#for legal reasons this isn’t actual torture

[here-there-were-dragons]

there’s something deeply wrong with the fact that if i just simply decided to walk around everywhere on all fours all day, and did absolutely nothing else differently, i would be guaranteed to have the cops called on me and be put back in a psych ward with at least 5 new diagnosis by the end of the day.

walking around on all fours isn’t even something i do or would want to do. it would destroy my arthritic-ass spine. but there’s something deeply, rage-inducingly fucked up about the fact that even something that small is enough for this society to deem it morally acceptable and necessary to dissapear you into fucking conversion therapy torture jail indefinitely and saddle you with life-ruining legal tags forever “for your and everyone’s safety”!

just commenting on this as being fucked up could very easily be enough to get me the same treatment if someone decided they wanted to! it’s not like anyone’s going to stop some psych person from deciding that this is totally real undeniable freudian slip 100% true we promise you guys evidence that i’m some kind of feral mentally degenerate personimal mindlessly beholden to some illogical instinct to crawl around and bite good normal god-fearing real people because CLEARLY you’d have to be crazy yourself and/or want to DO the thing yourself to defend this UNCOMFORTABLE THING, right? nobody could just think it’s fucked up how we treat doing (abnormal thing) without being a Secret Monster themselves, REAL people obviously know unquestioningly why it’s bad, you just want to be allowed to give in to your corrupted malformed wrong EVIL base instincts that you definitely have (INSTEAD of a conscious mind with any valid logical thoughts or worthwhile human experiences in it) because i said so and i’m The Expert so everything i say is true and right!

i can’t even figure out where to fit in the bit about how fucked it is that if you did anything “abnormal” like that literally everyone automatically assumes you’re going to be dangerous and violent about it. that if someone decides to go around on all fours then CLEARLY they’re going to randomly bite GOOD HEALTHY NORMAL REAL people for no reason. it’s like people can’t comprehend the idea of any even slightly deviant behavior that isn’t violence and just assume if anything even slightly weird’s going on it’s moving in the direction of mindless bloodshed-of good normal people’s blood, especially, personally, obviously. human-shaped things come in “actual person” and “mindless rabid horrordemon that desires only real human’s blood and pain” and as far as they’re concerned everything that even slightly inhabits, leans towards, or vaguely reminds them of the second category is functionally identical and will inevitably attack real humans the same way-for literally no reason beyond a cosmic ontological sort of Wrongness and Emptiness Of Real Thought And Soul-if allowed to exist in their field of view longer than thirty seconds.

#depression-induced showerthoughts #misanthropic doomerposting hours

[feministdragon]

In light of the bullshit being put out by the UN Women organization, insisting that men should be legally recognized as women, let’s look at the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, and see how many of these human rights women actually possess.

Of course it has to be acknowledged this list of human rights is fundamentally a list of ideals rather than the reality on the ground, and often even men in the world don’t possess every one of these rights.   However, i’d like to point out exactly how few of these rights women have.   

On a side note, the UN website takes pains to point out that if Hansa Mehta of India hadn’t spoken up they wouldn’t have even thought to put ‘all human beings’ instead of men.  They say this to celebrate Hansa Mehta and to pat themselves on the back about their inclusivity, but isn’t that honestly shameful?  That they had to be told to include women??? more than HALF of HUMANITY, in a UNIVERSAL declaration of human rights?   

Anyways, let's get into this.

Article 1 All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

So right out of the gate, in Article 1, we can see what women are stripped of: Women are not afforded equal dignity and rights, neither before the law or within culture, not in any country or place in the world.  

And then there’s this stupid ‘spirit of brotherhood’.  Yeah, ‘siblinghood’ sounds weird, but is there literally no other way to express the connections humanity owes each other than through male relationship?

Article 2 Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty.

This is a fantasy for all human beings, but yes, at least we’re finally talking about all human beings.

Article 3 Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.

This is attainable by many men currently, but what woman in the world today has ‘security of person’?  What woman alive today does not live with the threat of rape?

Article 4 No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.

‘Unpaid labor’, or women’s constant, unacknowledged, unpaid labor in care of the men, children and elderly in their lives.  Is that not servitude, if not outright slavery?

Article 5 No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

How many women in the western ‘free’ world are anally raped and choked during sex on a regular basis, without their permission?  How many women are forced into degrading clothing and practices of appearance?  How many women are belittled and dehumanized on a daily basis, in conversation, media, religious practice, culture?

Article 6 Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law.

Article 7 All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.

Barely, barely anywhere in the world do we have legal recognition of ourselves as human beings. Not even in the US is women’s humanity defended in the law. Women are not explicitly named as being human beings in the US legal code, but rather are only inferred to be a subset to men.

Article 8 Everyone has the right to an effective remedy by the competent national tribunals for acts violating the fundamental rights granted him by the constitution or by law.

‘Effective remedy and national tribunal’ against rape when?  ‘Effective remedy and national tribunal’ against porn (filmed violence upon women) and prostitution (paid violence upon women) when?   ‘Effective remedy and national tribunal’ against child marriage, FGM etc when?

Article 9 No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile.

Article 10 Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him.

Article 11 1. Everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law in a public trial at which he has had all the guarantees necessary for his defence. 2. No one shall be held guilty of any penal offence on account of any act or omission which did not constitute a penal offence, under national or international law, at the time when it was committed. Nor shall a heavier penalty be imposed than the one that was applicable at the time the penal offence was committed.

These are still effectively fantasy in many parts of the world, for both men and women. 

Article 12 No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.

This is troublesome in a world where men’s honor is dependent upon the socially compliant behaviour of his female relatives, but also when will we begin to defend women from attacks upon her honour and reputation?

Article 13 1. Everyone has the right to freedom of movement and residence within the borders of each state. 2. Everyone has the right to leave any country, including his own, and to return to his country.

In a world where some women cannot even leave their home, much less their own country without male guardianship, this is a farce.

Article 14 1. Everyone has the right to seek and to enjoy in other countries asylum from persecution. 2. This right may not be invoked in the case of prosecutions genuinely arising from non-political crimes or from acts contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations.

Article 15 1. Everyone has the right to a nationality. 2. No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his nationality nor denied the right to change his nationality.

This is also unattainable for many men.

Article 16 1. Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution. 2. Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses. 3. The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.

1 and 2 obviously not attainable in much of the world.  But also, why in 3. is ‘family’ the natural and fundamental group unit of society, and not 'tribe'?  That is an ideological choice that enshrines the subservience of women to men, and strangely dissonant to the organization of our species in the 200,000 years of our existence.

Article 17 1. Everyone has the right to own property alone as well as in association with others. 2. No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his property.

Again, this is one of those laws that is on the books in my country and many other countries but is culturally ignored and actively worked around, to the detriment of women’s financial independence.

Article 18 Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.

Article 19 Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

Article 20 1. Everyone has the right to freedom of peaceful assembly and association. 2. No one may be compelled to belong to an association.

Few women enjoy these luxuries, as they are expected to conform to their family’s and husband’s thoughts, beliefs, religion, ideology

Article 21 1. Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country, directly or through freely chosen representatives. 2. Everyone has the right of equal access to public service in his country. 3. The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections which shall be by universal and equal suffrage and shall be held by secret vote or by equivalent free voting procedures.

Look at the low, low numbers of women participating in government around the globe, and then look me in the eye and tell me women have these rights in practice.

Article 22 Everyone, as a member of society, has the right to social security and is entitled to realization, through national effort and international co-operation and in accordance with the organization and resources of each State, of the economic, social and cultural rights indispensable for his dignity and the free development of his personality.

yup, pretty much nobody has these

Article 23 1. Everyone has the right to work, to free choice of employment, to just and favourable conditions of work and to protection against unemployment. 2. Everyone, without any discrimination, has the right to equal pay for equal work. 3. Everyone who works has the right to just and favourable remuneration ensuring for himself and his family an existence worthy of human dignity, and supplemented, if necessary, by other means of social protection. 4. Everyone has the right to form and to join trade unions for the protection of his interests.

Women recieving equal pay for equal work when?  

also ‘himself and his family’?    ahhhhh you guys forgot women are people again, didn’t you

Article 24 Everyone has the right to rest and leisure, including reasonable limitation of working hours and periodic holidays with pay.

Please see Article 4 above, also women’s 'rest and leisure' when?

Article 25 1. Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control. 2. Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance. All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection.

We’re far away from both of these.  But also why are these in the same article? 

Article 26 1. Everyone has the right to education. Education shall be free, at least in the elementary and fundamental stages. Elementary education shall be compulsory. Technical and professional education shall be made generally available and higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit. 2. Education shall be directed to the full development of the human personality and to the strengthening of respect for human rights and fundamental freedoms. It shall promote understanding, tolerance and friendship among all nations, racial or religious groups, and shall further the activities of the United Nations for the maintenance of peace. 3. Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children.

We’re also far from the attainment of this one, but also, isn’t there some fundamental conflict between 3 and the others?   Parents often choose to invest in their sons and ignore their daughters, the UN is fine with this?  Parents can have the right to discriminate among their children?

Article 27 1. Everyone has the right freely to participate in the cultural life of the community, to enjoy the arts and to share in scientific advancement and its benefits. 2. Everyone has the right to the protection of the moral and material interests resulting from any scientific, literary or artistic production of which he is the author.

Womens’ contributions to science and culture fully acknowledged when?  Women’s entitlement to the fruits of their intellectual labor actually protected when?

Article 28 Everyone is entitled to a social and international order in which the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration can be fully realized.

Article 29 1. Everyone has duties to the community in which alone the free and full development of his personality is possible. 2. In the exercise of his rights and freedoms, everyone shall be subject only to such limitations as are determined by law solely for the purpose of securing due recognition and respect for the rights and freedoms of others and of meeting the just requirements of morality, public order and the general welfare in a democratic society. 3. These rights and freedoms may in no case be exercised contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations.

Article 30 Nothing in this Declaration may be interpreted as implying for any State, group or person any right to engage in any activity or to perform any act aimed at the destruction of any of the rights and freedoms set forth herein.

Yeah, we’re also not here yet, but again, ‘his rights and freedoms’: you guys kinda forgot women are people here too.  

Yes, this document was written in 1948.  Yes, it’s hard to update the texts of documents like this without opening a whole can of worms.  Yes, even men aren't guaranteed a number of these rights. But this document clearly shows us where women’s rights are lacking, and UNWomen, you’ve got a whole lot of nerve to ignore your real tasks in favor of ‘empowering’ a group of men at the expense of what little rights and protections women even have.

#feministdragon #women's rights #women's rights are human rights #women's liberation #radical feminism #radfem #feminist #radfems #UNWomen #UN women #United Nations #human rights #UDHR #Universal Declaration of Human Rights

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Tony Stark

The whole fucking point of this character is that he is an arrogant billionaire arms dealer who realizes that he Kind Of Sucks and consequently spends the next fifteen years trying to Not Suck to mixed but ultimately decent results. On one hand you’ve got the people who act like hes terrible and like I get it I would hate him in real life too but this is a fictional character and you have to admit theres more going here. On the OTHER hand are his legions of fans who insist that he has never done anything wrong ever, he is the smartest nicest little boy who isn’t actually even a little arrogant, and actually everyone who ever went against him even for understandable reasons (incl. very morally upstanding Captain America) is Evil, actually. I say this as a fan of the character: PLEASE you can like this man and have him suck a little at the same time!!!!! I am begging you!!!! Help!!!!

