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tweetracer · 9 months

Note

Hi! I saw you wanted some barbie prompts so I had a idea.

What if Ken meets someone in the real world and he instantly found them attractive, they end up complimenting him which makes him want them even more to where he forgets the whole patriarchy ordeal and just wants them to love him because they didn’t just ignore him.

💖 Meeting RG!Ken in the Real World 💖

(RG!Ken x Human!Reader)

💖 SO YOU DEFINITELY MEET THIS GUY WHILE HE’S IN DAVY CROCKETT MIDDLE SCHOOL’S LIBRARY. You’ve been working there a few months as a librarian and while it wasn’t exactly your passion it was something that filled your schedule and kept half-decent food on the kitchen table so you wouldn’t complain.

💖 “Hi! Would you point me in the direction of the Horses and Patriarchy section?” The cheerful voice made you look up from where you were hunched over at the painfully old computer- double checking that all of the due books had been checked in.

💖 “Excuse me?” You said, completely flabbergasted by both the words and looks of the man who stood opposite your desk. He was tall; with golden blonde hair and sun-kissed skin he would be strikingly handsome were it not for the ridiculous cowboy outfit he was donned in. (Who were you kidding? He was still ridiculously attractive even with the costume).

💖 “Would you point me in the direction of the Horses and Patriarchy section of this library” he repeated with another charming smile, leaning forwards to rest his chin in his hands.

💖 “That’s…” you started slowly, brows furrowed in a way that made his chest feel weird and tingly. “We don’t have a section for Horses and the Patriarchy.” You explained as gently as you could, eyeing around in hopes of finding the poor excuse for a security officer that usually took his lunch in here despite the obvious ‘no eating in the library’ signs posted around.

💖 The man’s handsome face wilted a bit and for a moment you felt a little guilty for not being able to indulge his ridiculous request. “Oh! Silly me- could you point me in the direction of the Horse Section first? I’ll go to the Patriarchy section after” He said, chipper once again.

💖 “We… don’t have a just Horses section either..” you said again, watching as the man seemed to actually wither, crumbling forwards till his head was against the cold wood of your work desk.

💖 “Do you have a Patriarchy section?” He whimpered, looking up at you from where he’d half collapsed dramatically against your desk- blue eyes glassy and filled with so so much emotion considering the circumstances.

💖 When you shook your head he nearly wailed, sinking further till he was almost entirely on the floor- fringe out of place and hat askew. You stood up to peer over your desk, looking down at the handsome man near-crying on your library floor.

💖 You glanced around, thankfully it was lunchtime for the kids so almost everyone was outside enjoying the sunny Los Angeles afternoon, leaving your room mostly empty. You gnawed on your lips nervously for a few moments before making a decision.

💖 “I can help you find some books on horses though.. and the patriarchy?” You offered, not entirely sure what you were getting yourself into as he jumped up, smiling eagerly and leaning forwards till his face was a few inches away from yours.

💖 “You’d do that for me?” He said with so much awe and amazement you’d think you offered to hang the stars for him.

💖 “…Yeah?” It was your job after all, even if this man was definitely not a student or staff member as far as you knew. Maybe he was a substitute teacher (yeah… right)

💖 But the way his whole face lit up joyfully at something as small as helping him find books made your heart give a little skip in your chest.

💖 You guide him around, pointing out a few books that were somewhat relevant (though he really only seemed interested in grabbing the ones with lots of pictures). Standing next to him you noticed he… really didn’t have a sense of personal space- the man would lean close everytime you spoke up to offer your help in locating relevant books, big baby-blue eyes staring into yours as he hung on to every word you said, nodding enthusiastically.

💖 You felt your cheeks and ears warm go warm at all the attention, occasionally stumbling on a word or two and chewing on your lip nervously between sentences- eyes darting around to anything but the absolute ray of sunshine in front of you.

💖 “Why are you doing that?” He asked innocently, leaning forwards into your space again with only the flimsy spine of Horses, by Ryan Bessin to protect you.

💖 “Doing what?” You said, trying to sound collected and professional though your gaze was still elsewhere, skimming over the names and authors. You jumped a little when you felt him reach out to gently prod at your lip, freeing it from the grasp of your teeth.

💖 “You’re chewing on your lip” he started, unconsciously mirroring the action on his own face. His blue eyes were focused so intensely on your lips and he felt that weird flutter in his chest again. What was that? A side effect of the real world?

💖 “Oh sorry I do that when I’m” you waved your hand vaguely for a moments, waiting till he finally looked away from your mouth to meet your gaze. “Nervous.”

💖 His head tilted in confusion and you were unable to look at him and not see an absolutely adorable, floppy-eared golden retriever puppy. “You’re nervous? Why?” He sounded so genuine and you swear to god he needed to stop looking at you with so much kindness and interest or you may just explode.

💖 “You’re just” you grip tight to the book, “-you’re very… handsome” (and intense) you started again, cheeks warming even more when his face seemed to light up like the Fourth of July- a huge grin splitting his face. “I think there’s another book that might interest you over here!” Frantically you change the subject, thrusting the book forwards and trying (and failing) not to notice just how solid his abs were.

💖 He followed you eagerly, still smiling at you with those weirdly perfect teeth and that shamelessly attentive expression. “Thank you so much, Barbie!”

💖 You looked over your shoulder at him, bewildered. “That’s? Not my name?” You said with a confused but genuine smile. Was it supposed to be some type of weird compliment?

💖 The man blinked, baffled for a few moments before he seemed to remember something. “Oh! Sorry! Force of habit” he laughed, looking bashful as he fingered the pages of the book he held.

💖 (And you definitely didn’t let your gaze slip to those deft, elegant looking hands. Broad and masculine but spared any callous or freckle- his tanned skin nearly perfect)

💖 “So… why exactly are you looking for books on the Patriarchy and Horses?”

💖 He blinked a few times at your question, looking down at the books in his arms as though he’d forgotten they were there for a moment. His smile brightened marginally, and he picked up one of the books at random- The Origins of Patriarchy, waving it loosely in front of your face. “Oh! So I’m learning about this super awesome thing called The Patriarchy”

💖 He almost immediately noticed the slight downward tilt of your lips- and the resulting twist in his chest was not like the fluttering sensations from earlier. No this was… icky- this feeling was unpleasant (something he didn’t actually have a lot of context for) and all he could think of was getting that look off of your face as fast as possible.

💖 “But- uh that’s beside the point!” As flippantly as possible he tosses the book over his shoulder with a bashful laugh. You winced, knowing you’d have to put that up later, but the man didn’t seem to notice; too busy looking at you with those big blue eyes and leaning against the bookshelf.

💖 “O-Okay?” You said, blinking rapidly at him as you chewed nervously on your lip again, trying not to squirm under the pure fascination in his gaze, completely unaware of the rapidly shifting priorities of the man in front of you.

💖 “Oh my name is Ken! Hey- what size rollerblades do you wear by the way?”

#tweed peeps #reader insert #anonymous #the lost boys #barbie movie fic #barbie #RG!Ken/Reader #barbie Imagines #Ken/Reader #ken x reader #RG!Ken x Reader #headkennons

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servicpop · 2 months

Text

CURRENTLY VIEWING : slightly obsessive deliquent oc x good student male!reader

「ㅤSFWㅤ」ㅤbandaging up your (almost) bf adrien after a bad fight!

✙ warnings — mention of violence / blood / slight homophobia / slight suggestions of stalking or obsession

notes ,, first actual writing post... hope you guys like it "

Adrien and you lived two worlds. You were a model student, perfect in every way, whereas Adrien was nothing but a deliquent who skipped all his classes and failed all of his subjects (except for sports). If you two were so different, how did you end up together?

It started with an exchange of glances when you both started your first year of being a senior, somehow your presence was never known by Adrien until that one glance turned into never ending eye-contact, briefly smiling at eachother as you two met eyes from across the courtyard. His heart felt like it was about to crumble whenever you smiled at him. Your lips, your perfectly imperfect teeth shining at him. He had definitely fallen for you.

But how would his friends feel if they knew he was crushing on another guy?

As much as he wanted to hide it he couldn't. Everytime he went home and sat down in his chair, he would be welcomed with your face in the form of printed pictures stored in his top drawer. He knew it was wrong but he couldn't help it, you were so attractive you reeled him in like a fish. But somehow. Somehow. You and him talked more and more, exchanged numbers, hung out a few times and even brushed hands once! Adrien for sure didn't wash his hand after that. You weren't confirmed to be dating but it sure seemed like it.

And that was the start of Adrien's fall for you.

It was around 5:00pm, the sun still shining brightly but casted a slight orange hue into the empty council room, indicating that sunset would near. You were currently in said room, sorting the books, cleaning the tables, finishing off the work your teachers assigned you because you were such a good student. Yeah it was nice for them to rely on you but to be honest, all you wanted to do was go home but alas you couldn't.

Almost as if the universe pitied your unbearable boredom, the door to the council room clicked opened. At first you thought it was a teacher, but turning around you met the deep eyes of Adrien. His soulless eyes bore into yours, his knuckles dripping with blood as he stumbled into the room, almost collapsing on the couch.

"Got into another fight," He grumbled, his deep sultry voice reverberated in the room. Shit, his voice was hot. Snapping out of your thoughts, you quickly rushed over to him, viewing his bloody and bruised knuckles. It looked bad. Probably from beating the shit out of someone but you wouldn't question it. After some rummaging around you finally found the first aid kit, clicking the white box open before kneeling down infront of Adrien, a small smirk plastered his face.

"You don't have to you know? I just wanted—" Adrien's voice was cut out by a sharp hiss as you applied the alcohol to his wounds.

"Let me be a good friend to you."

Ooh... friend? That hit Adrien straight to the gut

"I just wanted company."

"Then your not allowed to hold my hand with those bloody knuckles."

"..."

"please bandage my fingers."

A wholehearted chuckle left your throat as you fished out the puppy patterned bandages around his knuckles, making sure you kissed each and every knuckles after. Just to make sure that there was no lingering pain of course, not because you two were had something for eachother or anything. You looked up at Adrien to see a small smile on his face, he was always so serious looking and whenever he smiled it was usually the shit eating grin type of smile. You had only really grown closer with him for a few weeks now so... why were you already hooked on him?

"You lost in thought?" He asked, snapping you out of your little trance. You shook your head, and he brought your chin up to meet his in a light kiss, his calloused fingertips gripping your chin lightly while his other hand found solace in your own. It was something straight out of a romance movie, his warm fingers against yours, his lips against your soft ones in such a gentle kiss. You never knew deliquents could be this gentle. Pulling away you wiped your lips and tugged your hands from Adrien's. You weren't dating him. You can't do this. You turned your head a pout adorned your lips, "Don't just casually kiss me," you huffed.

"But I know you liked it." Adrien hummed.

extra notes ,, I didn't have a full goal for what relationship reader and Adrien would have but i really liked the enemies to lovers sort of denial trope. I also experimented with the colour coding of the text, I find it easier to identify when they're speaking but let me know your preferences! I'm a bit nervous posting this since its my first time ever posting on tumblr but yeah! Also no smut yet, still getting warmed up you know

#servicpop — fics/drabbles #bottom male reader #male reader #oc x male reader #x reader #sub male reader #male x male #male x reader #mlm

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mockingkatniss · 3 months

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🎀 nswf | mdni | coryo snow x reader🎀

(I’m like posting about him so much but I have literal brain rot for this man :( )

just can’t stop thinking about coryo’s brain reduced to mush everytime he makes you squirt.

it happens mostly when he’s fingering you dumb, pink sheet crumbling underneath your flushed knees as his long slim fingers work you out obsessively. coryo doesn’t even bother to take his rings off tbh.

sometimes he’s eating you out simultaneously, fingers squelching disgustingly as a wave of pure pussy water choke him to death almost. the only way he wishes to die is drowned in your juices.

sometimes he just finger fuck you quickly and deep, fingers arching and pulling something inside you while he has his mouth opened underneath your cunt, tongue sticking out waiting for actual pussy rain to drain him.

he’s an actual angel when you look down at him, blue eyes clear as a summer skin and face drenched in water. it’s amazing, gut tingling. at times the wave is so powerful it will get his blonde curls drenched, leaving him with eyes closed and a “fuck baby, are you actually trying to kill me?” on his lips and with a laugh on the tip of his tongue.

it’s nice, he’s addicted to your squirt and he thinks he could just live off of it sometimes.

#coriolanus snow #hunger games #smut #fanfic #the hunger games #coryo x reader #coryo smut #coryo snow #corionalus snow smut #coriolanus fanfiction #coriolanus x y/n #coriolanus x you #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus smut #coriolanus imagine #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #nswf post #sejanus plinth

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rosie-writings · 2 months

Text

You’ve Got my Body, Flesh, and Bone Part One

Summary: You didn’t think you would let it go this far, but alcohol always gives you the bite to challenge Colby until you’re both faced with the things that keep you from being together.

Warnings: Colby x Reader smut, Angst, Slow Burn, Dom/Sub dynamic, Best Friends to Lovers, slight Predator/Prey kink, Overstimulation, Bondage, Overstimulation, slight Subspace

Words: 23.4k

No Y/N Used

Title is from ‘The Summoning’ by Sleep Token

Part Two

Don’t get me wrong, I loved my friends to death and back and then some, but they could be real fucking idiots sometimes.

Most of the time.

Perhaps I simply had a more conservative outlook on the dating culture in LA, or maybe I was traumatized enough where my hopeless romantic naive middle school girl heart turned into an all or nothing brittle young adult woman heart. Nothing was wrong with that, I didn’t think, until I moved to LA to live closer to my new friends.

I met them after my YouTube and Instagram exploded, which I know I said I would never do, but they truly were the most amazing people I met.

My friendship with Sam and Colby didn’t end after they invited me and one of my friends to film a video with them. I knew who they were; we interacted on social media plenty of times but never communicated privately. I also was keen on truly finding out more about the spiritual realm, so when I followed them into that haunted mansion, there was no room for bullshit.

I guess they respected that because not even 24 hours later, Colby was asking for my number.

Maybe I was an idiot and gave it to him.

I genuinely thought it was purely so we could have an easier time than clogged dm’s to collaborate again. And it was. We strictly talked about spirituality and paranormal activity for six months. I always asked about their investigations and he always enthusiastically responded.

I enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it.

The messages developed into something else, something with seemingly less purpose, in the autumn. I remember it being mid October when Colby sent a photo of himself. It looked like any other Snapchat or Instagram story he would post, but then I looked on his social media and realized that this photo was taken just for me.

Which was fine; I didn’t think twice about it. In fact, I felt excited because he trusted me enough to ask about the new merch sample they received. Of course it looked good and there were now flaws to pick out. I picked out a couple to make sure he stayed humble. Of course they were lies.

I learned a month before that they had private socials for their friends only. And, oh. The amount of tomfoolery that went on behind that firewall was better than the latest show I binged. For one, I didn’t realize that Colby saw a different girl basically every night. At least I think they were different girls.

At heart, I’m 100 percent a girl’s girl and I will always see the value in every girl but goddamn; I didn’t realize how easy it was to make yourself look exactly like someone else. I mean, down to the exact shade of brunette hair, body type, and sometimes eye color? It felt like I was the delusional one and tripping out on his new girlfriend. That wasn’t what it was though. A different girl was tagged everytime.

The boys weren’t unfamiliar with posting edgier photos whether it be in the middle of an abandoned place that could crumble and kill them before they thought to react, or it be them posing with minimal clothing or some kind of flirtatious caption in the description. Those weren’t bad things, but they were new to me, and honestly, it kind of melted down the anxiety I built in my head about posting new photos on Instagram. Suddenly it didn’t feel like I had to be perfect and get the perfect shot anymore; a lot of it was shock factor.

Which the boys did exceptionally well.

