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lucienarcheron · 7 days

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Spirit Meets the Bones - XV

Genre: Angst/Romance Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse. PLEASE NOTE: This chapter will contain physical abuse with some implied language that may be found triggering.

shoutout to @abruisedmuse for always listening to me ramble <3

Find it all here.

The promise of death had slipped out of his mouth before he could process what was happening, and Eris’s jaw clenched as he glanced at his father-in-law, thinking of the time he had wasted playing his father’s games.

Eris had known his father would fuck around to keep him from being here when Lord Aron arrived, but he hadn’t realized the asshole had already slipped in undetected.

All the High Lord had said was, “Stay. The sight of you brings me joy, son.”

And Eris had been forced to stand in silence as his father ignored him, while Iris met with her father alone.

But if Eris pushed, Beron would only delight in twisting this nugget of information. And Eris couldn't risk it.

Although none of it mattered in the end.

Anger and a slight panic had fueled his steps, knowing his father was likely laughing his ass off after he finally released him, but it was as he set foot into the hall leading to their chambers that he froze and every single nerve in his body went on high alert. Because Eris heard Iris.

He had felt her calling for him and didn’t stop to think about how when he felt her panic course through him.

Eris winnowed directly to the front of their door and froze again, listening for a moment — his jaw clenching at the sneering of her father. To his threats against her. So many threats and Eris saw red.

Now he was crouched before his wife, his Iris, who was on the floor with bruises. Who had flinched back from him because of her father.

His wife, whom he had promised to be here with her when this piece of shit came.

He’d welcome Lord Aron warmly alright.

“Can you stand?” he asked her ever so gently and Iris massaged a hand to her throat then nodded. He held out a hand and waited as Iris watched him, her eyes looking at him with an expression he certainly wouldn’t read into now. An expression that made the beating of his heart turn erratic.

But then Lord Aron snorted and Iris flinched back, her hand shooting back to her side, her eyes snapping to her father. Eris’s hand slowly curled into a fist and he spared the Lord one look before his eyes fell back on Iris.

“I’m going to have a word with your father. Would you like to be here for this or go elsewhere?” he asked her quietly and Iris licked her lips, shaking her head.

“I’m staying.” she said hoarsely and he nodded. He had expected nothing less from her.

Slowly, Eris straightened as his father-in-law stared at him.

“That isn’t the warm welcome I expected, Eris.” Lord Aron replied then cleared his throat. “That statement is a threat.”

“Yes. It is.” Eris said simply, his eyes cataloging every detail about the awful male in front of him and his mind drifted back to every foul thing Iris had told him about her father. “Bow.”

His father-in-law blinked then flushed. “Is that necessary? We are family.”

Eris cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. “Do you bow to the High Lord?”

“Of course. He is the High Lord.”

“And I am the High Lord’s son.” Eris said coldly. “I do not consider you my family, Bertillon. Bow.”

Lord Aron’s flush deepened, and he shot Iris a glare. “Look what you’ve done you stupid bi —”

A growl slipped from Eris’s lips, cutting off the lord’s rant and he held himself taut enough that it was almost painful. It took every ounce of Eris’s willpower not to rip the male apart. “I strongly suggest you not finish that statement.” Eris hissed and finally, his father-in-law had the decency to have some fear in his eyes.

Swallowing, Lord Aron shot Iris one more look of contempt before bowing his head towards Eris.

“Lower.” Eris snarled lowly.

The Lord hesitated for a heartbeat before bending at the waist.

Eris surveyed him then hummed. He glanced at Iris, still on the floor a few feet away from where both he and her father stood, watching her father with disgust. It eased his tension only slightly that her bruises had already started to fade but didn’t stop the guilt — the anger — that she had them in the first place.

His mother’s bruises flashed in his mind and Eris looked back to the second male who he would daydream about viciously shredding to pieces.

Clasping his hands behind his back, Eris spoke calmly. “I will give you one chance to answer this correctly.” he began and Lord Aron’s eyes narrowed. “Why, exactly, are you here? Other than to tell lies about your daughter.”

“I don’t have to answer you when you speak to me that way, Eris.” Lord Aron snarled and shot Iris a glare.

Eris smiled.

“Oh, but you do, Bertillon. The only reason you’re still standing where you are and not dead is because of your daughter.” he said, his tone a lethal calm and Lord Aron’s mouth twisted.

“Your father wouldn’t like that.” he replied quietly and Eris’s smile darkened.

“I suggest you worry less about my father and fix that face. I’m not one you should be looking at like that.” he said quietly. “Especially when my fire could wrap itself around your throat and I could so easily...let it burn.”

Lord Aron blanched then cleared his throat, attempting to fix his jacket for a quiet moment before answering. “I came to make sure my daughter isn’t giving you a hard time.” he replied and despite the lack of color in his face, he shot Iris another look of disdain. “I know she has the tendency to overstep her boundaries often.”

Eris blinked, feeling the very tight leash on his anger very close to snapping, his rage building and building and building. How often must he watch the people he cares about deal with this? He already had his father to deal with and now...this vermin seemed to think he could come in here and put his hands on his wife. He took a step towards the male as the room drastically heated. “Who gave you permission to come in here?”

Her father blinked. “As your father-in-law, I assumed I was welcome to come see my daughter as I wished.”

Eris let a heartbeat of silence pass, the fury whirling in his body, giving his father-in-law a moment to realize just how badly he had fucked up. A moment passed before he said too quietly and too calmly, “You assumed wrong.”

And then Eris was on him.

Fire encompassed them both as Eris wrapped a hand tightly around the lord’s neck and slammed him into the ground, hovering over him.

“No one has permission to be in here. No one.” he snarled softly. “Did my wife want you in here?”

“Let go of me.” his father-in-law hissed but a deadly smirk found its way to Eris’s lips and his grip tightened.

“Answer. The. Question.” he demanded softly. “Did she grant you permission to be in here? Because I certainly didn’t.”

“Your father —”

“Isn’t here.” Eris snapped, his fingers digging into Aron’s throat. “Answer. The. Question.”

“No.” Aron choked out and Eris’s hand heated around the lord’s throat.

“Then it seems to me,” Eris began, and it was the wrath of a god streaming from his fingertips. “That if anyone has the tendency to overstep their boundaries here, it’s you.” He spat and leaned in closer. “You forget yourself, Lord. You forget that while you are in the home of the High Lord and in his pocket, whatever permission my father gave you, doesn’t — apply — to — me.”

Eris leaned back again and whatever damper he usually had on his anger was loosened slightly so that nothing but fire could be found in his gaze.

“You made me break my promise.” he said in a deadly calm. “And then you put your hands on my wife.” Slowly, without breaking eye contact, he slid his free hand to Aron’s and with the truly sinister smile he was known for, Eris twisted his arm back and simply...snapped it.

The lord howled and a savage grin bloomed on Eris’ face.

“Yes, you should scream.” Eris said quietly. “You decided to come in here and put your hands on my wife and then have the audacity to think you’d be able to do it again. She flinched back from me because of you. And well...I don't like that.” Eris tightened his grip on Aron’s twisted arm and the lord let out another yelp. “I really, really don’t like it. So now, I’m going to break every bone in your body.”

“She’s my daughter.” her father-in-law snarled. “You can’t do this! I’ll tell your father.”

Eris let out a low laugh. “On the contrary, you can’t do anything.” he said and slid his hand to Aron’s broken one and then one by one, bent his fingers back far enough to break. Eris watched with feral delight as the lord screamed in agony, thinking of Iris’s bruised cheek. Thinking of her bruised throat.

“Consider everything I’m going to do to you as payback for everything you’ve done to her over the years.” he snarled softly and any color left on the lord’s face disappeared as the stench of his fear filled the room. “Oh yes, I’ve heard all about it. I’m going to make you regret every waking moment of your life until now.”

“Eris — son, let’s not —”

But Eris didn’t let him finish. A fist of flame slammed into Aron’s face and it sent him flying back into the table then he crumbled to the floor with a groan, his broken arm hanging useless on his side.

Eris ran a hand through his hair and rolled his shoulders back as he watched Lord Aron pitifully try to sit up. He watched him struggle, watched and knew how his cheek would swell up and that blackened eye would remain closed for a while. Delighted in the slight burn marks on his neck like a pretty necklace.

But it still felt too little. It didn’t feel like enough. He had touched his wife. His wife who he was supposed to protect and had failed. Because her father decided to overstep just like his father tried to overstep. The urge to kill and kill and kill consumed him.

His feet moved on their own, flame licking at his heels, until he crouched in front of Aron again and gripped him by his hair, yanking his head back. “Do not ever call me son, Bertillon. You are nothing to me.”

“Enough.” the lord rasped. “T-this is enough.”

Eris slanted his head, assessing him calmly. “Is it? You put bruises on my wife. You threatened her with more.” He leaned in closer as Bertillon flinched back and a wicked smirk found its way to Eris’s lips. “Did you think you could walk out of here the same way you walked in? With no consequences?”

“Eris — we can —”

“Didn’t anyone tell you?” Eris spoke and it was almost like he was in a trance as he let his fire wrap around his father-in-law’s neck once more. “I really, really don’t like it when people think they can overstep their boundaries with me, and you are too confident for your own good.”

He watched Lord Aron swallow thickly and his smirk widened.

“I - I’m sorry — let’s just —”

Eris clicked his tongue and Aron silenced immediately. “You shouldn’t be apologizing to me. You should be apologizing to Iris.”

Lord Aron’s face flushed, and he sent a glare toward Iris, who watched all this in stunned silence.

“I have nothing to apologize to her for. She’s my daughter. I will treat her as I see fit.”

Eris said nothing for a moment, simply watching the male then nodded. Tightening his grip on the male’s hair, Eris slammed him back into the table once more then pulled him closer.

“Let’s try that again.” he said calmly. “Don’t be stupid now, Bertillon. If I tell you to apologize, you will apologize.”

Lord Aron blinked a few times, the slam to his head clearly dazing him. Eris only watched him as he blinked again stupidly then his eyes flickered to Iris, his gaze hardening. “Why would I apologize when she puts me in positions like this?”

“These are the consequences of your own actions. Your mouth and hands put you in this position, you scum.” Eris snarled softly. “You are the only one responsible for your choices so apologize.”

Aron attempted to glare, barely able to with one eye swollen shut. His lip curled in disgust, glancing once more at Eris then back at Iris.

“I can say the words all you want,” he spoke quietly, his eyes never leaving his daughter. “But I will never mean them. I am sorry for nothing, you useless girl.”

Eris blinked then smiled slowly, ever so gently tugging his father-in-law’s head back, bringing his gaze back to meet his eyes. “I see.” he said softly. “I guess we’ll have to do this the hard way then.”

Aron licked his lips quickly, glancing between Iris and Eris before opening his mouth to speak. “W-wait —”

But Eris tightened his grip and Lord Aron blanched, falling silent immediately. Eris let the blazing flame in his gaze rest on Aron, his hands heating around his throat once more, taking a deep breath.

“I wonder,” Eris began, his voice as soft as a lover’s. “Where should I begin with you?”

Aron made a choking sound as Eris dragged him by the throat closer to him, watching as he turned slightly blue.

“Should I start with your spine? I know exactly where to break it so you don’t die too quickly and suffer properly. Make sure you really feel it.” he said with an unhinged smile. “What about a few burns? We can start right at a second degree then quickly go deeper. Maybe some permanent damage? I could give you a permanent facial deformity. Your physical appearance should match how disgusting you are on the inside, no?”

“Eris — wait —”

Eris slammed Aron’s head back into the table again, earning him a groan. “You know what? Let’s start with your other arm. You don’t really need your hands anyway.”

And Eris saw nothing, registered nothing else aside from his fists and his magic unleashing themselves on his father-in-law. He was vaguely aware of him snapping Aron’s other arm. Recalled briefly the feel of his nose crunching beneath his fist.

But it didn’t matter. It wasn’t enough.

He wanted his blood to fill the halls. He wanted every bone in his body to turn to dust. He wanted him to shrivel into ash.

Most of all, Eris wanted to take back every moment Iris had been alone with him, take back the panic she had felt — that Eris had felt.

The panic Eris had felt at his own father’s smug smile from earlier. His father, who Eris had no doubt, allowed this idiotic male to walk around this cocky.

A scream of agony tore through his thoughts, and it made Eris grin as a sound of bone crunching followed. The feeling of the bastard’s blood coating his knuckles as his fist collided again and again and again until —

He heard something else.

“Eris.”

His name.

A gentle hand touched his shoulder through the flame encompassing him. Flame that would burn anyone else but one —

Only when her voice said his name once more, did he pause and turn to look at his wife slowly.

She was standing before him, her eyes wide but Eris saw no fear in them, just — just concern.

“Eris, it’s okay. You can stop now.” she said softly, her hands still on his shoulder.

He blinked. “He hurt you.” Eris said simply and Iris licked her lips as she squeezed his shoulder gently.

“I know. But I think that’s enough.” she said, and her gaze flickered to her father for a moment before meeting Eris’s gaze again. “I think he’s learned his lesson.”

“He’s owed more than this.” Eris replied, his gaze locked on her beautiful face, still healing. “He made me break my promise.”

“I know.” she agreed and didn’t break his gaze, giving him a tight smile. “But I don’t want him ruining the carpet. I think you can let him go.”

Eris blinked again and the corner of his mouth lifted. He kept his gaze on his wife and when Iris nodded briefly, he nodded back. He turned back to her father and gave his swollen, broken figure a look of disgust.

“Consider this a warning,” Eris began coldly. “You are no longer related to Iris. You will have nothing to do with her or with me. You will not come near either of us. You will not ask about her, attempt to visit, or attempt to contact her at all.” He turned to Iris. “Does this sound reasonable to you, wife?”

She blinked in surprise then nodded. “Yes.”

“Good.” he said with a smile that was anything but kind as he turned back to his father-in-law. “If I find out that you even thought about crossing those boundaries, I will tie you to a column in the middle of the courtyard and torture you in all the methods you think the High Lord has tried and more. Do I make myself clear?”

