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lumity-poggers · 1 year

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My thoughts on Watching and Dreaming

I watched the episode when it premeired last night but i hit post limit so couldnt post about it. Spoilers under the cut. sorry if anything is out of order lol im sick and im just throwing everything i thought last night down on this post.

-Luz being attacked by Amity genuinely made me cry

-"My girlfriend is too big a nerd to misremember an Azura quote" -luz probably

-Lilith having the haircut from For the Future but color scheme from season 1 is a nice touch

-"Dont you recognize your siblings" Ok damn man didnt need to go THAT far

-The giant stone Flapjack in Luz's nightmare killed me and not in the good funny way but in the sad crying way

-in the words of @minty-creator "BELOS FUCKETH OFF" (We were both watching the ep and screaming to each other about it)

-at first I thought belos was gonna try and possess king but then I realized no he's going to possess the fucking boiling isles titan

-I actually kinda liked that The Collector had no concept of death. They're a kid, an IMMORTAL GODLY KID. Of course they wouldnt know what death is

-Pacman Collector will haunt my nightmares

-The Collector needs a hug. I want to give them a hug.

-"You know this cant last forever" that was said to the collector but it feels like it was also aimed towards us

-The Archivists 🤝Pink Diamond "Wanna play a game?" *leaves them lonely*

-ok no but seriously the archivists telling Collector to play with the titans only to wipe them out leaving Collector all alone is just fucking cruel

-The Collector is just a lonely kid LET ME HUG THEM

-Me seeing Raine fight back: YES YOU GO

-Goo Belos in this episode looks like William Afton. Like- Remember that fucking fnaf 3 image where the springtrap head was open showing William? Thats what Belos looks like. Or burntrap from SB take your pick.

-Raine my beloved

-The Belos possessed Titan looks like a fucking dragon holy shit

-"Now that's a spinoff I'd watch" You and me both Luz

-The Collector picking up Raine's earring and realizing that the Raine talking to them wasnt actually Raine, and then looking upset is just AAAAAAAA LET ME FUCKING HUG THEM

-I LOVE that when the collector uses "Kindness and Forgiveness" on Belos IT DOESNT WORK. I FUCKING H A T E THAT TROPE OF POWER OF FRIENDSHIP REDEMPTION. It was one of the few things I genuinely hated about Steven Universe (SU is still a good show tho they just kinda overused villain redemption. And yeah yeah you could argue MLP overuses that too but MLP was ABOUT friendship)

-Luz, Eda, and King's expressions when The Collector hugs Belos is so funny tho. Literally just 👁👄👁

-I literally screamed at Luz's sacrifice. S C R E A M E D.

-Gaster Blaster Belos Real

-"Eda, King, looks like we're going to be split up again. I feel like I should be used to this feeling by now, but I still dont know what to say" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-I like that Luz becomes lights. Not only was the light glyph the first one she learned but her name literally means light.

-Eda, King, and Luz are such a found family I love them

-"I should have thanked them" SCREAMING AND CRYING

-I love that King's dad basically said "Fuck gender"

-I also love that he has a bad girls coven shirt

-Eda makes alchoholic apple blood confirmed?

-Titan Luz is so gender

-Camila best mom

-LET. ME. HUG. THE. COLLECTOR. DAMN IT.

-Luz and King doing the WEH together is so fucking cute.

-For some reason I thought Luz was gonna die again when the titan magic was fading. Like I thought that was keeping her alive.

-Anyone gonna talk about the fact Eda gave Raine a little kiss when saving them from the Belos goop

-the entire episode was so anime but the fight scene between Titan Luz and Belos was just anime as fuck and the smooth animation makes it even better

-"NOW EAT THIS SUCKA" IT ALL COMES FULL CIRCLE

-Look at how fuckin anime this is I love it so much

-Luz looks so badass btw idk if I mentioned that

-Belos trying to bullshit his way out of this and Luz having NONE OF IT is so great. I hat the "[insert curse/supernatural thing] made me do it so im innocent" trope if it's done poorly or with a character like Belos. Love that they smashed that into the ground with Luz having fucking none of it.

-LOOK AT HOW BADASS AND GENDER SHE LOOKS I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THIS I AM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS

-I AM SO GLAD BELOS HAD A GRUESOME DEATH THAT WAS SO SATISFYING.

-I like the touch that Titan Luz isnt affected by the boiling rain

-King's dad is A PUN MASTER

-the reuniting. oh my titan the reuniting. I cried. Gus doing a little illusion with his dad, Amity hugging Alador (with Odalia rightfully in the sidelines), Hunter telling Darius about wolves, Willow and her dads!

-Darius and Eber so want to beat the shit out of Terra, Vitmir, and Adrien.

-Camila pulling Eda and King into a hug with Luz is just. YES.

-Yassified Hooty go brrr

-King giving The Collector Francois was so sweet

-All the kids as adults are so fucking gender. GIVE ME YOUR GENDER.

-All the photos on Luz's bulletin board are so amazing. Especially the one with Hooty dropping from a tree that one made me laugh so hard. Also the Bi Pride pin next to the graduation photo was amazing.

-"Stringbean's Corner" AWWWE

-ik im doing two screenshots in a row but LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF STRINGBEAN

-When I tell you I screamed with joy when I saw there was a working permanent portal to the Boiling Isles I mean I SCREAMED WITH JOY

-I love Willow's leaf headband. It just fits her so well.

-I love that Hunter is a palismen carver and carved a Blue Jay to be his new palismen (according to Dana on twt the name of the palismen is Waffle. I love it.), but I also love that Hunter was (or maybe still is) Dell's apprentice by the looks of things

-The grave for Flapjack made me sob. And then the "Thank you for finding me" on it im just. I need a moment.

