#fuckin vampires dude

[ravenloftbythelamplight]

Reading through the From the Shadows adventure again and, man, they really just offhandedly mention that Azalin got some painter turned into a vampire and makes said vampire go around and paint portraits of other darklords and then it just doesn't elaborate on that

Like, excuse me but I now need to know this guy's entire life story immediately

#it's so fuckin' bizarre (and funny) to me that Azalin just #accumulates dudes that are seemingly just existing in his castle?? #horrible awful dead man who hates being around people just keeps dragging more people into his castle #who the fuck is this vampire painter who has to travel around to paint portraits of the darklords I need to know-

[crowyobroyo]

I like horror and gore and gross scary weird stuff but at the same time I can't even handle it anyway </3 would I let my partner drink my blood vampire style? absolutely. did I pass out when I pricked my finger and squeezed out a few drops? yes.

#i love meat but sometimes i can't even stand to eat it anyway?? #like sometimes fuckin chicken is? like fuckin icks me for whatever reason. can't even finish a breast #i don't often enjoy meat on the rarer side even #spooky stories and ahit work on me i get freaked out #graphic descriptions and even sometimes just mentions of like gore or just smth specific internal body thing make me feel weird or even - #-queasy a lot of the time #I've tried leg of lamb before and it relatively consistently straight up makes me gag? #eating smth like heart feels weird too #i scare easily irl. multiple times someone has walked by me in broad daylight and said hi and it made me jump just bc i was looking away #i like? have some sort of mental barrier preventing me from even being violent or breaking things? even when I'm mad and want to? #yeah theoretically i could punch a hole in the wall but even if i really want to i dont think i could #90% sure i wouldn't even like bruise my knuckles or anything #like idk man i wanna be more of a freak but I'm like too fucking normal as default #like dude! this fucking sucks! let me be normal about even slightly abnormal things please! what fuck! #crow talking #horror #werewolf #blood #vampire #fuckin hell man

[goldenguillotines]

I'm always like. Yeah Arreons werewolf form is huge. And then I remember how big Kaitou, Tayashi and Arturo get fully shifted and have to pat him on the shoulder like.. bro you got nothing on them

#the full extent of Tayashi's full kitsune form is like. Nine tails Jinkuri from naruto. like thats how BIG he can get in just kitsune #Were form not as hulking but mein gott like dude. #Kaitou also got rhe BEIG fuckin genes. thanks Taya #Arturo is a pack leader by nature of how his pack works #hes just BIG. TALL. Hes meant to literally attack vampires. it be like that #Arreons were form is in its baby phase rn hut dude. Being a 10ft monster aint shit on how big those three get

[erosrageclaw]

act 1 as a tiefling is fucking wild especially if you don't already know the game is set directly after descent into avernus like u just show up and everyones like we fuckin hate u traitor and ur like excuse me what and then u find a bunch of tiefling refugees and ur like WHAT ARE WE REFUGING FROM and then u meet wyll and ur like o thank god this dude seems chill hes even a warlock and then as soon as he gets tief'd he starts waxing poetic about what a horrible monster he is and ur like fuck this shit. u find a dead vampire dude and ur like maybe this motherfucker gets it and he's immediately like i want to kill or use u and ur like ur not trying to use and or kill me are u and hes like hmmm no SIKE GET KNIFED CUNT and then u finally meet karlach and the first thing she says to u outside of introductions is hey i desire u carnally have u ever set urself on fire before like bitch HELP WE GOTTA GO

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #wyll ravengard #wyll #astarion #karlach #tiefling

[enam3l]

rockstar eddie munson fuckin hates tommy lee

read all rockstar eddie munson stories at lore at #enam3ls rockstar eddie

Before Dave Grohl, Eddie Munson was known as the nicest guy in rock n roll. He approached his career the same way as Alice Cooper did, he was a fairly normal dude who just happens to be a metal god although unlike Alice, Eddie didn't wear a costume - he just looked like that always.

Do you know what Eddie thought was fuckin metal? Having a wife he loved more than anything, a supportive group of friends and things he enjoyed doing that weren't snorting lines off groupies tits like the industry expected him to.

