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menofchaos · 2 months

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Coco

Note: Third time I'm trying to send this out! I missed sleep to write this, which usually means it'll end up being one of my favorites like the Vegas story. I do have more of this written, so please let me know if anyone would be interested! This is the first installment of Coco x museum! reader. Picture credit goes to @richardcabralofficial on ig & divider credit goes to @spideyspeaches. Enjoy!

Coco lit a cigarette as he walked down the sunny streets of downtown San Diego, Angel and Gilly planning their evening of bar hopping. They decided to head down to the beach for a long weekend, a getaway from the pressures of Santo Padre.

“Damn, that’s a big ass building.”

“Ain’t this the museum you wanted to go to?” Angel asked.

EZ nodded, “Yeah at some point. You guys don’t have to come in.”

The four of them turned down the street toward the entrance and Gilly laughed, “Oh I’m definitely going.”

Angel frowned, “You wanna go to a museum? You good, homie?”

“If all the chicks in the museum look like that? Fuck yeah, I do,” he scoffed and nodded over at the museum steps.

They all looked up to see two men in suits talking to a woman, her long curly hair flowing gently in the wind as she laughed. Coco’s eyes widened when he saw ink covering her throat, bright acrylics on her tattooed hands. His eyes followed her curves, covered up by her professional attire. He licked his lips when he heard Angel mumble, “Damn.”

EZ shook his head, “I didn’t mean we had to go now.”

“What better time than the present, boy scout?” Gilly smirked, “You guys in?”

Angel looked over at Coco, who shrugged, “Why not?”

“Alright,” Gilly clapped, “Think she dresses like that all the time?”

“She’s way out of your league,” Angel snorted, shaking his head as they crossed the street.

“You think you have a better chance?” Gilly arched an eyebrow.

Coco laughed, “You two gonna bet again? Since it went so well last time.”

Both men glared at him before going back to arguing over who would ask her out. The men in suits walked away and the woman turned to see the four of them heading up the stairs.

“Welcome,” she smiled and opened the door, “Ticket counter is to your left, let me know if you have any questions about the exhibits.”

Gilly looked her over slowly, “Thanks mami. I do have a question. Are you the exhibit?”

She laughed politely, “No, I’m not.”

“Too bad, I can’t stop staring,” he winked, heading inside.

“All these artifacts and I can’t take my eyes off you,” Angel smirked and followed him in.

EZ shook his head, “I’m sorry about them, it’s their first day in public.”

Coco took off his sunglasses as she laughed, “It’s all good, I’ve heard worse,” she closed the door behind them, “Enjoy the museum,” she winked at Coco before a younger employee called her over.

Coco watched her walk off, hips swaying. Gilly and Angel were still quietly bickering over her. While they were distracted, he took a few steps toward where she stood with another woman wearing a regular museum uniform. The woman went into the exhibit and she turned to Coco.

“Can I help you?” she asked him.

“Just wanted to apologize again for my brothers,” he told her, “They’re harmless.”

She smiled, “That’s sweet, thank you. Like I said, I’ve had way worse pick up lines than that. I was a little bummed I didn’t hear one from you, though,” she admitted.

Coco’s eyes widened and he smiled, “Oh yeah?”

She nodded, “See if it was more original than your brothers,” she teased.

He laughed softly, “They didn’t exactly get creative, did they?”

“No but at least they didn’t say they’d nail me to the wall,” she shivered slightly in disgust, “That one grosses me out.”

He shook his head, “I wouldn’t have let them get away with that one.”

“What’s your name?” she asked.

“Coco,” he held a hand out to her, “Yours?”

She introduced herself and shook his hand, “I guess you wouldn’t let them get away with that, would you, boogeyman?”

His eyes lit up, “You know that story?”

She smiled, “Of course,” she scanned the patches on his leather. Coco held his breath for a moment, waiting for her to dismiss him, “Santo Padre? What brings you to San Diego?”

“We wanted to get out of the desert for a few days,” he murmured, “Hang out at the beach.”

“That’s why I live here, so I can be on the beach whenever,” she smiled, “How long are you in town for?”

“Till Tuesday,” he bit his lip, willing his heart to slow down.

She nodded, holding his gaze for a moment, “So, you got a line?”

He shook his head, “No lines,” he licked his lips, “But I’d love to take you out later.”

She smiled, “I can’t tonight but I’ll take your number and call you tomorrow?” she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

Coco recited his number to her, smirking when he glanced over to see Gilly and Angel glaring at him. She nodded, “I’ll see you soon?” she took a few steps back, smiling.

“See you soon,” he smiled slowly, his eyes on hers.

She giggled and turned down a hallway, out of his sight. He rejoined the other guys.

“What just happened?” Angel asked, “You get her number?”

He shook his head, “Gave her mine. Thanks for making me look good,” he smirked as EZ handed him a ticket, “Thanks, bro.”

“Motherfucker,” Gilly swore, “You’re such a dick.”

After the museum, the four of them headed to dinner, then a bar on the beach. They stood around a pool table, EZ and Angel against Coco and Gilly.

“I still can’t believe you snaked her from me,” Gilly shook his head.

“You don’t have a claim on her, homie,” he smirked, taking a sip of beer.

“You come on too aggressive, bro,” Angel said.

EZ snorted, “You weren’t much better.”

Angel scoffed, “I wasn’t as bad as him!”

“All I did was give her my number,” Coco watched Gilly take his turn, “It’s not like I stole your girlfriend or some shit.”

Coco was in the middle of his turn when a loud cheer erupted behind him. He looked over his shoulder to see a high top all holding their drinks up, laughing.

“Wait, isn’t that her?”

Coco grinned when he saw her sitting at the high top, a pink margarita in her hand and a relaxed smile on her face. She caught his gaze and she smiled wider, waving at him. He held up a finger, turning back to finish his turn, “It is.”

He sunk two balls and missed the third, setting his cue down when he heard, “Lord have mercy. Look at that.”

All thought left his mind when he saw her heading toward him. She had forgone her professional attire, a longer asymmetrical skirt with a button up and blazer, for a tight black and white dress that hit mid thigh. Her long curled were tied up in a ponytail, two braids nestled among the strands. Her darker lipstick made him want to smear it.

“Hi,” she smiled.

“Hey,” he murmured, “You look beautiful.”

She giggled shyly, “Thank you. This is a coincidence.”

“Your plans for the night?” he asked, glancing at the table that was not so subtly spying on her.

She nodded, “College friends in town for the night. We’re going to the beach tomorrow before their flight leaves.”

Coco smirked, “We’re going to the beach too. The one down the road.”

“So are we,” she laughed, “Another coincidence.”

“Or fate,” he suggested, failing to keep himself from checking her out.

She felt butterflies under his gaze, “Could be. I gotta get back but how about this? If you find me at the beach tomorrow, you can take me out to dinner.”

His eyes lit up at the challenge. Between his military training and club antics, he knew he could meet it, “I’m down. See you tomorrow, ma.”

“See you tomorrow,” she kissed his cheek softly, walking back to her group. He couldn’t stop smirking the rest of the night.

Coco sat down on a lounge chair between Angel and Gilly, “Why the fuck do we stay in the desert when we could be here?” he asked as Angel passed him the blunt.

Angel laughed, “We should convince Alvarez to start a San Diego charter.”

“Coco just wants to be near his new girl,” Gilly opened a beer.

“You still bitching about that?” Coco arched an eyebrow, “How many chicks are out here, go pick up one up if you got that much game.”

“Oh now you got game?” Gilly asked, “With that crooked ass nose.”

Coco passed the blunt to EZ, retort on his tongue when his phone lit up with an unknown number. He opened it to find a picture of her smiling, sunglasses covering her eyes and her long hair tied up in a messy bun. He could only see from her shoulders up, a table with beer pong set up in the background. It was accompanied by a text.

I’m here! Ready for your mission?

He smirked, typing out, ‘Mission accepted’ before standing up, “Well you fuckers can keep playing with each other, I’m going to get a date.”

EZ grinned, “Good luck, bro.”

Coco fist bumped him, “Good luck with these two,” he joked and grabbed his phone and cigarettes, sliding his sunglasses on as he walked up to the top of the sand. He remembered the size of her group the night before and knew they wouldn’t be that hard to spot. He checked the picture again, his heart skipping a beat at her smile. Another text came in as he tried to study the background for clues.

No clues but I do have a drink waiting for you

He noticed rocks behind her and scanned the beach, grinning when he saw a cliff to his left. He walked down to the water, taking his time to smoke a cigarette as he made his way over. A large blue canopy with a long table under it was set up next to the cliff, coolers and bags scattered around towels and blankets set up on the ground. He swore under his breath when he spotted her in nothing but a black and green two piece, a drink in each hand. Tattoos covered both arms and curled around her long legs, a few on her back and sides. She was talking to two other women, one in a pink one piece and the other covered by an oversized white t shirt and men’s swimming trunks. Four guys stood at either end of the beer pong table in different colored bathing suits. He walked up, ignoring the looks the guys gave him as he tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and grinned.

“Coco!” she leaned in to kiss his cheek, “That didn’t take nearly as long as I expected.”

He laughed, “I was a Marine, baby.”

“That’s not fair,” she pouted, “Here’s a beer if you want it. Let me introduce you to everyone,” she offered him the bottle.

“Sure, thank you,” he took it and followed her around the tent, shaking hands with everyone. They all went to college together, getting picked up and invited in by others in the friend group. They used to be a bigger group, she explained, but fights, moves and break ups splintered the group until it was the remaining seven of them. She hung back with him as the guys kept playing, one white boy, Dan or Dave or something, glancing at him often with a glare.

“Your friend in the green doesn’t like me that much,” he teased a few minutes later.

She looked over at the canopy and sighed, “He claims he’s protective, but he’s not like that about anyone else. He’s just one of those white knight guys.”

“White knight guys?” he frowned.

“Yeah, if I do something he thinks could hurt me, he acts concerned for my well being but he just has feelings for me and gets jealous,,” she explained, “He did the same thing in college when he found out I was dancing.”

He arched an eyebrow, “Dancing?”

She nodded, looking up at him, “I didn’t come from a good family or anything, so I had to pay my own way through college. I got some scholarships but it didn’t cover everything so I started stripping to help pay my bills and shit,” he watched her as she spoke, knowing this was a test of his reaction.

“That’s smart, you probably made bank,” he winked.

A smile lit up her face, satisfied in his response, “You know I did. No student loans for me.”

White Knight Dan/Dave called her over for her turn but she declined, telling him she’d play later. His disappointment was visible, tossing another glare Coco’s way as he went back to the game.

Coco smirked, “Damn, I’m making all kinds of enemies talking to you.”

She took a sip of her beer, “Who else?”

“My homie’s still mad,” he laughed.

“Tell him if he can find it in his heart to forgive you, I have a bunch of hot, single friends I can introduce him to,” she offered.

He laughed softly, “That might do it, thanks mami.”

#mayans imagine #coco cruz imagine #coco cruz #johnny coco cruz #coco x reader #mayans mc

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emeraldelysian · 1 year

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Moon Byulyi ✧ A Fine Taste

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Pairing: Moon Byulyi x Reader

Genre: Smut

Synopsis: With the late and disheveled arrival of your date, you are easily unimpressed by his demeanor and language. However, his lack of presence allowed you to engage in a flirtation with a woman across the bar- leading to heavenly wonders in the bar bathroom.

Wordcount: 2.6K+

Warnings: Brian’s lowkey homophobic, all my homies hate Brian; Reader has F. Anatomy; Bathroom Sex; Eating Out; Fingering; Praise Kink; Exhibitionist; Cum Eating

Note: This is honestly one of the best things I’ve ever written; Moonbyul is so hot in this and I don’t know if y’all will survive.

♡︎ follow, provide feedback, or reblog if you enjoyed but please don't repost or translate!♡︎

MDNI, 18+ CONTENT

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“Sorry I'm late,” he says.

As he briskly removes his jacket and shakes the rain from his hair, droplets fling onto the white tablecloth. A few land in the half-empty breadbasket, the contents of which are no longer steaming as they had been when the waiter first brought it to the table.

“I’m Brian,” he says, extending his hand to you.

You scoff, rolling your eyes at the gesture—a bit too proper for someone who couldn’t even be bothered to account for the weather in rush hour traffic. Not to mention that he was interrupting wherever the night had been headed with the beautiful stranger at the bar, the one you had been eye-fucking the whole time you’d been waiting for him.

You shake Brian’s outreached hand anyway, hoping he doesn’t mistake the flush in your cheeks and cold sweat on your palms as a side effect of his presence.

“Y/N,” you say. For one horrific moment when he hesitates, you suspect he might bring your fingers to his lips, oblivious to your annoyance. Much to your relief, he releases his grip and narrows his eyes at the open bottle of wine chilling in an ice bucket between you both instead.

His brow arches. “Oh,” he says, frowning at the centerpiece, digging his wallet out of his pocket. “I see you’ve helped yourself. Not too expensive for a first date, I hope?”

It’s not just his words, but the screech of the chair and the stench of cheap cologne that makes you wrinkle your nose.

You don’t miss the way the brunette’s attention keeps drifting back to your table, her gaze flickering between you and your intruder.

You stifle a laugh. You weren’t invested in being set up with her mother’s colleague's son. But you do find it a little funny, now that he’s finally here, that he’s intruding on his own date.