My friends bulldozed their way through the beginning of 2024. It was entertaining, to say the least, but when I saw photos of their New Year’s party, I was taken back by how minimal they turned out. I came across four photos. A girl kissed Sam at midnight, Colby’s arm was around a girl’s waist, the two of them with probably nine other people in a cute group shot, and the last one was them outside the club the party was at—darkened city streets and palm trees that glistened with New Year’s sparkles and confetti were behind them—and I loved those photos. All of them.

But they weren’t the full picture. Definitely not the full picture.

I vividly remember turning the corner with friends into one of the secluded cut outs of lounge space. My best friend and I tried to find more friends and, well, we found them. Firstly, I would admit that the music was so loud I felt the bass in my bones, so maybe that had something to play. I also was in the double digits of how many combined drinks and shots I had, so there was that as well.

But when we turned the corner, I remember the same girl who kissed Sam at midnight was on his lap kissing him again, only this time she fully grinded on him and he didn’t even raise a hand to stop.

Which, okay, to be fair, whatever I don’t care. What caught me off guard was the complete lack of care from everyone else as well. I’m not sure if I have the confidence to practically have sex in a semi-public space with all my friends around me, but whatever.

What bothered me more, somehow, was the way Colby’s hands wouldn’t leave that girl’s skin—the same one he kissed at midnight—and I didn’t know why. Maybe I did, but it was more of a complete annoyance than anything. Maybe some disapproval as well.

He was with someone different just the night before—it was on his Instagram story—and he hooked up with the same girl multiple times during the trip we all took during Christmas. At least he was with her for an entire week rather than one day.

It wasn’t my business though, so naturally, I didn’t give a fuck nor did I say a word. It was so easy to behave like it didn’t affect me in any way or leave a bad taste in my mouth, because it didn’t.

”Hey!” I instantly broke into a smile when Tara met us halfway from the couches and drinks and friends and confetti and the making out— “Where have you guys been?”

”We had drinks and kind of got lost dancing with people,” I laughed. It was the truth and considering the flush in our cheeks and the more unkempt pieces of hair down our backs, Tara didn’t question it. Her hand linked with mine and she dragged us to the left side of the room; black leather couches lined in a semicircle.

And that was when the night truly began.

It also finished there when one of us passed out; I don’t remember who but I swear it wasn’t me.

My night finished when I emptied my guts on the street outside. I think Tara’s hands were in my hair and Colby’s voice was quiet and close to me. I’m pretty sure the sun was rising when we stepped foot in that Uber.

So that was as far as my friendship with Sam and Colby had gone. They were fantastic at their jobs, cared deeply about their work, and cared even more about the supernatural and what’s beyond, and they partied hard.

It was true. I scanned over the last few messages between us. I didn’t mean to leave Colby on read. Something sprouted in me from that moment. I couldn’t fully comprehend what it was. Maybe it was the abrasiveness of the photo, or maybe it was because I didn’t anticipate Colby ever crossing that imaginary boundary. This photo didn’t just cross it, he shot a hundred yards past and then some.

That look in his eyes—the subtle desperation in his text—something, somewhere, did it for me.

It was completely unsolicited as well. Well, unwarranted at least. Once I saw the photo it was solicited in every way imaginable. I didn’t understand where those intense feelings came from. It was intangible.

My stomach soured inside of me. It had me spiraling. Every look, every touch; Colby hardcore gave himself away. It wasn’t that I couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want it, no, not even that.

It was the fact that I loved it.

That caught me off guard. That nearly scared me.

It was no secret that a while ago, before we even interacted on social media, Colby drunkenly uncovered some too-personal details on the internet. And of course the internet ran wild with them. It kind of became part of his persona which he bravely embraced—which I admired because if I were in his situation, I would coil up and die—and it surpassed the internet’s perception of him as well.

But the underlying tone of his photo, of his text, completely betrayed that persona I was familiar with.

So I waited.

And waited.

I didn’t mean to leave him on read before the photo, but after he sent it, I left him on read with purpose in order to see what came of it. If he was willing to send that one desperate photo after an accidental ignoring, what would he do if it was deliberate?

It wasn’t very dominant of him to lace his photos and matching words with yearning like that.

I groaned as I rolled over in my chilling duvet. My arms stretched above me and my vision darkened. Damn right it was 6am, and I innocently woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep so I checked my phone. It still lodged in my stretched hand.

It buzzed again.

Unfortunately, he and I both knew that he was right.

I rolled out of bed and my legs tangled in the slick white sheets.

I haphazardly made my way into my en suite and flicked on the light. The eye bags were out to say hello this morning, which checked out. I was nearly 27; why the hell did I allow a grown man to get me out of bed to go outside before my body willed.

”Jesus Christ,” I gasped at his behavior. So, naturally, I snapped a photo of myself in the mirror.

‘Better?’ I typed and hit send with trembling hands. He didn’t respond.

My heart pounded.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have sent that.

If he spits out his own medicine then he shouldn’t have offered it to me.

With shaking hands, I got myself ready as requested.

It hadn’t always been like this even though it felt so.

Our relationship evolved and with every text, it dramatically developed into something more than a professional one. Like a friendship, at the very least, and now here I was finding myself lacing my shoes for this man before seven am to go to some… place.

Eight days ago we came back from a long trip of filming content for their channel.

Five days ago Sam asked us to go pick up shit for this party that was forgotten in transit or something. It was the first time we were alone together, and while the task was simple and mundane, it was fun.

Fun enough for me to say yes to him all the time apparently, because four days ago, Colby asked me to come to a photo shoot for their next merch launch.

Three days ago, Sam, Colby and I went out with Tara, Jake and Johnnie and took photos afterward.

Two days ago we partied hard with the gang again.

And yesterday, well, yesterday I went to Sam and Colby’s house for no reason.

We had breakfast, relaxed for once, and did nothing.

Nothing was so entirely great.

Now when I left my apartment that morning, he was already there waiting for me. We didn’t live close enough to walk, but maybe two exits at most from each other.

“Wow you look so happy to see the sun,” Colby remarked. My squinted eyes glared back at him. I forgot to change my hair from its bed head state in any way. A piece of it dangled in front of my eye bags. He only laughed back at me.

“I’m here. I didn’t say I would be happy about it.”

”Don’t worry, you will be soon.” I didn’t respond because I didn’t want to get too snappy. I knew I was joking, but the lack of caffeine and over abundance of morning light did not fare well in me.

”Here is this,” he said before he even gave me a thick enough pause to reply. I looked over and he pulled an energy drink from behind my chair. It was cold. “Palatable offering, I hope.”

”It is,” I laughed and snapped it open.

For an early morning, it was fairly a quick drive on the freeway to this mystery location.

”We’re flying to Australia soon.”

”Oh really?” I gasped and looked over at him. The sun brightened this side of his face. ”Damn.”

”Yeah, we’ve put it off for so long and it’s finally happening. We’re so excited.”

”I bet. Wait, when are you leaving?”

”Six days.”

”That is really soon.” His eyes widened with a sigh.

”Yeah.”

”What, unprepared?”

”As much as we should be prepared already considering how long we’ve wanted to go, yes. Very much so unprepared. We’ve been running around like crazy trying to get things in order at any time we can.”

”So this morning?” He shook his head. I hadn’t looked away from him for a second as we spoke. He kept his eyes on the road.

”How dare I take a tiny break for myself.”

”Naturally you invite me then?”

”I suppose.” By the quiet tone of his voice, I didn’t push. I didn’t prod or step across a line.

I don’t think I even stepped on it. I ran away from it.

”DId Tara mention that we’re going to New York and staying there until Tana and Brooke get there while on tour?”

”Oh shit, no she didn’t. Wait, she did go on their podcast recently.”

”Yeah. Two weeks ago she did. I went with her and we talked for so long. We literally canceled our next plans and decided that we would catch up again in New York when they got there. I think they have a good five days off or something to stay there a week.”

”Oh sweet, when are you leaving?”

”March second.”

”Oh shit, that’s the day we get back from Australia.”

”Oh really?”

There was silence.

“And when do you get back?”

”The plan is to be back by March 12th but we’ll see if that happens.” For the first time since he gave me the drink, he stole a glance from me.

”You’ll see?”

”Tara was talking about going to uh—God I forgot, a specific place, though, for spring break with some other girls too. I think we may be back to re-pack and then head there.”

”Oh okay, okay.” My stomach swarmed with butterflies. I couldn’t pinpoint why. I was overly excited for our trips; it had been a while since I went anywhere for a break and to spend time with myself and the girls, and myself and the girls only.

We parked.

It was a bit farther than I anticipated, but there were less people and mainly lone hikers who risked more of a challenge in the early morning. I didn’t mind. I was simply here for the ride and grateful that I could keep up with Colby.

”Sam and I came here a while ago because we saw it and were curious. It’s a really nice place for photos and to walk in silence.”

”Oh silence. I love that.”

”Yeah,” he laughed. “I know.”

So we walked in silence.

The hills rolled and seemed to touch the skies in some places. Even in the winter chill, the sun warmed my face and within ten minutes both of our hoodies came off. Dust emitted from the ground but stayed. It was dry as hell and not as windy as usual so we were covered in it.

“This way,” he said and we veered to the left up a steeper route of white rock. Thistles of cacti and various plants I was afraid to touch nipped at our ankles as we calculated our steps on the small jut outs lodged in the hill.

Then, near the top and to the right, Colby reached a eight to twelve foot—I wasn’t quite sure—plateau. It wasn’t a long drop to our ground, per say, but the sun’s light was cut from where I stood. I basked in the shade as Colby climbed up with his long ass nimble legs.

”Here,” he said and his hand reached to mine. I climbed the first few feet of rocks before taking his hand.

Maybe I should not have been as enthusiastic to hold his rough dirty hand if even for a few split moments.

Once on top, there was another few yards of elevation until we reached the peak that I supposed he and Sam found before. They weren’t wrong. This portion of the hill was fairly tall compared to the rest, and while we stood in the dusty rocks of the peak, the other side was a grassy downslope that fell straight towards the valley from which we came. Morning light streaked across the city in pinks and oranges while the tips of buildings and hills on the other side of the city reflected mature midday sun.

Maybe getting out of bed this morning wasn’t all that bad.

“Oh my god, you were right. This is a fantastic place.”

”See?” He replied happily. “And there’s really no one who comes out this far.”

”I know. Maybe we should come back for photos since you left me out the first time.”

”Well when we do come back for photos, you will have been here the same amount we have so it’s like we didn’t leave you out.”

”What are you talking about? You’re here now.”

”Well… It’s fine. We’ll still come back.”

More silence.

I sat down first. Colby sat next to me and leaned back on his hands.

“Right that way,” Colby started as he pointed quite to the right of us; east. “Sam and I filmed this one video. I don’t think we can see the plateau very well from here, but it was the one where this guy in a cloak threw a cross over us and into the valley.”

”Oh shit, wait,” I gasped. “I remember that.”

”Yeah,” he scoffed. “Sometimes I think about all the weird stuff that happens at night only for the morning to feel so peaceful.”

“It’s almost as if your mind plays tricks on you.” He gave me a look.

”Wow, I guess Sam and I and also the camera hallucinated that damn cross.”

”Oh my god,” I laughed. “No but, he threw that thing damn far.”

”I know! It was even crazier in person because it wasn’t light when we picked it up.” I looked back to the valley. The white rocks descended into purples and blues where a few highways entered and exited.

”Do you think he’s the reason you got all scratched up?”

”Oh god, I have no idea.”

”Or do you think whatever it is just stays here?” Colby shrugged but kept his gaze across the sea of hills. I could tell; he tried to identify the property they were on but couldn’t.

”I don’t know. If it does, it sure isn’t in charge of the morning, is it?”

”No.” My voice was quiet.

My heart pounded.

When would it get a rest?

I opened my mouth before I thought about it.

”Why didn’t you bring Sam?” My seriousness was probably enough to tell him that I meant bringing him in this moment instead. He shook his head before he spoke.

”I didn’t—It’s not that I didn’t bring him. I just wanted you to come.”

”Oh. I see.”

“You said yes,” he laughed.

”Maybe I just like doing nothing with you. All we do it work and run around like crazy all the time.”

”That’s true.”

Another pause.

”This weekend was really nice though,” I admitted. He looked at me. I didn’t look back.

”It was, I think.”

”Because yeah we probably got too fucked up on Friday and Saturday nights, but just relaxing and not doing anything with you guys is actually nice.”

”You say that as if you expected it to be awful.” I smiled and shot him a look.

“No I don’t. I just mean that it’s nice to see you—all of you—not stressed until you want to drink yourself to death.” Colby sighed.

”No, you’re right.”

”I know I’m right.”

”Yeah, and humble.”

“Shut up,” I laughed and shoved his arm slightly. It gave out and he caught himself.

When we straightened ourselves and leaned back like we were, his hand accidentally landed close to mine. It didn’t touch me, but I felt the warmth between us.

This silence was still. Brutally, peacefully, still.

My tongue clamped to the roof of my mouth. I heard my heartbeat in my ears. As I tried to find something within the horizon to take interest in, the corner of my eye caught the expression on his face. He too looked forward, eyebrows pressed serious, and lips parted.

I would think he was lost in thought and had been for a while now.

As I looked at him slowly, his finger ever so slightly lifted and came over mine. I don’t think it covered but half of my finger, and I wasn’t sure if he touched it all that much. But it was there and I waited for the weight of it.

”Let’s get up. You haven’t posted on Instagram in, what? Three months? Why should we wait to take pictures later?”

”Bitch,” I gasped and sat forward. He looked at me. His eyes were still thoughtful and dark. But his mouth lifted to a smile. “I look like shit.”

”No you don’t.”

I left it at that.

A handful of photos—for both of our feeds—later, and we coasted down the hill twice as fast as we came up. My ankles were almost too weak to handle it from the photo session. I tensed my entire body to shake the thoughts away. My hands were so slick by the time it was my turn to snap photos of him that I thought I would drop his phone. I held my breath the second his shirt came up and off his body. I only really stared at the screen.

There was something about that moment that seemed too close, too serious, for me to look at him not through a screen.

It wasn’t that I hadn’t seen him half dressed before; it was basically his everyday wear. For some reason though, out by ourselves alone in the valley made it seem ten times more intimate. I’ve been alone with him in his bedroom when he hardly wore clothes, I’ve fallen asleep next to him on flights, in beds, on sofas.

It wasn’t like this. My eyes couldn’t retreat from the areas the sun reflected on his skin.

When we got in the car, suddenly it was stuffy and hot, and we tossed our clothes to the backseat before Colby turned the A/C on high.

”Jesus Christ, it’s February!” He shouted. I laughed and held onto my drink. Of course it was flat and not cold anymore but it was something for my aching throat.

I forced myself to look forward even as his hand subconsciously met the back of my chair when he began to back from the parking space. Even with the over abundance of cameras on this damn car, he still never used them.

“Aw shit,” Colby laughed as he looked at his phone.

”What?”

”Sam asked where the fuck I was.”

”Oh my god—“

”And then just asked to grab food on the way back.”

”Let’s get food then.”

I spent the rest of the day with them.

When I walked into their spare bathroom downstairs, I paused as I turned on the lights.

My hair was a mess, my tan popped against the dark sports bra that caked with dust, and in the reflection were sun dazed eyes. Then I looked to the counter and the room spun.

Half of my make up and products I used to get ready sprawled across the granite counter. I forgot that on Saturday night I got ready here before we went out, and Tara sat in the bathtub eating her dinner and entertained me while I did so. My shampoo, conditioner, and body wash were in the shower. I looked back at myself in the mirror.

My towel hung behind me.

”Come on!”

“I’m hurrying!”

”Let’s go!”

”Fucking trying, bitch!”

”You’re walking!”

The door slammed.

