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tiramisiyu · 3 years

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Tears of Themis: Lu Jinghe’s Birthday - NPC Interviews Part 1

Translation Masterlist

Event Story: 6.13 Decision to Compete | 6.15 Personal Instruction | 6.17 Building Block Dolls | 6.19 Participating in the Competition | 6.21 Birthday Celebration

Event Story Interviews: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Interview 1 – Employed Woman

MC: Hello, I would like to interview the participants of the building blocks competition and contacted you regarding this previously. Is this a convenient time for you?

Employed Woman: It is, I’m on lunch break right now. It would be great if it were quick.

MC: Then let’s start.

START QUESTIONING

⊳ Reason for competing

MC: May I ask, why are you participating in this building blocks competition?

Employed Woman: Building blocks is my hobby outside of work, and I just casually signed up when I saw news about the competition. There’s no special reasoning.

⊳ Competition Theme

MC: Do you have any thoughts regarding the theme of this competition, “A Reconstruction of World-Famous Artworks”?

Employed Woman: I’m quite interested, and this theme also has somewhat of a relation to my work.

MC: Your work is…?

Employed Woman: I am an auction appraiser and focus on artwork appraisals, particularly oil paintings.

⊳ World-Famous Artworks

MC: If so, you must know a lot about world-famous paintings, right?

Employed Woman: Yes. To me, there is life in each painting, and they each record individual, different stories – for example, Hogarth’s “Marriage A-la-Mode” series, which uses six thematically linked paintings to depict the tragic arranged marriage between one from an impoverished noble family and a merchant’s daughter.

MC: Thematically linked paintings? Like a manga arrangement?

Employed Woman: Yes. Hogarth was one of the first artists to do linked drawings, and was known as a pioneer of linked drawings.

⊳ “Z”

MC: Do you know of “Z”?

Employed Woman: Of course I do. “Z” is the most popular painter in our auction house, and each painting goes for a high price. He adopted Rembrandt’s art style, is skilled in portrait arts, and is known as the “Little Rembrandt” in the art world. It’s a pity that he hasn’t come out with any new works for a long while. Who knows if something happened to him…

⊳ Things she wants to say to “Z”

MC: If you had the chance to speak with “Z”, what would you say?

Employed Woman: I would want to ask about “Z”’s true identity. He’s so mysterious and has such artistic talent – maybe he’s the descendant of some ancient noble family. That’s how it always goes in the novels – running into a mysterious man by chance and setting off a beautiful romance…

MC: Uh…

END QUESTIONING

MC: That ends today’s interview. Thank you for your cooperation.

Employed Woman: No problem, goodbye.

MC: Goodbye!

Interview 2 – Gong Yuze

Gong Yuze: Miss Lawyer, hello.

MC: Gong Yuze? Are you also participating in the building blocks competition?

Gong Yuze: Yes, I just happened to have time these days.

MC: I’d like to interview the participants of the building blocks competition. Do you have time?

Gong Yuze: Of course.

START QUESTIONING

⊳ Reason for participating

MC: Gong Yuze, why are you participating in this building blocks competition?

Gong Yuze: Because Qiaoqiao’s gotten into building blocks recently. Whenever she starts fiddling with the building blocks, she’ll become very quiet. I wanted to try competing to maybe get a prize for Qiaoqiao, since it’s a limited-edition set, one of a kind in the world.

MC: (So that’s why…)

⊳ Competition Theme

MC: Do you have any thoughts regarding the theme of this competition, “A Reconstruction of World-Famous Artworks”?

Gong Yuze: I haven’t tried making similar building blocks works before, so I’ve got to hurry and practice.

⊳ World-Famous Paintings

MC: What do you know about world-famous paintings?

Gong Yuze: I like Millais’ “Ophelia” a lot – I saw it in an art collection before, and it left a deep impression on me. Innocent Ophelia floating in the water, looking like a mermaid singing, having finally shaken off this tragic world. Millais displayed the classic scene from “Hamlet” in vivid detail.

⊳ “Z”

MC: Do you know of “Z”?

Gong Yuze: I do, it’s that famous painter. Each one of his paintings get auctioned for sky-high prices. I once went to one of those auctions, and I still remember seeing everyone vying to bid as if it happened yesterday. I remember that the painting ended up… getting bought by a top figure in the business world.

⊳ Things he wants to say to “Z”

MC: If you had the chance to speak with “Z”, what would you say?

Gong Yuze: “Z” hasn’t come out with new works for a long time. Some say that this indicates that he will be resigning from the painting world. I hope that, no matter what decision he makes, he can follow his own heart.

END QUESTIONING

MC: Okay, that’s it for the interview. Thank you for your cooperation.

Gong Yuze: No problem. I’ll head home now; Qiaoqiao’s waiting for me.

MC: Okay! Say hi to Qiaoqiao for me.

Interview 3 – Young Livestreamer

MC: Hello, I would like to interview the participants of the building blocks competition. I contacted you regarding this previously. Is this a convenient time for you?

Young Livestreamer: I remember. Hurry and start – I’ve got to rush back and livestream in a moment.

MC: Livestream?

Young Livestreamer: Yes, I’m a building blocks livestreamer.

MC: I see.

START QUESTIONING

⊳ Reason for participating

MC: May I ask, why are you participating in this building blocks competition?

Young Livestreamer: My fans asked me to. They said that I was so good at building blocks that it would be a pity if I didn’t participate.

⊳ Competition Theme

MC: Do you have any thoughts regarding the theme of this competition, “A Reconstruction of World-Famous Artworks”?

Young Livestreamer: I’m sure that no matter what the theme is, I’ll be able to nab a prize. I’m confident about it.

⊳ “Z”

MC: Do you know of “Z”?

Young Livestreamer: “Z”? Is he a popular livestreamer these days? I don’t think I’ve seen this name on the ranking boards.

MC: He’s an artist…

Young Livestreamer: I see.

⊳ Things he wants to say to “Z”

MC: If you had the chance to speak with “Z”, what would you say?

Young Livestreamer: No matter what profession it is, it must have taken significant effort to earn his accomplishments. I’ve been livestreaming for over three years, and I’ve never stopped streaming once. I’m sure that “Z” is just like me, someone who perseveres.

⊳ Building Blocks Livestreaming

MC: What do you usually livestream about?

Young Livestreamer: Lots of things, such as making building blocks models, holding timed competitions with other livestreamers, and so on. Although, my fans enjoy seeing me reconstruct portraits with building blocks the most. As long as I have a photo, there’s nothing I can’t reconstruct.

MC: It sounds very impressive.

END QUESTIONING

MC: That ends today’s interview. Thank you for your cooperation.

Young Livestreamer: No problem. Young miss, remember to check out my livestream site – I start livestreaming each night, right at 7pm.

MC: S-sure.

Interview 4 – Pirate Actor

MC: Is that young man acting as a pirate?

START INSPECTION

⊳ Eyepatch

MC: (He’s even wearing an eyepatch. How dedicated!)

⊳ Compass

MC: (Is that a compass hanging in front of his chest? It’s made very exquisitely. It’s so golden and shiny – looks very expensive.)

MC: (Turns out that this Mister Pirate is also a participant in the building blocks competition. I should hurry and interview him.)

END INSPECTION

MC: Hello, I would like to interview the participants of the building blocks competition and contacted you regarding this previously. Are you dressed as… a pirate?

Pirate Actor: That’s right, I just finished acting in a cultural festival drama and didn’t have time to change yet. Let’s start.

START QUESTIONING

⊳ Reason for competing

MC: May I ask, why are you participating in this building blocks competition?

Pirate Actor: To experience a role. I’m an actor in the city drama troupe. Our next drama is based on Austin, the father of building blocks, and it depicts the story of a genius young man who invented the building blocks. I’ve never dealt with building blocks before, so I wanted to take this chance to experience the feeling in the competition, to prepare by putting myself into the character.

MC: Are you playing the male lead?

Pirate Actor: I’m just a candidate. There’s another competitor aside from me, so I’ve got to try even harder.

⊳ Competition Theme

MC: Do you have any thoughts regarding the theme of this competition, “A Reconstruction of World-Famous Artworks”?

Pirate Actor: I was about to head to the bookstore and buy some related books to do research and prepare for the competition.

⊳ World-Famous Artworks

MC: What do you know about world-famous paintings?

Pirate Actor: I actually… don’t know much about famous paintings. Acting is where my specialty lies.

⊳ “Z”

MC: Do you know of “Z”?

Pirate Actor: That artist? I know him. Lots of my friends are his fans, including me myself. As Z’s never revealed his identity publicly, everyone has varied opinions on where he comes from. Some say that he doesn’t care for fame and fortune; some say that he’s causing hype on purpose. But I feel that, regardless if he makes his identity public, he’s the most popular artist right now.

