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#existentalism
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Man only likes to count his troubles; he doesn't calculate his happiness.
Fyodor Dostoevsky
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sloanaffirmations · 1 year
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🤟🤩🤟Like,Share,or type "LET IT SHINE" to affirm💖💿🎧🎵
✅️Let heal the damage that you can feel💖
✅️It's worth it your dreams come true🌈🦋
✅️patty
This is for all you dreamers out there all you existential dread havers. Let it shine babes
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nikolasongsa · 1 year
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Christianity wants to rule over beasts of prey; its method is to make them sick,—weakening is the Christian recipe for domestication, for ‘civilisation’.
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- Friedrich Nietzsche, The Antichrist
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kikisnotebook · 1 year
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I feel so... plain but hear me out, I don't hate it. I'd love to be more, of course, but I've learned to appreciate the average. I'm not the first person you find in a crowd or the funniest one or even the brightest. I'm just alright. I'm not the strong coffee you taste in the morning or the refreshing iced soda you drink in a hot day, I'm just the lukewarm water in a kettle after you let it sit there for too long. I used to hate it but somehow I began to find beauty in the simple things that make me... me. I'm by no means eye-catching or memorable or promising. I'm just enough and that's okay by me. If no one appreciates my simpleness, my boringness even, I do. I don't need to push myself to be more, bigger, prettier, louder, funnier, sharper. I'm pretty average and still I'm enough as it is.
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overheardschoolbus · 1 year
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8yo: I got a question!
Driver: Shoot.
8yo: Why is the universe—
Driver: *panics*
8yo: —I mean the moon!
8yo: Why is the moon red sometimes?
Driver: Oh (thank goodness) well…
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recuerdos-profugos · 6 months
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Créditos al autor
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ollie-garden · 2 years
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we are but nothing in the grand sands of the universe. we are dead stars, staring back up at the sky and knowing there’s more to explore. there’s something out there, flying with all records of humanity of that point. it has greetings in many languages. it has a picture of earth, simply labeled “home.” we are already ghosts in the pilot’s seat, our past experiences nothing but memories now.
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chillqu33n · 1 year
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My love for latino book crowley from @/hg_aneh, i drawed C/A in the Lopes Mendes' beach (Ilha grande-Brasil) and the discord group just come with the idea of crowley trying surf.
Warning:
!!!AZIRA FULL OF PASTELZINHO!!! (Collab with @/MooneSaiky )
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phantomphangphucker · 28 days
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Phic Phight - Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome
@atropos_aeneas @Anguished-Lurker @higgidigs @princessfanonanona @Ghostfox_fuyu @armed-with-knitting-needles
No one had ever died, a fact Phantom and all of Amity was frankly proud of, that couldn’t last though… could it? Or was everyone just too changed by everything for them to be undone by death? Either way, Lancer has class to teach and a school to more or less run.
Lancer was well aware of the simple fact that Amity Park was a very dangerous and strange town to live in, and he was also well aware that the reason for that was not just the ghosts; only mostly them. The teens in town had all long since lost any semblance of risk avoidance and had taken to doing incredibly dangerous hobbies; frequent drag races, parkour, rooftop hockey, and actively playing with the smaller ghosts. It worried him some honestly, more so in the early days than now, now it was just simply normal.
Everyone being slightly ecto-contaminated, and thusly much more durable with minor healing factors, gave him some peace of mind at least.
Further, if he’s being honest, Jack Fenton’s driving was far more dangerous than any ghost, known and unknown, to man. He, like everyone else in Amity, firmly believed that who ever approved Jack Fenton’s license, if anyone actually had, should be fired and investigated posthaste. One of the downsides to being aware of the road threat that was Jack Fenton was being too relaxed when there wasn’t a GAV road warning out. Another was not being worried about any other driver's, because surely one insane driver would cancel out the requirement for any other forms of bad driving; everyone would drive like angels to avoid being compared to Jack, drag races notwithstanding. And the last downside was having something of a god complex behind the wheel, if one could survive Jack Fenton’s driving on the weekly then surely they were immune to road-related injuries.
All three of these downsides were exactly why Lancer was currently in this situation. Him get t-boned by a semi -an out of town delivery semi, Lancer notes very pointedly- and was thrown front end first into a fire hydrant… and unfortunately all of Amity’s fire hydrants -and telephone poles for that matter- had to be reinforced both because of ghosts and Jack Fenton.
Now all of that would have been acceptable, more or less, he would have gotten badly injured for sure but Lancer had always had a love for older vehicles; meaning he drove an older vehicle, one without a seatbelt or airbags. In retrospect that was rather foolish to do in Amity, but sue him, he was allowed to take some risks himself too. So instead of smashing his face into an airbag and having a seatbelt to hold him in, Lancer went out the windshield, which thankfully seemed to just pop out since he never really felt it shatter.
So now here Lancer is, groaning and pushing himself up out of a bush, a bush that he is thanking everything that he got thrown into since it must have cushioned the impact. And giving himself a once over, maybe not wearing seatbelts or having airbags in this town was actually a good idea, seeing as there doesn’t appear to be a single scratch on him. His clothing isn’t even torn, at least he doesn’t have to try and replace one of his favourite shirts; it was important to appreciate the little mercies. His car on the other hand…
Pushing his way out of the bush and staring at the wreck, his car is a pancake. Unrecognizable even.
If he hadn’t been thrown out he would certainly be dead.
Explicitly dead.
Vaguely he wonders if he would have become a ghost himself, in this town and with this contamination, it was mostly likely a certainty. Instead, his potentially poor road safety decisions and ecto-contamination had just saved him. Saved him from not just medical bills but potentially death itself. Breathing out slowly, quoting Isaac Asimov, “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome”, breathing again, “much the same, I was well before and I shall be well again. Any shock, replacing my car, and suddenly facing my mortality; is only a troublesome transitional period”; and breaths again.
He’s aright.
Well. Okay.
Yes he’ll need to check his meager bank account -even these days teachers were still woefully underpaid- to see if he had the funds for a new used vehicle. Then there was all the time researching and searching for something he could both drive and would enjoy driving. But he was o-kay, and that was enough.
