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sinnabonka · 4 years

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It’s spec time: Love always wins

(Okay, I promised it, I’m doing it, there’s no stopping me now.)

For the last three days I’ve been all over the place emotionally, clinging to every post saying Cas is not dead dead, saying his story is not done, but then someone wrote the “but” post and, there I go again, down the bottomless pit of angst.

I’ve been a Schrödinger believer for so long with this show, one can get used to it.

I know I’m not the only one feeling this way, regarding whether Cas is coming back or not. We won’t know till we know ©

Ep 19 speculations here

But let's speculate!

Apparently, there's nothing better for me to do way past midnight on Saturday and on Sunday morning (when I’m writing this).

What makes us think 15*18 might indeed be the end of Castiel’s story:

Everything the crew and Misha told us, officially, is pressing toward Cas dying permanently in this scene. “Proud ending”, indeed.

Castiel’s story has the perfect symmetry this way, with the handprint, the “Hello, Dean” - “Goodbye, Dean”, and the whole “Dean Winchester is saved” theme.

He is smiling, while Empty takes him, he’s content with his sacrifice.

Something about Castiel’s monologue didn’t sit right with me for some time. The whole point of happiness being not in having, but in being and saying, gave me an idea of it being the way writers say we can’t have Destiel, but we should be happy to know it’s real and to hear it said aloud after all those years.

Supernatural had to be the story of two brothers and their journey, and Winchesters driving in the sunset is the most probable endgame we are gonna get.

Even though all those points seem valid, we can’t trust any of it.

Let me fix it for you:

It wouldn't be the first time the crew lied about someone being on set.

The handprint was not scripted. I repeat, the handprint was not scripted.

Castiel’s monologue could be just about loving Dean, and it’s just my poor wounded heart looking too deep into it and seeing my angstloving reflection on the bottom of the well.

And Supernatural might indeed be about family, but, as we know, family doesn’t end with blood, and doesn’t start with it either. Cas is family, after all.

I’m glad be are clear on this one.

What tells us Cas is coming back and we are getting Destiel endgame:

(Brace yourself, it’s gonna be wordy)

1. The most obvious, without rewriting his memory or going OOC, there’s no happy ending for Dean (not the crappy bittersweet substitute) without Cas.

Even without the love confession in place, we’ve seen what Cas’ death did to him before, it shuttered him to pieces. Imagine the damage it's gonna cause now!

“I love you, I always did, bye bye now, have a long and happy life knowing my feelings for you have killed me dead.” Really? No win can make up for it.

2. My fave point, aka the natural dynamics of storytelling. The big loss predicts the big win. The deeper the wound, the brighter the prize. Following the roller coaster this season has been, we should be up for a pretty high damn up pretty soon.

So, there’s The Big Loss (losing Eileen, all of their friends, all the people on Earth and Cas).

Next - The Big Win (defeating God, getting their free will back, getting humanity back).

Then, we should have The Big Regret and Reflect moment (Sam and Dean talking a lot at this point, realization of things which are important, what they want with Chuck gone).

And at the end, there’s The Ultimate Happy ending waiting for us (see point 1 again in case you are not sure what that means).

3. You know what, forget it, this one is my favorite. The parallels. Throughout this season we’ve been spoon-fed with context (Geez, it feels nice to finally know we are not crazy, we are not seeing things, we got it all right!) and writers chose to do so via parallels, via reflections, subtle hints.

It would be some lazy storytelling to shove everything to our faces, so, instead, we’ve got: Charlie and Stevie, Sam and Eileen, the world and humanity, Dean and Cas.

Everyone separated. Forever? No, not really. And I don’t buy everyone getting their loved ones back, except Dean. C’mon.

4. Unresolved love confession. Yes, Cas might have died with a smile, meaning it’s enough for him to speak his truth and be gone. But Dean? Him sobbing in the dungeon, ignoring Sam’s calls (he literally never chose anything above Sam before), the “Don’t do this, Cas” part - it’s the lowest he’s ever been.

To sum up, Dean didn’t get his closure. He might have needed five to six business days to process, but he still has his truth he has to find out and then give a voice to.

And yeah, I know, he could confess via prayer or something, but we all know that’s something needed to be said face to face. (Btw, he already confessed to Cas in purgatory via prayer once, you can try and prove me wrong, but good luck with that, sunshine.)

5. The perfect symmetry. If I were in SPN writers room, I would literally cry my eyes out of joy at the symbolism this ending gives. I would literally fight everyone against it.

The broken man not deserving to be saved is dragged from Hell by the most loyal and righteous angel Heaven ever seen.

The fallen angel not deserving to be loved is dragged from Empty by the most loving and caring man the sun shone on.

I mean, c’mon, people. Poetry.

(We are nearing a very important thing here, fasten your seatbelts, please.)

6. The message the show wants to give the world has changed. From “it’s all about the journey, about saving people, killing things, no one ever gets what they deserve”, the philosophy has changed drastically toward the “good things do happen, you deserve to be saved, to be loved”.

Come and see what lane we are walking right now: allowing yourself to love again, to experience things again / losing the love of your life a moment later / fighting for your love / winning your love back.

I believe the final message is: love always wins.

Love is not one’s weakness, love is power, love is strength, it’s a perfect fuel.

Humans declare war in the name of love, kill and get killed in the name of love, but, most importantly, humans live and win those wars in the name of love, too.

7. Go big or go home is on the table, and no one goes home this time.

Supernatural was a bunch of broken glass for soooo long, I think this time writers are gonna give us something good, for a change. Not bittersweet good, but actually cotton-candy-almost-diabetes-sweet good.

Why?

Because *loud and clear* we deserve having good things happening to us!

Also, it’s The End, the creators have nothing to lose, but, on the other hand, the ultimate happy ending would allow them to leave an enormous mark on the world and Supernatural to be known as the only show that actually could.

To sum up:

Dean can’t be happy with Cas gone and, following the logic of prebuilt parallels, he won’t have to - everyone gets their loved ones back at the end, because love always wins.

Cas might be at peace with speaking his truth, saving Dean and being gone, but it is not fair, Dean also deserves a chance to be heard.

Few seasons ago I would laugh in my own face for these arguments, but the philosophy of the show has been transformed. During the last few years we were being prepared for this moment, slowly, gently being led toward this moment.

Supernatural has to give us the Destiel endgame to prove their point.

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helion-ism · 3 years

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let’s talk about elucien

there are so many reasons why I love elain x lucien and why I think these two would not only be amazing together, but also why they belong together. one of those reasons is lucien’s sassy personality, which we already got a glimpse of in acotar (and that I miss terribly btw), and which is, in my opinion, exactly what elain needs in her life. we’re talking about lucien “your eyes are like stars, and your hair like burnished gold” vanserra. we know he’s got quite a big mouth, that’s how we got to know him, but we also know that mouth is exactly what’s gotten him into trouble before. case in point: the eye incident. lucien doesn’t mince his words and yes, that is one of the reasons why elain really needs to spend some more time with him.

she has been coddled by not only her father, nesta, feyre, but also the entire inner circle, which has allowed her to live her life passively. yes, she killed the king of hybern, and good for her, but she did it because nobody else could have done it at that point in time. ever since the war ended, elain has not actively contributed to any plot matters, whether by choice or because someone else took the choice from her. azriel said in acosf, “there is an innate darkness to the dread trove that elain should not be exposed to.” even amren pointed out that elain is capable of defending herself, but for some reason, nobody let her even though elain said she would try to find it: “then I will find it. I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” and yet, by the end of the book, elain’s been barely in it and has not contributed at all. (I know some people claim there’s certain things already happening in the background, but honestly, I’m not satisfied with that development happening off page, so I can’t wait to finally go on her journey and actually see her do stuff)

this moment is crucial:

does it look like she is happy with the way the others treat her? not really. when nesta snapped at her, elain started laughing. that signals relief to me because nesta, the one who has always tried to protect elain the most (nesta baby Ilysm), is the one who suddenly lost her patience. elain needs somebody like lucien, somebody with a big mouth and sassy attitude, who can coax her out of that paralysis she’s been stuck in, a bit like nesta in this scene. additionally, the banter would be top tier. I want another “if I offer you the moon on a string, will you give me a kiss, too?” moment, please. god please. (elain blinks. “and where would you like that kiss?” — and lucien just loses his mind.)

another thing that lives in my head rent free is the fact that lucien has travelled almost everywhere and could introduce elain, who wishes to see more of the world (see: “elain had always wanted to visit the continent to study the tulips and other famed flowers”), to the different courts and the continent. I refuse to accept that we will not get to learn more about the other courts, for my sake, but also for elain’s sake. I want her to see the spring court at least once. I want her to go and see those tulips she’s dreamt of. I want her and lucien to discover the day court as a new home, which brings me to the next point.

elain has been craving sunshine for some time now. there’s several quotes that emphasise her connection to sunshine/light, here are a few of my favourites:

I marveled at it, actually — that those years of poverty hadn‘t stripped away that light from elain.

the suite was filled with sunlight. every curtain shoved back as far as it could go, to let in as much sun as possible. as if any bit of darkness was abhorrent.

she had been always so full of light. perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. to fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been. and now nothing remained.

what can I get you, elain? — sunshine.

elain doesn’t belong into the night court. feyre has found her family there, with rhys and the inner circle. nesta has found (or should I say accepted) cassian and found gwyn and emerie, her chosen sisters. but elain?

elain is somewhere in the background hiding with the twins and tending to gardens of the citizens of velaris. you can’t tell me that is satisfactory to you. she is currently ignoring her seer abilities, and the members of the inner circle are basically encouraging her to do so. the only time she’s been confronted lately was during that conversation with nesta and her reaction was not exactly what any of us readers would have expected, was it? that tells me there’s much more about her we don’t know yet, and I’m convinced we won’t know until she finally leaves and finds her own people, finds herself again and start dealing with everything that happened to her. elain must leave the night court, i.e. the darkness, behind in order to grow.

the same goes to lucien: he’s not at a place where he can just jump into a relationship or mating bond. he’s got so much stuff going on. lucien was forced to abandon his home and his abusive family, his “father” killed the fae he loved in front of his eyes, his best friend is an abusive pos who never appreciated him anyway, and neither has anyone in the night court. lucien is used because of his connections and because of the mating bond that ties him to elain, whether he wanted it or not. feyre knows he would never turn away from elain unless she explicitly wishes him to, and so she and rhys and the others use that to their advantage. it is smart, of course, but at the same time, they also keep important information about his own life from him that could change many, many things. so he’s spending his time with mortals in the human lands — a place where he as a fae really does not belong.

lucien being the heir to the day court, well, to me, it feels like sjm is practically screaming it into our face: how could he find a home in the night court, the literal opposite to the day? darkness vs. light. and what about elain “he’d never once in the two years he’d known her found elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court … it sucked the life from her” archeron? just looking at the symbolism, not only do the quotes from above indicate that the night court cannot possibly be her home, but also very recent quotes from the latest book. elain is a side character in the night court. and so is lucien. they both need to leave in order to become main characters — and it doesn’t even matter that both are already crucial to the further plot of the series because how can they possibly contribute to it in a place where they are both kept down?

mor said in acofas: “stay out of it. she’s not ready, and neither is he, no matter how many presents he brings.” and “let him figure out where he wants to be. who he wants to be. the same goes with her.” mor’s power is “truth”, whatever that means. but there you have it. they’re not ready to be with each other yet, and that’s okay.

[elain and lucien are also connected not only because of the mating bond, but also because of the plot. lucien must know quite a lot about her and her sisters simply because of all the time he spent with their father. the father who made a bargain with koschei. koschei who put a spell on vassa. lucien is therefore tied to both papa archeron as well as koschei and vassa. elain, we know, is a seer, despite her not using her abilities (or is she, and we simply don’t know?). elain is (obviously) connected to her father, but also to koschei and vassa (remember those visions she had).]

now let’s get to the mating bond stuff, and I need to say this loud and clear: elain has always had and will always have one (1) true mate. there’s no such thing as “false mate” or even multiple mates. there has been no indication whatsoever. lucien is the mate the cauldron had given her when she was born. and elain is the mate the cauldron had given him when he was born. even when she was still human, they already belonged together — tied together by strings of fate. absolutely nothing will change this fact. should elain reject the bond, lucien will remain a part of her life/her soul forever. should lucien reject the bond, elain will remain a part of his life/his soul forever.

when she was still human, lucien had already felt a pull between them and tried to save and protect her from hybern. when elain was already fae, when it came to protecting her, azriel clapped cassian’s shoulder and left (is this the true mate they’re all talking about?). it’s unfair to lucien, elain, AND azriel and this comparison alone is enough to disprove this theory.

the thing is, lucien has been nothing but respectful, kind and caring towards elain. when he arrived in velaris in acowar, he could immediately sense what she needed and said, “she needs fresh air” (vs. the response “we’ll judge what she needs”) and “take her to the sea. take her to some garden. but get her out of this house for an hour or two.” (I’m gonna make another post about this because I have a few thoughts on this)

of course, she doesn’t owe him anything, but elain herself doesn’t wish to be treated like a child, she maybe she should start acting like an adult because although she doesn’t owe lucien an apology or explanation, she has to have a conversation with him, like two responsible adults. there is no way feyre or anyone in the inner circle hasn’t told her that she can reject the bond and move on with her life. but just like her powers, this is another thing she chooses to ignore. I’m not blaming her because I know she has to work through her trauma first and heal, but by the end of the series, she has to acknowledge that at least.

in acosf, elain says “I am not a child to be fought over” when they discuss the dread trove. I wonder what she would say about the fact azriel threatens to challenge lucien to the blood duel because of her? based on literally everything we know about lucien, I can say with certainty that he would not physically fight over elain. if she only had a conversation with him and told him to move on and leave her alone, lucien would do just that. he would leave her alone and try to move on as best as he could (which we know is difficult for males). but he would never act as entitled to her as to demand a blood duel and fight to death. it goes against his principles.

to finish this off, sjm summing up everything I just said:

#elucien #mating bond #mp

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pekorosu · 4 years

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just a lil “if ash lived” headcanon that i need to unload somewhere bc i've been holding it in for a long time

- set within the manga ‘verse

- takes place when ash and eiji are in their early 30s... so around the mid 1990s?

- i don’t get the weird animanga trope where older = longer hair, so they’re gonna look the same... maybe with slightly shorter hair bc they get regular haircuts now

- (note: i've always interpreted long-haired eiji as symbolic of the fact that he couldn't move on from ash’s death)

- ash and eiji will continue living in the states, idk if still in NYC or somewhere else. they’ll move around a lot though.

- ash will mostly remain underground as he had to fake his death after lao’s stab, but he does it in a "hiding in plain sight" kind of way. only a handful of people know he’s still alive.

- ash spends most of his time on the computer, mostly coding, hacking, being a nerd, among other fun stuff.

- he also takes on “jobs” anonymously, and occasionally from max (who’s still into investigative journalism) when he needs info that can only be obtained through Dubious Means.

- i also like to think that ash's a bit of a hacker robin hood lol. but he isn’t doing it purely out of the goodness of his heart, as part of it is a subconscious need to atone for his “sins” and cleanse the gnawing and persistent feeling of shame that gets amplified when he’s around eiji.

- also whatever he’s up to these days would ofc still be Highly Dangerous and Illegal, but it keeps him busy and would sate the part of him that’s still hungry for adrenaline without him having to engage in stuff like active bloodshed or substance abuse. basically that’s how i imagine he’d try to cope with life the only way he knows.

- eiji continues to do photography and other part time gigs bc he does not like the idea of mooching off ash forever, and he slowly makes a name for himself.

- ash and eiji live together but they are NOT together in a romantic sense... not yet >:)

- therefore eiji will probably date other people in the meantime, which gets a little troublesome bc it's not like he can bring them home to where his secret Very Important Friend is secretly hiding.

- ash will maybe have one-night stands every now and then. or not. idk. this isn’t a very important detail.

- anyway there will be lots of clueless but mutual pining :)

- ash especially, is of the opinion that they should start living separately bc someone will eventually track him down, maybe someone who has a past or present grudge on him. combined with his current activities, it’s only a matter of time before eiji would unwittingly get dragged into his problems again.

- eiji is v adamantly against that plan bc he's sorta developed a debilitating sense of paranoia that ash might just get killed somewhere while he’s not looking. not that ash isn’t paranoid either, but his insecurities often tip the scale over to “eiji is safer away from me” than “with me”.

- basically they’re doing their whole “stay. no, leave. no, stay” dance all over again, but like, dragged out over MANY YEARS.

- you thought eiji’s letter would’ve cleared up any crossed wires?

- HELL NO

- like yea, there was probably a beautiful honeymoon period of about a year or two after they reunited, before their respective trauma and issues started creeping in and fucking things up again.

- esp on ash’s end, i think he’d engage in a lot of self-sabotage. and eiji is only human, he has his own limits and baggage too.

- there will be a government conspiracy plotline but on a smaller scale compared to canon that i am unfortunately not knowledgeable enough to worldbuild on, but it will probably have something to do with cybercrime/cyberterrorism/stuff like that bc it needs to tie in with ash's hacking shenanigans.

- i've heard that sing ends up becoming some sorta political big shot in yasha? idk, i haven't read it myself, but since china’s rising status was mentioned in GoL i imagine the plot should relate to that somehow.

- therefore sing would also get to be in this story!

- i guess this means yut-lung would come into the picture at some point as well, and it would be a good opportunity for a redemption arc but i haven’t given it much of a thought bc i’m indifferent to his character orz SORRY.

- look i can’t do plot, but i am basically envisioning a political thriller with a side of slow burn romance (wait, you mean like a rehash of canon?)

- i’m thinking max is the one who kicks off the story by bringing something fishy to ash, and they just end up uncovering more and more and MORE stuff as they keep going.

- so for like 80% of the story, ash and eiji will be separated bc ash will be busy spying or infiltrating something... and being at the center of Plot Things, while max and eiji will be more on the outside dealing with the journalist side of things. i’m fond of max-ash interactions but i’m also REALLY CURIOUS about max-eiji’s dynamic :D

- meanwhile sing will be like, half in and half out i imagine. he's versatile like that lol

- ...i did NOT mean that in a dirty way

- anyway, this will provide ash and eiji ample space to work out their issues separately, as i think living in close quarters for so many years has actually been aggravating them. ofc those issues don’t get 100% resolved by the end, but some time apart from each other to cool off and spend with other people should provide a bit of perspective.

- i want ash to make some NEW FRIENDS (!!!) that are on the same wavelength as him bc there’s only so much that he can tell eiji and i’m sure he gets rather lonely, so there will be OCs that he will meet in the middle of Plot Things.

- ash will get trapped at some point. preferably with sing so they can have a much needed heart-to-heart talk. they’ll have a lot to hash out, ranging from the events in BF, shorter’s and lao’s death, all the way to ash’s love life.

- btw i like the idea of eiji and sing being close drinking buddies who confide in one another but ash is kinda, justalittle, not very happy about that LOL

- i mean, it's not like eiji can confide in ash when ash is the topic at hand, ya get me? as for sing, he’s similar to ash in the sense that they live dangerous lives, so i imagine he just finds it nice to be able to hang out with someone mundane like eiji every now and then.

- not to say that ash and sing aren’t talking to each other at all, but i think they’d have a bit of a rift between them. sing probably does feel some resentment, both at ash for killing lao AND at himself bc he knows deep down that given a choice, he would’ve saved ash over his own brother. ash can sense that tortured vibe, so eiji’s like their middle man. AND THAT’S WHY THEY NEED A HEART-TO-HEART TALK

- (SIDE NOTE: i want akira to have a role in this too. i actually have a separate headcanon that happens prior to this story... kinda like an alternate GoL?

akira goes to the states to visit eiji, but ash is also there, yeah? akira and ash start out sorta prickly with each other bc ash is all weird and standoffish and always cooped up in his room. she probably mistook him as a jobless model mooching off eiji at first since 1) eiji and ibe have never spoken about him back in japan (cuz he’s supposed to be dead), 2) why would eiji be living with some random hot guy? unless they met during one of his photography gigs? right???

and then she ends up witnessing them in the middle of a tiff, which makes her not like ash even more bc HOW DARE HE YELL AT POOR OKUMURA-SAN??? UNGRATEFUL JERK!!!

but over the course of her visit, she snoops around learns a bit about their history and gathers hints as to why their r’ship is kinda strained. also ash and akira somehow end up bonding (reluctantly) over their emotional insecurities and part on a friendly rivalry to win over eiji’s affections (which eiji is completely oblivious to. also akira may have been 100% serious but ash was just jokingly playing along with her (OR WAS HE???)). anyway long story short, ash teaches akira some cool tech/IT stuff along the way so that leads to her gaining an interest in the field.

she won’t be able to do much in this story, but a minor role would be cool :)

^ a lighthearted gyoza-making scene amid all the angst)

- (SIDE NOTE #2: i ALSO want cain to feature in this, but bc canon provided very little bg info on him it’s hard for me to figure out where he’d fit. but i suppose that’s precisely why it would be great to include him, since i can just make up my own backstory! lol. for now, i think he should be connected to one of the new OCs to make him more central to the plot. or heck, he can be involved himself! ...yeah, i’m just salty about how cain was treated more like a convenient plot device compared to the other major side characters. we barely know anything about him even though he was one of ash’s most trusted allies. #caindeservedbetter2k20)

- anyway, back to the main story. ash (and his new "friends") barely escape where they’re held hostage. ash would be rusty with combat now as he’s spent the past few years doing only stealth work and being rather sedentary.

- so there’ll be lotsa old man!ash jokes like them poking fun at him whenever he complains about his back hehe

- when they finally emerge outside they find themselves in the middle of nowhere! they then hijack a passing pickup truck and do a roadtrip back to civilisation. ROAD TRIP FTW

- at this point, quite some time has already passed and ash even has a fuzzy beard and mane and all. he’s standing at the back of the truck with a small smile on his face and the wind blowing in his hair, thinking GONNA GO BACK AND SEE EIJI, MISS HIM LOADS, HELL YEA

- (bonus: this song and this scene is the catalyst for this entire headcanon btw)

(drew this about a year ago. i was trying to imitate the manga’s art style... and the ash i had in my mind was a little different. i’m too lazy to redraw, but he’s fuzzier now okay! MORE FUZZ! like an actual freakin LION!)

- meanwhile, eiji and max will get into some deep shit around this point?

- eiji in the pic above was me imagining that the Bad Guys had tossed some damning evidence (eg. severed body part?) on the ground like “ash’s dead/ash’s in a lot of danger now so hand over all the info u have”

- and eiji and max are like. SHOOKETH

- this would be the 3rd time ash has “died” after all, and as they say... 3rd time's the charm...

- eiji almost gives in, but then max spits in their face like fuck no and then... yeah. they get beat up and taken away or something lol

- EDIT: hmm... what if the Bad Guy is someone IN the government, and he uses his power to get eiji and max arrested for aiding and abetting a wanted fugitive (ash). and then ash has to rescue them... JAILBREAK STYLE

- also it might be cool to introduce ash's mom somewhere in this story... maybe SHE'S the villain! mwahaha *drama intensifies*

- anyways they will get saved by ash and gang bc that’s just the way things go, BUT! only on the condition they already made it out at least 80% of the way bc GODDAMN IT👏LET👏EIJI👏BE👏BADASS👏FOR👏ONCE👏

- (that is, after he overcomes the initial shock of ash possibly being dead again... again...... again............)

- there will ofc be moments of “oh my god, you’re okay” "i thought i lost you...!"

- something like this, because one can never have enough cheesy reunion scenes

- this will eventually lead to REVELATIONS (of the romantic kind, yes)

- buuuut they will never say "i love you" directly to each other bc ash is too emotionally constipated and eiji is too japanese. it's okay, they will communicate it through heated stares 👀

- i would love for there to be a scene where they have to be separated again for Plot Reasons and ash sorta hesitantly goes all "...will you wait for me?" as a direct parallel to canon!eiji's "i'll be waiting" and it’s like,

- FINALLY!

- FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! ash has finally allowed himself to ask for this, to let himself want it!

- and eiji would be like OF COURSE I WILL YOU BIG DUMMY, ALWAYS AND FOREVER

- but i think it'd be hilarious if eiji pops up while ash's in the middle of the final showdown and ash's like WTF I TOLD YOU TO WAIT FOR ME and eiji's like I WAS WORRIED OKAY YOU WERE TAKING SO LONG

- idk how this is supposed to end...

- oh wait! since the plot is government-related, maybe Someone will be able to pull strings to wipe out ash’s criminal record (past and present) and give him a brand new 100% legal identity, as thanks for his efforts? or maybe ash (or sing) just does it himself somewhere along the way LOL. anyway, he’ll be able to start over with a fresh clean slate and finally work on recovery FOR REAL NOW. yes this is a happy ending AND it didn’t require him to go to japan /flips off canon

- ...i realise it’s never going to be that simple but W H A T E V E R

- (also they probably will visit japan in the future with that shiny new passport... gotta meet the in-laws and all y’know)

- who do i gotta pay to write this cheesy self-indulgent fic for me

#since tumblr is for talking to myself that is exactly what im gonna do now #a very long self-indulgent post //#banana fish

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goldenlaquer · 4 years

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Hey ! Adding some Drifters content here : what kind of husbands/fathers do you think Toyohisa and Naoshi would be ? Btw, thank you for the quality content of your blog

Hello! Thank you so much for reading my blog! (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) Once again, I’ll separate the headcanons for husband and fathers. I apologize for the inconvenience, but I’d like to space out Drifters content, or else my Gintama content will drown it out! I hope you like it :)

Aw shit, this is going to be long.

