#everything just aches

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Custody Battle: START

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #jin ling #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #lan xichen #Jiang Cheng did NOT care to talk to anyone else. He just straight up hones in on finding his nephew. #Jin Ling has had a tummy ache from all the guilt though. Look at that face. You have to be nice JC. #The third panel should have had a more chaotic energy. But onwards we go! #I feel like I have seen very little about the shared custody relationship between JGY and JC. #It's pretty evident that JC has had a large role in raising Jin Ling. As too has JGY. They also seem to have a very familiar banter here. #JGY has 'the nicer parent in the divorce because he only sees the kid(s) every other weekend'. JC is dealing with everything else. #Anyways. This is how xicheng-ers can still win. Jiang Cheng is the 4th in the 3zun polycule. #He might just not know it yet.

[for-tymora]

A bit of an older comic (that I've been keeping in the back pocket), but I'd like to share! Maeve (my Tav) had a rocky start with a certain special companion. They didn't get along for most of Act 1, as Mae was frustrated with Astarion's more uncouth behaviors, and Astarion thought she was an irritating little goody-two-shoes.

They've both grown, though, and learned their lesson now;

(I am Astarion-pilled now, truly.)

#baldur's gate #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion #tav #bg3 tav #baldurs gate #tavstarion #when i first made this comic i didnt even know about his backstory because I had been sparing myself from spoilers #and then everything just started laying itself out and i ache for him now #he makes me cry #my art #maeve

[rotruff]

hii. your uncaring or cold f/o does in fact care quite a lot. especially in moments of weakness.

yes they care whenever you feel tired, burnt out and maybe they won't say anything. maybe it comes off like they don't care, but that would be ignoring how they find themselves taking up whatever work there might've been to do so you can rest a while longer without complaint. any 'oh you don't have to-'s get brushed off with a little 'go lay back down' or something similar. the shortness isn't because they're irritated, no, it's just because it's a little silly to them- yes, obviously they don't have to, but they're going to because they love you. maybe that's a little too sappy for them to voice, maybe they do reveal that, either way they'll find their way back to you whenever everything's set away and done. whether they're laying down with you or just sitting nearby and working on their own thing, they keep themself within arm's reach should you need anything.

yes they care whenever you're feeling sick or riding out any nasty symptoms. they'll go make any trips out for things you want or need without question, maybe making a quick promise that they'll be right back. maybe it's a little silly to think you're going to keel over in the handful of minutes they're at the store for, but they just don't want you to feel like you're suffering alone. they might not be feeling out whatever it is you are, but they still want to keep you company through it. maybe they hover just a little, if only just to monitor your symptoms, but rest assured they really don't mind doing whatever it is that makes you feel better. if you want a specific food or drink they'll be running through the rain if they have to to get it to you. if you wanna shower or take a bath but don't have the energy to set it all up or to really take care of yourself they're meticulous with it, setting out whatever they can remember you liking and what might help you feel better and keeping any touches gentle and delicate. if you just wanna lay down and have them nearby, they're happy to just stick around, so long as you can spare them the glances they're sneaking at you every now and then while you rest, relishing in the comfort and safety of the moment.

proship / adj dni

#self shipping #self ship #self ship community #f/o imagines #imagine your f/o #f/o prompts #self ship imagine #romantic f/o #f/o community #self shipper #self shipping community #selfship #selfshipping #my period is KILLING MEEEEE. full body aches + sore throat what if i died. what then #ibuprofen .... ibuprofen and water save me #save me water and ibuprofen #so. um. sorry if this is poorly written im so tired i just woke up from a nap i thought would cure me and it DIDNT #im like jesus christ on the cross im suffering everything ever

[panic-and-procrastinate-drawing]

so i did a jason redesign :)

#jason todd #my art #dc #red hood #yes i combined everything i think thats hot or cool into 1 #like bodysuits and jackets over them are amazing. #and high waist belts are amazing and pair great with thigh high boots. #also made a new symbol thats a combo of his arkham knight symbol/his rebirth symbol/ and current. #but i did keep his current mask tho i do think its cool :) #also i started this ages ago but only just finished it today. at 1:30 am. i am fine #also his boots gave me neck ache for several days :) #art #character re-design

[kaltacore]

no but essek's abnormal behaviours in the last arc and especially in episode 140 are my roman empire. which is ironic because aeor is something of a roman empire itself. but in all seriousness, it was the episode that made me realise i love essek and his development so much and it kinda summarised it even before caleb's epilogue.

and i mean the "it's not fair" scene specifically. it's like, an epitome of his whole character progression from a person who put An Objectively Important Goal above all else without hesitation to someone who can't help but care for people around even more than his goal, no matter how big and relevant it is.

the mighty nein - and he alongside them - pretty much saved the world and freed an ancient city from thousand-year-long suffering. they defeated nine extremely powerful menacing entities who managed to stay out of everyone's sight for years and were so close to achieving their goal and dooming exandria in the process. they did the impossible and became heroes and somehow, they survived, even though they had bidden farewells a couple of hours ago because they had already understood what they had been facing. and nevertheless. they made it.

and none of them was celebrating.