He, however, did not have the time for shock or to got to the hospital; he had a class to teach tomorrow and paper work to be done. Daniel was still settling in as a teacher and Lancer will not let that boy-now-man down now after everything Lancer’s done to get him to enjoy schooling again. Especially when his parents still seemed to not truly care about the man, and frankly the odd man was only able to get a job by being too good to refuse to hire… and it helped Daniel actually cared about all the teens. Wanted them to not go through all the troubles he seemingly did; the stories Lancer got often made him feel like he both failed and succeeded with the man at the same time.
Was Lancer distracting himself with his usual worry ex-student? Maybe. But it gets him moving to check on the driver enough to see that the older man’s alright but shaken and calling the emergency line. Lancer would stick around but again, he has school to prepare for.
So instead he walks home. Nothing more nothing less. Doesn’t stop for food. Doesn’t go to peruse the Bookworm’s shelves for new reads, as he had been planing to do. Doesn’t even stop to say high to the nearest gas station clerk. He goes home, makes tea, wraps himself in a blanket, allows himself to watch three episodes of his most recent favourite soap opera, and then finishes winding down with paper work. Grading seniors papers was usually genuinely enjoyable rather than purely tedious or worrying, since seniors took things more seriously.
It’s… a good way to end what could have been a truly horrific day even if he definitely felt a fair bit off kilter.
When he gets up in the morning he doesn’t really think much about still feeling a bit off or the bout of insomnia he had; he had been through a rather traumatic experience after all. He only hopes the lack of sleep doesn’t catch up with him in the middle of the day, he didn’t like being off his game. However, having a tired teacher and vice principle, was better than not having one at all. He’ll take what he can get in this case, he was lucky he was fine at all as it was.
So regardless of the potential looming exhaustion, Lancer hails a cab to work. The cabbie gives Lancer a bit of a strange look but quickly shrugs and takes him to Casper-high without comment; perhaps Lancer should have actually checked his face for any bruising, he did have make up he could have covered any busing with after all…
The ride was blissfully normal, thankfully, at least. Yes Lancer will admit he was a bit nervous about another accident, even if the chance of that happen twice in one week to him was statistically speaking incredibly unlikely. The sun hasn’t risen above the horizon yet, the sky is clear, there’s no ghosts, and Casper-high looks fully intact.
Good. Normal.
However, as he approaches the building, something explicitly not normal and concerningly not good happens. The faintly sparkling ghost shield, the one that mostly protected the school from most of at least the weaker ghosts, the one FentonWorks product that had never caused any kind of issues or damages, the one anti-ghost method of protecting the students that didn’t involve guns, and the one that Lancer had felt the mild tingle of passing through near daily for the past year. The tingle was strange but an easy adjustment, especially for the safety it provided, being ecto-contaminated was well known to be why the tingle happened especially as those who frequented Casper-high had more ecto-contamination than most. The Highschool was, unfortunately, a ghost hot spot after all and frequent decontamination of the grounds and equipment was a must as a result.
Apparently today was the day that the shield decided to be a problem, perhaps the ecto-contamination in him -and likely all the other more senior staff- had simply gotten to too high a level… which would of course mean he’d have to have a conversation with the Fenton’s immediately. Or rather, he should call Daniel, let him know of this issue and to arrive slightly early to check it out, that was a far less painful idea and would involve far less monologuing from the Fenton patriarch… or the man accusing Lancer of being a ghost and covering him in goop for the hundredth time.
So Lancer pulls out his phone with a sigh, eyeing the shield as it rings and he holds it up to his ear.
“Lance? What’s up? It’s still, like, ass-o-clock in the morning there’s no way I’m late. Oh Ancients am I late or something? Fuck”.
Lancer sighs to himself, he never did manage to get Daniel’s language under control. At least he never swore at students… well, he did just not in English, which was good enough apparently. “Language. No, you’re not late. However there seems to be an, issue, of some kind with the ghost shield and I was inquiring if you’d be willing to check it out before I have to deal with Maddie or, forbid, Jack”, then quoting Eat That Frog!, “One of the very worst uses of time is to do something very well that need not to be done at all”.
Daniel laughs, loudly, “okay, okay, that makes sense. I’ll be there sooner than you’d expect me to be, ‘cause Amity is ‘like that” and all. If it’s really jacked up then I’ll have to get them to take it down though”, grumbling, “since I’m not allowed to have the codes or blueprints anymore”.
Lancer frowns faintly, those parents of his had absolutely no trust in him anymore, yes Daniel was ‘pro ghost’ unlike them and yes Daniel was also a prankster known for messing with things, but that didn’t really matter. Daniel was a genius in his own right, about ghosts and tech and space, he just didn’t agree with them, which made him a fool and a risk in their eyes. Lancer shakes his head, “unfortunate. I’ll see you soon then”. The phone clicks off and Lancer settles in to wait.
Daniel shows up not even three minutes later, weirdly quick, almost concerning actually, but that was normal for him. It was something to do with his and the towns contamination making it so that he nearly teleported unintentionally around when he wanted to go somewhere specific, the towns ecto-energy snagging onto his and pulling him along… or at least that’s the explanation Daniel was going with at least.
Daniel is waving at him with furrowed brows and a possibly pinched -it was hard to tell with Daniel- smile, the man does eye the shield some as he gets over fully. Daniel humming, “well it’s not on fire”.
Lancer grimaces, that would be much more concerning, “is that possible?”.
Daniel shrugs, “I mean maybe, their base substrate before filtering and whatnot is super flammable. I’m not allowed near it for reasons”, and smirks to himself in that way that tells Lancer the man intentionally set something on fire with it. Daniel looks back to him, and yes his smile is definitely pinched, “let’s, uh, walk over to the control box”, gestures over Lancer’s shoulder and starts walking without waiting for a response.
Lancer just watches him go for a beat, a little thrown off, something was up and something being up with Daniel was never good. Having to catch up a little, even if Daniel wasn’t exactly going fast since he knew that Lancer wasn’t what anyone would call a fast walker, “alright, what’s wrong? I can tell something is bothering you”.