-HARPY LILITH HARPY LILITH

-Also I just realized now they all have matching Flapjack tattoos. Im gonna cry you guys.

-The way Darius just slides over after shaking Alador is the most tsundere anime thing ever.

-Theres a little abomination in Alador's pocket :0

-Raine with white hair is actually so fucking cool

-Gus looks so cool you cannot tell me otherwise.

-Everyone thought Eda would have like a robotic/abomination arm but no SHE HAS A HOOK AND IT'S AWESOME

-King had a growth spurt lets go!

-The quinceanera being called a king-cenera is just perfect. King is mastering the art of puns just like his father.

-King having his own glyph shapes is just perfect I love it!

-Collector making fireworks shooting stars is amazing

-THEY DID THE HUNTER "BYEEE" TO BOTH THE COLLECTOR AND US

Im going to miss toh. It was one of the best shows Ive ever watched.

Edit: I hat the new post editor istg

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munku-collar · 2 years

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Okay. So the tour production run through and review, praises and criticisms. bear with me if i forget some things or fuck some things up/misremember them, i’m tired and gonna be tired the rest of the week but i want to go through it while it’s still relatively fresh.

I’ll do Act 1 in this post and Act 2 in another.

Once again keep in mind im a 98 STAN!!! I’ve seen clips of the 2016 revival but that’s about it. So I am stating right now that I’m very biased. You have your favorite production, I have mine. This is a run-through in reference to 98 because that’s what I know. And if you can’t handle reading criticism about the tour production, then don’t read. And despite my criticisms, I had an amazing time watching this production and would absolutely go see it again if I had the chance, so there’s really no reason to feel some type of way.

Let’s go.

The Overture was amazing. Amazing. I have no idea what it looks like in other productions but god. It started with the stage dark and the cat eyes appearing one by one. Even the moon was dark at first. As the music swelled the lighting rig on the floor of the center stage lit up and slowly rose. The stars flashed. Different bits of the stage lit up in time with the music. The eyes blinked here and there. The moon lit up. At the end the lights went crazy. I was like shaking in my boots lol I really wish they had shown the overture in the 98 version now! It really adds something to it, and elevates the music.

However I would have liked the cat eyes to be a little bigger. I was sitting really close to the stage obvs and they still seemed kind of small. I think I’ve seen pics where casts have the green goggles. These weren’t goggles I think. I think it was just a projection on the stage. So size em up a little so people can really see! Also the orchestra for this tour is really small, so that combined with the low volume on the speakers I mentioned in the other post meant it didn’t hit as hard as it could have. But still. Amazing.

The first half of Jellicle Songs plays out pretty much exactly like the 98 version, except who sings what line is switched. I swooned a little when nickustrap came on stage just from “HUSBAND!!” Seeing the familiar choreo play out in front of me was so exciting. I was SO happy it still had the butt shaking after they strut in a circle, and the iconic jumps, because those are my favorite bits haha. And then, the biggest point of contention, which I knew it would be long ago, struck. The new choreography.

I’m gonna say it right now, I don’t particularly like it. It works in a few spots in the show, and when it works it works, but other times I literally found myself pretending they were doing the old choreo instead. It wasn’t really a problem this early on in the show, it was just noticable. I don’t think there’s a smooth transition between Lynne’s choreo and Blankenbuehler’s. You can absolutely tell who did what and it makes the whole thing awkward to watch. I don’t think the choreo needed to be updated at all, but if they really had to, there should have been more work to make it a smooth transition. But like I said it didn’t affect Jellicle Songs too much. The hype was still there. It was fun. It was freeing. I was excited.

The Naming of Cats is so much more engaging when you see it live. They’re really not doing anything lol just like in the 98 version but it’s just so much more impactful. Idk I loved it.

White Cat solo is unchanged, thank god, and it’s beautiful.

The Invitation had some weird choreo bits going on, but I’ll admit I didn’t have time to really judge them or pay too much attention because I was focused on Nick’s performance. If you’re surprised that me, Munkustrap’s real wife, stared at him more than anyone else in the show, you haven’t been around here long. The music is unchanged this far, and it’s warm and comfortable and familiar. Misto sings his bit and does a little dance, and it’s very sweet! A joy to watch. Getting introduced to everything by Munk hits you in the feels. Like yes! We’re here! Despite the changes it’s endearing.

However the little interlude before Gumbie Cat wasn’t quite as engaging as the 98 version. Everyone kind of paired off to greet each other instead of everyone wanting to greet Munk specifically. That’s fine I guess. Not everything has to be about him (in my world it is.)

Gumbie Cat is entirely different. I didn’t get my “tiger stripes and leopard spots” thirst trap moment. Boo!!!!!!!!!!! I mentioned this set is smaller and that the trunk doesn’t open. Jenny starts by laying on top of it instead of in it. Minor choreo changes for the trio. Not too distracting. The masks for the mice look the same! That made me very happy. However the cockroach suits got changed. They look to be made of hubcaps or something now? Maybe trash can lids? Idk. It’s not a bad change but I do enjoy how silly the polkadot trashbags in the 98 one look haha. This cast is smaller, we’re missing two kittens as well as Gus Jr, and you really feel it in Gumbie Cat, because instead of a big line of cockroaches, they only have three. I’ll be honest I can’t remember who they were LMFAO. Maybe someone can fill in the blank for me.