The lump of flesh that was Lord Aron gave a weak nod. Satisfied, Eris stood then dragged the limp body of his father-in-law and opened their chamber door to find several of his sentries waiting there.

“Dump him in an empty room. He isn’t allowed to see a healer for a few hours. I want him to be reminded of this pain every moment until then.” he commanded. “If anyone asks, tell them it’s my business. Should they ask again, I’ll gladly pile them right next to him.”

Eris glanced down at what was left of Lord Aron and granted his father-in-law one last look of burning rage. “Consider yourself lucky to be alive, you filthy piece of shit.” he swore and crouched down to meet his trembling gaze. “This time you got off easily. Next time...there won’t be anything left of you to find. I can promise you that.”

He watched his father-in-law twitch slightly, a small whimper slipping from the male’s lips and savage satisfaction coursed through Eris’s veins. Using one finger, the Prince of Autumn pressed into his father-in-law’s throat and let a little heat surge through it. The lump that was his father-in-law made a choking sound that only caused Eris to smile darkly. “You are very very lucky your daughter wanted to grant you a little mercy. I don’t consider it in my nature when it comes to filth who overstep their boundaries, especially when you don’t deserve it.” he snarled softly. “I pray you aren’t foolish enough to approach Iris again because I will simply delight in showing you exactly how much I like to let it burn.”

With that, Eris straightened and waved a hand, watching as his sentries dragged what was left of Lord Aron.

Eris let a ragged breath shudder out of him before turning back into their chamber and closing the door behind him. He needed to calm his rage. Calm the level of anger and tension coming off him in waves. He knew the room had heated the moment he stepped back into it but was hesitating to turn around, hesitating to find Iris and see fear in her eyes. Turning slowly, his eyes immediately found his wife who was staring at the spot where her father had been, the flecks of his blood splattered on the floor.

He swallowed hard then cleared his throat and said, “I’ll have someone clean it.”

Iris’s head snapped up to him and Eris paused in place. His throat bobbed at her assessing gaze and he clasped his shaking hands behind his back. He knew he looked rumpled, wild even, and knew he was still running on a lot of anger, his body coursing with so much adrenaline at the way his magic had thrived to be released.

He had always held himself on a tight leash and this wasn’t the way he wanted Iris to see him unrestrained. Not in a way that could instill fear. Only last night she had told him she was still scared and now —

Eris waited, watching her with a look that matched the intensity of what he was feeling. He couldn’t help the cascade of emotions coursing through his body when he looked at her, cataloging how she stood. The feeling of it was about to bring him to his knees. He took a quiet breath, relaxed his shoulders, and let his hands fall to his sides as he waited for Iris to speak.

But he said nothing. And she said nothing.

Iris watched him as he watched her, and a faint sense of dread began to slide its way through his bloodstream. After a moment, she took a hesitant step towards him then froze as her gaze fell to his hands and Eris felt his heart drop. He watched her swallow then turn and silently make her way to their bathroom. He watched her go and waited for a tense moment, wondering if she would lock herself in there to stay away from him. Had he gone too far? Had he scared her?

He swallowed, knowing he wouldn’t be able to handle her avoiding him again. Not after last night. Not after everything that just happened.

He felt that dread start tingling in his fingertips and make its way steadily up his arms and his chest — he felt too much. And he wasn’t ready for something he had barely begun to enjoy to crumble.

#eris vanserra #eris vanserra x oc #eris x oc #eris vanserra fanfic #acotar fanfiction #smtb chapters #gfics #if you'd like to be tagged or removed (no hard feelings!) please let me know!#thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!!#let's see if the damn tags will work this time lol

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katsukes · 2 years

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@animangacreators challenge » friendship day ↳ killua zoldyck for eri @himetsundere ♡

#hxhedit #hxhgraphics #hunter x hunter #hxh #fyhxh #killua #killua zoldyck #dailyanime #anisource #manga #anime #m #m: edit #m: colouring #m: hunter x hunter #m: acc #eri hi!! happy friends day!#hope you like this little gift <3 #1k

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gizaoyas · 1 year

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"I'm not fighting because I want to win, I'm fighting because I have to win" ❃ BLEACH

→ Merry Christmas Eri @deathberi from your animanga secret santa @animangasecretsanta

↳ @animangacreators challenge #12 : secret santa

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luck-of-the-drawings · 1 month

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!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]

REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #cw flashing lights #LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!!#RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!!#BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!!#MAYBE SOMEDAY.....#ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww.#i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!!#i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness #LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!!#better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT?#U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!!#im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it #BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS #WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!!#GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY.#OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON #PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!!#ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!!#IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that.#ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.

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hakusins · 9 days

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@digenerate-trash's forgotten au / apocalypse au - pc sheet for eri! 💕

cw // mentions of cannibalism, pregnancy, violence

had a sudden urge to draw my girl and thought making a pc sheet for the forgotten au. very straightforward tbh, she was surviving just fine in robin's faction for a good while since the start of the apocalypse, but then she got pregnant from an assault :(( (not by any named NPCs) so now she has to worry over some little ones.

whats worse is that there had been some pregnant members in robin's faction that had been attacked lately during the night by some unnoticeable people (the cannibals have taken a liking to the taste of pregnant women). it's caused a lot of stress for her and so she decided to leave and join whitney's group just long enough to give birth to the little ones. (did not expect to fall for the asshole leader at all nope -)

her plan afterwards was initially to go back to robin's faction and raise the children there, but she wondered if this was actually the best idea. after speaking with the scouts in whitney's faction, it was actually discovered that the forest was quite in tact and seems to be untouched/unnoticed by the attacks (she has no way to verify this information), and so decided that afterwards, she'll make her way to the forest. hehe, not quite sure if she decides to go through with it or not, perhaps a bad enough fight with whitney might cause her to run off with the kids 👀

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dt75artblog · 5 months

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My @nagamas gift for @erikensa! When you are a mage with a funny little monocle talking about how to ethically use dark magic <3.

#fire emblem #canas #etzel #fe7 #fe11 #fe12 #love this thing! the wizard #anyways hope you like eri! I hope I did your man justice

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razzafrazzle · 1 month

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redraw of my Personal Favorite eris and geo image that has been my lockscreen for two years now i think. original below the cut

[image description: a drawing of two original characters, eris and geo, in a dimly lit room. eris, a short, pale-skinned demon with buzzed bright red hair, is squeezing geo's pec and looking deviously at the viewer while geo, a tan-skinned taller muscular man with an eyepatch over one eye and an opened button-up shirt, is seemingly talking to someone off-screen. end id]

fun fact apparently i drew this original one on 9/11

[image description: the original version of the drawing from 2022. end id]

#every year i wind up drawing geo chubbier. it rules actually #id like to think ive gotten better at drawing features lately #like you can actually tell that geo isnt white now #at least. i think #i hope everyone turns their attention to eris's Classic Sims 4 Eyeball Ring #i know no one likes that ring but I Do Okay. bc my sims dress like goobers #doc talks #my art #my characters

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deathberi · 2 years

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MIST HASHIRA 〜 MUICHIRO TOKITO for lena @sleepytortellini! ^w^

»» @animangacreators challenge six : friendship day

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #knyedit #muichiro tokito #eri gifs #amc #*#omg hiii lena #happy friendship day!#hope you'll like my gift you >///<#<3

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nocasdatsgay · 4 months

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The Price You Pay For Power Ch. 1

An ACOSF AU Neris Fanfic

Summary: Eris revises his bargain with Rhysand: Nesta for Autumn Healers. He agrees and Nesta is sent to Autumn under the guise as Eris’s new bride in order to assist with removing Beron for good. Now she has to navigate a new court and also decide just how much she will trust her new husband.

Author’s Note: I did it. I started it. CWs are posted under the read more. Full list on AO3; more will be added as story progresses as needed.

AO3 Link | Master Post | Ch. 1 Under Read Below

CW: Brief Flashback to a Vanserra Brother’s birth and Lady of Autumn’s (basically) C-Section.

*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rhysand’s patience was already at its limit when Eris walked into the office down in Hewn City. An impromptu meeting, requesting only Rhys’s presence. He didn’t hide his annoyance at the Autumn Heir while those amber eyes raked over him.

“You look awful,” Eris flung his hair back over his shoulder with a quick turn of his head. He sat in the first chair closest to the door.

“I don’t have time for your smart mouth,” Rhys growled. “Cut the bullshit and tell me what you want. Or get out.”

“I think it’s time to take out my father.” Eris replied, back straightened and staring at Rhys. “He’s been visiting the continent more. With his alliance to that human crone, things are about to get very complicated.”

“We already have a bargain.”

“And I’m calling it. I want Nesta.”

Night fell off of Rhys as his anger mounted. “No.”

“Just until my father is dead.” His eyes rolled and leaned on the arm of his chair. “So dramatic. We smuggle her in under the guise that she accepted my proposal. She helped kill the King of Hybern, she can help kill Beron. She will be safe, my father is terrified of her.”

“No.”

Eris studied him. “I’ll give you anything you ask.”

“You have nothing I want.”

“Not even, say, skilled healers?”

Time stood still for a moment. Rhys knew he gave himself away with silence. But there was no possible way for Eris to know. No one knew but the inner circle.

“Why would I need healers?”

“You’re not as discreet as you think you are.” Eris smiled wickedly. “There’s something wrong with the babe in your mate’s womb.”

In a blink Rhys was across the table, yanking Eris from his chair by his neck. Darkness filled the room while he held him by his throat against the wall.

“What do you know?” He said through gritted teeth.

“You’ve been searching Prythian for anything and everything to do with birthing children with wings.” Eris didn’t bother to pull at Rhys’s hold. He choked out, “our healers can perform the process to remove the babe safely that you’re looking for.”

Rhys’s eyes were fully black, his grip tightened. “How do I know you aren’t lying?”

“Put me down and I’ll show you.”

Rhysand debated snapping his neck. But a part of him wanted to see. If he could save Feyre- he dropped his hold, letting Eris sputter and cough.

“Show me. Now.”

Rhysand reached into Eris’s mind and clawed hard at the wall. In a moment he was let in.

“The babe is stuck,” a healer- Edith, Eris’s mind supplied, said.

She pulled out her bag and through Eris’s eyes he heard him say, “you can’t.”

“I know what I’m doing boy. Stand back and let me save your mother.”

It was indeed the Lady of Autumn lying on the bed, pale and unconscious. Eris’s mind supplied that the babe stuck was the second youngest son, Leon. His twin had been born without issue but he was not head down. She had also started bleeding profusely. One of the other healers handed Eris his wailing brother.

“Why were you there?” Rhysand asked.

“They called for my father but he couldn’t be bothered.” Eris replied. “Keep watching.”

While Eris held his brother, Edith shook the lady awake. She forced her to down two potions. One was for pain, the other for blood loss. The other healer ripped open part of her gown, baring her rounded stomach. Rhys held his breath while he watched them cut her open carefully and extract the baby. More wails filled the room and Eris had put his other brother in a cradle to be handed the second bloody babe. Rhys nearly fell to his knees. They worked quickly, patching up the wound and pouring a tonic on her stomach to seal it. The lady was awake but showed no signs of pain.

She looked at Eris. “Let me see my babies.”

Rhys pulled out of his mind, nearly stumbling. Eris only watched him, waiting.

“You’ll swear them to secrecy.” He felt like his breath was getting away from him, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “We will make another bargain. Nesta will help you kill your father under the guise of accepting your proposal. In return, your healers will look after Feyre.”

“I know my father and he will push for a real marriage. I will delay it as much as possible but if I cannot, I will annul it but only at her request.”

“You will annul it,” Rhys growled out. “Whether she requests it or not.”

“You never know,” a ghost of a smile graced his lips. “She may like being married to me. Better than that oaf of a general.”

Night started to pour from Rhys again. “Stop testing my patience.”

“Fine,” Eris held out his hand. “We have another agreement.”

Rhys gripped his hand tight and magic washed over them both. He felt the tattoo from the previous bargain change.

Eris pulled his hand back first. “I want her to be brought here tomorrow. I will come and retrieve her.”

“I’ll bring her to the palace. Now get out of my sight.” Rhys said, throwing out his hand in dismissal.

The moment he felt Eris leave, Rhys sat at his desk and wept. Part of him felt it was too good to be true if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes. He could finally save his mate and his baby. He just had to break the news to his brother what it cost him.

—

Nesta didn’t know what to expect when she was summoned to one of the study’s in the house of wind. When she went to leave the library, Clotho had a message for her to meet Rhys in the far end study. She steeled herself before entering, not bothering to knock.

The room was small, just a bookshelf to the right and a few plush red chairs near a window. The only tables were small side tables. A rust oval rug laid on the floor. She stood in the middle of it.

Rhysand was sitting in the left chair and did not look at her when she entered. He had his leg crossed over his knee and a stack of papers in his lap. She almost cleared her throat to get his attention but he finally spoke, still not looking up.

“Nesta.”

“Rhys. You summoned me?” She crossed her arms across her chest.

“I did.” Rhysand did not look her in the eye. He sat his papers on the side table and moved his leg. He put his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. “I’ll get to the point. I need you to accept Eris’s proposal.”

“Excuse me?”

When Nesta danced with Eris in Hewn City, she knew of his proposal. She even debated accepting it on her own. But to be told she didn’t have a choice?

“You will marry Eris.” He acted as if she had not protested. “You will help him obtain the throne with your powers.”

A flash of anger rolled through Nesta. “You cannot ask that of me.”

“I can and I will.” He said coldly. He still did not look her in the eyes. “There is no debate this time.”

“What about Cassian?” She narrowed her gaze at him. Cassian was his brother. He cared about him more than her.

“Cassian will get over it.” Nesta felt like she had been struck. Rhysand finally looked up at her, tears in his hardened eyes. “It’s to save Feyre, Nesta. Eris has promised me healers in exchange for your hand and aid. Healers who have dealt with difficult births before.”

“How do you know he isn’t lying?” Her breath quickened and the feeling of betrayal washed over her. Her arms fell to her side.

“I’ve seen it. With my own eyes. They extracted a babe from a female and they both lived. Feyre and the baby will live, Nesta. All you have to do is be selfless for once in your life.”