Literally a millionaire who started out manufacturing weapons for the military. Was then chased by the consequences of his actions while not making any sort of reparations. Of course stayed a millionaire the whole time. Then did not communicate with the team about making a sentient "suit of armor" that turned into a massive slaughter bot. People claim that this should be excused as a result of PTSD but is his responsibility to seek out help and he most certainly had access to whatever treatment he could choose as a -in his words- "millionaire playboy philanthropist". Then supported an accords rife with human rights violations that he was of course exempt from - and refused to hear any of the others rebuttals to it - like they were not millionaires and did not have access to entire legal teams that would work to exonerate them. Then exposes Clint's family and farm which he had revealed to Tony in confidence and kept secret from any authority to protect them. Then Tony spends the rest of Civil War trying to straight up murder Bucky - ignoring that it had already been established that Bucky had no agency nor autonomy in his time as the Winter Soldier, in doing so ignored the Accords he had advocated for. He then kidnapped a 16 year old child - who he did not tell why he was taking him - in direct contradiction with the accords and then allowed for Steve's team to be held in a maximum security prison with no trial. He then proceeded to refuse any sort of communication with Steve, resulting in a delay of him defending Earth from Thanos' invasion. After this - despite his failure playing part in the deaths of half the universe, and the child in front of him he treated as a son - he refused to rectify his failure because he had a family now - ignoring the literal entire universe who had lost their families. Upon his death he was treated as a hero and the one who saved the universe, despite his actions being that of hubris.

The Darkling

Okay so this guy is the main bad guy of the series. He made “the fold” this barren wasteland of darkness and monsters dividing the land, causing like hundreds of thousands of people to die. He killed his mom. He psychologically manipulated his girlfriend (like, he caused her to hallucinate and a whole bunch of other crazy stuff). He made one of his followers (a young girl) use her body to slowly poison the king over time. He started a cult. He did a LOT of crazy stuff. However, we do see his backstory of him as a kid, and learn that he did all this in the name of equality, so people would stop torturing and killing the ‘grisha’ or the witches/magic users. Later, he fakes his own death and starts a cult worshipping him and acts as the leader of the cult, going by his old name Aleksander. He is a very complicated character. So tell my why everyone thirsts after him and is like “he did nothing wrong” HELLO?! He is NOT your poor little meow meow he is complies please please don’t sanitize him

#misrepresented morally grey #bracket a #did nothing wrong bracket #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #tony stark #grishaverse #shadow and bone #the darkling #general kirigan

[stanfordsweater]

hallo ava, happy wincest wednesday. in honor of the return of your name, how much do you think late-seasons sam actually thinks about his college years? and does he ever share that with dean?

a week late but here we go!

we know sam considered finishing his degree as late as season eight, so it’s easy to fill in the blanks and assume he did some online credits, but i think that the chaos of the trials, gadreel, and then the mark and amara put it on the backburner. by the end of season eleven, sam and dean have really settled into their relationship in a way we haven’t seen before in the series. i don’t think that s11 sam thinks about it the way s8 sam did-- he’s boxed up his college aspirations with amelia and a “real life” and tucked it away in his head, as he does with so many things. (not to mention that i’m pretty sure sam winchester is legally dead or a wanted criminal after the leviathan drama. does that void your college credits? lmk)

stanford represented something for sam at 18 that isn’t there anymore for sam at 35. it’s a lifetime away from the multiple apocalypses he’s weathered. i think he turns it over in his head the same way he does jess-- he grieves her, he regrets the path that led him where he is, but he knows that if he had a chance to do it again, he would still pick dean. and that’s the crux of it; having dean means not going back, and i have a hard time imagining sam sitting in a lecture hall and not feeling a huge sense of alienation from the people around him.

that being said, once they’re older and settled in the life they have together, i do think sam could bring up his college regrets with dean without dean reacting like he does in season 8! whether that’s after amara, in the grace period between 15.19 and 15.20, in between all of the torture in season 12... there’s a different context to your brother sharing a story of the first time he smoked weed with his roommate when you’re both living together in a creepy bunker vs. him talking about it as his Real Life a few months after you took him away from it. as much as some people hate to admit it, dean is more reasonable than people tend to portray him. in the late seasons, he wants sam to be happy, he just wants sam to be happy with him in his life. if sam wanted to talk about college, i can see dean feeling insecure about it, but he’d get over it and listen because he’s not a psychopath. he might also start stress-eating, but who can blame him?

tl;dr i think in the late-seasons settled era, dean would appreciate sam sharing those stories with him. i think sam would find a kind of relief in it, too-- so much of those years were tainted with the knowledge of how much of his life was manipulated by demons, that brady set him up with jess just to kill her when sam “needed the push,” and being able to talk about the normal coming of age shit with dean would do a lot to lay those regrets to rest.

#tl;dr again sam is a thinker but he's not actually a wallower #[slaps hood] you can fit so much regret in this baby #and he'll think about it quietly for a while and then look at his brother #and tuck those thoughts away in a safe #anyway thank you <3 i hope any of this makes sense #.asks #zmediaoutlet #also yes i found the ask! it turns out when you save an ask to drafts it goes chronologically #based on when the ask was sent #so i just had to scroll a little #wincest wednesday

[gsirvitor]

To be trans just means to identify with the gender identity not associated most often with your sex. There is no need to transition to be trans. No one who actually has gender dysphoria can grow out of it. Anyone who “stops having gender dysphoria” simply never had it in the first place. No one under 18 can legally get GRS in the US. Puberty blockers aren’t a bad thing. Hormone blockers being used to preform chemical castration isn’t a valid reason to be against using them to treat gender dysphoria. No one is mutilating children, both because GRS is not used to treat children and GRS isn’t mutilation. Puberty blockers reduce the risk of suicide in trans kids. There no reason to ban their use in trans kids. Helping trans kids isn’t an “attack on children”. You’re fucking evil and your worldview is going to result in the completely preventable suicides of countless innocent children. People like you will be responsible for north deaths than the Nashville shooter ever could have been. I hope you get kidnapped, then raped and tortured. Something like having all your nails ripped out. Then all your fingers frozen/burned off. Then having all of your teeth ripped out while having each nerve pulled and poked. Maybe a little waterboarding. Someone like you who genuinely believes that causing kids to commit suicide is okay / wants to pass legislation that causes kids to commit suicide deserves nothing less.

Trans means across, beyond, through, on the other side of, to go beyond," meaning you cannot be Trans without going from one state to another, this means you cannot be Trans without going through a Transition.

I don't make the rules with language, I simply enforce them.

Eleven studies have been conducted looking at whether gender dysphoria persists throughout childhood. On average 80-94% of children grow out of their Dysphoria and do not continue into adulthood believing they were born into the wrong body.

Claiming they never had Dysphoria because them growing out of it goes against your narrative doesn't prove they never had it, it only proves you're desperate enough to slander children.

No, many children in the US have gotten surgery to lop off their breasts, or have been given puberty blockers and so on.

In fact the Boston children's hospital has been attacked over their willingness to perform these surgeries on children, just because Right wing states are just now banning this does not mean it didn't happen.

Anything used to chemically castrate prisoners should go nowhere near a child.

If you're digging a cavity in your crotch and lining it with stomach lining to mimic a vagina, I'm sorry, that's not a vagina, that's a wound trying to close, stop dilating and accept you've irreversibly mutilated yourself, let the wound heal.

Actually, suicide rates neither drop or rise before or after the use of puberty blockers, it's a steady 41-52% suicide rate regardless of what we do, so I'll not be pressured into letting you have access to children over the hollow threat of suicide.

There's every reason to ban the use of these drugs, one, it'll allow children to develop normally.

Well, since children can't be Trans, then yes, trying to Trans them is an attack on them.

My worldview has been the same one that has helped children lead normal and healthy lives, time tested too, strange that the supposed epidemic of mass suicide never became a threat until your ideological movement wanted access to kids.

Oh no, I'm gonna be responsible for every Trans suicide going forward? That's fine, if you want to blame me go ahead, I'll still sleep quite soundly.

And there you go, all the goodwill out the window, I would never wish rape, torture and death upon anyone, you're mentally ill, get some professional help.

[dykesynthezoid]

Ok bc my brain tortures me with Thoughts and Ideas… Here is how I think the general narrative layout of a Arthurian-esque Samtory story would go (this is by nature of course partially inspired by @leohttt ‘s samtory Robin Hood AU bc. Medieval folklore and all that):

- Kreese was the previous King of Camelot, and with no direct heir or relation he decided to form an elite coalition of knights (it’s the Cobras. Obviously) and whoever he judged the most worthy he would make his legal heir. This ends up being Johnny.

- Daniel, main-character-syndrome-haver that he is, does have some Arthur-esque elements to him but specifically in a more sword-in-the-stone way. Aka, he’s not of noble birth (not even secretly, in this instance), he’s just some scrappy kid who meets a really cool but often cryptic old guy which leads him on a whole adventure to change Camelot forever.

- Aka this kid moves to Camelot, manages to immediately piss off its most elite knights, and gets so invested in this conflict that he’s like hey this King sucks. We should get rid of him

- Guy who like, just got here leads rebellion to depose Kreese bc why not

- This entire conflict still leads to Kreese trying to kill Johnny bc of course it does!

- Johnny and the Cobras are unable to stop Daniel and his uprising from ousting Kreese; but, after Kreese tried to kill Johnny, and now that he’s gone, Daniel, of course, shows mercy. He and Johnny end up coming to an agreement that the legal line of succession is still valid and Johnny takes the throne, although with diminished executive power, which he’s fine with bc he’s actually majorly insecure and terrified of fucking up.

- Daniel becomes one of his most prominent advisors and they’re like. Obviously pretty close.

- Johnny is still, uh. Pretty fucked up in the head from everything though. As they get older his drinking worsens, plague and famine and other disasters exacerbate his already fragile self-worth as ruler, and his insecurities grow deeper.

- Eventually he ends up having an affair with a commoner that leads to her becoming pregnant, and at this point he just. Can’t do it anymore. So he literally skips town and leaves Daniel in charge.

- Daniel, newly thrust into a role as regent, does his best to figure out what the fuck to do about all of this. He finds out about Johnny’s affair, and realizing Johnny may have an heir, starts the task of looking for where this commoner might have gone and where her kid is.

- (By this time he’s married Amanda and had Sam already ofc).

- It takes years for the new circle of knights to find Robby and Shannon, and when they do Robby 100% tries to rob them first.

- He’s still a kid at this point; and the adjustment from peasant to royal life is difficult, to say the least.

- He and Sam grow very close, though, practically seeing each other as siblings.

- Sam’s role is… complicated, by all of this. She’s the first-born of the man actually ruling the kingdom; but she’s not the heir. Robby is, and once he’s old enough he’ll take the throne.