Your admirer is clearly still interested, setting her sights now on your bare legs. Sucking in a breath, you steel yourself before crossing your knees. Your fingers twitch, but you fight the instinct to stop your skirt from rising to the side where the slit reveals your thigh.

“You’re in the clear,” You say, doing nothing to hide the sarcasm dripping from your tone. “It was a gift.”

His unkempt brows disappear behind his fringe. “Someone you know?”

Not yet.

“Nope,” you reply, folding your arms, pointer finger tapping against your bicep.

He waits for you to elaborate.

Cocking your head to the side, you opt for playing dumb instead.

“Well, I guess we owe our mysterious onlooker a thank you,” he remarks after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

“My,” You correct.

His lips press together in a tight line. “What?”

“You were nowhere to be found,” you remind him. “So she is my mysterious onlooker, no?”

His pupils dilate, jaw unclenching. “She?”

You stiffen and nod, loathing how much you can anticipate his next response.

“Well, I guess I have nothing to worry about then.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” you counter, sighing at his baffled expression, “I’m not only into men.”

It takes a few seconds for your words to sink in and then, “Oh!” His face brightens, morphing into one of delight, as he glances around the restaurant, like a dog sniffing out his new favorite toy.

“Would you-”

“I need to use the ladies' room,” you snap, cutting off what was sure to be another request for a threesome from a straight man.

It’s not that you have anything against them- threesomes, or straight men in general. But you certainly won’t be entertaining anything with this one anytime soon, alone or with a partner.

Brian’s mouth opens and closes like a gaping fish washed up on the shore. You might have thought he was mildly handsome under different circumstances, but with the mere 5 minutes of his initial presentation, you were already tired of interacting with him.

You straighten your spine and walk tall away from your table. Your neck tingles as you pass the brunette woman, who is still nursing the same glass of whiskey, and her entourage. The sting of her eyes tracking your trajectory prickles every inch of your exposed skin.

You hasten into the bathroom and blow out a deep breath once inside. You blink at your reflection, fixing your appearance. Your palms linger, caressing and squeezing, imagining another pair of hands covering your own.

You could leave if you wanted. Just scrawl your number on a paper towel for your new crush and then sneak out the back. Then start a nice warm bath once back in your apartment, teasing yourself with your favorite vibrator. Dragging out your orgasm until you cum, fantasizing about those sunlit locks tangled through your fingers and soft rose kisses between your thighs.

Your mother would be livid for ditching Brian, making it all the more tempting.

With a sigh, you run the cold water into the sink, but just as you’re about to splash your flushed face, the door swings open, startling you. You glance up at the door through the mirror, the coffee-eyed beauty in holding eye contact with you as the door clicks shut behind her.

“Hello,” she says, calm and sweet with a soft hum of approval as her gaze lowers a fraction and your nipples harden beneath her stare.

Momentarily forgetting how to speak, your mouth snaps shut. The other woman’s lips curl into a soft grin, closing the distance to lean around you and turn off the faucet.

“I’m Moon Byulyi, but you can call me Moonbyul,” she says, resting her hip against the counter, tugging her brown locks to one side to expose her neck, and angling her body towards you in the process. Your breath hitches, as you imagine running your fingers down Moonbyul’s clavicle.

You swallow. “Hi,” you say. Moonbyul arches a brow with such precision that you’re convinced she must have practiced that look at least a dozen times before. You clear your throat before adding, “I’m Y/N.”

“Hi, Y/N,” she murmurs, as a lover might from between the sheets. “It’s nice to meet you.” She doesn’t reach out to take her hand. Instead, she seems to be waiting for your next move.

You wipe your palms on your dress, before wriggling them together. “You have a fine taste,” you murmur and immediately regret it. Moonbyul’s eyes light up, teeth sinking into her ruby-painted lip to stifle her laughter. “-in wine!” You finish quickly, blood rushing to your cheeks again.

There’s a startling contrast between how controlled you are when men fawn over you, to how quickly you are reduced to a pool of mush when you’re caught in the sights of a pretty lady. Moonbyul licks her lips and all at once, the only thing you can focus on is how her mouth looks as inviting and red and sweet as the wine poured into your glass, empty and abandoned at the table.

Along with your date.

There must be something in your expression that’s easy to read, because the next thing Moonbyul says is, “How long before you need to get back?”

You could tell her that you’re already planning an escape route, maybe even invite Moonbyul to come home with you. But the low huskiness of Moonbyul’s voice and the flash of danger in her eyes spark your curiosity past the point of no return. How far would you be willing to go here?

Your heart quickens, as you lift your chin and muster up the courage to say, “However long it takes.”

Moonbyul’s eyes widen a fraction, apparently taken aback by this sudden forwardness. You wonder if you’ve made an awful mistake.

You aren’t left wondering for long.

Time speeds up. One moment your feet are steady on the floor and the next your backside is pressed up against the sink while ridiculously soft fingers roam your torso, reaching upwards to trace your jaw, asking for permission. You release a shuddering breath and words escape you, before you’re frantically nodding into the kiss, hands skimming up Moonbyul’s silk blouse to knead her warm flesh.

You swallow Moonbyul’s moan as she moves to ruck up your navy dress. “Can I-”

“If you don’t, I will,” you admit.

Moonbyul beams at you and she melts into a puddle under your touch. “Up,” she commands and then adds, teasingly, “I want to see how fine my taste is.”

You bury your face in Moonbyul’s neck, sucking a mark onto her pulse point and nipping at her shoulder before obeying, hopping up onto the counter. A strangled gasp leaves your mouth when your bare skin hits the cool metal.

Moonbyul shushes you, a gentle, “I got you,” passing her lips, breath tickling her chin.

Your stomach swoops as Moonbyul glides between your legs. She tugs the dip of your dress down like she’s unwrapping a present and swirls her tongue around your nipple like it’s her favorite flavor of ice cream.

You hiss at the sudden scrape of her teeth. “Wait-”

Moonbyul stills, instantly pulling back to check you over. “What’s wrong?”

“The door-” you pant. “Is it locked?”

Moonbyul’s smile is predatory. “Maybe,” she hedges, “if you want it to be.” Her lips brush against your ear. “But isn’t it hotter, not knowing if that inconsiderate boyfriend of yours will come barreling through here only to find my tongue buried deep in your cunt?”

Your moan is feral and yeah, maybe you should explain that Brian is most definitely not your boyfriend, but you’re not going to ruin this moment.

Your eyes meet again, mouth tumbling after. Moonbyul’s determination rolls off of her in waves, searching every inch of your skin, latching onto whatever sensitive flesh will make you shudder and gasp. Moonbyul rolls one of your nipples between her forefinger and thumb, sucking the other into her mouth with kitten licks and nips.

“You’re not playing fair,” you mutter, as Moonbyul draws her lips away with a pop, rewarding you with a seductive smirk.

“I don’t like rules.” The confession rolls off her tongue like it’s the world’s dirtiest secret. “But I do like keeping track of the ones I break.”

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” you groan while arching her back as Moonbyul slides your soaked lace panties down your legs and stuffs them into her purse.

“I’ll make up for it later,” she promises, the implication alone sending a thrill up your spine. Moonbyul sinks down to the floor. “Spread your legs for me, love.”

Your head drops back and hits the mirror at the words. The ghost of a kiss finds the inside of your knee.

“That’s it,” Moonbyul cues. Her praise does wonders to your body, sending a shiver straight to your clit. You briefly wonder if this is the work of some benevolent goddess, given that you were praying for this exact scenario not five minutes earlier.

You’ll worry about which religion to convert to later.

You look down just in time to catch Moonbyul in the act of sliding two fingers past her lips, sucking and coating them in spit. It’s probably not necessary, given that you’re practically vibrating with arousal, but Moonbyul makes a show of it and she’s such a pretty picture like this.

Hell, you’re not going to stop her.

Moonbyul’s smile is coy when she catches you ogling her like she knows all the filthy thoughts running through your mind.

“Relax,” she says between quick breaths as she presses in closer. You grip Moonbyul’s free hand. Moonbyul flips it over lacing your fingers together, causing your heart to halt and stutter against her. “We’re both going to enjoy this.”

Moonbyul’s nose brushes up against your clit, breathing you in and sending small puffs of air over your center. Then, she pauses, leaving you wanting for a moment. She waits right up until you begin to squirm until a soft please leaves your lips. And then, as if that’s what she was waiting for, one long finger slips inside you with ease, the familiar pressure causing your eyes to roll back.

It’s been too long since anyone has done this for you.

Moonbyul presses a chaste kiss to your clit before diving her tongue between your folds, humming and vibrating against you. You are up the wall with need, each new sensation igniting a white fire in your veins. She explores your cunt just like she explored the rest of you, thoroughly mapping your entire body with her mouth and tongue, and fingers.

Moonbyul drags this out until you are dripping and pleading for her to return her attention to that bundle of nerves, before sliding another finger inside, curling at the knuckles, and playing your pleasure spot like a piano key. She learns fast, discovering where to apply more pressure each time you let out the most embarrassing noises, and exactly how much it takes to make you sing. Your toes curl as Moonbyul finds that sweet spot again and again.

“Hush,” Moonbyul murmurs from above your clit, causing you to jerk against Moonbyul’s mouth. “You don’t want anyone bursting in here to check on us now, do you?” You involuntarily clench down on her fingers and you feel Moonbyul’s smirk sweep across your inner thigh. “Or perhaps you do, naughty girl.”

With those words echoing in your mind, your orgasm builds inside you. Every thrust of Moonbyul’s fingers and every twist of her tongue brings you closer to release.

You thread your fingers through Moonbyul’s hair as delicately you can manage, but when they tighten and tug in spite of your care, Moonbyul’s movements grow more eager. She rolls her tongue harder against your clit, crooking her knuckles deeper.

There’s a sharp knock on the door and you gasp; the jump sends you right over the edge. You tighten and snap, riding out your orgasm on Moonbyul’s face, biting your fist to muffle your screams. Your vision whites out and your legs shake. Moonbyul slows her pace, gently licking around your folds as you come down from your high.

The deep voices behind the door grow louder and more urgent. You nearly panic but Moonbyul takes care of it. She pulls away far enough to shout, “Just give us a minute, we’re dealing with some girly issues if you catch my drift.”

You might have laughed if she weren’t so exhausted.

Once the footsteps fade away, Moonbyul rests her head against your thigh, looking through her lashes. “You good?” she asks softly.

You nod and smile back at her, standing to help Moonbyul fix her suit. You think about asking for your panties back but decide it would be better to save it as an excuse to see Moonbyul again.

You hop down and reach for Moonbyul’s hand, stilling yourself. “Will I be able to return the favor?”

Moonbyul cocks her head, licking the taste of you from the seam of her lips. You try not to, but you can’t help the shiver that travels up your spine at the sight.

“Is that your way of asking for my number?” Moonbyul asks, coy.

Hesitating only a moment, you reply, “Actually I was asking if you’d like to come home with me.”

Moonbyul's smooth brow creases, eyes widening. “That’s rather bold of you.”

You bite your cheek to keep from snorting. “Not nearly as bold as fucking another person’s date on a public bathroom counter.”

“That’s fair.” She hums. “You’re going to break that poor boy’s heart, you know.”

Your nose wrinkles. “Doubtful, we’d only just met.”

“So did we,” Moonbyul counters.

You lean forward, lacing your fingers with hers. “And do I have the power to break your heart, Byulie?”

Moonbyul catches her grin between her teeth.

“I think I’d like to find out, love.”

#mamamoo #mamamoo smut #moonbyul #moon byulyi #mamamoo moonbyul #moonbyul smut #mamamoo x reader #mamamoo imagines #mamamoo scenarios #mamamoo reactions #moonbyul x reader #moonbyul imagine #kpop smut #girl group smut #wlw #wlw smut #sapphic smut #nblw smut #emerald smut ✧

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harlowsbby · 2 years

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What about an imagine about best friends y/n and urban where they both have a crush on each other, they go out and she is a little curvy and in front of them there’s a skinnier girl walking in front of them. Y/n thinks he’s cheking the girl out but he says smth like that’s not my type, y/n and brings her closer and traces her hips whispering she’s his type

Cozy

You had confidence a lot of confidence is what people would tell for a thicker and curvier girl, growing up you always hated how things fitted on you or didn’t look as good on you as they did on the models.

You’ve been on serval diets all of them failing after a few weeks or months you just lost motivation or skipped the gym once and never went back. There was only one person in this world who always made you feel beautiful in your skin and that was your best friend Urban Wyatt.

Urban was always there to hype you up and to always make you feel beautiful he always captured your best sides when taking pictures of you and it’s something you loved and appreciated very much.

Today was the 3rd annual celebrity kickball tournament the homies held one every year to raise money for the children’s hospitals in Kentucky.

You knew half the girls there would be wearing practically nothing compared to you which made you frustrated and you knew Urban would most definitely be looking at them all. You’ve had the biggest crush on Urban you just loved how sweet and patient he was with his family and friends and how he always took time out of his day to spend hours on the phone with you even when he was busy on the road with Jack.

Maybe you were just a hopeless romantic who fell for anybody that gave you the slightest bit of affection but who cares Urban was your man, but you weren’t his girl at least not yet.

You were interrupted from your thoughts by who you assumed was Urban at the door.

“You ready to go ma? We got to meet everyone there in about twenty minutes.” That nickname how could something so common and basic make you feel so weak and send butterflies throughout your entire body you had no idea but this effect Urban knew nothing about had you in a chokehold.