“After the baby is born? Can I come home?” Rhysand did not answer her. “What are you going to tell Cassian?”

“I’ve already told him.”

Nesta shook her head. “He would never allow this.”

“Go ask him yourself.” Rhysand’s stare turned colder. “He agreed to save Feyre. You’ll be sent to Autumn tomorrow. I suggest you pack your things.”

“I will not go.”

“You will,” night flared around him, his violet eyes flashing. Then he reigned it in and leaned back in his chair. “You’re dismissed, Nesta.”

“I want to speak to my sister.” A last ditch effort on her end. “Feyre won’t allow this.”

“You will not say a word of this arrangement to Feyre,” Rhysand’s voice was laced with a command that washed over her. “You will not give her added stress.”

Angry tears welled in her eyes but she held her chin up. Fine, she thought. She would find Cassian. He would make Rhys see reason. Chin still high, she turned and left the study. She went to the kitchen and found Cassian sitting at the table, head in his hand. When she entered, Cassian glanced over at her before looking down at the ground.

“He told you?”

“Cassian, you can’t allow this!” He refused to look at her. “Cassian!”

“It’s to save Feyre and the baby, Nes,” his voice soft, almost a whisper. He still wouldn’t look at her.

“There are other ways,” tears filled her eyes again.

He shook his head. “The agreement has been made. Rhys gave an order.”

“Then fight it.” Fight for me, she wanted to add. He remained silent. “You’ll allow him to marry me to a monster because of an order?”

“I trust Rhys,” Cassian finally looked her in the eyes, his gaze hardened. “It’s to save your sister, the baby, and Rhys.”

“What about me?” She yelled, pointing her own finger at her chest.

“Not everything is about you, Nesta. This is life or death. Do you not care if Feyre dies?”

Something snapped inside her. It was possible the disbelief that he thought this plan would work. It was partly because after everything- after she opened herself up to him, he so easily tossed her aside for Rhys. Tossed her to the wolves because his High Lord said so. If he would harden his heart like this, then so would she. She steeled her features and stiffened her back, holding her head up high.

“You’re right. I’ll go pack my things.”

Each step as she turned and walked out of the room, she chanted in her mind for him to chase her. To change his mind. To prove her wrong. To choose her. She reached her room and when he did not follow, she shut the door and locked it. She willed the house to not allow him in, not that he would try. She barely made it to the bed before collapsing in a sob.

Next Chapter

#the price you pay for power #Neris #nesta archeron #eris vanserra #eris acotar #acosf rewrite #nesta acotar #Chapter 1 #I told y’all you wouldn’t like what i had to do to get her out #I hope y’all like it y’all really hyped this up

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moononastring · 1 year

Text

Spirit Meets the Bones XXI

Find it all here.

Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama Please note: There will be heavy subjects discussed that may be triggering. Author's Note: I know this has taken a little long so I hope you enjoy this long one! I sincerely appreciate every single one of you ♥️ Feedback is always welcome and very encouraging :)

Something was wrong.

Iris had started to sense it not too long after Eris had left, a sense of unease worked its way through her chest and twisted in her gut. She tried to brush off the worry — today had been a whirlwind and Finn showing up suddenly was probably adding to the stress she was already feeling. Eris would be fine. He should be fine. Even if he was taking longer than she expected.

She let herself focus on other things while she waited, mindlessly tidying the room, washing up for bed, and lastly, actually choosing something she deemed indecent to wear to bed.

It was a beautiful olive-green gown, the material satin with lace trimmings that seemed to have been made for her, hugging her body in a way she knew would send her husband into a nice little spiral. Or, at least she hoped it would. It was also much shorter than she’d ever worn around Eris, barely reaching her midthigh and that — well, that made her a little more nervous than she’d like to be.

It was just skin after all. She’d gradually been showing him a little skin with each new set but never…never this much. Iris flushed deeply and then frowned at her reflection.

“Get over yourself.” she mumbled. “It’s not like you don’t want him to touch you.”

Because she did. If his kisses were any indication, Eris would likely be the death of her, and that had her feeling very nervous. But she had a nice long robe that would make her feel more secure. At least until they talked and she got answers to her questions.

Today had been challenging in its own way but this moment, choosing to be just a little more intimate with him…this was for her. For the way he had been making her feel the past few weeks. For the way his eyes always watched her with just a little hunger and a whole lot of amusement.

But mostly…for the way his voice had dropped when he had made his request earlier. He had asked so politely. It would be bad manners to refuse.

If he’d just hurry up and come back already.

Iris had been standing in front of the vanity, fidgeting slightly with the thin strap of her nightgown when a sharp tug to her ribcage had her freezing. A gasp left her lips as she steadied herself and the dread she had been trying to keep at bay came back in full force. She felt panicked. She felt — she felt pain.

Something was wrong and she didn’t understand what that was. That — that tug.

With shaking hands, she quickly slipped the robe over her gown and tied it firmly, rushing to her door and yanking it open.

She staggered to a halt in the doorway when one of Eris’s commanders turned to face her and she blinked in surprise.

“Oren?” she asked and straightened. “What’s going on? Why are you here?”

The general took a moment to scan the hall, empty aside the two of them then took a small step towards her and gave her a tight smile. “His Royal Highness, Prince Eris wished for you to have some additional protection at this time.” Oren said calmly but Iris’s heart stuttered in her chest. She didn’t miss the usage of the formal title, especially when Oren and Eris were friends and that never happened between them.

“Where is he?” she demanded. “He was supposed to be meeting with Finn earlier. Has something happened?”

The tight smile remained on Oren’s face. “The High Lord requested him earlier. He sent me here before he went.”

Iris inhaled sharply, her grip tightening on the doorframe as another sense of unease washed over her. “I knew something was wrong.” she said quietly and Oren narrowed his eyes at her.

“What do you mean?”

“Something is wrong. I can feel it.” Iris said and rubbed a hand to her forehead. “I’m going to change then go find —”

“I can’t let you leave.” Oren stated and Iris froze.

“Excuse me?”

Oren winced and Iris cocked a brow as he took a breath. “I am under orders to watch over you.” he said more gently. “Until he returns from his meeting with the High Lord.”

“He’s never had someone stand guard when he meets with the High Lord.” she said quietly and again, she felt that flutter of panic, and Oren’s lip thinned.

“It seems, the High Lord is angrier than usual.”

Iris bit her lip and then let out a breath. He was angry with Eris and Iris knew without a doubt, it had to be because of her. Because of her horrible father. “Fuck.” she mumbled and Oren gestured gently to the room behind her.

“I suggest you wait inside.”

“How am I supposed to wait when I know that —” she began then cut herself off in frustration, knowing she couldn’t say anything about the High Lord that wouldn’t get back to him. “How can I just wait when I’m telling you I can sense something is wrong!”

Oren gave her a look she didn’t quite understand then again, gently said, “I know it might be hard to wait but it’s better for you and him to stay here. He’ll worry about you less.”

Worry about her. As if she cared about herself at this moment. Knowing what she knew about Beron, she wouldn’t be surprised if he was tearing into Eris for not beating Iris alongside her father. She ran a hand through her hair and bit her lip, holding back a string of curses.

The High Lord needed Eris. Surely, he wouldn’t do anything — but Iris immediately shook her head. The High Lord would do whatever he wanted to his son.

And she could do nothing to protect him.

Shame and anger coiled in her stomach and Iris wished there was more she could do — anything she could do other than sit here and wait.

She glanced at the commander once more who only gave her a nod. She sighed.

“You don’t have to wait outside. I’ll be fine.” she said quietly. “No one can come in here without my permission.”

Oren gave her a small smile. “I know. But I am loyal to one male and one male only,” he said. “And I will do as he requested of me.”

Iris watched Oren carefully. So he knew all about Eris and the way things were with the High Lord. He’d also been a friend and commander of his for so long…but she had to ask, “Why?”

The corner of the commander’s mouth shifted up. “Because I see what he’s been trying to do. And I believe in him,” he said then gestured with his chin behind her again. “I’ll be here if you need anything until he returns.”

Knowing she’d been dismissed, Iris turned to go back into her rooms. Oren had distracted her briefly but as she slowly shut the door, her hands started to shake again. She couldn’t help the guilt threatening to consume her, couldn't help the twist in her gut. How long would Beron keep his son? What would he do to him?

Her eyes flickered to the grandfather clock sitting in the corner of their living space and she frowned. It was already so late in the evening. How much longer would this meeting take?

But an hour went by. Then several more.

And Iris spent the time pacing around their room, fighting back her anxiety and holding herself back from running past Oren and finding her husband herself.

She had been seated, curled up on their bed trying and failing to distract herself when she heard the familiar thud of their door closing and leaped to her feet.

“You took so long! I started to think —” Iris started but the rest of the words died in her throat at the sight of Eris in front of her.

Heat filled the room almost immediately as Iris halted a few feet away from him.

Her husband stood before her and Iris wasn’t sure where to look. At the now tattered jacket somehow still on his body. Or at the blood dripping from him. Or his hair that now barely reached the nape of his neck. She couldn’t stop staring, her heart rate increasing at the cold detachment on his face and the dead look in his eyes that set her on edge.

Iris tried to swallow, to hold back the horror and panic going through her body, to calm her shaking hands.

“What — what happened?” she asked carefully, taking a step closer to him. Eris’s gaze dropped to her feet and the step she took closer to him then back up to her face.

A beat of silence passed. Then another. Eris watched her, barely blinking and Iris didn’t dare move or say anything more as her fingers curled into the fabric of her robe.

Slowly and without saying a word, Eris gestured to his body, to the state he was in, and Iris tried to keep her expression from falling, tried to curb the slight panic clogging in her throat. Once again, Eris only glanced down then back up at her but this time, she saw wildfire in his eyes. The room’s temperature spiked and Iris felt her chest tighten as anger surged around them.

Eris wasn’t angry, no. He was seething. Fuming.

He took a step towards her and her heart started to beat frantically at the flame that had started to lick at his heels.

“Eris,” she started gently. “Tell me what happened.”

The Prince of Autumn cocked his head as his wild eyes watched her and Iris knew whatever had happened, whatever the High Lord had done to him, it was bad enough that Eris had gone someplace far, far away. And her Eris was not back yet.

His eyes narrowed on her and Iris couldn’t find it in her to say anything more, her body tensing instead. She wanted him to say something, anything to fill the silence, where the only sound she could hear was the frantic beating of her heart. Her husband had not returned as he had left and she wasn’t sure if he fully would. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself that would help him, that would ease whatever was going through his mind right now.

It was as she opened her mouth once more that Eris moved, taking one step towards her and Iris paused. She willed herself not to flinch as his hands lowered from behind his back and knew Eris had clocked the movement. His hands wouldn’t hurt her but it still didn’t stop her from watching them carefully.

They watched each other silently.

And Eris wanted to reply to her question, to speak, but he was having a hard time trying not to vomit. He was having a hard time trying to remember how to breathe properly. He had lost consciousness at some point enduring his father’s wrath and had woken up to find himself laying in his own blood. He didn’t remember being untied, and he didn’t know how much time had passed, but he knew he needed to check on his mother. He needed to get back to his wife.

So Eris had forced himself to stand on trembling legs, his wits barely about him. He forced himself to leave the throne room and muster what will he had left to winnow in front of his parent’s chambers. And Eris had waited, barely able to stand as his blood dripped from him to hear something, anything to indicate that his mother was alright. But Eris had heard nothing and he didn’t know if the deafening silence was worse than the cries of pain he had expected. Only when black dots began to line his vision had he finally forced himself to winnow once more to his own door.

He had waved off an alarmed Oren and allowed himself a moment to compose himself before walking in and standing as he stood now.

And he really, really wanted to hurl his guts because Iris was looking at him in a way he wasn’t used to in a moment like this. No one usually saw him like this. He mostly let himself go numb during his father’s unleashing and then, only when he was alone, did Eris let his anger consume him. But he had already been teetering on the edge today and he was no longer alone.

Iris said nothing as he stood there, only watching him with a level of concern that made his chest feel tight. She cared. She cared about what happened to him. She was not his father and she was not looking at him with anything but genuine concern and everything in him recoiled at the fact that she had to see him this way at all. That his father had put him in this position, to look weak and it made him so angry that Eris went momentarily blind with rage.

He forced himself to swallow and then do it again before he could unlock his jaw enough to speak.

“My father,” he began in a voice that wasn’t quite his and the flames licking his heels spiked up. “Wanted to give me a new look.” He held up a bloodied fist. “He suggested I choke you with what was left of this.”

Iris dropped her gaze to his hand holding — clutching strands of hair that was — she looked up at his face again then back down to his hand.

“Oh gods.” she mumbled and her heart sank to the pits of her stomach. What had the High Lord done to him? Or rather, what hadn’t the High Lord done to him? Iris took another hesitant step toward him and started to say, “Let me —”

But immediately, Eris held his other hand, stopping her in place and Iris fell silent. His eyes didn’t leave the hand holding the strands of his hair.

He finally glanced up at her, that wildfire in his eyes. “I told him to fuck off, of course.” he continued. “He didn’t take that well.” His gaze dropped again and Iris’s eyes followed to where a few drops of blood had dripped by his feet. She couldn’t even tell where it was coming from. “He didn’t take many things well during our conversation.”

“Conversation.” she repeated faintly and her face fell at the way his own hands had started to shake. “The state that you’re in is the result of a conversation.”

Eris fell silent again, blinking down at his trembling hands. A part of him wished he’d evaporate, simply melt into the floor and cease to exist. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel this way. Maybe then he wouldn’t have to think about how much this family had been through and how much more they’d have to suffer until his fucken father died. Maybe then he wouldn't have to worry about his wife being another body for his father to beat down.

Maybe then —

“Eris?”

He looked up at her gentle calling, so unlike the voice of his father who had spent the past few hours breaking him. The way she looked at him made him want to collapse.

He was bleeding and broken and there was no logical reason for it other than his father was a monster.