- She becomes a knight, along with Hawk and Miguel and Aisha. She wants to be useful; wants there to be a reason for her to hold the nebulous station she does.

- She also definitely has prophetic dreams and visions, but she keeps that quiet because having magic isn’t something you’re really supposed to admit to.

- Yes we are employing the Merlin-style “magic is outlawed” trope, for flavor. The harsher punishments and most extreme conditions were under Kreese, but even after, the ban was not completely lifted. Both Johnny and Daniel’s positions as rulers have been complicated and often fragile; neither of them had the absolute power to really change something like that, especially when so much of the nobility still views magic as destructive and evil.

- Finally, Robby’s about to ascend the throne. In the meantime he’s been betrothed to a noble’s daughter from a fief they’ve been trying to build an alliance with for some time.

- On the very day his betrothed is set to arrive, Robby stumbles upon the information that Daniel has actually known exactly where Johnny is hiding out for the last ~20 years, and is uh. Understandably upset and feels betrayed.

- Overwhelmed with anger and hurt, he storms out of the castle and disappears into the wood, declaring if Daniel won’t tell him exactly where to find his father, he’ll go find him himself.

- Cue Tory arriving in Camelot, already not exactly happy but trying to make the best of things, being married off to a future king and all that, but he’s Not Even Fucking There.

- His surrogate sister is, though, and she’s annoying as fuck.

- And totally not super hot or anything.

- Oh, and also Terry is a witch-king and warlord with an army of mercenaries living a couple kingdoms over.

- Also when I said Daniel ousted Kreese, did you think he was gonna not still be alive? Bc of course he is. Hanging with his evil sorcerer king bestie.

- “Didn’t Kreese outlaw magic?” Yeah. What about it.

- Kreese: Magic is evil and treacherous and disgusting

Everyone else: Isn’t your boyfriend literally a sorcerer?

Kreese: I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Kill yourself

- Oh and Demetri is Hawk’s squire and manservant who is like. A beginner wizard who is really fucking bad at hiding the fact that he’s magical but Hawk is too dense to notice.

- There’d be a whole plot line where Moon gets accused of witchcraft and Hawk, indoctrinated by anti-magic beliefs, fails to defend her and agrees to carry out the order to exile her, saying she’s just lucky the punishment wasn’t harsher. And Demetri has to watch that from the background going “UH OH. HMM. UH OH”

- (Moon lady of the lake storyline mayhaps???)

- Piper is the leader of a group of bandits. Bc I said so.

- Aisha is a knight but also a scholar with an interest in alchemy, which puts her in a complicated position as far as the whole no-magic thing

- Carmen, as a healer, is also inevitably accused of witchcraft (even though she’s not actually magic)

- This is extremely difficult for Miguel and furthers the rift forming between the more tolerant knights (himself, Sam, eventually Aisha, and a couple others) and the more militant, “bring back the old days when we put sorcerers to death” knights (many of the show’s Cobra Kais, including Hawk; at least, for a while, I assume he gets his head out of his ass eventually)

- As soon as news gets out that Robby is missing tensions skyrocket

- Amid all of this though Sam and Tory are just. Having an insane amount of sexual tension, even though that’s like really NOT helping the whole “dangerous state of political unrest” thing that’s going on

- Sam and some of the other knights decide to set out to track Robby down and bring him home; Tory argues her way onto the expedition by requesting they drop her off at her estate to visit her mother and brother on the way

- On the way there, though, they’re attacked by mercenaries, and Sam realizes with growing horror and rage that Tory sold them out.

- Listen. Tory’s mom is sick, and the state of her fiefdom is fragile. Everyone wants their resources, and if they knew the lady of the land was ill, that it was unprotected, they would all immediately swoop in and carve it to pieces. Tory can’t let this happen. The problem is there is someone who knows about her mother’s condition, and that’s Silver.

- So she’s stuck with him. But he promises that if she plays along, he’ll help her find a healer to save her mother. He installs his mercenaries on her land to “guard” it and her manor, but she knows it’s also a threat.

- Tory decides she doesn’t have a choice. She does what she has to.

- It was Silver who devised the plan to set up the betrothal, although no one in Camelot knew of his involvement.

- Sam and her knights are taken into custody by Silver’s men and brought back to his lair. Sam does not stop glaring at the back of Tory’s head the entire time.

- Once there, Sam is surprised to find Robby is there as well, and not entirely unwillingly. (He truly. Left Camelot and fell into their clutches almost immediately). He tells her Kreese is the only person who’s ever been willing to talk openly with him about his dad. He wants to hear them out, wants to play it cool.

- So Sam is having a tough time. Understandably.

- Does she 100% sneak into Tory’s bedroom, telling herself it’s so she can get even or get answers and definitely has nothing to do with the fact that looking at Tory makes her feel like her insides are melting into very hot, very gay slime? Of course she does!

- When Sam and her knights make their escape, Sam manages to drag Tory back with her, but Robby refuses to come with them, overwhelmed and scared and desperate for stability.

- As Silver’s armies muster and Camelot is torn into civil war, Sam has to make the decision to defy both her father and her future king, and what does that make her? What does that mean for a knight? What if the only way to keep Camelot safe is to accept the burden of leading it?

- Also she might’ve stolen said future king’s future bride. So. That’s happening too.

#it’s been 24 hours and look what this idea has morphed into… #cobra kai #samtory #samantha larusso #tory nichols #robby keene #woe unto the red dragon

[electricbluebutterflies]

Helnik + meeting the “family” (crows found family vibes…)

Or, in which none of the Crows actually want to go ice skating but Nina is Like That. Pretty sure I've never written the other babes before so fingers crossed my characterization is okay? Modern AU, PG-ish, also on ao3.

There are only so many ways this could go wrong. Matthias is pretty sure he’s about to find all of them.

Nina had seemed like a minor miracle when they met a few months ago, which is objectively a weird thing to say about someone who accidentally ran over his foot with her moped but at least it was an accident and she decided that was enough reason to insert herself into his life on some vague justification that two broken bones meant she owed him a bunch of favors and… honestly he’s not sure how that turned into a sorta relationship where they make out on his couch a lot but haven’t discussed feelings, but it did. And one of the perks, if he’s honest with himself, is that there is no intimidating family on her side to eventually meet.

Or, well, not one she’s related to by blood or legal technicalities. That may make this worse.

What Nina has, instead of a more traditional family-of-origin situation, is a squad of misfits who… as Matthias understands the situation, and it was a little hard to focus given she thought this was an okay conversation to have while both of them were minimally clothed, had originally formed without her and dragged her into the fold during a brief time she worked with one of them. The former coworker, the way Nina tells it, is all the people skills of the group; the other two are harder to socialize and can’t figure out the concept of mutual pining, and-

Point being, Matthias has heard too many stories about these people to not want to meet them, and it was at least partially his idea, something something it would be nice for all of the main elements of Nina’s life to integrate and he’s not trying to claim space that isn’t his but if her friends are going to hate him he’d like to know now, and-

Nina, enthusiastic disaster that she is, decided ice skating would be a low-pressure activity. Nina will somehow not get blamed for any of this. He’d hate her if he wasn’t falling in love with her.

He gets there early and isn’t totally sure what he’s keeping an eye out for – Nina herself runs perpetually ten minutes late for everything, and trying to get adequate physical descriptions of her friends out of her was a losing battle, she wasn’t even sure how many people were along for the ride here and-

After what seems like half a lifetime but is really more like five minutes, a couple who look around his age approaches – holding hands, Matthias points out in his mind, trying to judge anyone else’s relationship status is mean and he’s trying to do better but these two are obviously a thing – and he vaguely remembers Nina saying something about one of her people having a flamboyant fashion sense and-

“Matthias, yeah?” the one who lines up with that description says. The aesthetic is glam-rock meets steampunk and Matthias is honestly not sure how anyone can look at themselves in a mirror and still go outside in that many colors at once, but somehow it’s working, and-

“Yeah. I didn’t catch names, Nina was kinda…”

“Trying to protect you from us. Or us from you, I’m not sure-“

“Jes-“ the presumed boyfriend says, and this one has kicked-puppy energy and Matthias may already have a favorite in the group even though he hasn’t met the others yet and-

“Yeah, sorry. I’m Jesper, this is Wylan, Kaz and Inej are probably fighting in her car right now and-“

“Sounds fun,” Matthias mutters, wondering what he’s gotten himself into. His own social circle is limited, to put it politely; he didn’t go back home after his stint in the military, and he has a dog and who needs more than that, and-

“They’re great, really, but I think Nina picked this activity to torture them and nobody can say no to her so…”

“I’ve noticed.”

“She showed us the antlers she put on your dog. Even animals aren’t immune.”

Matthias likes this part of the group, he decides. Jesper doesn’t seem able to shut up and the idea of him and Nina in the same space given their overlapping tendencies… this one is the former coworker, Matthias figures out without asking, and a rambling story about the people one encounters while tending bar on major holidays confirms it, and-

Nina herself is the next to show up, looking gorgeous as ever and yeah Matthias is developing feelings alright, and she’s not subtle with the PDA and he’d let her do anything, and-

“Did our cryptids bail on us?” she asks, turning her attention to Jesper. “Or are they…”

“Always safer not to know. If they’re late, there’s reasons.”

Nina gives the rest of the group an annoyed look. “Is this even an okay activity for… I should’ve asked, I really should’ve-“

“They’re going to be clinging to each other anyways. And probably the wall. I’m not worried. If they even show up.”

“How damn hard is it to text people, I swear to-“

Her voice cuts off as Jesper switches back into an even louder mode of enthusiasm, waving to someone in the distance. Matthias turns and sees what must be the missing people approaching, this duo a little harder to read as a couple but there’s definitely some kind of connection going on there, and he’s left standing still while Nina and Jesper decide to meet their other friends halfway, him and the stray boyfriend and-

“How long have you been involved in this…”

“Close to a year,” Wylan shrugs. “And I’m not used to all of them at once either.”

“Is that supposed to be reassuring?”

“Some families are hard to integrate into. I don’t know. You’re here. That’s at least a chance.”

A chance for what, Matthias isn’t sure, but-

The other two – Kaz and Inej, he reminds himself, attaching names – join the circle and both seem to eye him like prey, eyes searching separately for weakness. Matthias isn’t scared of them, exactly, but he feels like he should be, and-

“So you’re the one Nina tried to kill?” Inej asks, and there’s something almost playful in her voice that he can’t place.

“She ran over my foot. Total accident.”

“Welcome. I wouldn’t say we require scars, but…”

“Nina hasn’t brought any of her flings into the fray,” Kaz adds, decidedly more guarded. “First time for everything. If we all survive this.”

“There are only so many places I can take you people in December,” Nina points out, arms crossed under her chest in a way that is just unfair in public. “None of us have ever gotten kicked out of a pop-up ice rink, so I thought…”

“First time for everything,” Kaz repeats. “Now, are we doing this or not?”