Daniel glances at him before running a hand through his hair, his other stuffed into his pants pocket, “Lance… there ain’t a great to say this-”.
Oh. On Shakespeare’s grave, that is an incredibly bad thing to hear Daniel say. No one, especially Daniel, says that there isn’t a great way to say something unless the something is either very bad, very annoying, or very upsetting. Lancer’s silently hoping for the ‘very annoying’ option.
Daniel’s hand moves down to rub his neck, making Lancer feel more worried; hair fiddling plus neck rubbing plus Daniel was extremely ominous. Daniel continues speaking, “-see the thing is, right, it’s, ah- well there is problem, and the problem does involve the shield”.
Lancer is going to start sweating at this point, “Chicken Soup For The Soul, just tell me, Daniel. You’re going to give me a heart attack with all this beating around the bush. That is terrifying from you”. The last time Daniel had skirted around an issue and problem like this was when a, swear on his Anne Rice collection, full blown ghost invasion happened.
Daniel’s laugh is awkward and nervous, once again an ominous sign, how bad was this going to be? “Okay that’s fair, ha”, rubbing his neck some more before halting his steps and eyeing Lancer as he too stops, “look, it’s not the portal, Lance, it’s, uh, it’s you”.
Lancer blinks in a way he knows is a bit owlish, “I’m not sure I follow?”, how was it himself? He’s fairly certain he hadn’t had any recent run ins with ghosts or general ectoplasm? And thanks to his insomnia he knows there was no ghosts being thrown through his bedroom walls without his awareness. So his ecto-contamination shouldn’t be noticeably any worse than it was on Friday?
Daniel makes a range of faces, confusion, sadness, worry, amusement, and absolute bafflement, “have you just, not looked in a mirror today? Have, Lance man, how have you not noticed? I-what”, turning away and almost wheeze laughing at the air, “what am I supposed to do with this?”.
Oh maybe near death experiences could have a more ghostly side effect in an ecto-contaminated town perhaps? And maybe he definitely should have thought about using some make-up, he must be bruised then. He puts a hand to his chest and sighs, “is my face just bruised up? I did get into a bit of an-”, and cuts himself off due to a bit of spastic full body twitch. It’s… he’s never felt anything like that before and he absolutely does not want to actually talk about the accident. Maybe he did have some shock? More trauma than he expected? Frowning, now he’s worrying himself.
Daniel looks back to him and winces, not in a confused or worried way but rather in a knowing way, “yeah um, don’t try talking about it, I don’t need to know the how. That’d be rude of me”, and sighs, looking up at the sky. Lancer is now more worried because Daniel did not care about ‘being rude’, Catcher In The Rye, the man made a point to be rude sometimes. Daniel doesn’t give him a chance to interrupt, “okay, so, you do not have bruising, yay?”, Daniel looks awkward even if he’s still looking up at the sky, “it’s more that, well, you’re, you know or not I suppose, glowing”.
What.
Lancer blinks harshly, shaking himself off a little from that spasm earlier before responding, “I’m… glowing?”. Lifting a hand and inspecting it, his hand looked normal to him?
Daniel laughs at the action and Lancers confusion almost fondly, then shaking his head and pulling out his phone, holding the turned off screen up to Lancer’s face.
In his reflection Lancer… is, in fact, glowing.
He’s actually glowing.
His eyes are a light baby blue.
Glowing baby blue.
Is… is that why the cabbie was staring?
What.
Daniel pockets his phone, grabs Lancer by the arm, and basically drags Lancer over to a bench to sit down. Lancer’s a little too confused and concerned to do anything, the reminder of Daniel’s odd strength is a bit of a distraction at least.
What does this mean?
Why is he glowing of all things?
How is he glowing?
He feels fine.
He does feel fine right?
His clothes fit him like normal.
The ground under his feet feels the same… or maybe does? Is he… lighter perhaps?
Oh.
Oh.
He’s… not breathing is he?
He’s not breathing.
He’s. Not. Breathing.
He is not breathing and Daniel’s just… sitting next to him… waiting?
Waiting… for him? To figure that out?
To figure out that he’s not breathing? That something is very wrong?
Why isn’t he-?
The accident.
The car crash.
Him getting thrown through a windshield.
Fahrenheit 451, he didn’t feel the windshield shatter because it didn’t.
The windshield didn’t pop out or shatter, but he still went through it.
He…
He died.
He died, didn’t he?
Death.
He only realizes absently that he’s shaking, that’s… understandable. He… Swallowing and moving to rest his elbows on his knees, folding his hands over his mouth and chin, “I’m… dead?”.
Daniel nods, Lancer doesn’t see it but he knows the man nodded anyways, “yeah. Yeah you are”.
The confirmation is a bit awful, actually. “That’s bad, isn’t it?”, and actually looks at Daniel.
Daniel shrugs, eyeing Lancer some back, “I guess that depends on what you’re gonna do about it? You’re here, not in the gz. You remember yourself, you life, teaching, all that”, Daniel gestures out to the town loosely, “and Amity does have enough free floating ecto to support the standard ghost”. Lancer swallows while Daniel gestures at him, “you’re human passing”, smiling in a way that’s definitely supposed to be reassuring, “technically, no one has to know, or no one else has to at least. De-glow spray is a real thing FentonWorks makes and it does actually work as intended. And you’re old enough you can just start wearing glasses all the time without people really questioning it; just with ecto-lenses in them”.
Lancer blinks, he- does he want that? He wants to teach, of course, teaching the young to appreciate the written world has always been his passion. “I… don’t know”.
Daniel nods like he expected that response, “well, you don’t have to make a choice really. Not immediately anyways. You could just pretend you’re not, you know, and just push the existential crisis off till later. I can easily get you de-glow and glasses before school actually starts. Maybe say I did something stupid again and blew up a few more microscopes, so I’m your assistant for the next while as punishment”.
Lancer’s not so mild freak out is being steamroll somewhat by the reminder that Daniel was disturbingly good at and quick on his feet about making excuses and spinning stories into believable lies. It’s a… skill, just a concerning one to have. “That’s- alright. Okay”.