You decided on black leggings and a cropped t-shirt that had team private garden written on the back and Urban wore red shorts with his white t-shirt that said team Harlow’s on the back.

Urban licked his lips looking you up and down you looked dammed good he loved how the leggings made your ass sit just right and how they hugged your curves perfectly Urban loved a woman with a bit more meat on her body, he’s wanted you to be his for the longest, but he didn’t want to ruin a perfect friendship.

“You good man? You’ve been looking at Y/N for the longest.” Jack questioned Urban who snapped out of his trance blushed when he saw the look of concern across your face.

“Oh yeah yeah I’m okay I promise must be the weed.” He mumbled making you both laugh you turned your attention back to the passing trees and people as the SUV continued its way to the kickball filed.

Once there you all trampled out of the SUV it was a hot day in Kentucky today and you knew it was definitely causing your thighs to rub you groaned just knowing the pain it’ll cause later.

“Y/N you’re up first to kick and then 2fo and so on.” Drama told you and you nodded before lining up in the field opposite of you was Urban who grinned tossing the red ball around in his hands.

“You sure you can kick this ball ma? Don’t want you hurting your feet or breaking a nail.” He teased making Jack and them laugh you stuck your tongue out at him and he blew you a kiss in return.

“Just toss the ball Urb so I can show you how it’s done.” Everyone ooo’d at your comeback, Urban brought his arm back before tossing the ball your way you concentrated on the ball as it got closer before running forward a bit and kicking it in the air.

“Damn she kicked the shit out of that ball.” 2fo watched in awe as the ball flew in the air Jack and them tried to run and catch it went too far and before they knew it you had already ran through all the bases before making it home and getting your team one point.

“Well, I’d be damn I guess she showed your ass Urban.” Neelam laughed while everyone cheered for you.

“I knew my girl could do it.” Urban smiled and went back to the game after a few rounds everyone decided to take a break.

“You want a water or something ma? Or some ice cream it’s on me.” Urban suggested and your eyes lit up to the sound of ice cream, but you knew you shouldn’t.

“No, it’s okay I’ll just stick with water thank you though.” Urban snorted and rolled his eyes he knew how badly you wanted to lose weight but today you weren’t about to watch what you were eating he wanted you to have fun and have as much ice cream as you wanted.

“Nah come on ma you’re getting ice cream.” Before you could even protest Urban grabbed your hand and was dragging you towards the ice cream truck.

“What flavor do you want ma?”

“Uhh just a vanilla with sprinkles please I don’t really like all those extra flavors.” He snorted and shook his head at you before ordering you some and him. The two of you found a little empty spot under a tree with a bench the two of you sat in silence before you were interrupted by someone.

“Urban?! I didn’t know you were coming here.” Looking up you saw a very very skinny blonde chick with big boobs that were obviously fake as well as her ass, but this was Urban’s type, he loved girls like this he’d never go for someone like you.

“Oh, what’s up Selena and yeah I love kickball and love just spending time with everyone.” Urban smiled and the two of them continued to talk while you sat there awkwardly you didn’t really know what to say so you just waited patiently till they finished.

“Did you get her number? Or are the two of you just going to fuck or something later.” You mumbled and fiddled around with the spoon Urban couldn’t help but to chuckle.

“Ma.. you’re so clueless sometimes you know she ain’t my type, you’re my type ma you’re my fucking type Y/N.” He placed his hand on your thigh and started tracing small circles as he got closer and closer to your core making your breath hitch.

“Yo- you like me.” Pointing to yourself Urban laughed and moved your hand down softly before wrapping it in his own.

“Yes, ma I like you and I hope you’re not mad with what I’m about to do.” Before you knew it Urban’s lips were smashing onto yours you were shocked at first but soon enough your lips started moving with his.

He groaned in the kiss and patted his lap he wanted you to sit there.

“I’m too heavy Urb it’ll hurt.” You moaned out he was now kissing on your neck he smacked his lips and picked you up making you yelp as he placed you on his lap.

“Stop saying dumb shit like that and lemme kiss you again.” You were a moaning mess as Urban kissed on your neck and connected his lips to yours again before the two of you had to pull apart for air.

“I love you ma I love you so much.” You smiled and hid your face in the crook of his neck.

“I love you too Urban so much.”

#jack harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #urban wyatt concept #urban wyatt blurb

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clownhonkbonk · 1 month

Text

to any interested here are my reactions i remembered to write down for the magnus archives in it's entirety :3 it's not too many bUt this is what you get

the episode numbers are written with them!!

ft me trying to understand the story with a great deal of pain writing on my phone in my notes app mostly at 1 am

REACTIONS 👀

56 sub statment thinf w martin

avtually got tears in my eyes. i love you martin. i love you jon. im so happy he just went " avtually, im rather relieved " or whatever bc hell yes girl u are so unwell.

this show is so addicting.

OMG 28 DAYS LATER MENTION!!!! THE END IS EXTREMLY FUCJING NEIGH!!! not the reference but excited

spooky.

WAY too attached to them

only just skipped the add and " episode Fifty-Eight. Trail Rations" And immediately went " oh NO !! cannibalism :( " and the read the description like LMAOO everytime there's anything relating to food in this podcast i just go " oh no it's cannibalisim "

holy shit it's a woman cannibal, diversity WIN

WHAT THE FUCK I REALISED WHATS HAPPENING WHEN THEY'RE BOTH DEAD

benjamin wtf homie this is NOT good bedroom foreplay

ouuugg auch good writing.

i understand the possible cannibalisim thing now

YES JON OFC THEY R WORRIED ABT YOU YOU DUNBASS IM CRYING PLS

at lwast he doesn't think it's martin as much anymore ❓❓❓❓

i NEEEED to stop going through s1 animatics but QOW this fanvase is awesome i love all the designs.. i used to think martin and tim were the same person for a few episodes

honestly hell yeah tim. shout at jon for being weird. but also sike you can't leave.

insane.

ok im like halfway through this but like so for the deities / entities that r silly

we got

eyes, spider, diseases / insects ( though they maybe different ) and meat maybe???? maybe there's just three..

oh oh the guys r all core fears / most common fears, one extra is THE STRANGER OOOOoooOooooO

i love you martin for filling in n trying to take over for jon ur such a cutie

idk how much i believe that elias did it but like all evidence does point to that

actually love their lil dynamic. cuties.

103

OUUUGH JON WHAT THE FUCK DID U USE UR BRAIN POWERS ON HIM WTFFFFF

104

martin is getting spaceyyyyy uh oh.... be careful bb..

107

jon have you been DRUGGED?!?! (8:00)

jon bb mayb take a break you seem to be like having iron deficiency LMAOO

111

ok we got 14 whores of the universe

1 end - death

2 eyes

3 vertigo

4 the stranger

5 the spiral - madness

6 isolation - fear of being alone / seperated form ppl

7 burning/fire

8 the desolation

9 the slaughter violence

10 the web - also being manipulated

11 the vast

12 filth disease insexts

13 claustrophobia

14 darkness

the meat ❓❓❓

124

OUUUGH HE LITERALLY DITCHED THE RECORDING JUST TO RUN AFTER MARTIN the gays r getting to me

126

WHAT HTEH FUCKKK !>??!?!?!? !??

bro this is NOT therapy. bro ham lukas peter you dickwad what the fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

ISOLATION??????????????????????? WHY IS THE ISOLATION GOD POKING AT MARTIN ?!?!?!?!?!?!??! DICKWAD??!?!?! ?criyng asobbign why

i actually low key love lukas " dynamic duo " is sO funny sjkdjk

martin i miss u come back it;s not woRTH ITTTTTT

fuck i draw jon like trent crimm if he was a twig and gayer and green

131

i physically recalled at the start they've IMPROOOVED their aUDIO... fucking crazy.

also bitches be bitching ( jon AND melane )

honestly fuck yeah helen girl

133

girl is dealing wth SOOO much trauma poor girl........... jeez.

cannot stop thinkin about martin :(

i miss tim.

134

WOOOO MARTIN

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HE LEFT THE TAPES FOR JON WTF

the buried / cave

the end

the corruption / filth

the dark

the desolation

the eye

the flesh

the hunt

the lonely

the slaughter

the spiral

the stranger

the vast

the web

135

feeks like they're reading together but w a wall in the way which is sad

142

MARTIN PLEASADEEE

also jon what the fuck please don't be a dick this lovely lade lost her job and gained so much trauma.

143

jon stop using ur thing constantly on people it makes me worried for you and insanely pushes you to not being human.

jon i know she tried to hurt you both but ur being so mean, im WORRIED.

hell YES hellen

144

martin im still upset at you for going " why does no one tell me anything !!!! " while literally avoiding them and asking yhem not to talk to you!!! wtf broham.

anyway loving this story

145

gertrude what a girl holy cow<3

146

IM SO WORRIED ABT MARTIN AND JON GUUUUUUH WHAT THE FUCK.

150

jon u r so self destructive...

151

holy ahit simon fairchild..

154

what the fuck im sobbing what is this good omens bullshit i love it but im crying not really but like heartbreaking????

171

i don't know if jons gonna survive if he doesn't stop getting weird and weirder.

also adorable "is he your boyfriend?!"

" yes actually "

jon what the fuck w u n these flesh flowers

ok hi!! thst was the last one.:3

i didn't write down reactions for further episodes but if we can bring our attention to me writing at some point ( in early season 5 ) in my sketch book " 10 bets jon or martin dies at the end "

#tma spoilers #times a million.#tma #the magnus archives #sorry about the... crude language and insults. i was never once in my right mind 😔

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adultswim2021 · 1 year

Text

The Boondocks #28: “The Story of Gangstalicious Part 2” | February 4, 2008, - 11:30PM | S02E13

A follow-up to the first Gangstalicious episode. In this episode, we find out that RIley has continued to be in touch with Gangstalicious, who sends Riley free CDs and other merch all the time. It’s evident (and eventually confirmed) that the reason for this is he’s effectively sending Riley these care packages as a hush payment. The punchline from the first episode (Riley in extreme denial about Gangstalicious’ sexuality, that is) carries over to this one; Riley just thinks they’re good friends and still believes that he hallucinated Gangstalicious’ doing a big gay kiss on the lips with another fella.

Ganstalicious has a song called “Homies over Hoes” which is tearing up the charts. In fact, Gangsatlicous has never been hotter. He even debuts his fashion line on Regis and Kelly, which is just ridiculously gay stuff. Riley, still oblivious, proudly wears the gay guy stuff, while Grandad panics about his grandson becoming a gay dude. Riley stays in denial, even in the face of a tell-all book written by a woman who was rebuffed by Gangstalicious for being gay reasons. Eventually, Riley confronts Gangstalicious and asks him point blank if he’s gay. Gangstalicious still denies it, and Riley wholeheartedly accepts his denial at face value. And that’s the end.

This is a really funny one, but it may not be to some people’s tastes. The harsh gay panic on display from some of the characters will come off outdated or just unfunny to plenty. It’s important to note that this was an era when I think most gay-panic comedy was written with some degree of irony, or at the very least it was presented that way after the fact by a lot of creatives who weren’t done going to the gay jokes well. It’s, of course, absurd to be homophobic, which is why it’s funny when we write a character calling another person gay, that kind of thing. Nevermind they are reaping the benefits of having chucklheads from the midwest just taking those jokes at face value and enjoying them wholeheartedly.

A lot of these jokes are weaponized now for various battles in modern culture wars. I have a distaste for anyone taking stuff like the “You know how I know you’re gay?” scene from The 40 Year Old Virgin and balling up their fists in outrage either that those jokes ever existed or that current movies aren’t telling jokes exactly those ones anymore. Please just let being gay or trans be normal. I promise, it’s much more important than being able to see gay jokes in new movies. You can still watch this episode on HBOMax right now and laugh at it in the privacy of your own home, if you want. We don’t need the same gay jokes that were told about Michael Jackson to be told again about [I literally have no idea who to put here, sorry!].

But basically, yes, the only truly sympathetic character here might be Gangsalicious himself, who has to continue living a lie. Riley is homophobic because he’s a dumb kid. Granddad is homophobic because he’s an old stupid man. Thugnificent and his crew are homophobic because they are cowardly, literally seen shaking and hiding from the gay man at their doorstep they originally agreed to collab with. Huey is even guilty in this episode because he might directly benefit from Riley’s perceived gayness and get his own room. This episode accurately reflects a time when being homophobic was just the easiest path.

I’m probably giving the episode too generous of a read here. I have no clue how Aaron mcgruder feels about gay people. I personally don’t know how actually homophobic the jokes are meant to be. The disclaimer at the start is rather coarse, and if that’s the only thing we have to go on then this episode probably deserves some flack. But I thought the episode was funny, and it might be in part due to the mental gymnastics I did to make it reflect my own feelings a little more. And at the end of the day, aren’t my own delusions the most important thing in the entire world?

