If you die your elder yautja will slowly go crazy without you.
When he found out you passed away he was kind of shell shocked.
He’ll just stare at your recovered body, his hand holding your much smaller one. He doesn’t wanna let go because he knows your hand will become colder again without his warm one clasping it.
He’s most likely to have your body preserved in an alien liquid tank, so he can always see you.
If he could he’d sleep with your decaying corpse. But he can’t bring himself to do it, rigamortis already settled and has made your body stiff.
His son will be so genuinely worried for him. His son will often make him stay in the med bay just so he can get rest without having to face your empty side of the bed.
He talks to your dead body. His palm on the tank in hopes yours would reach out to meet his through the thick glass.
Let’s say, for angst reasons. The tank your kept in is smashed and a bad blood takes the body or just plane out destroys it.
That will be your mates breaking point.
He will honesty just go hay wire crazy.
He’ll send everyone he knows to go get your body.
As he sits in front of the empty tank, he’ll laugh. One of those villainous loud booming laughs. Kind of a random thing but he just does it once he finally comes to terms that your gone and never coming back.
He’ll talk to the tank as if your still there.
He won’t eat properly and will start to not take care of his appearance. His claws growing long and sharp. A stark contrast to the short dull ones he had just for you.
His tendrils will become dirty with grime from not properly washing.
He will find himself in your closet sniffing desperately at your clothes trying to smell the scent he has because so addicted and accustomed to. If he does find a shirt that smells like you he will shove his face in it and talk to himself as if you were right there.
He’ll start to hallucinate from the lack of sleep he gets.
The hallucinations being of you walking around or touching his face telling him how nasty he is.
The hallucinations are 50 50 when it comes to if you spout distrustful thoughts over his appearance or just nice remarks on how strong or handsome he is.
He only knows their not real because of the lack of heat your head has as it cupped the hollow of his cheek.
He would probably be dead by time they even recover what’s left of your decayed body.
Alone in your once shared bed.
His eyes peacefully closed as he wore all his armor.
He will be loosely clutching the pillow your head used to lay on. When you were still with him.
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Woke up to the sound of a very noisy but lovely Thunderstorm starting, and just kind of basked in it for a bit since I had the window above the bed open. Drifted back off and woke up again to my Husband shutting the window so I wouldn't get rained on. Couldn't get back to sleep again after that.
Probably a good thing, though, considering I went upstairs to use the restroom and my lips were blue again. Not a huge fan of it now starting to happen while I'm sleeping too, apparently.
We wound up sitting on the deck for a little bit, then opening up some of the windows again and turning on the attic fan to draw some of the nice cool storm air into the house; the air conditioner's broke again (motor's frozen up like last year. But at least this time it did it the week it's rainy so it's cool temperature-wise). It feels incredible.
There's a class at the nearest Metaphysical store that I found out about yesterday, that sounds interesting. It's about Finding Your Soul Path, and the way the blurb's written, it seems to be more on the traditional Shadow Work side of things. Which could be cool to go to and experience.
I sent the link to my old Covenmate thinking that it'd be good for her mental health; she hasn't been doing good mentally lately (in a long time, really), and we tend to talk about Shadow Work a lot together, so I thought it'd be nice to go to. I got an answer back this morning, though, that she can't go because she doesn't get off until half an hour before it starts (and unfortunately the store's an hour away from us). So that wound up falling through.
I thought about sending it to the other witchy semi-friend I have locally. But she's deleted her Tumblr and stopped talking to me, so I'm assuming that relationship is over (again)? She's also a lot more ... Snarky and negative? Very judgmental about a lot of things. And I have the feeling that a class about "Finding Your Soul Path" would be one of those things she wouldn't have much good to say about. I could also be really wrong about that, but 🤷♀️
Unfortunately, when I called my insurance company this morning to put my new card on file for autopay, I found my card for my next GP appointment. I thought it was in April, and I was very off. It's not until August. I'm going to try and make it, but realistically I'm very likely going to have to call and schedule one much sooner than that; I don't think I'm going to last that long between appointments with all of this exhaustion going on. Especially since it's now halfway into week 2, and Physio still hasn't called me back about my Therapy yet.
I bet insurance is dicking them around about approving it 😩 Like ... What do you want to bet they want me to do a bunch of unnecessary steps first before- even though Physio's usually the first step before they'll even approve those tests half the time?
I'm just kind of bumbling around today without a purpose. It's so hard to get myself to do anything lately. I'm just kind of in a depressive slump myself, honestly, with everything going on. It's so fun.
Tomorrow, though, I have a group event with my Guild in ESO. We're going to run the Imperial City Sewers; it's been forever since I've had a good run through the Imp City Sewers. And since my old Covenmate and I aren't going to be going to the class, I can still participate. I'm looking forward to it. If I'm lucky, I may even get my gorgeous Transmutation Violet back by running it.
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“As soon as we are overcome by evil thoughts, we ourselves become evil. We Christians should not allow evil to occur even in our thoughts, and even more so in practice, otherwise it would mean that we have no strength to resist it.”
“As we think, so we live.”
“The man who has acquired the kingdom of God radiates holy thoughts, God’s thoughts. The role of a Christian in the world is to purify the universe from evil and spread the Kingdom of God.”
~Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica
~Anytime the mind wanders into negative thoughts, even if they are true, cut them off. Do not entertain them.
Block them, and dwell on what is good and positive. Discipline your mind.~
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