He'd ran into Motley Crue a few times. Corroded Coffin were often seated near them at award shows and various events. The first time they crossed paths was at Corroded Coffin's first ever awards show, their debut album had been nominated. Tommy Lee had sauntered past you and Eddie, looking your fiancé up and down like he was dirt and then proceeding to hit on you with a sleazy comment. That night you both agreed 'Man, Tommy Lee fuckin sucks.'

By the mid-nighties, you, Eddie and rest of Corroded Coffin and their significant others avoided crossing paths with Motley Crue. Finding their behaviour tedious and their antics pretty gross. When you'd seen on a magazine that Tommy Lee had now swept Pamela Anderson off her feet, Eddie noticed your concern. You'd both met her before and thought she was sweet. You knew Eddie had a crush on her from Baywatch and through a mutual friend you'd managed to get her to sign a poster for Eddie. He was mortified but definitely didn't mind you wearing the swimsuit to make up for teasing him.

When the sex tape came out you were both horrified for her. Disgusted by the way she was treated and scared that the same could easily happen to you and Eddie. Whilst minding his business on a day out with your young daughter, Eddie was approached by a paparazzi asking if he'd watch Pamela and Tommy's tape. Eddie's reply was asking the photographer if he was ashamed of himself, swiftly followed by a punch in the jaw. Later that day as you bailed him out, Eddie apologised profusely for losing his cool but he was repulsed at how people were treating a woman for just being with her husband, repulsed at the idea that maybe they could speak about you like that and mostly, repulsed they'd mention it in front of your little girl. You didn't care he'd done it, you'd never been prouder.

Now once Tommy Lee had assaulted Pamela that was it, he was dead to Eddie. You'd also been expecting your second baby together when it happened. The thought that a man could even think about physically harming his wife (pregnant or not), never mind actually doing it and risking his baby's life, knocked Eddie sick. The next concert Corroded Coffin had, Eddie came on stage in a tee reading 'TOMMY LEE FUCKIN SUCKS.' A bouquet of flowers was sent to Pamela along with a gift for her new baby.

By the time Corroded Coffin's third studio album came out in 1999, Eddie had made no secret about his views on toxic behaviour in the rock scene, never afraid to use Tommy as reference. The new album's cover art was a black and white photograph of you, dressed like a pin up vampire stood over an open coffin. Now, no one ever confirmed anything but fans couldn't help but notice how the body in the coffin remarkably resembled one Mr Tommy Lee.

rockstar eddie munson is my ride or die! feel free to request anything (it doesn't have to be rockstar ed)

#enam3l x eddie #enam3ls rockstar eddie #rockstar eddie munson #rockstar!eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x afab reader #eddie munson x y/n

[thepunkmuppet]

this is probably the most fuckin parasocial or whatever post I have ever made, but I just really like gerard way man :’)

like obviously I don’t know his personal life I don’t know his thoughts whatever, he could be the worst person alive for all I know but from what we the public see of him, he’s just a guy. just a nice guy, who has interests that he’s passionate and knowledgable about and loves to talk about, and talents and thoughts that he wants to share with the world. and he’s chill and he’s polite and he seems like a good dad, a good partner, a good friend. he seems very pleasant and easygoing to work with and talk to.

yeah idfk i’ll probably cringe at this in like a years time (I’ll probably cringe at this once I post it tbh 💀) but these are my 1am jared wee musings. I appreciate him. he seems like just a normal, nice person who got famous, and he just seems cool. idk i just want to hang out with him, have a chat with him. I feel like it would mellow me out I feel like it would be a fun time. like the 30 year age gap doesn’t mean shit I just find myself wanting to be friends with this dude and I think that’s a cool quality to have, especially as a famous person who could so easily let money and fame get to their head yk

I just wanna spend time with him man like you don’t understand I need his takes on buffy the vampire slayer DESPERATELY

#smoking weed and chatting about life and nerdy shit in a room with gerard way would fix me #is basically what I’m saying #what a lad :) #gerard way #mcr #my chemical romance #my chem #my chemical fucking romance #gee way #no one look at this ever thanks 🥰🎀🫶

[weepingpatrolcupcake]

