#hi hi! i wasn't sure what verse you'd like so i left it a little vague

[avatar-anna]

Champagne Problems

so...this is super long, the longest fic i've written in a hot minute. like 18.k words long. i wasn't going to post it until part two was underway, but i'm kind of excited to share it. here is the aftermath of champagne problems...

Part Two

*.*

"Don Perignon, you bought it, no crowd of friends applauded, your hometown skeptics called it Champagne problems."

Your fingers moved across the keys of the grand piano as you mumbled softly to yourself, only loud enough that the voice recorder on your phone would pick up on it. This wasn't your typical method of songwriting, you weren't even sure there was a song to actually write; but the melody had been haunting you for days, pressing against your mind until you finally sat down and played it.

It wasn't often you thought of the events that occurred a year and a half ago. You usually did everything in your power not to think about that night, knowing that nothing ever good came out of dwelling on that particular wrinkle of your past. You only looked forward, sometimes hoping that if you didn't think about what happened, your memories of the worst night of your life would eventually disappear from your mind altogether.

But there was something about this melody that brought that night to the forefront of your memory. You'd played it over and over on the piano for a few minutes, waiting for the words to come. Your mind kept circling back to the past, and after trying to avoid it, you finally let emotion win out. No one was in the studio with you anyway, it would be safe to unlock that particular box. Just for a few minutes.

"She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked up in the head," you said to yourself, the last part coming out as an afterthought. You laughed a little to yourself, remembering the disapproving stares and the whispers behind your back that people always thought went unnoticed by you. "But you'll find the real thing instead. She'll patch up your tapestry that I shed."

Despite knowing that leaving your would-be fiance was the right choice for you, breaking up with him was the hardest thing you'd ever done. It still hurt to remember that night, to recall the look of absolute devastation on his face when you stopped him from reaching into his pocket for the little velvet box you knew was in there. He didn't deserve to be wrecked so thoroughly, especially by someone like you. He had been sweet and kind and gentlemanly. He treated you like a princess and defended you to his family when they didn't approve. He was everything a man should've been to you and more.

And all you could do in return was prove his family right.

You stopped murmuring lyrics for a moment, letting that last thought float through the empty room on somber notes. You thought about your ex now, wondering where he was now and hoping he was well. You hoped he was in love and happy, that he'd forgotten all about you. He deserved all the best things that love could grant a person. You wanted that for him. You wanted someone who had the capacity for the kind of love he wanted to give.

Repeating the last few lines again, the next few thoughts came pouring out of you, the words carrying a bittersweet taste to them.

"Your mom's ring in your pocket, her picture in your wallet, you won't remember all my Champagne problems."

The song tapered off soon after that, and you realized there was nothing left in you to say. You felt lighter afterwards, as if pushing some of those long-forgotten memories out of you and onto the grand piano eased the weight you'd been carrying around on your shoulders for the last eighteen months. Quickly stopping the recording, you set a reminder on your phone to listen to it tomorrow and write down everything you'd said. The recording itself was lengthy, long pauses stretching between lyrics as you worked through your memories and attempted to vocalize them. Hopefully something was there to actually mold into verses and a chorus, if not, it was a rather odd but surprisingly satisfying therapy session.

Gathering your things into the bag at your feet, you stood up from the piano, stretching your arms above your head. It was easy to get lost in a good melody, but your poor body always paid the price if you spent too much time bent over a guitar or piano.

It was as you stretched that you realized someone was at the door. He was leaning against the doorframe, watching as you shouldered your bag and slipped your shoes back on your socked feet. He didn't say anything as you walked over to him, just stepped out of the way so you could walk out of the studio. Harry normally wasn't this quiet, in fact, he could be quite the chatterbox if the mood struck him. But his silence told you he'd probably heard more of your session than you would've liked. Because one thing Harry liked to do in all his chattering was pepper you with questions about yourself, which was annoying since you were constantly trying to have him not get to know you.

"Coffee?" was all he said as you walked toward the elevator at the end of the hall. The sleeve of his patterned sweater brushed against your arm, and you resisted the urge to lean into him. He always wore the coziest clothes when in the studio, and it made you want to walk just a little bit closer to his side, for no other reason than the feel of soft material on your arm and not the person wearing them.

Nodding, you said, "Sure."

Harry qucikly pressed the button when you reached the elevator, and you couldn't help but laugh a little. In the time you'd spent not getting to know him, you discovered that he was the kind of person that just had to press the elevator buttons. It didn't matter how many people he was with, it was like he took joy in something as simple as getting to press a button and watch it light up beneath his finger. He'd actually speed-walked to get ahead of you a couple times just so he could press the down button. It was kind of annoying, and perhaps a little childish, but you'd surprisingly grown to find it endearing. A quirk of Harry's that just made him who he was.

The ride down the elevator was quiet, and it wasn't until you were out on the street that he finally spoke. "I'm thinking about getting a pet."

You'd been bracing yourself for the inevitable questions about the song you'd been recording, and when they didn't come, your shoulders relaxed almost imperceptibly, though you were sure Harry noticed. "Really?"

"Yeah. All my friends are disgustingly in love," Harry said with a playful shudder. "I'm feeling like a third wheel most days, so I thought I would seek companionship of the furry variety. Wait, that came out wrong. I didn't mean—"

You chuckled at his stuttering, at the flush creeping up his neck and warming his cheeks. "I know what you mean," you said, sparing him any more embarrassment. "So what are you thinking then? Dog? Cat? Hamster?"

"Well, you see, that's the thing," he said, quickly recovering from his chagrin. "I'm not sure I have the time necessary to devote to training a puppy, but I'm also worried about getting a cat and it absolutely hating me, and..."

You listened as Harry explained in great detail the pros and cons of each kind of domestic animal one could have. He spoke animatedly with his hands, looking at you with those big green eyes of his, as if to make sure you were following his train of thought.

You never planned on befriending Harry, and even now you weren't sure that whatever was going on between you was considered a friendship. You'd always been the type to keep to yourself, especially after what happened with your ex. You'd not only lost him after the break up, but friends too, friends who thought that what you did to your ex was despicable and reprehensible and not worth keeping a friendship over, picking sides when you hadn't realized there were any. It hurt to lose so many people in one fell swoop, and you decided soon after that you were better off alone. Except for your brothers of course, but all of you kept so busy that it was hard to keep track of one another on a good day.

Outside of them, you realized it was hard to hurt someone when there was no one around you to hurt.

But Harry was different. You'd seen him around the building where you worked on your songs—in the hallways, waiting for the elevator (after pushing the button, of course), at the vending machine, on your way out of the studio or while he was entering it to start his session. The first thing you noticed was that he was never alone. Well, that wasn't entirely true. The first thing you really noticed was his smile, how it lit up his entire face and showcased the most adorable dimples you'd ever seen. But since you refused to admit that, the first thing you noticed was that he was never alone.

Harry was always coming and going with one or two or sometimes three people around him. He was always engaged in some kind of conversation, his head always turned as he listened aptly to what his friend was saying. It seemed so odd to you that he was hardly ever by himself. It was like a foreign language to you, and you imagined your constant solitude felt the same to him.

"Anytime you want to weigh in here would be great."

"If you want a pet, get one," you said simply.

Harry rolled his eyes as he held open the door to the coffee shop a couple blocks down the street from the building where you both worked, as if he was expecting anything other than your usual direct way of speaking. "If you don't keep this conversation going, then I'm going to have to ask about that incredibly depressing song you were working on, so please, indulge me in the great pet debate of twenty-eighteen."

For the most part, Harry was a pretty easy going guy. He had no problem carrying a conversation, and knew when not to pry. As the months went by, though, he knew how to get you to talk, how to find trap doors in the fortified walls you kept around yourself before you even knew they were there. It would be frustrating if his questions didn't always come with an endearing smile.

So you shrugged, eager to steer clear of any topics regarding your past. "I don't know, I'm a little biased. I've always been a dog person. Buddy's my best friend."

"First of all, I'm offended by the fact that I am not your best friend, and second, since when do you have a dog?"

The conversation paused while you and Harry went up to the counter to order you coffees. Both of you went there enough that the staff knew what you liked—dirty chai for you and an americano for him. It also meant you didn't have to deal with the barista having a mini-freak out at the realization that Harry Styles was in their coffee house. People tended to interrupt your conversations with Harry regularly—on the street, in line for coffee, at the table—but he never seemed bothered by it. He always smiled and indulged in a couple minutes of conversation and the occasional picture before waving goodbye. He always apologized to you afterward, but after the first couple times it happened, you waved him off. None of it was actually his fault, and seeing him interact with his fans became something you actually enjoyed watching. And it was perhaps a very small reminder as to why you preferred to just write songs for other artists, not perform them. You didn't need that kind of attention. For Harry, he seemed to come alive like a flower in bloom.

You? You would probably just wilt.

When you and Harry sat down with your drinks, he raised his brows for you to continue. Wrapping your hands around your cup, you shrugged again. "I've had Buddy for about a year now."

"What kind of dog?"

"Mostly pitbull, I think. I found him in an alley behind a restaurant once, and I know what shelters do to pitbulls, so I adopted him."

You'd come to think of the whole thing as Buddy finding you.

"And you named him Buddy?"

"Yeah, I don't know, after Buddy Holly I guess." You'd grown up listening to classic rock because your brothers did, and the name just kind of made sense to you. And he was just so cute, he was your little buddy. Big buddy now, you supposed. You thought he deserved the cutest name for the cutest boy in your life.

The rest of your time in the coffee house was filled with chatter, mostly from Harry. He talked a little more about the Great Pet Debate, then about the project he and his team was working on. An album, though they were only just getting started seeing as Harry just came back from tour. He tried peppering you with the occasional question, knowing if he asked too many you'd clam up and shut down. It was almost like Harry knew that you were fighting getting to know him, but that it wasn't just him, it was everyone. He was patient with you for some reason, though, seemingly content to chip away at the brick walls around you. Even if all he had was a spoon.

"So...What were you working on at the studio?" Harry finally asked.

You knew it was coming, so answering didn't seem so daunting. "I'm not really sure. The melody had been in my head for days, and I finally decided to play around with it."

"A perfect non-answer from Y/n L/n, everyone," Harry said, though you knew he was joking. His eyes were crinkled with mirth as he hid behind his cup, his brows raising to give you a knowing look.

Nothing about your past was easy to talk about, so you just didn't. After your breakup, you didn't even tell your brothers the finer details, not wanting to relive it or face all their questions. It all brought you an overwhelming sense of shame and despair. But maybe there had been something cathartic about your session today and it left you feeling lighter and open because you found yourself sharing more with Harry.

"It...reminded of me and my ex, so I kind of just let it all out. I'm not even sure what I was doing constituted as songwriting, but," you looked down at your mug. "The melody dredged up some old memories, I guess."

"It sounded painful," Harry said, his voice taking on a soft, sincere tone.

You knew he meant well, but the sympathy made you skittish. "It's fine. It was a long time ago."

"Right, of course," Harry said, catching on to your mood change. "Well, um, my friends and I are having a little get-together of sorts this Saturday. You should come."

"A party?"

"No. A get-together. Very different," Harry corrected.

It made sense, the last time Harry tried to invite you to a party his friend was throwing, you politely declined, claiming they weren't really your thing. They weren't, but it was more that having friends wasn't really your thing.

You wanted to say no again, but when you met Harry's eyes, something in you hesitated. His expression was open, earnest, like he would genuinely be upset if you said you wouldn't come. You didn't quite understand why he wanted to spend time with you so much. Maybe you felt a little bad for always pushing him away, or maybe you were actually warming up to him.

"I, um...that might be fun," you said, not sure if it was nerves or excitement swimming in your belly.

The way Harry's face lit up made saying you would come worth it.

After a few more minutes at the coffee house, you and Harry went your separate ways, but not before he made you promise to join you on one of your morning walks with Buddy Holly. Something must've been in the air today, because you found yourself nodding before heading down the street away from him.

On your way home, you got a phone call from your oldest brother Evan. "Hey, Evan. How's life treating you in the Big Apple?"

"Just fine. It'd be a lot better if I got to see my kid sister more often. Are you still coming for Thanksgiving?"

Of your three brothers, Evan was the one who checked up on you the most. Perhaps that was the nature of being the oldest of four, but he had always been the most responsible, the one to keep you and your other brothers in line. Well, mostly your other brothers. But Evan had always looked out for you. He was the only one you told at length about your breakup. You'd confided in him all your life, and he was coincidentally the only one of your brothers you could count on not to go and beat up on your ex or his family.

"Flight's booked and everything," you told him. "Not sure if I can swing a trip to the lake house, though."

Despite your less than ideal upbringing, you and your brothers had all done pretty well for yourselves. No thanks to your parents, seeing as you all shared a dad who never liked to be with the same woman twice. But you and your brothers all stuck together through thick and thin, supporting and celebrating and sticking together despite the differing parentage between the four of you. And now you were all scattered, your brothers Andrew and Hayden were professional athletes and Evan was a bigshot lawyer. Once you moved out of your hometown, you really only saw your brothers for holidays. And the occasional surprise visit from Andrew, though that hadn't happened in a while.

"That's okay," Evan said. "Next time."

"Next time," you agreed. Then, "How's the family?"

"Good. Sammy's gotten so big. And Laura's already showing."

You grinned as you imagined Evan's family. He deserved a happy ending with a loving family after raising you and the idiots you called brothers. "Another team member for the family football game."

"Speaking of the family football game," Evan said, and you mentally cursed yourself. "Laura's been dying to know if she should set an extra spot at the table."

Immediately, your mind went to Harry, but you quickly whisked that thought away. "Nope. Unless Hayden's got a new girlfriend."

"Really? No one?"

You narrowed your eyes even though Evan couldn't see your expression. "Why are you fishing? Gossip is Andy's thing."

"What? I'm not fishing!" Evan spluttered, but you just scoffed and waited. Evan might've been a shark in the courtroom, but he'd always been terrible at lying to you. "Fine. Laura was reading one of her gossip magazines, and you know I don't pay attention to those, but you know, I might have seen someone who looks an awful lot like you pictured alongside a former boy band member."

Well, shit. You knew that was a reality of being Harry's acquaintance, but you'd always done your best to not pay any attention to it. So far it had done a good job, but now it was coming to bite you in the ass.

"It's nothing, Evan. He's an artist. I'm a songwriter. We work in the same building," you said.

"Fine! Fine," Evan said, and you could just picture him holding his hands up in surrender the way he'd done since you were a teenager. "I just thought I'd ask now and try to soften the blow. I'll just leave you to the wolves."

"Damn you, Evan," you muttered. Evan was the easy brother. It was Andrew and Hayden you had to look out for. They would interrogate you relentlessly, or worse, squeeze the life out of you until you caved. Sighing deeply through your nose, you said, "I will ask if Harry has plans for that weekend. And that is it."

"See? That wasn't so hard!"

You rolled your eyes. "I'll talk to you later."

"You love me!" Evan called just before hanging up.

The call ended just as you pulled up to your apartment. You sat back with a huff, marveling at the strings your brother managed to pull from thousands of miles away. But deep down, you knew Evan was just looking out for you. After everything that happened eighteen months ago, he'd been keeping a close eye. As close an eye as he could all the way from New York. But that was how things worked between you and your brothers. You all looked out for each other, and your older brothers acted as personal security guards to any and everyone who so much as looked at you the wrong way. It was both endearing and very annoying.

Very annoying. Now you had to invite Harry to Thanksgiving. Evan was so going to get it.

*.*

On Saturday, you found yourself standing in front of your mirror longer than you normally would've. Harry had used the term "get-together" as a means to ease your nerves, but now that the dreaded day had come, you realized you weren't sure what that meant in terms of dress code. Was this thing laid-back? What if casual still meant dressy to Harry and his friends? Harry usually walked around the studio in jeans and faded t-shirts, but he was still a celebrity. He could see this as an opportunity to dress up.

You looked at all the clothes spread out in your room. You'd changed an embarrassing amount of times now, but nothing seemed fitting for the occasion. I could always text him, you thought, biting your nail as you surveyed the tornado of clothes around you. Harry had given you your number earlier this week so he could text you his address. You hadn't wanted to, as it would open the flood gates for conversation outside the studio, but you eventually gave it up when he stared blankly at you after offering your email as an alternative.

Before you could think too long about it, you picked up your phone and sent a quick text. Before you even had a chance to set it down, Harry sent a reply.

Harry S: We're just chilling at my house. Dress as comfortably as you'd like :))

Well, that wasn't helpful at all, you thought, but didn't say to Harry. You went back to rummaging through your pile of clothes, creating a spot for Buddy when he ambled into your bedroom from the kitchen. In the end, you settled on something simple: jeans, platform shoes, and a colorful fleece jacket over a plain shirt. It felt silly to have wasted so much time on your wardrobe when all you were doing was going to see Harry. And his friends. And that was...intimidating.

The anxiety of meeting Harry's friends, of meeting anyone new, crept through you. You didn't want to go and face the inevitability of disappointing them. Your track record with friends was pretty abysmal. But you found yourself kissing Buddy's head and promising you wouldn't be gone long, and then you were getting in your car and plugging in the address Harry had given you.

The music playing in your car calmed you some. Etta James' voice was both familiar and comfortable, welcome feelings as you pulled up to Harry's house. House was a bit of an understatement, though. Maybe a villa, or an estate. The LA version of those sprawling castles that were all over Europe. Your shoulders were tense as you cruised up the long driveway, though your anxiety eased a bit when you saw that had seen about as much life and mileage parked up front as yours did.

Music was playing inside the house, you could hear the trill of soft guitar and the low hum of a male voice from outside, and you worried if anyone would be able to hear you as you knocked on the door. Thankfully, you only stood on Harry's doorstep for a minute or two, then Harry's familiar grin greeted you.

"You made it!" Harry said, pulling you over the threshold and in for a quick side hug. He looked down at you for a moment, his cheeks flushed and green eyes bright, perhaps from drinking. He shook his head a little before pulling you further into the house. "Come in, come in, everyone is just through here."

Harry led you further into his home, giving you a chance to look around. Despite the grandeur of the outside, Harry's house was actually quite cozy and inviting. Everything was in warm tones, and potted plants and bookshelves piled high with a mix of books and records with titles you couldn't read from this distance. His house looked actually lived in, which couldn't be said for some of the other celebrity homes you'd been in. It didn't happen often as you preferred to work alone, but you occasionally dabbled in writing sessions with other artists. Their homes looked much more modern, and much more cold, than Harry's did.

"My home in London is much smaller," Harry said, noticing your craned neck. Then he shrugged, looking a little sheepish. "But I liked the look of this place. It reminded me of a house I go to in Italy most summers."

"It's beautiful," you said. "I've always wanted to go to Italy."

"You've never been?"

You shook your head, admiring the arch leading into an open kitchen. "I was supposed to go for—"

For my birthday, you couldn't bring yourself to say. Gavin had planned a summer trip to Italy for your birthday, but that never happened. You surprised yourself by revealing that much, and by the way Harry's eyes lit up, you'd taken him by surprise too.

But he didn't press you to finish your thought. He just smiled and led you further into the kitchen. "Come on. You need a drink."

Harry talked while he fixed up your drink. He'd tried to persuade you to take a shot of tequila with him, his eyebrows wiggling up and down, a look on his face that you'd seen one too many times on your brothers when they were trying to stir up trouble. You declined with a laugh, opting for a glass of wine instead. Maybe a boring choice, Harry definitely thought so as he teased by saying, "Booooring!" but you needed to be sharp, and tequila tended to have the opposite effect, so red wine it was.

"Everyone's through here. I hope you like games because Kid brought a new one over and everyone has become quite invested."

Games? Is that what Harry Styles did on his evenings off? Play board games with his friends? Before you could ask, Harry led you into his living room, where everyone was in fact sitting around a rather spacious coffee table, a board game and playing cards spread out around it. It was a small group of about five or six. For some reason you expected more people, even though Harry said otherwise. They were all talking amongst themselves, talking strategy, you presumed, as you recognized the game as one of those territory-winning ones.

All the talking stopped, however, when Harry introduced you to the group.

You felt their eyes on you, judging, picking you apart where you stood. You began to curl in on yourself, wilting at the attention. Involuntarily, you took a step back, but Harry's hand was on your lower back, warm and comforting against you. You should've pulled away, but you didn't, thankful for at least some kind of familiarity among all the new.

It had been so long since you'd had to meet new people in a non-professional setting. You'd met with producers and artists and other industry people all the time, but there was always a wall of professionalism between you and them. You knew how to navigate that space with ease, but here, where people were sitting on pillows and holding playing cards, where you stood as the outlier among what was clearly a tight-knit group, you felt very much like a fish out of water. A fish in space.

"H—Hello," you managed to say, giving everyone a small wave.

One person got up. A young woman with short brown hair, winged eyeliner marking the corners of her eyes. Her smile was surprisingly warm, but what had your eyes widening even more was when she pulled you in for a hug, squeezing tight.

"I'm Sylvia," she said. "It's so nice to finally meet you."

"Finally?"

You probably shouldn't have said that, but you weren't expecting such a warm welcome.

"Harry talks about you constantly. I swear sometimes he purposely keeps you from us."

"That is not—That is not true," Harry said, speaking to you for a moment. He sounded serious, but his eyes were filled with amusement as if he was used to Sylvia's teasing.

Everyone else introduced themselves, and you tried to keep a smile on your face as you committed their names to memory. They were all part of Harry's "team" except for Sylvia—writers, producers, musicians. "And you?" you asked her as she pulled you down to sit next to her. Sylvia had insisted you be on her team while you learned how to play. She seemed nice, eager to get to know you, but you didn't trust it. Not yet.

"I'm a full-time mom most days, and a part-time life coach to this one," Sylvia joked. She seemed too young to be a mother, but you supposed they came in all shapes and sizes. "But I'm Harry's nutritionist. And friend when he's not being a pain in the ass."

There was a wry grin on the young woman's face that told you she was fond of Harry, and fond of teasing him, if said grin grew when Harry said, "Hey," was anything to go by. It eased your mind a bit, her kindness and obvious fondness for Harry. She spoke animatedly as she caught you up on the rules of the game and gossip from her yoga class. "They're all in love with that one, of course. Can't take him anywhere," she said with a nod in Harry's direction.

When you agreed to join Harry tonight, you figured you would spend your time with him. But Sylvia kept you occupied most of the evening, and he and his friends were rather invested in the game. You were content to watch, enjoying the playful bickering and shouts of surprise and celebration. It was interesting to see how they all interacted with each other. Harry and his friends sat and drank around his coffee table while you nursed your drink, observing with the sweet feeling of nostalgia swimming through your veins.

"Y/n?"

You jumped in your spot on the floor, your wine sloshing around in your glass a little. Thankfully, nothing poured out. You would've been mortified if you'd spilled red wine all over Harry's most likely exorbitantly expensive carpet.

Eyes flicking to a man with short blond hair, you said, "Sorry?"

Kid, you were pretty sure his name was, asked his question again. "Did you first start writing here in LA?"

"Uh...no. Nashville, actually," you said. "I lived in Nashville for a while before moving out here. But I...grew up in a small town just outside."

"You never told me that," Harry said, sounding both intrigued and a little hurt that you'd never shared that with him before.

Emboldened by your near-empty glass, you said, "You never asked."

That earned a few chuckles and a raised brow from Harry as if he'd just accepted a challenge you hadn't meant to create. But you read that look in his eyes with ease. Any look was quite easy to read from Harry. He was expressive, an open book. He was going to take this as an opportunity to ask you all the questions he'd been witholding.

Throwing back the rest of your wine, you avoided his eye and ignored the excited flip in your belly.

*.*

If it wasn't for your dog, you were pretty sure you wouldn't be able to keep up with Harry Styles and his impossibly long gait.

He'd kept to his word, insisting that he join you on one of your walks with Buddy Holly. It wasn't until a few days after you went to his house for the first time, but one morning before you usually headed into the studio, he texted and asked if he could join you for your morning walk with your dog. It took some convincing, which really only meant a series of uninterrupted texts until you finally relented.