“How — how did you even walk the halls like this?” she finally asked and couldn’t help how choked her voice sounded, couldn’t help that she had to keep breaking his silence. Her own hands were shaking as she moved closer to him. “Let me help you — let me see wherever you’re bleeding from.”

Eris shook his head and tried to breathe. She cared and it was too much for him. He couldn’t do this now — he needed more time.

But even if he wanted to, that thread at his ribcage forced him to stay where he was. How could it not when he looked at her and it steadied him? That thread that had dragged him back here, to this room. That thread was the reason he hadn’t let his fire consume him.

It took him another moment to speak, his eyes unblinking as he watched her. “I shouldn’t be able to winnow directly in the House but stubborn as I am,” he said with a hoarse laugh and swayed slightly. “I can bend the magic to my will.” He pointed a bloody finger at her. “I think it has to do with you.”

This rooted Iris to where she stood. “With me?” she repeated in a whisper.

“With you.” he confirmed and lowered a trembling hand to his side, his eyes unfocused. “I had to come back to you. You were waiting for me.”

Iris’s mouth trembled and she tried to swallow back the cascade of emotions surging through her body at his words. “What can I do?” she pleaded. “What do you need right now to make this moment easier?”

“What do I need.” he repeated and his eyes fell back to his hands. Iris watched his grip tighten until a flame burst in his fist and what was left of his hair was no more. Eris shook his head again, his chest rising and falling as he tried to breathe. Her face fell as he backed a step from her, both fists aflame now. “You shouldn’t be near me right now.” he said and his gaze flickered up, his wild eyes watching her. “I — I am not — I don’t —”

What was left of her battered heart broke further. He was physically standing before her but Iris could see the struggle in his eyes to connect to their reality. She wanted to reach him. She needed to reach him and remind him, that he was hers and she would take care of him the way he took care of her.

“It’s okay.” she said as gently as possible and slowly reached out a hand. “Let me help you.”

“Don’t.” Eris snarled so viciously that Iris couldn’t stop the flinch this time, yanking her hand back immediately.

A thick silence filled the room once more and Iris watched her husband’s chest rise and fall, his breathing starting to turn shallow, those wild eyes watching her in an almost pained resolve at her reaction.

“You flinched from me.” he said, the words barely distinguishable.

Iris swallowed and she hid her trembling hands in the folds of her robe. “It’s alright.” she said softly and saw the way he shuddered at the two words. “You — you surprised me. That’s all.”

He took a step towards her and Iris froze, waiting as he breathed more deeply, the flame licking his body seeming to flare and then shrink with each breath. “I’m — I’m sorry.” he said, his voice guttural. “I need — I — I need —”

“You need a moment.” she said as his body shook and she fought every instinct to reach out again. She — she wanted to hold him, needed to. But he wasn’t there yet. He was still finding his way back to himself. So she tried to reassure him from their six feet of distance. “That’s alright. Why don’t you go change?”

He nodded and blinked at her, his gaze still unfocused. “Shower.”

“Okay.” she said and nodded carefully. “I’ll — I’ll ask for some tea.”

But her husband just stared at her. “Don’t go anywhere.”

“I won’t.”

“Stay.” he said then repeated, “Don't go anywhere.”

Iris gave him a tentative smile, trying and failing to hide how deep her worry ran. She tightened her grip on her robe so she wouldn’t reach out to him again. “I’m not going anywhere, Eris. I’ll be right here when you’re done.”

She watched him as he watched her and again felt that tug in her ribcage that she didn’t understand as Eris swallowed hard then slowly, as if he was forcing himself to, he walked away from her and into their bathroom.

The door shut behind him and Iris’s face fell. How badly had that…conversation gone? She had no doubt her own father had played a part in it after the way Eris had humiliated him but to what extent? How many more gifts had Beron given Eris? Letting out a shaky breath, her eyes fell to the drops of blood that had left a trail behind him.

An icy rage blinded her momentarily and Iris wanted nothing more than to find the High Lord and stab him violently until he choked on his own blood. Until he had enough wounds to make up for the ones he put on his son even if it would never be enough. The world would be a better place when the time came and he was gone.

The sound of the water running had her blinking back to reality and Iris forced herself to snap into action and move.

It didn’t slip her mind that earlier in the day, their situations had been the opposite and Iris wanted nothing more than to erase the anger and the shame that tied both of them to shitty fathers.

She knew Eris was…not himself yet. She knew he needed a way back and Iris needed to believe that there was a way out of this — this darkness they were surrounded in. There had to be.

No one deserved to live like this and as she wiped away any signs of his bleeding heart, Iris knew she would give him whatever he needed. Anything that would be a bright light for him on an otherwise dark night. So she had the tea tray ready with a bottle of hard liquor seated right next to it. Most importantly, she had tried to discreetly have her healing salves ready in the event he felt comfortable enough for her to touch him.

She waited, too restless to sit, and paced between the sitting table and hovering by the door of the bathroom, listening in case — Iris wasn’t sure in case of what but was sure she wanted to be close by.

Iris had just moved away from the door again when it finally opened and she immediately turned to find Eris standing in his sleeping attire. She tried not to frown at the way his body was still tense and her eyes roamed his face.

“I have the tea.” she said quietly. “And um, alcohol.”

The corner of his mouth ticked up a millimeter before his expression shifted to the blank one she hated and he walked over to her, stopping a few feet away.

She waited, letting him take his time as he glanced down at his feet and then back up at her, his anger still lingering around him.

He watched her, his hands at his sides. “I made you flinch away from me.”

“You were angry.” she said simply.

“I would never harm you, Iris.”

His tone offered no argument and the corner of her own mouth curled up. Anger towards her had typically only meant one thing but she knew, deep in her weary bones, that Eris would never hurt her.

So Iris took a step closer to him and made sure she met his gaze as she replied in a tone that also offered no argument, “I know.” she said. “Your anger wasn’t towards me.”

His nostrils flared at the reminder and Iris almost regretted saying anything but then he took another step closer to her. “No. It wasn’t,” he said and Iris let her gaze drop to his hands that were clenching and unclenching at his sides. “After…events like this, I usually…am alone. To process.”

The words, the resignation in them, made her ache. Iris wondered how many times he’d had to process alone, with no one to share this burden with.

She looked up again and took one more step toward him as she slowly held out her hands. “Well, you’re not alone anymore,” she said quietly and watch as his gaze dropped to her open hands. “I’m here.”

“Yes, you are.” he said so softly and Iris felt her heart twist. It took him a moment and she felt his hesitation, as if afraid to touch her but she waited. She waited as he clenched and then unclenched his hands once more before he slid his hands into hers.

“I’m here to listen if you want to talk about it,” she said as softly as he had spoken. “If not, I’m still here.”

His grip on her hands had tightened and she watched as his breath quickened for a moment, working his jaw. “I will. I have to,” he said hoarsely. “Or I will lose my mind.”

“Okay.” she simply said even as her chest tightened at the slight tremble in his hands. “I can’t have you losing your mind over anything except me, can I now?”

Eris tried to give her a smile but it turned more into a grimace and Iris gave him a small smile of her own, wanting to bring him some sense of ease. She glanced down at their intertwined hands and let her thumb caress the back of his hand gently. “I don’t think I ever actually told you but…” she met his gaze. “I like how your hands feel holding mine. I have since that day I met the puppies for the first time and you told me I have lovely hands.”

She watched the Prince of Autumn shudder at the words and it took him another moment before he could answer her. “Not puppies,” he said and Iris couldn’t help her small smile, especially as he continued in words so quiet, she almost missed them. “I like how your hands feel in mine too.”

“Smart male.” she said and again, the corner of his mouth lifted but this time, it remained curled up, and again, Iris couldn't stop staring at him. He may look a little different with the sloppy cut he had been given but it didn’t change the feeling that was spreading in her chest. She loved it when he smiled, especially if she was the reason. She liked his wicked mouth too much.

Iris made to move towards the table but Eris’s grip tightened on her and she turned to find his expression tense, his body rigid.

“Don’t go.”

“I’m only getting you a drink.” she said gently and Eris swallowed then gave a small nod and squeezed her hands once more before reluctantly letting go. Iris couldn't help the way she softened at the way he watched her, as though she was his tether to his way home.

How many times had he needed someone but had suffered alone? How many times had she been in the same scenario? It made her wonder how often had they shared a moment like this in their separate lives…two sides of the same miserable fucken coin indeed.

The thought exhausted her and with a swallow, Iris pulled away to turn to the table, feeling his eyes on her. As if she’d disappear if he blinked. She opted for the alcohol and filled both teacups to the brim. She may have the power to heal but with wounds that ran as deep as her husband’s…she wasn’t sure if she would be enough.

She carefully handed him his teacup and stood opposite him as they glanced at one another.

They did so much watching one another. So much observing. They exchanged so much without saying a word and Iris wondered if he could hear the way her blood was pumping so loudly in her ears. If he knew she could hear the rapid beating of his heart.

She gestured with her chin. “Drink.”

He glanced down at the cup in his hand and then looked up with a quirked brow. “This isn’t tea.”

“I think we need something a little stronger tonight.” she said gently and Eris gave her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes before lifting the cup in a mock salute and knocking it back.

Iris switched their cups and handed him hers with a small smile at the dry chuckle that escaped him before he drank it as well. But her expression immediately fell as his body gave a shudder followed by a small grunt of pain and Iris’s grip tightened on her cup.

“I’m sorry.” she whispered and the apology seemed to dim any momentary lightness Eris had experienced.

“For what.” he said dryly.

“For whatever happened. For all of it.” she continued and Iris tried not to fidget beneath his gaze. “For anything that I might’ve had to do with it.”

Eris stared at her in silence, his expression tight, and the only sound in the room was the tapping of his fingers against his cup. What seemed like a lifetime later, he reached out to take the empty teacup from her hands and turned from her to place them back on the table.

He stood like this for several quiet moments and it made Iris tense again, wondering if he needed more time. If she should’ve backed off and let him be alone. Even if that was the last thing she wanted to do. She wanted —

“You know, my father wanted you with me for this little meeting.” Eris finally said and Iris blinked.

“Why?”

Eris turned to face her again and leaned against the table. She didn’t miss the way, a second later, he moved a slight inch to avoid his back making contact.

“You see,” he began and glanced down at his hands. “He found out about my little encounter with your father and didn’t quite like that.” His hands slowly clenched into fists as he spoke. “The High Lord wanted you on your knees apologizing to your father. At your father’s request, of course.”

“What?” she croaked.

“But my father also wanted me to apologize to your father for beating him. Because I did it for you,” he said and then gave her a dry smile. “And well, the High Lord can’t have his son beating people for his wife now, can he? The only person the High Lord’s son should be beating is his own wife.”

Iris’s fingers dug into the folds of her robe as anger and shame washed over her once more. For the audacity of her father and the cruelty of his.

“He doesn’t deserve an apology,” she said through clenched teeth. “He deserves death.”

“I agree.” Eris said and he slowly made his way over to her, the room heating again with each step. “Which is why my father tied me to a flogging pole and whipped me within an inch of my life. Because I told him that my wife apologizes to no one and I certainly do not apologize to anyone either, especially filth.” he snarled softly and straightened with an angry wince. “So do me a favor? Do not apologize for their choices ever again. My wife doesn’t apologize for things she had no hand in.”

Horror slammed into her as she stared at Eris, fully engulfed in his own flame. At the way he had so casually admitted what his father had done.

“He — he whipped you?” she whispered and watched his body tense again, the temperature in the room spiking once more.

“Yes. But before that, I broke both of your father’s legs and his face again.” he said and Iris saw his fists clench again. “So that makes us somewhat even.”

“Eris…” She couldn’t think of anything else to say. How can he ask her not to apologize when she was the reason he was hurt? When it was because of her father that he had been pulled so far away from himself.

And she hated how it fell silent between them again. She hated that he felt this way. That he was made to be feeling this level of anger and despair. As if every word that fell from his mouth took too much effort, too much work.

Iris hadn’t realized how desperately she wanted to make him feel better. To bring back that stupid smirk she pretended to hate so much. She wanted to —

“Don’t look at me like that.” he said so tiredly and it made her ache. With a shake of his head and a deep breath, his flame went out, and he turned away from her, moving towards their bed.

But Iris froze and every single thought emptied from her head.

With his back to her, Eris’s shirt had clung to his skin and tiny beads of blood peppered the white shirt.

He looked over his shoulder, meeting her horrified gaze, and immediately looked away from her, his shoulders tensing as he lowered himself to sit at the edge of the bed.

“Don’t.”

“Eris, you’re bleeding again.”

“I know.” he managed then rubbed a hand down his face. “Just please stop looking at me like that.”

Iris bit the inside of her mouth, outraged on his behalf and hating that he felt embarrassed by any of it. She willed herself to breathe. One breath in, one breath out. They couldn’t catch a break. A small dosage of time where they could just be. Where everything between them didn’t have to get so fucken hard the moment they found a little ease.

“Look at you like what?” she finally said and made her way over to him. She sank down next to him and knew her expression gave away the panic she was trying to control. “Like I’m disgusted with what happened to you? Like I’m horrified that your father hurt you because of me and my piece of shit father?”

She stared at him then waved a hand helplessly. “How else am I supposed to look at my husband who left me in one way then came back another?” she added softly. “How else am I supposed to look when I want to help you so badly but I’m unsure how?”

Iris watched his throat bob as he swallowed. “Careful, wife. You sound like you care about me.” he said and Iris let out a huff of frustration then glared at him.

“I do care, you stupid bastard.” she muttered, flushing deeply and the dead look in his eyes was given a short reprieve when he gave her a small smile.

“That’s good to know.” he said and then fell silent, the weight of this whole day and what was left unsaid suffocating.

And as Iris watched him, she was hit by the need to kiss him. The need to run her hands down his arms and chest and scarred back that she wanted to help him heal and then kiss better. She wanted anything but whatever this heaviness was, anything but that awful expression on his face. Her eyes scanned his slightly ruffled hair and how tired his eyes were and her frown deepened.

Slowly, she reached out a hand to gently touch his face, giving him all the time in the world to push her hand away if he desired. But he didn’t and Iris turned his head so he’d face her and his exhaustion slammed into her.