Guys I think ive figured it out. So Fyodor swaps bodies with his killer. Fyodor became the executioner ( his face looked like it was changing in the end? ) and the executioner becomes Fyodor's corpse. Mf can't die 💀 Not to mention the corpse in the rubble is the vampire dude who impaled him in the helicopter, aka his killer. This is fuckin insane. And is the catalyst blood contact? There was emphasis on the splatter of his blood on the executioner. Asagiri u mad genius

#bsd114 #bsd #bsd fyodor #bungou stray dogs #bsd theories #bsd 114 #wtffff

[sonderrealization]

dude like the urge to get fuckin ravished by a hungry vampire is so tempting

CW: dub-con, blood sucking, marking, implied sexual activity at the end-

forgive me if this is subpar I've literally never written like this before :P also gender is nonspecified for both reader and vampire so go wild babes <3

like, imagine. youre out in the woods on a little camping trip near a conveniently placed abandoned manor, and ... oh? there's a flock of bats? how weird... you sit outside by the campfire roasting some marshmallows when one of the seemingly harmless bats landed on your shoulder, and.. a with a slight, stingy prick of your neck, there's a tall figure standing behind you.

"where the hell did they come from??" you think, recalling the feeling of something grazing your shoulder.. you hadn't heard a footstep, a leaf crunching, not even the cool wind made a sensation on your skin. the long haired vampire could only stare. they confined you against their body with lightly trembling arms, so strong that no matter how much you fight, they'll get anything and everything that they want. you feel another quick prick at your neck, quickly going dizzy as your life's essence is sucked from you, soft whimpers echoing out from the pain. "so good and obedient..." you hear the deep, desperate voice praise, your nails digging into their flesh from just how tightly they were holding you. after a while of drinking, blood rushing down your neck and soaking into your shirt, they let up, panting like they'd just been drowning.

"what a rare specimen, a mortal with no sense of danger... perhaps, are you just too far gone?" they press soft, feather light kisses along your jaw, leaving a trail of crimson stains. you're so dizzy and lightheaded that your instincts don't even dare to kick in, the threat of being sucked dry still looming above you. "more," you plead, whining as they pull their mouth away from your flesh. "more?" they ask, incredulously. "my, my. you're quite bold, aren't you?" the vampire chuckles, grazing your neck with their fangs, leaving a few hickeys... daring not to taste your lips. oh, how much they desired to drink once more.

"not... not enough." you wanted more, you couldn't help it when it felt like your core was on fire, burning, aching for anything to help relieve it. was it a side effect from their fangs? "....perhaps this would better be suited to a... slight change of location." they sighed, taking you into your tent and onto your air mattress, once more being pinned down with those strong arms of theirs. it would've been preferrable to have you in their own bed, however, there was always the risk of being snapped out of your trance. "you're in for a long night... and, don't forget, my dear. you asked for this." they had an animalistic look in their eyes, and much to your delight, you could tell they weren't planning on letting you go until sunrise. a human, full of such sweet, potent, and high quality blood was so very rare to come by...let alone coming from someone so easily taken advantage of.

there was no escaping after that first bite.son

#monster fucker #monsterfucker #vampire x reader #vampire x human #vampire #vampire fucker #vampire fiction #vampire fanfiction #vampire fantasy #x reader fanfic #monster x human #monster x reader #vampire x you #monster x you #cw blood #cw dubcon #cw dubious consent #sonder writes

[marvelobsessed134]

Motley Crue head cannons for Halloween/fall

Halloween/fall headcannons!

Pairings: Motley Crue x Fem!reader

Warnings: none, surprisingly hahah

Just headcannons on how Halloween/fall would be if you dated one of the boys.

Tommy

The two of you going all out for Halloween decorations outside and inside the house

Wearing matching pajamas which Tommy acts like he hates when he’s with his friends when I’m reality he actually loves it

Doing matching couples costumes.

SILLY COSTUMES! Like hotdogs or peanut butter and jelly

Tommy loves handing out candy to the kids and complimenting their costumes, “Whoa! That’s a sick pirate hat dude!”

He ends up eating most of the leftover candy

The two of you snuggling up in blankets watching classic Halloween movies

Him pulling a prank on you by turning the power off in the house so it’s dark and then he runs after you wearing a scary mask before taking it off and laughing manically, “Babe it’s just me!”