Matthias would like to think he has an advantage over the rest of the group – he grew up in that part of Minnesota, played hockey in high school and everything – and sure enough, even though it’s been a few years since he’s been on skates, he’s still at least decent. Nina is anything but, and she clings to him in a way that even he can justify because otherwise she’ll hit the ground every thirty seconds, but she’s clearly enjoying herself. The others…

Matthias doesn’t know them yet. It may be years before he feels like he knows them. He wants that time. He wants to see what they’re all like in a more comfortable environment – it is made clear that none of them thought this outing was a good idea, with the possible exception of poor Wylan who apparently has some boundary issues and a need for attention that the others are trying to help him minimize and live beyond – and maybe next time they’ll get that. Maybe next time…

“Having fun?” Nina asks after a while, leaning up to kiss Matthias’s cheek.

“Yeah. I am.”

“They like you.”

“You sure?”

“It’s been half an hour and no one’s threatened you yet. They like you.”

“Next time we should do something where we can bring Sigyn.”

“Do you really want my friends around your dog?”

“Who can say no to her?”

Nina smiles, and she glows sometimes and it’s captivating. “No wonder I get along with her, we’re so similar…”

“You’re cuter,” Matthias says, kissing the top of her head.

“I’ve been compared to worse. And she is a winter dog…”

“Next time it snows we could do… something. All of us.”

“I can’t believe it, you’re actually suggesting activities that involve other people, I have corrupted you.”

“Just a little.”

If this is what he’s gotten into, he thinks, maybe they’ll be okay.

#ebf writes fic #helnik

[cannibalesbianphilic]

human meat isn’t as bad as human shit imo. shit is literally disgusting and it’s l i t e r a l SHIT!! meat is just meat and if you’re into human meat then it’s just what you’re into, i guess. the murder part is where it gets immoral for some but 🤷‍♀️. ~in defence of mort’s rare compulsions~… people kill others all the time legally. for example, in the US the death penalty is legal and the people who work there and have done for a long time, probably have no internal struggle killing people. abattoir workers (who are exposed constantly to the suffering and torture of innocent animals) still work there w no issue.

loads of people aren’t vegetarian and actually have the opinion that creating animal life to torture and then kill- is right. loads of people avoid the moral argument surrounding veganism and vegetarianism because they “don’t want to think about it”. loads of people buy cheap clothes to save a few £$€ when they know full well, human slaves or poor people working in sweatshops in third world countries are being tortured to make them. so many people buy the meat that is treated poorly to save money. people don’t kill/ shoot their own animals because they could “never kill an animal” yet, they collude with the animal torture industry every day. there are ways to promote the better treatment of animals, yet people ignore this. and murder is treated like this unreal awful inhumane crime when in reality most female murderers either have mental health issues (that if were fixed, they wouldn’t murder. so they are reedeemable) or have had unimaginably fucked up lives/ abusive situations! (some are sick, child r*pist p****hile murderers. but still i’m talking about slay murderers not morally indefensible ones.) it’s sick! casey anthony killing that baby (undeveloped brain, equivalent to a dog in some ways, would have in time become a fully developed person. but abortions happen all the time and they would have become people? i’m not saying ch*ld murder is okay its not okay at all TBH they’ve done nothing wrong. i’m just saying from an outside perspective it’s better than… other things ??? idk) to party is no different than people letting their (nice kind amazing lovely, not abusive shit) parents (fully developed brain, aware of everything) die and rot in homes so they don’t have so deal with them because they can’t even be BOTHERED with the people who have given them love and happiness etc. i’m going way off track here this was originally an ask about you eating shit omg. anyway, people are hypocritical cowards!! yeah. i think that was the point i wanted to make for some reason.

im went way off topic sorry. anyway, shit is gross my darling i thought you would have a more refined palate.??! if you’re okay with shit then are you okay with digging up 6month dead decomposed bodies to eat? do you eat soil? worms? would you even bother cooking the ***** meat you eventually… have in your possession? please say you season your food.

sorry if this is overwhelming 🫥

Nah this isn't overwhelming I'm glad to see that I interest you. Sorry to disappoint but I am very digusting human being and my pallet when it comes to people is not refined AT ALL. My pallet for normal food is refined though. I don't like seasoning my food cause I can't really handle spice but I do enjoy salting my food. I would L O V E to eat a decomposed 6 month old corpse. I just know the flesh would be mucky and gooky and a nasty colour and it be so slimy to the touch and the texture in my mouth would feel atrcious but I would be sososoososososoos happy. I love worms and I want them to live so I would never kill them. They're so cute and nice and deserve to live unlike people who are all evil and all need to die. The day humanity dies is the day joy can exist again. Soil isn't human and it doesn't seem like it would taste good so I have no interest in it. Besides lots of schizoprenic people have a fascination with human shit and have PICA (a condition where you have the urge to eat things that are not food) so I don't get why it's so suprising. The main example that comes to mind is Alb3rt F1sh (censoring his name so random people don't find this post) and he ate human shit and had a fascination with cannibalism and eating children. To be fair PICA is a rare condition and most of us who have it don't discuss it and keep it to ourselves so I guess that's why it's suprising. Human meat is obviously not as bad as human shit because meat is food and shit is not food. Also I loved reading "~in defence of mort's rare compulsions~" I'd love to hire to be my lawyer if I ever get arrested. What you said about human hyopcrisy and human moral and huma double standars was so interesting and so true and I loved reading it. The only part I'm kind of iffy on is comparing abortion to murder because murder is killing someone who's already born without the mother's or the victims consent while abortion is preventing a life with the mothers consent. Sorry for the late response I did want to respond to this as soon as I got it but I got distracted.

#asks

[theeeveetamer]

Scarlet Blaze Liveblog: Chapter 7

Spilers under the cut, as per usual!

Explore

Oh right we recruited Ignatz didn’t we

I find it interesting that thus far no one we’ve recruited has been for any ideological reason. Ashe comes because he doesn’t want to kill his dad, Lorenz comes because his family decides to waffle for survival, and Ignatz surrenders and then later comes along because he’s working for Lorenz.

FLIRT WITH MANUELA!!! Too bad she never takes me seriously

I have some controversial opinions on this game’s depiction of Gatekeeper. Like, I feel like they were trying way too hard with him, and in the process somehow made him even more one note while also losing what was initially charming about him. The fact that they cut Gilbert, Cyril, Alois, and Hanneman but added this guy as a playable is a fucking travesty.

I’m sorry, I still can’t take the name Leopold seriously. Is my brain rotted out from too much South Park? Perhaps.

I keep trying to pick answers that everyone will hate but Shez is being quite agreeable despite my best efforts >:(

AW FERDIE AND LORENZ ARE CHATTING!

ThatsMyShip.jpg

Lmao @ the baron insulting me for my “baseborn stench”. Nice ally we got there, huh

Ok I swear to god when I ran up to Hubert he whispered some shit in my ear and I am Concerned

LMAO I SOLD ALL MY WEAPONS THAT WEREN’T RUSTED OR CURRENTLY EQUIPPED SO ASHE GOT A RUSTED AXE BY DEFAULT RIP

Edelgard wants to go on an expedition… Fine.

Forest I guess

Y’know one of these days I’m going to count the number of heart designs on Edelgard’s clothes. I can spot at least five just sitting here

I intentionally picked all the worst options lmao. They still like it tho even when you completely botch it

Supports

Caspar/Bernie C - “That armor isn’t big enough for a person to hide in”

Caspar

Caspar my buddy my pal

Armor is, by definition, exactly big enough for a person to fit in

In fact it’s entire purpose is to contain people for their protection

Caspar should be neither the reasonable nor the intelligent one in any conversation (affectionate)

Linhardt/Constance C - So if Constance’s family has been tricking crest investigators for a literal milenna so no one found out about the crest of Noa… how does Linhardt just know about it..?

Bernie/Petra B - Petra is a sadist got it lmao

I’m here for the Brigid lore tho

Shez/Caspar B - “Show some humility for once” LMAOOOOOOO ima pick that one

Shez/Caspar is actually kind of charming lmao

Edelgard/Ferdie C - Damn what was that tone to start off with. Some shady tone going on there.

Also the sad music damn

Ferdie: I was expecting a torture dungeon

Edelgard: We have one of those lol

Comforting

This legal system sounds like shit lmao

“Oh we can’t find any evidence that he’s guilty so let’s just assume that he is” um what lmao

There’s a reason justice systems kind of operate on a… y’know, you can’t prove a negative rule?

So Daddy Aegir… cheats on his taxes?

Ferdie is so depressed lmao. Poor kid.

Linhardt/Bernie C - WHY IS SHE ON HER KNEES RIGHT NEXT TO HIS CROTCH

Uh

Sorry

Is Bernie peeping on a sex scene

(they’re literally just standing there becaues this is Fodlan what is an animation lol, but let’s pretend)

“Neither of them seems to be dead yet” Lin. Lin. What kind of sex are you having Lin

Lin continues to be the only self aware mfer in this house. “Aw how sweet that they’re sharing a romantic moment when they’ll probably be dead tomorrow”. Savage.

AND HE DROPS LIKE A ROCK LMAO

Ferdie/Bernie C - Weird this is another support that only goes up to C. I don’t recall the Lions having like… any of these?

They’re eating the weeds lmao

“Such luster! Such size!” size queen Ferdie lmao

Shez/Lorenz C - Idk if I want to include the contents of this since I plan on doing a GW run at some point and I imagine it’ll be like, basically the same, but I did get it.

This conversation makes my head hurt

Side Battles

“Chase the enemy down and annihilate them”

That’s a good guy thing to do!

Oh? Space time dimension Arval convo?

Oh I think this is the same as the other routes. Lame

“The Alliance army is using a stronghold in Gloucester territory to obstruct the Imperial army’s advance. Sack it.”

That’s a good guy thing to do!

OMG I SENT ASHE INTO THE FIGHT WITH THE RUSTED AXE

He still kicked ass tho because I’m like. 20 levels above the recommended level lmao

The alliance Baron is a thief hahahahha nice touch

MOMMY JUDITH IS BACK AGAIN!!!!!!

Hope we don’t have to murder you in cold blood this time

Paralogue Battles

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH I forgot we have paraloooooooogues

I’m guessing this is Bernie’s. The question is, do I care

Oh no Dorothea’s too

This game just loooooves wasting my time, eh.

Alright fine I’ll do it. Starting off with Bernie and Monica.

“We’re rounding up anyone who can help. Which is just the three of us” yeah fuck that generic mage guy lmao

Omg I just realized… I didn’t level up Monica… she’s level 3… RIP…

Omg Bernie’s mom gets a shoutout. Probably not a name tho. This fucking game…

“I’m looking for the lost Fretters of Dromi”

*side eyes my inventory and the Fretters of Dromi Yuri rolled in with”

Yep no idea where that could be

“We needed a bargaining chip to ply the Archbishop with” dude. You like. Used her sibling’s corpse as a bargaining chip to get her to agree with you. That’s so fucked up.

