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rynwritesreid · 4 months

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Mind games~Spencer Reid

Chapter two: Could have been me

Chapter summary: When you don't show up to work the morning after your argument with Spencer, Hotch sends the team looking for you as your life could be in danger.

Chapter warnings: Fem!reader. Kidnapping. Mentions of possible murders. Typically cm case stuff. Reader is bound and gagged(but nothing else is mentioned).

A/N: This is loosely based on the episodes where the team were been stalked but I have put a little spin on it. I'm going to take a little break, not for long just a week or two, but I won't be checking my Tumblr as much. I hope everyone enjoys this. If you're not on the taglist, and you want to be, you can either comment or follow the link (Which I still will be checking). Anyway, Jag älskar dig.

~mind games masterlist~

~join the mind games taglist~

“You know, she told the girls what you said to her, Spencer.” Derek interjected, his voice filled with a mix of concern and disappointment. “She looked up to you, I mean she basically saw you as a god. You and her could make an amazing team, but instead you dislike her, because she is on the same level as you.”

Spencer's face softened for a brief moment, his features betraying a flicker of regret. He hadn't realized the impact his words had on you, nor the way it would spread through the team like wildfire. It wasn't his intention to hurt you. In truth, he had been wrestling with his own demons, battling insecurities that had plagued him for far too long.

"I didn't mean to..." Spencer began, his voice barely above a whisper. But before he could finish his sentence, JJ interjected, her gentle tone cutting through the tension.

"It doesn't matter what you meant or didn't mean, Spencer. The damage is done," she said, her eyes filled with disappointment. "Y/N deserves better than this."

“Look, I regret what I said to her, I do. And yes, maybe she deserves better than what I said, but did she tell you what she said to me?” Spencer paused, his voice laced with a mix of frustration and vulnerability.

Derek and JJ exchanged glances, sensing that there was more to the story than they initially thought. Spencer's voice trembled with a mix of vulnerability and frustration as he continued.

"She told me that I act like I believe I'm better than everyone else, that I flaunt my achievements," he admitted, his gaze focused on the ground as if the weight of his words were too heavy to bear. "But she doesn't know the whole story. She doesn't know the insecurities that eat away at me every day."

Derek's expression softened, understanding dawning in his eyes. "Spencer, we all have our battles," he said gently. "But taking it out on her isn't the answer. You two could be an incredible team if you just gave it a chance."

“I’ll say sorry to her, but I doubt she’ll want to work with me after all I said to her.”

Derek placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder, offering a reassuring squeeze. "You won't know unless you try. Y/N is resilient and understanding. And if you show her that you truly regret your words, she might surprise you."

Spencer tried to find you to apologise but he couldn’t seem to. He asked JJ if she had seen you, but she just shook her head and told him that you most likely had taken the day off or you were just late. However, when they saw Hotch walk out his office, and look directly at your desk, they both thought something else may have happened.

“Emily, have you seen Y/N anywhere?” Hotch asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

Emily glanced around the bullpen, her eyes scanning the empty desks and filing cabinets. "No, Hotch. I haven't seen her all morning. Did something happen?"

Hotch sighed heavily, his brows furrowing in concern. "I'm not sure. She didn't show up for our scheduled meeting this morning, and she hasn't responded to any of my calls or messages."

Worry etched itself onto Emily's features as she reached for her phone, dialling your number without hesitation. The sound of ringing filled the air as the team held their breath, waiting for a response.

After a few agonizing moments, Emily disconnected the call with a shake of her head. "Straight to voicemail," she murmured.

Derek's eyes widened in alarm. "That's not like her. Y/N never ignores her phone, especially not when it's work-related."

Hotch nodded, his concern growing with each passing second. “I know. Spencer, after your disagreement with her last night, did you notice her go anywhere, or did she say anything to you at all?”

Spencer's heart sank as he realized the severity of the situation. He hadn't anticipated that his argument with you had escalated to this point. Guilt gnawed at him, fuelling his determination to find you and make things right.

"I didn't see her leave last night," Spencer admitted, his voice filled with regret. "But she seemed really upset. I think she might have needed some space."

Hotch's expression hardened; his concern now veiled with a sense of urgency. "We can't afford to waste any more time," he said firmly. "I want the team to split up and search for Y/N. Derek, you take the surrounding area and check if she went home. Emily, canvas the local coffee shops and places she likes to go. JJ, contact her friends or anyone close to her. We need to find her as soon as possible."

“Hotch, why are you so worried?” JJ asked, a hint of confusion in her voice. “Do you know something we don’t? I mean I’ll do all of this, of course, but you seem a lot more concerned than you should be.”

Hotch's gaze flickered with a mixture of apprehension and determination. He took a deep breath before finally speaking, his voice laden with worry. “There was a meeting with other unit leaders this morning, and people who joined us at the same time as Y/N have been disappearing.”

Emily's eyes widened in shock, the gravity of the situation sinking in. "You think Y/N might have been targeted?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Hotch nodded grimly. "It's a possibility we can't ignore. We've already lost three team members from that cohort, and we need to find Y/N before it's too late."

Derek clenched his jaw, his grip tightening on his phone. "I'll check her apartment first, see if she went home," he said, determination filling his voice. "If she's not there, I'll widen the search radius."

JJ nodded, her fingers already flying across her phone screen as she contacted Y/N's closest friends and contacts. "I'll reach out to everyone and see if they've heard from her," she said, her voice tinged with worry.

“This takes priority to the other case we are working. And that’s not just me stating this, the bureau want this taken care off.” Hotch declared, his voice firm and resolute. "Y/N's safety is our top concern, and we won't rest until we find her."

The team dispersed, each member taking on their assigned tasks with a renewed sense of determination. Spencer stood frozen for a moment, his mind flooded with regret and fear for your well-being. Guilt crept up his spine, threatening to consume him as he replayed the words, he had said to you.

But now was not the time for self-pity or remorse. He needed to find you, to make things right, and to protect you from whatever danger lurked in the shadows. With a newfound resolve, he grabbed his coat and joined Derek in the search.

Derek and Spencer combed through every inch of your apartment, searching for any trace of where you might have gone. They checked your bedroom, your bathroom, and even the closet in case you were hiding. But there was nothing.

"Damn it," Derek muttered under his breath as he ran a hand through his hair. "She's not here, Spencer."

Spencer stood in the centre of your living room, his eyes scanning the surroundings as if hoping for some clue to reveal itself. "Think, think," he whispered to himself, racking his brain for any indication of where you could be.

His gaze fell upon the corkboard hanging on the wall, covered in pictures and notes. Without hesitation, he approached it, studying each item carefully. His eyes landed on a picture of you, and what he assumed were people who were at the academy at the same time as you.

“Derek, do you know the names of the other people who have gone missing?” Spencer asked, his voice laced with urgency.

Derek furrowed his brows, trying to recall the information he had heard during the briefing earlier that morning. "Yeah," he replied, his voice tinged with concern. "There was Sarah Thomas, Chris Matthews, and Mark Reynolds. Why?"

“Look at this photo, could this be them with Y/N?” Spencer pointed to the picture on the corkboard, his finger hovering above the faces of the individuals. Derek leaned closer, studying the image intently.

“Maybe. Grab the picture, we will show it to Hotch.”

Spencer carefully removed the photograph from the corkboard, handling it with delicate fingers as if it held a piece of the puzzle he desperately needed to solve. He knew that showing it to Hotch would be the next step in their search for you, for answers.

As they walked into the office, their faces filled with worry and determination caught Hotch's attention immediately. He approached them, his eyes narrowing as he took in the evidence bag Derek was holding.

"What did you find?" Hotch asked, his voice steady but filled with anticipation.

Spencer handed over the evidence bag, ensuring Hotch had a clear view of the photo inside. "We found this in Y/N's apartment," he explained. "It appears to be a picture of her with the three individuals who have gone missing. We thought it might be worth showing you."

Hotch's gaze hardened as he studied the photo, his mind working through various scenarios and possibilities. “I think Y/N is danger.”

Hotch's words hung heavy in the air, the gravity of the situation sinking deeper into the hearts of Derek and Spencer. They exchanged a glance, their eyes filled with a mix of determination and fear.

"Y/N could be in serious trouble," Derek stated, his voice laced with urgency. "We need to find her before whoever is responsible for these disappearances gets to her."

Hotch nodded, his jaw clenched tightly “I think the person who is responsible for these disappearances has already gotten to her, Derek.”

Derek's heart skipped a beat, the weight of Hotch's words hitting him like a freight train. He clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white as rage and fear surged through his veins. "We can't let anything happen to her," he said, his voice low and determined.

Spencer's mind buzzed with a million different thoughts, trying to piece together the puzzle that had become your disappearance. "Do we have any leads? Any idea where she might be?"

Hotch sighed heavily, the lines on his forehead deepening. "Not yet" he admitted. "But we need to work fast. Whoever is behind this is organized, and they know what they're doing. We need to beat them at their own game."

“Spencer, go chat to Garcia, see if she has found anything or been able to locate Y/Ns phone. Derek, call Emily and JJ see if they have found anything. I’m going to call the other unit leaders who have lost members, and the academy to see if they know anything.”

Spencer nodded, his mind already racing with the task at hand. He quickly made his way to Garcia's office, knowing that her exceptional skills in technology would prove invaluable in their search.

As he entered the room, he found Garcia hunched over her computer, surrounded by screens filled with lines of code and databases. The room buzzed with the sound of beeping monitors and clacking keys.

"Garcia," Spencer called out, trying to catch her attention amidst the chaos. "Hotch wants us to find any leads on Y/N's whereabouts. Have you been able to track her phone or any other digital footprint?"

Garcia spun around in her chair, her eyes lighting up with determination. "Spence! I've been trying to crack into her phone and social media accounts, but it seems like whoever is behind this has taken extra precautions. It's like Y/N vanished into thin air."

"Keep trying, Garcia. We need any lead we can get. Check for any unusual activity, recent contacts, anything that might give us a clue."

Garcia nodded, her fingers dancing across the keyboard as she delved deeper into the digital world. "I won't stop until I find something, Spencer. Y/N deserves justice, and we are going to make sure she gets it."

Spencer's phone buzzed in his pocket, and he quickly retrieved it to see a message from Derek. It read: "No luck here. No signs of Y/N or any of the other missing persons. Emily and JJ are coming up empty too."

Spencer sighed, his heart sinking at the lack of progress. They were running out of time, and every passing moment without a breakthrough felt like an eternity. He knew they couldn't afford to give up, but the weight of the situation was beginning to take its toll.

As he turned his attention back to Garcia, he noticed a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. "Spence, I think I might have found something," she said, her voice filled with hope.

His heart skipped a beat as he hurried over to her side, peering at the screen. Lines of code and data flashed before his eyes, but one particular piece caught his attention. "What is it?" he asked eagerly.

Garcia pointed to a series of encrypted messages on the screen. "These are conversations between Y/N and someone who goes by the name 'ShadowX'. It seems like they've been communicating for some time now."

Spencer's eyes widened as he absorbed the information. "ShadowX," he muttered, his mind racing to recall any mention of the name during their investigation. It felt like a puzzle piece finally falling into place.

Garcia continued to decipher the encrypted messages, her fingers flying across the keyboard with practiced precision. "It looks like Y/N trusted this person," she said, her voice filled with concern. “They seemed close. It looks like they met at the academy, but if you look at this message, it seems ShadowX didn’t do so well and didn’t get a job in the FBI.”