”Impatient animals, Jesus fuck,” Tara sighed. She turned back to me. I backed away from the mirror.

“Wait we look hot let me—“ And Tara grabbed her phone and snapped mirrors selfies with the both of us before we exited the bathroom.

”Just put your shoes on in the car or else Sam will leave us here,” I told Tara. My shoes were also in my hand.

”Right, right,” she grumbled. “Coming.” I stood at the front door and waited for her. I scowled at the raging black clouds in the sky. There was no way we would make it into the studio before the storm began. “Surprisingly my ex-boyfriend would never treat me like this,” she grumbled as she hopped past me. I scoffed a laugh.

”Yeah because he knew he’d get his ass beat.”

”I mean you’re not wrong.”

We hopped in the back seats of Sam’s car, and that was how we started the last night we all had together before over a month of separate travels.

To be fair, we were running over 30 minutes behind to get the photoshoot we should have been ultra prepared for. We planned it nearly six days ago after Sam complained about not being a part of our morning photoshoot in the hills. Tara came along because, obviously.

Bickering was the only way for us to relieve the stress of not getting into the car as soon as we needed.

”If I find another one of these in the car, I’m fucking throwing it away,” Colby spat and chunked whatever tube of makeup into the bag Sam held.

”Excuse me, that was mine—“

”Was,” Colby cut me off with a little too much emphasis.

”I’m pretty sure they stopped making those—“

”God fucking thank you then. Now I don’t have to throw one away everytime I climb back here to get shit.”

”You throw them away?” I cried. Colby glared at me from where he leaned inside the trunk of his car.

“Yeah? They would end up crawling back over here anyway.” I rolled my eyes at the muted pitch of his voice.

We stood at the back of the car for all but ten seconds while we each grabbed different things for the photoshoot and the podcast we were about to film and within those ten seconds, the angry clouds decided it was a good time to rain down on us.

As Colby slammed the back shut, I followed Tara straight for the door to the back of the studio. She already was safe under the patio cover.

The tension in the air wasn’t funny or a joke anymore.

I repeated the expression I saw on Sam’s face in my head when I whirled around and followed Tara. He wasn’t messing around anymore. He didn’t look at me and only stared at Colby waiting for his next command.

Needless to say, it never came.

Colby didn’t say another word until we were on the set.

It had been a few minutes. We caught our breaths while our hair and makeup were freshened. Tara and I gossiped between ourselves to calm down and keep ourselves occupied.

And then it was time for photos.

This morning we woke up late. We went out last night and didn’t set alarms. With two podcasts and a photoshoot scheduled, the day started off high stress. We scrambled to get ourselves to the podcast. We surprisingly were only ten minutes late.

This time, however, we somehow were not as lucky.

Between getting food, driving across the city, and changing, we didn’t get enough time in between the first podcast and the photoshoot. Of course this used up the last of Colby’s patience. He was snappy and unapproachable because it was supposed to work, and now, other people had been waiting for us and the podcast was pushed back as well.

Sam and I were wholeheartedly fine with taking the brunt of it too.

But by the time I walked on set, my own frustration pooled in my stomach. Colby’s eyes still flared angry and spiteful even as I looked at them. He blinked a few times before he looked away.

We posed and were posed by the photographers for such a long time, I was tired of pretending to smile and, honestly, I was simply tired of being perceived in such a vulnerable way. Sure, the other three were more used to it, especially Sam and Colby, but damn. I was fatigued and dizzied with alternating emotions.

Tara and I posed alone together next which was alleviating.

My brain turned off.

Then it was Sam and Colby’s turn alone.

My brain turned on when Sam gestured me over.

I wanted to coil up and rot in my bed. I was tired, Colby stressed me out, Sam was snappy with me, and Tara just wanted to sleep. We were falling apart, but when I came back to them, they were somehow brighter. They talked to and cooperated with the photographer more, and the three of us got shots that I was actually excited about.

What numbed me and gave me a second wind was the feeling of Colby’s hands on my waist, him against my side, and our backs to each other. He grabbed my arm during a pose set up and I swore my skin melted to the bone. I felt it through the rest of the day.

Then, we changed and did it all over again.

An hour later, we were leaving the studio when Colby got the call.

The last podcast was canceled.

No one talked when we piled in the car. It was pure silence, and I looked in the rear view mirror slowly. I watched Colby. He looked down at his phone and texted for a little while until he started music. Then he looked up. His eyes locked on mine.

No one spoke. Neither of us looked away. He didn’t look happy, to say the least.

”What are we going to do?” Sam sighed. The only one brave enough to speak to Colby was him obviously; he was the only one Colby wouldn’t kick out of the car. Probably.

”I don’t know,” he sighed and looked away from me and adjusted how he sat. His head hit the head rest. “I’m fucking tired and done with today.”

”Let’s just go out.”

”Again?” I gasped. The burning in my throat from last night returned.

“It’s Saturday night and I know a group’s about to get dinner before hitting a couple clubs,” Tara said as her eyes still locked on her phone. I looked back at Colby. He was already looking at me. I looked back at Tara.

”I mean, we have to be at the airport at five in the morning.”

”We’ll sleep on the plane.”

”Being hungover on a plane doesn’t seem like a fun way to fly.”

”You’re flying regardless,” Colby intervened. I looked back at him. His eyes were thinner, darker. “Let’s just go.”

”Fine.”

And that’s how we ended up drunker than we ever had.

I was hungover before I finished my umpteenth shot, Tara was on the table, and Sam found the girl he had been talking to. Of course she was a part of our group now; the group Tara texted.

The haze in Colby’s eyes calmed me down. He spoke enthusiastically and smiled more than not. Finally, it felt like we wound down to our regular selves again.

“Come on!”

“I really can’t—“

”Please! It’s our last time here for a while, let’s just have fun!”

”Tara, I can’t even walk straight without running into things. What makes you think I can dance?”

”Everyone’s so close anyway, you don’t have to hold yourself up.” Her arms yanked me out of the sofa before another protest had the time to settle. I was followed.

I didn’t know by who, but I felt the presence behind me as we made our way across the dark club. Finally, Tara led me across the threshold of the dance floor. Then she spun around and didn’t let go of my hand.

Her eyes lifted behind me. An evil smile pulled at her mouth.

”What’s wrong—“

”Nothing,” she cut me off, and pulled me from looking behind me. “Come on.”

She didn’t have to tell me twice. I felt the music reverberating through me like a vessel already. If I was going to be in pain all day tomorrow, I might as well make the most of it tonight.

It didn’t take long, but I felt a hand on my arm, a pressure on my body, and I turned around wildly. A face I couldn’t recognize, and Tara yanked me away, closer to her.

I watched her mouth but I couldn’t hear her words. I nodded and smiled in agreement anyway, and danced with her.

And again, hands found my waist, but this time more pressure in places that I definitely didn’t ask for it to be, so I gasped a breath and whipped myself around, but the hands were off of me before I got the chance to see who it was.

I looked up to Colby who shoved someone—the pressure I supposed—behind him. He looked back to the man who grabbed me. Violently, he spoke and shoved again. I didn’t understand what he said but I agreed. Wholeheartedly.

”Colby,” I gasped as if he could hear me.

With the shaking of his head, he stepped into my personal space.

”How did you know I didn’t want to dance with someone?” He scoffed.

“I don’t care if you wanted to or not, clearly you didn’t ask for that.”

”I could have taken care of it.”

”And? That was gross. I was right there.”

Right, Colby followed us to the dance floor. That’s right. I felt his eyes on me the entire time.

”Why were you watching us?”

”Because you’re drunk as hell and both of you are half the size as the majority of people here.” Why did I like the hostility on his tongue? I almost tasted the alcohol that intoxicated him.

”Yeah, that’s all it is, isn’t it?”

”What else would it be?” There it was. That flirty flick up of his eyebrow. We were the only three paused in the sea of dancing bodies.

”Just—Come on,” Tara grumbled and gripped both of our elbows. “Can’t have any fun with you when Colby’s around, can I?”

”What the fuck does that mean?”

Tara didn’t respond.

She went back to friends, but Colby grabbed me and held me back.

Again, his grip was heaven itself there in that hell hole. I spun back to him. I didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered across my full face before settling on my eyes. Drunken mistakes.

”No, tell me,” he said. Lowly.

”Tell you what?” I scoffed. He rolled his eyes.

”What else would I defend you like that for?” My gaze fell from his eyes, his nose, lips, chest, the floor.

I shook my head.

”I’m drunk as hell.”

”Yeah same,” he sighed. He took a step back. His eyes didn’t leave me though.

”Why do you look at me like that?” He shook his head. Don’t ask the things you don’t want to know about. “Stop looking at—Talk to me,” I demanded.

”You’re so—“ He gritted his teeth and his voice caught in his throat when his hands found my face and held me still. My lips parted fairly widely as shock rose my eyebrows. His eyes looked at me. With intention.

My body caught ablaze, and I didn’t like it. Not this time. This kind of wildfire was destructive; non rebuildable.

”Colby—“

He just looked at me. Even closer. I almost felt the sweetness of his mouth on mine.

”I’m more of an all or nothing kind of girl, Colby, not—not a one and done like you,” I said. My calmest words laced with a poison that furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t do those smash and dashes like you do, so if that’s what you’re looking for, you can go back to those models you fuck every other day because that’s not the kind of body you’ll find here.”

Hurt spread across his face. His hands slowly fell from me, and for the first time, I wanted to take the words back.

“Really?” He gasped. It cut deeper; his hurt. I didn’t mean it.

Maybe I got it all wrong.

”That—Really? That’s what you have to say to me?”

”Colby,” I spat his name through teeth weakened by grit. “Don’t ruin our new friendship, I was liking it way too much.”

”I’m not ruining anything. You don’t know what I want.”

”Then you’re confusing. Too complicated for me.” I stepped away from him. He took a step towards me. “I don’t appreciate my best friends using me.”

”Good. I don’t either.”

”So what’s this?” I gesture to his hands. “Why do you touch me like that? And why does it look like you could kiss me at any moment?”

”Are you projecting or something? Because my wanting to kiss you doesn’t equate to using you.”

A laugh burst from me.

”So when you kissed all those other girls in front of me even after we texted the way we do and after you fucked them, you didn’t use them?” My head cocked to the side in defiance.

Fire blazed in his eyes.

”You’re ridiculous.”

”I am?” I shouted.

”You don’t know anything.”

”Right,” I scoffed. “Not like you’ve made advancements in helping me know something—Colby.”

He grabbed my face like he did and shoved himself back into my space. This time, I felt his front collide into mine. My hands grabbed his wrists.

I froze.

My lips parted the moment his grazed mine.

He caught me. His eyes lifted to mine with a smirk slowly pulled at his dark lips.

“So you talk your shit but you’d still kiss me back?”

”Fuck you,” I spat. He smiled evilly.

”You’d love to, wouldn’t you?” He molded his words over my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth for more.

“Mm, maybe,” I mumbled. His eyes blew wide when I bit down on his bottom lip. “But I would love it more if you didn’t fuck me over after.”

He shook his head quickly.

”I wouldn’t,” I think he gasped so quietly that only by the breath on my skin could I discern his words.

I retracted my teeth and replaced them with my lips.

That was when one of his hands traveled to my messy pulled back hair and he kissed me with such intensity that I’m sure I fell to the ground. A noise escaped my throat but I didn’t back down. I couldn’t when his hands were firm on my body like he knew it already.

So of course I kissed him back like he was mine.

He always was, wasn’t he? I licked into his mouth first, and I think it caught him off guard because a deep moan pressed against my tongue and his thumb jutted under my chin as if to hold me in place. The taste of our drinks mixed in our mouths, and I breathed him in like I needed the hit.

I think he moaned my name; all this time he took a step and then another step into me as if he aimlessly tried to find a stable surface to pin me but couldn’t. He was too drunk to remember that we were in the middle of a bustling club. I ran into someone. I didn’t care.

I took advantage of his leap of shock and my lips wrapped around his tongue. That was when his eyes opened and he slowly looked down at me in surprise when we ever so slowly retract from each other.

”Holy shit,” I thought I heard, and we must have both heard since we both looked over in the direction of our friends.

Sam stared back at us and Tara’s pouty smirk fired directly at me.

Colby took three big steps away from me. Looked at me.

”Colby,” I said but he left me and walked towards Sam.

Sam and Colby walked towards the back door of the club with a dictionary of words between them. Tara stood in front of me.

”It’s 2:30, we gotta go and get ready for our flight.”

”But—But Colby—“

”I know, but we gotta go. Sam was going to be sick.”

I took her hand as she took mine and her friend dropped us off at my house.

The taste of Colby’s lips was the only thing that kept the vomit in the back of my throat.

That sunrise was not kind.

I vomited while packing. I vomited while in the Uber. And again while waiting at the terminal.

At least we got through TSA without a vomit session.

I wanted those hands on me again. To numb the pain. I typically didn’t hurt this bad with a hangover.

I plopped in my seat and Tara already cuddled up into me with her neck pillow and blanket. I checked my phone.

New message from my best friend, but that was it.

I couldn't blame them—to be fair—it was still the night for them, and if Sam had to be sick while at the club, I knew he would be drunk until the late morning and hungover by sundown. Colby on the other hand was drunk, but I couldn’t tell if he was drunk enough to be hungover. I couldn’t read him at all tonight—last night. I understood his mouth perfectly well though, and unfortunately I wanted to communicate more.

Or fortunately? I couldn’t decide quite yet.

I fell asleep before we took off.

When I woke up, the sun blared into the cabin like a lightning rod. I moaned and squinted my eyes, and stretched in my sleep.

”Oh good, you’re up,” Tara said. I looked over at her. Her AirPods were in, a roller was in her hair, and she watched Netflix on her laptop as she filed her nails. “I was getting bored.”

”Jesus Christ, Tara. I’m going to be sick.”

”Ha! No you’re not. Take this.” She handed me a pill and what looked to be an antibacterial wipe. “I don’t give a fuck if you gotta stick that wipe up your nose; you won’t be vomiting on this plane. That’s so embarrassing.”

”Tara,” I moaned and sat up more. The nausea sickened me. I dry swallowed the pill. The alcohol from the wipe did, in fact, aid my hangover bile. ”What time is it?”

”Ten. We’ve been on the flight for like four hours.” I sighed and sat upright in my seat with my eyes clamped shut. My thoughts battled to ward off the nausea. “So, Sam and I walked in on you making out with Colby last night.”

”Oh my god, don’t remind me.”

“What the fuck was that about, huh?”

”God, I have no idea”

”And you didn’t even do anything after as well.” I shot her a glare.

“The fuck you mean ‘do anything?’ Obviously we weren’t going to fuck if that’s what you’re saying.” I rolled my head away from her and leaned it on my hand. It needed physical support too not just emotional.

“What are you talking about?” She laughed. “The tension has been making me sick. I thought you guys were finally going to get it over with.”

That annihilated my ability to ward off nausea.

”I’m going to throw up.”

”Fucking don’t, bitch,” she threatened me with her nail file. “We have to get our nails done in New York because I feel like a dirty girl when we’re going to nice clubs or whatever.”

”We can get them done.” The thought of a nail salon scent quenched the nausea.

”Anyway, about Colby—“

”I do not want to hear that name right now.”

Tara looked at me with concern. A frightening silent concern. The concern was only heavily serious when Tara was quiet.

”He didn’t look happy after he kissed you. What happened?” And how could I lie to that hushed worrisome voice.

”I told him that—oh god what did I say?” I tried to remember as I rubbed my eyes. Thank god Tara convinced me to take off—and also partially helped me—take off my makeup last night. “I said something like I’m not into hooking up like he is—Oh, I’m not a one and done kind of girl. I told him I wanted all of him or nothing.”

”Shit,” Tara gasped. “That’s kind of a lot, isn’t it?”