They changed lyrics for the second verse, to something about time, and they brought out a giant clock that let Jenny know when it was time to tap dance. The tap dancing was amazing, and I can’t imagine having to do it every night lol. That said this number reminded me of another point of contention I had when I learned about the revival a little bit, and that’s the use of props. I don’t think Cats needs a lot of props. I really don’t. The dancing speaks for itself. Did the clock thing work? Yes. Did I need it? No. Some of the music changed as well, and while it wasn’t bad, it just didn’t hit the same. Either way major props to Jenny. I had a great time watching!!!

Rum Tum Tugger was great, as expected. The changes there don’t bother me too much. You don’t really spend a lot of time looking at the other cats when Tugger’s on stage lol, and Tugger’s choreo for the most part was familiar. Zach plays a great Tugger. This Tugger is sillier/clearly younger than 98 Tugger, but not overly silly or annoying like previous revival performances I’ve caught clips of on youtube. Very loveable! And hot. Earlier in the tour Zach really milked the ‘shimmy’ thing from what I saw, but he has toned it down since, and it really makes a difference. He played it a bit more suave, but still clearly there to have fun, which worked very well for me. It made me happy.

As pretty much everyone knows by now the “terrible bore” line was given to Munk and Alonzo here, and they owned it. My favorite bit is probably at the beginning though. Tugger steps down beside Munk, pretends to kick him in the butt on beat, and says “boop!” That made me laugh both times hahaha. I also enjoyed Tugger laughing seeing all the cats gathered around him before his big finish, kind of shrugging at the crowd like “what can you do?” and proceeding to turn around and hiss at everybody to give him space lol. Just a moment of organic comedic timing. Love to see it.

Glamour Cat was sensational. Lauren and Chelsea popped tf off!!!! I LOVE when they harmonize. It just hits so good. Chelsea’s voice is so gorgeous ughhhhh!! The first night Tayler’s diction was really bad, you couldn’t quite understand her, but the second night she was on point again and really sold it. I’m not really a fan of the younger Grizabella concept, but she played up her injuries enough that it still worked. And her makeup is probably the only makeup in this production I actually like looking at, besides maybe Tugger’s, so that’s something.

Something of note is that when you watch it live, you have to stop yourself from kind of drifting. There’s so much going on and it all happens very quickly. You don’t have time to kind of sit and dawdle like when you watch it on dvd. The first time I missed Pouncival scratching Griz and the second time I didn’t see Deme’s reaction because I was watching Skimble over on the right. (Saw it the first night, but yeah :) It’s really a pick and choose your battle type thing. Think about what you want to see the Most and look for it. You simply can’t see everything, unless you have the opportunity to see it like 10 times lmfao.

Props. Dreaded props. Nowhere did it bother me more than in Bustopher Jones. Bustopher is probably my least favorite part of the show to begin with. There’s nothing wrong with it, I just don’t enjoy it as much as everything else. And this version, I enjoyed even less. It starts off the same way as 98, but then some verses get skipped. And there are PROPS. They pull out “restaurant doors” that waiters Skimble and Alonzo come out of to serve Bustopher. There’s a giant tablecloth. There’s a giant champagne bottle. There’s serving dishes with fake food on them that get swept down the ‘table.’ It’s just. Really clunky and unnecessary and sitting there watching him eat food really is less engaging than watching him stomp around in the 98 one is. However waiter Alonzo was DARLING you’re doing amazing sweetie ilysm. But yeah. I really could have done without the whole scene. That said vocally Bustopher popped off, because John is an incredible vocalist. So at least his singing was very enjoyable.

The Macavity scare is different. Bustopher doesn’t say toodle pip at the end of his song. He’s standing around with the Jellicles when the scare happens. Everyone takes turns going “Macavity?!” And Bustopher says “Macavity?! Toodle pip!” and runs off the stage. THAT was gold lmfao I really enjoyed that. My memory gets a little fuzzy here. Either there is a third Macavity scare somewhere in this act, or one of the two is extended, either this one that occurs before M&R or the one that begins the Jellicle Ball. The queens have a creepy little bit where they sing about Macavity. I know Vienna does this too from the one (1) time I listened to the album, and I??? I don’t hate it but I don’t love it. Music-wise it’s a yes, it scratches the ears right, but conceptually I don’t really like it. The whole point of Deme and Bomba singing Macavity in act 2 is to warn the younger queens about him, like he’s been an ill-kept secret for a while. To call him “a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity” early on and not elaborate until act 2 feels kind of weird. That said the dancing was sexy and I’m bisexual so. Take that as you will LMFAO. The harsh, repetitive whisper of “depravity” also hit me the right way. very nice.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer!!!!! It was SO nice to hear the full thing! And THANK GOD the choreo was pretty much the same. You have no idea how much those little back kicks and hand flips in the second verse tickle me. Here’s an instance of “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” and it really made me wish the rest of the show’s choreo hadn’t been updated. It’s cute. It’s fun. It’s what you want. I have gripes about Mungo’s performance, but I already talked about that, and it comes down to actor choice and whatnot. But overall it’s familiar, it’s pleasing, it’s wonderful!! Double cartwheel = monkey neuron activation. Thank you for it. Thank you. I loved it.

Old Deuteronomy is pretty similar, thank god. It’s a joy to listen to. Others have mentioned it but when Tugger starts singing his bit, Munk gets nervous about it, but nobody said HOW nervous! He literally starts furiously shaking his head like “nononono!” until he realizes Tugger’s not gonna say something stupid and relaxes. That was really cute hahaha. I didn’t pay attention to the other cats much because I kept waiting to see Old Deut. They start off staring into the audience/making it seem like he’s back there, and from my understanding pre-covid he WOULD be in the audience, entering through the back of the theatre and being led on stage. That’s something you don’t really know from the 98 version and it was an interesting thing to find out. However we live in covid times, so eventually they all stop looking forward and turn their attention to the audience’s right, and Misto brings Deut on stage from behind the curtain. The lack of kittens is really palpable here. No proper kitten stampede. It cheapens it a bit, but it’s still endearing.