⊳ Things he wants to say to “Z”

MC: If you had the chance to speak with “Z”, what would you say?

Pirate Actor: I hope that he can focus on art without being affected by the world outside. To an artist, refining one’s works is the most important, as is for an actor.

END QUESTIONING

MC: That ends today’s interview. Thank you for your cooperation.

Pirate Actor: No problem. When the play goes public, do remember to come see it, miss.

MC: I will!

Interview 5 - Photographer

MC: This young man’s holding a camera?

START INSPECTION

⊳ Camera

MC: (The camera he’s holding is the newest edition from Pax. Is he a photographer?)

⊳ Hair

MC: (His hair has highlights – it looks really fashionable… He’s probably someone working in an artistic field.)

MC: (He’s also a participant in the building blocks competition. I should hurry and interview him.)

END INSPECTION

MC: Hello, I would like to interview the participants of the building blocks competition, and contacted you regarding this previously. Is this a convenient time for you?

Photographer: Yes, feel free to ask.

START QUESTIONING

⊳ Reason for competing

MC: May I ask, why are you participating in this building blocks competition?

Photographer: Because of my hobby. I’m a photographer for building blocks.

MC: A photographer for building blocks?

Photographer: Yes. I use building blocks as materials to take some creative photos. For example, using building blocks to make miniature sceneries, then using the camera to record them to depict different stories.

MC: How interesting. This is the first time I’ve heard of this profession!

⊳ Competition Theme

MC: Do you have any thoughts regarding the theme of this competition, “A Reconstruction of World-Famous Artworks”?

Photographer: I like this theme a lot. I believe that famous works should not disappear with the passing of time. They can reappear in life using different methods.

⊳ World-Famous Artworks

MC: What do you know of world-famous artworks?

Photographer: I actually prefer photos over artworks.

MC: Why?

Photographer: Compared to artworks that include subjective elements, only photos can display a situation most objectively.

MC: (Sure enough, he’s got a very different point of view…)

⊳ “Z”

MC: Do you know of “Z”?

Photographer: I do. He’s an artist that I’ve paid quite some attention to for these past few years. Apparently, he’s going to be an evaluator for this competition. If that’s true, it would be great – “Z” has never shown himself publicly. I’m really looking forward to meeting him.

⊳ Things he wants to say to “Z”

MC: If you met “Z”, is there anything you want to say to him?

Photographer: Actually… I recently heard some rumours that “Z” might have given up on art. Though I don’t know why, I hope he won’t give it up. With his talent, persisting on the road of art will definitely lead him to become an amazing art master.

END QUESTIONING

MC: That ends today’s interview. Thank you for taking the time to be interviewed.

Photographer: No problem, see you around.

MC: See you around!

#Tears of Themis #tears of themis translations #lu jinghe #tot translation

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fatal-error-blog · 4 years

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INDY POP CON @ HOME - Sunday Stream Starting!

Good morning folks, it’s the last day of Indy Pop at Home!! I’m opening up my ‘table’ and I’m about to start streaming for the day (apologies for the late start, I slept in a bit by accident haha). Here’s a reminder of today’s schedule:

10 AM - 5 PM EST - Livestreaming/Working from my ‘Table’!

- 10 AM - 12 PM: Working on graphic novel prep

- 12 PM - 1:30 PM: I’ll take art requests! I’d like to get as many requests done as possible, so please come with a reference ready. I’ll try to get to everyone who has a request, but if there’s a lot of people with requests I’ll pick at random

- 1:30 PM - 2:30 PM: Undertale Fusion Game! It’s happening again today since it was so much fun yesterday! Here’s how I’m envisioning it’ll work - throw a couple of UT (and AU) characters/concepts into a random generator, have it toss two back out at me, and then I draw whatever the fusion of the two would be. Never tried it before, but it sounds like fun!

- 2:30 PM - 5 PM: Finishing up the day working on whatever I need to work on. Might be comics, stuff for my shop, UT themed art, whatever I’m feeling up to

Today is also the last day of the 20% discount thing in my shop, so if you’ve always wanted to snag something for a good deal it’s a good day to do it! I will be keeping a couple of the sale items on sale for a while longer though :)

Feel free to come by and chat or hang out for as long or as little as you like!

Link to stream: https://www.twitch.tv/xedramonn

Link to Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/PotatoArtsByXedra

#xedra stream #indypopcon 2020 #AT HOME!#lets have a productive day!

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rayatii · 3 years

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A (somehow both very biased and not very opinionated) review of the Met orchestra musicians concert “Song to the Moon” from February 21, 2021:

I had been bothering my Tumblr followers with my excitement over this event yesterday, so it felt only right for me to stop procrastinating and give an attempt for a review of the whole thing; I think this is actually my first time writing a lengthy review ever, and it will probably sound naïve and be an embarrassment for me in the future.

It started around 10 PM where I live. I sat in my bed with my computer while eating chocolate in order to stay awake throughout the whole thing, and trying not to spill any pieces on the sheets, excitedly waiting for this event, having actually bought myself a fifteen-buck ticket about three weeks prior with my parents’ credit card (they didn’t bat an eye when I asked their permission), happily knowing that the money was not going to end up in the pockets of the undeserving Met management.

Given the shitty Lebanese Wi-Fi and the fact that this was a livestream, I had been worried that I might miss significant chunks and get upset over the fact. The stream did glitch a few times for me during the first number (mainly because I had my computer on my constantly-moving knees, before settling it down next to me on the bed), but otherwise it never failed me.

But let’s get on with the review. The livestream began with a title card representing an animation of a lunar eclipse, displaying the title “Song to the Moon”. The concert started with a performance of Antonín Dvořák’s String Quintet No. 2 in G Major, Op. 77 by members of the Met orchestra. (actually, given that this is a Met musicians concert, I feel that they ought to be rightfully credited; Nancy Wu, 1st violin [for this piece], Bruno Eicher, 2nd violin [for this piece], Désirée Elsevier, viola, Kari Jane Docter, cello, and Leigh Mesh, double bass.)

I actually listened to a recording of this piece in preparation a few days prior, just so you guys know. Obviously, there were a few slightly flat notes that were played, but overall this was quite a pleasant rendition, and I still have the theme from the 2nd movement stuck in my head as I’m writing this. What I also liked was that at one point (i.e. when I was actually paying attention in that area) I could actually hear the notes being played by the double bass quite clearly, at least compared to the other recording that I had listened to.

Next on the program, the musicians were joined by soprano Angela Gheorghiu (i.e. my main reason for actually purchasing the ticket), who performed all the way from the Athenaeum of Bucharest, Romania, [1st instance of Raya uselessly gushing] looking ethereal in that shot that was shown of her just walking inside the building wearing that white dress and flowing cape, before the actual performance. Just a warning for you guys here; I love Gheorghiu (actually, it’s a bit of a celebrity “crush”), so please expect a little bit of somewhat controlled gushing here and there (partly physical appearance-wise, which are indicated by the bold, and which I deeply hate myself for). This part of the review is causing me even more anxiety for that reason.

She performed on the stage of a theater that was practically empty besides the pianist. She sang in two languages I do not understand at all, which helped me a bit with not getting too distracted by pronunciation. [2nd instance of Raya uselessly gushing] Before I get into what y’all actually came for, I just wanted to get it out of my system about how she had this appearance that defined “has aged, aged really well”. She had this kind of mature beauty, especially with her makeup, that seemed to give me the overall vibes of a pleasant middle-aged auntie. (well, this was very difficult embarrassing to write) Even her singing voice had this sound that can be described as having this sort of “mature” quality blended with the whole fact of her overall sound being “hers”. I hope I have made myself clear.

Okay, gushing finished for now, let’s move on with the review!

Apparently the footage taken in Bucharest and the one taken in New York were both filmed separately. I found it really mind-blowing how the audio of both got synchronized so perfectly.

The first gem Gheorghiu sang was an arrangement of “Tatăl nostru”; basically an early-19th-century musical setting of the Lord’s Prayer by Anton Pann that is still used to this day in the Romanian Orthodox Church (totally NOT reading off the PDF for the program notes provided on the website). I had obviously never heard this piece before; I had tried to (VERY lazily) look it up a bit, but to no avail. I unfortunately don’t remember much from this performance apart from everything mentioned before, but what I do know is that was rendered really epic thanks to the participation of principal Met percussionist Gregory Zuber alongside the string players.

