#hi. i'm being insane about transformers again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

travelersspark · 8 months

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IM BACK! 🌟

Literally when on break since I've been busy with college and work😅. Now I can get back into the swing of things ! Since I'm here , might as well make a new headcanons post ~♡

𝑷𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝑻𝑳𝑲 .ᐟ 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝑮𝑵.ᐟ𝑯𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

𝑶𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒖𝒔

First off. Cayde had a meeting with you at your local job. You and Cayde were close since he practically raised you along with Tessa . You were running late and Cayde was inside Optimus. Optimus had heard about you but never thought much about it.

He'd ask about you to Cayde and Cayde talked fondly of you so Optimus could sort of trust you. So could Cayde. Hence why he was gonna finally explain to you whats been going on for the past year.

Of course you are insanely confused when you get in the truck and Cayde starts being cryptic saying. “ Y/N. You know you can trust me right ? I would always tell you if somethings up.. ” -Cayde

You are dumbfounded at first while the silent drive fills the cabin with awkwardness. Then it hit you. “ Have you been looking for girls on tinder Cayde?! God I swear - ” - Y/N.

Facepalm from Cayde. Optimus almost laughed in his alt form but Cayde coughs before having to disprove your idiotic suspicion. He basically rushes an explanation of the autobots and decepticons and everything that has happened for the past year since you haven't really seen him.

Annnnnnnnndddd. Your not buying it. After the drive he tries explaining more but you brush it off basically just tired from work and chalking up his excuses to him being tired and or drunk.

Well.. until you see a group of vehicles strolling around and stopping with their headlights nearly blinding you (Kind of like the introduction the team from TF1) and with some loud noises and rumbling. You see them. Giant robots standing among you.

You Fucking FREAK. Definitely bout to be ready to throw some shit. Like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK CAYDE ! Cayde has to mostly calm you down as well as Optimus surprisingly trying as well explaining that they would never hurt you.

After a couple of minutes of losing your shit. Optimus introduced himself explain his motives and his following. Your still apprehensive but sort of star struck. Ootimus's voice and tone was totally different than his remorseful and sort of stern tone. It even surprised Cayde.

Optimus certainly finds you intriguing due to the stories Cayde told him Since you now know of thier existence they have to basically become your body guards in a sense. You don't mind it but you still have your worries. Mostly about the part with the decepticons.

He reassures that he would do anything to try and keep you and the other humans safe.

A couple of banter from the crew but with one Stern glance of Optimus they shut it.

You two might have a quite interesting partnership - in a good way.

𝑩𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒆𝒆

oh. This mute bot is EXCITED to meet you ! He was the first one to transform and show himself to you after optimus.

Kind of flustered and worried when you lost your cool about seeing them. But after he calms his excitement and lets his leader explain himself.

He flashes his sick moves which makes you smile and laugh a bit. He gladly would do it again to make you smile.

Bee is one of the first bots you considerably found yourself talking to.

When you found out he couldn't speak like the others and communicated through a radio, you though he was quite a special bot.

He's like you in a way. You to pair together so well. Bee thinks of you like his old partner Sam.

Oh. He can get protective of you. Mainly when Crosshairs or Hot Rod get a bit flirtatious or silly around you.

Casually offers a drive after a few hours of meeting which you don't really refuse. You had to admit. He was a dream ride of yours.

Its love at first sight in his eyes. He already finds himself crushing on you from day one. And he hopes that you stick around with him.

𝑪𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒔

God another Squishy thing?! Let's just say he wasn't amused.

Well until you basically cursed the hell out of Cayde. Now he's impressed

Now he's made it his mission to figure out what makes you tic.

Weirdly he can he either considerate or just a complete jerk. But a loveable one at that.

He finds himself always trying to be flirtatious with you. But when you do it back he gets completely flustered and curses you out (his love language according to drift)

Fights about the miniscule things with you. Like if you eat in his alt form and there's a crumb he's gonna scold you.

Never saw himself being friends with a human but he would definitely enjoy his company with you.

First meeting him he is pretty serious about not wanting you around a bit but it shifts to wanting to hang with you more.

You two are FUCKIN GREMLINS TOGETHER. yall annoy the hell out of optimus and cade at times. God you two are a mess

Starts out as not being protective of you to being ULTRA protective. Mans always worried about you but tries to play it off.

𝑯𝒐𝒕 𝑹𝒐𝒅

Omg him and Bumblebee fell HARD for you when Cade introduced you to the crew. Literally he couldn't stop gawking at you.

Already trying to one up everyone else with his flirtatious and suave energy.

Placed a bet with bee to see if you'd like him more.

First to offer you rides from work, school or whatever. (He figured you showing up in his alt form would make you popular or cool. And he wasn't wrong either.)

Immediately asks Optimus to assign him as your guardian. Let me tell you, he is smitten by you and in the best way possible.

Says small pet names in french

Arrogant little bastard. Can't take any hints when you need space.

Overall hes just wanting time with you but doesn't exactly understand the idea of patience is a virtue.

𝑯𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅

Another human huh. Cool, hope they useful type energy.

Hes pretty chill about it to be honest. Definitely hesitant at the idea but understand where Cade is coming from.

Would personally introduce himself to you if you find him a bit intimidated. Secretly he's a big softie and jokes terrible behind closed doors.

Once he finds out you are just as handy as Cade is hes all over you. Don't expect him.to leave you alone with random weapon scraps and ideas he has in his head.

Probably would take you out to test some grenades with him or something.

Pretty protective on first meet. Mostly since he knows he can keep you safe with his experience and skills in war.

If you don't like the sight of anything remotely similar to cigars and smoke. He would actually stop puffing his bullet in front of you out of respect.

Doesn't care much about your habits as long as you don't get your ass in trouble that is.

Not the type to drive you around since he's a big ass military vehicle and that would definitely cause alot of suspicions.

𝑫𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒕

Not bothered but skeptical of your arrival. Let's just say he isn't too fond of the idea of another human around

Probably would discuss his concerns to cade and optimus about the risks but would be told that it was mostly for the best.

He gives up and pretends you just another one of the bots.

Pretty distant at first since he's still weary of you.

But if you compliment him during training of something and use the right terminology of the kata forms and martial arts he will definitely open up to you.

He appreciates someone who can understand his dedication. As well as someone educated in the sacred arts of Japanese and Chinese traditions.

Offers meditation lessons after some time if you are willing to do so.

Silent but deadly type of protective.

Has fought with crosshairs one time.when he was picking on you.

Very tsundere at first but overall he knows you are a good person and wouldn't mind getting to learn more about you

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eveninggstar · 5 months

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Can I request a johnnie fic where he’s streaming and she’s also there and reacts to stuff with him

I feel like this request sucks but ily bye

TikTok reaction

Summary: you and your boyfriend, Johnnie, watch some random guys tiktok page for a video

Warnings: fluff, play arguing, Johnnie joking about having a foot fetish, no use of y/n, pre-established relationship, readers looks not specified, reader intended to be female (doesn’t have to be tho)

A/N: heyyyyy, sorry i’ve been gone for under a month. happy new year(it’s the 18th almost 19th) love everyone for liking, reposting or commenting love you all, and the silent readers 💕💕💕

ty anonymous for the cute request, more Jake and Johnnie to come love you guys, sorry it’s short <3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Johnnies voice echoed through the walls as he introduced the video. His voice was comforting to you as he joked about having a good day. Johnnie had invited you over to react to a tiktok guy for a youtube video, you agreed happy to spend time with him. Even if it meant you were watching weirdos on the internet.

"Alright, we're going in." He put on his headphones, but paused halfway. Your named echoed through the house as he yelled for you. As you walked into frame you acted like an adorned celebrity, giving the odd 'Thank you, thank you. No, no autographs.' Johnnies Timmy-esque "Yay!" would only suggest that in post there would be a ground applauding, hopefully or it would've been incredibly awkward.

When you sat down, Johnnie grabbed your face, "Once we start watching these we will never be the same again." He forced your head to nod as his striking blue eyes practically stared into your soul.

Johnnie started to explain the trend that the tiktoker you were watching was about to do, "When you're wearing clothes that are not flattering and you do a face like-" he pulled an ugly face, still looking hilariously cute, "-and you go ahhhh! The you do a transformation like-" he posed in several ways, the camera zooming in on your cringed out face as you looked at him (jokingly).

The camera went back to him with his arms held up in an awkward position, "i'm sexy." Then it cut back to your face looking as if you were scared of your boyfriend sitting beside you.

"The people will be like," Johnnie began stuttering.

"eh, wu, ah," you mocked putting your face closer to his, smiling when he turned to you.

"Why won't you let me live?" He replied in his Timmy voice, the. the two of you burst out laughing away from one another.

As he continued to explain the trend of being unconventionally attractive then to attractive, you could help yourself to offhandedly say, "When's that going to happen to you?"

"Eh-" Johnnie paused, "Shut up!" he jokingly yelled with a smile.

As you and Johnnie watched the guys tiktok's, you could feel your sanity slowly decreasing. Especially when there was the foot phone stand video...

"Johnnie, what the fuck!" You yelled as the video continued, the guy rubbing a woman's foot whilst in the phone.

"It's a good idea!" He defended.

"No it's not." you slapped his arm.

"Let's test it." He put a finger up, as if he had an idea. This earned a grossed out look, causing Johnnie to make a slurping sound with his mouth.

"You are actually insane."

446 words

#johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert x reader #johnnie guilbert x you #johnnie guilbert x y/n

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ineffably-human · 11 months

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Nandor's better to Guillermo than I remember from my initial watch. It's still regressive (and it was starting to head that way in 4x10 too, so maybe this just continues from there), he still has times he's thoughtless and dismissive. But he's the one advocating the others listen, and that they do nice things for Guillermo. He's noticed something is wrong just like Laszlo, he just comes to a different conclusion. He listens to an offhand remark from Guillermo that wasn't even directed at him, just to get him a present.

Any shittiness he's engaging in comes from the very idea of Guillermo being a vampire. (The way Nandor brings that up to the others almost feels like he's been floating the idea in his head, which is a whole other thing; I'll see if I'm right with more episodes I guess and we'll take it at face value for now.) And aside from not wanting that to happen because it would change things, maybe lead to Guillermo leaving, etc it's laughable to him right now for the same reasons it would have been laughable to him in season 1 or 2. Guillermo is a little more assertive than in those years, but he's completely returned to the familiar role. He's reacting to Nandor with fear, more than he did even then.

Guillermo's big attitude change came with being a slayer, and now he seems to have forgotten that completely to the point that he doesn't even consider it as one of the reasons the transformation hasn't worked. He wasn't ready, he was in pain, this isn't how he imagined it (insert @cookinguptales's excellent meta on how it's all a big metaphor for virginity loss). And right now he doesn't know what his body is doing, and he's walking around consumed with guilt and imposter syndrome. Becoming a vampire is making him forget other real, important parts of who he is.

I think it's very easy for the vampires to regress - because of time, stagnation, etc - to an earlier point. Guillermo's regression is just as rapid-fire but it's from trauma. His intense desire to not want to talk about it, to wait over two weeks before the camera crew wears him down enough. To try and describe the turning as sexier and more intense and life-changing than it was, only to be jump-scared by Nandor and reminded that what he did was a (fully justified) betrayal. Has he forgotten that if Nandor really did want to kill him, Guillermo's kicked his ass without his now-perfect vision, and has killed dozens of vampires at a time? Or is the thought of hurting Nandor and fracturing that relationship the thing that hurts far worse here?

I'm a little insane about how, while in the process of going behind Nandor's back, while he's right about to get the thing he's ostensibly attached to Nandor for, he's insisting that Nandor will eventually do right by him and really truly cares about him. So much that Derek again asks Guillermo if he's sure about this.

Even more than the love search stuff Nandor dealt with over two seasons, all of this seems tailor-made to address the big unspoken questions of their relationship. What does Guillermo hope to gain as a vampire? How much of that involves his feelings for Nandor? What matters most to Nandor when it's Guillermo vs his own pride, especially if there were a real threat of losing him? Can they actually find their way to eternity together, and what does that look like when they do?