Buddy took to Harry immediately, of course, though that wasn't a surprise, seeing as your dog was friendly with everyone. But it meant a lot to you that he seemed to like Harry so much. Buddy was a rescue, and you couldn't imagine the awful things he'd been through before you'd given him a proper home.

Now he walked on the sidewalk excitedly, pulling you on his leash as his stubby tail waved around wildly. Harry walked beside you, his curly hair pulled back with a little black claw clip, some of it sticking up in a cute tuft. As he walked beside you, you took the opportunity to study him. There was a little scruff on his cheeks and jaw, creeping down the nape of his neck. His jaw was strong and angular, his cheekbones sharp. Harry really was beautiful. You understood why so many people went so crazy for him.

"See anything you like?"

Warmth flushed your cheeks as you quickly looked ahead, even if the damage was already done. Harry rarely, if ever, caught you staring at him, mostly because it didn't happen often. But in the last few weeks, you'd found yourself admiring him more and more. The movements he made with his hand as he told a story, the mischievous glint in his eye when he made you laugh, the way his arms moved beneath his shirt, how his lips curled around a smile. You cataloged each mannerism, each vocal inflection, and after just a few weeks following that night at his house with his friends, you felt like you knew him quite well.

Shrugging, you feigned nonchalance as your eyes darted back to Buddy, who had stopped to sniff a tree.

You could feel Harry's gaze on you, but you tried not to squirm. His gaze pricked your skin, making you feel things you absolutely shouldn't have been feeling. It was uncomfortable and exhilarating, and you didn't like how much you were warming up to him.

Used to your wordless answers, Harry moved on. "You're making me rethink my decision to get a cat."

"You decided, then?"

"I think I'm more of cat person," Harry said. "Well that, and I think I've found the one, but I'm worried about all the traveling."

"It can stay with me," you said, eyes widening when you did. But it was true, you realized. You were close enough to Harry to promise that kind of thing.

"Well, in that case," Harry said, and you finally looked over to him.

His grin was wide as he looked down at you, and though you couldn't see his eyes behind his sunglasses, you knew they were more than likely squinted with mirth. You liked that smile, you realized. It was uninhibited, full of warmth and good intentions. You wanted to trust it, to give in to the friendship Harry was offering.

But you couldn't. Harry didn't deserve the abysmal companionship you offered in return, and you felt bad for leading him along when you knew you'd eventually fuck things up. You always did.

Your phone buzzing thankfully pulled you away from your thoughts. Looking at it, you saw a text from your brother, Hayden. You think Laura will be cool with a few football players in her house for Thanksgiving? it said, and you shook your head as you typed a quick reply, a small grin spreading across your face.

Hayden was only going to be in town the day of Thanksgiving, as he had a game the day after. You didn't think he would make it at all, seeing how full his schedule usually was, but he managed to squeeze it in. Apparently his game wasn't too far from Evan's house. As long as he, and his teammates now, didn't drink too much, they would be just fine.

You: I don't think so. Laura might put y'all to work around the house though.

Hayden: Seems fair.

Hayden: Are YOU bringing anyone home?

Hayden: Because I can sit you next to one of my teammates.

Hayden: I take that back. Forget I said that. No teammate of mine is going near my sister.

Rolling your eyes, you stuffed your phone in your back pocket. Harry was looking at you with a curious gaze, and you scrambled to explain yourself. "My brother," you said. "Apparently he's inviting some of his football buddies to Thanksgiving this year."

"Does he play at university?" Harry asked. You could almost hear the eagerness in his voice at the opportunity to learn more about you, and while sharing in general made you squirm, your brothers were fairly easy to talk about.

"He did. He's in the NFL now."

"Oh nice You must be—Wait what's his name?"

"Hayden?"

Harry stopped walking for a moment. When you tried to stop too, Buddy protested, tugging the leash, and the wrist you had wrapped around it pulled uncomfortably. Murmuring a quick apology, Harry kept walking, keeping pace with your energetic puppy.

"Your brother is Hayden L/n?"

You nodded. "I'm guessing you've heard of him then?"

A bark of laughter slipped from Harry's lips. You'd never seen him so caught off guard before. It was strange, but also a relief to know that someone as steady as Harry wasn't so unflappable all the time.

Rubbing a hand over his mouth, he said, "I think everyone has heard of him. Any other famous brothers I should know about?"

"I don't know how you quantify fame, but my other brother is in the NHL. He plays for a team on the east coast."

Andrew was the youngest of your family. Despite that, he still considered himself your older brother, which had always been annoying growing up, especially when you were taller than him for a few years. He was rather sweet for someone so aggressive on the ice. He spent a lot of time with his mom, but was still close to you, Evan, and Hayden. It was hard not to be when you all shared the same deadbeat dad.

Outside of Evan, you probably talked to Andrew the most. You were the closest in age and grew up going to school together, and while his main focus was hockey, whenever he was in town, he'd go with you to concerts to see whatever indie band you were into or treat you to tickets to a show at the arena he played for.

"You have a third, right?" Harry asked, and you weren't even surprised that he remembered even though you were sure you'd only mentioned it once or twice.

"Evan. He's a lawyer in New York, but he lives in Connecticut with his wife and daughter," you said.

Now would be the perfect opportunity to invite Harry to Thanksgiving. You were looping back around on the trail, heading back to the park entrance where you'd met Harry this morning. Evan would pester you about it until you did, or worse, get Hayden and Andrew involved. You just had to throw it out there, be as casual as possible. Easy. You were all about being casual.

"So, um, he—Evan—he, um, said if I wanted I could invite a friend to Thanksgiving. If I wanted to."

"Oh yeah?" You weren't looking at him, but you could hear the grin in his voice.

Swallowing thickly as you willed your cheeks not to flush, you continued to look at Buddy as you spoke. "You probably already have plans, but I just thought I would ask if you wanted to come. Laura, Evan's wife, is a great cook, and it's usually pretty low-key until football gets turned on. But no offensive aunts or uncles or anything like that. Just us."

That was definitely too many words, but the amused look in Harry's eyes didn't feel antagonizing. "I would love to, but um, I already promised my mum I would go home that week."

"Oh." You didn't mean to sound disappointed. It was a good thing that Harry was going home to see his mother. And him meeting your brothers for the first time all at once probably would've scared him out of talking to you in the studio, so really it was for the best. It was for the best. "That's okay. You must be excited to go home. How long has it been?"

"London? Not too long, but I'm headed back to Manchester, and my mum has not been shy in letting me know that it's been too long since..."

You listened to Harry the rest of the walk back, trying to fight off the disappointment gnawing inside you that he'd said no. You didn't want that feeling in you. You wanted to be indifferent. It's for the best. You repeated it over and over until you convinced yourself it was true.

*.*

"You had a speech, you're speechless. Love slipped beyond your reaches. And I couldn't give a reason, Champagne problems."

You scribbled in your notebook, crossing out words from the original recording and replacing them with better ones. You hadn't planned to go back to this song. After recording it on your phone, you figured it wouldn't see the light of day again. But something kept bringing you back to it. So you worked on it between other projects, playing around with the lyrics and melody in small doses so that the past wouldn't overwhelm you.

Guilt seeped into your bones as you recalled what happened eighteen, almost nineteen, months ago. Sometimes you wished you could forget everything you'd done, but other times you decided being forced to remember was part of your penance for causing so much pain. Gavin was a good man. He was so kind and so smart, he didn't have a cruel bone in his body. And you'd taken his goodness, you'd welcomed all his kindness, and crushed it in your hands.

Wiping away a tear, you shut your notebook definitively. Your session in the studio was far from over, but you were done for the day.

On your way out, you kept your head down, not wanting anyone to see your watery eyes. You could feel the tears building, and you hoped you could at least make it to your car before you turned into a mess. It was so hard sometimes. Some days you felt great. You would write good songs, take Buddy for a walk and teach him a new trick, you would get coffee with Harry and laugh, and everything would be fine. But then there were days where the mere thought of the past sent you careening off course, leaving you with nothing but the intrusive thoughts you thought you'd learned how to keep at bay.

Today happened to be one of those days, and you hoped you could escape and wallow in self-pity unnoticed. But before you could even make it to the elevator, you bumped into something solid and warm. Arms wrapped around you to hold you steady before you could spring back, and against your better judgment, you looked up, an apology poised on your lips.

"Y/n, are you okay? What's wrong?"

You should've known that you would be unlucky enough to run into Harry on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Blinking rapidly, you shook your head and stepped out of his grasp, though that didn't make you feel any better. "I'm fine."

"You can talk to me," Harry insisted. His brows furrowed with concern, but he didn't come any closer. There was a bag slung over his shoulder and a hat covering up his hair, with only a few stray curls sticking out beneath it. He looked like he was just going into the studio for a session.

"I'm fine, I promise," you lied, not wanting to be the reason he was late for studio time. "I'm just leaving for the day."

You tried to step around Harry, but his hands fell down on your shoulders. His gaze burned, but you couldn't make yourself look him in the eye. You knew the moment you saw the sympathy swimming in them you'd burst into tears.

"Please let me go," you said, but it came out as more of a squeak, your voice breaking on the last word.

To your surprise, Harry did, and even though that was what you'd asked for, what you wanted, you somehow felt worse. Shuffling around him, you mumbled a quick goodbye and bypassed the elevator, not wanting to wait awkwardly for it to come up while he was still in the hall. It wasn't until you finally got in your car that you let everything out, all the guilt and loneliness and self-loathing that you kept bottled up regularly.

So often you were able to pretend the past didn't exist. But then there were days where you were almost slapped in the face by the consequences of your actions. Negative thoughts followed you all the way home and into your bed. Not even hiding under the covers kept you from feeling everything all at once. Your mind spun as you thought of Gavin, of his elated grin crumpling into a look of betrayal as you told him you were ending it.

You remembered every detail from that night. The brand of Champagne Gavin bought for the would-be occasion, the woodsy cologne he wore, the looks on his friends' and family's faces as you hurried down the stairs to leave the party, unable to bear their shame and disapproval, or the heart you'd broken on the landing in his family's mansion.

You didn't know he was going to propose until mere moments before it happened. You had only been seeing Gavin for a few months, and things were good. He made you happy, and you liked having someone to go through life with. He liked to shower you with expensive gifts, for no other reason than to show you he cared and because he could. You didn't have the same kind of wealth he or his family did, not even with the substantial amount of money you made as a successful songwriter. But you'd write him poems and leave them places you knew he'd find them and looped your arm through his at company parties. Things were good.

Every year, Gavin's family hosted a Christmas party, and last year was the first time you'd been invited. You hadn't wanted to go, mostly because in the two weeks leading up to the party, you realized you weren't in the same place Gavin was emotionally, and you weren't sure you ever would be. But Gavin insisted, promising it would be fun and he wouldn't abandon you to his family, who had been nothing but cold since the moment he'd introduced them to you. So you went, sipping on Champagne in a glass made of crystal and wondering if the guilty pit at the bottom of your stomach would ever stop growing.

It was a couple hours into the party when you'd stumbled on a conversation between Gavin's mother and sister, one that made your blood run cold with dread.

"Did Gav really ask you for your ring?" his sister asked.

His mother nodded gravely. "He wants to do it tonight."

"What? That's ridiculous! They've barely been together a year!"

"I'm sure she would make a lovely bride, she's beautiful, I'll give her that," his mother conceded, but you could hear the disdain in her voice loud and clear. "It's just a shame that she's—"

"Fucked in the head?"

"Larissa! Language!"

"What? She is! She's a total basket case, and everyone can see it but him. She'll never make him happy. How could she? Putting a ring on it doesn't change a thing. Gavin would have a psych patient, not a wife. He deserves better."

The rest of the night was a blur, but you knew you couldn't wait. You didn't want to break up with Gavin on the night of his family's Christmas party, but if he was going to propose, you couldn't let him. The hurt would be so much worse if you had to slide the ring off your finger a week or two after the proposal.

Gavin called you for weeks afterward, begging you to help him understand. His family did too, and his friends, people you considered friends as well, but it was clear once there was a line drawn in the sand where everyone stood, and they didn't have any trouble letting you know how horrible you were for doing what you did. Sometimes when you let yourself get angry, you wondered why Gavin's mother and sister, or any of them really, were so aggressive about your break up. They'd never wanted you to be with him in the first place, and even though they'd gotten their wish, they still called you a heartless monster.

But above all that, Gavin's messages made the deepest cut. He sounded so devastated in each voicemail. And at first, all he wanted was to talk, to somehow work it all out as if it was one big misunderstanding. I know my family can be a lot, but I love you so much, he'd said in a text. We can go to Italy like we'd planned. Elope. Buy a little cottage and just start a new life somewhere else. Please, Y/n. Talk to me. I love you.

Messages like those were the toughest pills to swallow. You knew Gavin loved you, you never doubted that for a moment. The problem was you didn't feel the same. You didn't know why. You cared for Gavin a lot, and in the beginning, you had all those giddy, initial relationship feelings, but they never developed beyond that. And when you noticed Gavin's feelings growing more and more each day while yours didn't, you started to panic.

But it was when those messages turned angry, hateful even, that hurt the most. It was what you deserved after what you'd done, but to know that you'd turned one of the gentlest souls you knew into a spiteful one killed you almost as much as stopping him from getting down on one knee had.

In the midst of all your crying and hyperventilating, your phone buzzed. Wiping your eyes and nose, you lifted your phone to your face, squinting at the bright light.

Harry S: I know you probably want space, but I'm here for you xx

You shouldn't be, was your first thought, but all you texted back was, Just a bad day that's all.

Harry's response was almost immediate, as if he was waiting around for your reply.

Harry S: Well, if you ever need a friend, you know where to find me :))

You sighed, feeling another wave of tears overwhelm you. The pressure of friendship weighed heavily on your chest. All you could offer was disappointment, and you couldn't stomach the thought of letting someone like Harry down. He was too good a person to be your friend. All you could offer him was disappointment and pain. You were toxic, and better off left alone.

You: We're not friends. I don't want to be your friend so just leave me alone.

*.*

Weeks went by and you were positively miserable. Thanksgiving came and went, and even your brothers could sense not to pry about your sour mood. Evan tried to get you alone, but you didn't want to talk. You didn't want to explain how you'd fucked things up so royally. Again. You didn't want his sympathy, or Hayden's promise to fight anyone who hurt you, or Andrew's cheesy jokes to lift your spirits. What you wanted had been all the way in England and had been giving you the cold shoulder. Just like you'd asked.

Harry stopped saying hi to you at the studio, which hurt more than you thought it would. In the grand scheme of things, you hadn't known him very long, but seeing him in the hallway and watching him purposely avoid you felt awful. You only had yourself to blame, but you thought it was better to let him down early on than further down the line. You couldn't have another Gavin situation on your hands.

But this felt entirely different. Even though you'd only spoken to Harry for a month, his absence from your life was more poignant than you expected it to be. When you ended things with Gavin, you felt guilty for hurting him, but ultimately, there was a sense of relief that you weren't leading him on, that crushing weight of his family's disapproval on your chest lifted. Breaking up with Gavin was hard, but it was the right thing to do for you, there was no doubt in your mind about that.

But this thing with Harry...you'd pushed him away when you were feeling vulnerable. A preemptive measure for the both of you, but there was no relief, no justifiable sense of rightness in your gut in the days following.

Part of you wanted to reach out to him and apologize, but you worried he hated you now and didn't know how to bridge the gap you created between the two of you.

Opportunity struck when you overheard a conversation between Harry and...Mitch. you were pretty sure that was Mitch from that night at Harry's house. It was about a week after you came back from your brother's house, and all three of them were constantly calling or texting despite their busy schedules. You wouldn't have put it past any of them to have set up times to routinely check in on you. It warmed your heart some, but nothing would feel right until you fixed things with Harry. Pushing him away had been a mistake, you saw that now. You'd done it in a moment when you were at your lowest, and that wasn't fair to either of you.

"I'm sorry, mate," Harry said to Mitch. "I didn't even think to ask if you were allergic before adopting a cat. I feel like an idiot now."

So he went ahead with his plan to get a pet, then. The thought made you smile, but you held it in. You were pressed into the corner of the elevator up to the studio. Harry was definitely aware of your presence, but he hadn't acknowledged you. Mitch gave you an awkward wave, but that was somehow worse.

"No worries, man," Mitch said now, stepping out of the elevator with Harry. He was in a white t-shirt and a light brown cardigan today, his curly brown hair looking beautifully windswept. You refused to think about the current state of your hair, which was hiding beneath a blue baseball cap. "I'll just have to—"

You never found out what Mitch would have to do because they rounded a corner of the hallway, leaving you alone outside the elevator. Quickly scurrying into your usual studio, you sat down at the grand piano, letting the smooth keys cool your sweaty palms. You felt breathless, but it wasn't the usual anxiety-ridden breathlessness you were used to. This felt different, your heart speeding up at the thought of Harry's broad shoulders beneath his sweater.

"Pull yourself together, Y/n," you told yourself.

The damage was done—once again, at your hands, but you couldn't help that right this second. Right now you had work to do.

The next day, you did something you didn't normally do—venture outside of your studio. Since working in the building, you'd never thought to explore the other rooms, to introduce yourself or make friends the way Harry had with you. As you walked down the long hallway of closed and half-open doors, you wondered who was behind them, what kind of projects were being worked on right now.

Most importantly, you wanted to know which door Harry sat behind.

After a day of writing, of trying to lean into more positive feelings, the small hope you had for a brighter future. You left the studio feeling lighter after another introspective session. There'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you, both of these things can be true, you'd written, forming your thoughts around a melody that was both somber and hopeful. That moment when you'd pushed Harry away was the lowest you'd felt in a while, but you didn't want to feel that way anymore. All Harry had been asking for was friendship. You could do friendship, in fact, you craved it.

So now you were trying to make things right with Harry, or at least apologize for your rude text. He'd only ever been incredibly kind to you, and you'd treated him like garbage.

You came across a door that was partially open, laughter filtering out and reaching you in the hallway. Harry's voice was mixed among them, and hearing him laugh filled you with butterflies. Going to his studio suddenly felt like a mistake. You didn't want to bring down his mood, especially if it would affect his writing for the day.

But you finally worked up the courage to knock on the open door. You'd already made it this far. The knock immediately sobered up everyone inside the studio, and you waited outside with your gift bag clutched in your hands. One of Harry's friends appeared, eyes widening when he saw you there.

"Y/n," he said. "It's good to see you."

You couldn't tell if he was pleased to see you or not, and nerves slowly began to creep in.

"I—I won't take up too much of your time, I know y'all are probably busy," you said. "I just, um, could you give this to Harry, please?"

You shoved the bag in the man's direction, forcing him to take it. "You can come in. He's just inside—"

"No, it's okay. I should probably get back to it. So, uh, see you."

You turned and fled, heat flooding your cheeks. Honestly, you were surprised you made it that far. You figured your courage would fizzle out before knocking on the studio door.

Settling back in your studio, you pulled out your journal and phone out of your bag, and opened up to a fresh page to work on a new song. On the way into work this morning, your agent pitched you an opportunity to write for an up-and-coming artist. "Something light, Y/n," she'd said, knowing you'd been writing mostly sad, break-up songs recently. "If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out, but at least try. You've always liked to challenge yourself."

So you were putting away the Champagne problems for now and channeling your happiest thoughts. You even brought your computer to stream romantic comedies while you worked for some additional inspiration.

You were halfway through When Harry met Sally when that inspiration finally struck. Lighter, happier words finally filled your journal, a rare, but not completely uncommon occurrence. You'd written love songs in the past, both before and while you were with Gavin. But surprisingly, Gavin wasn't who came to mind, nor was it the characters in the movie on your computer.

You thought of Harry's smile, his flushed cheeks after he'd had a couple drinks, his green eyes that seemed to sparkle when he laughed. Did you have a crush on him? You weren't entirely sure, maybe you just admired his goodness. And, okay fine, his unfair amount of good looks too. But you tried not to focus too long on who exactly inspired you, just on making sure the words kept flowing onto the page.

Perhaps you should've expected Harry to stop by, but you hadn't. His voice startled you, your eyes having been glued to the screen of your computer as the final scene of Roman Holiday played out in front of you. It had always been one of your favorites, and you decided that a brain break was needed as the final third of the film rolled around.

"What's this?"

No matter how many times you'd seen it, the ending never failed to bring tears to your eyes. Seeing the glisten of tears in Gregory Peck's eyes as he stared longingly at Audrey Hepburn's, knowing they loved each other but could never be together was heartbreaking. It had been the most tragic thing you'd ever experienced when you first watched it as a girl, and it hadn't even happened to you.

It was those tears now that you wiped away, a warmth creeping up your cheeks because this was the second time Harry had caught you crying. How embarrassing.

Looking up, you saw the gift bag in one hand, the other in his pocket as he stared at you blankly. No warmth or his usual smile, but he wasn't glaring at you, either. He just looked indifferent, and that didn't sit well with you at all.

"I...I overheard you and Mitch talking about your cat and his allergies, and I'd heard of this stuff that you can use on your pets to help people who are allergic to animals."

You'd gone out and bought it after leaving the studio the day you'd overheard the conversation between Mitch and Harry. It was your version of an olive branch, a way to express your guilt after taking Harry's friendship and throwing it in his face. You were his friend, and you wanted him to know it.

It probably seemed silly to hide behind a gift instead of saying something, considering your profession. But confrontation was almost as terrifying as love was, it was part of the reason why you only wrote songs and didn't perform them.

Harry scoffed, and it looked like he couldn't decide between laughing or rolling his eyes. "No, I know what this is, I'm asking why you gave it to me. Or not me, to my friend and then scurried back over here."

"I'm sorry about that, about everything," you said, shutting your laptop and shifting in your chair. "I was...I haven't been in the best place for some time now. It's not an excuse for how I treated you that day. You caught me in a bad moment and I lashed out."

"Thank you for apologizing," he said, his voice cool and even. You desperately wanted to know what he was thinking. What he saw when he looked at you. "Do you want to grab coffee? Maybe we can talk?"

The thought of being open and honest in the way that he was suggesting was daunting, but Harry deserved your honesty. "Sure. Let me just pack up my things."

Harry waited for you by the door as you packed your bag, jotting a couple notes down in your journal before putting it away. Your hands shook a little as you approached him, excitement swelling in your belly despite the anxiety you felt at the prospect of having to talk about things you preferred to leave in the recesses of your mind. But it felt good to see Harry again, to walk beside him and head to your favorite coffee house.

Neither of you said anything on the short walk over, and even after you placed your orders, you remained quiet. When your name was called out alongside Harry's to grab your drinks, you knew it was time to find a table, but you stayed rooted to your spot in front of the counter.

It was Larissa. Gavin's sister. She was standing next to the other end of the counter where baristas called out and dropped off orders. There was a moment when she didn't see you, and you thought you could make a break for it, even if that meant leaving Harry high and dry. But even if you wanted to, you were frozen in place, and when Larissa's gaze finally landed on you, you felt her glare even from a short distance.

"Y/n?" Harry asked, both drinks in his hands. "What's—"

"Y/n! How good to see you!"

Larissa's kind smile was anything but. You'd never trusted Gavin's sister. From the moment you met her, you knew to be wary of her, and after everything that happened, you were sure nothing good was going to come out of this interaction.

"H—Hi, Larissa. How are you?" you said, trying your best not to look at Harry, who had a quizzical look on his face.

"Oh, I'm just fabulous. I've just spent the last year healing my brother's broken heart, which you broke like it was nothing," Larissa said. "He's great, by the way. Finally came to his senses and realized what a God-awful mess you were. He realized all of us were better off without you."

Then, before you could even make sense of what was happening, a rush of cold washed over you. At first, you thought it was merely a visceral reaction to the confrontation, but Harry's, "What the fuck?" made you think twice.

