Original Sin showed that Fury had been secretly waging wars on potential alien invaders for years. Uatu the Watcher put a series of events in motion so that he would die, but Fury’s immoral actions would be exposed. In the end, Fury was forced to become the new Watcher — the Unseen — and was imprisoned on the moon, looking over Earth as his new job. Coincidentally, Bucky took up his alien-fighting job in the aftermath.

It also feels a little like The Last Avengers Story, a dystopian Avengers comic from the mid-90s. It’s explained that at some point, Steve Rogers was President and was assassinated. In the final scene, it’s revealed that he’s been secretly recovering and has been watching over the world in a bunker.

Who is the New Captain America?

The new Captain America that we meet so briefly here is Wyatt Russell as John Walker. Who is John Walker, you ask? Well, John Walker was ALSO the new Captain America in the comics! But before that he was the reactionary supervillain known as the Super-Patriot. He took over the mantle of Captain America after the government decided they wanted Steve Rogers to be more of an employee and less a free agent symbol of liberty. After his time as Cap was up, John became the U.S.Agent. That’s all you’re gonna get out of us for now, for fear of spoilers.

You can read more about John Walker here.

Unanswered Questions

No, we don’t know who the L.A.F. are supposed to be, either.

The “government official” who introduces John Walker is played by Alphie Hyorth, and is simply credited as “government official” in the credits. That seems pretty suspicious to us, and we wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up being revealed with a recognizable Marvel Universe name like Henry Peter Gyrich or something down the line.

Names like Captain Vassant, Congressman Lockhart, Senator Atwood, or Bucky’s therapist Dr. Raynor appear to check out Marvel-wise.

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newagesispage · 3 years

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JULY 2021

THE RIB PAGE

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They are still uncovering statues on Easter Island.

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Everyone is talking about ‘Exterminate all the Brutes” from Raoul Peck.

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Vampire bats, prevalent in Latin America may be on the way to the U.S.

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What they call faith, I call strength.

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Criss angel will open CABLP, a restaurant in Overton, Nevada. The letters stand for breakfast, lunch and pizza and will include a free meal outreach program to help under privileged and pediatric cancer families.

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A fifth ocean in Antartica??** There have also found 4 new ocean species: Apolemia, Tegula Kusairo, Leptarma Biju and Duobrachium Sparksae.

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In China they have found a possible new species in a skull that is 140,000 years old.

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Why would Jeffrey Toobin be back at CNN?? Surely there are more young deserving talking heads around.

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The Keystone pipeline is dead.

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5,000 pounds of explosives were discovered in a home in South LA. LAPD seems to have detonated the fireworks in a truck right there in the neighborhood. They were too dangerous to transport but not enough to blow them up??? How stupid are these people??

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Days alert : So glad to see Clyde again even if it is only for a moment!! **BTW, I do not understand the Daytime Emmy noms this year as they relate to Days. I really was pulling for Victoria Koneful (Ciara) and she won but George DelHoya (Orpheus), Tamara Braun (Ava) and Cady McClain (Jennifer)??? I was shocked when Cady McClain won. I mean, she was so whiny. I question my own ability to judge a performance. In most categories, the winner was usually the one I thought was the worst option. I was happy for Max Gail and CBS Sunday Morning. Some performances were sure overlooked. What about James Read (Clyde), Paul Telfer (Xander), Bryan Dattilo (Lucas), Robert Scott Wilson (Ben), Daniel Kerr (Eli) and Lindsay Arnold (Allie) ?? As annoying as the Kristen character is and as long as it took me to get used to Stacy Haiduk in the role, she kicked ass this year. Did they even submit clips?? And, they are not often on but Tony and Anna forever!!!!!!** And how wonderful is it to see the Dimera boys all together and recounting the whole fam for the votes? **And one more thing, Days was not even nominated for writing while Bold and the Beautiful spends every other show with the Liam character standing in front of the fireplace making excuses for the same shit! Just push repeat, C,mon!!**Philip had a great line for Brady about following Kristen like a zombie.** Dis Eli really say, “Peacock and chill??’ Are these the things they will have to do to do to stay on the air? It took me right out of the show. It was the same day the ads for Days on Peacock started. OMG

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Texas Gov. Abbott vetoed a bill that would make it illegal to chain up dogs without water.**ATexas churches have lost their 501(c) (3) status because it actively ‘educates’ its members on electing specific Republican politicians. –Pete West* This should have been happening long ago. Many churches I know of do this and should not be allowed to have it both ways. #tax the church

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Ellen Burstyn, Jane Curtin, Loretta Devine, Christopher Lloyd, James Caan, French Stewart and Ann-Margaret in Queen Bees and directed by Michael Lembeck?? Yes please!!

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NY has suspended Giuliani’s law license.

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Miracle Workers: The Oregon Trail is coming to TBS, this will be season 3 in the series.

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What is this about Bowen Yang?? A podcast about a sperm bank heist?? Yeow!!

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David Geffen has given $150,000,000 to Yale drama school: Every student will be tuition- free in perpetuity.

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Allison Mack was sentenced to 3 years.

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The latest in sexual assault news: James Franco has agreed to 2.2 mil settlement in sexual misconduct case.** Kyle Massey was charged with immoral communication with a minor.**Bill Cosby is out and here are some reactions: A terrible wrong is being righted.: a miscarriage of justice is corrected. I fully support survivors of sexual assault coming forward.- Phylicia Rashad*I really don’t ever want to hear again as to why many survivors don’t report their rape or assault.- Charlotte Clymer* Women are showing great restraint in not burning everything to the ground right now and I don’t know how they do it.-Jeff Tiedrich

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Amazon is making a series of A League of Their Own with Nick Offerman as the coach.

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Does anyone else have family members that are rich, transient, know it all snobs??

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It looks like New York’s ranked choice voting is leaning toward Eric Adams for Mayor.

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Michigan republicans investigating voter fraud found 2 incidents. One is for a lady who voted by mail and then died, the other was confusion over a man who had the same name as his Father. That was it!

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Jamie Lee Curtis will get the Golden Lion for lifetime achievement at the 78th Venice International Film Fest in September.

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Jerry Seinfeld will star in and direct ‘Unfrosted’ about Pop-Tarts.

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Why is Airbnb still listing properties in illegal settlements and outposts in Palestinian occupied territories? –James J. Zogby

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Merrick Garland has announced that the Justice department sued Georgia over the voting rights.

*****

The NFL says that it will halt the use of “race norming” which assumed black players started out with lower cognitive functioning in a $1 billion settlement of brain injury claims. The practice had made it harder for black players to qualify. –The Associated Press.

*****

Scary Clown 45 ended his ‘From the desk of Donald J. Trump’ blog after 29 days. Word is that he felt he was being mocked in the media.

*****

Religious leadership keeps engaging in partisan politics on behalf of politicians that are particularly unpopular with younger people and they wonder why younger people are disenchanted with the church. – Schooley ** Give young people credit as well for seeing through the hype and lies of these religious hypocrites who use God only as a weapon and a threat. –Larry Charles

*****

Amazon will stop drug testing for employment. Can every other company jump on this bandwagon? Let’s judge employees on the work they give.

*****

The Backstreet Boys and NSync are going to work together??!!

*****

Showtime is bringing back American Gigolo with Jon Bernthal.

*****

If Biden can carry out air strikes without proper authorization, the Senate can raise the minimum wage without the Parliamentarian. –Alexandra M. Hunt

Reality Winner is out!!

*****

Judy Woodruff has been given the Peabody award for journalistic integrity.

*****

Donald Glover is bringing us Hive. Malia Obama will be a writer.

*****

Nicholas Cage has married Riko Shibata.

*****

Catch and Kill: The podcast tapes, is here on HBO.

*****

Bryan Cranston and Annette Bening will star in Jerry and Marge go large.

*****

Amblin Partners and Netflix are partners.

*****

Fall 2022 will bring the Roybal School of film and television production for underserved communities. They are looking to help 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade students. Among others, the program was cofounded by George Clooney, Don Cheadle, Kerry Washington, Mindy Kaling and Eva Longoria.

*****

Will there be a Wedding Crashers2??

*****

The Mysterious Benedict Society stars Tony Hale.** I would love to see he and Danny Pudi in something together.

*****

Actor Stephen Amell from Arrow was removed from a plane after getting into it with his wife. A source said he was drunk and screaming. An official source said that they removed “an unruly customer.”** Andy Dick was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon, allegedly assaulting his partner, Lucas with a metal chair.

*****

So.. Fox news was digitally altering the faces of people they did not care for??? Is there no end to their bullshit????

*****

Mark Ronson is set to marry Grace Gummer.

*****

Crime shows seem to be in the cycle of prisoners and the women who get a thrill from helping them escape.

*****

Wolfgang Van Halen has released a debut album: Mammoth

*****

Everyone seems to love Danny Trejo’s memoir and its honesty.

*****

David Spade will take over as host of Bachelor in Paradise.

*****

I am sickened when I see the first question that pops up on an online search is the net worth of a person. Oh this twisted world.

*****

Life is a short pause between 2 great mysteries. –Jung

*****

Prince Harry and Meghan had a daughter that they named Lilibet ‘Lili” Diana.

*****

Michael Flynn’s brother Charles (who withheld help from the capitol on Jan. 6), leads the U.S. Army Pacific and commands 90,000 troops.

*****

I am so excited to read ‘The Boys’ from Clint and Ron Howard, due out in October.

*****

Dave Chappelle closed out the Tribeca film fest with a surprise concert. This was the first in person film fest since Covid. Look for This time, this place which premiered there.