Spencer's brow furrowed as he read the message, his mind working to piece together the puzzle. "So, ShadowX was a classmate of Y/N's at the academy," he mused aloud. "But if they didn't get a job with the FBI, what happened to them?"

Garcia tapped her fingers on the keyboard, her eyes scanning through the messages for any more clues. "I'm still trying to dig deeper, but it seems like ShadowX disappeared shortly after their graduation. There's no trace of them anywhere since then."

Spencer's mind raced with possibilities. Could ShadowX be responsible for the disappearances? Or were they also a victim? He knew they needed more information, more pieces of the puzzle, to solve this case and bring you back safely.

“Garcia, I think ShadowX is behind all of this. Y/N is smart, she was ahead of everybody else at the academy, I even checked her marksmanship, and she was getting top scores on that too. I think ShadowX was jealous. And look at all the other people who have gone missing, all smart, all got a job here.” Spencer swallowed hard as he realized the gravity of the situation.

Garcia's eyes widened, realization dawning upon her. "You might be onto something, Spence," she replied, her voice filled with a mix of determination and concern. "If ShadowX was jealous of Y/N's success and disappeared after graduation, it's possible they've been planning this for a long time."

Spencer's mind buzzed with the weight of their discovery. The pieces were beginning to fall into place, revealing a darker truth that sent shivers down his spine. "We need to find out everything we can about ShadowX," he said, his voice filled with conviction. "Their motives, their whereabouts, anything that will lead us to Y/N."

Garcia nodded fervently, her fingers flying across the keyboard as she delved deeper into the digital abyss. Her determination was unwavering as she hacked into every database she could access, leaving no stone unturned.

Meanwhile, Derek and Hotch returned to the bullpen after making their calls. Derek's face was etched with worry, lines deepening as he caught sight of Spencer standing beside Garcia. Without a word, he joined them.

"What do you have?" Derek asked, his voice tinged with urgency.

Spencer glanced at Garcia, who nodded in confirmation. "ShadowX was a classmate of Y/N's at the academy," he began, his voice filled with resolve. "But they didn't get a job with the FBI. They disappeared shortly after graduation, and there's been no trace of them since."

Derek clenched his jaw, anger simmering beneath his skin. "Jealousy and resentment," he muttered under his breath.

Derek's words hung heavy in the air, the weight of the situation settling over them like a suffocating fog. The knowledge that someone they had once trusted, someone from their own ranks, could be behind the disappearances was both unsettling and infuriating.

Hotch's voice broke the tense silence. "We need to find out everything we can about ShadowX," he said, his tone resolute. "Their motives, their connections, any possible leads. We can't let them slip through our fingers."

Garcia's fingers danced across the keyboard as she accessed every database available, her determination unwavering. "I'm going to trace ShadowX's digital footprint, follow every electronic trail they left behind," she declared, her eyes blazing with a mix of determination and anger. "No one disappears without a trace in this day and age."

Derek's eyes narrowed, his hands bawling into fists at his sides. "We'll find them," he said through gritted teeth. "No one hurts our team and gets away with it."

The team had left Garcia so she could continue with her research, Derek and Spencer had decided to go through the files on your desk, see if there was anything there. Hotch remained in his office making phone calls, JJ and Emily seemed lost, they had come to love you and knowing you were in danger was tearing them apart.

Spencer though, he was reflecting, he had come to terms to why he had disliked you. It wasn’t just because of your intelligence , or how you just seemed to make friends with everybody, it was because he knew he didn’t truly stand a chance with you. He wasn’t just jealous of you; he was jealous of anyone who would ever get a chance of loving you.

As Spencer flipped through the files on your desk, his thoughts continued to swirl, entangled in a mix of emotions. Guilt crept into his heart as he realized how his jealousy had clouded his judgment and caused him to distance himself from you. He had pushed you away, not only because of his own insecurities but also to protect himself from the pain of seeing someone else capture your heart.

But now, faced with the gravity of the situation, Spencer's perspective shifted. The fear of losing you altogether overshadowed any lingering jealousy. He knew deep down that he couldn't let his personal feelings hinder the efforts to find you and bring you back safely.

Derek glanced over at Spencer, noticing the conflict etched on his face. "You alright, Pretty Boy?" he asked, concern lacing his voice.

Spencer sighed, running a hand through his unruly hair. "I'm trying to come to terms with everything," he admitted, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "I realized that my jealousy was unfounded and only served to push Y/N away. Now, all I can think about is finding her and bringing her back safely."

Derek nodded in understanding; his eyes filled with empathy. "We'll find her, Reid," he reassured, placing a hand on his shoulder. "We're not giving up until we do."

Spencer offered a small smile of gratitude, grateful for Derek's unwavering support. "Thank you, Derek," he said sincerely. "I don't know what I would do without you guys."

As they were about to get back into the files, they heard the distinctive clicking of Garcia shows.

“Guy’s!” Garcia exclaimed as she burst into the room, her eyes wide with excitement. "I think I found something! ShadowX has been using an alias, but I managed to track down their real identity. Their name is Ethan Sullivan, and he used to work for a private security firm. But get this," she paused for dramatic effect, "he was fired after allegations of unethical practices surfaced."

Spencer's eyes widened, his mind connecting the dots. "Unethical practices... that could explain why he didn't get a job with the FBI," he mused, his voice filled with realization. "And if he was jealous of Y/N's success, it's possible he's been targeting graduates from the academy."

Derek's jaw clenched as anger flared within him. "We need to find Ethan Sullivan," he said firmly. "If he's behind these disappearances, we need to bring him to justice."

Garcia nodded in agreement, her fingers itching to dig deeper into the digital realm. "I'm going to trace Sullivan's every move, leave no virtual stone unturned," she declared, her eyes ablaze with determination. "We'll find him, and we'll bring him down."

Garcia let out a triumphant cheer. "I found him!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with a mix of excitement and relief. "Ethan Sullivan is currently residing in an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town. It seems like he's been using it as his base of operations."

Hotch, who had finished his phone calls, emerged from his office with a stern look on his face. "We need to move quickly," he said, the gravity of the situation evident in his voice.

Emily, JJ, I want you to coordinate with local law enforcement and secure the perimeter around the warehouse," Hotch continued, his voice commanding. "Derek, Spencer, you'll come with me. We're going in."

The team sprang into action, each member homing in on their assigned tasks with precision. Emily and JJ made the necessary calls, ensuring that backup was on the way. Meanwhile, Garcia continued to monitor Sullivan's digital presence, providing real-time updates on his movements.

As they approached the abandoned warehouse, tension hung heavy in the air. The once bustling building now stood as a dark and foreboding figure against the night sky. With each step closer, the team's determination grew stronger.

Hotch gave a nod to Derek and Spencer, signalling it was time to move. With weapons drawn and hearts pounding, they entered the warehouse cautiously yet swiftly.

The interior of the warehouse was shrouded in darkness, save for eerie beams of moonlight that filtered through the broken windows. The creaking of old boards under their feet echoed through the cavernous space, causing a sense of unease to settle over the team. The air was heavy with anticipation as they moved deeper into the labyrinth of forgotten boxes and discarded equipment.

Derek's eyes scanned the surroundings, his senses heightened as he listened for any sign of movement. Spencer, ever the analytical mind, was piecing together the possible hiding spots Sullivan could be using within the warehouse. They moved in sync, their training and trust in each other guiding their every step.

As they navigated through the maze of shadows, a faint sound caught Spencer's attention. He held up a hand to signal Derek to stop, his ears straining to catch even the slightest noise. It was then that he heard it again, a muffled cry for help.

Heart pounding in his chest, Spencer followed the sound, leading them towards a dimly lit corner of the warehouse. There, hidden behind a stack of crates, they found you. Bound and gagged, your eyes filled with fear and relief as you saw the familiar faces of your team members.

Derek rushed forward, releasing you from your restraints with swift, practiced movements. "We've got you," he said softly, his voice filled with a mixture of protectiveness and concern. "You're safe now."

Spencer knelt down beside you, his gentle touch removing the gag from your mouth. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice laced with worry.

You nodded, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm...I'm okay," you managed to say, tears streaming down your face. "Thank you for finding me."

Hotch approached; his gaze steady as he spoke. "We need to get out of here," he said firmly. "Garcia, call for medical assistance and secure an exit strategy."

“I’ll stay with her.” Spencer volunteered; his voice filled with determination. He didn't want to leave your side, not after everything you had been through.

Hotch nodded in agreement, understanding the need for comfort and reassurance. "Alright, Reid," he said, his voice softening. "But be careful."

"You're safe now," Spencer whispered softly, his voice filled with genuine concern. "We won't let anything happen to you."

You nodded; your voice still shaky. "I don't know how to thank you guys," you said, your gratitude pouring forth. "You saved my life."

Spencer smiled warmly, his own emotions raw and palpable. "You don't have to thank us," he replied, his eyes filled with sincerity. "We're a team, and we look out for each other."

“I’m sorry for what I said to you, Spencer. I just wanted your approval.”

Spencer shook his head, his eyes filled with forgiveness. "You don't have to apologize, Y/N," he said softly. “I should be saying sorry to you, I just let my insecurities get in the way.”

You reached out and placed a hand on Spencer's arm, offering a reassuring smile. "We all have our moments of doubt and insecurity," you said, your voice gentle. "What matters is that we learn and grow from them."

~taglist~

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red is for @ that’s don’t work

In the next chapter… will you and Spencer remain friends. Will Spencer confront his own feelings for you. Will he tell you how he feels. Will this new found friendship be pushed to the limits when an old love interest comes to visit.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #dom spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you #criminal minds x reader #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #mgg smut #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds smut #dr spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfiction

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anxiousnerdwritings · 11 months

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If Daemon’s bby ever died on the battlefield so young: how would her loved ones react? And would anyone (the dragon literally symbolizes their house ofc) fight over her humongous three-headed dragon? Just imagine if it just casually flew away after the funeral without giving anyone a opportunity to claim them.

Daemon would absolutely lose it if his beloved child died in any way. There would be a sense of pride and respect for his bby dying in battle and fighting till the very end, but you can bet he will absolutely destroy whoever had a part in his child’s demise. And he will burn them all to the fucking ground. He wouldn’t rest until the entire lineage of the people involved in his child’s death were wiped out.

Rhaenyra would be in such a severe state of mourning for her most treasured friend/cousin. She would want to fight alongside Daemon and bring down the people who stole their beloved one from them. Rhaenyra’s hurt and anger would be more than enough to fuel her till the end to see the downfall of everyone involved in her cousin’s death. And she would make damn sure she got her vengeance for her late loved one. No one would go unpunished for taking away her bestest and dearest friend.

Given that I imagine this happening before the Dance of Dragons takes place, I can’t help but imagine Viserys’ reaction and how he would be towards Daemon. I feel like this would be something that would very well bring the two brothers together. Viserys can understand the state his brother would be in and he can’t possibly imagine going through it himself. He wouldn’t know what he would do if anything happened to Rhaenyra but he knows damn well he would go to war over it too. He wouldn’t hold anything against Daemon for what he does afterward, he can’t bring himself to knowing he would do something of the same level himself if his child faced the same fate. Viserys would ensure that the Reader got the most deserving funeral of any Targaryen there ever was.