Looking down, you realized Larissa had poured her drink on your sweater. Shock left you blinking at Gavin's sister, tears welling in your eyes. With shaking hands, you held the ruined sweater in your hands, then back to Larissa. "Wh—Why—"

"That's for my brother, slut."

"That's enough," Harry said, voice harder and colder than you'd ever heard him before. Even when he was upset with you at the studio, he never sounded this angry. Gently gripping your elbow, he turned you around. You hardly noticed the flashing of cameras aimed in your direction. All you could really process was Larissa's smirk and the iced coffee dripping off you onto the coffee house's floor.

When you were finally outside and a block down the road, Harry pulled you down an alley where you could have a moment of privacy. He pulled his sweater over his head and offered it to you in a bundle. You quietly murmured your thanks and took it from him, slipping it over your head. The plain black sweater was warm and smelled like him—like laundry detergent and expensive cologne. It would've been the kind of thing to flood your senses if shame hadn't currently encompassed every fiber of your being.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," you said when you felt like you could speak without your voice trembling.

"You don't have to apologize for what happened, Y/n," Harry said. He gently rested his hand on your shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I think so."

You couldn't look him in the eye, not while your iced coffee-ridden sweater was now ruining his, not while he kept looking at you with such pity. You could feel it down to your toes, and it made you want to curl up in a ball and never get out of bed. But Harry deserved an explanation. At the very least, he deserved to know who he associated himself with.

"I should explain—"

"You don't have to," Harry insisted.

"I want to," you said, believing the words as you said them. You weren't sure what you would've done if Harry hadn't been with you a few minutes ago. His brows were still furrowed with concern, his thumb rubbing circles into your shoulder. His sweater layered over yours created a pretty thick barrier, but you could feel his touch as if he was caressing your skin. "We can, um, we can go back to my place."

Thankfully, Harry didn't protest, just nodded quietly. The walk back to the studio was completely silent, leaving you alone with your thoughts until it was time to part ways. He got in his car and followed you home, silently following you up the steps to your apartment, a comfortable little one-bedroom twenty minutes from the studio.

Buddy was at the door when you unlocked it, tail wagging and tongue lolling to the side of his mouth happily. He greeted you first, then Harry, who he tried with all his might to knock over by getting up on his hind legs and resting on your guest. "Buddy! Down!" you hissed, frantically holding onto your dog's collar. Harry laughed and waived you off, surprising you by lifting Buddy up into his arms. Both boys were perfectly content, and the image of your friend holding your dog in your apartment was enough to lift your spirits the tiniest bit. A small smile crept onto your face, and Harry's grin widened when he saw it.

"Nice place," Harry commented, spinning around in a slow circle as he looked around.

"Thanks." Your apartment was small, but it was in a nice neighborhood and close to the beach. You made just enough in royalties to be comfortable in a little one bedroom. "Definitely different from my place in Nashville."

Harry nodded mildly before setting Buddy back down on the floor, admiring the colorful furniture that took up the space in your living room. Shivering a little, you looked down at yourself, reminded of your coffee-soaked clothes.

"There are treats in the pantry," you said, setting your things down on the kitchen counter and nodding to the pantry in question. "I'm just going to get changed so I can wash your sweater."

Harry nodded, but he seemed content to play with Buddy and look around your apartment, and your dog seemed perfectly happy to never walk on four legs ever again.

You tried to make quick work of changing, not wanting to keep Harry waiting too long. But you gave yourself a minute or two to calm down and process everything that had happened in the last hour. Even though it was horribly embarrassing, you were glad Harry had been there. He'd been a calming presence throughout, and you could only hope that would continue as you explained why you'd pushed him away.

*.*

"I...I didn't want to hurt you," you said, looking down at where your hands were knotted in your lap. "I just...I don't have a very good track record with relationships. Of any kind. I didn't want you to be one of the people I ruined."

Harry had been surprisingly quiet while you explained everything. And by everything, you meant everything. From Gavin to the Christmas party and what you'd heard to the would-be proposal. You told him about that song you'd written a couple weeks ago and how it brought all that emotion to the forefront of your memory and that it led you to push Harry away. He hadn't said much, asking you a few questions here and there; but for the most part, he let you speak uninterrupted, and you were surprised at how you continued to fill the silence, not once feeling uncomfortable. Perhaps a little ashamed after explaining how badly you'd hurt Gavin, but you never felt discomfort telling Harry any of it.

"Y/n, I—" Harry began to say before pausing. Looking up at him, you saw his brows furrowed, a look of consternation on his face. You waited for the blow, the one that eventually led him to leave you friendless once and for all. "I don't think you're a bad person for breaking up with him. I can't imagine that kind of hurt, sure, but if you didn't love him, you did the right thing. Do you—Do you seriously believe you're fucked in the head? Or that you ruin people?"

He was referencing the song you'd written, and you flushed bright red at the idea of him hearing more of the song than you would've liked. Shrugging, you gave him the truth. It didn't seem fit to lie when you'd bared your soul to him. "I don't know."

You could tell that answer didn't sit right with Harry. His frown deepened, and you desperately wanted to see him smile again. "Y/n, everyone makes mistakes in relationships, and even then I don't think you did anything wrong in that moment. Was it unfortunate timing? Maybe, but I don't think you should punish yourself for it anymore. In fact, I think what you did was brave."

"What?"

Smiling, Harry took your hand in his. It was warm, and his long fingers curled around your hand with ease. On any other day, you would've pulled back, but after sharing so much with him, this felt good. It felt right.

"I said what you did was brave," he said again. "You didn't love him, but you could've accepted the proposal and stayed with him. And then what? Leave him at the altar? Stay in a loveless marriage? It was hard, but you did the right thing for you and Gavin. I'm sure even he would come to understand that one day. Have you tried talking to him?"

You shook your head. "He hates me now."

"I don't think anyone could really hate you, Y/n," Harry said quietly, a blush crawling up his cheeks as if he hadn't meant to say that out loud. "I know you might disagree, but I think you might feel a lot better about all of this if you talked to him."

"His family—"

"Fuck his family. Gavin is a grown man who can think for himself," Harry said. "If he can't separate their wrong opinions from his own thoughts, then he's an idiot who never deserved you anyway."

You laughed a little at the first half of what he said. It felt nice to know that someone was on your side. Squeezing Harry's hand, you said, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For listening, for being a good friend when I maybe didn't deserve it. Evan's the only person I talked to about this, and even then I didn't explain everything," you said. Evan had been on your side, but it didn't really count to you. He was your brother. He had to be on your side. "I just don't have the best track record when it comes to hurting people, you know?"

Your eyes had fallen to your hand, which was still curled around his, but to your surprise, Harry's other one lifted your chin to meet his gaze. With wide eyes, you looked at him, heart beating a little wilder in your chest when you saw the look on his face. His expression was wide open, earnest and endearing, and filled with...something you weren't ready to see yet. But it filled you with warmth, and for the first time in a long time, you really believed that you didn't have to be alone.

"I don't think you'll hurt me," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

His hand pushed a strand of your hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear. The movement made your breath hitch, lips parting as you tried to decide what Harry was going to do next, what you wanted him to do next. He seemed like he was waiting for something too, and his gaze was finally too much, like he could see your soul and was currently shuffling through every little thing you longed for and were afraid of. It was heavy with emotion, and you weren't ready for it.

"You should probably get going soon," you said, rising, with great difficulty, to your feet and putting some distance between yourself and Harry. A frown on Harry's face appeared, and you quickly explained yourself. "Your cat. You probably should head home and feed her."

Before you and Harry sat down to talk about...everything, he briefly mentioned his new kitten, Sweet Pea. "It was the name she already had when I adopted her, and it didn't feel right to change it, though sometimes she's not so sweet." She was a fluffy Ragdoll cat that was apparently quite the diva, and Harry proudly showed off picture after picture, claiming he was already in love with his new furry companion.

Now though, Harry's eyes widened as if he hadn't even thought about his new kitten since being here. "Right. Good call. I'll see you tomorrow?"

You nodded as you watched him gather his things. "I'll return the sweater tomorrow."

"Don't worry about it," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

You walked Harry to the door to see him out. He crossed the threshold but paused before heading down to his car. You couldn't read the look that crossed his face, but his lingering gave you one last opportunity to take him all in. The muscles in his arms bulged beneath the white t-shirt he wore, and his hair had grown a tad longer since you'd spoken to him last, now curling around the nape of his neck and touching the collar of his shirt. Harry was taller than you, but not by much, though standing this close, it felt like he was a whole foot taller as you craned your neck to look at him.

Then, before you could ask if he'd forgotten something, he leaned forward. It took you a moment to realize what he'd done, but the lingering traces of heat on your forehead helped. He'd kissed you. On the forehead.

"See you tomorrow!"

Harry was gone in a flash, leaving you standing at the front door of your apartment with an open mouth as you tried to decide what his forehead kiss meant. To you, it felt sisterly, and you couldn't help the disappointment that swirled in your gut. You quickly pushed that feeling away, closing the door on whatever happened just then.

*.*

For the next few weeks, everything felt like it was back to normal. Better than normal, even. Despite the awkwardness you felt at having to see Harry after the odd forehead kiss, Harry acted like it never happened, which you were thankful for. You wouldn't have known what to say if he'd brought it up. Or tried to do it again.

But it became clear, despite the teeny tiny budding feelings you might have had for him, that he merely saw you as a friend. After your long talk with him at your apartment, Harry began showing you some of the work he'd been doing in his own studio down the hall from yours. It appeared he was getting over a break up too, though you never would've guessed by how cheerful he was most days. He still was, even as he explained a little about his most recent relationship, and you realized that while you hid your true emotions behind a wall, he might've been hiding behind his happy disposition. It made you want to dig deeper, to see what lay beneath all that "fineness."

As you spent more time with Harry, you also began hanging out with his friends. The first time you returned to his house for another game night, everyone seemed genuinely happy to see you, namely Sylvia. "I'm so glad you're spending more time with H," she'd said that night. "I love him to death but he's a clingy motherfucker when he's lonely."

That thought made you laugh. You recalled a conversation you'd had with Harry a while back when he'd said his friends were "disgustingly in love." He seemed like the kind of guy who loved love, but you also didn't want Sylvia, or any of his friends, to get the wrong idea.

"Oh I don't—I mean we're not—I don't think he sees me that way."

That wasn't how you wanted to explain yourself, seeing as you weren't even sure if you saw him that way. But Sylvia must have seen your flushed cheeks and understood your floundering because she smiled at you warmly.

"I think this calls for a girl's day. What do you think?"

"Oh. Um..." You didn't expect any of Harry's friends to want to hang out with you one on one, but you'd been leaning into trying new things lately. And girl's day? You grew up with three brothers, the last time you had anything resembling that was a tea party Hayden and Evan threw for you when you were six. "Sure. I could meet you for lunch this week if you'd like."

"Lunch sounds perfect."

A couple days passed until you had Buddy on his leash, walking down to the cafe you and Sylvia agreed on. You were a little nervous, but mostly excited. It had been a while since you'd hung out casually with a friend—you weren't counting Harry—and while you'd grown accustomed to the loneliness, you couldn't help but acknowledge that it felt nice to talk to someone other than your dog.

"Okay," Sylvia said once the waiter walked away with your orders. She'd held off asking about Harry, but now the time had come. "Hit me. What did Harold do?"

"Nothing," you said, perhaps a little too quickly. When Sylvia pinned you with a stare, you looked down at your glass of water. "He just...He gave me a kiss? On the forehead? And I don't know, it just read very...brotherly."

Sylvia sighed, which at the very least vindicated your feelings. It wasn't like you wanted anything more, but the whole thing left you feeling confused. A cheek kiss would've been easier to navigate, but the forehead? It left Y/n thinking about Harry more than she should've.

"Okay, I can see where you might be confused by that, but as someone with a brother, I can confidently say they don't do shit like that."

You weren't sure what you expected her to say, or what you even wanted her to say, but it wasn't that. Sylvia knew Harry fairly well, so it was safe to say that she was telling the truth, you just weren't ready to accept what she was implying.

"I do too, and I know the last thing I would expect from any of my brothers is a kiss on the forehead, but I don't know," you said, trying to remain as neutral as possible knowing Sylvia could report back to Harry. This whole thing was starting to feel very grade school-esque.

"Just know that Harry's a pretty open guy, but he's been burned in the past so he might be a little closed off or not be as inclined to make the first move," Sylvia said, though in some ways it sounded like a warning. "He's the greatest guy you'll ever meet, and whatever you decide, just be gentle, okay?"

It was hard to imagine someone as positive and happy as Harry having a dark past, but it sounded like there was a lot more than what met the eye as far as he was concerned. It was honestly a little comforting to know that he wasn't perfect. You were such a mess sometimes it seemed unfair that people wandered through life seemingly unscathed. You knew that was rarely ever the case, but sometimes it was hard to remember when guys like Harry walked around embracing life and had smiles for every occasion.

"I will," you promised, and you meant it. You were pretty sure nothing was going to happen between you and Harry, but you could appreciate Sylvia looking out for her friend. As nice as she had been to you so far, she was Harry's friend first. Her words made you wonder if you would ever have friends so fiercely loyal to you.

After that lunch with Sylvia, the weeks began to pass by in a blur. There were days when you saw Harry frequently, and then you wouldn't see him at all. He would show up at your studio to get coffee—at a new coffee shop, of course—you stopped by his to bring him and his friends baked goods, and sometimes you would end the night at one another's houses, a bottle of wine and takeout split between the two of you. You weren't dating, at least you wouldn't categorize whatever it was that you were doing as dating, but it felt nice to have someone in your life consistently again, and you liked that Harry was that person even more.

That didn't mean you couldn't read the signs. Sometimes Harry's gaze would linger when he thought you didn't notice, or he would sit a lot closer than was maybe necessary when you hung out with his friends. Sometimes his hand would brush yours as you watched a movie as if he wanted to hold it, and yours would brush back encourgingly, and then suddenly you were holding hands. To anyone else, it might have appeared confusing—in fact, Sylvia had vocalized her confusion over the non-relationship you and Harry were engaging in—but for you, not acknowledging what was happening and not putting any labels or definitions on this thing happening between the two of you was somehow easier to swallow. And since Harry seemed to be following your lead, he didn't say anything to object.

It was around Christmastime that things began to change. You'd spent your morning writing a song for an artist's Christmas album, a feat you'd managed to avoid in the past. But since you'd worked with the artist before and liked the vision she had for this album, you decided to at least try to write a holiday song. It wasn't necessarily that you disliked Christmas or the holidays, you were just indifferent to the season in question, and after everything that transpired two years ago now, you just never felt like celebrating much.

Harry Styles, however, was a huge fan of Christmas. his studio was decked out with lights and garlands, he got him and Sweet Pea matching sweaters, which you weren't entirely sure if he knitted or not, and he'd been bugging you since Thanksgiving to come over to decorate cookies. He'd finally worn you down and you were going over later tonight, but not before putting in a couple hours at the studio, which turned into sitting in on one of Harry's sessions.

It didn't happen often, but you did like seeing the team approach to writing songs as opposed to your usual solitary method. For the most part, you watched as Harry bounced ideas off his friends, observing as they focused on one chord progression or verse until something else stole their attention away. It was a bit chaotic, but everyone in the room seemed to be having fun.

It was in the middle of a heated debate between another fun, upbeat song or beginning to work on a ballad when the melody came to you. It was just piano chords, and had you been in your own studio, you would've immediately sat down to play it and see where it went. But this wasn't your studio, and it wasn't your session, and while you knew no one would've minded hearing your input, you felt nervous all of a sudden, self-conscious.

So instead, you pulled some blank sheet music out and began to scribble, writing as quickly as possible before the melody escaped you. The melody had taken up so much space in your head that everything else faded away. You envisioned arrangements, themes, a line or two sprouting as you wrote down the next note. Something sad and somber, the exact opposite of what Harry had been pushing for since he entered the studio.

"What am I now?" you wrote on the back of the sheet music. You didn't know how it would fit, but it would. You could tinker with the words later, so long as all your thoughts were written down somewhere, you would find a way to make it happen.

"What are you working on over there?"

Harry was suddenly at your side, and when he peeked over your shoulder, you didn't try to hide your frenzied notes. You handed them over, unsure if he even read sheet music. "It was just a thought I had. I can play it for you if you'd like?"

"Please," Harry said, gesturing to the piano in the corner of the room. It was then that you realized that everyone else had left the room at some point or another. At your questioning glance, Harry explained. "Ten minute break, but it felt like you were onto something...And I figured you'd be more willing to share if it wasn't in front of a group."

"Thank you," you said, those pesky butterflies swirling around in your stomach. They seemed to appear any time Harry so much as smiled at you. "It's just a melody, really, but maybe you can use it for something.

You sat down at the piano, eyes widening when Harry sat down beside you. Shaking it off, you focused on the piano, the keys cool and smooth to the touch, a familiar feeling that felt nice among such a different work setting. You explained your thought process to Harry a little bit, telling him the direction you hoped the song would go in and possible arrangements for it and whatnot. Harry, who apparently knew you better than you thought he did, nudged you with his elbow and encouraged you to play, knowing that you were stalling.

It wasn't that you were unsure of yourself or your talent. You knew you were good at what you did. You'd collaborated on multiple albums and worked with many well-known artists and bands, or artists who were just breaking out onto the scene and did so with the help of your songwriting. The difference here was that you normally didn't play an idea for anyone until it was fully realized. You typically sent over demos and typed up lyrics, and Harry would be one of the first to hear something that you'd only just come up with. Besides Buddy, but he didn't really count.

Taking a deep breath, you began to play, letting the chords you'd only just come up with pull your focus. After having played through it a couple times, you looked over at Harry, who had a faraway look in his eyes, an idea of his own forming in his head, perhaps.

"It's fairly simple, but I think that's what's rather beautiful about it," you said while still playing. "Sometimes you don't need much to get a response from someone, and I think a melody like this really allows an artist to shine, you know? Whether that's through their lyrics, or their vocal range, or both. And obviously it can be changed to a different key, this is just the one I wrote down, but...yeah, that's what I've got."

You finally stopped playing to hear Harry's opinion, though you wished you hadn't. Now your hands didn't really know what to do, and it took a lot of effort to keep them knotted together in your lap. Harry still looked pensive, as if he hadn't even heard your rambling, though now you were even more curious to know what he thought.

"Harry?"

Blinking, Harry turned toward you, his knee bumping against yours on the piano bench. His eyes cleared up as he remembered he wasn't alone in the studio. "Hm? Sorry, just thinking."

Offering him your pen and a fresh page in your journal, you said, "Did you maybe want to write it down?"

After that, you and Harry wrote hundreds of songs together. At least it felt like a hundred songs. Whether it was in the studio, or at each other's homes—mainly his because he had a home studio and a guest room for when sessions went too long—the two of you were almost always writing together. It wasn't always for his album, either. Sometimes Harry would help you with projects you were working on for other artists, or you would just write songs for the sake of writing them.

And it just worked. It felt like you and Harry just clicked. He was able to vocalize what you were trying to say to his producer, and you knew what he was thinking before he said it or the sound he was going for based off a couple descriptors. You'd never known someone so intimately before, or understood them so completely, Not even Gavin.

Harry was witty and smart and kind and genuine. He felt things deeply, and kept a lot of his darkest secrets and deepest insecurities incredibly close to his chest. You realized at some point that he was even more guarded than you in some ways. As you wrote together more and more, you obviously realized that there was more than met the eye when it came to your friend, but outside of songwriting, he wouldn't divulge much. He'd been through a breakup recently, that much you could tell, and while you wanted to know more, you respected his privacy and the desire to leave the past exactly where it was. Unless it came to the music, of course.

"So...you're what? Friends without all the benefits?" Sylvia asked you.

You met with her pretty regularly now for lunch during the week. Harry wasn't typically the topic of conversation, but on this occasion, Sylvia was giving you the third degree.

"We're co-workers. And friends," you added as an afterthought. Saying you were merely co-workers didn't seem right to you anymore, and you knew Harry would be upset if you thought otherwise. "I don't know what other benefits I would need outside of his companionship."

"Bull. Shit." Sylvia pinned you with a stare that made you blush. "Last weekend he had you practically sitting in his lap, and you're trying to tell me nothing's going on?"

"Not really. I don't think either of us are in a place to be in a relationship right now." It was the same line you fed to Andrew last week when you went to see one of his games. He thankfully bought it, or maybe he was just used to you keeping your love life to yourself, but Sylvia wasn't having it.

"What makes you say that?"

You shrugged. "I mean I'm definitely not, and I can just tell he's not there yet either. I mean, obviously, I've learned about his most recent relationship by working with him, but outside of that, he doesn't tell me anything. I don't even know her name."

You weren't offended that Harry didn't want to share about his ex. You wouldn't have told him about Gavin if you hadn't been put in that particular situation. But you understood better than most about that kind of pain. Maybe he wasn't ready. Maybe his feelings were getting all jumbled up between the past and the present. Or maybe he just didn't like you that way. The last theory hurt more than you cared to admit, but you were more scared of another potential relationship going up in flames than finding out the truth, so you decided ignorance really was bliss.

Sylvia nodded, understanding. You realized she must've known his ex, though you didn't ask for details. That was Harry's story to tell, not hers, and you were pretty sure Sylvia would say the same if you did ask. "I guess that's fair. But so, you're just...friends who kiss occasionally?"

You nearly choked on your sip of water. "What? No! Of course not. We don't—We—"

"Let me save you the struggle of coming up with an unconvincing lie," Sylvia said. "I've seen you."

"When?"

"Christmas party," she said, raising one finger as if she was about to list a few occurences.

"That was mistletoe. It was innocent," you said with a dismissive wave of your hand, even though said hand was suddenly clammy.

"New Year's."

"Everyone kisses at the end of the countdown!"

"At game night when he kissed your neck?"

"Why are you paying that close attention to my neck?"

"And," Slyvia said, pointedly ignoring your last remark. "I have it on good authority that Harry kissed you at the studio last week. Don't try to hide it, Y/n."

Sighing, you said, "So what's your point, exactly?"

"My point is that y'all are just pretending you're not in a relationship when you are!" she said, looking at you as if you had two heads. "Look, it's clear you've been through some shit and Harry has too, I won't deny that. But are you really going to put your happiness on the back burner because of it?"

Your cheeks burned at having been caught. It wasn't like you'd planned to kiss Harry any of those times. Each kiss came as a surprise, leaving you more and more breathless than the last and hopeful for another. What Sylvia didn't know was that you and Harry had kissed a lot more than the handful that she'd rattled off. Sometimes when it was late and you were over at his house working, he'd get this look in his eyes that would turn your whole body molten. He'd lean in close, nudge your nose with his, and then his lips were on yours and time suddenly didn't exist.

You liked kissing Harry. A lot. You liked the way his fingers gingerly held your jaw, you liked that kissing him gave you free rein to touch him wherever you wanted—his hair, his arms, beneath his shirt. Sometimes it felt like you couldn't get enough, but it always ended with one of you pulling away under the guise that it was getting late. Your lips would tingle long after, and you'd text Harry late at night when you should've been asleep, or he would call to talk about whatever he was thinking.

To anyone else, it wouldn't make sense, but it made sense to you and Harry. There was no pressure to be more, no urgency to define what you were doing, and that seemed to work for both of you.

"I'm perfectly happy right now," you said, and you were.

It had been a long time since you'd felt this content. Your breakup with Gavin left you feeling guilty and ashamed. And deep down, you knew you already felt more for Harry than you did for your ex, and that made you feel horrible too. Part of you still felt you were being greedy by trying to be this happy, that you should just take what you were given and try not to press your luck.

Sylvia took you by surprise by taking your hand. Her fingers were warm and reassuring, just as her eyes were when you finally met her gaze. It was safe to say now that she was your friend. She'd come over to your house multiple times for wine and movie nights, you went out to bars together, you'd met her partner, who was the absolute sweetest person on the planet. You valued Sylvia's friendship, and you valued her as a person. You didn't want to lose her if things with Harry progressed and fizzled out.

"It's okay to want more, Y/n," she said gently.