*****

Ron Wood will release the album Mr. Luck: A tribute to Jimmy Reed on Sept. 3

*****

Howard Stern signed a new $500 mil contract with Sirius XM. He is taking the whole summer off and many fans say they will cancel their subscription because they don’t want to pay for a summer of reruns.

*****

Acorn will bring Jane Seymour back to a series. Seymour will be co -executive produce on Harry Wild. Her character will be a retired University professor who loves her whiskey and solves crimes.

*****

Annie Murphy stasr in ‘Kevin can f*** himself about a sitcom wife which airs on AMC.

*****

I still do not understand why Rep. Mike Nearman hasn’t been arrested for letting insurrectionists into the Capitol.

*****

There is a wing shortage??

*****

The Pulitzer prizes have been announced. The list includes Ben Faub, Barry Blitt, Katori Hall, Emilio Morenatti, AP photographers Marcio Jose Sanchez, Alex Brandon, David Goldman, Julio Cortez, John Minchillo, Frank Franklin II, Ringo H.W. Chiu, Evan Vucci, Mike Stewart and Noah Berger. There was a special citation for Darnella Frazier who filmed the death of George Floyd.

*****

Conan’s last TBS guests were Martin Short, Jack Black, Bill Hader, Mila Kunis, Dana Carvey, Patton Oswalt and JB Smoove. There were some surprises. The big musical number never happened when Jack Black hurt himself. It was all funny and sweet but Conan never mentioned the band in the last show WTF????????????????????????????????????????? Music is so important to him and he does not thank the band? ** Colbert and Brian Stack gave Conan a cute send after4, 368 shows on CBS calling him a ‘Slenderman Ron Weasly’. Kimmel wished Conn well also.** Hope his HBO MAX variety show goes well.** BTW, the Duvall interview with Colbert was great to see but why does nobody ever mention ‘Get Low?’ What a performance!!

*****

Tattoos are on the rise.

*****

Fast food drive thru’s sometime close with fake excuses like the equipment is down or something because they don’t feel like working. Good people can’t find work and so many waste the opportunities they have. AAAAGHH!!

*****

Valerie Bertinelli and Demi Lovato will star in ‘Hungry’ on NBC.

*****

Hulu will bring us David E. Kelley’s Nine Perfect Strangers with Nicole Kidman, Michael Shannon, Regina Hall, Bobby Cannavale and Melissa McCarthy.

*****

R.I.P. Gavin Macleod, Frank Bonner, Joy Vogelsang, Benigno Aquino, Champ Biden, victims of the Miami building collapse, Robert Sacchi, Stuart Damon, Johnny Solinger and Clarence Williams III.

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redspiderling · 4 years

Note

i really want black widow to perform well and as much as I'd like to believe it will, I fear that it will fall short due to the inevitable need for it to push the mcu forward. this is why we needed black widow to come out earlier so that by now, she'd have a completed triology that not only completes her arc but also can push forward phase 4. I don't see how a solo movie can do both. I'm scared that her story will be overshadowed by a storyline that pushes the mcu forward (aka thunderbolts)

Dear anon, listen.

This is the 3rd message along those lines I’ve received today. I know it’s annoying to see how awesome things could have been, and I know we’re all really worried and stressed, and the film getting postponed hasn’t helped at all. But there are issues here much greater than story arcs to be honest.

We need to discuss the reality of discrimination, racism and sexism in Hollywood and what it really means beyond the pointless twitter rage.

There are so, so many things that happen behind closed doors, and not even half of it reaches our ears. And even that is enough to allow me to tell you with absolute certainty that there is no way we would have gotten a Black Widow movie anytime before now, and that even now it’s a miracle that we’re getting it.

Let me start with who was the boss at Marvel HQ until 2015, a man who even up until last year had a great deal of creative influence at the studio even if he wasn’t calling the shots anymore. A man by the name of Isaac Perlmutter.

Here are a select few headlines the man, and Disney’s gender and race politics in general, have made over the years.

“[...]The first movie featured an African-American actor, Terrence Howard, as Colonel Jim Rhodes. Don Cheadle, another African-American actor, was hired for the same part in the sequel at a cheaper price. Mr Perlmutter apparently told Mr Mooney the change cut costs. He allegedly added words to the effect that no one would notice because black people "look the same".

3 African American Female Executives fired from Marvel and seek legal settlements. Link 1 Link 2 Link 3. (You will notice that most of these articles forget to mention that the women were African American, which is significant given how big a racist Isaac Perlmutter is known to be. Plus, I had to dig really deep into google news to actually unearth these).

A Suit Against Disney Claims Unequal Pay for Women

Another woman joins gender pay lawsuit against Disney

Why Rich Ross Was Fired At Disney: What Does It Say About Bob Iger's Leadership? “He had an ‘awareness’ issue,” a Disney source explains to me.

Marvel’s Trump Donor Ex-CEO Is the Reason There Was no Black Widow Merchandise

Marvel CEO Says in Leaked Email That Female Superhero Movies Have Been a 'Disaster'

I know we all have our reasons, lots and lots of reasons, on why it would have made sense for a Black Widow solo film to have happened years ago. I’d like an origin story before Iron Man 2 for example. But that was never in the cards, ok?

It was never an option and it’s not like Scarlett didn’t try.

Why do you think she made Lucy in 2014?

Or said yes to Ghost in the Shell around the same time Margot Robbie dropped the project due to scheduling issues (circa 2014-2015)?

Because of the awesome script?

Maybe because she wanted to steal roles from minorities?

Hell no. She wanted to prove the simple fact that she -a woman- could star, alone, in a film and still bring in box office results, ok?

Scarlett already told us just how shitty things were behind closed doors back in 2015 when they gave her that disgusting storyline in AoU, and were trying to block Captain Marvel from happening.

Ok, phew.

Sorry about that anon, it’s getting a bit much reading all the crap that’s happening and all the shitty people that run away with being shitty people (and getting tons of money out of it too).

Lets move on to the storyline of the Black Widow film that we are miraculously getting now.

There is always the possibility that they will include some elements to push forward the MCU, but I think they’ll keep those for the end credits scene, mostly. From what I’ve seen in other MCU solo films, the do add these hints here and there, but there is always a dominant story at play, and you don’t want to lose the viewers by focusing too much on the sidelines of it.

Finally, like I’ve said before, I truly, honestly believe, that after all the shit Scarlett has gone through in these past 10 years, I am absolutely certain that she wouldn’t put herself through this if it weren’t worth her while. I’m not saying that it’s a given that the film will be good, ok? Nobody can guarantee that. But we can hope. If it makes you too stressed, don’t watch it opening day, or opening weekend. Get some feedback from some trusted friends, ok?

Stay strong anon. Oh and one last thing. After living though a toxic work environment like that, I’m pretty sure Scarlett would want Natasha’s film to be glorious. And she got a big win the day the film was announced. A really, really big one. So that’s something to celebrate, I think. Women really won that day at SDCC last year :)

#asks #ANONS #I really went off on this one #sorry anon! It really isn't you #it's me #I get so pissed off reading this crap #Perlmutter is a fucking piece of trash #oh #and a trump supporter #like #of course he is #*long sigh*#Marvel #Scarlett Johansson #the same vent

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fly-pow-bye · 4 years

Text

DuckTales 2017 - “Quack Pack!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Bob Snow

Storyboard by: Vince Aparo, Kristen Gish

Directed by: Tanner Johnson

TGIHD. Thank God It’s Hump Day.

Our episode begins with Huey preparing his Uncle Donald for his big family photo opportunity, an opportunity he never seems to have due to various mishaps. He hired a professional photographer, and even had him practice his million dollar smile. Huey says that nothing is going to stop this day from being ruined, and then Dewey, the one-liner-spewing stand-out sibling, shows up. We know he's the stand-out because the laugh track cheers as soon as he comes in. Yes, a laugh track, just like this series always had.

Some other characters show up, mostly to reintroduce them to the audience. We have Louie, the schemer who is currently trying make his mother jump off the roof and get people to pay to see it. Said mother is Della, a former moon-dweller who is perfectly fine with because she used to be on the moon, and will seemingly bring that up with almost every line of dialogue she has. Finally, we have Scrooge, the relatively down-to-Earth, no pun intended, person who knows this is ridiculous, though he does ponder if he can make a lot of money from that dangerous stunt before saying "no".

Instead, they have to get the study ready for the photo, something Scrooge promised he would have done already. Though he tells Donald that he would never break a family promise, the sweat he's wiping off his brow is telling a different story. He, Della, and Louie slowly back away into the office, and nobody is the wiser. Oh Scrooge, I’m sure he has some money related reason for it.

As they back away into the office, we get two more stand-out characters: Mrs. Beakley, who constantly has to deny being a spy despite coming in through one of those wires on the roof, and Webby, who introduces her grandmother as a professional spy. She's the quirky one!

At this point, Huey starts to think that something is very off with everything around him, and asks his Uncle Donald if he feels the same way. Donald turns to Huey, and responds in the familiar way we all know and love.

Donald: (clears throat) Well, everything seems perfectly normal to me!

Ah, Donald, with his distinctive voice by Don Cheadle; perfectly normal, and yet suave enough to make the laugh track cheer. See, everything is normal, from the way Donald Duck talks, to the laugh track laughing at even Dewey's cheesy one-liners, to the 90's TGIF sitcom-like establishing shot this scene started with. Nothing wrong at all...except for everything.