Drifters Husband Headcanons:

Butch Cassidy:

Before, marriage wasn’t something Cassidy entertained very often or at all. Just didn’t figure himself the marrying type. It also didn’t particularly help that the only women in his time who were willing to hitch it with a wanted outlaw were the same types that wouldn’t think twice about stealing the lint right out of his pockets while he slept. Not exactly wife material. ‘Sides, Cassidy very much liked his arrangements with women in the past. No hassle. No baggage. Just fun and booze and sex, and then the next day, he’d be off for the next gig without a single glance backward. The arrangement suited a criminal like him just fine,

until you; the finest female he’s ever met in all of the wild west and the strange new world, from your head and to your tippy-toes and down to the funny thing they call ‘personality’. A one-night stand doesn’t even come close to what he has with you. All of the sudden, Cassidy finds himself warming up more and more to the idea of marriage. In fact, he’d be a damn fool to not put a ring on that left hand of yours!

Oh boy, does Kid get a kick outta this. Marriage? For the fellow who said that there wouldn’t be a heavy enough ring to hold him down for a single woman? That fellow? ( “Alright, alright, Kid,” Cassidy mutters. “Stop laughin’. I said stop laughing, you sonuvabitch.”)

Kid can laugh and joke all he wants, but Cassidy can’t find a damn thing in himself that says he regrets the marriage.

the romance will never fizzle out, never; he keeps it alive with his silver-tongue and flirty lips. Like, the compliments just keep on coming while he’s bending over the ring finger, eye winking roguishly up at your heated face as he presses a kiss to the cool metal (maybe a few nips at the surrounding skin)

He ain’t leaving you behind to play wife while he’s gone. Nuh-uh, you’re coming everywhere with him, every corner of the world, delivering messages and supplies. Even when the action picks up and the wagon turns into a getaway vehicle, he keeps you close by, weapons drawn and deftly firing at away any enemies gutsy enough to reach for you. There are plenty enough bullets for every bastard who thinks they can touch his wife like that.

It’s a ride-or-die. Ride-or-die.

Kanno Naoshi:

Marriage with Naoshi is calm and peaceful.

Nah, I’m fucking with you.

It isn’t exactly calm. Or peaceful. It’s Naoshi.

But starting a family was something he considered to be done in times of peace, when the war is over and he can return back home without scanning the skies for any incoming bomber planes. After all, there’s no point in marrying someone and then make a widow out of her.

And in this world, his odds of surviving are just as bad if not worse, but everything is too unpredictable, his future too murky and goddamn uncertain that it makes Naoshi snap and say fuck it-- he’s marrying you, no matter how bad his odds are, because he can’t just wait and wait forever, fretting like some sissy. He’s gonna man up and tie the knot so tight that he’ll never leave you behind.

If there are no shinto priests around, he’ll (forcefully) dress a poor beastman or Scipio up as one, to conduct a very wack-ass replica of the wedding ceremony back home.

You’re part of his chaotic decision-making. As belligerent as he is, the road isn’t a one-man show anymore now that you and him are married. Everything he does, he does with you. He listens to you. Your input matters. (Within reason, of course, because if you tell him something dumb, he’ll tell you it’s dumb. But vice versa, he counts on you to call him out if he does some stupid shit.)

Naoshi works even harder on his plane. He wants the thing up and running as soon as possible. He’ll be damned if he couldn’t give his wife the best view of any world-- the sky in all its glory and the earth miles down below, every tree, plant, and animal as small as ants-- he wants you beside him in the cockpit. He wants to see your eyes and face light up in wonder and happiness as you look down. He wants to see that sight for the rest of his damn life.

As you might expect, marital fighting. If your temper is even one-tenths of his temper, the arguments are inevitable and constant. Starts as easily as breathing air and drinking water. They are mostly petty, petty things that have no real animosity behind them. Actually, arguing with him is quite therapeutically cathartic, in the sense that you know you'll never need to hold back your emotions on him. Though, once in a while, a serious argument does pop off, leaving both parties hurt and angry. Even in the worst moments, he’ll never let a sunset go down on a fight, coming to you by the end of the day to mend things in his own rough, endearing way.

In your marriage, fighting does not break bonds, it strengthens.

Shimazu Toyohisa:

It’s just a part of life for Toyohisa; he never thought about it too much. In the warring states of Japan, samurai families were very much into the politically arranged marriage stuff, so there was no need for him to go out and find himself a wife. He focused all his strength and efforts on the battlefield in the name of the Shimazu Clan, and that was about as domestic as he got.

The concept of marriage is so far from his mind, that it’ll take ages for him to even think about it even if y’all are in a relationship. You are his. He is yours. Wife or not, those are the facts, so he doesn’t need any other labels.

I D I O T, Nobunaga hits Toyohisa over the head (”Idiot! Idiot!” Yoichi cheers from behind the scene.) Listen, you silly boy. Woman are monopolizing creatures. They want everything: your thoughts, your fidelity, and your heart. Matrimony is just one of those things. If you aren’t husband and wife, she’s going to hold it against you and never tell you about it. Eventually, one day, she’s not going to take it anymore and she’ll betray you--

Aa? Not everyone thinks twisted like you, old man!

If he’s going to marry you, he’s not going to do it just because some paranoid warlord told him to do it. He’s going to use marriage, not as some political scheme or placation, but to symbolize that you have his thoughts, fidelity, and heart.

husband!toyohisa is just soooooo ahhhhh

Toyohisa does have to admit, there is something about you referring to yourself as his wife to others. Oh yeah, that’s his possessive, monopolizing side talkin’.

You have the upper hand over him in domestic situations. He’s got no clue nor talent about most of this stuff, but Toyohisa is nothing if not a trier. Full of grit, this one.

You have his ardent loyalty and protection, without a doubt. He will defend your person and honor until his last breath. And if you’re a fighter like him (which he doesn’t approve of in the first place), Toyohisa is going to try everything in the book to get you off the field. During battle, he always goes into a higher state of consciousness to achieve that demon-like intensity and power, but the thought of you in danger makes him falter, it is too horrific and too distracting for him. This could be the hill in your marriage, that bump in the road that will take time to get across, but no matter what, remember that Toyohisa loves you.

#drifters #drifters headcanon #drifters imagine #shimazu toyohisa #kanno naoshi #butch cassidy #answered ask #asks closed

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smartzelda · 4 years

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Okay, so now that that's out of the way, here are all my thoughts on the khmom

So starting out, I know some were hoping this was the big Kairi game, and I'm sad it didn't live up to my hopes in that regard, but we also have to remember that Nomura said in interview before it came out not to expect too much, and then we learned that the story mode is an average of 10 hours.

As a fandom we need to remember that KHMoM was never advertised as "the big Kairi game", so while you can be sad that the game didn't live up to your hopes and dreams, Nomura did not "basically" tell us we were gonna get a big Kairi game and then let us down. With all due respect, this game is only a "Kairi game" in the sense that she's on the front cover and the story cutscenes at the end show her side of searching for Sora. Even the advertisements and interviews about this game were mostly focused on the rhythm game aspect, so besides cutscenes, the only talk about Kairi was the change from Chirithy to her doing narration

Now let's continue on keeping in mind that this is all my opinion and analysis, and there are various opinions out there.

Let's start with Kairi, since most of this game is about her. I haven't played the game myself yet (I watched cutscenes for now), but although it's sad Kairi herself wasn't part of any teams (which honestly makes sense since she wasn't a main character focused on in any of the games as much as those chosen for teams. KH1, CoM, and KH2 really were Sora, Donald, and Goofy, Days really was our sea salt trio, wayfinder trio was obviously the main protagonists for BBS, and even though Sora was in DDD, Sora is already on a team and Riku got a bigger charactsr focus in that game, so why not include the dream eater pals. And then honestly kh3 was Donald and Goofy and Sora again), at least we get her in the end. And her getting a small playable section at the end honestly makes sense considering the cutscene portion is the part of the game about her/following her/focuses on her, and she's been getting better as a keyblade wielder.

Now, this section shows us the pink flower thing from remind, and I'm even more convinced that it isn't her heart. For one, in remind, it was used in kh2 fashion, like an object to create a pathway to the next world or in this case Kairi herself. Then, in this game, while she's sleeping and in the final world, she finds it and it breaks apart. If it was Kairi's heart, would it make sense for it to break apart inside of her and not have an affect on her or her body? And what convinces me more is that after you collect all these pieces of the flower with Kairi, she clutches her head and has a memory moment.

What is the pink flower thing, then, you wonder? Well tbh I wonder too, but I had a thought. It's not essential enough to her state of being to be her heart, but it's definitely a part of her or a representation of part of her. My thought is that it could be a semi-physical representation of her memories or a physical metaphor of her state of being at the time it shows up. For example, in remind, it could have been scattered pices of her memory, because we remember that in kh3 they learned that a person (like Roxas, Xion, etc) couldn't completely come back or wake up from wherever their hearts were until their memories were returned to them too. So if the flower is representative of her memory, it then would make sense why it needed to be gathered, why it made Sora feel Kairi, and why it can also act as an object related to Kairi that can pave a path to her. It could also be a metaphor for her state of being at the same time since just like the flower, Kairi's body is shattered. This also makes sense for KHMoM, because if it's partly a metaphor representation of Kairi's state of being, then her "state of being" in this case refers to her repressed childhood memories and the links in those chains of memories that have broken apart. And so if the flower is representative of her memories, it would make sense that when she gathered all the pieces she remembered these memories because it brought these repressed memories to light and essentially pieced them back together when she gathered the heart pieces. If not because the flower has to do with her memories, at least in this case, why else would she remember repressed memories after gathering the flower pieces?

Continuing on from here, when Kairi holds her head and begins to remember, we get this interesting turn of the camera that flips Kairi and her reflection in the water before transitioning to the memories. I don't know much about camera techniques, but it definitely symbolizes or means something.

So we get the memory of Apprentice Terranort taking young Kairi (I honestly laughed when it showed him reaching for her just because of that "gimme your phone" meme) and it transitions to showing the scene with Kairi in one of the pods. This scene tells us a few things. For one, somehow, Apprentice Terranort knows about "unreality" or what's essentially a parallel universe to the KH universe, you can somehow get there with a strong enough connection to it (like using someone who's from there like Riku did or your heart resonating in some way with someone there. For example, if Kairi's poh heart resonated with a keyblade wielder from the alternate universe instead of Riku on Destiny Islands). It also may tell us that it's possible that Apprentice Xehanort knew the stuff we learned in the kh3 ending with the Luxu reveal would come to pass. Obviously Xehanort knew by doing what he did with Kairi that he would cause Sora's disappearance, but since we know (from Dark Road I think?) that the ancient wielders went to another world and all that, we know the stuff with Kairi was his final plan, and we know Xehanort got his peaceful death, I don't think Xehanorts final plan with Kairi was a ploy for him to do more summon kingdom hearts or a petty go at removing Sora since he might win. More than likely this "final plan" has to do with preventing a possible future and setting things up accordingly. Apprentice Terranort told 4 yr old Kairi her mission as if it's success would affect the future of the universe. And on one hand it makes sense because they needed a keyblade wielder to defeat the heartless and restore the worlds and lock their keyholes, but what if it's double meaning is that making sure the worlds last past that is dependent on making sure "the keyblade wielder" would also be in the position to prevent a future crisis? Because I doubt Quadratum is gonna only be important for getting Sora and coming back. This place is gonna have some significance, and if preventing or battling the crisis also hinges on the Keyblade wielder going to the alternate universe as Xehanort's backup plan to balance the worlds or keep them safe, then the foretellers, Luxu, the box, and that whole thing are more connected to what's happening in the alternate universe as we would've thought. Anyways, to sorta summarize that, I think that Sora had to have ended up in the Alternate universe to give our main crew a chance of dealing with something big, and if Xehanort couldn't make a new world with the keyblade, he at least had to make sure Sora could be in the right place to make sure things happen as they should to save all the worlds.

Then we get Kairi faced with the man in a cloak who's revealed to be Xehanort. This part also honestly made me laugh because we knew it would be Xehanort, but also on behalf of those who insisted it was MoM (no offense to them btw because I get their thought process. It just kinda made me laugh). I liked this sequence in the khmom trailer (especially in og Japanese because what Kairi says there is better put), and I like it because it essentially serves as Kairi facing her fear and the one who changed her fate head on, channeling all those thoughts and feelings and letting them out. So, whether or not this Xehanort is real or fake, Kairi takes him head on.

Now the fight sequence has a variation of thoughts on it, and here are mine. For one, I spent this whole sequence being so excited because she was fighting so good and hard to the best of her ability. Second, this is memory Xehanort created from her heart, so I like the explanation that he too is influenced by her personal fears and doubts, mainly an insecurity and doubt in her own abilities. So the reason Xehanort is so easily able to catch her keyblade and dodge hits from her (the first time he grabbed it I honestly thought he would insult her and snap it like Xemnas did with Lea) is because no matter how much she wants to defeat him, deep down she doesn't believe she's strong enough, and so here leads into when she turns into Sora.

Now, to preface, if the literal explanation of this from Nomura is "Kairi isn't strong enough so Sora's sleeping heart sensed her danger and possessed her to do the boss fight for her", then I think this sequence is 1000% bad, unnecessary, and people have every right to be mad. However, my thoughts on this scene is that it also has to do with her memories and anxieties. Remember that memory Xehanort says that everything in this specific version of the final world was created by Kairi's heart. And so if her doubts are on her own strength, my thoughts are that it was these doubts and feelings of inferiority that had her become Sora (or a memory Sora more specifically) because she doesn't believe she can win or beat Xehanort with out him yet. In other words, she still felt dependent on him, so in that moment her heart responded by temporarily turning her into Sora to reaffirm her fears (like when she was losing against xehanort) and beat Xehanort for her. If this is true, then that gives some depth to Kairi's character in how she currently percieves herself as of khmom, and maybe how she believes others view her. And with Xehanort's comment, I think it may reaffirm that this Sora is a projection. Because if Sora came there through his bond to Kairi, then there's no reason Kairi would've disappeared or there's no reason why he wouldn't have talked or just something. So then, Xehanort's line about Sora being where his voice cannot reach them has a double meaning. The first is that this Sora that fights memory Xehanort does not speak (and also he's fighting like a controlled puppet without a will of it's own like, did you see his soulless face?), which affirms to him that Sora is in the alternate universe, and the second may be that he realized it's a version of him from Kairi's heart (just like he himself is), and he being there instead of the real Sora affirms that Sora's bonds in this world have broken and he couldn't have been there himself, meaning he must've been in the alternate universe (if not dead, which Xehanort knows he isn't because he knows his final plan with Kairi).

Side note, also during the earlier battle with Xehanort, Xehanort told Kairi she wouldn't find Sora in her heart and that the key to him is in memories long gone. And part of my reaction to that is that I felt validated and angry, because we've been saying that Kairi wouldn't find Sora through the search of her heart and dudebros and s/ks and the like said that we were thinking about our ship and being misogynistic in thinking Kairi wouldn't have that role, and then Xehanort himself, created from Kairi's heart said "You won't find anything here". My other reaction was to "memories long gone", and it honestly made me wonder if it meant that Kairi had some of Sora's memories in her heart that he lost and they're not there anymore, or that the key to Sora is memories of his he not only lost, but are literally missing and in someone no one can reach currently (like within Yozora or something)

So anyways, Xehanort gives Kairi a clue about how to find Sora through that line referring to the alternate universe (again it being brought up in the future for a different thing is why I think Apprentice Terranort gave his speech as a double meaning in the past), and she finally wakes up where the whole lab crew work it out

As for AtW and crew assuming the alternate universe is fictional, that may or may not be true. They worked it out by saying "The opposite of our reality is unreality or fiction", but we also know that could be referring to a parallel universe, meaning both universes could very much be real. As for Yozora telling Sora "this isn't the real world", I'm not gonna go far into it as others have, but if Sora is theoretically inside Yozora's heart, hence how he can visit him in his dream, then Sora is technically not in the real world, but the alternate universe is in the real world. And if the alternate universe is a fake world, it's not impossible, but it's still odd to me how Yozora would be self aware that the world he was born in wasn't real.

Forward from here, Riku enters, Kairi and Riku have their leads to Sora (tbh one of my hopes was that Kairi and Riku would have a real talk about the odd status of their friendship and how it's honestly not great, but maybe it'll happen in the future), and Fairy God Mother magics Kairi and Riku and herself into the final world (sorry this is a bit passive aggressive, but no, we knew that Riku wouldn't need to dream dive into Kairi's dreams to make it into the final world so they could get to Sora). FGM then starts talking about the final key, alerts the two teens about the hearts in the final world, and takes them to Nameless star. It was about this point I literally had a moment over how beautiful Kairi and Nameless star's respective voices sounded because they both sounded so pretty. This is also where they learn that shibuya in the other universe is named Quadratum (haha another square reference I see, square😂), and FGM says that you can get to the other universe with the power of waking and Nameless Star's strong dream and will. I honestly can't wait until we get to see Nameless star for real and hear her name. It's honestly so sweet that Riku wanted to make her dream come true (in like a "Riku is so nice and sweet" way, not in a shippy way) and was also willing to help her not just because she could lead him to Sora.

Then, FGM informs the crew that this is as far as she goes, and leaves the rest to Riku. This is another widely opinionated section of MoM's story, because here Kairi expresses her wishes to go and is ultimately rejected. I have seen people rant about how Riku is a misogynist and explain this scene as if Riku literally told Kairi "You're too weak", shoved her aside, and called her useless, but here's an analysis of the scene with some of my pov. That part wasn't nearly as bad as people exaggerated it to be. When Kairi expressed her wish to go, Riku literally stuttered, failing to actually say she can't. He didn't even really say anything before Kairi sighed and was like "I know". So to say Riku is misogynistic for that?😬 Also, this is a completely new universe, one where Yen Sid didn't even let Mickey Mouse follow, and as FGM said you have to have the power of waking to get there. Kairi is strong, as memory Xehanort said, but she's not to master level (or at Sora or Riku's level for that matter), not strong enough to deal with a whole new world, especially since her only real experience was being plunged into war just after some training (like Sora and Riku got this whole experience starting with dealing with low level heartless and getting used to it all, and they had been practicing and self teaching themselves how to fight since they were kids, to which Kairi did not), and she doesn't have the power of waking, so no matter how much Kairi wants to go with Riku, as he was trying to tell her and failing, it's not possible for her right now. It's like how Sora wanted so badly to join Riku and Mickey in the RoD on saving Aqua, but he hadn't regained his strength yet and didn't have the Power of Waking. Example one of the Kingdom Hearts fandom's double standards: Sora being denied access to also go to the RoD to save Aqua because he doesn't have the strength or PoW is fine, but Kairi being denied access to also go to the alternate universe with Riku for the same reasons is Misogyny🙄.

And also on Kairi's rejection to go with Riku to the alternate universe, I felt like this moment was a parallel to kh1 that showed that Kairi is beginning her character development. In kh1, Kairi insisted to go with Sora to save Riku, and Sora outright said she would be in his way so she couldn't go (idk what it says in the jp version), and after being told this, Kairi accepts her situation and resigns to wait on the islands for Sora to return with Riku. During this whole time she also makes no effort to train. However, in this moment in khmom, when Riku fails to stutter out "No", Kairi very visibly and audibly is frustrated when she says "I know". She's been here before, but it says something that her being left like this, waiting to the side, isn't something she wants anymore. She wants to go, and she's frustrated that she still can't. And I know this came off to people as "Nomura is just shafting Kairi again", but in my opinion if he wanted to toss her aside, he wouldn't have done this. He would've had her okay with Riku going by himself from the get-go and had Kairi just kind of go "well, back to training with Merlin again". Heck, if he really wasn't doing anything with her, he would have just left her while FGM and Riku met Nameless star in the Final World. But what he did was present us a Kairi that is strong, but knows she needs to be stronger. He gave us a Kairi that is visibly frustrated in knowing she can't help her best friend. And her response after accepting she can't go currently? She takes the initiative to train under Aqua (a real keyblade master), meaning that she really wants to take the steps to get stronger now, and she tells Riku that one day she'll stand by him and Sora (not just Sora). The girl has resolved to take her own path and take real responsibility for her training so she never has to stay behind again. It's showing Kairi's shift from "Sora and Riku are leaving me behind and I'm struggling to catch up so I try to make sure they come back to me or I do the bare minimum to still be around them" to "I take control of my own destiny, and I'm gonna close this gap myself, by my own efforts, not by waiting for them to do something". I'm fully aware Nomura could still shaft Kairi, but I truly feel like this little we got in khmom is the beginning of her development as a character. And I feel this way because while remind at times arguably came off as pandering to people who wanted K to do something, khmom, taking into account all the things Nomura could have done instead of what he did, felt more genuine, and actually made me hopeful and excited for her character and what she does in the future. Also, example two of the Kingdom Hearts fandom's double standards: Riku struggling to tell Kairi she can't go with him (and him not actually saying it) is considered misogynistic by this fandom, but Sora in kh1 bluntly telling Kairi she would be in his way and therefore couldn't go is "UwU he's protecting his love! So cute!"🙄

Anyways, going forward, I'm so excited to witness some actual development for Kairi amd seeing her interact with the wayfinder trio! Like training with Aqua? Yes!

Also, not to be passive-aggressive, but I know a number of S/Rs who would like an apology for being told that believing that Riku would be the one to save Sora was us reaching and being delusional and thinking Kairi wouldn't go is misogynistic🙂

Anyways, besides that, Soriku endgame actually?! Like Sorikus and Riku stans how you feeling about all this? Like, can you believe we were right when we said Riku would go save Sora? Can you believe in the same week we got confirmation Riku would be the one to go save Sora, we learned that there would be three sets of Soriku Nendoroids? Like we just keep on winning and honestly that makes me so happy. I honestly can't wait to see not only Kairi's training and possible future development, but also Riku's journey! This may have just been a bridge game, but I'm so excited!😊

#khmom #melody of memory #kingdom hearts melody of memory #khmom spoilers #melody of memory spoilers #kh spoilers #kingdom hearts spoilers #kingdom hearts melody of memory spoilers #long post #mentions of Misogyny

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thatwitchyaunt · 3 years

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Makeup for Magick/Ritual: Imbolc

So, this is a post that got taken own off of reddit because, apparently, a post about makeup as a tool in witchcraft is not... about... witchcraft? Okay? Anyway, this is the copy/paste of the original first post and the rest of this series will be here, so I hope you enjoy. And to anyone coming here from r/witchcraft, welcome to the absolute hot mess that is The Whatever Book!

“Well, here we go! The first post in (hopefully) a series that some of you were surprisingly interested in! Not gonna lie, I thought it would get a bunch of downvotes and that'd be that, but here we are! Before I start, quick disclaimer: My current phone is a 3S, so the pictures aren't the... best quality. But it's what we're working with. Now let's get into it!

So, quick cheeky recap of what I said in my original post: My other passion besides witchcraft is makeup. It's how I express myself artistically and I often use themed makeup looks as a way to celebrate the sabbats, doubling as offerings on Imbolc and Lammas/Lughnasadh. Sometimes, I even incorporate themed looks into spellwork in the same way I would decorate an intention-specific altar. (I fully blame Ms. Frizzle for my love of themed/inspired-by makeup looks, btw.) Now let's get into the post! First sabbat: Imbolc.

Generally, my rituals focus on the more fiery aspect of Lady Brighid on Imbolc; so reds, oranges and yellows are what I reach for. Depending on what you focus on (cleansing/purification, healing, the returning warmth, prep for Spring, new growth, etc), what you choose may be way different. So lets take a peek at the palettes I have in my collection that I can see fitting this coming up sabbat, starting with Colourpop!

Here we have the "Uh Huh, Honey" palette, the "Orange You Glad?" palette and the "Main Squeeze" palette. I'd use these three together for my more fiery looks, but "Uh Huh, Honey" could be paired with a more icy look if your focus is on the returning warmth.

Speaking of! This is the "Going Coconuts" palette, "Blue Moon" palette, "Mint to Be" palette and "Just My Luck" palette.

"Going Coconuts" is definitely a good, affordable neutral palette for Imbolc. It's neutral, but can lean on the icier side thanks to the shade "Palm Reader". Add a pop of yellow from the "Uh Huh, Honey" palette and you're set for a "returning warmth" look.

Then there's the "Blue Moon" and "Mint to Be" palettes, which are both good for the more healing/cleansing aspects of Imbolc. "Blue Moon" can go icy (and be paired with "Uh Huh, Honey" for the returning warmth), or can be used to represent Brighid's healing/cleansing waters. The shades in "Mint to Be" are somewhere between wintery greens and spring greens, so perfect for Imbolc! These mints give me very "fresh and clean" vibes, and also would not be out of place on a set of nurse scrubs. More gentle healing than "Blue Moon".

"Just My Luck" is your girl if you're going for the green of "new growth". Try pairing with "Mint to Be" for a more interesting green look.

The last CP palette I'd look at is the "Yes, Please" palette. It's a descent dupe for the Give Me Glow "Extra Spicy" palette if it's sold out. This is Colourpop's original eyeshadow palette and has those fiery tones I reach for this time of year.

Then, onto the Give Me Glow palettes, there's the "Extra Spicy" palette. I would reach for this one over the "Yes, Please" palette, because it's a better formula and is multi-functional. "Mild", "Spicy Peach Martini" and "Habanero" make for really great blushes and "Ghost Pepper" is a really cool fiery-yellow highlighter. This is being discontinued, however, so If you want it you need to grab it while you can. 10/10, would absolutely recommend!

Next is "The Grunge" palette and the "Sweet & Sticky" palette. Both are descent neutral/nude palettes for this time of year (if you aren't like me and are down for to look like a "Happy Clown") "The Grunge" palette has some interesting matte pops and has two metallics that could lean either warm or cool depending on what you pair with it. It's currently out of stock, and I'm not sure if it's coming back? This past Black Friday, they had it labeled as "discontinued" but I'm not 100% sure.

"Sweet & Sticky" is a cinnamon bun themed palette, and the colors are spot on! I absolutely consider cinnamon buns to be an appropriate food for Imbolc, what with the white icing (melting snow) paired with the cinnamon filling (warmth) in the roll (earth). An excellent small palette for neutral lovers, and "Icing Drip" and "Sweet Cinnamon Latte" are good highlighters depending on your skin tone.