Which is to say, it's absolutely happening this season. And shit's going to get insane on the way.

#i haven't even started on the hypnosis runner and how the theme of this season is absolutely secrecy #that's a whole other (much better) essay #this is just me vomiting some thoughts out #fandom: wwdits #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #nandermo #otp: nandermo #i am a meta gremlin

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yelshin · 1 year

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NEW KITTEN?! | MLIST | ♡

An: Rethinking my life decisions rn

Tw/Cw: Scarameow being insecure

It was a normal day for you and Kuni well not really after he heard a shocking news.

You're gonna adopt another kitten. He was sad because he thinks that you might replace him soon.

If it wasn't for your friends stupid idea you wouldn't have to feel bad be guilty while looking at the sight of your kitten sulking at the corner. 'if i need to take a punishment for hurting his feelings ill gladly take it because i deserve it.' you thought while eyeing his movements.

He rolls on the ground and hit the wall. You immediately stand up and start rubbing circles at his head while he keeps sulking; still thinking about the new kitten that you're gonna adopt "god are you okay? Do you want food? Toys? Anything to cheer you up?" You bombarded Kuni who still didn't answer you nor look at you. But your heart wasn't prepared for what will he pull.

Kuni look at you with those big eyes with his pupil becoming big as if he was begging you to not do something 'OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DIE' You eternally screamed. Trying to avoid his tempting pleading eyes "I swear you're gonna be the death of me..." You grumble, picking him up and grabbed your (empty) wallet.

"I'm sorry but pets are not allowed-" "Do i look like i CARE?" You glared at the guard who's trying to stop you from bringing Kuni inside the mall "but ma'am im just following the rules-" he keeps on insisting and then you decided to gave up... Well actually the opposite of that. "Fine then." You walked away from the mall and hid beside the building.

"if they don't allow pets, then how about this huh.." you smirked at your silly idea; putting him inside a plastic bag and put some unnecessary light weight items inside and pretend its full of your groceries. "God why am i so smart"

You walked at the building again but this time the guard doesn't care about people entering in the mall 'WOW LATELY HE'S MAKING A SCENE ABOUT BRINGING MY ANGEL IN AND NOW HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK IF SOME PEOPLE ENTER WITH THEIR PETS' you glared at the guard before entering the mall; ready to spend everything

"now then for the new kitten, maybe a same treatment with Kuni will do" hearing the word "new kitten" Kuni's head pop out of the plastic bag while looking at you, but you didn't seem to notice the poor kitten.

Now here you are, standing Infront of the ATM; staring at your bank accounts amount of money. Seeing a low number made you laugh at yourself nervously "haha... Did i spend too much? hahaha..." You scratch your cheek while looking around if thr coast is clear enough for you to pull your black card

'just once...' you thought but you knew that "just once" will turn into amounts of spending. Clearly not just once. "Let's just pray this shit still have money inside after what i did last month"

You checked the plastic bag thinking that Kuni was still inside,but to your horror he wasn't there. You immediately panicked and search the whole bag but still no sight of Kuni 'How am i gonna find him with this big ass mall...' you went for 10 minutes breakdown beside the ATM before gathering all of your energy and find your small kitten while praying that no one will adopt him.

Meanwhile your Kuni...

A young man with indigo hair that covers his ears, as well as indigo eyes look around the mall trying to find a glimpse of teal hair but he didn't noticed someone bump to him.

While you are busy finding your kitten you suddenly bump into someone; you apologize and the man who you bumped with reminds you of you Kuni but you quickly shook off the thoughts and apologize again "im sorry!" Before running away.

Scaramouche froze in his spot... Not only you didn't recognize him nor know about his secret (that he can turn into a human) you didn't recognize him. He muttered something before going to a empty place; transforming back into a kitten once again, on his way to find you.

You were going insane. You searched every corner, every store and even asked every person in the mall if they found your kitten. You were close to give up but not until you felt a soft fur rubbish on your feet, you looked down and almost screamed when your beloved kitten finally appeared "Thank goddess! I thought you got kidnapped!(kittennap)" You hugged your cat; promising yourself not to let him go. "Now lets head home, i heard the new kitten is already in our house!" You exclaimed and run out of the mall.

Opening the door of your house, you gently dropped kuni to the ground and immediately search for the new kitten. While you're busy roaming around your house Kuni was staring at something under the couch. He hiss at whoever or whatever creature is there hiding under the couch. Kuni stared at the glowing yellow eyes of the new kitten while displaying his sharp nails as a sign of threat.

"ah! There you are!"

An: if y'all guessed whos the new kitten i would continue this fic🤭

@thetwinkims @sunsethw4 @etherisy @kunikuzushicandegrademefr @Heiijoxz, @eliciana @naritecs @kkazuyass @itztaki @makilovescofi @louise-rosita-leroux @w9vyy @lystaaa @midoriapologist @lilithticalx @red-chester @yushiu @raideneiari @scaraapologist @kxr0mi @sakiimeo @shizunxie @yanfeimainn @just-simping-over-genshin @thenightsflower @eunchaeluvr @ohmyfinggod @misomiis @spookyqueenduck @chalksdreams

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writeyouin · 1 year

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I had an idea for the new transformers movie, and like

Imagine being taken by Mirage with Noah, maybe they'd agreed to help him with the job, maybe they had experience, or some other reason, not the point

But as soon as they're both out the car, and Mirage is transformed, what do they do?

While Noah is waving around with a pipe, they're just staring at Mirage

When he finally turns his attention to them it's just

Mirage: Hey! Ya ain't screaming, ain't that nice? Hey man why can't you be more like them?

Y/N, in an obviously flirty tone: Hey~

Mirage: Oh! Oh it's like that ;) why hello you awfully adorable alien

Noah: What- what are you doing?

Y/N: Shut up I'm trying to get a man

Mirage X Reader – Flirtatious Meeting Part 1 of 2

A/N - I should technically be getting to other, older requests, but hey, when inspiration bites you in the ass, you don't question it. So, thanks for this great request, it was a lot of fun. I'm obsessed with Mirage now.

Warnings - None.

Rating - T

You gasped as you were thrown from the Porsche that you had accidentally stolen with Noah. Honestly, you weren’t sure how you had gotten into the situation with him, only that you were trying to stop him from making a stupid mistake, and instead you had gotten taken on a joy-ride by a self-driving car.

At this point you were pretty sure the vehicle belonged to some kind of insane billionaire who had driven it via remote control and that you and Noah were going to some secret, privately owned prison wherein the billionaire in question would have the last laugh.

“Oh my God,” You panted, rolling onto your side.

Behind you, you heard a whoop of delight, followed by a comment about how fun that joyride was. You pushed yourself up, ready to yell at whatever jerk had hijacked the car that you had admittedly been part of hijacking yourself.

“(Y/N),” Noah stuttered your name as he tapped your shoulder trying to get you to turn around.

From your peripheral you saw him bend down to pick up a busted pipe and you spun quickly to face your assailant, gasping again when you saw a giant robot.

You could have described him by his height, or his demeanour, or by the fact that you had no idea where he had come from, or who, if anyone had built him, but instead all you could think was that he was… kind of cute. No. That wasn’t it. He was straight up hot, and he seemed to have a sense of humour, which complimented his arrogant nature well.

“Noah,” You hissed. “Put down the pipe.”

“Yeah, Noah,” Mirage mocked, having revealed his own name in his self-serving speech. “Put down the pipe.”

When Noah refused, Mirage’s hand transformed into a cannon of some sort, pointing straight at Noah.

You didn’t dare speak in case things got any worse, but as it happened, Mirage was just toying with Noah, testing his bravery.

“Hmm, tough guy. I like that. I like it a lot.” Mirage mocked playfully, before turning his gaze on you. “And what about you? I mean, you ain’t screaming, that makes a nice change from the movies.”

Mirage looked back to Noah, “You see that man? Your friend ain’t taking a swing at me. You could learn a thing or two from them, so, what’s your deal cutie?”

You didn’t say much past a bright smile and a small flick of your fingers in a half wave, “Hey~”

“Oh! Oh, it’s like that, yeah,” Mirage winked at you. “Well, you ain’t so bad yourself, even if you are an alien.”

“Wait!” Noah demanded, holding out his hands to stop whatever weird flirtation was going on. “You’re an alien?”

“Well, I mean, to me, you’re the aliens,” Mirage countered.

“This is our planet. That makes you the alien.”

You slapped Noah’s arm, “Be nice.”

“Be nice? We just got kidnapped, and you want me to be nice?”

“Hey, we stole him, remember?”

“And he stole us right back! What are you doing anyway?”

You smiled awkwardly at Mirage, “Hey, can you give up a second, please?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Mirage nodded casually, then began whistling, looking away to pretend that he couldn’t hear you.

You grabbed Noah’s shirt and pulled him close to you, “Look man, I was just trying to stop you from making the worst mistake of your life tonight. The least you can do is let me have this, okay?”

“Let you have what?” Noah asked desperately.

“Hey, that alien up there is cute, funny, and I don’t have to ask if he has a vehicle, because he is one. Do you know how many men there are like that? None. So, you can freak out all you want, but I’m trying to score myself a date, okay?”

Noah didn’t get a chance to respond as Mirage interrupted your not-so-secret conversation, “Hey not to bother you but the big guy’s coming now, so you might wanna chill and you know, not threaten him with a pipe or he might squish ya.”

“I’m sorry, someone’s going to squish us?!” Noah demanded incredulously.

“You, maybe, your friend though, (Y/N) was it?”

You nodded, smiling brightly.

“Yeah, (Y/N) not-so-much. See, (Y/N) seems more chill than you Noah, oh and if all goes well, I know a little drive-in cinema we can visit.”

“We’re not going to a drive-in,” Noah deadpanned.

“Ew, no of course not bro. I meant me and (Y/N) there. You’re not gonna be third-wheeling.”

“Consider it a date,” You grinned.

Mirage nodded along happily, and then you, he and Noah were faced with the other Autobots currently residing on Earth.

#transformers #mirage #mirage x reader #noah diaz #transformers rise of the beasts #maccadam #tf #fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert #reader #mirage x you #flirtatious meeting

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cybertroniannugget · 7 months

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What if… Sam had a sibling who is very chaotic!!!! And they survive through out the Bayverse movies and when they meet Hound, Crosshairs and Drift, how would those 3 react to the crazy lil human?!? ;-;

(Could you possibly add Optimus Prime and Bumblebee!?)

Okay this is the first ever request I answer, kinda nervous tbh.

Hope you like it, and thanks for requesting^^

It's called Haiku...

Also, I don't know what pictures to add lmao

About this fic: sfw, gn reader, takes place in aoe

901 words

Sitting in the passenger's seat, squished next to Shane, you look out the window.

Sure, it was uncomfortable, but there were only 3 seats for the 4 of you.

You didn't say anything though, after they had just lost their friend, complaining would be of no use.

So you watch the wide desert landscape going by.

A white truck drove by on the other side of the road, but you didn't pay that much attention to it.

That's when the truck you four were in started rumbling. At first you didn't know what was going on, but when the seats shifted back roughly, the worn down leather replaced by more comfortable fabric seats you kind of got an idea.

"A man of taste I see. Western Stars are pretty nice.", you complimented, after seeing the symbol on the steering wheel, before the autobot logo took its place.

You opened the window to take a look at the Prime's new altmode.

Red flames across the blue paintjob, and everything was just so shiny.

"I must say, you looking good Prime!", you laugh, sticking your head back in.

"It was awesome but it was insane!", you heard Shane yell out excitedly.

The Prime's deep voice echoed over the radio, calling for his Autobots.

"I wonder If I'll see Bumblebee again. I missed that guy."

"Bumblebee?", Cade asked.

"Yeah, he's an Autobot don't worry. He's no giant insect, if that's what you thought about."

The man just raised an eyebrow at you, making Tessa chuckle in amusement.

After a few more minutes of driving you all got out of the truck, after Optimus opened the doors for you.

