#hope i can restart therapy

[schiz-void]

I finally got an official diagnosis for Szpd.

#actually szpd #szpd #she also reconfirm adhd-pi #and said ive got mild anxiety and depression #hope i can restart therapy

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

Let's Talk About That Chapter 1

Psychiatrist!Avenger!Fem!Reader × Wanda Maximoff

Summary: You are the young psychiatrist for the Avengers, and you take your job very seriously, but what happens when Wanda joins the team, turning your life upside down?

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: legal age gap r is 19 w is 25, talks of death and grief, a bit of angst, therapy sessions

A/N: I had this idea for a while and wrote it a while ago, but spruced it up for publishing. I hope you enjoy it!

May 7th-10th 2015

The only sounds to be heard were the scratches of your pen against paper as you wrote down notes the old fashioned way and the hum of the AC unit installed in your office. Tony let you have a nice corner of the tower where there was sunlight and windows. You had gone with a soft gray for the walls, an L-shaped mahogany desk that had both a desktop computer and your laptop. Across from your desk was two couches and a coffee table between them with an assortment of fidget toys, a succulent, a handful of magazines, and a box of tissues. 

Everyone had been away on an important mission and normally you’d go with, but you'd been recovering from a previous injury, you still are when you hear a knock on your door, 

"Open." You let them know and just from their aura you can tell it's Tasha, but she's with someone else, an aura you don't recognize. You look up to find a girl with chestnut colored hair, and a dark aura around her. "Hey Tash. I'm glad you're all home safe. I'm assuming we'll restart our sessions?" You ask the red head. 

"Yes. We can resume them. Tomorrow. Today I need you to have a talk with this one." Tasha helps her into the room and gestures for her to sit down, Tasha walks over and hands you a large file. "She came from HYDRA, they had a lot of info on her, she had joined us in the fight against Ultron." Tasha tells you before lowering her voice, "She lost her twin brother during the battle. So maybe you can get her to talk." You smile at Tasha and then look past the red head. 

"Yeah of course we shouldn't have any issues Tash. Leave it to me." You tell her as I adjust your glasses, quickly looking over her file as Tasha exits, closing the door behind her, "Wanda Maximoff, 25, born in Sokovia." You say out loud as you walk around your desk to the other couch across from where she's sitting criss-cross. You take notice she's taken her shoes off and smile, taking note of the fact that she’s comfortable enough to do something like that. "I'm Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. I'm 19. I'm also an Avenger. I have a power that allows me to see auras and emotions. I can also influence people's emotions and use my voice to influence others around me." You tell her a little about yourself first to help make her comfortable with talking about herself.

"You're 19? How are you a doctor?" She finally talks and you can hear her thick Sokovian accent which is like music to your ears. 

"I'm very smart. Graduated high school at 12 finished my Doctorate last year for psychiatry and Tony took me in as the Avengers Psychiatrist shortly after that. Everyone here needs a little bit of help and that is what I'm here to provide for you." You smile at her as you open a fresh notebook for her, choosing a red covered one noticing that she was wearing Tasha’s red leather jacket. "So tell me a little about yourself. Anything you want." You ask as you jot down her basic info on the first page. 

"I love American sitcoms." she tells you first. You smile and look at her over your glasses. 

"Why is that?" You ask as you jot down her words. 

"We used to watch them as a family every night so we could learn English." She tells you making a smile appear on your face. 

"When you say we who does that entail?" You question the Sokovian wanting to get to the root of her problems. 

"My Mama, Papa, and Pietro..." She tells you solemnly. 

"Who is Pietro?" You inquire, looking up from your notebook. 

"He is...was...my twin brother." You jot down everything she says during your session and she does open up a little bit with some persuasion on your part, but that isn't unusual for your sessions. 

"Well Wanda thank you for opening up to me. Your aura is looking a little warmer from when you first walked in. How about you come back in three days for another session?" You tilt your head as you grab a little card for her. 

"Why three days?" She asks nervously, tugging at her sleeves attempting to cover her hands, but the jacket doesn't budge. She starts picking at her nails as an alternative, chipping the black nail polish further. 

"I like to have frequent sessions the first month. Then we'll have them weekly just like the others." You let her know and she nods her head as you write the date and time for her to show up on the card for three days from now. Standing up with her, "I offer a high fives, hand shakes, fist bumps, or a hug at the end of sessions. Which would you like?" You ask and she's thrown off a bit by the statement at first but then answers. 

"Hug. I could use a hug right now." You open up your arms and let her come to you. She ends up crying in your arms as you sooth her, letting her know it is okay to cry. 

"I'll always be here for you Wanda. I'm always on your side." You whisper to her and she holds you tighter at the words.

You sat back down at your desk after Wanda left, feeling a mix of emotions swirling within you. Empathy for Wanda's pain, determination to help her heal, and a lingering sense of dread about what HYDRA had done to her. But you pushed those feelings aside, focusing on the task at hand.

As the Avengers' psychiatrist, it was your responsibility to help your teammates navigate the mental and emotional toll of their work. Sometimes that meant delving into painful memories or difficult emotions, but it was a role you took on willingly. After all, you had your own share of struggles, and if you could use your powers to help others, then it was worth it.

You glanced at the clock and realized it was almost time for lunch. You decided to take a break and head to the common area, where you found Tony tinkering with one of his suits.

"Hey, Y/N," he greeted you with a grin. "How's it going?"

"Good," you replied, sinking into a nearby chair. "Just had a session with Wanda. She's been through a lot."

Tony nodded solemnly. "Yeah, losing her brother and all that HYDRA stuff... it's rough."

You sighed, running a hand through your Y/H/C hair. "Yeah, but she's strong. I think she'll come through it."

Tony gave you a reassuring smile before returning to his work, and you took a moment to appreciate the camaraderie of the team. Despite your differences and the challenges you guys faced, you were a family, bound together by our shared experiences and our commitment to protecting the world.

After a quick lunch, you headed back to your office to prepare for your next session. As you reviewed your notes from Wanda's session, you couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to her story, something hidden beneath the surface. But for now, all you could do was continue to offer her support and hope that she would find the strength to confront her demons and emerge stronger on the other side.

With that thought in mind, you square your shoulders and prepare to face whatever challenges lay ahead. As an Avenger, a psychiatrist, and a friend, you were ready to do whatever it took to help your teammates and protect the world from whatever threats may come our way.

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

Three days passed in a blur of meetings, training sessions, and the occasional emergency mission. But today, you were back in your office, eagerly awaiting Wanda's return for your second session. As you sat at your desk, reviewing your notes from your previous meeting, you couldn't help but feel a surge of empathy for her. Losing a loved one in battle was something you could relate to all too well.

Before you could dwell too much on your own past, there was a soft knock on your door, and Wanda stepped into the room. Her aura seemed a bit brighter today, though still tinged with sadness. "Hey, Wanda," you greeted her with a warm smile, motioning for her to take a seat. "How are you feeling today?"

Wanda hesitated for a moment before answering, "Better, I think. Thank you for... everything last time."

You nodded, understandingly. "Of course. It's what I'm here for." You gestured toward the notebook on the table. "Shall we pick up where we left off?"

For the next hour, the two of you delved deeper into Wanda's past, her memories of Sokovia, her time with HYDRA, and her experiences with her brother, Pietro. With each word she spoke, you could feel her emotions swirling around you, and you did your best to guide her through them, offering comfort and support where you could.

As your session came to a close, Wanda seemed visibly lighter, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Thank you, Y/N," she said softly, wiping away a stray tear. "I didn't realize how much I needed this."

You smiled back, feeling a sense of fulfillment wash over you. "Anytime, Wanda. Remember, I'm always here for you."

Before she left, Wanda surprises you by reaching out and giving you a tight hug. "Thank you," she repeated, her voice thick with emotion.

As you watched her leave your office, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the opportunity to help someone in need, to make a difference in their life, even if it was just one session at a time. And as you glanced down at the Power Stone embedded in your chest, you couldn't help but wonder if perhaps this was the true source of your ability to connect with others on such a deep level. But for now, all that mattered was that you were making a difference, one session at a time.

#ley speaks #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #wanda maximoff smut #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff fluff #ley writes #wanda x reader #wanda x you

[sometimesanalice]

Like I Can (Part 3)

Summary: After yet another bad date and tired of swiping on apps, the Dagger Squad steps in to help you out by setting you up on a series of blind dates. Much to Rooster’s dismay.

Warnings: fluff, swearing, slight angst. Minors DNI

Length: 7.2K

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw X Female Reader

Part 1 | Part 2

(All’s well that ends well❣️ Enjoy!)

You’d been on edge all day. 

Having slept terribly the night before, you’d woken up early and giving up on the idea of going back to sleep had ended up at a sunrise yoga class, hoping that some movement would help you clear your mind. By the end of the hour you were even more frustrated than you were before you arrived, the poses feeling unnaturally forced instead of flowing seamlessly as they usually did. 

So much for some goddamn inner peace.

Work was even worse. You had arrived to find that the espresso machine was broken. And whoever made a pot on the ancient drip machine, that was undoubtedly pulled out of a dingy storage closet somewhere, clearly hated everyone else since it tasted like tar. You could barely focus enough to clear out your inbox, when your work nemesis started breathing down your neck about a proposal that wasn’t due for another two weeks. 

Time was dragging on. And every time you looked at the clock thinking it had been at least an hour since you’d last checked, were continually shocked to see that barely fifteen minutes had passed by. Thankfully it was Friday, so your boss didn’t care when you called it a day and left at lunch. It was better for everyone this way.

You had tried painting your nails, but didn’t have the patience to let them dry and smudged them trying to open a package of crackers. Ignoring the crumbs that got everywhere as you ate them while working the cotton pad over the remnants of your pretty pink polish. Your new favorite show didn’t hold your attention like it usually did and you found yourself mindlessly scrolling on your phone, missing most of the plot you’d had to restart it. Twice.

Not even the scenic drive along the coast to the restaurant you were supposed to meet your date at had done anything to alleviate your nerves.

You had been surprised at the choice of location when you had received the text message with the information about this particular date. As much as you enjoyed going to the Hard Deck, you were very much looking forward to drinking something other than a beer. Sure, Penny could make a mean spicy margarita, but sometimes an overpriced aesthetically pleasing cocktail just hit the spot better than anything else. 

But most of all, you were thankful for a change of pace and the privacy this offered you. You had never been one for the spotlight, and dating on display had left you feeling drained.

You’re sitting in a surprisingly comfortable wooden wicker dining chair on the outdoor patio of the new trendy fusion restaurant you’ve been dying to come to. From your spot tucked away in the corner you can see the ocean waves rolling in and back out again. The golden rays already promising a stunning sunset later in the evening.

The foliage of the giant potted monsteras and birds of paradise made the terrace feel like a lush oasis, and contrasted stylishly against the large painted terracotta tiles on the ground. The pergola that covered it was dotted wisteria amongst the other climbing greenery, and numerous oversized hanging rattan sconces. The dainty lights woven throughout reflecting off the wine glasses on the table.

This was exactly what you needed. Too bad you couldn’t let yourself enjoy it, the twisted knots in the pit of your stomach had served a constant reminder of your nerves all day.

You had used this date as an excuse to finally buy the deep green floral dress you’d had your eye on for ages. The gentle drape of the neck was subtly sophisticated, while the high slit on the side added some serious sex appeal. 

There was nothing wrong with a little retail therapy you had told yourself as you’d swiped your credit card. If you looked good, maybe it would help you to feel good.

In all honesty, it probably had a little too much sex appeal since you couldn’t stop fidgeting in your chair trying to get the silky dress cover up more of your thigh that was currently displayed rather provocatively. It felt like the more you tried to get it to lay right the more of your leg was exposed. 

It probably didn’t help that you couldn’t stop the restless bouncing of your leg. You weren’t usually an antsy person, leg bouncing had always been more of Rooster’s anxious habit than yours.

Maybe you’ll feel less exposed once you draped the linen napkin across your lap. You’re tempted to do it now, but you don’t want to disturb the artfully laid out tablescape before your date has arrived.