Daniel nods readily, “well if you want my opinion, moving to the gz is a fucking stupid idea. You know that ghost are not inherently dangerous, or violent, or bad; like my folks claim. So I don’t need to tell you that me playing assistant is not me making sure you behave”, rolling a wrist, “more… actual assistance I guess. Guidance. Advice”, shrugging, “weird that that’s for another teacher instead of the kids this time, but eh”.
… Lancer stares at him a little, this was… way too normal of a reaction. Yes Lancer himself wasn’t having a… complete melt down, but that was supposed to be… normal… for ghosts. Ghosts liked being ghosts.
Shakespeare’s grave he’s a ghost now.
Which is, possibly, alright. Okay. A ‘he’ll get used to it’ situation rather than a genuine soul crushing tragedy.
He definitely can’t be leaving Amity to retire now though…
That was unfortunate.
Shaking his head, back to the point, Daniel was being too calm about this. Way too calm. Yes the man was familiar with this… this subject but still. “Daniel, you’re, awfully calm about this. All of it”. With helping. With having advice at the drop of a hat. With his favourite teacher being… dead.
Has this…
Has this happened before?
Daniel’s face actually manages to pale a little, giving Lancer an answer to a question he didn’t have to ask. This has happened before.
To who?
How’d they handle it?
Were they handling it at all? Or just ignoring it?
If literally anyone dies in Amity do they simply… become a ghost instantly?
Daniel sighs, shoulders straightening some. Lancer has a feeling he’s going to find out something that he’d rather not. He wants to know if this has happened to anyone else, but he doesn’t really want to know who. Daniel’s voice is calm, even, neutral. Speaking as he’s looking out at the town, “I suppose you’ll find out one way or another, ghosts are gossips”, Daniel eyes him, blue becoming green, “I’m not ecto-contaminated”.
Oh.
Daniel was… dead? That’s…
There’s no other world for it other than awful. Even if he doesn’t even have to ask if the man’s okay with it, Lancer knows he’d have to be with how he talks about ghosts and death, but that doesn’t make it less awful. Lancer stares at those green eyes for a beat before looking to the ground, rubbing his hands over his face tiredly, “how long?”. Even if it was okay to ask how he wouldn’t want to and not just because it would be unpleasant to know, it also feels… wrong somehow.
That’s probably a ghost feeling, isn’t it?
Daniel’s voice remains even, the question seemingly not bothering him, “my how and when is easy to figure out, so I mind being asked… less. Still mind it but I’m not going to assault someone over it. My, accident, was the talk of the whole school after all”.
Lancer grimaces, right, The Accident, with a capital A, if he wasn’t a bit… out of it then he would have put that together himself. “Apologies, you’re right, that… should have been obvious”.
Daniel shrugs, “that’s fine, you’re not exactly okay right now and just had some seriously fucking mind blowing news dropped on you”, then, of all things, he laughs, “though if you had just used a damn mirror this conversation would have happened a lot earlier”.
Lancer can respect the attempt to lighten the mood, even if it feels a little… insulting. “And I suppose I wouldn’t have confused the cabbie”.
“A cabbie actually drove you here? What the Zone is wrong with that cabbie?”, and barks out a laugh, “this town is crazy. Granted that’s kinda my fault but oh well”.
Lancer gave up trying to convince the man that it really wasn’t a long time ago, and looking Daniel over… he had milked that ‘ecto-contamination’ lie for all it was worth. Because, now that Lancer knew that was a lie, Daniel being… a ghost was obvious, wasn’t it? The pointed ears hidden barely by wild hair that’s a little too black. The fangs that were practically shown off when he laughed or smiled; which he did a lot. How pale his skin was, nearly seeming translucent under the right light. The sharp pointed nails that have caused an unfortunate amount of damages; his beaker dropping problem made a lot more sense now as well. Quoting Flannery O’Conner at the teen, “It does not take much to make us realize what fools we are, but the little it takes is long in coming”.
Daniel grins at him, “you and your book related quotes, man”.
Wait, was Lancer going to start dropping things to?
Shaking his head and taking a breath… or pretending to he supposes. He should try and figure all this out, he’s not sure he could actually handle it if he started… floating suddenly.
Being told he is and looks like a ghost is one thing. Suddenly floating or shooting out ecto-beams was another matter entirely, one he’s positive will give him a complete break down.
… He could see how this would be easier to deal with as a teen. Teens were adaptable, might find some aspects cool; Amity teens adjusted to ghosts far quicker than the adults after all.
Daniel’s starting to look a little concerned again, so Lancer pipes up, “am I going to have your beaker dropping problem?”.
Daniel scrunches up his entire face, “you will never let me live that down, will you”, grumbling incoherently to himself before addressing Lancer again, “no. Probably not”, squinting, “you feel like a normal ghost, so the abilities ghosts have shouldn’t act up out of your control on you”, running his neck, “I mean sure, you’re definitely going to doing things without noticing. That’s unavoidable. Things just come too naturally to ghost, you know?”, shrugs, “but, for me, my accident was aggressively unique and resulted in me very much so not being a normal ghost”, pouting a little, “hence all the poor poor beakers that no one will let me forget about”, pouting more, “and all the problems keeping my pants up, and most of the burnt homework, and my little bathroom problem-”
“This is why you go to the bathroom constantly?”. One of his biggest mysteries, solved. Lancer actually would rather not have that one solved, if being dead was the why.
Daniel rubs his neck while standing up, “yeah? Surprise I guess? You really don’t have worry about a similar issue though”, shrugging, “and I guess there’s some benefits, part of the reason all the ghost attacks don’t cause more damages, or Ancients forbid, deaths, is because I’m officially classified as an endangered species. Meaning genuinely endangering my existence is a crime”.
Lancer sighs into his hands before pushing himself to stand up as well, definitely noticing how much easier doing that was now. No knees aching, to spine cracking… no heavy drag from gravity. He does not like that he has to make a point to reassure himself that he is not floating. Eyeing Daniel , “that’s, a little concerning, Daniel, but I suppose I should be happy about you having specific protections”.