"Your dad is nice, but he needs to relax a lil...", you whisper to Tessa.

"He sure does, but he's trying his best."

"Never doubted that, don't worry.", you add, nudging her arm gently.

Optimus transformed, being greeted by his bots.

"Mr. free leader of the galaxy. I knew you'd make it. I never doubted it."

"Just who are these guys...", you mumble, looking around.

The green one with what looks like a cape suddenly turned to point his guns at you.

"Oh okay, that one feels like killin today...", you say, raising you arms sarcastically.

When the biggest one started lifting his guns was when you started sweating though.

But having fate on your side, like always, Optimus stopped them.

"Thanks Prime, I thought I was done for this time."

"🎶...Survivor! 🎶", Bee's Radio echoed.

"What's he mean by that now?", Hound asked, adjusting his cigar.

"We go way back. I saw Megatron so many times already. He nearly killed me twice but meh, still alive and kicking"

"Wait, aren't you that human from the fight in-?", Drift turned to ask.

"Chicago? Yeah, I've been there. Threw a brick at Megs myself.", you interrupted, proud of your past actions, arms crossed before your chest. "I've been there since the beginning. When it was just about a pair of glasses from my crazy great grandfather."

"They have fought with us. They're the only human I know I can trust."

"Rude...", Shane mumbled under his breath.

"I mean, how'd a squishy survive all that?!", Hound asked into the round of Cybertronians and humans

"Who you callin squishy?! I'm not the big one here."

"Pff, that's just armor. I'm as fast as a horse!"

"Well first of, it's as healthy as a horse. And also, it's none of your damn business how I survived all the shit I've been through. Because honestly, I don't even know myself. Maybe I'm just lucky"

You shrug, looking up at Optimus, who's serious demeanor made your heart sink.

He's always been serious yes, but a kind soul. Always open for questions.

Now he's just, well... dark.

"Well, but I'm sure as hell gonna survive this, so when we startin?!"

"Enthusiasm, I like it.", Crosshairs mentioned, spinning a gun in his servo, before tucking in back into his belt.

"🎶Where have youuuu been?!🎶", Bumblebee sang over the radio.

"Oooh, Rihanna, you got some mad taste Bee!"

Sticking your hands into the pockets of your worn down jeans, you look up at the yellow and black bot, who's optics were fixed on you.

"Well, after Chicago I needed a new place to stay. So I applied to work in a different hospital. And it led me to Austin, Texas."

You laugh

"In the good ol' south", you say, mocking the southern accent.

"I think I like that one", Hound says, leaning back against a rock wall.

"They have what it takes, like sunset colors on blue,

strength guts and virtue.", Drift added.

"If this is another hiku I swear Imma blow you to shreds...", Crosshairs murmured, turning to walk away.

"It's called Haiku!", you correct him.

"What?", he mumbled annoyed.

"I don't care what it's called. I just want to leave this place."

"Well, I like it, thank you.", you say to Drift, smiling at the bot.

In this moment of peace, it was of course Crosshairs who needed to add something unnecessary.

"Nah, it's lame"

Without warning, Drift jumped at him, swords drawn, ready to attack.

"And I thought I was crazy...", you whisper to Bee, rolling your eyes.

The bot snickered.

"Lord may you give me strength to not make anyone here short circuit on purpose..."

You squint your eyes, thinking.

"I don't even know their names yet... Wow"

"🎶Still don't know your name🎶"

"Oh you're right tho Bee.", you laugh

#transformers x reader #request #bayverse drift #bayverse crosshairs #bumblebee #optimus prime #Bayverse Hound

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aphroditesmoon · 2 years

Text

as strange as it seems

xavier thorpe x selkie!reader

summary: when your pelt was stolen from you as a joke during carnival night, xavier comes just in time to rescue you.

a/n: xavier warriors, I hear your call, I respond. anyways this is pretty much stupid and insane bcs I absolutely love selkies (they are basically seals that can turn into humans using their pelt) you can google if ur confused.

°°°

There was nothing funny about this. You place your pelt by your side and the next thing you knew, it wasn't there.

A pelt is something very personal to a selkie, and everyone knew that, this went beyond a mere prank.

Now here you were transforming into a fucking seal in the woods alone because, of course there's no body of water near you to dive in.

This is fucking stupid, I have leaves stuck on me, I'm going to throw up, you gagged, which came out as a loud squeaking yelp.

Your angry internal seal monologue was interrupted as you hear loud footsteps running towards the woods.

You stay behind the tree as Rowan enters with Wednesday Addams following him.

It was bizarre what was going on, one moment she was trying to speak to him, and the next, he had her pinned on the tree.

You squeaked in fear, causing him to drop her, suprised. Their eyes glance at you behind the tree for a second before a largely built monster lunges at Rowan and devoured him.

Wednesday's movements only froze for seconds before she sped her way out, leaving you squeaking for help.

The monster's gigantic disgusting eyes stared right into your little sea-lion soul.

Hopping out of the woods was inefficient but also your only choice, so you hopped like a giant bunny as the monster attacks you from behind, grabbing you in one hand and ready to squish you into pieces as your eyes widen and you squeal for your life.

Your panic was halted as a small arrow shoots through his head, it wasn't strong enough to kill him, but enough for him to drop you.

"Stay away from her!" A voice you know too well, shouted from your right.

A wolf lunges at the monster, pushing him back, before a few more of them joins in the bloodbath.

You yelped as you feel hands pull you up to their chest, Xavier grips you to him as he runs out towards the fair, where Wednesday and Enid stands alongside Weems who was already phoning the police. Too much of this evidence can't be removed nor be denied.

She rushes Xavier to go back to the school and he obeys immediately with the other students.

You see him with your pelt slung on his shoulder before he rushes you two back.

The car ride was worse than almost being killed. The way he kept glancing at you, biting his lip from laughing, and immediately failing when you squeaked at him angrily.

"Im- sorry, it's just, I- I mean look at you -"

You squeaked again and slap his hand that tried to squish your slimy face.

Your boyfriend has a way of making you melt and also wanting to shove his face in a bucket of acid.

But god you'd miss that face if it was ever ruined.

He insisted on you transforming when you've reached your dorm so he can carry you up and indulge watching you in your seal form whole repeating terrible seal pickup lines and receiving slaps on his face that he takes too easily for your liking.

When you finally get the opportunity to be back in your human skin and clean yourself from the dirt, you feel relief washing over you, despite your boyfriend's attempt to make you laugh, you were still in a state of shock.

Xavier's own fear was not subtle either, as much as he tries to hide it, and his insistence on sleeping in your dorm that night was only another confirmation.

You swore you'd see nightmares of the monster in your sleep that night, but wrapped in his arms and feeling him press a kiss on your forehead, you woke up the next day with nothing but him on your mind.

#wednesday netflix #xavier thorpe x you #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe fanfic #xavier thorpe #wednesdays addams

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pumpkin-padparadscha · 7 months

Text

What if I just read "The Art of Losing" by @wafflelate a million billion times because it's my favorite.

Anyway the rest of this post is just going to be me going !!!!! so, spoilers ahead

Things I think intensely about:

-how suna is going to react to Gaara deciding to become the kazekage

-how any detractors of his new position are going to be IMMEDIATELY shut down because the "first" thing he does is "contract with a seals mistress to get the dead wastes converted into arable land" (who is going to prove it WASNT a seal? Sunas sealing sucks lol. And technically it did originate from a seal. Gelels seal.)

-how devastated Gai is going to be upon learning literally everything Kakashi went through

-how pissed as fuck people are going to be upon discovering that root seals can apparently block soulmate bonds? I feel like sealing people without their informed consent is about to become very very illegal outside of emergency circumstances.

-how the fuck is cat feeling. Does he believe Kakashi is dead? Does he hope Kakashi is alive?

-nara shikakunand yoshino are about to fucking eviscerate the elder council. Either they were aware of this bullshit or they were criminally negligent. Oh, what's that inoichi and shibi? Some of your family got kidnapped too? Maybe we should bring torture back to t&i. Just this once.

-kakashi is going to be so fucking proud of shikimaru. In his super repressed way. Maybe in a he deserves that legacy more than I ever did if he's feeling self deprecating.

-do you think temari has to sit through a million drafts and revised versions of kankuros shikabane play the more information comes out. Soul mates who were cut off completely from their connection, one believing the other dead, and the other never even educated about soul bonds. Them still recognizing each other enough that Kakashi was kind to her and she freed him instead of killing him. Please kankuro why can't you make the fight scenes longer.

-shikaku seeing shikakos complete shadow transformation and being like "yeah that's insanely dangerous to so much as think about attempting, I don't want to consider how bad things had to be for her to create that. Forbidden jutsu on account of who the fuck knows how she didn't end up falling into the black"

-does Gai feel like he failed Kakashi. Does he swear never to do so again. Imagine him thanking shikako for saving his friend. Imagine Kakashi being shocked Gai still considers him a friend

-hi inoichi this is my soulmate Kakashi, he did not take thinking I was assassinated well at all, do you have any self help books because he hates talking about feelings

-obviously she knows about seals because danzo wanted his own nara level intelligent seal master. Obviously she hid as much of her skill as she could from him because she isn't stupid.

-anyway here's a book a better storage scroll some medical seals and the seal to get rid of roots evil tattoo of shittyness.

-actually now I'm thinking about what if she DOES join suna because Kakashi has trouble feeling safe in konoha or just because being around a shikamaru who never knew her and idolizes Kakashi is kind of awkward.

-if they share dreams do you think she explains her original world to Kakashi after he dreams of cities he's never seen.

-wondering who was the first person to remember the lookalike yoshino nara missing nin that got mentioned in that one report.

-if I think about how nervous Kakashi is going to be the first time he trolls shikako and how he'll feel when she grins or laughs or goes along with it I experience An Emotion™

-"I don't know if you'll like them, but here's other you's favorite books. They make a good social barrier, and you've been looking a little overwhelmed."

-yoshino is going to cry so so so much. Her baby needed her all this time and she never knew it.

-kakashi learning that he was absolutely invited to shikakos funeral and danzo is just a dick who lies

#nara shikako #shikako nara #dreaming of sunshine #wafflelate #the art of losing by wafflelate #the many gardens of shikabane hime #is that everything? no. i love that fic.#ive actually only read it seven or eight times so far