It was like she saw through all the bullshit and realized what you were really scared of. Harry was the only person who knew everything regarding your past relationship, but you told Sylvia bits and pieces. When you'd told her that you broke up with Gavin the night he wanted to propose, she didn't judge you, or ask why you'd throw away a perfectly good relationship. She was empathetic, and said she was sorry you had to go through that. It felt good to confide in someone who was willing to hear your side of the story, to have them realize if you could've loved Gavin the way he loved you, you would've.

"Maybe," you said. "But like I said, I'm not the only one who has shit to work through."

Sylvia nodded, letting the subject drop. But the words she'd said, It's okay to want more, needled at your brain the rest of the day.

*.*

"You should come with me."

You had been watching Sweet Pea doze contentedly on top of Buddy, who was curled in a ball on his dog bed. The two of them were an unlikely pair, but they'd gotten along great the first time they were introduced, and now you found it adorable any time they napped together.

Harry's voice was low and scratchy in your ear, as if he wasn't too far off from sleep himself. You were huddled together under a blanket on your couch, watching the credits roll on the second movie of the night, but you hadn't paid much attention to anything since the moment Harry pulled you to his chest and tucked his chin in the crook of your neck, peppering your skin with kisses as his thumbs rubbed circles beneath your shirt.

"What?" you asked, not having really heard him. It seemed impossible, but every day his touch became more and more dizzying.

"To Japan. You should come with me," he said. "It would be like a writing retreat."

Harry had mentioned his impromptu trip to Japan over dinner. He seemed excited about it, of getting out of town for a little while and just being alone with his thoughts. Those were his words, though now he was inviting you along.

"I don't even have a passport," you said, a non-answer, as Harry would call it.

"We'll get you one," he said. "Don't you think it would be fun to explore a new city together? Just the two of us?"

"W—What about Buddy?"

"Buddy can come to," Harry said, like it was all just so easy.

You thought back to your conversation with Sylvia a week ago. It's okay to want more, she'd said. At the time, you were content with this thing you and Harry were doing. It was simple and easy and pressure-free. A couple weeks later her words still nagged you. You hadn't mentioned wanting more to Harry, but this was different. This was...big. Appearing nonchalant didn't make it so.

"What are we?" you found yourself asking, hating how cliche the question was, even if you did need the answer all of a sudden.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, but you knew he was too smart to not understand.

Still, you sat up and faced him, forcing him to sit on the other side of the couch to have a proper conversation. "I meant exactly what I said, H. What—What are we doing here exactly?"

Harry's face flushed, the muscles in his arm flexing as he rubbed his neck. "I...I don't know. I thought we were okay with not really defining it."

Not defining it, or not talking about it? you thought, even though that wasn't really fair. You were just as content not to ask as he was until now. Or a few weeks ago, you couldn't exactly tell when you began to want more, or when wanting more stopped scaring you.

"I know, but now you're asking me to drop everything and fly to Japan for...for how long exactly?"

Harry shrugged, and your jaw ticked. "A couple months?"

"A couple months," you repeated, trying to align your thoughts. All you could hear though was, It's okay to want more. Taking a deep breath, you said, "I think...I think if I'm going to follow someone across the world for a couple months, I would like a definition about what it is we're doing."

"It's a writing retreat, Y/n. We would be working on songs. Just like we've always done."

You weren't sure when you became the brave one. Perhaps it was your conversation with Sylvia bolstering your confidence, or maybe it was Harry's reluctance to acknowledge the situation at hand, you weren't sure, but his reply wasn't enough. Not nearly enough.

"I'd have to find my own hotel," you said. "Or an apartment to rent I guess."

"You'd stay with me obviously," Harry said, and you had to resist the urge to take him by the shoulders and shake him until he started seeing your perspective.

"Co-workers don't live together, H."

"But we're not just co-workers, Y/n. We're—"

Your brows raised, encouraging him to finish, but he ended up shaking his head. Running a tired hand over his face, he said, "I understand what you mean, but I can't...I can't give that to you right now."

You nodded, then stood up. "And I can't go to Japan without it."

It hurt, but at least he was being upfront about how he felt. It wasn't really fair of you to ask for more when both of you had been content to keep things simple. But somewhere down the line, you realized you liked Harry. A lot. You were okay with leaving your history with Gavin in the past, and you wanted to look to the future now. You'd thought that the future might include a relationship with Harry, but he wasn't ready, and you weren't sure if you wanted to wait. So much of the last two years had been waiting, hiding. Now you needed more. You craved it.

You felt like you were in some kind of alternate universe. One where Harry was scared and unsure of himself and unable to admit to what he wanted. You wanted more, and you weren't going to settle for anything less. You wanted to be more than his friend whom he kissed sometimes, you wanted to hear his scratchy voice as he woke up beside you, and you knew he did too, but something was holding him back. You'd spent too much time hiding from life and love to hide with him some more. Part of you wanted to, just because it was Harry, and you cared about him a lot, but a bigger part of you knew what you deserved, and it was okay to acknowledge that.

"I understand," he said, standing up with you.

Both of you were quiet as he gathered his things. You watched his broad shoulders shrug into his coat, the lean frame of his body bend down to put Sweet Pea in her little carrier. You felt the loss of him already, and he hadn't even gone yet, but you could feel the wall going up between the two of you. Both of you were guarded in your own ways, and both of you had been as vulnerable as you could be, but it wasn't enough.

"When are you planning on leaving?" you asked as you walked him to the door.

"Couple weeks," he said. "Just have to get the logistics figured out."

Nodding, you stepped into his offered embrace, letting yourself inhale the scent of his cologne and feel his arms around you for the last time for a while. His nose bumped yours in a move that was so familiar it made your heart squeeze. You weren't sure how long you stood like that, kissing until you couldn't breathe, it was only until Buddy's wet nose nudged the two of you apart that you finally stepped away from him. Harry bent down to scratch your dog's head and let him lick his cheek a few times before straightening back up. He was about to turn and leave when you called his name.

"I don't know what happened," you said, swallowing around the lump in your throat. "If you did something or if she did something to make you so...closed off, and from one heavily guarded person to another, I'm sorry that it happened and that it made you this way. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for in Japan."

Harry grinned, but it wasn't wide enough to show his dimples. Without saying a word, he left, head bent as he walked down the hall, taking a piece of you with him.

Buddy nudged your leg, pulling away from the hall Harry already disappeared down. Your dog's eyes were big and curious and completely unaware of what was wrong, which brought a watery smile to your face. "Come on, bubba. Let's get ready for bed."

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles angst #harry styles album #fine line era #fine line album

[anuncalledbridge]

Leap of faith

Summary: you didn't expect you'd be pulled into a verse where there is no Avenger, no Peter, and no Ned.

Pairing: Miles Morales x (half filo) Stark!reader

Warning: knife, cursing, cursing in tagalog, violence, mention of death.

Previous part

It has been two days since you've been pulled by that strange portal. By some mysterious matter, Gwen and you somehow got into visions academy, an academy which you heard are only for the rich and intelligent kids. Vision Academy wasn't hard and it wasn't easy either but you could manage same goes for Gwen, she was rather exceptional herself.

When night falls you always find yourself feeling alone, sure Gwen was there but she is either sleeping or completely ignoring you. You miss home, you missed your dad, that's the only thing you and Gwen had in common, missing home.

You grabbed your suit deciding to sneak out, you looked at Gwen "wanna go for a swing?" You asked, she was burying her nose in a book "No, I feel tired" she lazily replied.

"Suit yourself, pinkie" You jump from your two-story building and shot a web on a building. You were too deep in your thoughts as you swing. Yesterday you went to visit Manhattan and found absolutely nothing. Manhattan looked so empty without the avenger tower.

There was a spider person like you in this verse but to your surprise, it was a guy, there was no explanation as to how any of this happened but since you got here you made it upon yourself to make some sort of device to get yourself home but it was quite complicated than you thought. The multiverse was somehow in shambles, you hoped that Dr. Strange finds a way to fix this while you were trying to go home.

You sat on a tower watching the city lights; you sat there for a while, thinking of something, anything other than this madness.

You got bored eventually and just decided to look around, your line of sight traveled to each civilian until it landed on a lady being mugged by someone.

"Okay! Need to get these pent-up feelings out!" You stretched your limp arms then you started to shoot your web to the next building.

"Woo! " You shouted, dodging a huge truck as you made your way to the crime "Help-- help me please!" The lady sounded so defeated her broken sobs were heard a mile away making you pick up your pace.

"Ain't it a bit rude, interrupting her well-deserved walk?" You spoke out of nowhere, making the culprit look up from his current position "Who are you!?" He shouted, quite terrified seeing a new sight other than their local hero.

"That's what they always say" You jump from a small building then you started to walk over to him "Never, 'oh! How are you amazing spider-woman?' you know what I mean? No?" You taunted.

"Stay where you are! Or else this bitch dies" he gruffly grabbed the woman's arm as he pointed the knife at her neck.

You gasp "Calling a woman 'bitch'? How would your mother feel if he saw you right now? Pushing you out of her vajayjay must've been a huge disappointment" You clicked your tongue in feigned disappointment.

"Oh well! There's nothing we could do about that" You shrugged. You swiftly shoot your web at the girl, successfully pulling her to you as she yelps at the process.

The culprit backed away dropping his knife and sprinting for his dear like "Hey! Where are your manners!" You shouted.

You were about to go after him but then a silhouette suddenly appeared in front of him catching him off guard, before he knew it he was already stuck on a wall, webs all over his body.

You saw Spiderman right there in front of you, he was talking to the culprit about something then his sight averted to you.

"Saw your little stunt, who are you?" He asked as he inch his way towards you "Ha? no no English." You tried to salvage this situation with your god-awful accent only to receive a laugh "No need to hide, heard you talking about pushing someone out of there-- you know how it goes" he winced.

The lady from earlier had already left after thanking you, so it was just the both of you plus the culprit who was on the wall "Who are you?" He asked again "tangina, papatayin ako ni Gwen nito" (fuck, Gwen is gonna kill me) you muttered. It didn't bother you much but Gwen, Oh dear.

Peter didn't understand a thing you just said, the only thing he caught was the name 'Gwen' "Whose Gwen?" He asked

"No one! It's nice doing business with you Mr. Daddy long legs!" Before you got time to swing your ass to Gwen he said something and you froze.

"I'm Peter, Peter Parker." The deafening silence made Peter uncomfortable a bit. In your verse Peter wasn't the Spiderman, instead, he had lived a pretty normal nerdy life and was your best friend who was obsessed with the star wars lore and Legos.

This Peter was much older than you, you can tell. Peter took off his mask and it completely left your mouth hanging open. Instead of luscious dark brown curly hair, he was blonde, and as you guess he was much much older than you.

"Is this what old age does to you!? Turn you blonde?!" You gestured your hands around him in exaggeration "Time has not been good to you, babes" Peter was offended for all he knows, he was perfect.

"She can talk.." he muttered. "No this isn't fair" he shook his head with a furrowed brow. "I don't know your name and your Identity" he sighs, looking at you expectedly "Oh! Right. Wait a minute, barbie"

"I'm pretty gorgeous so be warned" It feels like you were revealing yourself in a Roblox group chat with a bunch of kids that you and your Peter tried to prank. you pushed the nanotechnology spider logo on your suit and there reveals your face.

"Im--"

"Y/n!"

You didn't expect this...Peter, not your Peter, engulfed you in a tight hug, making you stumble back "O-okay.." you awkwardly said not knowing where to put your hands.

For what felt like minutes he started to sob "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" his breath was ragged if mistaken he'd have a panic attack "Dude, hey...what happened?" You finally asked.

Peter pulled away from you, as he wiped off his tears "I thought you...d-died" he had a hard time looking at you, guilt pooled in his eyes "whaaatt?" You dragged your word, still not processing his statement.

He chuckled softly but the pain is evidently still there "You're mistaken, Peter. I'm not from here, I just happen to stumble here"

"What?" He asked finally discarding his previous feeling "I was pulled by something close to a black hole, which terrified the hell out of me by the way" Peter paced around, still not meeting your gaze, afraid that if he did, he might cry again.

"Kingpin.." he muttered, he was thinking for a while then he finally looked up at you "Wait, how come you're here early? He didn't activate the machine yet" his voice was painted with confusion and a tinge bit of solemnity.

"Beats me, but that is a horrible name" You made a face of disgust while Peter smiled fondly, seemingly remembering something that includes you "You're still the same y/n, well except for the part where you spoke in a different language" that made you smile, although you have no idea what you're getting yourself into or who this exact copy of you is.

"Wanna grab a coffee or something?" You asked, as you ready yourself to swing "at this hour? Sure, why not" he put on his mask and with a last nod he took off swinging, you following behind him.

----

"You married Mj?!" You gaped at him, shaking his head as he took a bite of his burger "Yeah I did, she helped me a lot since... you know" he looked down at the city, he was trying to say something but he was having a hard getting it out; finally he let out a long sigh then he looked at you. "Y-you were too young when you died, Y/n. I couldn't forgive myself"

"Hey, it's not your fault. Even if it's not me I know she won't blame you either." You rub comfort on his back, you don't know a single thing about comforting.

Peter's usual demeanor came back after a few words of horrible comforting and encouragement, and you think he finally has the closure he deserves.

You told him everything about the verse you live in, from the Avengers to your Peter and your father.

"Wait, so this Captain America guy, is always on your 'ass' because you're being too unnecessarily loud?" He questioned "Yes! Good thing I can curse in my own language so he's got nothing on my ass... although he found out one day, didn't hear the end of it. My dad was a snitch" you muttered the last part.

Peter laughed "Your suit is awesome by the way," He asked "I made it!" You smugly said. Peter let out a huff in amusement. "You? You made it?" He said as if he didn't believe your statement but he knew full well that you were capable of making something like that.

You scoffed "Of course I did, I mean how couldn't I?" Peter rolled his eyes at you, he then averted his gaze back to the city. Hanging out with Peter made you miss your Peter more; Sure they were different in so many ways but they somehow share the same traits.

"I've got to go Peter" You sat up from your position, as Peter did the same following your action "See you around?" He asked, "Of course!" You outstretched your hand for a fistbump and he gladly reciprocated.

You both went your separate ways, as you continued to swing back to your dorm. The whole way there you were thinking about how you're gonna tell Gwen this but that didn't really register when you arrived back at your dorm.

Will you're not inside your dorm, more like outside banging the hell out of the window "Gwen! Open this window right now!" You shouted but not too loud, careful to not wake up your dorm neighbor "Hoy Gwen! Anak nang- open this right now Gwen!" (Hey Gwen! Son of a-- open this right now Gwen) You groaned.

Gwen wasn't asleep, you can clearly see the light from your shared bedroom. To no avail, you just decided to give up "tangina, mandaan moto Gwen!" (son of a bitch, mark this day Gwen!) You spoke lastly as you tried to find a window that can access the hall, you just hoped the security guard was asleep.

You found one "Take that Gwen!" You muttered. You already took off your mask and covered your suit with a jacket. You gently closed the window as carefully as you could to not cause some attention. You smiled to yourself "'Another night another slay and I served--" and you spoke too soon.

You felt someone crash into you but you didn't fall it just surprised you, but the person who bummed you did. Miles groaned as he tried to focus his vision, he swore a huge guy must've bummed into him but then he looked up.

"Oh"

"Are you okay, wait-- are you sneaking out?" You asked as you help him up "N-no" he stuttered. He regained his balance then he finally got a good look at you.

Your hair was disheveled and you got a bag forming under your eye but you still look good, at least that's what you think about yourself.

You hummed looking at him suspiciously "Right..." He looked anywhere, avoiding your observant eyes "I-- uh, I was trying to--" he rubbed his neck with his dominant hand while his other hand was gesturing around.

You laughed "Dude relax, I'm not gonna snitch on you-- unless you're trying to snitch on me" You feigned seriousness "No! I-I swear I will not!" He replied almost immediately.

"I'm just playing with you, but if you don't want to get caught, don't go this hall if you're trying to sneak out"

"Then why are you here?"

You pursed your lips and clicked your tongue "I- you-" Miles knitted his brow together, awaiting your reply. You let out a sigh.

"you know what? I think I'm gonna snitch on you" You narrowed your eyes at him. Miles laughed, his previous nervous demeanor decapitated and instead, he tried to cover it up with faux confidence.

"you can't do that now, can you? I'm Miles Morales." he smiled. He had that kind smile that can make you melt.

"You're new, right? I-- I'm actually new too" You noticed he was growing nervous. You nodded "I guess...I saw what your dad did earlier" you smirked, as he groaned in embarrassment.

"Please don't make me remember that," he said with an exaggerated sigh. The scene between Miles and his Dad brought a frown across your face, it awfully reminded you of your dad.

"Oh, I doubt that. That's gonna stick with you as long as I'm near" You started to walk as he followed after you.

"I never caught your name--"

"Probably because, I didn't throw it, Morales" you blatantly said. Miles rolled his eyes a growing smile made its way to his lips.

"I didn't mean it like that, and just call me by my first name, it's weird" You chuckled "Sure, Morales" Miles threw his head back laughing.

The pair of you blindly walked through the hall, forgetting about the curfew entirely "Aren't you going to sneak out?" You asked Miles.

Miles chuckled nervously "I was gonna, but I'm just too tired, you know?" Miles wanted to sneak out and talk to his uncle but he didn't want to miss this opportunity into making friends.

"Am I really that good to hang out with for you to miss your daily sneak-out sesh?" You smirked as you leaned in closer to him. Miles was tense he couldn't say a word, your breath was fanning onto him and he can basically smell your perfume.

Suddenly a whistle echoed at the end of the hall making both of you turn your head to the source "Isn't it a bit too early to shag your classmate!" The guard shouted. "you'll both face deep consequences about this!"

"Run." You whispered into his ears, and Miles swore he could feel goosebumps. Before he even got time to process his dilemma, you grabbed his arms without warning, and god you were strong.

"Isn't it a bit too early to listen to the exclusive spider man Christmas song?!" You shouted with a laugh. Miles who heard your statement snorted and let out a bark of laughter.

"I didn't know you had such great taste in music!" Miles counter back and laughed. He peeked from his shoulder to see the guard who was running after the both of you; the way the guard ran made Miles laugh even harder his stomach hurting.

You looked back seeing the same thing and just like Miles it had you crackling. To say the guard wasn't flustered was an understatement, that enough made him determined to catch you both. Both of your laughter was so loud some of the students came out of their dorms and that alone distracted the guard from chasing after the both of you.

It took you a while to find a safe place to finally get peace. Mile was out of breath, he was panting like a dog; with laughter mixed with a full lap run, who wouldn't?

"you look dehydrated," you said out of amusement.

"Really? I didn't think it was that obvious" he remarked between ragged breath.

You sat down, him sitting down next to you, he was still out of breath "Why are you so unaffected-- I mean like, you basically ran through the whole school" You side glance at him "Mama mo blue." (Your mom is blue) that was so out of pocket even for Miles. Honestly, you didn't feel like talking, you loved Mile's company but you were just too tired, everything was just so overwhelming.

"No she's not, bet yours is" That made you chuckle, Miles understanding parts of your Filipino jokes brought you smiling wider.

"My mom is dead." You laughed seeing Mile's color drained from his face "I'm so sorry--" he was genuinely trying to apologize but he burst out laughing making you laugh harder.

"I'm serious though-- I'm sorry" his laughter subsided, replacing it with a sympathetic look "No need, Miles. It was a long time ago" You smiled reassuringly at him.

Miles grinned, looking mischievously at you "What?" You asked "You called me by my first name" he wiggled his brows "Oh fuck off, dude" You punched his shoulder gently but he still made a sound.

You felt your phone buzz, averting your attention to your phone. Miles watched your smile turn into an annoyed frown as you saw the text on your phone.

"where are you?" you mocked in a high-toned voice. Miles let out a huff of amusement watching you "Now she's worried when she was the one who locked me out!" You complained.

"Roommate?" Miles asked feeling quite the same as you. You hummed.

"my roommate is always on his computer 24/7 sometimes I can hardly sleep at all," he said still looking your way. "Will, let's just say my roommate likes to play pranks with me" you muttered.

"Didn't it cross your mind that maybe she does that because...you always start it"

You scoffed "Strong accusation, but fair point-- and I need to go, she's spamming me" You stand up from your position as Miles frowned.

"You still didn't tell me your name," he said while standing up. You narrowed your eyes, surely you won't tell him your name but you thought of a cool nickname to piss Gwen off.

"Gwendolyn Garcia" you held back a laugh, pursing your lips to conceal it. "Will see you around, Gwendolyn" he enthusiastically said.

"Copy that" Hearing that made Miles groaned loudly and you throw your head back laughing. You both went your separate ways with the previous event still in mind. Miles for sure will cherish the night. You in the other hand still can't sleep.

_____

Tag list: @itstooearly-its3am

#miles morales x you #miles morales #miles morales x y/n #miles morales x reader #spiderman into the spiderverse #fanfic #spiderman #mcu #captain america #tony stark #stark!reader #stark!daughter #peter parker #gwen stacy #ned leeds #spider man: across the spider verse

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Hello hello! Can we have some more Arranged!verse Batman interaction, please?

Another party. Another night. Another escape to the rooftop for a moment's peace and a hidden vice.

Under different circumstances, he'd probably find it funny.

This wasn't though. It was clear you didn't know anything. Nothing he could use anyway. And it was more clear that you didn't trust your husband. You'd been doing all the things a dutiful wife should do- short of sharing his bed.

You accepted his excuses. You accepted him holding your arm in public. You left when he told you to leave and came when he told you to come. Laughed at his jokes. Looked nice. Anything he required. It was what he wanted.

And he realized now it was desperately unfair.

But he had to know.

To know if your sweet, doll like compliance was just a ploy. If it was supposed to lure him into a false sense of security.

"Rough day?" he ventured.

"My father is... less than pleased with my performance."

"Fancy that."

You snort out a cloud of smoke and shoot him a look. "I don't know what to do-" You break off and wrap your arms around yourself for comfort and take another drag. "Short of throwing myself at him I Just- he doesn't even look at me."

"Hn."

"I wouldn't wish this on anyone," you say. Your voice is soft. So soft that he almost didn't hear you.

"Why stay?" he asked, his voice hard.

"Where else would I go?" you ask. "I have no skills, I have no friends, no money... They can find me anywhere."

"It can't be all bad," he snorted. "He's got a reputation as a ladies man-"

"He only kisses me when there are cameras," you murmur, looking away and taking another drag.

"Did you ever kiss anyone-"

"No," you sigh. "And I can't- who knows, maybe I wouldn't like it anyway."

Silence stretched out for a moment and the Batman stepped closer to you, watching you snub out your cigarette "Maybe you wouldn't," he agreed. "but maybe you would."

He gripped your upper arms carefully, sliding one hand up to cradle your jaw in his hand and brush his thumb against your lips. In the half light he can see the shine of your eyes. And he can see you forget to breathe for a moment in the rise and fall of your chest. "Poor little rich girl," he taunted.

"I-I- I should-"

Before you can stammer out a protest, he leans down to kiss you. The barest brush of his lips against yours.

He expects you to slap him. You'd be well within your rights to. But what he doesn't expect is for you to cry. Like some people describe falling asleep. Going from a whimper and a trembling lip into weeping that made his chest hurt.

And he realized he'd made a mistake. Several mistakes. And he wasn't sure who he hated more. You or himself.

#Bruce Wayne #Bruce Wayne x reader #arranged!verse 2.0 #ask answered #minors dni #reader insert

[make-me-imagine]

Two Hearts, Eight Words

Plot: Though not entirely versed on the traditions of Valentines Day, Spock does know it often includes two things. A gift, and a confession.

Pairing: Spock x Gn!Reader (short-term established relationship)

Requests: "I think I am in love with you." + Him not understanding it but going like “It’s custom for your species to do something on this specified date so I got this for you”

Requested By: @anonymousewrites and @oneshortstack

Warnings: I tried to be neutral with the gift he gives the reader, but if bracelets aren't your thing I'm sorry!~ Use of Y/n once or twice. A mention of "drinks" but no alcohol is mentioned specifically. Kissing towards the end.