Yeah, if this is the first episode of DuckTales 2017 somebody watched, they're going to be very lost. I mean, people are saying this is an adventure show where they go all around the world, using their wits to fight criminals, monsters, and aliens, but this is a sitcom with a laugh track! There are some ways people could figure it out already, namely that cartoons would never use laugh tracks unironically, but it's good that this originally aired right after a normal episode.

After a really short version of the usual theme song that consists solely of "DuckTales, woo-oo" and a commercial break, we get the theme song showing off the cast of characters. This includes Launchpad McQuack, who even has his own rock band, the Crash Happies. In we end, we get our title screen: Quack Pack. Yes, this is what the show's called now, taking the name from the infamous DuckTales spinoff where they decided to age up Huey Dewey and Louie to teenagers.

Outside of the title and a very similar pose for the title shot, it doesn't take anything from that show, just the 90's sitcoms it was trying to ape. Huey, Dewey, and Louie are still kids, and the plot for this episode is kind of pedestrian compared to the teenaged siblings turning into superheroes and battling a planet-sized Uncle D who just wants them to clean their rooms while his rage makes him destroy the galaxy. Even the theme song is just instrumental soft rock. It is possible they felt lines like "I feel like quacking, so I think I will, I'm gonna quack quack quack until I get my fill" are too cheesy even for a parody.

As our episode truly begins, we meet another soon-to-be-beloved character, and one that isn't one of the familiar ones: Knox Quackington, that photographer Huey hired. He's an artiste, as described by Huey and himself, and he has the accent for the kind of stereotype that term was made for. Unfortunately for him, he describes himself as someone who uncovers the world's secrets, and Webby knows that could only mean he's a spy. That quirky character ends up taking him to a dark room, where she beats him up. Oh, Webby!

While this is happening, Scrooge decides to try to ready up that study.

Unfortunately, the study is in even worse shape than he imagined. Scrooge didn't want to pay for actual repairmen to fix his problems, and the problems just got worse and worse. I'm sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere. Louie responds that Scrooge's lack of responsibility legally makes him liable for his own lack of responsibility. He didn't really change much at all for this sitcom plot, huh.

Huey and Donald show up to see Scrooge's study in ruins, and Donald explains why he can't just go to a different room: this is the only room where the buttons glint in the way he wanted! Louie says, with sarcasm, that the button glint issue is so much more of an unsolvable problem than a broken room, and everyone just makes an "oh, Louie" pose as they pause for the laugh track. Huey is a bit more optimistic, as he happens to have a Junior Woodchuck Guidebook...

...a Guidebook that is completely blank. Donald speaking like a regular duck and the blank book makes him notice that the mysterious laughter that happens constantly doesn't seem to be coming from anyone in the room, and realizes something is very, very wrong. He runs out of the room as everyone else makes an "oh, Huey" pose as they pause for the laugh track.

This episode definitely gets the sitcom parody down to a T. They even have transitions where they're just dancing or flicking hearts from their smartphones. It reminds me of That 70's Show, and I don't watch enough sitcoms to know if there's an earlier example than that.

Distracting us from Huey slowly figuring out what's going on is Dewey doing what he does best: giving himself and Donald mohawks. Oh, that rascal, that's going to be a real problem for the photo op. Huey shows up only to see that they paused in place, because it's time for a commercial break. Of course, Huey is the only one aware enough to realize everything is getting darker. Plot important forth-wall jokes is this episodes forte.

After all the real commercials, because it would have been a missed opportunity if they didn't do a real commercial break there, we get a commercial for the fictional Pep, featuring a guy who's clearly played by the same actor as the photographer. If Disney XD didn't require "now back to the show" bumpers, this would have caught people a little off-guard. This ad specifically features him opening up a can of pep, causing a tidal wave of Pep. This actually becomes important later, though I won't go into detail.

We then cut to the channel ID, which is exactly like the old and current Disney Channel channel IDs. The big difference is instead to drawing Mickey ears, Dewey, the lovable breakout character everyone loves, is drawing a lamp. It's the kind of lamp that would hold some sort of djinn, and not the djinn that looks for found lamps, either! Also, it's the Baba network...hey, just like that Baba guy the show is now credited to! Hmm...

Huey, of course, managed to notice all of this, and he runs back to the study after Donald tries to convince him to get some rest. Meanwhile, Mr. Quackington is all tied up by Webby, thinking he is some sort of suspicious special agent, and has Launchpad keep an eye on him. This leads to Launchpad and his band thinking he's a different kind of agent. Those are all about as far as they get with those plots, to be honest; it mostly focuses on Huey's plight and a plot with a certain other character that will appear in a few more paragraphs from now.

Huey's plight is about why he's in this strange realm where people are constantly laughing at him. He then sees tiny versions of Randy and Johnny from the Ottoman Empire. No, I'm not going to do the joke this time. That's in the past, much like 3 tiered rating systems. Huey figures out that is is an ad, and the dominoes just drop from there as he realizes the guidebook he was holding was a prop, the room doesn't actually have any pipes, and one of the doors just leads to a brick wall.

Nobody is convinced, and they're just thinking he's going coo-coo. However, he does have a fool-proof plan: point to the fourth wall, which they only now notice is missing.

They see some lights and some strange creatures that look sort of like those hairless apes Ludwig Von Drake was warning us about, but that can't be it! This is definite proof, and they all take it. Glad they won't take the entire episode to realize this.

Meanwhile, Donald shaves off the mohawk, only for him to have a bald spot. What's only slightly better is that Webby, who wants a meat tenderizer for some "cute girl stuff", still doesn't want to tell Donald where the photographer went. What else could go wrong?, says Donald, clearly signalling for something to go wrong. Though, if anything, something is going to go very right for us, because what would a sitcom be without a guest star?

Appearing for the first time in DuckTales is Goofy. This is heavily based on the Goofy from Goof Troop and A Goofy Movie, even wearing the same outfit and making the same pose he does in the former's intro a few seconds later. Donald doesn't seem to think too highly of him, though, and the way he "borrows" some ketchup by squirting it into what I hope is his pocket is not helping matters. Nonetheless, his appearance is just like one would imagine an appearance of Goofy would be like in DuckTales.

He does fit into the photography plot pretty well, as his job in this appearance is a photographer, but I'm more willing to focus on how Goofy is also someone who notices a change in Donald. Maybe it might be something else, but I'd like to think that Goofy is more familiar with Donald's usual voice. As in, he's a real person and not just a construct of whatever this is. There's hints of this throughout the episode, and we did get to see Roxanne and Powerline before, so it's not that much of a stretch.

It doesn't take long for the A plot of Huey dealing with this strange realm he's in and the B plot of the kidnapped photographer to crash into each other. I mean that literally, too, as Team Believes They're In A TV Show collides with Team Gotta Impress The Agent as the floor of the study collapses right into the room the photographer was kept in.

Slowly but surely, Huey convinces the rest of the people that something is wrong by simply saying that they should be going on an adventure. This is supposed to be an adventure series with an adventurer, and the biggest adventurer of them all, Scrooge McDuck, realizes it, too. However, he has no idea what would happen to get them into this realm.

Dewey: If only I could remember... (scratches his chin)

Everyone notices the world around them swirl around, and they panic until it stops. Huey tells them that this is a flashback, and they could use this power to try to figure out how they got into this mess in the first place.

At this point, Donald is the only one that thinks trying to get out of this world is just a waste of time, even stating that they should get back to the plot, er, photo. Yes, in that way. At this point, it was pretty obvious who is the culprit, but this scene in particular reveals a different co-culprit.

Finally, we get to see what was really happening: during an adventure to find the lost lamp of Collie Baba, they were stuck in a trap involving a ton of scorpions. Donald, in the barely comprehensible voice we all know and remember, decides to wish to himself that he would have normal family problems.

Donald's actions in this episode do make sense. Even though one of the main reasons why Donald Duck gave up on adventuring has been resolved, one cannot help that Donald just wants to be with his family, doing family things, and not getting into adventures that may risk his and his nephew's lives. I'd imagine being kidnapped by Moonlanders would do that to a guy.

After they get out of the flashback, they notice that the photographer is slowly trying to leave the room, and everyone knows at this point that this guy is not who he says he is. I mean, we got to see him quite clearly in that flashback.

The photographer is revealed to be Gene the Genie. We managed to get two rebooted characters out of Treasure of the Lost Lamp, and somehow they're completely separate from each other. He's here to make his master's wishes come true, and that master happens to be Donald. Donald still has two more wishes, and he could use his second to undo the first. One problem: he loves it here.

We also learn the reason why this show is dated: he hasn't been out of the lamp since 1990. This is another nod to Treasure of the Lost Lamp, as that was its release year. Goof Troop was a few years after that year, but I'll let that pass. What I might not let pass is the sheer amount of internet references, something that wasn't too widespread in 1990. Huey sure wouldn't have his emoji hat, also. Maybe their modern technology combined with Gene's sitcom world, but I felt that was a little missed opportunity to see some time-related shock.

Anachronisms aside, I have to mention this particular scene when the siblings ask how long they're going to stay in this realm if Donald decides against ever letting them out.

Gene: Probably at least three seasons, plus spinoffs. And I assume they'll reboot the show eventually!

It's pretty obvious why that line stood out. He really must be stuck in the past; most reboots are softer and rounder nowadays. I'd say more, but I'm trying not to fill that "YOU-KNOW-WHAT potshot" jar.

They want to go home, forget the three seasons, the spinoffs, and the dark and gritty reboots. Not speaking of softer in any sense of the word, that line does not go too well for those fourth wall dwellers...