It had been three weeks of back to back truly terrible dates. You could see the finish line now, but you couldn’t say that it wasn’t wearing on you. It had sounded like fun in theory, but now you weren’t so sure you would said yes again if you were offered a do-over. 

You were tired. 

Tired of going through the motions with men who could hardly be bothered to do the bare minimum. Tired of trying to sell the best version of yourself. Tired of putting on a show when all you wanted to find was an easy kind of love.

And this particular date had you more on edge and anxious than any of the other ones you’d gone on.

Even if you were pressed, you could not remember a single thing about the guy Payback had set you up with on your most recent blind date.

That evening you hadn’t even bothered trying to put together a cute outfit for the meeting. Instead, the only real effort you’d opted to put in was painting your lips a bright red as an attempt to psych yourself up for it. You didn’t usually wear such a bold color, but when you did it never failed to make you feel more brilliant.

And while you couldn’t remember anything about your date, what you did vividly remember was the fight you got into with Rooster that night.

You had been coming back from the restroom and on your way back to your date when you had bumped into him rounding the corner. 

“Sorry, that was my fault,” he’d said as he reached out to steady you with hand going to your waist, dropping it once he realized it was you. “Oh, hey.”

Glancing over to your date who seemed absorbed in some game he was playing on his phone, you figured he wouldn’t miss you if you spent a few extra minutes away to catch up with Rooster.

He had been acting really distant lately, taking a couple days to respond to texts rather than a couple of hours like it usually took him. Natasha had told you about the rigorous training they were being put though, and you had assumed it probably had something to do with that. However, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off between you two.

Rooster was already pulling away from you and taking a step towards the bar when you reached out grabbing his wrist to keep him with you. Looking around for a quiet place to talk, you’d heard him sigh behind you, but still held on to him as you made your way to one of the high-top tables in the corner by the empty stage. 

You’d stopped and let go as you turned towards him, only to find him already looking at you with an expression that landed somewhere between expectant and exasperated. The cuffs of his shirt straining around his biceps as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Well?” he grunted out.

Was he mad at you? You couldn’t think of any recent arguments you’d had recently that would explain the harsh tone he was using with you. 

“Is everything ok? I feel like you’ve been really off lately. You know I’m always here for you, right?” Your hand was already reaching out to touch him, but you resisted the urge not wanting to further agitate him.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m surprised you even have time to talk to me with all these washouts you’ve been wasting your time on. You’re the one with the busy social calendar, not me.” He was looking over the top of your head avoiding your gaze now, the bitterness in his voice had stunned you. 

“Seriously? What is the matter with you?” 

He’d never been so intentionally callous with you before and it hurt. 

“Listen, if there is an issue me dating the people your friends have been setting me up with, you need to let me know,” you’d said pointing a firm finger at him, your anger rising. “This was supposed to be a fun no pressure situation, but I don’t want to be in the middle of this if things are getting heated between you guys. It’s not worth it to me. But you don’t get to ignore me for days and then claim that I’m the one avoiding you.”

He made a noise of frustration as he dragged both hands through his curls. You could see the flex of his jaw as he’d clenched his teeth together.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he ducked down to that his eyes were level with your, and you could see the remorse in them. “You’re right, that was shitty of me to take it out on you. I’m just… tired.”

You’d simply nodded at him, feeling like you weren’t on the same page as him didn’t sit well with you. “Phoenix told me about your new training program, it seems intense,” your voice sounded small even to your own ears.

“Yeah, the training,” he’d sighed out pausing for a moment as he weighed his words, rubbing at his chest, “It’s taking a toll on me, but that’s my problem. I mean it, I’m sorry.”

“Are we good?” you searched his eyes, your friendship with him was so important to you.

“You and me? We’re good, kid. Always.” He’d reached out and squeezed your shoulder before heading back to where the group was gathered together pretending like they weren’t just watching your argument play out. 

Needless to say, your head was somewhere elsewhere entirely as you made your way back to your date. You’d felt bad being so distracted, but your mind just kept playing the argument on repeat. It was like your brain was trying to pull apart every little word to decode something that you didn’t think was there.

After Payback’s friend had left, you rejoined everyone else around the pool table. You couldn’t tell if the mood was off or if it was just you reading into things, since they hadn’t been prodding you with questions like they usually did.

Natasha was in the middle of giving you a glowing review of the man she had been bragging about since she first offered to set you up, when Rooster came to sit with you both.

“He’s just your type. He’s an engineer, so he’s smart. He’s got that whole glasses wearing and floppy hair thing going for him. And he’s funny. Rumor has it that he talked back to his Rear Admiral one time and got away with it because the guy had found him amusing. I fully expect you to name one of your future children with him after me.”

Rooster had surprised the pair of you when he stood up so violently that he almost knocked over the beers on the table. 

“What the fuck, Bradshaw?” Nat had exclaimed as you both worked to rescue the teetering bottles from becoming casualties from his sudden movement.

You had no idea what he was going to say as an explanation for why he’d jumped out of his seat the way he did, but what he ended up unexpectedly announcing instead of answering Nat’s question had sent you into a tailspin.

So now here you are in a restaurant you’d be dying to go to, fidgety and anxious in a probably-too-expensive-and-probably-too-provocative dress for a first date with the guy who Rooster was willing to break his long-standing rules for to set you up with.

To say you were feeling the pressure was an understatement. No one knew you like Rooster did. He’d seen you at your best and at your worst. He wouldn’t just pick any random guy he knew, he would be picking the one who he thought would be the best for you.

The thought should be comforting, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of uneasiness.

You pick up your phone again and double check the time in the text that Rooster had sent you with all the details for your date with his friend. 

It was either that do that again or moving the ever-so-slightly crooked gold salad fork back into place.

You’re about to open Instagram for the third time since you sat down, turning when you hear a throat clear purposely behind you.

“Hey, sweet girl.”

For Rooster, when you’d first agreed to participate in the bet with his friends those dates started off as annoying inconveniences. Just inconsequential disruptions that got in the way of his time with you.

You were his best friend and at his bar, yet he felt like he’d hardly seen you these past couple of weeks- or at least not as much as he would have liked. 

Sure, he got some time with you here and there at the end of the night like when you had late night tacos on the beach. Or when he’d taught you his favorite pool trick, well more like attempted to teach you, he loved how stunningly bad you were at the game. But he felt like he was competing with these idiots his friends had picked out for your time and your attention. 

He wasn’t used to sharing you. In the past, if you had a date that conflicted with something spontaneous he wanted to do or something that the group had planned together, more often than not he could get you to move it or cancel completely.

He’d never been above a little bribery to get his way, he knew what you liked.

You going on dates wasn’t a new concept to him, but seeing them paraded in front of him was a different story. And he was getting really tired of watching you from across the bar while feeling like you were out of reach.

The more of them you went on, and the more he heard Natasha crowing about having the perfect man for you the more agitated he felt. The worse that feeling in the pit of his stomach got. 

The evening of date for Payback’s pick, they’d all seen you walk in through the doors of the Hard Deck wearing that shade of red lipstick. You’d wore it so well. His friends had immediately started speculating about what it meant. Phoenix had called them all idiots, and while he couldn’t claim to know anything about make-up and those things, he did know you didn’t just wear that color for no reason. 

He had vague memories of his mom putting the color on when they’d go greet his dad, at least he like to think those were his memories. Or maybe they were just something he’d created in his head from all the time he had spent looking at old photos of his mom and dad together, her smile always outlined in the color. His favorite was the one where his dad’s cheeks were covered in bright red lipstick kisses as he smiled indulgently down at his mom while a young Bradley was propped on her hip clutching his prized F-14 Tomcat. He had that one framed on the end table next to his couch. 

And seeing that color on you for a date with this random guy had rattled him.

He’d felt so terrible later that evening when he took those feelings out on you. Hating himself as he lashed out at you. Hating himself as he saw your face fall and the hurt in your eyes. Hating himself for being the person who made you feel bad.

And the crux of it all was that you weren’t wrong, he had been deliberately distant by being slow to reply and ignoring texts from you. He wasn’t proud of it, but he didn’t know what else to do. He’d hoped by creating some space that it would help him to try and get his head back on straight. 

He’d let you assume that he was tired from the new training program they were being put through. What he didn’t tell you was that he was already outperforming everyone on the team, and that he hadn’t had to do any extra push-ups in a week and a half. 

He was tired because he hadn’t been sleeping, and he couldn’t sleep because every time he tried to close his eyes all he could see was you on these dates. Replaying them in his mind’s eye wondering what the outcome would have been had they not gone so terribly wrong each time.

The what-ifs swarming around his brain day and night like agitated hornets.

While he had been quick to apologize for being a dick, the sharp pain that settled behind his sternum wouldn’t subside no matter how much he had tried to rub it away.

He didn’t know what was more unbearable, the idea of losing you to a chance encounter of circumstance. Some meet cute courtesy of the universe that he couldn’t see coming until it was too late, when it’s already too far out of his hands and out of his control. To see you grinning that smile so bright, the one so wide it made your dimples appear, as you introduced that guy to him. 

Or sitting here night after night analyzing every little thing as you date the people some of his closest friends had picked out for you. Watching and hoping that these dates would just be funny stories you told on drunken nights out rather than the story told at your wedding about the night that everything changed when you met your person. Of having to be happy for you even as you pull away from him.

His ears were ringing and he’d felt his stomach drop. 

He could see it now, a day when your life ran parallel to his rather than entwined as he was used to. Of you with a partner. With children. Of him as ‘Uncle’ Rooster, demoted to the rank of ‘longtime friend of the family’ rather than a core member of it. 

The thought of it making him feel sick. 

All evening he had been moving around like a ghost completely lost to the thoughts in his head, but now it felt like he’d been shocked by a live wire. He’d pretty much jumped out of the chair he had just settled in, almost knocking the beers in front of him off the table completely. 

“I want in, I’ll do it,” he’d blurted out, interrupting the conversations that had continued on around him while he had been spiraling. “This whole thing has been a complete shit show. I can’t watch this anymore. I know a guy, I’ll set it up. I’m in.” 

His hands were sweating as he hoped no one would call his bluff. He’d made it a point to actively avoid looking at you. You had such an uncanny way of reading him. 

“I don’t know, Bradshaw. You’re a little late to the game, aren’t you? I’ve been saving the best for last, and I’m ready to collect my winnings.” He’d expected some shit from Hangman, but he never would have guessed it’d come from Phoenix. 

Feeling his anger flare up, he reached into his back pocket and fished out a $100 bill from his worn leather wallet, double the original entry fee. He slapped it down on the table, leaving no room for any further discussion, “I’m the one setting her up for the next date.” 

He’d caught a look between Hangman and Phoenix, but he couldn’t be bothered to read into it as he tried to keep his temper in check.  

He wouldn’t lose you. Not to someone who didn’t deserve you, especially when he already knew the person who could make you happy.

“Alrighty,” Jake had drawled out, as he pocked the bill. “Looks like we have another player. I look forward to taking your money.” 

He’d extended his hand out and they’d all shook on it, reaching Phoenix last her grip firm and her smile sharp. And that was that. 

Now he was here at the new popular restaurant he’d heard you talking about a few weeks ago, his feet cemented to the tiles beneath him just gazing at you. 

He could tell from where he was standing behind you that you were nervous by the way you were opening and closing apps without truly looking at anything. He knew it was a habit of yours when you were feeling anxious, something for your hands to do as you tried to distract yourself.

He had sweet talked the hostess over the phone into reserving the best spot on the outdoor terrace, and you looked so beautiful sitting there wearing his new favorite color. Your hair is held back by a delicate golden clip on one side leaving the line of your neck exposed, the sea breeze picking up a few wisps.  It makes his teeth ache with want.

He knew you were gorgeous, he’d stared down enough men at the Hard Deck to know that others thought so too. However, he’d never let himself sit with those thoughts for too long, not trusting himself to keep his mind from wandering. 

You were his best friend. 