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shanastoryteller · 2 years

Note

#lily james and sirius all trusted peter over remus #do you ever think about that #and what that implies about their relationship - WELL NOW I AM THINKING ABOUT IT I GUESS :sideeye: What do you think WHY they did it that way? Like, I mean, a deeply (?) buried prejudice against 'dark creatures'? Idk I just don't see that at least for Lily...would be really interested to hear your thoughts on that if you'd be willing to expand on that. Thx and take care xx

this ask touches on SEVERAL things i think about all the time so i'm going to use it as an excuse to talk about all of them

i think lily could be just as prejudiced, if not more, as anyone who's grown up in the wizarding world

harry's dislike of slytherin ("anything but slytherin") was solidified by one throwaway comment by hagrid and one unpleasant interaction with draco. these kids are eleven. that's the perfect age to pick up on unbiased bigotry. no critical thinking, all reaction, and bubbling with feelings lacking framework

hermione doesn't care about remus being a werewolf, but then again she's a rights and freedoms activist. she wouldn't, would she? that's not a muggleborn thing, that's a hermione thing

harry doesn't care, but honestly that's because harry - like a lot of abused kids - is incredibly self centered. people who are nice to him and who are safe are good. people who are mean and who could hurt him are bad. it takes him years to develop any type of nuance, because that's how long it takes for him to both grow up and grow out of survival mode. harry doesn't hate werewolves because a werewolf has never insulted his mother or made him uncomfortable. remus is nice to him, remus is safe, remus is a werewolf - therefore being a werewolf can't be bad

lily was best friends with severus snape, who's not a man i associate with a large amount of tolerance. if snape had kept his hatred to creatures rather than muggles, maybe lily wouldn't have cared at all

frankly, i don't think the marauders - any of them - were exactly the nicest of people, and i don't think their ringleader married the nicest of girls

that doesn't make them evil. and frankly a lot of kids grow out of their meanness (the saddest i'm ever able to feel for canon snape is at the idea that james grew out of his meanness at the same rate that snape grew into his)

but damn, did these kids' meanness take things way too far

one of the things that i can't help but roll my eyes at in canon is the idea that snape owes james a life debt. especially since this first comes up in first year when dumbledore is trying to explain snape's actions to harry by saying he protected harry to repay his father - and not the fact that he's a teacher and that's his job, or the obvious truth that dumbledore didn't want to tell harry - that snape looks out for him, inbetween being and asshole and terrible teacher - because his mother was his best friend

frankly, the incident surrounding this casts sirius in such an irredeemable light that the only way i can wrap my head around this occuring anything close to canon without remus cutting sirius out of his life or some serious consequences, and with dumbledore apparently knowing about all of it and not being outright insane, is this:

sirius told snape about the whomping willow because he thought he was a coward

the shrieking shack was rumored to be haunted and everyone avoided it because of the terrible shrieking, which was obviously remus as he transformed. snape was snooping around and sirius was tired of dodging him and so told him about the secret passage. he thinks snape is a coward, so what he thinks is going to happen is that snape gets scared at the screams, backs out of looking further, and is so embarrassed about being a coward that he stops harassing them about all the questions surrounding remus

this has to be it, because the only option is that he was okay with killing another student, ruining his best friend's life if not getting him thrown in azkaban, and likely getting himself expelled. in one version sirius is a kid with bad judgement but no malicious intent, while in the other he's literally a psycopath

obviously this plan doesn't work because snape is a lot of things, but not a coward. realistically this is happening in their sixth year when james is already obsessed with lily and she's likely started to thaw towards him if not dating him. he's heard more about snape from lily than he's been able to pick up in six years of sniping at each other and james knows that there's no way in hell that snape is going to turn away. instead of trying to explain that to sirius, he bolts, and goes to stop snape from finding remus

he's too late, but they both manage to get away unscathed, somehow. the other thing that makes sense to me is that james through himself between snape and remus - not as a form of self sacrifice, but because remus was familiar enough with him, even while he's in his human form and remus is a wolf, to be thrown enough to stop himself from attacking

james was in very little to no danger. if remus had lunged for him, he could have transformed into prongs. snape, on the other hand, could have died

he did not risk his life to save snape. he risked some injury, quickly fixed by pomfrey, if anything. if james hadn't saved snape, sirius would be expelled, remus would be imprisoned or worse, snape would be dead, and lily would never speak to him again

snape is the one with all the power here. i imagine this is when lily has to get involved, because the idea that snape didn't go around telling everyone what happened, that dumbledore would just tell snape to keep quiet about being nearly murdered by another student, makes no sense

lily finds out about remus being a werewolf because he nearly kills her childhood friend. lily has spent years thinking that remus is a cruel, heartless bully, and now she finds out that he's a monster

lily is not on the mauraders' side here

but snape is physically incapable of not biting his nose to spite his face. he reads dark books all the time and he knows exactly how dangerous a werewolf is and why and he knows that it's not his fault, that remus can't help himself, and he snaps at lily. things between them are so broken by now (if this is how she reacts to dark things, how would she react if she knew the truth about him?). he says that if she wasn't an ignorant mudblood then she'd know better than to come to the most base conclusions

getting scolded by snape of all people for being prejudiced cleanses her of her knee jerk fear and shames her for feeling it at all. snape now feels stuck because he can't go back on his words that were mostly bullshit, so he has to commit. when dumbledore hears of everything, snape says that he went exploring in the shack on his own even though it's forbidden and james stopped him, which is why all dumbledore does is tell him to keep remus's secret

whatever the reason, whatever the circumstances, snape does not: go public to get remus expelled/imprisoned/killed or tell the world that sirius attempted to kill him; ever tell another soul what remus is even if he does hint an awful lot when he starts working in his school again (with children, when he's so dangerous, and snape is then proven right)

i think the reason why remus and snape's relationship is almost cordial is because remus is grateful to him. snape may hate him and hate that he's there and think he's not qualified to be there, but he did not return cruelty with more cruelty 20 some odd years ago and even the werewolf curriculum while he's out is so much less worse than it could be. snape is petty and vicious and rude and very cruel, but sometimes in some circumstances "not as much of an asshole as you could have been" is enough

that said, i don't think lily, james, and sirius's feelings for remus were about prejudice

i think james and sirius have known each other the longest - both purebloods if in different circles - and peter's known them only slightly less. i think of the pettigrews as a formerly rich if not prestigious family that's fallen on hard times - perhaps drained by the war

remus they meet at hogwarts and they love him and trust him and the very first thing he does is lie to them. it's not personal. they understand why, when they find out, but now they know what remus acts like when he's lying

war is hard

sirius says no because he's the obvious choice, but also because he's still fighting on the frontlines, likely working to turn moderates from dark families because he's the best one for that, because despite his break from his family he still knows that crowd, still grew up with them

remus is working to do the same thing with the werewolves, just like we see him doing with the second war

i think peter is a spy. he's supposed to use his animagus form to spy on death eater meetings, which is how he gets caught and how he gets turned

harry is an accident

lily and james are fighting on the frontlines of this war. they're young and everything's going to hell and they have work to do - now is not the time for a child. but lily gets pregnant, which is bad enough, but then they find out that Voldemort is targeting their child specifically they make the very hard decision to place their family over the war

they hide

but sirius, remus, and peter can't hide. they still have work to do. more work, even, now that lily and james can't leave their home

i don't think sirius and remus ever intended to have children. whether they're together or apart, the reasoning is the same. a werewolf raising a child is under such intense scrutiny. any child of sirius's would be hounded by the black family, and frankly i think sirius in particular had a lot of growing up to do even then

peter, i think, might have planned to have children. he spends twelve years not only as a rat, but a child's pet rat. children are rough and loud. i can only assume that he must have liked children to settle there, liked them enough to find being their pet a comfort rather than a trial

but what they all decide long before harry is even thought of is that they'll raise their kids together

harry is lily and james's son but he's all their kid. sirius is his official godfather but the mauraders understand it's a title they all share

i think both sirius and remus and even peter didn't want war to touch the potters now that they moved away from it. i think they all sunk into the idea that if they could only keep this one little part of their family safe, maybe it would be worth all the devastation

they started lying

not maliciously. not meanly. but they were trying to hide their stress and horror and fear not only from the potters, but from each other

they all know what remus looks like when he's lying, when he's lying about something huge, when he's doing it all the time

but remus knows what sirius is like when he's lying too. so does james, but since sirius isn't suspicious of him, so he confides in him, and james has no reason to disbelieve him

remus doesn't confide in them. he's trying to be strong for them. he's trying to be a decent soldier and a good uncle and a good friend and he's cracking but he can't crack. his family is depending on him

they know there's a spy. it has to be one of them

remus knows sirius is lying. sirius knows remus is lying. they suspect each other, and the potters reluctantly start to suspect remus too - they have seen this behavior before, after all

as for peter?

he's under so much pressure, and he's so nervous and jumpy all the time. he's not hiding anything

peter's not lying to them

#asks #anon #harry potter #holy fuck this is long #why did i do this

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misseviehyde · 1 year

Text

OUT OF TIME

Flicking through the apps on his shiny new phone - Joe grinned in delight at his new purchase. It was 2007 and he was one of the first people in his circle of friends to own an iphone.

His wife Linda had bought it for him. They'd just got married, were deeply in love and were trying for a baby. In fact she was ovulating today and he had a good feeling that perhaps today could be the day. He was heading home shortly to make love to her, once he'd finished his work up in the office.

Joe was self employed - so he was in his own private office and his employees had all left already. His business was modest - but with good prospects for the future. Right now though - he was completely alone and with just a few things to tidy up.

Suddenly Joe's phone vibrated and he saw a picture message had come through from an unknown number. Intrigued he opened it up. Who could this be?

Joe's mouth dropped open as he saw a picture of an incredibly gorgeous looking twenty something girl in sexy lingerie. The resolution of the image was incredible, far sharper and more defined than his own photos so far. She appeared to be holding a phone like his - but so much more futuristic and advanced looking. In fact - everything about her oozed a futuristic sexuality... girls in 2007 just didn't look like this.

The phone began to ring and Joe answered it hesitantly.

"Hi Daddy, did you get my picture?"

"Errrrr who is this? I think there's a mistake."

"No Daddy there's no mistake, my name is Krystal and I'm your step-daughter."

"Errrrr I don't have a step-daughter," he said - feeling confused.

"Not yet you don't - but years from now once you dump that loser bitch Linda you will. I'm calling you from the future Daddy."

Joe laughed, "So this is a prank call. Who put you up to this?"

"You had to settle for Linda until you made it big. Soon your business will become a success... you'll become rich and powerful and then you'll meet my Mom Shelly and me. My Mom and her big tits will own you. She gets a job as your slutty secretary and you begin banging her brains out daily. She transforms you into an Alpha male and you ditch that fat cow Linda to marry her."

"Stop it... this isn't funny," snarled Joe down the phone - though to his horror his cock was suddenly and unexpectedly stiffening.

"You start working out, you get a little cosmetic work done... you even get a cock enlargement. Soon you're a powerful dominant bastard who gets everything he wants."

Joe groaned suddenly at the thought of being a stud with a big cock - it sounded nice. His average five inch cock got even harder. He imagined what it would feel like to have eight or nine inches down there.

"And with your slut eighteen year old step daughter, you soon have the tightest pussy you could imagine for that big new cock to fill. That's right Daddy - you get bored of my Mom and start fucking me. You give me everything I want and spoil me rotten. It's wonderful..."

Krystal's voice was breathy and with a edge of pleasure to it. It sounded like she was touching herself.

"There's only one fly in the ointment..."

Krystal's voice changed - became petulant.

"Before you dump Linda, you get that fat loser pregnant and she has a daughter. Your prim and proper daughter Megan. For some reason you love her unconditionally and she gets in my way of totally controlling and corrupting you. That's why I'm calling Daddy."

Krystal's voice became seductive and slutty again.

"Right now that fucking loser is swimming around in your balls as a tiny sperm. See tonight is the night Megan is conceived and I want to ruin everything. I want you to jerk that dick for me and pump all your sperm out. I want you to flush that little loser down the toilet and leave your balls drained and empty so Linda can't conceieve tonight."

"You're insane - this isn't real. You aren't from the future. That isn't possible."

Joe felt his phone *ding* as more pictures arrived. With Krystal on speaker phone he opened them up to see topless nudes of the perfect young bitch and a video of her masturbating her tight shaven pussy with a glass dildo.

"It doesn't matter if it's real or not Daddy... you're still gonna jerk off. Look how fucking hot I am? Just imagine how good my pussy would feel gripping your cock... imagine sliding it in and out of me."

Krystal began to moan down the phone, her hot pants and moans making his cock even harder.

"Grab your cock Daddy. Pump for me."

Driven horny with lust, Joe unzipped his fly and grabbed his dick. He shuddered in pleasure. He'd never had phone sex before and this was so hot and naughty.

"Yessssss... play along with the fantasy Daddy. You need to cum for me Daddy... its going to feel so fucking good to cum again and again. I want your balls pumped empty of every last sperm. Your cum belongs to me now Daddy - Linda gets nothing."

Joe couldn't believe how turned on he was. He began to follow Krystal's instructions, more pictures and videos of her playing with herself arriving to his phone for him to stroke to.

"That's it Daddy... harder... faster.... stroke that cock and give me the biggest load you can."

"Ugggghhh I should stop," groaned Joe as he pumped - his eyes glued to a video of Krystal fingering her tight cunt - "I'm supposed to go home and make love to Linda."

"No Daddy... you need to keep going. You need to cum... you need to make me happy. Once you cum Megan will be no more. I'll be your little bitch - the centre of your world. It will all be MINE Daddy. Now do it for me... cum for Krystal and betray the daughter you will never even meet."

