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autistic-katara · 1 year

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stuff i wanna see in TSATS

its just less than 2 months until TSATS comes out and my pjo phase is coming back HARD so heres some stuff i wanna see (idc how popular or unpopular these r)

Solangelo kiss (seriously like all the other good canon couples had one)

explicit use of queer terms (i havent rlly seen anyone talk abt this but as much as i love queer characters just existing u have no idea how happy it makes me to see media, especially kids media, explicitly say the words gay, bisexual, transgender, lesbian, etc.)

Hunters of Artemis cameo

piggybacking off that, Nico’s reaction to Reyna being a hunter (ive wanted to see this since 2019 PLEASE i gotta know how he feels abt this considering yk his past w/ them)

confirmation on whether Will’s gay or bi/mspec (or just simply queer, no specific labels necessary)

a trans/nonbinary character (specifically transmasc)

a Piper cameo

during her cameo Piper explicitly saying her sexuality (which is lesbian, if u think otherwise ur wrong/hj)

Hazel cameo

more Lavinia content (idc how i just need more of my chaotic Jewish ADHD pink-haired Russian lesbian, ok?)

GAY ANGST

MORE GAY ANGST

SO MUCH GAY ANGST ITLL MAKE MY AO3 HISTORY LOOK LIKE A HAPPY HETEROSEXUAL PURE BIBLE CLUB FOR TODDLERS

canonically autistic Nico

that Lil Nas X reference we were promised

Nico making more trauma jokes (he just like me fr)

the multiple coming out scenes i heard were allegedly promised

Hades and/or Apollo cameo

Hestia cameo

Jason’s ghost cameo

dead Apollo kids cameo

explicit discussion of Nico’s religious trauma

explicit discussion of just Will’s trauma in general (seriously we all kinda ignore that our “sunshiney golden retriever uwu gay boi 😊🌸✨☀️” actually has some super serious trauma)

both of them coping badly with all this and being worried abt eachother (aka gay angst but more specific)

Maria di Angelo content

Persephone cameo w/ her either still lowkey hating Nico and being passive aggressive asf to him or having had him grow on her in the past few years and is now turning the overprotective mom mode to the max

just some cute, non-angsty moments between Nico nd Will cause goddam we need some queer joy rn ;-;

so much hurt/comfort u physically cant continue living anymore (going both ways not just Will comforting Nico)

a MCGA cameo

Fierrochase and Solangelo meeting and having the same funny interactions they have in the memes (but with the canon versions of them)

discussions of stuff like homophobia and internalized homophobia and mental illness

a relatively happy ending (but not a “2 months later and the world is perfect and neither of them had felt anything close to depression or anything since the ending and if for some reason addiction was a part of this we would we talking abt how they were magically 2 months clean and it would be physically impossible for the thought of relapse to even cross their mind” kinda happy ending cause i hate those kinda endings w/ a burning passion)

setup for another side book (preferably a Piper or Reyna one)

thats all i can think of rn off the top of my head but feel free to comment on any of these or add ur ideas cause 2 months feels like an eternity long wait + hearing other opinions is fun when we arent all in a heated argument over smthn stupid

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8-rae-rae-8 · 3 months

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I just saw 💖's angsty post and I just gotta cook another little side dish-

Soap coming back after faking his death but Simon, still deep in regression can't believe it and refuses to accept it. He watched Bubba die. This has to be another bad dream, he'll just wake up again, all alone. He's crying and shaking his head. He's desperately trying to wake himself up from this bad dream before it gets worse. He's already been through this with Bug (Roach) and he can't bear to trick himself like that again. Big Simon is no better. He's angry that Soap would lie. After everything they've been through. All the times he's poured his heart out- when he told him about Roach, told him about his parents...only for Soap to put him through that trauma all over again. He's not coping and is withdrawing again. He feels he can't trust anyone and starts pushing everyone away again. He fights his regression (which makes his mental health Worse) Because he's scared of being emotionally vulnerable like he is when he's little. He purposefully avoids the rest of 141; adjusting his schedule to make sure he doesn't have to meet with them. (Price tries to be gentle through all this and let Simon have his space but eventually puts his foot down when Simon and Soap have a brawl in the rec room after Soap tried to start a conversation w/ Ghost. He drags the two bloodied and banged up boys to his office and for the first time EVER dishes out a double time out. )

-Feral anon

Oh my

The first double time out :0

Simon ended up sitting in Price's lap instead of Soap's when the timeout was done, which probably hurt a lot. He cried and cried until he was finally reaching out for bubba 😭

He's still distant with them for a while, but he wants them still. He especially keeps a distant eye on Soap while he's big, to make sure he doesn't fade out of existence. And he's hesitant to regress, but he manages to relax when he just got too exhausted.

He stood in front of Soap's door and waited for him, not even knocking on it, just waiting for him to leave and scoop him up. It's too much to ask, he wants to be near even if Soap doesn't exit the room

#💖 sidedish #feral anon #cod agere

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lakesbian · 10 months

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what do you think a second trigger from alec would look like? both in how it would happen and in how his power would change.

would he be like kephri?

OOH this is an interesting one thank you. you guys gotta stop giving me alec questions (do not stop giving me alec questions) i will never read pact efficiently at this rate.

alright so second triggers need to mimic the circumstances of the original trigger event, like how both times brian triggers from not feeling/being strong enough to protect a loved one. i haven't quite figured out how to structure my essay explaining what i think the general premise of alec's trigger event was yet so you're just going to have to Trust My Autistic Expertise when i say that he triggered because he either very desperately wanted or outright asked for help/protection from heartbreaker from someone (possibly a sibling) and was ignored. so what that translates to in abstract is "lifelong isolation & terror w/ no one ever stepping in to help despite many people watching the abuse happen culminating in betrayal and abandonment at his weakest point, leaving him with the devastating realization that he truly is entirely alone in the world and no one will ever care enough to help him if they're not forced." w/ the added details that the source of fear and the source of betrayal are both extremely personal and well-known to alec. subsequently a second trigger would be very unlikely, because it would necessitate 1. alec being scared of and unable to defend himself from a specific known threat (tall order, he's bad at being scared of things now) 2. that known threat persistently attempting to hurt him specifically (tall order, no one gives a shit about regent) and 3. the undersiders being his last line of defense and then callously leaving him when he needs them (they would not fucking do that i joke about them leaving him in a bassinet outside PRT headquarters but they would not fucking do that).

the other thing to note about second triggers is that, in terms of worm's ongoing power/trauma metaphor, they're what happen when your coping mechanisms aren't enough. brian's initial power is him putting up a big scary front to hide the vulnerability and fear that's keeping him from doing what he thinks is his job and protecting aisha--and then when it's not enough to keep bonesaw from seeing how weak he is and hurting him even worse, when it's not enough to help him protect taylor, it shifts. he's already prone to imitating his abuser--the scariest, strongest thing he knows--when he doesn't know how else to keep in control. it's why he's physically violent to rachel to keep her in line, why he tells her that he hates that she's making him acting like what he hates the most. his second trigger takes that and turns it into a superpower: just being scary wasn't enough, so now he can become what he fears and hates, take the powers of the people menacing him & his loved ones and fight back with that power.

so if alec being able to force the people he spends time around to help him doesn't work, if the closest thing to a family he has abandons him anyway, just like when he was a kid, then his power will shift to compensate. it wouldn't be a khepri circumstance--whereas taylor's trauma (& subsequently her power) are focused on isolation and betrayal from society as a whole, the locus of alec's trauma is the family, a much smaller and more personal source of pain. hence why his power is limited to 3-4 people at a time, and why it's capable of such exacting and intimate control. (compare to khepri, who has endless multitasking capability, but poor fine motor skills w/ people she masters--she's focused on frustrations w/ society as a whole and thus moves people in broad sweeps that are most powerful as a crowd, whereas alec is focused on more interpersonal betrayal and thus has more exact control over fewer people.) imagine how he would respond to the team, the only people he has, abandoning him? to aisha, the person he cares about more than his own life, abandoning him? he would have no interest in reaching out to different people in this circumstance, so his power's range wouldn't widen--rather, he would want to be better at holding onto the people he already wants to care about him.

i could see something along the lines of his multitasking abilities degrading even further--maybe down to 1-2 people at once instead of 3-4--and in exchange, he gets the ability to actually start changing people he's controlling. slowly supplanting their desires with what he wants (e.g, for them to want to help him), his power being able to seed auto-piloted future actions or pavlovian responses, people he's controlling slowly feeling more and more positive to him heartbreaker-style, etc. i dunno i'm just throwing out ideas here. don't quite think any of these are perfect but they're in the ballpark.