And best friends don’t think about how the other would look so perfect in their bed, that pretty green dress forgotten on the floor. 

Best friends don’t think about how perfect you would look under his arm.

Best friends don’t think about how perfect you would look with his ring on your finger.

Best friends don’t think about how perfect you are for him.

Best friends don’t think about how perfect he is for you.

Him.

It was a good thing he didn’t want to just be your best friend anymore. 

He’d already done too much thinking, done too much waiting. He wasn’t going to miss his moment. 

Taking one more deep breath, he made his way to you.

“Rooster? What are you doing here?” He was the last person you’d expected to see when you turned your head to see who had been trying to get your attention, “Are you ok? What’s wrong?”

Did he get emergency orders? Did your date get in an accident? 

Your anxiousness was quickly morphing into panic, you’re already half way out of your seat when he puts his hand on your shoulder, his thumb stroking the skin there reassuringly. 

He is standing there looking completely at ease, as if he belonged there, “Nothing’s wrong, sweet girl.” 

And there it was again, you hadn’t been sure if your ears were playing tricks on you the first time he’d said it. That simple term of endearment silencing the alarm bells that were going off in your head, the edges of the lush restaurant softening around everything except him.

“Your mom always called me that,” you say softly. 

You cherished all the memories you had with Carole, the woman who had been such a significant figure in your life for so long. You knew your mom still sent Rooster a cake every year to celebrate her birthday from whatever bakery was closest to wherever he was stationed. 

“I know, I remember,” his voice so warm and deep, “She loved you.” 

He says it so simply, so sincerely. As if his presence here hasn’t just completely untethered you and sent you adrift in a sea of bewilderment.

The writhing snake that had made a home all day in the pit of your stomach finally disappeared, only to be replaced with the fluttering of wings that you were desperately trying to ignore. 

You’d been so shocked when Rooster had exclaimed that he was going to set you up with someone, your mind had been whirling so much at the time you could barely focus on anything that had been said in the aftermath of his announcement. Maybe you had missed some caveat he’d come up with for his participation in the bet? That could make sense, considering how adamant he had always been in the past about never getting involved in your love life. 

He was standing there looking so good in his best short-sleeved button up shirt, the one that was scattered with vibrant palm leaves that fit snugly against his body. And wearing the white slacks that usually had you looking anywhere else in the room to avoid acknowledging the way they clung to your best friend’s thighs and ass. If only he knew how weak they made you. 

There just has to be a logical reason for why he’s here, but the soft smile on his face was rendering your brain uncooperative. 

You were getting tired of feeling like you were missing something that should be so obvious, “My date is supposed to be here soon, are you going to hover in the back like you have been at the Hard Deck? Or are you just planning on pulling up a chair and third wheeling up close and personal?” 

“Why would I need an extra chair,” he asks as he pulls it out and eases his large frame down onto the wicker seat, “When mine’s already free?” 

You move to open your mouth when the waitress arrives, asking if you had your drink orders selected. 

“I’ll do the Bourbon Sidecar. You feelin’ like a gin, sweet girl?” You just nodded at him mutely, still desperately trying to catch up. “And the Clover Club for her, please.” 

It’s what you were planning on ordering to calm your first date jitters before had Rooster arrived and sent you into a complete tailspin. He hadn’t even looked at the thick textured cardstock of the drink menus that were strategically placed just to the right of the golden soup spoons on the artfully laid out table. 

The butterflies were threatening to break free from the tightly locked cage you had attempted to shove them in. 

The waitress took down the drinks, and you watched her as she crossed the patio pausing to tap away on the screen of their POS, trying to give yourself a few more moments to collect your thoughts. 

“Bradley. I don’t understand, what’s going on?” He’s sitting there looking so secure, so steadfast, so sure. 

His cheek ticks up, “I like it when you call me Bradley. Why did you stop calling me that when you moved out here?” 

“You’re avoiding the question.”

“Why did you stop calling me Bradley when you moved out here?” he asks again, leaning in. How does he expect you to answer a question, when your mind is going 1,190 miles an hour? 

“I don’t know,” you start with a halfhearted shrug. “You’ve made a name for yourself in the Navy, you are ‘Rooster’ to everyone here.” You open your mouth to say more, before closing it quickly.

“There’s more going on in that head,” you feel his foot reach out tapping against yours under the table, before leaving it there a steady presence. “Tell me.”

You know you can tell him anything, but this feels different.

The intensity of his stare has you fighting the flush you feel spreading across your cheeks.

It wasn’t something that you’d ever given much thought to before, but you know if you answer truthfully now that he’s asked you it’s going to leave you feeling more exposed than you’ve ever been with him. 

You sit up more fully in your chair deciding to be brave, “I mean, we haven’t really truly been in the same place since we were teens, and things are so different now. It was easier to start calling you ‘Rooster’ or ‘Bradshaw’ like everyone else, because it didn’t make me feel like I was piece from a different puzzle trying to force myself into a new picture. I wanted to fit into the life that you’ve built here, to feel like I still have a place with you as you are now.”

You’re actively fighting to keep your eyes on his. It would be so easy to look away or to laugh off your confession, but for whatever reason, you don’t want to take the easy out. 

“I never knew you felt like that, but I wish I had,” the look in his eyes is softer than anything you’ve ever seen from him before. “I like being Bradley to you, I want to be Bradley to you. You aren’t just a piece to me, you’re the whole picture. You’ve always had a place here, exactly as you are you are now.”

It’s never been like this between the two of you. It feels like you both are saying too much and not enough all at the same time. As much as you find yourself wanting to sink into these intoxicating yet unfamiliar feelings, you know you’re still holding yourself back.

God, he is so handsome. You had been right, the sunset that was just starting was stunning, but the way golden beams were hitting the lightened strands of his curls was spectacular.

You’re almost too afraid to ask, but it’s unbearable not knowing, “Why are you here right now, Bradley?”

Of course, the waitress chooses that moment to return with the drinks. 

She sets them down in front of you, the skewered raspberries sitting daintily on the side of your glass are suddenly the most fascinating thing in the room. You vaguely hear him saying you both need more time and that he’ll flag her down when you’re ready to order. 

He waits for her to leave to attend to her other tables before turning his heady gaze on you once again.

“I thought I’ve been making my intentions pretty clear here, sweet girl.” 

He takes a sip of his Sidecar before continuing, the slight bounce of his leg the only thing giving him away that he might not be as self-assured as you’d originally thought, “I’m here for our date.”

There’s no hope of containing the butterflies now. You’re a lost cause. 

“Bradley.” You can only imagine the emotions he is reading on your face. It would absolutely break your heart if this was some kind of bad joke.

“He’ll never love you like I can.” 

“What?” you ask sounding every bit as dazed as you feel.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says shaking his head slightly, huffing out a little laugh at himself, “I got ahead of myself.”

You watch as he resituates himself in the chair, wiping his hands on the front of his slacks before restarting. 

“Watching you on those dates has been hell, I don’t want to be jealous of some guy you gave a second glance. I don’t want hold back, not when we can be so much more,” he reaches across the table, taking your hand between his two large ones, “I thought having you as a friend was enough for me, but how am I supposed to sleep at night knowing that I could be the one who makes you happy and then do nothing about it? That I’m the only one who can love you the way you deserve to be loved?”

You’ve always known he’s cared for you, that was unquestionable, but to be loved by Bradley Bradshaw? It was something you’d never let yourself imagine, let alone dared to hope to for. It had been kinder to spare yourself from the heartache that came with hope. But now? With him sitting right here in front of you saying you could have him like this?

Was this how he felt flying in his F-18 every day?

He gets up and rounds the table coming to your side, hooking an ankle around the tapered leg of your chair pulling you out a bit. You’re suddenly very thankful for the probably-too-expensive-and-probably-too-provocative for a first date dress you purchased when you see the way his rich brown eyes turn molten as he gets a glimpse of your exposed thigh.

He settles into a crouch before you, his warm hands seeking out both of yours, “You don’t need Phoenix or anyone else to set you up, because he’ll never love you like I can. Let me show you how good it can be. Let me be it for you, sweet girl.”

The man in front of you is everything you could have ever possibly wanted for yourself. And to be the one who could get to keep him forever? There’s no doubt in your mind, it’s worth everything.

You’re sure you will have to have a more serious conversation about what this means for the two of you, but that can wait for another time when he’s not in front of you with his eyes so earnest. So hopeful. To another time when he’s not wearing his heart on his sleeve as he patiently waits for any kind of response from you.

It would be so easy to lean in and kiss him right now. 

So easy to learn what that mustache would feel like against your skin. 

To learn how his lips and tongue would feel against your own. 

To learn how his mouth would move with yours.

But what’s a couple more hours when you’ve had years to build up to it.

“Well then, Lieutenant. I guess you better show me how it’s done,” you bring your hand up to cup his face, your thumb gently stroking along his cheekbone. “But I’m warning you now, I fully intended to give you as good as I get.” 

Being on the receiving end of a Rooster smile was something special, but it had nothing on the beaming grin that Bradley Bradshaw is giving you now. 

“I wouldn’t expect anything else from you,” he says as he lands a lingering kiss on your cheek before standing and pushing your chair back in for you. “You’ve always known how to keep me on my toes.”

He returns back to his surprisingly comfortable wooden wicker chair, stretching his leg to rest it against yours. When the waitress comes back you both end up picking your meals at random, having been too absorbed with each other to actually bother reading the menu. 

You’d barely eaten all day because of the knots in your stomach, and now you were starving. Thankfully, Bradley at least had the commonsense to ask the waitress to pick her favorite dish as a third entrée “for the table”.

It feels the same in many ways, he knows what to say to make you laugh and what to bring up to get you fired up. And you know what questions to ask to keep him talking and how to push his buttons just right. 

But it’s also different when he doesn’t bother to hide his knowing smirk every time he catches you looking at his lips. And it’s even better when you don’t bother trying to hide yours when you catch him doing the same.

Afterwards, he takes your hand in his as you slowly make your way to the parking lot, his fingers lacing between your own. He surprises you when he leans against the Bronco, murmuring something about not wanting to let your pretty dress get dirty. His long legs extended wide as an invitation for you to come stand between them, his strong hands stroking the silky material of your dress on your hips as you step closer. 

You’ve been ignoring the pull low in your stomach all evening, the tension between you two the most luscious feeling you’ve ever experienced. The combination of his heat, his woodsy smell, the headiness of his gaze on you almost too overwhelming. 

Almost.

Your hands settle on his broad chest, playing with the button of his shirt now a bit nervous. Your faces closer than you’ve ever allowed them to be before. If what you’re hearing is the sound of the waves or the roaring of the blood in your ears, you couldn’t say.

You know he is waiting for you to make the first move. You see the moment when he’s about to say something, knowing him the words would be wonderfully reassuring and perfectly Bradley.

Why would you want to talk when his mouth was already waiting like a question. Why would you want to talk when you could learn what it’s like kiss him instead?

So you do.

When your lips meet his for the first time it feels like the sweetest kind of devotion. 

bradleybradleybradley

His mustache scratching satisfyingly at the skin of your upper lip. His mouth tasting like the Sidecars he sipped on throughout the night and something that was just fundamentally Bradley. 

Your hand moves on its own to stroke the side of his neck, your fingers seeking out the line of the longest scar that adorns his skin there from that night all those years ago. 

Your heart is beating wildly in your chest as he licks his lips before bringing his face down to yours again. Your other hand tightly clutching his shirt in anticipation.

He’s always been so in tune with you, so when he tilts your head just right before leaning into the kiss it feels like a homecoming. 

thisthisthis

One of Bradley’s hands makes its way up your back, pressing you closer to him as the other bands more securely around your waist. And when his tongue skims your lower lip, you sigh into his waiting mouth thankful for his strong grasp on you. 

Nothing your mind could have imagined would have ever come close to the perfection that is Bradley Bradshaw’s mouth moving against yours. Nothing has ever felt so good, so right.

When he pulls away, you’re both over fighting back the smiles that feel like have been permanently fixed on your faces all evening.