...and we get our answer to how the ducks would react to hairless apes in the same universe as they are. Granted, when they're all grinning these horrifying open mouthed grins, it would make even people in this universe shudder. I know I am!

We get this big scene where they beat up the humans while they wait for Donald to come to his senses and wish them out of here. I'm not going to describe this scene in detail because there's just so much here. The mentioning of different episodes, the realm trying to fix itself, and a big rotation scene, pictured, that was put to good use in the trailers.

Another line in particular that stood out for me: Louie says that the episode where his pet snake gets loose isn't a well written plot. Gene tells him everyone's a critic. I can't help but feel that one.

I will mention that we do get to see Goofy have a parent-to-uncle talk with Donald, and, yes, this leads to even more for the Goof Troop/A Goofy Movie fans. This is a very pivotal moment in the plot, and it's all because of the guest star. Honestly, even if they're trying to get out of the sitcom, that is a very sitcom thing to do!

It shouldn't be much of a spoiler to reveal that they do manage to get out of the sitcom universe. We got a F.O.W.L. plotline to get to. How exactly do they do it? Does Donald get his two other wishes? Go watch the episode and find out for yourself, but I'll say that it is satisfying.

How does it stack up?

This is a very interesting and very funny episode. Purists may be a little upset by this episode focusing more on mimicking the 90's than take any inspiration from the comics, but this is a good tribute to the era. It all hold up together, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Fantastic episode, 5 Scrooges.

Next, we finally get to that F.O.W.L. plot, not so oddly enough!

← Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks! 🦆 Double-O-Duck in You Only Crash Twice! →

#fpb dt 2017 #ducktales 2017 #ducktales #fpb reviews #disney

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yasbxxgie · 4 years

Video

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Breaking Bones, Breaking Barriers: Black Stuntmen Honored at African American History Museum

Greg Wayne Elam knows what it’s like to face adversity.

In 1976, he was a strapping 29-year-old stuntman trying to make his mark in Hollywood. While on the set of the film “King Kong” he was charged with scaling a 60-foot telephone pole, dressed only in a loincloth. Elam gradually inched his way up the narrow structure, only to learn that the stabilizing safety device that the stunt coordinator had assured him would be at the top, was not there.

He had two options: plunge to the ground and risk losing the gig (not to mention, life or limb) or hold on for dear life. He chose the latter.

“I had on a G-string, it was the month of February and the wind was blowing and that pole was shaking,” remembers Elam, 69, with a chuckle. “I just held on tight. About two hours went by; it had gotten to a point where I didn’t have any circulation left in my legs. I couldn’t feel my legs at all.”

As if the situation couldn’t get worse, the crew filmed his scene from various angles and then went on to shoot others without signaling to Elam that he was cleared to come down. Fellow black stuntmen Ernie Robinson and Richard Washington ultimately came to his rescue on the set, helping him down with a crane-like device known as a scissor lift.

“They weren’t hiring black stuntmen in Hollywood back then, so when we did get work they would challenge us on the set,” recalls Elam, of Orange County, California, who went on to snag high-profile stunt work for popular black stars Michael Jackson, Richard Pryor and Gregory Hines among others. “We just took the challenge until they recognized us as stuntmen. We fought for the right to have equal opportunity. We didn’t do it for glory, we did it because it was the right thing to do.”

Elam and fellow members of the Black Stuntmen's Association (BSA) – many of whom had also endured overt racial discrimination in the film and television industry: such as threats of physical harm, name calling and being shut out of jobs altogether – were formally honored at the Sept. 24 grand opening of the Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History and Culture.

BSA memorabilia, props, photos and news articles are featured in the entertainment-themed “Taking The Stage” exhibit. Members of the group hope to meet President and Mrs. Obama who are both scheduled to attend and make remarks at the star-studded affair at the National Mall's newest landmark museum.

“The Smithsonian? This is just unbelievable,” gushes Stone Mountain, Ga.- based character actor Alexander Folk, 70, who bonded with BSA members during his brief stint as a stuntman in the 80s. “When we were working out and doing stunts together, never did we think in our wildest dreams that something like this would come. That’s where not giving up comes into play. This honor is a testament to the fact that your wildest dreams will come to pass if you don’t give up. This honor is long overdue.”

A group of 25 black stuntmen came together in 1967 to found the BSA, which celebrates its 50th anniversary next year, in an effort to generate jobs for African American stuntmen. It also provided a safe space for stuntmen – and eventually stuntwomen of all races too – to bond, vent, network and hone their craft.

When the BSA took legal action against the major motion picture studios 40 years ago their main goal was to eradicate the widespread practice known as “painting down” in which white male actors essentially wore blackface. Stuntmen dressed up as women often stood in for actresses, leaving many stuntwomen unemployed too.

BSA members filed Equal Employment Opportunity charges against the major studios in 1976 and ultimately secured a settlement agreement. As a result of their groundbreaking lawsuit, current BSA head Willie Harris says the major studios, including Paramount, Fox, Disney, and Warner Bros. were forced to pay stunt performers of color an undisclosed amount of money in damages.

U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, a former Equal Employment Opportunity Commission chief, actually helped them secure the lawyer who argued the case.

“Even though the black stuntmen fought tirelessly to get the major studios to end this disgraceful and racist practice some 40 years ago, as recently as 2014, Warner Bros. was slammed for painting down a white [stuntwoman] on the set of the show 'Gotham.' This is Hollywood’s dirty little secret that they don’t want you to know,” said Nonie L. Robinson, granddaughter of late BSA Founding President Robinson, who is best known for his stunts on the “Miami Vice" television series, as well as the films “King Kong,” the original “Planet of the Apes" and "Greased Lightning.”

“When we started there were no black producers, cameramen, directors, makeup artists and lots of other positions,” asserts Harris, 75, of Las Vegas. “After our lawsuit the big studios had no choice but to start hiring them too. When the Civil Rights Movement was going on in this country, we were doing the same kind of fight in Hollywood and we won. We were the pioneers; we changed the industry for the better. Because of us, folks like Denzel [Washington], Samuel [Jackson], Will [Smith], Jamie [Foxx] Morgan Freeman and Tyler Perry now have access to better roles.”

Three years earlier, in 1973, the BSA took on American Honda Motor Co. Inc., accusing the company of refusing to hire black actors and stuntmen for its television commercials. The job discrimination lawsuit, which was endorsed by the United Auto Workers Union, asserted that over a three-year period, only three black performers out of 120 were used in 27 Honda motorcycle commercials aired on television. Honda reps formally denied any wrongdoing, but Harris says a spokesperson pointedly told their lawyer, “blacks didn’t show a good image on television.”

Harris says embattled actor and comedian of late Bill Cosby is widely lauded as being the first of the major black Hollywood stars – an exceptionally small number at the time – to demand that a black stuntman be hired to double for him on the set of his 60’s era television series “I, Spy.” Actors Harry Belafonte, Lou Gossett Jr. and Sidney Poitier also reportedly pushed for inclusion.

The BSA is also known for promoting equality for stuntwomen, ultimately becoming the first professional organization of its kind to invite women of all hues to join. “You can call it a movement, a struggle or a fight, but overall [the BSA] was about increasing opportunities for African Americans in the entertainment industry,” says veteran stuntwoman Jadie David, 66, who worked as actress Pam Grier’s stunt double during the blaxploitation film era. “It was called the Black Stuntmen’s Association, but their fight evolved to include people of color, women and all marginalized people in the entertainment industry.”

Robinson, of Los Angeles, will be joining the BSA “pioneers” during their trip to D.C. to shoot footage for a documentary she is working on, chronicling their “untold” and “courageous” story of breaking down “the barriers of race and gender in Hollywood against incredible and dangerous odds.”

“Many times they didn’t have the proper safety equipment or airbags; they literally put their lives on the line every day,” adds Robinson. “Once they got on those sets, they didn’t know if they would make it home [alive] or not. They paid a high price for inclusion.”

Robinson says famed music producer Quincy Jones is executive producer for the aptly titled “Breaking Bones, Breaking Barriers,” which Robinson is producing with Cecilia Peck, the film’s director and daughter of famed actor Gregory Peck. The full-length feature is set to be released in 2017 and will include interviews with BSA members, activists, journalists, Smithsonian reps and Academy Award-winning actors Gossett Jr. and Whoopi Goldberg.

In 2012, the BSA received an NAACP Image Award; state legislators in California, Mississippi and Nevada have also celebrated the organization. Most members agree, however, that being a part of a Smithsonian exhibit feels like a once-in-a-lifetime honor.

As for Elam, it seems he landed on his feet in more ways than one, when he managed to get down that telephone pole 40 years ago. He went into full retirement in 2010, after many years working as a stuntman, leading a highly-sought-after stunt training class and also working as the stunt coordinator for many films, including “Deep Cover,” “Hoodlum” and “The Color Purple.”

He has officially passed the torch; all three of his adult sons, Ousaun, Kiante and Kofi now work as stuntmen for some of the most elite black film stars: Samuel Jackson, Morgan Freeman, Will Smith, Don Cheadle and Jamie Foxx.

Harris says he and his BSA colleagues take pride in knowing that they helped pave the way: “We were the ones who opened the door.”

[v]

Photographs:

The Black Stuntmen Association circa 1965

Stuntwoman Jadie David, bottom, hits the ground after jumping from a derailing rollercoaster during the filming of the 1977 film "RollerCoaster." The fall broke her back.