In the 98 version this is where Pekes and Pollicles happens. In this production it doesn’t. We get the “And Jellicle cats can all rejoice!” and they start celebrating Deut’s arrival properly, and are interrupted by the Macavity scare. Like I said earlier I can’t quite remember if the singing about Macavity happened earlier or if it happened here. From what I remember, Deut doesn’t do his speech about jellicle cats and pollicle dogs either. I don’t quite mind Pekes and Pollicles being moved. But timing-wise I think it would keep the acts a little more balanced if it had stayed where it was.

It hops right into the Jellicle Ball here with Deut saying “Jellicle cats come out tonight, Jellicle cats come back, come all!” instead of “come one, come all.” He’s literally telling everyone to come out of hiding.

Old Deut sings the first few lines of the ball himself, instead of Vic and Jem/Silly singing them. I didn’t Hate the change but it’s another one of those “why change it at all” things. But then other cats start taking over and it proceeds as normal, for a time.

Here is where the choreo changes bothered me the absolute most. The Jellicle Ball is iconic! It’s my fave part of the show and def of the 98 version. I’m obsessed with the choreo for it. So to see SO MANY iconic pieces for me thrown away in favor of a lot of lifts and jerky motions was really, really sad. Like GODDDD they didn’t even have what I call the “hot toms” section, with Munk and Alonzo in front doing their bit, and they didn’t have “Tugger’s boyband” either, where he takes center stage with the toms behind him. While it was really nice to see cats paired off more, and to see munk and deme get their little moments, I really would’ve rather left my demestrap moments to the imagination in favor of getting the better choreo. It was also cut down a bit?? If anything I was expecting it to be LONGER because I know the 98 version has a section cut out, but this was shorter than that. That was really fucking disappointing. Plato and Vic’s duet was on point, because it’s really hard to fuck that up, and the cuddle pile was ADORABLE, but yeah. GOD so many bits being changed really hurt it for me.

However the LIGHTING was an absolute beast, in the best way. I mentioned in my other posts that the lighting in this show was really the MVP and it def hit during the jellicle ball. It emphasized the atmosphere, it was fun, it was dynamic, it kept the excitement flowing. It was just super impressive!!!! I loved seeing so many different colors. I really couldn’t get enough of it. The first time I didn’t notice it, but the second time I did: There’s a bit during the ball where Macavity, off-stage, starts to hypnotize the Jellicles, and turns them aggressive and crazed. The lighting goes red, cats start hissing at each other and closing in on each other to fight. Old Deuteronomy steps up and breaks the enchantment, restores their calm, and their celebrating continues. It’s something that you don’t notice really in the hype of things, but I’m really glad I noticed it! That was very interesting conceptually. So one tiny gold star for Blankenbuehler there.

And it’s impossible to not get hit in the feels during the very last bit of the ball, regardless of any changes. The second night, sitting front center I got chills so many times throughout the show, and that was definitely one of the times. So yeah. Didn’t hit the way I really wanted it to because of the changes, but still hype-worthy and deserving of all your applause if only for the sheer work that goes into it for the poor cast members. Really. That many lifts was Not It man. Not only is the new choreo more demanding on the performers, but it’s just not as engaging. However it’s still better than the 2019 version so LMAO acceptable, I suppose. 98 version is still on top for me there in that aspect.

Memory Prelude was really good. It was pretty much exactly like the 98 version, except hits much more because if you’re sitting close enough to the front you can hear Grizabella gasping and groaning in pain whenever she tries to dance. She’s desperate to do it but she just can’t. Little things like that, as well as the bouts of hissing throughout the show really add a little something that I’ll admit is missing from the 98 one but I never really noticed until I heard the hissing in a youtube clip. Being able to hear the performer struggle here really adds to it.

If you’ve only seen the 98 one you probably have no idea where Act 1 ends and Act 2 begins, and it’s right here! Grizabella walks off stage after singing and getting no paw touch from Deut. Old Deut gets up, starts to follow her, but then slowly walks the other direction and off stage. There’s no announcement, no extra music riff, nothing. You’re left to sit and think about what just happened. And it works really, really well.

#my shit #cats the musical #cats 1998 #cats us tour 6 #us tour 6 #the show #JH

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ccsthemovie2 · 3 years

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(I think it's a word over 500, but:)

"Speaking of Tsukishiro, how's he doing?", Eriol asks. Frying pan to fire to volcano.

"He's good," Touya says quickly, before Sakura can say anything. Yukito is not even in the ballpark of "good". Yesterday he called Touya and begged him to bike over and said it was important and when Touya showed up he was asleep, and stayed fast asleep right through to the next morning. He keeps trying to make appointments with doctors, and then falling asleep before he can call, or, when Touya calls for him, before he can make it out the door. Privately, Touya isn't sure how much good a doctor can do for him, but anything has to be better than this, right?

"Really? I'm glad to hear it." Ugh, how much has Sakura told him. Not that she doesn't have a right to talk to her friends, but, come on, would it kill her to least keep it between her and Tomoyo and the funny looking cat.