Next was performed the aria after which the whole concert was named, the incredibly famous “Měsíčku na nebi hlubokém” (aka “Song to the Moon”) by Dvořák again, from the opera Rusalka. This version was actually arranged by the violist Elsevier, who is among the musicians who retired from the Met during the pandemic. And it was indeed a beautiful arrangement! Now, unlike “Tatăl nostru”, which I virtually knew nothing about, I love this aria and know it quite well, so I did pay attention to some of the pronunciation; but then again, I do not speak Czech, so it didn’t matter much. Overall, Gheorghiu’s rendition was not perfect (I thinnnnnnnnk there were some notes that were a little bit out of tune? but there was vibrato that also touched the right tone and so I couldn’t tell), and I would certainly not imagine it within the full context of Rusalka the opera (see what I noted above concerning the quality of her voice), but that did not stop me from finding it quite beautiful.

It felt so weird not to hear any applause after each number, and so I could not help but clap after each gem, even though no one could hear me.

After the concert wrapped up, the audience got to watch a chat session between Gheorghiu and Met horn player Barbara Jöstlein Currie, where they talked about how this whole thing came to be (so apparently there was Instagram DM’ing between the two that was involved in the preparation?), before the five string players (which actually include two married couples!) whose music we heard earlier joined in. So unlike the concert, which was all pre-recorded, this was a Zoom session being streamed live. [3rd instance of Raya uselessly gushing] Gheorghiu’s speaking voice sounds radically different from her singing voice, and I can tell English is not her primary language, but that’s just something useless I wanted to include, on which I have zero strong feelings. In contrast to the pre-recorded concert, here she was responsible for me writing in The Balcony Seats Discord server earlier today about how “you know you have aged well when you end up looking a bit like Morticia Addams”, especially with the makeup. [gushing done]

The whole discussion hinged on the concept of “Met family”, and I found the whole interaction between Gheorghiu and the musicians just very very sweet, a star singer and musicians in the pit seeing each other as equals, as family. It’s not every day that I see that (but then again, my background is severely limited, so what do I know). Among the relatively unimportant things the convo touched on that stick with me, in no particular order, are:

Gheorghiu apparently married on the stage of the Met because the guy from the City Hall lost their papers and I never knew that??? (but then again, I never directly research info about my hyperfixations because I get overwhelmed) Everyone had a nice laugh at that recollection.

She got into this whole profession mainly to sing at the Met. Also the whole deal of her making L*vine cry and making her debut at a young age for a star singer.

Everyone relating to the feeling of going home at night after a concert, and not being able to go to sleep because you still have adrenaline flowing through you. As someone who does performing arts, I also relate to that on a moderate degree.

Family life talks.

Gheorghiu mentioning how she can’t work with a director who’s like “your character does that because that’s what I decided” because something something harmony? I can’t remember; I’m pretty sure I’m misquoting. But that’s basically the equivalent of “my house, my rules” (”my production, my interpretation” in that case, lol) imo, so can’t object too much.

Something about playing the finale of Götterdämmerung led the musicians to humorously throw in the idea of Gheorghiu singing Brünnhilde as her next role, and she went all “nah” to that, also humorously.

This led to her admitting that she’s not the biggest fan of Wagner’s music (though she would consider singing Elsa); saying that she’d travel back in time to tell Wager to stop writing these interminable phrases, to just get to the point (I’m not really into Wagner either, so I don’t completely disagree). Also, she believes that Wagner is difficult to sing, and that singers who nail Wagner tend to end up singing only Wagner (here, I think it depends, but there is a point somewhere in here).

She doesn’t seem to like singing acapella/without music very much, which also led her to record some sAcRiLEgiOuS versions of Orthodox worship songs, which you’re apparently not supposed to sing with music.

She sang something like “goodnight, goodnight” (idk) at the very end, it was cute.

To go back to the important stuff, Gheorghiu apparently wrote directly to the Met donors, asking to help in any way, because she wanted to set an example for other people by doing the right thing, and to help what she sees as her “family”, as mentioned above. I had heard some stories about her diva reputation (and she does seem to enjoy attention and stuff, from what I’ve seen myself), but overall she seems like a pretty good person. Mainly mentioning that because as y’all know I’m autistic and can’t tell intricate body language and stuff, plus my very strong belief that good person >>>>>>> great performer. (but my dear friends say that loving her is valid, so I guess I’m safe from too much disappointment. what am I even writing).

And that’s it for my incredibly long and uselessly detailed and almost incoherent and somewhat gushy review, which took me nearly 3 hours to write (and for which I may or may not have replayed a little bit of the stream just to get one bit of info right), and which will, again, probably embarrass me for the rest of my puny life, but which I could not not let out into the void of operablr.

(There were also moments earlier today where I was fantasizing about being interviewed on that very Zoom meeting for the scene-and-duet I composed back in January in response to the Met’s poor treatment of its musicians)

I guess what I can take from this post is: never write a review again, Raya!

#sorry everyone!!!#raya writes a review #concert review #opera concert review #angela gheorghiu #(whom i have excessively gushed over)#(but seriously you should count the number of times i have written 'gheorghiu' in this one post!)#(i haven't bc it's late)#met orchestra musicians #song to the moon #song to the moon concert #dealing with part of a current hyperfixation

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nk-blackwolfangel · 2 years

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From #stream yesterday. The first #livestream of this year #2022 . It was a art stream and after finished one little picture, then came a round #marblesonstream . It was little funny and thanks 🙏🏻 for the #raids . #twitch #stream #streamergirl #streamartist #artist #art #games #artwork #zeichnen #drawing #blackwolfangel #painting #10kartists #10kartist #10kkünstler #aquarellepainting #fabercastell #digitalartist #traditionalartists #traditionalart #traditionalarts https://www.instagram.com/p/CYPRuuvAeKe/?utm_medium=tumblr

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angelasongart · 6 years

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Finished! Tomb Raider fan art commission, completed on yesterday’s art stream. Had to use my shiny paints of course! ✨🕺🏻✨ This piece makes me want to paint a scene from each ancient codex location..! #laracroft #tombraider #shadowofthetombraider #riseofthetombraider #watercolor #illustration #commission #livestream #painting #twitchcreative #twitch #angelasongart

#illustration #tombraider #watercolor #twitch #riseofthetombraider #shadowofthetombraider #commission #twitchcreative #livestream #laracroft #painting #angelasongart

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curious-minx · 3 years

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The Art Patron (SHORT STORY)

Somewhere in between purchasing a full set of decorative Simpsons plates, a perfectly cromulent companion to my custard yellow walls, and generating writing prompts for aspiring writers to never do, I made a discovery that will change my life forever.

My love language is tinsel wrapped gifts of the highest and personal order. I wanted my lady love to have a very special Kansas Day. She wasn’t from Kansas, nor did she care much for the Simpsons. She liked them just fine. Oh! A fellow is offering the artistic service of turning “ME!” into a Simpson! My walls could use all of the soggy rubber ducky yellow art it can get and seeing as the only pictures I have of myself are in the womb I think this would be one step closer to adulthood. Click, yes, sir please Turn Me into a Simpson button. Huh…$500. That’s really steep. I close the laptop and pace around my small, growing increasingly smaller bedroom, and I trip over a foam dumb bell. I am black and bruised. I have even made myself start bleeding. Dammit I guess I have no choice but to turn myself into a Simpson now. How else will I remember how I looked before I broke my face, but I don’t own any pictures of myself!

I have been grocery shopping recently at Sal’s Little Big Sega Bodega! She’s surely got me on camera. I huff down the thirty six flights of my storied building and tip my doorman handsomely. Listen to the heels click and clatter, Big City Blues are calling me. Sal’s Little Big Sega Bodega is one of the only approachable monuments to commerce on this fiscally icy block. I waltzed right in through the copyright infringing doors and blast a salutations to Sal herself. Sal puffs on a waterlogged stodgy and turns a page in a dirty magazine about Russian propaganda. There is a man dressed up in a Sonic the Hedgehog suit cleaning up a bloody mess pooling around the cramped store.

The man dressed as Sonic tells me,“Surf’s up, homie.” The gory puddle ripples and soaks. I step around armed with an armful of Clickers, a steady Shenmue stress ball and a pre-wrapped Alex Kidd Enchanted Castle hoagie, I will have to pick out the pickled capers but it’s still a nice mayo dense sammie.

“Sal, fair clerkess I am hoping you are having a good day.” I am going to crack into the Sal safe one chit at a chat.

“Nope. Keep it moving, kid. Take your change.” She slides my change across the counter and even though I typically despise when people refuse to make hand to hand contact with lending of money I can accept Sal when she does this. She has clearly lived a life.

“I understand, the ToeJam and Earl flavored condoms don’t stock themselves.”

Sal snaps back, “Look-I know you appreciate all of this geeky shit, but this is my livelihood.”