The last Give Me Glow palette is the "Summer Vibes" palette! Specifically for the shades "Orange Soda Pop", "Mango Margarita" and "Sunny". Again, for the fiery aspect of the Sabbat. All the shades in this palette are available in singles, but I'd say just get the palette if you're interested in it. This will definitely come up again in my post for Litha/Summer Solstice, no doubt about it.

Now onto BH Cosmetics! We'll start with the two bigger palettes I chose this time around: "The Zodiac" palette and the Holiday 2020 "Naughty" palette. "The Zodiac" is a that cool with a pop of warm that fots the Sabbat, and the formula is gorgeous! The middle shade is a baked highlighter as well, and looks great on fair/light skintones (don't ask me about deeper skin tones, since I'm out here looking like Casper the Friendly Ghost and have absolutely no clue).

The "Naughty" palette... I'd say it's the only holiday palette that I've seen in the past few years that a brand actually put any real thought and effort into. And the formula's 10/10, so well done, BH! If you want to do a warm tone or cool toned Imbolc look, it's got you. If you want to do a fiery look, it's got you. If you want to do an icy with a pop of fire look, it's got you. It can be used all year round, too, which is pretty great, and you can use it as a sort of anchor palette for different looks. The day I'm writing this (January 18-19, 2021) it's on sale for 60% off, so only $12, and I honestly think you should snatch it up. Definitely going to be showing up in my Yule/Winter Solstice post.

On to the smaller BH palettes! First batch are "Love in London", "Smitten in Switzerland" and "Chillin' in Chicago". These are the three more neutral/"wearable" (eff, I hate that word) palettes in the BH Travel Series. There are a couple more like this, but they'll pop up in later posts.

"Love in London" can go either warm or cool depending on the shades you use, but either way, the tones are deep enough to fit the winter season we're still in.

"Smitten in Switzerland" is more cool-toned, muted-colorful palette with a bright pop. My favorite sage green eyeshadow look is from this palette. Outside of any Sabbat uses, I genuinely cooked up an entire scenario based solely on the vibes of the palette. Like, this is the palette you'd wear if the world was no longer on fire, and you and your family decided to go to a ski lodge for a weekend. You're no winter sports kind of Witch, no skiing or snowboarding for you (you're not here to break all the bones in your body so, hard pass). Instead, you sit by the lodge's fireplace/hearth wearing a cute and cozy sweater, perhaps some cute boots. Maybe you're reading a book or on a laptop/phone/whatever with a mug filled with a hot beverage of your choice, possibly spiked. And there you stay, looking like a cute snow bunny while you wait for the rest of your family to be done nearly getting themselves killed on the slopes.

*Cough cough* Now back to the post... Eh-heh...

"Chillin' in Chicago" is the palette to grab for a muted fiery look. Still has some color to it, but nothing as intense as, lets say, the "Extra Spicy" palette. Great alternative.

Now for the two bright/colorful palettes from BH's Weekend Vibes series. "Avocado Toast" and "Blueberry Muffin". "Avocado Toast" has your greens/warm browns with a pink and yellow pop that'd work great for any "new growth" symbolism. Meanwhile, for my fellow New Englanders, "Blueberry Muffin" gives us those more icy tones for the foot of snow we usually get on, or around, Imbolc. Any other New England Witches just look at that whole "new growth" bit when they first got started and went "B!tch, how?!" ...No? Just me? Side note, "Decadent" is the exact shade of the stain from blueberry juice and that made me idiotically happy. Don't ask, cause I don't know either.

The Shroud Cosmetics "Creepy Cute" palette! Widely considered one of the best pastel palettes on the market (Use code BEAUTBEAN fo 10% off! Did I just plug one of my favorite beauty YouTubers Why yes, yes I did...), it's insanely pigmented! "Void", "Tombstone", "Creep It Real", and "Cold Shoulder" can help you with colder, more wintery looks. "Cold Shoulder" and "Creep It Real" could be used for healing/purification if that's your ritual focus, and "Third Eye" and "Strawberry Milk" could both be used as crease/blending shades for a more fore-based look.

These three are my mainstream "if color is not your jam" palettes. The Tarte "Tartelette Toasted" palette, and the Anastasia Beverly Hills "Soft Glam" palette and "Sultry" palette.

The "Tartelette Toasted" palette is your neutral fiery palette. It gives a nice orange-red "toasted" look that fits the Sabbat well. Not my first choice, but if you're looking for a "basic b!tch" warm palette, she's your girl.

"Soft Glam" and "Sultry" are more warm tone vs. cool tone. If you want a more "cold, thawing earth" vibe, "Sultry" is the way to go. If you want to get it, I think it's only available in bundles on Ulta and the ABH website (but it's like.. half off in Ulta sooooo....). And "Soft Glam", obviously, for the warmer aspects of the Sabbat.

Now, on to my single shadows!

The top five are from Shroud Cosmetics. The first four (left to right) would be good for a fiery look), while the last one would be good to use for a water look/pop.

"World Eater" (Drool-worthy metallic red), "Ignite" (coppery orange metallic), "Vigil" (yellow-gold metallic), "Oracle" (light gold "inner corner highlight" type of metallic), "Sea of Ghosts" (medium blue metallic with a gold shift).

The bottom one is from Colourpop in the shade "Glass Bull", which is the perfect inner corner highlight for icier blue/purple looks.

Last, but certainly not least, my Give Me Glow Singles!

The amount of times I had to curate these singles so they would fit into one large palette.. I just... That's why this took three years to figure out. Anyways, I have a few different color stories in this palette, so stick with me more a second.

*Row 1 (L-R)*

"Marshmallow" - White matte. Pretty basic.

"Halo" - White metallic with baby blue and gold shifts. Perfect inner corner pop of sun for icy looks.

"Satellite" - Straight up silver metallic. If the Tin Man is your fashion icon, this'll do ya.

"Bubbles" - Icy blue metallic.

"Sky High" - Bright sky blue matte. Not pictured because mine came broken, but it's legit the perfect Imbolc blue.

"Blue Jeans" - Muted grey-blue metallic.

*Row 2 (L-R)*

"Cream Please" - Basic cream shade.

"Spring Break" - Green-blue with gold shift.

"Kiwi" - Kiwi Green. What it says on the tin.

"Joker" - Olive green metallic with lime undertones.

"Patty"- Just a true green matte.

"Space Dust" - Deep Smokey true grey.

*Row 3 (L-R)*

"On Ice" - Pale champagne nude metallic.

"Highlight" - Pale champagne gold metallic.

"Lucky Charm" - Golden yellow metallic.

"Fierce" - Pale orangy peach matte.

"You're Cheesy" - Mac and cheese orange metallic.

"Low Battery" - True red orange matte, more on the red side.

*Row 4 (L-R)*

"Selfie" - Burnt golden orange metallic.

"Hashtag" - Grungy medium toned orange matte.

"Chili" - Deep blue based rusty red matte.

"Icy Frap" - Icy warm champagne metallic with taupe undertones.

"Iced Coffee" - Deep bronze gold metallic.

"Dark as My Soul" - Grungy deep warm brown matte.

Now on to the color stories:

*Color Story 1* Icy Blue with a sunny gold pop on the inner corner (returning warmth)

Marshmallow, Halo, Satellite, Bubbles, Sky High, Blue Jeans, Space Dust.

*Color Story 2* Greens (new growth)

Cream Please, Spring Break, Kiwi, Joker, Patty, Space Dust, On Ice.

*Color Story 3* Brighid's Fire

Highlight, Lucky Charm, Fierce, You're Cheesy, Low Battery

*Color Story 4* Warming earth (warm tone browns)

Selfie, Hashtag, Chili, Cream Please, Highlight.

*Color Story 5* Frozen earth (cool tone browns)

Icy Frap, Iced Coffee, Dark as My Soul, Marshmallow, Halo.

And that's that for Imbolc! Holy crap, that took ages! The pictured do not do these shadows justice. One day I'll have a phone with a properly functioning camera...

Well, Glamour Ghouls (you can boo me, it's fine), it's your turn to shop your stash and get those creative juices flowing! Is there anything in your collection that you'd grab for Imbolc? Sound off in the comments and let's inspire each other!”

#Makeup for Magick/Ritual #imbolc #are all mods power tripping assholes?#or just the one i had to deal with?#travel witchcraft #sabbats #broom closet #witchcraft #magick #rituals

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makeste · 5 years

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BnHA Chapter 244: Have You Read This Book

Previously on BnHA: Deku visited his mom on New Year’s Eve and was all “here’s a new letter from my ever-expanding fanclub of adorable preschoolers whom I saved from trauma” and Inko was all, “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU IZUKU I FEEL LIKE I DON’T HAVE TO PROTECT YOU ANYMORE” because she doesn’t watch the news at all or keep track of ominous plot developments I guess. The next morning, a.k.a. New Year’s Fucking Day, while other kids their age visited shrines or sat at home watching TV, Izuku, Shouto, and Katsuki were bussed off to go be child soldiers at Endeavor’s hero agency. Katsuki was all “HEY ENDEAVOR YOU’RE KIND OF A DICK,” and Endeavor was all “SHOUTO IS THIS VULGAR AND PUGNACIOUS YOUTH REALLY YOUR FRIEND” and Shouto was all “TOO LATE DAD, YOU SAID!!” and Endeavor hmmphed and booked it out of there and the kids all followed him and there was this old dude with a beard floating around screaming about END TIMES!! and Hawks was there and, what?? Seriously does anyone actually know what’s going on?

Today on BnHA: Endeavor chases down the old man (who may in fact be an actual prophet, though? Horikoshi what games are you playing) and sets him on fire and tackles him and it’s all very violent. Hawks then appears out of nowhere and breaks up BakuDeku’s tag team effort all “SAVE IT FOR THE MOVIE YOU TWO!” and is then all “hi Shouto” and “hi, you must be Midoriya, Tokoyami told me all about you, I wanted to work with you too, BUT -- [stares off angstily into the distance].” Then, because I forgot that Hawks never shuts up, he’s all, “Hey Endeavor have you ever heard of this book, ‘Paranormal Liberation Front’? Don’t let the really dumb-sounding title put you off, it’s actually a rousing tale full of hidden clues about all the bullshit I’m actually up to. I highlighted the relevant portions if you can’t be assed to read it, well anyways, Hail Hydra.” “Well that was a strange conversation,” Endeavor thinks to himself as he stares uncomprehendingly into the void. Sob someone please help them why are they so bad at this oh god.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

so thanks to that little stunt Horikoshi pulled two weeks ago, our chances of finding out Bakugou’s hero name any time within the next dozen chapters are slimmer than ever. probably he’ll reveal it at the end of the arc instead. it’s like he doesn’t even care about the databook. whatever I’ll have plenty of time to sulk more about it after I get to readin’

anyway the title of the new chapter is “Recommendation”, so... actually that does sound fairly promising, though? am I just eternally doomed to get my hopes up? is this referring to Shouto pestering his dad to take on his two best friends as fellow interns? what’s going on here

anyway so we’re opening with this

I love that it’s the two supposed goody-two-shoes kids who are actually being vocal about blatantly disregarding Endeavor’s orders. Shouto is just not having it to begin with, whereas Deku at least is trying to rationalize his own reckless behavior. Katsuki meanwhile is too focused on doing this fancy kick move to switch his suitcase from his left hand to his right to bother talking right now. reminds me of him playing with the soccer ball as a youngling

also the fact that his case is number 17 and Deku’s is number 18. have I talked about this before? I think I have but it was with some other numbered thing. anyways love the symbolism of him trying to stay one step ahead of him and Deku always being right on his heels. or maybe I’m reading too much into it but anyways rivals, yay

damn Endeavor is really determined to get ahead of them though

uh oh Horikoshi how much action did you pack into this chapter. starting to run out of time to finish all your panels again huh. you had a whole extra week! how fucking insane is this arc going to be holy shit

anyways Endeavor way to leave your brand new interns behind minutes after meeting them for the first time smdh. this is exactly how it went down with Hawks and Tokoyami

okay so like, I know a flash fire is an actual thing, but for a second I started wondering if in this kind of context (with him speeding off), it might also be a reference to the DC hero. then I remembered that the name of Endeavor’s technique is different in Japanese and the pun probably doesn’t translate. ah well

anyways dude is fast. but I wouldn’t count the kids out yet, they’re all pretty fast too!

so now we’re back downtown with Old Man Doom And Gloom, and oddly enough it seems that this isn’t actually an out-of-the-ordinary occurrence?

fucking quirk society. you guys are just so desensitized to the most bizarre fucking things. but I guess we in the 21st century are hardly ones to talk ourselves sigh

anyway now he’s being a bit more extra than usual and they’re starting to worry

?? the fuck is that? that sure as hell isn’t Hawks or Endeavor lmao. IF IT’S SLIDIN’ GO I SWEAR TO GOD

or wait, is it still the old man talking? should I actually be paying attention to his ramblings, my bad

is that a fucking Spirit Bomb

(ETA: in truth this is the most badass attack name that has ever existed or will ever exist and I should give it its proper due actually.)

so now I guess he’s hurtling it at them??

...hold up one sec

“revelations from the universe, I have received. flee, flee good citizens. the Dark Lord’s lips curl into a wicked crescent” -- holy shit, this all tracks?? IS THIS DOOMSDAY CRACKPOT MOTHERFUCKER ACTUALLY RIGHT ON THE FUCKING MONEY HOLY SHIT. ARE YOU A WITCH GOOD SIR. DID YOU WRITE A BOOK OF HIGHLY ACCURATE AND DEVASTATINGLY WITTY PROPHECIES BY ANY CHANCE

“the end is nigh! the wicked stars are conspiring against us! we must stop them! the earth is on the verge of being engulfed by darkness! flee, my fellow citizens! I am the one who shall destroy this source of darkness! be revealed! servants of the dark lord, come forth!”

okay listen. if he’s aiming this fucking thing at Hawks, though, after a speech like that? fuck it, I’m a believer. I’m sorry old man, I wrote you off without a second thought and here you are being the only one who’s actually like “HELLO!!!? PEOPLE!!!? THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS!!?! THEY HAVE AN ARMY!!? AND NOUMUS!??! FUUUUUUUUCK”

and I don’t know where you’re getting your information, but those are some legit-ass universe revelations. fucking even talks about the “Dark Lord” specifically only describing his lips. because he doesn’t have anything else to describe nowadays, face-wise. shit that is spooky

anyway so that sure was unexpected. let’s see what shenanigans Master Roshi here is gonna get himself into next

did my boy just get fucking flashfired. jesus Endeavor show some fucking mercy

...

someone want to explain to this man the concept of a proportionate response? anyone? ...

fucking Todorokis I swear to god. if they weren’t all so good at being amazing superheroes, they could easily fall back on a career of being dramatic bitches for hire instead

anyways when did Endeavor change his clothes. this dude was wearing a turtleneck and slacks thirty seconds ago. did he literally just burn them off. how. what. fucking plot holes left and right

lol imagine if like on the next page the interns finally catch up and they’re like holding his fucking jacket and looking peeved

-- holy fucking shit, Endeavor

not cool, dude!! what the fuck. this isn’t a fucking Noumu for fuck’s sake THAT IS A HUMAN PERSON

(ETA: I guess he ended up being okay, but shit, for a moment it looked like we were going full blown Raiders of the Lost Ark over here. anyways the moral of this story is that Endeavor is terrifying, fuck.)

so now of course Nostradamus is trying to get the fuck out of there, because if he sticks around Endeavor apparently has no qualms about burning him alive. fuck me Endeavor, I’m still rooting for your redemption arc my dude, but tbh if Dabi happens to pop up out of nowhere here looking for some revenge I’m not gonna say no to it right now. quit burning people alive!!

so now 12/21/2012 is zooming down an alley and Endeavor is zooming after him and telling some extra with a sword to stay and lead the evacuation

oh??

Endeavor have you flown yourself right into a trap?

oh my god what the fuck is this

it’s like Dabi VS the Liberation Army all over again. fucking check all these motherfuckers who apparently want to get themselves deep fried. this one guy really thinks he’s going to clock the Number One with a piece of fucking PVC pipe

LMAOOOOO

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES A RUCKUS, BOYS! you better believe I have the Powerpuff Girls theme song playing in my head right now

-- !!!

HAWKS!! I WAS STARTING TO WONDER IF YOU REALLY WERE THERE TOO OR IF THE PANELS IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER WERE DELIBERATELY MISLEADING

LOOOOOOL

pour one out for these poor sobs who somehow got themselves caught up in an accidental pincer attack between the dynamic fucking duo and fucking Angry Bird here. where the fuck is Shouto btw. or is he the one that got stuck carrying Endeavor’s jacket

loool look at Hawks out here making friends

SURPRISE BITCH

oh my god though you guys look at this??

HELLO SURPRISE NEW FAVORITE SERIES OF PANELS, CAN I JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO LOVE ON YOU A BIT HERE, BECAUSE

1. Bakugou and Deku IN PERFECT SYNC, not even thinking about it. just effortless. that was an amazing tag team thing you guys had going on before SOMEONE stepped in and ruined it all omg. do you want me to talk to Hawks for you. I’ve been meaning to discuss some other things with him anyway so it’s not like it’d be going out of my way. can you believe this fucking pigeon blocked my number. WHERE IS JEANIST YOU BASTARD

anyways 2. “I thought Endeavor might have been in a tough spot” that’s a funny way of saying “I was lonely and missed my angry arson dad”! and fucking look at this ridiculous bantering between them. “did it look like I was in a tough spot?” I FUCKING CAN’T YOU GUYS PLEASE STOP

and 3. Shouto just watching. is he impressed by his dad? or just trying to figure out whether Hawks is his dad’s adopted son or boyfriend. I’m pretty sure it’s the former, Shouto, but I don’t blame you for being confused, Hawks just has that kind of energy with everyone

oh my god

somebody arrest this man. I can’t fucking deal with your cheeky fucking face Hawks

is Skeptic getting all of this?? are they sitting there with bowls of popcorn back at the League of Pliff HQ trying to figure out whether Endeavor and Hawks are dating

...and shit, I just realized the League officially knows now that the disaster trio is interning with the number one. so that’s fucking great. not that it would have been a secret for long, but still, things are officially starting to get real. in hindsight, after the Kamino arc we had a nice long stretch of chapters in which Deku, Kacchan, and Shouto were not in immediate danger from the main fucking villains, so that was nice while it lasted I guess. those days will soon be behind us

ahhhklkljkl

fucking shit Hawks could you be any more ominous. oh my god this arc really is going to kill me

so now we’re cutting away to somewhere. Pliff?

-- oh, nope, still in the same place, we just fast-forwarded to the part where the police came to haul all the bad guys away

and now the manga is being all clever and foreshadowing-y and would you look at this

BUT IS HE TALKING ABOUT ENDEAVOR, OR HAWKS omg. or hell, he could even be talking about Deku. or AFO even though he’s not actually there. point is, you know he’s not actually wrong. but what is he actually trying to tell us ahhhhhh Servant of the Stars please reveal your secrets

(ETA: in all seriousness you guys, I’m fully down for counting this as a prophecy. it’s already canon that future-seeing quirks are a thing, so. the only problem is that this is some Game of Thrones-level ambiguity as far as who he’s actually talking about. it seriously could be anyone. anyways at least we’ve got some shiny new theory material to play around with here so that’s nice.)

LMAO

HAWKS YOU BASTARD, JUST LIKE THAT I’VE FORGIVEN YOU FOR THE FUCKING JEANOCIDE

how does every single person Deku meets not greet him this way?? I sure as hell would. “well if it isn’t the kid who just. fuckin blew up his own hands on live television, multiple times. salutations”

anyways where’s Katsuki, the boy whose previous hero mentor you murdered in cold blood but he doesn’t actually know that yet. when are we gonna start in on that?

Hawks says he’s heard about Deku from Tokoyami. and he even says he would have liked to work with Deku too, wow. that’s high praise

ffffff here it comes, THAT GOOD HAWKS ANGST. WE WERE WAITING FOR THIS BUT IT’S STILL BRUTAL GAH

is this entire arc just going to consist of Hawks saying cryptic things with double meanings known only to him and then glancing sideways at the camera all broodingly omg

AH, THERE HE IS

Katsuki’s natural instinct to dislike 100% of newcomers on sight might work out to his advantage here. Hawks’s maxed-out Charisma stats VS Katsuki’s middling Perception stats which nonetheless have a tendency to land high whenever he performs an ability check! I might need to back off from this metaphor though before it becomes really obvious that I don’t actually play D&D

lol

omg Endeavor can’t a guy just drop in on his grumpy pal out of the blue to make sure he’s doing okay without having some sort of ulterior motive? why are you so sure that Hawks showing up means that plot must be happening. because you’re not wrong, is the thing. but he’s probably just being standoffish for show

holy shit and now Hawks is just pulling out the Liberation Army’s book just like that?? IS HE ALLOWED TO DO THAT

(ETA: “let’s see, what’s a subtle way I can try and clue Endeavor in on the fact that I’ve become an undercover agent in the Paranormal Villain League of Liberation Front Armies. ... ...shit I’m not good at this.”)

and since when was this book called “Paranormal Liberation Front”?? did they change the title to match the new name?

and what’s Hawks’s game here, though? is he going to play it as though he’s secretly investigating Pliff? you know, like he actually is doing? is this some kind of hiding in plain sight thing or what

guys. is Hawks just... actually really bad at being a secret agent. omg

so he’s all “DESTRO’S IDEALS ARE EVERYTHING WE COULD ASK FOR” and lol what. fucking look at Endeavor’s face though

this motherfucker could use a boost of his own wisdom stats, fff

(ETA: swear to god he’s two seconds away from a Katsuki-style “hah?!”)

oh my god

fucking fuck me. he better have highlighted a really obvious section of that book, because otherwise I’m not gonna hold out hope for this message getting across at all. at least we know what that “recommendation” title was referring to now I guess

(ETA: Endeavor: [reading the highlighted section backwards] “‘‘it’s fun to smoke marijuana’!? what in the --”)

loooool

the fate of the world now rests upon Endeavor’s abilities to See Underneath The Underneath and somehow decipher that when Hawks says, “ENDEAVOR I CHASED YOU DOWN IN ORDER TO GIVE YOU A COPY OF THIS BOOK THE VILLAINS WROTE, I THINK IT’S REALLY KEEN AND YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT”, what he’s really saying is, “ENDEAVOR I NEED YOU TO INVESTIGATE THIS SUSPICIOUS ‘LIBERATION FRONT’ THAT’S BEEN COINCIDENTALLY GATHERING A LOT OF ATTENTION SINCE THAT SHADY INCIDENT IN DEIKA CITY WHERE ‘TWENTY GUYS' BASICALLY DESTROYED AN ENTIRE TOWN. IF YOU’RE TOO DENSE TO PICK UP ON ANY OF THAT, I HIGHLIGHTED THE RELEVANT PORTION OF THE BOOK SO HOPEFULLY EVEN AN OBLIVIOUS DUMBBELL LIKE YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT.” jesus christ

at least Endeavor now has some nerdy interns who fucking love to read. hell, Deku has probably already read the book. please help this dumb jock to understand his bird son’s coded message, Deku-Wan Kenobi, you’re our only hope

and that’s the end of the chapter! except that I heard there was a new poster for Heroes Rising that was released as well! how come it wasn’t included here now I have to go hunt it down

son of a bitch is this really the best quality that’s available? damn

well all right. not really much going on here that’s a big revelation or anything, aside from the surprise inclusion of Hawks in the upper right hand corner. did we know he was going to be in this? and like, even if the anime does make it as far as his debut in season 4, will it have reached that point by the time the movie premieres in December? glad I caught up beforehand if they’re gonna start spoiling things like this

so that’s all she wrote for this week! databook is due out next week so that should be fun! we’re finally going to get Hawks’s real name from what I understand. so I can start yelling at him using his full name like a disappointed mom. I have a feeling that’s going to come in handy a lot during this arc. go to your room young man

(ETA: and just watch it be the Japanese equivalent of “Judas McMurder” or some shit. smh. y’all. we stan a shady bitch.)

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dxxtruction · 4 years

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eps2.5h4ndshake.sme

Mr Robot: Season 2 episode 7

Episode and character analysis

This episode is about connecting but also about deceiving.

—

Joanna

—

The episode starts with a flashback, constructed to not look like one at first (I think this mirrors the bigger reveal at the end up the episode “things aren’t as they appear”).

Joanna looks to have brought in a Sephora bag with her (idk what other places use that stripe design on bags) and a gift has been left on the counter which contain earrings, she can be seen wearing once we jump to the present (She keeps part of Tyrell around, the things he was able to provide her with. The gift giving between them is they’re like way of showing affection. This can’t happen in the same way between her and her new lover, but she’s also willing to commit to him (for now). She even gives him a gift for his birthday to show that.) (Birthdays come up like twice in this episode and I’m not sure why but it means they’re cancers.)

This whole scene is very WHITE, even Tyrell is wearing a bright suit, and everyone at the work party is as well wears white/light gray. White is fairly symbolic of the upper class for several historical reasons, it could also represent a purer time within their relationship. Yet another thought I had goes to the rule about Labor Day, the history of which stems from creating inner class divisions between old and new money. The “rules” which determine being an insider or not. Contextually I think this makes some sense, it could even be a Labor Day event (Joanna getting back from Labor Day shopping at Sephora?). At the party The Wellick’s and the Knowles’ talk with Price who mentions Tyrell’s climbing of positions towards CTO. Him (and Joanna) becoming more a part of the “exclusivity” being introduced through Price to others within his circle like Knowles. (It’s their sort of “handshake” if you will.)

Outside the flashback, present. An old woman comes up to Joanna and spills blood (I imagine pigs blood) on her and runs away. (Definitely a Carrie reference)

“Capitalist pig!”