Pioneer Stuntman and Stunt Coordinator Ernie Robinson and Philip Michael Thomas on the set of "Miami Vice" in the 1980's

Pioneer Stuntman Ernie Robinson dressed as the character "Tubbs" from "Miami Vice", pictured with Edward James Olmos in the 1980's

Willie Harris and Alex Brown in 2016

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youngbugandtonystank · 4 years

Note

Why marvel fans love Pepper but hate gwyneth? Someone on twitter said she was the most unrelatable celeb ever and in a magazine, people labeled her the most hated woman on earth. Did she do something problematic? Or she a Trump supporter?

You know, years ago I was kinda curious as to why everyone hated her so much. She's listed as Hollywood's most hated actress too. She's always on one of those lists.

Why Do So Many People Hate Gwyneth Paltrow?

Gwyneth Paltrow is perfectly aware of how obnoxious she can seem

Gwyneth Paltrow responds to that time a magazine named her The Most Hated Celebrity in the World

Why does everyone hate Gwyneth Paltrow?

Gwyneth Paltrow on Being the Most Hated Celebrity

And the list goes on.

Some people think she practices some dangerous spiritual teachings and she's giving people the wrong information. They also think she heavily promotes and sells questionable things that could be potentially dangerous. In some sense, this is true because medical professionals have been asked to check the products over. The majority of them say the products are not backed up by science and state that these items are actually dangerous. I think that she looks like a scammer in the eyes of other people because she sometimes falsely advertises her business and products.

Some others say her cosmetics are way overpriced and really bad for your skin. I heard a drama about some healing stickers, etc. As a spiritual person myself, I can't really judge that much until I see her Netflix show so I can't really agree or disagree in this matter.

About the other things. After doing some investigation, I found out the real reason. At first, I thought it was some quirky personality trait but then I saw most of her interviews, press conferences, and her business promos. She's not a bad person but she's definitely a little out of touch. I'm guessing because she grew up in a wealthy environment, she rules out some stuff when talking about sensitive topics. I take her as a "Paris Hilton, Kim K, and Mariah Carey" personality type, you know? Like, she puts up on a funny sophisticated diva-like personality but she's different in private. It’s funny because some people hate her but have no problems buying Kylie’s overpriced products either. I buy their products, mostly because I love skincare and makeup but you don’t see me hating on them.

I once saw a comment under one of her interviews saying: ‘and after watching this you think this woman is not married to Tony Stark?’ hahahahah. And gotta say, she's really funny lmaooo the other day I saw her in her youtube cooking show section (part of the Goop brand, I guess), she was doing holiday snacks. She started saying that anyone could do the ‘simple’ recipes at home and that they were practical or something like that. After saying that, you'd think she was about to do some Christmas cookies or some family recipe, instead, she put caviar on a chip and put the ‘snack’ on a fancy white plate lmaooooooooo I died and went to heaven. You can imagine the rest of the ‘holiday snacks’ that followed after that one. I'm not exactly rich as hell but let's just say I'm doing great with my finances thanks to my job (I thank God for that every day) so I'm usually around people like her, and this is why I can tell she's not a bad person, just out of touch. And what do I mean by that? Let me give you an example, after doing her ‘holiday snack lmao’ she started talking about how caviar is not necessarily expensive, she said that you don't exactly have to sell a limb to buy it and proceeded to say that she always serves the same thing at parties and that it's easy and practical to make. You get what I mean? For her, it's not a problem because she can afford it but for others, of course, it is. These kinds of comments come off as self-absorbed for other people.

Another one, let's just put the children's hospital example this time, any other person would bring toys, medical support, or coloring books, someone like Gwyneth would bring expensive silk pillows, salty crackers, or scented vanilla candles lmao. I'm not saying she's doing it on purpose, I think she's not aware she's doing something inaccessible for others because she's always in that mindset/environment. For her, it's not something harmful. Same with the avengers thing, you have Tom Holland saying ‘thank you’ and ‘I'm lucky to be here’ every five seconds when talking about his experience in the franchise, Robert saying he wouldn't be where he is without the amazing actors surrounding him; always making sure to give them an opportunity to shine, Elizabeth Olsen moved to tears when a fan tells her that Wanda is her daily inspiration, Don Cheadle talking about how the Avengers movies have been the experience of a lifetime and how fortunate he is to be part of something so big. Gwyneth, on the other side, forgets she was even in the movies, gives spoilers without a filter in a movie that is the result of 11 years of hard work about her and Tony's characters (this is how I found out Morgan was real btw like months before the movie even if I also suspected they were going to do this years ago), and forgets her co-stars names to the point they have to reintroduce themselves to her LMFAO I get that the marvel franchise is not her entire life and focus, but I think you get the point I'm trying to make. Or, she could be doing this on purpose to troll her haters.

She always does that. With everything. You just have to watch some of her interviews and you're going to be able to tell.

Someone on twitter said she was the most unrelatable celeb ever

Some people get mad when their fave turns out to be different in real life. Those people can't separate the fictional character from the actor/actress. Of course, she's not going to be like Pepper, I get that but some stans irrationally hate her for practically breathing. I understand that some of her opinions and actions seem a little materialistic and pretentious but she's not attacking anyone in particular. It's annoying? Sure, sometimes. Who wants to hear someone talk about their wealthy lifestyle when discussing sensitive or normal topics? No one. People love someone who they can relate to but you gotta understand Gwyneth is not doing it because she thinks she's better than you. That's just how her lifestyle is. Waaaay different than ours. The same applies to the other actors. You really think we're closer to having Zendaya's lifestyle only because we can relate to some of her jokes, because she wears baggy hipster clothes or because she uses less expensive skincare products for a ‘go to bed with me’ harper's bazaar video? (I love those videos btw lmao) No sweetheart, after doing an interview or those vids, they get escorted by their private security guards to the limo/expensive car waiting for them with a chauffeur ready to drive them to a photoshoot with vogue. Is that your typical Tuesday? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Or that we're one and the same with Sebastian Stan because he eats burgers on Thursdays and watches Rick and Morty in pajamas? (no idea if this is true, just an example) No. Of course not. They're celebrities, they get paid for showing their faces to the public. A simple statement out of them can make people talk about them for days. A simple selfie can turn into a Twitter trend. They're human? Sure, we have to respect that 100% but their lifestyle is totally different and this is something we should be aware of too. So we can't really expect Gwyneth to act just like us. I'm sure most of us would act the same as her if we were born in gold and caviar.

I once defended her in a YouTube comment section and some dudebro got angry at me and called me an ‘obsessive pepper x tony’ fan. *stares at the camera like in the office* I don't even ship pepperony lmaooooo

And I don’t know if she’s a Trump supporter, I’m going to dig around to see if this is true.

So there you go, that's my opinion. And no, I don't care if you agree or not (this is not for you, op) it's an opinion, chill.

#gwyneth paltrow #pepper potts #marvel #sebastian stan #zendaya #goop #mcu #robert downey jr #tom holland

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psychosistr · 5 years

Text

The Third Caballero- Chapter 7

Summary: After their confusing and mildly disappointing/heart-breaking encounter with the strange duck in the old mansion, José and Panchito learn his story...well, at least..what there is TO know of it.

Notes: Finally going to be introducing another key character this chapter other than the caballeros x3 Also, just in case I didn’t make it clear enough in the last two chapters, Donald has the Don Cheadle voice from the season 1 finale just so he wouldn’t be instantly recognizable (and because, lets be honest, Don Cheadle singing the “Once Upon a December” song would sound better than regular Donald singing it xD)

-First Chapter-

<-Previous Chapter Next Chapter->

Managing to be the first one to somehow choke down all of the confusion and disappointment weighing down his tongue, José was the first one to break the awkward silence that was left to hang in the air after Panchito let go of the confused duck. “My apologies,” He began with a sad smile. “I am afraid we mistook you for someone else.”

“Y-Yeah.” Panchito said while rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “At first we thought you were a burglar, and then we thought you were..well..” He looked at the picture on the wall for a moment with a slightly sad smile of his own. “We thought..you were HIM…”

The duck frowned, rubbing the back of his head in an equally nervous way. “Um..yeah..sorry about that.” He grabbed his hat off of the ground and brushed the dust off of it. “If it helps anything- I’m not a burglar.” He gave a nervous smile and held up one hand to convey his honesty. “Promise. I just kind of..ended up here and wanted to get out of the rain for a bit. I didn’t know anyone lived here.”

Panchito recovered his usual brightness and laughed with a shake of his head. “Oh, we don’t live here.”

The duck looked between them, clearly confused. “You don’t? Then..are you..?”

“We are not robbers either, meu amigo.” José chuckled a little himself as he guessed the duck’s follow-up question. “We are in a similar position as you, I suppose. You see, our boat is in need of repairs and this house belongs to a relative of our friend, so we-”

“You have a boat?!” The duck asked, looking at José with big eyes filled with something akin to..hope? Relief? Desperation? He wasn’t sure, but the duck certainly looked eager.

“..Sim…?” José answered after a pause, a bit thrown off by the duck’s sudden change in mood.

“Have you ever been to America? What about Duckburg?!” He almost tripped again when he left Panchito’s side to stand in front of José instead, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Y-Yes, we have. Many times, in fact.” José leaned away slightly from the over-excited duck. “Why do you ask?”

“Can you please take me there?!” The duck asked while taking one of José’s hands in both of his own, looking at him pleadingly. “I have to get to Duckburg! I’ve been trying for years, but-but things just kept happening and-!” He fumbled with his words for a minute before reaching into his sweater and pulling out a small bag. “Here, I know it’s not much, but I can help pay for the trip!” He opened the bag and poured the contents- which happened to be a handful of gold coins- into his trembling hand. “I’ll help cook and clean and do repairs and whatever else you guys need me to do, just, please, I-!”