“Sal, I really think you should take an improv class. You would learn not to start all of these customer interactions marinated in sea salt brine saltier than Ecco the Dolphin’s home...I will see myself out.” Damn I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ask for a simple favor. An old woman with a brawny pale tattooed man on leash has entered the store just as I am leaving. The old woman takes off her wig, revealing a bald shiny head and a pistol. She begins shoving the pistol at Sal. Sonic turns on the Jet Set Radio to full blast and slips in the bloody puddle.

I don’t want to call the police, but I call the police.

“Hello, I don’t like you.”

“911, what is your emergency.” The tone of the pig operator is harsh and accusatory. I try to swallow, but I am choking on my enchanted hoagie.

“Bang! Bang! Cops and robbers! 72nd and Pacific Ave! Be here or be square!” I hang up the phone and in my burst of adrenaline have to remind myself to not smash my own phone. I go around the corner and wait for the cops who show up. Hours go by and the Sega bodega burns, robbed and pillage. What a world. The cops finally show up when they finally feel like it and are asking Sal the typical useless questions.

“An old woman and her lackey robbed me blind and you’re just going to file some paperwork?!”

“Listen, sweetheart, this is a big bad world. Shit happens. Buck up.” Office Doomsdairy tips his cardboard hat at Sal and takes a Chocolate Milk that has one of the Super Monkey Ball Monkeys winking on the carton. The cop chugs the whole milk carton and slides Sal a twenty.

“Buy yourself something happy, you look like a miserable bitch. Also, I grew up in a Nintendo household you’re lucky I don’t arrest you for being on the wrong side of the console wars! God dammit! I hate all of these sexual harassment protocols! I used to have a partner I could wisecrack to! Thank you for calling 911, have a nice day.” The cop is leaving and I puff my chest like a mighty Maine puffin and say to the officer, “Wait!”

The cop responds, “Dude, I’m on break. Buzz off.”

“No officer, you should take a look at the security camera footage. You will see that Sal isn’t lying!”

“Yeah, sure whatever.” The filthy cop and I go back inside and now with the Wrong side of the Law by my side I can finally get my security camera footage.

“Why don’t you just take a picture of yourself? You have a phone don’t you?” Asks a nagging insipid voice that sounds rough and grainy against my thoughts. I shove the voice away and continue standing by the dirty Lawman’s side.

“So uh I think I need to see the security livestream. You do have a security camera right?”

“Yes, officer, I have security.” Sal makes a throat cutting motion over to the Sonic man behind her who sadly puts away his Golden Axe. Sal lifts open her gate for the officer to step through and he immediately turns on the bathroom security footage and begins fast tracking and rewinding the footage stopping at every womanly shape. He does this for a while and clutches at his foam padded pants.

“Hey kid, this technology bewilders me. Maybe you should find the crime.” The cop stretches and scrolls through his phone while I fumble with this alien technology hoping to click the right video feed. I eventually stumble, click onto a feed of the main entryway and rewind to the robbery. I look over and notice that the cop is injecting himself with a violent red powder and kicking at Sal’s managerial locker. I rewind further and find a good headshot of myself prior to my accident. Seeing as I stop in every day it doesn’t take long for me to find yesterday’s beautiful face. I cringe and take out my own phone and take a picture of my image on the security camera display monitor. I fast forward back over to the unfolding of the crime. Another cop appears, Officer Wrathsberg.

“Fuckin hurry up Doom! What’s the hold up? You jerking off to potty pics again? And who the hell is this civilian? Get out of here!” I take my leave and hurry back home with a visage of myself in tow. I tip my doorman again and rush back up my thirty six flights of stairs. Back home. My plants are still wilting, my cat still isn’t back from her shopping trip, and my walls are still the color of Big Bird’s sperm. I upload a picture of a picture of myself and take another $500 out of my savings. I am going to be turned into a Simpsons.

The Simpsonfy me fill out form is of a considerable depth. They want to know a lot of personal information that I am frankly insulted no one has ever asked me about before. Some questions make me reconsider my entire worldview. I am going to be one terrific Simpson. I finish the survey and look for a way to tip the artist, but their cryptic Paypal does not offer a tip button so I add on an extra $25 to the $500. I wait. In the amount of time it takes for someone to open and close an app I get a response.

“Thanks. I will see you tonight.”

“Wait, what?” I say out loud and really wish I hadn’t. Going to take hours to get this kind of negative energy out of my house. I type up, “No thanks, please find attached the photograph of my visual likeness to assist you on what I am sure to be a lovely portrait. Thanks again and I hope you have a nice Kansas day!”

I close my laptop and masturbate because I am grateful for being an artistic patron. I feel what Walt Disney must have felt every time he flexed and brought a new animated confection to the world. The wait for the portrait will be excruciating.

My lady love, who is totally not my sister, Franchesca has returned home! I rush to the front door like a toddler puppy hybrid too cute for his own good embracing the warm glow of the Feminine return, and she grunts out a hello. She peels off every article of clothing off from her body and leaves it behind like a scorned Pompei cast away and excuses herself to the shower. I bend down and sweep up her sticky and sweet bundle of clothes and fold them into the clothing hamper. I wait for her shower and she joins me in the rhomboid rumpus (and rumble) room clad in nothing but her Parisian robe.

“So, how was your day?” asks Franchesca, and I look into the depths of her expansive molasses colored eyes.

“Pretty good! I got you a Kansas Day gift! Do you want to open it now or later?” I hand her the wrapped stack of decorative Simpsons plates.

“Um sure? Kansas Day? Is this because I told you about that anime convention orgy I attended in Kansas? Either way, it is appreciated.” She unravels my gift which is wrapped in such a way to provide a user-friendly experience. She stares at the top plate on the stack, Lisa and Bleeding Gums Murphy saxing together in the moonlight. The best plate. Franchesca puts it down, not even considering the other four plates in the set.

“Thanks so much! I am sure one of these will look great hanging up on her walls the color of sick lemon. The purples will work real nicely. Now if you don’t mind me I think I will have a nice lie down for awhile. Wake me if you need anything.” Franchesca retires to her separate bed chambers leaving the pile of decorative plates and wrapping paper. I don’t bother picking them up. I don’t know what sort of reaction I was expecting, but this one left me cold. At the very least she could have dramatically smashed one against my head if she hated them so much. I slink away to the liquor cabinet.

I bend down to the liquor cabinets’ sleepy filigree doors and whisper into them, “I will take one big and brown, please.” I take out a mostly full bottle of pre-made Whiskey Sour. Too many times I have gotten super sloshed making my own cocktails and making a huge mess in the kitchen, and as anyone who has ever met me always leaves with one and only one impression: “I can tell that he’s not the biggest fan of messes.” I messily chug straight from the bottle until I sputter out the synthetic 65% concoction. I pour another glass in a frosted novelty glass of a franchise I don’t even like and sink into my chaise beanbag lounge. At least when I wake up I will finally be a Simpson.

////

My throat is too dry to swallow. My eyes, too blurry and caked over to blink. My arms were too roped and bound to move. I try to speak but only weakness comes out. Every inch of my body feels like it is experiencing a tingly chemical burn. I produce a groan! That’s progress. The room isn’t spinning, but it’s not a stable clear image for me either.

“Congratulations Mister Branche, you’ve officially been made into a Simpson.”

“Dooough.” I am trying to ask what the hell is going on, but my mouth is also too heavily caked over in a rubbery mask to move. My vision is starting to reappear and I am not too sure I want to keep seeing what I am seeing.

“Hush, now do you want an official Simpson name? I was thinking Albert Sacksworth, but I am always open to my clients suggestions. No rush, but I will need a decision in less than twenty four hours if we are going to sign your official Simpsons birth certificate.

“Dooough.” I am trying to say that this is an outrage and as a fellow literalist I am sickened by this criminal negligence, untie me you scoundrel!

I am released into the world as a Simpson character. I only have eight fingers now. I will use all eight of these fingers to climb my way back into my lady loves’ arms.

The End.

#the simpsons #short story #weird fiction #short fiction #sega #sega saturn #crime #sonic

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mistawolfie · 6 years

Text

Marcus

( As promised, here’s part 1 of Jim and Marcus’ backstory. Enjoy ^^ )

Three gentle knocks, and he knew it was here. His chair groaned loudly in relief as he stood up, his knees slightly giving in to his weight. He shuffled to the curtained door to be greeted by a silhouette of a small womanly figure; upright, confident, relaxed. The figure behind the wood-framed and curtained glass door patiently swayed, her short demeanor fit perfectly with the width of the narrow window. He expected a sort of cold chill, a tinge of malice in the air, but this all seemed so routine, serine. He rested his hand on the cool brass doorknob and pulled the white wooden door open.

“Hello.”