All the purity of the white she wears stained, her relationship with Tyrell stained, all the things she once had dreamed of having stained, because of blood (Sharon Knowles), and now there is literal blood on her as well. (Also the title card is so good)

—

Joanna is in her home, drinking wine, staring with a mixed emotion down at a photo of an ultrasound. She’s still getting these gifts from “Tyrell”, she has intentions on finding him despite finding herself tied to her new lover (She’ll later say out of all the gifts the ultrasound made her the wettest). (Through Joanna we’re led to believe Tyrell is alive (and he is but she’s not getting presents from him), but Robot says he died because they killed him so it’s a huge whats what. (Elliot doesn’t know about stage 2 or Tyrell being involved and Robot wants to keep it this way.) At the moment we ask if we believe Robot or the presents from Joanna? Turns out neither are entirely truthful. This all becomes answered in the 2 part finale. (This season deals a lot with deception, illusions, and lying.)

—

Joanna is in bed with her lover, she seems to be reenacting the Sharon Knowles choking fantasy (yikes). Derek (I keep not saying his name but it’s Derek.), wants to invite Joanna to his 30th birthday party and Joanna says she can’t come. If she doesn’t come, Derek says she’ll break up with her. Joanna seems taken about this. I think she does enjoy Derek, but I don’t think she enjoys the conditions of this relationship. She knows she’s a potential target so can’t risk going public with this relationship.

—

Joanna doesn’t show up to the party but is at his home waiting for him. It’s revealed here Joanna met Derek at the e-corp party (a nice parallel between Joanna and Tyrell during that party. One walked out with a relationship and the other walked out well… you know.). She’s filing for divorce and this is her “handshake” with him. (This later leads to her demise)

Beaten and Bruised

—

(Rami’s acting (THE BREATHING) in this scene gets me)

Robot props up Elliot and they then do more of a hold hands than a shake. Connection is seemingly being authorized at long last. He talks about handshakes; Initialized connections between two points of access. (Tech lingo.)

He says this to us:

“Hello. I see you, I recognize you, I acknowledge your existence. Let’s talk. Get to know who each other really are. All of this said with the simple act of a handshake between two people.”

He then goes on and says he “Doesn’t know how to follow the rules.”

What he’s about to say to Robot may breaks the rules of this new connection they now seem to have (Robot going that extra mile to protect Elliot from the beating)(Elliot then accepting that Robot is able to help him and they don’t have to fight).

What he mentions is Tyrell, and Robot is agitated that Elliot is hung up on him, but an agreement gets made through negotiation that gets Robot to finally say something in order to fill in those gaps of memory he doesn’t have. (So connection has been made, but it’s gonna be a false trust.)

“P-Popcorn” is the last thing Elliot remembers. (Popcorn is one of those repeated items in the show that connect back to moments in Elliot’s past. It may be a stretch but I think popcorn symbolizes the pretense of dying, given where we see it. It’s a weird irony of having death lie below the surface of whats usually seen as something fun or delightful.)

—

While talking Robot is lying to Elliot that they killed Tyrell (This would simultaneously be making that phone call they had unreal to Elliot’s mind, another part of the illusion. This will later make him think Tyrell IRL is not real). My best guess as to why Robot kept all of this is he figures that Elliot would NOT want what stage two is to happen, and it most definitely needs to happen or Dark Army would be pissed = bad new for them. Robot is once again playing the long game with Elliot to get him to fall for something. This conflict will continue to build, so yes this is the opposite of a handshake happening here, “Rules” broken. However he tells part of the truth about that night up until the point of “shooting” him, probably because Elliots picking up on bits and pieces of it and saying things that didn’t happen would break the fact Robot is lying to him. (He also isn’t looking to fight him because they’re finally working together and Robot’s been wanting that.) (Should read that Elliot is finally starting to trust Robot because of this btw. Like a relationship of trust appears to have been formed here, a perfect handshake. But who’s betraying trust now?)(My other guess is that Robot just wants to see out his plans alone W/O Elliot getting in the way)

—

Elliot gets moved back to Ray’s office. He’ll need a few hours to “move the site.” He’s planning on exposing Ray site, opening it up for more than just TOR traffic, opening it up to the public, in the next scene we see the traffic on the site is booming. To make things easier, he also emailed the FBI an anonymous tip. (Rays move was to let Elliot live and let him turn him in.)

Elliot negotiates a game with Ray and he confesses he never actually knew what was on his site, but Elliot made him look. (Not sure what exactly about Elliot compelled him but Ray talks about Elliot highly because of it.) (Rays sorta a toss at the end (?), morally ambiguous. He never actually knew what was on his site but he’s definitely not oblivious. He ultimately decides he should pay for his crimes. Elliots conversations previous seem to indicate confusion on Ray being a good or bad person, I think the guy sort of did enable all that shit to happen so like nah.)(He was also using Elliot for what he wanted out of him, this seems to be a repeated thing with Elliot and various ppl.)(Seeing him for what he can do for them instead of him as his own person.)(Characters like Darlene or Leon (who live) do seem to see Elliot for who he is.)

“You are my answer. It’s not the other way around. So thank you.”

Elliot quotes: “When you see a good move, look for a better one.” -Emanuel Lasker (World champion chess champion) (Elliot knows a lot of chess factoids) (What’s Elliots good move and what’s his better move?)

“Mr.Robot was a part of me that I created because of my pain. So now we have a chance to start again. Our handshake negotiated us as partners.” (Just a good line)

—

Elliot and Leon talk on the court, Leon mentions that Elliot has to watch out for people. The white guys show up to mess with Elliot but Leon does’t budge when asked. They had stock in Ray’s site and want payback. They definitely don’t feel like starting anything with Leon around.

“Just remember cuz, your sitting under the sword of Damocles.” - the imminent and ever-present peril faced by those in positions of power. (Leons word choice is always very nice)

—

There’s been some time since the last scene, Elliots wounds are better. We are in Church group the leader reads from Dueteronomy 12:29 - “When the Lord thy God shall cut off the nations from before thee, whither thou goest to possess them, and thou succeedest them, and dwellest in their land;”

I’m not gonna say I’m a bible expert by any means but it’s a big metaphor for “curiosity killed the cat”, to guard oneself against sinful curiosity and thereby betraying god by falling for errors in judgment; or else. Seems befitting enough to Elliots situation. (“Curiosity killed the cat”, Both in prison when his itch gets scratched with Ray landing him in a bunch of painful situations and at the end of the season when his curiosity towards Robot’s possible plotting leads him towards Tyrell who eventually has to shoots him.(thing is these were just curiosities)) (I can see this being VERY relatable to WR. She wants the Congo, and its her errors in judgement that make for her undoing.(These are more sinful))

—

There’s conversation then had between her and him about being fearful and vigilant as good, because it means gods present with him (IDK church stuff). The church lady thinks he speaks to Jesus/God, “If you let Jesus into your heart he’ll always listen.” (Jesus can be read as a prophet, Robot calls himself Elliot’s prophet), Elliot ends up speaking to Robot.

This is a continuation of this thing between them, “I was supposed to be your prophet, but you were supposed to be my god!” (Robot; season 1 episode 10), but also "Mr. Robot has become my god, and like all gods, their madness takes you prisoner." (Elliot; season 2 episode 3).

(It would take longer than an single episode analysis to unpack the religious themes in this show but I’ll say a few things.) The show is seeped with these religious themes everywhere, I’m still piecing sense together about it. It’s probably some way of saying the forces of life are mysterious at times, we can’t always understand them and yet they carry an amount of power over you. And that Powerful people are like gods. Gods are about to create things but they’re also able to destroy. They may guide you and they may also control you. God may be symbolic of power itself. Deciding who are the gods and masters and who are the men? Whoever has control over the world is he god? Should anyone be allowed to be?

Elliot doesn’t believe in god but Mr.Robot he can talk to and needs to talk to. He needs to know what it all means to work together as partners. Elliot has decided that they need to continue with their work, yet doesn’t know if he like’s what robot has to offer about it. Robot tells him Elliot is actually a leader, that he led the entire world into a revolution. Robot says he follows him simply because he does lead.

“I don’t want to be a leader.” (Probably has some preconceived notions on leaders being terrible people, but also might not feel he’d make a good leader given who he is)

Robot says to get anything done with E-corp it’s gotta have to happen like that.

This conversation between them seems like more metaphor to me, Elliot must sacrifice what he wants (not to be a leader) in order to move things forward to change the world and Jesus had to make a similar decision on sacrifice. (Whats weird about this scene though is how nothing seems to play out of it, after Elliot gets out he’s more of less on Ecorp’s side in order to prevent destruction. And wondering if Robot is even saying anything of truth here or if he’s simply further deceiving Elliot this whole time that they can work together on finishing things.)

—

Book burning: Elliot burns his journal because he doesn’t have any use for it anymore. Hot Carla and him stand and watch over it while he smokes a cigarette. (In RedWheelbarrow Carla has taken this apparently during some kind of riot. I think it’s this riot that lets the next thing happen without any guards coming by)

Attack: The racist white guys make their move on Elliot. They (the main guy) say they’re gonna “fix that courage problem of yours”. Robot takes all the punches for Elliot (King). (TW) They’re definitely taking off Elliot’s belt when they turn him around (fuccck)(TY Leon). Leon does his blade action and saves Elliot then we get the reveal.

“Gonna get a letter on Tuesday, do what it says.”

*stabs a guy in the ass*

“Hey yo man, when you see Whiterose. Make sure you say I did you good.”

*yanks his knife out of said mans ass*

“I’ll be rooting for you cuz, Always.”

Elliot’s in shock (who wouldn’t be?) (This establishes a lot between Elliot and Leon, I think it forms a true trust, but its one met with uncertainty)(This can be paralleled with Robot’s in a way, forming a false trust met with more certainty.)(…Don’t read much into what I say lol.) (It’s nice that ultimately both these connections do end up sticking around.)

—

Krista reads over Elliots release notice. (Tuesday I assume)

“But you were right, you can’t destroy a part of yourself.”

Elliot’s mentioning his “reality” the construction of prison as his moms place (perhaps little on the nose on how it was in the real house). Krista makes sure he hasn’t actually fallen into believing the delusions and we finally get the reveal that this is a prison (Honestly how did I not pick up on this sooner in the first watch?).

“Sometimes control can be an illusion, but sometimes you need an illusion to gain control. Fantasy is an easy way to give meaning to the world. To cloak our harsh reality in escapist comfort. After all isn’t that why we surround ourselves with so many screens? So we can avoid seeing?” (This line plays into a lot of things besides Elliot’s illusion. You could relate Price’s negotiations with the government to “make people believe” to this. You could relate Ray to this. You can relate Angela’s persona of professionalism to this. Whiterose’s machine gets references as a fantasy or something along those lines. You could relate Religion into this. All of them put on “masks”, or make others put on the masks, some avoid seeing and others think they see but they don’t. Ultimately every single one is trying to cope and grapple with life. And wearing them makes it possible to fight for the control they want (or are forced to want…))(I love the way this show messes with perception)

Angela / FBI / internal work

Dom tries to get something out of Angela about why she was on the FBI floor. Angela tells her about her Lunch plans. Dom (still pushing) expresses her curiosity about her job history, then mentions needing a statement from her before leaving. (She seems to be trying to fish for a reaction.)

Angela doesn’t react much, but she seems to falter towards the end, Dom says “Whatever this is? It isn’t like you,” and leaves.

Angela then completes connection to the wifi. They now own the FBI.

As part of this all security footage data is is corrupted on E-corps security cameras, a total wipe. Dom is present on the scene and suggests looking at Angela Moss’s computer. It’s the 3rd of July. (This Op later proves to be fairly pointless on FSociety’s end of things. The real ones who gain anything from this are DA.)(and because people keep perceiving that they have any control over what happens things end up worse.)

—

Angela is in a taxi on her way back home the night of the pwn. The TV in the Cab tells us how things are escalating, we get hints of switching over to e-coin, and suggestions that more services are beginning to stop.

Angela sees Darlene waiting outside the building. Angela hasn’t picked up any of Darlene’s messages or calls which is why she’s there (Angela’s pissed after finding out about Cisco).

We get what Angela has been piecing together throughout this entire time, she sorta knew at the beginning but also didn’t want to admit her friends would do something like this. She understands they’re hackers and could do something like this, but wasn’t able to admit 5/9 was them up until a certain point. Cisco certainly confirmed any unresolved ideas.

“You guys always thought that you were smarter than me. But come on. You never actually hid it that well. Every halloween, when we were kids. You guys made me watch that shitty scary movie. It was so bad.” (This line makes me think the Aldersiblings have always kept things from Angela, and have always kept her out of their more criminal hobbies, but for good reasons. That the siblings grew into very different tastes than Angela so she ended up an outsider of sorts. This jab towards the siblings seems to continue Angela’s story line of feeling under appreciated.)

—

Angela mets with her dad, who works at Walmart. He’s restocking FIVE/NINE emergency kits. Which he mentions are flying off the shelfs after the attack on Washington. (This episode does a lot of alluding to whats going on outside the main plot, forming a connection we previously weren’t getting much of)

Things get tense, this is the point where there relationship breaks. Angela betrays her mom by doing what she’s doing, but also her dad. We don’t ever see him again I’m pretty sure. There’s also an obvious class divide between them, we see just how polarized they’ve become. Somehow Angela is still convinced that what she’s doing will fix things (perceiving more control than she thinks she has).

—

Price meets with Angela.

“You protecting some evil secret agenda?”

(“Don’t we all protect our evil secrets agendas?”)

Angela wants to be moved to a manager position in risk management. (In order to change things from within).

Price confesses that it is his birthday, this is a secret from everyone but he shares with her and invites her to celebrate but she refuses. He’s definitely trying to build some type of relationship to her, since he’s her real dad and all. To Price finalizing the deal how WR needed it to be means Angela is no longer in immediate danger so maybe he’s more relaxed about opening up to her. I think one of Angela’s coworkers said this but it must seem strange to everyone else in the office there relationship, I think Angela finds it strange as well. Angela is an anomaly, caught in so many webs, and even WR sees it.

—

Angela’s first day in risk management, the man, who’s a director in risk management, showing her around. He mentions Flint,MI (who STILL doesn’t have clean water) as a thing they’re currently looking into. He apparently knew Gideon, worked with him a couple times. Angela’s hyper professionalism is super off, and its because literally every other person makes small talk and is fairly casual but her. I think it’s her way of commanding respect, something she wants is to feel respected. Angela doesn’t falter around, the problem is this persona of hers starts to carry on to her other relationships, it consumes her. (I just think to when she shuts Elliot away with her office professionalism in the episode where the buildings blow up.. 3.5?)

—

In Angela’s meeting Susan Jacobs (the executioner, f-society is using her house as HQ) is mentioned to be taking vacation days. (Hint dropped that she may be stopping by her house.)

A lot of legal settlement lingo is just thrown around everywhere (making us feel intimidated but also showing how Angela may find herself lost in this environment). Angela tries to get a shoe in on the conversation by suggesting to put together a summary, but obviously this wasn’t gonna work. Price told the head of risk management to treat Angela “however you want” and this guy finds Angela to be a suspicious case.

—-

F Society -

The gang are all over Mobley’s laptop (top secret call happening on OpBerenstain)(It reads that this should be the same day as the hack when Darlene comes in, which happened on the 3rd.)

(The show sort of hints that this next bit is whats on Mobley’s screen previous, but the dates don’t line up. “Tomorrow” isn’t the seventh.) The House of Representatives. (7/7/15) at 2:07 pm ET #droptheballs happens. Kinda a legendary move that just says “suck on these” to the government. However this scares some people into thinking the worlds ending (hence E corp selling out of emergency kits and needing the restock. Capitalism <3s to sell us our panic it created in the first place.) (and when we buy into that aren’t we buying into its fantasy?)

#h4ndshake.sme #mr robot #I'm not gonna bother tagging everyone who appears in this episode.#Also this is being posted out of order cause i'm still working on episode 6 #these are for fun so like dont take any of my takes seriously

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shieldslinger-a · 4 years

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give me your side of stevetony too thank you

Who asks the other on dates: both. they’re both grossly romantic people and have a tendency to want to indulge and show that to each other by taking the time to do things they know the other likes. now granted--these dates are unfortunately few and far between, because both of them are horribly busy and tend to put work first. but, you know, if after a mission they end up staying an extra few hours in england or france or italy-- Who is the bigger cuddler: tony. lbr it’s always tony. they both have a huge thing about touch, i mean they’re constantly rubbing shoulders or reaching a hand out to touch each other, but the second--and i mean the second--steve’s lap is available tony is there, like a little lap sniper, just claiming the empty space with his feet or his head or his whole body. like if steve’s lap is empty, tony is just not in the area, must be out of town, not in the state not in the country, because otherwise tony is there, right there in steve’s space. and honestly steve loves it, he likes idly playing with tony’s hair and giving absentminded back rubs Who initiates holding hands more often: steve. i’ll go in on this more later but holding hands is the best thing for steve because it’s intimate but it’s not... like, he’s comfortable doing it. and it’s natural and it feels good, and it’s not glaringly in your face kind of affection. so it means he gets to do this one little thing that was super unheard of in his day and age (two men holding hands) and it’s not a lot, but he doesn’t take it for granted at all, and it feels good to be able to hold tony’s hand casually when they’re out and about, just being normal people, or when they’re in meetings, just reaching over to hold tony’s hand under the table, or just holding hands at a party, nothing claiming, nothing extravagant, just a pleasant bit of touch tethering him to tony

Who remembers anniversaries: tony. ok look, the only reason this is tony and not a neither is because tony has friday, which is kind of cheating tbh, because friday is not tony or steve. but, friday wants her dumb, very-much-in-love dad to be very successful in his relationship, so she reminds him frequently about the anniversaries and special occasions. thing is tho--still doesn’t mean steve shows up because he remembers. again, just because he knows its his anniversary doesn’t mean he’s gonna show because that means he has to stop what he’s doing (fighting baddies, most likely) and hurry on home, and 9/10 he’s gonna get waylaid or distracted or shoved into a universe for the next 12 years. Who is more possessive: steve. it’s not your typical kind of possessive, it’s not like he’s obsessive in it, he’s just... tony’s his person, right? arguably, tony’s been his person since almost day one, and there’s just... steve feels his most normal and most valued as steve when he’s with tony. he likes the way tony makes him feel, likes the way tony looks at him and just wants to feel that good all the time. and it’s not like he wants tony to only spend time with him ever but... like tony can spend time with anyone and he should!! he should have more friends, steve isn’t going to begrudge him that at all. just so long as tony loves him bestest. and comes home to him. and seeks his comfort and advice first on the important stuff, not someone else’s. because to steve, that’s intimacy--sharing thoughts and feelings and dreams and nightmares, with one person who is his Person. and like yeah, again, he should have friends he talks to and relies on, it’s not that steve wants tony all to himself, he just wants to be first. which, if he was less oblivious, he’d realize that he’s pretty much always first, but he wants to feel like the most important thing to tony (next to superhero-ing, they both know this, they both know that being the hero and saving lives is first, is #1, is the most important thing they’ll ever do with their lives) and get all those good tony thoughts first. everyone else just has to wait to be second Who gets more jealous: steve. arguably the whole blowup over the whole illuminati is because steve rogers got really fucking jealous (and felt betrayed) that tony had friends that he trusted more than steve. steve absolutely gets jealous--not in the physical way, mind you, he doesn’t think tony’s going to cheat on him and have sex with someone else. but he’s intensely afraid that tony will lose interest in him and find someone else new and fascinating and want to spend all his time with that person. and he gets very jealous if he thinks that’s happening, because while he doesn’t think that tony would cheat--in any meaning of the word, physically or mentally--it’s a fear that he’ll... lose tony’s interest and he’ll look for someone else to be that challenging force in his life, the kind that makes him want to be and do better. he likes being tony’s person and likes being the one tony goes to with his thoughts and ideas--no matter how dumb or big or small or over his head they are. that’s just what you do with your person. you go to them with whatever’s on your mind so they can know you best, as well as they know themselves. and he so desperately wants to be that for tony and wants tony to be that for him Who is more protective: both. they’re the worst. the absolute worst. if one of them looks like they’re in trouble? the other one is right there, even if that’s like, the worst possible move. they’re that meme of one jumping in front of the other and then the other one bends over to protect them and then the other one bends and-- yeah they’re just the worst ok. like it’s even more terrible now that they’re in love and the last thing they want is to live in the world without each other. i mean, steve’s symbol is a fucking shield, for gods sake, he’s going to do his best to protect the people he loves because that’s just who he is as a person Who is more likely to cheat: neither. listen they’re both one-and-done people. they commit, 100%, to whoever they’re dating at the time, and honestly, it only gets worse when they’re dating each other. everyone thought they were already dating and/or married before, and now it’s just worse because now they’re making heart eyes at each other purposefully. like look, they just. they’re very dedicated people and now that steve’s found his person he’s settling hard and already thinking of happily ever after and it’s got tony solidly in the middle of that picture Who initiates sexy times the most: steve. it’s... complicated for steve. he loves tony, he does, that’s the foundation everything else is built on. but this is a very complicated relationship for him--it’s tony, who has been his best friend and anchor from day one, and a man, which is not in his usual wheelhouse of relationships. and it means he has to confront some things he’s internalized and repressed over the years, and it means he has to take it slow because he desperately doesn’t want to fuck this up. so it’s really at steve’s pace and he’s very very interested in exploring it all with tony, but he’s also very much in love and they’re intense so he wants to make sure they both have fun and are comfortable Who dislikes PDA the most: steve. it’s less that he doesn’t like PDA but more that he’s nervous of showing that affection, knowing that they’re nearly always under public scrutiny. he’s not really... 100% ready to be out to the world, because he knows what kind of support and lashback there will be, and he’s afraid that while he can handle it, with how fresh and fragile this new relationship is, he doesn’t want to burden it with press and interviews and tabloids. but at the same time, he wants to do right by tony and he doesn’t want him to think that steve’s ashamed of them, because he’s not?? he’s just afraid of what his knee-jerk reactions could be if he reads some of the more negative things and internalizes it, because he has a horrible tendency of doing that. so a lot of the PDA stuff goes at steve’s pace, and he pushes boundaries as he’s comfortable. at most, he tends to want to hold Tony’s hand in public, but otherwise it’s fairly chaste. however, it should be noted that around avengers tower, when there’s no one or not a lot of people around, they’re a lot more relaxed about it, and are frequently caught cuddling on the sofa, with maybe some light making out. it’s not that common to see them kissing though, as they’re (steve) actually pretty mindful of not wanting to be caught with their pants down. literally and metaphorically. the penthouse tho? you better be knockin. Who kills the spider: neither. there are spider people in this family that would object to the murder of their spider kin. also, maybe that spider is actually ant-man ok, or the wasp, it’s just too dangerous to try and smack small things, it’s just better to catch and release Who asks the the other to marry them: steve. he’s kind of already broached the subject? and like, when he asked, it was just a quick question, like a conversation normal couples have, because he knows that... like the deal breaker for a lot of his past relationships has been his inability to settle down. it’s not lack of commitment, steve’s a very dedicated partner, it’s always the fact that he’s fine with the status quo and very easily gets wrapped up in his job of being captain america. which is nothing new, btw, it’s always like this, it’s steve’s worst struggle in life, keeping steve rogers alive. but he’s learned from past relationships and he’s grown and he’s aware that marriage is a thing a lot of people--himself included--desire, and tony’s been engaged before so--yeah. he asked, if tony wanted to get married, tony freaked, and steve hasn’t figured out a way to ask gently again. on the one hand, it was probably a little early in the relationship to consider the question, so you know, he’s gonna give it a while, let them settle, get comfortable, be in love and be themselves. because the other half of it is--if they get married, it’s gotta be big and public. and that means they’re not really privately dating anymore, it’s all public and it’s all for people to meddle and mess in and he’s sure that people are gonna try to mess them up and--he doesn’t doubt tony, he doesn’t, but he’s selfish and he wants tony and this relationship for himself for as long as they can. marriage will come, eventually, and it won’t change a single thing between them, it’ll just mean they’re Official™ and out in the open. and steve, the romantic sap, will likely be the one to ask, on bended knee, with ring and all Who buys the other flowers or gifts: tony. it’s not that steve doesn’t do this at all--he does, actually! he usually comes home with some little trinket he saw while on a trip, or a bouquet of flowers, or he’ll knit a hat or scarf or sock (not socks, he’s too frequently interrupted to really complete more than like, 5 pairs), and when he’s really getting back into it, he’ll paint or draw something specifically for tony. it’s all little stuff and heartfelt stuff, but definitely in the range of normal. tony’s the extravagant one--new suits, new robots, new training rooms, new mansions, new teams, new planes--listen, if steve wanted it or even hinted at wanting it, tony is right there, ready to buy it or figure out how to make it. and also, if i’m honest? all the money in steve’s account is basically tony’s originally. steve... pretty much lives off the avengers stipend at this point, having cut ties with the government and shield, meaning he’s down to his paycheck for essentially being a full-time avenger. and you know, it’s not like he’s paying rent or utilities either, he doesn’t really have a lot of things he’s paying for himself, it’s just little ol’ steve on his pretty decent stipend and any little thing he finds that he might think tony would appreciate, he’s happy to spend his money on. but again--tony’s the big spender here. he’ll buy out restaurants just so he and steve can have a quiet night out for once, or rent an entire mansion in italy so they can have a nice retreat. really, i think now that steve’s dating tony and they’re in love, i think he feels a little better about tony spending money, because in his mind, it’s not just for him, but for them, and it’s a lot easier to swallow that price tag when he knows tony deserves the world Who would bring up possibly having kids: steve. he’s literally already done this. steve rogers is just painfully family driven. he loves kids. loves them. he loves to teach and to pass on what knowledge he has and he loves the future and seeing those kids grow and learn. and it really doesn’t matter if steve is the biological father or not? just any baby or kid in his general vicinity, the man locks on and makes a b-line for because he gotta hold the baby. so yeah, steve’s definitely the one to bring it up first, because there’s already a baby in their care without parents and he could be a parent, and he’s dating tony, and in his mind tony would be an even better parent than he would be, so yeah. they should take the ultra powerful starbrand baby, name her haley, and be a little super family, he thinks it’s a great idea Who is more nervous to meet the parents: neither. nervous? no. i mean if parents were alive there might be some nerves, but they’re dead on both sides. furious, however--listen. steve “i yelled at the all-father for being terrible to thor” rogers, don’t think that saves howard fucking stark from the same treatment. he’s got some opinions to share with howard, and they might be his fists and he might be very excited to use them. Who sleeps on the couch when the other is angry: neither. they both don’t sleep when they’re arguing. fighting with each other--which lbr, having sex and pillow talk definitely cuts down on the fighting and overall miscommunication and trust issues, but it’s not steve and tony if they never have fights ever. so when they fight, they both end up staying up late and they both throw themselves into their work, avoiding all the usual stomping grounds for as long as they can before they need sleep and can begin to really make up. Who tries to make up first after arguments: tony. listen neither of them are very good at communicating and both of them can get worked up and have tempers, which means 90% of the time when they argue it’s because one or both of them are hurt and don’t know how to effectively communicate it. the problem with that is--steve’s not good with feelings. his gut reaction tends to be anger, even when his real feeling is closer to something else (sadness, hurt, betrayal, etc). and he tends to avoid examining his emotions unless he’s prompted... which means he usually sits and simmers and stews until tony comes back to try to talk to him again. usually by that point, he’s calmed down enough (tho a steve rogers grudge is mighty) that he can listen to tony and not get riled again, and actually will attempt to express his feelings in a more reasonable manner. especially because there’s time for the steve rogers empathy to kick in, which means by this time there’s a good chance his guilt has made a home and had kids, which makes him just that much more amenable to compromise and apologies Who tells the other they love them more often: both. god they’re gross about it. the pda might be something they keep to a minimum, but the ‘i love you’s are pretty much constant. every time they see each other, every time they part, every time they think of each other (they think of each other a lot). i mean ‘i love you’ is practically as common as their shoulder touches--which now they get to do shoulder touches and i love yous at the same time, gee, aren’t they unbearable?