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #the boondocks

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myhotel-year · 7 months

Text

Tonight's Movie: Hostel (I and II)

god there is so much misogyny, badly written female characters who just hate on each other, criminalization of drugs and alcohol, and playing into awful slavic stereotypes. The gore is barely worth it they should have died worse

they just added ableism and being mean to ugly people.

no joke you can't tell apart the strippers and the main characters cause they're all exactly the same in both look and temperament

fuck even the girls will call something gay

AND now there's GOLFING it officially has all my least favourite things

i'm starting to recognize different directors' style n stuff, mr Tarantula i am not a fan so far

to be real it's also 2007

and why do they keep getting ambushed by ethnically ambiguous children

i get that everyone in horror movies has to be a villain but GOD WOW

ren faire? with hypnotism????

deadass i could not figure out what the tattoo was of, i thought it was a lil ghostie

ok redeemed the fiddling is really good

reminds me of a Sebastian Stan movie i saw.. FRESH

diversity win! the ugly girl gets a fat guy!

and ugly guy gets his revenge! (he could have saved women from murder cannibalism but she hurt his feelings)

even bitchy girls understand u don't let a homie disappear w someone

how is "person knows ur name before you tell them" a horror trope and how do they always FIGURE IT OUT

if someone remembers my name i am ecstatic, sometimes i can't even remember if i told them already

did they get captured separately by different murderers?

diversity win? the strippers are as good at killing girls as they are guys

ooooo moments of comedy keep horror alive, they really do

why is pole dancing in movies barely anything but irl it's like, a sport level exercise

oh he's gonna bathe in her blood wow

honestly she's p small i don't think she'd have enough blood for a real bath

OOO THERE'S A WOMAN KILLER TOO

love how they keep using gay as a slur but also using negative lesbian stereotypes (mean, specifically to men, overtly sexual towards other women but also mean to them)

how do the fucking kids always get revenge, and why are they so mean???? what have they been through fuck

well. direct answer to. my question.

has stripper girl gone soft? she is helping the target??? or maybe not

love how good w names i am

ok this movie does give good backstory to the first one, and it does feel like a totally different perspective and kind of movie being told from a woman's pov, but also have you ever talked to a real woman

like you get the general shape of "woman" but you've never actually SEEN one in real life

like yeah the concept of human trafficking is scary to everyone, but liiike, you do know that's a real fear for many actual women,,,

it feels like a white man going "isn't slavery scary as a concept, wouldn't that be terrible lmao"

yeah it's normal for a bestie to do a makeover when i'm freshly traumatized and hurt

"we're the normal ones" *does cocaine*

for both movies i've checked how much longer at about an hour (30 mins left) cause i get fuckin bored

there's such a back and forth of are they actually a villain at the very end it's very interesting

nooo i'm not gonna kill you, i'm a good guy! I'm one of the nice ones!!

FUCK

lmao he can't even handle watching her die what a FUCKING CUNT

ha i knew the strong one would end up the wuss and the sad one would be the killer

good doggies

ANOTHER WOMAN IN CHARGE

it's true, the real incels are are the ones that call them incels

woah birthday almost twins, i'm 11/11 she's 12/12

lmao she's got him by the dick, LITERALLY

ok actually that's amazing

diversity win! a girl joins ur gang

I'M NOT KIDDING THE FIDDLING IS SO GOOD

i am even more confused

Mr. Tarantula u do know how to make a movie feel like it ended in the middle so you can make a sequel

the "or is it" of horror

guess i know tomorrow's movie

#tonight's movie #hostel #horror

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applecrumbledore · 2 years

Note

I like when the boys get some action with ladies. It is annoying when it is written in the typical misogynistic fandom way though. Like when female characters are just used as pawns and have no personality or worth beyond how they either further or hinder the main ship. Or when they are demonized and made out to be the villain. So basically when fandom people write female characters the way tv and movie writers write female characters...

lol forever and ever at the phrasing of "when the boys get some action with ladies." me too homie

yeah it's very disheartening and fic-ruining to read women written by people who have maybe never written women before, or never spoken to a woman, or loved and respected one, who knows with the way some people write!!! it's insane how prevalent that is in all fandoms, even when the writers are primarily young women themselves! lotta internalized misogyny in fandom spaces in a massive way

I like to think I write okay women and would do it justice. I love women and date women and used to be one. I especially think it's nice in wincest fic, I exclusively write the two of them as bi whether it's always explicitly mentioned or not. just rings truest to me for obvious reasons. thanks to all who replied on the post

#ask #ronanswers

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cyarskj1899 · 6 months

Text

he deserves it

youtube

‘It’s Britney, B**ch!’ X App Users Flame Justin Timberlake After ‘Toxic’ Singer Airs Out Wack Blaccent

MadameNoire Featured Video

Pop sensation Britney Spears has the internet hollering after she called out her ex Justin Timberlake and his phony blaccent in her latest memoir. Black X users also applauded her for recognizing that “Fo’ Shizzle” originated from Black folks.

The “Sometimes” hitmaker released her memoir, The Woman in Me, Oct. 24, dropping spicy deets hidden from public knowledge — from the conservatorship and her family to romantic relationships. Actress Michelle Williams narrated the audiobook.

Related Stories

X users clowned the “Rock Your Body” artist, and these were the best responses. You can hear Williams narrating the Ginuwine ditty below. The actress’ imitation of JT’s blaccent was an eye-opener.

Track 14 in the audiobook version of The Woman In Me left the internet in shambles. Spears claimed Timberlake’s former group, NSYNC, differed from other ’90s boy bands like Backstreet Boys (and Westlife) because they hung around and tried to fit in with the Black artists while the other white groups stayed in their lanes. The “Slave 4 U” singer stated people used to call NSYNC “So Pimp.”

“His band, NSYNC, is what people back then called ‘so pimp,'” she said. “They were white boys, but they loved hip-hop. To me, that’s what separated them from the Backstreet Boys, who seemed very [conscious] to position themselves as a white group. NSYNC hung out with Black artists. Sometimes, I thought they tried too hard to fit in.”

Spears then recalled when Timberlake took her to a town in New York, unfamiliar to the “Baby One More Time” star, and they ran into R&B icon Ginuwine. According to Spears, the “Cry Me a River” singer had no shame in putting on a spurious blaccent.

“J got all excited and said so loud, ‘Oh yeah, fo’ Shizz, fo’ Shizz, Ginuwine. What’s up, homie?'”

It’s unclear if Ginuwine responded to Timberlake’s foolishment, but he did walk away.

X users took jabs at the musician who had profited off Black culture even before his NSYNC disbandment by posting old photos and clips of ’90s Timberlake to back her allegations. From his cornrows to his adopting a more urban accent, the receipts did the job!

One X user shared a clip from an NSYNC HBO special that aired in July 2000, where Timberlake did a beatbox session while dancing around the stage before the band dove into “It’s Gonna Be Me.”

Timberlake profited from dousing his music, fashion sense and style with elements of Black culture.

It’s no coincidence that Timberlake transitioned from singing bubblegum pop in a boyband to making pop-R&B hits and accumulating an over $200 million net worth. Right after the accusedculture vulture disbanded from NSYNC, he started his solo career and released his debut album, Justified. Tracks on the record were written and produced by well-known producers like Timbaland, Pharrell Williams, Chad Hugo and Brian McKnight. Additionally, Timberlake donned cornrows to complement his new urban sound. Amid his attempts to “woo” the urban crowd, the Memphis native stayed silent on Black issues.

For example, after Janet Jackson’s jaw-dropping wardrobe malfunction at the 2004 Super Bowl, over 540,000 complaints were sent to the Federal Communications Commission. Jackson received the brunt of the nation’s anger despite Timberlake being the one who exposed her breasts.

The “Rock Your Body” hitmaker apologized for the incident years later.

Sent from my iPhone

#Youtube

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busysavingtheuniverse · 3 years

Note

may i ask you to elaborate on tua season 2?

hell yeah dude

for an easy answer @deer-time's tua salt tag is a really good starting place (though they've moved most tua-related stuff to their sideblog @salty-coffee)

but if you don't want to go through that basically, in no particular order:

it felt they were just shoving in scenes for the music and the soundtrack just wasn't as memorable as season one

the time skip ensured that we missed out on most of their development. i have a lot of beef with the time skip

i cannot stress enough how much the handler should've died in season one lol

WHY WOULD NONE OF THEM KNOW WHERE KLAUS WAS HE WAS LITERALLY A CULT LEADER

luther, at the very least, should've seen vanya's ads in the newspaper. diego allison and klaus i can understand because one was in an asylum (i have my beef with that don't worry lol), the other wouldn't read white newspapers, and the third was traveling

vanya's amnesia plot felt like it was just there to smooth her over? she got no meaningful interactions with the siblings because she didn't know them and the conflict they set up at the end of season one ('we need to fix her') never went anywhere. we love wlw representation but was vanya really ready for romance after all the shit that went down? she needs time to process and grow not forget everything and latch onto the first woman that takes her in. we got no exploration of her trauma. also why can she just automatically control her powers now? no trauma recovery narrative for vanya i guess. she spends the entire season as essentially a side character with no real agency in the plot? also where did the new powers come from hello

speaking of the romance literally none of it was executed well. why did raymond assume his WIFE was a government plant before at least hearing her out? vissy was written so shallowly it's not even funny. liego happened way too quickly and diego forgot about eudora too fast. klave was okay i guess lol idc abt them

why did diego and lila face no racism? why were they in an integrated asylum in the south? why did they actually show diego being helped genuinely instead of them just making his situation worse? i don't think therapy was that genuinely developed. diego felt like a completely different character

why would luther, known goody-two-shoes, work for the mob? also why would he not ask jack ruby to look up his siblings' names for him before? he went back to the alley so he at least had the thought that they landed in the same spot at different times right. also he was way too dumbed down and made into comic relief for the benefit of the luther haters

klaus was literally made irrelevant? he had nothing to do, his relapse was treated as a JOKE, his addiction wasn't explored, and he was basically just comic relief like luther

allison's plotline felt it was just there to get her out of the way, she totally forgot about claire, her trauma was ignored for the second season in a row, etc. she wasn't even mad at vanya like this woman slit your throat and incinerated your daughter i don't CARE that you treated her badly i think that's a pretty good basis for some friction? (screw the amnesia plot obviously)

five and ben were left pretty intact specifically because ben's personality isn't there and five didn't get a time skip

why did they forget that drugs suppress powers when vanya was with the fbi

very sexy of tua to introduce the concept of an evil corporation that's essentially the root of all their problems in season one and then redeem it but just giving it new management? and have five of all people look into the faces of herb and DOT, WHO LEFT HIM IN THE APOCALYPSE AND DIDN'T PUSH FOR HIM TO GET EXTRACTED, and say 'yeah guys totally! :)'

also he should've eaten carmichael i don't make the rules

NONE OF THE SIBLING BONDING FELT REAL BECAUSE WE DIDN'T GET TO SEE THEIR DEVELOPMENT. NOTHING VANYA DID FELT REAL BECAUSE OF THE AMNESIA

the swedes were legitimately not necessary. screw the swedes all my homies hate the swedes. why did they stay all the way until the finale

where did the five+allison jfk plot go that was so good

why did lila automatically know how to control their powers

elliott wasn't necessary either they should've just made their home base hazel and agnes's house with no unnecessary fridging please. that's where they could've gotten a briefcase too

the atmosphere felt completely different? season one was dark and slow and had the vibes of a gothic horror, almost? it was watching a train wreck in action, seeing all these plot threads inevitably combine for one hell of a finale. there was nothing like that in season two. aside from the obvious atmosphere change, it didn't feel like there was any direction to where the story was going? the only two highlights of the finale i care about are diego deflecting the bullets and five rewinding time. that's IT. and compared to season one's finale, it's utterly disappointing

idk it just felt like a popcorn flick/marvel movie and those are fine! those have their place! but the entire draw of tua was the darker themes and focus on childhood trauma/abuse, and they just completely failed to follow up. those have their place, and it was not here

all in all the writing just felt weaker

there's more in the 'tua salt' and 'tua s2 salt' tags

anyway tua is a ten-episode-long miniseries

#tua #tua salt #tua s2 salt #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #number five #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #sissy cooper #raymond chestnut #lila pitts #hazel #agnes #the handler #the swedes

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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years

Text

The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 25

Y/n puts an end to everything.

@dovahdokren @deadman-inc-bikeshop @lov3vivian @wisesandwichshark @scpdragon

⚠️HUGE⚠️ trigger warnings: rape, drugging, sex trafficking, VERY graphic descriptions of violence, physical violence (please let me know if I leave anything out)

Hannibal could walk through a valley of human suffering and not even flinch. You couldn't tell if that made him subhuman or superhuman. You, however, were just human.

You wanted to be a badass. You wanted to kick the door down and make a scene. But one woman was enough to break you.

She was wearing only a large t-shirt. A cloth bandage covered in blood covered her pubic area like a makeshift pair of underpants. She laid limply against a stone. Her arms were punctured where needles had been.

"I don't..." she mumbled, clearly intoxicated beyond function. "...don't make me..."

You knew you couldn't afford to stop. But compassion kept your feet firmly on the ground in front of her.

"What is Chase making you do?"

"I can't-" She said, pressing her forehead against the rock. "I can't be an unwoman-"

She began to slam her head against the rock with clear intent to take her own life. Without thinking, you grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her into the grass. She sobbed, a bloody, but thankfully, survivable, gash on her forehead.

"Tell me your name." You demanded, squeezing her shoulders.

"...Tiffany." She said with a sudden lucidity.

The name unlocked a memory in you. It was the still image of a sunny young girl, immortalized on a faded missing person's ad hung up at the grocery store. Tiffany Rose Pierce, it read.

"I'm gonna get you out of here, Tiffany." You whispered. "I'm gonna get all of you out of here."

"Vanguard won't like that." She said, slipping back into a state of minimal consciousness.

"Stay here." You instructed, pushing yourself back to your feet.