#ask #parahumans #we got a brian special feature in this one #worm spoilers #scarf don't look

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pixlokita · 4 months

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Okay yeah angst Cassie and Cassie|Vanny but like- Imagine the severe PTSD Cassie has to go through every time she enters an elevator- She really needs (NON Fazbear Entertainment managed) therapy- Poor girl-

Why can't she just live on with her animatronic wolf mama staff bot papa (Controversial there but whatever/ +even more trauma to the already traumatized girl so we better give her the best therapy-) 😭😭😭

And it's part of the reason she gets (most likely) Glitchtrapped in the first place!!!

(I know that we believe differently when it comes to who we play as in HW2 and that's good! I like to see different opinions play out. I'm not going to unfollow you just because we have a different opinion because you're that good of an artist and I love your comics. Period.)

Lmao 😭 eyyy thank ✨ tbh can’t blame Cassie if she ends up with elevatophobia :v as someone who’s been in malfunctioning elevators =w= that is terrifying as heck every time but still better than her straight up dying from the fall >>)b I love seeing Vanny Cassie too tbh just because :v bunby ;w; 💜✨🐰 but yeah too much sad Can get depressing fast TTwTT sometimes you gotta cope with the possible happier outcomes and hope they’re canon so you can enjoy all the sad stuff without guilt

#pix answers #fnaf #honestly I do want to know more about Cassie’s dad #and >> i want him to be Jeremy …..#Idk if he’d necessarily have to be the Bonnie bully also #but it would be satisfying to connect everything like a sewing stitch #i gave up on the timelines making sense as soon as the fnaf movie made Vanessa an afton #sorry for the spoilers if you haven’t watched it but like …. came out last year #-wheeze-#no but seriously #came out on October #am allowed to spoil

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whywhatswrongwithblue · 8 months

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DW REWATCH

S1E2 THE END OF THE WORLD

The Doctor takes Rose on her first voyage through time, to the year five billion. The sun is about to expand and swallow the earth. Amongst the alien races gathering to watch, a murderer is at work. Who is controlling the mysterious and deadly spiders?

WHAT was he doing in this scene.

You think you're so impressive. ---I am so impressive baby’s first flirt….

2. You lot, you spend all your time thinking about dying, like you're going to get killed by eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible, that maybe you survive. i adore this line. Iirc i read somewhere that this episode was made when a lot of negative climate focussed media was coming out and rtd wanted to assure young viewers that there was always hope? Not sure where i saw it but it’s stuck with me

3. Is that why we're here? I mean, is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?-- rose we are literally here so i can trauma dump. Haven’t you heard of healthy coping mechanisms??

4. He's blue RTD my beloved. What an incredibly realistic, human observation—i feel like companions simply do not do this anymore. And they should!

5. Love the bark makeup. It’s so pretty!

6. The air from my lungs….this episode is so good damn it

7. Moxx of Balhoon better known as the CEO of sex. I give you the gift of bodily salivas lucky Rose

8. CASSANDRAAAAA

9. Rose being overwhelmed and running out. I can’t get over the amount of care and detail RTD put into writing her. She really is his baby. Can’t wait to see how he brings her back now (because he will. He will.)

10. Jabe’s device is unable to identify a timelord, probably because the rest of the universe thinks them dead? Although her reaction is very different from that of the Nestene Consciousness (who is implied to have lost quite a bit in the Time War), whereas Jabe doesn’t seem to have any personal connection. I wonder what the other outsider perceptions of the War were!

11. Ahhh Rose being kind to the plumber. I love my girl. LMAO at her realising she just hitched a ride with a complete stranger w/o thinking about it. The metal spiders are very Minority Report.

12. Your machine gets inside my head. It gets inside and it changes my mind, and you didn't even ask? the WRITING. Just chef’s kiss. Even in this sort of power dynamic, you never ever feel like Rose doesn’t have agency. She’s so smart and capable and fierce. i love her.

13. Gotta love how fast they switch from arguing to flirting. Jiggery-pokery <3

14. I might be late home. and then she comes back a YEAR later JESUS

15. Bad Wolf mention!

16. Hahahah i can’t watch the Jabe scene without thinking of plant sex now, courtesy of Katie

17. I was born on that planet, and so was my mum, and so was my dad. I love how much Rose loves her dad. Like if you’ve never even known a parent, you probably wouldn’t bring them up in a context like this, but the addition implies that Rose thinks of her dad quite a bit, and this is a nice little subtle setup to my favourite episode of the season, Father’s Day

18. The sun filter scene! It’s unexpectedly tense. I remember being really worried the first time I saw it

19. This whole event was sponsored by the Face of Boe. He invited us. Jack set them up….god that’s so sweet. The fact that he knows that they’re properly together in Pete’s World at this point <3333333 he is Literally Us. Putting his blorbos in Situations.

20. What are you going to do, moisturise me?

21. At least it'll be quick. Just like my fifth husband. HUHHH?? LMAO

22. I love the turning fan trope, every time it’s in any movie ever, it’s got me on the edge of my seat

23. Everything has its time, and everything dies. OOF. Appreciate Rose still wanting Cassandra to be saved! Something something parallel with how she changed the Doctor so much that he’s willing to give Cassandra a peaceful death in New Earth <3 the power of love, folks.

24. The Earth death scene is beautiful. I remember feeling so sad that everyone just missed it! And the Doctor finally realising that maybe this wasn’t a great first trip for his young companion xD

25. I'm left travelling on my own 'cos there's no one else.---There's me. What a beautiful moment of intimacy. And such great acting! The Doctor is finally beginning to let her in, and Rose has attached to this stranger so quickly, despite how prickly and condescending he can be. Soulmates <3

Loveee this ending. 10/10 again!

#dw rewatch: s1 #rose tyler #ninth doctor #ninerose #rtd era #meta

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nikomedes · 5 months

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i don’t want to add on to the post directly but i rly am grateful for that “when u actually commit to sitting down and unpacking ur trauma after living ur life in it, everything will get Very Bad before it gets better” bc legitimately. okay clown moment imminent. july this year i went into therapy and was like “hey bestie! im so glad we could reconnect after u got me thru a crisis five years back! i think fortunately u got me thru my latest crisis so it may be time for us to stop seeing each other again! 🥰” and she, my fucking ride or die will not take my bullshit therapist, went “oh thats so good to hear! 🥳💖 so we can definitely do that or yknow. we could start work on the trauma underlying this long-term cycle of struggle i help u out with every few years? 🤔 lmk”

and i immediately started crying lmao. bc she was right and like, im the most emotionally, physically, and financially stable ive been in my entire life. and it was time. i have been living w layers of maladaptive coping mechanisms and unexamined beliefs about my life from traumas at 4, 16, 19, 24… all the survival quite triumphant but really just layers of scabs. i needed to debride the wounds. rebreak the bones to set them right. metaphors yknow

yall it sucks so bad. p much ever since ive been in a spiral of my worst behaviors and desperately clinging to comforts with my claws out. all time lows for household management, work performance, personal hygiene, you name it. but also? i know i feel so bad in direct proportion to how much i need to work on this stuff. and between therapy, her thoughtful book recs so i can learn about psychological tools as we work with them, the most half-assed journal keeping youve seen in ur life, the support of friends and family, meds, etc etc, i can feel stuff shifting. im past the point of recommending therapy to everyone and i know esp in the US access is behind so many bullshit hurdles. but however u go about it, when ur in a place that can support becoming Goop in an effort to fully heal, its worth it. u gotta. its what we deserve, aka the full chance at living a life we rly love

anyway here’s a meme my friend and beloved podcast cohost made when i went to the gc the first time to lament Turning Into Soup after deciding to actively work on stuff

they do know now. and theyre proud of me, even while im Goop

#the books btw are the classic ‘the body keeps the score’ and more recent ‘no bad parts’#im the kind of bitch who wants clinical studies and facts over comfort w my mental health so #i do a lot of reading. just for my own edification #long post #dot txt

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twinkarchon · 8 months

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//mun’s note: short story time? short story time !!! this time its my au of tattered!karl where basically its sort of a connection of the Law of Talos ending but twist is that managed to get back to Castle of Nations w his trauma of what happened and have trust issues (cuz it be angsty like that and its my au so i do what i want when i want to) so anyways,,, enjoy !!!!! (and its karl’s perspective)

‘why… do you want to help me?’ i asked,

looking at the worker who’s checking up on me.