With a moan Joe erupted. His balls convulsed as thick loads of fertile white cum erupted from the tip. His dick throbbed and throbbed - more cum oozing out as he heard Krystal's triumphant laughing.

"YES DADDY... OH YES!"

Squeezing the last of the cum out of his cock, Joe felt a flash of guilt. He had been saving that for Linda - but now he had wasted his load.

"I can always get her pregnant another night," he mused. Looking down he saw Krystal had hung up and vanished - but her pics and videos remained.

"Or I could keep jerking off to this slut... fuck she's hot. It would be kind of hot if she really was my future twisted step-daughter."

Cleaning himself up, Joe decided to finish his final task which was to read the applications for the secretary position. He would do that then head home and try to avoid having sex with Linda.

Opening the folder he gasped as he read the first application and his eyes widened in fear.

The first applicants name was Shelly and it said here she had a teenage daughter... a daughter named Krystal...

THE END

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kokiriofthevalley · 5 months

Text

My silly little Link headcannons

hii again I'm very bored rn sooo

again for Zelda, it's only the major ones, sorry obscure link fans

also wtf is this gif I found 😭😭

Skyward Sword

✯has the biggest crush on his Zelda bc they're so close

✯like it's VERY obvious how they feel about eachother

✯His fav flavour of ice cream is Oreo ice cream but he also loves toffee and vanilla too

✯He can talk but he prefers sign language (dialect of sign language may vary on preference ((like ASL or BSL or LSE, ect)) ) and talks to save time in an emergency in case the other person may not know sign, but DOES sign if they do

For this one, I thought about the cutscenes where he's explaining something (like the current location or condition of Zelda) to another character and we can see his mouth moving.

✯no because if video games existed in skyloft, i just know that he's playing stardew valley and papas freezeria. I can feel it in my BONES

✯Definitely woke up under his bed once and hit his head on the bedframe

✯him and Groose have insult battles but then they get ice cream together after

Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask

✯somebody get this poor boy a therapist and a hug PLEASE

Twilight Princess

✯it felt natural to him when he transformed using the Zora mask in mm, because both the models for adult link and Zora link are the same size

✯mute

✯i think he played the ocarina like a recorder (aka with no experience at all) and did each note individually and the magic of the ocarina of time was probably like "there is NO WAY that I'm letting this kid tarnish my reputation goddamit" and made the songs sound nicer after he had played all the notes

✯forgot once that he was a kid again and walked to Romani ranch to get some chateau Romani and was genuinely surprised when Cremia said no

✯Had more of a genuine connection to Midna, but still had a friendship with princess Zelda

Wind Waker

✯felt a strange familial connection to the hero of shades when he met him and made link want to find out who the hero of shades was

✯does NOT like how short he is when he transforms into a wolf

✯Best poker face in history

Breath of the Wild

✯Gives Aryll piggybacks when she wants

✯would gladly eat his grandma's soup for the rest of his life

✯His grandma gave him the recipe to her soup when he left to discover the new Hyrule

✯Has the most major and unhidable (that's not a word but who cares) side eye in the history of time

✯If the events of WW didn't happen, I think he would have grown up to be a cartographer or he would REALLY like making his own maps

✯sorry to get all angsty but I don't think he wanted to kill Ganondorf. I just don't. I don't think either of them wanted to kill eachother. I feel like Link feels guilty about it because it's so obvious that it was only self defense after the triforce was touched by king Daphnes and it literally drove Ganondorf insane

Tbh I'd go crazy too if something I had wanted so badly got taken by another person even tho I literally got SEALED IN ANOTHER FUCKING REALM FOR A LONG AMOUNT OF TIME for it

Again sorry for no totk for this one pls no spoilers

✯Gets ambushed by Yiga so many times that he knows their names

*Yiga poofs into existence* "IM HERE TO KILL YOU LINK, IN REVENGE FOR MASTER KOHGA!!!!"

"oh hi jerry, nice weather eh?" -link

✯After he saved princess Zelda, he took a nap that lasted 4 ENTIRE days

✯not even the sound of kass' accordion could wake his ass up

✯very obvious but if he wasn't a knight, he would be a chef. Not sous chef. He would be head chef.

✯His hands are probably rough as hell from all that Hero Of Hyrule™-ing he has done

✯despite being able to lift heavy objects, his arms are still noodles

#tloz #ocarina of time #oot #tp #twilight princess #wind waker #ww #zelda #the legend of zelda #link #ww link #skyward link #skyward sword #mm #majoras mask #zelda headcanon #headcanon #headcannons #link headcannons

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ckret2 · 1 year

Text

Editing's going faster now. Here's chapter four of The Mystery Shack Takes Human Bill Cipher Prisoner. (Real title TBD.) Chapters one, two, and three.

####

In the middle of the night, Ford knocked on the attic door: "Eye check!"

Mabel and Dipper groaned.

"No complaining! This is for everyone's safety." Ford opened the attic door. "This will be the last one before Stanley and I take over guard duty, you can get some uninterrupted sleep then."

Mabel squinted up at Ford's flashlight with her blanket pulled up to her nose. Dipper groggily sat up as Ford inspected his eyes, but then he snatched the flashlight. "You too."

"Good thinking, Dipper. I know I'm me, but the rest of you shouldn't take my word for it." Ford crouched by the bed and let Dipper shine the flashlight in his eyes.

"Okay, clear." Dipper handed it back.

Mabel yawned. "What if Bill got colored contacts? We wouldn't be able to tell he's in someone's head, right?"

Ford froze halfway out the attic doorway. "Nobody go back to sleep! I need to do another eye check!"

The entire household groaned.

####

Once Soos reassured the Pines that Bill was "Still sleeping like a creepy, tied-up baby," he and Melody went to bed as Stan and Ford took over guard duty.

Usually, the cellar was one of the least interesting rooms in the shack. A water heater, a washing machine, storage for some old furniture and electronics. But when Stan and Ford opened the cellar doors, the first thing Ford's flashlight beam fell on was the body of Bill's puppet, face covered in a cloud of hair, curled up small on the bare mattress at the bottom of the stairs. The bright yellow and purple in the dull room was as shocking as a scream.

Ford quickly turned his flashlight off. He stood stock still on the top step.

Stan locked the doors behind them. "So, uh. Do you wanna just... stay up here?"

Ford nodded stiffly. "That seems wise. It keeps us between him and the only exit."

"Yeah. Smart thinking."

They sat on the stairs together.

Even with the flashlight off, Ford couldn't stop seeing the figure curled up below—invisible in the dark but nevertheless vividly, dreadfully imagined. It changed the room, transforming it into a tomb. The walls seemed to tilt in on the unconscious, unseen silhouette, forcing Ford and Stan toward the thing that wanted them dead.

After about fifteen minutes, Ford was on the verge of being driven insane by his own heartbeat pounding in his ears, when the cellar's silence was interrupted by a soft shuffling-creaking on the mattress below.

Ford elbowed Stan. Stan snorted and started awake. "Huh—what—?"

"Shh!"

There was more shuffling, then a groan. A high, fearful, feminine voice called out, "Wh... where am I? Am I tied up? What happened? What—"

Ford turned his flashlight on. The person on the mattress flinched, blinking heavily at the sudden light. "Hello? Wh-who are you? How did I get here, what do you want with me?"

"All right, calm down," Ford said brusquely. "Tell me, what do you remember?"

"I..." The person on the mattress frowned in concentration. "It's a blur. The last thing I remember is this... weird dream about a golden triangle?"

Ford exchanged a glance with Stan. "What did the triangle do?"

"I think he offered me some kind of bargain? After that, I'm not sure... I think I remember sleepwalking—"

"That was Hebrew," Ford said. "You speak fluent Hebrew?"

The person below blinked. "Jewish school?"

Stan snorted.

"Fine," Ford said. "Where are you from?"

"You mean, before all this? Arizona—I'm from Sedona—how far am I from home—?"

"And," Ford said, "that was Latin." Stan wheezed.

Open mouth. Shut mouth. Open. "I... majored in classical studies—"

"Give it up, Bill."

The expression of innocent fear melted away into a tired, almost bored look. "Ha. All right, I'm too tired to talk my way out of this one." Bill's voice sounded like him again. "It was worth a shot." He struggled in his restraints to roll over. "Turn off the light, would ya? My head's killing me."

"Leave it on," Stan said.

Without looking at them, Bill said, "I can make my voice very annoying."

Stan said, "Leave it on, and I'll get a sock and duct tape."

Ford turned off the flashlight.

When Bill had been unconscious, he'd been a vague, undefined threat. The dark seemed different now. Less frightening. Knowing Bill was awake made it easier to remember what he was:

A pest. A nuisance. A pain in the keister.

Stan quietly pantomimed chucking something at Bill's head, then muttered under his breath, "I don't know why he's tired. He's almost got a full night's sleep."

"I don't know if he's ever controlled a human body for this long," Ford said. "Much less been magically trapped in one by a unicorn belt. Maybe prolonged psychic puppetry drains his energy—"

"Or maybe he's a wimp," Stan cut in. "That's what I was going for, I'm suggesting he's a wimp."

Ford snorted quietly. "Or he's a wimp."

There was no sound from below. Either Bill had already fallen back asleep, or he was doing a darn good job of pretending he had. For a moment, Stan and Ford remained silent, listening.

Then Ford stood, unlocked the door, and quietly left.

####

There was a clatter at the attic window. Dipper and Mabel both immediately bolted upright, fully alert—they'd never quite gotten back to sleep—and exchanged a terrified look.

There was a second sharp tap. They scrambled out of bed, peered out the window—and then flung it open. "Wendy!"

Wendy froze in the middle of winding up to throw another stone. "Hey! Dipper, Mabel! I couldn't sleep, I was worried about you guys. Is your secret weird paranormal thing over?"

Dipper and Mabel leaned out of the window. They were wearing pajamas and matching tin foil hats.

Wendy stared at them. "I'm... taking that as a no." She bit her lip to keep from laughing. "You guys look exhausted."

Mabel groaned. "It's been keeping us up all night. It's impossible to lay down with tin foil on your head?"

"And we've been getting checked on every couple hours," Dipper said.

"Plus it might not be safe to sleep!"

"And—" Dipper grimaced. "And we can't even talk about it until it's over..."

"Okay, yeah, got it," Wendy said. "Secret family business, it's cool. Just—reassure me that you guys are safe? I don't want you to get eaten by a T-Rex-nado or something before we get to hang this summer."

Were they safe? They exchanged a look. Mabel tilted her head and shrugged uncertainly. Dipper said, "The threat... is... securely contained."

That time, Wendy did burst out laughing. "Okay! I'll accept that. I already told Soos, but—call me if you need backup, all right?"

Mabel stuck a thumbs up out the window. "You got it!"

"Thanks, Wendy."

"I'll see you in the morning if the Mystery Shack's open," Wendy said. "If not... I dunno, my day'll be free, maybe we can do something? If you don't have to deal with the contained threat."

"Yeah, that sounds great," Mabel said. "I'm gonna see Grenda and Candy sometime tomorrow, buuut I don't think Dipperhas anything planned—"

Dipper kicked her ankle. She kicked his back, grinning.

"Awesome. See you tomorrow, then."

When Wendy had biked away, Dipper said, "You're not gonna spend all summer teasing me about last summer's crush, are you?"

"Nooo, I'm not, I promise! But I had to get one in." Mabel laughed and flopped heavily on her bed. The old mattress springs wheezed. "Besides! I know your heart belongs to that girl at the judo club who likes you."

"Mabel, I don't—" Dipper paused. "Do you really think Kelsey likes me?"

Mabel laughed. "Good night, Dipper."

Dipper shut the window. They both got back in bed, slid under their covers, and stared at the ceiling. And stared at the ceiling. And stared at the ceiling.

"Pssst. Dipper."

"What is it?"

"I can't sleep. Can you?"

A heavy sigh. "No." Voice low, as if afraid they could be heard all the way from the cellar, Dipper said, "I just keep wondering—did we really trap him in that tourist before he escaped? Or did we lose as soon as he fainted?"