Daniel rolls his eyes, “yeah yeah yeah, doesn’t stop them from trying to ‘socialize’ with me by picking fights”, pointing at Lancer, “which, word to the wise, if some ghost tries to pick a fight just tell them no. Do not fight them, they take that as an invitation to keep doing it. No hitting them with fire extinguishers, or chairs, or tires, or baking trays, or that one time you somehow hit Skulker with The Box Ghost. At least off of school grounds anyways”.
Lancer frowns, “why is it okay on school grounds?”.
Daniel gestures for Lancer to follow him, resulting in them walking in the direction of the shields control panel, Daniel probably had a way to deal with it considering everything. Daniel talking as they go, “well you’re the vice principle, and as far as I’m aware the principle is not a ghost. Meaning you’re the senior one here, so here’s your territory. You’ll worry all the ghosts if you don’t smash Technus’s ass with a candle jar or something, when he inevitably starts crawling out of the speakers for world domination again. And then they’ll start babying you and you don’t want that, it is very annoying”.
Lancer feels a little confused, but well ghost behaviour often didn’t make sense… which was unfortunately ominous now. He does not want to lose the ability to relate to the staff and students… but… there’s nothing he can actually do about that.
Wait, if he remembers correctly, which he usually did remember his conversations with Daniel well since it encourage the boy-now-man so much, then ghosts only really ‘baby’, well, child ghosts. “Am I a child now”. What?
Daniel stops walking, bending over and puttimg his hands on his knees, wheeze laughing, “oh man! Ha! Yeah, yeah Lance you are”, standing up straight and snickering a little, “since you are, or were really, an adult before you won’t be a child ghost for long, so don’t beat yourself up about it too much”. Daniel is very clearly mocking him, Lancer’s willing to let it slide like usual.
At least once they get to the control panel all Daniel has to do to short it out long enough for both of them to get through, by shoving his hand intangibly through it. The man does it like it’s nothing, like it’s normal and not tied to an… untimely death. Which is oddly comforting, though Lancer seriously doubts he’ll ever be that okay with any part of his body going through something.
Daniel seems to agree with Lancer’s thoughts, “I guess I’ll be showing up at ass-o-clock all the time now, to let you in and everything”, shrugging, “eh sleeps for the weak and the living”.
Right.
The insomnia… which was not actually insomnia. He just… doesn’t need sleep anymore. That was going to take some time to get used to, but at least he’d have more time for grading and paperwork. Which might be quite nice actually. “You don’t mind?”.
Danny shakes his head as Lancer unlocks the school, “naw. Intangibility is stupidly unsettling in the beginning, not gonna expect anyone who actually remembers being alive to just up and start using it willy nilly. Plus you don’t know what wires to intangibly disconnect without even looking at, unlike me”.
Lancer gives him a bit of a glare for the blatant bragging, even if he does agree that he does not want to be using that ability himself, ever maybe.
Once they get to Daniel’s staff locker, which Lancer is guessing has stuff to help him not obviously be… a ghost, the man shoves his hand through the door instead of opening it; and pulls out a can, a box of lozenges labeled ‘echo soothers’, and, yes, some glasses. Daniel offering them over, “the de-glow works just like bug spray, smells like cotton candy for some reason though. And glasses are glasses, I don’t need to explain that. The cough drop looking mother fuckers will get rid of that whole echoing voice issue, even if yours is barely noticeable at all”.
Lancer eyes the items a bit before taking them, “I guess it makes sense you’d have this on school grounds”.
Daniel blinks before smacking his forehead, “oh no, I don’t have to use this stuff normally, it’s more in case my typical bad luck strikes and I need it suddenly”, rubbing his neck, “one of my unique species abilities is the ability to look human via shapeshifting. I’d need a lot more than just that to look human passing otherwise”, gesturing to his ears with his pointed nails and grinning enough to show fang, “obviously it’s not perfect but eh. At least my skins not teal this way, that would be a pain”.
Lancer’s a bit jealous honestly, however strange or not using a ghost ability like that would be he’d still be using that one. Lancer sprays the can on his hand a little experimentally, oh okay he hadn’t realized his skin was tingling until it stopped tingling. Odd. Well… at least the tingle wasn’t noticeable enough to wind up being distracting.
Daniel eyes Lancer’s hand and nods with a smile, “it’s working”, looking to Lancer’s face, “the tingle that you absolutely hadn’t noticed earlier gone now?”.
Daniel was so used to this that Lancer’s honestly a bit in awe. His former student was effectively becoming his teacher now. Strange but something of a nice comfort actually. Lancer nods and at Daniel’s ‘well go on’ gesture sprays himself entirely and puts on the glasses.
Daniel nods more so to himself, “yup, works. Figured. Congrats on being human-passing”, and gives Lancer a silly little thumbs up.
Lancer nods back, he would definitely be upset if he had to skip teaching because of this. So maybe Daniel’s suggestion to just go about his, well, ‘life’ as it were, as if nothings really changed was what he actually should do. Though, “my appearance is still going to change though, correct? Over time?”.
Daniel grins wide and points at his teeth, “oh definitely, I’d say sorry but that won’t change shit. All adults have fangs and claws; most have the ear points too. You might get lucky and that’ll be it and it’ll all be small, or your skin could change colours or you could develop something unique to you. Like Ember and The Lunch Lady have their fire hair, and Technus doesn’t have legs at all-”.
That would be extremely unfortunate. Lancer’s not sure he could even deal with that, part of his body being on fire or not having legs or growing another limb perhaps.
Daniel puts his hands together and gestures with them, “-but I highly doubt that, unique looks are usually tied to, well, the how of death. Like, my upper left side, arm included, is more electricity than physical matter. The permanent bed head’s also a unique trait, not just me being lazy”.
“Do you at least still brush it”. Lancer’s a little… disturbed by part of his former students body being electricity…
Daniel rolls his eyes before flopping down on the lounge room couch, “of course not, why the fuck would I do that? It wouldn’t do me anything”.
“Language”.
That just makes Daniel smirk, “glad to hear you’re doing better”, blinking and going a little wide-eyed before digging into his pockets, “oh! Right!”, pulling out two pods of death wish coffee, “I brought coffee, want one?”, and gets back up to turn on the coffee machine.