‘you’re tattered, of course i gotta help’ they asked,

before they kneel down to check & run some tests.

for now, i’m currently residing in the backstage in Castle of Nations,

they’re trying to figure out how i managed…

…to be in this broken state.

my buddies always check up on me at night; and Climber bringing Clarice and Rachel too so they also can check up on me.

we’ve kept that secret of them going to backstage,

since no one besides staff goes to this area.

‘gosh i don’t know how you managed to be in this state’ they said, with worrisome look & tone

i stayed silent,

not sure whether their intention is good or evil.

‘why…’

‘..?’ they looked at me in confusion.

‘why…help me?’, i asked in a worried tone.

‘i want to help, thats all. im staff for a reason,’

they answered in a cheerful tone.

i don’t know whether to buy that or not,

as having trust issues is a pain in the ass.

i always have Arma by my side,

as she luckily didn’t get tattered,

…unlike me.

i hope i get fixed soon,

and find a way to get rid of my trust issues,

and a way to cope my trauma.

//author’s note: me writing short stories SUCKS ASS so i hope i can improve on it in the future if i continue do short stories or something !!!! :3

#endzone #law of talos #castle of nations #castleofnations #law of talos karl

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windebris · 2 years

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HERE IT IS, THE LONG-AWAITED (its been an hour) Lonely King by CG5 analysis post!!!!! its a bit long so i’ll put it under a cut but hoooooooo boy its a good one.

We open on, instead of vultures in the desert, two (literal) ducks on the cacti and one duck (cq) in the desert. Theyre chirping. Its an implied sunrise, this is a new beginning for quack or at least He wants it to be; the sky is red, which is always a bad sign for future endeavors.

Right off the bat the screen is divided into to parts, one shadowed and one light. In the shadowed part (left) its all unpacked boxes and unhealthy coping mechanisms (cough alcohol cough) and on the light half (right) hes got poker chips stacked up high and books and work. He wants to seem like hes got it all together, hes the king hes the boss hes got this. But really, hes struggling when no one bothers to look (ie the fiancés that left him [he left? Both] and the friends that dont check in)

the colored cards represent characters but the fact that he smashes through it right after is telling; id guess the ones at the very top are quackity & charlie, then foolish, purpled, and fundy underneath. The dark green id guess tubbo. You cant see it very clearly in the screenshot but the far bottom left is shades of gray, so id say schlatt, and the middle two are pink/yellow and green/white, so techno and dream. Far right is purple so im thinking karl. Wilburs gotta be in there somewhere, and so does sapnap so possibly the two in the more middle bottom area? Unsure about the yellow/green and solid blue near the top.

ANYWHO the reason i bring this up is that the ones right at the base, at the cornerstones and the center, are the traumatic people. No matter how far up he builds, cq’s very foundation is these experiences that he may not be able to see from the top, but he’ll always shake if theyre shifted.

The ones at the TOP are the ones he build Very Carefully, and with the purpose of Being At the Top, that Matters More and is Where he Is Now. this is what quack Wants people to see about him.

Here hes literally digging a grave for pictures of his enemies (schlatt and two turned away photos), (it juxtaposes with the lyrics being like ‘i was told i had to walk away [from my enemies]’ but the lyrical analysis is a Whole different post) but hes crying as he does so!!! It introduces the blue as a ‘this is what im feeling, it doesnt have to bring me control its what i am rn’ color, kind of an expression w/o limitations. Later that’ll express differently w the color but rn its the first time we see cq cry in the vid, and to my knowledge its the only time. I could be wrong about that tho. And he is Very Alone in this scene, theres no one to support him so hes Literally burying his trauma!!! Hence the never crying again!

I love all of these stills in the mirror bc he's reflected wearing the outfit associated with his time of 'owch' with the particular person overlaid in red over him (red = pain = success for the one dealing it out, hence the abundance of red in las nevadas bc he wants to be the one in control), but OWCH WHY KARL I LOVE KARL SO MUUUCH

i'll TELL YOU why karl it's because he fits Right in with the others in the sense that he was a Betrayal. schlatt was skeevy going in, but he was his husband he was meant to be at least Not-Bad, then Bam betrayal. Wilbur was meant to be his friend, was meant to be a fellow countryman, then Bam explosion. etc, so Karl not Only fits right in but is arguably the most stark and important bc of these flashes bc he's the only one that's only mentioned once, Here. bc cq doesn't see him as an enemy per se, like he clearly describes the others as. no, Karl is Pain, he is Red, he is Betrayal, but never an enemy (hence why he wasn't in the roulette spinner scene)

he's making himself a New Kind of villain PURPOSEFULLY!!!!!! HES WELL AWARE GOING INTO IT THAT THEYLL SEE HIM AS THE BAD GUY!!!! He Chooses to be the inflictor of pain rather than the one who takes the brunt of it bc it's the only way he can stay safe!!!!! that's why he hurts dream, he's stealing the 'smile' and the position bc when dream was in charge no one dared hurt him. no one dared. but quackity isn't red naturally!! his scar is a different color (barely noticeable) and the red on him (beanie, tie) are choices!! he Chose to wear those as opposed to before all of the server hardship when he Chose to wear blue (naivete? or maybe an unconscious hope that things would turn out good)

Theres a certain swagger that comes with choosing the ‘wrong’ path that i love about cq. Hes sauntering down to hell with a handbag full of golden poker chips and an even more golden smirk and tbh so girlboss of him

THERES NO HEART IN THE CARD SUITS IM GONNA CRY

Also! King imageryyyyy with the throne! It goes along with the title ‘lonely king’ because obvi its a throne, hes got the king thing going on, but also hes the only one in this frame. The colors are muted except for the red (pain, loneliness, control, what he seeks for so long but cant stand to have in reality) and some gold on the poker chip (illusion of control? Illusion of importance, surely) so hes Very Lonely

TRANSITION!!!!! before now the colors were All red and orange and white black brown and GOLD GOLD GOLD, but now we have variety, he's introducing friends, he has hope; the first time we see them they're suits on cards (earlier in video) but now they're pictures on a wall like important figures in his life (see: portraits of wil and schlatt except this time they're on the wall, unbroken, bc he so desperately Wants these ppl in his life) as distinct from pawns like initially (re: cards)

Also, notice that purp is the Only One not smiling! He holds a grudge (a well-deserved one, but hey this is cquacks perspective so im not gonna go into it here lol)

Here they are as the cards earlier; still have the color, still have the hope, but theyre impersonal. No faces beyond the bare minimum, and honestly those look pretty intimidating and blank. These are pawns, theyre workers, theyre something to be used. So when quackity swipes over them in red paint-its preeeetty clear he wants nothing to do with this newfound hope. Given this is earlier in the music vid (before the first pic i used, actually) its in character at that point; theres potential hope in these pawns, and thats gotta be stamped out with the red, the control, so he cant get hurt with them.