mighty nein are basically essek's only friends. he knew them to be very unusual people, to put it lightly, loud and stubborn and completely inescapable once they consider you to be one of their own. and they showed him so much kindness and put so much faith in him, they were here playing the most atrocious music ever and digging clay in his backyard for a spell they invented just to help one of theirs and asking him if he could bring them pastries the day after they found out he was lying to them and had started a war. they were chaotic and weird and sometimes unbearable but most importantly they were carrying so much hope with them all this time - a hope they could end the war, a hope they could stop the angel of irons cult, a hope they could get better, a hope he could get better, and now, finally, that they could save their lost friend.

and that hope shattered, just like that, the moments after they'd already made the impossible. they saved so many souls - and then could not get back just that one.

for essek "my intentions were never good they were important" thelyss it just. shouldn't have mattered. they won. it could have been worse. people die and when they die they rarely come back. they should've been happy everyone else barely made it alive.

but for some reason, mighty nein being so defeated after they saved the world exposed him to that overwhelming feeling of injustice and unfairness. and i mean, there were many things essek considered to be unfair, but when i watched his first appearance and his interactions with mighty nein later on til their reunion in aeor arc, i wouldn't dare to guess that one of the things on that list would be something that personal. and personal not even to him.

the thing is, essek didn't even know who that guy was. why mighty nein cared about him so much. he had an idea, i guess, that he was their friend once, or someone in that body was. it was also a person who wanted to unleash a terrifying horrific aberration onto the material plane. it was a person very dedicated to killing essek and his friends - and they still didn't take any pleasure in fighting him. essek didn't feel strongly about lucien or molly, because he never knew them.

i don't think he mourned his death and failed resurrection. he mourned mighty nein's hope, the one they put in him when they had no reason to, the one they offered yasha in the cathedral and the one they kept after the spell for veth failed and the one they carried til the very end because they wanted it to reach molly. they had saved people with this hope. they had saved nations. they had saved the world. but they ended up feeling like it hadn't even been worth anything.

how desperate would it feel, witnessing people who for some reason always saw good in you when they absolutely shouldn't, who made literal miracles out of nothing, who ended wars and fought gods and tricked the hags and freed cities from horrors beyond anyone's comprehension purely because they thought it was the right thing to do and also loved their friends this much, silently crying over a dead body they couldn't bring back to life? how desperate would it feel to realise that with all your knowledge about time you dedicated your life to and threw away any principles for, you can't undo this? no one can. some things are left to fate alone and this time it wasn't kind to them. no matter how much good they did, they still got slapped in the face.

and it was, i think, such a genuine moment of empathy. like, essek is the character who prefers to put up a facade and act distant and self-composed but this time he just. walked away unable to watch this. the could only say to fjord that it wasn't fair. even when he was caught off guard in nicodranas he was able to explain himself and his motives to an extent even though he was a nervous wreck whose extra important plan went to hell the second the only people he cared about appeared. this time he had nothing to elaborate on. it just wasn't fair. it wasn't fair his friends didn't get what they wanted the most. it wasn't fair he couldn't do anything to make it right.

it is such a sad and beautiful and even cathartic scene because it is about person who started a war that destroyed so many lives - and then met this ragtag group of weirdos who saw a lonely stand-offish guy and said "hey, let's be friends!" and didn't even wait for him to answer. he saw them being serious and calculated and he saw them being ridiculous and extremely stupid, he saw their mistrust to outsiders and their loyalty to each other, he made spells with them and paid a visit to their hot tub, he ate their stale pastries and drank their hot chocolate mixed with whiskey, he was welcomed amongst them and in their wonderful home, both in xhorhas before they even found out what he had done and in the tower when they already knew - and then, he saw them mourning their loss, defeated and helpless, and he, a person who believed there were things more important than whole nations, let alone just one life, couldn't help but share the pain they felt. a pure display of compassion from someone who detached himself from it, who didn't believe he could grow into a better person capable of it again, but became one nonetheless without even realising it

#sorry. i cannot shut up about this. this scene stuck with me the moment i saw it and i just couldn't get it out of my head #i mean. i liked essek well enough. i just got attached to other characters more. but then 'it's not fair' happened and it sealed the deal #it was just. so beautiful. so sincere. so important for a character who just started to learn how to care about people #his reaction wasn't intentional. it didn't change anything. but it showed how humane he had become. how deeply he cared #mighty nein are no joke pal #they're gonna make you feel all these unknown emotions like sympathy and love and affection even when they're incredibly painful #essek experiencing closeness and attachment in all their forms. as something beautiful and something aching. is so important to me #they saved him because they had good hearts! and these good hearts sparked so much joy around them! #but if a good heart grants you an ability to experience joy so profoundly. it makes everything else feel like that #you get it. i hope you get it. anyway e140 did so much psychic damage on me i probably will never recover #in a good way mostly <3 but yeah. yeah. it makes me feel a little insane #the mighty nein #essek thelyss #critical role