José frowned and put his hands on the duck’s shoulders gently but insistently. “Breathe, pato, BREATHE.” He said softly, concern for the stranger overriding his earlier discomfort from the other man’s proximity. He frowned when he felt how skinny the duck actually was under his clothes, the frown deepening when his thumb brushed against what felt like a bandage under the fabric- the suspicion confirmed when the duck in front of him winced slightly. “……” His frown softened into a smile and he patted the duck on his shoulder gently. “How about we get to know each other first, hm? We just finished having dinner and have plenty of leftovers. We can discuss transportation and everything else after we have become better acquainted. Isso soa bem?”

The duck hesitated for a moment before a growl from his stomach seemed to make the decision for him. He looked away, clearly embarrassed by the noise, but nodded. “Isso seria bom. Obrigado.”

José blinked with a surprised expression, not expecting the stranger to reply in such perfect Portuguese. This whole meeting was becoming more and more interesting…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After José set the food back on the stove to reheat, he returned to the bedroom with a bottle of water and offered it to the stranger, the trio taking a seat at the small table set by the room’s balcony so they could talk.

“Now then,” José said as he took his seat next to Panchito, across from the as-of-yet-unintroduced duck. “Let us start with some introductions. My name is José Carioca, but many of my friends call me Zé.”

Panchito went next, smiling at the duck seated across from them. “And I’m Panchito ‘Pistoles’ Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero Gonzalez III, but my friends call me Panchito.”

The duck uncapped the bottle of water given to him by José and took a sip before introducing himself. “Most people just call me Donato. Or Don, for short.”

José raised an eyebrow, picking up on the way the other bird worded his reply. “That is what they call you? Is it not your real name?”

Don looked down at the bottle in his hands with a slight frown. “Well..that’s the thing..” He frowned a little more while looking at his reflection in the plastic bottle. “I don’t know my real name. I…I can’t remember it…”

José frowned too. “You do not remember your own name?”

Don shook his head and looked back up at the pair seated across from him. “Nope. I don’t know my name, where I’m from, or anything else about myself. I just woke up a few years ago on a fishing boat somewhere near Brazil with no memories at all.”

“Near Brazil?” José asked curiously. That was quite a coincidence… “So that is how you know Portuguese?”

Don nodded with a slight smile. “The fishermen that pulled me out of the water were really nice, but they only knew Portuguese and I only knew English. Talking was pretty difficult for the first year, but we eventually figured it out. After I learned enough to talk to them, I asked them if they knew where Duckburg was- they told me it was all the way in America.” His smile fell slightly and his fingers went to the pendant around his neck. “They said they would try to get me there..but..our boat was attacked…” He gripped the pendant tightly in his fingers, the pain of that memory very clear on his face.

“Attacked?” Panchito gasped. “Who would attack such nice fishermen?!”

“Pirates.” Don answered, his frown turning into a scowl. “A pirate ship led by a horrible man called Capitán Karnage. He’s from a family of pirates that terrorize everyone from South America through Mexico.”

Panchito shook his head with a frown. “I have heard of that family- they once tried to attack the ship my father sailed on when he travelled to Havana. He beat them back, but he always warned our family to be careful on the seas..”

“And in the skies.” José added while folding his arms. “There is a pirate by the name of Don Karnage that my own family has run into before- he attacks planes and robs the passengers of their valuables.” He looked back at Don with a troubled frown. “If this Karnage is anything like the rest of his family, I imagine things did not go well. What happened?”

Don took a deep breath to calm himself and another sip of water before he spoke. “He attacked our boat..and..when we told him we didn’t have any treasure, he threatened to make us walk the plank. I fought him off long enough for the fishermen to get away, and, to make sure he didn’t follow them, I told him I’d work for him as long as he left them alone.” Don sighed heavily, one hand going up to press against the bandaged spot that José felt earlier. “I’ve been stuck as a prisoner on that ship for the past couple of years. I actually just escaped today..” He smiled slightly and gave a small laugh. “When you guys kicked in the door, I thought for sure they’d found me and..I was gonna be dragged back…or worse…”

“……” Panchito and José frowned more, feeling horrible for jumping to conclusions and terrifying someone who had already endured so much.

Clearing his throat to break the silence again, José looked across the table at Don with a soft smile. “You have quite a remarkable story, meu amigo. Would you mind if I asked you a couple of questions?”

Don looked back up at him curiously with a shake of his head. “Nope. Go ahead.”

José held up one finger to start with. “First, I wish to know about your name. Was it something the fishermen gave you?”

Don tapped his fingers against the table as he thought the question over. “Kind of..? Once I started to understand Portuguese, they asked me what my name was. I couldn’t remember it, but something told me it had ‘Don’ in it. So, they started calling me ‘Donato’, kind of as a joke since I was ‘given’ to them by the sea.”

“Hmh, I see.” José said with a slight chuckle at the Latin joke. “Now, my second question..” He looked at Don seriously. “Have you been to Bahia, Donato?”

“Bahia, Brazil?” Don thought that question over just as seriously. “Umm..not that I can remember..” He closed his eyes and counted off countries on his fingers as he muttered. “Started in Sao Paulo…stayed over in Santa Catarina…pit stop in Uruguay…crashed by the Falkland Islands…two weeks in Chile during the storm…that layover in Ecuador…crossed over Panama…a night in Belize…aaaand then here…” He opened his eyes and shook his head. “Nope, don’t remember going to Bahia. Then again, for me, that doesn’t mean much, huh?”

“I suppose not..” José said quietly, leaning his beak against his hand as he thought everything over. There were just so many odd coincidences… He looked back up at Don for his final question. “Lastly, I must know: Why is it so important that you go to Duckburg?”

Don looked back down at his necklace. “I think…I think I know someone there..” He hesitantly reached behind his head and untwisted the clasp so he could take it off, but still kept a firm grip on it as he turned it over to show the other two birds the inscription on the back of the pendant. “I’ve had this necklace since I woke up. I feel like it’s..it’s important to me. No matter what, I made sure to keep it with me and never let it out of my sight. It doesn’t look like my handwriting on the back, so, I figured, someone must have GIVEN this to me..and, whoever that person is, they might still be waiting for me in Duckburg.” He put the necklace back on and looked at them pleadingly. “I know it’s a long-shot..but..Duckburg is literally the ONLY lead I have right now. If I can get there, maybe I can find the person that gave me this necklace and they’ll know who I really am..”

José looked down, mulling over all of the information in his mind: A duck that looked just like Donald, but sounded completely different and with no memories of his past. He felt like his name contained the word ‘Don’ and was found at sea near Brazil. Not to mention the fact that he had some sort of connection to Duckburg and just HAPPENED to find his way to the mansion the one time he and Panchito were there.

That was far too much for this to be a mere coincidence: This was fate.

“¿Algo está mal, Zé?” He heard Panchito’s curious voice and turned to see the rooster looking at him with a tilt of his head.

José gave him a calm smile and shook his head. “Está tudo bem, querido.” He stood up from the table and pushed his chair in behind him. “Your food should be ready by now. I will be back in a few minutes.”

“O-Oh, um, thanks..” Don said with a quick nod of his head while watching José leave.

José partly closed the door behind himself and slowly made his way back to the kitchen. There was just so much information to process, he needed the time and space by himself to go over everything.

For starters, WHO was this “Don” person, in reality? He looked exactly like their missing Donald down to the smallest of details (aside from his apparent malnourishment, but that was easily chalked up to abuse from the pirates he’d been living with for the past couple of years), and the only thing that really seemed different about him was his voice. José didn’t feel like he was lying to them about who he was or what happened in his past, so that left them all equally confused about who he was.

Secondly, WHY was he there, of all places? Not just in the mansion, but in DONALD’S room. Out of every possible room he could have wandered into, he just happened to go into the one place that was most familiar to Donald. That felt like some sort of instinct- similar to an un-domesticated bird such as a pigeon finding its way back to a previous location.

Finally, there was the most important question on José’s mind: WHAT was this strange feeling that had been gnawing at him since setting foot in the mansion? He felt like something was happening around him- something bigger than just himself in a way that he had not felt since the loss of his magic. Maybe the gods were trying to send him a message? If they were, then what was it? This duck had to be connected to Donald in some way, but he wasn’t exactly sure HOW.

“……” He arrived in the kitchen and heaved a heavy sigh as he grabbed Don’s food from within the oven. “Ay caramba…” He muttered and rubbed tiredly at his eyes once the food was safely on the counter. “That bruxa was right: Some things are worse than death…”

He leaned heavily against the counter, lamenting- and certainly not for the first time in the past decade- the loss of his magic. If he had his powers, he could’ve had any number of ways to find Donald by now, or help this new person sort out his missing memories, or done literally ANYTHING to help those around him. He just felt so…so…useless.

He knew that wasn’t true, of course. He knew he was still clever and skilled and capable of many things. He could fight and make plans and cook and help in any number of ways..but, without his magic, it felt like he was missing a vital tool that made him even more useful to those around him and he hated it.

As if to distract from his melancholy mood, he felt a sudden buzzing in his pocket and heard samba music playing. Picking himself up off of the counter, he fished his phone out of his pocket and saw a name on the screen that he hadn’t even thought of in years.

Swiping his finger on the screen to answer the call, he held the phone closer to his head “Gladstone?”

He heard the Gander’s familiar, slightly-arrogant voice in the speaker. “Hey, hey, big Jo! Long time no speak! How’s it hangin’?”