He's good, that's an obvious lie. Ruby has said Yukito could barely stand upright at school. Every inch of Touya Kinomoto is packed full of magic. Sooner or later, Eriol figures, either Sakura will be powerful enough to sustain him, or Yue will have to get over himself and just eat already. Touya can't actually do anything with his magic, so it's not like Yue, even weak as he is, will have to face much of a struggle to take it. (Aside from competition with Ruby, of course. There's something to that, right, articles and studies about animals being healthier if they need a bit of careful planning to get their food? Yes, so this works out nicely.)

Or maybe- oh, that's probably it. Yue's on to him, isn't he? He's just being stubborn as usual, figuring sooner or later Clow will appear via Eriol and save him. He can imagine how surprised, overjoyed, grateful Yue would be, if Eriol showed up and saved his life. He can imagine Yue's head resting on his neck as clearly as if he had kept Yue well-fed with magic a thousand times in his lifetime. It would be nice, in the short run, but it wouldn't be right, no. Clow is dead, and Yue needs to learn to live with that. If he knows what's good for him, he will take responsibility for his own life, and if he doesn't...

Ahh, well, maybe it's Clow's old sentimentality, maybe Eriol is just warming up to Sakura's moon guardian all on his own, but he can't bring himself around to the idea of letting Yue just die. He'd save him, if it came down to it. But, he tells himself sternly, only as an absolute last resort. He's just worrying because he misses Yue and wants to get to know him better all at once in that past-and-future way- it's worth a visit, soon. Yes, a nice little visit, and Yue will never even have to know it happened. Just to check in.

(sorry the formatting got weird when i copypasted lol!)

hiiii thanks for the ask!!!

if we talk about this convo we need to back up and talk about how it got here. this should give you some idea of how badly this needs to be under a cut for length lol.

so it all starts with the bit about how someone falling and being caught is something that happens a lot in ccs. how with eriol, it's purposeful, and with fujitaka (and i misremembered it but since found out she fell *on* him and not *caught* by him, which lolol i hope he broke a bone, but also its fine the fic's already marked canon divergent, or maybe the story gets misremembered, whatever, in any case), it's an echo of clowriol's intentional artificial-trustbuild-dangersaves but without the magic or purpose to back it up (just like fujitaka himself!), but it's a situation he quickly makes favorable to him, because it may be a blank slate but it's made of the same material.

this whole convo was part of one of the very first chunks written, but everything was going to go in a very different direction at first. (there's a lot of Cut Content from this fic, some that i just didn't like, some that wasn't connectable with the rest of the fic after it took the shape it took but might pop up somewhere else one day idk). in this particular bit i cut the later half of the conversation because i really didn't like what i'd written, but then even though the direction of the story changed the conversation was still going so it had to bounce somewhere else, so it bounced to yukito. here we are answering your ask 2 paragraphs in!

yukito, iirc in the anime, did catch her from a fall, (in the manga, which made way more sense for why she had to change her clothes and rest so much, he saved her from drowning, again iirc because who can trust a memory) and at a point where eriol still has some investment in making yuekito/sakura (ewwwww) happen, he's going to try and draw on that symbolism to nudge her in that direction, right?

so all this said, SPEAKING of yuekito. how are they doing.

bad, obviously. touya's freaking out. i imagine that part of what's stopping yukito from seeing a doctor is yue, though- he knows it wont help, and i dont think yukito has, like, person insides that will stand up to medical tests, and yue would pick up on yukito like, not wanting to be outed to the doctor as a magic construct because he, like, doesnt actually have a real heart that pulses, just a repeating heartbeat sound. doesn't for real have blood etc to test, just records of blood type (for personality reasons).

and also touya's a very like keep-ur-problems-not-everybodys-business type so hes like imagining sakura venting her fears to this weirdo and getting pissed off. but that didnt actually happen, eriol knew all on his own lolol. touya you have to say something nice should happen to sakura to make up for wrongly suspecting her now

and this bit on eriol's end is all wrong information and inaccurate conclusions and i was really worried ppl would take it at face value but i hope nobody did. in ccs we get moments where eriol wants sakura to take power, or to learn that power can be taken- his final battle with her, for example, where the answer to his light and dark puzzle is to use kero and yue's power, except that's not something she would ever Want to do or would even Occur to her to try. the power is gifted to her by kero and yue (and syaoran!) because they love her.

same concept, here- the answer to the 'yue is dying' puzzle is to eat touya's power, and he can't imagine the real reason why he won't just do that, and when he thinks about it too long it goes right to his ego- yue looovvvvesss clow, and by extension me. he wants meeeeeee to save him. he wants to neck kissy MY magic soo sooooo bad. but yue isn't considering any of that at all. he's thinking about yukito and what touya means to yukito and why that would make yukito hesitate to reach out, and that no way in hell will he just ambush his other self's crush down a dark alley and take his magic, even to save both their lives. he's a lot more selfless than clow and eriol ever realize. maybe- this is just a half formed thought right now, i dont know if im like certain about it, but- maybe they feel his devotion to clow was a form of selfishness, that he Wanted Love as a thing he could hold and own, whereas pretty much everybody else who meets him goes like YOU SELFLESS MAN YOU CANT JUST DIE FOR PPL YOU CARE ABOUT YOU GOTTA TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOOOO

and there’s also that bit of teacherliness intrinsic to the three of them again: im doing this to teach him a lesson. im letting ruby do her thing without telling her what’s going on to help and encourage yue, etc.

anyway, that (in terms of fic weaving itself into canon) solidifies his decision to do uhmmmm a thing that creeps me out real bad in the anime (knocking yue out to have a moment with him, and oh, ding, there's another 'you fell but i caught you' moment!). eriol loves this manner of hanging out with people, you see it later in this fic, even:

It's important to say what's in your heart to the people you want to say it to, even if you have to make sure the other person never hears it. It's important for your own emotional freedom.