Lime green eyes lit as their gazes met. Her long, wavy black hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, the ends curving sharply at the ends, thick and barbed like soft needles. She wore a casual black suit with her white button up opened right above her small breasts, just enough for a brief thought of temptation. Her lips were curved into an all-knowing smile, the gloss of her blushing lips parting slightly as she continued.

“You called, I believe.”

He backed his hooded body inside and let her in. Her low heels clicked like light hooves as it hit the dusty floor. He pulled his hood over his eyes as if to cover his face deeper as he hastily closed the door.

“I was expecting something...flashier,” he audibly mumbled.

“Elaborate entrances aren’t really a thing anymore,” she sighed disappointingly. “We have to abide by the ‘preferable’ style of the ages. An unsaid rule to be honest, but I guess you wouldn’t believe me being so.” She twirled and tugged at her bouncing hair with her thin, delicately sharp fingers. “But you don’t have to.”

Her eyes followed a fly making small circles near the entrance and buzzing into the room next door. It rested on a paper plate of dried brown liquid and a stale slice of partially eaten pizza. The medium-sized pizza box sitting in the middle of a cheap plastic table was partially open, showing that only one slice was missing, and the rest were in a similar state.

“So, how long will it take?” He tried to suppress his voice to sound calm, but it was obvious, even to him, that he sounded impatient.

“As long as you have the equivalent item of exchange, I can do it right here, right now.”

His heart leaped. No, you knew this, you know this, he told himself. He felt his throat dry and sour, the stickiness in his mouth making it hard for him to form words. He tried to fill his lungs as much as possible, but only felt he barely inhaled a quarter of its capacity. You’re going to say it, you know what it is. Now, with authority!

“I...think I do.” Dammit!

“Wonderful,” she grinned, her orange-tinted teeth gleefully gleamed. With a playful pirouette, her low ponytail undid themselves and were now freely flowing waves of thick, shadowy water. They bounced up and down as she skipped effortlessly up the stairs with the rhythmical clip-clop-clip-clop of her heels. He was about to tell her that he didn’t say her where Jim’s room was, but he figured that that would be redundant. She probably knows. He slowly heaved heavy knees up the stairs. He watched each of the scraped paint on the steps form from a typical shoe print into large hoof marks.

“Oh, where are my manners!” She dramatically cried from the top of the stairs. She tossed her head from the end of the staircase, her head tilted to face his with a hand over her forehead. “Pray tell, where art thou friend?”

“On my right, the last door down the hall,” he mumbled. The little devil flipped her hand into a thankful salute and disappeared behind the wall. “And don’t run,” he muttered under his breath.

The hall was empty and quiet as he left it. Floating dust glimmering in the sunbeams reminded him of the time he watched the livestream of the ocean depths. Marine snow, he remembered Jim saying. Even dead fish have beautiful names after they decay. The two sat in front of Marcus’ oversized laptop screen and watched the video streams from the Rover while the marine biologists gleefully tossed around trivia about frilled sharks and dumbo octopus. The tiny smile on Jim’s face was probably the happiest he had ever seen his friend be.

“Marcus, my boy,” her voice rang, “reminiscing sweet memories takes far too much time. Your friend awaits.” She hummed a throaty giggle. “Or should I say, you are?”

Marcus’ eyes glared at the open door at the end of the hall from behind his hood, saying nothing. He picked up his pace and entered the gaping void of Jim’s bedroom. He felt for the switch, but thought against it and strode towards the animated shape of the small, now slightly horned, woman. She stood over Jim’s body lying on his dark blue and white striped bed, stroking his black, matted hair lovingly. The line of light leaking from between the closed curtains traced her cheeks and curved, rosy lips.

“Such a pitiful, loved boy,” her lips purred. He said nothing and thinned his eyes at Jim. Her lime green iris pierced into his forest ones, her knowing smile unmoving. “All of this for your own sake.”

Her legs were now shaped into a goat’s leg, coarse hair long and frizzed with large hooves glistening in the limited light. Each step she took were like heavy hammers on the carpeted floor. She walked to the middle of the room and traced her thin fingers on the bottom lip of the noose. Marcus watched as the rope gently swayed back and forth, the stain on the floor probably still damp and Jim’s pants still crumpled on top of it. He told himself that he left it because the knots were too tight, the ceiling was too high, but it was just a reminder to himself. He peeled off the green hood from his head and shook his dirty blonde bangs out of his face. They felt oily and heavy, and he remembered that he hasn’t bathed in days. He took a deep breath and stepped towards her.

“I’m ready.”

---

“H-hey Jim, aren’t you always hot wearing th-that t-turtleneck all the t-time?”

The beating summer sun was quickly melting their Extreme-Orange-Pulp-and-Creme-Swirl-of-the-Century-Hyperboost-Juicicle. Jim slurped loudly as he tried to catch all the escaping liquids from making a mess on his hands while Emile was dripping a small orange puddle of Extreme-Orange-Pulp-and-Creme-Swirl-of-the-Century-Hyperboost-Juicicle on the ground between his legs while timidly licking the tip of the icicle.

“Mm, never really thought about it,” he thoughtfully slurped. “I guess I’m kinda cold all the time...because I’m such a chill dude.” He winked and finger-gunned the skinny priest. Emile replied with an awkward chuckle and sadly looked at his half-melted icicle.

“I-I don’t think I can finish th-this,” Emile sighed.

“I’ll take it if you want,” Jim offered while sliding the remaining bits into his mouth.

“Y-you sure? I-it’s mostly melted because I eat s-so s-slow.”

“Bah, it’s fine! Fork over your Orange-Swirl-Centurion-Jucicle!”

“I-It’s e-Extreme-Orange-Pulp-and...”

“Oh hey Emile.”

The priest lifted his head to be greeted by a lean, built man with a crooked grin. Besides him was a woman with a shoulder-length bob and a beaming smile.

“Long time no see little man,” she said while rolling her sleeves. “Whatcha doin?”

“W-we just saw each other in class yesterday Lulu...a-and hi Mitch,” he nervously grinned. “I-I’m just hanging out with Jim here.” Mitch looked at his girlfriend’s lanky classmate with one raised confused brow.

“Jim…?”

“Y-yeah, I don’t th-think you guys met on campus because we’re in different buildings.” Emile scooted his body toward Jim and guided his palm toward the black-haired man. “Th-this is Jim. J-Jim, th-these are my classmates from anth-anthropology.”

“Howdy my dudes,” he grinned. Lulu looked in his direction and tilted her head in a greeting manner. Mitch glanced his way and looked back at Emile with a concerned expression. He opened his mouth to say something when Lulu tugged at his sleeves.

“We actually have to go now,” she said in an apologetic tone. “I want us to get some good seats for the movie.”

“O-oh, yeah, right. I-I’ll see you in class on Monday.”

“Right, later.” Mitch scratched the back of his neck and hastily waved good-bye to the pair while Lulu pulled his other hand.

“Have fun!” Jim shouted at their backs as they disappeared into the crowds of moviegoers and outlet shoppers. “Cute pair,” he commented as Emile shyly passed the nearly gone icicle.

“S-Sorry.”

“No worries, it’s still delicious. Go wash your hands in the bathroom or something, I’ll watch your stuff.”

The skinny priest hastily jogged towards the men’s room between boutiques behind their bench. Jim leaned back onto the steel bench and absently sucked on the stick which still somewhat tasted like Extreme-Orange-Pulp-and-Creme-Swirl-of-the-Century-Hyperboost-Juicicle. He gently touched his neck and felt a wave of nausea layer his mind and body in a thin, familiar veil. He flinched his hand away and took a deep breath to rid the sensation. The stick dropped from his mouth, bounced off the seat of the bench between his thighs and settled onto the ground in front of him. Sweat beaded from his face and saliva dripped from the corners of his lip. What the hell…?

The nausea slowly subsided as he tried to adjust his eyesight. His eyes followed the stick to find a pair of dirty sneakers standing in front of him. Faded jeans fell to the heels and were frilled at the end. He followed up the green torso of the hoodie to find a familiar dirty blond-headed face with the usual bored frown looking down at him.

---

“So, you know that I know what you want, but I need to hear it from your lips to make it official.” Baphomet dragged her French nails across the rim of Jim’s bed as she paced across his body, as if making an invisible line between him and Marcus. “So I simply ask you, my dear boy Marcus; what do you wish for, and what is your offer in exchange?” Her heavy hooves thumped rhythmically while she locked her eyes on Marcus, her pupils now unsettling, goat-like horizontal slits.

“I…,” Marcus swallowed and wet his mouth once more, “I want him...Jim, to have a long, happy and life filled with love.”

“Vague. Boring.”