Lancer sighs, “regardless of the fact that the school, and principal, is too cheap to supply us with free coffee pods, no. I know you and I know that is far too caffeinated”.
Daniel laughs as the old machine sputters to life, “what’s the worst that’s gonna do? Kill us?”.
Oh F.Scott Fitzgerald, the morbid jokes make an unfortunate amount of sense now. Lancer also is slightly disturbed that Daniel actually has a point with that comment/joke.
Daniel waves Lancer off without looking at him, “besides, ghosts are made out of and need energy, caffeine is energy. There’s no such thing as too much. Ancients, the more the better really”.
Again, Lancer doesn’t like that Daniel has a very good point. “I think I’ll still have to decline, Daniel”.
“Eh, your loss”. The man taking a sip of the extremely hot liquid that closer resembles molasses than coffee, “delicious”, turning to Lancer, “so, I’m assume we’re are actually going with the ‘I’m your assistant as punishment’ thing? Because frankly if you do start doing something explicitly ghostly I’ll probably notice before you will. And since I am very firmly stronger than you and you are baby, I can easily just exert my own pressure enough on you to make your body cut it out”.
Lancer’s… not too sure how to feel about that statement. Part of him seems to actively dislike the entire notion, but it’s… better than him suddenly floating in class. Gravity nullification was the most basic feature of ectoplasm and thusly ghosts, so there’s no way he can’t do that… as unpleasant as that thought was. “And you can… do that easily?”. Okay, yes, that is indeed disturbing.
Daniel’s chuckle is mean. Intentionally mean, “one thing about my species is we’re abnormally powerful and don’t have to expend our ecto on sustaining our form, so yes. Yes I can”.
Considering the fact that part of why ghosts were very specifically Amity’s problem was because ghosts couldn’t be in the living world outside of Amity for too long, as they would run out of ecto-energy to maintain their form. If Daniel’s… species didn’t have that problem then that would make them incredibly dangerous. “It’s… probably for the best you’re rare, then”.
“No shit. Oh and since you’ll find out via gossip any way, and since he really can’t give me shit these days, the mayor? Yeah dead as a doornail too”.
Lancer sighs into his hand, “Wuthering Heights, that… that explains a lot actually”. Lancer always thought the mayor looked and acted rather strange, and not in a positive way. Also explained why such a rich man became the mayor of a random small town… and how.
“I know right? He’s the same as me though, so don’t go comparing yourself to him at all. Also he is stronger than you so don’t be stupid please”, glancing to the clock, “well it looks like everyone else is probably gonna be here soon”.
Lancer glancing to the clock too, “right. How long does the, de-glow, last?”. The mayor being stronger than him is needlessly unsettling, more than it should be he thinks? Or not?
Right. Ghosts normally get unsettled by stronger… ones.
Especially because Mayor Masters is definitely the type to causally beat a teacher up…
… Alright okay, he’s going to be avoiding the mayor to the best of his capabilities in the future. He already disliked the man so he’s not bothered by staying away from him.
“Twelve fucking hours, great longevity, I know. So what we doing first? Because I absolutely do not have your schedule memorised”, downing some of his ‘drink’ and pointing at Lancer, “don’t even try to claim that surprises you”, putting the hand down onto his hip, “also, if Mayor Bastard decides to bother you, just tell me and I’ll tell him to fuck off. Regardless of us being antagonistic and constantly threatening and messing with each other, we are actually vaguely friends. Frienemies, with a mild familial relationship perhaps. He’ll listen, or I’ll just make him if he doesn’t”.
Lancer sighs at the man, “I’d tell you not to be so hostile to the mayor, like I always do, and that you’re encouraging his behaviour in return. But if you’re both, ghosts, then I suppose it’s only natural”. Those two tended to behave like it was physically impossible for them to be genuinely nice or kind to each other. Every word, look, or action was either snide, insulting, or down right murderous; also strangely fond most of the time. He often chose not to question it, outside of finding it concerning that he never heard that same undertone of fondness towards Daniel’s own parents. “And I’ll be substituting for Joshep’s chemistry class first, then I’ve got simple desk work, then I suppose I’ll be ‘sitting in’ on your ecto-ology class, then lunch of course. Everything after that is just more office paper work till my English class”.
Danny nods and follows after Lancer as they leave the lounge, “cool, cool. I will not remember any of that”.
Lancer sighs, unsurprised but still, turning and waving at Penelope as she comes in through the doors, “morning, Penelope”.
She nods respectfully, “morning, William, Danny”.
Daniel flips her off.
Very professional.
At least he knows she won’t complain but Lancer still glares at Danny, “language”.
Daniel pouts at him, “boo. Let me have my fun”.
Though in truth he’s happy Penelope doesn’t have any… abnormal reactions to him. This whole situation, him being a ghost, was going to be rather nerve wracking for a while. Making him fret and worry over others possibly noticing he’s changed, or over his body doing things he’d rather it not do at all, or over himself changing especially without him realizing it, or even over ghosts treating him different.
“Don’t worry too much about people noticing now, you’d be surprised how little people notice. Heck, I walk through trash cans in public and telekinetically untie people’s shoes, no one notices shit”.
Lancer jerks, startled, “you’re still going to manage to startle me all the time, aren’t you?”. Weren’t ghosts supposed to be able to pick up on each other and tell when others were going to do things? “Also please refrain from doing that stuff, at least on school property”. Though yes, he was worrying about that and yes, he’s aware that people can be rather oblivious. Even he himself, apparently; since he never noticed Daniel’s apparent death.
Daniel laughs, “no. It makes the kids laugh and makes the bullies think they’re all cursed, as they should feel they are”, shrugging as they get to Joshep’s classroom, “and yes, I will keep startling you. I am actively more unnerving and startling to ghosts, since I can hide my ecto-signature as easily as I can disguise myself. Which makes me all that more of a threat, since ghosts instinctively rely on that sense so a spooky that can sidestep it is inherently unsettling”.
Lancer actively frowns at that as he rearranges Joshep’s desk enough to be personally usable, that man never kept things tidy enough. Joshep was better than Daniel though, regardless of how little that actually meant. Daniel’s classroom was a bio-ecto-hazard.