“I’m don’t want to call it a night yet,” he tells you, as he brushes the hair back from your face. His smile turning playful, “What do you say, kid? Wanna go get some milkshakes?”

“Depends,” you reply cheekily, “Can I drink it in the Bronco?”

Wrapping both arms around his neck you draw him back in towards you again.

“Anything you want, sweet girl,” he promises against your lips.

The next night at the Hard Deck, you entered the bar with Bradley’s arm draped your shoulders. 

His team whooping loudly when you pull him in for a kiss as he handed you a Blue Moon. They’d declared the drinks were on Bradley that night as they’d swarmed you both in celebration. Maverick pulls you aside to give you a warm hug, whispering “I knew you’d get here” in your ear before releasing you.

Now that you had let yourselves cross that line from friends to more, the pair of you are entirely too aware of the other. Never content to be too far away from the other. Your eyes like magnets, each seeking out the other to find them already looking back.

There’s nothing friendly about the way he has his hands on your waist. Nothing neighborly in the way his hands rub your shoulders. Nothing platonic in the way he rests one hand on the back of your neck, his thumb making teasing circles.

And there’s nothing friendly about the way you run your hands through his curls when he’s at the piano. Nothing neighborly in the way you slide your hand into his back pocket. Nothing platonic in the way you rest your hand on his chest, your finger tracing the line of his collarbone. 

It has always been so easy with him, even as you explore in this new area of your relationship.

You’d been orbiting around each other all night, when Jake yelled out to heckle you both about indecent exposure, threatening to call his cop friend if Bradley didn’t “get his ass over to the pool table in the next thirty seconds.”

He’d peppered your face with kisses before you’d shooed him away, laughing when you realized he had swiped your beer and had taken it with him.

“So you and Bradshaw,” Natasha states as she settles down next to you.

That makes you smile.

“Yeah, me and Bradley.” 

How could you have possibly thought you’d want anyone else other than him? You were a goner from the moment you’d turned and saw him standing there at the restaurant. Your golden boy.

You turn towards her, putting a hand on her arm, “I’m sorry that you didn’t get a fair shot at the bet. I really do appreciate the effort you all went through. I mean, Bradley would have had it in the bag anyways. But still–”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she waves a hand, cutting you off, “We had a team meeting and changed the rules of the bet anyways. I still won, so it’s all good.” Her smile was nothing less than mischievous. 

“Wait, what?” 

“We could all see from Rooster’s reaction during that disaster of a first date with all the dogs that he was completely hung up on you. We didn’t want to wait for him to figure it out, so we decided to adjust the terms a bit to help him out,” she laughs at your clearly baffled expression. “We reached out to the cringiest people we knew and set you up with them instead. And then took bets on how long it would take Rooster to get his head out of his ass and go get his girl.”

“Oh my god, seriously?” The revelation has you bursting out in laughter.

“Yep, well except for Bob. His date was a genuine accident, bless him. I’ll be honest, I didn’t even bother reaching out to anyone. I was betting on Rooster getting it together before I needed to step in,” she explains while wearing the most self-satisfied smirk on her face.

Of course Natasha Trace had bet on him. On you.

You couldn’t wait to tell Bradley how you had both been so absolutely played by his team. 

You loved these people. You loved your life here in San Diego. 

“I’d apologize for putting you through all that, but it looks like it worked out well in the end,” she says knowingly nodding her head towards him. 

You’re fully watching him now as he bends over the pool table looking amused at something that Hangman says. 

Bradley looks up catching your eye and shoots a wink in your direction, a grin taking over his whole face. You already know you’re wearing a matching one.

“I wouldn’t change a single thing.”

Thank you so much for all the love on this one! I’ve loved sharing this journey with you all! Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone! 

If you want to know what happens next for these two you can check out my masterlist! 

Written as part of @roosterforme’s #Love Is In The Air TGM Fic Challenge!

Song Inspiration Sam Smith’s “Like I Can”.

Thank you Jordan (@gretagerwigsmuse) as always for being the ultimate hype girl! 

Taglist:

@sehnsuchts-trunken @top-hhun-main @itscheybaby @prettylittlelauraa @startrekfangirl2233 @marantha @callsign-viper @teacupsandtopgun @itsizzythebell @shanimallina87 @angelbabyange @boltgirl426 @oneelleandaneye @mizzzpink @cornishkat @torres-espana @uzumegui @dont-talk-me-down @fandomunite2107 @alana4610 @20th-centu-fairy-girl @pariahsparadise @pono-pura-vida @donttouchmycarrots @nina-sj @eg-dr3amer3 @whaledots-blog @a-beaverhausen @misty-inferno @angellwingsss @hangmanscoming @mandolin22 @theweekndhistorybook @lilpeekabooze @high-bi-imgonnacry @ahintofkiwistrawberry @mrsdaamneron @ruewrote @spiderman-stilinski @jayniebop @melllinaa @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @mandolin22 @imaginecrushes @soleilgrec @keyrani @finelytaylored @phantomxoxo @viridianphtalo @chicomonks @artemissunn​ @hey-assbutt35​ @mayempress​ @eddiemunsonreader @averyhotchner​ @caatheeriinee07​ @rileyanntoinette​ @lublycho

#bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw x you #top gun fanfiction #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw x you #rooster x reader #rooster x female reader #rooster x you #top gun maverick fanfiction #bradley bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #love is in the air tgm #like i can tgm

[dorims]

last christmas (i gave you my heart).

gif creds @/fightingdragonswithwho

pairing. roman roy x reader

wc. 1.6k

genre. fluff

Spending every holiday under Logan Roy’s roof wasn’t necessarily a problem. But just like any other family gathering, the pot tended to be stirred until have a holly jolly Christmas sounded either like a call for help or the theme song from the Saw franchise. for a change, maybe spending christmas away from his family would do him good. you can only hope he agrees.

tags. NOT beta-ed(?), english isn't my first language // established relationship (fiancee/married, i havent decided yet lol), brief mention of alcohol, allusion to roy family dynamics, roman and reader are the only characters in this one

a/n. idc that its march and the fact im not big on christmas either, this one really fun to write! hope you enjoy

“So,” You test the waters, lathering the bristles of your toothbrush with the bubblegum toothpaste in the process. In tune with the routine you had wordlessly established, you locked eyes with him through the mirror. Not before letting your eyes roam over his relaxed figure of course. Surprisingly intimate, you would describe the way he liked to watch you while you finished your nightly routine. He would look so painfully comfortable, maybe even serene, as he let his body rest against the doorframe as his eyes lidded with perpetual fatigue, took in the mundanity of watching you lather your face with creams and face wash.“I’ve been thinking.”

He hummed in acknowledgement, though it sounded more like a stifled laugh. “That's new, how's that going for you?"

“Funny.” The foam in your mouth was of no help at conveying the faux annoyance, balancing out the deadpan you sported with a dose of conveniently muffled speech. Not intimidating at all, it only caused his grin to grow wider. And contagious as always, you leaned over the sink to spit the toothpaste in an attempt to hide a smile of your own, though the thick layer of adoration in your eyes gave it away. 

“I’m just saying,” he raised his hands in mock surrender, finally walking inside to lean against the marble counter right next to you. “I only wanna know how it feels to lose your, you know, thinking virginity after giving no signs of brain activity for how long? Like—“

“You can tell yourself how it feels when you lose it.”

“Oh you want to fuck my brain so bad—“

“I’ve been thinking,” You cut him off with an amused smile, taking him in once more. Big round eyes shone with mischief along a hint of sheepishness as he noticed you looking at him. Really looking at him under the vanity lights with messy hair from running his hands through the strands all day and finally wearing the matching pajamas set you had gotten for him in a pretty navy blue because wearing a matching set made you feel good and you wanted him to feel the same way. Always. 

“You've been thinking…” he rolled his eyes as if to hold back another quip now that you had restarted the conversation. The pinkish hue you were so familiar with made a small appearance as you let your fingers brush over his, gently coaxing him to intertwine his hands with yours. Not that he needed much convincing, though. 

“We should spend Christmas this year with my family.”

At the beginning of your relationship, you were sure he would’ve pulled his hand out of your grasp. You could see the way he had to swallow down the urge to do so from the pensive furrow of his brows while the side of his brain in charge of his critical thinking tried to convince him that your words weren’t an attack on his family. He was still working on it, the lousy therapy sessions here and there helped a little, but he still found himself opening his mouth to complain.

“I know what you’re gonna say but think about it, Romeo.” Thankfully, you took the steering wheel before he could start. “My family loves you and we haven’t spent Christmas with them in like, ever, actually.”

Which wasn’t his fault, and you made sure to tell him so, leaning closer until your knee touched his and giving him a quick peck on his lips before he could protest.

Spending every holiday under Logan Roy’s roof wasn’t necessarily a problem. It was nice to exist alongside the people that Roman loves, the people he grew up around. Watching him interact with his siblings could be endearing. So much so that sometimes you wished you could record their banter and laughter so he could listen back and for a moment picture that things between them were okay. But just like any other family gathering, the pot tended to be stirred until have a holly jolly Christmas sounded either like a call for help or the theme song from the Saw franchise.

“Every year we celebrate in a different place,” you toyed with the idea in front of his eyes like one would a cat’s toy, using your smile to build momentum to the grand reveal that at this point didn’t even sound grand to you. “last Christmas was Italy and this year we’re doing Greece.”

“Since when do you have a house in Greece?” He asked, toying with your fingers as his gaze locked itself on them. It was a good sign he was asking.

“We don’t,” the sound of your animated chuckle helped to loosen his shoulders. Though it didn’t dissipate his slight confusion, it always felt good to have you close like this. “It’s Kelly’s house— eh, her parents’ but sharing is caring or whatever…”

He let out a chuckle of his own. The sound made all sorts of warmth bloom in your chest, maybe even cute aggression if you felt like being dramatic. 

“And after we can spend New Year's just the two of us wherever you want.” He shrugged in a silent response, still pensive, and you couldn’t help but coo at him as if to coax him out of his shell. “It’s gonna be so much fun, they’ve been asking about us and the kids adore you, they’ve been obsessed with Uncle Roro ever since Lizzie’s birthday.”

“As they should be, my lower back never recovered from being used as a human jungle gym.” He rolled his eyes at the memory yet the love was evident from behind the thinly veiled sarcasm. He was a very particular individual but so were most of your siblings-in-law. And sure, the first time he met your family hadn’t gone as he expected, both in a good way and in a bad way, but your mother still asked him to join him for a glass of whiskey whenever they crossed paths with a welcoming smile and your father always hugged him in greeting like he did all his children. 

“You’re good with them,” You smiled against his lips as you leaned closer for a kiss, leaving a couple of pecks that eventually made him smile too. “you’ve always been good with kids.” 

“Yeah whatever, stop kissing me my breath stinks.” 

The way your brothers had instantly included him in their weird boys' night out, which was ruled by the obnoxiously corny motto ‘what happens in boys' night, stays in boy’s night’ that was used as a smoke screen for that one time they decided to go to the spa to never be taken seriously again once they swallowed their own stupidity, left you grinning for a week straight. And let's not start with the picture you had taken during a summer trip to Nice of all the daughters-in-law posing like they were celebrating their high school prom with Roman at the front of the line, it had been all laughter all throughout; the picture came out a little blurry. 

It’s all you could think about sometimes when you watched him doing nothing interesting in particular with a lovesick intensity only rivaled by his. How well he fits in your life, with the quips and interjections that kept you company and next to you on your shared bed. With both your slippers sitting neatly side by side and with the unmeasurable love pooling at the bottom of his chest that he had finally allowed himself to unabashedly share after who knows how long. 

“Can you pass me your headband? I need to wash my face.”

He insisted yours was better every time you told him he should buy one of his own. Even if he hadn’t tried any other than yours. You only let it pass because he looked cute with his hair pushed back. No other reason at all. 

“So,” you cut yourself by giving him a peck on the lips as he got closer to steal some face wash. He had his own on his side of the bathroom but the bottle was pretty much full and yours still ran out quicker than when it was just you. “Greece or no Greece?”