BACK TO THE TIME FRAME I WAS IN AND A L S O THE ESTABLISHED COLOR SCHEME which meeeeans somethings disrupted the relative safety, cq's settling down ain't gonna happen, mistrust has crept back in and we're unstable again hence the gold sparky sparks in las nevadas colors!!!! red, again, he wants control, but Gold is that legacy and prestige he sees everyone else get and it's falling apart (or about to) in front of him

quack is evilly grinning up at purp (notice the ‘up at’ as in hes below him in terms that purple has power OVER him but quack still wants to claim that sense of control), like oh yes stealing the dream motif again with the haha you can't get to me I don't care about your attempt on my life EXCEPT the Second purp goes for cslime the smile drops. he cares about someone, like it or not, and the chosen villain storyline doesn't hold up anymore bc he cares, at his very core he cares so much and that's why he didn't want his people to get close (hence the card suits) and when they Did (picture frames) he gets screwed over. bc quackitys character is about betrayal. and as soon as the red and gold disappeared, pain and ambition and control traded for hope again, that colorful wonderful thing, it was ripped away just as fast by one of the people he trusted. whether the color purple is a motif there I'll leave up to you (Karl, purpled)

AND! HE DIVES AFTER SLIME EVEN WHEN HE KNOWS INTELLECTUALLY THAT THE GUYS A GONNER ALREADY! THATS AN UNCONSCIOUS, IMMEDIATE REACTION!!! Just wanted to add that. Bc it wasnt a choice, he didnt choose to let these people in like he chose to keep them Out initially, but by god does he grip them close once theyre there. I wouldnt be surprised if cpurp joined the lineup beside karl and wil and schlatt and techno for betrayers.

THE RETURN OF COLOR AGAINNNNNN (I'm sorry for the overabundance of color analysis but it's There. I promise it's There and im not just insane.) and maybe it's not quite hope outright and I was wrong, but it's hope in something. slime is essentially dead, quacks been betrayed again, but this time he has something left. las nevadas isn't even Considered in this frame bc he's so consumed by this loss. our boy is coming BACK, BABYYYY and! and! he's on an equal plane with slime, they're standing shoulder to shoulder!!!! that is So different from every other position we've seen him in compared with other people who held power over him previously; schlatt stood over him, and so did Wilbur and tech and Karl that one time, with the one time they Weren't putting them in a grave that quack was digging at (I'll add a picture of that below) and they weren't even there!!! he put picture frames for a semblance of control!!! here, he's actually on even footing with his Friend, which makes the loss even more heartbreaking

hes disheveled, his beanie is gone (perhaps the most telling thing that hes gone through an abyss [hero’s journey anyone?]) this is his big moment (w/n the music video, im sure theres more to come for the character, however briefly)

and there's blue on what's presumably wils picture bc of ghostbur, duh, but also bc ghostbur fundamentally has the more free state of mind that quackity associates with hope. ofc all that's gone by the time he's revived but it's a nice thought

he's angry!!! singing directly into the dynamite, his scar is Bright Red unlike in previous scenes, this guy is Angry and rightfully so. he's had his moment of weakness (cough hope cough) and it's set him right back to vengeance and control and Pain. there's no gold anymore, he doesn't seem to care about the legacy element or the wealth, he just wants the safety of control. it's a spotlight, he's the only one left to care about, everything's drowned out except himself and the pain he can bring (ie the explosive. Wilbur callbacks anyone, he's literally a shadow but whether it's of Wilbur or of his former glory is debatable esp since glory is a motif here)

back to fake smiles, back to card suit imagery, we've boomeranged to the beginning and all hopes of permanent character development are gone. we're leading up to a breaking point in the narrative (background is kinda swiveling btwn orange and red like lava, like it's close to an eruption but that's kinda a reach) but we're not there yet

THIS IS LITERALLY JUST CC QUACKITY. HES TAUNTING US. HE STOLE ALL OF CQs color and put it into his own background bc this man is enjoying the panic he creates with all the angst.

Okay but in all seriousness about that one, all black = mourning = oh gosh quacks gonna die. Hes totally gonna die. OR its just for the vibes idk. But this man is Literally holding the fate of las nevadas (colors motif yes to all of it hes got the pain and control and the unrevealed card ‘up his sleeve’) in his hands. I am So here for this its gonna be an awesome finale

And i just rewatched the first bit and this totally supports my thing that blue is hope and red is pain. that in addition to there being no heart on the ‘throne’ from earlier-- its bc it was broken :D it flashes for like .01 seconds and it took a solid five attempts to pause on lol. the tiny broken heart makes My heart break

ive skipped the Whole part w c!Tommy and the bit with the mirror smash (its rly fascinating, so many mini-scenes all in one!!) for someone a bit more versed in the VODs to analyze, but ohhhh buy was this fun. Ty for reading through my incoherent mess of an analysis, it my little english enthusiast heart very happy :D

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terrifyingly-bi · 2 years

Text

Closed Doors (Steve Harrington x Hargrove!Reader)

Summary: Steve invites you to a sleepover with the rest of the gang. It's your first sleepover and you're not entirely sure what to do at one.

Warnings/tags: established relationship (kind of), mentions of abuse, but some fluff, actually mostly fluff, humor to cope with trauma, bonding over sucky parents

Wordcount: ~2,7k

A/N: @manyfandomsfanvergent asked for more Steve x Hargrove!Reader and I wanted to write more so here we are. I have been cursed by 'getting too into it and getting carried away' but hnnnnng Steeeeve

『••✎••』

Sleepovers weren’t your thing. It had never been your thing, but when Steve had invited you over for a game night with the rest of the gang, you got weirdly excited. But since you hadn’t even been to one before, you found yourself stumped when preparing for one.

Did you have to bring something? And what? Clothes? Food?

You looked up when your brother passed by your bedroom door. He didn’t look inside, an unspoken rule the two of you had agreed upon since your father demanded that your doors stay open. “Hey, Billy?” You hurriedly got up and leaned out through the doorway. “Have you seen my old sports bag?”

Billy stopped halfway into his own room and turned to look at you. “Why?” He asked, eyes narrowing.

“I’m going to a sleepover and I need to pack,” you said.

The look your brother gave you made you want to roll back into your room with a groan. “You’re not seriously going to Harrington’s house,” he said with a look of distaste. “Seriously? Out of everyone in this shitty place you had to pick him?”

“He’s not so bad,” you said. “The kids’ll be there.”

“Because that makes it so much better.” Billy leaned his forehead against the doorway to his room. He looked at you for a moment and you knew that the slight wrinkle between his brows was caused by worry. “That fight you two had…”

You still felt confused and a bit emotional over what you and Steve had said to one another outside of the arcade. You didn’t know if it was a relief or not that you didn’t have to say anything about your situation, but you were relieved that Steve had stuck around.

“It was nothing,” you mumbled. “It was a silly argument that wasn’t really an argument at all. He’s just worried about me and-” You stopped yourself before you said too much. “I really like him.”

Billy pursed his lips but gave in with a groan. “Ugh, fine. Whatever. You can borrow my bag,” he said, reaching into his room and grabbing his own sports bag and tossing it to you. “Put my shoes in the laundry room, there’s a pocket in the second compartment. The zipper is broken but there should be condoms in there.”

You wrinkled your nose. “Ew, why do you have condoms?” You asked and picked the bag up between two fingers.

“Why don’t you?” Billy asked with a shrug. He watched blankly as you inspected the rest of the bag. “What are you gonna tell dad?” he asked.

Looking up at him, you gulped. “I don’t know yet,” you admitted. “I was hoping he wouldn’t have to know.”

“So he kills you when he finds out?” Billy asked.

You flinched back at those words. “Dad doesn’t have to know,” you repeated, trying to sound as confident as you could. But it was never confident or comfortable when it was about your father.

Billy and you stood in still silence for what felt like an eternity. Then he shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m not gonna tell him,” he mumbled and looked away. “You head out and I’ll cover for you.”

“Really?” You asked.

Billy shrugged again. “Yeah, really,” he said. “You’ve covered for me loads of times.” He turned and looked at you. “Gotta look out for each other, right?” He mumbled before he headed into his room and disappeared out of sight.

“Thanks, Bill,” you mumbled before you headed back to yours.

“Hargrove!” Dustin held his hand up when he opened the door for you. “You made it!”

You grinned at him and high-fived him. “Wasn’t about to miss game night three times in a row,” you said and stepped into the house. “How come you’re the one letting me in and not the guy who actually lives here?”

Dustin chuckled. “He’s busy. Lucas may or may not have spilled a gallon of soda on something worth half a fortune.” He nodded toward the hallway towards the living room. Then his gaze wandered to the bag on your shoulder. “You’re staying too?” He asked, visibly excited.

“Yeah,” you said. “Hence the bag. What? People don’t have those anymore?”

“We do. You just never stick around the entire night,” Dustin pointed out.