”I mean he tried to kiss me, Tara! Before we even talked about it.”

”Okay? What’s the problem with that?”

”I really enjoyed our friendship,” I sighed. “I don’t want it bursting into flames. Hanging out with them and working with them is amazing, and once it does inevitably fuck up after we actually date, then I can’t lose them.”

”I know it doesn’t work for everyone, but you could still be friends with them.” I sighed heavily. Tara’s eyes still examined me.

”There’s no way I could feel for Colby the way you do for Jake right now.”

”How come?” I opened my mouth to speak but no words found me. “You—You’re really serious about Colby, aren’t you?”

”Yes, but-but not to say you weren’t serious about—“

”No, I know,” Tara quickly said. “I get it. We’re a lot less unserious after our relationship. We just tried it and it was fun be we aren’t meant to be together romantically.”

”That’s the thing, Tara,” I grumbled and finally looked at her. “How do you not get attached? I’m already scarily attached to him. Fuck; I hate him for it too.” She lips curled in a smirk. “Stop fucking looking at me like that.”

”You are so down bad for that man it’s hilarious.”

”What would be hilarious is if you shut the fuck up.”

”Just admit that you love him so much that you would rather never see him again than not be romantic with him.”

”You’re literally putting words in—Do you not hear the words coming out of my mouth?” Tara rolled her eyes at me and I sighed. I settled in my chair.

“I know. I get it, I do.”

”I just don’t know what I’m going to do, Tara. I already fucked up a lot between us whether we pursue each other or not.”

”How come?”

“I basically called him a slut too.”

”You-You what?” She gasped. She choked back a laugh before it burst out of her. “That is the most diabolical thing—“

”I know it was so wrong of me, but I was drunk and terrified.”

”I know.”

”Tara!” I gasped. “He fucks everything that breathes!” The anger stung my gritted teeth and she parted her lips with surprise. “Do you not fucking see it?” I shout in a whisper. “He has a new fucking partner every damn week which-which whatever, that’s fine, but then he texts me the way he does and it’s like he wants to get in my pants too, just for the sake of it!”

”Whoa, how do you text? Give me your phone.”

”No way.”

”You sent him nudes?”

”What? No!” My blush flared hot. She rolled her eyes.

”I’ve known Colby for so long, it’s nothing I haven’t seen.”

”We haven’t fucking—Wait what the fuck does that mean?”

”Jesus Christ, no need to get wound up. I haven’t fucked him; remember Jake used to live with them. I stayed there weeks at a time.” I nodded and handed her my phone. We really didn’t have anything important to hide.

As she read the texts, my heart quickened. Her silence scared me.

”Oh my god,” she gasped. “The damn tension is even worse in text.”

”Give It back,” I spat and stole it from her. “What tension? We’re just friends.”

”Pf, yeah; friends that are able to make any conversation dirty talk. Now stop being a pussy and-and suck his dick or something.“

”Tara!” I cried. I shoved my phone back in my bag. “There’s no way—No! I-I can’t do that.”

”Oh right, you’re so in love with him you want to have sex with him and let him kiss you all gentle—“ Her silly baby voice physically ignited the fiery anger inside of me.

”Seriously,” I spat and held my hand up. “It’s not like that.”

”Oh,” she gasped. “Right, it’s Colby I forgot. He might not like gentle sex.”

”Nor relationships, so let’s stop speaking about something I can’t have.” Tara looked at me as seconds ticked by.

”You do really like him.” I nodded slowly. “If you liked him enough, then what could come of it would be worth risking ever speaking to him the same way again.”

I stared at her wide eyed.

Where did that wisdom come from?

”Potentially.”

“Then talk to him like an adult. And don’t do it when you’re drunk; you disrespect him like that again and he’ll cut you off without you even getting about to suck his—“

”If you’re so obsessed with his dick, why don’t you suck it yourself?” I spat.

”Damn, alright. He’s yours.”

”He’s not mine,” I spat. “If last night was anything to go by.”

”No no,” Tara exasperated. “You literally have it all wrong. He looked so-so enthralled by you, that you’re already his. That’s why it pissed him off so much.”

”He wouldn’t be pissed off if he talked to me like an adult and didn’t fuck other women.”

”Talk to him.”

”You’re acting like you know something.”

”Obviously neither of them talk to me and I supposed neither of them talk to Johnnie or Jake because those two boneheads are clueless as always.” I smiled. “Talk to him. Both of you attitudes are starting to piss me off. I just want to have fun with my best friends without stepping on eggshells.” She sipped her drink.

”I fucking need one of those.”

”It’s a mimosa.”

”I know.”

”You literally were about to throw up.” I rolled my eyes and kicked back in my seat.

”I need to be drunk again.”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am,” she sighed as she eyed down a flight attendant. “Oh, you’re fucking hot by the way.”

”Exuse me?” I choked on nothing.

”Your tattoos are great, and I can’t believe you sent him and underwear pic.” My face burned.

”That was on accident. I was delusional and got out of bed before I was awake at 6am.”

”Yeah, uh-hu. Keep telling yourself that.” And Tara caught the attendant as she passed us.

Between us and the hangovers, it was easy sailing until touchdown.

When we stepped into the airport, my phone rang off the hook with late messages. Of which, Colby was missed. My stomach did that familiar flip at the sight of his name in my messages.

I stared at my phone wide eyed and breathless, and it must have taken me far too long to get going, because Tara peered over my shoulder.

”Damn, see I told you. He set the stage for you, now speak like an adult.” I looked at her sunglasses covered face. I judged her for looking like a freak wearing Jake’s inappropriately too large hoodie with the hood over the roller in her hair as she wore sunglasses on her face that were big enough to cover a horse’s eyes.

Not like I could judge; I might have been wearing Sam’s hoodie and Colby’s sweatpants with my own sunglasses covering my hangover but that’s neither here nor there.

“Let’s go,” I told her and we bulldozed our way through the airport and towards whichever fancy hotel Tara picked the month prior.

And the hotel was very nice.

It was large enough for an entire group to crash in after a night out. The window showed the evening city as night fell, and I wanted nothing more than to curl up in the bed that could easily hold four people. I stared out the window for sometime as Tara got settled in. I could have been thinking about our plans for the morning, where we were going to get—most likely—brunch and where we would go thrifting after, but there I stood in the nicest hotel room in New York City I’ve ever been in thinking about Colby.

I thought to text him now.

I will.

Maybe.

My eyes fell heavy, and it took effort to pull myself from the window.

“Thinking about room service. Forgot to get food before.”

”I know, I was just dreaming about this bed,” I moaned as I collapsed into it.

I fell asleep before Tara got off call with room service.

I woke up when the food came.

”Get up or else I’m eating all this pizza.” I slugged over to sit hip to hip with her as the food sprawled ahead of us.

“I’m beat.”

”And once we eat, we can sleep so long and happy once our bellies are full.” She logged into her Netflix on the TV as I scrolled on my phone.

“Okay can we eat now, like damn.”

”Sorry,” I laughed as I read the last word he sent, and my phone was tossed to the bedding.

“How much will you text him? This is supposed to be our chilled out work week; emphasis on boyless work week.”

”Yeah I know, I was going to call him after we eat so we can talk about whatever the fuck happened last night.”

”Okay,” she said as she took a bite.

“Then we will be boyless.”

”Good.”

And she was right. My eyes rolled back even more so as the pizza settled in our systems. She got ready for bed as I slid out onto the balcony to talk to Colby. The chilly air was certainly more than enough to prevent me from falling asleep.

”Hi.”

”Hi,” he said back. “How are you feeling?”

”I’m good, better,” I sighed. “It was kind of the worst flight of my life though.”

”That’s what I was worried about. Good thing you made it through.”

”Yeah, hardly though. Tara threatened me and stuffed alcohol wipes in my nose every time I moved.”

”Oh my god,” he laughed. “I felt really bad last night. You were so sick and then Sam was sick—god, he still is—and I was just like, ‘shit, maybe this was a bad idea’ especially after—everything.”

”Yeah, I know. But-But it’s fine; it was fine. I had a good night. Just won’t do it before a five am flight ever again.”

Silence.

”I wanted to talk about last night though, like what happened between us.”

”I know,” I sighed and released the energy. “First I wanted to say sorry for what I said to you; I didn’t mean it and it was really disrespectful. I was so drunk and should have closed my mouth especially since that’s your business anyway. I feel really bad and didn’t mean it.”

”I-I know,” he said not too convincingly. “It—I mean, I get where you’re coming from and alcohol amplified everything.” My eyebrow twinged with question.

”What do you mean ‘where I’m coming from?’”

”I mean—“ He took his time and I bit through the first layer of skin on my lip. “I-I guess it’s no secret I’m not with anyone and don’t—didn’t have any plan to be. I—oh my god—I was going to say I wanted to just have fun, but I’m such a mess it isn’t fun anymore.”

”Why are you such a mess?” My voice was low as if it knew the answer.

”I guess I’m not wanting to be alone but I’m also just not-not wanting to commit or anything.”

”Oh.” I didn’t mean to be so short, and he took a breath to say something quick but I interjected. “Why did you kiss me then? You heard what I said and I did—and still do—mean it. So why did you kiss me like-like you meant it or something?”

”I’m just as confused as you are about it.” I didn’t appreciate the frustration in his tone.

”Oh yeah? What’s so confusing about it, then? I’m not confused.”

“What?” He gasped. I could tell I picked and picked at the seams until he couldn’t keep it back anymore. “You told me I was confusing to you last night. I’m confused as well.”

”I’m not confused about the situation but I’m confused about the damn choices you’re making.”

”Oh yeah? And what choices are those?”

”How every time you look at me I’m trying to decipher whether you want to kiss me but then you don’t and go kiss another girl like usual. I’m not into this whole—this whole yearning thing. I don’t do situationships or adjacent dysfunction, okay? So if you want to kiss me like you did last night, then I’m the only one you’re kissing and that’s what I’m not confused about.”

”You think I don’t want to kiss you like that?” He gasped. My throat clamped together. “If last night was anything to go by, you’d know that I’ve only ever wanted to kiss you like that. But it’s so much more real.”

”How is it so real?” I scoffed. The bitterness flowed from me, and I didn’t hold it back. How could I? There was so much unknowingly built in my chest and it needed to be relieved. “If it were real, you would kiss me. You wouldn’t fuck any other thing that breathes; you would come to me.”

”Jesus fucking—I don’t fuck anyone! Why do you keep saying that?”

Speechless choked me.

”You-You what?”

”I’ve slept with two people all through last year and no one this year, alright? Just because I might have fun or take photos with people doesn’t mean shit. I’ve only slept with—“

”You don’t have to tell me. I’m-I’m not—I trust you.” I didn’t like the way my voice shook, but I sat still in disbelief. Those nasty things I told him—

“Please,” he sighed. “I’m not—I don’t like to fuck around like that. I mean yeah maybe I do, but not like that. Not the amount you think I have. Do you really think so poorly of me?”

”I don’t-I don’t think poorly of anyone who does that, Colby. Especially not you. The thing that ticked me off was how you treated me. I could only think of those girls; did they know that you talked to me like that? Did they like to hook up meaninglessly like that? I didn’t want to be responsible for any messy situation that came of it.”

”And you wouldn’t have,” he said all too sweetly. “It’s my responsibility and I wouldn’t throw you under the bus like that. I mean; if there even were a bus. Every time I would ‘take someone home’ they would just leave in their own Uber and I’d go back with Sam. Or if I went to their house, honestly I would just crash at Jake and Johnnie’s for the night so that Sam could have the house for the night.” I never thought about those things. Unfairly too; I always believed the worst.

I took a lengthy pause. I was still upset. Unsatisfied. So I yanked harder.

”Then why do you loop me into all of this? Why play with me and kiss me just to go back to how we were?”

”Who said I would ever do it?”

”I don’t know!” I burst out. “Maybe it’s because I saw with my own eyes the amount of girls you were with and didn’t know the details. It’s like you wanted me but kept me on edge for fun.”

”That’s not-That’s definitely not what happened or what I was thinking at all.”

”Then what is, Colby? What the fuck are you thinking about me then, because I’m getting fed up and—“

”I’m thinking that if I just got my shit together and-and got over things I was scared of, I could have you and talk to you about how I feel about you.”

”Which is how?”

”God fucking damnit, you’re really making me spell it out, hm?” I shrugged.

”Obviously. I’m not here to fuck around anymore. I like having fun with my friends and I do not like being used and thrown away. I have more self respect than to be fucked over again and again.”

”I wouldn’t do that.”

”And you’ve given me no reason that you wouldn’t or proof that you would do any better.” The phone etched into my palms from the amount of force I used to hold it.

”God fucking—“ He paused and I heard a breath. “You’re so fucking difficult.”

”I’m difficult? You’re putting my through the ringer because you can’t communicate.”

”I can’t communicate? When did you ever tell me that you didn’t like it when I was with other girls?”

”I don’t know maybe because it’s not my fucking place? Jesus Christ, you think I have the audacity to nose my way into your business?”

”Well you’ve fucking nosed your way into every other area of my life.” I dragged in a deep breath.

I saw red. I finally understood what it felt like when people said that.

”Oh yeah? And whose fault is that exactly?”

”It sure as hell isn’t mine.”

”I swear to god! Ugh! You’re so fucking annoying!”

”I’m annoying?” His voice finally raised. “You’re the one who flirts with me and I get the message that you want something but then you tell me ‘oh, no my expectations are so much higher than what you could reach’ and then get mad when I can’t reach them?”

“You haven’t fucking tried!” I finally yelled. “And you’re projecting! I have never given you my expectations for a relationship and yet you still think you can’t reach them, what am I just some selfish bitch to you or something? You haven’t asked or talked to me about anything serious at all! The only thing you know about my personal needs in a relationship is that I’d like for it to be exclusive and serious. I didn’t realize that was just so fucking hard for anyone to give me.”

”Becase you’re looking in the fucking wrong direction!”

I paused for a moment. I licked my dry lips.

”Oh so then you think the problem is you? Because I know having standards—and low ones, might I add—isn’t typically an issue for people.”

”You are—oh my fucking god.” I heard the way his voice grew quieter as he pulled the phone from his ear in frustration. “Maybe—listen to me—Maybe I think you’re looking in the wrong direction because you need someone who can fit your expectations. Not because you’re too much but because I care about you enough to make sure you’re taken care of and not at risk for it blowing up in your face since clearly that’s all I’m good at.”

”Colby,” I gasped.

This was never about my behavior. This wasn’t even about our lack of communication, then.

“When did I ever say I didn’t want you.”

”What?” He spat. “I never said—“

”No, but clearly you think you’re not good enough for me. You don’t know what I want outside of a stable relationship, and that I know you can give me if you try.”

”How do you know that?” His spite was thicker than the words he said.

”I mean-I mean I don’t but you’re smart and clearly you fucking care enough so I supposed you’d figure it out.”

”But that puts you at risk.”

”Fuck!” I yelled. “For as often as you put your physical body at risk with Sam you certainly are against it emotionally. Maybe I know that it’s a risk liking you as much as I do, but maybe it’s one I’m willing to take.”

”But you want—“

”Fucking hell, Colby. I just wanted you!” God it felt so good to say. “I just wanted you without having to worry that one day I wouldn’t be able to see you again because-because if it does blow up, I’m not sure I’ll be able to be friends with you after. That’s how much I care about you and need you.”

He was silent and my own anxiety took the wheel again.

”I-I really liked our friendship and don’t take that lightly; I hope you feel the same way about it—“

”I really do,” he reassured me.

”Then that’s why I didn’t want to be the one to start something more with you. I didn’t want it to blow up—“

”Oh so you wanted me to start it so that whenever it does inevitably blow up, you can blame me?”