“What happened was not acceptable.” she whispered. “And for that, I am sorry that it happened to you. Because you don’t deserve it. You didn’t do anything wrong and he had no right to treat you that way.”

Eris scoffed faintly but swallowed before closing his eyes and hesitated for a heartbeat then nuzzled gently into her hand. He hated how desperately he needed the softness of her touch. How badly he wanted to be soothed. She was here and even if he felt like death itself, she was here. “No one deserves what he delivers.” he finally said quietly. “But we still take it.”

“You should not have to.”

“No.” he said and straightened with a grimace, taking her hand in his hand. He let his thumb caress her palm as he added, “None of us should have to.”

“Please let me look at your back,” she whispered but he shook his head, his thumb still rubbing her hand gently. Whether it was to soothe him or to soothe her, she wasn’t sure. "Please. Let me heal it."

A muscle in his jaw flexed and Iris had to remind herself that his anger wasn't at her.

“I can heal it myself,” he replied but not unkindly. “I’m choosing not to at the moment.”

"Why?”

“Pain is good. It keeps the memory fresh.”

Once again, the room heated at the words and Iris’s body went rigid. He was so angry and gods, she knew that anger. She had tasted the humiliation he felt. And she knew without question that beneath that anger was so much sadness. So much exhaustion. So much…yearning. For more. For different.

For love. For some sense of normalcy in a fucked up home that showed them no mercy.

Iris could practically hear his mind whirling and it pulled at her heart because she had started to understand him in a way very few people did. Slowly, she reached out once more and gently forced him to meet her gaze.

“There is no part of you that deserves pain like this, Eris.” she said firmly and hated the way she could see his disbelief, as though it wasn’t true.

Eris’s eyes fluttered closed at the words, a muscle flexing in his jaw. “How do you know that? That I don’t deserve pain? I’ve made bad choices. I’ve had to do bad things.”

She shook her head. “Making bad decisions and being forced to do bad things doesn’t make you a bad person. You’ve had to carry so much…give yourself some room.” she said and then added quietly, “Unburden yourself with me. Let me help you.”

Eris met her gaze and she watched the internal struggle in his eyes as he worked his jaw. Finally, he said, “There’s too much. It’s a lot.”

“I know. You were ready to tell me earlier. So tell me now.” she encouraged calmly. “You told me you wanted to know the side of me I didn’t like anyone seeing. That you wanted to see.” She squeezed his hand. “Well, I want to know too. I want to see.”

Eris seemed to pause and then his gaze hardened as he straightened. “Iris,” he began and her brows furrowed at the urgency in his tone. “You have to understand whatever I tell you, it has been kept a secret in order for us to survive. I do not trust anyone as much as I’m allowing myself to trust you. Don’t — don’t make me regret it.”

She tilted her head and watched him for a quiet minute. “Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?”

“No.” he said and swallowed. “But when you’ve been living in a pit of snakes for so long, you’re never sure which one will bite. Things have changed between us but…I have this doubt in the back of my mind that you’ll take anything I say and give it to the highest bidder to get out of this marriage and run.” He paused for a moment and licked his lips. “I wouldn’t blame you.”

She watched him quietly again and it made her chest tighten that even after things had shifted between them, this still worried him. So Iris swallowed and decided to be honest as well.

“And despite the changes between us…I still fear that someday you’ll realize you could beat the living shit out of me every single day and no matter how much I can defend myself, you’ll still overpower me.” she replied. “But I have not seen anything from you that would truly have me succumb to that doubt. Have you seen anything from me to feed into those doubts?”

He paused but Iris didn’t fail to notice how his thumb was back to caressing her hand softly, almost as a way to calm himself down.

“No.” he said after a moment. “You’re my wife and my friend and my — you’re many things. I — I trust you.”

“Good. Because I trust you too.” she whispered. “I’ve trusted you not to hurt me and you haven’t.”

He shook his head and held up her hand in his. “It is my job to protect you. These fists will fight for you.”

Iris couldn’t help the small smile that bloomed on her face or the way her heart swelled at the words. “And I am grateful for that.” she said. “But then who protects you?”

His mouth curled into a tired smile and he sighed. “Apparently, it’s my wife with her healer's hands.”

Iris gave him a pointed look then gestured to his shirt with her chin. “Then let these hands help you.”

Eris tensed and his grip tightened on his wife’s hands. He wasn’t used to anyone being near him whenever this happened. Wasn’t used to anyone seeing any of his scars, much less fresh ones.

But this was Iris. His wife. His mate. And he wanted her hands to touch him. To fit all of his pain in the palm of her lovely hands and wipe it away.

Eris didn’t let himself overthink it as he finally released her hand from his and only hesitated for a moment before he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the ground. He knew Iris hadn’t meant to make a noise but the sharp intake of breath that slipped from her mouth had him digging his hands into his thighs, tensing even further. He would not overthink it. His shirt was already off and she’d seen his scars before…even if his back had never looked this bad.

“Quite a masterpiece my father made, didn't he?” he mused quietly then dared to glance over his shoulder to find Iris’s face flushed in anger, her eyes locked on his back.

The High Lord had avoided his face, of course. He only left bruises where others couldn’t see and had certainly not held back. He knew the scars would line his back, the back of his upper arms, and his neck. He didn’t want to think about his hair and how his father had deliberately kept it down so it would stick in his wounds and make the sting worse.

“Do you think, if I didn’t want your wife here, she wouldn’t be?” his father had whispered to him after the first crack of the whip. “Do you think I couldn’t have her in your position right now if I didn’t want to?”

Eris’s blood had boiled at the mere thought of Iris being subjected to any of this but he kept his mouth shut. He had endured.

“You’ve gotten too bold, son. You’ve forgotten yourself.”

He had indeed. Eris had forgotten how his father liked to play. But Beron had reminded him over and over again exactly what happens to those who cross the High Lord. Eris had forced his body to shut down and closed off his mind until his father was finished. The only thoughts he allowed himself were of Iris waiting for him.

“I look forward to the day his blood fills these halls.” she muttered. “He deserves nothing but a brutal and painful death.”

The corner of Eris’s mouth curled up. “Bloodthirsty, are you?”

“I am your wife.” she said with a pointed look and a small chuckle escaped him despite how wretched he felt.

Yes, she was. His lovely little wife.

“Tell me, how pretty do you think your lovely little Iris would look bleeding all over the throne room floor?” his father had whispered.

His magic had recoiled violently at his father’s threats. Eris had nearly choked on the taste of ash in his mouth.

“I could make you watch. Or…have you be the one to make her bleed. What do you think, son?”

“Eris?”

He blinked himself back into reality to find his fists had burst into flame again and Iris watched him patiently. Eris hadn’t even seen or heard her bring a small bowl with a towel and salves, resting them on the nightstand beside them. He cleared his throat and flexed his hands to calm down. “Hm?”

“I need to start cleaning the wounds and wanted to make sure it’s still alright for me to touch you.” she asked and Eris felt himself nearly break at the question.

He forced himself to take a steadying breath and hoped she didn’t see the slight tremble in his hands when he rubbed his forehead. “Yes.” he said. “It’s always alright for you to touch me.”

She gently squeezed his arm at the words and he tried to hold back the shudder. He wasn’t used to anyone taking care of him. He could heal himself just fine but his wife wanted to help him. His mate wanting to touch him made a world of a difference and Eris knew the thread that he was holding on to was on its last legs. He had to get everything off his chest, all the burdens he carried.

Iris guided him to sit at the corner of the bed and turn his back to her, working in silence at first and Eris forced himself to relax as she gently dipped his head forward and began cleaning with a soft cloth. This was not his father putting his hands on him, it was his Iris. Her lovely, lovely hands soothed the broken pieces of him. She touched him with featherlike movements and the way his body was reacting to the softness of her hands alarmed him.

This was pathetic. He was pathetic.

“Does this…has this happened often?” Iris asked into the silence of their room. “I know you have older scars.”

The cloth slid against the nape of his neck and Eris breathed in deeply through his nose, digging his fingers into his thighs. He knew without looking at his wife, that Iris had picked up on it and her touch had gotten even gentler. “You remember when I told you earlier about the High Lord and his ways?” He began tightly and Iris hummed in response. “He leads with fear and a very heavy hand. And I use the term leads very loosely.”

Eris forced himself to swallow as Iris began to pat his back dry and continued.

“He changed Under the Mountain. He was always rough around the edges but…that time awakened a side of my father that he has not returned from. We all did what we had to do to survive those fifty years but he…he became more vicious.” he said quietly. “Prior to that, he lashed out a lot and his fists spoke before his mouth ever did but it wasn’t consistent. You weren’t sure what would trigger him. The flogging is saved for special occasions, when we really piss him off.” Eris couldn’t look at her as he added, “The first time he used it was on my mother. He made my brothers and I all watch.”

Iris froze behind him, hand in midair as revulsion coursed through her.

“It was after Lucien was born.” Eris said, his voice carefully void of emotion. “We were all locked in place by his magic and had to watch her bleed. We had to listen to her scream and could do nothing. None of us were really the same after that, especially my mother.”

“Why?” Iris managed to choke out and Eris looked over his shoulder at his wife.

“Monsters don’t need reasons but…” he turned away again and with his voice barely above a whisper said, “My mother had an affair and my father found out. Lucien…is not my father’s son.”

Iris blinked rapidly. “W-what?”

“My mother met a male that she fell in love with before she met my father but her family decided power was more important than their daughter’s happiness and married her off to my father anyway,” he said, his voice dull as he glanced at his wife again before his gaze dropped to his hands. “Their relationship was…a checkbox that was fulfilled. And things were fine. Until they weren’t.”

Iris forced herself to move, to place the cloth down on the nightstand and pick up the salves instead. “What happened?” she asked as she sat behind him once more.

Eris tensed as she began to apply the ointment, forcing himself to breathe through his nose again and calm his thoughts. “The male she loved saved her during the first war and they reconnected.” he continued. “Then the affair began on and off for years. Until my father found out after Lucien was born and nothing about her was the same afterward.”

Iris bit her lip, trying to hold back the nausea she was feeling as tension lined Eris’s back again, his shoulders stiff. “My mother was so full of light and love. A firecracker with magic that almost rivaled my father’s. She was…happy until that day.” Eris said and dread filled Iris’s chest when Eris pulled away to meet her gaze. “After he was done spilling her blood in the throne room that day, he took her away and they were gone for days. We did not know where they went or what he did to her then but when they came back, no fire was left in the Lady of Autumn. Nothing of who my mother had been was left.”

Iris’s heart was nearly beating out of her chest as the room heated once more. She watched Eris’s knuckles turn white from how hard he was clenching them. “Later on, after my mother remembered how to speak and to look at me without flinching,” he growled softly and Iris’s heart shattered further. “She told me everything. About her affair. About what happened. That he had used her fire against her. That he beat her and hurt her, and burned her so badly, he made her fear the fire that made her who she was. She is terrified of it because of how badly he made it hurt.” He let out a breath full of rage. “Since then he has never stopped belittling her and breaking her down. Hasn’t stopped doing everything he can to make her small and weak and prey.”

“And I hate him.” he snarled darkly and Iris felt the bed heat below her as she looked over at Eris, his eyes ablaze. “I hate him with every atom in my body. I loathe him and loathe the life he has forced us to live. I cannot stand the sight of him or the sound of his voice or feeling his eyes on me. I hate that he even breathes the same air as my mother. I hate that he uses my mother against my brothers and me.” Iris watched his shoulders rise and fall as he took shallow breaths. “But most of all, I hate that he’s still alive when his final breathes are a symphony I have been waiting to hear for years.”

Iris blinked and in the next moment, their whole chamber was in flames.

She gasped, her hands dropping to her lap as fire covered every inch of their room. She looked to Eris who had his eyes closed, his head tilted as frustration dripped from every inch of him. Her eyes turned to scan the room, feeling the heat and smelling the smoke. Though none of the flames touched her body, Eris was completely aflame.

“We survived fifty years of darkness beneath that fucken mountain for the nightmare to continue within this forest. He is a plague and the dream of his death is the only thing that keeps me going.”

Silence fell between them as Iris watched his fire burn throughout the room. She wondered what would happen if he did let it melt everything away. What would happen when he eventually unleashed?

“Does he know?” Iris finally asked. “That you have all this inside you?”

“He knows. Everyone knows. I will be the next High Lord.” Eris said quietly. “My power has been brewing for years and everyone can sense it. I have all this rage and all this fire but I’ve had to hold back.” He ran his tongue over his teeth. “His death has always been marked for my mother and until she is ready to get out, we cannot make a move. We endure and play my father’s games…but every now and then, I need to let it out.”

And with those words, the flames flickered out in the room. Iris’s eyes surveyed everything and found...nothing was damaged. Nothing ruined — only a lingering smell of smoke.

Turning back to him, Iris found him staring at her, smoke coming off him in waves at what remained of his rage. He blinked at her, his expression blank as his exhaustion stared back at her.

“Did I frighten you?” he asked quietly as she watched him. “I’ve shown you quite a bit of my dark side lately.”

But Iris was not frightened. Not in the least. She felt — she felt seen.

She shook her head and stood carefully, returning the healing ointments to the small table beside them. How did she explain to him that there was nothing frightening about what he said? That all she felt was understood?

Finding her way back next to him, Iris sat with little space between them and color bloomed on her face when Eris’s eyes dipped to the inch between their bodies. She let her hand slide up and gently, with a tenderness she knew they both needed, let her finger delicately trace his face.

“I’m not afraid,” she said and then let her finger continue to slide up, gently musing the hair she knew he would later mourn. “I am only enraged for you.”

A heartbeat passed then Eris shuddered beneath her touch, a sigh of relief fluttering through the whole room and Iris couldn’t help the urge to lean in and kiss him. She did so tenderly, a caress of a kiss that Eris sighed into.

He couldn’t bring himself to touch her yet, to wrap arms around her when he was still so furious He allowed himself to trace the material of her robe beneath his fingers instead.