Mabel kicked off her covers, sat up, and turned to face Dipper, hugging her knees. "Actually, I think we did trap him. I... kinda think Bill can't escape?"

Dipper sat up as well. "What do you mean?"

"You remember how I wrestled him when he was you?" Mabel asked. "Your body was really, really cold. Like, dead-cold. But when I was drawing on Bill's face, his skin felt..."

"... Normal." Dipper had spent six hours tackling Bill. When he'd been trying grip Bill's arms and ankles so he couldn't flail free, Dipper hadn't noticed anything unusual about Bill's body—but that was unusual, wasn't it?

"Yeah. Normal. What if he's not controlling somebody? What if he, I dunno, turned himself human to avoid getting killed? Like a unicorn."

"Unicorns don't do that."

"They can if a wizard helps! That's not the point. The point is..." Mabel struggled to put her mountain of emotions into words, and finally, simply finished, "... what if he's just a human now?"

They both had to sit with the suggestion, waiting to see if it filled them with relief or dread. A human was less powerful than whatever Bill had been; but in some way, the human body shielded Bill, too, making it impossible to properly confront and defeat him.

"What if his human body is like a Trojan horse?" Dipper asked. "And this was all a big trick, and he's just—waiting inside it? For one of the remaining micro-rifts to the Nightmare Realm to widen, or—or the perfect moment to return to his real body?"

Mabel hugged her knees a little tighter. "But if he could leave the body any time he wants, do you think he'd be patient enough to just wait?"

"He was patient enough to wait billions of years to get into our universe."

"I don't think that counts. He wasn't biding his time, he was stuck. He would've gotten here sooner if he could have."

"Then... I don't know."

That was just it. They didn't know.

They didn't want to talk about the dread pooling in their stomachs and creeping up the backs of their necks. They didn't want to talk about their anger—the injustice that he was back, that this wasn't over, that another summer was going to be overshadowed by him.

But if they weren't talking about that, what else could they talk about? It was all they could think about. For a moment, they just sat together in silence.

Which was when they heard Ford yelp in alarm.

####

Soos had answered the knock on his bedroom door holding a baseball bat.

Ford drew back, hands raised. "Soos, it's me! What's this for?"

"Sorry. It's been a crazy night. I keep having dreams about the Roman Senate assassinating Bill? Like, Julius Caesar, except he's a triangle?" Soos put the bat down. "Anyway, what's up? Is it time for another eye check?"

"Yes, but that's not the main reason I'm here."

Still in bed, Melody groaned, "Are all these really necessary?"

Soos had to use his fingers to hold his eyes open for Ford's flashlight. "'Fraid so. Bill's really good at taking over people. He's got Dipper, he's got Ford... One time he got me! That doesn't really count though, it was in a dream. Kinda."

"All right, you're clean." Ford looked at Melody, decided that since he'd had confirmation that Bill was still in the body in the cellar it might be a little too rude to examine a half-asleep young woman in bed, and offered the flashlight to Soos so he could check his fiancée instead. "What I really came up here to say is that Bill woke up. Now we know he's still in that body."

("Melody, have I told you lately that you have really pretty eyes?" "Awww, Soos.")

Ford cleared his throat. "Stan's 'friends' are waiting. Time to gag him and go."

Soos's expression hardened. (It wasn't terribly intimidating.) "I'll get the sock and duct tape."

Melody rubbed the spots from her eyes. "Are you up for this? You've got a long drive, and you've been up all night looking at everybody's eyes."

"Bill's given me worse sleep deprivation than this," Ford said wryly. "I'll be fine."

"You're sure? If you need someone to help drive..."

"Melody, you're an angel for helping as much as you have. Especially when none of this is your problem yet." Even though she occasionally spent the night with Soos, she wouldn't be moving into the shack until after the wedding and honeymoon, which they'd scheduled for after the summer tourist rush. "And I know you have reservations about—how we're handling this."

Melody shrugged ruefully. "I mean—I don't like that you've got the demon triangle in your cellar, but Soos says you're some kind of insane space wizard and an expert on this stuff, so..." In the dim light, she flashed Ford a strained smile. "Just—I guess—tell me if there's anything else I can do to help prevent the apocalypse."

Insane space wizard. Ford hoped that was a compliment. "Just hold down the fort while we're moving Bill. Thank you."

####

Dipper and Mabel pulled their ears away from the attic door. Dipper whispered, "Anything could go wrong while they're moving Bill. Do you think we should...?"

"Pfff!" Mabel rolled her eyes. "C'mon bro, is that even a question?"

Dipper smiled wanly.

Wordlessly, they put on their backpacks—already packed—and pulled sweaters on over their pajamas, and tiptoed downstairs with their shoes in their hands.

####

Ford inspected Stan's eyes again before he said, "Soos will be down in a minute."

Stan blinked the lights out of his eyes. "You'd better not keep doing that while I'm driving." He shut the door so that if Bill woke back up, he couldn't listen in on their plans to relocate him.

"You're not going to be driving. I am."

"Come on! It's my car!"

"It's night, you have cataracts, and you already fell asleep during guard duty."

"I wasn't asleep, I was resting my eyes!"

"In the dark?" Ford asked. "Would you prefer Soos or me?"

Stan grumbled and crossed his arms, but decided he wasn't going to win this fight. He nudged Ford and changed the topic. "Now, that Latin was all Greek to me—but is it just me, or is his Hebrew better than yours?"

He was saying it to be annoying. Ford knew he was trying to be annoying. It worked. Ford was annoyed. "Well—of course he's better. He's probably been speaking it three thousand years. And his accent's probably just as old."

"Ah, excuses. Bet his Latin's better, too."

He was doing it on purpose. He was doing it on purpose. "You wouldn't know Latin from Latvian!"

"This isn't about me." Stan gave Ford his most annoying shit-eating grin. "Hey—when did you pick up Latin, anyway?"

At least he wasn't teasing anymore. "I needed to complete an undergrad foreign language requirement."

"You just couldn't go for something useful that living people speak, huh?"

"On the contrary, Latin's been enormously useful in my study of weirdness. It's very popular with sorcerers and occultists alike," Ford said. "And it got us out of that bar brawl in Atlantis, didn't it?"

"That gobbledygook was Latin? I thought it was some kind of mermaid language. Or Italian," Stan said. "Well, whaddaya know? Good job going to the only college in the world teaching Conversational Latin, I guess."

Ford grimaced. "Actually... I just learned to read and write Latin at Backupsmore. The only reason I can speak it... is Bill."

An uncomfortable silence settled over them, the way it always did when Stan asked where'd you pick up—? or how'd you learn about—? and Ford had to say Bill. It was an answer that demanded more questions that Stan didn't really want to ask and Ford didn't really want to answer. Usually, when Ford said Bill, Stan changed the topic.

But burying the topic was harder when Bill was less than twenty feet away. Stan shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his gaze on the weeds sprouting in the shack's parking lot. "You've said he used to be your friend. You didn't mean like when you call a guy a 'friend' because you don't hate running into him twice a year at the grocery store. Did you?"

Ford got the impression that Stan wanted to believe Bill had just been a cordial acquaintance. Ford wished. He shook his head.

Stan clicked his tongue. "You know, I never got the impression you were 'friends' when I was reading your journals. He just seemed like another of your random... demon-fairy acquaintances."

"I ripped out the other pages about him."

"There were more?"

Ford's head burned with shame. He'd waxed poetic—called him divine, blessed, a miracle, a muse—been inspired to draw sunrises and constellations because a mere drawing of an eye in a triangle couldn't convey the all-encompassing awe Ford's muse filled him with—and all that for what? A two-dimensional two-bit con artist who'd been slumming it in the lawless no man's land between civilized dimensions, now chained up on a dingy mattress in Ford's cellar.

Stan had a right to know—but it was hard to admit just how enraptured Ford had been by an interdimensional grifter. Hard to admit nothing else had enraptured him so much since. Nothing sparkled quite like fool's gold. "We can talk once he's gone."

Stan paused. "Yeah. That's probably better."

####

Apparently Bill really had fallen asleep again that fast, because he didn't stir as the Pines and Soos gagged him and carried him into the back of Stan's car. Soos sat in the back with his baseball bat and Bill, and Ford and Stan silently envied him for not having to turn his back on Bill. The car pulled away from the Mystery Shack with its headlights off.

Moments later, Dipper and Mabel followed on bikes.

####

#wendy corduroy #mabel pines #dipper pines #(for the art)#bill cipher #human bill cipher #(for the fic)#(ironically bill does the least out of anyone this chapter but like it's ABOUT him)#gravity falls #gravity falls fic #fanfic #bill goldilocks cipher #my writing

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captain-mj · 1 year

Note

Can we get a part 2 of Eldritch King Köing and summoner Horangi 🤭

Part 1

Horangi didn't notice anything different. At first. He had dreams of deep water, the stars surrounding him, being held by something thousands of times bigger than him. It felt like a hand cradled his body, a warmth surrounding him that he had never experienced. A tingling sensation across his skin that, while not pleasurable, was also not unpleasant.

However, that wasn't unheard of for invokers. Sometimes you summon something and your mind has a hard time with it. No big deal. He brushed it and the nickname off.

Horangi sat through a very boring meeting. All of the invokers in the area tried to meet up occasionally, just to warn each other of anything they summoned that may be problematic. He noticed his debtor were absent.

Did Koenig...

"Unfortunately," Calisto appeared next to him, "they were found foaming from the mouth, driven insane."

"Oh..." Yep. Koenig. He shuddered.

"Invoker Horangi." The meeting leader called on him. "Anything you need to report?"

Horangi hesitated. "Possibly." This was embarrassing more than anything.

"...possibly?" She looked confused.

"Uh... I tried to summon my patron. And I may have summoned... Koenig."

She laughed. "What?? What do you mean Koenig?"

Horangi blinked, not sure if he should be offended or not.

"Oh, you're serious." She looked startled. "By accident?? You summoned the King of the Deep by accident??"

"I mean... When was the last time someone attempted to summon him?"

"You don't! Are you sure it wasn't a thing pretending to be him?"

Horangi glanced at the empty seats. "So you see... I struck a deal... I just wanted money, but..."

She stared at the seats and everyone realized. "You didn't SPECIFY???"

"I did!! I just... apparently... didn't do it well enough."

She shook her head. "I swear Horangi, you're a criminal..."

Stiletto chipped in. "And you're... okay?"

"I've checked. No signs of madness, hidden knowledge or sacred geometry. Nothing out of the ordinary."

"What did you offer him?"

"He did it pro bono. He thought I was funny." Horangi lied. No one accepted it.

"Their souls? Your soul?"

"Eldritch beings don't care about souls."

"Fuck, you're right. Your body as a vessel of destruction?" Calisto turned to him.

Horangi sighed. "I had sex with him."

They went quiet before someone uttered a very quiet "what"

"He fucked me. I don't know man. It was good. He didn't stay the night afterwards."

"You..." Stiletto rubbed her temples. "That was your plan?"

"No! It was not! He asked!"

"I cannot... fucking believe this...."

Horangi shrugged.

"So how big was it?" Declan asked.

Horangi thought about it and they all leaned in. "It's fourth dimensional. I mean... It was huge but it didn't make sense. Pretty sure he had shrunk down for me. Very nice of him honestly. I doubt I could have ever walked again if he hadn't fixed me afterward."

"My gods... And you just survived... That's crazy."

Horangi hummed. "Are we done now?"

"Done?? You fucked the King of the Deep and that's all you got? What happened afterward?"

"He left! I don't know!"

"Disappointing."

Horangi threw his hands up. He didn't want to mention that Koenig had called him Gemahlin. It felt... too... much. Too intimate.

So Horangi found a way to wiggle away from them and then went home.

"You summoned me?"

Horangi almost jumped out of his skin and spun around to face him.

Koenig had, mercifully, transformed back into what he looked like afterwards. Human, but very large. Tentacles and shadows snaked along the walls. "My Gemahlin."