You readied your gun and slowly, carefully pushed the cabin door open. Suddenly, the stained glass window was the least of your worries.

The entire area was lined with cheaply-constructed bunk beds, like an overgrown henhouse. Women with distinctively long hair were shackled to the lower bunks. Their shaven counterparts, the unwomen, were forced to be the slavedrivers. They held the chained women down.

You heard the rattling of chains coming from the right. It was accompanied with screaming and wet slapping.

"Take daddy's cock you filthy fucking broodmare." A familiar voice grunted.

The only way you could look at him was behind the barrel of your gun. He was exactly how you pictured him while listening to his voice in the car. Unremarkable, middle-aged and serpentine.

"Pastor Armitage!" You yelled.

To hear someone call him by his title in the midst of violating a person was enough to send him into a panic. He sputtered and his entire face turned red.

He didn't suffer for long, though. A 12 gauge shell right through the face took care of that. Fragments of his head, his blood and brain matter splattered everywhere. His knees buckled and his limp body collapsed.

The room fell silent. Smoke trickled out of your barrel.

"Where's fucking Chase?" You asked the room.

Someone weakly pointed up the stairs. You met her eyes and nodded.

"Sorry about the mess."

Now you knew how Hannibal felt. Blowing someone's head off made you acutely aware of your own head on your shoulders. You held it higher. You felt no remorse as you ascended the staircase with your gun blazing.

You came across a room with some words etched in the door. 'Skin room'. You launched your foot squarely into the door, causing it to violently swing open.

You examined the room from behind the gun. Chase had done a hell of a job dressing up this cheap cabin bedroom like a hotel suite, but the smell hit you before you could be fooled. A brick chimney, a wine cooler and a mahogany desk were positioned so the eye would gravitate towards the luxury while the nose picked up the brutality. The stained glass window was suspended in front of the real window, absorbing the mid-morning light and giving the room an eerie sepia tint.

You cocked your gun to announce your presence. You heard the sound of running water, and then a side door swung open.

“You’ll forgive me a couple minutes to freshen up.” Chase said, shaking his hands dry. “Cleanliness is close to godliness, after all.”

You said nothing. You didn’t want to dignify him with a conversation.

He bent over and pulled a bottle of wine from his cooler. He placed it squarely on the desk. You looked at it, then did a double take. He grinned sadistically.

“Is that...” You leaned in to get a closer look. “1907 Heidsieck Monople Gout?”

Chase shrugged. “You tell me. You’re the wine expert.”

You’d heard many a conflicting story about the legendary 1907 Heidsieck. Some said as many as 2,000 bottles were pulled up from the depths of the freezing Baltic sea. Some said a single bottle could go for half a million dollars. With that kind of precedent, you never thought you’d ever have to worry about it. Yet, there it was. Right in front of you.

“I’m saving it for a special occasion.” Chase said, suddenly reminding you where you were.

You returned to your gun. “For when you kill me?”

“For when I save you.” Chase smiled, his unnaturally white teeth glistening in the sepia light. “See, Miss [F/N], you survived two of my attempts on your life. God has smiled down on you.”

“Or, maybe,” You interrupted. “You’re just horrible at killing.”

Chase raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.

"A knife through the hand hurts like a bitch, but it isn't fatal." You shrugged. "And you didn't do a good enough job beating the fear of death out of Catherine. Else she might have actually gone through with it. Maybe if you'd sent Tiffany-"

"God loves you." Chase interrupted before you could poke more holes in his attempts on your life. "Why you're still alive when so many less deserving of death have died is beyond me, but god works in mysterious ways, doesn't he?"

"She sure does." You smirked.

Chase cleared his throat. You'd pegged him as the type to get irrationally angry at the implication of god being a woman, so his reaction surprised you.

"Well, let's get down to business, shall we?" He gestured to a seat across from him.

You narrowed your eyes. "I don't think so."

"Pity." He pouted. "Not even for poor Mr. Graham?"

It dawned on you that he probably still thought he had Will, and you could use it to your advantage.

You held your gun at your side and hesitantly sat down in the seat. A gluttonous smile spread across Chase's face.

"So it wasn't wine after all." He said. "It wasn't even your own life. You're only willing to save your soul for the sake of your precious Will Graham."

"What do you care?" You growled through your teeth. "This is just a power grab for you. You wouldn't know what genuine empathy for another person feels like."

He grinned, as if someone had just flipped his 'on' switch. "Jesus does."

"Did Jesus use his influence to lure teenage girls into a sick breeding ring?" You sneered. "I don't remember that from VeggieTales."

"Genesis 1:28." Chase said. "And God blessed them, and God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply."

"I suppose you also don't eat shellfish or wear mixed fabrics." You rolled your eyes.

"It's always the same arguments from you atheists." Chase scoffed, adding a distinct bite to the last word. "When are you going to show some actual proof that the bible isn't an infallible model for human morality?"

"Maybe when you stop eating shellfish and wearing mixed fabrics." You repeated.

"They are minor sins at best." Chase grimaced. "I have gotten right with Jesus. You, on the other hand, oh, you. Your sins are weighty."

"I did just blast a rapist's head off." You admitted. "And it's going to be two very soon if this one doesn't get to the fucking point."

"I know about your exploits." He squinted. "With Mr. Graham and the man with the Nazi accent."

"He's actually from Lithuania, which, if you wanna be technical," you corrected, just for the sake of being annoying. "Is an ex-Soviet state, but whatever."

Chase tensed up at being corrected. "I know about your hedonistic sexual activities with two men, your exploration. But in the bible, Satan approaches these two people called Adam and Eve..."

"No he didn't." You shook your head. "It was a serpent. The devil wasn't a concept when Genesis was written."

Chase gritted his teeth. "God made one man and one woman. Each to fill each other's sexual desires, within the context of marriage, entirely-"

"But Adam had two spouses, didn't he?" You cocked your head and smiled. "Eve wasn't even the first woman in Adam's life. That was Lilith."

Chase heaved a frustrated sigh. "How do you know that?!"

"I was raised catholic." You said in the tonal equivalent of smacking him upside the head. "I was forced into religion at a young age and brainwashed to hate myself."

"See, that's where we agree." Chase tented his hands, thinking he found a genuine point of connection. "Organized religion is a cancer on society. Christianity is fundamentally about a relationship with god."

You laughed. It was the first real, good laugh you had in a while.

"Don't laugh." He scolded. "I am sorry that that was your experience with religion and that the Catholic church modeled a false teaching of who god is and what he wants. Not all christians-"

You wiped a tear from your eye. "Homie, you killed four people in front of me."

He placed his hand over his heart. "And christ forgave me. And he can forgive you too."

"Alright, this has been fun and everything," you said, standing up. You aimed your shotgun and cocked it. "But, I did come here to kill you, so, open wide."

Chase put his hand squarely over the barrel and pushed it out of the way. "You don’t have the guts to pull the trigger."

You pulled the trigger and blasted his hand clean off. Any hope of reattachment was shattered, as bits of his hand painted the walls and floor.

You opened the gun and let the two empty shells fall to the ground while Chase screamed in agony.

Instead of going through the motions of reloading, you smashed him over the head with the gun. He wrapped his good hand around the barrel and attempted to wrestle it away from you. You took this as an invitation to corner him against the wall with the still-hot barrel against his neck. He smashed his forehead into your nose, sending you tumbling backwards.

The shotgun fell to the ground. You pinched the bridge of your nose to control the blood flow. Chase wrapped a champagne towel around his stump and picked up a small revolver on his desk. He let off a shot, which lodged itself into your shoulder. By the time he let off the second shot, you were on the ground. The third shot didn't fire, just let out a flash and a bang.

"Goddamn blanks!" He cursed.

He tore open a drawer and rummaged around for bullets, giving you a window to come up from behind and gouge your fingers into his eyes. He screamed, dropping a handful of bullets. He flailed aimlessly, then charged backwards, slamming you into the cheap drywall.

He felt around for the bullets without the advent of eyesight. You knew you wouldn't be able to take aim with your shotgun with a bullet lodged in your shoulder, so you dove for the revolver.

Chase grabbed you by the ankle and dragged you down. You hit the floor with a thud, the collision making the bullets jump. Chase grinned, using the sound to place them. He turned around and reached for one, while you scooped up another that had rolled under the desk.

You scrambled to your feet. Chase's hand was just centimeters from the revolver. Thinking fast (but not so thoroughly), you grabbed for the revolver. You wrapped your hand around the barrel, putting yourself at a disadvantage if he fired off another blank.

Chase, however, wasn't that forward-thinking, and opted for a childish game of tug-of-war instead. Knowing he had the brute strength advantage, you waited for him to pull back and released your grip. Chase tumbled, cursing on his way down.

With no thought on your mind but ending this, you launched your foot into his sack, causing him to scream and drop the gun.

Just as you thought it was over, just when the gun was in arm's reach, he kicked your knees backwards and you fell. You swallowed the pain and army crawled for the revolver.

"I don't think so." Chase spat, smiling like a maniac. He grabbed your face with his good hand and his fingers slithered down your throat.

"Choke..." he demanded. "Choke, demoness."

Strengthened by animalistic instinct, you crushed his fingers under your teeth. The sound of snapping bone filled the inside of your head and a sudden rush of blood flooded into your mouth. He withdrew his hand, leaving a finger behind to limply fall down your throat.

You coughed and gagged while Chase screamed. A single bloody digit dislodged itself from your windpipe, flew across the room and landed on the desk.

Chase sputtered something resembling a laugh. "Maybe you're not such a dumb bitch after all."

You grabbed the gun and pushed yourself up with the help of the desk. The finger stared up at you as you loaded the single bullet.

You positioned the finger onto the trigger and guided it with your gloved hand. Then you aimed it at his forehead. Dead by his gun, by his trigger finger. Bleeding on the ground in his private bunker while the empire he built collapses around him. A coward's death. It was poetic enough an end as he deserved.

"You want to say a prayer before you meet god?" You offered.

"My soul is saved." Chase said through ragged breaths. "My place in heaven is secured."

Bang. One bullet, right between the eyes. A bloody fingerprint on the pistol. You dropped the revolver and collapsed. You just laid there, listening to your phone buzz.

#hannibal lecter #hannibal x you #hannibal x reader #hannibal nbc #the sommelier #will graham #will graham x reader #will graham x you #hannibal x you x will #hannigram x reader #hannibal x will #tw violence #tw grape without the g #tw sex abuse #tw sex trafficking #tw christianity

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spookysmujer · 4 years

Text

Peaches, O. Diaz

Summary: Oscar and Y/N spend a pleasurable night together.

warnings: s m u t 🥵 18+. public s e x, unprotected s e x

word count: 2.3k

A/N: Fina-fkn-ly I have written Oscar smut! You would think with this blog dedicated around him that I would have done so already. Who doesn’t like the Santos party + sex? I am not @youare-mysonshine, who has the best damn Oscar smut on this site, I am but her apprentice, LOL. Enjoy! And please don’t forget to follow, heart, comment, reblog and turn on those notifs for when I post something new. Lots of love!! Thank you for +800 followers!

(gif credit goes to @merakiaes 🦋)

“So it took your brother being shot for you to come around?”

You hear from behind you, as you swivel in your spot there is the man of the hour. Spooky is celebrating his 25th birthday and a victory in showing Prophet$ what’s good with last nights showdown.

A small smile forms on your lips as you briefly look away from him to avoid the red hue on your cheeks worsening. Oscar definitely has a way with women, it doesn’t take much for him to have the ladies swooning, or on their knees. And it’s no secret he prefers the latter.

“Yeah, it’s definitely not for the reason of you make it to half a century”. He now stands in front of you, one hand in his pocket as the other holds his beer close to him. It’s a moment of silence, him looking down at you and you up at him.

When your brother, known as Joker, begged you to come home for a weekend you were hesitant too. And with how things went down, you were right to be. Shit had gone down on Santos turf resulting in your brother getting hit but nothing compared to what the Prophet$ got handed back to them. And all in the weekend that Oscar’s birthday bash is happening too.

“Good, I was hoping that was the reason. ‘Ridge been boring without you around. How’s life been up in Bakersfield?” He asks you as you two begin a small walk around the house to a quieter setting.

You shrug as you kick gravel around, “As good as you can guess. But my business degree is being put to use. So not long til I can repay for you the loan you gave my brother for me. Promise.”

He shakes his head after taking a swig of beef, his mouth pressed together tightly, lips licking the remaining that lingered. Damn. “Nah, don’t worry ‘bout it. Whenever you can.”

A small laugh from you, “People are gonna think you got a soft spot for me doing that kind of shit.”

“Let um think that they want. They wouldn’t be wrong.” He keeps his line of sight in front of him as you look to him. You both lean against his impala as the soft moonlight reflects of the shiny paint of the red car.

After staring at him for a moment, you look away as he takes his turn at looking at you, his eyes burn into you as you clear your throat, “Careful.”

“What?” He grins at you with his signature grin.

You can feel your cheeks burn hotter by the second. And you also know that Oscar knows what he is doing, you’ve seen him do it to other girls.That look that seals the deal and then he is leading them into house. Probably notable that most of those girls plan on getting in bed with him from the moment they arrive.

“That. You know what you’re doing and I am not like all them girls that you’ve banged in there.” You point to the house as you take a swig of your half empty beer. Oscar audibly laughs as he pushes himself off car.

He downs the last of his beer and tosses it to the trashcan across the way. You watch it as he moves to stand in front of you. This makes you correct your posture as he moves in even closer, lessening the open space between the two of you.