“I offer you, or him, my emotions of love and care...if, you can call that an offering.” Her curved lips split into a toothy grin as she stopped pacing and stepped towards Marcus.

“That’s such a dangerous offer you make, my boy,” her voice was velvet and thick with a delighted undertone, her suited torso leaning forwards and looking up at the taller human as her chin barely touched his chest. “You know we like to take as much advantages as we can.”

“So it counts?”

“But of course. I’m also obligated to tell you that your other emotions will be enhanced due to the absence of the ones you’ve offered, in this case greed and lust. You will never be able to love, and you can only pretend to care and never feel true joy.”

“If Jim can have what I can give, then so be it.”

“Gallant boy.” Baphomet flicked the tip of his nose and twirled around to face the body. “You are one lucky dead man, aren’t you?” She giggled with her shoulders and hopped onto the foot of the bed. Her large hooves barely made the sheets rustle. She closed her eyes and made simple gestures with her fingers while whispering incantations under her breath. Marcus stood over Jim’s body, staring into his closed eyes. He knelt and reached for his hand, cold and rigid, and held it in his as if to warm it.

“Marine snow,” he whispered, gently squeezing his stiff fingers. “You compared yourself to fucking dead fish flakes.” That’s not what he meant to say. The days passed like a blur, he wasn’t sure if it flew or crawled. Maybe the world was moving faster than him, or maybe he has slowed. He didn’t remember if he ate or shit. All he knew was that Jim has stopped, and so has he.

It wasn’t that he didn’t have anything to say, but nothing sounded right. Marcus pressed his lips on Jim’s forehead, the cool flesh on his skin imprinting a cold spot like a bruise. The color was gone from Jim’s cheeks, and heavy bags under his eyes sunk his thin eyes deep into the hollows of his sockets. The blond stroked his cheek with the back of his fingers, and he slowly leaned in.

---

Marcus first noticed Jim always sitting in the back corner of the classroom. He never realized that they had quite a few classes together because he was so quiet. Not like a fearful mouse holding its breath as to not attract any attention from predators, but more like a ghost apologizing for his existence. It was as if being invisible was the closest he could do to compensate, and he was very good at it.

He wasn’t sure why he was so concerned for this lonely classmate, but he decided to sit next to him one day and tried to start a conversation. The green hooded freshman was startled and could only mumble out broken sentences that even he could barely hear. Marcus only caught the constant “sorry” between shallow breaths.

“Hey man, it’s cool. We got a whole semester ahead of us to talk more.”

Jim hardly nodded and continued to sit like a statue. His breathing was so quiet that Marcus was worried that he was going to fade away without him noticing at all. After class, Jim would quietly and swiftly float away before Marcus could catch him. This continued for weeks: Marcus tries to make small talk, Jim evades him like a mist. Other students didn’t seem to acknowledge his existence either. Marcus even considered that maybe Jim was a citizen of the paranormal realm, and somehow he has gained the ability to see ghosts (although that was quickly debunked during the occasional roll call).

The day they finally interacted was when they happened to enter the same apartment complex at the same time.

“I...didn’t know that we lived in the same building,” Marcus awkwardly chuckled. He saw Jim’s body squeeze inward, trying to get smaller.

“……...yeah…..”

“What floor?” Jim dug his chin into his chest, obviously hesitant to answer. Marcus scratched his head and searched for a different topic to talk about. Maybe all of this chasing is like...stalking? He’s clearly avoiding me for whatever reason, I should probably sto-

“...3rd…..room 305...” Marcus’ forest eyes widened.

“Uh, coincidence, I’m 405.”

“………..yeah….”

“You...wanna do homework together?”

“…...ok.”

Although he was shocked that Jim would comply so easily since he had taken every opportunity to avoid interaction, Marcus happily led his hooded classmate to his room. The two stood silently in the brightly lit elevator, listening to the buzzing hum of the old motors and the loud DING of floor numbers lighting up. The door clumsily slid open as they reached the 4th floor, and Marcus was quietly relieved that Jim followed him out. His hooded head was still looking down at the dirty blue carpet when he shuffled out, his long black bangs hiding his expression. Marcus dug into his pant pockets for his keys while leading Jim down the dimly lit dorm halls. The lingering smell of old weed and unshowered bodies made the air so thick and musky one could even taste the sour odor. Marcus unlocked the old, shriveled door and pushed it open with his weight.

“Welcome to my…,” he paused as he looked at the piles of unwashed clothes, plastic bags filled with garbage, unopened school supplies and partially-eaten food, “...dwelling.” But even seeing this, Jim’s brown eyes barely faltered as he let himself inside with a very small “excuse me.”

Marcus dug open a place for them to sit on the old sofa facing his 24” screen laptop resting on a small plastic table. He still debated whether this was a good idea or not, but his guest didn’t seem to show any signs of protest so far. In fact, Jim just sat quietly and shallow-breathed as usual with his backpack on his lap. Marcus invited him to sit around the table and they worked on their assignments in silence while a video with a comedian angrily commenting on the absurdities of the current state of their government played in the background. Marcus snickered every now and then at the jokes, but Jim was unfazed and never looked up from his notes. His letters were small and scrawled, barely legible to the untrained eye. Marcus wondered if he was really reading or if he was just staring at the scribbles to pass the time.

Jim’s phone vibrated. He flinched and quickly dug around the side pockets of his huge backpack. He wasn’t exactly a small man, but Marcus thought that if Jim kept up his curled stature, he could potentially contort himself inside. Jim pulled out an old flip phone, opened the screen and sighed in relief. He turned it off with a soft beep, eyed Marcus warily and looked back down at his notebook.

“….sorry...my…...alarm went off….,” he mumbled as he apologetically stuffed the phone in his front hoodie pocket. Marcus looked at the clock and cocked his head questioningly.

“At 7:30 in the evening?” Jim timidly nodded. “For what?”

“….um….a...a livestream….I….watch…..” His voice trailed off as he noticed that he was shamefully exposing himself. “………..i….it’s a weird….hobby…...” Marcus reached for his laptop and moved the pointer to the web bar.

“Give me the name of the site.” Jim raised his head, his brown eyes wide with surprise. Marcus’ heart leaped.

“you...you don’t have to...do that…” Jim’s head lowered.

“I wanna watch too.”

“….no you don’t….” His head lowered with his voice.

“Yes I do.” The dirty blond eyed Jim’s paper. “I’ll help you with problem 5-a if you tell me.” Jim looked confused at the remark, but then looked at his paper and stifled a snort at this. Marcus didn’t miss seeing the corner of his thin lips curl a touch. Jim gently moved Marcus’ hand aside and typed. A deep ocean blue screen appeared with a large black rectangular box in the middle. White bubbles floated and popped in the middle of the black screen with the words ‘Diving to the Depths...’ fading in and out of the screen.

“It….it might take a while…,” Jim mumbled.

“Well, I’ll help you with 5-a while we’re waiting.”

It didn’t take long for the two to get immersed to the underwater world and forgetting to finish the rest of their assignment, but Marcus thought it was worth it as he saw Jim’s dry, dark brown eyes glint as he listened to Dr. Valor and Dr. Simone having a heated debate about which is cuter, the flapjack octopus or the bobtail squid.

“I vote octopus,” Marcus chuckled. Jim slightly opened his mouth, paused, and looked down at the lighted keyboards.

“….I do too,” he mumbled.

---

Jim’s sunken eyes shot open. His chest heaved as he choked in air into his collapsed lungs, his dry mouth flapping open and shut like a fish out of water, his nails digging into Marcus’ hands trying to lift himself from an unseen cliff. The body twitched and shook, the rigor mortis making him awkwardly flap and bounce on his bed. He looked up at Marcus with panicked fear and rage.

“What’s happening?!” Marcus shouted at Baphomet who was still reciting incantations under her breath.

“Finalizing our contract,” she simply answered. “You should tell him what you can now, he’s gonna come out a clean slate once I’m done.”

“What?!”

“Oh, I don’t know, confessions, deeply held secrets, you know, whatever. It’s not like it’s going to matter on the long run, but maybe one less regret might make this easier for you. Just a suggestion.”

Marcus winced as Jim’s nails dug deeper into his hand and broke his skin. Blood pooled and seeped into his nails as he continued to twitch and flap painfully, his mouth now letting out whistles of dry windpipes wanting to scream.

“This really doesn’t look or feel like the right moment to confess anything!”

“It’s your only chance, now chop-chop.”

“Fine! I…,” Marcus winced and gritted his teeth as Jim’s nails dug for his bones. His brown eyes never left his forest ones, now watery with tears. “I think I loved, love...I love you. I never thought I would ever tell you this, but-”

“FUCK YOU.”

A hoarse, enraged whisper screamed into Marcus.