@shellheadtm | send me a ship and i’ll rant

#shellheadtm #general :: answers.#shellheadtm :: so deep in my heart that you're really a part of me.#verse :: main ( 616 ).#[ hey look what i finally finished ]#[ holy fucking SHIT this took forever ]#[ also this.... is a lot to take in ]#[ shoves this at u ]#[ it's urs now ]

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years

Text

athenas or the new ign videos... hmmm

im gonna go for the ign videos (moze gameplay and sanctuary-iii, no guns yet, i have a reason for that) because athenas hasn’t gotten its sweet instagram video yet. once that’s released i’ll do a full post on it. by the time i got around to finishing this post, they had released the video. oh boy... gonna do the gun post then the athenas post, i think. alright, off we go.

tl;dr: we read the entire end user agreement DAHL thrusts upon us for using the ECHO device, talk about some stuff like how (spoilers) it seems like Lilith will be getting her powers back at the end of the game, and a voice line Lily says that sounds like “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like Tannis said: [inaudible] Siren” (altho im not 100% sure on the [inaudible] part because 1) it sounds weird and 2) there’s a drum beat and also the devs are talking over her, the Siren part seems fairly accurate because of the way her mouth moves). so you know. im gonna be agonizing over that until i can hear what she says. ive already spent an hour just repeating it over and over. i nearly fell asleep lol

we’re gonna start with the moze gameplay (the first 14 minutes of bl3) because chronologically it’s first in both timeline and release date

i love the license plates on the right there

also it looks like they added in claptrap’s old welcome sign from windshear waste! time to stand in front of it for 30 minutes to see if any messages pop up like bl2

fast travel station as well, definitely going to see if/where i can teleport and going there immediately. i imagine this is more for DLC stuff and grinding tho.

also! i do believe we saw Covenant Pass previously. good to know this is actually where it is!

Marcus saying “And Welcome to Pandora!” in the beginning confirms that, yes, they’re going to be on a bus!! i wonder if there will be a fight scene before that though. it’s interesting Clappy mentions that “those jerks who tried to murder you are the children of the vault!” so i mean... there’s gotta be... right?

im also convinced this intro is going to be a mirror of Borderlands 1. i stg if it starts out with the first few notes of Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked and then swaps songs I’m going to lose my mind

also also, the order is totally going to mimic the bl1 one. Fl4k = Mordecai, Amara = Lilith, Moze = Roland, Zane = Brick. We even have Lilith taking Angel’s spot as the mysterious voice in our heads, and probably Marcus driving, AND being dropped off at a bus stop.

bet the reason they changed it from ‘Moze as the Bot Jock’ to ‘Moze as the Gunner’ is because it fits under ‘Roland as the Soldier’ better. Also, ‘Zane Flynt as Himselfs’ would be a play off ‘Brick as Himself’. Amara as the Siren is obvious, and ‘Mordecai as the Hunter’ vs ‘Fl4k as the Beastmaster’ is pretty similar as well, given Fl4k has all those Hunter skills.

the 4 basic emotes im guessing. im so glad we have the option to boop our friends in the face with emotes.

also moze’s little bunny skin is adorable

the ECHOnet used to be called “Riftspace”, “the Spline”, and... “MercTel: A Cyber-Dahl Joint” lmfao

specifically calls out Pandora. also, “artificial megastructures”??? THAT’S SO COOL

AND FUCKING

SENTIENT MEGASTRUCTURES????

gearbox. please. i have never ever wanted anything more in my life. please. it’s probably my birthday. PLEASE GEARBOX

also interesting that the user agreement specifically notes ‘Respawns’. I assume this is a joke because New-U stations have been confirmed not canon

“Core law”. Core law? Core... daddy? ... ????

core as in like a core government somewhere that’s not the border worlds? that’s interesting...

“The Legion”, okay, acknowledging TPS, that’s dope

“Project Blackrakk” ... im interested

“Thresher Company” lmao

im curious if Axton was apart of any of the mentioned ones. i don’t think it’s been stated, but i could be wrong

“Chieftain Oort”. also ‘Recently Legless Gary’, lmfao poor dude.

oh yeah im sure this is fine. also holy shit did they google the synonyms for ‘change’ and just start listing them? lmfao

“implicit subscription to the Digby Vermouth ‘Dig’s Gigs’ secret concert subscription service”

sorry, what?

if this doesn’t come up again in the future- if we don’t get a spam letter or 3 in our mailbox about this concert subscription thing i'm gonna be so disappointed

Dahl hates you if you’re not a fan of hyper-jazz, “you snob” lmfao

my brain hurts, they’re good at writing these

damn phones exist? i thought everything was ECHO. aight, that’s good to know. i guess there just aren’t any phone networks around the border worlds

also “shared dreamspaces” sound really cool

hm. that’s no good lmfao. also i love that the buttons are ‘Agree’ and ‘OK’. there is no escape, once you agree, you can’t even leave because you’re agreeing that you’re trapped with these rules even if you cancel.

that’s fucked up, DAHL. can’t believe you treat your user base the same way you treat your employees. i guess i shouldn’t be surprised.

anyway, shoutout to literally the only TOA I’ve ever fully read in my life.

also, clicking through this TOA too fast WILL end claptrap’s voice line early. so be careful if you want to hear what he has to say!!

oh shit lmao I gotta go edit that Fl4k post

ok im back ~time magic of being able to save things in drafts and post them at a later date~

sliding preserves momentum, so you can actually slide (nearly) the entire way down! i love this.

small, but claptrap bends his antennae when trying to be stealthy. i thought that was a pretty cool detail

“and some guns include an alternate shooting mode~! try it out!”

player: `immediately shoots claptrap in the face`

i died lol

a very nice look at this sign.

good to know that the twins really are tempting people to join with promises of food. i mean it makes sense, i imagine most of the cultists are desperate for stability and a reasonable life on pandora.

also, Shiv calls himself “holy influencer of the children of the vault” lol. i love that. gearbox really is going for the internet’s throat, isn’t it?

i do like that hovering over an NPC will give you their name only and not name/healthbar.

a better look at one of the signs referencing the Mother!!! i was waiting for this, the only real look we got at one was in that one scene with Moze and IB

“Behold the Mother strength surrender to the truth”

yeah that’s not ominous...

i assume the mother and father are intended to be tyreen and troy? but idk how i feel about that implication...

i like the new little gear/spring effect for the magnet lol

new lilith! i know a lot of people don’t like it, but i do. she looks better than the bl2 vers. altho i think it’s weird they swapped both bl1 and bl2′s ‘AI’ effect to those dots and then didn’t bring it to BL3. the dots effect felt cleaner. curious why they’re not applying it to bl3 when they went thru all that effort in 1 and 2.

... back up please.

i like that there is a changing icon for long pressing now

“time to check out our slay of the day!” sounds like Tyreen but tbh i legit thought this was moze’s reaction to opening the chest at first lol

you can hear someone start screaming in agony while she’s walking up the stairs, so i know it’s not moze, but im so used to the VHs talking when they see a new piece of loot my brain just assumed.

also THE MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND IS A REMIX OF BANDIT SLAUGHTER!!! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS I WAS FREAKING OUT THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT

also, claptrap when dropping health yells “this could save your life! then, you’ll owe me a life debt!” bullshit im pretty sure you already decided we owed you a life debt the moment we stepped off that bus

“i see it... the great vault” - a line from a cultist you kill

i know i mentioned in this post that the Great Vault may be already opened, but it could also just be a Vault they’re planning on opening and using the propaganda to convince the cultists to help them find it.

“if you help us get this vault open, you’ll be handsomely rewarded! you’ll get superpowers! you’ll get regular meals! you’ll get money and guns and dates!” you know, the usual stuff.

either way, elevating the Vault to a higher state (god/heaven/whatever) makes sense if you’re running a cult.

btw there is a hidden chest in the scaffolding to the left of the door, if you’re interested in grabbing some better guns before shiv. personally, i’ll be using the toy guns.

also the TVs are actually playing propaganda now!!

this one is asking questions that i cant understand due to the sound effects of the chest and claptrap talking, but it says something about “... the dust? ... join the Children of the Vault!”

“hey shiiiiiv all your dumb friends are dead!!”

shiv be like

“all my friends are dead”

some cool level-up art! I notice these are the same pictures as used on the japanese site. i wonder if they change depending on which VH you’ve picked (If you’re playing Amara/Fl4k, do you get pics of Amara and Fl4k? the player is playing moze, afterall).

also also “it’s a KIA on the knife wielding maniac. suuuper dead.”

it’s cool that the VHs have specific lines for the deaths of bosses. i hope that continues and it’s not just a ‘15 min of intro gameplay’ thing. you know, where everything is super detailed in the beginning and then slowly gets less and less as the game progresses? anyway, moze’s little chuckle is fuckin adorable lol

ah. the door closes now so you can’t even explore Shiv’s room before Lilith shows up. gearbox plS you know me too well, i was looking for a g l i m p s e

claptrap’s voice line for getting released is SUPER off time, he hits the ground before going “you did it! i’m sa-ahhhhhhhh!” it’s weird, wondering if that’s just a glitch.

also also we get a nice listen to the revive ally sound. i could’ve sworn it wasn’t in the first look at this mission we got, because i heard it for the first time during the coop Zane/Amara gameplay on Promethea. i might be wrong, tho.

im very curious what these symbols are claptrap is beaming up

i mean you know what im gonna say

they look eridian

and they do

so wtf clappy why u beaming up eridian letters to Lilith

i assume maybe Tannis gave clappy some weird upgrade or something so he could communicate with the crimson raiders without the CoV listening in? it could be that Tannis or someone is decoding this message since Tannis does know how to translate Eridian (as shown in her bl1 ECHOs)

... or at the very least she gave Lilith a translator

the darkening makes it so that you can see the crackening. also this COULD just be a beam that lilith can see from wherever she is, but i want to believe there’s more eridian stuff. bc eridian stuff is fun.

this is so fu cking crisp im dying i love it

lilith’s tattoos spreading down her fingers

same symbol as her chest tattoo. maybe the symbol denotes new powers? like how lily has one on her chest for phasewalking, and a new one on her hand for teleportation

i love how her wings look like actual fire. i fucking love this

lilith is looking so fucking good in the new engine

im glad they got rid of her super red eyes, tbh it looked a bit weird

i think they are really pushing her fire affinity, im sure we’ll see Maya has an elemental affinity as well (im calling corrosive) and im sure Tyreen will too (slag). Amara looks to be Shock because that’s her ‘default’, but who knows until (if) bl4 comes out. but corrosive wings on maya would look SOOO fucking cool. please. please please please.

god she looks so good compared to bl2. i love how the tattoos softly glow in the dark, too. i gotta play this mission late in the day...

“you’re... the voice in my head, right?” i love this so much, i really hope my shitpost comes true.

lilith gives you a grenade mod for completing her mission! im really glad they are PUSHING through the tutorial/intro so you can get right into the game. bl2′s ‘intro’ of all these tutorials was brutal. especially waiting to unlock your action skill.

in 3 you get your action skill automatically at level 2!!! which is insane, i love it! they’re jumping right into it, it’s great. and they seem to be pushing for you to get all the stuff you need right away.

it’s curious to note that in bl3 we get our class mods at the end of the Promethea demo (after Gigamind), since in bl2 you get your first (usually?) after the hunting the firehawk mission and both seem to take place immediately after we get to the ‘base of operations’ of the game (Sanctuary vs Sanctuary-III).

yep that quest is 100% in line with the quest marker.

i imagine From the Ground Up may be discovering where the Vault Map/Key actually is? maybe bringing people to the Recruitment Center (notably Tannis)

for this scene. i hope this takes place after the HBC, because i seriously... can’t imagine the twins showing up, taking the Vault Map, bringing it to the HBC, and then NOT taking Lilith’s powers/trying to kill Lily and accidentally taking her powers. it just doesn’t make sense, Vault Hunters be damned, we are level 2 they could melt us easy peasy.

If anything, it feels like we COULD find the Vault Map in the Recruitment Center, Tannis tries to activate it/fix it, we find out it’s mega broke, and then the Sun Smashers show up and take it. but i seriously can’t imagine Lilith nor the new VHs allowing that to happen while they’re still there. maybe if Tannis sends us to do something while Lilith is gathering other CR members? then it could make sense if they attack while Tannis is alone with the Key...

we end up finding something in Shiv’s room that shows/helps us realize the Sun Smashers bringing the Vault Map to the Calypsos. tho this would mean the quest From the Ground Up is SUPER short and I imagine it’s not. Maybe we raid a camp of theirs like the one in front of Sanc-III with the bridge/ramp? We need to be about level 6 before we go and we start From the Ground Up at 2 so there’s obviously something DEEP we’re missing here. maybe this is a mission where we go gather the other Crimson Raiders? HMMMMMMMM...

.... oh.

nevermind lmfao

she opens her ECHO immediately after this LOL i feel kinda dumb now

raiding their camp it is! the Droughts sounds like a fun location. Very much like the dust. you guys think there’s a Shade situation going on there? i’m excited to see it. Still think we’re going to use Shiv’s room to get that lead, though. i just really wanna watch tv lmfao. i hope this means the bandits run from the camp to the HBC, or we find info that the bandit warchief sent a party to the HBC with the Vault Map. either way, i just don’t want the twins showing up until after the HBC or i will have so many questions. “why didn’t you kill lilith?” being the first. “the god queen wants her head!” ur goddamn right she does, so why doesn’t she (try to) kill lilith???

85% already?! hot damn

also

that’s one badass description there, Moze

also also

while having gun slots locked is pretty normal, im surprised they’re locking class mods and relics, too! i wonder when we’ll be able to equip relics. maybe when we first go to eden-6 or smth. or maybe after we meet up with Rhys. shit maybe he’s just handing us an artifact (im gonna interchange these a lot, sorry!) in that Promethea video lmfao

“ready to chuck some boom and frag some maniacs” lol moze i love you

if you’re playing Zane... `equips grenade mod for checkmark` `immediately equips second action skill and never actually uses grenade mod`

“it’s the firehawk! the god queen wants her head!”

like i alluded to before, i would not be surprised if Tyreen doesn’t know she can absorb Siren powers... when she goes to succ lilith in front of Sanctuary-III, it’s totally possible she actually was trying to kill her. That could explain why she looks so intrigued at her hand like “oh shit okay lets see what this can do”

might be why she was okay with sending her cultists after her instead of showing up herself.

“alright, we got a foothold. maybe things are turning our way. come on killer, you’re with me” we are going to explore the SHIT out of shiv’s room.

alright alright alright

let’s move on to the Sanctuary-III stuff

yessss

i love the quest objective thing, it looks like we will be able to swap through our quests with the push of a button! also im curious why exactly we’re going to promethea right away. i wonder if the twins say something about moving there after getting the vault map/lilith’s powers, or if we hear from rhys. im expecting something about the vault map, since our vh will admit they don’t know rhys at all when talking to lorelei. but for some reason we need to be within the city limits? since lily says ellie got us within the city limits.

hmmmmmm. okay, okay, maybe the map was trying to lead us to promethea for vault reasons during that short amount of time that we had it and it was working. maybe promethea is what we see when tannis is activating the key during that one cutscene? ohhh shit how dope would it be if we got that fucking easter egg message? omg “Children of the Vault. Come to Promethea. We are not on Pandora anymore. Tannis is not what she seems. Do not open the Vaults.” and everyone is like ‘uh did that thing just mention Tannis by name??’ and now it’s REALLY important to get the map back just so we can figure out wtf it’s trying to tell us.

i will question how ‘Tannis is not what she seems’ would affect character relationships, especially if it’s said so early in the game. so perhaps we only hear the first part of the message. maybe it’s corrupted because it was recently broken. iunno. just playing around with ideas. the canon of this game is like flarp putty until sept. 13th

anyway moving on because this is literally the first f r a m e of the video

i like that you can see pandora’s eridian scar. if the destroyer is speaking through eridium to people, it’s gonna bust outta the side of this planet like you wouldn’t fucking believe lmao. eridium is a window to the soul and if you stare long enough into its glossy, shining sides, the destroyer stares back

that or it’s just like a beacon, slowly spreading its influence across the universe. but i like the idea that the destroyer can waltz out of a big enough hunk of eridium. so it will bust out of pandora’s eridium scar. F in chat for pandora but also lmfao the amount of tentacles and rage would be unparalleled.

reality is that the twins are probably farming this scar for eridium to turn into slag for multiple purposes. like brainwashing their cultists, giving them powers, and ensuring their guns have their manufacturer’s quirk (im getting to this in my next post bc im just gonna compile all the ign gun videos into one big post)

the floor art is different from the actual sanc-iii demo. i mention this first in my behind closed doors panel analysis, but im gonna mention it again because this is ~official~. the floor list on the first walkthru of sanc-iii we got had the names of all the crimson raiders and lines leading to their shops. so we had the infirmary/tannis, marcus, moxxi, etc listed on the floor. i imagine this new sanc-iii will change as we get more people on board or if we do a sort of re-decoration of the ship.

also also, it’s cool to see that we have 4 rooms on the minimap, likely one for each of the VHs (and your coop buddies). ive seen speculation that the other, non-played VHs will hang out in their rooms when you’re not playing them, and tbh i really hope this is the case.

we also know this version of sanctuary-iii is after pandora, so there are no promethea citizens aboard yet. which makes me double certain the first sanc-iii video we got takes place either after endgame (explaining why Lily has her tattoos back) or right after Athenas (explaining why Maya is there). which... i mean... spoilers, guys.

that’s one good lookin fast travel station, holy shit

im in tears over here because “Caution: no steppy”. this is so fucking funny to me

no steppy on me

okay moving on because i will cry laugh over this for forever im allowed

moze’s room is so much different than amara’s

also i notice she’s on the left of the two on the top, which makes me hope the other 4 are reserved for the other VHs (or your coop buddy).

compared to the official sanc-iii demo video

and amara’s room

moze’s is so barren oh my god

someone get this girl like... a colorful throw pillow or something

baaank. also doubles as the secret stash. kinda upsetting, because that is infinitely less loot i can store when i make a lot of characters. also if i upgrade the bank once, is it upgraded across all my other characters too? or are the guns i put in storage slot 11 locked up until i buy the upgrade?

either way, i am saddened because no more mule characters. and way less space the more characters you make and more gear you find, because all gear you put in here is there across all characters. i hope this means our backpacks will be a lot bigger this time around!

supamax mfg shows up again

ppm/04-02 matches up with the number behind the fast travel station. i wonder if this will come into play. if the number changes later in-game im going to freak the fuck out bc that means wherever we are isn’t actually sanctuary-iii

ppm/04-02. remember that 👀

also, the wall behind the golden chest changed from red to steel/greenish. can’t tell the actual color. same as the floor

you know. that color.

“golden keys are popular. you can get some in-game and also get them online”

in-game you say??? im interested! i wonder if there will be some sort of arena (like moxxi’s) where if you complete it you get a key as a reward. i saw people speculating about some sort of randomized boss rush, that could definitely be a way to get gold keys, as well.

oooo engine room! im excited to explore here.

original size is 16. so, we have 40 backpack slots! still... you know... only 1 above the max of bl2, but hey. at least that’s an upgrade. as small as it may be

on the bright side: bank upgrades increase capacity by 5. with a base of 10, and 8 upgrades, we have 50 slots to fill. which is a big leap from the original 24. it is still a shame we have to share these across characters, tho

offline cultist stream? makes me think the CoV really was trying to steal/take over sanc-iii from the crimson raiders and we went to go take it (back?) in Taking Flight. either the CoV found/ordered Sanc-III, or the crimson raiders were building it/fixing it up, their stronghold got taken over, and the CoV were prepping it for takeover.

the shooting range. and if you notice that little CoV symbol in the bottom left there? yeah pretty much backs up my previous theory

all those red bits are tied to ellie’s crew challenge. so we’ll be collecting things for her!

an altar for scooter 😢

“we’re gonna get those cultism sumbitches, believe you me”

where you get yeeted out of Sanc-III. im definitely going to try jumping in it to see if it kills me. doesn’t look like the drop pods are available yet

that’s not clappy, pretty sure he’s hanging out on the bridge right now

schematics for veronica

the thing i was most excited about in this video!

loooots of customizations! which excites me because i know eridium used to get useless late game when you’ve grinded all the raid bosses. it looks like eridum is going to be in ultra high demand. but u can bet ur ass im gonna be unlocking all those fucking customizations asap.

veteran rewards is also super super interesting

hgggggg i wanna know what the shields do!!!

i like the vault symbol at the top of the item card as well, shows you its a special type of weapon/item. im honestly surprised we’re able to buy ‘veteran rewards’ so early in the game? i mean obvi we won’t have enough eridium (look at the costs!) but it’s wild it’s even accessible. im personally a fan of the first bonus ‘anointed: gain life steal on action skill end’

looks like these guns have been chosen

to give them those special bonuses

i do see that just anointed is not class specific, but the ones that say anointed gunner or maybe anointed siren will be (confirmed by the devs in video).

you pay with eridium, so maybe the vending machine has some way to confer the power of eridium to the guns. or some shit. iunno. it’s possible this won’t be available until the end of the game, hence veteran rewards, and is only being shown to us right now since this is a showcasing video.

pandoran civilian. no promethea civilians today folks! i am CONVINCED that the old sanc-iii demo takes place after the end of the game. at least after athenas.

it’s weird seeing moxxi hanging outside her bar.

is also cool to know that the 4 slot machines are actually available. seems like npcs can play them, but we can use all 4 if we want to. which is really nice

the one on the far left is called the ‘loot boxxer’ and it gives mostly guns lol. i see they are taking jabs. good for them

better pic of the leftmost machines

Zer0 seems to have a bounty board? not sure if this is like a physical bounty board or if they will contact you when they want something dead, but it is cool to note. this isn’t shown in video, just the devs speaking about it.

similarly hammerlock has ‘big game hunts’ where you find “rare, challenging creatures” and kill them for him

apparently we’ll be killing something known as a manvark

this book

i fucking recognize this book

HAMMERLOCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

in all seriousness tho

hammerlock probably isn’t in his room because we haven’t rescued him from eden-6 yet.

a cool thing about the crew challenges: as you progress through the game and do these challenges, sanc-iii will ‘grow and change to reflect the things you’ve accomplished’. altho another dev says “sometimes these are optional things, like challenges”

so now im like oh shit we’re gonna change sanc-iii as we play the game. i wonder if that means we’ll be changing the hull, too. because you know. the blue paint job. we gotta go STEALTH. sneaky beaky into the calypsos fleety

tannis doesn’t have the saurian on her table. also, interesting note, she DOES have the eridian log in the corner. meaning she must have had that before eden-6. interesting... maybe we’ll find more on Pandora.

she is still covered in blood tho. idk i don’t have an explanation for that. don’t think i want to think of one, to be quite honest.

oh no. (those are skulls next to all the gurneys)

“tannis plays a much bigger role in bl3 than she has in past games”. bigger than borderlands 1? that is... impressive. she’ll be running the health vending machines (which is weird bc i could’ve sworn in the promethea demo, zed was still running them... hm.)

another angle of sanc-iii

clappy? you good there?

the devs said they’re using him to plug a hole. i assume the calypsos shot at the ship as we’re leaving or smth.

lily with no tattoos, who also looks significantly more pissed than her other sanc-iii demo counterpart

you know. because she got her tattoos.

also

fucking

lilith says something right here. all i can make out is “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like tannis said. ..... [inaudible] Siren.” maybe some weird word i haven’t heard before? i swear she’s saying ‘like tannis said: a ‘m...’ Siren” but i am not 100% sure. if someone could help me out, that’d be rad.

so its sounding like lilith rushed in with explicit warning from tannis about tyreen stealing her powers, and tannis knew tyreen was some sort of Siren and warned lily, but lily didn’t listen. it could also be that lily is saying something like “im not a siren” but i can’t really hear it if she is. it sounds like she saying a word that starts with m to me. if someone could help me with this i’d owe you my life

whew. i am. fucking TIRED.

im gonna sleep for like 3 hours and then wake up and make food before the fl4k streams start.