“Someone has to roam the streets and keep the cryptids at bay,” you joked, but Dustin didn’t look particularly amused by that so you quickly changed the topic. “Anyway, let’s go and see if they’ve cleared that mess up.”

There was, in fact, a big mess in the living room, and both Lucas, Will, and Steve were on their hands and knees with towels, mopping up blue soda from the floor. Max and Mike looked on with matching grins. They both looked up and waved when they spotted you.

“You made it!” Max cheered, which made Steve whip around and look at you.

At once, his face split into a wide smile. “Hey!” He dropped the soggy towel he held and got up from the floor. “You’re here.” He walked up to you, stopping just a few feet away. It wasn’t that you kept your relationship a secret, but it was always awkward when the rest of your friends were around. He looked at your bag. “Here, I’ll show you where you can put your things,” he said and glanced over his shoulder. “That had better be spotless when I come back.”

You followed him out of the room and up the stairs as the kids began joking about unjust labor, Steve linking his fingers with yours as soon as the two of you were out of sight.

“Thanks for coming. I was beginning to worry that I was going to have to babysit all by myself,” Steve said when you climbed the stairs.

Chuckling, you gave his fingers a squeeze. “I don’t think you’re really babysitting them anymore. They’re like proper teenagers now,” you pointed out. “At this point, why not call it what it is?”

Steve smiled at you from over his shoulder. “Maybe I’m trying to keep my image?”

“That’s long gone, Harrington,” you laughed.

Steve led you upstairs and into one of the bedrooms. “You can put your things here,” he said and pointed to the chair by the desk. He sat down on the bed, which was made with crisp, white sheets.

You put your bag down and sat down next to him, looking around the room. “How many rooms do you have in this mansion, anyway? Surely one for each kid,” you said.

“Kids are sleeping in the living room,” Steve said. He scratched the back of his head and then suddenly looked embarrassed. “This is actually my room,” he confessed.

Your eyes widened as you turned to look at him. “This is your room?” You asked. It wasn’t that it was bad, it was just so… bare. There was nothing on the walls save for a generic painting and the curtains. Even your room was more interesting.

Steve nodded as he looked around. “Yup.” Then he put his hand over yours and smiled at you. “I thought it’d be best if you got this room. And if you’re not up for sharing, I’ll just crash in my parents’ room since they’re away.”

You didn’t know what was more confusing; the fact that Steve had so much freedom, that his room looked about as personal as an ad or that he’d just asked you to share a bed with him. You barely knew what to address first.

“I’ve never shared a bed with anyone,” you admitted, leaning against him. “Actually, this is my first sleepover. So I’m counting on you to show me the ropes.”

“You're telling me you’ve never spent the night away before? Or hosted a sleepover at yours?” Steve sputtered, dumbfounded.

You shook your head. “Never. Dad wouldn’t allow it.”

“Real nice of him to let you out for once,” Steve mumbled, clearly sarcastic. Then he grew silent. “He does know that you’re here, right?” He asked. “Right?” He repeated when you didn’t reply. When you shook your head, it looked as if he would tip over. “Babe, you can’t be serious!”

“If I’d asked him he would have just said no!” You argued.

“So no one knows that you’re here?” Steve asked.

“Billy knows,” you said. “He said he’d cover for me.” You frowned when Steve sighed and let your hand go to smother his hands over his face. “Are you mad?”

“God no!” Steve said and pulled his hands away from his face. “I’m just worried about you. I don’t want to get you in trouble. If this is going to piss your dad off, I’ll just give you a ride home later and-”

“No,” you said. “I’m not going home. I’m going to stay right here,” you said and pointed to where you sat. “I’m going to stay here all night and we’re going to have a good time.” The moment those words left your mouth you began to blush. “Well… in this house. I’m staying in this house. Attending the game night.”

Steve grinned at you. “Oh, the game night. That’s why you’re so eager to stay here all night?” He teased you. He slowly began wrapping his arms around you. “Is that all you’re excited about?” He asked huskily, pulling you closer and running his thumb over your lip.

You had learned early that Steve’s love language was a physical one. You weren’t opposed to it, but you weren’t too familiar with soft touches and gentle caresses. “Not if you give me something else to be excited about,” you told him.

He smirked and opened his mouth to say something - probably dirty - when a crash from downstairs made him shoot back up from the bed and race out the room. “I heard that!” He shouted as he rushed down the stairs.

You couldn’t help but chuckle as you got up to follow.

It was way into the small hours when you decided to call it a night. Max and Lucas had fallen asleep nearly an hour ago, propping each other up on the couch. Will was dozing off in the armchair and even Dustin looked as if he was about to drop.

You were tired and yawned every other minute, trying not to fall asleep as you helped Steve and Mike collect all the pieces for the board game you'd all given up on. You were all practically sleepwalking.

"I'm hitting the hay," Steve said once you'd finished. "Is it okay if I use the bathroom before you?" he asked.

"Go ahead. I'll help the kids set up his things up and join you in a bit," you said and went to put the game box away.

You helped Mike set up a good spot for sleeping, tucked Will and Dustin in with some blankets, and made sure to tip Lucas and Max safely onto the couch before you made your way upstairs and went to grab your bag.

"There you are," Steve said when you ran into him on his way out of the bathroom. "Why don't you get ready while I go and warm the bed up?" he winked.

"I'll be right with you," you promised, making sure to brush past him when you went into the bathroom to wash up and change.

It was strange to perform your nightly routines somewhere that wasn't your home. It took you a while to get used to the giant mirror in the bathroom and the fancy counter and sink.

Was this what you'd missed out on for all these years, you wondered as you brushed your teeth. Staying up late with your friends and snooping around in the host's bathroom before going to bed? It was both over and underwhelming.

As promised, Steve had made himself comfortable in bed when you returned and grinned at you while patting the empty spot on the bed he'd saved for you.

"For me?" You asked as you put your bag down by the door and started walking over to the bed.

"Close the door," Steve said, opening the covers up for you to slide in.

You stopped halfway through the room and gave him a confused look. "Why?"

Steve blinked before he gave an awkward chuckle. "Are you serious?" he asked and when you didn't move, he tilted his head to the side. "For privacy perhaps?"

You remained standing in the middle of the room. You couldn't remember the last time you slept with the door closed. Such privacy wasn't allowed at home. Privacy - according to your father - meant that you were up to no good. Turning back to the door, you reached out and grabbed the handle.

"Babe?" Stevemurmured, sounding worried. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you mumbled and pulled the door closed. For a few seconds you stood and waited, as if - at any moment - you'd hear booming footsteps coming down the hall, but nothing happened. You couldn't help but laugh when you turned around to face Steve. "I'm good," you chuckled and hurried to join him in bed.

Steve pulled you into his arms and peppered your face with kisses. "You absolute weirdo,” he said between kisses, pinching your cheeks when he pulled back to look at you. “You don’t have doors that close at home?”

You smiled so much your cheeks ached, keeping your arms firmly wrapped around him when you shook your head. “Nope. Privacy’s for degenerates, or so my dad says,” you told him. “Haven’t your parents taught you anything?” You asked with no small amount of sarcasm.

“I was actually raised by wolves out in the woods. My so-called parents just happened to find me in a ditch somewhere and thought my hair would be a nice addition to the gene pool,” Steve said. His smile slowly faded as he laid down and rested his head on one of the pillows. “When are we going to talk?” he asked.

“About you being raised by wolves?”

Steve pinched you. “No, weirdo. About the issues,” he said and gestured around the two of you. “Let’s face it, your dad is an asshole. I know you’ve tried to hide it but you’re doing a shit job. Not that I’m doing much better. I haven’t seen my parents in a week and the last time I spoke with them was like four days ago.”

You sighed and laid down to face him. You looked into his eyes, trying to find any other emotion than genuine curiosity and care. You rarely talked about things like this. Your time with Steve had always been an escape from any thought of your day-to-day life. “What’s there to talk about? You clearly already got it figured out.”

“No, I don’t,” Steve said. “But that doesn’t actually matter to me. None of that really matters to me if I’m with you. You know that right?”

“Don’t get existential with me, Harrington,” you said but he was clearly not about to give up.

“But that’s totally part of sleepovers. You lie and talk about life in the middle of the night,” Steve smiled at you.

You smiled back. “You could just be saying that.”