“I got chills, they’re multiplying.” He joked right before rinsing the soap from his face, chuckling at your lack of amusement. “What? You prefer right now there’s nowhere to hide since you pushed my love aside?”

“I prefer you answer my question.” 

The eyes of a kicked puppy on full display just put him out of his misery vibes, pleaded in silence as he dragged his feet across the floor until he was standing right in between your legs, his face hiding in the crook of your neck. He fit nicely against your body and instinctively you let your fingers brush along the strands of his hair. “It’s okay if you don’t want to go.” 

He groaned in response, his voice muffled against your skin. “It’s not that, I want to, I just— I already RSVP or whatever bullshit to my Dad.”

No one RSVP’ed to Logan Roy. Especially not his children. It wasn’t necessary when the table was already set for all parties involved regardless of conflicting schedules 

“That’s okay,” You kiss his hair, resting your cheek against his head and muffling your own voice. The vibrations made him hum. “I can talk to him.”

The disheveled strands tickled your skin as he shook his head. Now that his chin was resting on your chest you noticed how cartoonishly slow he was blinking, his lids heavy the weight of being awake for far too long. 

“I’ll talk to him.” He pressed a kiss against the side of your jaw, feeling the unmistakable excitement of your grin, before hiding the yawn that followed. “Tomorrow, I promise.

#roman roy x reader #roman roy x you #roman roy fluff #roman roy #succession fan fiction #roman roy imagine #succession imagine

[duckandrobin]

Touch Starved

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1: First Touch (Yeontan Being a Matchmaker)

Your therapist thought that exposure therapy was your best treatment option, and though you were unsure, you had still found yourself sitting on a bench at the dog park, hoping that the thirty minutes you spent would be undisturbed. You thought you might get lucky, as the park was mostly empty. You could see a man playing fetch with his small fluffy dog, another man with a Doberman that seemed less interested in toys and more interested in tackling him, and it was otherwise empty. It was hard deciding to take your therapist’s advice and go in the first place, but the anxiety of being in a dog park without having an obvious reason (a dog) to be there made you feel even worse.

You only had five more minutes before you could call today a success and head home, when the little fluffy dog’s ball landed just past you. As it came sprinting in your direction, you weren’t worried because you weren’t in its direct path, but, unfortunately, that speeding ball of fur noticed you as it got closer and decided you were much more interesting.

You yelped as it changed course slightly and jumped directly onto you and started licking where it could reach to get your attention. You became frozen as your worst-case scenario came true. As you gently pushed it off and away and tried to stand up quickly to get away, its owner had caught up and was reaching towards it with a flurry of apologies. You collided with him and fell back onto the bench, and he landed awkwardly on top of you. This day couldn’t possibly get worse.

“I am so sorry! He doesn’t mean any harm! Tannie just gets excited!” He explained as he pushed himself back up to stand and scooped up what must be ‘Tannie’ into one of his arms, as the dog continued to wiggle excitedly.

“It’s fine. I knew something like this could happen. I should have prepared better for it.” You were so embarrassed and internally panicking over what happened and how you needed to get home that you just wanted to move on as quickly as possible. You went to get up and he went to grab hold of your hand with his free one.

“Let me help you----”

Warm. It was so warm. It felt he’d built up as much static electricity as possible in his hurry over and zapped you with its full force. You yanked your hand back and took the opportunity to get up and squeeze past him while he remained frozen with his hand still outstretched.

You turned slightly back towards him, who was still frozen and staring blankly at the bench. “It’s okay, really. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine. Have a good day.”

The goodbye finally prompted him to restart. “Wait-wait!” He looked confused for a moment before he seemed to steady himself. “Shouldn’t we exchange numbers, or I can walk you wherever you’re going? We should probably talk! Yeah, yeah. We should definitely talk.”

“Why? Your dog didn’t actually hurt me, not physically, so I’ll just go home then.” You started walking towards the gates of the park and heard his hurried footsteps give chase a few moments later. He gently touched your shoulder which was exposed in your tank top. The warmth came back, and you turned back towards him, he looked frustrated, maybe even angry.

“You don’t feel that?”

“The warmth?”

“Yeah! Yes! The warmth! We need to talk.” He paused, unsure. “You know what it means, don’t you?”

You were fidgeting a bit as he looked expectantly at you. “It’s hot today, so contact would be warmer unless you had colds.” He started shaking his head and started reaching towards your hand which now had a bright purple patch of splotchy skin, and his fingers had the same. It finally hit you. “Oh my god. We--- Oh my god.”

“You get it! I was worried that it was going to be some kind of one-sided bond for a minute there. God! That would suck. We should talk or something though.” He finished reaching towards you and his fingers had just brushed yours when you flinched and backed away. He had been staring at your hand and looked back towards your face at the action, you had gone pale, so pale you almost looked like you’d be sick. He was about to reach towards you when your eyes rolled, and you crumpled.

It was lucky that Jungkook had finally noticed the commotion and came to check on Taehyung, as he was able to drop Bam’s leash to catch your head just before it hit the ground.

If Taehyung weren’t so worried, he would’ve laughed at Jungkook’s bewildered face, but instead he crouched next to the two of you and checked your pulse. God, it would really suck if he had managed to scare his soulmate into having a heart attack and dying. It’d be the worst luck possible, as not only would he lose the one person that would best complement him, but he would also be doomed to die of touch starvation. The first contact between soulmates activated a “switch” in their brain, he would have a few weeks before his body had gone through digestive transmutation fully and made him dependent on her touch, but if she was dead then he’d just starve and join in her the afterlife. There was no going back once you’d touched one another. It was almost fortunate that less than 10% of the world’s population ever found the soulmate, otherwise many more people would succumb to touch starvation, either because they brushed their soulmate in a crowd and lost them or because one had died.

“Taehyung. What happened? Is she okay? Who is she?” Jungkook was calmer than he was, but to Taehyung who was becoming overwhelmed quickly, it felt as if he was shouting. “Hey, are you okay? What’s going on? Should we call someone?”

“She’s—” He cleared his throat; it was so scratchy that he almost the urge to itch at it. “She’s my soulmate. We-we had our first contact at the bench, Tannie jumped up and scared her. I went to help her up and… she’s my soulmate and she just passed out when I was trying to talk to her.”

“What?” Jungkook looked around a moment, before gently scooting you away from him and into Taehyung’s arms instead. “I’ll make some calls and bring my car to the gate. You stay here and keep an eye on her. When I get back, then if she’s awake try to get her to come with us and if she’s not then I’ll help you carry her. She’s breathing, so we probably don’t need an ambulance. You got it?”

“Yeah, yeah. I got it. You go.” His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, god, he was so excited to meet her and now he was terrified. How had things gone so wrong? Was she scared of him, was it still fright from Tannie jumping on her, or was she afraid of being his soulmate? He really hoped it was about Tannie, sweet as his puppy was, he’d rather she was just so terrified of dogs that she passed out, rather than her being that afraid of him or their new bond.

#fanfic #fanfiction #bts #reader #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts v #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #fic

[ryryryryryryryryry]

Another new blog… it’s been about a year since I deleted my blog. The one I’ve had since I was 18. The one I grew up with. The one I vented on, posted countless pictures of myself, learned about myself. And holy fuck, the amount of shit that has happened in the last year is intense.

I got divorced. C put me through the wringer. I didn’t know if I would make it out, but I’m doing so much better than I ever imagined. He continues to show his true colors - he got engaged less than a year after we separated, his fiancée has attempted to get into a yelling match with me, he continues to put our daughter at risk, amongst a whole list of things he’s done. I’ve learned the art of disengagement and it’s so healing (also, I finished therapy and my therapist told me how much healthier I am now mentally)

I got a new job. I think this happened prior to me deleting my old tumblr. Doesn’t matter as much. BUT I work when I want, and can spend any and all my time with my daughter which has been a complete life changer. Leaving the only job I’ve known for 10 years hurt more than I expected, especially since it wasn’t planned, and I was basically booted out of there due to them just absolutely trying to destroy me, but it was such a godsend of a misfortune.

I sold my house. C’s only claim to hurt me was the house (other than our daughter that we share). He didn’t own it, but wanted a piece of it in the divorce because it was worth a lot in equity. I just said fuck it, sold it, rebuilt my life, and I’m now looking at houses with my partner.

I got a new boyfriend. He’s an absolute gem of a human. He’s made me realize what I want in a partner. He’s made me realize I’m not nonmonogamous. He’s made me realize that I can have a partner that fulfills me in every sense of the term. He loves me, he loves my daughter, and he puts up with the crazy that occurs in my life.

I don’t know if I’ll actually be on tumblr like I used to be. I deleted all social media, except Instagram, because I found out C was stalking me (and even after I locked all my accounts, he made fake ones - which, at 30 years old and as the man who wanted to end the relationship and was cheating on me, is a little obsessive). I just wanted to restart fresh. I’m so happy with life, I’ve never been so full of love and hope and just life in general, and thus, I’m back, I guess?

#I’m trying to find everyone I used to follow before but I don’t want to be weird about following back people #er I mean following people #I left abruptly and had such a community of people on here that I cared about even if I didn’t talk to you all #and I’ve been really missing it #plus I have a lot of thoughts always #my new partner is great because he wants to talk all the time #C never wanted to but N loves listening to me so it’s really unnecessary to actually vent on here or post on here but I still enjoy it #I’m ranting sorry #there’s been a lot more than what I’ve posted but these are my #big bullet points

[wolfsetfree-if]

hi there! me again. I was gonna reply but i wrote a lil too much. my baaaad so! i asked both because my MC and I are trans so i wanted to see what all was going on there. For if MC was transitioning before the capture, any surgery changes or big physical changes won't revert during captivity. However, with hormones and hormone blockers being unavailable a lot of smaller physical changes will revert. As an example for TransFems, a tracheal shave won't revert but maybe their features will be rougher than before, and they might be dealing with male-pattern-baldness. This is, of course, assuming MC got help before being captured. If MC didn't, then starting their transition will just be a whole journey after the rescue. Having Bela support the protagonist is a super amazing thing as, in both the 'just starting out' route and the 'already figured things out but got setback' route. Older trans people are just super amazing in general. I also wonder if, with all of the magic in this world, there is some way to make more permanent gender changes which could counteract MC accidentally de-transitioning over the course of their captivity. Because I know that some people might want to be trans but not deal with the angst and such that would come with the accidental detrans route. anywho these are just some lonely transbian's thoughts on this. im just one girl so take what im saying with a grain of salt! also, best of luck with writing and i hope this helps!!

also small followup for clarification. the reason i kept saying "accidental detransition" was because MC didnt want to detransition, not because they detransitioned on accident. i just didnt have a better way of putting it my apologies

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply! As I said, it's very useful for me to get this kind of feedback <3

I think having MC transition only prior to their capture might be easier coding wise, but at the same time I really don't want to pass on the message that one can transition or discover their identity only as a teen and be done with it. People can transition later in life and it's completely valid.

So I believe I will complicate my life and go with that. MC will have a talk with Bela and see how they can manage it. Both to restart their therapy, look into surgery or whatever necessary.

I was also thinking we could have something more permanent for MC to not experience some things reverting back. For example a permanent implant for hormones or maybe some sort of amulet built by werewolves (they usually contain some magic given by the moon). Werewolves wouldn't ask witches for help because they are quite dangerous and would absolutely love to get their hands on a stray and use them as ingredient for potion making

#ask

[asmolfolk]

Do you do for all the yanderes vn games? [Like Erza, Ren, Alan, Peter, Jack and etc]

If yes, could you pleaase do one were Ren's Angel MC is the younger sibling of Erza's sugar MC/Alan's Doe eye?

It can be a complete headcanon with they [Ren and Erza or Ren and Alan] reacting to this situation and trying to understand the fuck is that-

If the Sugar/Doe eyes could be an oc it would be awesome! [About mc's personality, I would like to think that with 'Ren and Erza' would be an more "cute" while with 'Ren and Alan' would be more "agressive".]