”That’s not what I fucking said now, is it Colby? I said—“

”No.” It was so incredibly final that it took center in my stomach like a knife. “I’m not—We’re not doing this.”

”So then that’s it?”

”How much more do you want to lose?” It hit me. He wouldn't be able to go back after that kiss.

”If you think we’ve already lost something, then how bad could it be?”

”I can’t fucking do this right now.”

”Oh come on,” I laughed. “That’s so—That’s such a tap out.”

”No, I’m serious. You’re literally asking me to solidify a relationship with you so that when we break up, it can be my fault.”

”That is not what I’m asking you to do. Like, at all.”

”Yeah? Then what is?”

”I’m asking you to stop being so fucking scared of everything.”

Silence.

”I want you to stop trying to control everything around you all the time. You can’t control how I feel. Stop blaming yourself for things you haven’t even done! I’d never blame you if things didn’t work out between us. But I am blaming you if you keep yourself from me just because you’re scared.”

“I’ve never been so scared of anyone like I’m scared of you.”

”Colby—“

”The way you make me feel is too much. I can’t-I can’t fuck us up. I’d rather you at a safe distance for forever than nowhere near me at all.”

”And if it all blows up, what are we going to do?”

”I can't think about that—“

”No, tell me.”

”I swear,” he laughed.

”Colby, tell me now.”

”I—We’re going to stop speaking. I know that much. I won’t be okay for a long time—“

”What if it all blows up but we just stay together anyway?” He was quiet again as if it was the most confusing thing in the world.

”What-What are you talking about?”

”Things go wrong in relationships all the time. That's why only the people who choose to stay together and work on themselves for the other person last more than 20 years. I don’t understand why a disagreement or argument can derail an entire companionship if they actually care deeply about each other.”

The way he said my name made me forget all the other times my name had been said.

”It’s that much?”

”What?” I asked.

”You actually want me that much?”

”I could.” It was the truth. I did want him—badly—and with time, maybe he could be the only one I would want.

”I think I could let myself want you that much too.”

”Colby, stop saying you’ll ‘let’ yourself. Not everything has to be controlled; literally chill out and let things happen.”

”Okay, okay,” he sighed. I, too, was tired of arguing, and with that sweet tone on his tongue, I wished to sleep cuddled into his side. What a way to begin a month apart from each other. “I trust you.”

”Good. I trust you too.”

It felt like the end of the conversation. I didn’t know where it left us, but we were farther than where we started.

I also trusted the fact that we had much time to think about things before we saw each other again.

”By the way,” he said with that goofy tone that I knew meant something outrageous was brewing in that head. “‘Smash and dash was so fucking funny. If you didn’t literally break my heart in that sentence, I would have cried laughing.”

”Oh my god, shut the fuck up. I have no idea where that came from—“

”It was so good.”

The night was brutal. It took me a second to register the fact that I shivered like my life depended on it.

“Colby,” I mumbled. “I care about you a lot, and maybe that’s why I’m so-so protective, or something, of what—or of how I feel. I didn’t want to stress you into something you didn’t want, and I didn’t—I don’t know—I don’t want to see you scared or in pain.”

“I know, I know. I care about you as well which is why I tried to get rid of my confusion and frustration in some way because I didn’t want to hurt you or not be enough for you. It—All of this is a lot, and I’m not ready for it.”

”Maybe we won’t be,” I sighed. My breath piled in front of me. “We can wait.”

”Yeah,” he agreed.

”I’m so sorry but I’m literally—I’m outside because Tara’s in there and it’s so fucking cold so I was going—”

”Oh my god, yeah go inside.”

”Okay.” I stood up. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

”Okay, also, thanks for talking. You can be—god—you’re so fucking pushy and you never back down.”

“And you’re so damn combative it’s hard to not fight with you.”

”No one usually fights me, they leave or, I don’t fucking know, listen to what I say.”

”Ha!” I burst out laughing. “That’s so funny. I only listen to myself. I like you a lot, okay? So I’m going to fight back if you sound like an idiot.”

”And you sound like a spoiled bitch who always gets her way.”

”No,” I dragged out. “I just do this thing called thorough communication, and I never sacrifice the things I value just because some boy wants to fuck me.”

”Whoa,” Colby gasped. “I never expected you to sacrifice anything.” I laughed as my face heated up.

”Oh okay maybe so, but you want to fuck me then?”

“We are not talking about that right now.”

“Oh come on, you could have just said no.”

”And now you sound like the idiot.”

”Whatever, I’m going inside so I don’t have to freeze my ass off anymore.”

”You do that. I’m getting food then sleeping another ten hours.”

”Okay good,” I smiled. “Bye.”

”Bye.”

Even when I curled up in my bed happy and content and warm as I could be, I still shook to my core.

And it wasn’t from the winter air.

I woke up to the sound of an alarm, and Tara sitting up to turn it off.

”Why?” I complained. “Why so early?”

”It’s literally nine am. Let’s get up and get ready.”

”Fine,” I grumbled. I stretched so hard that I nearly missed what she said.

”I was asleep by the time you came in last night, what did you and Colby talk about for so long?”

”Honestly? We just argued the entire time but we’re fine now.”

”What?” She laughed. “What did you fight about?”

”Colby’s personal bullshit. Also, we may or may not date; we aren’t sure.”

”That is literally the most you and Colby thing I’ve ever heard,” Tara laughed as she got up. ”You guys are so exclusively not exclusive.”

”And you are so already breaking your rule for having a boyless trip.” She smiled at me as she pulled her glasses on.

”You’re right. Now get ready; we have bagels to eat and thrift stores to infiltrate.”

The day ended as fast as it came, and when we woke up the next morning, we decided to stay in and have a self care day instead of walking because our legs cramped.

I don’t remember another time my mind emptied of stress and worries about work, scheduling, and recording. Maybe we filmed a few videos, and maybe we vlogged, and maybe we met up with friends for a video, but it was a week of my life that my job melted into a privileged everyday life rather than a literal job.

After Tana and Brooke showed up, it was time for a little less self care to say the least.

He didn't respond.

“You’re breaking the law.” I looked up to Tara who sat on the edge of the bed talking to Brooke. I leaned against the head board and dropped my phone to the sheets.

”What are you talking about?”

“See, I didn’t know if you were or not but you just gave yourself away.”

”What law do we have this week?” Brooke asked.

”No speaking about or texting or calling males this week.” Brooke’s eyes rounded and snapped to mine.

”Who were you texting?”

”N—“

”Colby,” Tara sighed.

”Okay, that’s great. Thank you so much for letting that cat out of the bag.” Then Brooke’s eyes widened.

”Am I not supposed to know?”

”No,” I sighed and scooted closer to them. I stole a gummy worm from the bag in between them. “It’s a situationship I fear.”

”Oh I see,” Brooke laughed as a smirk pulled on her rosy lips.

“And it’s becoming a situation for all of us because you keep texting him.”

”You should be glad we aren’t at each other’s throats anymore.”

”I don’t know if you two being at each other’s throats is as bad as being down them anymore—“

”Oh my god, Tara, no. That’s-That’s too far.”

”Yeah, mhm,” she sighed with raised eyebrows. Tana came from the bathroom. “It’s almost like you were the one who went too far with him first.”

”Who’s him?”

”Colby,” Brooke replied to Tana faster than anyone could think.

”Oh,” Tana said as she looked at me up and down. “Honestly that checks out. Is this new?”

”As of three days ago,” I sighed. My head met my hand as if I massaged a headache.

”It’s actually been a nine month long languished yearning slow burn from both of them but apparently Colby has trust issues and she’s just too cut throat for him.”

”Tara,” I spat. “You are just full of it today aren’t you?”

”Yes, now I understand how everyone else felt when Jake and I first started dating and I’m getting flashbacks so I’m snappy.”

”Clearly.”

”You both are breaking your own law,” Brooke intervened.

”That’s true,” I said to Tara with eyebrows raised.

”What law?”

”No speaking about men on this trip,” Brooke told Tana to which Tana laughed, of course.

”I am a felon.”

✧˖*°࿐

Taglist (Comment to be added):

@a-random-google-user

#colby brock #sam and colby #sam golbach #18+ only #minors dni #colby brock smut #colby brock x reader #rosie writings

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mqsi · 1 year

Note

a smut wear the reader wants put a face mask on gavi and as she’s straddling him while doing it he gets horny?

I combined these two🫶🏻

warning: smut

——————————————————————————

You finally convinced you boyfriend, Pablo to do a face mask with you. You saw videos like that on tiktok and wanted to film one of your own. Gavi was sprawled out on the bed wearing a pair of grey shorts and a Barça shirt when you propped up the phone on the nighstand.

“Do you really have to film this tho?” he asked as you threw a bunch of colorful face masks on the bed for him to choose.

“Yes, I do. I want to post it on tiktok later, I already told you, now choose”

Gavi scanned over the packages and went for a bright red one, handing it over to you.

“Alright” you said while opening it carefully. You pressed the record button on your phone, reaching over to your boyfriend. What Gavi didn’t expect tho was for you to straddle his lap suddenly. You didn’t seem to notice the way he shifted a bit as you were stuggling to place the mask correctly.

“Omg Pablo, can you keep still?” Your hips were unintentionally moving against his crotch everytime you would prop upwards to position the mask. Gavi’s face got hot, he could feel a boner forming in his shorts.

“It would be a lot easier if you weren’t grinding on my dick”

You stopped your attempts and looked at him, just now noticing the bulge in his shorts. His hands landed on your hips, pressing you against his clothed dick.

“Pablo” you breathed out and he took the mask from your hands, discarding it on the nightstand. One of his hands travelled up to your neck, pulling you in a kiss. Gavi bucked his hips up making you moan in his mouth, your hands sneaking under his shirt, pulling it off of him.

You continued dry humping each other when his finger hooked under your waistband. Pulling the clothing down, he was met with your slick.

“Mm love, it seems I’m not the only one excited here” he murmured into you neck, leaving wet kisses.

One finger slowly entered you, pumping in and out.

“More”

Gavi chukled, adding another. You were so lost in pleasure that you forgot your phone was filming the whole time.

“Pablo… the phone” you mumbled while his fingers were still exploring you. He glanced at the camera, meeting eyes with your tangled bodies and smiled to himself.

“Let it be”

Soon, you were greedily pulling his cock out. You gave it a few pumps, teasingly rubbing it over your clit. Gavi grunted, grabbing your ass harshly.

“Let me feel you already”

“As you wish” you replied, sinking down on him, both of you moaning at the sensation. You started bouncing up and down on him and Gavi lifted your shirt up, revealing your hardened nipples. His lips met with them making you throw your head back, pure pleasure running through your body.

Gavi kept moaning against your breasts as you pulled him in by the hair, wanting more. He started thrusting up into you, one hand sneaking up to your clit, increasing the pleasure.

“Fuck Pablo, you feel so good”

“Tell that to the camera babe” he replied, grabbing your chin, making you look at the screen.

“You look so hot, taking my cock like this. What If I show this to someone, show them what a slut you can be” he said, reaching for the phone now capturing the spot where your bodies were combined.

You clenched around him, feeling close and Gavi’s words were pushing you even closer.

“You wanna cum for the camera?”

“Mm, yes”

He placed the phone back down, his thrust increasing in speed. One hand was still working on your clit until he felt you crumble down. You moaned loudly against his ear, your juices coating his cock.

“You’re such a good girl for me” he said, but it came out broken as he was close as well. Pulling out of you, he gave his cock a few tugs before ropes of cum met your abdomen.

“Fuck” Gavi breathed out, falling back against the headboard “We should do these hair masks more often”

You looked up at him from his chest, laughing

——————————————————————————

a/n: I actually wasn’t planning to post anything, I just started this as a draft, the words kept flowing so here. I guess I had some inspo ;)

#footballer imagine #gavi #pablo gavi imagine #gavi drabble #gavi blurb #gavi x you #pablo gavi #pablo gavi x reader #gavi x reader #gavi x yn #gavi fanfic #gavi imagine #pablo gavira #gavi fluff #x reader #gavi smut

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angelstate · 1 year

Text

Why do you hide?

Peter parker x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Happy Ending! :)

Warnings: explicit trauma, low self-esteem, panic attack.

summary: being introverted usually made you end up alone in most things, people nowadays didn't put effort into relationships to actually stick around and get to know who you are. Everyone except Peter parker.

words: 2.9k!

this is my first ever post here so i'm sorry if is not really good. i hope you enjoy it!

it was normal by now, people ignoring your existence in the hallways, bumping into you and never stopping to say sorry. Still, it couldn't be described as bullying, nobody directly picked on you, called you names or made awful comments about how you looked. they just made no effort in pretending they weren't annoyed by your existence in the busy hallways.

even though you were an introverted, not even once in your life you acted as hostile as all the other kids were. what kind of people had been raising them that saying sorry was a punishment and not a common manner? It was ridiculous at some points.

For example, why wouldn't Jessica Williams say sorry when she accidentally hit you with her backpack the last Monday? you could never forgive yourself if you were the one to hit somebody on accident and didn't acknowledge the incident and apologies.

for children it's ok if they are embarrassed to say sorry or admit their mistakes since they are still learning manners but for a 16 year old girl to not be able to say sorry was worrying.

of course not all people in highschool were this dense and unfriendly but the once that were actually nice already had a lot of friends and it felt disrespectful to just go in the friend circle and demand to be accepted and befriended. it even felt selfish to want friends at all, even fake ones.

you parents always reminded you that most people present themselves with a fake persona so you should never trust them until they really star behaving in a realistic way and if people around you didn't felt inclined to acknowledge your existence that screamed a lot of who you are as a person.

and thanks to your situation at school it felt real your parents words. nobody was interested in the slightest about who you are so there was no point in trying to be friends with anybody.

then, Peter Parker came around and all the progress you had done into accepting that nobody wanted you around went to waste in a matter or days.

finally, after manifesting to the universe for someone to enter in your life and be able to understand your pain and why you were the way you are, peter showed up. with his super intelligence, dorky star wars t-shirts, pretty face, and awkward but charming personalty to crumble everything you knew about people because he was so nice.

actually, not just nice. he was warm like a ray of sunshine in spring, so calming and cozy that you feel like melting everytime he talks, every word he says just feels like one good secret that only the both of us knows or a promise that will last for eternity, there is no in between when it comes to peter parker.

everything about him was perfect but....you weren't.

you didn't have super intelligence, didn't like you apparrence even though you always made the effort to look good, and definitely weren't charming like him.

you are soft-spoken, introverted, shy and more simple in the way you expressed yourself.

you have to many layers, a thousand walls that try to protect the real you from getting hurt again by fake people who just wanted the benefits of being your friend, and it's ok. you need that safety but at the same time you only end up further isolating yourself and losing opportunities to grow because you prefer the comfort of being alone over the possibility of being a better version of yourself in a community.

_____________________

it had become a routine, stand in front of your locker and looking for what you needed for the next class and peter parker appearing next to you, ready to try and engage in some sort of conversation that you were always unprepared for.

"you know the movie Titanic?" he asked.

" yeah, i like that movie"

"i was reading the other day that almost all the love story is made up" he tilted his head to get a better look at your face.

you frowned.

"oh, that's...sad. i always thought it was a real love story of one of the survivors of the Titanic" you sighed.

"me too! whoever wrote that story is a genius." he laughed a little and took the books you pulled out of your locker from your hands

you closed the locker softly and turned your body to face peter completely, taking your books from him and smiling.

"it's a pretty good love story but i don't think is my favorite" you admitted.

Titanic is a good movie and the love story is great but not the type you prefer. 'Me Before You' that is the type of love story that absolutely captures your heart. it didn't have the happy ending you prayed for the entire movie and absolutely crushed your heart that Sam didn't changed his mind but it also added a cruel human aspect that made your heart feel warm.