“HOW DARE YOU.” Jim’s body shook the bed like an earthquake. Baphomet was floating now, eyes closed and continuously chanting. Marcus shook his head in confusion.

“J-Jim, wait, I, I just-” He cried as he felt a bone in his hand crack.

“FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.” Baphomet clapped her hands gleefully with an orange-tinted smile splitting her face.

“Confessional is closed boys, say good-bye now!”

“Wait-” Jim pulled Marcus toward his face and glared into his tearful panicked forest eyes with blazing rage.

“I HOPE I WATCH YOU BURN.”

Marcus felt Jim’s nails leave his broken hand. His body crumbled into the bed and lay like a marionette snipped of its strings. Dust floated and surrounded the three bodies as Baphomet squeaked a sneeze, her hooves landing on the floor like low, distant thunder.

“Oof, better open the window or something honey, these are some potent bunnies.”

#MDP #Marcus #Jim #Baphomet #Monster Date Problems #backstory

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kuraudiart · 7 years

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Oi Kuraudia! I'm brazilian and I love your art. :3 I like the way you draw Miguel. I just want to ask you something, why don't you ever draw Lu (APH Brasil)? :( He's latino too, show him some love.

Hi Anon~ thank you,I'm glad that you like my art❤. To be honest I have tons of drawings of Lu, (also I just drew him yesterday in a livestream for a comic), is not that I don’t draw him, is more like I never finish anything, because I’m slow at drawing and so far this year has been super busy for me so I don’t have so much time/motivation to finish drawings… OTL

But I will show you some of my work in progress of Lu mostly from this year + a little preview of one spoiler of something I cannot post yet:

I will try to finish some stuff of him. *hugs*

#kukureply #anon #Latin hetalia related~#No es que no dibuje... Es que nunca termino nada... OTL #He dibujado a todos los personajes más de una vez...#Si vieras todos los wips de LH que me manejo...#Tengo más cositas de Lu... Pero no quiero spoilear mucho...#Así que por ahora te muestro esto...

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daniellethamasa · 4 years

Text

Hey all, Dani here.

Greetings! I usually like to do these monthly wrap-ups on the first of the month, but I had a couple post office delays with the delivery of my OwlCrate and a Book Loft package, so I decided I would wait one more day since the shipment tracking said I would get them both today. Thankfully they arrived a few hours ago, so I was able to put the finishing touches on the post.

April was actually a really good month on the being in home and watching shows, reading books, blogging, and playing Animal Crossing. Granted, it was also a lot more stressful in terms of going into work, and I have a feeling that it’s only going to get worse on that, as more and more people are deciding that they are tired of the restrictions of social distancing and now with mandatory wearing of masks, so they are taking their unpaid leave and just not dealing with it. Unfortunately it means those of us who are left have to work even harder, which is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. I’m now actually finding myself wishing that the factory would just close for a week or two until the manpower struggles lessen a bit, but I don’t think that will happen. It’s immensely frustrating. I don’t want to be there with everything going on, but I can’t afford to take two weeks without pay.

But today’s supposed to be a pretty nice day, so I think Damian and I are maybe going to go to a state park that has some pretty nice and wide hiking trails, so we can get outside and walk around a bit. We’re obviously taking our masks with us too. I bought some of Etsy, getting him a Slytherin mask and me a Ravenclaw one. I ordered a couple others but those haven’t shipped yet.

As usual with my monthly wrap-up, let’s start off by checking in on my overall goals for the year.

Reading: I read 30 books in the month of April, 10 of which were manga volumes, two were re-reads, and three were novella length. Overall that takes me to 101 books read already in 2020. Still, I’d say that is a pretty good month of reading. I should probably count up how many pages that is. Okay, I did the calculations, and only counting finished books I read 8,707 pages in April…but really I’ve probably read a few hundred more if you include unfinished reads. Overall though I’m super happy with that. I successfully completed my requirements for the OWLs Magical Readathon, so all I have to do is pass the NEWTs in a couple months and I’ll be a Trader of Magical Tomes. I also participated in Dewey’s 24 Hour Readathon, and that was a whole lot of fun. Plus, I am currently in the middle of the Calendar Girls Springtime Whirl, going until May 11th, so I’m hoping to read a few more books at least for it–I haven’t achieved a bingo yet, but I’m really just having a good time trying to read to fulfill random prompts.

Blogging: It was the best month on my blog so far this year, and pretty close to being my best month in the history of Mousai Books, in terms of stats anyway. In terms of number of blog posts, this was definitely the best month overall…but I’m going to dial it back a little bit, because there’s no way I can keep doing like 10+ posts a week. It’s not sustainable for me right now. But I do still feel pretty good about continuing to have posts up pretty much every day. I wrote up 46 blog posts in the month of April, which is impressive, but it was also a whole lot of work. I did really enjoy the content though. I had a lot of books to talk about, and I especially enjoyed my National Library Week posts.

Writing: Well, I wrote a lot of blog posts, though that doesn’t count on the creative writing front. I was all excited about jumping into writing my book and then the world went to crap and I can’t get in a good mind set to write, so I’ve focused my attention on reading, and more study of the craft of writing. So it’s progress, but it isn’t progress in a trackable form such as increasing word count.

Conventions: Right now we are waiting to see what’s going to happen with Gen Con in late July/early August. It is a massive convention, so we’re expecting there to at least be a ton of restrictions. Lexington Comic and Toy Con ended up being postponed again, this time to June 18-21, and then it was just announced like yesterday that the 2020 convention is being canceled. But we both really want to work with Colorworld Books again, so we’re hoping that Cincinnati Comic Expo in September will still be good to go. My friends at Colorworld Books are trying to continue with their business as a digital affair, but 99% of the profits were made from attending conventions, so this has been a struggle for them. If you want to go check out their online store, that would be great. They have metal art prints and bookmarks, geeky t-shirts, and books. Oh, and you can use ConLife30 for 30% off of all metal, or CORONACON for 10% off any shirts. Oh, and they have actually started doing Colorworld LIVE convention style events just about every week. They gather up three or four awesome voice actors, hold a livestream panel, then a VIP panel for anyone who buys some signed merch, and of course you can get shirts, metal art prints, and more with characters these actors have portrayed. It’s pretty cool.

Okay, I guess I should start with wrapping up my time with the OWLs Magical Readathon. I was going for the Trader of Magical Tomes career path, which required me to read 4 books. I ended up changing one of the books from my TBR out because it was taking me so long and I worried I wouldn’t finish it in time. But, other than that, I was successful in reading all four books, so I’m ready to continue my Magical Tome training in the NEWTs later this year.

I’m also in the middle of the Calendar Girls Springtime Whirl, which is a bingo inspired reading challenge running from April 13-May 11. Once the reading challenge is over I’ll share a post with an updated bingo board covering all the categories I completed.

All right, let’s run through everything I read in the month of April. If I have a review up, I’ll also include the link back to that post.

City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare — 4.5 stars

Bonds of Brass by Emily Skrutskie — 5 stars

The Winter Duke by Claire Eliza Bartlett — 4.5 stars

Manga Classics: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte and Po Tse — 4 stars

The Queen of Raiders by Sarah Kozloff — 5 stars

Mr. Penumbra’s 24 Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloane — 5 stars

Love and Other Words by Christina Lauren — 4 stars

You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle — 3.5 stars

The Library Book by Susan Orlean — 5 stars

Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World by Vicki Myron — 5 stars

Hickville Crossroads by Mary Karlik — 4 stars

An Affair of Poisons by Addie Thorley — 4.5 stars

Fruits Basket Collector’s Edition Volume 4 by Natsuki Takaya — 4 stars

The Invisible Library by Genevieve Cogman — 4 stars

Steering the Craft by Ursula K Le Guin — 4 stars

Witches of Ash and Ruin by E. Latimer — 4.5 stars

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone — 5 stars

Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey — 5 stars

Fairy Tail Volume 8 by Hiro Mashima — 5 stars

The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin — 4 stars

The Bad-Ass Librarians of Timbuktu by Joshua Hammer — 4.5 stars

Fairy Tail Volume 9 by Hiro Mashima — 5 stars (review coming May 4, 2020)

Fairy Tail Volume 10 by Hiro Mashima — 5 stars (review coming May 18, 2020)

Fairy Tail Volume 11 by Hiro Mashima — 5 stars (review coming June 1, 2020)

Fairy Tail Volume 12 by Hiro Mashima — 5 stars (review coming June 15, 2020)

Fairy Tail Volume 13 by Hiro Mashima — 5 stars (review coming June 29, 2020)

Fairy Tail Volume 14 by Hiro Mashima — 5 stars (review coming July 13, 2020)

Fairy Tail Volume 15 by Hiro Mashima — 5 stars (review coming July 27, 2020)

The Last Smile in Sunder City by Luke Arnold — 3.5 stars

The Honey Don’t List by Christina Lauren — 4.5 stars

Whew, that was quite the list of reads for the month. Seriously I had a lot of fun reading this month and definitely found some books that are contenders for my Top Ten Reads of 2020 from April to June, so that’s great. Unless something bad happens, I have a feeling that this will be my best year of reading in a long time.