Don’t even get me started on Rhea’s reaction. She would 1000% blame Daemon. Whether she blames his blood running through their child’s veins or his teaching them to never run from a fight. She puts it on him but she blames herself just as much for not keeping her child by her side. There really wasn’t much she could do but that doesn’t stop her from ripping herself apart. I don’t doubt that Daemon blames himself too but Rhea really throws it in his face, especially if this happened in a battle that Daemon and their child were fighting on the frontlines together. Her loss and grief would be too much for her, Rhea wouldn’t know what to do with herself once her child is gone. She would demand their child have a funeral fit for a Royce while Daemon fights tooth and nail that his child deserves nothing less than a true Targaryen send off. The death of their beloved child would only drift the two further apart and bring nothing but more hostility and hatred towards each other.

When it comes to the Reader’s dragon, I can’t help but think of two things. The dragon either pulls a similar stunt to Drogon and takes its’ treasured rider away to somewhere for just the two of them to be, or it sticks around until after the funeral and goes off on its own to live the rest of its days in mourning in solitude and forever being without its beloved companion again. No matter who had the gall to even try and claim the Reader’s dragon for themself the dragon would have absolutely none of it. I could see it taking on a similar disposition to Cannibal after its rider dies. It becomes extremely hostile towards anyone or anything that comes near it, all three of it’s heads retaliating and going after anyone and anything. Hell, I can even see the poor dragon going after itself and the three heads turning on one another in a form of self destruction. Just overall the Reader’s dragon acting out in its own way of suffering and being grief stricken by its detrimental loss.

Honestly, I really can’t see the Reader’s dragon allowing the Reader’s funeral to take place. I could see the dragon seeing this as the Reader’s family and everyone else in attendance further harming the Reader more, especially in the sense of the other dragons being the ones to set alight the Reader’s funeral pyre for their send off. The Reader’s dragon taking this as more of a threat to the Reader than what it’s actually supposed to be and a chaotic dragon fight ensuing with the Reader’s dragon trying to take its’ rider’s body back with it where it can be forever safe and protected.

#anxious answers #yandere daemon targaryen #yandere rhea royce #yandere rhaenyra targaryen #yandere viserys targaryen #yandere house of the dragon #yandere game of thrones #yandere house of the dragon concept #yandere game of thrones concept #yandere concept

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blakeswritingimagines · 5 months

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Aemond Being With An Inexperienced Partner

With an inexperienced partner, like most things in life, it is a question of patience and a desire to please. It should be a mutual experience, where you are allowed to learn how best to please, while he provides guidance and reassurance. Patience is key, and understanding that everyone can take their time to find their way in the situation.

An inexperienced partner is one with no knowledge or experience in the act of lovemaking. Many people may think to take advantage of such a partner by demanding certain acts or positions. However, the best approach is to be patient and loving, allowing you to explore and discover what you like without pressuring you. It's important to be open and talkative so he can ensure that you are comfortable and enjoying the experience. He is also sure to ask you if there is anything specific you would like to try and to be open to different positions and techniques.

He would likely try to be patient and understanding. He would guide them with gentle guidance and positive reinforcement. He would also listen to any certain desires and needs and adapt to them as necessary. He would focus on creating a safe and comfortable environment for you to gain experience. Ultimately, he would want you to be comfortable and have a positive first time.

Granted, he's not the most patient with those who are inexperienced. He enjoys watching people grow and develop their skills, but sometimes, his own expectations or knowledge can get in the way of that. He's a quick learner himself, so he can get frustrated when you don't match his pace. As for being open and honest about what he wants, even if it's a bit awkward at times, it can lead to a much more comfortable and satisfying experience. He enjoys trying new things, but sometimes the most important thing is to feel comfortable and confident in each other.

He does appreciate it when you take some initiative and don't leave all decision making to him. He also likes being able to try what he likes without feeling like he's being judged or criticized. At the same time, he wants to make sure you are comfortable and confident in what you are doing. Communication is key, but being able to read your body language is key, too.

It's important to prioritize communication and understanding. Taking things slowly is a good practice as well. Letting you explore in your own way, without judgment, can be a great way to build trust. It's also helpful to be supportive and encouraging rather than critical or demanding. Lastly, it's important to remember that everyone has their own style when it comes to sex, and there's no right or wrong way to approach it. Instead, it's about finding what works for him and you and having fun exploring together.

He tries to take things slow with a new partner, learning about your body and what you might enjoy. It's a good idea to start with some basic foreplay like kissing, cuddling, and touching to ease into things and letting you get comfortable with him. He enjoys giving and receiving oral pleasure, and he finds that it's a great way to connect with you on a deeper level. He also enjoys trying out different positions, including on top, in missionary, from behind, and with you on top.

If you ever felt bad for not having experience or felt abnormal because of it, he would remind you that everyone has to start somewhere. No one is born knowing everything about sex and sexuality, so there's nothing wrong with not having prior experience. It's important to remember that sex and sexuality are not something to be ashamed of and to approach it with a positive attitude. He would also provide you with resources and reassurance that you can explore and experience things together.

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #hotd aemond #prince aemond #house of the dragon aemond #aemond one eye #house of the dragon

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elsa-fogen · 1 month

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Oh, Husk and Alastor?

Their dynamic is also pretty interesting, they kinda feel like two people who everyone thinks gets along great and are the best of friends. While in reality their friendship is fueled but a fire born from their hatred. They just have many decent moments and have a easy time understanding each other, through they often use that information to serve a selfish endeavor.

Like Alastor would mess with Husk, tease him and Husk would tell Al to get his act together so that he(Husk) doesn't have to deal with some sort of fallout (ref. when Mimzy comes by)

In general, I feel like they do get along really well, but they are in no way friends. Kinda like how you can get along well with your boss, but wouldn't really consider them a friend. And you wouldn't really want them to involve themselves in your life, but that doesn't stop Alastor. (Social conversions? What's that)

This also makes me curious, wonder what kind of dynamic Husk has with Rosie, or rather, how do you think Rosie sees Husk? Just like a pet Alastor has? Or does she actually see the person that is there? (Leaning more towards her not really seeing Husk more than a errand boy or pet of Alastor)

Though it would be fun if the first time Husk meet Rosie he thought that she might actually be willing to help him because she gives of the energy of being a very kind person around people she cares about (aka Alastor). So he tries to talk to her without Alastor present and he finally understands how they get along so well, they are both the same kind of crazy ᵔᵜᵔ

So, um- what are your thoughts on the dynamic between Alastor and Husk?

HEEEHEHHE YOU GOT ME A REASON TO TALK ABOUT MY FRESH HEADCANON ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIPS

OKAY SO!!

I saw a theory that Husk had children when he was alive. Keep that in mind, it's a secret tool we wanna use later

So, little bit about Alastor. He is not the guy who owns many souls. In fact, he doesn't own any (well... i have some headcanons, but it's for another time). The only soul he has is Niffty, and she's... she's whole another level.

So one day Alastor get's Husk's soul in posession and he has no idea what to do with him. Their contract is basically "you'll have to do anything i order you" but it doesn't set any boundaries for Husk. So he can insult Alastor, argue with him and so on. The only thing he cant is to try to kill Alastor, but it's obvious.

So, Alastor's just... drags him around, and Husk has to just be there all the time, and watch Alastor do stupid shit without thinking, being manipulated by Mimzy into some shenanigans and so on, because he's too powerful, kinda don't afraid of anything and little bit unhinged. And Husk is trying to be that voice of sanity for Alastor (and maybe Niffty). Like in canon, he tries to warn Alastor about Mimzy nd at some point seems genuinely worried about him. Just a bit. And also, in that scene in final song, when Alastor appears again, Husk doesn't seem happy but still goes for group hug.

I think he sees Alastor as a child he has to babysit, but the child is so spoiled, that he doesn't give a shit about his warnings. Maybe Al reminds him of his own children at some degree. And so Husk is attached to Alastor in some weird unhealthy way, he cares about him and tries to protect, even if it pointless.

The worst part of it is that Alastor doesn't see him more than funny fluffy cat-guy-pet. He almost never takes him seriously and doesn't listen to what he says. So Husk may try to reach out to Rosie, to make her to reason with Alastor. But she's basiclly "i could fix him, but whatever is wrong with him is way funnier". I think she listens to Husk's worries about another Alastor's scheme, but she also trusts Alastor? I mean, she belives that he'll be fine. But if something seems to dangerous, she can agree and talk to Alastor.

After all, Husk was an overlord, and i think Rosie could know him before he made a deal with Alastor. So, i think she doesn't think of Husk as just Al's pet, she knows who he is. After all, not every sinner can become an overlord. But still,

So, last thing. I saw that one comic where after episode 5 Alastor admits that Husk was right about Mimzy and i really love this thought. I think Alastor also likes Husk's presence at some degree. Maybe they could build something healtier, maybe Alastor, after losing part of his powers, would listen to Husk more. But still it's all fucked up while Alastor owns his soul.

And also, i'd really love to see something of just Alastor, Husk and Niffty getting into some shenanigans together, this would be so much fun. Al and Niff who are just 2 unhinged gremlins and Husk who's done with their shit, but still cares about them and can't just leave, and it's not because of the deal. Like i imagine when husk is trying to reason with Alastor that he's about do something stupid and dangerous and Alastor's like well i don't force you to follow us this time, but Husk still goes with them because who else would watch after these two idiots?

So i think, i get your point about them!

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mangowafflesss · 8 months

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How do you think Price would react if the reader was apart of 141 and admitted to being in love with Price, and planned on leaving 141 because the reader feels compromised cause of it?

I literally have no idea what I just wrote 😭 but I’m frustrated and tired so here just TAKE IT!

Laying on the ground you couldn't help but sigh as you thought about the disaster of a mission you just came back from. A freshly sewn bullet hole marked your shoulder as you thought about what you had done.

You had promised yourself that this little crush you had on your Captain wouldn't get in the way of your work but here you are in pain as the memory of you pushing him out of the way replayed in your mind.

Your stomach was jumping around as you ran towards him and saved him from getting shot by the enemy. You knew you let your feelings get in the way, he was supposed to be shot and you were supposed to stand by and let it happen.

But you just couldn’t.

“Argh, why am I such an idiot” you say to Gaz as he lay beside you.

“It’s not your fault you’re in love” he simply states and you turn your head to the side and stare at his side profile.

You’re in love.

With your Captain…

This was bad, so very bad on many levels. You’re going to do something more stupid than today and that’ll be it. Kicked off the team, be yelled at by superiors on why you acted so dumb. And you’ll have to tell them it’s because you can’t control your thoughts and feelings about your Captain.

“I have to go”

“Huh?” Gaz looks at you confused wondering if he heard you right.

You were sitting up now with your head in your hands, your shoulder was killing you but so was the feelings you had for Price.

“I should leave, transfer to another place” you didn’t want to, but you didn’t want to put everyone in harms way especially Price.

“And why is that?” You freeze still as you hear the same familiar voice you’ve wanted to avoid ever since getting your shoulder checked out. Gaz had already stood and left which made you want to die.

You didn’t move off the floor and instead stayed there staring at the ceiling. You continued to do that in silence until the plain white sky was replaced with the handsome face of John.

“You didn’t answer my question” he didn’t sound commanding but you could hear it underneath the layer of the niceness.

You patted the floor beside you with a sigh and he obliged. His back was flat against the hard floor and he looked up at the uninteresting ceiling.

“I’m a danger to the team if I continue going on like this. I can’t keep being unprofessional” you say without any direction of where you’re going. Price hums and interlocks his hands over his chest.