“I told you there was so much to tell you.” Eris said quietly and Iris pulled her hand away to rest in his empty one, the corner of her mouth curling up.

“And I told you I want to know.” she replied. “So tell me.”

Though exhaustion had melted his bones, Eris knew he needed to keep talking. He needed to get this all off his chest. And then he hoped he’d get to spend the rest of the night kissing her.

Eris forced himself to breathe deeply and slowly rolled his shoulders back, the tightness of his skin as it healed fueling his anger. “My brothers and I excel in pretending to hate each other and pretending we want to kill each other.” Eris glanced at Iris. “We each control a territory and let my father believe what he sees about where our loyalty lies but do what we can to keep our lives moving. The two brothers who tried to kill Lucien after Jesminda were the two that were most like my father. The rest of us were not sorry to see them go.”

Iris watched him curiously. “Your brothers…they are not as terrible as I’m supposed to believe, are they?”

“I personally think they’re all piles of shit but no, they’re not.” Eris said and the corner of his mouth ticked up at Iris’s expression. “We’re not close but we have an understanding. They’re …trying to survive.”

Iris nodded slowly, her eyes falling to her hands in his and the way his thumb was still caressing her palms. “Do your brothers know about Lucien?”

Eris pursed his lips before answering. “My mother…preferred for everyone’s sake, they stay in the dark about it for as long as possible but they needed to know. We had to be on the same page for her sake. So with her permission, I told them. But the only people in this court who know Lucien is not a Vanserra aside from my parents are my three brothers.” he said and met her gaze. “And now you.”

Iris nodded slowly, a strange sense of pride filling her chest that Eris was sharing with her. That he trusted her when he trusted very few. She felt that strange tug in her ribcage once more.

“Things are never truly what they seem with you Vanserra clan, is it?” she said with a small huff of laughter and Eris couldn’t help but scoff.

“Nothing is ever what it seems,” he said. “Except my father. He’s always been a piece of shit.”

Iris chuckled and she couldn’t quite place the emotions she felt as she watched him. She saw the exhaustion, the heavyweight suffocating him. She hadn’t forgotten when he told her how often he mediated between his parents. How many times he’d had to do it for others as well? How often had he been the one to catch the brunt of his father’s wrath?

Eris shifted next to her and it made her focus on him once more, his expression tight and she braced herself for whatever he would say next.

“Lucien’s father is also why he and Elain live in the Day Court.” Eris said slowly. “Courtesy of the High Lord.”

Iris blinked rapidly. “Oh.”

Eris nodded and waited for a heartbeat as it clicked for Iris.

“Helion?” Iris’s shocked whisper had the corner of Eris’s mouth curl up before it fell once more.

“The High Lord of the Day Court is my brother’s father, yes.” Eris began then swallowed hard before continuing, “He is also…my mother’s mate.”

Iris’s shocked silence filled the room. “Oh gods.”

Everything suddenly made so much sense to Iris. The High Lord’s contempt towards Lady Enya. His reaction whenever Lucien was brought up.

“Oh gods.” she said again and Eris’s mouth went into a thin line. “How did your father find out?”

“When Lucien was born…no one thought anything of it. He looked like any other baby.” Eris said quietly. “Until one day…he started to glow whenever he laughed. Or whenever he was fussy. It didn’t take my father long to figure it out after that. Everything went downhill from there.” He looked down at their hands. “My mother…she only ever stayed for her sons. So we wouldn’t be left completely at his mercy growing up. And my father knew this. He spared no chance in breaking us all down for her choice.”

“That’s why your father did what he did to Lucien.” Iris said and Eris nodded solemnly.

“Once he knew Lucien wasn’t his, it wasn’t hard for him to differentiate his treatment. He hated looking at him. Hated speaking to him. My father couldn’t outright disown him because it would bring questions and you want the High Lord to admit his wife had an affair? And birthed a son from another High Lord? He would never.” Eris said, scowling. “He knew he could treat my mother the way he does because she broke it off with Helion. For us. For Helion. So there wouldn’t be some kind of crisis between the two courts. She’s been suffering so others won’t.”

Eris swallowed then looked at Iris. “They’re mates.” he whispered. “And he let her go because she chose us. She chose her children. But she always wanted him and he always wanted her.” Eris’s eyes fell down to their joined hands, his shoulders dropping. “He has never stopped loving her. Helion may pretend he hasn’t been waiting for her all these years with his dalliances and carefree attitude but he will always wait for her. Even when he doesn't want to.”

Iris’s heart broke for Lady Enya and for the High Lord she didn’t know. It broke for the son who knew everything and had to watch his mother fade away and his father become a monster.

“That must’ve been so hard for your mother.” she said quietly. “After all these years…” Iris shook her head. “When did Lucien find out? And Helion?”

“A few years ago.” Eris continued with a sigh. “After the war, something…something in my mother changed. Maybe it was the war or maybe her capacity of dealing with my father had finally reached its limits or maybe she realized her sons had only suffered watching her suffer and she was done waiting but…” He shook his head. “I saw a small spark of who she was return and she decided she wanted Lucien to know.”

Iris scrunched up her nose then shook her head.“I’m sure that went well.”

“Considering I had to be the one to tell him because he wouldn’t set foot here? It went great.” Eris said with a snort so like his usual self that Iris couldn't help the small smile. “My mother wrote him a letter. And I had to watch Lucien have a fucken meltdown once he read it.”

Iris shook her head again. “You can’t blame him, Eris. He endured all that he did with a piece of shit that wasn’t even his father.” she said and squeezed Eris’s hand. “Who knows what kind of life he would’ve had if he had known about Helion sooner. I’m sure it was hard for you both.”

“It wasn’t as hard as the time I had to be the one to tell Helion.”

Iris’s brows went up but she held off on saying a word as Eris’s shoulder tensed again. He had been sharing with her so easily, so openly, she didn’t want to say anything to have him shut down.

“What happened?” she asked quietly and Eris sighed.

“I told you how my mother started to…come back to us.” Eris said and Iris nodded. “Well. Lucien wasn’t the only one she wrote a letter to.”

Eris shifted, running a hand through his hair while his other hand stayed wrapped in hers. “I didn’t read it, of course, but I know she told him. And I know she told Lucien that she’d let Helion know but it was up to the two of them to connect if they wanted to,” he said quietly. “She hoped they would but didn’t want to push it. She felt awful enough to have hidden it all these years and then to not be able to tell them herself…” Eris fell silent with a grimace. His mother’s face had rarely been dry from how often she cried those days.

“How did Helion take it?” Iris asked softly.

“I have never seen someone breakdown the way the High Lord of Day did that day.” Eris shook his head again with a frown. “I think he was already at a breaking point and that was a final straw. It was messy. For Lucien. For Helion. For my mother.” he said. “There was a lot of resentment. A lot of anger. A lot of hurt. Especially because my mother can’t speak to either of them in person…she dropped this tragic surprise on them and essentially put them in a position to deal with it without her.” Eris waved a hand. “Even if it’s not by choice, it…was hard for everyone.”

“Including you, I’m sure,” she said and squeezed his hand again. “Being the in-between.”

“I was more worried my father would find out again. What would he do to her this time if he found out she’d reached out to the one male she never stopped loving?” he said quietly then shrugged with a deep sigh. “But they have a code. She writes him letters and he replies.”

Iris felt emotion swell in her at the Lady of Autumn and the love she never stopped holding on to. “The letters she writes to Lucien include a letter for Helion, don’t they?”

Eris let out a harsh laugh. “It’s reckless after all these years but...I see her face every time she hands me a letter and whenever he sends one back. I’ve watched her wait and suffer for all these years so she could find her way back to herself. And Helion…” His expression was tight as he continued. “He would worship the ground she walks on. He would give her everything that she’s ever wanted and a life that she deserves but we have had to watch her stay here because of us. We had to watch her die little by little each year and could do nothing.” His voice broke at the final word and Eris forced himself to swallow before continuing. “He is a better male than I could ever be. Because if my mate was suffering the way my mother has, I wouldn’t have left a person alive. I would’ve razed the whole fucken continent. I don’t know how he did it. How he still does it after they’ve reconnected.”

It took a moment for Eris to be able to continue. He sighed. “Helion has always been respectful of her choice. Even when he resented it. Even when he hated it.” he said. “Their bond…I don’t think it was ever really rejected because deep down, neither of them wanted that. I think it’s just been strained all these years.”

“And now here they are…” Iris mused quietly, her mind drifting to the conversation she had with Elain earlier. “A mating bond so strong even years apart couldn’t diminish how right it is. It’s a beautiful thing for those lucky enough to find it.”

Eris tensed at her words, his heart skipping a beat. Would she still feel this way about him when he told her? Would she consider herself lucky knowing the kind of shit he had to deal with? He rubbed a trembling hand over his face and continued.

“My mother is ready to leave. I’m just waiting on when,” he murmured. “I’ve been helping her reconnect with her magic and it’s making her stronger, but it’s been hard when she’s so fucken terrified of it.” Iris squeezed his hand and he offered her a thin smile. “She’s been always scared to leave us but my brothers and I can handle the fallout now. We couldn’t before but we will now. We want her to get the fuck out of here. We’ve had enough and she’s most definitely had enough.”

“And you’re all…fine with her going to the Day Court?” Iris asked quietly.

“Yes. A part of me will always resent Helion the way I sometimes resent my mother for all these years of having to deal with this. Even if the fault ultimately always lies with my father.” Eris said tightly. “This could end very badly but once Helion claims her publicly as his mate, my father will have to let her go.”

“Will he, though?” Iris asked, unease creeping in her chest. “What if he invokes the Blood Duel?”

Iris felt the shift in his mood at her question and watched him carefully as he slid his hand from hers and stood. His shoulders tensed even further and all at once, Iris felt the room heat up once more and her stomach dropped as he ran both hands through his hair, his breathing turning shallow again.

“He won’t have a fucken choice. A mating bond trumps everything else.” he growled softly. “But if Beron invokes the blood duel, I can promise that it will only end in agony for him. I will do everything I can to ensure it, even if means handing Helion the spear to plant in his chest myself. I will do anything. Anything to have him gone and be rid of this misery. I just need him gone without trying to take my mother with him.”

“You said your mother wants the killing blow.” Iris said carefully and she saw his fists clench. “Will that…be possible?”

“She will be ready for it regardless, but we will have to see how the events unfold.” he said in a strained voice. “Helion has enough pent-up rage in him towards my father that I wouldn’t be surprised if he killed him with one well-aimed blow.”

Iris opened her mouth but Eris resumed pacing with another shake of his head and continued.

“Elain’s visions keep telling me that pieces are moving and all we can do is be prepared for whatever is coming next,” he said. “The problem is there are too many things out of my control. There are too many pieces on the fucken chess board and I am — I am going to lose my fucken mind if things keep piling up.”

Iris watched as he took another breath and fisted then flexed his hands. “You don’t have to handle all this alone.” she said and stood, watching the grimace he made at her words. “You can’t stay like this when you have people willing to help you.”

“The more people that help me, the more people get hurt.” Eris snapped and Iris frowned at his tone as he kept pacing. “I can’t — I can’t keep letting that happen.”

“Eris,” she chided gently. “You can’t stop —”

But Eris let out a snarl and Iris blinked to find him aflame once more.

“Don’t.” he said. “I can’t stop because the next person that he’ll hurt if I let one thing slip is you and that will bring hell upon us all.” His snarl shook the room and Iris felt herself tense. “Because if my father touches you. If he so much as looks at you wrong, I will kill him and probably get killed in the process and then everything we’ve been enduring for years will go up in flames from my stupidity.”

Iris’s face flushed. The anger and shame she had felt earlier had found its way again and the feeling seeped down her body as he stood across from her. “I’m not asking you to kill your father for me, Eris. I’m asking you to ease some of the things you’re carrying so you don’t keep doing this to yourself.” she snapped. “You’re lashing out at me right now while all I’m trying to do is understand what happened with you and find a way to help.”

Eris was breathing hard once more and she braced herself as he walked over to her, his body burning. His hand curled around the nape of her neck and he pulled her flush against him. “I know you’re trying to understand and I’m trying to help you understand how fucked up this all is and how much I have hated every single thing about myself and my life for the longest time. That I have always been a thing my father uses to punish everyone for everything because I can’t stomach him doing it to anyone else.” He took a breath as Iris placed a hand gently on his chest, blinking rapidly. “The only reason my father isn’t dead yet is because I need to make sure it’s a fight I can win. Because if I die, then everyone else is left dealing with him. My mother. My brothers. You.”

His grip tightened on her as he continued, his tone almost frantic. “I’m telling you all these things so you understand that I am fucked terrified of what comes next because things have changed for me and the stakes are even higher and now I am a thing that has someone to leave behind. Someone who will be brutally hurt just because you’re linked to me in a way no one else will ever be.” he said as his wild eyes locked on her wide ones. “I have laid down everything at your feet. All of my armor. Everything that I am and you want to know why? You asked me what changed earlier. What happened to me.”

“Eris, you need to breathe,” she said even as her heart rate went wild, a hand clenching his arm. “I want you to tell me but I need you to breathe.”

But Eris shook his head and before Iris could open her mouth to say anything else, his expression fell and the grip on the back of her neck tightened once more. “You.” his whisper broken and his eyes watched her wildly, wrapping her in his arm as his flame licked every inch of her. He held her to him tightly, as if afraid she would disappear and slip through his trembling fingers. “You. You. Tell me you see it. Tell me you fucken feel it.”

Iris stared at him. She stared and stared and stared and that feeling, that tug she had felt in her ribcage earlier, seemed to intensify. What he was saying — what he was insinuating. It had crossed her mind only briefly, for one hopeful moment earlier, and yet — here he was, saying — he was saying —

Something had been different since that kiss. Something had been different about him since the moment she met him.

“I — I felt you.” Iris found herself saying then swallowed. “When you were gone and took long. I don’t know how else to describe it but…I felt you.”

“You did?” he asked, nodding. “And what did it feel like?”

“A tug.” she said slowly. “Right in my ribcage. I feel it right now.”