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3

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roominthecastle · 5 years

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"Rassvet” delves into the time period between Katarina’s first suicide attempt in February, 1991 (following her run-in w/ the Osterman death squad) & the strategic “resurrection of Raymond Reddington”. Timeline-wise we are good here, imo, otherwise things get... interesting. More behind the cut:

Red told Liz that her mother walked into the ocean 2 months after the Christmas fire (1990). This date checks out. At the shelter, we can hear the news announcing the results of the Lithuanian Independence Referendum. This happened (for real) on February 10, 1991. We also know that Ilya/Red had his first surgical procedure on October 3, 1991. So it’s an 8-month period and not 6 as Liz says, but it’s not that big of a difference (you’re bad at simple math, Liz, and I can relate). Dom says that the various reconstructive surgeries took place over a one-year period, so Ilya/Red likely walked into the first bank towards the end of 1992. Katarina was still alive here and that matches Dom’s claims that 1) he came to the US after the collapse of the Soviet Union (so anytime after December 31, 1991) and 2) that he met Katarina a few months after he arrived, then he never saw or heard from her again. And this is where Dom’s story ends.

Katarina’s “death”, however, is trickier. The show’s been playing fast and loose w/ Red’s “I’ve never lied to you” for a while now, and what he’s told Liz about her mother’s death is def on the very loose end here. Ilya/Red claimed Katarina committed suicide. Well, she did (“I went into the ocean to end my life.”), it was just an unsuccessful one and Ilya/Red did believe her to be dead for a while. He also claimed she was never the same after the fire, and her death is treated as a symbolic one throughout this episode, too (“The woman who walked into the ocean is dead.”). But I still think she is likely dead for real now, she just died later as a consequence of their Reddington Charade, likely as a result of a betrayal that contributed to why Red is the way he is today, why he accepts nothing less than utmost/undivided loyalty, and why he feels so much guilt around Liz, believing that he can never give back what he took from her.

So the dates are fine and, at the end of the day, “Lizzie, your mother is dead” is a statement that holds true, imo (at the very least as a “clever turn of phrase” if Kat is “gone” like Samar is, i.e. never coming back, never able to reach out). For now, I am at peace w/ this.

We also have confirmation that Ilya/Red was indeed there when Liz shot her father. They pulled the dying Reddington from the flames before the firefighters arrived, but he soon died in Katarina’s arms. Then -- after burying him -- Ilya/Red and Kat probably went their separate ways bc he only read about her suicide and had no idea that she survived. In fact, we find him back at work at the Embassy all perky and business as usual, which feels emotionally disjointed from the importance Katarina seems to suddenly take on in his life when he decides to sacrifice everything to protect her. Interestingly, he makes no mention of Liz in this initial vow of protection. In fact, he seems to have no particular investment/interest in Liz whatsoever, and, as we know, his promise of taking care of her “as his own” is never followed through, either.

So if Katarina is as important to him as that monumental sacrifice implies, how come he wasn’t out of his mind with grief before when he thought she’d drowned? With Liz, he is emotionally consistent: his devotion is 100% and so is his devastation when he believes her to be dead. I don’t see this w/ Katarina. There is an inconsistency here that makes me think that there was more behind his willingness to take over Reddington’s identity than a childhood pledge but the answer to this is in the missing parts of the story.

I am def not disputing that Katarina was important to him. They clearly had a bond. I think that childhood pledge was real, too, bc it’s something Dom would know about and it got repeated. I also buy the unrequited & unconditional love scenario bc it fits Red’s personality and he already dropped a comment about this to Liz. But I don’t see them as lovers.

Katarina was decidedly not interested, she was devastated by Reddington’s death, even had a second suicide attempt. She was in love w/ Reddington and also married to/lived with Kirk in Soviet Russia at the time Ilya/Red was stationed in Washington, so I really don’t see how tacking on a 3rd (long-distance) relationship would have fit her life or why. In this ep, they also stayed in separate hotel rooms, Ilya/Red knocked before trying to enter hers -- this behavior doesn’t match two people being in an established intimate relationship (even if it’s on-again, off-again) and I got the same vibe from Red’s POV in “Cape May”, too. Liz is his life and heart, the woman he loves, and after this latest episode, the parallel btw how Katarina and Red react to the death of the person they were in love with is clearer and stronger than ever. For Katarina it was real Reddington. For Red, it is Liz. And I am not even gonna get into the “my child is being raised by someone else” angle but it parallels, too: Katarina put a pin in her original “plan” and came back to make sure Liz was safe. Red did the same for Agnes.

Anyway, what we have in “Rassvet” is, imo, a blend of standard limited 3rd person narration + a curious (infuriating? depends on your perspective) case of an unreliable narrator, which resulted in 2/3 of the messages I got that range from “WTF did I just watch?” to “it doesn’t really add up” and “what about his family??” I don’t believe it’s supposed to add up (yet) and stuff is missing (for now) for a reason.

This ep taps into the signature style of previous flashbacks:

“Cape May” is Red’s distorted recollection filtered through a cocktail of opium, guilt, grief, and suicidal ideation

“Requiem” is Mr. Kaplan’s trip down memory lane that’s skewed by her severe physical/mental/emotional traumas

“Rassvet” is a classic story-inspired-by-true-events Dom tells his granddaughter

There is no objective record of past events presented to us in TBL. We never had that and we might never will. We have memories from sources that are compromised -- biased, altered, censored, redacted -- in various ways, and “narrators” who are unreliable for various reasons. In other words, we have stories and storytellers with agendas.

The lack of reliable omniscient narration becomes evident in “Rassvet” that fittingly revolves around the creation of an identity from a mix of hard facts and anecdotes -- “some true, grounded in reality, some invented” -- for a purpose that (imo) remains partially obscured. It is perfectly captured in both Red’s scene w/ Liz and his subsequent confrontation with our most recent storyteller, Dom: “I know the broad strokes, I know who I am. I need to know the details of exactly what you’ve thrown out there into the ether.”

Red used to be Ilya but the Ilya we see in this episode is Dom’s version -- idealized and incomplete, mostly to fit the story and Dom’s reasons for telling it. This is why Red needs to know what exactly has been said, imo. Liz has already told him the broad strokes and he is Ilya, but the details Dom used to color over things ended up painting a distorted picture that made Red twitch as he listened to Liz in that restaurant. “I know who I am”, he tells Dom but it sure seemed that he only recognized parts of himself in what Liz repeated back to him. The technicalities of him becoming Reddington were told. The whys and hows of his mental/emotional de-evolution are still unclear, imo. This is what Liz touches upon, as well, when she asks him why he stayed Reddington after his alleged original motivation (accessing the $40-million “frame fund” to use it to stay ahead of those hunting Katarina and him) was satisfied. And he naturally dodges her question.

Red detests monsters who masquerade as saviors. This was established at the very beginning when he demolished one of Liz’s idols, as was his view of himself as a violent, ruthless man and self-proclaimed monster who’s sick with guilt and grief and can only atone by protecting Liz. But now, thanks to Dom’s story, she has a skewed view of him as some selfless hero with the purest of original motivations. He was visibly uncomfortable when she believed him to be her father bc he is not that. He is uncomfortable to be perceived as her hero, too, bc he is not that, either, and he def does not see himself that way, either.

Red knows what we know and is angry about it: Dom omitted parts from his narrative and embellished or maybe even invented others. Dom blamed Red for Katarina’s death. He forgave her betrayal but not Red’s (which reminded me of Aram’s situation w/ Levi and Red’s reaction to it), and we have seen Red blaming himself, too, but that tragedy, the event necessitating a “Hobson’s choice” (either letting both Liz and Katarina die or saving one) is missing from the story. Dembe once told Red that Liz may never be ready to hear what he did to Katarina, but there is no trace of that in Dom’s story; it is all unconditional love and pure sacrifice. There is no trace of Red’s own family tragedy, either, but I still don’t believe any of this is forgotten or rewritten.

The former is likely omitted bc Dom’s “storytelling agenda” was to reconnect with Liz, smooth things over, and help everyone move forward. This motivation was floated in the previous episode via his carside chat w/ Red that’s all about the topic of forgiveness: “Why did she turn you in? What did you do that made her want to do that?” | “I haven't ever been totally forthright about myself. She thought she'd have a better chance of finding out more if I was in prison and couldn't interfere.” And it is brought to a conclusion -- on Dom’s part -- at the end of “Rassvet” when he tells Red: “What you need to do is to thank me for putting all of this behind you.” I think the story was Dom’s way of offering forgiveness to Red (a response to his “You forgave Katarina but not me” in the previous ep) and helping him move on. He believes he told Liz enough to give her closure, too. Red seems to disagree, claiming that this likely made things worse. He’s probably right and I cannot wait to see how it unfolds.

I think the other major omission -- that of Red’s family tragedy that’s been alluded to in earlier seasons -- is not in Dom’s story bc he doesn’t know about it. At least I had this feeling when Red showed up on Dom’s doorstep after Liz’s “death”. Dom acted like Red had never experienced the devastating loss of a family, saying sth along the lines of “You think now you know how I feel?!” If he knew about Red’s/Ilya’s wife and daughter, he never would have said that, imo. Also, Red was an operative and worked in the Ambassador’s Residence in D.C. that still housed the Soviet embassy in 1991. When he met younger Dom in Moscow, he greeted him by saying “Sir, it’s been too long.” So they were likely not in touch for a long time and Ilya/Red was stationed in the US for who knows how long and for what mission (it seems he was translating a report on a USA/USSR Maritime Boundary Agreement when Katarina’s crossword code popped up on the screen). This “blank period” gives us room for that missing story piece (which likely happened around/after 1987) and a plausible reason for Dom to not be aware of it.

Dom was not aware of the existence of the Cabal, either, until Katarina got caught up in their web, so I think it’s v likely that they were also responsible for killing Ilya/Red’s family, which -- coupled w/ wanting to protect Katarina -- would be a proper, plausible motivation for him to take on Reddington’s identity given that it provided him w/ something even better than $40 million: tangible access to the Cabal and the Fulcrum. The new identity brought the seed money and a stepping stone to launch his Odyssean mission.

#tbl spoilers #tbl spec #long post #lizzington #hope you guys accept this as a sort of 'blanket response'#the stuff i didn't touch upon but was asked about will come separately soon

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rutilation · 6 years

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there isn’t a new chapter but i feel like I should still...write things

Fool that I am, I thought that since there wouldn’t be a chapter this month, I could just quickly type up a post about some hnk things that have been on my mind, but haven’t been immediately relevant to the new chapters. Easy Peasy.

Now it’s 5,000 words later, I’ve started ranting about geology instead of my usual literary bullshit, a couple cookie recipes have snuck their way onto this word document, and the Euclase section has ballooned far beyond its original scope.

Anyway, click the read more if you want to see the following topics:

Hot takes about Euclase

I attempt to psychoanalyze Cairngorm’s fashion choices

Visual symbolism from the cover of the artbook

What type of microcrystalline diamond aggregate is Bort anyway? ft. the etymology of Bort’s name

Crazy snail theory

Since Euclase is a bit of a hot topic at the moment, I figured that I might as well expand a bit on my thoughts towards them. Somehow, I ended up writing a big ‘ol essay. Then I erased most of that essay. But there were some good bits in there, so here’s what I thought was worth salvaging. First though, I should lay my cards on the table, and explain why I’m not on team Euclase Did Nothing Wrong.

In the days following the release of chapter 71, I’ve heard a couple people say that this line:

was not translated with the appropriate nuance, and that Euclase wasn’t blatantly saying “lol, I’ve found their weakness.” However, the fact that Padparadscha regards Euclase’s words as emotional manipulation in the very next scene indicates to me that that’s still a probable reading of Euclase’s actions, even if they’re not being as unsubtle about it as the translation implies. I don’t know much Japanese though, so I can’t really comment on any translation issues that may or may not have occurred.

I think my sticking point with Euclase is that I have trouble buying that they’re acting in good faith or that they’re really committed to the ideals they’re espousing. Granted, most of what they’ve been saying and doing seems reasonable, especially compared Phos’s short-sighted flailing. They haven’t displayed any malice, and they’ve at least paid lip service to wanting positive change and demonstrating pro-social behavior.

But here’s the thing: if they truly value change, and they simply want to go about effecting positive change in a way that’s more sensible than Phos’s bull-in-a-china-shop strategy, then why are they so consistently reactionary? (I mean this in the most neutral sense of the term, btw.) They didn’t value an equitable relationship with Kongou until Phos made it impossible for the Kongou-centric monarchy to continue. They felt no urgency towards Cinnabar’s plight until they became useful in warding off the moon gems. They showed no concern for Phos’s crippling lack of self-esteem until they could use it to try and persuade Phos to defect to their side. Even though they have reputation among the other gems for being kindhearted, from what I’ve seen, they’re only ever as kind as is absolutely necessary to maintain group cohesion. The only time they’ve been considerate of someone else’s feelings in a proactive manner is with Dia, specifically regarding their issues with Bort. And since those two are the gems’ strongest non-comatose defenders, it’s prudent for Euclase to concern themselves with their issues.

Like, compare Euclase and their partner’s respective reactions to Phos in chapters 21 and 22. The story goes out of its way to show that Jade doesn’t mob Phos like the other gems, and they express concern over Phos’s insomnia. Euclase meanwhile, has no compunctions about ganging up on Phos with the others, and only apologizes when they need to ask a favor of them. I kind of expect a bit of tactlessness from the other gems, because most of them, on top of being single-minded, are implied to be pretty childlike on account of the highly static society they live in. And even those who aren’t very childlike kind of don’t have their shit together. But since Euclase has positioned themselves as wise and compassionate authority figure, that sort of thing stands out. And when they’ve cultivated a reputation among the other gems for being kind, it’s really off-putting when the narrative drops hints that that kindness isn’t sincere.

Couple all that with Padparadscha’s wariness towards them and that creepy face they made in chapter 60 and my predominant emotion towards them is

Which isn’t to say that I hate them or anything. To the contrary, I think that it’s valuable that their perspective--that of someone who is stalwartly on the ‘society’ side of the whole ‘individual vs society’ theme that the manga has going on—is a valuable one to acknowledge in the story. Furthermore, I find them to be quite the interesting character at this point. They’ve come a long way from their initial role as “that one minor character who follows Jade around.” I also find characters who are in some way secretive or two-faced to be a lot of fun because I get a kick out of trying to wade through the miasma of subtext and half-truths to try and get to the core of a character (looking at you, Craig-Greg.) Anyway, in Euclase’s case, I don’t even think they have bad intentions; but at the moment, the impression I’m getting is that they only value other people insofar as they can contribute to the maintenance of society, whatever form that society takes, rather than seeing society as something that should exist for the sake of enriching the lives of inherently valuable people. Despite the fact that Euclase is a staunch team player, I’m gonna go on record and say that I don’t think they care all that much about other people, they’ve just come to the conclusion that being cooperative and not rocking the boat as a general principle is the most rational way for them to go about their life.

If at some point in the future Euclase demonstrates that this isn’t their mindset, then I’m prepared to eat humble pie and admit that I was interpreting all their actions in the most cynical light possible and jumping to conclusions from there. But for now, I am Mr. Krabs.

Getting away from “It’s about ethics in gem society” for a moment, I suspect that, unlike a lot of the other gems, Euclase isn’t really coming from a place of willful ignorance. They’re not incurious and their words and actions have been quite deliberate. I think that they know—or have at least inferred—some truths about their world that a lot of the other gems look away from. Their oft remarked fondness for statistics might have given them insight into some discrepancies in the narratives they’ve been fed by Kongou. For example:

They’re probably well aware of the fact that no one on the moon has ever come back, and that if they themselves are captured, they’re gone for good. (According to Aechmea this wasn’t always the case; but it’s quite possible that the gems who were returned to earth and promptly recaptured lived before the gems started keeping written records as well as before any of the current characters were born.)

If we compare the number of old gems to the number of young gems to the number of middle-aged gems, it’s clear that the old group is the smallest in number, and that most of the gems who make it to old age don’t patrol often for one reason or another. Even though the gems go about their lives under the assumption that if they’re careful, they’ll never be caught by the Lunarians, that assumption is clearly not based in reality. And Euclase, who apparently knows how old each gem is down to the day, is probably well aware of how illusory their immortality really is.

What I’m getting at is this: they’re likely one of the few gems who have wrapped their head around the concept of death, and like all the other gems who’ve come to understand that they’re not as immortal as they’ve been lead to believe, this knowledge has informed their outlook on life and their actions. But while someone like Phos has taken a carpe diem approach to dealing with the fleeting nature of life, it seems to me that Euclase responded by maneuvering themselves into a position where they never have to take risks and, thus, never need to die. As one of the little character intros mentioned, Euclase is skilled enough for any job, but the job they’ve chosen is one that apparently allows them to avoid patrolling and stay out of danger.

Something I find interesting which I expect to be brought up in the story later is Euclase’s insecurity about their brittleness, which was briefly mentioned in chapter 8. To expand on this, Euclase has three planes of cleavage, one perfect and two distinct. This aspect is actually something they share in common with Phos. Euclase, like phosphophyllite, is considered among gemology nerds mineral collectors to be a beautiful mineral that would make for great jewelry...if it wasn’t so rare and brittle. Both of them also have names that reference their brittleness--euclase means “easily broken” and the -phyll part of phosphophyllite references its perfect cleavage.

Since many of the gems have one or more aspects of their characterizations based on the physical properties and/or cultural associations of their minerals, and since breakage is a major motif of the work, I think there’s probably significance to the fact that Ichikawa decided to make a gem so thoroughly associated with brittleness into a major character. That’s how it is with Phos anyway. To paraphrase a bit, Ichikawa said in this interview that phosphophyllite’s much lauded beauty and rarity juxtaposed against its unsuitability as jewelry was the inspiration behind Phos as a character being bold yet perpetually ineffectual (and of course very, very breakable, both literally and figuratively.)

So, this character, who is shaping up to be an antagonistic(?) force has a similar—and thematically relevant—existential condition to our protagonist, and they deal with it in a strikingly different way. It’s a bit early to say where this element of the story is going to lead, but it’s worth keeping an eye on.

As I’m typing this, I’m starting to wonder if the reason why Euclase misinterpreted Phos’s words in chapter 70 as insecurity about their hardness is because Euclase themselves is insecure about their brittleness. In fact, that might also be the reason why they didn’t show themselves in chapter 70 until everyone was down and out, and why their overall plan involved shooting first and asking questions later. The chance of breaking and showing weakness—either literally or figuratively—isn’t one they want to take, even at the cost of a lot of casualties/toxic mercury spills. Additionally, when the Lunarians reported that they observed no changes in the earth gems’ behavior, Padparadscha comments that it seems like something Euclase would do, and doesn’t elaborate any further. I think this aspect of their character is what Padparadscha was getting at, that Euclase is loath to show weakness, and goes to great pains to never be the first one to blink.

Going back to chapter 8, they also talk about how the gems’ immortality predisposes them to be ignorant of danger, and how they somewhat envy the bugs and plants that can react promptly to changing stimuli. At that point in the story, it just seemed like one wistful observation on immortality among many, but looking back on it, it may have been just as much a window into Euclase’s anxieties as that line about their brittleness right after. For someone who wants to organize the world around them and dislikes uncertainty, it must be frustrating for them to imagine that some inherent aspect of their nature predisposes them towards ignorance.

To pull back a bit, I imagine that the point of making statistics Euclase’s beloved hobby is to help set them up as a foil to Phos. It’s a way to allow them insight into the flawed and tenuous nature of their society and their own existence without having them actually go out into the wide world to experience those answers for themselves like Phos does, since they’re not the type who’s willing to take risks. So unlike say, Melon or Hemi, they’re not wallowing in their comfortable yet stagnant existence because they’re willfully ignorant and simply don’t want to inconvenience themselves. Instead, they’ve spent their life running cost-benefit analyses and have come to the conclusion that they should maintain the status-quo to the best of their ability and avoid putting themselves out there. It may seem like a distinction without a difference, but I think that’s what Ichikawa is going for. Not to mention, it’d be kind of lame if everyone who decided to go against Phos and stay on earth was doing so out of incurious stubbornness or simple concern about the logistics of Phos’s plan. For one of the gems to oppose Phos due to irreconcilable differences in worldview seems a bit more meaningful to me.

So, the core of the conflict between Phos and Euclase is that Phos finds value in risking failure as a means to finding something better, while Euclase believes that if they can simply play the system forever, they’ll never have to reap the negative consequences said system doles out. This kind of goes without saying, but I don’t think the narrative is going to side with them in the end; looking at the story as a whole, I doubt that “If you keep your head down and play your cards right, you’ll be able to avoid suffering,” is a conclusion it wants to reach.

But much like the rest of the cast, Phos has forced Euclase to change. See, as much as they like to control the environment around them, they don’t like to let on that they’re doing so. To me, their blurb on this page indicates that the reason they stick to Jade and subtly direct their actions is because it allows them to micromanage everything to their heart’s content while letting someone else take on the nominal position of authority and all the attention and responsibility that comes with it.

But now that Kongou has ceded power, Euclase doesn’t have the luxury of pretending to be middle management anymore. Since no one else was willing to step up to the plate, they had no choice but to do so. And now that the gems are split in two, Euclase has been forced to publicly stand for something. Even if they’re trying to mitigate possible risks, they’re still operating well outside their comfort zone, and given that this manga is a veritable meat-grinder, it’s only going to get harder for Euclase to keep their world in order.

To sum it all up: yes, Euclase is a snake. But they’re, like, a complicated snake. A snake whose character flaws spring forth from very real insecurities. A snake who just wants to spend their days lounging on a comfy heating pad without having to worry about Actual Chaos Elemental Phosphophyllite mucking everything up.

(Ichikawa please validate my interpretation or else I’ll become Boo-boo the Fool.)

Anyway, Euclase isn’t the only character insecure about their brittleness…

Naturally, I continue to have thoughts regarding The Artist Formerly Known as Craigory. There are times where I wish I had gotten attached to a more respectable character, but honestly where’s the fun in that? I stan disasters!

I mentioned in my last write-up that the glove Cairngorm is now wearing over their left arm pretty blatantly displays their desire to cover up the part of themselves that’s prone to breaking, both metaphorically and literally. But after some thought, I’ve realized that their entire wardrobe is full of AnxietyTM. Here’s a few of my observations.

They started off their foray with avant-garde moon lingerie with a small transparent shawl which has, a month later, become a full-body veil. It seems to me, on a purely visually symbolic level, reminiscent of their situation with Ghost. Like, if I were Ichikawa, and I were looking for a way to symbolize their existential plight in clothing form, that’s how I’d do it. If I were to try to decode the meaning behind the evocative imagery, it’d be this: they’ve become trapped again, and are still being blocked from the freedom and the engagement with the world that they desire—symbolically in the sense that they’re interacting with the world through a veil, and literally in the sense that Aechmea seems to be, uh…strongly discouraging them from leaving their room, or doing things in general.

Cairn, please love yourself and get as far away from this creep as possible; I’ve got a sinking feeling that he’s going to cash in all those red flags he’s been setting off sooner rather than later.

Then there’s the matter of Cairngorm’s ongoing quest to find the Worst pair of shoes. See, Cairn started their love affair with terrible shoes long before chapter 68.

They’re not as ostentatious as say, the banana-peel crocs but…I mean look at them. These may as well be pointe shoes. Anyway, comparing these with their more recent…shoe decisions, I can’t help but think they might be a bit insecure about their height? (And in case any of you guys didn’t see it, this omake explicitly spells out that they’re shorter than the other gems.)

Even though they’re at most a couple centimeters shorter than the others, they seriously overcompensate for it. I think that for them, the slight difference in height is a painful reminder that they’re not fully formed like the others are, which has lead them down the path of…dreamfoam platform high-tops.

Getting back to the glove, chapter 44 contained a lot of subtext that indicated that they’re insecure about their finicky arm, and possibly about their finicky inclusions in general. The whole buildup to Phos’s head being stolen is full of dumbass decisions from both of these clowns, but on Cairn’s side, they contributed to the whole fiasco by hiding the fact that their arm had been strained past its limit, and insisting on taking down the vessel alone in spite of that fact. I’ve talked a bit before about how embracing or rejecting one’s weakness and impermanence is a major motif of this series, so the fact that Cairngorm consistently tries to hide the part of themselves that keeps breaking is…noteworthy, as is the fact that their most obvious attempt to do so in chapter 44 ended very badly.

Which got me thinking, what if that’s also why they started wearing long sleeves? It might be possible that the long sleeves on their winter uniform served the same purpose the glove does now--to cover up their left arm. We saw their bare arms in chapters 68 and 69 and it looked fine then, but what if, say, fractures appear on their left arm on a regular basis, and they wore long sleeves in order to cover it up?

To sum it all up, the aspects of themselves that set them apart from the other gems are all things that they subtly act like they’re ashamed of, and their choice of clothing reflects this.

I’ve already made a couple of posts about the cover of Pseudomorph of Love, but I felt like staring at it again and reporting my additional findings.

Something I noticed is that while the other characters’ broken pieces are placed right next to themselves, Phos’s pieces are scattered over the entire cover, usually lying on top of one or more of the other gems. I have circled them here, with my peerless image editing skills.

If I were to take a guess at what this visual symbolism is trying to say, I’d say it’s that by changing and breaking, Phos leaves an impact on others. At their very best, I think Phos breaks other people out of their bad habits and learned helplessness. As Phos rushes forward, they also drag others out of their personal hells, sometimes intentionally, sometimes inadvertently. Needless to say, they don’t always live up to these ideals, but that’s the general direction they’re headed in.

(Hey guys, do you think the fact that Phos’s hand is caressing their own face is foreshadowing that one day they will let go of their self loathing and learn to love themselves? Because I want that to be the case.)

Oh, and Cairn is indeed missing The Left Arm of Conspicuous Foreshadowing here too. The break is even at the same angle. If it turns out that nothing else happens to that arm for the rest of the story then I’m going to be so embarrassed because I have gone full pepe silvia over it.

Pictured here is Ichikawa making me cry by sneaking the foot Antarc left behind into the illustration.