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

the loneliness and sadness that creeps into you in a way that only growing up queer can cause. your parents can accept you and still make you feel like an outsider. your parents can love you and still reject parts of you. that old-fashioned kind of love where they think trying to mold you, make you tough, is better for you. or that quiet status quo where you just don't talk. and where everyone is accepted, though some are more than others. generations and generations it's just been easier to let it slide. to let it be. not cause a fuss. but then we sit there with a knot in our chests all our lives wondering how it got there

#this is about #all of us strangers #ofc your experience of a piece of media is molded by your own perspective #and i have been thinking a lot about growing up queer and how it still fucking sucked #for me. ten. twenty years ago. fuck it even five years ago #it still sometimes sucks #because i was raised without any queer representation around me #i was trained to be straight and to desire straightness #and anything remotely queer was mocked and bullied and judged #i saw it done by others and done to others so much that it's hardly surprising i did everything i could to Not be that #and the fact that i had to grow up that way #and that i still wouldn't feel at ease bringing a partner to a family event #makes my heart ache so much #i am often on my own and going home doesn't bring me comfort #it's like harry describes #it's just how it went #my parents didn't mean to make it like that #my mom even thinks it's sad #but she doesn't understand how it came to be #and i don't know if i can turn it around #adam's imaginings of how his parents envelop him with love and acceptance in the end #was a dream #but a painful one #a dream where your parents suddenly say all the right things #and for him they only did so bc they're dead and he could imagine whatever he wanted #/and still/ he imagined his mom rejecting his sexuality at first #literally so disgusted she can't drink her tea #oooooofofffffff....... #i need to think some more #my posts

[naffeclipse]

Okay okay, so there was an ask about photographer y/n being jealous of some siren that Eclipse met. What about other flavours of y/n?

How would Humpback!y/n react to some rival? As they are portrayed as the most chill one of the bunch. Would they be completely unbothered due to their strength and size? Would they get annoyed by the siren?

Would leopard seal!y/n straight up jump into a fight with the siren trying to woo their mate? Would they get scared of being left alone again and imidiatly assume the worst? I imagine that would be a hard situation for them due to the abandonment they experienced from their previous relationship.

Would Harpie!y/n get scared or sad? After all Harpie is the most incapable of ,,defending" their place due to them being a ,,prey"', so I imagine they would feel hopeless in "show off your strength category" Would they went off to find the prettiest pebble for Eclipse? Would they find another way to show the siren they are the boss?

At the end of the day I imagine Eclipse cuddling and comforting his mate as well as assuring them they are his birdie, sending the message to the siren in question as well. But I'm curious how y/ns would react and handle the situation

Sending love!

Ohhh, jealousy!

Humpback Y/N is stoic regarding their jealousy, and though they wouldn't easily give away how green they are, they would silently mull over what Eclipse wants. There's someone of his own kind—not a natural-born enemy. Why have them when he could have someone closer in form to him? Humpback Y/N would act aggressively if such a siren showed up and attempted to woo Eclipse right in front of them, but Y/N would also ponder if Eclipse wants this orca siren when they're apart. Eclipse would gather that something's eating away at Humpback Y/N when they're together and his birdie isn't focused. Once he nudged Humpback Y/N enough to explain, he would be shocked that Y/N hasn't fought this other siren yet if they're so concerned about losing him! Y/N would say they were giving the siren the courtesy of mercy in case Eclipse would be happier. Such a confession would melt Eclipse; he would hold Humpback Y/N's face and tell them he has fought so hard for them. He would keep fighting for eternity just to keep them—don't worry. He's theirs entirely.

Leopard Seal Y/N would be ferocious and fierce to any suitor attempting to steal Eclipse away. Y/N has terrible anguish from the past coming back to life and is tormented by a future where she and her baby are abandoned—again. She would be furious at how much she wants Eclipse to stay for Sedka and for her. An orca siren attempting to sing to Eclipse would result in Y/N lunging for the rival's throat without hesitation. Eclipse would intervene immediately to shoo the other siren away and pull Y/N back. He'd hold her as he demanded to know why in the ocean would she ever try to fight an orca siren who was not attacking her or Sedka? Y/N would be seething before snarling that if Eclipse wants to leave her and Sedka, he should never have stayed with them in the first place! Eclipse would shush her, soothing her until she stopped trying to claw her way back to a violent encounter and tell her how he only wanted her and how he wouldn't trade her and Sedka for the whole world. They are everything he wants and needs, and he would not leave his family.

Harpy Y/N would be in shambles if another orca siren showed interest in Eclipse. Y/N has no way of chasing off a would-be suitor and would be inconsolable at the thought Eclipse decided the orca siren would be a better co-parent than her. She would be frantic and in near panic, watching Eclipse closely for any signs that he was going to take the babies and leave her behind. Mentally, Y/N would prepare a list of reasons to keep her around for him and the baby's sake. Eclipse would notice that she's much more apprehensive than usual and then ask what is causing her such grief. She'd burst out with all the arguments she'd been compiling to let her stay with him and the babies (which Eclipse would agree vehemently with each claim, much to Y/N's building confusion). In tears, she'd be trembling in waiting for his response until Eclipse burst out in laughter. Y/N would stare in her bewilderment. He'd pull her close and kiss her cheek with such adoration at her silliness. He'd tell her softly and gently that she is the only mother of Sun and Moon, and he quite loves Y/N. He would even admit that he has a bit of obsession with her, and no one else, orca siren or otherwise, is going to lead him away from her.