"Titanic is great!" Peter argued

"i agree but there are better movies out there" you argued back

"like which one?" He questioned

"Me before You is great" you responded

"i haven't watched it" peter frowned and crossed his arms.

"you should, it's amazing." you smiled once again and began walking towards your next class, peter followed you immediately since it was one of the classes you shared. Algebra.

"we could watch it together, i mean if you want to watch it with me, you don't have to i just wanted to know if you'd like to watch it with me" he stuttered and panicked slightly.

"i would love to, we could watch it tomorrow"

"yeah, that would be great" peter answered quickly.

you already knew where peter lived, this was going to be good, right?

_____________________

yeah....it was too god to be true.

those were the words that kept repeating in your mind and were the same words your mom said when she reacted to the news of you finally beginning to be friends with someone that was actually a good person.

"it's too good to be true, kid" your mother spoke without even looking at you, too busy preparing herself something to eat. the smell of alcohol still lingering in her skin and hair. you doubt a shower wold be able to get rid of it, it was her signature smell after all, even if she didn't want to admit it.

"peter is my friend, mom." you explained with desperation in your voice, wanting your mother feel happy for you once in her life. it was so hard to prove her that your social life wasn't all tragic but also good and promising thanks to peter.

"you sure? I don't want to come to me crying if he turns out to be like Sarah"

...

you froze in your spot, your mom was aware of how much you have avoided the topic of Sarah. How she created a new world of pain just for you to suffer when she pretend to be your friend because how much of a people pleaser you are. that's why she didn't felt the need to question your motives when you beg to go to a different high school.

nobody in your family knew the things Sarah manipulated you into doing, of course your mom was aware Sarah was a trouble maker, that was what she was so known for, what she didn't know is the trouble she forced on you.

smoking was bad, drinking too but that didn't compare to all the 'rituals' and 'tests' she made you do to prove loyalty to her. To prove that if she ever got caught doing something bad you would have her back and lie her wait out of the situation.

it would be an understatement to say that you were naive, the second your mother knew about the things sarah did to you she didn't hesitate to call you all names existing for stupid and that memory never went away.

finally after almost 2 minutes of silence you spoke again, voice trembling and out of breath.

"he isn't like Sarah, he is like me"

"that's worse."

that's worse? i am worse?

"how is that worse? I'm a good kid"

you mom laughed hard, and for the first time looked at you. it was evident in her eyes how she wasn't taking you seriously in the slightest, it was so clear she didn't gave a fuck about this that it was painful to watch her enjoy your pain so much. she was so joyed about mocking you and the one optimistic thought you had in months that she couldn't contain her excitement in shutting it down immediately

"a good kid? if anything your a pain in my ass. If that kid is as stupid as you are then god helps his family because i certainly need gods help when dealing with your dumbass"

how cruel of her to speak like that about you, the kid how always kept quiet, that did everything she was asked for even if it wasn't convenient for you to do so. the one that made sure she passed out in her bed instead of the floor every time she drank too much.

she was mean and bitter about your existence when she should be joyed about your upbringing. the worst mother.

"you don't have to be so mean" you whimpered, the knot that began to form in your throat made it hard to breath and the tears that were leaving your eyes so softly began to feel overwhelming, just like your sweater and pants. It felt like you were overflowing with so much emotions of distress that your body was trying to escape from itself.

without waiting for her answer you went to your room and locked the door, everything felt so suffocating. Your clothes all of a sudden felt tight and uncomfortable, but your hands began shaking too much to be able to take any piece of clothing off and the open window didn't seem to let enter any air inside the room.

This was a nightmare in real life.

The panic attack was ripping you apart and all you could do was to sit in the hard wood floor and sob uncontrollably and feel the way your heart seem to be going even faster every passing second.

but someone saw you and got worried about you.

_____________________

a few days later

how could you face him? how even dare you face him after everything that happened with your mom? Obviously peter didn't know what happened but the incident was in your mind and it had infested every corner of it. it was impossible to ignore the fresh memory or get out of the state of shame you were on.

After laying awake all this nights you came to the 'realization' that whatever you had going on with Peter wouldn't work.

He isn't like you and you made a mistake saying he was to your mom. He is so much more, so much better that saying that you were like him felt like one of the worsts sins you ever committed.

Once again, how dare you come close to a good person just because you were lonely? you didn't want to go close ever again or face him in any kind of way, not even with pictures.

so you did what any coward would do, you began hiding.

at first it was easy, just keep every book you need in your backpack so you never need to go to your locker. But then your back started to hurt, a lot.

So you created another plan, hide in the bathroom and wait till its almost time for your classes run to your locker and arrive late to class, at least the ones you didn't have with Peter.

In those you had to get more creative, you started to use a big scarf that covered almost half of your face and using big hoodies to hide the rest of your face, since it was winter the outfit was according and almost all the other girls were doing the same things.

it didn't hide you completely but that was the best you could do to at least hide a little bit. it felt pathetic most of the time but the shame kept you from stopping.

peter wasn't an idiot though. he noticed, first when you didn't showed up at his house to watch the movie and later on that night when he watched you have a panic attack in your room when we went to check up on you as Spiderman.

he knew something must have happened and was planning on speaking with you about it the next day but you didn't went to school for days and when you finally appeared you didn't give any opportunity for peter to talk to you

it was like you had turned into a ghost, peter rarely saw you in the hallways and you always seem to arrive to your shared classes with everybody else to hide your silhouette from him.

but one day you didn't hide good enough...

_____________________

you were in the library almost nobody came here in lunch so it was the perfect hiding place, you were reading one of the harry potter books that the librarian had in her desk and kindly let you borrow.

being a fan of the books you directly began to read in one after sitting in one of the tables that were hide by bookshelf's it was so peaceful, too peaceful to be exact and you didn't realize until it was too late.

until peter parker was already standing in front of you, at the other side of the table looking at you with mixed emotions and a blank expression.

"here have you been?" he questioned you the moment you looked at him. his tone was harsh but also full of pain

"here." you answered softly, it was barely a whisper but peter heard you loud and clear.

"i don't mean today, i'm talking about this week. where have you been?" he questioned you again this time in a softer tone.

"at school, i've been busy with stuff" you broke eye contact and looked at the table in shame.

"but you haven't gone to you locker at any point"

"i have"

"when."

"after the bell rings" you admitted.

"why? i mean you'd end up being late to class if you do that"

"i know"

"what happened? did i made you mad or something? if i did i'm sorry i swear it wan't my intention and i'd like to make up for it." he spoke i desperation, the same way you did to your mother and that made your heart clench in pain.

"you didn't do anything wrong, peter" you sighed and covered you face with your hands in stress

"then why do you hide?

shame. you wanted to scream but something inside of you just wouldn't let you speak, it was everything too embarrassing, the fight with your mom, your obvious attempts into avoiding peter, getting caught by him and being confronted about it.

taking a deep breath, you uncovered your face and looked at peter with your best 'sorry' face and just explained your thoughts to him the best you could.

"i just...i don't think you and me are compatible. you're a genius and a just amazing in general and i'm well me. your out of my league in so many way that i can't understand why do you even talk to me half of the time. i don't know even half the things you do and even when i do know some of them, you have much more knowledge about it so you have no logical reason to be close with some one so stupid like me"

"that not true"

" it is, peter. and it's not even abut you being intelligent. it's about me not being it; not being any good to you or anyone in general. i am dumb, stupid, idiotic and foolish. i am empty. not even my interest are interesting enough and the worst thing is that can't never find it in me to just try and be more likeable "

"you are likeable, i like you. that's why i'm always talking to you and around you every chance i have"

you looked at him wide eyed and watch as he processed what he said. his expression filled with panic and before he could even explain himself you were already speaking

"do you mean it?"

"what..well i mean, you know i...uhm i guess what i'm trying to say is that....yeah i mean it but you don't have to feel the same i mean i totally get why you would not want to be with me is just... let's pretend this never happened"

"i like you too" you spoke softly and felt your face blush profusely. this felt like a dream, peter parker could not be in love with you. is too good to be true. everything with him felt too good to be true.

"you do?" peter said with a hopeful tone, his eyes are shinning with adoration and relief from not being rejected by the girl he loved so deeply

"i do"

he basically rushed to your side, picked you up and kissed you with passion and love that it took everything in you to separate yourself when you ran out of breath.

peter parker loved you, there was no point in hide yourself anymore. and if he was too good to be true then it was meant to mae you just as great being by his side.

"i love you" you both whispered at the same time.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker fic #peter parker #spiderman #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker fluff #tom holland #tom holland spiderman

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saucymalum · 1 year

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What's This? (Consequences of my Actions) W.S

Wilbur Soot x Gn! reader (they/them pronouns)

Warning: Angst, Enemies to lovers, mentions of past death, y/n being dumb, miscommunication.

Summary: Bro idk figure it out.

Word Count: 2.6k

I always knew he hated me. He didn’t hide it. He didn’t like that I was “Invading” his friend group. That I was getting along with them. He didn’t like me. It infuriated me how he acted like he was better than me. All I wanted was to be his friend and he didn't give me a chance. I couldn't understand how he could hate me for no reason. So I gave him a reason.

I tried to annoy him everytime I could. He didn’t want me at a party so badly he would text me to not come and I’d arrive early with baked goods. He didn’t like me tweeting about his band so much that he’d intentionally be the only member not following me? I tagged them all in every tweet. I became his hell. Did I hate him? No. But I hated that he treated me like he was better. Like I was insignificant.

To the fans, I was their biggest fan. I’d cover their newest songs on my Instagram story and take pictures in their merch. Some thought I was even dating one of them, which was almost laughable. I truly loved them all. The party's welcoming environment they created pulled me in as Wilbur stood in the corner. His dark brown eyes look almost black in this light as he watches my every move. Watching me talk to everybody while he tries to keep up the small talk and savors his beer. His eyes left a burning trail down my skin. It became a game for me, how far I could push him.

I’d try to ask him questions in conversations, simply because I knew he didn’t want to talk to me. And that's when my plans started to crumble. I liked the guy. I thought he was fucking funny. Being antagonizing was so much easier when I didn’t know him. I wanted to be the asshole's friend. I kept trying to keep up my game, but I failed every time unless it was social media. It’s easy to fake things there. So I did.

I ignored my emotions, my guilt, and the rising feeling that I refused to acknowledge. I posted pictures of myself at their concerts; I posted their songs on my story. I was a good friend, but I avoided Wilbur. And at the end of the day, it didn't matter much to him if I showed up to the parties. I saw the glares he’d given me that made me want to laugh in his face. I missed not knowing him.

I started showing up early at parties and sneaking out early. I’d avoid Will even if I felt his eyes burn me. It seemed fine until he caught on.

I sat at their EP release celebration, an hour in, and I zoned out and stared at a wall. People passed by and I sat drinking my now warm beverage. Blurs of people, laughing, smiling, dancing, pass around me. I can't believe I did this to myself.

The seat beside me dips and I look to see Phil looking expectantly at me. One eyebrow raised slightly and his blonde hair messed up a bit.

"What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?" I laugh nervously.

He sits there, giving no answer, knowing I'll break. And I do.

I spilled everything, beginning to now. Frustration pours out every word as the temperature in the room seems to rise. I don't want to be here anymore.

Phil sighs and I feel shame replacing my relief.

"Why would you do this to yourself Y/N?"

"I DIDN'T WANT THIS! I JUST WANTED THE STUPID LITTLE PRICK TO BE HUMBLED. Or at least annoyed enough to stop being a dick." my breaths shake for a second "In no universe was THIS my plan. "

I fall into the back of the couch. "What do I do?"

"Talk to him."

I groan, "I forgot you're a 'communication is key' person"

Phil lightly shoves me, "So are you until you get scared and run away. You can't run away this time. Avoiding him means avoiding us and you know that."

“I know.”

“So what do you think you need to do?” He asks softly.

I take in a deep breath and straighten my back. My eyes find Wilbur chatting up some girl in the corner. I let my feet guide me to him and without a word, too scared to speak, I grab his jacket and pull him out onto the back porch.

“What the Fuck, Y/N?”

“What is your problem with me? You refuse to talk to me, You hate my presence, and you constantly make an effort to show me you think I'm less than you. Why?”

“Maybe because you do shit like you just did without thinking about how it’d affect me.”

I scoff, “What a cop-out. You’ve hated me from the beginning. I want you to tell me why.”

He creeps further into my personal space. His height becomes increasingly harder to ignore when he looms over me. His breath fans over my face, and I want to cringe at the warmth.

“Has it ever occurred to you in your self-centered little head that not everyone likes you? You’re not some god or goddess Y/n. You grate my veins and you enjoy it. You TRIED to annoy me and you’re confused why I don’t like you? How into yourself can you be?”

Electricity pricks at my skin and the back of my eyes burn, “Don’t act like you didn’t hate me from the get-go Wilbur. I know what it feels like to be disliked.”

“Then why does it bother you so much if I don't like you? Huh? Sweet little Y/N just wants to be loved and cherished by everyone, isn't that right?” My breath shakes as the back of his hand brushes against my cheek. “Well, life doesn’t work like that. Some people will hate your grating voice and some people can't STAND your GODDAWFUL laugh. So get over it and be a fucking adult about it. Stop being a little baby.”

WARNING: description of a panic attack, stay safe and skip to the end of the trigger warning <3

He steps back and I quickly escape the cold night that suffocates me. My throat closes in on itself and my eyes water. I can’t breathe, I can’t BREATHE. I try to drag in breaths, but the effort is beyond fruitless. Through my watery eyes and past the blur and dizziness, I walk to the bathroom. I need to escape. I need to GET OUT. Everyone hates me, such a stupid baby who can’t even handle a man not liking them. How pathetic can you get? Everyone's eyes are on me. They’re laughing at me, aren’t they? I bet they are. The bathroom door’s soft close sounds like a thunderclap in my ears but that thunderclap is the most comfort I have felt since Phil and my conversation ended. My ears are ringing. I don’t know what to do.

I sink to the floor, and my back hits the cold tile, shocking my skin through my thin shirt. I've prepared for this. Ok, just find something you can smell. Ok, I can do that. My mind wanders into my negative talk, but quickly it snaps to the smell of the Febreze air freshener going off.

Good, good. One down, four more to go. I can see the design in the ceiling, that's another.

My lungs slowly feel less pressure on them. Not a semi-truck but maybe a minivan. I can hear yelling outside the door, maybe someone knocking. It's so hard to hear when I feel like I'm underwater.

I can feel the tile under my fingertips, the cold feels nice against my skin, the hot trails that the tears leave sting and I almost want to press my face into the floor to cool them.

The sweet drink still lingers on my tongue. Good, I got all five. Now breathe. It's so hard when the hiccups interrupt but I practice these exercises daily.

The weight on my chest slowly releases and the tears go dry. I'm left exhausted. I want to go home. The room goes steady and I slowly stand on shaky legs.

I avoid the mirror as I cool my hands in the water flowing in the sink and press them to my cheeks.

WARNING OVER: Stay safe, love.

The yelling outside gets clearer when I open the door, the house has been cleared away of any guests and the pounding of my heart gets louder. Phil stands in front of Wilbur yelling at him, words I barely have the energy to decipher.

“What the fuck is wrong with you right now, Wilbur? You are a grown-ass man. What the hell would possess you to think talking to someone like that was ok?” Kristin stands next to Phil. She shoots a disappointed look at Wilbur, but he ducks away.

“Oh don’t give me the disappointed parent act.” He scoffs.

Wilbur walks over to the couch, closer to me, and I press my back closer to the bathroom door that I closed.

Phil chases after him, “Well, if you didn’t act so immature, maybe I wouldn’t have to Will! What were you thinking!? You barely know her and you already decided to chase her away?”

“If she didn’t want me to hate her maybe she could have tried to not do everything I hate on purpose.”