[corrections about the ask: They send me a message about this ask: "A correction, it was supossed to be: 'Friend, Ren, Alan or/and Emo Peter as Reader's boyfriend while Ezra, Casanova, Harper or any other that you like as reader's older sibling. And if you have an artistic representation of the oc, pleease put it - I would love to see it!'"] Because of that, it will be: Friend x Reader with Ezra x Reader's sibling & Ren x Reader with Casanova x Reader's sibling.

 ˚₊·Look who's back࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ 

I'm soooo sorry for the waiting! I got a very busy and couldn't make time for my tumblr! But now, I'm back;3

Well, to your ask, yes! I do headcanons, imagine and others with all the yanderes (Some of them I haven't played yet, so... It would be very difficult to me to make it here.)

Also! Because you like soooo much to have that really long headcanons and imagines... Well, I think that I overdid it- And SUPPPEEER sorry if I got ANYTHING wrong, hope ya'll can forgive me.. '^^

I hope you're having an good day or night! Stay safe^^

Gender neutral Reader - They/Them or none pronouns used at all. The reader is Friend's partner while their sister is Ezra's partner... Or Casanova's. ❥ ༅ ࿔To explain their personality.♡ Mc

↳ Mc's going to be "more cute", as it was asked... Even though so, I don't know how to do things like that askakkoqo- It's going to be with Friend [the first one] and not Ren. ↳ Mc is going to be someone that thinks too much, getting overwhelmed easily with their own thought's. (They/Them)

Chloé

(The only representation that I have about her is she modeling for some outfits [and I don't finish her hair, so...] I won't put it) ↳ Erza's Sugar will the kind and caring older sibling, she is such a sweetie with you. Always try to make sure you're okay - different from yours other sibling [Lore of Restart Heart] who seems to be not much of a good person. She is also in love with victorian and lolita type of fashion, she loves to do makeup and to do homemade dresses, plushies and others! She started learning how to do that stuff so she could give you something that wasn't money for Birthdays❦ヅ  ↳ Chloé is also someone who - even so far away, would send you a lot of gifts, poems and a lot of stuff! She always send at least one messange per day, wishing you the greastest of the days and that you be happy... 4ever. ↳But she passes and struggles with a lot of stuff at the same time, her mental health is worst than ever - well, at least, the last time she vented with you, it seemed like it. Even with therapy, she didn't seemed that much better... But you knew better, sometimes therapy is something that works in a slow way. You just... Didn't want your sister to have anything more to be stressed about. (She/Her)

Friend

As you could have guessed, he already knew about your sister - He is basically your childhood friend, aren't he?

Their relationship was kinda strange, was more of an "Don't do something strange and I won't try something that starts with sta and ends with bbing." than anything else. They didn't seem to get along and just 'tolerate' each other as the days passes by.

But, if you asked your sister 'What does you think about him?' - She would probably answer with an simple "If he makes you happy, I'm happy too, y'know?"

Having Chloé as an sister was difficult because of this phrase... After all, she always supported you no matter your decisions... But, you notice that life wasn't treating she well... With so many bad news, you though that maybe your sister would be happy to know that you are with someone great!

But now... How do you explain to your dear sister that your bestie... Is now your boyfriend?

You were... In panic. You didn't know what to say, what to do or even what to think! It has passed ten minuts since you send your sister an message that - well - just now you notice what you did.

"Since you are in town, why don't you come over to the '[Insert long ass name]'? It's a small coffe shop, I like it there and my boyfriend likes it too!"

You sended that message without thinking much... And now, you are reeviewing your decisions since now. She didn't even had the chance to explore the city pretty well and you just threw that at her like it was nothing... And right after she told you about some stuff that she was thinking... Oh god! "Oh... Boyfriend? Well... I got a surprise for you too, cutiepie! I will show you when I get there... Don't worry much if I come too late, alright? I'm wishing that you are well right now! If something happen', call me, I'm going to start driving."

Oh god... She stopped doing stuff for you... Again. Even if you didn't want this feelings to get into you, you still couldn't stop thinking bad things about everything... How you potentially ruined your boyfriend and sister day... You can't stop reading the messenges that your sister sended, venting with you.

"Sometimes... I just want to - you know - stop feeling, some feelings are so beautifull... But... Sometimes, I guess that my feelings are always the problem... I worry too much, I get easily sentimental - crying, being stressed out... While I don't want to feel like that... I wanted to be normal... Never wanted to be a cry baby..."

"But... You know, sis? Talking with you... Makes me... See that - At least- I didn't mess everything up!... Oh... Sometimes I wanted to... Just... Y'know? Stop my life to help you out... You helped me so many times... Sorry, I'm getting to work up over those messenges. You should sleep! You're working tomorrow, right? Good luck! Sis loves you, okay? Never forget that!^^" And she sent you an gif of an cat hugging the camera.

Getting lost in the reading and awfull thoughts about yourself... But smiling a little with your sister words - you didn't notice when Friend, who was just by your side, let his hand gentily stroke yours until he just hold your hand, his thumb would be stroking the back of your hand. It was a nice touch...

He was trying to bring you comfort in the less sexual way possible-

Sighing, you finally looked into his eyes - just to notice his worried expression, you felt awfull... Did he think that you were upset with him? You told him - "I'm sorry... I'm just... Nervous. I never... Did that kind of stuff before... I just... Feel the worst. I fear the worst... I don't want her to be - sad, upset or anything like that because of me..."

"Well... Sweetheart, If you let me be your "counselor" for this matter... I think that Chloé will handle it pretty well, specially because... Y'know... I'm not a stranger." He was right, but... What if your sister doesn't approve this? Because she had an... Surprise... It could be a gift, but It could be anything else... And also, her ex-fiance cheated on her with yours sister not even a month ago and you just... Said that. "I know you are scared, but you need to fear... I'm here, by your side and I'm pretty sure that - if she doesn't take this well... Just give her some time, she adores you too much to be upset by something like that..."

You were scared... Not because you feared her reaction, but because you don't want her to feel bad.

"...It's... It's not that... I know that she wouldn't be upset over 'Her lil' sibling is dating... I'm worried about she feeling down... Or anything like that..." You sighed again "...I just... She was feeling down recently, I don't want her to feel like... An mess. I don't want her to think she is a problem or... Anything like that."

"Your sister has her problems, Sweetheart... But, she always manage to get through it, didn't she? You shouldn't worry your pretty lil' head with those thoughts... Everything will work just fine... Believe in me, okay?"

And then, before you could answer your boyfriend - you heared the bell... One girl [5'3 foot tall] appeared, she was with an well done victorian purple dress, using a chocker with an "E" on it... It was a pretty cute design, she seemed a bit lost - not knowing what to do in that situation - Oh, she is your sister... She started to look around the place while she said something, and then, her eyes meet yours and right after, Friend's eyes. You could feel your blood turning cold... And you felt Friend's grip grew stronger, like he noticed that you were starting to have some thoughts again. You just let a little smile appear while you saw your sister start to move in your direction.

"Oh my, oh my! Don't tell me your boyfriend is he?!" She seemed... Genuine happy? She happily runned towards you and your boyfriend, before any of you could say something, she just hugged the both of you in a strong embrace "Oh! I waited sooo long for this moment! I'm so happy that you are finally with someone, sister!" She said while distancing herself from the couple, she sit on the chair - that was in the front of you and your boyfriend.

"...You... Aren't mad? Or... Sad?" When you exposed your fears, Chloé started to look at you with a worried expression, you felt like you need to explain yourself "Because... You ex..."

"Did I say or write something that made you think that way? Look, [Y/N]... I know that sometimes when I'm venting, I say some very strange stuff... And if It was by any chance one of those things... Know that, as your sister, I ONLY want your happyness... I don't care if my life is horrible... If YOU are happy, I'm happy! Understand?" She just sighs, now, showing an sweet and genuine smile "And to be honest, I don't think about my ex in a long long time... Let's say someone got over my head... They even wanted to learn portuguese because of... You know... Me! I- I couldn't bear the happyness!" While she said that, someone new appeared and was moving towards your table... Wait, wasn't that one of your boyfriend's friend? "...What-" [The hell] "...Oh!! You're finally here. Erza, querido, meet my sister - Y/N - and her boyfriend, Friend." Chloé said while Erza was - already by her side - looking at her with such an... Passion? They seems to love your sister, the way they just let their hand on her shoulder, leaning to give her a quick kiss on the lips "...Oh my... Querido, não faça isto na frente de minha irmã!"

"Oh? You shouldn't worry much, Sugar... After all, I'm pretty sure my friend would do way worst if he could." With only that, your face was pretty red.

"...Oh! You two know each other?" Chloé asked with an smile, seeing the three of you nodding - she would pout before thinking about something GENIUS! "So greaat! We can have double dates!"

"...Friend?" You called in a low tone while Ezra and Chloé were chatting, you got his attetion almost immediately with that only call "What... What Ezra said... Was true? If you... Could, you would do something more to me...?"

"Yes. Kisses, hugs... Anything else... I just need your consent, sweetheart."

"How cute, the lovebirds are chirping their way out."

[Translate: Querido = Darling in Portuguese, "Não faça isso na frente de minha irmã" = Don't do this in front of my sister!]

He is thinking to himself... "How did you not know that you sister was dating AND THAT SHE WAS DATING HIS FRIEND!"... Of course, he is not mad at you for not knowing. he is more than surprised to know that his friend is so close to someone that is sibling with the one he loves.

Of course, he will use this in his favor... After all, if something goes wrong, Erza would help him... Right...?

Erza likes you, they think you are very nice and - they would already know you - they thinks you're a good person, they trully enjoys your company and will ask - sometimes - your help with some stuff Chloé related while you ask stuff Friend related...

If you want to hear them telling you about how Friend talked nonstop about you... Just ask to them.

As an 'Family', nothing changed much - But, Chloé is less reserved and more provocative, especially when asking about an nephew [If you don't want to have children, pregnancy or anything like that, she would give hints of animals, adoption or other.] - But it's super easy to get back at her, since she always tell you everything.

"Your sister seemed to... You know, want us to have a baby - do you want it? To have a human child with me?" [If the answer was "No".] "Oh, that's okay... Do you want to have an animal instead?' [Answer "maybe".] "Hm... Adoption? I wouldn't care to adopt an child... " [Answer "YES".] "Oh my, Sweetheart... Seems like you were waiting for me to answer... So let's not waste time." [Answer "Yes, but not now"] "You prefer to wait? That's fine... I will wait with you, if you ever change plans, talk to me."

By the end of the day, Friend would be holding you close to his body, looking you with such an passion... But before you two could continue cuddling, you wanted to share some stuff with him.

"I'm sorry for being so dramatic, Friend ... I should have been more calm."

"What? What do you mean? You weren't dramatic, you were worried about how Chloé would react to everything... To be honest, you looked... Cute... Of course, you always look cute... But, please, when you are feeling down, talk to me... I want to help you. I'm your boyfriend and I care and love you deeply!... Please, let me be your help" He admited with a blush around his face and with his heart eyes formed, you chuckle a bit before giving him a pat.

"Thank you... Thank you for staying with me... I...I love you, I do truly love you ."

"Never gonna let you down, never gonna turn around and desert you... Sweetheart."

"YOU MOTHERFU-"

MC

This mc's is different. They're more... Gremlin? Like they can get very agressive and/or start to throw memes at someone randomly. MC can also be described as someone who is very intimidating, being very straight forward and not wasting that much of a time. They can be considered one of those who started the relationship since day one, making out with Ren or who just started the relationship after a long long time. (They/Them)

Evania

The drawing above this text it's her! '^^ [This outfit is more simple because I suck at trying to draw behind other bodies shapes.] Eve [Evania] is an sweet young kindergarden Teacher who also do particular teaching. She studied a lot since an younger age just so she could help you [Reader/Mc] with your own thing. Chill and can space-out a lot... Like a lot- Sometimes she gets lost on her own words, needing an time to process her own thoughts... Some people thought that she would have problems with teaching kids, especially if there was an very 'problematic' child. She is 23years old, can be older or younger than you, it wouldn't matter ^^ [Curiosities: She was an robotic hand and if you notice it, her other arm is strange, that's b'cause she lost that arm - but couldn't afford an robotic arm. For now, she is satisfied with just an hand.] (She/her)

She is one of my most developed Mc's I swear-

Ren

You made his day saying yes/asking him to be your boyfriend. He loves you, deeply! That's why he knows a lot of things about you after all! He does like the simple fact that you seemed so... Strangely happy with that? Like, for a momment, he truly thought that you laugh while telling him to fuck off.