Obligatory Myson paralogue appearance

This actually wasn’t too bad. Monica put in a surprisingly good effort for being level 3 lmao. Maybe because I gave her Thrysus

Honestly I don’t really have much to say about this one. It’s… kind of a wasted paralogue. Monica doesn’t engage meaningfully with TWSITD (even though they literally kidnapped her and locked her up???) and Bernie is just… Bernie. The final dialogue is everyone just teasing/shitting on Bernie. Definitely nothing as meaningful or character development-y as the Dedue/Felix/Ingrid paralogue, or the Ashe/Catherine/Yuri paralogue, or the Sylvain/Dimitri/Rodrigue paralogue… you get the idea. The most we get is some vague info on Bernie’s mom being worried about her.

ON TO DOROTHEA/MANUELA PARALOGUE

Starts off with a random generic soldier guy shouting his love for Manuela. My kind of people

Adrienne??? A girl??? Gets a name???? In this game???

Manuela just casually being like “Yeah we have to thump a few incels” same girl. Same

Also I’m guessing the dialogue changes slightly depending on if you’ve gotten Dorothea’s supports? Cuz Shez says “we’ve been over this, I’m not that into this” which is what their support with Dorothea was all about.

“Thief was revealed to be a MANUELA FANATIC” same bro, same

Oh there’s a Dorothea fan too. JUST a fan tho, not a fanatic

Ok this is kind of amusing

OMG HANNEMAN SHOWED UP

LMAOOOO “Hanneman! You came for me!!! <3 Wait… am I actually into this???”

Yes, yes you are Manuela. I ship it.

Much better than the last paralogue. At least this one provides some interesting backstory for the characters involved. Also Manuela and Hanneman being Mom and Dad lmao.

Kinda disappointed we didn’t get a random Shez fanatic tho lmao. Would have been peak comedy

Main Battle

I just noticed the title of this war map (chapter?) is “The Blitz of Riegan”

Blitz. That’s a good guy word!

Ok, on to the main chapter battle!

If this game had some balls we’d learn about how Bergliez’s men had to engage in cannibalism in order to survive the siege

And now looks like we get Raphael, Lysithea, and Marianne

OH interesting, in order to recruit Raphael you HAVE to have Ignatz with you. Gay.

(Yeah I ship that too, what of it?)

I think that only happened one time in AG, with Mercie?

Also thankfully it warned me lmao because I was not going to bring Ignatz to this party

“I have to knock some sense into you Raphael!” Yeah fuck that guy for defending his homeland

1800 kills for an S rank seems a little excessive

Also it’s ridiculous how much map reuse is going on here

Sothis cheater moment lmao

Post Battle Stuff

“Maybe I should have just let the Empire have their way” ok AG had this issue as well. Why is this game so weirdly insistent on trying to demonize people defending their homes from invaders.

Same cutscenes with Arval and Byleth. Lame.

Oh my god. Arianhrod is a sex joke. AND CASPAR DOESN’T GET IT LMFAO

Oh my god that was a genuine laugh from me that’s wonderful

Shez’s comment about the Ashen demon comes out of nowhere lmao.

Ugh. Dimitri is being such a king I love him. Why are we just the worst in this route

I also find it interesting that they don’t invert the colors of the factions. So we still have the evil villain red lines, and Dimitri still has the Fire Emblem Protag blue lines.

You know how else we could have avoided all these needless battles and saved countless lives, Edelgard? Not starting a war. That avoids a lot of needless battles. That saves a lot of lives.

“Fanatics dying for the central church” or. You know. People from the Kingdom. Not uh, not wanting you to take over their homelands tax them to shit and subjugate their peoples. That’s a motivator as well.

Oh god now we have to have a private conversation with Edelgard

Shez: I don’t know what you’re doing and that’s exactly why I follow you!

Well that’s fucking stupid, Shez. Are you stupid? You appear to have lost quite a few braincells between AG and now

Honestly I’m… not really sure what this conversation was trying to advance? The Kingdom Nobility were “reabsorbed into Faerghus without even a slap on the wrist”? And that’s portrayed as a bad thing that needs to be stopped… even though Edelgard admits two seconds later that she does the EXACT same thing?

And how do we even know they’re getting off without punishment? We can’t see what’s going on in the Kingdom? And if you play AG you know for a fact that they do not get off without punishment because… like half of AG is focused on punishing them.

This really feels like “pull some shit out of our asses to make this conflict look justified” hours.

Which, to be clear. It’s not. It’s not justified at all. I almost wish I could throw this entire war because I feel like a bad person for sitting here watching this game repeatedly shit on completely justifiable resistance to a foreign invasion as if it’s somehow a bad thing. Why the fuck are we even doing this again??? For the lolz???

Also I finally made popcorn after this one. And I discovered Balthus gold grinding soooooo life is pretty good now!

#SB Liveblogging #Scarlet Blaze Spoilers #few3h

[omniscientfish]

tw!! Talk of suicide and self harm! If you aren’t comfortable with that then look away! Please and thank you!!

Oh and this isn’t like a real post so you don’t have to read this. I just need somewhere to vent and I can’t write it in an actual book because people will read. No joke that’s happened multiple times. remember kids, lie.

basically, if teachers or authority figures can hear, then don’t say shit. We were talking about intrusive (or impulsive i don’t freaking know) thoughts and I started talking about how sometimes I wanted to stab myself. The others nodded and some agreed. My close friends knew that I struggle with self harm but we all do in our toxic little friend group. Anyway, the lady in the room overheard that and told, let’s say… Mr. T. Mr. T brought me to his room later and asked what I had meant by wanting to stab myself. Apparently my drama classes paid off and he believed I was just talking about intrusive thoughts. Which I guess I sort of was. No lie is believable without some truth to it. (Oh also he almost started crying which made me really guilty cuz I’m really close with him) anyway, he said ok and I went on with my day. Except at the end of the day when I was going home he did, “oh and I emailed you mom” shit. So of course I read the email and it literally said I wasn’t self harming just that I was saying my intrusive thoughts out loud! Wtf! I do get to some extent telling the parents if their kid is actually self harming. BUT I WASNT. SO WHY EMAIL HOME?! I get it’s for legal reasons but why make that a law in the first place. Oh you kid was talking about self harming themselves but doesn’t actually have any motivation to do so. That’s so stupid. Um anyway, at like eight or something I came downstairs to ask my dad for something idk I can’t remember and he brings up the email. So now we have to have an awkward fucking talk and I have to put those acting classes to good use. So he believed (technically I’m not lying??? Sort of?? Idk. Like the stuff I was talking about was like fully roping my arm apart and stabbing the muscles in my arm into chunks. Which I don’t want to actually do I just have weird thoughts) oh also my dog destroyed a wig to one of my oldest dolls in my collection. I’ve also had this doll the longest. She was the first one I collected so now she has to be bald. (She’s bald! She’s bald and. She’s torturing people with hair!) AND I GOT MY FUCKING PERIOD HAHAHA FUCK MY LIFE

#hate having a girl body #:( #i wish i wasn’t like this #can’t I just be nothing #No pussy no dick #Just exist #actually a dick would be fuxking sick #I didn’t censor myself I just misspelled and I’m too lazy to fix it #Um anyway

[ronearoundblindly]

Do You Two...Fondue? (5)

Here to Prove, Part One (see previous or series)

Summary: Steve struggles to explain himself. (Warning for some awkward convos. This is again soft!Steve, but pretty in-character, if I may be so bold...Minors DNI, 18+ only.)

A night of thinking about what happened doesn’t help Steve. He convinces himself of many things, from ‘I should just be a monk and let her have someone better’ to ‘chips fall where they may, go try to have sex without any confidence and see how ya do, punk.’ 

Bucky may or may not be his conscience in this case. Jury’s out. The voice is either his conscience or a little demon on one shoulder.

He’s typed out nine separate explanations via text and sent none of them. Then Steve flips the phone out of his hands in alarm when the three dots appear from your end. Even the ninth try isn’t good enough, so he sends nothing. Your response never comes either.

There are two big prayers that go through his head before a fight: “God, please let me live,” and “God, please don’t make me live with my failure.”

Steve is living with his failure all night, and by morning, he’s wrecked.

It’s much worse than he thought when he watched you leave. He isn’t just afraid of you thinking his affection is some sort of pity response to the reporters. He’s actually afraid. It’s multidimensional, intergalactic fear.

In his youth, a man didn’t touch a lady like that without giving her a ring first, a real, open, public promise that he was held accountable to. Even then…debatable. Engagements get broken all the time. Divorce is super common now, too. Not that he’s thinking…yikes, no, well, he’s…uh boy.

To Steve, it’s not enough to step out with you, not in this modern, flippant world where promises mean nothing and legal accountability is man’s only moral compass apparently. So again, he’s waiting until he’s convinced that you’re convinced he’s sincere and all-in.

Except that leads to the next problem which is that Steve has very little sexual experience, and he’s in love with you. He may not have asked any prying questions, but he knows you aren’t a virgin (though neither is he technically). Even if you were, there are far more expectations of sexual prowess nowadays. Steve’s just simply not ready to disappoint the woman he loves after waiting decades for this moment.

And thus, he’s disappointing you for those very same reasons.

It hurts him. It physically hurts him to think over it again and again. His eyes are bloodshot, and no matter how much water he downs, his throat and mouth are still sandpaper. In the mirror, he looks like he’s been tortured, sleep-deprived all night, and he still doesn’t have a satisfactory answer to get the pain to stop.

Thank god no one called him on a mission. He’d be as helpful as a wet rag.

It’s probably because his brain is fried by the time he looks at the clock and knows you’ll be at work that he leaves his room, zipping a hoodie over the undershirt and dress pants he is still wearing from the gala. He’s relieved the first person to see him in the lab is Gracie. She points him to the supply room where you are charged with inventory. She wears a look that says ‘ ‘bout time you showed up,’ too.

His mind goes completely blank the instant he opens the door.

Your back is to him while you count out small disposables in a bin. “Bruce, I told you I could do it if you’d just leave me the fuck alone for…” You sniffle before finishing the threat. “Damnit, I lost count,” you gripe, smacking the tablet on the rim of the bin, but you turn anyway. “Seriously, I—“

Steve is awash with guilt and comfort at how destroyed you look. He wants nothing more than to hug you, but your whole body stiffens at the sight of him.

He imagines you’re about to yell at him, to scream for him to get out and leave you alone, to tell him that you’re finished with him outright. He didn’t imagine this.

“How can I help you today, Captain Rogers?” Your tone is so flat, so defeated that Steve’s insides curdle.

He can’t ask more of you. He can’t ask for you to go through the scrutiny and incessant media slog. He’s already burdened you with his bizarre hangups born from repression nearly a hundred years ago. What the hell is he supposed to say?

“Can you forgive me?”

Weak, Rogers. Weak.

You exaggerate your sigh. “I’m sorry I misunderstood.” Steve doesn’t like where you’re going with this. “I get it now. You don’t want to be an old-fashioned man with a modern slut.”

Steve knows he’s a giant putz in this moment, but what can he do? He’s the idiot who cornered you at your place of work. He can’t attack you here. He can’t prove anything. He’s certainly not going to make you feel like an object whose purpose is to please him in front of your peers.

“I’d like to have this conversation in a more private setting,” he attempts in a soothing, low voice.

“Then what—“ you stretch yourself as tall as you’ll go “—THE FUCK are you doing here now?”