#apex polarity #humpback!reader #soft underbelly #seal leopard!reader #cardinal instinct #harpy!reader #humpback y/n is just wondering if eclipse would get tired of their back and forth of being *enemies* and want someone who's #ya know #like him—which makes y/n ache (until eclipse makes it clear he lives for their exchanges) #leopard seal y/n is angry and hiding all the hurt/fear under that anger until eclipse basically says cut it out #i'm yours and i'm also sedka's dad so get used to me being around because i'm staying forever (which is everything she wanted to hear) #harpy y/n is just welp ;-; looks like i'm out of the picture — but she's a silly birdie so eclipse has to remind her that he only has #eyes for her

[enden-k]

taru, somewhere in the waters for who knows how long after he broke out from underwater jail, possibly reliving abyss trauma or smth, while fontaine is about to be flooded :

"yea hell be fine"

my bbg falling and scraping the entirety of his ass in a tournament :

#i rewatch the scene and THE INSANE FEELINGS I GET GAAAAAAAAH I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF HIS BRUISES AND CARE FOR HIM #HE HAS BAD POSTURE AND BACK PAINS AND IS IN HIS THIRTIES HE DEF TWISTED SMTH HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW EXIST AND CRY ABOUT GETTING OLD even tho he #never did so before bc 30 is not old at all but still young but its rather the realiziation that he indeed is getting older and feeling it #so its settling in and giving him a crisis he accidentally got himself into when he was just meaning to whine about his bone pains and #haithams just looking blankly into the camera before he continues cleaning his cuts and scrapes and tells him to calm down and stop fussing #and then kaveh eventually calms down from the entire tournament and the fall and brainwash attempt and the thing about his father and sees #that his reaction rlly was just piled up from everything that had happened today and just got out over smth as trivial as some aching bones #(and prob a twisted knee or smth) #im rambling its my mushy brain #i should focus on doing the trial LMAO #babbles #genshin tag

[softerhaze]

(♪)

me, an infant, not knowing that i’m a sim in a wants based gameplay (like, what is that.....lol) and that both of my parents (also sims) have wants related to having another kid

there was just a lot of simulated love in this little house okay!! i can’t get into it right now!! for emotional reasons!! *starts crying, drops the mic u didn’t know i had, storms off the stage u didn’t know i was on*

also amie doesn’t have much time left lol, i wanted to make sure i had a good pic of her with her only great-grandchild ;------;

#ts4 #*ts4gameplay #*sunday save #*sunday save gen 2 #z #*jay #*ruthie #*paloma #*amie #i'll tag everyone else later (no i won't) #gonna keep it real with u all....i love these pixels so much it makes my heart ache <3 #also this party was on new years but her actual birthday will be on fall 1 so i'm just #making everything consistent in advance lol

[blobpsycho]

This gif perfectly encapsulates what I love about Tome. All girls have been this gif. Like remember having undiagnosed mental issues and your family makes you go on an outing that should be fun but you’re just pissed off constantly because youre a 14 year old girl? Tome gets it.

Like YOU’RE GOING SOMEWHERE TO DO SOMETHING THAT SPECIFICALLY PERTAINS TO YOUR INTERESTS. But youre a 14 year old girl and nobody will ever take you seriously and you’ve just got this pit of hopelessness in your stomach despite the fact that nothing is technically wrong

so even though youre on an outing planned for you you can’t shake the feeling that everyone is just making fun of you for being so upset over seemingly nothing. These are your friends and family, you deep down they wouldnt do that, but why else would they go out of their way?

They certainly wouldn’t do it for you, right? I mean nothing’s even technically wrong. You’re just being a crybaby and they all must think youre just being a dramatic teenage girl. And you are and you know that you are so why can’t you just get over it and be normal?

And when you finally can’t take the pain that’s screaming in your chest because everything feels wrong wrong and everything is going wrong and everything is wrong wrong wrong you can’t help but cry. And you’re embarrassed and you’re furious and you’re supposed to be mature and you’re supposed to not care but you cry.

Crying feels worse than the growing internal discomfort did because now everyone is looking at you. They’re staring in uncomfortable suprise at what you’re sure is the most unsuprising sight in the world - a 14 year old girl crying. You want to go home but you can’t. You’re 14. You can’t do anything on your own.

You react to the terrifying ordeal of being reacted to the only way you know how - with anger. You monologue through hot tears and sobs and snot how you didn’t even wanna be here and how you just *know* everyone is just doing this to make fun of you and how they should just go on ahead and leave you wherever you are (you know this can’t happen. They wouldn’t leave a 14 year old girl somewhere unfamiliar on her own) and something in you hopes that they’ll yell back, that they’ll treat you like you’re irrational and make you feel justified in your anger.

…But that doesn’t happen. The silence persists but you realize that it’s more contemplative than judgemental. They’re not afraid of you, though you think they should be. Rather than letting them say something sentimental about caring and being concerned or any sappy bullshit that will only serve to make you cry more, you wipe your face on your sleeve continue on your journey.