Words: 1.1k

-

Spock stood outside your quarters for a few moments as he rehearsed what he was going to say in his head. It was not often he felt nervous, but you often tended to bring it out in him, even after you had entered into a relationship.

Finally making his presence known, he waited patiently for you to open the door. As it slid open, revealing you, he felt his heart jolt when you grinned at him.

"Hello Spock."

He bowed his head sligthly "Y/n." Looking past you to make sure you were alone he met your eyes again "May I come in?"

"Of course." You said as you stepped aside.

As you watched Spock walk into your room, you noted he seemed a bit more stiff than usual. Turning to face you, his face was more stern as well.

"Is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine, I'm not disturbing your work am I?"

You shook your head "You never do Spock."

A small smile seemed to cross his face momentarily before he spoke "I believe, back on Earth it is the holiday Valentines Day."

As he said this, you felt your heart jolt a little, you had realized this, but you did not expect anything since Spock was often not aware of human holidays.

"Yes, it is."

"You seem surprised I know that."

You chuckled softly "Well I wasn't sure you'd ever really heard about it."

He quirked his brow "These past few days it has been impossible to escape it. I've heard most of the human crew members discussing it. Though, I did also now about it beforehand."

"If you are worried I'm expecting something, you don't have to do anything." You said with a reassuring smile, not knowing if he cared to celebrate at all.

He quirked his head slightly "In the past when Vulcan holidays or traditions are common, you often go out of your way to help me celebrate them. I wish to do the same for you. For Valentines Day, it’s custom for human to do something on this specified date, so I got this for you”

You watched as he pulled something from behind his back, a thin rectangular box held closed with a ribbon

"Oh." You took it gently as he handed it to you, your breath caught in your throat for a moment. "Thank you Spock."

Opening the box, you revealed a delicate bracelet with a beautiful orange stone.

Spock saw your face light up and could tell you liked it. "It was made on Vulcan, I thought you might appreciate it's beauty and craftsmanship."

"It's amazing Spock, thank you." You grinned at him as you took it out of the box.

Spock stepped forward, taking the bracelet from you as he gently held up your wrist with his other had. You smiled as he placed it around your wrist himself. When he was done, he locked eyes with you and smiled.

Stepping forward, you pressed a kiss to his cheek "Thank you."

"You are welcome Y/n." He said softly, his voice sending a light shiver up your spine. "I hope you are also free for dinner, I wish to dine with you as well."

You smiled and nodded "I'd love that too."

"Our usual time?"

You nodded "Yes."

--- ---

A few hours later, after Spock had left you and gone back to his station, you finished your work, all the while, anticipating your dinner with him.

You decided last minute to get him flowers. You were not sure what he would really think of them, but you hoped he would appreciate the gesture. Especially since he decided to do something for you.

Heading towards his quarters, flowers in hand, you received some amused and knowing looks from other crew members, as well as a cheesy joke from Erica.

As you stood outside his door, your eyes cast down at the bracelet you had put back on. You smiled as your heart fluttered in your chest.

When the door slid open, revealing Spock, you grinned at him as you handed him the flowers.

"These are for you."

Spock looked at the flowers as he took them, blinking a few times before you saw his lip quirk. As he looked back into his quarters, you followed his line of sight, spotting flowers sitting on the table.

"We seemed to have the same idea."

You grinned as he gestured for you to come inside. Walking over to the bouquet of lilies he got you, you smiled before you looked at him again "Thank you, they're beautiful."

"And thank you. I have never received flowers as a gift." He said as he stared down at the orchids you got him.

You felt a blush crawl across your cheeks, but amusement lined your face.

"That's a shame, everyone should at least once."

He met your eyes and hummed lightly, as if thinking about your comment. Turning he looked over to the dining table wear he had prepared dinner. "Shall we eat?"

You nodded and smiled as you followed him to the table.

Once you had finished eating, you sat on the floor side by side, drinks on the table as you talked. Spock, who held your hand in his, gently caressed his thumb over your skin. After a moment of silence, he spoke softly as if thinking over his words carefully.

"If I am correct, it is often that on Valentines Day, people confess their feelings to others."

You nodded "Yes, it's how many first dates happen and its the beginning of a lot of relationships too."

"We are already in a relationship."

You giggled softly "Yes, we are."

"Yet I still wish to tell you."

You tilted your head as you eyed him, your ears burning a little. "Tell me what?"

His eyes finally left your hand and met yours. He stared at you in silence for a moment before he spoke, his voice deep, but soft "I think I am in love with you."

You felt your heartbeat pick up as your breath caught in your throat for a moment. Your ears and neck burned as your chest tightened.

"And are you okay with that?" You spoke slowly, somewhat weary of his answer

Slowly a smile spread across his face "Yes, I am."

A smile crossed your face as well as you let out a soft breath "That's good, because I think I'm in love with you too."

Spock's head tilted a bit as he lifted his hand, gently caressing your cheek before he placed his fingers under your chin. Leaning towards each other, your lips touched softly as you kissed. Pulling away for a second, you kissed again deeper and longer this time.

Pulling away after a few more moments, your eyes locked as you smiled at him "Thank you for celebrating Valentines Day with me."

"Thank you for allowing me to share it with you." He replied smoothly before he pulled you in for another kiss.

xx End xx

Ending fics smoothly is the bane of my existence, it's so hard lol. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed~ Reblogs are highly appreciated, Likes and comments as well <3

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @rexit-mo, @onuen, @imaginesfire, @witchygagirl, @alexxavicry

Star Trek/SNW/Spock Taglist: @starfleetimagines, @groovy-lady, @asgardianhobbit98, @agent-catfish-kenobi, @starship-argoo, @cs-please, @gatefleet, @tinymushrooms, @iinmysights

#Spock (snw) x reader #Spock (SNW) #Star Trek Strange New Worlds #Spock #Spock (snw)/reader #snw #star trek imagine #strange new worlds x reader #spock fluff #spock (snw) fic #star trek snw fic #strange new worlds imagine #spock imagine #spock oneshot #spock one shot #valentines fic #valentines 2023

[openshanklygates]

Doubt Creeps In

Whumpril 2024 April 9th, 2024 Self-Doubt Chuck Mambo/Adrien Pike (OC) Apocalypse Verse

The quiet hoot of an owl was the only sound as Adrien Pike shoved the last of his belongings into the faded knapsack he carried. He didn't want to do this. Leaving so late at night could be dangerous out in the Wasteland. It was easier for the worst of the worst to get a hold of you at this time of night. But with the sun up, that meant that the two men snoring on the other side of the dimming fire would also be up.

And Adrien didn't have it in his heart to look Chuck Mambo in the eyes as he left.

It wouldn't be the first time that Adrien had left his sleeping partner. When the doubt crept it, when Adrien was unsure of where they were headed, it drove him away. Things had been fine enough lately. The little nomadic duo had been comfortable enough living off scraps of left over encampments. It felt good and right, as right as the end of the world could be. It wasn't until they had reunited that Adrien had felt that doubt in the corners of his mind.

TK Cooper was unsuspecting like that.

TK and Chuck had been as thick as thieves in the world before. It was their personalities, kind and soft, that made them so similar. There was an edge to TK, however. Chuck could be too soft when it came to a fight. TK, however? TK did what needed to be done, no questions asked. It was the one thing Adrien admired for him. TK covered any spot that Adrien could possibly fill.

Adrien shouldered his pack, about to leave, when he heard the voice from behind him, "What do I tell Mams when he asks why you left?"

He stopped, turning his head to look over his shoulder. The outline of TK Cooper sat up, using a stick to poke the dying embers of the fire. "Teeks...I..."

"You what, Adrien?" TK questioned again, "You'd do this to him? Just up and leave in the middle of the night?"

"I'm doing this because I c-"

"You care?" TK scoffed, "Ya have a funny way of showing it! Do ya know how badly you almost broke him last time? Hm?"

Adrien turned to face TK, "What would he need me for, hm? He's got you, mate!"

TK stood, his height towering over Adrien's, crossing over to the shorter man. Adrien bristled, ready for the fight he was sure was coming. Instead, TK wrapped his gangly arms around Adrien, "You dolt! He's not the only one who needs you! It's me and you and him against the world! Not or!"

Adrien seemed to melt into the other man's chest, letting his shoulders sag, "You mean..."

"Can't defend him on my own," TK laughed, looking down at Adrien, "now c'mon. Let's get back to bed. Least we'll be packed in the morning."

#whumpril 2024 #kays whumpril 2024 #aew imagine #progress imagine #chuck mambo #original character #character: chuck mambo #character: original character #character: adrien pike

[menacing-menace-rat]

Hey, could you do a headcanon for what it's like to date Data?

Sure thing! Thank you for asking! You are my first ask and I'm super excited to make this for you! 🤗

🤖💕Dating Data Headcanons💕🤖

You two had known each other for months. You loved to hear him talk. He was so well versed on everything you could think of and he seemed to enjoy talking to you so much.

It was Will who convinced Data to ask you out when you all were stationed on earth for a few days.

At first Data didn't see the point. He couldn't see how your relationship could be any better. He loved the late night talks about everything. How could that get better?

It was only when he saw a couple holding hands that it hit him.

He wanted to hold hands, he wanted to be close with to you in ways that would be inappropriate for friends.

Funnily enough sex wasn't really one of the things he was thinking about. He wanted to share a room and hold you as you slept. He often thought about holding you on nights when you'd fall asleep during the very long talks.

He deemed it highly inappropriate and never did but the want never left him.

He very much wanted to have more time with you so he decided what he had to do.

He knew well enough to wait till you were alone in the lab before he asked.

"Dr. (Y/L/N) I enjoy your company and it has been brought to my attention you enjoy my company as well. Would you please accompany on a date down to earth? It has a museum dedicated to earth trends, I have read alot about. I know how you enjoy early 21st century trends from earth.

He continued by telling you about every exhibit that was there.

How could you tell this inorganic man no?

That night the two of you shared an incredible time at that museum during which you had to explain boy bands and skinny jeans to him.

After he took you to a small restaurant for dinner. He talked about the entire physiology of Klingons while you eat after you asked a question about Worf's hair.

The conversation carried late into the night as talks with Data often do but you adored it.

Days after you had to ask to date him officially.

He cocked his head in the familiar way he often does and then smiles and agrees.

It was soon after he started to move your stuff into his room. (His room was slightly bigger and closer to both the labs and the bridge.)

Dating him gave you some new insight into this funny Android man.

For one his skin seemed to take on temperature easily.

At first his hands were cold until they rested against your skin long enough to become warmed.

Speaking of his skin it was the smoothest thing you'd ever felt. His face would rub against yours and it felt almost like cool hard velvet

He seemed to have a very human ritual to his day.

You were a little ashamed to admit you figured he'd plug in somewhere to sleep but no.

He lays down in bed with you and relishes in the act of holding you.

He doesn't seem to sleep though.

He had learned some things about you as well it seemed.

He knew all your favorite food and the spots you'd like to sit in.

He also learned that humans can cry when happy as well. Before the discovery he thought he'd done something very wrong.

Data had memorized your work schedule and would wait for you to be done with your work before proudly taking your hand and walking you to your next experiment.

It almost reminded you how 21st century high school kids would walk each other to their classes.

While this hand holding made you both happy some crew members would tease you for it. (They tried to tease Data about it as well but he didn't take its teasing. He was very excited to talk about your guy's perfect hand holding positions.

There were some rough patches though.

Before Data was confident in his ability to be a good partner he'd ask much of the bridge for advice.

Some advice was better then others.

Will told Data to be adventurous. To keep things exciting. (He was speaking mostly in the bedroom.)

This of course lead to a terrifying trip to the Holodeck where he took you rock climbing while being chased by giant birds of some kind, resulting in you spraining your wrist.

Worf recommend combat. Thankfully Data knew better then to actually try and fight you but he insisted interpreted worf's recommendation as 'play fighting'

This started a whole week of being lifted over Data's head and gently tossed on some softer surfaces.

Or at random points he's take you down to the floor and pin you there with a wide expectant smile.

Geordi was your saving grace. Finally he sat Data down and explained that you like him because he's himself. That he doesn't need to act like Riker or Worf to keep you happy.

This didn't take Data long to understand. Quickly you two were back to long talks and going to museums again.

You couldn't be more pleased.

Data would do almost anything for you. He wasn't blind to the effort you put into the relationship he regularly told you so (at less than opportune times) but all the same it was appreciated.

You couldn't imagine how this less then conventional relationship would work and yet you never had any doubts all at once.

Thank you so much for reading. I'm sorry if it is clunky. I hope this was what you had in mind.

I left out any sex stuff because the ask didn't say anything about it.

#star trek next gen #data soong #will riker #lieutenant worf #geordie la forge #headcanon #first time making something like this.

[jovialjuggernaut-draws]

“There’s people outside who look like they want your head on a platter.” “Aww jealous?”

May I please have some riddlejokes 🙏

I will take any verse given

"There're people outside who look like they want your head on a platter."

"Aw, jealous?"

Jokes had to bite down on his tongue to keep the laughter from spilling out (unsuccessfully)(he could tell, because the little guy looked absolutely hilarious, all frowny and red-faced)(like a tomato left out in the sun too long)(that had also gotten a frowny face drawn on it in sharpie).

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Eddie yelled at him, flailing his arms like he was trying to look all big (definitely didn't work, the guy was, what, five foot? Harley-sized, anyway). "I thought you had a fucking plan! There was a reason you asked for my damn help, wasn't there?!"

"Of course there was!" Jokes cackled, unable to hold it back with his mouth open, even if it made Eddie get even redder. "Needed someone little to fit in the box! Couldn't find Harley, still had your number, problem solved!"

"To fit in the- Fuck you!" Eddie snapped, flinging his dumb little hat to the floor, where the poor thing got a big dent. (HA! Like Harvey Dent?! Oh, that was a good one, he should remember that for later)(Didn't know how he'd get the guy somewhere he could fling him but it'd still be a good joke if he could pull it off)(and wasn't that half the fun, anyway?) "I can't believe- If you didn't already have a fucking plan, isn't that more reason to actually use my damned help?!"

Oh, yeah! Eddie was a Plans Guy! A Brainiac! A Thinky Geeky! A regular ol' Smarty Farty! He did the puzzle thing, with the tricks and the traps and the clues- wait. Didn't his plans always fuck up? Because of the clue thing?

"Sorry, Eddie. You've just got no comedic timing," Jokes taunted, another burst of laughter spilling out of him at Eddie's angry little face.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! You'd rather be trapped in a fucking standoff with the goddamn GCPD inside a baseball cap warehouse- the worst place for improvised weapons I've ever been trapped in, by the way- than let me lend a hand because- and I quote- I don't have comedic timing?!"

"Uhh, yeah," Jokes confirmed, not entirely sure why he needed to. Pranking the cops by having Eddie pop out of a hat box and then getting trapped in what was essentially a giant hat box- how was he missing the obvious humor in this?

"Fine. Okay. Fine. I can fix this. I'm good at fixing- Stay here. I'm going to get us out of this," Eddie ordered (looking SO silly)(all pompous and tiny)(like a little girl playing princess)(if that little girl was wearing the ugliest suit on earth and was also a gay adult man)(the pose and expression were exactly the same, though).

Eddie ran off, disappearing around the shelves of hats and boxes, further into the warehouse. Jokes wondered when Eddie would figure out the place was used by their good pal Hatter, and not only had a weapon stockpile on hand but several extra exits. He hoped it wouldn't be too long, because then the punchline would get ruined. Timing is everything in comedy, after all. Damn, Jokes should have dragged the clock guy into this one. He'd probably be better at this than Eddie-

"Wait a fucking second-" Eddie's voice drifted across the aisles. Jokes sauntered over, ready to appear over his shoulder just at the right moment. "Is this Jervis's fucking- FUCK!" Eddie screeched, startled by Jokes' sudden appearance (HA! Perfect timing! What was he just saying- well, thinking, really. Whatever).

"Hey, look, you found the door. Ain't there a riddle about that?"

Eddie rolled his eyes, even though Jokes had tried throwing him a bone, and stomped his way over to the secret tunnel. "Where does this lead?"

Ugh. So slow. Jokes slapped his ass as he passed, ducking into the passage himself. If Eddie was going to be a pussy-cat about it, he could play with the piggies out front. "Only one way to find out!"

"H-hey! Wait for me!" Eddie whined, hurrying after him.

Good. Jokes had hoped he'd come along. He'd probably need a human shield when ol' Batsy caught up. "Anything for you, buddy," he crooned, and shut the door behind them.

#only for you bestie 💖 #riddlejokes #dc: joker #riddler #edward nygma

[just-horrible-things]

Some aftermath for the last piece. @crash-bump-bring-the-whump 's wonderful angel Daniel is not present, but is responsible for the trauma here.

‘Verse: crossover Story: Non-canon aside to Unlikely Salvation, co-author @whump-sprite Timeline: Somewhen Arc 4

Vivisection Aftermath [Prev]

The beds are little more than cots. Narrow for one person, much too narrow for two. Ari is mostly on top of Alex, face buried in the crook of his neck. Her legs entangle with his, her arms are locked around him. One is trapped underneath him and going numb.

He's cold to the touch, but she doesn't mind. If she can lend him some heat, she's glad.

For a long time, they only have one thing to say each.

Alex says "I'm sorry," over and over. "I'm so, so sorry."

Ari says "I love you, Alex. I love you. I love you. I love you."

Eventually they drift into something like sleep. Alex's whistly breath evens out. Ari isn't sure if she sleeps per se but she loses time.

She stirs when he does. The desperate closeness ensures that every twitch is transmitted from one to the other and she isn't sure which of them moved first.

Alex's hand is cool against her forehead, but not as cold as it was. He strokes through her greasy hair, but it tangles around his fingers.

Yesterday feels like a nightmare she hasn't quite woken from. Her mind shies away from the knowledge that it was real, and that today could be the same or worse.

"I'm sorry," Alex murmurs again. He sounds like her. She hums against his shoulder.

They lie quietly, wondering how long they have left to rest.

"You know," she ventures softly, "it… wasn't your fault… ri-ight? You know that… you didn't do anything wrong? I don't think you did anything wrong." "Thank you," he answers, just as quietly. He sounds tired and unconvinced.

Ari nuzzles against his neck, hard enough that he has to lean away a little.

"Dunno if you'd have been able to do that to me," he says. "Dunno if I'd have been able to heal myself. That's why." Tears well up, hot and uncontrollable. A tiny sob shakes Ari's shoulders. "I don't… I don't know," she agrees. "But I don't think I could've. I'm sorry." "I'd take pain for you any day, you know that." "I know. You're so brave, and, so smart, and, strong and, I love you Alex I love you."

She's crying hard again, and he hugs her tight. She never wants him to let go again. She knows he'll have to.

——

Rescue doesn't feel any more real than the rest of it. Ari clings to Alex as much of the time as she physically can. Taryn wraps them in blankets and brings them hot drinks and does everything, says everything right and Ari doesn't know where her emotions have gone but she just feels numb.

She tries to return to Alex's side after reluctantly letting go of him long enough to shower, and finds him crying. Doubled over hyperventilating, holding his own ribs. When Ari tries to hug him, he flinches away.

Panic starts to rise in her throat, mirroring his. Of all the feelings to get back this is the one she wants least.

"Alex," she implores him, "A-Alex what is it, can I hug you?" "I -- I -- I –" he stammers, "Ari --- I, I cut --- cut you open --- how --- h, how can you --- l-look at me –" "Alex, love, no." Tears spill down her cheeks. "You didn't hurt me, that monster hurt me, you protected me." He hides his face from her. "I --- did –" he insists "-- I cut --- with a fucking scalpel --- wasn't him --- didn't even torture me to make me —"

She tries to reach for him again, and he pushes her hands away. "-- don't touch me, don't deserve –" "Please, love. I-it wasn't your fault, it wasn't you he was gonna – gonna – you made good choices, you protected me, Alex."

"-- can't – breathe –" he confesses "-- just said – yes sir –" "Please let me hold you." "Why – would you want to –" "Because I love you, I love you so much Alex, more than anything. You didn't hurt me it was your hands but it wasn't your fault, please, I just want to hold you."

He hesitates, but he nods, very slightly against his arms. It's the permission she needs to put her arms around him. She holds tight and sobs into his hair. Alex takes deeper breaths, and after a couple of seconds he uncurls enough to put his arms around her ribs.

"I love you," she repeats, soaking his hair with her tears, "I love you so much, Alex, it's the only thing that matters." She rubs his back and he breathes instead of gasping. He shakes in her arms. "You're so smart and so brave and I love you, I love you, I love you."

She knows how he's hurting and it's so unfair. Alex is the last person in the world to deserve this kind of guilt.

"I'm glad you chose," she tells him, "I'm glad 'cause I was gonna, gonna get us killed or wo-orse. You did the smart thing, you did the brave thing, you kept us alive. You protected me." "Then –" his voice is as choked as hers "-- then why doesn't it, it f-feel that way?" "Because that monster… he did this to us, he hurt us, Alex. He-e was fucking… fucking with us, fucked me up, fucked you up. His fault. Not yours."

"But I chose." A hollow whisper. "I chose you." "You made the best choice, the only choice. I'd do it a hundred times rather than lose you. You saved us."

He sobs, and so does she, and she pulls him further into her lap so she can rock with him, searching for comfort in shared, rhythmic motion.

"You're so brave," she whispers. "I'm sorry you had to choose. But you had to, it wasn't a real choice."

Gradually, the tears slow. Ari finds Alex's hand with hers, and interlaces their fingers.

"I trust you," she says. "I never forgot that. I knew you were doing the best for me you could, all the way through. I knew you were protecting me from that thing. It's not gonna change anything about how I feel. It, i-it was awful for both of us but it's not gonna change anything. I still wanna be with you. I wanna hold you. I love you. I love you so much." "Love you too," Alex mumbles into her shoulder. She hugs him tighter. "We'll get through this. We'll be okay again. We will."

#my writing #verse: resistance crossover #ariadne milonas #alex morgen #unlikely salvation alt

[amberjazmyn]

leaving

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - leaving 

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - tears, people leaving and others almost leaving but not actually 

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - with the lyrics of westlife's song "leaving" we will see all four of the male cast of supernatural deal with someone they love leaving them or on the verge of leaving, a verse or line or two of the song describing it

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - this was just an idea that came from the top of my head that i've had for a while but not in this format and whilst it is labelled like an imagine/one-shot it's going to be formatted like a preference where i'm going to have all the boys names sectioned with the little one-shot with the lyric in bold italics and it'll be written in lowercase. 

masterlist listen to "leaving here!

- - - 

jensen ackles: 

watching the clock on the wall, been a while since you called. i can't help but wait, it's late and i can't get no sleep, something's different this time, it just doesn't feel right. 

jensen knew something wasn't right. it was late at night and he was focused on the clock on his wall, it had been a while since you had called and he couldn't help but just wait for you to come home, it was late at night and the actor couldn't get himself to fall asleep. he could tell that something was different this time, it just didn't feel right and he couldn't put his finger on it. 

you had left for work and said you weren't sure what time you'd get off work. it was a lie, you did know what time but, you didn't want jensen to know that. you had been acting strange lately and you had hoped that jensen hadn't picked up on it. you hoped that but, you knew he had picked up on it, even though he was busy with supernatural, he still knew how to keep tabs on you and to make sure you were okay. the reason why you were acting strange was that you had been given a promotion with your job and that meant you had to leave austin, texas. not just austin but the whole of texas and the states entirely and, you didn't know how to deal with it so, you requested from your boss, who gave you the promotion idea, if you could take some time with your response. after getting the thumbs up saying you could take your time with your decision, you started to weigh out your options. was this promotion a good idea? you'd be getting paid more money, you'd be getting to live in and all around europe and meet new people, you'd be regarded as one of the best employees in your workplace but, then you had the cons of this promotion. sure, you'd be getting paid more money but, only by an extra two american dollars so, not really a hell of a lot more, you'd be living in and all around europe without jensen and your family and in all honesty, getting to be regarded as one of the best employees in your workplace really didn't appeal to you as it did to others in your job who had been offered the same promotion. 

the reason why you lied to jensen and told him that you didn't know what time you were clocking off was because you had made a decision about the job promotion. you were going to decline it and then you were going to explain to jensen everything about the promotion and why you'd been so distant the very next morning since it was already so late. however, you didn't expect jensen to still be awake by the time you had come home...