“You gave them a panic attack! Nothing they did made them deserve that. We just want you to explain. Can you please just let us understand?”

Wilbur pauses putting on his jacket and sighs, “I’m scared, ok?”

“Of what?”

“Phil, they remind me of Lacy, and I can’t get hurt like that again.” He turns around and his eyes meet mine. Shock and remorse fill his eyes, but he brushes past me and bolts for the door.

I take a shaky breath in and look at Phil and Kristin. "Who’s Lacy?”

We sat in the living room of Phil and Kristin’s house as they tried to explain it in the most delicate way. But really, how can you explain to someone that they reminded a person they considered an enemy of their dead girlfriend? That they reminded someone they thought hated them of someone they were in love with? I didn't think I could cry anymore. I was wrong. I reminded Wilbur of a love that was ripped away from him. I hurt him by being around him.

I wanted to be mad at him. Hurt him for punishing me for something I had no part in but I couldn't.

I just wanted to go home and never leave.

And that's what I did. I stayed in bed, emotionally exhausted and numb. My self-destruction hit me like a brick, canceling my therapy appointment for the next day and turning my phone to do not disturb.

Wilbur POV:

No one had heard from Y/N in almost a week. Seeing their face when I left made me feel like I swallowed a brick. A part of me felt glad that finally, FINALLY, they would feel just a sliver of what they've made me feel for months.

But the guilt…the guilt at that thought overwhelmed my brain quickly after. What kind of person would that make me to want someone to hurt the way I have? Even if it was someone who hurt that doesn't make it ok.

This guilt led me straight to Y/N's front door. My hand hovered over the door. What was my plan when I got here? I don't think I even gave myself time to make one.

Before I could attempt to knock on the door, it swung open with the image of Y/N's dark-circled eyes staring shocked at me.

"Oh Jesus!" they exclaim and hide behind the door a bit. The wrinkles in the pyjama shirt clinging to parts of their body. A small smile creeps into the corner of my mouth at seeing them again. To see that they were at least still alive and kicking.

"I'm so sorry to just show up like this!" I step away from the door, giving them some space. "I want to check in."

Their bottom lip moves between their teeth as they chew at the loose skin. A mental debate wars on behind their eyes, no doubt wondering who asked me to come here.

"Who blackmailed you?" they ask.

A hesitant silence floats between us as I wonder if it'd be wrong to tell the truth.

A sigh passes my lips. "I felt bad."

Their eyes quickly widen again as they forget the effort to hide themself behind the door. They rush the 2 feet to me and place a hand on my arm.

"No! No, you have nothing to be sorry for! I was a goddamn asshole, Wilbur! Why didn't you slap me earlier? I was so arrogant and antagonistic towards you. I can't believe it. You did nothing but try to avoid me because you were hurting and I made it ten times harder."

"Y/N, I said horrible things to you. I felt like a villain. I never want to feel like that again. I am so sorry for talking to you like that." My shoulders sink in a subconscious effort to get down to their level. To look they straight in the eyes. To maybe show them all the emotions that I felt the moment I left Phil's house."

Y/N sighs and releases my arm from their grip. They step out of the doorway, a silent invitation. Luckily, I'm not a vampire.

"Will, what you said was true. I can't fault you for saying the truth."

How could they think that? That anything I said was true, calling them such stupid names in order to belittle them and make them feel small? What have I done?

“Nothing, and I mean nothing, I said to you was true. Yes, I was hurt and yes how you treated me didn’t help but none of it was true and keep telling you otherwise until you believe.”

They look away from my eyes to the ground, “Well, that's gonna take a while since I thought all of those things about myself long before you told me.”

A sour feeling rises in my stomach. Everything in me wants to protect them.

“Well, I’ll be here every time you doubt me.”

They scoff, “Like you’ll call me at 3 in the morning.”

“Who says I won’t” I shrug.

Their eyes glaze over with tears as they look hopefully into mine, “This isn’t how I wanted things to go, you know. I didn’t want us to hate each other.”

They turn away from me, busying themselves in front of their kettle. “I wanted to stop that stupid game months ago.”

My eyebrows wrinkle quizzically, “Then why didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t admit to myself I had feelings for you.”

Their shoulders tense quickly and they spin around to me, “Not that I’m pressuring you at all, I swear. I just-I just had to let you know I didn’t want to hurt you like this.”

“But you did mean to hurt me?”

“I thought you saw me as less than you. I wanted to prove you wrong. Now I know I was the one in the wrong.”

“Y/N I thought you were amazing. I was stupid and thought if I avoided you I wouldn’t fall for you.” I step forward into their space, “I didn’t think I could handle it.”

“Did you?”

The space between our bodies shrinks til we’re breathing the same air.

“Yes,” I whisper, my hand gravitating to their hip.

“And can you handle it?”

“With you, I think I’ll be more than fine.”

#wilbur soot #wilbur soot angst #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur mcyt #wilbur x y/n #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur #mcyt x reader #mcyt fic #mcyt fanfic #mcyt x you #mcyt imagine #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x gender neutral reader #dsmp x reader #dsmp fanfic

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autisticbokutoenthusiast · 4 days

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pit babe ep 13 stray thoughts

(everytime i think ive posted this i look in my drafts and its still here..... maybe i was too unhinged and tumlr is trying to spare yall)

-northsonic influencer era finally paying off. its time for these volggers to bring justice!!!!

-sonic's insta story:

- DID HE KILL A FUCKING KID WHAT THE FUCK

- jeff get his ass THIS ENDS NOW!!! TONY YOU WILL CRUMBLE

- alan hiding jeff behind him is so funny like jeff is the one with alpha healing but ok

- winner is still taking me out like how did he end up high ranking in this mess

- jrgkhksghjshggjka sonic being like stop tapping me with your gun im concentrating 🥺

- is winner just a northsonic anti or is he the only character unaware hes in a bl

- its the way north always puts himself in front of sonic but sonic holds him up from behind :/

-winner, my baby, put the gun down. look at me, look at me!! this isnt you. stop this!

-winners pathetic ass i told you he wouldn't last in organized crime. oh they kicking the SHIT out of him. oh poor guy

-the fight scenes this ep >>>>

-pete i get but why do babe an way know how to shoot guns nvm babe keeps missing

-WAY NOOOOOOOO NOOOOOO NOOOOO WAY GET UP GET THE FUCK UP STOP MESSING AROUND WAY GET UPP

-babe and tony having a slayful baby hairs off

-STAWP WITH THE FAWKING FLASHBACKS ENOUGH! oh babe

-KENTAAAAA AND HIS KNIFE LETS GOOOOO

-all of tonys kids watching him die..... all having a different reaction....

-x hunter wathcing way die....

-WAYYY STOP THIS GET UPPP STAND THE FUCK UP WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME WAY STOP IT YOURE GOING TO THE END WITH HIM WAY STOP

enough...

-pete crying in the back... im going to launch myself into the mid atlantic

-WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY ABOUT THESE DAMN FLASHBACK SEQUENCES ENOUGH

-god pete was gone fromt the first meeting....

-northsonic lost their big brother ive had it lets wrap this up i cant take it

-god babe is next no im looking away i will not see

-charlie just wants babe to be happy...

- oh he just wanted babe to be taken care of…. oh he keeps a scrapbook…

- kim’s autistic swag is radiating so hard

- babe having to do the focus….

- this man is pregnant good for him. good for papa and mama

- can charlie absorb enigma powers asking for a friend and his pregnancy test

- did they kill winner where is he

- awwwwww. i wish i was that good at setting up picnics

- ITS OVER NOOOOOOOOOOOO

this was a fun show to watch and also the first piece of omegaverse media i ever finished.... so a good introduction agjkjgalkjg

#abe watches #pit babe the series

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buckybarnesss · 5 months

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"He does take stiles original body and the show doesnt talk about that" i suspected that and now im just What if due to it being a new body, technically, his old scars and such are gone. Stiles notices cause scars hes used to seeing from childhood are gone. It would probably send him into a spiral? Like sometimes you look at a scar from childhood and remember the memory with it, if one of those was from his mom teaching him to ride a bike and he remembered everytime he looked at it, but now its gone... i think Stiles would have a lot more hatred for the Nogitsune for taking even more from him than he originally thought.

the show really glosses over the significant trauma stiles had to have gone through. he was possessed. violated so intimately none of us can possibly fathom. his body, his face, the knowledge of his loved ones was used as a weapon against them. it used his mother's illness and death to make him lose hope. stiles watched his own body crumble into dust which would cause intense body dysmorphia one would think. then the cherry on top allison died.

i'm gonna plug way down we go by wolfspurr right here because i loved the details of stiles cataloging his body post-nogitsune and the fallout from the possession.

i still think it was a mistake in s4 to not address properly.

i get it. at the end of the day that's not the kind of show teen wolf was. the show explored death, trauma, grief and abuse but not at the level needed for that. none of these characters are healed by the end of the show. the only mental health professional we meet in the show is marin morell who is shady af and eichen house is an ethics black hole.

i think teen wolf's approach is best encapsulated at the end of lunar eclipse:

scott: stiles and i both feel it, every day, just like you said we would. and it makes me think about that quote jennifer used to start our first class... bcecause when I feel it, yeah, it's like... i'm looking "into the heart of an immense darkness." deaton: so, what do you do instead? scott: i look for my friends.

#my blog #thoughts on teen wolf #teen wolf #sterek

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kay-elle-cee · 7 months

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I would love to know about James' feelings that time they first meet eyes years later. Directors take OR a James POV 😍

HELLO Athena! Thank you for your patience since I've saved this in my inbox to answer after the final chapter of i'll be fine, i'll be good went live. Answer below the cut! (And a reminder that anyone can ask me for thoughts/Director’s Cut for any of my fics at any time!)

(sorry I tried to refine this but it still ended up a bit word vomity!)

ALRIGHT so we learn in chapter six that James was, in fact, really broken up about Lily for awhile (I mean....that's not particularly a spoiler, is it?). I like to think that by the time James sees Lily—like walking into the shop and having face-to-face interaction with her for the first time since he told her he loved her all those years ago (oh my god ow)—he's really processed everything and made peace with it all. He's had his eyes opened a little bit more by his work with the Order to just how difficult and dangerous it was for her. He's forgiven her, and he understands (to an extent) her actions, but he also knows that because of this he can't really be mad at her, and he just...is trying to be as normal as he can (even though a part of him misses her). So he has to be careful.

He's known she's worked at that apothecary for years. Remus absolutely told him immediately (well, maybe not immediately, but definitely within that first month). And he's likely agonized time and time again on if he should go in, how bad would it be to look through the window, maybe one of us should just, like, make sure she's okay...But then you have Sirius (and to a lesser extent Remus and Peter) reminding James of what kind of toll Lily took on him last time, reminding him that if she wanted to see him, she could reach out, reminding him how far he's come and fuck Evans because she hurt you. And James, even if he doesn't feel Sirius' anger at the whole situation, maybe listens to this, lets it bolster him to keep his resolve hardened and his guard up.

But then he gets paired up with Sam for the potions run. And he definitely panics and feeds her some BS line about him needing to wait outside so they're not ambushed in the shop and she's like whatever you weirdo I'm going to go see this really interesting girl I met and could definitely be friends with YOUR LOSS. And then she's chatting and he's out there just getting so nervous because what if Sam lets it spill to Lily that he's out here and then they get to talking, what would Lily say would Lily be mad would she want to say hi why do I care so much about what Lily thinks? He's done so well at living his life in a post-Lily world but suddenly everytime he's around this shop she's just there on his mind. So he gets a little overwhelmed and opens that little door and tells Sam to hurry up without ever looking in because he knows there's a real possibility that the second he sees Lily (really sees her) this resolve he has might crumble.*

*And I think it's important to note here that I'm not suggesting James would fall to her feet and confess his love with one glance, but he'd be James. He'd be kind (maybe too kind), and he suspects that somewhere in his heart he still loves her and is worried that it'd be too easy to fall back into that pattern after all the work he's done.

But yeah so he and Sam leave and he's in the all clear but then he gets injured in the field and Sam has to leave and suddenly he's in charge of the potions supply runs and he has no other choice—he has to SEE HER. He spends the whole morning fretting, trying to remain calm, trying not to run scenarios through his head and telling himself he can do it, that it's no big deal—he's just a patron and she's just a shopkeep. (He's definitely not looking forward to it, even if he had all of those musings about dipping in and seeing her over the last few years—that's idealistic James and this is practical James.) I think he goes so far as to even try to remember some of the anger he had felt towards her at one point of time—really grasping for anything to make sure and keep that distance between them. But it's this weird thing because Remus told him about the Snape encounter so he's also a little worried about her and it's this tightrope of keeping things professional. Not concerned, not angry, but something neutral in between.

And then he sees her. And he thought he was prepared, and he was so, so wrong. There's pain, when their eyes meet. The last time he looked into them echoes in his mind and there's pain and a little bit of that anger comes back and maybe it's anger at her but maybe it's also a little bit of anger for himself—for not understanding her as well as he feels he should have. But he leans on the anger, only giving her the shortest of answers, and he leaves. And he thinks: I can do this.

And when he gets sent again, he holds onto that anger a bit tighter and tries to ignore the undeniable way his heart beats faster when that bell over the door rings.

Listen I might do a James POV of some scenes one day, if the urge strikes and people are interested, who knows?

#asked and answered #ibfibg spoilers #ibfibg extras #athenasparrow

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gandalfsbignaturals · 1 year

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That post about tme/tma was pretty funny to read as I have as a trans man experienced trans misogyny multiple times. I have a man’s name and dress in men’s clothes and multiple times people have thought I am a trans woman who I guess is mid social transition or smth? Idk man its weird. I think its valuable to talk about different experiences with transphobia within the trans/lgbt community and outside of it but i guess its easy to forget how varied the trans experience can be. Also why is there no term for the transphobia fuelled misogyny trans men face? As a trans man i feel like i can’t escape misogyny even from people who accent me as a man. Misogyny is also often the first punishment and slap in the face against me by transphobes. They rarely say anything about me being trans but just talking sexist shit?

see, thats another thing about transmisogyny that i think a lot of people forget. its not separate from misogyny and transphobia, it is the intersection of those two. so, if someone is both transphobic and misogynist, anybody who they think looks trans and they think looks like a woman is a potential target.

this actually includes, like, a lot of trans men, because 99% of these bigots dont actually care to learn a single thing about trans people. they often literally do not know enough about trans-ness to tell the difference between a trans man and a trans woman. they see someone who looks like theyre doing gender wrong, and they floor it, and anyone who doesnt conform enough can be caught in the crossfire.

additionally, trans men dont get to opt out of misogyny when they start transitioning. many trans men struggle to pass as men, because gender is a tricky thing. and if you dont pass as a man, or if you dont have your legal name changed, or if you dont have your gender marker changed, then anybody could still decide that youre a woman and treat you accordingly. trans men experience misogyny just as much as trans women do, and because they are also trans, they often fall victim to the same structures that cause transmisogyny.

trans men have actually tried a few times to coin words to describe these unique intersectional experiences, similar to the reason transmisogyny was coined, but everytime they have faced pushback from the community, and especially from trans women. transmisandry and transandrophobia are both words that trans men have tried to coin to describe their experiences, and theyve been so thoroughly ridiculed for it that ive seen trans women go around calling people "transandrophobia truthers." these words that trans men have tried to define for themselves have become jokes in the mouths of those who should be their allies.

this is another reason why i am so against tme/tma as labels. if we exclude trans men from being able to be victims of transmisogyny, but we also deny them the words they need to talk about their own unique intersectional experiences of oppression, then we are essentially saying we dont care about those experiences. we are silencing them the same way we have been silenced for years.

thats why im so gungho about trans unity. yes, our experiences are different, but the structures and the people oppressing us are the same. we are not enemies, and if we paint each other as enemies, if we try to silence each other, if we continue to squabble amongst ourselves and focus on what divides us instead of what brings us together...

we are doing the fascists' work for them, and our communities will crumble to dust.

i dont want to live in a world where im enemies with my trans masc brothers. i dont want to live in a world where finding common ground between us is seen as wrong. we have to stick together if we want to survive, but moreover, we have to stick together if we want to thrive. trans men, trans women, and every other flavor of trans people under the sun all enrich the queer experience. it is a beautiful, profound thing to reject ones nature and find belonging with the othered. to sully that beauty with the blood of our allies is to invite the end.