The day gets better. After everyone gathers that no, you don’t wanna talk about it, it almost feels like nothing happened to begin with- besides the slight exhaustion you feel every time you blink and the intense stress sweat you choose to blame on anything else.

By the time you get home, the day is mentally logged as a good day. You decide - albeit tentatively - that maybe you’re going to be ok. Maybe you won’t be a 14 year old girl forever.

You go to bed and have the best sleep you’ve had in months.

#mp100 #tome kurata #ramblings #free to rb #though I’m sure nobody will LOL this is not anything #i didnt even mean to write all that #tome just brings out everything in me #like i see her and its like looking at me when i was in middle school #sorry if this is stupid i am not a writer #i genuinely hate writing so I’m suprised this exists #everything about here makes my heart ache with familiarity and love #mob psycho 100 #tome mob psycho #something about being 14 #being a 14 year old audhd unpopular girl who has yet to find out shes a lesbian is something tome could do in her sleep #and i salute her for that bc i also did that once #idgaf about the military they have nothing on being a 14 year old girl

[doll-elvis]

The story behind the pictures

“After hearing Elvis would be making a 20 minute stop, mother and daughter made their way to Union Station early that Tuesday morning

They stayed toward the back of the group of 30 screaming fans — Margie perched on her 5-foot-tall mother’s shoulders waiting to catch sight of Presley. Blinking and rubbing his eyes, Elvis made his way to the back of the train car to greet the fans who loudly cheered for him

“They just kept screaming,” Hollis says of the crowd of teenage girls. “That never stopped.”

Presley’s manager, Colonel Tom Parker, helped clear a path as Howard carried her daughter to the front. Presley then hoisted Margie over the railing

“He said, ‘Hi. Give me a kiss,’” Hollis remembers

Howard was surprised to see her daughter go so willingly into Presley’s arms, because she didn’t ever go to strangers

“Boy, she grabbed him,” Howard says. “It was great. It was absolutely great”

Presley showed Margie inside the train car after joking with her mother that he was taking her to California with him

“He didn’t set me down,” Hollis recalls. “He carried me the whole time”

Once back in her mother’s arms, Margie exclaimed, “Oh, Mom, he smelled so good”

She still remembers his smell, though she can’t describe it other than to say it was a little sweet”

(story courtesy of Dallas Morning News and Margaret Ann Hollis)

#he smelled SWEET?!?! #elvis being a dad #*womb aches intensify* #😭 #it’s so easy to love this man #everything I found out about him makes me fall just a little bit more head over heels #elvis presley #elvisaaronpresley #elvis #elvis history #elvis fans #elvis photos #60s elvis #60s

[reineydraws]

Saw your Mishanks bodyswap art! Very cute and fun! (Mihawk with a genuine smile on his face so so fun)

I imagine Shanks whould have trouble fighting in Mihawk's body at first since it's been years since he's had two arms

yes absolutely, i imagine that too! conversely, i think mihawk would have a little bit of trouble adjusting his balance and reach with a body missing one arm, as well. it's interesting to think about how they both would be forced to change their fighting style, and whether or not they would exchange swords.

mihawk's been seen using yoru with just one hand so he could probably pull it off with shanks's body. also interesting to think about shanks tripping up on having two arms until he naturally slips into his old fighting style again--or would he? because there's also the question of muscle memory, right? would mihawk's body automatically do things that shanks isn't predisposed to doing, and vice versa?

the other thing i find intriguing about body swapping in one piece is the question of whether or not your haki powers would switch as well. they say haki is spiritual presence, so presumably your haki switches if your spirits switch, but if it's the kind of spirit that's tethered to the presence of the body? then consider mihawk having the strongest conqueror's haki out on the blues, or shanks being able to use observation haki at mihawk's level, practically being able to predict the future--or mihawk, able to counter with shanks's haki-kill technique. food for thought!

#rei replies #one piece #mishanks body swap au #mishanks #akataka #dracule mihawk #shanks #akagami no shanks #red haired shanks #re: the genuine smiling #i also like to think shanks in mihawk's body would have this moment where he realizes his cheeks ache from all the smiling he's doing lol #bc mihawk's facial muscles arent used to doing it #and when they switch back shanks teases mihawk about it ('you exercise so many of your muscles hawky but your cheeks? they're weak!') #and he manages to get a smile out of mihawk that's mihawk's version of a genuine smile and it's softer and less wide but it's honest #and oh shanks is soooooo in love with him hahaha #BY THE WAY ALSO I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS OMG but in this body-swapped au mihawk-as-shanks would 100% shave for shanks #like hell is he gonna let shanks grow *stubble* on *his* face. dracule mihawk with STUBBLE? banish the thought!!!!!! #but shanks doesnt do it up to his standards so there's totally a scene where mihawk and shanks are body swapped in the bathroom #and mihawk is standing too close and shaving his lil pointy sideburns and mustache onto shanks's face #and shanks is having a crisis because that's his own face breathing too close and waaaay to intimately but that look of concentration #is ALL mihawk. shanks can practically his eyes--so familiar from the mirror and wrinkled with laugh lines--glow yellow with how #much mihawk looks like himself right now even in shanks's body. #it's all very strange. shanks has been attracted to mihawk for a long time but it's just blatantly unfair that the first time in YEARS #theyre this close again and it's shanks's own body that he has to look at. on the upside he supposes all he needs to do to ogle #mihawk is to look down. pros and cons pros and cons. #(mihawk isnt having a crisis. mihawk is annoyed that hia beard is easier to do in first person it is to do in the third person. #surely not having to do it reflected in a mirror should be easier and yet for some reason everything feels off! ugh.) #i digress