Steve shrugged. “Maybe I’m sappy and sleep-deprived, or maybe I’m trying to tell you that I love you.”

You blinked. “You…?”

“I love you,” he whispered again.

The words echoed in your head and you felt your emotions bubble up and clog your throat. Your chest felt tight but in the best possible way. You wanted to hear him say it again. “Really?”

“I love you,” Steve repeated a third time and pulled you closer. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“No, I believe you,” you said. “I just… I just really like to hear that. More than I thought I would,” you admitted. “No one’s ever told me that before.” She looked into his eyes again, peering into the deep brown and trying to convey your own feelings. “I…” the words tangled on your tongue. You’d never said those words before and they felt impossible to even pronounce.

Steve kissed you, and you eagerly kissed him back. “You don’t have to say it,” he said when he pulled back. “But I wanted to tell you. It’s like that with a lot of things with you. Because I want to. Because I want you.”

You couldn’t agree more. “I want you too.”

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #gender neutral reader #hargrove!reader #stranger things #steve harrington x hargrove!reader

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moonlit-positivity · 2 years

Text

Ways To Cope: How to Handle Overwhelming Memories & Extreme Feelings

I. Controlling your environment

When you start to feel panicked & overwhelmed, try some of these things to make your environment feel safer:

White noise/comforting soundscapes like rainforest or ocean waves

Soft lighting/reduce the light source

Heating pad/warm wash cloth to face

Ask yourself, "how can I help ease the discomfort?"

Talk/ vent in safe spaces or to a pet or even just say it out loud to yourself

Allow yourself the physical body expression (ie face scrunching, crying, shake your arms, stuff that allows your body to cry too)

How do you define comfort? What sorts of things comfort you? Comfort foods, movies, TV shows, stuffed animals, blankets, soft hobbies? Or maybe you wanna be more destructive?

Stimulate your senses- perfumes, incense, candles, aromatics, lemon drops, sweet & sour candy, slime, play-doh, squeeze stress balls, rubix cube, fidgets, soft fabric, music, soundscapes, visual lights (if safe), darkness, fishtank screensavers on YouTube, just to name a few. Any ideas you'd like to try out?

Doomscroll to avoid ur feelings

Go for a walk

Stand up & stretch

Wiggle & dance

Take a nap

Change ur surroundings (walk to a different room)

If u struggle w suicidal thoughts & urges to self harm, re-evaluate ur home space to feel more safer. Remove all ur razors, ur weapons, knives, extension cords, glass, anything that makes u feel unsafe. Ask someone safe to hold your meds. Re-adjust your space accordingly (ie plastic silverware, surge protectors, disposable razors, etc)

Call ur therapist or call a local WARM line.

II. Controlling your inner voice

How you talk to yourself when you're stressed out & in a panic highly affects the way you feel. Thoughts like, "this is stupid. I shouldn't feel this way. I feel so useless. Nobody loves me." This is your inner child speaking from all the pain and misery that you endured. And you gotta learn how to be nice to your baby, because you were just a baby. When we are experiencing flashbacks & memories, that part of you that went through that-- that part is asking to be loved and held through that pain so you can finally feel it out.

So how do we comfort our inner child during this time? You might need to hear and say some of these things out loud to yourself:

Im so sorry you had to see that

It should have never happened

I know it hurts

This is so painful to go through

I love you

They betrayed us

We didn't deserve that

That was scary

I feel scared

I feel unsafe

I needed more from them

I needed you, too

That was horrible

That was horrific

I wish I could leave

I wish I could run away

No! Don't touch me!

I am not alone anymore

I will hold you safe

I will cherish every moment with you from now until forever

I will find ways to protect you

I will always listen to what you have to say

I will never betray you again

We can get through this together

We are safe now

That was exhausting

It may help to look into trauma therapy and other sources to help you talk about and understand what you went through on a deeper level. But at the core, these are the kinds of validation you need to hear to get through what you're going through. It hurts like hell that no one can really give you that or even understand what you're going through, so please try to be a little kinder and understanding of yourself through this process. You are worth the effort of healing. You can get through this. We can survive this together.

|||. Reducing the panic

The work is not done yet. Now let's take a moment to do some self care.

Take a deep breath

Notice the tension in your body- is your chest tight? Are your hands shaking? Is your body paralyzed out of fear?

Take another deep breath

Ask yourself permission to touch your body in this moment and honor your response.

If you're not safe with touch, proceed to the next step. If you are okay with touch, try these coping skills:

butterfly hugs- put a hand over ur heart and gently pat

Cross ur arms over your chest and hold ur shoulders

Rub ur shoulders in a soothing motion

Rub your legs in a soothing motion

What other ways would you like to be touched? Re-introduce yourself to safe touch in these moments. You are absolutely allowed to touch & comfort your own body-- but only if you'd like to do so.

If touch is a no-go, then there are still other coping skills we can do to help our bodies release these pent up emotions:

Sway gently from side to side

Stand up and stomp your legs

Allow your body to shake

Allow your face to scrunch up & express your pain/disgust/etc

Do a set of 5-10 jumping jacks if needed

Punch the air

Cry, scream, and shout

Allow yourself to make noise, exasperated sighs and moans of pain

Roll your neck

Wiggle your arms

Roll your shoulders

Clench & unclench ur fists

Remember to take slow deep breaths while moving

In the moments after a panic, you might feel exhausted beyond belief. It might help to take a break and do something fun. Video games, puzzles, snuggle w a blanket, something soothing from your list above

Keeping a journal can help you vent and keep track of your memories & progress

Talk with a trauma informed therapist about EMDR

Follow your favorite self help blogs that promote awareness for trauma recovery and somatic healing

Write down your favorite affirmations & stick em on ur fridge

IV. Random distraction techniques & coping skills

Hold a piece of ice in your hand; throw it down your back

Jump down a YouTube rabbit hole. My favorites are carpet cleaning videos, power washing videos, seafloor exploration, jungle living, stan twitter, etc.

Jigsaw puzzles

Reading a good book

Tv/movies

Video games

Baking

Gardening

Making jewelry/arts & crafts

Teach yourself something new

Word search puzzles, sudoku, wordle, etc

Card games like solitaire & free cell

Fantasy card games like Yu-Gi-Oh!, MTG, & Pokemon

Start a collection

Cry

Daydream

Learn how to cook

Be nice to a stranger

List your positive qualities

Draw/Color/Paint

Write a story or poetry

Join a fandom

Go for a walk

Find your local recreational center

Go to the park

Play Pokemon Go

Talk to someone you trust

Organize your space

Look for free classes at your local community college

Visit the library, they always have social events

Volunteer at an animal shelter

Volunteer at a retirement home

Stuffed animals

Get a pet

Volunteer at the local food bank

Be gentle with yourself

Tell yourself "I can make it through this"

Please remember that you are loved, you are safe, & you are worth the effort.

🌺

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #boundaries #mental health #healing #traumatic memories #advice #life advice #ways to cope #coping skills #toxic parenting #toxic relationships #relationships #communication #trauma healing #inner child work #inner child healing

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lilac-5ky · 2 years

Note

Hiya! I was reading your Takasugi w/ pregnant s/o (I LOVED it) and was thinking if you could write something similar for Gintoki?

A/N: Hi, hi! Aw, I'm glad you did and I'm sooooo sorry it took ages to get to this request!

Dadtoki Gintoki as a Father

this is 100% his reaction at the pregnancy. no doubt. I dare anyone claim that Gintoki wouldn't make a great dad. Not only have we seen Dadtoki raise Kagura and Shinpachi, but his relationship with most people reflect his role as a caregiver and protector of some sorts. He is the kind of guy who is there for everyone and although acts as if it's not that big of a deal, so many people depend on him for a reason. Despite all that, Gin seems to be oblivious to the fact that he'd make up for an amazing father and a pregnancy would initially fill him with anxiety.

WARNING: Mostly fluff with some spice here and there ^^

When his S/O announces her pregnancy to him:

Utter shock. He just drops whatever it is that he is doing and stares at her like she just claimed that she is a flat earther. Gin is not the world's most cautious person but he'd never thought that one day he'd get to screw up this majorly.