Oscar licks his lips, ever so slowly. He wipes his mouth of any remaining alcohol and places his hands on the car, each on the side of you, “That’s what I like about you. That you aren’t like them. You don’t come around here in hopes of some action. And if I’m being honest? That shit is attractive to me, knowin’ I gotta get you.”

“Get me? You’re real smooth, y’know?” You scan his face, eyes staring into his as he grins, leaning in til you feel his breath his your lips.

But the truth is, he is smooth. “Mmm.” He hum as he closes that space and your lips are on his. The chaste kiss is held for a moment before you both start to kiss each other, open mouth and quickly are your tongues dancing.

“Yo, Spooky finally gon hit Joker’s fine ass sister!”

You hear loudly, pulling back and turning around to see one of the Santos standing near the house. You groan as you flip him off and cover your face with your hands, “So get the fuck away, foo.” Oscar says with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

The Santo laughs backing away with his hands up in defense. Though partially embarrassed, you can’t help but laugh. Oscar’s hands rest on your hips, rubbing gently and pulling you back to lean against his body. He doesn’t say anything else, placing a kiss on your bare shoulder. Trailing kisses til he reaches your neck where you know there will be markings the next day.

Oscar’s hands feel your body, rising up your torso to cup your breasts. All of it, leaning against him, his hands, the kisses... it’s all too much to not react so when you moan, he laughs and kisses your neck more. One of his hands leave your body and pulls your face to the left and his lips meet yours.

While you two kiss you grab his other hand, bravely pushing down towards your heat. He doesn’t waste anytime and slips his hand in your shorts feeling you over you underwear, your body feeling weak when he massages your sensitive bud.

“W-we gotta go inside.” You mumble against lips and you feel him smile, his hand in your pants dipping lower to spread your arousal, earning more moans. “Nah, mami. Just relax, those foos not gonna come out here again.”

That’s when he releases you and steps back, you pout at the absence of his touch. You turn around as he grabs the waistband of your jean shorts and swiftly pulls them down to your knees, you gasp loudly trying to reach down to pull them back up, “Are you crazy? I’m not gonna fuck you out here. I don’t care if your homies won’t come back here, you have neighbors and I’m woman enough for you to take me inside!”

He only laughs, picking you up to sit on the car, the cool metal making you squirm, “No one can see us, just trust me. I ain’t tryna fuck you out here, just curious.” Oscar unbuttons his flannel and pulls it off, balling it up and putting it behind you, pushing you back to lay your head on it as a pillow. He swiftly pulls off your shorts and spreads your legs, his finger hooking your panties to the side, “Oh my god, I cannot believe you are gonn-”

His tongue against your clit shut you up quickly. It causes your breath to hitch and words lost as he licks more swipes against your heat. He tortures you with the way he does it slowly, but the sensation feels like bliss, “Sweet as peaches, mamas.”

You feel relaxed, letting your legs rest comfortably over his shoulders. His lips covering your entire cunt now, tongue swirling on your clit and then dipping down into your entrance. And when he pulls back then back down to suck on your swollen bud like sweet nectar, your back arches. And you’ve had guys go down on your before, but something about the way he does it. He doesn’t shove his fingers in like you are use to having and it makes the moment more enjoyable.

“What no extra pleasure with your fingers? Fuck.” You squeeze your breast together, eyes closed. Thanking sweet baby Jesus in heaven! “You gonna tell me how to pleasure you? I know what I’m doing. Shhh.”

He bites the inside of your thigh, a moan let out a little too loud. You cover your mouth with your hand. You sit up on your elbows to watch him work his way to your release but the darkness makes it hard to see much, “Take me inside.”

Oscar licks your cunt once more before leaning up to kiss you, your arousal on his tongue and lips, “Ever taste yourself before, hm?” He kisses you more not letting you answer.

“Hm, yeah. I’ve tasted other girls too, but you’re right, mine is sweet like peaches.” You whisper as you peck his lips then looking into his eyes, his mouth slightly agape at your confession. You’re smirking as your hands move under his tank to feel his skin.

He doesn’t say anything as he collects your shorts and his flannel, picking you up and placing you on his shoulder, your ass cheeks bare in just your lace thong. “Oh my gosh, Oscar!”

Oscar smacks your ass he walks to the two of you into his house. You won’t lie to yourself that you’ve fantasized about getting into bed with him. The guy is not just beautiful being but sexy as fuck as well and he knows it too.

He drops you on his bed and rids himself of his tank, you doing the same. He climbs onto the bed and hovers over you, you wrapping your legs over his hips pulling his face down to kiss you. No more slow moving, no more games. It’s freaky business NOW.

You reach your hand between the two of you to feel him through his pants. And he does not disappoint in his size. You unbuckle his annoyingly long belt, finally getting it free for you to unbutton his jeans. You move your hand inside and wrap your hand on his semi-hardened member, stroking it entirely. He groans into your mouth as you do so.

“I’m wet and you’re hard, com’n.”

He stops kissing you and reaches between the two of you to take your hand out of his pants. He shimmies out of it and sits up to remove your panties. And with your demand to hurry, he spits on your mound and smears it around before guiding himself in.

The slight burn passes quickly as the pleasurable sensation hits you soon after. You bite your lip as Oscar stands at the foot of the bed, moving your legs up to rest against him. He starts slowly for the two of you to get familiar with the feeling of each other.

You arch your back to reach under to unclasp your bra. He marvels at your tits as you kneed them, looking at him in the eyes with lust, “Show me how Spooky fucks, Papi.” The sultry way you say his street name makes him hold your legs against him tighter.

And he pushes himself into you as deep as he can possibly go and out just as fast, hitting your cervix and creating a pleasurable pain that you’ve not experienced before. His hips like a piston, drilling you into his bed so much so that you’re sure there’ll be a indentation when he is done with you.

“Oh. shiiii, mhm.” You moan out, gripping the sheet on the sides of you, biting down on your lip to suppress the moan that is threatening to escape. His low moans isn’t helping you either, you can’t hold it in.

This only makes Oscar grin when you moan out loud and he loves it. “Hm, louder, bebecita. Let them hear how good Spooky fucks you.”

His voice when pleasuring you is an entirely different thing, it added to the already overload of goodness you are receiving from him. Oscar, or Spooky you should say, pushes your legs apart so that he can climb on top of you, him still inside you as you scoot closer to the headboard. Once your head is on the pillows, you rest your legs wider to give him the adequate space he’ll need for a good pounding.

Once his hands grip the headboard, it is game over for you. He is angling his hips to hit spots you never knew you had, deep and slow for one moment and then at speed lighting the next. With the different speeds it leads you feeling the building sensation. It saddened you that you are reaching your peak so quick.

“I-I’m gonna cum.” You tell him and he releases the headboard, sliding his hands underneath you, gripping the flesh of your ass. It confuses you for moment, as he snuggles his face into your neck. But when he begins to drill you into oblivion, you gasp loudly. His low grunts into your ear, his hot breath harshly hitting the side of your neck.

Skin slapping and animalistic groans. Oscar can feel how close you are, your walls squeezing him like a vice, “Fuck, cum. I’m about to.” He mumbles.

As if his wish is your body’s command, the feeling hits you harshly. You clench onto him, your arms hooking under his and nails digging into his back, “Oh! oh! Yes, fuck yes!” The orgasm hits you harder than you expect.

Oscar groans once more before pushing himself up and grabbing himself, pumping his length only for a short moment when his seed spurts onto your slick with sweat torso. His eyes close and head tipped back, “Fuck.”

Still lost in a haze you release a deep breath, maneuvering yourself to get a taste of him. From the source. You take his entire length in his mouth, the after sex sensitivity hitting him, he flinches but watches you swallow him whole.

“Hm, I gotta get you to cum in my mouth next time, hm?” You sit up on your knees and he backs off the bed, handing you a towel to wipe yourself clean, he only laughs.

“Nena, who says we’re done here?”

#Oscar Diaz #oscar spooky diaz #oscar diaz imagine #oscar diaz x reader #oscar diaz x y/n #oscar diaz smut #omb #on my block #on my block imagine #spookysmujer

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hausofmamadas · 2 years

Text

| Gone. Like that |

⁂

Pairing: Mika Camarena & Connie Murphy

Written especially for @kesskirata - Narcos Fanfiction Exchange 2022

Word count: 4K

TWs: Canon-typical violence, major character death, grief/mourning, loss of significant other just like don't fuckin' read this if you're in the middle of grieving the death of a loved one, I implore thee

"But Colombia? It made no sense. It sounded nuts. It was nuts. But it was also something different ... So, she did it. She went nuts."

It's 1991 - six years after Kiki Camarena’s death. His widow Mika Camarena has been living in Colombia for about three years. She’s best friends with Connie Murphy, she's homies with Steve Murphy, she’s made Javi hopelessly smitten with her, and she’s maybe, possibly the only person who can save Steve from ending up worm chow.

⁂

“Kikito can you answer that please? This is the third time they’ve called and given how often your nenita calls, I’m pretty sure it’s not for me."

Kikito closed the fridge with a groan and strode down the hall.

“Don’t you growl at me. And– hey. Don’t stay on too long. You still gotta finish your homework before bed. I don’t have it in me to help you write another essay about Ernest Hemingway or whoever at three am, mijo.”

Mika scrubbed the rust off the pan, wishing the scouring pad on the back of her sponge was steel wool. Or a blowtorch. Connie insisted she’d get used to the weather, but so far, she and her cookware had failed to acclimate to the humidity. The air was so thick, sometimes breathing felt like being water boarded and the kinds of bugs they had would be right at home in National Geographic issue about insects that look like aliens. But even if the tropical weather didn’t agree with her, Colombia did have something Guadalajara didn’t. Connie and Steve had been a godsend. And Javi too … in his own way. Or, he tried at least.

When they finally sat down to eat, Connie kept making faces at her. Mika didn’t know what she was on about but she’d find out later it was related to why Javi was, as Connie said, “on his best behavior” or as Steve put it more colorfully in that homegrown Tennessee drawl, “all minding his Ps and Qs and shit.” But before that? The only thing out of the ordinary that Mika detected was an occasional, well-disguised but evident look of awe that came across Javi’s face whenever she glanced at him, like a kid trying to play it cool while meeting his favorite baseball player. That and the downright robotic way he shook her hand when he said goodbye. You would've thought they’d just closed a great deal on the sale of a condo.

“Right. Ah, thanks for dinner.” He practically ran to his car. The only thing that could’ve made it more awkward was if he’d tacked on ‘ma’am’ at the end.

When they were clearing the table later, Connie finally told her why she was pulling faces all throughout dinner. She had been surprised at Javi’s newfound sense of propriety.

“Look, I’m just shocked he didn’t make a pass at you. I think that says something,” Connie said, handing her a plate.

Mika noted wryly, dunking it into the soapy water, “I think what it says? Is he’s that guy."

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. Javi’s a good guy, he’s just the kind of— where— okay, you know how generally speaking, everyone’s prone to feeling a little lost in life?”

Mika nodded. She had no idea where Connie was going with this, but wherever it was she was intrigued.

“Right. It’s a transient thing. We've all been there, we get it." Her voice shot up half an octave, "Let's just say being lost is a permanent destination for Javi? And uh, like a kid looking for his mom in a supermarket, he grabs onto any woman’s skirt in the hopes it’ll help him find his way.”

Mika laughed at the way Connie threw up her hands, like she was giving up, stumped by the exceedingly complex math problem that was Javier Peña.

“I feel like that’s a really long-winded way of saying he's a lost cause.”

Connie shook her head, “Mm, see that just doesn’t fully convey the true depth, the scope of 'lost' that I’m talking about here.”

“Huh. Well, since it seems like he is that guy,” Mika turned to look at her reflection in the microwave, “I don’t know what I did wrong. Shoot, I guess I styled my hair a little differently today. Or, I mean— I know I put on a couple pounds in the last couple of months - y'know too much arequipe - but damn, I didn’t know it was that bad.”

Connie’s laugh sounded more like a screech. She snapped the dish towel at Mika. “Oh, c’mon! You know that’s not what I mean.”

Mika doubled down, chuckling, “Well sure, you’re my friend. That’s what you’re supposed to say.”

“You’re just going to watch me dig this grave aren’t you.”

“What? I’m right there with you, manita,” a sly grin spread across her face, “handing you the shovel.”

Connie smiled and scrunched her nose, twisting the dish towel in her hands like she was going to snap it again.

“Let’s go, guera. I can take you,” Mika threw her hands up and cocked her head, channeling the teenage-wannabe, Calexico cholita she was back in the day.

They both giggled. Connie bumped Mika’s hip with hers, “One of these days, cabrona.”

“Ey, there we go. You pick things up that quick, I’ll have you talking like a real chola in no time. Steve won’t know what to do with you.”

Connie murmured, “The better to scare him with,” a cheeky smile on her face.

“Yeah, show him who really wears the pants because he loves that so much.”

“As if he could ever forget.”

Mika wagged her eyebrows up and down knowingly, “True.” She turned off the faucet and wiped her hands on her jeans.

Connie tossed the dish towel by the sink and hopped up to sit on the counter, “No, but seriously, I only bring it up because Javi— well, he fancies himself some kind of Casanova. I call it a bad substitute for therapy. And I’m sorry but you’re exactly his type. Brown-eyed, brunette knockout. A smart, resilient, kind-yet-uncompromising woman,” she suddenly lowered her voice like a she was narrating a movie trailer and leaned forward, “with a dark past and a deep well of sadness.”