“Perfectly fair,” Steve squeaks, unable to retaliate, “but I wanted to see you.” He keeps his voice low and steps forward. “But I always want to see you. I can’t see how--I don’t know why you don’t see—“ He’s lost it again. The words keep coming out wrong. “I love you, and I can’t seem to have a single conversation where I don’t put my foot in my mouth.”

“Well, that’s crap.” It’s harsh as a whip, and Steve is rightly chastised until a smirk breaks your frown. “Sorry, that’s just…it’s what you said when I couldn’t stop insulting you, so…” The lightness of your tone is superficial. “Don’t ever disrespect Gaga like that again though.”

He can see you’re deflecting, watches you shrink behind your lab coat like you’re fading into the wall and hoping he’ll leave you alone. He wants to do whatever makes you comfortable, but he can’t just leave. He has to have a light at the end of the tunnel. Some light for both of you.

“A date. Give me one more date. Just us. Not here. Please.” He has no clue what he’ll do to make it up to you, to convince you he’s not the putz he knows he is being right now all the time.

He watches your eyes dart to the tiny window on the door, and you scratch at your neck to block your mouth and face from view. Someone is clearly at the window, staring, likely Gracie, who Steve finds kind and funny but extremely dramatic.

You give a roundabout nod and mumble, “that’s not fair. You know damn well I have nothing better to do.”

Steve barely cares that it isn’t the emphatic ‘yes’ he’d hoped for. You keep giving him these chances, and each one ends up offering him a glimpse of how happy he is with you and how happy he could be as long as you’re with him. He closes the short distance to trap you in a tight hug, the type he reserves for you because you always let out the most contented sigh once he’s relaxed his weight onto your smaller form. That sigh haunts him at night. You won’t do it unless he really puts his soul into the hug. He’s tested out levels of grip and certain postures, but it’s like you know when he isn’t simply devoted to the embrace. In his mind, you see a science behind it, a formula, but in truth, it doesn’t matter. He just loves that you understand and you reward him with that little pleased sound when he gets it right.

This time, Steve kisses the top of your head, relishing the scent of your hair. He’ll enjoy the hug and then go beg Bucky to help him figure out how to fix this and—maybe—get some sleep, too.

(You can find more steve/reader, bucky/reader, and fun stories on my Ao3!)

(Next part)

#steve x reader #steve rogers fic #fluff and feels #steve x you #fluff and romance #fools rush in #steve rogers #eventual smut #fanfic #series

[vivithefolle]

Can I join your anti-Hermione club? Is there an application form? (In all seriousness, I'm so glad there's someone on Tumblr who is anti-Hermione for good reasons. It drives me absolutely insane how much the fandom worships her. I respect her intelligence, but there are so many absurdly unethical things she does. The hexing of Marietta Edgecombe - I researched it, it's both against contract law and would almost certainly be considered assault - was crazy, and even crazier was that it's excused.)

Hahaha, no application form needed, just a lot of bitterness and a touch of rage.

Something that really annoys me is how people are trying to tell me I'm doing Hermione-bashing when I give her the what-for. Or try to say "but she was a teenager :(". Really, freaking really? So when Hermione scars people on the face she's being a teenager but when Ron is pissy for a night in fourth year he's a total asshole? No, nope, not gonna let that lie.

My issue is that Ron's mistakes are teenager-sized; making an ass of yourself during a soirée, dating someone you're not really interested in because you're flattered by the attention, getting mad at your friend over silly stuff, saying stupid things without thinking... teenage mistakes. Those are teenage mistakes. (Something could be said of his leaving on the Horcrux Hunt but. Bitches. Voldemort himself (a part of him at least) was there singling him out for torture. Not to mention the heavy blood loss, the fact that his family's in danger, etcetera... But of course nobody is willing to accept those circumstances, nooo, it's only Ron who's the sole responsible for leaving absolutely, right, "Hermione is a teenager :(" and "Harry has PTSD :(((" but Ron isn't allowed to have problems of course. Fucking hypocrites.)

Meanwhile Hermione wakes up everyday and chooses violence and not for good reasons. I mean when your first reflex to distract someone is to set them on fire surely that indicates some issues? (Later on she forgets that she can use magic to light a fire... against a plant. I mean. How. How do you come to the conclusion that you should light a person on fire to "distract" them but cannot apply that reasoning to a goddamn killer plant.) The thing is people just... because we're constantly told that Hermione is intelligent/has good grades/works hard, people are quick to assume that she's obviously the most mature one in the room. But being a hard worker isn't necessarily a "proof" of maturity. It's just that people's expectations are that "a studious kid" is a mature kid, but really what they mean by "mature" is "doesn't annoy me to hell and back by playing noisily".

There’s this huge manipulation that plays on people’s expectations: being coded as “the studious girl” people are told through stereotypes that Hermione is smart, mature and logical… and the text is quick to try to reinforce the idea by having her spout definitions (=”smart”, for a degree of it; it’s mostly good memory), scold others for being rowdy (=mature, except that she’s not above it all either and a big part of maturity also involves REALIZING YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES which, Hermione’s don’t, so oops) and have her solve some puzzles or explain things (=logical… but sometimes her reasoning is based on emotion and she just tries to find evidence to justify why she thinks it’s right, rather than go from one thing to another).

When people try to brush off the fucked-up things Hermione did with "well she was a teenager" or "it was the war effort"... no. Fuck no. She didn't have to wipe her parents' minds and memories, there was the Order, the Dursleys were treated better than Hermione's parents for God's sake. But the only thing that matters about Hermione's parents is that they can be conveniently sacrificed to let us know how brave their daughter is right, it's not like she's in anything called the House of the Brave or something, it's not like she's constantly being thrown in mortal danger and is scared but keeps pushing forward, no we absolutely HAD to have a plot point that involves Hermione destroying two people's identities so we know how brave she is (how was any of it brave? Bravery is risking yourself, not the life of two innocents who barely know what's going on and are in no position to fight back).

And with the Romione fandom trying to push back to "nooo but she was a teenager m'kay she had her reasons for everything"... You want to get back to the Dark Ages where Hermione can do anything to Ron and it's his fault for not being perfect enough for her? Because that's how you go back to the Dark Ages.

In concept I love Romione. In the books I love it till about Book 3 (and even then that's pushing it because Hermione's utter disregard for Ron's pet sits very unwell with me, BUT okay fine she's still a child, it's her first pet, she has no idea how to own a pet and she's not used to being mindful of others' feelings. Then she gets validated by the plot because Scabbers was Pettigrew and somehow that means Hermione wasn't horribly callous to Ron's feelings or anything... meanwhile had it been Ron buying Crookshanks and Scabbers being Hermione's pet everyone would have been like "but who cares that Ron was right in the end, do you see how horribly he hurt poor Hermione's feelings!!!"...

It's just. No more excuses. Hermione is fucked-up. As a person, not just because of the war. She had a vicious, vindictive streak that only got enabled through the books because she never was called out on it. And I mean, I'm all for standing up for yourself, or for slapping Draco Malfoy's bitchy ass ferret face. But fuck. When you're doing the magic equivalent of an acid attack on someone's face, when you're physically abusing someone you're supposed to love AND THREATEN TO DO IT AGAIN AS IF IT WAS SOMETHING CUTE OR QUIRKY, when you're brainwashing your own parents into compliance because you can't be bothered to lie to them or make the Order get them... You know how many fics I've seen that take the "I did actually Confund my examiner" exchange from the Epilogue and run away with it to make it so Ron gets in a horrible car accident or invent entire collapses of the Statute of Secrecy as a result of an investigation connected to this "ha ha look it's funny Ron cheated on his exam" moment? Why don't I ever see a fic talking about how Hermione erasing her parents from existence leads to the destruction of Wizarding society through the legal bullshit that follows? Because Hermione dear, did you think to alter "Wendell" and "Monica"'s birth certificates? Their marriage contract? Their VISAs? Their bank accounts? Otherwise you've just turned your parents into homeless vagrants hopelessly lost in Australia who can't ever find a home anywhere because they simply don't exist in the eyes of any government. But hey nobody ever thinks of that because it's so much easier to nitpick everything Ron does. The only thing folks notice about Hermione nowaday is Emma Watson's boobies.

... I'm sorry, I just... Ugh. People.

#vivi answers #ask #hermione granger #hermione granger critical #hermione critical #ron weasley #ron weasley defence squad #ron weasley defense squad #harry potter #harry potter series #hp fandom #hp meta

[turtletotem]

AU where everything is the same except that it's traditional that Bright Moon royalty have a harem

aka why have ship wars when you can ship poly!

In season 1 Glimmer is too young to get married, of course. But she and Bow are definitely engaged already, because relationships tend to speed up a bit when you know you don't have to commit to only one spouse your whole life.

When Adora shows up in Bright Moon, she faces a lot of judgment and intolerance and even threats because she's from the Horde, right? But Glimmer has the perfect solution. A solution that will (a) give Adora official royal protection, (b) give Adora status in Bright Moon and the Rebellion, (c) be quite the political triumph in terms of binding She-Ra to the royal house of Bright Moon (this last one is the main reason Angella goes for it).

Glimmer adds Adora to her engagement harem.

Of course she's not going to force anything romantic on Adora that she doesn't want. She swears they won't even have to really get married, when the time comes, if Adora doesn't want to. But let's be real, Glimmer is definitely crushing on Adora, and in this situation? Where Glimmer feels free to act on that, and none of it's going to hurt Bow's feelings (he never expected to be Glimmer's only spouse, and he likes Adora), and Adora is lonely and everything about her situation is encouraging her to return Glimmer's feelings? Yeah, Adora starts reciprocating pretty quickly. I figure their first kiss is in the hot springsat Mystacor.

Of course Catra finds out; She-Ra's engagement to Princess Glimmer is big news. Her jealousy and hatred toward Glimmer and the Rebellion is gonna be dialed up to eleven. Princess Prom is even more intense than in canon. (For Glimmer and Bow, too—Glimmer has much better reason to be jealous of Bow's attentions to Perfuma, but since they're not married yet, she can't technically stop him.)

For what it's worth, I see Adora and Bow as having a relationship that is… romantic in some aspects, but not sexual? Adora's just not attracted to men, and Bow is too monogamous at heart—Glimmer's it for him, he's not interested in being with anyone else. But they still see themselves as romantic partners, because that's expected from harem-mates (at least nominally). They do love each other, and they enjoy things like holding hands, cuddling, and the occasional kiss.

Glimmer's not supposed to actually have sex with any of her harem until they're married, but just sleeping together is fine and even encouraged, so the three of them share a bed. It helps Adora's loneliness a lot, eases the pain of waking up without Catra.

(If, more than once, she sleepily calls one of them Catra, they're not about to bring it up.)

Very possibly, Adora advocates for adding Huntara to the harem. Glimmer is not in favor of this, however, and in the end the idea is dropped when Huntara goes back to the Crimson Waste.