"...jensen, babe, what are you still doing awake? you should be asleep, don't you have a meeting with singer and dabb tomorrow?" you squeaked out worriedly, dropping your work bag to the ground as you saw your wide-awake boyfriend sitting up in your shared bed, a book in his hand, telling you this was his last resort since he had done everything else before deciding to reach for a book 

"i do have a meeting with robert, andrew and the cast tomorrow but that's not until lunchtime and it's only, three o'clock in the morning right now, i should be fine...besides, why are you home so late? how long were you working for today?" jensen responded with a shoulder shrug, as he started to fight sleep and you smiled softly with a pinch of guilt 

"i was working from six am to just after eleven pm. i...i was in a meeting with my boss towards the end of it because, he had, a couple of weeks ago, offered me a job promotion and i..." 

"...a job promotion? babe, that's amazing! what did you say? please tell me you said yes!" jensen was happy and proud of you until he saw the way your face changed and your head shake

"umm, i...i said no, jay..." you trailed off as jensen pouted with confusion, placing the book down on his bedside table as he grabbed your hands 

"...what, why did you say no? what was the job promotion exactly?" jensen questioned, genuinely showing interest and no annoyance or anger that you had declined the offer 

"i said no because the promotion was me having to leave austin and the states entirely and move to live in and around europe for i don't know how long with only a two dollar money increase when it's converted from euros and i wasn't allowed to bring you with me because they brought up the fact that you'd be filming in vancouver the majority of the time so it didn't make sense for me to bring you when all the other employee's who were bringing their spouses would also be doing similar things but, said no to me bringing you because of your "celebrity" job..." you trailed off, embarrassed that you had waited all this time to tell jensen but, he wasn't mad at all, he was just devastated that you were going through all this and all he was worried about was the thought that you were going to break up with him 

"...oh, babe, that's...that's why you were acting so strange..." jensen whispered as you sheepishly nodded your head as you moved closer as jensen opened his arms for a hug 

"...mhm, i'm sorry babe, i...i should have told you from the very beginning and i shouldn't have hidden it from you, i wasn't think..." 

"...babe, stop it! it's okay! i could tell you were on edge and, i genuinely had no idea it was over a new job promotion, i thought you were going to break up with me..." jensen trailed off in his own wave of embarrassment as that made you give him a weird look as he chuckled softly and nodded his head 

"...you what? you thought i was going to break up with you? jensen ross ackles, my darling, you are wronger than wrong! i would never break up with you! i was just acting strange because i was so worried about this job promotion and how my boss would react if i said no but he, he understood and apologised for even offering it to me. especially when he knew i would have most likely said no to it anyway when he mentioned i wouldn't be allowed to bring you with me..." you trailed off as jensen chuckled and shook his head, his hand rubbing his face as exhaustion finally took over him 

"...m'sorry babe, i shouldn't have jumped to that conclusion..." jensen mumbled with exhaustion as he started to fight sleep as you giggled 

"...it's okay babe! but, i think it's time we go to sleep since it's nearly three thirty and you have that meeting in the afternoon," you whispered as jensen nodded his head, thankful that he had placed his book down on his bedside table so he wouldn't end up throwing it into your head in his sleep 

you quickly shed your clothes, keeping your undergarments on and slid into bed, sliding up to jensen perfectly, your bodies intertwined seamlessly as you closed your eyes and within minutes you were knocked out. smiling to yourself that you stood your ground at your work and said no to leaving your boyfriend for a lousy job promotion that wouldn't be that good, it being in europe the only good thing about it. 

jared padalecki: 

have we broken in two? am i really gonna lose you tonight? you come walking in, tears in your eyes pretending like it's alright

you knew you had messed up and you couldn't have been any more apologetic to jared but, you just knew that what you did was unfixable. you and jared's relationship had broken into two and, you were really going to lose him tonight all because of a stupid, drunken mistake you had made. you had watched jensen walking in, tears in his eyes pretending like it was all okay. even though you knew it wasn't. you couldn't take back what you had done but what you could do was reassure jared that it wasn't his fault and take accountability for your mistake. because you two had both promised each other that if either of you fucked up in the relationship, the both of you would take accountability and responsibility for your actions and mistakes, however, this one was the worst one you had to take accountability for. you had gone out to some pubs after a supernatural cast wrap for some celebratory drinks and about halfway through, you had lost count of how many you had and you lost your spouse-to-be, jared padalecki of gilmore girls and newly supernatural fame. and you, for some stupid reason, left your drink unattended, leaving for the bathroom which allowed someone to spike your drink and then have sex with them, which, was when you finally came to was nonconsensual since you clearly couldn't say no let alone yes or even explain to the guy that you were clearly engaged to be married in the next couple of months. 

however, it seemed as though that guy saw your engagement ring but gave no shits because he didn't see jared, your spouse-to-be so, he thought it was irrelevant and he continued to rape you. thankfully, when jared saw what happened, he could tell that something wasn't right and once you had sobered up the next day, he let you explain your side of the story since it was the first time this situation of "cheating" had happened in your entire relationship. 

but this was when it got heartbreaking because, whilst jared understood that you hadn't purposefully cheated on him [even though rape isn't classed as cheating] and was raped, he was left at a crossroads because he didn't know whether to let it go entirely and continue your guys' engagement and then wedding or to call it off entirely. but, after a very emotional conversation with his parents and your parents where he broke down in tears, both sets of parents told him to go with the feeling that was in his heart, not his head because his heart knew better than his head did. he then consulted his new castmate and best friend, jensen ackles and he said the same thing that his parents and his to-be parents-in-law all said so, it seemed as though jared had made his decision about whether or not to continue your guys' engagement and relationship...

...and it was for the relationship and the wedding to be called off because he felt as though, right now, in this very moment two months before the wedding and a month after the incident, he couldn't bring himself to marry you. and that was because just thinking about the fact that you were put in such a compromising situation where he couldn't save you and help you get out of it made him think that in this very season of his life, he felt like because of how fast life with supernatural was going, he wouldn't be able to protect you every single day. and that was why he made the heartbreaking decision to call everything off but with the hope that maybe a couple of years down in the future you two would reunite and jared would go down on bended knee and ask you to marry him again. but, for right now, he couldn't go through with the wedding and it tore his heart into pieces to even tell you that but, you understood and you were thankful that jared never got mad about the incident and was everything that was helpful to making sure you hadn't gotten pregnant from this man or was given any std's or anything else that this man that raped you could have given to you. 

so, right now, you looked at jared for one last time. there were tears in his eyes as he had all of his bags packed ready for him to leave the house that you two had bought together just after you announced your engagement. he had assured you that you were still best friends but that he needed space to think and to be in supernatural and that this space would also, in time, be helpful for you. he also assured that he'd be moving back in with jensen and that he wouldn't stop communicating with you either. he loved you way too much to completely cut you out of his life and you thanked him for that after assuring him that you too loved him too much to cut him out of your life as well. 

"...so, this is it, jared. you're leaving..." you trailed off as seeing jared's teary eyes made you get teary and you hated how much of an empathetic crier you were as jared smiled sadly 

"...mhm, i'm leaving...i...i'm so sorry i wasn't there on that night, i didn't even know where you were and i panicked but, even though i panicked, i still didn't even try to look for you until jensen found you...and i just, want to apologise for how long it took me to find you. if only i had found you sooner, this wouldn't be happening and i..." 

"...jared, don't apologise. it's not your fault at all, it's my fault for even getting so drunk to the point that i stupidly left my drink unattended in the first place. that's why i was put in that position in the first place. my drink was spiked because i stupidly gave some access to do so. but, that's in the past and this is present and, we need to focus on that because, if we don't focus on this moment right here, we never will and then that's just going to cause us even more pain..." you trailed off as jared nodded his head as he wiped away a tear from his cheek 

"...i'm sorry for calling off the engagement and our wedding but, just know that it won't be forever. i'm only leaving for a short time to reel myself back in and see what happens with supernatural but, then, i'll come back to you, i promise. i...i lo..." 

jared broke down as he tried to tell you he loved you for one last time and you didn't do anything but pull him in for a hug. nodding your head, you knew what he was trying to say because you were going to say the same thing. you loved jared more than you cared to admit to anyone apart from your family and friends. you loved jared more than you had loved any man in your entire life. but you knew that you had to say goodbye to this love for a little bit and only until that little bit was over and then he'd come back and he'd propose to you all over again and then you'd have that dream wedding that the two of you had planned to have in france. 

"...you don't have to say it jared, i know that you love me because i love you too. i love you more than i've ever loved anyone and i love you more than i would ever admit to anyone... just, stay safe babe and, have fun with jensen and the show and, i'll see you soon..." you tearfully trailed off and pulled out of the hug as jared nodded his head, wiping away his tears as he took in a big deep breath 

"...please keep those rings safe, it breaks my heart that i'm not bringing them with me. and please, keep yourself safe, it'd kill me if i came back to you and you were hurting still. okay, i gotta go now but, i love you so much and i'll see you real soon..." jared's voice broke off at the end as he let out a sob as he shook his head and opened the door, and left

he left without turning his head to look back at you because he knew if he did turn to look at you, he never would have turned back again to leave. and he knew he had to leave so that he could come back to you and start it all over again. he left because he wanted to come back to you and have that wedding in france. 

so he left and you just couldn't wait for the day that he was going to walk through those doors again, reintroducing himself to you as jared padalecki, just like he did when you two met for the first time all those years ago as kids on the school playground. 

misha collins: 

here come the sleepless nights, here come the tears i'm gonna cry. here comes the last goodbye leaving us behind, oh this can't be right

misha had been prepared for this when he shouldn't have been. he knew the sleepless nights were coming, he knew the tears he was going to cry were building up and on their way. and he was preparing himself for the last goodbye that was going to leave you and his relationship behind and how incorrect it was. it couldn't be right, he thought your guys' relationship had been perfect. but, in fact, the relationship wasn't perfect and you felt awful. you had been cheating on misha behind his back and you felt disgusted by it. you had always told everyone that you were never the type of girl that would cheat on her boyfriend but, here you were, pacing up and down the lounge room waiting for misha to come home so you could tell him the full story and then break up with him so you wouldn't lead him on anymore. it made you sick to your stomach that you had even fallen in love with the guy that you had met that one random night in a bar after a supernatural cast party. the worst part was, you were all-over misha and had barely touched your drink when this guy had come over and started to flirt with you. you couldn't even use the "excuse" that you were drunk even though being drunk is never an excuse, you were point blank sober and were sitting on your boyfriend, misha's lap, when this guy started flirting with you... and you didn't stop him from flirting with you either, you let him look you up and down, touch you, and make sexual remarks whilst your equally as sober boyfriend, misha was right there and could hear every word of it. 

but that was just how you and the guy had met, that wasn't when the cheating in itself started. that started when misha had nicked off to the bathroom and the guy had given you his number, gesturing you to "call him" as he dipped out of the bar to go to the next one with his horny and equally smashed mates. and, this should have been the moment that you ripped that piece of paper with the man's name on it and stayed faithful to misha but, you didn't. you folded up that piece of paper really small and shoved it into your handbag, a shallow reminder to add that guy's number into your phone contacts later but for that moment, had completely forgotten about it since misha had come back from the bathroom. then a pang of guilt struck you in the stomach, giving you the feeling of a stomach cramp. misha then noticed and told jensen and jared and their partners that the two of you were going to go home since you no longer felt well enough to stay into the early hours of the next morning. they all nodded their heads and wished for you to feel better tomorrow and then you and misha left. that very same night, you waited for misha to fall asleep before you grabbed that folded piece of paper and created a new contact with the number of the guy and his name. you then ended up on the phone with him, on messenger with him the whole night and only managed to get three hours of sleep tops after misha had whinged at you to go to bed and that it was late. 

so, after misha whinged at you to go to sleep because it was late, you did because you then felt guilty again, causing another stomach pain and curled yourself up to a very warm misha who smiled as he cuddled you, welcoming you into his arms. and this loop went on for months, you'd spend all day texting and on phone calls with this guy you truthfully barely even knew personally and then feel guilty as soon as you remember your actual boyfriend, misha, resulting in you having the worst stomach pains like period cramps because of the fact you were cheating on misha and you were feeling so guilty about it. then, after another month, you finally decided to stop communication with the guy you met at the pub and decided to come clean to jared and his wife. you had never felt such guilt and sickness as you did when you had to relieve all of the cheating you had been doing over the last few months but, they told you, advised you, to tell misha the second you got home and that it was just time to come clean and tell him the full truth from the very beginning. so, you did. you were going to tell misha everything...

...and now, that's what you were seconds away from doing. you had just heard misha's car pull up into the garage and it made you feel like you were going to puke. tears welled in your eyes as you growled at yourself, you had no right to cry because it was your fault. it was you that had caused so much pain to misha without him even realising it in the first place. you had been cheating on him consciously for months at this point and you were crying? the absolute audacity you had to start crying over the fact that you had cheated on your boyfriend who was absolutely perfect and did not deserve to be cheated on. angrily wiping away at your eyes, you heard misha come in and his cheerful voice which made more tears leave your eyes and made you furiously wipe them away again. 

"...hey babe, i'm home! where are you!" misha had never sounded so happy and you wanted to die because of the news you were going to tell him that was going to absolutely destroy him forever 

"i...i'm in the lounge room mish!" you just knew that as soon as misha heard his nickname "mish" something wasn't right - you would always call him babe or love or darling but, not today and that worried him 

rushing into the lounge room and a worried look on his face, misha was in the lounge room as you sucked in a big breath before you let it out. misha looked mortified as he sat himself down wearily as you closed your eyes, grateful that he had chosen to sit down considering the thing you were going to tell him was going to knock him down for six. 

"what's up, babe? is there something wrong? did i do anything wrong?" misha rushed out as tears already started to pool in his eyes and you cursed at yourself for causing this as you bit your tongue 

"no...no misha, you...you didn't do anything wrong. i...i did. i did something wrong and i shouldn't have waited this long to tell you..." you trailed off as misha's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, he didn't know what you'd done and why you had waited this long to tell him so he just looked at you to tell him 

"...what did you do?" he nervously asked as he tried to hold back the tears that pooled in his eyes and you just shook your head and yelled at yourself to just say it since you had been forced to say it by jared and gen otherwise they were going to tell him and you didn't want that and neither did they because they knew that it had to be heard from you, not them 

"i...um, remember that night a few months ago when we went to the bar after the supernatural cast party?" you started off carefully as you could see the cogs turning in misha's head as he suddenly nodded his head in remembrance 

"yeah, i do, why babe? what happened?" he questioned, still with no idea about the bomb you were going to throw on top of him in a few minutes as you nodded your head and took in another breath 

"okay, umm, i ask because for these last few months, since...since that night, i have been talking with a man that i met that evening..." you trailed off as it looked like misha didn't know how to react, he didn't want to be that overly aggressive, over-protective boyfriend so he smiled 

"...okay, that's great! i'm glad you've made a new friend, what's his name? where does he work? what does he do? is he funny?" misha was so excited and that broke your heart because that's the way in which you should have been talking with this man, not in the flirtatious, relationship, cheating way that you had been doing 

"that...misha, we...we haven't been talking as friends...we...we've been talking to each other in the same way we talk with each other...misha, i'm sorry but, i...for the last few months, i've been cheating on you with this man and there is nothing else i can say that would ease the pain because it was my fault completely because i wasn't even drunk that night that i met him. i was perfectly sober and i allowed him to flirt with me whilst i was together with you. it...it was that same night that we left early because i didn't feel well. i allowed him to give me his number to contact him after and i didn't rip the piece of paper up afterwards even though i knew i was dating you. i allowed a man who was drunk to flirt with me and give me his number even though i had an amazing, handsome, talented boyfriend of my own. i am so sorry misha, you truly didn't deserve to be cheated on and i am so sorry it's taken me months later to tell you the truth. i...i just got so ashamed of myself that i was getting unwell over it that it just completely spiralled out of control and it was only until jared and gen gave me an ultimatum that if i didn't tell you today that they would tell you themselves that i kicked myself into gear and decided to tell you..." you couldn't believe what you had just told misha but, you had too and watching his reaction was heartbreaking, his whole demeanour changed and you had never seen him sadder 

you then looked as his hand went down to his pocket, tears streaming down his cheeks as he grabbed out a small velvet box and you felt yourself being sick in your own mouth as misha quietly spoke up.

"...i...i was going to ask you to marry me during dinner tonight..." he sniffled as he tried to compose himself but wasn't able to as his body shook with each of his cries 

"...i...i am so sorry misha. if only i could turn back time and just rip up that piece of paper, i could have fixed everything but, i didn't and now, i have to break up with you because you deserve to be in love with someone and go down on one knee to someone who won't cheat on you as i have. but, in saying that, the reason i cheated on you wasn't because you didn't love me enough or because you didn't satisfy me enough. you did love me enough and you satisfied me every single day, i was just insecure and seeing a drunk guy be nice to me put me over the edge and i just allowed him to take advantage of me. i don't think i'll ever stop loving you misha but, i'll never expect you to continue loving me. i'll see you maybe one day again and i hope by that time, you'll be happy and you'll have forgotten all the hurt i'll have caused you...goodbye misha collins, i truly did love you but you deserve better..." you whispered as you kissed your ex-boyfriend one last time on his head and you left him - all of your stuff already packed up in your car

the moment you left, misha broke down into weeps, loud wails leaving his body as he hugged the pillow next to him. you had just left him and now all that he was going to get was sleepless nights and days where he'd just do nothing else but cry. thankfully, jared and gen weren't that far away when you had left your and misha's house and they were right there as misha lifted his head up when he felt the couch dip down beside him. 

looking over to jared, his eyes red and puffy, he wailed into his castmate's shoulder, "she left me jared! i...i was going to ask her to marry me tonight..." misha wept as jared's heart broke and so did gen's - what if they hadn't given you this ultimatum, would that have been a good thing or a bad thing? 

"...i'm so sorry misha, you didn't deserve that! but you'll find someone who'll love you the same way that you love them and one day, you'll be able to go down on that knee and ask her to marry her! but it's just not her and that's okay!" jared whispered as he held his castmate as tight as he possibly could and kissed the top of his brown hair 

"you really think so, jared?" misha sniffled, his tears seeping into his nose as jared smirked and nodded his head as he still kept a protective squeeze to his castmate who was like his older brother

"i know so, misha, everything's going to be fine!" jared whispered and maybe, just maybe, tonight wasn't going to be a sleepless night with jared and gen with misha but he knew the moment that jared and gen left that misha would have those sleepless nights 

but for tonight, he enjoyed having what would be his last proper sleep for a good while and he wasn't complaining because he had his castmate and his wife here to console him for the evening. 

alexander calvert: 

but i know you're leaving, i know that smile, i can tell you've been crying. you're gonna say goodbye, i wish i could stop you, but you've made up your mind, i beg you don't go but i already know you're leaving. 

alex knew you were leaving, he knew that smile and could tell that you had been crying. you were going to say goodbye and alex only wished he could stop you but, it was obvious you had already made your mind up. but he still was foolish enough to beg you not to go but, he already knew you were leaving and that those begs weren't going to sway your decision. you were leaving vancouver, canada for the other side of the world, to move to queensland, australia to reunite with the side of the family that you hadn't seen since you were at least thirteen years old and you had also been given a job promotion in queensland. where your job's company had an office in the sunny state. so, you immediately said yes to the offer and you booked all of your tickets and packed up half of your life to move back to queensland, australia to live back with your family there and work in queensland's office of your current job company. and, when you had told alex about this entire thing, you could tell that he wanted to do everything in his power to prevent you from leaving but, you also knew that he knew he couldn't do that to you. not to his wife. he couldn't force you to live the high life of an actor's wife just because he wanted you to, he knew you were missing your family in queensland and knew that if your job's company ever opened an office back in your original hometown in queensland, you'd go back with the drop of a hat and, that's exactly what you were doing. you were leaving to live your dream in queensland whilst alex flew around the states and world for his tv show, supernatural. 

the whole day felt strange to you and alex. you had spent the day pacing around the house making sure you had all the things you needed from your passport, your australian visa, your boarding ticket to that specific pack of kleenex tissues with the blue background and white clouds on it and to that specific hand sanitiser spray that you took everywhere with you. and once you were confident and felt like you had everything with you and had it all packed away in the range rover, you finally breathed out and took a shower just to rinse off the sweat and the stress that this entire week of trying to pack away your life in vancouver, canada to move back to queensland, australia had put you through. 

and while the whole day for you felt strange, it was even worse for alex. it felt as though he was stuck on the stop button whilst you were just pacing and buzzing all around him and he was locked in a freeze frame in a movie or a theatre show. he just couldn't get himself to move from his spot as he watched you pack up your entire life with him in vancouver. one thing he was madly grateful for was that you two had married just months before you had come to him to tell him about the new job promotion in queensland and how it worked with what was your original plan to just go to queensland to visit your family for a couple of weeks before returning back to vancouver to see the supernatural cast film their newest season and then leave on their convention circuit. that was until this job promotion became such a thing for you that you couldn't ignore it anymore and you had to say yes to it otherwise you would have never forgiven yourself. and that day when you told alex that you had said yes to the job promotion and that you would be moving back to queensland for a minimum of two years at most, you had never seen your husband so distraught yet so proud of you before. whilst alex was devastated that the minimum time spent at this job promotion in queensland was two years, he was inexplicably proud of the way you didn't hesitate to say yes even though it meant that you would be leaving him, your husband, for two years and going back to your home state to work. 

alex couldn't seem to take his eyes off the clock that was above him on the wall of the house that the two of you shared. he could hear the ticking of the clock throughout his entire body and it made him shiver occasionally. he was just staring at the clock as he waited for the moment the clock would turn to five pm because that was the time that you were leaving for the airport to leave for queensland, australia. alex was obsessively staring as the clock ticked, the time passing by... three o'clock pm, three thirty pm, four o'clock pm, four thirty pm, four fourty pm, four fifty pm... until it hit five o'clock pm when he heard his wife's feet come down the stairs, you had just been upstairs doing another once over check just in case there was anything you had left behind when you had found nothing, you had come down the stairs to see alex waiting at the door for you. 

he was already in tears and you had prepared yourself and took in a big breath as you smiled at your husband. you could tell he was filled up with emotions but, the biggest emotion he was competing with, you could tell, was pride. pride for you for reaching for your dream rather than saying no to it just because you wanted to settle down with alex when you could be going back to australia and working your dream job in your home country with your family right by your side. but, the worst part was of course the fact that alex couldn't go with you because he was days from returning back to filming for supernatural. but, that doesn't mean that if he didn't have that film schedule or the convention circuit to go on, he wouldn't have let you go alone, not at all. if he wasn't required to be on set for supernatural or this convention circuit, he'd be hopping on that goddamn flight with you and would be moving in to live in queensland with you for those two years you were to work in that office in queensland. but, he couldn't. 

you were leaving and alex's heart was broken. he couldn't even think of anything else. not even the new season could excite him or bring him out of the state he was in. alex couldn't help the tears which welled in his eyes and then streamed down his cheeks as you two made eye contact before you smiled and opened your arms, pulling alex in for a hug. 