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kapapi-o · 9 months

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Thirst (VampMiguel x GenNeutral Reader Oneshot)

Word count: 407

warning: some dark themes, obsessive and possessive behavior (from reader), masochism if you squint.

des: AU Vampire Miguel and his partner who's thirstier than him, basically lol.

=================================

Carefully, he placed a hand to my waist and pulled me closer, using his other hand to trail alongside my neck. He comes closer, his warm breath tickling my skin before I feel the piercing of his fangs, taking from me what I let him. I gripped the sides of his arms not out of pain, but from want. A want for more.

This innate and insatiable want--to be the object he desires and holds most precious to him...and yet, as he drank from me, he was so soft and gentle...I felt how much he cared enough to ensure I'd feel alright without having to ask...

So much so that I felt guilty for feeling that way. That I want to be his...purely in the sense that--when I breathe him and he eventually has to part from me, that I would want to see him again so that there's reason in living...Or in the way that he's forever on my mind and i in his...

When he loves me so tenderly, I want to be beat with it...I want to feel the strongest sensations of his love and affection, and bear the pain he'd give with it. I want to crumble under the weight of them both, and be held down and bound to him that way.

He cradles me so lovingly, so carefully, that it leaves much to be desired. Though I know he does it to keep it painless and safe, I want to suffocate in that feeling of him...but I wouldn't dare say it, these are...dark thoughts.

"Miguel..." I breathed out, calling to him in the dark of night while he lay laxed next to me.

"Yes?" He ran his fingers through my hair, eyes of devotion peering into my lusting ones...I knew it.

"Nothing, my love...I just wanted to hear your voice.." I lied and smiled sweetly at him. Him being none the wiser grinned at me, returning to his sleeping state, his arms anchoring and tormenting me once more.

Yet another night where I can't look him in the eye and tell him how much I yearned to be craved by him...not when he looks at me so purely…

Everytime i feel him biting into me, I feel the lines between madness and love blurring more and more…and each time, my sanity trickles bit by bit.

–At least, his thirst is quenchable.

=================================

A/n: A little oneshot of Miguel O'Hara that I cooked up one delirious 2 AM morning. I've been only posting Cyno, so I wanted to stir the pot a little, a dash of variety, get some spaeice in there 🥴🤌

I'll update my other things soon, toodaloo~

-Kapi <3

=============================tags==

#miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #miguel spiderverse #miguel spiderman #miguel x reader #miguel x y/n #spiderman 2099 #2099 #atsv #vampire #vampire thirst #vampire miguel o’hara #miguel ohara vampire #vampire au #gender neutral reader #toxic love #toxic #obsessive love #possessive+

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eyelessfaces · 2 years

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headcanons for steven with a s/o who's fluent in french

hello babes here's my contribution to the steven grant fanclub because I recently realized I had never posted anything for him..... (I have written some things but I've never posted them. shame on me)

it's canon that steven loves french poetry so LETS GO

also hey surprise I'm french so this one is very self indulgent lol sorry. god why am I so nervous about telling you I'm french I feel like I'm coming out to my family what the hell.

anyways I hope you'll enjoy this <3

-okay so I think you would be pretty secret about it but not in a 'you'll never know that I speak french' way but more in a 'oh yeah I can speak french I forgot' kind of way

-so you and steven would have been dating for a few months already and he still wouldn't know you speak french

-I think he would discover it the most random way possible. like by hearing you speak on the phone in french

-and he would be like :O wHAT

-he'd be so shocked

-and maybE a little turned on. (yk..... that cliché about people that speak french being so sexy mh)

-but I still think he'd be a little offended that you never told him you could speak french like that.

-once your call is over he'd just come to you with a beaten expression and would just go 'why did you never tell me you could speak french?'

-and you would just go 'désolé(e). forgot to mention it'

-he would immediately forgive you because he's admirative

-'wow... you're even more amazing than I thought you already were'

-he wants to know everything about how you've learned french

-he'd tell you about his favorite french poets and he'd ask you for some translations of the words he didn't quite catch

-he would ask you to correct him on his accent even though you think it's really cute

-he'd try to have chats with you

-I said TRY.......

-he quickly realized he just prefered when you read to him in french

-or just told him about your day in french

-even if he can understand like half of what you're saying

-he would ask you to teach him french pet names and he'd use them on you ALL THE TIME because they make you blush SO HARD

-'ma chérie/mon chéri' 'mon amour'

-you'd just crumble everytime they come out of his mouth

-I wouldn't be surprised if he wrote his own poems.

-so he'd try to write some in french

-and they're ALL about you

-there are some mistakes here and there but you really don't mind because it's just adorable

-he'd stay awake late at night to perfect them but he would just fall asleep on his desk

-so marc takes control of the body to put it in bed but reads the poem and goes

-'wow buddy you're next level whipped'

-but he thinks that's cute

---

désolé(e) = sorry;

ma chérie/mon chéri = darling;

mon amour = my love

#steven grant #steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #steven grant headcanon #steven grant headcanons #steven grant fanfiction #marc spector #marc spector x reader #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader #moon knight #moon knight x reader #moon knight headcanon #moon knight headcanons #steven grant x gn!reader

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eviltiddyprodnz · 1 year

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Queen Charlotte : A Bridgerton Story Review

SPOILERS !!!! watch out bae <333

honestly, ngl I watched this show only because of the chemistry in the teaser. like the wall scene encouraged me to watch it. Bridgerton is always a little hit and miss for me in a I could not finish season 1 for the life of me but watched the next one like 8 times.

It felt a little too fast paced and people began pissing me off from episode 1 but I reminded myself it was a historical show. Although her brother just signing her away and then saying 'shut up, it's already done' made me so mad ??? like let her react ??? even further down the episodes even when he's concerned, he's like oops sorry, already done now like bitch ??? 😭😭😭 so just #uselesss and annoying !!! I am sorry his little burst @ her got me because she didn't even have time to react !!!

The wall scene comes and I'm practically ready to jump but then to me it felt like the show was going 80 kms/min I was like woah woah woah, why is he saying all the right things... this is just moving too fast. (i want to gloat about being right about being suspicious but the way all i knew i was it felt shady, still had no idea what was coming fr 😭)

they were so cute and tender :'(((( ! like this is what the show kept doing to me till we got George POV. I kept on thinking we were just skipping conversations or moving too fast or just going at it because chemistry !!! but one thing about me, i'll see a romance show through and i'm kinda glad.

the show moves too quickly in the first 3 episodes for me, especially if you're binging it like me. a part of me is glad like yes babe! keep kissing each other (their chemistry is insane!) but the other part is like ??? you're not even going to talk about things. like initially i was even mad that he got to decide when they saw each other and got to be with her with a small ass apology. (the pov episode does so much for us as an audience but my girl was #robbed of many explanations)

they look great together!!! like even when she heard his outburst from the door and thought that he married her and is miserable. you could see both of them really liked each other which is why you keep waiting for an explanation, although i was wondering since they dropped each other's hands QUICKLY post coronation did the king not find it weird that she suddenly is angry ??? maybe i'll catch things on a rewatch. like he's ready and has moved in with her !!! but is not curious that she's visibly angry ???

i also will use this post to say everytime someone is not there in the morning after scenes with their partner, a part of me dies !!! unless they have gone to bring you food, you better be cuddling mate !

i for some reason called Brimsley and Renoylds little romance, i just felt vibes and yet I yelped happily when they started making out while wondering what is wrong with the king lmaooo. #real and also the actual power couple of the show! their interactions made the show worthwhile and i love how both of them were ready to risk all sorts of conduct because of how much they cared for these bozos. trust me their hands slowly touching each other had me waiting breathless because for a second i thought they were about to break up 😭 i wanted to see them grow old together

back to the king and queen shenanigans, honestly i thought that the king had just grown forgetful or just had old people problems in the og show so i was actually surprised when he ran out of the house looking for Venus.

episode 4 is we get George's pov and honestly for a bit my stubborn ass was still not ready to hear explanations till I saw him crumble into his mom's arms and it broke my heart. :( (i do not know what the illness is so i am not going to assume or probably read other posts and learn but it feels like anxiety is always a trigger for it and i felt like leaping in like a protective mother everytime someone put him in that situation)

the actor is so good with tender eyes, like the way he looked at her made me wipe out all of the memories of the earlier 3 episodes and go awwww you love her. that doctor was shady from the jump and just kept on getting worse, like the way i wanted to actually k!ll him. like he actually seemed to be enjoying the torture he was doling out on this poor man... with the obsessive need to tame him like WHEN I CATCH YOU ! (nasty ass loser, like when he spoke about taming the wolf i just knew he was not okay...) practically used the shaving routine as a way to threaten the king! loserrrr

i love that her calling that small dog a deformed bunny is what makes the king laugh (which is a relief to see post doc torture) and is what brings him out of this, and he's like fuck this shit! i'm seeing my wife. both the actors are so gorgeous...

also i am a sucker !!! for POVS and this one came with explanations so i was even a bigger sucker

Renoylds just placing a hand on the king's shoulder did more than what the dumbass doc's aggressive slaps or methods could do...

one night with the queen, one dance with the queen and the king was like i'm all healed up he's just like me !!! he was so in love lmao

then he has the episode and the queen handles it well, but he wakes up alone

the queen was fully right for asking questions but once again like the first heard the conversation through the doors, instead of even slight miscommunication, we get no communication. btw, she's pregnant too (which starts the venus panic in the first place) , blessings ! she actually begins to show a full bump and btw this is where i think the timeline fully goes helter skelter for me because did he just leave her for months and worse did he get TORTURED FOR MONTHS???

my girl is about to leave and a lot happens and i'm running out of word limit so i'll save that for another post but a chat with lady danbury #mygirl pushes the queen into the king's place and she rescues him. I NEEDED THAT BAD like you do not understand for a second i was convinced that the doctor would break him and the queen and the king would never even be able to say i love you, like i thought he'd somehow freeze in that moment right there (it is stupid but like i was actually afraid)

she saves him, they tell each other they love her and like i'm ready to go to war for them atp, they are so tender in the way they hug and you can see relief in his eyes, in her eyes and you let go of a breath you didn't know you were holding.

i love how she lets him heal but more in how she takes care of him when she can feel panic rise and his hands shake and how he calms listening to his voice ( take that nasty violent ass doctor)

the way they lied under the bed and he was afraid he would never be fully there for her and understood if she wanted to leave and she said fuch that! i love you and you're just george, just george to me <3

anyway, i feel a wave of sleep coming because i intelligently watched this at 2 am and it is 6 now but the last two episodes were me just awwing at the screen watching him trust her and himself and be happy with her. i'm so happy he got to share that with her

the children, lady danbury and violet thing I'll get onto later

the scene where the king's mom tells the queen that he's happy because of her is so sweet because it is reminiscent of the dance scene where she also realised he was happy happy.

i love how he swoops his arms around her !!! he's happy and safe <333

also this is where the timeline shakes me up because my girl is already pregnant??? AGAIN??? i feel like he helped her deliver their first baby in the same episode LMAOOOO

anyway text limit warning but yeah i liked it

#queen charlotte #queen charlotte: a bridgerton story #bridgerton #i wanted to say stick it out for the couple and brimsley and renoylds #cuties #the chemistry is insane like it will keep you sitting till the first 3 episodes #bridgerton won #just george #they are so tender #lady danbury deserves the world kinda #i do think the writing except for the king and queen was very helter skelter #my eyes are so heavy i'll get back to this later #sorry if this is all over the place lmao i don't know how i even managed to hit the text limit

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symphonxx · 7 months

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So, in the midst of scrolling through tiktok nd waiting for kubosai content, i stumbled upon sumn I should’ve watched back during quarantine.

Cherry Magic. ( or Cherry Magic! 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい )

It never occurred to me that i should watch it until two days ago, when a video a close friend of mine reposted came up. Despite having told myself that i might watch it back in 2020 when it came out, i never actually got to watching it but now that i did, I want to say that, its a fkin masterpiece.

Adachi nd Kurosawa have such a lovely relationship, that doesn’t necessarily revolve around sex ( something that i try to put off from most BL’s ppl around me have introduced ). The side characters are all well written and really memorable despite the little scenes they have with the main protagonists.

My favourites are definitely Adachi, Kurosawa, Rokkaku and Fujisaki! They’re all so sweet to each other nd their dynamic makes it more or less sweeter!! The way they ( Adachi nd Kurosawa ) inspire both Fujisaki and Rokkaku in their own ways. But despite the little ( i mean, does it count as little?? They do have alot of screentime together??? ) scenes they have, they do make their scenes worthwhile to watch and man they are js so adorable everytime they come up 😭😭

Adachi and Kurosawa on the other hand, are rlly rlly cute. Their relationship makes me crumble and fold.

Kurosawa is such a green flag. The way he wants to hold and kiss Adachi but holds back from his urges bcs he cares more abt Adachi than his own urges. Sure its basic human decency but seeing it actually being well-portrayed in a BL show ( not that I rarely see it, its more of most Japanese shows being weird nd stuff ykwim? ) makes it so much more refreshing to watch. Also the way he cares so so much abt Adachi? He could sense if Adachi is more gloomier, picks up on the lil quirks Adachi has, makes sure Adachi is smiling most of the time bcs he enjoys seeing him happy more than he enjoys seeing him being upset etc etc. It’s js so heartwarming and Kurosawa doesnt even have mind reading powers to do that. He supports Adachi all the way, even spending days trying to help Adachi perfect his presentation skills nd stuff nd js ughhhhh-

Adachi, is incredibly cute as well, his little bedhead, the funny monologues he does in his head, his existential crisis’ everytime he hears Kurosawa’s thoughts, the amount of “ Ehs “ he says and the way he thinks so lowly of himself makes his character relatable and endearing. He gets so excited about the thought of being popular or being an inspiration but immediately turns the idea down due to some unforeseen circumstances or js bcs of his thoughts. He sees himself as a normal boring person, doing normal boring things in his life. Hell, even we see that Kurosawa thought of him that way too before he fell for him. Everyday is the same for him etc, at one point when Urabe-san, his senior, suggests dating Fujisaki-san, he instantly turns down the idea. Even after thinking abt it, he turns it down bcs he thinks it would be impossible ( to an extent ).

But despite all that, Kurosawa and the others genuinely think of him as an incredibly hardworking, reliable and kind colleague to have around their work place. Even though he used to pick things up through his mind reading powers, he does show that, even without it, hes still as kind and reliable.

The show is so amazing and im planning to watch the others ( eg. the movie, the manga, the anime?? ) because i just cant get enough of them!!

Also i cant do reviews for the life of me so this would be the longest you get out of me yet. I usually attempt to ramble a whole abt my fav shows or anything but whenever i try, my brain melts or get all woozy at the thought of them bcs I JUST LOVE THEM SO SO MUCHHHH !!!!

Anyways, I’ll do another Kubosai post soon.

#symph rambles #i’ll try to do sum Kubosai things #but if yall ever want me to talk abt Cherry Magic more #i will #i love them a whole ton #this is the most i’ve written for a show #jesus #i love love love them #waaa #cherry magic #30 years of virginity can make you a wizard #please watch it #or moot me if u do watch it #or js msg me #pls #i need more ppl to talk abt it

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