“Fine, I suppose.” He tried not to cringe, but Gladstone’s attitude was a bit off-putting to him. He certainly understood why Donald wasn’t a fan of spending extended periods of time with his cousin. “It has been a while. Did you need something?”

“Straight to business, huh? I like that!” The overly-lucky guy said with a laugh before his tone shifted into something slightly more serious. “Actually, yeah, I did need something. Are you an’ ‘chito still looking for Donald?”

José frowned slightly at the question. “Of course we are- we never stopped.”

“Good, good.” Gladstone sounded pleased. “That is EXACTLY what I wanted to hear. So, you guys got any leads?”

José was about to say no, but he remembered Don waiting in the other room and decided to tell the truth. “…Maybe..” He shook his head slightly and decided to serve up Don’s food while he talked. “Why are you calling about this NOW, if I may ask?”

“Because I think that we can help each other out.” José could hear shifting on the other end of the line, as if Gladstone was sitting down and getting comfortable for the rest of the conversation. “You see, old Scroogie McDollarsigns and Dellsie are on the up-and-up, so Scrooge decided to start searching for Donald again.”

That was certainly news to José. Good news, but still surprising to hear.

“Really?” He questioned while holding the phone against his head with his shoulder so he could carry the food back towards the bedroom. “That is good to hear.”

“Oh yeah, definitely. What makes it even better to hear is that old McMoneybags is offering a reward to anyone with leads on poor Donnie. Pictures, phone calls, even guys that look like him- he’s offering like 50k a pop on that last one.” He paused for a moment and José could hear him shifting his position again. “Anyway, that’s why I called you. Well, actually I didn’t call you- I kinda dropped my phone and it just HAPPENED to call you. Pretty weird, huh?”

“Sim. Weird…” José was very familiar with how Gladstone’s luck worked. It was a very special kind of magic that, ultimately, only benefitted him, and often in ways that even Gladstone himself couldn’t always see.

“You said you guys have a lead, right? What is it?” Gladstone seemed to be done tip-toeing around the subject and got straight to the point.

José paused outside of the door to Donald’s old room where Panchito and Don were still talking inside. “……” He hesitated to say anything, wondering if it would be right to tell Gladstone, of all people, before the rest of Donald’s family. Then again, Gladstone’s luck was an odd phenomenon and there was likely a good reason why he just happened to call when he did. Perhaps this was also fate? “We..met someone that looks just like Donald.” He finally answered. “He sounds different and has no memory of who he is, but he thinks he knows someone in Duckburg and wants us to take him there.”

Gladstone hummed in thought, then was quiet for a moment. “Can you send me a pic?”

“Um momento.” José said before quietly prying the door open enough to peek inside without being seen. He had a clear view of Don and Panchito across the room and snapped a picture with his phone, standing back from the doorway before sending the picture to Gladstone. “That’s him.”

There was a ding on the other end when Gladstone received the picture, followed by a low whistle. “You weren’t kiddin’- the guy looks JUST like Donnie. Alright, how about a deal? You guys get him to Duckburg and we’ll split the reward money three ways? Sound good?”

“I..I do not know..it feels wrong…” José frowned at the proposition. Cashing in on not only their closest friend’s disappearance, but also this poor down-on-his-luck stranger’s odd situation? It felt like it would leave a bad taste in his mouth…

“Aw, c’mon, don’t look at it like that.” Gladstone urged him. “Think about it this way: You guys are probably strapped for cash right now, right?”

“…Yes..” José answered after a moment’s hesitation.

“And this guy REALLY wants to go to Duckburg, right?”

“…Yes…” José knew he had a point, but it still felt wrong..

“I’m not saying we lie to anyone here- all I’m suggesting is you bring him here and let Scrooge and Della take a look at him. If it turns out he’s got some sort of connection to Donald, great! If it turns out he doesn’t, then he still gets to come to Duckburg and we all get some easy money. It’s a win-win!”

“..I..suppose you are right..” It did sound like a fair trade, all things considered. “I will talk to him and Panchito about it and see what they think.”

“Woah, woah, woah!” Gladstone’s tone stopped him from ending the conversation. “You CANNOT tell that guy about the money.”

“Huh? Why not?” José asked with a confused frown.

Gladstone heaved an annoyed sigh. “Ol’ Scrooge is getting sick of dealing with fake Donalds just acting the part so they can get a place in his will. If he thinks this guy’s another moocher, then he’ll have that buff house-keeper of his stop us at the gate. Just get him here and let me handle the rest, capiche?”

“We will do what we can.” José finally relented. “But, as you said, our financial situation at the moment is rather sad. What if we run out before we reach Calisota?”

“Huh? Oh, hold on one sec, J-Z.” Gladstone said, sounding distracted. José heard talking on the other end, though it was further away. After a minute, Gladstone returned. “Looks like I just won a free one-way trip to Panama, as well as a couple thousand in traveling expenses. It’ll be a bit of a trip, but do you think you guys could swing down that way then just take the Canal around to the other side an’ shoot up to Calisota from there?”

José thought over how much gold he’d seen in Don’s bag. It would be a stretch, but they were used to making their money last as long as possible. “I think so.”

“Great!” Gladstone sounded much more pleased with José’s compliance now. “I’ll be in touch. Ciao!” And, with that, he hung up.

José took a deep breath to settle his nerves and thoughts as he hung up the phone and put it in his pocket. He would definitely need to talk this over with Panchito, but it sounded like the right course of action to take.

They finally had a half-way decent lead and a way to get to Duckburg had presented itself at the most perfect possible moment.

While it still felt wrong to accept money for such a tragic situation, he decided it would be best to heed the call of fate this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, all the way in Calisota, Gladstone was staying at Scrooge’s mansion along with a few of his other cousins. The multi-billionaire had started inviting many of their relatives over after making the decision to start looking for Donald again, both to make forming search parties easier and because December was right around the corner, so they might as well stay for the holidays and save on travel expenses (not that that last part was ever a problem for Gladstone, but he wasn’t about to turn down good fortune whenever it came to him).

Calling José had been a strange stroke of luck, but he had learned years ago to just roll with whatever fate gave him, knowing it would ultimately turn out for the best. Well, for him, anyway- he couldn’t say for sure how it would turn out for the rest of his family.

Eh, whatever, might as well play his cards and see where the chips land. Like he told José on the phone- it would be a win-win, no matter what happened.

The only minor hitch in his plan was having to go all the way to Panama. He REALLY didn’t feel like traveling all the way down there just to pick up some Donald look-alike. Maybe he could talk Fethry into it or something, the poor guy needed some more fresh air after being cooped up in the sea-lab for so long-

“Oof!” He bumped into a somewhat shorter someone while rounding the corner. Looking down, he saw that it was a young duckling in a striped sweater and died hair that looked close to the age of Della’s kids. “Geez, would it kill you to watch where you’re going?” She complained as she sat up from where she’d fallen on the ground.

“Oops, my bad.” Gladstone offered her a hand up, which she reluctantly took with a roll of her eyes at the lack of genuine apology in his voice. The girl seemed familiar, but looking at her for a moment afterwards did nothing to jog his memory about who she was. She wasn’t the same girl that came with Della and the boys to save him from the luck-vampire, he knew that much. “Sorry, but this is gonna eat me alive if I don’t ask- are you a relative or..?” He trailed off, waving his hand in a prompting manner.

The girl rolled her eyes again. “No, I’m not. I’m Scrooge’s house-keeper’s granddaughter’s best friend.” She paused for a minute to let all of that sink in. “Yeah, I know- this family is confusing.” Reluctantly, she held a hand out towards him. “Lena Le Strange.”

“Gladstone Gander.” He replied while giving her hand a quick shake. Realizing his hands were empty, he looked around at the floor. “Darn it, where’d it go..?”

Lena was the one to spot it, as it landed by her foot. “Looking for this?” She asked while retrieving the phone. When she picked it up, though, she happened to see the screen and, by extension, the picture from José that was still open. “Hey, who’s that?”

Gladstone took back the phone when she handed it to him and looked at the picture. “Oh, just an old friend of my cousin and some guy that looks like him. I’ve gotta head down to Panama to pick ‘em up. Anyway, nice meeting you. Later.” He said, already walking away and looking back at his phone to plan his trip.

“Yeah, whatever. Bye.” Lena said and continued on her own way…until, once she was out of sight, her shadow suddenly rose up on the wall behind her and formed a different shape entirely. Looking up at the shadow, Lena stuffed her hands in her pockets with an annoyed expression. “What is it now? I thought you agreed to keep quiet here.”

The shadow formed a female silhouette with a different haircut and figure from Lena, a wickedly excited smile spreading across its face. “That picture! Those idiots actually found the REAL THING!”

Lena raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that? His cousin didn’t seem too convinced.”

The shadow folded its arms, the smile turning into a scowl. “I recognize that pendant. Trust me- it’s hard to forget the last thing you see before you’re sealed away. You need to get to that duck and retrieve the dime hidden in his locket BEFORE he gets back to Duckburg! Once he’s reunited with his family, Scrooge will take back the dime and lock it away for safe-keeping. Getting it now is our best chance!”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Lena said while leaning away from the shadow that had started to grow bigger against the surface of the wall. “But how am I supposed to get all the way to Panama? You got a spell for turning water into plane tickets or something?”

“Well, not water, but there is that one spell using a zebra- ah! Wait! There’s no need for that.” The shadow pointed in the direction that Gladstone had gone a moment ago. “That fool Gladstone is the only ticket you need. He absolutely loathes hard work. Offer to go in his place and he’ll probably see it as a lucky break.”