Once the information would begin to register, he'd try to calculate the days, making sure that they add up. He'd ask you if you were certain, if you had seen a doctor, if you had gotten the test, if you had asked a shaman for extra confirmation. Basically he'd do whatever he could in order to find a way out of this.

Considering you had done all of the aforementioned things, then he might even ask you if there was a chance you could abort it. It's not as if he hates children or as if he detests the idea that much. More like, he doesn't feel confident in his fathering skills and would always state that he is not ready or that it's too soon, even if the two of you were dating for quite a while.

On the other hand, he doesn't have a stable income and can barely afford feeding himself and Kagura, taking care of a baby would break him financially. So, because of his insecurities and financial situation, I don't see him as someone who'd be overjoyed. He might even go full asshole mode on you without realizing it.

Potentially, he'd need some time to himself after hearing the news. He is too stunned to think properly and the longer he stays around you, the more stupid shit he will spew. He just needs to be on his own for a while, perhaps in the company of a drink. Or two. Or a bottle. Or an entire bar, even.

Gintoki would drink in order to cope with the situation, perhaps to even try ignoring it, but that wouldn't work. His thoughts would cloud his brain, demanding for answers to questions such as; Am I someone who can provide for family? Do I deserve one in the first place? Is it okay to have others truly depend on me and for me to depend on them? He is really worried about being an awful father because he never really had a father in his life either. The closest father figure to him was Shouyou sensei and we all know how that ended up. I feel like because of what he did back then to him, he'd reflect his guilt at his unborn child.

But, despite all of these thoughts that keep holding him back, Gintoki never runs away from his own responsibilities. No matter how tough a situation is, he deals with it, and so, when he comes back to you completely wasted, he'll let you know that he is on board. You chose him to be the father of your child and that means something to him. Even if he's still not sold on the idea of fatherhood, he has a debt to both you and your child and he won't run away from it anymore.

I gotta say though, don't expect to make too much sense of drunk Gin's slurs. Other than the words baby and father, you won't be able to understand where he is getting at, but when he falls asleep with his head resting on your belly, you will know.

Oh and, don't expect him to really get into detail about his previous reaction. Gin is NOT someone who shares his trauma with others. If you ask him, best case scenario he'll claim that children are dirty and a bother and the last thing he needs is a toddler running Yorozuya down. Or that he could never possibly take care of a child because he doesn't want to compete for your love. Yes, he can be that petty if it means throwing you off.

During the pregnancy:

So, once it's been settled that the two of you are having a baby, I'd imagine Gin and the rest of the Yorozuya undergoing certain changes, especially regarding their appearance. Gin will try to look more formal and might even cosplay a father type character like Umibozu, because as long as he looks the part, he can succeed as a father. Of course the changes will be ridiculous and he will start acting like a different person for a while. Might start scolding you on random behavior and act full on like a guardian/husband/father to you, even if the two of you aren't even married. If he catches you drinking alcohol or eating sweets, he'll confiscate them (and consume them while you are not around) and will try to enforce certain "healthier" habits on you with Kagura's aid. Spoiler alert, such habits won't be any healthy or successful, it's just the two of them going dumbass mode.

If you let him know that he doesn't need to do all that weird crap in order to become father material, he will start easing back to his previous self with time, completely dropping the strict father look. He'll go back to being the childish and immature Gin you know and love, sitting in his office all day long, complaining, eating parfaits and reading jump. It's all or nothing with him, really.

To be honest, I don't see Gin as someone who'd shift his habits or personality because of your pregnancy. Other than his short lived phase of cosplaying a good dad, he won't really do anything different than he usually does. If you ask him for something, he'll send Kagura or Shinpachi to go fetch it as he'd be too lazy to do that, so you'd better keep your whims to their bare minimum. Buuuut, if he really has to be the one to go outside, he'll drag himself to the nearest convenience store, coming back with the one thing you asked for and then ten other useless things of his own, claiming that those things are his compensation for obliging you. This guy, somehow.

Also, I'd like to note that Gintoki would not actively show his enthusiasm for your pregnancy. He won't be one of those stupid dads who constantly touch their partner's belly and talk to the baby. He has acknowledged its existence and might ask you about the health of you two, but that's about it. No special treatment. However, expect him to tag along to your official visits to the gynecologist and even asking for a copy of the ultrasounds. He won't make it into a big deal, but he'll be there and will keep stuff to commemorate it! In his own way, he'll show you that he cares and isn't completely indifferent.

Something I wanna add is that while you are pregnant, expect a lot of people to drop by Yorozuya with gifts and wishes for you and the baby. From Shinpachi and Otae, to the Shinsengumi and the rest of the Joui 4 (with the exception of Takasugi perhaps, although I can see him sending a card or something behind Gin's back), all of Gin's friends and acquaintances will be involved in your pregnancy, as well as the upbringing of the child but I'll get into it later. Point is, Yorozuya is a big family and the second you bear the silver haired samurai's spawn, you and the baby will both instantly become part of that family, which I honestly think is a great thing!

When it comes to living arrangements, whether you start living with him at Yorozuya or not, I don't see that being too much of a problem. He won't mind either, but perhaps it'd be best if you let him keep Yorozuya his own thing, even if you spend your entire day there. Gin is someone who doesn't really like clingy women and would rather have his own space. If you ask him to move in with you, he just might do that but there's no denying that a tiny part in him would be miserable.

I feel like the less changes your pregnancy brings to his life, the easier it will be for him to handle it, so keeping the pressure to its bare minimum works best for Gin. But, if you choose to stay away from him, I can see him paying more visits to you and even spending the nights over. He knows you can protect yourself, yet he feels more at ease when he can do that himself. After all, Gin shows his love and affection in the form of protecting others.

A final aspect that I'd like to discuss before moving to the 'during birth' part, is the kind of impact your pregnancy has when it comes to your sex life. In all honestly? Not much. He'd definitely tone it down when it comes to the kinkier stuff and he'd try to be a bit gentler, but other than that, it'd pretty much be the same as before. Also, I hate myself for saying it but... perhaps pregnancy might awaken another kink of his which is uhm... daddy kink. If you call him daddy, at first he will be taken aback but he surprisingly liked the sound of it! In an odd way, it turns him on that you view him as someone good enough to be a father, it's like a form of validation that he'd never dare ask. So, keep doing that but be careful with overdoing it, if he gets too excited, things might get a bit rough for you.

During birth:

He'll be around but also not around. It's not that he doesn't want to be with you in that room, but last minute panic will get to him first. Gin will accompany you to the hospital along with Kagura, Shinpachi and Katsura most likely, but will insist on staying outside. Births can be a bit too intense for him and I don't think it's the kind of sight he wishes to see. However, if you tell him that you need him with you, he'll succumb and join. Just don't blame him if he gets a bit fainthearted!

Once the baby is born, he'll definitely pick it up, perhaps even before you get the chance to do so. Immediately, he'll start comparing it to himself, noticing every way the two of them are similar and every way they differ. Even if he previously wasn't too warm regarding the whole baby idea, holding the baby in his arms will help him come to terms with it. There is no doubt anymore, this is your baby, the new most precious thing to him.

But knowing Gin, he'll probably make an unnecessary comment such as 'huh, I never knew babies could turn out this fat' or 'hmph, he took after you' or uh 'WHY IS HIS/HER HAIR SILVER YET COMPLETELY STRAIGHT'. You know, basically anything to break the ice of this emotional moment. Gin is Gin, good luck raising two children !

Despite his childish tendencies, Gin does feel happy about your newly created family! It's a new chapter in his life and he'll do anything in his power to support and protect the both of you, living the family life he never got to live for himself. (Funnily enough, I mentioned a similar thing in my Takasugi version of father headcanons, but I see the two of them being quite similar in this aspect.)

Raising the child:

Lemme start by saying that it will be a wonder if his child doesn't turn into a mini version of him.

In the first few years of his child's life, Gintoki will participate a lot, although doing so while nagging. He will feed the baby (you must keep unsuitable food away), he will wake up in the middle of the night if the baby cries (begging it to shut up while having a crying contest with it), he will even change its diaper (in the most ridiculously wrong way ever). His parenting won't be perfect but he will try his best, in his own way!