"Look... I think we may have... um..."

Koenig moved in front of him, those giant eyes captivating him. He grabbed his face, his skin burned slightly, but Horangi found he did not mind. "You spoke my name."

"I didn't expect you to notice. I..."

"Of course I would if its you." Koenig purred, his hands settling on Horangi's hips.

Horangi realized this may be a problem. "Look... I'm not ready for marriage."

Koenig stared at him.

"I mean... You call me your wife and I appreciate it, though I would prefer husband, but I'm not really looking for such a big commitment."

Koenig continued to stare and it was only occurring to Horangi now that telling a creature capable of destroying his entire universe he wasn't interested may be a bad idea.

"I... would be open... to..." Horangi said shakily. Fuck. Fuck. Oh no. He had just damned the entire world to-

"Oh!" Koenig said cheerfully. "You wish to be courted first?"

"Yep! That's what I meant!" Horangi smiled awkwardly. "I want to be courted first. You're a... being beyond my comprehension so I doubt you'd do that for something as... insignificant as me."

Koenig smiled at him and grabbed him. "I will court you."

Oh no.

"Ah... Thank you."

Koenig covered Horangi's eyes and removed his mask. Horangi winced as the cold air hit his face before a pair of unnaturally soft lips pressed to his. They were freezing and they burned at the same time, but it was... pleasant.

"My Gemahlin."

Horangi felt words sparking on his tongue. They wanted to get out and he felt the pressure in his throat like something really was trying to fight it's way out of his mouth. Fear and curiosity fighting in his brain.

He opened his mouth slightly and Koenig's tongue pushed in. Horangi almost fell to his knees, completely unprepared for how he'd taste. Ambrosia maybe? Nectar? He found himself pushing back, licking at Koenig's lips to get entry. Horangi's hands shakily found their place on his shoulders and what he assumed were Koenig's hands gripped his hips.

He did not dare to open his eyes, worried of what he would see. When Koenig pulled away, his thoughts scattered before he felt him kiss his cheek. And then his jaw. And then down his throat.

"What are you doing?"

"You called my name."

"I was telling my friends what happened."

The atmosphere became suffocating. The air around him started to grow thick like honey.

"Why?"

"You killed some people. Had to explain why."

"They threatened you."

"Koenig, I only asked for money." Horangi said softly and things started to wriggle under his clothing. They groped at his skin, leaving hickey sized bruises.

"Are you... unhappy with me?" Why did he sound anxious? As if Horangi's thoughts meant anything? If Koenig so pleased, he could reach in and scramble those thoughts. Pluck them out and crush them.

Horangi squeezed the flesh he was holding, finding that he didn't mind that it writhed. Instead, he found himself curious. "No. I can't find it in myself to care they died. However, I am... a little unhappy."

There it went again. The air felt like gravel to breath.

"Why?" Koenig whispered meekly.

"Because you have done so much to me and I haven't been allowed to do much to you." Horangi reached for him, touching him all over.

"And what do you want to do to me?" Koenig's voice did something odd. It vibrated more, bouncing off the walls. A version of being breathless.

Horangi grabbed one of the tentacles and pressed slightly, hearing Koenig keen. "you have to stay human or you'll burst my eardrums." He reminded gently.

Koenig melted slightly and he felt him nod against his skin. Horangi continued to tug and pinch at the tentacles, finding what felt good and what felt didn't. It was difficult, Koenig trying his best to stay as quiet as possible.

Sound suddenly disappeared and Horangi jerked, worried he had went deaf. Koenig's voice broke through. "Protecting your sanity again. I'll stop if you do something wrong."

Horangi nodded and continued his slow exploration. He felt Koenig arch and twist, pressing into his touch and also tried to escape it. With two of his senses down, it was a bit difficult and then he got idea. He tried to see where Koenig was the most sensitive, searching and leading his hands down. Eventually, Koenig got what he wanted and led his hands to a patch of smaller tentacles. Koenig trembled, the air vibrating around them with the slightest brush of Horangi's hand.

A God broken down so easily.

Horangi leaned down and lapped over. It tasted like Koenig's mouth which was great for Horangi. Maybe not so good for Koenig. He started to twirl the tentacles around his mouth and he had to grip the God to keep him from moving away.

In his head, Koenig's voice bounced around. "Horangi, Horangi, Horangi." He started to pinch and stroke the ones he didn't have his mouth.

Horangi slowly pulled away, feeling the strings of saliva connecting them.

"Do not tease me, Gemahlin." His voice commanded, still only in his head. More a giant thought than a real audible sound.

"What will you do if I keep teasing? I feel I deserve to tease you a little."

Koenig didn't get a chance to respond as Horangi sucked one of the tentacles hard. It felt so soft. Tasted divine.

"I... I am close..." Koenig grabbed his hair and tried to tug him away gently, but Horangi didn't let up. He felt him shudder but there was no release like a human. Just a pleasant warmth over Horangi's tongue. Horangi pulled back and his hearing returned.

Koenig's voice broke into his thoughts. "I have never... done that before. It felt very pleasant."

Horangi hummed and got up, planning to just ignore his own erection. Koenig wasn't about to do that though. He undid Horangi's clothing and took his cock out of his pants

"Too many teeth for me to do what you did." Instead, something slick wrapped around him, stroking him. Horangi moaned loudly and immediately started to wiggle. It felt so nice. The pleasure wasn't nearly as overwhelming as before.

Koenig kissed all over his skin. Along his inner thighs and his throat and down his back, despite being pressed against him.

Horangi came all over himself. Koenig hummed. "You taste... nice."

Horangi blushed and tried to pull away, but he picked him up. Koenig took him to bed, laying him down. "I will court you in the morning."

"Why do you like me so much?"

"I don't know. You're not that different from other humans. But something about you... draws me in."

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare ii #könig cod #könig call of duty #könig x horangi #horangi #horangi call of duty #horangi cod #cod mw2 #call of duty mwii #mw2 #könig mw2 #modern warfare ii

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sunderingstars · 9 days

Text

☆━━━━━ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☾ ◯ ☽₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ ━━━━━━☆

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER! ⌝

sampo analysis m.list

— a silly little overview of different "sampos" i find interesting

— not meant to be taken super seriously or canonically, but can tie in to some of the theories i have

— in the true spirit of elation, these aren't hills i'm willing to die on, just ones that are fun to play around with :3

— feel free to use for writing/art inspiration!

— i add to this periodically as new sampos catch my eye!

— word count: 3k (good lord)

— 🎭s indicate aha!sampo

☆━━━━━ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☾ ◯ ☽₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ ━━━━━━☆

🎭 sampo "midlife crisis" koski

— at risk of losing his aeon/emanatorhood

— doesn’t find anything funny anymore

— tired of being behind the scenes

— becoming a buzzkill (having “lines” he won’t cross)

— taking drastic measures to improve his quality of life (fucking off to a random ass snow planet to scam people)

note: may lead to a villain arc — sampo "renewed vigor" koski — in which he remembers why he used to love tormenting people, conquers his midlife crisis, and returns to pure elated insanity. this is bad for everyone involved for obvious reasons

🎭 sampo "how're you gonna win if you never take any risks?" koski

— aha took drastic measures to secure their success, either through memory erasure, mortal transformation, giving up power, or all three

— under the radar, civilian aha

— trying to circumvent “destiny” through delusional self-confidence

— enter sampo i mean aha i mean sampo i mean aha i mean s

sampo "ceaseless watcher's special little boy" koski

— not aha but aha definitely likes him

— perhaps an avatar or emanator of some sort

— whether he likes aha or not is up for debate

— can easily turn into sampo "ceaseless watcher get their ass" koski, in which sampo becomes a little too fond of invoking his status as aha's favorite to accomplish his own goals

alternate possibility: he’s aha’s favorite due to his pathetic nature and slutty hip windows, he just doesn’t know it. he thinks his luck is due to his own talent & skill (it is literally outside eldritch forces beyond his control)

sampo "close enough" koski

— not an actual aeon, but rather a vessel for aha’s power or consciousness on varying levels

— perhaps akin to caelus/stelle being a stellaron receptacle

sampo "let's get you back to bed grandpa" koski

— the wear and tear of a long life has taken its toll on him

— despite the infinity of time, he has become out-of-sync with newer masked fools members, who regard him as an “old timer”

— isn’t shown much respect, and is frequently asked why he isn’t as cool as he used to be

— also know as sampo "L + ratio + fell off" koski

— “peaked in high school” energy

— can be either aha, emanator, or similar high status

🎭 sampo "in rehab" koski

— aeonic existence isn’t easy and can, in fact, take a toll on those that ascend from human forms

— he finally decided that maybe he should make a change

— and has thus embarked on a healing journey

— therapeutic exercises include: scamming people, starting pyramid schemes, selling artifacts on the black market, and more!

sampo "ultimate dealmaker" koski

— in a contract or some sort of deal with aha in exchange for power, money, or a combination or the two

— possession? who knows

🎭 sampo "i'm not mad i'm just disappointed" koski

— doesn’t understand why his children have strayed so far

— “where did i go wrong? why do they think this is funny? do they even care about the worm?”

— has the energy of an exasperated parent watching his kids flush car keys down the toilet again

🎭 sampo "horrified creator" koski

— aha & the masks have outgrown their creator (sampo) and have gone off to do their own aeonic thing, leaving him behind

— he thinks it’s all insane, actually, and he’s very disappointed and very tired

— trying to pick up the pieces of whatever mayhem the aha!masks cause

— aha!masks keep him around for fun

— “i should never have laughed at that goddamn baby”

sampo "me and aha kiss on the weekends" koski

— just a silly little guy who has somehow wormed his way into the heart of an eldritch being

— in it for the mind-bending sex

sampo "blasphemy" koski

— technically affiliated with the masked fools but doesn’t subscribe to their beliefs

— thinks aha is a load of horseshit but needs to keep up with what they’re doing to circumvent it

— may have been formerly in a high-ranking position, or just another guy with a mask

— aha probably wronged him or did some fucked up shit in the past and now he has a vendetta

🎭 sampo "stole my fucking thunder" koski

— someone stole aha’s power. that’s it

— sampo is salty

— 10/10 betrayal plot

potential inverse: he’s the one stealing aha’s power

sampo "my boss sucks and i want to quit" koski

— tired, overworked employee of the masked fools

— views aha as a sort of fucked up insane ceo that he wants nothing to do with but is unfortunately contractually obligated to work for

— wants to start a union

🎭 sampo "next in line" koski

— can also branch into sampo "formerly in line" koski or sampo "abdication" koski

— wherein aha’s power or masks are akin to titles or positions that are passed down between different people, somewhat akin to how “crowns” and “kings” work

— in this case, sampo would either be currently in line for this power, formerly in line for this power, or has actually been in power but abdicated or otherwise lost/gave up/moved on from his position

— this could be natural or otherwise

note: this does not have to be solely for aha, this kind of power transfer could work for other high-ranking positions like emanator or organization leader

🎭 sampo "this price was too steep..." koski

— got a bit cocky and wagered his aeonhood

— is now in a Not Great position

sampo "i hate owing people things" koski

— owes aha one

— does not like owing people things

— doing whatever he needs to cancel out the debt

🎭 sampo "i was crazy back then lol" koski

— the universe’s idea of aha writ large is based on an outdated version of their personality

— this always annoys sampo because he has to be constantly reminded of his insane college days before he mellowed out

— the type to reminisce over wine and say “yeah that worm thing was wild. i was crazy back then huh”

🎭 sampo "committed to the bit" koski

— one of my personal favorites

— became mortal as a joke

— ended up liking it a little too much

— doesn’t really want to go back

sampo "worm on a string" koski

— what is a man if not just another omniscient worm destined for tragedy?