Which might not be a problem for Lancer now… meaning he can forcibly clean the man’s space without Daniel having a reasonable excuse as to why Lancer could not do so due to all the excessive ecto-contamination.
A little positive, he supposes.
Watching as Daniel flops down lazily in the designated assistants chair, yawning tiredly. The yawn doesn’t seem faked, leaving Lancer wondering just how good at faking human Daniel was. Raising an eyebrow, “are you actually tired or keeping up an act?”. Lancer certainly didn’t feel tired, even if he should… if he wasn’t…dead.
Daniel rubs his neck awkwardly, “ah yeah, it’s another species thing. I get energy from sleep, so I still need it. Same with food and water”.
Lancer’s brow furrows, it was almost like he was actually still human, or rather still an alive human. That entire notion fills him with a mix of both jealousy and pity. That would be terribly confusing but… still being alive would be…
Hmm.
Alright, it seems that this is the whole ‘okay with being a ghost’ feeling. Strange. He’s not sure if it’s a good or bad… feeling.
Susan sticking her head in stops him from questioning Daniel further, “there you are, I only have thirty-two spare pencils instead of thirty-six”, her noticing Daniel and smiling in that insulting way she often does, “oh someone’s on assistant duty again, so how about you get me some pencils?”.
It takes more effort than normal not to frown or sigh at the woman. Right, ghosts responded emotionally more so than humans did. Another adjustment he’ll have to deal with.
Daniel rolls his eyes, “oh eat my socks, Susan”, he does get up anyways though, eyeing Lancer who waves him off; surely Daniel can grab pencils before any students began to show up.
So Daniel leaves, downing the rest of his ‘coffee’ in one go and tossing the cup,
Now he’s alone with his own thoughts for the first time since finding out that he died yesterday.
It’s a good thing he didn’t stop to actually talk to that truck driver, the poor old man would have had an actual heart attack. As it is the driver would have to live with killing someone.
Did-
Did he leave a… body behind?
Interview With A Vampire, he’s going to have to check for that, isn’t he?
He really does not want to do that, or see that.
What if… that needs to be buried? A… funeral? Grave?
Leaning his head down and massaging his temples, this is all a little much. He can’t even tell if he actually does or doesn’t want those things. The… funeral and grave. Laid to rest.
For Shakespeare’s shake he was still here! And all of… that would eliminate any possibility of keeping this to mostly himself.
What did Daniel do? That’s certainly unkind to ask.
But the thought of not having that, of the idea of his… body being left out in some compacted heap, is deeply disturbing. He’s sure Phantom has gone on record saying something about ghosts and burials, of being respected, of not being… physically disturbed. So this disturbed feeling is likely natural, and understandable he supposes.
He’d be disturbed even without this odd instinct towards disturbia.
Lesia comes in before Daniel gets back, “oh, subbing for Mr. CampBell, Mr. Lancer?”, and sits in her assigned seat.
He makes a point to look up and smile at her, regardless of his current unsettlement, “indeed, Ms. Lute, he had an, unfortunate, interact with a sentient ghost plant”.
She cringes, whispering, “get wrecked, I guess”, before actually responding in proper to Lancer, “sorry to hear that”.
Lancer’s hearing has definitely improved, he can’t honestly see a negative to that. “And I’m sure he’d appreciate your sympathies”.
Thankfully Daniel comes back in, looking at Lesia and pouting, “oh how dare you get here before I got back, my luck belong’s in P̸͇̓a̶͉̕r̴̹̐i̴͚̅a̷̭̽h̸̙͘’̴͚̏s̵̼͛ ̷͈̉a̸̜̒s̵̩̚s̷̥̔”.
While Lancer’s a little stunned by being able to understand that from the inside? of himself? Lesia purses her lips together and is clearly trying not to laugh, “in trouble again”.
Daniel shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he meanders over to the assistants chair, “eh, you set one too many things on fire, and those things just happen to be thousand dollar microscopes, and suddenly everyone’s out to beat the s̴͚̿h̸̗̾i̶̹̇t̵̖͗ outta you”.
Lancer makes a point to sigh tiredly at the man, who winks smugly back. But regardless Lancer has to push his worries and crises to the back as more students begin filing in, school has begun.
At lunch Daniel had made a point to tell Lancer, in ghost speak -which was still rather strange to understand so easily now. Instantaneous language retention was a wonder-, that Daniel could apparently duplicate -which solved a few odd stories he’s heard- and had one such duplicate go and check the… morgue and around town for any signs of.. of Lancer’s remains.
Nothing.
There was nothing.
Lancer’s not sure if that was… good or bad. If he was relieved or not.
Daniel’s theory, which was slightly disturbing but probably for the best to be true, was that the ecto-contamination in him consumed or broke down his… body in an instant so as to have the needed energy to instantly create his ‘new’ ghostly one.
On one hand this meant he didn’t need to fret about someone finding or touch his body. On the other hand any sort of funereal or burial could never happen, whether it was wanted or not; it somewhat rather was, if he was being honest with himself.
Daniel’s response had been to just consider his body having been effectively buried within the ether of the Zone, ‘like mine!’ he’d said, with cheer.
Apparently the man’s young body had been completely disintegrated in his own ‘accident’. Which was extremely disturbing and saddening.
Daniel said not to let himself be bothered by that, as if that would make it so that Lancer wouldn’t mourn the fact.
Lancer hadn’t even had time to mourn himself.
Should he… make a shrine perhaps? Or just have his favourite diner regardless of not ‘needing’ it now? Should it be a big deal or just causal?
He really didn’t know.
Before Lancer had gone home for the day Daniel had made sure he knew he could call whenever, and while Daniel might sleep it was a lot less and he didn’t mind interruptions.
Lancer… did somewhat want to take him up on the offer. To call and ask how he was actually supposed to deal with this. Beyond whether he wanted to ‘play human’ and keep his ‘life’ how it was, or not.
There was neither research to find nor books to read on the subject, on how ghosts mourned themselves and dealt with death, at least there were none that weren’t extremely biased and ecto-phobic.