You getting him back by scaring him when he’s in the shower

Baking Halloween cookies together

Nikki

He’s very into the scary side of the holiday

So he drags you to as many haunted mazes and houses as possible

It’s both fun and absolutely terrifying having things jump out at you

He’s always something scary for Halloween while you’re usually something cute

Makes you watch all the Friday the thirteenth movies

Made the mistake of making you watch IT and you couldn’t sleep for a good couple days

He likes to scare the trick or treaters. Like when they walk up to the porch, he has a mask on and stays still like a decoration. Then once they get the candy he jumps up and scares them.

Will enjoy when you make a pumpkin pie because who doesn’t love pumpkin pie?

Tolerates watching “It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!” For you because he loves you

He will wear matching pajamas cause he knows it makes you happy

Mick

Mick also enjoys scaring kids. Don’t know what is about the bassist and guitarist but they love to scare kids on Halloween

Mick dresses up as a vampire every year courtesy of being called one 24/7. He makes a very hot vampire too

The two of you like quiet nights in, listening to halloween music on the record player and watching movies

He loves to help you bake cookies and other treats

Will not under any circumstances wear matching pajamas

But will carve pumpkins with you

Likes to read next to you on rainy fall days

You guys definitely adopted a black cat together

Vince

Always tries to get you to wear a sexy costume

It always works

He’s usually a cop for Halloween because he thinks it makes him look cool

Watches classic horror movies with you

Doesn’t like to scare kids but will scare the teenagers because it’s funny

Likes to eat your cookies you make

Sings Halloween songs to you in a lullaby when you’re about to fall asleep

Decorates the house in order to compete with the neighbors, “Our house will be the best fuckin house on this block.”

You just laugh and roll your eyes playfully

He’s very protective of you when the two of you go to Halloween parties whenever someone scares you on purpose he gives them more than an earful

You take his daughter out trick or treating while he gives candy to the other kids

He also won’t wear matching pajamas but still does it anyways because he actually secretly likes it.

#motley crue #motley crue x reader #nikki sixx #tommy lee #vince neil #mick mars #fanfic #mick mars x reader #vince neil x reader #nikki sixx x reader #tommy lee x reader #headcannons #Motley Crue headcannons #Halloween #fall #fall vibes #Halloween vibes #fluff #cute

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Fic Recs | Vol 7

Howdy, folks! It's time for this week's recap of what I read :)

As always, you can find the spreadsheet here, and you're always more than welcome to tag me in your fic if you'd like to be included. New and old fics both appreciated; anything from a drabble to a 400k word series is fine; and the only Pedro boy I don't really read is Pero Tovar.

Without further ado here are the fics I read this week and the unhinged ramblings of a madwoman (me) to substitute for a coherent recommendation.

One for the money, two for the show a Joel series by @cowgurrrl

Rockstar!Joel AU with such a sweet fake dating trope lead in and then the most delicious yummy angst. As your resident angst whore this was everything because it was so REAL and so fucking heartbreaking. And then the happy little hopeful ending and then all the drabbles and extras??? AH! My favorite part was the lil instagram stories i think <3

sharing is caring a Frankie/Santi one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

Your friend Santi introduces you to his friend Frankie and uhhhh you guys go make a sandwich.

Only Lovers Left Alive a Joel series by @atinylittlepain

I love every single thing about this. Revenge. Vampires. Blood play kind of? Biting. Etc. This shit rocks.

Waiting Room a Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

I fucking love what kel did with this song. The repetition of one for the road really fuckin got me too. Angst angst angst.

The Special One a Joel series by @toxicanonymity

What if a reluctant soulmates AU was also a vampire!Joel AU? It would be perfect, that's what. I'm loving vampire!joel rn anyway, but this was such a cool twist on it. Also his vibes in this are fucking immaculate

Copycat Killer a Joel series by @beskarandblasters

Bitch this is so good. Stalker!Reader x Rockstar Joel... fucking perfect. I love how they both kind of suck as human beings a little bit. And that blow job oh my GOD.

Sweet Creature a Dieter series by @wildemaven

I really really love how this story is going. The little town is so real to me and I love all the little places we get to see. The bookstore sounds like a DREAM. And I can't wait for Reader to bond with D over art ahhhhh.