"...so, you really are leaving, babe?" alex sniffled as you nodded your head with a small smile as you pulled out of the hug and then it became obvious to him that you had also been crying like he was 

"mhm, i am leaving al..." you trailed off with a sigh, not really able to decipher if it was a content sigh or a sad sigh 

"...i wish i could stop you, or...or change your mind but, i know i can't do that because you've made your mind up and i shouldn't stop you from leaving to go back to australia...it's just...two years? can we seriously do this for two years? you in australia and me primarily in vancouver except for the months that i'm doing the convention circuit? do you really think we can do it?" alex whispered as he wiped his tears away with a tissue embroidered with mini clouds on them, making you smile, he had stolen your packet of kleenex tissues with the blue background and white clouds 

you smiled softly and nodded your head, "i know we can do it alex, it wouldn't be the first time we've done long-distance and, we're married now, we can do anything. i know two years seems like a long time but, i'm pretty sure doing the whole two years, supernatural will be filming and the convention circuit during the majority of the time and i'll be working all that time so it'll go by so quickly that i'll be home in the blink of an eye. and besides, it is only for two years, alex, it's not like i'm going to live in queensland for any longer than these two years. i can't live in queensland longer than two years anyway, sure, i love australia and i love my family but, canada is my home, vancouver is where i want our future kids to grow up and it's where i want to settle down when i finally decide to leave this job. but, for now, and these next two years, i'll be in queensland doing my thing and you'll be here and all around the states and the world doing your thing and it'll go by so quickly, i promise, after that, i'm never leaving again, okay?" you tried to convince alex that it was going to be okay but, you could tell from his tears and the look on his face that it wasn't going to be okay for a while 

"so, you're sure i can't convince you to stay and take back the offer?" alex sniffled, the tissue covering his mouth as he squeezed his eyes shut tight as you bit your lip, your own tears welling up again as you breathe out and find alex's hand to hold 

"no babe, you can't convince me and even if i wanted to take back the offer, i can't because it's too late. i'm leaving alex and i can't take that back, just please don't forget how much i love you and how i'm already counting the days until i come home and the two years are over!" you whispered tearfully as you composed yourself again as alex sniffled and sobbed softly 

alex then looked up from his tissue and saw the clock, five twenty pm, your flight was due to take off at seven o'clock pm and you should have left a little over twenty minutes ago but you weren't going to leave until you got alex to stop crying. and, right at this moment, you weren't going to leave because your husband was still inconsolable. and you didn't want to leave alex in this sort of a state but, it didn't help that the clock and that time were quickly slipping by. 

"it...it's nearly six o'clock, you...you're going to be late babe, and i don't want you to be late. you need to leave..." alex trailed off as he sniffled and wiped his tears again with the same tissue from before as you shook your head 

"...no, alex, i'm not going to leave when you're in this sort of a state! everything's already in my car and we're just a few traffic stops from the airport, i'll be fine. but i'm not leaving until you stop crying and i see you smile, okay?!" you crossed your arms over as alex sobbed out a laugh as he sniffled and again brought the tissue to his cheeks and under his eyes as that pulled a little at your heartstrings 

"i...i'll be fine babe, jensen and danneel are going to come around later tonight and then tomorrow jared and gen and misha and vicki are going to join us so, i promise i'll be fine and i won't be alone. and i won't be crying all the time..." alex trailed off slightly, knowing that that last statement was a lie, he was definitely going to cry all the time and truthfully, so were you most likely, especially on that twentyish hour flight to queensland

"...don't lie, alex, we all know that you're going to cry the entire time but, don't worry, so will i!" you whispered as you held shane's hands as he chuckled, a sob following after as he closed his eyes again - it cut you up at how hard alex was finding this because it wasn't the first time you guys were doing long distance nor was it the first time you'd have to be apart from one another 

"i'm sorry i can't stay babe, i wish i could but..." 

"...i don't want you to stay, because i know why you're leaving for two years and i couldn't be any prouder of you. and i know that even though you're leaving for two years, i know you're not leaving forever and that, after those two years, you'll be coming back and you'll never leave me again. so, go, i'll be okay, besides, jensen and danneel will be here shortly, i think i'll be alright in the few minutes of you leaving and them getting here. and like i said earlier, you'll be late if you don't leave so, go, i promise i'll be fine and, i'll ring you as soon as i've seen your plane land in queensland. i love you more than words can say and i'm also counting down the days until these two years are over, i'll see you soon..." alex trailed off as he grabbed your face and kissed you as passionately as he had kissed you since your wedding 

smiling and pulling out of the kiss, you grabbed your handbag which was the last thing you had to grab and you walked out of the door, only turning your back to look at alex once otherwise if you had looked more, you would have run back inside that house and never gone back out and would have missed your flight to queensland. and you couldn't do that. not to alex because that would mean that you weren't giving yourself any other opportunities other than being an actor's wife and you didn't want that and you knew that alex didn't want that for you either. so you left and minutes later at a stop light, you saw on your security camera app that jensen and danneel had arrived and you just knew that they would have held alex as he continued to weep as silent tears fell down your cheeks as well as you wiped them away. focusing your concentration back on the road as you drove into the secure underground parking at the vancouver airport before finding a secure parking spot and got out of your car, grabbing all of your luggage that hadn't already been flown over weeks prior and walked into the airport so you wouldn't miss your flight. 

and like alex promised, he rang you the moment he saw that your flight in queensland had landed and the tears that the both of you had put on hold had started all over again as alex was consoled by jensen and danneel and you were consoled by your sister and dad.

 only 729 days left to go before you would be leaving queensland and arriving back in vancouver, canada to be back with your husband and all of a sudden, you couldn't wait for those 729 days to fly by even though days earlier, you had never been so excited to move back home to queensland for two years. 

- - - 

this was so much fun and interesting to write since it's been ages since i've written in this format but i lowkey missed it and i genuinely think this is some of the best writing i have done! i  thoroughly enjoyed writing this and i hope you guys enjoyed it just as much as i enjoyed writing it!

ok ily bye xx

wc; 7948

#supernatural cast #leaving #fluff and angst

[periodicreviews]

50 Cent: The Final Lap Tour

"It might be the final lap, but 50 is forever."

These were the final words from 50 Cent during his appearance in Tampa for "The Final Lap" tour.

In the world of concerts, final doesn't mean final. But it hints that maybe, possibly, it could be. And if it is, and you miss it, you'd miss it forever.

Whether or not this is his final tour, this show made me a believer in 50 Cent again (or whoever behind the scenes orchestrated this).

In my 5th post on this tumblr, I complained about a single event which caused me to lose all faith in 50 Cent. I unfollowed him on Twitter long ago and haven't sought out any information on him. Petty? Maybe. But I was still subscribed to his channel on youtube. When I saw the ad for his tour, I thought despite that tragic event 8 years ago that I should pay money again to see him.

Jeremih

After parking and making the 20 minute walk from the lot to the amphitheater, I arrived with just a few songs left in Jeremih's set. I never looked into his music so I wasn't really missing anything. From the time when he ended, if he started at 7, then he only played for 30 minutes. He seemed to perform only segments of his songs before the DJ would scratch the record to a halt. He also had one of his crew perform their own song. It was all ok, nothing bad but barely anyone was standing. The mixing of the sound seemed to be off as well because it was hard to hear his vocals.

Busta Rhymes

When I originally bought my ticket, I assumed that even if 50 Cent did a repeat of his 2015 performance, then at least I'd have the 2nd act, Busta Rhymes. Without knowing anything about his live show or really anything about him as a person, I just assumed that Busta Rhymes would bring his A game based on the level of technique he uses in songs like "Look at me now". I'm using that as an example because that and "Break ya neck" are really the only two Busta Rhymes songs that I know. I've probably heard some others but they didn't really come up in his set. I'm remembering now that I have a copy of "Come on" from Tiesto featuring Busta Rhymes, but that probably doesn't get performed live.

Anyway, Busta Rhymes's set time arrives. His hype man comes out, makes an introduction while an elaborate throne chair slowly turned to reveal Busta Rhymes sitting there in a relaxed position. There was quite a bit of cheering for him just turning around so he sat there and milked it for a bit.

He launched into his first song and it seemed like his voice was a lot deeper than he sounded on these 10-20 year old tracks that I was familiar with. Not sure if it's age, smoking, other health problems, or some combination of it all. After some quick DuckDuckGo searching, it seems he's definitely struggled with his weight, as well as having had surgery on his throat.

But the vocals don't really matter when you promptly stop the song after either verse 1 or chorus 1. Guy next to me said he had seen him recently and at that previous show it seemed like he was out of breath most of the time but since then he had lost some weight. It didn't seem like he was necessarily out of breath after 1 minute, but maybe this style of show was in recognition of that.

But even if he was only doing 1 verse+1 chorus, I wouldn't be as disappointed of what he was actually doing. Half of the time, he was making the audience sing the verse or chorus so the whole show had more of a sing along feel. Singing along with the show is something people do everywhere and a lot of bands at some point will actively encourage it for a portion of a song. But this was my first time at a show where I felt like I was getting so little from the original artist and too much from the audience.

The only song he sang a full verse+chorus on was his new single, though that's to be somewhat expected as most people in the crowd aren't going to know the words to it. The other piece he did in full was his verse on "Look at me now". At the time it seemed maybe a little slower than it was on the recording, but it still felt like 85% there which is a feat in itself.

The guy I thought was his hype man, Spliff Star, seemed more like his co-vocalist. Again, being unfamiliar with Busta Rhymes I wasn't sure if this was the usual performance that he gives or particular to this tour. But for me, the split dynamic didn't really work for me and I find hype men generally annoying to begin with.

Near the end of his set, Busta gave a bit of a speech talking about thing he thought were worth celebrating:

1. Waking up today

2. Cause we're blessed

3. 50 Cent

4. Each other

5. Tampa

6. 25 anniversary of one of his album

7. BET lifetime achievement award

8. 50 years of hip hop

I appreciated him taking the time to talk a bit about himself as a person, which made up a bit for the short performance style. But then the hour was up.

I was left wondering whether this would be the same thing that 50 Cent was going to do. Was all of this just a cash grab? Put "the final lap" branding on to entice people, come out and do 1 min of each song, not bother releasing any new songs, and call it a day.

In the intermission, it seemed like an excessively long time that we waited for. There were some technicians that gathered on stage, then looked at the massive LED screen setup and the lights. From the audience it was hard to see exactly what the problem was. And in the absence of seeing anything big, I was left wondering whether we really needed to delay the show for it. While the screens and the lights certainly elevate the performance, I'd have been content with just hearing 50 Cent perform.

50 Cent

The show finally started around 9:20. One of the 5 LED screens lit up with the image of 50 in silhouette as the crowd went wild. There was then a Nightcrawler teleportation effect where 50 disappeared in a wisp of smoke only to reappear on another one of the screens. After he teleported between all 5, a clear plastic enclosure on stage began to fill with smoke, and after filling completed, 50 popped out of it as he began the first song.

I didn't recognize the first song, but when he next went into "What Up Gangsta", I was sold by the end of the song.

Similar to Busta Rhymes, 50 Cent was not there 100% vocally. The guy next to me had also mentioned that it seemed like sound quality at the Mid Flordia Credit Union Amphitheatre had been in a downward spiral for awhile now. So maybe that was also at work here. He certainly wasn't yelling all the lyrics, which I had seen him do in previous concert videos. Looking at a recent interview, it definitely sounds like his voice wasn't what it used to be so I'm assuming that it's some combination of age and maybe not taking care of it during those earlier shows when he was shouting for the whole set.

He played a lot from "Get Rich or Die Tryin" which I appreciated, but also weaved in some of his newer stuff. But the big surprise aside from him actually performing was the reveal of the live band that was hidden inside of the large LED screens. The screens split apart in the middle to reveal them playing the drums, keyboard, bass, and guitar.

Earlier in the night, I asked the guy next to me whether he looked up setlists before going to see shows and he said he didn't. I've done it occasionally when I've needed to leave a show early but I generally like being surprised about what's going to come next. The live band surprise that would've been ruined with the setlist saying "guitar solo".

The stage production besides the LED screens and backing band was top notch. I can see now why the technicians might have wanted to delay the show a bit in order to troubleshoot an issue. There were quite a lot of different elements from fire and fireworks, to the smoke at the beginning, and 2 or 3 different sets of confetti. I'm not sure if they were separate elements or just flame jets with some kind of motor but there were typical vertical flames as well diagonal flames.

Another element to the production was the dance team. Maybe rap videos still feature lots of scantily clad women, I feel like I haven't watched a music video like this in a while but it also felt like a bit of a throwback to that era where I just remember so much controversy about rap music and videos being public enemy number one. The dancers served a dual role in keeping the energy going on stage in between the many outfit changes that 50 went through.

The only downside to the production was that a live band meant that the songs were not exactly the same as on the album. In general, this wasn't a problem except for "In Da Club". The steel drum sample was not the same and I just could not get over it. I'm not sure if they just didn't have access to it or if it was a conscious choice to do new arrangements of all the tracks.

There was only 1 minor hiccup during the show and that was when Jeremih was supposed to play a song on piano. They wheeled out a grand piano and when he sat down to play it, it was immediately clear that it wasn't making any sound. Without missing a beat, they cued up the backing track and he proceeded to skip that segment entirely. It's clear they spared no expense on not just the physical production but the team as well for them to be able to recover so quickly from that.

During the encore, 50 started to do shorter versions of some of his songs like Wanksta and Poor Lil' Rich. At this point, this was more than fine with me since we had already gotten so much.

The show ended without 50 saying much of anything. He kept the music and show moving and any long pause would've meant having to cut some of the songs. If this really is the last time he performs live, I would've liked a little more from him in terms of thanking the fans for coming out. Though when given the option between long bits of talking and focusing on the music, I’d take the latter most days.

In retrospect, my process for buying a ticket really didn’t make sense. If I really had no confidence in 50, I might have waited until after he had performed at least one show, then looked up a setlist and a review to see if it was real or not. But I guess I had some hope still since it was an arena show as opposed to something at a nightclub.

Overall, for the 39 dollars I paid for a seat (I could have sat on the lawn for 20), the value was incredible. I watched an interview he did for Men's Health to lookup how his speaking voice sounds like now. At the end he talks about being frustrated being told "No" when asking for pyrotechnics at his show and saying he'd rather be told what it takes to get it if he wants it. This would seem to indicate that he's the driving force behind the big production on this tour. If that really is the case, then I'll give him credit for putting the pieces in motion. Ultimately it takes a whole crew to put on the show and everyone played their part in making it a successful and memorable night for me.

#50 cent

[warloving-blog]

hello @innocentmanwithabounty​!

          “Don’t look so uptight!” Buzz said, slapping his hand over Vin’s shoulder and giving him a firm shake. “Loosen up a little, have some fun! You look like somebody stole your teddy bear.”

#innocentmanwithabounty #drink's on me [greeters]; #hi hi! i wasn't sure what verse you'd like so i left it a little vague #i don't have an old west verse in mind for buzz *yet* but i can wing it if that's what you're most comfortable with c:

[megsironthrone]

Severed

Based on this request: Could I request a Soulmate AU with Jorah? Maybe one with string of fate kind of thing? And Jorah is super resistant to his soulmate at first because 1) he’s in love with Daenerys and 2)his soulmate is a little younger than he is. He insists he and the reader go to a Maester and have the bond severed but eventually he falls in love with her? Lots of angst.

Here you are! *Familiar Characters are NOT mine!*

Warnings: Soulmate AU, angst with a happy ending. POV switch

Pairings/Characters: Jorah Mormont x fem!reader

The string of fate; the bane of your very existence. It wasn't that you didn't want a soulmate. In fact, you were rather pleased with who you were tied to. Jorah was a kind man. He was better than most of the men you had met before. Had he made mistakes? Of course he had, but he had changed. So of course you had no problem with him. He was the one with the problem and it was such an issue for him, he had demanded the unthinkable.

"You can't be serious," you stated, not at all believing what you were hearing. This was almost unheard of. "I assure you I am. We-I cannot be fated to you. You're too young." You scoffed and called him out on his bull. "Don't lie to me, Jorah. I'm your soulmate. I can tell. This isn't about my age. It's about her. Daenerys who, by the way, is younger than I and who already sadly lost her soulmate. You're in love with her." You weren't yelling or crying, simply stating facts even if they did hurt you. He never gave you a chance.

Jorah's POV

Jorah nearly flinched as you called him out. You were, of course, correct. He was in love with Daenerys. At least, he thought he was. And then you appeared like an apparition out of nowhere and he suddenly wasn't so sure. Still, he was adamant that he wasn't going to be tied to someone he didn't love.

"I-If that is what you truly want, then I will not deny you. But I have one condition: We travel together to the Maesters in the Citadel. They are more versed in these matters and can sever the bond without harming either of us. I would at least like the chance to get to know you and for you to get to know me. If you have not changed your mind by the time we arrive, then I will not argue about severing the bond. Are we agreed?"

Jorah could feel your eyes on him as you waited for him to make a decision. After a moment, he found himself nodding. "Very well. We leave at first light." With a soft sigh, you gave him a solitary nod and left the room. Every step you took away from him felt like a dagger in his soul that he tried his hardest to ignore. This was for the best. He couldn't keep himself bound to you when he wouldn't love you the way you deserved. At least that's what he kept telling himself.

The next morning, Jorah was surprised to see you already waiting for him. You gave him a sad smile as you mounted your own horse. Jorah cast a glance back at the castle. He hated leaving Daenerys, but that was another reason he had to do this. He almost missed the soft scoff you let out.

"Could we get a move on? The sooner we go, the sooner you'll be free of me," you demanded and for once you actually sounded angry. You didn't speak again as the two of you set off toward the Citadel. In fact, you didn't speak at all for the entirety of your first day of travel. It actually began to worry Jorah a bit. As long as he'd known you, you'd never been one to keep quiet when you were passionate about something. It wasn't until you had stopped for the night that you spoke again, though it was only to bid Jorah a good night.

You finally began speaking fully again the next afternoon. Jorah noticed that the further away you got from Daenerys, the better your mood became. He supposed he couldn't blame you. In your eyes, Daenerys was the obstacle in the way of what fate had planned for you. He didn't want to be on the end of your anger, so Jorah listened as you chattered, not saying anything in return. And when you asked questions, he gave short answers.

"Dammit, Jorah, you aren't holding up your end of the bargain! You said we would get to know each other and yet you won't contribute beyond one or two words." You huffed a little, causing Jorah to turn to you. He was about to ask why should if you were going to act like a child, but he saw the tears forming in your eyes. He hated seeing women cry especially if he was the cause.

"I suppose you're right. I did agree to your conditions. Ask me anything and I swear, I will answer with all honesty." You didn't reply, but gave him a watery smile instead. After a few moments, you tried again and Jorah kept true to his word, answering everything with ease.

*time skip*

You giggled lightly at Jorah's joke. He didn't tell them often, preferring to stay serious most of the time, but you had told him one and he thought it was only fair to return the favor. As you laughed, Jorah watched your face. He didn't know how he hadn't noticed it before, but you were truly lovely to look at, especially when you smiled. The realization hit him like a rock.

Jorah wasn't one to deny when he was wrong and he was absolutely wrong about you. You were everything he'd ever looked for in a lover. Kind, caring, witty, charming, and unafraid to stand up for those you loved. You truly were meant for him. As the days carried on, Jorah found himself thinking about Daenerys less and less. Instead, his thoughts turned to you.

He thought about how you looked at him when you were unimpressed by something he'd said or done. He thought about how your eyes lit up when you found something exciting. Or how your lips(which he wouldn't mind kissing, if he was being honest) would spread into a smile that you tried to hide whenever you tried not to laugh. If Jorah was being honest, he would admit that fate had been right and he was falling for you, his soulmate.

"What has you so troubled?" Jorah shook himself from his thoughts at the sound of your voice. He must have looked confused because you smiled again and said, "You're making that face again. The one that you make when you're thinking too much or worrying about something." Jorah blinked in surprise. You'd noticed the various expressions on his face and what they meant?

"You don't have to tell me, of course. After tomorrow you'll-you'll be rid of me," you reminded him, your voice grower softer at the end. Jorah glanced around and realized that you were right. You would be in the Citadel the next day so the Grand Maesters could sever the soul bond between you. Was that still what he wanted?

Jorah didn't say another word for the rest of the evening as you set up camp for the night. You hated traveling at night especially as the nights grew colder. One more night of rest wouldn't hurt. It was said that the severing process could be painful and was most definitely exhausting for all parties involved. Still, even as he thought about it, Jorah said nothing. He couldn't.

When you woke the next day, Jorah was still awake. He had been unable to sleep with all the thoughts bouncing in his head, mainly the memory of the look on your face when you'd reminded him that the journey was nearly done. It was so broken, it hurt Jorah to look at.

"Shall we move on then?" you asked in a voice barely above a whisper, "The sooner we finish, the sooner you can return to Daenerys." You turned to walk away, but Jorah was faster. His hand shot out and gently grabbed yours. You glanced back at him in confusion.

"No," was all Jorah said, causing your brows to furrow even further down over your eyes. "No? I don't understand." Jorah let his blue eyes met your (e/c) ones. "I can't do it. I can't sever the bond." You shook your head in disbelief. "But that's what you wanted! Am I suppose to continue to suffer by watching you in love with another woman while my heart breaks and our bond frays and frays until it unravels completely? I-I never thought you to be a cruel man, Jorah Mormont but clearly-"

Jorah had enough and pulled you to him, cutting off your protests as your hands came to rest on his chest. "I do not wish you to suffer, Y/N. Quite the opposite. I can't sever the bond because I don't love Daenerys. Not the way I believed I did. How can I when fate has chosen the perfect woman for me? I can't sever the bond because I would be an idiot to cause such pain to my soulmate. I can't because I think I love you. And if I do not yet, I am certain it won't be long before I do. Please forgive me for my stubbornness, Y/N and answer me this: could you learn to love a stubborn fool?" Your answer was a near-bruising kiss to his lips that he happily returned.

(a/n: I know it's probably not as angst-ridden as you were hoping, but I hope you like it!)

Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard @brewsthespirit-blog @etherealpotter @line-viper @frozenhuntress67 @cd1242 @gruffle1 @smalltownbigheart @igotmadskills

#george r. r. martin #game of thrones #soulmate au #jorah mormont x reader #jorah mormont #jorah x reader

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

More arranged!verse please? I’m addicted!!

Alfred stopped some distance back and coughed slightly to announce his presence.

You'd rarely left your room for the past 48 hours or so while Bruce was on a 'business trip' that he hadn't wanted to take you on. Meals were picked at and dutifully complimented but never eaten really. When you did speak it was polite and soft spoken. Never a complaint or a demand.

The staff, he knew had taken to calling you a ghost. And he couldn't help but agree... and be thankful that they weren't more unkind. He knew that rearranging the pecking order tended to ruffle feathers.

"I can move if-"

"I only came to inquire if you would like to come inside for lunch or have it brought out here," he said simply. You had set your easel up on a rather... inconvenient part of the path but. It was fascinating to see your work progress.

He could see the influence of different artists but- it seemed to be your own surreal little world. And he wasn't sure if it was a dream of a nightmare. Perhaps you weren't either.

"I don't- what time is it?" You blink at the shadows and look around, bewildered. Like you might find the answer on the cobbles.

"Nearly one," he answered.

"Oh I- don't drag it all out here I can-"

"It's no trouble," he assured you, stepping a little closer to peer over your shoulder. "At least it doesn't need to be taken up four flights of stairs."

"I-"

"I'll bring lunch and some water- it's getting dreadfully warm."

"Thank you."

"Of course," he said bowing just slightly, hoping you'd do more than pick. And that you'd drink water if it was brought. Honestly, he scoffed to himself. If Lizzie was being paid to spy on you the least the woman could do was pay closer attention to what you would and wouldn't eat. Or at the very least how you liked your bloody coffee.

Her notes were all insipid. Every last detail of your movements but not a single useful detail. Either you were very good at covering your tracks or she was particularly stupid. And he didn't know what impressed him more. All he knew was that it was nice to be able to put some of his less... publicized talents to good use again.