he loves to spend time with people exclusively on his terms, to the point where the other party never even knew he was there, because he knocked them out, or because he was just staring creepily at the outside of sakura's house while she did homework, etc etc etc.

tldr: it's all connected, aaaaaaaaa

#ask

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xxxdragonfucker69xxx · 3 years

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@lyhoradka tagged me in that post about five bits of text from written media that are burned into your brain and, kindly, gave me a theme of places. i am going to annotate this because i am a bitch

1. holy places are dark places. the wisdom that we get in them is not thin and clear like water but thick and dark like blood. - cs lewis, till we have faces

im almost certain ive misremembered this one but its better this way. clive what the devil fuck were you trying to say with till we have faces. burn it down and start over with this. i have a sidenote about hope faith and love but thats beyond the scope of this discussion

2. night falls. the workers put down their tools and point to the sky. “there is the blueprint,” they say. invisible cities, italo calvino

again idr if its sky or stars. this is the description of thecla from invisible cities, kindly appointed to me by my good friend venus. this is not the strongest one but it is a strong one and its for Me and i remember it. inna thought i was going to make this whole post about haunted houses and this one is completely the opposite; i’ll consider it aspirational

3. walk to the east till you can walk no more. swim east until you pass the sunrise; swim east until you pass the stars; swim east until you come to the edge of the sky. there you will find yourself on the shores of a different land. even in that place, they shall know your name, and mine. - adel, kc danine/unlikely flowerings, jenna moran

sorry i cheated on this one bc i looked up the attribution and found my memory was wrong. but i cut it up to match what i thought. this one is actually a combo with

3a. the sea will be the color night behind glass. then, slowly, it becomes green: first rain-wet slate, then darkest jade. green as fresh emeralds. green as remembered rivers - the sun beneath the sea, sunless seas

again ive hashed the first part of that but green as remembered rivers lives in my head rent free. these two live under the heading “an exile in the uttermost east”

4. THIS IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOR. NO HIGHLY VALUED DEED IS REMEMBERED HERE. NOTHING OF VALUE IS STORED HERE.

the warning continues of course but the basis is here. the idea that we cannot produce something so horrifying and terrifying that it does not also fascinate us, as you might guess, fascinates me. nightmare and obsession are such close brothers

5. a woman drew her hair out tight/and fiddled in the violet light/and upside down in air were towers/tolling reminiscent bells that kept the hours/and voices singing out of empty cisterns and exhausted wells.

in my head sean bean reads these lines in his civ vi voice. why did so much weird fiction pattern weird bits of worldbuilding after this bit. not that i am immune. voices singing out of empty cisterns and exhauuusted wells

BONUS CONTENT

so many things i wanted to add that werent written or that i didnt have memorized perfectly enough

1i. the, like, entire first half of to tundra by los camp, which i will reproduce below

meet me at st nicholas among the oaks behind the church that sway like pigtailed girls as summer wind whistles around your bare-shin knees and the forsythia leaves in the shade lay with me tickled by the feather reeds thats where the trees grow old under the ivys hold as you in my two arms equally safe from harm and in a hazy daydream our bodies married the stream and we broke down into pebbles and silt the water ran from the fields until the oceans we filled and found the seabed the comfiest quilt

there was more life in the weeds than in the few hundred seats that rose from transept to chancel to nave [...]

2i. prim leaves her father’s house. i won’t reproduce the whole story here but there’s a girl prim and her father is the god hansa and they live in a house of iron nails and one day her dad is killed and she has to go bury him and takes nothing but his corpse and a single iron nail. and she traipses all across creation and the void looking for somewhere to bury him but every time she tries his corpse shouts at her for being shit at it. and eventually she collapses, and drops the nail and it springs right up into the same exact house, and she imagines crawling in there with her fathers corpse to die next to him and freaks out and then

A pale face came before her and she was abruptly struck from her despair as though by a great hammer. A beautiful stranger had appeared, mild and tall, of milky flesh, spare in figure, but radiant in voice and visage. "I know you," said the stranger in a small voice, "you are Prim."

"I was Hansa's orphan, the slave, Prim," croaked Prim in response, "and now I am nobody, just a small dirty thing in great emptiness and here I will die."

"No," said the stranger, and the clarity and firmness of her voice and smile send a shock through Prim, "you are Prim, and Prim only, and Prim you shall be." And Prim there realized her tears had made a great pool and she was greeting her own reflection. And she fell into that murky pool and straight away it turned clear as crystal and Prim vomited forth a great black knot from very deep within her, and her body was scoured and lashed by the icy waters of that pool, and great draughts of poisonous filth and despondency were drawn in rushing gasps from her wounds, and her skin was sealed and her soiled trappings were purged and the caked illness and death was ripped away and she rose from that pool fresh and humming. Her back straightened and she scarcely thought on her father's corpse or the faintest echo of that iron house. That is how Prim left her father's house.

so basically abaddon scooped all of tsiy and every other haunted house writer in like five thousand words

3i. berenike

From my words you will have reached the conclusion that the real Berenice is a temporal succession of different cities, alternately just and unjust. But what I wanted to warn you about is something else: all the future Berenices are already present in this instant, wrapped one within the other, confined, crammed, inextricable.