Watching you jump with excitement while clapping your hands made him smile so much… Until you screamed, "NOW MY SISTER OWES ME 20 DOLLARS!"

"...Sorry, Angel... B-But WHAT?"

He NEVER knew you had a sister... N e v e r. Why didn't you told him!? Why didn't ever metion it? He knew everything about your daily routine, even the people that you talked with... Why you never meationed your sister?

"Ah... My bad? I have never metion my sis' before, right? Hah- That's because some times I use other name for her... Eeve, yes the Pokemon."

...All this time... He thought you was talking to your [Animal of choose] or even an online pet... Not your sister!? Now, who says "OHOHOHO, NOW COME HERE, YOUR LITTLE PRICK, I'M GOING TO FIND YOU AND PUT YOU IN A POKEBALL" to your own Sister?

Noticing how your boyfriend became - suddenly - quiet and you just walked to him - sitting on the coach by his side - holding his face with an 'The fuck you're thinking bish?' expression to him - he just smilled awkardly.

"Are you okay? Like- You're almost dying on me right now, you fucker-" He started to see yours 'mean words' as worries and praises, like it was suppost to be. "Like- I mean..."

"No, no, Angel... I understand you pretty fine, d-don't worry... O-Okay?" He started, just kissing your cheeks and stroking your shoulder "So don't worry much... I-I see the beauty behind your words."

"...You are such an fucking lovedove crazy ass bitch... I love you." That was a hell of an declaration - I would say. But, you're intriged by one simple thought "...Well... Maybe... Maybe you would like to... Meet my sister?" That offer made Ren's heart stop for a second... Did you- Did you just say what he THINKS you said?!

"YES!" He said so fast that his face became as red as a tomato, he cough while you let out a laugh "I-I mean... A-Are you sure, Angel? I-I don't w-want your sister to... You know?"

"That Eeve-like bitch wouldn't even care. Keep down those thoughts, okay? She will love you" Then, you started to search for her contact before making a video calling, you were in the celular - so it was a lil' more difficult to find a good angle.

"Angel, any angle will be good for you..." He said with an low tone, just being behind you while the both of you waited for her to pick up the call. "Don't need to move that much."

"Yes, bit like- That bitch is craz-" You stopped your talk when you notice your sister on the camera, she was - also with the cellphone - but with an big smile on her face, as always... It reminds you of when the two of you were younger, when she didn't... Hide every 'part that she considers ugly' about herself. A part of her face and body was covered with her hair or outfit while the other, mas exposed. She was using an jacket that covered her left arm and shoulders... Wait, that jacket doesn't seems to be her size and seems very... You know, fancy "Don't tell me you got a sugar daddy, please-"

That were your only worry?- You notice how everyone got quiet until Eve just snorted, laughing to herself.

"Oh my, sister... What an creative thought..." Ren was studing her by her movemments and voice, it was easy to see that she was trying to hide some part of her body - or better, half of it. She also seems very... Relaxed and somehow happy to see her sibling "Who is your friend behind you? He is cute."

It was an inofensive praise, but before you could answer, you heard an low voice saying: "Who is cute, mi vida?"... Wait- An MAN appeared behind Evania, trying to see what the fuck was happening... At the same time, Ren started to hug you protectively from behind, covering your body with his.

"OH MY GOD, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A SUGAR DADDY."

"I-It's nothing like that, [Y/n]... Well... I got to tell you, he is Casanova Valentine... And my boyfriend." You could notice Casanova looking at Evania with an surprised face until it turns into a flushed mess, he just kissed her face while letting a chuckle out.

"...Boyfriend, mi vida?"

"Oh- Sorry... I-I forgot I didn't ask..."

"I don't mind being someone like that to you, mi amor..." You were seriously watching your sister being flirted? Like- Really-

"...Guys, we still here" You said getting the lovebirds attetion "So... Congratulations, 'Casanova', I hope you already has a nova casa cause I'm going to destroy yours if you do something bad to her." You smiled while you looked deep on his eyes... Thinking about all the ways you could shove your foot right at his-

"...I... Thank you sister, but Casanova treats me very well!... Oh, sorry, you called for something important right? I just- Couldn't handle it..." She looked at the ground, starting to be quiet and wait paciently for you... While she were waiting, Casanova started to hug her from behind while played with her hair, he was saying some stuff to her... But you couldn't hear it... You just hope it's not some kinky shit.

"Well, sis'. FIRST, you own me 20 dollars, you also own me an copy of an game - I won't tell you which game - so... Yeah, I'M FUCKING DATING, YOU LIL' BITCH!"

Casanova was surprised. Ren was flushered... And your sister was looking at you with the most dull eyes as possible... Then, she shakes her head and looked at you again.

"I'm sorry... I space-out... Did you say something?" She asked with an worried tone, it was visible that she didn't want to intencionally ignore you.

"WEEEEEEEEEELL! I'M DAAAAAAAAAAATIIING, SISSS!"

"You- Wait... R-Really?" She seemed so happy, looking at you with such an happy expression, she started to look directly at the boy behind you "Is that- Is that him?"

"...Y e s . He is my babyboy, my bitch."

"Ohhh! How nice! I'm very happy because of it, he seems so cute... I want you to - you know - tell me more about him someday!" While she said that you could feel Ren's face starting to hide on your shoulder, his face was completely hot... "Own... Such an cute couple! I hope you two get well...!"

"I wish you well too!" You say, with an big smile while looking at your sister...

Casanova and You maybe hadn't the best begining, but after some time, the two of you would become close friends. As for Evania and Ren, she tried everything she could to talk to Ren from time to time... But she couldn't feel like he was... True? She said that she felt the 'same' way with Casanova too.

You knew how insecure she was and is, especially with her... Parts... Those parts that she tries to hide - are nothing but marks of her past.

...You hoped the two of them were fine! But of course, you and Ren were better than ever... You love him, truly do. But... Does he need to really tease you about this?- Like- he is all shy and out of nowhere, he starts to act all bound with you.

...But somehow, he always manages to make you... Just melt.

"My angel... Would you let me give you pleasure? You can sit on my face and let me do all the job if you want... O-Or you can... Dom me...~"

"...That's it- I'm putting you in horny jail."

Would horny jail be the worst nightmare of the horny yanderes?

Ren was always in love with you... And you find that out a time after, you wanted to talk to him about this... Love... But you couldn't bring yourself to do this - especially when you find out that he... [The Ren that your loved and still love] Is not an actual... Person (?). Just like your sister thought, Ren was faking an personality... But... Why?

You wanted to confront him, but you fear that you may lose him... You decided to wait... Until you felt ready.

...But maybe he already know about this.

#yandere vn #yandere male #restart heart #see thru need a friend #friend stnaf #14dwy ren #14 days with you #14dwy #x reader #headcanon #imagine #genderneutral reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #casanova valentine #cannibal sweetheart #cannibal sweetheart vn

[b4tracha]

I'm sorry for not posting. I'm still not mentally stable and have not been into skz as much due to my instability and irrational anxiety. I hope I am able to write more when I start back therapy, but it will be a long time for me to be consistent. I have started writing part 2, but I keep restarting due to my lack of passion for the writing. I am trying to get better and I hope when I am better, I can write better for everyone.

#stray kids #skz #stray kids x male reader #poly!skz #stray kids x reader

[commanderpigg]

Quote from 2022:

My goal for next year: just have fun drawing! Maybe I’ll learn new skills, maybe I won’t. But I hope I can make art that I’m actually proud of like I was this year. I sense another big life change is coming my way, because I can’t seem to avoid them, but at least I have art to ground me.

Past me, stfu about these life changes because BOOOII you have no idea what 2023 had in store for you...

A breakup, relocation, and many new experiences and life lessons--2023 was rough. I basically stopped drawing for 3 months after shit hit the fan in January (let me know if you ever want me to finish that cilan piece lol) and it's a miracle I have this many completed works. There's some stuff I haven't posted and a lot of incomplete sketches that may never see the light of day, but that's okay. True to my goal from 2022, I made art that I was proud of. I'm lucky to have ended my year on a good note, hugely thanks to the good vibes I was feeling from my friends IRL! In December, I even restarted my CSP subscription on my iPad and even completed the 30-day-OTP challenge I'd been doing for 10 years!

I use these summary of art posts as like my yearly therapy/reflection session. Probably because creating art is one of the few constants in my life, as well as one of my biggest passions, so to almost lose that passion again makes me rethink a lot of my priorities in life. I'm not completely satisfied with a lot of the pieces this year, but despite that, there was this desperation to keep trying--evident with the amount of full-color illustrations and finding a new muse in FFVII Aerith 🥰

I want to see my love of art reflected in next year's summary; whether it be through more completed long-time projects, more original art, or more experimentation. Also, improving my fundamentals like better anatomy, posing, lighting, etc. The future is uncertain, and the horrors persist...but so will I 😈

#im sad this year but an even sadder year was 2019 which was objectively one of The Most years of my life #so you know what i'll take it--be kinder to myself this year cuz dang pigg u actually did the thing #with the end of the pokeani i do worry about the future of my pkmn works but i doubt i'll ever stop drawing the OTP #summary of art #summary of art 2023 #my art

[impromptu-sketches]

Hi...I'm the one who ask BL recs like KazuRei....Just want to say, thanks so much for your answer, I've read some of them, and they were spot on....🤩

If you don't mind, can I ask for another BL recs that have the same vibe as damen/laurent from novels "Captive Prince" (kind, protective, bigger build seme x clever, tsundere, beautiful uke)? Or like andrew/ neil from novels "All for the Game : Foxhole Court" (both have strong personalities, can be reversible couples, looks weak but actually strong) ? Sorry for this long ask, feel free if you want to answer either one, both or none? I just started reading BL, last year, and your blog, are like my guideline..... Thanks so much for sharing your recs and reviews...Again, sorry if I compare them to novels....Hope you have a wonderful day.....

Glad you liked the KazuRei list (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡

I'm a HUGE fan of the Captive Prince trilogy!! Even with adding to the partial list I already have for it, I don't feel like any of these fully capture Damen & Laurent's relationship dynamic or personalities but if you like them you may also like:

Twittering Birds Never Fly | yakuza, bdsm, masochist bottom boss x new employee (ongoing)

Liveta | (recommending Liveta for them too) fantasy, prince bottom x commoner top, enemy lands (ongoing)

Taming the Tiger | historical, uke lord x seme slave (ongoing)

King's Maker / King's Maker Triple Crown | fantasy, political, royalty, slow burn, bottom is the brains x top is the bronze (ongoing)

Mad Place | detective x suspect, clever & cute uke (ongoing)

Under the Green Light | gang leader x student (ongoing)

Steel Under Silk | historical, seme lord x uke slave (ongoing)

Therapy Game / Therapy Game Restart | gorgeous uke, soft & sweet, wholesome (ongoing)

●

I haven't read All For the Game, I'm only vaguely familiar with the story (my understanding of it is angsty and aggressive college boys with dark undertones?), but here's my best shot at recommendations for Andrew and Neil. Let me know what you think or what you would recommend instead:

Love Shuttle | adults, omegaverse, strong omega, enemies to lovers, coworkers (completed)

Wet Stand | adults, gangs, love triangle, strong uke (ongoing)

Dark Heaven | adults, bandmates, childhood friends to lovers, switches, ride or die relationship (completed)

OUROBOROS | psychological, love triangle, past trauma/abuse (completed)

Lost in the Cloud | students, psychological (ongoing)

Wagging the Tail | college, enemies to lovers, switches, animal characteristics (completed)

A Shoulder to Cry On | students, love/hate relationship (completed)

Sweet and Cold | college, childhood friends (completed)

19 Days | students, slice of life, comedy, gang family ties (ongoing)

●

I'd love to hear other recommendations, especially for Captive Prince if anyone has any!