Also, because of how childish Gin is, I see him being able to play with the baby just fine... although... don't be too surprised if the kind of games they play together are a bit unsuitable for the baby's age. You had a kid with Gintoki, what did you expect?

Assuming the child has aged a bit and it's time for a name to be assigned to them properly and what not, I feel like there will be a huge debate about who the baby's godparents will be. Even if neither you nor Gin ask anyone specifically, everyone will make it their business and try to butt in. Namely people like Katsura, Kagura, Otae, Kondo and perhaps Sougo. They all feel entitled for different reasons; Katsura claiming that he should be the one to do it, as he's shared the most with Gintoki, Kagura arguing that as the female lead she has to be the one, Otae counter arguing that Kagura is too young, Kondo wanting to go through with it only because Otae is participating and Sougo because, well... let's just say he doesn't have the purest intentions. I can see Kyuubei and Sacchan joining the fight too, with Hijikata, Hasegawa and Shinpachi choosing to stay out of it.

Most likely the baby will end up with either far too many godparents or no godparents at all. But, in any case, the people of Kabukicho won't be the only ones to take an interest in the baby. I can see Tatsuma sending extravagant -and oftentimes living- gifts for the baby, visiting Gin and his new family whenever he has some time between his trips. On the other hand, while Takasugi won't exactly consider visiting them, he'd be sending cards, mainly asking the child (when it gets a bit older) to join the Kiheitai, offering to 'save it' from Gin's idiocy. Well, he is not being 100% serious, does it mostly to spite Gintoki and all, but wouldn't be against the idea either.

Whenever the two of you are busy, either with your work or because you want to have some privacy and proper date time, Shinpachi will gladly accept to baby sit, with Kagura occasionally joining in. This is one of the many times you feel appreciative for Gin's friends as you can finally manage to spend some time with him. If you aren't exhausted from all the parenting, he'd take you to a place where you can have some fun, possibly away from everyone and everything. Mainly, he wants to make sure said place doesn't have any crying babies in a radius of at least 50 kilometers.

Most of the time, your alone time though, involves the two of you lazing out, too tired to even budge an inch from the house. I feel like Gin is very lazy and with the baby and all this worsens, causing your sex life to take a direct hit. However, with time, he'll bounce back to his old habits, finding opportunity for quickies with you left and right. I don't think he'll want to have more kids anytime soon so he'll be extra careful about contraception this time, which isn't a necessarily bad thing. One mini Gin should be enough for now.

Now when it comes to actually raising the kid, once it turns out a bit older, I feel like Gin will prefer it if his child chooses its own way in life. For fun only, I can see him entertaining the idea of having them take over Yorozuya one day, asking for early pension and what not, but at the end of the day, he'd just want his child to create its own path. He'd support it no matter what and would try to guide it, oftentimes going back to Shouyou's teachings considering he was the father figure in his life. He won't let his own bushido define the kid's life, but he'd appreciate it if they take it into consideration. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter who his child turns out to be, as long as they are a decent human being with a clear soul. That's what matters to Gintoki the most, after all.

On another note, I expect some petty behavior from his side if you end up coddling the child too much. For example, if the kid tells you that they love you and you return the affection, he might say something like 'your mother loves you but she loves me the most', borderline terrorizing the kid, but that only happens if he is in a very bad mood. Most of the time, he will sit in his corner and pout, expecting you to kiss him goodnight just like you did for you child, even going as far as to open his mouth, expecting you to feed him the food directly when it's dinner time. Also, definitely the type to eat baby food out of curiosity, ending up really liking it and stealing it when no one is looking. Some of his behavior will be quite troubling and childish but also endearing in an odd way.

Hmm I'm not sure what else there is to say about Dadtoki. If you ask me, I feel like he'd turn out to be a pretty good father, someone who isn't overbearing, someone who guides his child, making sure to be there if they fall to pick them up, without necessarily holding their hand during the entire duration. He would be affectionate without going overboard and obviously care and raise them with love. Even if he has doubts about the whole thing, with you support and the support of the people around him, he will find the confidence to fit the role of a father perfectly. Plus, even if he doesn't see it, he was already bound to be great, being a father figure for both Kagura and Shinpachi in the first place.

Overall, Dadtoki reigns supreme and no matter how much financial difficulties or his weird shenanigans affect your lives, you will always pull through. That's what family does. Family is something Gin always longed for whether he speaks of it or not, so having one of his own will help him be more open, content and come to terms with his past and his own self. At the end, the two of you won't be raising just your child but also a healthier version of himself, if that makes sense. (never forget that Gin has so much trauma even if he never mentions it)

#gintoki x reader #gin x reader #gintama x reader #sakata gintoki #gin hcs #gintoki headcanons #gintoki hcs #gintama headcanons #anon request #gintama #gintama imagine #gintama fanfiction #gintoki imagine #gintoki fanfiction

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cult-of-dollbabies · 1 year

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Alright here's some thoughts on s2 ep5, spoiler warning

I had to rewatch/skim through it this morning bc the fight scene gave me such secondhand embarrassment that it literally fucked up my processing and the whole time I was like 😀 is this real.

Watching it again was fine but dear god the puppetry.. Anywho, the moments with Lexi and Nadine were my favorite by far, Nadine drawing a relation to assure Lexi she's safe to come to,, "you know how moms are, they do their best to make you happy, right?" And this is what made Lexi come out, she knows some things about neglectful mothers, and losing a parent, I think that in a way she wanted to be there for Nadine, too. They're there for each other despite hardly knowing one another, and yes Lexi seems to still have bully tendencies but I think Nadine will influence her development in being better, and especially her recovery. Nadine lightening the mood, helping her collect the pills and flush them was so tender and a huge step, if I'm being honest I shed a few tears, I love them sm (also Nadine autism real)

Love how hard it is to tell if Scout (or good chucky.. since thats rlly the name theyre settled on) is faking or not. Hes raised some red flags, he still has impeccable aim w/ blades, saying sum creepy shit in a suspiciously childlike manner, (i know this is the same as the last ep but this time it almost feels emphatic) Chucky is known for his manipulation and hiding in plain sight tactics, if it turns out it was all an act, can't say I'd be too surprised, "like I finally figured out what I'm for" was actually quite eery.

...that being said I am NOT immune to chucky manipulation this was fucking CUTE

Cant wait for Father Bryce to die, sister Catherine's the only one with sense clearly, that's all I have to say about that

I'm on Devon and lexis side but on the other hand I don't think Chucky could even pretend to be nice, let alone admit to finding god or something behind a closed door ( I fuckin lost it when he held the Bible up, ain't no way, and where'd he pull that from??) and also be willing to get baptized , personally i don't think hes faking but more like the brainwashing is wearing off.. like a ticking time bomb. I thought Jake baptizing him was strange at first but watching again it feels like he was only trying to help Scout feel better, like with a child, and we all know by now Jake is attached and using him to cope with losing his foster brother, (another scout-might-be-faking-and-manipulating-jake bit, the joker line) it's understandable, but dammit Jake please stop disregarding your boyfriends very real concerns! And Nadine definitely doesn't know what Chuckys capable of, yet, but I feel like she'll find out very soon.

the series feels more shocking than scary, and some of the humor between serious parts just feels too silly for me, I want to take it seriously but I can't

...now. About the end, boy oh boy, this is where I'm sour

Seen and had a couple ideas for who the hell Cornell was and its.. bald.. Russian chucky? Tf is that? I think they were trying to do a twist but it's .. so underwhelming. And as if he hasn't been through enough we come to find Andy's been.. getting tortured, for what we can assume to be a year, hes gotta be so broken, he doesn't know Kyle's alive, either. That is.. it's such a letdown, I'm so tired of seeing Andy be tormented, I'm not watching this to get sad, I prefer the theory that he was maiming those chuckys, at least that way he'd have some kind of payback and not another year worth of trauma. Im assuming Kyle, Glenda and Nica will try to find him and it cant happen soon enough. I actually lost sleep over this.. I'm serious, not in a fear or disturbed way either in a for the love of god just let him be happy for more than five seconds please kinda way :(

Hopefully it gets better, now I just want to see Andy be saved, not very ready to see the state he's in though..

#ill make other posts but writing this took me all. day.#chucky series #chucky spoilers #as always id love to hear you guys thoughts

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