Stitches a Din series by @djarinsbeskar

This fic is so fucking good dude. I love the set up for the whole thing and the reader character is really fuckin' cool. The like... 8 consecutive parts of incredible smut that continues to be genuinely interesting and really fucking hot even after like 200K words is extremely impressive. I'm also pretty sucked into the story and the way Medic is being interwoven into canon. Oh and the introspection we get from Din's POV is *chef's kiss*.... anyway pls god finish this story i need it

False God a Frankie series by @swiftispunk

Frankie asking for what he wants is so... yummy... especially when it's wanting to be your subby lil pussy eating king like... PLEASE. And his praise kink??? I am in Frankie heaven

102 a Frankie one shot by @tieronecrush

I fucking love this ahhhh. I felt so bad for Frankie but also their friendship is so cute??? I love the unrequited love//idiots to lovers trope

Safe in my Arms an Ezra one shot by @mishasminion360

Ezra struggling to adjust to having one less limb and me crying about it. This was so fucking good. The raw emotion he feels and reader's unwavering support... the realism in saying something that accidentally hurts his feelings and trying to take over tasks he might find difficult AGH. I love this so much

Leave Off Your Wandering a Joel series by @oonajaeadira

Adira, I fall in love with every single little world you create without fail. This is obviously no exception. Your sheep ranch is a dream. The way you build up this backstory with the Roostlings and the friendship with Tommy and Maria and just all these extra little details you take the time to flesh out and weave into the story... makes my heart sing, friend. I adore this <3

-------- fics i read a while ago and never recommended -------

Name a Javi P one shot by @joelscruff

Consent a Dieter series by @fuckyeahdindjarin

Whiskey, Dark and Deep a Jack one shot by @prolix-yuy

Stay on the Screenplay a Dieter series by jazzelsaur (ao3)

A Safe Haven a Joel series by @joelsgreys

Psychomanteum a Dieter series by @whatsnewalycat

In Name Only an Oberyn series by @forever-rogue

------

I haven't written a word in weeks, so once again no updates for me :/

-----

Happy Reading

#the spreadsheet digest #vol 7 #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction #Joel miller x reader #frankie morales x reader #javi peña x reader #Oberyn Martell x reader #Dieter Bravo x reader #Ezra (prospect) x reader #Jack Daniels x reader #din djarin x reader

[sister-lucifer]

what’s wrong with you based on your favorite batman villain

(don’t take these too seriously)

(sequel to this post)

The Riddler: Holy shit shut the fuck up for two seconds PLEASE. i know you have a touch of the tism and crave to derail every conversation to talk about your special interest but no one else is having fun. this is why you don’t have any friends. You also have a very niche and the second most expensive taste in clothing so you only have like 3 outfits to mix and match. You either dress like you’re going to the Met Gala or like a dad on vacation, no in between

The Penguin: STOP FUCKING IMPULSE BUYING!!! YOU HAVE TOO MANY TRINKETS!!! YOU DONT NEED IT JUST BECAUSE ITS PRETTY!!!! You have the most expensive taste in clothing, especially victorian undergarments, and spend an embarrassing amount of money to dress like a vampire. And stop being so hard on your body. It might not always be the perfect image of what you want, but it’s doing its best, even if you have to help it out a bit.

Harley Quinn: Sweetheart, I promise you are more than just your sex appeal. I know you grew up around misogyny and were raised to be a housewife but you’re free now!! Well…you would be if you stopped picking the shittiest men. A relationship does not define you, stop settling for assholes because you feel ashamed for being single. Have you tried dating a woman? No, seriously, try it. You deserve it

The Joker: Stop using your humor to deflect from your trauma, i bet your back hurts from carrying the weight of being the funniest person in your friend group. You’re a big time maximalist who spends an hour picking out a hundred accessories to wear and wind up being late because you couldn’t choose which kandi bracelets were best for the occasion. You’re still holding on to the last shreds of your teenage edgelord phase. Also clean your damn room and throw away those old drink cans, nasty ass