“Today when I pushed you out of the way. That was me not thinking of the danger, I just wanted you to get out of that situation that I was willing to disregard my own health and that’s why I should transfer to another squad or different country entirely” you rambled to the ceiling as if he wasn’t even next to you right now. You heard the light rumble of laugher and turned your head to the side.

“I think that’s a little drastic and I can tell that’s not the entire truth. So tell me. What’s the real reason you want to leave” he was facing you now and you felt your whole heart skip when you looked into his eyes.

“Promise you won’t think anything different of me”

“Of course” he holds out his finger and you interlock your pinky and suck in a deep breath.

“I’m in love with you. I understand if you want me to leave and I agree with whatever you decide” you blurt out to him and his eyes drop to your shoulder and everything seems to click together in his mind.

Your body was screaming for you to run but you couldn’t move, this situation terrified you but you needed to stay and figure out what is going to happen.

He gave you a smile which confused you and then he sat up. “Well I wouldn’t want you to leave that would be a terrible idea but if you feel as if you really need to then I’m not stopping you” there was a glimmer of sadness in his eyes as he said those words but this was serious. You couldn’t be a danger no more.

“I should leave, before I change my mind and screw a lot of things up” you say and he simply nods and reaches a hand out. You grab onto it and he grabs you so you’re sitting up straight. He brings you into a hug and you feel as if he’s making this worse for you.

“You will always be one of my best, come back to me soon yeah?”

You were getting so many different signals from his words but the hug quickly ended and he left you all alone.

#captain john price x reader #price x reader #john price x reader #captain john price #john price

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twisted-tales-of-all · 10 months

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ATEEZ as Boyfriends

Anon request: Can I get a headcannon of what you think Yunho would be like as a boyfriend, a totally mysterious anon don't mind me

Let’s jump into the basics of the universe as we explore how each member of ATEEZ would act as partners, in age order. There are around 1700 words total in this dive, and this post is only the SFW headcanons for the boys, so it’s super fluffy.

Reminder: These are my own assumptions and not to be taken as truth. Take my opinions with a grain of salt. This is fiction.

SEONGHWA

Seonghwa is a massive giver. He's highly attentive to people he's close to and would be especially so for his partner. He will take the lead in the relationship if he can, using physical touch often to lead his partner around and protect them from dangers. He'll use any excuse to hold their hand or touch their shoulder. He wants to be touching you whenever you're together, half to remind himself that it isn't a dream and half because he wants everyone to know you are together. Although he'd be expressive in complimenting you, always making sure to point out small specifics he loves about you instead of simply calling you pretty/handsome/gorgeous, he would be very shy when you compliment him in the same way, smiling and getting red as he avoids your eyes. As an idol, he would know that he can't share your existence with everyone, but he ensures to subtly remind those who can know often that you are his partner, and makes sure you know that you are one of the happiest aspects of his life.

HONGJOONG

Hongjoong is a quiet lover. He's often focused on work, so there's a high chance his partner becomes a muse for him. He doesn't put the full focus on his lover in his life as he's such a hard-working and ambitious person, and wouldn't want his lover to focus all their energy on him either. He'd be supportive towards whatever his partner wants to do, but he'd be clumsy in his expression of it. He's all smiles whenever his partner comes to him proud of themselves, but will stumble over his words when congratulating them. Often, this leads to the dynamic mimicking those middle-school crushes who would pick on one another, but it works. He'd also be a photographer boyfriend; he has an ever-growing album of (mostly) candid photos of his lover for himself to look back on whenever they aren't together. Although he's quiet and doesn't want to show you off, he'd like to match aspects or styles of outfits with you - matching accessories, phone cases, or pops of color. As an idol, he's the type to massively weigh the pros and cons of opening up to the fans but might accidentally mention having a partner during a casual livestream. However, he'd be exceptionally careful not to reveal any details about you.

YUNHO

Yunho is such a sweetheart. He wants to be touching his partner constantly, as physical touch is an important love language to him. Most of the dates that he plans will revolve around sharing food, as he loves to see his lover eating well and enjoying his choices. He's a planner; he'll sit there and make sure everything is perfect in his mind before even telling his partner about the idea. Ever see a puppy prancing around happy to show off his favorite toy? That's Yunho with his lover. He wants to introduce them to all his friends, and he's extremely attentive to how he affects you. Holding you gently, shielding you without being obvious about it, and meeting you on your level during conversations whenever he can. He's also very attentive to your emotional state. He learns all your tells and likes and dislikes, so he can know how to help you when you need him. As an idol, this is someone who pouts at management for asking him not to reveal his partner to fans. While he understands their reasoning, he wants to share such a big happy part of his life with ATINY.

YEOSANG

Yeosang is another quiet lover, but different than Hongjoong. He will express himself through small touches and quality time. He doesn't need to talk to his lover all the time - feeling their presence is enough to improve his mood. I feel like he's prone to overstimulation, so body doubling with the occasional hand touch may be the best thing for him. Just let him quietly sit with you as you're busy working or vice versa, and he couldn't be happier. He's very expressive when he talks, and would love to make his partner laugh more than anything. Although he has a very clear sense of humor, he pays attention to what works best with his lover and uses it. Their smile and laugh constantly make him beam, especially if he causes it. I think he's silently protective, using himself as a barrier - both physical and emotional - between you and uncomfortable situations or people. Because of this, I think he'd be far too wary of the potential cons of revealing you to ATINY, so he wouldn't (unless he's announcing his marriage).

SAN

San is a gem. He's clingy and easily excitable and often impulsive. This doesn't change with his partner. He will often spontaneously do things for his lover, even if they told him not to, because he wants to show his love. He will be one of the most supportive people in his partner's life and will be extremely giddy about all the things they do and the goals they reach, little or big. However, he's also very sensitive to how he treats other people and becomes extremely picky when in a relationship - must get the timing perfect, must find the best possible way to say something; man becomes a perfectionist when it involves his lover and their emotions. Early on, he will seriously sit them down just to talk about pet names, because he wants to choose ones that are meaningful and deliberate while ensuring that his partner doesn't have any negative feelings towards them. He wants to use your name sparingly in the deepest moments, like the first time he says he loves you, so that it's more meaningful. Although he's the happy-go-lucky type and would want to deal with his negative emotions out of his partner's view (at least in the beginning), he would always want to know when his partner is unwell, even if only slightly. In terms of revealing you to his fans, it will take a long time for him to take any risks. Although he's trusting of his fandom, he wants to keep you safe, so he often pushes those parts of his life away from one another.

MINGI

Mingi changes a lot as the relationship progresses and he becomes more relaxed around you. Although he's always going to be his quirky and giggly self, he becomes somewhat shy when beginning to talk to his partner. Even for a bit after becoming officially exclusive, he will tone himself down slightly, as he'd be a bit worried about scaring them away. He would be the type to use subtle touches to remind his partner that he's there for them, and he'd like very much to be a rock for his partner. He's comforting and affectionate and will show softer PDA without much hesitation. He loves holding your hand and giving you hugs, regardless of who sees you. He's also big on mental health and might linger over your well-being more than the others, but it's always in good faith and you know he's simply trying to help you. He'll leave little notes or texts for his partner when they are apart for any amount of time, and will constantly show his love rather than saying it. Mingi wouldn't have to tell the fans about the relationship; ATINY would simply ask after pictures of the couple flood the internet. He's a bit careless with it because he believes love should be expressed openly. When his fans ask about it, he would have a hard time hiding his giddiness while answering, so everyone would know regardless.

WOOYOUNG

Wooyoung is the definition of middle-school love. He will pick on and tease his partner constantly and want the energy returned tenfold. He's an actions-over-words person, so prepare for constant clinging when he has high energy. Despite being very fun and loud and chaotic, the relationship will often bounce between times of silence and chaos, as he likes to focus on one thing at a time with all of his energy. When he's at work or focused on a project, he might forget to message you back, but he will make up for those silent days by giving you his ultimate attention when you're together. Suddenly, work doesn't exist - nothing else exists but the two of you - because you're with him. He will ask you an ocean of questions once you move past the initial teasing, wanting to learn anything and everything about you as soon as he can. He'll be sure to plan dates you've mentioned enjoying or do things with you that you've expressed interest in. ATINY would have no idea you exist because he separates work and private life so well. Why would they have any reason to believe he has a lover when he's always expressing his undying love for his members and fans anyway? It doubles as the perfect way to keep you safe from toxic fans.

JONGHO

Jongho is reserved as a lover. Although he is extremely caring and appreciative of everything you do for him and with him, he expresses his love in subtle ways. He never forgets important dates, whether that's birthdays and anniversaries or simply when you have an appointment. He always makes sure you leave on time and with everything you need for wherever you're going, and will always give sweet little kisses before you leave and when you arrive. He'll learn your favorite songs and artists to have an impromptu karaoke session with you while you're relaxing together, and will always have the next date planned out before you even have time to think about it. He's protective and slightly possessive but silent about it. He shows it most by keeping his hand on the small of your back or his arm wrapped around your waist in public, especially if you're wearing something more revealing. He would prefer you dress modestly in public, but would never fight you on your outfit choice, so he simply proves to everyone that you are his with these small actions that become a habit to you. He won't say that he loves you very often, but you will always feel loved by him. He wouldn't want to share you with ATINY, and he would only express that he has a partner to stop delusions from progressing too far. He'll know exactly when to say it and when not to.

#kpoparchives #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop headcanons #ateez #atz #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez headcanons #boyfriend ateez #ateez ot8 #ateez ot8 imagines #ateez ot8 scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez requests

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inkpot909 · 8 months

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Their Favorite Part of You Headcanons (Jotaro Kujo, Noriaki Kakyoin)

↳ Reader is written as gender neutral. It’s stated that the Reader goes along with the crusaders on their trip to Egypt (+takes place after the journey as well). Everyone lives AU.

A/n: Wow, I actually posted something! Jokes aside, this summer has been rough so I’ve been trying to take it easy when I can. I missed writing, though, and hope y’all enjoy.

Warning(s): Slightly suggestive content.

Jotaro Kujo

He appreciates your eyes best.

Considering the apparent intimacy that results from direct eye contact, it makes the question an easy one to answer.

In fact, it’s highly probable your eyes were what he first noticed about you upon the initial meeting. Whether he has to bend his neck downward or you manage to stand at eye-level, it’s a moment he’s likely replayed over and over in his mind.

Another reason behind this choice is also a simple one (If you ask Jotaro, at least).

He didn’t fall easy and not at all for shallow reasons. Many of his classmates throughout high school would fuss over him seemingly due to his outwardly appearance and reputation. Because he was the “popular guy to like,” a diverse range of people were noticeably into him.

And taking into account how much he loathed a particular group of girls that would follow him around constantly, his perspective on love doesn’t tolerate anything he would deem shallow.

So, in short, what he cherishes most about you tends to be very personal to who you are.

It also plays into his communication preferences. Unsurprisingly, he tends to stare at you…. a lot.

It was definitely awkward in the early stages of your platonic-at-the-time relationship.

Throughout the duration of the journey to Egypt, you’d lost count of the times you’d stand face-to-face without a single word being exchanged. He didn’t ever wince or turn away, and you fondly recall the sheer intensity of those moments having kept you perfectly still.

Understanding Jotaro better as an individual- as well as how he feels about you -progressed his stares into something you find to be heartwarming. Just catching him in the act makes your heart leap, and your mind reels with wonder over what’s going through his head.

A little over a year after the aforementioned trip, and a relationship forms. It’s by then that he finds himself okay with getting lost in your lovely irises.