The three of them get married when Glimmer becomes queen. Glimmer offers to release Adora from the engagement, just like she promised she would, but Adora won't hear of it. She loves Glimmer, and she loves Bow, and she wants this marriage. If a part of her is heartbroken over the final death of any hopes she had about Catra, well, that's all the more reason to marry Glimmer.

When we get to season 5, the Glitra subtext gets to be more than subtext. After all, it's totally acceptable for Glimmer to have three spouses, no one would even raise an eyebrow until she hit twice that many. But she feels weird telling Bow or Adora that she might have feelings for Catra, so she doesn't realize how much Adora is torturing herself with guilt about her own feelings for Catra. In addition to all the war-related reasons to feel guilty, Adora feels like she's being unfaithful to Glimmer.

Things might get very complicated after Catra is rescued. Glimmer, of course, proposes to Catra; marrying her will give Catra protection from anti-Horde sentiment just like it did with Adora, as well as helping establish peace between the two factions. Catra resists the idea, but Adora feels obligated to swallow her own feelings and talk Catra into it. Which, of course, devastates Catra, because now she thinks Adora doesn't love her. Poor Bow is the only one who sees what everyone isn't saying and tries, mostly without success, to mediate.

Events at the Heart go just as in canon, so Catra and Adora do face up to their feelings. But they're unsure how Glimmer's going to react. They're relieved and surprised when she's thrilled.

When all is said and done, Catra does marry into the harem. Like Adora, she has a romantic relationship with Glimmer and a close platonic relationship with Bow (even more platonic than Adora's; I'm thinking Adora and Bow eventually have a child, just because Adora wants one). (He and Glimmer probably have several.) Catra and Adora dig up an old tradition of handfasting, wherein members of the same harem can unofficially marry each other (or even marry outside the harem, with royal permission). It's not a legal thing, but it has meaning within the bounds of the harem itself. In their case, it's widely known and respected in the court of Bright Moon.

(Side note: What about Angella's harem? you might ask. Well, Angella's been around for a very long time. She outlived her entire first harem, and was too heartbroken by her losses to try again—until Micah. He got away with being her only spouse because she'd already fulfilled the harem tradition, and because he was able to finally give her an heir, and because the people were just happy to see her married again at all.)

#will i write this? #i don't know #but it's been rolling around in my brain for a long time now #ship ALL the ships #catradora #glimmadora #glitra #glimbow #she ra #spop #harem AU #glitradora

[ocean-stuck]

what pisses me off is that all the pieces for an actually good show were there, and instead sotsu wasted its runtime on redundant scenes and dumb arguments about studying

the rest of the club basically only existed to be victims of torture porn. it's a shame; given that by the start of sotsugyou satoko has apparently looped so many times that the original villains consistently have changes of heart, you'd think it'd only be a matter of time before they'd start remembering the new loops with enough clarity to do something meaningful. it stuck out to me that the new loops were punishing them for things that would've been the right decision in the original ones, so i was sure that even if they didn't recall enough to piece together what was going on, this might bite satoko in the ass by making future loops devolve in a way she couldn't control. that would've given those arcs some point beyond pointlessly baiting newcomers, but no

it makes hanyuu's assertions about creating miracles nonsensical, that miracles aren't spontaneously conjured by deus ex machina but born from the concentrated efforts of people. this is obviously taken from the vn where it's true and the entire thrust of kai, but here it's laughable because...the exact opposite happens. no one's actions lead rika to the truth, instead she just spontaneously remembers a thing that happened without even actively looking for whatever dragged her back into this nightmare

and oh satoko. i sincerely wish the people still insisting it was deeper than what we got would stop deluding themselves already, but on the other hand i feel bad for their wasted effort and wish they'd been right because that'd be a way better story than this joke. just...i liked the spectacle of the fight in sotsu ep 14 and i wish it existed in a better show, but immediately i noticed the actual substance was literally just a retread of their fight in satokowashi, only worse because at this point you'd think they'd be different people. and they still won't shut the fuck up about "but muh studying!!!" like, the first time i was willing to believe satoko was just putting her foot in her mouth, but in the climactic fight where emotions are at their highest and the girls are ostensibly finally seeing eye to eye and learning to resolve their differences? i half-expected satoko to turn to the camera and go "you still think this is about my stupid grades???" but no, she and the framing have decided that that is what it is, actually

(and rika isn't even like "bitch you've been murdering me and our friends!!" like i know witches have a fucked up view on non-looping people, where they're like pets in the best of circumstances and the versions that aren't what the witch wants are seen as less "real", but you'd think it'd still suck enough for rika to be salty about it)

and there was so much else they could make it about. even just focusing on st. lucia, since whoever was at the wheel mysteriously forgot all of satoko's other trauma that might give her abandonment issues serious enough for this to be thinkable, they could've focused on the culture and the faculty being so cold and punishing that even if satoko were good at studying, or just timeloop-cheated her way through class, there was no guarantee she wouldn't be miserable anyway. (to say nothing of the oft-observed fact that shion, satoko's nee-nee, would know all this but didn't say anything when there was no sign of something stopping her. even if she couldn't come to town for some reason, did eua make landlines not exist??)

and we're supposed to see her as troubled and conflicted, but instead of ever showing us this they just give us endless shots of ooo spoopy eyes and padding that answers questions that didn't need answering. earthenterran basically summed up how this could be better, but if they wanted this "satoko is at such war with herself that her internal conflict externalizes itself and creates lambda" angle, they needed to actually show her at war with herself beyond a couple sad faces that can be counted on one hand. have her hesitate repeatedly, throughout both satokowashi and sotsu. hell, they could even have an internal monologue scene with a second satoko whispering rationalizations, giving people a holy shit moment when this second satoko physically manifests in the sea of fragments while also priming the curious on the mechanics of umineko, the way witches work and the nature of its fantasy as something that can be either literal or metaphorical

instead, the only way they could've blundered this further is if they gave satoko a moustache to twirl

i can't imagine this was the story sotsugyou was intended to be, and one wonders if jun is different specifically to avoid repeating it. if i created something this atrocious, it'd take a legally binding contract to stop me from disowning it at this point

#higurashi #higurashi sotsu #sotsu critical #rika furude #satoko houjou #don't give me any ''but but umineko!!'' crap #i'm reading it already and i know all the relevant bits #doesn't make sotsugyou suck less #i don't have issues with the integration since it's still coherent even if you're out of the loop #it's just done badly in that it isn't well established and is dragged down by an underwhelming story

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome, dear readers, to part 1 of the finale to the BackupKingdom2 saga! We’re in our final ambition now, let’s check how Liz’s post-divorce-bloodbath is going..

Oh yes, excellent. Our path to death-achievement-glory has been paved with so many executions that wherever I look I see npcs crying..

..comforting each other..

..and in Agnes' case, coming straight to Liz to.. ask for mercy for the populace I guess?? Bruh. I can't believe we even brought down AGNES, truly this is the saddest kingdom on earth. Amazing job, Liz, you've definitely earned your place in the tyrant hall of fame!

Now a lesser player would be like "oh, maybe we should chill a little on the insane tyrant thing, finish the Pirate/Noble arc cause we've been dragging this war out so the pirates/guildsmen would keep spawning and it should have ended like 20 quests ago" and true, we could just end it, we ran a very effective operation around here, shoutout to MVPs Donius and Bellinda and their 'seductive' legendary traits:

They bedded them and Liz beheaded them, the power of teamwork! So one could say that we should consider raising kingdom morale now because everyone is so depressed but I think, if anything, now is the time to ramp it up and go for some of the other morally questionable achievements! Like Machiavelli said, you should commit all your atrocities at once! What do you think, Liz? Ready to get atrocious?

-OH FUCK YEA, I’M ENRAGED, I DROPPED MY FIDDLE IN THE PIT AND NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE SERVANT TO GET ME A NEW ONE!! WHY DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME >:(

Aw I’m sorry Liz, but I’m sure you the upcoming suffering of your subjects will cheer you up!

-Ok motherfuckers, by order of the Crown aka ME -you hear that Rae?? ME, NOT YOU. God I want to execute you so bad, fucking ingrate, do you remember what rags you were wearing when I hired you??  

Let’s get this back on track, Liz.

-Right, so by order of the Crown, Magus Olivia and Spymaster Spainot are given COMPLETE LEGAL IMMUNITY to do whatever the fuck they want in the interest of earning achievements, so don’t you people come crying to me cause I don’t give one tiny chinchilla crap about your health and livelihoods. If you need me for something actually important, I'll be at the gates, executing anyone who doesn't like my fiddle playing.

-Oh man, this folksy peasant hat isn’t protecting my ears enough.

-THOUGHT I WOULDN’T HEAR YOUR LITTLE MURMUR, DID YOU  -YOUR MAJESTY NO I ONLY MEANT MY EARS WERE COLD -WELL ALL OF YOUR BODY’S ABOUT TO BE COLD NOW! CONSTABLE, THROW THIS PEASANT IN THE PIT

-Death marker? I hardly know 'er!

So the Constable npc has this little Billy Elliot subplot going, I'm pretty sure he has the 'drunkard' fatal flaw because he was always at the tavern so I had Bellinda try to hire him to perform in one of her plays just to see what would happen and it actually worked, and now he moonlights as an actor! It's cute but it also takes forever for him to come arrest people.

-THEY LOVE ME ❤️😁 -CONSTABLE WHATSYOURNAME, COME OVER HERE AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB OR YOU'RE NEXT FOR THE PIT

-No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, when someone dies😢

In the background you can see that Bellinda just got a pregnancy bump, it’s her lovechild with Donius, I for real can’t keep these two apart. Anyway, the time has come..

..to unleash Magus Olivia onto the populace.

-You know what, I'd rather not, this book is finally getting good and I'm sick of cursing peasants, it doesn't even drop their mood that much..

Oh no, Olivia my beloved, we're not cursing them, we're going for the 'Well Done' achievement!

-NO WAY.

WAY.

-Won't I be executed??

You have immunity! You can do whatever you want!! And, AND, once you complete it, because I know it's tiring, I'll give you a magic skeletal parrot as a gift!! Edward got all the materials for it while treasure-hunting, you'd think I'd let him keep it but that's not the kind of shop I'm running here.

-This is my face of pure, childlike happiness!

Good lord, it’s terrifying, please don’t look at me like that.

-Alright, time to roll down my sleeves so they look more sinister and do this thing.

You can do it, Olivia!

-Of course I can, save your reassurance for the flops that need it.

-I.. cast.. INFERNO!

...

-What?

I mean really, those are the words, "I cast inferno"? Can't you say something with more evil magical flair?

-Not when I have to cast it 80 fucking times I can't.

-IT BURNS, IT BURNSSSSS

Oh how the tables have turned, usually it's the witch that gets burned, huhu! Did you hear that, Olivia? Did you like my joke??

-Oh, it's beautiful!

Well it wasn't one of my best-

-Not you, you needy moron, the sight of burning flesh! I can't wait to do this 79 more times!

Alright, so everyone in the tavern has been turned into a chicken nugget, time to get some rest and check in with Spainot!

-Amazing news, Rodolfo, I just got royal permission to unlawfully lock up and interrogate whoever I want for the achievements!!!