How did Daniel put up with hearing this sort of cruelty from his parents all the time? He’d wondered that before he knew of Daniel’s ghost status and he only wonders about that more after.
At least the only report on ‘his accident’ he could find was about the ‘mysteriously vacant car’ and how it ‘being empty’ was ‘strange but welcome luck’.
That… made him want to cry, or be sick, a little bit.
No one noticed
No one noticed his death.
That was… awful. Sad. Painful.
But it was also rather the point, wasn’t it?
No one noticed Daniel’s either, not in any real way.
He wheezes breathlessly a little and massages the… strange spot of feeling in his chest.
Alright. Okay.
He should call Daniel.
Moving enough to pick up the phone, making sure not to knock over his tea.
Daniel responds instantly… he must have been waiting for a call. “Was wondering when you’d call. You good? Not too much existential horror?”.
Dr. Seuss, the understanding in that tone hurt and comforted more than he’d like. “I’m not sure, but I definitely need to talk about anything”.
Daniel laughs a little, but it’s not a happy thing in the slightest, “yeah I get that. Dying’s easy, but deaths a bit of a bitch. I saw the news report, by the way, and I know you looked for it even if you really shouldn’t have. Focusing on reactions or what happened is a really bad thing to do. People will let you down and you will spiral about the how and when and why. So don’t. Let the shit you enjoy distract you to your cores content, that’s kinda the whole point of being dead anyways. Obsessions and all that. Find all those things you love and the thing yourself screams and cries for, and do ‘em. Go from one to another and circle back again, keep the circling going and you’ll be cool; you won’t spiral. And there’s absolutely a difference between the two”.
“Have… you? Spiralled?”.
“… of course, I never had help or guidance. Another spook to turn to, until it was kinda too late. But hey, things got undone and made alright, so it is what it is. I’m alright, I’m good enough to keep on keeping on”.
“That’s, not as pacifying as I think you mean it to be”.
“Course not, you should know by now that there really isn’t any sugarcoating me and my everything. Life, and death, gave me a right shit hand. But this call ain’t really supposed to be about my dumbass, Lance”.
Lancer smiles ruefully a little at that, “well talking about you, my favourite problem ex-student, is as good as any distraction from everything, from no one really… noticing”.
Daniel laughs again, “you’re not wrong. But you should focus on yourself some, we’re egocentric things. And I’m not going to say something like ‘but I thought that’s what you wanted’ because I know that’s both true and painfully not. I’ve broken a lot of shit over that same train of thought, especially since Sam and Tuck… never really mourned any part of this. But if you want Jazz’s opinion? Write. Write shit down. Which with you being all book-loving might work out better. Make a poem or something. I tried the journaling thing once and wound up just taking a bite out of it and setting it on fire”.
That… wasn’t a horrible idea. “I’d say that’s concerning but I know that you have some trouble with your anger”.
“I’m well aware and doing precisely nothing about it…”.
They spend more than half an hour half-heartedly bickering about Daniel’s poor anger-management issues, neither have anything in the argument but it was still grounding.
And if maybe Lancer started floating a bit and didn’t notice, then maybe that’s okay. He… was less bothered than he’d thought he’d be when he realised what he was doing.
Daniel congratulated him in earnest and then word vomited -as the man would say- about the stars and that time he went to space.
It was good.
It was nice.
Daniel, like always, was too kind. Even the students saw that.
It made him sad but it made him better too.
Like being reminded how it feels to be warm by someone or something too cold to feel it at all.
Death ain’t no big deal in comparison.
End.
prompts:
Above all else, Danny became a high school teacher to help students: he wants to help the victims of bullying, the near-dropouts, the kids who need to use school as an escape from home. He sees himself in all of them, and tries to be the adult he needed at their age. He also became a teacher because, as it turns out, teachers have a WAY easier time getting away with sudden bathroom breaks (which may or may not coincide with ghost attacks and subsequent Phantom sightings) than students do. "Ah yes, because going in circles and spiraling are very different directions." More of Danny's ghost side starts to show in his human form making it harder to hide the truth "What do you mean this isn't safe, I'm already dead" Becoming more ghostly Fangs On Sunday, Lancer was thrown through his windshield in a nasty car accident. Miraculously he walked away without a scratch. On Monday, he had a hard time getting through the school ghost shield on his way to class.
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Nerd banter with Tails yea!! I wanted to articulate this for the longest time- basically, up until.the introduction of Nine the only person Tails could've bud heads with regarding smart guy stuff and technology was Eggman, which aside from it being a grown ass adult beefing with a literal baby it's also ussually tied to a tiresome mission to save the world and twart the doctor's plans where Tails just rubs the always repeated failiture in
With Nine tho, not only is this the first time both of them can go full nerd mode and communicate without the need to simplify anything, they can also attempt to one up each other and sabotage and give a hint or a pitch for improvement with no actual stakes involved. (Also first time Nine's intellect was trully challenged, scary!!)
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Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.
Fyodor Dostoevsky
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u5an5 · 4 months
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A: Can you tell me what’s written on this paper? B: Uh... It’s a guy. A: No, see... that’s the picture. I asked you SPECIFICALLY to tell me what was written on it. B: I don’t speak corn. ... A: Oh, so now you're a funny guy, huh?
⁽ᵖⁱᶜᵗᵘʳᵉ ⁱⁿ ᑫᵘᵉˢᵗⁱᵒⁿ⁾
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nikolasongsa · 1 year
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The Christian idea of God—God as a god of the sick, God as spider, God as spirit—is one of the most corrupt conceptions of God the world has ever seen; this may even represent a new low in the declining development of the types of god.
God having degenerated into a contradiction of life instead of its transfiguration and eternal yes! God as declared aversion to life, to nature, to the will to life! God as the formula for every slander against ‘the here and now’, for every lie about the ‘beyond’!
(the ‘beyond’ refers to the lie about the post-mortem survival of the human soul):
-Friedrich Nietzsche, The Antichrist
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cheolcam · 6 months
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...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...winter e taemin...
estou olhando respeitosamente...
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gopsnippers · 9 months
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sequel to my other post. dont let sun listen to the vinyl for extended periods of time pls 🙏
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(id in alt)
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