The only other gem whose parts have managed to travel across the cover is Dia, whose hand is next to Bort. And I’m sure that it’s Dia’s because it’s a right hand and Euclase’s right half is blue in this illustration, and it can’t be Antarc’s either because all of Anatarc’s pieces are overlayed with a shimmery, watery reflection. Make of it what you will.

At this point, I’m going to take off my literary hat and put on my middle school geology phase hat. Bort, how can I possibly bless your marriage to Cinnabar if I’m not sure what arbitrary classification of diamond you fall into?

So, bort is a rather ambiguous term, and can refer to basically any diamond that isn’t fit to be used as jewelry. But Bort the character is not so non-specific. They’re supposed to be an aggregate of microcrystalline diamonds, and the thing is, microcrystalline diamond aggregates are considered notable enough that they get their own names. So while the term ‘bort’ does encompass these specimens, it’s a bit imprecise.

Microcrystalline diamond aggregates can be roughly grouped into four different varieties: framesite/stewartite, ballas, carbonado, and yakutite.

Ballas, also known as shot bort, are microcrystalline diamonds with a radiating, fibrous habit that form spheres of various sizes. Despite being opaque, it sometimes displays a pearly luster depending on how heavily included a given specimen is. It ranges in color from white to gray to black.

Framesite is the name applied to most granular-to-microcrystalline diamond aggregates. It's usually black but I couldn’t find an exhaustive list of colors. Stewartite is the term for framesite that’s been magnetized as a result of magnetite intergrowths and inclusions.

Carbonado is the toughest and most mysterious form of diamond. No one knows how the hell it forms, and theories about its formation range from the transformation of irradiated hydrocarbons to supernova-genesis. These rocks are a hodgepodge of diamonds, graphite, and amorphous carbon. Carbonado is very porous and its component crystals are of a much smaller grain than either ballas or framesite. It is also further distinguished from its fellow diamond aggregates by a melt-like glassy patina that coats its surface. While most are just black, they come in a wider range of colors than other microcrystalline diamonds, including grey, red, brown or even some weirder colors like green, purple, and pink. There’s also some evidence that suggests it’s slightly harder than normal diamonds—at the very least, many a diamond-tipped sawblade has been ruined trying to cut into carbonado.

Yakutite is named for the location in Russia where it is found. It is characterized by its numerous lonsdaleite inclusions, and since it’s found in rocks that have undergone shock metamorphism, it is thought that yakutite forms via meteor impacts. So, this is pretty much the only variety of microcrystalline diamond we can rule out since I’m not seeing any meteor craters on the island.

At first I was thinking that since the inside of their hair is brownish red, and carbonado is the only one that comes in that color, they must be carbonado; problem solved!

But then I realized that the inside of Bort’s hair has never been colored that way in the manga, only the anime. In colored illustrations, the inside of their hair is iridescent like Dia’s, but with much more muted colors, so that it looks more like an oil slick or something and less like a rainbow. That could be an artistic representation of the glassy patina of carbonado, but it might also be the pearly layers of ballas. Framesite on the other hand is more likely to have a completely dull luster than either ballas or carbonado, so…one point against framesite I guess

One thing that indicates they might be ballas is how their mineral is represented in both the episode 10 eyecatch and in one of Ichikawa’s illustrations. The bort represented in these images has the spherical shape of ballas.

The most compelling argument for Bort being made of framesite is the fact that out of all the options here, framesite is the most likely to be referred to as simply ‘bort.’ Several sources I’ve looked at listed framesite and stewartite as being obsolete names for what is normally just called bort these days. This comes with a big caveat though.

While the scientific names of minerals are widely agreed upon and are consistent cross-linguistically, unofficial trade names are...not. For example, our Padparadscha probably wouldn’t meet the GIA’s standard for padparadscha sapphire on account of the fact that they’re pinkish-red with a bit of orange and a somewhat dark shade, rather than the GIA’s narrowly defined pastel salmon coloration. But despite the GIA’s current standard on what counts as padparadscha, they’d still meet the criteria for padparadscha found in historical literature on account of being a hunk of corundum that’s vaguely orange-looking. There are other gems in this series who exist in this gray area, but this post is getting pretty damn long so I’ll spare you poor readers the details.

What I’m getting at here is that if you look at the Japanese Wikipedia page for carbonado, bort is listed as a synonym. So even though they’re not typically used interchangeably in English, it looks like that’s not the case in Japanese. In fact, last spring this geology museum did an hnk themed event, and the rock they used to represent Bort was a hunk of carbonado, and this tweet they put out treats bort and carbonado as synonyms.

In carbonado’s corner, there’s Bort’s fight with Ventricosus. During said fight, chunks of their hair melted off from Ventri’s acid. But here’s the thing though: diamonds can’t be dissolved by acid, no matter how strong that acid is. If we generously assume that Bort losing some of their hair isn’t just a plot hole, then it may point to them being carbonado, since the graphite and amorphous carbon packed into carbonado is readily soluble in acid.

In conclusion, there is no answer and I’m slowly going insane. My mind is all out of Bort license plates. I’m leaning towards carbonado because of Bort’s galling lack of acid resistance and also because I think carbonado is a pretty cool rock.

Putting on my literary hat once again, I can’t help but wonder if the reason why Ichikawa went with the ambiguous bort over the other possible names was because of its etymology, which comes from the Anglo-Saxon gebrot, meaning fragment which is in turn derived from breótan, ‘to break.’ (A related cognate from Middle English is brotel, which became brittle in modern English.) Its cognates in other Germanic languages all seem to have meanings along the lines of ‘a break,’ ‘a rupture,’ or ‘a fracture.’ Another possible source of bort is the Old Norse brotna, meaning break. -Brot also shows up in a few other Old Norse words like Skipsbrot—shipwreck, Haugebrot—the destruction of a grave, and ísabrot, meaning oh-god-someone-please-take-my-dictionary-away-from-my-sinful-hands.

Ahem,

Out of all the possible names Bort could have had, they got one that references brokenness. I realize that this probably isn’t intentional symbolism, and I’m just shoving my interest in linguistics where it doesn’t belong, but I do think it’s a nice bit of serendipity nonetheless.

Okay, I promised you guys a galaxy-brained snail crack theory, so here goes: I’ve mentioned before that Variegatus seems to share a lot of parallels with baby!Phos, and that her name, which means multi-colored, could be said to describe Phos’s current state of being. It seems pretty clear that, on a metaphorical level, she’s connected to Phos. Well, what if that metaphor was literal, and ~somehow~ the inclusions from Phos’s arms and legs which were lost at sea ended up reborn as Variegatus, and that’s why she’s so Phos-like. The idea seems pretty absurd, but it wouldn’t be the first time Ichikawa has used someone’s body parts becoming their own sentient person as a plot device.

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #*slams my face into an anglo saxon dictionary* will this help me understand hnk?

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al-damnvers-spam · 5 years

Text

New Fic!

Yeah, I know. “But, Annette, you have another fic to update!” Yeah, and it’s getting updated tomorrow probably. But had this idea and COULD NOT get it out of my head. TW because it’s post-apocalyptic/war stuff and there’s probably gonna be talk of death and things like that (though I don’t intend on killing anyone off). This is also on AO3, btw.

It had been so long since the war began that no one really remembered why it had happened in the first place. All Waverly Earp remembered was her sister being dragged off five years ago. During the war, it had been unsafe to go out for long periods of time. If you left your home for more than an hour, there was a good chance you’d either be sent to fight or killed. They called it the War of Destruction for a reason. So, Waverly decided to bide her time before going to look for her sister. She’d never find her if she died along the way.

The war had just ended a few months ago, and society was trying to rebuild itself. Waverly was stocking up on provisions to begin her journey. It became routine for her, to go out and find food, scraps of abandoned objects, anything she could find to help her. She went out twice a day, at five o’clock in the morning and nine o’clock at night. Those times were safest, since police were patrolling the streets by day. The rest of the day, she spent researching everything she could. She had piles of old newspapers, books published just before the fighting began, scrapbooks of papers and documents she’d collected that belonged to her sister. Her routine changed, however, one June evening as she was preparing to go out.

Waverly lived in her family's abandoned homestead. She'd been living by herself since her aunt Gus had left in search of supplies a year ago and never returned. She sat in her sister's old bedroom, reading something, when she heard a crash and the breaking of glass downstairs. Without hesitation, she grabbed a shotgun she kept by her side and crept down the stairs. What she found was someone climbing in through the now broken window.

“Put your hands up, drop your weapon!” Waverly shouted, pointing her gun out in front of her. The figure- a woman, she could now tell- spun to face her and immediately dropped her pistol in surrender.

“I'm not going to hurt you.” The woman said calmly, keeping her hands up as Waverly stepped closer.

“Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my house?”

“I'm sorry, I thought no one lived here. I was just looking for a place to hide, I swear--”

“Why should I trust you? You're wearing an army uniform. How do I know you're not one of them, coming to take me away like you did to my sister?”

“Your sister?” The woman frowned slightly. “They captured me just before the war ended. I fought on the front lines for maybe a month, against my will, before I escaped. I'm not one of them.”

Waverly frowned slightly and lowered her gun a little. “What's your name?” She asked.

“Haught. Nicole Haught.” The woman replied, carefully lowering her hands to pull off her ID tags. “See? It says so right there.”

Waverly took them and examined them quickly. The woman's name was imprinted on them, along with a symbol to indicate she'd been captured and sent back out to fight. She wasn't lying. Waverly handed them back and set her gun down.

“Well, then. Nicole Haught. Nice to meet you, I guess. I'm Waverly Earp.”

Nicole nodded, putting her hands down. “Good to meet you, Waverly.”

Waverly frowned. She knew those words were just pleasantries. After the war began ruining the planet, it was never “nice” or “good” to meet anyone new. Even if you thought you could trust them, you had to be wary. No one was trustworthy. Still, something compelled her to let Nicole stay.

“How old are you?” She asked.

“Me? Twenty-seven.”

Waverly winced at that. Her sister was only a year or two older than that.

“I’m twenty-four.” Waverly replied, hesitating before pulling out the locket. “Would you, by any chance, have seen this woman?” She opened the locket and pointed to the picture of a young woman. Nicole frowned slightly, examining it.

“She looks… vaguely familiar.” More than vaguely, but she wasn’t sure how quickly she should admit it. “What’s her name? That might help.”

“Wynonna Earp.”

“Your sister, I’m guessing?”

“Yes.” Waverly’s eyes scanned across Nicole’s face and she noticed a look of recognition on the redhead’s features. “What is it? Have you seen her?”

“Yes, but only a couple of times.” A half lie, this time.

“How recently? Do you know where she is?” Waverly demanded, the edge back in her voice.

“She was in the army when I got there. She’d been there awhile already. Then, a week or so before the final battle… she disappeared. Never saw her again.” This part, at least, was the truth. Nicole hadn’t seen her since that night so many months ago.

“She’s alive, then.” Waverly said. It wasn’t a question. If she had reason to believe Wynonna was alive, then she would never think of it as a question. Until proven otherwise, Wynonna was alive.

“She could be.”

“She is.” Waverly said firmly. There was a long pause before she spoke again. “You’re going to help me find her.”

“Am I?” Nicole asked with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t recall signing up for that. What’s in it for me? If you think I’m going to risk my life without any compensation, you’re crazy.”

“Look, I’m the brains of this whole operation, but I need some brawn. Not to mention, you’ve got a uniform and tags. That’ll help us get into places that we can’t as regular citizens.”

“Or, it’ll make us stick out like a sore thumb. The war is over. The army doesn’t get the same treatment anymore.”

“True. But if Wynonna was in the army like you said, then we can find her through the army. There’ll be clues, at least.” Waverly paused, knowing Nicole was right. There certainly wasn’t much in it for her. And, in a world that was nothing more than a desolate landscape of crumbling buildings and very little hope, she needed a promise.

“First of all, you can stay here with me while I finish making preparations and doing my research. I have months worth of food here, along with clean water. You’ll be safe here, too. You’re the first person that’s stumbled upon this place in over a month. There’s no one else out here.” She could sense Nicole starting to consider it, so she continued. “If you do this for me, I’ll owe you. Anything you want. Everyone has leftover business they want done since the war, justices they want served. If you help me find my sister, I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

“Even break someone out of prison?”

“What?”

“A prisoner of war, really. A friend of mine was unjustly taken from us as a prisoner of war. I know where he is and I know how to get him out, I just need help. And you, I think, are perfect for the job.”

Waverly was silent for a moment, letting it sink in. She didn’t really trust Nicole, but this was the only chance she might get to find her sister. After taking a deep breath, she nodded.

“Okay. It’s a deal.”

#Wynonna earp #wayhaught #Waverly earp #nicole haught #new fic

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davidcarner · 6 years

Text

Reassigned Ch 3, Ballerina

A/N: *peeks around protective barrier* Is it safe? My beta reader threatened to get on a plane, and come find me after that last chapter…I apologize for the fluffhanger (whoever the guest was that left that, give yourself a pat on the back, that was awesome!) (And btw I love all the reviewers, but some of you guest ones have had some great ones, so thank you!) So now what? Now Chuck is Chuck, that's what…I give you Reassigned, Ch. 3, Ballerina

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, and my wife told me those pregnancy hormones can do the weirdest things to people.

She knew it was coming, but she didn't think it would be this soon. This sucked so bad, but she had to. She took a deep breath and faced the inevitable. She took another sip of the coffee and made a face. She really wasn't sure why she was even drinking it now that it was decaffeinated. She poured it down the drain and felt like it was a symbol of her life the past twelve hours.

She huffed out a breath, and looked around the dark apartment. She had barely slept a wink last night, and she had no idea what to say to her neighbors. Would they even want her around, would they even want to see her? Should she move? Could she move? Was it a step in the right direction in life that she even cared what they thought? She was about to enter a phase of self-pity she didn't know existed when she heard something. The door was being unlocked. Someone was breaking into her place. She grinned, an evil grin. Some burglar had picked the wrong apartment to break into. The lights were all off inside, and she saw the form enter, with the daylight behind the form, all hunched over, trying not to make a noise. He carried a bag. Oh, he was going to get it, and she was going to enjoy this. He cautiously set his bag on the table, as she pounced. She wasn't worried about the baby, she protected herself in the attack. This was going to be quick and painless…well for her. For him…at least a separated shoulder.

"AHHHH!" he yelled as she tackled him, and she thought she knew that voice, though not quite that high up on the vocal registry.

"Chuck?" she said, trying to untangle herself from him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he blurted out. "I know you said you wanted to be alone, but I also was supposed to bring you chocolate croissants for breakfast, and I wasn't sure who not to listen to, Sarah Walker ex-CIA agent, or Sarah Walker, pregnant woman, but now I realized you are actually Sarah Walker still a pregnant ninja."

"Breathe, Chuck," she said. "Are you okay?" She had forgotten she had given him a key last night before everything went sideways. He said he wasn't sure leaving food outside her door was a good idea, so she gave him a key to her apartment so he could leave the food. She thought it would be a good idea, giving the key to a neighbor she trusted, and she trusted Chuck. Chuck had offered her a key to his place and she smirked that she didn't need one if she really needed to get in. The look on Chuck's face was priceless.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to…I was going to say frighten you, but it's obvious I didn't," he said, in a voice that she couldn't really describe. How did she think he would be after she had pushed him away last night?

"It's fine, I'm sorry, I haven't slept," she began.

"You should get some sleep, the baby," he began, putting his hands on her shoulders. He saw the raised eyebrow and the amused smile and realized he was probably overstepping his bounds. She silently berated herself. All he was trying to do was help. "You know what, I'm gonna go," he said, and turned to go, when he felt her hand grab his. He looked down at it. "I'm sorry, Sarah, this is none of my business."

"Now what happened to helping me?" she asked, scared she knew the answer. Scared that because he knew the baby was Bryce's he wouldn't want anything to do with her. Scared because old habits had taken over the night before she had pushed him away. All she wanted to do was pull him close, but his body language didn't suggest that was what he wanted.

"I'm pretty sure you don't need anyone's help," he said softly. It wasn't a shot, it was what he realized after last night. She shook her head.

"Chuck, there are a lot of things, I can do on my own, but this, I could use any and all help from those I trust," she said. He stared at her, and then gently squeezed her hand. There was a look on his face she couldn't decipher.

"Get some rest, I have to go in, unless there's something here you need me to do," he said. She shook her head. "Get some sleep, we can talk later."

"Chuck," she began.

"Sarah, I have really got to get to work, I promise, we will talk," he said. She nodded as she watched him leave. She looked up at the ceiling. Bryce, what the hell have you done?

-ooooo-

"Late night with your lady friend?" Morgan asked, Chuck, who was staring at nothing. Chuck gave him a look and didn't say anything. "Oh, I get it, you are a gentleman who tells nothing, and I respect that, unless of course you want to tell, and then I will gladly listen to everything!"

"Morgan, not now, Buddy," Chuck said softly.

"Hey, Chuck, what's wrong?" Morgan asked.

"Nothing, everything, it's just my life needs to change," Chuck began.

"Okay, what has Yuko Ono done?" Morgan asked. "She's been here a few days and suddenly you want to leave this?" he said, arms spread wide. Chuck looked out, saw Jeff trying to leer at some soccer moms, Anna chewing gum, looking bored, all while a customer attempted to talk to her, and Lester placing strategic mirrors on the ground for when women walked over them he could see up their skirts.

"Yes, I do," Chuck said. "There's more to life than this."

"Chuck, you got hurt out there," Morgan said. Chuck stared at him. He knew Morgan meant well, but it was time to grow.

"Morgan, I lived out there," Chuck replied. Morgan stared at him, shook his head, and walked away, leaving Chuck alone. He was left to his thoughts, which immediately went back to last night.

No sooner than Sarah had told him she knew Bryce, and Chuck figured out Bryce was the father, Sarah was on the phone to someone in Washington, DC. Sarah told Chuck she needed him NOT to open the email, and to shut down and unhook the computer. He took the computer over to Sarah's where the two of them stayed until a team arrived to secure the computer. Ellie showed up to ask what happened, and Sarah told her everything, which surprised Chuck, but given his and Sarah's talk earlier that day, maybe it shouldn't have. Ellie gave Sarah a hug but the look Ellie shared with Chuck said they needed to talk. Ellie left, the cleanup crew came and went, and Chuck found himself in front of a TV he had installed himself, talking to the Director of the CIA. At one point, Chuck was almost positive he was about to be thrown into a deep, dark hole, and then Sarah saved him.

"Sir, I have been around Chuck and his family. There has been no attempted contact by Bryce, and I see no reason to believe Chuck is involved with this," Sarah said. Chuck gave her a grateful smile.

"If you'd just ask Bryce he'd tell you I have nothing to do with this," Chuck added, needing to say something, anything.

"We can't," Langston said, and then silently cursed himself. Sarah straightened, what had he done. "He's dead." Sarah felt a part of her go numb. She was done with him, so why would this matter to her? It did though, and Chuck sensed it. He turned to Sarah who waved him off as if to say she was fine, but how could she be fine? Chuck hated Bryce and he wasn't fine. That was the father of her child they were talking about being dead. "Mr. Bartowski, for the next few days, I need you to check in with Agent…Miss Walker," he said. The words were another gut punch to Sarah, reminding her, her days of being a field agent were over. This was a lot, too much, she nodded, but she found herself withdrawing, like the days of old.

"Okay," Chuck said. Langston disconnected the call. Chuck turned to her. "So I guess you're CIA," he said. Sarah nodded, distracted. "Sarah," he began.

"Chuck, I need some time," she said. Chuck nodded, turned, and walked out the door. She wanted to chase after him. To have him hold her. Bryce's death shouldn't have affected her, but it did. He didn't know any of this though, all he knew was she didn't want him around when she lost someone, and maybe they weren't as close as he thought they were.

"Everyone processes loss differently," he muttered to himself back in the present, as he watched the Buy More employees do what they did best, avoid work.

-ooooo-

Sarah checked the caller ID and prepared herself. "Walker, secure," she answered.

"Miss Walker, for the time being I'd like you to keep a constant watch on Bartowski," Graham said.

"Constant, sir?" she asked.

"Walker, for the next week, unless he's in the bathroom, I want you watching him," Graham said. "I don't know if anyone else is looking for him, I don't know if Larkin had a partner. I don't know if someone is after Bartowski, but I want you to protect him."

"Sir, Chuck is a social butterfly, he'll never stay home for a week," Sarah said.

"That's actually not a problem," Graham said. "If he's out and about, we can draw out anyone that is following him, you could contact a team at the substation to counteract any trail team that might be on him. Again, we don't know if anyone is after him, but to draw them out is the best option, otherwise…."

"He might have to go away for a while," Sarah said, sighing.

"Correct," Graham said.

"Then I need to go get him, Sir," she said.

"Where is he?" Graham asked.

"He's at work, Sir," Sarah replied.

"I'll make sure he's assigned to you for the next week, and if we see a need for longer, I will take care of it," he said, and hung up. Sarah rushed out the door.

-ooooo-

Sarah walked into the Buy More, already hearing Big Mike yelling. Sarah saw Chuck sitting at the Nerd Herd desk, writing, drawing, or doodling something. He looked down. That first day in the courtyard he had been down but not like right now. She needed to fix this. She was telling herself she needed to fix this so he would trust her since she needed to be around him this week. What she really needed to do was fix this because he was a good guy, and a friend. Anything more than that she didn't dare think or assume. She wasn't even sure if he would be interested in anything more. She was going to fix this. If she was going to have a real life, it was time she started making real life decisions.

Chuck looked up from his writing. He was thinking about what he could do with his life, considering he had no degree, got kicked out of college for something he didn't do, and had basically been exiled to the Buy More for the last five years. He had been jotting ideas, and he had the structure of one. He could start his own computer consulting firm. He could start out as in repair and IT Security, with the intent to move it to the field of Computer System Analyst and IT Security. His worry though, how long would it take him to get it up and running and to become profitable. He'd have to keep working at the Buy More to make this work. Why did he suddenly care? Because maybe for the first time, in a long time, since Stanford, he felt like there was hope. He saw her, she looked tired, really tired. He stood up as she came toward him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern on his face.

"Yeah, why?" she replied. He started to ask, and he seemed to be holding his tongue. "Chuck, it's okay, talk to me."

"You just look really tired, and you know," he said, softly.

"I'm pregnant," she said in a normal voice. "It's going to show at some point, and I don't really care what the Buy More thinks." He smiled at her. He started to say something when he was cut off.

"Excuse me, I filmed my daughter's dance recital," a frantic father said. "My wife couldn't attend and I was going to set the camera up for her to watch it, but I can't find the recital anywhere."

"Oh boy," Chuck muttered. "I'm gonna need a second," Chuck said to Sarah. She grinned and nodded. "May I see the camera?" The father handed it to him and he looked at it. "Sir, where's the tape?"

"It's digital," the father explained. Morgan had walked by and was hearing what was going on.

"Morgan," Chuck said.

"The wall?" Morgan asked.

"The wall," Chuck said, grinning. They quickly set up and got the girl in place. Chuck bent down to talk to her. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I always stand in the back," she explained. "It's because my dance teacher said I'm too tall." Chuck grinned, and Sarah watched, intrigued.

"You want to know something," he said in a low voice to her. "Real ballerinas are tall."

Sarah felt something in her she didn't recognize. If she didn't have her orders to watch him, she probably would have run, but she had them, and she wanted a real life. A real life included real people, but was Chuck Bartowski real? Did he seriously have a plan set up for when every father who was supposed to be recording something messed up? If he was this way to a little girl he didn't know, how would he be around his own children? His own children. The words punched her in the stomach. This was Bryce's child….his enemy, if Chuck Bartowski had an enemy. Knowing him it wouldn't be an enemy, but something infinitely more nerdy, like Nemesis. She realized he was right beside her, watching the ballerina. Her spy self said to be quiet, let this go, but Sarah Walker the person, she wanted more, and it started by opening herself up.

"You're good with kids," she said softly.

"I'm a kid at heart, they relate well to me," he said, grinning. "Who knows, that could be your daughter one day."

"Mine and Bryce's," she said softly. Chuck looked at her for a moment, studied her.

"You think I don't want to help because it's Bryce's?" he asked. She stared straight ahead, not daring to answer, watching the ballerina. "Two things, Sarah. One, that baby now doesn't even have a living father. Two, that baby didn't ask to come into this world and hasn't done anything to anyone. I figure as long as the baby is loved, it's got a chance, but if the baby is treated a certain way because of who his father is, well, the baby doesn't have a chance, and that's just wrong." She continued to stare straight ahead, but her hand grabbed his and squeezed it. "I gotta make sure we have two other copies being made, dad's can screw some things up," he said grinning, and then paused. "We're okay, right?" She looked at him. We? She nodded. We. She could work with that.

-ooooo-

"So for the next seven days," Chuck began.

"Minimum seven, could be more," she said.

"I'm to be with you?" he asked. "In the same apartment?" She nodded. "In the same room?" She nodded again. His face got pale. "Uh, every room?" Sarah laughed.

"No, Chuck, you get to go to the little boys room by yourself," Sarah said. Chuck still looked concerned. "What is wrong now?"

"Uh, sleeping," he said.

"I like to with my eyes closed," she said. Chuck stared at her a second and grinned. "I have a large bed that should easily fit us, and I don't hog the covers."

"Uh, Ellie," Chuck said.

"I don't really think there's room for Ellie," Sarah replied. Chuck gave her a flat look. "Chuck we're two grown adults."

"Sarah, you don't understand," Chuck said.

"I will talk to Ellie, tell her it's for your safety, and there's probably nothing to worry about. It's just a precautionary measure," Sarah said. Chuck put his head in his hands. "It can't be that bad."

"I'm going to need clothes," he muttered.

"You live next door, I'll carry the bag if it's too heavy," she said. He looked at her and shook his head.

"You aren't prepared for this," Chuck said.

"Chuck I'm a trained CIA agent," she replied. "I'm ready." Chuck just nodded and grinned.

"I'm going to enjoy this," he said, as he stood up, and headed toward his apartment, Sarah following him. Two hours later, with his bag packed he reentered Sarah's apartment.