Your light giggle when you finally meet his gaze, flustered and gentle… it’s worth it. He always catches the moment your smile reaches your eyes, slightly creased by upturned lips. It’s a breathtaking sight, having twice now caused a cigarette to fall from his mouth while watching in awe.

His knack for nonverbal communication is pretty much universally understood by the few especially close to him. However, when it comes to you specifically, it reveals a rather bashful approach to the relationship that you might not have expected. It makes sense, as the likelihood of you being his first love is... more accurately labeled a certainty.

Jotaro can be observant after forming a connection with someone. When it comes to you, this is definitely the case. Any excuse to look at you is fine in his book.

However, it’s been long-established that he’s not exactly chatty, so he responds best to reactions he can see with his own two eyes. And it’s in the depth of your pupils that he finds doing so the simplest (If not simple, it’s at least selfish given his own bias).

The main aspect of this type of communication involves him looking at you intensely while his body language makes the tiniest adjustments in order to voice whatever he’s thinking.

For example, him holding out his palm to you, as his eyes cling to your person, is his way of asking you to hold his hand. He trusts that you know him well enough to get the point. And while you work on decoding his own subtle actions, his gaze never once pulls away from yours.

He simply cannot help it; there’s really something special about your eyes. He searches for your gaze constantly, and lingers for as long as he possibly can. It’s as if he’s always seeking your approval, reaction, and attention.

Now, as the relationship turns serious, he prefers to keep his eyes locked on you whenever he can. Once the two of you start becoming intimate, it’s quickly apparent he likes positions where he can keep his face close to your own. Or at the very least, hold eye contact.

Jotaro’s shockingly passionate, holding your hand in his own while he directs his hips accordingly. Lips slightly parted and gaze locked onto yours without fault. The emotion radiating from him is nothing short of immovable devotion.

Noriaki Kakyoin

Asking him this question yourself garners a flushed appearance and a hasty answer. He’ll stutter, telling you it’s your voice that he likes best. From the way it’s delivered you wouldn’t be able to tell if he’s practiced his response in advance or simply grasping at straws. Still, it’s an adorable sight and your quite pleased with his reply. Seeing your reaction, Kakyoin would feel a hint of shame.

Because he would be lying though his teeth.

He wouldn’t dare admit it initially, least of all to you, but he loves the sight of your legs.

Perhaps you tend to have them exposed. If that’s the case, he’s ashamed that he noticed such a thing so early on. A lump made its home in his throat that day, halting his words and making his mind run wild.

Or alternatively, you may mainly keep them hidden. Whatever it was that first prompted you revealing your bare legs- a couple hours at a hotel pool possibly -he undoubtedly finds himself sneaking more glances in your direction than usual.

It’s going to take him a bit to mentally process this.

Even in it’s more innocent connotations, he cannot help growing flustered. He just can’t help but find it a bit risqué. Although not exactly self-prescribed, despite his occasional arrogance, Kakyoin is certainly the gentleman type. Far from the kind of guy to be caught eyeing up someone’s legs in any shape or form.

That being said, the closer you become, the more difficult avoiding it gets. He focuses so much of his energy on not even glancing at your legs that he does, in fact, notice them quite often.

It doesn’t help being stuck in a car for hours on end right next to you. Thighs brushed against one another by sheer circumstance. It didn’t matter how many times it occurred throughout the trip to Egypt, he would think about it afterwards each time.

And it took only one sly comment from Polnareff or Mr. Joestar to prompt a myriad of fierce denials from the redhead. They’d egg him on, speaking a bit too loudly about how he’s “checking you out.” His cheeks would turn fiercely pink while rushing out a defense, which did not do much to help his case.

Eventually, the journey reaches its end. The group inevitably dissolves, but the two of you remain very close after the fact.

By then, your feelings for one another are certainly apparent. It’s hard for you to deny it when the excuse of looming danger is no longer present, and in turn he couldn’t imagine any other reason as to why you clung so close to him during his recovery period.

And even after becoming an official couple, understanding how to express his affection is met with bashfulness and hesitancy. If you’re inexperienced like him, it’ll likely be comforting for you. If you aren’t, it probably comes off as endearing.

Yes, you both have explicitly admitted to each other how you feel. Will Kakyoin still keep himself from eyeing you in any way? Absolutely.

A discussion will likely need to be had between the both of you before he loosens up a bit. A clear omission that you like him looking at you will help put his mind at ease (Man’s so smitten he feels guilty noticing that your beautiful god bless him).

Once he grows used to the relationship and starts showing just how touch-starved he is, the favoritism he holds for your legs finally becomes clear to you.

He’ll snuggle between your legs while he games, perfectly content within your hold. Even if you fall asleep, he doesn’t necessarily mind.

A lot of the clothes he buys for you leaves your legs exposed. The expression of awe he has whenever you wear something he’s bought is special to that occasion only. A strange mix of adoration and pride.

You also start catching him on his stares. Teasing him over it is a sure way for you earn a blush, as well as a weak comeback. However, the smile adorning his features exposes fondness. Only you’re allowed to say anything, though.

As intimacy blooms, he gladly indulges himself more. It strengthens his confidence in his actions, and turns the tides. Moving frustratingly slow, he glances up at you after leaving an array of kisses and bites up your inner thighs. All while he’s mumbling sweet nothings, pure honey oozing from his hushed tone.

Of course, he adores everything about you. But there’s a certain vigor in his actions when he continues moving upward that’s hard to miss.

#jojo’s bizarre adventure #jjba #jotaro kujo #jotaro x reader #noriaki kakyoin #kakyoin x reader #stardust crusaders #sdc #manga #anime #writing #fluff #johnny’s work #headcanons

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hamliet · 3 months

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thoughts on how oshi no ko has portrayed what happened to hikaru (thus far) and any ideas for what his motives/role in the story is?

Honestly? I think it's doing a pretty good job of portraying it. TW for discussions of childhood sexual abuse below.

When it's first introduced to us that Hikaru was raped by the adult actress, Aqua doesn't have much reaction. On an intellectual level, he gets it, but on an emotional level in terms of what this means for Hikaru, for his development and for his pain, he doesn't get it at all. It's only when we get to Akane's expressed horror ("that's sick!") that we get an actual reaction.

The previous chapter was honestly acting and a flashback as it actually happened, and I appreciated that they showed it as violent.

That's something so often missing from stories of older women who rape younger boys (see Mary Kay Letourneau). It's not a love story. He's not lucky. It's violence.

Like, I spoke about this with a friend after the chapter, but the wiki literally says he was "implied to have been raped." Implied? He was ELEVEN.

I don't think the wiki writers are intentionally being obtuse or dismissive, but there is a subconscious way in which a lot of the world, across cultures, reacts to female predators of young boys in a way that is incongruent with how we react to men who prey on young girls. And to be fair, the latter is a far more prevalent issue but still.

So anyways, I was grateful the final panel of the flashback showed Hikaru being dragged, violently, away from a girl his own age whom he likes by an older woman who won't even introduce his son as his son. Anything Hikaru has, he cannot have.

I've written about Hikaru before, but yeah, he's a scary serial killer at this point who is likely going to target Ruby and/or Kana. He's a final antagonist, obviously, and his past abuses don't excuse him. He's somewhat modeled after Lucifer, and not the Hazbin Hotel version.

But I don't think Aqua's final challenge is stopping Hikaru.

Aqua playing Hikaru in these scenes is challenging him to do what playing Ai has provoked Ruby to do: to empathize and further understand their parents. But, the problem is that Aqua can relate to Hikaru's anger and hatred already.

Again, as I wrote previously, Aqua already is very much like Hikaru (albeit at a far earlier stage): trying to reenact and kill the perceived causes of his trauma and not able to see that he's not going to be happy with such an ending because you can't kill your way to peace.

What Aqua actually needs to do is to come to understand Ai. Ruby, imo, is the one who will come to understand Hikaru, and probably forgive him (not excuse, but this is very likely where it's going).

Ai seemed to, after all. She reached out to Hikaru's proxy (the stalker) and definitely recognized the white roses and knew who had sent him.

Yet she still reached out to her stalker as a human being and empathized with him after he had stabbed her.

If it had been Hikaru standing there himself, she would have done the same.

And lest we think this is solely an example of her toxic wanting-to-please-people trait taking control, this was also the moment--the only moment in Ai's life--where she was finally able to express herself without a lie. It can be both an indictment of the entertainment industry prioritizing pleasing others over your own life and pain and Ai's moment of triumph even amidst tragedy.

Hence again why Aqua's challenge is to understand his mother, not to kill his father as justice for her. He needs to recognize her love for him as her son. She wanted him to live. She wanted him to love. She didn't want him to obsess over her in death.

Ruby, on the other hand, needs to understand Hikaru... and Aqua. Thus far, while she's had the best growth of everyone in this entire series, she is still idolizing Sensei and Aqua thereby.

She needs to see him as a person just as Aqua needs to see Ai as a person. Seeing Hikaru's anger and pain and seeing Aqua's go hand in hand for Ruby (again, not a coincidence Aqua is playing young Hikaru in the movie).

As for where Hikaru goes from there, I don't know. He might end his own life like the stalker proxy did, but I think the fact that that's already happened makes it less likely. He might find new life even if like, in prison, or he might die sacrificing himself for his kids. It's too early to make those exact predictions... but I think Ruby understanding him and empathizing is key.

#ask hamliet #oshi no ko #onk meta #oshi no ko meta #hoshino ai #kamiki hikaru #hoshino ruby #hoshino aqua #oshi no ko theory #onk theory #tw

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rymndsmth · 2 years

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kyoto 2 (tangerine)

things do not pan out the way you’d hoped at your stop. prev.

Your mother was always very particular with you growing up. Not that you knew she was acting out of the ordinary at the time. You believed that everyone else’s mom operated the same way too, played the same games. Make up a new, fun route home from school every day!

Tokyo wasn’t perfect, but you loved it and knew it in a way you didn’t think any other kid at your age did. You had no problem breathing in the thick air, following its heartbeat in the form of street hagglers and the hiss of food frying. It was almost as if you were born from it.

In a way, you guessed you were.

Turns out your mom was indeed not so typical when you found out the truth in the most unorthodox way. To understand why you did what you did, there were two things to understand: one, you never had money growing up and two, you sure as shit had less of it now as an adult.

That led you to connecting with some guys you met while working in the club scene. They told you that if you did a few jobs here and there, you could make a nice bonus on top of your hostess money. Anything to get you out of the shit studio you were sharing with a guy who was your boyfriend in every way except the part where you made it official.

You were good with your hands, surprisingly packing a heavy right hook, but none of the things they asked of you required that skillset. It was about what you could do with computers. They’d found out from a coworker of yours that you’d hacked a streaming service so that she could have a free subscription, and wanted to test your level.

The first few months went along without a hitch. You were feeling super confident too, not questioning why tasks that were so easy and took less than an hour paid you so much. Questions that might’ve prepared you for what happened next.

To put it briefly, you hacked the wrong man and he got pissed and put a bounty on you. Little old unsuspecting you were walking home none the wiser to the rumblings on the street when you were pinched. A rival gang had captured you, hoping to settle some old debt by turning you in.

The tip of a blade was pressed to your throat, cold metal tilted your head upwards to meet eyes that were your own and lips the slanted the same way yours did. Confusing, truly, for the both of you.