Eris laughed a hollow laugh as he watched her beautiful face, her expression shifting as her mind processed what he was saying.

And Iris blinked. “I kissed you.”

“You did.”

“And everything — it felt so right.”

“You said things were always intense between us.” he said quickly. “That we couldn’t fight the pull we felt towards each other despite the way our relationship started.”

“Yes.”

“You kissed me.” he said almost desperately. “And every single thing in my life suddenly made sense. Every part of me made of stone suddenly became covered in you. Like ivy, wrapping its way around me whether I liked it or not. It was something I had never thought would be mine or something I deserved and yet somehow, this is happening. This is real.”

Iris felt her body start to tremble at his words, the feeling inside her chest unfurling as every moment they had shared together flashed through her mind. Nothing about their relationship had made sense and yet, the two of them seemed to have been destined to find each other. Everything about them, Eris and Iris, fit together like puzzle pieces they hadn’t known were missing. She hadn’t been able to stop him from planting roots within every part of her mind and body, long before she realized what was happening — even when she had wanted nothing to do with him.

He had always been hers and she, his.

Iris stared into his eyes, watching the hope mingle with the desperation he felt, and her hands slacked at her sides. She had spent her life adrift. Alone. She had spent her life barely mattering to anyone at all. Forgotten. And now, in a twist of fate, Iris had found something she hadn’t realized she was even worthy of.

Eris Vanserra had appeared in her life and what she had assumed would be a walk to the gallows, a nightmare like the one he had just returned from, was anything but. He was anything but.

He was her beginning, her middle, and would be her forever.

They had both been lost only to be found within one another, the red string of fate guiding their path.

“This is real.” she finally said and Eris nodded, his gaze never leaving hers.

“This is fucken real.” he said hoarsely. “This is very fucken real.”

Every glance. Every touch. Every moment that had angered her and made her laugh. Every moment that had made her feel. It had all been leading her here.

It had been leading her home.

Iris took a sharp breath and finally whispered the words, “You’re — you’re my mate.”

#eris vanserra #eris vanserra x oc #eris vanserra fanfic #eris x iris #smtb #I hope you enjoy this and like my spin on plot things lol #forgive me for the wait #this year has not been the writing year for me.#I hope the tags work!

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xiaoxiongmaos · 1 year

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taehyun for @wonjinist!

#moasource #txt #taehyun #tomorrow x together #tomorrow by together #kang taehyun #txt fanart #fanart #mine:fanart.#mine.#userhaknew #higabi #useryjunies #jeer ✨#ayabestie #really hope you like this hehe #wishing you the happiest of birthdays eri ♡ hope you enjoy it to the fullest!

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lucienarcheron · 4 days

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Spirit Meets the Bones - XVI

Genre: Angst/Romance Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse.

shoutout to my bby @abruisedmuse for staying on this journey with me!

Find it all here.

Before panic closed his throat and he could dive into an irrational mental breakdown, Iris returned with a bowl and a small cloth in her hands, and visceral relief washed over him. Eris watched her make her way toward their couch and sit. She looked at him and then calmly gestured to the seat next to her. “Come sit. I want to see your hands.”

Eris’s blink was the only show of surprise he would allow himself to give but slowly, he made his way over to her. He carefully sat next to her, allowing enough space between them in case she needed it. In case — in case he had indeed frightened her.

Iris paused at the space and her brows furrowed. “Are you uncomfortable if I come closer?” she asked quietly, a flush on her face and Eris felt his chest tighten.

“I’m giving you space — from me.”

He watched her expression soften and with a small shake of her head, she moved closer to him and held out her hands. Eris let his eyes roam her face before his gaze dipped to her open palms. She was so steady. So steady and calm. No panic to be found. His wife, a healer through and through.

His eyes flickered back to her face, her bruises still evident and he felt a part of him die at the sight.

“You’re the one who is hurt,” he said roughly. “He — he left bruises on you.”

Iris paused and Eris had to swallow as a rage like no other consumed once more. He had half a mind to find her father again and just rip his head clean off his body. He wanted to kill him again and again and maybe even —

“Eris.”

He blinked and Iris came back into view. She surprised him once more when she gave him a tight smile.

“I’m okay.” she said softly. “It’s already healing. This isn’t even the worst he’s done.”

“Not the worst?” he snarled and Eris’s hands fisted in his lap, the cuts and scrapes stinging in protest but he still said through clenched teeth, “He shouldn’t have been in here. He shouldn’t have laid a hand on you. I gave you my word —”

“My father is the only one responsible for what happened here. Do not blame yourself.” she said firmly, mirroring a statement of his own.

But how could he not blame himself? He was supposed to have protected her. He was supposed to —

“Can I see your hands, please?” she said and held out her hands once more.

Eris’s eyes flickered down to them, steady and open for him but he met her eyes again. “Are you sure?”

Iris only paused for a moment then quietly said, “Of course.”

Slowly, he slid his bruised and bloodied fists into her hands and his heart began thumping wildly as she ran her thumb across them, turning them over to assess. Iris rested them in her lap then turned to the bowl, wetting the towel and wringing it out before bringing it back toward him.

“It might sting a little.” she said softly.

“Believe it or not, I can handle a little sting.” he said quietly, and the corner of Iris’s mouth lifted as she shifted closer. Eris almost did as well but his face immediately fell at the slight wince that crossed her face.

“I’m fine.” she said quickly but he pulled his hands away.

“Clearly.” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m going to call for Nevien. She can heal you and I can heal fine on my own.”

“No!” Iris said and Eris froze at her tone. At the wide eyes and the bob of her throat. “I — I don’t want anyone to know. It’s healing as we speak so just — let me heal you.”

His eyes narrowed, assessing, and Eris tilted his head just so, hearing the frantic beating of her heart. Sensing the embarrassment radiating off her. He felt himself reluctantly soften.

“There isn’t anything to be embarrassed about, Iris.” he said quietly, and his chest tightened again at the tremble in her lip.

Her eyes fell to her lap and she took a breath before looking up at him again. “Can I please just heal your hands?” she whispered. “Please?”

And it was the pleading look in her eyes that had Eris run his tongue over his teeth and give in, slowly resting his fists in her lap once more. He watched her silently, slowly inhaling and exhaling to calm himself, to calm the rage still sweeping through him so that Iris didn’t back away from him. Only when she had started dabbing at his cuts and running her fingers gently across them to heal, did she finally speak.

“You beat him to near death.” she commented.

“If you had let me, I would’ve killed him.”

Iris stopped and looked up at him. She watched him silently for a moment then her eyes fell back to his hands. “For me.” she stated.

“For you.” he confirmed, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He felt no hesitation in answering. None. And he straightened as that thought sobered him up completely.

He let it fall silent between them once more, observing her as she curled a strand of loose hair behind her ear then continued with his hands. Eris watched her face as he flexed a fist in her lap and Iris winced slightly, freezing for a moment. His face fell.

Trying to hide the slight desperation in his tone, he asked, “A question for a question.”

It made his heart clench when the corner of her mouth went up in a sad smile. “A question for a question.”

“Did I frighten you?”

She blinked at him in surprise. “No.”

“You flinched back when I flexed my hand.”

Iris’s lips went into a thin line but she fell silent. Eris watched her swallow, holding as still as possible, hearing how rapidly her heart beat. He wanted — gods, he wanted to soothe her. He wasn’t exactly sure how but cauldron, he wanted to bring her some peace. He wanted to pull her closer and — and — Eris licked his lips, his eyes darting all over the tight expression on her face and grimacing.

He had only held her in his arms for the first time last night. He didn’t realize wanting to hug someone would be so hard.

So he waited and did the only thing that felt most natural between them, he took her hand in his and gently ran his thumb against the back of it.

“He — he slammed me against the table so my lower back is a little sore. When I shifted just now, I felt the aftermath of that.” she explained calmly, her hands now resting beneath his. She carefully met his gaze.

And Eris waited again as she watched him. She swallowed then her face fell, her bottom lip trembling violently and Eris’s expression mirrored hers.

“Iris —”

“I talk a big game.” she said faintly. “But in the end when it comes to my father...I am nothing.”

Eris’s grip tightened on her hands. “Don’t you dare call yourself that. He is nothing. He is nothing but a piece of shit —”

But Iris squeezed his hands again and the sniffle that followed silenced Eris. “I am weak.” she whispered and her hands shook in his. “When it comes to him, I always am. I am glad you came but I still wish — I wish you hadn’t seen it.”

“Iris — no.” he breathed, and this time Eris did pull her closer, his fingers gently skimming her cheek and curling a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You and I — we — we’re two sides of the same coin, remember? I want to see. I want to know. You don’t have to hide anything from me.”

“I’m — I’m not used to anyone seeing it when he acts like that.” she continued and looked anywhere but at him. “I don’t like this feeling.”

“Iris.” he said gently and pulled her chin towards him. It killed him to see the silver lining her eyes, to see that lip still trembling, to hear another sniffle. He still didn’t know how to soothe. He still wasn’t sure how to ease. All his life ever consisted of was chaos and yet — with her, everything seemed to calm. He met her gaze firmly, even as his own hand trembled lightly on her chin.

The words spilled out of him easily, as if they’d always been there, sitting on the tip of his tongue. “It’s just you and me. We are in this together and I want it all.”

Her eyes bore into his and she gently, slowly, took his hand in hers, bringing it to her cheek even as she sniffled. “You promise that?” she whispered, and Eris felt the breath nearly choke out of him at the sight of his hand on her face, at the feel of her skin still healing beneath his touch, that she had deliberately put it there herself.

“I promise.” he swore hoarsely, his thumb caressing reverently. “I know I broke my word today but I —”

“I know why you weren’t there. I knew he had something to do with it.” she said gently and shook her head. “I don’t blame you at all.”

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled and the familiar feeling of self-loathing began to fester in his chest. “I should’ve been — I was supposed to —”

Iris shook her head once more and took a breath. She tilted her head back, resting both of his hands in her lap once more, and blinked rapidly before sniffling then meeting his eyes again.

“This is why I am the way I am.” she mumbled. “The only thing I know how to do is fight, even when I am at my weakest. Even when I won’t win. He’s stifled me my whole life. Whether it’s through his words or his fists, all he ever did was bring me down. All I’ve known is this anger.” she bit her lip and quickly wiped angrily at a stray tear that fell. “For a while, I listened, let him do whatever he wanted without saying a word. I followed all his rules, all his requests...but then I realized whether I fought against him or not, his punishment was the same. He relished it.”

Her mouth twisted in disgust. “I was the enemy from the moment I took my first breath and it got worse and worse as I aged. He acts that way because he can. Because he has all the power to do so.” she said. She looked at Eris, then looked down at their hands in her lap, where he had started rubbing soothingly again. “With you...I expected a similar situation...but you could hurt me differently. You could hurt me a lot. In fact, I’m sure he counted on it.” she said with a hollow laugh. “But instead...you’re the first person to ever defend me. To actually listen to me and give me a chance. To ever show that you — you care.”

Eris watched her and pain wrapped itself around his wretched heart as she spoke because oh gods, did he care.

“Of course, I care.” he said tightly and then swallowed. “I — I know I’m not the most graceful with my words and I’m an ass most of the time but — Iris. You’re my wife. You’re — you’re my friend. Of course, I care.”

Iris met his eyes and then looked down at their hands once more. She took a breath and then met his gaze once more. “Well…that’s a relief, I suppose. Because I — I care about you too.” she said more shyly than she’d ever been with him. “And I want you to know that I am not afraid of your hands. You are my friend. You are my husband. I am not afraid of you.”

Eris closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath at her words then looked down at their hands, now intertwined.

“Those words…” he began then blew out a breath. “They mean more than you know.”

The corner of her mouth lifted for a moment. “What you did today means more than you know.”

“One word.” he vowed. “Just one — and I will gladly wipe him from existence.”

She gave him a sad smile. “I’ll hold you to that promise.”

Eris’s eyes roamed her face, wanting to say more — wanting to do more. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to hold her. He wanted so desperately, it hurt. But her bruises were still fresh and she still winced when she moved and Eris would be damned if he caused her any more discomfort.

What she clearly needed was some rest, some time to collect herself, and maybe some food. She didn’t need him pawing at her like one of his hounds. He was barely keeping it together as is.

“Why don’t you freshen up and get some rest?” he suggested, letting his thumb run across her hand one more time. “I will let Lucien and Elain know not to expect us today. We’ll go another time.”

“No!” Iris said, straightening with a wince. “I still want to go.”

Eris arched a brow and gave her a pointed look. “Are you sure? I want you to feel your best when we go.”

Though she flushed, she firmly squeezed his hands and gave him a pleading look. “I won’t let him ruin anything else for me. I’ve been looking forward to this and we still have time before we have to leave. I want to go.”

He realized again, as she gazed at him, that he would likely never refuse a request from her. Never put her in a position where she had to plead with him.

And oh, did Eris Vanserra realize how incredibly fucked he was when he sucked in a breath and then simply said, “Then we will go.”

Iris nodded as her shoulders sagged in relief then bit the corner of her lip, glancing at him and then down at their hands. “Before we go...do you think we can see the hounds for a moment?” she asked quietly. “They make me feel better.”

Eris gave her a small smile then squeezed her hands as she looked back at him. “Of course,” he said. “They make me feel better too.”

Iris shared a small smile with him and Eris watched her swallow, surprising him by leaning in closer. Eris froze and held his breath as she met his gaze then looked away, delighting him by placing a delicate kiss on his cheek. He hardly blinked, watching her slowly stand, her cheeks burning.

“Thank you.” she said softly. “I hope that was alright.”

It took him a minute to process the feeling of her lips on his skin. To hold himself back from pouncing on her to demand he feel those lips again elsewhere. “Very.” he said roughly. “It is always alright with you.”

Iris’s gaze dropped to her feet and the air between them seemed to shift. Despite the circumstances, despite what happened, it buzzed pleasantly.

“I’m — I’m going to go change.” she said, and again Eris noted that shyness in her tone again. A side of her he was definitely not used to.