Catwoman: How does it feel to be the sexiest person in the room at any given time? Not good, I bet, since you struggle to make friends because of how often they wind up to only be after your body. Sorry you can’t catch a break. You’re probably still carrying money saving habits you got from your parents when you were a kid even though you don’t need to now. Also please try wearing a color besides black, it’s almost summer, you’re gonna die of heatstroke. Nice eyeliner though

Poison Ivy: Dude, so many people are crushing on you rn, how do you not see this?! You’re so hot but soooo emotionally unavailable, christ. A boy in middle school said something uncomfortable to you once which was then reinforced by the misogynistic micro aggressions you were subject to as a teenager and it’s kinda tainted your entire view of the male gender, which is fair but also kinda sucks.

The Scarecrow: Daddy issues, daddy issues everywhere. He was scary as fuck, wasn’t he? Your fear was valid. You really love to analyze people which wouldn’t be an issue if you could actually be subtle about it. Stop staring, you creep. Also, that flannel doesn’t look as good as you think it does, you look like a depressed lumberjack. Like please just buy a cardigan. Halloween is your favorite holiday and you get really annoying about it around mid august. And remember to brush your fuckin hair for gods sake

The Mad Hatter: You get like…reeeeaaaally weird about your crushes, man. Like whatever you’re doing it’s not normal. You can just talk to them, you know. You have the weirdest sexual interests but they’re more so hyper specific and niche than gross or unsettling. That’s better, I guess? You gotta leave your headspace and live in reality for a bit, man. I know it kinda sucks, but there are real people here! Also you’re short. Gross

#batman #batman rogues #the riddler #edward nygma #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #the joker #the scarecrow #jonathan crane #mad hatter #jervis tetch #poison ivy #pamela isley #catwoman #selina kyle

[inmyhorrorsera]

S5E8 "The Roast" thoughts:

Ok, I watched this episode three times and I'm still smiling. I love when you think and episode is gonna be about something because of its title and then surprise you when its all a misdirection (see also: Succession's "Connor's Wedding").

At first Laszlo's err… state intrigued me, love everyone projecting and imposing their own insecurities (Guillermo's secret, Nadja's hex) as a reason on why he is behaving like that. And of course it's a stupid reason 😭.

"And a flat pepsi for Guillermo". Oh Nandor, that's the worst thing you ever done to Guillermo, that's the worst thing you could do to anyone. And yes, I remember a certain S4 episode.

I screeched like a bird when Colin mentioned dreaming about being a baby under Laszlo's care, not only because I wanted this shit to happen since the past finale, but also I really thought the episode was going on that direction (and also bc its another W for my predictions).

Having said that, LOVED the nonchalance of Nadja and the others when they were like 'no, it wasn't a dream, that totally happened'.

I mentioned it in a separate post: they really had a Sweet Dee in IASIP moment when The Guide gave the roast idea, only to be ignored and then the same idea being stolen by a dude who is celebrated.

Seanie's poor brain it should be soup at this point, we don't know if he can hazily remember the event like it happened before.

What can I remember is his line after Nadja's roast because it was one of the biggest laughs for me: "Women CAN be funny!" I fucking loved it so much, it's the perfect condescending shit straight men say all the time, even when they're trying to be complementary to you they can't stop being garbage. It was a simple line but Anthony nailed the delivery and timing. Seriously, rewatch that part.

At first I was confused why all the jokes were so mid, but shortly I realized this episode wasn't about the roast at all, lol.

Just by watching screenshots of other users I noticed that in the scene of Nandor resting his head on Guillermo's shoulder there's a BIG flame between them. LMAO. There's no way that is unintentional.

Good for The Guide being the catalyst of Baron Afanas learning the truth. I was demanding more screen time for her lately, so having some incidence in the main plot goes on the plus column.

The other guests present at the roast being shocked at the knowledge of Guillermo killing vampires surprised me; I always assumed Guillermo being a familiar/slayer was a known fact in the vampire community after his very public massacre at the Théâtre des Vampires.

Fuck yeah when I realized this is a Doug Jones spotlight episode, I just fuckin ahgdjkaksdf, love him, perfect, no notes.

The Baron being terrifying!! Guillermo was seriously scared for the others and he barely tried to show off his Van Helsing abilities.