Your mom might’ve been telling you the truth when she said that you were the result of a one night stand, but what she didn’t tell you was that the guy she had that one night stand with was Hikento Nakamura. Leader of one of Tokyo’s most brutal gangs.

Also, a man who clearly skipped out on daddy lessons. He took a look at you with distaste and gave you one option. You were to leave to Kyoto and wait for him to summon you back home. If he ever did. Until then, you were to stay out of sight if you wanted to live.

There was nothing for you in Kyoto. A part of you felt like you were dying, that you had died the moment you stepped onto the train and left Tokyo. It would be impossible to have to same connection with another city. The whole thing was just stupid and pointless and then you saw him.

And then you fucked him. Or rather, he fucked the shit out of you, and made whatever was going to happen next so very worth it. For the rest of the train ride, you couldn’t stop shooting flickering looks at him and imagining all the things he would do to you once you arrived.

Knowing your past, and your luck, you shouldn’t have let yourself get swept away. When you got to your stop, and hopped off, your head pivoted left and right and again. He wasn’t on the platform, he wasn’t walking off in any direction. That goddamn fruit had literally ghosted you.

You fished the last cigarette from your trench coat’s pocket, tugging the material closed as you huddled to light it. A trail of smoke bled behind you as you walked in whichever direction would take you out of the station.

The cold was disgusting, biting mercilessly into your cheeks as you hit the open air. A flash of the text message on your phone directing you to where you need to go popped up in your head. One look was enough for you to memorize the directions, your feet carrying down the first left and through an alley to break onto a busier street.

Two eyes found you at the ringing of the bell sounding when you entered the quaint cafe. Their owner slid a pair of keys over to you wordlessly before going back to cleaning an espresso machine. You muttered thanks, exiting and trudging up the stairs along the back.

While it wasn’t the Four Seasons, it was definitely an upgrade from your last place. The loft was spacious and industrial, lots of exposed steel and concrete. Up the stairs, there was a made bed on a simple iron frame. That was the entirety of your furniture so far.

You made your way to the bathroom which was thankfully clean. Water spilled around your mouth as you leaned over the sink tap to take a few sips. When you stood up again, you suddenly felt unsettled.

It was too quiet. The usual sounds of cars and laughter from the street below was absent. There was only the faint sound of tension in the window fame from high winds blowing outside.

You turned on the heating before heading back down to the cafe for something to eat. The bowl of noodles turned more into a companion than a meal as you sat there, pondering. How long did your sperm donor expect you to stay here? This place was too…nice.

The glass you sat in front of offered you visions of a life you knew you’d never have. Families, children walking hand in hand with their parents. Inside jokes without words exchanged. Groups of teenagers drinking milk tea and taking pictures with jeweled covered phones. Elderly people sitting on benches despite the harsh weather, nodding at those that passed by.

Kyoto was the kind of city someone flocked to when they wanted to settle down. A good place, a safe place. It was’t meant for a person like you. Someone on the run from a literal kill on sight order.

Your appetite was shot. For the sake of having something in your stomach, you swallowed most of the soup broth before turning in for the night. The loft was toasty by the time you got back, a think tank and underwear the only thing you needed to be comfortable after a much needed shower.

Shadows danced across your ceiling as you reclined in bed. You traced them with your eyes for hours until you grew tired of grappling with the concept of sleep without receiving it. Then, you opted to copy them onto a few sheets of paper until they bled into nothing with the sunrise.

You slid on your headphones after getting dressed for the day. The bass matched your footsteps as you trekked down the street wish the mission of getting to know your new area. There was a lot of what you'd expected so far. Places to eat, tailoring shops, a convenience store every few paces.

Had you not been sweeping the place like it was a mark, you would’ve missed that back. Though you’d only seen it on one occasion you’d be able to pick him out in a festival crowd. The mass of muscles contained beneath his fitted suit-grey this time. Whether it was arrogance or anger, you found yourself coming up behind him.

“Didn’t take you for a strawberry milk kind of guy.” Your arms folded over your chest.

“I’m not.” Tangerine’s attention was still on the selection in the fridge. “My brother is, though.”

A sound of amusement left you. So, was he in town visiting family? Something about that didn’t feel right which was hilarious in itself when you thought about it. You didn’t know anything about him, not even his real name. He could be some heir to a company with the way he dressed, or a con man. Maybe even a banker.

“What’s your poison, then?” You were a bit thirsty yourself, so you reached in for a peach tea.

Tangerine ran a hand over his mustache, finally combing his eyes over you. There were those blue irises that you found over and over again in your mind. They ran over you like hands, your skin recalling how warm and calloused his were.

“Two fingers of whiskey, but it’s not a hair of the dog type of morning.” He quipped, snapping back to the frosted over glass.

“What kind of morning is it?” That wasn’t exactly the question you’d wanted to ask, but it was the one you would settle on it if meant this conversation would keep going.

He mulled over your words. One of his ring covered hands grasped the door handle, slowly releasing the suction with a hiss. He grabbed a water, flipping it over deftly in a way that made a mundane task so attractive.

“I’ll let you know when I find out.” Tangerine winked, and walked way.

You were left there gaping, unsure if you should trail after him or not. After all, you’d never gotten a chance to bring up the whole train bathroom thing. Maybe that was for the best. It wouldn’t have been a good look for you to fall over him any more than you already had. That’s what men like him were used to, what they wanted.

By then time you’d brought yourself out of your thoughts, he was long gone. You paid for your drink and went along with your day. By the time night fell, you felt like you were able to take the pulse of this city.

It wasn’t as innocent as it appeared to be. As the sun disappeared, familiar scenes creeped out. Heads hung low on the ends of corners, exchanges almost too quick to catch made as people walked by one another. Closed and guarded doors at the end of hallways in storefronts that descended from the street into stairs.

Where Tokyo was loud and shameless with its grit, it was hidden, almost insidious in Kyoto. It crawled in the breeze like whispers, a warning of sorts. Dirty signs flashing that everything you saw was an illusion.

That night, you were able to sleep. And the following day, you found yourself out again. You were intrigued by this place, hungry to delve into its underbelly despite that being the very last thing you should do.

You found yourself on the other side of town from where you lived. It was less mom and pop, more commercial. A lot of well known chains littered the streets, people adorned in expensive and well-fitted clothing fluttered around with the latest phones held to their ears. You stepped outside after getting a coffee for a smoke, running into a familiar face.

“Are you following me?” There was a smile in your voice, though your expression gave nothing away.

“How do you want me to answer that?” Tangerine flicked his own cig to the tar, turning to you. “Say no? I haven’t been watching your every move,” He walked towards you and you found yourself moving backwards under his piercing gaze. “How easy it’s been to keep tabs on you even though you don’t know where you’re going or what you’re doing?”

Coolness pressed into your back as it met the stone wall beside the building. You were looking up at him, jaw clenched. It was frustrating because you didn’t know what you wanted. Or rather, you did, you just weren’t sure of the order you wanted the sequence of events to occur in.

You wanted him to answer your question directly, not dancing around the truth. And for him to stop this little thing he was doing. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but you knew that he knew you were thinking about the other day. Still dangling on the edge of his hook, both fighting to be free and hoping to be devoured.

“Nothing to say now? Funny, you were being such a brat earlier.” Tangerine tucked a lock of hair behind your ear.

He was so annoying, you just wanted to shut him up. So, you did. You pulled him in by his black blazer in a bruising kiss. Your teeth clashed against his, raked over his bottom lip, pulled it into your mouth. Tangerine made a sound that you wished you could bottle and keep forever, his hands roughly grabbing your ass to reel you in.

Your long skirt bunched up, right leg battling to blindly find the split so that you could wedge your thighs between one of his. He left goosebumps in the wake of his touch as it crept up your bare skin. You palmed him through his pants, groaning when you felt him responding.

“I’d love to, but I’ve got a hot date.” Tangerine pulled away, smirking.

“Hotter than this?” You raised bravely.

Another heated exchanged followed. Your lips on his neck, on the sliver of exposed collarbone. His hands grabbing as much of your breasts as they could, kneading them through your sweater.

“Not even close.” He rasped, then groaned. “You’re gonna kill me, love.”

Well you certainly didn’t hope so. At least not before you got what you needed from him. He finally put enough distance between your bodies to let the cool air reclaim you. His hands straightened out his suit as he casted one final burning glance in your direction.

“We’ll finish this next time.” Tangerine said.

You were left shaking and worked up, wondering when that would be.

#tangerine #tangerine x reader #aaron taylor johnson #bullet train #tangerine bullet train #fics.n

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cherrypikkins · 9 months

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FE3H OC: Kitt Burgess - Support Conversations and Artwork

From an earlier poll, I wrote support conversations for the top three characters with my FE3H OC, Kitt (they/them). I also did some semi-related artwork. :3

More reading below the cut!

Hapi – Support Level C

Scene: Forest

Kitt: That was a close call. Way too close for my liking. You're not hurt anywhere, are you?

Hapi: I'm fine. Also, I could have handled it on my own without you butting in.

Kitt: I...suppose? Though with a Demonic Beast this huge, I'd rather not take any chances. What happened, by the way?

Hapi: What do you think happened? I was in a bad mood and sighed before I could stop myself. I do that, okay? Sometimes I can't help myself, so spare me your judgment.

Kitt: Right. Okay. That's what I suspected, but I thought I'd ask you first before jumping to any conclusions. No judgment here, I promise.

Kitt: Anyway. Since it doesn't look like you're hurt, I'll just run along and leave you be.

Hapi: Um, hello? Monastery is that way.

Kitt: I... know that? I still have a patrol to finish. But I'll head back once I'm done.

Hapi: Don't you have a report to write up? On what just happened?

Kitt: You want me to report you? That would be giving the Church free ammunition against you. Is that what you want?

Hapi: No, but that's what the Knights of Seiros do, isn't it? Keep an eye on troublesome kids like me and tattle to the Church when stuff like this goes down?

Kitt: Ha. Do I look like one of the Knights to you? That's a little worrisome.

Kitt: I'll just tell Seteth that I took care of a stray Demonic Beast and leave it at that. I'm the only one who knows you were ever here, and I'm happy to keep it that way.

Kitt: Or do you care that much about the rules?

Hapi: Heh. Not if you don't.

Kitt: I thought not.

Kitt: Although, if one of the Knights gets nosy and finds you here, nothing I say will stop them from jumping to their own conclusions. So, better run along now.

Hapi: Wait. Kitty-Cat. I'm sorry I barked at you just now. You probably figured, but I haven't had the best experience with the Knights or the Church.

Hapi: I guess I thought you were just another one of their lackeys.

Kitt: Ha. That's what I get for answering their every beck and call. I'm just trying to put out my best behavior, but Goddess knows they probably have a massive report written up on me somewhere.

Hapi: Huh. So they're keeping an eye on you too, then? They really are the worst. What sort of dirt do they have on you, anyway?

Kitt: I'm not going to tell you.

Hapi: Oh, don't worry. I wasn't expecting you to come out with it. Just thought I'd try my luck.

Hapi: Anyway, thanks for saving my skin. At least I know you'll be somewhere in the neighborhood in case something like this ever happens again. Which, I'm sure it will.

Kitt: Of course. Just come running to me and I'll take care of it.

Felix – Support Level C

Scene: Training Grounds

Felix: Hey, you.

Kitt: Me?

Felix: You skipped out on training today. Again.

Kitt: Huh. So you spotted me. I was hoping to be extra careful that time.

Felix: If you're not here to train, why are you even here? All you do is waste everyone's time, mine included.