— he’s a puppet, basically

— & he just gets wormed around like he’s on a string

— hence the name

— another one of aha’s classic cosmic jokes

🎭 sampo "one of many" koski

— ties into my split consciousness theory

— aha split their personality into multiple people (either as a joke or for a bigger reason) and sampo is one of those pieces

🎭 sampo "yeah i heard aha was super cool and hot and sexy and smart and did i mention sexy" koski

— big fan of the rumor mill

— can’t help but try to win people over to the elation even when he’s supposed to be laying low

— he’s not fooling anyone. just yesterday serval watched him laugh until he cried because a kid dropped their ice cream. he is not slick

🎭 sampo "reverted to babey" koski

— someway, somehow, aha got reverted back to who they were before they ascended to aeonhood

— now sampo is just really fucking confused (and annoyed because mortal life is pretty annoying)

sampo "character creation screen" koski

— aha just had a silly goofy lil day & wanted to create a guy

— so they did

— sampo acts as a kind of controlled character who’s self-aware about his position as a playable character

— or alternatively he was turned loose with no purpose scaramouche-style and is now just fucking around doing whatever

sampo "failed clone" koski

— obligatory clone theory

— aha tried to clone themself. it wasn’t as funny as they wanted

— sampo is the result

— aha realizing sampo was a bit of a buzzkill: “i don’t want to play with you anymore”

🎭 sampo "vicarious existence" koski

— part of the split consciousness theory

— aha sectioned off or created a part of themself that can live in a way they can’t (i.e. have free will beyond the elation)

— similar to the focalors/furina situation in genshin

sampo "trojan horse" koski

— is his own person, under the impression he has free will, but is being used as an unknowing vehicle for eventual Big Aha Moment

🎭 sampo "can't remember shit" koski

— he forgor :((

— used to be aha but doesn’t know that

— most likely erased his own memory in order to accomplish a planned endgame

🎭 sampo "you don't wanna see me when i transform" koski

— dual consciousness theory

— sampo koski as a human is much more rational and reasonable than eldritch-form aha

— sampo likes to stay as sampo as much as possible because he doesn’t like what he becomes when he changes forms

— may lead to a tragic arc where, in order to defend belobog, he reverts to his aeonic form knowing he won’t be able to transform back

sampo "lmao got you" koski

— all signs pointing towards aeon or emanator status are red herrings

— he’s just really good at gaslighting to get what he wants

sampo "whoops i got attached" koski

— fucked off to belobog for whatever reason

— got surprisingly attached

— belobog now has an extremely powerful entity/protector without even knowing it

— “it’s just a weird insane little place. very charming” — sampo, probably

🎭 sampo "elias bouchard" koski

— just a shell for aha, jonah magnus style

— used to be his own person, but got yoinked along the way

🎭 sampo "5d mind chess" koski

— knows exactly what he’s been doing from the beginning

— strategic placement on belobog to meet the trailblazer

— has done a damn good job of coming off as “normal pathetic scammer mcgee” to distract from larger plans

🎭 sampo "just like everyone else" koski

— for whatever reason, aha is insistent that they be treated just like any other member of the masked fools; same rules, same hierarchy, everything

— this results in everyone looking at him weirdly but not saying anything and trying to strike up casual conversation with their literal aeon

sampo "gimme your eldritch money" koski

— the final form of scammers everywhere

— he’s scammed everyone he possibly can, and now there’s only one thing left: to scam an aeon

— chooses aha + the masked fools because there’s a good chance he’ll get stuff just because aha is amused with him

— tries to link aha up with a pyramid scheme

sampo "you should see me in a crown" koski

— either on a delusional self-confident power trip or gunning for aha’s power

— can be aha, emanator, or other high-ranking position, but aha works the best if sampo wants to go all the way up the ladder

— thinks he’s the best ever and can never fail, pairs well with “5d mind chess” sampo like fine wine

— drunk on power/worship

🎭 sampo "wine aunt" koski

— also known as sampo "washed up aeon" koski

— he’s out of the limelight, whether that means he passed on his power, had it taken from him in a free for all, or just wants to retire, and now he’s kicking back with a margarita and enthralling the belobog locals with “hypothetical” scenarios that are actually crazy mind-bending stories from his glory days

— he’s not as great as he used to be, nor does he have the power of a full-fledged aeon anymore, but belobog appreciates him all the same (goes hand in hand with sampo "just like everyone else" koski)

— “geez yeah, ix is so annoying. such a buzzkill, really, that guy even hates knock-knock jokes. i mean, who hates knock-knock jokes? … hypothetically, of course.” — sampo, probably

🎭 sampo "zhongli the funeral consultant" koski

— aha is secretly “dead” but no one knows

— perhaps the masked fools know, but either way sampo has either already faked his death, is currently doing it, or is planning to in the future

— he just wants to retire man, and if that means he has to “fall” then so be it

sampo "just a silly guy" koski

— there is actually nothing special to this man at all

— he’s just a guy. just a silly little guy

— aha is laughing at all of us for even making theories about him

sampo "aha jr." koski

— sampo is a doll created by aha like in the simulated universe occurrence, having the same appearance as aha’s human form and sharing personality & path attributes

— most likely wants to break away from the elation’s influence but doesn’t know how

— views aha as a really fucked up dad

sampo "oh my god i'm in a cult" koski

— raised in the masked fools, didn’t realize how batshit insane they were until a Formative Traumatic Event occurred and he went “oh.. oh no…..”

— estranged from most of the members but still deals with them in the way you do when you hate your family but have to put up with them at holiday dinners

— maybe got to a high position of power before, but left when he realized it wasn’t good for him

sampo "partners in crime" koski

— him & aha are friends, besties even

— knows the risks of working with an aeon but can’t say no when that much money is involved

🎭 sampo "for funsies" koski

— if aha can give the entire universe’s knowledge to a worm for fun, then by god they can give all of their power and aeonhood to a silly little guy randomly for no reason whatsoever (especially if he doesn’t want it)

— constantly fighting against increasingly powerful eldritch control

— “young god”

— canon in my heart

sampo "reality tv" koski

— part of the vicarious emanator theory

— aha gave him all their power and basically watches him like a reality show

— *pokes sampo with a stick* “hey why aren’t you doing anything” — aha, probably

— constant voyeurism

sampo "communism" koski

— part of the dual consciousness and vicarious emanator theories

— one of aha’s emanators that they share their entire path with

— “our” power

— perhaps some sort of memory or consciousness sharing

sampo "horse girl" koski

— “but your dream is to be an emanator”

— “no that’s your dream dad, not mine”

🎭 sampo "aeons anonymous" koski

— aeon in rehabilitation

— wants to start a former aeon support group

🎭 sampo "power receptacle" koski

— in which the masks function as the true “aha” and sampo has given them up or put them away for safekeeping

— “sparkle please please i’m so serious just let me put it back on once. no seriously only once i promise i won’t go insane like last time i’ll be so normal it’ll only be for five minutes please” — sampo, probably

sampo "one-sided hate boner" koski

— man absolutely hates aha (probably for backstory reasons)

— aha doesn’t care at best and at worst thinks it’s really really funny

— “you burned my house to the ground!”

— “🤷”

— “my family is dead!”

— “🤷”

— bonus points if aha makes him an emanator or something

sampo "significant annoyance" koski

— dedicated to being as annoying as possible to aha, whether out of spite, a vendetta, or sheer interest

— aha finds this funny so they let him stick around

— “he graffitied my mask with a bunch of dicks and it took me years to get it off. isn’t he just the greatest little guy?” — aha, probably

sampo "god's silliest soldier" koski

— aha gives their hardest battles to their silliest soldiers

— and that is sampo

sampo "true wild card" koski

— he’s not aha, an emanator, or any higher status

— he is quite literally just That Good as a regular human being

🎭 sampo "cosmic irony" koski

— “man, it sure would suck to be aha the aeon of elation. glad i don’t have to deal with that. i love being mortal”

— “🎭🎉👀”

— “HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE”

sampo "cult leader" koski

— humility is a facade

— “lines” he won’t cross are a facade

— everything is for the purpose of appearing like the perfect leader (or candidate for leader)

— secretly the most insane out of anyone

sampo "secret agent man" koski

— doing aha’s bidding willingly

— a goon. a henchman even

sampo "tainted love" koski

— aha isn’t the most healthy person to be around, on account of the ten billion cosmic torments jokes they throw around on a daily basis

— guinea pig sampo is TIRED

sampo "sacrificial lamb" koski

— may or may not be aware of his sacrificial status

— created or being manipulated into a position where he becomes collateral for aha doing whatever the fuck they wanna do

sampo "impromptu therapist" koski

— the receiver of many rants and complaints unrelated to him within the masked fools

— becomes the “advice friend” even though this man should never be trusted for reliable advice

— but surprisingly he is the most reliable within the masked fools

sampo "sanest masked fool" koski

— just a long-suffering member of an organization whose followers are some of the most insane people you’ll ever meet

— permanent eye bags for having to put up with them

🎭 sampo "michael distortion" koski

— he was a regular guy once, but ended up absorbing aha’s eldritch power one way or another

— potential assimilation into one form

— aha didn’t expect the joke to joke back

sampo "court jester" koski

— similar to "ceaseless watcher's special little boy"

— the king’s (aha’s) favorite little jester

— and also they make out sometimes

— has a semblance of protection afforded to him by being the favorite (he uses this to his advantage)

— “jester’s privilege”

sampo "try me" koski

— aha is physically keeping tabs on the trailblazer

— sampo is too, but only to swat aha’s hand away like a kid reaching into a cookie jar

— usually a mad dash to see who gets there first

— leads to many situations where they make tense eye contact across the street or smth

— subsists off of pure spite & annoyance

🎭 sampo "favored of humanity" koski

— aha is one of the aeons closest with humanity, and has such developed a more “mortal” frame of mind over time

— eventually if you spend enough time around mortals you might just turn back into one

🎭 sampo "hedonist" koski

— why is he doing any of this? who knows

— who can possibly understand the machinations of what an aeon finds funny

— eldritch humor beyond our comprehension

🎭 sampo "cosplayer extraordinaire" koski

— “so this is my humansona his name is sampo koski he likes scamming people and has slutty slutty hip windows”

— likes to stay in character as much as possible

— kinda like playing a dnd character 24/7

sampo "long-suffering host" koski

— somewhat dual consciousness theory

— aha is just up there, and sampo has to listen to their annoying ass constantly

— can be a joke, chill possession scenario, or necessity for aha due to external circumstances

— may be a side effect of emanator status, or may just be another Classic Cosmic Joke™

sampo "unwilling hierophant" koski

— informercial: how would YOU like to receive PERSONAL and INCESSANT psychic messages from eldritch forces beyond your comprehension?

— “geez ew no”

— infomercial: is that a YES?

— “no”

— infomercial: thank you for signing up for our FREE TRIAL service!

— “wait no”

— infomercial: text "NO PLEASE STOP NO" to 69420 to UNSUBSCRIBE from the Laughter’s FREE psychic telepathy service

— “NO PLEASE STOP NO”

— phone: thank you for subscribing to our LIFETIME PLAN of FREE, UNCEASING, TORMENTING visions from AHA THE ELATION. please enjoy your COMPLIMENTARY descent into insanity!

— “god fucking damnit”

sampo "vacant apartment" koski

— possession receptacle that’s no longer in use and is left up to his own devices

sampo "moved to iceland and became a sheep herder" koski

— living off the grid

— only came back because something bad is gonna happen to belobog

— can be aha, emanator, or other high-ranking position

🎭 sampo "undercover boss" koski

— keeping tabs on the masked fools because they’re fanatical

— “what the hell guys this is not what i want” — sampo, probably

— they say or do something and he’s just like “not funny. didn’t laugh”

— y’know when people say “if jesus came down to earth, he’d be disappointed at what people are doing in his name” — yea that’s sampo but like for real

— damage control

☆━━━━━ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☾ ◯ ☽₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ ━━━━━━☆

#⌞ ✎ sunder.writes ⌝#⌞ ✧ super.nova ⌝#⌞ 🎭 ⌝#sampo #sampo koski #aha!sampo #emanator!sampo #hsr #honkai star rail #honkai: star rail #sampo hsr #sampo honkai #hsr sampo #honkai star rail sampo

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