[ghostdrinkssoup]

thinking about the first time will sees hannibal after three years. how the highly sophisticated man he remembers now looks wearier, his hair a little shorter, the lines in his face a little deeper. how he’s been degraded but still holds himself with pride and dignity, refusing to be humiliated. how will is a married man and really thought he was doing okay but knew he was kidding himself the moment he laid eyes on hannibal again because it doesn’t matter how much time passes he’s still horribly in love with him and never truly moved on. he knows he lost his heart the day hannibal gave himself up, and it didn’t start beating again until this moment, three years later. and the ache of it hurts so much more than it did before. if anything, the longer they’re separated the worse it gets

#he wanted to know whether they could survive separation and the answer is no. they can’t #and will trying his damn best to keep himself composed during his whole visit #refusing to call hannibal by first name and everything #and hannibal *still* manages to see right through him and get under his skin #the whole time will is torn between throwing himself out a window and smashing the glass right then and there to get hannibal out #the same way hannibal felt when he saw will in jail and realised he didn’t want him there anymore #it’s just the inherent longing and ache of seeing the person you love growing older and damaged and vulnerable with time #and you realising it doesn’t matter what happens or what they do because you fall more and more in love with them every day #s3b angst from will’s pov kills me my god #nbc hannibal #hannibal #will graham #hannigram #ghost speaks

[spaciebabie]

what is it abt me huh. you peopel want 2 kill me. oyu want 2 melt my organs and put it in a goddamn ice cube tray. this is what you want? are you crazy? are you sane and in your right mind? oh my god. you want 2 kill me. you want 2 kill me and you're LAUGHING

#spacie spoinks #FROM THE MOMENT I MEET SOME OF YOU TOO #THIS IS JUST LIEK??????? A PATTERN?????????????????????????????????? #WHENEVER I GET FLSUTERED MY HEAD STARTS ACHEING #EWHAT IS IT ABOUT ME THAT INSTINCTIVELY MAKES PEOPLE WANNA FLUSTER ME????????????? #IM GONNA KILL EVERYTHING I SEE

[sentientsky]

"I forgive you." It came out like a blood clot—like an artery dripping gore—like an oil spill. Crowley felt his shoulders rise, fall, fall, fall. The air between them hummed, the tension of six thousand years turning every atom electrified and silently screaming. Breath shuddered out of him, human and terrible and hollowing. He had never been more grateful for the swallowing darkness of his glasses, for the way they hid the centuries of pre-emptive grief and wicked terror. The air was suffocating, the once familiar bookshop turned catacomb.

And then, hating himself for it but seeing no other way forward, he spoke the words aloud. "Don't bother". And then he was out in the middle of Soho and the breeze was harsh against his too-warm skin. Stepping out into the sun felt like rising to the surface of some great ocean—the gasping, desperate feeling in his lungs, the sudden crash of noise. A woman across the street called for her wife. A car horn. A dog barking. Laughter, cruel and far-off. He pulled breath into lungs that didn't need it, winced as he felt slivers of cold drive into the soft flesh of his throat.

So that was it; five and a half million years of want and need and burning, aching somedays, cyphered pleas for "our side". All gone in the space between shaking half-breaths and a kiss still seared against his lips.

Fuck it.

He'd ruined it the first time, had forced them both to look directly into the sun, to face the thing they'd been dancing around for the better part of six millennia. He could do better—would do better. At a music café some years ago, a human had been playing the piano—something soft and slow. A jazz number, if the demon remembered correctly. But the remarkable thing wasn’t the song itself, but that they were playing it with their eyes closed. Aziraphale had pointed this fact out to Crowley, excitement lilting in his voice (even then, the sound had thrilled him, sent a stab of warmth through his heart). It was only after the final note reverberated through the room that the artist opened their eyes, blinking in the sudden rush of stage lights. Aziraphale, ever the music connoisseur, approached the musician. The pianist had explained that, for them, reading music never came easy. Rather, they learned by touch, by the way the keys felt on their fingertips. In fact, the only way they could play a song was with their eyes closed. If they watched their hands as they played or thought too hard about their next move, they got confused and tripped over the notes. Muscle memory, they’d said.  It was muscle memory—the galactic familiarity of finding the space between seconds and prying—that guided Crowley now. He hadn’t done it since Not-Armageddon, but it came easily to him just the same. Time, you see, operates kind of like sound, like music; it loops and sways and carries forward in waves. If you know where to look (as the demon did), you can disrupt the flow, send it back towards the shore. 