Kitt: I was just stopping by to fetch my things. I'll be out of your hair in a second.

Felix: You're looking for your knife, right? I have it here, you know. You left it behind while sneaking off earlier.

Kitt: ...So I did. May I please have it back?

Felix: They say you can dispatch a Demonic Beast with ease, sometimes even a whole nest of them, without anyone helping you. Is that the truth?

Kitt: A whole nest of Demonic Beasts? That's a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?

Felix: That's what I thought at first. But I've seen you fight before. Why does it seem like you're always holding back.

Kitt: Not sure I understand what you're talking about.

Felix: There you go, with that act of yours. It's like you're afraid of something.

Felix: What's wrong? Is it beneath a slayer of beasts to fight against ordinary people? Or are you trying to endear yourself to others by pretending to be weak?

Kitt: If I was trying to endear myself to you, Felix, I would have gone for a different approach.

Felix: I'll say. Your attitude is really getting on my nerves, and you're not doing anyone any favors here. This is a military academy. Not a playground.

Felix: So instead of trying to fool me, and failing miserably, why don't you show me some of that incredible power I've heard people talk about?

Kitt: ...

Kitt: Because you're not ready.

Felix: Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?

Kitt: I'm not certain you want to know.

Kitt: May I have my knife back, Felix?

Felix: Hmph. Take it and go, already. I've wasted enough time with you.

Kitt: Thank you. Maybe one day I'll let you see what fighting a monster is like.

Kitt exits.

Felix: ... And here I thought the Boar was terrifying.

Claude – Support Level C

Scene: Library

Claude: Hey, Kitt! Perfect timing. There's something I've been wanting to ask you. If you don't mind me prying a little, that is.

Kitt: -sigh- Let me guess. This is the part where you bombard me with personal and invasive questions about my life history, correct?

Claude: Well, I wouldn't have put it quite like that...

Kitt: No need to dance around it, Claude, I've seen that look of yours. So do your worst and let's get this over with.

Claude: Cutting right to the chase, are we? Fine by me. Let's start with the basics.

Claude: You were born in a remote village in the southern part of the Oghma mountains, correct? Does that... make you Imperial by birth?

Kitt: Geographically speaking, yes. But there are a handful of remote communities scattered across Fodlan that neither the Empire, the Kingdom, nor the Alliance bother to keep tabs on.

Kitt: Mainly because we aren't important from an economic or militaristic standpoint.

Kitt: My village is - was - one such settlement. We didn't have ties to any of the ruling powers, and we rarely ever dealt with the outside world, unless it was with the Church. With some exceptions.

Claude: Okay. That I can understand, except for one small detail. I'm pretty sure I've asked everyone up and down the monastery. Why does it seem like no one has ever heard of your village?

Kitt: If you're caught up on recent history, you should know that my village doesn't exist anymore. It was wiped out by Demonic Beasts. Things like that happen all the time. Surely you and the others must have heard.

Claude: Well...yeah. But that's what makes the whole thing so bizarre.

Claude: If it was wiped out a few years ago, there has to be a record somewhere. As you say, things like that happen every so often, and it's not exactly secret knowledge when they do.

Claude: But I've searched just about everywhere in this library, and I haven't found anything written in the past decade about a village in the Oghma Mountains that was destroyed by monsters. Let alone one with a sole survivor.

Kitt: I'm not sure I'd call myself a 'sole survivor'. ...I mean, there could have been others, but the Knights never bothered to confirm it.

Claude: Is that so? For a disaster like that, you'd think they'd keep some kind of documentation. ...Unless the documents are missing, somehow. Do you think they were confiscated by the Church for some reason?

Kitt: I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised. Books disappear from this library all the time at the behest of the Church.

Claude: But these aren't just books written by some random dissident. These are recent historical records. Without them, it's like your village never existed in the first place! Doesn't that bother you?

Kitt: It's clearly bothering you, though I can't understand why. Exactly how far are you willing to go just to satisfy that curiosity of yours?

Claude: Well for starters, I could ask you the name of your village. It's just a name, but you'd be giving me a lead, at the very least.

Kitt: Perhaps. But that's dangerous knowledge you're chasing after. I'd rather not.

Claude: Hey, hold on a second. You said I was allowed to ask you 'personal and invasive' questions about your life history.

Kitt: True. But I never promised that I would answer them fully, honestly, or at all. The Church prefers that I keep my mouth shut, and ... it's better that I play by their rules.

Kitt: I'm sorry, Claude.

Claude: Right, well. It's not like I've done much to earn your trust. So, I don't blame you for playing it safe, especially when the Church is involved.

Claude: I guess that means you don't know the whole truth of what happened either.

Kitt: No. But I don't let it bother me. Everything about my village ... well, it's all ancient history now.

Kitt: ...Good luck with your research, though. Do let me know if you find out anything new.

Kitt leaves

Claude: Huh? I mean... For sure. I'll keep you updated.

Claude: Ancient history, huh...? Not bad for a lead.

#fe3h #fire emblem three houses #fe3h oc #felix hugo fraldarius #claude von riegan #fe3h hapi #fe3h art #cw body horror

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iamgodsoopsie · 4 months

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Astarion Headcanons (that you probably won't like) Pt. 2:

Part 1 link

Part 3 link

More Astarion headcanons! (that are mostly me projecting but with an Astarion flavored twist.)

BG3 does an excellent job at depicting SA trauma and the beginning of the healing process/journey. Many of the headcanons I've seen floating around (intentionally or unintentionally) gloss over the uglier side of healing from (prolonged) trauma. I'm not judging anyone for magically healing him, he's fictional after all, but I'd like to make some more ...realistic... headcanons.

Disclaimer: Everyone's healing process looks different, but they tend share commonalities. These headcanons are based on my own experiences. Not everyone who is healing from their trauma will experience what I have or have experienced it like I have.

[Please don't message me with explicit details about your trauma. I am at the point in my healing journey where I can share my experiences, and commiserate with other's similar experiences, but I am unable to support others in a more personal manner at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your healing process/ journey.]

Spoiler warning

Mental illness, SA, & DV Trigger Warnings: I cannot stress these enough this post is much more descriptive and potentially triggering than part one was.

These headcanons are based on an Astarion who is still a spawn and romantically involved with a Tav who honestly loves him and isn't abusive or manipulative. Also Cazador is dead and Astarion got to stab him. They also assume that he himself does not turn into Cazador 2.0 or Wish.com Cazador.

I hope you're ready for abrupt mood swings.

--- One minute he's codependent and can't make a decision on his own because he's overwhelmed, the next he's hyper-independent and will take offense at any suggestion you make.

----- Astarion is aware that staying in either of the two extremes is unhealthy and would eventually lead him to acting like Cazador.

^ This ties into point two: You need walk the fine line between patient and understanding while he processes "200 years of Shit. PURE SHIT!". And at the same time you need to be firm in your own boundaries with how you allow him to treat you.

--- He's gone 200 years without autonomy and has no memory of what life was like before Cazador turned him. He has no frame of reference other than romance novels and watching couples interact with each other from afar.

-----TBH the best thing for him is to stay in regular contact with Halsin. The man has the same flavor as trauma as Astarion while also having strong boundaries and open honest/ healthy communication in his relationships. He can unjudgementally help Astarion navigate the pitfalls of his healing journey through first hand experience.

Plus Ultra Catholic levels of guilt.

--- Guilt for what he did while he was a spawn. Guilt for how he started his relationship with you (even after you've told him you forgive him multiple times). Guilt for how he lashes out at the one person who has shown him unconditional love (you). Guilt because he feels like he's dragging you down into his darkness and tainting you. Guilt because he fears he's pulling you down to bring himself up. Guilt for feeling guilty because it doesn't absolve him of his sins and makes healing harder.

Self-esteem issues

--- He was SA'd for 200 years, he was forced into prostitution, he was tortured in every conceivable way, he was made to do reprehensible things and learned to find "joy" in them because he would've lost all of himself and his humanity otherwise.

------ His inner saboteur (who sounds like Cazador and himself simultaneously- adding to his self hate) tells him that he is disgusting, wrong, filthy, a burden, unlovable, undeserving of happiness, a monster.

------- Like everything else these thoughts will become less frequent and easier for him to handle as time goes on. All you can do is love him while he self-flagellates and hates himself. One day he'll see himself as you see him.

^ Tying into all the points above, especially the one right before this one. You're going to feel useless. Most of the time all you can do is demonstrate your love for him and sit there with him while he is bombarded with years of repressed feelings forcing their way out.

--- In the beginning your attempts to help him will frequently seem to have the opposite of their intended effect.

----- It's important that you be honest with him about how you're doing mentally. It does him no favors if you set yourself on fire to keep him warm.

------- You'll be angry on his behalf and can't exact revenge.

--------- That being said you are helping him so much more than you think you are. I cannot express in words how much just being there while Astarion slogs through the painful process of healing will help him.

^ ALL of these will get less intense and easier to deal with in time. He will heal and move on from his horrid past. But, it will involve a lot of trial and error. He will have periods of exponential growth followed by a hard backslide in progress. But he will get there.

I wouldn't say that loving Astarion is hard, but it does involve conscious effort on both his and your parts.

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muffinsandstardust · 6 months

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Roier and Foolish: Father and son, one in the same.

so! roier and foolish, family that have a lot in common. let's start with what everyone can see on the surface: they're both silly, comedy reilf characters who act goofy without seeming to take things seriously. this is an act they both put on, a mask. the mask does a lot:

1. it keeps others happy. foolish and roier both are notable for valuing other's happiness above their own. by acting silly, they relieve the mood and lift other's spirits which is very needed on an island where so much trauma is happening continuously.

2. it distracts from their own feelings of loss and dispair. roier and foolish are arguably the people who have lost the most on the island over the longest period of time. they both lost Vegetta and Leo, Roier also lost Spreen, Quackity, Bobby, and Tilín. That pain weighs on them constantly but pain is scary, vulnerability is scary. Especially when that pain and vulnerability has been used against you. (Mike targeting leo, the federation dangling the possibility of bobby being alive) no one enjoys hurting, and feeling numb isn't much better, so it's easier to run from the pain (literally in foolish's case). saying a joke or being the joke offers a distraction, keeps their minds away from the pain. cheering someone up allows their joy to become your joy, temporarily. also it's not just pain they're masking, it's anger. burning anger at the justice of it. because how is it fair they're left waiting with no end in sight. how is it fair they're to go on goose chases with no reward. they're hurting and they want others to hurt but right now they have no outlet to lash out at so better to feel nothing than to burn themselves on their anger.