4i. a ghost does not come to stand in the dark doorway of your room because it is an 18th century orphan girl named annie. a ghost comes to stand in the doorway of your room because the doorway is where things come to stand. - i am in eskew, david ward

the formats all fucked up now huh. this has influenced my thoughts on both psychogeo and necromancy. what a fucking guy. theres also the pope lick bridge one but

5i. i hope you will forgive me for including a bit from tsiy

I opened my eyes. I was kneeling at the base of a tree, at the top of a grassy hill, under starry night. Dad was standing a little ways back, head craned back to look at the tree. "What is this place to you?" he asked, looking around. The island came to an abrupt stop at the edges; it wasn't a floating island in space or anything, there just.....wasn't anything beyond the edge of it. Like looking past the edge of your own eyesight -- not the blackness of eyelids, but the colorless place beyond.

"I'll die here someday," I said, and meant it.

i really need to work on getting places and haunted places into the new draft. im slacking. but im also not allowed to go back and change anything rn or ill just never get anywhere

#visible cities #also sprach #christ this took a million years

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1-800-channie · 5 years

Text

Amnesia

»Felix’s angst one-shot (2 412 Words)

»Attention: What is in the header is the lyric of the song; whats in italic is a memory; what is normal is the present;

»Hi, guys! I’m so excited over this scenario because it’s so sad but so sweet and ahhhhh i just thought it fits Felix perfectly. i recommend you to listen to the song “Amnesia from 5SOS” because its the song of the one shot. I hope you enjoy the story, thank you. ♥

Felix is alone the large dorm he lives with his bandmates, the hyung line went grocery shopping and the maknaes decided it was a great day to do a live stream while walking around the neighborhood. Felix woke up blue, his heart throbbing and laziness taking advantage of his weak body, so he decided to be on his own.

He picked up his phone to face your picture. You were laughing while holding a big teddy bear, that was a present from him. His eyes got teary, he misses you more than he thought he would….; pushing those thoughts aside he chose to finally listen to the playlist Channie Hyung made him, laying down on the bed he whispered all the lyrics to Ariana’s song.

But as soon as the melody of the next song started playing he wanted to kill Chris. While ‘Amnesia’ from 5SOS played his mind become cloudy with thoughts:

~I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted

You were running in front of him, the precious noises of your laugh were echoing on the air, getting muffed by the sound of the waves of the ocean. Felix was chasing you because you guys were kissing close to the water and you pushed him, causing him to get his feet, trainers, and socks drenched.

“Came here baby, i swear i won’t do anything to you!” Your boyfriend states tired of running.

You stopped right on the spot, waiting for him, and when he finally reached you his arm grabbed your body by your waist. You giggled and hid your face on his neck, he is so much taller than you. The sweet smell of your hair made his whole body feel dizzy.

Felix could not contain the sparkling consuming his body when he was with you.

~I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you taste

The tears flowing down your appearance didn’t stop Felix from connecting his lips with yours. You were shaking, even your tender lips felt hesitant against his and he despised it.

His tongue slowly slid over your closed lips, but you opened them right after. His tongue explored your mouth lazily, you tasted salty due to the tears that your eyes left out.

As your lips parted his forehead met yours and both of you left a long sigh, and the tears didn’t seem to stop escaping yours and his eyes.

~ And even though your friends tell me you’re doing fine

“Felix she found the perfect job, she is genuinely happy.” Your best friend tells him with a comfortable smile on her lips. “Oh and she lives in a small apartment close to the beach, she is always on her balcony, enjoying the scent of the ocean.”

“I’m glad she is fine…” The blonde boy says, his words as empty as an abandoned house.

~ Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he’s right beside you?

The newest Shawn Mendes album is playing inside your small apartment. You are cooking with your also new boyfriend. As you sing your favorite song he follows correctly the instructions that are written down on your notebook without a word.

You take an examination at the American boy next to you, he seems so focused that forgot that you are right there, beside him. You sealed your eyes and sign.

He is right there, why do you feel so lonely?

~ When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote to you?

Tears slip down your eyes but you quickly caught them with the back of your hand.

“IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF YOU NOT HAVING TIME FOR ME! YOU ARE ALWAYS WORKING!” Lucas shouts at you, throwing his arms in the air annoyed.

You came back home later than usual today because you had to edit some pictures for a new client when you came back to your apartment you found a bouquet of flowers on the floor and Lucas asleep with his back against your door.

It’s your three month anniversary, and you entirely misremembered it.

“I am sorry… i had to finish editing-” He didn’t let you finish. Lucas grabbed his phone from the table and stormed out, banging the door. This was the last thing you wanted after a long day of work.

As you were taking a shower, Stray Kids album ‘I AM YOU’ was playing, Felix’s voice made the tears that you were holding back escape your eyes quickly. Your heart pained and you could only remember your ex confess you with his deep voice how much he ‘loved you’.

~ Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?

Felix sees all the stories you post on Instagram with an undercover account he has. He sees all the charming selfies you post, he sees all the mirror pictures you post with another man, he reads the romantic words you write to that other man, every now and then.

His heart would shatter a little more, and his mind would ask himself if everything you had were real. How could you move on this fast?

~If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

His brain quickly tells him that you were playing him all the time. Why would you move from Korea so abruptly?

You were trying to get rid of him. If you truly loved him like you promised him, how could you smile? How could you be fine without him?

~‘Cause I’m not fine at all

Felix is surely not alright, he can’t listen to Halsey, your favorite singer, without crying his eyes out. He spent a big amount of his nights awake and imagining about you. He can’t drink milk and coffee without remembering how you always made him a big cup of it with the perfect amount of sugar and coffee.

Felix is not fine at all.

~ I remember the day you told me you were leaving ~I remember the make-up running down your face

It had been a whole week without any kind of news from you. You would not pick up your phone, you would ignore his texts, pretend you are not home when Felix was banging at your door, even though you were sitting on the floor with your back against the door and tears streaming down your eyes.