Mika threw her head back and laughed.

“No! But I’m serious!”

Connie busted up too, both laughing so hard until they were gasping for air. Steve walked into the dining room tucking his shirt in, eyes squinting, cigarette planted firmly between his lips, wearing the look of a perpetually confused and disgruntled man. He leaned on the counter of the breakfast nook, waiting expectantly. Connie and Mika just stared at him, then looked at each other and cut up all over again.

"Is anyone gonna let me in on the joke here, or are we cracking up 'cause I'm the joke?"

Mike teased, "I don't know Steve, maybe if you'd stayed and helped us clean up, you'd be in on the joke. I thought they were all about manners in the South."

Connie composed herself with one of those long, drawn out laugh-sighs and leaned over, putting a consolatory hand on Steve's cheek, "Oooh, no it's not you. Not now, anyway. No, this time, the punchline is Javi."

Steve's cigarette bobbed a bit as his tense jaw and pursed lips relaxed into a sly smirk. "Shoot, that's some of my favorite stand-up material. Guess I should've stayed and helped y'all after all. Lemme guess, y'all are discussing that school-boy crush he's desperately trying to squash."

"Actually, Connie seemed to be suggesting the opposite. He's the kind of guy who'd hit on a rock, but he didn't put the moves on me. So, it can only be concluded I am an unsightly, old wench."

"That is not what I was saying and you know it!" Connie play-smacked her in the arm.

Steve leaned back, eyes wide with mock shock, "Connie, how is that any way to treat your friend? And a widow at that?"

He looked at Mika, chuckling out a puff of smoke. Her nose scrunched as she giggled and high-fived him.

"You can't co-opt my friend with humor and Southern charm, Steve. I won't stand for it."

"Look baby, you set up such a perfect shot —can't expect me to let that one go."

Connie threw up her hands and swept them around in a semi-circle, "May I just remind everyone that I was the one who thought they should meet. I didn't expect Javi to suddenly grow a conscience and adopt the manners of a 1950s house-husband."

"He was a little uptight, wasn't he," Steve mused. "Poor little guy, just don't know what to do with himself."

That’s when Mika finally realized what Connie was trying to say. Javi was awkward, but he was on his best behavior for a reason. Despite the fact that he never knew Kiki and despite the fact that apparently anything with a pulse was fair game, it seemed Javi respected Kiki too much to let his playboy antics to get the best of him, almost like making a pass at Mika would’ve been an affront to his memory. It was naive but well-intentioned. It was also sweet in a way that made Mika want to lock herself in a closet and cry for days.

The truth was, Javi didn’t need to shut anything down. The mainframe broke a long time ago. Because no matter who it was or how hard they tried, it just wasn't Kiki. It didn't matter what all those self-help books said about grief, how "it got better with time," how "the load would lighten, float away a little more each day," enough time had passed now that she knew she’d never stop missing him like he’d just left.

Without him, no place on earth was ever going to feel like home. But Connie and Steve came close. They tethered her to reality the same way Jaime and Ana did back in Guadalajara. After Kiki was killed, Guadalajara of course wasn’t the same but Jaime and Ana took her in like she was family. So, when Jaime eventually got transferred after a couple of years, and they had to move to El Paso, the city felt downright alien. Nothing looked real and each mundane reminder of the empty space where Kiki used to be began to disassemble her, piece by piece: their favorite open-air market, favorite restaurant with the homemade, hand-pressed corn tortillas, favorite little, date-night, divey cantina, the route through the neighborhood they used to take Danny for walks in his stroller, the too-big, King-sized bed with that hideous palm-tree bedspread he hated, the one his mother gave them for their anniversary one year. Worse yet, the void of Kiki was starting to replace him, memories of precious moments going fuzzy at the edges more and more each day.

At first, she thought maybe she’d go back to Calexico. Until she realized surely, there would be little echoes of him, them, in their hometown. It would’ve been just as bad. Probably worse. She never considered Colombia until Jaime brought it up.

“Yeah, it’s a hotbed of cartel activity, fixin’ to be a war zone over there,” all pecan pie in that Southern drawl of his, “what with that Escobar at odds with the Colombian government on extradition and such.”

“Jaime. Ugh—” Mika let out a huff as she struggled to untangle the telephone cord, “you’re not really selling me on this whole Colombia idea. Why the hell would I want to live in a war zone?”

Jaime’s laugh always filled her with warmth and relief. “Look, I’m not saying it’s Sandals Resort in La Paz by any means, but you don’t want to come here to El Paso which—” he said with more than a hint of irreverence, “heck, understandable. You can’t go back to Calexico. You certainly can’t stay in Guadalajara. Maybe it could be a new adventure for you guys. With all the action, you’re bound to find some community there. ‘Sides,” he concluded dryly, “it’s not like Guadalajara has been a pacifist utopia these days.”

By community, Mika knew he meant DEA. An interesting point, given it was really the only one she’d known for several years. But Colombia? It made no sense. It sounded nuts. It was nuts. But Jaime was right, it was something different. She tried to dampen the budding hope that she might live in a place that wouldn’t haunt her. A place where maybe she could be closer to Kiki than the absence of him. And, Jaime was three for three because Guadalajara really wasn’t the ‘burbs. She’d stayed somewhat for practical reasons, to keep things like school consistent for the boys. But the other part of staying, Mika reasoned, was to raise them in a place where they’d stay connected to their heritage, their father, know where they came from. An environment with a diversity of people from all walks of life, so they could see that not everyone had what they had, so they could see and understand the harsh truths of the world before being stuck in it alone. Some of that could be achieved in a place like Colombia. So, she went nuts. She did it.

They’d only been there a few months when she happened to meet Connie at one of the colonia’s many farmer’s markets. Danny had been wandering around looking at all the exotic fruit and handmade wares when he saw a girl about his age, in denim overalls and a pageboy haircut, looking at the dream-catchers. He and Livvy made fast friends. He tugged on the hem of Mika’s jacket, “mama, venga a conocer mi nueva amiga,” pulling her closer and closer to Olivia and a no-nonsense blonde woman, swearing at one of the vendors in broken Spanish. From what Mika gathered, it seemed like they were haggling but the guy running the stand wasn’t being straight with her, trying to take advantage of who he thought was a clueless gringa.

“Estas haciendo pasar un mal ratito a mí amiga?” >*Are you giving my friend a hard time?*

The slimy little man and Connie were both startled. The man’s eyes darted to Mika and then down at the ground, as he adjusted the brim of his faded baseball cap and sputtered. “No señora, solo estaba—”

She cut him off, grabbing the dream-catcher they were haggling over.

“Pues, a esto se debe todo el revuelo? Pinshe huevon, lo podría hacer por la mitad que estás cobrarle. Una gabacha y con su niña? En serio pues, guey?” She held up the trinket. “I’ll spell it out for you. We’re taking this, sin cargo alguno. Estamos pues?” > *All the fuss over this? Fucking moron, I could make this for half the price you’re charging her. A foreigner, with her kid? Really, dude? I’ll spell it out for you. We’re taking this, free-of-charge. Got it?*

He jiggled his head up and down in agreement.

She handed it to the blonde woman, who smiled smugly at the guy. Mika stifled a laugh when the guera offered him her fakest, “muchas gracias.”

They walked out onto the pebbled street together, Danny and Livvy skipping ahead, playfully shoving one another.

“Oh my god, thank you. You have no idea how long I’ve been arguing with that asshole. I’m Connie by the way.”

“Mika.” She shook Connie’s outstretched hand and smiled warmly. “Honestly, I’m just happy to see another expat from the States. Colombians aren’t especially welcoming to us Chicanos I’ve learned. The combination of gringo and Mexican is really not— tsk tsk." She cut the air with her hand the way film directors do.

“Oh no, so you're like Double Jeopardy. But wait— I mean, I know I stick out like a sore thumb with my half-assed Spanish. But how can they even tell you’re not Colombian when you’re not speaking English?”

Mika chuckled sarcastically, “it’s the brand of Spanish that gives me away. Every country kind of has its own brand. One of the dead giveaways that I’m not Colombian is the lack of ‘vos’ but what really gives the Mexicana away are things like ‘chela’ and ‘chinga.'”

Connie looked at her with blank curiosity.

“Chela is like cerveza, just means beer, but a very Mexican thing. And I think I heard you say ‘puta madre’ back there? In Mexico, more often it’s ‘chingada madre.’”

Connie laughed, “wow, so your version of ‘motherfucker’ is as neon a sign as my gringo Spanish and Disney-princess blonde hair.”

“Ha, sorta yeah. Well, close. I mean, no matter what Mexican slang I throw around, they at least know they can’t get one over on me like that guy just tried to do with you. So, you’ve probably dealt with more bullshit. That’s is why I butted in —can’t stand crap like that.”

“My husband’s partn— mm— one of my husband’s coworkers speaks English and Spanish. I’ve asked him to teach me but trying to get that guy to do anything you want him— well, or don’t want him to do,” Connie whistled, “phew, in one ear and out the other.”

“Classic. Sounds like a keeper.” When Connie didn’t say anything, Mika clarified nervously, “Sorry, the coworker. Not your husband.”

Connie laughed, “Oh no, I wasn’t— sorry, I just stuck a piece of gum in my mouth. No, trust me,” she spoke quietly now, like she was revealing trade secrets on the stock exchange floor, “I love Steve, don’t get me wrong. But I am well acquainted with what a grade-A ass he can be.”

“Oh, no kidding! Glad to know I’m not the only one who knows what it’s like to be married to a lovable grade-A ass.”

“Oh yes,” Connie swept her hand out next to her in a presentation-like gesture, “welcome to the support group. So far it’s just me, but uh— Hey! It reeks of stale liquor and cigarettes and the coffee’s barely drinkable, so I’m sure there’ll be more butts in these seats soon.”

That lit both of them up. Before they knew it, they were wheezing those noiseless laughs with no air left. Danny looked back at them, “What’s so funny?”

“Aw mijo, it’s too hard to explain. Don’t worry about it.”

When they settled down, Connie noticed Mika’s left hand. “You said 'be married to a lovable, grade-A ass.' Was that past-tense?”

Mika nodded gravely.

“Can I ask what happened?"

Mika looked down at the ground, watching her feet stepping on the cracks of the pebbled street as if they weren't her own

Connie ventured nervously, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to pry. You have full license to tell me to fuck off, if you don’t want to talk about it.”

Mika smiled softly, without joy, “He died.”

She worried her impassiveness made Connie uncomfortable, but she figured out years ago that if she allowed herself to really feel every time she answered the question, she’d never stop screaming.

“Oh gosh, forgive— I didn’t mean— Fuck. I’m just ... I'm so sorry.”

They walked in silence for a bit, watching Livvy and Danny dodging between the crowds of shoppers ahead, playing some kind of make-believe game about pirates it sounded like. Mika gave a small, sad smile and a nod to reassure Connie she’d done nothing wrong. If anything, she was grateful that Connie didn’t ask how Kiki died. She wasn’t ready to be Mika Camarena, Kiki Camarena’s widow just yet. Eventually, she’d have to give up the ghost and put that mourning veil on again, but she was relieved Connie didn’t force it on her. For now, she was simply Mika.

In some ways, that was the first sign of an almost innate mutual understanding between them. When Connie eventually discovered who Mika really was after spotting a stray bill left out on the kitchen table, she was able to finally tell the truth about Steve. That no, he was not in fact a “janitorial services professional” for the US embassy building, but a DEA agent. And the infamous janitor “coworker” who wouldn’t teach her Spanish was actually his partner, Javier Peña. That revelation only expanded their mutual understanding into a kind of easy shorthand, so that, despite the fact they hadn’t known each other long, Mika and Connie knew each other.

That’s why it felt like such a knife to the gut, when Kikito rushed in with the phone in his hand. “Mom, mom, mom,” she could tell he was scared. “It’s Connie. I can’t understand what she’s saying, she’s crying.”

Mika took the phone, trying her best not to look alarmed. She didn’t want to frighten Kikito more than he was already.

She kept her voice, low and calm, “Connie? What happened?”

Connie was lucid but hysterical, “Steve’s gone. I don’t know where he is. No one’s seen him anyw— anywhere for several hours. Javi just left. He didn’t tell me—” She trailed off, choked by the force of her own panicked sobs.

No. Not again. This was not was happening again. Not after Kiki. She couldn’t abide a world that would put someone else through everything she went through. What he went through. The memory of his mangled body on that cold metal slab hit her again; all caked in mud, riddled with cuts and burns, pieces of rebar still stuck in the wounds on his head, his swollen, bruised face barely recognizable yet still her Kiki all the same. Sometimes, she felt it would’ve been easier if he’d been completely unrecognizable.

Mika squeezed her temples - think - then covered the receiver. “Mijo, go get your brother dressed, pack a bag, and call Laura, her phone number's on the fridge. Tell her there’s an emergency and ask if you guys can stay there. Livvy too. I'll explain the rest in the car.” Kikito skittered off down the hallway. “And hey! Don’t forget your toothbrushes. The overnight bag is in my closet on the top shelf. Just use my office chair if you can’t reach it.”

She took her hand off the receiver. “Okay Connie, how long as he been missing?"

"I— I don't even know. You know how it is on the job. It's— " she sniffled, voice growing thick again with tears, "It's not a regular nine to five."