All right, next it’s time for the book haul portion of things, starting with the OwlCrate unboxing.

I think I’m really going to enjoy putting together the Moony puzzle, and the book sounds rather interesting. Clearly I enjoy having another notebook, as those are handy to have around. Same with the tote bag. And Damian really likes the wooden phases of the moon banner, so I gave that to him to add to the decorations in his man cave. I actually do like the OwlCrate version of this cover better than the original. The people are a bit closer and bigger, and the cover has this wonderfully eerie glow to it, almost as if it is bathed in moonlight, which is great. Plus those sprayed edges.

And, before I get into the rest of the books for my monthly haul, I want to talk about some other purchases I’ve made lately.

The stickers I bought off of Redbubble and they are from a dozen different artists. A few of the stickers are for Damian (and he already put them up in his man cave) and the rest are going on my art wall collage. The metal art prints are from my friends at Colorworld Books, and I love the metal art, but it is not easy to capture their beauty in a photo because of the reflection of light. Maybe I’ll think of doing a little video of them in my Instagram stories or something. I might pick up some more art this weekend. We’ll see.

As part of the bookhaul portion of today’s post, I need to do a shout out to The Book Loft of German Village in Columbus, OH. After some requests on social media, they complied and decided to offer a Malamarkus Mystery Box. You pay a single price for the box, tell them in your order comments what genres you would like, and then they fill the box with items such as books, a tote bag, bookish pins or stickers, etc for you. I have purchased two of these boxes, and it’s really fun to get a package where you have no idea what books they will select for you. The first box I ordered I gave them the genres of Epic Fantasy, Paranormal Romance, and Manga, with a couple examples of authors/series for each. I loved the selections so much that I picked up a second box, asking this time for fiction that makes me feel like I’m playing Dungeons & Dragons.

What’s really fun about both of these boxes is that they ended up having books for both Damian and myself. In the first box he got Dr. Stone because he watches the anime and wanted to try the manga, and The Starless Sea because I already owned a copy. In the second box I gave Damian The Last Wish, Heart & Shadow, and The Shadow of What Was Lost, again because I owned all of them already. What is really funny is that I had just bought and received that last one from my Barnes & Noble order a few days ago. Oh, and Damian also got the tote bag because I already have one–in that exact same color.

Okay, now for the standard bookhaul segment of the post.

Along with picking up the two books in her Dasreach Council series that I didn’t have, I also was able to buy that lovely Beauty and the Beast stained glass cloth mask from author Josette Reuel as well. We are now required to wear masks while at work, and I wanted to have a selection of cloth masks instead of relying on the disposable paper ones they are going to hand out at work. Though I’m still trying to figure out a good/easy way to be able to get a drink while also working on the factory floor, because the masks make you overheat even faster and that means you dehydrate even more.

Finally I guess it’s time to talk May TBR. I am sort of participating in Moody May, hosted by Kathy from Books and Munches and Destiny from Howling Libraries, and the whole point of Moody May is to read whatever you are in the mood for, which is perfect for mood readers who don’t like TBRs. But I’m sort of a mixed reader, because I enjoy having a somewhat planned TBR and then picking up mood reads to supplement my reading. So, I have made a rather ambitious TBR, which will probably be supplemented by shorter mood reads.

See what I mean? This stack of books is massive. Why am I doing this to myself? Honestly it’s because I seem to pick up thick fantasy reads as the weather gets warmer. I don’t even know how many pages are in these 10 books. So, yeah, I was curious and checked and those ten books are 6,276 pages.

Now that doesn’t include the fact that I’m in the middle of three or four other books that are also around 500 pages each. What can I say? I do love a good lengthy read, especially right now when my weekends are not filled with running around or playing D&D for hours and hours.

April Wrap Up and May TBR Hey all, Dani here. Greetings! I usually like to do these monthly wrap-ups on the first of the month, but I had a couple post office delays with the delivery of my OwlCrate and a Book Loft package, so I decided I would wait one more day since the shipment tracking said I would get them both today.

#Anime #ARC #Book Releases #Books!#Conventions #Gen Con #Manga #manga review #Movies #National Library Week #Reading #Reading Challenge #Tabletop Games #Video Game #Young Adult

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wakraya · 7 years

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Hiveswap Launch

Regarding the post I made yesterday, it was late at night and there’s two things I have thought of while in bed and this morning.

First of all, about the backers paying an average of 200 bucks each, I still absolutely agree that there should’ve been a better communication and respect to the people who payed to have the game funded, and that if the criticism is something other than screaming about January 2017, they’re more than god damn allowed to but, people who paid for the game didn’t just pay to get an inside scoop earlier on what was going on, there were also the backer reward tiers with plushies and card sets and shirts and pins. I’m not saying this makes it okay for them to not get more info about the game, but a lot of people wouldn’t have cared waiting longer for information as long as they eventually got the game, given they already got an incentive for the donating to the project. Add to that the backers that dropped off of Homestuck after in the space between then and the Ending, those who are more patient or say nothing, and you can see the reason I reblog people’s posts and try to shoo them away from being assholes is that in these past months is because I never hear them talk about being backers or the lack of information from the Kickstarter. All they are outraged about is a single date. January 2017, and they’re dwelling on it like flies drawn to shit, when there’s so much more they could be genuinely complaining and wondering about. It just feels childish that they’ve clung to the date and won’t pull themselves away.

Then, there’s been a bunch of people worried about the game coming out but never getting Act 2 because Act 1 wouldn’t become popular and profitable enough and, listen. Listen. To whatever money the game makes we have to add the money Homestuck itself and the merchandise are giving Hussie, if we think the Hiveswap leak back when there was the whole WhatPumpkin employee thing on 4Chan is to be believed, that the Kickstarter money has already been spent entirely and Hussie’s financing the rest of the project off his own pocket. If this is to be believed, and as I’ve stated a bunch of times, I do believe it, then even with a net loss of money from the game, as long as Homestuck ad traffic and merchandise keeps providing money, Hussie will personally keep the project going because it’s a show of love, and only NOT do Act 2, 3 and 4 if there was like, some serious bankrupcy stuff. This is the worst case scenario I can envision.

Now, though, let’s imagine that’s not true, and if the game is good but is a flop because of advertisement/lack of hype or whatever, we’ll never get Act 2 and be left with an unfinished product:

Then buy it and support the project so that it can go on to make Act 2.

But Wak! I hear you saying, what if the game’s not good? What if they don’t make Act 2 even if we pay for it? Well, backers are getting a free digital download. At least a bunch of tiers of them. You aren’t sure the game’s good or not? Wait for them. Wait for people like me who’re buying it in a heartbeat the moment it drops regardless of how the game may end up being. And if you like what you hear and see? Then buy it.

The POINT of an episodic release is to get the weight off the devs’ shoulders when it comes to finishing the entire game, building hype between parts, and gather money while the game’s being worked on, without going the ‘early access’ route with updates and potential glitches, just dividing the game in various ‘chapters’ that honestly fit perfectly with the Homestuck Act structure and Upd8 culture.

You’re excited for the game but you’re afraid it will be a flop? Then support it. You’re afraid the traction of the Homestuck Fandom and the Undertale support won’t be enough to promote it? Then promote it yourself. Spread the news. Word of mouth. Blog about it, livestream it, make youtube videos about it. Post your theories about what may happen and get engrossed in the story and the characters. Art. Fanfiction.

Back then, Homestuck didn’t get so big because of the advertisement towards it. You want to know why it got so big? Because of the fans. Because of them wanting to share it with other people, because of the content flood that made it impossible to exist in the Internet without knowing about the webcomic.

You’re scared that the game won’t be finished properly or promoted properly, but this reluctance is its primary threat. When it comes out, if you enjoy it? Buy it. Talk about it.

Could it be promoted better? Yes. Would there be better ways of going about this? Yeah. But this is what we have right now and this is what we have to work with. We are one of the primary advertisement devices for Hiveswap right now, for better or for worse. And as I’ve said before, with my hopes put that this is a project of passion and that it will be good and worth your time, I’m going to be the first one to praise it and share it after playing through the entirety of Act 1.

#Hiveswap #Homestuck #WhatPumpkin #Andrew Hussie #Wakraya #sometipsygnostalgic

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