Nandor and Nadja begging the Baron to not hurt Guillermo!! 😭 Them being dragged while grabbing the cape!! 😭 They're spiritual siblings to me!! 😭😭

They really reminded me a little bro and sis begging their mom to not hit their beloved older brother with the chancla for talking back or something.

I fell for the two fake-outs with the sack lol I'm so gullible when it comes to vampires I guess.

NANDOR PAINFUL SOUNDS (MOANS???) WHEN HE BELIEVED HE WAS IN FRONT OF GUILLERMO'S INERT BODY. IT WAS SAD BUT ALSO A LITTLE HORNY!!!

"At least he died doing what he loved: beating off in the toolshed."

A wonderful small detail: After Laszlo opened fake Guillermo with the knife he cleaned his hands on The Guide's dress.

Idc if you think its dark, the whole 'Nandor will kill you and then kill himself' bit becoming a recurring joke it's peak writing.

I wish I can say something more serious about Baron Afanas' sadness over how boring his life is now. But I just keep thinking that the way he talks about his homelife with The Sire and the Hellhound sounds exactly when a dude has a middle life crisis and suddenly he doesn't enjoy his marriage anymore. They're husbands!! And I loved how cunty he looked at the end all half-charred (see posted gif) Queen!

Now, the Nandermo of it all: What more can I say than incoherent screaming and foaming from the mouth? Episodes 8 are all about them again!! Nandor on the window looking all cliched melancholic heroine of a romance novel?? How relieved he was when he found him in the coffin??? Him still remembering Guillermo's card word for word???!! Knowing that this toxic dark sided devotion goes both ways???!!! Borrowing the words of Fleabag: THIS IS A LOVE STORY.

Seriously, I know all these soft Nandor moments are here so the heartbreak when he learns about Guillermo being turned it's even bigger. But still denying that there is a romantic undertone between these two it's just being purposely adamant at this point (i'm looking at you wwdits reddit). Even if nothing explicitly romantic happens on screen, just by watching these moments, I know, we know.

Now, go listen to the ending song again. You will not regret it.

#i wish nandermo enjoyers only good dreams tonight! #to the others sorry err for me keep winning and being right #nandermo #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #wwdits thoughts

[certainwizardlady]

Roll for Story- G/t edition

I love all the writers appreciation posts from last month ❤️ my humble offering for you writers is a silly roll for blank game using all the tropes. Feel free to use/edit as you please. If you write something from this please lemme know!!

your Main Character is a

Giant

human

tiny

sizeshifter

Flip a coin: do they get shrinkrayed/growthrayed? Heads for yes tails for no

your second MC is a:

Giant

human

tiny

sizeshifter

setting:

Home

Outdoors

different dimension

silly place (carnival, dmv, etc)

how do they meet?

Caught in a trap

being hunted

online (uh oh are they dating?)

found while stealing food or supplies

magically transported to each other

vortex of mystery

person b is noisy. Person a finds and tells them to knock it off

alien invasion

cursed by a witch

meet cute in a public park

Someone’s injured

Mutual friend

Coworkers

new neighbors

Taking a class

Person a hired person b (hit man, task rabbit, dog sitter, etc)

Both are being sent on an epic quest by a wise old wizard

Childhood besties

Oops we swapped bodies and need to figure out who this new body is and how to get back

Amnesia and both wake up in a lab

Ope! One of your characters is secretly a….

Vampire

werewolf

demon

really boring normal dude

fairy

big ol fuckin nerd

wizard

really nice guy under all the snark

Your characters don’t want to be in this forced proximity because…

One of them needs to go home

a deadline for xyz is coming up and they do not have the time for this

they are mortal enemies since childhood

the big is keeping the tiny captive

the tiny is keeping the big captive

the other person annoys the hell out of them

person a has goals and the situation with b is hindering that

prejudice that shall be overcome

Ope looks like plot needs to happen

The tiny or giant is seen by a nefarious character

the out of size character gets caught in a life threatening situation

the gov wants info and is hunting down our differently sized friend

an ex is jealous of this new relationship and will do anything to break them up

roll for a new character. This one is just an asshole and so selfish that it negates the main character’s goals.

our main characters have a fight that results in someone walking out

the bigger character accidentally destroys the smaller ones things/home/city

miscommunication! (Classic modern family plot)

where does the smol sleep?