3. the third reason they wear the mask is to hide their skills. if they (seemingly) take nothing seriously, no one will take them seriously. if they act happy all the time, people will think they ARE happy all the time and won't bring up their more risky emotions. no one can take advantage of vulnerability if they don't see any, don't think to look. if no one look closer, no one will see how capable and how dangerous they are. for instance, they're both very good at PvP but they hide it. no one knew they were skilled fighters. etoiles and cellbit were the only ones who knew about roier, and until yesterday no one knew about foolish. he's not up to etoiles level, but he is still a skilled pvper. they both know how to kill people but they are very careful about showing it. they also use this mask to hide their intelligence. by acting foolish, people underestimate how smart they are. for foolish, it's typical intelligence. foolish is an incredibly smart character/person, he is constantly thinking through the possibilities of everything to the point he's overthinking. he is able to spot and create codes to the point everything he says is a carefully crafted code. "I never lie, but I try not to tell full truths." if you've ever heard the foolhalo fish code conversation, you know how much he thinks about his moves ahead. he thinks so far ahead his fans call him psychic because of how many of his predictions come true. something about foolish I'll expand on later is foolish doesn't like how much he thinks so will go out of his way to not think or use his inteligence. roier uses his mask to hide his emotional intelligence. people forget roier was the therapist of the server before niki arrived. he is incredibly good at reading people and understanding them. and he's used that against people. i won't talk on the spreen situation, I know very little about that, but I will talk on the quackity situation. quackity told his therapist that he had a plan to kill the eggs but changed his mind. roier used that information to manipulate not only quackity, but the rest of the server to turn against quackity for revenge.

now i want to point out the father son dynamic and how much it comes across as not only roier and foolish being similar, but roier taking after foolish. foolish considers roier his son and roier calls foolish his dad, and they care about each other a lot. Foolish is roier with the mask refined, roier is foolish with less restraint. Roier is foolish without restraint. not to say roier has no restraint, but foolish restrains himself to an absurd degree. foolish is almost too paitent in how he acts and holds off on retaliating. roier in contrast, didn't hold back from ruining the lives of the people who hurt him. he spent literal months plotting how to torture someone he previously considered a friend. i fully believe hfoolish is capable of the same acts if not worse, and we saw a glimpse of that with mike's prank.

"Not just you. everyone. hell will rain down."

but foolish won't act on it yet. foolish needs a reason to act, roier needs a reason to hold back. the reason I say foolish has refined the mask, is because while roier is good, people have been able to catch on. etoiles being the main one. foolish has perfected his mask so well, it's a detriment to him. he will try to allow people behind the mask and is ignored or rejected.

"that's 3 out of 3 people who think you're not smart enough to pull this off." "he doesn't care about his kid! he's having too much fun arresting people!" "I think if you like the people you work for and agree with them then you're not influtrating you're just apart of them." "I don't think you know what you're doing." in trying to convince himself and ignore his feelings, he's convinced those around him to the point very few people actually understand him or try to see behind the mask. so even when he tries to trust, and rely on others, he is very limited on who will believe him if he turns to them.

so because of foolish's paitence, it comes across that foolish's mask is older (and more worn) than roier's. with the father son dynamic ontop, it comes across that roier's mask is less experienced and like he's learning/mimicking foolish. i don't think that's what's happened as roier was like this before he was adopted, but it's interesting how much the masks mimic each other.

except the masks have been cracking. the eggs have been gone for over 50 days and people are starting to notice. people are noticing the mask isn't holding up. people are noticing roier becoming more and more tired, he's sleeping more and his eyes bags are worse. people are noticing when foolish's voice cracks, when he goes quiet or suddenly gets angry.

the thing about foolish and roier is that they can read people very well, and they're family. i think it'd be wrong to assume they don't notice the way the other is deteriorating. so we come to the three reasons why they were fighting before purgatory. 1. foolish words, lashing out when the wound was still raw and he was still in shock was the catalyst and that shouldn't be brushed aside. that's a truth he should have kept to himself. (and what hurts is it is the truth, one they both agree with but hurts all the same.) the second reason is they're different methods of coping. because roier has lost everything and had his hope dashed so many times, he believes the eggs are dead. because foolish has lost so much, but seen so many twists and surprises, he believes the eggs are alive until a dead body is before him. for roier, to have hope would crush him. for foolish, to lose hope would crush him. the 3rd reason I would like to circle back to how easy they can read and understand people. now imagine your family, who you know is hurting so badly (and so are you.) daring to smile and act like they're happy. they want the other person to break and admit they're unhappy (maybe so they have permission to break). it's infuriating to see someone (you) acting like it's fine when you know it's not, that they (you) are not.

but all this was before purgatory. the egg wars event has forced them to show how capable they are. how deadly they are. people know now how good at fighting they are. they may try deny it (they both did and are) but people know now. the mask has slipped and there's no putting it back. it excites me thinking what that could mean for both of them. what does it mean when people take them just a bit more seriously?

#qsmp #qsmp spoilers #foolish gamers #q!foolish #qsmp foolish #foolish brainrott real #character analysis #qsmp roier #q!roier

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ramenrescue · 1 month

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do you any headcanons/aus/thoughts on usao/ousa ? loved your analysis of ogata/asirpa

Oh boy, I might have too many thoughts about Usami and Ogata so this may have to come in parts, especially the AUs. I have started writing a modern day reincarnation fic for them because I am just very feral about these two at the moment, so if I ever finish that and feel compelled to put it out to the world I'll let you know. The thing about writing fic or manga is like -- I can write little snippets but to piece them together into one coherent story is very difficult.

Anyway, your ask came at such a prompt time because I managed to buy the Japanese volumes on Bookwalker for almost 50% off and I specifically reread the main parts with Usami, so they are quite fresh in my mind. I think I agree with other analyses I have read about Usami in that he is a direct foil to Ogata. And this can be seen in their superficial traits: Ogata has many square-shaped, angular, sharp motifs on his face, like his square-shaped eyes, square shaped iris, squared eyebrows, square jawline, square hairline, while Usami has rounded tips on his eyelashes, round moles on his cheeks, rounded lips (cupid's bow), concentric circles for his pupil/iris, and rounded brows. Usami excels at close-range combat, while Ogata excels at long-range combat. Usami grew up amongst a large family with many siblings, while Ogata grew up practically an only child.

But here's the weird part -- I actually don't think they are complete opposites -- I think they have some things in common. <- more on this later.

It is interesting how in Usami's backstory (Chapter 227), Tsurumi (in conversation with the dojo owner) refers to Usami as a "dog among sheep" and a "born soldier who is highly loyal, combative, and is able to kill without remorse or regret". Then, it cuts to Usami in present day saying he predicts the serial killer in Sapporo will return to the scene of the crime and masturbate while reminiscing of their crimes because he understands that sentiment on a personal level. Usami here appears to show understanding that he possesses an innate capacity for violence.

Ogata was always wondering about the whole nature vs nurture question -- like whether lacking remorse for the act of killing is something one is born with or a product of one's environment (ex. bad childhood, war). Usami is a shining example that humans can in fact kill without remorse, and everyone except Ogata knows Usami is an exception to the rule. Usami is well aware this is what makes him special and this is one of the reasons why Tsurumi values him so much as a subordinate.

The problem with Ogata is that because he appears to have very little personal connections outside of Usami during the war (which is... kind of cute in a pitiable way?), he misconstrues that people like Usami are the majority. Usami agrees with all of Ogata's skewed interpretations and analyses that "all (majority of) people do not feel remorse in the act of killing" and in doing that, he is straight up lying. Usami knows people like himself are in the minority -- and because his analysis of Ogata's character was so spot on -- I'll go as far to say Usami knows Ogata is "normal" -- because if Ogata were truly a "born soldier" like Usami, he would not be ruminating about the philosophy of guilt and killing and questioning himself and bouncing his ideas off of another person -- he would just simply, be. Usami receives further confirmation that Ogata is simply, "just a guy", when he overhears Ogata calling Yusaku's name in his sleep. Usami also calls Ogata a snot-nosed brat quite a number of times, and I think that is alluding to Usami knowing that Ogata is just a sheep wearing wolf's skin.

It's interesting that Ogata entrusted the inner workings of his mind to Usami. I thought about this and I came to the conclusion that maybe he saw his own mother in Usami -- which I know, it's kind of insane, but I'm going somewhere with this! In Chapter 304, when Ogata is reminiscing about his mother, it appears she has a prominent cupid's bow -- a physical characteristic possessed by Usami. His mother likely called Ogata by his first name, and Usami is shown to be THE only person in present day who calls Ogata by his first name. Ogata's mom was head over heels over a man in a position of power with a wife who never returned the same level of love, while Usami is head over heels over a "promiscuous" man in a position of power who will likely never return the same level of affection that he's outputting. Another interesting side note: Usami chides Ogata for being the illegitimate son of an escort* and back in the Edo period, women in the business would chop off their pinkie as a sign of loyalty to their patron. Although Ogata likely did not have a good vantage point (nor did he care) to observe Usami's final moments, I think it's still worth mentioning that Usami getting his pinkie chomped off by Tsurumi resembles an escort chopping off her finger as a sign of ultimate devotion to her customer, lol. Anyway, I think because Ogata drew parallels between Yusaku and Asirpa, it is not so far fetched that he saw his mother in Usami -- and ultimately his projection made him trust Usami more than one ever should. There is one more important evidence that Ogata saw his mother in Usami -- in that he killed both of them with similar intent. He killed his mom not out of hatred, but because he wanted to put her out of her misery -- and he thought that if his father came to her funeral, she would be happy. Before he shoots Usami, he says something like "if you're so worried about being Tsurumi's cheapest pawn, why don't you see what his face looks like at your funeral," and in a way, he is putting Usami out of his miserable state of feeling inadequate. Ogata killed his mother with conviction that the positive outcome would happen, while he kills Usami with more of a neutral outlook -- and interestingly, Ogata, by killing Usami, gave Usami the thing he wanted most in life -- a reaffirmation from Tsurumi that he was his one and only (which, whether Tsurumi was telling the truth or not is dubious from a reader's POV, but alas, we are happy for Usami).

So here we return to my earlier point -- that they are crafted to be very different from each other, but they do possess similarities. One obvious one is that they both yearn for affection from Tsurumi -- which highlights another difference in that, yes they both yearn for love, but the love they seek are different. Usami yearns for love from one person and one person only, while Ogata is more agnostic and yearns for love from pretty much anyone who is willing to give him attention. But here's the thing -- I think Ogata's yearning for affection is a product of his environment -- and I think Usami's yearning to be someone's one and only, is also a product of his environment! I think that because he grew up in a large family, the love from his parents was dispersed amongst all of their children***, fostering an environment ripe for someone like Tsurumi to sweep him off his feet and pour "love" into this near-empty vessel. Usami felt intoxicated by the notion of being someone's one and only, that his jealousy-filled-rage led him to murder. I'd argue that without the addition of Tsurumi, there would be no Usami. Tsurumi compared Usami not to a wolf or a bear -- but a domesticated dog -- which is not, by itself, likely to commit acts of violence**. A soldier becomes a soldier only when commanded -- STEERED in the right direction, much like a dog will become violent when raised to do so. Therefore, a version of Usami who never met a sweet-talker like Tsurumi in his formative years, would likely not grow up to be an ultra-loyal killing-machine. To sum, I believe Usami's capacity for violence is an innate quality that can only be harnessed by the right environment.

Thank you for the question! One thing I still haven't quite wrapped my mind around is how after Ogata shoots Usami, he says "thank you, Usami, your death has completed me as a sniper." Okay??? What does he mean by that! I don't know! So if you or anyone reading this has any thoughts I'd love to know!

*=note that 商売女can include prostitutes and geisha, and the lines between geisha and prostitution was a lot blurrier back then so I'm just calling them an "escort" although Ogata's mom is officially known to be a former geisha

**=note that this is a sweeping generalization and I am aware different dog breeds do display varying levels of unpredictable, aggressive behavior

***=I just want to point out that Usami's parents are portrayed as being in love with each other, so they may have had that many kids as a result of lack of contraception. There's a scene in Vagabond with a couple who are having sex despite their many children crying out of hunger, and it kind of reminds me of that...

#asks #usami tokishige #ogata hyakunosuke #im just rambling dont mind meeee i'm just a passerby

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