“I’ll be right here.” he confirmed and with a small lift of her lips, she turned, heading towards their bathroom. She paused once, right in front of the same spot with the flecked blood and Eris watched her swallow hard before she hurried into the bathroom and shut the door firmly behind her.

He let out a breath, sagging against the couch, and closed his eyes momentarily.

Eris realized with alarming clarity, the depth of his feelings for her. He had felt this pull towards her gradually from the moment she threw that chair at him their first night together. But this constant desire to see her happy, to be the one to make her happy, to protect, to care for. He had certainly never felt like this before.

He ran shaky fingers through his hair, pulling at a lock to stare at it. He had woken up this morning instantly wanting to cut his hair — just because she had suggested it — because she liked the idea of him with shorter hair. The thought had made his body lock up in bed, knowing he would. He realized he would do just about anything for her.

And that — that terrified him. Because Eris wasn’t foolish. He had guessed at this emotion — this attachment, but it was with no confirmation and so he buried it deep enough to ignore it. Yet...he kept sinking around her.

Eris glanced at the bathroom door, listening to the sound of running water.

She was his wife. His friend. His partner. And today only solidified that he wouldn’t let a single thing harm her again. He’d kill it. Consequences be damned.

When Iris had finally emerged from the bathroom, freshened, and in a new dress, Eris was immaculate once more and already had the room cleaned and organized, with a tray of light snacks waiting on the table for her.

She paused at the threshold of their bathroom door and tried not to stare at him for too long, wondering how she would clamp down on the intensity of what she was feeling at the moment. He had nearly killed her father. Because of her. For her. He had not hesitated a single moment and Iris was nearly overwhelmed by the surge of emotion that hit her as she watched him shift the tray slightly, his back still to her.

When Iris had stepped into the bathroom and finally allowed the tears she’d been holding back to fall, Eris’s lingering touch had been the one to keep her from crumbling completely. She cried silently as she stripped the day dress she had been wearing and the tears continued to fall as she looked in the bathroom mirror to see the bruises. She let the tears continue as she washed away the ghost of her father’s hands and the sound of his hateful words, just as she had done every other time this happened over the years.

She let herself process and only when she could take a deep breath without tearing up, did she let herself heal her bruises, watching in the mirror as she began to slowly fix herself, as easily as the deep breath she took. It was thanks to Eris that she could master it enough to do it so easily. It was thanks to him that her father hadn’t done worse this time. It was thanks to him her father would hopefully never do it again.

The image of Eris’s wrath being unleashed on the person she hated most had filled her with a sense of vindication like no other. She hadn’t feared him for a moment. Only could watch as he raged for her.

Until he threw her father out. Until it hit her that Eris had seen what others had never seen on her.

Iris watched him now, fidgeting still with the tray and she looked down as her face flushed, biting her lip. Her eyes flicked to the now clean floor where the blood of her father had been spilled and she took a deep breath. She was fine. It would be okay.

She did not want his pity and he would not be the one to pity her.

So Iris sat with him at the table as he silently moved the tray towards her, watching her take a small bite. She had no appetite but with the intense way he watched her, she knew Eris wouldn’t budge until he was sure she ate something. So she indulged him.

Just as she had finally indulged in giving him a chaste kiss.

He continued to watch her as she finished, swatting her hand away with a scowl when she attempted to clean up, and shooed her away silently as he took over. She felt his eyes on her as she put the finishing touches on her dress, as she styled her hair, and much to Iris’s amusement, Eris continued to watch her intensely as they left the room and made their way to the hounds, his grip on her tightening whenever they passed others.

But she said nothing and he said nothing, only holding her closer against him, their hands interlaced the whole way.

A far cry from where the two had started.

Her heart beat wildly at how much she liked the way he watched her. His eyes didn’t watch her with pity or disdain. His gaze was a claiming, a look filled with emotions as mixed as her own.

And Iris knew without saying a word, Eris felt the whirlwind of feelings she was experiencing.

As they slipped into the kennel, Iris squeezed his hand gently and Eris reluctantly let her go, clasping his hands behind his back so she wouldn’t see his twiddling fingers. As the minutes passed and Eris watched Iris coo and cuddle with their hounds, he felt exceedingly pathetic as he physically restrained himself from touching her. Whatever cool, calm, and annoying demeanor he usually had vanished completely.

“Are you going to keep watching me like that?” Iris asked him quietly, a small smile on her face as she sat between the hounds, petting as they nuzzled into her enthusiastically. “I’m alright, you know.”

Eris gave her a half-smile. “I can’t help it that I find you incredibly breathtaking, wife.” he said with a shrug as Lyra came to nudge his side. His hand slid to scratch behind her ear. “Do you not want me to look at you?”

Iris bit her lip then slowly stood, turning towards Eris and he straightened at her solemn expression.

“You’re looking at me because you’re worried.” she said quietly and when he opened his mouth to respond, Iris held up a hand and then moved closer to him. “What happened between my father and I is something that I have had to, unfortunately, deal with for years but...I have learned to handle it as best as I can. To do what I can for myself and keep moving forward, even as he’s tried to paralyze him by his mere presence.” Iris closed her eyes for a moment as she took a deep breath then exhaled softly, her expression easing as she looked at him. “I don’t want to give him any more power to dwell in my mind or to ruin anything else for me so please, don’t keep looking at me like I’m going to break. I think you, of all people, would understand this…I don’t want to think about him or anything that has to do with him anymore.”

Eris scanned her face and her stance as she spoke, her words mirroring so much of his own thoughts about his wretched father. He understood more than she’d realized.

He held out his hands and Iris raised a brow before slowly sliding her hands into his. “I want to make sure you’re alright. That is all.” he said quietly, and Iris gave him a small smile.

“Is it?” she asked. “You once told me not to pity you when it comes to your father and I told you that I expect the same from you.”

Eris’s mouth twisted into a frown. “I do not pity you. There is absolutely nothing to be pitied when it comes to you.” he muttered, and Iris squeezed his hands. “I look at you because I care about you and want to make sure you’re fine. I am a bastard in many ways but not when it comes to my duties. And it is my duty to pay attention to you.”

Her expression softened and Eris was thankful she looked away from him so she wouldn’t see his hard swallow at his own words. When she looked at him again, he squeezed her hands.

“You’re alright?” he asked.

“I am alright.” she confirmed softly and the corner of his mouth lifted.

“Then please note that at this moment, I am looking at you because I am simmering with carnal desire.” he teased gently. “No other reason whatsoever.”

“Ah, so your true intentions have emerged,” she said with a soft chuckle. “Please husband, you’ll scandalize the puppies.”

“Not puppies.” he replied, his lips twitching.

Eris simply watched her with a small smile that Iris shyly returned and once again, said nothing more. Last night in each other’s arms had certainly shifted things between them but he wasn’t sure if he could handle any more of the feelings he was failing miserably to push down.

His wretched heart leaped into his throat when she stepped back, then interlaced their fingers again, the gesture so comfortable and normal, it made Eris’s throat tighten. His heart continued to thump wildly as they said goodbye to his hounds and made their way to the winnowing point, his mind whirling a thousand thoughts a minute.

“Do you have Lucien’s letter from your mother?” she asked quietly. “And our house gift?”

“I have the letter and sent the gift ahead.”

“Did you write a nice note?” she asked him and Eris couldn’t stop staring at her face, scrunched in all seriousness. “I didn’t get a chance to.”

“Yes.” he answered, distracted momentarily by how she bit her lip and then cleared his throat. “I said it was from you to Elain specifically and that Lucien can choke on a dick.”

Iris stopped in her tracks, narrowing her eyes. “You did not.”

Eris smirked as his eyes locked on her face and gave her a nonchalant shrug. “You’ll see for yourself when we get there.”

Iris shot him a glare and the look was one he was so used to, he couldn’t help but tilt his head back with a laugh. He pulled her closer into his side as he grinned down at her but Iris only squinted at him.

“You’re so annoying.”

“I know.”

“Sometimes I really can’t stand you.”

“I know that too.”

Iris rolled her eyes then gently knocked her shoulder against him and Eris’s mouth tilted up, all the feelings in his chest unfurling. He couldn’t stop staring at her. He also really felt like vomiting.

“If you know you’re being annoying and that I can’t really stand you, why do you behave the way that you do?” she asked, pursing her lips and Eris chuckled at her failed attempt to hide a smile.

“Don’t pretend you aren’t obsessed with how magnificent I am, wife. I can see the lust in your eyes.” he said quietly, his free hand threading a loose curl between his fingers and then tugging on it gently. “Will you be able to control yourself while we winnow or will I need to get myself a shield for additional protection?”

“You’re the one who looks like you’re going to faint every time I touch you.” she mumbled and scrunched her nose, avoiding his gaze when he chuckled again.

“It must be the witchcraft in your touch.” he replied and held out his hand.

Iris’s lips twitched as she met his gaze, sliding her hand into his and said, “Maybe one day I’ll put a spell on that mouth of yours to get some peace and quiet.”

“And go a moment without hearing my voice? Why do you insist on making things so difficult for yourself?” Eris tsked with a raised brow and Iris rolled her eyes.

“Too cocky for your own good, prince.”

“Confident just the right amount I’d say, my lady.”

Iris shook her head with a small smile, but she didn’t look away from him and Eris couldn’t look away from her if he tried. He thought back to their first night together and how he had craved something normal then. How unexpected it had come. How delightful it was. A simple joy he had not experienced...in so long. A joy he wasn’t sure he rightly deserved but would latch on to with everything he had.

“Ready to see the Day Court?” he finally asked and Iris smiled at him.

“Oh yes.” she began and Eris stilled as she faced him, her free hand smoothing a nonexistent crease on his shirt. “But before we go, I need to give you something.”

Eris arched a brow and tried not to be too distracted by how much of her body was touching his. How right she felt, holding his hand and looking up at him with such an open look in her eyes. Her bruises had faded completely but only because he was looking for them, did he still see the shadows of them and tried to hold back his anger from flaring up.

He focused on her eyes instead.

“Yes, wife?” he murmured, and Iris squeezed his hand before slipping it free, sliding both hands down the fabric of her plum-colored dress instead. Eris’s eyes followed her hands and he took in the cinched waist of the dress, tied with a pretty bow in the middle — the delicate sleeves, the modest cut of her cleavage that gave him a small tease. He couldn’t stop himself from sliding a hand to gently tug on the bow, looking up just in time to see Iris’s flushed face giving him a knowing look.

“Focus.”

“I am very focused.”

“On what I would like to say, please.” she said with amusement. “You can tug on the bow all you like, it’s not going to budge.”

“Not if I have anything to do with it.” He said with a smirk but obediently let his hands fall back to his side.

Iris only rolled her eyes. “I look presentable, then?”

The corner of his mouth lifted as Eris looked up to meet her gaze. “You look beautiful.” he said simply.

Iris flushed and bit her lip, looking down to where his hands rested at his sides then slowly, carefully, she moved them to settle on her hips instead. Iris’s hands slowly moved to settle on his chest and Eris felt his heart short circuit. “Before I give you this something I want to give, I would like to tell you something.” she whispered with a little smile.

“Tell me what?” he asked helplessly and he couldn’t take his eyes off her stunning face, off those beautiful hooded hazel eyes that seemed to look into his very soul.

“I wanted to tell you again...thank you.” she said and the little shy smile blessed her face once more. “For defending me.”

Eris swallowed, his eyes drinking in the sight of her stunning face. He could only murmur, “Nothing to thank for. I only did as a husband should.”

“And for being my friend.” she added softly, the smile still there as his heart thumped too loudly.

“I’m — I’m happy to be your friend, Iris.” he said with a small smile of his own, his hands tightening on her waist.

“I am happy to be yours too, Eris.” she replied with a small chuckle and if possible, moved into him closer. “Even though you are very obnoxious, and I was very prepared to hate you for as long as possible.”

Eris let out a choked laugh, tightening his hold on her. “Can’t blame you, my reputation precedes me.”

“I do recall you saying it was catered to a specific audience,” she said, spreading her fingers across this chest. “I don’t think I’m part of that category anymore.”

“You never were.” he said with a chuckle. “You did just say you like being my friend.”

Iris’s gaze dropped to her hands then flickered back to meet his. “I do.” she said quietly. “But I think — I think I’m ready to be a little more than that with you.”

Eris felt the air leave his body, barely blinked — barely had a moment to hear what she said as the only warning he received was the mischievous glint in her eyes before her hands curled into the front of his tunic and she yanked him down to her, her lips finally, finally meeting his.

He felt the world tilt, wondering if he had stumbled into a daydream until Iris leaned into him more firmly, pressing her body into him, and the soft noise that slipped from her lips had Eris’s body unlocking immediately.

And gods, if she wasn’t the most divine creature he had the pleasure of kissing. Kissing her ignited every ember of fire in his heart, his heart that was dangerously close to bursting out of his damn chest. Eris let her lead for a moment, let her nip at his lips as her fingers tightened into his tunic and he let her pull away for a second — just to breathe — so he could look into her eyes and her flushed face — ensuring that indeed, this wasn’t some kind of strange hallucination.

And then Eris was on her.

Her full lips were soft, welcoming to his own and Eris groaned at the taste of her. He leaned into her desperately, a hand cupping the back of her head while the other rested on her lower back as he dipped her slightly, pouring himself into the kiss and Iris returned it with a fervor he would be delighted to think about later.

He kissed her and she kissed him, the heated claiming saying all the words they wished to say but couldn’t just yet. A kiss that seemed to soothe all the jagged ends of his soul. A kiss where their jaded spirits met their tired bones.

And it was as he pulled her closer into him, drunk on the taste of her lips did he feel the thread between them, thumping in his bloodstream. The same thread he had seen before, that he now understood had woven around his wretched heart. The thread that pulled.

It hummed the one word he had been waiting for — Mate.

#eris vanserra #eris vanserra x oc #eris x oc #eris vanserra fanfic #acotar fanfiction #gfics #smtb chapters #I love this chapter btw hehe :)#one specific line I hope people who haven't read it before notice hehehehehe #thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!!!!#if you'd like to be tagged or removed (no hard feelings!!) please let me know!#the tagging system here sucks butt lately

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