"Do you know who the last person to see him was?"

"We think it was the Agent in Charge at the embassy. The older lady who wears the Miss Piggy make-up. But— I do—" she broke down again, sobbing into the receiver, "I don't even know for sure."

"Hmm." Mika chewed on the inside of her cheek, "Before he left, did Javi tell you where he looked so far? I'm sure he checked all of Steve’s normal, routine stops, but did he check places they go to meet their C.I.s, has he talked to any of the informants? Did he check the hospitals? Churches? Shelters? Morgues?”

Connie sucked in a huge breath and exhaled slowly. A few heartbreaking stray whimpers escaped the back of her throat.

“No, he didn’t say much and he left before I could ask him anything. All he said was that he thinks Steve’s alive, but … all that really means,” her voice broke again, “is he’s not certain he’s dead yet.”

“Listen to me. I need you to breathe. You have every right to be upset, and unlike those smug, patronizing assholes that you’re gonna inevitably have to talk to at the embassy or the DEA, I mean it with every fiber of my being. But right now, you need to have your wits about you.”

“Okay?” The sound of Connie’s voice, hoarse and confused, nearly broke Mika. It took everything not to burst into tears herself.

“We’re going to have to deal with this on our own. No federales, no Search Bloc, no DEA, no Martinez, no Javi.”

“What? Even no Javi? Why?”

“Because as much as they all mean well,” Mika chuckled with an apocalyptic edge and punctuated each word, “All they’ll do is lie.”

Connie said nothing.

“They’ll lie to save face. They’ll lie because they think it’ll protect Steve. And they’ll lie to protect you because they think you can’t take it. And because they don’t want to deal with the ‘hassle’ of your tears, your sadness, your rage.” Mika sighed the whole weight of the world, “All they’ll do is lie. And that? What they project as compassion or strength that’s really a pretense for apathy? That’s a death sentence.”

Mika waited for Connie to speak. She didn’t. Praying she wasn’t catatonic, Mika continued, “But it doesn’t have to be. No one’s contacted you, the embassy, or the DEA for ransom, so whoever it is doesn't want money. And anyone in the game who wanted him dead, no matter which side of the law, would’ve shot him walking to his car and left him somewhere. He’d be gone,” Mika snapped her fingers, “like that. So, Steve is probably alive. For now.”

Neither of them said his name. The silence was already heavy with it. But Connie knew what they did to Kiki, every gory detail. She was probably picturing Steve right now, battered and bloody, tied to a chair in some dank shed in the middle of the jungle. The irony that Steve was probably alive, and that it wasn’t much more consolation than knowing he was dead, struck Mika painfully.

"Okay." Connie blew her nose and took another breath, this one more even, chilled by determination. “What do we do.”

“I need you to get a piece of paper and something to write with.” She waited patiently through scuffling sounds as Connie fiddled with the receiver.

“Okay, got it.”

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

Mika recited the number.

“Who’s this for?”

“It’s the number for the DEA field office in El Paso. Now, you need to wake up Livvy and get ready to leave. Kikito’s calling my neighbor Laura. She and her mom can take the kids. Wait for me outside your place. Listen to me very carefully. If I’m not there within a half an hour and you can’t get ahold of me? Call that number and ask for Special Agent in Charge Jaime Kuykendall or Agent Walt Breslin. Do not let them pass you off to receptionist or another agent. You have to talk to one of them.”

Connie asked breathlessly, “Wait, Mika. Who are they? And where would you— Why wouldn’t I be able to get ahol—”

“They’re people who’ll know what to do.” Mika stared at the spine of Kikito’s battered copy of Charlotte’s Web on the living-room bookshelf. “But more importantly, they’ll tell you the truth. Now c’mon manita, we don’t have any time to waste. Every second counts. I’ll see you soon.”

⁂

#Mika Camarena & Connie Murphy #Connie Murphy & Mika Camarena #connie murphy #mika camarena #javi peña #steve murphy #Narcos/Narcos Mexico crossover AU #narcos #narcos mexico #narcos imagine #narcos mexico imagine #Narcos Fanfiction Exchange 2022 #javi is a ho always and forever #but mans has standard's when it comes to hitting on dead fellow DEA agent's wife #so like ... go javi?#HOWMEVER #if i were to continue this ...#which i won't because i have no fucking idea where tf to take it...#but if i did ... you bet your bottom dollar i'd find a way to make Javi/Mika happen #could she fix him? ... hell no #would it be hot and probably accidentally hilarious if she tried? ... you do the math #would there be limitless bickering wherein javi realizes that he's wrong about everything? ... what do you take me for #oh also if you really wanna ruin your day #go ahead and pull up the Nmx soundtrack on apple music or spotify or wherever tf #scroll on down to a little ditty called 'Charlotte's Web' and throw that bitch on about halfway thru the fic #it will wre- aherm make your fuckin day

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sawyid · 3 years

Text

LOST character headcanons

here's a comprehensive list of my pronoun, gender, sexuality, and relationship headcanons for just about all the characters! this post will not have any spoilers.

when i say "with:" and list a BUNCH of people it doesn't necessarily mean that i think they're dating all of those people. by "with" it could mean anywhere from "dating and in love with" to "they banged once" lol. ill elaborate on which is which, tho. keep in mind i think that everyone on the island was definitely VERY sexually active and didn't give a fuck about keeping it a secret. i mean, they were all surviving on a deadly island together— why bother keeping secrets?

alex

she/they trans girl

bisexual

maybe polyamorous?

with: karl 🥺 they love each other so much

amy (goodspeed)

she/they gnc woman

lesbian

polyamorous

with: definitely dated juliet for a while while they had the chance, maybe even started crushing on kate

ana lucia

she/he/they/it gnc woman

lesbian as FUCK

monogamous maybe 🤔⁉️

with: maybe had/has a thing with kate? other than that i don't really know who she's compatible with

ben

he/it nonbinary (masc aligned)

gay aromantic

monogamous

dating john 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

bernard

he/him trans man

the only valid straight mf on the show

monogamous

married to rose

boone

he/she gnc man

SO SO SO VERY GAY

polyamorous

with: charlie, hurley, jin, michael, sawyer, sayid. id like to think he's dating all of them. maybe started off as a fwb thing but developed into more than that (looking at sawyer specifically)

cassidy phillips (sawyer's "long con")

she/her trans woman

lesbian

polyamorous

with: her and kate definitely had/have a thing

claire

she/they cis woman

bisexual

polyamorous

with: charlie, desmond, hurley, kate, sun. she's dating all of them! she's probably been ... intimate with desmond a handful of times too because they're both dating charlie. hurley is gay and not attracted to women, but he's definitely been in bed with claire a ton of times considering they're both in love with charlie.

charlie

he/they/pup pupgender trans masc

bisexual

so unbelievably polyamorous

with: oh good god here we go... claire, desmond, hurley, boone, eko, jin, michael, sawyer, aaaaand sayid! he loves them all so so dearly! i think he and sawyer definitely started out as fwb (like boone and sawyer). i just think charlie is very quick to fall head over heels. i love him so much 🥺

charlotte

she/it/they trans woman

lesbian

monogamous

naomi is her girlfriend

daniel (faraday)

he/they nonbinary trans masc

gay

polyamorous

with: desmond, hurley, jin, michael, miles, sawyer, sayid. he and desmond are CLASSIC soulmates. i mean, they literally invented the concept of the constant. they're so deeply in love that it's different from his other boyfriends. i honestly think he's also very quick to develop feelings! he and charlie totally would've been in love.

desmond

he/him gnc man

bisexual

polyamorous

with: claire, charlie, daniel, eko, hurley, jin, michael, miles, penny, richard, sawyer, sayid. i'd say charlie, daniel, and penny are the absolute loves of his life. i feel like everyone else he's definitely slept with on a few occasions at the very least. he and sayid are definitely boyfriends. hurley too <3

dogen

he/they gnc man

gay

monogamous

with: lennon

edward mars (the us marshal)

he/him cis man

straight, but maybe did a little experimenting in college ;)

monogamous

eko

he/they gnc man

bisexual

polyamorous

with: claire, charlie, desmond, hurley, jin, kate, michael, sawyer, sayid. of the people here, he's dating charlie, jin, michael, and sawyer. everyone else he had been intimate with/intimate at the same time as his boyfriends because of mutual partners lol.

ethan rom

he/him cis man

straight aromantic

monogamous

frank (lapidus)

he/him cis man

gay

non monogamous

with: richard :) and he's probably done it with dan, miles, michael, sawyer, and sayid a few times

horace (goodspeed)

he/they trans gener maybe 🤔

gay

polyamorous

with: pierre. sawyer and him for sure dated lol. and i'd imagine hurley, jin, and miles were never too busy to help out ;)

hurley

he/they/xe gnc amab dude

gay

polyamorous

with: boone, claire, charlie, daniel, desmond, eko, jin, michael, miles, sawyer, sayid. now with hurley i do think he was dating or at least crushing on everyone here. he has a lot of intimate experiences with these guys when they get together to have fun with charlie. maybe not eko so much? but idk i still think they'd be cute together. but his soulmates are charlie and miles. hurley is gay and not attracted to women, but he's definitely been in bed with claire a ton of times considering they're both in love with charlie.

jacob

he/him cis man

straight aromantic asexual

jack

i REALLY want to just say cishet, but i don't think that's entiiireellyy true... just cus i hate him doesn't mean i can ignore the truth

he/him cis man

bisexual but the type of mf to call himself "heteroflexible" or "heteroromantic bisexual" lmaoo 💀

monogamous

dating nobody ❤️ live alone and die alone ❤️

jae-young lee (sun's friend/ex boyfriend)

he/him cis man

gay

monogamous

with: that "girl" he went to meet in america was actually a guy and theyre gay lovers 😼

jin

he/him cis man

gay

polyamorous

with: boone, charlie, daniel, desmond, eko, horace, hurley, michael, miles, sawyer, sayid. he's just dating everyone here end of story. he and michael are soulmates tho 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

juliet

she/they/fae nonbinary (neutral) + gnc

lesbian

polyamorous

with: claire, kate, sun. they're all dating each other :>

karl

he/xe trans boy

bisexual

monogamous methinks 🤔 or maybe would be considered "non monogamous" because i think he'd be totally cool with alex also dating someone else alongside him

with: alex

kate

she/they woman

VERY bisexual

VERY polyamorous

with: claire, juliet, sun, sawyer. dating all of em! fuck jack all my homies hate jack.

lennon

he/him cis man

gay

monogamous

with: dogen

libby

she/they gnc woman

lesbian

monogamous idk

she was very obviously written into the show as the "romantic interest that hurley didn't have" but everything she does is some shit charlie would do. she's like charlie's cis-sona.

locke

he/him trans man

bi with a preference for men

monogamous

dating ben 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

man in black

they/he nonbinary masc

pansexual (aromantic)

monogamous

michael

he/him cis man

gay

polyamorous

with: boone, charlie, daniel, desmond, eko, hurley, jin, miles, sawyer, sayid. dating everyone!

mikhail

he/him cis man

gay

monogamous

miles

he/they trans man

bisexual

polyamorous

with: claire, daniel, desmond, horace, hurley, jin, kate, michael, richard, sawyer, sayid. i think of him as charlie 2 in that he is also a whore (/pos). he fucks to survive. BUT he is also in love with all these people. other than horace maybe, that was just a fwb thing. and i don't think he and kate dated but they've definitely fucked considering they're both dating sawyer, same thing with claire

naomi (dorrit)

she/her trans woman

lesbian

monogamous

with: charlotte

nikki

she/they cis woman

straight

monogamous

with: paulo!

nour abbed "nadia" jazeem

she/her cis woman

lesbian

monogamous

paulo

he/him cis man

bisexual

monogamoius

with: nikki

penny

she/her cis woman

bisexual

non monogamous

with: just desmond! but she loves her husband's boyfriends endlessly and has definitely been involved in the bedroom with them sometimes too

pierre

he/him cis man

bisexual

polyamorous

with: horace and lara (chang, miles's mom)

richard

he/they gnc man

gay

non monogamous?

with: he's dating frank and miles, but has also been intimate with desmond, hurley, jin, sawyer, and sayid because of mutual boyfriends.

rose

she/her cis woman

bisexual

monogamous

married to bernard

rousseau

she/her trans woman

lesbian

monogamous

sawyer

he/him cis man

he is also VERY bisexual

also violently polyamorous

with: boone, claire, charlie, daniel, desmond, eko, frank, hurley, jin, kate, michael, miles, richard, sayid. i think the only people here he isn't dating are claire, frank, and richard.

sayid

he/him, maybe he/they, gnc man

gay

polyamorous

with: boone, charlie, daniel, desmond, eko, hurley, jin, michael, miles, richard, sawyer. dating all of them! he's also been intimate with a kate pretty often for reasons that stay between sawyer, kate, and himself <3

sun

she/they trans woman

lesbian

polyamorous

with: claire, juliet, kate. dating all.

tom brennan (kate's childhood boyfriend)

he/him trans man

gay

monogamous

walt

he/they trans masc

he's a kid so im not going to headcanon a solid sexuality as that would be weird lol. some kind of mlm tho

extra: i care about him so much he doesn't get enough attention in the fanbase :( my bb had so much potential and the writers just decided to ignore him :/

shannon

she/her female

heterosexual

monogamous

with: nobody. ever. die. die a painful painful death millions of times over again

THE END !

that shit took forever to type out holy FUCK.

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