And this was what Crowley did now. Drawing his hands through the ripples of minutes and seconds and hours and millennia, time stilled around him. It was natural. Easy, like breathing or sleeping. Or loving Aziraphale.  Slowly, the world turned backwards; humans retreating from whence they came, cars driving in reverse, the wind blowing in the opposite direction. If Heaven had taken notice of their "half-a-miracle", Crowley expected them to be able to see this from every edge of the universe. He likely only had one shot at this.

The world aligned itself once more, and time returned to its regular, steady gait—a rubber band snapping back into place. Something hummed in Crowley’s chest. Something bright and burning and the shape of a neutron star.  Hands shaking, he reached for the handle of the bookshop and pushed. The bell above the door rang, clear and and too-loud in the morning air. Aziraphale whirled around, a trembling half-smile on his face. Oh. Oh, somebody, this was going to be harder than he thought. It felt like all the oxygen, all the courage, had been punched clear out of him "Crowley!" A beat, a shuddering breath. "Angel". He pressed his still-trembling hands into his pockets and strode forward. "Oh, Crowley, dear, I've been looking for you. I have excellent news." His stomach did a little flip, something deep within him growing hollow and fearful. "We have to talk," he managed to choke out around the heart still lodged in his throat. "Yes, I quite think we do. I have something to tell you." Aziraphale strode forward, all grins and beauty like a flickering star, all plasma and heat. He could practically feel the agitated warmth roll off of his angel. Crowley shivered. "I just met with the Meta—” "No. Wait," the demon held up a hand, pausing the rushing torrent of Aziraphale’s words. "Just let me say my thing, please." "My dear boy, just—oh, what is that lovely human expression—"

"Hold that thought," Crowley muttered. His eyes burned behind his glasses. Aziraphale looked pleasantly taken aback.

"Yes, how did you know? I—" "No." The angel's eyebrows crinkled in confusion. "No?" "No," he repeated, enunciating each letter with perfect clarity. He was going to do it right this time. He was going to keep him from leaving. He could be good. Right? "I’m gonna speak, and I want you to listen to me without interrupting, m'kay?" Words were building in the basin of his sternum now, pushing up on his airways. He was going to have to say it outright this time; no more waltzing around this frenzied galaxy of emotion. Willing his hands to steadiness, he pulled his glasses from his face, and tucked them into the collar of his shirt. Aziraphale's breath seemed to catch for a moment, meeting the ferocity of the demon's gaze head-on. A deer in headlights. And then, "Crowley, I really—" (Eons hurtled through his mind in a split second, the serrated knife's-edge of want like a being all its own. Aziraphale in the garden. Aziraphale in the tavern, on the cliffside, on the West End stage, in the Bentley, in the bookshop, in the very marrow of Crowley’s bones.) "I love you," he rasped, ichor writhing in his veins.

There, he'd said it., said it fully and completely, without so much as flinching. It was the same love he'd expressed for the past several thousand years in a million little, unspoken ways: an ox rib, a revolution, a church, a burning bookshop and the bottom of a glass and a lost best friend. A yellow Bentley, a lifetime of tethering his life to Aziraphale's, of trailing after him like a moth to flame—like a dog to its owner. "I love you," he pushed on. They were both looking directly into the sun again, Crowley urging them to stare straight into the heat of it all. The words were spilling out of him now, a heaving, thrashing current falling to the bookshop's hardwood floors. "I love you and you can't go to Heaven." Aziraphale froze, pupils blown wide and unblinking, for just a moment. Tension stretched out like a thread between them. And then he pulled in breath like a drowning man (who wasn't really a man at all), and tears were gathering in the corner of his eyes, and oh god, he'd made his angel cry. Fear and guilt and horror slammed into him at a million kilometers an hour and left him halfway between dizzy and nauseous. His fingers tensed at his side, desperate to do something, fix what he'd so obviously broken. Heaven would be on the front step any moment. It was too late, wasn't it? It was always too late. "Crowley—what?" Aziraphale breathed, mouth twisting into a brutal, terrible, heart-wrenching sob. Crowley ached, panic lancing through him like a knife. "I—I really, I can't. You could come with me." He stepped forward, moving to place his hands on the demon's shoulders. Crowley leaned into the touch, almost unconsciously. "Don't go," he croaked, tears beginning to prick his own eyes once again. This time he didn't reach for his glasses, didn't try to hide his fear. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right. And then Aziraphale could hate him and his desperate, hungry, reverent love in the aftermath. "Don't go where I can't follow. Please".