#Bruce Wayne #Bruce Wayne x reader #arranged!verse 2.0 #ask answered #minors dni #reader insert

[writeforfandoms]

A resting place

Find my masterlist

Part of the larger Perhaps Love ‘verse, but can be read as a standalone. 

Jack Daniels x f!reader

A sweet, indulgent Sunday morning with Jack, full of touching and teasing and sweetness.

Warnings: Skin time. 

Word count: 1k

You woke slowly, warm and comfortable. For a moment, you wondered why you'd even woken - you were still basically ready to go right back to sleep. And then you felt it again, fingertips trailing slowly up your spine. The touch was gentle, casual, his skin warm against yours. 

"Mornin', beautiful," Jack murmured, the words low and sleep-rough. 

You grumbled something untranslatable and nestled in closer. You were sprawled half across his chest, skin to skin. 

"I need to get up, darlin'."

You whined at those words, curling up tighter against him, as if you could keep him there through sheer stubbornness. "It's Sunday," you croaked. "You don't have anywhere to be."

"I need to let Daisy out," Jack told you. His hand swept up your back again, slow and gentle. Just on time, Daisy scratched at the bedroom door with a pitiful whimper. 

You huffed. You were warm and comfortable and didn't want to move. In fact, you wanted to go back to sleep. 

But Daisy did need to go out before she made a mess. 

"Fine," you grumbled, opening one eye to roll off of Jack. You shivered, landing in a cold section of sheets. Jack got up quickly, leaning down to kiss your forehead. He grabbed a clean pair of boxers and watched in amusement as you rolled back into his warm spot. 

"I'll be back in a tic," he told you. He opened the bedroom door and slipped out, shutting it again quietly. 

And then you were alone in that big bed, cuddled into the warm spot Jack had left behind. 

You grumbled again, something unintelligible, and got comfy. The blanket was tugged up to your chin to keep you warm. As the days got shorter, the mornings got cooler. Which you didn't mind so much when you had your personal space heater with you. But when it was just you in bed… well, the blankets became necessary again. 

True to his word, Jack wasn't gone long. You heard him rustling around, heard the gentle thwump of fabric hitting the floor, felt him lift the blanket behind you. You shivered as cold air invaded your warm bubble, but you didn't even have time to complain before Jack was sliding in, pressing himself against your back from shoulders to knees. His skin once again pressed to yours, and you sighed in contentment. 

It was odd, you mused in that hazy not-quite-awake-not-quite-asleep state. You'd never felt like this with other people. Oh, sure, you were a bit of a cuddle bug, well known for hugging your friends and cuddling through movies. You'd enjoyed snuggles with previous partners. But never like this. Never even close to anything like this. All of him pressed close against all of you, with not a stitch to separate the two of you. 

It was just Jack. Just him. 

So, odd, yes, but thoroughly enjoyable. You yawned and cuddled back into his chest, your eyes already sliding closed against your will as the heat of him seeped into your skin. Your blinks were getting longer each time. You felt him press a kiss to the top of your head, whispering something you didn't quite catch but that made you smile anyway, and then your eyes closed again. 

When you woke next, you were alone in bed. Again. You rolled over, but Jack's side was cool. He'd clearly been up for a little while already, then. 

That was about when you registered the singing, off-key but it still made you smile. That was definitely Jack. 

Heaving a sigh, you rolled out of bed and visited the en suite. You very briefly considered going out naked, but. Cold wet dog nose. Nevermind. You pulled on one of Jack's tshirts instead and a pair of shorts. 

Jack's back was to you as he stood at the stove, still singing along to music from the speaker on the counter. The heavy cast iron pan sizzled gently as he added what smelled like pancake batter, and you spotted a small stack of pancakes to one side already. Daisy was sitting watching every move Jack made, just in case she got lucky. 

"Morning," you greeted, walking over to him. You'd debated just sneaking up behind him to hug him, but decided not to while he was cooking. 

"Well, look who finally rejoined the land of the living," Jack teased, half turning to grin at you, eyes warm and sparkling with mirth. "Mornin', beautiful." 

"Guess I needed the sleep." You burrowed into Jack's side, grinning in triumph when he lifted his arm to give you better access. Your arms wound around his waist, loosely keeping hold of him. 

"Have you been sleepin' poorly again, sugar?" 

"Only some nights." You huffed. "Stop worrying."

"You're not looking at me."

"I can feel you worrying, I don't need to see you." 

He huffed a little laugh at that and kissed the top of your head. "Alright," he conceded. "But it's my job to take care of you, sugar."

"I know, but clearly I'm fine. And I slept in today. No need to worry."

Jack made a noise acknowledging your point before he flipped the pancakes and changed the subject. "You hungry?"

"I could eat," you agreed. 

"Good. Thought pancakes sounded good this morning."

"They smell good." 

"Grab us plates and utensils?" 

You left the warmth of Jack's side rather reluctantly, grabbing plates and forks and knives. Then you got out the butter and the maple syrup. 

Breakfast was quiet, but the easy kind of quiet. The kind that neither of you felt the need to break, comfortable and familiar. Daisy did not get any table scraps this time, much to her disappointment. 

The morning passed with the kind of quiet contentment you didn't get to enjoy as often as you liked. Washing up after breakfast was liberally sprinkled with kisses that ranged from chaste and sweet to downright dirty and open-mouthed. But no more than that. 

And when you found yourself nodding off against Jack's chest, where you were curled up on his lap to enjoy a movie, you couldn't help but smile. 

Best way to spend a Sunday. Hands down. You closed your eyes, pressing your cheek to his bare shoulder, and drifted off to the comforting thu-thump under your ear.

--

Taglist:  @fandom-blackhole @sarahjkl82-blog @pedrocentric @beskarprincessjenny @cannedsoupsucks @liviiii98 @adriiibell @seasonschange-butpeopledont @princessxkenobi @thirddeadlysin @pbeatriz @oonajaeadira @kiizhiken-cedar @green-socks @withakindheartx @linkpk88 @janebby @anditsmywholeheart @evyiione @ohheyitsokay @amneris21 @recklessworry @the-feckless-wonder @kotemorons @myguiltypleasures21 @javierpinme @grogusmum @eri16 @idreamofboobear @pintsizemama @pedrostories @agent-jack-d @kirsteng42 @horton-hears-a-honk @alexxavicry @elegantduckturtle @soltaasbruxas @pjkimrn @jaime1110 @trash-dino-5000 @dindjarinsloverx @mswarriorbabe80 @quica-quica-quica @queridopascal @lowlights @magikfanatic

#perhaps love #jack daniels x you #jack daniels x reader #agent whiskey x you #agent whiskey x reader

[ilovedig]

Please could you elaborate on your post re: Red Rose Speedway being 90% about John? I'd love to hear your thoughts!!! :)

Oo, my first curious ask!

So obviously this is all speculation and I could be totally wrong but it seems pretty clear to me.

Also this is really long so it's under the cut so I don't clog your dash

Before the first song, I want to talk about the title. Cause if there are that many songs on the album about John, the title probably is too, right?

Speedway was a 1968 movie staring Elvis. Could the title not be about that? Sure. But it would definitely be an indication to John that the album is for him.

As for Red Rose, Urban dictionary refers to a place much like the Reeperbahn, but that could be a new slang, I don't know. There's also a motel near NYC that has been there since 1938. Probably the slang is more likely, but wouldn't that be interesting...

Anywho, here are the songs:

1. Big Barn Bed

Questionable lyrics:

Who's that coming round that corner? Who's that coming round that bend? Who's that coming round that corner? Will they, will they be my friend? (my friend)

By this point, we have a few instances of Paul calling John "my friend" and he continues to do this throughout his entire career. It could just be a line, but it could also be "Is this the day John and I reconcile"

3. Get on the Right Thing

Questionable Lyrics:

All at once, you get love on your mind And your world is as kind as a penny Oh....

Well, you knew it all along You did the right thing Believe me it's true And it can happen to you

Maybe he's talking to himself, but if he's not...in my mind there's only one other person this could be about. Especially about doing the right thing and love on the mind and all that.

4. One More Kiss

Questionable Lyric:

I said a foolish thing last night I didn't think you'd take it bad But now I'm on my way again And just before I go—

I don't care what he says, that lyrics is "I didn't think HE'D take it bad" No matter how many times I listen, it's not "you'd"

The song title was inspired by Mary asking for a kiss or something, but it seems like he used that cover to talk about something else.

The fact that he announced the breakup in the paper maybe?

5. Little Lamb Dragon Fly

Questionable Lyrics:

The entire song, but specifically

Dragonfly, fly by my window You and I still have a way to go Don't know why you hang around my door I don't live here any more Since you've gone (Since you've gone), I never know I go on (I go on), but I miss you so

I can't help but think about Forthlin and John standing outside Paul's window waiting to be let in the house quietly when Jim was sleeping.

Paul has given the excuse of it being about a lamb on the farm, which, okay, maybe that was some of the inspiration, but certainly not for this verse.

6. Single Pigeon

Questionable Lyric:

Single pigeon through the railings Did she throw you out? Sunday morning fight about Saturday night

Anytime Paul mentions Sunday Morning, you can just assume it's about John. Also....who else would he be talking about? She did something to you so it's probably a guy he's talking about.

7. When the Night

Questionable Lyric:

I never will forget the night I held you close, I held you tight Oh darling, don't you know? The way you made my senses reel I fell in love, and now I feel Like I will never go Oh little darling, don't you know?

"What about the night we cried, cause there wasn't any reason left to keep it all inside" (this is not the last time we hear about that night on this album)

"Hold Me Tight"

"Oh Darling"

"If I Fell"

9. Medley: Hold Me Tight/Lazy Dynamite/Hands of Love/Power Cut

The title of the first one is self explanatory

Lazy Dynamite:

I don't think Linda would be described as Lazy, but John certainly would. In fact I could EASILY see that being some sort of petname

Also

Won't you come out tonight, when the time is right Oh will you fight that feeling in your heart Don't you know that inside there's a love you can't hide So why do you fight that feeling in your heart?

"You Have To Hide Your Love Away"

Hands of Love:

But when I saw you last night I knew for the first time That you were the one I've been dreaming of I can't get over myself falling into the hands of love Falling into the hands of love Love sweet love

It could totally be about Linda, but also....talking about dreams is usually reserved for songs about John.

Power Cut:

There may be a power cut And the candles burn down low But something inside of me Says the bad news isn't so

Key West happened because they were diverted from a storm...could not be literal, but if it is. Plus he already talked about Key West on the album.

That's the end of the album, but here are 3 bonus tracks added in 1987 also all about John.

11. The Mess (Live in The Hague)

Every single word in this whole song but specifically

You sailed away one night in June I heard you say you would be back soon But since that day it's been one long loon Oh sweet darling, what a mess I'm in

When I want ya do I get ya All I needed your number Will you give me your number

I don't think I even need to explain this one. It feels exceptionally self-explanatory

12. Country Dreamer

I'd like to walk in a field with you Take my hat and my boots off too I'd like to lie in a field with you Would you like to do it too, May? Would you like to do it too?

Who is May? I know of one May. one May Paul has probably heard of but doesn't know. But he does know her boss (at the time that's all John was)

13. I Lie Around

So long, bye bye It was fun while it mattered Roll along, wheel of fortune As you roll along, I stick around Furthermore, in the country, I will lay my burden downn

Well, it's about someone who left, sooo not about Linda. Also everyone agrees that "Let Me Roll It" is about John so another song using the same word probably is too.

So yeah...2/13 songs are not about John and one of them is an instrumental, so maybe it is and I just can't tell because I'm bad at analyzing instrumentals.

I may have just totally overanalyzed but I can't not think of John reading a lot of those lyrics

#mclennon #paul mccartney #john lennon #red rose speedway

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 (𝐻𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑗𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑔×𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟) 𝑅𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝐾𝑖𝑚 𝐻𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑗𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑔 (𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧)/ 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 (𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒)

𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: 𝐹𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓, 𝑆𝑚𝑢𝑡

♡♡ 𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑚, 𝑓𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓𝑦 𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 @seacottons ♡♡

♡･ﾟ:*｡.:*･ﾟ♡･ﾟ:*｡.:*･ﾟ♡･ﾟ:*｡.:*･ﾟ♡･ﾟ:*｡.:*･ﾟ♡

Hongjoong tapped his pencil on the notepad impatiently, sighing for the 7th time in the minute that passed. He looked at the clock, signaling that it was almost 10:30.

Maybe I shouldn't have asked her to come. It's already late.

He had a tendency to forget that unlike him, most individuals don't like to stay up at odd hours of the night, especially not to work. But he always worked better and got inspired more during the nights. Something about the dark blue sky, crystal glittering stars and even the bustling sounds of the city awakened his senses, enticing him to start writing lyrics down, or play a few melodies on his piano. Of course, sometimes he had the usual composer's block, struggling to come up with the right music or words. Or he ended up feeling lonely and in need of comfort.

That's where Y/N came in. He'd always call her up and asked her if she wouldn't mind keeping him company, a pout always on his lips, almost like a child expecting to be refused. But she'd always be there for him, and he truly appreciated it. And tonight, he was particularly antsy about seeing her. He was getting anxious as more and more time passed and she was nowhere to be seen. Not even a text saying where she was exactly at the moment.

He was about to pick up his phone again to check up on her, when the rattling of the doorknob let him know someone was outside. He had obviously locked the door, never liking to be disturbed by anyone, so he wasn't surprised to hear the person on the other side knock. He got up and opened the door.

"Hi! I'm here!"

A dripping Y/N scurried inside the studio room, getting as close as she could to the heater that was next to the couch. Hongjoong stared in shock as a tiny wet trail was left on the carpet.

"Baby, did you walk here?" He asked, his voice full of concern.

"Well yeah....." She fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater. "I didn't know it was going to rain and the weather didn't seem too cold, but then tiny sprinkles turned to a heavy downpour.....

But I'm here now!" She said that last part more enthusiastically, trying to ease his mind a little.

But now he felt even more bad than before. She could easily have gotten sick and it would have been his fault.

"You could have just taken a cab back home love."

Y/N pouted at him.

"I know...but I wanted to see you."

His heart melted at her words. She said the same words he had been thinking all night long. Taking small steps, he threw his hoodie over his head and held it out to her.

"Here. You'll catch a cold if you stay in those wet clothes. Take them off and put this on. I'll go see if I can find some towels somewhere."

Y/N nodded and took it. She began unzipping her sweater as Hongjoong went out the door to check the supply closet at the end of the hallway. By pure luck, there was a wide array of freshly cleaned towels on the top rack. He grabbed 3 and placed them underneath his arm before closing the door and making his way back to the studio room.

"I found some towels for-"

He stopped abruptly when he saw Y/N standing there, completely naked. His eyes trailed down her body, some parts still dewy from the rain.

"What? You said to take my clothes of." She reminded him, snapping him out of his trance.

He cleared his throat.

"Well yeah.... I just assumed you'd keep your underwear on."

Y/N chuckled.

"But then your hoodie would get wet, then what would we do Einstein?"

Hongjoong smiled shyly. "I guess you have a point there."

Y/N was about to take a towel from him, but he pulled his arm away before she could reach for it.

"Allow me love."

He began patting her shoulders with the towel, getting some of the wet drops off them. Then he bunched some of her hair in the towel, squeezing any excess water out.

"Let me know if I accidentally pull too hard."

Y/N knew that wouldn't happen. He was always so careful and gentle when it came to these things. Once he was done with that, he discarded that towel and replaced it with another one.

"Jesus, did you get sucked inside a hurricane?" He teased her.

"You're so mean. I wouldn't even be in this condition if you didn't ask me to come." She retaliated.

"I know. I know love."

His hands began traveling down her torso, rubbing softly at her skin. He kept his gaze away when he swiped the towel across her breasts, making Y/N snort.

"Hongjoong, you've seen me naked at least 7 times. Stop acting so innocent."

He blushed at her words and hesitated to continue his task of drying her.

"Here, let me finish."

She took the towel away from him and finished the task he couldn't. She took the hoodie he had given her and threw it over her head, the length of it barely covering up to her mid-thighs, but it would have to do.

"You can turn around now, you drama queen." She rolled her eyes at his acting.

He turned his head and his heart fluttered as it usually did whenever she'd wear any of his clothing. It was kind of a reminder that she was his and his only, a sort of sense of ownership over her, as outrageous as it sounded. But Hongjoong would be the first to admit that he was indeed possessive over Y/N. She was just so beautiful and precious to him, he couldn't help but think that way at times.

He leaned and just pulled her into an embrace, holding her as if he hadn't seen her in years. Y/N reciprocated the action by wrapping her arms around his waist, getting the hint that he wanted to stay in that position for a while. He began caressing the back of her head, her hair still humid, but he didn't care. His other hand ran up and down her back, occasionally drawing random shapes into it.

Before he knew it, he was placing kisses on the side of her face, eventually kissing her forehead and resting his lips there. Y/N smiled fondly at that. Forehead kisses were Hongjoong's way of telling her he adored and cherished her profusely. He mentioned it to her one day when he had done that more often than any other times. Ever since then, she loved it when he did it, now knowing there was a meaning behind his actions.

Pulling back, he cupped her cheeks and squished them gently. Puckering his lips, he moved her face side to side, cooing softly at her.

"Who could not fall in love with such a cute face like this?"

She cringed at his words, but Hongjoong knew better. She did have a love-hate relationship with him babying her.

"You're such a dork." She let out a tiny yawn after she said those words.

Hongjoong pouted. "Oh love. I'm sorry for making you come out so late."

She shook her head.

"It's fine. Did you want something in particular?"

Hongjoong hummed softly, thinking about it. He wanted to hold her, that was for sure. But he also knew he wanted to try something, if she was up for it. Smirking, he brushed some hair off her face.

"Well.... I still have a few verses left to finish. What do you say if we try a little..... cockwarming?"

Y/N's ears perked up at the idea.

"Cockwarming?"

"Yes think about it love. Me nestled inside you, while you take a nap on my lap until I finish the song?" He looked to her with hopeful eyes.

She eyed him suspiciously.

"And what about when you're done?"

Hongjoong wiggled his eyebrows.

"Well, if you're not too tired, we could try something else."

Y/N giggled.

"Are you sure you'll be able to control yourself?"

Hongjoong smiled before picking her up and wrapping her legs around his waist.

"Only one way to find out love."

He set her down on his desk and began unzipping his pants. Taking his cock out, he stroked himself a few times before sitting down on his chair. Turning his attention back to Y/N, he pulled her off the desk, placing her on top of his thighs. He licked his fingers before slipping them in between her folds, wanting to make sure she was wet enough so it wouldn't hurt her in any way. He slowly slid them in and out of her, occasionally scissoring them, stretching her out. He glimpsed over at Y/N, who was biting her lip as she tried not to let out any noises.

"You worry about me, but I think it's you who won't be able to resist." He chuckled.

Y/N rolled her eyes. "We'll see."

Satisfied with his job, Hongjoong lifted her up and maintained eye contact as he slowly sank her down onto his length. They both moaned at the warm feeling, it had been so long since they were like this. Y/N let her legs dangle and she rested her face on his shoulder. Hongjoong wrapped his arms around her.

"Take a rest. I'll be done soon enough"

Y/N mumbled something incoherently, already dozing off thanks to Hongjoong's warmth and his scent that she loved inhaling. Muttering a small 'cute', he went back to work.

The words were now flowing even smoother than before. He always did say he worked a lot better if Y/N was around. The others would always think he was just being delusional, but he disagreed. Her presence just makes him more calm, serene and helps him focus. He'd often joke about her being his muse, but even she would often roll her eyes at his statement.

He didn't know how much time had passed, all he could hear was the sound of his pencil scribbling on the paper and Y/N's faint breathing on his neck. Once in a while, he'd give her thigh a gentle squeeze or kiss her arm that was wrapped around his other shoulder, where her head wasn't. He had completely forgotten he was even inside her.

He was only reminded of it when he looked at the time that was marking that it was almost midnight. He debated whether to wake her up and take her home, or rearrange the couch so it could become a bed. Eden was the one who suggested keeping a sofa that could turn into a bed, and even kept a couple pillows and blankets in the studio since Hongjoong practically lived there at times.

But then again, she looked so comfortable and peaceful, and it wouldn't be the first time he slept in the chair. Turning off the light, he began closing his eyes, wanting to drift off to sleep as well.

But then Y/N shifted in her sleep, causing Hongjoong to jolt up and hold her hips, thinking she was going to fall. She groaned softly and shifted even more, causing his cock to twitch.

Oh my God.

He thought he was doing so well, and he could cool himself down, but the feeling was too good. Without thinking about it, he began to gently roll his hips up against hers, ever so slightly so as to not wake her up. At least that was the plan.

He smiled mischievously though when he heard her moan against his ear. He could feel her growing wetter, making it easier for him to slip in and out of her.

"Fuck." He whispered to himself.

He was getting even more turned on by the fact he was practically fucking his girlfriend while she was asleep. He shouldn't get aroused by that fact, but he was. And to know that even in her sleep she was moaning boosted his ego.

Y/N fluttered her eyes open, whimpering slightly at being woken up with an intense need. She lifted her face and was met with Hongjoong's face, his eyes full of lust and desire as he continued rolling his hips against hers.

"I'm sorry baby. It was just too tempting."

He apologized, but she knew he wasn't the least bit sorry. And she wasn't mad either way. It was definitely one of the best ways to wake up. She placed her hands on his shoulders, to steady herself as she began grinding down on him, not wanting him to have his fun only. Hongjoong hissed at the change of pace, loving the way she looked: in his hoodie, on top of him and desperate to get some release.

Hongjoong's hands went to her waist, pressing her closer to him as he kissed her passionately, his tongue slipping inside hers. His hands wandered inside the hoodie, cupping her breasts and playing with her nipples, causing her to shudder and tighten around his cock.

Hongjoong pulled back, gasping for air.

"Fuck baby. If- if you keep doing that, I w-won't be able to last much longer." He told her, trying to hold back as much as he could.

Y/N chuckled and challenged him.

"Then make me cum."

Oh. Those 4 words always set Hongjoong off. One of his hands went down between her legs, his thumb playing around with her clit. His lips attached themselves to her neck as he sucked and nibbled on all her sensitive places, having memorized all of them. All of that, plus the way his strokes got even deeper and faster had Y/N whimpering and panting above him. Hongjoong pulled back only to tease her:

"What? You asked me to make you cum and that's what you're going to get love."

His free hand wrapped around her neck, squeezing it enough to make her dizzy, but not harshly. He growled in her ear:

"Now do it baby. Cum all over my cock. I want to feel you come undone before I fill up your pretty little pussy with my cum."

She threw her head back as she clenched around him, his words being the final straw for her to break and release all over him with a soft cry of his name. She hid her face on his neck, gripping him tightly as he helped her ride out her orgasm. Her walls clenching and squeezing him tightly had him coming undone seconds after her. She felt his hot cum coat her walls, his voice muttering curses as his movements stilled, trying to catch his breath.

After a minute, Hongjoong looked back at her.

"Baby? You good?"

She nodded. "Tired."

"I know love. Hold on."

Getting up, still inside her, he walked over to the couch and set her down. He began to miss her warmth as soon as he pulled out of her. Grabbing one of the previously acquired towels, he wiped her inner thighs where some of his cum had dripped out.

Y/N was pretty much half asleep by now. So Hongjoong tried to move her as little as possible as he adjusted the couch to turn it into a bed. Grabbing one of the blankets from under his desk, he covered Y/N with it and layed down next to her, pulling her against his chest.

He stared at her sleeping figure for a while, admiring her features and smiling to himself. His finger traced her lips slowly before he pecked them with tenderness.

"I love you Y/N."

He wasn't expecting her to answer, but she surprised him when she unconsciously nestled herself closer to him and mumbled 'I love you' back to him, causing him to giggle at her cuteness.

She truly was such a precious being.

♡･ﾟ:*｡.:*･ﾟ♡･ﾟ:*｡.:*･ﾟ♡･ﾟ:*｡.:*･ﾟ♡･ﾟ:*｡.:*･ﾟ♡

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