Sock

mitten

in hand

drawer

nest

their own house

chest of big

cage

#sfw g/t #g/t community #sfw giant/tiny #gtwac #g/t #The sillier the better #Roll for story

[badlydrawnjohn]

EB: what am i... some kind of purple vampire?

EB: with a magic wand? am i a magician?

CA: its a fuckin wwhite science wwand!!

EB: dude what?

CA: ugh

#homestuck #john egbert #badly drawn #day 25 #eridan ampora #who wore it better #daily post

[beneathcandycoatedclouds]

Ok hear me out I've been thinking so much about Astarion for obvious reasons but also about consent and how important that is to him as a character

I was talking to my husband about how I love him because he always waits for you to ask for things before doing them (feeding, relationship stuff, etc.) And even tho all the characters do that it feels extra special with him given his trauma and being a vampire, which usually means you hunt people for sport and are not asking permission, and my husband was like "yeah except for the first time"

And here's the thing about that - Astarion is a rogue. A real sneaky boy. Mechanically has sneak attack. His bite bonus action has a 100% chance of hitting. You shouldn't wake up until he has latched on to you already. Which leads me to believe... That he meant to wake you up that first time. He meant to wake you up so that there would be a chance to reveal his nature and to ask if he can have some blood so he doesn't fuckin' die. But given that the dude isn't used to trust or vulnerability and revealing that he is a vampire is already a MASSIVE show of that, he needed to find a way to make it seem like he wasn't asking permission. In a weird way, he wanted to ask for consent without being fully vulnerable. And to me this was the first display, way early on, that he was just waiting for someone to trust him and trust in his abilities to make the right choice. He knows what that choice is he just needs people to trust him to make it (which is also another de-LICIOUS theme with all the other companions as well and the overarching theme of overcoming the darkness within us as a whole).

And on top of all this he later reveals that he has never tasted blood from someone before!!! Only animals!!! Like even when he had to do terrible things for Cazador or was out searching the streets for victims he never caved once! He was living off of the putrid rats Cazador gave him and denied his hunger when out in public because it was important to him that he didn't hurt people when he didn't absolutely have to from evil papa C!

And like yeah. Sometimes he wants murder and chaos and children to die in act I. But also hear me out - one of the things so many approval guides messes up in explaining what he approves of is "is this person typically classified as a monster? Are you killing them without looking for an explanation or giving them another chance, even if they might not deserve it?" And usually it's things like sparing the act I hag or other "monsters". That's why he is so blatantly racist to the Gur - and please don't misunderstand I think it's rough to hear that part - but looking at it from his perspective as well, Gur monster hunters kill "monsters" without a second thought. If Astarion was alone they would have just murdered him without thinking or realizing that he wasn't everything they thought he was or knowing he had never tasted human blood.

Now we are far away from the original post idea from consent but this all leads to the final point of like. People characterizing him as chaotic evil and just how much the alignment system really can do people dirty. Like no! It can all be traced back to a deep good desire of wanting to give people another chance and giving people an opportunity to make their own choices and be better! He has no idea but that desire is there! Basically it's like the option you can say to Minsc - there's good and bad in everyone it's just what people want to listen to

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #bg3 spoilers

[anonymous-dentist]

Btw to all the people who have been asking where Phil is in my fics since November: You’re Funny!!!

That Man Is Irrelevant in my fics lol, he will never play a large role

This is a long-standing tradition btw, even back in 2021 when I wrote my first ever dsmp fic (crimeboys/sbi, believe it or not), Phil was the fic’s main villain. And then in my karlnapity fic, Phil was a supernatural serial killer killing just random dudes and also vampires and known Terrible Parent

In my qsmp fics? He’s either Somewhere Else or fuckin dead so I don’t have to deal with his fans breathing down his neck and sending me death threats when he isn’t written the way they headcanon. I do Not have the patience to deal with a million “Why isn’t he Cellbit’s dad?” questions, thanks

(I got some of those when the first chapter of the vampire fic came out. Safe to say, I’ve written Phil out of the fic completely because of them)