His angels blue-grey eyes searched his own, and the weight of his gaze was impossibly heavy, pressing down on his chest like a river-smoothed rock. "Crowley, please. I don't understand. The Metatron said—" His palms found the sides of Crowley's throat, thumbs resting gently on the side of his jaw. Crowley sucked in a breath. "Angel," The scent of earl grey—of old books and soft tartan chairs. Aziraphale's hands were shaking. "I know what the Metatron said," he intoned, soft as rainfall. "You can't go. It's not—they won't change. You're better than that." "But you could be an angel. With me," he murmured, soft thumbs running across sharp cheekbones. "Be my second-in-command." "Don't want to be. Want t' be an us," he felt tears—traitorous, burning tears tip over the edge of his lashes and fall against his face. "Crowley, darling, please." A beat. "I love you." The bottom of the world dropped out from under him in that moment. Aziraphale loved him. He loved him and he'd said it aloud and now it was out there in the world and it was as though every nerve on his body was on fire. His angel pushed on, "Truly, I love you. I need you with me. Please, come with me. We can do good, I know it." He could never say no when his angel asked something of him. Especially not when his kind, gentle hands were holding him like something good, something precious. Especially not when Aziraphale had just admitted to needing him, had injected the word with so much warmth he thought his all-too-human heart might beat clear out of his chest. But there was a first (technically, second) time for everything. He drew in a heavy breath, and tilted his head, breaking his angel's hold on him. Aziraphale's hands—now empty, still shook. He made a soft whimpering sound, and Crowley ached to kiss his fingertips, banish the fear. But instead, he looked up towards the ceiling, to a God who was not there—who maybe had never been there at all. He felt the Heavenly Host drawing near, a sense of hollow emptiness, the scent of absence. This was the time of last-ditch efforts, of holding his heart out and hoping Aziraphale might take it as it was, bruised spots and all. "I can't. I won't. I need to be here, on Earth, with you." "Crowley, please. I don't think you understand what I'm offering you," he huffed. A residual shard of anger stabbed at him then, and he turned his gaze sharply back to the angel before him. "Oh, I understand perfectly well, angel. I'm fairly certain I understand better than you do." Aziraphale's mouth drew into a thin line, tears welling fresh in his eyes again. And still, Crowley ached. A beat. Something in the angel shifted, then, turned on its edge—the walls beginning to go up again, and it was just like it had been not fifteen minutes ago. He was watching the same moment play out over and over again; some cyclical, torrential nightmare. "I would like you to come with me, but," Aziraphale paused, voice breaking in the middle. "But I'm leaving, with or without you." And there it was, like it was predestined. Despite the love, despite the want, despite every shared bottle passed between them, every half-accidental touch and glance and whispered word—despite the way he would’ve let Aziraphale run a sword through his chest... It wasn't enough. It was never enough. They were re-enacting their old magic trick, right there in the bookshop, this time with Crowley staring down the barrel, letting Aziraphale pull the trigger. Aim for my mouth, but shoot past my ear. Aziraphale wasn't shooting past his ear. His bloody ribcage felt as though it might splinter apart. Wingbeats in the distance, a grief wide enough to drown the sea. Crowley reached down, pulled his sunglasses from their resting spot against his clavicle. And then the hunger in his eyes was once more hidden, and he was walking towards the door like a man headed to execution. "Crowley—" Aziraphale nearly keened, the wall crumbling for a split second. Without turning, Crowley said the only words he could think of. "I forgive you."

#did i steal some lines from one of my own fanfics??? yes. yes i did #because im tired and i don't want to come up with more metaphors for time warping rn. so hush <3 #good omens fanfiction #good omens angst #THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE 300 WORDS LONG #FUCK I FUCKED UP IM DEHYDRATED AND IM SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING AN ESSAY WHAT THE FUCK #idek what this is i literally have not edited one tiny little bit of this. i just came up with everything as i went along so i apologize #ignore the fact that the dialogue/pacing/ideas diverge from canon shhhhhh im too tired to look at source material #ehhh dunno how i feel ab this but whatever here's something (???) #take a shot every time i say chest or heart or ache or tremble #good omens #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #aziraphale #aziracrow #go2 #ineffable lovers #ineffable wives #good omens season 2 #crowley angst #final fifteen #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x arizaphale #david tennant #michael sheen #ineffable divorce #good omens fic #good omens fanfic #gomens

[silenthillbunni]

lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it

#idk it's just all too much to deal w #i have sm pains and physical discomforts. money issues. stress bc my avpd is making school very hard for me to finish #i have suicidal thoughts and really bad anxiety every single day. i've basically begged the mental health care system for help for 7 months #like i've kept contacting them and asking them but they havent done anything at all for me. i dont even get to see anyone and talk #i just dont know what to do or how to handle it #im so stressed abt the future. i have to finish school but then choose smth so i can go to school/get a degree & get a job #im holding my mom down and back and i need to find a way to kove out from her and support myself #i have no friends to meet or hangout with and destress with etc etc and im really feeling the lack of it #idk the list just goes on and on and on #nothing is working and idk how to fix it. but also i know that me and only me have to find a way bc there is no help #i struggle bc of my avpd and mental health but there is no treatment for me to get. they just dont wanna give me *any* help at all #im just so frustrated. and every day is the same. everyday is full of some physical pain anxiety stress worries suicidal thoughts etc etc #i cant break free idk how!!!! my life is so fkn boring and pathetic and miserable #i never get to relax bc all of a sudden last year i got extremely noise sensitive. and it's never quiet anywhere in this city #anyway yeah i could just keep going. and like now im feeling anxious bc my tooth is aching :(( #it -everything- never stops or lets up or relents. and it makes me wanna die even more. #so... idk im just incapable of being hopeful abt anything and that's really killing me idk