-Darling, no offense, but aren't you a bit too shit at your job for that? -WHAT????

-FUCK YOU RODOLFO YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY SUCCESS -I WISH I WAS JEALOUS OF YOUR SUCCESS, THEN YOU'D BE SUCCESSFUL AND I WOULDN'T BE MARRIED TO A BROKE LOSER

-And then he says the only reason he hasn't dumped me is he doesn't wanna be a rando npc while Batshit Liz is on an execution spree, can you believe this bullshit? How can anyone be so hurtful??

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NO NO PLEASE DON'T HAVE THIS CHINCHILLA MAUL ME I'LL GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT

-How about you give me some marital advice, are you even listening?! Ugh.

That's right, while Olivia is inferno-ing the peasants, I've sicced Spainot on the nobility, specifically all those foreign diplomats that are always hanging in the reception hall, lagging up the place. We're going for the 100 interrogations achievement and we’ve installed a nice spiky torture chair right in the middle of the hall to save time! Now this is how we keep every stratum of society terrified enough to not realize that the person in charge is.. uh.. well you know:

-DANCE TO MY FIDDLE, PIRATE, DANCE!

-I AM!!!!!

-DANCE MORE ENTHUSIASTICALLY. ALL THE WAY TO THE PIT

After a couple days and several locations I feel we’re pretty close to 80 infernos!

I’d say we’ve burned a good 50-60% of the population at this point, everywhere I look I see singed townies-

-so we take this little barbecue to the palace because we’ve ran out of peasants and it’s time to start burning the foreign dignitaries. And it’s a good thing we do, because Olivia meets Nyrexis the Dragon!!!! 

Nyrexis is the human form of the dragon from a hilar quest where there’s a dragon in the kingdom and you can either befriend it or slay it, I had Bellinda befriend it:

So if you complete the befriend route of the quest, the human form of the dragon appears in town and is in love with whoever did the quest, in this case Bellinda. I am of course not about to waste Dragonfu on Bellinda’s basic ass, plus I feel Olivia is kind of a dragon with all the people she’s been burning so they have a lot in common! 

We dazzle Dragonfu with a coin trick! True magic at work.

-OMG IT WAS BEHIND MY EAR THE WHOLE TIME -I KNOW!

Good God, all of Olivia’s ‘happy’ expressions are terrifying, just don’t smile ever again, you’re too evil for it, you’re gonna scare the dragon away!

Or not!!!!

 AWWWWW 🐲❤️🔮

You know what, fuck it, let’s lock it down, when it’s right it’s right!

-Burn stuff with me forever?? -I WILL!!!!

-We are gathered here today, under threat of fiery death, to join two unholy abominations in holy matrimony. Yes, the irony is not lost on me. 

AW CONGRATS GUYS <3333 The wizard tower is so small and family un-friendly and Olivia is so unmaternal but come on, like I’m not gonna have her reproduce with a fucking dragon.

Back to Spainot, we’ve hit a slight bump, mainly that this Snordwich lord is proving fucking impossible to torture. 

-Um.. Are you enjoying this??? -Sure am, bad boy, but why don’t we take this somewhere more private already?

Wtf, stop sexually harassing the innocent person who’s torturing you! Does no one around here have any sense of humanity anymore??

-Come on, Spainot, throw some flesh-eating rodents at him! -I’M BUILDING UP TO IT, RAE, GAWD. No one likes a back-seat torturer!

-HA, who’s the loser now, Rodolfo? Rodolfo?? RODOLFO

Ya Spai I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure he left while you were interrogating, I haven’t seen him in like 3 days.

-WHAT. So Olivia completes one achievement and gets a dragon wife and a magic skeletal bird and I complete three and get dumped?!

Well what do you want from me, I don’t make the rules!

-YES YOU DO

Can we move on, please? And Olivia had a very rough go of it-

-she got burned in some rando quest and looked positively karma-stricken after, inferno-ing left and right while sporting this look! She deserves a magic bird!

Congrats on your success and 4 kids, Olivia! 

-I love this skeleton bird more than I thought it possible to ever love something.

-Gee, thanks mom. 

We had leftover bones so here, Spainot, you get a magic bird too.

-A bone parrot is little comfort when you’ve lost the only bone that matters! Why Rodolfo, whyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

Oh I don’t know, probably because you challenged him to duels 3 times a day?

-No, that can’t be it.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but you look like a man who has nothing to live for?

-Yea, I certainly don’t.

So you wouldn’t mind like, jumping into the pit multiple times so you can get the parts we need for the hardest achievement in game aka Legendary Doomsword?

-Rodolfo had one of those too, it was legendary and now that it’s gone I’m doomed!!!

Ok ya ENOUGH metaphors about Rodolfo’s absent penis, although they really are writing themselves. We’ll get him back! If you survive all the pit jumping that is. Join us next time for part 2: Legendary Doomsword!

#tsm

[wingletblackbird]

Hi. I've been a long time fan of your meta posts. I've been wondering from a purely legally perspective if, as a senator, Padme had the authority to pardon Anakin following his confession in AotC?

Thanks for the compliment!

I'm pretty sure Padme does not have the authority to forgive Anakin's actions on Tatooine from a legal perspective. This isn't just because she is a senator though, and I don't think senators unilaterally have that authority. Even if she did have that kind of authority, and had it on a planet not in the Chommell Sector, she would lack jurisdiction on two counts.

The first is that Tatooine is really only nominally a part of the Republic. It is ruled by the Hutts. Padme has no authority here whatsoever. On top of that, there is no local law enforcement on Tatooine. There are Jabba's enforcers, and your blaster. There is no real law at all. This is the Wild West at it's worst. That is why when Shmi is kidnapped, Cliegg gathers up his farming buddies, and they go after the Tuskens. They can't call in the police, or the military, or any one else to do it. It's a harsh world, and it is just them to do what is necessary. That is why, from a Tatooinian legal perspective, Anakin has not violated the law. On Tatooine justice=vengeance. It is hard to break the law when there isn't one. Sure people will think what he did was excessive, but everyone hates the Tuskens, (you could even call it speciesism), so no one will do anything about it.

The second reason Padme has no say is because Anakin is a Jedi. The Jedi, as seen in Ahsoka's trial, handle all legal matters concerning violations by the Jedi, if not all Force-Sensitives. Now, this system does have room for abuse. However, there is good reason for this system to exist. Force-sensitive beings can choke you from afar, mind trick you etc. The Jedi are the only ones who can ensure a sound judgement, and/or minimal chance of an escaped convict.

Not only do the Jedi need to be in charge in this case for security, they are also the only one's who can truly appreciate how difficult the Force is to handle. What I mean by this is that there is a difference between falling to the Dark Side, and brushing against the Dark. The former is a choice you can be condemned for, the latter is more like manslaughter. Think in ANH when Obi-Wan tells Luke, essentially, that the Force can also control you. You need to be careful how you draw upon the Force. What might be murder for a non-Forceful, could be manslaughter for Forceful if they are overwhelmed by a Force they cannot control, but controls them.

Taking all of this into context then. When Anakin finds his mother, he is grief-stricken, guilt-stricken, furious, horrified, terrified etc. He decides someone needs to die for this, and fair enough. His mother has been tortured to death over several weeks. He gets out his lightsaber and kills the guards. After that, Tuskens come running up to him, he swings his lightsaber. Fade to black. The fade to black symbolizes his brush with the Dark Side. Anakin intended to kill the guards. This is not against the law. This is justice on Tatooine. However, Anakin is also Force-sensitive, and extremely off-balance. He draws on the Force wrong, gets overwhelmed by the Force, and more and more Tuskens, and next thing you know, he's gone and killed the whole village. This was not intentional at all. (As an aside, I think drawing on the Light Side the wrong way can be just as bad, even if not as obviously destructive, but that is a meta for another day.)

Anakin is shocked, horrified, sickened. We can see him struggle to come to terms with it when Padme comes to find him. When he was using the Dark Side he was on a high of power, all the justifications whispered in his head he remembers, now he's awake and trying to cope with what he has done, and why, and how it felt. He has no clue how to handle this. He is a trainwreck. Now, if he'd been bragging about it, I think Padme would have noped out and reported him. He wasn't though. He felt bad. He should be better than this. She forgives him. This is not on a legal level, just a personal one. Padme's gift and flaw is that she always looks for the best in people. Anakin has committed no wrong on Tatooine, and the other wrongs are a Jedi matter she has nothing to do with. In the same way she likely assumed the Jedi would handle Shmi, she thought Anakin would go to the Jedi. Then the war broke out, and there were other things to worry about.

As for Anakin, he was horrified about what he did, and knew he would have to tell someone. He was scared to tell Obi-Wan/the Jedi though. He had never quite fit in. He didn't want to let them down. He didn't expect them to understand how losing his mother affected them. How could they? What should he do? So, he goes to Palpatine first for advice. Palpatine will tell him what he should do. Had Palpatine been a decent man, he would have been sympathetic, but still would have told Anakin that this was beyond his area, and Anakin clearly needs the Jedi's help. Anakin would have gone to the Jedi. Palpatine is not a good man though, and wants Anakin to feel miserable and dark and dependent only on him, so he isolates Anakin further. Of course, the Jedi would never understand, my dear boy. And, besides, it's not like what you did was really all that bad, right? After all, they killed your mother. All water under the bridge! Anakin may not believe this, but it is permission for him to not face his fears, so he doesn't. He vows to do better, and leaves it at that. If Padme brings it up, he tells her he got help. He legitimately thinks he did. Even if he mentioned it was Palpatine he went to, at this point in time, Palpatine is an old friend/mentor of Padme's. She trusts him too. Problem solved.

Now, had Anakin (or Padme) actually told the Jedi what happened. I do not think they would have risked expelling Anakin outright. First of all, they could not have condemned the murder of the Tusken guards, as that could be considered justice under Tatoonian law. However, the rest is manslaughter, arguably even involuntary manslaughter. (Anakin definitely would not have killed kids at this point in time intentionally. He could barely do it even when he chose to fall.) Given Anakin's remorse, he is not beyond hope, and they do not want to expel a man who still could be a danger to himself and others, (and they want to keep track of “The Chosen One”), so he is punished and offered extra meditative training.

I think generally 1-5 years is the typical penalty for involuntary manslaughter? Up to a maximum of 8-10? I don't know. I'm no expert, but I reckon it is pretty similar for Jedi. I imagine the council would suspend him from all further duties, place him in confinement for a year for meditation, counselling, therapy is that too much to ask for?, after that, they would let him out for remedial training under a watchful eye. If improvement was seen, he would eventually be allowed to return to active duty. His knighthood would be put off for quite some time. Alas, this does not happen.

Even if it had though, I don't picture Anakin ever being knighted. Honestly, the increased supervision would have also meant he couldn't see Palpatine or Padme. I think the latter would be the breaking point. Anakin would insist on seeing her and he would get expelled. He would still be expected to do his time, of course, but after that he would leave and never look back.

#Padme #Anakin #Tatooine #Legal system #justice #Jedi Order #also as his wife would Padme even be obligated to report anything he does? #isn’t it law that spouses can’t testify against each other or something?