"You were right," she said, somewhat in shellshock. "I wasn't ready."

"I don't think the baby's ears are formed yet, so the squeal didn't hurt them," Chuck said. Sarah glared at him. "Hey, I tried to warn you." She went and plopped on her couch.

"I don't understand," she said.

"Oh, you don't?" he asked. "You do know, you're kinda a catch, right?" She rolled her eyes. "Sarah, she's crazy about you, and if she could get the two of us hooked up…." Chuck trailed off, chuckling and taking a drink of water from the bottle.

"Hooked up?" Sarah said, grinning. Chuck choked on the water.

"Sorry," he said, trying to clean up the water he spit up. "I didn't mean..well…you know…."

"Sex," Sarah said. "It's okay, Chuck I'm aware of it."

"That's probably good, given you're pregnant," he said. Chuck was worried he had said too much but she burst out laughing. "What I'm saying is if we were dating, Ellie might squeal on a daily basis. Someone finally getting me out of my funk, plus it was you." Chuck grinned.

"You know you're a bit of a catch yourself," she said. Chuck started to say something, but stopped. "What?" He shook his head.

"I need a shower if that's okay," he said.

"Yeah, towels are in the hall closet," she said. He nodded, got up and went to the bathroom. She heard the shower turn on, and went to the bedroom and changed. After she did, she turned down the covers and sat down on the bed. He came into the bed room and stopped, looking at her.

"I'm sorry," he said. "For five years, I've been blaming Bryce Larkin for a lot of things, but I've been wrong. There are things he did, and those things at Stanford are on him, but everything else, that's on me, and it may take me a bit to get rid of those thoughts, so if you can be patient with me, I'm going to do my best to quit blaming anyone else for my problems." She smiled at him.

"Bryce was a real ass," Sarah said. Chuck laughed out loud.

"Yeah, he was," Chuck said. "But, he was, at one time, my best friend, a good guy, and charming as can be."

"Yes, he was," Sarah agreed. "But he began to worry about himself more than anyone else. He put himself first."

"Did he know?" Chuck asked. "About the baby?"

"No," Sarah said. "Even if he did, there was no more us. I doubt he would have even wanted to have parental rights." She bounced a shoulder. "I hate how this happened, but I don't think he would ever have had anything to do with his child."

"Does that bother you?" Chuck asked. Sarah thought for a minute.

"I think it bothers me more that he will never get the chance to know his child," she admitted. She patted the bed beside herself. Chuck sat down.

"Ellie is so hoping something is happening over here," Chuck said.

"Something is happening over here," she said, grinning. "I got a friend I can trust, and I don't know if I could ever say that before." Chuck took her hand. "You trust me, Chuck?" Chuck grinned at her.

"Yes, Sarah, I do," he said.

-ooooo-

Chuck woke, having one of the best night's sleep he had ever had. He felt warm and cozy, especially on his left side. He turned his head in that direction and saw two sleepy eyes studying him. "Well, obviously the pregnancy has made me snuggle happy," she said. Chuck started to respond, but changed his mind.

"Obviously," he replied. "And I'm always looking to help out."

"You are good like that," she agreed. "So let's just say it's the baby's fault."

"Yep, absolutely, it's all the baby's fault," Chuck said, rolling his eyes. Sarah stared at him. "I mean, yes, it's the baby fault who's ….how far along?" Chuck asked.

"Eight weeks," Sarah said. "I found out really early because of the blood tests." Chuck nodded. "Hey, Chuck, I don't know Burbank real well, how about you show me around town."

"Sure," Chuck replied. "What would you like to do?" Sarah shrugged.

"I don't know," she said. "I wouldn't mind going to dinner, dancing, that kind of thing." Chuck looked at her. Her head was on his shoulder, and she was looking down at her hair. She was fiddling with the end of it.

"Sarah, are you asking me out?" he said. She looked at him and bounced a shoulder.

"I'm just saying we have to be together for me to watch you, we're friends, and you keep offering to help me," she said. "I mean, what would it hurt? I can pay if that's the problem."

"Nah, I'll pay, since I'm assuming the US government is paying Buy More for me," he said.

"Chuck, if it's a problem," she began.

"No, it's not, it sounds like fun, it's just," he trailed off.

"Not been on a date in a while?" she asked. He shook his head no. "Me either," she admitted. Chuck gave her a look. "You do know being on a date is not a prerequisite for sex?" He couldn't help but laugh. "The last date that wasn't me trying to seduce a mark was…"

"That long huh?" he asked. She smiled at him. "So, seduce?"

"Sometimes when info was needed, I would get a guy to take me out, and either get the information, or knock him out," she said. "I never have slept with mark."

"I wasn't implying," he began.

"I know, it's just," she sighed, and grinned. "You're inquisitive, Chuck, and sometimes you assume the worst."

"Sometimes?" he asked. "I would like to think it's the majority of the time." She laughed into his shoulder. "Can I be honest?" She nodded. "This is kinda nice, not having to worry about work."

"I do have to work," she said.

"No, I mean getting up and going in. Instead, I'm getting to have a conversation with someone whose company I enjoy," he said.

"Eh, you aight," she said. Chuck laughed.

"I need more than the Buy More, Sarah," he said. She looked at him.

"Tell you what, I've got a business degree, why don't you let me try and help you and we'll see if we can't get you out of the Buy More," she said.

"CIA gives out degrees?" he asked. She smirked at him.

"Harvard," she said. Chuck did a slow turn to look at her. She bounced a shoulder, and continued to smirk. She looked him in the eye. "What happened at Stanford?"

"All I know is I aced a test, Bryce framed me, and I got bounced," he said.

"You do know the CIA sometimes recruits from college campuses?" she asked. Chuck stared at her for a moment.

"Would getting kicked out of college get me off of the CIA's radar?" he asked. She nodded. "Guess I'll never know." She snuggled against him. "So the next six mornings?"

"Probably going to be snuggling just like this," she said.

"Guess you're in trouble after that," he said. Sarah smiled.

"Chuck, if I, excuse me, the baby, wants to snuggle bad enough, I can pop the Morgan door, slip into your bed, and be snuggled in seconds and there is nothing you can do," she said. Chuck grinned.

"Nothing, huh?" he asked.

"Nope, nothing," she replied.

"Well, since it's for the baby," he said. She snuggled into him.

"You're a good one, Chuck," she said. She had no idea what excuse she'd use after the baby, but maybe by then….She looked up at him. He looked so content. She wanted a real life, maybe, just maybe she had found it.

A/N: So true story, as I'm writing this, Yvonne is on Conan telling about how her husband made her nauseous, and it was a pregnancy hormone thing…I'm serious… Til next time…hope you enjoyed it! Reviews and PMs are always welcomed!

#Chuck #Sarah #Charah #Reassigned #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff

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supergirlimaginesfic-blog · 7 years

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Dating Lena Luthor (Everyday can be our Valentine’s)

Request: Prompt Lena x reader, the reader forgot it's Valentine's Day and Lena is mad because it's her first time celebrating valentines. So reader does a surprise romantic date night

a/n: Ahhhh this was so cute to do LOL. I was thinking about this all during work wondering wth I was gonna do with this!! Firstly, I don’t really think Lena would be angry, per se, so I switched this up just a tiny bit! There’s a funny little easter egg I put in here because I’m absolute katie trash, tell me if you find the Funny Joke. Thanks for reading btw y’all! You give me something to do lol. Requests are always open, and I’ll get to them hopefully every other day!

- - - - -

So maybe you were a little bit of an asshole. Actually, you are definitely the tiniest bit an asshole. You’re a good enough person, and you show basic human decency because you surely weren’t raised to be a farm animal with no manners. You’d even go so far as to say you care about people if they’re really hurting enough for you to feel compelled to get into that uncomfortable place of relating to them and having to comfort them.

You’re a bit rough around the edges, you’d admit it. You’ve had a grand total of 3 and a half arguably serious relationships in your very eventful, very promising life so far and it’s not like you were emotionally stunted for the entirety of them all, not really. Sometimes you’d admit you are a pretty emotionally constipated person - you lose track of your days as often as you lose track of your housekeys, and if someone asked you to retell something from last week, well, you’d let them know that frankly you don’t even remember what the last thing you ate was. But you knew how to make your girl smile and that’s what counted. You’re kinda good when it comes to the bigger stuff. That’s all that should matter, right?

When you walked into CatCo for work in the morning, you greeted everyone who’d spare a glance at you, even spent some time making small talk with some of your deskmates. There was a restlessness in the air that made you think people were even itching to talk to you. Everyone had seemed peppier today more than usual. That was surely a weird thing to note, even for a place like CatCo (especially for a place like CatCo). There was an abundance of flowers sitting on desks and because Miss Grant has a very vocal opinion-decreed-official-but-not-really-official-policy regarding cheap-smelling things in her offices, even when arguably flowers are the most natural scent in the world (how possibly can they be cheap?), all the bouquets and arrangements were relegated to a place by their desk inhabitant’s feet where they could be admired in relative peace.

For what it was worth, the place seemed more alive than it ever has been - not that Miss Grant was the worst person to work for, quite the contrary, everyone was just too intimidated or outright terrified of her that any semblance of fun was overpowered by the fear of messing something up. Miss Grant was nice, in her own quiet, borderline abrasive but never power hungry way. You could tolerate just one day of people being in a good mood.

You felt a slight gust of wind blow your way as you sat at your desk, and you really ought to think you should warn Kara about slowing down her speed just a notch more.

“Hi! (Y/N)! Golly it’s a great morning isn’t it. Oh, why aren’t you wearing red?”

“Kara, does it look like I own any coloured clothing other than black? Anyway, why would I?”

Kara’s eyes widen comically and she inhales sharply, and you almost dismiss it as another purely Kara Thing. You take note of her white pants and pink blazer, unbuttoned to reveal a simple white button up, and you grudgingly concede that this nerd always looks so stupidly cute.

Before you could get yourself irrationally angry at the multitude of Kara’s Preppy Looks, you wonder if Miss Grant has a special occasion that you didn’t get the memo for.

“Wait, is something happening today? Did Miss Grant finally acquire that small-town newspaper outside of Metropolis?”

Kara tilts her head at you, fully reminiscent of a confused child, and her eyebrow quirks ridiculously high up that it could disappear into her hairline.

“Hm, that’s not right. I would have heard about that one. I know she was saying how everyone should dress in red to symbolize the blood spilled of her competitors, but even that’s a bit much.” You say more to yourself than to Kara.

Kara opens and closes her mouth, and opens and closes it again seemingly at a loss to say something as she squints very severely at you. Your eyes widen marginally, taken aback by Kara’s silent assessment.

“Are you alright? Did I offend you or something?”

Kara’s jaw drops as she gasps indignantly. You were only half-kidding but you think you might as well have offended her unwittingly at some point in your very brief conversation.

“Seriously, are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“I really hope you’re joking.” Those words were startlingly ominous, and especially so coming from someone like Kara.

“What the hell do you even mean? Kara-”

Before you can ask any more of her, Cat Grant’s voice reverberates through the office. It’s impressive, considering she’s a good thirty feet away from you and inside an enclosed elevator when she speaks up.

“Keira, please tell me you found out who plastered that cheap Wal-Mart stock paper heart onto my window and that you have collected their resignation letter. Do not think that because I’m not here I don’t have eyes everywhere. I can practically smell the cheap scotch tape sticking eternally to my windows.”

“No DIY decor, already on it, Miss Grant. But don’t you think that’s a bit-”

Kara follows after Miss Grant, falling into step behind her rather impressively as Miss Grant hands off her coat to Kara and Kara hands her latte to her, balancing various papers, clothing, and a bag in her arms.

Why is everyone so weird.

You boot up your computer and check the messages on your phone while you wait. An unread message from Lena fills your screen.

Lena: “I can’t wait to see you tonight.”

You smile at your girlfriend’s simple text. You know it’s tired and not very fair to keep having presumptions of your girlfriend based solely on her career, but you can’t help it. She’s a softie and an absolute sucker for romance and you never would have suspected it - certainly not the first few times she’d spent the night at your place and she’d untangle her hair from her high bun, shucking off her heels and stripping off her CEO persona. It always mesmerized you, it still does, which is why you’re smiling at your phone like an absolute nerd at her easy vulnerability when it comes to you.

you: “I can’t wait to see your beautiful face, pretty lady ;) Don’t make my day any more difficult than it needs to be...”

You remember all too well the very incriminating texts that have recently bombarded your phone with startling frequency. Lena being her own boss certainly had its perks, and spending an awful amount of time sending suggestive messages and downright not-safe-for-work pictures certainly was a perk in itself.

You’d wondered how often anyone would see you looking around suspiciously with the biggest shit-eating grin on your face. It begged the curiosity of who knew you were practically sexting sometimes? You figured you were probably a bit obvious, Kara has spent her fair share of your shift grimacing and blushing furiously whenever you meet her eye. It’s strange because it’s not like part of her powers involves mind-reading, did it really not take a genius to figure you out? Maybe with her super hearing and- oh. That might explain a little bit. In fact, that might explain a lot. Gross. You are not going to broach that conversation with her.

Lena: “Hmmm, that’s no fun...”

You smirk down at your phone. It is far too early for this teasing bullshit, but Lena Luthor lives on her own time and the universal conventions of decency wait for no one, apparently.

Lena: “What if I’m in the mood to be bad?”

you: “I guess I’d have to teach you a lesson about what happens when you tease me all day”

Lena: “It’s settled, let’s call it a date.″

you: “you’d call anything we do a date, love LOL”

Lena: “Well then let’s make it extra special tonight ;)”

you: “looking forward to it, you big nerd”

You finally amend to put to your phone, seeing as though you spent a good few minutes flirting with your girlfriend instead of working. You figure even someone with as much money as Cat Grant wouldn’t appreciate you fooling around on company time.

“Ooooh, texting a fancy someone?” Winn’s voice comes from behind you as he swirls around to face you in his swivel chair.

“Yeah, weirdo.” You roll your eyes amused as Winn feigns hurt, but he continues nonetheless.

“Cool, you guys got any romantic plans tonight? Lena must be wicked excited.” He quirks his eyebrows suggestively, and you reach over to hit him on the arm hard enough to make him yelp.

“Gross. Even if we were I wouldn’t tell you anything.”

“Aww aren’t we superfriends? Don’t we go to share super secrets?”

“Definitely not of the bedroom variety.”

“Ah fine, I don’t think I want to know anyway. J’onn and Kara must try so hard to tune out all the adult stuff you and Lena get into whenever you guys are chilling at the DEO.”

You grimace and tune out whatever else Winn was about to say, “Oh god.”

“Really, you guys have no PG plans tonight? No extravagant displays of luxurious affection or cute date outings?”

“No, Winn. Why are you and Kara so interested in my life today anyway?”

Winn stares blankly at you before chuckling and turning back towards his computer. “Ah, ah okay! Sore topic. Sorry to pry. Just know I’m your pal, alright? You can tell me all the things.”

“Yes, rest assured, you are my pal, Winn.” You laugh despite yourself, shaking your head at your interaction.

You’d become quite busy the next few hours, all the bustle and general strangeness of the day wearing off as the remaining CatCo employees that stuck around waited until they could go home. You finally had a chance to lean back and check your phone’s notifications.

Lena: “When are you coming home? I miss you.”

you: “lol you’re so cute. Soon babe, don’t worry. Just a few things to finish up here. Are you done yet?”

Lena: “Yes, I managed to finish all that I needed today. I let Jess go early too, she’s got a cute date of her own.”

you: “oh man, no way! Is he cute? Is he worthy?? Is he an asshole? Do we need to threaten him?”

Lena: “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re more excited about Jess’ plans than ours. I’ve no clue, I merely assumed. Though she was acting particularly off today come to think of it.”

you: “you too eh? People were so weird today. More than they usually are. It must be a full moon.”

Lena: “I’ve no doubt that must be it. Tell me when you’re about to leave, darling. I’d very much like to get out of these restrictive clothes.”

you: “what? You won’t let me help you out??”

Lena: “If you take too long, you’ll regret far more than just that.”

Lena: “I will see you soon <3″

If you rushed to pack up a little quicker than you usually would and took off at a speed that could rival Kara’s, you’d never admit it to anyone. In your haste, you still managed to text Lena once you got into the packed streetcar and were notified that she was just on her way to yours from her apartment.

You had the chance to clean up your apartment a bit and get into your comfiest trackpants and your favourite hoodie when you heard knocking on your door. You opened the door and smiled as you opened your arms to your girlfriend. Lena immediately walked into your embrace and wrapped her arms around your middle, sighing happily as she did.

“You smell nice.”

“Thank you, I just got back from work.”

“And did work have half an army’s worth of perfume sprayed throughout the entire office to attract potential mates today?” She smirks as she makes her way around you to put her things away and make herself at home.

“I thought you said I smelled nice.”

“You do, I’m going to be stealing that sweater from you by the end of tonight.”

You chuckle at her nonchalance, “Naturally.”

She leans back on the back of your couch and crosses her arms easily. “Any hot plans for tonight?”

“You, me, and a box of pizza?”

“Make it two and you got yourself a deal.”

“Any other requests, beautiful?” You make your way slowly to Lena, eventually pinning her between your body and the couch. Your face is just inches away from hers and you can practically feel her next words against your skin.

“I was good today, need I remind you.”

“You were, actually.”

“What do I get for that?” She brings her lips close to yours and you can feel yourself being pulled for a kiss, but she doesn’t let you.

“Anything you want.”

“Oh, that’s dangerous.”

“Yeah, well, I want to make it all about you tonight.” You try again for a kiss, leaning in just too late as Lena brings herself away again. You grunt in mild frustration and she chuckles at your desperation.

“Are you sure? I see you’re getting a little impatient.”

Finally, she kisses you and you feel relieved. You’ve been waiting all day to be able to kiss your girlfriend. She’s the only sense of normalcy you have, no matter the absurdity that is your life or your individual circumstances. Her hands come up between your bodies as she latches onto the front of your shirt and tugs. Your hands come up to her hips and you push up against her lightly. You hear a soft groan from her lips and kiss it away.

You lose yourself in the kiss for however long you’ve been going at it, and she pulls herself away suddenly, leaving you moderately shocked at the abrupt loss of contact as she makes her way towards your kitchen.

“Let’s get Tony’s, I think I’m in the mood for a greasy cheesy-stuffed crust pizza.” She smirks as she takes in your indignant expression. You decide right then and there that, yes, in accordance to all science, religion, and all poetry that could be: Lena Luthor will be the death of you.

You call in your favourite pizza place and have two large greasy, cheesy-stuffed crust pizzas delivered to your door - one vegetarian for Lena (compromises, apparently), and one specialty butter chicken flavoured pizza that does an excellent job of tasting like it’s supposed to.

You’re the very definition of relaxed as you recline into your couch, Lena leaning into you as you wrap an arm around her. You both decided on one of the conspiracy theory documentaries on Netflix, deciding it was a good piece of relative garbage to consume.

Lena hums happily as she nuzzles into your side, taking a bit more of the blanket wrapped around you two as it uncovers a bit more of your legs.

You hear her mumbling from somewhere near your stomach, muffled by your sweater and the blanket and her general sleepiness. “Happy Valentine’s day.”

“What?”

There’s a long pause as you stare at Lena’s figure, no doubt with the intensity of burning into her skull if you had heat vision.

“I’m sorry, was that too weird? I shouldn’t have brought it up-”

“No...”

Lena finally turns her head to look at you questioningly. “What is it, love?”

You squint hard at the TV, the documentary long forgotten as you quickly run a reel of your entire day, pulling the brakes hard to a screeching halt when you put all the pieces together.

“Holy shit.” You mumble more to yourself than Lena.

“Babe, what’s wrong? Please, we can just forget about it-”

“No. No, no, no...”

“Oh my god, (Y/N), are you okay? Please talk to me.”

You sit up quickly, trying as best as you can to ease Lena off your lap as you continue to scratch at the surface of your struggling comprehension. You can’t believe yourself, you really can’t. You’ve certainly outdid yourself this time.

“I can’t believe it.”

Lena becomes increasingly alarmed at how upset you’re becoming and is at a loss for consoling you.

You finally look at her, an amalgamation of sadness, disappointment, and disbelief in your eyes. “Baby why didn’t you say anything?”

“I- I mean, I just did?”

“No, no way. This was supposed to be special.”

She looks at you, total confusion written on her face. “I’m sorry. I just thought- you didn’t bring it up? You hadn’t mentioned it all day and we haven’t really talked much about it, which is fair because that’s not really a thing one talks about in detail. I just thought you weren’t comfortable? I didn’t intend to upset you.”

“No, no baby that’s not it. I just- wow, I kinda suck. Aren’t you a little bit sad that I forgot?”

Lena’s lips quirk into a small smile. “Well, I mean I’ve never really had an official Valentine’s day so to speak. I would have liked to do something nice for you. But I wasn’t sure if you’d already made plans and I didn’t want to encroach on yours, and you didn’t give many hints about today at all so I thought maybe there was something else there. I didn’t want to bring it up if it was going to upset you.”

You click your tongue and lean across the couch to meet Lena halfway. You take her face in your hands and kiss her passionately. “You are too good for me, you know that?”

Lena smiles and kisses you again in between her words. “It’s okay, darling. As long as you remember my birthday.”

You pause in between your kisses, stopping as you stare almost cross-eyed into her eyes. The delayed reaction most certainly wasn’t going to help you. “Yeah, of course.”

She squints her eyes at you, backing away marginally so she can regard your entire face.

“You do remember when my birthday is, right?”

“How can I? You have like, three.”

She gasps in mock offense and begins to move away before you pull her back in, grinning at her reaction. You savour one last kiss before gently pulling yourself away and shaking your head. “Nope, I won’t have this. Get up.”

“What is it now?” She quirks her eyebrow at you quizzically, surely pondering what other nonsense you’ve come up with now.

“Get up baby, this is our date night.”

“I’d figured this night was, regardless of the calendar date?”

“Nope. Get your pretty little ass off that couch and help me, Luthor.”

Lena laughs as you take her in your arms and take her away from the couch. You pull the cushions off immediately and leave them in a heap on the floor as you take long strides toward your bedroom.

She calls after you from the living room. “Where on earth are you going? What are you even doing?”

You come back with various blankets and push them into her arms. Lena looks down at them questioningly and watches as you stack the cushions against the couch, taking care that they won’t fall.

Eventually, you’re satisfied with your work and you’ve made a tiny fort in front of your TV with the blankets and couch cushions. Lena smiles at you, bewildered and her expression just begging for an explanation.

You notice her look and cock your head to your creation. “Well then? Get in. You said you’ve never made one of these in your life, ever. Right?”

“Yes...” She’s still looking on with perplexity but crouches down to get into your fort. You follow happily behind her.

“Well, I fucked up, so I’m going to try and fix it.”

Your girlfriend looks at you with utter adoration, her eyes slightly wet with unshed tears. “You are truly something else, (Y/N).”

You smile at her and let her kiss you, closing your eyes in content as you bask in the love you have for Lena - the woman who came into your life and challenged everything you thought you knew, and then changed you for the better.

“I am sorry. I feel like absolute shit. I’ve never forgotten before and I...” Your words trail off, and she looks at you, encouraging and understanding. You find the resilience to continue. “I just, I don’t know how it’s escaped me. It’s like, lately it’s this simultaneous experience of my days blurring together and looking forward to each day, you know?”

Lena doesn’t answer, she simply nods and silently prods you to continue.

“It’s no excuse, I don’t want it to be. It’s just that, I’ve been so happy now. I am so happy, and that is all thanks to you. I lose track of my days because I’m not counting down anymore to some unmarked end or whatever, or waiting until the next greatest thing happens to me that makes me feel alive for a few minutes. I don’t need that anymore because it’s you. You are the best thing that’s happened to me, and I don’t need to count down anymore.”

You hear her sniffle and you wrap an arm around her, as best as you can attempt with the lack of space in your fort.

“I just want to make it up to you. Because you deserve everything. And the people I’ve dated in the past have done things on Valentine’s day, and it makes me feel fucking terrible that I can’t even be assed to remember it for you. It makes me feel like I’ve let you down, and it sucks, because I want to be worthy of you. If I can’t even remember one stupid day, how am I supposed to be the person you need me to be?”

You inhale sharply, getting all your words out and finally being able to breathe. Lena’s freely crying now, tears pooling at the corners of her eyes and wetting her cheeks.

“No, (Y/N), look at this. You did this.” She points up at the fort surrounding you. “You did make it up to me. You realized it and did something about it. I could never hold this against you. I can’t be mad at you for this. You did nothing wrong, baby. And you are exactly the person I need.”

Lena’s hand comes up to your face and caresses your cheek, her thumb lightly treading circles on your skin.

“You are so good to me. You are good for me, (Y/N), and I couldn’t have asked for a better person to spend this day with.” She leans in to kiss you and your breathing steadies, allowing yourself this forgiveness.

There’s a pause in your kisses as you and Lena look at each other, the documentary long over as silence fills your apartment. Nothing but the sounds of the street and the humming of your appliances can be heard.

“You wanna know something that I haven’t done?” You ask her after a moment.

“What is that?”

“I’ve never had sex in a pillow fort before. I’m gonna fuck you in this one.”

You smirk as she she gasps scandalously, swatting your face away from her as you effectively ruin the moment. You laugh as you dodge her half-hearted attempts to keep you away, poking at her sides as she twitches and squeals at the onslaught.

“Hey, but honestly. What else haven’t you done before? You wanna do some watercolour painting tonight? I think I have a full set hiding around somewhere that I got from my best friend for my birthday. Or we could put together a puzzle, or something.” You contemplate the items you have in your apartment, and you’re about to move to look for them.

All Lena does is give you a long look, studying you before she pushes you down onto your back and moves on top of you, kissing you so that you both forget the time or the day by the time you’re both done with each other.

#lena luthor #lena luthor x reader #lena luthor imagine #supercorp #supercorp fic #lena luthor fic #katie mcgrath #supercorp fan fic

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