“Come on, it can’t be THAT easy.” The girl said with a doubtful look at the shadow.

“Trust me, it will be. Gladstone Gander is nothing if not predictable.” The shadow groused with a roll of its “eyes”.

Lena smirked slightly at the shadow on the wall. “You seem pretty confident about that. You know him or something?”

The shadow looked away from her, almost pouting. “It’s a long story and we don’t have time. Besides, we don’t talk about it…” She gave a shooing motion with her hand. “Now, go on, get to it before your one chance gets away!” And, with that, the shadow returned to Lena’s original shape.

“Whatever you say, Aunt Magica..” Lena said with an air of both annoyance and resignation. Backtracking, she found that Gladstone hadn’t gone too far yet. “Hey, Mr.Gander!”

He turned to look at her with one eyebrow raised in question. “Just Gladstone’s fine- Mr.Gander makes me feel old. What’s up, short stuff?”

Lena rubbed at the back of her neck, trying to give off a casual air while figuring out her own words. “It’s just..I was wondering if I could, y’know, go to Panama to pick those guys up for you..?”

Gladstone blinked, clearly confused by the sudden offer. “Why would you want to do that?” He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. “Lemme guess- you want in on old Scrooge’s reward money? Look, I understand the appeal, really, but I’m already splitting it three ways and four just seems like too much-”

“No, it’s not like that!” Lena cut him off, trying to quickly think of a good excuse. “I don’t care about the money, I just..uh..I want to travel! Yeah!” That excuse seemed feasible enough, so she ran with it and gave him her best excited smile. “Webby’s always talking about the places she gets to go with Mr. McDuck and the boys- I want a turn to go on an adventure too.” She looked down slightly, bringing her hands up to twiddle her fingers together in the best approximation of nervousness she could manage without feeling sick. “I’ve never even left Calisota before. My aunt doesn’t exactly have a stable job, so traveling’s out of the question on our budget.” She looked back up at him with a frown, hoping she came off as troubled and embarrassed to be asking for something. “I can’t really pay you back, but, when you bumped into me and said you were going all the way to an exotic country, it felt like, I dunno, fate or good luck or something?”

Gladstone only took a moment to think it over before he shrugged. “Okay.”

She blinked in surprise and stared at him. “ ‘Okay’..?” She repeated back to make sure she heard him right. It couldn’t have seriously been THAT easy, could it..?

Gladstone pulled something up on his phone. “Yeah, sure, why not? You want to go there, I don’t- it all works out. Hey, what’s your number?” He held his phone out to her and she put the information in. Once he got it back, he pressed a few more things and her own phone went off in her pocket. Pulling it out to check, she saw that he’d sent her the confirmation code for a free plane ticket. “Flight leaves in a couple days, make sure to keep me posted. Oh, and you’ll need this.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a credit card. “International card,” He explained nonchalantly while handing it to her. “Has a couple g’s on there. Should be enough to get you there and back with the guys. Good luck.” He left with a wave over his shoulder and that was that.

Lena blinked again, looking between him, her phone, and the card in her hand. Once he was out of sight, she finally said to herself “Okay, so maybe it IS that easy…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

José pulled Panchito out into the hall while Don eagerly ate his meal, giving the excuse that they had to take a phone call. Making sure they were out of earshot, he caught Panchito up on the conversation he’d had with Gladstone a few minutes ago and what he’d agreed to do.

Panchito frowned a bit when José finished his story. “I don’t know, Zé..it feels kind of…” He trailed off with a glance to the side, apparently searching for the right words.

“Wrong. I know, trust me.” José sighed with a matching frown before placing a hand on Panchito’s shoulder to get the other bird to look at him again. “But..we need the money, you can’t deny that. Besides, it’s like Gladstone said- whether Don has any connection to Donald or not, he still gets a ride to Duckburg. Also..I feel like something is PUSHING us to do this. Everything is falling into place too perfectly: Don’s appearance, his desire to go to Duckburg, Gladstone’s call- it’s all too good to just be a coincidence, don’t you agree?”

Panchito nodded after thinking it over for a minute. “Well, if you think it’s the right thing to do, then I trust you, querido.” They shared a brief, tender smile before Panchito did a quick fist pump to show he was ready. “So, what’s the plan?”

José chuckled at the cute display of excitement and gestured for the rooster to follow him back in. “Just follow my lead.” The pair walked back in, gaining Don’s attention as he finished his food. “Our sincerest apologies, it was rather rude of us to just walk out like that.”

Don swallowed what was in his mouth with a shrug. “Oh, it’s fine. Sounded important, anyway.”

José sensed a perfect opportunity to broach the subject and decided to go with it. “It was indeed. The call was from an acquaintance of ours in Duckburg.”

That instantly got Don’s interest and he set down the bowl and spoon, looking at them expectantly. “Really?”

Panchito nodded, easily catching on to what José was doing after years of working cons with him. “Yeah, he wants us to head up there and see him.” He took a seat on the foot of Donald’s old bed casually.

Don began to look excitedly hopeful and it tugged on both birds’ heartstrings to see such an adorable look on that face. “Do you think I could- I mean, could I come with you guys?!”

José frowned slightly, both to keep up appearances and because he felt a bit bad for what he was about to say. “Well…I’m not sure..”

Don’s expression fell instantly and he began to look worried. “What? Why not? Like I said, I-I can pay for some of it!”

He began to pull out his bag of gold coins again, but José placed a gentle hand on his arm to halt his movements. “I know you can, my friend, and we really would like to help you, but this will be a very long and costly trip. Our acquaintance has agreed to fund the trip on the condition that we find someone for him.”

“Who is it?” Don asked quickly, desperately grasping onto any chance that he could still go with them. “Maybe I can help you find them!”

Panchito pointed over to the portrait on the wall that Don had originally been drawn to. “Him.” He stated simply, getting up to stand in front of it so he could look up at Donald’s oh-so-familiar face. “He wants us to find him, or at least someone connected to him..”

Don looked at the picture as well, frowning a bit. “Oh..”

José paused for a moment to appear as if he was thinking about something. “Hmm..you know..you DO look a lot like him, Don..”

Don blinked a bit in confusion, looking between José and the picture. “I do?”

Panchito looked back at Don with a grin. “You do! I mean, I actually thought you were our Donald when I saw you.”

“As did I.” José admitted with a sigh. “The resemblance is uncanny. You could probably pass for him quite easily.” He snapped his fingers as if the idea was just now coming to him. “That’s it!”

“What’s it?” Don asked while looking back at him.

Panchito gasped in fake surprise. “José, you don’t mean-?!”

“Oh, I do indeed, Panchito.” José replied with a confident nod.

“Mean what?” Don asked as he looked back to Panchito.

“But could it really work?” Panchito asked with a tilt of his head.

“We won’t know unless we try.” José said while crossing his arms.

Don finally exploded with frustration and yelled out loud while flailing his fists to emphasize his irritation. “Could you two just tell me what you’re talking about?!!”

José held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Calm yourself, my friend. Now, listen-” He placed one hand back onto Don’s shoulder and gestured to the portrait with the other. “You look like Donald, yes?”

“I guess so..” Don said while looking back at the picture for a moment.

“And you want to go to Duckburg, yes?” José asked while leading him slowly towards the picture.

“More than anything..” Don answered immediately in a soft voice, his hand coming up to touch his necklace.

“And Donald has family in Duckburg.” José stopped with Don while standing in front of the picture, Panchito standing on his other side while José spoke. “In my opinion, you look too similar to him for this to be a mere coincidence…”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Don looked up at the picture in front of him, staring at the face that matched his own with a confused expression. “You really think that I’m HIM?”

Panchito wrapped an arm around Don’s other shoulder, the duck held in place by both his and José’s light touch while the two gestured to the picture with their free hands. “Who knows? You could just be related to him. Either way, you’d have family in Duckburg that could tell you.”

“……” Don still looked skeptical, his hand tightening around the necklace. “What if you’re wrong…?”

José shrugged and waved the idea away with one hand. “I doubt we are. But, on the VERY unlikely chance that we are, you still get a ride to Duckburg. It would be a win-win, sim?”

“I..guess you’re right..” Don said quietly.

“Of course we’re right!” Panchito said enthusiastically while giving Don’s shoulder a squeeze. “We know Donald and his family better than anyone else, so we can tell you everything you want to know about them on the way there- it might help jog your memory!”

“Okay.” Don said once before repeating it with more conviction, finally looking excited about the idea (if the way his tail visibly wagged behind him was any indication). “Okay! Let’s do it! Teach me everything about my potential family!”

José and Panchito smiled while giving the excited duck their nods of affirmation, pleased that their little con was starting off so well.

<-Previous Chapter Next Chapter->

End Notes: Not much to say about this chapter other than 1.) Sorry it took a bit longer to publish, 2.) It’s my first time writing Lena as a character so let me know if she seems OOC, and 3.) The whole reason I picked the setting for the beginning of the story was solely so I could have José ask the “Have you been to Bahia?” question in this chapter because I’m a sucker for stuff like that xD

Translation Notes:

Isso soa bem? - Sound good?

“Isso seria bom. Obrigado.” - "That would be good. Thank you."

“¿Algo está mal, Zé?” - "Is something wrong, Zé?"

“Está tudo bem, querido.” - "It's fine, honey."

#Three gay caballeros #The Three Caballeros #three gay cabarellos #legend of the three caballeros #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #donald duck #panchito pistoles #Jose Carioca #donald/panchito/jose #gladstone gander #lena de spell #magica de spell #magistone #(but just a hint of it)#The Third Caballero #anastasia!au

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