The day you finally opened the door, your boyfriend could recognize the intoxicating days you were dealing with. Your eyes were red from crying, your skin was pale, your hair a mess and all the mascara you use daily were stained under your eyes in dark mess.

“What is happening, baby?” Felix asks getting on his knees in front of you. You were also on your knees, face hidden behind our small hands.

“I’m leaving. I’m leaving Korea today night… The company that gave me work is placed in Miami, they have an apartment for me and an important place on the team.” You told him while he had your hands on his, his warmth being slowly shared with your cold hands.

“That’s great, baby! You will do what you wanted and what you studied for… We can have a long distant relationship, we love each other I’m sure it will work out i-”

“Felix no! I’ll be half world far from you. It would never work and it would be worst for both of us.” You turned your head to the side, tears falling down once again, making more of a mess on your face and the heavy headache become worst. “It’s better if we break up…” Your lips moved slowly while the last words got out of your mouth.

And they felt like sharp knives on your boyfriend’s heart, cutting, trespassing and making him bleed non stop. Hot, salty tears left his eyes and he tried to change your mind.

But anything he would say would change your decision, he knew you were right, and that’s why it disturbed him even more.

~And the dreams you left behind you didn’t need them ~Like every single wish, we ever made

“What do you wish for?” Felix asked you while taking a glace to your angelic face.

Both of you are laying down on the rooftop’s floor admiring the sky. You are laying on your back, but the Australian boy is laying on his side so he can watch you.

“I wish we can be together forever, for more cliche than it sounds. I have never met a boy as lovely as you. I wish we can buy a place for ourselves where we can share a bed, where i can wake up with you by my side every day.” Now you tuned to your side, facing a blushy Felix with the dumbest smile on his lips.

He was drunk in love with you…

It hurts him how you accomplished your dreams without him, and the worst, with another man.

~I wish that I could wake up with amnesia ~And forget about the stupid little things

Felix tells himself this every day. If only he could forget how your voice sounds, so he could sleep once for all.

~Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you

As you stuff your pijama pants under you cozy socks, Felix watches you carefully under the thick covers of your bed.

You hurry to lay down on the bed, your boyfriend’s body close to yours. He smiles, his white teeth appearing between his tender lips, he is so happy for finally laying close to you.

“Can we cuddle?” You ask with a cute pout on your face that Felix kiss in a fast movement that caught you off guard. You blush, trying to hide your face with your hands

“Of course we can! I’ll be the big spoon.” Your boyfriends choose without a lot of thinking.

You roll over to your side, and you giggle as you feel his body being close to yours, his arms resting on your waist.

“Good Night, baby!” You tell him already closing your eyes and yawning.

“Good night, angel…” He responds back, a kiss being planted on your hair right after.

Felix’s favorite thing to do with you is sleep. Nothing sexual, just the warmth of your body, the cute little noises you make sleeping and the sweet smell of roses of your hair.

~And the memories I never can escape’ ~Cause I’m not fine at all

The sun was shining brightly that day, you were wearing a cute summer dress that would follow every motion of your body. You looked adorable and Felix couldn’t be more proud of having you as his.

“Would you like some ice cream?” You asked him sweetly, appearing in front of him on your tiptoes.

“Yes, I’d love to have one. It’s really hot today isn’t it?” He smiled down at you.

You interlocked your fingers with his and pulled him towards an ice cream truck, where you paid for both of the sweets.

“Why did you pay? I could have done it.” He asks while unwrapping the so wanted ice cream.

“Because you are always paying and i feel bad for it.” You answer as you struggle to open the ice cream.

Felix laughed and helped you, right after you thanked him and you guys walked slowly down the road, hand in hand. Everyone that would pass by you guys could tell, you were deeply in love.

~The pictures that you sent me they’re still living in my phone ~I’ll admit I like to see them, I’ll admit I feel alone

Felix finds himself looking at your pictures often.

The one you are pouting because you were tired of him taking pictures; The one you are hugging your teddy Chimmy with your Koja pijama; The one you are wearing a tight blue dress and heels, he took that on the new year’s party; One of you sleeping on his lap.

As his eyes watch them, his heart ached and he hates to admit it, but he feels lonely.

~And all my friends keep asking why I’m not around

“Felix, come on, please you need to distract yourself,” Changbin tells him, but the only reaction he gets is a roll of eyes.

“I’m good by my own.” The blonde boy says annoyed.

“Come on it will be fun.” Seungmin tried to convince his friend, but no success.

~It hurts to know you’re happy, yeah, it hurts that you’ve moved on

Felix’s phone buzzes and its a notification of your Instagram, you posted a story on a date, hand holding some other man and you have a big smile on your lips.

His heart felt like it was being stabbed.

~It’s hard to hear your name when I haven’t seen you in so long

“Yah! Yn used to say that though, i miss her man. She was funny as hell.” Woojin said with a pout on his lips.

As soon as the Australian boy heard your name a shiver ran down his spine and his smile faded away.

Chan looked over at Woojin, yelling at him just with his glare.

“I’m sorry Felix… I didn’t mean to remind you of her…”

“Its ok bro.” Felix lied, the pain on his body started to become strong again.

~If today I woke up with you right beside me ~Like all of this was just some twisted dream ~I’d hold you closer than I ever did before ~And you’d never slip away ~And you’d never hear me say

Felix closed his eyes and imagined if you were right there with him: He would appreciate more every single second he was with you. He would kiss you more often. He would tell you that he loves you more often. He would do anything to not let you go.

But when he opened his eyes he was alone. The music came to an end, just like both of you.

He has to move on, and maybe pretend he has amnesia so you would leave his heart faster.

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