♡ Thank you for the questions

#twittering birds never fly #king's maker #19 days #captive prince #all for the game #the foxhole court #bl manga #yaoi #bl manhwa

[hils79]

Well, I’ve finished Rain Village 3 and that takes me as far as the translations go. It seems only fitting that the last few chapters were completely unhinged even by DMBJ standards

Wu Xie is basically getting ready to go to war with some monkeys

But this is so pure! They all went swimming together and of course Xiaoge started burrowing

No, really, they are legit going to war with a pack of monkeys

This really is quite disturbing

Wu Xie, have you considered therapy?

Like this isn’t assault on precinct 13

I can understand Wu Xie and Pangzi getting really into this but Xiaoge too? I mean I know he goes along with his husbands’ antics but sniping monkeys with candy?

Pangzi legit just kicked a monkey in the balls

But it’s all good Wu Xie defeated the monkey king and they all went home to their dream house and perfect courtyard

And this is basically what every Yucun fic I have written boils down to

And that’s it! I have been reading these books for over 2 years and I haven’t even read all of them. Just the main story and a few extras.

There’s a Yucun 4 that hasn’t been translated yet, and a Restart sequel that is in the middle of being translated. But I’ll come back to those at a later point. After today I am going to tackle my huge to be read pile that has built up while I’ve been reading this nonsense (affectionate)

To those who have been following my readalong from Twitter over to here I hope you enjoyed

#Hils reads #Hils reads dmbj #dmbj #daomu biji #Yucun Biji #notes from rain village

[nervousron]

I was replaying fresh meat and I really wish the game showed the like effect that it had on mikey. I read a fic like whet he became a peskatreian (I've butcherd the spelling but a veggie that eats fish) and freaks out whenever Trevor talks about cannablism.

I might write sm about the aftermath of fresh meat trikey style.

This doesn't make mush sense but I'd love to hear your thoughts about fresh meat, especially the aftermath

Duuude yeah Meat by @nevergonnasimpyoumikey ?! Its such a good fic. Michael is a tough rocko macho guy, but he's definitely gonna be affected by the trauma hes gone through.

Also sorry i never oublished this ask! I had been coming back and rewording it a hundred times then never posted. So heres the things i stopped and started! Theres a lot of repeating in there from me restarting ideas, so sorry for the repetitiveness!

I love thinking aboutbjow micjael feels before and after. Slightlu conflicted, but mostly angry. Hiding his shame and guilt behind fury. I think Michael would totally develop a small grudge against Trevor over it. In the beginning im sure he's pissed, but at least gets the karmic joke of it all. He lied to Trevor and tried to have him killed. Now Trevor's life decisions post-ludendorff are what will kill Michael. He gets it, he's piss-scared, and he's pretty sure he's gonna die. But there's a part of him that hopes that Trevor's loyalty will win out. Hes fucked him over countless times, and T always came back no matter what. Maybe this time wont be different? Trevor will show up at the last second and everything will be fine. But then again-

after the abuse he deals with from Cheng and his men, he starts getting more scared. He doesnt want to deal with that, so he gets angrier. Angry at Cheng, Trevor, Dave Norton, and himself. Then back around to Trevor because if hes gonna die, hes not gonna die being self reflective about the consequences of his actions.

When youre playing as Franklin you can overhear two of Cheng's men talking about sending Michael's meat to Trevor when theyre done killing him. I really hope one of them mentioned it to Michael too, because thatd be a fun nightmare for him to have on repeat.

And his lines when hes a cow from peyote are fun to throw into this mess:

"Aint no one gonna make bacon outta me, baby"

I thought i was a man, now i eat grass? Is that better?

I used to eat meat, now people want to kill me. Why, im not so bad. I mean sure i used to kill people and now i eat flowers, but give a recidivist ruminant a break, will ya?

I think the smell of meat would be nauseating for him for a while. But considering he kills on the regular and is more than accustomed to gorey smells, I think itd twist in a particular way that makes him more inclined to "power through it" and just eat a bunch of medium rare bleeder burgers, almost like exposure therapy. He throws up all of it, but he at least thinks theres some progress there.

I think deep down michael was hoping trevor would come back for him. Cause if he did, it would mean he was forgiven. He knows what he did was the end all be all of betrayal, and he knows that in a sick way this is probably karma and he definitely deserves it. But he doesnt want to die, and definitely not in a meat grinder. But alone in a cold cell he probably laughed to himself over the irony. Trevors fuck-up being the reason he dies. The whole mess he was trying to avoid by fucking atrevor over in the first place.

I would love to read anything and everything youve got about fresh meat!

#talkaton

[astridthevalkyrie]

i read your post and i’m so sorry you have to go all through that, astrid!! i’m white and atheist so i know i’ll never be able to properly understand from your perspective but just know i’m always here if you need someone to talk to. it does sound like it’s forming into religious trauma, which you know can vary in levels and religion in general is just so fucking tough and i think some people forget that. i personally wish it isn’t and that people just respect one another, whether different beliefs or same beliefs but choosing your own ways, in the end it’s all up to you and obviously i don’t know your mother but can only hope one day she’ll accept your choices. remember that even if it’s only one person proud of you, that still matters a lot and if that one person is me then i will tell you whenever you need to hear, that i’m proud of you. for being such a strong and smart person. like a scholarship!? that’s crazy! in a good way of course 🫶 you’re such a lovely person full of love and talent, never forget that. so much love to you for always staying strong but if you need a moment of weakness, that’s okay too.

always here. 🫶

fae <333 i appreciate this so much thank you

yeah there is definitely a huge religious trauma here. i've just restarted therapy so hopefully i'll be able to talk about it more in there but i also have an issue that a lot of therapists' approach seems to be "what is a way for you to practice healthily and have good relations with your religion again" because at least as of right now my relationship with my religion is like. i do not wanna practice. i don't like this religion, i don't like devout followers of this religion, and i don't wanna be a part of it. ofc that's not to say people can't or shouldn't practice it, but it's definitely not for me. i'm muslim in belief only at this point and i don't want to be pushed towards accepting it, i want to be able to move away from it safely. but i digress. let's see how this therapy thing works out lol

thank you so much for the ask and the sweet words :)

#there's so much to unpack in therapy idk where to start LOL

[kfedup]

Some notes from therapy

Restarting after a nearly 4-year hiatus has been enlightening. I think I’m in better shape than I realized. 

I might need to switch to someone else with more life experience. She’s young, maybe 30 tops, and I want to focus on midlife and future things. I’ll give it a few more sessions, though, and see what's what. 

I forgot how much I don’t enjoy telling my childhood story. The thought of having to do it again if I decide to find someone older is very overwhelming, but I can’t stay if that’s the only thing keeping me there. I think I have a pretty solid understanding of my patterns and how they developed, so I hope after today’s session, we can move on from there and I can get to work shifting some things.

I was hoping to end the session with an idea of a plan, but she isn’t there yet.  

I also forgot how much I want to nap after a session. But, I lost three days this week to various medical things for myself and for Lila, so I have to press on and get some work accomplished before my writing class starts at 7:00. 

A thing I said out loud during today’s session is that I am never again dating or partnering with someone who has not done any kind of therapy or growth work. 

I’m worried that I know the language and have the script down. She seems a little flummoxed as to why I am even there. What I really wanted was to start working with a Jungian analyst, but there are none in my insurance network. Again, I ask: why the fuck do I pay for insurance anyway? 

#therapy is as therapy does #I really do think I need to find someone older #crap

[askaiclavell]

"Log" Files

_________________________

You tap on the "Log" files, hoping that whatever this machine had been logging could help you figure out what had happened to Cl4ve11...

Plus... what if you found some secret lore or something? Games always hide extra lore in places like this... maybe you could get some rarely known insight about this world or some little tidbit!

You skim through the later logs, your digital eyebrows furrowing as you look through the dates. You select one at random, and start reading.

Entry 251- The machine is complete. The tests I have ran on it have proven successful, there IS another time out there... one that we can now reach. If... only Sada were here to see it. ______

You frown at that, your curiosity getting the better of you as you skim down some more, selecting another file.

‐--------

Entry 287- The two pokemon do not seem to be getting along well... perhaps it is a territory issue? I'll have to move them apart to see if this resolves the problem, Lab four should serve as a good temproary place for the aggressive one for now. Cl4ve11 might be able to care for the timider one... It may help him protect Arven. What... am I even saying... He can't... I can't let one of the subjects run free... On the serface. I'm... I'm just tired. All this time alone is making me lose sleep... I... I miss them. My family. Sada, Arven... Cl4ve11... my old friend... I... I hope they are alright. This... is a professional research log... not a DIARY Turo Reyes... Pull yourself TOGETHER. ________ Entry 297- Moving the bigger Miraidon to Lab four has proven sucsessful. They seem to be at least calmer around each other, so I consider that a small victory. Cl4ve11 reported that Arven's condition is improving, the spinal aid I developed for him had been working exactly as I had hoped. He has even began physical therapy to start walking on his own. I am... so proud of him. He's strong... just like his parents. Cl4ve11.. is stsrting to show signs of Deviancy. Small things; expressions,hesitations, questions he formed on his own... the fond little smile he has when speaking of Arven. I'm happy he's finally learning how to live, how to be human, how to be ALIVE. He was always stuck here with us, I was afraid he would never discover that he was made to be.... so much more. Ah. Perhaps I should just turn this into a personal log at this point. Entry-317 I... I don't know if I can keep doing this. Sada is gone, she will not come back. Arven is... I... I don't even want to think about that right now. Is... Is all of this for nothing? Have we spent... no... have I spent all of this time for nothing but pain and loss? Is Paradise just a twisted fantasy I keep telling myself is real? No... no I must keep going. Sada would have wanted me to complete it. Arven... needs his world to be PERFECT. Cl4ve11 deserves a place where his kind is no longer looked down upon... I have to... to proceed. I have to... For THEM. _________ You can't help the feelings of sadness you expirience from reading the late Professor's words. He seemed so... despondent... like he had lost all hope and love. You take a moment to let the moment pass, taking a deep breath before looking back at the files. There is a significant time jump, almost half a year before they restarted...but they seem to take... a very abrupt change. Instead of scientific musings and tender recollections of family and friends... it was mostly lists of readings, changes, clinical observations... it was like the logs had been written by an entirely different version of Turo. You skip to the last entry, the strange feeling of unease only increasing as you read the words. _______ Entry 335- Machine: Stable Energy readings: Optimal System Integrity: 76% Shell: Incomplete, Operational ERROR- Repairs needed. Core function unstable. Operational coding incomplete. Notes: Intruder found. Damage. Further study needed. Subject relocated to Main Lab. Proceed.

-------

Well that was.... weird. The timestamp on the log read that it was created only a few hours ago, not a year or two. That means...

The professor didn't write this.

But...

If not him...

Then who?

You read through the words again, the frown on your face slowly changing to a look of horror. Wait, if this was written only a few hours ago... that was EXACTLY when Cl4ve11 had gone missing.

"Subject moved to main Lab. Intruder detected...."

Whoever had written these entries knew Cl4ve11 was here... worse...

They had Cl4ve11.

You start float-pacing, trying to keep your mind from running off on you with panic. Ok... ok think. What had you learned.

Cl4ve11 was dragged out of here not walked away, the teleporter didn't work, you found ripped and damaged white cloth and evidence that someone has obviously been messing with or taking over the Professor's lab. Oh... and Cl4ve11 is apparently kidnapped. Yay.

You suck in a calming breath, steeling yourself as you weigh your options.

You need to act fast.

#pokemon au #android au #ai!clavell #askaiclavell #director clavell #pokemon sv #pokemon #choose your own adventure #EVENT HORIZON INITIATED